#someday i'll gif these great moments

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

personal confessions. [2/3] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you met to celebrate, but your conversation took a dangerous turn

Warnings:  (+18) smut, some understatements, a few curses, oral sex (m receiving), some kissing, a little bit of angst and fluff, , Sarah mentioned, Tommy is there too

A/N: it took me some time. i'm not completely satisfied, because the last few days have been quite difficult for me mentally. but i created something like this.

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

[part 1]

"Good morning, ma'am!"

You looked up from your computer and into Tommy's smiling face.

"I see you had a good weekend." You replied, following with your eyes as the man went to the kitchenette to make himself some coffee.

"Yep, definitely!" he replied, sticking his head out and grinning at you. "And you?"

"Rather boring."

Tommy leaned against the door frame and looked at you with a wary gaze. He was completely different from his older brother. You had worked together for a long time, you were used to his style of being and his jokes really amused you, although Joel usually rolled his eyes at him then. But the atmosphere between you was really good, so working for Millers was a pleasure for you.

"Sorry, honey, but you looked like a million bucks last Friday. How on earth did you not manage to pick up anyone?" he asked, lifting the cup of coffee to his lips "If you'd let me..."

The door suddenly slammed and Joel entered, carrying a stack of invoices that he immediately placed on your desk.

"You've already had your coffee." he muttered, glancing at his brother.

"But I haven't had such nice company." Tommy nodded in your direction "Joel, can you imagine, she didn't pick up anyone on Friday? You saw how good she looked. How is that possible?"

"Tommy, please." You groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

"It's none of our business." Joel replied, but he only gave you a quick glance "Besides, she has someone, right?"

Your eyes met for a moment. You hadn't had any contact with him since Friday.

What were you supposed to tell him? You'd been thinking about what had happened between you all weekend, and your pussy was clenching at the mere memory of his fingers inside you. Damn, it hasn't been easy.

"But..."

"Tommy, we really don't have time for this now. We have to go to a client." Joel interrupted him nervously and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "He's already called me twice."

"A package arrived for you. The courier brought it first thing in the morning." You mumbled, pointing to the box standing by the window.

"Great! I'll take it, and you, Tommy, finish your fucking coffee and get down to the car. I'm not waiting for you."

You both jumped when the door slammed again. Tommy took another sip of coffee and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, I don't know what got into him." he said, smiling apologetically. "He's a little nervous."

You waved your hand dismissively and reached for the invoices in front of you. "Don't worry. It's Monday."

You both looked up as a loud honking sound reached your ears.

"He'll kill me someday. Bye!"

The day went by slowly. You buried yourself in invoices, had to answer a few calls and contact a few clients. It wasn't until around lunchtime, when you had to call Joel about a delivery that was supposed to show up at his place of work, that you realized something was wrong.

The familiar sound of the phone ringing echoed through the office. You started picking up more papers and soon you spotted Joel's phone, which he had left on your desk.

"Shit." you hissed.

Joel always had his phone with him. In case it was a client, a supplier or someone from Sarah's school calling. However, the display showed zero new calls, so at least that problem was solved.

Using your phone, you called Tommy, who answered after a few rings.

"Sorry, darling." he sighed. "I had to go to the store in another city. I'll be gone for a few more hours. Maybe you could take it to him yourself, huh? When that grump realizes he doesn't have his phone, he'll be even more unbearable."

"Yeah, I think I'll do that." You mumbled, rubbing your temple with your hand. You weren't sure if you were ready to meet Joel. "Thanks, Tommy."

You threw Joel's phone into your purse and left the office, feeling your stomach tighten.

You saw a familiar car in the driveway of the house and parked nearby. No other cars. It was time for lunch, so the guys who were helping the Millers went out for a meal. Joel clearly preferred to stay put.

"Joel?" your voice echoed through the empty hallway. "It's me. Where are you?"

You heard the echo of footsteps and after a moment you saw a familiar figure at the top of the stairs.

"What are you doing here? Did something happen?" he asked, clearly concerned.

You shook your head and headed up the stairs towards him. "No, you just left your phone in the office. I called Tommy, but he suggested I bring it myself." You pulled out your phone and handed it to him.

"Thanks, you didn't have to."

"I know you, Joel. You'd tear this house apart thinking you'd lost it. If Sarah had called or someone important..."

"Thanks."

He noticed how curiously you were looking around the interior. You were rarely at their place of work, mostly taking care of office matters. Something that scared him and Tommy, and you did it perfectly.

"Would you like to look around?" he asked, your eyes lighting up.

"May I?"

"The guys are at lunch. I just wanted to finish something." he scratched the back of his neck. "C'mon, no one minds."

He led you inside, showing you the bathroom and a couple of bedrooms they were renovating. The smell of wood and paint filled every place, and your footsteps echoed.

Finally, you stopped in the last room, what must have been the master bedroom.

"So..." you began a little hesitantly. "Would you like to talk?"

Joel was visibly avoiding your gaze. "I guess we have nothing to talk about, huh?"

"Oh. I thought..." a cold shiver ran down your spine even though the room was quite stuffy.

Joel folded his arms across his chest, his faded T-shirt tightening more on his broad shoulders. He took a defensive position, it was the safest.

"We had a few drinks last Friday." he began, and with each word that left his mouth, you felt worse and worse. "We got carried away a bit, but I think we should go back to how it was."

"You mean..."

"I'm your boss, you work for me."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "Oh. Ooh!" you snorted. "Somehow this whole boss-employee thing didn't stop you from burying your fingers in my pussy up to the knuckles."

The tips of his ears burned, Joel swallowed hard. This wasn't what he expected. The memory of that evening had haunted him ever since, and this conversation was a nightmare come true.

He was already blaming himself for having too high hopes for you, for what had happened. Meeting you after all that was already awkward enough. And you wanted to talk. So he bounced the ball to your side of the court.

"I thought Jack really missed you." Joel grumbled. "That bouquet was fucking impressive. So, are you back together?"

"No."

Finally, his warm brown eyes looked at you. Something strange flashed in them, his face twitched.

"No?" he repeated after you.

You shook your head. "I didn't lie to you, Joel. It was over and no, not even a fucking impressive, bouquet of flowers would change that."

"I'm sorry." Joel lowered his head, clearly embarrassed. "I thought that..."

“Yeah, I get it.” You shrugged. “See, I did it for myself. That doesn’t mean I wanted to take advantage of you or anything…”

"I didn't think about it that way." he felt more and more embarrassed. "It was our mutual decision, right? We both wanted it. I... I really like you. I think you're an amazing woman..."

You smiled, and a heavy stone fell from his heart. One of your smiles could make his day better, and now he really needed it. The atmosphere clearly lightened.

"I like you too, Joel. And everything I told you back then was true." You approached him slowly, not taking your eyes off him. "I wanted to try, you know. Give it a chance and see where it will take us. Is that stupid?"

He shook his head. "I acted like a dick, didn't I?"

"No, you didn’t. All we had to do was talk."

You were standing so close that he could clearly smell your perfume. A sense of relief filled his heart, as if he was a few pounds lighter. He cleared his throat and finally spoke.

"Would you let me invite you to dinner or something?"

"I'm not sure." you frowned, and his heart beat anxiously "You see, Joel... We still have some unfinished business. And I'd like to give you something back. Something I didn't give you last time."

What business? What were you supposed to give him? His mind was blank. 

The face of the girl standing in front of him was unreadable. It was only when your fingers grabbed the buckle of his belt and pulled lightly that he understood. His cock twitched in his jeans, clearly aroused.

"I... You don't have to, sweetie." he mumbled, confused.

"You don't want to?" you seemed so sweet to him when you pout your lips, pretending to be sad.

"Fuck. I dream of nothing else, but..."

He didn't have time to finish, your fingers deftly unbuttoned his belt, and then slid inside, stroking his already hard manhood. Joel sucked in a loud breath through clenched teeth.

"Can I?"

He barely heard the question, but nodded quickly. Strong hands grabbed your face as he kissed you hard, when you lightly slid his jeans down. His hard cock popped out, its tip already shiny and swollen.

Joel wasn't holding you back anymore. He watched as if through a haze as you knelt down in front of him, licked your hand and stroked him gently. A quiet "Fuck!" slipped from between his lips.

You grabbed it confidently, moving your hand up and down. His cock was impressive and a pleasant excitement appeared between your thighs at the thought of how good it would be to feel it inside you. Now, however, you wanted to give him what he deserved.

You licked his tip, then took it into your mouth, sucking lightly. A slightly salty aftertaste filled your mouth. You closed your eyes, pushing it deeper, you didn't even feel when Joel's hand brushed your hair away and held you.

"Wait." he panted. "This is better than what I thought... Fuck."

He needed time. It had been a while since someone had taken care of him like this, he was afraid he would finish sooner than he wanted. 

But you seemed to sense it. Your tongue gently stroked his cock as you slid it in and out of your mouth. 

Joel's quiet moans filled the room. His hips began to move, slowly so as not to hurt you. When you took him so deep that you felt him at the back of your throat, and your nose touched his lower abdomen, his fingers in your hair tightened.

"Fuck. Fuck..." he panted. "Your mouth will be the death of me, baby... I won't last long."

You moaned quietly, and the vibrations went straight to his core.

You opened your eyes and saw Joel's dark as night gaze. His brows furrowed, his chest heaving violently. He cursed again quietly as your hand grabbed his balls, caressing them.

He was close, you could feel it. His hips pushed his cock into your mouth, but he was still trying not to hurt you. When you choked and tears welled up in your eyes, Joel immediately withdrew.

"I'm sorry, fuck, you feel so good... Did I hurt you?"

You shook your head "No, it's fine. Don't worry about me."

Your lips wrapped around his cock again, and Joel tilted his head back. He didn't need much.

"Shit! I'm gonna come, baby..." he gasped with difficulty "If you don't want to... I have to pull out… Fuck!"

But you didn't pull away. You held him when after a few thrusts you felt a warm spurt in your throat. You swallowed, sliding his cock out of your mouth and licking the tip with your tongue.

Joel was breathing heavily, his dark eyes never leaving your face. He helped you stand up and before you could catch your breath he pressed his lips to yours.

A hot tongue forced itself between your lips, eliciting the filthiest moan that had ever left your throat. He didn't mind the taste of himself on your lips, it was even kind of arousing.

"Fuck, what are you doing to me?" he gasped as he pulled away from you to catch his breath.

"Same thing you're doing to me." you replied, smiling.

The loud chatter coming from the yard quickly brought you back to reality. The workers had returned from lunch. Joel adjusted his pants and you grabbed your purse.

"About dinner..." he began uncertainly.

"We'll be in touch." you replied, and he smiled.

You headed towards the door and were already in the hallway when you saw Tommy in front of you. He was holding the box with the purchased products in his arms and looking at you with wide eyes.

"Ummm... I brought Joel his phone." You said quickly trying to hide your confusion.

"Sure." he replied and his eyes went to your dusty knees.

You just nodded goodbye and quickly went downstairs. Tommy was now looking at his older brother.

"Don't say a fucking word." Joel grumbled running his hand through his hair and trying to hide his embarrassment.

A sly smile appeared on Tommy's lips "That lipstick color really suits you, Joel." he laughed.

Joel rubbed his hand over his mouth and saw the remnants of your lipstick on the back of his hand.

"Not a fucking word." he mumbled taking the box from Tommy "We have work to do."

[part 3] soon

☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist: @wandavisionx

[ofstoriesandstardust]

if there is a right time (chances are i'll be here) (twisters - javi)

​​a/n: my little i can fix him character study that could! thank you my dearest @sometimesanalice for reading this and always having the best thoughts.

summary: Five years after a summer romance in Miami, you and Javi meet again. The boy still means such a great deal to you, even after all this time. If only he wasn't in love with another.

warnings: mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, swearing

word count: 6.6k

You met Javi nine months after the Tornado Tragedy that stole everything from him.

In Miami for an internship and fresh off a bit of a brutal breakup, Javi had all but stumbled into your life as his cousin “accidentally” pushed him into you at a breakfast place near his house.

The hurt that was woven into both of you was evident, even in the way you both laughed together on long, drunken nights and three am gas station runs. 

Maybe it’s the hurt that had drawn you together all along. 

It’s three months later, at the end of your time together, on the first year anniversary that you hold him through the night, a raw and wavering voice piecing together the fragments of that nightmare. 

It was like whispers of a confessional, soft against the storm that raged in his mind. Your fingers had run through his hair, reminding him that you were there, that he was alright. 

Two weeks later, you’d let him go. You let him go even though you knew you could’ve loved that boy someday, loved all the broken parts and pieces of him. 

Loved him despite the fact that he loved another. Would probably always love another, a striking, enigmatic force from his past who’d left his world as abruptly as his friends had left this world. 

It’s a shame, you think, to have lost a love you never really had. You never could really grieve that open wound.

Especially not when you left that door open for him, always looking for him in every grocery store aisle, in every smoky corner of a bar through the Midwest, every time you followed a storm with the windows down, hand feeling the humid air and warm rain as the sky tore itself in two. 

Still, you feel frozen as you see him across the parking lot of the motel, the skies opening as he ducks out of an all too familiar red truck. 

(Everyone in these parts knew that red truck and everyone in the storm chasing community knew in some way, a member or two of the Tornado Wranglers. An old bull riding friend, a classmate, a one night stand, a bonfire friend. You all knew them one way or another.)

Well, at least, you think it’s him. You see the curls before you ever see his face, and while it’s shorter now, you think you’d remember the build of a man you’d spent so many moments wrapped around, even if for a fleeting time. 

“Javi?” You have to shout over the pouring rain, stepping forward in disbelief, as you cup your hands around your mouth. You didn’t chase seriously, not really anyways, and had only convinced a few friends from college to come out under the guise of showing them a good time. By all accounts, seeing him here, now, would be near impossible. 

For a second, you almost don’t let yourself get your hopes up. You’ve looked for this boy in every corner of the world you’ve ever gone — how would he be here, in the soaked parking lot of some run down motel near the border of Kansas and Oklahoma?

You were only on a two day chase, following Ty’s team out but you hadn’t realized he’d be with them. You had heard rumors Ty had taken on a new business endeavor, something about taming tornados, but it had all felt so silly you’d blown it off. 

It had all felt so reminiscent of a friend you’d once known, of a project he’d believed so much in, it hadn’t felt real. 

-

His head perks up at the sound of his name, his head swinging wildly around the parking lot, before he spots you. His eyes grow wide in disbelief as giddy joy propels your feet forward, darting across the parking lot before you can even think about if he wants to see you. 

He lets out a laugh in disbelief as his body collides with yours, a warm rock against you as he tightly wraps his arms around your frame. 

“How are you here?” He sounds incredulous, almost as giddy as you, and you fist your hands in the slick material of his rain jacket. 

Your hair is longer than it had been the summer you’d spent in Miami, when you chopped it off all of five days after arriving, complaining incessantly about the humidity. 

You have a few new piercings and he thinks he might spy a tattoo peeking out from your shirt under your collarbone. 

“I- I work part time out at Muskogee as an adjunct. I bought a house out in Claremore two years ago.” 

A house. You’d bought a house. You’d bought a house — all alone? 

His eyes widen impossibly as his hands come to cover your own. “So- so like you- you being here in Oklahoma isn’t a fluke?” 

It’s the twinkle in your eye that almost makes him believe this is a dream he’ll wake up from. 

That look that says there has to be more than coincidence we both ended up here right now. 

That feeling deep in his chest that’s telling him strings of fate tugged you and Javi together to be right here, at this moment in time in your lives. 

He isn’t quite sure what to say to you.

He’d hopelessly thought of you for years to come after you’d left his life, the if onlys hanging around in the back of his mind, the fantasies of what he’d do if he ever saw you again comforting him on the darker days. 

But for all that he dreamed, he had never thought it would be a reality. 

-

“Are you-“

“So…” One of your friends say, and your head pops up, body turning to face her. You miss the way Javi’s face falls, the start of a question you barely heard lost to the wind. “If this little show is over, I’d like the room key, please.” 

“Piper has it.” You breathe as Javi’s hand travels down your back. 

“She-“ Bailey cuts herself off, face pinching in frustration. “She got stuck inside.” 

You splutter, brain short circuiting around a confused huff and a “I told her she needs to yank it”. Instead you turn, catching sight of more than one Wrangler peeking out their windows to watch you and Javi.  “Where’s Tyler?”

-

One unstuck door, a few hugs, and an hour and a half later, you find yourself crammed into a booth much too small to fit your friends and the Wranglers at a dingy roadside diner. 

You’re wedged between Dani and Javi and you giggle as Kate, through giggles of her own, regals the group with yet another tale from her and Javi’s undergrad.

“…So anyways, Javi is wasted right. And so is Addy, and she trips and Jeb and I, we both go to dive for her, to keep her from falling and slipping on the ice and when we finally get her righted, not without the two of us almost going down with her, cause I’m also drunk at this point, we turn around to find Praveen begging Javi to get out of the fountain they hadn’t had a chance to drain yet.” 

Javi’s face is crimson as the table roars in laughter, and you think you may not ever breathe again as silent giggles consume your whole being at the thought of a wasted nineteen-year-old Javi in a icy cold fountain during a surprise first snow, hollering about taming a tornado. 

It would be a good way to go out, you think, as Javi gives you a sheepish grin, air finally crackling through your lungs as a few tears slip down your cheeks. 

Tyler chokes on the other side of Kate and you slide down in the booth, shoulders shaking. Maria kicks your ankle under the table across from you, where she’s sitting in between Boone and Piper. 

“What the fuck are you laughing at? One time in college you stood at the stove for twenty minutes and couldn’t figure out why your food wasn’t cooking, all cause you had the wrong burner on! And you were sober!”

The table erupts again, much to the unnoticed irritation of the lone waitress, as Maria retells the story of the year you two had lived together, when you’d stood at the stove, unsure why your frozen package of fried rice wasn’t cooking, hoping to solve the problem with more olive oil. And boy, was there a lot of olive oil. 

“You don’t have room to talk Maria - you gave me a very expired jordan almond that nearly cracked a tooth!” You finally shoot back, earning you another round of laughter. 

After the table has finally quieted, a few stray giggles from Boone as he leans into Lilly, Kate pulls herself together enough to ask “Do you have a trademark chasing song?” 

Piper snorts into her milkshake. “Today we learned it’s A Pocketful of Sunshine… on repeat.” 

“Whoever used to get stuck in the van with Javi was made to listen to Salió El Sol by Don Omar probably about a dozen times.” Kate offers up in response. 

“You two are a match made in fucking heaven.” Dani comments under her breath and she groans, wincing as you deliver an elbow to her ribs. 

“It’s kind of ironic that both songs are about sunshine and you play it while chasing a storm when it’s very much not sunny.” 

Bailey frowns at Piper. “It’s almost like… that’s the whole point.”

-

“I still can’t quite believe you’re here.” Javi comments quietly as the two of you walk farther away from the source of laughter and noise, the twinkle of stars poking out from the sky streaked with clouds. It had been a good day, a good chase, and Tyler had ensured he led your friends to a great show. They were content to sit around a crackling fire, drawn in by the Wrangler charm (and you would never say, but you could see the looks Piper had been tossing Boone all night).

Javi puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket, licking his lips. “You know, I- I always thought about you. Where you were, how you were doing. What I’d do if I ever saw you again. A whole 50 states, countless cities, and who knew you’d be here in Oklahoma.” 

“Well, the Oklahoma part’s easy. I wanted a teaching job after finishing my masters and Muskogee wanted me enough that uh, moving to Oklahoma was outweighed by all the pros of the job. And then yeah, I found my place, cute little yellow house with a porch just big enough for two chairs to curl up and watch the thunderstorms like I’d always wanted. It all sort of fell together for me.”

“And the storm chasing?” 

“Like your Mom used to say that summer in Miami, the worse the weather the happier the girl.” 

A haze glazed over his eyes. “Yeah, she did used to say that, didn’t she?” 

You snort. “She used to say it every chance she got. Especially after that one time I stood out in the storm and then your cousin Mickey yelled from the back porch that I was gonna get struck by lightening and then you pulled me inside because of-“ You cut yourself off, suddenly feeling off-kilter. 

You weren’t sure if that was off-limits. 

“How is Mickey?” 

Javi snorts. “Ah, he’s good. He’s stationed out in San Diego right now.”

You kick a rock. “Doesn’t that sound dreamy.” 

Javi lets out a real laugh this time. “Yeah, he isn’t going anywhere. After years of barracks and aircraft carriers, he’s basically living the high life in his four bedroom off-base beach house he shares with some of the guys.”

The two of you keep walking towards the outer edges of the motel, finally pulling you to a pause as you turn to Javi. “Kate seems really nice, Javi. I could see how you’re in love with her. Hell, I kinda think I’m in love with her.” 

