#somatisation

[drclaudiosaracinodcsworld]

HYPERIDROSE SOLUTION | CA SUFFIT TRANSPIRATION A GOGO téléchargez l'audio DCS: STOP HYPERIDROSE https://claudiosaracino.com/prodotto/no-iperidrosi-no-sudore-eccessivo-metodo-dcs/ #suer #transpiration   #Hyperhidrose   🟢🇫🇷 1 MONDE MYSTERIEUX TON SUBCONSCIENT…hypnose DCS unique au monde  téléchargez l'audio DCS: NON PASSE NEGATIF https://claudiosaracino.com/prodotto/... #hypnose #secret   #mystere     SLTP SI TU AS DES SUJETS OU DES ARGUMENTS QUE TU AIME DEVELOPPER, ECRITS LES LA ET LE DR CLAUDIO SARACINO GRATUITEMENT VA DEVELOPPER CE QUI TU DESIRES, D'ACCORD? TU PEUX, SI TU LE DESIRES, INDIQUER MEME DES THEMES OU ARGUMENTS NEFS... MERCI ET SLTS   Sltp ecoutes ma pensée et, si tu le desires, poses des commentaires... #hypnose#methodedcs#hyonosedcs #methodedcs#hypnose #hypnosedcs #mp3dcs #drclaudiosaracino #losangeles#beverlihills#californie#usa#etasunit#drssarinabrunini#autohypnosedcs#methodedcs#mp3dcs#audiodcs #hypnosedcs#drclaudiosaracino#hypnose . Une de plus grandes différences par rapport à d’autres disciplines comme le yoga, la méditation, le yoga, le mendfulness, le mantra, le zen etc c’est que toi tu peux aider un de tes chers qui ne veut pas ton aide ou il ne peut pas avoir ton aide  Ecoutes ce que j’ai à dire et partagés cette vidéo avec tes amis...IL NE FAUT PAS CROIRE😳IL FAUT SEULEMENT FAIRE ACTION😳il y a ce qui fait et ce qui ne fait pas...😳SEULEMENT A TOI LE CHOIX ⚔ 💪🏿YouTube👇🏿 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcNG...  👉🏿Facebook👇🏿 https://www.facebook.com/ipnologiasso...  👉🏿Instagram👇🏿 https://www.instagram.com/benessereip...  👉🏿twitter👇🏿 https://twitter.com/drsaracino 👉🏿Tiktok👇🏿https://vm.tiktok.com/GKxqYj/ 👉🏿sito:👇🏿 https://www.ipnologiassociati.com

[prunelier]

every time i'm too in love or too angry i catch a cold

[radiomogai]

[PT: Moalte. end PT]

Mophallia is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing phallus, or attach a prosthetic.

Moambic is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing mixed set of genitalia, or attach prosthetics.

Monullia is genital modification and prosthetics done to modify nulled genitalia or to close genitalia.

Movulvia is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing vulva, or attach a prosthetic.

pasted from under the cut for archival purposes

Moalte

Moalte Somatization, MoSo, or Moalte, is an altersex trait related to genital modification and prosthetics. This somatization focuses on experiencing an extended physical sensation of one's body by use of mods and prosthetics that may or may not have the ability to be removed or separated. Similarly, someone who has a missing arm using a prosthetic may feel it as if it were attached to them organically.

___

For Altersex and Intersex people to claim, not for dyadics/perisex.

The symbol for moaltes is a green Altersex Symbol with inspiration from the Freak Pride flag for the V inside the ring. The two shades of blueberry represent added mods and prosthetics, while the smoky light blue in between the two bars represent the physical body.

Moalte has variations that specify a specific modification.

Mophallia is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing phallus, or attach a prosthetic.

Moambic is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing mixed set of genitalia, or attach prosthetics.

Monullia is genital modification and prosthetics done to modify nulled genitalia or to close genitalia.

Movulvia is genital modification and prosthetics done either to modify an existing vulva, or attach a prosthetic.

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAs cold as your heart ･:*:｡𓏲ּ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDr. ishida uryu x f! reader

Chapter 3: misunderstandings. for rainbows to form, you always need the rain first.

