#some of the arguments being made really alienate me im not gonna lie!

[sunieepo]

tbh i've purposefully avoided posting anything about AI art onto any of my public accounts because i just know my opinions on it wouldn't be popular. and i'm saying this as someone who is really, REALLY passionate about art - creating and critiquing art are literally my lifelong passions. but so much of this AI art debacle has become about people making bizarre declarations about what is or isn't "real art" - defining it using nebulous metrics like "the soul" and such.

the ethical issues with AI art as it currently exists are undeniable, and i wish people would focus on that instead of trying to define what "real art" is. because the thing is, gatekeeping the definition of "real art" has been going on for centuries! there are still people today who think video games aren't real art, even. a few decades ago, there were people who thought movies (cinema, film) couldn't be real art! the definition of art evolves and grows, and i resist and question any effort to suppress that.

some thought exercises for people who think they can define "real art" so simply:

is animal-created art real art? are pufferfish nests real art? are elephant paintings real art? does an animal have to reach a certain threshold of intelligence in order for its creations to be considered art?

is duchamp's fountain real art? for those unaware, this was a mass-manufactured urinal that the artist signed and submitted for an art exhibition as is, with no alterations aside from signing it with a marker.

is digital art real art? remember that digital art comes from machines translating human input into pixels on a screen. is this an acceptable use of machine intervention in art creation because the software performing these actions was not created using machine learning? is it because the human has more perceived control over the output?

is photography real art?

is music real art? is music composed using digital software real art? if a song utilizes a heavy amount of sampling, is it still real art?

many digital artists use software that allows them to create layers with filter options that adjust the colors of the layers beneath them using an algorithm (overlays like multiply, screen, etc). in this case, the colors of their images have been digitally altered by a piece of software in ways that most artists don't fully understand. is the image created as a result of this process still real art? can the artist claim full human ownership of the colors, which were digitally altered using a machine algorithm? would your opinion on this change if the machine algorithms behind overlay layers were created using machine learning?

some digital artists make use of "pen stabilization", a type of software algorithm that manipulates tablet pet inputs into a steadier curve to remove jitter. are lines drawn using heavy amounts of stabilization still the artist's? can the artist claim human ownership of lines drawn using near 100% stabilization?

many digital artists will use stamp brushes to get past having to repeatedly draw a static pattern, such as to fill the leaves in a tree. this is essentially a glorified version of copy and pasting repeatedly, except that a software algorithm introduces semi-random rotations and color jitter to give a more natural appearance. is a tree drawn using this process still real art? does your opinion on this change if the artist created the stamp themself, vs downloading it from another artist? does it change depending on how granular the artist was with making manual adjustments to the stamp outputs?

what proportion of an image is allowed to come from stamps, filters, and software tool usage before it stops being real art? is photobashing real art? what percent of an image has to come from freehand drawing for it be considered real art?

are edits of other people's art real art? does your opinion on this change if the editor had the original artist's consent? what percentage of the pixels has to have been changed by the editor before it is worthy of being considered real art?

one popular usage of "AI art" is to apply an "AI filter" over an existing image, which takes a drawing and then utilizes a machine learning based model to alter the image pixels. is an image created using this process real art?

if a person generates an image using a machine learning model, such as stable diffusion, and then draws over that image, is the resultant drawn-over image real art? what percentage of the pixels has to come from a human hand for it be considered real art? what if it was only 1 or 2 pixels that were manually manipulated? what if the only thing a human adds is an overlay filter?

if a person generates an image using a machine learning model, such as stable diffusion, and has very strong intent and emotion about how they want the resultant image to look, tweaking their prompts and specifically trying many different options before the output is in accordance with their vision, why is this not real art? is it because they did not specifically intend on every single pixel in this image? what percentage of pixels in an image has to have specific human intent for an image to be considered real art?

in 3d animation, physics simulations are used to calculate the positions of moving objects, and then artists manually adjust the outputs in accordance with their desired product. spider-verse, for example, was partially created using a combination of "traditional" software and some in-house created machine learning models. is the animation created using this software real art? does it only become real art once a human has gone in and reviewed it? is an individual frame of animation that hasn't been reviewed by a person and was generated via software and simulations not real art? would your opinion of this change if the machine learning models had not been created in-house? would it change if the training datasets had been acquired unethically?

