#some of us hate certain things and some of us love it

[yourstrulyrani]

being the oldest daughter in an ethnic household has been taking a little toll on me lately so let us indulge in roommate!gaz shall we

roommate!gaz who loves to spend his evenings with you in the living room watching whatever you put on the tv. you've currently had this obsession with shows about the military because of gaz, but he absolutely hates the inaccuracy in them. he'll make an occasional comment like "this guy has some magic gun, shooting all these rounds but hasn't reloaded once." on the bright side, he's watching these shows with you and he would never complain about that.

roommate!gaz who does that thing dads do when you say you like a certain food/snack and then buys them in bulk the next time he heads to the store. he said he was getting "nothing much. just some eggs and milk" when he was leaving. but when he walks into the apartment an hour later, you turned out it was a lie. he unloads the groceries and then several packs of your favorite snack. he offers you a warm smile, "you said you liked these a lot the other day, thought i'd buy some for ya."

roommate!gaz who comes back from deployment with trinkets for you always. his work is global and he is never in one country for too long, so there'd be no better way to spend his time around the world than taking the time to get you something. he loves seeing your reactions at the trinkets he brings, your hands holding the little object carefully and your eyes wide in fascination.

roommate!gaz who loves to brag to the 141 boys about how "phenomenal" his roommate is. he talks about how he thinks your job is so cool, how your hobbies are so interesting, and how your personality is enough to brighten his mood after a rough day. subconsciously, he's just listing the reasons he's in love with you. the boys know that he's smitten, but they wouldn't dare to bring it up until he realizes it for himself.

[nicotachi]

my clumsy review aka my unorganized thoughts on Hit New Yuri Game "Love Curse: Find Your Soulmate"! you can buy it on steam here

cyn and i spent the past week or so playing through all 10 endings and i just wanted a place to write down all my thoughts. i feel like i have a Lot to say and barely anyone else to tell so i'm going to attempt to rein it in

under the cut is nothing but spoilers so tread at your own risk! also: i do not hate any ship, but if you are averse to ship hate you may not want to read any of my criticisms!

PLOT SUMMARY

you play as a 20 year-old lesbian (named selene yan by default) navigating her transition from college into the workforce. however, you are suddenly informed of a curse that will kill you in one year's time—the only way to lift this curse is to find your true soulmate (yay a girl) before then.

there are currently 4 romanceable options: your cute childhood-friend-turned-girl-next-door, your classmate's mysterious twin sister, your reliable upperclassman, and your intimidating boss at your internship. who will you choose??? 😳

OVERALL

wow. what a game!!! i have limited experience with visual novels as most of them have been linear. all the otome games i've played were written for straight female audiences (with the exception of kang jaehee of mystic messenger) and designed for mobile. this was my first foray into an honest to goodness Sit In Front Of Computer And Pick Your Girlfriend game, and this time for actual lesbians! and i liked it a lot! what stuck out to me with this game—and keep in mind my limited experience here—is that ALL the endings felt like legitimate endings, even the bad ones. for some characters, the bad endings even felt preferable! this made me feel respected as a reader/player, and gave me a sense of agency in that i was able to choose whatever ending i liked without feeling like other endings were more 'correct'. and boy, did i enjoy some endings much more than others.

there are two curious things about the game.

the first one is a unique mechanic. each character has two meters: an affection meter, and a ??? meter. i thought the affection meter seemed pretty straightforward: get the affection up and get the happy ending. however, this was not so simple for 3 out of the 4 romanceable characters with the second meter in question. if the ??? value reaches a certain number, this may trigger the bad ending for that character. while the ??? value is never outright explained, it seems to represent something different for each character.

the second thing that stuck out to me was that half of the characters' routes directly relate to the lore behind the curse. honestly, it took me a while to even remember the title of the game because the 'curse' part seemed irrelevant to me with my preferred route. while two of the romanceable characters' routes explain the origins of the curse and why you have it, the other two are completely independent stories that could live in a vacuum.

this is likely not the first time this has happened as this was a feature in mystic messenger as well; zen/jaehee/yoosung were labeled 'casual story' while jumin and 707 were labeled 'deep story'. however, it's still an interesting choice as i believe overarching plot relevance influenced the characters which influenced how much i liked each character and/or their route.

which brings me to the main reason i even started this review: RANKINGS. yes, i wanted to rank each ending, explain why i liked them, why i disliked them, and what i think they could have done differently. this is where my opinions will become Opinions so dread carefully (not a typo).

very conveniently, i saw this post which brought me this chart, which i will use to grade each ending:

and now...the rankings!!!

first, i will start with ranking much i liked each character. this is based on writing/design/overall vibes and enjoyment:

iris (by a fuckin MILE omg)

nyx

victoria

eleanor

next, here is the order in which i played so you can have some more context with each route's review:

Iris BE

Iris HE

Victoria HE

Victoria BE

Nyx BE

Nyx HE

Eleanor BE

Eleanor HE

True End

now, here is how i rank each route. this is mainly based on writing and enjoyment:

