#some people x to cope
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secretmellowblog · 20 days ago
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Hugo’s descriptions of the sea in Les Miserables— especially in the chapter “Billows and Shadows,” which compares Jean Valjean’s oppression to the suffering a sailor who falls overboard in the middle of the ocean — are so capital r Romanticism. It’s fascinating to see the similarities between Hugo’s Romantic literature and the work of Romantic seascape painters...like it's amazing that Hugo managed to write in the way those paintings Look.
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The most significant comparison here is Gericault’s “Raft of the Medusa,” which is Thee iconic Romantic painting of a shipwreck— depicting the historical moment when the stranded sailors of the Medusa desperately tried to signal a distant ship that did not notice them. (This painting is also massive.)
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And, Hugo’s use of a dramatic Sublime ocean imagery to symbolize greater inner turmoil is also very “Wanderer above the Sea of Fog,” although this painting does not depict a literal ocean.
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Finally, I love to compare Hugo descriptions of the sea to the work of the Romantic Painter Ivan Aivazovsky, who primarily painted seascapes:
The wind blows in gusts; all the foam overwhelms him. He raises his eyes and beholds only the lividness of the clouds.
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He witnesses, amid his death-pangs, the immense madness of the sea.
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He is tortured by this madness; he hears noises strange to man, which seem to come from beyond the limits of the earth, and from one knows not what frightful region beyond.
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There are birds in the clouds, just as there are angels above human distresses; but what can they do for him? They sing and fly and float, and he, he rattles in the death agony.
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He feels himself buried in those two infinities, the ocean and the sky, at one and the same time: the one is a tomb; the other is a shroud.
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theoreticalfishsticks · 15 days ago
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I love all of the Primarch children content people make, especially the discussions about how potentially horrific the pregnancy would be for the baseline mother, and I wanted add my own little spin on it. So here's the pitch:
What if they weren't perfect? What if, instead of superhuman demigods like their father - or even a normal, healthy baseline like their mother - the Primarch’s child is a weak and sickly little thing; the natural gestation process having been unable to properly compensate for the extraordinary weirdness that is Primarch genes?
'Cause, they were made in a lab, right? With each gene painstakingly implemented and worked to compensate for oneanother in order to create a viable being. So, what if without outside intervention their genes just can't healthily gel with a baseline's?
So, what the couple had thought was the baby sapping their mother of her vital nutrients to fuel a Primarch's level of growth and strength was actually their baby fighting tooth and nail to develope at all. And even after having taken such a steep toll on their mother's health, the child still comes out small and underdeveloped, barely clinging to life.
That's it, that's the idea. Primarchs with chronically ill and disabled children because of their fucked up genes. Send tweet.
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fbfh · 8 months ago
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just woke up from a baby dream and I'm a sobbing wreck :) anyway Logan Huntzberger doesn't expect much from his future besides monetary success, partying, and a lot lot lot of sex. he definitley doesn't expect to look up one day and realize he's sharing a home, a life with someone. not only that, but he's the one that instigated it. he told you in college he didn't like you being around other guys. he stopped caring about the girls that he would go between, because now he just seems to care about you. everything else falls to the sidelines. so he comes back to his big fancy house after an important business meeting on the golf course, and he sees you there. some old sitcom is marathoning on tv, and you're wrapped up in fluffy blankets, hair up and out of your face. you look so cozy, so comfortable. you keep adjusting the blankets, fussing with them as you hum softly. he walks closer, overcome with a feeling of love and swelling pride and... paternal instinct he's never felt. your son Henry, just a month or two old is bundled on your arms. you look up at Logan and smile so warmly he could cry just from the look on your face when you see him.
"hi," you breathe softly. Henry's settled down, so you don't want to rile him up too much, but he's not all the way asleep.
"hey ace," he breaths, sitting next to you. he wraps you in his arms and kisses you, meeting forgotten as you both admire you baby boy together. you rub his tummy gently, soothingly, and Logan smooths his hair. it's short and fuzzy, and a little prickly. it makes him laugh softly. Henry is wearing the white and blue onesie Honor got for him at the baby shower. he makes a mental note to take some pictures to send her of him wearing it. the soft fabric of his polo shirt and the smell of his cologne mixed with the distinct remnants of golf course air is so comforting. he watches you admire your son, trace the shape of his cute little nose, copy the faces he makes, babble little noises at him. he watches you smooth his hair and help him get comfortable in your arms, watches you place your finger in his hand so he can hold onto it with that surprisingly strong baby death grip. Henry wiggles around, getting comfortable in your arms, and you kiss his forehead again. once you're sure that he's settled, not too warm and not too cold, comfortable and lying safely, you can finally relax. you rest your head on Logan's shoulder, closing your eyes and finally letting yourself relax and rest a little. you take in a big deep breath of his masculine scent, somehow both spicy and refreshing, and sigh. you're content. you're more than content, he realizes. you're happy. Logan... made you happy. he found out what you wanted and built you a life you want, a life he wants. it hits him like a ton of bricks in one overwhelming, amazing moment, and he soaks in the feeling, watching the way your sleeping babys face and yours mirror each other.
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borgialucrezia · 6 months ago
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alright i've gotta say that i'm genuinely so obsessed with people feeling collective panic and threatened by the idea of juan being in love with lucrezia (mind you, it's just one-sided) even when everything about his arc on the show makes it very clear. and it always happens every time i post about lucrezia/juan lmao
anyway for instance, juan choosing a wife that resembles her, his aggressive overprotectiveness towards her, how furious he was over paolo because, unlike cesare who knew who paolo was to lucrezia, juan never knew he was lucrezia's solace but instead saw him as someone trying to have his way with his sister and cause her a scandal, (newsflash: one of juan's character aspects is that he's the black sheep of the family and always being excluded from everything), and he thought he genuinely did something to protect her honor. and how her attempt to kill him to avenge paolo broke him entirely in different ways (in the sense that he realized he hurt her and that she hates him for killing paolo), yet he tried to reconcile with her because he doesn't want to lose her affection and respect, and after being rejected again by someone he loves deeply made him lose his mind which caused him to hurt her back.
seeing people downplay his feelings and affection towards her simply because they can't stand his character and don't even want to understand him while desperately wanting cesare to be the pinnacle of almost everything just screams of copium and an inferiority complex and this only gives in to how interesting and compelling juan's character and his potential is when they could've simply just enjoy how tragic these three siblings are and how juan being trapped in a position to protect the family with massive expectations set him in opposition of his siblings and his ways of not knowing how to react caused them all to misunderstand each other and made them forever disconnected.
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kidsomeday · 5 months ago
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Summary:
“It’s worse than that,” Chuuya said. “He hasn’t gone grocery shopping in two weeks.”
“Well sometimes we all lose track of time-”
“He hasn’t needed to go grocery shopping in two weeks,” Akutagawa cut in.
Dazai took a moment to process that.
“Fuck,” was his conclusion.
Atsushi and Dazai both struggle with their inner demons, but at least they're not alone.
(Elsewhere, he thinks he might begin to understand.) Written for Dazatsu Week Day 4 (belated) (This fic deals with eating disorders and self harm. Mind the tags and take care of yourself.)
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kunikidas-lost-glasses · 1 year ago
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Nikolai saving Fyodor - Fyolai Drabble
HEAVY SPOILERS FOR BSD SEASON 5 AND ESPECIALLY FOR BSD SEASON 5 EPISODE 11 UNDERNEATH
Nikolai didn't gave Dazai and Fyodor poison in this. There was some other stuff in the injections but no poison. He just wanted to make the game more interesting and funky/entertaining.
Important to note: This drabble is connected to my BSD Fix-It AU with the only change being the circumstances under which Nikolai saved Fyodor and the reason why Dazai told Atsushi to write down that Fyodor would lose his ability.
It's not needed to necessarily read my other post in order to understand this post.
It's only important to know that the ADA managed to obtain the page and that Dazai told Atsushi to write on it that Fyodor would lose his ability. He knew about the consequences it would have and while he hoped that Fyodor was gone for good, he wanted to make sure that if he would really somehow manage to come back, he wouldn't try to start a war again, not trusting him at all.
This AU works with the theory that Fyodor is highly influenced by his ability.
TWs (PLEASE take them seriously): Mentions and descriptions of blood (a lot of blood), descriptions of injuries, panic, crying (a lot of crying), medical procedures, descriptions of being in pain, mentions of fever, mentions of getting sick, mentions of the medical procedure of stitching up/suturing wounds, descriptions of treating wounds, descriptions of struggling with loosing the ability to use one hand, descriptions/mentions of utterly neglecting oneself, slightly implied depersonalization/derealization, slight mention of feeling numb, mentions of death, mentions of being heavily influenced by something, short slight mention of one of Nikolai's graphic crimes (they were mentioned when the ADA took his case), mention of scars
Maybe a bit ooc. (I understand the characters I swear. I just enjoy writing stuff which is a tiny bit ooc to allow more fluff to happen. However I tried to make it not extremely ooc though.)
(I did bend the rules of legitimacy/reality a bit in regard to treating the injuries in order to make this possible as well as a bit more easier to write.)
It's all hurt/comfort tho and it does have a lot of fluff towards the end. I promise.
Word count: 6341 words in total
He didn't know what came over him but before the helicopter crashed into the tower of the prison, Nikolai used his ability to drag Fyodor into one of his portals.
Dazai and Chuuya didn't notice him using his ability.
As soon as Chuuya and Dazai left, entering the prison one more time in order to get Sigma out of there, hoping that he would be still alive, Nikolai hectically opened up a portal himself and used it to rush into one of his many hideouts in which he had teleported Fyodor
Nikolai had never felt so glad about all the different little hideouts he had everywhere where Fyodor would be in case he needed him for a plan.
Searching a hotel room where he could try to save the Russian would become quite difficult and bringing him to a hospital while both of them were wanted criminals (one of them on the run and one of them officially pronounced dead to the public) wasn't something he could do.
Nikolai wasn't thinking clearly anymore when he arrived in the shabby little house which he called his hideout and which he had purchased under one of his many many fake identities.
In fact, he wasn't really thinking at all anymore. At least not what he would normally think.
He always expected that if he would ever see Fyodor dying, he would be filled with a sense of relief, a happy and freeing feeling, knowing that he finally reached his goal and became free.
However now this wasn't the case at all.
The only things he felt were panic and some kind of denial.
He couldn't believe what had just happened. In one minute he was chatting with Fyodor who was sitting well and alive in the helicopter, his mind already filled with excitement, imaging their upcoming new game which would have something just between them and the next minute Fyodor had been stabbed in the stomach with a metal bar which was pinning him in place, his white prison suit was covered in red, thoroughly soaked with his own blood while his body was shaking and his voice was filled with pain.
Never once had Nikolai seen Fyodor in this much pain, never once had he seen the emotions of his dear friend written so clearly and openly all over his face and not once had he himself felt so awful before. Not once has he felt such fear while his own life wasn't in danger at all.
He had felt utter sadness and heartbreak before, yes. But not such a nearly hysterical panic.
It was deep, painful sadness which ran through his veins, squeezing his heart together when he had noticed that the eyes of his childhood friend with whom he had lived together on the streets and with whom he fell in love became more hazy, losing all the light in it and when his tiredness and mature character which came from all the trauma he already had to go through since a young age slowly turned into a harsh cold personality.
Nikolai could do nothing when Fyodor's ability started to take over his friend more and more as they grew older, influencing his mind and with that his personality as well as his actions thoroughly, seemingly merging Fyodor Crime and Punishment until Fyodor slowly became a part of his ability himself. Cold, cruel and harsh.
He could only watch as Fyodor started to act and when Punishment would take over completely for short periods of time. He was unable to do anything, knowing that the ability itself was just as intelligent as the one who wielded it.
Still, he knew exactly when Fyodor, even though his mind was still heavily influenced, was coming through more and still he knew exactly that the goal was to get rid of all ability users and with that all abilities came from his Fyodor.
Surprisingly, he couldn't bring himself to love Fyodor any less, despite his more cold and cruel personality.
The sadness however, still ran deep.
But he had never felt any panic and fear like this. Not when his own life wasn't in danger.
He had expected that the moment he would see Fyodor dying would bring him joy but the expected joy was a feeling of panic and denial which clouded all his mind and made it hard to think straight and instead of feeling a sense of victory upon seeing Fyodor's face twisted in pain, he felt sick to the stomach when he saw him spitting out a concerning amount of blood, feeling like vomiting himself.
If he could think straight, he would have possibly wondered why his mind wasn't acting up, refusing to try to treat his friend in order to reach his goal but now, he only could think about saving his friend, hoping that it wasn't too late.
He rushed into the bedroom in which he had placed Fyodor on the little bed, nearly tripping twice on his way due to running so fastly through the hallways.
Upon finally reaching the bedroom, seeing his friend, he felt his heart sink.
By now, Fyodor had fully passed out, his body lying limp on the bed. His face was covered in cold sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead and the now visible large stab wound was bleeding like crazy.
If Nikolai wouldn't have been used to seeing very disturbing things, he would have probably vomited but even now he still felt incredibly sick, not due to the injury but from seeing his dear friend like this.
For a short moment, he stood next to the bed like frozen before quickly bending down to check if Fyodor was still breathing and if he still had a pulse.
He knew that the chances were slim and he nearly didn't dare to check but he had to.
Upon feeling a faint pulse and upon feeling Fyodor breathing even though it were small and uneven breaths which he took, he felt like a giant weight got lifted off his heart, which felt like it was close to shattering in thousands of pieces, breaking beyond repair anyways.
However, he still couldn't feel real relief until he knew that Fyodor was in a stable shape again.
He knew that he had a lot to do now, knowing that he was still alive but he had barely any time due to Fyodor bleeding out at a rapid speed from his stab wound but also from his injured hand and the wound where Sigma had shot him.
Trying to frantically stop the bleeding through applying pressure to the wound, Nikolai remembered the trick he did with Sigma when the latter was bleeding out from where he was shot.
Sigma's injury had been way smaller, he had lost much less blood and he wasn't in such a bad shape as Fyodor at all but he knew that doing this trick once again, would at least give him some more time.
Carefully, he pushed Fyodor into his portal before looping him through the two portals which he had opened up, slowly letting some blood flow back into his body.
This time, he was much more careful than he was with Sigma and it didn't bring him any kind of entertainment at all.
He also reduced the distance between the two portals to being as small as possible, not wanting to let Fyodor fall through the air longer than needed.
After being sure that Fyodor had more blood in his body again, he quickly lifted him back on the bed, using his ability once more to grab the box in which he stored all his medical supplies from the bathroom, not wanting to waste any time and not wanting to leave Fyodor's side.
As soon as he held the box in his hands, he placed it on the bed, opening it with shaky hands and grabbing one of scissors inside of it in order to cut open the prisoner suit in order to treat Fyodor.
After cutting the remaining parts of the upper half of the jumpsuit open, he grabbed a cloth from the bathroom with his ability, pressing it onto the wound, trying to stop the bleeding while trying not to worry about the fact that Fyodor didn't even flinched or made any pained noise upon Nikolai putting pressure on the large wound on his stomach.
Nikolai himself was only taking short hitched breaths anymore as he watched how the previously brightly colored cloth slowly got soaked in the blood of his dearest friend, turning more and more red with every passing second.
After some time, of trying to slow down the bleeding and after using the portal loop a couple of times more to give him more time, he finally had the bleeding a bit under control which meant that he now came to the part he feared the most.
Nikolai had treated many wounds before.
He had been the one to clean and stitch up Sigma's wound while they were in a hotel on the way to the prison.
He didn't really feel scared that day. He knew that he had already treated and stitched wounds of his own already so why shouldn't it work with Sigma's wound.
Sigma himself wasn't really scared either. He had been lying on the bed, looking like all the life had been sucked out of him, the realization that his casino was really gone and that all the people in it were dead had crashed down on him, shortly after their little conversation after he had woken up again after falling from the Sky Casino.
If anything, Nikolai had been more scared of Sigma's clearly upcoming breakdown which was brooding inside of him, even if he was still feeling numb at the moment.
Nikolai also hadn't been scared when he had treated his own wounds, stitching them up himself.
He had done it multiple times as a child living on the streets in the Ukraine until Fyodor joined him, insisting to treat Nikolai's wounds.
Hell, he had even skinned a person before and didn't feel scared. Numb yes. Like he was watching it happen in a movie theater, yes. But not scared.
However now his hands wouldn't stop shaking and his breathing became even more quicker and hitched but he knew that it was the only way to save Fyodor.
Noone else besides him would treat his wounds. They had nowhere else to go.
He hectically grabbed the little chair which was standing in the room, pulling it next to the bed, sitting down on it, removing his now bloody gloves, putting on some medical gloves which had been in the box as well, placing everything he needed to start treating the wound properly on a new cloth on the bed, taking a needle into his hand.
Taking a deep breath, he told himself quietly that he had to pull himself together now and that he had done this many times before but that his hands had to stop shaking now or else he would mess it up.
It was one of the few times Nikolai genuinely prayed.
Nikolai didn't know how long he treated Fyodor's wounds and his hand but it felt like hours.
He made use of all the medical knowledge he had from books and from Fyodor himself as well.
He had asked his friend a couple of times before about random medical stuff, simply because he wanted his friend's attention and because he had wanted to talk with him and he had never been so glad about the fact that he asked him about it and listened to him before.
After he finally dressed the wounds, putting multiple layers on them before wrapping them all up in clean white bandages as well as after wrapping the hand up, he felt all the energy which mainly came from his panic as well as from his sheer willpower and his wish to save his friends life fade out of his body, his body practically slumping together on the chair as he still somewhat propped himself up, elbows on the bed and his head leaning against his hands.
The silence around him felt both defening and calming as he only now realized how quiet it was.
Only his own and Fyodor's hitched breathing were the only noises in the room.
While taking a couple deep breaths, he realized that he really did it, that Fyodor's life was (for now) pretty much saved but also realized what he just did, that he saved him instead of killing him, realizing that Sigma was right when he once told him that Nikolai was unable to kill Fyodor, that he needed him and was still attached to him too much to kill him off and that he still loved him more than anything but also, upon him finally coming out of his panicked state, tears started to form in Nikolai's eyes and he was by no means able to stop them from falling down his cheeks.
He was too tired and felt too much to even think about stopping them and like that, Nikolai sat next to the bed on which Fyodor who now looked like was sleeping if one ignored the sweat on his face, the hitched breathing and the thick bandages, was lying, crying more than he ever cried before.
He cried for more than an hour, his mind a mess and everything from the past weeks crashing down on him.
Eventually he didn't even knew if he cried because of the relief after saving Fyodor or because he was so mad at himself or maybe because he realized how deeply wrong he was or maybe because he felt so torn apart but he still wouldn't stop crying. The tears continued falling down his face and he felt like he would never stop crying.
Eventually he did though.
After the crying finally quieted down, he felt more worn-out and even more like all his energy and life got sucked out of him.
Everything hurted, he had a pounding headache and light hurted in his now swollen red eyes while his face felt like it was about to explode in general.
Slowly sitting up again, slumping against the backlean of the creaking chair, he let his gaze wander over Fyodor and the bed.
There was blood everywhere on the bed and on his medical supplies, the room was a mess, used cloths, cotton balls and tissues were lying around everywhere, his own purple now reddish stained gloves were lying next to the bed and Fyodor somehow still looked breathtakingly beautiful.
Nikolai just hoped that Fyodor would handle it well, especially because of his anemia or else he would have to steal some blood transfusions from the nearest hospital.
It would be no problem. He knew how to do it, he knew Fyodor's blood type for whatever reason he couldn't recall anymore by now and after what he had just done, a blood transfusion was nothing compared to it but he knew all the risks which came with one and it was really something which he had never done before unlike treating a wound (even though he has never treated such a large and drastical wound before and even though he had usually never saved lives before) so it was really something he only wanted to do if there was no other way anymore.
Besides this he wanted to draw as less police attention to his surroundings as possible so he wanted to refrain from committing any crime but if he had to do it for Fyodor he would do it without having to think about it twice.
He looked with tired and nearly empty eyes at the scene before him for quite some time before he scratched together all the willpower and energy he had left in his body to drag himself out of his chair in order to clean up a bit.
He cleaned the room and the bed a bit up, carefully cleansed all his medical supplies if he would need them again in case of an emergency and washed his hands which were stained with blood from when he tried to stop the bleeding earlier.
Afterwards, he fully got Fyodor out of his prison clothes and dressed him into some lose pyjama pants of his own.
They were way too big and way too long for him but he didn't wanted to let him lie there in either a torn apart bloody prison jumpsuit or just in his underwear.
He also put him some of his warmest socks on, not wanting to let the other freeze before placing multiple blankets on top of him.
He didn't wanted to put on a shirt on him since he needed to frequently change his bandages and also in case he quickly had to do something on the wound again but he also didn't wanted to let Fyodor freeze or get sick on top of all so he gathered all the blankets he had lying around or which he had stored in his portals, placing them on top of Fyodor.
He also put his hand on a spare pillow so that it would lay a bit higher, knowing that it would help for a better blood flow but also reducing the risk of Fyodor accidentally touching it in case he would start to move. And Nikolai wanted so badly that he would start moving soon.
Seeing Fyodor's body lie there so limp, made his heart sink each and every time he looked at him again.
His hand was beyond fixing. Nikolai did his best but it was so injured that he probably only could move it and the fingers a little bit.
It still worked but he most likely could never use it as much as before.
After everything was done, Nikolai sat on his chair next to Fyodor for the next days, holding his injured hand gently, looking at him, monitoring his breathing, checking his overall shape and looking out for him him general without a break.
Only when he felt close to passing out he would force himself to get up to drink something and to nibble on a slice of bread or whatever random "snack" he would find but he couldn't really eat anything. He didn't want to eat anything.
The only thing he wanted was Fyodor to wake up. To look at him again with those hypnotizing purple eyes of his in which he could get lost ever since they met and to speak to him again.
He would even be fine with Fyodor telling him that he would kill him. He just wanted him to wake up and to hear his soothing deep voice with the heavy Russian accent which he loved so much.
Just like when he cleaned the room and dressed Fyodor, watching over him he felt like in some kind of trance. Everything just passed by. He was caught up in his thoughts, thinking about Fyodor, about Punishment, about what happened, about his childhood, about their shared childhood, about his ideology, about freedom and his love.
He never noticed when he fell asleep. Sleeping and being awake kind of blurred together.
Often he would dream about Fyodor and about them as children on the streets. How he once took care of Fyodor in another cold and cruel winter when he got sick, shoplifting medicine and holding the shivering Fyodor in his arms as he sat on the ground the empty side alley in which they always slept, his panic rising the higher Fyodor's fever got and about how he wrapped his own coat about Fyodor in a desperate attempt to keep him warm and shield him from the cold which surrounded them even if that meant that he would freeze himself. As long as he could help Fyodor he was happy.
He dreamt about how he prayed while Fyodor's fever was the highest it had ever been and he dreamt about how he cried in happiness when Fyodor started to eat, talk and walk around again, finally feeling better.
He dreamt about them dancing around. He dreamt about the prison about the helicopter he dreamed over and over about Fyodor's pained expression but he also dreamed about how they would sometimes lie together in the bed of Fyodor's apartment at night, holding each other after Nikolai came over to Fyodor's place once again after having a nightmare, Nikolai listening to Fyodor's steady heartbeat, neither of them saying a word, only hugging each other, knowing that there will never happen more between them than this. A faint reminder of how close they once were as teens trying to survive.
He dreamt of purple eyes, cold but gentle and soft bony hands, black hair and the sound of a feather quill scratching over paper as well as flickering screens with the purple symbol of the rats.
He dreamt about birds and freedom.
