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scarfacemarston · 5 years ago

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RDR 1 FAQ for RDR 2 fans

Okay, I’ve been seeing a lot of misconceptions and actually some abuse towards the developers so I’m really pissed about this. Don’t be entitled and do your research. Most importantly - do not harass a developer. Warning: I may have to edit this when I’m feeling better. I have trouble thinking straight and more calmly after my seizures- which is when I’m writing this. Trigger warning for Sucid*l talk. Let me know if I should add more.

1. Why isn’t Arthur in the game? Because the game is ten years old. Production of the game started around 2005 if I remember correctly. It was Rockstar’s last hurrah because the company was nearly bankrupt. RDR 1 had to be delayed multiple times because they kept running out of money. The game came out in 2010. Rdr 2 came out in 2018. Why would Arthur appear in a game where he hasn’t even been created yet? A lot of people complain that they won’t play the game because the graphics are so old - but doesn’t that show people that the game is older and therefore can’t be called a prequel to rdr 2?

John Marston is the only reason we have Arthur. Roger Clark himself has said that people need to give the game more credit. Plus, Arthur’s ending is in rdr 2. Why would John hunt him down if he didn’t exist yet? If people are referring to John commenting on him - again. It didn’t exist yet. In canon, John can’t mentally handle talking about Arthur. I will say, it would have been interesting to see what would have happened if Arthur survived, but many rdr 1 fans knew Arthur was a goner before even playing RDR 2 because he wasn’t mentioned. This entitlement is the biggest qualm with the fandom on this subject because I see people getting damn nasty with the developers over this. It’s really not that hard to figure out, people. 2. Why isn’t Charles in the game? See above. Plus, Charles went to Canada to settle down. He’s not a threat. No one even knows he was and he wouldn't have been deemed a threat because he retired.

3. Why isn’t Sadie in the game? See Arthur's answer. Also deemed not a threat because she joined the gang so recently and the Pinkerton didn’t know her identity. Just like Charles. She also went to South America. The Pinkertons didn’t have the jurisdiction to go there or to Canada. They cheated and used John to give the corpses over the border. Sadly, If John went to Canada - he probably would have been fine.

4. Why are the graphics so bad? Because the game is from 2010. They hold up surprisingly well though.

5. Why are the controls so weird? See above.

6. the game is so lonely compared to rdr 2! Yeah, I agree. It’s supposed to be though. Arthur says the “Wild West” is nearly extinct in 1899. By 1911, there are only tiny pockets of it. John, Dutch, Javier, and Bill are the last true outlaws and even then, John is retired. John has had everything taken from him. He has no friends. They are all dead or moved on. His family has been kidnapped. He has no one. This is how it was at the end of RDR 2′s epilogue too.

7. John is dumb. He got shot talking to Bill by himself. No. John knows this was meant to be a suicide mission. The Pinkertons explicitly said they never expected John to last so long. On top of that, John was suicd*l. His ranch was destroyed. He was in jail where they may have physically and emotionally broken him so he’d be compliant. He has no idea Jack and Abigail are alive. He’s lost everything. He says himself that he’s sucid*l to Bonnie.

8. I don’t like John as much as Arthur. That’s okay! You don’t have to like him as much! No problem. I will point out that John is very different from Arthur and did not benefit from the same attention that Arthur received in development. John was considered revolutionary at his time and constantly voted as one of the top ten most beloved video game characters of all time. Arthur was given a lot more time. They gave Arthur a journal to see his inner thoughts. Arthur had a family that loved him. John did not at this point. John didn’t have anyone. John doesn’t even have anyone to talk to. He’s meant to be mysterious and people comment on this all the time. He holds his emotions to his chest, but he is shown to have them. He’s shown to have a soft side and a sense of humor. But again, rdr 2 is FULL of people supporting Arthur. John doesn’t have that so people struggle to feel as close to him because John isn’t given the luxury of showing his softer side until the end of chapter 3.

9. Where is the Marston daughter? John explicitly says she’s died on several occasions. It’s also implied that Dutch and the others kept tabs on John because he and Javier know about her. No, I don’t understand why there isn’t a gravestone except for the fact that maybe John and Abigail wanted to have her buried properly in a graveyard.

7. Where was John before the game? Good question! He is implied to have been in Siska and then taken to Blackwater before being sent to New Austin. Note: John is NOT supposed to be in New Austin in the epilogue. This breaks canon because John needs to hire a guide.

5. John knew they were after him, right? Probably. I think he did know in the back of his mind. He was shown to literally always be looking behind his shoulder. However, I think he was more concerned about the law than the Pinkertons in general? I struggle with this because Agent Milton came into camp and had no idea who John was. John never said his name. Edgar Ross did not know his name either. However, they figured out he was involved somehow later on. They found John due to the descriptions of his face. They then put together descriptions of face to the name John Marston and that is how I think he was found.

6. John is selfish. How? Wanting to save your family is selfish? He’s also been seen helping tons of people to the point that people come up to him to thank him, praise him or give him money. He helps Bonnie even after his debt has been repaid....numerous times. He became friends with the Marshall. He helped Seth because he had to, yes. He had no choice, but he also felt great sympathy towards him. He was semi-okay with McDougal but hated his racism. He respected and liked Nastas. He helped Maria when it was extremely detrimental to him. But seriously, look at Seth, Dickens, McDougal, and the way De Santa and Reyes treated him. They jerked John around like a puppet. Same with the Pinkertons. He was literally forced to fight in a Mexican revolution because people kept lying and betraying him. He explicitly said that as an American, he had no right to be involved in their politics and desperately stayed out of it. He lamented multiple times that he had to commit the atrocities he did in a war he wanted nothing to do with. After John did all of their dirty work, they told John that Abigail and Jack were killed. John nearly killed the Pinkertons then and there and honestly? I think John would have turned the gun on himself.

Editing because I’m bitter.

7. Dutch: “We all had her.” See, she’s a whore! So, working girls are a HUGE part of movie westerns and were very respected. In real life, we only have the state of Wyoming because a prostitute was able to get the town started. The men refused to become a state ebcause that meant the women lost the right to vote. Working girls were also shown to be the most charitable out of all the demographics to the point that the church ladies would visit the brothels first. Some were basically legends. However, many more had miserable lives. Many were beat, r*ped, murdered, suicid*al? So How is any of this funny?

So you’re taking something out of complete context and repeating information that is plain old wrong? Most people who say this think they’re funny or haven’t even played the game. It’s sad that it’s became a meme in this fandom because it’s wrong and hurtful. Even if she did, Abigail deserves more respect than this.Dutch is wrong about saying Abigail slept with everyone. This is literally impossible because she quit her working girl days the minute she met John. Each and every member have been debunked save for Uncle. Evidence here.

8. Is John blind in one eye? In my opinion, yes. There is very strong evidence like Dutch and his enemies being able to surprise him one side and not the other. He protects that side more. He makes many coments about it. His protective gear cover his bad eye. Evidence here.

#john marston #arthur morgan #charles smith #javier escuella #Bonnie MacFarlane #abigail marston #jack marston #rdr2 #rdr #rdr 1 #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 1 #sadie adler

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vmficrecs · 4 years ago

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Every school has an obligatory psychotic jackass. He’s ours.

It has been one year since The Incident. In celebration of this beautiful, snarky, dynamic, passionate, beloved, smug, asshole, essential, etc., etc., character I have complied a lengthy (but by no means exhaustive) collection of some of my personal favorite fics focusing on Logan, or on his relationships, or fics that i just think do something neat in terms of Logan/his journey/his character. ❤️

Previously on vmficrecs:

dark_roast, “Fish Out of Water,” Mature, Post Season 1 AU

Logan opts to leave Neptune, and spend summer vacation with his grandparents.

Notes: This AU is essential reading if you love Logan. His characterization is nearly perfect, and the premise of the fic is endlessly engaging and smart.

wily_one24, “Sleep, Perchance...,” Mature, Pre-series AU

Logan thaws towards Veronica and sets out to save her.

Notes: I want to eat this fic. If you’ve never read it, read it-- it will linger endlessly inside of your brain in the best way possible. So many of the things Logan does or says in this fic exist in a very tangible and palpable manner for me, it’s that good. I think about it constantly.

ghostcat, “What We Have in Common,” Teen, Post Season 3 AU

Weevil Navarro, his incredibly poor choice of a research paper prepping locale and the close talking, finger waving jackass that interrupts and effectively hijacks his night. Set in 2010, three years after The Bitch is Back.

ghostcat, “A Trace of Meaning,” Teen, Pre-series

13 year-old Logan Echolls and 14 year-old Veronica Mars wait at the Kane Estate for their held-up sleepover hosts to show up.

theohara, “Rich Dirt,” Mature, Pre-series AU

And Logan wouldn’t let you have anything. He’d danced over to you and smirked in your face and twirled your plastic cup right out of your hand and cooed that just because your Daddy wasn’t sheriff anymore didn’t give you license to break the law, and he’d acted all shocked with his hand over his mouth and he’d laughed like breaking glass and nanced off with your drink.

anjou, “Into the Blue,” Mature, Post Season 1

It’s almost summer, and Logan is sinking into the blue.

flyingcarpet, “Mexicali Blues,” Mature, Post Season 3 AU

When he reaches the water he doesn’t hesitate, just keeps walking until he can duck his head under and start to swim away from shore, letting the salt and the waves wash away the residue that Neptune’s left on his skin.

absolutelyiris, “Truth for a Dream,” Teen, Future Fic (Pre-movie)

Fleet Week 2012. A reformed bad boy turned sailor and a former party girl turned career woman meet in a bar…

Notes: A LOGAN AND PARKER FRIENDSHIP FIC!!! pure fucking delight

absolutelyiris, “Come Around,” Mature, Future AU

A woman travels the world over in search of what she needs and returns home to find it.

Notes: I will talk about this fic until the day that I day, and then I will still talk about it. One of my absolute favorites. Pure gold Logan/Keith dynamic. I would 10/10 die for Razia. and, of course, the l/v is so damn good

TheLastGoodGolfish, “The Phenomenal Pixie, #1,” Teen, AU

Veronica is a masked avenger who stalks the streets of Neptune. Logan is the intrepid reporter who’s on the story.

Notes: PERFECT. PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT. also-- “That’s ridiculous. My favorite person is a sorority girl.” in my head, rent free, and i am forever indebted.

bryrosea, “Waste of Breath / A Quartz Contentment,” Mature, Post Season 2 to TDTL

Part one: Logan Echolls, the nine years, and the Navy. Part two: Veronica Mars, the nine years, and a new normal.

Notes: I am recommending specifically “Waste of Breath” for my boy, although Veronica’s piece is excellent as well.

always_winter, “Written Out,” Teen, Season 2 AU

Duncan has some residual guilt and Logan wants to be left out of the story.

always_winter, “White Combs and Sweet Honey,” Mature, Season 1

Even when Aaron is trying to be a good father, there’s still a lot he’s doing wrong.

Notes: This fic is so tender to me!!! A beautiful Logan and Aaron piece.

sadiekate, “Grand Canyon,” PG-13, Season 1 to Future AU

Three friends reminisce several years in the future, snarkily and pointlessly.

sinaddict, “Necrosis,” Explicit, Season 2 AU

Death in bits and pieces, denial as a religion… Or ‘normal�� in Neptune.

sowell, “Surviving the Wreck,” Explicit, Season 3 AU

Nothing’s ever simple with Veronica Mars. Weevil’s day at sea gets a little complicated.

Notes: THIS FUCKING FIC!!!! i love everything about it and especially at this moment in time, the part where logan gives weevil a blow job but weevil notes that somehow, in spite of this, logan retains the upper hand. this fic is world class and i am grateful everyday for it

theohara, “Broken Toys,” NC-17, Pre series AU

One glance across a street saves Lilly Kane’s life. It changes everything; it changes nothing.

Notes: This is the most heartbreaking Veronica Mars’ fanfic ever. I have such a deep love for it. It takes Lilly’s character and Logan/Veronica’s relationship to places I don’t ever think they would go and yet it works in this and it works so damn well. a truly devastating and beautiful au

fluffernutter8, “The Ninety Nine Percent,” Teen, Post Season 3 AU

Junior year of college, Logan gets some news that proves that no matter how hard he tries, life is just going to keep throwing him curve-balls. Post season 3, non movie canon compliant.

youcallitwinter, “gravity is gonna keep you tied down to this city,” Teen, Post Season 3 to TDTL

[your life in extended parenthesis] the lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean, and the fire that was starting to spark. From the love to the lightning and the lack of it.

Notes: please don't fall out of love with me, okay? don’t you dare give up on me. I DIE EVERY FUCKING TIME youcallitwinter is a force with all of her writings, but this one.......my god every single bit about it is fucking flawless

petpluto, “Of Scars & Consequences,” Teen, Post-series AU

Almost a decade in the future, Logan's still a little messed up. And Veronica's still a little closed off. They make it work.

julietbravo, “one brutal thing after another,” Teen, Pre-series to Season 1

These rich boys think they can get away with anything, don’t they.

querulousgawks, “there should be stars for great wars like ours,” Teen, AU

It’s gotta be some Alliance mind game, a holdover, the Operative’s last trick: Logan’s old secrets manifesting everywhere around them. Where are you, how are you doing this, he wants to scream, but he doesn’t know which ghost he’d be railing at.

SilverLining2k6, “Sometimes (You Can’t Make It On Your Own),” Teen, Season 1 AU

Silly Duncan stopped taking his meds. Now, one dead Fitzpatrick later, Logan and Veronica need to get him out of town. Too bad they hate each other.

SilverLining2k6, “Control,” Teen, Pre-series AU

Don’t you mess with a little girl’s dreams. ‘Cause she’s liable to grow up mean. Pre-series. Oneshot. - A twisted little tale of hate and revenge.

Notes: CONTROL!!!!! I love Control so much, it’s one of the first fics I ever read for the fandom and one of the finest. The Logan that exists in this is sooo good and his relationship with Veronica is deeply flawed & wonderful. M is in the process of writing a remix to Control (more in-depth emotion) and I for one am foaming at the fucking mouth every day about it.

nevertothethird, “Reunions,” Teen, Post Series AU

Sometimes it just takes a little longer to get things right. Two high school reunions and a birthday party should do the trick.

youcallitwinter, “you give love a bad name,” Teen, Season 2 AU

“Hey, did you guys know there was a sensitive poet-type hiding behind this hard exoskeleton of expensive alcohol and bitter cynicism?” In which Logan Echolls is, well, Logan Echolls.

scandalpants, “Something to Remember,” Mature, Post Series AU

Facing a separation, Logan and Veronica spend their last night together exchanging gifts.

Notes: I am always in a goddamn state about this fic. Logan jacking off in front of Veronica at her request? Yes, thank you please. thank you so much

leurocrystal, “Take Your Time,” Teen, Post Season 2

Keith doesn’t know how to look at or touch his daughter for the first time in his life.

petpluto, “We Are Nowhere, And It’s Now,” Mature, Series AU

“You know there is another way of looking at this, Logan. If you’d still been together, you might be dead too." Logan and Lilly both die on October 3rd. But for Veronica, it’s not like they’re gone. And she still works to solve their murders.

absolutelyiris, “Delay,” Teen, Post TTDL

Logan reflects on his first Christmas with Veronica after a ten year separation, as well as how his life has changed with her absence.

New to vmficrecs:

Christmas in Arkham Author: dark_roast Pairing: Logan Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort, A Really Good Hug Setting: Season 2 Spoilers: 2.09, “My Mother, the Fiend” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 10128 Status: Complete Summary: Sequel to Fish Out of Water. Logan spends christmas with his grandparents. Notes: This is, full stop, my favorite Veronica Mars fanfiction ever. I am so protective of this fic that part of me doesn’t even want to give it a formal place on the blog, which is ridiculous because I’m sure plenty of people have already read it and obviously it’s so good that I want people to read it but....this belongs to me, somehow, like I feel like it’s mine that’s how much I love it. ANYWAY possessiveness aside-- Every word, every sentence, every punctuation mark in this fic is perfect, devastating insight into Logan’s character. Absolutely beautiful and wonderful and every other good thing.

