#someone else can solve this bullshit. im done.

[badgerclawsaresharp]

ugh

i put so much effort into this improv group and i get absolutely nothing back.

i show up to every practice and rehearsal, in fact im usually the one organizing them.

i schedule every important meeting, i follow up after every discussion.

and when its my turn to host a show im really passionate and excited about?

nobody can make it, and people drop out at the last minute, leaving me high and dry with not enough performers.

fuck this shit.

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[khodorkovskaya]

21.02.23

im in a terrible mood today!!!!

first of all because i stink! i don't know why. maybe it's hormonal or i ate something or idk. but i smell so bad! not like sweat but like a general bad odor like what's going on????

secondly, the master's degree bullshit is pissing me off! i spent the whole day writing a cover letter for this shit and i hate it. thank god for chatgpt but it doesn't help as much as i hoped it could. i mean i still have to come up with dumb shit about myself and sound enthusiastic. and i hate it!!!

and then i have no idea how to even apply! everything is online, i don't understand shit. the only way to contact people is by email and i hate emails. why can't i just call or talk to someone in person so that they could explain things to me and show how it's done? apparently i need to reapply to my uni as if i were a new student. but when i enter my student number an error message pops up like "you're already enrolled". like yeah, but it said i had to do it again! then there's also a button that says "id like to reenroll" but it sends you to a fucking contact form that says "we will reply within 3 business days". so i left a message like "hello! id like to reenroll please!". what am i supposed to do???

and then, cherry on top, i was like okay i'll deal with this reenrollment shit later, let's try to apply for the specific master's program through their online application thing. and ive already talked to a couple of people about my case and asked what i should do about the english exam bc im fluent but i don't have any like technical proof of it. and everyone was like yeahh it's fineee, you don't need a certificate if you're fluent. so i go on their online application thing and i literally can't go to the next page if i don't upload the english certificate! it says "if english is your mother tongue this is not mandatory" and at the same time when i want to go to the next page it says "this field is mandatory". so what do i do? upload a blank page?? oh and wait for it! i need another certificate no one fucking told me about! guess what it is!!! a fucking iq test!!! okay not like THE iq test but a thing called gre. and i googled what it is and it's this like fucking analytical reasoning test or whatever. and it's also racist.

and im sorry, not to be all like "i have 999 iq" but i do maths okay..?? what more proof do you need that im not stupid? qUanTiTaTiVe rEaSoNiNg how about you quantishut the fuck up!?!!!? like im smart enough to do maths but not smart enough to do a fucking economics degree when economics is basically astrology for straight people.??? like give me a break. i already declined taking an actual iq test because iq is racist and i don't want to partake in racist things. and now there's this fucking gdr bullshit. and it costs 200 bucks to take!!!! for what????

anyway i sent an email like "umm i am not taking any expensive ass exams um no thanks". like dude why can't i just go to the fucking manager of the faculty or whoever the fuck and give them my cover letter and ask my questions? noooo i have to write fucking emails and fill in their fucking contact forms. like all of this could be solved in a 5 minute conversation.

also, third thing, i went to see the students union today because i have a bone to pick with my functional analysis professor. that's a whole different story. but anyway, i wanted to know if anything could be done about that. like can i possibly refuse the grade i got bc it was unfair? huge respect to the union btw, i love them, they occupied the cafeteria last year and now we have cheap lunches, it's great. and so yeah i went to see them to ask for advice and they guided me quite well but they also asked how everyone else felt about the exam in question. and i would love to know but no one in my class wanted to talk to me about it! i sent a message today, no one replied. and then this evening i insisted and guess what! one guy replied to my message like "not to be mean, but the exam was easy".

like broooo if you're a fucking functional analysis genius good for you!!! do you want a medal or what?? the guy is a child prodigy and with all due respect, i didn't ask his opinion! like good for you if you found it easy but when you're the exception to the rule maybe you should just like not ruin it for everyone! and what's with the "not to be mean"??? why did he have to phrase it like that? like he could've just said that he found it easy and that's it. now it sounds mean when you say it like that!

anyway, im stinky and angry and all i want to do is first of all take a shower but also cuddle with my ex and not think about anything and be in love and not have to worry about uni and degrees and functional analysis and all this crap. </3

[yandereloversblog]

Hello ! Its me again !

Our interview has been going smoothly so far and im looking forward to continue this interview until I got all the information I needed! I hope I don't cause any disturbances over you but let's get this done!

! [ 𝗙𝗡𝗔𝗙 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗥 𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 ] !

Which one of the yandere would want to have a 𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰!s/o who always taking the situatio calm and doesn't like violence.

Remember... 𝗜 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞!!!

📜🎙️- 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻

𝐅𝐍𝐀𝐅

𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Interview Anon I hope to God you meant pacifist- I lowkey had to Google the difference cuz I didn't know either but anyways!

For ! [ 𝐅𝐍𝐀𝐅 ] !

I definitely think Original Freddy, Lolbit, Rockstar Bonnie, Glamrock Freddy and Glamrock Foxy would enjoy having a darling like that.

Original Freddy doesn't exactly like getting messy with all the blood and wounds, talking usually solves everything for him considering how intimidating he can become, and he'd enjoy a Darling who has less chances of getting hurt because they don't throw themselves in a physical fight.

Lolbit really admires how you try to stay calm and deal with everyone while using words rather than insults, cuz yeah that's it! Please don't get hurt! He himself will take care of any asshole who tries to hurt you.

Rockstar Bonnie is a chill dude and while he doesn't have a preference for his Darling he'd really enjoy the company of someone who doesn't like violence, not to mention he's always keeping an eye out for you if you ever try to break off a fight or are arguing against someone who will hit you.

Glamrock Freddy would be really pleased, I consider him a pacifist too to some degree and he's happy you know violence isn't everything. But boy is he STRESSED because you don't have anything to defend yourself with -even it you assured him you took defense classes just in case- so he'll be sure to protect you no matter what.

Glamrock Foxy is too tired for the bullshit that happens inside the Pizzaplex, so to have a Darling who'd rather keep it calm and not participate in violence or other dangerous situations will bring him at peace, but just makes him even more annoyed when someone tries to fight with you, he'll literally try to kill them.

For ! [ 𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ] !

For sure Naoto, Hinata, Mitsuya and Kakucho are the clear choices.

Naoto doesn't like violence either so for his Darling to rather choose words and safe situation so they don't fight is like a dream come true to him. He knows you won't get in trouble, even if you he knows it wasn't your fault so somebody else's ass is getting arrested.

Hinata has the same mindset as you so I definitely see the two of you enjoying a calm life together, of course if someone dares bother you she won't hesitate to do something to them, the gall of someone to make you upset and annoyed- let alone hurt you.

Mitsuya, despite being in a biker gang and knowing well that violence sometimes IS the answer, will most definitely enjoy having a Darling who steers clear of violence and trouble. Though he will try to teach you some self defense just in case you come across some assholes.

Kakucho has known too much violence already so someone, especially a Darling who'd rather just talk and not want anything to do with that will be a welcomed breath of fresh air... But he's just extra protective of you in response because of the possibility of you getting targeted.

[420technoblazeit]

oh my god finally someone else who’s like insane abt gorillaz lore, it’s so funny to me, if u want i can send a link to a yt video that sums up all of gorillaz’s lore in like 7 minutes since ppl in asks seem interested

oho ive seen that video that's where i started! my mom loves gorillaz she used to play it on roadtrips that's how i got into it. here's the video i think nonny's talking about, i can do a scuffed breakdown of each character, this is how they looked last phase i think?

bastard. be gay do crimes except his crimes are warcrimes. i cannot stress this enough murdoc will do literally anything for profit. most of the conflict stems from him fucking someone over and then the rest of the band dealing with the consequences. his hobbies include hedonism and bullying 2d. seriously what an asshole like dude chill out sometime. the recent phase had him kind of turn over a new leaf and realize how awful he is but im not confident it'll stick. he's done some shit

this is noodle everybody say hiiiii noodle you're so cool! girlboss. she joined the band when she was 10 so she's kind of everybody's adopted daughter but her backstory also includes her being a supersoldier. was temporary replaced by a cyborg in phase 3 when she was MIA. she's 30 now and kind of functions as the control of the band. she and russell rein murdoc in when he gets out of control. or at least they try to

2d's my favorite he's just a funky little guy look at him! scrunkle. really clumsy and he's a bit of a ditzy guy partly due to the memory issues i mentioned before. he's really sweet though just kinda chilling, a little bit of a weirdo (affectionate). if he gave murdoc a really strong kick to the balls itd solve like. half his problems tbh. do it king go apeshit i know u want to. get his ass

russell! he's not missing an eye that was just a boat-themed msuic video. he's the drummer of the band and he's a big sweetie. teases 2d every once in a while but he's very protective of his friends and he gets on murdoc's case about his bullshit pretty often. murdoc deserves it though. in the earlier phases he'd occasionally get possessed by the spirits of dead musicians including a rapper named del

[joy-haver]

✨✨✨How humanity can survive, part 1. ✨✨✨

↘️Love, Labor, and Effective helping.

↘️adhd accessibility focused on. Feel free to make and share accessible copies for other things, just tag me

:

✨✨✨intro✨✨✨

I can’t cry, laugh, move, breath, clean my self, stay dirty, get dressed, be naked, brush my hair, leave it matted, sit still, move too much, use a wheelchair, walk, literally anything without doing permanent damage to my body.

But I do about 50 hours of housework / community work a week (lowballing it), in order to make our house expenses low enough for us to survive, and help people problem solved enough to survive, and doing other important work that prevents deaths. Everything I can possibly do in order to make our world survivable.

♦️: I’m degenerating

I can only get through this and the pain it causes by getting incredibly drunk every night. I can only cope with the fact that my disability is getting worse incredibly fast by drinking.

But I have blood work Friday so I have to sober up. Which is dangerous and painful and makes me so much worse, imagine if you had to go off your addictive medication every time you went to your doctor.

Which means no pain relief, nothing too joyful, and I have to stop myself from crying, so I can’t even feel to bad about it, because crying and laughing tear up my throat, which already barely work

Plus I have so much housework and community work that needs to be done and I really can’t do it, but I’m going to anyway because everything will fall apart if I don’t, and there’s too much work to do to survive under this system.

♦️: I’m dying

I’m going to die from working myself to the bone to create a better world. I’m going to die from working myself to the bone to survive.

And I don’t even get paid for it. I didn’t ask for get my allowance from my partners this month because we genuinely can’t afford my having expendable income for things that would help me.

And until I teach them to be more responsible with money, and get one of them a better job, and get them to work more effectively so we aren’t wasting money, there will be no financial autonomy for me.

And that work falls on me too.

✨✨✨what I need✨✨✨

I can only explain what I think the world needs by starting with me.

I just need someone to cherish me. To put thought and love into me. Not half assed little compliments.

Genuine, ‘thinks about how to make my life better’ love. Genuine ‘spends time actually paying attention to me and trying to show it’ love. And I need it constantly.

But no one has the time or energy or attention span or ability. I don’t get that for more than a few minutes at a time, maybe an hour a week.

