#someone claimed catra and someone else really fucking wanted it

[blonde-and-cat-suc]

choose violence ask game: 3, 12 and 22?

p.s. love your blog, please keep spreading the truth!

And I love blogging <3!!! I do it for the girls and the gays.

>>>><<<<

Answers under the cut . . . This is gonna be a long one.

3) Screenshot or description of the worse take you've seen on tumblr?

Okay, so, the only problem with this one is that I've literally seen too many to count. But the one that I'd often seen and had the most visceral reaction to were definitely the longer, well articulated analysis posts from stans that did SO MUCH bending and twisting to claim Adora being equally toxic/(and or abusive) to Catra. Which, obviously, I also spent time analyzing. Trying my best to understand what was going on. And you know what? I get it. I don't agree. But I get it. Adora and Catra grew up under the same circumstances, so yeah, they wouldn't be entirely innocent of picking up bad habits from their childhood. Realistically. Fine.

But implying that Adora is worse? Worse than Catra?

...

Anyway, I've suffered from my own self-inflicted torture in the past. I wish I hadn't spent so much time reading stan analysis the way I did, but... Here we are.

And that's just on Tumblr. I don't believe that other social media/forum sites are better or worse about c//a and SPOP, but I have seen worse in The Wilds. (At least on Tumblr there's the filtering options. Everywhere else, good luck).

12) The unpopular character that you actually like, and why more people should like them?

Guys. I LOVE SWIFT WIND. I FUCKING LOVE SWIFT WIND I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S ANNOYING THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ANNOYING!!!

First of all, yes, yes, yes, Swift Wind is horrendous wasted potential (surprise, surprise), and yes, of course, I'm still pissed over it. Those scenes where he's so loyal and kind to Adora, and she, having no other point of reference for a friend, much less a resourceful friend... Like, awwhh. Plus, he makes it very clear that he has his own will and isn't just mindlessly following Adora around like a god-honest horse would. He has his own agenda. He doesn't have to go into battle with Adora, and doesn't gain too much from risking his life to help her and her friends in the short term, but Swift Wind does it anyway. He's interested and invested in Adora, personally, anyway. He wants to be there for her and support her growth as a person.

And Adora deserves all of those amazing, raw, sappy, fairytale friendships!

I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S LITERALLY A HORSE HE IS STILL FUNCTIONALLY A HUMAN BEING. THEY ARE BESTIES. THEY LITERALLY HAVE A MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC LINK GOING ON. THEY SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED SWIFTIE TO BE APART OF THE BEST FRIENDS SQUAD, I ACTUALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE ISN'T.

MORE LOVE FOR SWIFT WIND!!!

22) Favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores?

In my experience, this is the type of fandom that cultivates, um, extreme niches, for lack of a better term. As in, literally what my blog is compared to a "stan's" blog. They're like. Different SPOP fans everywhere, so I don't truly believe that there's a portion of this show that is genuinely ignored... There's someone out there that liked even the tiniest, unimportant fraction of this show. Just got to go find them. (Hell, I know people that love, like, Tall Star specifically, out of all the other characters. Nothing has gone totally unnoticed, which is something I really love about the fanbase as a whole, despite everything).

Anyway, to keep it short, my favorite "underappreciated" parts are hm... Maybe the parts where Adora gets to explore the world around her? And not in a super plot related way. I know that the BFS goofing off so much isn't totally ignored. But I like to see that Adora especially was still learning new things everyday in canon, just like, randomly. Nothing to do with the Horde or the Rebellion. Just. She should be excited for the new world around her, dude. Those are pretty rare moments in the show, actually. Wish there were more.

[tallysgreatestfan]

I’m curious..why do you find Hordak to be more likable in comparison to Catra? Not that I disagree, but the reasons I hear are varying, and I’m wondering on yours. Intrigued as to what the possible(though unlikely) reply will be.

Sorry that I took so long to answer, lots of stuff going on. Anyway, I will censor her name here because this totally is stuff one gets harassed for in this fandom. Also please note that I do not mean this as "you are not allowed to like her because there are things that do not work well in her arc/because she did bad things". It is just stuff I personally can't like her anymore for, if it still works out for you, I'm glad, and nobody is a bad person for liking characters that did shit wrong.

It can be summarized with that I share more similarities with how Hordak deals with his trauma and his issues than how C*tra does, and also that for me the writing of his arc, while being fairly in the background and just not much, feels solid in a way the writing of her arc does not.

I am disabled, like Hordak (though not physically disabled), and like him, I feel that I kind of have to “make up” for being disabled or else I am worthless. I am not a conquering dictator, even if certain antis did claim that for no reason and with no proof, obviously. When something fails Hordak mostly directs his anger at himself, even if he does have aggressive outbursts at his environment, but they come from not being able to process his anger. C*tra blames others when something goes wrong. For her, she herself did everything right, and she behaves like this even far into season 5 where she still claims Adora is to blame for C*tras fate, and others get attacked and abused if she is unhappy with something. As someone who always blames myself first, this is very unrelateable, hard to understand, and frankly, not particularly likeable.

Also – and I don’t mean that as you are not allowed to like her, liking characters with flaws does not mean you are a bad person – Hordak does punish people for failing or threatening his safety far too extreme, but he does not enjoy it. He thinks, in a twisted way because that is all he learned, that being a monster is the morally right thing to do. C*tra, on the other hand, enjoys hurting people – her expressions when she again hurt Adora in some way are a very good indicator of that – and she knows that her behavior is morally wrong, and she still does it because of her psychological issues and because she needs to hurt Adora so badly.

I also find the way Hordak treats Entrapta far more likeable than the way C*tra treats Adora. Yes, they are enemies at war, but C*tra insults, manipulates, attacks and belittles Adora even in situations where she could do without that, or when she could reach her goals with far lesser abuse. Contrast Hordak who is the only person in the entire cast who both respects Entrapta at every moment and stands up for her. He is a horrible person, but not to her. The one time he lashes out at her is not because he wants to hurt her, but because he is not good at dealing with his emotions and under immense stress, and it is visible that he feels sorry for it.

Now, I do love femslash enemies to lovers, and I indeed even shipped them until mid season three, thinking that there would be a well-executed redemption arc where C*tra admits that what she did was fucked up and apologizes and the fallout of her abuse of Adora and all the others is dealt with in detail, and slowly. I even think that with a well-written redemption arc, her and Adora could work out (even if I don’t prefer it). But season 5 just did not really do that.

This is the second part of why I find Hordak more likeable. His narration parts are short, but the narration always admits that what he did is wrong and his trauma is not an excuse, and that he needs to do better. It is not actually a redemption arc, but him finding his freedom and with that loosing his motivation to be a dictator, so it is not that easy to compare, but it feels nuanced. His victims also do not directly forgive him.

For C*tra, the narrative bends over backwards to justify that what she did was not that bad and that her victims should sympathize for her and that her abusing Adora is romantic and love. Everybody forgive her and her favorite victim smooches her for barely changing at all. She still treats everybody around her badly, and while this could have been read as her change being gradual, the writing is just not good enough for it to feel that way, because there is no visible gradual change, just everybody praising her. Its frustrating, because she was such an interesting character up to season four, and there could have been such a good arc. But the narrative claiming that she is so innocent and perfect but never really showing it just, paradoxically, made me feel distant and even angry.

What also factors in is that there are many C*tra fans – not all of them, but enough to make it suck – who love to harass people like me, often even weaponizing our minority status against us and being biphobic and ableist, and then turning around and claiming we are the bigots for disliking a badly written character, or liking a character they personally dislike. So this also put a negative association to her.

[curiousscientistkae]

Another thing that has been bugging me

So once again, I have to start by saying this. All of this is under the cut. It is tagged. Yall do not have to read it so yall can ignore it. This is not made to be argued with. The show is nearly one year out since the ending so my stance won’t change. I doubt anyone else’s will but I still want to put this post out as why so many people are still upset about c/a and s/pop. If you are willing to just listen to the other side and then just move on, cool. If you are looking for a fight, please leave. You will be blocked if you start shit. I, and many other abuse victims, are allowed to be upset and criticize this show that once made us really happy. Please understand that. 

Anyway onto something that has been bugging me for a long long time:

There are many things I am upset over in s5. I and others have talked about many before. Today, I am gonna focus on the line Catra said about “I have always loved you” to Adora. 

This line is, bullshit. I could write a book on why and give examples for days. However, I will be sticking to five main points. In no order:

            1.Season 3 Inside the portal. 

Let’s start with this doozy. We know this is a perfect world, so to speak, and Catra and Adora are together. However, things start to fall apart quickly. Adora keeps wanting to figure out what is going on and Catra brushes her off. This keeps going on until a breaking point. The scene I want to focus on:

[cue fight]

Right off the bat, Catra is blaming Adora for something. It does not help that right before this scene, Adora is asking Catra to come with her, saying she won’t leave her again, yet Catra refuses. This is a topic for another day but in s5 Catra also had said “stay just this once” which is a lie since Adora kept asking for Catra to come. This is a topic for a different post. Moving on. 

“I won’t let you win. I’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.”

This line is uncomfortable. One of the biggest red flags for an abusive relationship is the line of “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

This line mirrors that line. Catra does not want Adora to win. She would let the whole world, millions of people, die then allow Adora to save them. This is NOT love. It’s toxic and dangerous and mirrors the biggest red flag on earth for an abusive relationship, for someone who is controlling. 

              2. Season 2 White Out

Oh boy. This is also a doozy. Let’s hit the ground running for this. After capturing Adora, right after infecting her with the First One’s tech, this happens:

Catra then laughs after this. She is gleeful at the thought of using Adora to attack Adora’s friends. In a point we will get to next, Catra knows Adora loves her friends. That hurting them, hurts her. She knows this and is using it against the person she later claims she has always loved. Now the second scene:

Oh boy. Where do I begin with this? It speaks for itself really. Catra does not want to give up controlling Adora. She WANTS to have control over her. THAT is abuse. That is NOT love. Hell, Catra was telling Scorpia not to destroy the disc. This is not good at all.

             3. Season 1 Going for the Heart. 

This one is more brief. But as said above, Catra knows about Adora’s love for her friends. How? She says it herself.

Following this, she attacks Princess Prom and takes away Adora’s friends. She knows Adora’s weakness, she is AWARE of it, and uses it to HURT Adora. Love is not supposed to harm, especially going out of your way and knowing the other’s weakness to hurt them.

            4. Season 1 Battle of Brightmoon

 More on Catra knowing what hurts Adora and using it against her:

Catra is putting Adora down. She is cutting deep into Adora, pretty much going for the jugular. Adora wants to protect others, it's part of her abuse and guilt complex. Catra knows this, she knows where to strike. She wants Adora to hurt. This is abuse, putting someone down, making them feel weak, blaming them for something. It’s horrible.

(not to mention here this the scene where Catra cuts Adora up like on the back which people seem to love to fetishize)

And this is in SEASON 1

               5. Season 5 Double Trouble

I was having some trouble finding caps for this but all in season 4 we had DT fucking with the Rebellion. Who sent them?

Catra?

Now thanks to a friend, I was able to find this. We all know Adora and Glimmer had problems in s4. Now it was starting before but who made it worse tho? DT was fucking with them, making them fight more. They added fuel to a fire that was burning, yes. But this scene just is gross also.

Once again, Catra knows Adora’s weakness. She is once again using it to her advantage. She is telling DT to go fuck with Adora’s and Glimmer’s relationship. This also can mirror the idea of in abuse, the abuser not wanting the person they abuse to have other friends. Catra was always mad Adora made new friends (another side note which can be its own post, again Adora asked Catra to come. Adora left an abusive household and asked Catra to come but Catra refused. And in the s5 flashback, we see Catra get mad and lash out that Adora is being friends with Lonnie). 

I can keep going on. Honestly. Hell in s5, if we should add more since I have at least one thing from every season, Catra did tell Prime about Adora’s ship. Like oof fam. 

So much is just not great. Now, I will give some credit. In s1, we do see Catra giving Adora the sword back and Adora and Glimmer are trying to get out of the Horde. She does say later something to the degree of “you think I would let Shadow Weaver erase your mind like that”

But honestly, that is all I can remember that can be argued for the “I've always loved you”.

Now, people will yell and scream at me that Catra changed. This is yet again, a whole different post. But like, she did not start really changing into s5. S5 had 13 eps and so much else going for it. That is TOO short of a time. Not to mention, everything above and more, that is HEAVY STUFF. It is not simple ‘I hurt you by mistake’. 

No, it's Catra wanting Adora to hurt. She wanted Adora to suffer. That is NOT love. I myself have had to suffer through mental and emotional abuse. I have had to suffer with someone putting me down, manipulating me, making me feel worthless but being told they love me. I hate this person and even if they ever change, I will never forgive for the years and years of abuse I had to and still do suffer from. I cannot fully get away from them as they are a family member. 

Catra never loved Adora. This is just a lie because so much of the above is not love. Even if I  missed this that could be in favor of the line, again, everything I have shown is really bad. Things that cannot easily be forgiven. So please understand why people are so upset and triggered by c/a.

S/pop and c/a could have been something but the crew really dropped the ball and just made it a horrible ship. And this mind you is coming from someone who used to ship it.

