#some of 'em are just lies lol

[megaclubdiolis]

Michinaga × woman

[todayisafridaynight]

aren’t we getting kiwami 3 eventually? why are some people so upset? /gen

TECHNICALLY rgg just said they'd LIKE to make a YK3, they never said it's a definite plan or it'd happen anytime soon: it depends on if mine's voice actor can come back to reprise his role

as for why some people are upset ermmmmm good question!

[opiumvampire]

just got model scouted by a french milf selling croissants at the farmers market for her tights brand side hustle 🧍‍♀️

[pomefioredove]

if its ok can i request a overblot boys and ruggie and kamil with a reader that just forgets to eat? like they can go the whole day without eating then suddenly they just get dizzy cause they haven't eaten and when they get asked why they passed out/not ate they're like "lol yeah i forgot to eat my bad gang🧍🏻" they're just so nonchalant and act like its whatever😭its ok if not if this makes you uncomfortable!! Love your blog pookie and make sure YOU eat properly💥💥

ahh... just like me fr. this ask actually reminded me to eat, thank you!

summary: reader who forgets to eat type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, ruggie, azul, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Riddle is also guilty of this

it's not that he's neglectful, it's just that...

...well... he's a little neglectful

it's usually Trey who has to remind him to take breaks from studying

none of that will stop him from scolding you, though

"What were you thinking, going a whole day without a meal? It's no wonder you're always so tired!"

expect lots of snacks from him after he's done berating you

he sends someone every day to make sure you've had something

(both a blessing and a curse)

you'll be in your room then suddenly Che'nya is there asking if you had lunch yet

and if not, you'll be recieving an invitation to Heartslabyul for tea

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona can't be bothered to ask why you're always so... out of it

he just assumes that's your personality

he even teases you for it, once or twice

then Jack offhandedly mentions that you rarely eat until dinner, and he gets all... worried

Ugh

suddenly, his room is always stocked with your favorite snacks from Sam's

what? no, they're not for you. he's just taken a liking to 'em. but you're welcome to have some if you'd like

his act is unconvincing

"What? Stop looking at me like that. I'm not some sap. I'm just making sure you don't go passing out on me,"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ruggie is worried that Crowley's cut your food rations

he'd been mooching off of you for a few months now, after all

plus, he knows what it's like to go hungry

of course, he doesn't outright ask. he doesn't want to embarrass you or anything

he just... casually offers to split meals and comes over once a week with half of his forage greens

"What, this? Nah, I just had extra. What, you're complaining about free food? Shishishi,"

you repay the gesture by making him a few meals, and it becomes a little tradition between the two of you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

why, oh why, does Azul have to care about you so much?

he's become familiar that exact look on your face; distant, dizzy, disoriented...

and he's caught himself mid-scold far too many times

"Have you no sense of self-preservation? You can't keep relying on others to care for you; you'll only be taken advantage of,"

...and, of course, he's the poor soul who cares for you

he convinces himself that verbal reminders cost nothing

then he starts sending the tweels to make sure you've eaten

and then he insists you drop by the Mostro Lounge at least once a day

it's not that he's giving you his time and energy for free

he's just making an investment in you!

that's it. NOTHING ELSE! (<- lies)

(cue tweels giggling in the background)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

poor Jamil

first Kalim, and now he has you to worry about, too?

of course; he has no obligation to help. that's what he tells himself

nothing will happen if he just ignores you

...except that sinking feeling in his stomach

Sevens, help him...

he starts letting you help around the kitchen

just... tidying up, doing the dishes, etc

and if you happen to want a bite of what he's cooking? ohoho, who is he to deny you the chance to test for poison?

(feigns to mention that these dishes have already been tasted)

"Good? Why, I'm flattered. You're welcome to help any time- how about tomorrow?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Kalim will never pass a chance to host

you offhandedly mention that you forget to eat sometimes? just come over for breakfast!

and lunch

and dinner!

and you'll stay for dessert, too, won't you?

he's nothing if not gracious, and he has a penchant for taking care of others

he likes feeling useful, after all

just be ready to give him your full thoughts and feelings on every dish; he's already making a mental list of your favorites to serve every time you come over

"Hungry? No problem! We have all your faves waiting for you. What music do you want to listen to while we eat?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you know that Vil loves you, right?

so, so much?

good. because that love makes him want to shake you

of all the stupid things...

it's no use trying to hide it from him; you could look and act completely normal and he'd still see right through you

he can just tell

he has to restrain himself from threatening Crowley into letting you stay at Pomefiore so he can care for you

Vil believes you're capable, after all. you just need a little push

"I've set a daily reminder and stocked your kitchen. Remember that some food is better than none. If you need me for anything, I'll see to it as soon as possible,"

you can expect Epel and Rook to ask if you've eaten, on his behalf, every time you run into each other

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia sets like, 30 reminders in your phone

he knows as well as you do that three measly alarms won't be enough

...he, too, is guilty of forgetting to eat

he probably makes you a custom alarm sound and everything

a little pavlovian conditioning never hurt anyone, right? it's basically no different than training an AI

...or something like that

will send Ortho over to check your vitals every once in a while

"it's NBD. can't have u losing all your lives on me. who would tolerate me then?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

thank your lucky stars it's Malleus who notices your drowsiness first and not Lilia

Malleus, at least, will find you something edible to eat

he's trying to keep you alive, after all

he's very sweet and gentle about it

soft little reminders, nudges to keep you awake... he will up and leave a dorm meeting if he realizes he doesn't know if you'd had anything yet today

Malleus is very conscious about human mortality, and is very... delicate about it

he's just a little overprotective, that's all

it mostly comes to sharing little treats together every now and then. it feels less awkward when you're together, after all

"There is no need to thank me. I'm simply happy to spend my time with you,"

[diremoone]

yakuza! ryomen sukuna | hcs.

overdone trope with this man but here we go again lmao. i’m just writing little drabbles that pop up in my head atp to keep the inspiration going sobs… i need a gallon of coffee

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna, who’s been involved in yakuza bullshit since his last year of middle school, has a soft spot for you. Most people who went to school with you (who are also apart of his gang) two know that, and they know that unless they want to end up like the Zen’in named Naoya, they won’t fuck with you. You’re untouchable, and the second anyone starts rumors about you (everyone knows they were lies regardless because of your character), they’re moving schools within 48 hours.

Fuck ‘em.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna keeps you far away from his gang bullshit as he gets deeper into the darkness and you pull yourself farther away, into the light where he wants you to be. But he knows that even his little sunshine is capable of being mean like him, but it’s tucked away for those that warrant your wrath.

He thinks fondly back to the time you knocked out a couple girls cold with a volleyball for picking on Miwa.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who swears his hands aren’t stained red whenever they’re holding your hands. Whenever he’s with you, he feels nothing like how his gang makes him feel—he feels normal, like that part of him doesn’t exist. And inside the walls of your home, it doesn’t. To you, in those shared moments, he’s just the nice boy you helped get through middle and high school and grew feelings for.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who buys you pretty things with money that isn’t gotten by bloodshed… as much as possible anyway. You aren’t ignorant to where the money comes from, but you’ve done your best to make your wishes clear. And Sukuna abides by them as much as possible.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who has his younger cousin Choso posted as your personal bodyguard whenever you go out, even when it’s just to do some simple grocery shopping. He isn’t taking any chances, this you’ve been made aware of and have accepted. And you’re fine with it, too, considering you grew up with Choso.

But what you don’t know is that there’s already been multiple attempts on your life and your safety. Sukuna isn’t having it.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who gets fed up when you’re on your third date within four months. What pisses him off is that he can’t tell if you’re enjoying the asshole’s time and company or not. But when he sees the man press a kiss to the back of your hand at the end of the date, jealousy rears its head.

The next night, he’s at your front door, dressed in leather and with a spare bike helmet under his left arm.

You answer in a hoodie and black sweatpants, confused and dazed until he says softly, “C’mon, sweetheart. Lemme show you how a man gives a woman a good time.”

Your confusion turns to amusement. “Was wondering when you were going to take me out. It’s about time.”

Sukuna grins and holds out his arm. “C’mon then.”

🖤 Yakuza Husband! Sukuna who ends up putting the ring on your finger two months after that date. You end up signing the papers long before the actual ceremony happens. And to Choso, Yuuji; and all the others that have witnessed your relationship from its first greeting to the ring on your finger, they can only sigh in relief because it’s about fucking time.

… Oh, shit.