And that’s not their fault. It’s this broken fucking world. Theres too much work to do and most of it is bullshit. And so many people people just want to survive individually and fuck everyone else over constantly. And they too are victims, because they are deprived of community

🔸:it’s the eugenics and white supremacy all the way down:🔶

God is trying to kill us. The capitalists are trying to kill us. The Leninists are trying to kill us. Even half the fucking ‘anarchists’ are leaving people like me for dead while they call it praxis.

Dogmatism is a death cult. Infinite growth is a death cult. Work for the sake of work is inefficient and it’s a fucking death cult.

Im grinding myself to dust to help everyone survive, while I see people whom I love being so focused on hating themselves, and on hating their oppressors, that they never make time to even *begin* to love one another. They are living their lives in reaction. Using all of most of their energy to create harm for no reason.

It’s the ideology of war, and they are at war against community.🔘

Constantly defensive. Constantly carrying out preemptive strikes. No active compassion for anything or anyone at all. Never helping anyone except for their own enjoyment.

🔹:. abled apathy is killing me. :🔷

The most abled bodied people I know take up the most work to help. they think that their trauma excuses them from giving a shit about other people.

The most abled people I know are literally constantly hurting people instead of helping, and expecting me to clean up the mess.

The severely disabled people aren’t the ones relying on everyone else’s labor to survive. The abled people are relying on us to fill the myriad of gaps they leave with their ineffective and inefficient labor.

And we work harder than them. Because if we don’t? We die.

If they don’t? They get another job. But most severely disabled people can’t get jobs, so we have to spend our lives supporting someone who can so that they can take care of us.

So, we die. We die young. We die fast. We kill ourselves slowly as your servants. Even in the best housing situations available for us, many of us are your unpaid servants.

👉if you are not incredibly, severely, currently dying from your disability, this is for you.👈

Look, if you want to people to survive, if you want to love people, here is the fucking recipe. It’s not forbidden knowledge. It’s not hidden. You just have to fucking live by it.

✨1. From each their ability,

Not more than you are able to do. Not less. Your actual ability.

When you over work yourself, you are wasting energy and doing a shit job that someone else has to fix. This leads to cycle of overworked people fixing overworked peoples mistakes, and that will always fall on disabled people, because we tend to work more efficiently.

But don’t do less than you actually can do. Don’t spend your energy on ineffective solutions when effective ones are available. Don’t treat ANYONE like a servant, to any degree. (Care takers included. They are performing good work, they aren’t your servant. Someone can help you with out being beneath you)

➕Do not do work for works sake. Working hard is not a virtue. Helping people is.➕

✨2. To each their need.

Do the most effective, most important, most sustaining, most life saving work possible first. Triage everything.

BUT, you have to protect the longevity of your work for this to work at all {back to the first maxim, from each their ability. Only as much as you are able to sustain}

The most effective thing you can do is build in layers.

•Improve your household,

•improve your community,

•improve the society,

•improve the ecosystem,

•start over. If you aren’t making progress, move to the next one.

You can do this however you want. But do what’s most effective *considering your place in each, and considering your ability honestly*

➕Do not do work for works sake. Working hard is not a virtue. Helping people is.➕

❤️🧡💛.

•If you want to love people, you have to do it actively.

•You have to try.

•But more than that, you have to do your actual best.

•You can’t act out of hatred, not for yourself, or the oppressor

•you have to help everyone you can, even or perhaps ESSPECIALLY, those who hurt you. But only if you are actually are abled to

•you have to try.

✨✨✨Alright, my hands are hurting like hell so that’s the end of part one. ✨✨✨

🎊I might make a part 2. I Might just keep adding new thoughts to this forever. But you know what? You could could make a part 2. You could keep adding onto this forever.

🎊Or hell, make your own post. Critique me. Call me out. I don’t care. *just do the fucking work, and do it effectively

[nevertheless-moving]

I always have mixed feelings about Jedi!Leia, like, on the one hand, she’d be SO powerful, and that’d be so cool to see. Literally all I wanted as a kid was to see Leia kick some ass w/ the Force, AND SHE COULD. She’s literally the embodiment of protective instincts and justice. But on the other hand, she’d be SO POWERFUL, and Leia is... an angry person. She has every right to be, too, but that kind of thing doesn’t vibe well with ‘partially-trained powerhouse’. But then on the other side of THAT, her NOT using the force feels like denying an important part of who she is and what she could do, and Leia is the sort to do EVERYTHING SHE CAN for those she loves and feels responsible for.

Do you think she’d do the responsible thing (Anakin could never) and more or less give her powers a hard pass, or do you think she’d figure out some way to make them work for her?

There are a lot of ways to channel the force, right? 

Jedi Knights are trained in the most obviously badass methods, with the clearest physical impacts. But the jedi order had other branches (and I realize canon's probably a mess about those so good thing im overwhelmingly informed by fanon).

I think wanting to be a jedi knight is similar to wanting to be a firefighter or cop- it's a job that's description involves saveing people and ALSO comes with the chance to kick down a door. That's appealing, and necessary sometimes. But unfortunately not all problems can be solved by breaking a window dramatically with a chair, and fortunately there are other ways to do good.

So we've got medicorps- force healing and using that understanding of the living force to direct medical research.

Exploracorps- these are the jedi who probably use the force most in the way that untrained forcesensitives do, but on purpose. the successful spacers are the ones who listen to their 'instincts' and 'gut feelings' when 'something' tells them to drop out of hyperspace now or approach that stranger over there. There's an energy field that binds the universe together. People who listen to it when it's loud or follow it when its twisting around something are probably going to be more successful in general, and that edge is going to be most OBVIOUS in high risk professions.

We've got agricorps-  and kriff as someone whose done hands on conservation and farm work isn't that one dreamy. A trained jedi who can just reach their hands into a layer of soil and over the course of a year speed up nitrogen fertilization and healthy root growth and all those other things that might take a hundred years to make a noticeable impact DAMN. I'm not saying it's as cool as being a knight, backflips and laser swords are objectively cooler but it's definitely as HELPFUL if not way more so.

And then educorps and diplocorps right? That last one might be fandom so let's talk educorps- how do you use the force to teach? If i could read a kids mind to understand what they didn't understand sure maybe it would be creepy but it would honestly be more helpful and less fucked up then all the impacts of repeated testing! Do you have any idea how much less stressful your education would have been if you never had to take a test because your teacher just KNEW what you were struggling with and partnered you with another student and overt the course of a conversation it all clicked into place? If you could just clear the bad vibes out of a classroom with a wave of your hand when something scary happened in the community, allowing children in low income areas to critically think and learn without the interference of a prolonged stress response, thus giving them the opportunity to excel in the way their core world peers do? Karking one generation of psychically enhanced education, just doing that alone, could lift a planet out of institutional poverty.

And then diplomacy, politics. I'm not sure if this a cadet branch of the jedi order or LITERALLY their primary role prior to disenfranchisement and conscription. Either way it's leia's chosen profession pre and post original trilogy, and I'm gonna say she could ABSOLUTELY be doing that as a trained jedi.

Well as trained as any jedi can be at that point in the timeline.

There's one really good au out there about crechemaster anakin. And honestly? If you have severe trauma and anger issues, your culture should probs be encouraging you towards pursuing a career that does not include violence. Maybe before their numbers were depleted and conflicts became increasingly violent, the most volatile jedi were encouraged as far from physical ass kicking as possible, not out of exclusion, but because it's only going to make their problems worse, while creating brand new problems for everyone else. The tendency of the culture I live in to encourage people with violent tendencies to become cops and soldiers has CAUSED SOME ISSUES FOR EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE COPS AND SOLDIERS. Look there's no such thing as a rule that's perfect for everyone but as far as healthy outlets for agression go, vulnerable people in high risk situations are really low on the list. 

Yeah so jedi leia would probably be taught how to Not accidently on purpose kill people with her brain by willing their spaceships to crash into asteroids or screwing with their blasters in a firefight so they consistently miss, or all the other ways she unintentionally but gleefully force murdered people in the original trilogy. 

And then she'd be taught to use her skywalker-bullshit-level powers for politics. 

And holy SHIT.

Do you know how many problems are caused by miscommunication? In international security theory, rational actors pretty much ONLY go to war because of unavoidable communication errors. If you could have a trusted neutral party guaranteeing treaties with demonstable magic SO much less military spending would happen. I'm sorry but that is LITERALLY how the vatican became a political powerhouse. As it lost its credibility, so many wars happened. So many.

And that's just one of the big most clear cut things.

Domestic politics? Government reform? Jedi politicians would be INSANE. I - look.

When a policy workgroup is trying to make a change in a democratic society they genuinely try to use mind tricks. Fearmongering is the easiest- imagine if the nra was able to put a little force suggestion behind the idea that criminals were trying to break into your home and murder your family and if you give up your gun then only criminals will have guns. You're already scared- and now there's a supernatural element pushing it along. 

On the other side of the political spectrum, again, the most successful campaigns uh, also involve fear, the left is just less good at structuring the entire argument in those terms (shame is the more common go to). Pushing the fear that anyone could get sick and lose everything, even you. You could get cancer and lose your job and then you wouldn't have insurance so that's why EVERYONE needs government health insurance. Shaming anyone who does racist shit publically was so effective that racist people started getting so quiet that they accidentally raised way less racist children. 

A jedi would be unbelievably  effective with the 'negative' emotion public outreach, but that might be darkside stuff. 'righteous' emotion driven social change does happen sometimes, compassion is at start of most human rights movements.  

Tho not going to lie anger and shame is kindof what keeps those movements going so...

Jedi Politician Leia using vaapad to reshape the galaxy? 

[angelicmichael]

Imminient Annihilation sounds so dope, chapter nine.

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader and Michael finally learn how to communicate and decide to start being mostly civil and learn how to tolerate eachother. 

Words: 5.6k+

Warnings: Mentions of bruises and falling, unhealthy relationships, manipulation, reader and Michael are both pretty mean in the first half of this part LOL, some Millory flirting <3, extreme enemies to lovers, extreme slow burn, reader is going through inner torment like always LOL, lots of cussing, witch! reader

A/N: First of all - i just wanna say I'm so sorry for not updating this in like 5 months LMAO. That's why I decided to make this chapter a bit long 😌. Still no romance but, reader and Michael are finally starting to warm up to eachother so hopefully yall like this chapter :)

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Dull, aching pain was what welcomed you when you woke up. It started off subtle; faint enough to ignore until you started to stir in your bed.. wrong fucking move.

Your entire body was throbbing. Saying that you felt like complete shit was definitely an understatement at this point.. You almost wanted to think perhaps this could be a result of partying last night but then again.. this pain was different. You knew for sure this was not a result of being hungover.

You winced as you pushed back the covers and stood up, wandering over to the closest mirror as you pushed up your shirt - wanting to examine your ribs - where the pain seemed to ache the most. Your skin on the left side of your ribs had turned into a ugly, mixed palette of blues and purples. Turning around only proved that the bruises had traveled to your back as well. You couldn’t help but wince at the sight and let out a painful moan when you traced your fingers across your skin - feeling the bruises. What the fuck happened last night??

