#some of these people I haven't seen in three years so I might make myself go anyway

[nxthero]

I know I kinda disappeared and have been quieter than usual the past week but that’s because honestly I'm sicker than I’ve been in a long time and that medicine I took by mistake for my sinuses really fucked me up and made my anxiety go nuts. Usually when I’m having sinus problems my doctor will give me a steroid shot and knock this shit out within a couple of days bc I can’t take most cold medications due to the ingredients, but when I went to the clinic the other day, my pcp wasn’t in office, and the doctor that saw me kinda just ... completely ignored all of that and threw a z-pac antibiotic prescription at me and told me to take a different otc. And then the otc she told me to take? Turns out I can’t take that either, it has that same ingredient that incites my anxiety so I’m just having to tough this shit out with only the antibiotics lol

[soaps-mohawk]

So...

I've been doing some thinking about a couple of things.

This blog has grown considerably, even from its start and I appreciate each and every one of you so much. Your support never ceases to amaze me and I owe all of you a lot for giving me something to focus on this year instead of spiraling into insanity.

But

Things have gotten a tad bit overwhelming recently between trying to run the blog and trying to write. I find myself either having to ignore the blog to get writing done, or sacrifice writing time and energy to spend time on the blog and keep up with all the replies/reblogs/asks etc. Definitely not complaining, you all never cease to amaze me.

But, I am just one person and my brain only has so much power right now. So, I'm planning to take some (more) time off each week right now while I focus on writing and planning since we're getting into some serious plot stuff soon. So I'm planning to be on the blog three days a week for a while: Saturday, Sunday, and Thursday. That gives me some time to get some writing done as well as some time to rest my brain.

Saturday and Sunday of course to post the chapter and respond to replies and reblogs so I don't get super behind. Monday I'll have some asks queued up as well as maybe a few reblogs. I'll still use the queue Tuesday and Wednesday for reblogs/asks with spoilers as usual. Thursday I'll be on the blog answering asks from Monday - Wednesday as well as things I get that day. I'll queue up a few things for Friday since that day gives me a little break between to prepare for the weekend and posting the chapter.

I'll probably add more days as time goes on. You can still send in asks on the days I'm gone, but just know I won't see them or respond to them until later in the week. I already get behind by a couple days on asks anyway so that's not much of a change.

Don't feel bad for sending them either, I love getting all these asks, I just tend to get behind on days I spend more time writing.

The second order of business

has to do with my taglist. Most of you probably haven't noticed (which I don't blame you lol) but my taglist has gotten very big. Very, very big. It's just over 230 people right now, and I'm sure there will be others asking to join. It's quite time consuming to do all of these tags for every chapter (especially since we can't tag in blocks anymore) so I've been doing some thinking into how I can make it easier for me, and for you.

I know there's at least one blog I've heard of, though I'm sure there's more, that have made side blogs that they have people follow and turn on notifications for and just make a post on that blog when they post a chapter or fic, etc. I've been considering doing that since the taglist is a lot of work and time.

I've also seen blogs that have side blogs that just post chapters/fics and nothing else. I know quite a few of you only follow for the fic, so if anyone is interested, I could put together a side blog like that as well that you can follow and get notifications from instead of having to follow this blog and having to go through the probably 100 posts that I make a day 😂 (at least it feels that way for me)

Having a separate blog for the taglist too would allow me to schedule posts so I can have them come out a bit earlier than I get up for those of you across the world who stay up to read and have to wait for me to post in the morning when I get up (or later like today because I slept in). Of course Ao3 will get posted later because I can't schedule posts there, but at least for Tumblr I can have things post earlier.

So let me know what you think about the taglist side blog and the possible just chapters/fics side blog. Feel free to send in asks (anonymously or not) with your opinion. I might not answer them all (not tonight because my brain is fried and honestly i'm not sure if this is even comprehensible English) but I will at least use them to make the decision (or make a post with all of them and answer it as just one).

[surely-sims]

SMALL SIMBLR SATURDAY SHOUTOUTS !!

AKA an excuse for me to yell about how much I love these incredible free CC creators and throw flowers at them.

@lumenniveus - LxN CC 🌹

LxN makes some of the most interesting, whimsical, and creative CC that i think the community at large is so lacking. Every time I load up his CC In my game I find myself smiling and laughing at all the love and little jokes he includes. Please Please Check out his stuff if you haven't already. I think he might be the most tragically slept on BB creators.

▶ Check out LxN Here!

@hamsterbellbelle 🌸

HamsterBelle is one of the most brilliant creators I've come across in this community. Not only is she crazy smart and makes some of the coolest cyberpunk CC I've ever seen, she is also a mind blowing builder and takes the time to write out some incredibly helpful tutorials. I've learned so much from her whether she knows or not haha. 🐹💖

▶ Check out HamsterBellBelle here!

@nolan-sims 🌼

Not only is Nolan a goddamn pillar of this community for many years but she's also an incredible, sweet, and wonderfully talented creator and friend. Her CC is always so well thought through, completely original, and lovingly detailed. We definitely don't deserve her. 😭💗

▶ Check out Nolan here!

BONUS ROUND: 💐

All these creators are amazing and I would carve their names into the stars but ya'll would shoot me if this post kept going and going down your dash that long.

⭐ @gilded-ghosts Amazing amazing vintage CC, thoughtful, beautiful original meshes and textures. ( X ) ⭐ @myshunosun Myshuno deserves all the hype and praise her CC gets. She's an absolutely lovely human and has saved my ass once or twice too. ( X ) ⭐ @dallasgirl79 DallasGirl makes the best heels your sims will ever wear. Hard stop. I will not be taking questions at this time. ( X ) ⭐ @doctorsimcraft A dear friend, an amazing writer, builder and maker of delightful vintage Build/Buy CC too. ( X ) ⭐ @vyxated HOLY FUCK. Vxyated is crazy intelligent. Their work with CAS rooms and now the new Rig Plus Helper is mind blowing. ( X ) ⭐ @adjusted-karma ( X ), @simmireen ( X ), @herecirm-warcry ( X ), @rebouks ( X ), @madebycoffee ( X ) Beautiful people, beautiful poses. Also Ireen runs @ts4-poses which is a goddamn godsend to this community. ⭐ @twentiethcenturysims ( X ), @chere-indolente ( X ) Fantastic Historical CC from two very good eggs. ⭐ @jellymoo ( X ), @laeska ( X ), @xldkx-cc ( X ) Three lovely and fantastically talented CAS creators that put a ton of thought and effort in going the extra mile with their CC and it absolutely shows. ⭐ @awingedllama Anna is smart, skilled, and deserves all the flowers she's gotten this year. We really do love to see it. ( X ) ⭐ @kamiiri Some of the best hairs that have ever graced my game. I am actually obsessed. ( X )

If I missed anyone I apologize, but please know every single free CC creator makes my heart grow a little bigger every day. 💖 And to my fellow Creators, Storytellers, Simmers - Go make weird shit, make something that makes you laugh, make something that brings you joy. Cause y'know what? That joy bleeds into your work and we can all see it and feel it. That joy is infectious and special and THAT is what makes this community worth being a part of.

xo, Anne 🦐

[noahideahwrites]

Omegas that would have obsessions — Multifandom

Notes: This is inspired by @animeomegas's headcanon of Nara's obsessions, but since I discovered it through @omeganronpa I'm giving them both credit.

Warnings: Contain MAJOR Inuyasha spoilers, might have grammar errors, confusing talk about reincarnation (I don't know what I'm saying either lol)

I had this idea for a while, cause I like the idea of the Nara clan having a sort of "soulmate", so I thought to myself "What other characters that I write for would also have obsessions?". And here are the ones I think would have:

- Inuyasha: 

»» I think he and his entire family (his father and brother) would have it, just like it happens with the Nara clan every heir has an obsession. But in Inuyasha's case, it can be a little confusing.

»» Because if we follow the canon, his obsession would be Kikyo and Kagome, considering they are the same person since Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyo from the future. So in the end, they're the same person in different timelines.

»» So we can have three scenarios in this case, first one: Inuyasha's obsession is Alpha from the very start, and he doesn't fall in love with Kikyo.

»» Second scenario is that (Name) is the only reincarnation of Kikyo, and Kagome either doesn't exist or just isn't the reincarnation. The third scenario would be that Kagome and Alpha are twins, and they're both the reincarnation of Kikyo, but Inuyasha only obsesses over one, cause otherwise it could lead to incest and I don't like that.

»» For the majority of the anime's plot to work, I think we would have to go with a mix of the third and second scenario, in which Alpha is Kagome's older sibling (by a few years), and is also Kikyo's reincarnation but either both the siblings have priest's powers or only Kagome has.

- Sesshomaru:

»» Being Inuyasha's brother he has an obsession too, but it is a lot easier to discuss how it would work.

»» I hate that they made Sesshomaru and Rin a couple, he raised her like a daughter through the anime, and in the end (and Hanyō no Yashahime) they turned into a couple. I understand that at their time this conception might not be weird and whatnot, but it is to me, so we will pretend like it didn't happen.

