#some mom updates at the end
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yoiku · 2 years ago
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Just feeling like unpacking and sorting out some thoughts on this wonderfully rainy morning (begone, roadside dust!!)
Now, I've always been the type to post new art the moment it's done. Posting stuff only on Patreon has still proven easier than I expected. Perhaps since i am still posting stuff -somewhere- it doesn't feel as weird, even though I do miss the interaction from posting on socials. But that'll be back once I have a buffer big enough to keep Patreon relevant. It's also getting easier on letting posting on social wait as time goes by, lol. Actually thought that what if I make the publish gap with the comic even bigger, like several months between Patreon/other sites. But aaaah, I really do want to get it out. It might create more of a gap with time anyway. And the best way to get new people interested in my Patreon is to have interesting stuff out there in the wild. And I'll be honest, it feels validating af to see even a few people willing to spend money to access my Patreon.
It's still conflicting sometimes, because I would really want to keep my stuff available to everyone without paywalls. Art in general is meant to be shared and should be accessible to everyone, this is something I feel on a larger scale. Things like commissioned, unique pieces are luxurious though. They are after all often personal as well. Artists don't live on grants and stipends, hell, even those are usually available for artists who have already made a name for themselves on a larger scale/are well connected. Majority I know struggle with part time jobs, unemployment, studying or are disabled, barely scraping by what they can get in terms of welfare etc. I'm no different. I'm on welfare due to health reasons + in debt, so basically I don't have any "extra" money at the end of each month left for nice things™. And if I do, it usually goes to paying a larger portion of debt away. Sometimes I spend and always regret it later, lol. But if you -never- get to treat yourself even a little, life starts to feel quite depressing. I know so many people are in the same kind of position, where it's just not possible to pay for more than 1-2 subscription services monthly, or none. So having my art behind a Patreon paywall of any kind feels bad, knowing I would likely not be able to afford it myself, lol. Will it ever be easy to combine the thought of art + money without having dreadful crapitalism thoughts creep in? Probably not.
I still want to do my best to pick up some commissions as well, I need to create some sort of hidden stash of money now that I have the cat. Because when (inevitably at some point) a trip to the vet happens, that's going to be at least a hundo no matter what. And when the last trip to the vet arrives, that's gonna be closer to 300-400 with all the cheapest options. (hopefully not anytime soon, but something i have to take into account) I am currently working on a painting comm and might have another one coming up as well, which is giving me much joy. Watercolours are a lot of work, but they're less taxing in the sense that there's only so much detail you can do compared to digital, and tradi allows the happy little accidents with the medium. So it's easier to feel like I did my best wihtout having the thought "ah... i should've kept fixing it"(without asking for more money bc I gotta do better ad infinitum) So I'm really happy peeps have shown interest in tradi comms, even though I'm not very well versed in techniques with those. Learning tho!
My head's been in a relatively good place for a good while now, all things considered. But I have to pull the brakes on myself every now and then because I know it only takes one hard hit in the old mental health for all of it going to shit in the blink of an eye. So I'm trying to tread carefully, prep and plan while keeping the bar set low enough.
Mom has moved to hospice care, which also means that getting the phonecall about her passing can also be any day now. I feel like I've made my peace with it, but even if it doesn't initially hit hard, I'm pretty sure it will bring some mental struggle later. And there will be the whole episode of handling her stuff afterwards. Thankfully there won't be any wealth to distribute, so likely all the mandatory/legal expenses will be handled by welfare. How dreadful that even in that, money is the first thing to have to worry about, huh.
At least the sun has returned from the winter jail, bright days lighten the mind.
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st-peculiar · 3 months ago
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Fuck you. Ouroboros Cycle au posting be upon ye.