if a traditional artist closes their eyes and splashes paint at a canvas, is the resultant splash of paint real art? if the artist had no emotion or specific intent when casting the paint across the canvas, is this still real art? are pollock paintings real art?

can a mistake be real art? if an artist tips over a can of paint and creates a beautiful spill, could they present the canvas as is with no further alteration, and that resultant image be considered real art?

can art styles be "stolen"? do artist own their art styles?

do you support copyright law? how much inspiration is allowed to be taken from something before it is considered plagiarism vs derivative, and should derivative works be punished?

what is the precise difference between the way ai art "steals" art styles, vs the way a human being takes inspiration from them? remember that many machine learning models take directions and instructions from humans, and often do not learn in a vacuum devoid of human intervention.

some very popular artists, who i will not name, have been accused of having "soulless" art. these artists "mass-manufacture" their images to look very similar and consistent and have seen a lot of financial success as a result of their repetitive works. is their "soulless" art still real art, even if it was made completely without the use of AI technology?

were you bothered by images generated by dall-e, back before stable diffusion became popular? did you consider images generated by dall-e to be art? did you consider dall-e to be unethical?

what is it about machine learning models that separate any software derived from it from software made without the use of machine learning? why is the usage of an art program that did not come from machine learning seen as ethically superior? what is ethically wrong with machine learning models? is it only if the training dataset was scraped without acquiring explicit consent? is it only if the learning was performed supervised vs unsupervised?

can software itself be art? can you find artistry in the way a program has been written - in the lines of code created by a human? in the intent and emotion of the programmer who crafted a piece of software?

please note i'm not trying to be condescending by asking these, and don't assume you know my answers to these questions, either. these are questions i asked myself when i was chewing through these debates and trying to quantify exactly what i found so objectionable about many of these "what constitutes 'real art'" takes.

reblogs off because i don't want to engage with strangers on this topic. i'm open to debate but only if you're going to be civil about it. please remember that i'm an artist too.

[hgfstreamchats]

100 Scariest Movie Moments

Me Evening, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Evening! just us? Me At the moment. Jalaperilo cool cool. hope the usual suspects turn up. i could do with a laugh Me You too? Jalaperilo yup. must be cause its halloween. makes everyone really shitty even though its the best holiday of the year, apart from pancake day

Me There we are! Jalaperilo yey! Jalaperilo If you're interested in horror and havent seen it yet, 'A History of Horror with Mark Gatiss' is a very good series from the BBC Me I think I absolutely need to see this. Jalaperilo he has a love for hammer horror and its fascinating to watch him go in depth on early horror Me Your horror scene fascinates me. You do so much with so little. Jalaperilo urgh Me As you do. Jalaperilo i love the birds Me Frightening and plausible. Birds are loveless beings. Jalaperilo they are Jalaperilo they threw brids at tippy hendren Me Just chucked them. Jalaperilo how did this beat out 28 days later? Me Gross injustice. Me So their eyes are cortical patches, basically. Jalaperilo haha. if only shockwave had made something already creepy even fucking scarier Me Give him time. Jalaperilo please lock him up haha Me Oh, Argento films. Jalaperilo your fave Me Well, maybe you should have been a better kisser. Jalaperilo it was really her, she just got bored of pretending he was good Me Hah! Me How did *this* beat out 28 Days Later? Jalaperilo right? weird. its not scary i love the wizerd of oz Me "Those terrible little vests." Jalaperilo what is it about british children that other countries think are creepy all the kids i know are little shits Me I've always wondered about that one myself. Jalaperilo I wonder if Alien is gonna be on this list, cause that is quite horror like Me Do you want me to tell you if it is? Jalaperilo sure. i dont think im gonna last the full 3 hours lol Me It is. Jalaperilo \O/ Me I didn't expect anyone to! I intended this to be one of those things people can drop in and out of, but no one else is dropping in. Jalaperilo cowards Me I thought she was going to leave it at "Don't buy a house." Jalaperilo hahah i thought all of the USA was built on indian burial grounds? Me True! Jalaperilo i love how Bela Lugosi's accent influenced all future instances of dracula Me You just can't improve on it. Jalaperilo sings is a stupid film signs* Me It has a terrible ending. Jalaperilo it just doesnt make sense why the aliens would come to earth Me The dimmest aliens in the history of the universe. Jalaperilo lol tony todd! what a voice Me It's a *very* nice voice. Jalaperilo urg WHAT Me And this beat out Bees In the Mouth. Jalaperilo god people will say anything as a talking head Me They don't even show it, like they're properly ashamed for including it. Jalaperilo haha. i watched that film multiple times as a kid and it never scared me Me The only human horror film I've ever been frightened by is The Brave Little Toaster. Jalaperilo understandable all the cybertronians i follow or seen have expressed a dislike for that film Me It's just not necessary. Jalaperilo this is the only shyamalan film i like, but my dad did spoil it for me so i knew everything already Me And the twist is basically everything. Jalaperilo ikr? what a twat Jalaperilo reanimator! my fave of all time! Me Isn't that the one where one of the humans sounds eerily like Ratchet? Jalaperilo yes! and he messes around injecting green shit into things as well! Me Ratchet's no longer allowed to judge me. Jalaperilo i think the cat scene should have been the example. the swinging light makes it so much scarier Me I don't think that's making love. Jalaperilo it still gets me Me Although she doesn't seem to be tied down to anything. Jalaperilo also her dad's zombie corpse is also in the room its so messe up but so much fun Me Kinky? Jalaperilo im kinkshaming Me Ooh! Jalaperilo i havent seen this film looks intereszting Me I'm very tempted to stream it someday. Me I can understand why humans cringe at this one. Jalaperilo bones and teeth are awful blood and guts im fine Me That sound would bother me too if I only got one set of teeth. Me More teeth. Jalaperilo wasnt there a recent story of an old dentist office that was being redeveloped and they found thousands of teeth in the wall? Me That's even worse. Jalaperilo ikr? why keep them? its like you keeping used transistors or something Me Exactly. There's no non-horrifying reason for it. Jalaperilo whoa! r-word! Me But the corpse head was lovemaking. Seems legit. Jalaperilo but what could have been the difference! Me We'll just never know!