The Teeth by the Shoulder Author: ghostcat Pairing: Fab Four, Logan/Lilly, Veronica/Duncan Rating: Teen Genre: Friendship, Angst Setting: Pre-series Spoilers: 1.01, “Pilot” Chapters: 3 Word Count: 17273 Status: Complete Summary: Two couples, two friendships. The Fab Four in three Octobers. Notes: WE’VE NEVER FUCKING RECOMMENDED THE TEETH BY THE SHOULDER BEFORE?????? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE OH MY GOD jesus this is one of the greatest fanfictions ever written. three pre-series explorations into the fab four friendship and it is impossibly good. i am especially in love with the logan/lilly in this fic (the first chapter!!!!) and as always special care is given to exploring the logan + veronica dynamic. the third chapter will break your fucking heart so bad in the best way

Seven Times Logan Echolls Went to Jail Author: sowell Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Veronica/Piz Rating: Teen Genre: Angst, Romance, Logan Echolls is a Little Shit Setting: (Post) Season 3 AU Spoilers: 3.12, “There’s Got to Be a Morning After Pill” and 3.16, “Un-American Graffiti” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6701 Status: Complete Summary: Who thinks Logan behind bars is sexy? I do, I do! // Logan goes to jail and calls Veronica to bail him out. Again and again and again and again. Notes: WE HAVEN’T DONE THIS BEFORE EITHER???? oh my god!! I remember finding this one a few months before the movie came out and i would just lay in bed in the dark and re-read it endlessly. and then i left it alone for a few years and when i went back to it holy shit it undid me all over again. perfect logan and veronica relationship. p e r f e c t!!! i firmly believe this is exactly what shape their relationship would’ve taken if veronica hadn’t cut and run

Love is Just a Four-letter Word Author: bigboobedcanuck Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Keith, Weevil Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort Setting: Future AU Spoilers: 1.12, “Clash of the Tritons” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1753 Status: Complete Summary: Set a few years down the road from high school. Logan hits rock bottom. Keith and Veronica help him back up. Notes: Lynn’s body turns up and it is fucking DEVASTATING. A short piece that’s told from Keith’s POV (anyone who knows me knows how much of a sucker I am for Keith + Logan interaction) and holy hell Logan is so good in it and I think about it all the fucking time

Serendipity Author: TheLastGoodGoldfish Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Veronica/Piz, Carrie, Gia, Stu Cobbler, Ensemble Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Detective-ing Setting: Post Season 3 Spoilers: 3.20, “The Bitch is Back” and The Movie Chapters: 4 (out of a planned 6, fingers crossed!!!) Word Count: 59763 Status: Complete Summary: During her sophomore year at Hearst, Veronica takes on your run-of-the-mill blackmail case: the clients hate her, the evidence is impossible to destroy, and her ex turns out to be a bit of a distraction, but Veronica is a sucker for a damsel-in-distress. Even if the damsel is an intoxicated, pissed off Carrie Bishop. Notes: I AM HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING. Transplanting the movie plot to this timeframe works tremendously and TLGG’s execution is fucking perfect. Carrie is a powerhouse in this fic and god, Logan is such a honey it in which is why it is being recc’d for him. Him practically letting Carrie move in with him and doing his damnedest to protect Carrie and Gia (much to Veronica’s chagrin) is so, so important to me and I love him so much.

The Phenomenal Pixie - Interlude #1 - “Bugs” Author: TheLastGoodGoldfish Pairing: Logan/Veronica, OC’s Genre: Humor, Fluff, Logan and Veronica Are Smarter Than You Setting: AU (Season 3) Spoilers: uhhh n/a Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5072 Status: Complete Summary: Dating a superhero poses a unique set of challenges. Notes: Tiny sequel to The Phenomenal Pixie which you absolutely must read first (and is recommended above) because it’s a fucking delight. Logan is incredible in this fic and I would die for him, like always. The part where Steve can sense Logan is thinking about punching him in the face-- a million chefs kisses.

The Medusa Jewel Author: TheLastGoodGoldfish Pairing: Logan/Veronica Genre: Established Relationship Bliss, Fluff Setting: MKAT Spoilers: MKAT Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5336 Status: Complete Summary: Logan and Veronica's new neighbor is a writer. Notes: is my TLGG obsession shining through? good because it fucking should be. The Logan/Veronica in this relationship is so sweet and perfect and is 100% my reality and i would like to bathe in this fic and live in it forever as is my right.

Drowning Together Author: bryrosea Pairing: Logan/Veronica Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort Setting: Season 3 Spoilers: 3.07, “Of Vice and Men” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 897 Status: Complete Summary: AU of the confrontation scene from 3x07: Of Vice and Men (Logan and Veronica both need a hug) Notes: Absolute wonderful insight and even some reconciliation into a canonical season three fight. Logan calming down while Veronica falls apart as they hug is so important to me.

Interrupt Us Author: bryrosea Pairing: Logan/Veronica Genre: Romance, Hijinks, They Want To Fuck So Bad Setting: Post TDTL Spoilers: through TDTL Chapters: 1 Word Count: 17223 Status: Complete Summary: Logan Echolls is home from deployment. Time to cue the sweeping movie montage, right? Notes: Logan and Veronica try to have sex everywhere and it is my life force. The car scene when they get pulled over and Logan instinctively hiding under Veronica’s desk....god i love everyone in this bar

Ready to Go Author: Amberina Pairing: Logan/Duncan; Veronica Genre: Friendship, Romance, Angst Setting: Post Season 1 Spoilers: not obvious but 1.22, “Leave it to Beaver” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6346 Status: Complete Summary: "Let's leave. Let's go. What's left in Neptune for us anyway?" (AKA Duncan, Logan and Veronica have wacky adventures on the road! Also angst.) Notes: Logan getting hissy and storming off from the car while Duncan and Veronica just watch him and then calling a taxi once he’s out of their sight is PEAK logan. I love boyfriends, even if they’re angst-ing in this, and they big time are.

Nashville On My Mind Author: hjcallipygian Pairing: Logan, Veronica, Duncan Genre: Friendship, Hijinks Setting: Post Season 1 AU Spoilers: 1.22, “Leave it to Beaver” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1659 Status: Complete Summary: Every year, they take a road trip together. This year, it's to Nashville, Tennessee. Notes: i just spent forty minutes trying to find this fic to the point where i was genuinely concerned i had hallucinated it. it’s so fucking good. a sequel/prequel of sorts to grand canyon by sadiekate (recc’d in the previously section). logan is a mess and by god do i love him

Six Times Logan Echolls Got Wet Author: bryrosea, CarolineShea, ghostcat, kmd0107, marshmallowtasha, SilverLining2k6 Pairing: Logan/Veronica Rating: Teen Genre: Romance, Friendship, Hijinks Setting: Everywhere Spoilers: All series to MKAT Chapters: 6 Word Count: 11568 Status: Complete Summary: aka: The Wet Henley ChroniclesSix stories in which we probably give Logan Echolls pneumonia, inspired by the movie's infamous wet henley. Set variously across the series and post-MKAT. Notes: each chapter is written by a different author, they’re all good but bryrosea’s chapter and silvery’s chapter are my favorites. set during the summer between season 1 & 2 and post season three respectively they do such a great job dealing with the fractious and tumultuous nature of Logan/Veronica’s relationship at the time and i love it so much

A Little Dysfunctionality Goes A Long Way Author: fluffernutter8 Pairing: Logan/Veronica Rating: Teen Genre: ANGST with a side of fucking ANGST, happy ending but jesus Setting: Post Season 3 AU Spoilers: 1.22, “Leave it to Beaver” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2878 Status: Complete Summary: Despite their history, Logan and Veronica might be somewhere on the brink of normal. A few years post season 3. Notes: i just read this for the first time 07/13/20 at 9:08pm because when i asked shelby for her favorite logan fics she included this one. i am fucking dead now and-- there’s nothing else to say about it. i’m just fucking dead. for YEARS i have said that nobody with the username fluffernutter8 should be able to write shit this goddamn emotional and yet, time and time again, i find myself here fuckign wrecked and furious about it

these are just ghosts that broke my heart before i met you Author: theviolonist Pairing: Logan, Veronica, Carrie, Dick Rating: Teen Genre: Introspection, Angst, I Love Logan Setting: Pre Movie & Movie Spoilers: Movie Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1326 Status: Complete Summary: In the army they say, don't think of the target as a person, otherwise you won't have the guts to pull the trigger. Notes: fuck, you guys. this one is so beautiful. an exploration into logan’s grief and him trying to move on and it cuts like a damn knife because he can never really do it but fuck he wants to so bad and [lucas scott voice] that’s gotta mean something, right? truly so so wonderful

Fugue Author: vaeran Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Logan/Lilly, Dick Rating: Teen Genre: Angst, hopeful ending Setting: Post Season 1 Spoilers: 1.22, “Leave it to Beaver” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4137 Status: Complete Summary: It's something he refuses to let go because it defines who he is and what he has become. Notes: deviates from the PCHer confrontation on the bridge, which means logan takes a little longer to come around to reconciliation with veronica. it’s perfect and i particularly love the logan/lilly in this, he’s hurt but still so impossibly and eternally in love with her

One Flew Over the Echolls Nest Author: Wynn Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Duncan Rating: Teen Genre: Angst, Friendship Setting: Post Season 1 AU Spoilers: 1.22, “Leave it to Beaver” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1507 Status: Complete Summary: Open wide and see what's inside. A bridge and a bed and Veronica. Logan finds himself in a mental institution after the events of "Leave it to Beaver." Veronica, Duncan, and Logan's psychiatrist attempt to help. Notes: so sad and so good!!! the part where Logan’s psychiatrist asks him when the last time he was happy was fucking wrecks me everytime!!

Free at last Author: querulousgawks Pairing: Logan, Weevil, Aaron Rating: Teen Genre: Frenemies, They Are Boyfriends Setting: Season 2 Spoilers: 2.09, “My Mother, the Fiend” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1242 Status: Complete Summary: Logan and Weevil and fire go a long way back. A flashback scene interrupts their Season 2 meeting in the Neptune Grand. Notes: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS SO GOD DAMN MUCH

The Right Shade of Red Author: ghostcat Pairing: Trina, Logan, Aaron Rating: Teen Genre: ANGST Setting: Pre-series Spoilers: 1.15, “Ruskie Business” Chapters: 1 Word Count: 883 Status: Complete Summary: Trina finds her jerky little brother hiding in her closet and does the unexpected thing. (Or, A time Logan trusted Trina) Notes: If you want 883 words to be able to make you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck this is the fic for you! I love the Echolls family dynamics so much, and this one is excellent.

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yeonchi · 4 years ago

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Kisekae Insights #17: Angelina Ballerina

It’s about time I started the second run of Kisekae Insights after taking a break for the past few months. My objective is to hopefully cover Gokaiger, Decade and Soulbound this year, but there are some things that I need to cover before that because they are needed in order to understand certain aspects.

Like Fifi and Roary, Angelina Ballerina was implemented early on in my personal project and the characters continue to play big roles to this day. At the time, I was playing Warriors Orochi 2 on the PSP, which introduced me to the characters of the Samurai Warriors series. As a result, some of these guys got Japanese warrior names whereas the rest got Chinese warrior names.

In case you haven’t noticed, yes, I have (predominately) used the CGI-animated sequel, The Next Steps, in this project. Watching the sequel was how I got into this series a decade ago; while I have heard about the original 2D-animated series, it never really appealed to me, which is why I prefer this version over that. And look, I know there are people who don’t like the sequel for various reasons, but you are free to have your opinion as long as you respect the opinions of others. Don’t worry, characters from the original series have been implemented as well.

Setting the record straight (voice actors)

I’m putting this list before the break because this is really important. Here are the characters’ voice actors for the UK and US versions of The Next Steps:

Angelina Mouseling: Charlotte Spencer (UK/US)

Alice Nimbletoes: Rachael Louise Miller (UK)/Naomi McDonald (US)

Marco Quesillo: Louis Williams (UK)/Jules de Jongh (US)

Gracie: Charlie Cameron (UK)/Jo Wyatt (US)

Viki/Vici: Emily Dormer (UK)/Jules de Jongh (US)

AJ/AZ: Lizzie Waterworth (UK)/Larissa Murray (US)

Ms Mimi: Larissa Murray (US)

Maurice Mouseling: Simon Mattacks (UK/US)

Matilda Mouseling: Emma Tate (UK/US)

Polly Mouseling: Leah Zabari (UK/US)

Mrs Thimble: Beverly Klein (UK/US)

Alright, time to rant about the English dubs of this series. See, because the characters of this series are not credited under their voice actors, it can be hard to exactly determine who voiced who (a pain I know all too well in regards to Sea Princesses). On top of that, because there are different English voices for the US and the UK (because they don’t want American kids to end up speaking with British accents or vice versa), it can be easy to miss things or mess them up. Some US voice actors are based in the UK, which can throw things off as well.

Just as there are UK-produced children’s shows that get redubbed for the US, there are US-produced children’s shows that get redubbed for the UK (particularly on Nick Jr). In Australia, we tend to get the “original” version of the dub depending on where the show (or its source materials) originated – if it originally came from the UK, then we get the UK dub, but if it originally came from the US, we get the US dub. In the case of Angelina Ballerina, we get the UK dub and as such, I implemented the series with the assumption that the characters would speak as they did in the UK dub. As such, Marco and Gracie don’t speak in Hispanic or French accents.

Due to my initial ignorance and lack of information, I ended up crediting the characters’ US voice actors for Marco, Gracie and Ms Mimi instead of their UK voice actors. Even worse, I thought Naomi Wilkinson voiced Angelina until a friend of mine tweeted her years ago and confirmed that she didn’t voice Angelina. Also, the really funny thing is that there are people who unironically believed that Hilary Duff and Justin Bieber voiced Viki and AZ in the series. If only we all knew this one simple rule: If an actor isn’t credited in the series/episode, then they didn’t have a role in the series/episode. I did manage to work out the UK voice actors for the other characters, but why Alice’s voice actor was different in both versions despite her voice sounding similar I’ll never understand.

For some reason, I have been unable to find out who Ms Mimi’s UK voice actor is because nobody in the credits has owned up to voicing her. However, if I really had to guess, I would say that Emma Tate voiced her because even though the Scottish accent threw me off, she sounds a bit like Matilda (Angelina’s mum). As for Marco and Gracie’s UK voice actors, Louis Williams and Charlie Cameron, trying to find resumes or records of their past work has been impossible so I wasn’t able to find any proof, but I eventually did. Louis William’s LinkedIn profile mentions that he voiced Marco (he’s an English teacher in Japan now, shock of all shocks) and while Charlie Cameron doesn’t have a site or official profile of her own (why), I managed to link her roles for Dark Souls and Poppy Cat on IMDb to BTVA.

In the Moushouden Series, I ended up “recasting” Marco and Ms Mimi while keeping Gracie’s voice actor the same. Marco and Ms Mimi played major roles in my stories and I needed credits for them. “Getting” Louis Williams to “reprise” his role would have been impossible because he’s not an actor anymore, though it wouldn’t have been a big problem if I had found out earlier that he voiced Marco. Likewise, if I had managed to guess Ms Mimi’s UK voice actor earlier, then maybe I wouldn’t have needed to keep scratching my head all these years.

What’s in a name?

