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maevefiction · 7 years ago

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 11

More than a week had elapsed since my last yoga session, and I was pleasantly surprised at my lack of stiffness. My iPod sat silent in the grass next to my mat…the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks proved to be the only music I required. Especially at six in the morning. The sun had just begun to rise behind us, its warmth exacerbating the flush my workout normally provided.

Simon’s skill level was far, far above mine, and some of the poses he worked through made me stop dead in my tracks as I admired the way his body seemed to defy the very laws of physics. He volunteered to work with me whenever we had the time, and I gratefully accepted, though I fully understood that a grace such as his was something that couldn’t be taught.

We chatted while cooling down, learning that our birthdays were only a day apart, his on October 30th, mine on October 31st. He found my being a Halloween baby hilarious, and I was tickled that we shared the same astrological sign. Fellow Scorpios - no wonder he’d liked my tank top. I tried to get him to reveal his birth year, but he adamantly refused until I offered mine up first. The look of delight on his face as he screeched out ‘me too!’ was adorable, and when he high-fived me and christened me his sister from another mister I embraced him and kissed his cheek, grinning at the lovely blush it caused.

I took a seat at the patio table and opened my laptop with the intention of starting work on Tom’s website design. Simon sat next to me, both of us facing the ocean, and he began typing away on his phone. He harrumphed and gave me some wicked side eye.

My brow furrowed. “For fuck’s sake, what NOW?”

He showed me his screen, scrolling through his inbox. “Seven more since last night. You’ve made an awful lot of extra work for me, woman.” I rolled my eyes. He turned on his chair to face me. “I’m curious, though…I thought you just lectured to and consulted with PR firms, which would mean their actual clients wouldn’t know much about you at all. So, it’s kinda surprising that an artist would be willing to jump ship and leave their current rep in the dust to wind up where you are, wouldn’t you say?”

I sighed and finished editing my open layer in Photoshop before replying. “I started out working directly with clients. My first was Anne Rice. She’s is a family friend and was willing to give me a cha…”

He put a hand on my shoulder and shoved. “GET. OUT. I’m assuming this means you’re from or lived in New Orleans at some point? But it mustn’t have been for long, because you have zero accent.”

“Your assumption is correct. Born there, raised there, relocated to New York City in 1998.”

He nodded emphatically. “So you dumped the accent. Understandable.”

It was my turn for side eye. “I didn’t dump it. It just…faded.”

He snorted. “Whatever you say, Maude.”

I pinched his arm, reveling in the resulting squeal he emitted. “Faded. I’m like a chameleon with accents. Soon I’ll be picking up your dialect and sounding like a pretentious asshat, too. In which case, you have my permission to kill me.”

“You can call me anything you like as long as you solemnly swear to take me to Mardi Gras next year.”

I rolled my eyes and held up my hand, palm towards him. “Simon. Please. I don’t think you’re ready for that sort of thing. But, if you start training now, we might be able to pull it off.”

He tilted his head like an oversized puppy. “Training for what? Drinking heavily? I’ve been training for that for years.”

“No. Throwing beads into the crowd. And doing the princess wave.” I demonstrated both. “Because if we go, you must ride on a parade float. It can be arranged. I know people.” I frowned. “At least, I used to know people. Anyway, what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted was that she was my first client, and it gave me a lot of clout. For which I am eternally grateful. I moved on after three years or so with her and began working directly with clients, most of whom were too small to have a decent PR firm behind them. I did everything, created websites, set up Facebook accounts, provided instructions on how to post, when to post, what to post, yada yada. Lots of hand holding and cajoling. Word spread, and bigger names took notice, which led to PR firms hiring me to work one-on-one with their clients for a specified duration. Most of them already had websites in place, so my focus shifted entirely to social media. In early 2010, I was invited to speak for two hours at a PR conference in San Diego…they wanted me to lecture on enhancing client reputation through social media. It was winter in New York, and they were willing to pay for my travel expenses so I thought, California? Fuck it, why not?”

Simon’s legs were crossed, his upper body leaning in towards me as he listened attentively. I had paused, and he motioned for me to continue.

“So, I spoke for two hours and they handed me a check for three thousand dollars. That was more than I normally made in an entire week and it blew my tiny little mind. It seemed to be vastly less stressful than dealing with super huge egos and non-tech savvy artists and damn, the money. I adjusted my entire business model, and within a month I was turning down engagements because my calendar was full. PR firms were still asking me for assistance, so I set up a consulting procedure wherein I’d outline a plan for them to implement, collected my fee and was on my way. It was all so…easy.”

He laughed loudly. “And you decided to work for Prosper why?”

“Because my ‘easy’ job and the cash it generated had taken over my entire life. I was the job and the job was me. Much to my surprise, lecturing and consulting long term turned out to be a soul sucking bore…and it transformed me into a miserable drudge. I am, at heart, a creative individual and I missed doing graphic and website design, photography, and learning new things. Terribly. Working for Prosper allows me to do all that again, and then some. That’s why.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin with one hand. “And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the exquisite creature sleeping soundly in your bed right now.”

“No, it doesn’t. He was actually the reason why I seriously considered declining Luke’s offer.” Simon looked puzzled, but I didn’t elaborate. “So. Why did you leave such a prestigious position at the Dorchester to become a PA? Just for Luke? Or is there more to the story?”

He grinned. “Damn, turned it right around on me, didn’t you? Touché, my friend. I went to university for business management and administrative assistance, and worked in the field until 2005. Cooking had always been my passion, and I had some sort of spiritual awakening wherein I decided I absolutely needed to become a professional chef or else I would shrivel up and die. So I did. I moved from place to place, learning, working, partying my ass off, and finally landed the sous chef spot at the Dorchester in 2009. It was dandy at first, but as the years passed I felt like I’d grown stagnant, doing the same thing night after night, having little input on menu changes and so on. Like you, I was bored. I was averaging 70 hours a week in that kitchen, cut off from the world, and it hit me that all I had gotten out of it was a nicely padded bank account…and that there was no one to share it with. I’d always loved being around lots of people, and there I was seeing nothing but the same damn faces day in and day out. In 2013 I happened across Luke’s ad, reworked my resume, and the rest is history. Unlike you, though, I don’t think I would have taken the job if it wasn’t for him, because the salary was abysmal. As soon as I saw him, I knew. He was it. The one. Love at first sight. I thank my lucky stars every single day that he felt the same way.”

After wiping the tears from his eyes, he took hold of my hand. “Maude, I don’t know if he’s mentioned it or not, but Tom’s had a rough time of it lately, and I’m so, so happy that you’ve found each other.”

“Me too, Simon.” I smiled, letting go of his hand. “Now, please, for the love of all things holy, shut your cake hole so I can get some work done, okay?”

“God, you are such a bitch.”

“I am. And you’re still talking. Cease.”

We worked quietly, side by side, until Luke poked his head out the doors to inquire as to when Simon planned on getting his butt in the kitchen and making some breakfast. As he got up from his chair, he peered over my shoulder at my laptop screen. I had a basic layout set and was in the process of choosing a color combination that would contrast perfectly.

“Wow, that’s a right brilliant color palette you have there, Maude. Is that for Tom’s site?”

I nodded. “Does it look…familiar?”

He stared. “Yes…maybe…should it?”

I opened the tab that contained the HD photo of Tom’s eye that I’d drawn all my color options from. “Tada.”

Simon poked my shoulder and called for Luke to come see. He padded out onto the lanai, looked over my shoulder, nodded, then put his hands on his hips.

“So, when are you going to use your magic to revamp the Prosper site?”

I closed my laptop and put my head in my hands, then pushed my chair back and went to wait in the kitchen, muttering to myself about peace and solitude and how I couldn’t find any even though I was in paradise.

Tom bounded our of our bedroom just as Simon was plating our pancakes and bacon, freshly showered, wearing a pair of faded, loose fitting jeans and a tight, light blue V-neck tee. I leaned back on my bar stool and around the counter to look at his feet. Scuffed, well-worn boots. When my eyes finally made their way up to his face I was greeted with a dazzling, toothy smile. I groaned.

Simon pinched his cheeks. “Lovely of you to join us, Thomas.”

Tom lowered himself elegantly onto the stool to my right, resting his hand on my spandex-clad thigh as he leaned in to kiss me.

“Good morning, Maude. How was yoga?”

“Spectacular, actually. Simon and I had a lovely chat and I even managed to get some work done in spite of it.” He laughed and began slowly sliding his hand up my leg, edging ever closer to the apex of my thighs. Simon set our plates in front of us, raising a brow as he spied what Tom was up to.

“Um, excuse me. This is a fine dining establishment, people. No foreplay is permitted.” I glanced up from my plate and saw Luke directly behind him, hand cupping Simon’s ass.

“Whatever, asshole.” I pointed at my short stack. “Do you have syrup for these?”

He pulled a pot off the stove and spooned some of its contents onto them. “Made with fresh pineapples. Especially for you.”

All eyes were on me as they waited for a reaction. I broke off a hunk of pancake with my fork and shoved it in my mouth. “Mmm, yummy. Thank you.” Luke looked at Tom, who shrugged. I took another bite of breakfast. “Yeah, nice try, losers. I happen to like pineapples. Just not on pizza.”

Tom put his arm around my waist, pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I had nothing to do with this. I swear it.”

I said nothing, ripping off a piece of bacon with my teeth instead. He tapped his fork on his plate.

“So, Maude, I was thinking…maybe we could take a ride out to Talk Story today? I called to see if Alani would be in, and she is.” I spun the stool around in his direction, dumbfounded. He smiled. “I did say I’d go back to meet her, did I not?”

“Yes. Yes you did.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “What an amazingly generous thing to do. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. You’re going to be the one in charge of crowd control.” He stole a strip of bacon from my plate and swallowed it down before I could even muster a protest.

“I’d rather corral a group of a hundred people than have to sit next to you while I’m trying to eat a fucking meal, bacon stealer. And everything else stealer.”

He snickered, and I wolfed down the rest of my food, rinsed my dishes, put them in the dishwasher and headed for the bedroom, finally noticing that Luke and Simon had disappeared. I wrote a giant ‘thanks for breakfast’ on the chalkboard in the kitchen and drew a smiley face to go with it, figuring we wouldn’t be seeing them again before we left.

*************************************** After my much needed shower, I wound up standing in my underwear, staring into yet another wardrobe wondering what the hell to wear. Tom looked too damn good for me to get away with shorts and a T-shirt, and my black tank dress just didn’t scream ‘please behave and listen to the nice lady’. Tom was waiting patiently for me, sitting at the desk answering emails and returning calls. I looked at his boots, then back and my limited selection of dresses. The brown chiffon galaxy print sleeveless wasn’t an exact match, but pretty damn close. I pulled it off its hanger and laid it on the bed so I could unzip the back without it winding up on the floor, chastising myself for giving in to my everything-must-coordinate OCD once again. I slipped it over my head, put my arms through the proper holes and managed to zip it up on my own, then went into the bathroom to figure out a hair strategy.

I’d just wrestled it into a braid when I overheard Tom talking in the bedroom.

“How’s Los Angeles? Elsa? Kids? Good to hear. Oh, she’s unbelievable, Chris. Here, I’ll take you in and you can meet her.” He came around the corner carrying his open laptop.

“Chris Hemsworth, Maude Gallagher.” He turned the screen toward me, and there he was, Thor, God of Thunder. In my bathroom. He held up a hand in greeting.

“Hello, Maude. Nice to meet you. See you? Skype you?” He face palmed. “I have no idea what the correct terminology is.” I heard a woman yell in the background that meet was fine and for him to bring the tablet over to her so she could see me. He got up and walked into another room, and a beautiful blonde woman came into view alongside Chris. She waved madly.

“Look at you, you’re gorgeous. A natural beauty. And that dress…I am in love with it. You must tell me where you found it.” Her accent was a delight. She grinned. “I’m Elsa, by the way. Tom has told us so much about you I feel like I know you already.”

I waved at them. “Hi there. Lovely to meet you both. I’d like to say Tom has told me so much about you, but that would be a big fat lie, so suffice to say I’m sure he will tell me so much about you when we aren’t quite so…so…shit, what’s the word I’m looking for here?”

Tom moved to stand next to me, shifting the laptop so we were both visible, smirking. “Preoccupied. The word you’re looking for is preoccupied.”

They laughed, and Chris grabbed at Elsa. “Remember when we were always preoccupied?”

She slapped his hand. “Oh yes. I do. And that’s why now we’re preoccupied with three little ones, my darling Christopher.” I heard children crying in the background. Elsa said a quick goodbye and ran off, and Chris followed suit so he could assist.

Tom put the laptop on the counter and pulled me to him, hands on my ass as he pressed me up against his crotch and rammed his tongue in my mouth, then backed away quickly, leaving me panting. “Well, I guess we should get going.”

I shot him a scathing look. “We should. But I have to pee first.” He walked out into the bedroom. As I sat on the toilet, I weighed my options for getting even. I mentally high fived myself as I pulled my underwear off over my feet and left them on the bathroom floor.

*************************************** We parked a block down from Talk Story, and I scouted ahead and left Tom in the Jeep. My gladiator sandals clicked on the sidewalk as I half-jogged to my destination, anxious to see if Alani was at the desk. She was, and I texted him to come on down. He ran to meet me, and I stopped him from holding the door for me and letting me go in first.

“Nope, you should be the first thing she sees.” I had my phone all ready to go in order to capture the moment, planning on sending her a copy as a keepsake. He walked through, and she looked up as the bell dinged to announce that someone had entered the store and the look on her face was one I knew I’d remember forever. He approached her, hand extended, and I was right behind him.

“Hello, Alani. I’m Tom.” She remained motionless. He turned to me. “This is Maude. We were here on Monday, and she told me that you’re a fan of my work and would perhaps enjoy meeting me.” She nodded, gingerly lifting her arm up but unable to make herself grab his hand. He took the initiative, holding it to his lips and kissing it demurely. She squealed, so high pitched I thought my ears might bleed. Four other girls came running out of the stacks, took one look at him, and began jumping up and down, screaming, phones in hand. I stopped filming so I could set the boundaries before any issues arose, stepping between them and Tom.

“Hi, ladies. I’m Maude, Tom’s social media manager. Let’s go over some ground rules, okay?” They lowered their phones and nodded. “Tom wants to be able to take pictures, sign for and chat with all of you, but in order for him to be able to do so you need to make sure you don’t post anything to social media until after we leave the premises. No texting or calling, either. If a crowd turns up, we’ll have to cut things short, and where’s the fun in that?”