His Adam’s apple bobs as he works his throat. He glances away from you, scuffing his feet against the muddy ground of the parking lot. 

“I don’t know that I am.”

You sigh, unclenching your hands from where they sit in your own jacket pockets, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. “Javi, you don’t have to lie to me. It’s okay.” You soothe. “We were never together, not really, and besides, it’s been years since then. It’s not even an attempt of an attack, just an observation.” He eyes you, silent, and you sigh. “Javi, really, I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

You falter but the boy doesn’t offer up anything else and you sigh again. “C’mon, tell me more about this new business venture of yours, I’m kind of interested in hearing how I can get involved with taming a tornado.” 

-

Javi falls back into your life as easily as he had fallen into it last time. 

His apartment in Tulsa is only a thirty minute drive from your house, a drive Javi says he’d make a million times over. 

Some nights, he’ll find his way to Claremore and the two of you will share dinner in your cozy kitchen. He’ll never tell you, but that first night he’d gone over to your house, he’d sat in his car for eight minutes, eyeing the warm lights inside the house, preparing to meet some- some husband or serious long-term partner because, well, a house is a big purchase. A house says I mean to be here for a while. Much to his pleasant surprise though, as you beam at him as you take the flowers and wine from him, there’s no partner in sight. 

He lets out a sigh of relief as he bumps hips with you in the kitchen, stirring a sauce, that he has you to himself. Not only had you created this simple little life for yourself that you had loved so much all on your own, he has you all to himself. 

He has a chance this time. 

Other times, you’ll meet him in Tulsa for a drink, laughing into each other as you recount the summer you’d spent in Miami and he catches you up on the days you missed. It’s an ache, to hear about the growing pains of the last few years for Javi, but that ache soothes itself every time you see him laugh, or pull Boone into a playful headlock, or him and Tyler bicker  business over Cathy’s barbecue. 

Sometimes the two of you will go for drives, you making him listen to every album of all your favorite artists that he might’ve missed, and on quieter nights, watch the summer storms from your porch. Sometimes, he wraps his ankle around yours, just to feel you. 

Even when he’s chasing, he calls you, even just to say goodnight, even if you always pretend not to hear the muffled teasing of his friends from somewhere off camera. The sleepy FaceTime calls, however short, make something in him swell every time he gets another chance to do it. 

He took things for granted once. He won’t take them for granted ever again. 

As the year grows, so do the two of you. 

The question he asks you as you walk back to your car after a movie shouldn’t take you by surprise. Still, it does and you stop as you turn to face him. 

“Do you want to go on a date?”

It’s a chillier night than usual for the summer that’s quickly fading into fall and you’re wrapped up in your jacket as you study his hopeful eyes, a nervous smile on his face. 

“None of that fooling around shit we did as kids. A real one this time.” 

“Javi.” You breathe out, so soft and sweet. 

You’d forsaken a chance to love Javi so long ago. A weaker woman would forget the way he’d confessed the quiet love he’d held for Kate, even if it felt like he’d love from afar. A weaker woman would forget the way he’d confessed that he thought he’d probably always be in love with Kate, his feelings for the girl frozen in time to the day that took so much from them both. 

But those feelings didn’t stay stuck in the past, had all caught up to him when he’d asked Kate to come back to Oklahoma last year.

And the Javi in front of you wasn’t that same scared kid who’d taken off for the Army the first time his older brother pressed about the lingering phantom pain. This was- well, not a fully healed Javi — could anyone really ever fully heal from what he and Kate had gone through — but a Javi who was on his way to healing. 

But still- 

Javi looked at Kate with a soft fondness, their bond unexplainable. The way they fed off each other’s energy, the little handshake they had going on good chase days, it all struck home to you. 

You knew what Javi had with Kate. Even if Kate never felt the same way towards him, you knew the feelings of the boy in front of you.

“No, Javi.” You say softly and he takes a half step back, jaw going slack. 

Too long, you’d been people’s last resort choice, the girl people picked when they had no one else. You wanted to keep Javi in your life but not at the cost of knowing that every night you laid next to him in bed he was thinking of someone else. 

You didn’t blame him. Kate was every bit of the enigmatic, bright, witty force that he’d described her to be. She was a freaky genius, a level of intelligence you were in awe of. Everyone around her was drawn into Kate’s presence and orbit, the time spent with her never feeling like a loss. 

You know that Kate was the type of girl that you fell for and loved forever. 

“Javi, I’m sorry.” You whisper. “But I can’t. I can’t be that for you. I think-“

He holds up a hand, taking another step back. “No. You don’t need to explain it to me.” 

“But I-“

“No, I get it. We’re better off as friends, just cause you were interested then, doesn’t mean you are now. You’ve got someone else.” The last sentence is delivered with what seems like to be great effort and your eyebrows furrow. “There’s countless excuses you could give me. We don’t need to go through them.” 

“No, Javi, you aren’t listening to me-“

“No, I heard you loud and clear. Get yourself home safely, okay?” 

And then he turns on his heel, walking towards his truck as you stand there dumbfounded. 

-

The cold of the Oklahoma winter is bitter, biting at your nose and cheeks as you duck in the barn, finally letting yourself breathe. 

For a holiday meant to be filled with cheer, this had felt like anything but. 

The last few months between you and Javi had been increasingly strained, the ever-persisting struggle of both of you being able to understand the other. Being at Kate’s for Christmas had felt suffocating, as Javi had hesitated around you the whole day, almost seemingly unsure of how to handle himself around you on such a big holiday. Javi had never hesitated when it came to you, and watching him so at ease with the rest of his friends had put a sour taste in your mouth even the sweetest of the hot toddies couldn’t rid. 

“How you and Javi haven’t fucked yet is beyond me.” 

Tyler’s words are crass, said with nothing less than the cowboy charm he turns on for the cameras. 

“Fuck off.” You say, back turned to the man as you thumb through the notebook on Javi’s desk in Kate’s barn. Tyler’s feet crunch against the cold ground as he walks closer. 

“Party’s inside, you know.” 

You don’t say anything and Tyler finally sits down next to you, the bench creaking as he does. 

“What are you even doing out here kid?” 

You shrug, looking up at the collection of photos. “How do you love someone with the kind of grief they carry?” You say quietly. “I mean, does it ever make you feel weird- Jeb? Like she’s not yours to love? That she belongs to another?”

He sighs. “I’ve never thought about it like that, I guess.”

“Then how do you think about it?” The question is blunt as you finally look away, meeting Tyler’s eyes. “Cause I gotta be honest with you, loving someone who loves another is exhausting.” 

Tyler ponders your words for a minute and you let him, knowing this conversation carries too much weight for unformulated answers and quick quips. “Of course, Kate will always love Jeb. Even as she heals and even as she grows around the grief, she’ll love him.” He draws a breath. “But you can’t do that to yourself, the wondering what ifs of if they had still been here. You’ll make yourself damn miserable if you do. Just because she loved Jeb before he died doesn’t she mean she’s not ever allowed to love again.” Tyler worries his bottom lip, looking like he’s unsure if he can, or should, say his next thought as he glances at a picture of the original Tornado Tamers. 

It’s Christmas, just like it is now. Everyone is in some variation of a Santa hat, Addy’s and Kate’s funny face pulled at the camera, the only sight of Jeb being his thumb held out as he took the picture. Javi and Praveen are none the wiser to what’s happening as Javi is urging the kid to drink eggnog for the first time. 

You know this story, it was one of Javi’s favorites. It was their junior year and a blizzard had blown through right before the holidays. All incoming and outgoing flights had been grounded and Cathy had offered her home up to the Tamers to spend the holiday.

“Just because he was in love with Kate once doesn’t mean he can’t love anyone else again.” 

The thing is, Javi had never told you that story. Kate did. She had told you softly last night as the two of you had made cookies, recounting the story with a bittersweet fondness. She had told you that remembering through those stories, that their lives, their love, had been real made the grief easier to swallow. Her friends had been real and they deserved to be remembered for the forces they were. 

They’d have wanted Kate to move forward. They’d have wanted her to find family and laughter after them. 

You sniff, not realizing you’d started crying until the warm tears start to streak down your face. Tyler’s eyes tear down from the picture in concern, a hand pulling from his coat pockets to rest gently on your shoulder. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” 

You remove your hands from your own pockets, thumbing tears away from your eyes. “I sort of think he’ll always be in love with Kate.” 

Tyler shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. I remember when Kate first got here, the way he looked at her. He’d do anything for her but- it’s different now.” 

Javi had said that to you once, the night before the two of you had parted. That he’d do anything for Kate. If she called him tomorrow, he’d go AWOL and join her in New York. He didn’t care what it took, just that he wanted to be there for her. 

“Sorry, this is weird to be talking to you about.” You croak. “I shouldn’t be-“ 

“I get it.” He says, cutting you off. “Okay, with them- it’s delicate because they know things about each other you and I will never understand, no matter how hard we try. But it’s not like that with them anymore. I think-“ Tyler cuts himself off. “Well, I guess I don’t really know what I think. I just know that the way he looked at her changed. They’ve fit into each other's lives the way they were supposed to always be. And it hasn’t just been since you’ve been around. Javi- he’s different now.”

“He asked once.” You say softly. “He asked me on a date in September. I said no.” Tyler’s eyes widen but your words and tears spill faster than you can stop either of them. “I said no cause- Javi and I just didn’t have a summer whatever one year in Miami. It was the summer after- after it all happened. I was there, on the one year anniversary. I held him as he told me how he’d lost them, the fear as he was shouting into a radio no one would ever answer again. I know the way he used to talk about Kate, the quiet awe you have of her too. And I get it, okay, because Kate’s Kate, and she’s an incredible- Kate’s one of the best people I’ve ever known. But I know the way he said he’d always love her. I know it because I’ve played that moment on repeat for five years now in the back of my head, willing that moment to be different. Because if it was just Javi grieving, I’d understand that. But I can’t love him while he grieves a love for someone else that will never come to fruition. And I don’t blame him. I couldn’t. Because of what he went through, driving around that wreckage for hours, searching for his friends, because he was the one to have to identify Praveen and what was left of Addy- and oh God- because I see what he sees in Kate. And I know I will never compete with that. He’s all I’ve ever wanted but he’s openly told me she’s who he wants. So- I don’t know where this leaves me.” 

Your shoulders shake with tears as Tyler frowns, unsure of what to say. 

“I just want him to love me back.” You say around salty tears as someone knocks cautiously on the barn door. 

“Everything okay out here?” Kate calls. “You guys have been out here for a while and Boone’s trying to trick Dexter into drinking the spiked nog- are you okay?” 

You’ve turned away from her as you cry over Javi’s notebook. It’s an old one from his Muskogee days (you can tell because his sprawling scribble of handwriting had much improved since these days, now a neat legible penmanship you think Scott just about beat into him) and distantly you wonder if he’ll care that you’re ruining years old notes about radar technology as your tears drop onto the page. 

Tyler moves away from the bench, and you hear him usher Kate out of the barn, even if it doesn’t really register with you that they’re gone. 

There’s another creaking on the bench next to you some time later. “Ty?” You croak.

“Just me, ‘m afraid.” Javi says gently, voice steady and smooth like honey, which only prompts you to cry more as you fight the urge to lean into that sweet comfort. “Okay, well you don’t have to have that reaction.” He huffs, part kidding, part annoyed. 

All you can focus on is the hint of irritation in his voice and you shake your head. “It’s not you.” He grunts and you shake your head more vigorously. “I’m not mad at you, I’m not. I’m just sad.” 

“Sad to see me?” 

“Kind of-“ 

He starts to rise from the bench, much to your panic. “I’ll go get- well, Dani doesn’t really do feelings, so um-“

“Javi-“ 

“or maybe Lilly? Or Dexter-“ 

“Javi, no-“ 

“-if you want that sort of older and wiser opinion-“ 

“Javi, please just listen to me-“ 

“I can even go get Owens again if you want-“ 

“Javi I’m sad because I love you!” You near shout. “I’m sad to see you because I’m in love with you but you’re in love with Kate and that makes me sad because I just want you to love me back!” 

Javi freezes, awkwardly straddling the bench. You sit there in an uncomfortable silence, too many agonizing seconds passing. You feel like you can hear your heart threatening to beat its way from your throat and out into the open and the tears feel suffocating as you stare back into the face of pure disbelief. 

“You- what?” His eyebrows pinch together, falling onto the bench with a rather loud thud. 

“I’m in love with you, okay? I’ve been trying to avoid it for months but I can’t. It all means too much to me, like when you call me to tell goodnight when you’re out chasing or- or how you always pick me up that apple pastry from the bakery in Tulsa. All the sweet stuff you do for me but I- Javi, I love that you’re back in my life, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I just feel like I’m the alternate- the- the second choice because Kate’s with Tyler. And I can’t give myself away for someone who will only ever give me pieces of themselves in return.” 

Minutes pass as Javi scrubs a hand down his face. “But I- I asked you. I asked you out on a date. You said no.” 

You give a pitiful shrug, having given up on wiping away the tears that are freezing to your skin. “I don’t want to be who you settle for because you can’t have her.” 

He lets out a low breath, head ducked. The gnawing pit in your stomach grows as Javi keeps his face turned away from you, not letting you see his expression. “All this time, I thought there was someone else.” 

You recoil back, surprise shocking your system. “What?” You let out, mind reeling. “Javi, I spend all my free time with you. When- when would I have the time? When have I ever said anything about seeing anyone else?” 

“You said no.” It’s a simple fact, one you can’t argue with. “You said no and we never talked about if either of us were seeing other people.” 

You swallow, glancing away. “Well, I’m not. For the record. All I wanted was you.” 

A beat passes, a chill blows through the barn. “You really think I’m in love with Kate?” He asks quietly, voice raw. 

“You told me yourself that you thought you’d always be in love with her.” 

Javi finally looks up at you, something immeasurable and unexplainable swimming in his glassy eyes. “Yeah, I loved Kate once. But we were kids. We were kids who thought we were invincible. And we had everything taken from us because we got stupid and reckless. We lost everything. And after she lost Jeb, I knew that there would be no way she would ever look at me that way, especially not after she met Tyler. I think- I think of Kate and I as like a broken bone. That break hurt like hell, but time mended our wounds, brought us back together. That bone’s stronger now, we’re stronger now because we’re friends.” Javi scoots forward so his knees touch yours as his eyes take on a pleading glimmer. “You and I, we didn’t end up here in Oklahoma by coincidence. Call it- fucking fate, invisible string, I don’t know. But I don’t take any of it for granted. I took things for granted once and I got punished for it. I’m not taking my second chance with you for granted. All that stuff- the- the calling you at night, spending all my time with you, doing that sweet shit for you- you gotta know it’s cause I love you, you and no one else, and I’m not ever going to take it for granted because I know better than anyone how quickly it could disappear.” Javi takes your hand, gently moving it to place over his heart. “C’mon darling, you have to know that you’re the one my heart beats for.” 

Your breath hitches at the gesture, eyes darting around his face, looking for any sign of him being untruthful. 

All you can find is a raw honesty that’s making it hard for you to breathe. 

You lick your lips, sucking in a shaking breath. “Javi, I don’t- I don’t know.” 

He squeezes your hand before letting it fall as he stands up. “Think about it.” 

So you do. 

You do think about it. 

You watch Javi the rest of the night, the way he makes sure to snag an extra of your favorite cookie before Boone can take it so you have something for the drive back to Claremore. You watch as he and Kate fight over the rules of Uno, Lilly unfortunately squashed between them. You can’t help but notice that Javi hugs you just a little bit longer than he does everyone else. 

On the drive home, you think of the way Javi has always been warm to you, has been a safe place to go, a soft place to land. The way his hugs feel like coming home. The way he’ll sleepily ask about your day, mouth full of toothpaste, Boone’s elbow in his face as they cram into the tiniest bathroom. 

That night in bed, you think of the way his Mom sent you a Christmas present, how his younger cousins always asked him when you were coming back to visit. You think of the way he cooks his Mom’s recipes for you on the bad days, the light in his eyes when you bring him your grandmother’s cookies after nasty chases. 

Over the next week, you think about the work lunch dates and your work from home days spent at his and Kate’s office in Tulsa. You think about weekend chases shoved in between him and Boone, knees knocking together. You think about how sometimes, on days he’s feeling good, he’ll let you ride shotgun in one of the work vans, letting you help set up the radars. You think of the way he lets you sit next to him and Kate at the end of the day, breaking down the data for you, quietly explaining anything you don’t understand. 

You think of the way you’ve always wanted to know what his lips taste like after eating his homemade penne alla vodka and you’d give anything to spend another night molded into his frame, scratching your hand through his curls. 

You think of the grin you caught one time as you had insisted on dancing in the rain. You think of the time his team had caught him staring at you as you awed over a summer lightning storm on the road, the teasing endless. You think of the way he’d taken it, never denying it. 

You think of the way Kate kept softly nudging him towards you, the way Kate and Javi had opened up to you and Tyler about their dead. You think of the times the four of you had found yourselves together, a content peace emanating from the group, knowing you’d found your love. 

A million memories later, you know it’s the truth. 

Javi loves you. 

The minutes pass by on your dashboard clock, the start of the New Year looming, and you pressed your foot on the gas, begging anything out there that would listen, Javi had decided to stay in tonight. If he was in Sapulpa with Kate, or had actually decided to take that last minute flight out to Miami, this would have all been for naught. 

You park on the street, the noise of the people in Javi’s apartment ramping up as midnight drew closer. The sound of your feet running up the stairs were drowned out by the noise of his neighbors and you cursed under your breath, hoping he’d hear the almost frantic knock on his front door. 

You have to remind yourself to breathe, gulping in air, when the door swings open, revealing Javi, decked out in grey sweatpants and a silly Wranglers shirt Dani had given him, looking like he’d been on the verge of dozing off. 

He says your name in surprise, shuffling forward almost as if to touch you. “What are you doing here?” 

You take a shuddering breath, shrugging. “What’s that stupid thing Tyler always says? If you feel it, chase it? Well Javi, I feel it. I feel it and I’m chasing it.” 

His breath hitches but you give him no other time to respond, tugging on the front of his shirt as you pull him down into a kiss. 

It’s soft, it’s searing. It’s everything you could’ve ever wanted. 

His lips mold themselves against yours, hands finding your waist, as your palms slide up against his shirt, curling into his hair. You tilt your head, letting him deepen the kiss as the pressure on your hips grow. 

Distantly, you can hear fireworks set off. 

He pulls away, more than a little breathless as his thumb reaches up to wipe a bit of saliva away, heat flooding your cheeks at the movement. 

“Does this make me your New Year’s kiss?” 

“I guess it depends on if it makes you my boyfriend.” 

He shrugs nonchalantly, tugging at some of your hair. “I think we could maybe work something out.” 

You suck a breath in through your teeth. “Can I come inside? It’s fucking freezing out here.” 

“Oh shit, yeah.” He tugs you into the warmth of his apartment, moving to behind you to gently remove your coat from you. You swallow at the casual intimacy as he turns to hang it on the coat rack. His hands are back on you not much longer after, his lips place open kisses down the side of your neck as he moves your hair out of his way. 

You hum, leaning into him. “Bedroom?” 

“Bedroom.”

-

The new January light filters through the cracks in Javi’s, a soft grey covering the room as you reach you to card your fingers through his hair. 

He stirs, nuzzling closer to your hand as he blindly reaches out for you. Once he finds you, he softly tugs you towards him. 

“My ma is gonna be pissed I’ve taken you to bed before I’ve taken you out on a date twice now.” 

You snort, head falling into the crook of his  neck as his hands slip under your, well, actually it’s Javi’s shirt. You slide impossibly closer to him, grinning into his shoulder at his hiss at the feeling of your cold feet sliding in between his legs. 

“Did you ever actually get this mole checked out like I told you to?” 

You peer up at him, admiring the way his eyelashes frame his eyes, his freckles visible even in the silvery lighting. “Is that really what you care about right now?” 

“Just asking.” He mumbles. “Am I not allowed to care about your well-being?” 

You hum, reaching a hand up to ghost over his cheek. “I guess that might be okay, lover.” 

He groans, hands flexing around you. “Don’t tease me like that. ‘Specially not when you’re wearing my shirt and boxers like that baby.” 

You laugh but don’t push the moment any farther, wanting to relish this quiet moment with him. You’d never have the first morning of being with him again, after all. 

“I love you so much baby.” He says softly. “I still can’t believe you showed up like that last night.” “You’re my home Javi. How could I have gone anywhere else?”

[astrophileous]

Love Bugs (Pt. 03)

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?