9. Eleanor HE

Score: ⭐

i'm so sorry eleanor fans. personally i think eleanor was done dirty. tragically, her pre-awakening chemistry with selene is very cute. she's the closest to a classmate that selene has out of all of her love interests, and therefore the closest in maturity level. their banter reminds me of like idk. rory and jess from gilmore girls. basically two people who feel comfortable riffing off of the other. and this is no coincidence; they mention several times how they feel they have known each other for years.

which is a shame, because the route starts going downhill after eleanor's memories are reawakened, which is pretty early on. her personality shifts and it no longer becomes selene x eleanor, but selene x someone who thinks she's jianghe. everything we know about eleanor is thrown out the window in favor of her becoming 'jianghe', whom we barely know anything about.

and i think that's one of the major issues: we never do learn much about jianghe. not in her HE, BE, or even the true end. we don't even get a sprite! how are we supposed to care about jianghe if we barely know her relationship with fuguang? was jianghe also a confident perfectionist like eleanor? was she just as playful? why do we so easily accept that jianghe = eleanor, when in other routes we make it a point that chimei =/= nyx and fuguang =/= selene?

sure, there are hints that eleanor has been controlling since before her memories awakened, but that's still related to jianghe as it's a result of the spirits she pissed off. maybe it would have felt better if being controlling were a core part of her personality, the way iris and nyx's flaws feel more baked into their characters (which is why i thought iris' house arrest was way more interesting but anyways).

what would i do differently? i honestly would have emphasized an internal struggle in which eleanor doesn't know if she wants to continue being jianghe—someone paralyzed by paranoia, fear, and regret—and instead live as eleanor, who respects selene as a fellow intellectual. the house arrest arc dragged on for wayyyy too long. it honestly made me root for nyx to come break us free. instead, what happens is we get a rather bland fairytale ending of us overcoming nyx and living happily ever after.

also, i find it a little unsettling that we never find out eleanor has been tracking us, especially since i read someone on twitter suggest she has been tracking us THROUGH THE SMART WATCH SHE GAVE US IN THE COMMON ROUTE!!! which honestly is a crazy cool detail

8. Victoria HE

Score: ⭐

(WARNING: i do not hate this ship but i can see how you might interpret this as ship hate, so beware)

i like selene and i think i like victoria (even though i wasn't a fan of her routes), but i think selene and victoria have negative chemistry. not a single unit of rizz together. 1+1=0. watching their mutual attraction unfold felt like watching one of those slow trash compactor videos. two cars backing into each other in a parking lot. just something very unpleasant that i didn't want to keep seeing, yet kept reading in hopes of being swayed—and it never happened.

TO BE CLEAR!!! this is NOT because i hate either character and not because of their age gap or boss/employee dynamic. my number one ship rn is gan/qing for god's sake which is both of those. and i think it's BECAUSE i love gan/qing and office romance that i was so put off by their development.

victoria is presented as this cold and intimidating boss who scares selene during her internship interview. and she just...becomes very soft and caring after that? she just starts hanging out with selene like she's on her level and texting her like a friend? to me, it felt like the writers wanted to ignore their power imbalance until they couldn't ignore it anymore, which felt worse imho. what's the point in even making them boss and employee if you can't lean into the forbidden love territory!!!

not to mention, the conflict in both routes is just...i feel like it doesn't do her character justice? victoria is this cold woman who has her own young subsidiary under the qi group, treats rosalie like an annoying cousin, but is powerless to go against them at the same time?

and when she does finally go against them, it feels...idk, too easy. selene barely even does anything honestly, victoria solves it herself. and she just sells all her shares for a cute intern she just met??? even her affection for us feels too 'easy'. i wanted it to come with more strings i think...the writing and reasoning just felt way too disjointed for me.

what would i do differently? for one, i think i would lean into the 'problematic' aspect more. this is the toxic yuri game for a reason!!

i would have preferred if victoria were engaged from DAY ONE. chapter 0 baby. it would have made her 'innocent' flirting with us all the more scandalous in hindsight and made us rethink her green flag status.

i also would have amped up their boss/employee dynamic with them both knowing it's a line they shouldn't cross (and do). for example, more subtle gestures from victoria under the guise of Work. hands brushing over paperwork, a hesitant pat on the shoulder, idk ANYTHING!!! GIVE ME SOME PRIDE & PREJUDICE!!! IN FACT JUST REBRAND GAN/QING AND HAND IT TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER. it was a mistake to have so much of their flirting over text because it feels both out of character and kinda just? ick? idek. it would have been funnier if victoria were a super dry texter but gave mixed signals in person.

7. Eleanor BE

Score: ⭐

i gave this one more points because eleanor actually dies. NOT because i hate eleanor, but because actions have consequences and her death is the consequence of her and phoenix keeping selene in the dark and not respecting her agency.

however, it still has the flaw of the incredibly long house arrest arc, as well as something that bothered me: this eleanor feels incredibly vindicated by her actions, even in death. first it was the flower pot incident, then it was tracking selene and being able to die for her in the forest.

what would i do differently? well for one, i think eleanor should have had regrets in her dying moments. it would have been better if she had that final realization that hey, maybe controlling every aspect of selene's life, memorizing her schedule, and viewing her movements 24/7 IS bad and the reason she's dead. unfortunately, she's still too stuck on fulfilling jianghe's wishes and basically dies as jianghe.