A husky, bearded, bespectacled man came out from the stacks, wearing a white and green palm leaf print Hawaiian shirt and khaki hiking shorts. “Girls, what the heck is going on up here? Why all the screaming? You know people prefer quiet when they…” He stopped short when he saw Tom, his mouth dropping open, then quickly closing as he grew closer, hand proffered. I figured he was the owner, so I let him pass.

“Aloha, Mr. Hiddleston. I’m Roger Marshal, and Talk Story is my baby. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate your stopping by again…the girls were so bummed when they learned they’d missed you on Monday.”

Tom shook his hand vigorously. “Thank you for having me. Your establishment is outstanding…I’m a bit of a bibliophile, and if I had my druthers I’d be perusing the shelves here for days on end. My apologies for dashing off so quickly when I was in last, but I had a prior obligation and thought it better to come back when I had more time to spend.” He turned to me. “This is Maude Gallagher, my social media manager.”

I offered my hand and he clasped it gently with one of his, then placed the other on top. “Maude, nice to meet you. Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you both?”

“Actually, would you happen to have a room available that’s a bit more private?”

He nodded, then turned his attention to the desk. “Sure thing. Alani, why don’t you show our guests to the staff lunch room?” Her eyes lit up, and the faces of the rest of the staff fell. “Girls, you go too. I’ll cover the desk.” They thanked him in unison between excited giggles.

I tried to hang back behind Tom, but he slowed and fell into step with me and slipped his arm around me, hand on my lower back, whispering in my ear. “The way you jumped in and took charge did…things…to me, Maude.” His let his hand glide lower and lower, halting when he reached the spot where the waistband of my underwear should be. He felt around with his fingers, over my hip, diving quickly down into the crease of my left buttock then back up to my waist, gripping me just a smidge too hard.

I met his gaze, noting his narrowed eyes and the way his tongue darted out over and over to lick his lips. I smirked and whispered back. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I forgot to mention that I’m not wearing any panties. They sorta fell off back at the house and are lying on the bathroom floor, all alone and unloved.” The hand on my waist began to shake as we reached the staff room and he began breathing deeply as he attempted to keep his shit together. And round two of Friday’s Titillation Tease goes to…me.

Tom spent nearly two hours taking selfies, videos, signing anything the girls could get their hands on, and answering their seemingly unlimited supply of questions. The giant cup of tea I’d had on the ride over had finally hit my bladder, and I excused myself and went off in search of the bathrooms. There was only a one, unisex, located all the way on the other side of the store, tucked into an alcove deep in the stacks. Nice and roomy, too. I envisioned Tom fucking me up against the wall, then scolded myself for my blatant lack of restraint as I texted him precisely what I’d been thinking while I walked back to the staff room.

Roger had come back to check on them, which Tom took as an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He was hugging each of the girls goodbye in turn as they left the room, saving Alaini for last. She rested her head on his chest, facing me, and mouthed ‘he smells like a FOREST’ while hugging him tightly. Up until that moment, I hadn’t been sure whether she recognized me or not. She stepped back and looked at both of us.

“This has been, like, the best day of my life. I can never thank you enough.” Her eyes shone with tears. “Would it be okay if I took a picture of you guys together?”

I smiled. “Of course. But I think it would be better if you were in it, too.” We posed, and Tom held out her phone to get the shot. I was entering my Prosper email address into her phone so she could send me a copy and she was putting hers in mine so I could send her the video from earlier when she cleared her throat.

She looked up shyly. “Um, I don’t mean to be rude or get in your business or anything, but I was just, you know, wondering…” She swallowed. “Are you guys, like, a couple?”

Tom grinned. “Is it that obvious?”

Her brow furrowed. “Well, you know, I saw what you posted on Twitter yesterday and I was like, hmm, and I know you guys work together and now seeing you in person…yeah. It’s pretty obvious, I guess.”

Tom took my hand. “Yes, Alani. Maude isn’t just my social media manager…she’s my girlfriend as well. And can I let you in on a little secret?” She nodded, awestruck. “When you saw us here on Monday, that was the very first time we met. So you played a rather important role in what turned out to be the best day of my life so far.”

I kissed his cheek. “Mine too, Alani.”

Alani flopped onto the nearest chair, clutching her hands to her chest. “That. Is. So. Romantic.” She leapt back up and hugged me. “We all want him for ourselves, but if he has to be with someone else, I’m really glad it’s you.”

I patted her on the back. “Thank you. Hearing you say that means so much…honestly, I don’t have the words to express properly how it made me feel.” We let go of each other, and she made her way back to the desk.

I turned to Tom. “I need to hit the bathroom again before we head out.” He nodded and followed my lead. He didn’t mention my text, and I assumed he hadn’t read it yet. We didn’t see another soul on the way there, and the stacks outside the alcove were deserted as well. I recalled my vision of Tom fucking me against the bathroom wall and decided this was going to be my shining moment of public indecency. I opened the door, stepped in, then turned around to face him, left eyebrow raised.

“Want to join me?” I licked my lips. He barged past me into the bathroom, fingers already working to unbuckle his belt.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I locked the door, then did a 180. He held his fully engorged cock in his right hand, stroking it, catching any drips with his left. “I do believe I need to put this somewhere immediately so I don’t make a terrible mess on the floor.”

I bit my bottom lip as I tilted my head to the side. “I think I’ve got just the place for it.”

He ceased his stroking in order to back me up against the wall, growling in my ear. “Oh yes. You most certainly do.” He bent his knees as he lifted the front of my dress up to my waist, and I wrapped my leg around his, grinding my dripping pussy against him while I rubbed my clit. He groaned, and I slipped my glistening finger into his mouth. He sucked on it, and I felt the head of his cock at my entrance and his hands cupping my ass, his full weight on me, pressing me firmly against the cool tile.

He was panting. “Put your other leg around me and your arms around my neck.” I did the latter, but scoffed at the former.

“Um, there is no way in hell you’re going to be able to hold me up.”

He leaned forward to stare into my eyes, and his expression made me whimper. “Leg. Up. Now. Please.” As I complied he sheathed himself fully. I tried to bite back a ridiculously loud moan but was only partially successful. His mouth met mine, tongues dancing around each other. He pulled back.

“Maude, my apologies, but once I start moving I fear I’m going to last all of thirty seconds. If I’m fortunate.”

I clamped down on him. He began thrusting wildly, and I focused all my energy on not coming before he did. I was doing well until he started whispering in my ear using his Loki voice.

“Give in, mortal. Come for me. I know you’ve dreamed of this, me fucking into you for all I’m worth, you pinned against the wall, unable to sway those mesmerizing hips and have your way with me as you ride my cock to find your own selfish pleasure.”

He pounded into me, almost savagely, and as he felt my walls begin to flutter he put his hand over my mouth.

“Not. A. Sound.” I came, my scream trapped beneath his hand, the wet sounds of him moving in and out of me echoing eerily off the bathroom walls. “That’s it. Look at you, coming and coming all over my cock. So, so beautiful.”

He let his hand drop, and I could feel his thrusts becoming more erratic as I stared at him, his face red, jaw clenched, the veins on his neck standing out with his exertion. His head tipped back, fingers digging into the underside of my thighs, and his entire body shuddered as he orgasmed, come spurting hot inside me. I let my legs slide down one at a time, planting my feet as firmly as I possibly could despite the fact that they felt like they were made of Jell-O.

He rested his head on my shoulder, and I rubbed his back. “I guess this means you got my text after all.” I felt him nod. “Well, if this is what not wearing underwear gets me, I’m never putting on another fucking pair ever again.”

We both laughed, quickly cleaned ourselves up, and I peeked out the door to make sure the coast was clear. Still not a soul around, and we said a final goodbye to Alani on our way out and proceeded to walk back to the Jeep. We sat for a while, neither of us feeling quite capable of driving.

He leaned over to kiss me, hand on the back of my neck, grinning as he pulled away. “I’m famished. Want to grab something to eat before we head back?”

“You already know the answer to that.” I noticed the street getting a bit congested, a small pack of women heading in our direction and what appeared to be a local news crew up the road a bit…I pulled out my phone and checked Alani’s Twitter feed. She’d posted the photo of all of us.

Here’s me just a little while ago with Tom Hiddleston and his girlfriend, Maude. He smells like a pine forest, and she’s super nice. #bestdayever, #thankyoutomandmaude

I showed it to him. “I’m thinking maybe we should stop somewhere a little further down the road. You?”

He started the Jeep, put it in first and stalled it as he tried to pull away from the curb, and then again on his second try. He smiled at me sheepishly. “Perhaps you’d better drive.”

“Gee, ya think?” We got out and switched places. I shook my head. “What a newb.”

He crossed his arms. “I am not a newb. I’m just out of practice is all.”

I patted his thigh as we got to the highway. “Right. Rusty stick skills. I remember.”

He chortled. “Yours remain top notch though, my love.”

I smiled smugly. “They do, don’t they?”

He raised his index finger. “Although, technically, you didn’t actually make use of them this go round, did you?”

“I’ll make up for it next time.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Well I’d fucking hope you’d hold me to it. That’s the whole point.” I saw a McDonald’s sign in the distance. “Dude, I want some French fries in the WORST way. And a chocolate milkshake. You game?’

“I most certainly am.”

“If you behave I’ll let you have my cherry.”

“Bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“How rude.”

“Perhaps. But true.”

“Not entirely true.”

“What do you mean, not entirely true?”

I turned off the highway and into the parking lot. The drive through line was mobbed, but the lot itself was relatively empty. “I mean that the fact that it’s a bit late for you to have my cherry is only partially correct.”

He stared at me as I engaged the parking brake, puzzled, then shook his head. “I’m not following.”

The left corner of my mouth scrunched up in mock irritation. “Really? Are you sure?” He shrugged, palms up. “Think about all we’ve…done.”

“Maude.”

“Good. Now think about what we haven’t done.” I gave him a few moments to review, watching his face closely so I’d see it dawn on him. 3…2…1…aaaannndd there it was. His jaw slackened, hips lifting almost imperceptibly. “That’s right. I’ve played around, sure, but as far as actually having a cock in my ass…nope. Which means, technically, my anal cherry is still intact.”

He covered his face with his hands, groaning, but said nothing.

I went in for the kill. “So, Thomas…tell me. Would you like my cherry?”

Shaking his head, face still hidden, he spoke in a low voice. “Maude.” He paused, remaining silent for quite some time, seemingly avoiding my question. I wondered if I’d overstepped some sort of boundary, pushing him too far.

My mind was racing, and I frowned. “Wow. I’m really sorry, Tom.”

He uncovered his face to take my hand, gazing at me with eyes full of concern. “Whatever for?”

“Because I put you on the spot there and just assumed it’s something you’d want to participate in. I didn’t stop to think that it’s something that might not be up everyone’s alley.” I rolled my eyes. “That didn’t come out…shit…DAMN. Anyway, that was incredibly presumptuous and I apologize for letting myself get so carried away. Please don’t feel like it’s something you have to…”

He leaned in to kiss me forcefully, covering my entire mouth with his, tongue darting over my lips, then pulled away before I could fully engage. “May I answer your question now?”

I shook my head. “Tom, you don’t need…”

“I know I don’t need to, but I WANT to. My answer is, with undeniable certainty, yes. Please accept my apology for not answering straight away. I’m afraid I was too busy thinking about how deliciously tight you’re going to feel around me and then I remembered that you aren’t wearing panties and it was all I could do to stop myself from dragging you onto my lap and fucking you right here in the McDonald’s parking lot.”

His eyes met mine, nostrils flaring, pupils blown wide open. Never before had I been able to do this to a man, make him want me so desperately using nothing but words. He squeezed my hand.

“That you’d trust me with something so intimate, bequeathing me such a precious gift, wishing to share something that you’ve not yet experienced with another, is…I’m honored, humbled, awestruck…so very many things.” He smiled timidly. “I’ve never been someone’s first anything before.”

My brows shot up, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.

“Maude, there’s something I’d like to ask you, but…”

“Shoot.”

“All right. This may be terribly intrusive, and feel free to not answer it if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, but…knowing what I do about you, sexually, I’m…surprised…that you…erm, never…anyway, I suppose I’m just wondering why.”

I sighed. Good job, Maude. This is what you get for trying to be a seductress.

“Long story short, you’re only the fourth person I’ve been intimate with. The first two were before I was twenty and not even remotely interested in such a thing. By the third I was very interested, but things fell apart before it happened.” I put my arms on the steering wheel and rested my forehead on them for a moment, then raised my head and turned to him. I couldn’t quite read the expression on his face.

“Okay, I’m not sure if that look means ‘I didn’t need to hear that’ or ‘wow, only three, what a loser’.”

He shook his head. “It’s neither. Well, maybe a bit of the first one, because the idea of you being with someone else is much more unpleasant than I would have imagined, but…it was mostly surprise that such an incredibly beautiful, intelligent, hilarious woman wouldn’t have men lining up to be with her.”

“Thomas. Stop being so fucking wonderful, won’t you? Christ. There was no line, believe me. I’ve always been at least a little chubby, but after I moved to New York I put on a huge amount of weight. There are reasons for that, but that’s another story for another time. By 2003 I was tipping the scales at two hundred and forty-seven pounds. I’ve always been a confident person, and I honestly never cared what anyone else thought about the way I looked, but…you know what I’m getting at here, I think. In late 2008 I started feeling like shit, and Anne, who’d nearly died due to undiagnosed diabetes in 2003, pushed me to see a doctor. Sure enough, that was the problem. It was early, and resolvable with lifestyle modifications. So, I kicked myself in the ass, and over the next year I lost more than eighty pounds, and that was when I…a woman in her sexual prime, in the best shape of her life…met number three. God bless him…I was on a mission, making up for lost time and he could barely keep up with me. One time I actually thought he was going to need an ambulance…sheese, why I am telling you this? Yikes. Sorry. Lord knows I don’t want to hear anything like it from you.” I unbuckled my seat belt. “Let’s pretend this never happened and go get those milkshakes, m’kay?”

He grabbed my arm as I opened the door, and I turned to meet his gaze. “I…Maude…I just…you are…everything about you…” He shook his head. “I fall deeper in love with you with every passing moment.”

“Right back atcha, baby.” He laughed. “Yeah. No way I was going to try and out-eloquent you there. Waste of time and energy.”

We went inside, his arm around my shoulders, and ordered two Happy Meals when we saw the new toys were Minions. Neither of us could resist playing with them as we ate. Tom went back for a Big Mac and chicken nuggets, which I shared. He stuck his fingers in through the lid of my milkshake, deftly picking up the cherry and popping it in his mouth, a huge smile on his face.

We both used the bathroom, separately, and as we were walking back to the Jeep I heard the voice of a young boy.