Kids.

a/n: the rain and thunder while writing this was a big help lol. it’s been raining for two days now hehe

[gossippool]

what do you recommend for people who are very new to deadpool comics and looking to get into them?

hiii thank u for asking!! this is kind of a complicated question because there's no right answer really. especially with deadpool, there's no actual best starting point because besides the basic origin story that he was experimented on, everything else about him is fair game (he just lies all the time and has false memories about his past) and so all the comics are different and pretty much standalones. but here's a list of a few comics depending on what you want to explore (i have not read every deadpool comic ever so this is not the best list but i will get there):

for shorter and more lighthearted reads:

deadpool (2022)—SO so cute wade has a crush on this non-binary assassin and it's actually adorable how much he likes them lol. in terms of shorter deadpool comics i think this one is quite a standout [update: the ongoing deadpool (2024) is brilliant as well and is a direct in-depth continuation of this]

deadpool infinity comic (2021)—a short partnership with sue storm. funny and the art style is so cute too

dogpool infinity comic (2024)—this is just cute and logan is in it too

deadpool (2018) #6—the issues in this run are all kinda standalone stories (although they all connect at the end). they're all a fun time but this issue in particular is hilarious. comics usually don't make me actually laugh but this one did

for a more meta read that explores exactly what makes wade unique from other superheroes:

deadpool kills the marvel universe (2011)—in my opinion THE most iconic deadpool run, i'm sure everyone's heard of it lmao. a little darker but hey cameos from every marvel character ever. this was the first deadpool comic i ever read and it was a good time

for a familiar face from deadpool and wolverine (for other specific familiar faces you could just search "deadpool vs [character]" and that comic would probably exist):

honestly just search "deadpool and wolverine" and you'll probably get the whole list but here are some i've read that are lovely:

deadpool & wolverine: wwiii (2024)

deadpool vs. wolverine: slash 'em up infinity comic (2024)

weapon x-traction (2024)

for long in-depth characterisation that explores a lot of deadpool lore:

deadpool (2012)—if you've been following me you might know this is my favourite deadpool comic ever. it's pretty depressing and much grittier than the movie deadpool you might be used to, also REALLY long so it can be daunting but it's very worth it imo. it starts to get really good by the good, the bad, and the ugly issue and there's just SO much in it. for me wade in this run is inseparable from wade as a character to me (this comic is also followed up with deadpool (2015) and despicable deadpool (2017). these aren't necessary to read because 2012 kind of wraps up on its own, but it's definitely bittersweet to get to the end)

deadpool (1997)—another hulk of a comic run. i have not read this yet but i've heard very good things about it, and many people say that joe kelly is the defining deadpool writer so you could give it a go! older comics may be a little harder to read though, from experience

for comics featuring ellie (wade's daughter) that you may want to read in order if you want to fully appreciate her and wade's relationship:

deadpool (2012, 2014, 2015)

deadpool (2018, issues #8, #12, #15)

deadpool (2024)

a lot of comics will sometimes redirect you to other comics that explore a sideplot, and the main comic will just pick up where those left off so you could miss some storyline. despite this it's not necessary to read those other comics, but if you want to avoid multiple instances of this when you first go in, then i would suggest starting with the shorter runs!!

i hope this was helpful lmao sorry this got really long but i think the starting point really is different for everyone depending on what they like

[brossession-collection]

Becoming His Type (Male Possession)

"Ur a nice guy man! Seriously. But ur just not my type. Like 'em beefier haha. Happy to train ya still if you're okay with that."

Jason read the text over and over. "What a fucking douche" he thought, teeth clenched, as he gripped his phone.

Two weeks ago Jason had built up the courage to talk to his beefy gym crush, Carson. Jason wasn't the biggest dude. His 5'8 frame and 155lb stature wasn't anything to brag about, but he had gotten to a lean athletic build that he worked on for months. He thought, atleast, Carson would hold a conversation with him now that he was kinda lean.

And he did. Carson nodded at Jason as he walked up, Jason quivering as he asked the big guy if he had any diet tips.

The two hit it off, or at least that's what Jason thought. "Hey I gotta get back to my set bro, but what say we keep chatting later? You free tomorrow morning?" Carson's deep voice put Jason into a horny stupor. He repeated his question which brought Jason back to earth.

Later that night...

Jason sat up in bed, rubbing his b*ner, as he thought about Carson's thick biceps and pillowy pecs. "I can't believe he fucking TALKED to me!" Jason squealed as he tweaked his nipples, imagining Carson wrap his arms around him, the smell of his musky armpits wafting into his nose. He barely remembered anything that the big jock actually said, but he couldn't care less. Jason drifted off as his fantasy turned into a dream.

The next morning at the gym...

"And that's all there is to it bro. Track the macros, eat a ton of protein, and don't stop bulking for a year. Then you'll get a belly like mine heh." Carson gave his protruding stomach a slap as Jason winced while he watched the strong mass jiggle.

"W-wow uh yeah I'd love that..." Jason managed to get whimper out. "I-I mean... yeah! I'll definitely do that! M-m-maybe you could also show me some exercise tips?"

"Hah sure little guy we can have a first sesh. On the house." Carson got off the bench he was sitting on and nudged (pushed) Jason down. "Let's see what you got baby. Bench presses first.

Jason then worked his ass off the entire morning to try to impress his crush. Every once in a while, he'd notice Carson looking off across distance, obviously eyeing a big bear slightly older than him. Carson would eventually get back to Jason, but the lean man knew something was up

Later that night...

"What the hell should I text him? 'Thanks for hanging with me earlier big guy wanna date?' 'You're super cute wanna cuddle?'" Jason lied in bed anxiety-ridden.

He saw a text come in instead.

Carson: "Sup Jason how ya doing?"

Carson: "Muscles aching yet? Srry if it was too much for ya."

Jason flinched for a second before typing back. "Oh sup Carson. Yeahhhh haha kinda hurts."

He waited for a second before sending another text.

Jason: "oh and thanks for the session today dude I appreciate it"

Carson: "yea bro anytime. Need more good looking guys like you getting big"

Jason blushed as his boner came in. "Should I just ask him out?" he thought. "Fuck it."

Jason: "Yeah! I'd love to keep doing this with you man. You're super hot. Honestly could be fun to date if you're down."

Jason put down his phone in fear. He felt a vibrate and slowly picked it up.

Carson: "Bro what lol"

Carson: "Shit sorry man didn't realize you felt like that."

Jason gripped his phone as he watched Carson type.

Carson: "Ur a nice guy man! Seriously. But ur just not my type. Like 'em beefier haha. Happy to train ya still if you're okay with that."

Jason felt his teeth clench. He stopped texting and threw it onto his night stand. "What a fucking douche," he thought. "Dude just saw me as another client. As a walking fucking money bag." Jason felt tears start to streak down his face.

The next morning at the gym...

Jason watched from a distance near the locker rooms as he saw Carson laughing with the muscular daddy bear he was eyeing yesterday. "He already fucking forgot about me" Jason muttered under his breath.

He squinted as he watched the two big men take their phones, possibly to exchange numbers. With a grin, Carson gives the man a hug before the two walk off in opposite directions.

"Oh shit he's coming this way!" Jason started to whistle as he the big bearded daddy strut past him to go into the locker room. Jason shuddered as he noticed the pure gargantuan size of the man. "Fuck... He's huge."

For some reason, Jason felt compelled to follow the bear. He hopped into the locker room and watched as the man posed in front of the mirror and took a selfie.

"He's probably sending that to Carson..." Jason thought.

Suddenly, the big guy turns around and sees Jason stalking him.

"What the fuck do you want twink? Been seeing you follow me around all morning."

Jason flinched from how direct the huge man was. "U-uh fuck I'm sorry man!" Jason wished his voice was more threatening.

"Answer the question: what the fuck do you want?" The bear came closer, ready to shove Jason. "Get the fuck outta my way!"

Jason felt his frail body smash into the wall, his back taking the full brace of the impact as his vision started to blur. He saw the big feet of the man step next to him before he blacked out.

...

...

In a snap, Jason felt his torso lurch up as he came back into consciousness. But something felt off. Jason looked down.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? Wh-why are my hands... BLUE?" Jason looked at his palms incredulously before glancing further down at his physical body slumped beneathe him. His blue ghostly form sticking out from the pelvis-up.

In the corner of his eye, Jason saw the big bear standing around. "Fuck. Didn't realize he'd go flying." He heard the man say.

Jason got up with virtually no pain, seeing his ghostly ectoplasm oozing off his limbs as he leaves his physical form. He looked up at the big man, anger seething through his ephemeral form.

"Oh you're gonna fucking pay for that man! I don't care how big you are!" Jason yelled. The big man, completely unaware of Jason, just picked at his nose before kneeling down to check on his victim's pulse.

"Kid's still got a heart beat. He'll be fine." For a split second Jason felt some compassion come from the bear, which all shattered as he saw him spit at his corpse. "Fucking stalker. Better not be here when by the time I'm done showering."

Jason pounced at the man, attempting to claw at his big shoulders. The bear fell forward onto all fours before looking around in a panic. "What the fuck was that!?" he yelled into the empty locker room.

Looking down at the beefy bear with his ass up in the air, Jason had an idea. "If I'm a ghost, maybe I can..." Jason connected the dots in his head before acting out his plan.

The big man started to get up before he felt his body get pinned down by something that felt like a foot. "OooFFF" he groaned as the air left his lungs.

Jason had to work fast. He reached down and carefully attempted to grab the man's waistband. He felt a tactile sensation and grinned before pulling it down to expose the man's bulbous cheeks.