6. Victoria BE

Score: ⭐⭐

i share the same gripes with her HE. however, i rate her BE higher because the ending is actually very interesting to me. i liked the line about selene realizing victoria and rosalie are still cut from the same cloth, that at the end of the day victoria will lean on materialism and privilege to keep selene at her side. the symbolism of selene kissing the ring instead of victoria herself is RAW AF. especially when contrasted with her HE cg (kissing the ring that belongs to another woman vs holding the hand wearing selene's ring, the drawn curtains vs open window, etc). really cool of the writers and artists to do that.

what would i do differently? same as her HE criticisms, but especially the bit where i think victoria should have been cheating from the start. i don't think it's unfair as there is evidence to support eleanor has been tracking us since the common route. i do appreciate that all the characters' flaws do show up in the common route/happy endings

5. Nyx BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

before this route: oh nyx is just that childhood friend who is a littleeee bit clingy and unsettling but i'm sure she means no harm. i saw her kissing cg in the trailer it's very romantic she's just doing her best

during this route: holy shit she's an evil demon from our past and the reason why we're even cursed to die to begin with?

no real notes. banger story that gave me my first peek into the lore, more music tracks that were great and stellar voice acting from nyx. the backstory reveal and how they met bell was sooo cute. the final scene was raw af with selene being like "no. i'm not going to die with you because i don't want to 💃💃💃" and wanting to bid her ACTUAL LOVED ONES a proper goodbye. metal affff

also, the common cg with chimei lying with fuguang is gorgeous af chimei is literally channeling hu tao there

what would i do differently? well this one's a bit shallow but.....can they redraw fuguang and chimei's sprites please. the cg is so good just make it match

4. Iris HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

i LOVE iris but i felt like the outcome of this route felt less deserved when compared to her BE. iris is such a compelling character whose cruel breakup with us was the result of her strong feelings of resentment (and let's be real depression). i NEEDED her to GET INTO her resentment!!! but what happens is that she is literally about to tell us wtf is her problem with her family when she gets interrupted by a phone call. and disappears from work. and we don't see her until a few days later by coincidence. and she begs for us to take her back and we do.

to be honest, i had played her HE second and initially rated it way lower than it is here, but i recently replayed it after the true end and enjoyed it a lot more than i did the first time. while their reconciliation was a little ? to me (see: next entry), their redo date was super cute. i love a good breakup and grovel and reconciliation, and iris giving the date her best was really nice to watch. she had spent all that time in the common route/beginning of her route flirting with us meaninglessly, so it was nice to see her doing it with the actual intent to charm us.

while i had initially disliked the scene in which she spills her feelings and asks us to to take her back when compared with the cafe scene in the BE (peak), i do like it for what it is, and i especially like the part where she politely asks us to not reject her as she doesn't think she can take it at the moment. 😭

the final section with the business trip was kinda meh (victoria, why are you asking iris who is supposedly on a different team and also a newbie to substitute for selene's senior coworker lmao), i do love the implied sex the night before. WE LOVE YOU FADE TO BLACK WE LOVE YOU DISCRETIONARY SHOTS!!! iris said it may take her a while to become intimate with someone (maybe someone who knows chinese can tell me what exactly she meant by 'intimate') but girl it only took you several months to eat her cookie huh?

what would i do differently? see the next entry mostly. but honestly, i would have revealed more about her family and resentment and hate here rather than leaving it up to the BE.

3. Iris BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (Spicy����️🌶️🌶️🥵)

if you haven't guessed by now, iris is my favorite character in the whole damn game. her bad ending was actually my first route as i totally fell into the xuejie trap and did everything i could to please her. consequently and to my surprise, i overindulged her and activated her dormant yandere state.

i had some suspicions about her as selene continued to rebuff her attempts to get back together, but i too was caught off-guard when iris decides to ROOFIE AND CHLOROFORM US. OMG. they even get into the weeds with the details of the kidnapping to show how scary the situation is e.g. iris feeding us literal crumbs and water in the dark. girl when can we pee?

but oh my god. that cg. that iconic cg that apparently made the rounds on twitter that i had thankfully avoided getting spoiled by but you know what? if i saw that cg first i'd have bought the game too. the game seems to sell at least part of itself on the idea that everyone has a dark side, but iris' ending takes it up a notch with "everyone has a dark side, and sometimes their dark sides are also sexy." because goddamn iris!!! her whole schtick is being miss perfect who is tired of being perceived as perfect and wants to bare her ugly side too, but sorry xuejie your ugly side is kind of sexy too soooo idk...

this is becoming a hornypost for iris i'm sorry. anyways um what would i do differently? my main gripe is while i commend selene for being much stronger than me, her reasons for continuing to deny iris in the BE vs her reasons for accepting iris in her HE make no sense to me.

the divergence in iris' route happens after the bathroom scene, in which you can either choose to walk in on her phone conversation/cry session (increasing her ??? meter) or try to give her some privacy (increasing her affection meter). interestingly, if you walk in, she will lie and claim she was trying to create a situation in which you two would bump into each other.

