#some sort of westernized version of them?

[1800veer]

my bf saw my chiaki one and asked me to do mikan so heres mikan :3

[centrally-unplanned]

We (somewhat rightly) mock the 2000's era fansub translation notes for their otaku fixations and privileging of trivia over the media, but they should be understood as serving their purpose for a bit of a different era in the anime fandom. Take this classic:

Like, its so obvious, right? Just say "pervert", you don't need the note! Which is true, for like a 'normie' audience member who just wants to watch A TV Show - but no one watching, uh *quick google* "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne" in 1999 is that person. The audience is weebs, and for them the fact that show is Japanese is a huge selling point. They want it to feel as 'anime' as possible; and in the west language was one of the core signifiers of anime-ness. 2004 con-goers calling their friends "-kun" and throwing in "nani?" into conversations was the way this was done, and alongside that a lexicon of western anime fandom terminology was born. Seeing "ecchi" on the screen is, to this person, a better viewing experience - it enhances their connection to otaku identity the show is providing, and reinforces their shared cultural lexicon (Ecchi is now a term one 'expects' anime fans to know - a truth that translator notes like this simultaneously created and reflected).

But of course your audiences have different levels of otaku-dom, and so you can't just say 'ecchi' and call it a day - so for those who are only Level 2 on their anime journey, you give them a translation note. Most of the translation notes of the era are like this - terms the fansubber thought the audience might know well enough that they would understand it and want that pure Japanese cultural experience, but that not all of them would know, so you have to hedge. The Lucky Star one I posted is a great example of that:

Its Lucky Star, the otaku-crown of anime! You desperately want the core text to preserve as much anime vocab as possible, to give off that feeling, but you can't assume everyone knows what a GALGE is - doing both is the only way to solve that dilemma.

This is often a good guideline when looking at old memetically bad fansubs by the way:

This isn't real, no fansub had this - it was a meme that was posted on a wiki forum in 2007. Which makes sense, right? "Plan" isn't a Japanese cultural or otaku term, so there is no reason not to translate it, it doesn't deepen the ~otaku connection~.

Which, I know, I'm explaining the joke right now, but over time I think many have grown to believe that this (and others like it) is a real fansub, and that these sort of arbitrary untranslations just peppered fansub works of the time? It happened, sure, but they would be equally mocked back then as missteps - or were jokes themselves. Some groups even had a reputation for inserting jokes into their works, imo Commie Subs was most notable for this; part of the competitive & casual environment of the time. But they weren't serious, they are not examples of "bad fansubs" in the same way.

This all faded for a bunch of reasons - primarily that the market for anime expanded dramatically. First, that lead to professionally released translations by centralized agencies that had universal standards for their subs and accountability to the original creators of the show. Second, the far larger audience is far less invested in anime-as-identity; they like it, but its not special the way its special when you are a bullied internet recluse in 2004. They just want to watch the show, and would find "caring" about translation nuances to be cringe. And since these centralized agencies release their product infinitely faster and more accessibly than fansubs ever did, their copies now dominate the space (including being the versions ripped to all illegal streaming sites), so fansubs died.

Though not totally - a lot of those fansub groups are still around! Commie Subs is still kicking for example. They either do the weird nuance stuff, or fansub unreleased-in-the-west old or niche anime, or even have pivoted to non-anime Japanese content that never gets international release. But they used to be the taste-makers of the community; now they are the fringe devotees in a culture that has moved beyond them. So fansubs remain something of a joke of the 90's and 2000's in the eyes of the anime culture of today, in a way that maybe they don't deserve.

[alexanderwales]

Everyone is born into a Genre, except for those poor souls who are destined to be side characters and bystanders, or occasionally taken hostage.

You were born to parents of different Genres, which was unthinkable a generation ago but now only raises a few judgmental eyebrows. Your father was a spy and your mother was a ninja, which is one of the more acceptable Genre pairings. There's crossover there, people understood it.

But when you were four, you first put on a cowboy hat, and it just felt right. Your parents were appalled. They didn't even know where the cowboy hat had come from.

You'd think, given the struggles they had in their own marriage and the prejudice they faced from the rest of the world, that they would be more understanding, but your father yanked the lasso you made from bedsheets away from you when you were eight years old, and your mother made you do throwing star drills in the family dojo for hours. You were horrible at it, and she blamed your father. Granted, you weren't any better at dodging laser tripwires.

Eventually you settled into dressing "normal". Dad and mom could pretend that it was a disguise, and it sort of was. Dad didn't wear his tuxedo everywhere, and mom only wore her shinobi shozoku when things were getting serious.

But then when you went to college you saw her, a coed walking across the quad in boots with spurs on them. Her blonde hair was in braids that stuck out from beneath her ten gallon hat. She was wearing chaps, and you followed after her like a puppy dog, trying not to be obvious about it but in retrospect being very obvious about it.

It was a rocky start. You made an awkward introduction, then she thought you were making fun of her when you started asking all kinds of questions. Western wasn't a popular Genre. It's time had come and gone. And even when she realized that you were serious, she was skittish, worried that you were interested for the wrong reasons, a Genre seeker.

Eventually she understood where you were coming from, that you were Western too, even if you didn't look like it, even if you didn't speak the language or have the skills.

One night, a week after you'd met, you asked her some innocuous question and she gave you a playful shove and called you a greenhorn. You felt your heart soar and a frission go across your skin. "Aw shucks," she said as you wiped away a happy tear, "Weren't nothin' but the truth."

From then on it was a blur of rodeos and saloons. You bought new clothes from the one general store they had in the city. You learned how to hogtie and cattle call. You ate beans around a campfire and then went to class the next day smelling like wood smoke and yearning for the wide open plains.

Going home felt itchy. It was too difficult to ignore how the clothes didn't feel quite right, and you wore flannel and jeans, on the edge of acceptability, flirting with the line. But you carried yourself differently too, and that was harder to disguise, especially since it was hard to remember the mask you'd been wearing.

One of these days you'll tell yours parents who you are, but there's a nagging feeling that they should have known all along, that they deprived you of a childhood that could have been happier if they hadn't tried to mold you into a version of them.

But until then, you'll guide your horse through town, moseying along, eating your vittles, and maybe with a cowgirl by your side.

