#someone good at writing plz develop into an actual thing plz
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fryingpan1234567 · 2 months ago
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Can u write some malconnor hcs plz??? ❤️🤭 I'm starved fr :)
Ty love u
ah yes my babies I love them sm
it took me a while to get to this but anon I gotchu babe I love me some malconnor at ALL times
they’re givingggg youngest sibling x youngest sibling
I think Connor has always liked the idea of having a motorcycle, but he didn’t take it seriously until Malcolm mentioned someone at his school got one (and was kinda cute)
Connor was NOT HAVING THAT
(he called Travis like “BUCKLE UP WE’RE COMMITTING GRAND THEFT AUTO TONIGHT”)
can’t remember if I said this already but these two could ABSOLUTELY play Ghostface and get away with it
Malcolm would be their supplier and Connor would know all their escape routes and plans B through Z
maybe I’ve already written an au but that’s a WHOLE other thing
anyways I feel it in my Soul that Malcolm is from SoCal, so you can imagine he’s no stranger to parties, even as an introvert (I like to think he doesn’t like people but he’s really good at them— he’s a social butterfly)
the first time Connor saw Malcolm do a blowjob shot (that is a REAL THING LOOK IT UP BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME IT JUST MEANS SHOOTING WITH NO HANDS) he actually almost passed the fuck out
(I don’t condone underage drinking, kids, make sure you’re of legal age before trying any form of alcoholic beverage)
they’re both energy drink addicts and they’ll get each other’s favorites
Connor’s a Red Bull girlie and Malcolm says Monster is his life support
baking together but it devolves into them throwing handfuls of flour at each other and slipping on the eggs they dropped on the ground
(miraculously, the brownies still got made)
Connor pushing Malcolm’s glasses up onto his forehead so he can kiss him better
aside from the point I feel like……. Connor would play lacrosse
if I were to make THAT an au there’s jersey headcanons and going to games and whatever else that comes with it but that’s a WHOLE other circus
anyways they play Minecraft together
lightsaber fights because they’re both nerds
EVERYTHING is a competition with them
“first one to the lake gets to pick the movie tonight”
“you’re on, Stoll”
“good luck, Pace. you’re gonna need it”
“I hope you’re ready to LOSE”
Connor FaceTiming Malcolm during finals season, melting into a burnt out depressed blob at his desk, only to see Malcolm serenely normal annotating a book in his beanbag chair because he’d already finished studying for the night
“Mal,” Connor begged, “help me. Why am I forgetting quadratics. That was a freshman term.”
Malcolm: “Isn’t that a function?”
Connor: “A WHAT (I can’t do this)”
Malcolm, already putting his book away: “Okay… animal crossing then?”
Connor: *inconsolable sobbing* “I love you”
before the first fight of the Battle of Manhattan, after Percy’s big speech and they realize just how bleak their odds are, I like to think these two found each other in the crowd before it dispersed and just. grabbing each other. and not letting go until they have to.
and we don’t talk about the unspoken relief when they first see each other AFTER that first battle because I don’t think I can emotionally handle that one right now
also you know how often they sleep between fights? I know for a fact Malcolm passed out on Connor’s shoulder after at least one of them
fighting back to back tropes but it’s these two annihilating every battlefield you stick them on together
Connor’s immune system is stacked because traveling = tons of sicknesses so Hermes’ kids are super resistant to that, but poor Malcolm’s immunocompromised ass is always getting sick somehow
and like— whatever can affect Connor at all will do much worse to Malcolm, and they find that out the hard way (having to wake up the Apollo cabin in the middle of the night for emergency help because Connor’s mild cold developed into pneumonia in his poor boyfriend)
on a related note, Malcolm is a major germaphobe but not in the obnoxious way my brother is
eughhh in the first ToP book when Apollo accidentally gives the entire camp hay fever, that was not a good follow up week for Malcolm
Connor, who was mildly congested and that was the worst of his symptoms, took care of him the whole time dw
(I reread the Last Olympian today!!)
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lehnsherrrr · 14 days ago
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Fanfic takes (either controversial or common I don’t know)
I just want to say that I hope I don’t offend or upset anyone with this post, I’ve been reading fanfiction for 9 years and I’ve never been able to talk about it until this very moment. Just want to know if anyone relates.
First of all, I’m sorry but I absolutely cannot stand a fic that’s written in the style of a group chat.
Like:
David69: Hey
Jones420: Whatsup
It’s so unnatural, it doesn’t make sense, it always feels forced. I don’t mind a group chat segment cause I understand that may be hard to describe, but the whole thing? Come on man, you’ve obviously got the idea, no shame in just trying to write it normally. I love creativity but I CANNOT with it.
Then it’s like obvious things, or I’d like to think they’re obvious. Punctuation.
Bad punctuation will ruin your whole fic no matter how good your idea or descriptions are, no matter how many words or chapters. I will assume you are 12. You don’t have to understand what one of these ; does, just at least know when there’s supposed to be a paragraph.
I can’t believe the amount of fics I’ve abandoned because two different people would have dialogue in the same paragraph. Come on man.
It’s forgivable if you are actually young (but I don’t want to be reading fanfiction written by someone young, no offence younger me) or if English is not your first language. That being said, I’m mostly sure that punctuation is pretty similar for most languages.
If you struggle like I do/did with things such as how long sentences should be, rereading it always helps. Especially if you leave some time between writing it and proof reading. So often I’ll come back to my work and be like “tf was I trying to say??? Is that even English??”
Better yet, use an ai voice to read it for you. Love a bit of ethical use of ai. (There’s apps that have voices that have been bought and not stolen.) ((but no one’s gonna hurt you if you want to hear Morgan freeman read out your smut shot))
Also Grammarly is free, it can scan your text and tell you what could be improved.
This one might be a me thing, like a “what do yall know about them” sort of situation. Mischaracterisation is obviously a crime unless it’s an au specifically about that, BUT, I mean specifically their dialogue.
I’m autistic (if you couldn’t tell) and have synthesisia, so this might be different for me, but I can hear the characters talking before I write it. I can hear exactly how they’d respond and what words they’d use, their little movements and body language they’d make while saying it. So when I read a fic that writes 2 middle aged men like they’re texting teenagers, I get a little peeved. It’s not the biggest crime, I will continue to read anyway, but I often separate those characters from the source material in my head. I’m reading a fanfiction about these characters, they gotta be those characters, not just people with the same names and features.
Honestly being me I’d probs write a million more things here, I’m a professional hater. To be honest though I do enjoy hating, I think it’s a love language of sorts. I like to pay attention. I also feel bad when I can see that an author probs had a good idea but I just cannot read it. I’d never ever ever leave a comment saying anything, not even a “hey girly! Just so yk you need to use paragraphs!” Sort of comment. I just hope people learn from their own mistakes and develop as they get experience.
Anyway.
PEACE AND LOVE
Plz share any more grievances in the comments or reposts, love a good yap!
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xeno828 · 1 year ago
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Trollhunters Ending FIXED!!!
So....I've recently binged this entire series, fell in love with it and promptly gotten heartbroken at the shitty ending the movie gave us. SO!!!! I have seen many people hating on the ending and pretending it and the movie didn't exist. I came up with an idea that I am permanently using as a replacement for the ending that I'm pretty happy with. I can't write dramatically for shit BUT I can scribble ideas! If anyone wants to flesh this out into a one shot fic PLZ TAG ME JUST SO I CAN READ IT!!!!!
(also this is gonna read more like a screen play for a movie cus I'm a vid editor and that's how I picture stuff, doesn't always translate well into a written story! 😅)
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- So everything stays the same up until Jim uses the kronosphere to go back in time
- Instead of going back to the beginning and changing everything, he travels back to when the Arcane order had finally gotten a hold of the real Nari
- Everything is still happening around him but is dead silent as if he were deaf and in slight slo mo as he gets his bearings (not actually deaf, just that kinda cinematic idea for drama!!)
- Looks around and sees everyone alive gathered around (maybe some sappy or quiet music plays on top of him seeing everyone alive, I dunno!!!)
- As this is the past they don't know Jim just came from the future and are instead focused on glaring at something
- IRL sound hits back in like a huge thud, LOUD AF!!!!
- Jarring Jim to turn around and see the Arcane order hovering in that same ball of magic that surrounded them the first time (that's what everyone is glaring at btw!)
- This is when realization for Jim sets in and he knows this is his second chance
- The music from the credits in the original film (or something like that) starts to build up (in my head it's like him and the music are going "not this fucking time!")
- He transforms into his new armour (either cus it came back in time with him or cus now he knows about the 9th configuration, your choice!)
- Camera and everything is focused on the transformation as the music is building but you can see everyone in the background looking either shocked or like "HELL YEAH!!" when they see Jim finally transforming again
- Quick dramatic shot focusing on the Arcane order still performing their spell, t
- Some sort of cheesy/bad ass hero shot showing off everyone gathered together as the "9th configuration" and ready to kick ass
- Close up on Belroc looking pissed as they realize Jim has transformed and everyone is gathered to fight
- Equally cheesy close up on Jim quietly but determinedly saying something like "not this time" or "my turn" (I can't do dialogue I'm sorry!!!;)
- Jim jumps into fight with everyone following behind
- Final shot of everyone running toward the camera (Arcane order) and cuts to black with Jim swinging Excalibur at the camera.
- As it cuts to black the outro music (roughly 20 secs into it) hits the beat drop at the same time as the credits start!
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Cliffhanger-ish ending, doesn't get rid of the whole story, leaves it up to imagination on who still lives and dies, doesn't undo character development, has more of a feel good "HELL YEAH!!" ending to it (at least for me!) Doesn't feel like a definite ending but has enough to still feel like Trollhunters isn't just over and wrapped up nice and nearly with a pretty bow! For me this works and I'm happy to pretend this is canon. Tbh 90% sure this looks cooler in my head than how it's written down, I might get round to making a vid edit for it on YouTube (cus that's my specialty) but dunno if anyone actually wants to see that!
As I said I'm not a writer so apologies for this chaos!! I don't usually post these things that I think about (cus I've also imaged a better ending for game of thrones!) But I just really wanted to share this in case someone else also enjoyed the concept or in case anyone wants to translate this mess into something coherent!
Anyway, rant done and idea written out, go have fun with it you want, just plz tag cuz I wanna read if you! 😭🙏
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randomnameless · 1 year ago
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The phrase “we have been aware of the high levels of competency from KT's writers, especially with their work for 3H” is worrying; i'm not going to shit-talk them just for thinking that 3H has a good story, especially when someone's standards for what makes a story good or not is subjective and could be different from ours, but KT's story-telling skills are never going to improve if people keep only telling them that Three Houses' deeply-flawed story was actually a narrative masterpiece, instead of a self-contradicting mess with plot points it introduces solely as gotchas and has no intention of ever following up on in any meaningful way, characters getting assassinated left and right to try and argue that female Ashnard might actually be right and not so different from them in terms of morality and goals (while they're in the middle of fighting for their lives and watching their friends die in battle because she decided to invade their home unprovoked and solely for a landgrab), and an over-powered villain group that should have ended the story long before it even started because the writers decided to give them a stockpile of magic nukes they can launch at anywhere in the world, which was also introduced solely for shock value and without them realizing how much of the story is ruined by making it so that the villains who want to kill everyone and take over the world can just nuke anyone they want (that isn't inside Garreg Mach when they launch it) with no consequences.
I just don't like what it means for the future of FE stories if the worst story in the series keeps getting praised as one of the best, even by separate developers, is all.
Wait and see anon!
For what it's worth, while Engage's sales are apparently not as stellar as Houses in the same timeframe (like House after month 1 and Engage after month 1?), Nopes totally crashed.
Amazon isn't the only market in the world, but in some places in the world (tfw not for amazon.fr) Nopes is now sold at around 15 bucks, which is ridiculous considering older games released on consoles still being in circulation are more expensive than this thing that is barely 1 year old(even the first FEW?).
Also, Engage was supposed to have been released earlier but Covid and Houses being released later than planned meant it was delayed, but Engage was supposed to be Fodlan's antithesis, at least writing wise - you'd think IS would have tried to retrofit more Fodlan themes (maybe more uwu maybe some villains aren't BaD and earl grey because they luf u) but they didn't.
Imo, fwiw, while KT apparently loved how Fodlan was received, IS is aghast and doesn't want to touch it within a 10 meters radius, only if it means selling units in FEH and even there, they sometimes retcon Fodlan units (hello F!Billy/Sothis) or challenge them in various FB (Brave!Supreme Leader, but also in the most recent one, Sylvain harping on his Crust being BaD...) clearly showing how they don't really want to follow KT's direction regarding those units - at times, it's almost as if the CoS receives more development in Heroes than in both Fodlan games!
So I'd like to see what IS has in store for the next FE games (or the next non remake FE game), even if in my opinion, given how Heroes has to retcon/finish the writing (Mercedes reveals more about her Adrestian family in FEH than in two of her games!) for characters just to sell them in the gacha game ffs, speaks volumes on what they think of Fodlan's writing.
On top of that, FE16 was the first game where people received surveys/mails from Nintendo/IS asking them if they understood the game... - so despite Fodlan selling well (better than expected?), imo it's clear the writing isn't to praise, at least for IS, and they don't want anything to do with it (Nopes' DLC was scrapped, when shiny!Rhea's sprite was datamined, so either they made an useless sprite, either this sprite might have been used in a future DLC?)
They can still butcher a future remake (plz no jugdral) by adding pointless supports between units and trying to uwu more than needed the red emperor - or add an OC waifu du jour who will sell merchs and try to uwu her if she is on the side of the red emperor - but I feel like we will see where they will go with a brand new game (since Heroes's writing is... as consistent as a fog and basically circles around "women sad'n'lonely*, men evyl", female playable OC simps after the avatar and is useless in the resolution of the plot because Alfonse will finally find a mc guffin way to defeat the villain of the year).
*i truly hope Vero isn't any indication to what the writing of the future games will be, like heavy retcons from her first apparition to "i was brainwashed and akshually everyone supports me from my home even if i send them to death against askr because the voice in my head told me to do it" because that'd suck, but vero is a young woman, thus she could be monetised for alts, figurines and even DLC content in a main game!
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number1villainstan · 4 months ago
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Hello I have never written anything decent before and I need to script an entire DnD session by Thursday (vanargand help me) so do you have any writing tips for someone who has…no idea what they’re doing?
(I actually did get relatively far but then I hit a road block so :/)
As someone who has very little experience with DnD, I'm not sure I'll be much help, especially cuz it seems way different to regular prose writing, but I'll try to lay out some stuff:
I've played like one session of DnD, which was a oneshot, which seems like the kind of thing you're doing?
Okay so remember: the players are going to be what's driving the action and making decisions, not the Game Master. That being said, the script *can* point them/railroad them into a certain path, which is good for if you're aiming for something that's not as character-developing
I would aim for something straightforward like that for your first campaign
The one DnD session (which was a oneshot) that I've played was centered in a single town and had a pretty straightforward plot with one or two twists. Using that as a guide, stick to one general location (which will probably have several sub-locations) with a simple plot that has one or two twists
Seeing that, focus on worldbuilding the Plot that your players are going to play, whether it's a monster to track down and defeat in the wild, or a corrupt mayor to overthrow, or an artifact to return to its rightful place.
Also, your players are going to do dumb shit. Do keep them on track, but don't keep them from adopting the talking skull (actual thing that happened during that oneshot).
You mentioned getting pretty far already and hitting a roadblock--I can't really help much unless I get specifics on where you are and what the roadblock is.
As a final note: I've read/heard a lot about how the culture of DnD places an unfair amount of labor on the GM, so be careful plz
*gets on crate and shouts through megaphone* IF ANYONE HERE IS ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED WITH WRITING DND CAMPAIGNS/ONESHOTS PLEASE COME HELP MY FRIEND HERE
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juniperhillpatient · 2 years ago
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as someone not too fond of the stranger things fandom myself id love to hear some of the unpopular opinions you have lol (if you want to say!)
Well since you’re anonymous I’m playing Russian Roulette on if you’ll agree or get mad but oh well I’ve had a few glasses of wine (don’t judge me I have leftovers from thanksgiving ok lol) & I love talking about my opinions on TV shows! Unpopular Stranger Things opinion below! Warning for pettiness :)
Billy Hargrove WAS an asshole BUT he was forced into a horrifying situation he couldn’t control or understand & he’s also tragic & misunderstood. He's also an abuse victim & a child so like I GET that he's portrayed by a hot adult but still, let's engage with the story besties, he is sympathetic & tragic plz.
Jason Carver too. Sorry not sorry but if you consider the show from his POV for like two seconds he’s actually very tragic & that’s intentional cause the writers are smart.
Villains can be complex & sympathetic & that’s not just ok but GOOD.
Eddie Munson & Chrissy Cunningham’s deaths were heartbreakingly tragic but narratively necessary & excellent writing. It hurts but I wouldn’t change anything. Things that hurt aren’t bad writing & characters CANT deserve better because they’re not real & exist to serve a narrative purpose.
Annnd now for the REALLY unpopular stuff (uh oh shipping opinions)
Mike & Eleven have gone from romantic to uncomfortable & their continued relationship seems inevitable but I don’t have to like it. It’s only hindering both their development. Mike would be best developed recognizing his feelings for Will but having them rejected because Will has found someone who actually reciprocates & he’s happy (& that’s also what I want to see for Will.)
Steve & Nancy are / should be endgame. They have both grown & changed while apart & come back with a stronger than ever friendship. I’ve talked endlessly about that though so that shouldn’t be a surprise / I have other posts that go more in depth on them. I think Jonathan’s arc should be about family & learning to balance self care & his protection of family.
I like Robin/Nancy & Eddie/Steve just fine but they are literally fanon crack ships fed by the writers for fun & the intensity over them needs to chill. They’re not queer baiting. Despite enjoying the dynamics themselves I’ve had to blacklist them because fans annoy me with the over the top attitudes.
Whoo there we go Lmao
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goodbyeapathy8 · 1 year ago
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Thoughts on unsolicited constructive criticism
[Posting this separately vs as a response on an already long thread]
Former English lit + philosophy major who has a LOT of thoughts on unsolicited concrit & dominated a Discord discussion on this recently... *takes a deep breath, plz buckle your seatbelts for this ride* *in this essay I shall-*
AO3 is a different landscape than other sites for me, personally, and social media in general. It's an escape for me. A playground, so to speak.
It's a place where I go to practice my writing without fear of perfection. Perfection is what holds me back from actually working on my original works and submitting the damn manuscripts to an agent so I can be published and live my dreams as someone who's paid to write.
And when I go to the playground, I'm not looking to hear "you're swinging the wrong way" or "that's not how you go down the slide".
Most people, and I say this kindly, do not know how to give actually good concrit. This is not being elitist but it's actually pretty hard to critique and be helpful. It's not easy, at all.
A lot of people struggle to tell the difference between feedback and opinion. Objectivity and subjectivity can be hard to differentiate, to b e very honest. Social media has encouraged us to opinionate constantly. What I'm interested in when I write isn't your opinion. It's how you feel. Did my words move you? Did you laugh?
Especially if the work is not completed. How do you actually know that what you're criticizing won't be cleared up at the end? How do you know the author isn't going back to edit it afterwards? And... why do you assume the author doesn't know?
For me, I know the fics I post up aren't perfect. Again - the playground idea. I'm aware of most of my writing flaws.
Here's my usual rant about perfection as it pertains to capitalism. There's this really weird expectation for free labor as well as perfection in today's world that I blame corporations and capitalism for.
We, as human beings, are messy, incomplete, works in progress. Very few of us achieve the level of perfection because most of us don't have entire teams that help us get to that point, which corporations and celebrities have. A lot of us, thanks to the internet, have been exposed to levels of perfection that it is simply impossible for the average person to get to.
I've been in the process of decolonizing and that applies to reading as well. The capitalist standards for perfection in published works (having continuity, character development, grammar, spelling, etc etc) - why should they matter in fanfic?
Perfection is an artificial and unobtainable notion.
Likewise - thinking authors are looking for concrit in order to "improve" their writing is a huge assumption. Again - capitalism. I rebel against the idea of having to improve for the sake of improving because that's "progress".
Write for fun. Post for fun. Do it because it's fun, not because you have an end goal or society thinks you should have one, anyways.
Like advice, unsolicited concrit also assumes that the author is on the same page as you - willing and able to receive it, without spiraling. So many of us struggle with our mental health and a lot of us use AO3 as therapy, whether right or wrong (almost used "write" instead of right). I'd rather err on the side of "do the least harm as possible, especially on the internet, with strangers" emphasis on strangers. None of my readers know where I am, health wise, on any given day. Choose kindness.
I get the intent of unsolicited concrit and that most of it comes from a place of "wanting to help". I'm not a doctor but I take the Hippocratic oath seriously. I find that most people have this desire to "want to help" but do not have the thought in the back of their minds to "do no harm while helping".