You let your shirt fall back down as you stood - puzzled and thinking about the previous nights events.. and.. oh fuck..

You swallowed as you conjured up the memories from last night in your mind; you remembered Mallory.. going to the party.. drinking.. Michael.. going back to his apartment.. talking.. falling.. and then nothing.

What the fuck happened?!

You roughly swallowed, your eyebrows furrowed together as you turned around looked at your surroundings - something you should’ve done sooner. You felt a wave of Deja vu wash over you; as well as a wave of fear. Being in a room with no recollection of how you got there was hauntingly familiar. Too familiar for your liking. However, you knew you were you.. looking again in the mirror reassured you of that but.. that didn’t solve the issue of how you got from Michaels penthouse to.. wherever you were now.

You stared at the room; puzzled. You were trying to put your finger on why the room looked so familiar; and then it clicked. The hotel room you were currently in wasn’t a penthouse but it still looked similar and resembled Michaels hotel room that you were in last night. Which could only mean you were staying in the same hotel.

Your heart stopped when you came to the realization that Michael must've got you this hotel room. That's the only way any of this made sense. You wanted to think for a split second it could’ve been Mallory who came to your rescue but, that didn’t make sense because you knew she wouldn’t have left you alone in the morning. It had to be Michael.

The gesture almost would’ve been cute under normal circumstances.

The room looked practically untouched besides the bed you had just climbed out of. Your phone resided on the night stand, and as you quickly went through your phone - nothing seemed tampered with. Thank god.

Although, there was a message from someone in particular that you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at. Of course he messaged you. You quickly opened up the message fully, reading through it rather quickly.

‘How are you feeling?'

You bit your lip as you crafted up a soulless response. At least he had enough of a heart to check in on you. I mean it was the very least he owed you at this point.

‘Oh I’m doing just peachy keen. How the fuck do you think I’m doing with bruises everywhere?? Did I get a concussion last night?’

You sent the message without thinking twice. You felt your face getting hot and your heart beating faster. You grinded your teeth; the fact you could feel yourself getting angry and agitated so early in the morning was beyond aggravating.

You paced around the hotel room, phone still in hand. You compulsively checked your phone nearly every second as you paced until you finally saw the notification you were waiting for.

'if we're going to keep talking about last night then it needs to be done in person. How about meeting me at the café across the street, asap. And bring Mallory. I'm not interested in talking to you alone.'

“Motherfucker," you muttered with a quick roll of your eyes.

Of course Michael wanted to meet immediately; it was foolish to expect anything less of him at this point, honestly. Luckily getting ready would be a rather quick ordeal since the only belongings you had were on you. You quickly paced to the mirror and attempted to make yourself look presentable before grabbing your phone and hastily running out the door before dialing Mallory's number.

//

Thankfully getting Mallory to agree to witness whatever torture Michael had planned for you wasnt hard; Although the pair of you were still confused on why Mallory's presence was required in the first place. But atleast you knew Michael was feeling better if he was still acting in character, being unpredictable as ever.

The café wasn’t hard to find; and neither was Michael. He sat at a small wooden table that was meant for four. A dim light hung from the ceiling above the table.

You grew increasingly more nervous as you approached the table. What could Michael even want to say to you that was so important that it had to be said in person? With Mallory?

A pit resided in your stomach - a feeling that something bad was about to happen stayed present within you even as you and Mallory sat down next to eachother. You offered to sit directly across from Michael, so that you could spare Mallory from having to deal with his crippling stare - but of fucking course, Michael chimed in and demanded that Mallory sat directly across from him.. and Mallory being the way she is obliged naturally. It made the pit in your stomach only grow.

You only wanted to cut all of the bullshit that you knew Michael was about to pull; you just wanted to talk to Michael and have a normal fucking conversation for once. Separation at this point seemed to give you a ridiculous amount of unwanted torment; emotionally, physically, and this point possibly even spiritually. You knew you were meant to be around him - there was no point in fighting the connection you two had. So.. that was why you felt justified in your choice of atleast attempting to have this conversation with Michael, and to make the effort that he barely had the balls to do.

"Hey, It's nice to see that the both of you bothered to show up," Michael sneered.

"Of course we did, Michael. I actually try to stay true to my word - it's not like you can say the same," you stated without missing a beat while maintaining direct eye contact.

You were aware that you probably sounded harsh to any eavesdroppers listening, but you remained unapologetic. You didn’t offer a smile with your words; and you tried your best to remain stoic. A quick glance to your right told you that Mallory was trying her best to avoid Michael's gaze still, most likely uncomfortable at you and Michael's vicious banter.

"Someone seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed,” Michael said with a dark chuckle.

“Ha. Funny," You spit out. Glaring daggers at him as you spoke, “As if you slept well either."

"I didn’t actually; but maybe you would've known that if you've been so kind to ask," Michael bit back. 

You gave Michael a long, scorching glare - silently cueing him to shut the fuck up and to consider someone else's feelings for once.. but, you dont really know if he was capable of doing that after all.. but it worked.

You felt bad for Mallory; who was awkwardly staring at her hands and fiddling with her thumbs. You could practically feel how uncomfortable this conversation was making her, and not to mention it was painfully obvious.

You weren't surprised in the slightest that Michael seemed to pick up on her sudden dispirited aura, as well.  His light blue eyes quickly traveled from you to Mallory; and it was absolutely revolting to see how fast he could go from having a expression of pure exasperation to.. fondness and concern when he looked at Mallory. It almost reminded you of his reaction to finding Madison after you completely kicked her ass but.. the way he looked at Mallory was different. It was more delicate. It would've been cute if.. you weren't in the current, complicated situation you found yourself in.

"Mallory.." he spoke her name with such softness your surprised she didn't melt right then and there.

They finally met each others gaze; and Mallory met him with a smile which Michael only mirrored.

"Are you okay?" he affirmed.

Mallory nodded, the smile quickly vanishing from her lips as she looked over to you, and then back at Michael.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just happy you two survived last night."

This comment made all three of you smile, but yours was definitely fake. You were grateful that the weird, heavy tension that was between you and Michael had been temporarily lifted though. Maybe having Mallory around to mediate all of yours and Michael's conversations wasnt a bad idea.

"I-"

"Me too. I dont know if (Y/n) told you but, the reason why im bothering to meet with you two today is to figure out what happened last night. Due to (Y/n)'s track record, I'd rather hear things from your perspective.. if you dont mind, Mallory," Michael said.

Essentially cutting you off and once again from speaking directly to Mallory.

Michaels eyes, which normally looked soulless and held a degree of ruthlessness in them (in your opinion) had lost a bit of their edge and fury when he looked at Mallory.. but she didn't seem to take notice how interested he suddenly was in her. Right now, she just seemed flustered and put under the spotlight. Her cheeks were spotted a uneven red color from the unwarranted direct attention Michael was giving her, and it was obvious that she was nervous. Her black, painted nails were tugging mindlessly and restlessly at the thin, decorative gloves she was wearing. A typical nervous habit you noticed she displayed.

Your gaze stayed focused on Mallory but you could feel Michael's hot, glaring stare on you. It was only for a split second after he was done talking - but after that second, he was right back to Mallory. Mallory. His seemingly new, favorite infatuation.

It wasnt jealousy that made you question why Michael was suddenly being so nice to her. It was the fact that you knew Michael truly was a scheming asshole at heart. At this point you were guessing he was only being so nice to her because he needed a favor done.. the mere thought made you bit your lip to suppress a eye roll.

"I-I can try but I wasnt there for the entire night-" Mallory stammered.

She looked at you for support but all you could offer was another meaningless smile in return.

"That's fine. Whatever you remember will do," Michael pressed.

Mallory gave her gloves (which she was still fussing with) a quick glance and then continued; looking at Michael while she spoke.

"Well, it was nothing really remarkable. I'm sure (Y/n) could tell you more than I can but, I saw you get drunk. Incredibly drunk and then.. well that's it. I went back to Robichaux's after that."

Her words left you astonished. How was that all she had to say?? Where was the part where she came back for you? Wasn't she the one who put you into the bed in the hotel room you woke up in, this morning? You knew it was most likely Michael who put you in the hotel last night but, a small part of you was still hoping it could've been Mallory.

"Wait.. what? But that's not everything, it cant be.. I-" The farther your words progressively came out of your mouth the longer your sentence ran.. or as long as Michael allowed too before once again interrupting.

"Mallory.. I think me and (y/n) will be good talking about things one on one from here. As much as I've enjoyed your company; I can only tolerate so many witches and.. according to nature; sadly it has to be this one," Michael flickered his eyes toward you, obviously referencing you in the latter part of his sentence.

Profanities that started with every letter of the alphabet ran through your head at his attempt of trying to be sweet. He extended his hand out to squeeze Mallory's - and after she said her goodbyes, she was quickly gone. Out of the venue.

Looked like it was just you and your favorite villain again.

As much as you loved Mallory and cherished the friendship you two had - you were kind of glad she was gone. The fact you could admit that to yourself with confidence shocked you but.. you felt as if you had to act like a nicer, polished version of yourself that just wasnt truly you around her. As much as your hatred for Michael still ran deep, you were free to act authentic around him - and atleast now you were completely free to call him out on whatever bullshit he just tried to pull off.. and that realization that you now had no bounds was.. completely freeing.

"So, what the fuck was that?"

"What?" Michael asked.

His voice was raised in a defensive, annoyed manner.

"How you were treating Mallory.. what do you want from her?"

You studied the man sitting across from you at the table, and you smugly noticed how even he seemed to be more relaxed now that Mallory was gone.. He was slightly bent over the table now with his elbows resting on the surface, but after your question - he brought one of his ring adorned hands up to his mouth, a poor attempt to stifle a laugh.

"So you noticed," He commented.

You watched as he dropped his hand from his mouth back down to the table in one swift movement.

"It was hard not too," You said.

The predator like focus was lively in his eyes again as he studied you. He was moving a bit in the chair he was sitting in - fully shifting and angling his body towards you. You knew you had his full, undivided attention now.. but this time you planned on taking full advantage of it.

"But.. just please leave her out of it, Michael. I'm serious. Mallory has enough on her plate already, she doesn't need... to be involved," you added.

You struggled to find the proper word to use for last part of your sentence. Labeling whatever this situation was still felt incredibly odd and- just really added to your point that Mallory didn't need to be involved or kept in the loop about things anymore.. It was obvious that Michael was starting to finally warm up to you and.. it seemed he was almost starting to trust you too. Almost.

Michael solely smirked at your words and gave a brief hum as a placeholder for a laugh, like your words weren't worthy of being praised or encouraged by something as gracious as a full on laugh.

"Oh, Dont worry (y/n). I wasnt planning on involving her. It was satisfying enough just to see someone with so much power and potential reduced to a blushing mess.. but - I'm done talking about your dear friend Mallory."

You dont realize that you've slowly stopped breathing until you feel the slow but urgent feeling of gradual suffocation constrict your lungs.. Was it possible he was alluding to you, and maybe not Mallory at all in his last sentence?

Was it really stupid at this point to consider that maybe him flirting and being so stupidly nice with Mallory was just another manipulation tactic.. to see how you'd react? Maybe.

