#someone in comments mentioned slipping jimmy

[amiiizuki]

Are you telling me that an emergency slide just happens to fall into a lawyer's backyard like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy!

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

[gojolvs]

I still want you.

Chapter 8

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn��t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message on the box. Also super sorry for not updating but im back!

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Before you knew it, you had arrived back at your hotel, Sumire sleeping on your arms. With a sigh, you got up from the bus seat and made your way to the entrance. As you carried him to the room, you couldn't help but smile at how peaceful he looked.

As you walked to your room, constantly feeling your phone vibrate with messages and missed calls, a wave of guilt washed over you. You had just stormed out of your sister's wedding party in a fit of anger and now you couldn't help but feel selfish and regretful. You knew that your actions had caused a scene and potentially ruined her special day. The weight of your decision and its consequences weighed heavily on your conscience.

Was she really pregnant by Satoru? Do you mean absolutely nothing to him? Although you had shared an intimate night the night you went to the bar, you felt stupid for believing his lies. These thoughts were swirling around in your head, the reality of the situation sinking in. You couldn't believe that he would do this to you, especially after everything you had been through together. The trust you had in him was shattered, and you couldn't help but feel foolish for falling for his smooth words and false promises. It was a painful reminder that sometimes, people are not who they seem to be.

Maybe you should've taken that trip with Sumire, just the two of you, to clear your mind. But now, it was too late. You were committed to this path, no matter how unsure you felt. As you walked, the sound of your heels clicking on the concrete floor was a constant reminder of the life you were leaving behind. And with each step, you couldn't help but curse under your breath, knowing that your new pair of Jimmy Choo heels were now ruined.

You felt the tiredness of caring him hit you mid way to the elevator. You sighed with relief as the elevator doors opened, grateful for the brief moment of rest.

As you stepped inside, you couldn't help but wonder how much longer you could keep up this routine. But then you looked down at Sumire in your arms, and you knew you would do anything for him. You straightened your back and held him a little tighter, determined to make it through the rest of the day with a smile on your face.

"Well, someone looks happy." Turning to your side, you barely noticed the tall man with pink hair staring at you. Curling your smile into an awkward one, you turned back to continue trying to shove Sumire up, as he was slipping from your hold. Although the man's comment had caught you off guard, you didn't want to engage in a conversation with a stranger while holding your child. Plus, his pink hair and unusual choice of words made you a bit uncomfortable. You focused on sumire and decided to ignore him, hoping he would take the hint and leave you alone.

"Yeah, well I'm happy to be with my son is all," you chuckled awkwardly. Despite the pink-haired man being oddly attractive, you weren't really looking for a conversation because unfortunately for you, Sumire was starting to wake up. "Do you need help carrying him? It looks like you're struggling," the man said, curling his lips into a genuine smile.

As you handed over your toddler, a wave of anxiety washed over you. You knew that letting a stranger hold your child was not a wise decision, but you were desperate for a break from carrying him. With a mixture of hesitation and aggression, you reluctantly agreed. The man's reaction was unexpected - he froze in place as your little white haired boy happily grabbed onto his neck and curled up. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight. "Well since you're carrying my kid, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Y/N."

"My name is Sukuna." The pink haired man said, he silently checked you out. Looking at your heels to your dress he definitely knew you had some type of cash on you. All you were wearing was designer brands. "Nice to meet you." you said clutching your purse. You wondered if the man was here on a business trip because of the way he was dressed. He was wearing a suite which suited his body figure well.

You couldn't help but notice he looked a little like one of sumire's friends from school. However, his intense gaze and calculating demeanor made you feel uneasy. It was almost as if he was sizing you up, and you couldn't shake off the feeling that he had ulterior motives for wanting to meet you. You started to second-guess your decision to meet him, wondering if it was safe to trust him.

"Wait a minute... I know you." He said chuckling.

Realizing that you had never met this man before, you glanced back at the elevator sign, wondering if he had mistaken you for someone else. However, as you looked back at him, his chuckle turned into a sly smile and you couldn't help but feel suspicious. Who was this man and why did he seem to recognize you? You couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off."why is this elevator so damn slow" you thought.

"You do?" You laughed awkwardly, trying to hide the fear in your voice. All you could do was pray that he wasn't some serial killer.

"Mmm yeah I do. You're Satoru Gojos wife right?" tilting his head a little. You sighed, he was definitely one of Satorus business partners.

The man continued to look at you curiously, his pink hair falling into his dark eyes. You couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious under his gaze. "Yes, I am. And who might you be?" you replied, trying to maintain a polite tone despite your growing irritation. It seemed like Satoru's business partners were always popping up at the most inconvenient times.

"Well im just associated with your husband because we both work for the same industry." nodding your head you couldn't help but feel relieved when the elevator doors finally opened on your floor.

"I can take him from here." reaching for Sumire the man just backed up a bit.

"Where's your room? I can take him there," he said. You sighed in defeat as you stepped out of the elevator. Walking down the hallway towards your hotel room, you couldn't help but feel frustrated with Sukuna's constant presence. You knew he was only trying to help, but having him follow you everywhere was starting to become suffocating.

You could also tell that he was most definitely checking you out as you walked towards your room. Where was satoru when you needed him.

"So how long have you been married for?" Sighing, you shook your head, feeling the weight of your failing marriage. Finally getting to your room, you opened your purse to try and find the keys, hoping to escape the tension and disappointment that had been plaguing your relationship.

"Just a few years," you replied, finally grabbing your keys and unlocking the door. You turned around to face the pink haired man, smiling with gratitude. "Thank you so much for your help. Please come in and put him in the bed."

He gently put sumire down on the bed, straightening him self he cracked his knuckles before walking back out. You followed him planning on thanking him before he left. As you followed him, you couldn't help but feel grateful for his help and wanted to thank him before he left. However, you also couldn't help but notice the slight tension in his knuckles as he walked, perhaps a sign of the physical strain he had endured while carrying Sumire to the bed. You made a mental note to check on him later and offer your gratitude for his assistance.

As Sukuna stood by your side, you silently closed the door behind you, leaving only the two of you outside in the hallway. Turning to Sukuna, you couldn't help but smile and say, "Thank you for carrying my son all this way."

"I'm just happy to help," Sukuna replied with a smile, "Your son is a great kid." You nodded, grateful for Sukuna's assistance in carrying your sleeping child out of the elevator.

Sukuna couldn't help but lean closer, and as he did, you caught a whiff of his strong, expensive cologne. Your heart raced, wondering if he was hitting on you. But as you glanced to the side, you noticed someone standing by you.

"Leave her alone," Toji stood in front of you, pushing Sukuna away. Sukuna groaned in disappointment, "Toji, nice to see you too." The tension between the two of them was palpable, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for Toji's intervention.

"What are you doing here?" you said in a low voice, toji stared at sukuna. Not paying attention to you as he was trying to get sukuna to leave. "Come on man, I can't talk to her?" Toji rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by Sukuna's presence. You couldn't help but feel caught in the middle of their argument.

With a sigh, Sukuna made his way out of the hallway, leaving you and Toji alone. Surprisingly, the tension that had filled the air seemed to dissipate, replaced by a sense of calm and understanding between the two of you. It was as if Sukuna's departure lifted a weight off your shoulders, allowing you to fully relax in Toji's presence. The atmosphere had changed into something more peaceful, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for this moment of tranquility.

"You followed me?" Confused you stared at him

"Yes, I did. I was worried about you," Toji replied with a concerned expression. "I saw you walk out alone and I couldn't just let you go without making sure you were okay." He squeezed your arm gently, his eyes full of worry. "Are you alright?"

Nodding your head you couldnt help but see that Toji's chest was going up n down fast. He had sweat beats forming on his forehead most likely meaning he sprinted here. "Did you run all the way here?"

Nodding your head, you couldn't help but notice that Toji's chest was rising and falling rapidly. Sweat beads were forming on his forehead, most likely meaning he had sprinted here. "Did you run all the way here?" you asked, concerned for his well-being. Toji smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I wanted to make sure I got here in time to see you." You couldn't help but feel touched by his dedication and effort.

Toji was just staring, taking in your facial features. He couldn't help but admire your features, from the curve of your lips to the sparkle in your eyes. Every detail seemed to captivate him, leaving him in awe of your beauty. But as he gazed at you, he couldn't help but wonder, what was your secret? How could someone be so effortlessly and naturally stunning?

He leaned in, gently cupping your cheek in his hand. His intense gaze held yours, making you feel weak in the knees. You could feel your cheeks heat up and your body tense as his hand caressed your skin. The electricity between you was palpable, and you couldn't deny the flutter of excitement in your stomach. Maybe it was time for you to move on and find someone who actually cares about you. Someone who would treat you with love, respect, and kindness. You deserve to be with someone who values you and makes you feel appreciated.

You put your hand behind his head and pulled him closer, your lips inching towards each other. Maybe Toji was that someone, the one who could treat you with love and kindness, unlike the others who had only caused you pain and heartache. As you leaned in for a kiss, you couldn't help but hope that this could be the start of something real and beautiful. The fear of getting hurt once more overwhelmed you, causing you to hesitate and pull away from his soft lips. Memories of past heartbreaks and betrayals flooded your mind, making it difficult to fully embrace the present moment. You couldn't help but question his intentions and whether or not you were making the right decision by allowing him to kiss you.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his face inches from yours. You could see the hunger in his eyes as he gazed at you.

Feeling a rush of desire, you leaned in closer to him, allowing your lips to brush against his. "Nothing," you whispered, before closing the gap between you and giving into the intense chemistry between the two of you. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you found yourself getting lost in the moment. You knew this was wrong, but you couldn't resist the temptation any longer.

As his hand moved from your cheek to your waist, you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach. His touch was gentle yet possessive, and you couldn't resist the urge to lean into him. He hesitated for a moment, but then his hand slipped under your shirt, sending shivers down your spine as his fingers traced along your bare skin. The butterflies in your stomach only intensified, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for what was to come.

You could feel the coolness of his fingers against your skin and you flinched, but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement. Toji's gentle touch allowed your mouth to open just slightly, and Toji took that as an invitation, eagerly pushing his tongue into your mouth. The pleasure was intoxicating and you found yourself moaning in response, losing yourself in the moment.

You knew this was wrong, making out in the hall of your hotel. Anyone could come in at the moment and see you making out with Toji. But for some reason, it sparked excitement in you - the thrill of getting caught reminded you of your teenage years when you would sneak around with him at parties. It was a reminder of the carefree and rebellious nature of youth, and you couldn't help but indulge in the moment. However, you also knew that this behavior was irresponsible and could have consequences, but the temptation was too strong to resist.

"Mm, Toji..." Feeling his hand slide up, you felt a rush of excitement as he reached your breasts. Stopping for a brief moment to ask for your consent, he said, "Can I?" You didn't even have to tell him, you just grabbed him and pulled him into another passionate kiss. Taking that as a yes, he began to gently fondle and caress your breasts, sending shivers of pleasure throughout your body.

It had been a while since someone had made out with you, but it was clear that Toji needed you. Despite being with Satoru most of your life, you had never experienced a makeout session this passionate before. Satoru's kisses were always rough, but Toji's were on another level. They were gentle, yet somehow still intense and rough at the same time. It was as if he couldn't get enough of you.

"We should stop," you said, looking away from him to see if anyone had passed by the hall. "Yeah, we should," but before you could say anything, he squeezed your breast, causing you to look at him. He laughed in a playful manner before kissing you one last time.

You rolled your eyes at him before looking at him with confusion. "Where's Megumi?" you asked. "He's at your sister's house," he replied. "I came here as fast as I could, so I asked if she could watch him."

"Are you serious? you left your soon with a bunch of strangers." you shook your head in disapproval.

"Let's go get him, I need to talk to my sister either way," you hesitently said. Turning around to get your keys out of your purse, you opened your hotel room, with Toji following behind you.

You couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt as you watched your son sleeping peacefully. You knew you had to wake him up, but seeing him so content made you hesitate. You couldn't bear to disturb his peaceful slumber, but you also knew you had to stick to the schedule. You gently shook him awake, hoping he wouldn't be too grumpy about it.

"Come on, baby, wake up." You said in a soft tone, gently trying to rouse your child from their slumber.

Sumire awoke from a deep sleep, confused and disoriented as he found himself in a hotel room. He couldn't remember how he got there, but he was suddenly filled with joy when he saw you, his mother, standing by his bedside. "Mommy!" he exclaimed excitedly, relieved to see a familiar face.

Toji stood next to you as you gently picked up your son. "Hey, let me take him for you." You silently thanked him before handing Sumire to him. Without hesitation, Sumire wrapped his tiny hands around Toji's neck and buried his face in the warmth of his embrace. You couldn't help but smile at the sweet bond forming between him and your and son.

As you walked out, you made sure to carefully lock the door behind you before heading to the elevator. Once you reached the lobby, you made your way out to the parking lot, grateful for the car your sister had rented for you. You promised yourself to thank her again when you saw her.

"Can you drive? I want to sit with Sumire," you asked. Toji simply nodded and got into the car. You carefully picked up your son and positioned him comfortably on top of you, holding him tight. You quickly checked your phone to see if you got any messages from when you left.

3 messages from "Sister" 2 messages from "My love ♡" 5 messages from "Toji Zen'in"

Confused as to why you still had Satoru as "My love" you clicked on his contact. Quickly changing it back to "ex-husband." Curious on what he texted you clicked on his message.

Y/N please call me when you see this. Please tell me if you got safe with sumire if you can.

You scoffed seeing his message. You were filled with anger and resentment upon receiving his message. 'How dare he try to act like a caring father now? He should have thought about the consequences of his actions when he decided to cheat and get another girl pregnant.' It was too late for him to try and make amends now.

You hated him so much. You couldn't believe how different Sumire was from his father. His kind and gentle nature was a stark contrast to the man you despised so much. It was almost hard to believe they were related.

"So we get megumi, I talk to my sister and we leave, Okay?" You said.

"That sounds good," Toji said, placing a hand on your thigh before carelessly rubbing it. You realized he was driving with one hand and for some reason it made him look immensely attractive. His confident and nonchalant demeanor while driving added to his charm and you couldn't help but feel drawn to him. The way his hand rested on your thigh sent shivers down your spine, making you want him even more.

Toji had a way of making you feel youthful, despite the small age difference between the two of you. Although he was only two years older, being around him made you feel more energized and alive. He had a contagious energy that could make anyone feel young and carefree.

"Toji?" Seeing him turn to look at you, you took in his features. His sharp jawline, dark hair, and piercing dark green eyes took your breath away. You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach every time you looked at him. It was no wonder he was the most popular guy in school.

Everyone wanted Toji, even your sister had a major crush on him. She was a freshman when he was a senior. Little did she know you were lucky enough to make out with him the day before he graduated.

"Do you still remember how Highschool was?" With a squeeze on your thigh he began to think.

"Hmm, high school was quite boring actually," he said with a sigh. "Well, except for the fact that I could see you during passing periods," he added with a sly wink in your direction.

"You're dumb." You said, playfully rolling your eyes at him.

"I'm being completely honest with you. I had strong feelings for you, but I was told that you were in a serious relationship with Satoru, so I didn't want to interfere or make things complicated."

You smiled knowing Toji always thought of you in a romantic way, but you also couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if you had married him instead of Satoru. Would things have been easier or more fulfilling? Would you have avoided the heartbreak and struggles you faced with Satoru?

"We're here," he said, parking the car outside the house. As the music and chatter from outside filled the car, you felt hesitant and unsure if you should actually go in.

"Here, I'll carry Sumire." He said, gently picking up your son and holding him in his arms. You were still getting out of the car, and Toji extended his hand to help you. You gratefully accepted it, feeling a sense of warmth and connection as your fingers interlocked. Together you walked inside the house.

Upon opening the door, you were greeted by Jiyuu, who appeared to have been crying. "Couldn't my day get any better." She said before shoulder checking you and walking out the door. You were in disbelief, she really just said that in front of you. Scoffing you continued to walk towards the patio.

Satoru was frustrated, Jiyuu had ran out and he had to go after her. He began walking to where she had left before stopping in his tracks and seeing you. Toji was holding his son, his baby. He looked at Toji in disgust before his eyes followed to you, seeing that you were holding hands with Toji he chuckled.

Satoru couldn't believe it. After all the trouble Jiyuu had caused, she had just run off and left him to deal with the consequences. And now, to make matters worse, he saw that you were here with Toji, holding hands with him. Satoru couldn't help but feel disgusted and betrayed by both of you. He had always hated Toji, but now it seemed that you were with him. He stood there, unsure of what to do or say next.

All he could do was just walk past you, pretend like he didnt care that you were with another man. He had priorities now, and that was to catch his pregnant lover who had just ran out.

"What a scum." you said

As you walked outside, you noticed a group of people gathered and chatting. Your eyes zeroed in on your sister's fiance, who seemed to be the center of attention. You quickly made your way over.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're safe," he said, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

"Where's Marie?" you asked, scanning the room for any sign of her. However, she was nowhere in sight. You wondered where she could have gone off to and if everything was okay.

"She's in her room, all the bridesmaids are in there," he said, gesturing towards the door before turning to greet Toji and your son.

Looking at Toji, he had just smiled at you and reassured you that it was okay to leave. "It's fine, go ahead. I'll take care of Megumi." His kind gesture put you at ease and you were grateful for his understanding.

You walked to your sister's room, knocking on the door before you were greeted by Utahime. She looked at you with a shocked expression, practically jumping on you. "Y/N! I'm so glad you're okay!" she exclaimed.

Walking inside, you saw all of your friends gathered in the room, with your sister on the bed crying. You immediately felt guilty, knowing that your actions had caused this emotional outburst. Without hesitation, you walked over to her and embraced her in a hug, apologizing for the scene you had made.

"I'm so sorry Marie, I didn't mean to storm off like that," you apologized to your sister, feeling guilty for your outburst. You knew that your sister deserved an explanation for your behavior and you were ready to give her one.

She reached out and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You've been through a lot, but you're here now and that's all that matters," she reassured you with a warm smile. "And I completely understand if you don't want to be a part of my wedding anymore. I love you and everything you have done for me, but I want you to be happy and comfortable with your role in the wedding." You quickly cut her off, reassuring her that her feelings and opinions are important to you.

"Absolutely not, I'm staying for this wedding. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it for anything," you said, hugging her again. You had been looking forward to this special occasion for months, and there was no way you were going to miss it. The thought of not being there to celebrate with your baby sister and witness her happiness was out of the question.

She smiled at you, happy that you were going to be in her wedding. "And as for Jiyuu i want her there too." you said, you're sister looked at you confused.

"Are you sure?" she asked again, concern evident in her voice. "I can take her off if you want," she reassured you, gently squeezing your hand. You could tell she genuinely cared about your well-being and wanted to make sure you were comfortable with the situation.

"No, it's fine, I have to go." you reassured your sister before getting up from the bed and giving her one last hug. "I'll be safe, don't worry. And I'll definitely text you." Your sister smiled and nodded before letting you leave the room. As you walked outside, you saw that Toji was getting along well with your sister's fiancé.

You walked towards him and gently took Megumi from his grasp, feeling grateful for his innocent and loving nature. "Hello, my sweet baby," you cooed in a soft, high-pitched voice. His eyes lit up with excitement and he wrapped his tiny hands around your neck, his pure and genuine love bringing a smile to your face.

"Well we should get going, thank you for everything." You thanked him before grabbing Toji's hand and walking towards the entrance.

Toji was walking with Sumire holding his tiny hand while you carried Megumi. You always wanted another kid. Just so Sumire wouldn't be alone. But having another child was basically impossible since his father was no longer in the picture.

However, as the wedding drew closer, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread and sadness. Going home also meant finalizing your divorce and leaving behind the life you once knew. The impending changes and uncertainty made it difficult to truly enjoy the vacation.

Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells@creolequeen11210 @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode@lilith412426 @meojjjsworld @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos

[astrophileous]

I'm in It for the Money

Part 1 of 4 from The Countdown series.

The above image does not indicate the reader's physical appearance.

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: When Derek is forced to go undercover for a case, he doesn't expect to encounter the past that has haunted him for years.

Word Count: 4400-ish

Warning(s): STRONG NSFW IMPLICATIONS (nothing too graphic but MINORS BE ADVISED), past trauma/abuse, child abuse, undercover life, mention of dead animals, estranged parent-child relationship, discussions about organized crime (including but not limited to narcotics, firearms, human trafficking), mentions/talks of serial killers, cursing and other foul language, smoking (cigarette), implied age gap (undefined) (pls lmk if I miss anything)

Author's Note: another special shout out to @avis-writeshq for beta 🥺💞 I hope you like this one! Pls don't forget to leave a LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG tyyy ❤️❤️✨️✨️✨️

Criminal Minds Masterlist

The abandoned factory smelled like piss. It was the first thing Derek reckoned the moment they stepped into the darkened lot. Perhaps it was the meager visibility that caused his other senses to heighten. He swore he could almost hear a dying rat fighting for its last breath deep in the imposing darkness, but he might as well have been hearing the rush of his own blood.

Next to him, Agent Temples lit up a cigarette.

"I must say, until last month, I thought I'd seen all kinds of evil there are," Temples said before taking a long swig. "But a syndicate of serial killers?"

"Evils come in different shapes and sizes." Derek jerked his eyes towards the other man for emphasis. "Believe me."

A cloud of smoke appeared in front of Temples' face before it dissolved into the pitch blackness. "You've seen them all, haven't you?"

Derek didn't warrant him an answer. Instead, he steered the conversation towards the case at hand. "Tell me about your UC."

Temples relented. "She's been under for four. Smart, perceptive, vigilant. She was in the bureau for a short while."

This new piece of information tugged at Derek's intrigue.

"Really?"

"Your loss, our gain." Temples shrugged. "You'll know when you see her."

Derek nodded his head silently.

He stared at the tall windows on the distant wall. The foul odor around him had dwindled since his eyes adjusted to the feeble light from the moon. Either that, or Derek was subconsciously building resistance towards it. He couldn't decide which one was worse.

Agent Temples was flicking the butt of his cigarette when the first roar of an engine echoed in the distance. Derek's instinct kicked in, pushing his body to its full stature the second he saw what looked like a motorcycle light penetrating the window. Soon after the sound of the motorcycle reduced to nothing, Derek saw a silhouette slipping past the gap of the dingy entrance to the factory.

Temples called out to its direction, "You're late, Ghost."

The silhouette sauntered closer in the dark—proving claim to its name—before arising in the light like a doomsday's salvation.

"Patience is a virtue, Jimmy," you said in a tantalizing sneer.

Inside his chest, Derek's heart ceased to function.

From where you stood, your eyes had caught sight of him, too. Derek saw the flicker of recognition in them, maybe a little something more as well, but you schooled your expression faster than a blink of an eye.

"There was urgent business to take care of," you added.

Agent Temples hummed in interest. "Possible lead?"

"Debatable." You shoved your hands inside the pockets of your jacket. A casual gesture to the untrained eye, but the profiler in Derek knew it was an attempt to hide. From him, maybe. "I need more time to confirm."

"You do that. Meanwhile, there's someone you should meet. Agent Morgan, this is Ghost, our UC."

Temples proceeded to say your real name to Derek. As if he didn't already know it. As if the name hadn't haunted him every day and night for nearly the past five years.