[lightdancer1]

A scene from the Magicatra AU:

"Hello, Catra." Catra bit her lip. It was the moment of truth, in the end. Here she was, in the Fright Zone. Everything that had happened at that prom, Adora manipulating her heart like she'd learned lessons from who she used to be (a part of her squirmed at the thought that she'd gotten through to Adora after all and not in the way she'd really wanted to). Here. In this place. With her again.

A mystic circle that kept her dammed in, and damned in, for that matter. She-Ra could see within her eyes and that meant she could tangibly see the magic without having to trigger it to see it. Shadow Weaver stood there, a finger tapping on the chin that she could not see.

"Well," she said, strangely lightly in tone. "You surprised me, my dear." This wasn't right. Sincerity? From Shadow Weaver? Positive words toward her? From Shadow Weaver? She'd been convinced Adora was lying about this, that Shadow Weaver had done some mind-whammy whateveritwas to make her think that. Maybe not.

"I am proud of you, my dear." Oh fuck, Adora wasn't lying. The worst part was that after all of this, Bright Moon, learning what love really was and what it was not.....after learning she was more than an oversized housepet for someone else.....there was a part of her that yearned very deeply for this. That part of her transformed her immediately from the wary and biding her time to unleash a volley of snark to someone frozen and still with a look in her eyes she hated but couldn't deny.

"You have proven mighty indeed." Shadow Weaver took a few steps toward her. "I was so very wrong about you, Catra. And I am not used to being wrong. Everything of destiny said the sword was Adora's, that the First Ones, the Eternians, would claim their own. Something changed that equation in a thousand years."

Her eyes were narrow. "Or maybe it didn't."

She could hear the smile. "After all, you too are one of the First Ones."

Her eyes went very wide. "You said I was an animal!" There it was. The old hate and the old defensiveness.

"Forgive an old woman her mistakes, dear Catra."

She either pulled out or summoned a chair and sat down in it, steepling her fingers.

"It is not the first time I made a grave mistake, from a grave miscalculation." There were layers in those words, though she didn't veil them in quite the same mystery. "You've seen the statue in Mystacor. You know where I came from and where I am now."

A bitter, angry laugh. "If I had had but the wits to see that between an overgrown oaf who gets away with dropping a sledgehammer because to her everything can be nail with enough force and someone who thinks, much might have been different."

Catra's eyes narrowed. "Adora is a good person. Don't talk about her that way."

Shadow Weaver's smile could be heard again. "Was she really a good person, Catra? She knew, and knew enough, of what happened to you all along. She knew I did not treat you with kindness. What was the word she used? Ungrateful?" There was no taunting in her phrasing and that was the most unpleasant part. Simply stating a fact.

Catra's glare was hateful but the silence led Shadow Weaver to laugh seemingly in triumph. "I was mistaken, yes." Real tones of regret and sincerity and that was why Catra's motions were as minimal as she could make them. Shadow Weaver was at her most dangerous when she told the truth as she saw it. "But at no point did I shape how Adora acted to my actions. She sees the world in black and white, and always has. A limited intellect married to great force. A good host for She-Ra but not the best."

Shadow Weaver shrugged.

"And isn't this what you always wanted? To be here, with me? To know you have my pride and my-"

There was noise and a clamor in the room and then the door burst in with a bang.

"Dammit Bow!" Both of them froze as they heard Glimmer's voice yelling. "Too much explosives in that arrow." They heard his apologetic tones and then Catra heard Glimmer shouting "Catra, catch!"

The Sword was in the air and in that moment Catra knew she could choose. The future she'd once dreamed of and now knew for the lie it had always been, replacing her old cage with Adora's (and what would that mean for Adora? She didn't want to imagine it and so consciously refused to). Or the future that had landed in her lap that day in the woods when the sword and the glowing blue AI woman had spoken to her.

As the Sword moved she made her decision, and in the end it was no choice at all.

[literaphobe]

catra playing among us. opinions?

oh fuck i forgot to do this and also i missed so many asks anyway

as crewmate:

never finishes her tasks, especially not the long ones, she might do a short one once in a while to evade sus

she doesn’t even know how to do some of the tasks because of how little tasks she does

the reason for this is because she doesn’t want to get killed and doesn’t see the point in finishing the tasks because task wins fucking SUCK to her she HATES task wins and wants to catch the killer. make ‘em sweat :)

she will DEF be that person who does like 2 tasks and yet will interrogate someone like “why didn’t you do card swipe huh? why’d you skip keys kyle?”

remembers her pathing most of the time. but hates giving straight answers when other crew mates ask her questions

“catra where were you and what were you doing?” “uh, busy being innocent? what’s it to you? you’re asking a lot of questions you know”

this does backfire on her sometimes and she gets sussed but WHEN she gets sussed (usually by glimmer, they can get into VERY heated arguments during meetings, it terrifies everyone into thinking they’re actually mad at each other, but then after the game they’re having tea together and laughing. it terrifies bow and adora a lot) that’s when she pulls out the Facts™

doesn’t like grouping. it’s unfair to the impostors and ruins the game in her opinion. she’ll stick by herself for the most part and only walk past other people by accident or to make sure she can be vouched for by someone

her goal as crewmate isn’t exactly to catch the impostor, even though she does like it, but rather to keep her play style similar to her impostor play style

usually instinctively knows who the impostors are by like round 2 or something but will only call them out if they try to throw the blame on her or if she sees them kill/vent, because that’s hard evidence and she can’t let that shit fly

one time tho....... she saw adora do a vent kill and she..... walked away. didn’t say anything about it. adora was the only impostor left that round and catra was the one who got adora’s impostor partner voted out earlier. adora ended up winning that game w catra being the last one left (adora didn’t kill her, but this is mostly because catra is evasive) and adora was so happy and laughed very sweetly and catra. did not regret it. but no one knows

as impostor:

oh she’s fucking TERRIFYING baby

very good at using vents + calling specific emergencies + killing specific people that will get someone else sussed (aka mermista glimmer and bow walk into electrical. she watches from a vent. mermista leaves then bow leaves and catra will kill glimmer so mermista susses bow)

her plays are always very smart and strategic, and tend to involve a lot of death, but she’s flexible and can change up her tactics depending on the game and depending on her impostor partner

she’s not really one for marination. it’s too much work and not enough kills for her liking. if her impostor partner marinates someone tho she’s fine with that

she is SO manipulative during meetings. she can kill someone in front of the entire lobby and convince everyone that the person killed themselves. she’ll kill someone in front of YOU and convince you that you did it. her strategy is a mix of charm, camaraderie, anger, and guilt tripping. she can scare you into voting an innocent person off or pal around with you into voting skip

if her impostor partner did something too sus she doesn’t really try to help them. she’ll vote them off and try winning the game on her own. unless she likes u. and she has sus on her too. also sometimes having to win on her own is a little scary and she deep down doesn’t want to struggle against so many people on her own. she likes winning and she hates losing and she will claim to enjoy solo wins the most but really getting a double kill on six after calling an emergency brings her the most relief. she does like celebrating an impostor win with her impostor partner but she’s not gonna admit that so willingly

[heartslobbf]

i think about catra and her attitude to saviourism a lot like. throughout the series she completely rejects others attempting to save her: to adora in 1x11, ‘for the last time, i don’t need you to save me,’ the scene with scorpia in 3x01 where she says ‘i can save you’ and instead catra chooses to push her away, 5x06’s ‘i told you not to come for me’.

i think that this is one aspect of catra’s character that really, really resonates with me, and it’s something i don’t see people talk about that much. catra is so brilliantly competent, she effectively gets herself out of being kidnapped in 2x02, the takes over the entirety of the crimson waste in a day, increases the horde’s productivity by 400% by only the end of s2. there are only two instances in which catra has to be saved before save the cat (which, oh boy) and those are 2x05 and 4x04.

2x05 is much much MUCH more scorpia’s moment but there is still a commentary to be had about catra in that moment. she definitely falls victim to hubris, this sense of overconfidence that, yeah, okay, i’m currently trapped in between the jaws of this evil robot thingy and the only way to stop it is by destroying a disc that i refuse to destroy because i’m a Lesbian but i’m competent, i don’t need to be saved, i’ll either get my way or i’ll fucking die. what is interesting about 2x05 is that catra does actually thank scorpia for saving her, however begrudgingly, and that’s probably down to the fact she’s beginning to have more security in their relationship. in 1x11, she’s more apprehensive to adora’s attempts to save her since all the security in their relationship has gone for catra since adora left.

this takes me onto 4x04 and the idea of security in relationships. at the end of 4x04, dt has to save catra from the collapsing hideout and afterwards, catra says to them ‘thank you, for... saving me.’ she’s hesitant, but it’s a lot more forthright than her ‘thanks for getting us out of there,’ to scorpia; the latter plays down the severity of the situation, makes out catra could’ve probably saved herself somehow, but with dt catra is upfront about how they’re the only reason she’s alive right now. that’s significant. catra is, for some reason, totally assured in the security of her and dt’s relationship despite the fact they hardly know one another. this is for a variety of reasons, most importantly the fact that catra thinks dt likes her more than her money (not that they don’t like catra, but, they’re quick to betray her for a bit of victory) and also, catra’s other relationships are collapsing before her. she thinks adora has given up on her, she can see how scorpia is beginning to question her.

catra won’t accept being saved by someone she can’t trust, and trust is incredibly important to her, hard to earn. in s1, adora loses that trust when she breaks the promise, and consequently catra can’t uphold her end of it or accept adora’s attempts to make up for it. she now knows she isn’t adora’s top priority, and can’t place trust in her to save her over everyone else. that’s terrifying for someone like catra, who relied on her promise with adora as a means of survival since she was a child. this is why save the cat is so fucking important, because it’s the reparation of that promise to look out for one another.

in 5x03, catra chooses to save glimmer as a means to save adora (‘are you saving me?’ ‘not you. adora.’). this is the first step in making the promise all over again, this is catra finally being the one to try and fix it first instead of adora. she resigns herself to death and makes it so adora never has to come to the velvet glove, never has to face horde prime on this awful ship, so she can just go back to etheria with glimmer and fight him off of their home. but, that’s not what happens. adora comes back for catra, she recognises that catra was looking out for her and in turn decides to look out for her: ‘i can’t just leave her there.’ she can’t. that would be breaking the promise all over again, after catra finally made the decision to uphold her end of it once more.

and 5x05? could write essays on this episode alone, obviously, of course, but anyways. this episode is so painful. the way that catra is stripped of all the things she prides herself on, her individuality, her competency, her agency, leaves her utterly unable to save herself. she claims to glimmer in 5x03 that ‘i always find a way out,’ but she can’t. she can’t. sometimes, catra has to accept that she cannot save herself. she needs others to help her. this comes back to her complete breakdown in s4, the way she repeatedly claims she doesn’t need anyone. she does. she needed scorpia in 2x05, she needed dt in 4x04, she needs adora now in 5x05. over the course of these instances, we have seen how catra comes to accept that fact, and her acceptance of adora saving her in 5x05 is so fucking brilliant.

at first, she rejects it. she told adora not to come for her, she resigned herself to death, and yet she’s still here. she has to put in the effort to be a better person now. but, as adora continues to confront her in 5x06, says that if catra wants, she can be all alone again and take care of herself, something changes. catra changes. she allows herself to accept adora’s help, accept entrapta’s, and most significantly asks adora to stay. she acknowledges that she wants adora, feels more safe and secure with her, and for once can actually admit that. this is the moment that the promise comes back together, where catra and adora have both upheld their ends of it, where they’re both finally willing to continue to do so.

and then they do. whilst catra still feels uncomfortable with the idea of being saved (the way she tries to downplay the events of 5x05 in 5x10 with ‘the only reason adora, you know, saved me or whatever’) she allows adora to look out for her and in turn catra will look out for her. they’re healing. adora defends catra from being too battered by the princesses, catra jumps into fire for adora. catra tackles melog head on to protect adora, adora strives to reassure and protect catra around shadow bitch. adora saves catra on horde prime’s ship, catra saves adora at the heart of etheria.

catra finally, truly learns that saving someone is a measure of love. yes, whilst catra and adora made that promise that compelled them to save each other, it was broken. in the end, they saved one another without even repairing it. it’s only in 5x12 that catra says ‘it’s time i made good on [my end of the promise],’ and whilst the promise was always a measure of love in itself, neither catra nor adora fully realised that until it was broken and they both attempted to fix it anyway. their love existed outside of that promise and it always did.

catra doesn’t always need to be saved, definitely not, but if she has people there who are willing to do it, she is loved. she is loved, and she deserves to have that. she deserves to be able to accept it. the fact that she does? poetic fuckin cinema luvs

[meg-noel-art]

Why do you believe that Catra never got over her what you called "obsessive and selfish love" for Adora? Because I didn't see that.

-gestures vaguely to all of the show-

Okay, you know what, let’s get into this. Because I’m honestly tired of it all. First let’s start with this: In popular media, is there a common theme of erotic subtext between rivals? Uh, yeah. Hell yeah. Tension between two people looking to one up each other that can be read as romantic or sexual? Oh absolutely. So, let’s, for the sake of argument assume that was the type of dynamic that Noelle and Co. were going for all along, as they’ve stated. Because they weren’t the first to play with this dynamic and they won’t the last.