"I only.. wanted to thank you for what you did," Michael stated - finally getting to the point.

Your stomach flipped. The emotions you were feeling before were already laced with confusion and uncertainty but - pining how you felt now never seemed more impossible.

"What I.. did?"

You looked at Michael's body language for answers while he verbally stalled. Both of his elbows were now resting on the table, both hands clasped together as his cheek rested on them. He looked soft.. vulnerable too, but it still didn't compare to how he looked when he gazed at Mallory earlier.. or even Madison. The way he looked at you was completely and utterly different. It was the way that his eyes darkened whenever you two happened to make prolonged eye contact. You thought maybe his pupils could just be dilated but then again, Michael was nothing like normal.. Or that's what you tried to  tell yourself anyway. It was creepy to say the least, and deeply unsettling. Even when his eyes nearly changed to black; the rest of his face still upheld a sad, genuine, softness. You still weren't scared of him.

"Yes. What you did.. last night. You didn't have to do what you did but, I just wanted to tha-"

"Wait, you remember?" your words come out; rushed and sonorous. Striking like thunder.

Just the mere thought that Michael could've possibly remembered last nights events had your heart beating wildly in your chest. You felt the nausea in your stomach for a split second until you felt it start to spark up into your throat - you were only seconds away from getting sick. How fucking embarrassing was it that he remembered everything.. was he even truly drunk, at all?

The sudden, rash embarrassment that you felt must've been apparent to Michael because.. he looked concerned for you. His eyebrows were slightly creased and the light blue in his irises were darkened and swarmed with emotion.

You started to move to get up; at this point you weren't concerned with finding a bathroom necessarily - you just needed a fucking break. Michael's company was intoxicating; exactly like a drug.. no matter how much you truly hated him and wanted nothing more than to see him put in his place; he still managed to pull you in effortlessly. The type of territory you were headed into with Michael with purely dangerous.  You remember Cordelia warning you not to get attached; and you certainly weren't so far.. so far.

The affect Michael had on women (and men, and really all types of people) was blatantly obvious. He drew people in so fucking easily, he was basically a magnet. He was beautiful, charismatic, had money, and was goal driven (even though his goals were horrific, like ending the world) - he met all the qualifications and standards most people had for a boyfriend. Including your own.

You couldn't decide whether it was painfully ironic or tragic that someone that seemed.. almost built for romance was really made for destruction. Destined for it even. But you knew that if Michael wanted too, it wouldn't be too hard to just.. make you fall for him. You suppose when it came down to it, that's why his prescense was so overwhelmingly suffocating.

It wasnt Michael that you were truly infuriated at; it was what this whole situation stood for. Sure, your life pre-switching wasnt the best but.. you missed the normalcy and the routine. The lack of chaos was something you dreamed about. Now, you were beyond fucked - going from having basically no powers to being stronger than Mallory herself, as well as being destined to help set up your soulmates death was far too much to handle. But.. at the same time it wasnt, because everyone in the coven made sacrifices and you know that if any of them were put in your situation they would do it without a doubt or complaint - so why were you hesitating?

There was no denying that when you were away from him you craved and hungered for his attention, his precense.. and it was the realization that you didn't really care how you got his attention that made you try to finally stand up and leave. For the second time.

Michael put his hand on your forearm, an inch right below your wrist. His touch was soft but firm -  you reflexively tried to pull your arm back but he continued to keep you under his grasp.

"Dont go. I'm not going to beg but.. I just; need you to understand-" Michael's voice started to break.

"Need me to understand, what, Michael? What is it this time? I need to know that your being honest, you cant keep.. treating me the way you have," the words you were forced to chose made you squirm and bite your tongue.

You wanted to call him out on his pathetic lying but you chose a safer route instead. One that wouldn't burn his ego so bad. Being forced to tell a sort of.. half truth was annoying. It felt like he was in control again, over you, over your emotions.. and he was. He had total control over you, and it seemed as if he barely put in any effort trying to do so. Although, it was obvious he was trying to shy away and deny this whole.. weird arranged marriage as much as you had; but he was finally succumbing to the urge.. and so were you.

"I never lied. Every time I've seen you, I've never said anything that wasnt true.. but, I haven't exactly let you in - either," Michael's hands separated and dropped low to the table, his hands nervously fiddling with his rings. "I'm sure that your already well acquainted with my past or that you have pre-conceived notions about me but.. nothing in my life has been easy.. and that includes switching with you. I dont easily trust anything, or anyone so seeing how you acted last night.. made me realize that I want.. to try to make this work."

Flames of embarrassment licking up your body, first from your chest until the feeling infested up to your cheeks is how you first reacted to his words. Then it was shock that quickly numbed the feeling, like a acute natural anesthetic.. if only the feeling were stronger and could actually make you unconscious for whatever the fuck was occurring now. You licked your lips, completely uncertain of what you wanted to say but you started talking anyway.. letting the words find you as you went.

"I dont want to argue either, Michael. I never did to begin with.. and as much as I dont want too, I forgive you.. and hopefully you can forgive me too - along with Madison.. I'm sorry. I really, truly am and I hope you remember that from last night," as much you tried to sound confident in your words as you spoke, your voice unwillingly stumbled and wavered as your sentence drew on.

Your words came out quickly and unwillingly before you could even truly think them through logically.. Were you really apologizing to Michael, out of all people? The one person who had done so much fucking damage to you, and yet here you were - pathetically begging for his forgiveness. It was past heart-rending at this point; the feeling and realization of how much you yearned for Michael was hurting you, in every way imaginable. You had to remind yourself to not unconsciously hold your breath as you stared at him, but you only found kind - blue eyes staring back.

His lips slightly upturned at the corners, in a odd close mouthed smile. He made direct eye contact with you; Which at first you sheepishly tried to avoid but.. as much as you tried to avoid his eye contact, you surrendered and ultimately gave into it. After all; his eyes were fucking marvelous to look at -  and what were you really trying to avoid anymore, after all?

"I remember every word you said (y/n), and I dont take what you said lightly.. I know you were telling the truth and that it wasnt easy to say.." His words drifted off almost unwillingly as he ultimately drew silent.

You watched as he hastily licked his lips nervously; and your stomach did another flip.

"But; if you were open to this.. I honestly want to get to know you and to try.. to atleast be civil. But you have to understand that.. I need your full transparency. I have to know that this is something your truly wanting to commit to because, i-"

Michael shifted and twitched in his chair, and wore a expression as if he was.. insecure.

Even though all you had heard about Michael in the past was complete rumors and you really had no solid grasp on what had happened in his past.. you felt an odd, wave of memories pass over you - but you were well aware that they didn't belong to you. These memories were accompanied by odd, foreign feelings. Ones that were stuck with you for only a split second but left you nearly in fucking tears. What the fuck was that? You met his gaze again, and it's like he fucking knew that you knew how he was planning to finish his incomplete sentence.

You bit your cheek to suppress the overflow of emotions you had just felt, and it was working for the time being but.. you figured that was just another distraction. Something else you to had to suppress and fight.

You first sat idle, your mouth incredibly dry and your throat painfully aching. Screaming for you to stop halting and just to fucking speak. You then realized that Michael didn't stop because he thought you were going to speak.. he purposefully cut himself off. There was something he was avoiding here but.. still expected you to know. Since Michael apparently was so focused on your apparent 'relationship' you figured it wouldn't hurt to start putting effort in and take initiative.. right?

"You dont have to say anything more, Michael. I get with.. what you've had to endure in your past on why you would be so guarded, even counting what I've done to you," you take a deep breath in "and, I dont know exactly how committed you want me to be but I know that at the very least that.. I'd like to get to know you too."

This was as far as flirty that you'd decide to be for the night. Even though Michael's guard was apparently as far gone as your current sanity; you decided that there was no way that you were going to be so carefree when it came to handing over your peace to him.

The time whilst you waited for Michael to react seemed to stretch impossibly long. The minutes feeled like long agonizing hours; your heart beating impossibly fast in tandem with every agonizing second that slipped away.. until he spoke, naturally.

"Are you sure you know what you're agreeing too?"

You didn't shy away from his gaze this time.

"The same could go for you," you challenged.

A sinister giggle escaped your lips, but Michael didn't back down. His blue eyes looked into yours in a way that spoke more words than he ever was capable of producing out loud. It proved that even now when he was attempting to be soft and civil with you, he was still trying to assert dominance. Fuck that.

"I think I'm more than capable of taking you on, (y/n)."

You scoffed.

"Okay, so.. what does this all mean? Like, what does this mean for us, Michael?" the words you spoke burned hot on your tongue with regret as soon as you said them.

"It doesn't mean anything except that I just.. would appreciate if I could see you.. regularly from now on."

His eyes held contact with yours.. It relaxed you a bit to notice how he looked as if he was holding his breath too. So, you weren't the only one that was nervous, right?

You breath haltered; he was still ignoring your question. What were you two? You knew that Michael's intentions with you were crystal clear - for the time being he seemed strict on his 'friends only' rule which.. of course couldn't really happen if Cordelia was expecting you to still carry out the plan that she had intended.. which she did. Certainly she did.

"Yeah well.. Cordelia-" your words fell flat and naturally died off on their own.

You had no idea why you even bothered to mention her name. You knew what you had to inevitably tell him eventually about Cordelia; but you knew now wasnt the time. It was too soon, you needed to wait until Michael got more comfterable with you before you exposed the coven.. and that's if you chose to do that.

"Look, I'm not stupid. It's obvious how strong your powers are.. and your still scared of Cordelia?" Michael looked at you now as if you were saying a joke.

A insult burned at the back of your throat. You tried your best to contain the fire you could feel, coercing you to open your mouth and to act on your immediate feelings rather than on logic.. but, to respect Michael and how vulnerable he had previously been with you - you held your tongue.

"Its not that I'm scared of Cordelia. I respect her and theres a difference. You have to understand where I stand between you and Cordelia, as well as the coven."

"You have no business being stuck in the middle though - which is why.. I have a solution," the left corner of Michael's lips upturned slightly.

Unconsciously you leaned forward in your chair.. a solution? You flinched as you saw Michael turn and pull something out of his jacket pocket; and suddenly threw it at you. A flash of silver caught the light as it passed through the air. It didn't take long for you to realize that he threw you a pair of keys. What?

"W-what is this?" Your voice shook as it raised to an higher octave.

"It's keys to an apartment. This will make things easier; in terms of us having access to eachother and it'll wean you off of having the covens support."

Your lips slowly turned into a frown, and your fingers nervously played with the keys as you put off having to look Michael in the eye.. it was clear to you now that even though Michael had been pretty open with you.. Michael was clearly misconstrued about your.. exact situation and with where you sat with the coven. He had no idea how involved you were, you could only guess.

However; your loyalty with the coven really had nothing to do with the fact you couldn't accept Michael giving you an entire fucking apartment.. There was no way you were going to let him hold this over your head, no fucking way.

You held the keys up and looked at them in a unsure manner before flinging them on the table in Michael's general direction. Ignoring the many dirty looks you got when the keys clashed loudly against the table.