❄ a/n: told you it was going to be fast! my, my... what is going on with this story?! why is everything getting more and more complicated?! well, for rainbows to form, you always need the rain first... right? ❄ tw: not much, VERY angsty for now. A little TOO indulgent? maybe... I always wanted reader to get involved with Ryuken, yet not in the way you might think... or yes? mh!. fainting. bloody knees. headache. ❄ headcanon alert 1➡ given the fact that we've seen Uryu fainting and running fevers many times, I headcanon him to be a guy who somatises a lot. So I think it fits since he is fighting against his own emotions during the story. ❄ headcanon alert 2 ➡ since we know Ryuken has 0 skills to communicate the love for his child, there are some little additions about him when Uryu was a kid that might melt your heart 💖 ❄ masterlist.

“Dr. Ishida, I’m sorry I don’t want to take time from you… it’s late, I – I should go back home, I can walk” you sniffle once he stops at a red light. 

Ryuken looks at you, probably confirming you are just as silly as his son. “You think I’ll leave you outside, with the snow, at night, after my son broke your heart and with your knees bleeding?” he asks, seriously, implying you aren’t allowed to decide what to do either way.

You simply nod; once in a while, you might want to let the elder take care of you. However, the fact that he isn’t driving to your home nor back to the hospital makes you wonder, exactly, what he is planning to do.

“Uh… Dr. Ishida, where are we going?” you ask, probably already knowing.

“Home” he answers back, straight to the point. 

“But – your son…” you reply, worried. Uryu just rejected you in such way, the least you would like to do is to go bother him at his own house. 

“My son? He isn’t coming back now, that’s a fact”

The Ishida house -manor- awaits with tiny little lights garnishing its windows. You remember the place to be darker and less lively, imbued in seriousness and sterile looks. Probably, Ryuken felt the need to decorate his home now that Uryu is back and that melts your heart. 

The huge fence at the front opens to let Dr. Ishida drive inside. You remain silent, the crying hasn’t stopped just yet, but you calmed yourself enough to keep your composure. 

A woman dressed in black and white opens the door, taking a swift look at your state. Probably, she wonders why you are there and why is the man of the house helping you enter. Domestic service will have a field day with every type of rumor.

Ryuken takes your already wet coat off, and commands for you to wait on a white sofa. You hesitate but sit carefully to avoid your knees even coming closer to it… you don’t want to leave blood marks on a probably very expensive settee. 

Soon, he comes back with a little box in his hands. A first aid kit to treat your wounds and a pair of gloves hanging from it. 

He has taken his coat off, and it might be the first time in all these years you see this man only wearing his shirt rolled up with no tie. 

You swallow; never once you’ve noticed how much Uryu and him look alike until now. No matter how different their hair colour can be, Ryuken has given his son delicious genes…  

“Let me see” he mutters, kneeling in front of you to inspect your bloody legs. 

You blink slowly, shaking your head side to side. How could you go from painful to indecent thoughts in a matter of seconds? 

“Mh, take your stockings off please” he orders. He couldn’t cure your knees on top of that nylon material even if he wanted to. 

You nod, standing up, full of shame. Cheeks on fire, trembling hands. He wants you to take your tights in front of him? while kneeling down? Apparently, yes. 

You try to lower them down without lifting the skirt of your uniform, though it becomes almost impossible. However, you do it quickly with his help; Ryuken pulls down your stockings exposing your right thigh a little too much…

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ“RYUKEN??!!! (NAME)????!!!” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ“Uryu calm down… I am just cur-” 

You couldn’t believe how things were unfolding right in front of your eyes. Uryu’s orbs went from miserable to enraged. His father? You? What is happening right now?

You flop back into the couch as everything begins spinning around in circles. Your heart is about to pop from your chest, going faster with every second it passes. 

The Quincy cross around Uryu’s wrist peaks through his coat, falling down ready to become his arch. 

“Son, you are a fool” Ryuken repeats, standing up. His glasses showing the blueish shine of his only child’s weapon pointed at him. 

“A fool you say? You are, indeed, right… Ryuken! From all the women, from all the-“

You have no idea how, nor when, but you run to hug Uryu as tight as it is humanly possible. Strands of your hair get cut by the reiishi coming to his arrow, the sound of it buzzing on your eardrums. 