[paper-mario-wiki]

I have a genuine question, and I ask because as a follower, I admire your reasoning in most things! But I, like yourself, have criticized white rappers and the culture which values them. But I find it confusing that you do the same, while also writing and performing rap as a white girl. I'm curious about your reasoning! Is it because you don't really seek acclaim, or publish your stuff for any purpose other than just to make it? Would you say it's that you don't seek compensation or recognition? Or is it some totally different reason??

i think it comes down to how specifically you're looking at the issue.

the problem doesn't start and stop at "white people shouldn't rap because rap isn't for white people."

it's more along the lines of "the western entertainment industry at large has long enforced white colonialist ideals at its very foundation which puts white people at the top of the social ladder, making it significantly easier for them to become noticed and rewarded for being somewhat competent. for the past 30 years especially, people have been using imagery and themes originating from hip-hop culture to promote themselves with no regard for its history as a black art form. this leaves the actual black artists who create and uphold this artform underserved, underrewarded, underrecognized, underpaid, and sometimes straight up dead. and the crackers keep making money anyway."

so a couple things i decided before starting posting rap were:

i do not want to Be A Rapper, and im not going to try and become a rapper. there are plenty of white rappers already. im just a white writer who likes to rap. it's fun. if someone wants to buy a song i wrote off my bandcamp fine, if someone wants to collaborate with me that's awesome!-- but im not going to pursue this as any sort of financial opportunity.

im going to be fully honest with what i write, and how i write it. im going to avoid co-opting language that doesn't come to me naturally, and im going to avoid writing about a version of myself that does not exist. honesty is one of the most beautiful parts of my favorite raps anyway.

[teaboot]

holy moley the idea of alexander skarsgard as murderbot is irreconcilable in my head lol. when i read the book for my scifi class i pictured murderbot as more feminine in appearance tbh, and i thought it was weird that no one else in that class seemed to. i feel like i mightve missed something in the text bc i find it wild how widespread "murderbot looks like a man" is. or is their physical appearance more fleshed out in other books?

Murderbot (it/its so far as I've read) has so far been definitively described as having:

A Humanoid figure, with two arms and legs

A human face

Explicitly no genitalia, with none desired, and no primary or secondary sex characteristics noted

(In book one) Having hair only on its head, then eyelashes and eyebrows, being smooth everywhere else

Nonhuman features on its arms/legs that can be concealed under pants and long sleeves

Some kind of mechanical port on the back of its neck that is not uncommon on "augmented humans"

No distinct freckles, moles, or markings

An incomplete internal digestive system

By what isn't described I imagine we can safely assume that it has eight fingers and two thumbs in the usual formation, though wearing shoes I'm not sure about toes.

I also haven't heard anything apropos of scarring, except that it heals rapidly, so I imagine any distinguishing marks from injuries likely wouldn't last long.

Nobody as far as I've read has referred to it by any assumed binary or neo-pronouns, and as relatively progressive as the setting is in terms of queer and poly relationships I can easily imagine that agender humans with it/its pronouns wouldn't be too terribly strange in common company either.

So far, no third party characters have called it a "he" or "she", which could either mean that nobody in this universe adheres to our current rigid social view of the gender binary and masc/fem appearances, or that Murderbot is simply incredibly androgynous. As a reader, I like to think the reality is both- a secunit doesn't need to look distinctive or gendered or have any features it doesn't strictly need outside of its function. As it says in the book, it's not a sex-model, so it doesn't need sex-parts, and it wasn't made to be looked at.

I feel like the only reason anyone would read that and ascribe to it a male face and body is because our current western society tends to treat "white male" as the natural default setting, and anything else as "other".

We expect Murderbot to be a conventionally handsome white man because that's the popular view of neutral.

But there's no reason it couldn't be performed by an actor who is female, or Indigenous, or Korean, or anyone else from anywhere else

If our Pretty White Man isn't the default neutral in Murderbot's universe, and if there is no default neutral, then the Default Neutral Murderbot was designed to look like could be anyone

Provided, of course, that they 1. Have a human face 2. Have no freckles or moles (for book 1 at least) 3. Have two arms and legs, of some manner, and 4. Don't flash their junk on screen

Aa far as I'm concerned, that's all we need.

And you know what? I think the prospect of getting to choose any actor at all, point to them, and say "This person? They're the norm! They're unremarkable! They are a version of True Neutral, and they aren't a small-nosed blue-eyed white guy with abs!"... I think that's kind of exciting, and I sort of fear that it may be an overlooked opportunity to say something interesting

[robin-evry]

𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 🐲🐲

A dragon is a magical legendary creature that appears in the folklore of multiple cultures worldwide. Beliefs about dragons vary considerably through regions, but dragons in Western cultures since the High Middle Ages have often been depicted as winged, horned, and capable of breathing fire. 

Ps : this headcanon has a lot of references to dungeon meshi my new favorite anime

( English is not my first language )

since dragons are one of my favorite mythical beings and the world has their own version of the dragons in their own culture, I'm planning on making two or more of different types of dragon!yuu head Canon and so I'll be starting with the western style dragons.

I imagine they have 3 forms of transformations.

( the first : human form ) one is basically their human form, the form where they usually interact with people. But some of their dragon features would still appear like their tail and horns

( the second : chimera form ) is basically basically their human form as the upper body while their dragon forms as the lower body with 2 pairs of large wings.

( third one : dragon form ) is just their full dragon form

The second form would be 11 meters. and the third form would be 30 meters. Depends on you guys headcanon, dragon!yuu could have feathers or not, you guys can add in your own unique features on them, I also imagine them being able to use magic and having some sort of healing factors

First scenario : basically dragon!Yuu were confused about where they were and their first instinct is to attack because they might get captured and so it leads to a dragon!yuu vs multiple students and staff, trying to detain them or calm them down. After a while they manage to calm them down.

Second scenario : they appear the same way in the game, in the coffin and when grim was setting the school on fire, dragon!yuu manage to save multiple students from the fire and cast a spell to stop the fire.

when fighting the overblots, I imagine them fighting in their chimera form and by flying to the sky opponent in hand and then crushing down their opponents to the ground, very effective or not they might use their tail to launch their opponent backwards and then cast a spell on them. But don't worry when the battle is down, dragon!yuu will heal the injured characters using recovery magic or ressuraction magic to heal damages That might be permanent.

Malleus and dragon!yuu would definitely build a connection with each other, both of them came from dragon descendants. They would definitely have a deep relationship with each other whenever or not it's platonic or something romantic depends on you guys.

imagine dragon!yuu has a habit of hoarding things they might think is precious, I imagine dragon!Yuu shows it off to people that are the closest to them with so much pride.

