#some of yall r wild istg.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ssvgawara · 4 years

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Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

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Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

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Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

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Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

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Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

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Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

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Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

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Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

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hwangskz · 5 years

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willy witch-ka | witch! wendy

!!! this is a collab w @chocolate-chip-rookies !! u can see the post for her moodboard right here !! (also why r there so many Ws in the title....)

• ur head's kind of spinning as u open ur eyes, slowly blinking

• u lift urself up from the ground

• (COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that ur on the GROUND... great job, y/n.)

• and ur a bit ?? confused ??

• last time u checked u DIDN'T MOVE TO ANOTHER HOUSE

• so uh

• are u just..... in a stranger's room..??

• "oh, so you're up."

• u turn around and

• OH MY GOD WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LOOK AT HER EYES-

• uh

• are human eyes supposed to.......shine...........

• and that too in red??

• ur first thought : ok what the fuck

• ur second thought : ?? WHAT THE FUCK ??

• ok but on a serious note ARE U DEAD

• this must be heaven

• i mean look at this beautiful woman....

• not be gay but DAMN U R FEELING THE GAY™

• damn ur friends were right when they said u'll go to heaven-

• "this is my place..not heaven. and i'm a witch, just so u know."

• ok maybe they were wrong u went to hell probs

• the Beautiful But Unknown Woman sits down on the foot of the bed, and turns around to face u

• "i was on a hunt for more materials to make up a potion, when i came across ur body-"

• ":0 am i..... dead...."

• "-well, no. u were unconscious. i suppose u were picking fruits? because i had also found a wild dragonfruit lying beside ur limp arm, and half of it was gone."

• "....it looked good so i decided to try it, to make a fruit salad for my friends and i to eat for dinner, if it was good enough."

• "it was poisonous, y/n."

• "i didn't know that- aND HOW DO U KNOW MY NAME???????"

• she sighs (damn was she stressed)

• "i'm a witch?????? i do MAGIC"

• ".......... right sorry"

• she sighs and u could swear she looked tired

• "are u like..okay tho? u seem tired..maybe u should be resting instead"

• she turns to face u, eyebrows raised as she points at herself after looking back and checking if u were talking to some random person out there

• "me?"

• "obviously"

• she laughs, waving her hand as she shakes her head

• "no no !!!! it's ok !!! we witches are like...immortal and all that so it's cool don't worry about me~"

• u nod ur head even tho u knew she was lying

• but it's ok it's better than arguing with this random stran-

• u don't.......u haven't even asked her name yet.......

• and this woman SAVED ur life

• (istg y/n)

• "so uh !! what's ur name"

• "wendy !!!"

• she grins widely as she answers, but quickly calmed down and smiled at u while continuing

• "what's urs!!"

• "i'm y/n- wait don't u alrdy know that"

• "..........."

• yall talked through the day, but soon it was night time

• and GOD this woman is so good at catching u off-guard

• u were staring out the window, thinking how the HELL are u supposed to get out and go back to ur lil cottage thingy where ur friends are, while wendy had gone inside to get some water

• when suddenly

• "what are u looking at-"

• "AAAAAAAAAA-"

• "Y/N IT'S ME !! FOR THE FIFTEENTH TIME IT'S ME PLS STOP YELLING SOMEONE WILL THINK SOMEONE GOT MURDERED OR SOMETHING"

• "right sorry"

• "what were u looking at tho"

• "how am i gonna return?"

• this ..... this completely slipped off her mind actually

• she's just so !!!!!!! comfortable being around u !!!!!!! and usually she makes a bad impression on ppl but u :( ur just so easygoing and she would love to spend more time w u

• but she knows that time doesn't wait and she will have to eventually let u go someday

• "is it okay if i drop u tomorrow early in the morning? it's too late rn to go out.."

• "sure!"

• but the next morning it just got even harder to let her go :(

• "fuck YOU feelings :(" - you, mumbling to urself

• but she made sure to give u a lil smthg before yall say goodbye

• "here u go."

• wendy handed u a chocolate bar, that had some other fruits inside it

• ....it smelled of dragonfruit ...?

• "it'll be a memory of us meeting!! i only infused it w the taste bcs i couldn't include the actual ingredient bcs it seemed to ruin the rest of the recipe somehow..but BECAUSE im a witch!!!!!!!! i used my powers and got u a chocolate bar that'll come back even after u've had it!!!!!"

• "that chocolate is like immortal...omg.."

• "like our friendship!!!!!!!!"

• and so, even after u moved back to the city, u were always reminded of wendy

• and sure u thought at one point

• that like

• it's probably the end of ur friendship

• not exactly "end"

• but mainly bcs u couldn't contact her

• and sure, it's rlly cool that the chocolate keeps coming back, but it's still a spell

• it won't last long

• and it scares u, bcs u would love to spend more time w wendy

• she's ur "willy witchka"

• gives u lifetime supply of chocolates, has superpowers, meets u

• but that one-time-meeting is the last meet

• and it saddens u bcs yea sure "willy witchka" is a cute nickname and wendy probably knows abt this nickname through her superpowers and is (probably) laughing at it rn

• u don't want it to be a one time thing

• "class, i would like you to meet our new student"

• u lift ur head, only to be shocked by the appearance of the person

• "hello! i'm son wendy, a new student. please take care of me!"

• she bows and

• wait

• did

• did she just ..... wink at u......

• :0000000000

• she takes the empty seat that's located beside u, while u continued to stare at her

• "please don't call me willy witchka anymore" - wendy, whispering while leaning towards u

• how to hold in ur laugh by y/n l/n

• "is it because it's an embarrassing nickname or because u don't want this to be a one-time-meeting thing?"

• "both"

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