“How could you think of your father this way? How could you think of me this way?” you ask, crying against his neck. “How could you…”

The Quincy archer’s hands tremble, becoming weaker and weaker until his arch turns back into his cross. His breathing begins to slow down, so much until you notice he might have stopped breathing. 

His weight becomes more and more noticeable in your arms, until it’s undeniable that he can’t stand up on his own. 

“Uryu? Uryu…?!” you panic, trying to hold his body up. 

“Ah… he hasn’t changed…” Ryuken sighs, coming to your help. His son has fainted, and it isn’t new. Uryu usually does when he can’t manage certain things. 

With utmost care, his father takes him to his bed. He deposits him there, as he used to do when Uryu was a child. 

“Y’know, this little shit… when he fell asleep he thought only his mom would carry him to his bed… but it was me. Every time he fell asleep anywhere but his bed, it was me who carried him in my arms… they grow but they never change” Ryuken says, almost in pain, while standing right on the bedroom door.  “Stay for as long as you wish, I’ll tell the domestic service to prepare the guest room in case you want to rest” 

You give him a sweet smile and a nod, still a little embarrassed for what had just happened. You watch this man go, while you remain sitting on Uryu’s bed, right next to him. 

You slowly take his glasses off, in such a way not even a feather could be that delicate. And in the same way, you move his onyx hair off his face. 

Uryu’s skin feels as soft as a cloud; the tip of your finger barely touches his cheek in a loving little caress. Perhaps guilty, you let your eyes feast on his unconscious façade. Perhaps this will be the last time you do. Perhaps he will hate you tomorrow and will let you know about it. 

“Move out of the way”  his words replay one too many times on your memories; it breaks your heart; it makes your whole body hurt. You should be the one mad at him, six years have passed and not a single time he dared to talk, to look, to even explain to you.. why did you leave me? 

And, despite him leaving you, mistreating you and now even thinking of you in such a despicable way, you stay by his side. 

Slowly, minutes pass, and he still doesn’t want to wake up. You know he is fine; he is just purposely deciding not to open his eyes. He did this when he was young, he did this many, many times. 

“I miss you… I have never stopped loving you” you whisper, bending to kiss his forehead. But you stop yourself; with lips in pain screaming to touch his skin, you simply couldn’t do it. 

And so, as the night progresses, your eyes slowly close… tired, hurt, in pain… your eyes finally shut off. 

Almost like in slow motion, your body slides down until you flop on the side of his bed. 

The little shake of your weight against the mattress wakes Uryu up. Such slumber finally eases off when he sees you sleeping on his side. A mix of pain and rage travels through his veins, what he saw still makes no sense to him. 

However, his body feels sore. His soul, even more. He isn’t able to move a little further from where he is. Uryu doesn’t want to wake you up, because if he did, he must put on that same act and kick you out from his own bed… he doesn’t really want you to go; deep inside, having you by his side is all he’s been wanting to do since the day he left. 

His eyes, opened like lonely stars illuminating a dark night, try to remove themselves from your sleeping you. He fails, miserably. Your beauty, your skin, every bump on your face, the scent of your flesh. It feels warm, so warm to be close to you… 

“So, this is how it feels to sleep right by your side?” he whispers, stopping his hand from touching the concavity of your waist as you lay on your side. “I wonder how it feels to hug… to touch all your skin” he continues, this time only in mind. “I wonder how it feels…” 

He had only kissed your lips, in a chaste, innocent peck. The first and the last, a pending love he hasn’t ever forgotten about. Now, as an adult, and after trying so many times with failed relationships that couldn’t even be named as such, his skin still burns for you. Just like the first time, just like what he considers the last. 

A sting on Uryu’s temple makes his eyes shut close; a headache he rarely had, now is more and more frequent… he feels like throwing up, a little dizzy and what not. A pain on his stomach follows, sharp, almost like leaving him with no air. 

“I should sleep a little more…” 

The sun shines through winter clouds of cold; snow has pooled on the streets and slowly begins to melt. Morning arrived a little too fast for both of you, given the fact that probably none of you wanted to wake up to face reality. 

“(Name)…” a whispering voice wakes you up. 