Dragon!yuu would also have a large appetite, they can eat an entire cafeteria worth of foods in one day without troubles but they have to suppress their appetite to make sure most of the students get some food. So they usually go hunting for food in the forest or somewhere else. They also have a strong digestive system to the point it can withstand Lilia cooking without troubles and also with a little help with their healing factor abilities.

[thefugitivesaint]

''Starfix'', #2, 1983 The 1980s saw a proliferation of 'Sword & Sorcery' films and the genre of "Heroic Spaghetti" was the 'Sword and Sandal'/'Sword and Sorcery' version of Spaghetti Westerns. They were cheaply produced Italian movies that imitated/plagarized/copied American movies of the same genre (which often had larger budgets and more professional production values although, in relation to other American films, were considered low budget shlock).

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Far too many cheap Italian fantasy films were badly reproduced versions of 'Conan'.

'Sword and the Sorcerer', ''L'ecran Fantastique'', #25, 1982 (The poster art was done by the British artist Peter Andrew Jones) A film I've posted about previously and I stand by what I wrote.

'The Beastmaster', ''L'ecran Fantastique'', #23, 1982 Peak Marc Singer's abs. The only memorable aspect of this movie for me was the appearance of the 'Winged Devourers'.

Hawk the Slayer (1980) Arguably the film that began the 'Sword & Sorcery' craze of the 1980s. It's also in direct competition with 'The Beastmaster' as one of the worst films in the genre.

Krull (1982) 'Sword & Sorcery' but IN SPACE. Still enjoy the special effects around the 'Slayers', alien knights (of sorts) who are the soldiers of 'The Beast', the primary antagonist of the film. I still think that the 'Glaive', the magical weapon used by the film's hero (he's holding it in the poster art), is one of the most impractical weapons ever conceived. Saw this film in theaters as a child and loved it. I have less love for it in adulthood is what I will kindly say now.

Frank Frazetta (1928-2010), 'Fire and Ice', 1983 'Sword & Sorcery' but ANIMATED. Ralph Bakshi's animated film created in collaboration with Frazetta. If you want to see a movie that involved a great deal of creative work from some very creative people only to tell a predictable and mediocre story than I recommend watching 'Fire and Ice.' Like many of the cheaply made horror films of the 1980s, the poster art and VHS box art for fantasy films were far superior to the content they advertised. The same applies to the "Heroic Spaghetti" films. The poster art for almost all of the "Heroic Spaghetti" films was done by outside companies not directly involved in the production and most of the art was done by Italian artists Enzo Sciotti (1944-2021) and Renato Casaro. The poster art they created is probably the only enduring legacy of this genre given how utterly forgettable the films were.

I could name dozens of additional films here but I'm not going to waste your time (nor mine). If you're reading this you can easily look them up yourself.

[wisteria-lodge]

What do you think JKR did best in Harry Potter, and what do you think she did worst?

I'll just do the first five good and first five bad that pop into my head.

GOOD

JKR writes about grief and fear extremely well. It's complex, nuanced, visceral, messy. When I pull out really good passages of her writing, that's almost always what they're about.

She has a good eye for friend group dynamics. Harry, Ron and Hermione work. The way they crack and splinter, the way that two of them will gang up on the third and then work it out, that's really well observed. Their banter works. Their arguments work.

She has an incredible knack for side characters. There are SO MANY of them, and most spend very little time on screen. But the details we get are memorable, interesting and well-chosen - not only do you remember who all these people are, it's perfectly reasonable that your favorite character is like, Tonks - even though we barely see her.

JKR never wastes a transition. These books have a *lot* of scene transitions, and they are used to drop characterization, clues, worldbuilding, or build suspense. You never get "Harry was late to class." You get "Harry was late to class because Peeves had vanished two-thirds of the stairs up to the astronomy tower." It's a good trick for making a world feel alive, and make a mystery feel satisfying. Also, JKR ends *chapters* really well.

She's good at naming things. Good place names, product names, character names. They're memorable, whimsical, build a really strong brand identity and no wonder themed entertainment based off this series does so well. It's hard to invent a word that means something to your audience, but she's good at it. Dementor, apparate, muggle, Slytherin, Gryffindor. There's a ton of specialized vocab in this universe, and that's how she gets away with it.

BAD

... she's good at naming so long as the thing she's naming exists in Western Europe. The second it doesn't, we run into problems *real* quick. No-Maj? Cho Chang? Ilvermorny and the four houses Wampus, Pukwudgie, Horned Serpent and Thunderbird?

JKR can't write romance. It's strange, because her grasp of family and group dynamics is so good, but she just can't write a romantic couple being romantic. She can write pining, she can write longing, she can write cringingly awkward couple, arguably she can even write exes - but she will bend over backwards so the two halves of a romantic couple never actually have to be in the same scene, interacting with each other. In HP this mostly shows up in the way the Harry/Ginny stuff (and the Ron/Hermione stuff...) falls flat, and Remus/Tonks comes out of absolutely nowhere. But the Cormoran Strike books and the Fantastic Beasts movies clearly *want* to be romances, and she just can't do it.

Being uber-femme/girly in the Harry Potter books is consistently a very negative trait. Pink, bows, ruffles, painted nails, styled hair, being interested in fashion, being interested in boys (versus boys being interested in you...) It hovers somewhere around being pathetic and being villainous. If you're girly, you can redeem yourself by becoming a mother (like Fleur) or you can reject girliness (like Hermione - who can look all pretty and femme for the Yule Ball, but "that's far too much bother to do everyday.")

There is often a disconnect between a character's actions and the way the way that character is framed by the text. Like, JKR obviously has a very clear idea in her head of who Severus Snape or Draco Malfoy or Molly Weasley is... and that idea does not 100% make it onto the page. Most characters are hit with this to some degree. Someone like Ron is the exception: I do think that the version of him on the page and the version of him in JKR's head are exactly the same.

There is a very *young* sort of moral simplicity in these books... kind of. The Ministry of Magic gets more nuanced and grey as the story goes on, Dumbledore and his plan gets more nuanced and grey... JKR clearly wants to make the thematic underpinnings of her story more complex and adult... but the Slytherins are all just the bad guys. That's not a stereotype, that's not 12 year old Harry with a simplified worldview, they're all just like that. They all run away from the final battle (and/or want to turn Harry over to Voldemort.) She goes out of her way to make Snape an honorary Gryffindor, when it would have been easier and better to just... say that this is a guy who used slytherin traits in a positive way? There is something very deep in her that just wants an infallible force to pick out the Good People, and then put the Good People in charge. that's literally the plot of fantastic beasts 3.

