#somebody invent therapy

[hosharambles]

Full reaction to My Hero Academia Season 1 Episode 7 is now up on Patreon!

Yk, Bakugou in this episode is something else... he's in even more dire need of therapy than I previously thought, the poor poor bastard 😔❤️

[theposhperyton]

What the Hell !

[deerlisteners]

head in hands

[lyculuscaelus]

Meet the characters… (EPIC version)

Odysseus "Nobody" Laërtiades, "#1 Penelope Simp": just a man; loves his wife and son; raining reigning king of Ithaca; shorter than Agamemnon; making his way back home but always seems to get into more trouble; rawrs or hoots depending on his mood; equipped with Schrödinger’s braincells

Eurylochus, "Ctimene’s #1 Husband": Odysseus’s second-in-command; doesn’t have his own instrument; likes bags; doesn’t like witches or torches

Polites, "Teganites": good with open arms; used to have blood on his hands; always survives what he gets into

Perimedes, "The Lord of Comfort Zone": good with babyyeeting; aromantic for everyone else except Polites; good relations with Polites (especially) and Elpenor; depression therapy on the lotus-eaters’ island got canceled by his captain

Elpenor, "The Fallen": loves wine and Perimedes

Pallas "Somebody" Athena, "Badass Señorita": patron of nobody; goddess of wisdom, master of war; tilts her head very often; #1 OdyPen shipper; has a scary shield

Telemachus Odysseïdes, "Little Wolf": born far from war; does battle from afar; not Odysseus’s daughter; the little wolf who bites; has a roommate™ later on

Penelope "Duck" Icarione, "Banana Peel": weep, weave, wait

Hermes "Trickster" Atlantiades, "Breaker of Fourth Walls": invents phones and the text message; always slays in discos; professional root dealer; divine messenger, tour guide in the Underworld, patron of travelers, lord of thieves, good shepherd, trustworthy businessman; world’s greatest great-grandfather

Poseidon "Forkman" Kronides, "The Muffin Man": good with gps; doesn’t get pissed off very often; master of horses, god of tides; actually has more lovers and kids than his brother; #1 Odysseus hater

Zeus Kronides, "The Judgment Call": his Honor, master of the heaven, king of gods, bringer of thunder, collector of cloud, protector of strangers, player of birds; good relations with women and boys; has a scary shield; likes to torment Odysseus’s mental health

[notkingyet2]

Spoke and Wheel for @theterrorbigbang

(art by the incredible @myimmanence!)

Trapped in the liminal space between crew and command, Thomas Jopson is forced to pursue a promotion and forms a trauma-bonded codependent polycule about it.

Rating: Explicit Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Category: M/M Fandom: AMC The Terror (TV 2018) Relationships: Thomas Jopson/Solomon Tozer, Harry Goodsir/Thomas Jopson, Thomas Jopson/James Clark Ross, James Fitzjames/Thomas Jopson, Thomas Jopson/John Bridgens, Francis Crozier & Thomas Jopson Additional Tags: Polyamory, background James Clark Ross/Ann Ross, background Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft, past John Bridgens/Henry Peglar, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, alternate universe somebody lives, alternate universe not everyone dies, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, Why Choose, slowburn for some instalust for others, oblivious heterosexual francis crozier, wherein jopson is the prettiest and most specialest boy in the whole royal navy, pre-joplittle if you squint and are into enemies-to-lovers, therapy hasn’t been invented yet we gotta do under-negotiated polyamorous BDSM for morale

[fluffygiraffe]

PJ can't feel normal guilt or self awareness. Let me explain with a simple invention PJ made before he became a TV Cyborg thing.

PJ wanted to help kids in more than one way. Brain surgery and other diseases for small children under 10 can be devastating to mental development. So he made a beta of a product; Artificial Sentience! It can simulate normal self aware emotions like guilt, pride, jealousy, and many more! It, was of course, a beta, so it was bulky and they used simple drugs that gave dopamine and seratonin to also simulate these emotions until there was a better way for Artificial Intelligence to benefit them. Unfortunately, PJ's accident put a complete halt on it.

After turning into, well, PJ, he couldn't feel these emotions well anymore. His brain didn't work as well as it used to, so with a quick fix, he put said wires and tubes in his head and placed the device under his hat (the wires were loose at first and could disconnect at a head pat!) and poof! He felt... Better? Not normal, but it worked.

Negative Effects.

Guilt - Reward/Punishment system.

Practically, if PJ does something good, the drugs are pumped straight into his head, causing a burst of euphoria. Some things that can be seen as good will be rewarded, causing unintended side effects like an obsession for making friends and making shows (Puzzlevision Arc shows this!). He will chase anything that gives him happiness and will try to amplify it by milking it to death. If something stops giving happiness, he'll panic and cry, then simply give up, finding something else to make him happy. If PJ does something bad, he doesn't get anything. When this happens, he gets stressed and has a melt down, like a child. He'll apologize, cry, and try to fix the bad thing. If this melt down state continues for too long, this is what will happen:

"Fixing" a bad mental state.

PJ doesn't like to be unhappy, so if he feels a slight sadness, dopamine will insert itself into the brain, causing him to go back to the Normal PJ Persona! But if he's really unhappy or angry, too much dopamine and seratonin can enter his brain, causing temporary psychosis (Puzzlevision Arc yet again!). He can do things such as pulling off robotic body parts (tail, fingers, antennae, dials on TV, etc...), do things without thinking, a heightened want for control and/or friends, screaming and crying while also laughing, and breaking things.

Poor simulations of other emotions, but a need for it.

PJ's jealousy is just severe anger, his pride is just euphoria, and his guilt is just the deprevation of happy emotions. His mind is broken and battered beyond repair. The worst part is he's dependant on it to give him happiness, as he cannot feel normal happiness on his own. As well as these other emotions, he's practically emotionless without it. But that's highly simplifying it, as nobody can be TRULY emotionless. There can be emptiness (depression), sure, but that's emotion. But all in all, do not remove it. It will do more harm than good.

TL;DR; somebody get this bitch with brain damage therapy damn

[firstagent]

Since you enjoy questions ranking between seasons, here’s one:

Assume the concept of Digimon never existed. Rank the main cast of each season in order of how cohesive the friend group would be if they met under mundane circumstances (with 1 being the group that would still easily be a tight-knit group of friends and last place being the biggest dumpster fire)

Wavered over this a few times and realized how crucial it was to define the circumstances better. Even if they're mundane, everything changes depending on if they signed up for whatever brought them together (like a club), how long they were stuck together (like camp), and if they had to accomplish anything as a team (like a group assignment). In the end, we're going with the most mundane of the mundane scenarios, and guaranteed to get diverse groups of kids interacting... if 80s movies are any indicator:

Saturday Detention

Just the characters stuck alone in a library for eight hours. Other than pre-existing relationships and friendships, they have never met before. They have no obligation to meet after this. They're supposed to be silent and doing their own busywork, but lol no.

No weed. Probably.

Frontier- If any group could benefit from eight hours of group therapy *without* something trying to kill them every five minutes, it's these guys. Takuya's not going to keep his mouth shut for long, Junpei's going to try (and fail) to flirt with Izumi, and as irritated as Koji is with everyone's antics, everyone's going to open up fast when Koichi pipes in with "hey I think you're my brother." They'll get a lot accomplished and won't forget it afterwards.

Zero Two- Absolute madness for the first hour or so when Daisuke and Takeru get into some stupid argument that Hikari has to mediate. This will get Miyako joining in trying to get them to shut up, with Iori jumping in when he finally gets sick of it. That'll calm everyone down and get them to realize that the way Miyako interacts with Hikari and Daisuke makes her a perfect fit in their group, dragging in Iori by force. Despite sitting in the back trying not to get noticed, Ken will get roped into their antics before the end of the day, and Daisuke will insist on inviting him to all future hangouts.

Adventure: (2020)- Two key reasons this version finishes ahead of the '99 team: this Taichi and Yamato don't argue that much, and Taichi's going to insist on everyone getting involved in whatever stupidity they invent to pass the time. Some will protest. Not just Joe: Koshiro will be awkward about it and Mimi may consider their goofing off beneath her until she can't resist joining the fun. They're not baring their souls or anything, but everyone will enjoy the nonsense too much to want to give it up at the end of the day.