There has been quite a bit of speculation regarding the characters’ middle and last names, and I say “speculation” because there don’t seem to be any official sources that confirm it or the only official sources available can’t be accessed from the Wayback Archive because Adobe Flash is dead. Though the names were on the Wikipedia page at some stage, the only place where they exist now is on a poorly-maintained wiki of the series on Fandom. It is possible that Angelina and Alice’s middle and last names can be backed up because they were in the original series, but even then, I’m unable to do that due to lack of information (seriously, even the official website redirects to Mattel’s website, the absolute sellouts). So please take these names with a grain of salt:

Angelina Jeanette Mouseling

Alice Bridgette Nimbletoes

Marco Fernando Quesillo

Grace Madeleine “Gracie” le Chateau

Viktoria Andrea “Viki” Whiskerson

Adrian Zander James “A.Z.” Smithers (even though an official PDF from PBS WNET13 states that A.Z. stands for “Adam Zachariah”)

Mimi Jane Squigglytail

Maurice Rupert Mouseling

Matilda Felicity Mouseling

Polly Anne Mouseling

Harriet Cecily Thimble

Other stuff before I begin

In late 2015, there was talk of Angelina Ballerina getting relaunched in 2017 by Mattel and 9 Story Media Group. By 2017, however, nothing really came of it, or at least nothing significant that we could see. 9 Story currently have the distribution rights to both the 2D and CGI series, clips and episodes have been uploaded on the official Angelina Ballerina YouTube channel (a mix of UK and US versions, with Brazilian Portuguese and Latin American Spanish dubs on other channels) and the original books created by Katharine Holabird have been republished in the past two years.

Not seeing anything in 2017 has allowed Angelina Ballerina’s involvement in my personal project to flourish, but only time will tell whether anything else will come of this so-called relaunch. This series would probably have gone down the path of Fabio Yabu and Sea Princesses if it wasn’t so well-known all around the world.

The 9 Story pages show that there are some specials for the series. While the 2D series does have three specials, I could only find two movies in the CGI series that are fully original stories and not just episode compilations, namely The Shining Star Trophy and Dreams Do Come True. They don’t seem to be available on YouTube and the only online versions I could find use the US voices, meaning that a UK dub of these movies is unknown.

If you follow Gail Chord Schuler/Gabrielle Chana/The Church of Gail online, you might know that there is a Satanic Jesuit villain named Angelina Ballerina, depicted as a woman modelling a ballerina costume with wings. Rest assured that she is NOT the Angelina we all know and love, as Gail confirms in the comments of one of her videos (though there is a chance that trolls could have fed her that information).

All About Angelina

As I stated in #12, Maurice and the Takeda Army of Mouseland were in conflict with the Salacians before the Dimensional Merge. Because the time in their world, AB-561, was running faster compared to other worlds, they ended up on our Earth in 2009. In both timelines, Angelina and her family and friends became Hiroki and Parker’s comrades. In the first timeline, Angelina had an adventure with the Third Doctor. The second timeline is where things get detailed.

Before the Archangel Tunnel System was activated, there was no other way to get to Chipping Cheddar from Hong Kong, so when the Takeda Army were brought to this world, they had to do what they could to survive. Eventually, they ended up being controlled by another local army and used as their mascots. When Parker went to them to seek an alliance, he discovered this and helped the Takeda Army escape, which led them to pledge their allegiance to Parker.

Over the next two years, Parker and Hiroki became great friends with the Takeda Army’s officers. In 2010, Ms Mimi became disillusioned with Parker when she realised that he only seemed to care about fighting and enjoying himself on the battlefield. When the JIMPS were formed, Ms Mimi began to side with them as she saw Minnie and the others as the better strategists, but she had a newfound respect for Parker when he made peace with Minnie following their battle against each other.

When Squid Girl turns Minnie against Parker, however, Ms Mimi sides with the former again and a split occurs within the Takeda. Ms Mimi became one of the Sanada Army’s commanders while Gracie, AJ and Viki surrendered to the Sanada. Angelina was the first officer Parker found after being separated from Hiroki. Her family was being guarded by Alice and Marco before Parker arrives with reinforcements from the Date Army.

Months after Parker’s death and resurrection, the Sanada Army finally fell. Ms Mimi and the Takeda defectors rejoin their former comrades; Ms Mimi finally admits that she was a fool who never really understood Parker because she believed in loyalty and discipline.

With Parker’s army disbanded and the Flowertots returning home, the Takeda became the only close friends Hiroki had left. They supported him in his fight against Girl Power and the Teiro Army, so much so that they were willing to accept him in their ranks if he decided to leave his secondary school army. Ultimately, Hiroki declined their offer and became a ronin.

The Next Step

The Takeda Army eventually managed to resettle in Mouseland which was transported to Shizuoka Prefecture between the Archangel Tunnels to the Shikoku region and Cardiff. The Takeda Army had no significant relevance in 2013, but Angelina and her family attended Hiroki and Akari’s wedding, which was held in Chipping Cheddar (Kikugawa).

In 2014, the Takeda Army rose back to significance again as a result of events in real life (see #16). Following the Battle of Mikatagahara and Akari’s betrayal of Hiroki, Angelina joined the Doctor (again) as his companion. Later that year, Maurice would attempt another expedition to Kyōto when Girl Power forces stationed around Nagashino Castle in Nagoya would block his army’s path. When the Doctor arrives with Hiroki and Angelina, Hiroki gathers up some reinforcements before the Takeda Army splits up into three groups; one group defending the main camp, one group laying siege to the castle and one group attacking Girl Power forces stationed in nearby Shitaragahara. Despite the Takeda suffering severe casualties at the hands of the superior Girl Power army, Hiroki charges into Nagashino Castle alone and fights the enemy commanders before leaving his drones to crash into the castle keep.

Soon after, Angelina would participate in prototype testing for the Superhero Project, becoming the Pink Samurai Ranger alongside the Doctor and his other companions as they fought Girl Power in a parallel world. Following that adventure, Angelina would be summoned back by her father upon hearing word that Girl Power were preparing for an all-out siege on Yokohama. The Takeda Army allied with their old enemies, the Salacian (Uesugi) Army as they fought at Sekigahara and Ōsaka Castle. After the world was destroyed and restored, the Takeda were one of the armies that helped UNIT defend Yokohama from Girl Power.

Though Angelina stopped being the Doctor’s companion after 2014, she would regain that role again in 2017 when she and Alice officially joined the Superhero Project. Angelina and Marco make a cameo appearance in the Series 10 premiere as a couple and that’s the only time their relationship is brought up (I think that ship was hinted at in the series but not explicitly shown).

Having been selected, Angelina and Alice joined the Gokaigers as GokaiPink and GokaiGreen respectively. Their fighting styles were adapted to fit with their characters and the original Gokaiger footage; on top of predominately wielding guns, GokaiPink incorporates ballet into her fighting while GokaiGreen clumsily incorporates gymnastics which she makes up for with stealth and trickery.

As for the rest of the mouselings, they were hired by BOARD to become Kamen Riders as follows:

Kamen Rider Blade – Marco

Kamen Rider Garren – AJ

Kamen Rider Leangle – Viki

Kamen Rider Glaive – Ms Mimi

Kamen Rider Larc – Gracie

Kamen Rider Lance – Polly

Although not as significant compared to Fifi and Roary, the mouselings do play a significant role in the project. As with many obscure series I’ve encountered, finding accurate information is a daunting task. Though I have managed to find information that I haven’t been able to find in the past, there are times where I am still unable to do so, which results in me having to speculate missing information (usually by observation) that may or may not be correct. This is not so much a problem in Angelina Ballerina compared to Sea Princesses, but regardless, it’s better to have every piece of information confirmed than have even one piece of speculated information.

#kisekae insights #angelina ballerina

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cookiedoughmeagain · 3 years ago

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Haven questions + random numbers: 2, 5, 7, 8, 13 and... 29

2. Least favorite Trouble?

hmmmm, well …. the whole Skinwalker thing was pretty grim, and Harry Nix is all kinds of horrific. Also, Landon Taylor's bugs me because how were they supposed to have survived the gaps between Troubles? And the everything-you-touch-turns-to-chocolate-cake one bugs me because it's not *everything* because the plate is fine, so couldn't you just eat a salad with a fork (if you wanted)? I mean actually that's the perfect Trouble really - chocolate cake whenever you want and you just have to use cutlery to eat anything else XD

5. Do you have any ideas for a Trouble the show could have done?

I am not very good at thinking up Troubles really, at least not on demand. I think I might have managed to put some in a fic where it fitted the plot, but … the short answer is basically no.

I would have loved it if they'd done a musical episode though. Or more AUs. A Valentine's themed one-off episode to go with the Christmas one. Maybe a Trouble that required them all to hole up in the Gull over night and get drunk.

7. If Haven crossed over with any fandom, what would you choose and why?

Lost Girl!!! Because it's a perfect match - half of the Troubles could easily be Fae powers and half of the Fae powers could easily be Troubles. And both shows were filmed in Canada and aired 2010-2015; it could actually have happened (Yeah they were probably on different networks or whatever but the practicalities are besides the point now anyway XD)

But ah it could be so cool! The Haven gang hanging out in the Dal! Bo turning up in Haven during her wandering days before she knows what her thing is! Kenzi and Duke working together pre-series! Trick calling in on his old friends the Teagues!! Kenzi and Bo on a (very stylish) shopping trip with Jordan!!! Ahhh!

Also, Buffy - Haven and Sunnydale as neighbouring small towns with competing levels of weirdness and disaster.

Also, Supernatural - because if there was ever a slightly strange small town with the potential to stump the Winchesters, it is Haven. (I may have written a bit of that in fic form)

8. Who was a character you wanted to see more of?

um … all of them? Actually, the Rev. Not in the sense that I like him but just in the sense of wanting to know more about him and how he fits in with the 1980s timeline. Like it would have been really cool to see the 1980s version of him!

And Evi. I never understand whether she was genuinely trying to help Duke or just working an angle. And I guess that ambiguity is probably a deliberate thing from the writers but I find it frustrating :/

13. Favorite guest star?

I actually thought William Shatner did a really good job, which I wouldn't have expected him to be so good at that scary/creepy/unhinged thing he had going on.

29. Did you watch the show while it was airing or after?

After. I think it was 2014 when I first came across it. And it kind of snuck up on me in terms of getting really invested in it. For at least a couple of seasons it was just something I watched. And then at some point …. bam! I was hooked and discovered fanfic XD

#haven syfy

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shadowfae · 3 years ago

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1- Not much tbh, just what you've posted, and 2- To be honest I quite like your long answers. It can definitely wait though, you should get some sleep.

Is your warpriest link a constant thing? Does it ever fade into the background? I'm contemplating forming a second link, something happier than my copinglink, and I'm not sure how to tell when to tell when the line of a link vs a persona is crossed when not worn out of necessity.

And the original ask so I have it on hand. I did take a look at your original context, and if you're cool with it, I'll edit this post with a link for those who may find this is a useful answer and need that on hand. Otherwise, it'll stay a mystery.

But yes, it seems like my Sabe experiences would be a useful thing to talk about here. And in order to do that, I need to go over four things: who and what Sabe is, why he exists the way that he does, what that does for me, and lastly what I think he is in terms of terminology and why.

To start, here is his toyhou.se profile, if you want to read more about his actual story and thoughts and whatnot. But I doubt you'll have the necessary context for that, so let me go into it. RuneScape (RS) is one of the oldest MMORPGs in existence. WoW might be older but I doubt it. Basically it's a medieval magic fantasy that's very long running and you the player end up the World Guardian, aka the guy that stops the gods (who are very powerful folks who just don't die of natural causes and typically stand for some philosophy) from blowing the world up because Guthix, the dead god of balance, asked you to. Well, he voluntold you. And that makes you a major chess piece, Elder Gods get involved, it's a big mess.

But before all that happened, back in 2006 when I was introduced to the game and very shitty at it, well. I liked the lore insofar that I've always liked the lore, it was interesting and I liked thinking about it. I didn't have membership and I sucked at playing so I just read the wiki and the God Letters over and over and sometimes the Postbag from the Hedge. Alongside my two friends, we played at being children of the then-triad of main gods: Saradomin, Guthix, and Zamorak.

I liked Zamorak best, but I didn't think his ideas would be the best for society as a whole, so I ended up playing child of Guthix. Eventually we grew up and grew apart but every couple of years I'd go back to RuneScape, read the lore, settle on what choices I'd make if I could play, and think about being the player character. In 2010 I discovered a fic - dawn by khayr, it's on Ao3 and dA - about Iban, son of Zamorak, right around when I was reading Percy Jackson. Cue him showing up as a soulbond and an older brother figure and guiding me right up until the end of sixth grade. Iban got me through the ruthless bullying that would later set the stage for all my major suicidal-ideation and self-hatred for the entirety of high school: even then, I was more stable than I might've been otherwise, because he interfered.

Saradomin stands for strength through order. Procedures and law and diplomacy and war strategy. He was originally kind of a ripoff of the Christian god, but he's grown to be more of an order-over-peace character and is quite well-written. Guthix stands for strength through balance, and has been all over the board in terms of what he's done and will do. He's kind of a dick, actually, but his heart's in the right place.

Zamorak, as you've heard, is strength through chaos and personal strife. It's no "the strong over the weak" or "the strong take care of the weak", it's flat-out "everyone is strong, and just need the right circumstances to tap into it to be the best they can possibly be". Now, his philosophy is kind of more for warriors and scholars, but if you tilt your head, it applies to everyone. Chronically ill folks will find their chaos in fighting to get up every day and maintain a life. Folks in traumatizing, abusive situations find that chaos in their very survival. Scholars challenge themselves and their fellows and their predecessors trying to find the answers they so need. Nobody in lockstep, no such thing as "we've always done it this way."

A lot of human Zamorakians and Saradominist propaganda says that Zamorak is simply absolute evil: and to be fair, when most of that was written, he kinda was because he was based loosely on the Christian devil. Later writing says that they're typically mistaken on that. Zamorak isn't evil. The very first thing he did upon becoming a god was fulfill a promise and lead a slave rebeliion. (The Avernic uprising, if anyone's curious.) He stands for the downtrodden and says "You are never going to get your dignity by going through the motions and trying to peacefully show you're worth respect. Burn some shit down and prove that you won't stand for this bullshit."

Zamorak in a Saradominist's eyes is someone whose banner you wear when you want to be a crazy murderer. Zamorak in a Zamorakian's eyes is the singing voice who murmurs "Get up, this isn't enough to kill you, you can still do this," when transphobic laws get passed or you hear a slur thrown your way on the street.

And as someone who grew up queer and nonhuman, yeah, that resonates, and the older I get the more I think "Guthixian philosophy is best for a society at large, but Zamorakianism for individuals is good." Because Zamorakianism can't really apply on a theocratic level. It really doesn't. It turns into American bootstrap culture and no social services and all that shitty stuff.

The funny thing is that Zamorak himself has no issues helping out if he thinks you need it. (If he didn't, he wouldn't be cool with asking for help, or giving it when he's asked. Which he does do repeatedly so. The man has more kindness in him than people want to admit.) What I do find fascinating is what he thinks of the actions of some of his longtime subordinates, who clearly support him, but I don't think support his actual philosophy. Because if you ask me, he'd side with the downtrodden humans of Meiyerditch, not the vampire lords that treat them like cattle. He's proven that he likes humans, and doesn't see them as unworthy. I do wonder if Jagex will show us what he might do about that.

Either way. Ahem. Over the course of a decade and a half, I keep going back to RuneScape, refining my philosophy and side, thinking again what I would do playing the game proper. About... I want to say five years ago, Jagex opened up the Sixth Age and I finally noticed, and they rewrote every god's philosophy because they wanted every single one to be actually playable. Not just "hurr durr evil" but actually have a logical line of thought. They probably didn't have pop culture paganism in mind, but the gods of RS are incredibly well-suited to it.

Well, I found that out, and immediately went through every god's philosophy, and reasoned my way through it. What does a worshipper of this god look like? What sort of life would they lead? If i apply this to me, what does that look like from that perspective? Do I understand this? Is it comfortable to exist in?

And as it turns out, I understand Zamorak the most, followed a close second by Armadyl, which was quite surprising. Zaros remains incomprehensible and I don't trust like that. (That's another story.) So I thought about it more, and it stuck even when I wandered off to different fandoms and interests. But what happened was that I ended up internalizing it, unknowingly and without meaning to.

It meant that when, two years later, I ended up in a horrific and traumatizing situation, the anchor I hit that held me together was a mixture of being a Devil - I am a fucking God you will obey me and recognize my power - and Zamorak's core philosophy: this cannot kill me, this cannot stop me, this is pure fucking hell and I am going to laugh in the face of death because people are forged in hellfire and I will walk away knowing what I'm made of.