in the bad ending, you take her to the cafe where you had your first date and where she also dumped you and she pours her heart out about her family, her insecurities, why she broke up with you.

and you still decide to treat her coldly after that.

i can see how this would make sense, sure. selene is incredibly hurt. iris doesn't get to just hit the undo button because she's feeling regretful one month later. but this also doesn't make sense, because in the happy ending where you DO take her back such a conversation doesn't happen!

what happens in the HE after the divergence is: she stalks you at your social gathering (ironically she doesn't kidnap you in this one), is interrupted by a phone call before she can tell you more about her family, you find out about her family by very nicely asking victoria (simp) to disclose confidential info from iris' personal file, and you randomly bump into iris at school (iris has long since graduated), where she cries and asks you to take her back.

what??

not to mention iris' sudden slip into crazy. hotness aside, when and why does she decide to kidnap us? does she go out and buy some chloroform after eavesdropping on our resignation convo? i'm not opposed to the yandere thing at all, i just needed a little more believable buildup. she goes from completely cold and resentful of being needed to "i want to make you need only me" in the blink of an eye. maybe the writers could have connected it a bit more—maybe her doubling down into the dependable breadwinner role is her rejecting her most honest and imperfect self, realizing her true feelings were what pushed selene, her only love, away.

but anyways. still good tho.

2. Nyx HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

being a 'deep route', nyx's route does a good job of being a satisfyingly complete story that fleshes out her character while delving into the lore. the payoff feels good, and i like that the writers don't try to downplay nyx's red flags even after they officially get together. nyx being jealous of their cat that SHE originally took in herself is just as amusing as it is a concern.

what would i do differently? well, my main thing with selene/nyx is that while i do find them cute (as well as fuguang/chimei), i sort of get the sense that selene is partly with nyx because she sees her as her responsibility, much like the way fuguang saw chimei. while i was very impressed by selene's development from being the least interested in nyx (IMHO) in the common route to seeing her as a lover, i think part of me isn't fully convinced that she fully reciprocates nyx's intense feelings. their final cg is soooo romantic though it invokes the shoujo doki doki fr

1. True End

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

holy shit. no notes. the true end appropriately ties everything together. i loved the extra insight into fuguang's personality, the extent of nyx's crimes, as well as more tragic bell moments.

there is NO WAY the writers weren't teasing a lil selene selfcest, because holy shit that cg? with the cheek touch? and selene admiring fuguang's calloused hands which were so unlike her own? and becoming hyperaware of the fact that they are different people who happen to share a soul? there is nooooo fuckin way that she didn't feel a lil something for fuguang. my god.

the idea that selene travels into the past to save her own soul and ends up staying behind to save FUGUANG'S soul is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. and she becomes this wandering traveler who makes sure to protect herself/fuguang's reincarnation for eternity WHILE legitimizing every single route is just. wow!!!

if her curse weren't already broken by the paradox, it would have been broken by her true soulmate literally being the one person who shares her soul. time travel ALWAYS equals yuri. so so good. perhaps an unintentional aesop about loving yourself lmao

what would i do differently? i know the moments after fuguang passes away are supposed to blur, but some actual onscreen interaction with jianghe would have been nice. we literally know the bare minimum about her!!

ok let's wrap it up

you know what it's way past my bedtime so i should just end it here. in closing love curse was such a fun read/play and i enjoyed all the ways in which it wrinkled my brain and made me think about what i liked and what i wanted. i highly recommend you go buy it and support the devs so we can show how much the world wants yuri!!!!!

EDIT: cyn had to remind me of the actual order in which i played the routes so i edited it accordingly LOL. i think it’s actually because i disliked victoria’s happy ending so much that i started playing the bad endings first again

also, i mention 10 endings but only rank 9. this is because the 10th ending is the one in which you die due to not establishing a meaningful soulmate connection in time. currently, we’ve only read through iris and victoria’s versions of it. i do like iris’ a lot (shocker) because she sees you as a blip in her radar, something that could have been. i’m ngl i laughed out loud at victoria’s because why is my boss situationship organizing my funeral and not my own PARENTS LMAO

[multiheadcanons]

SILLY LITTLE TEAM WIDE THOUGHTS I HAVE

1. both teams have been essentially pavloved to hate the color of the other team. they don’t even notice it, half the time. they won’t buy certain things if it’s the enemy’s color. it could be something they’ve always wanted, they finally saved up some money for it, and if it only comes in the enemy team’s color they just won’t buy it. and vice versa, they’re more likely to buy something that is in their team’s color, even if it’s not exactly what they wanted but close enough to it, then they’ll get it in their team’s color. this urge varies throughout each teammate, but is prevalent throughout both teams.

2. both teams love interacting with the scouts, but they mainly love fucking with them, despite their team orientation, because the scouts are the best humored people on the team. both scouts have a penchant for a good old roast, and can take it just as much as they can dish it out. and both scouts are quite friendly! scout is one of the few teammates who both teams feel comfortable interacting with, regardless of the team. both scouts have done a wonderful job at blending the lines between the mercenaries being a team, and the mercenaries being friends, and the mercenaries being a family, and if scout wasn’t there, neither team would function nearly as efficiently or closely as they do now, because they just wouldn’t have the level of trust they do.