The days would pass like this, Nikolai never leaving Fyodor's side for longer than a couple of minutes until one day after nearly a whole week, Fyodor's body tensed up, his face twisting in pain for a second, his breathing becoming quicker before he managed to open his eyes a bit, blinking a couple of times before his eyes fully focused on his surroundings.
Nikolai stared at him with wide eyes, not really daring to believe that what he was seeing was real and not a dream.
Upon gaining more and more consciousness, Fyodor sucked in a sharp breath due to all the pain he felt but his mind was still too clouded to really register where the pain was coming from.
He didn't recognize his surroundings so he moved his head a bit to look around but seeing who was sitting next to him wasn't something he would have expected at all.
Upon seeing Nikolai sitting next to him, staring at him with wide eyes, a mixture of happiness, relief and disbelief written all over his face, Fyodor's own eyes widenth.
He was the first one to break the silence between them, Nikolai seemingly not daring to do anything, still not really believing what was happening.
It took him a lot of energy but he managed to say Nikolai's name, his voice being awfully hoarse and sounding fragile and weak.
As soon as Nikolai heard Fyodor call out his name, he left his frozen state and tears welled up in his eyes.
Fyodor looked at him in shock upon seeing the other tear up, still not really being able to fully wrap his head around what happened and that he was alive but despite his mind being all messy, he tried to squeeze the other's hand out of reflex, only to realize that he couldn't really move his hand before a piecing pain shot through his body making him flinch hard, causing another wave of pain to roll through his whole body this time and not only through his arm.
After the pain got a bit less again, he finally realized that his stomach and his shoulder were covered in thick heavy bandages which were neatly wrapped around him as well that wasn't wearing any prison clothes anymore.
The memories of what happened before he passed out came back as well and while he had been so sure that that was it, he was now lying here and since he could tell that this wasn't any official hospital or an infirmary at the prison he knew exactly who brought him here and who saved him.
Upon realizing all of this, he looked at all the blankets covering him before looking back at Nikolai with such a soft yet pained gaze.
It was then when he saw how awful Nikolai looked. He had lost a lot of weight, there were deep dark shadows under his eyes, he still wore his clown costume, just the hat, the card covering his eye and his gloves were missing but it looked messy and there were blood stains all over it. However since Nikolai didn't seemed to be injuried at all, Fyodor could tell that it was all his own blood which was still all over Nikolai's clothes, showing him that he hadn't even changed after cleaning up, hurrying next to his side again to stay with him.
His white hair was a mess as well and looked like it hasn't been combed since days. Even his braid which was usually done all neatly and accurate was a mess, strands of hair being out of the braid here and there and the bow at the end of the braid seemingly trying it's best to hold the last remains of the once braided hair together.
Nikolai was pale and looked more worn-out and tired than Fyodor had ever seen him and to his surprise, he felt his heart sink upon seeing his friend like this.
He wanted to say something, asking Nikolai what he had done but before he could say anything, Nikolai cried out that he hated him, tears starting to fall down.
Fyodor was caught off guard at first before a soft smile spread across his lips and he managed to say "Thank you Koyla" before he tensed up again, another wave of pain making his body feel like it was getting stabbed in the stomach all over again.
Nikolai stared at him in disbelief before gently lifting Fyodor's bandaged hand to his own face, cradling it and holding it softly against his cheek, looking at Fyodor with a wobbly smile before breaking down crying once again, not letting go of Fyodor's hand.
Fyodor just looked at Nikolai and for once he did let himself feel how painfully in love he himself was with Nikolai.
Normally he tried to suppress it, denying himself any kind of love he felt towards the other but now he couldn't bring himself to even just try to do so.
He was glad that he woke up to Nikolai sitting next to.
He couldn't say anything to Nikolai as the latter cried, since the few things he said already took out all his energy so he just lied there, looking at the other with a small smile.
Eventually Nikolai pulled himself together again, carefully laying down Fyodor's hand on the pillow again, however not letting go of it before asking him a couple of things about how he was feeling which Fyodor answered with either nodding his head or shaking his head.
In the following days, Nikolai would continue to take care of Fyodor, gently propping him up against the headboard of the bed, feeding him soup and other more nurturing dishes he would cook for him as well as making him drink a lot of water and tea.
He also made him regularly take iron supplements and fed him sweets every now and then to help his body to recover from the blood loss.
They didn't talk much. Fyodor couldn't talk much anyways but it was off-putting to see Nikolai so quiet and drowned in thoughts.
Fyodor knew that he had to leave him alone with his thoughts now and that he himself had to sort this battle between his humanity and his ideology out for himself.
Nikolai would change his bandages and the covers of the blankets regularly and kept a close eye on the wounds.
The wound were Sigma shot Fyodor in his shoulder healed good and quickly but the wounds on his hand and especially the large stab wound were healing slowly but luckily, neither of them showed any signs of an infection.
Fyodor did his best to appear put together when Nikolai was changing the bandages but sometimes he couldn't prevent himself for making pained noises, flinching hard or tensing up, hashly sucking in the air.
Nikolai never made any comments on it but he often looked at him with a worried and apologetic expression.
He hated feeling so weak and vulnerable and he was horrified of Punishment lashing out an Nikolai whenever he was in a lot of pain since it tended to lash out when Fyodor felt threatened or in pain so he was often lying there utterly exhausted after Nikolai exchanged the bandages, partly from the pain but mostly from trying to keep Punishment at bay in his weakened state.
He felt Punishment rage inside of him every single day and he found himself having the urge to get revenge on Dazai and Chuuya and the whole ADA.
However one day, just when his body was in a good enough shape for him to slowly start to get up again he felt the harsh feeling of Punishment inside of him as well as the influence it had on him disappear completely in just one moment.
It didn't fade away slowly, it was like someone had just flicked off a light switch and turned it off.
Suddenly he regained his whole consciousness again, his mind which always was a bit messy and foggy due to Punishment's influence suddenly feeling completely normal again.
He didn't really know what happened but the disappearing of his ability made unable to leave his bed even more again.
All the memories of what happened crashed down on him besides of parts where his ability had taken over completely, and the guilt was eating him up alive.
In addition to that, he had to fully readjust to having his full consciousness back.
Mostly however, he had to wrap his head around the fact that he was only Fyodor now. Not Crime, not Punishment, only Fyodor.
He felt the rage and the twisted thoughts disappear and it made him both utterly relieved and scared.
It was like a part of him got taken away but he didn't felt less whole now. If anything, he felt like himself again despite the guilt eating him up alive and it confused him more than anything.
Nikolai was there for him the whole time. He wouldn't leave his side before and he wouldn't leave his side now.
When he had entered to room, seeing that Fyodor stared at him in disbelief and fear, his eyes not being hazy anymore and lacking all the coldness but now being filled with light again, Nikolai would have nearly dropped everything he had been holding at that moment out of disbelief and shock himself.
He immediately recognized those eyes and at first, he didn't dare to believe that for whatever reason, Punishment was gone for good now.
Nikolai himself, was having a battle with his mind over all this time and slowly he let himself believe that he could be together with Fyodor while being free at the same time.
Nikolai knew by now that Fyodor returned his feelings and he knew that he would wait for him until he was ready and Fyodor did wait.
He waited until they were both ready to finally put into words what they were feeling all those times before, taking the step to finally get together.
Fyodor recovered slowly but aside from the time after losing his ability where he got worse, he was recovering steadily.
Nikolai, who had put his clown attire away by now and who slowly started to eat more again as well as started to somewhat take a bit care of himself again due to Fyodor refusing to eat until Nikolai ate something himself, helped him the whole time.
He continued to feed him, he changed the bandages, made sure that bed and room were clean, after Fyodor was able to sit up again for a few minutes without being in too much pain he would gently wash him every day, he brushed his hair making sure that it wouldn't become matted, he changed his clothes regularly and when the time came he helped him to slowly sit up without leaning against the headboard for support again, he helped him to move around in his bed to scoot over to the edge of the bed, sitting on it and placing his feet on the floor again for the first time since weeks if not months and eventually he helped him to stand up again, taking his first few wobbly steps again.
The first time standing up again was nerve wracking for both of them.
It had been painful to sit up on his own with only a bit support but it was much more manageable than when he first tried to sit up.
He couldn't stand lying in bed any longer.
Nikolai had been looking at him, his eyes filled with worry while he was firmly holding Fyodor's healthy hand with one, and his forearm of the other arm with his other hand.
After getting used to the feeling of sitting up and after the first row of pain got lesser again, Fyodor looked at Nikolai and nodded, him being as tensed up as the other himself, before using all his energy to drag himself out of his bed and up on his feet with Nikolai's help.
His weakened legs were shaky and wobbly and he immediately felt like passing out, his anemia making him see black and flimmering colors for a second but before he could fall, he felt Nikolai wrapping one of his arms around him, careful not to touch the wound on his stomach, steadily holding him and preventing him from falling, letting him slump against him until he was able to see something again a few seconds later.
His legs were shaking, his breathing became faster and he was clinging with his healthy hand to Nikolai as if his life would depend on him but he felt more genuinely happy than he felt since a long time, finally being able to stand again.
However, he quickly had to lie back down again upon the pain and the exhaustion becoming too much, making him feel dizzy and like his legs would give out on him any moment.
Nikolai himself had a big smile and teary eyes as he told Fyodor that he did great, feeling relieved due to seeing how well Fyodor was recovering and that he would be able to walk at least short lengths again being written all over his face.
He also helped him to slowly move his hand more again but just as he had suspected, Fyodor couldn't really move or do anything with his hand anymore.
Teaching himself how to write and how to handle a weapon with his non dominant hand wasn't that difficult for Fyodor but he did struggle with doing daily activities with mostly only one hand and he grieved after not being able to play the cello anymore.
Nikolai tried his best to cheer him up whenever he saw that Fyodor was getting frustrated again because of his hand or when he sensed that he became upset when listening to music including a cello again.
After getting up again for the first time, they would continue to train getting up and walking around again.
The first few times, Fyodor had to hold onto Nikolai and often wasn't able to take more than two or on good days three steps before his legs felt like they would give out again and before the pain coming from the large stab wound became too much again.
However after quite some time had passed, he was able to walk around more freely and without having to hold onto Nikolai as much again.
He was still shaky on his legs, walking quickly became exhausting and painful after a while but he got better and better.
It still took a very long time until he was able to fully get out of bed over nearly a whole day, to walk around and do things completely on his own but Nikolai was there for him the whole time and he continued to be there for him even when Fyodor had fully recovered just like Fyodor was always there for Nikolai when the other needed him.
When the large wound was finally so well healed that Nikolai could finally pull the stitches out, he did try his best not to tear up again, the process reminding him of how he was desperately trying to save his dearest's life but also showing him once again that he did manage to save him, reminding him of how far they came.
After they finally got together after Nikolai was ready and after they both were both in a much better state, both physically and mentally, Nikolai would often kiss Fyodor's injuried hand, holding it as gentle as possible if Fyodor either was upset because of it again or if the chronic pain which developed from the injury became worse again.
Fyodor would always have two large and messy looking scars and a fully scarred hand now but Nikolai didn't mind. He would always tell Fyodor that he looked beautiful, despite all the scars which the other hated so much and he would frequently kiss them whenever he got the opportunity to do so.
After Fyodor had fully recovered and was able to live more independently again, they moved out of the little shabby hideout to live a quiet life underground in a small but cozy house under fake identities and in a different country, far away from where everything went down.
Due to Punishment being gone, Fyodor had no desire to start another war or to get revenge on the ADA anymore.
He just wanted to get as far away from anything which reminded him of this time as it was possible.
He craved to start a new life together with Nikolai, far away from all the things which reminded him if the past.
They might still had a long road of recovery and redemption in front of them but they both felt happier than they've ever been and their relationship was a true and honest one, based on a deep and mutual understanding for each other and based on utter and deep running love which would never end.
If you read all of this, thank you so much! I love u <3
I hope you liked it!
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scarefox · 2 years ago
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This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.
Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.
He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.
I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.
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dirty-trash-mongrel · 1 year ago
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I don't hate or get annoyed by BiscuitBites/Nuzi as a ship, I just don't care much for most ships in general (besides PinkLemonade/Vizzy because personally I think their dynamic is really cute ok??) And I'm not irritated that Nuzi is becoming canon like a lot of people are complaining about, Murder Drones is not becoming a shipping-focused show because of this, this episode had probably the most horror and emotional scenes by far... I'm happy shipping wars will be over and I'm happy that people are voicing out their happiness that the ship is canon! Yippee! People are happy, everything is good, and I'm not irritated by that! What I do find irritating about some Nuzi shippers is that I'll have actual tears running down my face from reading a V memoriam post and then scroll down to see some people saying that they "didn't care V died that much and that they're glad that V is dead to completely set in stone Nuzi as a ship". Most of the main cast of characters were comfort characters for me and this is a shot in the heart because I loved V as a character. Even though I was kind of emotionally hurt by the last scene, I really do think a sacrifice was a good call by Liam. That won't stop me from being sad however. But PLEASE, I don't want to see people complaining about how everyone's upset over V's death and not putting enough focus on Nuzi confirmation (which both statements are super untrue, both get a respective amount of attention) Like I understand why some people wouldn't be super upset about the (presumably) V death, you can voice your own opinion and not be too emotionally affected by the death and I'm not judging you for that, but when I see people get to the point where they're judging and kind of shaming people for getting stressed or anxious or generally upset at a character death? It kind of kills me. Please stop beatboxing I'm crying on the floor Though a lot of Nuzi shippers I see aren't like this and I'm so happy about that, it's super nice to see that!!!! I've seen some of the most amazing works of this community come from Nuzi people and I still respect them so much because they're still people and part of this fandom even though I don't directly care much for the ship itself anymore, I'm not judging anyone based on their favorite robot pairings (UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE. A PROSHIPPER. ICK. OFF WITH YOU.) :)
#i really don't want to point out names on the people posting these things (also i completely forget because i tried to block out the posts)#i don't know if i'm the only one seeing them but i still hate it#crackships are funny though those fuel me so much#ooh and i think dizzy is fun i just prefer vizzy because DD x WD is fun imo#lizzy as a character is just.. top tier shipping material in my opinion#nuzi still is just meh for me#and i get why it's a comfort ship to many#i too shipped uzi for a short amount of time because i thought it was cute#but it's still one of the better ships and i see why liam wanted it to be canon#relationships with a lot of fluff can be comforting to some#i don't mean to offend anyone just i'm seeing a few of these and it's genuinely just kind of upset at this#LET ME COPE AND DON'T UNDERMINE THAT WAHHHH#but i really just get comfort from individual characters as an aro/ace and it really just hurts to see the disrespect of V's death#i don't know if this is even a hot take i'm just. :((((((((#AGAIN NOT GETTING UPSET AS NUZI SHIPPERS AS A WHOLE JUST I'VE SEEN POSTS THAT REALLY JUST KIND OF UPSET ME AND I'M SURE A FEW OTHERS AS WEL#im.#ranting#in tags.#guh.#I don't even know if I proofread this right I'm like too upset rn#murder drones#murder drones spoilers#dumpster bullshit#i'm not tagging ship tags because i really don't want to get involved in much drama#i really don't want any hate barrages on me in my asks or replies or dms about this#mongrel behavior
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ranvwoop · 1 year ago
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honestly I'm surprised that nintendo's old servers have stayed up as long as they have considering the incredibly bare-bones moderation (ie.NOT AT ALL) . however I'm sad that I just now am getting around to modding a DS :pensive: Here's hoping there are fanservers
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httpiastri · 1 year ago
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh đŸ˜© oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❀
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but
 eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
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lesbianraskolnikov · 2 years ago
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i like how i can still be bewildered by cruelty online in some cases like yeah there’s anonymity here people can use it to be a bully with near 0 repercussions
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tinystarbites · 5 months ago
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accidents pt. II | Spencer Reid x fem!reader
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Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops pt.II The Reckoning /j, this is basically just 10k words of porn with feelings yikes
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst (still Spencer feeling he isn't good enough 😔), EMOTIONSSS, Spencer STILL loves you so much, he gets a hug, and so much more!, talk about sex, detailed asking for CONSENT (be safe people), sex (piv), some frottage, uhhh what else, dirty talk, some dom/sub understones (sub!Spencer ofc), little bit allusion to subspace, Spencer discovers so many kinks in this awww we're so proud of you bby (mentioned kinks: praise kink, squint of liking being embarrassed, tiiny bit of a voyeristic thing), also I made him a virgin whoops so virgin!Spencer, proofread but prolly not perfect lol. Tell me if I'm missing any tags I am so tired
(also, Spencer will be bisexual in all of my Spencer fics because I am not a coward like the writers were and I will honour Spencer the way he was intended to)
HERE you can read pt. I, I do recommend it to have context and all but do whatever you want lmao I'm not your mother anyway have fun being completely wrecked like I was while writing this!! also thanks so so MUCH for 400 followers and almost 2k likes on the first part, you guys are the best and I hope you enjoy this fic as a thanks!!<333
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.
His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-
It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-
“Spencer?”
He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-
“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-
He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –
“Okay, I’ll just
chill with that weird plant here.”
An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.
After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.
And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.
“Hi.”
You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.
You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.
“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”
Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.
“Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”
He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.
Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is
 a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.
The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.
“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”
“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”
You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.
“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-
“Is it because you saw my nudes?”
Spencer almost breaks his neck with how fast he whips his head down to look at you again. A strangled noise escapes him without permission and what. What.
“Because, that would actually explain so much, especially the way you’ve been acting and really, that’s probably on me because I’ve always been telling myself to put them behind a password block but I somehow always manage to forget that because apparently I have only one braincell left that’s stuck spinning on the deep-fried version of Funky Town and well, I guess I’m glad it was you that found them and not someone else and-“
“What? No, no, I didn’t- What- that’s not- what-“, Spencer cuts off your rambling with a horrified, screeched version of a protest because how- how could you have guessed what’s going on with just one try? Is Spencer so- so absolutely besotted with you that he’s so obvious? Spencer is so very confused and overwhelmed with whatever the hell is going on, he kind of misses the slight twitching of your mouth.
“Come on, Spencer. I said it’s fine and basically my own fault. Uh- well, actually
 sorry. Because, well, that’s probably not very work-appropriate
 I will pay for your therapy session, just send me the bill.”
Spencer thought he’d reached the limits of confusion seconds ago but apparently, he hadn’t. What. What are you even saying?
“Therapy sessions?”
You just- ignore him.
“Oh, also, please don’t tell Hotch? He’ll be pissed, despite me literally just doing hot-girl shit, y’know-“
Oh, Spencer cannot take it anymore.
He says your name and, “Stop, please, please, just-“
You snap your mouth shut, pulling your lips between your teeth and Spencer definitely doesn’t miss the way you have to force your mouth to stay still this time.
“Are you- is this a joke?”, Spencer asks, frazzled and desperate and so confused he just wants to bury his head under the duvet and never come out again. Because if you don’t actually know but- are just joking around, oh Spencer is overwhelmed, alright.
Your expression changes into something panicked then. “No, no, Spencer, sorry. I’m- sorry. Of course I’m not joking, I’m so sorry. It’s just a little bit too easy to tease you. Sorry.” You actually look apologetic now, lips downturned and frowning slightly.
“Not joking- so
 so, you know?”, there’s something big and anxious pressing inside of Spencer’s chest. The urge to hide away and never face daylight again intensifies tenfold. He’s flushing before he realizes, hands trembling and breathing a bit too fast to be considered normal. Oh god, you know, you actually know, you’re going to- you’re never going to speak with him again you are probably here to tell him how weird and- and-
You must’ve noticed the frenzy he is thinking himself into, because you reach out with one hand and gently nudge his thigh with one knuckle. “Spencer”, you say, voice serious and steady and not the slightest bit disgusted or harsh and it snaps him out of his anxiety spiral.
“I knew the second I walked back into that room after you basically fled the precinct. I am, really, genuinely, sorry for making you uncomfortable. Like, it wasn’t actually my intention for you to see them. And then, after I realized what
 I just wanted to wait and see what you’d do, if you came to talk to me or, well
”
You sigh, the hand that nudged him ruffling through your hair.
“I didn’t handle this situation very well. I’m really sorry. So
 “, you trail off, scrunching your nose in that adorable way of yours that makes Spencer want to kiss it until it scrunches even further because you’d laugh and try to fight him off.
“We can just- forget about this. Forget that it ever happened, or-“, you hesitate again.
Spencer feels suddenly breathless. Like he stands in front of a cliff face, seconds before taking the step to send himself careening towards something immeasurably great or devastatingly fatal.
“Or
?”, he breathes, voice small and unsure.
You meet his eyes again after what feels like hours. There’s something intense in them, burning, and it’s like an electric shock to Spencer’s system. He’d give anything for you to keep looking at him like that forever.
“Or”, your hand returns to his thigh, but this time you let your fingers travel along the shape of it and Spencer whimpers. The burning in your eyes intensifies and Spencer feels hot, suddenly, so hot he’s burning with it. “Or we can do something else.”
“Something else?”, Spencer basically croaks because his throat is so dry and it’s difficult for his body to function properly when you are touching him like that.
You hum in agreement. “Whatever you want. You can tell m-“
“You.”
You look a bit startled when he cuts you off with that one, desperate syllable. Startled but also endlessly amused and Spencer just- his mind is apparently turned off, what the-
You laugh quietly, and your eyes soften, and it does something to Spencer that leaves an ach-y feeling in his chest. Oh, he loves you so much he can’t take it.
“Sure. You can have me”, you say simply, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to admit, “Tell me what exactly you want, because I’d give you the world if you asked.”
And suddenly there’s hot pressure behind Spencer’s eyes, at the back of his throat. You’re just- just- amazing and so lovely and so kind to him, no one has ever said something like that to him, he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Spencer blinks up to the ceiling, desperately willing these stupid unwelcome tears away because crying about you treating him kindly is so on the bottom of the list of acting casual about this, so he rather feels than sees you sitting up next to him. Your hand slips from his legs and he feels the loss of your touch as if someone sucked the marrow from his bones. Before he can say something embarrassing like ‘please touch me again’ he feels your hand covering his. It fills him with a heady kind of courage.
“I want
”, Spencer starts, feeling entirely too uncomfortable with having to state his deepest and darkest desires. There’s the old familiar urge to start picking at his nails nagging at him, but you just interlace your fingers with his and start tracing random patterns into the skin there with your thumb. Spencer melts against you and tenses up at the same time because it’s just so- so nice. It feels so nice and Spencer never thought he’d ever get to have things like that with you but you’re here. You’re here, with him, and basically offering Spencer the entire world on a silver platter but it’s still so so unfathomably difficult just saying what he so badly wants.
“You want
?”, you hum slightly, voice soft and so tender as you continue painting patterns on his skin and Spencer would literally die for you. And that’s the entire problem. Spencer doesn’t know if you’d do the same. Well. Maybe not die die for him but. He can’t just sleep with you, and it not meaning anything to you. It would kill him. It would kill him, if after you give him tenderness and pleasure and acceptance in a way he’s never dreamed of receiving, you would go back to normal. Always politely distanced, close, but never close enough and it already twists his chest just thinking of that possibility.
“I just-“, he tries again, but when the words are stuck in his throat, sticky molten sugar that tastes like bile and fear, he pulls out of your grip and buries his face in his hands. He’s so bad at this. He’s the worst. No wonder he’s never had- had something like Morgan has, one night stand after one night stand (not that he particularly wants that, god no, but just-) because Spencer is just so bad at spilling all of the things that plague his gut and keep his thoughts in overdrive at night. No wonder he’s never even had a girlfriend or boyfriend before.
“Hey, hey, Spencer”, he feels your hands cupping his own, still over his face. Not taking them away, but just – there. “It’s alright, penguin, we can always come back to this another time. I’ll wait.”