Adventure- There's a clear line of demarcation between Taichi/Hikari/Sora/Koshiro, Yamato/Takeru, Joe, and Mimi. With nothing pressing on them, the streams aren't going to cross as easily. They'll slowly turn around once Hikari and Takeru start playing and Joe or Sora grow receptive to Mimi insisting on socializing with them. Yamato or Sora might accidentally let something meaningful out to somebody and a few new individual bonds will certainly be forged, offering some hope that the entire group of eight becomes a fully fledged squad.

Tamers- What are they supposed to do in detention if they're not writing poignant goodbyes to their frazzled teacher? You'll definitely see Takato, Hirokazu, and Kenta properly welcome Juri into their group longterm, but the others might be more of a struggle. There won't be as much of an impetus to bring in Jianliang, and he'd be content to keep to himself while keeping his sister out of trouble. Ryo might be welcomed in if the boys don't fanboy too hard, and approaches will be made towards Ruki. It's hard to say she'd be too receptive from anyone other than Juri, who's already a bit of an outsider, so it's an awkward fit going forward.

Xros Wars- Taiki and Akari have a good bond. Yuu and Nene have a good bond. But at some point these two pairs will get snippy with each other and start co-mingling. They will barely tolerate Zenjirou, but he's attached to them whether they like it or not. Kiriha's a wild card, since Taiki's going to try to include him once the other five are established. He'll probably cave after a bit, and enough pestering might get him to reveal something deeper that makes them consider staying friends in the future. But without anything meaningful like that, they probably can only stand each other in small groups and limited doses.

Appmon- Haru is perfectly content ignoring everyone except Yuujin and his stack of books. Rei is perfectly content ignoring everyone period. Eri and Astra will attempt to strangle each other at least once in the first two hours. But you'd hope they'd settle down and at least have a conversation where they gain a begrudging respect for each other. And they're both so damn gregarious that they'd at least try to get to know the other kids in the room. Haru and Yuujin are receptive and pleasant to talk to, but not really interested in hanging out afterwards. Wildly, this team shoots up multiple spots if we let in Ai as her instant rapport with Haru, Yuujin, Eri, and Rei would create a lot of meaningful connections in a hurry.

Hunters- First instinct is to put them at the bottom since none of them even come to like each other even with a world-threatening event they need to work together to prevent. But similar to Frontier or 2020, some of them just won't shut up. Tagiru is already friends with Taiki and Yuu and will absolutely try to suss out Ryouma, Ren, and Airu. And since those three may not have known each other prior to the Hunt, it might actually work. Not becoming friends with Tagiru so much, but in coaxing them out of their shell so that they talk to the others. Ryouma and Taiki could absolutely have a conversation contentious enough that they both appreciate the candor. Yuu and Airu will still turn into Yuu and Airu. There's every reason to expect everyone to end the day counting the minutes until they never have to see each other again, but there are enough pockets of potential that they all may get together as an excuse to exploit those nuggets of interest even though they all kind of hate each other.

Savers- Touma's happy to keep to himself and Yoshino's going to feel like she's babysitting Masaru and Ikuto. Those two will be absolutely insufferable breaking every rule they can, and Touma getting annoyed and rising to Yoshino's aid could well lead to a proper fistfight. Once Yoshino doles out the icepacks, there's a glimmer of potential if they can calm down and talk through their baggage, but even if they can come to some sort of understanding and appreciation for each other, they're all very different people at different stages of their life and unlikely for it to be more than a fleeting moment.

Ghost Game- Bottom for Ghost Game? But they made a pretty cool team, I hear you say. But like Appmon, they were forced into it! And judging by how much their friends comment on how weird it is that they hang out, they're probably not doing so under normal circumstances. This scenario brings them together, with one problem: Kiyoshiro's going to be a stickler for the rules and insist that they keep to themselves. And Hiro's just going to go along with that because he's Hiro. Ruli of course will be incensed about not getting to socialize, but again Hiro's not inclined to rock the boat. As a consolation, this may be the most likely team to feature some closet action as she'd absolutely drag Hiro away from Kiyoshiro for a chance to talk. But even if they strike up some sort of manipulative friendship, Kiyo's not a part of any future plans.

Oh, and since I've been thinking about this since the 02 movie...

Honorable Mention: The Movie Triplets- Maybe not quite as potent without their partnership challenges, but try sticking Wallace, Meiko, and Lui in a room together. Lui's got an awful past, Meiko has a deep compassion for broken things, and Wallace can meet them both halfway... plus willingly starts conversations! Eight hours will forge these three into an incredible friend group... or the most uncomfortable three-sided love triangle. Or both. Probably both.

[astral-circuitry-writes]

Sunday Six !!!

tagging upfront, so nobody has to actually read my (very long, bc it's exciting to write a little again) fic bit to get to my tags: @scopophil @sequentialprophet @sybilius @kalgalen and of course My Muse who is responsible for this AU I'm playing around in @chetungwan - i tbh have no idea if any of you are writing anything atm, i'm very out of the loop, but if you wanted to share, i'd love to read it !! likewise if you see this and i didn't tag you, i'd still love to see what you're doing !!

anyway, i'm writing Gravity Falls fic (featuring the Vaguest Possible Book of Bill spoilers bc i haven't actually read it yet), which i'm sure everyone who follows me explicitly signed up for,

---

The thing about studying different potential kinds of futures is that if anybody's ignorant enough to need the concept or what exactly it is he’s doing explained to them, they are likely too stupid to grasp and understand it anyway, so forget all about that.

The other thing about studying different potential kinds of futures though (and of vastly more immediate interest to Bill,) is that if you study enough of them, you'll get really good at pattern recognition (the cognitive process, not the one related to machine learning.)

Which is why Bill can't stand those stupid Pines twins. The ‘small’ edition ones, that is, although he’s starting to think he’ll end up carrying a grudge on the entire bloodline.

They'll ruin everything! Every single time! Even though it should be easy!

Bill figured they'd be child's play to woo and-or force and-or trick into siding with and helping him repair the portal, or build a new one.

However. That thing about studying different potential kinds of futures.

~

It’s science as soon as you write it down, so here: Plans that, reverse-historically, are highly unlikely to work:

attempting to get the twins to turn on and abandon each other (too loyal; too fond of each other, bleh)

attempting to force either of them to help him by threatening the life of the other

attempting to get them to cooperate by promising to give them whatever they want (money, fame, knowledge, girls (for Pine Tree), boys (for Shooting Star), girls again (for Shooting Star (although he should perhaps let her figure that out herself first, right? He’s not entirely sure about etiquette and really doesn’t care too much either)))

~

Sometimes though, it did work! Or, rather: Sometimes though, it will work!

…For a while.

~

Have another list, because Bill’s generous like that: The most likely ultimate outcome of achieving to get the twins to work with-slash-for him:

They teach the Henchmaniacs the concept of unionization. Bill figures out he does not like unionized Henchmaniacs. …Or unions, really

He sees the damned Axolotl look slightly exasperated, which he didn’t know they could do. They blabber something about Back to therapy with you and This is the two hundred and eighty-ninth timeline that ends like this, eventually even you will learn— well, nevermind that one actually, that one’s entirely unimportant, let’s move on, stop looking at this bullet point already

The Henchmaniacs invent the concept of unionization entirely on their own because Shooting Star somehow immediately befriends them and ends up surrounded by an adoring bunch of them and gives them her cute little pep talks including sentences like “If Bill really was your friend, he’d be nicer to you”

The twins betray him the second the portal is built which would of course just be his luck; it’s the same thing their great uncle did after all. Sometimes they find a way to thwart him on their own, sometimes they involve either or both of their uncles (which... embarrassing! Stanford Pines, alright; he's at least smart. But the other one... Bill would rather die than have his plans spoiled by a no-good conman who can't get over the fact that his parents never loved him)

~

So. Bill can't stand them, and the smart thing to do would be to drop it and find somebody else to work with. Obviously.

