irishxfirv-blog

[notbecauseofvictories]

[ Open House Chicago 2024 — All Saints' Episcopal Church, Dank Haus German Cultural Center, St. Mary of the Lake, Riviera Theater, Wilson Avenue Theater]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

Heather Cox Richardson

My house is blissfully quiet, but my ears are still ringing.

The first presidential debate of 2020 was unlike anything we have seen before. CNN’s Jake Tapper said: "That was a hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck." "He was his own tweets come to life." “We’ll talk about who won the debate, who lost the debate ... One thing for sure, the American people lost.” Conservative pundit William Kristol called it “a spectacle… an embarrassment… a disgrace… because of the behavior of one man, Donald Trump. The interrupting and the bullying, the absence of both decency and dignity—those were Donald Trump’s distinctive contributions to the evening, and they gave the affair the rare and sickening character of a national humiliation.”

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

In a normal presidential debate, both candidates try to explain their policy proposals, jab at their opponent, and convince undecided voters to move in their direction. If this had been a normal presidential debate, its weight would have fallen on Trump, who is significantly behind Biden, to win voters. Biden’s goal would simply have been not to lose anyone.

If we were calling this like a normal presidential debate, Trump lost. He did not move the needle in his direction. Biden won; he did not lose anyone.

But this was not a normal presidential debate.

Trump long ago gave up the pretense that he wanted to win a majority of voters. For months now, he has made no effort to reach outside of his base. Instead he has focused on solidifying and radicalizing it. As his trade war with China and the coronavirus has weakened his support, he has given massive grants to farmers, promised checks to 33 million elderly to help pay for prescriptions, splashed transportation grants around, and recently even offered grants to lobstermen who have lost business because of the trade war.

Trump set out tonight not to convince undecided voters to support him, but rather to harden his supporters and encourage them to disrupt the election so he can contest the results until the solution goes to the Supreme Court where he hopes a majority will rule in his favor. He laid it all out tonight.

His performance was no accident. He came out determined to dominate the debate in much the same way as Fox News Channel personalities or talk radio hosts dominate their shows. He interrupted, argued, lied, and generally sucked the oxygen out of the room. He cheated, refusing to follow the rules that he had agreed to, thus demonstrating that he would not be bound by the rules everyone else had to live by. He bullied moderator Chris Wallace of the Fox News Channel into repeatedly appeasing him by saying, for example, “Mr. President you’re going to be very happy, because we’re going to talk about law and order,” and “Let me ask — sir, you’ll be happy, I’m about to pick up on one of your points to ask the vice president.” Trump was attempting to demonstrate his dominance.

He went on to echo the grievances and lies that his supporters have come to believe. Ignoring the more than 200,000 Americans dead of Covid-19, he insisted he was the victim of Democrats’ lies about the disease. When Wallace tried to rein him in, he attacked him for being unfair, although Wallace never once fact-checked Trump’s lies.

If Trump had a strategy at all that involved voters, it was to try to keep them from backing Biden. Trump kept yelling at him about “Law & Order,” as he likes to tweet, and kept trying to drive a wedge between Biden and the more progressive wing of the Democratic Party, finally saying to him: “You just lost the left.”

Trump tipped his hand, though, when Wallace asked: "Are you willing, tonight, to condemn white supremacists and militia groups and to say that they need to stand down?” Trump demanded names of such groups, and Wallace named, among others, the Proud Boys, the hate group that helped to organize the riot in Charlottesville, Virginia. After hedging, Trump finally answered: "Proud Boys, stand back and stand by! But I'll tell you what, somebody's got to do something about antifa and the left." "That's my president," the head of the Proud Boys posted on the social media chair that will still host them. Within an hour the group had new shoulder patches designed with the words “Stand Back and Stand By.”

Trump called for his supporters to act as poll watchers to prevent a fraudulent vote. He is losing badly in Pennsylvania, a state he needs, and tonight he lied that Philadelphia election officials refused to permit his poll watchers to observe voting. “Bad things happen in Philadelphia,” he said, “bad things.” The truth is that seven satellite offices where voters can register and apply to vote, complete, and drop off mail in ballots opened in Philadelphia. Poll watchers are not allowed because there is no polling taking place. Trump’s calls for poll watchers are pretty clearly calls for voter intimidation.

Tonight, again, Trump refused to commit to accepting a Biden victory, saying that he could not agree to fraudulent results. He suggested the election could take months to solve, and that he “definitely” wants the Supreme Court, including his new nominee Amy Coney Barrett, to “look at the ballots.” (Democrats have said Barrett should recuse herself from any election-related cases; Republicans say that is “absurd.”)

It was a performance designed to show a strong man who is calling out his armed supporters to enable him to seize an election he cannot win freely.