Spencer’s face crumples and his breath hitches a little because- penguin. That’s the frankly ridiculous nickname you’ve been using for him ever since he apparently once looked like one, with that white scarf and knee-length black coat he wore during one of your cases where a blizzard surprised not only the team, but also the unsub. Spencer, like most of you, wasn’t prepared and thus, had to make do with what the helpful officers provided them with. And well, Spencer drew the penguin stick it seemed.
It’s ridiculous but sweet and it always makes him feel so loved, loved by you, because it’s adorable and theirs and he just loves it irrationally much, okay? And also, penguins are just really fascinating because-
“Did you know that most penguins live monogamously? The Emperor penguin is actually one of the only ones that mate seasonally, they only have one mate per breeding season. But most others have a mate for life, like, like swans and bald eagles.”
Before Spencer even opened his mouth, he was aware of the fact he was going to ramble on about some unimportant stuff. It’s always like this, it always feels like a breath he’s been holding in for too long, like an itch somewhere in his weird brain that only stops when he opens his mouth and infodumps and he cannot stop it. No matter how consciously he is telling himself to cut it out or screaming at himself to shut the fuck up you weirdo, it’s unavoidable. As soon as his brain latches onto a statistic or a fact it is reminded of, it’s an unstoppable force.
Like now. He is kicking himself. Why, oh why can’t he ever be normal? He feels himself flushing bright red from embarrassment and shame and frustration. He can’t believe he is rambling about birds while- while whatever the hell you two are doing right now. While in the middle of a conversation that started out with you confronting him about him seeing your nudes, jesus christ.
Spencer is about to suffocate himself with a pillow when you let out a graceless snort.
It confuses Spencer so much he lowers his hands to look at you and- oh.
Your eyes are shining with something that looks so close to what he would call affection, and it makes him want to bawl his eyes out and at the same time, smile so hard there’ll be laugh lines on his cheeks for the rest of the week.
“Well, that fits perfectly then”, you say, and Spencer doesn’t understand.
“What do you mean?”
You smile just a little wider, a little more teasingly but in a nice way, in a kind way and it leaves Spencer’s chest blooming with warmth.
“If you’re my penguin, I’ll be your penguin.”
Youryouryouryouryour-
Spencer feels entirely braindead. Only the fact that you called him yours registers. Because yes. Yes. Spencer is so yours he’d gladly let you make every decision for him from now on in his life and yes. That’s not exactly a very normal thing to think. Or to want. Spencer doesn’t care. He’s never felt normal about you for a day in his life and he definitely won’t start now.
“You- you mean- like, as, as mates?”
You scrunch your nose in disgust. “If you want to call us that, I think I’ll take back my offer.”
It punches a giggle out of Spencer, sudden and kind of light-headed. He watches your face break into a wide grin.
“But you- you’d like that?” You’d like me?
You pull a face, sniffing in a nonchalant way, direct your face to your nails in fake disinterest.
“Sure. Whatever.”
And Spencer can’t help himself. He sobs out a laugh- laughs out a sob or, whatever that weird noise he makes is, because you’re so ridiculous and he loves you more than anything in the world.
You roll your eyes, fondly, shake your head slightly.
“Of course, Spencer. I’d like that very much because I like you a very unnormal amount. Literally. On my knees, crying, screaming etcetera”, you say just like that, smiling just like that.
Spencer feels like he’s dreaming. He must be. There’s no other explanation for it. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you could like him. You. You’re so, so lovely and amazing and you deserve everything good in this world and Spencer is just. Spencer.
“You- you like me? Me?”, Spencer can’t hide the incredulous tone that seeps into his questions because you like him?
There’s no traces of humour in your eyes anymore. Your eyes look painfully honest, face suddenly serious, and it steals Spencer’s breath away.
You lean closer to him again, grabbing his hands with yours. Your gaze bores itself into his, intense and steady and he can’t look away. “Spencer. I know it’s- I know life has been hard on you for way too long. And that leaves its marks on you. That’s fine. It’s human. But. You do not deserve any less love because of that, do you understand me? Of course I like you, what isn’t there to like? You’re kind and funny and sweet and just so- Spencer. You’re so lovable and it kills me to know that you don’t see how you are so worthy of being loved.”
Oh.
Oh.
You can’t just- can’t just say things like that and expect him to not cry a little. Can’t expect him to act completely nonchalant and cool about all of this when you say things like that to him. Are you trying to kill him? Because it sure does feel like that.
Spencer is so completely at a loss. He doesn’t know what to say to that- not to mention what to do. How do you always do this? How can you see straight to the hidden, bruised core of him, littered with all these ugly and bad things and. Just. Figure out what to say to strike him exactly there.
It should scare him, being known so deeply. It should, but it doesn’t because it’s you. You are warmth and acceptance like his favourite place in front of a fireplace, book in hand and rain gently knocking against windows. You are quiet mornings at work, you are soft rays of sunlight in his hair, you are gentle hands helping you up when you fall and bruise your knees. You are –
A touch to his cheek startles him. He opens his eyes – when did he close them? – to your fingers brushing some stray tears away, so softly as if he’s something precious, something to be held delicately. That thought sends new tears spilling down his cheek. He can’t believe this is affecting him so much, so completely he simultaneously feels like he is going to shatter and be stitched back together again.
He never knew he needed this so much.
“Sorry for making you cry, penguin. I didn’t think this discussion about my lack of nude etiquette would get this emotionally damaging”, you say, voice hushed in the big silence of the room, a small smile on your lips and eyes so kind.
Spencer snorts, despite himself. This has really been a very bizarre evening. He feels almost drunk on the weirdness of it all, on the rollercoaster that his emotions have ridden all evening. That’s probably why he does what he does next.  
“Neither did I, especially after you interrupted me while I wa-“
Spencer shuts his mouth so fast he clicks his teeth together, eyes wide and suddenly horrified. He- what-
Why?
Why can’t Spencer ever keep his big mouth shut? Is he completely and utterly insane?
There’re alarm bells going off somewhere in Spencer’s head and a concerning warmth settling deep in his stomach when your grin takes on a slightly devilish edge, one he knows all too well and. And. Oh. He’s in trouble. So much trouble. Why did he have to say that?
“After I interrupted you while?”, you prompt him, eyes electric and hot and oh god-
Spencer is so dumb. An idiot. Of the highest order. High IQ, where?
“Nothing”, he says, voice high-pitched and rushed and he curses himself and his ability to act everything else but nonchalant. He’d be the worst actor of all time.
“Spencer.”
The tone of your voice rearranges something in his neurons. He can feel himself sit up just that little bit straighter, can feel his mind buzz at the edges. He’s never felt like this before.
He loves it.
“Hmm?”, is all he gets out. Trouble, so much trouble.
Suddenly you’re standing up, away from him and Spencer wants to whine because you should stay there next to him, forever fixed to his side. He doesn’t have to despair long, because you take one of your knees and gently nudge his legs apart with it and okay. Okay. That definitely didn’t just send Spencer’s mind reeling. That wasn’t just totally the hottest thing that ever happened to him.
You slot yourself between his legs as if you own that space and. In his humble opinion, you do. You so do. Spencer is willing to give you a map of his entire body and a marker and tell you to please demarcate every part of him you want. He’d give it to you, no questions asked.
He is looking up at you, at your burning eyes that still hold something so soft in them that makes the lump in his throat bigger again. And by god, Spencer just needs to hear you say it again-
“You like me?”
You move closer to him, lifting one hand and placing it underneath his chin. Your thumb traces along his jaw and Spencer feels like he is going to burst into a million embarrassed pieces.
“Yes”, you say simply, but the way you say it. Spencer can’t help but shiver and exhale shakily. He feels so warm, everywhere. His skin burns where your fingers are touching him. He never wants this to stop.
“You- You want me?”
Your hand grips his face a little stronger, your other fingers splaying over and down his throat and there’s a high noise coming from somewhere and there’s goosebumps on his body everywhere and oh, wait- it’s him. The noise. Well, how embarrassing but. He doesn’t care. Nope. Not at all.

Okay maybe a little. His face feels warm, suddenly, warmer than the rest of him and yes. He’s blushing, okay?
“Spencer”, the way you say his name it- god, “I want you. I said it before, but. I will give you anything. Tell me what you want, Spencer, and you will get it from me.”
Your eyes are so dark and your voice so low and Spencer actually whines and. He’s hard again, so hard, because he didn’t come before and now, he’s even more pent-up and his thoughts are a mess, but you haven’t even touched him more than this and he’s already so worked up from you just saying these things to him-
“I want you”, Spencer pants, currently finding no other English words in the dictionary of his mind. And well. Emily was right about him. IQ slashed to zero when pretty person do thing.
He watches you take a deep breath, as if to steady yourself, as if this whole thing is affecting you as much as it affects him but that’s- ridiculous. Impossible. Because. Have you seen yourself?
“I know that, Spencer. But what do you want from me? Do you want me to kiss you?”, you ask, face suddenly so close to his Spencer feels your breath fan over his skin, and he whimpers because yes he wants that wants that- “Do you want me to touch you more?”, your other hand grabs his side, gentle but just a little bit roughly and Spencer is suddenly vividly reminded of the fact how strong you are and he feels kind of lightheaded-
“Do you want me to fuck you, Spencer?”
Spencer is going to pass out. And die. And moan and say, “Please yes yes yes”. Maybe not in that particular order.
“Okay, angel, anything you want”, you say, smiling softly at him as if he’s the best thing in the world and angel. Angel. Angel.
Before he’s even started to process you calling him angel, he sees a glint in your eyes, that edge in your smile again and before he knows what’s happening, you’re kissing him.
You’re kissing him and it’s- everything.
Your mouth is soft against his, and Spencer’s insides twist and flutter and his brain is kind of lagging behind, but he wants to be closerclosercloser-
It’s so good Spencer completely blanks on everything. There’s nothing in his mind except the feel of your lips moving against his. There’s no insecurity, no embarrassment tainting this moment even though this is literally like, only the sixth kiss or so of Spencer’s life and he has no idea what he is doing. But it’s so good.
A noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper escapes him when you lick into his mouth and Spencer’s soul almost leaves his body. He feels you shudder where you are pressed together, chest to chest.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe against his lips, in between wet, hot, kisses. You rub your nose against his, eyes closed.
“Hmm?”, he hums, his voice somewhere in Canada or wherever. His mouth is too busy smiling so wide it hurts, anyways. No time for articulating anything.
“You’re amazing, Spencer, amazing.”
And he wants to shake his head, no, because the only one amazing here is you. But it’s impossible to disagree with you when your mouth has returned to his in a way that is probably ruining him for anyone else. (He’s okay with that.)
You peck him on the lips once, twice more, before you press your lips against his jaw, exactly where you had your fingers before. Your hands are basically the only thing holding Spencer up in a sitting position, because he feels like molten chocolate in your hands. Muscles apparently forgetting to do their job and well. Who can blame them? Spencer has stopped thinking in proper sentences the moment you had walked into his life, so. Only a matter of time until you broke the rest of him as well.
You kiss his neck and Spencer gasps. It’s really been a hot minute - three years, one hundred, twenty-one days and twenty hours to be exact – the last time he made out with someone. Everything feels heightened on his heated skin, especially you opening your mouth against him and licking him oh god-
It almost feels like a reward when you gently bite at his skin next. Spencer almost screams.
“So good, so so good for me”, he hears you whisper into the skin of his neck and this time, Spencer does make a noise. Because yes. He wants that. Be good for you. That’s the only thing in his fuzzy mind that feels clear, that feels graspable.
He can see your pupils dilate. Can see the wicked lilt to your lips. “You like being good for me, don’t you, angel?”
ANGEL. Spencer is nodding his head before he knows he does so. “Yes, yes.”
“Fuck”, he hears you breathe against him and it’s strange, seeing the effect he has on you. Did really he do that? “I can’t believe how incredible you are, sweetheart.”
And you need to stop. If you keep calling Spencer these things- he’s pretty sure he won’t survive this. The team would need to find another genius to solve cases with. His cactus Greg would dry out and wilt and die. You and Penelope would need to find another victim to send confusing memes to.
“Did you like my pictures, Spencer?”, you then ask and that’s so not fair. You can’t just ask him that while he’s so utterly in your hands that he’s sure he’d tell you about every little fantasy he’s had about you ever if you asked.
Because Spencer wants to be good, feels that need so deeply in his bones, he nods frantically. “Yes, I- I liked them.”
At the same time the words leave his mouth, something feels wrong. There’s an ugly thing twisting in his stomach, so unpleasant it momentarily occludes the high-octane bliss-fuzz fogging up his mind.
You notice the shift in mood almost immediately. “What’s wrong, angel?”
And well. It’s just- that guilt. Of not saying anything to you about Spencer seeing your nudes, of just ogling you like that without your permission. That wasn’t very good of him. Actually, the opposite. He’s been bad and he hates that. Hates that so severely that there’s suddenly tears on his cheeks and oh no. That’s mortifying. Who cries before sex? Jesus Christ he’s such a virgin it is genuinely embarrassing.
“I’m- I’m sorry”, he stutters, a little bit hysterical, creating distance between you, arms slung around himself, “I should’ve, should’ve said something, I’m so so sorry, I’m the worst friend and now I’m- I’m crying, oh god, I’m so sorry-“
“Hey, hey hey whoa. Spencer, darling. Penguin. Look at me, please?”
But he shakes his head. He doesn’t deserve to look at you again. What was he even thinking? He was- so creepy and now- now-
Two warm hands grab his face and then Spencer is looking into your eyes again. He squeezes his own shut, but all that it does is send more tears spilling over his cheeks and he’s so fucking stupid-
“Baby, please.”
Spencer sobs.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. That’s the best thing he has ever heard but he doesn’t deserve these things.
“Of course you deserve it, silly goose”, you say and oh. He’s said that out loud.
Your thumbs brush over his cheeks and Spencer can’t not lean into your touch, despite everything. Because that’s just the way it always is. He’s drawn to your warmth and tenderness like a moon revolves around its planet.
“I thought we’d established that it was an accident? And if it was someone’s fault, then mine, because no password, remember?”
Spencer opens his eyes. The deep affection swimming in yours makes him sob again. He’s a mess. A crying, horny mess and Spencer definitely fucked this up. Why does Spencer always ruin the few good things in his life?
“Spencer, Spencer. Hey. It’s okay, I promise you. We wouldn’t be doing this, if it wasn’t, okay?”, you kiss his nose. “Do you want to lay down, maybe?”
He nods, not really thinking clearly. He moves up the bed, under the covers and curls up on his side. He waits for you to get up from the bed, for you to walk over to the door and leave. To say that this was a mistake, he was a mistake. To say that you take back everything you said to him in the last half hour.
He’s not just a little surprised to feel your weight dip the mattress, to feel even more sudden warmth engulf him when you spoon him from behind. You start tracing swirly patterns over the skin of his arm and he feels goosebumps spread all over his body.
Some minutes tick by, you still holding him, when his tears have finally dried up. He doesn’t remember crying so much in one day. Spencer feels miserable.
“Do you still like me?”, he asks, and yes, it’s pathetic and stupid but. He doesn’t care if you never have sex or if you’re not going to be more than his friend now. Because the thought of you not being in his life in any capacity anymore- just no.
He can feel you freeze and take in a sharp breath. “Wha- Spencer. Of course, I still like you. I don’t care what we do, I just want to be with you. In any way you’ll have me.”
You sound so understanding and sincere and actually confused about his fear as if you’d never even think of not liking him anymore and and and-
And something in him just- snaps. He wants you, needs you so much he’s going to die if he doesn’t-
He shuffles and turns in your arms until he’s face to face with you. You look at him, eyebrow raised in question but so beautiful and lovely and you still like him-
“I want you so bad”, he says and then he presses his lips against yours again.
You respond immediately, low moan escaping you and Spencer is greedy, he wants to hear more, feel more, feel everything with you.
He’s kissing you as if he’s going to die if he ever stopped, which, yes, he absolutely would, and you kiss him back as if you can’t live without him. It makes everything become hazy again, like before, and every bad feeling suddenly feels eons away. Like he’s underwater, floaty and relaxed. Safe, he feels safe in the way you kiss him and hold him. Like you always do.
You move your kisses to his neck, sucking and biting and Spencer is moaning and moaning and can’t stop and then suddenly, you’re gone, what –
“Spencer, Spencer, wait”, you pant, out of breath and flushed and he wants to cry again, “Sorry, sorry I just-“
You frame his face in your hands, a little bit roughly. “I’m so sorry for making this so hard, you’re being so good for me, but Spencer. Have you done this before?”
Somewhere in the fog that is his minds, Spencer finds his voice. It’s high and airy but he doesn’t care. “No, no, I haven’t.”
He watches you take a deep breath, feels your fingers digging into his skin a little bit more.
“Tell me. Do you want this, Spencer?”, your voice is shaking as if you need to keep yourself in check and Spencer can’t believe he’s getting to see you like this.
“Yes”, he says because he can’t ever want anything else, and, “Please make me feel good.”
You inhale sharply, your grip on his face bordering on painful. “Spencer, you’re incredible, amazing, the best- I’ll make you feel good, okay? I’ll make you feel so good because you deserve it.”
“Yes”, Spencer is not ashamed of how whiny he sounds. No. He’s owning it now. This is his thing now, okay? He’ll gladly be your pathetic wet cat, or whatever the term was that you sometimes use to describe him with. Whatever it even means.
“Good”, you grin, and then you push on his shoulder hard and he’s on his back. And you. Sitting on top of him, thighs on either side of him. Straddling him exactly where he wants you most and he exhales a needy ‘ah’. His hypothesis of liking being manhandled is
 yet to be disproven. He’s discovering so many things about himself today.
Pleasure radiates in waves from where you’re passively giving pressure to his hard cock and yeah okay. This is good. Amazing. He’s never felt better. But-
“Please.”
“Please what, angel?”
“More?”
“More what?”
Your fingers trailing along his throat and jaw, down his chest and teasing ghost-like over his nipples are not really helpful in finding the right words to what he wants. You take pity on him.
“More touch?”
Spencer nods his head, so fast he almost gets dizzy because he’s at that point again where everything feels liquid, hazy, a little bit unreal. So, speaking is already quite the task.
You smile at him as if he just solved the most difficult equation. “Doing so good, Spencer. Incredible.”
He moans. Okay. Another hypothesis to add to his ever-growing list of scientific discoveries today.
“Where do you want touch, Spencer? Here?”, there’s hands in his hair. He shakes his head.
“Hmm
 Here?”, fingers drawing circles on his chest and yes, that feels nice, so nice but he wants-
“Here?”, you ground your hips down and jesus-
“Yes!”, Spencer almost chokes on the sound. Pleasure shoots up his spine and he whimpers. “Please.”
You exhale shakily, looking flush. “Okay. Because you ask so nicely.” There’re two little taps on his lower stomach through his shirt. “Do you want to take this off first? Or no?”
The way you give him the chance to say no- the way you respect his autonomy so deeply-
It’s basic human decency, yes, but it’s also the hottest thing and Spencer feels so valued and understood and safe that he’s not even hesitating when he mutters a quiet yes.
You help him sit up because he’s currently not really heir over his body like he usually is. Help his head out of the shirt and thread his arms out. And then, he’s half naked in front of you and suddenly, the doubt and insecurity that’ve been so quiet so far are back with a vengeance.
The urge to cover himself is so big it’s impossible to stop his arms from wrapping around himself.
Spencer knows he’s not ugly. He’s not that bad looking actually. Can’t be too bad if Morgan keeps insisting on calling him pretty boy, even though Spencer sometimes still has the sneaking suspicion that he’s teasing him. But his friend wouldn’t be so cruel.
But other people like to be. Pipe-cleaner, leek, straw, big-eyes. He’s heard it all before. He has matured enough and grown into himself so that these things don’t bother him like they used to. But still. Still. These things are arduous to scrub from under his skin.
Your gaze on him though- he’s never felt so, cleaned from all of these mean words before. You look- you look reverent while mapping his skin and maybe that’s the reason why he lowers his arms again.
“Spencer. You’re a dream”, you say, almost in trance. Almost as if you’re hypnotized by him, and he’s flushing. But. Being watched so intently, being admired like that. He feels his dick give an indigent twitch against your clothed core. Another thing for the list.
“So impatient”, you tut and Spencer flushes more. He thinks he’s waited long enough for this. But he doesn’t say that. If you stopped now- he would definitely combust spontaneously.
You lean down, over him. Hands trailing along his sides like you did earlier, but without any clothes between your skin and his. It’s almost too much. And not enough. He feels electrified, where you touch him. His heart is hammering against his ribs so hard you must be able to feel it. His stomach is in knots, fluttery. He’s never felt more alive.
You connect your lips to his throat, placing kiss after kiss along the arched length of it. Follow the same path with your tongue and Spencer whines, curves up against you a little. Everything feels so good Spencer is floating in it.
You shift your attention to his collarbones next, kissing but then gently biting and Spencer feels the indents of your teeth all the way through to his back and he hopes, wants, you to sink them into him so deep they’ll leave marks. So that he carries the evidence of this with him for the rest of this case, so that there’s absolutely no more doubt to who he belongs to. That thought alone makes him whimper, makes him feel that tiny little bit more lost in you.
You start kissing along his chest, down his stomach. Open mouthed, wet kisses and Spencer shivers when the places you put them feel cold after because of your spit. The lower you get, the noisier he becomes and at one point, Spencer would’ve been embarrassed. Well, he kind of is, but he’s also so turned on that the embarrassment doesn’t feel as stifling like usual. Rather, in a weird way, it makes everything hotter, and he does not own enough brain capacity right now to decipher that. But he does add it to the list.
When your face is dangerously close to the waistband of his pyjama, Spencer tenses, holds his breath. Being shirtless is one thing, but
 well.
“It’s okay, Spencer. We only do as much as you feel comfortable with”, you murmur, giving a small peck to the left of his belly button. You calmingly follow his sides with your hands, smiling at him with so much affection in your eyes that Spencer feels speechless, breathless, until the tension releases his muscles again and he melts into the sheets.
“’m just
”, he tries, he really tries so hard to tell you that he wants this more than anything he’s ever wanted but that he just feels
 insecure.
You kiss his stomach again. “How about we only take off the pyjama? For now? If you want to take off your underwear too later, we can still do that.”
That
 that’s actually a good idea. So, he nods.
“Words, angel.”
“Yes, yes. That’s- good.”
You look so proud of him. “You’re so good, Spencer. Perfect.”
He moans embarrassingly loud. He really should be more concerned about this. About how you are basically pulling him apart, thread by thread and he just lets you, willingly. How you know which threads to pull to reduce him to a sweaty mess in what felt like 0.2 seconds.
There’s a finger dipping beneath the waistband, moving back and forth along the newly exposed skin. Your eyes watch him intently, almost predator-like. A question is in there somewhere as well and Spencer nods again.
You help him lift his hips, help him pull down the pants. Spencer is kind of busy kicking his legs a little to shake them off completely but when he looks back and down himself to where you are hyper-focused on the outline of his cock through the thin fabric he blushes.
Even more when he notices the big, dark blue splotch in front of his underwear. That’s definitely never happened before. How embarrassing.
When you look up at him again, you’re also flushed. Eyes dark, wide, voice kind of unsteady. “Spencer, Spencer, can I?”
“Please”, and then you palm him with your hand, and it feels so good it takes all of his concentration to not come on the spot. He doesn’t know if he’ll survive this until you arrive to the main thing.
It’s not the first time someone has touched him like that, but it is the first time you are doing it, and it already feels better than anything he’s ever felt before. You’re either a wizard or Spencer is just biased because he thinks everything you do is ten times better than the same thing done by someone else.
Probably the first reason.