"AAHHH wh-what's going ON!?" the bear whimpered as he felt a cool air skim his cheeks.

Jason eyed as the sweaty, hairy, musky mounds jiggled before slowing to a stop. He'd never been this close to such a big *ss before, and it was causing Jason to get a huge ghost b*ner.

The bear started to panic as he felt a slimy, cold finger run down his tight crack. "A-ah f-fuck!" he moaned as the finger playfully pushed in and out.

Jason grabbed both of the bear's *ss cheeks and ripped them apart, exposing his surprisingly loose *sshole. He glanced down at the pulsating hole, questioning for a second if he was really going through with this.

"Hope that Casper movie wasn't bullshit! Coming through!!"

The bear winced as he felt something larger than a d*ck shove itself into his *sshole. "Ho-Holy SHITTT!!!!"

Jason gripped onto the bear's cheeks as he used them to push into the man's tight hole. Suddenly there was a "POP" and he realized he was in. "Fuck yes! Here I come big guy!!!" Jason yelled happily.

The bear looked around in a panic as he heard a familiar voice echo in his mind. His mind quickly turned to his physical sensations, though, as he felt slimey shoulder squeeze in. "OOOOF!" he groaned.

With a giddy smile on his face, Jason tunneled through the dark expanses of the bear's body. His arms and tight lean waist slipped in as the bear groaned uncontrollably.

The big guy mustered all his strength to turn his head, only to see blue lean legs and feet protruding out of his asshole, inching their way deeper and deeper in. "F-f-fucking HELL!" was all he could yell as the crammed sensations worked their way up his torso.

Jason, torso-up inhabiting the bear's body, reached down to pull his small dick through the asshole. Suddenly, he felt the rest of his legs slurp themselves in too.

The bear felt himself getting filled up to the brim as another being literally shoved himself into all the crevices of his fat body. His yells reaching it's loudest as he felt the blue ectoplasmic feet slide in with a "PLOP!"

The bear reached back and pawed at his loose asshole, scooping up the ectoplasm that was left behind. He tried to get up but lost his balance as he felt the ghost inside of him lurch forward.

"Here comes the fun part fatty!" Jason yelled with a mocking chatter. Jason wasted no time shoving his limbs into the man, pressing his arms and legs into his vessel's like gloves and boots.

The beefy bear, finally having gotten up, felt his body start to dance around beyond his will. His right arm flailed as his left hand tried to stop it before betraying him and slapping him on the face. "Fu-fuck! GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME" he yelled at his belly wiggled uncontrollably.

Jason shoved his hard c*ck into the bear's girthy one, filling it up like a sheathe. His lined up his ghostly balls with his host's tennis-ball sized one, feeling them expand with a "POP" "POP".

The bear, pounding at his belly to get the invader out, suddenly lost control of his arms and hands as they reached down to stroke his huge 8in d*ck and finger his fat ass. He heard a laugh followed by a "BOOM" as his butt and legs filled up with ectoplasm.

With the bear's hands and feet under his control Jason realized there was only one step left.

"Puh-puh-please m-man! G-get out of- *gurgle*" The bear's neck started to bulge as Jason hurriedly squeezed into his host's head. The bear gasped for air as he gagged on ectoplasm, the pressure in his brain close to popping before-.

...

Jason opened his eyes and took a deep breath, his belly filling up and stretching out the tank top he was now wearing. "Oooh fuck yeah" he cooed, using the bear's sexy voice for the first time. He looked down and immediately reached for his beefy pecs, massaging his new nipples with his host's stubby fingers. They were sensitive, hard-wired to his new girthy c*ck as he felt his sweaty jock stretching to the limit. He pulled his waistband back up and felt the airy fabric wrap around his fat ass, immediately nesting between his cheeks.

"Can't believe it fucking WORKED. Hell YEAH BABY! I'M A FUCKING BEAR!" Jason danced around a bit, waving his new jiggly belly around in the air before he heard the door to the locker room open.

Jason watched as one of the bodybuilders stumbled in, so distressed from the workout that he didn't even notice Jason's lean body slumped against the wall. He tiredly glanced at Jason, who was at eye-level with him, and muttered a "How's it going Roy" before walking deeper into the locker room.

Jason's heart skipped a beat, but then calmed down as he realized that no one can tell. He walked up to the mirror and grinned at his reflection as he crossed his arms. He was fucking HUGE.

Jason felt sweat drip down from his forehead, chest, and pits. He carefully lifted his new beefy arms and immediately got hit by a wave of ripe musk. "Fuuuuuck. I smell so... GOOD" he moaned, using Roy's vocal chords. "Not gonna wash these pits" he chuckled.

In the corner of his eye, Jason glanced at his old slumped body. "Damn. I'm so fucking tiny... No wonder I flew into the wall" he reflected. Jason daydreamed for a second, then realized he could live out a huge k*nky fantasy of his. He picked up his old body with ease and took him to a secluded part of the locker room.

Jason started to eagerly rip off his old body's clothes, pulling down his pants and revealing his musky thin yellow briefs. He slipped them off and took the briefs up to his nose, taking a deep inhale of his old musk.

With a smirk, Jason dropped his host's Size XXL gym shorts and jockstrap, revealing his girthy hairy cock. He then started to slip on the Size S yellow briefs up his thick tree trunk legs, making sure the fabric didn't rip. Jason grinned as he felt the tiny briefs get eaten by his new gigantic asscheeks. He grabbed both of his cheeks with his meaty paws and ripped them open, making sure the fabric would touch his new musky *sshole like a thong.

"Ohhhh fuuuck yeah!" he groaned, as he sealed the entrance that he came in from. His d*ck was leaking profusely, more so than his old one did.

Jason pulled his host's shorts up. He grinned at the fat *ss in the mirror before he felt his new phone vibrate. "That who I think it is?"

He unlocked his phone and saw "Carson" had texted him.

Carson: "Hey handsome. What are you up to tonight?"

Jason couldn't help but chuckle, his big belly jiggling with every heave. He pawed at the keyboard with a huge grin.

Roy: "Hey baby. Nothing much. You wanna get k*nky tonight?"

Jason shoved Roy's phone into his pocket before running out of the locker room in a hurry, his big a*s jiggling with every step. His phone vibrated a ton, but Jason knew he needed to do something before he replied.

Later that night...

Jason stripped naked and laid in bed. He opened up his camera and saw the handsome grizzly face of the man he possessed. "Don't know how much time I have in you man but I'm gonna take advantage of it. Gonna get you real k*nky. Make you say shit you'd never say. And I bet Carson would do anything to fuck your musky fat*ss." Jason reached down to finger Roy's *sshole before giving his finger a lick.

"Haha. Alright alright enough fun. Got a video to send to a lucky guy."

Jason started to record.

FIN

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Been spending my time lately thinking of a House MD au where, through a series of accidents and lies and a bet he didn't rly intend to win, House ends up as a registered foster parent (he's still addicted to Vicodin and his normal dickish workaholic self but for some reason he cleared the requirements and trust me he's as stunned and mildly concerned as everyone else is).

Through further Shenanigans™, he ends up accidentally getting handed fostership of not one, not two, but three hellish but brilliant kids:

1. This total smartass 16 year old named Robert Chase who yeah he's a bitchy teenaged boy and a former rich kid and Australian with enough mommy and daddy issues to reawaken Freud after his dad dipped and absconded all parental rights and his mom drank herself to death, but he's also got a nice car left over from his rich kid days and an eye for detail and weirdly enough his best friend/mortal enemy (some other teen named Eric Foreman) and his on again off again girlfriend (Allison Cameron, totally won't last if u ask House) both work at the hospital as a candy striper and after school in the cafeteria respectively so House can get all the inside gossip from Chase. Plus Chase has no problems breaking and entering into patient's homes which helps bc since he's not employed by the hospital Cuddy can't complain as far as House is concerned.

2. A 14 year old girl who only answers to Thirteen (House knows he could look her name up in her file but honestly it drives Chase nuts that she won't tell him her real name and that's good enough for him) and who's dad was declared unfit after the death of his wife to Huntington's devastated him. She's a total nightmare, snarky and quick witted and freakishly smart even tho she puts most of those smarts towards things like shaving Chase's entire head (eyebrows included) bc he's trying to grow a sucky teenage mustache, and trying to take House's wallet bc she keeps calling him Old Man and he informed her he's actually only 25 but the stress of fostering has aged him prematurely and she's like 95% sure that's a lie but she wants to check his license and make sure bc everyone lies. She loves tormenting Chase by telling him his best friend and/or his girlfriend is hot and asking if they're single.