3. the soldiers love playing chess. neither one of them are very good at it, and they talk about their moves as they plan them, but they are confident that they will slowly get better. depending on who they’re playing with, their opponent will either take advantage of the outward pondering or decide to indulge them. and watching them play chess together is a hoot. it becomes an entire cooperative experience as the teams gather to listen to the men debate and argue about the game of war. sometimes they’ll even chime in, and give them various strategies to use against each other! but the outward telling of movements is going to be a hell of a habit to break when they get better.

4. the pyros often switch out their positions on the team and they’re pretty sure nobody notices. sometimes the blu pyro wants to feel… warm. when they converse with the red pyro in off times, they always seem so warm. and the blu pyro doesn’t really get that with their team. not that they don’t love their team, by any means, but they’re just… cold. reserved. and the red pyro sometimes needs a break from the bustle of the red team! sometimes the idea of teammates that actually… respect them enough to give them their space sounds very appealing. so they switch! the red engineer is the only man who notices the switch. he elects to play along. obviously the blu pyro needs something if they are desperate enough to board with the enemy for it. and the red pyro always comes back refreshed and ready to socialize. so he supposes they’re getting something out of it, too.

5. the demomen run a side hustle of a dueling piano bar. it actually gets quite a bit of business! the men get rowdy, so the bar gets loud. you can hear them banging on the piano down the block, and the drunken cheers that come from the bar. they try to keep this away from the team. this is one of the few things that they both feel like tavish, and not like demo. the blu demo will go by finnegan so there’s no confusion. they tell people they’re twins. travelers and locals of town of teufort love tavish finnegan degroot. though, both men do play alone at their bases occasionally, of which everyone appreciates! they just both wish they could be tavish in those moments. not demoman.

6. both heavies have a penchant for good natured pranks. from scaring the team around corners to elaborate goose chases that span all day, if not multiple days, it is the number one way to not only get both heavies involved further into the team, but really bring them both out of their shell! it is arguably one of their most normal hobbies. both of them also understand when to knock it off, but will go to the ends of the earth for a prank war. usually, this is all in good fun on both teams, and brings them together. as long as nobody takes it too far. the doctors are their favorite targets because they hate it. it freaks them out.

7. the same way the engineers will work together to make creations for the betterment of mann co as a company, is the same way they steal the others’ original blueprints. this has become a dangerous side game the teams play with each other, that nobody but the engineers get paid for. but the team does love the thrill of a good covert operation. and nobody realizes because nobody cares— neither do the texans— but they are a de facto informant for the higher ups. neither one of them fulfill this duty in any way that matters to administration. if anything, both men insist that this team is full of morons. and that’s genuinely for the best of everyone. the less higher ups know, the more freedom everyone has to do what they really want.

8. both doctors scoot around their respective infirmaries, and occasionally the base, on wheeled stools. they have become quite skilled on them! the red doctor is a little more reckless, and has a tendency to run over feet. but when you can’t see him coming, it’s a little harder to get out of the way. and the blu doctor is refined, able to get exactly where he needs to be in as little as a push. both doctors are also avid cyclists. they don’t wear the garb because they think it’s stupid, but they both have bikes. and if they need to get somewhere, they’ll bike there. the medics also have the most odd effect of their distaste for the enemy colors. the only reason the blu doctor isn’t as messy as his counterpart is because he likes the way deoxygenated blood looks in the veins. it’s clean, it’s neat, and he knows exactly where it’s going. the red doctor doesn’t care. he just wants to see red.

9. both snipers are quite physically fit people, they just Look Like That. the australians get thorough enjoyment from full physical exertion, they just are not prime physical combatants. they prefer solo adventuring and survival, and they’ll stick together if they want to be gone for extended periods of time. they also share parental custody. they think the mundys haven’t noticed. they absolutely notice that they’ve got one kid who’s their shy goofy little boy and another who is their explosion of a goofy little boy. they don’t have favorites and they love them both dearly i refuse to feed into the blu sniper parent angst the mundys know and they love their boys. they don’t know how it keeps happening but every time another falls into their lap they just say “oh boy, another one!” they’re thinking about renaming one of them. give him his own identity. and off the field, the snipers see each other as brothers.

10. everyone knows the spies swap information. what they don’t know is how the spies keep their information so up to date, and how it seems to be untouchable in the sense of sullying via inaccurate information. between the both of them, there is not a single piece of false information that is spread between them. they vehemently fact check each other, keep tabs on the enemy team to ensure the intel they’re getting is correct, and frankly, they don’t lie to each other in the first place! the spies database of information on their teammates is a sacred text between the two of them. they feel no need to conceal information from the other, and the information is never used outside of their interactions. anything that the spies pick up past their meetings to keep their information clean is free game, though. they call it “brunch with friends” to their teammates. and in their defense, they do go eat!