Me Hello there, Nickel! Minibot-Nickel Heya knocky~ Jalaperilo yo! Minibot-Nickel Heya~ Me I like how the rabbit is the line. Jalaperilo animals are where we draw the line. fuck other humans Me It's a reasonable line. Minibot-Nickel people in animal suits freak me out Jalaperilo *insert furry joke* Minibot-Nickel *shudders* Me There really isn't. Minibot-Nickel you know... hearing my tea maker brewing is probably not helping with the scary aspect of the show XD Jalaperilo haha Me Oh, I like The Vanishing. Jalaperilo mark kermode is one of our greatest film critics he's the only one i'll really listen to Me He seems like he knows his scrap. Minibot-Nickel *holds out rust sticks* want some? Me Thank you! Jalaperilo he's incredibly fair in his critiques Minibot-Nickel so THAT'S mr. del toro~ Jalaperilo one for you ko! Me Indeed! Me That seems short-sighted. Jalaperilo the oldies are the best Me No arguments here. Jalaperilo ok.im tapping out. enjoy the rest of the countdown! Me Good night, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo ill have to look up what number 1 is Me It's...a movie, to be sure. Jalaperilo good night knockout-cybertronian! no way! good night nickle! Minibot-Nickel Night, night, jalaperilo-firend~ Me And he just casually props them up. That won't go wrong. Minibot-Nickel This halloween, i want to give myself nightmares~ Me 'Tis the season. Minibot-Nickel if this doesn't do it, then i'm gonna watch ghost stories/adventures/hunters tomorrow~ Me And even if it does! Minibot-Nickel i'll drink to that~ Minibot-Nickel phone just rang and scared the hell out of me Me Rude of you, phone. Minibot-Nickel on the up side, mun's going swimming tomorrow Me He just toddles out the door. Minibot-Nickel i'm curious what the hell it was Me You're not the only one. Minibot-Nickel (red, white, blue, finials and a judgmental stare) Minibot-Nickel i've always wanted to see the hills have eyes Me It's a rough one. Minibot-Nickel oh? spoilers? Me This happens, for starters. Minibot-Nickel OAO Minibot-Nickel now this sounds fun Me That human has a fun job. Minibot-Nickel i wonder what would happen if a realistic zombie movie was made? Me 28 Days Later was fairly realistic. Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll have to look into it. though i can say with confidence than zombies wouldn't last long in florida Me Florida, where no one should ever be. Minibot-Nickel the hell state Minibot-Nickel what was that one movie about the haunted big rigs who menaced the humans looking for fuel? Me That's the one! Minibot-Nickel which one? i've seen it, but can't remember the name Me Duel? Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll haveta rewatch it Minibot-Nickel kill it with fire Me Kill it with extra fire. Me I think it's fairly obvious he wants to frag him. And also ruin his life. Me No, no. You knew exactly what their relationship was. Why are humans like this? Minibot-Nickel what did i miss? Me The Hitcher, the big gay horror road movie. Also The Fly. Minibot-Nickel the big gay horror road? Minibot-Nickel children are demons confirmed Me Human ones especially. And yes, The Hitcher's a very twisted romance. Minibot-Nickel human children.... why do they exist? Minibot-Nickel one nearly busted my audials... Me How did that happen? Minibot-Nickel teen sex SHOULD be met with carnage and i think the kid didn't get a sweet they wanted at a checkout line Me I do love that movie. Minibot-Nickel if ya wanna do a movie night one day, i'll make the sweets and some high grade drinks~ Me Sounds lovely! Minibot-Nickel it'll be so great~ Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this Me I like the title. Minibot-Nickel that guy has an unfortunate last name Me Which one? Minibot-Nickel rockoff Me Hah. Me Well, good luck, kids! Minibot-Nickel *chinhands* Me HAH! Today Me Who sleeps with a single light shining on their face? Minibot-Nickel no one sane Me Nothing of value was lost. Me HERE WE ARE! Minibot-Nickel i bet you anything, soundwave'd do that XD Me I'd believe it. Minibot-Nickel vos did that to me once and i couldn't sleep for a week after Me Oh, yes, yes, this is what I love. Best of