So many things are free in the world we live in today. We used to have to pay ten cents to send a text and I think that idea was engraved in my head so I try to be careful with my words. But a lot of folks are used to internet being fast and things being posted quickly and immediately so I feel like there's less cautiousness in general. It costs people nothing to leave a comment within seconds, without a thought.
Last point - the Dunning Kruger scale. I think the people who are most qualified to give criticism, don't. And people that aren't, do.
At the end of the day, I see the choices in leaving a comment and what that achieves as a result. For me, the goal in commenting is really the fact that I'd love for the author to continue writing. And when it comes to "do no harm" I find that attempted concrit leans hard on preventing authors from writing or making them pause.
Let people have the freedom to play without consequences. This is a playground, not a boardroom.
I like the idea that I'm contributing some joy and happiness back to the world by my fics. There's not enough of it. And by equivalent exchange, I'd love if readers contributed that back in comments by encouraging authors. That, to me, is the truly helpful aspect versus any sort of critical feedback.
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radfae · 2 years ago
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plz give us your opinions on the new toh ep queen <3
okay i apologize in advance bc i’m like almost done writing this while i add this disclaimer and i’m realizing it’s VERY ramble-y and my adhd brain keeps rapidly switching topics but i hope this makes sense HAHA
IT WAS GOOD! it wasn’t nearly as gut-wrenching as the last one but i do appreciate some good ship action (raeda and huntlow tugging on my heartstrings fr). a lot happened this episode and i feel like a big theme was character development and personal exploration, we saw that a lot with hunter, but most of all luz and willow! it makes me really happy to see luz get her palismen (palisman??) finally and string bean is so adorable! i was team snake btw so i’m happy with this outcome. a lot of people say that boscha was really annoying this ep but honestly i didn’t think so? i mean, she was a bit, but she’s clearly not a villain here; she’s just a traumatized mean girl teenager handling things badly. she’s developed some pretty bad abandonment issues from losing her grudgby team to the collector, and ended up taking those out on amity, which isn’t…great, but people are treating her worse than belos this episode lmao?? but ANYWAY i’m very happy to see hunter again <3 and i’m happy that his development is moving in a positive way. not everyone is happy about him having magic from flapjack, but i think it’s nice; it reinforces that flapjack is still with him, even if he’s not physically present, which is a nice sentiment. and like i am sorry he is going thru it or whatever but i MISSED him being an annoying angry boy,, and OH MY GOD “you mean a lot to me too” “cool, happy to help” KILL ME NOW?!?! THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.,,,, and i’m glad they focused on willow here too because it made me like her a lot more than i did previously. and ok going back to raeda the “i just like to come out and see raine” i don’t remember if that’s exactly what she says but eda literally risking being caught by the collector who still thinks she’s the owl beast just to see raine,, AND RAINE’S LOOK IN THE BEGINNING WHEN SHE GOES INTO HARPY MODE…… omg they’re in love. and i’m choosing to say raine is a lesbian bc it makes my heart happy. switching gears completely to camila,, just,,, in general,, her being a mother figure to so many of the kids and her conversation with luz to amity saying “you and luz are a lot alike”,, i love her so much i cannot believe there was a point in which she was controversial in the fandom. i’ve always been a camila defender. OKAY BUT THE ACTUAL EPISODE ANYWAY the collector is obviously being set up for a redemption arc of sorts; they’re really pushing the idea that he’s just a kid and doesn’t want to really hurt people, and it’s clear that he really did care about king (defending him from the coven head i forgot her name sorry lol, respecting his boundaries with his rabbit and not touching it, calling him his best friend, immediately not trusting belos when he said king has it out for him) and that’s why he’s taking his ‘betrayal’ so hard. i did NOT expect him to team up with belos ngl, i thought that this episode would be them defeating the collector and next ep would be belos, as like a first and final boss type of thing, but this is like. so much better lol. AND SOMEONE ON TWITTER POINTED THIS OUT BUT belos is ALWAYS looking down on people, specifically at hunter; there’s always a specific camera angle to showcase it, but in this episode, in his weakened state belos finally looks up at someone: caleb. belos has always been in a position of power in every relationship we’ve seen with him so far, EXCEPT for caleb. caleb is the only situation in which he’s been the dependent. which is really being showcased here and i liked the imagery,, and i’m curious as to why belos chose raine in particular? like obviously this is going to be used for some raeda plotline which i personally don’t mind actually but like. obvious excuse for ship angst is obvious. but i hope there’s some other reason than just “let’s make eda upset hehehehe” u know what i mean. oh and raine mullet,, pretty. if i had a nickel for every time belos possessed someone and they got a mullet i would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice right.
i’m excited to see how things go with the collector next episode (new noceda sibling real?) and i’m excited to see king, eda and luz’s reunion! i really need eda and camila to meet like NOW. i also really hope that hunter is the one who gets the final blow on belos, like sorry to luz or whatever i know ur the protagonist and that’s your moment but he DESERVES it. and obviously luz isn’t going to stay in the human realm indefinitely but with her mom i’m wondering how they’ll work things out; maybe there will be a more stable portal and luz and camila will be able to pass through both worlds and visit as they please? or will camila just stay in the demon realm with luz? idk!!! i can’t wait for next episode but knowing we’re officially on our final hiatus and that the cast just finished recording for the last episode is also :’D a bit miserable. sad to see it go but excited at the same time
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italoniponic · 2 years ago
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nsnannskwnwi92o2ekdasna
Okay first off happy 1k cherry! You deserve it so much!! Your writing is so delectable I'm so happy you reached this big milestone! You are such a shining star and an amazing person, you're very talented and very sweet so im not that suprised that so many people like you and your work. I also hope that I'm here to see you reach more milestones like these in the future!
Number 2. I KNOW I LIKED THAT EVENT THING BUT IT DISSAPPEARED FROM MY LIKES AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT BY MISTAKE IM SO SORRY😭 (pando tysm for refreshing my memory)
may I pretty plz request your opinions on Chizuru Yoshida or Ayane Yano (from kimi no todoke) and if you dont mind I wanna also request character bingo with dear yulia's opinion on cater!
Thanks so much, Yako <3 your message was really sweet! I hope you can reach high grounds in the future too and we can both grow together, as blogs and ofc as people too. Lots of success for you too~ also don’t worry, I’m just happy with having your ask <3
I want to also communicate here that I felt like one bingo didn’t cover much my opinions, so I’ll be doing the one I mentioned in the event post alongside the unhinged bingo (just bc it’s really funny)
now, for Chizu-chan and Yano-chin~ [we get Cater later]
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I want to adopt Chizuru and Yano is such a gem. It’s been a while since I last watched Kimi ni Todoke but I’m currently finishing reading the manga and, let me say, I was really (gladly) surprised since episode 1 that Chizuru and Yano would become such good friends for Sawako in all ways
Because they really start off as a bit absent minded and just like everybody, they didn’t get that Sawako was really gentle and not-scary at all, but the friendship that grows between the three of them and as the manga/anime flesh out their characters, you simply fall in love with them. 
I love how Chizu is this big tall delinquent-ish (without actually being one) with a big heart and 100% air head in everything lol she’s so precious <3 as for Yano, at the same time I didn’t think much about her previously (more bc she’s a very solid character and that’s enough for me), reading the manga helped me see more of her and discover a lot of development and growth that was really interesting. Her arc is very deep but so good!
In summary, I love them! Like Hanajima and Uotani from Fruits Basket, Chizuru and Yano are another iconic best supporting friends duo for our beloved protagonists <3
hold up, it’s Cay-kun time~~
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Now, Yulia is an introvert and Cater is an extrovert. That alone sums up the situation they have lol While it’s true that Yulia is not so intimate of Cater as with other Heartslabyul boys (especially Deuce, Riddle and Trey), they have a normal acquaintance relationship and Cater treats Yulia like the little sister he never had: quiet and that don’t drives him crazy~
So in general they might not be besties~ but Cater likes Yulia’s presence in Heartslabyul and will try to spoil her a little bit (more like bribing her to help him take photos and eat at cafes so someone can dispose of the cute pies and cakes that he will never eat).
Yulia does know of Cater’s backstory and his inner sadness with all the personal stories she read about him previous to her isekai’d situation, and she relates to him about having to move out from where one was previously established a lot of times bc it happened to her too in her world. “He’s like me fr” — she cries a bit remembering it
But that’s how far and relatable Cater can be for her tho. Yulia senses really fast that Cater hides a lot of insecurities behind his facade and that his social-driven personality is very influenced by this problem too (at the same time, there’s a bit of truth in it). And yes, she will run away from having to go outside NRC in most cases bc she already dislikes interacting needlessly and going out really burns her out, so she has to be strong when Cater cries out that “it will be so fun to go shopping and see stuff!!~” and she denies. Sometimes too fast that it should be considered rude. 
Cater laughs at this, believe it or not. Maybe bc it reminds him of Idia and while Yulia is a bit more outspoken if measured next to Idia, she has most of his mannerisms and dislikes. Then again, Yulia’s quiet personality is something that Cater started to appreciate, especially next to the fact that he was surrounded by energetic girls like his older sisters. Also, Yulia has a sweet tooth, so Cater can always count on her to eat his leftovers from Unbirthday Parties when he couldn’t get Trey to change the flavor.
Yulia is not particularly someone who asks to eat something a second time but she is really, 100% thankful that Cater helps her out on that. 1) bc she doesn't need to ask for more herself, 2) her stomach is a black hole when it’s about cake and chocolate. 
In summary, Yulia gives a 6/10 for Cater in terms of good average relationship. No, she will not call him “Cay-kun” or “Cater-senpai” in a cute voice. All things considered, it would be easier to get her to say that than taking a picture together lol
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cat-eclipse-m · 9 months ago
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MADAME WEB BRAINROT - MOVIE ANALYSIS (SPOILERZZ!!!!)
HIHI QWELKOM I WANNA ANALYSE THE NEW MADAME WEB MOVIE (SPECIFICALLY THE CHARACTERS)
BTW THIS DOZ HAV SPOILERS SO PLZ CLICK OFF IF U DONT WANT ANY!!!!
i feel like the movie was rated really harshly, with like, a 13% something or whatever enjoyment rate
first off, the quality wasnt ACTUALLY that rubbish. lemme explain;of course, the fight scenes were kind of garbag, and all the camera angles during those scenes made people dizzy and ajegfdbjhersgfde... but i think for like, general scenes, the camera angles and shot types were actually pretty good choices, especially in the first half of the movie.
MC/MW/CW - CHARACTER ANALYSIS
i got really FUCKING angry at how BITCHY Cassey Web was (MC) and i just kept thinking to myself, HOW IN THE LIVING SHIT WAS BEN FRIENDS WITH HER. But although she was such a fucking WHORE her character development was actually amazing and the way she changed was so effective the way it was implemented. sure, she was angry at scenes and didn't do that well under pressure, but every human has flaws, right? she also learnt to appreciate things like her mother, who she HATED all her life, and the 3 kids sHE MANAGED TO ILLEGALLY ADOPT. her growth as a character was actually fascinating, seeing how someone could change throughout their journey.
JC+MF+AC - CHARACTER ANALYSIS
okay so, Mattie was a BITTTTTCH. she was your stereotypical mean/cool girl, and she would always talk back and rebound off of what people say. i hate how she was picking on Julia, ffs girlie cant even catch a bREAK!!! she was kinda stubborn and really dense, always wanting to get her way and all. but towards the end Mattie starts to become nicer, or, if you'll put it, less harsh. Mattie also helps Julia embrace more of her confident side, like getting her to talk to this group of boys and even getting her to dance on the table to have fun. Julia was always that kinda shy girl, the kinda bookworm that has a teddy bear they sleep with but also knows taekwondo. she's always been a bit of a pushover, but atleast tries to stand up for herself. she's also the only one who really apologises for doing something wrong and really acknowledging what she's done. okay. Anya Corazón. she was actually my favourite out of the trio. her personality was very laidback and calm, and she's more of the type to go with whatever life gives her. she's not too opinionated and still has the heart to disagree with things, and her calm demeanour helps her to stay put and make desicions.
okay Ben doesnt get that much screentime but he's a G he carried
mr nice guy fr^^^^^^
the ideas were actually great, amazing, fantastic even, however, the screenplay/writing/layout of the way they decided to portray could've been improved by a longshot. although, there were inherently funny scenes that really made me laugh, and sprinkling in a bit of comedy is always great.
the line Santiago said; "When you take on the responsibility, great power will come."
ANALYSIS; this piece of dialogue could help to suggest that when you're ready to face the consequences and hardships of whatever, then you'll be able to power through and keep going.
one thing i'd like to suggest is that, for madame web, they should have cassey work on her powers and show her actually PRACTICING or WORKING on how to use them. that one scene where she just DISCOVERS she can manipulate herself to have her bodies in MULTIPLE places at once was so sudden and they could've given us evidence that she atleast practiced or that she ABSOLUTELY KNEW how to maneuver this technique.
overall, funny film. it wasnt downright dogshit, but its not the best of the best. i think it was rated too harshly, but thats just my opinion. <3
thank u guys for sticking here reading my shitty analysis <333
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stellamancer · 8 months ago
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okay ari, i know that you said that i didn't have to respond to what you said, but how could i possibly!! stay silent after you wrote me that entire essay!!!! i read through it all but i'll be responding bit by bit plz bear with meeeee.
I FEEL LIKE CALLING THIS FIC ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE GOJO FICS EVER IS!!! SUCH A NICE THING TO SAY I WANNA CRY AUGHHHH.
actually when i was starting out i wasn't quite sure which poem i wanted to use, there were a couple that i was considering (and if i had split the fic up i would have used them all), but i ended up choosing this one because throughout the entire fic, due to their looping reader is constantly in a state of being both alive and dead. not just physically i think, but mentally as well. i guess the loop itself serves as a kind of box when you think about it.
i'm glad that reading the loops was enjoyable! i felt like i was really straddling the line between being repetitive enough to convey the loops and being too much LMAO. i was afraid the repetition would be a turn off. especially since it was repetition of canon events, albeit through reader's eyes.
AND I SEE U TOO ARE A PERSON OF CULTURE. i wouldn't say that i seek out time loop media… it finds me. LMAO. and this is low-key a love letter to those series very low key though.
aND YES THE ARC WORDS. it's october 31, 2018!! halloween in shibuya!! i actually did a live reading of the fic after i finished and someone said when they were reading it later that they could hear my voice when they read it LMAOOO. in normal circumstances i love my thematic repetition and it felt even more appropriate here to hammer in that time loop.
reader in this fic is… they're such a trooper. like honestly, as i was writing i was actually a bit worried like!! maybe they are too calm!! but i've rationalized it as… they are very focused on getting out their situation and. i think there were probably some loops where they were just losing their shit and. it ended the same. doesn't help so might as well try and be productive.
AND YEAH FIXATING ON GOJO. you're right, reader is so real for that. because like, you're stuck in a time loop where you keep dying but at least there's something nice to look at. even if it's a hot guy committing violent acts. beggars can't be choosers LMAOO.
'a very twisted one sided slow burn…' omg i guess it is huh. though at the same time it doesn't feel like one… LMAO. but wrt to romance… i've said before that i would have done it if i thought it was possible, but it just… wasn't. hilariously enough, there wasn't enough time for that kind of development. i think ultimately, it would have detracted from the narrative too LMAO. all of reader's oogling of gojo was me in disguise wishing that i could smooch him LMAOOO.
I AM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU THINK I DID HIM WELL. characterization is always my top concern and EVERY SINGLE TIME i write him in a new scenario a new au it's like staring all over again, worrying that i'm doing it right. and in this fic in particular… it was all about balance. with the time loops and then gojo's behavior. unserious but serious enough. YOU CALL HIM CHARMING BUT ISN'T HE JUST BEING INSUFFERABLE??? though i guess that IS his charm. the mochi receipt… he's so… AUGHHH i need to punch something.
MAN IF I WERE GEGE THEN SUKUNA WOULD BE DOWN RIGHT NOW but alas. he's so… gojo is so GOOD. or he tries to be. bUT THE DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME LINE. it's just so funny to me. because he's sO…. AUGHHH. like OF COURSE SOMEONE WOULD AFTER U TELL THEM IN THAT NICE VOICE THAT YOU'D PROTECT THEM!!!! and thank god. i love kaiji tang's voice so much and as gojo!! this is an aside, for one of my mobile games he plays a character and. i didn't care for them before until gojo and i went back and listened to their voice lines and it was like 'oh hell yeah.'
honestly, once i got to the parts where reader started interacting with gojo was just. the best. LMAOO i hate him but he's so fun to write. (not true i don't hate him but i hate him).
i'm always so!! wahhhh everytime someone tells me they like my writing style. i think it's rather plain and barebones, like i don't… think it's particular poetic most of the time so i'm just… wahhhhh. BUT BRINGING UP DIALOGUE. if there is one thing i think i'm good at, it's THAT. and it KILLED me in that there is SO LITTLE OF IT in this fic (at least compared to the word count) because i am a dialogue writing kinda girl. i like doing a bunch of back and forth sO WHEN GOJO STARTED YAPPING I WAS JUST LIKE YES GOOD THANK YOU. the save scumming line was semi-thanks to my beta reader because that's how he described reader's CT.
i apologize for sealing your fate with him. if it makes you feel better i am also in gojo hell too LMAOOOO. but HE'S!! he's a good guy! a nice guy!! even if he's cocky and annoying. he probably recognized that reader was in a really rough spot since… they did do some crazy stuff to try and get him to just listen to them. AND LIKE. you say that he was believing in them…. but, gojo WAS thinking that… if it turned out that reader was his enemy he could definitely take them LMAO. a lot of his 'it'll be fine' things really translate to 'if this becomes a problem i can deal with it' this also extends to when he unseals them LMAO. with regards to reader… and reader does mention it at some point, but while he is being legitimately nice to reader because he's a good guy, he does have some sort of ulterior motive (that sounds so ominous LMAOOO).
A KENNY STAN THO!!! omg i'm FLOORED. but not like because you're a kenny stan, but because you feel like i did him well!! when i asked my beta for his opinion he was like 'i didn't read jjk to characterize that guy' so i had to rely on instinct (i actually re-read the chapters where he fights choso, yuki and takeba to try and figure out how to write him). but YEAH. he's oddly polite. and it is nice of him to make it painless. i think it's because reader did entertain him for the little bit that they talk and they're relatively respectful toward him (or maybe it's that their behavior makes it clear that they 'know their place' because they know they couldn't take him in a fight and they're obedient enough to not run away… well in the loops we see anyway).
AND THE I APPRECIATE IT LINE. when i was reading someone mentioned how that line is just so sad. because it really does sdhow their resignation. but you're RIGHT. reader is very used to death. and like. this is a secret, but that is something that i'm thinking will come up post unsealing for reader.
like i said earlier i love my thematic repetition and! time doesn't flow in the box!! i wanted it to start as early as i could so that when the reader got boxed it would seem like a natural conclusion, because from the get go my intent was for reader to be boxed LMAO.
sO. yes!! the name!! i mentioned elsewhere that i wanted to have their exchange of names feel like the completion of a bond. like. when you establish a social link in persona. like that LMAOOOO. contextually you'd think that would be a rank ten but…. remember how i said he does have some sort of ulterior motive…… it's not JUST so that reader's not just some person who gets lost in the carange of the shibuya incident heh heh heh… BUT YES READER'S FINAL THANK YOU. i really wanted that to be the last thing they say to him because. he really did save them. and it did mean something to him!! like!! we don't see it from gojo's perspective but just like how reader burns the glow of his eyes into their mind, the expression reader makes is also burned into gojo's mind.
actually, this is a tangent, but talking about how often people thank gojo reminds me of um… that one fic the witches brew which is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than this fic, but there's a line about how people don't really thank him ask how he's doing and stuff. and like. i think earnest people like reader and yuji and yuta thank him… earnestly, but his whole personality… probably makes it hard for people LMAOOO.
AND YES. i did think of leaving it off before that scene, but i ultimately decided to write the cliffhanger. i'm actually surprised it's being as well received as it is LMAOO. well some people are asking what happens bUT it really is fun to leave it open ended to let you guys come up with your own conclusions (in case i decide/don't have time to continue because i definitely do have ideas on what i wanna do with this lmaooo).
AHHH BUTTT IN LOVE WITH GOJO I CAN GET… the reader i understand, the fic maybe… BUT MEEEEE????? i'm just a little niku….