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Been working on this a bit off and on today in my free time, been having fun. More in the tags
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hplonesomeart · 6 months ago
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We did it folks graduation achievement unlocked >:D
#class of 2024 hs grad#okay but I feel like I just had a character growth moment tho#just last week I was avoiding all discussion about it and pretending it’s never gonna happen#putting on a stoic emotionally detached mask to remove myself from how distraught the end was making me#but then proceeding to silently cry in the car under the weight of never making connetions like this again and the inevitable struggles#then a couple days of being bitter that everyone wanted to celebrate my graduation when I wanted it to be miserable#aaaand then this week I’ve just been like ‘meh yeah why not’ lol#just totally nonchalant and treating it like an average day#but after getting some last casual conversations in there and simply chilling/hanging out with these people I’ve known#can safely say graduation was a good experience#and honestly far more pleasant then the initial heartache I anticipated for months#I mean yeah the concept of everyone I care about being ripped away from me is still enough to tense my throat#but overall I’m far more accepting of the transition and even relieved that it’s over with#especially after today and realizing ‘yeah wasn’t too bad could do again’ jksjsksp#accidentally came to terms with it in a satisfactory way in the span of a singular day how about that#and will be fine until the moment someone starts antagonizing me about getting a job 🙃#also thank you mom for taking a grainy photo resolution to save my identity hehe (was unintentional)#also this is unrelated but the amount of people who decorated their caps was incredible. Genuinely such talented people out here#they personalized the hell outta those handmade designs and I applaud the attention to detail#update#random#personal thing
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tmf-confessions · 1 year ago
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hi guys. im sick so i'll be answering any rat egg questions y'all have
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what-even-is-sleep · 5 months ago
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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stayteezdreams · 8 months ago
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Sorry for still not posting. Things are still a bit complicated and rough in my personal life.
xx
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astonmartingf · 6 months ago
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it was my birthday yesterday and i was sick sick, cried three times, barely functioning and powering through laboratory work and managed to pass a quiz i definitely didn't study for 👍
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biioniic-biiohazard · 2 years ago
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GIGGLES LOUDLY I GOT THE CD I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEH YAAYYYYY <333
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autumnoakes · 2 months ago
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the urge to explain to everyone that i'm autistic so i do things they may find weird vs. the urge to never tell anyone ever because they're going to accuse me of lying 🫠
#vent tw#i had to tell my mom + aunt + aunt's fam when i first got my diagnosis and that was! hm!#i told some friends that i was going through with the assessment but never updated them on the results#i only really told my closest internet friends 🫠🫠🫠#it doesn't feel real like it's been a month and it doesn't Feel Real#tbf it took me like. a year to come to terms with my ADHD diagnosis too#this imposter syndrome thing is rough i'm always like 'meh i can handle it its fine i dont want to inconvenience people'#and then later 'god i should have inconvenienced them i'm so fuckijg stupid'#one of the reasons i want to leave my major too is the complete lack of sympathy for disabled people too#like sure there's SOME. like there's acknowledgement that behaviours can be difficult to change for a lot of people#but trying to bring a disabled perspective in is. it's not easy at all#literally in my DISABILITY STUDIES course trying to talk about it and being shut down and redirected#putting semi-pointed arguments in my midterm assignment about how autistic people sometimes struggle with unclear instructions#(semi-pointed because our instructor kept changing what she was saying so i was confused and wrote a 10 page rant about autism for it)#(ended up getting smthg like 60% because i 'didnt connect it back to what we were learning')#(i got an A overall somehow so there's no point in retaking it but i'm still :/ over that course)#(i was so excited for it too)#i think perhaps i'll do my health program assignment on autism#we're supposed to find a community and do a community evaluation#which is difficult honestly. my neighbourhood is heavily residential#(even though my uni is right up the road)#and there's something to be said about the overall lack of support for autistic adults#ooo. oooo i could do that
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heartsbind · 2 months ago
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i got the urge to talk more about tatsu’s mom bc i love her soooo much here we go looong infodump under the cut:
- to set the scene: miyu's 5'2" and was in her mid-60s when tatsu was born, so she's generally around 77-78 when tatsu's in their final years of high school.