movies, best of humans. Minibot-Nickel humans really have a wide variety of ways to kill each other Me Well, so do we. Minibot-Nickel true. very true Me Astrotrain? Minibot-Nickel astrotrain? Me "Lie down and the devil will come have sex with you." Minibot-Nickel did astro fuck unicron? Minibot-Nickel we're at jacobs ladder Me I think so? Me There we are. Apologies for that. Minibot-Nickel it's no prob~ Minibot-Nickel "torture is love" the djd's motto Me I see why you're so popular throughout the multiverse. Minibot-Nickel believe it or not, but i got the hell out of dodge Me Really! Minibot-Nickel yup. i'm a free range medic now. the others are either smeared or atomic dust now Me Worse things to be than a free range medic. Minibot-Nickel true. might open up a bakery Me Ooh! Minibot-Nickel yep~ roll out the sweets~ Me The noblest profession. Minibot-Nickel and of course, in the back room come the medicinal sweets~ Minibot-Nickel i have an uncle named damien Me It's a nice name, honestly. Minibot-Nickel scream sounds funny Me You know, I've never seen it! But it does. Me This one *technically* has eye business, heads up. Minibot-Nickel wanna wait for it to buffer for a bit? Me But no damage to the eyeball itself, if that makes a difference. Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this so bad Me It's a good one. Minibot-Nickel love the pun you made earlier Me Not the eyeballs. The area around them. Me I do my best. Minibot-Nickel oooooo top ten~ Me Starscream, hello! You're just in time for the final stretch. Minibot-Nickel hello screamy~ Starscreamapillar Excellent. I was hoping to not miss the whole stream. Me Sproing. Starscreamapillar The scariest thing in the world is the neighbours. Not inaccurate... Me Not at all. Minibot-Nickel (i was too oblivious to notice highschool hell XD) Minibot-Nickel there's nothing more frightening than an expert weilding powertools Starscreamapillar You mean a medic? Me I was about to say, I take offense. Me Look at that rowdy old man go. Starscreamapillar These descriptions, without having actually seen the movie in full, make it sound very bizarre, but not scary. Me I found it bizarre, but not all that scary. Me Why would you follow a sound? Ever? Starscreamapillar Why would you follow that sound, in particular? Me Natural selection, presumably. Starscreamapillar That is not the best way to stab someone. Me Just wave the knife around and see what happens. Starscreamapillar Also not how to correctly fall down the stairs. Me Poor marks, stairs human. Go back and do it right. Starscreamapillar Dull surprise. Me Except for that. Minibot-Nickel XDDD Me Good for the mother. She's living her best afterlife. Minibot-Nickel it's what i wanna do in the afterlife Starscreamapillar Space crackers. They contain more sodium than earth crackers. Me And more space. Minibot-Nickel OAAAAAAOOOO Starscreamapillar They really think that a fish is the scariest? Me They thought Willy Wonky's boat ride was worse than 28 Days Later. Starscreamapillar . . . This list seems highly flawed. Me Maybe that was their logic. Give the first place to something no one would agree with as the scariest. Me Oh, no! A shark is doing shark things in the only place on Earth a shark lives! Starscreamapillar The horror! Me "But statistically speaking, almost surely won't!" Me Alright! It's late, but just one more for the road. Starscreamapillar Excellent. Minibot-Nickel one more three hour movie thing? Me Yes, Nickel. One more three hour movie thing. Me Still scarier than Jaws. Starscreamapillar It truly was, David S. Pumpkins. Minibot-Nickel true Starscreamapillar Absolutely. Me Well, on THAT note, I'm off into the dark to see what made our power glitch. Where nothing can possibly go wrong. Starscreamapillar Try not to be eaten by scraplets. Minibot-Nickel i'm gonna ty to not murder the neighbors~ they have their music blaring. it's midnight Me Just make sure to dissolve the spark chambers. Good night, everyone! So glad you could make it! Starscreamapillar Good night, and thank you for the nonsense, even if I missed most of it. Minibot-Nickel *hugs the knocky and screamy* Me You caught the choicest part.