[olderthannetfic]

I am most definitely beating a dead horse with this ask, but I gotta say something cause it's just boiling up inside my chest right now.

We all don't really like the the author for Heartstopper because she put down Asian BL and it's "Bad kinky feithisatization" and basically saying her Western work is pure and non fetishy (Fucking shoot me.)

And it just reminded of an author who did that several years back, definitely to a lesser degree though. They still did it and I remember I stopped reading it because it felt so fuckin performative and it left such a bad fucking taste in my mouth.

Author of the Webtoon Castle Swimmer had a chapter come out maybe between 2021-2022 where the main character (they are guys, they are gay for each other) saw each other again after they were apart for quite some time. When they reunited, there was as scene of them kissing and it getting juuuuuust a tiny bit spicy, not much though. It was cute, it was nice.

I go down to the comments where authors can put notes down for the webtoons and the author had written something along the lines of how the story isn't gonna be icky sexual and there is going to be no fetishy bullshit when it comes to the two main characters and fucking blah blah blah and basically implying that other webtoons that do turn sexual with it's gaybies are impure scum.

Don't know if they still feel like that

But my question is - why the fuck do these supposed queer authors or authors that make queer content always trying to save face and say that their content is better than that "icky shit",

Like fuck, Castle Swimmer has pretty decent rep in its story, but I can't seem to enjoy it when I feel as if its just their as a "HEY LOOK AT MY STORY IT HAS THE RIGHTS THINGS TO LIKE"

and unfortunately that's how I feel with most lgbtq webtoons, books, etc. Idk maybe I'm just cynical and tired or maybe they just suck at writing and incorporating queer themes and characters - I have no idea.

This probably could be worderd a lot better to bring more nuance to the table, but I am so upset at Castle Swimmer because I like it a lot, I just can't past the bullshit.

--

Rest assured that the desire to shoot oneself in the foot is not restricted to authors of queer works.

"My version of this genre is so much better" is a common malady among all sorts of creators.

This particular flavor has a little more stupidass purity culture and sucking up to the mainstream, but it's not so different from the many flavors of "There's no good ___ fic, so I'm going to write some!" and "I, a ~literary~ author, know how to write genre fiction better than you hacks!"

[kinnbig]

I somehow never realised Perth’s name wasn’t actually Perth and now my mind is sort of blown. I get confused at how Thai names work anyway so I shouldn’t be surprised, but 🤯

fjckskc I mean Perth is his name, in the same way that Apo’s name is Apo and Nodt’s name is Nodt, but they’re just not their legal names.

and I can try and explain it! (or Perth explains it rlly well in this video lol)

basically! in Thailand, in most situations people are referred to by their used name (also called a nickname or a play name) rather than by their legal first name.

used names, like first names, are often given at birth, but unlike first names they’re not recorded on legal documentation such as birth certificates. last names are often long and aren’t used very often - it’s not uncommon for good friends to not know each other’s last names.

in general western naming convention, you would probably refer to someone by just their first name, or as ‘first name + last name’. someone might have a nickname that they prefer to their legal first name, and in these cases you might refer to them as ‘nickname + last name’.

but the convention for Thai names is to refer to people most of the time with either their used name, or as

‘used name + first name’

(with some exceptions, such as legal/business situations and in the credits of TV/movies).

sometimes you might also see someone’s ‘full name’ written or said as

‘used name + first name + last name’

eg mydramalist writes Mile Phakphum Romsaithong and Nodt Nutthasid Panyangarm.

but generally, you’d say/write either just someone’s used name, or ‘used name + first name’ in most contexts.

if you were talking about Apo Nattawin, for example - Nattawin is his first name, and Apo is his used name (his last name is Wattanagitiphat). because of TV crediting convention, he is credited as Nattawin Wattanagitiphat in the KinnPorsche credits - but he refers to himself as Apo Nattawin, and that is the name others use for him in most situations.

some more quick (random) examples from the KinnPorsche cast -

Tong Thanayut - ‘full name’ Tong Thanayut Thakoonauttaya, credited as Thanayut Thakoonauttaya - but referred to as Tong or Tong Thanayut

Barcode Tinnasit - ‘full name’ Barcode Tinnasit Isarapongporn, credited as Tinnasit Isarapongporn - but referred to as Barcode or Barcode Tinnasit

there are exceptions, obviously - although it’s more common to introduce yourself as ‘used name + first name’, Bible often introduces himself as Wichapas Sumettikul, then adds “or Bible” as an addendum (possibly because he had a more western upbringing) - but he still tends to be referred to as Bible Wichapas in most contexts.

Perth Nakhun is just one big exception lmao. Nakhun isn’t his first name or his last name - it’s a shortened version of Nakhuntanagarn, his mother’s last name. Perth Nakhun is more of a Thai stage name - by ‘typical’ conventions he would be referred to as Perth Stewart lol (and I have actually seen him referred to this way a few times in articles). interestingly (to me, at least), his ‘full name’ seems to be considered to be Perth Nakhun Screaigh, with Nakhun treated as his legal first name. so he gets credited as Nakhun Screaigh - even though Nakhun is not actually his first name. the TV credits follow the typical convention (Perth Nakhun Screaigh -> Nakhun Screaigh) rather than actually crediting with ‘first name + last name’. idk if this was Perth’s choice or just what happened but it’s interesting!

(Jeff Satur is also a stage name - though unlike with Perth, it seems to be considered his ‘full name’ and is also what is used in his TV credits)

anyway that got kind of long (and very colourful! I love colour coding!) but I hope it was somewhat helpful 🥰

[txttletale]

Can you give your thoughts on the general character art design of Hades? It's always seemed kind of off to me and you seem to have good enough media opinions to put the reason why into words

i mean, first of all, i think that they suffer just from being The Greek Gods and therefore just having the most barebones basic designs that those archetypal characters get in pop culture. like look at zeus:

like. this is Zeus. there are some interesting flairs here with the lightning crown and cloud beard but like. It's Zeus. the visual language here is not communicating anything more interesting or unique or vivid than It's Zeus. contrast, like, rukey from pyre:

look at how much fucking personality is conveyed by this little freak. the fucking moustache! the fancy little cloak but the messy dog hair. the playful expression, the gold tooth, the glint of cunning in the eye, the raised little paw. you look, at this guy and get an immediate idea of what and who he is.

i also hate how 1. shrinkwrapped and 2. fucking grey and ashy every single character in hades is. like look at zeus's muscles up there this man is fucking dehydrated and like. why does athena look like this

she is grey. she is so fucking grey. this is a vampire. this is a woman made of ash.