“Hmn?” you murmur, turning around, hugging something that feels warm.

“(Name)��

You wake up suddenly, realizing Uryu’s arm lays tangled in yours. His flesh feels like burning; He still sleeps, soundly -a little snoring here and there- and an expression of something bothering him. Maybe it is just the pain of his heart… You try to slide off his side to see the owner of the voice that’s been calling you up. 

“Dr. Ishida!” you whisper, standing up, stiffening all your muscles. Your waist feels sore, sleeping in such uncomfortable position probably has to do with it. 

“I’m having breakfast and heading to the hospital, are you coming?” Uryu’s father asks, he is, after all, your boss. As his assistant nurse, you are used to working with him… yet Uryu, doesn’t know about it just yet. 

“Are you sure, Doctor? Please don’t bother I-“ embarrassed, you try to brush the mess on your hair as well as the heavily wrinkled uniform. 

“Mh, let’s go. Don’t worry about him, he is probably sleeping all day… he used to do that while he was a kid. Also, when we get to my office, let’s check those knees. You hit hard against the ground” he continues, leaving the room with you following him. 

By now Uryu has already woken up, yet, his eyes remained closed on purpose. Listening to his father talk with you about him, about his day and especially letting him know you work with him every day aggravates his headache. 

He turns around, sinking his head into the pillow that has a faint scent of your perfume. Betrayed! Why has his father never told him you worked with him? What was the point of hiding such important information from him? 

ㅤ“He is doing it again… he is hiding stuff from me, once again… are they…?”

Never once did he feel betrayed like he feels right now. So much he did, that he began thinking this must be some kind of karma for what he did back during Yhwach’s evil plan. 

Uryu fights to remain calm and mature when facing both of you having breakfast; he wants to stand up from bed but feels so dizzy he can’t lift his head up from the pillow. Soon he notices sweat covering his neck and chest, but sadness has invaded him to really give a damn about his health anyway.  

“Dr. Ishida, is Uryu going to be ok? He seemed paler than ever, and how he fainted… I know this happened many times before when he was younger but… I don’t know…” you mumble, fidgeting on Ryuuken’s car seat. You are worried but still a little hurt by his words.  

“He is going to be fine, this is just the way he deals with stress, remember my son is a doctor. If he knows something is wrong, he will for sure tell me” Ryuuken informs you. 

“So, he graduated then… I’m so proud of him, is he a surgeon like you?” you ask, genuinely smiling. 

“A pediatrician” he answers back. “And I hope to have him with us very soon” 

You bite your nails, if Uryu wants you out of his sight he is probably not working with his father for sure. You soon realize you might be interfering a little too much in between them and the last thing you wish for is to make their relationship worse. 

You remain silent after that and up until you both arrive at the hospital. Once again, the receptionist and basically half the staff whisper while you pass through corridors and halls. For the very first time, now that you don’t want Uryu to misunderstand your relationship with Ryuken, you realize what the whispers are about. 

After having your knees checked, and even if they hurt a little, both get to work almost immediately. A couple of surgeries after, the phone of Ryuken’s office rings. 

You watch the white-haired man pick up and with that, his face transforming…

“Bring my son immediately to the sixth floor!” he screams at someone through the phone. He stands up and orders you to get ready for surgery…

 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ“(Name), get ready. OR number 2. Now!” 

[To be continued]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

[lisaalmeida]

La résilience est la faculté, la vertu de rebondir face à un événement négatif, traumatisant.

C est une capacité à chercher et sortir le positif et l enseignement derrière chaque situation.

Le corps est un magnifique ami pendant ces périodes de résilience. Il peut prendre du poids, s arrondir, amortir les chocs, protéger, encaisser, mettre un espace entre soi et les autres le temps d accuser le coup, de transformer et de remonter la pente.

Cette période, où le corps aide et accompagne, évite de somatiser des maladies. C est un appui inestimable. Il est rempli d une force et d une adaptabilité.

À la guérison complète, le corps dégonfle, retrouve sa forme, son poids. La compréhension et la digestion de l événement sont dépassées.

Gratitude et célébration à ce corps physique qui nous accompagne à chaque instant. A tous ses moments de silence, d amour et de sacrifice...