Bill is very smart. Obviously.

So, obviously, he'll find a way to make this work. Obviously!

(Step 1: stop studying different potential kinds of futures to forget about the pattern recognition thing. Aaaand done. That one's easy.)

~

On the floor of their room, between their bed: a photo of Mabel. Surrounding it: Eight lit candles. Mabel's eyes on the polaroid shot: crossed out.

Dipper shivers, forces himself to look away and tightens his grip around the baseball bat he found in the shack (as if it would help) as Mabel starts reciting the words in a voice that is way too chipper considering they're doing something that would probably get them grounded for the rest of the summer if any of the adults ever found out. He has no clue how Mabel could think this is a good idea. …Or how she convinced him it’s not an entirely terrible one worth shutting down immediately.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when he notices the faint blue glow illuminating Mabel’s immediate surroundings. When he opens them again—

“Hi, Bill.” Mabel politely waves at the floating triangle hovering between herself and Dipper. Bill politely waves back, which makes Dipper want to swing his baseball bat at him immediately. While he's contemplating how mad Mabel could possibly be at him if he went through with his first instinct—

(”Pleeaaase, Dipper, he told me it's really, really, really important. And said you'd might want to hear what he has to say, too.”

“Of course he'd say that! You can't trust him!”

“Duh, I don't, of course I don’t. But! I am curious! Aren't you?"

“…”

“Look, I promise if he tries anything shifty, we’ll just yell for Grunkle Stan and Ford immediately. Plus, we beat him before! …Maybe he’s got something interesting to say. Something you could add to your notebook even! Maybe! We won’t know if we don’t try!”

"..."

"I'm not gonna make you, of course. If you really don't want to, he can just talk to me in my dreams."

“No! No, the last thing I want is you talking to him alone. ...Fine! But if anything goes wrong—”

“Nothing will go wrong, I'm sure of it. Just, try to be nice to him for ten minutes, I think he's not very used to people being nice to him. When he came into my dream—I told you I dreamed of having a tea party with my stuffed animals, right? When I offered him a cup of tea, he seemed kind of surprised.”)

—Bill whirls around and gives him finger guns.

“Pine Tree! So glad you made it! No hard feelings about the sock opera story, I assume? Great! I knew you were the reasonable type!”

“You didn't let me answer.” Dipper forces the words out between grit teeth. Mabel gives him a pleading look over what isn’t quite Bill’s shoulder, because Bill’s a stupid triangle nightmare demon. He sighs, mumbles, “No hard feelings for right now.” He emphasizes that last part both with his voice and by tightening his grip around the bat.

Bill either doesn’t notice the implied threat or simply doesn’t care—either way, he completely ignores it. He just winks at Dipper. Or blinks. It's hard to tell.

“So, you said you wanted to talk to us…?” Mabel flops down on the floor, crosses her legs, props an elbow up on her right knee and her chin on her hand, attentive, curious, ready to listen. Dipper in the meantime kind of feels like throwing up and is sure if he did right now his racing heart would jump right out of his mouth too. …Ew, gross. He has to get it together.

“Hold on,” he gets out. His voice doesn’t even shake that much. “Before you tell us whatever you wanted to tell us… If you—if you try to use this opportunity to possess Mabel—”

“Geez, kid, you gotta relax,” Bill interrupts him. “I promised her I wouldn’t. It’s not my fault I can’t show up without being invited. Which is what this visit is about, actually, what a coincidence!”

[why-do-we-do-this]

After several days of slowly translating, here's my version of Cellbit's pdf, translated into English.

I've included a brief summary under the cut for anyone who might not want to read the whole thing or who are wary of the warnings.

This was my personal method of processing, and I encourage all of you to do what you need to do so as well, whether that be stepping off of the internet and letting the moss reclaim you for a while, drawing, crying it out, comprehending the beautiful insignificance of existence for as long as you need to, or talking this situation through with somebody else.

tws for:

sexual assault, aphobia, suicidal ideation, manipulation, victim blaming

-

Chronological Event Summary

At age 9 Cellbit had an awkward and very violating encounter with a neighbor girl who was older than him which left him traumatized. He questioned his sexuality as he was growing up, and thought things would make sense once he actually lost his virginity, which he did to his first girlfriend at age 18. Since then, he's been sure of his asexuality. However, this girlfriend was aphobic and constantly pressured him into having sex with her or urging him to seek medical help for his lack of interest in sex. She would embarrass him in front of his friends, gaslit him into thinking that no one else would ever accept him for who he is, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. Once he was finally able to pull away from her, she started making incessant posts about Cellbit being abusive, mean, and jealous, which caused backlash against Cellbit and his content, and she even used his depressive period and suicide attempt as reason to incite hate against him. Cellbit remained in silence in response to this, fearing what might happen if he tried to fight back, but, with the recent new allegation that this ex made accusing him of sexually assaulting her, Cellbit had enough and broke his silence with this document. He's said that he doesn't want this to affect him and his loved ones any longer, and he doesn't want to speak about all of this any more than he already had to.

-

Cellbit's pdf

MY RESPONSE, 7 YEARS LATER

7 years ago I was in a relationship with a person who lied compulsively, cheated on me, tricked me and has tried to ruin my life up until the present, though I've always tried to stay silent.

This week, she accused me of sexual assault.

This is a complete lie.

It's time to finally tell everything that I have lived through.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "There's no normal way to ask this / I'm just curious / but are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "as in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

This relationship began in 2015. I had just turned 18 and she was 20. 9 years ago. I broke up with her in 2017, two years later.

After we broke up I never responded to any of the allegations that she publicly made against me. I didn't want my followers going on a witch hunt, and even less to expose a personal relationship which used to bring me so much pain.

The only statement that I made was related to me doing therapy, I never mentioned her name and never spoke about anything that she did to me. I NEVER attacked her nor encouraged any kind of hate towards her during all of these years.

And, despite her always claiming that "she doesn't want to revive that subject", she is literally the only one who keeps talking about it, inventing and distorting more things every time, even 7 years later. And I have always maintained my quiet, always held on to my silence. But this week, she has made the worst accusation so far, and there is no more silence to hold on to.

This is a document directly relaying all the facts of what I lived, with any evidence that I could get in order to confirm things. This is not me asking for forgiveness. I am not here to try to convince anyone that doesn't like me to change their opinion.

I've learned after all these years that in this situation I always am going to be seen as the one at fault. It doesn't matter what I say. Any kind of defense or argument is going to always be accused of "silencing" her.

And, if I keep quiet, like I did for all of these years, that would be interpreted as me "keeping quiet because it confirms the truth". And she'll continue accusing me of more and more absurd things.

So then, like I said, this is not an apology, it's clarification. A report detailing everything that happened, point by point, about all of the events that were "exposed" by my ex-girlfriend. And from there, you all can draw your own conclusions.

I know that even after everything that I write here, many people are still going to refuse to consider the other side of things. There is an image that has been constructed of me, where I am a psychotic monster, which is difficult to erase. But this document isn't for the people who believe in that. This clarification is for those who have always been willing to understand.

I just want people to finally hear my story and take away what they will from it. I am no longer going to let this destroy the lives of the people that I love in the same way that it destroyed mine.

ASEXUALITY AND THE SEXUAL ASSULT ACCUSATION

I am going to begin by directly responding to the accusation that is making me publish this report after all of these years of silence. I have never been accused of something as absurd as this, and I am completely certain that I can PROVE that it is IMPOSSIBLE that this claim is real.

After years accusing me of countless things, for the first time my ex-girlfriend has decided to accuse me of an unforgivable crime. She posted a tweet that mentions me by name, implying that I sexually violated her.

Without any proof, after years of making one exposure after another, trying to destroy my image and my life, she's finally decided to call on a lie about the worst thing that she can:

[A tweet from a fan and a reply from the ex-girlfriend]

(Fan) "I'm never going to forget the details she gave about how insane it was to give pussy to Cellbit because his dick was thick"

(Ex-girlfriend) "I really want you guys to stop reviving the sexual assault that I sufferered without having any understanding of things, as if it's funny. Unfortunately, I thought it was normal to feel pain and suffer a shitload of pressure to feed into his self-esteem publicly, and so I said shit that I thought would please him. You all should be embarrassed, bunch of assholes."