furthermore i find what they did with the greek gods wrt to making them a few different races to be a cowardly half-measure. like--the idea they forwarded in interviews that greek gods are 'global' and should represent the whole world are, quite frankly, just bullshit! i dislike this universalization of a mythology that is very very very tied to a particular culture and time and place because it is just another shape of the attempted universalization of the 'Western Canon', the removal of these things from historical place and context to make them abstract ideals that can be imposed upon the whole world because they 'transcend culture' while really they have just been incorporated into a dominant culture.

but, like, most frustratingly--there is a like huge wealth of cultural variety to be found in greco-roman myth. versions of these gods were worshipped in north africa and egypt and west asia and even as far as india. but, like, the commitment to multiethnicisim is purely surface-level, so they don't employ any of the iconography or look into these non-european syncretic depictions of these deities. they just take all their design cues from the tired pop-culture versions of purely greek aesthetics. imagine how fucking interesting the character designs for hades could have been if instead of making dionysus a person of colour and calling it a day, they represented a specifically indo-greek dionysus!

first after the conquests of alexander and once again after the expansion of the roman empire, these sorts of syncretic beliefs flourished throughout the mediterranean. if you really want to write a greek mythology story without a cast of white guys then give me Zeus-Ammon, god dammit!

anyway yeah the fact that all of hades' characters look like they're severely hydrated and their roof just caved in on them is weird and bad and other than that they're for the most part just deeply generic Greek Gods with what feels like very little care or innovation or personality put into their designs compared to characters from transistor or pyre. shomar shasberg and manly tindenstauf each have more unique visual personality than every hades character combined

[katieaki]

So, you’re interested in jumping into Pony Express but aren’t sure where to start/feel daunted by the undertaking/are freaked out about missing lore & context? Pony Express is intended to be a completely standalone work with no knowledge of my prior work necessary for enjoyment, but it has been rolling for quite a while now! Here’s some info to help you orient yourself! 💫 I recommend looking at this guide on desktop as the mobile version collapses the bullet points in a strange way.

✨ Here’s the absolute most basic summary:

Lou Primrose (30 years old, 5'0", illiterate, hardworking, 3x rodeo champion) is a rider for the Pony Express, the Wasteland's mail service. Lou has agreed to transport an unusual package from the middle of the Wasteland to the nearly uninhabited coast: a glamorous redhead named Holliday Bell. A case of mistaken identity sees Lou brutalized and disabled by religious assassin from the church of Johnny Knives (god of death) Reckoning "Artie" Tehachapi, who attempts to atone for her wrongdoing by serving Lou until she's healed. Together (for better or worse) the three of them head toward the ocean through unknown and dangerous territory.

This work is erotic in nature 🔞 with some violence and survival-type gore.

✨ If you’re totally new here, you might have some questions. Here’s a super quick primer under the cut!

What’s up with The Wasteland?

The Wasteland is a post-apocalyptic, non-dystopian society in the former American southwest. It has been several generations since the civilization Before (that’s us, or maybe like... our grandparents) was decimated. Nobody is particularly interested in the whys or hows of the collapse, though it seems that environmental disaster & earthquakes were the main factor.

It’s a series of towns, shrines, convents, and monasteries. Quite a lot of it is in repurposed buildings from Before (imagine Route 66-style gas stations, diners, and motels, all heavily repaired) and some of it is kind of ramshackle old-west-y new builds.

God of Death, religious assassins, churches– what’s up with all that? I’m afraid, sounds lore-y.

Wasteland society is heavily structured around the two churches of the gods of life & sorrow (The Listening Lady) and death & justice (Johnny Knives), who are married, immortal, and absolutely real. They live apart from the mortals, but they do live in the Wasteland with them. The Listening Lady’s church is responsible for basically every aspect of Wasteland life. Listening Church shrines and convents are also the Wasteland’s official or de facto orphanages, pantries, farms, hospitals, therapists, inns, textile mills, wedding venues, and basically everything else you need to keep a society functioning. Listening Church acolytes may have a huge variety of occupations, from the extremely down-to-earth (midwifery and laundry etc) to the real Weird and Churchy (doing rituals and divination etc). Many of them take a vow of silence in honor of The Listening Lady. The church of Johnny Knives is much smaller and much more specialized. Knife Church disciples are assassins whose sacred duty is to kill those who need killing, as judged by god. 

You don’t really need to get INTO this, though. What you need to know is: Listening Church acolytes are generally warm and kind and in caregiver- or artisan-type roles. Knife Church disciples are peacekeepers & generally a little scary, but are also working toward the public good– kind, but not necessarily nice.

I know the concept of gods and disciples invokes the image of like, robes and shit, but that is NOT how it is! Listening Church acolytes tend toward chiffon and midcentury-lingerie-as-outwear looks and/or country western workwear, depending. Knife Church disciples nearly invariably have sort of a greaser/biker/leather daddy thing going on. They all talk about the gods like they’re their parents and their bosses, which they are. I think it’s kind of more normal than you might be expecting. 

So there’s like, magic?

According to the Wastelanders, yes. You don’t need to worry too much about any of that. Just let them do their things.

And everyone is in a church?

Almost everyone interacts with Listening Church in some way, very few interact with Knife Church in any way, but most people in the Wasteland are ‘civilians’ (that is to say, not working for either church).

And they’re all lesbians? How do they have babies??

They’re not ALL lesbians, but basically all our POV characters are & it’s a very lesbian-heavy society. There are many ways that two women may have children, including biological. You got this, I know you do. 

And everyone is blue?

Yeah, but it doesn’t really come up.

Why?

Because I liked drawing them with the sky blue posca paint marker when I began this body of work.

Ok. What’s up with Lou?

Louetta “Lou” Primrose is a rider for the Pony Express– she’s a Wasteland mailman. Her job is basically her whole life. She’s been working since she was ten years old, working for the Pony Express since she was 14. After receiving a romantic rejection from Venus, the dance hall girl she’s in love with, Lou agrees to take a strange red-headed woman, Holliday Bell, to the (allegedly) uninhabited coast, where Holliday’s wife is (allegedly) waiting for her.

Lou is dedicated, practical, and hard-working, but also hot-headed, frequently mean, a little self-conscious, and ‘a rambling man,’ never in one place for long. She’s markedly not religious among other Wastelanders (so is a great pov character for you if you’re new to al this!). Her greatest achievement has been winning the main event at the Wasteland’s biggest horse games three years in a row, unseating the previous champion. Nobody else really cares that much.