He has his head angled back, one of his arms thrown over his eyes. If he looked at you now, he’s pretty sure, he’d come. Visual stimulation on top of physical would probably be the end of him. It’s already too much, just feeling your hand move up and down his dick in various pressures. Almost as if you are testing what he likes best, and Spencer is definitely here for it. Definitely. He’s happy to just let you experiment with him until you know all the different ways to drive him mad with pleasure with just a few moves.
Which, you apparently already figured out, judging by the way Spencer can’t form a single coherent thought anymore. It’s already, so good, so freaking good holy shit, and you’re still not touching him. Still a layer of fabric between your hand and him and he kind of- just-
“Take it off?”
You still your hand, looking up at him. You look kind of crazed, almost a little pained. It takes two deep breaths for you to process what he just asked, eyes a little unfocused before they fix Spencer to the bed with an intensity that makes him feel unfocused. “You sure, angel?”
Spencer literally can’t do anything but nod. You stay in your position for some moments longer, before you sigh out a long breath, mumbling something that suspiciously resembles you’re gonna be the death of me. Spencer misses your warmth on top of him the second you hoist yourself up. It’s kind of crazy and destitute of him. You are literally right there but he’s waited for this for so long it feels like he’s suffocating without your weight pressing him down. Which is ironic and also, insane.
Your fingers are gentle, when they move under the stretchy fabric of his underwear. Even gentler when they pull down and down and down until Spencer is entirely naked in front of you.
Oh, he feels so exposed. While he has been the recipient of a mediocre hand job before, it’s been in his trousers. This is kind of the first time someone sees him naked like that, because school locker rooms and his mother don’t count.
He doesn’t dare look at you. If there’s anything akin to disappointment, not to mention disgust on your face- Spencer probably would have to jump out the window, stat. His gaze is frozen on his cock, steadily leaking precum on his stomach (which, embarrassing). He’s abashedly trying to insert himself into your point of view, tries to imagine what you think about seeing him like this. What you might think about his dick, if it’s too short or too thin or if it looks weird, if he should’ve shaved. If his legs look strange and too gangly now, or if his stomach connects to his pubic area wrong or-
“Holy shit”, you say, and Spencer is too curious for his own damn good sometimes, because he can’t force his gaze to stay away from you.
You look at him- like before. Reverent but more, so much more. He almost feels like a deity, the way you look at him. Someone to be awed by, someone that should be worshipped. Spencer feels his already in overdrive heartbeat quicken even more, blood flushing his cheeks so much it leaks down his throat, to his chest.
Spencer would literally kill to have you look at him like this for the rest of his life.
“Holy shit, Spencer”, you repeat, eyes now meeting his, “You’re like- a literal fucking dream. I cannot believe- you’re so beautiful, how are you so beautiful everywhere?”
Spencer whimpers and he needs you to touch him kiss him fuck him anything please now or he will absolutely die from heart palpitations.
Some of his despairing thoughts must’ve come through to you, because the next thing you do is moan, which is the best thing he’s ever heard. Then, you take off your sweater. Second to go is your cropped tank top and you aren’t wearing a bra and good heavens.
Pictures could never compare. Not even Botticelli could’ve adequately committed you to canvas.
Spencer must’ve taken some brain damage from seeing you half naked. He doesn’t remember you taking off the remainder of your clothes, nor does he remember you straddling him again. But, fuck.
Spencer kind of doesn’t use the f-word that often but-
fuckfuckfuckufuckfkcufuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcufkc-
You’re warm against him, and wet, so freaking wet, and it feels so mind-blowingly good- it’s a miracle he’s still holding on. But-
“Won’t last long”, he gets out, breathy and whiny and just so goddamn fuzzy from pleasure. The world could literally perish right now, and he wouldn’t care. He can’t care, because this is the best thing that ever happened to him and he won’t ever care about anything else ever again other than feeling you, you you you you, against him.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe, gasp, and fuck, the way you keep using his name. “Are you okay? Do you still want this?”
It’s ridiculous you even ask. But the warmth in his chest, the feeling of comfort and safety and ease – because everything with you is so easy, so natural - he feels with the way you look after him-
He feels your thumbs caressing his wet cheeks. You put small, sweet kisses all over his face. Take the time to brush away some of his sweat-sticky hair from his forehead. Place kisses there too. You end with a drawn out, gentle kiss to his lips.
“What do you say, sweetheart?”
There’s really only one way for him to answer that. He trusts you. Plain and simple. There’s no one else he could ever do this with.
“Yes, I want. Please.”
You kiss him again. “So good Spencer, you’re so fucking good to me. I can’t believe you are trusting me with this. You are incredible, angel.”
Spencer doesn’t know how it’s anatomically possible, but he blushes even harder. Also, feels his cock twitch against you because he apparently likes to be called good almost as much as he likes being good. For you. Only you. Jesus Christ.
“Do you have a condom?”, you ask and ah. Well.
“Suitcase”, and wow. First word with more than one syllable since you straddled him the first time. He’s being so brave right now. He deserves a medal. Proof of Being Able to Speak Polysyllabic Words While Getting Fucked (Almost).
There’s humour glistening in your eyes, when you hide a fake gasp behind your hand and say, “Oh my god, Spencer you dog. Can’t believe you planned this entire thing.”
Spencer almost chokes on his own spit. “N-no! I just- uh, like being prepared.”
You grind down a snort, drive your teeth into your lower lip. “In case you accidentally saw your coworker’s nudes and them being down to fuck you about it?"
Oh my god, you’re the most ridiculous person he’s ever met. He can’t stop himself from grinning because seeing you trying to keep your laughter at bay-
“Yes. That.”
“But what if- what if it was Rossi instead of you seeing them? How would’ve your plan worked out then, huh?”, you wheeze, shaking from literal suppressed laughter and Spencer makes a sound like a dying horse.
“Rossi? Rossi?”
“Oh my god, imagine it would’ve been Hotch. He would’ve probably fired me so hard and then called me a week later to disappointed-dad-talk me to come back but to please, refrain from bringing personal files to work in the future.”
Spencer laughs. He’s still rock-hard underneath you, but he’s laughing because that’s what you always do. Being so absurd and silly that he’s shocked to laughter.
He adores you with every fibre of his being.
“What the fuck?”, you ask, incredulous but laughing yourself, “Is my misery amusing to you?”
And Spencer feels like being a little bit of a brat. “Very.”
You flick his nose. Grumble something like I’ll show you misery and then you move your hips against his and Spencer sees stars. Let’s out an embarrassingly high whine.
Ah well. It was still worth it.
“Don’t move”, you order, when you climb down from him to retrieve a condom. Spencer watches you, lets himself look at you. All the times he’s wondered how it would be, how it would feel like, being in this kind of situation with you. He’s never in a million years thought it would feel so familiar. Like you’ve done this before, so many times that it’s just become something normal between you two. He’s actually relaxed. So turned on it feels like he’s going to burst any second, but he’s calm. He feels comfortable, so much so that it doesn’t even matter that it’s the first time he’s doing this and he’s so clueless about all of this.
But he knows, if it’s with you, he never ever has to worry about anything.
“Do you have lube as well?”, you ask, rifling through his suitcase and distracting him from his sappy thoughts.
“Hmm. No, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, angel”, you say while returning to Spencer, and the nickname kind of switches something off again in his brain. Perfect. He’s never going to be able to be normal again about that word.
“We’ll have to get some, for next time. Always feels better with it.”
Spencer hasn’t really registered more than next time next time next time-
He’s pulled out of his daze of knowing your intentions of this not only being a one-off thing, when you straddle him again, a bit lower on his legs. Spencer moans, loud and high, when you grab him by the base and god, fuck, his skin is tingling with anticipation.
With your other hand, you grab the condom and then use your teeth to open the packet, and his cock jumps in your hand. How are you so hot. How does everything you do turn him on so much, what.
He watches you take out the plastic ring as if he’s watching from above, out of his body. He watches as you position the condom over his tip and then pull it down, down and Spencer’s brain must be lagging because he feels everything with at least a two second delay and shit, god, son of a-
“You ready, baby?”
He makes a noise between a sob and a whine. He’s losing his mind. “Please please please-“
“Fuck, Spencer”, you whine, lift yourself up a bit with your legs and then you are sinking down on him, inch by agonizing inch.
It’s so good, it’s so good, you are so warm, so hot, and Spencer can’t stop making noises until your hips are flush to his and he’s inside you.
You let out a loud, drawn-out moan above him. “Fuck, fuck, Spencer. You feel so fucking good, holy shit.”
He feels like he’s one move away from coming. God, oh god, it feels so incredible.
“Can I move? Spencer, please?”, your voice is wrecked, you’re flushed down to your navel, and you’re the best thing he’s ever seen.
“Please please please please”, it’s the only word he remembers how to pronounce.
“Fuck”, you almost sob, lifting yourself almost completely off him. You lower yourself back down again, one swift move, and you both moan.
You pick up the pace a little, fucking him with still languid but purposeful thrusts. Every time his cock sinks back into you, Spencer feels bits and pieces of his sanity crumbling away. He can’t think, can’t speak, his mind so fogged up and fuzzy he’s having troubles remembering who he is. He’s so completely at your mercy he’d let you do anything to him.
That turns him on a worryingly huge amount. List, something about a list somewhere.
“Oh, god, look at you. Spencer, baby, angel. You feel so good inside of me, so good.”
He keens, grabs at your strong thighs bracketing his slim hips. Arches up into you, closerclosercloser-
“You like being good for me, right angel?”, you ask, hips slowing down to a gentle grinding that absolutely drives Spencer insane and he’s too far gone to even nod, “It suits you. Being so wrecked for me, moaning and shaking. God, fuck, you’re divine, Spencer, fuck.”
The pressure behind his cock, low in his stomach, that’s been building all evening, all week, holy shit, it’s too much. Spencer feels delirious, feels your hotness around him, feels your hands pressing his chest down into the bed. He’s going to die it feels so good.
“You going to come for me, Spencer? You gonna be good for me and come inside of me?”
Please please please please- it’s all he can think, all he can feel, because because-
You give a particularly hard thrust and-
Spencer’s coming, moaning and moaning, shaking everywhere. He’s coming and it feels so good, so fucking good. He’s never come so hard in his life before.
He might have blacked out a little. The next time he’s aware of something, it’s you cleaning him with a wet washcloth. Slow, and gentle and Jesus.
“What?”, is the first thing he manages to say, and you snicker beside him. You caress his face, hand running through his hair, down his chest. Peck his lips. You’re both still naked.
“Feeling good?”, you ask and what kind of question even is that. You just fucked the soul from his body, and you ask him-
“I almost died”, he says, tagging your name at the end with an incredulous tint to it.
You snort, setting the washcloth on the nightstand behind you. You lie down close to him, cuddling into his side. “That was the plan.”
“Killing me with sex?”
“Yep. That’s for ogling my nudes without my permission, you creep.”
He says your name again, exasperated but so fucking fond it’s a miracle you’ve never noticed his pining before. You shrug, pull a ‘what can you do face’. Spencer rolls his eyes and then, unceremoniously, flops on top of you.
“Uffff”, you press out. “You’re smothering me, penguin.”
Spencer shrugs and copies the expression you just did. You bark out a laugh.
“Ha! Didn’t know post-sex Spencer is such a cheeky little shit. I’ve created a monster.”
He can’t entirely control his face, some parts of a smile slipping into his features. He does manage to poke out his tongue at you though, before he buries his face in your neck.
Some minutes tick by, you both enjoying the other’s presence and warmth and idleness, before something in his brain-
“Wait-“, Spencer splutters, pushing himself away from you so that he can look at you. “Did you- did you even finish?”
He’s kind of horrified. He was so focused on his pleasure- he- how did he forget? He doesn’t remember you coming and oh no, he’s such an asshole, who doesn’t make sure the other person has come as well and-
“Spencer, Spencer”, you shush him, fingers trailing along his back, and he shivers, eyes rolling back.
“I made myself come right after, don’t worry. You were kind of busy in your post-orgasm, pussy-drunk coma.”
Spencer flushes. “But I wanted to
”
You laugh softly. “You can do whatever to me, next time, sweets. This was about you. We’ll go on a date as soon as we’re back home. Fucking Florida is driving me nuts.”
Oh, he suddenly feels shy. A date? You want to go on a date with him?
“Really?”, he asks, and he hates how insecure he sounds.
You send him an unbelieving look. “Uh, what about the last hour makes you think otherwise? Seriously, Spencer, we need to work on your confidence.”
“Okay”, he mutters, a little bit pout-y and you scoff, pulling him down on top of your chest again.
There, with your hands painting patterns on his back and him completely lost in your warmth and familiarity, Spencer thinks that maybe, Florida isn’t that bad.
--
Bonus
“So, then. Made any scientific discoveries last night, pretty boy?”
Spencer chokes on his coffee.
“What?”
“Nothing”, his ‘friend’ says, smirking and leaning against his table, “You just seem to have figured out that little problem that’s been keeping that pretty head of yours all messed up.”
Spencer feels himself flush. Stupid body and stupid involuntary, physiological reactions. Morgan picks up on it, of course.
“Ohhhhh, want to share with the class what those discoveries were?”
Briefly, so very briefly, Spencer thinks of his self-compiled list but- no no no no.
“Shut up, Morgan.”
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @wasitforrevenge @wannabewolf @tommorecommendedfics @winterhi09 @theoraekenslover @chaewondrful @okeyhoezayy @busy-buzzing @laurakirsten0502 @redros3y @trashxqueen @kitty-kei @so-long-daisymay @hayleythecannibal @jsnsnsnszjzj @reeidsluv @kayane28 @moonysreid @desperately-seeking-serotonin @munsonslunchbox @tul1p-mimi @anuttellaa @pinkgomie @elizabethmidnight2017 @evrmorets @cyanidebitsg @bangchansdog @pinterestwhore145 @some-one-yiu-dont-kno @emma-e-a
i hope these work lmao, also let me know if you wanna be on my eternal tag list for any future Spencer fic ;)
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fanged-fanfics · 2 months ago
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☆ "You Can Have My Last Name" — Zaunites x GN Reader ☆
Genre: Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed
A/N: I'm pretty sure this idea is like. Everywhere by now. But people from Zaun/the Undercity don't really have surnames so plot is basically what if Reader offered up theirs. Simple and cute type stuff idk I wanted some fluff
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──────.đ–„” ʁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.đ–„” ʁ ˖ ──────
Viktor
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 Mentioned the nature of his lack of a surname rather casually, while venting about how Piltover kept trying to say his paperwork was 'invalid' for lacking one. He explained to you that it was common for anyone in the Undercity, and that most from there didn't have one at all
ᯓᥣ𐭩 More confused than anything when you offer yours, or he at least pretends to be. The truth is the idea flustered him coming from you so casually, so to cope he acted like he didn't know what you were implying
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Thinks about it for several weeks afterwards, subconsciously mulls over how your name would sound paired with his in his mind. He writes it down a few times too, just to test it out. Finds out pretty quickly that he likes the sound of it
Vi
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 Doesn't miss the implications a bit, as a matter of fact she IMMEDIATELY flirts back by asking if you'd really give your precious name to any pretty face you come across
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Teases you about the idea relentlessly any time the subject of names is brought up, or in any way she can really. Often makes jokes that she's gonna make a fool out of the name
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Secretly actually very honored that you'd offer it up to her but she doesn't feel like admitting that yet, you're gonna have to deal with jokey teasing for a good while first
Jinx
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 Snarkily says she wouldn't be a good fit for your name to hide the fact that she really doesn't think she deserves to be considered a part of your life
ᯓᥣ𐭩 "Ohh, you might be crazy too if you're gonna give it to someone like me"
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Feels kinda bad that she wouldn't have anything like that to offer you in return. She loves the idea of having a family to belong to again, but her own self doubt gets in the way of admitting that to herself
Ekko
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 "Oh- uh- what??"
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Genuinely very caught off guard. Not at all in a bad way, he just doesn't know how to respond to such a sudden and blatant flirt. Quickly tries to think of something to say as you're chuckling and reassuring him it's okay
ᯓᥣ𐭩 He ends up telling you through his fluster that it's not really gonna bring you any good to proudly announce a Zaunite as part of your family name. But in the end, he gives you a soft smile and says it's a nice thought he isn't against
Sevika
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 "Is that so?"
ᯓᥣ𐭩 More keen on the idea than you'd might think- tells you it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but you'd have to prove it's a name worth adopting first, teasingly daring you to make it a name you'd both be proud to wear
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Tells you to reconsider once or twice, but mostly because she loves seeing how determined you get when defending her right to bear your name
Silco
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 Doesn't pick up on what you're implying at first at all, simply tells you that isn't how that works and you're talking nonsense
ᯓᥣ𐭩 You have to prod into the implications a little more to get him to finally register what you're actually trying to say. It takes him a moment, but when he catches on he falls silent for a while
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Ends up mildly tripping over his words while telling you he's not really someone to give such an important thing to, and that you should get a better head on your shoulders and keep focused (largely to hide the fact that the offer genuinely caught him off guard. He's never gonna stop thinking about it)
Vander
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ᯓᥣ𐭩 Actually not against the idea. Seems to chuckle it off at first, but once he realizes you're being serious he fondly mulls over the idea with you while cleaning up for the night
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Recognizes the idea might not be very feasible, but hey, what's wrong with having hope? Everyone's allowed to have dreams to chase, right? No harm in chasing this one together, then
ᯓᥣ𐭩 Promises that once things are settled down enough that he'll try to make it happen with you. As long as the kids he takes in are all alright with you, of course
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lustspren · 25 days ago
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P.S.T INTERLUDES. 1 | Sticky ft Aespa, Itzy.
Male reader x Aespa, Itzy
Special guests: Seulgi, Nayeon.
word count: 16.8k words
tags: o r g y, anal, facefuck, blowjob, ass eating, pussy eating, bi, fingering, squirt, foot worship, creampie, anal creampie, pool party sex, facial, overstimulation, office sex, footjob, idk what the fuck else i don't remember anymore
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To be honest with yourself, you didn't know what the hell was going on in your life or where it was headed. You just knew that you were in a bigger game than you'd like, with very powerful people and surrounded by hungry crows.
The first few days were a mess. The cultural integration contracting company thing had ended up happening for real, and you were the director. Obviously you couldn't run something like that—no matter how much of a facade for dirty work it was— from your apartment. That's why you were assigned a space in a large corporate building in the center of Seoul. It wasn't too big, it only had your office and a small reception area where you had a guy working. A university intern who you quickly hit it off with.
Gunwook had given you a little training course before you started, since you had no fucking idea how to act like a businessman. He had been behaving great with you, constantly checking in on you to see if you needed anything or helping you with minor problems. You appreciated that he genuinely cared, so it wasn't hard for you to start to trust him for real.
But despite having an office, a pretty good salary—because yes, you were on both SM's payroll and your own company's. You were ignorant of the legality of that—, and the great relief of not having a boss (not as such), you still weren't entirely sure what exactly your new role with the girls was going to be.
So far all you'd done were a few minor tasks for various companies, like giving discreet rides to and from dinners. There was one rather fun thing you were a part of, though, and that was dealing with a vengeful ex-boyfriend who wanted to keep some racy photos to himself. Woolim had given you the freedom to handle the matter as you saw fit, whether by fair means or foul. You weren't exactly a promoter of violence, so you settled on negotiating a payment that turned out to be surprisingly cheap. The company was so pleased that they gave you a bonus, and Yeonhee even sent you the photos and videos you had retrieved for her. Hot as fuck, by the way.
You could tell that your only real concern was Noh Jihye, but everything about that was quiet, in an aura of mystery that had you frustrated at first, but meditating on the subject made it stop being an emotional burden for you. That had been her decision, and if she thought that was the best route to take so that you could all get to a better place, so be it.
But damn, you missed her. Too much. It hurt you not to have her by your side. It hurt you not to be able to hug her, kiss her, and see her wrinkle her nose when she smiled. It hurt you not to hear her scold the girls, or go here and there giving orders left and right. It hurt you not to be able to talk to her about the music you made her listen to. Everything. Everything about remembering her hurt like seven hells.
If only there was a time machine. Fuck, you'd pay anything for it.
But speaking of your current life and also time, if there was one thing you were grateful for, it was being able to adjust your entire schedule to your liking and do everything without rushing or external pressure. That was incredible. Especially for your plans for that night. There was just over a week left until the pool party at the ITZY girls' house, but that day you would have Chaery all to yourself.
Yeji and Karina, or rather, your personal therapists, had been of great help to you all those days, helping you to cope with everything in the best way and put your thoughts in order. But at that point you no longer knew exactly what you expected or what you wanted. The only thing you did know was that Chaery deserved to know everything that was going through your head at that moment and how you felt about it, so that she could also tell you what she thought about the situation. Sure, it would be a rough conversation, but even if that night changed everything with her, at least you would have a nice memory to cherish beforehand. Still, you were kinda anxious about it.
You were about to shut down your Mac and close the office for the day. Your plan was to leave early, go to the grocery store and get both fresh ingredients for dinner and soju to drink. But as soon as you stood up, three knocks were heard at your door. It couldn't be your receptionist; you had sent him home an hour ago already.
You frowned and sat back down in your chair.
"Come in!" you said.
Imagine the twists and turns of fate. Against all odds, Kang Seulgi walked into your office. A couple of months ago you would have been happy to see her, but now she just reminded you of the one persona non grata you had. It was a bittersweet feeling.
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"You're a hard man to get a hold of huh?" she asked, approaching your desk with her hands in the pockets of her denim jacket.
“Did you forget what your best friend did or what?” you asked, leaning back in your chair, holding your right wrist in your left hand above your abdomen.
“Of course not,” Seulgi replied, standing just across the desk. “But it doesn’t seem fair that I’m being punished for something I didn’t do.”
“And you’re right, it’s not fair,” you shook your head. “But just looking at you reminds me of the person who manipulated not one,” you counted with your fingers. “But two of my best friends.”
Seulgi sighed, looking up at the ceiling and then back at you.
“My mission here failed before it even started, then?”
You looked back at her silently before looking away with a snort. She didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You owed that woman too much, and you had too many good times together. It wasn’t fair to either of you.
“You know what?” You stood up and turned your back to Seulgi to grab a bottle of Hennessy X.O cognac and two small crystal glasses from your shelf; you placed them both on your desk, one for her and one for you, and filled them. “Come on, have a seat.”
Seulgi gave a small smile and sat down in front of the desk. You sat back down as well.
“Well...” you picked up your glass of cognac and stirred it carefully. “Kang Seulgi. You came here knowing you were going against the tide, so you might as well start talking.”
She chuckled, and picked up her glass to take a sip of the drink. You did the same.
“Oh my, how things have changed huh?” She smiled at you, her lips curled. “You’ve come so far in such a short time. You don’t know how proud I am of you.”
The smile on her face told you that she was being genuine. Maybe she was just messing with you, but nostalgia and your fondness for her were softening you up.
“Thanks,” you smiled back. “But I never wanted to be in this seat, to be honest. I was fine with having a job that kept my visa valid, and I could definitely be doing worse jobs.”
Seulgi blushed and downed the rest of the cognac in one gulp, setting the glass back on the desk with a soft thud.
“Would you pour me another, please?” she asked.
“Sure,” you set your glass on the edge of your side of the desk and stood up to grab the bottle. You heard her shuffling around behind you, but you weren’t sure what she was doing. When you turned around, Seulgi had shifted her position, her bare feet now propped up on the desk. “Oh.”
She flexed her fingers as you refilled her glass, knowing she had your attention.
“Remember your first week as a masseuse?” Seulgi asked as you took your seat again. “You were shaking like a mouse being hunted by a cat the moment I entered that room.”
She smiled and giggled. You knew she wasn’t mocking you; there was nothing but affection behind her words.
“You were my fourth client and my first celebrity client,” you said with a smile, remembering that day. “None of those bastards told me what I was supposed to do with you.”