"Even though I appreciate the gesture, theres no way I can accept that, Michael and you should know that."

"Your being stupid, I basically have all the money in the world at my disposable - at the tip of my fingers.. Take the apartment," the last three words sounded as if they were meant to be a threat.

His pronunciation on each last word was stern and final.

"I can't just move wherever you want me too; you realize I'm still a member of the coven, right? And if I just leave- it's going to look suspicious."

"Do you want to leave?"

Your breath came out as shaky when you exhaled. Now that was a good fucking question.

"I.. I mean maybe. Its been hard to live there to say the least recently and it would be nice to get away but I just.. I dont know if this is a good idea," your voice shook as you spoke.

This was the most candid you probably had ever been with Michael. Even when you were intoxicated, you made certain that every word that came out of your mouth around him was carefully planned and strategic.. but, just speaking and telling him what you were thinking right off the bat was a bit nerve wracking to say the least.

Your nails nervously dug into the skin of your palm as you waited for his reaction.

"What's holding you back?" You heard his voice ring out.

Your gaze fell down from his eyes back onto the silver keys that lied on the table. You couldn't help but to think - would it really be that bad just to take the apartment? If worse comes to worse you could always just move back to Robichaux's.. right? After all, it's not like Cordelia wouldn't approve - it was her idea for you to fucking seduce the dude in the first place. And Mallory would surely be understanding, if anything she would probably be excited. Fuck it.

"Yeah no, your right.. I'll do it."

You snatched the keys back from the table in an act of defiance - even though it really wasnt because once again, you were giving Michael what he wanted. Motherfucker.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring

let me know if you would like to be added :)

[meear]

it’s me, bitching about Bertholdt again

“there is no time for Bertholdt it’s the end of the world” no fuck that noise, there was time. one could MAYBE accept that excuse to explain the way everyone ignored Porco and Colt after they died (and I still think it’s an awful dumbass choice because there was nothing preventing Isayama to explore it for a little bit anyway. if there is room for Marco, there is room for that, he just needs to write it in. it’s not like anyone would’ve called it unrealistic if Pieck had mentioned Porco once or if Falco had mourned his brother for more than one panel). 

But Bertholdt died in chapter 84. this is bullshit. 

Isayama had 50+ chapters to give us a satisfying closure. Erwin and Bertholdt died at the EXACT same time and yet he made sure to make room for Erwin. it’s just a really bad excuse. there was time in Marley, before the Liberio attack. There was the time when Armin blew up the port as the Colossal. there was the time when the alliance joined Reiner, or when Reiner and Annie saw each other again. there was that time in the forest when they were talking about Marco, or when Yelena mentioned Bertholdt and there wasn’t even a shot of Reiner’s face(wtf). there was the time when Armin got shot and he was literally healing in front of Reiner. opportunities were clearly there, Isayama just didn’t take them.

now that there are two chapters left, yeah NOW there is no time no shit. even if isayama was somehow saving Bertholdt to give him a moment at the very end, it doesn’t erase the fact that Reiner and Annie (who are just people inside the story) basically forgot about him until this point. it doesn’t explain the weird way they treated bertholdt’s death. 

It’s still bad writing even if the last two chapters were somehow about Bertholdt and Bertholdt only (lmao) because not only the journey to get there is absolutely ridiculous, to have ONE big scene to solve everything is unsatisfying. to cram the whole conflict in a few pages, even if it’s solved in the end, that’s unsatisfying.

I’m not explaining myself very well but I think the way Porco/Reiner was handled is a good example.

the first time we meet Porco, he is established as having a grudge against Reiner because of what happened to Marcel. the flashbacks tell us that they also had a rivalry over the armored titan before that. in this conflict, though Reiner used to fight back, he grew up to be more passive and accept Porco’s hostility because of his own guilt. 

so how does this get solved? do we just take a few pages the next chapter to let Reiner tell the truth to Porco, Porco forgives everything and then they never mention it again? no because that’s boring and it would ruin their whole dynamic

the next time we see Porco, Reiner interrupts him before he says something incriminating when marleyan officers are listening in, which Porco notices 

the next time Porco and Reiner’s relationship is showcased, Colt worries about Falco becoming a titan, which make Porco say that “the conditions for becoming a titan are quite vague”, a throwback to his own conflict with Reiner, and the grice brothers parallel the galliards. we can see Porco is a bit upset after this conversation.

after that, Reiner saves Porco’s life, and him waking up from a nightmare is a direct reference to their 1st scene together, except this time Porco is facing Reiner and he offers him something to drink. 

at the very end, they fight together and after seeing Marcel’s memories, Porco gets eaten to save Reiner and someone else’s little brother which is a very nice conclusion to his character arc, using the themes of sacrifice and protection that surrounded their whole relationship. Galliard even does it again when he returns from the dead. good writing Porco 10/10

basically their conflict was given time to breathe and change, and it made chapter 119 that much more rewarding. it’s thanks to all those little scenes scattered through the whole arc. Kaya and Gabi were also done pretty well

... now let’s compare that to Jean and Reiner’s resolution over Marco. I don’t mean to say it was bad btw, because I don’t think it was at all and I enjoyed it. It’s actually one of the chapters I read most often. but the method was very different : this time it was more “one big conversation to solve everything”, when it’s way more satisfying to see a relationship evolving over the course of several chapters instead of having one chapter where they work everything out, move on to something else and never address it again because “they already did that”... like that’s not how human beings function??? we had Jean beat Reiner up, violently wake him up and tell him he’ll never forgive him, 10 chapters later we see Jean still cares a lot for him, but there was nothing in between?? it’s not that I think it’s impossible but why can’t we focus on the journey a little more?? 

Which is why I think it’s too late for Bertholdt to be properly addressed no matter what Isayama does, for the mere reason that there are only 2 chapters left so it’s impossible to have a fulfulling build up. Not when Reiner missed literally every key moment to remember his existence. at best Bertholdt will get the Marco treatment. which was more than fine for Marco. not Bertholdt. im not done complaining about this

[gryphsdeadbones]

homophobia/biphobia kinda mentioned?

One of my friends was like, watching Freemind and said, deadass, 'so... is he like, repressing gay thoughts? Like, is he bi or something? He gives of a bi mood to me I have no idea why.' And someone else pointed this out too but like... Freemind is a bi in denial. So now all I'm thinking is Freemind saying no homo about a lot of things, mostly out of fear people will think of him as gay(lets be honest this mans was in 2007, fear of seeming or looking gay was huge then.) and Feetman getting mildly infuriated about it.

Freemind genuinely feels that way about someone, like, 'damn too bad this guys dead, he had some muscle...'

Then he'll realize the other two are behind him and just cough and go, 'what?? No homo jeez'

He has internalized homophobia/biphobia, and yeah.

Might make Freeman sad because he remembers when HE went through that.

HE REALLY DOES now that im rewatching fm. he’s afraid of something trivial like earrings ?? out of all things, afraid wearing it would make him look gay

“like a sailor” 

then in the same fuckin episode or so he like? he says he wants to be a pirate. “but that counts as sailor too”

for all we know it could mean nothing at all and just grasping at straws, but it is there. It’s like? A sort of direct parallel or so. He sounds repressed as hell with internalized homo/biphobia

and the beautiful thing about aus and stuff is we can kinda do whatever we want, so freemind can be as gay as much as we want. i dont know what ross scotts reasoning for the r slur stuff was, and i dont really care to know; all i vaguely know he’s sorta chill with like. freemind characterizations i guess?? so like either way [does a cool remix on gordon freemind]

that era was just such a bad, bad time. i know it was for me before i discovered my identity. And society / the internet itself was much much more of a cesspool back then, not many had the common sense and etiquette ppl have nowadays.

freemind does have the capacity to grow and change if he were allowed to.

in-universe, feetman would probably be? less harsh? but still firm in letting freemind know when he’s acting up and doing unacceptable outdated behavior. theyre grown ass adults with fucked up problems, but they know how to solve problems. finding solutions is kind of their thing, as scientists.

communication issues could be a thing, but since they all the same person at their core, they’re even More aware. Who better to call you out on your bullshit if not from an outside party who is also kind of yourself?

its just. so important to grow up in the sense of admitting your mistakes, and forgiving yourself of the dumb shit youve done in the past, and constantly strive to be better than the previous hell you’ve been through, and to just think.

...I got carried away but yes, Gordon Freeman (all 3 of them) very much reads as bisexual with a lot of fuckin issues. I can see him very much struggling with romance, but regardless, he’d treat his partner RIGHT and like. really grow together with whichever character you see he ends up with.

[blookmallow]

hi uhh this video about Anxiety Is Good Actually keeps being on my dash and its making me mad so this is me breaking it down 

if this kind of thinking helps you im not trying to destroy your coping methods but it just feels so far removed from what the actual experience of anxiety is 

i understand the value in trying to redirect negative self-thoughts into positive ones ( “i worry about people all the time” --> “i care deeply about people i love”) but there’s ways to do that without just, denying there’s anything wrong?? this just feels like the. whole issue with romanticizing mental illness/not moving toward positive recovery because I Dont Need To Change Myself when its actively harming you (not to mention “anxiety is good and helpful” is uh, not a great thing to say to someone with anxiety, bc then you get more anxiety spirals of ‘wait if this is how anxiety is for other people then whats wrong with me, i must be doing something wrong. i shouldnt need help and be having breakdowns bc apparently its easy and even beneficial to other people’ i dont need to be anxious about how im doing anxiety wrong lmfao) 

- where is this “anxiety means you’re intelligent” claim coming from. says Who. hyperanalyzing and overthinking constantly doesn’t make you Smarter, anxiety brain isn’t “im carefully and logically considering all the possibilities” it’s your brain trapping itself in a hell spiral of “what if what if what if” to the point where it becomes increasingly difficult to come to any conclusion at all. it’s not “considering all possible outcomes rationally” it’s “im spending 30 minutes worrying about the least likely thing to happen in a way that is not constructive and i need to recognize that and get myself back on track with whats actually relevant” 

my critical thinking is actively impaired by my anxiety. i sometimes have to go take a nap for 3 hours to reset my brain before i can even approach a problem because my brain is just going “no no no no no too big too scary i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant” too loudly for me to even consider any options at all. “anxiety can make you better at decision making!” is the biggest fucking bullshit claim i have ever seen. anxiety PREVENTS me from decision making. it makes decision making a huge ridiculous ordeal when it really doesn’t need to be. i have to go through a whole process of quieting my anxiety down and working around it in order to do anything at all. its like if you had an alarm system for your house but it went off just constantly all the time for no reason and you have to keep getting up to turn it off. eventually you’re going to have a hard time being able to identify when it’s actually going off because someone’s breaking into your house and when it’s just Doing That Thing Again and you keep losing track of what you were doing because you keep getting interrupted by having to turn that stupid alarm off again

anxiety isn’t “constantly looking for how to solve things” its “constantly thinking of new problems that could exist” in a way that is not beneficial. ill be sitting here feeling sick and completely disoriented for an hour because What If The Customer Service Guy On The Phone Thought I Was Stupid. Maybe I Am Stupid. Maybe I Was Accidentally Rude In Some Way I Never Considered And He’s Going “Wow What A Stupid Rude Bitch That Was” for literally no reason. sure that also means “i have empathy for other people and i want to be polite and not make someone else’s life difficult” but im mostly just thinking about How Stupid I Am, You Stupid Fucking Idiot which is not helpful

like if i recognize “this is my anxiety talking” and just. silenzio bruno. ignore that, put that away, move on, focus. that’s a much more healthy way to cope than indulging it on another spiral of “how is this Actually My Little Anxiety Buddy Trying To Help Me” trying to find some meaning and purpose in it isn’t going to help. anxiety is irrational. that’s what it Is. it’s okay and actually healthy to realize that. my best coping skill is to just say “okay, that was a brain glitch. that wasn’t my fault. im not stupid, my brain just has bad wiring. ignore that. keep going” 