So again, tension and subtext between rivals that escalates into passion or eventually real love? Yes.

On the other hand: betrayal, emotional manipulation, physical maiming and injury and outright seeking the utter demise and failure of you ‘rival’ because they made you sad by making a better choice than you did? That doesn’t equate to love.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s approach Catra’s motivations as all based around this deep love she has for Adora, which I will argue through this post is more of as passionate and selfish obsession than actual love. (And honestly, that’s a super cool character motivation, but pretending that it’s an epic love story is gross and I hate it.)

So, let’s return to Season 1

One of the first real battles we see Catra and Adora in takes place at the end of the season. This comes after ‘The Promise’ wherein Adora tries again to get Catra to come with her, but Catra doubles down on her desire to spite Adora for hurting her and leaving her, by being as nasty as she possibly can and putting Adora in just as much emotional pain. Here, she not only fights Adora, but cuts her down to her deepest insecurities. Catra knows Adora and she knows how desperately she wants to be a hero. It’s an aspect of Adora that Catra has always disliked because it made her feel lesser. In order to fully cripple her rival here, Catra tugs at the strings she knows will hurt the most.

“You will fail them (you failed me)”, “You’re friends will hate you (Just like I do)” “You will never be the hero you want to be (I will be the reason you can’t)”. If you want to talk about subtext in this scene, Catra’s unhealthy and obsessive desire to be the only thing Adora needs/wants/thinks about is literally all over the place. If you want to argue that she’s saying all of this because she’s hurting, then it’s literally the cruelest possible way she could say it. And the show doesn’t bother selling us on the fact that Catra is in pain here, it just hammers home the idea of how badly she wants Adora to fail so she can feel that pain too.

In no universe, would I call that treatment of someone love.

Next up, this moment in Season 2:

I remember everyone losing their minds over this scene, and again, arguing a sexual tension between rivals, then yes, that makes sense. But in the context of this entire episode and the ones leading up to this point? This statement from Catra is disgusting. And it gets worse.

In the next scene, we see Catra literally planning to use Adora as her own personal weapon (an aspect I find personally icky when considering the struggle Adora has with destiny/her own autonomy at the end of Season 4 being use by Light Hope as a weapon. Catra literally has the same idea.)

And moreso than that, Catra won’t just use her as a weapon. She will use Adora to cut down anyone else who has ever cared about her or shown her affection. It’s a new level of jealousy/possession that is touched on even moreso as the series goes on. But what’s crazy to me is that it seems to have developed from Season 1. In the Battle of Bright Moon, Adora could only fail them. Now, however much later this is, Catra wants her to hurt them too. Adora will hurt, her friends will hurt. Everyone will hurt like Catra does. Because she’s possessive of Adora’s affection. It makes her feel like she has meaning. Which is an entire other can of worms about Catra’s motivations and character, but we’re gonna move ahead to season 3.

This is a fascinating moment to me. At this point, Catra has essentially flunked out of the Horde, but she’s NEVER been more determined to prove herself to Hordak, to SW, to Adora, to everyone. But here, Scorpia points out how truly happy she is when Adora isn’t even in the damn picture anymore. The poisonous environment of the Horde is gone, Catra is claiming respect for her abilities and personality. Adora has nothing to do with it and she’s happy.

And then:

Look, I am remise to sound like a total asshole, but the entire show is pointing this out for me through even it’s dialogue. Catra’s pain and hate and obsession returns when Adora mentions that their shared abuser Shadow Weaver has chosen her yet again. Suddenly, nothing matters. None of Scorpia’s kind words, or the achievments she made in the Waste. All that matters, is beating Adora. Hurting her. Being better and more loved than her.

Honesty, at this point I’m losing the thread of ‘love’ entirely. Now it just feels like a total mission for vengeance.  But, once again, okay, let’s argue she’s really just angry and wants Adora’s love back. So what does she do to get it?

She opens the Portal to hurt Adora. As Adora screams don’t, begs her not to, tells her what it will do to their world, Catra does it anyway. Because Adora must hurt. She broke Catra’s heart and Catra must break it back. That’s how love works, I guess.

Once again, if the show was working on selling me on Catra’s motivations being sympathetic and fueled by love all along. It is failing.

Now, let’s talk about the Portal world that it takes them into. What everyone called their “perfect universe”.

So we have this moment, where Adora gets to the heart of the issue and asks Catra about her real pain. Catra avoids it, once again. Yes, of course she’s wanted this, they both always have. I suppose at this moment you could argue her true motivations come through, but it also just emboldens my point that Catra is not growing. She’s not gaining any character development. If she did just always want Adora by her side, this scene shows us that Adora has moved past these Horde induced childhood dreams they have. She has seen a bigger world and a bigger issue and Catra is still holding onto the hope that they will keep this promise to always have each others backs.

Which, is an ironic thing to hold onto considering Catra was the first to break this promise, by not going with Adora when the time was right. And yet she believes Adora is the one who owes her the apology. Now, this would be great set up for an arc about Catra coming to terms with the fact that she is the problem and Season 4 seemed ready to set that up but then... didn’t.

This line in particular has always stuck with me because it broke their relationship entirely for me. At this point, Catra could apologize all she wanted in a possible redemption arc, but the damage was done. She admitted a pain so deep that it would change her and Adora’s relationship forever. Her hurt ran so deep that she would rather die, see everything end, than see Adora find happiness outside of her.

I could stop this post here and honestly, my point would have been made. But we’ve got more to go.

I was so excited after the moment. After an entire season of snapping under the weight of her own choices. It is the image of Scorpia, who loved her unconditionally, who tells Catra that she is the problem and she always has been.

At this point, I was ready. Catra had hit rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. She would approach her pain and figure out who she wanted to be as a person. She would team up with the Rebellion because she knew it was the right thing to do, she would atone for her mistakes. By the end maybe she would go on her own adventure to find herself?

And.... No?

She doesn’t.

Season 5 rolls around and suddenly she is right back where she started, scrambling up the ladder for power and respect. It sure doesn’t work for Horde Prime, putting her in real danger. She even gets a few moments to connect with Glimmer (maybe apologize for the Portal...no... oh okay.) 

In fact, she saves Glimmer! But.... why does she do it? Certainly not for Glimmer’s sake, a character who has been stated by the crew to be literally her narrative foil, her other half. But...

Like...? At this point I don’t even know what the show is going for anymore, it’s a fucking mess. You could even argue that up to this point, Catra HAS been manipulating Glimmer to trust her so that she could in turn save Adora. Which is all kinds of fucked up, as we see in the conversation with the BFS squad that Glimmer WANTS to save Catra, and trusts her.

And then this memory that incited Catra’s desire to save Adora was:

I could have just answered with this screenshot and saved myself an hour. You wanna argue love? Fine. 

Then Catra has NEVER let go of her frankly concerning obsession with Adora’s attention and affection and that is no more clear that this memory where she also physically assaults her and steps on her, and Adora goes crawling after her trying to comfort her.

Oh? Are you, Catra? Well that’s cool. You are allowed to be sorry. But that doesn’t mean Adora owes you literally anything at this point. No one is ever obligated to accept any apology no matter how heartfelt it might be.

At the end of the day, this love story their trying to sell me on is so twisted I can hardly stand to watch the final season. Because it’s never worked out!! Adora immediatedly forgives every moment I’ve listed in this post and more. Catra never apologizes to someone who deserved it most, Scorpia. 

And more than that, Catra never grows into who she should have become as a character. She is stuffed into an OTP the show wanted from the beginning but failed for 5 seasons to make convincing or compelling.

Also Adora has such a huge heart she deserves someone who would treat her better than Catra could. Catra can’t. Catra can’t even treat herself right.

Like... Yeah. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Hope this answered your question. 

Obsessive, possessive....Gross. I’m tired. C/A won at the end of the day I guess, but at what cost?

[catracorner962]

Beautiful Children Ch. 2

Warning this chapter contains a flashback with both Adora and Catra being abused physically, emotionally and mentally! If you do not want to read this feel free to skip the all italicized flashbacks. Sections are broken up by "---" marks at the center. Skip these sections if that abuse is not something you want to read. Adora's flashback starts with "E...everyone accounted for?" and Catra's starts with "Catra bit her tail, stifling a sob."

Like my writing? Consider buying me a Ko-fi! No amount is too small and it really helps! If that isn’t an option, no worries! Reblogs, sharing, comments, spreading the word is equally appreciated! 

“Let me get this straight,” Glimmer rubbed her temples. “Catra found a baby? And no one on this ship has claimed it as there’s?”

Adora nodded, holding the little infant to her. It has ceased crying and finally slept in the poorly made swaddle Bow had fashioned for it.

“Not one person?” The queen demanded.

“Honey,” Bow consoled from his place in the captain’s chair. He put the ship on auto-pilot and put an arm on his wife’s shoulder. Glimmer relaxed a little under this touch but eyed Adora sharply.

“And where is she now?”

“Who?”

“Catra!” Glimmer suppressed a hiss of irritation.

“Oh, she’s….she’s helping Perfuma and Frosta make people comfortable.” Adora couldn’t help a swell of pride in her chest.

“She is?!” Bow visibly gushed, “that’s sooo...cute!”

“Bow! Can we get back to the matter at hand?”

Bow nodded, regaining his composure though he glanced at Adora, beaming.

“You found a baby, and it doesn't belong to anyone here?”

Adora glanced down at the sleeping thing, baby, kitten, kit? What were baby magicats called? It’s little mouth puckered, sucking on nothing but hope for some milk. Her chest warmed, watching it sleep and gurgle. She held the kitten closer to her.

“No, I went around and asked twice. So did Catra, it doesn’t have any parents.”

“It’s parent’s mustive….” Bow’s look of joy diminished for a moment, “must’ve died in the bombs or…” he didn’t finish the sentence but Adora knew, her stomach churning with disgust.

They could’ve been chipped by the Brotherhood, we could’ve killed them….

Her fingers tightened around the blanket that held the baby.

“...and Catra said it’s a magicat? Like her?”

Glimmer asked more quietly, coming around to peer at the sleeping infant. Her face turned up in the slightest of smiles.

“She didn’t but it must be. It’s got ears and tail just like her.”

Glimmer reached out, touching one hand to its smooth cheek. A little too hollow for what should be a pudgy baby, but still adorable.

“How old do you think it is?” Bow asked, leaning over Glimmer to get a better look. Adora shrugged, adjusting the baby in her arms. It stirred, all three of them holding a collective breath. They watched in suspense, as it’s face scrunched up,  brows furrowing. A short little mewl escaped it’s mouth before it settled back down, snorting a little and finally falling to silence.

It’s so cute, so precious. Poor thing.

She leaned down and placed a kiss upon its forehead, inhaling the smell of the battlefield and still somehow fresh life. Destruction and birth. Adora shuttered. Looking down at that new face, so oblivious to everything around it, content in sleep. Thick blonde eyelashes, pink little lips, perfect small brows, each finger curled into a little fist, it’s...

“Catra! There you are, get in here!”

Adora looked up, sucked from a daydream.

“We got any more food in this joint?” Catra glanced at Adora and made a beeline for one of the storage units in the cockpit.

“Catra,” Glimmer raced after her, grabbing her by the shoulders all but dragging her over. “This baby is it? Is it like you? A magicat? What do they eat, how old is it?”

Catra blinked, face drawn. Her eyes flicked from Adora, to the baby and back to Glimmer. She glared, folding her arms across her chest.

“There weren’t exactly any other magicats in the Horde!”

Adora watched her visibly flinch and moved to stand beside her wife. Holding the baby with one arm and putting a hand to the small of Catra’s back with the other. She stiffened but didn’t shy away.

“I just thought, since you are one….” Glimmer pressed, leaning closer to an ever flustered Catra,

“You would know! What they drink, how much sleep they need, how long they stay with their parents after birth?”

“Fuck should I know Sparkles?!” Catra’s tail bristled, “my parents abandoned me when I was a baby! Dumped me outside the Fright Zone in a fucking box.  They didn’t want me and I don’t want anything to do with them!  I don’t know shit about magicats and I honestly don’t fucking care alright?! Now where do you keep the extra food, we have people out there who need it!”

This baby needs someone to take care of it… . Adora thought

Glimmer stumbled backward, Catra’s ears pinned to the side of her head as she strode forward rummaging.

“It’s, it’s okay,” Adora began slowly, swaying from side to side as the baby slept. “We just...we’re trying to get more information so we can take care of it,” she reasoned, smiling looking at the little thing sleeping in her arms.

Catra stood stick straight, ears pricking up.

“Take care of it?”

Bow looked between them,

“What...what else are we supposed to do?” Glimmer asked quietly.

“Take it back to Etheria!” Adora announced.

“Leave it there!” Catra huffed.

Bow, Glimmer, and Adora snapped around, eyes wide. Adora swallowed her shocked gasp, adjusting the baby to lay against her chest, instinctively closer. Bow’s eyes nearly bulged from his head. Glimmer’s lips only tightened. Though the ship moved gracefully through the sky, everything else seemed to go still.

“.....L...leave it there?” Adora recovered lamley.

“But we already took off,” Bow offered, nervous, “we can’t turn around and leave it there on an abandoned planet.”

