REDACTED CHARACTER BUG RACE VOTES
🪱 Huxley, Scorpius, Asher, Nick, Sam
🐌 Vega, Lasko, Damien, M A R I E, Eli, Gavin, Caelum, Sam, Brachium, Anton, James, Aaron
🐛 Blake, Milo, David, Matt, Morgan (dammit...), Regulus, Hudson, Will, Vincent, Cam, Ivan, Ollie, Marcus
Abstentions:
Avior didn't know about the bug race bc *sad trombone*
And Echo voted for a boot 🥾
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Also the reason I write Gortash so obsessed with Durge and literally holding them above everyone else is because
Imagine: You meet a child of god. A child of cruel and evil god who is an awful murderer. Killing is their Sole Purpose, the reason why they were even created.
And that person one day REFUSES their father, their GOD. Why? Because of you. A child of god defies a god for you. They are made for killing but refuse to kill YOU when their god commands them to.
They get betrayed and disgraced because of you. You think they're dead. BECAUSE they chose you over everything else.
And then they return and alright, the memory is lost, but it's still them. You know it's them.
Like imagine the power trip Gortash had to have upon the revelation what Durge disobeyed their god for HIM.
Of course he'd be obsessed. The child of god said only he matters.
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I sat here scrolling Tumblr and then I heard my dad snoring on the other side of the wall.
And I've been making it a habit to consciously pay attention to the people I love, because I love them.
And so - I wasn't trying but this just came to me because of observations, and knowing, and perhaps the habit of it - I thought oh, that means he's sleeping.
Its the middle of the day. He does this sometimes. He's a very busy person, between two jobs, and 2-4 disabled kids. He takes power naps after lunch. He has a whole strategy. He's told it to me and I listened and I remembered because I love him.
He's also in burnout. My dad is burnt out and I understand because I am also burnt out. I wish I could help him but I am burnt out, and so all I can do is know him, is listen to him snoring and know that he is tired.
I get to listen to him snoring. He is tired. He is sleeping on the middle of the day because he is tired, from taking care of me, who am autistic, and my brother, with Prader-Willi Syndrome (shoutout to ppl with PWS), and his job 1 to pay the bills and job 2 to pay for the future and his wife and his other children and making sure we all get our enrichment.
And so he is snoring on the other side of the wall, and I can picture him tangled up in his blankets and sleeping because he is tired.
And so I get to listen to him snoring and think about all the things he does and how much he deserves rest, and how glad I am that he CAN rest, that he's worried and busy and anxious, but not too worried to sleep. Because he needs to sleep. And it's a blessing that he can do that.
And I'll sit here and appreciate him and all he does because I can hear him snoring (and it keeps everyone else up at night unless he uses his mouth guard, which we all call his snore-teeth, and I know this because I listen and I pay attention and I love him).
And he might never know that I sit here and think of him and love him and all he does, how grateful I am that he takes care of me when I'm his oldest and I'm autistic, and I don't feel overwhelmingly bad about that but I do wish I could help more than I do. Not be so big of a burden as I am. But all I can do is let him sleep.
He might never know that I take the time to listen to him snore. Maybe one of those days when he's feeling horrible I'll show it to him and say "you are loved and I see you and I am grateful for everything you do, I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." Maybe I'll make bits of this post into my Father's Day letter. I've been wondering what to do for that because I've been more vocal lately about how much I love him and sometimes it feels like there's nothing left to put in a Father's Day letter that wouldn't just be the same.
There's something special in just the same, though. Like listening to snoring. There's time. And when you're sitting in the middle of time, in the quiet and the dark and listening to snoring, and wondering when the next snore is gonna come, and contemplating life and love and time - well, I'm not doing anything else. And I'm not getting any younger. And maybe right now I can't mentally DO anything else. But I can do this.
I can contemplate my father, who is wise and loving and who pours himself out constantly, fill my mind with MY DAD instead of something else, because I love him.
I lied. My first thought wasn't "oh, that means he's sleeping." Well, it was subconscious. But right after, I thought, "I wish I had someone to love this way," meaning that I want to get married and have someone to love.
But I do have someone to love. I have my father. I can love him. I DO love him. And why am I pining for something I can't have, or worse, for someONE I can't have, when my lovely beautiful Dad is right there loving me in his sleep, in his waking, in his working, in his eating, in his thoughts, in his research, in his everything. I have him? Why do I need anyone else?
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Fanon Tails: I'm five years old and I love playing with airplanes and toy cars and sometimes I make little contraptions that allll of my big siblings that I love praise me for! My big brother Sonic takes care of me and protects me and teaches me how to live and act and read. I'm just a baby
Canon Tails: Hi! My name is Tails. I own a number of labs, and my hobby is building a number of mechanical and technological contraptions. I'm the smartest one of the team, so everyone often relies on me to hack into Eggman's network and shut down doomsday devices or surveillance equipment. Sonic is my best friend, so I maintain his plane, keep my kitchen stocked with his favorite food, and leave my doors open for him. We try to take care of each other. You'll often see me among Sonic or Sonic and our friends in the never ending battle against Dr. Eggman. Also I can and will build explosives and dangerous contraptions for fun.
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