"And Ghost, this is—"

"SSA Derek Morgan." For the first time since you walked in, your attention finally meandered his way. Derek burned under your blatant perusal. "Behavioral Analysis Unit. FBI."

Temples' surprise was glaring. "You know each other?"

"We did," Derek spat.

You appeared bemused at Derek's callous display. He, on the other hand, didn't find the whole thing amusing at all.

"We do," you eventually said.

Temples didn't seem to notice the existing tension in the air. If he did, he chose to say nothing. "This is great news! You guys know each other, so you can get everything settled yourselves." By a miraculous coincidence, Temples' phone started to ring. "Now, excuse me for a moment."

You waited until Temples was out of earshot before addressing Derek, "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah. I wish I could say the same."

You smiled somewhat sadly at the taste of venom in Derek's voice. The damp and moldy air in the forgotten factory stood no chance against the sting of Derek's cold glare. It was easy for your body to ignore the chill, pretending that Derek's indifference didn't bite through your skin. Your heart, though, was a different story.

"I didn't know it was gonna be you," was what you ended up saying after a full minute of silence. "When Jimmy told me that someone would be coming in, he didn't tell me anything else. I wasn't expecting you."

It was the most sincere string of words you had uttered since showing up in front of him. For a moment, something twitched in his chest, and Derek loathed the fact that you still had that effect on him even after years had passed. But as frustrating as it was, Derek didn't think petty would suit him well as a middle name, so he swallowed the bitter lump and forced his shoulders to relax.

"So, this is where you've been all this time? Living as a ghost?"

Derek's passing jab at your nickname didn't go unnoticed even if you chose to pay no heed to it. "I met Jimmy on a case, back when I was still with the bureau. He offered me the job."

"Is that why you ran?" Derek pretended not to see you flinch. "Or did you go to ATF because you ran?"

"You know I've always wanted to go under."

"As if you couldn't do that in the bureau."

"In the bureau? Yeah, maybe. But do you really think I could've done it back when I still had my old life?"

Derek bit his tongue. There was no mistaking what you meant by that.

Do you really think I could've done it back when I was still with you?

Something was boiling in the pit of Derek's stomach. He recognized it from those few months following your sudden departure from his life. Before tonight, Derek thought the wound you administered had scabbed over with time. But one encounter with you, and now those scars were opening up and bleeding again, all over the place.

"You used to say people who run are cowards."

Your head whipped towards him. In the darkness, Derek could still see the brush of disbelief across your face. He wondered, then, what had you looking so taken off guard. Was it the fact that Derek still remembered something you had said to him many moons ago?

In the end, your response was to avert your gaze from his face.

"Well," you began, "maybe I am one."

Thunders were feuding inside your chest. They squeezed around your heart like a garrote, making you gasp for air until you forgot how to breathe properly without doing so.

A few seconds later, you finally completed the fifth and final round of your torture.

"Time!" Derek called out as soon as you passed the finish line. "Four seconds faster than your last. Not bad."

Your heart was still galloping at a thousand miles per minute. The voice that rose when you spoke up resembled a choking fish out of water more than anything else.

"Not bad, but not good?"

"I think you can do better."

A sarcastic chuckle rumbled from your chest. "Any faster than that, Derek, and I might die."

"Don't deny your potential before it becomes real. You're so much more capable than you allow yourself to believe." Derek grabbed a bottle of water that he had prepared for you. "Here."

You accepted it with a quick thanks. "I've always hated running. It's something that cowards do."

"That's an extreme notion to have."

"Well, my family had a tendency to do it, and all of them are cowards," you said nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the weight carried by your choice of words. "My mom ran every time my dad beat my brother and I to the brink of death, and Dad ran when the police finally got on his ass about it."

Derek visibly softened after hearing your rancorous confession. "Your mother's still calling?"

The bitter scowl on your face was enough confirmation for him.

The first phone call arrived around four months ago. You had dropped the call as soon as you realized who was on the other end of the line, after which your mother resorted to leaving you an abundance of voice messages instead. All of them were deleted without a listen, and you found yourself blocking every incoming call from an unknown number just for the tiniest bit of chance that it might be from her.

Exactly a month ago, your mother suddenly showed up on your doorstep.

It was already alarming when you realized that she had somehow gotten a hold of your contact information. To then find her in front of your home was worse. You nearly didn't recognize her when you first opened the door; not with her thinner cheeks and sunken eyes. She looked nothing like the woman you remembered from the routine nightmares, but the shadow of terror in her eyes was one you knew quite well.

"It's good to see you," she had said after begging you not to slam the door in her face. "You look great. Healthy."

"Considering the last time you saw me, I was drenched in my own blood, I'd say that's an understatement."

She physically winced at your reply. "I paid your brother a visit before coming down here. Can we go inside?"

"No." You closed the door behind your back, pressing yourself like a royal guard against it. "Whatever you want to say, we can discuss it here."

The woman whom you once called mother darted her eyes everywhere. At last, she settled on pinning her gaze towards a point right beside your ear. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

You scoffed. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"What? No—"

"Do you need money? Is that it?"

A look of offense scampered by your mother's face. "Is a mother not allowed to ever see her child?"

"If I had a mother, then sure, she could see me. You're just a woman who stood by for years while I was bruised and battered every single day of my childhood." Tears had started to stream down her face, but it did nothing for you. It wasn't like she was ever affected by your desperate wails and cries when you were little, anyway. "I never hope to see you here again. If you keep coming, I'll be contacting the police."

You had slammed the door on her face after that, and thankfully, her phone calls and messages promptly stopped, too.

Until last week.

"She's sending text messages this time," you eventually said.

Upon hearing your answer, Derek gestured towards the bleachers behind him. You sighed loudly, albeit still obliging his silent request as you took a seat on the second lowest bench. Almost the entire track field was in your line of sight from where you sat. In the distance, you could see young cadets from the Academy training together. The scene brought a smile to your face. It reminded you of memories from a lifetime ago.

When Derek sat down, he didn't leave any gap between the two of you, pressing your sweaty thigh with his toned one.

"What are you planning to do?" Derek asked.

You opted to chug the rest of your water instead of replying.

"You threatened to report her to the police last time. You can choose to make true of that promise. Maybe it'll force her to stop for good."

"Or?"

"Or—" Derek glanced at you, his eyes sincere and not at all captious as he spoke, "—you can choose to try hearing her out."

Your face contorted into a grimace. "Are those two my only options?"

"Your third option is to do nothing and let her keep stalking you. Possibly until the aliens decide to invade the earth, sending humanity into extinction."

"Hm." You dropped your forehead on Derek's shoulder. "That sounds tempting."

You shut your eyes against the soft material of Derek's T-shirt. The smell of his detergent mixed with Derek's natural musk served as an anchor for the adrift ship of which you were the captain. Derek's presence was always a reprieve in your otherwise bleak life. Derek was comfortable. He was your safe haven.

"I know I have no right to speak about this, but I think it needs to be said," the man added.

You lifted your head to stare into Derek's eyes, the same ones who had crowned you as their sole center at that moment. His hand was warm as it crept towards the nape of your neck.

"Take it from someone who lost one of his parents at a very young age. You will end up regretting the things you didn't do a tenfold more than the things you did do." Derek's thumb swept over your eyebrows, smoothing out the creases until you were pliant underneath his touch. "I'm in no way saying that my situation is comparable to yours. I will never understand what you went through with your family. All I know is, I don't want you to wake up one day with any remorse about the past."

Derek's advice was sealed with three gentle kisses: one to your forehead, one to the tip of your nose, and one to your lips. You left one of your own on his jawline for good measure before burrowing yourself further into his side.

"I hate it when you're right," you grumbled.

"That kinda sucks, considering that I'm right all the time."

"Yeah, you are." You hid your smile on his shoulder. "Which is why I really hate you."

Less than two minutes later, Agent Temples re-emerged from the dark.

"Sorry about that, folks. What'd I miss? Have you two walked through everything?"

"Actually," you began, "we haven't even started yet."

"We got caught up... reminiscing about the past," Derek fabricated smoothly.

Temples didn't seem to detect the lie as he said, "Alright. We can go through it now. Ghost, you wanna start us off?"

You spontaneously stretched to your full height underneath the newfound attention. "I've been planting the seeds for months now. Hopefully, no one gets suspicious whenever Morgan decides to come in."

"What's the story?" Derek asked.

"You're a friend of my brother's. I've known you my whole life," you replied. "I orchestrated a malfunction in one of the orders a few months ago. We've been looking for an explosives expert ever since. That's you."

"And you're sure it's solid?"

"It's a perfect cover considering your time in the bomb squad. Just in case, though, Jimmy will handle your background." Your eyes flitted towards Temples, who nodded in confirmation of your statement. "By the time it's done, you can say goodbye to SSA Derek Morgan from the FBI. It'll look legit."

"Don't worry." Temples patted Derek's shoulder. "You're in the right hands."

"What about you?" Derek asked again.

You tilted your head curiously. "What about me?"

"What's the story you told them? Nothing good about a solid cover if yours isn't just as sturdy."

You squinted your eyes at Derek's strange question. It sounded, somehow, like he was questioning your work for the last four years, as though he only came up with it as an absurd act of retribution for something that could now be declared as history.

Or, perhaps, you were the one being paranoid because of your past mistake.

After all, you still didn't know how to move on from the guilt even to this day.

Before you could come up with an apt answer, Temples suddenly beat you to it, "You don't need to worry about that. Nobody dares to question Ghost. The Big Boss is sweet on her."

"Jimmy."

"The Big Boss?" Derek's glare pierced right through you. "You mean Kreczmar?"

"What can I say? Ghost is an expert when it comes to fraternizing with the enemy."

Temples could be a sleazy bastard sometimes, and right now, you wished you could punch that toothy grin straight off his face.

"Aleksander Kreczmar is an assignment. A means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less."

You didn't understand why your eyes blithered towards Derek as you made that proclamation. The way he was studying you, though, made you feel like a cell under a microscope. A small part of your brain had fleetingly assumed that it might be jealousy, but you pushed the hope away before it could sediment further into a foolish delusion.

"This changes things," Derek said out of the blue. "The fact that you're in a relationship with him—"

"I'm not in a rela—"

"—would never make him approve of me. He's a man with an ego. He's not gonna like his woman bringing in some guy she knew from the past."

The objection died in your throat.

Derek was making a lot of sense.

"You're the profiler," you shot a little too sourly. "What do you suggest, then?"

"Simple." Derek smirked, a picture of smugness and spite as he looked at you. "I'll tell him I'm in it for the money."

Derek pulled out with a hiss, immediately missing the warmth he had been enfolded in just a few seconds prior. He peeled off the condom before tying it securely, throwing it straight into the garbage can in the corner.

"Why did you decide to join the FBI?"

Your question brought out a laughter deep from Derek's chest. His eyes took in the view of your exposed upper body, mirroring his own state of undress, while your body's other half was covered haphazardly by the flimsy material of Derek's sheets.

If he didn't know any better, Derek would be wondering how you still managed to stay lucid even after the hours the two of you spent on his bed, and a few more hours around various corners of his home. But Derek could read you better than most people by now, and he could distinguish the sign of post-coital bliss glistening over your irises. Underneath the gentle glow of his bedside table lamp, you were a sight for sore eyes.

"Why do you ask the most random questions after sex?"

"Because people are usually more honest after sex."

"And you know this, how?"

"I read it." You slithered into a new position as you responded, flumping on your stomach with your chin pressing on Derek's abs. He looked down at you in wonder. "Your brain gets drowned in oxytocin every time you cum. The love hormone, people call it. Oxytocin promotes the feeling of trust, hence the truth bomb."

"Hm. You sounded like Reid just now."

"Why do you know what Spencer sounds like after sex?"

Derek grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing until you squealed at him for mercy.

"I think I was always destined to follow in my father's footsteps," Derek replied at last. "I picked law in college 'cause it made sense. Joined Chicago PD 'cause I felt like it was up to me to continue the job my father couldn't finish."

"And the FBI?"

"It was my first experience of staring evil right in the eye," Derek said. "The first time I truly felt scared on the job was back in the bomb squad. I got tired of having my life taunted by a bunch of scrap metals. Joining the bureau gave me the chance to stare directly at the people responsible for these crimes."

"You want to challenge them to their faces," you concluded.

"Exactly. I wanted to put a face on the crimes. When I realized that these people were just a bunch of fucked-up morons and sick-minded souls, going up against them wasn't as frightening anymore."

Derek's gaze roved over the entire ceiling as he spoke. His fingers on your shoulder drew abstract patterns that triggered an expanse of goosebumps on your skin. The alarm clock on the bedside table mocked you from the corner of your eye. Its little hands were swords, threatening you with the knowledge that you had to be up and out of Derek's place in just five short hours.

Your stomach churned at the thought.

"What about you? Why did you join the FBI?"

The question arrived as a welcomed distraction. It provided you with an excuse to push the thought of your inevitable flight to the back of your head.

"Do you want the honest answer or the default answer?"

Derek looked down at you in amusement. "There are two different answers?"

"Yes. Now pick one."

"The honest one."

"Is it cliché if I say it's because of my parents?"

Derek knew your question was more rhetoric than inquisitive, so he settled with squeezing your hip instead of a literal response.

"The worst thing about that part of my life isn't the memories, nor the nightmares. It's not even about the scars. It's the fear." A shiver ran down your entire body. For a second, Derek thought he had set the AC temperature too cold until he realized he hadn't even turned it on yet. "I knew if they placed me in front of my father again, I would crumble like nothing. I didn't want that. Couldn't accept that. So, I trained myself to stop being afraid in the face of atrocities."

As you finished your explanation, Derek couldn't help but think about how similar the two of you were in a lot of ways. His mind went back to a memory from years ago, back when you were still in the Academy, and back to the first time the both of you had ever met.

"What's your greatest fear?" Derek had asked that question in front of the room full of trainees back then.

Shouts of dying, height, and even my mom filled the air. Derek remembered scanning the crowd of faces in the midst of all of those answers before his eyes had fatedly landed on you.

"You." Your surprise was conspicuous as Derek's finger aimed towards you. "What's your greatest fear?"

"Fear."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"No, I meant that's my answer. Fear. Being afraid. That's what I fear the most."

You might not have been the first person he noticed in that gym full of people, but you were definitely the one who managed to stay on his mind.

After all, he had given the same answer when his trainer asked him the same question back during his time at the Academy.

"That was the honest answer," Derek noted after a lengthy silence had passed. "What's the default one?"

"It's the one I tell people," you responded with a brilliant smile thrown his way. Derek tried not to read too much over the implications that you had excluded him from the word people.

"Which is?"

"That I'm in it for the money."

"Hey." Temples' voice echoed inside the vast space of the factory. "I heard that one before. Didn't you use to say it all the time, Ghost? I didn't think much when you folks said you knew each other, but looks like you know one another quite well."

"I hardly think it's an appropriate time to discuss this, Jimmy."

"Right. My apologies. You have anything else, Ghost?"

Temples' question was a relief for your anxious bones. It gave you the chance to maneuver the conversation towards a more purposeful direction.

"Do you have a working profile for your UnSub?"

Derek studied you for a moment before replying, "We don't have much to work with. All we know is they operate on a network that spans throughout the entire country. It's run by a much smaller group. No greater than ten, most likely fewer than five. We flagged some human trafficking activities we thought could be related to them."

"They contacted me when they found out we have an active op on Kreczmar," Temples explained.

"You do know that we haven't uncovered any conclusive evidence for the trafficking allegations, right?"

During the four years you spent infiltrating Aleksander Kreczmar's empire, you had crawled, climbed, and sprinted your way up to the top. It was arduous work, one that required you to sacrifice a lot of things. Your life was one of them. Your dignity was often another.

For four years, you and your team had succeeded in stopping dozens of narcotics deliveries, along with detaining numerous firearms and explosives before they could fall into the wrong hands. You oversaw most of the trades that went through the eastern coast of Kreczmar's territory, but so far, you had never positively identified a single human trafficking activity connected to Kreczmar's ring.

You knew better than to perceive the lack of evidence as proof of innocence, though. That word didn't fit in any dictionary of a man such as Kreczmar.

"The profile fits," Derek declared. "Kreczmar's routes coincide with the syndicate's hot zones."

"That's a lot of areas to cover, Derek."

"Which is why we start here, at the heart of his operation. Which is why we need you."

That one sentence didn't have any business messing with every neuron in your brain, and you hated the fact that it did. Derek was the only person in the world who possessed that kind of power over you, and you couldn't help wondering if he did it on purpose just for the satisfaction of seeing you wither.

"You're putting a lot of faith in me, Derek."

"I've always had that for you."

The surrounding air seared where it touched your skin. Your tongue stiffened like metal inside your mouth, and beside you, Temples looked as if he was just now noticing the electric field buzzing between you and Derek.

"I need to get going," you rushed out. "People are expecting me."

"Oh? Of course. Thanks for making the time, Ghost," Temples said before bidding you goodbye.

You could barely look Derek in the eye as you offered a lame wave. Your shoes composed a scratchy melody against the ground. As you reached the exit, your eyes caught Derek's from the distance, and suddenly, you were hauled back towards the night that had gnawed at your memories for the past five years.

And just like that night, this time, you were running away from him once again.

Taglist is open. Leave a comment or send me an ask to be added!

Taglist: @citrusiove @kneelforloki @prentissim @bunbunbl0gs @lubunnii @alluring-andrayav @sammyrenae68

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

You Flinch During An Argument

request: none

prompts: none

warnings: mentions of abuse and murder, drinking, Kai being an asshole, language, crying, fighting, blood

a/n: this is formatted a little differently than my other headcannons

Tate Langdon

“Tell me it isn’t true!” you yelled, anger and betrayal flooding through you.

Tate didn’t say anything at first, keeping his eyes on the ground. You found out. He didn’t know how but you found out. The one thing he tried to keep hidden finally came out. And this definitely wasn’t going to end well.

“Tell me it isn’t true!” you yelled once more.

“I can’t! I did it, alright?! I shot up my school!”

You froze as soon as the words left his mouth. It was true. It was all true. Everything Chad told you was true.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I didn’t want you to look at me differently.”

While speaking, Tate raised his arm slightly, trying to emphasize his words. But as soon as you saw his arm come up you flinched backwards, putting your arms in front of you to block yourself, preparing to be hit.

“Y/n,” Tate said weakly, his voice broken as he watched you cower away from him.

The anger between the two of you was gone. He slowly walked towards you, pulling you into an embrace.

“I would never hurt you. You know that right?”

“Y-yeah,” you said through oncoming tears.

“Then why,” Tate trailed off, not being able to find the words.

“My ex. He used to hurt me. And I saw you raise your arm and I just thought-,” you paused, trying to collected yourself, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no you don’t have anything to apologize for. You’re safe here, and I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Kit Walker

“You’re never home anymore! All I’m saying is that I miss you! I want to be with you!” you yelled out in tears.

What started as a simple comment of how much you missed him throughout the day, exploded into something way more than that. The two of you were screaming at each other, neither wanting to give up their side.

“I’m never home cause I’m working! I’m trying to help us have money! Which is kinda important!” he said while raising his arm to make a point.

But you didn’t realize that. Memories came flooded back. Dear came flooding back. In an instant you put your arms in front of your face and backed away.

“No!”

Kit froze when he saw what you did. All of his anger left him when he saw you react the way you did. Did you think that he would hit you?

“Y/n,” he trailed off, pain filling his heart.

You were sobbing now. You lowered your arms, but didn’t step any closer to him. You leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor, curling up into a ball.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry,” you mumbled out, attempting to speak through your sobs.

“Y/n you have nothing to be sorry about. What happened?” Kit asked softly and he sat down in front of you, still keeping his distance as to not upset you.

“My father, he,” you cut yourself off with a heavier sob, not wanting to reminisce any longer.

Kit’s heart shattered when he realized what your were saying. He immediately moved closer to you and pulled you into a hug.

“You don’t have to see him ever again, I promise. We can move, go somewhere far away from him, if you want. But I will never let him go near you again, I promise.”

You looked up at him with bleary eyes.

“Really?”

Kit nodded, and instantly relief flooded through you. You let your weight fall into Kit’s side, wrapping your arms around him, happy that you would never have to face your father again.

Post-Death Kyle Spencer

Kyle was having a meltdown again. You were trying to teach him how to communicate again, showing him flash cards to help him relearn words, and get his needs across to you. But Kyle didn’t like that. He thought you were treating him like he was stupid. And that made him upset.

“Not stupid!” he yelled, smacking the cards out of your hand.

You flinched, and brought your arms up to protect yourself, not bothering to think beforehand. Kyle froze and looked at you sadly when he saw what you did.

“Scared.... of me?”

“No Kyle, I’m not scared of you. I promise, it’s not you. It’s just, some people weren’t so nice to me when I was younger, and I just got scared. It wasn’t your fault.”

Kyle didn’t really know what to do, so he pulled you into a hug, trying not to hug you too tightly. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder, allowing a few tears to slip out.

“You... safe. I... protect y/n.”

You gently smiled, and hugged him tighter.

“Thank you Kyle.”

Jimmy Darling

“Jimmy, I think you’ve had enough to drink,” you said laughing slightly at his drunken state.

You reached over to take the bottle away from him, but he pushed you back and held the bottle away from you.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Jimmy slurred out, glaring at you.

“Jimmy,” you said softly.

You knew he was a little grumpier when he was drunk but this time he seemed different. He was angry. Violent.

“Please, just stop drinking and come to bed.”

Jimmy stood up and walked over to you, seeming even more angry. The bottle slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor, shattering.

“I said don’t tell me what to do!”

He was so close, and so angry. You didn’t know what was going to happen and you didn’t want to. Without thinking you brought your arms up to block your face and cowered away from him.

Seeing your reaction cleared some of the fog over his mind as he realized what happened. You were afraid. Of him. He immediately backed away, a few tears falling past his eyes.

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” he whimpered out, not wanting to startle you by talking loudly.

You lowered your arms and slowly faced him. The sight broke you. He was crying because he thought you were scared of him. You slowly walked over to him and hugged him, trying to o comfort both him and yourself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, feeling guilt overtake him.

“I just got scared. You’ve never been angry like that before and I didn’t know what you were going to do. I’m not scared of you. I promise.”

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close.

“I’m not going to drink anymore. I promise. I’m going to stop, I never want to upset you like that again.”

James March

He was late again. The two of you were supposed to be having dinner together, but for the fifth time this week James was late. Normally you just waited for him, but you were so fed up. Was he cheating on you? Why was he always late?

You walked out of the room you waiting in and started walking around the hotel, hoping to find out where he was. Then you heard noises coming from James’ room. They sounded almost like moans.

You assumed he was cheating. That’s what it sounded like. You pushed the door open and gasped when you saw what was really happening. Maybe seeing him in bed with another women would’ve been better.

But there he was. Standing over a mutilated body and covered in blood. He turned to face you when he heard the door open, his face immediately falling when he saw your reaction.

“Darling, what are you doing here?”

You didn’t answer, still in too much shock to form your words.

You turned around and started to walk away. James ran after you and grabbed your wrist and turned you to face him. You instantly pulled your wrist out of his grip and backed away from him.

“Dearest please,” he said reaching for you.

You flinched away and pulled your arms up to cover your face. James’ heart shattered at your reaction. You were scared of him.

“Dearest, I would never hurt you. I promise.”