»» Unlike Inuyasha, Sesshomaru would already know this concept from his father. Since Inuyasha never met his dad, I think the obsession would be all news for him and he might get overwhelmed. Which would not happen with Sesshomaru.

»» Like, don't get me wrong, I think he would avoid "activating" his obsession because for him feelings and emotions are unnecessary and he doesn't need or want that. He's also very much anti-social, so it might take a while for him to find his obsession.

»» And for it to work he would have to find them after finding and adopting Rin, because he only became more accepting of people in general after her, principally human. If Alpha is a Yokai things would probably be easier for them, but if they're a human Jaken will make their life harder (and perhaps annoy everybody).

- Tōga:

»» This is also complicated to think about, cause adding a third party to his story would probably mess up the entire anime, considering that he would have to meet his obsession before he dies.

»» So basically we have two scenarios, one which doesn't disturb the canon as much and the other that probably will. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a way to not change the story of the anime on this one.

»» So, the first scenario is a little bit long so bear with me. Tōga and Sesshomaru's mom only married for power or political purposes, so both of them knew that there was no love in the relationship (I do believe this is canon, but I haven't seen confirmation). Some years later he meets Izayoi (Inuyasha's mom) and he thinks that he has "activated" his obsession, while Izayoi was pregnant, Tōga was fighting the dragon Ryūkotsusei, and in this battle, he met his actual obsession. Who would have seen and heard the fight and decided to help Tōga defeat the dragon, and also helped on saving Izayoi and Inuyasha.

»» Still in the first scenario, this could end two ways, either both Alpha and Tōga die because of the number of lethal wounds they have, or both end up surviving and escaping with Izayoi and raise Inuyasha together. Just an addon to this, I do believe that both Tōga and Izayoi are omegas, and in my universe, male omegas can impregnate others (that can get pregnant, obviously).

»» The second scenario is a lot shorter, but Alpha is Inuyasha's and Sesshomaru's parent, just because I want them both to exist in all scenarios. So if Alpha is either a human or a yokai would probably change the outcome of this, but I do think they would all be a loving family, which is kind of a weird concept considering that Sesshomaru and Inuyasha hate each other in the anime.

- Sebastian:

»» I'm gonna be completely honest, this is heavily influenced by a mod that I installed that makes Seb completely obsessed with the farmer, so this is the only reason why he is here.

»» I don't think this would run in his family, is his thing, but it might also happen to his children, so this genetic obsession might start with him and go for the future generations.

»» From this list, his obsession is the most similar to Shikamaru's, if not more intense, he is a very socially anxious person who only has two actual friends and spends the majority of his days in his room hidden from everyone and everything. He even got a job where he doesn't need to be talking to people or leaving his room.

»» It would be the first time he meets someone and has clear feelings for them, so it would be overwhelming to him and he would not know what to do, but would still try to spend as much time with his obsession as physically possible.

»» Now this would be weird for both Alpha and Seb, considering nobody else in the town has an obsession and he never acted like this towards anybody or thing.

[pandorasfruit]

Umbrella Academy season 4:

I finished the entire season a few nights ago, so lets talk about some things;

I haven't checked in with the fandom in any way, but from most of the tiktoks i've seen, not many like this season. Completely understandable, makes sense, especially after seeing that weird (a lot of people used the word:) predatory relationship which went down between Five and Lila. I definitely did not see it coming, and though I don't find it predatory myself, as they are both consenting adults, since Five is in the body of an (i think) 20-something year old, but has the mind of an (if i remember right) 60/70 year old(?). I think how it happened can also be an excuse; they were trapped together for (what felt like to them) 7 years. Not to mention that Five had probably been lonely for some time now, and though Lila claimed that her marriage satisfied her, I really don't think it did.

This all however, is totally not an excuse for their behavior. Lila was married with three kids, and Five was the brother of her husband. They were in-laws, which does add to the weird pile.

The only thing I really enjoyed about their "hang", was their travels through all the different timelines. And now we have another academy (The Phoenix Academy), that's just a fun thought. I would have loved to see an episode where they explored the different timelines with different academies.

In other news: I love Luther.

I'm sorry, but I just do. I think the way he desperately tries to keep everything together when it comes to their family is commendable. In previous season, I always hated how he excused Reggie's behavior, but now that he's left that behind and focuses solely on his siblings instead is adorable. Both and he and Allison have given up on the whole incestuous relationship they had, and now they don't even mention it nor acknowledge it. Though normally I would say that that's not a healthy way to deal, I think it's actually better to just leave it all be.

Yes, I know he's kind of pathetic. Yes, I know he is also somewhat selfish. No, I do not care. He's trying very hard to be cool older brother Luther and cool uncle Luther. I think his whole descent into sex work should have been talked about in a better way, but somehow he always brought it up as a thing he enjoys doing? I'm not going to go into prolematic things that the writers have been doing, but this is definitely one of them. There's nothing consensual about sex work, and it should never be shown as something that one might enjoy doing.

This is one of the first actual seasons, however, where we get to witness Diego doing his thing! (I know we've seen him do some other tricks, but they never been this detailed.) I was so shocked to see him do his little spin in the air to redirect the bullets during the second episode, but I was disappointed to see that Lila did NOT care.

Talking about Lila and Diego, did anybody else catch that one part in the first episode about how they basically had the twins accidentally? Diego explains to Luther that though he loves Lila and his kids, he feels exhausted and not at all satisfied. Then he explaines that they had the twins through Lila telling him that since she was breastfeeding, she couldn't get pregnant. It's unclear now if they were both mistaken, but just the way he was talking about it, it felt like to me that he felt betrayed by Lila. I'm pretty sure that Lila was aware that she could still get pregnant, she just knew that she wouldn't be able to convince Diego, so instead she did this.

Viktor is as cool as ever. He's always been very cool, but thinking back to all other old (pre-transition) Elliot Page roles, its so noticiable how uncomfortable he was in his body, and getting to see him now, playing a male character, whos not only accepted by his siblings but Reggie too?! Amazing. And him bonding with Reggie? Delicious, I ate that right up. Reggie calling him "boy" (and other masculine nicknames)? Love, love, love.

This is one point for the writers and Netflix, this is exactly how Hollywood should handle an actor coming out, and I hope that this will be an example for future media that will feature transgender actors in the middle of transitioning.

Klaus is our little weirdo who DESERVES a break. He needs it. Please.

We get to see him clean this season, but I did not expect him to behave like this while off drugs. Honestly, I'm not sure I expected anything. I guess I kind of just thought he'd do drugs anyway? Or that he'd get clean but still behave somewhat the same way.

Poor Klaus was also a character subjected to sex work this season, it just made a bit more sense this time. He definitely did not enjoy it, that was something they made very obvious, but they still couldn't do it just right. It was awful watching him have to make a choice between getting money to pay off his debt and leave or a sole condom for "dealing" with costumers. They didn't make it obvious how many clients he really had, but through dialog, you could kind of guess that he had way more than the one girl whose money he tried stealing.

I loved seeing his relationship with Allison this season. And I loved his relationship with Claire even more. I felt the scene where he went home to rob Allison's place so he could get money to buy drugs was realistic, but since I've never had any experiences with addiction of that kind, I won't speak on it.

The villains of the season were kind of nothing if I'm being honest. I loved their sense of style, but other than that they were basic, text-book style villains, who were mostly around to just help the story along. They weren't too memorable, but neither was Reggie's wife? Partner? I'm not sure who she was, or if she counts as a villain or not? I didn't really understand her role, but I did like how she treated the siblings the first time they met.

Then there is Ben and Jennifer.

I feel like we never really made Ben an official part of the siblings, even though he is supposed to be. His relationship with Jennifer was very cute, but once again, it was not too memorable, even though it was supposed to be the main story of the entire season. I find it weird how it all looks unplanned while also being completely planned? Like, you'd assume that ever since season 1, this has always been the story of Ben's death, and yet it still feels like it just wasn't? It feels like they were putting this whole thing together blindly, and then someone thought of the right thing and that was what made it all make sense.

And I don't like how things with Jennifer went unexplained! What does that fucking squid have to do with anything???

But anyway, other than all that, this season was a very basic example of a Netflix series. It was entertaining but not deep. It was a good watch, but I don't think I could ever do a re-watch. I think it was overall, just nice.

[polyamorousmood]

Hello! I've been following this blog for a while and it is completely fine if this post isn't something you feel like you may want on your page. I just wanted to talk about how kinda rare it is for younger polyam people (such as myself and my partners) to be recognized, seen, and accepted by the world and those around us. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem but hopefully, this can reach someone and make them feel less alone.