- miyu was and still is a very artsy and craftsy person! her husband was kind of the breadwinner and made a generous amount of money as the vice president of a financial company, but she helped run a quaint little gift shop that a friend of hers owned; there she got to sell some of her own homemade jewelry and trinkets made from things like seashells. she’s a great painter, although she hasn’t tried selling too many of her paintings and oftentimes prefers to just gift them to people.
- she is soooo funny. tatsu’s sense of humor comes from growing up with her, which is why you might hear them make jokes about her old age (which is really more of a coping mechanism on their end than they care to admit) -- both of their jokes can run just a touch dark sometimes.
(she's got a whole inside gag about how she has enemies but they're all mysteriously gone now. this is not true: she had one enemy, and it was her dead husband. she also will not hesitate to say that she knows she's going to live a long life because she's the unproblematic one--)
- her and tatsu both share a sweet tooth. she claims it's because she is so sensitive to bitter tastes, a trait which allows her to detect poison more easily. see above.
- though, speaking of sweets, she and tatsu have an evening ritual of having one chocolate truffle with tea after dinner. tatsu sneaks two chocolates every night and thinks they've successfully kept this from miyu all their life. miyu knows, but thinks the fact that tatsu is so convinced she doesn't know is funny.
- tatsu more or less knew about their father's infidelity at a young age -- not that miyu info-dumped the whole thing on them all at once, but miyu's fear was that if the truth took too long to reveal itself to tatsu later in life, the pain of the shattered image of a perfect father would be much greater. this did mean that tatsu spent more or less their whole life just hating their father, but at the moment it's not particularly anything either of them regret.
- miyu's reasoning for keeping her husband (minoru) around was entirely for his financial support. minoru's reason for staying was that he was far too used to not having to care for himself to bother striking out on his own. he was a housemate more than anything else; to miyu, he could do whatever he wanted, as long as he helped pay to support little tatsu. when he passed away due to illness in tatsu's teenage years, it didn't really impact them emotionally, but financially he got one more clapback in, refusing to bequeath any of his finances to miyu, and making tatsu wait until adulthood for any of his inheritance. miyu's own pension covers enough to get by, but tatsu still works at a convenience store when they're of age in order to cover things like groceries, things they want, savings, etc. so that they're not necessarily hurting for money.
- initially, miyu was completely at peace not having any kids. it wasn't that she couldn't, nor that she was entirely against the notion; she just didn't feel compelled, and minoru shared a similar disinterest. in that regard, there wasn't any bitterness over the fact that minoru wound up having a child with someone else; only entirely in the fact that he lied and cheated at all, that 40+ years of marriage had gone to waste - and especially because he'd had very few qualms with trying to leave tatsu's bio mom (naming her nicolette) to raise tatsu on her own. unfortunately for him, nicolette was in grad school and just did not have the time nor resources to care for a child on her own, as much as she would have wanted a child, and she was similarly pissed with minoru for his deception, having been led to believe minoru was a widower.
- both miyu and nicolette are kind of girls girls. miyu found out about nicolette and her pregnancy through nicolette herself first, because as soon as nicolette realized minoru had been lying and miyu was actually alive she was set on doing something about it. she was probably many months along at this point, and it was such a shitty time for both of them but miyu really did everything she could to help nicolette through it. once tatsu was born, miyu took them in, and while miyu offered nicolette to have contact they both wound up mutually agreeing to cut ties.
- really just love miyu because she took it upon herself to carry most of the weight of what was going on in spite of how much it hurt her too but she loves tatsu sooo much... and she is the most important person in tatsu's life. i don't think it's something they've talked about specifically but i think they both share this experience of having been unwanted in one way or another, and tatsu really is sensitive to seeing that kind of thing reflected in other people in one way or another (ex. i imagine tatsu just does not care for sae because what they see is sae not appreciating the fact that he has a brother who cares about him, etc.). tatsu really becomes more and more cognizant of this when they get older and they really do everything they can to make sure their mom stays happy for the remainder of her life.
- miyu loves women. crackship with reo's granny when--
- she walks with a cane but still has a lot of pep in her step. she still paints and makes things recreationally to keep her hands and fingers active. she also likes to build puzzles.