[taiey]

The continuing adventures of “taiey writes liveblogs that probably only make sense with a transcript of the movie to line it up with”.

no peter please don't go after him

he really does get the most dramatic lines—ooh, green reflection in the window!

wow, that's. She really does ask for validation a lot of times

:((( this whole goblin kit thing is really elaborate? like, i thought you would've failed science. there is mechanical engineering. and chemical. for bombs.

That's a really, really stable spider web that is also flexible enough to support them without clinging, at that angle

[obligatory evil meteor mention]

Surprisingly evil-looking mail delivery guy! Uuunless you're her dad and you live here or. Oh, okay.

Oh, May.

But, like, no pressure or anything.

!!! her ring.

ahh evil evil scooter. of evil.

Harry this is not a good way to have an honest conversation. Stop punching your friend. No, I don't care that you're in costume, he's not, that makes it—DON'T STAB HIM!

I guess by the time your friend is yelling at you about his father, while wearing his green goblin costume and standing on his green goblin scooty-fly, it is acceptable to tell your friend his father was the green goblin, despite said father's dying request.

Dude! Attempts at vengeance on your best friend for murder of your father are NOT an excuse for massive property damage! I hope you pay for the repairs OH AND ALSO did no one get hurt by that massive shower of bricks onto a busy street??

"I'm still here! And now I have a lightsaber!"

oh no what if your new superpowers don't cover falling from heights? (I'm sure they do, I know he dies at the end of the movie.)

I wonder, again, if Peter took him out of the goblin costume first. like. awkward.

Wait, what? I thought when that guy jumped/fell out a window he died.

There's marshland in New York? With a terribly ill-secured particle physics laboratory?

OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE! you can't even check how much mass is in the reactor? How many birds with superpowers does New York have now?

Also awkward: imagine if those cops had gotten there slightly differently and fallen into the spinny thing toooo...

Go. See. Him. and hope maybe he doesn't remember you're spiderman if he doesn't remember you saved his liiiffffe  (oh, good.)

Hey, Peter, you maybe want to. idk. Tell MJ. Some relevant facts, about her friends and his father and.

yikes that's some horrifying sand movement. like. yeeesh no.

Oh... your hand cannot pick up your daughter's locket. :( —yes! go hand, reformed hand! Woohoo! :D

Hey, nice green-ing, sand. Good job. Stripy and everything.

Yeah dude no. Don't start talking about spidey now. The other stuff was kinda okay but not, well.

Okay so when there's a large metal beam swinging about nearby your window... maybe... not? with the walking towards it?

Man, what is wrong with this crane?

you did not pick a good guy to insult peter parker to, whatsyaname. eddy. Ed. idk.

“YOU TELL MY WIFE thank you.” heh. Slight, teeny, tiny, character development, I love.

He didn't see you there, I didn't see you with a camera. Where'd you get the camera from, Pete?

Ed. Shut up. He's paying you $50 for a front page shot, he does not value anything about you.