For reference, my partners and I are all 17. We have such an established connection and an open line of communication, especially since we all pretty much started out as friends. The three of us have grown up in immigrant families with some pretty strict values and customs that make it hard for us to be our true selves around our families when we're all at an event together like a birthday or just a casual hang out. It's especially hard because 4 times out of 5, we'd need a chaperone and then we have to code switch to "bro" and "dude" and "girl" because if anyone who ISN'T supposed to know finds out, it could potentially put all of us in a situation. It just sucks because I love them both so much and I wouldn't trade them for the absolute world! If I could scream it off of a rooftop, I'd scream until aliens thought the humans were raging war. I don't want to hide the fact that my love extends past the boundaries of societal norms. I don't want to feel like I'm hiding a giant secret behind a curtain. But I can't do all of that without potentially ruining the relationships I have with my family, my partner's families, and their relationships with their own families. This is very long, I apologize but to wrap it up:

It's difficult having to pretend to only be friends in the eyes of the people we care the most about. But the kind of love and connection I have with my partners is a kind of love that I wouldn't give up, even at gunpoint.

So this is a fascinating perspective to me, and I thank you deeply for sharing it. Because I would have killed (at least maimed) to know I was poly when I was a teen. It would have clarified years of my life, it would have allowed me years more of freedom and joy. Not to mention having friends on my side from the beginning.

So its heartwrenching to hear how burdensome it is to you -- even though it makes sense.

I want to let you know these problems are not unique to young folks. Its not "kinda rare it is for younger polyam people to be recognized, seen, and accepted by the world." Its rare for all polyam people to be recognized, seen, and accepted by the world. Adulthood and independence often allows much more space, of course. You curate more of your own life as an adult, and that gives you so much more time where you can be authentic, away from people who might "cause a situation," as you put it. I don't want to diminish this, because its very important to me you are aware of this very real hope, and because I don't want you to feel I am dismissing your concerns. You will get more time to live your life as you want to live it.

But unsupportive parents stay unsupportive (I haven't told mine). Fears of teachers becomes fears of bosses, landlords -- hell, banks. If living in a close community, polyamorous folks still go out on group dates "as friends" and say babe "in jest." There is still risk.

I don't say this to discourage you. Rather the opposite: You are not alone in your experience of having to tamp yourself down. Every polyamorous person I know has felt that or still feels that, and is still living a rich, full life. They are loving their partners💗. They feel unconstrained 🕊️ in those spaces they have carved for themselves. They do all of this despite the difficulties, and it remains worth it.

[wanderingmind867]

I am half tempted to send some of my mutuals asks where i ask them if they've seen my latest posts. I think I'd feel guilty doing it, but that doesn't necessarily mean i won't do it. It just means that i'll feel like a jerk doing it, and it may fuel my desire to make a post where I discuss how I feel social media can be bad for me (i keep wanting to make that post, but i never can bring myself to make it). But if i'm so concerned that i'm overtraining it all this badly, why not cut out the middleman? I'm just gonna tag three of my mutuals, i'll say some stuff that'll make me want to run to another tab (like a chatbot site or a tierlist site or something), and then we'll go from there:

Now, Warning: The things I say might end up sounding awkward, rude, or any number of any negative ways. I don't mean it in those ways. I feel bad enough about making this stupid post, but i'm doing it anyways.

@ihauntmyhouse @thewordsmith3 @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaries the three of you are sort of like a trio, in a weird way: i followed you all at one point because you had a period where you really engaged with my posts. And unlike some other blogs i engaged with (where I never followed them back or we drifted apart due to diverging interests in my 2+ years on here), i have always unfollowed and refolllowed you to keep you near the top of my following count. I don't know why anymore. Habit, maybe? A desire to ensure people focus on me (that makes me sound like a narcissist, which i really don't feel like i am. But that goes back to me wondering if social media is good for me)? A simple matter of me being lazy and sedentary and not liking the aesthetics if different people at the top of the count?

The point of that giant text block is: I don't know why i'm like this online. That's really all i needed to say, but i rambled. And since i haven't seen your blogs in my activity log lately (and since my brain is pressuring me over thinking my posts don't get enough attention), I needed to make this post and ensure you still see me. Maybe that's feeding this too; a fear of being forgotten or something. Considering my only friend irl is my dad (who i'm super dependent on) and i've been suffering existential issues, it could be a fear of being forgotten.

[cowboy]

journal #2

Good eve. :)

I've been in a strange way these past few days. I don't even know where to start seeing as this is seen by strangers who know nothing about my life, not even the mundane or simple things. but I'll just go into it.

This feeling I've been having of feeling like a tiger pacing in a cage has existed for years now and it flares up every once in a while. what does it feel like to let that pressure buildup go? is it possible to let it go? what would cause that pressure to burst and be freed? is this feeling eternally subconscious-to-conscious-to-subconscious-again? as in, i feel like it comes and goes but always exists. does it ever truly, truly leave? what does it mean to feel free, or cageless, anyway?

do y'all even know that feeling i'm talking about? lmao.

i have been going crazy over this crush for way too long and that's definitely adding to my feeling. i feel absolutely tied to a crush when i have one; i become addicted to the sensation of being near them and i forego so many of my desires and needs for them.

i came back home the other day to a messy room for five days in a row and only today could i clean it. i'm actually also realizing i haven't had my meds for a month now and i think that's really adding to this feeling and these actions (or... lack thereof).

anyway, i made a hinge profile this morning and i quickly realized how much i enjoy being found cute! it usually makes me feel really nervous but the separation of an app/ability to just swipe left or whatever made me feel more in control. to be clear, i hate that i enjoy it so much. i feel very vain in that sense -- i suppose it's human, but i'd like to think i don't need/want to be found attractive. oh well. i do i guess. not sure if that's something i should like... fix.

hinge both helped and did not help at all with my crush. i've been able to realize there's attractive funny interesting people out there that my crush tunnel vision was distracting me from, so i feel a lot less tethered to my crush. on the flipside, i realized so quickly that the type of person i am really truly fully attracted to at the moment doesn't exist, because it's just my crush. i just want someone exactly like him because i just like him so much. Lmaoooooooooo.

i'm also feeling stuck on this one art piece i'm making for my now-ex-but-still-bestie -- here's a pic of all the drafts i made of it:

that pic is missing one; four drafts total exist.

here's a close up of the most completed one:

plus my stupid looking goose ass. (my eye is red and irritated rn.)

it says "isn't it funny that we're here and not there?" i liked this concept for a while but now i am sick of it after drawing it three times and i feel like the message is boring to me now. i wanna draw something new, but i haven't properly set aside the time to develop any novel concept that would be appropriate as a gift for my friend.

anyway, i'll try to figure that out. what i'm more interested is -- do you feel like you get anything from this image, emotionally or intellectually? does it interest you at all whatsoever? what do you think the meaning is behind this piece, if any is notable at all? (i like it when people form opinions or theories behind the meanings of my pieces, so anything is valid 100%.)

also, would anyone be interested in purchasing one of these original drafts from me for like $10 or $15? again, i'm seeing if i might dip my toes into selling my art online so any feedback is helpful. hehe.

i'll end here. i have some more to post -- i'll be posting a little sketch comic draft of "notes on having a crush" and maybe people can find those relatable or what have you.

i hope everyone's having an excellent day. i am having a good one myself, despite that strange feeling of being pent-up and unresolved. :)

[gren-arlio]

When was the last time I did this? Oh well, welcome to Season 2, Episode 4 of Waku Puyo Translations.

(Have you seen this animal? This DWEEB?)

Heya guys, I'm finally back doing this funny nonsense since school has finally ended, or basically ended depending on when I post this. I have much more time to do stuff, and I'm hoping for a good summer.

I like doing these mock translations, and yeah, I figured out the word for the thing I do. They're not professional, but they're just a mock-up, a way to get the general information in for the people. And it only took me a whole...year to figure it out.

I'm a tad foolish.

For people who dunno, I just kinda do this stuff on my spare time. I do plan on making a big Google Doc about it sometime, revisions and all, but that'll be months and months of work. Since I got a new laptop, I can type these things a whole lot more quickly, at the cost of trying to figure out what the hell what PC Tumblr looks like. I'll learn within due time.

Well, in that case, here's the video in question:

Timestamps:

Door: (0:07)

Merchant Nonsense: (0:25)

MORE Merchant Nonsense: (1:40)

EVEN MORE Merchant Nonsense: (2:03)

Rulue Encounter 1: (3:05)

Schezo Encounter 1: (3:50)

Info Booth: (4:38)

Sasori Man Encounter: (8:00)

Schezo Encounter 2: (9:23)

Rulue Encounter 2: (9:58)

Cockatrice Midboss: (12:20)

Skeleton-T Encounter: (13:50)

Owlbear Boss: (13:50)

Info Booth 2: (19:04)

Lets see how this goes. Hope you enjoy.

And on a serious note, I'm so, so sorry this took so long. Life got super busy, and still sorta is, I even got myself a summer job. I'll try to continue these, I promise. I'll post more informational stuff too, I think people are getting really tired of my super casual posting, so I'll begin to balance them more. And I'm also going to stop putting the timestamp on the translations, since they're...already at the top.

Door:

Arle: Huh? What does it say here...?

Door: They who has 6 orbs, raise them.

Arle: ...6 of them? I mean, I have a few, but not six of them.

Carbuncle: Gugu?

------

Merchant Nonsense:

Fufufu: Welcome.

Arle: Oh, heya there.

Fufufu: Fufufu, you're here to buy something?

Arle: So you're a merchant as well, I assume?