THANK YOU!! I!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the fic so much!!! AND like i definitely have been where you are- going absolutely insane over a fic where i won't shut up about it (ao3 bonking me at LEAST three times for exceeding comment character limit). reading your comments was really such a joy like!! seriously!! i do hope my secret reveals over what was going on in gojo's mind… aRE NOT TOO SURPRISING LMAOOO or disappointing? i feel while he did believe in reader he also… believed that he would be able to take things into his own hands if there were problems. BUT YES. dont't apologize for your comments or throwing it all at me!! i slurped it all up LMAOOO. i'll… i'll pat him i suppose… i guess he deserves it a little. but realy thank you so much for taking the time to read my fic and leave this treasure of a comment… i actually need to print it out and hang it on my wall. LMAO put it in my little gojo….corner. i hope you also have a wonderful week!!!!!
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beyond the unending night (reader + satoru gojo)
notes: it's finally here. the long awaited halloween fic. yes, i know it's march, but i did start working on it in september. haha. there's so much i could say, but i will leave it at that this fic is, in every sense, a fic that i would not normally write. and yet here we are.
contains: f!reader (no physical description or gendered language is used), no explicit romantic pairing (though you don't have to look hard to find the reader x gojo implications), major character death (played with), semi-graphic depictions of death, blood and violence, minor suicide ideation, canon retelling (lines of dialogue are pulled from the jjk english dub because i'm a dirty dub watcher). opening poem is from higurashi no naku koro ni (minagoroshi-hen). fic title is from giga's beyond the way.
please note that this is a time loop fic and, by nature contains repeating scenes (particularly from canon). please do not read this fic if you do not like that sort of thing.
wc: 21,883 read on ao3 (account required)
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Please tell me what happened in this night. It's like the cat inside the box.
Please tell me what happened in this night. You don't know if the cat in the box is dead or alive. Please tell me what happened in this night. The cat in the box was dead.
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The first time, it is instant— you don’t even know what’s happening.
The second, it is by flame, but you barely realize it, barely feel it— a second of mind numbing heat before nothing.
The third time, it is something slicing across your throat; you see the blood spilling everywhere, then the pain follows— a moment of pure agony before nothing.
The fourth time you realize what’s going on; what’s really going on.
You realize you’ve been dying.
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You think your head is going to explode.
At first, you think it’s because the subway platform is crowded, insanely so— there are hundreds of people shoved into this space alongside you, packed like sardines in a can. You’ve never been one for crowds, but it’s the reality of things when you live in Tokyo. For the most part, you’ve learned to accept it, but even this crowd is a little much and you wish you hadn’t listened to your friends when they said you should go party in Shibuya for Halloween; you don’t even like partying.
There’s a sharp pain in your temple followed by a thought so loud that it feels like someone is screaming it at you through a megaphone positioned right next to your ear.
It’s the night of October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
For the eighth time.
Before you can even question the thought, images flash in your mind’s eye, blurry at first before they come into focus. The platform gates open. Chaos ensues. People dropping onto the subway tracks— spontaneously bursting into flame— their heads, necks sliced off, stomachs cut open—
Bile rapidly builds up in your throat, and you clamp your jaw shut, trying to force it down. Not here. Not now. You try to focus on something else, anything else happening outside of your brain. There’s a pair next to you musing about the people standing on the subway tracks, wondering what the two (the four?) of them are talking about. You blink back tears as you look. You can only see two: a freakishly tall man with white hair dressed in all black, and another man, dressed in strange, yet more traditional looking garb. Are those costumes too? You don’t have a lot of time to think about it as another image forces its way into your brain.
Your corpse— lifeless on the ground.
Your corpse— burning to ash.
Your corpse— bleeding out.
You can’t hold it in any more. Every fiber in your being screams at you to get away from the subway tracks, but instead you rush toward them, shoving people left and right as your hands desperately reach the stability of the gate. You grip it like a lifeline as you retch over the side of it, the contents of your stomach spilling all over the subway tracks.
There’s a quiet murmur of disgust behind you but you can’t be bothered to respond. You need to get out of here. You need to leave. You need to do it before—
The gates open and the crowd starts to move like a tidal wave, pushing and shoving their way through the gate. You’re swept away, vomit long forgotten as you and a few dozen others tumble onto the railway.
Alarm bells go off in your brain, loud and deafening. A voice in the back of your head screams for you to get off the track! Get off the track now before—
The platform erupts into a cacophony of screams, drenched in horror, saturated in fear. You are surrounded by people, by corpses— beheaded, sliced open, bursting into flames.
Your terror roots you to the ground as the carnage ensues around you. It’s only when another person, another corpse, dressed in a magical girl costume collides with your body that you can finally move. But it’s too late, you realize, despaired and helpless, as your bodies fall to the ground.
It’s too late.
You die an eighth time.
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You think your chest is going to explode.
At first, you think it’s because it’s so hard to breathe, frustratingly so— there are hundreds of people squeezed into this space alongside you, packed like cattle for slaughter. You've never been one for crowds, but it’s the reality of things when you’re in Shibuya. For the most part, you’ve come to accept it, but this crowd is way too much and you wish you had just stayed home and ordered a pizza; though honestly, the thought of pizza kind of makes you sick.
There’s a dull throbbing in your forehead, followed by a thought so loud that it feels like someone’s hollering at you from a loudspeaker that’s been installed in your brain.
It’s the night of October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
You think it's the ninth time now.
Behind you, you hear a woman screaming, her voice crazed and terrified. You turn your head automatically to look at her and when you see her you realize you recognize her yellow and white magical girl costume. You can say with certainty that you’ve never seen her before and yet—
Before you can ruminate more on it, images— memories assault your mind’s eye with a clarity that is absolutely sickening. That woman colliding into you, your bodies slamming into the subway tracks before you both— Your stomach churns violently,
and you feel like you’re going to puke, but you force it down— can't afford to right now. Instead, you make your way over to the woman.
Her head is in her hands as she mutters over and over again about how everyone is going to die. People around her figure that being stuck in here with the crowd has probably gotten to her. You, however, know better.
“...hey,” you say softly.
Her muttering comes to an abrupt halt and slowly she raises her head to look at you. There’s a flash of recognition in her eyes and she grabs you violently by the shoulders. “You! You know, don’t you? That we’re going to die?”
If it weren’t for the fact that you have indeed experienced death here eight times already, then you would have thought she’s lost her mind. Slowly, you nod and she seems relieved by it, her grip on you loosening.
You can’t help but feel a little relieved too— glad to know that you’re not the only one experiencing this nightmare. There’s a voice in the back of your mind that’s confused though. Why is she only remembering now? But then again, it took you a few times before you realized yourself.
Around you people start to gasp, and you glance back toward the railway to see an abnormally tall man with white hair and dressed in all black jump down from the atrium onto the railway. He lands rather gracefully for someone who jumped at least one floor and starts to converse with the other three people (you think they're people— two of them are in some pretty wild costumes) on the track.
Wait. Isn’t it supposed to be just two people: the tall man and the one in the traditional clothes? Where did the other two come from?
“We have to get out of here,” the woman says. “Before they kill us.”
Her grip shifts from your shoulders to your arms and she starts to shove at everyone around you, trying to force her way through. She seems to know, just as well as you do, that any second now the gates will open and the crowd will start spilling onto the railway, littering the tracks with bodies and ash. Neither of you can let yourselves get swept up with the rest. If you do and you end up on those tracks, you’re as good as dead.
People move aside at a snail's pace, many of them too focused on trying to see what is going on on the subway tracks. This isn't good. You need to move faster or else—
The collective sound of the gates opening echoes in your head, a metallic hiss that makes your stomach fold into itself. Before either of you can stop yourselves, you both whip your heads back to look, to confirm, but it’s a mistake.
The briefest lapse in attention is enough to pull you both into the current of people, and try as you might to fight against it, the crowd splits you and the woman apart as it swallows you both whole. You’re both spat onto the tracks at the edge of the platform and your head collides with the metal rails of the track. It feels like your skull is about to crack in two, and it takes every fiber in your being to scramble to your feet. You're close enough to the platform that if you can just climb up it, then you'll be—
“Help! Help!”
It’s the woman’s voice. You turn to see that she ended up a couple meters away from you. She’s staring at you, eyes brimming with fear filled tears as she extends her hand in your direction. You take a step toward her, reaching out.
And then, her entire body is engulfed in flames, the skirt of her magical girl costume a ring of fiery death around her.
Her blood curdling scream is the only thing you can hear, her burning flesh, the only thing you can see. You don’t know what to do.
You can’t save her.
There's something touching your back. You can barely feel the pressure, but it's hot, scorching hot, mind numbingly hot, painfully hothothot.
You know this sensation. You have felt it before. The scent of burning cloth, burning hair, burning flesh clogs your nostrils. It's too late, you realize, helpless, despaired as the flames eat at your body— your soon to be corpse.
It's too late.
You die a ninth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the tenth time.
Your head hurts, but you ignore it. There’s something more important that you need to attend to. You immediately make your way to the woman you met during your last round, the one you watched burn to death. Her costume is still pristine, unmarred by fire and death.
For now.
She’s not screaming this time and while there’s a little voice in the back of your mind that’s concerned by this, you try to ignore it.
“Um, excuse me?” you say when she doesn’t acknowledge you as you approach.
The woman turns to look at you. You’re taken aback by the distinct lack of recognition and it feels almost as if the woman you encountered previously and the one before you now are two separate people. In a way, they technically are.
“Do I… know you?” she finally asks when you don’t say anything.
Your mouth is dry. How do you even answer that? You don’t know her. You just watched her die twice. You know her. She begged you for help. You couldn’t save her.
If you explain all of this you know she’s just going to think you’ve lost your mind. Maybe you already have— you’ve died nine times after all.
You give her a weak smile. “I… just wanted to tell you that you think your costume looks great.”
She blinks, taken aback by your words. There’s no doubt that she wasn’t expecting you to say that. It’s the truth though, her costume is nice; she’s dressed up as a character from a magical girl anime that was popular a couple years ago.
“Thank you! I made it myself!” The woman breaks out into a genuine smile and your heart hurts. In a few moments she’ll die and the costume she worked so hard to make will be nothing but ash on the subway tracks.
“Sorry,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.
“For?”
For watching her die. For not being able to save her.“...I just kind of came up to you all of a sudden…”
She laughs. “It’s okay.”
It’s not.
You consider telling her that she should try to move. That if she stays here she will die. You don’t want her to die. Again. You can still hear her screaming in your ears as she burned to death. You want to tell her.
You don’t.
“Stay safe, okay?” you say. It almost sounds like you’re begging.
She gives you another smile, kind and gentle and you think you’re far too undeserving of it for not telling her what fate will soon befall her. “You too.”
“I’ll try,” you say and move away from the woman just as the gates open and the crowd surges toward the railway. You do not fight it as you are swept up into the crowd and despite what you said, you do not try, this time, to stay safe.
You die for the tenth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the fourteenth time.
There’s a slight ache in your head, but it’s subtle enough that you can ignore it. The pain you feel lessens with each round and you think it’s a sign that your body no longer feels the need to remind you of the precarious situation that you’re in.
Or maybe you are just becoming numb to everything: your death, the death of the people around you, the death of the woman in the magical girl costume—
You try not to think about it too much as you reach into your bag to check the time on your phone: 8:37PM. There’s not a lot of time: you need to move.
At the very end of your last attempt to escape this nightmare you realized something. You need to know exactly what is going on around you so you can plan accordingly: where to not stand, where to not go. Up until now, you’ve relied almost solely on the knowledge gained from your previous failures to try and survive, but obviously it’s not enough to keep you alive. You’re not sure why you didn’t realize this earlier. The panic, maybe? The fear?
Maybe you really are becoming numb to all this.
Unlike previous iterations, this time you elect to move closer to the gate, positioning yourself somewhere against it where you’re unlikely to be pushed off the platform in a couple minutes when they open. You take great care to place yourself where you can see the ones responsible for the slaughter very clearly. At the beginning, you could only see one, the one who looks the most human, but with each repetition, the other two have become more and more clear. You wonder why. You don’t have time to think about it.
Murmurs nearby alert you to the arrival of the fourth major player involved in the night’s events. You look up and see the white haired man dressed in all black descending upon the platform like an angel from the heavens. This is your first time really looking at him and you realize there’s something almost inhumanly attractive about him. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it occurs to you that you shouldn’t even try; you don’t have the time to be drooling over some handsome stranger.
You’ve naturally never taken the time to try and listen to whatever the conversation the man and his opponents have before all hell breaks loose on the platform, but you try and lean closer to listen. It’s hard to hear over the dozens of conversations going on behind you, but you try anyway. There might be a clue to what’s actually going on— or better yet, a clue on how to get out of it.
It’s obvious that you’re missing context from what bits of the conversation you do manage to hear, but honestly it all sounds like stuff out of a shounen battle manga. There is one part of the exchange that you manage to hear with a startling sort of clarity. It feels almost as if your heart stops beating as your blood turns ice cold in your veins.
“If I run away, you’re just gonna kill everyone here, right?” the man in black asks.
There’s a pause, and if your heart was still beating it’d be long enough for just four heartbeats.
“If you run away?” The monster with cane repeats, the sadistic grin spreading wide across its features, displaying its charcoal black teeth. The gravelly sound of its voice sets fire to the blood in your veins, your stilled heart thumping wildly, in fear, in anticipation. Soon. It’s happening soon. You brace yourself. “We’re going to do that even if you don’t!”
You die a fourteenth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the seventeenth time now.
Things are going surprisingly well, even as the people around you tumble onto the tracks. You manage to hold on, desperation keeping you from falling into the abyss. This is good, you tell yourself, despite the fact that it’s not the first time you’ve achieved this. Every little victory is worth celebrating, but you have to remain vigilant. This is yet another information gathering loop, and while you know that maybe this time you’ll be lucky and live, there’s still a chance, a big one, at that, that you will die again.
You have to make the most of each and every death.
It’s such a morbid thought, but the ends justify the means, or so you tell yourself. If you have to die a few times to make it out of this unending nightmare, then so be it.
The spot you’re in is a good vantage point; it’s easier to see everything happening below you. It’s so good that it’s actually sickening. You watch as the monster with the cane and one with what looks like branches for eyes slaughter the people on the track, mowing them down, setting them aflame. In another life, in another many lives, that was you down there, and for what feels like the first time in forever, you feel like you’re going to be sick. You feel like, at some point, you likened the scene before you to some kind of shounen battle manga, but you think that was wrong.
This is borderline horror.
Everything plays out before you like a scene out of an action horror flick. If you didn’t know better, you’d think you were just an extra on set, but you know the reality is that you’re just an extra to whatever phantasmal battle is taking place in front of you. The monsters and the strangely dressed man all try to attack the man in black, but he manages to block every hit effortlessly, as if he is protected by some sort of invisible barrier. When it seems the two monsters are about to hit him, he merely jumps out of the way and the two monsters seem to collide, the force of their combined strength sending a gust of air throughout the crowd. The man in black neatly lands on a nearby platform half wall and says something about curse users, whatever those are, to the monsters, before he starts to mock them, pulling down his strange blindfold in the process.
And this, you’ve found, is where you start to get in trouble.
You clearly remember thinking, at some point, previously, that there was something attractive about this man. You still don’t know what it is. You haven’t had the time to try and figure it out, but there is one thing that you do know: you can’t keep your eyes off of him.
He drops back down onto the tracks, antagonizing his opponents in an arrogant tone as he approaches. When he comes to a stop between the two monsters, the second round of their fight begins. They try to hit him, but he dodges still, gracefully, fluidly, like the three of them are embroiled in some sort of passionate, yet violent dance.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he cruelly rips off one of the arms of the one-eyed monster.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he brutally kicks the branch-eyed monster in the abdomen, sending them flying to the other side of the platform.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he effortlessly hurls the one-eyed, now one-armed monster in the same direction, sending them smashing into the wall.
Only when the man in black seems to fly to the other side is the spell over you seemingly broken. Still, your eyes give chase, and your body too, rushing from one side of the platform to the other. You can’t lose sight of this fight, you tell yourself, settling in a spot you recall being safe during your last round. Doing so could mean another death, another loop, another October 31.
You watch as the man in black acrobatically dodges what looks to be vines or roots that the monster with branches for eyes seems to have summoned from the depths of the Tokyo metro. He lands on the monster’s shoulders, balancing on them as he uses its branch-eyes for leverage. The look in the man’s eyes is so crazed that you can see it from where you’re standing. He says something to it and then—
With a feral and sadistic smile, he rips their eyes straight out of their skull.
Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest as you watch the fight unfold. It is horrifyingly, disgustingly violent, yet still you watch as people on the track are killed by the human-like person, blood raining down as their freshly beheaded skulls go flying into the air. He and the one-eyed monster launch their counter attacks against the man in black and the blowback is so intense the power goes out causing everyone to scream.
There’s a faint glow where the man in black is standing that starts to grow brighter and brighter. You can make out his form turning to face the wall, and it seems almost like he’s slammed the monster that had branches for eyes against it with some sort of telekinetic power. Despite the panic from the people around you, you manage to hear him, chuckling like a mad man as he draws closer and closer to the monster.
The one-eyed monster yells out a name, a name you think must belong to the man, but he doesn’t hear it. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster as he extends his hands out toward the eyeless monster, exerting some kind of force that you can’t really see. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster as the eyeless monster’s entire body is vaporized in a flash of blue light. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster, as the lights flicker back on revealing a smoking crater stained with purple blood where the eyeless monster once stood.
But you do.
Satoru Gojo.
You make sure to remember that.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And this is the eighteenth time.
You watch as the man called Satoru Gojo stalks through the crowd of people on the subway tracks, chasing after the one-eyed fire monster. It throws people at him, in a clear attempt to slow him down.
It does not work.
Satoru Gojo climbs back onto the platform in a way that you can only describe as inhuman, and the people nearby shriek and move away from him, out of terror, out of fear. You, on the other hand, draw closer, refusing to lose sight of him.
He is relentless in his pursuit of the one-eyed monster. It continues to throw person after person at him, but he does not stop and the people float there, suspended in midair before they are gently lowered to the ground by some unseen force and scramble away.
No one dares get close to Satoru Gojo, everyone on the platform seems to know that doing so means certain death, yourself included. But you still feel the need to keep an eye on him. The monster and the strangely dressed man are focusing more on him than the crowd— anyone in between is just collateral damage.
But not you.
Especially since you’ve made it this far— you’ve never made it this far before.
A voice echoes throughout the platform; you realize it’s the automated announcement.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
You can hear everyone’s relief coming from all sides. The train is coming! The train is coming! A ripple of hope makes its way throughout the crowd. With the train comes the chance to get off the platform and the senseless violence that’s been happening here. Some of the people around you are talking excitedly and others are running toward the gates, toeing the yellow line they’ve been instructed to wait behind. And you, you should be excited, you should be hopeful.
All you feel is dread.
It eats at your stomach, at your chest, at your mind. Clawing and gnawing at you in a way that leaves you paralyzed on the platform. There’s something wrong here. You can’t be sure because you’ve never made it this far, never survived long enough for the train to come, but something is just not right.
No.
You must be paranoid. The train coming is a good thing. It has to be a good thing. You are just paranoid. It’s normal. It’s natural. Dying seventeen times would do that to anyone— rob them of hope, condemn them to an existence full of fear.
It is not lost on you that the thought of dying more than once, much less, dying seventeen times is not normal or natural in the very slightest.
But you need hope, you crave it, wildly, desperately. The hope of freedom, of escape is the only thing getting you through this unending nightmare. Every time you die, every time you wake, it is with the hope that maybe, just maybe this iteration will be different, maybe this one will be the one where you make it out, make it back to your friends who must be waiting for you, make it back home where you can be safe and sound. You need the hope to keep going. Because without hope, what will you have left?
The train screeches as it pulls into the station and the people around you laugh in both disbelief and relief. They start to push and shove toward it, fighting to be able to board because there’s no way everyone here will be able to get on an eight car train and being left behind at this point is practically synonymous with death. Unable to decide if you believe in the train as a symbol of hope or a new layer of fear, you are pushed along with the crowd toward it.
The doors of the train cars slide open and the current passengers all rush off as they disembark. You as well as everyone else on the platform can see with a horrifying clarity that the train is filled to the brim with monsters. Monsters that reach out and grab anyone their hands can reach. The woman to your left. The person to your right.
You.
Hope is gone.
What do you have left?
You die for the eighteenth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is probably the twenty-sixth time now.
If there is anything this entire ordeal has taught you, it is that you are resilient. Whether it is some innate trait that you never had any reason to uncover before or just a byproduct of being trapped in an unending cycle of being dead and not dead, you don't know. What you do know, though, is that even if you no longer have hope, you at least have your resilience.
Whether you want it or not.
You check the time. It’s 8:35PM. Something flickers in your chest, like a faint light in a sea of darkness, but you ignore it. You don’t have time right now.
With a nimbleness born from your previous failures, you weave your way through the crowd. You’ve done this enough times to know where the gaps are— who will yield and who won’t. Your destination is the escalator that leads off the platform and up to a higher part of the station. You’d noticed previously that the escalator along with every other entrance onto the platform will eventually be blocked by vines or roots of some sort (the work of the branch-eyed monster probably). It’s not a perfect plan because you don’t know what happens on the other side, but whatever it is has to be better than whatever is happening on the side that you’ve been on.