“Are you crazy?” Glimmer demanded deadpan. Catra snorted, pulling out tins of perishable food from the storage cabinet. They could be put into the re-hydrater in the kitchen and served in no time.

“We’ll find the nearest habitable planet and leave it there.”

Before Adora could retort the magicat turned on her nimble heel, arms full of food and punched the door lock with her elbow, all without sparing a glance at the little baby in her wife’s arms.

They exchanged a look after the door slid shut.

“Well….whatever we do with it, we better figure out fast. We’ll be back in Brightmoon by this time tomorrow,” Bow answered reviewing the flight map.

Adora mustered a nod, her heart sinking with pity at the little baby smooshed against her. It’s warmth radiated, the feel of it’s small form against her’s. Fluffy and light, so….trusting and pure somehow. Innocent.

She kissed the top of its golden head again, relishing in the touch. She closed her eyes,

Calm.

Serenity.

“Adora?...Adora! Earth to Adora!”

“AAAhh!” Adora screamed, Glimmer manifested before her surrounded by pink bubbly magic. She instantly bit her tongue, looking down at the peaceful baby. It’s face scrunched up once more, it’s little mouth turning to a frown.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay! It’s…”

“Ehhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!”

“Oh no, no, no it’s okay, shhhh,” she attempted to soothe, rubbing circles on its back and swaying to and fro.

“I was going to ask what you think we should do,” Glimmer began, even as Adora started to pace the small cockpit.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, walking rhythmically, feeling the baby’s tiny body expand each time it let out a pitiful wail. She should feel it’s lungs working overtime, it’s stubby tail twitched.

“Shhh you’re alright. You were having such a good sleep!” She cooed, patting its back.

“Adora?”

“Hmm?”

“I need to get out there and help the others,” Adora could sense the lack of patience ebbing at the queen’s voice. She may have larger duties to attend to, other priorities but Adora could only think of one thing at the moment. The thing that cried into her ear, the thing with little fingers grasping at her skin.

“I know, it’s...it’s okay, I can take care of the baby. You go see how everyone else is doing.”

Glimmer bit the inside of her cheek before she could verbalize any rebuke.

Probably something about SheRa and babysitting duty, Adora guessed.

“I need to go assist the others. Once it’s asleep come find me. We have lots of people we have to figure out where they are going once we get to Brightmoon and make sure they have all necessities. And we will want to question some of them about the brotherhood. Just...just come find me as soon as it’s asleep okay?”

Adora nodded,

Hope it takes a while, that way  I can spend more time with them,  she thought fondly, continuing to rub circles over it’s back. Her hands knew the repetitive motion well. Catra continued to get nightmares at least three times a week.

Glimmer stared at her a few more seconds before shrugging and going over to give Bow a quick kiss. The door opened, then slid shut again, and Adora was left with the small kitten.

---

“E...everyone accounted for?” Adora wheezed, rubbing the bruise on her left cheek. Rogelio growled, nodding from where crouched, rubbings his tail.

“I...I think so,” Kyle panted, he moved mechanically on his hands and knees, wincing as he picked up his staff and collapsed it into his holster.

Adora looked around the area, scanning the large circular room for any splattering of blood or broken equipment. A large black screen loomed down over them from the right side wall. Even without Hordak’s impossing image, Adora’s stomach tied in knots. He didn’t need to be on the screen in order to see them.

We failed, she sniffed, fighting tears. She rubbed them away with the back of her hand, the skin red and hot.

Probably burnt.

She fought another round of tears.

No.  Don’t cry. Shut up. Who else is left, who else is hurt? You are not what’s important right now.

Adora swallowed the tight lump in her throat.

“Catra? You okay?”

“Hmmmph fine,” the younger girl answered, she licked at her right forearm. Face stuck in a scowl.

“Lonnie?”

Adora crouched down to see under the metal beams.

“Lonnie you okay? I saw you really took that last hit hard!”

She held her breath, anxiety hinging on the other girl’s answer.

“I’m okay.”

Adora deflated with relief, watching Lonnie limp out from behind one of the metal beams.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Must’ve banged my ankle.”

Adora glanced down at the cadet’s red boot. It wasn’t falling off, her limp wasn’t that bad.

“Okay. Just take it easy I guess.”

Lonnie eyed her with quiet resolve but nodded and slunk over to Rogelio.

“Adora! Get up!”

Adora sprang from her bed that evening, heart hammering in her chest, body suddenly drenched in a cold sweat.

Two vacant white eyes, soulless and blank stood over her.

“Sh...Shadow Weaver!”

“Shh! Do not wake the other cadet’s. Come with me now.”

Adora nodded, still shaking. Rising from her bed. She spared a look over her shoulder. The top bunk still appeared to be occupied.

Good Catra’s still asleep.

It wouldn’t be the first time Shadow Weaver had woken her at some immeasurable hour only for her to find Catra restrained in the Black Garnet chamber to teach the two of them “a lesson.” Adora put a hand to her chest, trying to calm her heart as Shadow Weaver led her down the empty echoing halls of the Fright Zone.

“Umm...Shadow Weaver... where are we going?”

“Shhh! Did I permit you to speak?”

The sorceress demanded without turning towards her. Adora sunk her head low. Allowing her golden hair to hide her face.

“No ma’am.”

The sorceress nodded, motioning for Adora to come with her as they rode down one of the many elevator shafts. Adora stood silent, straight.

Don’t ask questions.

Only speak when spoken to.

Follow orders, don’t disobey.

You’ll be punished.

Or more accurately, Catra would be punished.

The elevator stopped, Shadow Weaver exited, gesturing for her to follow. With dragging feet Adora continued down the lengthy hall. The red emergency lights cast an eerie glow. Illuminating the walls.

“Infirmary,” with an arrow pointing further down the corridor.

Who’s in the…?

They stopped, Adora craned her neck to see through the glass window, into the sick bays.

“Who is that?” Shadow Weaver pointed one grey finger at one of the beds.

Adora jumped up, trying to see, then gasped.

Lonnie?!

“Who is that cadet speak quickly!

Shadow Weaver demanded, leaning forward. Shadows rippled from her robes.

“Lonnie! It’s Lonnie! Is...is she okay?”

“I don’t know cadet, you tell me! She was in your training exercise this morning.”

“I ...I know!” Adora spluttered, ringing her hands through a lock of hair. “She...she was! She took the last hit from one of the bots! I asked her if she was okay but….”

A shadow leapt from the sorceresses robes, Adora shrieked, flinching as it zipped toward her, through her fingers and into the strand of hair she fiddled with. It sizzled and smoked, a fowl stench filling Adora’s nose.

‘Don’t play with your hair!” Shadow Weaver thundered, “look at me! Lonnie is in your squad! You were in charge of the drill. She is hurt.”

“I...I know!” Adora’s voice cracked, tears pressing at her eyes. She wrung her fingers together watching nervously as the shadow drifted through the piece of hair, pulling it back, against her head. She pinched her eyes shut in discomfort at the tense yank of her scalp.

“Adora!”

Shadow Weaver crouched over her.

“I...I asked her if she was okay! I asked her if it hurt! She said it would be fine!”

“And you took her word for it?”

“Y...yes!” Adora broke down in sobs.

“Why didn’t you bring her straight here?”

“I….” she looked up, over at where Lonnie lay asleep on a cot. “I didn’t know,” she whined, tears streaming down her face.

“She had to be bright here on stretcher, after waking some other cadets earlier. Crying in pain Adora and now she’s out of commission for a week while the leg heals. A week!”

“I...I’m..s...s...sorry!”

Adora’s chest cracked with guilt.

Poor Lonnie. She was in so much pain! She should’ve told me! I should’ve helped her! I should’ve made her get it looked at!

“Lonnie is in your squad. You protect people in your squad Adora. That is the job of a leader. Protecting people and making sure they are not harmed. You must always look after those in your care. Who’s fault is this?”

“M...mine,” Adora whimpered. A hot runny line of snot snaking from her nose.  “Louder cadet!” Shadow Weaver snarled. Her shadows rising around her.

“Mine!” Adora shrank back against the wall. “It’s my fault Shadow Weaver! I should’ve kept a better watch on her, I should’ve made her show me the wound. I...I should’ve protected her more!”

“Very good Adora,” the shadows dissipated.

“While Lonnie’s out you will take over her latrine duty for the next week.”

Adora knew better than to show objection on her face. She only sniffled, pulling up her shirt to wipe her nose, wishing she could bury her face inside it forever.

“Y...es Shadow Weaver.”

“And?” The sorceress asked.

Adora drew a shaky breath, finally managing to meet those gaping eyes.

“Th...thank you Shadow Weaver. For teaching me. For this lesson. I’ll...I’ll be better.”

“Indeed you will.”

The sorceress took off down the hall once more. Leaving Adora in the black cold hall. She watched Lonnie sleep until she too dozed off, curling up on the metal floor.

I’ll be better.

I’ll be better at protecting.

Protecting Lonnie….

Protecting Catra

---

“Thank you Shera, thank the stars!” Adora grinned awkwardly at the woman, helping her sister to wrap the elder in a blanket.

“We’ll be on Etheria soon.”

The woman nodded eagerly, but the exhaustion was not lost on Adora.

She parted ways with the family giving a nice pat on the shoulder and moving along down the rows of people now displaced from their town. The baby had finally gone back to sleep, after walking herself dizzy.

“Adora!” Glimmer’s sharp voice found her through the throngs of people.

“Glimmer hey! Sorry the baby took longer to get down than I thought.”

The queen smirked,

“They usually do. But you should go rest for the night you look beat. We can...we can talk infant stuff tomorrow before we land.”

“That’s okay!’ She waved Shera’s glowing, gauntlet hand. “I can do more! I haven’t finished passing out the blankets! And… and people are wanting to know where they can make a new home once on Etheria! That family over there…” she gestured to a family of five, “they lost their house and their shlooping business! We’ll need to help them get back on their feet! I need to find out what shlooping is!”

“Adora,” Glimmer  “it can wait. We have plenty of volunteers to help with supplies and there is a whole team already in Brightmoon working on helping people once they arrive. Please rest. You need to rest.”

She’s right. Once I transform back I’ll be exhausted, her mind whispered to her. She learned the hard way that while Shera could heal herself no problem, the Adora of afterward still felt fatigued and sore.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Glimmer gave her a grateful sigh. “Please go rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” Adora nodded, leaning down to give her friend a tight hug. One large hand rubbing her back.

“It’s been a hard day for you too! You should also rest! If you need me to be on flying duty so you an Bow can get some time together…”

“That’s what autopilot is for,” Glimmer gave her a knowing wink, slowly withdrawing from the embrace.

“Goodnight, Adora.”

“Goodnight Glimmer.”

---

Adora slipped into the room with practiced stealth, holding her breath at the sliding door as it closed. She turned, taking in her and Catra’s tiny room on the ship. A storage compartment, galley bathroom off the side one plain table where Adora placed her sword and one large cot. If by large you meant barely enough for two women. She sighed, breathing out the day, her body rippling with the transformation from glorious warrior woman to…

Just Adora.

She straightened, closing her eyes and rolled her neck through the dulling ache in her joints. It was inevitable now everything she changed back to herself. But it was worth it of course.

Adora changed, quiet as could be. Tip toeing around the confined space to pull off her jacket and into her simple nightwear, a white little gown that Bow got for her last New Moon Day. She let her hair fall down, cascading around her shoulders in straight blonde locks and edged towards the bed, smiling. Cramped as it was, the little room did offer a perfect view of the stars before them. The entire ceiling and one of the walls made of pure glass. The eternal stream of stars glistened against the purple black of the universe, bathing their room in a cool tranquil shade of deep indigo shadows.

Catra rustled from her place on the bed, eyes slits of glowing gold and blue in the night.

“Sorry! Did I wake you? I tried…”

Adora crouched over her, the woman only smiled sleepily shifting beneath her. Adora shivered feeling Catra’s tail wrap around her leg.

“Mmmm no love,” Catra rasped through half conscious daze. Adora couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat. Of course she treasured every moment with Catra but this….these sleepy half-awake moments might be her favorite.

She’s so soft when she’s sleepy.

Most people only knew Catra as prickly at best and outright aggressive at worst. Even towards Bow and Glimmer Catra retained her aloof pessimism but here, cloaked in darkness, she was always able to reveal the truer deeper parts of herself. A part of her only Adora was privy to. The Catra that purred, the Catra who sang to her, the Catra who could be so vulnerable and soft and even sometimes romantic. Only in the darkness, only in secret, only with her.

Been that way since we were kids. Just the two of us huddled up in my bunk terrified of being caught. Risking it all the same.

Of course except the night we did get caught….

Adora’s stomach tightened at the memory, her hands clutched at the sheets, she bit her lip.

You should’ve thrown the blanket over her, lay down on top of her the second you heard footsteps! You should’ve pushed her off like every other close call! If you’d been more alert Shadow Weaver wouldn’t have caught you. She would’ve dragged Catra by her hair to the Black Garnet Chamber and…

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

Catra’s low voice purred, carrying Adora from that terrible night. She obliged, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. Warm and smooth, her breath full and humming. Adora almost fell on top of her, though by the way she purred, it’s not like Catra would probably mind. Adora kissed her again, this time longer, running her fingers through the brunette’s hair.