11. both teams are incredibly vicious, and effective, and tight knit. just not in the same ways as each other. while the red team has care and respect built on their trust for each other, the blu team has an innate trust and care with each other built on respect. the red team knows they can rely on their teammates for anything, on and off the field, but they’re messy, and get overly involved with each others personal lives, and it muddies their waters. the blu team, however, gives each other the respect of privacy and space. there isn’t any waxing poetic unless both teammates are open and willing. it is a near insurmountable task to break the unit. and if someone is in a real issue, they will come to each others aid. they don’t have to enforce that by talking to each other. it’s just part of the job. and they do care, but they care about the effectiveness of the team. the battling of different facets of their personalities has forced them to assess not only their own strengths, but their weaknesses. because, aside from a few key similarities, both teams know that wherever they lack is where their counterpart is strong, and they’ve had to use that while strategizing to ensure that everyone’s bases are covered all the time. this leads to many stalemates, and it only takes one teammate being off their game to derail an entire battle. there is not enough people for anyone to slack off because nobody can take their place to supplement without leaving their own position uncovered.

[karmacharmeleon18]

I think it's good to call out the gratuitous amount of SA in this series. Obviously I love these books, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, but there really is far too much SA in them for it to not be criticised. Obviously SA is something that can happen in a story and it's not inherently bad for a writer to include it especially if it is portrayed as a traumatic and evil thing, which for the most part it is. But there's just.... Too much of it. I always had issue with the "I was seven" thing bc it's one random scene that tells us that Drake was in fact NOT the only person to rape Andrew, and it was so unnecessary?? Being raped by one person is traumatic enough, him being raped before at an even younger age added NOTHING to the story other than shock value, especially seeing as it's NEVER mentioned again and Drake is portrayed as the biggest villain of Andrew's past, we don't even know who that other person was. And quite honestly Jean being an SA survivor is unnecessary too, because all the stuff he endured at the nest was already traumatic enough and even without rape he suffered more than any other raven (eg waterboarding). That being said I think the way Nora has handled Jean's SA so far has been okay, not perfect but I don't have major issues personally, but you're absolutely right that the gratuitous amount of SA in these books certainly attracts a certain type of fan. I've seen so many people theorising that characters who haven't canonically been raped actually have and we just don't know about it. Obviously that Thea anon, I've seen people theorising about Neil, and about Jeremy (obviously Jeremy has his own issues with sex, but it's a bit more nuanced than full on rape, I saw people theorising Bryson raped him 🥴). Like, it's enough guys, we don't need every character in this series to be a rape survivor, it's more than enough that BOTH main romances include a rape survivor

Couldn't have said it better 🙌🏾

Jeremy having a history of CSA is actually my biggest FEAR - not a theory or hc tho, just a straight up fear - because I know how much Nora is obsessed with it... and I hate that a fear like this is actually a concrete possibility in this series 😭😭 sometimes I wonder why, why did I have to like a series that inflicts so much emotional damage on me? 🥲

Shock value is honestly the best way to explain how Nora generally handles rape (in the extra content as well). She just sees it as a character trait that makes a character more interesting and it's disturbing at this point

(Especially her obsession with CSA, specifically repeated CSA... what Andrew went through because of the Spears is BAD ENOUGH NORA GODDAMMIT)

One of my biggest thrills for this new series was to see how Nora had matured as a writer and I have to say... not much? Not only writing-style wise (which I actually appreciate, she's consistent and that's good considering the new books are a direct continuation of the old ones) but also in the way she sees these very important, terrible real life issues as just something to use to make her characters interesting...

Rape is not simply something her characters go through.

It's something they need to endure, otherwise she doesn't think they're worth writing about.

(And maybe that's why Thea is such a non-character... she was just in an abusive cult, after all)

That's my biggest issue with her as a writer.

She uses rape not because she wants to portray a character's healing journey, but because rape is needed for them to be her main characters at all. Without it, they wouldn't be interesting enough for her to write about (which she has admitted to in the past)

I hoped we would see a different, more self-aware and respectful side of Nora

But "shock value" and "torture porn" are still the best way to describe her books. Which is why I never recommend them to anyone

I too think the way she handled Jean's history is overall ok. But I have some major issues, namely Grayson and Zane showing up again (Grayson in particular). That was absolutely unnecessary imo and goes back to the gratuitous amounts of sa/mentions of sa 😕

Nora uses rape/the threat of it/mentions of it to continuously torture her characters on page and after a certain point it becomes just exhausting to read

(Drake, Proust, Grayson...)

We get it, Nora. I promise we get it. No need to keep tormenting your characters and us with it.

At this point it's less about a character's healing journey and more about a character's continuous suffering. It does feel like she has a fetish for it :/

[lemotmo]

🥰

Q. Okay but in all seriousness what could a third option really look like? Any ideas yet?

A. The only thing I can really think might be plausible as a third option is officially setting up the 'will they/won't they' in canon. But even that is going to require something during these last two episodes, particularly from Eddie. We've seen Buck be questioned about Eddie and we've seen Eddie's sexuality questioned to Buck, but we haven't seen Eddie questioned or be confronted about Buck. And we haven't had him face any kind of direct questioning about his sexuality. We're going to need one of those things to be addressed directly to Eddie in some form. But Eddie confirming any part of a possible Buck relationship, either by admitting feelings or questioning his own sexuality, already pretty much removes the will they/won't they factor. Because either one of those things happening is going to be canon confirmation that Buddie is happening. And I'm just not sure the opportunity the earthquake, and one or both of them being trapped, provides for a big dramatic confession will be too tempting for Tim/ABC to resist. That's a moment that could be reblogged, retweeted, regif'd and hyped for the entirety of the break leading into season 9. I just don't know if that's something Tim will be able to resist. It would also be a scene that both Oliver and Ryan would definitely share on their Instagrams. And ABC and Hulu would be able to use for promotion and season 9 teases. That's just really tempting, easy PR. And spending the 2 and a half month hiatus before production begins on season 9 being able to tease the return of Bobby as well as the new relationship between Buddie is basically a PR gift because those things sell themselves. So I'm mostly where I was earlier. I think we're getting a mutual confession. BUT I'm not certain and am being very cautious and am trying to talk myself out of it purely for my own sanity.