And 3. This 6 year old boy named Lawrence Kutner who's weirdly cheerful considering his parents got killed in front of him. He's way too chatty and excellent at puzzles and the only morning person in the entire house and therefore frequently tries to make breakfast (he likes to be helpful and he hasn't burned the place down yet so House doesn't feel the need to stop him). Once he told House he was gonna build a Death Star in the living room and House said lol sure go ahead whatever, only to return home from work to discover Kutner called himself out from school and has a huge wooden frame made of broken furniture in the living room. House rly can't argue since he did say go ahead. Benefits of fostering a 6 year old are 1. The babes love it, 2. Free excuse to leave work early/come in late/not show up at all, and 3. Justification for buying juice boxes and Ritz crackers. The neighbor kid Taub is his go to babysitter bc his mom volunteered him forcibly and Taub is lowkey praying that babysitting Kutner could lead to an in at Princeton Plainsboro once he graduates high-school and finishes medical school (it won't, House doesn't believe in nepotism unless it benefits him).

The adventures of House and his Foster Ducklings mostly revolve around being a Found Family, but do involve frequent plots such as:

House fired his brand new fellows again (he tosses em every three or so months, he hasn't found The Right Team yet) and will sometimes bring his foster kids in, hand em doctors coats, and tell patients that they're just a bunch of medical savants here to consult yes even the 6 year old he's actually Harvard's youngest graduate ever.

House sends the kids to break into a patient's home. They refuse. House tells them the first one to find black mold or lead paint or a dead animal or whatever gets $20. They agree. Chase drops Thirteen and Kutner off at a bus stop across town and drives over himself so he can get an hour and a half head start (ultimate fuck them kids moment, however Thirteen did steal his wallet so guess who's paying for lunch and their taxi ride to the patient's house? Net loss.)

Cuddy demands House does his clinic hours. House sends his foster kids to do his clinic hours for him. Tfw you go to the free walk in clinic for a sore throat and a cough and your doctor is a 6 year old boy who keeps asking for help with spelling whilst filling out your chart.

Wilson babysits them one (1) time since House doesn't trust Chase not to throw a party or sell his foster siblings on eBay if left as the one in charge. He wakes up with a big strip of hair poorly bleached right down the middle. Chase crushed up stolen sleeping pills and mixed them into a juice box, which Kutner 'innocently' offered to Wilson. Thirteen was going to bleach and dye his whole head blue (for practice, she wants to dye her hair but she's certainly not gonna fuck up her own hair until she has the method down) but Wilson woke up pretty quickly due to years of House drugging him. Wilson has not offered to babysit again.

Anyways this is my House Foster Ducklings au which I'm thinking about actually writing. Thank u 🫡

[terry-perry]

if your still taking requests for the Alastor x carmine!reader how about this scenario for a one shot….

Carla and odette decide to take their sister to the club in hopes to cheer her up. And she runs into Vox who finds Carmine!reader attractive & flirts with her. Unknowingly to her, Alastor was at the club with Charlie and the others and sees.

~ em

Minding One's Business pt. 2

Previous Part: HERE

Tags: @mysterypotatoink @martinys-world @lonelysimp18 @readergirlstuff @lokis-imaginary-friend @amyking300 @for-hearthand-home @wonderlandfandomkingdom @purple-umbrella-girl @saccharine-nectarine @monomas-girl @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog @junieshohoho @yourmom132 @thebreadisthetruevillian @diffidentphantom @4lastrolynii @yui-onnero @shinji-lover @night-lol @yourdoorisunlocked @alastorsgirl69

The group peered over to the bar where Alastor sat alone. The space around him was clear as everyone at Consent chose to stay away from him, especially since he oozed more malevolence than usual.

"Boy, he's really taking this breakup hard," Angel noted.

It had been his idea for them to go to the club to help Alastor move on from Y/N. It wasn't exactly his scene and he was close to declining the invitation, but Charlie insisted and offered free drinks for the night.

Things were okay, at first, when they got there. Alastor kept to himself but interacted with everyone politely. Then he had said he was off to refill his glass of whiskey, but that was 20 minutes ago. Cut to him seated where he was at that moment.

"Well, this isn't exactly his scene Angel," Vaggie said, eyeing a nearby couple making out heavily while stumbling over to the nearest Sex Room. "I don't know why you insisted on bringing him to this place."

"What? Would you rather he spend his time moping around the hotel? At least, this way, he might find some good strange that can make him forget about Y/N."

"Humph," Husk uttered. "Might be easier said than done since no one is even brave enough to sit next to him."

Everyone turned back to the bar to watch Alastor demonstrate this by snarling at a random patron who oozed over to the seat next to him before realizing who he was and scurrying off like a chastised dog.

"He likes to play hard to get," Angel shrugged, downing another shot. "Worked on Y/N, didn't it?"

Charlie sighed, her eyes still on Alastor and noticing how forlorn he suddenly looked. "It was a nice idea, Angel, but I don't think he wants to forget about her."

"That's good!" Niffty chirped, suddenly popping up amongst the group to point to something across from them. "'Cause she's over there!"

"Wait, what?!" Vaggie exclaimed.

Everyone's eyes followed where Niffty was directing them and, sure enough, they found Y/N seated at a table alone with a drink, observing the crowd before her and looking lost in thought.

"Fuck! This isn't good." Vaggie said, her eyes darting back and forth to the bar and where Y/N was.

"Why? This could be better than my idea." Angel pointed out. "They see each other, talk, work things out, then they can continue making up in one of these rooms!"

"It's not that simple," Charlie said. "We might know Alastor could've developed strong feelings for Y/N, but she still sees him as the asshole who used her and lied to her. Everything is still fresh."

She looked back at Alastor whose back was still turned which thankfully meant he was none the wiser about his ex being there. "We don't want to risk drama brewing while they're still vulnerable. I'll go ahead and do my best to be there for him. You guys keep an eye on Y/N. Alert me about anything that might trigger any drama."

You continued to watch your sisters with a couple guys around them. You smiled and waved at one of them then shook your head when they motioned for you to join them on the dancefloor. You remained seated as you took another sip of your cocktail.

It was sweet of Clara and Odette to take you out, and the club was a nice change of scenery from Zestial's manor, but you just weren't feeling it. You'd rather stand by and play designated driver/bodyguard for your sisters. The last thing you wanted was for them to get mixed up with the wrong guy who says the right things.

You don't know why you still felt the way you did. You don't know why you still missed him, especially after realizing he was using you the whole time. You were angry, of course, and even made plans in your head to chop his head off, mount it on the wall, and feed the rest of his body to Hell hounds. You weren't just mad about him and your mother, however. You were also pretty heartbroken since all the times they were there for you were all a facade.

Looking back on your relationship, you wondered what was genuine and what was an act. Were the intimate details he shared with you real, or the love declarations he'd send through his broadcasts? Did every kiss and touch actually make him cringe? Did he only power through because you were promised by your mother to him?

"Well, fancy seeing you here,"

Your thoughts were interrupted by a not-so-pleasant and familiar voice. You turned your attention away from the dancefloor to see the seat across from you was now occupied. You did your best to hide your disgust at Vox's smarmy grin.

"Vox," you greeted him stoically with a curt nod before going back to looking at the dancing crowd, hoping he'd get the hint that you were in no mood to talk.

"I couldn't help but notice you from across the room," he claimed, taking your face in his hand so you'd be forced to look at him. "I gotta say the breakup agrees with you. I've never seen you look so ravishing."

You grimaced as you pulled his hand off you. "Thanks."

"My colleagues and I are seated in the VIP section if you care to join us. Drinks are on me, of course."

"Oh, are you sure you want to spend time with one of Carmine's brats?" You retorted, referring to the time he deemed you as such after the last Overlord meeting. Was every demon you knew so two-faced?

"Forgive me for being so rude before," Vox said, stretching out an apologetic smile. "If we're being honest, I mostly said what I did out of jealousy. I couldn't believe how lucky that asshole was to be with a beauty like yourself." He took your hand. "So you can imagine my joy when I learned about your breakup. That freak was stupid to let you go."

You hummed, smiling sarcastically. "And I suppose you're a better option for me,"

"Well, it goes without saying," he chuckled pompously. "The most that grinning grandpa has done since he's come back is help run a hotel doomed to fail at any second. Meanwhile, I have been a great success, producing amazing content for all of Hell to watch. It's made me rich enough to spoil anyone I deem worthy of my time."

"Lucky me, but I'm gonna have to pass. I'm not really in the mood to start anything new, let alone with another Overlord who talks too much." You stood up from your seat and began walking off to the bar, intending to freshen up your drink. "Good talking with you, Vox."

You barely walked three steps when he appeared in front of you, still with a smug look. "Come on, sweetheart, you know I'm your best option now, especially since you've cut off your best resources,"

You narrowed your eyes as something menacing began to bubble up inside you. "Excuse me?"

"Think about it," Vox continued, none the wiser about your silent rage. "It won't be long until Mommy and the best guard dog you ever had get bored of waiting for you to crawl back to them. Then what'll you do? Keep yourself holed up at Uncle Zest's place?" He took your waist and pulled you towards him. "It's better to go for someone who has the means to care for you and knows your worth."

He certainly gave you some stuff to reflect on, that was for sure. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it was true. If things didn't return to normal, it'd be time to plan your next step.

For the time being, you had to take care of the cocky prick smirking down at you.