- “we can think of it as our anxiety giving us an extra energy boost to get things done” fucking WHAT?? i cant get anything done because of my anxiety. i will bury myself in 19 blankets and stare at tumblr for 5 hours because my brain Won’t Start and i feel sick and worried and shaky for literally no reason instead of like, getting up and cleaning my room. and then i spend another hour thinking about how useless i am for not cleaning my room. i can only get things done at all bc i have medication that makes my anxiety quieter 

- they have this cute little image of “anxiety” telling you to tell the store person you need more time to decide as if it’s there shouting solutions and advice when really it’s more like “GO GO GO GO YOU HAVE TO ANSWER NOW YOU’RE TAKING TOO LONG YOU’RE HOLDING UP THE LINE YOU’RE BEING THAT GUY HURRY HURRY HURRY HURRY IF YOU DON’T DECIDE SOMETHING IN 3 SECONDS EVERYONE IN THE STORE WILL HATE YOU AND YOU WILL DIE” its not constructive, it’s not a helpful little advice friend, it’s just random loud static you have to work around constantly. of course it’s okay to need a second to process because of your anxiety but that’s not what anxiety Does. i cant ask for a second to process because my anxiety is so loud i cant think and it has convinced me if i dont act normal Right The Fuck Now everyone will hate me forever. i guess a more effective illustration would be like, the Anxiety entity going “AAAAAAA” and instead of you thinking “im stupid and terrible because i cant control that thing” you go “hang on a second, i need a minute” and you step away to calm it down. instead of. the anxiety just offering you a solution. for itself. i dont understand this video 

like. what the fuck are you talking about. “you can do it!! you got this!” is literally the exact fucking polar opposite of what anxiety brain is like

[wxsuthorn]

a sort of organised analysis of The Gifted characters:

pt 2: Wave

(this analysis includes episodes 1-13 of season one and 1-7 of season two, so it probably isn’t completely accurate, but i tried my best. also please excuse my shitty grammar and spelling if I noticed it i would’ve fixed it lmao)

Characteristics and qualities in the beginning of season 1

I’m writing this while listening to love score on loop lmao so if smth I write makes no sense I blame it on nanon’s high note. RAK TER DAI REBLAOW. okay so in episode one Wave just seems like that classic draco malfoy mean dude with his whole wIpE mY fReAkInG fOoT bullshit. But wait... what’s this??? an egotistical personality that comes from past trauma??? yep, lmao. But we’ll talk more about that in the next section.

Throughout the show, Wave displays his ego very clearly, but he also show’s his intelligence. I don’t think i need to explain but in case you need examples: first discovered his potential and revealed it, solved the problem from the academic competition punn was in, almost beat all of the gifted squad when he had the plan to “leak” the gifted program info (he could’ve done it if pang didn’t use his potential, which wave didn’t know the details of, unlike the rest of his classmates), did a research project in eighth grade that was plagiarized to be used as a MASTERS(?) DEGREE THESIS. Bitch is smart as fuck, on contrary to Pang, who also has an inflated ego. (I will discuss how their egos are different in the next part). His intelligence isn’t only academic, but he’s also street smart, and he knows how to provoke people (like when he came back at ohm’s joke + when he provokes punn)

Wave doesn’t really show a lot of depth in the beginning, but to sum it up: ego, smart, kinda cocky and wants to be the best, doesn’t seem to trust anyone, very straight forward/has a level of confidence, cool/mysterious so I don’t really mind him being mean cuz im interested in his back story.

okay lets move one to where wave has a backstory and development.

Characteristics and qualities from episode 9 - 12 of season 1

Wave... was mentally/emotionally groomed when he was in eighth grade and had his work plagiarized. Yeah. On top of that, he’s an orphan with grandparents/guardians who don’t provide him enough emotional support for him to develop properly as an adolescent. These traumatic experiences affected him in so many ways.

In the flashbacks, we see Wave being shy, introverted, and he lacks the confidence he has in the present. His eighth grade self lacks self confidence, since a majority of the adults in his life have told him that he was dumb/he wasn’t good enough. On top of that, he has no emotional support (adults or peers) to seek help from and was probably very lonely for a long time. Well, if Wave is in M4 (aged 15-16) in season 1, and he was in lower secondary school in the flashbacks (probably M3, aged 14-15), which means that his personality changed/developed pretty quickly. What triggered this change you ask? MS. NARA. THE BITCH AND ONLY. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT WHO I HATE AND WANT TO DROP KICK.

Let’s talk about Ms. Nara, shall we? To say the least, she mentally/emotionally groomed Wave into trusting her, and even having a crush on her. She encouraged him to do work that she would eventually plagiarize for her masters degree thesis. That’s the shit she did. Fucking bitch I hate her. And Wave trusted her really easily because again, he significantly lacked emotional support, so once he received it, he was very welcoming of it. This allowed for ms. bitchass to groom him more easily. She praised his talent, spent a lot of time with him, encouraged him to do more, and brought his ego up. Her effect on Wave stuck with him, since it wasn’t really that long ago, and he could even remember little words/phrases she would say. “You talk big game, huh?” is one of the things she said to Wave, and when Namtaan said the same thing to him, you could see him thinking back to those times with ms. bitchass. lmao almost everyone in this show has trauma. Now, when Wave decided to expose ms. bitchass for buying her bachelors degree and get her fired, that shows basically where he became like the wave from season 1. He wanted to win against her. He couldn’t let her get away with what she did to him. After all, isn’t he extremely talented? Despite him disposing of ms. bitchass, he still took in her words of encouragement and praise. He still believed it all. But after she “betrayed” him, he must’ve felt that perhaps she was lying... so in turn, he had to prove that he indeed was talented by getting back at ms. bitchass.

Ah yes, Wave is indeed a cocky motherfucker. But his ego can be easily tarnished by adults. The reason why I say adults, is because I don’t think he has ever felt threatened by a gifted student, other than Pang. When Punn tried to provoke him by saying he didn’t get head student, Wave didn’t give a shit cuz he knew (thought) he was better. But when Director Supot says “Wasuthorn im disappointed in you” and shit like that, Wave listens to it and gets pissed as hell. A lot of these behaviors come from his trauma with Ms. Nara. If you look at almost any internal conflict he has, it can be traced back to his self-worth and/or trust issues that stemmed from Ms. Nara. 

I don’t think I’ll need to explain this much but Wave’s need to win at everything is basically to prove to everyone (but actually just to himself) that he’s better/more talented than everyone else again because of his past trauma and how he had almost no emotional support.

Okay now I’m gonna talk about his relationship with Pang and their trust. This is the part where I’ll get the most wrong cuz episode 9 of tgg just fucking came out and im rushing cuz i wanna watch it. Again, unlike other peers, Pang reaches out to Wave as an equal, and they have an agreed ideal. Fuck the school system, it just makes kids feel bad about themselves and give them trauma. At first, I think Wave trusted Pang because of his idealistic and almost naive outlook on the world; he just seemed good, and like he genuinely wanted to do something to better people. However, in the end his ideals and beliefs to align with Pang’s exactly. No one wanted to give up their potentials for their own reasons, Wave’s being to protect his breakable ego. lmao this is getting messy im so sorry welp lets move on.

Characteristics and qualities from season 2, until episode 7

Wave trusts Pang. He says it to Time. It’s made clear in the beginning. But when Pang decides on things on his own and tries to find Korn on his own, Wave starts to see a pattern. Pang (unknowingly) only comes to Wave when he needs help with something regarding doing the right thing blah blah blah hero complex shit. and like Wave said, once he doesn’t agree with Pang, he just does everything on his own, like his view is the only correct one.

Lets take Korn for example. Or the whole “there’s an imposter among us” drama. Wave was the one with the braincell in the moment. He was the one to conclude that they could be someone within the group who betrayed them. He looked at the situation logically, while Pang was looking at it idealistically. This is what separates them and causes friction between them. Wave can separate and balance his ideals/logic/emotions, while Pang’s ideals/logic/emotion are all smushed together and combined.

Last point: his last fight with pang (episode 7) was a valid one. Wave was hurt af. and i think he started to see Pang as another Ms. Nara. The difference here is that Pang is a kid, and he’s also unstable, so they’re both affected by what he’s doing. It is possible that Punn used Pang’s potential on Wave, but it wouldn’t be out of character if the fight came up naturally.

Summary

Has an inflated, yet breakable ego

does what he can to prove that he’s talented/good enough to protect his ego from shattering

trust issues (stemming from Ms. Nara)

a smart boi

he can balance his ideals/logic/emotions most of the time

Sees Ms. Nara in everyone, compares all of his relationships to the one between him and Ms. Nara

Genuinely cares for people and is afraid to lose the emotional support he has (since he lacked so much of it in his childhood)

A smol bean that must be protected

Cocky

could probably be the villain to a superhero movie if he wanted to

[serialreblogger]

some of your post/reblogs were so relatable to me that more and more I think I may have ADHD (I'm like, at least 70% sure of this and the 30% is me searching for a psychiatrist/therapist that I can trust/afford, anyway) so, since your how to essay post Im talking myself to ask if you have some study tips or tips to focus, anything to help, really. I'm in college and I can't focus to read 2 paragraphs which makes me anxious and makes me procrastinate because I can't study and I HAVE to study so I avoid everything but then I think NOW I have even less time to study and I got stuck in this circle. And because I can't read anything I also cant bullshit my way writing papers that I have to so I don't do this too, so I'm just spiraling more and more with this which also doesn't help with the depression. And I'm so, so SORRY to dump my problems on you (this isn't my intention here) but if you have some tips or don't mind talking about what you do to study I really appreciate it with all my heart.

oh friend, i’m so sorry to hear you’re goin through that, it’s EXTREMELY relatable tho. everything you just wrote basically sums up my entire first year of university (just add in a couple dozen spiralling panic attacks on the basement floor and you’ll be me), and while i wish i had advice i could promise would solve the issue, i don’t... know? that i would recommend doing exactly what i did? because while i made it through university with ridiculously good grades, i also exacerbated a pre-existing anxiety disorder to the point where i literally could not bear being alive for a while there.

but for whatever it’s worth, and bearing in mind that you need to prioritize your own well-being WAY above whatever grades you get on a stupid piece of paper, here’s some tips on how to get through course readings, based on what i’ve learned through blood, tears, trial and error:

don’t read the full two paragraphs, to start. ADHD makes reading academic articles hell, but (and i genuinely don’t know if this is possible for anyone else, the chemical cocktail of debilitating anxiety that was my brain at the time made me do things i otherwise couldn’t and definitely shouldn’t) i did manage to finagle a way to make it work for me.