“Mom, Mom! That man over there! That’s the man you’re always looking at on your computer!”

A woman replied to him. “Mason, what are you talking ab…?” And with that, I knew she’d seen Tom. I pulled at his shirt, and he looked down at me and nodded. We turned around and waved. The woman was about my age, maybe a little older, and she looked like she might die of embarrassment when she realized we’d overheard their conversation. Tom strode over, hand extended.

“Hi there. Tom Hiddleston. And you are?” She moved as if in a trance, hand out, and he grasped it gently and shook.

“I…uh…um…Sarah. I’m Sarah. And this is my son, Mason.”

Tom beamed and shook Mason’s hand as well. “Lovely to meet you both.”

Sarah reached into her purse, dug around and pulled out a Coriolanus program. She cleared her throat. “I heard that you’d be on the island and I’ve been carrying this with me, you know, just in case.”

He took it from her. “Were you in attendance?”

Mason piped up. “We flew all the way across two oceans so she could go see your show. I saw Big Ben. It was really cool.”

Sarah was bright red. “I saw it twice, actually, but didn’t have time to stay after.”

Tom pulled a sharpie out of his back pocket. “May I?”

She grinned. “Please do.” He signed his name, as well as a message. ‘Sorry to have missed you there, but better late than never. Glad to finally have met you. XO’”

As he handed it back to her he asked if she’d like a picture with him. He introduced us, and I volunteered to do the honors so Mason could squeeze in as well. I gave him my Minion to keep him occupied while I took some shots of just Sarah and Tom. He held it up to give it back to me when I handed Sarah back her phone.

“Nope, buddy, that’s yours now.” I held out my hand to Tom and he put his toy in it. “In fact, you can have Tom’s too. This way he gets to stay with his friend and won’t be lonely.” He thanked me so quietly I could barely hear him, eyes full of wonder at what to an adult was such a small gesture.

Tom hugged them both goodbye, and Sarah embraced me as well. She smiled at my surprise. “Thank you, both of you, so much.”

Tom put his arm around my waist as we walked the rest of the way back to the Jeep, placing a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“It is my personal opinion that you’re a much kinder, gentler person than you’d like everyone to believe.”

I sighed. “Yeah, yeah. And it’s all your fucking fault, too.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 11

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evakfanficsrecs · 8 years ago

Text

Hello, babes!

Another month has passed (how the hell did that even happen?!) and I’m finally here with a new, pretty darn long masterpost with recs of all the Evak fics I’ve recently enjoyed! As you can imagine, I’ve read quite a few of them in the span of one month, so when I say this is a long one... it really is a long one. That being said, I hope you guys enjoy!

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “★”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “✓”.

ONESHOTS:

The Balloon Intervention by lovelycarcass ★ Summary: uni!au; “Dropping hints,” Elias repeats incredulously. “This guy is about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. His crush was just painfully oblivious.” “Can you believe he’d emptied the fucking tissue dispenser just to get his attention?” Mutta snorts. Or, Even wants to get Isak's attention and the Balloon Squad decide to take matters into their own hands.

give it to the person you love by Joana789 Summary: Sometimes Isak thinks Even’s laugh is brighter than the sun.

Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath a Landslide by Alliesana Summary: neighbors!au; Isak's neighbor plays his guitar every night. Isak falls asleep to it every night until he doesn't.

I’m Not That Innocent by quickwitlips & walkthetalk ★ Summary: There’s a Halloween party coming up. Eva’s convinced Isak to do a matching costume with her, because no one else will. It’s Britney, bitch.

du og jeg for alltid by Sabiduria Summary: "Are you seriously going to make me sleep on the couch because I beat you in FIFA?!" Isak doesn't like to lose.

yearn to live my love by mauede Summary: “Hi,” Isak repeats, and his warm breath fans out over Even’s cheek. “Hi, baby.” Isak’s cheeks flush, and he glances down at Even’s lips, chasing the sound. Baby. * In which Isak really likes kissing Even and Even likes it quite a lot, too.

Join Me? by bashfulisak Summary: Eskild drags Isak out to a club for his 18th birthday and despite Isak's negative thoughts about how the night is going to go, it doesn't go too bad. Especially when he meets a good looking guy in the restroom.

he might give you a look by dobriks Summary: It's for him, those raviolis, it's calling him (or maybe it's just his hunger that's making him imagine things, but whatever) and Isak's stomach is grumbling in anticipation as he extends his hand to grab it– But meets something human shaped instead of feeling the plastic material beneath his fingertips. First of all, what the fuck.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley ★ Summary: After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Ring On It by TotallyTinkerbell Summary: roommates!au; Isak's room is the biggest mystery of the kollektiv, and only the guys that Isak hooks up with from time to time, get to see it. Needless to say, Even is jealous.

The Notebook by TotallyTinkerbell ★ Summary: Even notices Isak at the library and gets terribly distracted from the studying that he is meant to do. His notebook slowly fills itself with drawings of the boy rather than with his history notes. Even knows he should just go up to his crush, it’s a crush there is no point denying that, and say hi.

let me whisper in your ear by grinsekaetzchen (Part 2 of the ‘our favorite parts are what we’ll keep’ series) ★ Summary: In which some of the cast of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ go to Stockholm Comic Con, the fans are loud and Isak manages to find a bit of quiet in-between all that.

You Think You Can Be Quiet, Baby? by Victory4 Summary: Isak think's he'll win a little sexual competition between him and Even, and discovers how truly wrong he is.

Inbox: (1) New Email by eiqhties Summary: A story about falling back in love, one tweet, instagram post and email at a time.

and when it comes to eating peaches by Misscaitlin_g Summary: Isak moves from his seat, straddles Even’s lap, and whispers in his ear, “I want to lie back on those pillows and for you to lick me all night long.” Or, Isak is spoiled and Even gives him whatever he wants.

let's get physical by cosetties (Part 2 of you better work, bitch series) ★ Summary: Even can't handle yoga at all, but mostly, he can't handle Isak doing yoga in those godforsaken leggings. Maybe his plan to take things slow enough to romance Isak properly didn't take into account Isak himself.

love comes knocking by tarjeiandhenrik Summary: There's a really cute boy living a floor above Isak's flat and throwing up is usually not Isak's ideal first meet but well.

The Same Morning by GayaIsANerd Summary: Morning softness. * The same morning, through both eyes.

You call the shots, babe. by kaleidxscope Summary: uniau; Who the fuck plays an Arctic Monkeys' song at a party? Or: Isak and Even meet on a party and the soundtrack is just on top.

that's what friends are for by dobriks Summary: Even is desperate, Isak likes him, and Jonas listens to both of them rant about each other to him.

Everytime I look into your eyes I feel it by candysky Summary: Isak wasn’t even trying to hide the lust swimming in his eyes at the sight of his boyfriend looking almost criminally hot in his James Dean biker avatar. (Or, A one shot of an eventful day in the lives of Isak and Even where Even surprises Isak by riding up on a Harley, prompting a spontaneous road trip that takes them to interesting places.)

checking (you) out by everythingislove (narrylife) Summary: After being dumped via text, Isak goes on a late night run to the grocery store for some breakup comfort foods. Even is the cute clerk who happens to be working the checkout line.

when it's good by mikaeloboukhal Summary: Life with Even is good. Until it's not.

i was busy thinkin' bout boys (not like i had a choice) by Behindthecities Summary: In which Isak realizes he likes boys, falls for boys, and then ultimately loves a boy (and the boy loves him back). * A character study inspired by "Boys" by Charli XCX.

Tattoo by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Even gets a tattoo.

Blah Blah Blah by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Eskild finds Isak blackout drunk at a gay bar at 2am.

4 times the promises made to isak were broken + 1 time it wasn't by mellowgay Summary: Or, Isak gets in an accident and Even is his doctor.

Right in Front of My Salad by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: "Let me guess. You're the type of guy who eats salad," said Isak. "Among other things," Even winked. * Or Isak doesn't believe in love until he meets the new cashier at the supermarket who makes him realize that vegetables aren't actually that bad.

feelings that i adore by thekardemomme ★ Summary: neighbors!au; Isak loves Even’s dog, and Even loves Isak. Turns out it’s more mutual than they think.

Peep Show by riyku Summary: This might be the kinkiest thing Isak's ever done, the only kinky thing he's ever done, but he's committed to it by now, and screw it, he's gonna give this guy something worth watching.

the privilege of being yours by toboldlyfly ★ Summary: “You said my nose was cute and squishy!” Isak replies, pouting. “You’re right, I lied. Your nose is the squishiest, and it’s gorgeous. It’s my most favourite thing about you.” Even touches the tip of Isak’s nose, pushing it left and right. He laughs at the face of annoyance Isak is probably making. He always did say that grumpy and pouty Isak was the one he enjoyed the most. * Or, Isak and Even spend a morning in bed together laughing, kissing and falling in love all over again (but what's new about that).

Car fears by sanameskini Summary: What starts with Even trying to calm Isak down after freaking out in the car, ends with Even confessing his own fears.

baby take your teeth out by yellowcurtainss Summary: Isak gets his wisdom teeth removed. Cuddles, cursing, and chaos ensue.

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Crucifixion Shirt by 6xqb9u004n Summary: Eskild had no idea who the hottie in the bathroom was, but he was pretty sure the guy was wearing his shirt. - Eskild meets Even during 3x05.

kjærlighet by thekardemomme ★ Summary: Love letters or suicide notes. (Alternatively: Even finds a love letter Isak wrote to him.)

i feel your energy rushing through me by babygayisak Summary: Isak and Even are soft in a bed on a Sunday afternoon.

The Parking Lot from Hell by dear_ida Summary: Isak loses both his boyfriend and their car in the mall parking lot. Even thinks it's funny. Isak thinks he can suck his own dick.

Baby's First Pride by 6xqb9u004n Summary: “So does this mean you’re ‘gay-gay’ now?” - Eskild helps Isak get ready for his first Pride Parade.

A Glimmer Of Hope Like An Exhale Of Smoke by CupcakeCait Summary: What happened after Isak and Even were caught kissing in the pool.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts ★ Summary: childhood friends!au & neighbors!au; “Um, Even?” “Yeah?” “Do friends kiss other friends?” Isak asked. Even looked amused again. “Sometimes." Or, the AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Can I? by AifaSkam ★ Summary: “Why did you want to get a live portrait?” “Actually, my friends kind of dared me to do it.” says Isak."if you don't want it, can I keep it?"

I call'em as I see'em...But Sometimes I Don't See So Well by HazyCosmicJive Summary: uni!au, Hate to Love!au & roommates!au; Isak just wants to study, he doesn't want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience.

Take Me As I Am by givemesumaurgravy ★ Summary: “I’ve seen you watching me, you know,” Isak breathes as he pauses to bite Even’s shoulder, earning a small gasp from Even. Even groans, low and throaty as Isak runs his tongue over the broken skin. “I’ve seen you staring at me as I coach your daughter. And then today, I noticed you not being able to take your eyes off me while we played on the field,” Isak teases, his tongue lapping up stray droplets that pool on Even’s clavicle. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” “You’re just… so pretty,” Even says through a hitch in his breath as Isak’s fingers brush over his nipples. * Or, the one in which Isak is the coach of Even’s daughter’s football team and Even likes Isak’s bum. One day there’s a parent football game and Isak, just maybe, starts hitting on Even and, just maybe, Even gives in.

i don’t believe in yoga by rose02 Summary: Even Bech Næsheim runs and teaches at Under Vann yoga studio, and Isak Valtersen lost a bet to which the punishment was to go to a yoga class in hot pink yoga pants. Needless to say, this will be an interesting class. Featuring a flustered Isak, and a slightly bitter Even.

Oh baby, let me kiss you by Loveevak Summary: Isak has a crush on Even and gets a chance to sit next to him as an audience at a singing competition in their school.

New Year's Minute by killercatchy Summary: soulmates!au; Alternate universe where you have a timestamp of when you’ll meet your soulmate. The first minute of every year, you spend in your soulmates body. * When Isak is invited to a new years party with the rest of the boys, he hesitates at first. With a timestamp like his, staying home is always the safer option.

And you use it only for me by Skamisako ★ Summary: “Just wait ‘till I tell you how wrong you were about this, Isak!” Even sing-songs making Isak blink a couple of times and then smile bashfully, looking down at his phone again.Even grins to no one in particular as he pushes through the door and decides that making Isak blush will definitely be his favorite hobby from now on. OR: Isak works at a bookstore and Even can't stop buying ridiculous books to make him blush.

i'm not a twink i'm a TWUNK by lovedisak Summary: “What?” Isak interrupts. “Mh?” “I’m a what?” “Oh, a twink is like a young little gay-“ “Yes, I know what a twink is,” Isak rolls his eyes. “Oh,” Eskild goes back to his gingerbread cookie. “Then why did you ask?”

makin' me a mess by itjustkindahappened Summary: fake dating!au; The boy gives him a look of alarm, making a weak attempt at drawing his hand back, but Isak keeps holding it convulsively as he looks pleadingly into the stranger’s eyes. “Listen, this is super humiliating for me but I’m currently getting stood up on a date and my ex is a waiter here and he’s already been walking past my table too many times and looked far too satisfied for it to be casual so can you please just—pretend to be my date or something? I’ll pay for dinner and everything, I’m really sorry about this, I just—please?”

Ready For Those Flashing Lights by ultimatelawrence ★ Summary: It was meant to be harmless: taking a sneak photo of a hot stranger to send to Eva. Expect it's not so harmless when the flash is on.

last night by bbyfruit ★ Summary: fake dating!au; Alright, so Isak is pretty used to waking up hungover in the middle of the afternoon, especially at this point in his seventeen years of living. He’s also pretty used to waking up in Jonas’s bed, usually with Jonas curled up beside him, light that comes in through Jonas’s window and hits Isak right in the face. What he’s not used to is Jonas’s arm slung over his hip and no memory of what the fuck got them to this point.

Hopeless by waitineedaname Summary: fake dating!au; There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust. He was hopeless.

first dates by princevaltersen Summary: fake dating!au; Isak asks Even to be his fake date to an engagement party.

might become my lover, for real by evamohns Summary: fake dating!au; It’s Even who finally does it, hooks his finger around Isak’s before turning his hand over and nudging at Isak’s palm with his until they’re holding hands, Isak flexes his fingers in the grasp – still looking at the floor.