I am asexual.

All of my personal friends have known for many years that I am asexual, and I had mentioned it before in some different places publically. My sexuality was never a subject that I spoke much about, but was also never something that I tried to hide.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and an unnamed individual, dated 27th July, 2020.]

(Cellbit) "[Fans on YouTube] made a compilation of all the times I've shown being asexual on the internet"

(unnamed) "afkahfkhfks amazing / people are talking about that / you're fine with it?"

(Cellbit) "It doesn't matter to me, I won't have to suffer prejudice for it if I don't reveal it directly / despite wanting to eventually, only for those who are able to comfortably accept it as is"

(unnamed) "I understand / If one day you want to, you should speak about it. I think that it's more of a positive thing than a negative tbh lmao"

To be brief, this doesn't mean that I cannot have sex, but I simply don't have interest or desire to.

[An image of a youtube video thumbnail and title. The thumbnail is of Cellbit with a quote that says "I don't like to have sex," the title is "Cellbit, are enigmas better than sex?" the video is dated to four years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I've always been like this, ever since I was a child. And, despite being interested romantically in people and falling in love normally, I do not feel the desire to have sexual relations of any kind.

I always grew up feeling that there was something different about me in contrast to other people. I questioned my sexuality a lot, not understanding if I was gay or if there was something physically wrong with me, and I thought that maybe I would understand everything once I lost my virginity. This happened with my ex-girlfriend, and ever since that first time I had sex, I knew that this was really just the way I am. I began researching, reading about asexuality on the internet and talking with a psychologist about it.

Despite this, I can have and have had sexual relationships in my life. I just don't feel any desire or physical need to have sex.

Including, actually, that I have a healthy sex life with my current girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend is now accusing me of sexual assault. We had sexual relations consistently, always when she wanted, it was always her who initiated, and she always told me that there was something wrong with me. It was a topic that she repeatedly brought up to humiliate me around friends, as well. Sometimes as little jokes, but other times in much more exposing ways. On one occasion, for example, we went out with some friends and she asked for one of them to give me a "lesson on sex" so that I "do things more enthusiastically."

She also constantly would tell me that I should go to be examined and get medical treatment to try and "fix" me. All of the sexual relations that I had with her went until she felt satisfied, and then she would tell me to finish up alone.

I talked with her numerous times about being asexual when we were together. I mentioned that I'd spoken about it in therapy and that I was reading more about it in online communities. She didn't believe that it was possible, and insisted that I had something wrong with me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018. This is a repeat image of one that appears earlier in the document]

(ex-girlfriend) "There isn't a normal way to ask about this / I'm just curious / are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "As in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

Even after we ended our relationship, when we spoke again in 2018, she still invalidated my sexuality.

I lost count of how many times she made me feel obligated to have sex with her, even when I clearly didn't want to, just so that she would feel satisfied, because of the fear that if I didn't do it, she would cheat on me.

Even knowing that it was a matter I didn't want disclosed, she still spoke publicly about our sex life just to make me feel more pressured to "go and see what's wrong with me sooner."

[A screenshot of a video with the thumbnail most of the way cut out, titled "Cellbit's girlfriend talking about his dick", dated 6 years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I couldn't understand exactly why she decided to lie about something that she knew I would never have had the capacity to do.

THE ABUSE THAT I SUFFERED

In addition to all of that, I had been sexually abused when I was 9 years old by my neighbor when I lived inland in the countryside, and she knew about this. This is a story that I avoided speaking about the most that I could, I never had the courage to even tell this to my mother, and my ex KNEW that I NEVER wanted to disclose this to the whole internet, no matter what happened. It was something that left me with massive trauma that is still very difficult to talk about.

Very few people in my social circle know about this, because it's something that pains me greatly to remember. In 2019, I also told part of the story to some mods and people in my off-stream chat community that I trusted.

[A series of chat history messages from Cellbit, dated to 19th May, 2019.]

"The older person wasn't a man / ...... / The story starts in the chicken coop / when I, my neighbor [redacted], who was the same age as me, and his older sister were playing wedding / I was the groom, she was the bride, and [redacted] was the minister / Their parents had left the house and it was just us three in the chicken coop of the abandoned train station house / After the ceremony, we didn't kiss, but me and the girl went into their parent's bedroom to have a "honeymoon" / but, I was only 9 years old and didn't know what sex was / I just knew that people got naked on a bed / so [redacted] stayed outside of the room, and me and his sister got naked on the bed, rubbing against eachother pretending that we were having sex. I thought that that was actually real sex and was mortified, she was a lot older and I didn't know why she was doing that"

And now, YEARS AFTER living that hell, being humiliated different times by her, questioning my own sexuality, feeling used, she makes a post implying that I committed the worst and most disgusting crime that exists. A crime that I suffered through.

A person that she KNOWS would never be able to commit that. But she feels free to accuse me because until today I have always kept silent.

Accusing me of something that was literally never mentioned by her before, suddenly, on the week that I am going to participate in an international award ceremony. It's something that comes up in a new story that she deletes soon after giving people just enough time to take a screenshot, like she always does.

She always alleged that we had a toxic relationship, but now, in 2024, she accuses me of sexual assault, without any kind of proof, and never having spoken about that before in all these years.

Even after 7 years, she continues controlling my life, forcing me to publicly humiliate myself and talk about the most intimate side of my life, making me expose my sexuality and the fact that I was abused when I was a kid, just to be able to prove that I would never do something as terrible as that.

For me, this is the limit.

I have always had empathy and concern for her, and she never stopped. I just want to live my life in peace.

THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE OTHER ACCUSATIONS

I met my ex-girlfriend in 2015, at an event called XMA 2015. I had a panel to talk with some followers and take some photos after. During these events, all of the guests stayed separated in some rooms where we could talk. There, I met her for the first time and we very quickly began to flirt with eachother.

[An article heading titled "XMA Mega Arena 2015: Event assembling champions and stars of e-sports" the subtitle reads "Fans of the main e-sports titles are able to watch the championships of the major Brazilian gaming teams," dated to the 1st of May, 2015]

[A video thumbnail titled "XMA - day 1," dated to 8 years ago. It is set 6:48 into the video, a woman can be seen on camera from waist to chin]

My ex-girlfriend present at the event in a video:

[A link to the above described video, which is included in the original document] - Video proving that she was at the event.

[An article headline with the title "XMA Mega Arena 2015 | Youtubers are a big attraction in an e-sports event," the subtitle reads "On the first day of the event, content creators call more attention than the champions", a quote at the top of the article reads "Man, do you guys know if Cellbit is going to leave to give autographs?" dated to 1st May, 2015. A link to this is included in the original document]

An interview that I gave at the event, proving that I was there.

We chatted for around 30 minutes, I had just turned 18 and had never had a partner. She was older, 20, and had already had various boyfriends before. We got eachother's numbers on WhatsApp, and I left to do my panel. At the end of the event, we encountered eachother again and continued talking a bit more.

During that night, I went to send a message to her and noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture was a selfie of a man, not her. I thought that she had given me the wrong number, but I sent a message and in a few seconds saw her changing her avatar to a photo of her and responding to me soon after.

I asked who it was in that photo, and she said that it was a joke that she was doing pretending to be a friend. We continued flirting and exchanging messages for some time, until someone informed me that she apparently had a boyfriend.

She was dating a professional LOL player, and had gone to the XMA event as his companion. His team was participating in the championship of the event.

[A low quality image of an information page about XMA 2015, including the location and date of the event, and some teams]

The LOL championship at XMA that her boyfriend was playing in

When I asked about this, she told me that he was just a fling (he wasn't, they were dating), but that she was going to end the relationship soon because she claimed that he "was rude to her." She said that she was just waiting for the right moment to be finished with him because he "was in a championship and she was going to affect his career."

While this was happening, she asked me to travel to her city so that we could meet. It was there that, a few days later, we found ourselves in Monte Alto, a small town in the countryside where she lived, and we stayed together in an inn.