What’s up with Holliday?

Holliday Bell is an elegant and mysterious woman who showed up to Lou’s post office with stamps pinned to her blouse, claiming she’d mailed herself there from a town hundreds of miles away. She is asking Lou, who works at the most westerly post office in Wasteland, to finish the delivery by bringing her way out to the coast where she claims her wife, a pearl diver, is waiting for her. 

Holliday is strange. From the beginning, Lou feels put off by her personality, which is both abrasive and seemingly rehearsed. She can be unspeakably cutting and is obviously hiding a big secret. 

What’s up with Artie?

Reckoning “RT” “Artie” Tehachapi is the Knife Church disciple who, after a series of lies and miscommunications spanning several parties across the Wasteland, is sent to apprehend Lou, who she thinks has kidnapped Holliday. She breaks Lou’s wrist and dislocates her shoulder in their first altercation before she learns that Lou is an innocent party in all of this. Deeply ashamed of her actions, she vows to serve Lou until they make it back to civilization.

Artie is upbeat and optimistic, especially for Knife Church, but her guilt at her transgressions against Lou & eagerness to make up for them have left her in a kind of anxiety spiral.  She’s the only one who has any real survival skills and continually works herself to the last drop, and then works herself a few drops more. When her big, horrible, deep, dark secret is revealed, her mental state continues to deteriorate.

What’s up with Venus? We haven’t seen her in a while?/Who’s the one-armed smokeshow?

Venus is Lou’s love interest, the girl she left behind in Hereafter. We haven’t seen her in a while because she, wisely, stayed there while Lou went off on her extremely inadvisable mission.

Venus of the Wastes is a dime-a-dance girl/saloon girl/sex worker who lives in Hereafter. She is Lou’s friend and Lou is both in love with her and her best client. Just before Lou left to deliver Holliday, she admitted to Venus that she was in love with her. Venus is, at least, very fond of Lou.

✨ Ok, but this is a lot! Where do I start??

If you’re looking to hop in on the story in progress, I’ve made summaries of part 1 , part 2 , and part 3 as we have gone on. I’ll update this with part 4 when we finish it. 

If you’re a completionist, the links above have epub & pdf files of the full text of each part. Here’s where part 4 begins, until we finish that part and I post it all together. You can find the rest of part 4 by scrolling backwards through the collection. I will also attach pdfs & epubs of all the full text to this post on my patreon!

If you’re a completionist completionist & you want it ALL, here’s everything and the chronological order in which they occur in-universe. Again, Pony Express is meant to be able to stand on its own two feet without any of the rest of this, but it might be fun for you to read the rest. The first three here are kind of a series, but Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame and Bloodied on Arrival could both be read independently. Care and Keeping probably needs those two to support it, unless you’re happy just jumping in and figuring stuff out via context. It’s Artie’s backstory, but it’s not necessary for you to read to make Pony Express make sense. It’ll just give you a little more dramatic irony etc. 

Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame  - a novella about Hero Sasaki, a novice acolyte at the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life & sorrow) who has been tasked with delivering a package to an anchorite from her church. Frances is a disgraced assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who has been tasked with escorting her. Through trials of the road, emergency first aid, prayer, ritual (blood and otherwise), a little sex, and a lot of tears, they find love exactly where they should've expected it in the first place.

Bloodied on Arrival - a novel about Nuisance (and Hero), a road-weary assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who finds herself and her new cat taking refuge at a companionship shrine run by a beautiful older widow, Hero, of the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life and sorrow). The two can't deny their immediate connection and aim for a rewarding one-night stand, but things don't go as planned.

Care and Keeping - a work in progress novel(?) about Hero and Nuisance and their new adopted feral child, Artie, a little girl who has known nothing but abuse, pain, and starvation who believes it’s her sacred mission to join Knife Church. Nuisance agrees to train her to join the church in a bid to keep her from it for as long as possible. This is a kind of coming-of-age story for Artie and a becoming parents story for Hero & Nuisance.

Pony Express - A work in progress novel about Lou (also featuring Artie) - see synopsis at beginning of post.

The novel/las are available for purchase on my Patreon for $5 or for pay-what-you-want $5+ on Gumroad. If you find you can’t afford that, but want to read it, please let me know! DM me wherever or email me at missluckycatknives (at) gmail (dot) com I’m happy to make my work accessible to you. All Pony Express and Care and Keeping are free as I work on them. 

[ravenmacduff]

To those Pokémon leaks and the specifically the myths. People do know that the moral of all those stories is that humans can be cruel?

In each one we have humans being the aggressors, that includes the Typhlosion one.

In the Ponyta story, it’s the rival eastern hunter who disrespects Pokémon, and hunted female Rapidash Ponyta. Specifically targeting the young, and his actions angered Rapidash and eventually led to his death at the hands of the western hunter. And I think the other point of this myth is to act in a sustainable way. Male Rapidash can breed with many females, but the females can’t, if you want to protect the population, you hunt the males. It’s why in real life, hunters are given a certain amount of “antlerless” moose tags.

For the Octillary Story it’s pretty cut and dry, human cruelty. Reading closely I’m not actually sure if the sex between the father and the Octillary was consensual or not, since the Octillary didn’t verbally consent, but it kept returning to the same spot perhaps to see the man? Regardless it’s sketchy as hell. The Son is where things are definite. The son was cruel to the Pokémon around him, injuring and maiming them for no other reason than his own enjoyment. He wasn’t hunting them for food, he was slaughtering them because he felt like it (tbh this reminds me a lot of big game hunters, who don’t intend to eat what they kill, who get the thrill of the hunt and a trophy. Which I believe disrespects the animal). The Son was also very much given a chance to repent. To forsake his old violent ways and become a better person but he refused and in the end it led to his death.

I would say the Slakoth story was very similar to the Octillary story in that we have a human being needlessly cruel to Pokémon to animals. And in having a child who was the same as the people she hurt she learned just how cruel she was. And the other women learned the same lesson when they killed her child, and she committed suicide. I get the vibe that this story has an anti-bullying message. To be honest it shouldn’t take having a child to realize one’s wrongs, but there it is.