But Trump performed as he did because it’s all he’s got. He has no policies, no platform, no plans that he can sell to the American people, and no attention span either to govern or to explain how he wants to govern. So his only option is to dominate. Even he knows that ploy is a desperate one. Tonight’s tell was actually in his dominance play itself: overt bullying like he displayed tonight is actually a sign of weakness and abuse, not of true power.

The bar for Biden going into this debate was low: since he is so far ahead, he simply needed not to lose votes. But he did well. First of all, he managed to retain his train of thought, which was no easy thing with Trump interrupting and lying and yelling, clearly trying to derail him and, at the very least, bring out his stutter. He put to rest Trump’s insistence that he is failing mentally.

Despite Trump, Biden also managed to explain some of his policies, too, as well as pointing out that more than 200,000 Americans have died on Trump’s watch, and that he has done the economy no favors. Under Trump, he said, America has become “weaker, sicker, poorer, more divided and more violent.”

But Biden’s strongest moments were ones Trump teed up. When Biden defended our troops from Trump’s “losers” and “suckers” comments, citing his son, Beau, who died of cancer after his service in Iraq, Trump missed the opportunity to acknowledge Biden’s loss, and instead repeatedly attacked Biden’s son Hunter, who struggled with substance abuse. Trump insisted—incorrectly—that Hunter was dishonorably discharged from the Navy (in fact, he was administratively discharged), and tried to smear him. Biden looked directly at Trump to say that Hunter had a drug addiction he is managing, and Biden is proud of him. While Biden spoke as a father defending his son, his message will resonate with the 20 million Americans who are battling addiction.

Most important, though, Biden made the debate about the country and the American people, not about Trump. While Trump listed his own grievances, Biden spoke to the camera, asking Americans what they needed, what they think. He promised that we can accomplish anything if only we work together. He urged people to ignore the chaos and vote. “Vote whatever way is the best way for you,” he said. “Because he will not be able to stop you from determining the outcome of this election.”

Biden also refused to be scared off by Trump’s threats not to honor the election results. He brushed them off, saying “I will accept it, and he will, too. You know why? Because once the winner is declared once all the ballots are counted, that’ll be the end of it.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

Heather Cox Richardson

[aion-rsa]

Wave of Sexual Misconduct Accusations Rock Comics Industry

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

CW: Sexual harassment, grooming

This week saw a wave of sexual misconduct allegations against men of varying positions in the comic book industry. The first came from artist Aviva Artzy, followed up by artist and writer Kate Leth, with support from the wife of the late Darwyn Cooke, Marsha Cooke, and convention organizer Andrea Demonakos, accusing Cameron Stewart of grooming underage girls. Grooming is when an older person establishes a relationship with a usually underage one, with the intention of developing a sexual relationship in the future. As a result of this, Stewart, the one time Batgirl co-writer and Seaguy artist, was let go from a previously unannounced DC project and had a variant cover for Image’s Ice Cream Man canceled. 

Later, former Dark Horse editor Brendan Wright was accused by former colleague Bekah Caden of an extended campaign of sexual harassment and stalking. Wright left Dark Horse in 2015, and has been dropped by Starburns Industries Press, as well as an anthology benefit comic for gun violence survivors, and multiple other small press books. 

And finally, Warren Ellis was accused by writer/editor Katie West of using his power and influence to emotionally manipulate women into often sexual relationships, emotionally abusing them, and abandoning them. West was joined by musician Meredith Yayanos, and photographer Jhayne Holmes, who later started cataloguing and providing support to other victims of Ellis. At last count, that group is over 60. Ellis has since been dropped from the Dark Nights: Death Metal anthology he was scheduled to take part in.

Ellis’ response, posted on Twitter and emailed to his newsletter list, is embarrassing in its totality. The idea that the showrunner of Netflix’s Castlevania, a man who has had multiple comics adapted into movies grossing hundreds of millions of dollars, the man whose millennial web forum launched the careers of half of comics, didn’t realize he was famous enough to abuse a power imbalance is insulting to the intelligence he used to demand of his audience. 

What these three separate instances of abuse represent are yet another example of a pattern of toxicity at the intersection of multiple forces at work in comics as a whole: a toxic undercurrent that exists inherent to fandom and the complicity it encourages, and an industry full of informal work arrangements that encourages the rapid downward distribution of exploitation. And with comics at an inflection point, caused by the massive jolt to all the systems of the world by this pandemic summer, it’s worth examining the systemic flaws that enable rampant sexual misconduct to exist as open secrets, unaddressed, for decades, and think about systemic solutions.

Just about everyone who loves comics wants to make them. This isn’t universal; there are some people who enjoy simply spectating in the medium, but if you talk to 100 comics fans, I promise 98 of them are sitting on a pitch for something. Comic conventions are packed with people looking for portfolio reviews; the internet, jammed with people trying to get their scripts looked at. 