"Vox..." you cooed suddenly, making yourself look as flirty and doe-eyed as possible as you slung your arm around his neck. His smile grew wide as he felt your other arm slide between you. He leaned closer to your lips but was halted by your hand tightly squeezing his groin as you kept your sweet persona on. "If you ever touch me or talk to me like that again, I'll film myself ripping your slimy dick clean off you and play the footage on a loop on your big, flat face. 'Kay?"

Since he was too busy groaning in agony from your touch, he simply nodded. It was your turn to smile triumphantly as you pecked his face and let him go. You paid no mind to him crumbling to the floor, holding onto his groin. You instead walked out of the club to get some air. What you did was certainly needed, but now it was time to break down in tears.

"Hey, Al,"

Alastor turned his head and found Charlie by his side with an awkward smile on her face.

"You never came back to join us. I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine, my dear," he attempted to give her one of his big grins, but it was more forceful than anything else. "I just needed to take some time away from all the noise and depravity, nothing more."

"We know this isn't exactly your scene, but Angel truly was thinking about you when it came to going out tonight. At least the drinks are good, right?" She raised her glass to him, which he humored by lightly tapping his against it. "Maybe we can go to that jazz place you like and listen to some music there."

"Appreciate the offer, but that place is currently tainted with...memories,"

"Oh," was all she said, knowing what he meant.

A silence fell between them, the thumping music and crowd deafening it before Charlie spoke up again.

"I really did think the radio dedication was a good idea. It was very romantic. It just surprised me when Y/N called and...you know."

"That makes two of us," Alastor replied, his smile growing sardonic while he sipped his drink. It took a more tender turn as he looked ahead. "How'd you do it, Charlie?"

"Huh?"

"How did you manage to forgive Vaggie the way you did? She kept a rather large secret from you for three years, yet it only took a day for you to forgive her. So, I ask again, how?"

When she didn't answer right away, he looked back at her. She appeared shocked to hear what she did. Anyone would be due to how out of character this was for Alastor. This whole situation could be considered as such. She gave what he asked some thought, all the same.

"It definitely wasn't easy," she started. "I needed time alone to think about everything. I didn't know what to think. Thankfully, a friend of ours gave me some good advice about actions saying more than anything words could. It let me reflect on everything Vaggie has done for me. And she has done plenty."

Charlie smiled lovingly to herself as she thought more about this. "She's my rock who's believed in me when no one else would. When I couldn't believe in myself. Even though this big thing she kept from me was terrifying and heartbreaking, all she's done for me outweighs it." Her attention returned to Alastor, who was invested in what she had to say. For the first time that night, his smile held no negativity. "Right now, Y/N needs time to think about everything that happened, and so do you. You gotta figure out your feelings, consider hers, and then figure out what you want before you plan your next move."

It was his turn to glance away and look pensive. He supposed she was right. He knew though that he missed Y/N more than he cared to admit, but he was the last person she wanted to speak with after he broke her heart the way he did. He wanted another chance, but it would take more than cliche gestures. To start, it would take time.

He was ready to give the night another chance, for now, and was about to disclose this with Charlie, but she was looking at something among the crowd that made her look uncomfortable. He followed her gaze and what he saw made him darken his eyes and shatter the glass in his hand.

Not too far away was Y/N being held by none other than Vox. His eyes narrowed and his teeth bared further as he saw how receptive she was to the flat-faced fuck's moves. When she threw an arm around Vox, Alastor released a growl.

"That arrogant, loud-mouth, woman-stealing-"

"Easy, Alastor!" Charlie attempted to calm him down when noticing how he was starting to stretch into his demon form. "We don't know if it's what it looks like." She peered back at the pair and looked disgusted at the sight of Y/N's hand lowering. "Even if it is, remember: she has to figure stuff out. You gotta let her, no matter how painful it is."

Static buzzed around Alastor as he gave that some thought. He didn't have a right to be jealous of this interaction. He had to see it from her point of view: their relationship was nothing but lies. She had every right to move on. He really didn't want to, but if he wanted to show he could be a better man for her, he needed to change. Part of the change included easing his temper and letting her go, as much as it pained him.

He looked at Y/N one last time, taking in the beauty he missed holding so dearly. When she gave Vox a kiss, however, it was enough to make Alastor teleport away back to the hotel.

[ghostssweetgirl]

Drunk fem reader x Ghost

((I’m very drunk so excuse the spelling errors lol))

Drunk reader got a little too drunk (lightweight drunk fuck) ghost is literally dating them and is forced to take em home where their a little needy, thoughts?

(I'll probs forget I requested this in morning 🫣👀🤣) LOL

Heya, sorry this took so long! But yeah, I can do that for you! :) Hopefully where I went with it is okay with you!

Drunk Fem Reader x Simon 'Ghost' Riley

cw: alcohol intake, lightweight drunk lol, flirting/some slight sexual tension, needy reader, est relationship

It's been a long night of drinking with your boyfriend's teammates. At first you laughed at them for trying to outdrink each other, but you got a big head as you subconsciously joined, thinking you could keep up. You couldn't. They were drinking the finest whiskey of this hole-in-the-wall bar, whooping and hollering in celebration of their latest successful mission.

You were sat next to Simon, resting your head on his shoulder. You had a lot of pent up energy at first, excited to see your man after such a long time, happy to spend some time with his best mates. But drink after drink, drink after drink, and drink after drink, you were losing that energy, that composure.

"Y'alright, luv?" Simon whispered in your ear.

You nodded with closed eyes. Keeping them open was killing you, the bright lights, the reflection off the tables, the party chatter becoming too much as the room was spinning.

"Wan' another shot?" he asked, as he was about to pour you another drink he paused, chuckling. "No, you're fuckin' pissed, doll."

"N-no, I'm good," you lied. You didn't want to take away his fun just because you were a lightweight. "One more shot, baby, please."

"Oh, no," he pushed the drink away. "No more for you, we're takin' you home, luv."

You whined when he said no, but he helped you stand up with his arm around you. He nodded to his men as he bid his goodbyes, helping you as you stumbled out of the bar to his truck.

--

You must have passed out for the ride home, because you slowly lifted your head awake in your driveway, Simon walking around to help you out of the vehicle.

"Come on," he grunted, lifting you bridal style into your apartment. "Lightweight princess."

"Simon..." you played. You fumbled in your pockets for your key, not finding it. You almost freak out until you hear him unlocking the door. Ohhh, he has a key.

He carried you to your bed, which you splayed across comfortably, sighing from relief as you suddenly needed to take off your pants, leaving yourself in your shirt and panties. He walked out, quickly returning with a cold cloth and a cup of water. You lulled your head towards his direction with your half-lidded eyes until your vision finally focused.

"Hey handsome," you flirted.

"Don't start that, ya little minx," he teased as he sat down, holding the water out to you. His hand rubs small circles on your hip. Your drunken, needy brain fixated on the sensation, fire rising up your spine as you giggled. He held the water out further to you as you finally took it.

"You're so beautiful," he complimented, looking at you with an entertained gaze. "Even when you're drunk."

Your cheeks flushed red. He wiped your face with the cold cloth in attempts to soothe you. Then, your stomach rumbled. Ooh. Suddenly you had a deep, deep craving for your favorite sweets you had stashed away in the kitchen.

"Simon?" by your tone of voice, he knew you wanted something.

"What is it, luv?"

"Will you go get my sweets, baby?" you pouted, looking at him with your best puppy-dog eyes.

He laughed as he got up with no hesitation. "Yes, luv."

He made his way to the door before you perked up again at another need.

"Ooh! And could you... get me more water?" you hold out your empty glass to him.

"Anything else, princess?"

"Crackers?"

He nodded, finally walking into the hallway.

"And my favorite blanket!" you hollered.

"Simon!"

"When you get back, can we cuddle?"

"Yes, dear," you heard his deep voice echo.

--

He returned with everything you asked for. Your sweets, some crackers, water, your favorite blanket. He then laid down behind you, wrapping the blanket around the both of you. You ate your snacks and hydrated yourself before turning around, snuggling into his chest. You tossed and you turned, but for some reason couldn't get quite comfortable.

You finally draped your leg across his as he almost cradled you in the new position. "Hm," you hummed as you felt his warm skin against your cheek.

He sighed a deep breath at his own comfort, reaching up to remove his mask.

"I'm so lucky," you bit your lip, leaning up to kiss him. You both softly moaned into the kiss as you instantly became putty underneath him, but you sighed as he hesitantly pulled away.

"Y'need some rest, babe," he rasped. "But fuck, 'm lucky, too."

--

[nekropsii]

Small Atomic Ask Bomb!!

I've got a bunch of short asks that I'd hate to spam the dash with individually, so I'll just put 'em here, under the cut!!

Content Warning: Long, Brief Discussions of Racism, Misogyny, Grooming, Brief Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia in Fanfiction.

I've always been a hater, and I honestly don't really think it's a bad thing - not as much as everyone says, at least! I think being kind of a bitch about things that don't matter is good for you, actually. Gets the urge to be angry out in a way that's healthier than just snapping at people in critical moments. I also just think being strong and passionate in your convictions is good for you. Being a hater gives you a spine if you do it right, and it fires a gunshot and scatters people you don't really want to be around. It also has the funny side effect of people thinking I take things way more seriously than I do, just because I'm opinionated and will state said opinions clearly. Big fan of this meme:

This is me.