Warning(s): pregnancy, brief talk of abortion, stalker behavior, kidnapping, curse words (this shouldn't even warrant a warning at this point lol) pls lmk if I miss anything

Word Count: 2000-ish

Author's Note: told ya the pt 3 would be here sooner than you'd expect! as always, LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG cause these give me the motivation I need to finish the parts sooner and maybe upload more frequently 👀

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

You always took pride in your ability to predict things correctly. It was one of the best traits that made you a great profiler.

Not this time, though.

This time, your ability to conjure correct predictions just seemed like a big joke that the universe purposefully played out to torture your ass.

The ringtone of your phone's incoming call snapped you back to reality. Without looking at the caller ID, you pressed the green button and brought the device to your ear.

"(Y/L/N) speaking."

"Hey, Beets. Where are you?" came the voice of one Penelope Garcia. "Hotch is looking for you. Are you coming in today?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm coming in. Sorry, it was an emergency. Tell the others I'll be there shortly."

After ending the call, you rushed through the rest of your morning routine as quickly as possible. The three opened boxes on the bathroom sink were thrown into the garbage can in no time. Their contents sitting on the counter, however, required you to pause and contemplate what course of actions you would want to do to deal with the problem at hand.

Upon realizing that this was not the kind of dilemma you could solve in a matter of minutes, you decided to fuck it before dumping the items into the same garbage can.

The three tests with two little pink lines would have to wait.

You had a serial murder case to solve.

If five months ago someone had told you that you'd someday end up carrying the child of Derek Morgan, you would have ordered a psychological evaluation for them right then and there.

The past few days had been a catastrophic turmoil. At first, the irrational anger had devoured you whole. You were this close to calling the company who produced your pills for claiming that they had 99% chance of preventing exactly the kind of mess you were going through from happening. Granted, they had put the minus 1% up there to save face in case anything like this were to ever happen. But what were the chances of you being one of the outliers in that small percentage?

Apparently, a pretty good one.

Then, the panic quickly had taken control and messed up with your head. The endless anxiety of having to bring a child into such a cruel world and bearing the responsibility of raising it, while having witnessed what kind of evil lurked underneath its facade, almost threw you to the brink of insanity. During those moments of fear, you had even entertained the idea of possibly terminating the pregnancy, even going as far as calling the nearest facility to question more about the procedure.

But once the fog had cleared, and you were able to start thinking rationally again, realization soon dawned upon you.

You wanted to keep the baby.

In some curious plot twist, you discovered that the idea of having this baby wasn't as scary as the knowledge of having to face Derek and inform him of the news.

And that was exactly what had been occupying your entire mind: how to break the news to Derek.

You barely even had the guts to talk to him directly anymore. Yet somehow, you had to find a way to tell him that you were pregnant, right to his face, as if you were bringing the news of a new movie that had just premiered in your nearest local theater.

How the hell were you ever going to do that?

And it wasn't like you were worried that Derek wouldn't be supportive about your decision to keep the baby. Even if he was unsupportive, there was nothing he could do to persuade you to change your mind. But Derek--sweet and kindhearted Derek--would never do such a thing. Having lost his father at a very young age himself, there was no way anyone could keep him from taking care of his child, no matter how they came to be in this world.

So, before you could gather your thoughts--and yourself--you had decided to put off telling Derek about your current condition.

"Still nothing, Garcia?" Hotch asked from his place in front of the board.

"I'm so sorry, sir. I've tried everything, but there was nothing else I could uncover from that tape."

The rest of the team was seated around the round table. It had been two weeks since the BAU received the video tape from the UnSub, and Garcia had finally revealed that there was nothing more to be analyzed from the tape despite having only obtained insignificant details out of it.

It also didn't help that the UnSub had been lying dormant since that video was delivered.

"It just doesn't make sense," Rossi said frustratedly. "Why would he stop now? What is he waiting for? This guy gets off on attention. Stopping his theatrics at a time like this doesn't fit his profile at all."

"He must be looking to get his attention from somewhere else," Derek chimed in.

"Yeah, but the question is where?" Reid interjected.

"And what is he planning to do to make sure he gets it?" Hotch let out a long sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, we're not going to stop just because this guy has. Emily, JJ, try interviewing the victims' families, friends, and the witnesses again. See if they suddenly have something useful for us. Morgan and Rossi, follow up on our other leads. Reid--"

"The case files. I know." Reid nodded.

"Right. And (Y/L/N)--" Hotch pinned his stare towards you, "--I need to talk to you. Thank you, everyone. Dismissed."

"Are you in trouble?" Emily leaned in as the rest of the team scattered out of the room.

"Not as far as I know," you whispered.

As you walked the path to Hotch's office, your mind began searching for the possibilities behind Hotch's sudden request to see you privately. You didn't get to guess for too long, though, as you finally arrived in front of his door almost in no time at all.

"Come on in, Agent. Close the door behind you," he commanded. You turned around to nudge the door closed. "Have a seat."

You didn't spend any time beating around the bush once you had sat down.

"Can I ask what this is about?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" Hotch looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "I heard you requested a half day off today."

"I, uh... yes. Yes, I did. Is that why I'm here?"

"No. That is not why you're here." Hotch leaned back against his seat. "You've been distracted lately. You're coming late to work, and you can't seem to focus when you're around."

"I-I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

"You should know that I've received concerns about you from the other members of the team."

What?

"Was it JJ?" you asked. "Because if this is about what happened in the bathroom--"

"It was Garcia, actually."

"Oh."

Hotch looked at you curiously. "What happened with JJ in the bathroom?"

"Nothing, sir. It was nothing."

The next few seconds were drowned in silence. The ticking clock on Hotch's desk became the only sound echoing against the walls. Hotch was examining you as if you were a suspect in the interrogation room, and with how much scrutiny was sizzling inside those eyes, you might as well have been.

"They're not the only ones concerned about you, (Y/L/N)," he spoke carefully. "I've also noticed that you haven't been yourself lately. You seem tired all the time. You look paler every single day." Hotch readjusted his tie before continuing, "I know that what we do here isn't easy. This job, it's not for everyone. Sometimes our limits are much smaller than what we thought it would be, and that's okay. If you'd like to put in a request for a transfer, I'm sure I will be able--"

"Sir," you stopped him before he could go on any further. "I don't want to transfer. I like working here."

"Just because you like working somewhere, it doesn't mean--"

"Hotch," you cut him off once more. "I'm pregnant."

The priceless look on Hotch's face at the sudden drop of your announcement would forever be ingrained in your brain.

"What?"

"I found out two weeks ago." You smiled tentatively. "I've been having severe morning sickness, and my appetite has also not been the best. Probably why I look tired all the time. I didn't mean to let my condition affect my work, I'm sorry."

"No, no. That's... wow. You're pregnant." Hotch started to nod as if the news was just beginning to fully settle upon him. "Congratulations, Agent. That's wonderful news. You are... happy, right?"

You smiled at his considerate question. "I am very much. Yes."

"How far along are you?"

"My guess is eight to ten weeks. I'm not so sure. Today is my first ultrasound, hence why I requested for half a day."

And then, by some unknown piece of miracle, Aaron Hotchner started to laugh. A real, actual laugh that had both of his eyes wrinkling in the corners. You didn't even know that he could do that without Jack around.

"When I called you in here earlier, this isn't exactly how I pictured the conversation would go," he admitted.

"Neither did I."

"Well--" He cleared his throat, "--there's, of course, a few things we need to go over in rumination of your current condition, but I'm sure we can manage that some other time."

"Of course, sir."

"And (Y/L/N)?" You stared at him expectantly. "You can come to me if you ever need anything. You know that, right?"

The sincerity in Hotch's declaration nearly brought you to tears. You immediately tried to blink back the emotions before you could make a mess of yourself in front of your boss.

"Of course, Hotch. Thank you."

You got up from the chair and began walking towards the door. Before your fingers could touch the handle, you decided to turn around once more.

"Hotch?"

"Yes?"

"I would appreciate it if we kept this between us for now."

"Of course, Agent." He nodded. "You have my word."

And with that, you exited Hotch's room before heading back straight to your desk.

A few hours later, you were finally returning home after attending the doctor appointment.

Confirming your earlier prediction, the doctor had put the estimated age of your fetus at around ten weeks. According to the internet, your baby was not larger than the size of a mere apricot. It was nothing more than a tiny blob in the sonogram image, but the sight of it alone somehow made you want to break down in tears.

Before you could turn into a sobbing ball of mess, you decided to put the picture right on the front of your fridge.

"Alright, I think that's--"

Thud.

Your head instinctively whipped around at the mysterious sound.

Without wasting another second, your hand immediately reached for the gun tucked safely in your holster. The tiny footsteps you took sounded deafening in the silence of your apartment. You first checked the bathroom, finding it empty with nothing out of the ordinary. The two bedrooms were pretty much the same. Quiet and a little messy just the way that you had left them that morning.

Sighing, you brushed off your paranoia as a result of your overactive hormons and creeping exhaustion.

When you reemerged from taking a shower nearly an hour later, the feeling of dread once again washed over your entire being.

At first glance, not a single thing in the apartment seemed to be out of place. But somehow, the feeling of another presence in the room was indisputable. Your wet feet slowly moved along the floor, careful as to not make as much sound as possible.

Once you arrived in the kitchen, you took in your surrounding, making sure that things really were staying in the places they should have been in.

You were about to sigh in relief until you saw it.

The sonogram image you previously had glued to the fridge.

It was now lying on the floor.

Before you could have a chance to grab the nearest weapon, the door to the second bedroom behind you suddenly began to creak.

"Boo."

That was the last thing you remembered before everything went dark.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request Bayverse Leo with your prompts 4, 44, and 45?

I'll see what I can do! Just saw the second movie so I may make this take place around that time or after? Hope you enjoy regardless :) As usual, the build up is poor but I was trying. I'm better with in the moment kind of stuff.

Yandere! Bayverse! Leonardo Prompts 4, 44, 45

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, His brothers accidentally encourage him one time and things go wrong, Stalking, Slight overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Threats, Forced relationship, OOC Leonardo, I struggle with Bayverse Ig 🤷‍♀️

Leo knew it was wrong to fall for a human as a mutant. He used to think it was bad news when Mikey showed feelings for April. At the time, he didn't get it.

Now he did.

Leonardo had met you through April and Casey. A human friend who managed to be a good help to them against the battle of the Technodrome incident. It was this big event that made the stoic leader grow curious of you.

After the battle the turtles were accepted by the community for the most part. This made interactions with you easier, which only fed into his growing feelings. He's happy he doesn't have to hide himself from you.

Although there is certain aspects he does hide from you.

Leonardo tried to keep his attraction to you hidden. For now, he's fine being a friend and a hero to you. He often got to speak with you during hang outs with April and Casey.

Leo may be able to hide his attraction from you, but his brothers know him well. Leonardo doesn't try to be impressive or stutter around anyone. It may have partially been Donnie and Mikey's fault for encouraging Leo....

After all, the two encouraged Leonardo to get your number.

It was innocent for the most part! Leonardo passed it off as just wanting to keep in touch. You're friends and a great team... might as well call and text once in awhile?

Being used to the mutants after the Technodrome incident, you accepted Leo's request with a smile. After all he is nice to talk to.... You trust him and his brothers as heroes of New York, after all.

You didn't expect much to come of it.

Phone calls were often exchanged back and forth. Hang out sessions were often set up late at night. You two became close.

Leo's brothers often overheard him talking to you around their home. Leonardo often shed off his stoic leader persona to talk to you casually. Based on the amount of chuckles and compliments, they knew their brother enjoyed his time with you.

They also knew he's leave late at night to meet you. Sure, he could see you in the day now, but night felt so much more natural. You two would still talk and have fun for hours regardless.

For months after the big battle Leonardo stuck beside you. It's been going on for so long his brothers saw it as normal. They can't tell much if Leonardo is doing anything bad at first.

He is.

Leonardo's behavior around you appears relatively normal. He still leaves late at night, he still texts and calls, he's done so for months!

Leo... tends to be secretive.

His brothers, your friends, even you don't see the pictures on his phone. No one ever sees him watching you in the shadows. With his growing feelings... his obsession... he's stealthy with it all.

Leo feels comforted when he watches you at night through your window. There's times he wishes to slip in and watch you closer. He promises he won't do anything weird.

Leonardo wishes you'd be susceptible to his feelings someday. Whenever he looks at you... he feels a yearning in his chest. He doesn't care if he sees you from afar, his phone, or right in front of him... he still wishes you could be closer.

It's a crush, a similar crush he thought was strange with Mikey. Although, his was much stronger than those small feelings. Leo's feelings drove him.

Drove him to do... dishonorable things.

There's signs that slowly start to bleed through. Leo's more touchy when you hang out, often trying to excuse it. He just... wants to hug you, is all.

He also just gets... upset when you turn away. He's upset when you look at one of his brothers or your friends with more affection than him. Do you... not like him? You talk all the time! Surely you must feel similar to how he does by now, right?

He tries to hide things but truthfully... he can't much longer.

You have no idea what he'd do for you... he wants to be yours so bad...

Maybe... it's time you learn just how much he loves you?

This is love... isn't it?

----

This... wasn't how love was supposed to go for all. He knew he was being eager yet... ugh, this isn't how a leader is supposed to act! He's... kidnapped you.

The worst thing?

The only thing he hates is your screaming.

He was just trying to show you how much he loved you! It wasn't meant to be kidnapping! He just... brought you home to hang out-

Then he confessed to you in his room... you turned him down. Something snapped in him and he ended up locking the door.... Then you wouldn't stop screaming.

Even when he moved you to a more secure and hidden place to work things out, you kept screaming... calling him a monster over and over again.

You wanted to be let go... he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Your screaming makes him so upset. He hates that he's scaring you but he also wishes you went along with this. Why didn't you accept him...

Now he really is a monster to you.

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!" Leo snaps, gaze staring down your frightened body. He... didn't know he could get so angry. You had the right to be scared....

"No! Let me go you freak! I TRUSTED you! You were my FRIEND! Now look at you! Kidnapping me because of what!? Let me go-!"

"Stop it!" Leo growls, stalking closer. He grips your chain and pulls down. You freeze when you see the gleam of a katana, the turtle in front of you grins. "Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

Leo looks into your crying eyes and quivering lips. Oh... he was only getting worse, wasn't he? He couldn't handle you not loving him to the point he was hurting you...

This isn't him...

This isn't the Leonardo you should love.

"... I'm sorry, baby...." Leonardo murmurs, releasing his grip to stroke the top of your head. "I scared you... you scared me, too. I promise I'll be gentle now. I didn't mean to lose my cool.... This isn't how a leader should act... this isn't how I should act towards the one I love, huh?

"Leo..." You whine softly. "Let me go... please...."

"I can't, baby... you know that." He kisses the top of your head and you cringe. "Not in the meantime, at least."

"You're scaring me...."

"I'm sorry." He holds you in a rough hug. "I just... love you more than anything." He then pulls away and holds your face with a smile.

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it." Leo sighs, pulling away to look at you in your binds... your tear stained face engraving itself in his mind. "Even if you hate me after all of this..."

Leonardo holds your hands, blue eyes glinting with adoration. It looks to innocent to be coming from him. He's betrayed you, after all....

"I'll love you no matter what happens."

The kiss he forces onto your lips afterwards feels like poison dripping into your mouth.

[jpmarvel90]

Don't let me down - Part 3

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Relationship: MamaScarlett x 16 yr old Reader

Summary: Scarlett is devastated to learn the true extent of Y/n's injuries. Whilst Y/n is preparing for their court date and the decision she has to make.

Word count: 5684

Y/n's POV:

After getting ready, I reluctantly headed downstairs, dreading what was waiting for me. I don't think I'm ready to talk about what's happened to me. I've never really had to vocalise it before. Talking with Danny and the police was the most I'd ever admitted to anyone other than Laura and it felt wrong doing it.

When I came downstairs, Scarlett was at the stove watching the pancakes whilst Colin was preparing some coffee. "Morning kiddo." He greets me with a warm smile when he sees me enter the room. "H-hi." I return, my voice causing Scarlett to spin around and look at me. "Would you like some coffee?" He asks me, waving the coffee pot at me. "Yes please." I reply, knowing I'm going to need a lot of caffeine to get through today!

"Take a seat sweetheart. Pancakes are almost done. What would you like with them? We have bacon, syrup, fruit, or chocolate spread." She offers up. I'm not used to having options let alone a choice on what to eat. "Uh. Bacon please if that's ok?" I reply hesitantly. "Good choice. Can't have pancakes without bacon. This one here only eats them with fruit." Colin jokes, making Scarlett gasp in faux offence. I like the bond they seem to have together. There's so much love there but they don't take themselves too seriously.

Scarlett places a plate with three pancakes and bacon in front of me. "I'd rather have something naughty as a snack than at breakfast." She points out. "She's training for her latest movie, and I swear if I see any more kale I may leave." Colin continues to joke, making me genuinely laugh. Is this what breakfasts are like for normal families? Happy and fully of laughter? I see Scarlett do a double take when I laugh, smiling widely. "Just shut up and eat your pancakes." She instructs Colin, grabbing her own plate and joining us at the kitchen island.

"What time are you meeting Laura?" Scarlett asks me. "Uh 11." I respond and she nods. "Perfect. I'll need to pick you up at 2:30 though so we have time to get ready for the court date later." She responds. "That's perfect. She has work in the afternoon anyway." I say, turning my attention back to the food in front of me.

There's small talk whilst we eat, but I'm waiting for the moment that Scarlett starts questioning me on the injuries I have. Though she did say we don't have to talk about it if I don't want to, so maybe she'll leave it for now. "I've got to make a quick call, but have a great time with Laura, kiddo. See you later." He says to me. I smile and watch as he leaves.

I can already feel Scarlett's expectant eyes on me. "The weather's nice today isn't it." I say and she laughs. "Yeah, it's particularly warm today." She responds. "I don't think I'm ready to talk about it." I admit to her before she can ask anything. I find sometimes it's better to be ahead of people rather than wait for them to start talking. I'm not sure how much I trust Scarlett yet and there is a lot to unpack. But there is also a worry in the back of my mind, that when she finds out how broken I am she won't want me anyway. Do I want her to want me?

"That's ok honey. I do hope that you feel comfortable talking to me about it someday. I want to be able to support and be there for you as much as I can. I missed too much of your life, all my fault I know, but I hope that I might be able to make up for some of that now." She expresses honestly.

"I appreciate you not pushing me. This whole situation is still a lot to process and I'm not sure when I'm going to be in a place to talk." I warn her, not wanting her to get her hopes up. I can see that it causes a flash of hurt to wash over her face, but she tries to hide it. "Of course. There is no pressure. Ultimately all that matters is that you are ok and happy. I still hope that is with us, but I will support you if you'd rather move to another foster home." She shares, taking me completely by surprise.

Although I can see how much that hurt her to say, I can see the truth in it. I never thought that I would get to have a choice in this matter. I feel like I'm still on edge here, but so far everything they have done for me has been thoughtful and with no hidden meaning to it. I think I'm safe here and maybe Scarlett does deserve a second chance. I just don't know how easily I can fall into being her daughter. But maybe the foster situation is good as it gives me time to work that out.

After talking a little more, I head to grab my things to meet up with Laura. I think I need this time with her. I need the comfort she provides by just being there and I need someone that I can talk to with complete honesty. "Are you ready honey?" Scarlett shouts up the stairs. Checking the mirror once more, I decide I look suitable and not like I've had two traumatic days.

I jog downstairs to see Scarlett waiting with her bag over her shoulder and keys in hand. "Yeah, I'm good to go." I tell her with a smile. She calls out to Colin to let him know that we're leaving and then we make our way out to the car. The journey isn't as awkward as the one last night. We talk a little about the court appointment this afternoon and what will happen. We then switch to talking about school and if I'm ready to go back in on Monday after the school break.

I assure her that I'm ok to head back and don't need longer off. Normally I hate when it's a school break as it means I had more time at the home. I also can't wait to get back to playing soccer. She agrees that it'll be good for me to go back and says that if I'm still with her that she'll do the school run for me as it's a little far to get the subway.

Eventually, we pull up at the café and Scarlett turns to smile at me. "I'll see you back here at 2:30, But I'm going to be around the area, so just let me know if you want picking up earlier. I can be here within 10 minutes." She tells me with a genuine smile. It feels very strange having someone care enough about me to drop and pick me up. But I think I like it. Knowing someone cares about where I am. It's nice.

I thank her and jump out the car and make my way into the café. I take the usual table that Laura and I sit at and order drinks for the both of us. It's not long before my best friend joins me and is pulling me into the tightest hug. "How are you doing?" She asks me as she takes the seat opposite me. Her concerned gaze on me. "My head feels a little like it's going 100 miles an hour at the moment." I admit with a bit of a chuckle. "How has it been staying with Scarlett?" She questions me and I think about how to respond.