Shower Me With... Beer? by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: “Um, what… what are you doing?” Isak finally managed to splutter out, his eyebrows furrowed, nose scrunched up in confusion.Tall Handsome Stranger paused, his hands stilled around the bunched-up fabric by Isak’s armpits, his stomach now on full display. “Taking your shirt off,” the boy responded as if it were the simplest, most casual sentence that ever left his lips, as if those four words spoken in that smooth, low voice didn’t stir up a whole swarm of butterflies in Isak’s stomach and send a rush of blood south. “It’s drenched- which is my fault, really sorry, I definitely wasn’t looking where I was going- but I’m pretty sure if it’s not already completely uncomfortable, it will be soon if you keep wearing it.”

time isn’t wasted (if you’re getting wasted) by thekardemomme Summary: Isak is the best at holding his liquor, and the best at flirting with hot guys at parties.

respect my existence, if not expect my resistance by kosektivet Summary: A lot changes in a year, for example: Eva finally came out, Eskild got a boyfriend and Isak takes pride in himself now. * Or, a Pride Parade little au thingy.

Even. by bashfulisak Summary: Jonas drags Isak to a party and he meets a good looking third-year named Even.

Bigsby the Matchmaking Cat by smilexdarling Summary: Even owes his future love life with a grumpy kitten-man to a grumpy actual-cat.

Of Missed Classes and Campus Cafes by HazyCosmicJive ★ Summary: uni!au; Isak started the day knowing it was just going to worse. He looked like shit and he felt like shit and then he goes and crashes, no literally crashes, into the most attractive boy he's ever seen, yet the boy doesn't seem so upset about the event .Isak is a hot mess, and Even is just hot.

Imagine Redux by fandomlimb Summary: Even usually has no problem singing in public. He enjoys it, enjoys how karaoke can bring a whole crowded room together, allow strangers to let their guards down and shout at the top of their lungs in off-key unison. But when from the periphery of his vision he sees the door to the bar swing open—letting a beam of sunlight into the room, illuminating the figures of his five ex-best friends—his normally steady voice fails him.

it all works out in time by Valariia Summary: Based on a Humans Of New York story. Isak meets a pretty boy in a club under some unusual circumstances.

Privileged Information by champagneleftie Summary: Valtersen, Isak Valtersen, has been assigned to stake out Even Bech Næsheim. It doesn't quite go according to plan.

love doctor by princevaltersen Summary: co-workers!au; “Looking through Tinder and rating guys in the paediatric unit is definitely something that you shouldn’t be doing at work.”

The Powerhouse of the Cell by colazitron Summary: It's odd, being at Sana's when she and Isak aren't quite friends, but Isak may have found a reason to repeat the experience in Sana's brother's gorgeous friend.

i'm yours by princevaltersen Summary: “I love you, Even. You are the best thing in my life.”

No Flirting in the Science Lab by smilexdarling Summary: co-workers!au; Isak and Even fall in love at school, but this time, they're the teachers.

hurra for deg by colazitron Summary: Isak is a bit off when he and Even join their friends in the park. Sana notices. Or: an episode tag of sorts to Isak and Sana's talk on the bench, and Even and Isak's encounter with a bigot on Isak's birthday.

Why can't forever start today? by skambition ★ Summary: “Since when are you wearing rings?” Jonas pointed to Isak’s left ring finger. “Um,” Isak looked down at his hand, moving his thumb over the simple white gold ring, and couldn’t help but smile, “I actually have something to tell you guys.” “What, did you get married or something?” Magnus blurted out, bursting into laughter with the rest of the guys.

Let's Fall in Love Tonight by smilexdarling Summary: Jonas and Eva aren't the only ones with that loving feeling at their wedding. Who knew donuts and dancing could be so potent?

do you like or like, like me? by cosetties ★ Summary: Isak is totally down for supporting Jonas through the whole liking boys thing, but it's a little hard when that boy is Even.

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains Summary: co-workers!au; Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

you make my face red and my heart beat by empty_venom Summary: childhood friends!au; Alternatively: 4 Times Isak Asks Even About Hickeys (+1 Time They Get Their Shit Together).

dear, don't you be nervous by chasingflower Summary: fake dating!au; Sometimes, Isak wishes he could just keep his mouth shut. It would solve a lot of his problems. (Or, Isak tells Eskild that he's dating Even, the boy he likes, but hasn't said any more than ten words to. It's not the best situation.)

thoughts of unruly curls and plush lips by reasoniwantyoutostay Summary: Isak and Even get consumed by thoughts of each other before meeting up for the Halloween pre-game. AKA What happened before 21:21.

Can't We Be Sweethearts? by HazyCosmicJive Summary: co-workers!au; In which Isak and Even work at a summer carnival together.

i could not want you more than i did right then by chasingflower ★ Summary: “Isak?” Even calls, sounding faintly amused. Isak groans again in response, and he hears muffled snickering by the door frame. “Any particular reason that you’re on my bed?” Isak groans again. "I’m not moving.” Even moves and sits at the end of his bed, gaze fixed on Isak’s face. “But, as I’ve said, it’s my bed.” “My day was fucked, Even,” Isak whines, and rolls over to give Even a pout. “I’m tired and I don’t want to move. It’s my bed now.”

what a glorious feeling by colazitron Summary: Supposedly kissing in the rain is only good in movies. Isak thinks that's more to do with your partner than the rain.

Oral Fixation by sensualstalker Summary: "He let his fingers wander over Even's cheek bones. He was watching out the window trying to remember what type of clouds he was seeing when he felt a warm sensation on his fingertip. He glanced down and found Even's lips wrapped around it, eyes still closed. When Isak stopped breathing, Even's eyes rolled open and turned to stare up at Isak. He opened, letting Isak take his finger back and now both jaws were gaping." * Or Isak wants to try something new and Even is totally down for it.

Notes by bashfulisak Summary: Even writes Isak little notes for him to see every morning while he has work-and sometimes, roles change.

i guess we should get a room by highpraises ★ Summary: “Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” Even mumbles against Isak’s lips. “Hopefully you will.” * Isak and Even are horrible hosts and friends.

sweet taste of love by toboldlyfly ★ Summary: They're both meme-lords, but this turns Isak on a little. Even likes to make inappropriate noises in public; Isak is chill about this on most days. There is neglect of ice cream, boys in love and sweet sugary kisses.

Nourishing Courage by colazitron Summary: childhood friends!au; Isak somehow finds himself part of the revue and Even helps him practice.

In the Eye of the Beholder by HazyCosmicJive ★ Summary: fake dating!au; After weeks of Even using him as a 'muse' and refusing to let him see it Isak is attending Even's first art exhibit. And to make it all worse he's going as his fake boyfriend, which wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't hopelessly in love with him.

Woo Me With Your Words by obscurial Summary: coffee shop!au; It’s not very often that Isak finds the confidence within himself to approach a handsome guy in a café. (A coffee shop au in which Even is Isak's favourite author.)

this room and everything in it by thekardemomme Summary: Even’s loved Isak for about as long as they’ve been together. It hasn’t been that long, but it’s everything, and Even needs to say it.

Morning Activities by bashfulisak ★ Summary: Even wants his coffee - Isak is sorta in his way - but Isak makes an offer.

The Kitchen Cupboards by dear_ida Summary: Even has a thing about leaving cupboard doors open. Isak thinks it's cute. They dance a bit.

fundamentals of being a wannabe creative media and communication person by greitnok Summary: A glimpse of pretentious film student Even and his supportive (questionable at times) but grumpy boyfriend Isak's daily lives.

it's kind of a funny story by dobriks Summary: "This is so weird" the guy said in an apologetic tone, "But– I, hm, can I use your bathroom?" "What?"

Boys In Photographs by stories_and_dreams ★ Summary: Isak and Even are mesmerized by the beautiful boy they see in Eva's photographs.

For next day will a stranger bring by lovelycarcass Summary: coffee shop!au; On Tuesdays, without fail, Isak's first customer orders a drink at the café, gives a name and leaves. He never uses the same name twice.

His, forever by TeaHouseMoon Summary: "What are you hungry for, then?" Even stares back. "You. I'm hungry for you."

Come and paint the world with me tonight by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: fake dating!au; "If he had been smart and sober enough to say no, he wouldn’t be stood in a church he definitely shouldn’t be in, wearing a suit that was far too tight and a rainbow coloured bow-tie."

the time it took by Joana789 ★ Summary: Isak kept looking at him, kept seeing what it was like to be proud. What it was like to be yourself. Or Five people who taught Isak how to love.

CHAPTERED:

latching onto you by Behindthecities ★ Summary: fake dating!au; In which model!Isak and director!Even get caught drunkenly making out with each other by the paparazzi at the club and the only solution to it is to pretend to be each other’s boyfriends.

Date? by frenc Summary: Even has a date on Sunday. And he asks his best friend Isak for help.

All We Do by milk_o_vich Summary: The boy – who Isak had never seen before – was beautiful. Isak had often seen boys and thought that they looked hot; thought about kissing them or hooking up with them; had seen his fair share of porn to know that he liked looking at boys and liked fantasising about them. But he’d never seen a boy and thought he looked beautiful before. A.k.a. an au where Even is a penetrator and Isak meets him in his first year at Nissen.

Cut and Rewind by allyasavedtheday ★ ✓ Summary: “Now. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?” Even swallows around the bitter tang in his throat and settles for the shortest version of his medical history that he can possibly pin down. “I’m bipolar. I was diagnosed with depression first when I was seventeen since the symptoms were more noticeable. But in February of last year I got my proper diagnosis after I had a major manic episode. One of the biggest triggers was my struggle with my sexuality. I slipped into a severe depressive episode afterwards and missed so much school that I ended up dropping out.” He recites it like lines from a script, like if he’s detached enough the words won’t really be about him. It doesn’t make them any easier to push out though. * Season 4 from Even’s point of view.

and it falls just where it needs to be by mmxii Summary: summer camp!au & co-workers!au; He’s only been back for seven minutes, but Isak is already so done. Or an au where Isak works at a campsite and there’s suddenly a new guy joining their team. Featuring a completely chill Isak, a suspiciously quiet cat, and a three-year-old asking way too many difficult questions.

Not Everything Is About You by HazyCosmicJive Summary: Hate to Love!au & roommates/neighbors!au; Isak hates his neighbor. He's loud, he's inconsiderate, and he's loud. When he finally gets a well deserved break from his obnoxious neighbor, somehow the asshole ends up flooding his entire apartment. He doesn't want to do it, but with nowhere else to go he ends up taking the guy's offer up and staying with him until his apartment is useable again.

Viva Las Vegas by ahana Summary: They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Of course, with Isak’s luck, what happens in Vegas kicks his ass and follows him back to Oslo.

If You Don't Love Me, Don't Tell Me by quickwitlips Summary: uni!au & Hate to Love!au; Even's two sided personality is what drives Isak's hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn't believe that Even has any good intentions.

You're a different kind of new by LostInAdmiration ★ ✓ Summary: "But that still didn’t explain why Even was currently standing in a crowded house with the boy of his dreams pressed up against his side and a girl stood in front of them, looking bewildered as Isak told the girl excitedly how he and Even had met." (Even has had a hopeless crush on Isak for months now, but has never been brave enough to talk to him. Luckily, Isak decides to make the first move by rescuing Even from unwanted attention at a party.)

Not A Chance by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even don't know much about each other - but while in the cafeteria, they can't keep their eyes off each other and eventually they can't keep their hands off, either.

relax, i've got you by thekalk ★ Summary: childhood friends!au; "Isak’s too proud to admit it out loud but his ankle is actually in pain ‒ it's nothing too bad but it definitely is hurting. Fortunately, Even plays along and pretends that he didn’t see Isak’s pained expression for Isak’s ‒ or more likely his pride’s ‒ sake and instead he leans down and presses a light kiss on the exposed skin on his ankle. Isak freezes at the touch of Even’s lips on his skin. This is definitely something new in their friendship." Or: a childhood best friends AU where Isak is oblivious and Even has a catchphrase.

helium hearts (we're on fire) by itjustkindahappened Summary: 10 Things I Hate About You!AU. Eva enrolls at Hartvig Nissens VGS in Oslo and falls headfirst for the popular and pretty Vilde Lien. Vilde, however, is not allowed to date until Isak—her sarcastic, misantropic introvert of a step brother—does. Together with her new group of friends, Eva comes up with a plan to set Isak up with the school's rumor-ridden bad boy Even Bech Næsheim so she can take her crush out. Featuring stargazing, parties, and endless pining.

Kiss Me Through the Phone by babenaesheim Summary: wrong number!au; He's been having a rough day, okay? His teacher yelled at him for 20 minutes straight in front of the entire class, his friends cancelled yet again, he got another detention, and he's so fucking horny. He hasn't gotten laid in a good few weeks and that's considered a dry spell for Isak.So yeah, it may be pathetic of him, but when he pulled up the guy he hooked up withs number from a month ago, he has no shame sending him a little text after ghosting him. Attached was quite a raunchy photo, you could say. * Wrong number AU where Isak is bored and hits up an old hook up. Turns out it's not who he was thinking.

Lights, Camera, Action by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: Isak is a porn star. Even is the sexually frustrated director that has to film him.

Snapback Glam by AltEr1212 Summary: Eskild is a postgraduate media and communications student at UIO. Even is a third year media and communications student at UIO. Even is friends with Eskild and has a class with him. Isak is Eskild's flat mate and first year bio chem major at UIO. Eskild convinces Isak to be his makeup model for his new beauty guru youtube channel. This leads Isak on a journey of being his true self and discovering his great love, Even.

Therefore I Am by smokeshop ★ Summary: uni!au; The one thing Isak wants is to move on from his high school mistakes. Even spends his time pining after a boy who will never like him back. The last thing either of them expect is to wind up in bed together, but that's exactly what happens.

To Share in Castle Walls by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug Summary: royalty!au; Isak is still the heir to the throne of one of the most powerful nations in the world, only now it looks like he might actually live to see his reign. It’s still overwhelming, but now his boyfriend (Even, the one that makes him smile) helps keep him afloat. The problem(s)? Isak is more of a mess than he thought. And so is his country. * Sequel to Headed Straight for the Castle.

Rentboy by carmenG Summary: Isak met Even through rentboy.com. He quickly learned that Even wasn't really a rentboy. Little did he know that his perfect boyfriend is also the future owner of Nasheim Corp., which is about to buy the Valtersens, his family business. A story about love and hate, misunderstandings and communications.

You Were My Sweetest Downfall by givemesumaurgravy Summary: Every morning, Isak reads through the twenty or so pages of medical reports and articles about him and the ‘accident’, and then he’ll get to that final page that reads: “Don’t forget him, please, please don’t forget him.” And below these words scribbled hastily in his own writing, is a picture of a young, lanky, blonde boy with piercing eyes and dimples smiling at him like he’s the best thing in the world. Under the picture are seven words that never cease to break Isak’s heart every morning all over again. “This is Even, and you love him.”

is it gravity, or are we falling in love? by mellux Summary: coffee shop!au & co-workers!au; Isak works at a coffee shop. There's two things he loves about the morning shift: 1, how beautiful the city is when it's sleeping and 2, avoiding the hot guy who he happens to have a crush on. Until one faithful day, he has no choice but to work with his crush.

