#someone give them their pills
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POV you're a teddy bear
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#my art#old world blues#Dr. Dala#She...they#KINDA FREAKY?!!!#someone give them their pills
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I think the reason beckory works well is that tony has a habit of getting self righteous and in his own head about things but Gregory isnt afraid to tell him off or call him out about things. the point of tony in ggy is that nobody ever told him that how hes treating other people isnt good, so that's why he got so bad. but tony would be close to Gregory and have every rational reason in the world to listen to Gregory so when he would say something like "you're treating ellis badly and that's not what a good friend does, you need to do better" hed actually listen and take it into account and improve himself
#everyone in ggy is oblivious but gregory wouldnt be#hed be used to flawed people by being family with vanessa and freddy and best friends with cassie#and in turn tony#so when tony showcases traits of being flawed he cares about him and can look past them bc he knows tony is a good person#but he also keeps him in check when he goes too far#gregory who would fight someone so intensely he would be put in the hospital if someone insulted cassie:#tony you shouldnt resent ellis and say hes annoying just because he doesnt know all about this journalist from the 1920s#i think the concept of Gregory trying to be normal and live a normal life with 3 star fam and actively having to make it happen#is interesting#bc i feel like tony is so abnormal and has become disconnected from reality especially in a scenario where he lives after the ggy attack#that interacting wiht gregory whos so strange and interesting and mysterious but also has both feet rooted in the present and reality#would do him a lot of good#just make him finally take a step back and see the bigger picture and take a chill pill#also its ironic bc gregory is secretly in his head trying soo hard to be normal and do normal things#and it appears so effortless to Tony that it literally fixes him#i love thinking gregory and others relationships as Gregory not really doing anything but he still affects ppl so heavily#like gregory just existing and freddy developing a soul and sentience and finding a will to live and a purpose after dropping lead singer#gregory almost accidentally saving vanessa and just existing in her life being someone she wants to live for#giving her the motivation to get back up and eventually allowing her to heal enough to want to enjoy life by herself#Gregory doing nothing but being cassies friend and it changes her after a lifetime of abandonment#to the point where it makes her happy and fufilled and brings out the determination and bravery in her#and finally gregory with tony where him just being in tonys life not trying hard to help him out and change his way of seeing life#actually does the most to change his life and shows him that he can view things differently and that now#he finds that he WANTS to#pandas.txt#3 star fam#beckory#superstar duo#gregory#tony
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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my tests all came back basically normal 💕 i am no longer disabled. love and light
#ok i'm still disabled but i'm no longer dying#autoimmune tag#blood sugar was JUST over the line into abnormal but i can reverse that with walks + not eating like a 12-year-old#when you're almost 28 you can no longer use sour skittles as cheap meal replacements.#you CAN use them as sleeping pills. mainline a king sized package give it ninety minutes and youll be knocked flat on ur back for the night#however. habitually doing this will make ur blood tests come back wonky.#the more u know.#disordered eating#I GUESS. it's more eating like an idiot than truly disordered but. someone asked me to tag it ages ago so.
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So the RBR racing strategy is *checks notes* casual acts of violence on track?
#what is possesing MV and checo??????#someone give them a chill pill and an exorcism#f1#japanese gp 2023
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cannibalising is so interesting fr, i love the psychological aspect of it and all but ;; i also just really wanna try it. for funsies. for the shit and giggles. i think the concept of someone being like 'sure, you can eat my flesh' and another one going 'sweet ! thx !' is the funniest thing ever
#rambles 🧸#someone let me take a bit of them please#i'll treat you well before that ... ill cook you dinner ... and then i'll give u sleeping pills so ur arent awake while i take a bit out#of u <3#(obligatory disclaimer for tumblr but uhrrrrm fantasy only i do not encourage eating others human beings)#saw stuff abt cannibalising on my tl so it motivated this post
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The bottle is so hard to open and the pills are so tiny, but i did it. (Aren’t you proud of me, big brother?)
#<3#poetry#siblings#ask to tag#this is not a regular thing you should do. do not stick your fingers in someone’s mouth if they’re having a seizure#i was giving him prescription medicine#guess what!!! another poem about my brother!! who could’ve seen that coming!!!#the teeth marks have already faded i feel like ive lost something integral to who i am as a person#but whatever#also those pills ARE SO SMALL!!! i almost dropped that mfer a million times before i got close to his fuckin mouth#anyways. this one is about feeling like a small child who needs their big brother to save them and fix things#but big brother is the one that needs to be saved. so the world sucks.
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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me - discovering it's that time of the month this morning; "oh, no wonder I was so sad and depressed last week..."