------

I used to peek in there every now and then, just to be nosy. Incest at the top, always. Or straight up pedo shit. Sigh. Looked in the Mituna tag a couple times. CroTuna fucking nightmare hell dimension, always. Or KanTuna, which I also have gripes with. Or KanMiTula, which I have even more gripes with.

It is my understanding that the state of Homestuck fanfiction hasn't gotten much better since the 2010s. Everyone is wrong and no one is normal. Sad.

------

I don't know if the mere act of only making Jade and Jake brown out of all the Kids is Racist on its own, per se, but it is kinda silly in the sense that, you know, John and Jade are siblings, so realistically they'd look similar. And... People absolutely do get racist about it. Like, making Jade and Jake uniquely huge, hairy, threatening, and oddly shaped - gangly in the context of Jade, buff as hell in the context of Jake. I've seen some SEVERELY racist drawings where Jade and/or Jake were the only hints of melanin in the Kid line up and... Oh my god. It can get to straight up caricature levels. Watermelons and everything. Just comedically racist.

------

Genuinely one of the dumbest fucking things in the world. People will say literally anything. Saying Damara isn't Japanese is on par with calling Porrim a fucking Men's Rights Activist. It's a funny little claim people who are grievously wrong say as a condemnation of the Alpha Trolls for no reason. Why. To look smart? To fit in? Dumbass. Notice how they always have to invent bullshit lies to critique anything instead of just saying things that are true. It really frustrates me how 99.9% of Alpha Troll criticism just isn't at all legitimate when there's some real, genuine issues you could critique. It's stupid horseshit. I hate it so badly.

I don't actually care whether or not someone likes the Alpha Trolls, but at least hate them accurately. Come on.

------

@sleepy-apparition

Everyone is so, so quick to turn a blind eye to just how violently misogynistic Kankri is, lmfao. Genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen anyone other than myself bring up the fact that he's an avid Slut-Shamer in the modern day. Other than that, I only really saw older Mituna fanatics bring it up over in the early-mid 2010s, but none of them are around these days.

Genuinely, some of the shit he says is so appalling, lol. Kankri FULLY deserves to get his ass beat.

------

I have said this before but I'll say it again - I do not think a Red Romantic Relationship will fix Dirk, or even really help him all that much. Before he gets into a RedRom, he needs some therapy, a break, and mood stabilizers.

However, I'm thoroughly of the opinion that a good BlackRom could work wonders on him, way more than a RedRom would. I think a solid, established Pitch Relationship with, like, Caliborn would be genuinely great for him, both mentally and in a Character Development sense. I hold zero interest in watching Dirk and Jake badly fumble a traditional romantic relationship - that notion is painful to me. ... But I do think I could read a full Intermission's worth of Dirk and Caliborn fucking around and not get tired of it once. They have a fantastic dynamic. It'd be good for Caliborn, too, I think.

This has been my Dirkuu propaganda bit. Thank you.

Also, the Voyeuristic feel of how people handle his Mental Illness. It makes me uncomfortable.

------

True. I don't have any other remarks to make about this, you're just correct. True.

------

... Fuckin'... Why, though? What- what's the appeal? There's nothing there. I literally cannot conceive any way in which that would be compelling, and I'd say Hal and Kankri are pretty high up there in the list of Male Homestuck Characters I Enjoy.

People will do anything but pay attention to Female Characters for five minutes. God. Lol.

------

It's literally just DaveKat 2. I don't think it even qualifies as a Crack Ship when it's just a variant of The Fandom's Most Darling M/M OTP. It's just a deeply mid RarePair. Crack Ship would be, like, Dirk Strider x Rainbow Dash.

Dirk x RD was a popular Crack Ship, sure, but it's still a Crack Ship on basis of being a Crossover Pairing.

------

I can't recall any specific instances of seeing this myself, but I'll believe it. People will do anything except be normal about Vriska. People will fight the war against Vriska on the side of and against Vriska at the same time. People will call her a Huge 8itch but then call her pathetic when she stops being a Huge 8itch.

We love Misogyny, I guess.

------

Well, he is based on Tumblr, after all. Particularly how dogshit the politics are on here. Of course he would. He'd do numbers on here, considering his Woke Hate Speech.

It's called Bubblr, by the way. Like, canonically. We do know what it's called.

------

It's actually based on the Three Wise Monkeys. You know, that old Japanese Proverb that goes "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"? That.

Kurloz is Speak No Evil, Meulin is Hear No Evil, Mituna is See No Evil.

------

Great Question. My personal guess is that he's a little too nuanced for a lot of people to be comfortable with handling. He throws out too much surface-level Bigotry that people aren't willing to ignore because it isn't Racism for many to feel comfortable making him their Blorbo. When Dave says the N-Word and talks about how fucking Racist he is and it literally never gets acknowledged or resolved, that's fine and dandy, but god forbid Caliborn be a Misogynist in the funniest way possible AND have that get acknowledged literally constantly as a problem. The fact that Caliborn isn't a Fuckable White 13-Year-Old Twink means none of his crimes are ever forgivable because he's ugly and unshippable, or whatever.

The fact that he's Mentally Disabled doesn't help. People can't fucking STAND IT when a character is Mentally Disabled in a way that isn't Cute and Consumable, much less a character who is Unconsumably Mentally Disabled AND Complicated. It's just not allowed!!

[hugemilkshake]

Hey can you do more uh...self aware cookie run au with anxious reader? Just I can't help but imagine more scenarios of y/n being anxious and thinking 'OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE!' Buuut end up spoiled by cookies. Here are some examples I thought up but if you think of anymore cute and fun things, I'd love to see em too!

Y/n goes to the hollyberry kingdom and meets pitaya. Thinks they are gonna die to dragon...nope, dragon just wants to encourage y/n to make smores or roast jelly dogs over their flames and if a single one of the cookies who sabotage the competition even think for a SECOND about interrupting that, then they got another thing coming!

Y/n thinks they are gonna die to the licorice sea or the traitor affogato cookie when encountering them....sea acts kind to y/n somehow (or just ignores em...your choice lol) and affogato just wants to spoil y/n with sweets! (Bonus: instead of joining the COD....they go with y/n as something along the lines of 'you know what? I don't want to take over this kingdom anymore. I don't want it anymore, I want y/n! King, I admit to everything, please banish me so I can run away to y/n's kingdom!') Lmao!

Golden cheese kingdom...y/n goes in, thinking glitches are gonna kill em buuuut all the digital cookies make sure y/n is feeling safe, happy, and comfortable....aaaand golden cheese gives em lots of hugs lol! Can imagine being wrapped up in her wings feels really good!

Enjoy the milkshake! I had to give an excuse for writing about affogato cookie- I mean, the dude caused me brain rot. Also I’m not writing any golden cheese stuff because smoked cheese massacred my team and I’m angry at that (my team had way more power than smoked cheese)

Somewhat plot relevant?

-platonic self aware au-

Normally you had means of controlling your anxiety but at this moment, there was no way you could control your anxiety. You were in the middle of a forest! And not even one in your own world! It was one in the game you had recently just gotten into!

You were only on episode 4 in the story mode so you literally had no clue where you were. You just sat on the ground and started to silently panic.

But at some point a cookie you did see once in the cookie unlock screen kinda picked you up and just took you to a palace? You don’t really remember what the cookie said but they weren’t hurting you! So that must mean something!

But you were now having a feast in this palace with a cookie who you learned was actually a dragon- well anyways the dragon said they were Pitaya Dragon, also known as The Red Dragon. You did panic for a moment before Pitaya told you to just chill out and have something to eat.

And you know what? It was actually quite fun! The Red Dragon talked about other dragons and nice fun stories while the two of you ate, you were sad to go but you had too. You got some berries and stuff you could sell as a wondering traveler. Though you did tell Pitaya you’d come back one day so might want to stay close

——————

You had gone from a warm and humid forest to a frozen wasteland. What’s more to say? You had everything you needed to survive and villages were quite nice to you, you had your own gear so you didn’t bother them too much.

But you did befriend a peculiar cookie when you were by the Dark Cacao kingdom…

A cookie who looked quite lavish found you and seemed a little lost and panicked… kinda how you were when you first got here…. You felt bad to the cookie so you went to talk to them

Apparently his name is Affogato Cookie and he was banished from the Dark Cacao kingdom on the grounds of the false accusations of him trying to upstage the king. Poor guy…

Now since Pitaya Dragon was so generous to you when you had nothing so you decided to help Affogato get back in his feet since you should be passing on others kindness!

What you didn’t know was that one Affogato lied to you, two Affogato had connections to Dark Enchantress and three, he would become your travel buddy. So now the two of you travel around as friends :3

[mugeesworld]

Fatgum with a chubby partner head cannons!