“But- but you killed that person. Why? Why would you do that?” you said, starting to cry.

“It’s just a hobby darling. I assure you, I would never lay a finger on you.”

No matter what he said, you didn’t believe him. You turned around and ran, not knowing where you were going. You just had to get away from him. You had to get away.

Kai Anderson

“What the fuck y/n?” Kai yelled.

He held your wrist tightly and dragged you down into the basement. You were scared, no terrified. Kai was the angriest you’ve ever seen him. You were supposed to kill someone, but backed out at the last moment. You only expected him to be disappointed, not like this.

He dragged you down the stairs and threw you to the floor. He crouched down next to you, and brought his hand near you face. You immediately flinched away, not knowing what he was going to do to you.

He laughed lowly at your reaction. You were scared of him. Perfect. Maybe now he can get you to do what he needed you to do.

He gently ran his fingers through your hair, trying to lure you into a false sense of security. And it was working. You let your guard down.

“You know, I believed in you. I thought you were strong enough to do it. But since guess I was wrong.”

He gripped your hair tightly and started dragging you over to a closet. Your eyes widened when you realized what he was doing.

“No, Kai please! I’ll do anything please!”

“You already had the chance little lamb. But maybe when I let you out, you’ll be more obedient.”

He opened the door and threw you inside. The door slammed after you, leaving you locked in darkness. Trapped, until he calmed down. Or until you died. Whichever happens first.

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.

❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜

❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜

❛ Pardon my tits. ❜

❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜

❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜

❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜

❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜

❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜

❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜

❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜

❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜

❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜

❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜

❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜

❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜

❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜

❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜

❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜

❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜

❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜

❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜

❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜

❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜

❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜

❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜

❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜

❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜

❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜

❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜

❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜

❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜

❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜

❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜

❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜

❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜

❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜

❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜

❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜

❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜

❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜

❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜

❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜

❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜

❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜

❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜

❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜

❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜

❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜

❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜

❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜

❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜

❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜

❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜

❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜

❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜

❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜

❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜

❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜

❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜

❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜

❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜

❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜

❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜

❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜

❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜

❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜

❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜

❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜

❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜

❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜

❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜

❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜

❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜

❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜

❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜

❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜

❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜

❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜

❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜

❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜

❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜

❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜

❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜

❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜

❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜

❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜

❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜

❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜

❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜

❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜

❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜

❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜

❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜

❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜

❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜

❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜

❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜

❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜

❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜

❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜

❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜

❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜

❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜

❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜

❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜

❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜

❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜

❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜

❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜

❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜

❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜

❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜

❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜

❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜

❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜

❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜

❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜

❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜

❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜

❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜

❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜

[heyheyloki]

All Because Of You

Summary: The reader goes to find Castiel before the angels get to him.

Castiel x M!Reader

Castiel being human, losing his grace, was perhaps one of the most interesting yet hardest thing you had faced yet. Forget God. Forget Lucifer. Castiel human topped all of those for a simple reason. Now, it was incredibly hard to keep down your own human feelings that had stirred up for him a long time ago, and plus, yanno, all the Angels and Demons on the hunt for this one Angel who rebelled against Heaven and all that.

It's been a few days since you left the bunker to go look for Castiel. Sure, Dean and Sam weren't happy, but you knew you couldn't wait any longer for them. It's been weeks since Castiel went on the run and sitting around doing nothing but worrying about him was not good for your mind. You needed to see him, protect him, and make sure he was safe and by your side.

It took a three days to get to Detroit, the last place anyone saw Castiel or 'Clarence', as he called himself. You got the led from a group of homeless individuals that talked to Cas before he picked up a ride in on a truck that was heading to Detroit. This was probably the hardest part of the search. Lucky for you, growing up with the Winchester boys helped when it came to this kind of situation. Still, with all your skills, it was Detriot. A large city with many people, but the people may be your advantage.

"Excuse me," you hummed out to a man who was currently making burgers on the side of the road. The only thing that led you talking to him was Castiel's vessals love for red meat. Now that he was human, Jimmy was probably talking to him a lot more now. "Have you seen a dark haired, blue hair man around here? He would have probably acted a bit out of it?"

"Uh," the man thought for a moment. "Nah, sorry, no one really comes to mind."

"It's alright, thank you." You sighed, parting from the man and getting back on the move.

You took the rest of the day nonstop looking for Castiel with no leads whatsoever. Person after person either said they didn't remember someone like that, or saw so many people that day that it was impossible to even try to remember one man. This race against the clock was getting harder and harder, and frankly, it was getting irritating. All you wished for was Castiel to be safe. He could be hungry, or homeless--but safe was all you wanted cause in the end you knew you could fix both of this issues--all of his issues-- if you just found him.

As you were deep within your mind to try and make up a new way to find the fallen angel, the rain that touched your skin shoved you back into reality. Your eyes gazed as the raindrops that wet your skin before looking up at the dark clouds that surrounded you. A deep sigh filled with worry released from your lips before taking a few steps forwards. Perhaps those few steps were all you needed. Well, that and the rain. When you took those steps you heard a noise, one that would capture almost anyone’s attention. You paused, stood still before turning your head down an ally that seemed to be behind a restaurant.

Down the dark and rainy ally was a man who wrapped himself with this black hoodie he wore. His hair was soaked, not to mention his clothes, but that freezing cold look in his eyes broke your heart beyond anything you've felt before. The darkness obscured the man's face until you took a few steps down the ally. At first you were going to offer the man some food and direct him to a nearby shelter, but the minute he quickly shot his head up to see who was approaching him, everything changed. No matter how much time apart you have from him, you can never forget his face but you noticed that the first thing to go about a person was their voice. You thought that was the saddest thing to ever exist but when you heard it call out to you of all people, remembering his voice again was like seeing him for the first time all over again.

"[Name]?" Castiel croaked out.

You didn't speak but instead nodded to confirm it was you, and not a part of his imagination.

With the weather, you didn't waste any time to get both Castiel and you some shelter. A few minutes of pretending to be someone else and using another's money got you a relatively small but sufficient apartment for the time being.

When Castiel entered the apartment was dark given the time of day, but you quickly turned on the lights after you shut and locked the front door.

"Wow, it’s beautiful." Castiel commented as he looked around.

"It's an apartment that cost a 2,000 dollar deposit, it better be beautiful." You replied as you began to lock and shut all the entrances which included the windows as well.

Castiel kept his eyes on you as you did so, but when he noticed you were finished with your task he asked, "How did you find me?"

You turned to him and placed your hands into your pockets. "Oh, yanno, all my hunter skills went into work and here I am."

"Why aren't Sam and Dean with you?" He asked curiously.

You sighed at the question before taking a seat on the sofa that was provided with the apartment. "I didn't want to wait around. They thought it was dangerous, and it probably was but I don't know, I just couldn't stand being in that bunker wondering if you’re alive or dead."

Castiel's head went down for a moment, his own human mind now spinning with thoughts he wondered if he would ever have if he was still an angel.

"I apologize for worrying you." He suddenly said in more quiet tone. "That was never my intention."

"I know." You smiled before patting down the space next to you. "Come sit and lemme see what you got there."

Castiel's head went on a tilt before he remembered the wound he had on his left upper arm he got from fighting one of the many angels that were out on the hunt for him. The former angel complied with the request, mostly because of his trust and fondness of you.

When he sat down, you turned towards him and began to unbutton his white shirt after he took off the soaked hoodie. Castiel watched your attentively as you did so. The way your hands played with his shirt and the focus that was seeped deep into your eyes as you did so. Once his shirt was open, you gazed back up and into his eyes. He watched a faint smile, a comforting one, stretched across your lips before slipping the shirt off his shoulders and exposing his entire upper body.

Your eyes shot to the bloody rage he used around his arm, mostly just to stop the bleeding. Worry of an infection took place in your mind, but luckily that didn't seem to be the case.

"Look at you," you whispered. The words catching Castiel's attention quicker than ever before. "You're lucky this isn't infected."

"I suppose so." He replied under his breath as he continued to watch you, never once looking away.

You hovered your finger over the wound that was slanted across his bicep. The fact that it hadn't healed wedging itself into your mind making you say, "You really are human."

"Yes." Castiel said. "The whole experience has been very tiring."

You laughed at that, the chuckle that came from your chest making the former angel experience something that he hasn't before. Sure, he got chills from the cold or rain, but never from a simple laugh.

Next, you began to examine the wound. Overall, it seemed to be healing fine but you really wanted to clean up the dried blood that pooled around the actual cut. So, you grabbed a cotton pad and dabbed some rubbing alcohol on the surface.

"This may sting a bit," you warned Cas before gently patting it against the wound. You watched his face scrunch up a bit as he got used to the stinging sensation. Though, in the end it seemed like he took the pain rather well.

You smiled as you placed the pad on the table next you, your hands picking up some proper bandages before commenting, "You took that better than Dean. You getting used to being human?"

"Ah, it's all new to me. Hunger. Cold." He explained, his eyes meeting yours as he said, "This feeling of being alone."

You stared at Cas for a moment. Yes, he was still the same, and yet so much about him was different. He was learning how to understand human emotions, and after all this time it just took being human to truly get it. To you, it explained how truly complex human emotions were. Something about this Cas pained you in more than words could explain, and for some reason the desire to comfort him was absolutely overwhelming.

"You aren’t alone anymore." You said. Your mind focusing on one action, and one alone. You knew it would disappear until you acted on it, so, you carefully leaned in and gave the man a gentle kiss upon his cheek. The stubble he grew while away tickling your skin. When you backed up, you gave a kind smile and said, "I won't let you be alone, I promise."

Castiel remained silent, yet his eyes remained connected with yours until something clicked in his mind and they darted right down to your soft, vulnerable lips. He would be lying if he said he never studied them before, but right now the urge he wanted to act on for so long was stronger than ever. When he noticed you doing the same, something snapped. Castiel didn't waste any time to lean in and connect his lips with yours. At first, something told him not to rush or else you'd get scared away. So, he waited for you to make the next move and when he felt your lips sensually move against his, his next move was to do the same. At first, he really had no idea how to go about kissing and all he wanted to do was to impress you in the best way he could. So, he mimicked you, but if you had your eyes open and noticed his furrowed brows, you would instinctively tell he had absolutely no idea what was going on. All he knew was that with you, it felt better than he could have ever imagined.

Exploring your body was perhaps one of the best things he had gotten to experience as a human. Everything was so overwhelming in a way that he never would have dreamed. Though, perhaps the best thing about the entire thing was that it was with you. The way your squirmed underneath him, the sounds you made when he pleasured you, not to mention the way you made him feel was something he wouldn't trade up for the world to the point where he felt almost saddened when his body tired out on you.

Both of you laid on your backs, the sheets covering up to your abdomens, with this dazed looks in your eyes. Still, with that look something in your human mind wanted him to say something. Say anything.

You turned your head to him, his gaze still aimed up. "Well? Say something."

Castiel took in a deep breath, his eyes darting around as you noticed him try to think of something until he said, "There aren't words."

You stared at him before turning on your side, your body still facing him. "So, it was okay?"

This was the time Castiel turned to make eye contact with you. His injured arm raised, the palm of his hand against the back of his head. He stared at you for a moment before saying with a small smile, "Very much so."

You smiled a bit to yourself until you noticed his face go from happy to concerned, which prompted you to get a bit more serious for him. After all, you didn't want to make him feel embarrassed.

"Um.." he mumbled out. His eyes darting down and up again in a nervous fashion as he asked, "What I did, that was, uh.. correct?"

You couldn't help a large smile to snake itself across your lips as you nodded with a soft, "Very much so."

"Good," he said with a look that mirrored yours. And the smile he shined was almost designed to make you even more infatuated with him. And that laugh after--God that laugh--hearing it was everything to you.

You stared at him for a moment before calling his name. His head turning to you as your prompted yourself up and into his chest. He couldn't exactly make eye contact with you, but just having you right next to him, especially in this state, was more than he could ask for.

"Before, my promise? I'd like to add on to it." You suddenly said. The words confusing Castiel greatly, after all, the promise you made to him before was like music to his ears. What more could you say that could make him even more of a fool for a human like you?

"You don't have to." Cas said.

"But I want to." You cut him off and took a deep breath. You turned your head a bit, snuggling into him more and giving him a soft, loving kiss on his chest before saying, "I promise to protect you. To the end of the line because you mean more than family to me."

Castiel didn't waste anytime to take his arm around you, holding you closer if that was even possible. The words you spoke probably meant more to him than anything he's heard in his life. After all, with you, it was like you changed him from the inside out in ways that he never even imagined when he first met you.

"I promise as well, [Name]."

[tatestripedsweater]

The Evan’s Dating a Trans!Male Reader

Requested By Anon: I was wondering if you could do headcanons on the Evans dating a trans man (he/him)?

Warnings: Mentions Of Transphobia, Outdated Rules, Some Angst

A/N: I am not transsexual myself but I did this to help comfort the person who requested this and anyone else out there. Be warned though, some of the characters are rather manipulative (Example: Kai) so it’s not all fluffy. Also, if I got anything wrong I’d appreciate some positive criticism or advice.

Tate Langdon

Being transgender wasn’t unpopular in the 90s, but it was certainly frowned upon.

Tate would understand what you meant when you told him, but he would keep his distance for a while.

He didn’t know how to react. Tate felt like he was going to lose you despite it still being you.

Again, Tate would make it out to be your fault he was upset.

Him making you feel it was in actual fact your fault, Tate refuses to believe he’s in the wrong.

The only time he would come out of hiding is when his mother caught sight of you. We all know how she feels about homosexuals, so the same would be for anybody who was in the LGBTQ+ community.

Even though he uses slurs towards Chad and Patrick, if anyone dares insult you, then there would be hell to pay. Literally.

But even though he defends you, Tate still feels like you shouldn’t change and tries to convince you otherwise.

Nonetheless, he would have a whinge and a whine about it, like he does with most things.

Kit Walker

Kit is very open-minded, so he would take his time to listen to you and how you felt, making sure to take in every word you said.

Obviously, back in those days it was frowned upon to be homosexual, so being transsexual was frowned upon as well. But this man would stick up for you like there’s no tomorrow.

Even though he had no experience in the transsexual community, Kit would ask you questions and try to understand more, so he could make you happy but also not accidentally offend you.

He would definitely use the right pronouns, he may slip up sometimes, but Kit would instantly apologise and run over to kiss you.

Lana would love you as well. She was pushed out for being a lesbian so, to have someone to confide in even though it was different situations, was nice for her.

If anyone made any comment on your appearance while you and Kit were out on a date, he would stick up for you undoubtedly. Even if it meant getting in a few fights and getting a black eye.

He would respect your boundaries within the bedroom, if you weren’t comfortable with sex, then that was fine but if you were, then that was also fine.

Calls you handsome on a daily basis and is proud to have you as his boyfriend, the loving look in his eyes never goes away.

Kit lets you borrow his clothes and even though this was more so for your benefit, he would get flushed in the cheeks for seeing you in them.

Overall, Kit would be the most supportive of the Evan’s along with Jimmy and Kyle. Kit loves you to the moon and back and just wants you to be happy.

Pre-Death Kyle Spencer

Honestly, he’d be cool with it. Kyle doesn’t judge and would support you in any way he can.

If you wanted surgery, he would 100% be behind your back and again support you with this decision. Kyle would be the same if you didn’t want the surgery done.

Happily posts about you online and calls you his ‘boyfriend’ and ‘one and only’. If he really wants something, then he’ll call you ‘handsome’ just to get in your good books.

He’d help you with binding and getting the right stuff as he didn’t want you to hurt yourself, Kyle even does research on the subject just to make sure he’s got it all down in his head.

He lets you talk it out to him and explain how you’re feeling, Kyle is a good listener, and he’ll always be there for you, day and night.

Franken Kyle Spencer

He didn’t understand what it meant, even after you tried to explain it to him. You were at a dead end.

But nonetheless, the only thing Kyle knew was that he loved you no matter what, and that would not change.

You had to buy him clothes because the ones he had were… Not in good condition. Kyle didn’t even notice that you started to wear clothes like his own, and often got excited when you two matched.

The guy is so overprotective of you, even when Madison uses slurs, he doesn’t understand. All he sees is red, since it upset you.

At one point, he had to be dragged from Madison after you two got into another argument where she said he was your ‘guard dog’.

But back to the point, I don’t think he’d care. You were the person he loved, the person he adored, and most of all.

The person he protected.

Jimmy Darling

Jimmy grew up around different people, so when you told him it didn’t phase him one bit. Even though you had to explain it to him in great depth to get Jimmy to understand.

Much like Kit, he would end up getting into fights sticking up for you and wouldn’t dare let anyone lay a hand on you either.

You would tell Jimmy how beautiful his hands were and how he was, he would compliment you as well but made sure to use the correct pet name.

Jimmy would be confused on the whole pronoun's aspect of it, so you would have to tell him about that as well, even though Jimmy was already referring you as he/him.

He saved up money from the show to buy you clothes that would make you feel comfortable in your own skin, when he gave them to you, he looked like a puppy dog. Hoping he did the right thing.

He did, in fact, do the right thing, and it earned Jimmy a kiss.

Ethel adores you and is happy to see her son so in love, she often teases you both whenever she sees the two of you with one another.

Private dates in a field or somewhere where no one will see you two, it wasn’t that he was ashamed he just didn’t want you getting hurt. Not to mention, Jimmy was insecure over his hands, the gloves irritated his hands.

Even though you two couldn’t get married, Jimmy still referred to you as his husband. Pure adoration would be on his face as he looked or watched you do the most mundane things.

You even surprised him by having your last name changed to ‘Darling’, which made Jimmy not only tear up, but actually cry with happiness.

James March

James did not understand transsexuality one bit, of course he knew about Liz, but that didn’t mean he got what you meant.

He is old school due to the era he grew up in, so explaining everything you felt and wanted was like teaching a toddler advanced mathematics.

It got to the point where he went to Liz to get her take on it, see it from her perspective and not just your own since he loved you and wanted to help in any way he could.

Even for a serial killer from the 20s, he started to understand little bits and pieces but was still puzzled on some parts so, you didn’t put too much information in his head all at once. One step at a time.

Once, James caught you in one of his expensive suits, and you thought he was going to shout or kill you instantly. Awaiting the fate that would come to you, he would only grin and call you a ‘handsome chap’. That wasn’t what you expected.

You honestly thought he’d be mad/confused even though almost everyone in the hotel had had to explain, yet again.

This man also doesn’t understand pronouns and once you told him, he seemed to understand that but like Kit, he would slip up a few times and corrected himself when he did so.

It would be strange for James, as he’s never been attracted to someone who would soon become male/and or look more masculine. But with you, he didn’t seem to care as there would be no one judging him as time goes on.

But, there would be days when he was so angry for the smallest reason, and you stayed out of his way as James has called you profanities that was used within his day.

James would be ashamed he even did so and would ask for your forgiveness every day, even though you said you did, there was a nagging part of you that just didn’t.

Rory Monohan

He wouldn’t give two shits about what gender you identify as, what pronouns you use. Rory would still love you, no matter what.

If the paparazzi or news online gave you any shit, he’d be first to protest and make a strongly worded comment about it.

Even going as far as contacting them himself and would demand it be taken down.

He lets you borrow his clothes and offers to pay for any surgery you might want to have, Rory would insist he pay and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

You still remember when you told him you were transsexual, he was like, ‘good for you, want some pancakes?’.

The premieres to his movies, the both of you in suits would make his fans skyrocket, you were the cutest and hottest couple of the year.

Numerous photos on Instagram of you doing mundane things. Rory also uploads videos of the two of you. Which drives his fans wild yet again.

But the TikTok videos are worse since he’s known for his pranks on you, which tend to go viral.

Pride with this man would be the most amazing time of your life, the two of you go every year.

Edward Mott

Edward was ‘different’ too. He was into male companions and kept that hidden until he moved to a more private area.

You knew he was a homosexual, so there was no chance of you two being together, even with you being trans.

So sticking to being his friend or, as he put it, ‘acquaintance’ would be enough to satisfy you.

While you both quietly read in the living area, it was rare that you disturbed him during, in fact, he didn’t like being interrupted while reading at all.

But, since you were one of the few people he could tolerate, Edward left you off with ‘warning’.

Once you told him, he was unfamiliar with the phrase ‘transsexual’ and would have you explain it to him in more depth.

Once he understood what you were saying, you managed to get a rare smile out of him, a somewhat proud one that you had told him.

“I guess we can be lovers after all.” Was the last thing he said before going back to reading.

Kai Anderson

This is Kai we’re talking about. He would use it to his advantage and ask you rather personal questions.

He most likely found out when he made you do the pinky promise with him.

Even when you told him, Kai already knew just by the way you dressed and presented yourself within the Cult.

Honestly, if you did something wrong, he would call you by the wrong pronouns and would force the others to do so as well.

Like I said, he’s an asshole.

But, if you were doing well in the Cult and following orders, then he would treat you the same as any man he knew. You weren’t certain if that was a good or bad thing.

He blatantly asks how you have sex, knowing if you back chatted to him or tried to defend yourself, then Kai would realize he hit a nerve.

Kai also asks about your dead name, how others reacted, etc. He needed to know every little detail of your life since he loves pushing your buttons.

But again, Kai just wanted to know more about you since you intrigued him.

Again, you didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

Malcolm Gallant

He would be on the fence since he loved the male appendage a little too much.

But, you two worked through it with other devices until or if you get surgery.

You two met at the salon, when Malcolm noticed your looks and what you wore were starting to change, he knew. Of course, he did.

Instead of you going to him, he went to you and sat you down. He was gentle with asking you if you were transsexual.

From then on, you two had a bond like no other. Nothing could break you two apart.

Whenever you clock in for work, the first thing you hear is ‘I wondered when the most sexiest guy would show up.’

Compliments you and gives you tips on what to wear, we all know he’s the most stylish in the salon.

If you want it, you ask him to be the one to cut your hair into a male style that would suit you. Malcolm jumped for joy and obviously said yes.

But he had something over the mirror, so you couldn’t look. He wanted it to be a surprise.

He calls what he did to your hair a ‘masterpiece’. Malcolm is the only one you trust with your hair now.

Austin Sommers

He wouldn’t care, Austin would love and fuck anyone if he got the chance too.

So, you being transsexual wasn’t a problem for him. He supported you throughout.

If you two were in public and someone made a nasty comment, they would be dead that night and drained of blood.

Would help you with clothes and what to and not wear. He had very high opinions.

Austin would show you pictures of when he was a drag queen, him saying it doesn’t matter who you are as he tried to make you feel better about yourself.

Calls you ‘handsome’ every single day and leaves it with a playful wink.

Austin wouldn’t care if you were male, female, an alien, anything going. He loves you for you, not your gender.

Peter Maximoff

This runner and track star would adore you to the moon and back.

When you came out to him, Peter cried since you trusted him, but deep down he knew something was going on.

Since there was a world full of hate for mutants, he understood why you kept it a secret, since the world would go mad over a transsexual mutant.

You explained to Peter how you felt inside, and he took mental notes, taking everything in and not missing one detail. But he made actual notes in a notepad.

He’s a dork, so Peter would most likely say ‘most handsome guy coming through’ or some shit like that when you both walk down the halls.

Kisses you all over your face when you feel insecure. He did it before, but does it even more so now.