Laurence Simonnet

Page Femme Sacrée Divina

[asherlockstudy]

SAD POST

I am so at the lowest of lows right now

I sense that my wisdom teeth are getting angry and somehow simultaneously a forgotten impacted canine that my orthodontist FORGOT and thus completed my HELLA EXPENSIVE treatment without pulling out the freaking adult canine which means that it will eventually get out and I will have to remove my permanent retainer, pull out the baby canine and then do new orthodontics to put the adult canine in the proper place…. Anyway the canine seems to get antsy as well and I have so much pressure in my jaw right now, not only because three teeth are trying to erupt but also because my permanent retainer stops them from actually erupting 🙃 the battle of the titans in my jaw

And it would all be fine if I did not have gigantic molars in a very narrow and delicate lower jaw which means that my wisdom teeth are of course fully impacted and basically behind my cheek. I saw a YouTube video by a mature orthodontist titled “the hardest wisdom tooth I ever extracted” and the scan of that tooth looked a little easier than mine hahaHA 🥲🥲🥲 And also the patient was younger and male with much wider jaws than me so no contest I beat him hands down.

And not only my jaw is very small and delicate and pulling out the third molars will probably put too much pressure for it to handle but also I have huge reasons to believe (ie sporadic spasms that happen a few times per year) that one or more of these impacted teeth sit on my alveolar nerve which makes me a perfect candidate for nerve damage during these extractions.

And it’s not just that but in my country oral surgeons perform with local anaesthesia unless you break your face in an accident or something and NO SIR I am not having this shit with local anaesthesia. Did it once with the most freakish impacted upper canine in existence and I am not fucking doing it again. But I don’t know where to go, they all use only local, even clinics in the capital avoid sedation or iv.

I am in a constant extreme worry and of course that took a toll to my GI tract issues and I am having huge bloating and heart ache (it’s from the bowels projecting there, I had it before).

Also I once again might have to soon get out of my own house due to nightmarish neighbours about to come to the apartment upstairs and I know for a fact these are going to be worse than the bastard living in it three years ago and even worse those are the owners of the apartment, so if they come, you know they are staying for life. Which means I can’t stay in mine. Even though I am also an owner.

And I am just observing that I must be one of the globally best cases of extreme somatisation. Because all my concerns, even minor inconveniences, have a severe and even immediate consequence on my body. My worries lead to severe eczema and scratching that I cannot stop. I am bleeding from my hands and legs. My allergies are amazing, they really are largely psychological, the moment a person I find annoying enters the room I am in, I start sneezing, it is unbelievable. If a clothe doesn’t sit on me right, when I am in a hurry, in the most minor unpleasant temperature change, I start sneezing nonstop. I am a bloody nut job. Mentally, in the way I behave I am a pretty pliable and patient person I think and all my frustration gets out physically. I can’t believe me.

By the way I know a visit to a therapist or a prescription of some medication might be long due. I am very aware of many things, at least awareness is not a problem with me. I just want to vent here.

[lekintsugihumain]

Tagged by the sweet @e642 🌌 Personne ne lira ça mais ça passe le temps

When was the last time you cried: Au travail pendant la formation de secourisme au travail, ça m'a mis face (encore) au fait que je n'ai pas pu sauver mon père de sa mort

Do you have kids: Ma soeur, et ma génitrice et son mari (oui c'est 3 enfants j'vous jure)

What sports do you play/have you played: tous les citer c'est prétentieux

Do you use sarcasme: c'est tout ou rien, il y a ceux avec qui on le fait h24 et d'autres jamais mais je m'en sers pas comme joker pour blesser à contrario de beaucoup de gens

Whats the first thing you notice about people: J'aurai répondu la même chose que la personne qui m'a taggué, + les mains étrangement on peut deviner beaucoup de chose grâce à elles

Whats your eyes color: Noisettes

Scary movie or happy ending: Quitte à choisir... scary movie with a happy ending lmao

Any talents : Avoir une santé catastrophique à même pas 30 ans et de somatiser

Where were you born: Pas dans le meilleur des mondes en tout cas

What are your hobbies: c'est périodique, mais est-ce que ruminer est un hobbies ?