While it was in existence, the Warren Ellis Forum was one of the most reliable pipelines for new comics talent. There are good rundowns of the contributions of the WEF to current comics culture from both pre- and post-toppling of this idol, but what neither mentions is that this was an accepted way to break into the business for a brief comics era – not only through the WEF, but through the Bendis boards, and through Mark Millar’s faint echo of the WEF, Millarworld. The internet dramatically expanded the potential audience for comics, and made it easier than ever to put out your own work, but it also combined with the superhero industry’s tendency towards bombastic personalities to channel talent development through a series of larger than life internet personas and the cyber networking events that sprang up around them. These, as is the convention social scene, are full of potential abuse.

One commonality to all of these cases (and not just these cases, but also with Brian Wood and Scott Lobdell and many others) was the access to the industry they dangled to entice women into relationships. That power imbalance is creepy and bordering on toxic from the start, even if there are anecdotes of it working out. There are different ways to solve this problem – using agents to mediate the relationship between publisher and creator, as Kelly Sue DeConnick suggests, would help, though it wouldn’t be a panacea. As would comic companies regularizing the talent scouting and development process. Greater systemic access for new creators closes off one channel that these predators hunt through. If it’s easier to get your break on superhero books through a new talent training school than it is to know somebody who knows somebody, then those intermediate somebodies lose access to impressionable, exploitable fans. 

It’s also time for comics to reexamine the freelance system. The comics industry has a long history of exploiting its workers powered by the freelance system, and an under examined side effect of freelancing is that it absolves companies of responsibility for the actions of what should be their employees. Freelancers occupy a murky area in employment law, particularly when it comes to harassment laws. Some places, like New York City, explicitly cover freelancers under sexual harassment laws. But New York is the exception to the rule. Most freelancers in any industry have no legal protection against the sexual harassment or discrimination that we seem to hear about every other month. It’s long past time for comic publishers to adopt policies to mitigate these problems. 

Finally, a portion of the responsibility for this abuse falls on all of us, the comics community. Time and time again, when one of these harassers is outed, they’re followed by stories about extensive whisper networks warning of the harasser’s behavior, or of victims being ignored, or harassment being downplayed by people in positions of authority. Every time one of these harassers is outed, the accusation is followed by a flood of additional abuse pointed at the victim. And without fail, this additional abuse falls into one of three categories: 

“[barely intelligible bigoted shrieking]”

“I like the opportunity the abuser afforded me in the industry.”

“I like the comics the abuser made.”

The first is a problem with broader civil society and won’t be eliminated until we can collectively toss hatred from acceptable public discourse, and is too big a problem to break down today. The second is a condemnation of the work arrangements common to comics and can be mitigated by the industry offering more opportunities than the abusers. The final one is a problem we should all be working to solve. 

When victims don’t feel safe standing up for themselves through official channels, it’s not just the official channels that have failed those victims. Every member of the community at large has failed those victims, by failing to demand greater accountability of the ones setting and mediating the rules of the community, failing to demand more protection on behalf of their fellow fans and friends and present and future creators. Whisper networks exist because victims aren’t heard and believed. And they perpetuate the problem – you can’t be a part of a whisper network if you’re not connected to the network. They exclude large portions of fans, who eventually may find themselves targeted by these predators. 

This is not on the whisper networks to fix, and none of this should be read as casting a drop of blame on the people working to protect whoever they can in the comics community. Nor should any blame be hung on the victims themselves – “We all should have seen the signs” is a cop out that ignores the complexity of abuse patterns and how abusers manipulate the rules to get away with their abuse. This is on the companies to fix, by ending their support and protection for known abusers. This is on the comics media, to stop promoting and protecting known abusers. This is on cons, to stop platforming abusers and to do what they can to control the social scene that springs up around them. And this is on all of us as fans, to stop putting these people on pedestals. Sometimes a monument needs to be torn down.

The post Wave of Sexual Misconduct Accusations Rock Comics Industry appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Comics – Den of Geek https://ift.tt/31b9y2C

[gracewithducks]

Wonder (Luke 2:1-7) - Sunday School Stories #13, preached 12/1/2019

Almost a year ago, one of my husband’s friends told Mike about the great deals his family had found at Niagara Falls in Canada over American Thanksgiving. Because it’s out of tourist season, and because Canadian children and workers don’t get a break for an American holiday, the prices and the crowds are both pretty low. Mike said, “Why don’t we go to Niagara Falls for Thanksgiving next year?”

 I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes. I may have laughed in his face. Because Niagara Falls �� in November – with children… all I could imagine were all the ways things could go wrong. It could be frigidly cold. It could rain the whole trip. We could get snowed in and not be able to go at all. Our kids might look at the waterfalls, shrug their shoulders, and say, “Meh. What else you got?” - - and we might not have a good answer.

 But Mike was persistent. Our girls were, at that moment, fascinated with waterfalls; they’re growing quickly, to the point where we no longer have to travel with strollers or plan around naptimes. We looked at prices. We discovered all kinds of indoor back-up options. And we booked a hotel we would never, ever, ever have been able to justify splurging on without the off-season deals – a hotel overlooking the Falls. We made a countdown calendar, and our kids have been crossing off the days until our trip ever since before Labor Day.