And I was right. Honestly, out of everyone who was there with me, I think I'm the only one that was that deeply entrenched and walked out without trauma. I do not believe I could have done that had I not internalized Zamorak's philosophy. (That isn't to say if the others had that philosophy they wouldn't be traumatized, because there were absolutely other factors I wouldn't know about and some that I do and didn't do them any favours; but I am saying that it saved my ass and without it, I might not have been okay.)

I walked out of that with zero regrets. Zero. Even now, I don't regret a thing. Because it doesn't matter what happened or how much I was lied to or if he deserved my kindness. I know what I perceived to be happening, and I know how I reacted, and when the pieces were down I was stronger than steel, gave kindness without considering the cost, and I walked away unscathed.

How many people can say they've looked death in the eye and laughed? More than there should be, not too many that knowing what I'm capable of when put into pure chaos isn't somehow impressive. Because it is. And Zamorak's words proved themselves, or rather, I proved him entirely correct.

And when I last went back to RuneScape, and thought about it with enough time to put it all into hindsight, well. Aw, shit, he was right. Then vaguely around that time I went back and read Dawn, which was unfinished, tracked down the author and demanded to know how it fucking ended. (She told me and we're still friends like three years later. xD) Then I went back and found my old OCs, and decided fuck it, I'm making my own World Guardian.

So first thing I did was log in and jump over to the Makeover Mage and make myself into a boy. Kept the plateskirt though, I wanted to have the RS equivalent of a limp wrist to prove I'm Very Queer. Then I went about remaking my character. I wanted to make a self-insert, I was old enough to know it wasn't cringey, it was just fun, but I didn't want to use my default avatar with the black hair over one eye and the Chaorruption. I wanted to make a new self-insert based in nothing I was already using.

So I made the most beautiful man I could! Long, dark brown hair, pretty semi-dark skin, looked Kharidian, and then I said fuck it and made him Zamorak's youngest son. Originally, he was adopted when he was young by Iban and Clivet, and suffered serious imposter syndrome when being WG meant he'd never get demigod powers. But as I grew more confident in myself, he ended up getting powers? And then eventually I rewrote his backstory, and then wrote about his mother, and her relationship with Zamorak, and then he had friends like Blaire and Icthlarin (who was also my furry awakening, rip me).

Then with the most recently questline I've been getting a bit more into RS magical theory, and I've been mulling it over lots, and Seanan McGuire's Middlegame definitely helped; and I figured out how I wanted him to handle being World Guardian: it didn't make sense for him to be openly Zamorak's son, the other gods would just target his family to manipulate him. So I had him play neutral openly and Zamorakian to his friends, effectively living a double life.

Then he just looked up one day and said "Oh, by the way, my father won't acknowledge me to keep me safe but I don't know that so we have a very unsteady relationship because I don't know if he loves me", and then Children of Mah came out, and he was all "Oh and I think I just got disowned (I didn't, Zamorak was protecting me, but I don't know that) so my relationship with Zamorak is Fucking Shitty" and he was stuck that way until I figured out how to save their relationship.

It culminated in Sabe not knowing how his Mahjarrat powers worked and guessing, and hating himself for being half-and-half, and missing everything about being a Mahjarrat, and literally you couldn't have gotten more obvious in order to tell me I was having Fucking Issues coming to terms with the fact I didn't have any understanding or knowledge of my own heritage, but whatever, eventually I noticed that.

And as I've been working to understand myself and my heritage, so too has Sabe been doing that with his Mahjarrat heritage. But for the longest time, no matter how I put him and Zamorak in the same room in a scene to try and get them to talk it out, it wasn't working. Something wasn't right. Sabe resented being World Guardian, hated having to betray his family, didn't know if he was wanted, and hated himself for having to kill Mah, the mother of his species.

Not that long ago, a few months actually, he informed me (which is my shorthand for 'I suddenly figured out this happened, and it genuinely feels like remembering that one fucking word you have on the tip of your tongue, I always knew and just forgot for a while') that no, he'd been ripped in two by a hope devourer, brought to his father's stronghold, and Zamorak split his magic between mortal and divine in order to get around his godproofing and heal him. Zamorak's intense worry for his youngest son was what caused Sabe to break down and tell him honestly what was going on and how he was feeling, which caused Zamorak to do the same, and they finally, finally made up.

A week later, I noticed the connection between Sabe's Mahjarrat issues and my Irish issues, and started to wonder if he was a linktype.

I mean... he's a self-insert. He makes the choices I would, the me in the here and now, that I think are best. He's not a person I was and still know myself to be, he's not someone I grow into, he's not living his life beside me like a shadow. He's me, choosing the things I do, because I say so. But he's also me in the things he reflects, the things he struggles with, and things I had zero fucking conscious input on.

Sabe is the person I am when a crisis hits and I have to deal with the chaos. Sabe is the person I am when I need to lead. Sabe is the person I am when I am desperate to be known and loved by those I consider family. Sabe is the person I am when I want to be sure in where I came from, where I will return to, and the things that I will always be. Sabe is a man of darkness who knows the light as an acquaintance and nothing more, who is cruel and careless and kind.

Sabe is a warpriest of Zamorakian philosophy, because it took me twenty fucking years to put into words how I see the world, and now that I know, I will argue them to death and use them to help others. Drakath may have wanted a messiah to share the hivemind with others. Sabe is a warpriest, spreading the word and calling home the broken and the damned. He is the Last Rider, not the last of the Ilujanka but the one who keeps riding towards the chaos and never falls, no matter what.

Some of who Sabe is I have conscious input on. A whole lot of him was unintentional and perfectly reflects me.

So when it comes to terminology... I don't know what he is. A self-insert, yes. A linktype, maybe. A kintype, also maybe. Sabe doesn't feel like my past linktypes, because Sabe isn't always catharsis and comfort. Until he made up with his dad, Sabe was brutal and hurt a lot and constantly yearning for his foundation and slowly going mad. It wasn't fun. I just refused to do anything but see the story through. I was going to get it right. I wanted to see it to the end. I wanted to be the Last Rider, even though I didn't phrase it that way.

But to answer your actual question, of what he feels like when I'm not actively being him out of necessity, desire, and active thought. If it fades into the background.

And like... it can? Sabe as he is, recognized for what and who he is, is kind of a new thing. Sabe as a concept is very old, but Sabe as what he is right now is new, and confusing, and honestly I'm still trying to figure out what to make of it.

Like, seriously. Sabe is Zamorak's son. Am I Zamorak's son? Is he keeping an eye on me as I am? Would he be proud of me? Would he offer his approval of my progress? Does that make me, in some way, the World Guardian?

I have not a clue, buddy. Not a goddamn clue.

So what it means is that I've been paying attention, really. I don't just become strong in times of crisis. I've been trying to do better. Be better. Learn, and listen, and rethink myself. Break out of lockstep, of doing things the way I've always done them. Try to always do better than I did, build habits I like, stop waiting for things to change and just do it. Become the chaos, instead of waiting for it to hit me.

It means I need to live up to what Guthix told Sabe to do. It means being gentler, being kinder, not burning bridges when I'm not sure. It means keeping an eye out for any sign Zamorak's listening, in case I am his son, in case I really have to decide what I'm gonna do about being the son of chaos incarnate.

But other than the questioning, what it feels like is just... what I was already dealing with, just a little more at arm's length and easier to deal with. Once I recognize that his issues are reflective of mine, if I solve his, I have a pretty good idea of how to solve mine. Some of it won't work exactly right - Zamorak will always forgive him for not being the son he expected he might have had, my own parents may not, yay I'm queer and pagan - but it's a good rule of thumb.

It's also just comforting to know that when in doubt, nothing can kill me, because I simply refuse to die. I am World Guardian, I am a demigod of chaos incarnate, all the hellfire in the world can do nothing but strengthen me. And if I present those to myself as unshakeable beliefs, because for Sabe they are, then I'll be okay. It probably couldn't stop most disasters or tragedies, but I got hit by a car, broke five bones, and walked away with a record recovery time, so I mean... I can't prove that I can't die by some accident or tragedy, but you also can't prove that I can. (Trying to do so usually falls under what we call 'murder', and I personally believe I can't be murdered. Only assassinated.)

But really, I think the worst that could possibly happen with a new linktype is that you learn what not to do. It's new, it's scary, it's chaotic, and from where I'm standing, that's the best way to learn.

#asks #anonymous #on copinglinking #on voluntary identities #on questioning #my experiences #here have me yelling about runescape and complaining about questioning #You Asked For This #essays of the skyrose garden #actually yeah this is an essay

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kitkatwinchester · 4 years ago

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On September 13th, 2005, a new show made its debut on the WB. It was about two brothers whose lives were flipped upside down the day their mother was murdered by a demon. It had a small budget, a small cast, and a small crew, but the people involved were dedicated. They wanted to do everything they could to make sure the story of Sam and Dean Winchester was told. They wanted to show us the true power of family in the darkest of times. Little did any of them know just how much of a legacy they would create, and just how much of a family their following would come to be.

I was four years old when Supernatural first came on the air. I had no concept of any show beyond Blue’s Clues, Lazy Town, and the Disney Channel. I was a smart kid, but a kid nonetheless, and Supernatural just wasn’t something I was ready for. As I grew up, Supernatural achieved milestone after milestone. It made it through the channel change to the CW. It survived a writer’s strike in its third season. And in April of 2010, it hit its 100th episode milestone. As it neared the end of its fifth season, Eric Kripke’s original storyline had been told, and it seemed as if the show would end, then and there. But it didn’t. Instead, it continued beyond its originally scheduled timeline, taking on a new showrunner in its sixth season and continuing for years after. And in 2011, in the middle of said sixth season, it finally made its way onto my radar.

Tenzin Tsekye and I have been best friends for fourteen years, so we’ve spent a lot of time together. We’ve had hundreds of sleepovers, shared a million memories, and watched thousands of shows and movies together. So when, at one of our many sleepovers, she suggested that we watch an episode of something called “Supernatural”, I trusted her. She knows what I watch, she knows how I am. I was bound to like it. Except there was one problem. She insisted on watching this one episode that she really liked (Family Remains) that was smack dab in the middle of season four, and I was not having it. I told her that we had to start from the beginning. I didn’t know anything about this show, so how could I possibly watch an episode in the middle of its fourth season? It wouldn’t make any sense to me. She kept assuring me that it didn’t have anything to do with the main plot (a concept I now know as “Monster of the Week”), and that I would love it. But I wasn’t convinced, and I was persistent. I told her that if we weren’t going to start from the beginning, I wouldn’t watch it at all.

We argued about it for at least an hour, and finally, I backed down. I said that we could watch the season four episode only if we went back and watched the first episode afterwards. She agreed. After we watched Family Remains, she stuck to our agreement and we watched the pilot. And then we watched the second episode. And the third. And the fourth. And my entire life was changed forever.

It still baffles me to this day how close I came to never starting Supernatural to begin with. I thank Tenzin all the time for being so stubborn on that night. Who knows what my life would be like today if she hadn’t been? Looking back, it’s hard for me to picture a time before I started watching Supernatural--so much so that pinpointing when, exactly, it became the obsession that it is today is near impossible. But what follows is a rough timeline of events based on the major things I do remember.

Tenzin and I never wound up watching the rest of the show together. Instead, I brought the show up to my dad. It took a while, since we were both pretty busy, but by the next year, Supernatural had become our new thing. I was a busy middle schooler, so it was often hard to fit in watching more than one episode on the days we spent together, which meant it was slow-going for a while, but we did our best. Luckily, the fact that we weren’t binging it all at once meant that we were able to avoid a lot of the cliffhangers, (which, looking back at it now, makes me feel very lucky), and it gradually became my favorite show of all time. By the time Season 9 was on the air, in 2014, we had caught up on all eight seasons on Netflix, and I was hooked and ready for more.

We didn’t have cable, so instead, we watched every episode a few days after they aired once they came on Hulu (I didn’t learn about cwtv.com until much later), and it was at this point that I really started to dive into the fandom. Now that I was caught up, I was able to look up fandom content as I pleased without worrying about spoilers. I guess you could say this is when the obsession truly kicked in.

As I came up on my teen years, Supernatural became my life. I started requesting even more Supernatural merchandise as birthday gifts, Christmas presents, and everything in between, and I would wear the gifts I got anywhere I could. Within a few months, I discovered the world of fan fiction, and within a year, I grew confident and excited enough to start writing my own. I started watching video compilations not just of the show, but of the cast--behind the scenes videos, bloopers, convention videos, and so much more. I joined Facebook groups about the show and finally started interacting with other fans, making all kinds of friendships along the way.

On top of that, as the tenth season came to a close with no signs of the show stopping, my mom finally caved in to my babbling and excitement and started watching the show with me. We started back at the Pilot (which, for me, was probably about my fifth re-watch at that point), and we made it all the way to about mid-season five just as the eleventh season was getting ready to air.

And then a truly amazing thing happened.

For my 16th birthday, that same amazing mother bought me tickets to the Supernatural Convention in Chicago.

To put it lightly, I was excited. Very excited.

On the weekend of September 9th, 2016, just a week before my birthday, I got to meet the Supernatural cast for the first time. And that convention experience was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

When we were on our way to the convention, I was really just excited that I’d finally get to meet these celebrities--these HOT celebrities--that I’d seen on the big screen for the last few years. At this point, they were basically idols to me, and even having the chance to see them in person was the best thing I could’ve asked for. But when I got to that convention, I was hit with something even better than I could’ve hoped for.

I say all the time that the SPN Family is a different fandom than any other. There’s a special feeling throughout our fandom that, as someone who is in multiple fandoms, I have not been able to feel anywhere else. When I try to explain that to people, nobody gets it. Even my mom, when I first started talking about it, kind of shrugged it off like it was nothing. But when we got to that convention, she felt it too. The air is different. The second you walk into a room of fellow Supernatural fans, you feel comfortable. You feel welcome.

That first convention, my mom didn’t really come with me to the panels. She took some photo ops with me, but being as far behind as she was, she didn’t want to spoil things for herself too much, so I spent the majority of the convention by myself, at a mere fifteen years old. But I never felt scared or alone or apprehensive. I made friends immediately. The people I was sitting next to, the people I stood in line with, basically anyone I came in contact with struck up a conversation with me, and it would end with Facebook usernames, Twitter handles, or even phone numbers being exchanged to contact each other in the future. It was insane. I’d never been in an environment like that before, and I loved it. And the openness didn’t stop there.

When it came time to meet the actual members of the Supernatural cast, they were just as kind and wonderful to talk to. At every panel, the guests were so eager to interact with fans, and many of them even stepped off the stage to come say hi to fans who were in line to ask them questions. Even the three main stars, Jensen, Jared, and Misha--who had to stay on the stage for security reasons--did everything they could to bond with fans and make them smile or laugh, and it was beautiful. And that transcended beyond the panels.

That Sunday, my mom and I had a photo op with Jensen and Jared, and let me tell you, I was crazy nervous. I mean, these were huge celebrities and people that I really looked up to, and I was about to get a photo with them. Plus, Jensen was my very first celebrity crush and all-time favorite actor at the time (he still is, to be honest). The whole thing was crazy nerve-wracking.

After standing in line for a bit, it was finally our turn, and as my mom and I stepped up, and I turned to Jensen to tell him what we wanted for the photo, I completely froze up. My brain told me to say: “We want to do a squishy hug photo.” But what came out instead was something more along the lines of “hug please photo hug?” To say the least, I was blushing with embarrassment for several hours afterwards. But despite my nerves and fangirling, Jensen just smiled at me, and he gave me a little chuckle, and said: “sure thing, sweetheart”, which, of course, made me fall apart even more. Nonetheless, the photo happened, and at the end of it all, Jensen gave me one more reassuring little rub on the back, plus a second hug and a last smile before we headed off and away from the duo.

It took me hours to process the whole thing, but at the end of it all, I was so happy and relieved.

Jensen could’ve been cold. He could’ve given me a weird look for freaking out so much. He could’ve even just done the picture and gotten it over with. But he didn’t. He went the extra mile to make sure I knew that my nerves were okay, and they were understandable, but that he wasn’t judging, and he was okay with it. And that really says something.