You’d tried to get to the stairs during your last two rounds, but you’d just missed it. You hadn’t been fast enough and had gotten caged and slaughtered along with the rest. But this time, this time you have more time. It’s just one minute, but it’s enough. You know it is.
The flickering in your heart grows stronger. Hope. You try not to pay attention to it— you don’t want to be disappointed yet again. But you want to so badly. A voice in the back of your mind tells you to focus on the good, tells you that if there was truly no way out of this endless nightmare, then why would you get more and more time with each round to escape your fate?
With that thought in mind, you break out into a run, recklessly rushing through the crowd, shoving anyone who will not yield to the side. Out of the corner of your eye you can see the stark white of Satoru Gojo’s hair as he descends upon the platform.
You need to get up those stairs.
Now.
If you remember correctly, the roots and vines don’t close off the area the moment he touches down, but a little after they start talking, so you think there is probably some time, but you can’t leave it to chance.
The stairs are packed, and for some reason no one is moving. The escalator right next to it is just as full and the power doesn’t seem to be working. You don’t have time for this. You clamber onto the escalator’s rubber handrail, ignoring the weird feeling that passes through your body as you do so. You don’t have the time to worry about whatever that is. The people around you start exclaiming around you, but you don’t care, you don’t listen. You wobble as you try to balance yourself and when you think you’re steady you try to run.
But you trip.
And you die for the twenty-sixth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This marks the thirtieth time.
And you have, finally, finally made it up the escalator, up the stairs with barely a second to spare. You pause, glancing back as the roots or vines or whatever the hell they are seal off the entrance to the platform. You notice that the area where the plants come down is actually fairly clear, despite the crowd. It seems weird, but you don’t dwell on it.
A strange feeling envelops your entire body and your legs turn into jelly. As you sink to the floor, you realize what you’re feeling is relief as all the tension, maybe thirty iterations of Halloween 2018 worth, seeps from your being. You don't remember the last time you felt anything other than fear and dread; it’s weird, but not unwelcome.
That voice in the back of your mind tells you that you can't relax just yet: October 31st isn’t over. Even though you have repeated this night again and again, burning the events that play out on the platform into your memory, you do not know a single thing that happens over here. It would be smart to scope everything out.
Legs still shaky, you rise to your feet and start walking. You think it’s probably for the best to try and head up to the surface and you make your way up to the next floor.
It’s packed with people here too, but relatively peaceful, especially when you compare it to the pandemonium taking place beneath your feet. Still, you can make out the undeniable hum of displeasure resonating throughout the crowd. People complaining about how uncomfortable their costumes are, people complaining about how much they want to go home, people complaining about how much their nights have been ruined because they couldn’t meet up with their friends and—
A thought hits you like an eight car train.
You were supposed to meet up with your friends.
That’s why you were on the platform in the first place— you were waiting for them to arrive, but then the trains stopped working, and people just started pouring into the station out of seemingly nowhere (you think you heard some people say they’d come from the crossing?). Soon after that is when everything went to shit.
You check your phone, though, for once it’s not to look at the time (8:56PM). Instead, you open LINE to check your friends’ group chat. There’s no signal here, for whatever reason, so if there are any new messages, you haven’t received them. The last one was from Kei, mentioning he was enroute, but as far as you know, you’re the only one who made it to Shibuya before the trains stopped.
Did one of them maybe make it here though? Surely, you would have run into them if—
The image of a woman in a magical girl costume fills your vision, burning to death before your very eyes as her screams echo in your ears. It is the first time in what feels like forever that you’ve thought about her and your stomach churns violently. You couldn’t help her, you can’t even help yourself, so how could you even expect to do the same for your friends if they were here? The mere thought of having to watch them die over and over is almost enough to send you over the edge. You don’t know if you could do it.
Would you even have a choice?
No. You can't think like that. You have choices. You've had choices. If you didn’t then, you would still be down below, among the fire and brimstone. Dying, if not dead already. However, instead, you are up here, where, for the moment, it is quiet and peaceful.
That thought, in of itself, is enough to give you a shred of solace, a glimmer of hope.
You take a deep breath and fiddle with your phone a little more, changing your lock screen to a picture you and your friends took at a photo booth not too long ago. The four of you are huddled together, faces squished as if you're all struggling to fit in the frame, despite there being plenty of room. You're mid-laugh because it's the first time you've been in a photo booth in years, Mio and Shin are grinning mischievously and finally, Kei is smiling, but only just slightly, the embarrassment clear on his face. It's probably only been a few months since you all took this picture, but the fact that it feels like it's been years makes your heart ache.
You press your forehead to the screen, like a prayer, like a promise.
You will make it out of this nightmare.
No matter what.
A shrill scream yanks you from your thoughts and you are instantly on your feet, alert as your eyes flit around frantically to identify the source. It doesn't take long for you to find it and when you do, you think you might have stumbled upon a new layer of horror to this nightmare.
It’s not the corpse, dangling by a noose, that terrifies you— by now you’ve seen dozens upon dozens of dead bodies that the sight of just one more doesn’t faze you in the slightest. The thing that’s the most mortifying, that’s the most disturbing is that right next to where the body is tied are two girls, two teenage girls still dressed in their school uniforms.
You can accept monsters and weirdly dressed men being responsible for the carnage tonight, but children too? Both girls look like they’re barely in high school and try as you might to rationalize things, to chalk it up to coincidence, you cannot ignore the ominous energy radiating from them.
The very notion that these two children could have killed someone here is a hard pill to swallow, but so is the fact that you’ve died.
And you’ve had to swallow that pill thirty times now, so what’s once more?
“Listen up!” one of the girls yells over the crowd, but she is mostly ignored; you don’t think everyone here has noticed her and the corpse dangling from the rafters. She scowls and turns to the other girl and says something quietly to her. The other girl nods and almost instantly she’s stringing up another person, another example. You want to look away so badly, and yet you cannot bring yourself to and you watch the poor soul choke to death.
“I said listen, you dumb monkeys!” the girl shouts, and this time she’s caught most of the crowd’s attention. “If you don’t want to end up like these two, you’ll listen to what we have to say!”
There is clear dissent among the crowd, people dismissive as they utter their disbelief. Some seem to think it’s a prank, but you know better. It takes two more examples before the crowd goes silent before the two high schoolers.
“About damn time!” The girl roars and then points toward the atrium, which is currently covered by roots and branches. “All of you move over there!”
You have a bad feeling about this.
Still, you comply; the girls have made it abundantly clear that failure to do so will result in death, though, at this point, you're almost certain this iteration is a bust and death is all but imminent. You try to keep positive— thinking you can at least gather information or, who knows, maybe there's a chance that this one is the one.
Yet when you step onto the mound of vines and branches that cover the atrium it feels as if you've crossed the threshold into hell. Your footing is stable… but for how long?
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
It's faint, but you can hear the announcement from below. The liquid in your stomach curdles at the sound as you recall the train and, in particular, what is on board. Soon enough, those monsters will be swarming the platform, massacring everyone in reach, guzzling down their blood, feasting on their flesh—
It dawns on you that the people on the platform are the monsters' first course.
And you, and those around you here in the shrubbery, are the second.
As you realize this, the branches and vines disintegrate beneath your very feet and suddenly you are mid air— falling, falling into the abyss below.
You die for the thirtieth time.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
You've done this nearly sixty times now.
After countless failures, you've decided that you're just not going to go upstairs any more. No matter where you try to go, you still end up herded onto the death trap above the platform where you ultimately fall to your death. You've tried positioning yourself in the same spot, tried bracing yourself for the drop— but nothing seems to work: upon landing, assuming you manage to land without hurting yourself or dying in midair (which has happened a couple times) you get grabbed and killed by one of the monsters from the train. It's probably not impossible, you just don't have the physical prowess or reflexes for it.
If anything, you can try again later, but you sincerely hope you don't have to.
It's 8:32PM, and you have plenty of time to get to your chosen spot for this loop— it's close to the stairs, in the very center of the platform. Here, there's little risk of getting pushed off onto the tracks when the gates open. You'll probably have to move when the train comes, or even before (assuming you survive) to avoid the monsters, but you'll get to that when it's time.
You can't really see the fight once it breaks out after Satoru Gojo arrives, but you still try to keep track of it as best as you can. You see when he hurls both monsters across the platform and you're not sure if it's muscle memory or what but you have to fight the urge to move to the side and watch. It's been a while, yes, but you've seen the fight countless times before— it doesn't change. Satoru Gojo will give chase. He will rip the branches from the branch eyed monster's skull. He will use some kind of power to eviscerate them.
You don't need to watch, but there's something in you that wants to.
It doesn't make sense, you've seen it all before; if you're unlucky you'll see it all again.
The lights go out and people start screaming; Satoru Gojo is ending the life of that one monster. Soon enough he'll be back on the platform, in pursuit of the other. You think at that point it would be good to move, reposition yourself as far from the incoming train as possible.
When he rises from the tracks like a demon straight from hell, you realize it's the first time this loop that you've actually gotten a good look at him. You remind yourself, again, that this isn't the first time you've seen this man, this scene. You can't help but watch, but stare at Satoru Gojo as he stalks through the crowd in pursuit of his prey. His expression is an eerie sort of calm that's at odds with the acts of violence you've seen him commit— his eyes an unnaturally bright blue.
He's a terrifying sort of beauty and you can't help but be captivated by him.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
The sound of the announcement sends your heartbeat into a frenzy, snapping you out of your little trance. The train is coming and you need to get moving. As you dart to the edge of the platform, the thought occurs to you that even if you avoid the initial wave of monsters, it's likely you will inevitably be caught by them and killed. It wouldn't be impossible for Satoru Gojo to turn his attention to them instead of the two he's currently facing, but he's just one man— can he truly defeat all those monsters?
You can see the train pulling in and you brace yourself, praying that it'll work out somehow.
The doors hiss open and the screaming starts again as the monsters come bursting out of the train, biting and mauling anyone they can get their hands on. Those who were lucky enough to not be at the front start to scramble away and the monsters give chase. Your body is taut, ready to try and dodge any that come your way.
Out of the corner of your eye you notice something moving through the air. A person? With blue hair? You take the risk to look— they're attacking Satoru Gojo. He tries to punch them but they fly away from him to dodge— disappearing into the crowd.
You hear a loud cracking sound over the cacophony of the crowd and your stomach twists; you know what that sound is. The roots above the atrium disintegrate and bodies from above start to rain down onto the platform.
And then, you're not sure what happens— it's so quick that you only manage to see what looks like an explosion of blood surrounding Satoru Gojo. Corpses litter the ground around him and even from here you can tell he is shaken by the carnage.
The monsters have finally reached where you're standing, and you duck under one as it lunges at you. Although it's big and scary, you realize it's moving kind of slow. Right after it another one comes at you and you take a side step to avoid it; this monster is kind of slow too.
Maybe you can do this.
As soon as you think that a strange feeling courses through you. Every hair on your body feels like it's standing on edge and the voice in your head is telling you to look at Satoru Gojo. You don't understand why because you think he's the least of your worries right now, but you do it anyway.
He's in some sort of stance, one hand raised to his face, fingers bent in some kind of gesture. There's some sort of aura, oppressive and frightening emanating from his form.
Satoru Gojo is doing something.
You just can't tell what.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you are utterly confused.
Barring your first few loops when you weren't fully aware of what was happening, you have very distinct memories of how each of your previous iterations of this night have gone— of each and every one of your deaths. But for your last round, the last thing you remember was feeling the immense power radiating from Satoru Gojo's body, but that's it.
You do not remember dying.
In fact, you don't think you did.
And yet, here you are again, back at the start: it's 8:32PM and the monsters and strangely dressed man are standing on the subway tracks waiting for the arrival of Satoru Gojo.
You don't understand what's going on; you didn't die but you're still stuck in this damn loop. Up until now, your death has served as the trigger to restart the loop. It's not impossible that maybe you suffered a quick and painless death but you're almost certain that isn't the case.
Something else must have happened.
Something having to do with Satoru Gojo.
You have to find out what. If you don't, you won't know how to avoid it, and if you can't do that, then you really might spend an eternity stuck in this nightmare. And so you take great care to repeat the steps of your last round. You need to make sure to survive to the same point you made it to last time.
Miraculously, you do.
The moment you feel that sensation again, a prickling sort of feeling that envelops your entire body, your eyes are on Satoru Gojo— trying to figure out what the hell he's doing. His eyes are crazed with a desperate kind of focus. You see his mouth move— he's saying something. A spell? A prayer? A curse?
You don't know.
You do know.
Your brain feels like it's going to explode.
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Again.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
Again.
You do not know how many times it's been the night of Halloween in Shibuya: you stopped counting around the hundredth loop. It feels like it's been a while since then. Or maybe it hasn't? You don't know any more.
What you do know is that this night ends up going one of two ways before you are forced to repeat it. Either you die, in some way, shape or form or something happens just after nine that forces you to reset. You still don't know what it is exactly; you only know that Satoru Gojo is responsible for it.
You do prefer it to dying— it's far less painful.
But if anything, you wish you could just die permanently and never have to repeat this night ever again.
Unfortunately, you know better.
The only good thing you’ve noticed about all of this is that you really do seem to keep waking up earlier and earlier. The last time you checked, it was at around 8:30. It might take hundreds of thousands of loops, but eventually you’ll certainly wake up early enough to avoid this damn entire mess.
But by the time that happens… will your sanity still be intact? Will you really be able to go back to a normal day to day life after living the equivalent of hundreds of years, repeating the same night over and over again? You don’t even know how you’ve managed to stay sane all this time and as much as you want to believe you could do it…
There has to be a breaking point.
For both your mind and this time loop.
If you’re lucky, you’ll reach the latter first.
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There’s a dull ache in your head that feels foreign yet familiar. Your mind is foggy, all your thoughts hazy as you try to recall what the word for this feeling is.
Groggy.
It feels as if you’ve woken up from a nap and you blink the sleepiness away from your eyes. When was the last time you took a nap? It’s been a while… You think you maybe tried once or twice, but you were too nervous, too on edge. Awake or asleep, it didn’t matter because, either way, you were doomed to repeat this nightmare.
As you think this, you realize that something is different.
You’re used to how the start of each loop feels like waking up suddenly and abruptly and it becomes clear to you that you haven’t looped. This is completely uncharted territory.
You need to find out what’s going on.
The first thing you notice is that it’s quiet. Almost eerily so, especially when the last thing you remember was screaming and chaos. You glance around you and find that it looks like all the monsters from the train are dead, the ground littered in their bloodstains and corpses. There were so many of them, you don’t know how someone could have wiped them out so quickly… Could it possibly have been Satoru Gojo’s doing?
More concerning than the complete eradication of the monsters is the fact that nearly everyone else on the platform is standing stock still, their mouths ajar with blank expressions on their faces. It’s almost as if their souls have completely vacated their bodies…
Were you like that too before you woke up?
You hear voices, and your body immediately goes tense as you turn your head in their direction. A little ways ahead of you, you see a man dressed as a monk conversing with the blue haired person from earlier and before them is—
Your heart nearly stops: it’s Satoru Gojo, restrained and on his knees.
Honestly, you can’t make heads or tails of the conversation they’re having; it’s more shounen battle manga nonsense. Satoru Gojo doesn’t seem to be enjoying their conversation either, and he interrupts them, clearly annoyed.
“Are we gonna do this or what?” he asks. “The view sucks and I’m just kinda bored.”
“I wanted to enjoy this sight for a little bit longer, but you are right,” the monk says. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen— gate, close.”
When he says that, Satoru Gojo’s restraints move, the weirdly shaped cubes at the ends of them closing in around him, trapping him in a giant red cube. It starts to shrink until it’s small enough to fit in the monk’s hand.
You gulp and hope they don’t notice that you’re awake. The fact that they haven’t slaughtered the rest of the people standing around you is a good sign, but you don’t want to find out what happens if they know you’re cognizant.
It’s not hard to play the part of a living statue, especially when you compare it to everything else you’ve had to suffer through on this night. You watch as the monk’s allies, the ones who had attacked everyone on the platform, wake up, but before they can do or say anything, the box holding Satoru Gojo slips through the monk’s fingers and makes a dent in the concrete. The look on the monk’s face makes it clear that it’s a problem he wasn’t expecting.
You don’t know a damn thing about Satoru Gojo, but you feel like this kind of thing is the norm for him.
The blue haired person suddenly looks in your direction and you nearly stop breathing. Have they noticed you? It takes everything in you to keep perfectly still, in hopes that maybe they didn't, that maybe they’re looking at something else. They raise their arm and it extends, their hand acting like some kind of projectile. You almost shut your eyes and brace yourself for impact, but their hand flies upwards and hits something on the ceiling, destroying it.
Inwardly, you breathe a sigh of relief— you’re still safe.
For now.
You listen to their following conversation and while you still don’t fully understand everything, it’s clear they’re talking about what to do next since they’ve taken care of Satoru Gojo. Something having to do with someone named Yuji Itadori? The group seems split on what to do about him but it’s clear he’s their next target.
Eventually, everyone but the monk (you heard the blue haired person, who is apparently named Mahito, call him Geto?) runs off, probably to find this Yuji Itadori person. Once they’re gone, Geto speaks and, at first, you think he’s talking to you, but it becomes clear he’s addressing someone else. “Those cursed spirits are actually smarter than the two of you.”
“Give him back!” a voice hidden among the crowd hisses. Your blood runs cold at the sound. You recognize it; it’s one of the high school girls from the upper floor.
“We cooperated with you fully and kept dropping monkeys for you,” says another voice; it must be the other girl that was with her, the one who hung all those people.
“Now give us back Master Geto’s body like you promised!”
“Don’t toy with Master Geto any further than you have!”
You blink in confusion. Isn’t the monk named Geto? The way the girls are talking it sounds like they’re talking about someone else… Is it possible that the body is ‘Geto’ but the person they’re talking to is someone else possessing it? It sounds kind of crazy, but then again, so is every single thing you’ve experienced tonight.
Your suspicions concerning this ‘Geto’ are confirmed only seconds later as he says, “Now begone, or is it your desire to be killed by this body?”
One of the girls vows her revenge and you hear shuffling somewhere else in the crowd as they scurry away. Now you think it’s just you and whoever it is that’s puppeting Geto’s body. You see him plop down in front of the box (the prison realm, you think he’d called it) that’s holding Satoru Gojo.
“You can come out, you know,” he says after a while.
You freeze. The rest of the platform is completely silent. This time you think he might actually be talking to you.
“I know you’re there,” ‘Geto’ adds, his voice casual. “If you’re insistent on hiding, you should know that I’m not afraid of using whatever means necessary to smoke you out.”
Given everything his allies have done, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’s serious. You were hoping to hide out among the crowd until he decided to leave, but it looks like you won’t be able to now.
Looks like this loop is a bust after all.
Your heart starts to race as you weave your way through the crowd. In every single one of your loops, you were always treated like a bit character, never noticed or singled out by any of the major players of the night. Although this is your first time encountering this ‘Geto’ it’s clear to you that he’s involved with everything that’s happened here and honestly, you get the feeling he might actually be the mastermind behind the massacre.
That makes you even more nervous.
You come to a stop in the place where Satoru Gojo was once kneeling before he was put in that box. Now that you’re out in the open, ‘Geto’ looks you over with some sort of nonchalant curiosity.
“You’re…” he starts, sounding thoughtful, "not a sorcerer, are you?”
Sorcerer. You heard that term thrown around by him and his group a few times. It’s what they’ve been referring to their enemies as. It probably wouldn’t be smart to lie and say you are one; you get the feeling he’d see through your lie anyway. “I’m not.”
He hums. “How interesting.”
“...what do you mean?” you ask before you can help yourself.
“It’s just you have an abnormally large amount of cursed energy for a non-sorcerer,” he explains. “Though, I suppose that all just sounds like gibberish to you."
You nod and look down at the box lodged in the floor. It has eyes, big creepy looking eyes. "...are you going to do the same thing to me as you did to that man?"
He laughs, "...fortunately for you, the prison realm only holds one person at a time and I need him sealed away more than you."
"...does that mean you're going to leave him in there forever?"
"If I'm feeling nice, I might unseal him in a hundred years or so."
One hundred years? At this point, you've probably lived roughly that amount of time through your loops alone, but for Satoru Gojo… "Won't he die first?"
"Only if he decides to," 'Geto' says, looking completely and wholly unbothered. "Time doesn't doesn't flow in the box, so when I unseal him, he'll be the same as he was just now. Physically anyway. Who knows how deteriorated his mind will be after all that."
Time doesn't flow in the box.
The words echo in your mind over and over. Time doesn't flow in the box. In other words, that means time has stopped in the box, and if that's the case then—
"Anyway, rather than worry about him, shouldn't you be more worried about yourself?"