 Finally, finally, it was time to go. Our girls were nervous about crossing over into another country, only to find that Ontario, Canada looks an awful lot like Michigan. We drove past farms and forests, and lots of wind turbines, and strange foreign restaurants and shops with names like “Home Depot” and “McDonalds.” Our ten-year-old was pretty excited when we saw our first sign for Shoppers, the store mentioned in the musical Come From Away, and our five-year-old was excited with every Canadian flag we saw.

 And finally we started seeing signs for Niagara Falls. We could see the towers of hotels rising on the skyline. We could see the mist rising from the Falls, and the girls rolled down their windows to see if they could hear the water’s roar. We checked into our hotel, rode the elevator to the tenth floor, walked into our room, and the girls immediately ran to the window.

Their jaws dropped. There really is no way to prepare yourself for the Falls: they are just so big; there is so much water, rushing, pouring, constantly, unendingly, more and more and more. And the mist gives a sense of magic and wonder to it all.

 Our oldest looked. And looked. And looked. She excitedly pointed out to her sister the Horseshoe Falls, and the American Falls, and the little Bridal Veil Falls in between; she pointed to the Rainbow Bridge, and the wrecked ship which has hovered above the falls for over a century. And she said, with a contented sigh, “I don’t think I could ever get tired of that view.”

 And then she said, “Can I watch something on the iPad?”

 And we all started laughing. It became a joke this week; every time we returned to our room, one of us would look out the window, and say, “I’ll never get tired of that view… I wonder what’s on TV?”

 There we were, on the brink of one of the wonders of the world – there we were, with all the people we loved most in the world – there we were, in a place people travelled from the world over to see – in a place where explorers would fall down and pray in terror – in a place where kings and queens have walked, where daredevils dreamed the impossible – there we were, and it was amazing… but it was also amazing how quickly we just got used to that beautiful site.

 “I don’t think I could ever tired of that view… I wonder what’s on TV?”

 How quickly we lose our sense of awe; how quickly we take even the most incredible wonders for granted. I remember the first time I ever heard of electronic mail; I was amazed by the idea that I could send a message to someone and they could see it immediately. But now many of us use email daily without a second thought. I remember when our family got our first remote control for the television, and I was intimidated by the idea that you could change the channel without even standing up. And I remember our first VCR, the novelty of being able to record a program and watch it later. These days, my husband can set the football game to record on our DVR from his touchscreen pocket telephone; we don’t have to be in the house or even in the country at the time. And speaking of phones, when I was a kid, video phones were science fiction right out of the Jetsons or Star Trek – and now it stuns me to realize that my children will never remember a world where video phone calls weren’t a thing.

 And we just take it all for granted. We don’t think twice about the once unimaginable wonders around us. Machines that wash our dishes and dry our clothes. Groceries delivered right to your door. Flying machines and even a car that could travel hundreds of miles in a day were once inconceivable.

 I don’t think I could ever get used to those wonders, we say… and then we turn around and ask, what’s next?

 And nowhere do we see it more than every year at Christmastime. And I’m not even talking about the kids who count down the days until Christmas morning only to be bored with their new toys after five minutes and forget them entirely after five days… no, I’m not just talking about stuff. I’m talking about the story of Christmas itself.

 We hear the story every year; we know it so well that we take it for granted:

 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken… and everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David… He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn child, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

 We know the story: a Caesar, and a census; a little town, a man, a woman, and a baby in a manger. We wait for weeks every year to hear the story again; to sing the carols, to light the candles, to bask in the glow – and then we walk away, asking, “What’s next?”

 We know the story; we know it so well, maybe too well – so much so that we can shrug our shoulders, and say, “I’ve been there, and seen that; I wonder what’s on TV?”

 We can become numb to even the most amazing wonders – and this story is one. This is no ordinary story. This is the story of God entering into the world. This is the story of a God who so loved the world that God just could not stay away. This is the story of God entering into the world – not with fireworks and fanfare, but so quietly that, if you blink, you might miss it. This is the story of a God who surprises us, the story of a God who shows up in the lives of people who are being buffeted and shaped by kingdoms and powers out of their control.

 While everyone is looking at Caesar, God is looking to the ordinary people. While everyone is bustling to arrive first, God is looking towards the latecomers, the ones who show up when there seems to be no more room.

 There is a lot on our to-do lists for the month to come: shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking, travelling, taking pictures, sending cards, making calls… But my hope and my prayer is that we will take some time to enjoy the view, to remember what it is that brought us here in the first place. The story of Christmas isn’t about the presents or the decorations: it’s about a God who surprises us, who shows up in the times and the places we least expect it. Where is it, that God would surprise us today? Where are the mangers, where children have no bed? Who are our neighbors, whose lives are thrown into disarray by governments and laws beyond their control? Who are the strangers, looking for shelter, looking for a friendly face? Who are the people outside, longing for a place to belong?