“Mmm you smell nice, like Shera,” Catra murmured, planting more sweet delicate kisses on her lips.

“That’s why you married me isn’t it?” Adora whispered, returning her kisses. She let her hips drop lazily against Catra’s. Her wife let out a hitching gasp, one hand coming up to caress Adora’s cheek. She drew back only slightly, breath whispering across Adora’s lips.

“I married you for power. Being Shera’s wife? You can’t get any higher up then that.”

Adora giggled, her fingers carding through the messy brown hair towards Catra’s ears.

“Are you sure?” She teased, allowing her hips to roll over the other woman’s. The scratchy gray blanket easily gave with the weight and Adora raised her brow as Catra let out a loud satisfied humm, her heavy lidded eyes closing.

“Mmmsure.”

Adora’s smile widened,

I could watch her like this forever.

She kissed Catra once more, this time deeper, breathing her in. Tasting her.

Close your eyes, relax, un-tense your shoulders. Let this calm you. Let her make you happy just the way she is.

Adora sighed into another kiss, undulating her hips again. This pulling a husky moan from Catra who tightened her grip on Adora’s shoulders. Her claws retracted, thankfully.

“Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish,” Catra breathed, planting kisses all along Adora’s jaw.

“Oh I fully intend to. Finish that is. Get it?”

Catra rolled her eyes, but her back arched upward hips thrusting into Adora’s. She kissed her fervently, lips tracing over the mark of the Heart of Etheria. Adora groaned, inpatient. She carelessly tossed the flimsy blanket to the ground and leaned over Catra, her hair creating a golden curtain around  their faces. She thrust again, their hips bumping through thin nightclothes. The arm that wound through Catra’s hair now reached downward, running over the contours of her wife’s lithe sides, over her jut of her hip bones to the slight  bulge of her stomach and lower.

“A...Adora,” Catra whimpered, kissing at her neck her fingers clutching to Adora’s back.

“I….I...should go check on the baby,”

“What?” She felt Catra stiffen against her.

“I think I heard it crying,” Adora protested, withdrawing her hand from it’s position right above the line of her wife’s pajama pants.

“I have better hearing than you,” Catra grumbled, ears pinned backward to her skull. “I would know if it was crying. It’s not crying. Even if it is, who cares?”

“Who cares?” Adora cried, gaze turning fierce. “Catra it’s alone and abandoned on this ship with no family. No parents! What if it needs something? What if it’s in danger?”

“Who cares? I care! We’re all alone on this ship, finally! What if I need fucking, what if my labito is in danger?!”

“I….I just need to check real quick I promise!”

Catra changed tactics, sitting up and kissing at Adora’s chest, at her breasts through her slim nightgown. Hands coming up to rub circles over her sides.

“There are plenty of people on this ship,” Catra’s voice fell back to it’s lazy slow rasp. “Let Bow or Sparkles or any of the other princesses or volunteers take care of it.” She kissed Adora’s sternum, nibbling a little at the silk gown.

Glimmer and Bow probably moved it from the cockpit where I laid it down to sleep. Who knows where they put it? Bow wouldn’t endanger the baby. He’d put them somewhere safe. But where? It could be crying right now. From all the way across the ship tucked into some compartment? Even Catra’s hearing isn’t that good!

“We’ve been fighting and going for days. You’ve been taking care of all these people. Let me take care of you now okay?” Catra asked softly, she held Adora’s face with her hands, fingers carefully rubbing into her wife’s temples.

“I  just need to see the baby and make sure they are okay!”

Adora tossed her head from Catra’s grip.  

“Adora!”

Her pupils narrowed to tiny slits in the dark.

“No Catra. We found it, it’s our responsibility.”

“No it’s not! What are you….”

Adora jumped from the bed, getting her jacket.

“Adora it can wait! Please! There are other people who can…’

“No it can��t! I have to do this. Just...stay here!  I”ll be back soon. Then we can do whatever you want.”

Adora punched the door key, dashing down the dark corridor.

---

Catra bit her tail, stifling a sob.

Can’t wake Adora. Not again.

In a fog of half-consciousness the little magicat’s tears ran down her face. Her little bum ached against the shabby cot. Long worn from years of use and reuse. She shivered, her thin coat of fur doing little against the dank bone chill of the Fright Zone barracks.

She heaved for breath,

It was just a dream. A...a nightmare...it...it’s okay.

She let go of her tail, laying down carefully and stuffing her face into the fraying pillow. Her body trembled with chill, her head stuffy from sleepiness combined with her snotty cries. Her eyes burning.

Don’t wake Adora.

Shadow Weaver will get mad.

Go back to sleep.

Go back to sleep.

Her belly squirmed with hunger. That relentless pain, combined with her nightmare of Beast Island had awoken her.

Catra heaved for more air, choking through the wracking sobs. She kneaded at her own tummy.

Don’t cry. Hold your breath. Don’t cry! Don’t…

“Catra!”

“AAAAHmmmmph!”

The magicat’s alarmed scream cut short as a tendril of shadow magic sealed her lips shut.

“Do not wake the other cadets. Come with me.”

Catra let out a whimper, scaling down her bed. Adora slept soundly beneath her.

Good, she won’t wake up and try to be the hero.

The magicat followed Shadow Weaver from the sleeping quarters down the halls to the Black Garnet Chamber. Despite the spell, silent tears streamed from Catra’s eyes. Her fur bristling.

She’s going to hurt me, she’s going to hurt me. She heard me crying and she’s going to hurt me or say I can’t eat for another day.

No, no, no no, no no.

They stepped into the harrowed chamber, the door slamming shut.

“If I take that binding spell off of you will you continue your yapping?”

She shook her head furiously, gasping as the shadow removed itself from her mouth. She heaved for air, tears trickling.

“I said quiet!” Shadow Weaver snarled, seizing Catra’s skinny arm in a vice grip, forcing her to her knees.

“Why were you causing such a fuss?!”

Catra opened her mouth and let out a wail.

“Answer me!” Red electric magic pulsed in the sorceresses palm.

“I….I had a bad d...dream!” Catra managed through her tears. “I was on Beas...beast...beast...beast island and...the...there were phookas...and and and…”

The fingers around her wrist tightened, sharp nails digging in.

“Ow! I had a nightmare! And...and ...and I woke up...it was cold and dark! AndI was hungry and ...th...thirsty! I ...was thirst…”

The smack cracked, worse than magic across her face. The back of Shadow Weaver’s hand burning through her cheeks and over her nose in a swift sharp pain.

“Ahhhhhhh!!” Catra shrieked, hands flying to her face, covering her throbbing nose.

No blood...n...not this time…

“You were thirsty so you began to cry waking the others?”

“I didn’t!” Catra tried, little fists balling. How quickly hurt hardened to rage.

“You could have! Hear me now you little brat you are to keep silent. Especially at night. Some of the cadets among you have potential and they cannot achieve that if they do not get their rest. If you are restless and awake at night keep it to yourself.”

“I was thirsty and hungry!”

Shadow Weaver’s magic crackled close to Catra’s aching  face. Sending a fresh round of tears flooding her eyes. She pinched them shut, trying to keep them from leaking out into the sorceress’s view.

“Then starve! Do you think I care what happens to you at night or otherwise? You lost your meal privileges for keeping Adora from her chores. You will keep your needs and wants to yourself because they do not matter. This is an army not a nursery. Your malcontent is selfish and no one’s problem but your own. Be silent. Do you understand me?”

“Mhm,” Catra sniffled refusing to meet her gaze.

“Speak up you little wretch. Or I will make you speak.”

Panic fluttered through Catra’s heaving chest.

“N...no! I...I won’t I promise! I won’t cry at night. I’ll….I’ll be quiet...I’ll be good.”

The sorceress turned, casting a cold glare over her shoulder.

“We’ll see about that. Now get back to the barracks. And don’t even think about scratching the walls on your way. Or I’ll have you de-clawed again.”

Ice formed in Catra’s gut. She clutched her right hand to her chest, tucking it in so Shadow Weaver couldn’t see the still healing claws protruding at her fingertips. Her chest pricked with the agony of that particular ordeal.

“I...I won’t! I won’t!”

“Good. Then get out of my sight.”

Catra sprang forward, dashing on all fours out of the chamber. She hurried back to the barracks. Creeping quietly past the rows of bunk beds.

Good, Adora’s still asleep.

Catra noted the little blonde girl. She’d kicked her blankets off  in her slumber. The magicat climbed up to her bed, pushing her sore face into the scratchy pillow. Trying to calm herself.

“Pst, Catra. You awake?”

Oh no.

“I’m fine, Adora go back to bed!”

As usual her friend would not be deterred.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I thought I saw Shadow Weaver leave with you.”

“I’m fine idiot just go to sleep!”

Please, please go back to bed, she’ll hurt me again if you don’t keep quiet. please . Please just sleep.

“Catra are you really, really sure?”

The magicat didn’t answer again. Nor did she ever answer from then on whenever Adora climbed up to her bunk to ask if she was okay after another midnight beating. She learned how to lick her wounds in silence. Rub her tummy without scratching through her shirt, swallow her parched throat without coughing. Stealth was one of her more animalistic qualities by nature. From that night forward Catra learned to cry so no one, not even Adora could hear her.

---

The baby was safe.

Adora found them sleeping soundly where Glimmer had tucked them against one of the corners of the main sleeping areas. Swaddled in a lilac purple blanket. Adora crept among the sleeping refugees only to nearly sob in relief upon seeing the little thing. It’s lips sucked soundlessly for milk that wasn’t there. It’s tiny tail curled as much as it could around its stomach. Adora had undone the swaddle blanket, to redo it herself.

Glimmer might have tied it too tightly. Not that she can’t take care of babies, of course she can. But I better check, just to make sure they are comfortable.

Sure enough the little kitten did not make a peep.

Adora reached forward, holding them in her arms, tucking them against her chest. Unable to resist the urge.

They look like Catra when she was a kitten.

Adora recalled fondly. That day, in hindsight was one of the happiest days of her life. When a little box was brought to the nursery and inside huddled a very emaciated little kitten. Angry and hissing. So adorable.

But from day one Shadow Weaver hated her. I...I couldn’t stop that hurt. I couldn’t protect her.

“But I can protect you,” she whispered into one silken ear. “I’m going to take care of you.” She rocked the baby back and forth. Their small fresh breath tickling her chest. Their weight just right in her arms. Adora hummed gently, swaying and bobbing to soothe them.

“When we get back to Etheria I’m going to keep you..”

The magikit gurgled in response. It’s eyes opening a sliver of pale blue in the moonlight. Adora felt her heart melt. She gazed, smitten down at the perfect bundle. She kissed their cheek, infant fir still a fuzzy coating over their skin. Adora breathed it in, sighing.  There was nothing else in the universe at this moment. Nothing so absolutely perfect. Nothing so treasured as the kitten she held. Overwhelming, terrifying and all consuming with devotion.

I can do this. I can protect them. I can care for them. I can be there for them. Be what they need. And Catra, she’ll make a great mother too. She just needs to get used to it. This...this is something I can do. Not a battle for Shera to win. Something for me, Adora to do. Something I have to do and this time, I  finally want to do. 

Something glowed, Adora glanced down, mouth parting in astonishment. The Heart of Etheria still etched into her chest glowed with blue light.

She shivered, spine threatening to melt, the sensation of Finn’s  little fingers carefully grabbed at the mark as if to pull it from her skin. She watched their eyes widen in fascination, gleaming brilliant blue with the light. They flexed tiny fingers, pressing into her chest at the mark of the Heart.

Adora laughed, giddy, lifting them up over her face.   “I’m going take care of you Finn,” the name bubbling to the front of her mind as she kissed them all over.

“I promise.”

[catrasredemption-moved]

I’m not sure if you’ve touched on this before, so, if you have, please feel free to disregard this, but: I know a lot of people tend to attribute most if not all of Catra’s actions to her wanting to one-up Adora, which is obviously way oversimplifying things. Could you go into everything that was going through her head that caused her to pull the lever, specifically. And how do you think she’d feel about Angella’s death/do you think Glimmer could come to forgive her for her part in it?

Okay obviously everything is complicated about the portal, and I honestly don’t think one-upping Adora was even part of her thought process. I think it, once again, goes back to Shadow Weaver.

Capturing Adora in the Crimson Waste? That was definitely for shits and giggles and her own fun. She didn’t care about what Hordak was doing, or about the portal, until Adora said Shadow Weaver was in Bright Moon. That was when she decided to go back and help Hordak.

And then again in the Fright Zone, it was only after Shadow Weaver confronted and tortured her that she went over the edge. And there’s actually a lot of messed up stuff in that scene I want to address. First of all Shadow Weaver’s “we don’t have to be enemies” is fucking rich considering she manipulated Catra into helping her escape and then left her there to suffer the consequences. For all Catra needs to take responsibility for her own choices, she’s right - Shadow Weaver is the reason she turned out the way she did. Years of physical and mental abuse wore her down to this point, and now her abuser is working with the good guys and lecturing Catra about taking the higher road? That’s fucked up.