See, the thing about academic papers is that they’re very nicely organized. every paragraph is dedicated to making an individual point, which is introduced at the beginning and summarized, more or less, towards the end. this means you can get a very handy-dandy trick, because here’s the thing about ADHD brains: we’re VERY GOOD at making connections.

so here’s the trick: you don’t actually have to read the paragraphs. Not the full ones, anyway.

Let’s break it down:

First, what is the overall reading meant to address? What’s the title of the book or article? Is there a heading or subtitle to provide you with extra information?

Second, what is the thesis statement in your paragraph? Yes, every essay has a thesis statement, but every paragraph also has a specific point to make, which is stated in a sort of mini-thesis, typically right at the beginning.

Once you know this thesis statement, the rest of the paragraph is just fleshing out and providing evidence for that statement. You can keep reading if you need more information to understand what the author’s getting at, but once you’ve got that thesis statement, the rest is just there to get in your way.

For neurotypicals, I think, it’s maybe necessary to read this stuff all the way through? I don’t know. What I do know is that, for ADHDers, we tend to be very, very good at making extrapolations from very minimal information, based on all the surrounding context.

You don’t need to do the full readings. You just need to read the first sentence, process what it’s saying, and skip over the rest.

(if the first sentence of the paragraph is nonsense to you, don’t panic. often the first sentence or even the whole introductory paragraph is intentionally confusing, so if there’s something you don’t understand, disregard it and move on to the second sentence, or the next paragraph.

this happens often, because a lot of academic writing is just a power play on the part of the writer. “Look How Smart I Am Compared To You, You Have To Work So Hard To Figure Out What I’m Saying,” etc. Don’t buy it, tho--the true measure of intelligence isn’t how thoroughly you can confuse someone else, it’s how effectively you can share the knowledge you have. Intelligence is useless if you can’t share it.

Do whatever you can to make it through essential readings, but don’t be intimidated by them. If you can’t understand them, it’s not because you aren’t “smart enough,” it’s because they’re badly written.)

Final notes: this process is meant to walk you through reading papers, but it also lowkey applies to a lot of insurmountable tasks in academia.

You look at a 5-page paper, look at your attention span, and immediately despair because yeah, that’s impossible. The solution is not to expand your attention span, because that’s also impossible. So, instead, don’t look at the 5 pages.

Look at an impossible task, and break it down into its smallest pieces.

Don’t look at the 5 pages, don’t even look at the first two paragraphs. Make a plan for how reading a single paragraph might be possible for you (in this case, break the paragraph down into its own components, and skim over most of them in favour of reading only the most necessary portions). Then focus on finding those one or two sentences you need in the very first paragraph. That’s doable.

You do that, and then you move onto the next.

It’s extremely difficult, especially for ADHDers, to limit your mental vision to the most immediate task and stop looking at the big picture, but it’s also necessary. If you can find a way to make the smallest tasks possible for you, you can break the big, impossible ones down until they’re made of tiny chores. You can do tiny chores. You can read one sentence, take five minutes to process it, but you can read it. That’s all you need to be able to do.

Read one sentence. Skip the rest. Move on to the next paragraph. Repeat.

That’s the real secret, the one that got me through university. It’s impossible to complete a biology lab, it’s impossible to read this entire interminable textbook, so don’t think about the impossible tasks. Think about the single step directly in front of you, focus entirely on that, and eventually, the impossible tasks will be done.

(The other thing I recommend is not taking a full courseload. Please, please, please make sure that in addition to getting your schoolwork done, you also have enough time left over for you to truly relax, and not feel guilty for doing so. If you’re getting intrusive thoughts halfway through an essay, but instead of terrible things you’re thinking about your latest favourite TV show and feel like your brain is thirsty to watch it? You’re working too hard. Take it from someone who ignored their own mental needs until it wrecked them past the point of continuing--burnout is not fun, and you deserve to protect yourself from it. Take it slow. Your wants are just as important as your needs, and both are way more important than your schoolwork.)

[beeslover]

im lmao so hard right now like I have seen some people on here bending over backward in support of Tatí’s new video. honestly I wanted to watch it for comedic purposes (it was worth it) but like now I def have my two worthless cents to throw in. additionally, I see more backlash on her yt comments than on here.

anyways she’s a FUCKING FRAUD and the lengths she goes to in making herself a victim is disgusting! I’m going to list the things I noticed as I watched her video.

1. she releases it now in fucking 2020 months later with a pandemic raging and BLM and numerous police brutality protests like are you tone deaf??? people are struggling with a lot of other shit and you just decide let me make a video about my horrible problems

2. in the beginning of her video she says injustice of her situation and the truth. you know what’s an injustice: black people being murdered by the police while our society sits back and watches it complacently. MURDERING COPS walking free but I’m so sorry what happened in your ‘dramageddon’ is an injustice

3. she claims no responsibility she blames it all on the fact that she was manipulated and gas lit. I have to laugh, you’re a grown as woman (this isn’t no fucking ageism) you have been around the block you have been in this industry for years you know the shitty people that you’ve worked alongside but you wanna claim you were manipulated by two other grown men??!! I can’t believe it

4. she proceeds to then excuse her relationship with Jeffrey because she didn’t know he was racist lmaoooo suuuuuuuuure. you made that video for views no need to lie

5. this one reaaaaalllly pissed me off. She said in relation to both Jeffrey and Charles that she saw they were both questionable and she felt she could be a role model for them. Lmaooooo wtf like what kind of white woman savior shit is this?!!!?? you don’t make friends with people you think are morally questionable so you can then be morally superior and become their role model to help them like what the fuck? That makes no sense. this makes her seem like she’s just the sweet angel mom who just wants to help everyone

6. the stupid fucking peace shirt, the script approved by her legal team, and her excessive use of tears was just ridiculous

7. she claimed that Jeffrey has tea on veryone and he can black mail anyone he wants any time - Trisha peytas made a good point here saying what like that he’s gonna tell people about the times you said racist or evil shit?? Like this is to protect yourself and then asking people not to participate in canceling influencers! lmaooooo girl why are you concerned with rich influencers being “cancelled”??

8. and then ofc she brought up the most important thing - the hair vitamins lmaoooo. you know it was all about her business and her money but people are reaching saying she truly feels bad. if you really wanted this shit to be done you don’t try to shift blame to other people. you stay the fuck off yt and solve this privately like grown adults

9. this post is strictly in response to Tatí’s video, i am not speaking about any shit Jeffrey or Shane or James has done bc that’s a whole another thing but I really hated this video but it was hilarious 10/10 for the YouTuber apology videos

10. and you know what really spoke volumes?? the fact that she never brought up BLM, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor or the other countless deaths! she pushed some ducking charity of hers and that Adsense was going there! it’s very telling this woman doesn’t give a shit about poc and trying to help those who really need it right now and who has a platform to speak up but doesn’t use it except for some petty drama that affected her business

12. also she said she removed her bye sisters video because yt said it was not good for their image!!! Girl you’re not fooling anyone.... it wasn’t good for her image. accusing someone of being a sexual predator for millions to view is defamation and would land your ass in hot water and it literally protects you and your image.

13. and you know really irritates me is that this grown woman says she essentially she couldn’t think for herself. not once did she pause and question what Jeffrey or Shane were telling her?? not once did she try to investigate if these claims were true?? her first reaction was to get on yt and film a 50 min video to defend herself. come on this isn’t something to joke about like you are accusing someone of being a sexual predator how did you think things would go??? no actions for your consequences like you’re videos and words don’t exist in a vacuum

14. also Tatí didn’t come for Jeffrey and Shane in this video.... that would imply that people haven’t known the disgusting things they been doing all along. it’s like your late but people somehow think she just destroyed their careers....I have to laugh

16. i just remembered something else! she admits herself in the video she wasn’t that close with jefrrey (bc he smoked weed at his house and she didn’t feel comfortable) or Shane either. so she didn’t have a very developed and strong relationship with these two men but she believed (was manipulated) there accusations/gossip/rumors about James....that makes no cents sis.

17. TL;DR: Tatí’s video is hilarious and honestly very telling about the narcissistic characteristics you tubers display when creating their narratives and feeding viewers their bullshit

[cutemoniic]

a not so friendly reminder, because im pissed off as hell, that i keep a lot of stuff quiet to avoid ooc drama and stress. this is NOT one of these occasions, because i shut up about it for far too long. the person who is involved actually thinks that theyre getting off scotts free, but hoho and fucking HO theyre not.

i have despised those who played sweethearts, then revealed themselves as addicted to ic/ooc/whatever drama if it gave their muse(s) the spotlight, impulsivity and not really thinking about ic consequences over ooc and vice versa thus possibly harming their rp partners and the shared trust they have, those who only made their muses bond with fucking traumas because its the easiest way to both get attention and 'develope their character' (spoiler; its not!) and with people i cared about that revealed themselves as completely unwilling to take blame for anything that they caused unless it was to gather pity points and try to trick the other person in dropping it due to feeling bad for them waa waa waa. oh, and it includes trashtalking or making up sudden problems about other people who are supposedly close to them because its the easiest way to gather, you guessed it, attentions and pity points! its easier to blame things on people than to look at ourselves and say ''hey, maybe i am the problem, i should work on that...'' and while i can understand that you may not have the correct help network or even the meanings to help yourself, its very hard. but the moment you start hurting people, its when your mind should be dead set in getting actual fucking help. with ANY means necessary. bull-fucking-doze through everything just to get help.

the problem in this is that you promised me to try and change, or fuck off from our lives forever, which is a very convenient alternative of saying ''i do not intent in changing how i behave ever so ill leave you alone''. to quit rp because it was harming your mental health with various drama, and you said that ''you were plenty pissed at yourself'' for ''letting this happen'', when in reality you could have changed it around with a bit of spine put into it, but all the sweet words of support me and others gave to you were better than try and forcing yourself in an uncomfortable position of struggling to change and improve yourself. guess what you did? you never stopped rping. you took some days off cowering to see if there was gonna be backlash, then noticed that we werent going to call you the fuck out for your behavior, and went back to it immediately with 0 remorse, keeping the stuff our muses gifted you because we did not stopped you or told you anything about it so hey a loophole to exploit for muse purposes! it didnt mattered that another person was hurt by the fact that you were finicky and kept making up excuses to keep your muse in a cute uwu relationship as long as you had what you wanted and you could get yourself out of trouble by squeezing out a few tears. im very convinced that you only kept it around to have an excuse to have other relationship, so as soon as you got your #1 prize nothing else mattered to you, but you ALSO wanted that. for your impulsivity, you put muses and muns through uncomfortable, VERY alarming scenarios just to fullfill your need for your muse to be at the center of a fucked up show, and when confronted about it, you would pull the guilt trip card. im over that.