 Do we see them? Do we look? And do we believe that Christ is still being born, that God is still showing up, in humble and surprising ways today? We tend to associate this story with Christmas Eve candlelight services, but the story of Christmas is about as far away from stained glass and organ music and new clothes by candlelight as you can get. The story of Christmas is about a God who shows up in real life, in the messy and difficult stuff of our every day.

 I want to encourage us to make a different kind of to-do list this year. And put on your list things like: smile at your cashier; over-tip your server on purpose, even if they’re having a bad day; donate to the giving tree; give non-traditional presents;

volunteer in the community; bake a pie for your neighbor; buy coffee for the person behind you in line; make it a point to compliment someone every day; donate pet food or old towels or blankets to the animal shelter; offer to babysit for some exhausted parents; visit a nursing home; donate new socks and underwear to those in need; volunteer to serve meals to those who are hungry; bring new coloring books and crayons to the children’s hospital; shovel your neighbor’s walk, or if you hire somebody to plow you out, ask them to do the rest of the street while they’re there; write another letter or make another call telling our leaders to stop separating families and get kids out of detention camps this Christmas; ask a family with a loved one in the service how you can help make their season brighter; pay for someone else’s groceries; invite your neighbor to share a meal with you – do whatever you can each day to find a way to show God’s love and bring hope into the world.

 The good news is, just like the waterfalls which never stop, which keep flowing and flowing, noticed or unnoticed, appreciated or not, night and day, season after season, year after year – God’s love keeps flowing and flowing, and God keeps showing up; hope keeps being born into the world. The good news of Christmas isn’t just about a story that happened long ago; it’s the good news that God is still being born into the world in unexpected and surprising ways.

 My hope and my prayer is that we won’t grow numb, that we won’t grow weary, that we won’t look away. May we have eyes to see Christ in the world this holiday season, and may we have hearts that never tire of seeking God’s presence and sharing God’s love.

  O God, let your love roll over us like thundering waters; let your justice pour out around us, and your grace flow through us. Teach our hearts to be still this holiday season, to bask in your presence, to gaze on your grace. And help us to remember that being present is so much more important than buying presents;

help us to follow your lead, and to show up in the most humble and unexpected places. May we show your love to struggling families, to immigrants and refugees, to neighbors and strangers, to the hungry and the homeless – to all those looking for a place to find rest. In your peace, by your peace, for your peace we pray; amen.

[nicholerestrada]

Google will oppose subpoena for user data in Shitty Media Men lawsuit

Google says it will oppose a subpoena for identifying information.

Image: Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Finally, something good.

Google says it doesn’t plan to comply with a proposed subpoena that would ask the tech giant to hand over names, email addresses, and IP addresses of women who anonymously contributed to a Google Docs spreadsheet highlighting men in the media industry accused of sexual misconduct and other inappropriate professional behavior. 

The planned subpoena is outlined in a lawsuit filed this week by one of the accused on the Google doc, known as the Shitty Media Men list. Stephen Elliott filed the federal lawsuit against writer Moira Donegan, who came out as the document’s creator earlier this year. Elliott’s asking Google for the personal information of the list’s anonymous contributors ostensibly so he could sue them, too.

But Google is standing its ground. 

“We will oppose any attempt by Mr. Elliott to obtain information about this document from us,” a Google spokesperson told Mashable over email.

SEE ALSO: A whisper network is never enough, and it never will be

Mashable has reached out to Elliott’s attorneys for comment. Elliott has denied the allegations made against him in the Google doc.

Google’s objection was to be expected, because, under prior case law, Google cannot be compelled to reveal the identity of an anonymous poster unless and until Elliott can prove that the posts were libelous, said Paul Levy, an attorney with Public Citizen who has helped establish precedent for when a court can compel an internet provider to identify an anonymous user.

So if Elliott’s attorneys want to identify the list contributors, they’ll have to prove his case of libel before Google can be compelled to provide the information.

The Shitty Media Men list began to circulate amongst the media industry in September 2017 during the beginnings of the #MeToo movement. It began as a private document but quickly became public and went viral.

“In the beginning, I only wanted to create a place for women to share their stories of harassment and assault without being needlessly discredited or judged,” Donegan wrote in The Cut in January 2018. “The hope was to create an alternate avenue to report this kind of behavior and warn others without fear of retaliation.”

Two weeks before filing the suit seeking $1.5 million in damages, Elliott wrote an essay called How An Anonymous Online Accusation Derailed My Life, which reignited controversy around the list. Some critics have described the lawsuit as a publicity stunt.