After that, I went to a convention every year (excluding this year, for obvious reasons). I’ve been to four conventions in all, and every single year, the experience has only gotten better, because I’ve gotten more confident and comfortable around the actors--all because of that special energy.

In 2017, I was picked to sing karaoke with several of the actors from the show...on stage...in front of a huge crowd of Supernatural fans. For those of you who know me pretty well, you know that I have terrible stage fright when it comes to singing in front of people. I get super nervous, and the nerves just get higher with bigger crowds. But that night, to my surprise, I was great. Not only did I sing the classic “Wanted Dead or Alive” in front of hundreds of people, but I got to sing and dance with some of my favorite actors--and I was confident about it. When I was on that stage, dancing with the actors and singing with the fandom, I felt good.

It wasn’t until long after I was done that it hit me what had just happened, and I couldn’t believe it. All of my years of performing in theater productions and talent shows, and I had never been as confident as I had been on that karaoke night. I still have the video on my phone, and I smile at it in disbelief every time I watch it.

My confidence only grew from there. In 2018, I decided to submit to the convention’s fandom music video contest. I spent many hours and many days putting together an edit for Team Free Will 2.0. I was super particular about the timing--beats had to hit scene changes exactly right, lyrics had to line up with the scenes being shown, and I really wanted to tell a good story. When I finally finished the edit, I showed it to my dad--who’s been doing films his entire life--to get his opinion, and he was super impressed. Even though he had stopped watching the show around Season 11 (luckily, my mom was caught up at this point, so she and I were able to watch it together), he really loved what I had done with the edit. (He actually wound up loving it so much that he asked me to edit several projects for him later, including a music video, film production, and theater trailer, opening a door for me in life--one I never would’ve found without Supernatural.)

I submitted it to the Denver convention, and months later, when I was finally able to attend said convention in August of 2018, I was nervous, but excited. As my convention experience went on, I kind of forgot that I had submitted an edit, instead enjoying my time with my new Supernatural friends, the actors, and, now that she was caught up, my mom. But on the third day, they announced the winner, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t hear what name they said, but we all kind of assumed that it hadn’t been me, which was a little disappointing, but I didn’t let it get me down. But then, while I was talking to my friend, I heard the tell-tale notes of the opening of “This is Me”--the song I had used for the edit--and my head whipped to the screen faster than it ever has for anything. Sure enough, in the #1 spot, was my music video edit.

Needless to say, I kind of lost my mind. I ran up to the front to claim my certificate--including the gift certificate for $100 of Supernatural merchandise--and couldn’t stop jumping up and down. And my friends that I’d made at the convention that year were jumping right along with me. It was a beautiful moment.

By the time the 2019 Chicago convention rolled around, I had grown really comfortable with the whole cast, crew, and fandom, and 2019 was one of my best experiences yet. I submitted another video edit and got second place. I sang the Ghostbusters theme (Hillywood style, of course) with a friend at karaoke night. I even managed to ask every actor a question at their panels without stuttering, even bantering back and forth with a few of them. At autograph tables, I managed to have full-fledged conversations with some of the actors, and at my photo op with Jensen and Jared, I actually told both of them exactly what we wanted to do for the picture without stuttering over my words.

In any other fandom, I don’t think I would’ve been able to do that. But the actors and the fans make that entire convention so comfortable and easy to get through, no matter how nervous you are, and that’s one of the many things I love about this show.

Sadly, though, there was also something else that happened in 2019.

On March 22nd, 2019, Jensen, Jared, and Misha made the announcement that all Supernatural fans were hoping would never come. On Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and everything in between, Jensen Ackles said the words we’d all been fearing: “Though we’re very very excited about moving into our fifteenth season, it will be our last.”

I was in Europe when I found out--Barcelona, to be specific--and to say that the news put a damper on my vacation would be an understatement. I was in tears, and I know many of my fellow Supernatural fans were too. This show had always struggled with ratings, but it had always pushed through, hitting milestone after milestone. So when the news finally came that it would be coming to a close, after a whopping 327 episodes, it shocked us all.

But even knowing it was ending, the cast, crew, and entire fandom were quick to note that it would never be far away. While the Winchester brothers would take their final ride in (what was supposed to be) May of 2020, it didn’t mean that the fandom would die. While news spread from actors to fans to, frankly, the entire world, we all rallied together, knowing that, as Jensen put it so well, “the show might end, but what it has built, this will never end”.

So we prepared for the end. I did my ten day countdown leading up to the premiere, and as the cast counted down each of their lasts on social media, we counted down each of our lasts watching the show.

And then 2020 happened, and everything changed. COVID-19 shut everything down, including production on Supernatural, and with only two episodes left for the cast to film (plus four that still needed post-production), it looked like Supernatural wasn’t gonna be able to end after all. They aired the completed first thirteen episodes of the season, and then it went on hiatus. I think, at the time, a lot of us were worried. What if something happened? What if they weren’t able to finish? What if, after fifteen years, the show had to be cancelled because of a pandemic?

But Supernatural’s never given up, and the pandemic was no exception. For the cast and crew, this was just another obstacle in the long line of obstacles that Supernatural has made it through over the years. And in August of 2020, Jared and Jensen went back to set--along with several other actors--and finished the Winchesters’ long legacy. And on October 8th, 2020, Season 15.5 began airing on the CW, and our long goodbye to a show we’ve all loved for years started all over again.

And now here we are.

I’m sure you’re asking me why all of this matters. I just gave you a complete rundown of the Supernatural timeline from the day I started it, and I haven’t even gotten to the point. So, here’s my point.

This is what my life has been for the last nine years. I was eleven years old when I finally discovered Supernatural, and now I’m twenty, and my life has changed so much.

Supernatural has taught me things that no other elements of my life possibly could. It’s brought out parts of my personality that I never would’ve discovered otherwise.

Supernatural has made me who I am today.

Supernatural has gotten me more involved on social media, even going so far as to create my own content to share.

Supernatural has influenced other things I watch. Now, I try to find shows, movies, and even books that have some of the same themes as this show because I love them so much.

Supernatural got me connected with GISH, which helped me feel more comfortable going out of my comfort zone and being a little (okay, a lot) weird.

Supernatural made me proud to be a fangirl, giving me the chance to express my interests publicly and feel free from judgement.

Supernatural gave me some amazing new friendships, and strengthened the relationships I already had with friends and family.

Supernatural brought out my creative side. From fan fiction writing, to photo collages, to video editing, this show has given me more ways to express myself than I ever could’ve hoped, and it’s opened so many doors for me in the process.

Supernatural has taught me so many lessons and mantras that I will cherish and keep with me forever. Between never giving up, spreading love and kindness, knowing that family always has your back, and not being afraid to be who you are, the show and its cast have given me confidence and strength that I will never forget.

For those of you out there who still think that Supernatural is “just a show”, this is what I present. When I first started Supernatural, I thought the same thing. But over the years, it has become so much more to me than that, and I know that the entire fandom agrees.

With Supernatural ending, a small piece of everyone in the fandom is ending with it, but deep down, we all know that this show will always be with us, and the legacy it’s leaving behind is something that will never be forgotten.

Supernatural has been through a lot, just like it’s two main characters; but, like Sam and Dean, it has never given up, and it has saved so many people’s lives in the process.

I feel so honored to have been even a small part of such an incredible journey.

Thank you, Supernatural.

Thank you, Supernatural cast and crew.

Thank you for making your fifteen years in this world matter.

Thank you for teaching all of us what it means to be human.

Thank you for showing us that we can continue to fight for ourselves and others no matter what the world throws at us.

Thank you for making every single one of us feel special and worth something.

You have changed my life, and the lives of so many others, more than you can possibly imagine by teaching us all that we truly can “carry on”.

On September 13th, 2005, an era began.

On November 19th, 2020, that era will end.

But its legacy will last forever.

“No doubt, endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?”

#Supernatural #SPN #SPN Season 15 #the end

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t-citurnity-moved · 4 years ago

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HEY TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVES

Ohohohoho.

My thoughts are more or less about the boys, BUT I feel like I also need to provide context because this series has been such a huge part of my life.

So, therefore, let's start at the beginning.

GOD THIS GOT SO LONG AND I AM SO SORRY BUT I HAVE A LOT OF THOTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I have been part of the fanbase (not gonna say fandom, because that implies I'm active at all in the d//m//c "community" when I absolutely am not) since before 2010. That's 10+ years of enjoyment in this series. 10+ years I've been holding onto my feelings because I wasn't sure if it was right to love fictional characters. I still wrote and roleplayed with other people who were also in the fanbase, because... well, writing OC / Canon at the time was the closest anyone could get to saying "I want to date this character and not be judged." (But we all know that even then, if the OC wasn't written a specific way then they'd be considered a sue / stu; don't even get me started there.)

I fell in love with Dante first. He was the main character up until Nero starred in D//M//C4! So why wouldn't I love him? The first piece of media in which I really broke into the series was the anime and that's only because I really loved anime at the time (now not so much, mostly because I don't have attention span, etc). And boy... ohoho boy. I loved him even more. I think it's partly because that was my first real look into the series that I love D//M//C2 so much, because I'm more inclined toward the ""edgy"" side of Dante; wacky wahoo pizza man is cool and all, but I also love retrospective Dante who's a bit serious. Doesn't mean he's not the same Dante, because he absolutely is. But I hate how the fanbase portrays him sometimes. (The same fanbase that hates D//M//C2 and probably hates the reboot too, BUT I'LL TOUCH UPON THAT IN A MOMENT.)

The fact that Dante can be a serious person when he needs to be (or even if he's like... killed his brother several times and is therefore entering into a depressive state because who tf wouldn't) seems lost on a lot of people and it makes me sad. Because when I first really started branching into the fandom, I was (and still am) the same way... I just feel like 2Dante and Anime Dante are just... more relatable? So I lean toward them more than anything because I can understand them more? Because I too have depression and struggle with it? (By no means am I saying that 4/5 Dante don't have depression, I just think at that point he deals with it differently. I have a lot of headcanon there and that in and of itself is a whole ass different discussion. I also think discovering that Nero is Vergil's son / his nephew also helps him handle his depression as well, because "wow... at least I still have some part of Vergil left, even if it is only his kid" plays a bit role in how Dante recovers, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT I THINK.)

I even think 3Dante has some level of depression going on, even thouh that's the start of the series and it doesn't really start going downhill until after those events. I mean, losing his mother at a young age and also thinking he lost Vergil until, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Vergil invites him to a "bash" which is really just some ploy to gain power? I just think at that point, it's manageable for him; he doesn't struggle with it nearly as much as he does in 2 + Anime. That being said, the fact that he's so """wacky wahoo""" also leads me to conclusion that, even if it is "manageable," he does still struggle at times and I feel probably overwhelms him at times, so he tries to manage BY being upbeat about things. Which, anyone who has depression knows, is so fucking difficult to do. The fact that Dante can keep going despite all this shit going on in his life makes ME feel like I can keep going.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VERGIL AND HIS PROBLEMS. Dude just wanted to be protected and loved.

Actually, LET ME get started on that. Because I have a lot of thots.

Vergil grew up believing their mother chose Dante over him. That she didn't try to save him. That Dante was more important to her than he was. He grew up with this inferiority complex because he didn't know WHY their mother never came to save him. He also grew up thinking he wasn't strong enough to save HER. That's why he actively sought out power, while believing humans were "weak." That's why he manifested this hatred for being half-human. Because he couldn't save his family and, for a long time, he was led to believe his mother didn't care for him nearly as much as she cared for Dante (IE. "saving" Dante, but not Vergil).

Vergil's thirst for power is just misdirected feelings toward his family. He should've been mad at demons for attacking them in the first place, but because he grew up believing what he did, it became hatred toward humans instead. That's why he hated Dante, too. In reality, I don't think he really "hates" Dante, just feels severely inferior (which he veils by """having""" a superiority complex instead of the opposite, which he actually has). I think he just had a lot of conflicted emotions that he was never able to work through. Which is why I love the idea that he and Dante, post-D//M//C5 could reconcile at some point. Because neither of them really hated each other, they just had conflicting viewpoints due to one event that go thrown out of proportion somewhere along the way. Vergil just wanted what Dante had, which he perceived as the love of their mother, because she "chose" to save Dante instead of him. In reality, she tried to go after Vergil too, but simply didn't survive. Vergil was entirely unaware of this, so obviously he'd be upset. It's the crux of all his problems.

Vergil HIMSELF even theorises what would happen if they switched places that day! He wonders what would happen if he and Dante's lives were swapped! (Which, TBH, would be a pretty neat AU, heheheheh.) Legit! "If our positions were switched... would I have your life? And you mine?" DUDE WANTED TO KNOW!!! He wanted to know what it was like to BE Dante, to be LOVED, to be PROTECTED by the ONE PERSON they had in their lives at the time! They only had their mother, so OF COURSE Vergil would be upset due to the circumstances! HE JUST WANTED TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED.

3Vergil doesn't show much of this side of him, because he's just angry and going through a lot and he JUST wanted to be powerful enough that no one could hurt him any more. He would NEVER say this, but dude....... You cannot convince me this dude just wanted to be powerful to keep himself safe. To feel like he finally would've had enough power to protect the people he loves AND himself. He just didn't want to be hurt again. This is, by NO MEANS, an excuse for his actions. It's an explanation. His actions shouldn't be excused because of his ~ f e e l i n g s ~, but I firmly believe that post-D//M//C5, he could redeem himself for these actions. For everything he's done, he can realise it's wrong. He can grow to be a better person. He can reconcile with Dante and even be a good father to Nero. He can be better and I want to believe that he WOULD be better. After everything V went through, discovering that he doesn't really want to be the person he used to, Vergil can change and be better.

OOFIES. This has gone on long, BUT I STILL HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE REBOOT BOYS THAT I STRUGGLE TO PUT INTO WORDS, SO BEAR WITH ME IF THIS SEEMS STUPID OR GARBLED.

Context for the reboot: It's basically a remake of the series that got poor reception because people struggle to accept change. :) I will not debate this and anyone who wants to come at me can eat my socks.

Dante 2.0, like original Dante, HAS PROBLEMS. He's an edgy punk bitch who has problems and he's so ugly I love him.

This dude went his entire life struggling with his identity as someone "human." At one point, he was so convinced he didn't have a heart that he ripped open his own chest to see if he did. Yeah. Dude has issues. But it's ok, because in game, he legitimately sets aside his own issues with people to save humanity. Dude's got such BDE.

People hate him, but I feel like they fail to realise what the hell he's been through. He's been through just as much shit as original Dante. Same goes for Vergil 2.0. These boys have been through SO MUCH, but people don't see that because "Nooo!! You can't just remake the series!!!" Meanwhile I'm like "hehe handsome nephilim boys go brrr."

I literally cannot begin to explain the amount of hate people have for the reboot and it makes me sad, because... like.... y'all.... don't realise... these dudes... went through so much shit..... and yeah... I get it... remake bad, original good, but dude.... my dude.... my bro.... you do not have to hate it that much.... calm down, it's just a video game....

My dude Dante grew up in the system because the foster homes and shit he got placed in were run by demons!!! So he'd lash out at them!!! He was violent because demons suck!! They killed his mom and enslaved his dad!!! Imagine!!! Being surprised by that!!! When you know what he went through!!! Damn, couldn't be me!!!

Vergil went through some shit too!!! Like!!! Yeah, he was adopted into a rich family and lived a pretty cushy life, but fact of the matter is!!! Their parents died and they had their memories WIPED when they were kids!!! Imagine!!! The distraught!!! When he (since he found out who he was long before Dante did) realised what had happened!!! When he remembered!! When he discovered he wasn't human!! My dude founded a whole ass group of demon hunting hactivists because he knew demons sucked and wanted to make the world a better place. It wasn't until after Mundus (big stinky demon man) died that he started realising how frail humans could be and decided to be an asshole about it.