- she continues to try to take very good care of herself because she's determined to see as many of tatsu's life milestones as possible.
- she has a visiting nurse - her name is ayumi and miyu tells her absolutely everything about tatsu; how they're doing, every crush they've had, how sports are going, any friends they've made, etc. etc.
- for bllk-verse tatsu, the very first thing tatsu cashed in their goals on was their cell phone so they could call miyu to check on her.
- i mentioned it in tatsu's jjk verse but they became a sorcerer really to help pay for her care; she is not a sorcerer herself and doesn't really know what tatsu does in school at all aaaand i'll stop here for now --
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munch-mumbles · 6 months ago
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almost 3 months on t now (2 months 3 weeks) and its still so so so crazy to me. for the longest time i thought itd never happen and im so glad ive been able to get here. also so happy with where my voice is going YAYYY YAYYYYYYY
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kathaynesart · 2 months ago
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It is done! *falls down*
BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST
I have... so much to say on so many different things but it is 2:30 in the morning so I will keep this as brief as possible. First off, thank you to all my mom friends and mutuals who helped me with accurately portraying and normalizing the experience of giving birth. It is wonderful, and painful, and gross, and beautiful. I apologize if it made any readers squeamish (and I know there were a few gross jokes in there) but considering how gross the tv show got, I think it remained true to the overall vibe!
Second, I wanted to talk about the concept of "hope" in this story. When I first watched the movie, I felt like the idea of hope being their greatest weapon seemed sort of heavy handed and cheesy. However, after watching the ending of the show again I realized that hope is actually a huge reoccurring element in the story and a big part of what it means to be of the Hamato clan. Doubly so, I wanted Casey Junior in a way to symbolize that hope for Leo specifically, so when Leo talks about hope in the beginning of the movie, he's not just talking about some vague concept, but Casey Junior himself. He is their greatest weapon and he doesn't even realize it.
Thirdly, so uh... Casey Junior. I apologize if it had seemed out of left field, but do know that the decision of his origins was not made lightly. The shear similarity in his facial structure to Lou Jitsu as well as several other factors that I will refrain from stating due to future spoilers was too numerous to ignore! It is an integral part of his story for reasons that will go unsaid for now, and no, he does not know he's distantly related to them. Also, Big Mama! Been holding onto her concept for some time now! I loved the idea of her mystic broach becoming damaged so she can only be cloaked to a certain degree, making for an interesting blend of both her forms. She was really fun to figure out!
Finally thank you everyone for your patience. This special turned into quite the endeavor with most of the updates exceeding 20 pages each, but I'm so happy I was able to finish it... even if it did take so much longer than my projected hope. I can't wait to get back to the main storyline, though I shall miss these silly, overpowered boys. We got a lot of ground to cover and I'll likely be posting a summarized reminder before continuing. ...and after I finish work on some Zines and the holiday special winning commission!
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Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op
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Okay hold on
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also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.
More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:
wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents
rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)
I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband
foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.
Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.