You look at 'Geto' and he's smiling at you, it's friendly, but ominous. There's no doubt what is going to happen next, though you had already resigned yourself to this iteration being a bust; it was only a matter of time.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
"I was thinking I might keep you around, even if you aren’t a sorcerer, your wealth of cursed energy would serve my plans well," he muses. "But… it would be too much trouble trying to teach you how to use it in time."
As he talks, you realize this is probably the first time your death is intentional— every other death you've suffered has just been a byproduct of the ongoing slaughter. You were just another casualty, a victim, never a target.
You're scared.
Even though you know that once he kills you, once you die, you'll just loop back to around 8:30 again. You'll be on the platform again. And you'll play out some sequence of events before you eventually die again. And again and again.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
"I'll be nice, though," 'Geto' says, raising a hand and another monster appears out of nowhere. You don’t even bother trying to figure out from where. It doesn’t matter, especially since this monster will surely be the one to end your life. "I'll make it painless."
"...I appreciate it," you say and close your eyes hoping that he's not lying about it.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
He didn't lie.
You die again.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you're trapped.
You don't know how and you don't know why, but you are stuck in a time loop— forced to suffer through the horrific events of the night before you die and begin it all again. It's been a long time since you stopped counting how many loops you've gone through, but if you had to guess, it's probably somewhere in the hundreds now.
You are so very tired.
But it doesn't stop. It won't stop no matter what you seem to do. You are stuck. You are trapped. You are doomed.
“Time doesn't flow in the box.”
Ever since that first loop where you heard whoever is possessing Geto's body say that, the words have been stuck in your head, playing on loop.
You finally realize why.
“Time doesn't flow in the box.”
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It's 8:25PM when you wake up; that should be plenty of time.
You need to find Satoru Gojo.
After hundreds of loops you've come to a singular conclusion: you need to prevent him being sealed in the prison realm. You've witnessed it enough to know that you won't be able to do it alone; you'll need his cooperation.
You rush upstairs as fast as you can, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine as you step onto the stairwell. According to your previous loops, Satoru Gojo arrives on the subway tracks at 8:40PM. With how crowded the upper floor is, you don’t know if you’ll have the time to intercept him and talk to him, but if you can at least figure out where to find him, then you can try and talk to him during a subsequent loop.
When you reach the fourth basement floor, however, you don’t know where you should even start. He’s pretty tall so you think you could spot him in the crowd, but… there are still so many people. It occurs to you that maybe it would be better to try and look from a higher vantage point so you head to the stairs that lead up to the third basement floor. You check your phone again. It’s 8:35PM; you need to hurry.
Luckily for you, you find him very easily on the third basement floor.
The only problem is that he’s in a hard to reach spot— squatting above a sign hanging over the crowd.
You check your phone again. It’s 8:38PM and he’s starting to move, presumably to meet with those waiting for him on the subway tracks. It’s good that you found him, but there’s no doubt about it.
You’re going to need more time.
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The moment you wake up, you immediately bolt toward the stairs. It's taken many, many more loops, but you've finally brought the time you wake down to around 8:15. You're still not sure if it's enough time, but there's only one way to find out.
You barrel your way up to the next floor and zig zag through the crowd to get to the next flight of stairs. By the time you get to your destination, you're completely out of breath, your chest heaving as your lungs clamor for air. You’ve done this so many times, yet your body acts like it’s always the first. It sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it. You slow to a brisk pace to catch your breath and check the time. It’s 8:27— a new record. Hopefully it’ll be enough.
The goal is to catch Satoru Gojo before he moves to his lookout point above the crowd. While not impossible, it would be difficult for you to follow him there. You eye the safety barricade that blocks off the area where he’ll be moving in just a few minutes warily.
Yes, getting over there would be extremely difficult.
You don’t want to think about it right now; you’ll deal with it when the time comes.
Especially since Satoru Gojo has now entered your field of vision.
Your heart starts to race at the sight of him and it feels like it’s beating a million times a second. There isn’t a lot of time. You need to talk to him, but your legs only wobble, your feet planted firmly to the ground. This is not good. You need to move. You need to move.
Finally, after what feels like both an instant and an eternity, your feet finally budge, propelling you in Satoru Gojo’s direction. The beating of your heart only grows louder as you make your way toward him, mingling with the single thought that’s echoing throughout your mind right now: will he even hear you out?
You need to make him.
“Excuse me!” The words nearly come out in a stutter as you realize that you are actually talking to Satoru Gojo. You have watched this man at a distance for so long that it almost felt like he wasn’t real, like he was just another fixture in this nightmare that you’ve been living for far too long. And yet, here he is, right in front of you, in the flesh.
And his attention is on you.
All sound stops: the crowd around you, the thoughts in your head, the beat of your heart. Even though you cannot see them through that blindfold of his, you know that Satoru Gojo’s eyes are on you and the thought of that, the knowledge of it is actually a little overwhelming. Your mouth is dry and suddenly you don’t know what to say, but you need to say something. You need to say something before he thinks maybe you bumped into him by accident and just walks away without a word.
“I need to talk to you!” The words just burst out from your mouth and something about it is just absolutely embarrassing. You’re not sure if it's desperation or the fact that you haven’t really talked to anyone other than the existence occupying Suguru Geto’s body in nearly forever.
Satoru Gojo’s lips slowly start to form a smile, “Oh, yeah?”
The sound of his voice makes your mind go blank. There’s something different about it right now; more playful, amused even. Maybe it’s because he’s talking to you, a harmless human being and not a monster trying to kill him. It’s almost kind of jarring, but you know, with certainty, what Satoru Gojo’s voice sounds like. And the fact that he’s actually talking to you right now has you kind of excited. You nod, doing your best to not show how thrilled you are that he’s not ignoring you.
He hums thoughtfully, “Sorry… but unfortunately I kind of have some business to attend to right now.”
“I—” You start to say that you know that he’s headed down to the platform below to fight with…Choso and Jogo, you think their names are— you don’t know the name of the monster with the branches for eyes. “It’s— it’s really important!”
Gojo tilts his head a little, clearly thinking. You should probably say something else, something to try and convince him to stay a little longer and hear you out, but your mind is both full and blank. Where do you start? From the beginning? Or do you start with what is most important? Maybe you should say what you think will get his attention. You’re not sure, and you realize you really should have thought about this earlier because you’re running out of time right now.
“...mind handing me your phone?”
You stare at Gojo, completely and wholly confused, but he just holds out his hand expectantly. When you don’t move, he wiggles his fingers a little, a silent gesture telling you to hurry it up. Without thinking, you reach into your bag and unlock your phone before handing it to him.
“Kind of sucks that cell service isn’t working right now,” he remarks as he types something into your phone before handing it back. “But! Here's my number.”
You look down at your phone and, sure enough, Satoru Gojo has added himself as one of your contacts. He’s even added a little star to the end of his name. That’s… a little unexpected. Why his number though?
“Are you… hitting on me?” you mutter in your confusion.
He laughs, “Well, you said you had something really important to talk to me about, right? So just give me a call when you get home or some time tomorrow and we can talk then!”
You’re not going to make it home, or even to tomorrow, and neither will Satoru Gojo. As you start to tell him this, he steps past you. Desperate, you try to grab him, but somehow, for some reason, you can’t. You remember he did this with Jogo and the other monster, made himself untouchable.
This is not good.
He gives you a little wave, cheery as he says, “I’ll talk to you later!”
You watch, helpless as he hops over the barricade beyond your reach.
Gripping your phone tightly, you take a deep breath. It's fine, it's not like you didn’t expect things to go well anyway.
You'll just have to try again.
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Every time you’ve tried to solicit help from Satoru Gojo, it has gone the same way. He just won’t give you the time of day, and in some ways you can’t blame him; he’s clearly here to deal with the monsters down on the platform. You’re fairly certain that he probably thinks that whatever is going on with you is a much lesser issue in comparison.
Plus, it probably doesn’t help that in the times that you’ve approached him, you haven’t been able to articulate yourself particularly well. Once you start talking to him, you just get hit with something akin to stage fright and the connection between your mind and your mouth just stops working. It’s gotten better with each attempt, but…
It’s just so frustrating.
It is interesting that Gojo has given you his number every time, star symbol and all. You’re not sure what kind of person you were expecting him to be, but after witnessing him literally and viciously rip monsters apart, you’d figured he’d be a little more somber. However, in the fragmented conversations you’ve had with him he’s come off as far more friendly and playful than you would have thought. Is he the type of person to get more serious when the situation calls for it? You can’t help but wonder, but ultimately, it doesn’t really matter.
What really matters is that you’re able to convince him to help you.
You have to convince him.
“Excuse me!” you say, stepping in Satoru Gojo’s path. You don’t stutter this time, and your voice is more sure. This is good.
“Yes?”
His head turns in your direction and you gulp. Gojo’s gaze, despite that blindfold of his, still feels just as overwhelming as it did the very first time you approached him. You have no doubt that he’s sizing you up, but there’s just something about it that makes you feel like you’re being picked apart.
You take a deep breath and step closer to him, hoping your voice sounds firm enough as you say, “I need your help. I’m trapped.”
He chuckles a little, “I know, but yours truly is on his way to go beat up the bad guys keeping you all trapped here, so soon enough you’ll be all free to go on your merry little way.”
Right. You were so caught up in your own plight that you nearly forgot that technically you’re not the only one ‘trapped.’ Satoru Gojo obviously knows that everyone else is confined to this station, but you doubt he knows that you’re confined to this night alone.
“That’s not what I mean!” you sputter.
“Then what do you mean?” Gojo asks. Should you tell him that you mean that you’re trapped in a time loop? You’re honestly not sure— in the movies and manga you’ve read about time travel, revealing that sort of thing risks creating a time paradox which seems to be a bad thing. If you have to tell him, you will, but— “Oh, I get it.”
You stare, bewildered. Did you maybe just spew all of that aloud?
Gojo gives you a mischievous smile. “You’re hitting on me, aren’t you?”
“No!” The word comes flying out of your mouth. You can’t deny he’s attractive— you’ve thought it all this time, but that is not what’s happening here.
“No need to be embarrassed,” he continues, ignoring you. “I totally get it, so if you want, I’d be happy to give you my number!”
Again? You’ve received Satoru Gojo’s contact details in every loop you’ve talked to him, star symbol and all— you even have his number memorized. There’s something kind of odd about how he keeps giving you his number. Part of you wonders if he’s got some sort of ulterior motive, but you haven’t thought too deeply about it. There are way more important things going on.
“I don’t need your phone number,” you say. “I need to talk.”
Your response seems to give Gojo pause. Did you somehow manage to get through to him? No way. Your suspicions are all but confirmed when he gives you that familiar apologetic smile.
“Like, I said, I’m sort of in the middle of something, but…” Gojo reaches into his pockets and rummages around until one hand fishes out a folded up piece of paper. The other hand keeps digging around in his pocket and when Gojo seems to give up on whatever he’s looking for, he turns his attention back to you. “Got a pen?”
What?
Gojo tilts his head. “Well?”
“I do, but…” You trail off, unsure why he’s asking.
He holds out his hand waiting for you to just hand him the pen. You still don’t get it, but you reach into your bag’s front pocket and pull out the pen and hand it to him. Gojo looks almost like an excited child when he takes it from you, quickly scribbling something onto his paper before shoving it and your pen back into your hand.
You look at the paper; it looks like a receipt. For a disturbing amount of mochi that Gojo bought earlier today. The amount of money he spent is almost sickening; way too much to be paying for mochi. More importantly, you notice something juxtaposed over the receipt’s print.
It’s Satoru Gojo’s name and number.
He even drew a little star next to his name.
“If you change your mind later, just give me a call!” he tells you cheerily. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while!”
You gawk at him. He cannot be serious. You literally just told him that you didn’t need it and yet he still gave it to you. He must want you to contact him later, but you can’t even begin to understand why. It can’t have been something you said or did, right? Unless, he’s actually—
“Later!” Gojo’s voice cuts through your thoughts and you notice him walking off with a wave.
You can’t let him get away.
Again.
You crush the receipt in your hand and rush after him. Despite the crowd, Gojo seems to move through the people with ease and it almost seems like they are yielding to him naturally. It’s good for you. Makes him easier to chase.
“Wait!” you yell, but Gojo doesn’t even look back. Bastard. Your muscles strain as you try to run faster. You know you won’t be able to grab him if you get to him, but there has to still be something you can do to stop him. Circle around him? Cut him off before he—
Satoru Gojo reaches the barricade.
“Wait!” you yell again. “Satoru Gojo, wait!”
He does not even acknowledge you.
You’re almost there though. Almost. If you reach out your hand, then maybe, maybe you can grab him. Something in your head tells you that it’s useless; you’ve never been able to touch him. But, you don’t care, you don’t care because you have to try. You stretch out your hand, desperate and hoping, but just as you do, Gojo effortlessly jumps over the barricade, moving to survey the crowd.
Due to your momentum, you almost collide into the barricade, but you manage to stop yourself. You stare at Satoru Gojo through the glass. He watches the crowd for at most three minutes. Is this just another bust? Is there really nothing you can do? There must be a way you can get his attention. Is it possible to climb over the barricade? No, it’s too high. There’s nothing you can grasp onto or use as footing either.
This fucking sucks.
Another minute or two and Gojo will be on the move again, and there will be no way you can follow, no way you can get his attention. You press your hands against the glass, pushing against it. Naturally, it doesn’t budge. Why would it? If only you could get it out of the way. If only you could break it. This stupid barricade is the only thing between you and Satoru Gojo and there’s no way you can climb it, but if only you could break it.
If only you could fucking break it.
Suddenly, the glass feels warm. Satoru Gojo’s image starts to look a little distorted as the warmth beneath your fingers grows. Something is happening. The glass starts to vibrate and shake. Violently. The tremors grow stronger and stronger. You should stop. You should back away.
You don’t.
The barricade starts to crack and fracture and soon the sound of shattering glass resounds throughout the entire room. Everyone starts screaming. No one knows what’s going on— not even you. But you don’t care. It’s gone. The barricade is gone.
You take a step forward, toward Satoru Gojo. He’s on a beam that’s about a two meter drop from where you’re standing. That’s fine. That’s okay. You can make it. You have to. Without a second thought, you jump—
And you land on the beam. You look up and Satoru Gojo’s attention is back on you. He’s finally, finally turned toward you, face twisted into an expression you can’t decipher or even comprehend, but—
Something’s wrong; your world is turning on its axis, but—
Satoru Gojo is looking at you, and—
Up is very quickly becoming down, and—
Satoru Gojo is coming closer, but—
You’re slipping—
But he’s right there, and—
You’re falling, but—
He’s trying to catch you, but—
It’s too late. It’s too late.
The last thing you think you feel—
—is Satoru Gojo’s arms around you.
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It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you are causing a commotion.
“Shit! Fuck!” you curse loudly. The people near you start to shift away but you barely notice; you don’t really care.
You were so close, so fucking close and yet… yet here you are again. It’s quarter past eight and you are back on the goddamn platform. You don’t know what happened; you remember falling and thinking you were going to die, but you are absolutely certain that, once again, this time, you didn’t die.
Is Satoru Gojo at fault again? Did he do something? Like he did all those other times you looped without dying? When you think about it more, you don’t think so. You don’t know what happened; all you know is that you tried to get to him, but you slipped.
And he caught you, you definitely remember that.
You still don’t understand why you looped, but there’s not much you can do about it now; it’s not like you can go back anymore. It just sucks, because you think he might have actually listened if you’d talked to him.
Or he would have come after you for… whatever happened with the barricade. It could have been taken as an attack on the crowd… But if he thought you were doing that, then why would he catch you?
You don’t know.
All you know is that you have to try again.
The only problem is that you don’t know how you managed to shatter the barricade. You think about it as you make your way up to where you’ll find Satoru Gojo. There is the possibility that it wasn’t you and something else happened to it instead, but that feels way too coincidental. It had to be you. That’s the only thing that makes sense. You just can’t figure out how you did it outside of wanting, wishing, praying for the barricade to break. It’s not like you have supernatural powers like Satoru Gojo and his enemies.
Despite your mind being completely and wholly occupied by trying to figure out how in the world you managed to break through that barricade, you still manage to make it to the second basement floor of Shibuya Hikarie by 8:25PM— a brand new record. Satoru Gojo doesn’t show up until around 8:34PM, so that gives you almost ten minutes to try and figure out what you need to do to try and replicate shattering the glass barricade again.
Except—
Except Satoru Gojo is already here.
The thought that maybe you’re mistaken flashes in your mind before it’s quickly dismissed; there’s no way you’d mistake anyone else for him. There is absolutely no denying it: that is Satoru Gojo. Bewildered, you double check the time on your phone. Maybe you misread it and you’re actually late but sure enough you read it right— Satoru Gojo is here early.
What the hell is going on?
Of the thousands of times you have experienced this night, this hell, this sort of thing has never happened before. Everything happens at a specific time, as if adhering to an unseen schedule. It’s likely that what happened in your last iteration did delay Satoru Gojo’s arrival onto the platform, but other than that there has never been a deviation to the time table.
And yet, here Satoru Gojo is, nine minutes early now.
You realize that that’s not the only thing that’s strange: he’s not moving. In previous rounds, when you encounter Gojo here, he’s walking to the lookout spot beyond the barricade. But, right now, he’s just standing there, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. It almost looks like he's waiting for something.
Or someone.
This unexpected turn of events has you rooted to the spot. You’re not sure what you should do. No. This shouldn’t change anything. You need to talk to him. As concerning as a change like this is, the extra time it gives you should be a good thing. Despite knowing that, your feet are still firmly planted to the ground.
The crowd shifts and you see Satoru Gojo start to move. Toward the barricade? No. He’s not heading in his usual direction, rather he’s—
You stop breathing.
He’s headed toward you.
All sound stops: the crowd around you, the thoughts in your head, the beat of your heart. Even though you cannot see them through that blindfold of his, you know that Satoru Gojo’s eyes are on you and the thought of that, the knowledge of it is absolutely mind numbing.
He comes to a stop before you, lips curled up to form an amused sort of smile as he says, “Soooo, you needed to talk to me?”
You try to answer but no words come out of your mouth. Are you dreaming? You have to be, right? There's no way that this is actually happening. Could it be that, after thousands of loops, you’ve finally lost it? Your mind shattering along with the glass of the barricade at the end of the last one?
Gojo tilts his head, indicating that he's still waiting for an answer. When you open your mouth, at first, nothing comes out, the words stuck in your throat. You force them out, your voice cracking, “...how did you know?”
He smiles, looking almost mischievous as he reaches up and lightly taps the side of his head. “I remembered, of course!”
All you can do is stare at Satoru Gojo. He remembered? How is that possible? From his perspective, this is the first time you’ve met and while it shouldn’t be possible for him to remember there’s something in your mind that’s keeping you from completely dismissing the possibility.
Gojo laughs, “I take it from the look on your face that you’re not used to this sort of thing happening. Is this the first time?”
“No.” The fact that the word is out of your mouth before you can even really think about it surprises you and you really have to think. Your face scrunches together as you try to remember. Is this really not the first time? Then, the memories assault you, overlapping as they replay simultaneously in your head— a woman in a yellow and white magical girl costume— begging you for help as she burns to death— smiling as she tells you she made her costume herself. “...it happened just once a long time ago.”
“‘A long time ago,’ huh. Sounds like you've been at this for a while now.”
“...unfortunately.”
Gojo hums. “So when you said you didn’t need my phone number…”
“You’d already given it to me a few times,” you say, figuring that’s where this conversation is going.
“Really now?”
Does he not believe you? Or is he just being an ass? You’re not sure, but since you had taken the liberty of memorizing Satoru Gojo’s phone number you recite it back to him to prove your point.
Just when you think you may have stunned Gojo into silence he starts to laugh, obviously finding something funny about the fact that you know his cell phone number. “Seems like you've got quite the fascinating technique there.”
Technique? What is he talking about? Your confusion must be plain on your face because he adds, elaborating, “The time travel.”
You continue to stare at him. You don't think you'd consider what you've been going through time travel, because traveling implies moving from point A to point B, but you've been stuck walking in circles at point A for a long time. What really gets you is… “What do you mean by ‘technique?’”
“You mean you don’t— oh. I get it; no wonder you’re trapped.”
That does not answer your question in the slightest. “Can you please explain what you're talking about? What do you mean by ‘technique?’”
“Right, right… So basically, a technique is like a special sort of power,” he finally explains. “Like I said, your technique seems to be a kind of time travel. Whenever you activate it, your mind is sent back in time.”
What he's saying makes sense, but… “How come you were sent back too?”
He laughs again. “Isn't it obvious? Think back to before— do you remember that I caught you as you were falling?”
You nod slowly. The memory of his arms around you is almost embarrassingly vivid. “...is it because we were touching?”