and not only this shitshow, you conveniently retconnected our muses from yours too, instead of addressing the situation properly or giving me more of a ''im sorry i suck sooooo FUCKING MUCH ill go now forget about me since im trash and please beat me to death on the way out''! you received 0 consequences for what you did, so you basked into it and ran like the wind back to what you were doing without a care that you hurt people who cared about you. you were ''still allowed'' to do things, making your final and victimistic speech to me completely and utter horse shit. you lied to me in your intentions because it got me off your back faster, despite me not being even remotely aggressive despite being pissed, but you never had any intentions of bettering yourself. it takes too much work, too many opportunities of attention wasted, so why actually sticking to it? you were deeply overwhelmed each time a muse was into drama, or better, when one of your muses wasnt at the center of attention, while stuffing your own muses FULL OF IT. FULL. OF. IT. i swear to fuck, i have never seen more drama filled muses than yours, and thats NOT a compliment or how a muse should even remotely be. a muse shouldnt be characterized by traumas and have them coddled and cuddled at every step if you want to bond with them. oh, and therapy for your muses to ACTUALLY solve their issues was a long, drawn out attention-filled endless journey that you forced my muse into, but the second someone else that you cared more about suggested it, you made your muse jumped over it like willy the fucking coyote would jump on beep beep, fully knowing that it would have appeared on our dashboards, since you were still following us and unfollowed me shortly after i unfollowed your muses. in case youre wondering, THIS THING was my breaking point. you are addicted to ic and ooc attentions both, and you feel no need to be better about anything until you can get what you want or need. this is entirely fucking malicious, and i cant stand it.

i dont have any other words for you, except that i could still very well give you an ample dose of backlash by simply going back into our chat, copy what you said about certaint people and how much ''trouble'' they were giving you, and paste it to them with no explanations. because, yknow, thanks to your inability of solving simple problems and blowing them WAY out of proportion to get sympathy out of it in hope to get peoples mind off other bigger problems, maybe caused me to misjudge some people who were probably clueless about ''what they were causing you'', because ooc communication is a thing from another planet, yeah? despite me actually CHEERLEADING you the fuck on to talk to them about the troubles you had with them, it never happened. im personally a very screenshott-y person in cases this shit happens. so no use going back and editing or even deleting the messages. i got what i needed already.

i know who i am speaking about. i will not name any names because i wanted this, originally, to stay quiet since it seemed ''solved'', but i know that this shit will reach them, and they will of course do absolutely nothing because of the reasons i listed upwards. maybe whine and moan and play victim as usual, probably trashtalk me around or twist the narrative instead of yknow trying to fix stuff. which i dont expect them to do, which they have NEVER done until they had no other way to receive attentions or to slip out of a situation, yadda yadda yadda. peace the fuck out. im done with this bullshit.

[onepdumpsterfire]

Eviction

#1 in the modern living series 

(Man is writing in third person hard for me. haha i might just change to first person for the rest of the series.)

Summary: Ace just wants the moving to stop, Sabo is the most responsible of the three and Luffy thinks m&m dominoes is bullshit.

Word Count: 1798

Ace . Sabo . Luffy . Sanji . Nami

Out in the countryside, where neighbors were half a mile away from each other, stood a house filled with memories long passed. Boxes littered its hallways as its normally rambunctious inhabitants sullenly grumbled their way through their belongings.

“This is stupid!” Luffy yelled while throwing down the blanket he was folding. “Gramps owns this place, they can’t just kick us out!”

“We’ve been through this, Luff,” Sabo said while gesturing at Ace to keep putting away clothes. “The city sent Garp invoices about the property, and since he’s never here the city just decided to go through with demolishing this place and build the extension of the highway here anyway.”

“But still! They can’t just kick us out!”

“Yeah. They can,” Ace retorted, once again giving up on folding. “It’s called ‘Eminent Domain’. They can take it if it’s for public use, and since we aren’t on the lease for the house we gotta wait till gramps gets back to get the money the city’s paying for the property.”

“... so we sold our house?”

“No, they’re taking it; but legally they can’t without giving us compensation for it.”

Pouting, Luffy huffed about how he didn’t see what m&m dominoes had to do with a highway being built on their home. “Don’t worry about it too much, Luff.” Sabo interrupted his disgruntled brother, “one way or another, construction already started. It’s too late to change anything.”

“Which brings me to my next point,” the blond turns to Ace, who averts his gaze to a far off corner in an attempt to try and remove himself from the situation. “They gave us until the end of the month and we’re already two weeks away! Have you even packed your room?” The question was more rhetorical than anything. Sabo already knew the answer, but if he didn’t antagonize his brother now he’d never get it done.

“I...have?”

“Why does your answer sound like a question? Y’know putting your clothes in the laundry basket doesn’t count as packing.”

“But they are put away,” Ace looked back at Sabo with a shit-eating smile and a pointed finger that dared the other to question him again.

“Have you taken down your posters? Or put away your covers and comics?”

Though, Ace should have thought better than to start a battle with someone who had an arsenal compared to his one bullet. “Were you just planning on moving without them?” Slowly, Ace’s finger deflated and cold sweat appeared on his brow.

The two had the same fight every time they had to move. 

Ace hated moving, but in a military family, all they did was move.

It happened every few months and yet he could never be bothered to do it until the very last second, when everyone else already had taken all their stuff.

Garp thought that this might have been his way of rebelling against it, but one thing Ace hated more was being left behind; so he’d wait until his anxiety got too much and then pack in a panic.

Eventually, though, Ace started to plan to move out on his own. That’s when Garp, begrudgingly, told them they could move to a house he owned. To where Luffy grew up before Dragon (Luffy’s father and Garp’s son) left for the military to follow in Garp’s footsteps. Before all the moving started. Before Ace and Sabo were adopted by him.

It may have been a more rural area than the apartments they usually lived in but that meant there was more space for ‘outdoor adventures’ as Luffy put it. (Not to mention he really wanted to introduce them to the two neighbor kids he’d made friends with and still kept in touch with from when he was little). Nonetheless, the other two just liked finally having a permanent place to call home.

However, until after they moved did they realize that it meant they would get to see Garp less. Garp used to show up about every two weeks then every few months was moved to a new station, but now they’ll only get to see him whenever he had enough time to fly all the way to visit them. 

As cold as it may sounds, they soon decided that they’d have to get used to it eventually and moved on pretty quickly. They were about to start their twenties, eventually, they were going to have to. (It wasn’t like he was around that often, to begin with anyway.) And with that, they moved to the countryside, though they would have never guessed that almost half a year later they were going to get an eviction notice.

The city thought there was no one living there, Garp having never answered the invoices or being there when they visited, so they moved on with expanding the city. But after the three showed up it had to be delayed. The city sent another notice that the three had to send to Garp, but this time it was telling them they needed to move out by the end of the month. At first, Garp told them not to worry about it, that he’d solve it. Though, one week later it became apparent that there was no way of changing the city's mind. 

The three boys decided that they’d move into an affordable two-bedroom apartment that Garp helped them get. Though, after the initial month, they’d have to find a way to start paying bills and such on their own. 

Sabo wanted to move out as soon as possible but if Ace kept up his usual antics, moving would have to go on hold until he could persuade the man-child to get a move on.

“Can you take this a bit more seriously?” Sabo wanted to continue to pester Ace until he did as told, but a sudden knock at the door stopped their bickering. “Just go pack your room.” 

“Saved by the bell,” Reclining back on his seat, Ace ignored him once again, “We have like two days left, man. It won’t take long to pack, so I can just do it later.” 

“I’m serious, Ace!” Sabo shouted from the front door before opening it up to see their red-headed neighbor. 

“Hey Nami, they’re in the hall clearing out a closet.”

“Okay, I got some boxes in my truck,” she pointed behind herself.

“I got them, you guys start eating without me.” Sabo moved aside so she could come inside before exiting himself to get the boxes.

“I’m back!” Nami set the pizza boxes down on the kitchen counter, “and I brought food!”

“Food!” Luffy dropped what he was doing and ran to her side. ”Thanks, Nami!”

“Sweet,” jumping up, Ace walked straight to the fridge “I’ll get us some drinks.”

“Your brother is getting some boxes from my car, by the way,” Nami said loudly, in the off chance either of them cared at the moment. “Greeeaaat. More boxes, just what we needed.” Ace commented sarcastically while handing out some sodas. 

“Don’t be an ass,” Sabo came in holding three boxes stacked on top of each other, “I’ll put these in your room for when you start packing.”

“Do as you please your royal highness.” Ace jeered, “just so you know, if you come back and there’s no pizza, it’s your fault.” 

“It’s right down the hall, I’m not gonna take long.”

“Yeah, but Luffy just tried to put three slices in his mouth.”

“Mook! Ah c-ah-n mut soar shlifesh im my mouf!” (translation: look! I can put four slices in my mouth!)  That was Luffy gargling over a mouth full of pizza. “obbb!” (translation: oww!) And that was Nami hitting him on the head for talking with his mouth full

“Stop stuffing your face, and eat normally!” 

“...Make that four...”

-

After their lunch, they all started packing everything into the U-haul moving truck they’d rented earlier that day, and finally, they called up Sanji to tell him they were on their way.

Sanji is someone Luffy met a couple of days after they’d moved into town, and pestered into coming over to hang out with him and his brothers. They’d all hit it off pretty fast after that, so much so that when their home was set to be demolished Sanji was the one who suggested they move into the same apartments as him and even helped them checklist everything they needed for first-time renters then offered to help them move in.

One long trip and much lifting later, everything they needed from the house was moved into the apartment and the rest of the stuff was either thrown away or kept in Nami’s shed until they could sell it in the flea market or a thrift store (this includes any of Garp’s belongings that weren’t sent to him.)

With exhaustion pulling down on her and an awaiting hour drive back to her home, Nami left the boys to finish the rest by themselves. “Alright, it’s getting pretty late so I’m gonna head out.” a chorus of tired goodbyes followed her to the door, “call me if you guys need anything.”

Getting up from his position on the couch they’d just dragged in, Sabo walked her to the door. “Yeah. Thanks, again, for helping out today.” 

“Don’t worry about,” Nami playfully pushed at his shoulder, “but if you wanna repay me then how about helping me out in next year’s summer market?” Chuckling, Sabo agreed to her request.

“Hey! Wait up, I’ll walk you to your car.” Sanji went to stand next to Sabo, “I have class early in the morning and should get some rest.”

Repeating their goodbyes one final time, the two left the boys to their first night at their new home.

Bonus:

Immediately after they both left Ace fell asleep on the couch, already knowing what Sabo wanted them to do next.

“Oi, wake up!” Sabo shook him by the shoulders, “we still gotta put the bed frames back together!” though to no surprise he didn’t budge.

Giving a sigh of surrender, he turned to Luffy, “guess we’re gonna ha- oohoho both of you are pieces of shit.”

While Sabo was busy trying to wake Ace up, Luffy made himself comfortable on the floor next to Ace and fell asleep.

“Fine! Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The blond threw his hands in the air while walking away to a bedroom to re-build the bed frames. “I hope both of you get a crick in your neck.”

Ace and Luffy opened an eye to sneakily check if the coast was clear before high-fiving each other and actually falling asleep.