#cameron watches the met gala with wilson and they make a tradition of judging the Shit outfits together (they both still suck at shopping)!#they still go shopping. but for silly obscure mugs! they make a death match outta it! foreman introduces them to ebay and decimates them!#it gets so bad house inlists amber to take them (wilson + cameron) shopping. somehow he and chase end up tagging along#chase and amber actually slay the house down. they are effective and vicious at shopping.#think crazy rich aunt who shows up once a month for a shopping spree therapy ses. and bad bitchin life advice. then you never see her again#later that night chase and foreman go out drinking. they have a bro moment get robbed and some how they're the ones who end up in jail#(probably for drunkenly disorder)#they get their phone call and chase is like noooo i cant tell mom and dad theylll be sooo disappointed in me :( (house is not)#foreman is like i gotchu bro and calls up cuddy at like 5 am. she brings rachel with her cause she cant be left alone yet#(its fine tho she was already up. kids r just Like That) she shows up eyebrow raised like 'Boys'.#foreman the lil shit points at chase straight face and says it was all his idea. his fault. tried to stop him but nooo he wouldnt listen 🙄#and since foreman is (canonically) cuddy's favourite she believes him.#thats how foreman gets brotherly revenge for chase always throwin the rest of the team under the bus and bein a lil snitch (affectionate)#chase regrets not calling cameron and facing her moral wrath for all of 5 mins. then they get to cuddys car#and chase lights up like a stage 4 cancer patient in a ct scan. cause rachel is in the car. and rachel ADORES foreman. finds him facinating#he's her new teddy. she asks him every question under the sun + leaves him covered in Child Stickiness. chase thinks this is an Opportunity#but plot twist foreman is great with kids. he listens and answers and gives fun neuro facts. rach makes the 😮 face kids make till shes 13.#she gets in trouble @school for diagnosing kids w/ stuff (mostly true) but her teacher is so confused about this kids family she just 👋#foreman always makes time for Rachel between cases holidays etc. and bring your kid to work day is right after her birthday.#so she goes every year spends the day in the teams or wilson's office. sitting in foremans lap until she just kicks him off and steals it.#also she has a height chart in foreman's Dark Shadowy Corner that she updates every year and everybody must Write A Note every year#on the flip side she hits chameron with the double 'why are you both blonde. sad.' and they both die of humiliation.#everyone thinks rachel'll take after foreman when she shows interest in medicine. she does. in a way. she goes into psychology :)#when she announces this (either in the clinic or in an ambulance over some guy who collapsed) house (who with wilson + cuddy coparent rach)#has what'll become known as The Great House Swoon of 2026 when rachel hits 18 yes i did math. he's fine tho. what's the logic behind this?#what season is it in? shhh no :) as a gift 4 college wilson gives rachel the dime she swallowed as a baby gold plated on a chain cause well#house md#gay dads hilson#h/w/c#the og ducklings
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boyapologist · 1 year ago
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you guys won't believe what happened tonight
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alygator77 · 4 months ago
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ᰔᩚ motherhood and matrimony - mlist ᰔ
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ꨄ︎ pairing. au ceo! satoru gojo x single mom secretary fem! reader
ꨄ summary. satoru gojo, the arrogant and irresistible heir to a billion-dollar corporation and the son of your boss, the ceo... but when satoru’s father dies unexpectedly, his inheritance hinges on a stipulation: he must marry and have a child, but the child doesn't necessarily have to be his, right? together, you strike a deal: a fake marriage that promises financial stability for you and corporate control for him. as the lines between business and emotion blur, you must decide if your partnership is purely contractual or if it could evolve into something real.
ꨄ︎status. ongoing
ꨄ︎ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, fake marriage, slow burn, smut, fluff, bit of angst, reader is single mom who recently broke off her engagement, satoru being a cute step dad, naoya is your crappy ex, some triggers of domestic abuse (it is emotional but it can be a bit suggestive/interpreted as physical, note this is from naoya not satoru)
ꨄ︎ words: currently 67k
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ꨄ︎ a/n. hello ya'll, my name is aly and if you read my fic thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! this story really hit the ground running, originally it was a request from a lovely anon ♡ and apparently i cannot write short fics for the life of me because it turned into something big lol, halp.. i'm unsure how many chapters it will have because i am just seeing where the inspiration takes me :') i will update tags/warnings as the story progresses. thanks for reading <3 (also this will have a happy ending)
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ꨄ︎ taglist: closed (ao3)
ꨄ series tags #mhm #motherhood and matrimony
♬︎ playlist
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ꨄ︎ chapters
ch 1 // circumstances and commitments
ch 2 // under the spotlight
ch 3 // fractured realities
ch 4 // shadows of doubt
ch 5 // a leap of faith
ch 6 // drenched in truth
ch 7 // pending..
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ꨄ︎ extra chapters
autumn special // harvesting happiness (read after ch 6)
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weirdmageddon · 1 year ago
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
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even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
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but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
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im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
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don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
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rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
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roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
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side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
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but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
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yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
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the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
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what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
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and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
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but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
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he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
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dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
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if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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