“Ding, ding, ding! That's correct! Anyone you happen to be touching when you activate your technique gets affected by it too!”
Something about his tone annoys you, but you try to ignore it. He could have just told you rather than make you guess. “How do you know that for sure?”
“Well,” he continues. “You’ve done your little time loop a bunch of times, right? If your technique affected everyone, or even a few people in a select range you would have noticed for sure. And if it affected only just you then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, now would we?”
When you think about it, you do think that the woman in the magical girl costume might have bumped into you before the loop where she remembered.
“That’s honestly just conjecture, but I've got pretty good eyes, so I’m hardly ever wrong.”
Gojo gives you a grin and while you do think that his reasoning is sound enough his confidence is a little grating. More than that, though, you’re glad that this conversation is actually going really well.
“Either way,” he says thoughtfully. “It doesn’t look like you can control your technique. Usually a person’s technique manifests when they’re a kid, but you seem to be a special case… in fact, I bet your technique activated for the very first time tonight— probably under some pretty extreme circumstances, too.”
“...dying counts as an ‘extreme circumstance,’ right?”
“Oh, absolutely. Or legitimately thinking that you’re gonna die, but it seems like your body has been unconsciously activating your technique as a sort of defense mechanism. Which is why you’re trapped.”
“So, if I could control it I’d be able to make it out of this time loop.”
“Yeah, but in this case it probably wouldn’t end very well for you,” he points out with a chuckle. “It’s not like you actually want to die, right? I mean, if you did, then your technique wouldn’t even activate in the first place.”
You don’t; what you want is for this night to finally end. To be free from the endless cycle of dying over and over again and again. You don’t think death is quite the answer; even if you were to learn how to control this supposed technique of yours, there’s no guarantee that you would just unconsciously activate it when the grim reaper comes knocking on your door. No, the answer is…
“Anyway!” Gojo’s cheery voice cuts through your thoughts. “I highly doubt that you’re the type that makes a habit of jumping off ledges for the funsies, so the fact that you’ve been dying tells me that some pretty gruesome stuff is about to go down, so, tell me what happens tonight.”
The sudden drop of his voice sends a shiver running down your spine. If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve seen how serious Gojo can get, the sudden shift in demeanor would probably freak you out a bit, but it doesn’t. This is the Satoru Gojo you’re familiar with.
You do have one concern though. “That… won’t create a time paradox or anything, will it?”
“Nah,” Gojo shrugs. “You wouldn’t cause one with the way your technique works, besides, if you’ve only been going back at most an hour or two in time it’s hard to believe you’d be making a really big impact… unless you really believe in the butterfly effect.”
You’re still not quite sure.
“Trust me, it’ll be fine.”
His voice sounds strange. Gentle. Kind. It's the most soothing thing you've heard in a long time and it makes you want to believe him.
“...okay.”
Anxiety is still gripping at you, but you try to dispel it, taking a deep breath before beginning your explanation. For the sake of brevity, it’s probably best that you’re as concise as possible. There isn’t much need to really get into the nitty gritty of things unless he asks specifically.
Naturally, you begin with his arrival onto the platform and how soon after a fight breaks out and how the crowd is unfortunate enough to be involved. Gojo’s expression is passive for the most part, but he does crack the faintest hint of a smile when you mention how he manages to eviscerate one of the monsters.
It disappears once you tell him about the arrival of the train. Between the dozens upon dozens of people being dropped onto the platform by those two high school girls and the hoard of monsters disembarking from the train, everything devolves into pandemonium.
“Wait,” Gojo holds a hand up and you pause. This is his first interruption since you started recounting the night’s events for him. “Everyone is able to see the monsters?”
You stare at him. What a weird question. “...yeah?”
His mouth twists and it looks like he’s thinking about something. You can’t even begin to imagine what. Finally, he comments, “Makes sense.”
It does not, but you don’t ask him to elaborate. Surely if it was important he would have just done so.
“Anyway, in the middle of all that, you… you do something.” Your brows bunch together as you remember the stance Gojo took, the crazed and desperate look in his eyes, the feeling of your head about to explode. “I don’t know how to describe it. At first, it would just force me to… activate my technique, I guess. But now, it just knocks me out for a few minutes.”
Gojo frowns and he rubs at his chin, obviously thinking about what you’ve said. Eventually, he raises a hand and bends his fingers into a familiar gesture. It’s the one that preludes whatever he does on the platform. “Do I do this?”
“Yeah.”
He hums. “Interesting.”
You wait to see if he’ll explain. He doesn’t. Great. Even if he doesn’t think you need to know, it certainly would be nice to. It’s annoying otherwise, but you ignore the feeling and continue. “I can’t tell you what happens when I’m knocked out, but when I come to everyone is basically a zombie and all the monsters from the train are gone. I think you kill them.”
“I probably do,” he says casually. “But what about Volcano Head?”
“...you don't…get a chance to kill him,” you say slowly. Gojo tilts his head, waiting for you to elaborate, but you hesitate. You have to tell him, you know you do, but…
You have seen the interaction so many times and though you don't know the exact nature of the relationship between them, you can tell that seeing Suguru Geto (or rather seeing his body) shook Satoru Gojo to his very core.
There's no doubt in your mind that he will not take this news well.
“Come on now,” Gojo's tone is light-hearted, unaware. “Don't keep me in suspense here.”
It's as if you're withholding the punchline to a joke. In a way, you suppose you are, but you don't think he's going to find it funny.
You take a deep breath. You need to tell him. The worst thing that could happen is that he doesn't believe you, but if that's the case… you'll probably just end up repeating this all again until you find a loop where he does.
Having made it this far, you'd like to avoid all that.
“Before you can get Volcano Head you get restrained by something called the prison realm,” you say slowly, “by someone calling themselves… Suguru Geto.”
The second the name leaves your mouth, there is a clear and obvious shift in the air. Gone is Gojo’s laid-back and frivolous demeanor, replaced with something more somber and almost frightening. The tension grows more and more palpable to the point that you think it might almost choke you.
You almost wish that it would.
“You can’t be serious,” Gojo finally says, once your words have fully sunk in.
“I—” You start to speak, but come to an abrupt stop when you see him shove his hand into his pocket to yank out his phone of all things.
The both of you know full well that there’s no reception here, but you don’t think that he’s planning on making any calls. Gojo scrolls and scrolls on his phone before he stops and shoves the screen in your face. It shows a picture of three people— a teenage girl with a cigarette in her mouth, a younger, happier version of Gojo sporting a pair of round sunglasses and—
“When you say ‘Geto’ is this who you’re referring to?” Gojo demands, using his other hand to point at the third person in the frame— a handsome young man with long dark hair pulled up into a bun.
“Yes, but—”
“That’s impossible. It can’t be him,” Gojo interrupts, his voice firm, cold even. “He’s dead.”
There’s a note of finality in his words that is definitely meant to leave no room for argument. It doesn’t stop you, though. Instead, you glare at Gojo’s stupid blindfold and say, “...being dead doesn’t mean a damn thing! I’ve died hundreds of times and yet I’m still fucking here, but—”
“Your situation is different,” he interjects, the temperature of his tone hiking up, his words like heated hissing. “I killed him almost a year ago. There's no way—”
“You didn't get rid of the body properly!” You cut him off, raising your voice in hopes that he'll take even just a second to stop and listen. It seems to work and you add something you remember ‘Geto’ saying. “You should have had Shoko Ieiri get rid of it, but you didn’t and now some… some kind of gross brain thing is possessing the corpse!”
The air between you both is silent as the grave. Though you can't see it, you can feel the weight of his gaze pressing down on you. He’s definitely having second thoughts about everything you’ve said so far. There’s a chance he might even think you’re his enemy now. You stare him down though, refusing to look away. You’ve made it this far, you can’t— you won’t back down.
“...you’re not lying, are you.” Gojo’s words are more of a statement than a question. There’s no doubt in your mind that he knows the answer, and yet he’s still asking. You wonder if maybe he’s clinging onto some vain hope that maybe, just maybe this all a sick, cruel joke that’s gone way too far.
“I’m not.”
Gojo holds your gaze for a second longer before he lets out a curse. “Fuck!”
“...I’m sorry,” you say quietly, mostly because it feels like the most correct thing to say at this moment. You don’t know the whole story, but it seems like they were close. If so, then it must have hurt Gojo a lot to have killed him, and must hurt even more to know that someone is desecrating the body. You hate that you, a complete and utter stranger, happened to be the person to tell him, but…
It had to be done, for the sake of getting past this unending night, it had to be done.
Gojo runs a hand through his hair and lets out a ragged sigh. “Okay. What happens after that?”
You give him a rundown of what follows; he gets sealed, the monsters wake up and all but ‘Geto’ leave in search of their next target. When you mention the high school girls demanding the brain give Geto’s body back, Gojo snorts loudly.
“Fat chance of that,” he says derisively.
You nod in agreement. It was clear to you that the brain parasite has no intent on giving it up any time soon. “After they leave, he… talks to me.”
“Probably couldn't ignore all that cursed energy you have,” Gojo remarks offhandedly.
You stare at him, expression twisted in a way that shows that you have absolutely no clue what that means. It should be fine for you to ask this one question; it actually concerns you after all. “What does that even mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, though… probably doesn't make much sense to you, does it?”
You give him a pointed glare and all Gojo does is laugh.
“Just think of it like having a lot of MP.”
“...Like in a video game?”
“Exactly!” Then, Gojo tilts his head, clearly thinking. You don't bother asking; you don't feel like he'll explain.
“He does ask me if I'm a sorcerer, whatever that is. Is that why?”
“Probably. Ordinary people don't have even a fraction of the energy you're packing.”
‘Ordinary people’ he says as if you’re not an ordinary person who got caught up in all this supernatural sorcery bullshit. Or at least you were, but if the time loops are really a product of your own doing…
“Does he kill you when you answer?” Gojo asks to get the conversation back on track.
“Not right away. What happens next kind of varies,” you answer. “He usually lets me have a question or two before he kills me; I've asked him a couple different things.”
“Really taking advantage, aren’t you?” Gojo says and you're not sure what to make of his tone. Is he mocking you or is he easing back into that laid-back persona of his?
“If I’m doomed to repeat the same situation over and over, I might as well make the most of it,” you respond flatly.
“You know, your technique kind of reminds me of save scumming.”
He’s definitely gone back to acting almost completely unserious— all signs of his earlier agitation are nearly gone.
“So what did you learn?”
“Well, the prison realm only holds one occupant. Once they’re sealed, time stops for them and the only way out is if the bearer unseals them or if they choose to kill themselves.”
“I see… And what about our body jacker?”
“He didn’t go into detail but he said something about… striving toward the evolution of mankind?” You frown a little at the memory. He didn’t explain further because he said that you wouldn’t understand.
“Huh. Interesting. Wonder how he was gonna go about doing that.”
“I don't know, but I can't imagine you'd like it since he goes out of his way to seal you into that box,” you say. “Said you’d get in the way because you’re too strong.”
Gojo shrugs his shoulders and grins a little. Cocky. “Well, I am the strongest sorcerer around, you know.”
You would think him overconfident if you hadn't seen the magnitude of his strength first hand.
“Anyway, that's as far as I ever go. When he's decided he’s done talking to me, he kills me and I loop back.”
“So, in short, what you want help with is getting past that point, right?”
“More or less.”
“And all I have to do is avoid getting caught by the prison realm?”
You nod.
“What’s it look like?” he asks. “A big cage with a bunch of metal bars?”
Now that you think about it, you haven’t woken up early enough to see it before it traps him, but you can’t imagine it looks that much different. “No.. It’s a small box with eyes… It gets big enough to fit you in it, though.”
“Huh.” He stretches his arms out above his head as if he’s trying to emphasize how large he actually is and shoots you a grin. “Should be easy enough then. I bet our body snatcher used the shock of seeing Suguru to trap me but since I'll see it coming, avoiding it'll be a piece of cake.”
Gojo makes it sound so easy, and maybe it really is as simple as that, but you can't help but be worried still.
“Don't tell me you don't think I can do it,” he says, tilting his head.
“It's not that,” you admit. “I'm just concerned I might die before we can get to that point.”
Truthfully, since you know that will just result in another loop you're less concerned with dying itself and more worried about losing the progress you've made in convincing Gojo to help you. Even though it's been clearly proven you can loop him as well, there's no guarantee you'll be able to make the physical contact needed to do it upon death.
“You've made it pretty far on your own, though, right?”
“Yeah, but… I’ve messed up plenty of times.” More than you can even count. “There's also the possibility that taking the time to talk to you might have thrown things out of whack.”
Speaking of time, you check your phone. It's 8:39PM. You curse.
Gojo leans over to check your phone. “Let me guess, I'm supposed to be somewhere right now.”
“Yeah, this is when you’re descending down onto the platform.”
“You know where I am down to the exact minute?” He asks and you tilt your head back and forth a little. It’s not exact per se, but it’s close enough. Gojo chuckles a little. “Man, I didn’t realize that you were actually that into me.”
That earns Gojo a glare from you, but he just laughs it off. “I doubt being a few minutes late is going to make a big difference.”
You certainly hope so.
“Don't worry,” Gojo says and you notice he's using that tone from earlier. “You won't die.”
It’s hard to argue with him when he uses such a reassuring sounding voice and yet, you still open your mouth to try— to voice your doubts, but what he says next silences you before you even can.
“I'll protect you.”
You think your heart stops beating in your chest and your words dissolve in your throat.
He grins at you. “Did you fall in love with me just now?”
That catches you a little off guard. You're willing to admit he's hot, but surely he must be joking. “How could you even think of something like that at a time like this?”
Gojo laughs again. “Well, since someone is so worried about their time table being all messed up, I better head down there; can’t keep Volcano Head and friends waiting, right?”
You blink. Is that it? “Wait, shouldn’t we make a plan or something?”
“Isn’t the plan for me to not get caught in the prison realm?”
Yes, but… “But what about me? Is there anything I can do?”
Gojo stares at you, or at least you think he does. “...I don’t know, is there?”
You’ve seen the encounter between Satoru Gojo and those monsters so many times and you try to picture a version of it where you intervene and… all you can see is yourself getting in his way. You’re no fighter, no… sorcerer, or whatever he is, you’re just some ordinary person that was unfortunate enough to get all caught up in this mess. The most you can probably do is kick the prison realm out of the way when the time comes, but otherwise… “...no, I guess not.”
His expression turns sympathetic. “You’ve done plenty by telling me everything that happens. So just wait up here, and let me handle the monsters.”
You almost nod. Almost. But then you remember what transpires up here above the platform. You know it sounds safer up here where you’re less likely to get involved in the carnage, but… “Wait, no, if I stay up here then I’ll fall to my death when those girls—”
Gojo laughs, interrupting you. “Don’t worry about that. It’ll be fine.”
“How?”
“Just trust me.”
“I…” It’s hard to. After everything you’ve gone through it’s hard to trust in anything, to believe in anything. Even though you’ve made it this far this time, the worry that something will go wrong and that you’ll have to do it all again still lurks in the back of your mind.
Despite all that, you want to believe.
You want to believe that you can make it past this unending night, that one day you’ll wake up and it’ll no longer be October 31, 2018. And the first step towards that is trusting in Satoru Gojo.
“...okay,” you say quietly. “Okay.”
Gojo chuckles then asks, “Anything else before I head off?”
You start to ask if there’s anything you should say, in case things don’t work out, but you stop yourself. You’re choosing to trust him, to believe in him— you can figure out that stuff later if things end up going south after all. So, instead you give him a smile and it feels a little weird because you don’t remember the last time you did. “Good luck!”
For a split second, Gojo looks almost surprised, but then he laughs again, beaming widely at you. He starts to move past you and reaches out to give you what you think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder and then he’s off. You turn to watch him go, the crowd, once again, parting almost naturally for him.
When he reaches the barricade, he pauses, raising his hand as if he’s giving you one last wave. Then he jumps over it onto his little perch and then less than a minute later he’s gone, descending to the platform below.
Now, all you can do is wait.
You check your phone again and it’s 8:44PM. If you remember correctly, the high school girls start threatening everyone right before 9PM. With Gojo’s arrival being shifted back almost five minutes, does that mean that they’ll be shifted back too? It would make sense, but you’re not too sure.
Out of habit, you keep checking your phone and at nearly 9PM, you hear the shrill voice of one of the girls over the crowd, commanding everyone to do what she says, her partner stringing up bodies until everyone listens. Everything plays out just as you remember it, which is mildly comforting, though you know that the events that happen up here are more or less independent from what happens below.
Surely, just as Gojo said, a few minutes aren’t going to change anything, but—
No.
You agreed to trust him. To trust that everything would be fine.
When the girls start to demand that as many people as possible climb onto the roots and vines covering the atrium your heart starts to hammer in your chest. In just a few minutes, all the foliage will disintegrate beneath you, and you and everyone else here will fall into the abyss below.
You are afraid.
There isn’t a single loop where you’ve really survived this fall. If you don’t die in midair, you die right after landing. It’s a death trap, and that’s why you’ve stopped coming up here. There’s a part of you, the part that knows what’s about to happen, that wants to try and run back onto stable footing. But you can’t, because you know if you do then the girls will kill you for sure; you have to stay.
It’ll be fine, you tell yourself, it’ll be okay.
You just have to trust Gojo.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
You hear the announcement faintly below you. It’s almost time. You brace yourself and try to stay calm. Gojo said he would protect you, that you wouldn’t die. You don’t know how he intends to keep that promise, but all you can do is believe in his words.
It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay.
The vines and roots start to crack and the ground beneath you starts to give out. You squeeze your eyes shut as that sickening weightless feeling overtakes you. It occurs to you that this is actually quite literally a trust fall— will Satoru Gojo really be able to catch you?
As you fall, you realize almost instantly that something is different.
You’ve experienced this fall dozens of times and so, even though it has been a while since you’ve gone this route, you are very familiar with what it feels like. Something is different. You’re falling faster. The trajectory is changing. It’s like some force, other than gravity, is pulling at you.
Is this Gojo’s doing?
Just as your body collides with the ground you hear the sounds of mutilating flesh meld with the screams surrounding you. Blood and severed limbs litter the ground, but you try to ignore it. You need to focus on your own survival right now. Quickly, you scramble to your feet scan the area around you; you’re on the platform right now and right in front of you is—
Right in front of you is Satoru Gojo.
His back is turned to you, his focus currently elsewhere. Looking at him you realize you recognize this scene, though it’s much closer and at a different angle. He’s about to do that thing, that thing that knocks you out.
Something in you tells you to move closer to him, after all, he used his mysterious powers to deliberately bring you closer to him, right? You rush toward him and as you do something he said earlier pops up in your mind.
Anyone you happen to be touching when you activate your technique gets affected by it too!
Whatever he’s about to do… Is that his ‘technique?’ And if it is, would it work the same way as yours? If so, there’s only one way to find out: you need to touch him. You dodge monsters and other people as you run toward Satoru Gojo and—
A monster still manages to grab you, its large hands wrapping around your wrist. You try and yank it free, but it's much stronger than you are.
“Shit!” you hiss as the monster starts to pull you toward it and away from Gojo. What do you do? Your other hand is still free, should you try to punch it in the face? Or—
Before you can do anything, something blasts the monster’s head clean off. Shocked, you stare as the monster’s body slumps onto the ground, its grip loosening on you instantly. You whip your head around to find that while Gojo still has his back to you, his arm is bent back in your direction, his palm open as if he fired some invisible blast from it.
Then you feel it again, something pulling at you, but this time it's more forceful. Your body is yanked toward Gojo and the second you feel his hand press against you, you see him make that gesture with his other hand.
“Domain Expansion,” he whispers in a strained voice. “Infinite Void!”
Something happens and your vision flashes for a fraction of a second. And then—
The room is enveloped in an eerie stillness; all the violence and bloodshed coming to an abrupt stop. Monsters and humans alike stand like the living dead, unconscious with their eyes wide open as if they are staring into an infinite abyss. You recognize this scene, you’re familiar with it because it’s similar to the one you wake up to after being hit by Gojo’s ‘domain expansion.’ The only difference is the presence of the monsters, who are all but gone when you regain consciousness.
The pressure from Gojo’s hand is gone and he says to you, his voice still low. “If you’re squeamish when it comes to blood and gore, it might be best for you to close your eyes.”
And then he’s gone.
You do not take his advice. You do not close your eyes. How many loops were you unable to witness what’s about to unfold? A few hundred? A few thousand? And if all goes to plan, then you will never get another chance again: there’s no way you could possibly look away.
And what you see unfold before you is that Satoru Gojo was right.
He is the one to kill all the monsters.
It’s not as if you really had any doubt, after all, it seemed like the most logical conclusion to come to and yet…
There’s a difference between knowing and seeing.