#i hope that the blood coming through this quickly today means my period will be normal this time round?#because if i have to fill out another online form to try and get the drugs i use to make it so when it goes on for longer than it should#I'm gonna scream at someone in my gp's surgery#i asked then last time to put me on a repeat prescription and the dickhead who i spoke to the first time around said#i shouldn't be taking them every month#but I'm not asshole and i told you that so he just tells me I'll prescribe you the meds this time round but I'll get your actual gp#to give you a call when she's back next week#even then she didn't call me for another week AFTER they said she would call...#and we didn't even talk about the possibility of putting these meds on a repeat prescription she only mentioned maybe going on the pill#which isn't really an option because they don't help with what i need them to...#fml#sorry for the rant i just I'm dreading this if this period goes on for longer than 7 days#aimz talks
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like
ritsu = "no" is meaningless to him because he has the power to do literally anything he wants without consequence and "no" will just drive him to do everything in his power to violate the "no" because he wants to exercise power because the one time he lost control. well. sanae.jpg
nisei = "no" is just background noise to him because he's been told "no" his entire life to the point where he would literally be sitting in the dark staring at a wall if he just obeyed every "no", like he's been trained, effectively, to ignore "no" as self preservation. which is ironic because i firmly believe that after seimei took control of his life nisei spends all his time sitting alone in the dark at home waiting for seimei to tell him what to do.
#which sort of gives more space for my pill problem nisei theory bc if i learned anything growing up in opioid country it's that if there is-#LITERALLY Nothing Else For People To Do and No One To Talk To they will do drugs.#it's like out of boredom and people with a.spd are prone to chronic boredom and also to addiction. but it's also a loneliness thing.#like the loneliness and boredom have interplay.#but also seimei is a manipulative freak and like. manipulators will absolutely use someone's addiction against them or get people addicted#on purpose in order to control them better there's a specific term for it but i forget what. i was reading an article about it the other--#day but ANYWAY. i think seimei is not above getting nisei addicted on purpose in order to control him more. and this would also be an--#interesting interplay with ritsu's apparent drug problem and soubi's disdain for it.#and it's interesting that soubi seems to be coming to pity nisei. idk there's a lot going on here screams.
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i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.
#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh#even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up.#and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and#‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’#except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him.#i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all.#but the thing is: time bubble.#even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse#when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see#how deep they are.#something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will#destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them.#<3 healthy and normal relationship.#i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly)#let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days.#and let me tell you: even’s had some days.#endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows#and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the#last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a#reaction to the people around them.#dw oc#and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy.#i could. i wont! but i could.
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mf cant go a second without spinning/panicking his head off
yes i am aware these are mostly smear shots hes that hard to capture
anyway hes so me
#runningman animation#rambles#comfort character#im kinda scared to tag thrm#rma#idk lets try#guardians#vivace#HE DOES SO MANY LIMB MOVEMENTS LIKE?? /VPOS#hc he overstims#a lot#im kinda scared to talk about these guys cuz i feel like nobody acknowledges them#someone give him a chill pill pls
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Hehehe hohoho thinking about throwing Post-Canon Tim into Undertale. Just him and Frisk going through the underground, making friends
#and also at the end they defeat the Operator#with the power of Friendliness Pellets :)#and The God of Hyperdeath#and this knife Frisk found!#anyways I have thought about what his starting items would be#Weapon - Pocket Knife. Armor - Worn-out Flannel#he also of course has a bottle of pills#and a pack of cigarettes#he can also see Chara but since Frisk doesn't talk‚ he just assumes they're another hallucination#Chara even translates monster text and sign language for him‚ and he just assumes he must've already known this stuff#and this is how his mind is supplying that info to him#then Frisk starts interacting with Chara directly and he's just. a bit nervous about the ghost child#bc of course‚ the last time someone else could see his hallucinations they all kinda died#but they grow on him eventually. he realizes they really are just a child#man I love combining my interests#i also just like giving Frisk an adult figure to accompany them through their journey#an adult who will understand their struggle of survival#yippee!!!!#marble hornets#undertale#mh tim wright#frisk#frisk undertale
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Person I don't know on my cat blog: Here's a small essay about how to give pills to your cats spread over several replies! I am sincere and trying to be helpful and explaining as best I can!
Me, who already gave my cats their pills and announced my success on the blog over an hour earlier: ok 🤐
#i am having to tell my brain not to get indignant#they clearly didn't see the other post#they are trying to be helpful#they don't know that i've been giving cats different medications for well over a decade#and that i was only concerned about this round of meds because i have not given pills to these cats specifically#and two of them get violent if you try to restrain them#they don't know i've given pills before. i give billi the belligerent an injection every week. i've given liquid meds to cats and rabbits#i've handfed cats and rabbits. i've held both while they took their last breaths#i know how to give a cat a pill#i did it already. it went very well.#they don't know that tho#so i am letting this out on my mod blog instead of ranting at someone who was only trying to help#whewf#ranting#rambling#mod post#ask to tag#pet care#cat care#medicine
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Ugh I only slept like four-ish hours, I wish I could fall back asleep
#this is goggles#otc sleep aids honestly kinda suck#bleh I wish I could be held it’s the best sleep aid of all#the second best is weed but I can’t get that neither#I’m gonna ruin my liver with melatonin & advil pm & Tylenol pm & those stress and sleep pills combined#I try to cycle through them to give my body a break but honestly they only seem to work when mixed which sucks#I have to work in three hours#I don’t want to work in three hours#I want to sleep with my head on someone’s chest#I hope that I have an easier time in Seattle come May
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