Like, that could be a conflict for Peter, ‘i could stage that and get a steady job’ buut I already know the plot of this movie and can kinda guess how Edward gets that shot.

That is an excellent Stan Lee cameo.

...how much... exactly... has harry lost of his memory... if he doesn't know he has money...

SUPER EVIL REFLEXES!!

...oh, Mary Jane.

...oh no don't you be jealous.

This'd be a really awkward parade thing if he decided to not in faaact show up oh no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

Wow, that sure is a conveniently placed "Sand & Stone" truck. Where'd you get that shovel?

Wow, bullets work surprisingly well considering he's made. of sand.

[obligatory note of happiness about the MJ&Harry bit. and. honesty.]

dude put yer mask back on

ehhhh look the thing about the humble never-asks-to-be-thanked thing is that it doesn't work when. this.

Oh my goodness he asks her? He suggests it?? Peter, no!

"No, Spider Man, no!" I relate to this kid.

like, i've seen gifs ofit, that shekissed him but i did not realise he aSKS HER TO

Yeah, same, Mary Jane!

haha but maybe this time mary jane won't be kidnapped

The sand is now driving a truck. Poorly.

Yeeeesh no, stop, no, ~sheriff~? You’re not.

tbh what if you just. Let him take the money. So much property damage going on here. So very much.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T KISS SOMEONE. WHILE PREPARING TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT. IF.

This guy... is gonna end up bringing you that ring at the worst possible moment during your inevitable argument. Isn't he. Isn't he, Peter.

You could also try telling him you got fired, MJ. He knows that feeling! Kind of.

...not that you should say that, Peter. 'cause it's kind of only kinda.

how have you not noticed how terribly your spider man/actress analogies go over. every single time.

Like in a literary sense it's kinda cool, there are parallels between their experiences, kinda... BUT NOT RIGHT nooow

shhuuuttt uppp (this is all like 5 seconds, i just keep. pausing.)

Hey, what could make Mary Jane feel worse right now? ENTER GWEN STACY.

ENTER GWEN STACY TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KISSED SPIDERMAN

“Who kisses Spiderman?? :D” "Me. Most days. When I'm not mad at him for beiNG TERRIBLE."

I. I'm not sure. like. what the point of that question is. There is no good answer.

No. He did not, MJ. He had idea how it would make you feel, because BOY I DUNNO.

um. usher guy. no. SHE JUST LEFT, WHY WOULD YOU SEND THE CHAMpagne in anyway, whyy

Beep!

Oh, hey! I was right! That other guy did die, probably ...aand it wasn't your fault. technically.

We chased down the wrong guy?

Pfff.

Yeah so I think so far he really hasn't killed anyone. Not counting Norman or Ock on technicalities.

Does he feel guilty? About you or about... okay, don't say "I don't need you" to Mary Jane Watson. That's a bad idea.

The evil ooze has been hanging out in your bedroom for ?? weeks and it's only now that it attacks you? infects. thing.

"Hey, this was a lot quicker than last time I made a new costume."

Spiderman is just, like, an accepted traffic hazard by now, right?

Oh, I'm so glad he's being suspicious of the black goop.

...you're not a biologist, but you can recognise a symbiote on a molecular level in minutes when it's AN ALIEN.

dude please realise you look super evil now. even to —haha like you shouldn't smash people's cameras but also haha

"Little did Spiderman know, I have TWO cameras!"

OK I'll admit the black is legitimately good for hiding on dark ceilings

TRAIN ASSISTED WEB KICK!

oh gosh the body horror from this sand thing—hope that pipe wasn't important--ooh, water works.

...also hope this large tank of pressurised water isn't important and won't flood annnything else.

EVIL HAIR-PULLING-DOWN

...that's... kinda a valid point? but. I mean sure, he should fix the door, probably, just not being polite

Hey, Peter, you made a good decision! Nice! AND STAY OFF.

Aunt May isn't having any of this "murder can be good" stuff.

revenge == the symbiote ??

Waitress/Singer is a job? ...also maybe you should tell your boyfriend about thi—Harry paints? Cool!

(Does Harry know that MJ's dating Peter?)

Yell at people and they offer you oranges?

Hee Ursula! :D

He also cooks! And they dance!

M. J. Do not. Noooooo whyy

oh no. noo. different no. :((( no. Please, Harry. Keep your eyes off 'the ball' and ahhh—hey, there's that scene that wasn't in the VHS version.