“But you caught on quickly,” she said as you downed the rest of the cognac in one gulp. “It helped quite a bit that the parlor paid for all my services that day,” she brought her glass close to her lips. “And they warned me in detail that they were testing a new guy before I came in.”
Seulgi laughed, and before you could respond she stood up, grabbed the chair by the back, and rolled it over to your side of the desk, just to your left. She then sat up, pulling her feet onto your lap and staring at you intently.
“Would you spoil me a little?” she asked.
You sighed, not being able to help but bring your hands to her feet to massage them. After all, Seulgi was the one primarily responsible for your little sexual foot awakening. She had the top spot in the podium, easily. Followed by Rose, Miyeon, and Yuna.
“Is it necessary to play with me like this?” you asked, focused on Seulgi’s feet as she took another sip of cognac. “You know I have a soft spot for you; if it weren’t for you my career would have been stillborn.”
“I’m not playing with you, honey,” she said with the glass in her hand. “I’m trying to break down your barriers so you’ll be ready to hear what I’m going to say to you.”
You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Alright Miss Smooth, I’m all ears.”
Seulgi downed the rest of her glass in one gulp again, now setting it down on the desk with a loud tap.
“Remember when you had me on the table completely naked and you were still in your uniform?” she asked with a giggle. “I knew you were doing your best, but your hands were so shaky you couldn’t figure out a single key.”
“Oh my god,” you sighed, embarrassed. “Are you going to make me remember that?”
“Just listen to me, silly,” she swatted the back of your hand. “You remember perfectly what happened next; I told you to strip and treat me like you would treat any beautiful naked woman in front of you.”
“You also told me it was just you and me in that room and to forget about the outside world,” you continued, remembering every detail.
“And what happened next?”
“I was able to get out of my own head and give you a nice massage,” you smiled, rubbing between Seulgi’s toes.
She slowly moved her other foot up your chest, until she reached your mouth and stuck her big toe inside. It was inevitable not to suck on it; it would be sacrilege.
“I’d say you gave me more than just a massage,” Seulgi said, as she took off her jacket and was left in just the gray t-shirt she wore underneath. “That part was amazing. But it took you time to develop your massage skills.”
As you sucked on her finger, your mind turned on and began to rev like an eight-cylinder engine. How the hell could that woman be so attractive, seductive, funny, and endearing at the same time?
"You still won't tell me what you came to tell me," you said, sticking out her toe for a moment before moving on to the others.
"What I came to tell you is to trust me like you did that time," Seulgi said, and you heard a soft moan come out of her mouth at the treatment you were giving to her feet. "Forget everything outside this office and think of me only as a pretty woman, and let nothing else matter."
You knew that wasn't an explicit invitation for you to fuck her like you did that day, but to simply listen to her like you would anyone else and forget about prejudices.
“Seulgi, just talk please,” you said, reluctantly removing her toes from your mouth. “I’m ready to hear it.”
Seulgi lowered the foot she had in your mouth and placed it next to the other on your lap to take a deep breath.
“Look, I want you to consider forgiving Irene, I’m not asking you to do it now!” she said with her hands raised, seeing that you were about to instantly get defensive. “Not tomorrow either. I’m not even asking you to forgive her for her sake. I’m asking you to forgive her for yours and Jihye’s sake, and in a somewhat selfish way for mine too,” she placed a hand over yours. “You and I have already come a long way together to just throw it all away like this.”
You looked at your hands together and closed your eyes with a deep breath. You lowered your head, thinking about it for a moment, and ended up shaking your head slightly in denial.
“I can’t do it right now,” you said, looking up. “But I’m not closed to it. As horrible as her actions were, I know she’s just another victim of the disgusting chess game we’re all stuck in.”
Seulgi sighed in relief, squeezing your hand.
"Glad you feel that way," she nodded. "Us Red Velvet girls are really sorry for what happened and wanna make it up to you. But only Wendy and I are free and in town right now. So, just let us know when you're free and we'll swing by. Still the same apartment, right?"
“Aha, same apartment where I’ve fucked you in every corner,” you chuckled. “I haven’t seen Wendy in a while. Last time was on a flight back to Canada, and that ended up being my first time on a plane. Funny.”
“Huh?!” Seulgi frowned, mouth agape. "She never told me that! I'm going to kick her ass when I see her."
"Please don't. I want an ass to pound other than yours when you two go to the apartment."
You and Seulgi burst out laughing.
"Well, I've already taken up too much of your time sweetheart, and from what I've heard these past few days, it's very valuable," she then moved her foot a little in your lap, to put it on top of your bulge and squeeze it with her toes. "So why don't you let me make it up to you with a footjob? And who knows..." she bit her bottom lip. "Maybe something else."
"You know I've never said no to your feet, Miss Kang."
Without her asking you unbuttoned your pants and pulled them and your boxers down to your knees. Seulgi immediately put her feet to work: with one she pushed your semi-hard cock back, and with the other she massaged both the underside and your balls. It was the same routine start she always did, but it always made you moan out the same way.
"I remember the first time I did this you didn't even know how to feel," Seulgi giggled, rubbing your cock and tip with both sets of toes. "But then you got hard, just like now, until you started to melt."
Seulgi had you hard in a matter of a couple of seconds, and now while she massaged your balls with one foot she massaged the back of your cock with the other.
“How could I not when you use those feet like your hands?” you gasped, looking into her eyes.
Seulgi turned your chairs face to face, spit on her hand, and brought it to your cock to make it slippery for the next phase. She caught your shaft between both soles of her feet, and rubbed it slowly up and down. There you went again, fuck. That feeling never got old.
“I was fascinated by your cock from the first moment too,” she gasped, staring at you as she moved her feet up and down your cock. “All I could think about was how crazy I was for having it inside my mouth
 and stretching my tight pussy.”
“And you did both,” you replied, alternating your gaze between her eyes and your cock. “You liked how I fucked you on the massage table huh? You looked so fucking sexy
 all oiled up and moaning like crazy.”
"Oh I fucking loved it," Seulgi moaned softly. She was moving her feet faster now. "I've never been fucked that good in my life."
"And I've never fucked a pussy that tight," you gasped. "And your ass... fuck, your ass was a spiritual ascendancy."
"Yeah," she nodded, rubbing your cock with one foot and the circumference of your tip with the other before continuing. "You weren't merciful at all, I must say. It hurt to sit on it for like two days."
"It was your fault for showing how hot you looked on your hands and knees," you said, before losing the ability to think straight thanks to how good her feet felt. "And threatening me that if I didn't you'd give me a bad review."
A giggle escaped Seulgi.
"You had to be encouraged somehow," she said. "But it was worth it, wasn't it? You came really fucking hard in my ass, and god, your moans were music to my ears."
You had an appointment, you couldn't overextend yourself. You had an appointment, you couldn't overextend yourself. You had

"Oh god fuck it," you snorted, and jumped to your feet to stand in front of her, grab her face and bend down a little to crash your lips against hers.
Seulgi moaned against your lips as she met them, grabbing your cock to stroke it. You reached down her jeans and unbuttoned them, pulling the zipper down so she could pull them down her legs. Then you reached between her legs, rubbing her slit over her already wet panties.
"I'm afraid we have to be quick," you murmured against her lips. "I have an appointment in a little while."
"How much time do we have?" she asked.
"About ten minutes."
"More than enough."
You helped her to her feet. Seulgi kicked her pants off her heels, and you fell back into your chair. She straddled you, taking advantage of the space in your seat to position her knees on either side of your hips. Your lips met once more, and in the middle of the kiss she lifted her hips, pushed her panties aside, and grabbed your cock to slowly impale herself on it.
"Ohhh god," Seulgi moaned, throwing her head back slightly and wrapping her arms around your neck as your cock forced its way through those tight, warm walls. "I missed this so fucking much."
"Do I still have exclusivity over this pussy?" you asked, hands on that lethal waist. Both of them ran up and down the sides of her torso, caressing beneath her shirt.
"What do you think?" She asked back, giving you pecks on the lips. “Does it feel just as tight as ever?”
With your entire length already inside her you placed your hands on her gorgeous ass and made her start moving up and down. You two loved it slow and deep, and that’s how she did it, her hands stroking through your hair and her moans muffled against your lips.
“Just as tight as a year and a half ago,” you panted, and squeezed both of her ass cheeks. “And what about this ass? Still mine?”
“Baby, all of me is yours until someone who truly deserves me comes along,” Seulgi replied, holding on tight to your head and moving a little harder. “So you can rest easy.”
"I'm not gonna lie, it makes me a little jealous thinking about another man fucking this pussy someday," you gave her a small spank, and pulled away from her lips to bury your face in her neck, kissing and sucking.
Seulgi moaned, her fingers gripping a handful of your hair. She planted her feet on the seat, and began bouncing hard against your cock. Your office wasn't fully furnished yet, so the smacks echoed off the walls and added to your moans.
"That won't happen for a while," she said, bouncing faster and making you moan against her neck in the process. "In fact, you don't even have to worry about it yet."
Without anything else to say, you sought out her lips again, to fuse them with yours in a messy kiss. Seulgi clung to your neck, and you put an arm behind her waist to lift yourself up with her and sit her on the edge of your desk. She spread her legs, and you placed your hands on the desk and fucked her with the sole intention of making both of you cum as soon as possible.
Seulgi broke the kiss and you looked into each other's eyes. Her face twisted little by little, eyes rolled back and mouth half open until she dropped her head back to cum on your cock. You slowed down as she enjoyed her climax, but you picked it up again just seconds later. Not even a minute passed when you felt yourself about to cum.
"On your knees," you said, and took a step back to get out of her.
Seulgi got off your desk and got on her knees in front of you, looking up at with her tongue out. You stroked your cock, tip pressed against her tongue. A few seconds later you came, shooting your entire load inside her mouth.
“Oh god,” you gasped, slowly moving your hand on your cock as Seulgi took every drop of cum onto her tongue. When you finished, she closed her mouth and swallowed it all without hesitation.
“Do you need help with anything before you go?” she asked, her breathing ragged just like yours. You chuckled at the drastic change in personality.
“Just go turn off the lights in the reception area while I get things organized here,” you said, brushing a strand of sweaty hair off her forehead.
“Okay,” she nodded, and turned away from you to get dressed.
When you both got dressed—or rather, she, because you only had to pull your pants and boxers back up—Seulgi went out to do what you asked and you stayed putting everything back in its place. When you finished, you left your office together, and once outside, you both got into your cars and went your separate ways.
You were glad to know that you were on time. The quickie with Seulgi had barely taken up any time, and you had arrived at the grocery store with plenty of time to spare. Within fifteen minutes, you were already paying, and within twenty minutes, you were already in your apartment.
The first thing you did was leave your things in the kitchen and run to take a shower. When you got out of the bathroom, you got to work cooking dinner, with your hair still wet but well combed so that it didn't look like a bird's nest when it dried. You expected Chaery to come any minute, but at some point you were so wrapped up in your concentration on not screwing up the recipe that you freaked out when you heard the door to your apartment open.
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You looked up at the entrance hallway the moment Lee Chaery made her appearance, being as always the ray of sunshine that made you feel at home, with that beautiful smile and those adorable little eyes that sparkled when she saw you for the first time in several months.
The first thing she did was run towards you, round the kitchen island and go straight into your arms with a cute squeal. You hugged her, and she grabbed your face to plant a big kiss on your lips.
"I'm so happy you're back baby!" she squealed, hugging you again with all her might. Then she pulled away again, and her face changed completely before she slapped you. She didn't hit you hard, she just made you laugh. "But don't ever make the girls lie about something like that again!"
“How did you know?” you tilted your head.
“I saw Aespa’s pictures at the airport the same day,” she replied, holding onto your shoulders. “Do you think I’m stupid or what? And Lia is terrible at lying.”
You sighed. The truth is, you didn’t have much hope for her or Yeji and yet they still managed to disappoint you.
“I should have known better then,” you shrugged. “But I hope what I bought you in America makes you feel better.”
You stepped away from her and went to the dining table, where you had the small box containing her gift. You handed it to her, and as she opened it she raised her eyebrows with her mouth half open as she picked up the bracelet.
“Well?” you asked as she detailed each gemstone on it.
“I
”
Her eyes filled with tears. You instantly became alarmed.
"No no no why are you going to cry sweetie?" you gently grabbed her chin so she would look at you as two tears rolled down each of her cheeks. "You don't like it?"
"I love it darling," Chaery nodded, snuggling into your chest. You sighed in relief, wrapping your arms around her. You had almost forgotten how weepy she was. "It's beautiful, really. Thank you so much."
"I'm glad you like it," you smiled, ruffling her hair. "You know I love you, don't you?"
"Yeah I do," she nodded, clinging to you. She then looked at you and gave you a couple of pecks on the lips. "Almost as much as I love you."
"Would you help me with dinner?" you asked. "I feel like I'll screw something up at any moment and I don't want to."
Chaery giggled, and you felt all your energy restored just by seeing her smile so cutely.
"Sure, come on," she nodded.
Chaery went to leave her stuff on the couch and came back to help you, making the next twenty minutes just the perfect therapy you needed to take a break from all the unbearable drama you'd been a part of the past few days. It all felt like months ago, when you and Chaery lived together like any normal couple and were happy with each other, without worries or third parties bothering you.
But something didn't fit. Every time you got a smile out of her, you seemed to notice that that smile instantly faded too quickly. Her body language wasn't quite right either, and that was especially noticeable in how she always had her eyes downcast, something typical of her when she was worried or sad about something. You thought you knew why beforehand. But you didn't want to say anything so you wouldn't have to be the one to burst the bubble.
"Go set the table, honey, please," you told her, seeing that she was a little disconnected from the kitchen.
"Sure?" she asked.
"Yeah, don't worry," you nodded.
Chaery didn't insist much more. She went to the right and went straight to the dining table to set out the plates and glasses. You stayed there putting the finishing touches on dinner, adding the red wine sauce and caramelized onions to the beef steaks and salting the mashed potatoes a little. With everything ready, you went to the fridge and took out the white wine, a Pouilly-Fuissé that you bought for the occasion. After leaving the bottle in the middle of the table, you brought the pans and cauldrons there as well to serve all the food directly on the plates. Chaery helped you by pouring the wine, and in less than five minutes everything was ready.
You sat on the left side of the table, right in front of Chaery. You hoped to do so with a smile on your face, but Chaery was still disconnected from reality, elbows on the table and chewing on the inside of her lips. You sighed, knowing that this was one of those days where she just wasn't going to talk unless you asked her.
"Honey, what's wrong?" You looked into her eyes, tilting your head.
Chaery looked up at you, but didn't hold her gaze for long.
"Nothing," she shook her head. "Later. I don't want to ruin the moment."
"I can't enjoy the moment if you seem more out than in."
Chaery huffed in frustration and looked at the ceiling. She was going to cry again, and you couldn't do anything to stop her eyes from filling with tears in just a couple of seconds.
"Why didn't you want to see me when you got home?" Chaery blurted out, looking into your eyes. "You like someone else now? Fuck, it's Karina right? I haven't been enough for you all this time?"
Tears started to fall down her cheeks. You knew you'd have to face that problem with her, but you didn't expect her to go so far as to blame herself.
"Huh?" you frowned, bewildered. "Honey, this has nothing to do with you! Don't ever think it does!"
Chaery slammed her hand down on the table and leaned forward.
"Oh don't give me that damn cliché about it not being me and it's you!" she yelled. "I know I deserve better than that!"
You hated yelling in your house, but you took a deep breath to not fight fire with fire. Arguments like that were always best avoided.
"It's not like that, honey, it's not like that," you shook your head. "But the reality is that I do feel like I'm hurting you. My job involves having sex with other people, have you ever wondered how that could end? Are you really telling me that you don't mind seeing me having sex with other girls? Fuck, I even have sex with your members, baby. That shit makes me feel terrible."
Chaery stared at you in silence, more tears falling down her cheeks.
"You made me come here to break up with me so you could feel better about yourself?"
"Baby, can you calm down? Those are not my intentions, I swear," you placed your hand on hers on the table. "I'm just having emotional run-ins, and Noze opened my eyes to wanting to talk things over with you. Just that. You're not the problem, nor do I want to break up with you."
Chaery was finally able to take a deep breath and calm down a bit. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater, and still a little irritated began to eat her steak.
“Go on,” she said, her eyes on her food.
“Well
 I basically had this conversation with Jihye,” you weren’t going to tell her that it was in your hotel room, that would lead to more questions that you’d rather not address at the moment. “And something I mentioned led to her making me realize that I’m only fooling myself,” you looked down with a lump in your throat, remembering the real reason for that conversation in the first place. “Not just me, but everyone close to me. And that’s because my job requires me to always give a part of myself to my clients. And
 and
”
Chaery interrupted you by reaching across the table and reaching the side of your face, caressing it affectionately with her thumb. Looking up you were met with her face already softened, but still teary-eyed.
“Oh honey, you are a very, very silly man,” she said, shaking her head slightly from side to side. "You're right, I don't know if I've thought too much about the future, but I know that right now I want to be with you. I know that I might not understand you completely, but it's not like my job doesn't come with the same problems. It's different, yes. But it's a commitment at the end of the day."
"But doesn't it bother you that sometimes I can't spend time with you because I'm... you know, with other people?"
Chaery let out a heavy breath and stood up to go stand beside you. She grabbed your face, made you look up at her and planted a small peck on your lips.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't," she said, running a hand through your hair. "But I already knew what you did before I catched feelings for you," she booped your nose. "You've always made me feel special, and our time together is too. Besides, we all come with good and bad things."
She hugged you, and you clung to her waist, face pressed against her abdomen. You closed your eyes and breathed in relief, just enjoying her scent. That conversation could’ve ended worse, but right now it was going kinda smooth.
“Eat, sweetheart,” Chaery told you with a light scratch on the back of your neck. “Your food is going to get cold.”
You let go of her and were finally able to take your first look at your food. Chaery went back to her seat as you cut a piece of steak and brought it to your mouth.
“I can’t predict the future, no one can,” Chaery said, sitting down. “Maybe this won’t be enough for me someday, but I’m not worried about that possibility. I only care about us right now.”
“You’re too cute for me, Lee Chaeryeong,” you said, after swallowing the first bite of steak. “You’re too cute for this world, I dare say.”
A small smile formed on Chaery’s face.
“Then consider yourself lucky,” she said, and winked at you before beginning to eat as well.
“I already do,” you replied with a chuckle.
And yes, you always did. Every day. For quite a few reasons.
With that out of the way for now, the two of you were free to enjoy dinner in peace. Chaery went back to being the smiley, fun girl you knew, allowing you to catch up on all the things that had happened over the past few months, both in her life and yours. Yours was considerably more dramatic, but she had a few music show gossips from her Cake promotions that were pure fire.
After dinner, you spent the night like any couple would in a normal situation. Of course, your situation was anything but normal, but that didn’t stop you from enjoying each other’s company. First, you laid on the couch watching TikToks for like two hours, and then you played poker card games for like another two. The fun ended when Chaery got sleepy, and if she wanted to go to bed, you went without a fuss.
You were already lying in bed, in shorts and a hoodie as you waited for Chaery, who was doing her stuff in the bathroom. She emerged ten minutes later, in nothing but a black crop top and a pair of pink panties. Months might pass, but you never failed to go crazy for those toned abs and thighs, and Chaery knew it.
"Did you miss this view?" Chaery asked, walking over to you. Reaching the edge right next to you, she turned around and lifted her butt cheeks with her fingers to tease you.
"Oh what do you fucking thing?" you replied, and instinctively grabbed her hips to plant your face in her ass and pepper her butt cheeks with kisses.
Chaery giggled. She let you be happy for a few seconds until she turned around and pushed you by your shoulders back onto the pillow.
"Hey, hey, what do you think you're doing?" Chaery asked, bringing one knee up onto the bed and then laying against the side of your body, her thigh over your abdomen. She kissed you, and you wrapped your arms around her tight body. The kiss got intense within seconds, and you were already groping her ass when she pulled away and rolled over you to reach her side of the bed. "Nu-uh sweetie."
"Oh come on!" you whined with a desperate giggle, even kicking your feet.
"I'm sorry but you have to be in shape for this weekend, baby," she said, getting under the covers and turning her back to you, something she always did to get you to cuddle her from behind. "The girls would kill me if I took you out of concentration for the pool party."
"Not even...?" you ventured. "Not even a little?"
"Nope."
You sighed, harder than a rock under your shorts, but decided not to push her and cuddled her from behind, burying your face in the back of her neck.
"For the record, I'm not going to have any mercy on you when I catch you," you murmured, closing your eyes.
"Uhh, I'm so scared," Chaery replied, and then giggled. "Give me a kiss and let me sleep, okay?"
Chaery turned her face towards you, and you lifted yours to give her a couple of kisses on the lips goodnight.
"I love you sweetie," you said, and settled back down. "Good night."
"I love you too, darling," Chaery replied, intertwining her fingers with yours. "Get a good night's sleep."
The rest of the week was exhaustingly boring. Just meetings with different labels and Gunwook, who kept instructing you on how to behave and how to handle yourself in certain situations within the game that you were once again, unfortunately, a part of. You didn't like starting to think like a man in a suit, but what choice did you have? It was that or lose everything. Sacrifices had to be made from time to time. And to be honest, you were willing to make any sacrifice as long as you didn't lose the life you had.
The funniest thing was finding a package outside your apartment the day before the party when you got home. Opening it, you immediately recognized it as a classic Ryujin move. It was a box filled with fresh fruit, especially pineapple slices, with a little note that said: 'I hope you come with a big appetite tomorrow.'
Now, you were excited, yes, but part of you was terrified of how you were going to survive nine horny people together. Something similar had happened in that hotel room with the Aespa backup dancers and the girls, or on the plane with them and Jihye. But this time it was nine fucking people, nine. Almost double what you had tried so far. All of those experiences felt like triathlons. What the fuck would this be? Climbing Mount Everest with nothing but slippers and a wooden stick?
May God bless you and give you strength, because it felt like a divine test.
As if the pineapple slices weren't enough, that same night when you went to sleep and could finally check your phone in peace, you found text messages from each of the girls who would be attending the party, a mix of dirty messages, nudes, and teasing about keeping up the pace tomorrow. You had excellent material for some self-fun before bed, but you did a great job of willpower to be 100% tomorrow.
The day of the party finally arrived. That morning you woke up late by your standards, 11PM compared to an unfailing 8AM. But you were quick to eat breakfast and get ready to go out and do all the things you had to do before going to the girls' house.
You didn't want to get there empty-handed, so on the way you stopped by a liquor store to buy beer and soju. While you were paying you received a voice message from Karina and Yeji, asking you why you were taking so long and telling you to hurry up. They also attached a single-view photo, which when opened was a panoramic photo of the pool, where all the girls were naked at different spots.
But there was someone else in the photo that you didn't recognize since she had her back turned. She had short, dark brown hair, and a deliciously fleshy body, especially in her thighs.
The fun was going to be crazy, for sure.
After paying for the beer and soju you hurried to your car, left the bags on the passenger seat and stepped on the accelerator to the girls' house.
You arrived in a little over five minutes. After parking right in front of the entrance, you grabbed the bags and got out of the car to go ring the bell. About thirty seconds later Beelzebub and Astaroth opened the door.
"Clothes off immediately!" Ryujin said, grabbing your shirt to pull you inside.
"This house is a no clothes zone all day," Minjeong said, closing the door.
You closed your eyes and let out a heavy sigh as one stripped you from the waist up and the other from the waist down. You knew those two were going to get along, but not this well. It was terrifying to think of what they could be capable of together.
After stripping, you grabbed the bags again and followed them through the garage area and up the stairs, then you turned right, and up another flight of stairs to reach the first floor, where you only had to go through a small hall to get inside the house.