And lastly we come to the Typhlosion story that everyone has been obsessing about. In a lot of ways it resembles old Japanese tales. I’ve read one in the past where a man meets a beautiful woman, and cheats on his wife with her, ending up married to this woman and having children. Eventually something breaks the spell over him and he finds out that he was living with a vixen underneath his own porch tbe whole time. The Typhlosion one follows a similar beat, that a woman stays with a man because he looks after her and takes care of her. She eventually finds out he’s a Typhlosion but she decides to stay with him in that moment instead of fleeing. The child they produce may or may not be out of rape, but reading the story it doesn’t seem like that. The way she sees the Typhlosion as her husband suggests that it was more consensual. When she wanted to return to the human realm and live as a human once more, she tried to shed her old life, but she wasn’t able to. And the humans saw that she was changed forever and were cruel to her and her child. Even her own family drove her out.

I guess one thing I want to say before I end this is. It seems like people here and on other places on the internet seem to take these stories as literal. Instead of what they’re supposed to be, which are myths. Myths and tales didn’t necessarily happen in the way told, or happen at all. The point of myths and tales is to provide insight into the world, to provide a story with some sort of lesson. It’s clear from the final version of these myths present in the DPP games that they reduced these myths to their base element to give the player an idea about the world. And myths make a world seem real.

[writingwenches]

Westerosi Zodiac

situation — I needed to create a zodiac that had no seasons attachment, on a twelve month rotating calendar. I broke down the three main categories the signs fall under: modalities, seasons, and their elements. This is first/second draft of the animal ideas, I'm totally open to other categories measurements and animal representatives.

Seasons (Tell Time) — instead of months of set seasons, I turned this into Moon Phases

Spring: Waxing

Summer: Full Moon

Fall: Waning

Winter: New Moon

Element (Masculine v Feminine) — changed to "Guardians of Ruling Consolations"; I wanted to lean into the Masculine and Feminine energies of our signs, because Westeros needs all the Feminine energy it can get tbh. The elements are based on the Hippocrates types (sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic) and I don't think asoiaf uses this, so I made some new ones~

Fire: Knight/War General

Earth: Mother/Diplomat

Air: Smith/King/Ruler

Water: Maiden/Healer

Modalities (Transitional Phases) — turned into Times of Day, my other option was states of water (liquid/solid/mist), but tbh google can tell me what animals are crepuscular, but I don’t have enough drugs to say which animals is a mist…so…

Cardinal: Day

Fixed: Night

Mutable: Morning/Evening

*Cardinal gets Day because Ares is the first sign in the Zodiac and called dibs, and because I was high it fit the vibe, I'm up for hearing alternatives 🤷🏻

Ares; Cardinal of Spring + Fire

under a Waxing Moon; during the Day; ruled by the Knight Westeros — Dragon

Taurus; Fixed of Spring + Earth

under a Waxing Moon; during the Night; ruled by the Mother Westeros — Lion

Gemini; Mutable of Spring + Air

under a Waxing Moon; during the Transition; ruled by the Smith Westeros — Falcon

Cancer; Cardinal of Summer + Water

under a Full Moon; during the Day, ruled by the Maiden Westeros — Sheep

Leo; Fixed of Summer + Fire

under a Full Moon; during the Night, ruled by the Knight Westeros — Snake Dorne — Scorpion

Virgo; Mutable of Summer + Earth

under a Full Moon; during the Transition, ruled by the Mother Westeros — Raven (as a messenger)

Libra; Cardinal of Fall + Air

under a Waning Moon; during the Day, ruled by the Smith Westeros — Ox

Scorpio; Fixed of Fall + Water

under a Waning Moon; during the Night, ruled by the Maiden Westeros — Kraken Elsewhere — Mermaid

Sagittarius; Mutable of Fall + Fire

under a Waning Moon; during the Transition, ruled by the Knight Westeros — Horse (depicted armored) Elsewhere — Elephant

Capricorn; Cardinal of Winter + Earth

under a New Moon; during the Day, ruled by the Mother Westeros — Trout (or any Fish)

Aquarius; Fixed of Winter + Air

under a New Moon; during the Night, ruled by the Smith Westeros — Wolf

Pisces; Mutable of Winter + Water

under a New Moon; during the Transition, ruled by the Maiden Westeros — Bear

the zodiac story

I was thinking something similar to the Chinese Zodiac? In that fable, TLDR the gods invite them to a party and they arrive in a certain order because of mystical shenanigans. Totally open to ideas and musing~

Just Notes

Because the three categories are based off the western zodiac, I would imagine that the Westeros animal versions would still have the personalty traits of the Western zodiac~ Feel free to add on, or offer polite suggestions, or other options for sorting the signs! Obvs, feel free to use this!

[spanishskulduggery]

Just discovered while talking to someone in Spanish that "Adiós" is more of a permanent goodbye, something you might say to someone you expect to never meet again, like a stranger. Instead, he said I should use "nos vemos" when speaking with people I know, which makes sense. I was wondering what other goodbyes I could use that aren't permanent? Obviously there's "hasta luego" and "hasta mañana."

I wouldn't go that far necessarily, but yes adiós can be used for people you don't expect to see for a long time (possibly never again like sayonara means in Japanese)

Literally, adiós is "go with God" which would have been a lot more impactful in the time of needing to journey days/weeks/months to meet some relatives, and possibly having to deal with war, disease, wild animals etc

A lot of Western langauges have something similar, even "goodbye" is "God be with you/ye"

Some people do use it for a permanent goodbye. Others use it for an indefinite but probably long period of goodbye

And some people just say adiós as a standard goodbye with no deeper meaning other than "bye"

Note: You can also say adiosito which I wouldn't necessarily recommend outside of friendly conversation since it can sound sarcastic; it's like "toodle-oo" but it's literally a little goodbye

Note 2: If you vehemently hate someone and you hope to never see them again, you can say hasta nunca which is like "see you never" and I think that's beautiful

-

Today people do use adiós just as "goodbye" though it can read as "we won't see each other for a while"

The more short-term is nos vemos "we will see each other"

Another variation is a direct object version rather than reflexive. You can say te veo pronto "I'll see you soon" for example, instead of nos vemos pronto "we will see each other soon", that sort of thing

-

There's also hasta pronto "see you soon", hasta la próxima "see you next time"

And a lot of people have adapted certain words into Spanish like bye/bai or chau/chao for goodbyes

chau/chao in particular comes from ciao and is super common especially in South America

Another common one I say is cuídate "take care of yourself" / cuídese for polite, cuídense for plural

Depending on context you can also say ¡Suerte! "Good luck!" (or ¡Buena suerte! or ¡Que tengas mucha suerte! "Hope you have lots of luck" or te deseo mucha suerte etc)....

