#some of this is me projecting behaviors I do with my little sister I'll be real

[betaboks]

Oh also I had this little chart I drew up but almost forgot to post

Transcript under the cut in case my handwriting is illegible :thumbsup:

How the Boys Handle That Awkward Post-Argument Period Where You Wanna Communicate But Can't Talk

Ichiji + Niji - Meowing back and forth and sitting close (frequent arguers)

Ichiji + Yonji - Leaning on each other. If it's really bad, they'll hold hands too. (less frequent but it happens)

Niji + Yonji - Lying on top of each other / humming together (infrequent arguers)

*These overlap a bunch and all of them meow to communicate, it's their thing. Just so happens 1+2 do it the most

Sanji - Person they're often arguing about, whoops! Physically unable to GAF but he'll join in on comforting behaviors when encouraged. Mostly w/ 2+4

[keeps-ache]

i have been BETRAYED. i've been thrown to the grappling arms of damnation and i've found that the exit was merely a dim recollection of another place !!

[modstin]

Discworld Project 3

Equal Rites

Equal Rites is a bit of a stumble for some folks. It's technically the start of the witches series, but a lot of folks put it down to the 'old discworld weirdness' and recommend Wyrd Sisters instead. But I see a lot of value in this novel.

I'll say it straight out, Eskarina Smith is WONDERFUL. She is, bar none, my favorite Discworld character, most certainly my favorite Discworld Protagonist. She's funny, adorable, and entertaining from the first moment you meet her to the moment she says her final word. I love her.

The book's focus on her learning to become a witch, showing her wizarding tendencies in both magic and behavior is so very flavorful, and as her magic grows you see more of her character expressed in the things she doesn't *actively* do, but passively does with her magic.

The adventure she has to get to Ankh Morpork is a treat. I love all of the characters she meets along the way. Treatle is perfectly up his own ass, Simon is kind but misguided, the Zoon are an absolute treat (if somewhat problematic in how they're described). And the whole bit with the broom is hilarious.

Granny Weatherwax, in her debut role, is not particularly fleshed out yet. She's not the all-powerful mind bending witch we see later, but a bit rough around the edges, and, at points, too passive or too weird or not right. It works for this novel though.

The whole of it is just enjoyable, exciting, funny, and so cute. A really good start to the witches series.

And then the third act starts.

Some people say this book is just not up to snuff with the rest of the series. I disagree with them! I think it's a fantastic novel, which throws itself off a cliff for no reason the moment Esk gets to Ankh Morpork.

The wizards? Infuriating. Awful. Granny? An absolute pushover, annoyingly passive especially to Cutangle. Simon? He's good in the first scene he's in, and proves to have as much chemistry with Esk in the third act as Oil and Water. He's awful to her, and she falls in love with him? It's ridiculous.

And then, it ends, and none of it even matters. Esk is brought up, perhaps, once in the entire series after this. Everything about this adventure was meaningless and doesn't affect anything about the Wizards going forward.

The way Esk fawns over Simon and how Granny even slightly falls for Cutangle's shtick (despite him continuously being just the absolute worst) undermines everything the book had set up thus far, and the ending leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

There are very few portions of Discworld I hesitate to read, portions that actively upset me. But lord all mighty it took me a DAY to get through the third act because I enjoyed it that little. The book would be an A if it had a serviceable third act, it'd be an S to me if it was a good ending, maybe even my favorite if it was a VERY good ending. But the third act of this book, and its impact on the series (that being: none whatsoever) forces me to give it a C on the whole. I ADORE Esk, and I LOVE the first two thirds of this book, but. Yeah.

Eskarina Smith, I will remember you always...

I give Equal Rites a C

[tuesday-teyz]

Hi, so I literally just got tumbler to see your posts and I love BR so much. So I have a few questions for you that I hope you'd answer. Apologies if it's long.

Would anything change in the story change if BR!Tommy had a younger sibling?

If BR!Tommy had met BR!Ranboo before becoming the crown prince (say in some alternate universe he visited Esempi and met him or something) would he befriend him?

Was there any way that BR!Tommy and BR!Ranboo could have gotten along prior to chapter 26?

Did Kristen usually visit small towns when she was alive, or was it just L'manberg?

How old was BR!Niki when she met BR!Tommy's family?

What was your inspiration for the characters in BR and how they acted?

Does BR!Tommy still love BR!Micheal as a little brother, and come to think of it, does BR!Micheal love BR!Tommy in that way too?

Continuing on from my previous question, does Micheal still have Henry or is he gone?

Do you think BR!Beau and BR!Ranboo could work together and become friends after the events of chapter 26?

Why did BR!Philza like BR!Ranboo out of all the other commoner children?

Did BR!Philza know that BR!Ranboo was a slave?(I'm saying this because in Remarried Empress, Sovieshu had known Rasta was a slave all along, and I know that your fic is based on Remarried Empress)

Come to think of it, where did BR!Philza find BR!Ranboo because BR!Ranboo had lived in Esempi

Also, you don't have to answer a certain question if it'll spoil later chapters

Thank you so much for looking at my questions, considering the fact you even read this post. I think Butterfly Reign is one of (if not the) best fanfics or even stories I've ever read, and I think you're a pretty Poggers writer!

An ask! Haven't done this in a while, but I'll do my best answering your questions! :D

1. Ooooo that's an interesting one. I don't think I've ever thought of it before. In a way, you could say that Tommy did have a younger sibling in the face of Michael (who is his adoptive cousin), but I know that it wouldn't have been the same. There are many factors to how this could play out; whether Tommy is close with that sibling, or how they'd be treated by Phil and Kristin, but I think ultimately Tommy would have all the more reason to push for the crown prince status, and the main storyline would have played out the same with the exception of Tommy being either incessantly harsh towards the youngster (bad example from Phil) or borderline possessive of them in a Wilbur-like manner.

2. Yes! I think I've already speculated on an alternative universe for a scenario where Tommy gets to meet Ranboo on more peaceful terms. I think it would have been a slowburn type of friendship with Tommy learning how not to be an asshole all the time and Ranboo getting to know the ways of court – maybe through becoming Tommy’s attendant.

3. Absolutely! Br!Kristin did a lot of town visits and charity work in her days as an Empress, especially with southern towns that were the most affected by the war in Essempi... and so did Phil, but we are not going to learn about that until later.

4. I think she was anywhere from eleven to fourteen years old, I don't have a very strict timeline for that period, but the way it went was that Niki was sent to be mentored by Kristin. She was fostered in the AE to prepare her for ruling for several years, so that makes her almost a sister to Tommy, Wilbur and Techno.

5. Mostly my own family. I wouldn't call it projection per se, but prior to the start of BR we went through some rough things that made me see a new side to many of my family members – some good, some bad, all very human. BR at large is an exploration of different behaviors I observed in people around me. For example, br!Wilbur is strongly inspired by my cousin, who we were very close with at a young age, and br!Phil definitely has borrowed a lot out of my own father. And of course there were many outside sources from other fics I've read, from my favorite Webtoons and novels, and even random reddit stories I've seen and that stuck with me enough that I wanted to incorporate them into the characters.

6. Yes, Tommy definitely cares about Michael, and Michael about Tommy, but there are certain things in their backstory that make it hard for them to interact. Michael much prefers being around Tubbo because there is less negative emotional package tied to their relationship.

7. Michael still has Henry!

8. No :D

9 & 10. There is a reason for that that I cannot disclose yet.

And the last but not least, I hadn't gotten a chance to make this very clear but Ranboo used to work for Quackity in exchange for him getting him out of Esempi but ultimately ran away when he realized that he's never really gotten free. Which was not thought well though because three days layer he's barely alive in the woods when he stumbles upon Phil's carriage.

I'm really happy you're enjoying the story, and I hope this satisfies your curiosity!

[metamorph6se]

INTRODUCING: The Eras Legacy, by Taylor Swift

first and foremost, hi! i've been playing this legacy on my own by now, and actually lost what i had of the first generation because i changed saves, but i thought i should stop being a ghost here and actually post something and interact!

like i said, i lost a lot of stuff so i'll work with what i have now and explain later what i don't.

FEARLESS: Juliet McGrath

❝ in your life you'll do things greater than dating a boy on the football team, i didn't know it at fifteen ❞

straight, esfj

was the youngest child of four before her mom died, when she was just a toddler. her dad became obsessed with work after and she and her brothers were basically raised by her big sister

was kicked out after she became pregnant at fifteen by her boyfriend and next door neighbour, jesse mcgrath. she was welcome in by her big sister, abgail, who moved out for college and stayed there for the whole duration of the pregnancy, with she and her boyfriend still finishing high school,

the triplets were born and jesse worked long hours as an athlete to provide for her and the kids. after they have grown a little, she hired a nanny so she could finish university, but dropped out to pursue her career as a singer

she became a global star, moved out to del sol valley where she currently resides. she and her husband are known for their big parties and the love they have for the triplets, even if some feel as like she has a favorite daughter...

LOVE STORY: Jesse McGrath

❝ marry me, juliet, you'll never have to be alone. i love you and that's all i really know ❞

straight, esfp

was a football player most of his life, retired recently and is now a businessman.

did what he had to do to support his wife and is very devoted to her, but still feels like he was too young to marry. maybe that's why he has some issues regarding fidelity, even if he never acts on his desires.

favors johanna a lot because he feels like juliet doesn't like her as much as her other children, and as she is also an athlete, she is the one he connects with the most

likes dogs a lot

DEAR JOHN: Johanna McGrath

❝ dear John, I see it all now that you're gone. don't you think I was too young to be messed with? ❞

doesn't labels herself yet, enfj

has bpd and had several behavioral issues when she was younger, so now everyone around her has that impression that she's a super mean and agressive person, when she's not

has a lot of anger issues and a strained relationship with her sister emma because of that, culminating to the point where she destroyed emma's school project. she fought a lot with violet when they were younger too, even if now their relationship is okay

obssessed with ballet and becoming a prestigious ballerina ever since she was little, and will go to any lenghts to fulfill that goal

has a boyfriend that she loves a lot, alexander zhang. they met a party that he was invited because he's the brother of her best friend, beatrice. he was talking with her sister emma when they met, she doesn't know that he's in love with her sister, though.