You walked straight out to the pool area right in front, and you didn't know under what rock to hide in when all the girls squealed in excitement when they saw you had arrived. You avoided eye contact with everyone, and with a nervous smile you ran back inside to drop off the bags, leaving behind a round of laughter and chatter.
But as you set foot in the area that comprised both the kitchen and the living room, you noticed a person sitting to your right, on the large couch you once fucked Ryujin on while all the other girls slept. Turning to see who it was, you froze, both from fear and nerves.
Im Nayeon. TWICE's leader and entertainment industry icon, completely naked, one meaty leg crossed over the other and her back straight as she looked at her phone with her lips curved into a small smile. It took her a few seconds to notice your presence.
"Oh, hello," she told you, putting the phone down.
You were flabbergasted, the words blurring in your mouth. That to-die-for body of hers wasn't helping your concentration either.
"A-Ah, uh..." you stuttered, and closed your eyes for a moment to gather your thoughts. "Oh my god, hello," you bowed.
Nayeon giggled, bowing back in her seat.
"There are nine more naked women out there," she said, staring at you. "Why are you getting nervous around me?"
"Because I didn't expect you to be here," you replied. "And well... it's my first time seeing you in person and you're already naked."
Just then you felt someone hug you from behind, a pair of perky tits against your back. Glancing over your shoulder, Yeji gave you a peck on the cheek.
“Consider yourself lucky for skipping all the stages required to see me naked then,” Nayeon replied, now looking at Yeji behind you. “Thank her; she said she was going to top our pool parties, and I couldn’t miss something like that.”
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do it on purpose,” Yeji said, taking your bags from you to go bring them to the kitchen island counter. “It’s easy to get you to do things when it involves competitiveness.”
One more person came in with you, and just from glancing at her you already knew who it was.
“Oh, I see you’ve already met,” Rina said, coming up beside you to take your hand and give you a kiss on the cheek. “Everything okay? Did you have breakfast?”
“Yup, everything’s okay,” you nodded, grabbing her waist to kiss her back.
“Oh, you guys are a couple?” Nayeon asked. You didn’t quite understand why.
You and Rina looked at each other with frowns, equally confused. Then you looked at her.
“No?” you both answered.
“Why do you think that?” Rina asked.
“I don’t know, you two look cute together,” Nayeon shrugged.
You took it in good humor, with a friendly giggle. But Rina looked away, probably blushing.
“Hey, do you want some beers?” Yeji asked from the fridge. Turning around you saw that the entire freezer section of the fridge was packed.
“Were you waiting for me?” you asked, also noticing that there were no empty cans anywhere.
"Yeah, we wanted to be together before we started having fun," Yeji replied, pulling out four beers. "You know why."
Yeji came back to you and handed you the beers.
"Why don't you come sit with me?" Nayeon asked. "You have things to update me on. All three of you."
"Me?" you asked, and sat to her right, not too close, at least a leg's length away from you. Yeji sat to her left, and Rina sat to your right. She did stick close to you, thigh to thigh.
"Yeah, you," Nayeon nodded after taking a sip of her beer. "You fucked every single one of us here except me, you must have some interesting things to say."
And you did. The next 40 minutes were based on you and Rina telling anecdotes about the tour, which weren't exactly few. It was perfect, because every few minutes the girls would join you there to add details to the stories, until you were all inside the living room or outside, right on that side of the pool.
But you could already smell that everything was about to get out of hand. Nayeon was really smooth about it, but you could tell she was slowly getting closer to you, until your thigh was pressed against hers. Before that you weren't particularly turned on, but when she put her hand on your thigh near your cock it got hard in a matter of seconds.
Nayeon hadn't noticed yet, neither had Yeji or Karina. But the other girls had, and just to tease you they started doing things they knew would make you extremely horny. Ryujin, Minjeong, and Yuna went to a corner to make out and grope each other; Ning, Lia, and Aeri were at the edge of the pool, splashing water on each other with lots of physical contact, and Chaery was next to Yeji, giving her little kisses on the shoulders and neck.
You were trying your best to hide the fact that you were throbbing, but Nayeon only had to move her hand a little to find your erection.
"Oh, what's this?" Nayeon said, looking down at your cock and running a finger from the base to the tip. "I was starting to wonder how long it would take for you to get hard. Was it me?"
Rina placed a hand on your thigh and gently caressed it, bringing her face to your neck to kiss it.
“You were a key factor, yes,” you nodded, looking Nayeon in the eyes and then scrutinizing her body. “But those sluts over there don’t help.”
Nayeon looked at what you were pointing at with your chin. Ryujin, Minjeong, and Yuna—you’d call them the demonic trio—had gotten a little carried away, and now Minjeong was sitting on Ryujin’s thigh, while she kissed her neck and rubbed her pussy. Yuna was sitting next to Ryujin, sucking on Minjeong’s tits. On the other hand, Ning was sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water; Aeri was in the water, between Ning’s legs, and Lia was sitting next to her while she kissed her. Nayeon finally turned to the left, to see Chaery and Yeji kissing.
"Wow, that was fast," Nayeon laughed, and looked at you.
"Yeah, that's how it is with those girls," you shrugged.
"And we're the only ones not kissing," she mentioned, and rubbed your cock and balls with the palm of her hand.
"Can I?" you asked.
"Can I what, boy? Kiss me? Touch me? Fuck me?" Nayeon raised an eyebrow.
"All of them."
Nayeon chuckled, and wrapped her fingers around your cock to rub it slowly.
"Come here then."
You lunged at her and crashed your lips together. Nayeon grabbed the left side of your neck with her free hand, while slowly stroking your cock with the other. You reached your left arm behind her waist and gripped your fingers to the side of her body, enjoying the soft flesh she had there. You placed your right hand on her belly, and from there she spread her legs a little so you could move down to her pussy and rub it.
Rina added her hand to Nayeon's on your cock, rubbing the base and your balls. She moaned against your neck entirely on purpose, trying to successfully get your engine going. Her tits pressed against your side also played a role in that.
A few seconds after tasting Nayeon's delicious lips you broke the kiss and turned to the other side to focus on Rina. You wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her into a kiss. She moaned against your lips—this time for real—, and spread her legs for you to touch her pussy like you were doing with Nayeon.
Nayeon didn't waste any time and got off the couch to kneel between your legs, seconds later, you felt her tongue run up from the base of your cock to the tip and then be caught between her lips. To your left you felt Yeji take Nayeon's place, but you didn't feel her hands on you, you only heard her muffled moans in the middle of a kiss with Chaery.
You kissed Rina for a few more seconds until you pulled away and turned around out of pure curiosity. Chaery was straddling Yeji, making out while Yeji groped her all over. Yeji noticed your gaze and broke the kiss. Chaery looked at you too, and instinctively you leaned in to join in a three-way kiss with the two of them.
Nayeon had taken half of your cock into her mouth, and was slowly pumping her head up and down. Rina was quick to settle down lying on her side on the couch, and waited for her turn to also suck you off while you battled with Yeji and Chaery's tongues and lips.
With your hands free again you turned your torso towards the two of them. You placed your left hand on the back of Yeji's neck, and your right hand went to Chaery's ass to squeeze it and spank it. Then you brought the same hand between her buttocks to rub her folds.
"Who's gonna want me to eat their pussy first?" you asked between gasps, since Nayeon and Rina were enjoying sucking your cock together.
"Let it be Chaery," Yeji replied. "I want your cock in my mouth for a little while."
Chaery immediately got off Yeji and stood up on the couch to stand right in front of you, with her feet on either side of your hips and her pussy level with your face. Yeji laid down on your left side, and as she added her mouth to your cock, you grabbed Chaery's ass and made her press her pussy against your mouth.
Your girlfriend moaned, hands in your hair to tangle her fingers there and grab handfuls of it. You squeezed her firm ass, massaging both cheeks and eating her pussy with an insatiable hunger that was entirely due to her chastity with you a few days ago. Meanwhile, the three oldest of their respective groups were feasting on your cock. Your line of vision was blocked, but you knew that none of the three mouths left your shaft for even a second. They were licking, sucking your balls, pumping their lips up and down at different speeds, and kissing with your tip in between.
The house was soon filled with moans, not just from Chaery, but also from the rest of the girls who were having fun on their own. At that moment you wished you had eyes all over your body, just so you could see what was going on with all of them, but you only had two, and they were focused on staring at your girlfriend as you ate her pussy.
You reached up with one hand and added two fingers inside Chaery, slowly pumping faster and faster. Your tongue quickly worked on her clit as well. Within a minute, thanks to both of your stimuli, you had her cumming against your mouth, thighs shaking.
After a small peck to her pussy and her orgasm passed, she settled down and clung to the sides of your body with both knees to grab your face and kiss you. You wrapped your arms around her body, moaning against her lips and then moaning louder when you felt the warmth of a pussy against your tip. As you pulled away from the kiss and looked over Chaery's shoulder, you saw Nayeon with her back to you, leaning on your knees as Yeji lined your cock up with her pussy. Nayeon just had to inch her wide hips down, and within seconds her plump pussy was engulfing every inch of your shaft.
“Oh you weren’t fucking lying huh?” Nayeon asked, you didn’t know who to as she was staring at the ceiling. Her ass reached your pelvis soon after, making you moan at how warm her pussy felt inside.
“I never lie, unnie,” Yeji replied.
“Of course not,” you chimed in. “You suck at it. So what for?”
Chaery and Rina laughed. Nayeon was too enthralled by your cock that you were sure she didn’t even pay attention to what you said.
“Shut up ashole!” Yeji slapped your thigh, making you laugh for only a moment, because right away Nayeon started bouncing up and down on your cock.
Chaery kissed you again, forcing you to stop looking at Nayeon. You grabbed her by the waist, and brought two fingers back inside her pussy to pump them at full speed. She squealed against your lips, hugging your head tightly until you made her cum again. Then she collapsed to the left and fell on top of Yeji, who complained because she had hit her with her elbow in the ribs.
With Chaery on the far left of the couch you had a clear view again, not only of Nayeon, but also of the rest of the scene. The girls had already interspersed themselves with each other. At the edge of the pool, Aeri, Ryujin and Lia were together. Ryujin having her pussy eaten by Aeri and letting Lia use her face as a seat. Not far away, just to the left of the fireplace, Yuna was filling every part of Ning's body with kisses. The only one you didn't see was Minjeong, but that was because you hadn't noticed that she was walking towards Chaery, to straddle her and give her cuddles and kisses.
You didn't understand what the fuck was going on. But it felt like the festival of fucking debauchery.
Rina and Yeji were kissing above your abdomen, and Nayeon was bouncing hard and fast against your cock. The bumps of her ass against your pelvis took the air out of you for a second, but that pussy felt so good that you didn't care.
You didn't know whose idea it was because between so many moans you couldn't hear them, but Rina and Yeji changed positions to be on their backs and with their legs facing you. They raised their feet at the same time, presenting them on either side of your face. The invitation was clear, and you didn't hesitate to accept it. You sucked Yeji's toes first, then moved on to Rina's. This went on for a few long seconds until Nayeon gave a hard downward thrust and came on your cock.
"Oh god it feels so goood!" Nayeon moaned, moving slowly as she shuddered with slight spasms.
Nayeon stood up on still slightly shaky legs, turned around, and straddled you to kiss you again, hands on your shoulders and her pussy pressed against your juice-soaked cock. It was the perfect time to run your hands all over her body, every corner possible, but you particularly fixated on her waist, ass, and thighs.
"Unnie, move," Rina said to the right. "My turn."
Nayeon reluctantly broke the kiss.
"I'm not done with you," she told you. "I'm far from done, actually."
"Me neither," you replied. "I have a couple of ways I want to fuck you."
She grabbed your neck and licked your lips.
"I'll be waiting for you then."
Nayeon got off you and went to Yeji, who was already waiting for her with her legs spread. Rina took Nayeon's place on top of you, but she grabbed your cock and directly impaled herself slowly on it. As she lowered her hips, she grabbed your face and kissed you. You held her close, both arms around her waist until you were fully inside her. You sank down into the seat a little, so that when you broke away from her lips, you had her tits in front of your face, perfect for taking them into your mouth.
Rina started moving, nice and slow at first and then quicker, bouncing her tits against your mouth. You grabbed her ass, urging her to move faster and faster. Several spanks fell, making her whimper in pleasure and move her hips like an expert. A minute later, she planted her feet on the couch and began squatting on your cock, hard and fast while you groped her tits.
She came within seconds, but you instantly took the reins and began pumping your hips up and down, fucking her like crazy through her orgasm, hands under her ass as you stared at her. Maybe you got a little too lost in how hypnotic her facial expressions were, as you didn't notice when she came the second time and when you did.
"Oh fuck!" you groaned, realizing that you were shooting a huge load inside her. "I'm-"
"Don't you dare say you're sorry because that's exactly what I wanted," Rina moaned, shaking on top of you from her own orgasm and also the pleasure that you always gave her when you came inside her.
"Well, a little warning never hurts," you said, pulling her back to you for a kiss.
"You don't have to warn me about anything," Rina said against your lips. "I'm your cumslut and I'm happy to be."
You chuckled into the kiss, holding her tight to you.
"You better get off me, or we'll reinforce Nayeon's suspicions."
"Suspicions of what?" she asked. "We're not dating."
"No, but she’s an annoying woman sometimes."
Rina laughed, and gave you a peck on the nose that was sure to be the defining proof for Nayeon, but luckily she didn't see it.
“You have no idea,” she said, then climbed off you.
Looking to your left you found Nayeon kneeling on the floor again, eating out a spread-eagled Yeji’s pussy. Minjeong and Chaery were right next to her, your girlfriend surprisingly topping Minjeong as they scissored. You stood up and stood behind Nayeon.
“I got this,” you told her, a hand on her shoulder. “I recommend using Minjeong’s face as a chair, she’s a very good girl.”
Nayeon looked at you and then looked at Minjeong, who was moaning like crazy thanks to Chaery’s hellish pelvic thrusts, which you knew better than anyone were lethal.
“She is?” she asked, amused.
“Oh you have no idea,” you smirked. "I fucked her tied up one night at her request. You should have seen her."
"Too bad we don't have ropes handy, that would be fun," Nayeon said, and you helped her stand up so she could sit on Minjeong's face, and not only that, she also kissed Chaery in the meantime, both of them now grinding their hips on different parts of Minjeongie.
You now had Yeji all to yourself. She looked into your eyes, a seductive smile from ear to ear.
"Are you craving something?" she asked, running her fingers between her folds to tease you.
You fell to your knees between her legs. The couch was too low for you to reach her pussy comfortably with your mouth. Instead, you placed one hand on her left thigh and pushed two fingers inside her, all the way until your knuckles were barely out.
"How long has it been since I last fingered you to tears?" you asked, slowly pumping your wrist.
"Too long than I'd like," she replied with a gasp, and glanced over your shoulder at someone. "Oh, look who we have here."
You then felt a pair of firm tits pressed against your back, then a pair of arms wrap around you, one hand caressing your abdomen and the other your cock. Glancing over your shoulder you were met with Ning's sweet gaze, which always showed nothing but love and affection towards you.
"Oh hello sweetheart," you smiled, and reached back to subtly grab her head and plant a couple of kisses on her lips.
"Hey, my love," Ning told you with a small smile. "Go ahead and make her cry."
You looked back at Yeji and started pumping your wrist faster. Ning made sure your cock was getting back to full hardness little by little, being as gentle as possible with you as she pressed kisses to your back and held you close with her free arm. When you regained your erection, Ning spit on her hand and brought it back to your cock to stroke it very slowly. By then, both of your fingers were going in and out so fast that Yeji didn't even know what face to make. It was so much pleasure that she rolled her eyes, holding onto her own thighs until she came. However, you kept going, just as fast and hard, making her pussy sound like a pool splashing from how wet it was.
"Oh my fucking god!" Yeji growled, arching her back and biting her fist. Her mouth was permanently open, and her body paralyzed with pleasure until you made her cum for the second time. But you kept going and going, like a machine that never got tired. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!" she screamed.
She brought her hands to her face for a second, desperate for not having anything to hold on to or a place to muffle her screams. When she pulled her hands away she looked at you with eyes full of tears, which began to fall in no time. Her face was a fucking wonder; she hadn't worn much makeup that day, but you were sure that she was almost as ruined as she was.
Yeji closed her eyes tightly and let more tears run down her cheeks. She pounded her fists at her sides, and between screams she writhed as if she were possessed before exploding with an intense squirt that you didn't expect.
"Oh lord!" Ning said from behind you, watching as Yeji had soaked your entire torso and was still letting out small streams in the midst of a climax that was melting her into the couch.
“I was hoping this would happen a little later, I’m not going to lie,” you said, and pulled your fingers out from inside Yeji. Your right arm was shaking a little; you had used a good amount of strength there.
"What did you expect?" Ning asked you, making you turn to her. You sat down on your ankles and grabbed her waist. "I've never seen you finger someone so hard before."
"She deserved it," you shrugged.
"And me?" Ning gently cupped your face and planted a couple of loving kisses. "I don't deserve a good fuck from my boy?"
"And don't even think about leaving me out," you heard a voice to your left. The voice of one of the three demons.
You turned around to find Shin Yuna crawling towards you like she was a damn cat hunting you. She came to your side, and grabbed your cock to give you a little lick on the chin.
"Do you know how much I missed you daddy?" she asked with a giggle, giving your cock a few strokes, and then looked at Ning. "Would you mind sharing him with me, Nini?"
"You'll do whatever you want anyway," Ning shrugged. "You're exactly like Minjeongie."
"Is that a compliment?"
"Not exactly."
"Me what?" you heard the voice of another of the demons.
"Oh my god..." you muttered to yourself, closing your eyes. By the time you opened them again, Kim Minjeong was standing right behind you, pussy still soaked and hair messy. "Weren't you being choked by a massive ass just now?"
"Well, I made Nayeon unnie cum fast on my face," she replied. "And your cute little girlfriend did wonders with our pussies together."
"And you're not exhausted?"
"Not even a little bit," she shook her head.
"Fine but I came first, bitches," Ning said, and she hugged your head to press your face against her tits. "I know your tricks."
"We weren't going to take priority from you, sweetheart," Minjeong nuzzled her cheek. "We're good girls today."
You couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Hey! What are you laughing at?" Minjeong gave you a tiny kick on the thigh. She then fell to her knees beside you.
"You two are as good girls as I am a nuclear engineer," you said, picking Ning up and carefully laying her down on her back. Luckily the floor wasn't cold, rather warm thanks to the sun.
"Don't be so exaggerated!" Yuna protested. "I've been a good girl to you more than once!"
Ning spread her legs for you and you got between them to top her and shower her neck with kisses.
"I don't remember a single time when you were," you said, trailing kisses down Ning's chest until you reached the pair of tits that fascinated you and brought them to your mouth.
"I was that time when Ryujinie had made you so jealous that you looked like you were about to implode!"
"That time you had no choice," you replied, licking one of Ning's nipples while she stroked your hair. "But I'll give you that."
Minjeong didn't even dare to protest. She knew she didn't have a single argument to make; anything she said would just leave her further in the mud.
You spent a few seconds giving Ning the proper treatment she deserved, which included kisses all over, caresses, and subtlety. After the little foreplay was over, you stood up straight, grabbed your cock, and took it very slowly inside her, making it as enjoyable as possible for her.
Ning sensually arched her back, letting out a long moan as she took every inch inside her. You moved both hands up from her belly to both of her tits, squeezed them, and moved back down to grab her thighs and press them back. Then you started to move your hips, taking every inch in and out.
Minjeong laid down on Ning's right to kiss her, like she so often did when you three fucked together. But this time there was a fourth factor. A factor that was chaotic and always knew how to show how daring she was.
"Daddy, how much did you miss my pretty feet?" Yuna asked, lying down on Ning's left, only she extended both of her legs towards you to put her feet in your face. Those beautiful, sexy feet. "Don't you want a little taste?"
Oh fuck you did. You caught one of them in your mouth and sucked each toe separately, repeating the process with the other foot as you fucked Ning faster and faster. After sucking each toe you moved on to kiss the soles, then the sides, and finally the top; every part of that pair of feet was worthy of being soaked in saliva.
"And mine?" Minjeong asked, as Yuna caressed your chest with one of her feet. She also moved her feet up to your chest. "What about mine daddy? They're pretty too, aren't they?"
They were gorgeous, yes. But you weren't about to say a single word. Not even dead. The last thing you needed was for those two to go at each other, because then they wouldn't let go of you all day. You preferred to play it safe and just grab her leg by the calf and do the same thing you did with Yuna.
After showering Minjeong's feet with kisses, she and Yuna ran both pairs over every possible area of ​​your body, from your abdomen, to your chest and even the sides of your face. A little invasive, perhaps. But with those two in particular, you felt like you were in heaven.
However, your focus at that moment was on your pretty Chinese princess, and you were doing a perfect job of fucking her just at the pace she loved, while also grabbing her by the parts she loved. She looked into your eyes at one point, and that's when you knew you had to get the girls' feet off you to lean forward, brace your hands on the floor, and pound Ning's pussy hard. She clung to your shoulders, loud moans breaking into a cute growl as she came on your cock.
Ning wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you down to kiss her, feeling every single one of her spasms just beneath your body. Not wanting you to pull away so immediately, she wrapped her legs around your torso and trapped you for at least another minute, happy to just kiss you while you remained inside her.
"Hey, wasn't all the nights you slept cuddling with him enough?" Minjeong asked. "Let him go!"
"Ugh you're such a pain in the ass!" Ning whined, pulling away from your lips and releasing you from between her legs.
"Wait a minute right there, daddy," Yuna placed a hand on your chest as you looked at Minjeong. "I haven't had your cock in months. Months! I demand to go first."
"Why can't you wait your turn like everyone else!" Minjeong whined.
"I literally got here before you!"
"Ugh fine!" Minjeong squealed, frowning.
"Ha!" Yuna smiled triumphantly.
"Don't get excited, I'll decide how I want to fuck you," you said.
Yuna let out a laugh.
"You say that like it ever bothers me," she said.
"Fine," you shrugged, and all the roughness you didn't use on Ning you used on her to flip her over and put her on her hands and knees.
Yuna was a good girl, yes, but only when it suited her. In that case, she arched her back, spread her knees, and presented her masterpiece of an ass to you. You moved behind her, placed a hand on her asscheek, and grabbed your cock to now take it inside her. She moaned, looking over her shoulder at you, and you gritted your teeth at the feeling of finally getting back into that tight pussy after what felt like an eternity.
With your hands on her absurdly wide yet sexy hips, you began thrusting at a considerable pace right from the start. Glancing around, you saw that the festival of absolute fucking debauchery was still going strong and on its feet. Occupying the couch now was Aeri, on her hands and knees eating Yeji's pussy, while she had Chaery behind her eating her ass and fingering her pussy. The rest of the girls were in the pool area, and from where you were standing you couldn't tell exactly what was going on since the fireplace wall in the corner blocked your view. You could only see Ryujin on top of Rina as they kissed, but you couldn't see Lia or Nayeon.
Wherever they were, you couldn't stop yourself from trying to figure it out when Yuna's grippy pussy felt this good around your cock. With Yuna you had never been merciful, and this time would not be the exception, much less after so much time without being able to put your hands on her, so you put your hands on her tiny waist and pounded her pussy from behind, hard just like she liked.
Ning took advantage of the situation and laid with her legs spread right in front of Yuna, who being the dirty and naughty girl she was, did not refuse to eat her pussy. Minjeong on the other hand was not satisfied with anything other than your attention. She adopted the same position as Yuna on your right, patiently waiting for her turn but also watching as Yuna ate Ning, also giving her advice on how Ning liked it.