I'm so sad that there will never be any more about the reboot, because fans decided to be assholes about it. I'm so sad that we'll never learn more about what happened to those boys. I'm so sad that we'll never be able to see whether they reconcile or even have the opportunity to.

Alas, I have to rely on heavy headcanon and personal re-write of the story to fix canon instead. :<

#dlselfships #c.txt #WHAT DO I TAG THIS AS????#ANALYSIS???#ITS NOT SHIP BS SO CANT USE THAT TAG BUT UHHHHH #analysis bs #ok sure good enough #LONG POST #IM SERIOUS THIS POST IS SO LONG AND I AM SO SORRY #I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THEM #dan.te #ver.gil #dante 2.0 #vergil 2.0 #AAAAAAAAAA NO ONE HAS TO READ ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HONESTLY ITS JUST SOME STUPID THOTS I HAVE AND THEY KINDA SUCK???#also you can tell im SOOOOOO BIASED when the reboot stuff comes in #oofies i loved the reboot and as soon as i saw the first trailer i was like!!! hehe hot man go brrr #even tho i KNEW people would hate it #but hey here i am.... still loving my reboot boys....

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lucispietate · 5 years ago

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Dear Hurt/Comfort Exchange writer

Hello, fellow writer! First of all, I really want to thank you in advance for taking up the challenge to make something for me, I appreciate it so much. I really enjoy being surprised (especially with pairings where Canon leaves a lot to the imagination and everyone has their own headcanon) so you're absolutely free to write anything you wish and mostly take this letter as suggestions if you need inspiration.

I don't have much to say for likes, I have some fandom specific ones but overall I'm fine with anything. I tend to love heavy introspection, conflicted relationships and angst with an happy ending/bittersweet tone, but I'm really fine with anything. I also want to point out that you're free to combine my tags/prompts however you wish and that while I didn't bother to include "both hurt" for any of these ships, it's absolutely always allowed. As for dislikes: - any kind of dub con and on page rape unless otherwise specified. I can accept harassment and such, but not too graphic - AUs, especially fluffy modern AUs and supernatural ones (Canon divergence within the original universe is fine and encouraged) My only real exception is Romeo and Juliet where I do enjoy modern AUs as long as they still keep the violence/hate/gang war element of the play - sex described in any detail. I'm not bothered by it and I don't mind allusions, jokes or fade to black, but the scenes itself hold no interest for me - cheating (jealousy is fine and so is crushing on more than one person at once with all the guilt it entails, as long as it leads to poly, healthy or not, or stays a frustrated wish) - unrequited love that doesn't get resolved either by the two getting together or the pining person finding their true love - eating disorders or tbh even dwelling on appearance related insecurity is a no no

GOTHAM

I want to preface I'm a DC newbie, so I can't really appreciate crossovers or influence from other media and I wouldn't want futurefic, especially not involving BatCat, I just want to see them as kids For BatCat I would prefer something set between season 1 and the first few episodes of season 3, before they start their weird on/off relationship. The one exception would be the killing for the first time prompt, in relation to what Bruce does in the beginning of season 4, and that horrible plot line with Selina's mom since it's such an ansgt/hurt comfort goldmine . I think canon offers a lot of possibilities with them already, they do a lot of rescuing each other and I'd like anything that is cute and sweet. Something from their time living on the street together would be adorable too.

For Selina/Bridgit I would be happy with anything: a cute moment of them living on the streets as kids, Selina helping Bridgit to work through Dr Strange's conditioning, or something angstier while Bridgit still thinks she's a goddess and Selina her servant and Selina trying to show how much affection as she can while in that framework and things that blur the lines between comfort and act of service/worshipping like washing, taking of care of poor little Bridgit's burns etc.

For Oswald/Ed... Wow, there's so much potential. Any moment from their first meeting, a What If where Oswald regrets his deeds and decides to thaw Ed himself and then nurse him back to health, the two of them adopting Martin... Anything really, I haven't read much on these two

GAME OF THRONES

What I want with Yara/Dany is mostly something to give me joy after that godawful ending. So I would love something set post ending, with Dany being exiled/imprisoned, in a terrible mental state and only Yara who's still loyal/taking care of her. Though also Yara coming to terms with her last brother's death would be something wonderful

SIX OF CROWS

No particular ideas here. Any moment pre—book with them getting hurt in missions, Inej's first kill, the tattoo removal, or something like what happened in the prisoner cart, with Kaz having a serious breakdown and Inej being the only one to notice and try to comfort him, knowing most of her instinctive reactions would make everything worse because of his issues

INHERITANCE CYCLE

Murtagh and Nasuada are my childhood otp and I would honestly squeal to get anything at all about them would make me giggly. I like the idea of an AU where Murtagh is rescued early with baby Thorn in a tow before Galbatorix can completely break them with the torture, or something more emotional/psychological post saga, where they must help each other heal from their Shared Trauma and mental issues they both seem to have in the last few chapters. If and only IF you feel like it, this is the one fandom where I am ok with sexual abuse as a past event as I used to occasionally write Galbatorix as having had a relationship with Morzan in their former days and viewing Murtagh as a replacement in more than one sense.

ROMEO AND JULIET This is somewhat complex. First of all I want to say I made somewhat of a mistake in nominations phase by nominating some d ships as All media types while others nominated some as Shakespeare, but I'm absolutely ok with fic based on Shakespeare or any production of Presgurvic's musical. Exceptions are the 2010 revival and ensuing tour and Takarazuka productions. Also while I said I am okay with AUs here, I'd prefer they not be based on the 1996 movie in aesthetic/characterization, though the stakes/situation of the feud is a good example of what I imagine for modern au. Now going specifically about each of my prompts:

For the Romeo/Juliet ones I mostly want emotional hurt/comfort, either set during their wedding night or in a AU where they manage to leave together. It always bothered me that it's assumed they just went straight to fucking on their wedding night: I love the idea that they, well, somewhat fought over the Tybalt issue, snuggled, comforted each other for their losses and imminent separation and Romeo's obviously very traumatizing murder experience, maybe got to know each other a bit more and shared about their insecurities, their clearly a lot to unpack family baggage... There's lot of potential here. I am very attached to the play, so I do like to believe in them being soulmates/true love rather than a random fling, silly as that is, so I'd like the tone of the whole thing to be according, and I am pretty attached to the canon ages too (almost 14 as per canon for Juliet and please not too much older Romeo) so ofc the no sexual stuff beyond the vaguest throwaway mention rule holds especially true here.

Regarding the Montague boys anything tied to the pretty self explanatory prompts is perfectly fine, either set in the present or as a cute childhood flashback. I would definitely appreciate some kind of AU where they all live but are badly hurt or mentally scarred in the course of the events Now, for the various combinations of Benvolio/Mercutio/Tybalt... again, plenty of self explanatory tags. I think these three characters and which tags would best fit which of them are very dependent on personal headcanons and I don't want to limit that at all, especially for individual relationships as opposed to the ot3. I'm definitely very interested in exploring the dynamics of their love triangle and possible polyamory and the obvious hurtful effects it has, (I generally see Mercutio as the center with Benvolio and Tybalt somewhat disliking each other at the beginning, though that can absolutely change, later! ) jealousy, feeling of inferiority by each of the boys, guilt, abandonment issues, the like. My first instinct is to imagine Bencutio as together and Tycutio as bitter exes who may or may not go for another round at any moment, but the reverse or any other combination of Drama is fine too. I also love scenarios, for either individual ships or ot3, that explore the effect of the feud on their lives: someone having to be nursed back to health after a duel gone too far, someone being traumatized by their first serious act of violence, the unrealistic expectations/responsibility/toxic masculinity Tybalt and Benvolio are loaded by their families and so on. An AU where Mercutio survives the duel but is very badly hurt and Tybalt is guilt stricken by his own deed and starts to realize his feelings for him as he helps take care of him would be lovely.

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eye-of-enigmatic-thought · 5 years ago

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2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’.

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are...

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way... 2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together!

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

#tara's text

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eswel · 5 years ago

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Top moments of the 2010s in my fandoms

This decade was very important to me when it comes to fandom. I finally embraced my inner nerd. That’s why I want to remember the best moments I experienced in relation to my fandoms. I will start with my main one doing a top 5, the others will be a top 3.

Digimon:

1) Meeting Ayumi Miyazaki and Ai Maeda: I never thought it would happen. Some anime convention producers brought them to my country. I feel so blessed I had that opportunity. They were transcendental for my childhood. Also, they’re very nice people. I had such a blast in their shows, I hadn’t enjoyed myself in a concert since I was a teenager.

2) X digimon revival: I love the X digimon, although the old designs weren’t very good. So I was very happy Bandai decided to pick them up again and stepped up their game, because the new designs are gorgeous.

3) The series come back to local TV: We were all happy in my country when we heard the news, because it hadn’t aired in like 10 years and we asked for it during a lot of time. People commented and a sense of community was developed. We roleplayed the characters, it was a lot of fun.

4) Appmon: I fell in love with this series. It was the first one since Tamers that I watched in its enterity while it was airing. I enjoyed following it every week. It has its faults, but it has a very special place in my heart and I think it has the most charismatic characters since Adventure.

5) Hunters’ crossover: I wasn’t following the series back then, although I was aware that Xros Wars existed. When I heard that all the leaders from previous seasons would show up I was super excited, so I decided to watch that episode live. My surprise was even greater when I saw that almost all the other characters were also in it. I remember those 3 minutes were so intense that I got a headache later out of pure excitment.

Animation:

1) Live action adaptations: While others don’t like them, I love them. I find very interesting the twists that they put to their stories and characters’ development. Although I feel that lately they are staying too close to the original movies instead of taking risks.

2) TV series: I was surprised when I heard about the Tangled series and The Lion Guard. It feels like a revival of the 90s, when the movies had series, too. The Revival era really mirrored the Renaissance era, uh? On the other hand, Dreamworks developed in this market with its fair share of shows. I was even more surprised when I heard they would bring Spirit back. Who would have thought.

3) The Big Four: It was such an interesting and fun crossover. Two from 2010, two from 2012. Two from Disney, two from Dreamworks. I think it was very creative.

Star Wars:

1) Rogue One: I believe it’s unanimously considered the best movie of the franchise this decade, right? It was such an intense story, I remember seeing the destruction of a planet being inside of the planet gave me chills and the final scene with Vader, too.

2) Diversity: It was very nice seeing a wider range of actors joining the franchise, from asians to latinos. Personally, I feel super proud of Oscarito, Dieguito and Pedrito (especially him, since he’s from my country).

3) Seeing Pablo Hidalgo: I always saw convention’s panels on videos and it seemed something so big and epic. In 2017 I had the chance of attending a panel for the first time when the Comic Con of my country brought “Mr. Canon”. He revealed some things about The Last Jedi. I was happy, because 5 years earlier I missed Lando’s actor when he came to the same event.

Dragon Ball:

1) Episode 131 screening: I believe this hasn’t any precedent and didn’t happen anywhere else in the world. It’s incredible the impact that this series has in Latin America. People went to bars and public plazas. Some of these events had even the support of the local authorities. I went to the one they made in my city. It was kinda embarrasing, because of the technical problems they had, but in the end we still could watch and share with other people.

2) Battle of Gods: Latin America was one of the first places outside of Japan that got to see this movie. It had a phenomenal reception and I believe it influenced the way the franchise developed afterwards. It was a lot of fun watching the films on the big screen, because generally people don’t express themselves that much during movies. There’s like this unspoken rule that you have to avoid bothering other people, but during these they just let themselves out: they laughed, they yelled, they clapped. We shared the experience collectively.

3) Universe Survival arc: I was tired of the series by the time that the Trunks arc ended that I almost considered dropping it, but I’m glad I didn’t. I think the last arc was the best and it revitalized my interest. They gave time for the other characters to develop, instead of focusing only on the main ones and the new characters were also very interesting and diverse.

Sailor Moon:

1) The series comes back to local TV: After Naoko released the broadcast rights, my country was one of the first to air the series again after Italy and Israel, I believe. I found out of sheer luck halfway through the first season and it was THE series that pushed me to start watching anime regularly again.

2) Sera New: In addition to the series, the musicals came back, too. I never really watched any of them. I want to, but there’s too many of them that I wouldn’t know where to start. So it was a nice opportunity when the last one premiered on cinemas around the world. I had to go to the city next to mine to watch it, though, because my local teather didn’t release it.

3) Revival: This could apply to several anime series through this decade, but I find this one noteworthy, because the 20th anniversary is the first event of that kind I remember (others would follow). I predicted that a new anime would be announced. Afterwards came a wave of merchandise, which I find interesting, because it included practical products catered specifically to the female audience that grew up with the series who are now adult women.

Harry Potter:

1) Seeing Matt Lewis, Chris Rankin and Stanislav Ianevski: In 2010, Warner sent the actors on press tours around the world to promote Deathly Hallows. It was the first time someone from the movies came to South America. I went to the cinema and waited outside to see Matt. Some fans tried to convince the guards to let us in haha. Sadly I couldn’t get an autograph, but I took photos of him. Later in 2018 Chris and Stanislav were invited to a convention (originally the guests were Katie Leung and other actress that I can’t remember right now).

2) Final movie premiere: It was one of the few movie premiere’s livestream I have ever followed. There was a lot of fans from everywhere around the world. It was very emotional seeing everyone together and united. And it got gradually even more emotional seeing every actor for the last time. By the time of the speech I was crying.

3) New editions: When I was growing up, the books had just one cover in each country. But during this decade they released new versions dedicated to the 15th and 20th anniversary, plus the illustrated ones. There’s so many covers now that I get lost, but it feels nice knowing it’s following the path of the classics that get new covers from time to time.

#personal random ideas

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elysiumwaits · 5 years ago

Note

Hey! For the autumnal asks, frost, amber and fog, please. Thanks.😊

Hey! Thanks so much, this ask game is so cute.

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

Don’t wait that long to talk to a psychiatrist.Tell your mom when it starts. Don’t go through four years of it.Listen, it’s dark now, but you’re gonna meet someone amazing and she’s going to change your life, and it’s going to be worth it, I promise.Don’t be such a music snob, kid. You could have loved 1D from 2010!

You take those safety pins off that shirt right now!

Sometimes, a firm fist to the nose does more than talking at some asshole who’s picking on someone that can’t stand up for themselves, and your record will be fine.Please, for the love of god, don’t drink that much Mountain Dew. There are lasting consequences to 6+ cans a day.Also, brush your teeth.You’re going to survive past 21, and you should plan accordingly.

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

Oh, gee, just one?

Purity culture is ridiculous is my big one. I don’t believe in “unproblematic” media. It lends itself to a harmful black-and-white way of thinking and doesn’t allow anyone to think critically about what they consume. It’s the idea that what you watch/read as an adult in fandom and media can lead to you basically breaking down as a decent human being.

So, like, media - let’s look at something like Gone With the Wind. Produced as a movie in 1939, and there are very obvious issues with racism and sexism (particularly marital consent). Now, you show that movie to a ten-year-old, you may need to explain that things were different then, we don’t use some of these words now because we’ve learned how harmful they are... maybe, if they’re ten, don’t get into the whole idea of the bodice-ripper thing, but the point stands. As an adult I have the critical thinking ability to recognize those issues and consume the media anyway without devolving into some racist, sexist Reconstruction relic.

Lolita is another one. It’s supposed to be disturbing. You’re supposed to be viewing things through the eyes of the predator, because it’s supposed to alarm you and draw attention to the issue and how those minds work. You’re supposed to walk away and think about it, it’s supposed to make you feel something.

Fandom purity culture is frustrating because everyone I know who writes “problematic” things - me included - is often doing so as a catharsis, or even just to explore something that they wouldn’t in real life. Like, I write murder and non-con. I’m not actually about to do those things in real life, but that’s the beauty of fiction, is that it’s not real life.

Also, it really heavily plays into the Slippery Slope fallacy and that ticks me off.

Sorry, I have strong feelings about this.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

Theoretically, I wouldn’t do too badly if I had access to some kind of community or the ability to get to one in a timely manner.