Strangers by mehsarah Summary: Even creates a temporary home in a motel room for a stranger. Isak is lost and broken and doesn't know what to think of the stranger who is his new roommate.

lost lullabies by ourlovelybones Summary: Isak meets Even in the laundry room of his best friend’s apartment, yelling at the dryer with barely a kroner to his name, at 2 in the morning. He finally returns back to his apartment, it’s 11:59 and he’s in love. Or the how-to guide for "how to stop my heart from breaking over someone who was never mine".

Baby Got Back(Stroke) by koolranchkidz Summary: swimming!au; AU Where Even's the top swimmer on his last season, and Isak's the dark horse who's just been bumped up an age group and is ready to give Even a run for his money.

Blood vs. Water by bri_ness Summary: Survivor!au; In which Snakesak plays Survivor.

Wish You Were Mine by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: “You’re after my heart, aren’t you?” said Even, leaning against the bar counter. “I thought we had already established that,” Isak smiled. Or Even is Isak's favorite bartender and there's some mutual pining involved.

Crystal Dust by Liolny Summary: soulmates!au & uni!au; “Right. Some advice for the future -” His eyes were glinting with something that could almost be described as playfulness but nonetheless screamed mystery. “Since I’m assuming you’re not some kind of MARVEL character” he paused “- looking through my head to see that clock,” he continued, pointing a thump over his shoulder, “is probably not gonna happen. I’m also sure your MacBook is more than capable of informing you about the time.” Isak was startled to say the least. He also just so happened to be the last person to be mocked by anybody, no less some arrogant prick, who thought he could just be smug in Isak’s face without consequences. Or: Even Bech Næsheim is a mystery and apparently there is no way in hell that he could be Isak's soulmate.

Strip My Fears Away by wtfidekgtfo Summary: Even has finally found a job after desperate searches. He has accepted the offer to be a bartender at a strip club. He's only new there, but apparently he isn't the only one...

i fall to pieces when im with you by Valariia Summary: In which Mikael insists on getting a third roommate, Even has a crush, and Isak is a beautiful nerd.

your hand in mine by ourheartsintertwined Summary: Isak's nothing but a rich kid with one too many maids, a bitchy attitude, and a spoiled way of living. Even is a drug dealer who's been raised in the hood his whole life, has one too many tattoos and owns a motorcycle. One day, they cross paths. And the rest, well, that's something.

Let‘s Pretend by wematch Summary: fake dating!au; Isak has been trying to get rid of Emma for weeks, luckily for him Even has a plan.

Heaven In Hiding by intothewind ★ Summary: Isak is the preacher's son and Even comes to town looking like every one of the seven sins. Or: the small town, football, preacher's son au.

Honest, Can You See My Soul? by poetichomo Summary: “Yousef has a friend who’s a cuddler.” And if Isak was confused before, he’s beyond confused now. “What does that even mean?” “He’s a professional cuddler. It helps him make a little money on top of his coffee shop job. I could give him your number?” Yousef looks so sincere, but the sleep deprivation combined with the ridiculous proposal have Isak speechless. “He’s serious, Isak. And Even’s nice, you’d probably like him.” Isak thinks he sees a small smirk on her face, but isn’t sure. “If this is some elaborate plan to fuck with me while I’m emotionally compromised, just know that I don’t appreciate it.” Sana laughs. “Nei, Isabel. We’re not messing with you. Just wait, this is going to be better than anything Jonas and Eva could have come up with, I promise.” “Fine, sure. I’ll try it.” * OR a Professional Cuddler AU.

Thin Walls by night_in_hell ★ Summary: neighbors!au; 'It wasn't as though Even was really accustomed to the telltale signs of crying, but- yeah he was accustomed to the telltale signs of crying. He played with the idea that it was just a movie playing too loudly next door, or perhaps he yearned for it to be, hoped it wouldn't be someone suffering in the dead of night, but the scene would've been so long, and there was no actor that talented, no one that could wholly fake those sobs.' Or Even and Isak are neighbors and some thin walls bring the two together in ways neither really could've expected.

Boy with a Basket of Fruit by Fxckxxp ★ ✓ Summary: Isak is a third-year architecture student studying abroad in Rome, Italy when he meets Even—a triple major and a triple threat. He’s handsome. He’s smart. And he’s charming as hell with the right amount of weird mixed in. Isak’s intrigued, but he doesn’t want to like him—he actually came to Rome to quite literally run away from his relationship problems back home. But the heart wants what the heart wants, even if Isak attempts to ignore it. He tries to listen to the universe. It’s throwing all the signs to just stay away right in his face, but for some reason, it’s also throwing him right into Even’s arms at every turn. So he tortures himself. He doesn’t make a move. They can be just friends, after all. Until they can��t.

I'll Wait For You by photographer_of_thoughts ✓ Summary: "I'll wait until you're ready," Even said, but Isak didn't know if he would ever be ready. The AU in which Isak and Even didn't get a chance to save each other at Nissen. But time is a funny thing.

If only. by GH1999 Summary: co-workers!au; Isak fucked up. Totally, completely, royally screwed up. His application for an internship should have been sent two days ago. The university of Oslo had sent him an email, asking whether he had already applied, and if not, that he could not continue at UiO. Or: Isak starts teaching at the Hartvig Nissen School and finds that he has a very handsome co-worker.

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: childhood friends!au; Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless.

Solo by iceandfire Summary: uni!au & secret admirer!au; Isak and Even meet in slightly different circumstances, but a lot of things stay exactly the same.

Don't Hold Your Breath by bechvaltersen Summary: Isak hates how he feels about Even, knows it could possibly ruin his friendship forever if he was to ever find out. But he doesn't ever wonder, what if Even feels the same?

the price of starting over by smalltownmotel Summary: neighbors!au & co-workers!au; Even lives above Isak. Isak hates loud noises. Even loves throwing loud parties.

It's getting hot in here by suckmyboardbxtch ✓ Summary: AU in which Isak is drooling over a hot Even, who is working out at the gym with the Balloon-Squad.

snapshots of a scattered heart by chevythunder Summary: roommates!au; Isak knows he's being thought of as nothing other than roommate, friend and listener. He's fine with it. He is.

We Found the Stars by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: Each year, Isak's father, a world renowned screenwriter, invites one promising young filmmaker to spend the summer in Italy with him and his family. It had never been anything more than a nuisance to Isak—until the arrival of Even Bech Næsheim. Suddenly, Isak finds himself drawn into a whirlwind summer romance that will change his life forever. Or a modern Call Me by Your Name AU.

The boy next door by Zabn Summary: neighors!au; Isak looks at Jonas, hoping the blush has already disappeared from his cheeks, he nervously scratches his neck. Fuck, did Jonas notice that he was staring at his new neighbor? “Are you daydreaming or what? I asked if there's someone new moving in.” Jonas laughs a little and nods towards the neighbor house.

+ All the fics featured in our Skam Fic Rec Week post under my name!

–A

#even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfic #skam #skam fanfiction #skam fanfic #evak fanfiction recs #masterposts

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sirius-archive · 7 years ago

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what are your otps and notps for harry potter fandom?

OTP’s:

1. Jily

2. James Potter x Lily Evans

3. Lily Evans x James Potter

4. James & Lily

5. Lily & James

….I think you get the idea, nonnie. In my faq, I explain that Jily is the only ship I actually ship in Harry Potter, idk why i just ??? I like Deamus and Flintwood and I also like Linny and Pavender but,,,,that’s it really? Romione is eh like they’re cute but that’s it. And Harmony i can see and understand but it’s not a ship i can just leap onto. Hinny…I’m not okay with. Like it’s not a NOTP but…I wish JK had given Ginny more of a role in Harry’s life like I wish her character was more…idk…present in the books before HBP (with the exception of COS which no one likes anyway). I just feel like they’re not well suited (this could be biased as I still cling onto the schoolgirl crush I harbored for Harry my entire childhood, lol)

I wouldn’t sign my soul over for these ships tho like I would for Jily…..ah just thinking of them makes my heart flutter. Other ships: Harry x happiness, Regulus x happiness, remus x happiness, sirius x happiness, cedric x happiness, dobby x happiness, fred weasly x happiness (actually, I can really get behind Fred x Hermione, too!), tonks x happiness, colin x happiness, everyone else who died during BOH x happiness.

okay, this is the part that has fangirls screeching.

NOTP’s:

1. DRARRY

2. Wolfstar

3. Snily *shudders*

4. I can’t think of anything else?

Okay, okay, I’ll explain my thoughts.

I don’t like Drarry because I still have a grudge on Draco for all the shit he put the trio through (especially Harry) so I don’t see why Harry would turn to his childhood bully for a romantic relationship? like if I’m going to ship Harry with anyone, it’s either Hermione, Luna or Cedric. Preferably Cedric because soft boys deserve one another.

Now, I can already hear you aggressively tapping away at your keypad, readying your canons of destruction. ‘James was a bully and your OTP was Jily! It’s the same as Drarry!’

No, No it’s not. James changed. He became a better person. He stopped bullying others and was so good, Dumbledore elected him as Head Boy despite the fact he wasn’t a prefect. That is a pretty big transformation. It was only then that Lily started to reciprocate feelings for him – when she saw that he was making an effort.

Draco…didn’t change. Not really. He was still a bitch to Harry, even after Harry saved his life. Now, Draco is a complicated character, and I have the feeling that he has no idea how to express himself or his emotions so I get that he might be a bit prickly. But he really has no redemption arch, unless you accept Cursed Child as canon, which I blatantly ignore.

Now, I’m sorry to all the Draco fans who follow me. As a writer, I understand that every character has flaws and they have characteristics that redeem those flaws. For Draco, I’d say that his courage to not dob Harry in during DH was def a positive development. And his story arc during HBP does make me sympathize with him a little more. He reminds me of Regulus, in a way. They both got too deep in with the sharks, and before they knew it, they were drowning. But…I don’t think Draco is misunderstood. He made clear choices and he was aware of the consequences. Regulus saw what he was getting into and stopped Voldy. Draco? he…didn’t do anything? not really?

Okay, Wolfstar. Now it’s not explicitly a NOTP, I just…it doesn’t make sense. Heres why.

In POA, Remus and Sirius apologize to each other for suspecting the other of being the spy working for Voldemort. Now….why would lovers suspect each other? Lovers trust one another, that’s what makes them lovers. They’d just know that person wouldn’t be capable of such a thing. It sounds stupid but that’s what you’re like when you’re in love. You don’t think that person will betray you or others in such a way.

Also, if Sirius was so in love with Remus, why would he expose his secret to Snape in the hopes of using Remus as a weapon to bully Snape with? That’s just wrong. Don’t get me wrong, y’all know how much I love my boy Sirius but the man had serious flaws (no pun intended), and using Remus that way shows that he didn’t fully appreciate the gravity of Remus’ condition and - furthermore- disrespected it all together. That was a dick move and not something Sirius would do to his lover.

It’s clear that Sirius was devoted purely to James. Sirius would have died for him, afterall. I don’t think he was as close to Remus than he was to James. Sure, I think they were friends, close friends actually, but James and Sirius were like brothers. ‘never saw one without the other.’ Inseparable. And they remained that way until James’ death, and even then, Sirius was still loyal to James. I honestly cant’ see Sirius being closer to anyone but James.

Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘It’s completely fine to have friends and still be in love.’ Well…duh. That’s obvious, isn’t it. But. Lets be real: once your friend gets a significant other, their devotion shifts primarily to that lover. Now that’s not to say that they don’t stay friends – James was still friends with Sirius when he started dating Lily. But Lily was now apart of his life in a way that Sirius couldn’t be. I really don’t believe Sirius ever loved anyone other than James, and if I’m going to ship him with someone other than myself (I’m selfish, I know) or with happiness, I’d ship Sirius with James. Those two…yes. Def. I could get behind that. But not with Remus…no.

Also, JK Rowling confirmed that Sirius didn’t have a love interest Pre-Azkaban because “he was too busy being a badass.” That makes more sense. And I know we totally disregard what JK has to say but lets face it, she knows him better than anyone, doesn’t she?

Okay, finally, Snily.

I don’t think I have to explain this very much.

Lily was far too good for Snape and that’s it. Now, I love Snape pining over Lily because, honestly, I’m inlove with that angel of pure softness too. But I don’t think they were ever romantically involved, it’s clear that Lily only saw him as a friend and nothing more.

Now, some other ships that I dont like: Remadora (idk i’m just iffy, maybe its the age gap?), Pansy parkinson x anyone (I would love to just smash canon Pansy in the face with a brick because that bitch is nasty and I hate her with a passion) Ginny x Tom Riddle (???????? abuser and victim ???? gtf away from me) Dramione (again with the bully x victim thing) I can’t think of anything else tbh? oh! Regulus x Petunia. Actually, anyone other than Vernon x Petunia. I just….I’m holding a grudge against her, too. I really love my girl Lily and the way petunia made lily feel, especially making Lily feel that it was her fault, really grates my cheese.

Wow, that was….really deep.

Now, i’d like to finish up by saying: Everyone has a right to ship what they want. So I’m not sorry that i ship/don’t ship these characters together. And I don’t mind if you unfollow me because of it, too. It’s your choice, it’s your opinion and you’re entitled to that. that’s fine. You do you, my dude. But don’t you dare bombard your way into my inbox and contaminate it with salt. Bitch, grow up and drink a tall glass of happy juice. If you’re looking for drama, go somewhere else and satisfy your drama fetish.

that’s all i have to say about that. lol, that sounds harsh but idgaf. Friendly, curious questions are fine but not bitchiness. take a dump somewhere else.

To sum this up: I don’t ship ship anything but Jily. Sure, there are ships that I find cute but nothing that can match Jily.

Okay, I’m out.

#this is a long ass post #text #jily #anti-snape #anti-wolfstar #anti-snily #anti-drarry

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kittenshift-17 · 8 years ago

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Drowning

*sigh*

I KNEW someone would say something when I posted a new fic. Readers can't resist dumping on an author and making them feel like dirt.