[An image of a travel ticket for Cellbit, dated to 13th May, 2015]

Fare to Monte Alto, 10 days after meeting her at the event

[A post by the ex-girlfriend, dated 28 May, 2020. A link to this is included in the original document]

"I lived in Monte Alto"

It was in this inn that she cheated on her boyfriend with me, and was then that I lost my virginity, believing that she already wasn't speaking with him anymore. As it was my first time, she was constantly complaining and making jokes about me being inexperienced.

That was the day that I started to understand that I am asexual, something that would become important later on in our relationship.

We continued our relations for a few more weeks, where she would always give excuses for the reason she had not broken up with her boyfriend yet, saying that she was almost finished, that there was just one more game of his, it was just one more weekend.

Eventually, she asked me to help her write a breakup message for her boyfriend in a skype call, and finally we could have a "real relationship." But, the damage was already done, and I just hadn't noticed yet. I still didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and she was my first girlfriend. I was in love with a person who was manipulating and lying to her previous boyfriend, while she did the same thing to me.

Some of the people in the LOL scene who had met her informed me that she used to "switch boyfriends quite frequently" and that they had heard stories about cheating before.

That whole situation left me extremely traumatized and paranoid, but this was only the beginning.

A few months passed, we dated long distance for some time, and afterwards the two of us moved to São Paulo into different apartments. She was living with her sister and studying at college, and I moved in with some friends into an apartment.

All of this initial context is important for what came later.

HER ACCUSATIONS

In the accusations that she made after we broke up, the events have always been distorted and described in an ambiguous manner, using words like "abuser" and "aggressor" in order to give the understanding that what happened may or may not have been some kind of assault.

Among other things, she said that: "I kicked her out of the house," that she "was locked in a bathroom," that I called her names and that I "threw her things away."

All of these stories are distortions of one singular event.

On the contrary from what she insinuated when she said that "I kicked her out of the house," we never lived together. She was 20 minutes away from me, though she slept at my house sometimes, because we were dating.

During our relationship, she was constantly telling stories about a specific ex-boyfriend. An abuser who did cocaine, sexually harassed her, broke into her house, threatened to kill himself to stay with her, and that she'd had to call the police on him before. She said that she had him blocked everywhere, but that he still tried to talk with her after years, and had even followed her back to her house one time.

Eventually, in a moment where we were together, she was using her phone beside me and a Facebook Messenger notification appeared on the screen. It was a message sent by this ex, who I'd heard numerous stories about being a psychotic abuser, apparently responding to a message from her. I have never in my life seen someone swipe a message off the screen as fast as she did in that moment.

That was that day I discovered it wasn't just that she hadn't blocked him, but that they were talking about possibly getting back into a relationship. All of those messages were from the same week, as she was still dating me.

I confronted her for cheating on me, then, and told her to leave my apartment and go home. She began to scream and cry, shoved me, slapped me in the face, and locked herself in the bathroom saying that she wouldn't leave.

She used to hit me constantly, which back then I believed was "normal" because it was my first relationship. I thought that all girlfriends must hit their boyfriends, and even more so because she was a woman and smaller than me. At that time I didn't consider it to be "actual assault," even if it did hurt me.

Even with her slapping me and shoving me more than once, I never fought back or laid a finger on her.

I knocked on the bathroom door saying that she needed to gather her things and leave my house, and she refused. This is the story that she turned into "I locked her in the bathroom"- since, because the bathroom key was kept inside the bathroom, it would have been impossible for this, and illogical to lock a person outside of the bathroom while I was trying to break up with them for cheating on me.

As she'd refused to leave, I said that I would leave her things at the exit of the apartment and when she decided to go she could look for them there. I then put her bag in the building's garage. This was what she made into "I threw her things away."

[A tweet by the ex-girlfriend]

"He woke me up, angry because I warned a friend not to talk to him anymore because my ex was jealous, so he kicked me out of the house without shoes and threw my things in the apartment's garbage."

And yes, I did call her names when I discovered that she was cheating. And she called me just as many as I called her, if not even more. She'd make me feel like a monster no matter what'd happened, literally inventing things that I never said and making me believe I said things that I don't remember saying.

After that, we stayed apart for some months, but still kept in contact and saw eachother a few times. She invented dozens of different excuses, from "It wasn't exactly that and I understood wrong" to "She was just talking to her ex then because she was scared that he would do something to me."

She always knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate things in a convincing manner. Eventually, we went back to dating again, but obviously my psyche was already completely destroyed.

With the passage of time, our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I would catch her lying about little things compulsively and all of the time. I noticed that she would always change some details in stories she told, she constantly talked shit about all of her friends and mainly about her best friend at the time, or other specific things that didn't make sense like saying she'd never felt attraction for any man besides me.

At events, she would say that other streamers were hitting on her, just to see my reaction, and in one situation in particular, she flirted with another influencer so much that he tried to kiss her in front of me. Then when I confronted him, he justified it by saying she'd implied that we had an open relationship.

Besides this, she continued having more and more violent outbursts, often in public over small things, such as yelling at me in the middle of a restaurant with my friends because I put ketchup on the side of the fries plate without asking for permission from her, and then calling an uber and leaving.

Or even to the point of creating situations to blackmail me with, like hiding the notebook I was using for work and refusing to give it back to me until I'd done what she wanted.

Another one of her stories included a party where I "abandoned her and left"- at this party, we had a fight after I saw her giving her number to a guy she'd just met while I was in the bathroom. She justified this with "He looked sad so she went to talk to him and let him know that if he needed anything he could send her a message." After that, I went to the other side of the party, and when I came back, I could not find her anywhere. I looked everywhere for her and nobody had seen or knew where she was. I had her phone with me, and searched the party for almost an hour without finding her. I thought that she'd maybe gotten a taxi home or hitched a ride with someone. An hour later, a friend of hers dropped her off at my apartment and she said that she had been on the second story of the party (which was a closed off section, there was no party there, I never would have thought of going up to the second floor to look for her) venting and talking with a friend.

She also claimed that I wasn't supportive and that I tried to hinder her from creating content on the internet, when all of the first edited vlogs on her channel were recorded on my camera, and I was also the one to teach her to edit her own videos.

She made me believe that I was dependent on her, that I would never find someone who really loved me, that all of the others would only stay with me for the interest and the followers. And I believed her.

Eventually, after two years of an extremely toxic relationship, I finally decided to break up with her in 2017.

Even after we ended our relationship she continued her behavior of compulsively lying and manipulating. In the same month that we ended our relationship, she got together with another influencer that she had been talking with for a while. In 2018, while she was still dating him, she would secretly talk with me and say that she still loved me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex, dated 9th July, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "You were enough [text that is cut off on the screenshot] / just for understanding who I was / or laughing at my jokes / or staying with me / etc"

(Cellbit) "I love you / sorry that's fucked up"

(ex-girlfriend) "I love you too / eh, [I'm] equally fucked up JFDKSJKA / It's too intense to ignore"

(Cellbit) "But I could never stop fucking loving you, Flavia"

(ex-girlfriend) "Okay, look, I already knew this / IQ of 220"

(Cellbit) "And I know that you have a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude or say anything because I know how unfair that would be for you"

Including, we had NUMEROUS conversations about our relationship where we asked for forgiveness from one another. Even with her publicly saying that "we'd never resolved it" in her livestreams, we talked normally as if everything was fine.

This is literally the last interaction that we had before she blocked me and did the streams claiming that I was a psychopath who destroyed her life:

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 4th August, 2018]

(Cellbit, in English) "Hey / ummm / I love you and think you are [incredible] okay. Maybe today is a normal day but I want you to remember that when you are feeling down or anxious or sad. I dunno, okay bye sleep well / Also this really looks like a drunk message but I swear I'm sober / [audio message] Here's Tingrinho being a little engine as proof"

(ex-girlfriend) "WHAT A CUTE PURR / and really, thank you / c:"

The last interaction before all of the exposures in which she claimed that "we'd never resolved it" and never talked about it.