Everyone can see how much he loves you, and it’s adorable but gross at the same time, that’s what they all say in the mansion, anyway.

He lets you borrow his deodorants and shower gels etc. Whatever you need, this boy has got you covered.

Always, always, always gives you positive encouragement in the morning or whenever you two get up.

An example would be, ‘Go show the world how amazing you are!’

American Horror Story Masterlist: Link In Pinned Post

@mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @kitsommers @mrs-march-ahs @kitwalker02 @satanscomplex @mossybank @cleanup-aisle5 @milly-louise @maria-akira @slightlyvicked @blackbat2020 @kmt123whatsthetea @peterskindacool @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @americxn @sallyscigarettes @liandavon-blog @copy-of-a-cheeto @ikkleroniekins @fictional-people-that-i-stan @latertate-r @lovegallant

@amourtentiaa @xmaximoffic @billyhxrgrove @theoriginaldoll87 @evanmybeloved @iamalosthamster

Marvel Masterlist (Peter) - Link In Pinned Post

@kitsommers @elaineygrace @satanscomplex @mossybank @blackbat2020 @peterskindacool @multiyfandomgirl40 @leyannrae @justreadingficsdontmindme @ikkleroniekins @fictional-people-that-i-stan @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess

@screamlover02 @amourtentiaa @billyhxrgrove @theoriginaldoll87

[x-childish-x]

Request Rules/Guidelines

Hello everyone! Welcome to my blog! You can call me Moll and my pronouns are she/her! Thank you so much for considering me to write your request! I kindly ask you to read through all my rules before submitting a request! Thank you once again! I look forward to writing for you!

Trigger Warning! Mentions to mental illnesses, abuse, death, etc. below. PLEASE proceed with caution!

What I Write:

🌺 One-shots

🌺 Drabbles

🌺 Headcanons*

🌺 Multi-Chapter stories* 

* I have not written headcanons yet, but I'm more than willing to try. I’m willing to write more parts to previous fics upon request, or if you'd like a new multiple part story.

What's Okay to Request: 

🌺 Fluff

🌺 Angst

🌺 AUs

🌺 NSFW*

🌺 Little-space*

🌺 Romance

🌺 Platonic

🌺 Age gaps 

🌺 Polyamorous*

🌺 LGBTQIA+*

🌺 Mental illnesses*

🌺 Major character death

* Must be 18+ to request/interact with any NSFW content, littlespace will not be written for anything sexualizing it (here’s a link to help clarify littlespace). I haven't written polyamorous before but I'm willing to try, I've never written any LGBTQIA+ fics but I am willing to try my best and learn. Please see the mental illness guidelines below.

Will NOT write: 

🌺 Non-con

🌺 Dubcon

🌺 Pedophilia

🌺 Incest

🌺 Romantic themes for underage characters* 

🌺 ABO

Absolutely will not write or tolerate any hate to a community, series, character, etc.

* If you would like an underage character aged up for romantic theme I will gladly do so, but please specify that.

Mental Illness Guidelines:

All mental illnesses will be handle with extreme care, I will let you know if I'm not comfortable, I will always include warnings, and will try to keep it as safe as possible for all my readers. If requesting a mental illness/one of the following please be respectful. 

They will not be taken lightly and will mainly be written in mention unless otherwise specified. 

Please include trigger warning in your request

🌺 Suicide

🌺 Self-harm

🌺 Eating disorders

🌺 Death of loved one

🌺 Abuse (mental, emotional, physical, sexual)

🌺 Possible other mental illness depending on the illness

Pairings I write for:

🌺 Character x reader*

🌺 Character x OC

* Please specify the gender and ethnicity of the reader (if you wish). You may choose to leave out ethnicity and it will not be specify. My default is fem!reader and no mentions to ethnicity.

Pairings I WON'T write for: 

🌺 Character x character

🌺 Real person x reader*

* EX: Chris Evans x reader

Important General Information:

🌺 I go in order with my requests!

🌺 You can request in my asks, dms, or even comments, whichever way you prefer.

🌺 You can send multiple requests! Don't be afraid, I'm happy to write for you!

🌺 Please specify the reader you'd like written (fem, male, gn reader, race too if you wish*)

🌺 I will let you know if I don't feel comfortable with your request.

🌺 Specific if you wish for platonic or any other type of relationship. I default to romantic.

🌺 Please be patient. I have a life and can't always write stories quickly in good quality. 

🌺 These rules can change at any time, if they do, I will make sure to let everyone know via reblog/separate post

🌺 Feel free to request a trope, I like the majority of them and would love to give it a shot!

🌺 I mainly write for x fem!reader but I will write x gn!reader and x male!reader*

🌺 I have two Prompt lists! One's NSFW prompts and one's a general prompt list! Feel free to use them, or not! Rules for those prompt lists are included on the prompt lists as well as my main masterlist!

* I do not have any experience with writing specific race but if requested I will do my best to improve and be inclusive. The last thing I want is to offend someone, so please (nicely) help me! I default to fem!reader and don't have much experience in gn/male!reader but I'm more than willing to try and improve!

I do my best to make my work friendly to all people (including POC) I want to be inclusive and improve my writing so that people of all ethnicities and genders can enjoy my works. I try to stray from gender specific pronouns when it's not specific but as mentioned, I default to fem!reader and always put that incase a female term slipped by. Please tell me if I'm offending or doing things that feels excluding! Help me if something triggering is not listed so my writings are safe! I want to improve and learn so everyone feels safe and represented on my blog!

Some requests may take a while! It's simply because I want every request to feel like it was worth it to you! I want to do my absolute best to put out the best possible instead of something crummy that didn't have thought put into it.

Lastly:

🌺 If you would like to request something, but still feel unsure after reading through these, please dm me or send an ask! Don't be afraid to ask if I'd be willing to write for something! I'll gladly clarify and add it to whichever list it applies to!

Ask Here!

Main Prompt list!

NSFW Prompt list!

Main Masterlist! (includes all other masterlists)

I write for a large amount of characters and I’m willing to write for more (including female characters)! If you are unsure if I will write for a character, simply ask and I will add them to my list and let you know!

🌺 I am allowed to reject any character request depending on how comfortable I feel writing for them. They are listed in no specific order, all characters on this list are ones I feel comfortable enough to write for, though others are subject to be added!

FANDOMS:

STAR WARS

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader

Poe Dameron

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kylo Ren

Finn

Han Solo

Luke Skywalker

MARVEL

Loki

Pietro Maximoff

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Thor

Clint Barton

Bucky Barnes

X-MEN

Peter Maximoff

Kurt Wagner

Warren Worthington iii

Erik Lehnsherr

Logan Howlett

Wade Wilson

Hank McCoy

Alex Summers

Scott Summers

AHS EVAN’S CHARACTER’S

Kit Walker

Kyle Spencer

Jimmy Darling

Tate Langdon

James Patrick March

SUPERNATURL

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Castiel

Jack

Crowley

[wasabito-reblogs]

here’s my entry for the konoha simps server collab :) check out the rest of the entries here or at @bakubabes-hatake’s page!

prompt: occasions

word count: 2.5k

tags&warnings: established relationship, domestic fluff, hints of spiciness at the end (nothing major)

summary: In which you and Aizawa rediscover your synergy

❤︎

There was a sudden click at the front door, following telltale sounds of a key being jimmied into the lock. Both were enough to break the still quietude and have Aizawa cracking open a bloodshot eye, his sleepy, hooded gaze darting around the room until he finally spotted the sudden intrusion.

You stood at the foyer, slipping off your work shoes, with a look of mild concern on your face. Your lips held a slight frown that looked misplaced, especially when directed at him. He knew immediately that he’d fucked up.

A damning, half-empty cup of coffee sitting innocently on top of your old Heroics in Society textbook drew your attention first, before any of the other things. In your shared living room, the state of disarray all pointed to the simple fact that your boyfriend had come home and gone straight to grading.

Aizawa coughed and sat up straighter on the sofa. Though his body moved in slow motion, his mind raced to find some logical reasoning to explain why he was, once again, neglecting his health in favor of work.

Stuck to his chest was the exam sheet he had been eye-balling before succumbing to fatigue. Even after a somewhat restful nap, Aizawa could scarcely make out what hieroglyphics Kaminari had written on his paper.

You came and leaned into the back of the chair to read over Aizawa’s shoulder. Pointing to the true and false section of the exam, you wondered aloud, “Why do the T’s and F’s look so similar? I can barely tell which is which.”

He snorted lightly with a roll of his eyes, “That’s probably the point.” He said, but considering he had just woken up, it sounded more like grumbled nonsense.

Your noncommittal hum in response was all he got before you plucked the sheet from his hands. He watched as you came around and stacked up his papers, making sure to separate graded works from the ones he had yet to look at. How many times had you caught him like this? Passed out on the living room couch with class 1A’s assignments scattered every which way.

“You really gotta take better care of yourself, Shou.”

“I know,” he tugged on your hand, bringing the back of it to his lips. “I’m sorry.”

Your gaze softened at his words and the sleepy expression on his face. It was almost too endearing. “Yeah, okay, you say that now, but I’m sure you’ll be back to it again tomorrow.”

Aizawa couldn’t even deny your claim. He was a workaholic through and through. Most of his time was spent doing some form of work, whether it be in managing his class as a U.A teacher or patrolling the city as a pro-hero.

No one understood the toll it took on him better than you. You were a quirk counselor at Ketsubutsu Academy, after all, so it was your job to make sure that both students and staff were taking care of their physical and mental health. A lot of your work tended to trickle into the home, usually in the form of fussing over your boyfriend and making sure he was taking breaks and getting proper rest.

“You’re home early,” he commented. He kept your hand in his lap to fiddle idly with your fingers. “Something happen? … You look nervous.”

Even half-asleep, Shouta was astute as ever.

“Ah, not really. There’s this thing at work tonight, but I think I might skip it.”

His brows furrowed as he considered your words, “A work thing? Tonight?”

“Yeah, just a little ceremony for the staff, no biggie.”

“Sounds important. Are you sure you don’t want to go?”

“I—” you fumbled; how could you forget this man could read you like a book? Whenever you were dodgy or evasive, he knew just where to press until you were honest with him. “It’s actually an award ceremony. I’m being honored for my work at the school.”

Aizawa smiled, showing off a row of teeth in a way that made your heart skip a beat. You nearly missed his next words.

“I’m proud of you, kitten. Seriously, you deserve the recognition.” His long fingers threaded into yours, and you felt centered in the feeling of his firm grip like you were finally on solid footing. It definitely helped ease the tension off your shoulders.

“Thanks, Shou.”

“Of course,” he nodded. “So, what time is this thing, because I’m not letting you sit at home and miss it. And before you argue, consider the logic in remaining home when you know you’re being honored for something like this.” He stood from the sofa, stretching, and then cracking his neck. “It just isn’t rational.”

“So...you’re coming with me?”

You couldn’t hold back the surprise in your voice. It seemed almost too good to be true, you and Shouta going out together and to an event, no less. Usually, it took being dragged out of the house by his coworkers for him to enjoy a Friday night off.

Not to mention, no one knew of your relationship. His friends probably had their own assumptions but no one on your end knew a thing. This would be your first public outing as a couple.

“Of course I’m coming with you.” He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You smiled, realizing it was.

❤︎

An hour later, you stood behind a seated Aizawa in the middle of your bathroom with a towel looped around your body, still dripping from your recent shower.

“You have to hold still, baby, or else it’s gonna hurt,” you mumble while adjusting your grip on the hairbrush.

He had asked you to help him out with his hair, but the task proved quite tricky. Its length and thickness gave you no other choice but to work in smaller sections, which you had no issues with. If only your fingers in Shouta’s hair didn’t put him straight to sleep again. This was the third time he’d nodded off and caused the brush to snag at his roots.

With a sigh, you attempted to run the brush gingerly through his hair once more. In the past, you’d seen pictures of your boyfriend as a child, always with his hair looking unkempt and so obviously unattended to; at least before he grew old enough to do it himself. Funnily enough, it was like you finally understood the reason why.

After a few more minutes of careful ministrations, you patted his shoulder and smiled. “All done!”

Aizawa looked up bleary-eyed, then shook his hair out and ran his fingers through it. “Nice, thank you.” He leaned over and pecked your forehead before standing to his feet. “Want me to do you?”

You snorted at the subtle implications of his words. “Go get dressed already. I can ‘do’ myself.”

“Oh, can you?”

You were tempted to play along with his little joke, but it was getting late and neither of you were dressed yet. Regrettably, you shooed him away so that you could continue to prepare on your own without him being a distraction

Following another thirty or so minutes, you dressed up and met Aizawa at the door. He had put on a crisp button up shirt and a pair of dark, tailored pants that fit him so well, you had to resist the urge to pinch his ass.

When you approached, he was standing at the mirror in the hall, tying his hair into a bun. You could tell he had given up on fussing with his tie just by the way it hung loose around his neck.

“Here, let me,” with deft fingers you undid the knot, sliding the tie off and then promptly tossed it onto the couch. You also unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt, smiling to yourself at the lidded stare Aizawa was pinning you with.

“You want me to go out like this?”

“I thought I’d let you off the hook,” you laughed. “No tie tonight.”

Closing the gap between you two, Aizawa planted a kiss at the corner of your mouth, as a silent thank you.

❤︎

From what you understood, the ceremony wasn’t supposed to be a large one, still a good bit of Ketsubutsu staff and student body were present.

Already you could tell that Aizawa was a little put off by the amount of people, especially those who kept staring at you two. Though, it just couldn’t be helped. Not many knew that either of you were in a relationship. Dressed as he was, you wouldn't be surprised if most simply didn't recognize him as the pro-hero, Eraserhead.

Even you had to admit that your boyfriend cleaned up nicely, a stark contrast from his usual ‘rolled out of bed’ appearance.

“Hey! You made it!” Emi Fukukado, otherwise known as Ms. Joke, called to you over the crowd. You were just about to go over to greet her and the others when Aizawa cleared his throat.

“I’m gonna get you a drink.” he gave your hand a light squeeze and excused himself before you could respond.

“Hey, hey!! I’m so glad you’re here.” Your coworker had waltzed over and scooped you into a tight hug.

“S-Same,” you wheezed. “Mind letting go?”

“Oh whoops!” Emi laughed sheepishly. When she finally released you, you couldn't help but notice her looking around. “Weren’t you just with someone? I didn’t get a good look but I’m positive—”

“Oh yeah,” you looked around for Aizawa but couldn’t see him anywhere “I um...didn’t come alone. I came with my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?! Since when?!!”

“Ah! Well…”

Thankfully before you could delve into explaining anything, you were saved by the proverbial bell.

Over the intercom, the principal announced for all attendees to proceed towards the auditorium where the ceremony would be held. Although you followed Emi without question, you still silently searched for Aizawa in the crowd but to no avail.

You were escorted to a seat in the front row with all the others who were also being recognized. Still you couldn’t help wondering where the hell Shouta had gone. You could barely focus during the entire opening speech, your attention having been snatched by worry. If not for Emi subtly tapping your arm, you might’ve even missed your name being called.

You stood up and walked across the stage, willing your legs to move forward. The principal shook your hand and presented to you a plaque with your name engraved in gold lettering. Several others on stage, some heroes and staff, also commended you with handshakes and warm hugs. You murmured thank yous all the way to your seat, but still you wondered about your boyfriend.

“Hey, Emi.” You said as you handed her your award. “I’ll be right back, could you watch this for me? I’m going to the washroom.”

Emi seemed a little concerned by your tone but agreed. “Got it!”

Quietly you exited the auditorium and headed in the direction of the reception hall where you’d last seen Shouta, but it was empty save for a few students milling about the snack table. You were tempted to ask if they had seen Eraserhead, but decided against it, you could find him on your own.

After about ten minutes of searching you went to one of the balconies overlooking the sports field. To your immediate surprise, there stood Aizawa, though he seemed preoccupied. There was a cell phone wedged between his ear and shoulder. He noticed you not a second later, and concluded his call quickly.

“Shou, what are you doing out here?”

He frowned. “I got caught up in a work call, I’m sorry. Has it started?”

“It’s more than started, it's almost over.”

Your boyfriend looked stunned for just a moment before he let out a sigh, “I’m really sorry I missed it kitten,” he came to loop his arms around you.

“Like I said, it was no biggie,” you mumbled.

“You okay?… You’re shaking.” he whispered, lips pressed against your hair.

“I’m fine,” you responded. “Just cold.”

At that, Aizawa pulled you closer into his chest, his arms acting as a shield against the evening chill.

Something had been on your mind since the beginning of the night. It was an intrusive thought and although you knew better than to entertain it, it was also proving to be hard to ignore. Shouta had been acting strange since arriving here. You thought it was because of the crowd but he wouldn't have missed the ceremony for something as minute as that. You breathed in his scent, slowly gathering the courage to ask what had been rattling in your brain for a while now.

“Be honest with me, Shou, are you afraid of us going public?”

You felt him stiffen and pull back slowly to see your face fully. He didn’t ask you to repeat yourself, so you knew he had heard you loud and clear.

“What makes you say that?”

You looked away from him, teeth sinking into your bottom lip, “I don’t know… it’s just a thought.”

Aizawa didn’t speak for a long while. He still held you close, almost protectively, but he remained silent like he was trying to find the right words to say.

“Yeah...I guess you could say that.” He sighed, “but it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not afraid of what people will think when they see us, far from it. But the thought of you getting hurt because of your association to me...makes me...hesitant.”

You blinked up at him. The way his jaw was set as he spoke became proof enough that he wasn’t as unaffected by things as he appeared. Always so cool and collected, and yet he was possibly the most capable of emotion. You pressed your forehead against his chest as you considered your next words.

“I get that. But that doesn't give you an excuse to run off!” You pinched his arm lightly as if it emphasized your point.

“You’re right kitten, although it was an important call.” his lips spread into a wide smile. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Hm, I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Aizawa huffed and rolled his eyes at you, then bent to capture your lips in kiss. It was heavy and comforting in a way mere words simply failed to be. And for a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in that feeling. His hand drifted lower down your back until he was nearly cupping your ass.

“Mmmm, Shou.” You pulled back, feeling the heat in your cheeks. Aizawa said nothing, instead he smirked like he had something planned. He cupped your cheek, thumb brushing away a stray lash.

“Shall we take this home?”

❤︎

(Part 2 in the works, stay tuned!!)

[pinnithin]

invited home

This started as a “haha funnie gman eat a pizza” fic and turned into a soft little story about family. 3406 words.

Remembering etiquette was, perhaps, the hardest part of this.

The “hardest part of this” changed pretty frequently — often associated with whatever he was dealing with at the time. The week that took Gordon’s hand and very nearly his life was several months behind him, but he still heard the echoes of the Resonance Cascade in little things as the days passed. He heard it in the low hum of the air conditioner in his window and the backfire of a tailpipe outside. He kept the lights on at night and heard the echoes in his sleep.

It would never really go away, he guessed.

The best he could do, dealing with the hardest part of whatever his day brought him, was to simply keep living. A clockwork routine grounded him. He did normal things like buy groceries and hike in the county foothills - sometimes alone, sometimes with Tommy. Black Mesa and all the horrors it held may have broken the two of them, but they were slowly putting the pieces of each other back together.

So it shouldn’t have surprised him when he invited him to dinner with his father, right?

They were... well, they were something. Gordon found it difficult to call Tommy his boyfriend when they’d crash landed straight from acquaintances to partners in Black Mesa. The guy was the only reason Gordon was still alive, and he felt that he’d be repaying that act of kindness for the rest of his days. That sort of unwarranted devotion wasn’t exactly grounds for a normal courtship.

But this is what people did. They bought groceries and went for walks and had dinner with family. Tommy was offering this ritual to Gordon in an attempt to ground him, just like he helped him establish his other routines. It was in his best interest to take it.

The one story adobe in Sandia Heights was far more nondescript than Gordon was expecting, fitted cozily into the neighborhood on a street named Desert Finch Lane. It was evening, and the setting sun washed the walls a soft pink. The front lawn was xeriscaped with a bed of gravel and some strategic placements of yucca and saguaro, and a straight stone path marched right up to the front door. Gordon checked his phone one more time before he exited his vehicle - this house seemed far too normal to belong to someone like Tommy’s father.

No, the address Tommy sent him matched the numbers on the mailbox. Briefly, he glanced over the rest of the conversation as he reached with a free hand to kill the ignition.

T: Only if you want to! I know the last time you spoke was kind of weird... G: its fine it was a weird day haha G: no yeah id love to though G: do i need to bring anything? T: :D T: I guess you can if you want? It’s not going to be fancy or anything - we’ll probably order takeout. T: We just like to get together every month or so to catch up and I wanted to bring you along this time! No pressure. G: oh is this like G: a family thing? T: Well, yeah. Is that okay? G: its great! just checking G: see you then

T: :) T: See you.

A smile touched his mouth. Tommy rarely asked Gordon for anything, so he knew this was important to him even if he downplayed it. Gordon wouldn’t say he was a fan of Tommy’s father, but if Tommy wanted him to smooth things over after the Black Mesa incident, well, he’d try. For him, he’d try.

He didn’t know if Tommy’s father drank, so he passed on the wine, deciding instead that one can never go wrong with garlic bread. His eyes fell to the loaf he’d picked up from Albertson’s on his way over, still warm and wrapped in a foil package in the passenger seat.  He’d done the meet-the-parents dance a few times before - a lifetime ago, it felt - but none of his partners had ever mattered this much to him, and none of their fathers had ever been gods.

Remembering etiquette, he reflected, was the hardest part of this.

He slid out of the car, taking the bread with him, and marched up to the front door. It was painted a bright turquoise with the word Bienvenidos scripted across the middle in white decal letters. This struck him as odd, because Tommy’s father didn’t seem the type to care about suburban design motifs, but he only hesitated a moment before raising a fist to rap his knuckles on the door.

Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open, and relief rolled over Gordon when he saw it was Tommy in the doorway. He was dressed in his usual button up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and he smiled like a sunrise. Gordon grinned back. He didn’t think the rush of affection that overtook him every time he laid eyes on the man would ever really fade. 

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Tommy answered, still smiling. “Come on in.”

He stepped back to allow Gordon entry, and his presence somewhat quelled Gordon’s trepidation as he crossed the threshold into Mr. Coolatta’s house. 

“I hope garlic bread is okay,” he said as Tommy shut the door behind him. His eyes caught the neat line of shoes in the entryway, and he began jimmying his sneakers off. “I wasn’t sure what we were having.”

“It’s perfect,” Tommy answered, turning from the door. He watched Gordon attempting to remove his shoes without the help of his hands with a hint of amusement. “Um, do you want me to take that?” he asked, indicating the bread.

“I’ve got it,” Gordon muttered distractedly, finally kicking off one shoe and then the other. “You didn’t grow up here, did you?”

Tommy watched the sneakers go flying down the hall, a laugh in his eyes, but he didn’t comment. “God, no,” he answered. “Dad downsized a couple years ago.” He paused, flicking a brief look around the room, before adding, “He decorated the place himself.”

Gordon followed Tommy’s gaze. It looked like a house, at a glance. There were throw pillows on the leather couch and an artificial plant rested tastefully on the coffee table. Picture frames and various ornaments adorned the mantle, functionally useless objects stuffed between photos of the Coolatta family through the years. His eyes caught a decorative globe, some pillar candles, and a geometric silver figurine before landing on a sunny portrait of a smiling child - Tommy, he guessed. A wall hanging of colorful overlapping rectangles covered the space next to the south window.