You couldn't give Minjeong the attention she required right now, but you could use your right hand to finger her while she waited. She was momentarily happy with that, but you knew this girl too well by this point, so you could read how she felt just by looking at her eyes, and what they were telling you this time was that she needed you urgently.
Luckily for her, knowing Yuna's weak spots as well, you were able to get her to cum quickly on your cock. You slowed down your thrusts, and let Yuna fuck herself at her own pace against you as she rode out her orgasm. After a little over thirty seconds, you slowly pulled out of her and went to Minjeong, taking your soaked cock inside her as well.
With Minjeong, you didn't have to put in too much effort to get her to cum either, it was enough to fuck her hard for a little while, pulling her hair and treating her as roughly as possible until she clung to Yuna, who was still eating Ning's pussy, and screamed to the four winds before exploding on your cock.
"Funny how I know every single one of your buttons," you chuckled, a hand on Minjeong's lower back. "If I wanted to fuck you quick in a public place it would be easy enough."
Minjeong raised an eyebrow and looked at you over her shoulder, breathing heavily.
"Is that an invitation?" she asked, as you pulled out of her.
"Oh hell nah," you laughed. "Knowing you, you'd scream like a whore just to embarrass me later."
"You know me well then," Minjeong said, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Hey, you, slut," you gave Yuna two slaps at the same time with each hand. She squealed. "Get off and let me have her, she deserves me to cum inside her."
Minjeong knew the reasons why it was useless to protest, so she didn't. But Yuna whimpered and moaned about it as she pulled away. You simply ignored her as it was typical behavior of hers, and laid down next to Ning to make her turn her back to you, lay on top of your arm and take your cock inside to spoon fuck her.
Once again, as you fucked her you completely isolated yourself mentally from whatever was going on around you. You held her tight against you and kissed her. She clung to your forearms, moaning against your lips as you moved faster. A minute later she came for the second time around your cock, and then you put a hand on her waist to with a sudden thrust, cum inside her.
"Mmmm so I deserve you to cum inside me huh?" Ning moaned with a hand on your cheek, as you slowly pumped and filled every corner of her pussy. "And why is that?"
"Because you drive me crazy," you replied between gasps, peppering kisses along her neck and running your hand down her body. "And you do indeed deserve it."
"Can I stay with you at your place tonight?" she asked, lowering her voice so no one else could hear. "We have to leave for Europe soon, so consider it a little goodbye."
"Sure," you nodded. "Though first we have to see if I get out of here in one piece today."
Ning giggled, and gave you another peck on the lips.
"You wanted to come here," she said. "Take the consequences."
"That's not much help," you smiled, and slowly pulled out of her pussy.
"I'm not lying either," she shrugged and patted your face. "Your services are needed in other areas. Better get going baby."
"Good luck with those two," you said, standing up. "Oh, good luck with those three," you corrected yourself with a giggle, watching Ryujin enter from the other side of the pool and approach.
"Why the fuck haven't you fucked me yet?" Ryujin pointed at you, as if she were an anime character. Even her voice resembled it.
"Because we haven't matched up yet," you replied, taking steps back. "But I'll be with you in a moment."
You winked at her, but she took a couple of strides towards you to try and catch you. You barely escaped her grasp, and you both laughed. By the time you turned around, you were in front of the couch and the poundable ass society plus Yeji, in the same layout as a minute ago. You stood next to Chaery, who looked at you biting her lip.
“Could I have a taste?” you asked, referring to Aeri’s ass.
“You have to do it through me first,” Chaery replied, pointing at her lips with her finger. 
You grabbed her face and kissed her without hesitation. Chaery immediately used her tongue, practically taking control herself. She rarely did that, only when she was very, very horny, which due to the circumstances did not surprise you.
Chaery separated you from the kiss with a hand on your chest, looked at Aeri's ass and moved away to give you her place. You sat down, and grabbed Aeri's ass with the entirety of both hands, squeezing it and then dropping a couple of hard spanks. Aeri moaned and looked over her shoulder knowing it was you.
"Fuck, it's about time," she said. "Thank god Chaery was benevolent with me and gave me what I needed."
"Ah, so you don't need it anymore?" you raised an eyebrow.
"No!" she said immediately with a nervous giggle, and then shook her ass to tease you. "No, I didn't say that."
"I thought so," you said, and you sank your mouth right between her ass cheeks to reach her butthole and eat it out like you had done so many times during the tour.
Chaery got off the couch, walked to your left and went to Yeji, asked her something in her ear, kissed her and then climbed up to straddle her face. Yeji grabbed her ass, and you knew she was giving Chaery the same treatment as you were giving Aeri.
While you had your mouth and tongue working on Aeri's ass, you brought your thumb between the folds of her pussy and rubbed them gently until you found that spot you knew she was quite sensitive. Finding it, Aeri moaned against Yeji's pussy and clenched her fingers into her thighs.
Aeri made Yeji cum within seconds, and the biggest beneficiary was Chaery, since Yeji tended to get intense when she came, which meant that all of that positive feedback was received entirely by Chaery and her ass, a pretty sensitive spot for her already.
Just to make Aeri enjoy herself as much as possible you put two fingers inside her wet pussy, and in a combined effort of your tongue in her ass and the pumping of your wrist, you made her cum as well between slight spasms. It wasn't the strongest orgasm you remembered her having by any means, but it would serve as just an appetizer for the moment.
"Uchinaga, would you move your big ass out of here for a moment?" you asked.
"For what?" she asked. "Aren't you planning on fucking my ass?"
"You look pretty eager, girl," you patted her ass. "I've got it all under control."
"Fuck!" Chaery complained.
"What?" you asked.
"There's no lube in the whole house!" she said. “I fucking forgot”.
"Bah, it’s the same! We'll do it raw," Aeri said with a wicked little smile.
"But my ass is too tight for that!"
"Muuuuuuch better."
Aeri gave you her space, and you quickly took it. Chaery then lowered herself off Yeji's face, so you could watch Cheshire's face melt with pleasure as you grabbed your cock and took it inside her. You hadn't choked any of the girls today, and you thought it was perfect that Yeji was the first, so you leaned forward, grabbed both of your hands around her neck, and squeezed as you began to pump.
You were still a little sensitive, so it took you a while to get into a pace. But when you did, you were pretty rough with Yeji, not only squeezing her neck but also slapping her gorgeous face and spitting inside her mouth. When she finally came, you let go of her neck, and to comfort her, you leaned towards her and showered her blushing face with kisses.
"If you'll excuse me, I have a couple of asses to fuck, cutie," you said to Yeji, who was so ruined that she couldn't even respond with words. She just nodded slightly.
As you stood up and saw where Chaery and Aeri were, you were pleasantly surprised to see them on all fours on the couch, both of them holding onto the back of the couch with their hands as they kissed and fingered each other. You had to bend your knees a little in order to be level with their asses, but you didn't mind.
Chaery was the one chosen to go first. You were actually a little scared, since you'd never tried to do it without lube with her, which is why you were as careful as possible. She had a hard time, and you were only able to fit half of your shaft inside, but that was enough for both of you to enjoy. Of course, it wasn't the same, but it felt incredibly good in its own way.
After fucking your girlfriend's ass for a minute and a half at a pace that wasn't too hard so as not to hurt her, you switched to Aeri. Unlike Chaery, Aeri didn't show an ounce of pain as you slowly drove your saliva-lubricated cock into her butthole until it was only a couple of inches out. In light of this, you fucked her considerably faster and harder than Chaery, with your hands on her waist and filling her ass with spicy spanks.
The rest of the at least five minutes were based on that, you switching from ass to ass every so often to fuck both equally, in an experience that had you moaning like crazy too. The first to cum was Chaery, as typically always happened. And soon Aeri joined her, both of them kissing while the Japanese girl was now orgasming hard.
When Uchinaga's climax passed, you grabbed your girlfriend and made her stand up with you, to grab her by the thighs and make her jump so that she clung to your torso with her legs. You wrapped your arms around her, holding her tight, and she wrapped her arms around your neck to kiss you. Now instead of entering her ass, you entered her pussy.
Chaery moaned against your lips and tangled a hand in strands of your hair. You pumped your hips up and down, your hands permanently gripping her ass cheeks, fucking her pussy as hard as you had warned her nights before. But from her pussy you quickly moved to her butthole again. After a few pumps there, you moved back to her pussy, and so on until your girlfriend came in your arms.
"You left me last to give me a load didn't you?" Chaery asked, showering the entire left side of your face with kisses as she shook from her orgasm and you slowly pumped in and out of her pussy. "Is that how considerate my cute boyfriend is to me?"
"What do you think?" you asked against her lips, switching back to her ass. "I can't cum ten times without dying, so I have to measure my actions."
"Alright megamind, I don't know what you're waiting for to cum in my ass then," Chaery bit your bottom lip, and dug her nails into your scalp as you continued to fuck her like crazy.
The long-awaited moment arrived in no time. You moaned loudly, and threw your head back as you exploded inside your girlfriend's ass. Chaery peppered your neck with kisses, subtly biting every part she could to mark her territory, and you slowly moved up and down your cock, filling that tight hole with your load.
"It was worth the wait, don't you think?" Chaery asked in your ear, making you remember last night. 
"Oh, quite," you nodded between gasps, already tired but needing to go on a little longer. "But don't do that again, please."
"Do what?"
"Tease me and then leave me with a boner, I hate it."
Chaery giggled and gave you peck after peck on the lips, caressing the hair on the back of your neck.
"You're a crybaby."
"You have no right to say that. Zero."
"At least I don't have to cry over boners," she stuck her tongue out at you. "You fuck me without complaint."
"That's because you take advantage of my weakness for you," you said, walking with her to the couch. "It's not fair."
"Well that's all your fault, I never force you to do anything," Chaery said as you placed her on the couch, next to Yeji and Aeri as the two of them kissed each other.
"No, but you always know what to do to make me do it," you gave her a peck on the lips. "Which means you're an expert at manipulating me and therefore, it's your fault."
"Yeah whatever," she waved her hand nonchalantly, then pointed outside. "Look, they're calling you."
You turned around and looked towards the pool. The rest of the girls were all outside, including Ning, and Ryujin and Minjeong were calling you to come over. You did so, and as soon as you set foot where the sun was shining, the two of them latched onto you and started kissing you all over.
"Well hello again," you gasped, wrapping your arms around the two of them.
Nearby were the rest of the girls. Rina and Yuna were scissoring each other, both propped up on their elbows. Nayeon was on top of Yuna, her face above the other two girls' pussies as Yuna ate her out. A little further away, Lia was fingering Ning, sucking on her tits and watching her moan.
Ryujin and Minjeong each grabbed the side of your neck, moving down your chest and abdomen until they were kneeling in front of you. They brought their mouths to your still limp cock, kissing it carefully as they knew you must still be sensitive. Patience was not exactly their thing, but they took good care of you nonetheless, caressing your thighs and kissing you until they managed to get you hard again.
"You better take advantage of me right now, because after this time I'll be completely drained," you told them.
"Mmm, how about you fuck our faces daddy?" Ryujin asked, grabbing your cock by the base to lick the underside. "And then you have to fuck me. It's not optional."
"I accept," you said, and grabbed the back of her head to guide your cock into her mouth.
Ryujin moaned around your shaft, taking as much of it into her mouth as she could until you began to pump slowly. While you did, Minjeong watched from close by, licking her lips, and you didn't make her wait too long. As you now entered Minjeong's mouth, Ryujin bent a little to get between the two of you and catch your balls in her mouth, sucking on them until you began to move faster.
From mouth to mouth, gradually to faster pumps, you made that pair of demons a messy mess of saliva spilling from each mouth. You forced them both to deepthroat you, first Ryujin, who took you with a few gags but without much complication, and then Minjeong, who did choke on your cock but enjoyed it.
After a few seconds you stepped back, your cock soaked in a thick mix of saliva from both of them. You looked at Ryujin, and grabbed her to help her stand up. Then you turned her around, wrapping your left arm around her to press her against you and taking your cock to bring it between her ass cheeks and penetrate her pussy.
"Oh I missed you so much daddy," Ryujin moaned, reaching back to cling to the back of your neck. Every inch of your cock slid easily inside her, making you both moan. "Don't leave me for that long again please. Not having your cock is torture."
"Unfortunately, that's not up to me anymore, sweetness," you said in her ear, wrapping your arms around her body to press her back against your chest and start pumping.
"I don't care," she said between moans, subtly tugging at your hair as you ran one hand to her neck and the other between her legs to rub her pussy. "I'll visit you anywhere, it doesn't matter if it's your place or your office."
Minjeong entered the equation as well. She stood in front of Ryujin and knelt down, bringing her face to her crotch and removing your hand so she could be the one stimulating Ryujin's clit, only with her tongue.
Ryujin instantly went crazy, undecided on where to grab onto, whether it was Minjeong's head between her legs, or the hand you had on her cute tummy, or the hand you had lightly squeezing her neck. In the end she opted for Minjeong's head, pulling on her hair until you made her cum.
"Fuck!" Ryujin whined, humping against you on shaky, spasming legs. "Don't you want to give me your last load, daddy? I was a good girl today."
"I'm not close yet, baby," you panted. "And Julia still hasn't gotten any love from me."
"Ugh, so annoying!" she whined, and let go of Minjeong's head to let her breathe.
The three of them were identical. It was amazing. She, Minjeong, and Yuna should all be in a special sub-unit, because it would definitely be the bomb.
"Sorry baby," you gave her a peck on the neck, and pulled out of her to go straight to Lia, who was still with Ning near the right edge of the pool. On the way you were forced to completely ignore the sensual way Rina, Yuna and Nayeon were fucking, because otherwise you weren't going to get to your little guardian angel.
Lia and Ning just seemed to be talking and resting while looking at the sky. You laid down with them, right next to Lia, to put an arm over both of them and hug them.
"You don't hate me for leaving you last, do you?" you asked, giving Lia little kisses on the shoulder.
"Nah, I'm perfectly fine, honey," Lia nodded, and gave you a little kiss on the forehead and another on the cheek. "How's everything? Are you having a good time?"
"I'm having a blast," you nodded.
"I'm glad," she smiled at you.
"Nini, nini!" you heard Yuna coming with you. She helped Ning to her feet. "Come!"
Poor Ning had no choice but to let Yuna lead her, leaving you alone with Lia. It was kinda perfect for the moment.
"So?" you asked, running your hand from her breasts to her pussy to rub it slowly. "How do you want me to fuck you?"
"I wouldn't mind staying just like this," Lia replied, and she adjusted herself to press her entire back against you. She also raised her head so you could slide your arm under it. "I've had my boy away for a long time; I think it's best to have him as close as possible."
At that moment another girl lay down behind you. From the way she hugged you and the size of her tits pressed against your back, you knew it was Rina. So you took advantage of the fact that they were together with you to open your heart a little.
"God, you know how much I love you two, don't you?" you said, looking at Lia and then at Rina over your shoulder.
"Of course we do," Rina nodded, pressed tightly against you as she peppered your back with kisses.
"If we didn't know, we wouldn't take such good care of you all the time," Lia said, giving you pecks on your jaw and cheek. "And we love you too, cutie."
Despite the cute, endearing moment, Lia was grinding her ass against your cock over and over, urging you to hurry up and enter her. You kissed her, and brought a hand between your bodies to cup your cock, press it between her ass cheeks, and seek her pussy to slowly take every inch inside.
"Oh dear fucking god," you moaned. Few things felt as silky as Lia's pussy, and you hadn't realized how much you'd missed it until now.
You began to move slowly, your face buried in her neck and your fingers circling her clit, matching the rhythm of your thrusts. Rina lifted one leg over you, and gripped her thigh to the side of your body to rub her pussy against your lower back. Hearing her moans behind you made you break away from Lia's lips and turn your head over your shoulder to kiss her as well.
Lia moaned as she lay against your arm, her body slightly leaning forward to give you a view of her sweaty back as you pounded her pussy faster and faster. Within seconds she was back against your chest, and lifted one leg to hold it with one hand behind her knee. You then planted your feet on the floor, just so you could fuck her as fast as you could.
Rina seemed to still be in her little bubble isolated from the two of you, even though she was using your lower back to rub her pussy like you were one of those cylindrical shaped pillows. That didn't bother you at all tho, especially since she was constantly rubbing her equally sweaty tits against your back.
Lia pulled you back in for a kiss, muffling cute moans against your lips, one hand gripping your left wrist and the other still holding her own leg up. About a minute later she climaxed, squealing and shaking. She pushed her hips all the way back, letting every inch of your shaft be inside her as she rode out her orgasm. You wished you could keep going and cum inside her, but you only had one person in mind that you wanted to give that last load to.
Rina still didn't cum behind you, though, so you pulled out of Lia, spun around, and faced Yoo Jimin. She kissed you immediately, and pulled her thigh back up to the side of your body to hug you. You just had to finish the job, taking two fingers inside her and fingering her until she came in a moaning, shaking mess.
After making Rina cum, you stood up from that sandwich with only one target in mind. The target in question was on her back, being eaten by Yuna and used as a seat by Ning. You didn't see Ryujin or Minjeong out there; they had probably gone inside with the others, but that only narrowed your attention to just those three girls.
"I'm so sorry, girls, but I need her right now," you said, standing next to them.
Ning didn't hesitate to get off of Nayeon's face, who looked at you with dilated pupils and a half-open mouth. She only looked into your eyes for two seconds, because the rest of the time she could only see your cock. Great, because you couldn't stop looking at those perfect, fleshy thighs.
Yuna didn't pay you the slightest bit of attention, so you were forced to grab her by the waist and literally pull her out of Nayeon's pussy like a doll. She kicked, but you calmed her down with a kiss and a spank. Nayeon smiled, and as if reading your mind, she rolled over onto her hands and knees, her head just above the water and her fingers gripping the pool edge.
You knelt behind her, and placed your cock between her ass cheeks just to give yourself a little show. Then you squeezed both of her ass cheeks, and ran a hand up to her lower back.
“Fucking amazing,” you gasped, admiring Nayeon’s meaty body in that position. “I’d like to find out how much this ass can jiggle while I fuck you from behind.”
“And why don’t you find out?” Nayeon asked, biting her bottom lip and pushing her ass back slightly to play with your cock between her ass cheeks.
There was certainly no reason not to. You grabbed your cock, and drove it straight into Im Nayeon’s warm, soft pussy. You both moaned.
“Jesus Christ,” Nayeon moaned with her eyes closed, feeling you fill her with severe inches of hard, throbbing meat. “I’m going to tell Yeji to give me your number because holy fuck.”
“I can give it to you myself, gorgeous,” you gasped, and dropped a spank to her right ass cheek before beginning to pound her pussy at a considerably fast pace.
Nayeon's wide hips were your perfect gripping point, as there was no way your hands would slip off of them. Her ass could actually jiggle, and quite a bit; each thrust was like hitting a well-made jelly, which you found so fucking sexy.
She filled the entire pool yard with loud moans, since you were being just as rough with her as you were with Yeji or Ryujin, covering her pale ass with red marks and pulling on her short dark hair until you made her cream on your cock thanks to her orgasm. You were going to keep fucking her in that position, but you got scared because you almost fell face first into the water.
Nayeon forced you to change her position, and this time you put her at a safer distance from the water to position her on her side, with her legs drawn up to her body. Now you could continue fucking her, with your left hand close to her face so she could suck on your fingers, and your right hand gripping her upper thigh. She came again not long after, and with it came the beginnings of your own climax.
"Can I cum on your face?" you asked between heavy breaths, pumping your hips rapidly.
"You can cum anywhere you want, babe," Nayeon replied, her eyes already weak.
"Then come fucking here."
You pulled out of her pussy, stood on top of Nayeon, grabbed the back of her neck to lift her face up, and bent your knees to masturbate right on top of her. She stuck out her tongue, perhaps one of the sexiest you'd ever seen in your life, and stared at you until you exploded with loud moans, shooting jet after jet of thick cum onto that perfect canvas.
The bunny's entire face was painted white. Paint dripping down the sides and falling to the floor in thick drops. You carefully laid her down again, and without being able to control it, you collapsed backwards, careful not to hit your head. You didn't remember if you had gotten into the fetal position to rest, but what you did remember was that you felt like you didn't have the energy to even move a finger.
A bad thing, because the sun was far from setting, and you were sure that many of them wouldn't want to rest at that moment. In short, men came with that biological weakness as standard. While women could just go on and on.
May God bless you.
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elysianightsss · 2 months ago
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No because girl you NEEDDDDDD to elaborate on this -> Soulmate AU. Poly!141 x neurodivergent!reader <- I will die happily
ElaboratinggggggggđŸ€­đŸ« 
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You didn’t think that you’d get this far in life, many reasons spring to mind but the main one is you’re a little different than most people. You can’t cope with certain things and struggle with change. You remember growing up your family would brush off your ‘issues’ and say to just deal with it. How little they understood you.
Moving out was the best decision you ever made, the only change you have ever been happy about. It was necessary and would make your life so much easier on a level only you could understand. You could set up your space the way you like it, the way you need it. And with just you, no one would mess with your stuff just to see you loose it as it was ‘funny’ or move things to suit them better.
This way, you could live in peace.
Task force 141 had just finished a successful mission, camping out in one of the many secret safe houses as they waited for further instructions when they had sent Johnny to the shop for supplies. That’s where he saw you, in a Sainsbury’s supermarket of all places, headphones tight over your ears to block out the world while you tried to decide if the extra two, ninety-nine was worth it or not for the soothing lavender face mask you wanted.
Johnny was quick to subtly snap a picture of you and even go as far as to follow you home before bolting it back to the guys to tell them he’d finally found you. Their last soulmate.
As soon as Johnny showed them the image of you, that was it for them. They had to have you. A burning need coursing through their veins, pumping around their bodies. Nothing would ever be enough until they had you in their arms.
But as said and as they observed themselves, you don’t cope with change.
So they had to situate themselves into your life slowly, one by one.
Johnny and Simon moved in next door to you, and lived there for seven months slowly getting to know you and obviously spying on you. They gradually began to understand you and your cute quirks. They know that you eat the same thing for dinner every night, you use the same plate or bowl and wash it straight after use to make sure it is ready for next time.
You have one set of cutlery, one glass and one mug. Two pillows though you only sleep on one and use the other to hug to sleep. And to top it all off you have one recliner chair and one massive beanbag chair that makes you feel like you’re being hugged tight each time you sit on it. It gives you the deep pressure therapy you desperately need at times.
The guys found your habits strange at first but the more time they spent with you, the more they began to understand you. Understand your need for order, for repetition. And they had experienced first hand what happens when change was forced into your safe space.
Johnny had the bright idea to gift you a set of cutlery a few weeks ago so when he and Simon came round for dinner as they did every Thursday for the past four months, they didn’t have to bring cutlery and plates from their own place, it would already be there.
Simon said it was a bad idea but he couldn’t say no to Johnny, not with how happy he looked while he picked out some pretty baby blue plates and silver cutlery with little mushrooms painted at the end. He boasted to Simon about how much you’d love them while they stood in the queue to pay.
He was wrong.
After dinner was cooked you plated up the food no problem thinking the pretty plates were from their house. Then you opened the kitchen drawer only to hear the clutter and smash of cutlery rubbing together. The sound made a ringing pierce your ears, your hands reaching up to cover them. It was like nails on a chalkboard to you. The sound you heard making you panic beyond measure, your breathing out of control as you slid to your knees.
Johnny’s smile dropped and he sprung into action using the deep pressure therapy you had told him about with your beanbag chair. Simon was quick to removed the extra plates and cutlery from where Johnny had put them and take them back to their place before returning ready to help. He knew he’d need to call John and let him know you had had an episode, but helping you came first.
So you liked constant repetition. If it made you happy, that was absolutely fine with them.