I'm frankly offended at the notion that I "don't update the stories I already have out there often enough." I update across more stories with more frequency than almost every other author out there. The first chapter of Tethered was my 113th update since my birthday in January. I've updated, roughly, 120 times this year to date. That's an average of 13.5 times a month. Most authors barely manage to update once or twice a month. I update plenty. They fact that I have several WIPs and try to juggle them all at once means that some do have long stints between updates, but they nonetheless DO all get updated. Out of the 48 fics I've currently shared, only 3 of those currently marked as WIPs haven't been updated this year.

As for losing inspriation, the answer is yes. I tend to find an idea, run with an idea, write it out to a certain point, and then get distracted. Sometimes it's a lack of interest in the direction the plot takes. Sometimes it's an abundance of pressure from readers nagging me for more when I get to the point where everything I'd prewritten is gone and I'm updating chapter by chapter and I get people PMing me asking if I've "abandoned the story", and "why I'm so shit" and "why am I not updating every single second" because instant gratification is something readers have come to expect despite the fact that writing out the chapters takes time. Sometimes it's a lack of focus or the time to actually write about the epic length novels all of them will likely, eventually be.

If I could write them all in 50k words like I did for "Bewitch, Ensnare" I'd be thrilled. But I can't, and I don't, and it's either share what I have and prove that just because I haven't updated a favourite of any given reader in a while, doesn't mean I've abandoned fanfic or given up on writing or am holding chapters hostage hoping for more reviews. Sometimes I just can't be bloody bothered to work on the story that particular day or I get to a bit that's hard to write because the scene makes me uncomfortable or the plot turns in a direction I don't like and so I work on something else for a while.

As a reader, I empathize with my own fans knowing that waiting for more on something I really like is frustrating. But as a writer I know that 5000 words don't just fall out of my fingers every single second and real life sometimes means having to go to work, and having to make money and buy food and see friends and suffer through family dinners. And since they haven't yet shared the technology with the populous that let's people just think a story into existence rather than needing to bother with all this infernal typing, I have to find the time and the energy to work on something and when I've got people breathing down my neck screaming for more it doesn't encourage me. It upsets me and I start to sweat and I know that if it's not at least 5k long every bloody chapter and nothing of consequence happens I'll be accused of writing filler chapters and I'll be told I wasted a chapter and told how disappointed everyone is because it's not fucking good enough and then I get upset and to feel better I work on something else. Something I haven't shared and something no one is going to make me feel like shit over.

And then I post that thing when it's going really well because, hey, it worked with Bewitch, Ensnare and maybe it'll happen again, and it's a never ending cycle and in short, I don't like being reminded by readers that "Hey, you're great but fuck you for not finishing this thing I love. Let me make sure you know what a shit-cunt you are by emailing you and reminding you that all that effort you've already put in means fuck all because I want MORE! NOW! What's taking so long? Gods, you're such a loser and a flake and I'm not reading you anymore until you finish things because I hate the wait and don't like being let down by such a failure. Fuck you."

But readers don't see it that way. They just see it as "politely" inquiring as though an author hasn't been asked the same questions a hundred times already and think, "Well, someone SHOULD say something. It'll make her write faster." But it doesn't. It makes me mad and it makes me cry and it makes me want to say fuck all y'all and delete everything I've ever written before hiding in my bedroom and watching too much Outlander to be healthy and writing fanfics I'll never share because if I pop my head up ever again SOMEONE will be there with a whack-bat to remind me that I never finished that thing they liked.

In short, yes. I lose inspiration. I get swamped by nerves and bad feelings over this thing that's supposed to be fun for me and the solution, one might think, would be to not publish things until their finished, but I tried that too and I quit writing fanfiction for an entire year, so it doesn't work and I won't be doing it. And so I update whatever strikes my fancy enough to get some chapters written and I put up with the nagging and the abuse and the "But... you're shit for not posting as soon as I'm ready to read more" and I bitch to my author friends about how being nagged is a nightmare and I know that if I mention this message to them they'll empathize with me and talk about how readers are ungrateful and at least one will say "Yeah, but you KNEW that would happen if you posted a new fic." And I did know. As soon as I saw that I had a PM sitting in my inbox, I KNEW it would be in complaint over starting something new with so much old still incomplete.

And all I can do is shrug and say "Thanks for thinking my writing's spectacular." And I'll quietly go back to my keyboard for my fics and I'll stare at the screen awhile and mutter to myself about showing everyone about how I "Don't update enough" even though I'm already killing myself and using every spare minute to post as much as I do. Literally. I write my fics on my lunch break and my toilet breaks at work. I write them on the bus. I write them in the car when someone else is driving me to some event I don't want to attend all to stave off messages like this one, and then the messages come, just the same. And so I'll probably start another new fic I haven't shared yet, because Lord knows the pressure for the shared ones is like never-ending heartburn, and the cycle will start over and next week I'll have someone else complaining that I don't update often enough and that I should finish what I start.

And to you, as you read this, this will seem like an overreaction and "Woah, she's bitching me out" but the fact is that no one gets how goddamn hard it is to meet the demand of readers when they're so frequently ungrateful. And I know that there are those among my fans that I adore who read and review everything I write and who assure me that they'll wait because they love me and they GET IT, but there are so many who don't that I'm drowning, and I'm not alone. All us authors are here, drowning, and we can't save each other and we can't save ourselves unless we pull ourselves from these Grindylow infested waters and never stray from the shore again, but we're brave and we keep trying to tread water and the waves keep coming and gods, we need to catch a breath, but even that will feel like "have you abandoned this?" and I'm sorry, but a "Yay for the new fic" wouldn't have killed you, but this "I want more of that other thing you didn't finish yet" just might kill me.

xx-Kitten

#sorry not sorry

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Buster & Rio

Buster: I need a fucking drink Buster: Please tell me you aren't working Rio: Be helpful if I was Rio: Barmaid, remember Buster: There's only so many times I can buy you a drink from that side though Buster: I've had a shit day, yeah, but it ain't gonna be better if I turn into that cunt drinking alone, like Rio: Never-ending supply of sad company in this gaff, babe Rio: What's up? Buster: You don't wanna hear about it Buster: I can't say her name to you, can I Rio: I mean, yeah, gonna need another barmaid if you want sympathy for your domestic Rio: Know too much to be impartial Buster: It's not sympathy I want Rio: Use it as euphemistically as you like Buster: I don't mean that either Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I just wanna sort this out Rio: Then hadn't you better talk to her? Buster: What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Buster: Some twat was flirting with her in Coppers and I don't have a leg to stand on Buster: Same goes for her wanting to keep things going casual, with my rep what am I meant to say? Buster: No thanks you're alright Rio: Like I said Rio: Got the wrong girl Rio: You expect me to care? Buster: Are you trying to tell me you don't? Buster: Come on Buster: Just tell me what to do Rio: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying Rio: Sort yourself out, McKenna Rio: you're turning into a real sad act Buster: Fuck off Rio: Honestly Rio: Miss me with your boring marital woes Rio: Poor bitch is 18 and you're a cunt Rio: why would she want to be tied to you Buster: She doesn't that's what I'm saying Buster: But she won't go away either Rio: Whatever Rio: Ghost her, continue to cheat on her, what's it matter? Rio: Never struggled before Buster: Fuck me you're annoying Rio: You're stupid Rio: and full of yourself Rio: more fool her too if she wants to be treated like this much of a mug Buster: Fuck you Buster: I don't know why I bother with you Rio: Sure you don't Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: Whatever you want it to Buster: Bullshit Buster: Say what you wanna say and stop being such a fucking coward Rio: Me? Please Rio: You're the one that can't even dump a bitch Buster: Shut up Rio: It's pathetic Rio: You're pathetic, Buster Buster: 'Cause you're not Rio: Least I'm not dragging down whoever I can with me Buster: Just me, yeah? Rio: Piss off Rio: it's your sin as much as mine Rio: ain't my fault if you can't commit to stopping Buster: It's your fault that you can't control yourself Buster: I only have to look at you and you're on top of me Rio: Ha pot kettle first off Rio: and not like you can't say no Rio: take some responsibility for yourself and get over this pity party Rio: because I don't care Rio: you think Erin will? Good luck Buster: I told you I liked her and I wanted to stop Buster: But you can't stay away from me, can you Rio: Well, that's the downside to fucking your family Rio: better warn the others, oh wait Rio: they're not that fucked up Buster: You reckon? Buster: I've got news for you, babe, the whole lot of you are Rio: Yeah, you and Nancy are SO well adjusted Rio: Like before, you ain't got a leg to stand on so I'd quit whilst you have the smallest shred of dignity left Buster: I ain't trying to say I am Buster: You're the one chatting shit about sin and virtue like it ain't just more bullshit excuses Rio: You're sure trying to put all the blame on me Buster: I'm not gonna make it easy for you, sorry Rio: Just for yourself Rio: Don't worry, no one expects any more from you Buster: Good Rio: That it then? Buster: Depends if you've got any more bullshit you wanna pass off as wisdom, like Rio: I've got nothing to say to you Buster: Sure? Say it while you can, babe, 'cause it won't even work on Indie much longer Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'm not the one that's all alone Buster: I'm not the one who can't be Rio: Sure about that? Rio: Nah, one pitiful 'real' relationship (in which you can't even keep it in your pants) after a different girl every night and you've got it all worked out Rio: Sort your own shit before coming for mine Buster: Why wouldn't I be better off with everyone dragging me down? Buster: Sort yourself out before nobody needs you anymore Buster: 'cause fuck knows what you're gonna do then Rio: Yeah, EVERYONE ELSE is the problem Rio: not you Rio: Genius! Buster: In this family, yeah Rio: Fuck off back to London then Buster: And do what, work in bar or take my clothes off for money? Rio: Don't think you've got the personality for it, babe Rio: but feel free to try Buster: Leave that to you, trying hard enough for all of us, like Rio: You're not 12 Rio: so uncool to care Rio: done you so well Buster: Neither are you Buster: Just fucking grief for her Rio: Fuck off Rio: Then what? Get a pointless Uni degree and a vanilla man like you and my life will be so sorted Buster: Pointless for you Buster: Not my fault if you ain't smart enough to keep up, babe Rio: Gutted, like Rio: Keep pretending you've got it all figured out Rio: sure that'll keep you warm when you're miserable with your shit job and shit bird Buster: I haven't figured out anything Buster: Feel free to keep judging Rio: Yeah, no shit Rio: Your life's a fucking trainwreck and you've got the audacity to lecture me Buster: 'Cause you're pretending yours ain't Buster: Be real for a fucking second, it won't kill you Rio: With you? Rio: Why bother, Buster Rio: what's it achieved Buster: Fuck off then Buster: Don't bother chatting to me at all Rio: I won't Rio: You started this Buster: And you just had to finish it, yeah? Buster: Well done Rio: Why should you get to make all the calls Rio: I've got some fucking say whether you care to listen or not Buster: All I do is listen Buster: Try hearing yourself Rio: What use is it? Rio: All just talk, yeah Buster: What else is there? You think I wanna see you? Buster: I fucking hate you Rio: No you don't Rio: might wish you did but that feeling's fucking mutual Buster: Now who ain't listening Buster: I know you heard me Rio: You say a lot of things Buster: And I mean them Buster: Stay away from me, Rio Rio: Now who's being a coward Buster: Call it what you like Rio: Call it how I see it Rio: because you started this wanting to see me Rio: you're weak and you're a coward Buster: Shut up Buster: I can change my mind, you're not that special, babe Rio: Yeah, watch you change it back tomorrow Rio: Been here before Buster: If you really could see everything you reckon you can you'd know that I wanted to see you 'cause I was mad at Erin Buster: It's not even about you Rio: Whatever Rio: She's over you too Buster: Maybe Rio: Clearly Rio: Always playing for time, babe Rio: Won't you feel smug when Chloe is the only one who gives a damn Buster: Says you who's stringing this out 'cause you can't bear the thought of not having me in your inbox Rio: Good one Rio: Not as if you ever left Rio: Don't take up smack, like Buster: You either Buster: If I'm weak what the fuck are you? Rio: I'm not out here pretending otherwise Buster: Be a first Buster: You pretend about everything else Rio: Takes one to know one Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grow up, Cavante Rio: You first Buster: Watch me Buster: Christ, I liked you better when you were a kid, least you were real Rio: Not helping yourself with the sick comments there Rio: but go off Buster: Keep hiding behind all that bullshit, babe Buster: Getting you so far Rio: Not the one who can't stand where they're from Buster: Where am I from? Take your pick Rio: God, we're really going x factor sob story with it now? Rio: Never had a Home, don't know who I am Buster: Fuck you Buster: I've got my pick of houses too like Rio: Good for you, babe Buster: You're the one who don't know where to put me, babe Buster: Is it don't come in here with that accent and that face or is it remember where you're from? Rio: I'm tired of trying when you ain't Buster: How am I not? Rio: What's it matter now Buster: Why say it then? Buster: It obviously still matters to you Rio: Not to you Buster: What would you know? Rio: Give me a sec and I'll pick out my faves Buster: You gonna take everything as Gospel or stick to dismissing it all 'cause I 'say a lot of things' Buster: You don't get to have it both ways Rio: Just you, is it? Buster: Whatever you say Rio: Pussy Buster: Fuck you Buster: I came here 'cause I wanted to tell her about us Buster: Without a repeat of what happened with your mate connecting the dots Rio: Why didn't you just say that Buster: 'Cause you never shut up long enough to let me Rio: Shut up Rio: you managed to say plenty else just fine Buster: You started it Rio: I swear to God Rio: not in the mood boy Buster: Seriously Buster: One mention of her and you're ready to attack everything about me Rio: You can't say you expected anything else Buster: Yeah, well, if you think so little of me, why should I bother Rio: So what, I'm not full of shit now? Rio: 'cos if that's what you're saying, have it in writing Rio: consolation but a prize nonetheless Buster: You're not wrong Rio: You don't reckon you owe me specifics on that? Buster: You're really gonna make me spell it all out? Rio: If you're comfortable leaving so much room for misinterpretation that's fine Buster: Don't act like you don't know exactly what I'm saying Rio: Who knows? Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Buster: I've smashed up enough shit around me for one convo Rio: Alright, alright Rio: Can't blame me for trying Rio: well, probably could but Buster: I don't Rio: Do Rio: but it's 50/50, yeah? Rio: It's just a fucking mess Buster: Not all of it Rio: No Rio: Sometimes that's all that doesn't seem a total mess but Rio: can't be right, can it Buster: It feels like it is Rio: I know Buster: You've never felt wrong to me Buster: I'm sorry for all that shit I just said Rio: Me too Rio: I can't even contemplate thinking of all the nasty and plain wrong shit I said, never mind reading it back, fuck Rio: but I am Buster: Don't Buster: I can't go back to lying to you and pretending like I don't want you Buster: All of that went on for so long Buster: I shouldn't have been trying to start again now Rio: I can't blame you Rio: not as if I haven't Rio: and it is the technically 'right' thing to do but Rio: be lying if I said I wasn't fucking miserable Rio: or that the thought of having to pretend, forever or near enough, whatever, didn't make me wanna die Buster: Don't say that Rio: Sorry Rio: not trying to put shit on you Rio: just the truth Buster: I know but I can't do this without you Rio: Not going anywhere Rio: people still need me for now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I need you so much Buster: I'm so fucking tired, babe Rio: I know baby Rio: Where are you? Buster: Home Buster: In the wreckage Rio: Let me come help Buster: You don't have to Buster: Not actually your fault Rio: Let's be real Rio: 50/50, easy on that one Rio: Swear, no funny business Rio: Won't even look at you Buster: What if I want you to Rio: As long as you make that really clear, reckon we're out of that grey area Rio: Are you hurt or just the house Buster: Could literally crawl on broken glass for you right now if that's clear and dramatic enough, like Buster: But you know me, never hurt Rio: Don't Rio: On both counts Rio: I'm sorry Buster: I'm sorry Buster: Come away with me instead Buster: We can just leave and leave it all behind us Rio: Can we? Buster: I don't care Buster: All that matters is how many days you can give me Rio: I don't know, doesn't really matter, shit job anyway Rio: but one I work all the fucking time so, got plenty time off Buster: I'll film you, you can make more money that you would've Rio: That's alright, don't have to Rio: you can keep up with your uni work, yeah, but what are you going to tell her? Rio: casual or not, like Buster: Just let me, yeah? Buster: I'll tell her the truth Buster: I have to get away and she's not invited Buster: She's got her own uni work to worry about Rio: Nah Rio: True, alright Rio: let's go Buster: Pack for the sun Rio: Serious? Buster: I said I'm taking you away Buster: Not the next county over Rio: Buster Rio: you're sure you're sure? Buster: Babe Buster: Of course I am Rio: Okay Rio: not to be childish but no takebacks Rio: can't leave me stranded, like Buster: I'm booking our return flight now too Buster: Together Rio: I can't wait to be just us Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: The flight's not until tonight but it'll be worth waiting for Rio: Don't suppose you're gonna let me give you half? Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not telling you where we're going yet either Rio: Boo! Buster: You'll like it Buster: I promise Rio: I'll trust you Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: just this once Buster: You can make it a habit, like Buster: If you want Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: If I don't end up at Butlins, I'll think about it Buster: Give me some credit Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't knock Skeggy 'til you've tried it, babe Buster: If that's your way of saying you're gonna make me try it Buster: Don't Rio: Rude, let me unbook that... Rio: My bank balance will stretch a little further with an IOU hol, thanks you Buster: I love it when you owe me Rio: 😒 Buster: Why pout when you can pack Buster: 😂 Rio: Pack light so you have an excuse to shop whilst you're there Rio: plus someone has to sort your gaff or your parents are gonna think someone's kidnapped you Buster: Like I need an excuse to shop Buster: Pack light so there's less to take off Buster: How much do you reckon I'm worth to them in ransom demands? Rio: I mean, added bonus Rio: I'd say leave a note and see but Rio: might just be letting yourself in for a harsh wake up call there Buster: Let's be real we'd be back before they saw it Buster: I can't kidnap you for that long Rio: Sadly Rio: My 'rents just thinking I've found myself wherever the fuck we're going Rio: like Namaste, bitch Buster: Better than what they could be thinking Buster: How many rich white boys you got in your back pocket, like Buster: Make for an interesting dinner table convo Rio: Usually their fathers but Rio: don't need to cast those kinda aspersions on yours Rio: really get the crockery flying, like Buster: Don't tell me Buster: I don't wanna know Rio: 🤐 Rio: Jokes, babe Buster: I know Buster: But I hate thinking about it Rio: Sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not your fault Buster: It's them Buster: And me Rio: It's probably not as bad as you think, if that helps at all Buster: And I don't get to be jealous anyway, do I Rio: You can be Rio: but about as effective as mine Buster: If you wanna add hypocrite to the list of things I am, yeah Rio: Worse things to be Rio: Not done it properly for ages anyway Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I swear I ain't Buster: Not at you Rio: But I don't want you to be at all Rio: distraction time Buster: What do you want? Rio: I want you to be happy Buster: You make me feel so good, don't worry Rio: I'm going to make you feel like you've never felt, trust Rio: No one or nothing in the way Buster: Fuck Buster: I wish I'd booked an earlier flight now Rio: Patience Rio: can always kick it cliche and mile high Buster: Try and stop me Buster: I'll get us a blanket and fuck you right there, I don't care Rio: Boy Buster: I told you before, I can't help it Rio: I know Rio: but just know you're gonna be the death of me Rio: Fuck Buster: That's just the start of what I'm gonna do to you, babe Rio: I've missed you Rio: I know I saw you last night Buster: I know that don't matter Buster: 'Cause I feel it Rio: As long as you do too Rio: then that's alright Buster: I really fucking do Rio: Okay, Indie is sorted Rio: when can I come over Buster: Now Rio: Coming Buster: Good Buster: I need you here Rio: I need you Buster: I know Buster: But you can have me soon Rio: Not about to take no for an answer Buster: I'm not about to say no Rio: 💔 if you did Buster: I don't ever want to say no to you Rio: I have that affect Rio: who could say no to this face, right Buster: Christ knows I can't Rio: Don't worry, it's mutual Rio: So cute, like 😘 Buster: Don't start with that again, like Rio: You love it Rio: and that wittle face Rio: just the truth Buster: The truth is that I can't even be mad Rio: Yeah you know you cute boy Buster: I know you are Rio: Nah Rio: so 💪 me Buster: 😂 Buster: 'course you are babe Rio: 👊 gonna see Buster: You wanna play rough now, is it? Buster: Alright Rio: You needed so much convincing there, babe Buster: Can you blame me? Rio: No, you know how I like it Buster: I know how you love it Rio: Stop 😳 Buster: You get me so worked up, I'm only playing fair Rio: When we ever played fair? Buster: Trying to be so good for you now though Buster: 😇 Rio: Okay babe Rio: gonna have fun coming for your halo then Buster: You know it Rio: if i'm really nice can i have a clue where we going Buster: How nice are we talking about? Rio: Got a lot to make up for Rio: you tell me how nice i need to be Buster: I've gotta give you clues to that too? Buster: I reckon you know exactly what to do Rio: Alright Rio: Lemme unpack one of your surprises for now Buster: Fuck Buster: No way I'm arguing Rio: You ain't even seen it yet Buster: I don't need to Rio: Put it back then, shall I? Buster: You know that's not what I meant Rio: 😂 Buster: I want it everything you can give me Rio: You can have it all Rio: I've told you, it's yours Buster: Swear Rio: Cross my heart Buster: How far away are you? Rio: Not far Rio: if this thing's as hard to take off as it was to get on you're gonna be mad tho Buster: it's coming off even if I have to rip it Rio: you better not its expensive Buster: I'll replace it Rio: I got it like that, huh daddy? Buster: It's the least I can do Buster: You know I want you to have everything Rio: Such a gentleman yeah Buster: Last thing on my mind right now Rio: I'll keep that to myself Buster: Not for long, you'll be letting my neighbours in on all our secrets like Rio: If you really care, can think of a few ways you can shut me up Buster: Yeah? Buster: Tell me Rio: Well you can grab me by the throat or fuck it Rio: choice is yours, like Buster: Grabbing you anywhere just makes you louder but since the choice is mine and I don't give a fuck who hears us Rio: Glad I'm in the backseat not the driver's again Buster: And I'm glad my house is empty 'cause I'm gonna have to fuck you in every room Rio: 🤤 Rio: Gotta make tonigh come faster somehow Buster: Exactly Buster: As long as you don't Buster: I wanna take my time with you, babe Rio: Is that an order? Buster: Did it sound like one? Rio: Gonna have to be 'cos I can't make no promises Rio: Unless you let me have the first for free, you can watch Buster: Alright Buster: 'Cause I'm such a gent like Rio: Of course Rio: then I'll know you're definitely as needy as I am Buster: You don't already? Rio: Got to be sure Rio: How embarrassing to be the only desperate one, like Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: Your hero aren't I Buster: Are you sure yet? Rio: Sure I need this cabbie to step on it Rio: fucking hell, Buster Buster: You gotta stop saying my name when you aren't here Rio: Just making it up for all the times I couldn't say it Buster: Jesus, Rio Rio: Told you I missed you Buster: I already believed you, baby Rio: Maybe this time you won't forget Buster: I never did Rio: Don't leave me again okay? Buster: I won't Buster: I can't Rio: I swear I'll let you go one day Rio: just not yet Buster: Don't Rio: I know, let's not talk about it Buster: I'm telling you, don't let me go, okay? Rio: I can keep you? Buster: Nothing makes sense without you Buster: Just stay, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't want to go either Buster: Good Rio: Let me in Rio: Freezing Buster: One second