And yes, I know - “Catra did the same thing in No Princess Left Behind”, and yeah, she did, but Catra’s never claimed the moral high ground. She was with the Horde, the Horde does fucked up things, and frankly, any time Shadow Weaver spent hurting Glimmer was time she wasn’t torturing Catra. It’s not right, but at least her thought process is more or less linear. Bow and Glimmer, on the other hand, watched and actively helped Shadow Weaver nearly kill Catra, and they’re supposed to be the good guys. Remember Scorpia and Glimmer in season four?

“Catra... I know she’s done a lot of bad things, but please don’t hurt her.” “We’re the good guys, remember?”

We’re the good guys. As in “we don’t needlessly hurt people.” But isn’t that exactly what they let Shadow Weaver do? There were was absolutely no need for her to torture Catra and basically tell her “we’re going to destroy your home and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Bow only stepped in to stop her when he saw Glimmer hurting.

And I’m not saying they were right or wrong, but again, that’s pretty fucked up from Catra’s point of view, when the good guys are helping the woman who abused her for her entire life. And that broke her. Fuck the good guys, fuck their stupid world, it can all burn. Adora was a small factor, because letting her win meant letting her have the friends who stood back and watched Shadow Weaver almost kill her, and letting her have this world that’s screwed her over at every turn. Adora was part of all that, of course, but ultimately she ended up shouldering the burden of every person who drove to Catra to that breaking point.

re: Angella.... again, that’s complicated. She obviously regrets the portal, and having someone’s death on your shoulders is a lot, especially with everything else she has to deal with. And there’s no real way to fix it except to spend every day for the rest of her life proving she’s not that person anymore (or go with one of the many rescuing Angella fics because those are always fun!).

Glimmer... I think has forgiven in her a way. She recognizes that Catra isn’t the same person she used to be, and that being angry at her won’t do either of them any good - she already spent a long time angry about it and, surprise surprise, ended up in the exact same place Catra did. The only reason she got out alive was because Catra saved her - and no, it’s not a life for a life thing, but I think Glimmer is rational enough to realize that, whatever her motives were, Catra did save her at the cost of her own life. So Glimmer has two choices - she can keep being angry, or she can recognize that Catra now isn’t the same Catra who pulled the lever (which is a change Glimmer actually played a huge part in), and get to know this new person she inadvertently helped create.

(Because Glimmer’s role in Catra’s season five development is undeniable. They kept each other company on Horde Prime’s ship, saw new sides of one another, and Glimmer took a chance telling Catra to do one good thing in her life. If Glimmer hadn’t been there, there wouldn’t have really been any catalyst for Catra to change anything. Adora wouldn’t go to the ship with no reason, so there’d be no reason for Catra to sacrifice herself. She probably would’ve just ended up chipped or dead.)

There’s always going to be a part of Glimmer that remembers the role Catra played in her mother’s death (and I feel like it’s very important to remember that killing Angella was not what Catra set out to do - it wasn’t cold-blooded murder, it was a very bad consequence of a decision made by someone who had nothing left to lose), but at the end of the day, Glimmer is a good person, and Catra is someone she’s come to care about a lot. Is it complicated? Yes. But nothing worth having is ever easy.

I also feel like we should keep in mind that a lot of time passes between the portal and Glimmer starting to think of Catra as a friend. At least a year and some change (there are some theories that Catra and Glimmer were on Prime’s ship for a year. Idk if I really go for that, but I do think it was at least a month or two). It’s not like the portal happened and three days later Glimmer said “well you’re my friend now, all is forgotten!” 

[rex101111]

💍 - catradora

Adora’s day was...confusing. A real up and down and back again affair. It started out a bit trying, with her falling out of bed...on top of Catra who had also fallen out of bed earlier but was too tired to get back up and was very unhappy when Adora landed on her with all the grace of a Hoard battle ship running out of fuel mid-flight.

(Catra’s words and not Adora’s, obviously.)

Once they both calmed down and Catra sheepishly finished putting Band-Aids on the scratches she gave Adora in her sleep addled panic, the morning went on a bit better when Catra decided to make Adora breakfast. Insisted, even. 

She had roped Bow into teaching her how to make his dad’s pancakes, and claimed she had gotten pretty good at it. Catra showing interest in baking (as well as subjecting herself to Bow’s sometimes overly strict way of teaching) was surprising enough, what was even more surprising is that she had in fact gotten better at it.

Now, instead of her attempts producing a fire that nearly consumed half of Bright Moon, or unleashing a miasma of noxious pancake gas (nicknamed “Catrium Cyanide” by Entrapta), she simply presented Adora with a lump of...something that might have once been a pancake. If you tilted your head a certain way and squinted.

Since Adora loved Catra more than anything in the universe, and did not want to ruin that precious face of hope she sported, she did not divulge that opinion and instead stuffed her face full of the...pseudo-pancake lump with a smile. “Wow! It’s...really something!”

Catra took a bite herself and frowned, “nice try Adora, never thought I’d miss Hoard rations...”

“H-Hey, at least it’s better than the brown rations!”

“Adora, Swift Wind could make something better than the brown rations.”

A beat of silence passed and they laughed for a minute at the image, before they scrapped that attempt at breakfast and went on with their day.

 And the day just couldn’t seem to decide on whether or not it would be a good one; one second she and Catra were sparring in the training room, blows and parries thrown between flirtations, and then just as Adora had pinned Catra down and dove for her victory kiss a guard that was carrying a mop and bucket slipped and poured them both with muddy water.

Once they washed up they decided to walk in the gardens, holding hands in quiet compony in the early afternoon. They took a seat on a bunch flanked by two massive bushes sculpted to look like a soaring Pegasus, the sun shining in Catra’s eyes as she fumbled with something in her pocket. When she opened her mouth to say something when Perfuma called out of a sudden, having decided on a surprise visit to Bright Moon.

Adora talked with her for a while, side-eyeing Catra who fumbled with her pocket again and shock her head with a smile. 

That was how the rest of the day went, Catra would take Adora somewhere private, fumble with her pocket, and just as soon as she was about to say something someone would come out of nowhere to interrupt them. It kept happening all the way to dinner, Catra looking more and more morose as it did, with Adora unable to really talk to her about it before something else came up.

As they made their way to the dinner room, Adora put her arm around Catra’s waist and brought her flush with her, Adora enjoying the warmth of her girlfriend’s fur against her. “We’ll talk after dinner, okay?” She kissed the side of her head when Catra simply shrugged her shoulders, “hey, I promise, okay?”

It took a moment but Catra turned to her, kissed her lightly with a smile and said, “yeah, alright, it’s just...” Again, fumbling with her pocket, “...i-it’s something kinda...big.”

Hearing Catra stumble over her words was one thing, but Adora was completely stumped as to what the magicat would consider “big” enough to be this cagy about it.       

Deciding to let it go they went to dinner with Bow and Glimmer...and the rest of the princesses, who had also decided to show up for some odd reason, though the sight of them wasn’t unwelcome to Adora, having not seen them for a while on account of all the responsibilities they had in their own kingdoms.

Seeing the large crowd seemed to make Catra a bit green around the gills, but she seemed to quickly shake it off, the rest of dinner going off rather pleasantly. Adora caught up with the rest of her friends, but in the back of her head she couldn’t stop thinking about what Catra wanted to tell her.

Her wondering ceased when Glimmer got up and tapped her spoon to her glass (properly queen like, Adora was torn between crying and laughing, Angella would have been proud) to get everyone’s attention. 

“Everyone! Thank you all for coming here today,” Glimmer grabbed Bow’s hand as she directed a smile at all of her gathered friends, “it’s been three years since we finally brought peace to Etheria, and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate it than with all the people I love.”

Everyone gave a warm cheer at that, Seahawk being the loudest followed closely by Frosta and Scorpia.

“And...since we’re all here, there’s something I want to say...Bow.” Suddenly, Glimmer motioned for one of the guard to bring her something, a small box, which she then handed to the confused archer.

Adora was confused herself, though the rest of the table, a suddenly tense Catra included, seemed to understand right away what was happening.

“You’ve been with me...pretty much my whole life,” Glimmer’s smile was warm and her eyes shone with tears as she presented Bow with the small box, “through my victories, failures, tragedies...I can’t fathom living a single day with out you, so...” she opened the box, an inside was a small, silver ring adorned with a gleaming pink and white jewel. “...will you marry me?”

A tense moment passed before Bow gathered Glimmer in his arms and kissed her, followed by the whole room bursting into loud applause and cheers. The room mobbed the newly made fiancés, and Adora was going to join them when she noticed the chair next to her was empty.

Giving a quick apology to her friends, Adora went out to search for her. Thanks to years of experience of hunting down upset magicats in the labyrinth that was the Fright Zone, it didn’t take her long to find Catra sitting on a balcony, staring out at the moon.

“Catra?” She called out carefully, not really knowing what was going through her partner’s mind and not wanting to scare her. “Is everything okay? You just disappeared.”

“I’m fine.” The dismissal was quick and sharp, a shadow of who Catra used to be before she got ahold of herself, before she let out a frustrated breath, “...sorry, just...it’s nothing.”

“No. it’s not.” Adora placed herself next to Catra, reaching out an arm to rub her shoulder, “you’ve been trying to tell me something all day, and then after Glimmer proposes you just run off? Catra what’s eating you?”

“What’s eating me?” She snapped, glaring out at the far distance instead of Adora, though she was starting to snarl. “I have this big stupid day planned, I practice for weeks, and then her majesty just-!” 

Adora was just getting more confused, “Catra-?”

Another frustrated growl left the magicat, who shoved a hand into the pocket she was fidgeting with all day and pulled out a...box. 

A small, brown box.

Like the one-

Before she could contemplate it further, Catra shoved it at her, nearly knocking her over, “here! Take it!” She buried her face in her knees with a tired huff, “today’s busted anyways, might as well just ...”

“Catra...this is beautiful...” Adora could only stare in amazement at the ring Catra gave her, a golden band with wing-like embellishments that resembled her sword’s hilt, with a blue gem standing proud in the middle. “Where...where did you get this...”

Catra looked at her for a moment, a bit surprised, before she blushed and scratched her nose, “Bows...Bows dads helped me look for stuff in a First One’s ruin. Found the jewel there, made sure it wasn’t anything crazy or whatever, and got Entrapta to make the band so...” she shrugged, “y’know, no big deal.”

“Yes big deal!” She gave Catra a playful punch on the arm, wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, “you were trying to ask me to marry you all day!” She couldn’t stop grinning, her face was starting to hurt but she didn’t care. “How is that not a big deal!?”

“Because the whole day went to shit!” Catra jumped to her feet, “I planned it all out, but it went to shit! Wake you up with a kiss, but I fall out of bed like a moron! Make you breakfast, and it’s not fit for that stupid horse of yours! Walk in the park, and the whole of fucking Etheria decides to show up!” She rubs her face in despair, “and just when I think the day couldn’t get any shittier, Sparkles decides to steal my idea! Wonderful!”

After letting out a breath, Catra collapsed back on her seat and leaned against Adora, “...today was supposed to be perfect, I messed up...so much, and you deserve something going right...I wanted to give you a perfect day Adora, that’s the least I owe you after...everything I did.”

Adora put the box with the ring aside for a moment, and placed Catra’s face in her hands, “Catra...c’mon, you should know by now you don’t owe me anything,” Catra opened her mouth to protest but Adora stopped her with a kiss on the nose. “You don’t, and we both messed up plenty so there’s no point in sorting out who owes what anyway.” Another protest, this time stopped with a kiss on the forehead. “Also, today may not have been perfect...but it was a day I spent with you, so no matter what I still had a good one.”

Catra let out a scoff, “so cheesy...”, but her cheeks were dusted pink.

“Says the one who planned to propose today.” she grinned as Catra giggled quietly, reaching for the box at her side and handing it back to her love. “Speaking of...”

Catra fumbled with the box for a moment, “...just...just like this?”

“Just like this.” Adora nodded, “just like this, or any other way, would make today perfect.”

Catra looked into Adora’s eyes, took a breath, and stepped from the balcony they were sitting on to kneel nearby, offering the open box and her heart to Adora, “...Adora.” Her voice was quiet, but warm as a spring breeze, “I love you more than anything, I nearly lost you a million times because I was angry, or scared, or selfish...I never want that to happen again, you made me a promise that you would stay with me forever...so now, I want to make you a promise too.”

Catra took the ring out, Adora reaching her hand as the ring was slipped on,

“I promise to always have my heart open to you, I promise to trust you when you say you love me, I promise...I promise to stay, to stay always, so...” Catra swallowed a lump in her throat, “will...will you marry me?”

“Yes.” The answer was swift and sure, tears falling without restraint from her as she smiled and fell in love all over again, “I will, yes.” 

She pulled Catra into a hug, and the two kissed passionately under the stars, Catra’s tail wrapping around her leg.

After a while they separated, and Adora laughed, “hey, maybe we can have a double wedding with Bow and Glimmer?”

“Oh hell no.”

“Why not?’

“Because Rainbow will want to have a matching suit with me, and I would rather brush my teeth with the horse’s breakfast hay than wear a pink and purple suit.”

“Oh come on he wouldn’t-wait, what makes you think that you’d be wearing the suit?”

“Oh, I dunno, the metric ton of drool you make every princess prom when you see me?”

“...Touché...” 

And so it went like that, the two laughing their joy the the cold and calm night, hand in hand and heart in heart.