Another common one I say is ¡Ánimo! which means something like "Chin up!" but literally it's "energy" or "cheer"; if you're saying ánimo with someone you're essentially saying ¡Aguanta! or ¡Resiste! which is like "Hang in there!" or trying to pep someone up, where animar is "to cheer someone on" so it's all related there

-

Also I know you said spoken but just in case, if you're signing off on a letter/email there are some basic phrases you can use:

saludos = (a generic kind of goodbye) [lit. "salutations" or "regards"] un cordial saludo = (something like "kind regards")

atentamente = "yours truly" / "sincerely" [lit. "attentively"]

estamos en contacto / estaremos en contacto = "we'll be in touch"

And if you're writing a friendly letter you can say abrazos or besos for "hugs" and "kisses" respectively; it's very common to say something like te mando un abrazo "I'm sending you a hug" or something like that

-

Also, if you're at a party or something, you can say something like ya me voy or me largo or something like "I'm heading out"

I tend to say something like hora de irme "time for me to go" because in my English-speaking brain saying me largo feels awkward like I'm storming out but I know that's not what that always means

Additionally you can say debo irme "I should go", something along those lines is pretty standard

-

If you're being funny, I think me piro vampiro is somewhat used in Spain (but maybe not so much now)... it's just there for the rhyme. Literally "I'm out, vampire" or "I'm leaving, vampire" [pirarse is an idiomatic way of saying "to leave"]

For Latin America, more common would be chao/chau pescao which is literally "goodbye seafood/fish" since pescao is an informal spelling of pescado where the D can kind of be aspirated

You may also see/hear chao/chau bacalao "goodbye cod"

Again, all for the rhyme. The equivalent of "see you later alligator" in English. Everyone loves a rhyme

But obviously only do this among friends because it's informal and a bit childish

[stalkedbytrains]

“Cheryl? Where is the file for the next appointment? I can’t find it anywhere.”

“It’s the folder with the green tab,” Cheryl called from her desk at the front of the tiny office.

There was the sound of many papers shuffling around and finally an “aha!”

“The Rainbow Snake?” Came the voice from the office. Cheryl’s boss often read out loud when they were studying a client. Just a weird quirk of theirs. “Australian Aboriginal Deity. Oh I do remember them. We were at a party together… 2,000 years ago give or take. I don’t think they’ll remember me, ah well thems the breaks. Let’s see… hmm… I can see that this is going to be a problem Cheryl. Damn colonialists. I wish we could make the British gods fade away. Fucking King Arthur deserves to be relegated to the dust bin. I can tell that we’re going to need some deep cuts on this one. Start making a list of Australians we can contact, I have a feeling.”

Cheryl did as she was told. Her boss was almost always right about these things. She knew what the gods wanted before they even got here.

Several minutes later there was a knock at the office door. Cheryl got up to open it and invited in the dark skinned person and the beautiful snake they wore like jewelry but that might have only been because the snake itself was a living work of art. Like living breathing stained glass.

As Cheryl escorted the Rainbow Snake in, her boss came out and bowed deeply to their guest.

The chipper woman had tied back her full brown hair and smiled widely at the Snake and their human escort.

“A pleasure to meet you again,” the boss said, “it’s been many centuries but I am glad to see you once more. Please come in to my office. Would you care for any refreshments?”

After settling and getting water for the Rainbow Snake, Cheryl sat back down outside the office and listened to the pitch. She never got tired of listening to it.

“How can I help you?” Her boss asked.

“We heard that you can help us gods. Stop us from fading. We need faith. We need followers. The people are dying, the language is dying,” said a dual voice. The voice from the snake, and the voice from the human.

“We can do that. Sort of. I am sorry to say that it’s not a direct thing. I don’t just snap my fingers and make you some new believers. Human beings a wonderful little creatures. They crave us. They need us even if they don’t believe in us anymore. They want our stories and our myths. And that is what I provide. Stories.”

“How does that help us?”

“Do you know how down bad the Norse were? The Christian’s basically destroyed their religion, all we know of it is this bastard version of what was left after the Jesus freaks invaded. But then the comics happened. The Mighty Thor! And don’t get me started on Neil Gaiman and his Sandman and American Gods stories. I send that man a fruit basket every year. I love him. Have you seen how well the Norse pantheon is doing? Loki has seventeen penthouses, and more belief than he knows what to do with.”

“Bah. Western religion. White religion.”

“You are right. I am sorry that was a poor example. Perhaps I should have started with Māui and how well he’s doing with that Disney film Moana. I set that up.”

“You did all of that?”

“Well. Not directly. You know how us gods work. I gave some inspiration here and there. Got a writer to have an idea. Got a director and a bunch of executives to see the bigger picture and how it could be a hit. They did the rest themselves. Like I said, whether or not they know it, humans want us.”

“You can make me a hit movie?”

“Or a TV show or a video game. Those are hard though. Movies are kind of easy now a days, TV is having a resurgence now but you run the risk of cancelation and things like that, video games can be hit or miss honestly. Only the Greeks and Norse really pulled that one off and hoo let me tell you they paid for that one. Great games but still. I don’t want to look at those God of War games ever again. Books are easy. Worked really well for the Greeks and some of the Egyptians. Rick Riordan does great stuff. It all depends on what you want.”

“I can have anything?”

“Sure. Internet stories are easy. Quick and cheap but you are really gambling with the payoff. Could be either a total wash or go viral. Not something I can really recommend but if you need something now it can be done. Movies or tv can be great but there are also risks. It might be two or three years before you see anything.”

“Do I get to choose who does the work?”

“A little. I can influence certain people but sometimes the best person for the job is some down on his luck writer in a hovel in LA. Sometimes it’s Neil. But Neil is expensive.”

“I want a movie, I want it to be written by one of my people.”

“I can do that. But the problem is that reach might be very tiny. There are plenty of Aboriginal writers, I’m sure some can even be extremely talented, but something big and grand and bringing in all the faith and worship and stories you may way may be limited. If you want the Disney treatment you have to give up a whole lot of control.”

“No. I want it to be of the people.”

“Very well. Now, I can influence and give inspiration all over. I can even get this in the right people’s hands. But it is always a crap shoot. All I need to do is channel some of your power into the right person when I find it. Then creativity takes over, they do their work, I nudge some agents and companies their way and if we’re lucky you see some return on investment in a couple of years.”

“What do you get out of this process?”

“My dear, I’m the Muse. I feed off the creativity. These artists come to me most of the time. I just set them up with gods who need a little faith. And six points on the back end. I have a lot of alimony to pay.”