Do you have any pets: Plus maintenant

How tall are you: m.d.r

Favorite subject in school: J'ai adoré mes études d'histoire de l'art et d'archéologie et la biologie dans mon coeur

Dream job: C'est cliché mais le métier où je ne me lèverai pas le matin en trainant des pieds et qui me foutra pas en burn out

So now tag other people: @dina-wolf @perduedansmatete (un tag x2 juste pour le plaisir) @

[yugotrash]

i somatise stress in ways you couldn't believe. my insides look like tangled and chewed up earphone wires from 2002 from all the things that upset me

[outlying-hyppocrate]

on me transperce - la somatisation encore

[motsimages]

I had a moment today when I cried in public, during a leisure activity that was fun and joyful. My mother was there and she hugged me and reminded me that I can speak with her.

But there is nothing to speak about, this is about feeling, about allowing emotions to come to the surface. For the past couple of years, for one reason or another, I have been carrying certain weighs here and there and the emotions of those weighs are still beneath the surface.

Even though I know that life doesn't stop, that I may need a break but it will never come, that I will have to find the time to be with myself, to allow for those emotions to happen, etc. I haven't been able to as often as I should.

Lately I have cried and grieved that, due to my latest back problems, I couldn't walk and so, I couldn't even walk down the street to see the countryside, to be on my own there, in nature. It is a 5 minute walk and I couldn't do it.

I know that I somatise a lot in my back (I learned yesterday that cortisol, the stress hormone, is made by the adrenal glands which are conveniently placed above the kidneys, no wonder my back hurts after a period of stress). And so I have an interest in learning how to manage this, to allow a flow of feelings and emotions or I will not be able to walk and I will be in great pain. It is still not easy.

I managed to get my pain down a lot just by meditating. And after aknowledging that I cannot walk to nature and grieving that, my level of pain decreased and my mobility increased. I am also training with personalised exercises suited to my current situation, it's not all meditation and emotional work, but it all comes together.

And yesterday, despite it all, I walked and I didn't need to stop as often as before. I didn't walk far or much, but I wasn't in a lot of pain and I didn't limp much. It is tiring though. Very tiring. I still have the feeling that I may never walk as well or as far as before, while I do hope that I will.

But I only need to walk to nature, and that, I think I can do.

[a-room-of-my-own]

Après 3 mois d'aménorrhée puis 2 semaines de règles et 3 semaines d'hypersomnie je rentre dans la dernière phase de somatisation : les douleurs articulaires de l'enfer.

Oui je suis GI Joe sous pression, mais le prix à payer est élevé une fois que la pression retombe 😆

[maridai]

NOTES ON ... C-PTSD / MENTAL STRESS.

mari experiences varying levels of mental states and symptoms, all of which are things that she lives with on a relatively consistent basis. some are circumstance dependent, but others are not, and although she doesn’t identify it as c-ptsd, nor have any official diagnosis for her other mental illnesses, she does live with them. short notes are outlined below on symptoms and coping mechanisms.

feelings of threat / paranoia:   mari is extremely paranoid, and almost always is in a state of hyper-vigilance due to the consistent feeling of being under some sort of threat, or expecting one to appear. because of this, her social withdrawal is relatively high, and relationships with others can skew or be impaired.

feeling different to others:   although mari is generally a very singular person, she feels a mass amount of isolation. the world around her feels nigh unreachable at points in time because of the dividing line she feels is there, and is coped with her consistently lowering other individuals down to nothing. she doesn’t see other people as people, and has warped the feelings of isolation in order to cope.

disconnection from others:   mari has felt separated from a majority of  “normal“  people and connections with others for a very long time. as she has gone throughout her life, the disconnection and after-effects  (or current effects, dependent on timeline,)  of isolation are things that commonly create feelings of alienation. while this is something she holds a level of insecurity in in her interpersonal relationships, she also has skewed her mentality to the point of not registering other individuals as actual human beings to connect with unless they strike a point within her that shakes her awake, so to speak. mari’s disconnection with others, combined with the immense trauma she suffered from, combined into a need to separate herself in a  “positive“  light, and create a disconnection that felt more like lifting herself up, rather than a disconnection that outcasted her.