Hi!!!! Finally had time to write some!! I've been getting back into MHA. I stop watching it when the fandom got weird but started watching again recently. Even tho I remember most of it. I started from the very start lol. So I apologize if this isn't accurate or something.

Female y/n

NSFW

Not proof read

Lordddddd. This man. He likes em thick. He likes em plus size. Can't tell me different. You literally can't.

He just loves his chubby s/o. Like LOVES. Like everytime he sees you it's like he is seeing you for the first time. He stares at you with those big eyes so full of love. He just wants to hold you😩

The way he could literally man handle you too. Likeeeeee. If you like being pickup or like size difference. Then this is the guy for ya. Doesn't matter your weight. 150-600? Doesn't matter. No matter your weight! He can literally throw you around like a bean bag.

He is STRONG. BEEFY. So he can take it. PUT IT ON HIM. He loves holding you. Everywhere! Doesn't care where. He loves it. Even in public. He don't care. He loves having you in his arms.

If you're just side kick or partner then you are always taken care of. Every 5 mins he is checking on you. Be careful though with how Honest you are. Cause if you say something as simple as "my feet hurt" you will immediately be placed on his shoulders or be held up just by his arm. Bros hand is so big you could just sit on his hand like it's a chair.

Be prepared for how embarrassing it's gonna be when he throws you over his shoulder cause he doesn't want your feet to hurt💀 he is SO dramatic. Always making excuses to why he should hold you. "Well if you're on my shoulders you can scout ahead to see if theirs any villains." he will make up the most bull shit excuse just to have you closer to him. Cause he loves having you close and feeling your body against him.

He also secretly likes the idea that everyone around y'all knows y'all have something going on. He definitely loves showing you off and flexing his beautiful girl friend. Definitely thinking some dumb crap in his head like. "Yeah that's right! The hero ***** is my girlfriend! How about them apples!" like he is just so proud and so honored to have you as a girlfriend. He can't get over it.

When ever you're talking to fans and he can tell they are being flirty he will just scoop you up and say. "Uh oh! Sorry guys we have to go! New villain just appeared!" and just zoom off😭💀

He knows you are a hero and he knows you can handle yourself but having you as a side kick to some getting used to. Whenever you would get a scrape or the smallest cut he would panic like you are dying. Cause usually he takes his time when fighting to think of a strategy of how to not cause as much damage or how to control his quirk the best but as soon a he sees you get the smallest of cuts....... Oh that villian better pray!

In one hit he will just absolutely destroy them. Cause how dare they hurt you. He has his quirk under great control but when you get hurt. If it makes him mad enough. No matter the strength of the villain he will put everything into on big ass punch cause it made him so mad.

And he's such a sweet guy. Very kind and caring. Literally one of the last people to get angry. But when it comes to you? Lord...... It can go 1 to 1000 real quick. Ever since you became his side kick it sorta made him stronger in a way. Having you around lights a fire under him. Everything he do is always too of his game. Cause he not only is trying to protect the city but protect his boo.

After he gets all crazy mad at the villains and takes them out after seeing you get a small cut. Its right back to teddy bear mode. Runs over too you and falls to his knees to inspect you like you're on the brink of death. Or picks you up with his hands and spins you around to make sure you're not hurt.

When I mean the smallest of cut I mean the literal smallest. Like a paper cut. He is PANICKING. Will yell for a doctor. Like he is going crazy like you are giving birth or something. And you're just standing there🧍

The poor guy was STRESSED. He sometimes begs you to go inside him or whatever. (Like with tokoyami) just to keep you safe. Something happening to you is his worst nightmare. So he definitely needs you to calm him down or reassure him you're all good.

After fighting together for a while he calms down. But he always keeps a eye on you. He makes sure y'all never split up. Always back to back fighting. He has to know you are near.

But even though he gets nervous sometimes that you're gonna get seriously hurt. Seeing your soft, chubby face immediately calms him down. I can just imagine him freaking out over something so little and you just grab his hand and lean your face against it. The warmth and softness the he feels from you immediately calms him down.

Will probably melt is you place a little kiss on his palm while doing so. You are his weakness. He just loves you so much. He has a hard time saying no to you. Like I mean a very hard time. Everything is always a immediate yes. But it sorta makes you feel bad like you're using him. So you make sure it's really ok. Cause this guy would literally give you the world if you asked for it.

Like if you were a villain you could most likely manipulate him(not that you should that's terrible) but he is just so in love with you ya know. You have this guy wrapped around your finger it's crazy!

When y'all are at home together or out shopping together he just follows you around like a puppy. Carrying your bags. Holding the door. No matter how much you tell him you can do it or it's fine. He will still do it. Not because he is being forced but because he wants to. He thinks you're a goddess and deserves a red carpet where ever you walk. That's not even a joke.

If you have a tight hero costume. Like a body suit that really shows your curves you will have this man drooling. It just drives him crazy.

Imagine. You order a new hero costume to try out that's more loose cause you have been feeling self conscious lately with how tight the other one is. You and fat gum are about to leave for patrol. After he is ready he comes to check on you and sees your new out fit.

His eye brows scrunch up and you can immediately tell something is bothering him. "I thought I would change my outfit some since my last one was weird looking on me..."

His mouth drops open and his eyebrows raise. "Weird?!? How was it weird?! I thought it looked amazing!.... I mean it looked really good ya know..... Are you sure???" he says a little embarrassed. He never told you his thoughts on your costume before but he thought it was perfect.

"Well It sorta made my stomach look weird and I don't think my body type was really made for something tight like that...." those words were so shocking and something he never once thought off or considered. He was flabbergasted. He does a face like one of the old YouTube clickbait faces. He couldn't believe his ears.

"But your stomach looked fine! It looked perfect! What do you mean it's not made for you?! Something like that is literally meant for you it's- it's so perfect I don't understand! I think it looked great!-" he says not realizing he was yelling. Gets embarrassed immediately. "Look. I think it looked great. But this obviously isn't my decision. So if you want to change it then go for it! It will still look great! But all I'm saying is.... You look good in anything. Including your tight hero costume. Wear what makes you happy. I'm gonna go wait by the door. Meet me there when you're done!!"

He runs away before you can respond. Those words touched your heart. It gave you the boost you needed. You change back to your old costume and meet him at the door. All he did was smile but he was really happy you picked the tight one. Even though he said it was your choice and to do what makes you happy he was praying you would stick with the old one. Cause he really thought it looked perfect on you. Not only because it made you look good. But you would be the same with out it!

If you ever get insecure while out he will offer his jacket. Even though it's ginormous. He tries ok💀. Or let you hide in him.

If something happens during a fight and your outfit rips or something he will give you his jacket right away. Lickity split.

His jacket is huge so it definitely has big pockets. Whatever you need he has. Hair ties, menstrual products, gloves, candy, he probably even carry a back up out fit for you. Or a jacket if you get cold. He is on it. His jacket is basically like a mother's purse.

Imagine him going to a meeting with other pro hero's and he puts a important paper in his jacket. So when they ask him for the paper he's has to dig through all his crap😭. Starts putting stuff on the table. Pulling stuff out like it's a magic trick. A hair brush, sun glasses, charger, etc. While all the hero's just sit there in utter shock.

Now let's get back to you lol. He just loves your plump figure. How soft and warm you are. It drives him crazy. Ik I have said it so much already but he just love holding you. Cuddling is such a big love language for him. On yalls days off it spent cuddling mostly. Or anything involving him touching you. He doesn't want to be away from you any longer then he needs to.

When he is in his regular form he loves having you lay on top of him. He's still very large in his regular form so you can just fully lay on him if you want. But he loves having you straddle him. He just loves sitting on the couch with his feet up and having you straddle his legs and lay on his chest facing him. So he can grab your thighs and pull you closer. Or your butt😋. (Also one of his favorite sex positions^^^)

Another cuddling position I think he would love is laying in between your legs. With his hands sliding under you a bit, going under your back. His head resting on your stomach or chest. While you play with his hair or cup his face.

If yall are watching TV while in the position together he will place small kisses with out even realizing. Just small little pecs every once in a while. And just nuzzle his head on you. He just loves it so much.

Now let's talk different positions😏😏😏

He honestly don't care who is "in control" cause if he is the dom in a situation he doesn't really see it as that. Be just sees it as just making love to his sweet sweet girlfriend.

When he's on top he takes his time. He's is very passionate in every movement. Likes to roll his hips into you instead of slamming. Having you wrap your legs around him while he hovers over you/ lays on you.

He loves having you on top though. It's such a turn on for him. Whether it's cowgirl or reverse cow girl or even if you just straddle him and he slams up inside of you. That's usually how it ends up.

He enjoys seeing you take your time and ride him though. Watching as your body moves and grinds on him. But sometimes it gets to much for him and he just needs you. So he will grab your thighs and start lifting his hips up.

And don't get me started on oral😩 he LOVES and I mean LOVES having you sit on his face. I can't put it into words on how much he loves it. It has to be after he orgasms though cause if it's before he will just ignore it. Cause he ain't pulling away for one minute until he is satisfied.