*but I have wanted an over the radio mutual confession forever. I want the dramatics of one of them thinking they're not going to survive and deciding they can't die without the other knowing how they feel. That's why I think Buck will be the trapped one because there's definitely a reason they didn't have Buck tell Bobby he loved him. I think that's coming into play in the season finale. And a dramatic over the radio confession allows others to hear it, which gives the opportunity for Chimney and Hen reactions, which we and they deserve. I have craved that for years. Then I want them to have a private moment for their first kiss and face to face mutual I love you between just the two of them.*

That's what I personally want but I will take and be happy with whatever way they decide to make them canon. I won't be picky. But God I want the radio confession. I want the desperation of both of them thinking this is the only chance they're going to get to say it. Ugh.

Thanks again Nonny!

I've given up on trying to talk myself out of anything at this point. I am ALL in.

Whatever they're serving? I'm eating. 🤷‍♀️

Let's go!!! 😄

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[vecimelon]

I'm rereading the books and I feel the need to make a post listing all the nice things Annabeth and Percy have done for, or said to, or benefited each other, no matter big or small, directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally. Because I hate to see critiques on either of them, and sometimes I just want to focus on how much they love each other, or in some cases just how much of a good person they are, and how much I love them.

So here's a list for The Lightning Thief (I'm gonna do later books as I reread them one by one). I'm starting with Annabeth because her accomplishments and good deeds get overlooked much much more often than Percy.

And while making this list I also found myself unconsciously including some things they've done that contributed to the quest, because I'm also sick of some people saying bullshit like Annabeth isn't that smart at all and is actually pretty useless... so in general this is more of a list showing their love and care for each other as well as their courage, kindness and wit (and some cute moments I can't bear to drop) which makes it way longer than expected.

Alright, here we go!

🦉 Annabeth:

- Nursed Percy back to health after the Minotaur battle. (I know she did it rather for her own sake to get information from him but still she did a nice thing.)

- Tried to step in front of Percy to defend him when the hellhound attacked. (Yet all some people can focus on is how she tricked Percy during Capture the Flag so she must be pure evil... hello hello she instinctively stepped in to protect him right after that scene do you people even read??)

- Volunteered to join Percy's quest. (Also more for her own sake but again, he needed someone and she was there, which was nice.)

- Offered to cover Percy for him to escape from the Furies (when they weren't even friends!)

- Told Percy he was brave for coming back for her and Grover.

- Figured out Aunty Em was Medusa and warned Percy about it & provided a plan to defeat her.

- Didn't stop Percy from sending Medusa's head to the Olympus. (This is so funny I don't even know why I include this but I believe this was a nice gesture coming from her somehow, like she stood with her friend (?) even though she didn't approve of his act, or maybe she agreed with his opinions on the gods to a certain extent.)

- Tried to talk Percy back from bartering with Hades because she believed it wouldn't be good for him.

- Apologized to Percy after blurting out something mean about his dad. (See? She DOES acknowledge it when she says something that's not very nice. She is NOT that heartless, arrogant, unapologetic bitch some of you people always like to claim her to be.)

- Accepted Percy's peace offering by suggesting that Athena and Poseidon could, in fact, work together.

- Offered to stay with Percy on the Gateway Arch when the elevator was full and he couldn't get in.

- Helped each other climb over the fence of the water park. (This is just cute.)

- Robbed the Waterland souvenir shop so they all got fresh clothes. (Yay!)

- Went into the Tunnel of Love with Percy even though she was embarrassed.

- Did a little math on the boat in the Tunnel of Love and gave out an accurate enough cue for them to jump.

- Apologized for freaking out at the spiders in the water park & thanked Percy for saving her. (Again! She DOES acknowledge her mistakes and incompetencies thank you very much.)

- Comforted Grover together. (My babies 😭 *hugs each of them* *kisses them on the cheek* Mommy loves you so much!!!)

- Opened up to Percy about her dad and the famous "bEcaUSe YoU'rE mY FrIEnD SEaWeEd bRAiN"!!! (I can't express how much I love this scene. They are literally my angles, all three of them ❤️❤️❤️)

- Distracted the truckers when they were about to run into Percy and Grover.

- Used the Lotus Casino credit cards to get a cab to LA.

- Tried to reassure Percy and boost his morale when he was upset about making the deadline after the Lotus Casino.