feeling permanently damaged or ineffective:   this is frequently combated with mari’s delusion of being higher   (or, in a  “positive“  sense, different to others)   and more capable than others. regardless of her own warped self image, mari feeling a sense of damage is something she fights against actively. this is why we most commonly see her surge into manipulative and violent behaviors when feelings of inadequacy or inefficiency rise up; having a direct need to  “prove“  herself. she can, time and time again, see evidence and proof of her quote-unquote usefulness and effectiveness. she can, in her mind, prove to herself that she is better, or more. 

somatisation:   often occurring when distressed, usually nausea related. she’s experienced this from a young age, and in her most distressed and fearful moments, has gotten physically sick from the stress levels.

intrusive thoughts:   i do not designate mari’s violent or homicidal thoughts as something that is intrusive. she does not feel any sense of shame, concern, or regret towards them. however, she does experience frequent intrusive thoughts and fears of becoming her parents in one way or another. mari’s lack of willingness to label herself as an addict stems from the direct fear   (and sometimes the direct thought)   that she will become her mother. there are times that she feels an immense amount of disgust towards herself for this, and then will combat it with a drawn line between functioning addicts and non-functioning addicts, rather than focusing on the addict title itself. becoming her father is something that will never allow mari to harm children, but more than that, she has deep rooted fears of ever even exposing or implicating a child in any small harm. she feels a striking amount of compassion, care, and empathy for children in any regard, but the fear of becoming an abuser is so intense that if mari even accidentally harmed a child, it would destabilize her. she would never forgive herself.

dysregulation of emotions:   because of mari’s detachment and lack of ability to see a majority of people as people, her dysregulation isn’t as common to witness. however, mari is an incredibly sensitive person as she is. when combined with this symptom, she often is prone to lashing out, spiraling into her own impulses, and engaging in reckless behavior in a want to self-soothe. mari’s dysregulation of her high highs and low lows can often result in damaging behavior to those around her, sometimes at extremes, and she tends to isolate or push people away in hostile instinct. her irritability, despair, and skewed self-perspectives worsen when her emotions are unregulated, as well as her stutter.

psychogenic stutter:   mari developed her stutter when she was around 14, and while it can go up or down in terms of how much it is present, it is something she has never received  (or has had accessibility to)  any speech therapy or assistance with. 

feelings of emptiness and hopelessness:   mari often feels as if there is something missing or hollow inside of her. she does not tend to imagine anything other than the way she functions in the present moment, and beginning to find hope for herself is something that she struggles intensely to even begin to do, however, it does tend to be skewed. both mari’s feeling of emptiness and her hopelessness are twisted into a perspective of her having everything she needs, or that the emptiness  (or the hollow feeling she has inside of her)  are things that make her even more effective and efficient, rather than anything that hinders her or leaves her feeling alienated.

nightmares  /  night terrors:   mari does experience night terrors, which is a massive factor in why she sleeps very little. mari’s consistent drinking tends to be a crutch on her sleeping to begin with, and the nightmares that she experiences can be incredibly severe. being able to feel safe in her own house, space, body, and surroundings is something that mari struggles with outside of sleep, but particularly within this arena is where it becomes the most present.

[disdancetune]

You think it's triangulation?

Well maybe

But it's a bit as though not only sexuality is negotiated through the triangle but also pathology

The cure narrative is foregrounded through the fox dream

That said I feel like there's also a reading that is sort of eliminating a preconstructed depth (the "slimy serpent" depth that Lawrence bemoans when attacking Freud's unilateral depth reading)

If this is a materialist critique, then the triangle elements body-mind-environment interact, but one is not symptomatic of the other

As in, Freud would say:

Body (somatises mind's conflicts)

------------ environment

Mind (unconscious conflicts)

So the mind's "supressed enjoyment" is negotiated through all things farming and nature

But I guess through an ecocrip lens it would be a surface level triangle of all of these aspects

And then of course there's another layer emerging because Lawrence proposes this model as an alternative to the surface depth one.... I'm gonna draw it

So anyway, Lawrence doing the constructing and juxtaposing is of course another metalayer

Maybe read in an ecocrip way this suddenly turns into a critique of how privilege patterns geopolitically, this becoming evident through how debilitation works on the level of the body, of the mind, and the environment (what is adjacent to the bodymind, what makes the bodymind inhabitable)

I guess an inhabitable environment is the precondition for and inhabitable body that is not rendered more porous and then engulfed

And an inhabitable body is identity-ed, selfed, or identity-able, selfable

Identity itself is a privilege, as in, can I afford to construct it? Can I afford to divulge it? Has there been enough codification going on for it to be constructable at all? Can I this live in it?