The feeling of your thighs on his face makes him crazy. Even if you sit all the way down he will pull your thighs down as hard a possible so he can get closer and feel you around him.

I think he would prefer to be inside you but when you do give him blow jobs it makes him so weak. Definitely whimpers. Lots of groaning and praising.

During sex it's endless praise. It's always. "You're doing so good baby" "You feel so good around me." "That's it. Keep going." "Just like that baby.""You taste so good princess."

Another way he love hanging you straddle him is just his thigh. When y'all make out while you're on his lap he loves when you ride his thigh or grind on him. Guiding you with his hands as he grabs your ass and thighs.

Loves taking his time with you. Savoring every ounce of your body. Slowly removing every piece of clothing. Kissing and sucking all over. Leaving trails of hickeys every where. Will get carried away and can spend up to 20 minutes just kissing you all over. It's like a addiction.

Even though he isn't very rough sometimes he just gets in that mood. Like he NEEDS you.

If you ever wear booty shorts or a short skirt or a short sun dress..... It drives him crazy. He just wants to go over to you and start grabbing. The way your soft thighs poke out from underneath. Almost showing your ass. Gets really quite and comes up behind you while you're doing something in the kitchen. Rubs his big hands up and down your body. Only answering your questions with groans. Until his can't take it anymore and he just bends you over the island. Rips your clothes off and just goes ham. (Still makes sure you're ok with it tho. And it very careful.)

[bunji-enthusiast]

Sorry again but that scourge fic?? TYYYYY imagine this now, you're still Sonic's friend and he's particularly protective over you, the whole Sonic vs Scourge fight begins as Scourge walks out from the portal, crown on his head, Scourge flirting with YOU as he's fighting Sonic just to mess with said hedgehog and prob you?? Ooc I think but idc right now 😭

Heavy Lies The Crown — Scourge The Hedgehog

Note || thank you! I really didn’t know what to do, so I just went off on the top of my head for that fic lol. Went off the top off of my head for this one too, but I’ll do something more proper for him in the future when I can force myself to.

WC || 480

Sypnosis || One Hedgehog, Two Hedgehogs. It can get rather confusing when the greener of the two can be very indifferent compared to your more heroic friend.

“Well ain't this interestin?” Scourge chuckled, legs pushing forward as he revealed himself forth from the portal. Right now, it was just; you, Sonic and Scourge. This was a tense atmosphere of which you were not absolutely sure you could redirect, or for that matter prevent the two from fighting. 

What the hell was with the crown though? That was a brand new addition, and in your honest opinion wasn’t a good choice of fashion for the rebellious hedgehog. 

“Leave ‘em outta this.”Sonic growled, tentatively side-stepping to block you from his view. You were albeit confused, a hint of confusion remaining on your face despite the clear clarity of the situation. 

Scourge threw his hands up in a matter of a dramatic gesture of a display, a sharp smile forming on his face, “Come on, I’m pretty sure the pretty little thing has as much business and priority in this as much as you.”

“I-”

For a moment you thought you saw the blue blur falter in his steps as he rose up to go face to face with Scourge, but you would talk about that with him later. You didn’t want to get in his way, regardless of how much you wanted to understand what the two meant. 

“Eh it’s really too bad, honestly.” Scourge mentions at one point or another, whilst in the midst of fighting Sonic. This seemed to confuse you, but you couldn’t tell with the look on Sonic’s face, it looked like he just wanted to get this done and over with. You wanted too as well, but Scourge was highly unpredictable at times that even you could not understand. “You're really cute darlin, and that’s the real shame here.”

He grins when he realizes that Sonic had stopped speaking completely, leaving all preconditions out the window. That really bothered him, and Scourge was feeling all the better with it. 

 “Maybe you should pay attention, instead of making useless comments.” You note, crossing your arms as you already had found a safe distance away from their fighting. At most, even Sonic had found himself silently agreeing with you. 

“Yeah, you gotta be sick of chasing after so many innocent mobians who had nothing to do with you in the first place.” Sonic snickers as he slides back from a rebounded attack from Scourge, he pants for a few moments as he gains his bearings again. 

Scourge’s lips almost falters, revealing a short-sighted frown. “Oh shaddup, you should be the one to pay attention chump.” He gains a running start as he attacks Sonic with a stronger dash, strength was not something the green hedgehog had lacked for a very long time now. Ever since his fortunate upgrade, he felt lucky otherwise.

To be able to gain some sort of revenge on Sonic, and mess with you too at the same time was even better.

[thegamingcatmom]

Would miranda be jealous if the MC had a lil plushie that's dressed up like her

I'd imagine miranda ignores her for some time or something too distracted in the lab or something, so MC just crafts up a lil birb mama plushie for comfort

Miranda eventually comes back and sees MC snuggled asleep with lil birb mama plushie

Jealous?like in a there can be only one?idk

That´s...

That seems alien, somehow. LMAO.

Not your ask, goodness no! But just...Miranda and "plushie" in the same sentence sent me. 😭

Okay so, as with pretty much everything else, let me take things way too seriously:

First of, MC would need the materials to craft smt like that. Somehow, I don´t think Miranda owns anything besides jars and scalpels and books and...more jars. And some more scalpels.

(God I love that nerd.)

Which means:

MC either has to ask her roommate/master/abductor/lover/smt for those materials (good luck) OR-

...She has to flirt like her life depends on it.

Which...it probs does:

.

Mother M.: *working*

MC: *sneaks up (we´re not gonna talk about the fact that there is no sneaking up on someone like Miranda)*

Mother M.: *working*

MC: *reaches for those massive wings, fully intending to give them the world´s best TLC-*

Mother M.: "Dove."

MC: "...I was just-"

Mother M.: "Do you wish to lose it, little bird?"

MC: "..."

MC: *wisely drops her hand again*

Mother M.: *still working*

MC: *awkward shuffling*

...

Mother M.: "Have you finished the tasks I´ve given you?"

MC: *hasn´t*

MC, stupid bold af: "Of course!"

Mother M., who can smell lies: *stops working*

MC: *starts sweating*

Mother M.: *slowly turns her head to face her*

MC: *swallows*

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "..."

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "...Technically."

...

Mother M.: "How can one technically sacrifice someone?"

MC: "...I'm-"

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "..."

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "...not sure."

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "..."

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: *panics*

MC: "You look-"

Mother M.: *stares*

MC: "...plush."

...

Mother M.: *...stares in a mix of irritation and confusion*

MC:

YES THAT´S WHAT FLIRTING LOOKS LIKE WITH THEM I´M AFRAID. 😭

But also: Did yall catch the reference to my other post that was all about pampering Birb Momma? The one that turned into the 1st part of (hopefully) many of my planned series?👉👈

(I guess this just goes to show that Miri isn´t always so...tame. 🤭)

Honestly though: I think that´s as close to a plushie as MC will get. 💀

LISTEN-

miranda ignores her for some time or something too distracted in the lab or something

I mean...duh. That´s like...her default mode? I´d say? MC will have to wait her turn, as per usual. 😅🤷🏻‍♀️

so MC just crafts up a lil birb mama plushie for comfort

Listen...comfort ain´t the first word that comes to mind when it comes to Miranda, lol. That´s why I can´t really see MC crafting something that resembles the very being which keeps her locked up and away from the world cause MC belongs to her and her alone for comfort.

If anything, MC would probs try and use it as a voodoo doll, LMAO. Our girl does love pushing buttons and testing boundaries, after all. 😉

(Better not let Birb Momma catch you though. 👀)

But also, rather than a plush!Miranda, I think a 🐦‍⬛ plushie would be more likely. Or, hell, perhaps even the real deal?? Miranda frequently transforms into a bunch of em, so I can see this being her way of shutting MC up for a while, lol.

...Whether MC is aware the crow that´s been visiting her for the past few days is one of Miranda´s is another question. 😏

...

We´re also not gonna talk about Miranda giving the crow - a part of herself - the stink eye.

No, we´re not.

Mother Miranda doesn´t get jealous, you insolent wretch.

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[mueritos]

Matteo what the fuck is up with white supremacists/fascists really liking bands like system of a down and rage against the machine...

pheww the age old question. i think to begin, youd be surprised how many older fans of soad and ratm were probably leftist, but as they grow older they just…become less so. which is kinda the narrative a lot of older people give to young radicals, like “once u reach my age you become more conservative!” type of bs. the other possibility lies in media literacy. fascists who love leftist music think its made…for them. and their fucked up conspiracy theories. yes, maybe they’re antiwar to a point (in terms of class and protecting poor whites), but a lot of em see these songs as attacking systems that are full of pedophile jewish democrats who are in control of the economy and media and wealth…its kind of the like the usual “you see what youre looking for” kind of blindness. it takes them away from the reality that soad and ratm have roots in being anti policing, anti war, anti drug war, anti fascism, anti violence against women, etc. its hilarious and wickedly frustrating to watch people listen to music literally saying “some of those who work forces are the same who burn crosses” and be like ah yes. those are the crazy anti christian leftists.

at least that’s what i think lol