INNOCENT: Violet McGrath

❝ i hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new ❞

lesbian, non binary, uses they/them pronouns

discovered themself as a pre-teen and came out, their family was very supportive, especially their sister, emma. that's why they support emma so much even when she's wrong: because emma was always there for them.

they're autistic and struggles a lot with communication and making friends. their special interests are science and pokemon.

is in love with nani kealoha and doesn't know how to tell her yet

SPEAK NOW: Emma McGrath

❝ please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you ❞

bisexual, enfp

has adhd and hiperfixates a lot on fantasy books. she dreams since whe was little of becoming a famous author. some of her favorites include red, white and royal blue, they both die at the end and the song of achilles

currently works as an influencer as a part-time job

met her best friend, alexander zhang, during a party the triplets threw when their parents were away. they were smoking weed together and laughing and she never felt that way for no one else, but she was not prepared for a relationship with anyone. that's why she introduces him to her sister, and they start hanging out, but it's nothing serious at first

during a halloween party that's thrown by her parents, she and alexander decide to go as tuxedo kamen and sailor moon together, he approaches her and they hook up. after that, he tells her that he and her sister just became boyfriend and girlfriend, and she almost throws up because she had just betrayed her sisters.

she decides to not tell her because she doesn't want to jeopardize even more her relationship with her sister when she didn't mean any harm by what she did. now she feels that she's catching feelings by alexander, and doesn't know what to do because he feels the same for her, and is only with her sister because he can't get with her.

[thetenamongstthesethrees]

TW: REFERENCE TO SH AND RELAPSE OF SH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

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Ok so ik ive been inactive for a *WHILE* and im srry for that but like i have a buncha things that happened these past 3 months that I NEED To share SOOOO....

First things first, the one im most excited abt: I DID MY FIRST PERFORMANCE!!! My school was doing little mermaid jr and I got Scuttle! I was really happy to get my first role and getting at least one solo, and Im just happy overall on how it went! I think I did really good on my first try! Only bad thing was that now im kinda going through my lil mermaid hyperfixation and have been looking up fics where Sebastian and Ariel kinda have a Father/Parental Figure-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger (stupid but ultimately well meaning) Sister dynamic and have started to write a fic on that bc no ones done it before apparently😒(im going cray cray, bonkers mayhaps)

Might've gotten my eye infected(I live in the east of the us, new york to be more specific and woke up the day after the "live vintage (BLAME CANADA/j) filter" with my right eyes nerves slightly more irritated and haven't gotten that checked out so thats fun)

FINALLY finished that one drawing ive been making for 3 MONTHS.(well, technically....)

Almost done writing my passion project, AKA the one I originally wanted to make into an animated series but have settled for a book just in case that can't happen! I still need to work out some kinks, design more outfits, get all their personalities in check, make sure the world and magic is fully fleshed out, ect.

I also do band, and while I originally thought that I would have a problem bc of both band and theatres close scheduling(i originally had dress rehearsal on june 2nd, AND my band concert on June 2nd) but it all worked out in the end! My band concert went great, and while the dress rehearsal was a mess, we at least got through it! :)

Unintentionally quit SH! I was originally only meant to stop until AFTER performances, but ive been bettering myself and learned that if I ever want to forgive myself or at least move on I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and not forget nor forgive, but remember, i just can't let it haunt me. I know I'll relapse, I always do eventually, but I want to enjoy these few moments of mental "clarity" while I can. I've also learned that for some reason i tend to become a more terrible person and despicable person the more time I spend at home with my mother, so that's fun. God, I hate America's education system, its messed me up BAD. AND the foster care system. I just tried to kms 2 times today, and she didn't even notice, or care. How sad is that?

On a lighter note, yes, as the rest of yt and TikTok, I got a minor lil hyperfixation on the Lorax and really think ppl should make more [PLATONIC] Lorax and Onceler dynamics, mainly the type where they're like some really annoying pair of bickering siblings or a father whos sick of his adopted child's shit, like there is so much on the table for platonic fluff and angst and most of what I've seen is romantic smut and fluff like CHANGE IT UP A LIL

Also, Ive been going to karaoke centers on Tuesdays and have become a lot more confident to performing in front of ppl! So far, I've performed "All You Wanna Do", "The Ballad of Jane Doe", "Heart of Stone", and am gonna do "What the World Needs" the next upcoming Tuesday, where I'm gonna try interacting with the audience while singing!!

(Also, before I end this....I may have ADHD??? my teacher who has ADHD says some of my behavior is "similar to hers"(i feel like thats just her way of saying i reek of neurodivergency) and I also did some research and I display similar/exact behaviors listed, have taken online tests from doctorate confirmed sites and basically all of them said to go get a diagnosis. I also found I do a few behaviors similar to stimming! Also also, I kinda suspect a lil more bc my mom has Autism and apparently sometimes neurodivergency is biological (i forgor the word) but my mom is kinda in denial abt my Depression diagnosis and thinks I got anxiety "biologically", so if I tell her I wanna get tested for ADHD shes just kinda gonna gaslight me into not believing that and i already told the school therapist and basically she just told me that I'm probably just imagining things or copying behaviors from my mother and that "kids like to give themselves all these titles nowadays" so I just did what I always do which is to keep it shut and act until they think you fell in line)

So yeah, thats all! Thanks for reading, now that my schedule is clear again ima start posting more frequently again, so be aware :) <3333

[fategoflatass]

So, I just watched withcindy's video about this whole scandal between BookTok and the Seattle Kraken team and... I have some things to say about all this.

Before we start I want to mention that I'll be touching upon topics such as catcalling, sexism towards men, and grown women not willing to take accountability for their actions. If you find any of these topics upsetting, I would advise you against reading this and hope you have a nice rest of your day.

We'll be talking about Kierra Lewis, a known BookTok member, also known as the woman who keeps on "humorously simping" over the members of the Seattle Kraken team.

She makes this videos with pictures of them in the background while saying things like "Why don't you assist your teammates in scoring all three of my holes?", "What's a sister gotta do to have you crack this back?" or "When you're done playing your little game go spit out that mouthpiece 'cause I got something else to put in your mouth".

Kierra also catcalls them on videos where they're warming up, saying things like "Best believe, after seeing them stretches, I'm going to every hockey practice, every game, early as hell", or "When I saw it [the video] for the first time, me and the kitty was drooling at the same time".

Far from thinking this woman was disgusting and calling her out for sexually harassing their players, the team decided to go along with it and began posting more and more videos of the players so she, and all the other women she had inspired to do such atrocious things, could keep on going. Actually, they even rewarded Kierra inviting her to one of their games and gifting her a personalised jersey.

As I just said, many other women took her as an example and began catcalling the players. Some even took it further and went into their DMs.

It was then when Felicia, one of the team's players' wife, decided to come out and defend her husband stating that "There has been videos and comments made that have crossed the line and sound pretty predatory and exploiting [···] I don't care about the comments about my husband's looks, what doesn't sit with me is when your desires come with sexual harrasment, innapropiate comments and the fact that with the internet we can normalize behavior that would never be okay if we flipped the genders around".

Kierra proceeded to "defend herself" by saying that everything she had done was for entertainment purposes, that it was a TikTok thing and, thus, it shouldn't be taken seriously. Besides, she had gotten the support from other women in these player's lives!

Now again, let's do what Felicia said and flip the genders around. Imagine this is a grown ass man excusing himself from catcalling all these female athletes simply because he "did it for the funsies". And besides, men in their lives were okay with his comments so it's a-okay for him to do whatever he wants!

It isn't funny at all, is it? People would instantly cancel him and every single person who dared support this asshole. But since it's a woman with men, well...

Why don't we just go and harass the victim's wife, shall we?

"You're trying to turn something innocent into something awful because of what's going on in your marriage"

"Imagine being so insecure in your relationship that you have to go on Instagram because YOU went public about how hot your man is, other people agreed, and you didn't like it"

These are some of the comments directed towards Felicia. As you can see, they're accusing her of being insecure about her relationship which... huh? Babe, she's just defending her partner from people who are literally sexually harassing him and his teammates. I think that's actually pretty... decent of her? Pretty human? But eh, not like you would know about ethics, am I right?

There's something that Cindy said about this that I would like to quote. She says "Maybe other people are feeling insecure about being called out for sexual harassment and, instead of being embarrased, they're projecting that onto the woman who called their shit out". YOU 👏 ARE 👏 A 👏 QUEEN 👏 BABE.

There're also other users calling her out saying that Felicia wants to be Y/N so badly, but she can't. And this is where the main problem lays: they don't see Alex (Felicia's husband) as a human being, but as the face of their preferred male protagonists in their Wattpad Y/N stories.

(Besides, Y/N always ends up being the girlfriend/wife of the hockey player. Felicia is, in fact, Alex's wife. So who are the ones who want to be Y/N so badly, but they can't?).

Eventually, the team ended up unfollowing Kierra and deleting the videos after shit got wild. The fact that they waited for so long, though... Honestly, shame on them. Whoever decided it was a good idea to support this woman's wrongdoings, you are disgusting and hope this weights in your concience.

Felicia then releases yet another statement where she mentions that "I wanted my post to be taken for what it was: a request for accountability, respect, boundaries and for people to educate themselves on sexual harrasment, consent and double stardards. It was never my intention [to directly attack Kierra]. [My problem is with] the toxic culture, the problematic following and harassing behavior. We get sent this video [where Alex is stretching] and others on a weekly, if not on a daily basis. Every game I've been to and talked to fans I get in my head about not knowing if these are genuine hockey fans or the people who comment that they masturb#te with his jersey on"

She also mentions this author who's been writing a spicy book with Alex as her inspiration like WTF? This woman was also the one who shared the video I mentioned before, and even had the guts to tag him on it. What a lovely human, isn't she?

The harassment levels were so bad Alex had to come out to defend Felicia stating that "I'm all in for BookTok to write books and fiction about hockey, but the aggresive language about real life players is too much [···] We can all take a joke and funny comments, but when it turns personal and into something bigger that affects our family, we need to tell you we have had enough".

I can only imagine the pain these two people (along with their child/ren) must have been going through just because a bunch of grown ass women cannot accept the fact they're in the wrong thinking that since, and only since, Alex's team is a masculine one, any sort of sexual harassment towards them gets invalidaded.