Kyle got himself hired as a barista at your favourite cafe, he learned your usual and practiced at home to make sure every morning when you stopped by on the way to work to drink your coffee and sit with your laptop for twenty minutes, you’d have the perfect drink. He made absolutely sure that it tasted the same every single time. No change.
After a couple of months of smiles and waves here and there he finally got you to open up. Baby steps. A little at a time and now Kyle was taking his twenty minute break at your table while you typed up something for work. You always worked so hard. But he managed to get a few sentences out of you each time and it made his heart sing.
And last but not least, John became your new boss after your last one mysteriously got caught for money laundering. Mr Price was an amazing boss, he didn’t ask for much and was always giving you big opportunities that you’d only ever dreamed of. You had been promoted twice since he became the CEO.
You were now executive editor under him as the chief editor at one of the best publishers in the country. Pirons Classics, number two in the UK and number four in the World. To say the guys were proud that you worked there in the first place was an understatement. Their smart girl.
He called you sweet nicknames and brought you lunch everyday. The same thing, a pesto and cheese sandwich and a snack of your choosing from the vending machines. You don’t remember when it started but you were always too shy to say anything so it became a regular thing.
If you were to sit and think real hard about the situation you would realise how changes had been introduced into your life ever since the four of them appeared. But they were subtle changes and you genuinely couldn’t remember a time when these changes weren’t normal. On top of that, these four men were the only people besides yourself, that you felt comfortable, relaxed and content around.
So for the first time you don’t sit and think, for the first time you just let it happen and you don’t notice the difference.
Johnny and Simon were more involved with you than the other two. They were the closest to you currently with the status of your best friends which Johnny most certainly bragged to the other two about. You had known them for almost a year now and they didn’t exactly hide their romantic relationship but didn’t exactly flaunt it either.
You had found it kinda hot when you saw them kiss and even though it was unusual for you, you luckily managed to keep your mouth shut about it.
You had no idea they had noticed.
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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 2 months ago
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To Your Love That Smells Like Crazy
Synopsis: Damian presented as an alpha, to everyone's despair. He announced he found a mate, to everyone's skepticism. You're the perfect omega, to everyone's delight.
Pairing: Yandere!Alpha!Batboys X Gn!AFAB!Omega!Reader
Tw: 18+ pwp; noncon/dubcon smut; noncon drugging; creepy batfamily members feeling attracted to Reader when they were still 15, but nothing sexual or romantic between them happens until they're 18; this chapter is mostly Damian x Reader; ABO, Reader is an omega, all the batboys are alphas; Heat symptoms; Damian and Reader are 15 at first, when the smut happens they're 18, Tim is three years older than them, Jason is five years older, Dick is 10 years older and Bruce is on his 40s; Implied future gangbang? They want to share Reader (polyamory) but right now the real action is just between Damian and Reader; Loss of virginity on both parts; Implied that Damian is also inexperienced on kissing and Reader knows a little more about that; Fingering!R receiving; Slight schoolgirl/boy/person!Reader; Reader wears lipgloss, nail polish and earrings; Omegas breasts produce milk during heat; Some breastfeeding; Breeding kink; Handcuffs; The word ‘rape’ is used twice; Lots of crying; Nipple play; Dirty talk; Slight voyeurism; Unprotected sex; Negative and selfdeprecating thoughts; Claiming ownership (biting); English isn't my first language.
Word count: 4,7k
Requested? No.
Extra notes: Planning on making one pwp chapter for each batboy, and then a last one with no smut. Also, I think I'm gonna start posting on AO3 since the tw are getting worse...
General masterlist | To Your Love That Smells Like Crazy - Series masterlist
Damian was territorial, dominant and temperamental since the family had known him. Maybe he was born like that, maybe he wasn't, they couldn't know, so, what they most hoped for was that those were just personality traits, maybe coping mechanisms, and the puppy would present as an omega or beta one day, and then maybe the hormones would make him calm down. It was a small possibility, but one could only dream, right?!
Well, those hopes were crushed when, at his fifteenth birthday, Damian woke up growling at the mix of strong alpha scents stinking his room, his territory, and started pacing inside there, not allowing anyone but the old beta Alfred to come in.
He calmed down after a couple of hours, came out of his room to eat breakfast, assessed and scented the rest of his territory (everyone's territory, really, the manor was the family’s home), and maybe humor his inner alpha by subjugating the rest of the pack. It didn't work, obviously, they were all mature alphas who went through puberty already and knew how to (mostly) manage conflict with a newly-turned alpha who still smelt like milk and was just overwhelmed with hormones.
After a full belly, it was decided he shouldn't have to go to school for the first few days (something the teenager was happy with), to learn to control his mood and impulses, visit a specialized doctor to be sure what kind of suppressants were better suited for his organism, and so he could go through his first rut in peace.
A few days later, Damian went back to school, nose itching from some not-so-pleasant alpha scents, some weak beta scents, some sugary omega scents, and a lot of milky scents coming from most students, especially unpresented puppies.
He wondered how adults live like this, if he would just get used to it, and it wouldn't bother him so much one day. One thing was to feel the smell of flowers or food, another thing was to feel people’s pheromones. But his train of thoughts were halted when he felt you.
Not even inside the classroom yet, but he could sniff you out and find you if he wanted to. Strong, yet suave, soft. Strawberries. And milk. It made his whole body shudder and tremble. Now he knew why his family occasionally asked where the delicious scent stuck to his clothes came from. Now he knew why alphas turned their heads and stared at you so much when you both were walking around. It was all you. His best friend.
Damian stared openly and unconsciously, while you made your way to him none the wiser and sat down at his side, and he almost got annoyed when, at first, you didn't seem to notice his new presentation, as if you didn't even acknowledge him as an alpha yet. But then you turned and stared at him strangely.
— Dude, why’re you staring so mu- Oh. — You blinked, finally having realized where the new musky scent was coming from. — You're lucky you smell good. My neighbor smells like feet.
When he came home, he announced he had an omega.
Obviously, that left everyone bewildered as to what he meant by that, it was impossible for during his first day back outside as an alpha, he already had a mate. But he didn't have to explain much for them to understand, the scent on his clothes was enough proof as to why he wanted you for himself.
After that, Damian invited you to hang out with him at the manor for the first time. It caused a reaction in everyone, and all of them were home, of course they were, Damian wanted to show off his future mate, and you had to meet the family, since he single-handedly decided you were going to join their pack already.
As you walked past each door on the way to Damian's room, everyone had a reaction.
The old beta and grandfather, Alfred, was very polite and nice, he smelt like tea. He smiled more freely with how sweet you were, amused by Damian's clear crush.
Next, you passed Dick by the gym, he smelt spicy, and his door was open, so he could peek better to satiate his curiosity when Damian's crush arrived, yet, he didn't expect to almost fall from his stretching position when he finally took a whiff from your sweet scent for the first time, instead of just the faint and weak thing that occasionally got stuck on Damian's clothes and hair. He managed to look mostly presentable even though he almost sprinted to the corridor to meet you. Dick was even more pleased to see you were beautiful, even in your modest school uniform. He forced himself to hold back and stay in the gym when Damian decided the interaction took long enough, and pulled you to keep walking.
Jason was next, he was in the library. His scent was thick. Woody. He coughed around his drink when he felt your scent, and Damian rolled his eyes at him. Jason’s whole body froze when he saw how soft you looked, clearly an omega. He noted that you looked older than fifteen, but Jason knew you were just a couple of months older than Damian, and you still smelled like milk. His attraction to you bothered him because he couldn't ignore your still-milky scent, and he was already imagining how you would smell like when you fully reached maturity. Your hair was shiny and looked soft, like clouds and cotton-candy. He wanted to stick his nose there and hug you. You looked the perfect company for a nap (and more). Damian quickly steered you away to keep walking.
Next was Tim, he was in his room, and he smelt like peppermint. He always kept the door closed, but during your visit, it was open wide, due to his curiosity to meet you, everyone knew that. Tim snapped his eyes away from his computer when he felt you, and stared at you wide-eyed when you appeared. You didn't even come inside, Damian didn't want to feel your scent coming off of Tim's room to haunt him every time he walked past that door for the next days. It would definitely make him want to kill his brother. Tim tried to burn your image to his brain to the smallest details. He noted the color of your nail polish, your earrings, the thing dangling from your backpack, the shine and rosiness of your lip gloss. Tim specially liked your soft-spoken voice, and it bothered him how polite, neutral and distant it was, because clearly you both didn't now each other, you were just there as Damian's friend, meeting his older brother for the first time, and just wanted to go hole up inside Damian's room as soon as possible to avoid the weird interaction.
Soon, your wishes came through, and you spent the next few hours there with Damian basically teaching you everything and doing your homework. It was a new behavior, he never did that out of instinct before, some people asking him for help would annoy him, others, like you, he would calmly help out of the hidden kindness in his heart, but he never took initiative before. You brushed it off as just new alpha behavior and just used his either gentlemanly or condescending behavior, if it meant you could gain things out of it and be lazy.
At dinner, you finally met his father. Bruce Wayne was the alpha of a pack full of alphas and a beta. His himbo and playboy persona gave you the impression that he wasn't the most dominant alpha around, but you were proven wrong when you felt his sandalwood aroma and saw his towering frame. His personality was the same you saw on the TV, though, pleasant like a TV host or just a popular guy. On the inside, he was fixated with you, ignoring your milky childish scent and your school uniform. He wanted you around the house more. God knows how much a bit more of softness could help the family’s dynamic. Maybe that was what was missing, an omega around the place. Like you. Actually, it could be you. He thought about convincing Damian to stick to living in the manor even after you were both married adults. Or you could be Bruce’s when you were of age. Wait, how old were you?
Alfred drove you and Damian to your place after everything was done, all the alphas with a heavy heart, bothered that you had to go, that you couldn't spend the night with them yet. Even if you were already theirs.
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It took a lot to convince Damian to share you, but eventually, he begrudgingly agreed, they were a pack, after all, not just a family, they stick together, take care of each other and of each other's interests. Having something that wasn't just vigilantism in common would be good bonding for them, and the closer a pack could get, the better. That he knew. A pack sharing someone wasn't exactly unheard of either.
After that, Damian started inviting you to the manor more often. Almost every week you were there. Your parents started saying that Damian probably was interested in you, but you laughed it off, never thinking an alpha like him would be interested in an omega like you.
The family made the best of that time to get you used to them, to their dynamic, and to make you feel at home, safe, trustful. They also wanted your scent to get stuck everywhere. To get to know you. To learn everything about you. To make plans.
When Damian's 18 birthday came, you were already legally an adult too, and they invited you over, saying it was a birthday party. When you got there, the party consisted in only you and the family.
The conversation was nice.
They put drugs on your piece of cake that simulated an out of cycle heat.
It started with fatigue.
Then fever.
Your eyes got blurred.
You thought you were getting sick, and just planned on taking cold medicine when you got home.
The alphas were slowly coming closer and circling you, unnoticed.
You felt weird in your intimate parts, maybe you needed to pee.
You stood up, but your knees were weak, and you almost fell, if it wasn't for Dick, who caught you mid-air.
All scents became clearer when your eyes locked. You wondered what the look on his face meant, confused.
You felt their excitement, and arousal. And you felt something poking your thigh.
You felt your own underwear getting wet.
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You asked them to take you home, but they denied. That made you feel antsy, so you tried searching for your phone to call your parents to pick you up, but you couldn't find it. It got especially hard when Damian picked you up and started walking up the stairs with you.
— It's okay, omega. You're okay with us. I’m going to take care of you
 — Your hands trembled when he purred the word ‘omega’, mumbled those words, and nuzzled the side of your head with his nose, taking a deep breath from your sweet strawberry scent, and faint sex smell, due to the wetness between your thighs. No longer any hint of milk anymore, since you already reached maturity just a couple of months before him, and now he also didn't smell like puppy anymore.
— N-No
 D-Dami
 W-Where are you taking me? What a-are you gonna do? 
 I wanna go home
 I’m not feeling good
 — You whimpered and tried to weakly move out of his hold, it didn't work.
— You are home, beloved. And I’m going to help you feel better
 With my knot. — Your eyes widened. — I will fuck you real good and fill you with my semen. I know it is your first time, it is mine too. But do not worry, your heat will make it painless and you will be satisfied with me. — You whimpered higher, your omega was preening, crying for a knot, your pussy squeezing hard, but your mind knew it was wrong. Clearly something was wrong. Why was no one helping? Couldn't they see you were caught by surprise with your heat and were saying no to him? Why were they looking at you like that? A cough coming from somewhere seemed to snap Damian out of it, like he remembered something. — Ah, right. And then, you will receive father’s, and my siblings' knots. I will go first since it’s my birthday and I claimed you first. — Damian blushed, despite his smug tone. 
You cried for help, at first, it came out weak, as your omega didn't want to make something the alphas would disapprove of, but the closer you got to the room they designated for the moment, the reality of what was coming was overtaking your instincts. Especially after your belly started to hurt at being empty of seed.
The alphas only shushed you, and you helplessly watched as Tim handcuffed one of your hands to the bedpost as soon as Damian laid you down on the nest they made for you, and Dick and Jason each started taking your sneakers off. Bruce was standing a few feet away from the bed, Alfred at his side. The oldest alpha’s eyes were glued to your laid down figure, hungry and serious. Darker than you had ever seen. You've never been more scared of him before. He occasionally commented something to Alfred, that you vaguely registered as instructions, that also started being given to his children.
You weakly tugged at the handcuff and tried to sit up at the same time, but Damian pushed himself between your legs, and held you down by the waist. Dick and Jason held your legs open to accommodate him better, and your overwhelmed brain barely noticed their hands also rubbing your ankles and thighs. You've never felt more aroused and more scared your whole life. 
Alfred exited the room to start doing Bruce's orders, and he kept watching. Tim, who had disappeared out of your line of sight for a second, came back holding a long, shiny and glinting pair of scissors. You tugged harder at the restraints and tried to push your body up to get away, thinking he was going to hurt you, but he just purred at you to calm you down, unfortunately, it worked, and your pussy tightened when Damian hissed at feeling your center pressing against his hard cock, when you pushed your hips up and against his. You could feel him poking your underthigh, only the clothes separating you.
— It's okay, omega, I’m just cutting off your clothes, it's gonna be easier to strip you that way. — Tim said soothingly, while purring and almost cooing at you. Your eyes widened when he said that, and actually started cutting your shirt open, until Dick was able to pull the ruined fabric off from under you. 
All three alphas started purring at seeing your braless torso, chest already swelling with milk and nipples darkened. Omegas body produced milk when they had a puppy to feed, or during heats, and ruts, when an alpha was in a rut, and the omega was helping them, because the body understood it was a rough period, where a lot of energy was spent and not much nutrition came, since both were too busy procreating and too weak to go searching for food, so the milk was a lot helpful in those moments. There were even historical moments where that skill was useful in other contests, when the economy got so bad that most packs were starving, and the omegas of the pack helped them survive with milk.
Damian bit his lips and brought his right hand up to your left breast, squeezing it softly. Everyone was entranced, watching a single drop of milk come out, the breast not full yet. You arched your back, it felt good, so good that for a moment you forgot why you wanted to get away. Damian also didn't help your train of thought when his thumb started rubbing your stiff nipple, sending ripples of pleasure through your body and forcing your eyes closed. You forced yourself not to make a sound.
You snapped out of it when you felt Tim cutting your pants and underwear off. Your eyes widened at the feeling of being exposed and the almost cold air that made your hair stand. Your legs trembled and you felt Dick and Jason's hands working, uncoordinated pads of fingers dancing across the inside of your thighs. 
Your arousal’s scent freely infastated the room now, and half of them growled, in exception of Bruce and Tim, who were keeping themselves more calm and collected. 
— It's time to go now, let Damian and (Y/N) have their moment. — Bruce announced and you watched as Damian smirked, then you hid your face, sobbing against the pillow. He cooed at you while his other hand went down between your legs and started rubbing slow circles while pressing against your clit.
Dick sighed.
— Take care of them, Dami. Have fun and enjoy. — Dick patted Damian's shoulder, but you weren't sure the alpha above even noticed you, too busy gazing at you and your body, enjoying how warm and wet you were. 
— Yeah, remember to do what we taught you, baby bird. — Damian only hummed at Jason's comment, and leaned down, pressing his chest to yours. He brought his mouth to the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and started leaving a trail of kisses up your neck, and under your jaw.
It was your first time feeling someone doing this, when you read fanfics and books, you never thought this could feel good like the writing always described, but it actually did, and you hated that you liked it, crying harder against the pillow and hoping his lips weren't moving closer to your face because he wanted to kiss you. You felt his nose sniffing your scent gland.
Tim hummed.
— Be careful with them, and don't take too long, everyone wants their turn. — Tim warned softly and was the last to exit the room, closing the door, but not locking it.
Damian’s warm breath huffed against your neck.
— Finally alone
 — Damian whispered with a hoarse voice that made your hair stand. You whimpered and squeezed your eyes harder.
— Please, let me go
 You don't have to do this, I won't tell anyone- — Your sentence was cut short when one of Damian's long and thick fingers invaded your entrance delicately. Your mouth opened on a silent scream, and the alpha watched you with lust in his eyes.
— Beloved
 Omega
 You will come to like this, I promise you that
 — He sucked a faint hickey on your scent gland. His right hand started exploring the rest of your body, fumbling and squeezing the softer parts he found out he liked the most. You couldn't control your panting and small moans when his finger curled upwards inside you, touching your sweet spot. 
— D-Dam-... A-Alpha
 — You arched your back when he started fingering you faster, your sensitive walls milking a single finger, crying for a thick knot, thirsty for his seed, your womb empty of puppies. 
— See
 — He kissed your cheek. — We barely started, and yet
 — Another kiss, closer to your mouth. — You're already dripping and earning for my knot
 — Your lips met, it didn't seem like he had much experience, maybe it was his first kiss? Either way, you knew a little more about what you were doing, and he quickly learned. In just a few minutes, he was dominating your mouth. The younger alpha gave a slow bite to your lips when a second finger joined the first in fucking you, wet noises eccoing around the room.
You gained some clearance after a few moments, when he took his fingers off. You whined, not knowing if it was to plead him not to rape you, or because you wanted his cock stuffing you as soon as possible. You tried to force your head away from his, and he relented, pausing the kiss, but only to start taking his own clothes off. If your face wasn't already hot from the fever and arousal, you knew it would be now, feeling shy with everything new that was happening and his naked body, and surprised that you never once noticed his muscles before. 
While afraid, you peeked down and saw his hard and bobbing dick, it was thick and above average, but not too much. Not too much for someone who wasn't a virgin like you were, that is.
You tried to sit up, to get away from him in a bolt of strength you didn't have until now, fighting your omega with as much as you could. But it proved to be no help, as it punished you by making your belly tug and hurt twice more. Your torso fell down on the bed again, powerless by pain, numbness, and the restraint around your wrist.
Damian only cooed, still kneeling above you and between your legs. You cried. You didn't feel his calloused hands holding and caressing your hips, but you felt the blunt wet tip against your entrance. You were ruined.
Your parents would hate you. They would say it was your fault for ignoring their warnings and shoving yourself inside a home full of alphas with no omega. They would kick you out of the pack. And if the Wayne's did good on their word of raping you one after the other, you would probably get pregnant, as you weren't on birth control. That is, if they didn't kill you or kept you hostage in their basement. And even if your pack wanted to, they wouldn't be able to do anything to get justice for you, as the Wayne's were much more influential and rich. You were only going to the same school as Damian because your parents worked as teachers there, for god's sake. You were doomed. And if they decided to mark you

You cried harder, ashamed of being so aroused now and so dumb all along. For the first time, you hated being an omega.
But all those self-deprecating thoughts were muffled when he finally invaded you. It was slow, gentle, testing how things felt. Damian heaved a breath and buried his face on your neck, breathing your scent deep. It felt amazing, for the both of you. You were so deep in your heat that of course it wasn't going to hurt at all, silly you. Those alphas were right, they are always right. They can take care of you.
— 
 More
 Please, I want more
 — You moaned and tried moving your hips against his, forcing his cock to push against your walls faster. Damian's head snapped up, looking at you with interest and lust. You were already cockdrunk, as he was pussydrunk, and he wasn't even halfway inside yet.
He bottomed out with more hurry, after pulling in and out twice to test if you really weren't in pain. He moaned deep against your face before shoving his lips against yours again, while he thrusted his hips. The alpha found the perfect rhythm while pulling almost all the way in and out, in a steady dance. Your moans got louder by the second, your inner omega happy with all the attention you were receiving.
Your free hand shot up to rest on his back, nails digging his scarred skin, not knowing what to do. Damian's hips gradually grew in force, until the bed was shaking and softly hitting the wall. The sound of your hips colliding and your wetness clear as day didn't bother you, as you only started begging for the alpha. To be owned. To be knotted. To be breeded.
— See how I take care of you
 — He kissed down your collarbone, murmuring against your skin. — Make you feel good
 — One of his hands slid down to grip your thigh, pulling your leg up, purposefully looking for a deeper angle to ravish you. You gasped as he found it, and his thrusts got harder. You mumbled a bunch of agreements to whatever he was saying, you just wanted his knot! — You're my omega now, our omega now
 — He softly bit your pouting nipple, being considerate as to not hurt the sensitive and swelling area. Your hand trembled on his back and shot up to pull his hair in an overwhelming wave of pleasure. He pulled weakly at your nipple with his teeth scraping the nerves on the area, until he let it go. — We will stuff you full of cum everyday and every hour
 — His lips trailed down your ribs, but the position didn't allow him to go further down. He wanted to leave kisses on your whole body, and now he could do that, because now you weren't escaping them. He growled, resigning himself to traill his lips up through the space between your breasts. Your body trembled with the sound. — Fuck you real good
 You will never have to beg, omega, we will spoil you with everything you need, everything you want
 — His huge hands trailed up your body until they reached your chest. He squished them for a moment, enjoying how soft they were, and how pliant you were, looking straight into your dazed cockdrunk eyes. Imagining how your perfect pups will look like. Milk started coming out in small drops, so silent that he only noticed when it was dripping down his hand. His eyes shot down to assess the view and his knot started growing at the sight of your swelling breasts and darkened nipples, giving up milk for him, for him, so soft his fingers were digging and moulding the flesh, all while they were dancing up and down, bouncing, seducing him. You were seducing him. You were stunning, ravishing, perfect without even trying. He was happy his pack was the one tying you down to them, he wanted to kill someone just for thinking that someone else could have you like this. — 
 And you will give us everything we want

He tentatively, almost hypnotized, leaned down and sucked your stiff nipple between his soft lips, sucking a small amount of milk inside, letting It rest on his tongue for a moment, savouring the taste, before swallowing.
You were sensitive, with a dull ache, but his suckling helped with the pain and sent waves of flickering pleasure against your body. You could feel him forcing his knot with each thrust to fit inside you as it gradually grew, and gasped, whimpering pleas for more. Begging him to keep going and stuff you full. You were both getting close to orgasm. Damian shut his eyes hard, overstimulated with the growing pleasure. He let go of your breast when he started feeling his canines getting more protruded, itching to bite your neck and claim you, his eyes also getting brighter, his inner alpha waiting to take ownership over you. Strip you off the life you had before. Forcing you to subjugate, until the smallest cells in your body knew who you belonged to.
He didn't hold himself, of course, and your first mark soon made home above your collarbone, your souls locking together and the intimacy going to an extraordinary level when you reached the peak of pleasure in tandem, while his knot swelled and made you stuck together, stopping any drop of cum from going to waste.
Every single drop was forced to stay inside of you, and Damian lifted your almost limp head, you both drunk, still coming down from the waves of pleasure, and forced your lips against his neck, his scent gland, and you, whose omega and heat had taken over since the moment his cock invaded you, didn't hesitate to mark him back, locking the bond completely.
— Good omega, good omega

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