Here’s what Elliott wants Google to hand over, according to his lawsuit: 

Plaintiff will know, through initial discovery, the names, email addresses, pseudonyms and/or “Internet handles” used by Jane Doe Defendants to create the List, enter information into the List, circulate the List, and otherwise publish information in the List or publicize the List. Through discovery, Plaintiff can obtain the email address information, Google account, Internet Protocol (“IP”) address assigned to the accounts used by the Jane Doe Defendants by the account holders’ Internet Service Provider (“ISP”), email accounts and/or Google accounts, on the date and time at which the Posts were published and/or information was entered into the List. Plaintiff intends to subpoena the shared Google spreadsheet metadata for the List, email accounts, Google accounts and ISPs in order to learn the identity of the account holders for the email addresses and IP addresses.

Despite Google’s recent security flaws, its stated policy is that it carefully scrutinizes all government and legal requests, and notifies users of such requests, unless a gag order prevents them from doing so. Google notes that it refused a 2006 government subpoena for user search queries, and in 2013 published a blog post outlining its priorities and processes. 

This is Google’s stated policy when it “receives a legal request for user data”:

Respect for the privacy and security of data you store with Google underpins our approach to producing data in response to legal requests. When we receive such a request, our team reviews the request to make sure it satisfies legal requirements and Google’s policies. Generally speaking, for us to produce any data, the request must be made in writing, signed by an authorized official of the requesting agency and issued under an appropriate law. If we believe a request is overly broad, we’ll seek to narrow it.

Google’s policy is typically to notify users when their information is sought in a lawsuit. And what could be tricky with this case is that Google wouldn’t necessarily be the one to first attempt to stop the subpoena — that burden relies on the people Elliott wants to identify. Then, the subpoena would only apply if one of the anonymous contributors loses their request to block his demand. 

But in this case, Google could possibly go further to protect its anonymous users.

“I’d like to know what oppose means,” Levy said, regarding Google’s statement. “Various intermediaries, or online hosts, go to various lengths to at least demand process for their users. And some actually are known for litigating subpoena issues, and even litigating on appeal. The approach from Google with which I’m most familiar is that they give notice, and they wait for somebody to move to quash. If an online company thinks that the person seeking discovery hasn’t done the right things to justify seeking subpoena, I would not be surprised to see them oppose implementation of the subpoena until that happens.”

It’s important to remember that it’s very early days in this case  — a judge could still throw out Elliott’s suit entirely. And all of this is likely to take … a long time.

But it’s certainly not nothing. Google’s statement provides a somewhat encouraging early win for those seeking to remain anonymous.

WATCH: Time’s up for gender-based violence

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/shitty-media-men-google-lawsuit-subpoena/

Source: https://hashtaghighways.com/2018/10/14/google-will-oppose-subpoena-for-user-data-in-shitty-media-men-lawsuit/

from Garko Media https://garkomedia1.wordpress.com/2018/10/14/google-will-oppose-subpoena-for-user-data-in-shitty-media-men-lawsuit/

[stealth-daddy-corvo-blog]

Suggestions on The way to Hire a Wedding Planner

It employed to become that wedding planners were regarded as a luxury for the wealthy and/or celebrities. Absolutely nothing might be further from the truth. When you are recently engaged, or perhaps one month from your wedding and need to have a little enable, here can be a sensible, intelligent and true guide to discovering that special somebody who can get you down the aisle for your other particular an individual with style. These are the quick, vital bullet points you will need NOW: 1) Speak with mates, vendors and look at blogs and web sites that you trust. Ask their recommendations. Schedule meetings with at the least three extremely vetted consultants/planners just after checking out their websites and seeing their perform. Come armed with concerns and use this as your guide. Most of all, comply with your gut and see who you click with. Those consultations needs to be by appointment only and naturally, gratis! 2) Initially query: do you like their style (of manners, humour, dress, organization)? Does he or she make you smile/feel calm? If so, that is a good sign you are going to be a terrific team. Try to remember, a wedding planner is part price range guru, portion organizational ninja, aspect shrink, aspect style consultant and part family therapist. He or she (and their group) will likely be your sanity, your laugh, your respite as well as your guide. Decide on wisely!