After everything, she still had the capacity to use my depressive period and exposing my suicide attempt as a way to VILLAINIZE me. It was the worst time I went through in my life. I couldn't work, I started doing drugs for some months, and could only think about committing suicide every day. I only made it through alive because my BEST FRIEND went rushing to my house to save my life.

It's something that I am always going to be grateful for, something that I am never going to be able to forget, and something that he also never spoke about because he knew that it was something I was trying to forget. It was an extremely traumatic period in my life and I promised that I would never relive it.

Another story that I NEVER wanted to have to tell, and one that she EXPOSED on a livestream of hers, like somehow me trying to kill myself was proof that I am a monster.

And even after all of this, I continued my silence, watching her distort everything that we'd lived and transforming me into a monster for all of the internet, scared that if I responded, everything would become 10 times bigger and worse, and the internet would make both of our lives hell.

When I gave an interview on the program of another influencer and was asked what the reason was for the breakup, I tried not to start a war or create gossip, giving a generic answer, saying that we went our ways and that everything was fine, because we really were talking normally. My ex used this to villainize me, saying that I was trying to lie about our relationship in the interview in order to "erase my wrongs."

[A messaging string between Cellbit and the interviewer, dated 4th August, 2019]

(Interviewer) "Man, this bullshit is all exploding, do you want to speak about this with me?"

(Cellbit) "Hey, [redacted] first off I'm very sorry that you got stuck in the middle of this without having any relation to it / So, about your video, this is by far one of the most unfair things in this whole story, because she made it out as if it was a lie, but everything I said was 100% true. / Or at least that was what I thought at the time, that we had everything resolved and were both fine on our own. / Considering, she and I used to talk just fine on WhatsApp"

(Interviewer) "Magical. I imagine that she was insulted by me because of the video"

Explaining to the interviewer that what I said was true and that we were speaking normally, like the screenshot above proves, despite her not believing it.

I was always scared that everything would become a circus, everyone watching as two lives collapsed, when all that I wanted was for her to be fine and leave me in peace.

After we broke up, I spent years without being able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, holding on to numerous traumas, believing that I would never be able to trust other people again, and that I was never going to find someone who would accept my asexuality.

It took more than 3 years to be able to finally trust in someone again, and today I am in a new relationship of almost 4 years. An extremely healthy relationship that showed me what it really means to be able to trust in someone, and has made me into someone who becomes better every day.

But, once again, like has happened many times every year, my ex-girlfriend continues reviving and creating new stories every time something relevant happens. If I'm canceled for being an asshole and banning a guy playing Tetris, if another creator is canceled for an abusive relationship, or if I'm a participant in an important international award ceremony, she appears once more, posting something about the subject, and deleting the tweets some time later to remain in the role of someone who is being attacked and "not left in peace." Just like she's probably going to do again now.

With the passage of time, she has gone from distorting events to inventing completely new things, until at this point even the public is starting to question her motive for bringing up the same topic again and again, like saying that I "controlled what she ate" or that I "tracked her location with GPS" which are complete lies.

She also enjoys blaming me for things that I don't have the smallest relation to, like saying that my fans made her lose her Instagram and "lose job opportunities," when in reality her Instagram account was reported when she was canceled for a post complaining about an event and was mocked by various influencers and sites.

[An Instagram post by the ex-girlfriend]

"I did an event with them, two days to earn 1500 reals. They gave me the cheapest room in the hotel. IT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE- dinner options were risotto or lasagna (both microwave meals) and I had to get it downstairs. I have half a million followers and I seriously felt like a nobody."

The post of hers that resulted in the mass report that deleted her Instagram

Another thing that keeps being said incessantly on the internet is that I "never suffered any consequences even after she exposed all of that"- I lost dozens of contracts from all of the publicity agencies and producers that closed their doors on me and never invited me back to events or ads. But, I never publicly complained or disclosed this, because more than once that has resulted in a war involving the public.

All that I could do was keep working and keep believing that at some point this would all end. But everything that happened caused a surge of hate against me which generated accusations of various very serious and unacceptable crimes that random people on the internet all believed I'd committed, even without having any proof at all.

And I will not stand this any longer. I cannot put up with this knowing that my mother receives threats and terrible DMs, seeing people telling my girlfriend to kill herself or cheering for her to be abused in order to confirm the theories and accusations of my ex-girlfriend and see "Cellbit exposed once again"

[Three tweets from fans, all responding to one tweet made by Cellbit's girlfriend addressing the ex's allegations]

"In a max of 2 years she's going to post that Cellbit ruined her life with psychological problems, that he was abusive and forced her to post this"

"I hope you get fucked a lot!!! You and your shit boyfriend"

"Guys, remember when he attacked his girlfriend? Go fuck yourself Cellbit, kill yourself you piece of shit"

And I'm going to continue prosecuting everyone who continues to invent lies about me on the internet, it doesn't matter how much the engagement. If you have something to say, it's best to have proof you can take to court. It took me too long to understand that I didn't need to stay silent in the face of the atrocities that were said about me, and I am not going to stop again now.

They have already destroyed my image and my life on the internet, but I am not going to let this continue with the people close to me. I want to be happy with the people that I love, and I am not going to accept being treated like a criminal any longer.

She accused me of sexual assault, something that could end me publicly, believing that I would likely not respond because I have never responded before. She was not accusing me of being a mean, jealous or possessive boyfriend like she always used to, she accused me of a serious crime.

And now, she's going to set herself back into a position where this document is an attack on her, when all that I am doing is defending myself from the worst false accusation that has been made against me, of a crime.

I want to make it CLEAR: this document is NOT an attack or an attempt to induce hade against anybody. I am simply defending myself and giving my statement of the facts that happened. I DID NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS, but it was the only way to be honest and true to all of the people who have supported my projects and my community.

I know that people who already disliked me, whatever their reason, are still not going to believe me. Like I said, I am not here to try and change anyone's opinion.

In the end, here in this document is the proof of a pattern of lying and manipulative behavior that has happened with many people before me and that continues to happen with me repeatedly. I just want to live in peace knowing that I finally accounted for all that I experienced, and leave the space for people to draw their own conclusions.

[tbookblurbs]

Rhythm of War - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #4)

4.75/5 - Kaladin :(((; love the new POVs; quantum physics in a fantasy world?

SPOILERS below!

The time skip before this book caught me by surprise (again...) but I'm not opposed to it, especially since it seems like characters have grown and changed during that time. You can't say that for every series. That said, I do think that it leaves out some potentially important scenes, such as those where Adolin and Renarin find out their father is directly responsible for the death of their mother.

Kaladin's arc is, as per usual, my favorite in the book. He's got PTSD, he's seven feet tall, he's inventing group therapy, who's doing it like him? Multiple of his scenes move me to tears however. It's an incredibly real struggle with clinical depression on top of his PTSD and experiencing multiple lifetimes' worth of trauma in less than five years, that culminates in a passive suicide attempt. His final "hallucination" with Tien in the storm is everything to me.

I also loved Venli as a new POV character. She's so flawed as a character, and that makes her much more interesting to me. I also think that she's much more understandable/easier to empathize with in her destructive actions, even as they bring the end of the world, because of her positioning in the world. She has very natural desires that are twisted against what is good for her and her people, and I would argue she's taking too much responsibility for her part in the Everstorm. Yes, she's selfish, but no more so than any of the other lighteyes in this novel.

The other major highlight for me was the science in this novel. Much of Sanderson's descriptions about "axons" are just quantum physics and atoms, as I'm sure many people picked up. As somebody with a physics background, seeing these different ways of exploring and explaining things like quantum entanglement and seeing it actually matter in a fantasy novel is like having my cake and eating it too. Navani's work with Light (and her homoerotic relationship with Raboniel) are very well done.

Things I don't entirely like and the reason for the .25 point-dock are Navani bonding the Sibling, and Dalinar as a whole to be honest. With the former, as much as I like Navani, I really wanted to see Rlain as a Bondsmith. He is actively trying to be a unifier in a way that Navani is not, though Navani and her fabrial knowledge is very well matched with the Sibling.