All the violence resumes and the platform is engulfed in the sounds of carnage and slaughter once more. The lack of terrified screams makes everything more disconcerting— without them, all you can hear is the squelching echo of mangled flesh and blood splattering all over the place. You can’t really see him, but you can tell where Satoru Gojo is in the crowd as he leaves dozens upon dozens of decapitated heads soaring in his wake. Once or twice, he leaps out of the crowd and even from where you stand you can see the crazed glow of his inhumanly blue eyes as he massacres monster after monster.
Even though you don’t think you have anything to be scared of, you are still terrified: Satoru Gojo is no longer a man, but violence incarnate. You want to move closer to where Gojo gets trapped, but you’re afraid to. What if you get in his way? What if he kills you by accident?
Dying again when you’ve made it this far is definitely not ideal, but isn’t being killed by Gojo the best case scenario? Because then the two of you would probably loop together again and—
No.
Gojo said you wouldn’t die.
He said he’d protect you.
It’s hard to believe when he’s in the middle of a massacre, slaughtering monsters left and right, but you remind yourself yet again that you have to believe in him.
You take a deep breath and start moving, taking care to keep an eye on where Gojo is. You don’t know how long this is supposed to take, but you do know where he ends up when he’s just about done. The closer he gets to that spot, the sooner the prison realm will be unleashed upon him.
There’s a small group of zombified people nearby and you settle yourself among them. It’s not super close, but you think it's close enough that you'd be able to run over and kick the box away from Gojo if you have to. You do a quick survey to see if you can spot the body snatcher, but he's nowhere to be found. Hopefully, he hasn't noticed you moving around, or, if he has, he's more concerned with Gojo than he is with you. Given that you always seem to be the last thing he acknowledges, you'd like to think that he doesn't consider you a threat.
Which you're not, not really anyway.
The sounds of slaughter start to die down and you look to see Gojo approaching the spot where he gets caught. He looks beat, his eyes unfocused and his breathing heavy. You do another quick scan around him and notice a small box a few meters away from him, wrapped in what looks like paper charms or seals or whatever they're called. That has to be the prison realm— though it looks different than what you saw before. Gojo seems to notice it right after you do, his gaze honing in on it, examining it with some measure of bewilderment. Then, some invisible force slices through all the paper seals covering the box and it expands, the corners of the box floating up in midair to reveal what looks like a large sheet of dark red flesh with a large bloodshot eye stapled to the middle.
Disgusting.
If Gojo didn’t realize before, he seems to now, because he takes a step back, away from the grotesque thing. Good, good—
“Hey! Satoru!” Your blood runs cold at the sound of the body snatcher’s voice. He emerges from the crowd, smiling widely as he gives Gojo a wave. “Long time no see!”
Satoru Gojo’s entire body goes rigid. Shit. You told him, you warned him about what was going to happen, who he was going to see, but was that not enough? It’s possible that no amount of warning would have been enough to mentally prepare Satoru Gojo for the sight of the man he said he killed a year ago. After all, you know that there’s a stark difference between knowing and seeing. Even then, if Gojo doesn’t gather his wits and move now then he’s going to get caught and you can’t let that happen.
Your body moves before you can even think about it.
You scramble out from your hiding spot in the crowd and throw yourself in between Satoru Gojo and the prison realm. There’s no way you can kick it away from him now, not when it’s in this form, but maybe, if you get between them you can at least keep it from capturing him.
The eye quivers erratically, as it flits from Gojo to you. Every hair on your body stands on end as it watches you, the pupil dilating and contracting uncontrollably. You can’t look away from it, your own gaze fixed to your image reflected in the black abyss of the pupil. Something in the back of your mind tells you to stop, to get away, it’s dangerous, but you keep your feet firmly planted to the ground.
A second, or maybe even a minute passes and the prison realm shifts, its fleshy form morphing to restrain you.
The body jacker looks at you, his frown tinged with disgust. “Don’t you think you’re being rather rude by butting into what could have been a touching reunion?”
You scowl. Is he still trying to play the role of Suguru Geto?
He sighs and looks past you at Gojo. “Satoru, I thought bringing lesser sorcerers to fight alongside you was more trouble than it was worth?”
You hear Gojo snort from behind you, “It is… but this person here isn’t a sorcerer… Just like you aren’t Suguru Geto.”
The faker almost pouts and presses his hand to his chest as if Gojo's words have wounded him. “Satoru, I’m hurt, how could you say such a thing to your best friend?”
“Cut the bullshit,” Gojo snarls. “You can’t fucking fool me. You might be in Suguru’s body but I know with all my heart and soul that you’re not him.”
The corpse snatcher stares at Gojo, expression blank before he sighs once more. Then, his gaze shifts back to you, his eyes narrowed as he looks at you with sheer disdain. It feels as if you’ve been drenched in ice cold water. There's no smile this time but you already know what's going to happen.
He’s going to kill you.
“I intended to deal with you later since you seemed harmless enough,” he says, raising a hand to summon a monster— the same one he always uses to end your life. “But you’re in the way. So, I think it’s for the best if I just get rid of you right now.”
Instinctively, you try to take a step back but the prison realm’s restraints keep you in place. Not that it would have mattered much, even in the loops where you’ve tried to escape the faker’s monster, it still kills you, too fast and too agile for an ordinary human like you to avoid. All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the monster to kill you. At least, it’s always painless.
Something touches your back.
Your eyes shoot open.
Before you is the monster, wiggling and writhing only mere centimeters from your face. It gurgles and snarls at you, desperate to fulfill its master’s wishes and kill you but it doesn’t move any closer. You stare at it with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.
Someone behind you clicks their tongue— Gojo. You try to turn your head to look at him, but your movements are too limited, the most you can do is turn your head to the side. The sounds the monster is making start to change, sounding more frenzied, almost as if it’s in pain, and you flit your eyes in its direction just in time to see its entire body explode. The monster's guts and bright purple blood fly off in every direction, getting on the floor, the ceiling, the zombified bodies of the people unfortunate enough to be nearby, but not on you.
This is Satoru Gojo’s doing.
He steps in front of you, half turned towards you as he moves in between you and the body snatcher. His hands are shoved in his pockets as he loudly says, “Did you really forget about me?”
You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or the body snatcher.
Past him, the imposter scowls, raising his hand once more, probably to summon even more monsters, but Gojo’s quicker, and it almost looks like his eyes are glowing even brighter, the blue looking almost white as he whips his head in the faker’s direction. The sound of mangling flesh and breaking bones echoes throughout the room as Gojo, using that mysterious power of his, seems to break the faker’s arm.
The body snatcher hisses loudly and despite the fact that his face is twisted in very obvious pain, he tries to shoot Gojo a mocking smile. “Do you really think you can kill your best friend again?”
“I already told you,” Gojo turns to fully face the monster inhabiting Geto’s corpse. He tilts his head a little to the side and some force starts to squeeze at the faker’s neck. “You’re not Suguru.”
You hear a loud crack as Gojo telekinetically snaps his neck.
The head rolls onto the ground and you almost look away, but then you notice his eyes still moving, looking around. Is he still alive? Then you remember: the thing possessing Suguru Geto’s body was some kind of parasite. “Gojo! Wait! The brain!”
He reacts almost instantly, head turning and in an instant the skull is crushed and all that remains is red splotch on the ground.
You almost relax. Almost.
But the body is still standing.
Horrified, you watch as it quivers violently before falling to the ground. Then what looks like dozens of black spirits start to erupt from the corpse and the entire room is engulfed with a shrill howling.
What the hell is going on?
“Those must be all the cursed spirits he consumed,” Gojo explains uselessly, voice barely audible over the screaming. “Guess he was empty before.”
You don’t bother asking what he means. There are bigger problems right now. “What do we do?”
“No choice to exorcise them,” he answers plainly.
For him to exorcise them, he means. You both know that there’s not much that you can do. You still can’t move and honestly, you don’t even know if it’s possible to get out of the prison realm’s restraints. Not without dying. And if you die now…
Everything will have been for naught.
You’ll reset time and have to do this all over again— assuming you can even get to this point again.
There has to be something, you just have to think outside the box.
Or rather—
“Gojo!”
He glances back at you.
“You need to seal me in the prison realm!” you exclaim. He turns to face you fully, looking bewildered and you start to explain as fast as you can. “Those things are going to attack any minute right? I can’t move or try to hide and I can’t expect you to protect me the entire time and if I die then I’ll end up looping time again, but— but, if you seal me in the prison realm then that won’t happen.”
Gojo frowns, looking conflicted. “You don’t think I can do it?”
“Wouldn't it be easier if you didn’t have to?”
He tilts head and you think he’s conceding your point.
“Please,” you beg, staring at him desperately. “We don’t have much time. The other… cursed spirits will wake up soon too!”
You don’t have to explain that you mean Volcano Head and friends.
It takes only a second for Gojo to consider the very few options you have. “...how do you seal it? Do you know?”
“I think so,” you answer. “There’s no guarantee it’ll work but I think that if you say ‘prison realm, gate close’ it should seal me inside.”
If anything, it’s worth a shot.
Gojo nods. “Do you know how to break the seal?”
“I… don’t,” you confess. You never asked, and you don’t think the body snatcher would have told you even if you did. He only told you that it holds one and that…
That time doesn’t flow in the box.
“...you don’t have to break the seal.”
Gojo frowns, “Wait a sec—”
“Even if I make it past tonight… What if this all happens again? What if I inadvertently trap myself in another time loop?” you ask. “I… I don’t want to have to go through all of this again. It’s better for me in a place where time doesn’t pass.”
You don’t know for sure if it’ll be better, but right here, right now, it seems like the best option.
It feels like an eternity passes before Gojo says anything.
“...fine,” he agrees and you don’t quite know how to feel about it. The howling around you all grows louder. You wonder why the cursed spirits haven’t attacked yet. Maybe Gojo’s power is holding them at bay… for now anyway. You both know that he can’t ignore them forever.
“...before I do, though, mind if I ask you just one thing?”
You blink. “Not sure what I can do for you in this state…”
He laughs. “I just want to know your name.”
What an odd request. Though, now that you think about it, you don’t think that during this loop or any other loop really, you’ve ever told him your name. It only seems fair to tell him, since you’ve known his for longer than he’s known of your existence.
You tell him your name.
He nods, looking as if he’s committing to memory. Probably easier to remember than his phone number. “Any last words?”
You try to think of something. Nothing comes to mind and you just shake your head.
Gojo takes a deep breath, “Alrighty then… Prison realm, gate close.”
Just as it did the many times you’ve seen Satoru Gojo sealed away, the boxes and restraints around you vibrate a little before they start to close around you, growing large enough to fit your body as they approach.
You won’t see it, but once you’re inside the box will shrink and become small enough to fit in the palm of someone’s hand.
Will it be quiet inside?
In your final seconds, some words, some last words come to mind, and you say them, hoping that he hears them in time. “Thank you, Satoru Gojo.”
You burn the glittering glow of his brilliant bright blue eyes into your mind.
And then, everything is engulfed in an unending black.
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It’s November 30, 2018— morning on the campus of Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School.
Satoru Gojo strides through the school grounds, casually tossing a small silver box with eerie blue eyes known as the prison realm up and down in his grasp. Walking at his side is Shoko Ieiri, a pretty woman who’s been unfortunate enough to have been Satoru’s friend since high school.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Shoko asks, twirling a few strands of her long brown hair.
“What do you mean?” Satoru responds nonchalantly. “All my ideas are good ideas.”
Shoko hums in clear dissent, but doesn’t say anything more. Even she knows better than to try and waste her time trying to argue with Satoru. “I’m just worried about their mental state. Didn’t you say that time doesn’t flow in the box?”
“I’d be worried if it was some normal person,” Satoru says. “But after what they’ve gone through I think they’ll be fine.”
“...well, if you say so.”
The two arrive at their destination: the largest training area on the Jujutsu High grounds. Satoru places the prison realm at the center and takes a few steps back with Shoko standing behind him, in case anything happens.
He doesn’t think it will, but it’s always good to take at least a few precautions.
“Gojo, are you sure we should be doing this?” Shoko asks again. “Didn’t they want to remain in the box?”
“Of course I am,” Satoru says with his usual air of confidence before looking back at the prison realm nestled in the grass. He grins and then—
“Prison realm, gate open.”
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if you made it this far. thank you. it's my sincerest hope that you enjoyed the ride. 3
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nealcassatiel · 3 years ago
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Why was the Prequel announced sooo early? Why is Jared being super dumb? Why might his tweets cause SERIOUS issues for the future of the prequel? Why should Jensen and Dannel be livid and actually quite worried as CEOs?
I see lots of people, Jared being the main one, super confused as to why the Prequel was announced in Deadline when apparently its still just an idea? Surely its further down the road, development-wise, than Deadline and Jensen and Daneel are saying? Surely Jared has been left out of months and months of development of this show??? Well, no. Not really. This is what i think, as someone who works in TV development...
A lot of questions have occurred as to why Jared may not have known about the Ackles’ prequel, and yes it might be because they haven’t talked, but let’s look at this from an industry perspective…
Of course the project may already have NDAs attached to it, and as it seems to be in the incredibly early stages, there may not even be anything to the project right now. Working in TV development, you can have big announcements in the Trade publications (such as Deadline) with just an idea for a project with maybe one high profile talent attached. When the company’s ive worked for announce a project in it’s really early stages, without even a script and just an idea but also with IMPORTANT TALENT ATTACHED, it is for one reason: finance. The prod company and the Trade magazine work together to announce the project and it’s all planed. 
So I would guess that maybe Jensen and Daneel’s prod company are looking for extra financing? That is always why the companies ive worked for have made super early announcements like this, without even a script or an entire treatment written. If you announce a project super early but there is big talent attached, then big industry financiers may read, see the project has legs and has buzz around it already, and plonk in their money early on. 
I know it seems like if Deadline announce a project then that infers that lots has been done to develop the show already, but especially with the pandemic and the industry not doing well from a dev and prod point of view, and especially because Jensen and Daneel’s prod company hasn’t made anything yet (even if it does have a co-production deal with Warner Bros television), they still might need to get financing during the early stages of the project. Anyway, it makes sense that very little has been done on the prequel show, and they just want early buzz for financiers. So they got their PR team to talk to Deadline and Deadline and Warner Bros TV and J&D’s prod company’s PR team set up a date for the article to go out to get optimal buzz in line with when financing needs to get off the ground. 
I don’t know, but I’m sure J&D’s prod company paid a lot for the spin-off rights / general supernatural IP. So that’s a lot of sunken costs already. Also, even with The CW on board, the industry is pretty shaky right now and they still might need early financing from international distributers. 
Anyway, all I’m saying is that lots of times, when a project so early in development gets a Trade publication announcement, it’s to secure financing for the project, or to raise the awareness of a new production company, like J&A’s company. Maybe they have a whole slate of projects and are looking for co-producers, and need some legit PR to play with the other big lads in the industry (however, Chaos Machine could do with like… i mean the bare minimum of a website,, unless anyone can see their website? i cant find one?) Maybe they just want to focus on the SPN prequel. But even so, why do they need money, you ask?
If the CW is involved, and if Warner Bros television is co-producing, then why do the Ackles’s prod company need money? Surely the CW can support them and make the show?! Well… i mean, yes they could. But the Ackles wouldn’t necessarily WANT that. You see, whichever company funds the show, gets most of the creative rights to the show. The big issue with SPN was always that the CW/Warner Bros TV probably had things like ‘the final cut privalege’, and could ALWAYS have the final say on scripts. Having been through that on SPN, Jensen needs his production company to retain creative control over the IP and the rights, and for that to happen is prod co NEEDS to fund a majority of the costs. So the Ackles’ need to secure a heck of a lot of financing as a separate entity to the CW. This will mean they might get financiers, other prod cos, distribution companies, and such on board, just by an early announcement of a big project that already has legs and a buzz around it and YOU CAN HELP GET IT MADE AND GET A SLICE OF THE PROFITS ONCE IT’S MADE. See how great this project is ALREADY? Give us some money to help us retain the creative rights and get it made, then you get whatever percentage of the show’s profits. A great investment right? Look at our willing and lovely fanbase! We’re like a big family! A big, happy, fa — *enter Jared with a bulldozer*
SO. With this PR disaster from Jared’s stupid rage tweets like he’s a child, what’s the situation now? I mean, all press is good press… kind of? 
I expect the announcement has something to do with money. Either the project needs money or J&D’s production company needs money. I expect the Ackles are looking for financing, but now is their lovely PR stunt to try to get the project financially off the ground, or at least the PR stunt to try to make sure THE ACKLES retain creative rights by majorly funding the project in jeopardy? 
It depends. Certainly Jared storming in and destroying the idea of a solid and family-like fanbase is going to hamper things. Jared destroying the brotherly vibe, a central theme of the IP, is going to be an issue, but the statements J&J put out to end the drama, and Deadline’s unbelievably obvious ‘solve the drama PR’ where they wrote about the drama ‘All’s well that ends well. After some Supernatural drama that mobilized the series’ legions of fans Thursday night and Friday morning, showcasing the series’ massive social media reach, the #spnfamily is happily back together after a heart-to-heart between Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.’ (https://deadline.com/2021/06/jared-padalecki-supernatural-prequel-reaction-bummed-gutted-the-winchesters-jensen-ackles-the-cw-1234781475/) will help. Side note, Deadline writing the announcement article with the Ackles to help them get good PR for a project, then having to write an article to solve the bad PR that was caused by their original ‘this’ll be great PR’ article is pretty hilarious. 
Basically, I don’t know if this’ll really affect the reason for the article: getting the Ackle’s money for the project. Whether it will affect the project or how much creative control the Ackles can keep if the CW does have to step in and fund it, I don’t know. But Jared obviously has no idea about how television development works, and certainly has no idea that shows so early in development have these trade publication announcements for financing (a pretty obvious and known-about thing to anyone who works at a film or tv company). Jared also seemed to think that BECAUSE it was announced in Deadline, THAT MUST MEAN that the project was more than an idea with some creatives attached, which again shows that he doesn’t understand how projects in development work and why they’re so often announced when there isn’t even a proper treatment let alone script. The dude is obviously clueless, and there is J&D trying to run a production company which pulls PR moves like this regularly, as an industry standard.
So, even if this doesn’t jeopardise the projects financing, and therefore the control the Ackle’s prod company has over the project, the personal effect this will have on Jensen could be huge. Jared, with his stupid uninformed idea that he’s been left out of loads of development of a project just because it was announced in a magazine, could be read by Jensen as really putting his baby of a project in danger. The article was about money, and what if Jared’s tweets mean that they won’t be able to fund it? What if the CW does have to majority fund it and therefore keep creative control like they did with SPN? Like, this is Jensen and his wife’s COMPANY. Which they’ve already sunken costs into? Like… this is their FINANCIAL FUTURE Jared has stuck his foot into? That article WAS ABOUT MONEY FOR THEIR COMPANY. OF COURSE IT WAS. And now Jared has put their company, and financial future into question potentially? DUMB IDIOT. 
Anyway, that’s how announcements like this work, this is why they normally happen when a project is so early in its development it seems silly to even ‘announce’ anything. Someone forward this to Jared plz and thanks. xxx
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thekatebridgerton · 3 years ago
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Ever consider the Bridgertons as a Mafia family AU? Like, the aesthetically pleasing sight of them in all black, Violet going down hall and one by one from oldest to youngest child appear either side of her. Right: Anthony, Colin, Eloise, Gregory. Left: Benedict, Daphne, Francesca, Hyacinth. Just Violet in the centre. Bonus: the spouses are normal people who wanted a normal life… most of them.
Omg yesss. I can see this totally happening.
-Daphne and Simon, with Daphne convincing Simon the very normal investment banker to be her cover/ Alibi anytime she's out playing honeypot for the mafia. Except they do fall in love and Simon joins the family business.
-Anthony and Kate as the typical mobster/ detective enemies to lovers where Kate is always trying to arrest him. But one day she shows up at his place badly injured because he's the only one she trusts not to kill her and Anthony absolutely loses it and goes on a murder spree on whoever hurt his favorite detective. Eventually Anthony and Kate come to a compromise and they open a detective agency together with him as a partner consultant
-Benedict falling inlove with a mystery girl at one of their mafia parties. But also absolutely crushing on Sophie the hard working barista of his favorite coffee shop. Until Araminta tries to sell Sophie to a pimp behind her back and Benedict practically kidnaps her and sets her up to be his mother's maid because there's no way he's letting her go back there. And unless she plans on letting him kill Araminta, she's his now, and he's keeping her. Even if she refuses to be his mistress. but eventually Benedict does give up the mafia to confess his love and have that normal life Sophie wants.