All at once, Gordon felt he was in a place that was trying very hard to be a house, without quite knowing what a house’s qualifying factors were. Aside from the photos, the only clue to the owner’s tastes was the record player against the far wall, crackling out music from a time period Gordon didn’t recognize. Something with a strange time signature and a dreamlike melody. It was possible the song was from an era that had not yet happened.

He looked back to Tommy and found him studying his face. “It’s nice,” he offered summarily.

Tommy laughed quietly through his nose. “I think he just went to the home decor section of Target and picked out some stuff he liked,” he said.

“Oh,” Gordon replied. “Y’know, now that you say it - yeah. Yeah, I can see that.” 

Tommy didn’t exactly look uncomfortable with Gordon’s presence in his father’s house, but he didn’t seem wholly relaxed either. The set of his shoulders betrayed him, as did his hands, which fidgeted at the seams of his pockets before extending to take the bread from him.

“Here, let me - we can put this in the kitchen,” he said, gesturing behind him. 

It was possible that etiquette slipped his mind as frequently as it did Gordon’s, and that made him feel a little better about the whole thing. He should have assumed as much - he and Tommy both used the skeleton of routine to prop themselves up, despite the fact that they found social rules tiresome at best. A necessary framework for people like them. Gordon allowed Tommy to take the package from his arms and followed him down the hall. 

The kitchen was a little more homey, if only for the healthy clutter of appliances on the counter. Two boxes from Dion’s Pizza sat on the island, and seeing them pulled an audible sigh of relief from Gordon.

Tommy noticed. “Yeah, we’re not - we don’t cook a lot around here,” he admitted, sliding the package of garlic bread next to the pizza.

“That makes me feel better about bringing over store bought bread,” Gordon chuckled. “Where’s uh,” he darted a glance around the room, as if the man in question would materialize if he mentioned him aloud. “Where’s your dad at, anyway?”

“Oh, he’s...” Tommy finished his sentence with a vague wave of his hand. “He’ll show up sooner or later.”

He didn’t seem concerned, as if his father disappearing to another time and place arbitrarily was something that happened a lot. It made sense - Tommy was self-sufficient to the point of being an outright loner - and Gordon guessed that Mr. Coolatta’s inhuman qualities probably didn’t lend to a very warm upbringing.

Tommy was watching him, observant as always. “He’s not really a bad person,” he said at length. “He just… he sees things differently.”

“Shit, man,” Gordon laughed and shook his head. “Sometimes I think you can read my mind.”

“Oh, I never told you?” Tommy responded, raising his eyebrows impishly. 

He didn’t seem to want to discuss his father any further, so Gordon laughed at Tommy’s joke and didn’t press it. They fell into a comfortable discussion, standing together in the kitchen and waiting on the third member of their little party. This part Gordon knew how to do - speaking with Tommy always felt like coming home, and while they were still learning things about each other, he never felt any pressure to behave in a way that wasn’t his whole, genuine self. He saw the slope of Tommy’s shoulders slowly relaxing while they talked, and felt himself mirroring him as the minutes ticked by.

Tommy’s father materialized in the time it took for Gordon to blink, one moment absent and the next present. Spooked, Gordon jumped slightly at his appearance, while Tommy uttered an unaffected and congenial, “hey, Dad.”

Mister Coolatta stood under the kitchen lights exactly how Gordon remembered him. His suit was as smooth and clean as his hair,  and he wondered if the man even thought about wearing anything else, much less owned a varied wardrobe. Tommy’s father was, in many ways, like Tommy himself. Tall and neat and watchful. Seeing them side by side, it was easier to envision them as family, and Gordon no longer wondered where Tommy picked up his carefully neutral expression from.

The man in the suit fixed his cool gaze on Gordon. “Mister Freeman,” he said. “It is, hm, good to see you again.”

Gordon extended a hand before he could lose his nerve. This was what people did. And while Tommy’s father may not necessarily be a person, that was no reason for Gordon to deny him the courtesy of a handshake.

“You too, sir,” he answered. “Happy to be here.”

Tommy’s father paused for a moment, studying Gordon’s outstretched hand with interest. “I trust the hand hasn’t been giving you trouble since your little incident?”

“Uh,” Gordon faltered only for a moment. “No. It’s been just fine.”

“Dad,” Tommy intoned quietly, passing a glance between his father and Gordon.

This spurred the man in the suit to recall etiquette, himself, and then Gordon was shaking hands with a god.

It was surprisingly normal, all things considered. His grip wasn’t quite as solid as Gordon expected, though that was less a testament to his grip strength than it was to his short-of-corporeal nature. His skin felt like something that was pretending to be skin, and it was the same temperature as the air around them. But he nodded and looked Gordon in the eye like any other man, so he guessed he’d had worse handshakes before in his life. 

Mr. Coolatta released him and angled his head to his son. “Forgive me for my lateness, I… had to take care of some things on the ah, ‘out-side,’ as it were.”

“It’s fine, Dad,”  Tommy answered, then added, “I picked up the pizza.”

His father’s eyes lit on the boxes, seemingly for the first time. “Dion’s,” he observed. “Excellent choice.”

After a short, awkward silence, Gordon blurted, “should we eat?” and Tommy sighed a grateful “yes,” before nudging his father toward the dining room.

As Gordon took a step to gather the pizzas into his arms, he felt Tommy skate his fingers delicately across the inside of his palm. 

“Thank you,” he murmured in his ear, quiet and just for him.

Gordon wasn’t sure what exactly Tommy was thanking him for, but he caught his hand before he could withdraw and gave a reassuring squeeze. He was warm and solid and alive, and it anchored him.

“We got this,” he told Tommy, smiling.

The dining room was another testament to Mr. Coolatta’s decorating tastes. Gordon was not quite successful in withholding a chuckle when he noticed a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the wall, and this earned him a gentle elbow in the ribs from his partner. Tommy was carrying a set of plates and silverware in one hand and some napkins in another.

When Gordon offered to help set the table, Tommy only shook his head mischievously, and the cutlery leapt from his hands on their own.

Right. He was dating a demigod. This was a detail Gordon often forgot about, if only for the fact that Tommy displayed his power in subtle, quiet ways that went unnoticed. Here, however, he had no such reservations.

This was a Tommy Gordon hadn’t gotten to see yet, and he caught himself staring as he set the table without even touching a plate. He handled himself with an ease he didn’t show out in public, manipulating space with a well-practiced comfort that indicated years of doing it this way. A Coolatta ritual, for Coolattas only. Gordon, an outsider, felt his nervousness slowly melt into gratitude at being invited to the table. He understood now - Tommy didn’t want Gordon here just to smooth things over with his father. He wanted to share his life with him, every jigsawed piece of it. 

Conversation was easier than anticipated. Tommy led the discussion at first, updating his father on his new job at the VLA in Socorro. Working with radios in the quiet desert, listening to the stars, seemed to suit him, and the fondness with which he recalled his nighttime shifts alone was genuine. Gordon tucked into his slice of 505 (pepperoni and green chile) and watched Mr. Coolatta’s facial expression as he absorbed the information.

The man sat perfectly still except to give acknowledging nods here and there, and his pizza remained untouched on his plate. At least, that was Gordon’s first assumption, until he realized the slice was gradually disappearing bite by bite every time he looked away. Mr. Coolatta’s face was impassive as always when Gordon gave him a questioning look, and when Tommy didn’t acknowledge the mystical pizza disappearance, he chose not to say anything about it.

“Mister Freeman,” the man in the suit said after a time, turning his swirling gaze on his guest. “It is my under-standing that you… have a new profession, as well?”

Gordon, figuring he’d picked up the “Mister Freeman” thing  from Tommy, didn’t bother to correct him. “Yeah, I’m teaching physics at NMT,” he answered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy an academic environment all that much, choosing to teach as a backup while he pursued streaming in the meantime, but he was developing a fondness for it. His students were bright individuals, and some of them were just as weird as he was, which kept his days interesting.

Gordon wasn’t one to discuss his new job at length with anyone. It felt strange, after everything he lived through, to complain about something as trivial as grading papers or writing coursework. But Mr. Coolatta was among a handful of individuals who knew exactly what happened to him during his employment at Black Mesa, so he felt what he said next was entirely understood by everyone at the table.

“It’s a nice change of pace,” he added. “Things are better.”

“Yes,” Tommy’s father answered. “I have… heard the same from Tommy. It is, good to know that the two of you are, hm, recovering well.”

His tone was one step away from apologetic, and Gordon was sure he imagined it, but he was touched by the sentiment nonetheless. Tommy smiled softly down at his plate and didn’t say anything. They were recovering well, weren’t they? Finding a place for themselves. Learning how to be human again.

Gordon wasn’t sure, at first, if it would ever be possible. The Resonance Cascade was the worst thing that ever happened to him, but… Tommy was the best thing that ever happened to him. And even with all the complicated emotions that surrounded the Coolatta family, he was happy to be here. He was happy to see that small, private smile cross Tommy’s face. 

The evening concluded with Gordon and Mr. Coolatta getting into a discussion about whether a hotdog was actually a sandwich, with Tommy joining in as moderator and rewarding imaginary points as they each went over their arguments. They wiped out the pizzas handily between the three of them. When Gordon had to excuse himself to begin the drive back to Socorro, Mr. Coolatta initiated another handshake with him. It was only a little less weird the second time. 

“I’ll walk you out to your car,” Tommy offered.

The setting sun bled a soft orange onto the neighborhood as the two of them left the house. Tommy kept his hands in his pockets, just barely brushing shoulders with Gordon as they went.

“Thank you,” he said again.

“Yeah, thanks for inviting me,” Gordon responded. “It was nice.”

They pulled to a stop next to the station wagon. “Sorry Dad’s so…” Tommy trailed off and shrugged. “Like that,” he finished.

His eyes were down, studying the sidewalk as he scuffed the sole of his shoe on the concrete. His expression was drawn, but Gordon could see from the crinkle of his eyes that he was happy with how the night turned out. 

“Hey,” Gordon said.

Tommy’s eyes flicked up to meet his. His gaze was sharp and watchful, cutting Gordon in a way he found he liked.

“Don’t feel like you need to apologize for your dad,” Gordon said. “He’s cool. And I’m… Like, I’m glad you wanted me there. I had a good time,” he rambled further, “and it’s - I haven’t been to dinner with someone in a long time, and it was just - like it was really nice to just talk about stuff with family like that.”

Tommy’s mouth split into a smile, face flushing slightly as Gordon said the word ‘family.’ “Yeah,” he agreed. “It was nice. This is - we should do this again.”

The fact that there would be a next time sent a rush of emotion into Gordon’s chest. He loved Tommy, loved how trusting he was to invite him to such a private part of his life. Certainly this was difficult for him to do, but he allowed Gordon Freeman, of all people, to cross the threshold and see inside. He was close enough to be considered family. Sheer affection made him dizzy.

Tommy’s smile was infectious, causing Gordon to grin outright. “I’ll see you back home later?” he asked.

“Mm hm,” Tommy nodded. He leaned in, but stopped short when Gordon held up a hand in protest.

“Uh,” he intoned, pointing. “Your dad is totally watching us from the window.”

Tommy glanced over his shoulder and caught the dark visage of his father beyond the glass. He rolled his eyes, still smiling, and gestured with a hand. The curtains snapped shut at his command. “No, he isn’t,” he said.

They kissed on the curb, Gordon laughing softly into Tommy’s mouth. He was home already.

[strongsassysexysloane]

Tenth Day of Twelve - A Soft Thoughtful Twist

A/N - I like this one. Maybe I'm just impressed I've kept this going lol

. . . .

This morning you'd found a beautiful knitted scarf twirled up on your desk. It was a beautiful turquoise blue with a shimmer through it. The perfect addition to your winter wardrobe and made the walk between your car and the building considerably more pleasant.

You hadn't taken it off all morning, even in the building, it was too soft and warm to leave it behind. Kasie was instantly jealous of your present when you went to the lab to get an update with Bishop. Next was a ride out to the parents house to get some background and on the way back to the yard you bribed Ellie into stopping at the Diner for a late lunch. It wasn't much of a bribe, to be fair.

"Hi Elaine." You both walked up to the counter, Elaine turned around from wiping down the counter.

"Hi ladies, what can I get your hungry bellies today?" She smiled, slipping her cloth into her apron and stepping up to the register.

"Two coffees, make that three. Gibbs will need bribing once he finds out we've stopped for food."

"Done. He was only in an hour ago but I'm sure he needs a refill." You all chuckled, it was probably his sixth of the day but that stuff didn't effect him like most. It would only make him grumpier if he didn't have his consistent flow of bean juice. "Nice scarf. Where's you get it, hun?"

This brought an instant smile to your face and your hand up to fix it more around your neck. "It was a gift."

"Someone has taste. It suits you beautifully." Elaine hummed while pouring the cups of takeaway coffee. "Now while that helps you two stay awake, what food can I get you?"

You relayed your order. Adding a few extras for the boys just in case they were extra sulky about you bringing food back. Elaine hopped out back to help them move it along while there was a lull in people.

With the extra hand, the food was ready in no time and you were back on the road to the office. Ellie fed you fries on the way while she ate her burger not so gracefully. Motor pool would have words with you one day about eating in the cars but it can't be as bad as some of the suspect's you bring back. You shuddered a the thought.

"Elaine is right you know."

"Never said she wasn't."

"What did Elaine, wait you went to the diner?!" There was the Nick whine you predicted.

Bishop handed him a box. "Here. For your whiney tone." It was his favourite.

"I don't have a- thank you, Bishop."

She shook her head. " Don't look at me." Placing a steaming cup of coffee next to Gibbs left hand. "This was y/ns shout. She had to bribe me to go to the Diner."

Gibbs hummed. "I'm sure it was hard."

Ellie rolled her eyes while the guys snickered. You placed a box of fries on Tim's desk. "All it took was the word Diner and I'm paying."

"So five seconds." Tim added with a thank you nod before munching down a bunch of fries.

Ellie shrugged, skipping over to her desk and sitting. "I only had a bagel for breakfast, packet of chilly crisps for morning tea and a juice on the way to the parents. They were super unhelpful by the way."

"Didn' expect 'em to be. They hadn't spoken to their kid in five years but still needed to check 'em out." Gibbs gulped down what looked like half of his drink.

You all worked to find a lead which was a very long afternoon but the food helped and so did your scarf. There was no appearance from Jack at all until it was going home time for some. She waltzed down the stairs all chipper to be heading home.

Ellie slumped back in her chair. "Look who's the lucky one."

"Got my work done. All reports for Dwayne's case AND the Dinnins case. I need a drink and a shower. Missing the constant party that is NOLA however." She bounced on the balls of her feet, looking from an unhappy Ellie to an unhappy you. "Nothing?"

"Nothing." You shook your head at the lack of leads but raised your head at her mention of NOLA. "You'd go partying after a long day?" You chuckled, you don't know where she got her energy.

"It's a constant party down there. It made me rethink my margarita surf bar retirement idea. Dwayne's bar has a nice vibe to it." She bopped her head along to whatever tune was playing in her head.

"Thought you missed the beach."

"I do. I miss playing more often, watching tv and knitting just doesn't cut it anymore... Might move that retirement plan up a few years." It sounded like she was joking but her eyes told another story. You heard Ellie cough not so subtly but you chose to ignore it.

"Sounds like you've got some thinking to do in that shower." You rolled your eyes at the way that sounded and the smirk that curled Jack's lips while you hand came up to fiddle with your scarf again, was it a nervous tick? Maybe this was why you didn't wear things around your neck, you seemed to fiddle with them alot.

"It's beautiful. Suits you." She commented with a smile, looking down at your scarf and back up at you with sparkling her eyes.

You tried to still the blush but it spread across your cheeks, lifting the scarf a bit to hide one cheek. The move probably made it even more obvious, you could tell by Ellie's not so quiet snicker.

"Thanks, Jack. This person has really great taste."

"And knows you well. Everything they've picked is very personal." Nick budded in and you shot him a glare for his efforts.

"Jimmy says I may have a stalker." You tried to joke it off, to get a reaction out of Jack.

She only swayed her head. "Some may see it that way."

"How do you see it?" Nick again with the prodding, you thought this was Ellie's territory. Hopefully Tim didn't bud in or worse, Gibbs.

"Not a stalker." Gibbs budded in and all eyes went to him. He did nothing, just continued to stare at his computer.

There was silence for a moment before Jack piped up. "Think y/n would've noticed a stalker by now. These gifts aren't creepy or too much. They're thoughtful and sweet."

"No photos with people heads cut out and replaced with others you mean."

"Very specific but yes." Jack confirmed and stepped forward to pick up your photo frame. "That was a fun night. One of my favorites."

"Mine too." You smiled up at her, shifting your scarf around your neck.

"Don't wear it out on your first day." She chuckled, placing the photo back down.

"I won't shower with it if that's what you're meaning." The back and forth was so easy with her.

"Might have to ask for a new one if you do that." She winked before shifting her handbag onto her shoulder more. "And on that lovely note. I'm going home to have a shower. Don't work too late everyone..." She spoke to you all but was staring at Gibbs.

"Night, Jack." You threw over the divider as she walked to the elevator. Ellie was staring at you, waiting for you to comment but you went back to work. The conversation replaying in your head, taking apart every detail. Maybe you were the creepy one but you wanted for it to be her so badly.

Only two more days and you'd hopefully find out.

. . . .

We are almost at the end. I don't know if I'm sad or relieved 😅 I want to read someone else's Christmas Jack stories...

[tamakiamajikistentacles]

Rhythm Section {Poly BakuJiro}

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! Again, something different that I tried but still the self-indulgent train keeps a-rollin’ choo choo ya’ll

Class A’s contribution to the culture festival in their first year had become the stuff of legend at UA. By the time the next culture festival was approaching, they were all but told that they would be putting on another concert for their second-year program. Another hit song by Jiro and great routine by Mina might’ve been even more successful than the first depending on who was asked.

Third year was the same but not as much of a surprise—A Band would be taking the stage for the final time as UA students. As expected it was spectacular, cheers and compliments raising up from the audience before them while they stood in awe at the reaction.

Well, she stood in awe at something different. She was in awe at the sight of Bakugo and Jiro, both sweaty but energized from the performance and looking amazing. Handsome, pretty, beautiful, attractive… all of the above on both accounts really. That night had been the one that made her realize that she had two crushes.

She was okay with crushing on both a guy and a girl—she’d known about that aspect of herself for a while but hadn’t shared it with anyone quite yet—but did it have to be on the two people in the class who were effortlessly cool in everything they did? It was like they were both trying to kill her at every turn.

Studying with Jiro? She’s twirling one earphone jack around her finger mindlessly and biting her lower lip as she concentrates on the material in front of her. The wide neck of her ripped tshirt slips down her shoulder slightly to reveal smooth skin that she just knows is as soft as it looks.

Training with Bakugo? The muscles in his arms are flexing as they practice traditional hand to hand and the smirk on his face is wild. When they finish and he lifts his tank top to wipe sweat from his face she can see every ridge of abs and has to move away before he lifts it higher and makes her stop breathing.

It was difficult having crushes on the two hottest people in the class and having zero chance with either. No one knew she liked girls (did Jiro even like girls?) and stepping in the way of becoming Number One seemed like a death sentence.

“This is hard,” she groaned, dropping her face into her arms at one of the common room tables.

Jiro laughed. “Music theory can be, even if you’re a musician. I only know it because of my parents.”

“Do you think the greats struggled with it too?” she asked as she raised her head to look at her. “Like was Jimmy Page as done with this as I am right now?”

“Ohh someone knows her classic rock icons,” she teased.

“He was just the first name that came to mind! I should’ve said Bonham instead.”

“What, you’re not into guitarists?”

“I mean I don’t think I’m not into them?” she replied. “I just prefer the rhythm section, that’s all.”

Jiro raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“Well yeah, they’re generally hotter. Bonham is case in point.”

“Any other data points to back that up?” she asked curiously.

“There’s a lot but think Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Zeppelin like I mentioned…” she trailed off as she locked eyes with the girl across from her.

Was this—was this an opening? Could she even…?

“And, you know,” she finally continued, “A Band.”

A smirk took over her lips and she tapped her pen against her notebook as she looked over her, the smirk growing every passing second.

“I think Kaminari would be a little sad to hear that,” she mused.

She shrugged. “Kaminari’s not exactly who I’m trying to impress.”

Jiro dropped her pen and crossed her arms on the table, leaning forward with interest sparkling in her eyes. She was grinning and looked like someone who couldn’t believe the luck they’d had. And the fact that she’d done that to her? Incredible.

A hand landed on Jiro’s shoulder making her jump, and when she whirled around in her chair she saw an annoyed Bakugo. His scowl deepened when Jiro tried to smile at him and from across the table she could see the muscle in his jaw jump.

“We need to talk,” he ground out through clenched teeth, squeezing her shoulder in warning. Then he let go and stomped towards the hallway to the elevators.

“Uh, sorry,” Jiro said with a blush as she began gathering her things. “I shouldn’t keep him waiting and knowing him it’s gonna be awhile. Sorry to cut this short, but can I text you later?”

“Oh, yeah, totally! I hope everything goes okay with Bakugo.”

She gave a weak smile as she stood, lifting two fingers in a wave before she went towards the elevators.

Watching her go made her frown as she too began grabbing her materials to head to her room. That was quite possibly the bravest she had ever been when talking to a crush and of course it had to be interrupted. It was likely for a good reason if it was Bakugo doing the interrupting but still.

‘At least she’ll text me later,’ she thought.

With a sigh she clutched her textbook and notes to her chest and started toward the elevators. But as she neared the corner she could make out a conversation that made her pause.

“…said I was sorry!” Jiro whispered. “She’s the one who—”

“Oh sure, blame her!” Bakugo snapped in a low voice.

Were they talking about her? Were they—was this a couple’s argument? Was she getting between them by essentially telling Jiro she was trying to impress her?

Her two crushes getting together and her inadvertently driving a wedge between them was the absolute worst-case scenario she could imagine. She was ready to faint.

“She brought it up, okay? I didn’t say ‘hey, who do you think are the hottest members of our class band? It’s totally me and Bakugo, right?’, she just said it and then it got flirty! Doesn’t it at least help to know she thinks we’re attractive?”

"That’s not—I thought we agreed that we would both be cool and not lay it on so damn thick? What happened to seeing who she likes more? You just took a fifty-meter head start and now I don't even know if she likes guys!" Bakugo hissed.

“I like both.”

They had both turned to look at her, surprised at her sudden appearance and declaration. Beneath that there was something else that she couldn’t quite place—hope?

“I… I like guys and girls. I’m bi,” she said for the first time out loud. Then, with a bite to her lip, she added, “And more specifically, I like the both of you.”

“Damn,” Jiro mumbled as Bakugo looked off to the side.

She had no idea what she was doing and was internally panicking. What was she supposed to say now? Should she say anything? Yeah, yeah she should. She had to.

“I do like you both,” she repeated softly, “but I also know you two are close. Don’t… don’t make it a competition. I don’t want to choose because you’re both amazing.”

Bakugo looked up at her, his eyes calculating. “Then don’t.”