"It's been ok. Her and Colin have been really nice." I tell her. "Good, about time you were treated properly." She states protectively. "I'm still a bit on edge. Although I can see they are truthful in their actions, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall. I guess I'm just worried that there is some ulterior motive to them wanting to adopt me." I admit.

Laura looks at me for a moment as she chooses her words. I always know that I'm going to get honest advice from Laura. Even if it's not what I want to hear. I know that she's only saying what's best for me. "I can understand why you feel like that. But you have to remember that she got in contact with you before she knew any of the shit that you've been through. She's not just doing this out of pity. And she certainly isn't doing it for publicity, she's one of the highest earning actresses there is. She doesn't need it." She advises me, seemingly able to read my two biggest worries without me having to say a word. She really is the best friend I could ask for.

"But she already has a family. What if I don't fit into that or they don't actually end up liking who I am?" I share my worry causing her to smile at me. "Trust me Y/n/n. You are the most likeably person there is. Everyone on the team fell in love with you in minutes. Scarlett and Colin already seem to adore you from what you say. Yes, it's going to be a big change for all of you and it's not going to be easy. But never worry about them not liking you." She expresses, taking my hand in hers and giving it a comforting squeeze. She gives me her dazzling smile and I feel my heart flutter. God I could look at her smile all day.

"If you decide to stay with them. You need to give it time. Things aren't going to be normal tomorrow. You also need to learn to not completely shut yourself off." She continues to give me her words of wisdom. "I don't shut people off." I defend but Laura just scoffs. "It took months for you to open up to me. If things get tough, you go into protection mode and shut down. You have people that are here for you to help you through it. You never know. Maybe you'll actually find talking about things with people helps." She smirks at me, knowing she's got me on that one.

"What would I do without you?" I ask her with a smile, and she laughs. "Your life would be a hell of a lot more boring. I brighten your life." She laughs. It's my favourite sound. "Yes, you certainly do. You're everything to me." I say, my cheeks instantly blushing when I realise, I admitted a little too much.

Laura stops and looks at me with a face I can't interpret. Then her smile grows even more. "You mean the world to me Y/n/n." She returns with complete honesty. My cheeks blush even more, and I drop my gaze to my empty mug. "Come on. Let's go for a walk in the park before Scarlett comes to get you." She suggests, holding her hand out to me. I easily take it and follow her out of the café to the park nearby.

She doesn't let my hand go as we walk, and I can't stop the warm feeling it gives me. We take a walk around the park before taking a seat under the big willow tree overlooking a small lake. "You know that regardless of what happens with Scarlett, you will always have me right." She speaks after a moment of silence. I look to her and see an almost shy smile. "I know. You're my person and I am the luckiest person in the world." I reply, making it her turn for her cheeks to blush.

She pulls me into her lap, and I rest my head back against her and her arms wrap around me. I feel completely safe with Laura and for the first time, I feel that maybe, she might just feel the same as me. When things with Scarlett have calmed down, maybe it's time to talk with Laura properly.

"You know, I need to meet Scarlett properly. Make sure her intentions are good." Laura says to me, her breath tickling my ear. "Isn't it meant to be the other way around?" I giggle. "Hmm, normally. But in this case, I need to make sure she's right for you and that she's not going to hurt you again. Besides, I wasn't exactly nice to her when I met her last." She shares and I laugh as I recall the time, she filled me in on what happened that night. "Yeah, probably wasn't the first impression you wanted to give your favourite actress." I tease her. "Shut up!" She whines as she pinches my sides, tickling me. We end up rolling on the floor laughing our heads off. This is the happiest that I have felt in a long time. Maybe things might be looking up for me.

After calming down, I check my watch and see that Scarlett will be heading back any minute now. "How about I see if you could come for dinner one evening. You can meet them both." I offer her and she smiles. "I'd like that." She replies easily, standing up and brushing herself off and holding her out to me. I take it and she pulls me into her for a hug. "I love you Y/n/n." She whispers in my ear. "I love you to Laur." If only she knew how much.

She walks me back to the café, our hands intertwined again. I spot Scarlett's car and say goodbye to Laura before making my way over to Scarlett. I open the door and she smiles as I get in. I feel much lighter than I did this morning. "Hi Sweetie. Did you have fun with Laura?" She asks me, a small smirk on her face. "Yeah, I did. It was just what I needed." I tell her and that seems to make her happier.

We start the drive home and my mind goes to the impending court appointment that we have in less than two hours. I think I've made my mind up. I just hope that this decision isn't the wrong one. Surely, I'm due some goodness in my life right now?

Scarlett's POV:

Whilst I'm waiting in the car for Y/n to come out, I notice her actually walking over from the park. The first thing I notice is the big smile on her face. I've never seen her smile like that, and it warms my heart. She has the most beautiful smile. Then my eyes drop to the linked hands with Laura. Are they together? They look rather comfortable together. They make a cute couple.

I watch as they say goodbye to each other, and I notice that Laura's gaze lingers on Y/n as she makes her way to the car. Even if they're not together, she definitely has feelings for my daughter!

When Y/n gets in the car, I can't help but smile at how happy she seems. When she says that the visit with Laura was just what she needed, I'm glad that she had that chance today. She must have so much going on in her head, I'm glad that she has someone that she can talk to. Hopefully, one day that might be me. But for now, I'm more grateful for Laura than ever.

"Maybe you could invite Laura over for dinner one night?" I suggest whilst we're driving home. I look to her when she laughs. "What's funny?" I ask her. "I suggested the same thing after she told me that she wanted to make sure your intentions for me are true." She shares with a smile. "Oh really. I certainly feel like I need to make a better impression on her than I did the first time I met her." I share and Y/n laughs, clearly knowing what happened. "I'm surprised she spoke to you like that. She's like your biggest fan." She admits, still smiling. "Though you can't tell her that or she will literally kill me." She says seriously to me. "Secrets safe with me." I promise.

Our conversation on the way home seems much more fluid. Though her mind seems to drift the closer we get to home. I imagine she's thinking about our court date. I'm nervous for what she has decided. I promised myself that I wouldn't push her to tell me. She needs to make the decision that is right for her. I hope that when she sees how much Colin and I want her, she'll agree to stay with us.

Once we're home, we both head our separate ways to get ready for court. I change into a pant suit whilst Colin comes out of the bathroom in his own smart suit. He always looks so good in a suit. "How are you feeling?" He asks me, placing his hands on my shoulders and giving them a slight squeeze. "Nervous. I don't know what she's going to decide upon. In the car she was talking about us meeting Laura which made me hopeful. But I'm worried to get my hopes up too much." I share with him.

He gives me a sympathetic smile. "All we can do, is show her how much we want her to live with us and provide her with a life that she deserves. Hopefully, she's seen a glimpse of that since being with us. But just know that I am going to be by your side through all of this regardless of what happens. I want to be a father to Y/n as much as I am to Rose and Cosmo." He expresses and I think my love for him just grew even more. "I love you so much." I tell him, spinning around in his arms and capturing his lips with mine. "I love you to Scar. Always." He returns.

When we get downstairs, Y/n is sat waiting in the living room on the couch. She's nervously rubbing her hands up and down her legs. I walk into the room and take a seat next to her. I desperately want to reach out and take her hand to give her some comfort, but I don't want to push any boundaries with her. "Are you ok sweetheart?" I ask her and she looks at me with a gaze full of panic. She hums and nods unsurely.

"I don't really have any nice clothes. This was the best I can find. Is this, ok?" She asks quickly, pointing to her outfit. She's in a blue skater dress. She's curled her hair a little and looks beautiful. "You look perfect honey. Nothing to worry about." I reassure her. She gives me a tight lipped smile and I see her shoulders relax slightly. "Are you two ready to go?" Colin asks quietly walking into the room. "I am. Are you Y/n?" I ask turning to her and she nods, standing up.

The sound of the radio is the only sound in the car as we make our way to the courthouse. I think we're all to scared to say something wrong. I just wish I was able to comfort Y/n more. I know it's going to take time. But all I want to do is hold her, tell her I love her and that she is safe with me and for her to believe it.

Danny is waiting for us at the entrance when we arrive, and he takes us into a small room away from all the people in the hallways. "Hi Y/n, how are you doing?" He greets Y/n first and I see her instantly relax. She seems to really like Danny and feels safe around him, which I'm glad about. "A bit nervous." She admits shyly. "That's ok. There is no pressure today. The judge will ask Scarlett and Colin some questions and then he'll ask you some too. Just answer honestly." He informs her and she nods in understanding.

"Does he know about what happened? You know with everything?" She asks him with a worried look on her face. "He does. But Judge Bailey is really kind. He's there to make sure the outcome is what is best for you. There is no judgement on you as a person." He replies. I hate how nervous Y/n is with all this. But hopefully, after today we can move on from this and start to make a better life for her.

Danny explains a bit more to all of us and makes sure that Colin and I have all the relevant papers that we had to bring and fill out. I don't want our case to be rejected because we forgot something! This needs to go perfectly.

Time ticks on and eventually we're called into family court. We're the last case of the day, so thankfully, there are no others waiting for their case to be heard. Not that it would matter. I don't plan on hiding Y/n from the world, but I want it to be on her terms when that knowledge becomes public.

We take our seats behind the desk. Y/n is sat on the desk to the left of us with her social worker. She looked nervous when she was told that she had to sit away from us. If I wasn't so worried about her, I would have melted at the fact that she wanted to stay. Colin has a grip on my hand the whole time as Danny does his introduction to the judge. Thankfully, when asked, the social worker confirmed that they have no disagreement to us foster Y/n. Now it's just down to personal statements.

"Mrs Johansson." The judge addresses me, and I stand in response. Danny indicates for me to move to the podium in between the two desks and I make sure to give Y/n the biggest smile I can. I'm surprised when she returns it. "You are Y/n Y/l/n's biological mother?" He asks me and I nod as I respond. "I am." A smile tugging at my lips, proud to be that. "And you're now asking for an emergency foster status so you can home her with the intention of adoption." He clarifies reading over the papers Danny had presented.

I really wish he would say it like he did. Y/n isn't a dog that we want to rehome. "I do your honour." I confirm and watch as he nods. "Now is the time to make your statement as to why you want to progress with this case." He looks directly at me, and I feel my heart start to beat faster at the thought of talking so honestly. But I know that there is a lot that I want Y/n to hear.

"16 years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I put my career before my daughter. I thought at the time it was what was best for her. I didn't think I could dedicate time when I was working so much. But within a week of putting her up for adoption I regretted it. I longed to be the one that watcher her grow up, that was helping her to learn to walk and talk. To tie her shoelaces and be there on her first day of school. But I only had myself to blame for it."

I pause, not wanting to let my emotions take over me. "I tried to reverse the adoption, but I had given up my parental rights and I had to accept the fact that I would have to wait until she was 18 before I would be allowed to approach her and that was a hard pill to swallow. I tried to move on, but she was always there in my mind. Every day I wondered what she was doing, what she was interested in.

It took me by surprise when my lawyer called me and told me that Y/n had been moved into the foster system and I was legally allowed to approach her now. I felt like I was being given a chance to create a relationship with her. As soon as I knew she was in foster care, I wanted to adopt her, to have her be my daughter again.

That desire has only grown in the last week. The only solace that I had over the last 16 years was that Y/n was in a caring and loving home. Being given a life that I wouldn't have been able to give. But now I know what she has been through, I want nothing more than to be able to provide her with a safe, loving, and happy home now. Something I wish more than anything I had given her from the day she was born."

Tears prickle at my eyes as I speak. I feel my shame and embarrassment at being so selfish and the impact that the decision that I made has had on Y/n. "I may have only spent the last two days with Y/n, but I can tell you that it has only made my love for her grow even more. Because despite everything that she has been through, she has grown into a kind, intelligent, beautiful, and funny young woman and I couldn't be prouder." I share, directing it directly to Y/n so she can see my honesty.

"I know I may not deserve a chance at being Y/n's mother again. It is something I have to earn. But I hope that today, you'll allow me the opportunity to provide her with a home until she decides on what is best for her. I hope beyond anything that she'll find it within her to forgive me and allow me to be her mom. But I understand that that might not be what's best for Y/n."

I take a deep breath as I finish, turning to return to my seat. I see Y/n sat with glossed over eyes. Her social worker with a hand on her shoulder to provide her some comfort. As soon as I sit in my seat, Colin wraps an arm around me and places a kiss to my head whilst Danny whispers a well done to me. "Mr Jost."

The judge now turns his attention to Colin who sits upright. "I understand that you aren't Miss Y/l/n's biological father. Are you supportive in Mrs Johansson's endeavour to complete the foster and possible adoption of Y/n?" He asks and Colin smiles widely. "I have known about Y/n since Scarlett and I's first date. She has never been a secret in our relationship, and I have fully supported Scarlett in wanting to have her be a part of our lives. I look forward to having her become part of our family. I already feel like she is my daughter, despite only knowing her for a few days." My eyes don't leave Colin as he speaks, my heart growing to know that he has so much love for her too.

When I glance over to Y/n she has a look of shock on her face. I don't think she ever thought that she would hear words like that from Colin. I hope that it will help show her that we are both 100% for this. Her face soon turns to one of nerves at the judge addresses her. I notice how his voice becomes much softer and he gives her a kind smile. "Miss Y/l/n. I know that this has been a difficult few days for you. I would also like to apologise for the fact that the system failed you with both your adoptive parents and the foster care you received. I have made sure that an investigation has been launched to ensure this never happens again." He tells her.

I'm glad they're doing that. It's too late to help Y/n but hopefully it'll stop any other child having to experience anything like she has had to go through. "Now, if you wouldn't mind just standing there at the podium, I have a couple of questions for you." He requests, pointing to the stand.

I watch as Y/n slowly stands and makes her way to the stand. She meets my gaze and I give her a warm smile, one that she partial returns. My heart starts to race as I wait to hear what she's about to say. I'm about to find out if I have any hope of building a meaningful relationship with my daughter.

Y/n's POV:

Standing here at the podium is the most nerve wracking thing that I've done. Hearing the honest words of both Scarlett and Colin took me by surprise. Colin's especially. To know that I was never a secret between them made me happier than I thought and knowing that Colin wants this as much as Scarlett makes me feel more comfortable.

Listening to them, it helped me make my mind up. I know there is a long way to go, and I don't know if adoption is going to be the end goal. But I want to live with them. Scarlett will never be able to take back what she did, but I'm sure if she could, she would. To ask to be in a different foster home feels a little like I'm cutting of my nose to spite my face.

It's also got so much more risk to it. I'm pretty sure I'm safe with Scarlett. But going elsewhere is a complete unknown. I know the judge said they are investigating everything, but there is a systemic problem within the foster system and any changes as a result of the investigation won't be imminent. And ultimately, I just want to have a normal life. A normal family. Maybe I can have that with Scarlett and Colin.

"Miss Y/l/n. Firstly, I'd like to ask if you feel safe at Mrs Johansson and Mr Jost's home." The judge asks me, giving me a kind smile. "Yes sir. I do." I respond quickly and easily. "That's very good to hear. I only have one more question for you and I want you to answer honestly. Do you want to be fostered by Mrs Johansson and Mr Jost?" I knew this question was coming, but my answer isn't quick from my mouth.

I look to Danny, who's giving me the most reassuring smile. My gaze then falls to Scarlett, who's eyes are full of unshed tears. Fear evident as she waits for my answer. Colin is providing her as much comfort as he can, but I can see the concern on his face too. I turn back to the judge, grateful that he's not pushing me to answer. "Sir, I think I would like to be fostered by Scarlett and Colin." I respond. I hear a small gasp and a stifled sob as the judge thanks me.

"Thank you, Y/n. You can sit back down again." I return to my seat at the instruction of the judge whilst he sorts some papers in front of him. "Ok. After hearing the testimony today, I approve the emergency foster status of Mrs Johansson and Mr Jost and place Y/n in their charge as their foster daughter." The judge confirms. I hear a small 'oh thank God.' From Scarlett but the judge looks back to me. "Miss Y/l/n. I know that you're trying to find your safe place and know who you can trust. All I want to say to you is don't miss out on an opportunity to have the life you deserve because you're scared to forgive." His words hit me hard and I try not to let their affect on me show too much. I thank him and stand from my seat as he hits his gabble down.

Scarlett and Colin look almost jubilant together as Danny is collecting the relevant forms from the bench. My social worker smiles at me and walks over towards the other table. "I'll be in contact with you to arrange regular check ins. We'll start with bi-weekly and then move to 3 month check ups once I'm happy that Y/n has settled." The social worker explains to Scarlett who nods in agreement. She then turns her attention to me. "Thank you, Y/n. For letting us have the chance to give you the home you deserve." She tells me through sniffles. I give her a tight lipped smile, still feeling cautious in this moment. "C-can I uh. Can I hug you?" She asks me insecurely. I'm grateful that she asked, respecting my boundaries at the moment.

I nod and slowly open my arms to her. She carefully wraps her arms around me and places a hand against my head, holding me to her chest. The smell of her perfume is weirdly comforting and familiar. The hug is warm and safe. It feels like a hug from a mother. Something my adoptive mom never gave me. "I promise you that I will do everything to make sure you get the life you deserve." She whispers to me before placing a kiss to my head and letting me go.

Colin is almost bouncing on the spot next to her and I open my arms to him too, laughing as he quickly hugs me too, with a little 'yay' coming out of his mouth in excitement. "Thank you, Danny. For everything." Scarlett says to Danny who's smiling over the scene in front of him. "Of course. I'm glad that things have gone well." He returns.

We start to make our way out of the courthouse and towards the exit. Danny has hung back so he's next to me. "I'm still always at the end of the line if ever you need me." He reminds me and I smile at him. "Thank you." I return easily. When we reach the car, Colin is holding my door open for me, Scarlett standing by his side. "Come on, let's get you home." Scarlett says with the biggest smile on her face.

Home. I actually think this might be the first place that will ever feel like that to me.

Part 4

[silverzoomies]

Ooh you should do like headcannons of what it’s like sleeping next to Peter or having kids with Peter

ohhhh my gosh this is so intimidating, but i'll try my best !!

💙peter maximoff headcanons💙

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💙sleeping next to peter💙

listen, anon...

i personally don't imagine he sleeps

like, at all. ever

but if he did? he's either one of two sleeper types

he might crash like a log. and you won't be able to move him once he's conked out. like good luck tryin' to roll him off you

if you gotta get up? sucks to suck. you're stuck there for a while

but he could also be the type to toss and turn in his sleep

like, all night. super restless. kicking his legs and everything

might even talk a lot in his sleep, rambling incoherent babble

you'd wake up to him saying shit like, "ohhhh shit. forgot i left the cats in the car."

but he doesn't drive. he doesn't even have cats. what's he dreamin' about??? does he dream as fast as he moves????

he might also switch gears a lot. going from super clingy, to super distant really quick

one moment, he's got his cheek pressed to yours, snuggling super close. needing to be near you so bad, otherwise he'll literally die

the next, he wants his space. stretches himself out on the other side of the bed. and if you come too close, he lowkey groans about it. but like affectionately

he's like a picky cat hopped up on too much adrenaline

i don't think he'd be too overly affectionate, though. if anyone wrapped him up in a cuddle session for too long, he might get pretty antsy. just in case he's gotta move

don't even get me started on the potential for morning wood

💙having kids with peter💙

would strive to be the best damn dad ever, and you can't convince me otherwise

since he grew up without a dad himself. he wouldn't want his children to grow up feelin' the way he did

he'd try to be super present in their lives, and very involved. even if things got a little too overwhelming sometimes

he'd wanna be nothing but supportive and loving of all their hobbies and endeavors

peter knows when to set boundaries, but he'd have a tendency to be a little too lenient

once his kid got a little older, he'd be so tempted to drag them into some harmless trouble. to your dismay

like, they'd start pulling pranks on you together. but the pranks are as simple as pelting you with water balloons when you're least expecting it

or, oh no! he ran them to mcdonald's for somethin' to snack on. without you! and right after you said you were gonna make dinner that night too! they'll ruin their appetites like that!