Fufufu: Fufufu, well, I got a lot of interesting stuff for you.

[This opens up a menu for the shop, and I'll just go by page number rather than what the player here does. Some of the names might be wrong, my apologies.

Page 1: Rugged Stone Life Stone Soul Stone Ruby Sapphire Emerald Useless Wand (Could also just say Worthless. Either or.) Transforming Wand (I'd assume it does, since the text says it'd transform something, so it's what I'll be going with.

Page 2: Golden Wand Multi-trap Scroll Monster Scroll Cursed Scroll Super Cursed Scroll (It's basically still a Cursed Scroll, so I'll just call it this.) Forgetfulness Scroll Slowness Scroll Rotten Soup (Part of Medicine.)

Page 3: Poison Illusion Medicine Blindness Medicine Dizziness Medicine Sealing Medicine Sleep Medicine Forgetfulness Medicine Slowness Medicine

Page 4: Rotten Herbs Hunger Herbs Falling Herb (I asked like three people and we all pointed to this) Drain Herb Rotten Apple Poisoned Apple Explosive Apple

Page 5: Rotten Curry Plain Curry Rugged Book Heavy Book Difficult Book

And that'd be all the items here. These are easily the hardest things to do.]

Fufufu: Fufufu, I see you haven't learned to fuse yet. (In-game, it's sorta called Synthesize, but the gameplay mechanic is virtually fusion. So for clarity's sake, I'll call it Fusion.)

Arle: Fuse? I mean, you're not wrong.

Fufufu: Please bring me a Flame Ring (1) then.

Arle: So if I bring it, you'll teach me?

Fufufu: Fufufu, indeed.

-----

MORE Shop Nonsense:

Momomo: Welcome to the shop.

[...More Menus. Yay. So it says:

Rings <-

Amulets

Scrolls

Books

Medicine

Herbs

Food

Accessories

Page 1 of Rings:

Plain Ring Rugged Ring Flame Ring (1) Ice Ring (1) Lightning Ring (1) Thunder Ring (2) Supernatural Ring Rock-Punch Ring (1) (I'd assume this is from Rulue's Story.)

Page 2: Flame-Strike Ring (2) Ice-Strike Ring (2) Player buys a Flame Ring (1) and leaves.]

Momomo: Thank you for shopping with us.

-----

EVEN MORE Shop Nonsense:

Fufufu: Fufufu, welcome. Did you get the Flame Ring (1)?

[Menu pops up saying "Do you want to give him the ring?" We say Yes.]

Arle: Yeah, here ya go.

Fufufu: Now watch carefully, because something interesting is going to happen.

Arle: What're you gonna do?

Fufufu So, look at this Flame Ring (1) and Ice Ring (1). We combine the two, and...

Arle: Huh?

Fufufu: Look. Now we have the Thunder Ring.

Arle:

What!? How'd you do that?

Fufufu: Fufufu, you really want to know?

Arle: I wanna know, yeah! Can you tell me?

Fufufu:

Fufufu, you sure ask for quite a good bit.

[Arle has learned the Fusion skill. Now, you can Fuse your Rings and Amulets.]

Arle: Wow, thanks!

Fufufu: Fufufu, good luck on your journey.

-----

Rulue Encounter 1:

Rulue: Oh-hohoho!

Arle: ...What's up with you today?

Rulue: You don't have a VIP Ticket, huh?

Arle: Ticket? Hmm, so Rulue got one as well...

Rulue: Wait a second, you said "As well". Arle, where did you get a VIP Ticket?

Arle: Oh, from Sasori Man. I could ask you the same question, how did you get yours?

Rulue: Well, how I got it is not important at all!

Arle: Alright...But it's not fair for you to ask about my ticket, but not vise versa.

Rulue: Oh, can it! I don't need to be hearing this from you!

Arle: I didn't even do anything wrong! ...C'mon Carby!

Carbuncle: Gu...

-----

Schezo Encounter 1

Arle: Heya Schezo.

Schezo: What is it?

Arle: Did you know that there's more than 5 floors in the PuyoPuyo Dungeon?

Schezo: Oh, of course I did. That lady I spoke to wasn't my enemy, after all.

Arle: Lady? I dunno any girls who you're exactly close with. Oh right, I remember! You're here to pick up girls!

Schezo: No, I'm not! ...Wait, you didn't meet that perverted woman?

Arle: Pervert? But aren't you the pervert?

Schezo: That's enough from you...Just don't say another word.

Arle: And he's gone...Odd.

Carbuncle: Gu?

-----

Info Booth:

[I've done these so many times...

Menu appears saying:

Listen <- Rank Bulletin Back

Kiki says "What do you want to hear?"

More Menus appear:

About Completed Attractions About Rare Items <- Black Market Tales When in Trouble Back]

Kikimora: There's quite the number of items in these attractions. And with these items, there's also rare ones that can't be found in stores. These items change depending on which attraction you are at, so if you want anything specific, let us know. Think about the attractions you're entering before trying to find items. As well, at the store, when you sell the item, they'll always be in stock, so you can sell anything you want without much worry.

Arle. Huh. Neat.

[The player then goes into the Bulletin, where it says:

Horror House Wonder Jungle Merchant Fufufu Recommendations For Bottling Fusion Manual <-]

Incubus: Hello!

Arle: Hey, just teach me about Fusion.

Incubus: Of course! It's quite a long story, so listen carefully, alright honey?

Arle: Who's Honey...?

Incubus: Fusing is combing items in order to make new ones. It can only be things like rings with rings and amulets with amulets, so no mixing. Okay so far?

Arle: Mhm.

Incubus: Lets continue then. Fusing also drains some MP.

Arle: D-drains?

Incubus: Imagine it like using a spell, it'll also cost MP to use it. But once you do it, you gain EXP. Of course though, gaining EXP through other means also levels up your fusing ability.

Arle: Well, what'll happen if I level up?

Incubus: More MP is needed to fuse stronger and rarer items. But if you level up, you can fuse with less MP drain as well. If you're a low level, you'll just fail at fusing a lot. And even if you fail, you'll still lose that MP.

Arle: This all sounds really complicated...

Incubus: Come on, it's actually pretty easy. Higher leveled items are much more difficult to fuse than lower leveled ones. But the higher the level of the item, the stronger the combined fusion will become.

Arle: Ahhhha...

Incubus: Once an item is at its max potential, it'll say (EX) right next to it. It just means that it's at its strongest. Well, that just explains most of Fusion.

Arle: Woah...

Incubus: Ha! It's not EVERYTHING, I'll explain more when we meet again.

Arle: Wha!? There's more?

Incubus: The road to mastering Fusion is a very long and difficult road, you know. But see ya later! Buh-Bye~!

Arle: Err...

----- Sasori Man Encounter:

Sasori Man: Hey hey.

Arle: Hmm? What's up?

Sasori Man: I got one thing to tell you before you enter this place.

Arle: And what's that?

Sasori Man: It's about the big boss of Wonder Jungle.

Arle: And this guy...well, is he strong?

Sasori Man: What he lacks in power, he for sure makes up in technique. Here's the real kicker; Apparently he can read minds.

Arle: Wait...what?

Sasori Man: Yeah, he can read the minds of the opponent he faces and avoid the attacks they throw. Swords, magic, anything! It doesn't matter how strong your attacks are if they just miss. He's a real doozy. Be careful out there.

Arle: I'm not sure I can just be careful... I mean, if they just avoid my attacks, then it'd be impossible for me to win.

Sasori Man: Well, you're right on that.

Arle: Uhh...

Sasori: Sorry that I can't exactly help any further.

Arle: Nah, it's not that. If I just went in without a care in the world, I would've been beaten in a heartbeat. There just HAS to be some sorta way to beat him. I'll have to really think about it, though.

Sasori Man: Huh, I see. You got this, good luck.

Arle: I sure do. Thanks.

-----

Schezo Encounter 2:

Arle: Oh, Schezo!

Schezo: Arle! ...By any chance, are you planning to enter this attraction?

Arle: Mhm, you're right on the mark.

Schezo: ...Then I'll enter first!

Arle: I mean, aren't you familiar with the phrase "Ladies First"?

Schezo: Ladies first? Never heard that one before. And besides, I'd never do that thing to begin with, I'll never give up my own turn!

Arle: Isn't he a persistent one...

Carbuncle: Gu?

-----

Rulue Encounter 2:

Arle: We should go in soon.

Carbuncle: Gu!

Arle: ...Hm? What's this?

Minotauros: Lady Rulue, please wait...

Rulue: Hey, Minotauros! Move faster, will ya!?

Arle: It's hard to believe that this lady only two years older than me...

Rulue: And who's this "old lady" you're talking about!?

Arle: Oh, you heard that? ...And I didn't exactly call you an old lady, either...

Rulue: No excuses! I swear, I can't handle you sometimes. A girl like you can be unbearable to be around! (Not exactly what it says, but I'm deciding to just try and make it more cohesive.)

Arle:

...Growing up is a interesting thing. I wonder if I'll turn into a selfish, self-conscious meathead! ...That was just my Rulue impression, heh!