With respect to Dalinar, while I still find him an interesting character, the things I didn't like about him in past books come out in full force here. He's overbearing, he micromanages, he believes that his vision (and only his) is the correct path forward, he can't accept disagreement, he holds everyone to standards he himself doesn't meet, etc. He also doesn't face any significant challenge to those beliefs in this book, aside from Jasnah verbally challenging him. I also just don't understand how Renarin and Adolin continue to see Dalinar as "the most honorable man they know" when, and this is explicit in the text, he is not. I also don't love the deal he makes, but that's a smaller issue I suppose.

Now that Wind and Truth are coming out this year, I interested to see where Sanderson ends this final chapter. Hoping to see more of Lift and a less-depressed Kaladin!

[gust-jar-simulator]

Somebody liked my post on evil Red so here’s a teaser for Penumbra, featuring Legend and Blue.

-🐇❄️🧊❄️🐇-

Legend… really didn’t know what to think of his new captors. He’d been expecting a cell, maybe some shackles. At worst, fucked up dark magic and torture devices. This room was certainly functioning as his cell, but there were rugs and little seating poufs and a slightly-better-than-shitty bed, all in alarming shades of pastel that clashed horribly with the bare stone and rune-enforced door.

If he thought about it too hard he felt like a pet, so he didn’t. No need to tempt the already sadistic gods.

He’d heard the three shadows bickering outside his door maybe an hour ago- the greenish one had been throwing his authoritative weight around, it sounded like, demanding an interrogation, but the other two had headed him off with mentions of “Vio” and the game and something about hospitality that had devolved into a shouting match. At this rate he was just sort of hoping they remembered Hylians needed to eat. Why invent future horrors when he could wait patiently and see them for himself?

He was busy considering the cracks in the walls when the door finally creaked open on heavy hinges, and the blue one hustled into the cell with a platter of something, collapsing back against the door with a harried sigh that echoed strangely.

“Fuck everything,” the ice-encrusted shadow hissed, “but fuck that guy in particular.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

The dark’s head snapped up, frozen eyes gleaming with a sick milky film. “Excuse you?”

“Oh, sorry,” the veteran drawled. “I meant to say the weather’s so nice today.” He leaned back on the bed, eyeing the windowless walls appreciatively. “Kind of monastery chic meets little girls’ tea party. Bold choice for a prison, I like your moxie.”

With an utterly disgusted noise, the dark stepped forward to drop the platter a little too roughly on a tea table- mostly fruits, nuts, and a few mushrooms, with an entire waterskin instead of a cup. He then straightened a chair, a doily, and gave a rug in the corner a particularly severe look like he was resisting the urge to completely pull it up, hands flexing a couple of times.

Legend watched with great interest as he hissed between his teeth again, icy vapor misting in the air. “This is stupid. We both know this game is fucking stupid.”

Well. He wasn’t expecting one of his captors to crack so soon. “I’m the guy in a box.”

“Yeah?” There was a crunching, grinding noise as the shadow turned to glare at him sightlessly, clear water dripping from a crack in his stony neck. “Well our guy in your box is a massive fucking problem, because I give it a week max before Red or Green or both can’t handle the fucking temptation of a good guy on our turf.”

He liked to consider himself a reasonable guy. Villains typically didn’t have much worthwhile to say but gloating or breakdowns of their own weaknesses, and this was decidedly the latter but far too soon. He frowned. “Uh. What about you? Gonna give in and eat me or something?”

“You wish I’d eat you.” Blue- that had to be his name- started pacing, rugs glittering with frost as he started wearing a trench in the floor. “If I had my way I’d drop you right back on the Goddess’s golden tits. Or a ditch. But the game’s been set, and there’s rules to this shit, so here you are and here I am and Vio is pulling a goddamned stunt that will get us all killed.”

Legend dragged over a pillow and propped it behind his back. “Do I get a reward if I pretend to be empathetic or something? Is this group therapy or just a you thing.”

Blue made a noise like a feral boar, and the temperature dropped so fast his ears popped.

Right. Unknown and unpredictable shadow monsters with possible elemental affinities. That. Legend swallowed, and licked his dry lips.

Dragging his compusure together, thread by tenuous thread, Blue took several deep breaths that fogged the air around him like the cloudy crown of a mountain. “I mean this in the most genuine way you’ll ever hear: watch your fucking mouth, you stupid piece of shit.” He marched closer, cold as rain and twice as unpleasant, to stand a respectable foot away from the bed and glare down at him. “I’m a lovely spring flower compared to the rest because I don’t want shit to do with you. Your only fucking use to me is collateral for my teammate’s health. Green thinks you might be useful. You don’t want to be useful.” He leaned down slightly, voice lowering like someone could hear. “Red wants to be friends, but if you get uppity you’ll wish he’d just killed you. And I won’t stop him, because I love him more than I care about your fucking well-being. Get me?”

“Gotten.” He was very, very uncomfortable having a possible ice elemental within spitting distance, but heroes thrive under pressure. He could work with this. He could sit put and be boring, or he could push his shitty luck. The man leaning over him was cracked like oracle bones. “What about Dark? Should I be expecting courting gifts?”

“Dark doesn’t know you’re here.”

What. Did they sneak him into the enemy’s base for fun?

They’d been calling it a game from the start.

Shit.

Shit.

[wesavegotham]

I'm far from the first person to point out that Zdarsky is pulling heavily from Morrison's Batman run, several reviewers noticed that in the Failsafe arc it was mainly the inclusion of the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh and how the newly introduced Failsafe was the back-up plan of the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh who is himself a back-up personality Bruce used in Morrison's run in case his normal mind should get broken.

But Tim's quest to bring back Bruce to the main universe in Zdarsky's second arc truly reads like a full-on Tim Drake fix-it-fanfiction for "slights" done to him during the Batman and Robin reborn era.

Bruce and Tim prepare to have a last stand united as Batman and Robin against Failsafe:

Other Robins get flaws invented to prop up Tim as the perfect Robin:

This time Tim is there when Bruce gets displaced with Bruce's last words trying to console Tim:

Once again Tim is the only one believing that Bruce isn't dead, the only one working on bringing him back home:

Once again Tim is on the verge of losing his mind:

When he teams up with Nightwing to fight some goons who try to take advantage of Batman's absence Tim get's to save Nightwing:

Everyone is acting like Tim is crazy, but this time big bro believes him:

But oh no, Dick thinks Bruce will make it back home alone and doesn't need their help to do so (spoiler: of course Dick is wrong about that):

Tim is the only one who understands that Senpai- er- I mean Batman is not himself and needs him!

Seriously, can somebody like...get him therapy? Tim's extreme worship of Batman always disturbs me and both writers and fans act like that is his best quality.

Tim gets to save a bunch of innocent people:

Even after all this time Tim never seems to have developed a moral code that goes beyond proving to Bruce that he's a good boy who will always do what Bruce wants him to do:

Tim faces down a whole group of enemies all alone and wins effortlessly:

And of course saves everybody:

Tim needs to do this alone for some reason:

I just know that if Damian was in his place the writer would insist that he needs the entire batfamily or whatever new character they are trying to push with him to do this mission. But this is a Tim fix-it fanfiction so of course Tim gets to have the glory all to himself.

We get it Tim, you are (still) Robin:

Honestly, the only true suprise of this story was that Tim chose to visit his mother first before rescuing Bruce:

Of course she also tells him how good he is:

Again. We get it:

Dick was wrong. Batman can't make it home on his own. He's stranded in the dark. But what is this? A shining Tim Drake Robin floating above him like an angel or even the sun, coming to rescue Bruce from his lonely darkness:

But not just a Robin. No. It's HIS Robin. Forget all about the other kid that would actually get to be Batman's Robin right now if DC wasn't currently lead by Tim Drake fanboys who are still stuck in the 90s.

And of course Bruce immediately thanks him for saving him.

But honestly. I'm not even truly convinced that this story helped Tim all that much. I've seen lots of Tim fans over the years who are also frustrated that writers just don't allow Tim to grow past his old Robin days and this story showed very clearly that Tim is still very much in the same place he was in 20 years ago. He hasn't evolved. Instead he's hanging on to a role that should probably belong to another character by now, but both him and the current writers just don't seem able to let go.