"okay, but they really wanted nuggets. wouldn't stop askin' about it. they even said please! what was i supposed to do? say no!? look at this face!!" and he gestures to your kid's precious doll face

if his kid is born with mutant genes, he'd be so goddamn proud

and a little worried too. he'd be terrified of how his kid would be treated in school, especially for bein' different

that is...unless you enrolled your kid at charles's school. most ideal scenario honestly. peter would feel way more content then

his kid definitely wants to become a great, x-men hero like their papa someday

he introduces his kiddo to his favorite music wayyyy early on. like, your newborn is resting in their crib. and he's playin' pink floyd like it's a lullaby

"honey, we really gotta make sure this lil rascal's educated, don't we?" but he's talking about exposing them to david bowie

but if his kid grew up listening to all the genres he doesn't, he'd still be as supportive as he could

his kid likes lil nas or lady gaga or somethin'? he's takin' the whole family to a live show. he's wearing the merch. he's learning the songs. he's singin' those songs in the crowd

i do think he'd get pretty anxious, though. might worry he's not a good enough father. maybe thinks he's not cut out for it. you have to reassure him all the time: he's doing the best he can. better than you could ever hope for

he's busy with hero work and teaching a lot of the time. when he starts to get a lil too absent, he's terrified he's neglecting his kid in some way

but he's got no idea his kiddo thinks the entire world of him. literally the coolest dad ever in the history of the universe. his kid will go to school and be like "yeah well my dad's quicksilver"

he's the kinda dad who's gonna splurge on christmas gifts. so many, you won't be able to see the floor. you're worried he stole them all. but he swears on his life he paid for everything. he's gotta set a good example, after all !!

impossible challenge: try not to feel soft after thinkin' about him sitting in his kiddo's bed. readin' a bedtime story. doin' silly voices and pointing at all the pictures

the bedtime stories are x-men comics

[tedelunazz]

the ballad of the songbirds and snakes, dan heng

synopsis: sorry my love, if this hurt you, i wanted to die of love but it didn't come out.

warnings: I hope you like it, it's my first writing for honkai star rail.

It was night, too night on the Astral Express and currently only Dan Heng was in the main area of the Express. March, Stelle and everyone else had already gone to sleep but he couldn't, he had to finish what he had been putting off for so long.

Write his entry in the book.

It was an idea he didn't like and it made him feel an extremely bitter feeling in his chest, to write about him, his past and why he came to the Express. He didn't like to think about it, he didn't like to remember what he experienced before he joined this train.

He doesn't like to think about Blade, let alone you, he didn't hate you but the memory of what happened made his stomach knot. He still remembers the first time he tried to talk about you with March, he ended up crying as soon as he said your name and from then on he never tried to talk about it with anyone else ever again. It is an extremely painful memory for him and every time he thought that you were now wandering around with Blade, it increased that feeling of bitterness.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clenching the ink pen he held between his fingers, the moment he closed his eyes his head filled with memories of you and him.

"Someday I'll make you a song, even if I don't love you yet, I promise I'll learn to do both!"

That day you said those words so convincingly, with a smile as warm as sunlight and even forced him to make the pinky finger promise. After that day, you went everywhere with a little notebook and a pencil, Dan Heng remembers you looked so cute when you were writing in that notebook.

He remembers that you started to spend more and more time together, you went out and came back, he sometimes brought you little gifts that he collected. You made tea instead, bitter and strong tea, you said it was because you never liked fruity or mild spicy flavors. You really spent a lot of time together, when he had nothing to do or when you were not busy, you were always together.

You would be seen walking around, other times you would be seen having tea in a place a bit far away or sometimes you would just sleep in each other's company.

But in spite of that, in spite of all that it seems that it wasn't enough and that nothing mattered, it seems that at the end of it all, you never learned to love him as you had promised that day.

One day everything simply failed, everything got out of control and everything went wrong, everything collapsed so fast with no apparent solution. That day, that day all this happened, when Dan Heng lost everything, you clearly remember the last words you said to him: "Sorry my love, if this hurt you, I wanted to die of love but it didn't come out."

You said those words with a smile before disappearing, as if you never existed.

And of course that left him deeply hurt, everyone that day made mistakes that will haunt them to this day, of course Dan Heng doesn't forget what he did that day but on the other hand he still can't forget you, I can't forget the great pain he felt when you hinted to him that despite all the time they spent together, you couldn't love him even a little bit.

It was just painful.

"Why do you have that look on your face?"

Dan Heng slowly opened his eyes and saw Himeko in the distance, who was slowly approaching sitting next to him.

"I see, you're writing your entry in the book."

Were Himeko's words when she saw the heavy book and pen Dan Heng had next to him.

"She was the middle ground between the greatest love I've ever had and the deepest pain I've ever felt."

After a long time, Dan Heng allowed himself to cry, even though he was ashamed to do so in front of Himeko he allowed himself to do it

[your-name-is-jim]

What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 1/2]

[Part 2]

This is a pretty long post in two parts, so I hope you'll find it interesting. Don't worry, I shared a lot of pictures too! :)

First of all, what is it about?

An analysis about a 32-pages comic published in 2020 by IDW Publishing. More specifically, I'm talking about the Valentine's Day special from the comics series Star Trek: Year Five that I recommended here. The title of this story is Captains of Sea and War, and this is the official summary:

"James T. Kirk has had many loves during his mission among the stars, but this time he may have met his match in fellow Starfleet Captain Laura Rhone."

As I said in my review of Star Trek: Year Five, this Valentine's Day special is not linked to anything else in the main comics series. That means it can be read alone or, on the contrary, it can be skipped if you're only interested in the series (where Kirk doesn't have love interests, by the way).

Do I recommend this comic issue?

It depends on your preference! Just like the rest of Star Trek: Year Five series, the art is great and so is the characterization, at least most of the times. Jim is written as a romantic book lover and definitely not as a womanizer. However, if you only ship Kirk/Spock or you're not into Kirk romance with women in general, I believe you should avoid wasting your time and money. Just read my analysis if you're curious! :)

Why am I talking about this? And why as a Kirk/Spock shipper?

Good question. The short answer is that I read this comic and I have a lot of thoughts about it.

The long answer is that I love TOS Kirk and I'm interested in him as a character, romantic scenarios included. Since Kirk/Spock is my OTP, I can't suddenly take my slash goggles off, so I already knew before reading this comic that I'm not exactly the target audience and nothing is ever going to convince me that Spock isn't The One for Kirk. However, it was an interesting reading in multiple ways, so I'd like to say why!

I want to be 100% clear about my Kirk/Spock preference because even if I will try to talk objectively about the comic to a certain degree, this analysis is biased; if you don't like Kirk/Spock, this is NOT the post for you. That said, you may not see the point in a K/S shipper writing an analysis about a romance between Kirk and a female character, but… well, unless someday they'll release official Kirk/Spock comics, this is all we have.

There are two reasons why I read this story despite being pretty much a monoshipper when it comes to Kirk:

I had already read the main comics series and I liked it a lot, so I wanted to give this special a try.

I thought it was probably going to be okay, because in my headcanon Kirk and Spock don't actually get together until The Motion Picture. Kirk has a lot of love interests before that movie, so adding another one doesn't really bother me. It turned out (as I'll mention later) that I wasn't completely right about the era, but I take Star Trek comics as "extras", so I just ignore what I don't like.

Note: this analysis contains SPOILERS from the entire Valentine's Day special.

However, it does not contain spoilers from the main Star Trek: Year Five comics series. So, if you're planning to read that one, you're safe here! Just avoid this post if you don't want spoilers about the Valentine's Day issue.

Okay, are you ready? Let's go!

So, Jim is on shore leave with Bones. As you can see, the moment a pretty woman gets close to them, Bones leaves, because he's a great friend :)

We already know from the summary that the woman who talks to Jim is Captain Laura Rhone. Now, I'm already going to stop here to take a moment to at least appreciate the creators' effort: as someone interested in fictional writing, I must admit that creating a Valentine's Day special in 2020 about James T. Kirk finding love is an extremely hard task, to put it mildly. Seriously, if it can't be Spock (or the Enterprise :P), how the hell do you even do it? Are you going to give Jim another woman-of-the-week who's going to die? Another blond white woman? Another woman who forces him to choose between her and his ship? Or, on the contrary, a woman who'll choose for him and break up because she knows he wants the Enterprise?

NO.

Star Trek TOS was made in the 1960s, but we're in the 2020s now. Fans are tired to see always the same tropes with female love interests, and some of those tropes are just very outdated. So what does this comic do? Well, first of all, fixing what didn't work in Turnabout Intruder. Oh, let me get this straight: overall, I like Turnabout Intruder. I love the canon bodyswap, and I lost count of how many times I quoted "You are closer to the Captain than anyone in the universe" in my Kirk/Spock fan-fictions. However, there's no way that in the 2020s we're going to believe that a positive future means this:

In the Valentine's Day comic, Janice Lester still exists (she's mentioned once in a dialogue), but since Laura Rhone is a very good Starfleet captain around the same time, I believe we're now supposed to think that Janice was one crazy person who was never going to become a captain because of her personality and behavior, not because she's a woman. This is actually how I've always liked to mentally re-write this part of Turnabout Intruder in my head, because that's how I want to imagine it.

Anyway, back to the comic. Captain Laura Rhone is on shore leave too; she recognizes Captain James T. Kirk and she decides to introduce herself to him. She's very straightforward about her interest in him, so we immediately see that part of her personality.

Of course, the two captains can't enjoy their shore leave until the end. I'm posting this part to appreciate Bones in his beach clothes and Laura's very loyal Andorian officer who slips ("Laura! I mean, Ma'am!") when she sees her Captain in danger and oh whoops now I ship them. She doesn't remind me of anyone, I don't know what you're talking about.

Anyway, wrong ship. I'm obviously not following what the story is trying to tell me, because this is what happens next:

Just a moment to appreciate sleeping Jim. Cute.

So, after that night together, Jim and Laura don't see each other for 6 months. They meet again when the Drake, Laura's starship, has a battle against a group of space pirates and the Enterprise intervenes without consulting Laura first. Laura and Jim have a slight fight about that, but Jim apologizes, and it ends with them in bed again.

After that, because Jim is a romantic man, not a womanizer, and thank goodness the creators of this comic know, Jim asks Laura on a date. As they're walking together on a planet, Laura points out that they're doing things in the wrong order. Jim's reply is rather interesting: he asks her if they need to know what they're doing, and if there has to be a shape or a meaning to it. It's the first sign that even if they're both obviously attracted to each other, Jim is unsure about the kind of relationship he wants with her. When I think about his previous experiences, I believe it makes sense. He may be a romantic at heart, but he suffered so much for love that I can see why he's trying to be careful. There's also another reason, more related to the time this story takes place, which is a few months before the end of Jim's five-year mission. We see it here:

Ah, yes, a typical first date conversation: what Spock talks about. Well done, Jim. Saying "a friend of mine" doesn't make it less obvious; I did my Star Trek homework and I know you're quoting the basis of Vulcan philosophy to her :D

(Of course, now I won't stop imagining Jim casually mentioning Spock during every single date he has with someone… That would explain why his love stories never last…)

On a serious note, as I was working on this analysis I realized something extremely interesting about the context of Jim's lines. Jim is mentioning IDIC when he's questioning his future as a starship captain. He remembers that Spock talks about Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations, but Jim can only do one job. However, what will Spock tell him someday, right next to an IDIC flag?

Now, I don't know if the people who worked on the Valentine's Day comic really thought about this, but I think it's still, well, fascinating that Jim is using Spock's words to think about his own future, but he's following the wrong direction. I believe it's also worth pointing out that Spock will tell Jim that commanding a starship is his "first, best destiny" years after finding his own place in the universe. On the contrary, during the time this comic takes place, Spock is busy with his own inner distress.

Anyway, that's enough Spock for now. Back to Jim's first date with Laura…

So, I started this analysis with a question: how the hell do you write a love story with TOS Kirk in 2020? This is the way this comic tries to answer: you create a female character just like him.

Okay, they look cute together. Laura loves being a starship captain! She loves reading! And dancing! And climbing!

Wait, wait, wait. I appreciate the inclusion of Jim Kirk's canon hobbies. I really do! But aren't we forgetting one?

This is interesting. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but this makes me think that they didn't want Laura to have something in common with Spock. Spock is the character who plays chess the most in TOS, so I can see why the creators of the comic didn't want the readers to think about Spock instead of thinking about Jim's girlfriend. That would be too bad, huh? :)

There's also horseback riding missing, but that doesn't appear until the movies, so even if I personally believe that a farm boy like Jim learned how to ride horses when he was young, I can see why they skipped it in this comic. It's also mostly associated to another love interest (Antonia from Generations), but if this is the reason they didn't want to show Jim and Laura riding a horse, I'm just going to think even more that the lack of chess is suspicious, and they're counting Spock as one of the "girlfriends".

On the other hand, since horseback riding is associated to starship captains in TOS and TNG (I don't know about the other Star Trek TV series because I haven't watched them yet), I think it would have been a good idea to have one panel with Jim and Laura riding.

That said, if I had to make a guess about the real reason the comic doesn't show horses… I'm a doctor writer, not an artist, but I believe that drawing horses can be a pain in the ass, so in this comic they just didn't bother haha

Anyway, back to the plot! As I said, Jim and Laura's personalities are very alike. Of course, that doesn't mean they're perfect for each other, but I admit that this premise made me curious when I read this comic. Let's find out if it works out!

I'm posting this picture because of the book Laura is holding: first of all, this is where the title of this story, Captains of Sea and War, comes from. But it's also important to remember the book. You'll see why in Part 2. :)

So, two months later, Jim and Laura trust each other as captains without even talking:

We see Laura's other friend, probably her first officer, trying to warn her, just as Spock does on the Enterprise. I'm taking a little moment to appreciate "Noted, adored, and ignored, Commander", because it's really sweet. Imagine Jim telling this to Spock :D

So, the captains are right, and everything is good, because…

Okay, okay, wait a minute.

Apparently, one of the good things of this relationship is that Jim and Laura make a good team together. They don't even need to communicate to understand each other during a mission. Now… I don't even need to put my K/S goggles on to say that Jim and Spock are canonically one of the best teams in Starfleet, if not The best team. You don't need to ship them to know how many times they understand each other without words in the series, how many times they make plans and just know what the other will do, how many times Spock hears/sees someone that should be Jim and just knows something is wrong, and so on. Of course, as a Kirk/Spock shipper, reading in a Valentine's Day special that making a good team is good for Jim's love life makes me happy!

"Yep. All that sex didn't go to waste."

Jim. Jim. Are you saying that you and Laura are a good team in Starfleet because you had a lot of sex? I'm not even going to say what this makes me think as a K/S shipper… Did I say that Kirk and Spock are the best team? :D

Okay, okay, maybe it's not the same. Because Spock is a man, and Jim isn't attracted to men… right?

Ahem. I lost my mind when I read this for the first time, and I'm going to lose it again.

"There don't seem to have been many ladies in your life. Gentlemen, either." "Well, I've been busy."

Now, let's be honest here: Laura's lines didn't have to be phrased that way. We know Jim likes women, so even nowadays nobody would bat an eye at "there don't seem to have been many ladies in your life"; and if you're the writer of a very heterosexual comic who wants to avoid K/S shippers like me thinking "hehehe, because Jim has a man in his life", you can still write something neutral like "there don't seem to have been many lovers/romantic partners in your life". Or just a generic "it looks like you haven't been on many dates lately".

Laura mentioning "gentlemen" explicitly can make some readers think that men are an actual option for Jim. (Me, I'm "some readers".) Sure, it's not a confirmation, but Jim doesn't deny it. He just says he's been busy. There is room for interpretation in multiple directions, but even if I put my personal preference aside, I think it's important to remember something: in context, in this part of the story, Laura knows Jim. We've seen in a previous panel that they've done a lot of things together. Laura is not a stranger who may say "you don't have a girlfriend… or a boyfriend" because they don't know Jim. Personally, I think it's very likely that Laura asks about ladies and then adds gentlemen because she knows Jim is bisexual with a preference on women. It fits my headcanon for him. (Of course, he can be into anyone, not just men and women, and he has a preference for women because hasn't tried dating Spock yet :D)

Anyway, the other thing that panel points out is that neither captain would give up on their own starship. Well, that's fair.

Okay, okay, I'll be serious: Jim sacrifices the Enterprise in The Search for Spock during an emergency. Of course, it's definitely not a coincidence in the narrative that said emergency happens because Jim is looking for Spock's body. However, we all know how much Jim loves the Enterprise and how bad he feels without a starship, so it's only fair that in normal circumstances, he shouldn't be forced to give up on his "silver lady".

Laura understands that they're the same, so...

This is another thing I appreciated! Who cares about gender norms, a woman can propose to James T. Kirk! :D

Now, just as I said about the "gentlemen" line, it's important to think about the context of this proposal. When the two of them are drinking together, Laura says "I've been asking around about you". That means Jim and Laura's relationship is still casual, to the point that she could have expected him to have flings with other people too. Honestly, this is just my opinion, but I'm not even sure I'd call it exactly an open relationship, because that would still imply a relationship in the first place. I'm mostly referring to the fact that Laura has been asking around about Jim's love life instead of just, you know, asking him? I believe that if they trusted each other and were in an open romantic relationship, either they wouldn't care about each other's partners or they would just talk about it. Since Laura wants to marry Jim and have an exclusive relationship with him, it makes sense for her to bring up Jim's love life. However, I can't really help side-eyeing that "I've been asking around".

Am I reading too much into this? It's possible, but this is another clue about their dynamic that I'll mention later in the story.

Sooo, Laura asks Jim to marry him. What does Jim answer?

Unfortunately, I reached Tumblr limitations of the number of pictures I can share, so… you'll find out in Part 2!

If you're reading my analysis for the Kirk/Spock shipper's point of view, I especially recommend the second half, because that's where things get more interesting! :D

I hope you enjoyed the first part of this analysis! Thank you for reading until the end! See you soon!

Part 2!

[ladylamrian]

Female Main Character: Alex (F!MC)

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder

Summary: Nik prepared a surprise for Alex.

Word Count: 3.3K words

Rating: General (Fluff, Romance)

Warnings: none

Author's note: Inspired by this F!MC×Nik art commissioned by the sweet @stars-are-within-me and made by @artbyalz

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @lilyoffandoms ; @liviusofpella ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1 ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @choicesmonthlychallenge (March Challenge Prompts: Wildflowers, Nature) & @choicesaprilchallenge24 [April Prompts: Wildflowers, Nature, "You know, I may be a terrible dancer, but I've got great moves in bed." ; "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day." & "I'm not great at math, but we're a perfect match." ]

Comments via Reblog wholeheartedly welcome

"Nik, I'm back home!!!", Alex, his girlfriend announced in the evening as she entered the apartment which she was sharing with her boyfriend, Nik Ryder. Nik was delighted to see her.

He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her to greet her.

"I hope you had a good day, rook. I've been thinking of you all day."

"Really? I'm just tired."

"No wonder you must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. Do you want to lie down and relax? Or would you like me to make you some tea?", he chuckled.

"No, I'm fine.", she whispered without meeting his eyes.

"Everything all right? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing."

"Come on now, don't lie to me, rook. I know when something's not right. Tell me.", he requested while trying to make eye contact with her.

"Nik, we don't spend much time together anymore which is sad."

"I know, baby, but you've got to understand that both of us have big responsibilities at work. While I protect the city at night, you're handling Lamrian at day. But don't you worry, that's gonna change someday and we'll have all the time we want again like before.", he wasn't sure but still tried to assure his girlfriend.

"Thanks, I hope so too."

Nik kissed her again, more passionately, and caressed her cheek before answering.

"I love you, Alex.", he whispered. While holding her by the hand, he walked inside the living room with his girl, hugging her from time to time.

"Hey rook, are you hungry? I made pasta for dinner."

"Yummy, pasta!!!"

He smiled widely at her cute reaction.

"I know you love pasta. Wait here, let me go prepare everything."

After some time preparing dinner and setting the table, both were seated at the table. Nik served her some pasta, then he served himself. Both silently ate until she spoke.

"You know what day tomorrow will be?", she asked.

"Tomorrow's Friday. Why are you asking?"

"I know it's Friday, but it's a special day."

"What day are you referring to, baby?", he asked her while looking a little puzzleed.

"Think!!"

After a moment of silence, he realized what she was referring to and he smiled gently.

"Of course, tomorrow is your birthday!! You're turning 26. I can't believe it's already been one whole year, rook."

"You remembered my birthday!!"

"Of course, I remembered!! But thanks for reminding me again, I was thinking about it this morning and the past few days. Can't believe it just slipped so easily out of my mind. So yeah, I haven't forgotten your birthday, babe. I love you and it is a special day for you!! I have something prepared for tomorrow, just wait and see, Alex."

"But you still forgot something. Nik, tomorrow isn't only my birthday, but also our very first anniversary. I met you one year ago for the very first time. We may not have been dating at that time then, but don't you think we should celebrate that too?"

"Damn, I forgot about that?! Now, I feel terrible for forgetting the date of our celebration. Sorry, forgive me. I'll make it up to you, I swear. Tomorrow there will be two parties in one!!", he laughed a little, but still felt terrible about forgetting their very first and special day.

Alex was now silent and continued finishing her pasta. But there was something about her silence that bothered him. The past few days were rough for him and decided to confess something.