Rulue: I beg your pardon!? And WHO is this selfish and self-conscious person!? Oh, I'm just some idiot because I can't use magic, I see how it is! I'll remember that! (Rulue will remember that.)

Arle: ...Carby, I didn't say all of THAT, though!

Carbuncle: Gugu!

-----

Cockatrice Midboss + Defeat:

Cockatrice: Ca-CAW!

Arle: Huh? Is this chicken mad at me or something?

Cockatrice: CA-CAW! (You're nothing but a fool!) [The parenthesis is what they're actually saying this time, so heads up for that.]

Arle: ...Do I really need to fight a chicken, of all things?

Cockatrice: Ca-CAAAW! (Oh, you're SUCH a goner!) [Believe me, that's...basically all they say.]

[Blah blah, Cockatrice gets beaten, this is the most amount of attention they've gotten in months]

Cockatrice: Ca-caaaw...

Arle: ...Huh. What an odd animal.

----- Skeleton-T Encounter:

Arle: Oh, it's you!

Skeleton-T: Ochaaaa!

Arle: ... ... (Yeah same here Arle.)

Skeleton-T: Sorry, I'm all out of tea this time.

Arle: Eh?

Skeleton-T: I apologize for the inconvenience, I wish I could give you a cup of tea.

Arle: Errrr... You don't need to sound so...professional.

Skeleton-T: As an apology, I'll give you this instead.

Arle: And what's this for?

Skeleton-T: Well, what it's for is in the chest.

[He leaves]

Arle: Wonder what the thing exactly is.

(In the chest was just a book.)

-----

Owlbear Boss + Defeat:

Owlbear: Stop right there! You got some guts challenging me to a fight.

Arle: Huh?

Owlbear: And with that, I also want you OUT of here!

Arle: Hey, wait a second...

Owlbear: I WON'T wait! I don't have time to waste!

[He promptly gets his ass kicked.]

Owlbear: Forgive me...

Arle: Huh...That was a tough battle.

[During this time, Arle finds a chest.]

Arle: Oh, there's an orb in here! It seems to be the green one. Now I only need two more!

Carbuncle: Gugu!

-----

Info Booth 2:

[We're back at the booth, and this is the final stuff, THANK GOD. The player clicks on rankings, and clicks the "To the person who has a grimoire" bulletin.]

Bulletin: I've found I grimoire myself, and I got news for you. If you read the spell inside of the grimoire, you'll quickly see that it's stronger than most spells you might have. So I wonder if you'll return this grimoire I've oh-so-lost, since I'm the only one who can use the Meteor Spell. Oh-hohoho! From: A Talented Witch.

[And finally, the player clicks the "Don't just throw it away" bulletin.]

Bulletin: A blank scroll or plain water can often be seen as useless. As such, people tend to throw them away, and it's such a waste! You might as well use a different item, change the item itself. Or even just Fuse it. (I assume that's what this conversation was going for since it's a little vague.) From Sasori, Behind the Scenes.

-----

And for the first time in months, we finally finished an entire episode. Once again, I'm so sorry for the delay, life got the best of me and free time DOES exist, but I REALLY have to manage it well now. But still, thank you so much for reading this. I plan to make a Waku Puyo Extras about maybe cut content or even a game I probably haven't covered just yet, so who knows?

But that'll be all from me.

Adios.

[aubins]

TOA Anniversary Munday

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: darcy, but i also go by qiu!

Pronouns: they/he

Birthday (no year): january 9th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? sea & gmt+8

How long is your roleplay experience? god who knows HAHA not me i fear

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? .........kik..........and then amino when i really got into it a bit more lmfao

How were you introduced to TOA? through the heart & soul ad on twitter!

Do you have any pets? unfortunately not i must live vicariously through family & friends

What is your favorite time of year and why? i do love the -ber months generally. it's nice to have cooler weather as someone who lives in a tropical country though it's not by much these days i fear

What is your IRL occupation? i'm a full-time university student atm studying psychology!

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? writing of course but for less obvious answers: piano, photography, badminton, archery, history, mathematics, languages, etc etc i like learning basically haha

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? 13 sentinels, somnium files, life is strange, genshin impact, honkai: star rail, zenless zone zero, pokemon. prosekai sometimes. and i love love the ace attorney series so much miles edgeworth among us is the funniest shit i've ever seen

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: fairy type! and it's both mimikyu & ditto really i couldn't pick but i think i said ditto last year so i will say mimikyu this year haha

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! i used to do international math competitions when i was younger! haven't done since the pandemic but they were good fun i do love math & competition haha so put them together i'm bound to enjoy myself

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my brother bought fe3h & i decided to play it too. i simply never made my way out of that rabbit hole

What Fire Emblem games have you played? fe11, fe12, fe16 (+ hopes), & fe17 + i've watched playthroughs of tellius & sov! nothing much different from last year except i've since watched a playthrough of awakening as well. still haven't finished my actual awakening playthrough but one day...

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: i said fe3h for my first last year but i think it might have actually been heroes now that i'm really thinking about it LOL not seriously in the slightest though i'm p sure i dropped it after the first few days until i properly got into fire emblem. don't have much of a favorite but i enjoy 3hopes purely because musou gameplay tickles a very specific part of my brain

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! yuri, alear, est, shez, and lucina

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! yuri. to no one's suprise least of all my own but also the whole ashen wolves house really. you could say i really like those guys in particular

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 nope

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Three Houses: claude & yuri- Engage: gave the pact ring to veyle my first playthrough then reset it after. honestly i don't know though maybe gregory or timerra

Favorite Fire Emblem class? i like mage cannoneer. funny guys

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? dancer except i play you a silly tune on my keyboard. high speed & dexterity and ok magic stats then everything else is probably dogshit LMFAO

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? fear the deer!!!

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: sword, reason - Banes: axes, faith, heavy armor - Budding Talent: bow

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? solm is my favorite but i'd probably want to live in firene

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 separate letters

Current TOA muses: just this guy right here

Past TOA muses? marianne, caeda, est, kvasir, clarisse, & timerra! if there's been anyone else i'm very sorry to have forgotten you haha

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? miss marianne von edmund :softsmile: anyway probably not & she's in good hands now besides

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? i'm sure i do but i wouldn't be able to name it myself haha but i like to think i tend to have some kind of variety in character archetypes and tropes i enjoy writing

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? if i like them enough to put in the effort i could write most anyone i think

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? anything that significantly alters the relationship between two characters. even better if it's for the worse really i do enjoy antagonistic relationships. but yeah i loooove developing relationships between muses. especially with a muse that barely trusts anyone besides themself. yuri never does what i want them anyway to do so it's great for me, really

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? i would really love to write yuri during their time as a student at the officers academy. or an au where they are a student at the officers academy in present time. i'd like to explore their role as count rowe's “son” more in depth one day as one of if not their longest lasting identity (excluding their actual one obviously LOL). less specific but i just love aus in general i would love to do more aus

Favorite TOA-related memories? est & sirius getting their attacks redirected at one another and whiffing all of them always makes me laugh. the harmony lance phalanx strats were also funny i do think fondly of that arena. happyland was really fun though one of my favorite events so far for sure :] i blow a kiss to north island yuri's home away from home & east island week 4

Present or past tense? present tense is my general go to for roleplay but i don't mind either or

Normal size text, small text, no preference? small text is easier for me to parse personally but i don't have any preference from my partners

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 not so much delusions as they are old muses but i do mourn that i never quite got kvasir & timerra off the ground as much as i'd have liked to. if i ever find the time i'd love to revisit both one day. shez is also a constant plague upon my mind i just love a purple guy what can i say

[susiecarter]

hi!! hope you're doing well!! just wanted to check in as you haven't updated your projects page in a while (not that you have to! but you're one of my fav writers of all time so just got worried) also, if you're seeing this, how goes the arranged marriage au? (and if u can sprinkle in some writing advice, that'd be great, tho srsly i feel like i'm asking a little too many things lmao so feel free to ignore)

/o\ :D Hi, anon, and thank you so much for checking in! No need to worry—I'm absolutely fine, I've just been ludicrously busy (my job changed somewhat at the end of last year and I acquired New Responsibilities; figuring out how to handle those and still have as much time as I need to write and to reply to comments has taken me six months :'D but I think I've mostly gotten the hang of it, hence me finally starting to catch up on my inboxes both here and on the AO3).

AND, ngl, I am absolutely delighted to hear that you were looking at the Projects page! :D That was honestly three-quarters me experimenting with the new theme I set up, haha (and the reason I threw a "last updated" date on there was 100% because if I got busy, I knew I was definitely going to start forgetting to update that sucker). I've updated it today, and the good news/bad news breakdown on the arranged marriage AU is: good news, I am still working on it; bad news, it is super not done. :'D I've got some other shorter stuff that should be done sooner than that (including some Bruce/Clark!), but I'm hoping to make that this year's Big Long Bruce/Clark Fic. Obviously I also have not made a whole lot of progress on some other things on that list :D but here's hoping I can fix that this summer!