Problems: arthritis and epilepsy are the main physical issues. So I wouldn’t be able to walk long distances or do any intense physical things on a regular basis. The epilepsy would mean I would at least have to have my basic needs met and ideally another person to watch my back and take care of me if I seize. This is all assuming I don’t have access to medication.

However, I am a very good shot, especially with a handgun or a youth rifle - not so much with bigger guns. I’m also scrappy, but I’d rather not get close enough to a zombie to have to hit it. I have a lot of halfway-decent skills that would make me valuable in a community-type setting - gardening, mechanical knowledge, cooking, textile/fabric work, childcare experience, scattered knowledge about first aid and medication, and trauma support.

My not-so-obvious valuable assets include a pretty ambiguously gray morality (in that I wouldn’t lose a lot of sleep over ‘doing what you have to do’ in terms of human attackers to make sure I and my loved ones survived unscathed), quite a few trauma and stress coping mechanisms, an ability to learn very quickly, a cool head under pressure (though I do lose my shit later on), a natural ability to manipulate, some silver-tongue and diplomacy skills, and a very high pain tolerance.

When you’re like me, in that you can’t really do wilderness survival and you can’t survive for long on your own, the trick is to find a group and make yourself valuable. It’s like when you work at a job and you learn to do things no one else can do, so they can’t fire you.

I’ve thought about this a lot, actually! Lol.

#ely answers #novemberhush

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eb-byestelle · 6 years ago

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Ship game

Tagged by @fuzzykiddreamer (Thank you 💖 !!)

Shipping and Fandom Ask

Embrace your inner shipper! Answer questions about your favorite ships or fandoms. Reblog to participate and let your ship flag fly!

1.What are your top 10 manga/anime ships of all time?

Top 10 anime/manga:

Yuuki x Kaname - Vampire Knight

Victor x Yuri – Yuri !!! on ice

Mirai x Akihito - Kyoukai no Kanata

Izumi x Ryouma - Love Stage!!

Shiomi x Orina - Psychic Academy (very unpopular but really sweet ship ;3)

Emeraude x Zagato - Magic Knight Rayearth

Okabe x Kurisu - Steins;Gate

Edgar x Lydia - Hakushaku to Yousei

Yori x Iku - Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru

Valentino x Ranmaru - Ikoku Irokoi Romantan

I’m not very “shipper type”, but from anime/manga I guess these ten ships are sth I will always remember 💕 💖 💕 💖

2.What gif or screenshot most sums up your ship?

Yume

https://www.deviantart.com/jams-yy/art/Kaname-X-Yuuki-295424796

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/vampire-knight/images/34332617/title/vampire-knight-fanart

(I add the links because for some reasons these gifs make that post is not able to be saved)

3. Describe your favorite ship in seven words or less.

Yume - Passionate, complicated, eternal love, above everything.

Victuuri - Harmonious, colorful, eros, agape, perfect duo,

Mirai x Akihito - Sacrifice, understanding, monsters in love.

Izumi x Ryouma - I love each part of you.

Shiomi x Orina - Innocent, lust, slow exploration.

Emeraude x Zagato - Protect your freedom - everything else can die.

Okabe x Makise - Time and space don’t matter.

Edgar x Lydia - Secrets, courtship, caramel hair.

Yori x Iku - Pure love, dirty love, love forever.

Valentino x Ranmaru - Opposites attract.

When I think which details connect all these ships, I’m gonna say: Romantic, unconventional, imperishable, full of mutual love and acceptation.

4.What’s your go-to episode or scene when you need ship feels?

Generally In this kind of situation I want to watch some moments when the love between couple is the most visible, usually when between the couple there is some intensive moment full of love.

Yume:

From manga VK: the whole vol 19 (including the cover 💖) - My heart melts when I look at each chapter T_T 💖

From anime VK: VKG - ep 2, 8 (I’ve always been in love with my own brother ;3) and 13 (this last scene T_T 💖 ..........)

Victuuri: the whole ep 10 - I.LOVE.WHOLE.THIS.EP !

Mirai x Akihito ; Shiomi x Orina ; Okabe x Kurisu: first kiss scenes (there is sth really moving in first kiss scenes ;3)

Izumi x Ryouma ; Yori x Iku: first time (both are just amazing...)

Lydia x Edgar:

Ep 1 and some peculiary scene in ep 9 (bishounen + whiskey Jack Daniels + loved one = have fun! 💀🔥)

Emeraude x Zagato:

Two last eps of season 1 (romantic and horribly tragic at the same time...)

5.What song or songs remind you of your favorite fandom, character or ship?

Seal - Kiss from the rose 💕

It was a song when, while listening to it I read VK for the first time in 2010. In that moment I read first volume and I said: “Wow - This is great!” Later, after many years, after deeper listening, It turned out that the words of this song perfectly suit to the yume ship. From then on, I associate this song with both the first time when I was charmed by this series and with yume pair.

6. If the creators of your favorite fandom asked you to write the ship canon-confirmation episode, what will you write/how will it happen?

VK / Yume: A lot of things have already been said and done. However, I would doubtless make Yuuki and Kaname be together again (in the normal sense, not like now xp) and that Yuuki would say straight what we see while the whole series, but what hasn't been said directly - that Kaname is the love of her life and that she have never loved anyone so much as she loves Kaname. Such an expressions of feelings and the connection of these two after all these things they have survived (like in the case of Okabe x Kurisu or Mirai x Akihito) would be just a wonderful last chapter. In the case of anime series, I admit that I like the ending. And as for the continuation, we both know well how I would do it ^^

7.Do you prefer to indulge in (consume or create) fanart or fanfic of your favorite ship?

I prefer to indulge in create fanarts and fanfic but usually not related to my favorite ships.

8.Smut or fluff? (VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION xD)

I like both eqally ;3 Or remix 👀!!

9.What ship are you embarrassed to admit you like?

I guess none.

10.What task are you most likely to procrastinate so you can indulge in your ship or fandom?

Sometimes I’m able to not sleep all night because to the morning I’m talking with fans of sth I love, I’m watching my favorite serieses or watching/reading sth depends on it, don’t mentioning about when I’m writing sth by my own. Then the time doesn’t matter 💀 then anything doesn’t matter. It remind sth like a state of trance. - I recommend! 🔥🔥🔥

11.How many hours of the day do you spend reading fanfic or looking at fanart or other media?

In case of fanfics and fanarts, none. I choose to look for some nice edits or news about real series. I can spend from few minutes to few hours, but not everyday, only sometimes.

12.How many memorabilia’s do you own of your favorite fandom or ship (clothes, plushies, etc.)?

VK: The uniform of night class which I was sewing every day for two weeks so it’s really important to me 💖 I also have all 19 volumes, all DVDs, postcards, posters and badges. I will have soon also a fanbook ^^

Death Note: postcards, posters, badges and ofc. death note ;33

I have also a lot of some little details from various another serieses like all volumes of Love Stage. But mostly I focus on VK.

13.If you could own one authentic item from your favorite fandom world, what would it be?

All dragon balls xD or at least Goku’s four-star ball 💖

And the Kaname’s bed - with Kaname in the set! 🥂💕🔥

14.What fandom have you found to be too toxic to deal with?

Since I have been on Tumblr, I got involved in only one fandom, so tbh, I can't answer it, because I have no comparison with another fandoms. I also don't have an intend to get too involved in other fandoms, at most superficially.

Nevertheless, withouth doubt the continuous ships-war is tiring and ridiculous. I've always wondered, why among zekis the some of them are still such stubborn, that they can't just get over it and admit that Yuuki's first choice was always Kaname, and Zero on the end turned out to be only the "consolation prize". This is a sad truth, but these are the facts. I think that the only way to real, honest coexistence is to accept this truth on the both sides. Just like when yume accepted that zeki is also a canon and Zero to a degree was also loved by Yuuki in a romantic way, though by not as strong love as Kaname.

It's all simple and transparent, it's enough to notice it.

The answer: "She loves both equally." is no solution ... "She loves one the most." - this is the only acceptable solution in every LT. Even in Arabic harems there is a division on the "first wife" and "next wives". So it's a natural state of things - one the biggest choise. I think that this is the point of attachment and the right, healthy way to resolve this conflict.

It's interesting that when the VK manga was still published, among my native fandom there was also a clear division between yume and zeki. There was no hatred in this. It was just something like a gulf. Then I saw the same for MAL and here. It inspired me to create a theory that this division is not only a division into ships, but also a division based on a systems of views. And in such a situation it's quite difficult to blur the boundaries... That's why I think that determining ONE plot is the most reasonable way. Later we can at most see, how much my theory works in practice, and in how many cases it's jusr an ordinary, superficial choice of a "more cool ship in someone's taste".

15.Do you have or would you consider getting a tattoo depicting your favorite ship or fandom?

I don't think so I would ever have a tattoo, but I for sure wouldn't walk past indifferently next to earrings or necklace with the symbol of Cross Academy ;3 - I love this symbol, it's so beautiful !!

16.What is the strangest thing you’ve done to honor your favorite fandom, ship or character?

It’s hard tbh... One time I created with my friend some dumb “event” which looked like “A night with Kaname” xD She prefered Kain, but she also liked Kaname so it was no problem to do it with her. All night we created a funny or pervert memes, edits, posts, games, and we came up with that we would print the posters of our fave. As a result we didn’t do it but... when I think about it right now, this wish is still “alive” xD ...

It was also one night, when I wrote some poem about sth like “how it would be, if I would kiss someone like Kaname”. I mean, although I know he’s not real, it can’t be denied that It’s sth really pleasant to imagine that in our world there might exist someone such amazing like Kaname. This poem was sth like a vision of kiss with the potential, “real” Kaname. It’s a bit embarrasing, when I think about it because this erotic was incredibly personal and intimate, showing not just a kiss but some feelings accompanying to kiss the real love. So yeah, it was very personal and some kind of mix my deep symphaty and love to Kaname character + the description of my feelings while a real passionate kiss with someone, when my knees are bending, face is burning etc + the showing an experience of romantic moment with someone I love. So it was about Kaname and not about Kaname, sth between in other words xD

I also love to say about VK and Kaname in some serious discussion on studies. I think it’s nothing weird or embarassing to mentioned about some aspects from mangas on such an discussions. I think this manga are not just vampire and dumb LT thread but there is sth really deep and interesting, forcing as to think and reflect about what is love, sin, desire, death, will of life, etc... I love this in VK.

I’m tagging @eternalyumelove, @astharoshebarvon, @aphrodytevalentine

I know you guys love ships so have fun ! ;3 (If u want ;3)

#Tag Game #E.B. - by Estelle #Personal #VERY personal ;3 #Top 10 best couples

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abumblebeeat221b · 7 years ago

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Sherlock and the Female Gaze

If anyone asked me to point them to the most revolutionary piece of media ever created I’d probably show them Doctor Who (because guys - nothing beats a show that is basically Sherlock Holmes in space and keeps reinventing itself every other year).

But the second thing would be Sherlock. Not Doyle’s original, not the Rathbone, Granada, Soviet, new Russian adaptations (even though they are dear to me). Just 13 episodes of a TV show that was only ever meant to win some obscure film award in Eastern Europe and became a success over night instead.

The fandom that does its research has spent seven years trying to pinpoint its secret and the only thing we can agree on are three little words: it looks pretty.

On a more serious note: it is probably the first thing which made male eye-candy unashamedly mainstream. It is the millennial version of Pride and Prejudice, of Mr. Darcy, only that this time society doesn’t expect the story to bore our boyfriends to death.

And I’m not even sure that was something Mofftiss and Co were aiming for.

You see. It is a truth universally acknowledged that men have no idea what women like. They confuse it with male power fantasies ALL THE TIME because that’s what the media tells them we are day dreaming about. They are shocked to learn that we think Loki to be the sexually most appealing hero villain in the Avangers, that we consider Rodger from the original 101 Dalmatians to be perfect boyfriend material, that yes, we’d happily choose a dog loving, kind individual (with great hair) over most more manly super heroes out there.

And Sherlock ticks all the right boxes for women to find him attractive, while most guys wouldn’t think that lanky nerd to be much of a competition for them.

The cherry on our metaphorical fandom-cake is that Sherlock is pretty much the first thing produced for a main stream audience I know of* which treats its leading male character as if he was a woman in order to cater to the female gaze (because the lgbqt+ community was not the only reason why the name Cumberbatch has showed up on most versions of the sexiest men alive lists since 2010/11).

Women look at Sherlock and think ‘sexy’ because we’ve been conditioned by the media to recognise this is what ‘sexy’ looks like.

And this my friends is where the magic happens.

You want the list? Here have the list:

A well-tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men. And let me tell you Sherlock wearing suits doesn’t look like a coincidence from over here.

The coat. It’s like a cape. Only way cooler.

The buttons which deserve their own award™. We all know the story behind the coat™, but I’m not aware of the official one explaining why Sherlock couldn’t buy the purple shirt of sex™ in a bigger size (lucky us he didn’t). On a sidenote: too small dress sizes and strained buttons are exactly what actresses are expected to wear in front of the camera.

The white sheet of possibilities. Sherlock Holmes visits Buckingham palace wearing nothing but a sheet BECAUSE THE SCRIPT SAYS SO and I can’t be the only one feeling reminded of the long standing tradition of women having to take off their clothes for very important plot reasons™. Two series later, Moffat does it again, and while IMHO Sherlock should have kept his hospital gown on in His Last Vow, I’m aware that is a pretty problematic™ thing to say given how it belongs to the most beloved (i.e. gifed and photoshopped) bits of that episode. (While at the same time, apart from Irene Adler, we have no idea what the Sherlock ladies wear underneath).

The cheekbones. Oh. The. Cheekbones. It is shocking exactly no one that Carrie Fisher was asked to lose weight every time she played Princess Leia (yes, also that one). Benedict Cumberbatch lost weight for series 2, then went to play the villain in Star Trek: Into Darkness, came back to series 3 having to lose those muscles and some weight - which goes against the *typical* male beauty standards in the industry, just saying. (NB: I’m pretty sure he did it again for TAB and series 4, but series 2 and series 3 are the only instances I’m aware of him mentioning it).

The weapons of a woman. When was the last time the male hero was allowed to lose? James Bond gets the girl because he is the best agent out there. It’s always the best knight who slays the dragon and saves the princess. I agree today personality matters - but that just means that now he needs to slay the dragon AND be charismatic on the top of it.

Heroes aren’t damsels in distress, they don’t get favours because of their looks and smiles, they don’t rely on other people or need emotional support. They are lone wolves, strong and self-efficient in every possible sense of the word and they have more than just their muscles to show for it.

Not in Sherlock.

Odds (*literally odds*) are Sherlock wouldn’t have survived the first episode without John.

Here we have someone who manipulates Molly (and clients alike) using his charm to get what he wants. Sherlock relies on his social network all the time, his adventures are about showing us how being the Cleverest™, the Best™ does not equal success.

He gets saved, beaten and drugged by Irene Adler, and just in case we’d still have some illusions left, the script for that scene describes the leading male character with the words ‘weak as a kitten’. I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

In the same episode he wins a fight because of pepper spray.

He relies on his brother’s help to beat Moriarty. He shoots Magnussen because even Mycroft’s long arm doesn’t end up being long enough. The only reason he makes it out of that mess alive is his freaking sister he isn’t even aware of.

The point is. Sherlock is right when he points out the obvious: he is no hero, but a mess who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high. Yes, he is phenomenally good at what he does. But he also needs an assistant, someone who takes some part of the responsibilities off his not-so-bulky shoulders and helps him to win those victories.

The fairytale of the high-functioning sociopath. For some baffling reason, sometime between now and the dark middle ages humankind decided that European culture only ever allows men to seek companionship when somehow sex (or bragging about sex) is involved.

This is why “being friendzoned” is the worst that can happen to the modern man™. This is why they honestly don’t get the concept of just friends™. To a good deal of them female friends are like unicorns in that they don’t exist. To them the age old “if I’m not getting sex out of it then why should I bother?” argument works on both sides: “if you are not getting sex out of it then why should you care?”.