"Rook, I'm really happy with you and I feel really lucky. I'm not great at math, but we're a perfect match. You're my soulmate. But we haven't been spending so much time together anymore and it's starting to worry me too. I hope you didn't think that I wouldn't notice, but you always looked so busy and tired and there are times when, to be honest, it feels like... like... I'm a bother. Am I imagining this, or do you...?", Nik looked very upset while confessing.

"Oh Nik, you're never a bother. I love you. You're my heart, my soul, my everything."

"Are you serious, rook?"

"Yes, baby."

He sighed in relief before answering back.

"Damn, I was starting to overthink things. It's just that when I see you tired and overworked... I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel pressured by me. Because if that was the case, my love, it would break my heart."

"Oh, I'm so sorry you thought like this. It's not because of you. I'm soooo sorry to make you feel that way. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive, my love. You mean a lot to me and I'm sorry if I've been annoying to you. You know that you're important to me, I just wanted to clarify that with you. But now everything's fine, you don't have to worry anymore. Now let's just focus on having a great anniversary tomorrow... Okay?", he gently whispered in her ear while caressing her cheek.

"You're not annoying, Nik."

"Thank you, babe. I love you, Alex.", he confessed then planted a quick but gentle kiss on her cheek.

"So, are we good now?"

"Of course, we're good now, my love. There's nothing more in the world I want than to see you smile."

"Thanks, Nik. You're the best."

He smiled, took her hand and pulled her gently to his chest.

"No, you're the best, my dear. You're beautiful inside and out. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much."

"Love you too!"

He pulled her even closer to his chest and kissed her hair.

"I'll make sure you have the best day tomorrow."

I feel so lucky with you, Nik.", she confessed which made him smile even more while he caressed her cheek.

"I can say the same for you, Alex, but it's not a thing of luck, it's meant to be. As I said, you are my soulmate, my dream woman, my partner and the love of my life. You're the reason why I get up every day with so much motivation to face the world. Don't ever forget how much you mean to me, okay?", he pulled her to him again and kissed the top of her head, very lovingly. Then he spoke again.

"It's getting late, tomorrow we have a big day, and we need to get some rest. What do you say?"

"I agree! I can't wait for tomorrow."

He let her go and both headed toward their bedroom to sleep. Nik was very excited, he had prepared a surprise party for her. Will he be able to sleep tonight at all with his excitement? Both were looking forward happily for the next day.

Nik just put the final touches on everything. His planned surprise for his girlfriend must go perfectly. He requested her to come earlier today from Lamrian so they could celebrate together. A knock on the door made his heart beat faster. He ran to the door and opened it, revealing the love of her life who looked more beautiful than ever. A big smile appeared on her face. He was stunned by her beauty. Speechless he couldn't take his eyes off her. Both stepped closer to each other with a tender look in their eyes. While Nik Ryder was wearing a suit, Alex wore an elegant dress with matching high heels.

"Nik...", she suddenly stumbled as she entered, but Nik quickly grabbed her to prevent her from falling.

"Are you all right, darling?", he anxiously asked.

"Yes. Hello, Nik!!", she smiled.

"You look amazing, I like that outfit on you. I can't believe you decided to wear the maroon-colored dress with the golden body chain that I once bought for you. My Maroon Majesty."

"Of course. Thanks!! Nik, you have great taste and I love this dress. By the way, you look very handsome, Nik.", she sweetly giggled.

"Ah thanks, I know I am. But I'm a bit nervous, I want to make this day perfect for you. The truth is that I was dying to see you. Hope you like what I've planned, my rook."

Then Nik leaned forward and kissed her. He caressed her cheeks and pulled her even closer to him. His eyes met hers while whispering in a low tone in the ear.

"I've been waiting all day for this moment. You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day.", he chuckled then.

"I'm glad to hear it, that makes me happy.", she giggled then too.

Like a true gentleman, the boyfriend helped his girlfriend take off her coat and took her hand to go sit down.

"Please, come on, let's have a wonderful dinner."

Taking her hand in his, they walked to the dining table. Nik seated her by pulling her chair, then he sat down on another chair in front of her. The candles illuminated him and made him look even more handsome. There was a romantic atmosphere and as the two of them gazed at each other, he squeezed her hand tenderly.

The young man hesitated before he continued.

"I know we've been dating for a year now and we've been doing great but... I wanted to tell you something that's been in my head for quite a while and I can't keep it secret..."

"What? What it is?", she suddenly became surprised about the sudden turn. She worried, held her breath and waited for him to continue. He looked very serious at her.

"The truth is that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want to know what you think about the idea... I want to know what you think, do you think you'd ever want to marry me?"

"What??!!! But you never wanted to marry, Nik."

"Look dear, I know I told you from the beginning that I wasn't interested in marriage. It's true, but with time some things have changed. I'm surprised by myself too, but... When you find the right person, you change, and in my case... I've found you.", he confessed, gently took her hand and kissed it sweetly which made Alex's heart almost melt.

"Oh, Nik... Am I dreaming or are you saying this?"

"Well, you pushed the wall with the bricks I've built. You just couldn't stay on your goddamn side cuz you're are too stubborn, dear. So I want to marry you someday. Not now, but someday. I want you to be mine and only mine. I get jealous when other people try to flirt or even try to impress you. I want you to be mine only and I only your's. I want you to be my wife one day. But... Not now."

"And what about children?", she teased.

"Uhhh, well. I... Alex, I... I thought..."

"Nik, don't worry. I was just teasing. You've made me already so happy with the marriage confession, dear. Thanks for making this day even more special than before. That's great news and I will patiently wait for the day or night when you will finally propose to me because now I have hope."

"Unless I change my mind."

"No!!! Don't you dare, future husband!!", she warned him which made him laugh.

But let's go ahead and eat.", he suggested, serving her meal first, then himself. Both started eating, looking at you with a satisfied smile and with eyes full of love.

After dinner, it was time for a sweet dessert.

Nik took her hand and led her to a big table decorated with a romantic cake, candles and flowers surrounding it. He gently cut a piece and fed her.

"Mmmhhh, yummy. I feel like I'm in heaven. So creamy.

"Glad you like it."

"Nik, sid Cal help you with the cake?", she raised her eyebrow while staring at him.

"How... How did you know? I mean, I... Yes... Yes, you caught me, rook. Wolf guy helped me with the cake, but I swear I did the rest all by myself.", he panicked which made her just giggle.

"Well, Cal gave a lot of treats so my pretty brain immediately sensed that it was one of his excellent creations. Mmmmh, the buttercream.", she swooned a little.

"Yeah, Cal is great at baking and all. I get it, I get it. Now let's just focus on both of us, okay.", he rolled his eyes. He just wanted to turn their day into something special and only about them.  But Nik was still thankful for Cal's help. He definitely wouldn't have arranged a cake on such short notice since he was already busy with other preparations. Maybe next time he'll order earlier, directly from a cake shop.

After each ate a piece of cake, it was time for the next surprise.

Nik led Alex into their bedroom which was beautifully decorated. She was stunned by the view. It's a room with their bed covered by a romantic canopy and many candles around it. The ceiling had red heart-shaped balloons attached to it and there were red roses spread everywhere. He pulled her into his arms and watched her with tenderness.

"Just for you dear, I have prepared everything.", he whispered and planted a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Nik, this is so romantic. Roses are my favorite flowers. And rose petals on the bed? Wow, so gorgeous!!! Thank you, my sweetheart!!!!"

"Now, shall we spend a little time here alone, my love? After dessert, we could burn some calories together on bed.", he winked.

"I love your playful side, my love."

He took her by the hand and led her towards their double bed. Gently pushing her playfully back, he let her sit on the bed.

"Oh, before I forget... I bought a gift for you."

He opened a gift box for her, revealing a beautifully, bejeweled necklace.

"This is for you, honey. I hope you like it."

"Eeeek, this is so pretty!!! So sparkly!! Thanks, but it looks too expensive."

"Expensive? For the future Duchess of Lamrian?? Hey, you have to accept. I bought it for you only. Don't look at the price but at my love."

"But Nik, I..."

"Rook, please."

"Nik..."

"Look, the price was nothing for me. Remember the six figures I got from protecting you? The million dollars? It was only because of you, that's why I decided to spend them all on you and your happiness. They're yours. It's our money, baby. You're worth it."

"I see, but still."

"Seriously? You know, you're the most stubborn person I have ever met.", he was about to lose his patience.

"Okay, okay, I accept. Sorry, I was just... It's so pretty. So sweet of you, Nik. I suggest that we should invest or save the money for our future. But for now, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Nik. Thanks, but I sadly have no gift for you right now."

Nik shook his head as he caressed her neck and pulled her close.

"You don't need to give me a gift, because seeing you happy and beeimg with me is my best gift. But just so you know, I'm not done yet with the surprises. You know, I may be a terrible dancer, but I've got great moves in bed.", he winked.

"Oh..."

Later, after a passionate moment in their bedroom, it was time for the last surprise. He lead her outside. Tonight was a beautiful night, the moonlight created the perfect atmosphere for some romance.

He looked her straight in the eyes, holding her hand.

"We're going to a special place, so you gotta close your eyes for a sec?"

Nik waited for her reaction with anticipation, hoping she would trust him and agree to close her eyes. He couldn't contain his happiness and satisfaction by getting her to agree to close the eyes. With closed eyes, she waited for the next step.

"Okay, great! Now hold my hand and just keep walking, keep your eyes closed but don't open them at all until I tell you okay? And most importantly since I know you very well... Don't even peak!!"

"Okay, fine. I won't open my eyes till you allow me, I promise."

He led her a little further and she could feel a gentle breeze on her face. After a few minutes, he suddenly stopped. The sound of birds and a stream of water running were to hear. Alex waited a few seconds, Nik caressed her cheek a little and after a while, he finally told her to open her eyes. A romantic and very beautiful spot in the middle of the forest. A quiet place, with a waterfall running over the stones and making a sound that gave an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity. The moonlight illuminated the water and reflected its light. Colorful wildflowers everywhere. The entire place was filled with flowers. The aroma in the air was divine. A very romantic atmosphere perfect for two loving people. On the fresh grass, Alex discovered a blanket.

"We're in the bayou, Nik. Your favorite place on this planet and where we shared our first kiss.", she recognized.

He leaned forward, kissed her softly on the lips, and then whispered.

"That's right, rook. Where we both kissed for the first time. Happy Birthday to you and a very Happy Anniversary to us."

Later, Alex decided to give her boyfriend a gift too since he worked so hard to make her happy and their day memorable. A little gift for her beloved Nik. Sadly she hadn't bought anything for him and shops were already closed, so she decided to quickly slip into their bedroom and then return to him. Nik was patiently waiting for her in the bayou, not aware of her plan. She finally returned to him with her loyal violin in her hand.

"Should I play for you?"

It caught him by surprise at how unexpected it was. Then he glanced at her face, a look that let her understand how much he liked the idea.

"Yeah, I would love to hear you play."

Nik sat Alex on a large rock near the small river and leaned on the rock himself next to her, with curiosity and expectation in his eyes. He watched her with tender affection, waiting.

The way Alex played her instrument touched a deep cord in him as if he seemed to be transported in his world by the melody. Even though she played a romantic song, she noticed that the rhythm was more slow and melancholy now. He looked at her with adoration and admiration, enjoying her music fully. Until finally, he whispered.

"You're the most beautiful woman on earth and I love you."

[bellebridgerton]

Best Buddies: Chapter 3 (Modern Benedict Bridgerton x plus size!fem!reader)

✨Masterlist✨

✨Last Chapter✨

Benedict fastened his cufflinks onto his sleeves, "Love, are you ready?"

"I'm almost ready, I need your help," Y/n walked into his bedroom from the bathroom, having just finished her makeup. She turned her back to Benedict, "Could you zip me up?"

Benedict placed his hand on her waist, drawing her closer to himself. Selfishly, his eyes ate up the sight of her exposed skin while they could. Benedict gently zipped up the back of her dress, "This dress is lovely."

Y/n turned around and smiled, "Thank you, your mum picked it out."

"She has good taste, I must say," He smiled, not shy about checking her out in the dress, but it wasn't anything new, they loved to flirt.

Y/n blushed, looking up at Benedict, "I'm glad you like it, she has great taste." She slipped on her heels and checked her hair one last time in the mirror.

Benedict looked at her through the mirror, "You look perfect, don't worry, everyone will love you."

Y/n turned around and placed her hands on his chest, "Thank you, Benny."

He chuckled, "Someday, you must find a better nickname for me." He grabbed his weekend bag and car keys, "Let's go, love."

Y/n picked up her clutch purse and weekend bag, "I'm right behind you."

Benedict locked the front door of their flat after them, then pocketed his keys, walking down the stairs with Y/n. He kept an eye on her and a hand on her back, it made him nervous when she walked down stairs in heels.

Y/n felt the nervousness radiating from Benedict, "You need not worry about me, I'm perfectly fine to walk in heels. I'm a big girl, Benny." She entered the parking garage as Benedict held the door open for her, "Thank you." Y/n made a bee line for Benedict's car, her fingertips lightly grazing the rear of her car as she passed it.

Benedict took her weekend bag from her hand, putting it, along with his, in the boot of his car. He moved to open the passenger door for Y/n, "Ladies first."

Y/n blushed softly and smiled, sitting down in the car, "Such a gentleman, I can only imagine how well your future girlfriend will be treated."

Benedict rounded the front of the car and she buckled herself in, he muttered to himself, "If only you knew, love." He climbed into his seat, turning the car on.

Once on the road, Benedict's hand found purchase on Y/n's thigh, while Y/n's hand rested around his bicep. They sat in a comfortable silence, filled with music they loved and the occasional comment or joke. They didn't need the constant conversation, they were enjoying the moment.

~

Upon arriving at Benedict's family's country home, Aubrey Hall, Benedict parked his car and gently patted Y/n's thigh, "Ready to party? I'll take our bags up, you join the fun, and I'll catch up with you." Y/n was about to protest, possibly suggest that she'd help him with the bags, but Benedict spoke, "Go, have fun, I won't be long at all." He leapt out of the car, quick to the passenger side, opening the door for her.

Y/n took the hand Benedict offered to her as she stepped out of the car. He thought she looked like a celebrity, styled to perfection and poised like royalty. Y/n looked up at him, she could have sworn he looked like a prince that night. She smiled, "Fine, don't be long." She kissed his cheek in parting and made her way to the courtyard where she heard chatter coming from.

Benedict carried the weekend bags into the home and made his way to his room, placing his bag on his bed. He trekked around the house, looking for a suitable room for Y/n, but all seemed to be occupied by guest's belongings. Benedict walked down to the kitchen and caught his mother, "Mother, I was wondering if there was a room for Y/n to stay in."

Violet smiled, "Hello to you too, dearest. I had assumed you two would be sharing a room, you are so very close with one another. Is that a problem, dearest?" Violet was no fool, she knew exactly what she was doing.

Benedict nodded, "It's fine, Mother, I'll inform her of the sleeping arrangement." He kissed her cheek, then walked back up to his bedroom, resting Y/n's bag next to his on his bed.

~

Y/n was greeted by Daphne, she hugged Daphne close, "Hello, Daph, how is my favorite graduate?" She had known Daphne since Daphne was only eight years old. Daphne always saw Y/n as the older sister she never had.

Daphne returned the hug and smiled, "I'm well, I have missed you around the house though."

Y/n held Daphne's hand, "I have missed you too, my little flower, and we have all weekend to catch up."

Daphne smiled wide, excited to spend time with her chosen sister. Daphne saw Benedict approaching, "Hello, Brother, glad to see you made it."

Benedict gave her a side hug and kissed her head, "You as well, Daphne." He moved to rest his hand on Y/n's lower back, enjoying seeing Y/n be a part of his family, it was as if she was already his, in a way. Benedict gently guided her, "Daph, if you'll excuse us, I'd like to introduce Y/n to more of our family."

Daphne smiled, understanding, "Have fun, and Y/n, I'll see you later, I must steal you from my brother soon this weekend."

Y/n smiled, "Of course, my flower." She cupped Daphne's jaw in her hands and kissed Daphne's forehead. Daphne was Y/n's flower because Daphne always brought Y/n flowers she'd picked. Daphne blushed and nodded, going off to find her younger siblings.

~

After a long night of introductions, Benedict lead Y/n to his bedroom, but not before Violet intercepted the pair. She smiled warmly, clearly tipsy, "My dearests!" She hugged Y/n close and a bit tight, "You look marvelous, love. Thank you for coming, the party would not have been the same without you. You are a Bridgerton, dearest, in every way that matters." Violet couldn't think of anyone better for her second son to be with.

Y/n couldn't help but grin, "Thank you, Violet, that means so much to me."

Violet touched Y/n's cheek, "I know I'm not sober right now, but I meant every word, dearest. I should retire for the night. Goodnight." She looked at Benedict, "Goodnight, dearest. Take care of our Y/n."

Benedict kissed his mother's cheek, "I always do. Goodnight, Mother." He opened his bedroom door for Y/n, she walked through and Benedict closed the door behind them, "She's right, you know, you are a Bridgerton in every way that matters. My whole family loves you."

Y/n pulled a pin out of her hair, letting it fall down over her shoulders, "I love your family. They fuss over me like my family fusses over you. I'm sure sometimes my mother prefers you and your artistic soul to my analytical brother."

Benedict chuckled as he removed his bowtie, "Your mother is an artistic soul, she must be where you get yours from." He slipped off his tux coat, "Are you sure you're comfortable sharing a bed?" Benedict was more than happy to share his bed with her, but he didn't want to cross any boundaries that would make her uncomfortable.

Y/n slipped her heels off, "Of course, it wouldn't be the first time we shared a bed, Benny."

Benedict nodded, "It wouldn't be, but it's not quite the same environment."

Y/n entered the connected bathroom, washing the make-up off her face, "We have shared a bed here before."

Benedict leaned in the doorway, "Yes, but it was just us and my immediate family, not extended family and other guests."

Y/n patted her face dry with a small towel, "I suppose that's true, but anyhow, I don't see us sharing a bed as a problem."

Benedict nodded, "I don't either, I just wanted to make sure that you're comfortable with sharing a bed with me."

Y/n turned to look at Benedict, "You are sweet, Benny." She walked past him, opening her weekend bag and retrieving her pajamas; Benedict's school shirt from secondary school and shorts that hugged her bum just right.

After changing into her pajamas, she walked back into the bedroom and looked in the mirror. She was never thin, but she had accepted that, and normally she was confident, but everyone is allowed a moment of insecurity.

Benedict could sense her internal debate, he stood behind her, resting his hands on her waist, "Hey, you are beautiful, never doubt that."

Y/n rested her head on his shoulder, "Thank you."

Benedict gently squeezed her waist, "You are. The Greeks sculpted beautiful goddesses who could be your twin."

Y/n turned around in his arms, burying her face in his shoulder, "Thank you." Her words carried a tone of acceptance and appreciation. She always found comfort and solace in his arms. She looked up at him, "Why are you still mostly in your suit? It's been a long day, get comfortable."

Benedict kissed her head, then opened his weekend bag, picking out a comfortable cotton t-shirt and loose fitting pajama pants. He entered the bathroom and changed clothes, finding the need to tuck his member into his waistband in an effort to hide his boner the best he could. He had been sporting one since he saw her in her party gown, but he was a gentleman, and he wouldn't impose himself on her.

Upon exiting the bathroom, Benedict picked up his box of cigarettes. He knew it was a nasty habit, one he wanted to kick, but it was hard. He stepped out onto the balcony of his bedroom, overlooking the courtyard.

Y/n walked out into the opposite side of the balcony, "Benedict, I do wish you'd quit that terrible habit. I want you around for as long as possible, in the best possible condition, at that."

Benedict took a drag of his cigarette, "So you don't want me to smoke cigarettes, but joints are fine?"

Y/n raised an eyebrow at him, "You won't get cancer from weed, Benny."

Benedict nodded and finished his cigarette, "I know, love. I want to quit, I do." He touched her waist and pulled her close, he went to kiss her forehead, but felt her hand on his chest.

Y/n gently patted Benedict's chest, "How about this for motivation, you cannot kiss me at all until you've kicked the cigarettes."

Benedict couldn't have come up with a better motivation if he tried.

✨Next Chapter ✨

Taglist: @coolepowersthings @khaylin27 @m-rae23

[swiftsdelucaa]

HEYYY i haven’t been here in ages!! but i’m back here at 1 am with headcanon requests and i cannot wait for them to be done (no pressure, ofc)!

how about fem!reader dating/being married to callie torres or jackson avery while also being a surgeon?

i think that would be great especially as you’ve already done two of my requests and they were amazing… i’m just addicted to your blog HAHA

have a great day <3

i’m also season 7 now and i remember when i was at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2 and first seeing your blog; time fliesss

❛ 𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝑻𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Callie Torres x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: Hi! I'm happy you're back ahah, yes time flies :) omg I'm glad to knowing that someone apprecciates me and my blog 😂💕😭 Sorry if it took a little long, I'm just busy with school and other things, but soon I'll post this one for Jackson too! Have a good time bestiee <333

Your wedding will never be forgotten by anyone. It was an awesome ceremony, all the people you cared about the most were present and made that day even more special than it already was.

You loved Callie so much, you still didn't believe you were married to her, and she made you feel the same way. There have been ups and downs in your relationship, but what you felt for each other was so strong that you had gotten you all this far together, and would have you bonded for a long time to come.

Due to different specialties, you didn't see each other often at work, and waiting for the evening to come home was so frustrating every day! So you often took advantage of it during the breaks, even if you almost always didn't notice how much time was passing and ended up being late, consequently you missed some surgeries...

When you came back later she liked to surprise you in any possible way. She always managed to impress you, making you think every time "Wow, I can't believe this woman it's my wife", and they always ended the same way, with long nights of fun.

Not being great cooks, often when you can, you order take-away food, sit on the sofa and watch films and TV series, which you usually choose by making one evening each. But since you are exhausted after long shifts, you end up falling asleep in an embrace, feeling each other's presence and making you feel safe.

When one of you was sad or angry, you did everything to improve the other's mood. If one of you didn't feel well, it was even able to make the other feels almost broken, because happiness was one of those things you cared about the most, and that has always accompanied your relationship. In short, in times of need you were always available.

Kids? It's something you've talked about often. Becoming a mom was one of your greatest wishes, you even planned to get pregnant at the same moment!

One thing you didn't agree on was the type of vacation to plan. You were the type of beach and sea, you would have loved to spend time in places like Spain or Italy. While Callie was more of a tourist type who liked to visit new and interesting places, surely caused by her great curiosity. Yes, you had completely different ideas about this, but you promised to do both someday. It would have been an interesting experience, also a great way to understand each other's tastes.

"I love you" you repeat it to her often. You're sure she knows it, but you also know that she just need to hear it over and over again, and you always like to repeat it.

Of course, always reserving special moments for your anniversaries. Well, in addition to good sex that gets better on that day, you fill yourself with gifts, go out, have fun, even if the presence of the other is enough for you, and that's why you continue to remember that day with joy, that's all you do than to be thankful for what you have.

[integra1127grimmreaper]

The Replacement - Part thirty-two

Negan Masterlist

Series Masterlis

Part 31

Warning: swearing

After Maggie's plan to dispatch of the Commonwealth soldiers had been a success; everyone had made it to a much safer area to regroup.

You were making the rounds of the room to ensure all was doing well, when noticing Negan making his way over to Hershel.

"You and I have some unfinished business, don't we?" Negan remarks. Hershel doesn't respond, merely silently stares at him.

"Tell you what? You go back with your mom. Help her rebuild your home, in a few years; when you've grown up a bit, come find me. And I promise you, we will settle it."

Hershel continues to remain silent as Negan nods understandingly until Maggie enters the room and he walks away toward you.

"What did you say to him?" you nervously stare toward Maggie and her son as the boy stoically stares you both done.

"Told him; if he wants to settle the score someday, then I'll be waiting."

"Are you insane?!" you scoff at your husband in disbelief as he shrugs in response.

"It took his father from him before he was born... the kid has a valid grudge."

"I fuckin' know that!" you hiss in disapproval at his logic.

"But did you forget, that if he settles that grudge; then your child will be without a father as well?"

"I didn't think that far."

"Of course, you didn't!" you lightly whack him on top the head.

"Ouch! Shit. That hurt..." Negan cries out in complaint as he rubs his head.

"Oh, quit complaining... I didn't even hit you that hard" you scold him, hearing a soft giggle coming from Hershel's direction. His face instantly goes back to a serious stance when you look toward him yet noticing the silent humordo  still in his eyes; you wink at him as you silently smirk.

"You did that on fuckin' purpose, didn't ya?" Negan grumble out, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.

"To knock some sense into that thick head of yours, yes. Fact that the kid found it amusing was a bonus."

"Ya gonna make a great mom..." Negan utters, staring at you lovingly.

"I'll be an even greater one if I can keep my child's father alive" you retort.

"C'mon, Baby... ya can't honestly be that mad at me?"

"Yes, I can" you state matter-of-factly, warning him then.

"Just don't do anything stupid."

"I ain't the one doing stupid things while pregnant" Negan grumbles under his breath.

"What was that...?" you stare at him through narrowed eyes.

"Nothing, Dear..." Negan flashes you a nervous grin, you roll your eyes at him.

"C'mon, let's find out what the next plan is so we can all make it out of here alive."

Your back was killing you after the fast pace that had to be taken to get to safety in one of the old Whisperers hideouts.

"Hey, you ok?" a concerned Negan gently brushes your hair out your face.

"Yeah, baby's just a bit heavy on the back right now" you softly moan, massaging your back to relieve some of the pressure.

Negan frowns in concern at your discomfort, "Maybe you should-", a repeat of signally knocks onto the hideout's door interrupts him midsentence.

A few moments pass when the door finally opens to reveal, Lydia, along with Maggie, Hershel and two others.

"Maggie" Negan remarks in greeting, noticing Hershel then.

"Hey, kid."

Maggie, Negan, Annie and you had stepped away from the group to discuss on what plan action needed to be taken with the situation.

"Are you sure this guy; Horsby is coming?" Annie enquires.

"Yes, Elijah spotted a few of 'em five miles outside our walls last night" Maggie replies, turning toward where Negan and you were leaning against a tree then.

"Thoughts?"

"You helped us..." Negan states, looking at your belly deep in thought.

"And I am grateful. And I got no problem watching the kid, at all. But Y/N... my wife; is heavily pregnant. So, there is no way I'm gonna sit in some Whisperer-wormhole, while you're out... I don't know; saving some shitshow of a home that's not worth saving."

"Negan, shut the fuck up" you scowl at him in disapproval.

"Actually, he's right" Maggie comments.

"Maybe, Hilltop isn't worth saving. But those people are... it's a fight that I started with Horsby. It's not gonna end until I end it."

Negan sighs shaking his head, "yeah, I got no doubt you will. But I also got no doubt, that you are firmly at cross ends with this; Lance-asshole. So, I'm coming with you."

"No" Maggie shakes her head.

"I'll finish it."

"Maggie we can help fight" Annie offers but Maggie shuts her down.

"No, please. I need you to stay here... with Hershel and the others. Keep them away from Hilltop" turning her attention toward you then.

"She looks like she could give birth at any time, it's too dangerous and she'll need both of you."

"Giving birth underground ain't the saftest either," Negan mutters under his breath.

"I know, that's why I'm praying we'll finish this before it happens" Maggie comment, looking to in sympathy (regardless of your relationship with Negan; you had been a valued member of Alexandria and had always kind to Hershel.)

"Hershel trusts you and I know as a mother; you'll do everything to protect him."

"He doesn't exactly trust me, you know" Negan remarks. Maggie pauses, deep in thought for a second.

"But I'm starting to. You saved him, at Riverbend... whatever else happens, or whatever else had happened; I will never forget that."

Negan lets out a sigh of defeat, "you have big balls, Maggie Rhee... I got you. And I got your boy."

Nodding in silent relief, Maggie turns back toward you.

"You mind if I run some ideas by you? Daryl told me you were good with planning such things."

"Sure" you faintly smile, the moment interrupted then by the sound of the locust swarm gathering above.

"Shit" Negan remarks as everyone stares up it.

"If that ain't sign from the Man from upstairs..." 

Part 33

tag list: @rockey258 @ultrasweetnephilim @twd-fanfics @starry-night-20 @dellsdeath  @vaaalexandra @thatgirljayy @aleemendoza2425-blog @conrzd​ @tonysterco​     @igotmajordaddyissues

[lunareyes-shifts]

Tyde rises

the part of the show where I get to ramble about one of my Drs!

star of the week🥁🥁🥁🥁

surprise, it's not the owl house (though someday)

Today, it's Avatar: The Last Airbender!

Born from two different fathers, we share one loving mother. Aang was sent off before me, as they figured there was only one avatar and he was born more recently. As our family moved along the coast, a few Air Nomads came across me and tested me. I thought it was a little dumb, but played along. Next thing I knew, I was shipped off to the Western Air Temple. I trained there for years and, despite starting late, grew faster than any of my peers. I realized I was a boy and, after telling the nuns, they allowed me to stay, saying knowledge transcending our physical vessels and whatnot. I excelled at water and air control. But, eventually, my mentor told me that I would have to reunite with Aang, and that there were two avatars. I freaked out. How would Aang feel about meeting a brother who he thought was his sister, that he barely knew?

In this dr, I'm Aang's older brother and kinda the bonus to the avatar. There's two spirits in this reality, but there have only ever been two avatars in times of great desperation. Foreseeing what would happen, the spirits put me into the world. Raava and Rta (order) melded with Wan and his brother, Yu Ni (with you), and they helped restore balance. Centuries go by without the reincarnation of dual avatars, so that story becomes legend and Yu Ni and Rta are regarded as fiction. So when they’re discovered, as Aang and I were, they’re kept separate, to dissuade any possible fear or speculation as nothing momentous had happened yet. Obviously, that doesn't last long

lil picrew

I flew off and crashed in the sea, and I panicked, and while drowning, screamed for Aang. He heard me, through the avatar state. So Aang and I froze at the same time, albeit across the world. After he discovers what happened to the air nomads, his avatar state breaks me out of my ice. I wake up scared and alone in a world that’s nothing like what I knew, just off the coast of Kyoshi Island. After a bit of swimming, I end up there. I meet Aang a day and a half later. The locals take nicely to me, but become wary after realizing there’s a second Avatar, because it shouldn’t be possible. But it is, because the spirits knew Aang could not save the world on his own. so yippee, there's me!!!

My robe is a token from my dad, who was from the northern water tribe, and the orange shawl is from the southern air temple that was shipped to us when they were planning to tell Aang he was the avatar and what it would mean.

Officially, I meet the gaang when they get to Kyoshi Island, and from there, tiptoe around mentioning the whole trans thing until the end where aang almost drowns. When he doesn't, he's like "you are.. different than I was told" and I'm like "still avatar tho :D"

I get my air bending tattoos for making the spicy toss (because I am of the owl house 😔) which is throwing two fireballs in the air and spreading them with air. it doesn't really hurt anyone unless focused, in which case it would be two quick swipes of fire and then forced and focused with air, though it makes the air uncomfortably dry.

Toph and I vibe in a way that's the equivalent of "you're my friend. we're having soft tacos later" but she could beat me up!

Sokka and I are insufferable jokesters but I still bear with him in the serious stuff better than the rest of the gaang.

Aang is really awkward at first, but he eases up once we have a bonding episode.

Katara and I are the group therapists, but since I have seniority, I always make sure I hear her out. (my waiting room therapist gets all this tea.)

So yeah! all fun times! I'll spin a wheel or something for my next dr rant!

[braveclementine]

General Ross

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Try to remember the kind of September When grass was green. . .

"Wake up dear, and say goodbye to your father." Tony's mothers voice stopped singing to say. Her fingers played flawlessly against the piano as Tony watched his white haired, much older father lift the blanket off of young Tony's face, who was sleeping on the couch.

"Whose the homeless person on the couch?" Howard Stark asked, buttoning his suit jacket. Tony smiled, watching young Tony sit up with a santa hat upon his head.

"This is why I love coming home for Christmas," Young Tony said. "right before you leave town."

"Be nice, dear, he's been studying abroad."

"Really? Which broad? What's her name?"

"Candice." Young Tony said while Howard plucked the Santa hat off of his head.

"Do me a favour? Try not to burn the house down before Monday."

"Okay, so it's Monday? That is good to know. I will plan my toga party accordingly. Where you going?"

"Your father's flying us to the Bahamas for a little getaway."

"We might have to make a quick stop." Howard said.

"At the pentagon. Right." Young Tony replied. "Don't worry, you're going to love the holiday menu at the commissary." Young Tony replied to his mother.

"They say sarcasm is a metric for potential." Howard replied. "If that's true, you'll be a great man someday." And then to his wife, "I'll get the bags."

"He does miss you when you're not here." Mrs. Stark said as Howard left the room. "And frankly, you're going to miss us." She said, getting up off the bench. "Because this is the last time we're all going to be together. You know what's about to happen." She said, slinging her purse onto her shoulder.

Young Tony nodded as his mother ran her hand up his arm. "Say something." Howard entered the room. "If you don't, you'll regret it."

"I love you Dad." Young Tony said. "And I know you did the best you could." He said to his mother. She kissed his cheek and then Young Tony was left, watching his two parents walk off the set.

"That's how I wished it happened." Tony said, addressing the crowd that he was standing in front of now. A group of college students, all in the engineering field. "Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing or BARF. God, I gotta work on that acronym. An extremely costly method of hijacking the hippocampus to clear traumatic memories."

He pretended to blow out the candle, but that couldn't happen because it wasn't a reality and he let out a small laugh, "It doesn't change the fact that they never made it to the airport or all the things I did to avoid processing my grief, but,"

He took off the glasses and the entire, familiar home scene around him started to dissolve, "Plus, Six hundred and eleven million for my little therapeutic experiment? No one in their right mind would've ever funded it. Help me out, what's the MIT mission statement?"

"To generate, disseminate, and preserve knowledge." Tony said as the college students chanted it with him at the same time. "And work with others to bring it to bear on the world's great challenges. Well, you are the others. And, quiet as its kept the challenges facing you are the greatest mankinds ever known. Plus, most of you are broke."

He got laughter from the crowd on that one. Didn't stop it from being true either.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Rather, you were. As of this moment, every student has been made an equal recipient of the inaugural September Foundation Grant." Students started to murmur, talking to each other in whispers, "As in, all of your projects have just been approved and funded."

The crowd broke into slight screams, cheering, and whispers.

"No strings, no taxes, just reframe the future! Starting now," He paused when he saw that he was supposed to introduce Pepper Hogan. His heart clenched because she hadn't been talking to him recently.

"Go break some eggs." He said quickly and then turned, dazedly walking off the stage. Fuck he'd forgotten all about the horrible fight with Pepper until that moment.

"Wow! Wow! That took my breath away." He was aware of one of the college head of departments touching him, trying to get his attention. "Oh, Tony! So generous. So much money! Wow!" He laughed awkwardly. "Out of curiosity, will any portion of that grant be made available to faculty? I know, 'Ooh gross,' but hear me out. I have got this killer idea for a self-cooking hot dog. Basically, chemical detonator embedded-"

"Restrooms this way, yeah?" Tony interrupted, pointing.

"Yeah. Embedded in the meat shaft."

A blond lady stepped in front of him, "Mr. Stark I am so sorry about the teleprompter. I didn't know Mrs. Hogan had canceled. They didn't have time to fix it."

He stopped walking as she was trying to walk backwards and talk to him face on at the same time. He gently touched her arm in reassurance and said, "It's fine. I'll be right back."

He walked out and into the hallway where the bathrooms and elevator were. He stood in front of the men's bathroom door for a moment, before checking behind him to make sure the weird faculty member hadn't followed him. He walked down to where the elevators were, the hallway empty except for one African American women who seemed to already be waiting on the elevator.

"That was nice, what you did for those young people." She said, speaking first. He had his back against the wall, feeling awkward again. The only people he was comfortable around anymore was Bruce, Y/N, and the rest of the Avengers although Wanda still scared him.

"Ah, they deserve it." He said nonchalantly. "Plus, it helps ease my conscience."

"They say there's a correlation between generosity and guilt." Well, she seemed like a smart woman. "But if you've got the money. . . break as many eggs as you like." Tony looked at her then, "Right?"

Tony turned to face the elevator, not wanting to look at her face on anymore, and noticed peculiarly, that the elevator button had never been pressed. He grew wary now. Was she going to pull out some Natasha like moves on him and try and slit his throat? Or was he just getting paranoid? But why would she stand here and not press the button? He reached forward slowly, pressing the up button.

"Are you going up?" He asked. Rumlow had tried to kill Steve and Y/N in an elevator. Maybe he should think about taking the stairs.

"I'm right where I want to be." She said.

Yep, she was totally going to kill him.

She reached into her bag and he said, "Okay. Hey!" He grabbed her wrist quickly. She glared at him. "Sorry, it's an occupational hazard."

"I work for the State Department. Human Resources. I know its boring but it enabled me to raise a son. I'm very proud of what he grew up to be." She slapped a picture right against his chest where his heart was. "His name was Charlie Spencer. You murdered him. In Sokovia. Not that that matters in the least to you. You think you fight for us? You just fight for yourself. Who's going to avenge my son, Stark? He's dead and I blame you."

She turned and marched away.

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"Eleven Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria last month. The traditionally reclusive Wakandans were on an outreach mission in Lagos, when the attack occurred."

"Our people's blood is spilled on foreign soil, not only because of the actions of criminals, but by the indifference of those pledged to stop them." King T'Chaka said on the news channel now. "Victory at the expense of the innocent is no victory at all."

You turned off the TV and Steve looked over his shoulder. "You need to stop watching that stuff Steve. The news isn't a healthy place."

Both of you heard more news coming from another room and the two of you went and found Wanda watching another news channel, which was bashing her. Steve was the one to turn the TV off this time.

"It's my fault." Wanda said softly. Pietro was on the bed next to her, rubbing her shoulders.

"That's not true." Steve said softly.

"Turn the TV back on." Wanda said. "They're being very specific."

"I should've clocked that bomb vest long before you had to deal with it." Steve countered. "Rumlow said 'Bucky' and all of a sudden I was a sixteen year old kid again, in Brooklyn." He walked over to sit next to her. You caught Pietro's eye and jerked your head, the two of you leaving the room.

"She'll be okay." You said as the two of you hit the kitchen. "It just. . . we all find something to blame ourselves on the missions. I don't know, maybe our team just wasn't ready."

"Steve is a good trainer." Pietro countered. "The circumstances were just. . . unfortunate."

"That they were." You sighed, checking the time for the MIT convention. You hoped Tony would be home soon.

Vision suddenly came in through the wall of the kitchen. Both you and Pietro jumped.

Vision was, naturally, Wanda's soulmate. However, Vision being a robot somehow defeated the physics of Wanda turning into any animal. She did however, now have a butterfly tattoo on her back. It was strange. You were sure if Bruce ever found out, he would want to research it. . . but Bruce hadn't been heard from in forever.

"Vision! Doors!" You shouted.

"My apologies." Vision replied. "Mr. Stark is back and he's brought the Secretary of State with him."

You and Pietro exchanged a look. "Secretary of State?" You repeated.

This could not be good.

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"Five years ago, I had a heart attack and dropped right in the middle of my backswing." General Ross said. He was standing at the front of the table, addressing the rest of you.

Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Pietro sat on one side of the long table. Rhodey, Natasha, and Steve sat on the other. You sat in the middle, right across from General Ross, frowning. Tony was sitting to the side in the corner, looking uncomfortable.

"Turned out it was the best round of my life because after thirteen hours of surgery and a triple bypass, I found something forty years in the Army had never taught me. Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives, but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some, who would prefer the word 'vigilantes'."

"And what word would you use, Mr Secretary?" Natasha asked.

"How about 'dangerous'? What would you call a group of US- based, enhanced individuals, who routinely ignore sovereign borders, and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"

You opened your mouth to retort when he stepped to the side and a flat world of the map appeared.

"New York."

A video of one of the huge flying Centipede like Chitauri, with Hulk leaping from building to building.

"Washington D.C."

This one showed the helicarriers that were disappearing into the lake. The ones that you, Sam, and Steve took down.

"Sokovia."

Wanda and Pietro both shifted in their seats as a video of part of the land rising, buildings crumbling and crashing.

"Lagos."

Wanda looked away and Steve said, "Okay. That's enough."

"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution."

The man that had come with General Ross handed him a large booklet, which Ross placed on the table, handing it straight to Wanda. "The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under supervision of a United States panel only when and if that panel deems it necessary."

You started to laugh and everyone looked at you. "Sorry," You chuckled, and then stopped because it wasn't funny. "The Government is going to control superheroes? You see, that's funny."

"Y/N." Tony muttered as you stood up angrily.

"Sorry but, does no one remember when the Vice President colluded with The Mandarin to kill the President of the United States? Does no one remember how Senators were bought off by HYDRA? You want the Government, which is corrupt as something can be, to tell the good people when they want something to be saved? What if we save the wrong thing? What if, a Senator who has been bought off by HYDRA, tells us to kill the good guys instead, making us think they're bad, huh?"

"Y/N" Tony said again.

"No!" You shouted, "The Avengers are guided by themselves because our leader, our Captain, has the best moral compass. So no. I don't accept these Sokovia accords. You think I would ever trust the Government after my past with them? In your fucking dreams. The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place and we've done that."

"Tell me, Mrs. Stark, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" General Ross asked you. You sucked in your lips. "If I misplaced a couple of thirty megaton nukes, you can bet there'd be consequences."

"Thor and Banner aren't weapons, General." You retorted. "And I think you've forgotten Thor is the King of another planet. And Bruce happens to be Thor's soulmate. They are both either on Asgard or traveling space together. Who knows what Thor's Kingly duties are."

"Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works." General Ross sighed. "Believe me, this is middle ground."

"So, there are contingences."

"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords."

Steve turned in his chair to look at Tony. Tony looked up at him and then back down at his hands.

"Talk it over."

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" You and Natasha asked at the same time.

"Then you retire."

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"Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor." Rhodey said to Sam while Steve sat on the chair in front of them, reading through the entire Accords. You were also reading the Accords. So far, it didn't look very promising. "Which is one more than you have."

"Means jack shit to me." You snapped.

Steve gave you the look and you ignored him. When you were in a bad mood, you just happened to cuss more. That's how it worked and Steve would just have to accept that.

"So let's say we agree to this thing." Sam said angrily. "How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?"

"One hundred and seventeen countries want to sign this." Rhodey argued.

"So what?" You complained. "So what? If you look at the statistics, the factual numbers, we have a 93.764% approval rates as Avengers. Which means, that these one hundred and seventeen countries are rolling belly up and surrendering to make only 6.236% of the world's population happy. They're in the minority, the Government is only giving in because they're weak and want to be elected again. That's it."

"How long are you going to play both sides?" Sam asked.

"I have an equation." Vision said suddenly.

"Oh, this will clear it up." Sam rolled his eyes.

"In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And, during the same period of time, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate."

"Are you saying its our fault?" Steve asked, paused from turning the page he was on.

"I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge inflicts conflict. And conflict. . . breeds catastrophe. Oversight- Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand."

"Right." You declared. "So, the next time we have someone like Loki using aliens to invade the world, we should just kick back and relax, drink some lemonade and hope the U.S. army can do better since they're already under a Government contract. Well I'm all fucking for that, we should move to Japan and live quiet lives."

"Tony." Natasha said in a warning voice. "You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."

"It's because he's already made up his mind." You and Steve said together.

"Boy, you know me so well." Tony retorted. He sat up from where he was laying down on the couch. "Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on Cap. It's just pain." He walked over to the kitchen, grabbing himself a cup. "It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?"

He placed a tablet down and a picture of a young African American boy popped up on a holograph. "Oh, that's Charles Spencer by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world."

You closed your eyes, knowing where this was going, what this was leading up to. Charles face now burned in your mind.

"Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where? Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass."

"What should we have done?" You asked with a scoff, "Should we have. . . oh I don't know. . . not gone to Sokovia at all? Decided not to fight Ultron? Should we have let Ultron lift the island into the sky while we kicked back at Avengers Tower watching Vampire Diaries? I mean what were we supposed to do? Magically stop the buildings from falling over the side of the island while Thor and Steve are already trying to grab people as their cars are falling in mid-air? Tell me what we were supposed to do in that situation Tony?"

Tony slammed his coffee cup down on the table, "There's no decision making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys."

"Tony, when someone dies on your watch, you don't give up." Steve said.

"Who said we're giving up?"

"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame."

"I'm sorry, Steve. That- That is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D., it's not HYDRA."

"No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change."

"That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing."

"Tony, you chose to do that." Steve argued. "If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? Y/N's right. What if someone gets blackmailed or gets an incentive and they send us to kill their enemies and not ours? What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own."

"Here, here." Pietro said unexpectedly.

"If we don't do this now, it's going to be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty." Tony said.

"You're saying they'll come for me." Wanda said and Pietro shot to her side immediately to sit down next to her.

"We would protect you." Vision said softly.

"Maybe Tony's right." Natasha said unexpectedly. "If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-"

"I prefer having both hands on the wheel, thanks." You retorted.

"Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?" Sam asked in amazement.

"I'm just reading the terrain." Natasha sighed. "We have made, some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back."

"Focus up. I'm sorry. Did I just mishear you, or did you agree with me?"

"I want to take it back now." Nat muttered.

"No, no, no you can't retract it." Tony said. You and Pietro rolled your eyes. "Thank you. Unprecedented."

Steve's phone started to ring.

"Okay. Case Closed. I win." Tony said.

"I have to go." Steve said, getting to his feet.

Everyone watched him walk out and you stood up as well.

You looked at Tony. "I will not go against you Tony. But I will not sign this either. I'm an American and I always fight for my freedom. I don't surrender it. So," You tossed your handgun onto the table. "I retire. And I will see all of you later."

And with that, you left the room.

[ontherocks21]

Oh look... today is Someday!

From a Someday I'll Write It blurb to this. Hope you enjoy!

love language

Sometimes a handmaiden’s job can be quite boring.

 It’s not a pretty thought, but it’s one Dormé has nonetheless as she dutifully files into the conference room for what feels like the millionth debrief on this seemingly never-ending war. No one had really expected the Separatist movement to hold on with the tenacity that it had.  Even Padmé’s usual unwavering fervor and dedication had grown weary under the parade of planets constantly in crisis and begging for aid.  Though one would be hard-pressed to see the slight fatigue in the Senator from Naboo’s step as she quickly navigates to the open seat next to Senator Organa near the middle of the long rectangular table at the center of the room. 

Ruefully, Dormé watches her former monarch strike up a collegial conversation with the Alderaanian Queen’s husband and feels remorse over her shameful if fleeting moment of weakness.  She is beyond lucky to serve such a formidable woman and persistent champion of peace, even if that sometimes relegates her to the more menial tasks of an assistant.  At the end of the day, it was still an important job that had to be done.

Turning to the row of chairs reserved for attending Senatorial aides along the perimeter of the room, Dormé allows herself a last indecorous sigh and sinks down into expected position next to Minala Lodilyn.

“Good morning,” Senator Organa’s assistant greets warmly, the datapad in her lap glowing softly at the ready.  “Another rousing day at the office?”  She winks, friendly but meaningfully, and Dormé knows her moment of outward resignation didn’t go completely unnoticed.

“Morning,” Dormé replies genially, her return smile equally chagrinned and conspiratorial.  With an efficiency borne of rote muscle memory, her fingers fly over her own handheld work station until its display awakens to the blank screen for note-taking.  She holds the device up to Minala in humorous toast.  “It would seem so.”

Mirroring the sarcastic salute, Minala shoots her a sympathetic glance before turning her attention to the main table in front of them.  Polite conversation increases in volume with every passing minute as more and more beings file in for the debrief.  The rising din almost gives Dormé enough cover to use her normal voice to further engage her colleague – it would be a great opportunity to glean any unofficial news bulletins that may be of interest to Senator Amidala – but the chance is gone before it ever had the notion to be born.  All activity comes to an immediate halt the instant the Chancellor comes to a stand.

In the expectant quiet that settles over the room, Dormé barely catches Minala’s almost inaudible whisper.

“Hmmm,” she murmurs.  “No Jedi present today?  That’s a bit odd.”

Scanning the faces of those gathered, Dormé catalogs each being present as if she was head of a flight crew checking off a passenger manifest.  It takes her less than a minute to confirm Minala’s astute observation.  Most of the chairs around the conference table are full, save one at the Chancellor’s right and the space directly across from Padmé, but none of the occupied seats hold Jedi.  Her own brow raises with slight query. 

Interesting, indeed.

For a meeting specifically held to update the Chancellor on the most recent warfront, the lack of a GAR General’s presence is more than a bit odd, though not entirely unprecedented.  Sometimes the Jedi relevant to the discussion at hand had already been re-assigned and was required to participate via holocall while enroute to the next mission.

Dormé almost offers that up for Minala’s opinion until she notices the lack of holoprojector on the table, and immediately strikes the idea from further consideration.  Several other possibilities flit through her mind, when the actual explanation comes barreling into the conference room and skids to a halt, as if he’d been racing through the rotunda’s halls at full tilt.

Recognizing the handsome face above the whirlwind of black and dark brown tunics, Dormé realizes, with no small amount of amusement, that he likely had been.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Anakin Skywalker apologizes, his soft panting the only remnant of his frenetic entrance.

Twenty sets of eyes turn to regard the tardy Jedi with interest, but the twenty-first pair slowly shifts to the Senator from Naboo.  At this point in her career, Dormé has had plenty of experience reading the back of her lady’s silhouette, but she still wishes she could gauge just how much glow blazes through the supposedly neutral returned brown stare.  Instead, she watches the back of Padmé’s head turn in time with Anakin’s saunter further into the room.  It’s not hard for Dormé to envision how hard Padmé is doubling down on the usually unflappable Amidala mask as Anakin’s brilliant blue eyes lock onto the conspicuously open seat right across from the table from her.

Before Anakin can claim his prized spot, Padmé’s attention is already directed back to the still standing Chancellor.  Even from her ramrod straight profile, Dormé can see the way her eyes shine with equal intensity.

Despite the momentary drama surrounding Anakin’s late arrival, the meeting commences like any other – at least, initially.

Padmé pointedly keeps her focus moving between speakers, lingering only on Anakin during his remarks and briefly at that.  Anakin, however, suffers no such compunction.  Though he’s wise enough to not openly stare, anyone observing him closely would be blind to miss the way his gaze regularly diverts to the Senator of Naboo far more often than necessary.  Subtle was never going to be on the short list to describe Anakin Skywalker, though thankfully, Dormé is fairly certain she is the only one doing any of the observing when it comes to him.

While her fingers scribe the details she absorbs with her ears, Dormé’s eyes capture an entirely different sort of meeting happening in the conference room that has nothing to do with relief efforts or military strategy.

At first, Anakin’s gloved hand slowly curls from open hand to a closed fist and she thinks he may be trying to relieve the phantom pains that she knows occasionally still plague him.  But she has witnessed enough of those uncomfortable moments to know that the flexing of his fingers occurs in a more spontaneous, agitated sort of way, usually followed by an emphatic string of curse words. 

This movement is decidedly controlled.  And deliberate.  And quiet.

If she didn’t immediately recognize the hand signal shift from yes to no, she would think that maybe she was reading too far into a simple gesture out of learned paranoia. 

Sometimes a handmaiden’s job can be quite nerve-wracking. 

One of the first things Padmé’s original cadre had developed was an entire system of hand signals and body postures when open communication to each other was impossible yet crucial.  The information highways of the Senate flowed fast; they needed a way to monitor all of the dealings that were made at conference tables, especially when some of the ones that happened were never spoken of.  By silently cuing her handmaidens to pay particular attention to specific Senators at key moments, Padmé was able to keep up with Senatorial life in the hyperspace lane.

But when Padmé slouches a bit, only to straighten again and re-fold her hands together on the tabletop eliciting another relaxation of Anakin’s hand almost immediately thereafter, Dormé translates the seemingly innocuous movements as easily as if she was reading the conversation straight off her datapad’s screen.

Meet? Padmé asks.

Yes, Anakin answers.

Untangling her interwoven fingers as she sits back in her chair, Padmé lets her left hand fall into her lap while her right index finger and thumb part into a lazy backwards ‘L’ before sliding out of Dormé’s view.

Later or tonight?

She can’t see how many times Padmé taps her fingers on the table to convey a specific time, though it’s not too hard to glean that Anakin is likely counting out that answer judging by his unblinking focus. Despite what Dormé assumes is his best attempt at maintaining a neutral expression, Anakin frowns, his flat palm clenching into another tight fist.  Her own gaze falling disappointedly at the repeated negative signal, Padmé lets her right hand drop into her lap and she shifts her attention back to the front of the conference room.

Keeping her own focus split between two kinds of note-taking, Dormé continues to glance over the couple periodically.  Padmé’s hands stay firmly folded in her lap, her brown eyes resolutely following the chatter surrounding the Chancellor without any further wayward wandering across the table.  Dormé may have had the disadvantage of recognizing the ongoing clandestine conversation so late, but she is by no means convinced that it’s indeed over.  Not from the way Anakin is blatantly listening with half an ear and a definitively distracted gaze.

Well, maybe distracted is the wrong word.  Judging from the antsy way he shifts his weight even as he refuses to shift his cerulean stare, Anakin would agree with her assessment that the secret signaling was only taking a brief intermission if he had anything to say about the matter.  He chews his lower lip.  His gloved fingers fidget, as if starting to form a thought before stopping again, as if unsure whether to voice the idea to begin with or unable to find the necessary signs to do so.  Seemingly frustrated with his inability to wrangle back Padmé’s attention, Anakin sighs heavily, and Dormé waits with bated breath for the mistake.

For a second, it makes Dormé wonder just how well versed he is in the Nabooian secret code – she can spout off a list of quiet cues specifically designed to continue discreet communication.

And then Anakin does something at once completely baffling and totally unpredictable.  He simply closes his eyes and goes stock still.

It wouldn’t be until much later on that Padmé would explain to Dormé exactly what happened in those infinitesimal seconds of empty air.

With a motion so abrupt as to be almost betraying, Padmé’s head whips in Anakin’s direction just as his eyes open.  Leaning onto his elbows, he intertwines his fingers with a bold squeeze only to unwind them, and nonchalantly adjusting the cuff of his sleeve before looking pointedly away to the right over his shoulder, then back at his entranced wife. 

The translation is easy enough.

Meet – you and me, soon, where?

But Dormé’s keen eye sees it.  The blink -and-miss-it deliberate way he slowly drags his index and middle finger over the pulse point of his gloved wrist before reclining into his seat, the look on his face already satisfied at the small, but emphatic and immediate movement Padmé makes with her own hands.

Dormé doesn’t even have to look to know Padmé’s palms rest openly and press firmly on the table’s surface.  The roguish grin returning to Anakin’s face is answer enough.

Yes!

With most of her lady’s person still facing away from her, Dormé can’t be entirely sure that she doesn’t miss the location for this newly agreed to tête-à-tête.  As the professional assembly draws to a close, it occurs to Dormé that maybe she had underestimated Anakin’s fluency.  Her mind replaying the sequence of events over and over, she is more convinced than ever that Padmé hadn’t in fact signaled anything remotely resembling a specific rendezvous spot in her silent response.

She’s still pondering what she had missed when Padmé bids a brief farewell to Senator Organa, thanking him for pulling out her chair – a gentlemanly gesture that Dormé sees doesn’t go unnoticed by a departing Jedi – and rushes up to greet her handmaiden.  There’s an extra spark in her eyes, one that Dormé knows has nothing to do with relief effort packages and civic duty. 

“Well,” Padmé says. “That meeting was quite productive.”

Even as she keeps her features placed in professional deference, Dormé lets her tone slip a few notches into a more familiar teasing tone.  “In-deed.”

Padmé’s lips press together to smother the complicit smile that lets Dormé know their own brand of unspoken communication is entirely functional as well. 

Falling into step with Padmé, Dormé turns left out of the conference room in the direction of the offices designated for the Chommell sector representatives; dutifully both women had towards the next pressing task for the Senator of Naboo.  For all of her professional comportment, Padmé still can’t stop the fleeting backward glance she throws over her shoulder.  Dormé easily imagines what her lady watches; the tall dark silhouette striding swiftly around the bend in the Senate corridors is one she watched so many times before, the image is practically burned into her mind’s eye.

A little sigh of frustration escapes Padmé’s carefully constructed composure, but they continue to head the opposite direction.

“I do have one question, though,” Dormé says after the quiet tension reaches an altitude that she can practically feel Padmé vibrating with suppressed anticipation.

Padmé tilts her head to show she is listening even if her focus is still being pulled away.

“What does…” Dormé begins, pausing to fidget with her gown’s sleeve before drawing two fingers across her wrist, “… this mean?  I didn’t recognize it.”

“Oh, ummm.” Padmé’s cheeks darken as she retreats into herself momentarily, and Dormé knows she’s seeing a different set of fingers repeating the nonverbal cue.  All of a sudden, a shyness underlies the heightened subterfuge in the air, and the lady at Dormé’s side is not a formidable Galactic representative racing between meetings, but rather a young woman whose heart races to reunite with a young man. Still blushing innocently, Padmé offers up the translation with a less-than-innocent smile, “The southern corridors.”

“Ahhh,” Dormé says, cottoning on in less than a Corellian nanosecond.  The southern corridors of the Senate Rotunda were notorious for darkened corners and discreet nooks, making the location ideal for many off-the-book meetings.  “So, Senator Amidala will be officially indisposed for the next hour then?” she asks, returning her friend’s grin with a touch of wickedness. 

“Or thereabouts…” Padmé trails off vaguely, her cheeks darkening to a vexed pink.

Dormé laughs softly, winking with conspiratorial fervor and nodding over her shoulder.  “Well, go on.”

Even with the courteous hesitancy she demonstrates on behalf of obligation, Padmé can’t stop the luminescent smile that stretches her lips any more than she can stop the sun setting.  Gratitude shines behind her eyes, just another form of a silent language long in the making and well-versed in practice. 

Watching Padmé spin on her heel to chase Anakin’s footsteps, Dormé can’t help but openly speak the message she hopes Padmé will relay in earnest at the start of her next “meeting”.

“Just tell him to leave your hair alone this time.”

Padmé winks, then scurries away, retracing her slow steps in a most enthusiastic manner.

Shaking her head, Dormé resumes her previous path, pressing her lips together to stifle an amused giggle as another thought wends its way through her preoccupied mind.

Sometimes a handmaiden’s job was actually quite… diverting.

*****

Read even more at https://archiveofourown.org/works/47671315/chapters/120160444

[virtie333]

Day 29 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Cozy

Summary: Poe looks good in anything, but especially soft sweaters

Notes: I'm writing this with the idea that Rey is an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) like me.

On a separate note, I posted this last year on the day I lost my heart cat, Rodney. It was just another nail in the coffin of the year 2022. I still feel like I haven't processed his loss completely, I was so numb when it happened. Maybe I'll start going through his pictures someday soon.

AO3

Rey didn’t know how he did it.

It didn’t matter what color he wore, what pattern, what kind of material, or what season of the year, Poe always made sweaters look cozy and comfy. Cardigans, turtle necks, v-necks, even ugly Christmas sweaters looked great on him.

Rey envied how comfortable he was in them, as she herself had such sensitive skin that all but the softest of sweaters made her skin itch. She didn’t like anything tight around her neck, either, so though she knew she looked cute in turtle necks, she always felt as if she was suffocating in them, and if they weren’t super soft, it was pure torture to wear one. Poe knew about her dilemma, though, and never bought her anything but the softest of cardigans. They were always in bright colors, with no patterns, and they were warm and easy to slip on and off in case they became too prickly feeling at any time.

When Rey and Poe first stated dating, Poe was never picky about what kind of sweater he wore, nor did he really care how he looked in them. Not that he had to worry, since he looked great in anything. However, after he and Rey had been together for a few months and he started to learn her little quirks, her likes and dislikes, and the reason behind them, he started paying attention to what he wore. Not for any aesthetic reasons, but for Rey’s comfort.

Suddenly, his t-shirts, dress shirts, and of course his sweaters, had to be super soft. He wanted Rey to be comfortable touching him, therefore she needed to be comfortable touching his clothing. Rey didn’t notice what he was doing at first. All she knew was that she was never physically irritated by anything while she was near Poe. Her brain slowly began to connect that fact that everything he wore on his torso was of fine material, oftentimes smooth, and always soft. The rough sweaters he used to wear were gone, as were the stiff, starchy shirts.

When she began to suspect he was doing it for her, she was too afraid to ask him outright. What if she was just imagining things? What if he was just realizing he was more comfortable in that kind of clothing? But one night, as he was dropping her off at her apartment after a movie, she decided she had to ask him.

His coat was open, so she ran her fingers gently down his chest, appreciating the downy feel of the sweater he was wearing underneath the coat.

“Is this for me?” she asked softly.

He tilted his head questioningly. “Is what for you?”

She felt her face heat, but she pushed forward. “The sweater,” she said. “Your other shirts these past few weeks. They’re softer than what you usually wear.”

He looked away, biting his lip, then he smiled and looked back at her. “I wasn’t sure you’d notice.”

“It is for me, isn’t it?” she nodded. “Because I’m too sensitive.”

“You’re not too sensitive,” he denied. “Sensitive is just what you are. It’s not a bad thing.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “If it’s making you change who you are?”

He laughed softly. “Rey, my choice in clothing isn’t who I am. My sense of style has no definition. Besides, I’m kind of getting overindulged by wearing all this soft stuff.”

Rey huffed a laugh. “More comfortable?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You touch me more often, now. It’s spoiling me.”

“What if?” Rey started to say.

“What if, what?”

“What if I wanted to touch you even more?” she said with a shy smile. “Without that soft stuff between us?”

He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes intense.

“Then you better invite me inside.”

Rey stepped aside and invited him inside.