As for writing advice, I've written a few posts in the past about my process, how I approach managing character identity, and my tl;dr thoughts on characterization, pacing, dialogue, and prose rhythm, if you haven't seen one or another of those! Honestly, working on my writing has been a real process of self-discovery for me :'D so I'd say my bottom-line "if you do nothing else, do this" of writing advice is: try things! Try different techniques, try outlining and not outlining, try doing writing exercises and not doing writing exercises, try sitting down to write a few hundred words each day and try only writing when you feel inspired to do it ... Everybody is different, everybody's brains and subconscious creative sources are different, and stuff that works for other people might work for you or it might not, but you won't know if you don't try it all multiple ways and see which approach feels the best to you.

Personally, I used to not outline at all, and I wrote the scenes that came to me in my head first and then went back to fill in the gaps—and that worked okay, it was fine, but as it turns out I'm MUCH better off when I outline every! single! time! and also my odds of completing a story I'm working on increase about 5,000% if I write it straight through from start to finish. I thought I knew what worked the best for me! I was wrong! :'D But I wouldn't have found out I was wrong if I hadn't decided to try outlining, and then decided to ditch how other people outline and outline in the way that worked for me, and then tried writing straight through, tried writing every single day and sucked at it BUT trying to write every day is actually good for me, it's just I have to let myself not do it if it's not working, &c &c. So, yeah, try stuff, don't get too stuck on doing anything one specific way, and sooner or later you'll figure out how you work, what gets your brain doing its best writing, and you'll be able to get it to do its best writing more and more often. :D

[galvanizedfriend]

I'm having a writer-feels-like-crap moment and just needed to put this out there somehow. It's personal and it doesn't make sense, it's just a head fart. If I had a comment for each message I receive about updates I might actually write more. 🥲

I have no problem being asked about updates. I know some folks don't like that type of ask, and I totally respect that, but it's never been the case with me, I appreciate the interest. Please don't think that this is a rant against people who ask for updates, because it's not. There's nothing wrong with that, at least not for me. However.

I get so many asks about updates. Some anonymous, some not. Some I reply to, some I don't. And that's all fine, it's (mostly) good-natured, there's no harm in it. But I have to wonder where do people go after I post the updates? How come I only get comments/messages about the next update, but never a comment about how they read and if they enjoyed the chapter? How is it that people think it's really helpful to only ever ask for updates but not to leave a tiny simple comment to let the person writing know they've read the actual update when it comes into being?

This is about exchange, right? If you want writers to feed you, then you should feed the writers back. If the writing sucks, if it's not worth anybody's time to read and comment, then that's fine, you don't have to comment on things you hate, in fact you SHOULDN'T. But if you do like it and you still won't comment, that's how it translates to me. I just think everyone hated it. Because I get so many asks about updates, and then when I do post updates, people either don't read, or read and then never say anything about it. To me, that says they hated it, and the sense of excitement I had upon posting dies almost instantly.

I've written three different things this month to see if any of them would stick and make me want to write some more, and even though I had some really nice, really sweet responses to some of those that I cherish so much and have gone back to read again, nothing worked. That's not to say that I won't write anymore, but it's been really hard to push through my writer's block. Every time I sit down to write, I gravitate towards the things that I'm writing for myself and that are probably never going to see the light of day, because those are the ones that I don't care about the feedback, it's just for me. But then I keep getting the asks about updates on my WIPs and I honestly don't even know if the people asking for updates have read the latest chapter. Did you enjoy it? Was it good? Is there anything you're looking forward to? I don't know.

I haven't replied to a couple yet because I don't know what to say anymore. Sorry, no updates, I feel like the worst piece of shit writer there's ever existed and don't really feel like inflicting that upon the world anymore? Cause that's really where I'm at.

I've seen countless posts going around about how commenting/rebloging has been slowly dying because the newer generations have a thing where they think it's weird to comment/reblog days/weeks after stuff has been posted. Some lingering effects of tiktok and instagram culture and people thinking that it's somehow stalkerish or something. I promise you, it is not. You can leave comments on stories posted 20 years ago on livejournal. You can reblog posts from 2014. There's nothing wrong with that. There is NOTHING better for a writer to have someone suddenly going through their entire catalogue of fics and commenting on all of them, or reading through a long story and leaving their impressions as they go, even if it's a single line of comment to say 'hey, just found this, it's great'.

I have in the past left comments on stories that had been on hiatus for YEARS, with no expectations whatsoever, and suddenly the stories came back to life because my comments somehow made a difference. I have never been happier, both because I got to see something I loved being finished and because I may have given someone the tiny little push they needed in order to get back on their writing horse. There are days when I wish for nothing more than that, but I'm an old fandom person whose old fandom friends have almost all left fandom and I'm just here typing to myself, talking to myself and getting very little feedback. (Positive feedback, mind you. The people who hate my things are not shy about letting me know their feelings.)

I don't even know anymore. I've just been feeling very discouraged overall and I honestly don't know what else to do. Maybe this is an end of the year type of blues or whatever, but it is what it is. Updates will come when they come, I guess.

But anyway, to readers out there, doesn't matter if you read my fics or not: if there's anything you enjoy out there, any fics you're following, any stories you'd like some writer to see through to the end, or any writer you wish would post more of their stuff, just remember that the only way they'll ever know there's people out there expecting to see more from them is if you tell them, and the best way to do that is to comment on their stories. It fills writers with anticipation and confidence. Trust me, it works like magic.

[dreamsister81]

Hi! Found this answer on a Redit thread. Your take?

he was probably bi. My friend who i worked with at a record store went out to dinner with him and some band mates and Jeff had some drinks and came on to him. I also knew of a couple of his girlfriends in NYC. He was probably like many people open to many things. That's all I will say.

Then there's this long spiel:

I’m late to the party but I went down a hole with this last year after I too listened to ‘Dream of you and I’ and was like that felt very personal and astute for someone everyone seems to assume is het. I went looking here then too and couldn’t find anything so hopefully the next person like me will find this.

I’m a queer person and have always strongly identified and loved his music but besides just my personal opinion that many of his songs have that ~queer energy~ and coding in them I did find a couple of less subjective things. Unfortunately none which lead to solid answers but might make other queer people like me feel happy and satisfied with what we are seeing in him (people who are die hard 'he could never be gay blah blah he’s had all these gfs' are never going to come around but for the rest of us it might be enough).

First big one is this 1997 article published a month after his death. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1997-06-20-9706200305-story,amp.html it quotes him twice describing himself as a homosexual and gay. Unfortunately I can’t find the original articles from which the quotes are pulled for more context but for the most part... idk if we really need it. Feels to me like the author saw how he was being memorialised (perhaps knew him personally idk) and didn’t want this part of him to get lost. Here are the quotes in the event that article disappears one day too...

It's all about getting to a place where I can let my deepest eccentricities out," Buckley once said in an interview shortly after the Uncommon Ground show. "I just see things a little differently and express myself a little differently and I think it's because I haven't been in one place for very long (in four years, Buckley attended three high schools). So I was seen from my childhood as hyperactive, homosexual, weird, insane, obnoxious, offensive, funny. . . . It's a tremendous point of pain, my inability to relate to the status quo."

"I am a storyteller, lounge singer, I am the entertainer, I am the rock star, I am gay, I am wrong, I am there for the story to go down, the cocktail host-shaman, the little romantic chanteuse wanna-be," Buckley once said, trying to explain the image. He says he wanted it as the cover art for the album, but was talked out of it by friends and the record company. "All the men hated my Judy Garland jacket."

The article also mentions Judy Garland's jacket which he wears on the cover of Grace. Which would be my second obvious clue that he’s not a straight man. Idk how much you know about Judy but she was very much an icon in gay male circles at the time and prior - you can look that up if you’re unfamiliar and find plenty of info. He’s spoken about the jacket and other people have spoken about elsewhere too, you could look for more of that if you’re curious.

More directly from Jeff and related to his music is the Last Goodbye video which includes a clip of two men kissing. Pretty self explanatory. Whole video is pretty homo romantic tbh. Can’t imagine the record label was stoked about that if they didn’t even like the jacket. I imagine he would have had to fight to put that in which... why would you do that if you were straight?

Next I found some random forum thread (https://www.datalounge.com/thread/16719162-jeff-buckley) plenty of trolls and people being like no he’s straight and offering no real commentary but also some people who agreed. One gay guy who met him had assumed he was gay and didn’t find out he had a gf till after his death.

“Who actually knows? I met Jeff a bunch of times in NYC in 92/93. He was a nice guy. My BF went to NYU for grad school and I moved back there after leaving in 1988 when I graduated from there. Being back in the city, I threw myself back in the music scene. I would see him play and see him at other venues. I was 2 years older and liked Jazz. We mainly talked about music and guitars. I never asked, but always assumed he was gay. I was shocked when I found out that Joan Wasser was his girlfriend at the time of his death.”

Someone else there also mentions Judy Garland again and his cover of ‘The Man That Got Away’, you can listen to Jeff sing it on the Mystery White Boy live album. You could take his little intro to that song in a queer way too if you wanted.