- Apologized right after she said something snarky to Percy and encouraged him when they were going to enter the Underworld. (She's actually pretty sensitive to people's emotions and she really cares about Percy's feelings!! How do you call this girl abusive I truly don't understand 😡)

- Held Percy's hand when they went into the Underworld.

- Managed to train Cerberus in a gentle and professional way so they could get through. (And she teared up when they left the dog 😭 again how do you even call this girl abusive?!?!)

- Offered to stay in the Underworld for Percy to save his mom.

- Apologized to Percy about his mom after they left the Underworld.

- Gave Percy her necklace before his fight with Ares. (My heart is melting 😭)

- Took care of Percy after he got bitten by the Pit scorpion & believed him about Luke.

- Took Percy's advice to reconnect with her dad.

🦭 Percy:

- Apologized for getting toilet water over Annabeth. (It was kinda his fault but not entirely lol.)

- Agreed to take Annabeth on the quest because he knew how much she wanted it.

- Refused to leave Annabeth and Grover behind when the Furies attacked and managed to save them all.

- Complimented Annabeth on her battle skills shown during the confrontation against the Furies.

- Followed Annabeth's directions when fighting Medusa (and thus the pattern starts here.)

- Offered to take first watch on their first night so his friends could catch some sleep. (This is a scene I want to expand a bit on - Percy also noticed that Grover was upset and talked to him and tried to comfort him, meanwhile Grover mentioned that Annabeth forgave him for Thalia. This scene really shows how the three of them are all very good kids and all care about each other very much... god I love them so much my babies 😭)

- Said hello to the poodle after Annabeth told him to. (I'm sorry this gets me cracked up every time I just have to include it.)

- Tried not to drool in his sleep when Annabeth was sitting next to him. (I really need to stop including these ridiculous little things but they're too funny I just can't help it I'm sorry!! 😂)

- Tried to make Annabeth feel better when she told him about her dad.

- Offered to make peace with Annabeth by asking her if they could ever cooperate.

- Went to the Gateway Arch with Annabeth because she wanted to see it and he didn't want to let her go on her own.

- Was really paying attention when Annabeth was ranting about the Gateway Arch and found it interesting.

- Was willing to stay behind on the Gateway Arch because he didn't want to bother others.

- Saved Annabeth in the Tunnel of Love when she was busy freaking out at the spiders & again followed Annabeth's direction to jump.

- Said it was okay when Annabeth apologized for the spiders.

- Asked Annabeth about her dad and tried to do a little therapy session there. (He actually did that a lot throughout the series. I'm impressed at how often people were willing to open up to him. I know it was mainly because Rick needed to show other characters' issues through Percy's narration, but it also shows that Percy is someone who is always willing to listen and understand.)

- Woke Annabeth up in the Lotus Casino.

- Came up with an idea to save Annabeth and Grover from being strangled by Procrustes's waterbeds.

- Managed to lure Charon into agreeing to get them into the Underworld.

- Let Annabeth hold his hand when they went into the Underworld. (I'm NOT grinning like an idiot when typing this. )

- Refused to sacrifice Annabeth or Grover and made the hard choice of leaving his mom in the Underworld. (And he promised to return Hades's helmet and mentioned Charon's pay raise AND Cerberus's needs to be cared for. God this boy really has a big heart *sighs*)

- Challenged Ares for the lightning bolt, which is basically risking his own life to save everyone the trouble.

- Acknowledged Annabeth and Grover's assistance when getting Zeus's approval for completing the quest. (Zeus didn't really care though lmao.)

- Helped Annabeth (however unintentionally) with making up her mind about returning to her dad.

Annnnd that's it for TLT!

I'm quite amazed at how long this list went, like I knew they were both great and cared about each other a lot but I didn't realize they'd already done so much for each other when they were barely friends.

And rereading the book scene by scene really made me see how many times the trio worked together to get themselves out of tough situations. The three of them were all indispensable to this quest and any attempt to downplay the importance or contributions of any of them should be convicted as a serious crime!! They were literally just kids who were trying their best and actually succeeded which is so, so impressive. Big applause to all of them 👏👏👏 TLT trio always has and always will hold a place in my heart!

[descendantofthesparrow]

at the very least-i hope its fun

[unproduciblesmackdown]

come get your levitous sidekick / vicious bastard / funny little guys

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Me wondering why my cat and i have spent pretty much all day in my winter bed blanket and pillow nest and kinda shivering when I’m outside of it, checks my weather app

Oh. That would do it

[calugaritsa]

stop putting that stupid ass vladimir nabokov rereading lecture on my dash 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"one cannot read a book, one can only reread it" SKILL ISSUE!!!!!! I READ THEM ALL THE TIME!!!!

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

very tired of not being allowed to have Certain Characteristics

[wereh0gz]

I keep flip-flopping between loving my current art style and wanting to go back to how I used to draw things and I haaaaate it

[lewyn-martell]

.

[silencingspellsongs]

begging people to adopt the idgaf mindset i think if we all just developed a lil idgaf energy it would lead us to nirvana

[collideliketwostars]

I wait for you

;Alex G

[akascow]

whats up i played pokemon violet for 12 straight hours today and i have barely progressed through the game bc i keep getting sidetracked on routes trying to find all the hidden dropped items