3) How long has he/she been in small business? How many weddings has he/she executed? If the answer is "I planned my own wedding and it was A lot fun" or, ditto, "I planned my daughter's wedding and it was so fulfilling!" then, run. These are named hobbyists and there are a huge selection of them masquerading as experienced pros. Taking a class in wedding arranging doesn't make a wedding planner, either. You'd like to create positive your planner has accomplished at the very least 50 weddings. A superb rule of thumb is also at the very least 3 years in enterprise. Do they've any lawsuits filed against them? Terrible sign. Do they get plenty of regional and national press? Wonderful sign. four) Do they have several different strategies to plan, which include full-service (best for most brides), weekend of and hourly? Are they reachable in the course of most company hours and some soon after hours? Do not abuse it and contact at three am in a panic, but expect that they may get back to you promptly any time you have burning challenges. Planners reside on their smartphones, so text and email also. They may be super organized! five) If they charge further for rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, that is a a red flag. Wonderful wedding planners will also look after that and brunch the day after. Your excellent planner may perhaps even give to pack you for the honeymoon and make certain a car or truck take you for the airport. Soup to nuts is why you spend a premium for excellence! Should you opt for a extra abbreviated planning knowledge, expect wonderful focus and excellence too. "Day of" is never ever actually "Day Of" - your planner need to start meeting with you some weeks prior and know your wedding just like the palm of his/her hand, double checking contracts, drawing up timelines, vendor lists and being on-site for the massive occasion, setup, breakdown along with other parties. 6) Speaking of money - cheaper is by no means better with wedding planners. A great wedding planner will pay for him or herself provided they have the relationships with all the most effective vendors - they invest in in volume and can get A great deal superior rates for you personally on cakes, site rentals, floral style, stationery, photographers, caterers. They know the most effective vendors inside the business and can provide you many alternatives for each facet of your wedding. Sadly, to a vendor, You're a one-trick pony (I know this seems harsh, but you only get married after, proper?), but that planner is their bread and butter and they will go out of their way to please a planner. What may well seem a bit steep is actually going to come out as a budget saver for you. Fantastic wedding planners will comply with your spending budget to the letter and retain you there. Awesome!

7) To that point, a wedding planner who requires kickbacks from vendors isn't ethical or for you. He/she is your advocate and charges you enough revenue. This also indicates he/she will make use of the same vendors over and more than, without having regard for the private style. Double-dipping to line their pockets? Run away. It is a valid query to ask. It's unethical and immoral. eight) Can your best candidates get you coveted appointments for the bridal style shows? Get you a last-minute tasting at that terrific caterer? Take you out to view a coveted band or DJ? Get by far the most elegant papery swiftly, with out drama? Build the favors of the dreams and deliver them for the hotel or on a plane for your destination? Go with you to fittings and enable you to with your registry? They should have the ability to do this! They must also encourage you invest real time along with your fiance and in some cases order you to acquire massages, visit dinner along with your beloved sans wedding talk and get your exercise and nutrition on track. 9) Does he/she immediately give you references, a program of action, an outline of his/her solutions that is definitely crisp, qualified and aesthetically pleasing? Will be the contracts uncomplicated to read and decipher? All great indicators. ten) Does she or he take additional than a single wedding or occasion per weekend? Ideally, you'd like to be the only a single. Also, in hunting at their on the web portfolio, do you see quite a few distinct styles of weddings? The wedding should be YOURS, not the planner's style. This is so very critical. It really is YOUR day - we're the hired enable! 11) Ultimately, never be a diva. Possessing a planner does not imply you'll be able to order her around or belittle him or her. That is just poor manners and taste. He or she is your companion and holds your big day in his or her capable hands. Should you have issues, air them with grace and class. A planner desires to please you, assure a superb and beautiful wedding practical experience and she typically has the answers you seek! Now go and discover your dream planner! 12) The proper planner need to make you feel like his/her only client. Without having a doubt. You could see that they're busy, but you should often really feel like top priority! Also, follow them on Facebook and Twitter to obtain some inventive concepts! Good planners adore social media and place great stuff on the market for you! A great wedding planner is usually a lifesaver. Do you definitely would like to stand there inside your gown and wonder in the event the cake arrived even though getting your false eyelashes applied and listening for your mother ask about the escort card table? A fantastic wedding planner will no doubt possess a enormous suitcase filled with just about anything to ward off dress tragedies, hangovers, broken nails and annoying relatives. They'll order umbrellas if a monsoon blows in. They can bring heaters if a cold snap comes. They're going to dry your tears and deliver a gift to your groom. They are going to make your attractive day just attractive. Find out far more information Top Wedding Planners in Chandigarh

[international-trauma-asses-blog1]

Tips on The way to Employ a Wedding Planner

It utilised to be that wedding planners were considered a luxury for the wealthy and/or celebrities. Nothing at all could be further in the truth. For those who are recently engaged, or perhaps 1 month from your wedding and have to have slightly help, right here is really a sensible, intelligent and actual guide to obtaining that particular somebody who can get you down the aisle to your other specific someone with style. These are the speedy, essential bullet points you need NOW: 1) Speak to buddies, vendors and appear at blogs and internet sites that you simply trust. Ask their suggestions. Schedule meetings with at least 3 highly vetted consultants/planners soon after checking out their internet sites and seeing their function. Come armed with questions and use this as your guide. The majority of all, adhere to your gut and see who you click with. These consultations must be by appointment only and naturally, gratis! two) Initially question: do you like their style (of manners, humour, dress, organization)? Does he or she make you smile/feel calm? If that's the case, that is a superb sign you will be a terrific group. Bear in mind, a wedding planner is aspect price range guru, portion organizational ninja, part shrink, element style consultant and component loved ones therapist. He or she (and their team) will be your sanity, your laugh, your respite and your guide. Pick out wisely!