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lumiolivier · 8 years ago

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Chapter Nineteen: Who’s Misa Misa?

Word Count: 4002

Chapter No. 19/36

Notes: Everything’s pretty kosher. Although, there’s some cuteness in this chapter that got me all squeaky. So...

Chapter Eighteen: Duality of a Broken Heart

I brought Veronica back to my house and threw the first pizza in the oven. Not the first time and probably not the last time I’ll do that tonight. When she walked in, Veronica looked so defeated and immediately fell onto the couch. Then again, sleep probably didn’t come easy for her last night. As soon as I went back to the living room, Veronica was already asleep. This poor baby didn’t deserve this.

Although, I hadn’t planned on Veronica crashing here tonight. Her nap would give me a little bit of time to cover up the weird. I set a stopwatch on my phone. Maybe I can beat my half hour record. First the wall scrolls. Then, the figurines into the closet. Then, my manga on the top shelf amongst my cosplay props. I’m truly sorry, Sebastian, but you have to go in the closet, too. I’m sure if you look deep enough you can find Ciel, too.

All I needed to do now was set up some diversionary knickknacks. I usually leaned toward the lighter, pastel, sugary things for that. A cupcake candle, a cute little spacy fairy, a little fake cactus in a light terra cotta pot. There! All done! Twenty-three minutes. Huh. Not bad. A new record. Good for me!

I went back downstairs and took that pizza out of the oven. Veronica was still sleeping like a baby. Good. I threw a blanket over her and looked at my phone. A text from Julian had been burning a hole in my inbox since I pulled out of the high school parking lot.

How is she?

My heart melted when Julian cared. If I could clone him, I’d give Veronica one in a heartbeat. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Maybe not quite to Veronica’s high standards. I really don’t think she’d be able to handle the otaku life, but she’s put up with me all these years. She had no idea about my weird, otaku life, though. Maybe Julian’s not her perfect, but he’s perfect for me. And I loved him to death.

She’s asleep.

To be honest, she had me worried. Veronica never handled depression well and I just wanted to hug her. This little angel was crying in her sleep and it kept breaking my heart more and more. I wanted nothing more than to tell her everything was going to be alright. Because it would be. She’s young. She’s adorable. Sure, she’s a little shrill from time to time, but that was Mis...Veronica. She could have the entire world at her feet with a mere smile.

“A letter from the queen, my lord,” my phone barked at me.

Shit! I forgot to turn the ringer off! Veronica tossed around on the couch, but ultimately ended going back to sleep. Dodged a bullet there. I love you, Julian, but sometimes, your text pop up at the most inopportune times. I grabbed my phone off the end table and slid my finger across the lock screen…That just so happened to be a picture from Saturday night. And I kind of wanted to cry.

You need anything before I come over?

I thought it over for a minute or two. We were good on mostly everything. Veronica hasn’t tapped into the food surplus I had for her. She’s only slept. Wait a minute…Am I catching a delayed contact high from Kyle or did Julian say he was coming over?

No. We’re good. And I thought I said it was only going to be her and me.

And I waited again, keeping an eye on her. But once my phone buzzed in my lap again…

I know. Frilly jammies and pillow fights.

I loved him. I giggled a little, shaking my head at his stupidity.

Again. Not a porno, Julian. What am I going to do with you?

Bzzz…

What are you going to do with me? ;)

I loved this dork. I really did.

Not that. Not tonight.

“Is that pizza?” Veronica groaned into the arm of my couch.

“Morning, sweetie,” I chimed, feeling my phone buzz again, “Yeah. You want some?”

“Some?” she gave me a look.

“Yes,” I assured, “I made it all for you. It’s in the kitchen.”

“Bless you,” Veronica stumbled lethargically toward her goal while I took a quick glance at my phone.

I understand. You have to take care of her. Come stay with me tomorrow night?

Hmm…A slumber party at Julian’s?

Sounds good to me. Can’t wait. :)

Bzzz…

I love you. xo

This boy was too much for me to handle sometimes, but I wasn’t getting rid of him anytime soon.

I love you, too.

I sent him a GIF of Grell Sutcliff blowing Sebastian kisses. Figured it’d be appropriate. It’s true love when there’s an exchange of GIFs featuring the entirely one sided relationship between the genderfluid reaper obsessed with the sexy demon. Although, I feel like, in a way, all the Black Butler fangirls become Grell at one point or another. Maybe that was Yana Toboso’s way of bringing the fans into the story.

“I don’t get it, Mimi,” Veronica came back in with her entire pizza already half eaten, “If what happened isn’t my fault, why do I feel so guilty?”

“Because that’s how douchebags work,” I sat with her, leaving my phone on the end table, “They’ll make you feel like shit after they leave you. It’s the withdrawal from the oxytocin and the dopamine. It’s like taking a needle out of a junkie’s vein.”

“I miss my needle,” the tears started kicking up again.

“No,” I shut her down, pulling her toward me, “Don’t let him win, Veronica. Don’t let him win. Whatever you do, don’t lose.”

“But what do I do now?” Veronica wiped her eyes.

I drew a total blank. I had no idea what to tell her. But someone else did. It had helped tremendously when my ex dumped me. When I find myself in times of trouble, the words of Edward Elric came to me, “Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You’ve got two good legs, so get up and use them. You’re strong enough to make your own path.”

“Wow,” she blinked, “That was beautiful, Mimi.”

“What can I say?” I shrugged, “When I was going through this a couple years ago, that was exactly what was said to me to snap me out of the hell I was in. That whole, how am I going to live without him, feeling. I know what it’s like, Veronica, and look at me now. I got up. I started walking.”

I wasn’t going to say I stole it from Ed, but between crying in Sebastian’s two-dimensional shoulder and binge watching Fullmetal Alchemist again, it got me through. When Ed and Al were in Liore, hearing that line hit really close to home. I got up. I started walking. And eventually, the universe played out in my favor. I ended up with Julian. I ended up with the idiot alchemy freak that was lucky his head was attached to my mech otaku that liked to use her tools as weapons.