(Before you spam my inbox yes, I know Scrubs exists, I’m more than just familiar with House MD *laughs uncomfortably for ten years*. But. For every single piece of media that happens to get it right there are 10 AU remakes of Fifty Shades of Grey being published).

Now. What on Earth does this have to do with Sherlock?

NOTHING. We see Sherlock having more healthy relationships in every single episode (yes even that one) than Bond will have in a lifetime. And no matter how much Sherlock insists on being a sociopath, the hero in this story has friends, imperfect friends, and whether he likes it or not they do care about him. And he cares about them too.

Otherwise Mycroft wouldn’t need to tell his little brother that caring is not an advantage and Sherlock wouldn’t meet those words like an old friend.

On top of it, the writers never code Sherlock and John as gay. No, they don’t. To be fair, they also don’t say he’s straight. However, they do make him canonically fall for Irene Adler (FYI: if him going ALL THE WAY to Karachi for her sake wasn’t a big enough clue, then MP!Sherlock keeping a picture of her in his pocket watch should have been).

And while we do see Sherlock invested in plenty of typical male stuff (he fights, he wins, he plays the rude smart arse, the hero, the brilliant detective) at the same time he also accepts it when in TEH John decides he wants to keep his distance, and Sherlock leaves the matter in Mary’s capable hands, John’s love interest, the woman who should be traditionally the mortal enemy of male friendships.

We had a whole episode which was basically Sherlock helping Mary with wedding preparations and not (just) having a bad time.

The next episode has him do his best to save his friends’ marriage. It also has him fake a relationship with a woman (who ends up owning a cottage in Sussex that comes with bees). But he never takes advantage of her even though she wouldn’t mind being taken advantage of. And when she gets her well deserved revenge he admires her for her agency. That boy is so smitten by Janine Hawkins that the original shooting script for His Last Vow had them agreeing to marry each other should they end up without anyone else by the time they are old end grey (page 72, you’re welcome).

Sherlock gets his support system and it doesn’t ask for anything in return. He is allowed to struggle, to become emotional, to not deserve his victories and still be the hero of the show. Those 13 episodes have Sherlock stumble from one failure to the next but every single time we learn it doesn’t matter. He gets to learn from his mistakes, he gets to grow.

Yes, he has his ghosts and demons but he never needs to face them on his own, which is something I’ve only ever seen on this stupid show

_____ * If anyone wants to point out the masterpiece that’s George from the Jungle then yes, I’m aware of it (also, surprise surprise another film that was pretty popular with the LGBTQ+ folks). However, generally speaking it never became mainstream. Which is what I’m talking about here. And while Marvel’s Loki is mainstream, he is not the main character in The Avengers.

#Sherlock #Sherlock BBC #BBC Sherlock #Benedict Cumberbatch #Steven Moffat #Mark Gatiss #long post #now excuse me as I look for the alternative universe where Martin Freeman got to play Sherlock and Benedict Cumberbatch became his Watson

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boglog · 7 years ago

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Wholesome Questionare Tag Meme

Tagged by @80sglamcowboy Rules are: -Post the rules -Answer the questions given to you by the tagger -Write eleven questions of your own -Tag eleven people

This is long as Hell, friends and I apologise.

One inquisitive bitch has asked me:

1. Name one person (real or fictional) that you think you could 100% take on in a fight

Foaming mouth guy from Avatar. He’s got no stamina, barely any health, no skill. He’s unfocused and weak and my noodley nerd-ass could take him. (Though I am a little concerned he has rabies.)

2. What’s your favourite snack rn

Grilled cheese w veggies, mustard, and grilled tofu w a side of ketchup made by my roommate. It’s honestly the purest thing.

3. Which apocalypse do you think you’d do the best in? (i.e. Nuclear winter/ robot uprising/ Too many vampires, etc)

O man. I love apocalypse movies and I love survival horror (that one episode of the X Files where they’re trapped in a cabin, anybody?). I also genuinely love camping and I’m a bit of a medical hobbyist. I also watched an unreasonable amount of prepper videos on YouTube. That said, as mentioned above, I am a couch potato weekling. Furthermore, I don’t do well in conflict so if the world hierarchy collapses into a power vacuum where you have to Orange is the New Black-style intimidate ppl for supplies, I would melt and die quickly.

My best bet, it would seem, is an Arrival-esque alien apocalypse where the ones who have enough patience and sci fi knowledge to communicate w aliens are at the top of the food chain. And worst case scenario it’s better for my ego to die at the hands of an alien than a human.

Sci go apocalypses are just cleaner y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 4. Best and worst fandom you’ve been in? Or have you somehow managed to avoid fandom completely?

Worst has to be Steven Universe. I regret not just moving on after I got bored. Ah well.

(I also think celebrity/real ppl fandoms are a dead end.)

My other fandoms all have various pros and cons and it’s hard to pick a favourite.

Adventure Time has great fanart, great meta and ppl have yet to descend into Homestuck-ian chaos. That said, they’re quiet af. People also fixate way too much on the fake fanfic AU Fionna and Cake. I have yet to read a really good Bonny/Marcy fic and that is a tragedy (a few have come close tho). Bottom line for AT tho is that it’s my go to wholesome cartoonist fandom. I like that it has depth but that it’s generally very simple and fun and that the fans are mostly shut in animation adults.

AtLA/LoK fandom’s biggest pro is that it’s huge and you literally never ran out of quality content. I’ve even made a few friends via this decade old franchise. It’s also enjoyably rich and complex. One of my favourite (now inactive) blogs was one that connected world building and little background Easter eggs to real Chinese history and culture. That wAs so cool!! I defs think as a Chinese person it allowed me to connect to non-western culture in a socially acceptable way.

The downsides tho are many: it can be overwhelmingly complicated (esp as someone who knows jack shit abt Chinese history), people take it too seriously, The Great Shipping Wars, it’s so big it’s a little lonely, the show itself has so many flaws upon greater inspection you wonder why you wasted your time on anything related to it, it’s an Asian themed story created by white dudes who make fun of their fans, the best parts of the show were written by other writers but those same white guys get k the credit. Also as w any fandom related to POC culture, racism happens. Anyways most of you know this already. IMO the best thing to have happened do the fandom is korrasami. Now it’s just abt Asian lesbians ruling the world.

(Though I also thoroughly enjoy the Family Rivalry part of the fandom. There are so mNy dysfunctional families to choose from!)

Rick and Morty is technically speaking my newest fandom. It’s got a lot of obvious cons (pickle Rick sexists, Szechuan sauce racists, asfhkkh incest) but one other con is just how pedantic and overly analytical people are abt the world building. I can’t breathe wo being corrected. RM has a misleadingly complicated high sci fi aesthetic that begets the kind of overanalysing my brand of overanalytical nerdiness can’t handle. Too many alternate universes. It’s just too complicated.

However one thing I like is that conversely I can overanalyse the writing and characters’ psychology/relationships (which I LOVE) and ppl take me very seriously. (At least they used to.) it’s kinda validating to have your 3k word essay on an old man’s bedroom and what that signifies for his depression get over 1k notes.

Rm also attracts the fun, super talented animation crowd so there’s boundless fanart and memes. I never knew I would like a gravity falls crossover retirement home AU btwn Rick and Stan so much but the art is objectively gorgeous?? So ??

I really dislike the lack of attention the female characters get from fandom bc they’re all really great? Female rep is limited but both canon and fic really do their 2-3 tokens justice. Also the jerry hatred is getting old (that male aggression… Like… Calm down, Jake) but it’s a refreshing departure drom when Megg from family guy was the butt of the joke.

Harry Potter, one of the pillars of nerd society, has both changed my life and irreconcilably annoyed me to death. (W no thanks to the racist creator herself!) One can’t underestimate how huge the hp fandom is which offers you as many reasons to love it as reasons not to. Harry Potter’s canon has complex world building that’s also charming enough not to take itself too seriously and much the same could b said of fanon. To a degree. Certain corners of the fanbase are fantastic shitposters and meme-ers and can draw you back in like a black hole. Casually enjoying Harry potter imo is where it’s at. The fanfic is probably one of the most impressively vast. Strangers at Drakesaugh, believe it or not, still updates and not only that, I still read it.

Not casually enjoying Harry potter is, um, yikes? HP and Hunger Games love to insert themselves appropriately in real life political traumas and honestly the dedication of the fandom can be overwhelming.

The HP fanart corner of deviantart circa 2010-12 and @flocc HP comics however are the best.

Meet the Robinsons, Ye Olde Fandom, still stands to this day. (Thanks in part to me ngl) As Iroh might say, they are a proud people. MTR is so bizarre and tiny it’s the only fandom I was able to read EVERY fic summary in existence (ones published on obscure sites excepted). The fandom has never ceased to surprise me for better or worse and mostly due to its age range. The original movie was intended for 8-12 yr olds and their (jaded) parents which means that now, ten years later, the fans are anywhere between 12 and 25. It has approximately 20 pieces of professional-grade fanart and fic and I am downright serious abt the quality and thoughtful complexity of this minority of fanart. Like I shit you not some of it’s almost too dark. However, tragically, one can’t talk abt obscure Disney fandoms wo also mentioning the incest ships (this is what happens when middleschoolers have to resort to cartoons to explore their sexuality in an anti sex ed world), the disorganised crossovers, and the blinding lack of imagination. Nonetheless, that a fandom of any kind could sprout from a 90 min cgi movie before the recession, based off an obscure but objectively fascinating children’s book, is still impressive. The fandoms smallness can in many wars work to everybody’s benefit: it’s a tightly knit community w little to no drama. And lots of memes (that I mostly make) to enjoy sincerely or ironically.

I’m also going to mention, very briefly, the Twin Peaks fandom, most of whom, even the die hards, are v casual when it comes to fan content (I need more fic damnit). Nonetheless it’s a decidedly cool art kid crowd for an art house show and I really enjoy befriending twin peaks watchers.

5. What’s one hot food that you prefer cold? (or, alternatively, one cold food you like hot)

Is it snobby to say I like food to be the temperature God intended?

Like I like cold pizza and salad-y pasta but I wouldn’t mind if everything were room temperature as long as the food itself was well made.

6. ya like jazz? What music do you enjoy listening to? Can you recommend any songs/ artists from that genre?

I think in some contexts I can like jazz. It’s very cosy and nostalgic, it can make you feel like a grand dame stepping out of your limo into your martini filled mansion as records pop around you and your fur carpeted living room. I also occasionally like jazz covers and alternate genres of jazz like electro swing etc.

Generally though I also think jazz is a little antiquated and a little all over the place. I lean more towards the ambiguous minimalism of mellow techno music like Jonna Lee, Grimes, Björk, early Lorde, Yasmine Hamdan, Austra, TRST, etc

I mean I don’t stick to just one genre (I imagine most ppl don’t). I like alternative (Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, Joanna Newsom) and some musicians who seem to completely exist outside of genre like iMonster and the Gorillaz. Not to mention straight up pop like broods, Ellie goulding, lady gaga and Lana del rey. (I mean technically Ldr isn’t pop but u get the ideer)

7. What binge worthy show do you like?

So many man. There are so many out there! Twin peaks, Transparent, Love, Grace and Frankie, Adventure Time, House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Mad Men, Girls, Broad City, Black Mirror, Avatar TLA, 6Teen, Chowder, Over the Garden Wall, Flapjack, the first season of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, etc

The list goes on. I’m a TV fiend.

8. What’s an old meme that you miss and wish would be brought back?

Always liked the Gothic [x town or whatever] meme. It was like a text post version of the cursed images meme. Currently I’m really enjoying the song from another room meme and I hope even after it gets old it’ll make a comeback.

9. Tell me your aesthetic  

O man. That’s a can of worms! Okay. Deep breath.

I like futurism, of all kinds. I like strong lines and clear shapes. I like colour blocking and minimalism and glass and holographic LED neons. I like white Japanese urban tiled buildings. I like aliens and ruins and cubes and white and colour blocking and black. I like technology and aliens and Comme des Garçons and Issey Miyake. Rooms that are empty but for one light and one window and one plant. Love that.

I like the midcentury cubism and Mod and 30’s futurism. Clear and strong industrial shapes and curves and post modernist abstractionism.

I also love nature, I love most every Björk and Iamamiwhoami music video. I love the mountains and the forests and the desert and the winter tundra and most of all I love the water. A vast expanse of sky and sea w so many colours and textures. I love the 2000s and funny blob shapes and y2k’s obsession w secondary colours and shiny round things. Love pink. I am a grown adult who will never tire of pink. (Though I don’t really like when people overdo pink.) I love cursed image family photos taken with flash in a suburb. I love the grime and the sanitary aesthetic of suburbs and hospitals and brutalist office spaces. The fluorescent lights of the institution but with purple carpeting!

I love 70s mod and I love colorful 80s brutalism I like it when houses are shaped weirdly and they have carpets and polished curved wooden countertops and spacious nothingness where everything looks clean and cosy and bizarrely ugly and it all looks like an art gallery w too many plants.

I also really love maximalism and wood and detail and fur and velvet and embroidery and silk and windows and wood carvings.

I love 70s kitsch like John waters movies and Shrimps designer fake fur CDG17 where they just piled on knickknack after knickknack onto white dresses w food long trains. Toys and novelty items and lamps shaped like a woman’s leg in a fishnet stocking. (See also: most Tim burton movies, wes Anderson, Carrie fishers house)

An overwhelming mishmash of wool patterns with clean cubic 70s architecture and so many plants and windows and wallpaper and candles and cobwebs. Also really like witchy mourning jewelry and essentially every house in Harry potter. Love the unfortunately racist boho/hippie aesthetic. Any house designed by bill kirsch is a masterpiece. Woven baskets on the ceiling piles of hats and art supplies everywhere. Stuff!! Everywhere! Hidden passageways reading nooks fireplaces the Pink Palace from Coraline!

Everything!!!

I’m a cartoonist who’s a nerd for design so I like when concepts are taken to the extreme in a humourously charming and clear-minded way. Whatever aesthetic someone chooses, they should go all out and really dedicate themselves to the highest form of that aesthetic. It has to be perfect without being sanitary of fake. It has to be alive yet beautiful, frozen in one perfect moment.

10. Favourite time of day and why?

Dusk. I think it’s a nostalgia thing. I loved the hours before bed time as well the hours before dinner when it was getting dark and the sun was reflecting freaky colours along the horizon while I ran around the grass. It’s cozy but it’s spacious and adventurous. So many things can happen at dusk!

  11. You have the choice to live in any fictional universe - which one do you pick and why?

Harry Potter!!! You get the best of both worlds: magical, over-romanticised Victorian/medievalism, wish-fulfillment surrealism and wifi. It’s great. Likelihood of dying is so low, medicine is so advanced and even then ppls n°1 choice of lethal weapon (Avada Kedavra) is painless. Me and Luna could hang in her garden. I’d never have to pay for the subway again. I could live a nomadic life in a tent w infinite space. If you chose to live as a wizard amongst Muggles you’re basically god and you can cheat capitalism. Gravity is my bitch! And I’m not gna lie my dream house has always been a combination of The Burrow, the Lovegood house, and Shell Cottage.

My turn to pick your brain:

1 Favourite texture?

2 Favourite smell?

3 Favourite children’s book/children’s TV show? (I’m talking about the bizarre abstract ones for toddlers)

4 Best and worst prank you’ve ever pulled?

5 Weirdest beginning of a friendship?

6 When you’ve been in fandom for a while you start to notice you’ve a habit of staying in the same corners. What corner are you in? Are you part of the fluffy ship corner? The intense world building spec meta corner? The shitpost comic fanart corner? Etc

7 If you could invent a class that would be obligatory for all high schools across your country what would it be?

8 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve gotten at Halloween while trick or treating?

9 Weirdest family tradition of yours?

10 Describe your significant other (or your crush, or your dream partner or if you’re aromantic your fave person) through only TV references.

11 Favourite piece of dialogue in a movie?

I don’t know 11 ppl but nonetheless tagging: @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat @skairheart @nochangenohope @eventheslightestrayofsunshine@autistic-jaredkleinman@phoenixkluke

…and YOU (if you were not mentioned above and so choose to accept this mission)

#tag meme #u #food m ?

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