Someone else in the thread also links to this 1995 MTV interview + outtakes video and just says “he seems gay in this video” which made me laugh but I mean.. they’re not really wrong. You should watch it either way because it’s a cute interview. https://youtu.be/vcxGwQKW6Ac

From the ‘In His Own Words’ book which fortunately and unfortunately is very obviously curated there are a couple things that are specifically queer. You’ll have to excuse any small errors in this, some of it is hard to read.

“Thanks for the beat, for the sumptuous rhythm you give that I continue at the silent handoff, watch me run baby. My baby’s got a strong right arm. The drag queen... such a queen, queen 4 my lust and juicy hope of happiness somewhere in this world... her back, her shoulders, her ecstatic downcast eyes that lead to her legs... just like my baby oh you should see her, you are both oh such the real thing, such the real thing... I smiled when you weren’t ready (word I can’t make out) the show and I brought you some (cut off page) kissed my cheek and it kept me (cut off page)”

“It’s something you don’t realize You’re funny that way Hatred and fascination Hatred and fascination

For the cultures closest to the earth For the lovers throughout history of the same sex For the feminine in all things For the body itself For the surrender and courage of the heart

DECODE THAT FUCKING EVANGELIST DEVIL DOCTRINE”

I feel like there was one more but I didn’t write it down and I can’t see it just flicking through the book again sorry - if I remember I’ll come back and add it next time I read it. There are other things in the book that also made me think he was queer but they were more subtle. Those are the two things that explicitly mention queerness. There’s also plenty in the book where he writes about sexual attraction to women or alludes to relationships with women so before someone comes at me about not acknowledging that - here I am. I will say though people who are gay have relationships with people of the opposite sex when they’re working themselves out, doesn’t make them any less gay. Also he could be any other variation of queer and be having relationships with people of any and all genders and identities.

You can read into all his lyrics or things he’s said in interviews or his general demeanour or whatever it is you want to. I could keep linking to what I recognise as queer coded but some of it’s more subjective and the rest of it is just too nuanced to try to articulate or argue on the internet.

Sentiment is basically that it’s very likely that he was gay or queer but that it was the 90s and that he grew up in the 70/80s - a time when being gay and out was not something one could comfortably or safely do much of the time. Especially not as a public figure. He was also very young, which unfortunately means maybe he never got to fully realise or authentically live out his queerness. Which really adds another layer of tragedy to his death if I’m honest.

If he was alive today with the evolution of queer language and general understanding we have now who’s to say how someone like Jeff - who was so obviously and openly in touch with his feminine side - would describe his gender identity let alone his sexuality.

Each to their own but if you’re queer and see yourself and your community reflected in him I don’t think anyone can accurately or definitively tell you otherwise.

It's all subjective opinion and an unsubstantiated claim imo...I don't think he was, but, as also claimed, "people that want to insist' won't be convinced otherwise...The Last Goodbye video...they seem to forget, or don't know, the part that involved Merri was inspired by Jean Cocteu who was, if the blurb I read is correct, gay... perhaps that was included to reflect that? Or maybe something similar was in something related to him that inspired? Who knows? They were also friends of her's, maybe she wanted them to be in it for whatever reason. They also miss a crucial thing: Jeff, to me anyway, did not think along lines, and may have acted in ways perceived as gay (hence being called so as a kid), but didn't think of it as being "gay" or "not gay", he just did whatever came, it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay...also, what they take as "codes" may not actually be (and people, please don't @ me, this is only my opinion and impression... I was asked, I'm replying, thanks)...

[zhaoly]

been contemplating some stuff bc of the whole thing with halsin's writing

and this is a thought that I've had for a while since I came from the dragon age games (specifically origins in this case) but... like... I'm just so so over devs using sexual trauma and rape as plot devices

I think more often than not it's handled really poorly, especially if it's a character/companion that you're supposed to interact with a lot and not just a throwaway side lore detail. with DAO it wasn't a major theme in a companion's background but there were some pretty heavy themes of just... rape in general re: broodmothers and some of zevran's background stories.. and i'm just like... i'm! over! it! (and i love that game)

as a disclaimer, i've seen people saying that astarion's story actually deals with this topic in a respectful and meaningful way--i can't speak to that for myself bc i haven't played it yet--and i won't say that it's impossible to write this well into a character's story, but just that my personal opinion in general is that you really. don't need rape and SA to write a meaningful story

i understand that some people might look at halsin's story and say, poor bby he's dealing with trauma from the three years he was used as a sex slave and we need to be able to help him overcome it and i'm like... we don't though. we really DON'T need his character to have been tied up and raped for three fucking years in the name of "character development." we really DON'T need him expressing that it "wasn't all bad" and there were "positives" to it. and we really DON'T need the fans bearing the burden of trying to rationalize this as his coping method since there's no actual rational explanation of both why they wrote this in and how they wrote it.

i honestly don't believe for a second that that drow scene and dialogue was written with the level of nuance and depth that people want to believe. i'm not knocking on people for wanting to believe it, just that i'm taking this at complete face value and think this was treated as a "haha yeah i was a drow rape slave for three years, funny little tidbit about me!" moment (after he fondly chuckles about the drow courtesans remind him of his youth, no less) and nothing more.

i also highly, highly doubt that they would ever have written a female halsin. if they changed nothing but making him a woman, i can guarantee that shit wouldn't have made the final cut. but somehow it's okay for halsin's character to have all of this sexual trauma and be a literal rape slave for three years and then to brush it off as something "not without its positives" like COME on

we can do better with character stories

that's just my onion

[queen-of-the-avengers]

CATFA: Part Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon violence, language, and angst

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

New York is notorious for having parties on every corner, gatherings of hundreds of people, and bringing communities together. Manhattan is an island of many ports, and most of them are having fairs and events people can attend. After dressing like you belong in the 1930s, you attend one of the fairs to get to know people and make yourself known.

Crowds of people line up for the rides as well as the games, and you maneuver through them to get to the far end of the pier. You look up and lock eyes with a complete stranger, but there is something familiar about him. You haven't seen that face in years, the face you left behind.

"Ikaris?" you call out even though he can't hear you.

You push through the crowd to get to the stranger, and when you see him, he's with a younger blonde man that's much shorter. They're both enjoying some games, and you realize that it's not the person you thought. You're about to leave when the man notices you staring.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry," you chuckle. "You remind me of someone I knew. I apologize for staring."

"Don't apologize. You can stare all you want," he flirts. "Do you have a name, doll?"

"Y/N."

"James, but you can call me Bucky." He holds his hand out for you to shake, and when you grab it, he brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. You smile shyly and bite your lower lip. He looks a little young, maybe about eighteen if you had to guess. "This is my friend, Steve."

"It's nice to meet you both. I'll let you both get back to losing this game," you tease.

"Oh, and you think you can do so much better?"

"I know so."

"Alright. Show me how it's done."

He pays for another round and lets you play the game. He thinks you're going to pretend to be bad so he can save the day, but he's wrong. You end up winning it and winning the stuffed whale that's about as big as your head.

"Here, you can have him. It's something to remember me by," you grin and hand Bucky the animal.

"Oh, doll, I'm going to have a hard time forgetting you. I think I need a rematch. This fair is open tomorrow. What do you say? Do I have a chance to redeem myself?"

"You might."

And a chance he got. Then another chance. And another one. And you kept giving him chances even after he's beaten you plenty of times. Even after the fair closed its doors to remodel some of the rides, you and Bucky couldn't stay away from each other. He snuck out of his parent's house to be with you, and you'd walk all around town trying to avoid the officers who patrolled the area.

"Are your parents okay with you being out this late?" Bucky asks you when you two stopped at the local playground.

"My parents died a long time ago. I'm a little older than you might think."

"An older woman, huh? I don't mind," he chuckles.

"If my parents were here, I'd tell them about you. I think they'd like you."

You two walk to the swing set and you take a seat on one of the swings, but Bucky stands next to you as you slowly sway back and forth.

"Do you like me?"

"Yeah."

Bucky walks in front of you and stands between your legs. He walks you backward until you can't go any further, and he slides his hands slowly up your body until he reaches your face. He tucks your hair behind your ear, giving you goosebumps. He waits for you to reject him, and when you don't, he leans into you.

Kissing him feels like magic. Kissing him feels like standing on top of a cliff and letting the warm summer sun heat your skin. Kissing him feels like opening presents as a kid. Kissing him makes you feel like you can finally face up to Markus without fear. Kissing him gives you a feeling you've never felt before, not even with Ikaris.

Everything falls into place when you're with him. This is your moment. This is the moment you fall in love with James Buchanan Barnes. If you two couldn't stay away from each other before this moment, then you truly couldn't be apart well after it. Even when he moved out of his parent's house and started going to the local college with Steve, he made sure to make time for you in his busy schedule.

Spending one year with him has been more fulfilling than spending nine hundred years with Ikaris.

If you see yourself spending years with Bucky, then you need to tell him the truth about you. Ikaris was already an alien when you met him, so he didn't have a hard time believing you weren't human. Bucky might react differently which is why you waited a full year to come clean. He's taking you out to dinner for your first anniversary, and it's overlooking the Big Apple.