“So, what you’re saying,” Veronica interpreted, “I need to get me a rebound?”

“Not exactly,” I sighed out. She completely missed the mark, “I’m saying-”

“I do!” she squeaked, “I need to go out and find me another man! I just have to get back on the horse!”

If it was enough to get her this excited and it was going to keep me from watching Real Housewives of Orange County tonight, “Sure, Roni. Whatever you need to make you happy. I’m not saying you need another man to do that, but whatever you have to do to cope.”

“I got it!” Veronica jumped up from the couch and started sprinting upstairs, “We’re going out tonight!”

“Veronica!” I chased after her, “You have school in the morning! And I have to work at the ass crack of dawn!”

“It’s been a while since I flexed my fake ID,” she admitted, digging under my bathroom sink, “We should go to Kansas City tonight and do something fun!”

“Did you not hear me?” I repeated myself, “You have school in the morning. I have to go to work. We can’t go out tonight.”

“Yes, we can!” Veronica brushed me off, “I can pass off my being sad as being tired. It’ll work.”

“You need some sense talked into you, sister,” I shook my head, “But since you’re probably past all logic right now, we might as well.”

“So, we can go out tonight?” she beamed. I couldn’t take that away from her.

“Why not?” I shrugged, “This is the most animated I’ve see you all day. We can go out tonight.”

“Yay!”

“But you do understand,” I hoped, “You don’t need a man to make you happy? You can make you happy?”

“Easy for you to say,” she scoffed, “You’ve been single for two years.”

“Ouch…” I took offense to that, “That hurt, Veronica.”

“Oh,” Veronica realized the error of her ways quickly, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t supposed to come out. That was supposed to stay in my head.”

“I know, honey,” I let it go, “You’re still emotionally fragile and your mouth moves faster than your brain anyway.”

“Thanks, bitch!” she giggled, “Since you’re ridiculously good at this, could you get me ready?”

“My pleasure,” I agreed.

“I need something that says I’m not still in high school,” Veronica specified, “Something that’ll attract old money is a plus.”

“Really?” I rolled my eyes, getting my roll of brushes out, “A sugar daddy, Veronica?”

“Can’t hurt, can it?” she shrugged.

“I pray for you, child,” I let out a heavy, exasperated sigh, “I really do.”

And I got to work. Something that said she wasn’t still in high school…But I wanted to give her something that would make her feel better. So, eyeliner wings sharp enough to stab a man’s heart out seemed like a good idea. That is…Until I realized my liquid eyeliner had gone completely dry. Shit…

“Hold on a minute,” I stopped, “I need to make a phone call.”

“For what?” she wondered, “Is everything ok?”

“Fine,” I settled her, running back downstairs. I grabbed my phone off the end table and scrolled through my contacts. Come on. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.

“Hey, baby,” Julian answered, “What’s up?”

“Thank God,” I breathed out, “I need a favor.”

“Mimi, what’s wrong?” he went into instant panic mode.

“This is going to sound ridiculous,” I prefaced, “But you wouldn’t happen to know where I could score a good, black liquid eyeliner right now, would you?”

“The Sephora counter in the mall in Kansas City,” Julian assumed, “Why?”

“Will you go get me one,” I begged, “Urban Decay. Perversion. I will pay you back when you get here and I will love you forever.”

“Easy, speed racer,” he settled me, “I’ll go get your eyeliner. I was just about to leave the café anyway.”

“I need it toot sweet,” I rushed him, “The sooner, the better.”

“Alright,” Julian said, “I’ll be there in roughly an hour. Is that ok with you?”

“Fine,” I evened out, “I love you, Julian. You’re a lifesaver.”

“It’s what I do,” he sang, “I love you, too.”

Click.

And he complains about Paul not saying goodbye. Right now, I was so lucky to have him in my back pocket. I ran back upstairs and found Veronica going through my case. My beautifully well-organized case. That she was moving too much around in.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

“My eyeliner’s gone dead,” I relaxed a little, “I don’t have another one, but I got more on the way.”

“The things you do for love,” Veronica chimed, making swatches of various lipstick shades on the back of her hand.

“What do you mean?” I started to sweat a bit.

“You love me,” she pointed out, “And you’ve sent whoever on a wild goose chase for more.”

“Oh,” my anxiety eased, “No. I just asked Julian to score me some eyeliner. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“He’d do anything for you,” Veronica assumed, “Wouldn’t he?”

“Just about,” I reorganized my case. A place for everything and everything it its…Hold on, “Roni, did you take any nail polish out of here?”

“No,” she shook her head, “I found a bottle on the back of your sink, though.”

Sure enough, my dark blue was out. Huh. I haven’t painted my nails in ages. Griffin got pissy when I did that. Even my toes haven’t seen nail polish in a while. Last I looked at them, they were all chipped to hell. Oddly enough, they were this exact shade of blue. The same color as Amestrian military dress blues. Well, we were going out tonight. Might as well redo them. I had an hour to kill, “I could’ve sworn this was in the case.”

“Are you and Julian a thing yet?” Veronica wondered so innocently, “You can tell me. I’m emotionally fragile, not dead. I won’t freak or anything.”

“No,” I lied, peeling off my socks, “We’re just friends. Nothing more.”

“So,” she gave a dirty smirk, “He’s available and unattached.”

“Trust me,” I stopped her, “You’re not his type.”

“Why not?” she pouted, “I’m cute and sweet. What’s not to love?”

“You’re not a little full of yourself,” I chuckled, looking down at my already perfectly painted toes. When the hell did I do that? Did I repaint my toes and not…?

Did you notice my little surprise this morning?

Dammit, Julian. So much for that idea, but I couldn’t keep a smile off my face if I wanted to right now. This asshole. This adorably perfect asshole. There was no way I could ever get rid of him. It was Julian. He made it so easy to love him.

“What’s that face all about?” Veronica nudged me, “Tell me.”

“What face?” I tried to hide it.

“You’re blushing, Mimi!” she was so kind to point out, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.

“Fine,” Veronica let it go, “But I know there’s something. I will find out.”

“Whatever you say, sweetie,” I loved her, but she’s nuts.

“Knock, knock!” a familiar voice chimed from the front door, “Was this actually a sting operation? Am I going to be on TV? Do I get to meet Chris Hansen?”

“Up here, jackass,” I giggled.

“So?” I heard Julian’s footsteps echo through the hall, “What kind of shenanigans are we getting into tonight, ladies?”

“Veronica and I are going out on a Monday night,” I told, “Because that’s a good idea.”

“You’re too young to be old, Mimi,” he gave me a small Sephora bag, “Go have a little fun. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you owe me.”

“How much?” I wondered.

“Don’t worry about the eyeliner. I got that,” Julian brushed me off, “You ow me for the guy at the counter that told me I didn’t need it. And he winked at me.”

“Congratulations,” I giggled a little, “Was it Nate? I love him. He’s a sweetie.”

“I didn’t catch his name.”

“Thank you, Julian,” Veronica chimed from the bathroom.

“You’re welcome,” he came in, “Oh, Veronica, my little china doll, you look ravishing.”

“I look like shit,” she laughed, bringing music to my ears, “But I appreciate the Anchorman quote. You’re the first person to ever use the Veronica line on me.”

“Am I really?”

“Yeah,” Veronica came down, “I needed that.”

“You’re welcome,” he gave her a hug, “Even if all I’m good for is getting Mimi’s eyeliner and making you smile.”

“That’s not all you’re good for,” I assured, shooting a glance at my toes.

“I am a jack of all trades,” he shrugged, “I’m also a hint of a perfectionist and get bored easily. So, where are we going tonight?”

“Kansas City,” I loved this baka.

“Hey!” he squeaked, “I was just there! You two going to see Lilith?”

All of a sudden, it was like a lightbulb switched on in my head. I wanted Veronica somewhere safe and in a controlled environment. Veronica just wanted to have a good time, “Julian, you’re a genius.”

“More of an idiot savant,” he corrected, “Why do you give me such accolades?”

“Because you deserve them,” I hugged him tight, “Veronica, you want to borrow anything?”

“Tight, revealing, and makes me look like a call girl,” she requested.

“To think I left my corset at home,” Julian sighed out.

“You don’t have a corset, Julian,” I shook my head at him and started on Veronica’s face.

“Like hell, I don’t,” he confirmed, “When I still lived in St. Louis, I’d go to Rocky Horror every Halloween. I’ve been Frank N. Furter five years in a row.”

“There goes my sleep for tonight,” I teased, “All I can think of is you in fishnets.”

“You can’t tell me it’s not a little sexy,” Julian winked at me.

“I could give you Nate’s number,” I joked, “I’m sure you two would be very happy together.”

“He’s not my type,” he assured, “You, of all people, should know that.”

“I knew you two were a thing!” Veronica squeaked, “How long? How’d it happen?”

“Settle down, turbo,” Julian calmed her down, “She knows about my ex-fiancée.”

“Fiancée?” she settled, “You were engaged?”

“Six months ago,” he nodded, “Not exactly an easy thing to talk about. Together for two years. Engaged for another year after that. She cheated on me. But I think it’s because we became too different. She’d go on about how we were decorating the nurseries for the six kids she wanted to whip out and I wanted to go down to the beach and spin my lightsabers to some heavy techno music. She wasn’t the girl I fell in love with anymore. But I kept holding on. I moved here, I moved on.”

“Good for you,” Veronica applauded, “You have more intestinal fortitude than me, girlfriend.”

“You’ll get over him, too,” Julian promised, “It’ll take some time, but you will.”

“See?” Veronica popped me in the shoulder, “You told me to keep moving forward because I had two good legs and I needed to use them to make my own path or some philosophical bullshit. All I needed was that!”

“But Miles and I weren’t engaged,” I reminded her.

“Was he the last missus?” Julian assumed.

“Unfortunately,” I nodded, “Don’t call him the missus. I’m cringing.”

“Sorry.”

“Regardless,” Veronica broke us up, “These two legs are buying my drinks tonight. So, do you have anything tight and revealing.”

“Here,” I gave her my Misa dress, “This should work.”

“Perfect!” she squealed, “I’m going to go downstairs and get changed. Then, we should be off, right?”

“I’ll need a minute or two to get ready,” I slowed her down, “But I won’t take long. Probably by the time you’re ready, I’ll be ready, too.”

“Awesome!” Veronica took my dress, “I’ll be right back.”

And just like that, I had my little sister back. Maybe all she needed was a night out. However, while she was good and content, I needed to have some words with my not boyfriend. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and started fixing my mess of a face. I was ready for a night of marathoning shitty TV, not partying in Kansas City.

“Did you really give her Edward’s little speech he used to inspire Rose after the regime in Liore fell,” Julian wondered, “to a girl going through a breakup?”

“Essentially, they’re the same thing,” I shrugged, “The people of Liore were breaking up with that dick priest. Veronica was breaking up with Luke. End of story. Did you really tell Veronica we were just friends?”

“I thought that was the story we were telling people,” he reminded me, “Or do you want to be the one to say we’re in a happy relationship after hers fell to pieces?”

“Oh, hell no,” I shook my head, “But thank you for making her smile again. I didn’t want her to be mopey anymore and whatever I did wasn’t working.”

“It’s what we do,” Julian smiled, “Speaking of us being cut from the same cloth, where’s all the neat shit in your room?”

“Closet,” I told, “Remember? Veronica doesn’t know? My otaku center is hidden from almost everyone except you?’

“That’s right,” he wrapped his arms around my waist, “And I really can’t wait for the rest of the world to see you like I do. By the way, I noticed you gave her your Misa Misa cosplay.”

“She is Misa Misa,” I admitted, “She’s so Misa, it’s painful. Only difference is Veronica isn’t useless. Other than that, their personalities are so similar.”

“I’ve noticed,” Julian nuzzled his face in my neck, “With a blind obsession for her boyfriend to boot. I still wouldn’t mind giving Luke a good punch to the jaw. Veronica doesn’t deserve this.”

“You think you could do me one last favor?” I asked.

“Sure, baby,” he held me a little tighter, “What can I do for you?”

“Will you put a call in to Lilith?” I drew a thick line across my eyelid, “I’m going to placebo the hell out of Veronica.”

“Oh?” I had Julian’s interest, “What kind of placebo?”

“All of Veronica’s drinks tonight are going to be non-alcoholic.,” I explained, “She has to go to school in the morning and I remember the hell it was going to school hungover. And I have to work tomorrow morning. I don’t want to get shitfaced either. Veronica wants to be numb and what better emotional novacaine than tequila?”

“Have you ever tried Adderall?” he asked, “Works much better.”

“You sound way too voice of experience for my comfort.”

“I am too voice of experience for comfort,” Julian cringed, “But that’s a story for another day. I have to call Lilith and tell her what’s up. Until then, you need to finish getting ready and take your best friend out for shenanigans.”

“Thank you,” I finished up, cuddling into my boyfriend, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he kissed the top of my head and left me to get dressed. I know we were a thing, but it was too soon for Julian to see me completely naked. Who to put on tonight? I was Winry earlier today. Do I want to keep it in the Fullmetal family and go Hawkeye? I could do Hawkeye. The first time I was in Haven, I was in an Ouran uniform. Maybe I should switch to the boys’ uniform. No. Hawkeye. I wanted to be a badass sharpshooter/Roy Mustang’s nanny/future wife.

I put on my makeshift Amestrian military uniform and grabbed my bag off my chair, “Roni, you ready?”

“Ready!” she came out of the downstairs bathroom, looking like she was on the hunt for a sugar daddy, “Well? How do I look?”

“Adorable,” I gave her a spin, “The place we’re going to tonight is amazing. I’ve been a couple times and if you’re looking to eat your feelings, it’s perfect.”

“And if you’re looking to score?”

“It’s Kansas City,” I pointed out as the two of us went out the door, “There are a few beautiful boys in that town. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“You did make sure I didn’t have baby face, right, Mimi?” she kept her fingers crossed, “I look more adult than I actually am?”

“Yes,” I assured, “I contoured the hell out of your face. You’re golden.”

“Good!” Veronica sang, “Let’s go!”

I pulled out of my driveway and started heading toward Kansas City. Hopefully, Julian put the call in already. This would prove to be an interesting night. I’m thrilled to see how Veronica’s going to take to placebos. I’ve never seen her drunk before, so this should be intriguing. I just hope the fake booze doesn’t make her a weepy drunk.

#Sorry For Being a Closet Otaku #nanowrimo #NaNoWriMo 2016

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