-Colin thinks his sister's best friend is the only thing pure and innocent in his life. Until he follows Penelope to a bdsm club and discovers she's actually into stuff way badder than him. Oh the betrayal, but also, the makeup sex. And friends to lovers passion, joining teams to build their own crime ring
-Eloise went undercover pretending be the cousin of some bothanist dead wife because he was developing a deadly plant excellent for mafia uses. But she got too carried away playing house with this Phillip and his kids. Fell in love And decided to marry him for real behind her family's back. When her 4 mobster brothers tried to kill him Phillip was not amused. But turns out he's a boxer and an excellent shot, so he fits right in with the family business and as long as Eloise doesn't leave him, he's okay with pretty much anything, her family's crimes included. (Years later it's Eloise who takes over for Violet after Anthony goes civilian)
-Francesca tried getting out and married John. But when he was murdered and she discovered that John's cousin Michael is sort of a mobster himself. so he pulls her back into the criminal world while they figure out who murdered John. Michael seduces Francesca, and Francesca seduces Michael. They marry and low key run the Scottish criminal world
-Hyacinth went on a seduction mission to steal Gareth's ancestral family diamonds, but the diamonds were fake and she ended up seduced herself. Teaming up with Gareth to bring down his narc of a father. Hyacinth never actually finds out what Gareth does for a living. Opposing mob Madam Agatha Danbury prefers it that way. Neither ever tells the other that they're 3rd generation mafia kids
-Gregory Fell in love with a popular girl in school and asked her best friend for help. He ends up liking the friend a lot more. After some time hanging out with him Lucy stumbles on Gregory's mob identity and he ends up teaching her all about it. Turns out Lucy is good at this. Because her uncle is a total creep. And she basically learned intimidation tactics at home. Gregory realizes he's inlove and she's inlove with him too. But when her uncle puts her in danger to save himself from charges of national treason. Gregory does everything he can to save her.
Someone plz write this!! Plz 🥺🥺
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goodbyeapathy8 · 1 year ago
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Former English lit + philosophy major who has a LOT of thoughts on unsolicited concrit & dominated a Discord discussion on this recently... *takes a deep breath, plz buckle your seatbelts for this ride* *in this essay I shall-*
AO3 is a different landscape than other sites for me, personally, and social media in general. It's an escape for me. A playground, so to speak.
It's a place where I go to practice my writing without fear of perfection. Perfection is what holds me back from actually working on my original works and submitting the damn manuscripts to an agent so I can be published and live my dreams as someone who's paid to write.
And when I go to the playground, I'm not looking to hear "you're swinging the wrong way" or "that's not how you go down the slide".
Most people, and I say this kindly, do not know how to give actually good concrit. This is not being elitist but it's actually pretty hard to critique and be helpful. It's not easy, at all.
A lot of people struggle to tell the difference between feedback and opinion. Objectivity and subjectivity can be hard to differentiate, to b e very honest. Social media has encouraged us to opinionate constantly. What I'm interested in when I write isn't your opinion. It's how you feel. Did my words move you? Did you laugh?
Especially if the work is not completed. How do you actually know that what you're criticizing won't be cleared up at the end? How do you know the author isn't going back to edit it afterwards? And... why do you assume the author doesn't know?
For me, I know the fics I post up aren't perfect. Again - the playground idea. I'm aware of most of my writing flaws.
Here's my usual rant about perfection as it pertains to capitalism. There's this really weird expectation for free labor as well as perfection in today's world that I blame corporations and capitalism for.
We, as human beings, are messy, incomplete, works in progress. Very few of us achieve the level of perfection because most of us don't have entire teams that help us get to that point, which corporations and celebrities have. A lot of us, thanks to the internet, have been exposed to levels of perfection that it is simply impossible for the average person to get to.
I've been in the process of decolonizing and that applies to reading as well. The capitalist standards for perfection in published works (having continuity, character development, grammar, spelling, etc etc) - why should they matter in fanfic?
Perfection is an artificial and unobtainable notion.
Likewise - thinking authors are looking for concrit in order to "improve" their writing is a huge assumption. Again - capitalism. I rebel against the idea of having to improve for the sake of improving because that's "progress".
Write for fun. Post for fun. Do it because it's fun, not because you have an end goal or society thinks you should have one, anyways.
Like advice, unsolicited concrit also assumes that the author is on the same page as you - willing and able to receive it, without spiraling. So many of us struggle with our mental health and a lot of us use AO3 as therapy, whether right or wrong (almost used "write" instead of right). I'd rather err on the side of "do the least harm as possible, especially on the internet, with strangers" emphasis on strangers. None of my readers know where I am, health wise, on any given day. Choose kindness.
I get the intent of unsolicited concrit and that most of it comes from a place of "wanting to help". I'm not a doctor but I take the Hippocratic oath seriously. I find that most people have this desire to "want to help" but do not have the thought in the back of their minds to "do no harm while helping".
So many things are free in the world we live in today. We used to have to pay ten cents to send a text and I think that idea was engraved in my head so I try to be careful with my words. But a lot of folks are used to internet being fast and things being posted quickly and immediately so I feel like there's less cautiousness in general. It costs people nothing to leave a comment within seconds, without a thought.
Last point - the Dunning Kruger scale. I think the people who are most qualified to give criticism, don't. And people that aren't, do.
At the end of the day, I see the choices in leaving a comment and what that achieves as a result. For me, the goal in commenting is really the fact that I'd love for the author to continue writing. And when it comes to "do no harm" I find that attempted concrit leans hard on preventing authors from writing or making them pause.
Let people have the freedom to play without consequences. This is a playground, not a boardroom.
I like the idea that I'm contributing some joy and happiness back to the world by my fics. There's not enough of it. And by equivalent exchange, I'd love if readers contributed that back in comments by encouraging authors. That, to me, is the truly helpful aspect versus any sort of critical feedback.
There is not a single degree, combination of degrees, job, or set of experiences that can possibly “qualify” you to leave unsolicited crit on a piece of fanfiction, because it’s not a MATTER of education or knowledge. It’s a matter of etiquette, and if you leave unsolicited crit on fanfiction, then you’re lacking the only skill necessary to master said etiquette: manners. 
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oraganji · 3 years ago
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IF ANYONE WANTS WRITING INSPO
ok here’s the thing. I’m way too lazy and unmotivated to write a whole series, I am in awe of anyone who can actually do that or has done it. But in the spirit of ✨ hypocrisy✨ , of course I love reading them, and thinking about ideas for some series that will never actually come to fruition. So, for all the ACOTAR writers out there, I have a way-too-long idea for an Azriel x reader that I want to read as a series, or even like a couple of snippets of writing. Here it is:
Ok, so our (preferably female bc it’s my request but I’m not trying to disclude people here it’s just my preference) MC (I like the name Kora/Cora, or Arya, whatever, but y’know, since I’m not writing this, it’s not exactly my decision to make, it could just be Y/N, that’s fine too). Anyways, she’s half-seraphim, from Cretea, and is the commander of the seraphim/Cretea army. Now, here’s where the pick your story begins. I was thinking that she could be Drakon’s sister or something, to make her a princess, even though she only acts like a commander (I love nicknames that have a meaning. So like if Azriel calls the reader angel, it’s because of her white seraphim wings, and if he calls her princess, it’s because she actually is one). So she can either be his sister, or just the commander. She was old enough to have fought in that big war that happened with Miryam and stuff about the humans or whatever. IMPORTANT PART OF THIS: MC has water and ice powers, but to a massive scale. Like she can raise ocean tides, create snow/hailstorms, all that good stuff. I was thinking she could be called a Tidemaker, like in the Grishaverse, but you could totally change around the name. That’s the base of her character. Other than what I described, free reign to whoever is crazy enough to read/write this.
So now, I think of this as a slight (major) rewrite. This takes place right after Feyre makes it back home from enemy Tamlin. So, Hybern’s armies attack Createa for some UnKnOwN reason. Maybe MC’s dad/parental figure dies in the battle, and MC is filled with grief and rage. MC fights against them until she’s bloody and battered, using the ocean and sky as her weapons. Cretea is utterly destroyed, and she tries flying to a safe place. She had met Rhysand, Cassian, and our boy Azriel before during that Great War, because she was a commander, and the Night Court was allied with Cretea at the time. She remembers this, and tries to fly all the way to Velaris. She just makes it before collapsing/passing out, and Azriel’s shadows bring him to her.
Now, our boy is shocked because he actually used to have a little crush on MC the war so many decades ago. He sees her about to die and starts to ✨ panic✨ , obviously. So, I’m thinking he tells his shadows to find Madja, and busts into the House of Wind or something, and like alerts everyone by just saying “it’s Kora/Arya/MC”. So blah blah blah, cute Azriel taking care of MC moments, she tells them what she remembers about being attacked, etc. ALSO, i think it would be SO GREAT if Cassian and Rhysand called her Goose, instead of dove, or one of those other cheesy nicknames. Geese still have white wings, so it kinda fits. I just think it would be kinda funny if the first time they were meeting to discuss war strategy, MC showed off all of her powers, and established herself as a powerful, bad b****h, and these idiots call her a goose. AnYwAyS, time skip to the meeting with the high lords cause I don’t think things through. MC comes in later than our night court buddies because she “likes to make an entrance”, and walks in there with like a crown of gold laurels (i like that as a crown idea), and like a sage green dress or something (GREEN AND GOLD IS SO PRETTY), and is all like “hello ladies! and boys. What did I miss?” after not being there for like 200 years. Everyone is shocked, and she has a little spat with Beron, where she’s like “You’re just itching to play, huh Beron? Well, I’ll warn you, fire doesn’t tend to thrive with someone like me *smirk*.” I’M DYING. And meanwhile Azriel’s *mini* crush is slowly developing even more. So after that idc what happens, BUT. I think it would be great if Cassian made MC a general or something to help him out in the war with Hybern. Then, when she goes to leave after the war, to rebuild Cretea, and Rhys and Cass ask her to stay, she give a condition, which is that she wants to train the Illyrian girls. And she would leave after she feels like that initiative is set in place. So once she sees that females are being trained, she leaves. Later, Cass invites her for winter solstice very last minute, so she comes with one gift, for our special somene, AZZY BOY!. And it’s a moonflower in an ice sphere, cause headcannon: Azriel likes moonflowers, and so does MC. One day they were walking together or flying together, and she saw some, and pointed them out. Then Azriel plucked one and TUCKED IT IN HER HAIR OMG GET ME SOMEONE LIKE AZRIEL. And he’s like amazed that she remembered and saved the flower. Crush level rising. But at the same time, Elain seems interested in him, which MC can see, and thinks that Az likes Elain, so she goes back to Cretea cause she a little bit jelly.
I’m not a romance writer, so I was just thinking that once Cretea is close to rebuilt, MC invites everyone to come visit, and is taking a stroll with Azriel. She sees moonflowers again, and this time she plucks one and puts it in his hair, and goes “Damn. I bet I didn’t look this good when that thing was in my hair.” And then Azriel mutters under his breath, “you did. you looked ethereal. like an angel.” but MC kinda hears a little bit of it, so she gives Azriel a little kiss on his jaw, cause she can’t reach his cheek (THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE I’M SCREAMING) and says “I heard that Az. I think you look ethereal too.” He’s one blushy boy after this. omg why am I like this. But, plot twist, Elain saw this whole interaction go down and gets PISSED. Meanwhile, MC drags Azriel around, while he trails behind her like an awestruck puppy. She finds a starfruit tree (which I’m making native to Cretea, like it’s a rare thing elsewhere) and gets some seeds from them from Elain, saying that it would be good for her garden. And Azriel just thinks about how thoughtful she is, even to people she doesn’t necessarily like. They get back, and Elain is complaining about how Azriel chose MC over her to Nesta , who I think would be besties with MC. MC walks into the room and hears. Elain realizes this and tries to insult/yell at MC. But MC just had a sad smile and goes, “I brought you some starfruit seeds, Elain. They’re only native to Cretea, and I thought it might be good for your garden. Good night Elain.” OK so this is why I think it would be good if MC was Drakon’s sister and a princess. She knows she’s a princess, but she really only considers herself to be a commander. She’s debating going back to Cretea, or staying, and she tells Azriel that she’s prob gonna leave soon. And our bat boy is all ✨ panik✨  when he hears this. He says “But I wa - everyone wants you to stay”. MC smirks and goes “what were going to say Az. They’re like really close together now, so Az leans down and gives her a gentle kiss and goes, “I want you stay”. MC is stunned for a moment, and looking dazed, goes “well then I guess I’m staying.”AHHHHHHHHH. She can prob be a general under Cass.
OK SO I DO HAVE AN IDEA FOR MORE WITH OUR ANGEL AND DEVIL. Where they discover the mating bond, there’s a big threat on Cretea, MC is a bad b***h as always, and protective Azriel makes several appearences.
Y’all can make up some situations after this as well, or if you want, which I don’t know why you would, my disorganized mess of a brain can write more about the thing above.
OMG THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG. Plz tell me if u guys liked this, or are actually gonna write this crap. And let me know is you have questions! Have a nice day lovelies!
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midnight-in-town · 3 years ago
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About the current (last?) arc of AnY and going full circle
Sorry if some fans already mentioned those ideas but I’ve been rereading the current arc, because it’s been quite long and the pace has its flaws sometimes, so I wanted to broaden my perspective on the story. 
First of all, as an introduction can I just say that I’m, as always, impressed by Hak’s character. He had so much cliché and shallow potential when the story started (I really used to roll my eyes at him), but he became one of my absolute favorite by how deep and strong-hearted he actually is, once he allows people behind the walls he built around him. Anyway, my love for his character & development knows no boundary. I had to say this, ok. I’ll explain why later in the post. Moving on. 
A conflict of generation
If there is one thing I love about Kusanagi-sensei, it’s the feminine touch she adds to her writing. For example, when she naturally addressed periods during the Xing arc and it fit perfectly, because that’s just how her writing goes. In this arc, it shows through the initial bold move to tell us readers about the past through the thoughts and words of a character we’ve never met, that is to say, Yonhi, Yuhon’s wife and Suwon’s mother. 
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And yet, it made absolute sense, because Yonhi was the reason behind the cataclysm that eventually led to Yuhon killing priests, as well as the falling-out between him and his younger brother, Il. All along, Yonhi was the silent but pained witness to this feud, watching as the ego of two brothers destroyed everything when none of the two backed down, leading to first Kashi’s death, then Yuhon’s murder and finally Suwon’s coup. 
So, in a way, even if I think Suwon makes a far better king than Yuhon or Il, his circumstances kinda precede the logical decision to get Il out of the picture before he completely annihilated his own kingdom in poverty and war, because there is too much resentment and hatred that fueled Suwon while growing up, even if we readers know that his motivations are primarily about saving Kouka from war against the Kai Empire.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely despise both Yuhon and Il but, unfortunately for Suwon, Yona growing up sheltered and mostly unaware of the horrible truth highlights her own decisions throughout the series to be completely selfless and wanting to own up to her father’s misjudgement, rather than trying to get back at Suwon, effectively breaking the cycle of hatred amongst the royal family. 
Why the Wind Tribe kept on supporting Il when everyone else could notice that he was betting on his daughter as the reincarnation of King Hiryuu to save his country is beyond me (Mundok plz explain). Not that Yuhon was better, preaching wars, and I’m glad that Il eventually reconciled with Yonhi, telling him that he would accept Suwon’s judgement but...
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...I can’t forgive him for his words. 
Like Yonhi, I’d rather he would have hoped that his conflict with his brother did not reach his children than entertaining it the way he did.
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Hopefully though, now that Yona read Yonhi’s memoirs, she will work towards achieving that goal. Not that I have any doubt, since she never really managed to hate Suwon. 
Speaking of the past generation, reading the latest chapters I couldn’t help but wonder about Yona's sad dream... could it be that she inherited Kashi’s gift? Kashi did say that she had these prophetic visions since very young which doesn’t seem to be Yona’s case, but I’ll keep the idea in mind, because it’s interesting. I mean, from Yonhi’s memoirs, it seems that Kashi envisioned that the child she would have would be Hiryuu’s reincarnation (whoever the father was going to be), so Yona inheriting the same prophetic gift from her mother would make sense. 
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What an ironic parallel to Suwon inheriting the Crimson Illness from Yonhi if that’s the case, am I right? 
Yona as Kouka’s next Queen
And by that I do not mean Keishuk’s plan to marry her to Suwon, because of her popularity with Kouka’s people. Obviously, the story always was to conclude in Yona getting her throne back and that’s even easier to imagine with Suwon’s disabling illness, but becoming a ruler is tough work and Yona had no real experience acting as a leader for an entire country. 
She didn’t know much before her father’s murder and, even after she became a runaway with Hak and the rest of the HHB, she finely dealt with crises affecting some parts of the kingdom but never the whole kingdom at once, like it’s doomed to happen with the war against the Kai Empire. 
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So I really appreciated her stepping up when Suwon couldn’t, because that’s definitely good training and we see the results in the latest chapters:
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To be fair, I always thought that Keishuk would be the biggest thorn in Yona’s side during this arc but, as many characters have said in this arc, he’s rather clever and honest about what he intends to achieve, which is why it’s not in his interests to get in the way of Yona if they share a similar goal. 
Looking forward to her facing even greater challenges. Good luck, Yona. <3
War against the Kai Empire: there is strength in unity
The Kai Empire has been depicted as the story’s big bad for a long while now and the common goal for which Yona’s faction and Suwon’s allies could unite, but I’m glad to get more specifics and new characters to explore that part of the plot.
Namely, Mei and Vall. With Chagol, they seem like the perfect foil trio to Suwon, Yona and Hak, except that Chagol seems like a real thorn in the other two’s backs, when a strong bond still ties our main trio in spite of the sad circumstances of the beginning. I particularly love the mirroring reflection between Mei and Yona...
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&
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...except that Mei is not at odds with one kingdom but with two and that she also deals with the Crimson Illness. :/
Now that war has started, the big threat that South Kai represents will obviously be dealt with, but Kouka kingdom will need more than its five tribes to win this. That’s where I’m sure we all expect to see old “enemies” come back, namely Xing Kingdom, since Kouren signed a military agreement with Suwon, thanks to Yona and Tao. I would bet that this won’t be enough either, but Xing are the only known allies that Kouka kingdom has. 
There is another “enemy” we know from the previous arc though, who have strong feelings against the Kai Empire, specifically about rulers treating their women badly and they are...
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...Ying Kuelbo and the Tully tribe. 
The big difference between Xing Kingdom and the Tully tribe is that Suwon never met or dealt directly with Kuelbo the way he did with Kouren and Tao. The Tully tribe lost and Kuelbo ran away, betrayed and having to find a new way to take on the Kai Empire. That’s why I think the Tully tribe would eventually make for a good ally in this war: it showed good promises when Yuran and Yona got along and I think Yona understood where Kuelbo was coming from, especially now that Mei is with them and can probably tell them in details about Chagol.
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Not saying this will happen soon, but since there is someone who met and fought against Kuelbo, probably gaining his respect, if this person was to seek the Tully tribe to make them Kouka Kingdom’s ally on Yona’s guidance, I think Kuelbo would give it a thought. That’s right, I’m talking about Hak, who’s currently on his way with Yoon to the Earth Tribe to fetch a drug that will not be able to save neither Suwon nor Mei, thanks Zeno for spoiling us. 
That’s what I meant when I said that Hak slowly became one of my favorite characters throughout the story. While the Sky Tribe seems to be taking bets on who between Yona and Suwon will eventually sit for good on that throne, there is a good chance that Hak will be one of the key players when it comes to winning that war against South Kai. Not that we should expect any less from the Thunder Beast. <3
To be very honest though, I expected this arc to be very tough for his character, because the truth behind Il’s death and Suwon’s coup would never be easily understandable to him (Yona’s own words, not mine): 
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Yet, surprisingly he was able to at least listen and, no matter if he will ever understand Suwon’s choice or not, he decided to trust in Yona’s decision to back Suwon in the rising political issues.  
In general, I love how Hak is the least bound by the past before Suwon’s coup. He did respect Il as his king, but he did not protect Yona in the beginning for anyone else’s sake but her own. Just like Kashi once asked him to always protect Yona (which is sweet since she could see the future) but, considering he never even thought about her words once in the story, it’s likely he doesn’t remember that at all, making the choice to be by Yona’s side defined as solely his own. 
It’s this strength of his that eventually led him to say recently that he would go fetch that drug with Yoon, knowing that it was for Suwon’s sake (surprising Suwon himself), just like he will definitely fight for Kouka Kingdom, not because Yona wants him to but because it’s clearly his own desire (see ch211 where he let Yun go alone so that he could help the Earth Tribe fight):
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All that makes Hak the wildest card of every agency in the plot, not simply because he’s strong and reliable and the biggest worry of the Sky Tribe, but because...
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...Yona and the four dragons will never give him up.
Through Hak, Yona will be able to assert her political weight and he will be there for her, like he always was, making it impossible for their little group to lose. What a power move, I love it. 
I think I should stop there because I already rambled so much. Looking forward to the rest of the arc, it’s going to be a wild ride!! 
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