Jiro went wide-eyed but covered it as she turned to her. “Maybe we should all talk privately. This isn’t something the class needs to hear.”

She nodded, following behind them as they made their way into the elevator.

As they stepped out on the third floor she could feel something shift between the three of them. With each step down the hall it got warmer, and she wondered if she was the only one who felt it. Bakugo’s clenched jaw and Jiro’s constant glances between them both made her think that no, it wasn’t.

It was only after they were all standing in Jiro’s room that Bakugo began to speak, his voice not as harsh as it usually was.

“You don’t need to choose,” he said again. “I like you and so does she. You like me and you like her. She and I get along just fine.”

“So by not choosing you mean…?

“I mean you can have both of us. Or neither of us. If you don’t want competition it’s an all or nothing type deal.”

She looked between him and Jiro. “You two have talked about this? And you’re both okay with it being all or nothing?”

“Yeah we uh, we’re good. Not like he and I haven’t done everything already, you know?” Jiro chuckled nervously, pulling her sleeves down over her hands.

“Okay,” she replied. “Then I’m all in.”

“Oh thank fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad,” Jiro sighed, starting towards her.

Bakugo grabbed the back of her cardigan and yanked her back to his side, glaring at her when she squirmed to try and make him let go.

“Keep your fuckin’ legs closed for five minutes,” he snapped, dropping his hand from the fabric.

She bit her lip, not sure what was going to happen now that the decision had been made. Plus she was a little disappointed; she wanted to kiss Jiro too.

“Listen, we gotta get some shit straight first alright?” Bakugo said. “This ain’t exactly the norm, so if we gotta start small, we do. First thing’s first, do you want us both at the same time or are we workin’ up to that?”

That had been the shift: sexual tension. And yeah, she definitely wasn’t the only one who felt it judging by the subtle tensing of Jiro’s thighs and the not at all subtle outline in Bakugo’s pants.

“Same time is what I want. I’ve… never done it with two people before and I’ve never been with another girl but I want you. Both of you.”

He nodded. “You been tested? You on anything?”

“Work study tests us all for literally everything imaginable each month so yeah, three weeks ago and I’m good,” she said, her skin hot. “I’m on the pill but I would really prefer you use a condom too.”

“Same,” Jiro offered with a smile. “On both accounts.”

“Tested last week and I’m good too,” Bakugo said. “Hard no’s for this first time?”

“Grabbing is the only thing that happens to my ass and if anyone hits me they’re losing whatever limb made contact.”

“No problem,” he shrugged.

Jiro laughed. “I think that tonight we keep it tame, yeah?”

With a smirk on his face Bakugo stepped out of his slippers and came towards her, laying a hand on her waist before stepping around her and pressing himself against her back. “Tame as a threesome can be.”

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and she shivered, closing her eyes for just a moment. When she opened them, Jiro was in front of her.

Smiling, she brought her hands up to cup her face and kissed her. Lips pressed against the side of her neck too and she realized that stepping around that corner on the first floor was the best decision she could’ve made. If she hadn’t she wouldn’t be enjoying the two sets of hands slowly roaming her body or the two tongues that were sliding past her lips and tracing a reddening mark on her jaw.

Her shirt was gently pushed up and bunched around her stomach as large, warm palms slid across her skin and tried pulling her slightly away from Jiro, but her grip on her hips held her steady enough to not break the kiss. The hands dragged up to cup her ribs just below her bra and Bakugo rolled his hips into her from behind, making her gasp into her kiss with Jiro.

She smiled, eyes half lidded as her fingertips brushed against her cheek. “We’re gonna make you feel so good.”

“Wanna make you two feel good too,” she murmured, feeling the bites to her neck pause.

“Y’already are, just let us have our fun,” he mumbled before pushing her top up over her head and dropping it to the side. He pulled his own shirt off quickly and let his hands roam the newly bared skin of her back.

Shakily, she reached forward to tug at the hem of Jiro’s cardigan, receiving a smile and an easy shrug to remove it. A moment later the undershirt followed and she pulled her into a kiss again as the hands at her back lightly snapped the band of her bra.

She jumped, breaking the kiss. “Bakugo!”

“Tch, pretty sure we can go for given names now, right Kyoka?”

“Katsuki’s right,” she giggled, kissing her once more.

She felt overwhelmed in the best way. She was on a first name basis with both of her crushes and was between the two of them, holding Kyoka close and kissing her with everything she had while Katsuki ground himself against her and unclipped her bra.

With more gentleness than she expected, he guided the straps down her arms and lightly tugged her arms from around Kyoka so the loosened fabric could fall to the side. Kyoka took that time to step back to undo and shed her own which allowed Katsuki to spin her around to face him for the first time. He smirked, fingers gliding up her sides until he was able to cup her chest in large palms.

She cradled his jaw and brought him forward to press her lips against his, surprised at the lack of roughness she’d expected when he kissed back. Was it testing the waters or savoring the first taste? She was willing to bet both.

Cool hands smoothed over her back and slow, careful kisses trailed down her spine. The drag of lips against the curve of her lower back made her shiver and the nudge of fingertips just below her waistband made her heart race even more. Fabric slid down her legs to leave her completely bare and she felt her face heat up, self-conscious of being the only one, until a moment later she heard the soft sound of clothing hitting the floor behind her and felt bare skin against her back.

Breaking apart from Katsuki to breathe she leaned forward to press open mouthed kisses to his collarbone, the definition like he had been chiseled from stone. Her hands fell to his hips and hooked her fingers into his sweats and underwear, tugging them down to pool at his feet. She traced over the ridges of muscle across his stomach as she continued kissing up his neck, careful not to leave marks where his costume couldn’t cover.

She felt Kyoka rest her chin on her shoulder, then a brush against her arm and a twist of muscle beneath her lips. When she glanced up she saw her kissing Katsuki, one hand on his cheek to keep him turned towards her. One hand dropped from her chest and moved behind her, knuckles at her back and a soft gasp coming from Kyoka making it obvious where it had gone.

Then the hand still on her chest slowly slid down her body before settling between her legs and the hand at her back returned to her hip. Cooler hands would around her to cup her chest, a shudder running through her at the temperature but her fingers traced down the sculped stomach in front of her.

Two fingers pressed into her as she wrapped her hand around Katsuki, a soft gasp escaping her and a low groan coming from him. Kyoka’s light laughter followed and she began pressing kisses across her shoulders, mouth free from Katsuki’s head tipping back as more groans were drawn out from the slow stokes.

She bit her lip as the fingers between her legs curled perfectly and his thumb drew firm circles on her clit.

“Good with his fingers, right?” Kyoka whispered.

She could only nod with a whimper as she felt her thighs tense. Her strokes grew faster and she rocked her hips forward slightly to chase the feeling, her back arching at the two pairs of hands treating her so well.

She whined loudly as the fingers between her legs withdrew and the solid warmth disappeared from in front of her, but she couldn’t dwell on it as she was turned around once again and pressed against Kyoka. Their lips found one another’s easily and she felt those cool hands on her cheeks, her own fingertips tracing the soft skin of the curves of her chest and stomach. Even with inexperienced nerves tingling in the back of her mind she ventured lower to the apex of pale of thighs and reveled in the pleased hum into her mouth. Knowing what she liked for herself she rubbed familiar patterns and curled her fingers just so to keep the noises flowing, swallowing them proudly as they grew louder.

“I like how you sound,” she murmured breathily as they broke apart and dark hair tickled her chest as Kyoka rested her forehead against her shoulder with a gasp.

“And I like the view,” Katsuki chuckled from behind her, the crinkling of foil lost to the low timbre.

Hands came around to cup her chest from behind once again and those lips were back on her neck, the rhythm of her fingers stuttering slightly at the sensations.

“Let… let me show you what I’m good at,” Kyoka panted, kissing her cheek before pulling back. Their eyes stayed locked as she kneeled down, her palms gently widening her stance to make room between her thighs, and it was only at the first brush of her tongue on her clit did she close her eyes.

Her fingers dropped to thread through the dark hair that was just as silky as she’d always imagined, tightening slightly as fingertips trailed closer to where her lips and tongue were working her closer to cumming faster than she could comprehend. The teeth scraping against her neck and jaw gave just the right amount of pain to combine with that pleasure and her legs started to shake from the effort of standing.

Katsuki noticed immediately, the mark he’d been working on abandoned as he ordered, “Bed, Kyoka.”

The hum of agreement between her thighs nearly sent her over the edge right then, but the promise of experiencing even more was too alluring to succumb to it so soon and she let herself be guided to the bed on weak legs by her two partners. It was a bit difficult for the three of them to lie together in the small dorm bed but they managed to arrange themselves well enough to be comfortable and continue.

She was one more kissing Kyoka as they laid on their sides facing one another and Katsuki’s chest was pressed against her back, smooth latex brushing against the back of her thigh. Familiar rough hands parted her thighs, lifting one leg slightly, and she felt him move against her to position himself before rolling his hips forward.

A soft moan escaped her as her hand trailed down the soft skin in front of her, the fullness she felt something she wanted to share at least somewhat with Kyoka. She traced her tongue along her bottom lip as she pressed two fingers into her and began to draw firm circles on her clit, her pattern hesitant and uneven as Katsuki started to move. It took a few moments for them to sink into a rhythm that suited all of them but once they did it felt like everything had fallen into place.

Deep groans vibrated against her shoulders as he mouthed more bites along her back, the sting of his teeth and the soft pinches to her nipples from Kyoka giving her more sensations than she could comprehend. She had to break the kiss to rest her head against her collarbone, panting breaths making her chest heave and muscles clench as their newfound rhythm amongst the three of them sped up.

“That’s it,” Katsuki mumbled, his fingers ghosting over her hip to find a place on her clit.

One hand left her chest and a whisper of, “Katsuki,” over her shoulder let her know exactly what happened next when he shifted higher and so did Kyoka, her chest now directly in front of her. She took advantage, curling her fingers just so and laving her tongue over her left nipple; her free hand came up to knead and pinch her right.

Katsuki dutifully swallowed her moans but the trio each silently hoped that the rest of the class were still in the common room because there was no possible way for them to hold back the gratified sounds. As their rhythm grew steadily faster and the muscles coiled even tighter the louder they were surely becoming.

It was Kyoka who came first, tossing her head back and cupping the back of her neck to keep her to her chest, her hips rocking into her hand as she rode out the pleasure with breathy moans.

“Fuck!” Katsuki grunted, his fingers adding more pressure to her clit to bring her over the edge just before he himself toppled over, the tightness around him almost unbearable with how amazing it felt as he ground his hips into hers as they came.

The three of them collapsed into one another breathing heavily and weakly clinging to each other, willing their heartbeats to slow and their pleasure to linger. Easy kisses were shared between them and fingertips traced sweat-damp skin as they laid together for a few peaceful moments.

Kyoka nudged both her and Katsuki. “We gotta clean up.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, getting to his feet and helping them both up and into Kyoka’s bathroom.

Within ten minutes they were semi-dressed and piled back in the bed with Kyoka spooning her and her head on Katsuki’s chest. Fingers tangled in hair and lips pressed to exposed skin let that bliss continue in a sweet way as they laid with one another.

She giggled, thinking back to hours before in the common room when she wasn’t sure what was going to happen in regard to her crushes yet here she was cuddled between them after what was most definitely the most pleasurable night of her life.

“Oi, the hell you laughin’ at?”

“Yeah, no secrets between boyfriends and girlfriends,” Kyoka teased.

She smiled. “Just thinking about how this morning I had crushes on the two hottest people in the class and now I’m dating them.”

“Weird how that shit works out sometimes but I can’t complain when I got the two hottest girls in the class,” Katsuki smirked.

“I’m with you, babe,” Kyoka said with a kiss to her cheek. “I’m just excited I got the drummer and the groupie.”

Damn, she was lucky.

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! So yeah I love rhythm section members irl and no I’ve never written a threesome before, why do you ask?

[sanchosammy]

You’re My Person - Chapter Two

Word Count: 3980 - Chapter Two.

If you have any feedback, let me know! Much love to everyone who has been supporting chapter one. You’ve made my week!!

You loved working at the station so far. Nearly every morning for the past three weeks you walked through the doors full of happiness. It was only your second month living in Colorado Springs again but this had become your new comfortable in life.

Things just felt right in this job… in this town.

Not to mention you could say you had friends in town now. Well, kind of. It wasn’t the type of friends you had planned on making. Friends, nonetheless. For some reason the stubborn detectives found you tolerable to be around. It was never for perverted reasons, which you were thankful for. It would have been a ruined experienced for you considering you were a woman in a male dominated workplace. The group of grumps just liked you though and you found them humorous to be around.

Well, most of them liked you.

A particular detective would still avoid you as if you had the plague. That was Flip Zimmerman, of course. He did everything in his power to pretend you didn’t exist. You tried to find a chance to speak with him about everything; an attempt to bring some sort of truce between the two of you and find out why he hated you so much. That never worked out considering Flip refused to be alone in the same room with you.

The most you could get out of him was a few chuckles from his desk when he overheard a conversation between you and Ron. A slip up from his usual resentment filled attitude towards you. It was only this week that he stopped tensing up every time you walked into the room.

You leaned in the doorway with a smile. Jimmy, Flip and Ron grouped around a desk talking amongst themselves about something. Most likely about some case you assumed. You were meant to leave work a lot earlier as you should have been home by now, but tonight a coworker stopped you for conversation and it carried on a lot longer than you thought it would.

“Hey guys, I’m heading out. I’ll see you Monday.” You said while smiling at them.

This wasn’t an everyday thing but sometimes you found some sort of comfort in knowing there was someone you could say hello and goodbye to. Even if that happened to be your colleagues. The reality of living in Colorado Springs was not all roses and daises. This new lifestyle was nearly everything you wanted it to be but the fact is that nobody was waiting for you at home. That happened to be the only part that made you feel unsettled at the end of the day.

Jimmy smiled back with a brief wave before he returned back to studying the paper on the desk. Ron looked over as well and called back “Drive home safe, alright?”

You noticed how Flip watched the interaction wordlessly. A part of you hoped he would at least mumble some sort of goodbye but he remained silent throughout the interaction. You forced a smile as you turned around to leave. It was starting to become emotionally draining the longer he hated you. It was easy to not think about him when you lived somewhere else but this routine of having to see him physically loathe your presence each day was becoming more hurtful the longer it went on. You would’ve been understanding if he hadn’t felt anything when he saw you but this constant anger was kind of intense to deal with.

The air had already become bitter from the cold and it was only the beginning of fall. You could see your breath in front of you from the cold as you hurried into the car. The rides home had become such a bittersweet thing for you lately. It was calming after a long day at work but it still continued to bring forward that lonesome feeling inside.

Warm air blew out from the vent as the radio played softly keeping you distracted from the silence of the streets. The headlights illumining a soft light on the stretch of road ahead of you. This area of the ride home bothered you; it was a random stretch of nothing but trees until you hit the next neighborhood a mile away. You hummed with the soft music before a weird sound from the car cut you off.

And then another.

And another.

And then the car turned off completely as it began rolling to a complete stop. You pulled onto the side of the road immediately.

“Shit.” The only word that came to your mind was screamed out in frustration. You blinked looking at the now brightly lit gas-pump symbol mocking you from the dashboard.

You stepped out of the car and slammed the door out of anger. That anger mainly directed at yourself and now the poor car who had been starved thanks to your stupidity. You looked in both directions of the road trying to collect your thoughts. The closest gas station would be ten minutes away by car… Which wasn’t very helpful considering you didn’t have anything to put the gas in.

You let out a sigh while pressing your forehead against the cool metal of the door. The only answer coming to mind was to start walking in the direction of the store. At least it would have a phonebooth to call someone. And so, you started walking.

 A few minutes passed and the chilled weather was starting to make the tip of your nose burn. Headlights nearing you became a distraction on the otherwise empty and quiet road. An old truck slowed down as you became visible in the light and it eventually slowed to a stop next to you. You practically broke out a nervous sweat and swallowed hard trying to not seem freaked out.

The passenger window rolled down and you sucked in a breath.

“Flip?” His name coming out shaky as you said it. A mix between the cold and how surprised you were to see him out here.

“What are you doing out here?” His tone coming off harsh as he asked the question. His eyebrows scrunched together as he looked around the area for a hint to what you would be doing walking around at night.

“My car broke down… I ran out of gas.” You spoke up as you walked up to the window. The warmth from his truck felt heavenly.

He only briefly had taken in your appearance before speaking.

“Get in the truck, (Y/N).”  

The way he said it caught you off guard… It was as if there was no room for argument. No chance for you to say no. You paused for a brief second before pulling the door open. It was too cold out here to be stubborn. You didn’t care if he sounded that way at this point, you just didn’t want to walk any further in the dark. A small thank you came out as you practically jumped into the truck.

“Are you alright? Jesus, you’re fucking shaking.” He looked over you and it was the first time you’ve seen him so concerned about anything since you started working at the station. He turned the heat on a little higher. You hadn’t even replied yet as he did so.

“I’m fine, really. I was trying to find a phonebooth so I could call a tow truck or something.” You explained wrapping your jacket around you a little tighter. You looked over and the two of you made eye contact.

He had his red flannel on… something you really liked about him. He always looked so handsome at work in his plaid shirts. You only saw Flip from a distance because of how hard he made sure to keep away from you. Now being face to face with him, it made you grasp how attractive he really was. With you sitting in his truck across from him, you could even smell a soft presence of his cologne and it made your heartbeat faster in response.

“Fine? Your teeth are chattering.”

You snapped out of your thoughts and returned to the moment. You didn’t even notice the slight chatter until now. You tried to brush it off with a sheepish smile before continuing “I’m okay, I swear! I just…Would you be willing to drop me off at the gas station up the road, please?”

You sounded almost remorseful when you asked. You did feel guilt to some extent if you were being honest. He did everything in his ability to not speak with you and now he would be forced in a situation to drive you. And of course, you knew he’d do it purely out of his humanity rather than his feelings for you as a person.

He turned into his seat facing the steering wheel in front of him and his jaw tensed. He remained quiet without looking at you, seeming to be thinking it over intensely. Letting out a long-held breath before nodding more to himself than to you.

“I’ll just take you to get the gas… I have a container in the bed of the truck.” He wouldn’t look at you when he said it. His voice sounded forced and almost unsure if he wanted to let the words leave his lips.

Your voice coming out nearly a whisper from nerves. “Are you sure, I don’t mind waiting for a tow truck…”

He shook his head as he shifted the truck into drive. There were a few moments of silence from him as he picked up speed before deciding to finally speak up.  “I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone at night.”

“That’s what makes you such a good man.” You commented. You don’t know why you said it. An understanding that you knew he was only doing this because it was the right thing to do?

The rest of the ride to the gas station was filled with an uncomfortable silence. He seemed uneasy by your presence in his truck. You didn’t understand why completely but you tried to seem casual throughout the ride. When you arrived at the pump, he stopped you as you started to open the truck door.

“Just stay in the truck.” You blinked before shuffling to pull out cash from your pocket but he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I got it.”

Why was Flip being so polite… Awkward but polite, nonetheless. It confused you because he didn’t need to help you more than a ride here but he did. I mean, he didn’t seem fully happy about it but he didn’t leave you at the store.

You watched him as he pumped gas. His face showed how drained he seemed as the cold wind gently brushed his hair around. He looked tired and ready to be home… That thought floating in the back of your mind, who was at home waiting for him? Would they notice he wasn’t home at a usual time?

Anxiety rushed through you as a new realization hit. This was most likely the only time Flip would even speak to you. It was the only time he has even spoken to you in the past three weeks. It was wrong to use his generosity this way by cornering him but it was the only opportunity you had to force a conversation with him about his attitude towards you.

The ten-minute car ride you had left was going to have to be enough. You couldn’t let this chance slip away. You needed some sort of answer… Fuck, you just needed him to acknowledge you. There was a weird emptiness consuming you without him in your life. He was so close and yet always out of grasp. You wanted that childhood Philip back.

He slid back into his seat and pulled back out onto the road. He seemed a little less tense than before, one hand now on the wheel that he was no longer holding onto like it was his lifeline. You cleared your throat and attempted to get the conversation going. Start small, work your way up.

“I guess you’ll have to apologize to your wife for me. I’m sorry for making you get home so late.”

He raised an eyebrow from confusion but his eyes remained on the road ahead. He just mumbled back in that deep voice “I’m not married.”

“Girlfriend?” You asked almost too quickly.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Dog?”

That earned the softest of a chuckle out of him before a quiet no. You had butterflies at your ability to make him laugh even if it was a small one. You hated to admit how happy you felt knowing he was single. As if you had a chance though, the man treated you like a criminal.

“What about you? You don’t have someone worried sick that you’re not home yet?” He asked with an unsure voice and that shocked you. Flip was actually making conversation.

“Nah, nobody is waiting for me. I just moved back to town two months ago… My uncle Tommy left his place to me.”

“I’m sorry about Tommy, by the way.” He replied in a soft voice. The sympathy made you emotional and you forcibly held back some tears at the thought of your uncle.

“Thanks…”

You paused to calm down and simply collect your thoughts. You didn’t have time to cry in his truck. “So… I never pictured you being a detective. What’s that about?”

He looked over at you for a second before his eyes trailed back to the road again. He chewed on the side of his cheek as he thought about it for a moment. He was withdrawing again; you could feel it.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I like it.”

This was the wrong time to bring up the problem at hand but you knew deep down that he may never speak to you again anyway, and so you had to take that step now. You didn’t want to beat around the bush, you wanted an answer from him.

“Hey, I was actually hoping to talk to you…”

“Shoot.” He said without a second thought.

“I noticed that you don’t seem to like having me around at the station. Frankly, you seem to downright hate me. I don’t know what I did to make you this upset but I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’d hate for work to be this weird for us forever, you know?”

His hand tightened against the steering wheel and his knuckle practically turned white this time. It seemed to be a regular occurrence with him when he’s bothered. He let out a forced bitter laugh to himself. Not the reaction you hoped for.

“What?” You asked dumbfounded.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” He snapped at you in response.

“No, I want to talk about this Philip.”

“Have you considered that maybe I don’t want to talk about, (Y/N)?” He snapped again and his bitterness flowed back through his words and tone. His face twisting with irritation as he tried to focus on driving as if this conversation wasn’t happening.  

“Well, I do! You’re the one walking around the station with a stick up your ass all the time. At least I’m being an adult about this and trying to make amends. Which I would say is pretty mature considering I haven’t done anything to you.”

You knew this wasn’t the correct way to go about things. You planned for this conversation to be calm and talked through with understanding and respect for each other… However, all that went out of your mind the moment you heard that same attitude he would have when you were kids. It only brought out your own.

His eyebrows shot up as he scoffed at you, looking over for a moment to see if you were serious or not.  “Never done anything to me? That right there is your problem, (Y/N). You never took any sort of accountability for what you did to me.”

“What did I fucking do to you, Zimmerman? I would love an explanation as to why you’re such an asshole to me lately.”

“Because you fucking left me!” He screamed and it practically stunned you speechless. He didn’t care though. You opened up something that he tried for years to keep concealed, all his grief and anger from the situation finally releasing itself. The mental torture that you had put him through was finally being placed on display. “You left me. No warning, no phone call, no letter. Nothing. I thought you would come back but then you didn’t. I waited for you like a fucking idiot.” He slammed his hand against the dashboard at the last sentence, a reaction from the sudden hit of adrenaline and rush of emotion. He continued on, his voice still incredibly loud in the truck “And then I was convinced you had died! There was even a fucking rumor in school that you and your family died in a car crash and that’s why everyone in your house disappeared. I mean I had to hear about that for three fucking years.”