And that is my main complain with all this shit; double standards and the team players being treated as objects simply because these women have had only considered them as the face of their preferred love interest in whichever Y/N or OC story they've reading or writing.

It's okay if you thirst over fictional characters and whatnot, but it's different when the object of your desires is a real life person. You should then have in mind that they're a breathing human being who has a life, friends, family and even partners. And even if they don't, they'll always have the right to deny consent or to give it and then revoke it whenever they feel like it. And so do the people who surround them.

You have no right to call out Felicia because she was okay with people calling her husband handsome and she now complains about yall's disgusting behavior. Just get down of your high horses and take the fucking accountability y'all been needing for a long ass time.

TL;DR: Have empathy and don't be a perverted fuck. Period.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

The mother of one of my difficult kids sent me roses today. I swear if every kid that gave me a hard time sent me flowers my room would look like a funeral parlor! While I would have been happier with a Year's worth of Decent Behavior it was a pretty nice thing to do and literally the first time that has ever happened. Plus a former student and her little sister who is hoping to be a future student s are taking me out to lunch on saturday. Both of them are pretty amazing kids. The older sister was part of the first class I ever taught at this school. The little sister is in fourth grade and just absolutely adores me for some reason. She is my shadow. And she is the smartest little thing. For her gifted and talented project this year she opted to interview me about my life and what it was like to be a teacher. And I'm such a big ham, it was just a really fun thing.

And I'll be damned if they didn't finally fix my air conditioning. This is probably the first truly good day I have had . . . quite possibly in the entire year.

[atashamariel]

"Fun Break"

Good day everyone! Today, I'll be sharing to you, my personal recounts during the semestral break. But before that, please bear in mind that this content only covers my own experience or opinion. Semestral break is one of the most awaited and exciting vacation that a student is waiting for. As a grade 7 student like me, I really love a vacation like semestral break, even though it is only or it only contains a short period of time. It is one of the most awaited part of us as a student hence, it is the time to relax, hang out, travel, to do whatever we want, and most especially, spent time with my mother, sister, cousins, my grandmother and my grandfather. I always wish for a vacation like this hence, we are free from our school works, activities, quizzes projects, and even in our assignments. I spent most of the days of my semestral break with my family and through socialmedia. I also did household chores to help

my mother clean our house, wash the dishes, wash our clothes and etc. During the break, one thing I spent most my time was scrolling through social media like TikTok, Facebook and YouTube. It really helped me a lot specially my mental health for the reason that I have been sad/ exhausted for the past few days due to pressure in accomplishing lots of activities. I and my sister also had time for playing, chatting, laughing, eating together, helping her with her homework and reviewing her in her upcoming exam that week. I only have one sibling. We both grew up and spent the most of the time with each other. I think I've always known that I was a little different from my sister, but it's okay for we are different in many ways. Sibling can significantly impact one's mental health. Strong sibling bonds can provide emotional support, reduce feeling of loneliness and foster a sense of belonging, contributing toimproved mental health. Conversely,

negative sibling interactions, such as

bullying or neglecting, can lead to mental

issues like depression or anxiety. First born

like me are often burdened with more

responsibilities that may develop leadership

skills and a higher level of

conscientiousness. Sibling play a role in

shaping our lives. They contribute to our

personal development, provide emotional

support and influence our behaviors,

attitudes and aspirations. Sibling

relationships can be complex and

challenging; they are also a source of

learning, growth and companionship.

Having a bond with my cousins also feels

like bonding with my sibling, sometimes

like friends, and most of the time, they are

someone in between these two. And yes,

they can be strong competitors and in

extreme cases foes too! But the most

important thing of all, we share common

ancestry and history. Whatever the status ofour bond with them may be, they are

inevitable part our our lives, adding all the

flavours of spice to it and making it more

enjoyable. Cousins may not be as important

as a sibling does to our lives, but the

knowledge that can connect with them as

much as whenever we want to brings them

closer. We can freely discuss our problems

with them as they will always lend a

sympathetic ear and are ready with some

good advice.

Cherish your cousins, that will

be the one of the sincerest friends you can

ever have an the bond with them wouldn't

get weak with time and distance. I also had

time to visit my principal.

Our previous

school is one of the most memorable thing

for all of us. Since, it reminds us of all the

joys we had to go through, it reminds us our

friends and most importantly, teachers. My

Lola Daling also invited me to go on a trip

to Manila to visit my favorite tita who is

currently working there as an Engineer at

Civil Aviation Authority of the Philippines. Iand my Lola took a bus going there. It took

us hours to get to Manila. When we arrived

Manila, my aunt fetched us. We stayed at

her apartment at Sampaloc, Manila. We

visited the Minor Basilica and National

Shrine of Jesus Nazarene, popularly known

as Quiapo Church. Every Friday of the

month, thousands of Catholic devotees may

be seen inside the church edging forward

on their knees towards the crucifix, praying

a favor, for a forgiveness. It is one of my

blessed experienced that happened in my

semestral break. It was full of fun as we

spent together. I, my Lola and my tita

always had a foodtrip. I experienced eating

at a Chinese and Japanese restaurant. The

foods and drinks was so delicious. We also

went to different places like in China Town,

Binondo, Divisoria, Makati and Alabang. I

did a lot of bonding time with my Lola and

tita during my vacation in Manila. It was the

best travel and experience ever! Spending

my time with my Lola and tita is very fun.Not only do they spill pearls of wisdom, but

also fills my life with abundance love and

care. The feeling of being around with them

cannot be described by words. The love and

affection shed by my aunt and Lola is

unmatched.

They are my best buddies when

it comes to having unlimited fun. While my

mother tries to provide all she can for us,

my growth is incomplete without my

grandparents and aunties. And that is how I

spent my semestral break and I am very

thankful to God for this break, thus, it was

so relaxing, memorable and enjoyable for

me. I am so blessed that I got to experience

all of this. I learned a lot and hoping that my

next semestral breaks would be more fun,

exciting, fruitful and enjoyable. That is all I

want to share. Thank you!

Submitted to: Ma'am Maryrose Licco Lopez - English Teacher of the Regional Science High School for Region 2

Submitted by: Allaiza Vhalen C. Guzman

Grade 7 - Emerald

[we-dragons]

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 5 Damian x reader

Pulled away to another world, Y/N uses magic science and a Little bird to help her get back home and possibly be rid of an apocalyptic event. "So, will you succumb to your doubts completely or step into the sun of this new world?"

" A few days, but I didn't expect the entire week, thank god for Molly." The emotional stress I had felt in the beginning influenced the behavior of the scales on my skin it took more hot water and hydrogen peroxide than I had originally would have needed. Even after all that, my skin was turned ashen and my breath was so shallow that Nightmare could lap from it as if it was his water bowl. The scales I have removed were not ready for healing uses yet, at least not for another three days. Nightmare had remained at my side barely even moving from his spot curled up on the pillow next to mine, the only time he moved is when Molly came over. Molly would drop off the homework, she told me she took the written project to Damian and he was ready to deliver it when it was due in 10 days from now. Molly would come by every day at 4, made sure I and Nightmare ate and rested well, told me about herself self and left. And I thank god I'm feeling better after all of that.

Today was Friday and I still wasn't feeling the best even after she left, Nightmare crawled up onto my lap while I had sat on the couch watching the news. I never liked watching the news but considering that I had an unexpected visitor I had hoped to find out more. I'm not disappointed, Vigilanties that appear in Gotham with the exception of Nightwing who occasionally visited from Blüdhaven the sister city of Gotham, and the character Red Hood an anti-hero who fights for his own needs, he arrived in Gotham a few years ago and became a crime fighter. Then there were the other three, Red robin seen with the dynamic duo Batman and Robin, seen all over Gotham. All of them well known and on the news constantly in a large group even that fight bad guys of all sorts a from a clown, to plant creatures and more.

"Wow their just like them." I feel a wave of nostalgia float over me, I remember what it was like at home. In Minnesota. With the tall evergreens and the marvelous lilacs that mom would grow in our backyard, my family, and friends. Everything at least before all the drama in New York happened. "Dear God, I'm becoming an over-sentimental sad sack I can't think of them now, not yet." I get up from my seat to head to the kitchen Nightmare jumping off me when I hear a knock from my balcony. I continue my walk to the kitchen to peer out at it, I didn't see anything there even so I open it. Nightmare runs out before me hissing at something on the left.

"Nightmare what are you-Oh...." Robin stares at me from the railing of the balcony. He's leaning back on it a scornful look upon his face. Confusion settles in me as I just stare at him.

"Are you sick?" He asks walking to me while doing so.

"Y-yeah I was out too long in the rain." He stops just in front of me.

"Don't you bring an umbrella with you?"

"Not that day," I clear my throat a little. "why are you here?" He pauses as if coming up with the reason shocks even himself. He arches his arm back behind his back, slowly moving his arm out.

"My box! So you did take it," I exclaim grabbing the box tenderly opeining the lid, I smile sadly looking at the glinting scales inside the box. " did they help you." I look back up, his faces move to confusion.

"I stole them from you and you're asking me if they helped me?"

"Well, you also needed it more than me, and I can see it did wonders. Your up and running again." I start hacking for a strait minute and grab onto the railing. I look up to the door moving to pick up Nightmare. "Would you like to come in for some tea," NIghtmare squirms in my arms jumping out when I enter the kitchen from the balcony. I open the cupboard and pull out the only three kinds of tea I have, setting aside the box with the X on it. "There's peppermint, cinnamon chai, and pumpkin if your interested." He stares at me from the entryway.

"No thank you," He says " I need to leave, I wasn't supposed to be here anyway." I set the pot on the stove anyway and pull out the pumpkin tea and my favorite mug with Arab henna designs decorating even the inside. I look back to the outside, he is still standing in the entryway shifting uncomfortably.

"You Know, the fact that you haven't left yet contradicts your own words, Robin." I pour the hot water over my tea while I wait for him to answer. He stirs slightly moving back and forth on his feet.

"I'll come back tomorrow," I spit out my tea.

"What didn't you say you weren't supposed to be here?"

He shrugs pulling a grappling hook from his belt and swang off. If I wasn't feeling so sick and had just spat out some tea causing me to cough some more, I would have gone after him. I just stared out through the night air as the familiar feeling of dread washed over me, I close the door to the outside and look at the box. NIghtmare gave me a look moving the box and pawing the X on the top.

"We can't call him yet, didn't you hear, their back. If I call him now it compromises everything they have worked for," I pick up the box and move over to the couch, Nightmare followed suit, we both laid down, me clutching the box. "We can't do anything yet anyway, it violates the treaty. We have to wait for the first kill."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

True to his word he came back, he arrived sometime after Molly left, I don't know exactly when he arrived but I know it wasn't long. It was 2 pm when Molly forced meds in my mouth and put me to sleep. It was 2:40 when I heard him clatter in my kitchen nearly killing him with the broom. He was making tea he brought, he told me that he said it works for sore throats, even though it's just lemon juice, water, and honey.

" You realize this is twice you have broken and entered into my home right?" He tsked crossing his arms from his where he is seated across from me.

"The first time was not on purpose."

"I mean you did break my window."

"I crashed through it."

"Pretty sure that there was broken glass I had to pull out of you and sweep off my floor." I laugh for a little bit while he grunts in his seat in front of me.

"Hey why are you here anyway, You dropped off my box, you're healed up why are you back?"

He moves forward resting his arms on the table. "what do you know about the Crows?"

My mug shatters the pieces scattered on the floor, my hands are shaking and that feeling of dread washes over me again.

"Oops sorry, my hands must have slipped even as I'm feeling better I see I didn't recover all my strength, haha..." I stand up to get the broom.

"They killed three people that day," I froze turning to Nightmare who was resting on the counter, his ears are folded back, his hair also standing on end." six were maimed they were monsters that said their names in the third person. They said they are looking for 'the scaled one' and I believe they are looking for you." The air becomes cold around us to a literal point where I can see my breath.

"They drew first blood," The words finally sink in my fears had manifested themselves, I know that I should have guessed it when I saw him but I had hoped they weren't going to be in physical form yet. I rush to my closet pull another box out from the top, a black box big enough to hold a dress, bearing the same markings as the smaller one. I bring it to the table Robin and I are seated at and set it down pulling off the top.

"How much do you know about The Crows already?" I begin pulling out the things inside one by one, recalling their names and what they are for, looking for my com piece.

"That's what I'm asking you, what is all this?"

"They come from an interdimensional planetary void, The Crow where once a proud and advance society until the gave up their freedom for more knowledge, Jal-sein holds their control now. They are dangerous and they are after the very thing that nearly killed everyone on my earth. Ah! Found it!" I move to my living room pushing away my coffee table setting it on the ground making sure there is enough space. Robin had moved up from the kitchen a worried look set on his face.

"What is Jal-sein? What is this other earth aren't you from Minnesota?"

"Yep but here's the thing," I press the silver X on the com and it starts calling, lights flicker in the room from the device as the figure forms."I'm from another dimension actually."

The figure in the holographic com finalizes and I smile at the old man I see.

"Hello Y/N, I suppose they have found you then? It good to see you even in such circumstances?" His voice is grim and shallow, he sounds older than usual and his head is covered with a silver helmet with tubes coming from it.

"Yes, they have, It"s good to see you, Professor X."

[kickthecan-revolution]

My brother and sister are doing a really incredible job finding my dad a place to be. And? I don't feel anything relating to this situation with exception of some relief and some sadness for my dad, but that's it. I don't feel guilty that they are doing all of the work, nor do I feel any need to rush up there. My sister in a panic this morning was second-guessing the decision, wondering if she should just go down and help more, that he's going to feel "dropped and abandoned" if he moves into assisted living. I didn't call her but I did text - I reminded her that she often says she's going to go down and then she doesn't, as their abusive behavior triggers her (and then we're stuck, but I didn't say that part out loud). That dad said prior to falling that he wanted to go somewhere and that he barely has cognition - and most of all, he's not safe. To stop projecting and imagining what he's feeling because none of us can, and it's going to be hard but not for us - for him. I felt pretty calm and steady and she snapped out of it.

My mom also needs some kind of emergency pacemaker consult as soon as possible - she refused to go the last time. My sister is dealing with that.

I continue to be just flat exhausted. It occurred to me that might be happening because I am starting to come to grips with what life has been like the last four years dealing with them. The near-constant drama and exhausting energy, one drama to the next, flying up every other week to take care of my mom, the constant stress of the bills. Plus the Clocktower and Buddy then all that's been in-between - I won't even mention work. I've just kept it moving and in hindsight, it is incredible that I was able to do that for that long, through that kind of stress, but I think my panic attack a few weeks ago was the beginning of what is likely, a very necessary little breakdown. I could sleep for days and days and days - I took a long nap today and am about to do so again before I go to bed. I am worried about a presentation that Ive not started a week from tomorrow, I'll need an outline for my boss by Friday.

I think I am beginning to realize that if he goes into assisted living and we find a place for my mom, the pressure of keeping them in that house with all of these bills and 22K property tax a year (which is just not imaginable) might be gone. This might be easier.

I keep telling myself to slow down - slow my walk down, slow my mind down, be gentle gentle gentle. Eat to feed my body, not to feed my fear or fill my emotional and mental well. It's working. During a break, I drove to my new place to just look at all of the baby lemons on my tree. I hope a few make it.

I don't want to be afraid anymore. Nothing has the power to make me afraid without my consent.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Dangerous Love (Pt. 13 of 13)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader

Word count: 1.7 K

Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?

<- Previous part (12)

{Justice League - DC Masterlist}

×

Freedom

“Bruce! I'm back!” You yell as you push the door closed with your back, carrying the two bags from the supermarket. Alfred is driving the car to the garage. Today was the fourth time you went out all by yourself. Alfred has to drive since you still can't take your license, but you feel like you're doing well. He stays in the car while you buy the stuff you want, and it's actually good to be out there, with the people. “I met this sweet lady on the line and she was so cute. She told me about her grandson who's starting in the kinder garden this year.” You follow the sound of his voice coming from the living room, leaving the bags on the table at the main hall and making your way there. “She–”

The words get stuck on your throat when you see he's not alone. Amanda Waller and the other five people responsible for Belle Reve are here. You're frozen, busted because you don't know if they should know about all the freedom you're having. You look at Bruce, searching for any signs of what to do. His expression is calm, light, and he reaches out his hand. “Come here, sweetheart.” He says, and you take a few seconds to find your legs, making your way over him, taking his hand, noticing how yours are shaking.

“Is everything alright?” You whisper to him.

“I see Havoc is already allowed out. And apparently without your supervision.” One of the men speaks, his angry eyes on you. This one wants you back in your cell, being beaten up.

“She is. (Y/N) is adapting wonderfully well.” Bruce says. “This is not the first time she goes out without me, and there hasn't been any kind of incident.”

“I couldn't help but notice you engaged in a romantic relationship with her,” Amanda states, reading something on her tablet. “The rest of the world didn't recognize her, but we did. You've been seen with her in... Three different galas.”

“I'm well aware of the contract we both signed, Amanda. I made it. And a romantic relationship wasn't mentioned, which means it wasn't forbidden.” You hold tight on his arm as he speaks. “And yes, I've been to some parties with her, I believe you saw us on the news.”

“I don't need you to tell me about the contract, Bruce. I read it. And honestly, I couldn't care less about who you want to put in your bed.” She mumbles, typing something down. “Let's make it quick, Bruce. We're here for a reason, but Havoc isn't the only criminal we have to deal with.”

“Her name is (Y/N). And soon enough you won't have to deal with her anymore.” Bruce turns to you, placing a kiss on your lips. “I need you to wait upstairs, my love. You can't be present while we discuss this.”

Nodding, you give them one last look before walking away.

But you can't go to your room. You're too scared now. What if you lose what you have here? Your life with Bruce... If you're thrown back in Belle Reve... You can't handle it anymore, you'll die. Inside first, until your body gives up. So you move downstairs, a few steps so the wall is hiding you, sitting down and paying attention, trying to bring sense to their words.

“Mr. Wayne, eight months ago you took in one of Belle Reve's intern, (Y/N) Quinzel, also known as Havoc, to test a project of your creation. In which you tried to rehabilitate her, so that she could have a life out of her criminal actions, being able to be fully reintroduced into life in society.” The man speaks slow, and by the looks of it, they must be recording it. “Do you believe your project succeded?”

“Yes.” Bruce answers.

“Do you believe (Y/N) could be released to live among other people without causing any kind of harm, stealing, killing, torturing, or any other dangerous behavior?”

“Yes.”

“Are you aware that the condition for her release is you being completely responsible for her actions from now on?”

“Yes, I am.”

“It will be like a damn marriage, Wayne.” Someone says, and your heart stops. “Anything she does, she steals a freaking pencil, you'll have to answer for it. You'll be bound for life.”

“Good,” Bruce mumbles, and you hear some laughs.

“For goodness sake, Wayne. I get that you want to have fun with her. The girl is insane but pretty, I'm not blind. But–”

“I'm not having fun with her. And you will watch your tongue before talking about (Y/N) again.” A smile comes to your lips, and you cover your mouth with a hand. Every passing day you're more and more sure that Bruce is going serious with you. That he has a goal with your relationship, but it still warms your heart when he says something like that.

“Whatever you want, Bruce Wayne,” Amanda mutters. “I will need you to sign here. And your fingerprints.”

A silence falls, and everything you hear is your heartbeat. Bruce told you he was starting the last procedures to set you free once and for all, but you didn't think it would happen so fast. Guess he did had everything under control after all.

Your mind suddenly floats back to when you first got here, when you tried to run, when you attacked him so brutally. Back then, on the first days, you never thought you'd fall for him. And it took a while for you to even allow yourself to. Bruce, being Batman, the hero, could never have feelings for you. And it's true that the signs where there, when he touched you, or when he went to your room to dance with you, leaving the party behind... But you were so scared back then... That you'd have your heart broken for the very first time.

But it had a happy ending. An ending you know you don't deserve. You want to be with Bruce, you want the life you have now, to go to college next month, study and become a nurse. Find a job and... The rest you don't know. But you know it'll be good.

“Go get the girl. I need her fingerprints too.” Amanda speaks up.

You hear his footsteps as they grow closer. You stand up when you see him on the bottom of the stairs, waiting until he reaches you.

“Did you hear it?”

You nod, letting yourself fall into his embrace when he opens his arms. “I don't want to see any of them ever again.”

“You won't, I promise.”

“Bruce... A-are you sure you'll sign that thing? I heard what they said.”

“Hey...” He pulls away, just enough to look into your eyes. “I already signed and I don't regret it. This is the last step, (Y/N), don't let them get to your head.”

“Okay,” you mumble, tiptoeing to kiss him.

Bruce guides you back to the living room, and you try to keep your head up, fearless.

“Havoc. Put both your hands here.” Amanda says, her voice filled with anger and disgust. She doesn't want to release you, but she has no choice. Nodding, you place both hands on her tablet. You watch as the screen reads all your ten fingerprints, and your picture appears on the top. Then, a green X covers it, blinking, and then everything is gone. And now, with your hand still on it, the screen shows up a few dots, and the word ‘searching’. “It's done, Havoc. But don't you ever come back under my jurisdiction again... I won't give you any other chance. Even if another Kryptonian comes from the sky demanding for it.”

“(Y/N).” you simply say, stepping back until you're by Bruce's side.

“Of course.” She mutters. “Well, I believe this is it. Mr. Wayne, I believe we're done here.”

“You may now kiss the bride, Wayne.” A man says, and two others laugh with him. You sink a little, stepping back, letting Bruce's shoulder hide you.

“You won't get an invitation Mr. Rochford, but I'm sure you'll know about it on the news,” Bruce says and the men immediately shut up. “I must ask you to leave now. Our business is over. For good.”

“I wish you luck, Mr. Wayne.” Amanda Waller reaches out her hand and Bruce shakes it.

You stand there, watching them leave. It's ridiculous, but you feel like your chains are falling off. All the terror, the infinite days and neverending nights in that hell are over. You still don't like thinking about it, and remembering is painful, but you're glad that's what it is now: a memory. A distant, faded memory. Some scars will accompany you for the rest of your life, even though Bruce has you under some esthetic treatments to get rid of most of them. But you're ok with that, with the ones that will stick around. They'll be a different kind of badge now, a prove that you crawled out of that nightmare, and despite needing a little push, you did some of the work too.

“Why are you crying, my love?” Bruce asks when he comes back, but you haven't noticed the tears rolling down.

“It's nothing, I just... I'm happy. Truly, wholeheartedly happy, I...” He pulls you into his arms, holding you tight. “I love you so damn much, Bruce, but... I guess I love me too. Who I am now, who I want to become.”

“Whatever happens now, (Y/N), it's up to us. To you. You can make your own decisions, and I'll be here to support you.”

“I know, babe.” Pulling away, you jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Life starts now, and... I want you in it.”

“Me too, sweetheart. That's why I had no trouble sighing that contract.” His eyes get darker, and you furrow your eyebrows.

“What is it, Bruce?” He's dead serious, bouncing you up to have a better grip.

“Marry me.”

Your heart stops, as the answer slides down your tongue. Enough with the nightmares. This life is way better than any dream you couldbever have.

×

@fionanovasleftnut @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21 @agustdpeach @yaakimoon2 @chloe-skywalker @rosalynshields

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/4/2020: SOCIETY

Without having a survey to back me up, I feel comfortable asserting that as a horror fan, you go through different phases with SOCIETY. It’s a basic fact of life, and yet it morphs and mutates underneath you, shocking you anew just when you think you’ve got a grip on it. You never forget your first time, because there is simply nothing like it. Then, after you get over the initial shock of its patented brand of body horror, you start to take it for granted; it's so broad and monolithic that it becomes something like the Grand Canyon--when it’s not right there in front of you, you begin to experience it more iconically, as part of the wallpaper of existence, rather than an in-your-face confrontation with the limits of experience. Then, you revisit it every few years (or months, depending on what sort of person you are), and the prophylactic layer that your brain has wrapped around your memories of it--the one that allows you to think of SOCIETY as a fun, wacky cheap thrill--begins to crumble, and you realize all over again how iconoclastically vile it is. Wherever you happen to be at, with this inimitable genre landmark, you'd be hard pressed to deny that it earns its royal status among horror movies, just for being so uniquely fucked up.

Filmmaker Brian Yuzna is best known as the co-creator of the indispensable RE-ANIMATOR (or as the co-writer of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS...depending on what sort of person you are, again), itself a milestone achievement in the blending of sex and gore that so characterized '80s horror production. That film clearly brought out the best in Yuzna and frequent collaborator Stuart Gordon (also of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS fame...among other things), but it's interesting to see how they operate apart, to understand the unique ingredients that each filmmaker brought to the more perfect union of their classic Lovecraft adaptation. Gordon skewed darker and more intellectual, as evidenced by the end of his career with the shattering mob thriller KING OF THE ANTS, the disturbing true crime drama STUCK, and the Mamet-penned EDMOND. Yuzna, for his part, is almost anti-intellectual, preferring to cook up blackly comic, semi-pornographic nightmares like his two increasingly horny RE-ANIMATOR sequels, the terminal S&M fantasy RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3, and the shamelessly hokey comic book adaptation FAUST: LOVE OF THE DAMNED. Yuzna's lack of shame is really his defining feature as an artist, and nowhere is this more obvious than in his directorial debut and signature masterpiece, SOCIETY.

Salvador Dali's "The Great Masturbator," a chief visual inspiration for SOCIETY.

Yuzna was able to leverage the success of RE-ANIMATOR to lock in two directorial opportunities, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR, and a bizarre body horror exercise about a Beverly Hills orphan who discovers that not only are his adoptive family from a different bloodline, but they're not even from the same species. That both pictures employed the writing team of Woody Keith and Rick Fry gives you a little taste of what to expect from SOCIETY, but to be frank, the latter threatens to make the former look like a very special episode of ER; "overkill" barely begins to describe SOCIETY’s ambitious assault on the human body. In a recent interview, the philipino-american director giggles perversely, "I think my friends were a little embarrassed for me (when they saw SOCIETY)," and this sound bite reminded me that the last, most important ingredient that Yuzna contributes to any project is unabashed joy. It's a little hard to imagine stomaching SOCIETY without it.

In this unusual scene from the class struggle in Beverly Hills, Billy Warlock (son of HALLOWEEN 2's Michael Myers, Dick Warlock) plays Bill Whitney, a rich, handsome, athletic high school student with a heavy duty anxiety disorder. Although he appears to have it all, he is plagued by nightmares and hallucinations, reflecting suspicions that the family that spoils him is also out to get him. Perhaps this is all understandable, though. Bill is under a lot of pressure these days, with his parents devoting all of their attention to his sister's coming out party, and his narcissistic girlfriend pushing him to ingratiate himself to the assholes higher up the social ladder; it's enough to make any teenager feel alienated and insecure. But, do these garden variety anxieties account for his visions of his sister's body deforming itself unnaturally, or the dubious evidence he finds that her debutante ball involves incestuous orgies and human sacrifice? Is Bill simply crumbling under the strain of societal expectations, or is the friction with his shrink, his parents, and his peers all symptomatic of an elaborate plot against him by elites who are truly less than human?

I can’t believe they use this cheapo blanket trick MORE THAN ONCE in a movie that is famous for its unforgettable special effects, and I guess I kind of love it.

In case I haven't made the answer abundantly obvious, I'll add that while SOCIETY is the purest expression of Yuzna-ness on the market, it has an important co-author in Screaming Mad George. The eccentric japanese FX master, whose name is apparently an amalgamation of Mad Magazine, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and...George, has produced some of horror's most outrageous makeup and visual effects, mostly for Yuzna, many of them in SOCIETY. If you've seen even a trailer for Alex Winter's 1993 oddity FREAKED--which is itself a grossout criticism of American social standards--then you are already familiar with SMG's trademark style. He specializes in twisted perversions of the human form that would make a cenobite blush, driven by a penchant for puns, and influenced equally by THE THING's Rob Botin, and Big Daddy Roth’s Rat Fink style. Screaming Mad George is instrumental in articulating Yuzna's premise: that behind the shimmering veneer of success and sophistication, the upper class are just a bunch of degenerates, who literally degenerate into something unimaginable behind closed doors. It's impossible to imagine SOCIETY without his sinuous, slithering monstrosities, or his indescribable realization of their most important social event, "the shunt".

One of many great images from a zine I wish I owned, on SMG’s Facebook page.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by SOCIETY's visual impact, but its message is just as potent now as it was at the end of the Reagan era: Rich people are not only different from the rest of us, but in fact, they aren't even human. Writers Keith and Fry make an interesting choice of hero to help put this across. A lazier writer would have selected any archetype from the Freaks and Geeks set to create an easy Us vs Them tension, but SOCIETY is led by a promising young man who, for reasons he himself does not yet understand, is just not "the right kind of people". Bill appears to have every advantage in life, including a level of popularity that wins him presidency of the debate team despite his nerdier rival’s superior prowess--and yet, he suffers from a stigmatizing psychiatric disorder that is the natural result of feeling indefinably different from one's peers, and intuiting that, as a consequence, they don't even really like you. The shallow jock with deep-seated emotional problems is a much more interesting protagonist for this kind of social allegory than the charismatic outcasts that you get in movies like THE FACULTY and DISTURBING BEHAVIOR, for whom the idea that the elites could be aliens is just de rigueur.

It's worth noting that this complexity of character extends to Bill's love interest, sympathetic society girl Clarissa Carlyn (Playboy Playmate Devin DeVasquez). At first, she seems villainously eager to introduce Bill to the many splendors of "the shunting", but as the plot against him mounts to its horrifying conclusion, she defects. There appears to be a reason for this, although honestly, this is the most difficult part of SOCIETY for me to wrap my head around. Clarissa lives as an essentially independent adult, only burdened by her mother (Pamela Matheson), a possibly brain damaged hulk who lurks in and out of various scenes just to be disturbing, always announced by some toots on a tuba, before eventually siding with our heroes. I'm really not sure what's supposed to be going on in this part of the movie, except that this character contributes to a number of distasteful jokes. But, I hold on to the idea that by virtue of whatever disorder Mrs. Carlyn suffers from, she serves the purpose of priming Clarissa to rebel, since her very existence makes her daughter something of a societal outcast herself. That's the best I can do.

In any case, everyone working on SOCIETY commits completely, with Mrs. Carlyn being no exception. The movie's climactic orgy of the damned is an all hands on deck operation, just as reliant on Screaming Mad George's artistic abilities as it is on the actors' responsibility to make you believe that this fucked up shit is really happening. There's a visceral patina of sleaze spread over the entire film, dripping from the way that characters talk to and touch each other, flirting and flaunting their bodies in a distinctly unseemly fashion, even when it stays within the realm of mundane reality. This constant sinister, insinuating attitude on the part of the whole cast lays the foundation for what is to come, and while I appreciate everybody's hard work, my favorite performance is from an actor who only comes in at the very end: David Wiley as society king Judge Carter. Wiley's career consisted almost exclusively of the most ordinary sort of television work, which makes his outrageous turn in this alien porno flick all the more respectable. While other characters transition from suspicious pod people to full-on mutated perverts, Judge Carter has to show up just for the finale, establish his authority, rip off his clothes, and plunge straight into a sea of slime, happily fisting his way through the cast. Wiley meets this challenge with aplomb, making of himself a hybrid of Robert Englund and Gene Hackman, perfectly embodying the movie's joyful absurdity, and never betraying the slightest hint of embarrassment. 

SOCIETY is very much a don't-look-down type of endeavor, a fairy that could expire at the slightest lapse in faith. There's a visual pun in the last act that's so gross, so offensive, so frankly idiotic, that I don't have the courage to describe it; my whole body tenses up when I know this scene is coming, as if it were the meat hook scene in TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE or the brutal rape in the middle of SHOWGIRLS. I don't like it, but at the same time, I respect Yuzna's unhesitating commitment to show it to me, and I think that actor Charles Lucia should get some kind of award for shouldering the burden so valiantly. SOCIETY is a daring movie in the truest sense, a film with more balls than brains, and in this it exposes the limitation of intelligence and taste, and the real need for pure transgression, in producing art of any real value. You might argue with me about whether Yuzna's masturbatory magnum opus really qualifies as art, but to respond to that, I'll quote the great transgressor Alejandro Jodorowsky: "If you are great, EL TOPO is a great picture. If you are limited, EL TOPO is limited." So stick that in your shunt and smoke it.

PS Here, have this stuck in your head for the rest of your life.

[bisluthq]

I'm Black & Asian (South), and speaking ONLY for myself here and for no one else, I have forgiven Camila for those Tumblr reblogs.

While age doesn't excuse ignorant behavior, and the adults around kids absolutely have a responsibility to teach them that any kind of discriminatory jokes or language is NOT okay at all, it does make a difference to me that she was 14 when she reblogged those racist "jokes".

If she'd been like 17 or 18, I would have been like... Nah, fuck that.

And if the stuff had been recent, then I would basically hate her. But it was from 2011-2012 which was almost an entire decade ago now.

I was actually kinda pissed at her for like a whole year though. I didn't really know much about her back then, but I just heard about that, and so I was just like, "Ugh, I don't like her." And like I had this real distaste for her.

But I have forgiven her now. For me, another thing that made me forgive her was when I found out that some of the claims that people were spreading around online weren't actually true.

Like I'd been told that she'd had an "entire blog dedicated to racism" because that's what some people on Stan Twitter were saying, and so I was like, "Fucking yikes 😬"

But then I found out recently that it was actually a regular personal/fan blog that she'd had from ages 13 to early 15 and that it was mostly just made up of regular content and that there'd been about 8 racist "jokes" reblogged in total during that time.

And again, that still doesn't excuse it, and I still think that 14 year old Camila was an ignorant idiot and somebody that I absolutely would NOT have vibed with at all. But if the "entire blog dedicated to racism" claim had turned out to be true, I would never have forgiven her tbh. Even if she was 14.

But when I found out that that claim wasn't true, it did affect my opinion a lot. Because to me, reblogging 8 racist "jokes" (and I'm saying "jokes" in quotes because I don't think that racist jokes should be considered humor at all because they're really not funny at all and are just stupid and annoying) is very different to me than running an entire racist blog which is what some stans had been saying.

I'd say I'm like a casual fan of her now. Definitely not a stan (I'm not invested in her enough to stan her, and also, Shawmila kinda annoys me), but I do follow her on Instagram and listen to some of her music, and I know more about her than I did before.

I do think she's seemed to show a lot of growth and change over the last decade. And I've seen a lot of actual Black people that know her or that have met her in real life saying she's a kind person and that she's changed, so I'm taking their word for it too.

But again, only speaking for myself here. Out of my family: My dad likes some of her music (mainly Havana) and has forgiven her. My mum has forgiven her, but she hates her lmao (but not for the Tumblr stuff, just because she finds her annoying which is fair tbh 💀). Two of my sisters have forgiven her and are like very casual fans of her, but one of my sisters HATES her and always calls her racist, and that's fine imo. POC aren't a monolith. We have different opinions, and it's weird when white people expect us all to have the same opinions on things as if we're a hive mind or something.

My brother doesn't really care about her either way. Like he doesn't have an opinion at all.

And her new project, I do think the intentions behind it are mostly genuine considering that it's specifically focused on mental health support towards activists working for grassroots organisations that are led by and focused on POC, and Camila's been advocating for mental health for several years.

But even if it's not genuine, I don't really care tbh because this is something that's going to do ACTUAL good either way. Like when celebrities write their like social justice Instagram captions and stuff, I'm like, "...Okay, cool, this is fine and all, but please actually open your wallet 🤦‍♀️"

And so I'm glad that Camila's actually investing a lot of money into this project that will actually directly help people and do good, and I'm glad that she's been promoting these grassroots organisations on Instagram and handing her account over to them because really, who cares about what she has to say? I mean, she absolutely should have apologised, and I'm glad she did, but in the end, words are just words. So, I'm glad that she's actually putting in real effort and doing something that will actually effect real change in local communities.

So yeah, I've forgiven her, and I don't think she's racist. But again, that's just my opinion, and other POC (like my sister) are allowed to dislike her and be wary of her. And it annoys me when white stans act like we HAVE to forgive her because we don't. But I do think that she's a decent person personally, and I do like her for the most part.

I just really hope that she continues this project and keeps it going. If she drops it next year, I will be disappointed, and I'll probably stop being a fan tbh. She has to carry it on because it's important work, and she does kind of owe it to us since she wasn't exactly the best ally as a teenager :/

But yeah, I'm good with her now. I do find her personality a little bit too extra for my liking, but I don't think she's a bad person or anything, just slightly annoying sometimes. I don't like it when girls scream or like act over the top, but besides that, I think she's fine tbh.

This is really thoughtful thanks for sharing.

[bleucolor]

Last time I tried to post a giyushino fanfic and since i navigate myself through Tumblr like a boomer, I accidentally deleted my story. I felt like a whole ass clown but I'm feeling hopeful and I'm back with another prompt using the moon. This takes place in a modern AU where both Giyuu and Shinobu are teenagers. A random drabble for Giyushino which was inspired by being quarantined at home. Hope y'all enjoy and please do send some love 🥺👉👈

Moonlight and Sunrise

Giyuu and Shinobu were friends, however this fact was quite shocking to others due to their Light and Day personas. Tomioka Giyuu was a loner, he had like maybe 2 solid friends being Sabito and Makomo and the others were at max labeled as acquaintances. Shinobu wasn't the most popular one at their highschool but she was well known. She would always be seen alongside her two best friends, Sanemi the oversized delinquent who'd actually bite your head clear off and Uzui the player; who'd get girls left and right. With attention at both sides of the bay it'd be obvious that Shinobu would be well known around their school, being head of the pharmaceutical research club and still being an avid member of the fishing club and the flower arranging club gave Kochou quite the recognition around Kimestu Academy.

Giyuu happened to be in a different class than Sabito and Makomo to his demise thus forcing him to be the lonesome sheep he is. His classmates didn't bother much about him either and nor did he. To him, Kyojurou was too loud, Sanemi was too reckless and Iguro was too emo. He once even referred to Mitsuri as a horse girl to Sabito, but he later concluded that Kanroji was just a rare hybrid of a Taki girl or a hot cheeto girl and Himejima was that one person who believed in horoscopes too seriously, sometimes he'd do tarot readings for his other classmates which Giyuu honestly found quite cool. Whereas Shinobu was someone Giyuu would've honestly never associated in the first place and truthfully speaking their duo wouldn't even exist if Shinobu hadn't approached him first. Shinobu was more of a bully to Giyuu primarily but later Giyuu had opened up to her about how he thought of her as a close friend and that softened Shinobu's heart and strengthed their bond. Although Kyojurou was the smartest kid in the class; even securing his title as class president; Ubuyashiki sensei always made sure to pair up Shinobu and Giyuu together during class projects thus leading to frequent study sessions together. Towards the end of the year, Shinobu became the third person in the entirety of Kimetsu Academy to be close to Giyuu, the 1st and 2nd being Sabito and Makomo and 4th being a special freshman called Tanjiro.

Even though his classmates were rather annoying, Giyuu never did hate any of them. In fact it was hard for Giyuu to genuinely hate anybody in the first place but then there was this one person and that person was Shinobu's oh so charming boyfriend, Douma. Giyuu saw through his pretty boy personality when she first introduced him. He ranted about it to Sabito the very night, complaining about how he's all fake and it's all just a matter of time before that facade comes of. Sabito didn't miss a beat and told Giyuu to suggest a suitable partner for Shinobu instead, to which Giyuu had no answer to. And as per said prophecy it didn't take long for Shinobu to see Douma's true intentions and she decided a queen like her deserved better than this.

It was finally summer break and Giyuu and Shinobu had finally completed 12 painstaken years of schooling along with the others of course. Shinobu decided to host a little get together and hang out with the people she cared about one last time before they drifted apart into adulthood.

Giyuu reached the mall at about 8 pm and walked straight to the food court since Shinobu informed him that's where they would be. To his horror, Shinobu had invited a great deal of people, including those who didn't like him, example being his whole class. As always his presence was ignored by his classmates but thankfully amidst the groups of people, Giyuu noticed a particular red head named Sabito, aka his best friend. Sabito and Makomo were both invited too. Giyuu and Shinobu's friendship caused Shinobu to become good friends with Sabito as well, both of them developed a special bond while they both took turns into bullying poor Tomioka. Shinobu was sitting next to Kimetsu Academy's mascot boy, Inosuke, who looked way too soft for his harsh demeanor. Shinobu had a soft spot for this freshman. She had told Tomioka of how he filled the gap of her need of a younger brother. Unlike Tomioka, Shinobu had a lot of sisters; Kanae who was the eldest, Aoi was a year younger than Shinobu and then came Kanao who was 2 years younger than Shinobu, and lastly were the triplets, Naho, Sumi and Kiyo who were just middle schoolers. Inosuke was a bratty kid who'd frequently get into trouble for having a foul mouth but he was close to Tanjiro and weirdly Kochou's little sister, Kanao's best friend. The butterfly sisters loved having brutes as best friends for some reason, it didn't make sense but somehow worked out for them.

"Inosuke, promise you'll leave that nasty reputation behind."

"I ain't making any promises till you promise you'll send me 3 boxes of foreign chocolate every month." he crossed his arm and looked the other side.

Shinobu softly smiled at him, she was definitely going to miss this kid alot. "Alright Inosuke, I'll make sure to send you the latest ps4 games as well."

Inosuke's eyes lit up as he shook hands with Shinobu to confirm the deal. A subtle smile tugged at the corner of Giyuu's lips.

Giyuu went over to the table Sabito and Makomo were seated at and took a seat opposite to Sabito. It didn't take long for Shinobu to note his presence and she went over to their table and took a seat next to Giyuu. "Aww Tomioka-san, look this is a good farewell party for you, all your friends are here right Infront of you." she snorted.

Giyuu sent her a painful expression. Must she do this even on the day when he supposedly bids her farewell? "Tanjiro's not here though."

"So Kochou, did you get your acceptance letter?" Sabito tried desperately to break the awkward silence.

"oh yes I did, luckily I got into the university I wanted to. I'll be shifting to Canada a few months from now."

"That's so cool. Congrats!" Sabito sent her a beaming smile.

Giyuu was quiet, he was silently studying Shinobu, maybe this was the last time he was going to see her. She was wearing a Yellow ruffle top that was paired up with skinny ripped jeans and her 5 pound white filas, her hair was tied into a half ponytail; she looked cute. Alot of people would've assumed Giyuu's sense of fashion was probably as bland as his personality but surprisingly the guy had drip. He wore a plain black shirt paired up with dark denim jeans and chains to accessorise. Giyuu was an eboy. His sense of fashion honestly made him look quite intimidating but it added a spice to his laid back bland persona, maybe that's why Shinobu had taken an interest to him in the first place.

And almost too soon the party had came to an end as the clock struck 11 PM. Shinobu was probably tired of getting squeezed everytime she got hugged goodbye. One by one, everyone started to leave and before they knew it, a very ominous pair was left behind, and that pair being Giyuu and Shinobu.

"Sabito-kun is a very nice lad. You have great friends Tomioka-san." Shinobu complimented.

"He's nice because he walked Makomo home at 11pm?"

"Well yes, that's rather a very gentlemanly behavior. Don't you think so?"

"You know I've been doing that to you in every single one of our study dates right?" Giyuu raised an eyebrow, right now he seemed like a puppy wagging his tail to receive pats from its master.

Shinobu's cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink when Giyuu had referred to their study session as study dates mistakenly. It was just a slip of a tongue that's all. "My Tomioka-san, are you waiting for me to compliment you?"

"It's nice to hear you say something good about me once in a while Kochou." he pouted like a child.

"If that's what you want...then alright. Walk me home one last time Tomioka san."

"No." he blurted almost too bluntly causing Shinobu to frown almost too evidently. "I'll take you home on my bike instead, this time."

Shinobu was quite taken aback to his sudden kind gesture. Her stomach swelled up with a weird feeling. A mix of happiness with sadness that this was the first and last time she'd get to ride behind his bike.

Giyuu had disappeared for a split second into the parking lot leaving a timid Shinobu pondering. He did mention he really liked bikes. Weirdly as a highschooler, Shinobu always wanted to cruise behind a boy's motorcycle at least once during her high school years and well this was her chance. In 3 minutes Giyuu showed up in a Ducati xdiavel Infront of Shinobu. He patted on the seat next to him gesturing her to come take a seat behind him and so she did after admiring Giyuu and his totally hot ride. Not gonna lie his attire went really well with his bike, she almost felt like she was starring in some music video as they cruised into the dark streets.

Shinobu shrieked almost losing her grip as Giyuu hit a speed bump.

"Kochou." he called out to her, getting her attention.

"Hm?"

"Hold onto me, or you'll fall." his words left Shinobu all flustered and hot but she was quick to oblige, she didn't want any broken bones right before her flight. She also silently thanked the gods that it was too dark for Giyuu to make out her flushed red cheeks.

"Tomioka-san? When did you get this sweet thing?"

"It was a gift from my dad."

"But what if you have to move away for uni? What will happen to it then?"

"I'll take it with me, I haven't gotten a number plate for it yet so I'll just ship it using a ferry or something."

Shinobu wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. She wondered if she was the first girl to sit on his bike. She also wondered about the other girls who would eventually later sit on his bike.

"Kochou, are you in a hurry to go home?" Giyuu suddenly asked.

"Not really, mom and dad are staying at my grandparents' place in the country side and Nee-san just wants me to spend my last few days as free spirited teenager."

"Spend this night with me." he suddenly blurted.

"What?" she choked on her words. Giyuu had become way to daring these days, saying whatever he wanted and bruising poor Shinobu's heart with his choice of words.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." he reassured her in a soothing tone.

"Alright Tomioka-san, as long as you don't get us into trouble I'm good."

He soon parked into a quiet neighborhood. Jesus, this placed seemed abandoned for God's sake, what did he have to show her here? the grudge or babadook?

"Tomioka-san are you sure about this place." Shinobu sent him a nervous look as she tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Giyuu looked into her eyes as he held his hand out to her,"Trust me Kochou." and so she did. They now walked into this dark neighborhood, her tiny hand still enclasped with his large ones. Giyuu knew Shinobu wasn't a big fan of places like these. Places that screamed paranormal activity but the fact the she obliged quite quickly did make him realize how much she trusted him and deep down it made Tomioka Giyuu happy.

"isn't this place restricted or anything? Are we allowed to come here?" Shinobu asked almost too loudly.

Giyuu quickly covered her mouth with his large hands and pulled her into a dark alleyway. Shinobu was quite confused at his sudden antics. She sent him a raised eyebrow as he pinned her against a stone wall, his hand still covering her mouth and almost immediately a Patrol guard walked right past them on the streets. He quickly let go of her and pressed his index finger against his lips gesturing her to stay quiet. "it's alright as long as you don't get caught." he whispered to which she rolled her eyes. He held her hand once again and walked to the biggest house in the area, the house was 4 stories high and Giyuu seemed to have a weird tactic of slipping by the backdoor without getting noticed every time.

"So Tomioka-san, you wanted to show me an abandoned house. Very funny."

"They're not abandoned, they're on sale." He replied walking towards the kitchen.

Shinobu followed him precautiously, "And you're treating it like you own it."

"Only for a while." he replied as he took out 2 bottles of flavored milk. He handed Shinobu the strawberry flavored one knowing that was her favorite and kept the melon flavored one for himself.

"Tomioka-san what's the meaning of this?" she asked one last time, quite getting tired of his shit, really.

Giyuu didn't reply but held her hand as walked upstairs, practically forcing her to follow behind him. They soon reached the attic.

Shinobu was a little taken aback seeing all the clutter of furnite up there. Giyuu pulled up the glass window revealing a beautiful full moon night, how come Shinobu didn't notice that before? And then Tomioka started doing something stupid, which was climbing out of the attic window. Shinobu quickly grabbed his arm as a result of an involuntary reflex, "Are you stupid, do you want to die?"

Giyu was now standing on the roof of a 4 story house with a nerve wrecked Shinobu holding his arm. "Trust me Kochou." he spoke holding out his hand to her.

She shifted her gaze from his moonlit eyes to his hand. Did she trust him with her life? Yes, yes she did. She placed her hand on his and he carefully helped her outside. "Tomioka-san I don't see any point in all of thi-" Shinobu was cut off with the picturesque view of the moon and its bright stars right Infront of her.

Giyuu took a seat next to her, observing the view alongside her. He slowly sipped his melon drink while Shinobu quietly enjoyed her strawberry drink. His gaze shifted from the scenic beauty Infront of him to the other scenic beauty next to him (im a little gay for Shinobu sorry) and there she was Kochou Shinobu, the stars reflected in her eyes as she absent-mindedly stared into the sky being lost in her own void and Giyuu just watched her, she looked even cuter now.

It didn't take long for Shinobu to catch him staring which almost made him choke his drink.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah." he replied after his coughing fits died down. He decided to lay down and enjoy the beauty the night had to offer and Shinobu copied him, laying down next to him. Giyuu had quickly slid his arm towards Shinobu, allowing her to rest her huge head on his arm.

"Tomioka-san." she called out to him making his gaze lock with hers.

"Hm?"

"Thank you. I needed this."

He sent her a soft smile as he tucked behind a strand of her hair behind her ear, "You're welcome."

"You know Tomioka-san, since you've been craving compliments I guess I'll finally give you one." Giyuu softly observed her, wondering what she'd say. "If i were to describe you to a person Tomioka-san. This scenery would suffice."

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

"It kinda matches with your personality you know, It's as quiet and mysterious as the night but nevertheless if you observe closely it has all this beauty to offer." she smiled at him, and this time it hurt him. It made him feel weird. It didn't take long for Giyuu's cheeks to be flushed red under the silver moonlight. Giyuu couldn't reply to this, heck he couldn't even force any words through his mouth. Shinobu smiled and gazed back at the stars once again. She was hit a wave of familiarity, this was her and Giyuu's relationship, it was a bit complicated but it was a bit too beautiful to lose. She started to feel her stomach coil in sadness realising this was the last possible memory she'd spend with Giyuu or maybe they could meet up during the holiday seasons and have remakes of adventurous nights like these.

"Tomioka-san, did you get your acceptance letter?"

"Yeah I did."

"Where are you going?" she wasn't facing him, she didn't want him to see her sad expression.

"Same place you are." Giyuu tried his best not to smile while he said that.

Shinobu quickly turned to him in surprise, "That's a horrible joke, Tomioka-san."

"I'm not." he said, pulling out his phone from his pocket and scrolling through his email to show her his proof. And to Shinobu's surprise there it was, and it was legit. Shinobu was quiet, this was what she wanted but in was a bit too much for her to take in all at once.

"Thank God, now I don't have to worry about you not having friends and getting left alone." she snapped back almost too quickly,

"Shut up."

The air was light and heavy at the same time, Shinobu was a bit too happy to be falling asleep but it didn't take her long to doze off in Giyuu's arms, or on Giyuu's arms. Ouch.

He mentally cursed himself for suddenly exhibiting simp behavior, but today was Shinobu's day and he just had to oblige even though he had to sacrifice his arm.

It didn't take long for Giyuu to doze off alongside Shinobu. Falling asleep under a star-filled sky did have a romantic touch to it.

Giyuu was the first to wake up as the sun slowly started to rise amongst the clouds, creating a magnificent hue of purple and orange. Thankfully Shinobu had shifted from laying on his arm to laying on his chest instead which was definitely more comfortable, but surely Shinobu wouldn't be able to sleep long against his chest with his heart pounding like that.

Giyuu took a moment to appreciate a sleepy Shinobu alongside the beautiful sunrise. Her sun-kissed face was just art in its own form. If Giyuu was anywhere as skilled as Sabito in art, he'd use this masterpiece lying beside him as a prompt and then that's when it hit him. Shinobu basked in the golden rays of sunlight, Shinobu was the golden sunrise in early mornings and if Giyuu were to describe her to someone he'd say something along the lines of; "Shinobu you're the morning sunrise. You're annoying but your presence brings warmth." he whispered softly patting her head. And as most cliché scenes this was no different, much to Giyuu's ill fate, Shinobu was seemingly awake the whole time, and she heard every bit of that.

"That's quite harsh Tomioka-san, but I'll take it." she replied causing a frantic Giyuu's heart rate to sky rocket.

With the sun out, Giyuu and Shinobu realised they better be getting home now since they both had guardians to explain their whereabouts to. It didn't take long for them to pack up and reach Shinobu's house. They shared a small hug on Shinobu's front porch along with Shinobu thanking him for giving her an unforgettable journey. This was a nice end to her highschool life. With a wide grin plastered over her face Shinobu walked into her house to 5 very amused and interested sisters.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing Lessons

Barry Berkman x reader

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating, drinking.

Hi! I know, I took so long to finish this, it's been a crazy couple of months but I must say that this story finally has the ending I wanted, I already had a sugarcoated ending and I didn't post it because I just didn't like it that way, but then I watch Barry again and it all click in my mind and I managed to write this last 2 chapters and the epilogue and I hope you like them.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● 

Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 7

He leaned in ready to kiss you, and for a millisecond you were sure it was going to happen, so you close your eyes and take a small breath ready to feel his lips... but then a floral and feminine fragance lingered under the alcohol and the thought of blonde hair and a bright smile flash before your eyes, and made you speak.

"But I care" You said, and he immediately stop and let you go, he look at you with sad eyes, and was about to start apologizing about how he didn't mean to offend you but you spoke first.

"I like you Barry, I am attracted to you so much that is shameful, especially since tonight for the first time in almost 5 years I felt like a school girl willing to fall down the rabbit hole that is being attracted to someone, and I'm beyond happy knowing you like me as well" it took all the strength in your body to say those words and keep looking into his eyes without crying but you managed, and decided to say it all before the fear betrayed you. "But the truth is that even if I don't feel like that for my husband anymore, I'm still with him, and you're still with Sally, and this adolescent crush, or whatever this is, will be a drunken mistake in the morning, and I care too much about you to let you ruin your relationship, because I'm sure you do love her" you took a deep breath then and try to keep talking but now was impossible, the shameful revelation that you were actually no longer in love with Alan was out and it hurt more than you expected.

"I'm sorry" He started, and pulled you closer to him again, but there was no longer the electricity that had been there minutes before, he simply hold you while you let your bitter tears roll and caress your hair. "You are right, I been trying to lied to me all this time, but you are right, I wanted you, and it's wrong, and if someone has to be ashamed of his behavior is me, I spend the night with you knowing that you are married and I didn't care, and it was for the selfish purpose of being with you."

You pull apart one last time, and your whole body ached, knowing too well that this was the end of something that hasn't even started, but your conciousness was now in charge and this was the right thing to do.

Because in the end you were sure you have fallen for the same reason he had, he wanted Sally to be more like you, willing to leave everything for him, and you wanted Alan to be mor like him, changing his entire self to fit your dreams, under no circumstances was that healthy, nor real, and you both knew that neither was happy.

You said your goodbyes, and the empty promise to pretend to keep being friends, but the quick excuses you made to avoid him the next days and let him alone practicing with Macy, let clear that it was not going to work.

Because even when it was just a fantasy, just a dream, just the idea of something better, it still hurt. It hurt when you accidentally saw him on the street on a date with his beautiful girlfriend, and you could see the light in his eyes when he saw you, and the subsequent sadness because you were now sure that he wanted you too, it hurt even when you were walking on Alan's arm, because seeing him kiss her make your husband efforts to gain your forgiveness seem empty, specially since the tears he saw in your eyes that day were not his doing, but Barry's.

It hurt because, it was not just an idea, not just the idealization of the sweet midwestern boy with perfect blue eyes, it hurt because you love him.

***

Loosing her was hard, pretending to be okay without her gentle touch, and her playful teasing during rehearsals was harder, but seeing her with her husband on the street was heartbreaking, Barry knew he didn't deserve her, but neither did Alan.

In the second he saw him next to Sally he tried to hide, and pull away from Y/N, maybe to prevent Sally to figure out he was cheating on his friend. That's why he kissed her, to avoid confrontation, and a couple minutes later while she was in the bathroom, and Y/N was paying in a store Alan approach him, with his false smile bright.

"Hey Barry was it?" He said, and offered him a hand, that Barry took repressing the urge to punch his teeth out.

"Hey" Asshole "So you broke up with Monique?" Or is that your sister?" He said trying to sound naive, but his eyes were clearly looking at his wedding band.

"No, that's Y/N, she's my wife" He said, with no shame, and Barry was surprised, but maybe a little pride. "You know how it is, huh?" He playfully punch him on the shoulder.

"Sure, she is quite beautiful" He said feeling the words burning in his tongue "Do you think she wants to meet Sally?" He add completely serious and Alan gave him a perplex look. "I'm kidding, but you should leave, she is in the bathroom"

"My man" he said and put his arm around him like they were friends "you almost got me, yeah she is quite something, but too chatty sometimes" Barry was about to break his arm, pleading the skies for Sally or Y/N to see them so it all could end, but he let go first "Thanks, I'll go before they meet, thanks Berkman, you are a real Bro"

"Sure, bro" he answered monotony, and saw him walk away, shaking, missing like never before having a gun in his pocket.

"So I was thinking" Sally said on their way home, he had been pretending to listen about all her fabulous new friends and definitely not thinking in a way to eliminate a certain lawyer.

"Um huh?"

"About what you said a week ago" She said and let go a deep sigh "And I think that maybe cheating won't be an issue if you are both okay okay about it"

Thankfully she was wearing a seatbelt, because he braked abruptly and almost caused and accident.

"What?" He said and she look at him concerned but also embarrassed by the way she had formulated her statement.

"No like that, I mean, maybe if people were completely honest with their partners and their boundaries they would not need to cheat" She said and he was able to keep driving normally until they get to her house.

"So people should tell each other I want to sleep with someone else, be okay with that?" He was trying to not be mean or sarcastic, but it was almost impossible.

They put the groceries in the kitchen and he sit on her couch, and she sit in front of him.

"No, I mean more like maybe people should not commit so much in a relationship if they are not ready for it" She said, and he finally understand where she was going.

"So you want to be with someone else and I'm on the way?" He said more bluntly than he wanted, maybe his time with Y/N have had a negative impact on him.

"Oh my God no!" She said quickly "But maybe you do?" She add.

"I will never cheat on you Sally" LIAAAAR "I'm really confused right now"

"I know you wouldn't" She started and put her hand on his knees tenderly "Is just that with Sam I run into commitment so soon, and I'm afraid that I'm doing the same right now, and what if I'm in the middle of your own journey as an actor, or you in mine? Is not like I'm interested on other men, is just that I think I should be more interested in me as a person, as an artist" She said, she sound sincere but something about her words made him feel like she had rehearsed her speech at least a couple times before. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe, just maybe we should take a break you know? You should focus on your movie, and I should focus on my projects and in a couple months when things are cool down at work we could have more time for each other" She said and she tried to smile.

"Focus on your projects? So you wouldn't be dating anyone?" He said holding his hands in fists, trying to not start screaming at her.

"I don't think I have time for that" She said in al calmed voice "But I would not be mad at you if you do" She said and that was enough for him.

"Ok" He said and stood up trying to leave.

"Wait Barry, you can stay, is just an idea" she tried to stop him but was cautious enough to not touch him, and he felt a pain on his chest knowing why, he would never act like her stupid ex husband, so he calmed immediately and turned around.

"It's okay, I may not want this, but if you do, it's okay, I will see you in a couple months then" He avoid kiss her goodbye and simply walk out of her house.

He got on his car and start driving nowhere in particular, after almost half an hour he was willing to think about what had just happened, he lost Sally, and put Y/N firmly in the arms of her stupid husband. He was now truly alone, and maybe that's why when the black truck that had been following him pass next to him and a bald man covered in tattoos make him a sing to drive behind him he didn't think of escaping, if this was the moment the Chechens were waiting it was perfect, he had nothing left to lose.