"Bucky, how much did this cost you?"

"Nothing is expensive when it comes to you."

There is no one else on the balcony, giving you the perfect opportunity to come clean.

"Listen, Bucky, there's something I have to tell you and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"You're not part of the cartel, are you?" he chuckles.

"No. I'm older than you think I am--"

"Yeah, I know. I don't mind dating an older woman. I'd say you're twenty-five."

"I'm a little older than that. Bucky, I'm nine hundred years old," you rip the bandaid off. "I'm from a planet called Xenia, and I came here in the year 1000. I left my planet to escape the man who abused me and experimented on me."

"Okay, now I'm starting to think you're not joking."

"I just want you to know how much I love you."

You lift your hand and transform it from your human form into an animal's paw. From there, you turn it into a tentacle before returning it to normal. You lift your other hand and create a small fireball out of thin air. The fire solidifies and turns into water before quickly evaporating. You can't seem to look at Bucky in fear he will kick you out of his life.

"If I see a future with you, which I do, I have to tell you who I truly am. I'm not human. I'm telling you this because I love you so much. My feelings for you are true and real, and this entire year has been the best in my entire life. You make me feel safe, but I understand if you never want to see me again. I just hope you understand I never meant to hurt you."

Bucky gets out of his chair, and you think this is it. He's going to leave and never return. Instead, he walks over to you and kneels so that you don't have to look up to see him. He reaches up and wipes the tears that have fallen.

"Y/N, I love you. It's going to take a long time to wrap my head around this, but I don't care if you're not human. I didn't get to know you this past year just to walk out on you now."

"You don't care that I'm nine hundred years old?"

"You could be ten thousand, and I'd still want to get to know you. You're my soulmate, doll." He stands to his full height, bringing you up with him. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. There isn't a more perfect person for you than Bucky. "You gotta tell me more about this, though."

You two break away and take your seats when you begin the story of how you came to be.

Markus Hottle was known throughout Xenia as a benevolent CEO of Interdimensional Republic. They specialized in privacy, safety, and communications throughout Xenia. They had a sister company that would expand IR throughout its solar system and into the vast space outside of it.

Markus had everyone wrapped around his finger, which gave him power like no other. Instead of taking that power and doing good things with it, he let it get to his abnormally large head. It fed his ego, and he got so hungry that he didn't only want to dominate Xenia but the other planets around it.

He came up with a serum created by his lab technicians that would give its user special abilities. This was experimental work that needed a test subject, so what better person to do it than his assistant? It's what gave you your shapeshifting abilities. Markus saw how powerful you could get, but that didn't satisfy him enough.

He wanted more.

Word got around that an Infinity Stone was lurking around Xenia. If Markus could get ahold of it, then he could add that power to his serum. Something of that magnitude would ensure no one could go up against him. He wanted to create an army that could be loyal to him as he tried to rule the neighboring planets of Xenia.

He got ahold of the famous Tesseract which held one of the six Infinity Stones. He tampered with the power o make a better weapon, giving you your second set of powers. With shapeshifting and controlling the elements, he knew he created the perfect serum to give to his army. If this serum got out, then the universe would be doomed.

You couldn't let it leave the lab it was created in.

One thing led to another and you stole the only serum before Markus had a chance to replicate it. The Tesseract was lost after the first serum was made, but he stored some power away just in case this were to happen.

You stole that, too.

You used the serum on yourself and used the last remaining bit of Tesseract power to escape. Your body absorbed it all, giving you the final power of creating portals to different parts of the universe. Markus was pissed you were gone with his creation, but you never looked back. You kept running until you reached Earth, and here you've stayed in peace for the last nine hundred years.

You're not even sure if Markus is still alive at this point, but you're hoping to never find out.

If Bucky loved you before, then he's utterly in love with you now. Telling him your life story made you two grow closer to each other. If you thought the first year with Bucky was an adventure, try the next five years. He never once judged you for what you've done or who you are, and you're grateful for having him in your life.

Steve doesn't know about what you are, but you're okay with leaving that part of you a secret for right now. He has enough to worry about besides you. He and Bucky have been taking a bunch of art classes together as a way to stay close to each other, but there is something bigger that they both want to do.

It's 1941 and the United States announced its role in World War II just after Pearl Harbor was bombed. Steve wanted to enlist because that's who he is but Bucky got drafted. Bucky was forced to go so you decided to enlist as well to support him physically and figuratively.

Women in the army weren't a common thing, but they were allowed to enlist for other jobs like nurses or things of that nature. None were allowed combat roles, but you were going to prove to them that you deserve to fight alongside the men who get to lay their lives down. Your powers would be more useful in the field than in some medical office, anyway.

So, when you, Bucky, and Steve went to enlist, you and Bucky got accepted pretty easily. It's Steve who they denied because of his short stature and small frame. He's much smaller than other men his age, and he has asthma which isn't allowed.

That didn't stop Steve from trying, but every time he tries to enlist, they would always deny him because of the same reasons as the previous one.

Meanwhile, you and Bucky got put into the same boot camp to train. Even if you weren't going into combat, you still needed to know the basic training to survive if something were to happen. Something got mixed up that caused you to go to the only boot camp with all men. The other women were sent somewhere else, but they didn't have any room to move you after the fact.

It became pretty clear you were going to be the center of attention, but you only had eyes for Bucky.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[misfit-among-the-angels]

Perhaps give your dad some credit. It sounds to me more like: when he breathes wrong or says one wrong thing you immediately make it sound like he hates you. I don't know him and it's not my place either. But ever considered that he's just a human, not really realizing his behavior might affect you that way? Have you ever said it out loud to him? Have you ever had a communication about It? It sounds to me like it's a very big communication struggle between the both of you. I'm not even sure that he's aware of how bad it makes you feel.

Remember we are all humans and just try to live our lives the best we think is possible. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.

I understand that you probably are either new or haven't seen my past posts during trips with him and that's ok. But the thing is that traveling with him is a headache sometimes. Like I'd understand one time mishap or whatever but it's not one time, it's constant.

He is quite selfish and forgets that he isn't traveling alone and that I'm not a kid that he can just drag along to anywhere he wants to go. Sure, he pays for everything but half of this trip's planning and stuff was on me and he also expects me to always talk for him and translate everything and shit because he can barely speak English. He forgets that i have my own needs and wants and that we're not tied so he can actually go alone and do stuff (but he doesn't for some reason or if he does he gets super angry and mad 🤷‍♀️). He also forgets that i have a disability and mental health issues and gets mad and accuses me when my disability/mental stuff inconvenience HIS plans.

Now, idk why you are asking me about communicating and why don't you consider that maybe he isn't communicating? Again, maybe your family is different and i hope so because my fucking family is a dysfunctional and abusive disaster. No one knows how to communicate properly and just assumes stuff or creates a problem where it shouldn't be. And yes to all of your questions, i have communicated stuff before everything, but every single trip is the same shit. At this point he should have learned that his behavior is bad and he should change it but no he doesn't. I can repeat stuff but at certain point it gets annoying and at certain point you know that if they actually wanted to change they would have. Like there wouldn't be a problem from my side if he'd ask me not to do stuff, he wouldn't need to repeat it again and again because i am way more considerate and paying attention to how people feel than he is and i am not a selfish person. In the past his behavior would cause me to have bad autistic meltdowns and he'd still not understand even though he'd even have fights, he'd just play a victim card instead. And in the past i mean last year, two, three, fours years ago, pretty much every single trip I have with him. If i don't do what he has planned (in his head) he gets angry at me, if I'm a picky eater and can't decide on food, he gets mad at me and suddenly i am a problem. If i want to rest and sleep more but he is awake and ready to go and has nothing to do but i tell him i need rest and maybe i don't want to go anywhere, surprise surprise he gets mad too. And like ok, i could ignore him getting mad at me easily but the biggest problem is that he talks with himself out loud and i can hear what he says and those things aren't nice and they are about me, most of the time how i am sleeping and ruined a whole day because i am resting or whatever else and he usually exaggerates it too, for example if it's 11am and I'm still in bed he'd say that it's 1pm now. And yes, i have called him out for this behavior in the past and nothing has changed. Oh, and if it's really bad he might threaten to cancel the trip and no more trips. 🤷‍♀️ And yes, this sort if behavior of his has made me hurt myself a lot in the past and he is very ignorant of that too. So yes, he is borderline abusive, he used to be way worse when i was growing up tho.

Now, in comparison i have traveled with other people too, ex-friends and also my girlfriend and i have never experienced this sort of stuff when traveling with anyone else. Why? Because i know i am not traveling alone and i always check in and ask what others want to do etc. and nobody else had a problem with my picky eating or needing to rest or anything else. You can literally ask my girlfriend about this (she has tumblr too) and she'd say that we never had any of this shit while traveling.

So no, the problem isn't me even though it is very easy to blame me and i understand because in the end i am always a problem 🤷‍♀️ and no i never want people to act perfectly, it's just that I can now see which behaviors are bs and which are not and rant about them, especially when it's about my absolutely dysfunctional family.