three) How long has he/she been in enterprise? How lots of weddings has he/she executed? If the answer is "I planned my own wedding and it was A lot fun" or, ditto, "I planned my daughter's wedding and it was so fulfilling!" then, run. They are named hobbyists and you will discover numerous them masquerading as skilled pros. Taking a class in wedding preparing doesn't make a wedding planner, either. You'd like to produce confident your planner has carried out no less than 50 weddings. A fantastic rule of thumb can also be no less than three years in company. Do they've any lawsuits filed against them? Poor sign. Do they get a lot of regional and national press? Wonderful sign. four) Do they have a variety of approaches to program, such as full-service (finest for many brides), weekend of and hourly? Are they reachable for the duration of most enterprise hours and a few right after hours? Don't abuse it and call at three am inside a panic, but expect that they are going to get back to you promptly once you have burning concerns. Planners live on their smartphones, so text and email also. They're super organized! 5) If they charge added for rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, that is a a red flag. Good wedding planners will also care for that and brunch the day right after. Your excellent planner may even offer you to pack you for your honeymoon and be certain a auto take you to the airport. Soup to nuts is why you spend a premium for excellence! Should you go for a additional abbreviated arranging practical experience, expect excellent interest and excellence also. "Day of" is never definitely "Day Of" - your planner really should commence meeting with you a few weeks prior and know your wedding like the palm of his/her hand, double checking contracts, drawing up timelines, vendor lists and getting on-site for the huge occasion, setup, breakdown along with other parties. 6) Speaking of money - more affordable is never ever improved with wedding planners. A terrific wedding planner will pay for him or herself offered they've the relationships with each of the ideal vendors - they acquire in volume and will get A lot much better rates for you on cakes, website rentals, floral style, stationery, photographers, caterers. They know the most effective vendors within the enterprise and will provide you quite a few selections for each and every facet of one's wedding. Sadly, to a vendor, That you are a one-trick pony (I know this seems harsh, but you only get married as soon as, right?), but that planner is their bread and butter and they are going to go out of their technique to please a planner. What may well appear just a little steep is really going to come out as a price range saver for you. Good wedding planners will adhere to your spending budget for the letter and hold you there. Great!

7) To that point, a wedding planner who requires kickbacks from vendors is not ethical or for you. He/she is your advocate and charges you enough income. This also implies he/she will make use of the similar vendors over and over, without having regard for the private style. Double-dipping to line their pockets? Run away. It really is a valid question to ask. It is unethical and immoral. 8) Can your ideal candidates get you coveted appointments for the bridal style shows? Get you a last-minute tasting at that good caterer? Take you out to find out a coveted band or DJ? Get by far the most elegant papery speedily, with no drama? Make the favors of your dreams and provide them towards the hotel or on a plane for your destination? Go with you to fittings and assist you to with your registry? They have to have the ability to do that! They should also encourage you spend actual time together with your fiance and even order you to get massages, go to dinner with your beloved sans wedding speak and get your workout and nutrition on track. 9) Does he/she quickly provide you with references, a program of action, an outline of his/her solutions that may be crisp, expert and aesthetically pleasing? Will be the contracts straightforward to study and decipher? All excellent signs. 10) Does she or he take far more than one particular wedding or event per weekend? Ideally, you'd prefer to be the only one. Also, in hunting at their on-line portfolio, do you see quite a few distinctive styles of weddings? The wedding needs to be YOURS, not the planner's style. This really is so really critical. It really is YOUR day - we are the hired support! 11) Ultimately, do not be a diva. Obtaining a planner doesn't imply you may order her about or belittle him or her. That's just bad manners and taste. She or he is your companion and holds your large day in their capable hands. When you have issues, air them with grace and class. A planner desires to please you, ensure a amazing and beautiful wedding practical experience and she commonly has the answers you seek! Now go and locate your dream planner! 12) The appropriate planner should make you really feel like his/her only client. With out a doubt. You could see that they are busy, but you need to always really feel like major priority! Also, stick to them on Facebook and Twitter to acquire some creative ideas! Wonderful planners adore social media and place wonderful stuff around for you! An awesome wedding planner could be a lifesaver. Do you truly would like to stand there inside your gown and wonder if the cake arrived whilst getting your false eyelashes applied and listening to your mother ask about the escort card table? A terrific wedding planner will no doubt possess a massive suitcase filled with just about every little thing to ward off dress tragedies, hangovers, broken nails and annoying relatives. They will order umbrellas if a monsoon blows in. They could bring heaters if a cold snap comes. They may dry your tears and deliver a present for your groom. They'll make your gorgeous day just gorgeous. Learn far more information wedding photographers in Chandigarh

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Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[stormdoors78476]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won���t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[exfrenchdorsl4p0a1]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[pat78701]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[porchenclose10019]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[rtawngs20815]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[repwincoml4a0a5]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI