#some stuff is able to change in the future so i'm really curious where everything goes for them )
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hi !! just curious because i was looking at your adventure time episode guide and i love hearing other peoples adventure time takes !! how come you don't like finn's characterisation in together again?
I've talked about it before here and here!
But also I'm gonna say more and share some art I did in 2021 for a rewrite comic that I never got around to doing
So again to reiterate: Adventure Time is usually VERY good at making it feel like time passes, even when you're not watching. It's something about what they don't show that tells you everything you need to know.
Together Again did not do this.
It really really felt like they were avoiding showing Finn as an adult, as if they wanted to leave his post-show life ambiguous. Which, now that Fionna and Cake has shown us literally that, it makes Together Again feel even more wrong?? Like. imagine you have to pick a moment from your life that represents You™ the most. Together Again said that Finn, after living his whole life and dying as an old man, feels most represented by how he was at 17. I do not buy this. I am 25, and I cannot fathom identifying by my 17 year old self. I was a completely different person then, I was still cooking. I can imagine most people feel the same. And ok, so maybe Finn DOES for some reason feel stuck at 17? Explain to me why!! What needed to happen to him that made him feel that way?
And before you just say "it's because Jake died," there's still too much that was left out. How old was Finn when Jake died? What was Finn like, at that point? What else had they accomplished? What was he doing at the time that was on the forefront of his mind? Where/with who did they spend most of their time? Where were they living after the treehouse got destroyed?
It was like,,, it was like the story Together Again actually wanted to tell was about Finn's grief, and how poorly he copes, and how too much of his identity is tied to Having Jake, and how he struggles to move on. But that's not the story we got. I honestly think-- as interesting as it was-- everything with New Death and Tiffany and Lich just did a disservice to the focus, which was Finn trying to get over Jake.
I think Together Again should have gone like this:
Finn and Jake had always planned that whoever died first would wait in the dead world for the other to die so the two of them could reincarnate. Jake dies first. Jake would be able to "watch over" Finn as he lives the rest of his life, so Jake wouldn't miss Finn as much as vice versa, since he'd feel like he's still there with him. Eventually, Finn dies.
Finn's appearance would change with his emotional state. I thought it'd be interesting to show different phases of his life through the stages of grief.
There'd be a room where they could watch Finn's memories. Finn would walk Jake through the events of his life. We SEE exactly how Finn dealt with grief, with heartbreak, with love, with friends, with community. All the good and all the bad.
By the end of it, Finn is quiet. "Jake... when we reincarnate, will we.. lose all of this?" "Well, do you remember anything from any of your other past lives?" "No.. But that's the point. I don't want to forget you." Finn, despite their promise, despite Jake waiting for him all this time, declines reincarnating. He doesn't want to move on, because that would mean forgetting everything. He wants to say with Jake!! He JUST got Jake back!!
“What if— in the future— what if they forget about us? What if they don’t know about all the stuff we did?” We see Ooo in its current state. It’s changed, but it’s clearly been affected by the two of them. Every person they’ve saved, every civilization they helped build, every hero they’ve inspired. They’ve left their touch everywhere. “They’ll know,” Jake says with certainty. “We’ll know.” We see the future, with Shermy and Beth. We see the Finn Sword, and BMO with all their old belongings. Everything stays, but it still changes. Will happen, happening, happened. These have always been the themes of the show. They reincarnate, together.
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Hello, you said in some tags in a poll that Speed Racer (2008) is your favorite film. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to hear more about why you love it. I love the Wachowskis’ work (they’re among my favorite directors), but I kinda ended up bouncing off Speed Racer (2008). So, hearing that it had a real impact on someone makes me very curious why. I’m not interested in criticizing your opinion or arguing with you, I’d just really like to know why you love it in the hopes I might be able to enjoy that movie more in the future.
oh god this is from seven months ago, I'm so sorry - but I do love almost everything about Speed Racer (2008) and I still think about it nearly every day.
I love that it's so bright and colorful and absurd. I love that it's an anime in live action form. and I love that at its heart, it is a story about love.
it's about the mistakes people make out of love, and the consequences of that. it's about the way children grow to understand why the adults around them make the choices they do, and maybe choose to do the same things. it's about taking risks for the people you love, and the pain of failing to change the world, because everything is capitalism and everything hurts.
(and it's also about being transgender btw. like, that's one of the main things about it - it is very much a movie about being transgender)
what if your father's choices hurt your older brother, and your older brother's choices hurt you, and now it's you and your younger brother staring down a future where you're going to end up hurting him by making the same choice?
and then...what if you can escape that? what if the broken parts put themselves back together, and the hope doesn't run out, and you're not alone with the things that haunt you? what then?
and now you're at the end and mistakes were still made, people were still hurt, but everyone's grown and changed and they're different now. and they've figured out that maybe, just maybe, you can change the world by doing something you love, by creating art and beauty and making people feel things.
maybe you really can defeat capitalism by driving a car really fast. and even if everyone thinks you can't...don't you have to try anyway? shouldn't you fight with the skills you have, the only way you know how?
what if it works?
and I'm not even gonna get into most of the Racer X stuff (because I want people to go watch this movie, and most folks probably won't be spoiled for it), but his whole deal is just...everything. I love him.
(if there's a guy from Speed Racer that I want to put in a jar and shake every so often, or maybe wrap in a blanket so he can have a nice nap, it's Racer X. he's a great character. prime blorbo material)
anyway I've been rotating this movie in my head ever since I saw it for the first time, and I think I've seen it...seven? times now? and I still cry at the final race, and I still get blown away by the intro sequence.
(the beginning of the movie is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen - it does an amazing job of introducing you to the world and the story of the characters, and gets you emotionally invested in it right from the start. it's fantastic filmmaking)
also like. story stuff aside, from a technical standpoint, the movie is a masterpiece. it's the type of thing that people hated when it first came out, but when you look at it now and see how it was made, how it intentionally looks bizarre and cartoonish, plastic and surreal, you can see the exact vision the Wachowskis were going for, and it's brilliant.
the way they did the visual effects, the way they made the outdoor scenes feel so detailed, the way the driving and the tracks work - they put so much thought into that, and the behind-the-scenes vids show how cool their process was.
also uhhh cars go vroom, crash into each other, flip upside down, explode, maybe have bees and hammers in them sometimes?
(the above is me complimenting the unhinged vibe of the races themselves, which I love very much)
anyway I could make other full posts about the script of the film and how much I love it, or the cool side characters, or the fanfic potential of the amazing world of the film, or how I can prove that it's set in 1991...but I guess if anyone wants those rants, they'll just have to watch the film and then come talk to me. :)
(please. please come talk to me about Speed Racer.)
so, yeah! I kinda lost my mind there and made this post way longer than I intended, but I do feel strongly affected by this movie, and I hope this has helped explain why.
#asks#crescentwench#speed racer#speed racer (2008)#speed racer 2008#the wachowskis#my beloved#also it's important for anyone who hasn't seen the movie or cartoon to know#the main guy. his name is Speed Racer#first name Speed last name Racer#also the movie has vague found family vibes because Sparky and Trixie are here and are a part of this family#don't worry about it. they belong here#and so does chim-chim#he's their youngest child#and also a chimpanzee#sbs rambles#long post
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★
I like you / I hate you / I dislike you / I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me / You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in the hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask for your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else
send me a ★ and i’ll bold what applies to your muse / ACCEPTING ! @reybelion
#✱ ( ANSWERED ! ) . : TRUST ME PLEASE ; I'M NOT BEING A DICK.#reybelion#( thanks for sending this in!!#some stuff is able to change in the future so i'm really curious where everything goes for them )
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Hi! I just finished your role swap AU, where Yoohyun is the F-rank and Yoojin is the S-rank.
It was amazing, my gosh, the little 8th chapter that explained everything in more detail was so nice. It’s such an interesting idea, and I think you executed it really well! There were funny moments, silly moments, and gut punching moments all wrapped up in one! In particular I love how everyone is able to use sign language, and how it just shows their love for each other.
Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her! Also the way that the guild members didn’t know her, and Soyoung also didn’t know her was so sad! Because most of the others don’t really form close friendships outside of the group, it’s always fun to remember just how outgoing Yerim is and how many friends she makes!
Also, not to be ship-y on your interesting and well thought out AU, but I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?
Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem? And I love how you brought back his younger brother, he was such an interesting side note in canon so I’m glad he has a name now! and is alive!
WAHAAA THANK YOU VERY MUCH.... im glad you liked it!! also lol your mention of the sign language thing reminded me of a fun fact i didn't get to work into the fics, which is that while the F-ranks and Dodam high-rankers picked up some sign through exposure by being around the (fluent) Han brothers, they routinely get annoyed with Yoohyun. that's because he's developed a habit of turning away or signing answers where they can't see him--it's because he's used to Yoojin being able to "see" his movements through skin no matter what angle he's facing. lmao.
i did answer the rest of your questions but <- guy who has a terminal need to ramble on and on. answers are under the cut
ALSO i'm adding all the stuff i've talked about here, and any other rankswap stuff i talk about in the future, to the last AO3 chapter as well! they'll all go under the "answered questions/additional thoughts (WORK IN PROGRESS)" heading :3 you can check back to that for any further info!
ok time to get to the rest of it!!
Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her!
YEAH Yerim was really sad about redoing school... she had a hard time of it for a while but having her family back was definitely worth the trouble. the F-ranks actually discussed how far back to go for a while there, though we didn't see it. they all knew they had to go back far enough to undo Yoojin's death, but that wasn't so far, a day at most so they could call off the raid--but hey, while we're at it, why not reverse far enough back to resurrect Yerim's parents? that's a lot further back, but we can use that extra time to help with other stuff... and let's save Chief Song's brother and MHA's teammates, too! and so it turned into a much bigger regression than first anticipated, and the kids were so caught up in all the things they'd get back that they didn't realize the other stuff that came along with it :P
I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?
oh feel free to be shippy! i will put as a disclaimer that even my canon thoughts on SHJ have him being demisexual or generally aro/acespec, so i'm still somewhat handwavey on whether he and HYJ have a romantic thing going or if it's more of a QPP situation in any given storyline.
as for in this AU, specifically... well, pre-regression, SHJ was just another one of the hunters accompanying Yoohyun from HYJ's POV. not much more interest in him than that, though he did enjoy their back-and-forths, as did SHJ. (i thought i had a line in their post-reg reunion where Yerim thought it must be killing SHJ not to pick up on their usual banter, but I must have deleted it in the final draft...) SHJ, meanwhile, definitely had some sort of crush on him in that platonic/romantic gray area, but he sort of... never followed up on that? he was happy with their dynamic as is.
post-regression, their dynamic gets a little more intense. MHA has her raid team and STW has his security work at Dodam. that makes SHJ the adult with the most free time on his hands, and he also has one of the best memories for stuff pre-reg--as such, SHJ spends a lot of time with HYJ working out the pre-reg timeline and identifying useful information. they definitely get a lot friendlier over that time, and hey, even if i ditched the idea of making it a formal skill, maybe SHJ figures out how to act as a mana battery anyway, making him a significant asset for HYJ in battle and endearing him further to HYJ.
Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem?
ahahah... well, STW is definitely not repressed for the same reasons as in canon? but he is still. going through it. all that canon self-loathing didn't come from nowhere, and if i had to guess then the Monster aspect was added after the Awakenings, but the root of it was there even before that. so he doesn't think of himself as a monster and inhuman, no, but he's definitely very hard on himself. that flawless track record throughout school and university and work would have taken a lot of effort, which means he must hold himself to exacting standards of perfection, and then when his parents and his brother died, he took that really badly. pre-regression, he was stern and serious and quiet just as he is in canon, particularly touchy about the subject of risk-taking and particularly so when it regarded dungeons/monsters. but he softened and opened up with time as he grew closer to the other F-ranks, and he'll do so in earnest now that he has his family back :D
and yes!! little brother is back with a vengeance!! i like to think of Song Cheolmin as an upbeat balancing force to STW's more serious attitude. he's just about the only person who can coax STW into really breaking free of that seriousness, and has gotten him to aid and abet more than one childhood prank or chocolate thievery. if we get a canon name for him and i have to change all my fics/headcanons AGAIN i will be so so angry <3 love and light
#answered#anonymous#star.txt#rankswap au#my sranks#bak yerim#han yoohyun#sung hyunjae#han yoojin#song taewon#song cheolmin#sorry for going on at length. my bad#<- guy who will absolutely definitely do it again without remorse
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HELLOOOOO!!!
I'm freaking out this is my first post, like the first one shot I post and write about AIB and Chishiya.
I really hope you all like it, please please please tell me what you think about it and whatever you want to tell me.
It's long (4444 words), I know, but I hate small things because I get upset. It's very close to the story and it doesn't have lot's of changes, I wanted to try first to write about something I know. In the future I will write more original and new stuff. Also, I wanted to get used to the universe and to the characters first.
HAVE A NICE READ 💚
“THIS WAY TO THE GAME ARENA”
The sign flashes all around the city. I slowly walk towards the Toei Sendagaya block apartment, focused on the cube in my hands. Due to having no electricity, I’ve gotten used to pick random things from stores to entertain myself.
It’s still shocking to feel the city so silent and calm, and at the same time it feels terrifying. One would think that being that people die every day, the streets would be forgiving. You can’t even lower your guard now. Even since the first day, I’ve liked walking around the streets, checking out shops and random apartments. I kinda feel powerful, but it’s something that deep inside I know it’s just fake and limited. And I’m not giving up, but at least I’m going to enjoy now that I can, until ‘they’ decide that I’m not needed around anymore.
The tall complex shines between the bushes and buildings, its lights on every floor lighted on. I place myself a few meters hidden behind the stairs leading to the central lobby. From there, I sit and watch people climb the stairs. A couple of them look pretty scared and lost, showing signs of this being their first game. The rest all look shaken up but used to this. When it looks like no one else will come, I get up and get to the crowd around the phones.
There’s thirteen people waiting and all of them look at me while I pick the phone from the table. When the facial recognition is finished I can see that there’s only a few seconds left for the game to start. Almost didn’t make it. Would have been stupid to die because I was daydreaming.
‘Move aside’ I say to Chishiya, elbowing him after not having a response. He looks at me annoyed and slips off his earphones. He finally moves to let me place my back at the wall and get my hair in a bun.
“REGISTRATION HAS CLOSED. THERE ARE A TOTAL OF 14 PARTICIPANTS. THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”
It’s so easy to point out who the newcomers are and the ones that are sick of playing. You can also name who’s going to be willing to put themselves first and who’s going to scary run the whole game.
I start rolling the sleeves of my sweatshirt up when a boy with a cap starts talking to some guys. They look lost, but not new to this. Might be the first week here. I eye them from my spot, not saying a thing but listening to the whole exchange.
“Excuse me, do you know what this is?” He asks a black haired boy. Honestly, he looks a mess, like he has just gotten up from bed and hasn't changed in a few days. “I ended up here and I have no idea what’s going on”.
“It’s a game” He answers. At the same time, the blonde man next to him, probably his friend, tells him to stop it. I chuckle and cover it up with a cough, earning myself a glare from both Chishiya and Aguni. I might be prone to get in trouble with people and they won’t be happy if I screw a game up. Better be quiet.
The blonde guy whispers to his friend and I try to pick something up from the conversation. Not get close to the new ones and something else.
“DIFFICULTY: FIVE OF SPADES”
The card flashes on our phones, telling us the kind of game and the level of difficulty. I was so curious about the card when I got to my first game, I didn’t know what it meant and what I was supposed to do with it. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I admire the cleverness behind the rules and the method of the games. It’s the work of both a psycho and a genius.
A sporty girl starts to stretch just after the card shows, so she must know what it means. She’s calm and collected and I bet she’s willing to put all of us on the killing zone before she goes down. We could be friends, I think.
I hear a sigh next to me and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya rolling his eyes. He doesn’t exactly hate physical games, but they sometimes mean having to run or climb and he’s not a fan of working out. And, even though he won’t admit it, he doesn’t like having his white hoodie dirty. Not going to judge, I don’t love spades games either, but I will choose them over the hearts ones a million times.
I get down to tie my shoes tighter just in case. I would hate tripping like the clown I really am in front of all these people. Some guy in a hat starts explaining to the two friends from before what it means a spades game. Club games are hard if there are more newcomers than experienced people. I mean, if it's a game where team work means everything, you bet you prefer working with someone who knows the way around the games. Diamond ones are a bit weird: being clever will get you through them, but sometimes the answer is so straightforward that you get lost looking for the catch. Heart games are the worst. They will kill you even if you survive, and pray that you don’t get to play with a friend or someone you know.
“GAME: A GAME OF TAG.”
“RULE: RUN AWAY FROM THE TAGGER.”
“CLEAR CONDITION: DISCOVER THE SAFEZONE HIDDEN IN ONE OF THE BUILDING ROOMS WITHIN THE TIME LIMIT. YOU CLEAR THE GAME WHEN THIS OBJECTIVE IS FULFILLED.”
“TIME LIMIT: 20 MINUTES.”
“AFTER 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED, THE TIME BOMB HIDDEN IN THE BUILDING WILL EXPLODE.”
I turn around to face Chishiya, grinning like a mad girl. He doesn’t even flinch when he stops me from talking. “No, I’m not racing you to the top.”
“But…” I sigh and watch as everyone starts running to the stairs like lost puppies. “You are so mean”. I punch him in the shoulder and cross my arms, walking towards the lift. No need running seven floors up and wasting energy if I’m not even going to be able to brag about having won a race.
Chishiya follows closely behind, probably guessing I’m going to try and leave him there.
“TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE GAME STARTS.”
We get inside the lift and silently wait until we get to the seventh floor. It’s been a long time since I used one, not everyday you get to play in a building apartment. Feels nice, and like we’re back to normal.
Once we get to the top, we both choose a position that lets us have a good look at the whole complex. He goes to one wing while I leave for the other one. No point leaving a flank unseen. I take my cube out and restart it, keeping an eye on the people looking around scattered through the floors. I don’t get why someone would choose saying in the lower ground when a tagger is supposed to chase you through the whole building. Dude, that’s the most critical place to start.
“Hey, don’t get distracted with those games of yours.”
“Don’t be mean, Chishiya. You know I’m paying attention.” Anyway, once I finish the cube, I keep it in my pocket and rest my arms on the banister.
Aguni and his new friend get to the seventh floor and both of us wave towards him. Like always, he completely ignores us and keeps walking towards another high point.
“That’s nasty” Chishiya says and I nod along. Aguni is always so serious during games, it’s boring.
“I place my bet on those two guys and the sporty girl surviving”. I firmly say. They look like they will make it, but not without having a rough time.
He has the audacity to snort and laugh at me and I look at him surprised. “You’re joking. Everyone looks like they’re about to die, as usual. Just look at them, they don’t know shit about what to do”.
“Were you this calm in your first games? Don’t be mean, they are trying their best. No one wants to die.”
“But, where you that stupid?” He says while pointing to a couple of girls on the second floor who are touching their phones desperately. “I’m not saying you gotta be a genius from the start, but if you don’t collect yourself quickly, you are already dead.”
“Well, my majesty, not all of us are like you, and some people need a little more time, and a little more help.”
Chishiya looks at me and, as if I had imagined, a caring and sorry look crosses his eyes. He probably remembers the first time he saw me get through the games and how I completely lost it once. It wasn’t easy.
“THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”
He nudges my arm with his elbow and I look at him.
“THE TIME LIMIT IS 20 MINUTES.”
“Hey” He says with a soft voice.
“GAME START.”
“Don’t die this time.”
“Wasn't planning to.”
“THE TAGGER IS NOW ON THE MOVE.”
As if we all had planned it, the whole complex goes silent, trying to locate this said tagger. A trumpet goes off and everyone looks scared, ready to bolt to wherever they can.
The sound of the lift’s doors can be heard from our position, so the tagger is probably on the sixth or fifth floor.
Not a penny drop can be heard. Not a breath.
Some people start walking and try to open doors. The rest are all watching closely until something happens.
And it does.
Gunshots run through the dense air that surrounds us. I try to see where they come from and I finally catch sight of the tagger. Probably a man, judging for the height, with a horse head and a really mean gun. He’s on the sixth floor, just in front of the stairs.
I point at him and nudge Chishiya, but I already know that he has seen him.
There’s now thirteen of us.
And then shots are fired again and we can see the two friends and the one with the hat running down the stairs, away from the tagger.
“Told you, they are gonna get killed.” Chishiya says with a smirk.
“Oh shut up, this is not a TV show we are talking about. And I have faith in them”.
They split up on the third floor, the hat man keeps going down while the other two try to hide in the hallway. Not long after, on the ground floor that the tagger chases and shots the first one and finds another man freaking out. I don’t know if it’s better that he died because he went off the game zone instead of being shot by the tagger. Anyway, he’s also dead. And that makes three dead players.
Eleven participants left.
“See, they are smart. At least the cute one”. I say smiling.
Chishiya looks at me and raises an eyebrow, silently questioning just what I said.
“What? It’s not like I’m lying; he is cute, and smart.” I laugh and wink at him, cutting eye contact with him. If we are going to have an awkward moment, please don’t be while we are playing for our lives.
The killing spree of the tagger continues with the pretty and lost two girls. They sure are on their first game, because they look so freaking scared and unprepared. I mean, who would have come with heels and handbags. I scoff and shake my head watching how one of them falls dead and the other one wastes an incredible opportunity of getting away while the tagger reloads. Well, not all of us are strong enough to leave our friend and not panic at the same time. Shame she has to die, anyway.
So now we are nine players still alive.
Looks like everything’s gone silent again, until shouts break the silence and we all look for the source. It’s the cute guy and I laugh when I understand what he’s saying.
“Everyone! The tagger is currently at the second level of the central area! The tagger has bad vision because of his mask! Let’s inform each other of the tagger’s location and search for the safezone together!”
“Oh my god, did he seriously turn a spades game into a club’s one?” I laugh again and Chishiya scoffs under his hood. “I want to be best friends with him”.
“Don’t be stupid.” Chishiya says. We move a bit to see where they are going now that they are all running. “It’s a good idea, not going to lie, but no one will answer him.”
He mutters something else, but I don’t really catch it. I think I saw the tagger doubt his step when he heard the guy shouting, but he definitely looks annoyed when the sporty girl shouts back.
“The tagger is moving from the fourth level of the central area! Anyone nearby, run!”
I celebrate and raise my hands, clapping and laughing in Chishiya’s face. He looks surprised and tells me to shut it.
The girl runs from the tagger and finds an elderly woman in the hallway. With the tagger on their back, they are probably going to get killed. I grip the banister and hold my breath. She seems friendly and clever, I’m internally rooting for her.
Suddenly she jumps off the balcony and starts climbing the pipes up to the next floor. The other woman dies behind her, and the tagger tries to catch the girl but fails.
“She’s pretty good.” Chishiya mutters. “You just wish you could do that. It’s called envy”.
“As if you could do that too. You are just as weak as me.”
“Hey! Don’t throw me in the same casket!”
“EIGHT MINUTES UNTIL THE GAME ENDS.”
“THERE ARE CURRENTLY EIGHT SURVIVORS.”
Already? We should start moving.
I look at Chishiya under my hair and he frowns at something. I follow his gaze and see the tagger looking at the cap boy from an upside floor. What’s shocking it’s him starting to shoot from there. He has been killing just people he casually finds while walking around, not shooting from that distance.
The boy goes down, but looks unharmed. The two friends are on the same floor and get to him, running away from the door he was trying to open.
Not bothering to ask Chishiya if he got that, I start jumping on the place and keep my phone in my pockets. He slides off the hood and shoves me towards the stairs.
“Shall we, ma’am?”
“THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES REMAINING.”
From the corner of my eye I catch Aguni intercepting the boys and I make a face. It doesn’t always go well when he does that, he tends to let them die in order to have his way. The sporty girl stops to talk to them and she starts jumping from floor to floor.
“Do you think someone’s going to get it too?” I ask out loud. Chishiya shrugs and keeps on walking. I tsk and stay behind him when we get to the hallway. I turn around and watch my back, even though I heard a fight somewhere near. Probably Aguni, who are we kidding.
Just when we are arriving at the safezone apartment, the cute boy appears from the other side.
“Cute boy! I’m glad you realized it!” I happily say without thinking. I mouth a silent sorry when he looks at me a bit perplexed. Chishiya elbows me, hard, and I whine a bit. That’s mean.
He picks the doorknob first, but doesn’t open it. The three of us are watching closely, and honestly I’m a bit nervous about the time. I don’t like risking it as much as Chishiya.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” he asks.
The boy answers a couple of seconds after, lost in his thoughts “Why did the tagger chase us? He could have just waited here.”
He is onto something. Now, I’m not liking this at all.
“Seems like there’s something else we don’t know.” Chishiya says, keeping his calm exterior. He’s going to use this poor boy in case he has any doubt of a risk. “However,” he adds, taking his phone out “if you don’t open it…”
There are three minutes left.
Sweat starts running down my back, making me shiver and hold my breath while I watch the boy start turning the doorknob. All our phones beep announcing the time left until we all die with the bomb.
Slowly, he opens the door with caution. We all walk inside, in silence and with darkness surrounding us. It 's empty. No furniture, neither personal objects nor some leftovers of someone’s life. A few steps in we notice a door at the end of the room and we all walk towards it.
It’s not until we are too far inside that another tagger walks out behind the door.
“Look out!” the boy screams and pushes us out of the shot range.
Gunshots fly around the apartment and I duck behind the bathroom door. Chishiya uses the taser and the tagger goes down, but recovers quickly and starts shooting again. I scream when a bullet gazes at my arm. It fucking hurts, but at least the bullet didn’t got me completely.
I can hear the apartment door being shut and the other door at the end closing too. They must have gotten through them. I hope they aren’t harmed.
I wait, trying not to make any sound in case the tagger comes to finish me off. I search through the room, but nothing seems lethal enough to use like a weapon. I hate bringing weapons to games, I don’t really want to kill anyone if I can help it.
Gunshots are fired and I cover myself up, even though they are not directed towards me. Fighting blade weapons? I’m okay with that. Fighting people? Not against it. But, I have nothing towards a gun. I mean, it can take me from a long distance! No point.
“Everyone! The safezone is in apartment 406! It’s impossible to clear the game alone! We need two people to do this!”
Are you kidding? This is so mean. What if you were the only survivor? Not fair, not at all.
Well, it seems like I should get moving and try to do something useful in this game. I haven’t done shit, now that I think about it.
Slowly, I open the door just in time to see the tagger shoot the door and break the safelock. I take small steps following it, ready to throw myself to placate it. Just when the gun is going up I jump and kick the tagger in the knee, managing to bring it to the floor.
I hear a scream coming from the tagger and a lady cursing from behind the mask. She starts shooting and I scream trying to cover myself without being hit. The guy bolts and tries to help me get her off the gun, but she keeps fighting like a mad person.
We both go down before she gets us with the bullets and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya at the door, trying to help but having to cover himself because of the lost shots.
The phones all inform us of the ten seconds remaining at the same time that the sporty girl jumps through the glass of the balcony. The tagger kicks me and gets the gun pointing at my face and I panic just a bit before I push back. The other guy tries to help me, but with no help.
“Hey!” Chishiya shouts.
I’m on the floor fighting the tagger with the gun under my chin, trying to get it off my face, but I see him throwing the taser to the girl and she quickly gets the tagger down.
I let out a sigh before I heard the time almost coming to an end. My eyes search for him and we lock our gazes. I can feel the breath we are both holding and the silent words running through our minds. My fingers clench and I swallow, accepting death like a forgotten friend, saying goodbye with a blink.
But, just like that, with a blink, it all finishes. The buttons are pressed on the last second and we all hear the beeps from our phones.
“GAME CLEAR.”
“CONGRATULATIONS.”
In that same moment, the tagger gets the mask off and we can see an old lady crying looking at us. The collar in her neck starts beeping faster and faster and I scramble to get away from her. Chishiya grabs both my arms and I scream at the touch in the bullet gaze from before, but he doesn’t let go and gets me away at the same time that the collar explodes, killing the lady.
My whole back is covered in blood and I roughly grab Chishiya’s hoodie. I don’t want to look at her and see what we did, even though it was unintended. She was also playing, and she died because we won.
Chishiya and I are left in the room with the dead tagger, and he grips my hand and makes me let go of him. He starts checking the pockets of the lady and gets something out, but I don’t register exactly what.
I get out of the apartment to breathe. I hate this part where we really think about what went down here. Lots of people died, and we got a few days to live just to have to risk it again in the next game. Could have we saved someone? Not really, I know that. But it doesn’t make it easier anyway.
“I’m Arisu.” Someone says beside me. I turn and the cute boy is there, watching me from a distance. “I wanted to thank you, for risking yourself back there. We are alive thanks to all of you.” He sticks out his hand to me and waits.
I’m speechless. No one has thanked me like this in any game. I didn’t really do a thing, but he’s thanking me. I should be the one doing it, he cooperated with the other girl and they stopped the bomb. We could have died there.
I let out a small laugh and shake his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Arisu. And thanks to you, you did the dirty work inside the room.”
I look back inside and watch Chishiya stick the paper in his hoodie and walk towards us.
“I look forward to meeting you somewhere else, hopefully not dead in a game. Be careful and enjoy the warm water in the ocean now that we are all alone in the city.”
With a wink, I walk out of the apartment building with Chishiya not too far behind. I think he heard me talking to Arisu, but he doesn’t comment on it.
We walk, and we walk, and we walk. Neither of us likes to go back to the Beach in the cars, so we always take a stroll through the streets, enjoying the silence and the stars shining above us.
“Does it hurt?” he asks.
“Mmh?” I look at him questioning and he nods to my bleeding arm. “Oh, yes, like a bitch. But I’ll have to wait until we get there.”
He tsks and grabs my arm, leading us to a pharmacy around the corner. I don’t say anything, knowing he will shut me up and will only be a waste of time. We get inside and he starts looking for some disinfectant and bandages.
He knows his stuff. I was surprised at first to discover he knows his way around the medical grounds; and I’m glad he does. It doesn't hurt having someone nearby capable of dealing with nasty wounds.
He silently works and I watch him closely. He’s handsome. And he knows it, that’s why he smirks feeling my gaze on his face. I trace his features taking my time. His eyes are the most scary thing I’ve ever met. They hold so much knowledge and feelings. I always feel like he could take me apart just with his eyes. He mostly covers his emotions, so even though you search for micro expressions, you will come empty handed almost always.
I bring my free hand up and run my fingers through his hair. I love it, it’s so smooth and soft. And the fact that he always wears white to match his hair makes me smile like an idiot.
Chishiya clears his throat and starts covering up the wound. My hand drops and rests in his arm, basking in the heat he’s making.
Once he’s done, he brings down my sleeves and looks me in the eye, silently checking if I’m okay. I nod and take his hand, quickly gripping and, just as fast, letting go. I can hear him sigh behind me, and he follows behind.
“You know, I’m glad I met you here, but I would have prefered meeting you in the real world.”
“Why?”
“Because I know I will be safer here with you, but I also know the probability of us having a happy ending is minimal while we are here.”
“You are not wrong.” A couple of minutes goes by until he adds: “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try and make the most of it while you are alive. It will hurt more, but at this point, who cares?”
I let out a breathy laugh and turn around to hug him. Hard. He stops and lets me hug him, finally giving in and hugging me back. I hide my face in his neck, breathing deep and closing my eyes. I can feel his pulse and his chin coming down on my head, his hand running through my back.
“You are an idiot.”
“And you are mean. Deal with it.”
I swear I can feel his lips kissing the top of my head, but it’s so fast I can’t be sure. He starts walking again and I run to catch him before I lose him.
We may have a complicated relationship, if you can call it that. We are there for each other, not sure of what to do, what to give, what to take. But we do not give up. I’m just glad I’m not alone, and thankful that I have someone looking out for me.
I smile all the way to the Beach.
#chishiya#chishiya shuntaro#chishiya x reader#aib#alice in borderland#fic#oneshot#reader insert#fanfic#arisu
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what makes you think the writers want deancas? not trying to be an asshole, i'm just genuinely curious as to why you think that. i know berens' episodes are pretty heavy with subtext so i can see why you'd say that he wants it, but i'm not so sure about the rest of the writers/dabb. it seems like meghan isn't a huge fan either, given her "they twisted it so fast" tweet :/ of course she's a very new writer (think she's only writing one ep this season?) but still
OKAY this is a great question, welcome to my dissertation.
I’m going to address the end of your question first. Meghan is actually DeanCas positive, she has been for quite a long time. She actually, a few years back, posted a picture of her reading a literal book about Destiel and captioned it “writing reading” or something like that.
This whole thing just comes out of a boiling over of tensions because of how nasty fandom twitter can be. Like I said here, I think this has just gotten blown out of proportion, they shouldn’t have posted all this randomly disparaging stuff, but also like...can you blame them? The fandom is a lot, we always have been, and they’re probably also under a gag order not to talk about the finale, and are annoyed that people keep asking.
So nah, Meg is not anti Destiel.
To the first part!! So let’s take a look at the show runners since Cas has been around.
Seasons 4 and 5: Kripke
Seasons 6 and 7: Gamble
Seasons 8-11ish: Carver
Seasons 11ish-15: Dabb
So starting with Kripke. Okay, yes, I will be the first to admit that we have some pretty incredible Destiel moments in these seasons, but it’s less directly written into the plot and much more from Misha and Jensen’s uhhhh ~chemistry~. The only times it was directly written into the script was when the episode was handled by someone like Edlund (“On The Head Of A Pin,” “The End,” “My Bloody Valentine”). And you have to remember, if in season 5, there are moments here and there where you’re like huh that’s suspiciously romantic dialogue, remember that Cas took Anna’s place. Anna was supposed to be endgame for Dean, but due to a myriad of issues and Misha’s general greatness, Anna was replaced with Cas.
Onto 6 and 7. Hmmm. Gamble. 6 and 7 are my two least favorite seasons and that’s no secret, and that’s not only due to the plain old weird shit in the overall storyline, but also that homegirl killed off Cas in s7 and then Bobby like four episodes later. (Also it ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way they couldn’t have Baby in that season lol). We still had some great DeanCas moments, but again, it wasn’t really written into the overall arc (until they had to change the end of season 7 because of tanking ratings and bring Misha back lol, anyone remember the fact that Dean kept Cas’ jacket and would randomly dream of him? Yeah.). But we still had those moments, those distinctly romantic moments, probably the best example in these two seasons is from Edlund again, specifically “The Man Who Would be King,” I wrote a little about that here.
We move onto Carver, who gave us, at this point, the most overt DeanCas season with season 8 (season gr8 is a better name imo), and this is the first time Dean and Cas’ relationship is directly written as an arc of the season. I mean, you have everything in Purgatory, Dean “seeing” Cas everywhere, the fact that he felt so guilty that Cas stayed in Purgatory that he manipulated his own memories to think that he was the one that failed Cas, because he couldn’t comprehend that Cas would want to leave him, and let’s not forget Dean snapping Cas out of Naomi’s hold on him in “Goodbye Stranger.” It was a very obvious shift, not enough to alert the general audience, but more than enough for most of us in fandom.
It’s also important to note that this is when Andrew stopped co writing with Loflin and started writing his own episodes (”Hunter Heroici” anyone?) I like Loflin fine, but Dabb was able to stretch his legs a little bit more once he stopped co-writing, and we also began to see some DeanCas themes in his solo episodes.
In any case, them and their issues being a big part of the seasons continued with Carver, and Berens entered the scene, his first episode (”Heaven Can’t Wait”) is one of my favorites, with human Cas and the fanfiction gap and Dean and Cas just generally being awkward and funny and sweet. This is Bobo’s FIRST episode, remember that. He comes right out of the gate with it.
Also in Season 9, this is when Dean takes the Mark of Cain, and the Cas/Colette mirror is born, so obviously, Dean and Cas are the fabric of the season once again. This is also the season where Metatron says Cas is “in love with humanity,” and then immediately refers to Dean as Humanity so uhhhh yeah.
Onto season 10, Dabb and Berens continue with their greatness (I could write pages on the DeanCas date in “The Things We Left Behind” alone). And then we have one of the best scenes in the entire show in “The Prisoner” where the Cas/Colette mirror continues and Dean, driven by grief and pain and rage and the Mark, still doesn’t kill Cas. He still can’t kill Cas.
Season 11 is important because it takes choice away from both Cas and Dean, and shows us, as the audience, how much losing each other takes out of them. We saw in season 10 how much losing Dean takes from Cas, but what about Cas losing Dean? Dean loses his choice with his connection to Amara this season, and loses even more when Lucifer reveals he’s been possessing Cas, and plays on Dean’s connection to Cas like a mockery. It’s also worth noting that, similarly to season 8, Dean breaks out of the connection with Amara when he’s worried about Cas, and that’s something that even SHE is surprised by.
But then season 12, the beginning to the Renaissance. This is when we get the writer’s that become important for what Dean and Cas are today, and, truly, why I believe they want canon Destiel as much as we do.
This is the first season with Dabb’s writers: Davy Perez, Meredith Glynn, Steve Yockey, and of course Bobo all come in with their incredible talents and gave us episode after episode of good content. “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” is probably my favorite, probably the best example of what I’m saying. An episode where Dean is called out by an enemy directly, told to “roll the dice” on Cas’ life. And Dean won’t, it’s not even really a hesitation. And this comes from a character that has known Dean for ten seconds. I also wrote more in depth about this episode here. There are also some.....distinctly domestic details we get this season, specifically in “The Future” (written by Berens and Glynn) with the mixtape. The most tropey of tropes mixtape. Yeah, I’ll just leave that one here.
And then season 12 ends with Cas’ death, but also with the parallel between Sam and Dean with Jess and Cas. Sam literally has to drag Dean away from Cas, just like Dean had to drag Sam out of his burning apartment in the pilot. The episode drives it home in every way that it can: Dean is the one left kneeling by Cas’ body, while Sam goes to find out what is upstairs. Dean is the one who stares at the sky, finally broken. This isn’t a random thing, this is Dean’s whole arc, it’s the entirety of the beginning of 13. Dean’s pain, his anguish, his anger.
Season 13 starts with them burning Cas, with Dean, who has begged God to bring him back, who has split his knuckles punching a door, standing, staring at Cas’ pyre with brokenness on his face.
I mean.....
Anyway, season 13 is where it gets interesting (well, I think all of this is interesting but I’m a writer nerd so). So Cas comes back from the Empty in “Advanced Thanatology” written by Steve Yockey, and then a wombo combo of “Tombstone” by Davy Perez next (”Brokebacknatural” as the PR said at the time). Listen. This is the part that SPN crossed a line that they couldn’t come back from. With Cas being Dean’s “big win,” the fact that Dean and Cas watch movies together, “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.” Talked about it here.
This is where, in my opinion, the network stepped in, but the damage was already done. They had already established that Cas was Dean’s big win, that Dean’s poor coping was not due to Mary’s disappearance, but solely due to Cas, and that Dean and Cas have more married energy than anyone else. The network had nixed blatant canon at this point, and they writing room had been pushing the boundaries of what the network would allow.
After these episodes, we see a marked drop off of DeanCas heavy scenes. They’re still there, still a part of the fabric of the season, but not as...obvious as it had been in early season 13.
And this continued through season 14, we’re back to scraps of Destiel scenes here and there, but to me it always felt like there was something bubbling under the surface, something distinctly unsaid in the themes of the season, even after the walk back of obvious “Dean and Cas are in love” scenes.
And then we get to season 15, which, y’all know I talk about all the time. What’s important here is that Bobo and Glynn are both executive producers, calling more of the shots than ever before. Additionally, it’s important to note that, though they only co write occasionally, Glynn and Berens refer to each other as “work husband” and “work wife.” Each episode has just turned up the volume, and, not for the first time, but certainly the most obvious, Dean and Cas ARE the season. Sure, they’re trying to beat God, they’re trying to finally find peace, defeat the final big bad, but really? This season has been about Dean, and Dean’s relationship to Cas.
And not only do we have obvious and clear Destiel in nearly every episode, but we have episodes like “Last Call” which canonize bi!Dean (wrote about that here).
And, maybe most importantly so far, we have “The Rupture,” the breakup, and “The Trap,” Dean’s confession (both written by Berens). And here’s the thing. These episodes feel connected, but also feel like they’re missing something. Beren’s last episode is 15x18, “The Truth.” We’ve all spec’ed about what could happen in this episode, and I think *I* know what it’s leading to. But for it to be leading to that, it means that the network has to have approved what we’ve all been waiting for years for.
Who got this change to happen? Who got the network to change their minds? It wasn’t us. It was them. I am fully convinced that Dabb and Berens quite literally put their careers on the line for Dean and Cas. They believe in them, they’ve shown that from the beginning, but the only thing standing in the way was the network, never allowing them to take the final step.
So, to answer your question: I think the writers want canon DeanCas because they’ve already shown us that they do. Take a look at their episodes, at Dabb’s, at Beren’s, at Glynn’s, at Perez’s, at Yockey’s. They’ve been telling us what’s going on with Dean and Cas for years.
Sure, I’m not in their heads, I guess I don’t know for *sure* that this has been their thought process, but if we put it all together, from the marked shift when Dabb fully took over in s12, to the change right after “Tombstone,” to the new shift, the blatantly romantic shift in season 15, what else is there?
I’ve said for a long time that we, the SPN fandom, are beyond lucky to have the writer’s that we do. They’re all going to go on to have prolific careers and we were lucky to get them at the end of our little show. I give them a lot of credit for what we have in the show today.
Just remember, they’ve been telling us in all of s15 who Chuck is. He says he’s the writer, right? But a writer who doesn’t have control of his characters? A writer who wants to do the same ending over and over because it “works”? That doesn’t sound like a writer, it sounds like a network exec.
They’ve been showing us what they want for years, and the way s15 is going? I think they may have convinced the network to let us have it.
#supernatural#destiel#spn#my writing#anyway yeah i love these writers#welcome to my essay lmao#spn writers#anonymous#lilly answers
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That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1
Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.
This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314
My quote is "That kind of love never dies"
Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)
This chapter words: ~5k
Series warning:
Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5561d304f3f92f55575d132e9d3124fa/15ded80879a3d7ec-f9/s540x810/d72a0450bd9df6fcc3d1014c2962ed490e0d2239.jpg)
It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.
Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.
"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."
When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.
"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."
Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.
"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."
Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.
"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.
"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"
That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.
Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.
"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.
"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.
Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.
"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"
"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."
Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.
"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.
"She wants more."
"More?"
"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.
"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.
"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.
"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"
"Sam …"
"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.
"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"
Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.
"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"
"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.
"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.
"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"
"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.
"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."
"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare
"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"
Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.
They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.
"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!
"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.
"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.
"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.
"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.
"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!
"We used to date." Y/n said.
*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.
"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."
"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.
Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.
"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.
"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."
After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.
So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.
"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.
"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."
She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.
"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"
Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.
Y/n gave her a smile.
"Of course."
It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.
Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.
"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.
"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.
"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."
*What?*
No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"
She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.
He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.
"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."
Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.
"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.
"I don't want to answer that question."
*shit*
"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.
"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."
*well, fuck*
"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"
"WHAT?!"
*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.
"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.
"How you can even …"
"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"
Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.
"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"
"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"
Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.
"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"
"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.
"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.
"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."
"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."
Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.
"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"
Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.
"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.
*Oh, No!*
Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.
"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.
"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.
"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.
"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.
"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …
"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.
"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.
"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"
As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.
"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"
"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.
If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*
"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.
"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!
To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!
"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.
Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.
"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.
Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!
Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.
"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.
"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.
"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."
"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.
"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.
"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"
"But ..."
As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:
"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"
"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!
"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.
"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."
He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.
"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"
"Get the car, Sammy."
It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.
"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.
"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.
"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."
He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*
"You were always such a father material. You know?"
Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.
"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."
Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."
All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.
"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."
"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."
Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.
"Mr. Winchester?"
Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.
"It's me."
Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …
"To be continued …"
READ CHAPTER 2 HERE
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The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.
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#dean x reader#dean winchester x reader#dean x ofc#dean x you#dean winchester#allyswritingevent#Acklesterritory#dean winchester x ofc#dean x y/n#dean winchester x you
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Hiii! I just stumbled across your blog and I really like your blog it's incredibly cute and clean <3
And may I request a relationship dynamic between me and my fs please thankyou so muchhh have a nice day/night 💓
disclaimer: this is a prediction and it's based on the current energy, so it might not necessarily become 'true' exactly the way I predict it. Please take everything with a grain of salt. Things can change.
a/n: hello my dear, thank you very much for the compliment! For your request - I’m sorry I don’t do relationship dynamic readings (yet). I always have to plan out my readings beforehand and I haven’t decided yet what would be the best way to predict relationship dynamics. I hope it’s ok if I choose to do another kind of fs reading? Maybe the closest to your question would probably be the ‘How will your future spouse see you as a person?’ reading…
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?
Even though it isn't what you wanted, I hope you'll still enjoy this and it somehow gives you some insight. Feel free to give me some feedback. Thanks for reading, I wish you a nice day!!
(By the way, I'm curious to know if you have any of those placements : aries/sagittarius, scorpio, air signs in general, maybe taurus/virgo?)
Just for your information, I usually refer to future spouses as they/them. In addition, for this type of reading I try to use as many descriptive words as possible! Disclaimer: This might be your energy in the future, as this is what they see when they already know you long enough.
I usually only ask for one spirit card but I got freaking three lmao…. Ok so, I got the oyster, scorpio and the eagle spirit for how they see you as a person overall. They all belong to different elements. First of all, the oyster spirit is a water creature. They might see you as someone who has a strong emotional world and that you're able to express yourself and your feelings. To them you might be someone who is interested in love or relationship matters or in stuff related to beauty and art. You might be a romantic and creative individual. Furthermore, they see the patience, focus and determination you have. You might seem like someone who when they put their mind on something, they achieve those with grace and charm. You seem like someone who is good at keeping secrets. But you might also often take your inner gifts for granted, becoming shy or doubtful sometimes and this can lead to withdrawing for protection. To them you seem like a blessing. Someone who is very precious.
The scorpio spirit - as a fire creature - is someone passionate, competitive and determined (again you might have strong determination). You might even be someone who triggers change in others. They notice that your career and your few selected friends are very important to you. They also pick up on your tendency to isolate yourself. You might often think or reminisce about past memories and unresolved issues from the past, moments where you were left feeling ‘burned’. They would advise you that it’s time to come clean about your feelings so that everyone can heal and you can get back to your usual fiery but fun self. To them you seem like a free-spirited, a bit wild and fierce person. When you're out of balance you might be jealous, resentful or controlling. Honesty and forgiveness are things that might help you resolve your inner ‘issues’.
The eagle spirit (air element) is someone powerful, physically and spiritually strong, a truth seeker. Again, you might be very transformative or even trigger change/transformation in other people (maybe even for your future spouse). You might push them to be their best and brightest selves. You’re showing people that you’re stronger than what others think and you’re showing that other people are more capable than they think. You might be a supportive one. To your future spouse you’re shining bright and radiant. They have respect for you and admire those qualities in you.
They perceive you as a warrior in some way, you might act sometimes very firm and just, willing to share your knowledge and defending ‘the weak’. You might seem very brave and bold but that is also very charming to them. Again, your passion, ambition as well as your ability to be action oriented and not to be afraid to try new things is something they see in you. They might sometimes worry that you act too impulsively. When you’re stressed, are you feeling angry, restless and frustrated sometimes? If yes, then that’s also something your future spouse notices. They also like your rebellious side - using unconventional techniques to achieve what you want -, your intellect, confidence and your loyalty. They see that when you experience a crushing failure, betrayal or disaster that brings you to your knees, you try to stay mindful of not being rude or lashing your frustration out on someone or becoming a martyr because of it. You try to stay true to yourself. You don’t want to get down to that level.
You might be very clever, maybe even manipulative or have a trickster side to you (maybe when you are with your friends or family). But you’re not that good at playing pranks at least from their point of view - they can see right through you. If you don’t do it already, they might encourage you to use your abilities more and pursue knowledge, such as through higher education or through joining groups or communities - you might like feeling like you belong to a group. You also might seem religious or someone who values traditions. Do you feel peer pressure sometimes (like from your friend or your family)? They acknowledge that you’ve worked hard and went through difficult times - like setbacks or struggles - in your life. But you’re still someone who accomplishes their goals after everything. Your family might be very important to you but I feel like your family might also be very strict… Do you have strict family traditions or is in your family inheritance a topic?
Overall, they see you as someone with a wonderful energy (almost magical, I also wanna say cute but your future spouse wants to keep it respectful/serious lmao), very skilled and creative, supportive, original and resourceful. You’re someone who is in charge of your own reality.
Messages to you from them: ‘Be the dessert, not the entrée.’, ‘No man is worth losing your head over.’, ‘See all, hear all, love all, forget all.’, ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be alone?’, ‘Only go to the altar if you take the lead.’, ‘Marriage isn’t the only way to have a partner for life.’, ‘Things are working out beautifully! Now that your ship has come in, it’s time to decide what your next big project will be. You may choose to continue to build upon your success or move on to something entirely different. Be willing to travel if necessary.’
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Home is where our story begins
Summary:
Mobius and Loki will finally move in together, will the cohabitation be as natural as the rest of their story?
Notes:
Still not having the real name of Hunter B-15 and the story taking place post canon, I found it odd to keep calling it that. But I didn't want to invent a name for hher, so I chose HB, if Marvel were to give him a name later, I would change it here of course.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32628412
2871 words - Rating G
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b4273fc0bdbe233a4ccdbfdad85bce15/d4f7e232c982e20b-48/s540x810/0bd5e6d7e64211e556dbdf6c8332a568fd5e0cb3.jpg)
"So, soon the big day? I hope you're happy about it, even if it's new for you."
Mobius sipped his Josta, wondering what the best answer was. Yes seemed too restrictive, but it wasn't as if he wanted to go into details about his new living arrangements with Loki. Yes, he was happy to move in with Loki, of course, but...
"Mobius?"
"I'm... cautiously optimistic. You know me."
HB nodded. "For you, it's practically effusive." Chuckling, she took another pretzel. "I'm happy for you and Loki." Her smile faded briefly, "If our variant condition has taught me anything, it's to take happiness where it lies. I'm glad you decided to give your relationship with Loki a chance."
"There was nothing to decide because everything happens naturally between us," Mobius mumbled.
HB frowned. "Hm?"
Mobius cleared his throat. "It's nothing. I've talked too much."
"Talked too much?" HB laughed. "When it comes to explaining the logic of a mission strategy that sounds crazy, yes you could be accused of talking too much, but when it comes to your personal life... but I understand what you mean and to me who has been watching you a bit since the beginning of this relationship, it is clear that things are natural between you. Although I am curious about one thing."
"Which one?" Mobius prepared himself.
"How will you manage living together, as you both have your single habits, not to mention your lifestyles which were rather... different".
This question kept going round and round in Mobius' head. He was ready to compromise, but he wasn't going to change who he was either. With the personalities they both had, it might seem insurmountable from the outside, but Mobius had a deep conviction that it could work.
"I guess we'll see as we go along," he replied confidently.
"You know where to find me if you need to talk."
The friendship he had formed with HB, was one of the surprises that had come with Loki's arrival in his life.
Before they were just colleagues who worked well together and had the same dedication to the TVA and now having shared the same experience of losing everything, a real friendship was born.
"Thank you. But let's stop talking about me, how's it going with the new recruits and training?"
The TVA, purged of old influences, had returned to its primary function: to monitor realities across the multiverse and attempt to reduce temporal interference as much as possible. Mobius was the leader. Loki, Hunter B-15, now HB and other agents formed the core team.
They had completely restructured the organization, recruitment and training.
"Well, there are several young recruits who are promising, and I must say Mobius, that Loki is not only a very good teacher but also very well liked."Loki had volunteered on his own to handle the training of the newbies on the field.
Mobius, however, was not surprised at his success. As he had told LOki in the early days, he could be anyone he wanted.
Once HB left, the afternoon passed without surprise for Mobius, who was eager to get home. He found it hard to concentrate, looking forward to the changes that were coming.
**********
Loki was waiting in Mobius' living room when Mobius returned home.
"Mobius!" he exclaimed happily as he stood up and walked over to Mobius to kiss him. Mobius thought he wouldn't mind this kind of action if it became part of their routine in the future.
As is often the case when they haven't seen each other in a while, things heated up quickly between them and they were both panting when they parted.
"How was your day? HB told me she told you about my work? Is everything okay?"
That, too, was something nice -even if he found it annoying at first, this talkie-talkie thing, this incessant stream of words from Loki. He had realized that Loki's questions were always sincere, his lover expected answers and never asked them out of politeness.
"A lot of paperwork as you can imagine, I miss working in the field, fortunately once this is over I will be able to accompany you again and see the excellent work you provide with my eyes, if I believe what HB told me", Mobius said quietly while pushing aside a strand of Loki's hair that was falling on his forehead. "What about you? How was your lunch with Casey?"
Another unexpected relationship, for who knew Loki. He had formed a bond with Casey, an ordinary administrative employee. Loki had told Mobius that it was nice to have a friend whose reactions he didn't have to weigh, because Casey was spontaneous and naturally trusting.
"Fun. He's excited for us, well for me because I'm going to live with the great Mobius." Loki chuckled before continuing, "I expected the opposite, but you're his idol, I'm just the god of mischief who taught him what a fish was."
Mobius raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yes, I swear." Loki smiled. "He even offered to help us move our stuff in once the apartment was ready."
Mobius shook his head. "He's really supportive."
"Absolutely," Loki smiled, "He always surprises me with his candor."
Loki pulled Mobius to the couch and sat him down. Then he lay down in his favorite position, with his head on Mobius' lap. Mobius, as always, couldn't resist the impulse to put his hand on Loki's silky black hair and began to stroke it gently. In response, Loki made a sound that closely resembled a purr.
**********
Turning his head to Mobius, Loki asked, "Are you really happy that we live together?"
"Of course Loki," Mobius murmured as he ran his hands through Loki's hair, enjoying sliding the strands between his fingers. "I am, but you know it won't necessarily be easy right?"
"Hmm." Loki nodded and smiled sheepishly. "I know I'm not easy to deal with."
"Hey Sweetheart! That's not it at all." Mobius protested. "I just think we're from two different worlds and it's going to take a little adjustment and patience."
Loki nodded.
"Besides, we're going to be together a lot. Between work and home," Mobius said.
"Yeah." Loki looked up and smiled at Mobius. "This is going to be great!"
"We'll see," Mobius said, finally realizing that it wasn't he who was afraid of being disappointed, but that he was afraid of disappointing Loki.
After a few moments of silence, he decided to put his fears aside and enjoy the moment.
"Now, have you thought about what you want for dinner?"
"No." Loki pressed himself against Mobius, "But I know what I want for dessert."
"What a coincidence," Mobius muttered as he slipped his hand under Loki's shirt, "I think we both have the same idea.
These kinds of little moments between them, these little habits, made Mobius think that maybe he didn't need to be anxious about their future shared life.
**********
A few days later, Mobius was up to his neck in paperwork and couldn't take it anymore. He threw his pen away and leaned back on his chair.
"Mobius?"
"I'm here."
When Loki entered and saw the state Mobius was in, he locked the door behind him. He walked up behind Mobius, put his arms around his neck and kissed the top of his head. Mobius leaned back even more and closed his eyes.
"It's going to be hard to keep working if you make a habit of doing this," he whispered.
Loki's hands slid over Mobius' shoulders and he began a firm massage. "How about this?"
Mobius sighed, "It's not good for concentration either... " as Loki's skilled fingers had encountered a particularly knotted muscle.
"Oh, is that so?" Loki rhythmically pressed his thumbs into the back of Mobius' neck and it felt so good that Mobius moaned, "It doesn't seem to bother you that much."
"You and your distracting hands mustn't be around too often," Mobius said, "or I'll never be able to work properly, a massage like this, on the other hand, is... effective. I didn't know you knew how to give massages." Mobius was always happy to learn new things about Loki.
At Loki's silence, Mobius turned his head and was surprised by the sad expression on his face.
"Loki?"
"Um... this is something my mom used to do for me and my brother..."
"Oh Loki... I'm sorry." Mobius reached for the hand that had remained on his shoulder and squeezed it.
"I miss her..."
"I know, sweetheart, believe me, I know." replied Mobius gently.
After a moment of silence, Loki kissed Mobius' head again, "Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you. It's just so nice and strange to have you just a few steps away from me all the time."
"Why strange?" Mobius turned in his chair to look at him.
Loki shrugged, "I usually store all the things I want to tell you later in my memory, but now that we're in our new home, and we both work together a lot, I feel like I have access to you all the time and it's..."
"Different."
"Yeah. And tempting. And distracting." Loki licked his lips. "I want to see you all the time, not just talk to you, if you know what I mean..."
"Yes, I know exactly what you mean" Mobius cleared his throat, fighting the mental images that Loki's words evoked. "However, I think we're going to have to set some rules, no matter how nice it is, we're both still at work."
Loki nodded, "Yes, we really should, if only for my sanity." He bit his lower lip, and when Mobius saw him do it, he thought that it wasn't just for Loki's sanity that some rules had to be set.
"Maybe later, if you want Mobius? Or tomorrow?"
"Why tomorrow?" Mobius raised an eyebrow. "Why not now?"
Loki smiled "Because I'm excited now, and you're tired of paperwork and I think you need a good distraction."
Mobius rolled his eyes "You're insatiable."
Loki pretended to walk away, saying, "I can leave, I wouldn't want to distract you from your duty..."
Mobius grabbed him and pulled him against him. "You think you can light a flame and not blow it out?!"
"And what about rules and work?" asked Loki, raising an eyebrow.
"That can wait until tomorrow." replied Mobius, pulling Loki's head to his and silencing him in the most effective way he knew how.
**********
For some time, Mobius had been catching scrutinizing glances from the recruits, some even giggling after running into him.
"I feel like they're staring at me," Mobius said one night as he sat on the couch with Loki in their usual position.
"You can't blame them for being curious. After all, the God of mischief and the famous Agent Mobius, we're legends. And also... um... I may have been showing off a bit for a moment or two about your... prowess. Nothing graphic, just little details," he hastened to add when Mobius' mouth opened.
"Little details," Mobius repeated.
"Oh, but nothing, just that I'm satisfied, that's all."
Hiding his face in his hands, Mobius groaned, "Loki, tell me you didn't discuss our sex life in front of your students!".
"Uh... you want me to lie?"
"Loki!"
"Mobius, people think I'm not mature enough for you. That you're too serious and I'm not enough, that you have more integrity and I don't. Personally, I don't care what other people think. But I want people to know that you are as good to me as I am to you."
"And that requires you to tell them the intimate details of our sex lives..." Mobius mumbled.
"No, no, you don't understand," Loki said, clearly struggling to express himself. "I tell them little things that humanize us. That you like my cooking, that you like jet skiing, that I think you're sexy in the morning when you wake up, nothing too intimate..."
"Only in the morning when you wake up?!"
Count on Mobius to have kept only this part of Loki's answer.
"Even sexier than usual."
"Aaaah, that's the reason for these morning quickies," Mobius replied.
"You don't like it?"
"That's not the point, Loki."
"I know what the point is. The point is, I just want people to know the real you. Let them see you the way I see you."
"And for that, you have to tell them we screw every morning?"
"It was just one time, and it was Casey's fault. He said he didn't picture you as a sex beast."
"It gets better and better."
"Mobiuuuuus. I didn't say anything more than what I just told you, I promised! Now they know why we're perfect together."
"Because I give you satisfying orgasms when I'm barely awake."
"Because you're brilliant, and caring, and yes, incredibly sexy."
Lifting Mobius' hand to his lips, Loki kissed his fingertips and whispered, "And because I love you."
Just like that, Mobius' irritation disappeared. He took Loki's face in his hands and ran his thumb over his lower lip. "And I feel the same way. But Loki, I also wish you wouldn't talk too much about our intimacy, even with your closest friends."
Loki replied with his most mischievous smile, "You think I want to tell them how perfectly your lips fit my mmph."
Mobius had just closed Loki's mouth with a kiss and after that, Loki wasn't articulate enough to list Mobius' bedroom qualities and Mobius unapologetically left his book aside.
After all, it was important that he lived up to his reputation.
**********
"You're looking fine, Mobius. I guess everything is okay with you and Loki? I feel like the cohabitation is going great," HB said as she walked into his office.
Nodding his head, Mobius couldn't help but smirk, "Everything is going very smoothly, yes."
"Clearly." HB smiled. "You look... satisfied."
Mobius' eyes narrowed.
"However, given the bags under your eyes, may I recommend that you rest tonight?"
Mobius widened his smile. "I'm sure I'll rest... someday, even if it's not tonight. As I told you before, Loki can be... enthusiastic, and we're enjoying a bit of a second honeymoon right now."
Chuckling, HB shook his head. "And like I said, enjoy the moment. Even the enthusiasm of youth is wearing off."
"Indeed, it is." He paused before continuing, "Do you need anything?"
"Do I need a reason to visit a friend?" asks HB.
"No, of course not. I even enjoy our little early week dates. You know I like talking with you. After all, you and I have pretty much the same background. We've done well."
HB nodded, "Yes. You're right, but I admit I also stopped by because I need you to validate the latest new recruit evaluations."
Mobius chuckled, "I'll look at those afterwards, and send them to you when I'm done."
"Take your time, you can return them to me next week.
They chatted about various things, then HB got up to leave.
"I'm going to start reading these evaluations, unless my insatiable partner decides to show up...I'd hate to disappoint him you know...."
HB shook his head. "Lovely. And since I'll see you Monday to pick them up, You can give me all the details then. Don't let him tire you out too much!"
"That' s not up to me..." Mobius said, and smiling he pulled the first evaluation toward him. He raised his head and looked at the door, aware of a presence in the room.
Loki, standing in the doorway, was grinning from ear to ear.
"Aha! So it's not just me. You do it too!"
Mobius raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Reaching up to him, Loki touched Mobius' chest with his index finger.
"You also tell your friends intimate details about our relationship!"
"I certainly don't."
"Oh, I think you do. I just heard HB teasing you about my 'youthful enthusiasm' and telling you to rest because you look tired." Loki's eyes danced with joy.
"I-" Mobius sighed, "Okay, I guess I told her a couple of things about our life together - Hmph!"
Loki threw his arms around Mobius and kissed him deeply. Mobius, surprised at first, put his hand on his cheek, answered the kiss with the same passion, carding his fingers in Loki's hair. Once things calmed down, they parted, breathless.
"What was that for?" asked Mobius, tucking a strand of hair behind Loki's ear in a gesture so familiar now.
"You're talking about me to people, bragging about me." Loki's eyes glowed. "That means you're proud to be with me."
Mobius blinked. "Of course I am. How can you doubt it?"
Loki pressed another kiss to Mobius' mouth. "You can be quite a hard man to read sometimes."
"Not at all," Mobius whispered, as he gently patted Loki's butt. "I'm an open book."
"You are..." laughing, Loki rolled his eyes. "You're not at all." His expression softened as he looked Mobius in the eye. "But I think I can read you."
"You're the only one who can do it," Mobius acknowledged softly.
He wondered how long it would take Loki to see in his eyes the infinite love he had for him, and if he would be able to surprise him with the ring he had in his pocket.
________
Whole series of one shot here : Together, for all time, always
As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰
#lokius fic#lokius#loki series#loki#mobius m mobius#moki#wowki#loki x mobius#time husbands#timeforst#established relationship#moving in together
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Helloooo! Guess who’s back? The Dune notes! yaayyyyy!
ok, chill.
SPOILERS BOOK 2 : MUAD’DIB (Chapters 1-4)
Chapter 1:
I’m still struggling to get all the politic aspects and understand who’s on which side but that’s not what I’m focusing on right now. Once I’ve read the whole thing and had the whole picture, I’ll study all the details of this part of the story.
I loved this quote:
in the French translation, and thought it was beautiful to see Arrakis through Paul’s mind and eyes only to find out that the original quote said stuff like Cheddar-colored. Damn you, American people.
Chapter 2:
Bless you, Muad��Dib, your father and Princess Irulan. Might your words be heard loud and clear on every planet of every universe.
I love, love, love this chapter. This whole conversation between Hawat and the Fremen, the world building made through it and through the Fremen is really good. I don’t think the Fremen has a name because he’s exactly what he describing of his people. He’s only one to serve the whole clan.
Many interesting stuff about the conversation and the scene.
First, I wonder if the Mentat’s abilities can work on Fremens? This part seems to say that they can’t : "But still he did not know what this Fremen wanted and this rankled. Mentat training was supposed to give a man the power to see motives." Then here again : "He said worm. He was going to say something else. What? And what does he want of us?" It’s funny to see how Hawat’s powers seem to be limited after we saw part of what Jessica and Paul were able to do.
"You must make a water decision, friend."
is my favorite quote of the chapter. The whole chapter is built to make Hawat and the reader really understand how primordial the water is. Blood doesn’t exist in the Fremen’s mouth, life is all boiled down to water. They doesn’t seem to care about the Spice either. When he’s thinking in terms of currency, it’s not about the Spice or money, it’s still about water:
"You think we have the Byzantine corruption. You don’t know us. The Harkonnen have not water enough to buy the smallest child among us."
It’s one thing I find fascinating about sci-fi/fantasy writers who are creating whole new worlds in different universes. It’s not only about thinking about crazy new technologies or super powers or anything like this. It’s when they shift the whole logic because context is different and you see it in the smallest details, in ways of speaking, in turns of phrases. It’s where you find so much richness for a fandom. And get so easily immersed in the said new universe. Every time I'll get really thirsty in the future, I'll think about this chapter. And the water decision.
I’m guessing water is one of Dune’s real plot? Every stranger coming to Arrakis comes for the Spice, thinking it’s the goldmine of the planet, the way to conquer it and truly owns it. But it’s not and the Fremen are still the one owning the desert powers because they’re the only one seeing that Arrakis needs to be ruled by water and not by the Spice? I don’t know. But that’s where my guesses are heading at the moment.
About this,
I’m really curious about how they’re going to handle on screen the deep religious roots of a large part of the story. We all know how tricky it can be. Is it going to be tone down? Are we going to see people living in the desert worship a young white male? We’ll see.
Chapter 3:
It’s cute to see how, even if Paul sees himself as a some kind of monster or as something else and undefined, he’s still sensitive to what he sees with his powers of prescience. But it's difficult to get a grip on what he is exactly, and how he feels.
Ok-- wait a minute. Last time I’ve heard about Liet, it was supposed to be a local divinity and now… Liet is Kynes. Ok. If you say so. — does it mean there going to be some kind of competition between Liet and the Muad’Dib? About who has the biggest divine aura? About who’s supposed to lead?
Anyway, what Kynes says, it goes with what I mention earlier. About how all the different people who came on Arrakis have failed to make it a Paradise because they were all focused on the Spice instead of the water.
I love how convenient Paul and Jessica are as characters to introduce the descriptions of every room they step in. You can go wild on details and just be like that’s not me, the bene gesserit/mentat/whatever Paul is things are calling for all. the. details. I should do that. Only write characters who allow me to naturally waste 7 lines of words on the pattern of a wallpaper. Frank Herbert doesn’t do that, but I definitely would.
Again, it’ll be interesting to see how Tim is going to handle the Paul and Kynes’ confrontation/conversation. We’ve seen him touch on these kind of feelings and behavior with The King but Paul seems to require a lot more of everything. So I’m impatient to see.
And I’ve already leaked the quote but let's look at it once more time. Quickest way to prove Timmy is the right cast for Paul.
"In this moment he'd give his life for Paul, she thought. How do the Atreides accomplish this thing so quickly, so easily?"
Because that’s what Timmy does, right? Makes people ready to give their life for him.
Ok about Duncan… We’re back at it, right? He’s not dead until I’ve seen the body. And I didn’t see the body so, he’s not dead. I think? Paul’s abilities don’t seem to be 100% reliable (at least not yet) so even if he believes Duncan’s dead, he might not be. I certainly hope so. My boy Jason deserves more.
I still wonder how the power of prescience is working. Are the blind spots blind because Paul is living through them at the moment and can’t have knowledge of the immediate future OR would they have been blind even if he had looked in their direction long before?
I was also wondering if Paul was going to rely too much on the new dimension of his abilities and how long it was going to take until he realized he made that mistake. It was… quick but I guess it’s Paul, so it shouldn't be surprising.
And that fear litany ❤️ I could kill to write something as iconic and powerful. I could read it every day and still got the chills each time.
Chapter 4:
The Baron is like me, he needs to see bodies to believe in death. I’m delighted to have common ground with that creepy, disgusting asshole. Delighted. To be honest, I’m not that interested with the Baron himself. So far, he’s been nothing but clichés over clichés and really not the best ones. He’s the evil character so he's all the kinds of evil. Shocker. I usually like evil characters (very often more than I love "good" ones) but not him. Really not him. I hope it'll change but I’m afraid he’s too far gone and beyond redemption.
I’m very interested by what’s Hawat is going to become though. Will he turn his allegiance to the Baron? It kind of remind me of Teal’c in Stargate SG-1, but the other way around. The Baron opposes two things : Hawat’s loyalty and his admiration towards those who calculate without emotions. Based on what we know about Mentats and how the human part carried by the human body overpower the Mentat’s education and training, I’d say loyalty should win? And the part of me who is part Mentat agrees on the loyalty so, we’re all good. But it can be an interesting storyline, so I’m waiting for it.
What’s funny about this quote
is that he could very much be talking about Paul and still be right. Or the baby sister. Or Lady Jessica. All Harkonnens are waiting.
And what’s also funny is how The Baron thinks of Feyd-Rautha. In addition of being absolutely disgusting there are some similarities between what the Baron wants for Feyd and what Paul is meant to be/already is.
I wonder if Feyd is meant to become some kind of opposite alter-ego to Paul. A better, more subtle opposant than the Baron. Could be fun.
You know what? Every time I start this kind of post, I said to myself: I'm pretty sure I haven't that many notes this time, it should be quick. And then here we are again 🤷🏻♀️ See you next time! 🌖💛
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Dangerous Love (Pt. 11 of 13)
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Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader
Word count: 3K
Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?
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{Justice League - DC Masterlist}
×
Plans For The Future
You're seated on your knees, on the floor, before the coffee table where several sheets of paper are scattered around. The possibilities for your future. You left the League in the cave to discuss their business and came up here to do this. But it's been twenty minutes since you wrote down the last option, and you're still clueless.
“Any luck?” Barry is suddenly seated across from you, the wind he makes with he's speed messing with the papers. But he quickly gathers them again.
“No,” you mutter, feeling a little defeated. Seconds later the others are here too, and as if they were told to, they sit all around the coffee table, on the floor. Expect for Bruce, who sits on the couch, his legs near you.
“Isn't there anything you would like to do?”
“I can't really picture myself doing anything.” Running a hand through your hair, you sigh.
“You were so excited about it in the cave. What changed?" Diana asks, and you notice how everyone seems focused on you. In the last week, since they got back from Washington, the League seems very interested in you. There's a lot of effort to make you feel comfortable, and engage you in their conversations.
“Am I going crazy or are you guys like... Trying to make me get used to normal human interaction again?” Crossing your arms, you have your answer by the way they all exchange a glance and then stare at Bruce. “I knew it.”
“How did you find out?”
“Well, right now everyone is literally seated around the coffee table with me. Except for this weirdo here.” You elbow Bruce's leg, making Barry and Arthur giggle. “You're planning to take me out, aren't you?”
“You're very perceptive.” He says as he moves to seat on the floor with you, an arm around your shoulders. “I've been thinking about it for a while.”
“Do you think I can deal with the real world?” You ask him in a lower voice. You haven't been on the streets yet, and you're not sure how you'll feel among the people.
“Yes, I do.”
“You know people will think Bruce Wayne has a girlfriend, right? If we go out and you do things like hold my hand...” You bet it won't take half an hour for his name to be on the headlines again, and the news channels will talk about it. The world will know about your existence, and every girl who has her eyes on Bruce will know they lost their chance. “You'll have to keep a distance.”
“(Y/N), we're dating. I won't keep that a secret so yes, people will have to find out eventually.” He places a soft kiss on your nose before his lips connect to yours.
“Uhm... We're still here...” Barry mutters, reminding you of the public.
Weird how it only took half a second for you to forget you have company. “So... Now that I know why you guys are still around, help me find something to major in.”
“Let's see what you have here.” Diana starts, and everyone takes a piece of paper or two. “Doctor?”
“Nope. That was just a joke.” Bending over the table a little, you take the paper from her hand. “Moving on.”
“Nurse," Arthur says.
“Vet.” Clark reads.
“All jokes.” Wanting something isn't enough, you have to feel like you can do it. And you don't think you can.
“If you become a nurse you could patch him up.” Arthur gestures at Bruce who nods.
“Sweetheart if this is what you want you just need to say and I'll help you.”
“Me? A nurse? No way, it's too much for me. I need something easier.” You're not saying you're stupid, but why put effort into something on which you'll probably fail? No need to hurt your feelings.
“So you don't think you're smart enough?” Clark asks and you nod.
“If you weren't smart you wouldn't have survived this long as a criminal. And wouldn't have escaped the prison twice. Or fooled the Joker so many times.” Bruce says, and you tilt your head to the side a little, thinking. It did take some brain to do this stuff, calculations, memorization, and some random knowledge.
“It looks like this is what you want,” Arthur mumbles, elbows on the coffee table.
Nurses help people, and that's the exact opposite of what you did. You never really enjoyed hurting people though, at least not normal civilians.
“Yeah... I've been thinking about being a practitioner nurse.”
“You've been doing some research on the subject then.” Wonder Woman raises an eyebrow.
“Yes. They can diagnose diseases, initiate treatments, and prescribe medications. They're more independent.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean closer to Bruce. “But I don't know. Maybe we should keep looking into the other options.” Pretending you're not insecure is useless. Building a life is both exciting and terrifying.
“No. I guess we found what you want to do.” Bruce says and kisses your cheek. You bite back a smile, but it escapes anyway. “Anything as long as you're happy.”
“I can die in peace now,” Arthur says, and everyone turns their heads to look at him. He simply gestures at you and Bruce as if it would explain everything. “I lived enough to see Batman being soft with someone. The rest of my life will be dull.”
It took long enough for the funny comments to start. “Let the man be, Arthur. Everyone softens when they find love.” Diana adds.
“Aren't you a little too young to be dating Bruce actually?” Barry asks, shrugging his shoulders. “Just-just saying.”
“I haven't really thought about that,” you say.
“I have,” Bruce admits.
“Obviously. In this relationship you're the morals part.” You start gathering the sheets of paper, making a small pile. “I'm the impulse part.”
“Impulse part?”
“I did kiss you out of impulse. I was trying to control myself for quite a while but the thought of another suicide mission finally made me give in.” Looking at him, you smirk. “What would you do if I didn't kiss you before the mission? Were you planning to tell me about your feelings?”
“Shouldn't we discuss that in private?” He raises an eyebrow, and you give the guys a glance before looking back at Bruce.
“We don't mind. Go on.” Barry mutters, getting an annoyed stare from Diana.
“Let's give them some time." She says before getting up. The others soon follow, but Barry is the last.
“The fast one seems very curious about Batman's love life,” you say in a sassy tone when you're left alone.
“He turned the mission in Washington a nightmare the moment I mentioned you.” Bruce moves closer, caressing your cheek.
“And how was that?”
“I told them we had to make it as quick as possible because I had someone to go back to.” He places a soft kiss on your lips and you can't help but smile. You can't believe that someone was you. “Then he just wouldn't let it go. And yes, I was planning on telling you how I felt.”
“What would you do if the feeling wasn't mutual?” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you move to sit on his lap.
“I was pretty sure you felt something for me.”
“Really? I was trying so hard to hide it.”
“Miss Quinzel. Master Bruce. Dinner is served.” Alfred announces and you're just about to stand up when Bruce lifts you up with him.
“Because that will make Barry stop sassing at you,” you tell him, not even bothering to ask him to put you down. He can carry you all the way he wants. It feels funny though, and good to float like this. But the best part is how close your faces are, so you take the chance to kiss him as he takes you to the dining room.
Dinner goes on very well. The chattering is constant, and you manage to get into the conversations. You do feel like you're getting along with the League. Maybe you'll do well with other people too. If you can deal with the supers, you can deal with regular humans. It gives you hope, makes you a little more excited to go out. For dessert, you have brownies, one of your favorites, with vanilla ice cream.
“(Y/N), you said something about a suicide mission?” Barry asks after Diana gives you more details about the Washington mission. “What was that about?”
“Yeah... It was a terrorist attack in New Mexico. They mounted a base there but we never knew their plans.”
“They send you in a mission completely in the dark?” Diana furrows her eyebrows.
“We're the Suicide Squad. Well, that's what we call ourselves. The official name is Task Force X.” You move in the chair a little, but you notice you're not as uncomfortable as you were before talking about it. Bruce says you have to accept who you were in order to be free to restart. Trying to ignore it will only allow the past to haunt you. “When the soldiers can't deal with it but it's still not bad enough to call the heroes, they send us. The whole point is that it doesn't matter if we die in the process. The order is to finish the mission. We're... Spendable.”
“I never heard of anything like that,” Clark says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Nobody is supposed to know. But it doesn't matter anymore. The mission was a success and I'd be fine with it if the guards didn't beat me up on my way back here.” You say it without really noticing what it means, but by the way they exchange glances with each other, there are questions in their heads. “Some of them knew me from Belle Reve. So they knew I was going back somewhere they wouldn't be able to punish me for my crimes. They said it was a taste from home.”
“Everyone who was in that van was fired.” Bruce's voice is heavy with anger. “And I doubt they'll get any other job in Gotham.”
“If you're in prison to pay for your crimes, why did they beat you? Isn't the confinement the punishment?” Barry raises his eyebrows, and Arthur nods.
“Uhm... Yes. In any other prison, yes. But Belle Reve is different. It's like we're not on Earth anymore they... They can do pretty much anything they want. Every man and woman who acts as our guards are military or ex-military. Soldiers... And they have so much hate for us.” The memories come back in flashes of lightning, flooding your mind. The pain is still a vivid dream, the darkness is still terrorizing. “I can only speak for myself but I'm sure almost everyone who gets there tries to fight, to run away. I did. And maybe... Maybe I deserved it, maybe what they did was right.”
“(Y/N), don't you think for a second that you deserved what they did to you. Just because someone is a criminal doesn't give them the reason to treat you like an animal.” Bruce takes your hand over the table, and you smile to feel his fingers brushing against the soft skin of the back on your hand.
“They don't treat animals like they treat us.” The acknowledgment is dark and heavy, and you feel as the atmosphere gets tense. The League seems uncomfortable, perplexed.
“What the hell happens in that place?” Diana is the first to speak up after several seconds of deep silence.
“I can only tell what happened to me. By the rumors, it depends on who we are. Killercroc, for example, is left alone in a hole on the ground. Me... I always fought back.” Taking a deep breath, you revisit the endless days you spent in hell. The longest year of your life. The terror was usually suffocated by anger, burning rage, but it was always there, creeping through the walls. “I was kept in the dark. The only light source came from the small gap under the door. It had a blueish glow. My cell was open three times a day, at 10 a.m., 04 p.m., and 08 p.m. The two first were to feed me. They put a straw through my nose all the way down to my throat and fed me with some kind yogurt.” You cringe at the memory, a shiver rolling down your spine. “The last one was the shower. If you can call that a shower... They made me take my clothes off and back up into a concrete wall and blast me with water from a hose. If the weather was hot, the water was ice cold... If it was cold, the water was so hot that it burned my skin.” As you speak, Bruce moves his chair closer to you, putting an arm around your shoulders.
“You don't have to tell us anything if it makes you feel uncomfortable,” Clark says in a low voice.
“No, it's ok... It's good to say it. To... Let it out.” Holding it inside has only screwed you up over and over again. Dealing with it alone has isolated you. And you don't want to be alone anymore. “Before or after the shower was usually when the beat me. Men, women... They didn't really mind if they were a 6ft tall man kicking me. The drugs, the... Several different kids of drugs they gave me numbed the pain, but it was worse, at least to me.” The tears are rolling down now, as you're looking at the table, holding Bruce's hand as if he's your anchor. “I knew my body was being broken, sliced, bones being fractured but I only felt the impact. It's a psychological torture they play alongside the physical one. They liked to know that I was feeling my body being hurt, but I could never feel it... The drugs never wore off, so they never treated to my wounds. I was always left there, in my cell, as the blood dried, as the darkness threatened to suffocate me but I always told myself I was Havoc. I was freaking Havoc and I did not only deserve that, but I also could deal with it. That I was used to the pain...”
“Alright, that's enough.” Bruce raises his voice, and you notice you were yelling. He pulls you close and you hide your face in the crook of his neck.
“I speak for everyone here when I say we're very sorry for everything you've been through,” Diana says, and you feel a hand on your shoulder. When you look up, you see that not only her but all the others are standing around you and Bruce. “And I'm sorry I brought up such terrible memories.”
“Thank you.” Your voice sounds terribly weak, and Bruce dries off some of the tears with his thumb. When you get up, Diana holds both your hands on hers.
“I want you to know that you have me now. To talk, to ask for help, anything.” Your eyes quickly fly through the others when they nod.
“More than Bruce's friend, you're our friend now,” Arthur says.
“So now you not only have friends but superfriends.” Barry steps ahead and pulls you into a hug. You're surprised at the sudden affection, but it feels nice. The others join you soon, and you're in the middle of a group hug.
Not for a single moment in your life you thought you'd ever had anything like this. “Guys, you know you don't have to do this,” you mutter because you can't help but think you don't deserve it, that you're not the victim. Guess you still have a lot to work on, and Bruce is right to still give you some therapy sessions.
“Of course we do. You're an incredible woman who overcame so much. And you truly seem to want to leave the past behind.”
“Clark's right. You're the proof that villains aren't too far beyond repair.” Arthur says with a smile.
“Thanks again.” You're blushing a little because you think they see you as more than what you are now. But it's good to know they believe you.
An hour later, you're on Bruce's bedroom, getting ready to sleep. You're reading about Gotham's University as Bruce brushes his teeth, getting a little confused by how complicated it seems to be accepted there.
“Bruce, all these papers... I don't know if I have them.” You complain, suddenly losing hope.
“I'll deal with them, don't worry.” He comes to the bed, sitting beside you and resting his back against the pillowy headrest. “Worry about studying.”
“And about the fact I'll be surrounded by people all the time.” You sigh, putting the tablet on the nightstand. “It's still confusing, you know. Terrifying sometimes.” You're used to making people fear you, and when that's not possible, they just hate you. Hurt you. You're not sure how you'd manage to stay in between. To be normal.
“The classes only start next semester, so you'll have some months to get used to people.” Bruce pulls you to lie down, and you lay your head on his chest. “Tomorrow we're going out.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes. We'll walk around, buy you some new clothes, eat at a nice restaurant...” He caresses your hair, making it hard to keep your eyes open. “I'll be right there with you, so no need to get anxious.”
“Okay...” Noticing you're a little thirsty, you roll your eyes as you get up. “I need water. Do you want some?”
“No, thanks.”
“I'll be right back.” Crawling out of the bed, you make your way downstairs, straight to the kitchen. You hear low voices, so you walk slower, making sure you won't interrupt anything. When you get there, you see it's Diana and Barry, who's eating your ice cream. “Hey, guys,” you announce yourself.
“Hi, (Y/N),” Diana says as Barry waves with the spoon.
“You know this ice cream is mine, right?” Raising an eyebrow, you try to look mad. It apparently works because he gives an apologetic look and lowers the spoon.
“Sorry.” He mutters as you walk around the island, getting a spoon for yourself, sitting beside him and starting to eat too.
“Relax. It seems that I have to share now.” You keep the sarcastic tone, but Barry still doesn't seem to understand. “I'm joking. You can eat it, it's just ice cream.” You smile when he starts eating again. “Don't you want some, Diana?”
“No, thank you.” She raises the mug she's holding. “I usually just drink some tea before going to sleep.”
“Yeah. I just eat. I need a lot of calories.” Barry says with his mouth full of ice cream. “What about you?”
“Actually I just came to get some water. Bruce is waiting for me upstairs.” You forgot about the water, but now you feel thirsty again, so you get a glass and head to the fridge.
“You guys sleep together?” He asks.
“Barry.” Diana reprimands him, and that makes you giggle a little.
“We share the bed.” Shrugging your shoulders, you speak as you pour some cold water on the glass, closing the fridge and making your way back to where you were seated. “I have... Nightmares. They were more often before, but they still come. But when I'm with Bruce it's just... It's better.” You feel safe, secure, but you're too shy to tell them that. It's too much that you're telling about the nightmares, but it's a good sign that you're able to open up, even if it's just a little bit.
“You love Bruce, don't you?” Diana asks in a low voice.
Looking down at your half-full glass of water, you nod. Love isn't the word you use to express your feelings for Bruce, but that's just because you're way too scared to let those three words flow out. ‘I love you.’ You've been biting your tongue for quite a while now. Those words hold power, you know it, and you're scared that he doesn't feel the same way. “Don't tell him,” you beg, looking up at Diana.
“Why?” As she asks, Barry takes the ice cream and gets up, leaving the kitchen.
“Girl talk.” He mumbles on his way out. And yes, you feel a little more comfortable knowing it's just Diana.
“Because maybe it's too soon and... If he doesn't feel the same I'm afraid it'll push him away.” Your feelings for Bruce only grow, and even though being in love with someone is something new, you know how things should play out. Or you think you do. The fact that he's Batman and you're Havoc, a villain he tried to catch before, only makes everything worse.
“I know Bruce. He would never officialize a relationship if he wasn't one hundred and ten percent sure of his feelings.” She moves from her place at the table to seat across from you on the island. “And I understand that what you did before may get in the way but it only makes me even more sure about his feelings towards you. So yes, I think he loves you and there's no reason for you to be so scared.”
Taking a deep breath, you try to accept that. “How could he love me?” You inquire in a low voice because you can't help but go back, to remember who you were and what you did. You do regret it, and you do want different things now, to have a whole new life. But... Sometimes the fear of losing Bruce hits hard, and you start going back to your shell.
“Why don't you let me answer that?” His voice makes you jump, and you stand up abruptly. Your heart beats so fast that you can hear it on your ears, like drums.
“I'll get some sleep. Good night, (Y/N). Bruce.” Diana stands up and leaves the kitchen, as you stand there, looking at Bruce.
“You weren't supposed to hear any of that,” you mumble.
“But I'm glad I did. Let's head upstairs. We need to talk.” Nodding, you start following Bruce. “I need to make things clear with you, sweetheart.”
×
@fionanovasleftnut @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21 @agustdpeach @yaakimoon2 @chloe-skywalker
#bruce wayne#imagine bruce wayne#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne x reader#ben affleck batman#batman x reader#batman imagine#imagine batman#justice league imagine
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And how do we rewrite the stars?
- a Sugawara X Reader -
Summary: in a world where you can hear your soulmate sing, there are two types; one, where your soulmate is in the same world as yours. And two, where they don't belong in yours. Almost all your friends found their soulmate, will you ever find yours?
Warnings: Swearing, Suga is probably very ooc because the author wrote this at 2AM, Dumb author can’t write angst so bear with me please,
A/N: If only all mothers were like this 😔🖐. Also I’m sorry if this seems rushed and low-quality. My english vocabulary is getting worse and I wrote this in the middle of the night. Aaand I still have an event to finish (sorry lili)
Reblogs are appreciated!
Love is like that one song.
That one song which you really like but you can’t remember it.
That one damned song.
"Y/N! Y/N!" Chiyoko, one of your best friends ran up to you, eyes sparkling with excitement.
You chuckled, taking out your earbuds and rolling them up. "What's up?"
"You remember that music competition we participated in?" She asked, slightly panting from the running.
"Yeah, it's only been a week. Why?" You said, raising an eyebrow.
"The votes are in." She huffed. Your eyes widened, getting more curious by the second.
"And? And?!"
"We won, we're going to the quarterfinals!" Chiyoko exclaimed, jumping up and down from excitement.
“Alright!! LETS GOOOO” You yelled, fistbumping the air in victory. Some students turned around and looked at you, as if you’re crazy.
*TIMESKIP*
You were at your locker, trying to get all your books in your bag when someone came up to you. You groaned, realizing that it was one of your rivals from the music competition.
“Aww, look here, it’s the weirdo who doesn’t have a soulmate!” She laughed, voiced laced with sarcasm.
“What do you want.” You spat, looking her in the eyes.
“Oh, nothing much. Just checking if you have found your soulmate or not” She grinned, putting her hand on her waist.
“Honestly, I don’t. But I do have an idea who it might be, or at least who it sounds like” You sighed, turning back to your locker.
She grimaced, grabbing your arm and preventing you from getting your stuff. “Oh yeah? Well then, tell me.”
You sighed again. Completely done with her bullshit. “His voice sounds like Sugawara. Y’know, that silver-haired 3rd-Year from Haikyuu” You said grinning .
“Of course I know who he is! But don’t tell me you think HE is the one! There is no way anyone like that will like you!” She snarled. Slamming your hand to the locker.
“I never said so, and who cares? It’s not like it’s any of YOUR buisness anyway.” You shrugged, pulling your hand back and closing your locker, ready to leave. “Now if you don’t mind, I have to go home”
“Stop lying! There is no way you have a soulmate like that!” She yelled, turning her back to you and storming off.
You sighed in annoyance. What’s her problem? Is she that pissed about you winning against her?
You started walking home. It was dark outside, and the sky was clear. So you could see the stars shining bright above your head.
Stupid asshole. You thought, kicking at the dirt. Getting so nosy just because of a voice.
You furrowed your eyebrows. He probably just sounds like Suga, Haikyuu is just a ficitonal world right? Jeez Y/N, stop giving yourself false hope. Suga is just a ficitonal character and there is no way he is real periodt.
You sighed frustrated, grabbing your keys from your pockets and unlocking the door.
“Honey! Welcome home! How wa- Whoa! Why are you crying?” Your mother asked, her cheerful expression turning into a concerned one.
“Wait- I am?” That’s when you realised there were wet streams running down your cheeks, dripping onto the floor. You quickly wiped them away and started walking up the stairs. “Mom, I’m feeling tired right now. I’m gonna rest for a bit” Your mom hummed back, telling you that she agrees.
Walking up the stairs, you suddenly felt really tired and annoyed. So you walked in your room, threw your bag on the ground, plopped your earbuds in, and started listening to some music.
MEANWHILE...
Practice just finished, and I was on my way home. Kageyama and Hinata were getting along better, and Kageyama even asked me for some advice for studying.
“Hi Koushi, welcome back!” Mom’s voice rang through the hallway “You’re right on time! Dinner is ready”
I put my bag on the ground, walking to the kitchen and helping mom with the dishes.
After we sat down and started eating, mom asked me the question.
“Koushi?”
“Hm?”
“So... Have you heard anything from your soulmate?”
“Well, this morning they were humming to a song, but that’s it” I said after swallowing a piece of tofu.
“Alright then, make sure to tell me when something happens!”
“Sure”
*30 minutes later*
I was rehearsing some of the english sentences for the upcoming test, when I heard humming. I recognised the voice immeadiately. It was my supposed ‘soulmate’s voice!
There was something wrong with it. It sounded... hopeless? I’m not sure how to describe it. It kind of sounded as if they were on the verge of breaking down.
“Hold on a second. I know this song!” I thought to myself. I was sure that they needed help
Y/N’S POV
It was calming, just you and the music. Or at least, it would’ve been so if you weren’t fighting yourself about the events of a few hours ago.
It was silent. Until a voice suddely popped up in your head and started singing.
You know I want you,
It's not a secret I try to hide
A small smile appeared on your face, hearing the fammiliar voice of your soulmate.
I know you want me
So don't keep saying our hands are tied
You claim it's not in the cards
And fate is pulling you miles away
And out of reach from me
But you're here in my heart
So who can stop me if I decide
That you're my destiny?
...
What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine
Nothing could keep us apart
You'd be the one I was meant to find
It's up to you, and it's up to me
No one can say what we get to be
So why don't we rewrite the stars?
Maybe the world could be ours
Tonight...
You sighed. Knowing fully well that it has a small chance of happening. So, you answered.
You think it's easy..
You think I don't wanna run to you
But there are mountains
And there are doors that we can't walk through
I know you're wondering why because we're able to be
Just you and me within these walls
But when we go outside, you're gonna wake up and see
That it was hopeless after all...
No one can rewrite the stars
How can you say you'll be mine?
Everything keeps us apart
And I'm not the one you were meant to find
It's not up to you
It's not up to me
When everyone tells us what we can be
How can we rewrite the stars?
Say that the world can be ours
Tonight...
All I want is to fly with you
All I want is to fall with you
So just give me all of you
It feels impossible
It's not impossible
Is it impossible?
Say that it's possible
How do we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine?
Nothing can keep us apart
'Cause you are the one I was meant to find
It's up to you
And it's up to me
No one can say what we get to be
And why don't we rewrite the stars?
Changing the world to be ours
At this point, you’re silently crying. To finish the song, you softly whispered the last four lines
You know I want you
It's not a secret I try to hide
But I can't have you
We're bound to break and my hands are tied
“Thank you..” you whispered, smiling softly
Author: Note to future self; Never use Lunar’s writing style again, it doesn’t mix with yours
Also part two?
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE
fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out
tagging: steal it
MY MUSE IS. canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless
is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.
is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)
is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
are they underrated? YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus)
were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.
were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.
are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)
how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.
HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?
This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.
SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)
Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.
He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt.
Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.
NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)
He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.
While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.
His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?
Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.
WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?
I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.
SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.
do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.
do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.
do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. (i should do it more...)
do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.
are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)
are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)
are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.
DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?
I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless
DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?
yes? yes absolutely?
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?
Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.
IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?
......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?
Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?
Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.
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This might sound stupid. I feel insecure about my intelligence or how smart I am or if I am clever (I don't really know the difference). I find myself comparing myself with others that are in better classes than me get higher grades, participate more in class. Or just know an answer that I don't know. It is a vicious cycle: and i am aware I should focus on my own path rather than others. But it is difficult and I end up mimicking their personalities in the hopes that some of their intelligence will rub onto me. Like there was someone who was reading dystopian books so I started to and there was also someone who watched marvel movies so I did. I enjoyed it but my reasons for engaging in those activities didn't feel authentic. I also copy their mannerisms, like usually they are quite social and always talking about crazy concepts or they're telling funny jokes. Naturally I would say I am reserved but when around people like that I feel pressured to be the same so I bridge onto their thoughts and act loud and crazy but it feels forced. Something else that stems from it is just my experience with intelligence. I find it difficult to follow instructions sometimes and I end up making stupid, dumb mistakes that frustrates me when I realise I make them. I feel like people always know so much about a topic and I know nothing. I'll admit in my spare time I don't research things I just watch shows/movies and draw. But it doesn't feel nice being out of the loop. My memory sucks too. I just feel like my brain is not normal
Mainly I feel like what I want is tips on how to develop my intelligence.
But also what I should do to maintain a healthy personality because I feel like I don't have one.
I'm just asking because I try not to do these things I mentioned but I don't know what to do
I don't think this sounds stupid at all! I think this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially when it comes to comparing themselves with others.
I actually want to start by talking about something you said in the middle of this ask. You mentioned that you find it difficult to follow instructions, that you make "dumb" mistakes, and that your memory is bad. You also mentioned that you copy people's mannerisms and interests, and that overall, you feel like your brain is "not normal". This might be jumping the gun (and it's important to remember that I'm not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or medical doctor), but have you ever been evaluated for a neurodevelopmental disorder? Conditions like ADHD and Autism can present with symptoms that remind me of the experience you're describing, and so it may be worth speaking to a doctor to see if that's what's causing your difficulties. A lot of the time, people with neurodevelopmental disorders or learning disorders grow up thinking that they're unintelligent, when really their brains just work differently than other people's.
That kind of brings me to the next thing I want to talk about. How important is it to be smart or clever really? Having esoteric knowledge is rarely useful in any practical situation, and it's not inherently any more valuable than anything else. And on the flip side, I'm sure there are things that you're better at than your friends- maybe you're a better artist, or you're more creative, or you're kinder, or you're braver, or any other number of things. You don't have to be any particular kind of way just because other people are. In fact, that diversity in personality traits and strengths is what makes people so unique and interesting. I know it can feel like your grades in school are the most important thing, but in the real world there are so many other characteristics that matter. The most successful people in life aren't the ones who are the smartest; traits like grit and conscientiousness are much better predictors of future success than IQ is. It's important to me that know that you're good just as you are. You're enough by being yourself.
Okay, so getting to your actual questions now, because I know how frustrating it can be when you just want a list of actions to take and instead you get a lecture on changing your mindset. "Intelligence" is kind of a squishy concept that incorporates a lot of different elements, but I would focus on trying to develop intellectual curiosity. A simple exercise you can try is just Googling the answer any time you have a question about how the world works. Because it's a question you had, you're more likely to be interested in the answer and to remember the answer.
I would also try to find a form of learning that you enjoy. Maybe reading books is difficult for you, but listening to a podcast (I recommend Stuff You Should Know, Radiolab, and Freakonomics, and if you like Queer Eye, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness is also good), watching a YouTube video or TikTok (Contrapoints, VSauce, AsapSCIENCE, It’s Okay To Be Smart, TED-Ed, VOX), watching a docuseries (such as Explained or Connected: The Hidden Science of Everything) or documentary, or listening to an audiobook will be more engaging for you. The more information you interact with, the more you'll know, and the more you'll become interested in other things. You can also try to learn something new, like a new language (try Duolingo, Memrise, or busuu) or learning a new skill (Coursera is good for that kind of thing).
As for maintaining a healthy personality, I think it's really normal to feel like you're still figuring it out. Discovering and developing who we are takes time and exploration and trying things on to see if they fit. I think a really important part of that process is trying out the things your friends like and seeing if you like them, too. So I don't think you're doing anything wrong by reading dystopian books or watching Marvel movies because your friends do. I don't think there's anything inauthentic about liking things that other people introduced you to, but there's also nothing wrong in deciding that those things aren't for you. Try a bunch of different things (activities, genres of media, foods, whatever you can think of) and see what you enjoy, regardless of who introduced you to them.
In terms of more concrete personality traits, this might sound like strange advice, but I would try taking a bunch of personality tests (for example MBTI, Enneagram, VIA Character Strengths, Strengthsfinder, your zodiac sign, your Hogwarts house, whatever you can think of). Not because they have any real validity in terms of telling you who you are, but because I think being able to look through the different traits and compare them against how you view yourself can be helpful in figuring out what’s true about you and what you like about yourself. In turn, that can give you a more concrete idea of "who you are". And from there, I think maintaining a healthy personality is about reminding yourself who you are in situations where you're pressured to be someone else and focusing on playing to your strengths instead of focusing on the ways you don't match up to others.
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Between al the gifs set and posts I'm starting to getting curious about that asian serie (the unbreakable? The unteamable? Sorry, I'm bad with titles) so I have some question before diving in head first.
What is the plot about exactly? From what I've understood is two brother, one of witch is a necromant fighting things in China (?) and there is some sort of romance? And a lady that I think is a witch? Idk.
Also, any warning that I should be ready for when I start watching? Major trigger? Like, if it was a fic, witch tag would use? Especially for gore, blood, violence, things like that, because I'm a little squeamish...
And at the end: where can I watch it? Possibility subtitled in english, because sure as hell I don't speak any Asiatic language (except a couple of weabo terms from my anime days, but you know, is not feasible).
Thanks in advace for your help! Like, really, thank you <3
- A maybe future fan
OH HONEY OK LET ME HELP
Yes, it's called "The Untamed" and I watched it on Netflix with subtitles. I don't think there is a dubbed version?? But the videos are also on YouTube, and there is a translated novel that I will later post the link for. The show is a REALLY good and an accurate representation of the book, with some minor changes. But on the whole, I really enjoyed both watching the show and reading the book.
AS FOR PLOT!!
It's a Chinese fairy tale setting. Ancient Chinese dress and such, with magic and spiritual beliefs, and Chinese folklore. I'm not as familiar with Chinese folklore, so it was very enjoyable to learn about it. The plot itself is about these Clans (think of noble houses) who all practice what I can best describe as "Ghost hunting", but that is a MAJOR understatement. Think of Japan's shinigami and ghost hunting and putting unsettled souls at rest. The unsettled souls are typically shown as "zombies", or just walking corpses. Dead people with unsolved business or grudges come back as walking corpses. It's more campy than scary, so don't be alarmed. I personally don't like Western Zombies, and these are nothing like that. That being said, there are plenty of mangled bodies and body horror. There are clan politics and war that can get a little confusing, but still easy to follow.
Ugh, how to even describe the PLOT.
First we get 30 episodes of backstory, where we see three siblings attend this "school", where the troublesome brother (known as Wei Wuxian) gets into all sorts of mischief and makes it his personal mission to send the Perfect Student (known as Lan Wangji) to the loony bin by breaking as many rules as humanly possible. The school antics are WONDERFUL. The backstory takes us through the story of how Wei Wuxian begins to forsake the "good" path of culvitating spirits, for the "evil" path of manipulating spirits and ghosts for his own gain. Lots of misunderstanding about that. There's love, heartbreak, and drama. Wei Wuxian cracks and breaks in my FAVORITE trope of good guy going insane.
The show starts off with Wei Wuxian falling off a cliff to his death.
HOWEVER. About 10 years later (THEY SAY 16 IN THE SHOW BUT THE BOOK IS MORE ACCURATE), someone with so much rage and hatred actually sacrifices his own body to bring Wei Wuxian's soul back. However, in exchange for his new body, Wei Wuxian must find and carry out this person's revenge, or the wounds on his body will never heal.
So Wei Wuxian thinks on his feet, gathers information, and thankfully runs headlong into his boyfriend from the school days, and together they investigate some rather disturbing events about the death of another major character, and how it's connected to some very important people. It seems their steps are also being watched, and guided, by an unseen hand.
IT'S VERY GAY, BUT IT'S ALL SUBTEXT. I understand that Chinese restrictions ban the overt representation of homosexual behavior, but they are very much in love, and very much married in the book. Like for real. Married and consummated. I have squealed and kicked the couch for how FUCKING IN LOVE THEY ARE.
As for trigger warnings!!
Blood. Lots of it. People get killed, heads get cut off, bodies get mangled. But it's not like Western gore that tries to be as realistic and as gross as possible. I dont like gore, and I was able to handle this. A lot of times the characters will just randomly spit out blood to show that they have internal injuries, or have used too much spiritual energy.
Character deaths. This show has EVERYTHING from fluff to slow burn to DEEP AGONISING ANGUISH. A couple of characters even commits suicide, but it's not dwelled upon.
Torture. Not explicit, but we see the results. Like one person gets their eyes gouged out, and we see a bandage over their eyes. Punishment that is basically torture. Stuff like that.
Violence. Lots of fighting bc there is a clan war.
It's up to you if you think it's too much, but personally it is much easier to watch than Western shows like Walking Dead. I HATE zombies, but these guys are ok. Also, they are called "puppets" bc Wei Wuxian can control them.
THIS WAS REALLY LONG BUT I HOPE IT INTRIGUES YOU AND YOU GO AND WATCH SOME OF IT. The first two episodes are in the "future" arc, and then it goes back in time to when they are young. PLEASE COME BACK AND SCREAM AT MEEEEEEEE.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c749a9bf99e55385158dfe949490d4a/7ca4ecb372ad690f-cd/s540x810/700ceb287af4f6c3da28cc0b6d97d3f3c18bd066.jpg)
Levi Ackerman × reader
Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn
Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.
Hanji POV
I was giving a pep talk to my squad when I saw (Y/N) talking to Levi. We were about to leave the walls in a few moments. For a second, I think I saw shorty with a warm expression. It was surprising really, given that he always looked like a "constipated brat" in his own words. What was more surprising was that he found himself someone shorter than he is. When we were called to the lift, I saw (Y/N) and Levi giving each other some really intense looks and talking about something.
God knows what these two were talking about given that their looks could make new recruits piss their pants. Levi walked away from her when the lift arrived and stood beside me on the lift. I saw (Y/N) move slightly to stand with the crowd.
"Yo shorty, what were all those intense looks about?" I nudged Levi to which he answered, "Shut it shitty glasses". I smiled at his usual behaviour. Seems like even love can't change some things. I sighed at the thought. Moblit and I weren't able to go on a date because of how busy I was with my experiments. I need to make it up to him after the expedition if both of us come back alive. As the lift creaked up, someone shouted from the crowd, " HEY HANJI!". I looked down and saw, "Flegel?" I muttered, curious that he was shouting my name out. "TAKE BACK WALL MARIA! THE FUTURE OF MANKIND IS IN YOUR HAAAANDS!" he shouted.
Following his lead, many others shouted out encouragements. Some thanked Levi for saving the town and to that Levi muttered, "Someone's got a big mouth". " Well, with the commotion we made, of course they'd find out." I muttered, answering Levi. The replacement for Mike said, "The thing is, all the meat we ordered was from the Reeves company." The replacement for Squad leader Ness merely said, "Damn that Flegel".
Suddenly, I heard people beside us shouting "YEAH YOU CAN COUNT ON US!". I turned and saw Levi squad shouting out to the people. Other soldiers were muttering about how the Survey corps never had a send off like this before. Erwin replied to them by saying, "As far as I'm aware, this is a first" before starting to shout himself. Both Levi and I looked at him surprised. I looked down at the crowd to see (Y/N) gaping at the sight too. After all, this was completely unexpected for someone as calm as Erwin.
(Y/N) POV
It was surprising to see Uncle Erwin so excited about an expedition. Specially, one that could cause many casualties. The Survey Corps were gone after a while and the crowd dispersed. I went back to the Survey corps Headquarters to get my squad to help me receive all the furniture and make my home liveable. "I have a home now..." I thought gleefully. I finally was able to find happiness. I took my horse back from the stable and galloped towards the headquarter.
When I opened the door to the common room, I saw my squad complaining about not being able to join the expedition.
[(Y/N) Squad/ Special operations squad 2:
(Y/N) squad was supposed to be one of the four commanding squads beside Levi squad, Hanji squad and Drik squad but due to her pregnancy leave, Marlene squad was a temporary replacement for her.
Members:
Diana Becker: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Very good at communicating with other soldiers and after being trained by (Y/N), 3DMG techniques are improving. Appointed as (Y/N)'s second in command.
Heinrich Fischer: A transfer from Garrison from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is medic. Good at 3DMG and getting better with (Y/N)'s training. Excellent at hand to hand combat according to (Y/N) as he was the only person who knew the right strategy to use on (Y/N), losing nonetheless. Not too good in social skills
Stefan Wagner: A graduate from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is Veterinarian. Good at 3DMG and improving. Good at social skills and will implement any command given as flawlessly as possible.
Marie Schwarz: A military police transfer from 103 trainee corps. Area of specialty is dealing with finance. A serious soldier who is good at almost all sectors except hand to hand combat due to a lacking in understanding of the enemy's moves but that could be improved by team activities. However, it seems like she had difficulty with authority, specially (Y/N)'s.]
"Damn it... This was one important expedition and we couldn't join... They will all be awarded as heroes when they return and we will only be watching.." Heinrich complained to the other bored soldiers as I walked in. They were all seniors in case of Trainee corps records but younger than myself by a few years given that I joined a bit late. "Heinrich, if you are so keen on being Titan fodder, go ahead, take your horse and follow them. They haven't gone too far yet." I told him, shutting him up.
"Sorry, squad leader (Y/N). He was just being an ass" Diana muttered, smacking Heinrich on his head. They probably were in a relationship or something, given that I walked onto them kissing one time. I pretended I didn't see it though. "Well, be thankful that you aren't fighting Titans with your lives in your hands and instead you're helping me with decorating my home. I want you all at my home in 30 minutes. I'll be going to the furniture store and getting the furniture." I ordered them as they answered with a "Hai!" before I left for the furniture store. It was already getting dark. I took my horse there, paid the furniture makers, rented a wagon and with the help of the furniture maker's apprentice, took all the furniture home. The squad was already home and with their help, I started arranging the house.
"Diana, go arrange the kitchen utensils. Stefan and Heinrich, move that shelf away from the window." I commanded. Most of the house was already decorated. I just needed to get the bedsheets arranged, bring all of Levi's and my own books from the headquarters, except of course, the work related ones. "Marie, we are going to get the books" I commanded her and we went to the headquarter.
It took a while to arrange all the books as I did that by dividing the books by genres. After the whole decoration process was done, I thanked the squad and dismissed them. It was about 10 pm when I started cleaning the house. After an hour of cleaning, I felt like the house was clean enough for Levi's standards and I locked the front gate and went back to the headquarter. We weren't supposed to be living in this house till we get married. I was tired beyond measures after all the work and decided to pass out on the bed.
A few hours later
Levi POV
"Looks like the beast titan has us in it's sights. This place is about to turn into a honeycomb. Erwin, if you tell me there's no way left for us to fight back, I'll start preparing for defeat." I told Erwin. This operation was meaningless. Of course there was no chance of victory after this. If we had to get some survivors... I would have to give up my life... Would (Y/N) be okay with it? I'm sure she would be devastated... But I had to do this. For humanity and for a good future of my child... Can (Y/N) raise him on her own? "It could be a she too you know" (Y/N)'s voice rang in my head. She always pointed that out whenever I called our child a 'he'.
"Eren's sprawled out there, right? Go wake him up. You and some of the others get on him and run. That way we'll have at least a few survivors." I continued. I remembered the last time I slept with her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps... "The recruits and survivors from Hanji's squad can scatter on horses all at once and try to head home... How does that sound? With them acting as bait, you and the others on Eren will be able to escape." I concluded. I remember her snuggling into my arms, burying her head in my chest... "And what are you going to do, Levi?" Erwin asked me. Was that really the last time I saw her? And I really made a shitty promise that I couldn't keep that time?
"I'll deal with that beast. I'll lead him away" I answered. Am I really ready to choose humanity over her? Over our kid? "No. You can't even get close to him." Erwin stated. I remembered her rare smiles. I imagined a future where she and my kid will be safe. If this sacrifice is worth it, I can do this. "Probably not. But, if you and Eren make it back alive, there's still hope. Isn't that the kind of situation we're in now? This is a major defeat. Honestly, I'm not expecting anyone to make it home alive at this point." I replied. "True. If we don't have any way of fighting back." Erwin stated calmly. I was surprised. Did he have anything up his sleeve?
"Do you have one?" I asked him, genuinely surprised. "Yes" he stated. At this point, I was annoyed at him. What was he thinking? Why didn't he say this to me before? "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you put that ugly mouth of yours to work sooner and say something?" I asked, genuinely annoyed. "If this plan goes well, you may be able to defeat that beast. But only if we sacrifice the lives of all the recruits here, as well as mine." Erwin mentioned. Sacrificing Erwin? Didn't I promise (Y/N) that I'll keep him safe? If he makes a decision like this, how can I face (Y/N) again?
"You're absolutely right. No matter what we do, most of us will surely die. Infact, it's most likely that we will all be wiped out. So our only choice is to assume we are all expendable and work from there. We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing. So I doubt any of them will charge forward unless I was leading the way. Which would mean I'd be the very first to die. Without ever learning what was in that basement." Erwin said. "Huh?" I asked, confused.
This man was about to die and all he cared about was a shitty basement? He sighed and said, "I just want to go to that basement. Everything I have done, I did thinking that this day would come. That someday, I would be able to check my answers. There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die. Then, the dream I shared with my father would flash through my head. And now those answers are close enough to reach out and grab... They are right here... But, Levi, can you see them? All of our comrades? Our comrades are watching us. They want to know what we will do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause. Because they may be gone but their fight isn't over. But then again, I promised (Y/N) that I will be with her at her wedding... She doesn't deserve to lose more... I broke enough promises to her before. Will the last thing I told her be a promise that I couldn't keep? Or is it all pointless and nothing more than my own childish delusion?".
I looked at Erwin for a while, my mind full of doubt. He was implying that I have to make the decision. This was much worse. (Y/N) would never forgive me. She will despise me. I might lose the only chance I ever had of having a family. Then again, didn't I decide that sacrificing my life for the safety of (Y/N) and our child was worth it? Why should this be any different? If wall Maria is captured, humanity will be much closer to victory. (Y/N) and our child will be safer. I'd rather have (Y/N) hate me than get her killed because I was weak. I knelt down in front of Erwin and told him, "You've fought a good fight. We have only come this far thanks to you. I'm making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us. Lead the recruits straight into hell. And I'll take down the beast titan.". To that he smiled slightly at me. "Keep (Y/N) safe. You two have my blessings." he said, startling me before he explained the plan to me.
"You want me to approach the beast by myself using vertical manoeuvring? There's nothing around him! There isn't a single tree or house or anything else I can use!" I asked Erwin, not understanding what he was talking about. "No... You have targets that are the perfect height. They are standing there all in a row aren't they? Use the titans to sneak up on and ambush the beast titan." Erwin explained.
I stood beside him as he convinced all the soldiers to give up their lives. Deep down, I knew it was all my decision. I felt revolted by myself. Does a person like me even deserve the happiness and stability of a family? When I can decide to send so many people to their deaths, bringing tragedy to so many other families... "No. I won't regret my decision now. It is all for the greater good" I convinced myself as I stood, watching the faces of people who knew they were about to die meaningless deaths.
The plan was put into action. I maneuvered towards the beast titan, killing it's titan army in progress. I saw the suicide charge down there. "I'm sorry" I told them in my mind as I slashed the napes of titans.
"Turning into titan puts a heavy strain on your body... So you can't transform again while you're busy healing. Isn't that right?" I asked the blonde man who I had cut out of the beast titan and stuffed my blade in his mouth. I pushed the blade forward, making it come out of an eye socket through his mouth before saying, "Hey, answer me. Don't you have any manners?". "I can't kill him. Not yet. Isn't there anyone still alive? It doesn't matter how injured they are as long as they are breathing... I can use this shot to turn them into a titan... Then I can have them eat this guy and steal the power of the beast titan. Isn't there anyone?" I thought. An image of Erwin passed through my mind.
"Isn't there someone I can bring back-" my thoughts were interrupted by the cart titan's mouth. I assumed that it tried to eat me but I moved away and saw it taking the beast titan and run away. "Hey! Where are you going? Stop. I'm not done with you yet..." I said, my voice sounding like a defeated person. Did I just lose to him at the last moment? The beast titan commanded the remaining titans to come at me. "Wait... I swore to him... That I'd kill you no matter what." I muttered. Anger surged into me as I continued, "I SWORE TO HIM!" as I changed my blades and charged towards the titans coming at me, slashing their napes off as fast as possible so that I could follow the beast and end him.
I flew to the wall as fast as possible to find the beast titan in front of Eren. Eren had his blade to the throat of a limbless figure, possibly the colossal titan. The beast titan saw me and started running again as I flew towards Eren. My gas finished off just as I reached Eren. "That was the last bit of gas I had. I'm going after him. Give me all your gas and blades. Hurry!" I commanded Eren just before a black figure behind him coughed faintly.
The black figure was Armin. Eren was going insane after figuring out that Armin was alive. He shouted at me excitedly to give the titan serum to Armin. A certain gut feeling made me hesitate. What if Erwin isn't dead? I was handing the serum out to Eren when Floch arrived with Erwin on his back. He said that Erwin is alive and gravely injured. I took the serum back, sure that I will inject it to Erwin. "Captain?" Eren asked, surprised and scared. I checked Erwin's nose with my hand.
"He's still breathing. He's still alive...". I can keep (Y/N)'s promise... "We're giving this injection to Erwin" I stated. Eren suddenly stood up, facing me. "You just said you'd use it on Armin.." he told me, tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm choosing to keep alive the man who will save humanity" I replied to Eren. Behind me, Mikasa got her blade out.
"You guys, do you have the faintest damn clue on what you're doing? We are talking about Erwin Smith. The commander of the Survey corps. You're telling me to sit here and let him die? There's no time. Get out of my way." I told them before Eren held the box of titan serum in my hands. "Eren, look past your feelings." I told him. "My feelings? Why did you hesitate before handing over the injection?" Eren asked me. Wasn't it obvious? I was trying to keep a promise that I made. I just had to take the chance...
"I was considering the possibility that Erwin was alive." I answered. "I don't see how you ever could ever have predicted that Floch would bring the dying commander." Eren stated. "You're right. But now that Erwin is here, we're using it on him." I told him my final decision. To my surprise, he still tugged on to the box and I had no choice other than punching him on his face, and sending him flying. Mikasa ran at me with her sword and jumped on me with her blade on my throat. Why couldn't I fight her? I was always stronger than her, but, was it guilt that made me feel this way? The fact that I probably was being selfish? That I wanted Erwin alive more for personal reasons than just the fate of humanity?
Hanji pulled Mikasa off me. She explained to her that everyone lost people dear to them today. She lost Moblit, how she regretted not going out with him even once, how she wished to bring him back too along with many other comrades. I was up on my foot now, kneeling in front of Erwin with the injection out. Suddenly, I felt someone grab my feet. "Heichou, have you heard of the ocean?" he said. He told me how much Armin wanted to see it. Floch tried to stop him but he said it anyway. I realised that he wasn't any different from me. He wanted his best friend back. I wanted (Y/N)'s happiness. I didn't have any right to choose who is to live and who is to die but at that moment, I was forced to make a choice. I chose to give in to my personal gain.
"Troops, clear the area! Erwin will turn into a titan and eat Berthold!" I commanded. "Fools, all of them... Like little kids... The way they scream and flail..." I muttered as I walked towards Erwin with Berthold. Suddenly, flashes of my conversation with Kenny came to my mind. "They couldn't keep going unless they were drunk on something..." he told me. I folded Erwin's jacket up to his elbow. I brought the injection towards his hand. "They were all slaves to something. Even him", Kenny's voice rang in my ear just as Erwin's hand shot up. " Teacher... How'd y... find out that they don't exist?" Erwin muttered.
Realisation flowed through my mind. Someone as self obsessed as Kenny decided to die when he achieved his dreams. I remembered the conversation I had with Erwin before the expedition. The one where he said that he didn't have much plans for after he finds out what was in the basement. The conversation from before the suicide march rang in my head. "There were so many times that I thought it would be easier to just die." I remembered Erwin saying that. Erwin was able to work his wonders only because of his curiosity on what was in the basement. If he found out what was in the basement, he won't have any reason to fight anymore. Sure, he loved (Y/N) but that had nothing to do with this fight. He already gave the responsibility of (Y/N)'s safety to me before the suicide march.
Even if Erwin lived, he wouldn't be able to contribute much to humanity's victory anymore. Armin on the other hand, still has a dream that was far from being achieved. "I need to keep (Y/N) and my child safe. No matter what." I thought. Erwin's death was crucial for humanity's victory. With that thought, I injected Armin with the titan serum.
To be continued...
Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder
#levi aot#shingeki no kyoujin levi#levi attack on titan#levi x reader#levi x fem!reader#levi×reader#captain levi#levi ackerman
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