Of course I don't know what Zdarsky's or DC's next plans for Tim are. I would be more accepting of this if it was some kind of last feel-good best-of for Tim Drake fans so maybe they can now finally feel like they got closure and let Tim make way for Damian as the sole Robin for good. But I'm not betting on it.

I'm not putting this in the Tim Drake tag on purpose. In the end it is DC's fault that even though they are both Robin right now the kind of stories they get with Bruce are as different as night and day.

I simply need the people who read my posts to understand what I mean when I say that the two recent stories we got that involved Batman needing to be rescued by Robin, Batman vs Robin for Damian and Zdarsky's Batman run for Tim, couldn't be more different and are not treating them with equal amount of respect.

Batman vs Robin is pure dogshit in comparison to the strong fanservice Zdarsky is serving Tim fans here.

[banavalope]

Not to be rude but it’s not really ridiculous for somebody to get prickly when you reblog an article that whines about people softblocking the author for being fine with somebody creating erotic pedophiliac content.

I want to tell you that I genuinely appreciate you being the first of, like, anybody to actually tell me what your interpretation of the article was. It gives me a jumping off point for something I've been thinking about all day, which if you're not in the mood for that feel free to tune out after the first paragraph responding directly to you. Otherwise, I'm just using this as an opportunity to open the floor for discussion.

That was not my takeaway from that article, nor has that been the takeaway I've seen other people have, including people I had to ask in my real life about it. I assumed I must have read it wrong by the strong reaction I got. So I would say that, from my perspective, it was in fact very ridiculous. I also respectfully disagree with your interpretation. To even call it whining I find is an incredibly poor read of it. Maybe there's some layer of discourse I'm not privy to, they left names out so I can't investigate these accused artists for myself.

But this perfectly segues us to what I really want to talk about. The entire article is from a japanese artist aimed at a japanese audience, explaining how the word "proship" is an american fandom centric term that has no specific meaning, and therefore cannot be taken at face value. I understand the people coming at me for reblogging it feel that we all unanimously agree proship specifically refers to being pro incest/pedophilia, but I regret to inform you it's not as unanimous as you think.

As someone who was around in 2015 when the words "proship" and "anti" started to enter the common fandom vernacular, the muddling of what proship actually meant can be pinpointed to bad actors in the MHA twitter fandom at the time, popularizing the use in order to attack people that shipped BakuDeku, or fans who wanted Endeavor to have a redemption arc. This is when the meaning of being "proship" or "anti" began to get extremely conflated.

I'll take a step back real quick to say that the words "pro shipper" and "anti shipper" have been used since the 90s to mean, quite simply, someone who wants to talk about shipping or someone who doesn't. There was no laundry list of ulterior meanings, it was a way to identify who in fandom had no interest in shipping. This is also coming from someone who's been around in these spaces long enough to know this as fact from experience.

Somewhere along the way it started meaning pedophilia/incest/abuse, I find that very suspicious the way it shifted meanings from something so literally innocent, to something so ambiguously ill intended, when you can just say "they fetishize incest" without having to bring shipping into it. You can just call someone a MAP, what does shipping have to do with it. More people should be questioning why that is.

Who benefits from ambiguous terms the most? What kind of people are looking for ways to get around calling themselves pedophiles? Why let them feel safe in fandom spaces by giving them ample opportunity to hide behind something that has nothing to do with them. Shipping isn't your problem dude, you like children, fucking go to therapy. (not a statement aimed at you, the anon)

People are taking issue with the article even wanting to have a nuanced discussion about the word proship, when they should actually be taking issue with the fact nobody knows who our enemies and allies are anymore because we keep inventing new ways to include our personal """squicks""" (for lack of a better word, not huge on the word squick tbh) into it. Just say what you hate, it's fine. I hate people who abuse children, I hate people who abuse adults, I hate terfs, I hate fascists, I hate incest, I don't like pregnancy, eye stuff is weird, death makes me really upset, I think I should be allowed to kiss Rom the Vacuous Spider. Really easy to just say that in no uncertain terms. Anybody of all languages can pick up what I'm putting down.

If someone from another country cannot understand the point you're trying to convey without you first giving them a fandom history lesson as to what it really really means for REAL to be called a proshipper, idk maybe just say you hate pedophiles instead, coward (not calling you, the anon, a coward. I have aimed this at God himself).

And keep in mind too, this is barely a fraction of a tangent to a larger discussion that could be had about this, philosophically. We haven't even touched on the effect media has in real life, the dissolution of fandom minors being able to have safe friendships with fandom mentors, or even how the recent infighting of fandom, and fandom """""Purity Politics""""""" of the last 5 years, can be traced back to decisions made by corporate web3.0 wanting to monetize its 3 biggest platforms SO BADLY that it refuses to create spaces for minors to escape adults. A minor cannot even play roblox without being under threat of a 30 year old content creator existing near them, and I think that's fucked up.

A real plethora of nuanced discussion here to be had.

[c0rpseductor]

bitching and moaning post

i know the satanic panic was completely nuts and that nothing that was alleged in it actually happened in any way. i still hate seeing it mentioned so much bc so many people will bring up fucking false memory syndrome foundation talking points in response, like "they implanted false memories in kids to make them say this shit, remember that it's what happens to everyone who says they had a 'repressed memory' and that's always how they 'retrieve' these things in therapy, DID came out of the satanic panic and it's not a real diagnosis and the people who claim to suffer from it...uhhh idk made it up for attention and weren't really abused i guess!"

it's so fucking exhausting. i know i shouldnt have looked in the tags of that post and it's my own fault for upsetting myself. i just wish people wouldn't say shit like this. i hate feeling like nobody would believe me about what abuse i suffered in my family just because i had such difficulty with recall. like yes it is possible to forget parts of a trauma and still have it affect you that's why it's part of the diagnostic criteria for fucking ptsd. not everyone who claims to have forgotten something is making shit up or talking about like. remembering things bc of fucking hypnosis therapy. when i was in therapy most of what happened was me describing fucking actual abuse that was happening in my family right then and having nobody give a shit bc Kids Are Dramatic. nobody was trying to make me think i was abused because nobody listened to me about the abuse i was even able to articulate was happening.

and like. saying DID was fucking invented by the satanic panic isn't even fucking Accurate, but i'm just so exhausted of hearing it anyway. like ok so clearly the reason ive had all these symptoms since i was very young before i even understood DID was not "for television" (bc i legitimately thought it was like, a fictional parody of schizophrenia) is because um. ?????. yeah. no youre right when things happen to me i should definitely accept that i can't tell what they are and listen to the people who tell me that i'm stupid and nobody has ever abused me and that i can't ever trust anything i remember. you guys definitely have my best interests at heart. my dad was innocent! it was all a sexual fantasy just like freud said! nice men would never do those things! like. ugh. i just hate it i hate that i doubted myself all my life and felt so miserable going through abuse alone and being gaslit and people are STILL FUCKING DOING THE GASLIGHTING!!!!! bc they dont like. know what actually happened during the satanic panic and think loftus was right. everyone who was involved in the false memory syndrome foundation should be shot.

like. i dont want to question myself anymore. i dont want my first thought whenever i have flashbacks or get upset to be "i'm making this up. if i remember something bad it was imaginary, because nobody can forget and remember something bad. it must be satanic panic pseudoscience, somehow." why do some people think they're doing a service to survivors when they trot this shit out. idk.

i know it happened. long after i began remembering stuff my mom has alluded to my dad doing the exact same things to her, having the exact same attitudes and patterns and everything, and i think the only reason i remember anything more violent than she reports is because he understood i was forgetting things and could get away with doing stuff to me that he couldn't with somebody who would remember it. like, everything i remember is horrible, but it makes complete sense and is totally possible and doesn't contradict anything about like...my parents or my life before i began remembering or just basic things like "can someone physically do this." like my dad wasnt an evil cult wizard he was just a normal thug and rapist. idk. i just really did not need to expose myself to this stuff and it's my fault i did but. ughhh

[casgirl]

Somebody needs to invent exposure therapy no jutsu

[thenextcelestialchapter]

Somebody needs to invent an Ultra Therapy Sandwich and give ten of them to Arven...