“I’m… I didn’t know, okay?” your voice was soft and you stuttered through the words. “This wasn’t all on me! I had no idea it was going to happen. Dad packed everything while I was at school that day and… I don’t know, Flip. I think he tried to skip town because he owed more than he could pay off.”

The truck had become deathly quiet for a minute. You didn’t know what to say and you felt left in a state of shock by his outburst. He was right though. Looking back on everything, that must have been awful to deal with… someone disappearing without a trace. It was fair to say you never had a choice over the situation, your father having removed all connection from Colorado Springs. You knew he couldn’t keep a job and later heard rumors that he was constantly asking for loans from local friends. Friends he never saw again after he left town.

You tried to keep in the tears and forced yourself not to sniffle. You couldn’t handle being seen as the same crybaby you were considered during your childhood arguments with Flip. Clearing your throat and attempting to speak without your voice cracking, which didn’t really work out. “When we moved, I was devasted… I was just as heartbroken. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you, I know it doesn’t seem like that but I promise I would’ve given you the world if you asked me… God, I’m so sorry Philip.”

Flip slowed down and pulled over near your car. You looked over at him wondering what was going on through his mind. Flip didn’t move hardly and he refused to look at you. His eyes closed and his body remained tense. The only thing noticeable being his chest rising with heavy breathes.

You didn’t know what he was thinking. He had finally got something off his chest that he was holding onto for several years. You imagined this was his closure; that he could finally move on from the past and open up a new chapter. With a heavy exhale you decided to not force him to say anything.

“Listen… I understand now. You won’t have to speak with me again outside of the job…. Thanks for the ride, Flip.” You practically whispered. It wasn’t bitter or cruel when you said it but sincere. You don’t blame him for not wanting to see your face. You wouldn’t want to see you every day if you were in his position.

You pushed the truck door open and the cold air hit your harder this time. The fresh tears on your face felt warm because of it. You couldn’t help but shiver slightly from a mix of adrenaline and stepping out of the warm truck. Lifting the gas container from the back of his truck was surprisingly a lot heavier than you expected and you attempted to not show that.  

The truck door opened forcefully before it was slammed out of presumed anger. The sound of the metal clicking together was full of intense emotion. A part of you grimaced from the sound alone. He probably noticed you having trouble with the container and felt obligated to help you, and that bothered you intensely.

You turned around ready to turn down his offer and tell him you have it under control before you stopped in your tracks. He was storming around the car and you didn’t know what this meant for you. He hardly stopped in front of you as he didn’t hesitate to cup your face with his warm hands bringing you into a kiss. Full of passion and lost time between the two of you. He didn’t hold back as you stumbled backwards into the side of his truck, which he practically pushed you against with his own body.

He was the one to pull away after a moment and it left the both of you breathing heavily. He didn’t say anything about the conversation, the kiss, or anything at all. You watched as he picked up the gas container and poured it in the car for you silently. You didn’t want to say anything though. Nearly numb and high from the feeling of his kiss; you couldn’t think any further about what this meant right now so instead you watched him pour the gas.

 He finished and placed the container into the bed of the truck. You watched him closely as he stepped closer to you and you don’t know why but he slowly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. His chin resting on the top of your head, much like he would do when you were teenagers. The memory of him teasing you about the height difference resurfacing from the action and you couldn’t help but smile from the feeling of doing this again.

Flip was warm and he smelled like a mix of men’s cologne and cigarettes. You liked it, honestly. His arms wrapped around you made you feel secure and it was the first time in a while that you felt this way. A fear was already settling in that this could be the last time and it scared the shit out of you. It was too soon to even ask him to not let this be the last time he holds you this way… Did he even forgive you for everything? Was this his way of showing forgiveness?

He pulled away without any rush before pulling you by your hand to the car door. He opened it and held it ready for you. You slipped into the driver’s seat of your car and finally looked at him. This whole thing feeling unreal and somewhat like a fever dream. He seemed unsure of what he wanted to say and so instead he leaned down slightly.

“Get home safe, okay?”

“You too, Flip…” You whispered back. He smiled softly looking over your face for a moment. Like this was the first time he had truly looked at you since you came back. Then shutting the door and standing there waiting. He didn’t return to his truck until you pulled back onto the road; you could see him watching you from the rearview mirror as you slowly pulled off.

You didn’t know what this meant for the two of you. Was this an accident from him? An attempt at finding some sort of peace from the past?

You hoped he would continue whatever that was. You’d never been kissed like that in your life. You’ve never felt any sort of spark between you and another person like that, and you honestly craved more of him.

Work was going to be weird Monday.

[heyo-silver]

Happy Birthday Indeed- Oscar Issac

Oscar Issac X Actress! Reader 

Summary: When two stars get together sometimes it’s hard, you miss dates and birthdays, and you’ve done it before but this time it hurt Oscar just a little more. But you have to keep a smile on your face when you’re being interviewed and viewed by millions. 

A/N: This is for the amazing @my-name-is-alice-ayers​ who requested this amazing imagine.

Oscar looked at himself in the mirror. Wow, was he getting old? I mean, 41 that’s when people start pointing out your age everywhere. 

She always said to never worry about it. That’s what she told him earlier when they were on the phone.

She was in Atlanta, she has been for the past few months. Filming for her new movies with Benedict Cumberbatch. A project that she had started jumping at when she found out she was accepted for the role. He remembered the huge smile on her face as she was jumping around like a child who found out they were going to Disneyland. He hugged her tight and swung her around in excitement, this was her dream, and there she was living it. In Atlanta, and on the other side of the country. 

It made him sad, but only for a minute. She was always there for his birthday, in the four years that they had been dating she never missed it once. He remembered last year when he was filming out in the middle of nowhere, for the new Star Wars movie of course, and she had packed a bag and hauled herself hundreds of miles just to throw him a party surrounded by his friends. She was always extra like that. But Oscar liked that about her. But this year it just wasn’t the same. 

Being the main character in a movie was hard, he knew that, but that also made it so she couldn’t get away from set, even for his birthday. Which he understood, he had done it to her one year, even though it snapped his little love-struck heart in two. She always said that it was fine, and that he had to do what he had to do, so he had tried to give her the same treatment. 

“It’s fine love, I know what it’s like!” He put a little chuckle at the end to try and ease her emotional burden. 

“That doesn’t make it any easier Oscar! I just feel really horrible....” You whispered on the other end of the line. He could hear your small sigh, he felt his heart drop in your chest. 

“Don’t feel that way.” He took a small pause, a smile slowly seeping on his lips, “You’ll just have to make it up to me when I see you next.” He heard you chuckle. 

“Sounds like a deal, Mr. Issac.” 

“It better.”

He straightened his bowtie again and ran his hand through his hair once more to try and smooth it back. He took a deep breath in and then out to try and calm himself down. 

A knock on the dressing room door drew him out of his state. 

“You can come on in!” He spoke. A small young woman poked her head through the door. She had her hair pulled back a headset resting on top of her head. 

“We’re ready for you to head to stage right whenever you are.” She spoke in a tone that made her feel soft yet authoritative. 

Oscar smiled and spoke: “Thanks, I’ll head over right now.” He put a smile on his face, something that he had gotten use to. She nodded and closed the door behind her. Oscar glanced at himself in the mirror one more time just to make sure he looked well. She had told him earlier on the phone that she would be watching from her trailer, so he made sure that he wore her favorite bowtie because he was thinking that maybe, making her smile would ease her burden a little more. A ping on the dresser alerted him. 

‘Good luck Mr. Birthday boy! I love you to the moon and back mon amour!’ He smiled down at the screen. He started typing. 

‘I love you too mi amor! Just a text from you has lightened my night! Promise you’re going to watch me brag about you?’ He sent the message and only had to wait a few seconds for a response. 

‘Promise. xx’ He smiled and set his phone back down on the dresser. 

He took a deep breath in and turned and lifted himself off the chair. Smoothing his hair one more time he opened the dressing room door. There was a stage assistant standing right outside the door and gave him a big smile when he made eye contact. 

"Are you ready Mr. Issac?" She asked, pulling her clipboard a little closer to her chest. 

"Absolutely! Please, lead the way!" He smiled when talking to her, hoping to put a little more happiness in his heart before he went on stage.

 "Oscar Issac!" Oscar pushed himself on stage with a smile and a wave. The crowd cheering seemed to lighten his mood, just a little. He walked up to Jimmy and shook his hand before taking a seat in the comfortable chairs next to him. As the crowd died down they began a conversation. 

Jimmy asked s few questions about Star Wars, trying to get spoilers out of him like always. They both cracked jokes in between and in those moments Oscar seemed good, he felt happy. Every time he looked into the crowd he didn't see you. He tried to not let it get him down too much. He didn't even know why it was bothering him so much, it didn't in the past. He kept smiling though, know that she was watching. 

"So, at D23 we got a sneak peek at Marvel's plans for the future and your girlfriend is actually playing in one, right?" Oscar perked up just slightly at the mention of her. 

"Yeah! It was so amazing to find out that she got the role." He went down the reminiscing lane for a sec, trying to tell the story. "I remember when she finished the phone call she just broke out in the biggest smile I have ever seen on her; she just started jumping around like a small child. I have never, in my life been happier for her than I had in that moment." He had waved his hand around for a moment when telling the story and Jimmy laughed a little at the end of the story. 

"When you two are away filming, do you call each other a lot?" 

"Oh, all the time." Oscar put emphasis on all in the sentence just trying to tell everyone just how much they talked. "If we're not talking its texting, just trying to spend time with one another even though we may be hundreds if miles apart." The crowd seemed to awe at his comment which made his face break out in a small smile.

"So shes away currently?" Jimmy asked him, leaning slightly on the tabletop desk.

 "Yeah, I can't say where but shes away filming." Oscar's smile seemed to falter but only for a second, she was watching. 

"Okay. And it is your birthday is it not?" Jimmy seemed to tread lightly at this question. The crowd erupted into cheers for him which made that smile start tugging at the corners of his mouth again. 

"Yeah. 41, today, which I know is crazy." The crowd erupted into a clapping session once more. He looked out into the crowd and looked at their faces. 

"Well, since it's your birthday, I've decided to get you a little gift." 

"Oh no." The crowd laughed at the comment Oscar made. 

"Oooo, that one hurt." Jimmy and Oscar laughed at one another. "You're going to have to close your eyes." Oscar gave Jimmy a look before as the crowd went into yet another cheering session. It didn't take a lot for Oscar to give in and cover his eyes with the hands. The surroundings were quiet for a moment while Jimmy made some movements behind his desk. Oscar couldn’t tell what was going on but he had a feeling that when he opened his eyes he was going to get a cake to the face. It just felt like it was something that Jimmy would do to him. Another moment passed before a few in the crowd started to cheer and clap, which threw him off for a moment. Oh no, the cake idea was becoming a reality.  

“Okay, Oscar, I’m going to count down to 0 and when I do you can go ahead and open your eyes.” Jimmy gave him simple instructions. Oscar nodded and gave his acknowledgment to Jimmy. Someone took him by the shoulders and stood him up. He seemed a little taken aback by the person but tried to let it roll off his back, they were just trying to set him up for a good shot of the pie he was getting in his face. 

“Okay, 5″ the start of the countdown didn’t make him as nervous and maybe it should have been, “4, 3-” this was the point was he started shuffling his feet a little bit, not that he was nervous at all. “2,” Jimmy took a short breath and Oscar could feel the crowds' breath be put on hold. “1,” Oscar was giddy, like a little child, he almost started to hold his breath, waiting slowly. 

“0!” Jimmy yelled Oscar's hands flew off his face and his eyes snapped open and his mouth fell open in a gasp. 

The woman in front of him was dressed in a nice silver dress that gave a few sparkles when hit by the studio lights. The dress flowed down to the floor and hugged her curves in just the right way. You couldn’t see her feet but she was most likely wearing short heals like she always did when she wore a dress like that. She wore a small pendant around her neck that seemed to catch the light just enough to make it sparkle loudly in the room. And wow, did she take his breath away. Her hair was done just the way she liked it, and whenever she liked it, he liked it ten times more. She didn’t have a lot of makeup on but she didn’t need it, she was gorgeous without it. She broke out into a smile. That’s when Oscar rushed forward and took her into his arms.

She was here. A large smile broke out on Oscar’s face as he spun her around. She let out a few giggles that made him chuckle lowly. For just the two of them, this was such an intimate moment, despite the hundreds and maybe thousands of people watching both of them right now. But they didn’t matter to Oscar, what mattered was her. Her hand reached up to hold onto the sides of his face while she craned her head just enough to meet his lips. He smiled into it before she pulled away and looked at him. 

“Actress (Y/N)(L/N) everyone!” The crowd erupted into a storm of claps as she was announced. Oscar twirled her around a few more times before setting her back down on the carpet. She covered her face for a second as she laughed and then started waving into the crowd. Oscar slipped a hand behind her back and brought her a little closer which caused her to look at him and then brake out into an even bigger smile. God how he loved her smile, never failed to warm up his day. The crowd wasn’t stopping either, Jimmy next to him was clapping. She just kept smiling at looking out at the people. God, she looked gorgeous. She soon turned and looked at Oscar with that giant smile still gracing her lips. 

“Happy Birthday Oscar.” She spoke in a small voice. 

“Yeah, it is a happy birthday indeed.” 

[realchemistry]

Jamie Johnson BAFTA Q&A Full transcript

14:02:35 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Good evening, everyone and welcome to this special BAFTA event as part of Pride Month. I'm Alex Kay-Jelski. I'm the editor in chief of the athletic and I'm going to be moderating a discussion of Jamie Johnson, Tackling Issues Head On.

14:03:09 I'm sure you have seen the incredible episodes that have been airing recently and before we have a great discussion with your panelists. I have bits of housekeeping. Live captioning is available if needed on this, click the option at the bottom of your Zoom panel. Also, we will be taking questions later, because we want to answer your big queries, but to do that, use the Q&A button at the bottom. We will not see you on the chat function.

14:03:44 I will give you a five minute warning to get the questions in and we will get in as many as we can in the next hour. So here we are, Jamie Johnson, what an incredible, incredible few episodes as we saw Dillon comes to terms or start to terms with his sexuality and being gay and coming out in a time of him being a starring footballer and how difficult that was for hill.

14:04:17 I think in a world where a lot of people feel comfortable going to football grounds, not like anyone is allowed at football grounds right now, unfortunately. With people coming to terms with who they are, trying to speak to their family about it, trying to speak to their friends about it. Really moving, fantastic drama.

14:04:39 We're going to talk to the key people and try to explain why it is so important and what effect it had and will continue to have. So I will stop prattling on because you are probably bored of hearing from me because there are far more interesting people to hear from.

14:04:58 We have Shaun Duggan the lead writer on Jamie Johnson. He has been BAFTA nominated alongside of Jimmy from the accused and he is famous for righting the lesbian kiss in brook side. I'm old enough to remember that.

14:05:33 Next, we have actors Laquarn Lewis and Patrick Ward, so hello to you two. We have Cheryl Taylor. Cheryl is the head of content of BBC Children and she commissioned Jamie Johnson and all of the BBC content, that is hard to say when you say it quickly for television and online.

14:06:03 For now, we have Hugo Scheckter who is the head of Player Care of West Ham United. Later, we have an extra because we're going to be joined by the executive producer Anita Burgess who produces Jamie Johnson for BBC. Lots of people with lots of things to say. We should get started, shouldn't we?

14:06:32 I'm going to talk to Shaun first, because I think you're the best persons to answer this question. Jamie Johnson has always been a huge success, we're in series five now, great ratings, lots of interest, telling really, really important stories that reflect sort of the lives of children and teenagers. Why do you think the show has been so popular and why does it engage this audience so well?

14:07:07 >> Shaun Duggan: I think for what you have said and from the outset, we wanted to tell a show that felt very real and reflect the lives of our young audience and not patronize or condescend them. My background is working on soap operas and other stuff and this was rarely the first big show I worked on in children's drama.

14:07:40 I have to say, I didn't approach it any differently. I approached it in the same way as I would an adult drama. Obviously, there are things you have to be careful of in terms of language, but in terms of thinking of challenge in story, thinking about what reflects the young audience as lives, what is important to them and just in terms and I'm sure we'll talk more later about how the whole Dillon story came about.

14:08:08 If I could say from a personal experience, when I was younger, I could I've with the show because I'm football mad, working-class background, I remember my dad carrying me over the turnstiles and slipping the man some cash and all I wanted to do was play football in the street and that is why I was obsessed with going to every game I could.

14:08:39 Then I got to about 11 and things changed because suddenly all I play football with didn't want to be my friend anymore and people started saying I was gay, queer, in the 80'S, I did not know what these things were. It I just knew I was something bad and something to be ashamed of and things got worse where I was not welcome to play football anymore.

14:09:14 People turned their backs on me and all through senior school, for me personally, I had a hellish experience. I left school without any qualifications and not just talking verbal bullying, I'm talking getting beaten up most days, so school became about survival. I couldn't turn to the teachers. You were not allowed to talk about gay issue, I couldn't go  home and tell my own family.

14:10:04 They were homophobic, not homophobic in a bad way, but we didn't know and I know firsthand how isolating and lonely, you know that is to be a young, gay person. I know things have changed to a degree, but in terms of education these things aren't talked enough within school, so to get this opportunity to tell a story like this in children's drama, I have to say a massive thank you to Cheryl and everyone at CBBC. If they don't support it and go along with it, then it wouldn't happen.

14:10:31 I have to say I found it very emotional seeing these stories going out on screen last week, not only that but everything around it, the support on news, the presenters after they talked to the audience and it is OK to be yourself and it made me proud to be a part of it and how far we have come.

14:10:46 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Do you think producing a show like this plays a role a little bit, a small role in helping the next generation of kids who are growing up, teenagers who are coming to terms with who they are, they don't have to go through what you have gone through.

14:11:24 >> Shaun Duggan: Absolutely, it is all cliche really, but if people say, if we telling this story, we can help one person not to feel -- let them know they are not on their own it is really worth doing. You mentioned at the intro, I did the lesbian kiss, which is almost 30 years ago now, but to this day, people who are in their 50s or whatever will approach me and when I meet them and you can tell people are in isolated communities with a traditional family.

14:11:34 The impact of seeing that story line on screen and making it feel less alone and that is so powerful.

14:11:54 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Cheryl, does the BBC have a role to play in that sense in trying to reassure people like this program does and let them know they are not alone? How important is it when you're choosing which programs to put on air does that come into play?

14:12:31 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thanks, Alex. It is really important to us.  Obviously, as a public service board, we are there to inform and to entertain and I think we want the children who are watching our shows to feel good about themselves and feel informed. I think it is key. It sets us apart from other broadcasters and listening to Shaun there, such a powerful story that he has told, not just on Jamie Johnson, but to us here this evening.

14:13:02 I think, I don't know how old Shaun is, but he looks younger than someone who wrote brookside 30 years ago. When I was the age of Patrick and Laquarn, I would not have had any role models and it is fantastic that people are able to write these important stories and we very much want to reflect them.

14:13:31 I have to point out it takes a special kind of writer and special performer to achieve what Jamie Johnson has achieved and the whole production team as well. A lot of people have talked about authenticity at the moment and to hear Shaun talk about the story that has woven into a football series.

14:14:06 Jamie Johnson has been around for a long time and to artfully weave that story, in a sense, I don't think any of the fans or viewers would have felt in a sense they were being preached at or lectured, which I think is amazing. I think Patrick has taken us through Dillon's journey in a way that Shaun has given us the story, a coming of age story, someone finding his identity and that is something all kids will be going through. They will all be looking for signals and for help.

14:14:42 It is hard being a kid and hard growing up, so you know, absolutely, I think the BBC is the platform for this type of story, but fair play to these guys. They told it beautifully. I was seeing the comments on Patrick and Laquarn's Insta and there are people saying this is amazing and this is great to seeing this happen. People have written, what an amazing episode of Jamie Johnson. It is such a valuable series.

14:14:49 I'm grateful to Shaun and all of the team for telling the story so beautifully.

14:15:12 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Shaun, how do you write for a teenage and child audience? How do you get insides of the heads of teenagers and people of that age and make it relevant to them? As been mentioned in this call already, you are not a teenager anymore.

14:15:44 >> Shaun Duggan: No, but I thank Cheryl for the comments they am older than you might realize. I have lots of nieces, nephew, firstly, we have all been teenagers so I have been there. But I have nieces and nephews and so many of my friends' children love Jamie Johnson. In the past, for example, I tried to incorporate stories being relevant.

14:15:58 We had Dillon being diabetic in an earlier series because my friend's daughter was diagnosed with type I diabetes and that is where the idea came from, so you draw from all of those experiences.

14:16:10 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Patrick, do you remember the day they came to you with the idea of this story line and how did that feel? It is quite a responsibility, I guess.

14:16:41 >> Patrick Ward: Sure, I do remember the day, actually, before every series, I would meet with Shaun and Anita and talk about the next year and this idea was brought forward. To be honest, while a lot of people may see it as being a surprise, when you look back over Dillon's journey, it made a lot of sense and as playing Dillon, it felt organic and needed in society as well.

14:16:56 Yeah, definitely, I think that is really important as well, I have younger brothers and sisters who fancy the star and to see their response and other people, it has been brilliant.

14:17:20 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: How many barriers do you think there are to breakdown? For example, hopefully, this makes a lot of people feel more comfortable and better about themselves, but realistically, when you went and told your friends about this twist in Dillon's character, were you nervous about the response that you would get? Has that been positive?

14:17:42 >> Patrick Ward: I suppose you are nervous, for me especially with negative feedback, it is more kind of, like what Shaun was talk about earlier, it shows that it is perform that we're doing this story line. When you see negative feedback, which is not a lot of it to be fair, most of it is positive, but I think it is important.

14:18:03 People around me responded very well and my family was very supportive and is very forward thinking. I was proud to be doing it and I didn't care what other people had to say about it negative thinking, because I'm honored to be a part of it.

14:18:13 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, how did you feel that? Do you think Jamie Johnson has a unique way of telling a story like this?

14:18:45 >> Laquarn Lewis: Yeah, I think it is unique in terms of the way he told the story, because any story can educate people on coming out and finding your own sexuality, but Jamie Johnson has done this through an industry which seems to be gay in football, especially and they tackled this on one of their main characters and followed the journey of his homophobic past with himself, his younger brother and dad.

14:19:16 He was only sharing the homophobic because that is what he was used to around his family and maybe his football team, you know, so the fact he had to hold it in for so long and hide who he is because of his passion for football. Jamie Johnson told an amazing story and did an amazing job of getting it across and you can be who you want to be no matter what your dreams are.

14:19:49 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I think it is great that he was not playing into people's stereotypes as well. Some people like to think what they know what a gay person looks like, talks like, walks like, right, Dillon did not fit the stereotypes. Hugo, I don't know if you had the same thing, but when I came out, a lot of people were like, oh, we didn't see that coming necessarily, which is fine but you wish they had known it was coming because it was less of a surprise.

14:20:06 I think the fact that Dillon was not what some people would expect is a great thing for the audience because it makes them think about their own assumptions and prejudices, if you don't mind.

14:20:31 >> Shaun Duggan: I hope you don't mind me jumping, in but it made the story more interesting. The audience had these expectations of Dillon that someone like him wouldn't be gay, so therefore, that makes it more challenging.

14:20:48 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Yeah, absolutely. Did you, Patrick, Laquarn get involved in the story line or were you good boys and did what you were told?

14:21:07 >> Patrick Ward: Well, we rehearsed beforehand, actually in this house, in the next room. Laquarn came with someone we have known for a long time and rehearsed this kind of thing. I think it is very important as well.

14:21:42 >> Laquarn Lewis: He made us do games where we had to get to know each other really well before we shoot the scenes, so the story that we were telling was truthful. We had to do this one task and we had to look at each other and we couldn't smile and we had to keep pushing each other. He did so many games to get us on to a level where our relationship outside of acting could really like grow for our onset acting and I think that helped a lot.

14:22:10 >> Patrick Ward: I was going to say it is interesting because if you look at Dillon when he meets Elliot, it is like when he first sees him. It is like there is something that goes on insides of his brain. He doesn't understand what it is, but there is something and it is new and it happens very quickly, so I think it is important that me and Laquarn were able to understand each other as people and actors beforehand, definitely.

14:22:28 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Absolutely. We touched on this is a little, Cheryl, but outside of this show, generally, do you feel the BBC has a responsibility to put forward stories that represent underrepresented parts of audiences?

14:23:08 >> Cheryl Taylor: Yes, I was just thinking there when Shaun was talking about Patrick having diabetes just using Jamie Johnson as an example and this is one example of one of many, many dramas that we do. The different storylines that people judge as mainly football drama. We covered Jamie's family and kids looking after sick parents, so young carers, we had the homophobia, we had bullying. Just in that one series, you have a set of writers and producers and commissioners

14:23:50 Who intend to broaden the scope to be as inclusive and relevant as many kids as possible. Someone was talking about we know a lot of girls watch Jamie Johnson as well, so across the piece, it is important that all of our brands have a broad appeal. I think, I know I sound like I'm heaping praise on these wonderful creators but because I think they deserve it in this one drama. Secret life of boys, all of these shows on the surface, you can say this is a comedy, this is a drama.

14:24:19 Under beneath of that, every episode addresses these issues and reflects many of the audience's lives as many as possible and giving them tools and strategies to manage their own lives. I do think suggest a scale and a specialty skill and I don't think anyone watching the show would argue that they have done it incredibly well. It is very important.

14:24:44 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: That is it, isn't it? We can talk about sport and football and LBGTQ relationships in a minute, but Jamie Johnson, this story line is a show about football largely, but the story line is not about football. You can be any young more than or older person who doesn't have the courage to come out or the opportunity to come out and see that.

14:24:59 Hopefully, be confident and inspired by it. This is not about football, right, either of you, this is show to reach out to a much, much wider audience.

14:25:27 >> Cheryl Taylor: As I say it is about identities, rites of passage, coming of age and the journey that Dillon goes on, especially the extraordinary scene with his dad, for any kid, you know who is thinking about a difficult conversation that they might want to have, that would have been key. That would have been crucial and the fact that he goes to speak to Jamie. He reaches out to his friends and gets advice.

14:25:51 That is where the beauty of having Elliot there who has gone through this before, who has to some degree come to terms with his identity and that gives lots of information, lots of hope, useful take out for kids who are watching and feeling uncertainty about their own identity.

14:26:23 >> Shaun Duggan: I think that is, if you don't mind me jumping in again, really important because we established in the story that Dillon's family is homophobic. We ran a story where his little brother was kicked out of the club about making homophobic comments about Ruby's foster parents. We have time to establish that, but it felt important when we brought in Elliot's character that he was coming in from a different place.

14:26:37 He was comfortable in who he was. He says on screen that he had been brought up with gay people, so they had different experiences, but learned from each other's experiences.

14:27:03 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Also for parents, too, right? This is not an easy conversation and not always an expected conversation for parents as well. I think is very hard to know sometimes how to react and how not to react and everyone wants to say they want to be understanding with their children, but some parents may get shocked and surprised and don't react in the most helpful ways.

14:27:13 With that scene in particular with Dillon and his dad is a good thing to pin up on the wall, and go, whatever you do, don't do that.

14:27:39 >> Shaun Duggan: Again, in terms of that is such a powerful scene, very difficult to watch and all of the actors played it so brilliant, but there is quite a pit of the series to go, so although Dillon's dad reacted veried badly, he will have his own journey to go on through the rest of the series.

14:28:18 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Hugo, you sat there patiently and calmly and nodding in the right places, so now you get to talk. Hugo works in west ham. He is in the dressing room with players. He is helping them out. He used to work at Southampton, so he works at various football clubs. He understands football. He is a gay man in football. What did you think watching this and do you think football is a different place than other parts of society?

14:28:56 >> Hugo Scheckter: First of all, it struck me how powerful it was and it was jarring from a kids' TV show. I'm not someone who watched Jamie Johnson on a regular basis before, I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. This was my first expectation of the show, watching cartoons with my nephew. Did not know what to expect, but I thought, wow, this is hard hitting and I was jarred by the whole Dillon and his father's scene.

14:29:24 I think it was absolutely fantastic to highlight that. In terms of football, I think it's a different environment in a lot of ways, but negative and positive. I think a lot of people see football as this horrible, you know, macho, alpha-male environment. The changing room is one of the most diverse groups of people you can meet.

14:30:08 We've got on the team, for example, a guy from the republic of Congress go who is friends with a Scottish guy and a Hawaiian guy and you probably don't see that in society on a general basis. I think seeing the role molls come -- models coming out, but you're seeing it in the lockdown, but allies and I think people have spoken openly and eloquently about the importance of the rainbow campaign or openly gay players or role models.

14:30:42 For me, I was in the closet and I came out about two or three years into Southampton. My job is to look after players and the families and I was trying to get the players to trust me without sharing all of myself. Once I did, the relationship was so much closer and even today at lunch, I had a player ask me about my coming out and how I realized and he talked about how he would react if his kids came out.

14:31:14 That is a conversation that you would not expect to be in a changing room or a club and the amount of discussions we had about LBGTQ issues or trans issues, I'm not shaggymane expert, but I'm a resource and I think it is hugely encouraging and it means they are inquisitive people. I think they get a bad rap and I'm 100% sure who came out would be fully accepted in the change room.

14:31:44 Players want you to be a good person and a good player and if you can 10 us stay in the league or other teams' cases, higher up in the league, that is all that matters. It does not matter who you are or what you do in your free time, what religion you are or sexual orientation, it does not matter as long as you're a good person or a good player. I think football gets a worse rap than it deserves at times.

14:32:22 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I would counter it to be the awkward person to say going to football is the only place I would not hold my husband's hand in public. It is one thing to know what it is like in the dressing room and that is fascinating, it is another thing to walk into a football stadium and the atmosphere and the words that you hear there, whether it is racist stuff, homophobic stuff, football as a sport has a long, long way to go percent. Sports has a long way to go. There are not out

14:32:59 Is not a great place. You say it was Dillon's line in the episode, there is no out -- no out footballer in this country, how can I sort of come out and be successful and that is the crux of that is a big part of the episode, isn't it? It is a really complex question because the worst thing that can happen people endlessly talking about it and the witchhunt of we need gay footballs. Who is the gay footballer?

14:33:14 I think the narrative needs to be a welcoming environment so people feel comfortable and that may take another generation's time.

14:33:53 >> Hugo Scheckter: There are gay women footballers in the west ham. You know what, yeah, I can talk to my experience in the changing room. To be honest, I go to every game we play and I don't hear the negativity. I think there is a lot of discussion in football about this banter and from an outsider's point of view, especially in the change room, it can be seen as negative. The way I felt was the players did not joke about anything, whether it was my sexuality or whatever else,

14:34:20 My hair, my weight, or whatever it is, that means they accept me. If it is like, don't talk about gay stuff that is like they don't accept me. I had players saying can I make a gay joke to you and I say as long as you make it to my face and prepare for me to come back at you and I think that is a little bit of a difference in football environment where other industries it would not be acceptable.

14:34:46 At the end of the day, we are focused of doing one thing, which is winning matches and we have a match tomorrow. We're all focused on that we're not worried about what everyone is doing around that. We're worried about everything is doing everything they can to beat Chelsea or get a point at this point, but it is important that we work together for that one goal.

14:35:06 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Just a quick, not warning as such, advisory, that we will probably start the questions in a few minutes. I can see there are few in there. If you want to ask these lovely, almost interesting people questions, make sure you get them so we can make you as happy as possible.

14:35:18 What is acting like in comparison, Laquarn, Patrick, do you feel that is a welcoming environment for people to be themselves?

14:35:54 >> Laquarn Lewis: Well, I feel like it. Yeah, there is, but there is a lot of discrimination in the acting industry, it is not just football. I feel like, especially with type casting that is very hard in the industry, because if you act or look a certain way then it is most likely you're going to get put for this same character over and over again. It is good to just play something different to yourself and get that opportunity.

14:36:07 It is getting better in the industry, but like I said, I'm happy to play whatever, especially this role right here, because I'm helping so many people, so I'm -- thank you, yeah.

14:36:13 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Have you had people get in touch with you to say it has helped?

14:36:17 >> Laquarn Lewis: You can do this one, Patrick.

14:36:49 >> Patrick Ward: Yeah, yeah, definitely, it has been mostly positive and that is the benefit thing for me is seeing people with a message saying this has helped me come to terms with this or this helped me speak about this and that is all we're trying to achieve and just I'm proud watching the episode because everyone did such a good job. It has been fantastic and see how people have responded in a good way.

14:36:57 There has been some negativity, but a lot of people have taken it positive.

14:37:18 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: One person who is in a great position to explain a little bit more about the reception that this story line has got is Anita. So Anita Burgess, for those who were not here at the beginning of the conversation, Anita. Hello, Anita. Good evening. Nice to see you.

14:37:21 >> Anita Burgess: Hello. Nice to see you, too.

14:37:35 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Anita is the executive producer of the show. You must be absolutely fantastic the repping you have had, I would love to hear from your perspective.

14:38:11 >> Anita Burgess: It has been amazing actually. I'm known as someone who cries a lot and the reception has made me cry a lot even for me. It has been overwhelming. I think as Patrick was saying largely positive. I mean almost entirely positive, the 1% have their other views and that is there and that has to be acknowledged, but I found, I think as what was said, the most moving ones are the positive ones.

14:38:39 People feel for the first time there is something on screen that they recognize themselves in and it helps them and the complements about how the story has been handled and us not talking down to people, that sense of what we're trying to do is empower and educate and get the word out there to help people who are already in this position.

14:38:53 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: How would you not talk down to people? What are things that you can do so it does not come across as patronizing? What are things in your head as a producer to say don't do this?

14:39:30 >> Anita Burgess: We are mindful of the audience and the age they are, so you explain things and make it clear to not -- what you're trying to do is use language that they would understand, but not treat them kind of too young. I think the simplicity of the story comes from truth. It comes from Shaun's experiences.

14:39:44 Making sure the research is as thorough as possible, so we are representing the truth as much as we can, I think it is about that, so don't talk down is just be honest and clear as best we can.

14:40:10 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: That is brilliant. I think it is time we put you to the sharks and answer some questions, really. There are quite a few of them. I'm going to try to do something if I press a button, they might come up on the screen. I'm going to apologize in advance if I get that wrong and someone will tell me if I'm doing this wrong.

14:40:42 So Dillon's storyline has been gripping, someone says. Beautifully written and amazingly active. Lots of compliments. This is best directed to you, Cheryl, of CBC producing a series with younger audiences where being LBGTQ plus being the center of the show? Can you, not target, but get this message to a younger audience?

14:41:13 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thank you for the question. As I was saying earlier, obviously CBC is the preschool channel and we have 6-12, to some degree we're limited to the type of lens we can put on sexuality, obviously, and as I mentioned earlier, a lot around your identity is something that we can explore. It has to be done in a certain way, because we have quite a wide age group.

14:41:47 I think the way this story is played out from 9-12 and above has been perfect, so depending on how someone wrote a story and type of character that they highlighted, I think anything is possible. Our central messages are about tolerance and inclusion and that people should feel OK about being themselves and I think you can get those messages across in many, many different ways, as to say for preschool age.

14:41:54 It would depend on the type of character and how they were portrayed, but essentially, yes, absolutely.

14:41:59 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Since you're talking, you can answer the next question.

14:42:00 >> Cheryl Taylor: Go.

14:42:22 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Shaun might have an opinion as well. How long did it take to develop the idea and were you nervous about it? The person here, he says he produced when Andrew Hayden Smith came out and people were nervous that people like parents would complain. Were you aware of that or, no, we're doing the right thing?

14:42:51 >> Cheryl Taylor: I wasn't nervous, actually, that is partly to do with the team. Again as I mentioned this there are a lot of tricky storylines in Jamie Johnson and our other dramas. Anita, Shaun, everyone is very, very experienced and I knew they would handle it really well and similarly, the commissioning editor, Amy and her team would have explained the storylines with Anita.

14:43:25 That is one part of it and going back to Patrick, Patrick is such a key, key character in Jamie Johnson and he has taken on so many different things, so right from the beginning. I remember Anita telling me Patrick embraced the idea because he felt it was so important. Genuinely, we knew the team, there might have been a few more question marks, but with this team we did not have any anxiety.

14:44:06 Anita and Amy in presentation and talked to the press and introducing it and Patrick introduced it and pushing to news rounds and also on social media kind of making sure there were links there to child life or the other kids that might be watching who were worried and going through new experiences. Across the piece, everyone was so empathetic that it might be a troublesome story line, and they did brilliant work to make sure it was embedded in the right way.

14:44:23 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Brilliant. Shaun, this one is for you. This person is called anonymous attendee, who I don't think is their real name, how important is it for LBGTQ stories to have a happy ending?

14:44:46 >> Shaun Duggan: Incredibly important, as far as I'm concerned. In the past, we have seen so many examples, you know, where there is a tragic ending and to be honest because that is reflected reality, because it has been in the past incredibly hard to be gay in this country. It was only in the 1960's, it was legal to be gay.

14:45:11 In the 80'S, we had the AIDS epidemic and you couldn't discuss being gay in school, so it is only in the past 20 or so years, we have been on this incredible journey and we are in a position now where we can tell these positive stories that reflect real people's lives.

14:45:31 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I think when you grow up a gay teenager there is a lot of feeling that you won't have all of the things that people laid out for other people. I grew up thinking I'm not going to get married and not have kids and I'm going to be unhappy. Having hope.

14:46:11 >> Shaun Duggan: For me being able to tell it, I talked about being bullied at school. I was 21 before I came out. That ad less scents that most people have, I didn't have. It was stolen from me. It gives me so much hope that young people have the confidence to talk sexuality and build on those.

14:46:45 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I'm being asked by Christopher, how have your peers responded to you playing this role? Obviously, Laquarn, you mentioned discrimination in industry. Have actors been supportive in what you have done? Lincoln people around me like my friends and family and people who watch have really supported me and and there is nothing far from like myself. Elliot is just like myself.

14:47:19 >> Laquarn Lewis: I -- so my friends have always been supportive, but I chose to wait until I left secondary school to tell them what my sexuality was, because I knew in secondary schools, if you are different in any way shape or form whether that is sexuality, disability, you will be brutalized and it is a horrible thing. I already knew I was going to wait until then. I was worried about my friends and what they would think as well.

14:47:46 When I told them, I have never seen such amazing support of people and doing this right now in the show, they have picked me up so much. They said the bravery it takes to be able to be open about your sexuality and then do this and silt just amazing and I thank everyone around me really.

14:47:51 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Patrick, anything to add or is that an impossible act to follow?

14:48:22 >> Patrick Ward: That is summed up perfectly. A different thing for me, this story line, but everybody around me has been very supportive. There are people I know, to be fair, from school or who you see out who haven't -- made comments, but as a reality, for me, you have conversations about this and able to express and I think it has been already.

14:48:43 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Someone sells asking, when you're doing a story line like this, are you given any help or claiming in terms or warnings about how to deal with the response afterwards on social media? It is hard to know what things are going to be like, right?

14:49:12 >> Laquarn Lewis: Yeah, we have had Zoom sessions with Anita and Shaun and BBC, everyone involved in making Jamie Johnson and particularly, this storyline, they have given us guidelines and a draft response to people who are giving us hate and BBC says we don't respond to this. We have been helped really well.

14:49:50 >> Patrick Ward: I think that is spot on that it has been interesting that I have been doing this for quite a while and I remember being 12 and in a room and talking about social media before I had ever been on TV and people saying, this is -- you're going to have this kind of response and this kind of thing and I remember being mind blown. It now a part of reality on how to respond with these things. I have a strict code of conduct with my social media and mostly what we have had ha fantast

14:50:26 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: There is one question that has been asked more than anything else, so we're going to save it to the end. We're going to go to a tough one and Shaun and Anita, you are probably best place to ask this. Someone said a line that jumped out to me, I think this is in the scene with Dillon and his dad, you are gay or you're not. Should we be telling people that identities aren't binary?

14:50:52 >> Shaun Duggan: I think with that line, you're writing truthfully from Dillon's dad's perspective. He hasn't got this great understand on of the subject and it is the kind of thing that he might say and not everyone is 100% gay. A lot of people are, a lot of people aren't, a lot of people in the middle.

14:51:32 Dillon is actually trying to tell his dad the truth and his dad is making it as difficult as possible for him, so I think I would rather focus on the positive message and the scenes that we have between Dillon and Elliot, where there was so much positive materials spoken about rather than focusing on Dillon's dad, who at this stage is homophobic and ignorant and a bigot, really.

14:52:05 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: This question is from a teacher and she says if she teaches things about homophobia or transgender issues, she gets parents saying she is trying to make them that way and we hear this quite a lot, right? If you tell people about transgender people, you're going to make them transgender. She is asking, have you had any of that or generally people been a lot lovier?

14:52:38 >> Shaun Duggan: If I could just say from my perspective on that, again, talking about what I was saying earlier, from being born to 12-13, I did not see any gay representation on TV I did not know what gay people were. I still became gay. If you go on that lodge you can, I should be an heterosexual, because I should have been inspired by boys and girls, but I wasn't. I still became gay.

14:52:54 You have to be careful when you have the debates, don't you of just having an open mind. At the end of the day, you know instinctively what you are from an a young age.

14:53:23 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Begs the question, if I watch enough "Game of Thrones" will by a weird person and run around with a spear in my hand?  Not sure how that works. This question is for Cheryl from Miriam. She says in children's media, it can be hard to get certain things to air. With this story line, you had to tweak it or limit it in order for it to get to that stage or were you allowed to be fairly free with it?

14:53:57 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thanks for your question, Miriam. I think that goes back to the one we answered earlier, which was, I think the teams, s Anita and Amy and Shaun were looking at getting the story across in an age appropriate way. We is 6-12, so we need to make sure it is age appropriate.

14:54:38 Generally, there are some things I get exercised about, along with Katherine McAllister and I think pat and Laquarn was mentioning and we talked to her if we worried about a story line. Because this one, series five, coming from Shaun's personal experience and a specialty team, I didn't have any concerns about that.

14:55:12 >> Anita Burgess: Can I jump in as well, because I think it is important that people can understand how the producer coming to the BBC with this story, it wasn't something that we thought oh, we're not going to be able to do that. We knew the team would be very willing to talk to us and they did and we had a very in-depth discussion all the way along the line, they were incrediblably supportive of making sure this is age appropriate and the clarity was there, but the truth was there.

14:55:31 I think all credit it to the BBC if there is a perception that there is something you can't do there, that is not the case. There is always a conversation to be had there and they have been enormously supported right from the start.

14:55:50 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Hugo, young footballers coming through as teenagers, do they get a good education in being open minded? I can't remember how much they are in school and how much they are not at school. How do young sports people get taught how to be open minder?

14:56:17 >> Hugo Scheckter: I don't think we teach them to be open minded, I think we teach them a variety of life skills that leads them to being open minds, which was the idea. They are meeting people that they would not have met through their normal lives and I think that is a positive experience, but we also make sure everything we are doing that is appropriate and talk about the social media guidelines that the actors go through.

14:56:43 We go through the same thing, not only in the things they put out, but what they receive and we have had a number of issues with various comments getting to our players and having to deal with that. I think you can't maybe teach -- you can teach open mindness, but that is not our goal. Our goal is to make well-rounded people who are also excellent footballers.

14:57:06 We haven't seen issues in the any of the clubs I worked with where players are not accepting each other or having problems with each other it. Tends to be they competed on a position, where two goalkeepers competing for one position, but not the personality of the major clashes that happens at younger ages.

14:57:25 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I reckon apart from the one person who is asking if they can play football with Patrick, we have time for two more questions. Laquarn, Patrick, what have you learned from filming these scenes?

14:57:49 >> Patrick Ward: I think a lot. These are the scenes I was looking forward to the most. When you get the scripts, especially the ones, obviously we rehearsed a lot, but I learned a lot as an actor and I am not able to prescription it very well because it is an organic process and try to embed yourself into it.

14:58:01 I like to think of it being modern and I think you learn a lot from this kind of thing, especially as a new actor.

14:58:04 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, over to you.

14:58:40 >> Laquarn Lewis: I think it is -- it shows a way of how somebody can cope with coming out and how they deal with telling people and stuff and what I have learned from filming this and getting out there to people is, it doesn't have to be someone on the screen. You can be the person in real life to support your friend. All it takes you to ask them if they are OK and they might all of a sudden tell you that or anything.

14:58:55 If you just support people around you then you know it is something to help them that little bit more to be themselves.

14:59:11 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: So the last question of the night, the question that everyone is asking in this Q&A and we have to ask wow getting in trouble, is Elliot coming back? Who is answering that question?

14:59:28 >> Anita Burgess: I guess that is me, isn't it? We're hopeful. Things are in the process at the moment. Things aren't completely finished yet, but we're hopeful to find a way of continuing it somehow.

14:59:33 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, you're in luck. It is a night to celebrate.

14:59:35 >> Anita Burgess: He might not want to.

14:59:37 >> Laquarn Lewis: I would. I would.

15:00:14 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: There you go. It is a job acceptance live on air. Thank you so much all of you for your time, your questions, your excellent answers. I have enjoyed it and I hope you have as well. There are a lot of people struggling out there, as well, if you know them, I recommend the charities, it takes so much work to help people in relation to storylines like this, absolutely massive.

[shay11a]

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again. 

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that. 

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING) 

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.  

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece. 

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything 

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius. 

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic. 

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters 

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.   

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has  consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective)  makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area. 

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing. 

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant. 

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious 

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking. 

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?” 

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part.... 

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you…  ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled”  This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333 

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her.  Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow. 

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else) 

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.”  The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me  

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?”  <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you 

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here 

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way. 

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?”  No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends. 

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most  natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this 

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus 

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is 

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable. 

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best  way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails. 

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again. 

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun 

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads 

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism. 

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that. 

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ 

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t. 

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU 

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! ! 

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece 

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful 

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable 

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry 

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind 

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you  sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part 

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man 

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin. 

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff  because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there 

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the  and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school 

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl 

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.