[moderndaygaang]

tagged by @praetorqueenreyna woohooooooo

To see the fics I’m talking about, here’s my ao3 ! (I’m including a WIP or two in this that i am THIS CLOSE to being done with and plan on posting before the year is out and I don’t have much else 🤷‍♀️)

Which Of Your Fics...

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: HONESTLY I was expecting “Hit And Run” to get more hits. It got way more genuine love in the comments than I ever expected from the people who did read it (including so many writers I admire *swoon*) so who cares, truly! I just forget how few people actually ship zutaraang.

Is your funniest: i actually think my korrasami WIP is very funny but that’s because i think Korra has a good sense of humor and her banter with Bolin is like the first half of the fic lmao. Out of my published stuff I would say “Better Left Unsaid” is more consistently funny throughout, but i did actually laugh out loud writing “Hit And Run” because of the ending!

Is your darkest/angstiest: none of my published/complete work because it’s not quite my style, but I have a Rangshi WIP that will be posted soon that is quite angsty and depressing feat. What if Rangi and Kyoshi didn’t get together and Rangi fucked with Kyoshi’s emotions because of her internalized homophobia ???? why am i writing it? Good question.

Is your absolute favorite: i love all my children equally i refuse to answer this (i actually just can’t decide)

Is your least favorite: mmm probably my most recent one “watch it spin”, which is actually not ATLA but a SPOP fic focused on Catra and Perfuma becoming friends (a big hc of mine) and getting high together (based off some funny fan art). I only say it’s my least fave because it’s not my best work, but it is very niche and self-indulgent and I’m glad it’s in the universe for my own sake!

Was the easiest to write: “Better Left Unsaid”! That one only took a couple of hours. Started as just a warm up for something else and then I was like ‘oh this is cute’ :)

Was the hardest to write: “Wanna Follow Your Voice...”! It was the first fic I had written in YEARS, first for ATLA, and I had never done anything with chapters before. I spent a lot of time on it! Just figuring out the pacing and the events I wanted to include and trying to maintain a consistent tone over time was not easy.

Has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph (share it): gosh this is so hard!!!! I have favorites from all of them. I really was proud of how in “Wanna Follow Your Voice” zuko connects flashes from his dreams to his actual interactions with Aang (too much to share here). But have this bit from “Hit And Run” because it’s peak romcom imo —

Before even Aang can react, heat bursts from Zuko’s finger tips, lighting the poor, unassuming bartender’s beard on fire.

“Shit,” Zuko mutters, and jumps up. The bartender is screaming now, haplessly batting at his own chest to try and stop the flames from spreading.

Katara reacts in time with Zuko, pulling him towards the door while the other customers around him clamor to help the bartender, Rin and Aang included.

Zuko takes the opportunity to grab Aang’s wrist, dragging him away from the scene.

Luckily, no one realized where the flame came from, so their timely exit goes unnoticed. By the time Rin stops and looks for ‘Lee’, they’re already out the door and scaling the building next door to get out of sight.

When they reach the rooftop, they all collapse on their backs and catch their breath. Aang pulls off his bandana and wipes it across his brow.

“Well that’s one way to claim your territory,” Aang grinned. The three of them burst out laughing simultaneously.

When their laughter settles, Katara shoves Aang’s shoulder.

“Hey, you’re a little too good at charming the pants off of our enemies. Tone it down a notch next time.”

“I can’t help that the people love me.” He throws his hands up in resignation, drawing out another laugh from Zuko and Katara.

“I have to say Zuko,” Aang starts as he sits up, leaning back on his hands. “You must really love me if you’re willing to set someone on fire out of jealousy.”

Zuko covers his face with his hands, and an embarrassed groan pushes past his lips before he can stop it. “I didn’t mean to set anyone on fire!” he exclaims.

Have you reread the most: “hit and run” but only because people left the most kind and detailed comments about stuff that I genuinely forgot I put in there so I would go back to refresh my own memory LOL

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: “Better Left Unsaid”, most likely. It’s short and simple, lighthearted, not too shippy, but still captures my writing style well I think.

Are you most proud of: mmmm “Hit And Run” because I really like the way it turned out. It required the most ‘world building’ (so to speak) which is really not something I feel confident doing, but I think I did well with it! Plus it has an OC who I actually loved creating and would totally write about again.

So fun. Gunna tag @kuchee @jaystrifes and @flerkenkiddingme to do this ♥️🥰

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2019

1. these roads will take you into your own country by @notbecauseofvictories | American Gods | Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney | WIP | 33k

Here’s a joke for you: a Muslim, a zombie, and a leprechaun walk into a bar in Misery, Indiana. No one stares, because no one in the puckered, shitty asshole of Misery, Indiana gives a fuck. The Colts are playing.

Heather Says: So. It’s funny that another of @notbecauseofvictories‘s stories is at the top of my list again this year. Keep in mind this list is sorted by when the fic was read rather than favorites (because that would get real complicated real quick). Clearly there must be something about January. There’s just something about the writing that is easy to slip into, be it a Star Wars fic or a Labyrinth fic or even a fic about Johnny and the Devil. This was lovely and I can’t wait until it’s finished.

2. eighteen wheels on an uphill climb by @honkforhankcon | Detroit: Become Human | Hank/Connor | 91k

Hank is going to die. He’s going to die right here in Kentucky, 53 years old, halfway to broke, and tragically sober. Survived only by a nine-year-old St. Bernard and the 31-year-old twink who delivered the fatal blow.

Heather Says: I don’t think that this is the first DBH fic that I sought out after beating the game, but it is the first that I loved enough to make it to this list. I didn’t think that I would go for a modern au for this fandom, certainly not a modern au wihere Hank is a truck driver and Connor is a sex worker (albeit briefly?) but here I am.

3. Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk | Detroit: Become Human | RK900/Gavin Reed | 41k

After the android uprising, Connor becomes a permanent fixture in the DPD. That’s fine. Gavin can accept that. The dipshit’s more human than he used to be, and a decent detective to boot. Gavin can deal with him being around. What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; two inches taller, blue-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.

Heather Says: I also never thought that I’d like a fic with Gavin in it. But I got curious about all the Reed900, and well, this fic really won me over. The writing is fantastic, and it softens Gavin while still keeping him believable. Also, well, I like the enemies to lovers thing.

4. Almost Cool by @blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 30k

While filming the Yuma Territorial Prison episode, Shane gets bitten by what he thinks is a bat. Spoiler alert: it's not.

Heather Says: This is actually the first thing that I read for this fandom. In fact, this is the fic that got me into Buzzfeed Unsolved in the first place. I’d seen a lot of art and gifs and fics pass my way, but I was only ever slightly interested in what I saw until this fic came through my inbox and piqued my curiosity. 

5. Pride by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne/Cersei | 22k

Jaime didn’t understand why Cersei suddenly insisted on trimming his hair and shaving his beard, but he also didn’t care to fight her on it, even though he’d just as soon have kept the beard: it was bitterly cold in the small tower room with its arrow-slits. 

Heather Says: Wowza. This fic was intense. I’ve always loved Jaime and Brienne. I’ve loved them since the second book, which was read at least a few years before I started loving them in the show. Adding Cersei to their dynamic would have probably been almost impossible to pull off if it was anyone else, but @astolat lives to surpass my expectations.

6. Skin and Scales by Ernmark | The Penumbra Podcast | Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla | 18k

The man glares, and this time, Damien is certain it isn’t a trick of the light: those eyes are violet as amethyst. He wears disdain like a second skin–- or, perhaps, like the scales that he is missing. “Lord Arum?”

Heather Says: I was one of those people who skipped through all of the Second Citadel episodes during my first listen through of Penumbra. The stories were good, but the pull of Juno was too great. A couple months after I finished, I went back and listened to everything I didn’t. And let me tell you. Lizard monster. Honorable knight. Bookish girlfriend. Poly. It hit every single button I had and then some. This fic really hit the spot when I ran out of story.

7. someone you like by caela | She-Ra | Adora/Catra | 5k

catwithabat u think ur so hipster but u just look like a lesbian 27m she_ra @catwithabat bc… i’m a lesbian. lmao 5m

Heather Says: Noooot usually a big fan of high school fics. Namely because I’m not in high school anymore and well, after you read so many in your teenage years they sort of lose their luster. This one was phenomenal enough to change my mind.

8. Sands of Time by @tirsynni | Legend of Zelda | Ganondorf/Link | WIP | 98k

Link awakens in the desert with no idea how he got there, to encounter his worst enemy...except it was the King of the Gerudo, not the King of Evil, he faced.

Heather Says: I have seen a lot of really good Link/Ganondorf art over the years, but never really stumbled across a fic that didn’t have judicious amount of non-con involved. But the Breath of the Wild 2 trailer happened, and everybody started drawing really pretty art, so I went looking. And lo and behold, @tirsynni saved the day with this gorgeous time travel/fix-it fic. 

9. killed with kindness by veterization | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 52k

Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend. (Or: the one where the Phantom Thieves decide to know thy enemy, befriend thy enemy, love thy enemy, crush on thy enemy).

Heather Says: I’ve read a couple of veterization’s fics over the years, and to date they have never disappointed me. They published this in June, and I think I clicked on it mostly because I was bored and hadn’t read any good P5 fic yet. This was basically just what the doctor ordered, and I was really happy to find something where Akechi’s story went ever so slightly different.

10. paper thin by @ebonybow | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k

Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

Heather Says: So I went into this one knowing very little about how Sara fit into things. I didn’t know she was Shane’s girlfriend. I’d never even seen her, but I clicked because I like poly and I trust the author. I was 100% not disappointed. There’s also another fic with a very similar dynamic here, which is also aces.

11. damn.nation, now available on itunes by @kaikamahine | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 11k

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Heather Says: Elizabeth may have only written one fic this year, but she made it a damn good one. I’ve always loved her OCs especially, so I was pretty tickled that this is 10k+ of outsider pov. Also, demons! Demons are great! This demon is great! I want like 9 seasons and a movie about Amphora, just saying.

12. The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Jon/Sansa/Daenarys | 60k

When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Heather Says: What do you mean season 8 didn’t exist and the show totally ended with a three way relationship between the two most powerful women in Westeros and Jon Snow? Never been a big fan of Jon/Sansa before this, but this is another of those writers that I would literally trust if they wrote a fic about a fork and a spoon.

13. never tell me the odds by @wildehacked | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 9k

“I tried Star Wars," he says, adjusting the phone under his neck, "and it was way underwhelming.”

A shaky breath from her end. “Well, where did you start?”

Heather Says: I don’t remember which of @wildehacked‘s fandoms I started reading first. Most recently it’s been The Magnus Archives (more on this later). The point is, they’d written Wolf 359 fic and it had Hera and Eiffel and it was literally everything that I’ve been looking for since the series ended.

14. Find Me Somebody by raiining | Good Omens | Warlock/Adam Young | 11k

“You left me,” he said. “You both left me, for him. And I can’t even blame you, because I’d have left me for him too.”

Heather Says: There was an Art. The art was lovely. So I went looking, because that’s what I do when faced with beautiful art depicting a rare pairing. And I found the holy grail. Like, possibly my favorite Good Omens fic? Ever? 

15. flirting with fire by @brawlite | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | WIP | 7k

Steve's a cop, Billy's a firefighter. It's not a grudge, it's just a regular old small town rivalry.

Heather Says: Okay so brawlite has written a lot of great stuff this year (more on that later), but I read this in bed at the beach house this August while I was reeling from both a horrible sunburn and like seven hours of mild to moderate day-drinking while everyone else was still throwing back shots right outside my bedroom door. Jaws was playing on the tv and I wasn’t even paying attention to it, because THIS. Long story short, I’ve been thirsty for more ever since.

16. gold, when you find me by mmtion | The Flash | Iris/Barry | 53k

It's not that Iris hates The Flash, per say - more that she hates writing about The Streak in a weekly, pun-heavy comic based on The Flash.

Heather Says: I never would have thought that a canon pairing would make it to my Top 25 list, but here we are. I like Iris/Barry a lot better when they don’t grow up together and spend a lot of time playing the Superman game, apparently. Also, this was really well-written, and sexual tension has never been something I’ve felt from Barry and Iris, but I felt it in this fic. Just. Damn.

17. never gets old by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger| Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 78k

Falling in love with a cam boy named KingSteve isn't the smartest thing Billy Hargrove has ever done, nor is it the most healthy -- but the good choice is rarely ever the fun choice, and Billy is all about living life fast and loose.

Heather Says: Told you I’d come back to it. brawlite and toastranger are a fantastic team. last year was cherry pie and under the covers, this year it’s camboys and cop/firefighter dynamics. Also, I have a really strange fascination with fics where a character has an instragram. It’s really, incredibly strange. Also also, every time I see this fic title I get that one Discovery Channel song stuck in my head. And no, it probably isn’t the one you’re thinking.

18. ways to save the world by @wildehacked | The Magnus Archives | Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims | 19k

“I left you,” Martin says softly.

Heather Says: And we’re back at wildehacked too! The Magnus Archives was a thing that happened to me. This is I think the first fic I read for it while listening, and it was so very close to what we got in canon. I think when it comes down to it though, I still prefer this fic, even if the ending of this season was pretty fantastic.

19. The Denial Twist by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 35k

“This is kind of surreal,” Shane says, taking a sip of his tea. It’s piping hot and delicious, except it tastes like hot chocolate and not like tea at all. “Sort of—Wonka-esque, right? Or Alice in Wonderland.”

Heather Says: While the vampire one is my favorite both because it is excellent and because it was my first, this one was bizarre and sexy and also I read it like only a month or so ago! The dancing was my favorite part, but having dreams to work with made this story fantastically interesting and I loved every second of it.

20. silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 4k

The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. There were a number of them, all the same shade, following one after the other around her left wrist. They were pale as old scars, though they felt no different from the rest of her skin, and her mother claimed that Miryem had been born with them.

Heather Says: I really like soulmate aus. There’s so many different ways to twist them and the way they can sometimes change the dynamic entirely and other times not change them at all is just fascinating. I’ve been hoping there would be more Spinning Silver content on ao3 and running into this while I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for yuletide was a real treat.

21. you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k

Costis has a particularly enlightening evening. (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

Heather Says: I accidentally re-read the King of Attolia and it made me consider ships I had perhaps not previously considered. This was really lovely and just steamy enough.

22. something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 21k

It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Heather Says: I want to only type the words AGONIZED NOISES to describe this fic because that’s basically my headspace when I get 21k of a shiny new ot3, but I mean. Really. This is super good and maybe my favorite yet? Why didn’t I start reading this fandom when I first read the books?

23. Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k

The dragon chooses, Mark knows that as well as any boy born in a weyr. He'd never considered what that would mean if the dragon picked someone you hated. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

Heather Says: This should actually be somewhere back in March, but I apparently closed out of the tab at some point. I never really got into Pern much. I have the first three books, but got most of the way through the first one a long time ago and then never picked it back up. I didn’t think I would like this, mostly because of the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the books, but was surprised to find that I absolutely loved it.

24. Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | Lila/Kell/Holland | 9k

Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

Heather Says: I love the new things I’ve discovered during my yuletide trompings. I don’t think I ever actually considered this pairing when I first read the books, but I am just so enamored with the idea of the three of them together. Like, why did I not realize that potential back then? This was lovely, and I loved it, and I want so much more out of this pairing than what ao3 has to offer me.

25. Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Gen & Costis | 13k

Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

Heather Says: Technically this shouldn’t be on here because I only read it today, but it was really wonderful and so canon typical. Gen and Costis were perfect in it, Irene was perfect in it. Everyone was perfect and nothing hurts.

[takerfoxx]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 3, Episode 5, First Impressions!

...I need to sit down.

Okay, show of hands: which one of you motherfuckers has been snickering into your hands, just waiting for me to reach this episode? C’mon, be honest.

Because while I got a lot of my predictions right, I, uh, definitely didn’t see this coming.

Well then.

Let’s talk about it.

When Catra threw the switch, reality collapsed in on itself as expected, but not before reforming itself.

According to what Catra wanted.

And as it turns out, Catra never wanted power. She never wanted to rule. She didn’t even want to be Force Captain. All she wanted was an idealized version of the life she already had, one where Adora never left her and Shadow Weaver treated them both with kindness. She was perfectly fine staying Adora’s sidekick so long as the few people in her life that meant anything to her treated her well. 

Be still, my heart.

From there, things progress as you’d expect. In fact, the glue comes undone in Catra’s fantasy world pretty quickly, with Adora being the POV. Memories flash in and out, time jumps around, and things start to dissolve. I like how Scorpia was the second one to notice that something was off, mainly through having an instinctive dislike of Adora. And when Scorpia immediately dislikes anyone, you know that something is wrong. Also, more Lonnie is always appreciated. And of course even in Catra’s ideal world, Kyle takes the fall for everything.

You know, I didn’t say anything earlier, but I was wondering why it had been so long since we had seen Madam Razz. I’m guessing that whatever it was that Mara had done to put Etheria in its pocket dimension, it had made Madam Razz a little disconnected from the flow of time. That would explain why she keeps mistaking Adora for someone who’s been gone hundreds of years and claims that she just saw her yesterday. I hope we learn more about her in the future.

But okay, let’s get to the meat of things. Now, I’ve pointed out that while Adora does still have feelings for Catra, their little...thing they’ve got going has been pretty one-sided. But this shows that Adora really does still care about her former best friend, and is the most we’ve seen her honestly trying to save her. Unfortunately, whether consciously or unconsciously, Catra just can’t let Adora take her away. She still wants Adora, but it has to be on her terms, because leaving the Horde would be admitting defeat or something, because pride something something. Also, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between Catra letting go of the ledge here and her letting go back in Princess Prom. The only difference is that here, she didn’t know that she would survive.

And survive she did. I’m sorry, but what the fuck is she turning into? It’s like she’s bonded with the decaying reality itself!

I’ll admit, I have no concrete theories about what “back to the beginning” means. The beginning of her life in the Horde? When she found the sword? Or are we going to meet Mara herself? Regardless, there is only one episode left, and then I join everyone else in the Long Wait.

[beelzzzebub-blog]

* GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  MUN :

NAME : Katie

NICKNAME : I’ve had a lot of those. Kate, Kat (it was A DARK TIME), Lila, but I’ve just hunkered down and accepted Katie.

FACECLAIM :  Emma Stone!

PRONOUNS :   she / her

HEIGHT : 5′5

BIRTHDAY :  March 29th

AESTHETIC :   old books on dusty shelves, gothic victorian decor, lace, long, dark red nails, antique-y jewelry, teacups, sharp winged eyeliner, autumn leaves, old daggers that are probably cursed...

LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO :  "Say It” Maggie Rogers

FAVORITE  MUSE (S)  YOU’VE  WRITTEN : Goodness me... I have to be biased about some of it and mention two of my novel characters being very fun to write, but as far as muses I’ve RPed with... Beelzebub jumped up there really quick, like, I did not expect them to. Honestly. This was kind of a “I just moved and I’m bored” account that turned into “I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE HELLO NEW FRIENDS” account. Crowley is one I’ll write outside of Tumblr and I have a blast writing because I AM the Crowley in my relationship AND friend group, so figure that one out... ummm. Catra from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power definitely ranks, Lila Bard (from Shades of Magic series by V.E. Schwab) is a fave to write AND cosplay, aside from that, I have more OCs than anything, but Beelzebub is the first canon character I’ve brought to Tumblr in YEARS.

* GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  ACCOUNT :

WHAT  INSPIRED  YOU  TO  TAKE  ON  THIS  MUSE : Okay. Buckle up. I accidentally got on the Ineffable Bureaucracy train one night, and that started my interest in Beelzebub. Secondly, realizing that Beelzebub had been cast as NON-BINARY FEMALE PRESENTING was so fucking cool, like, YES please. My NB friends and I kind of watched the drama about pronouns unfold on Tumblr, and I was like, “Well, I’m gonna stay away from that part of the fandom,” (even though I didn’t) when I was talking with one about the aspects of non-binary and genderfluid and mentioned Bee deciding to go by female pronouns for a century or so, and a face claim change. My friend was really informative about it and said as long as I was respectful, no one would get mad about it. 

All right, I left it there.

Then I started writing Bee with my boyfriend. Then I started shipping Bee with Dagon. Then I started coming up with my own headcanons. Then I dug through my research for my final paper of grad school (I had to do a lot of demonic digging) and pulled in some theology. Then I just... figured I’d try it out. And it’s working so well, and I really, really am attached to my Bee. So much.

WHAT  ARE  YOUR  FAVORITE  ASPECTS  OF  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE : There’s a bit of freedom that comes with writing a character that wasn’t very noteworthy in the novel, and didn’t have enough screen time to be fleshed out in the series. We got a gist of who Beelzebub was, and I wanted more than that, so I like being able to add my own headcanons or adopt others’, and being able to kind of turn the character into something else while still being true to the title they carry and their place in the canon, like, walking that thing tightrope line? It’s a chance to be creative, and you guys don’t want me to start going off on how important creativity is.

WHAT’S  YOUR  BIGGEST  INSPIRATION  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  WRITING : The canon is the beginning of it. The characters, the world, the opportunities available when choosing the character you’re going to write. It’s different for novel inspiration, but I digress, this is about RP. Anyway, I’m a huge geek - I have an M.A. in English, and history was always my second favorite subject. Being able to look back at my Elizabethan Literature and History course and pull things from books I purchased out of interest for that class to learn about this character and their role in history and theology, and write out Beelzebub’s interactions with OCs and canon characters using Good Omens as a backdrop... long story short, there’s inspiration in freedom and knowledge, for me. And love -- I do looooove myself some good shippy threads. 

FAVORITE  TYPES  OF  THREADS :  Story-type. It doesn’t have to be more than a paragraph sometimes, just something that’s going to tell a story, beginning, middle, and maybe without an end, but it was plotted out a little bit. As far as genre of threads, I’m a slut for ships, but I REALLY love drama/angst (if it includes my character being harmed and then saved I’m WEAK), and also the occasional just “let’s cause some trouble.” 

BIGGEST  STRUGGLE  IN  REGARDS  TO  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE: I’m iffy on using my gifs and icons because I’m running out of appropriate ones, but that’s more of a graphic design thing. I found it was hard to keep Beelzebub in threads where they were manipulative or actually harming someone -- it came to me after about a week of having the blog, but I wanted to form pasts and relationships for them before I did much else, it seems. I also struggle with being accepted -- I’ll worry, but it usually flits away pretty quickly because I have the COOLEST partners on this blog. It’s the best RP Tumblr I’ve ever had.

TAGGED BY : @hellsrhapsody (thank u Scotty m’dear! <3 )

TAGGING: @filelcrd @talesofgoreandmystery @excidistisgratia @hasteur @wingsandpages @wingsofstars @beautyxcfxgcd   - & anyone who wants to do this!

[danguy96]

Honestly, It shouldn’t be that hard to make to make a reboot of She-Ra that’s improves upon the original, because, as someone who didn’t grow up on the original He-Man and She-Ra, but does know people who have seen it (though, some didn’t grow up on it during it’s original run), and as someone who has seen a few episodes of the original shows, I think most of us can agree that the show does show sign of age, considering it was made during a time when a lot of animated shows weren’t given as big a budget as they get now, and those shows, along with most of Filmation’s library, are now considered to be peak 80s cheese (remember when the Spirit of Christmas briefly changed Skeletor’s usually evil self to help save some kids?).

Hell, I wouldn’t having some more openly gay or bi characters in the show, given how, according to one of the the voice actresses for the original He-Man and She-Ra (who herself came out as being gay in 2007), Filmation was “one of the gayest places in town”, and it’d be nice homage to LGBT people who worked there.

However, with the Netflix show, for how much the staff show brags about it, most of the show feels half-assed, from animation to representation, and is just so damn dull (even with how poorly the animation and the story-telling aged in the original show, at least it wasn’t dull, and you could still have a fun time in spite of how ridiculous it is). 

With the animation, most of the background look more like matte paintings with the characters sticking out like sore thumbs, and it feels like every other shot some character is going off-model or being put in some weird angle (for example, Adora’s She-Ra form is supposed to be around 7 ft. tall or so, according to the characters, but she’s sometimes just as tall as everyone else around her, and it also seems like animators like animators don’t seem to know what design they want for the heart on Bow’s armor, because it keep changing size every other scene).

As for representation, I gotta say, speaking someone who is bi, it’s pretty piss-poor. The first two characters confirmed to be in a same-sex relationship are treated as literal jokes and aren’t even given proper dialogue until the last few episodes of the season, and another confirmed f/f couple isn’t even shown on-screen, and Catra, who’s implied to have feelings for Adora here, just comes off more as a creepy stalker in a one-sided relationship. Plus, all the other “representation” are just in small parts in the background shots. Also, it’s not really good when it comes to other forms of “representation”, either, considering they redesigned Glimmer to be a bit more “curvy”, but sometimes the animation makes it like she’s much thinner than her regular design makes her out to be (for example, when they’re disguised as Horde Soldiers and when she’s in this sauna-like place, she appears thinner), and Spinnerella looks like they tried to make a “plus-suzed” character, but it seems like they gave up at around her neck, unintentionally making it look like she’s in a cheap fat-suit (plus, she’s part of the f/f couple I mentioned who don’t even get any real lines until near the end of the season, so there’s another botched attempt at being “inclusive”).

It’s one thing to make a show that’s not good. It’s one thing to have animation which  goes off-model and feels flat. It’s one thing to make a show which claims to be “progressive”, when really, you’re just shoving in tokenism and/or making some the LGBT characters stalkers, and then calling it a day. It’s also one thing if you’re does all of the above. However, it’s an entirely different thing to make cartoon that’s just, so abso-fucking-lutely dull, that it doesn’t matter if it has those any of previous flaws, because it bores you to sleep before you can notice any of those things.

On a final note, I don’t even think this was even the right time to make this show, considering that, due to some weird copyright and ownership issues, Dreamworks currently can’t even use characters from He-Man in the show, or even certain characters from the original She-Ra show and toyline (outside of Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Catra, Scorpina, Imp, and Entrapta, the only other villain in She-Ra’s rogues gallery who make an appearance is Grizzlor, and he’s only named in the credits and appears only briefly near the end of one episode).

Man, these things end up being longer than I always intend.