Harry?? This is like 20% of the reason you wear a mask, dude!

whiiiplaaash oh my goodness ahh poor Mary Jane.

:((( see this is the kind of quality anguish you can get when you don't just discriminately kidnap, other supervillains take note

pete. pete. pe ter par ker. "I'm breaking up with you" is not. in fact. a good segue to "Let's get married"

Took them three movies but they finally made acting plot relevant. It's not! that hard!

AND THEN. YOU GO BACK TO PETER. AND PRETEND TO BE HIS AMNESIAC BEST FRIEND oh my goodness and then you use her omitive lie about the shoW AND THEN WE GO FULL SM1

“but. but she broke up with *you*, because she was in love with *me*. !!”

what. Why are. you winking?

Bright green coffee sign!

nooo. emotional anguish---->TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES

Right, Harry, overall—because I mean high marks for ingenuity and not-kidnapping, but—you're really lacking on the follow through here, like for keeping up the act. And wow that is a lot alcohol in front of you.

Harry please notice the ominous black spidey suit. Please. Soon.

harry im not sure you've noticed but you have blades. on. ur arm.

Takes symbiote!Pete to point out the obvious: that Norman.didn't.deserve you.

Kinda funny how after all that the picture in question is not, in fact, of Peter actually doing anything wrong.

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED? IT'S not even actually symby-spidey?

Yeah, no, Ed. I can forgive a lot of things. But reposts with the watermarks edited out? Not that.

hahahah

Symby-Pete likes Ursula's food?   . . .ah

*hair flick*

water doesn't kill him forever. :o

OH MAN PETER NO.

symbiote-Pete spends money recklessly.

Oh man, Gwen is so nice.

...alien meteor ooze teaches you to play jazz piano? ...and dance?

blonde hair and the black headband and their clothes and his hair and her earrings... it's a Look.

GWEN STACY IS SO NICE! ("That was all for her? I'm so sorry.")

NO.

get. out.

geddoouutt

"Who are you?" "Well, Mary Jane, I reckon I'm the exact feeling of a church spire silhouetted against the storm clouds, as lightning crashes in the background."

okay so eddy, brocky, rock boy. don't pray to God to kill people. Don't... don't do that.

How. Exactly. Do you recognise the face of a guy you barely know, four floors up, while he's tearing an alien ooze suit off his skin.

oh no his hair's still black

Continuing adventures of That Awful Door.

I hope Aunt May knows he's Spider man, because otherwise there is just waaay too much backstory to explain here.

I think she also wants him to keep the ring so she doesn't have to wear it.

“Spiderman... didn't have those teeth last time... right?”

Maybe not? with the watching her through her window? Also considering last time your saw her in person you hit her maybe not do that first part in person, perhaps.

"On Broad-way."

...you also locked the normal one away? Or, no, that was earlier this night. You just were using the evil one, and stowed that away. ok. gotcha.

Harry! Harry, you could do. a good. ...oh no. peter don't come also what happened to his face??

:(((

OH MAN. BERNARD! i don't think this is gonna work. but. thank you. for. saying that. [it worked!:D]

what happened to your face do you still have superpowers if you're not healing.

It's the real spiderman! He stopped in front of an american flag for a sec!

this reporter overuses the word 'seemed'

Brick!

you're stiiilll fallling

Listen MJ most of the webbing is really strong, you can actually move along it and even if you fall through one level you've got a decent chance of catching the next.

this reporter is so alarmist. and that one.

Goblin bomb!

"I'm not here for you~"

Burn it & smash it! :D

That kid is awesome! ("Film's extra.")

or. you could. shoot web. and not. jump. And maybe get her down somehow? Ground level would be... safer... lotta floors, elevators proabably not working...

why did that work?

ohh. noise.

oh... kay...

[tragic backstories make everything better]

i f o r g i v e y o u .. ..

i like to think he becomes also a superhero. subtler. smaller. never quite noticed, but. bit by bit.

why in the world is gwen at harry's funeral

(mj you do in fact have a job. and. a song to finish singing. um. but anyway)

"Girl at the final battle" yes. Her. Excellent.

The credit songs this time are so... gentle...

(Balance of probabilities Harry died intestate but maybe he drew up a will at some point when he liked Peter and didn’t revoke it and then they can go help Marko’s daughter, perhaps? Maybe.)