[teumbeleur]

Un homme grille un feu rouge.

Un homme parle fort. Un homme veut être plus fort qu'un homme. Un homme prend des risques et se blesse. Un homme tombe malade et se tait pour être un homme. Un homme veut avoir "la plus grosse" que tous les hommes.

Un homme ne consulte pas, il somatise, un homme ne s'analyse pas, il formalise. Un homme veut parler et se fait remballer par un homme. Un homme pleure et se fait moquer par un homme.

Un homme ne pense pas, il agit. Un homme entend mais n'écoute pas. Un homme fusionne avec une carrosserie.

"Chaque problème, une solution" et encore un homme croit qu'il a raison.

Tristesse? Colère!

Amertume? Colère!

Honte? Colère!

Chagrin? Colère!

Douleur? Colère!

Comme un gel douche 3 en 1, une seule émotion pour exprimer toutes les autres.

Un homme ne voit pas le problème, un homme dit "tu exagères", un homme n'est pas comme un autre homme. Un homme et ses angles morts d'homme.

Un homme obtient, un homme décide, un homme possède, un homme esquive, un homme prend car "qui ne dit mot, consent".

Un homme "joue" à se battre avec un homme. Un homme enferme un homme, un homme torture un autre homme. Un hommes envoie des hommes en guerre. Un homme joue à la marelle 3, 5, 7, Ciel, un homme et sa cervelle. Un homme et un glock et la tête d'un homme.

Un homme tue un homme.

Cachez nos petits garçons! Cachez nos petits garçons!

[pigeonneaux]

Entrain de découvrir me merveilleux monde de la somatisation, one symptom at a time

[peaceisblue]

La question que tu dois te poser papa c'est pourquoi je décide de ne plus t'adresser la parole ?

Je ne veux plus rentrer en contact avec toi car je ne me sens pas pleinement écoutée quand je suis avec toi. J'ai la boule au ventre quand je suis chez mamie, j'ai mon système nerveux qui est dérégulé et je somatise mes émotions (liées à des traumas) : je me sens dissociée et je ne fonctionne plus normalement. Je n'arrive plus à être moi-même (comme quand je suis avec maman ou d'autres personnes par exemple). J'ai appris à me dissocier inconsciemment pour me protéger. Me protéger de l'image du père qui se met en colère pour un rien. De la violence émotionnelle et morale qui est reçue. Me dissocier pour ni me soumettre, ni réagir. Me conformer à l'image de la petite fille sage qui obéit mais qui au fond souffre, mais qui au fond déborde de sensibilité liée à son entourage.

TOUT traumatisme est à prendre en compte. Un traumatisme n'est pas nécessairement un traumatisme de guerre ou liée à l'absence physique des parents. Les "petits" traumas existent. Ils sont à prendre en compte et c'est pas pour leur intensité qu'ils faudrait les minimiser ou maximiser.

Un trauma est un conditionnement enregistré à la suite d'un événement externe produit par un contexte, par une ou plusieurs personnes, de manière volontaire ou non.

Je suis probablement responsable d'un ou plusieurs traumas inconscients engendrés chez quelqu'un. Notamment peut-etre chez Susy ma petite soeur. Je le reconnais, et je change de comportement avec elle.

Tu es responsable de traumas causées chez mes soeurs, maman, et moi.

Maman est responsable de traumas que je porte.

Et si je décide de prendre mes distances avec vous, c'est aussi pour comprendre et guérir ça. Ca me fait de la peine de devoir vous rendre coupable de mes maux. En réalité, je suis responsable aujourd'hui de mon changement. Maintenant, j'aimerai que vous compreniez que vous aussi vous pouvez remettre en question vos mécanismes. Parce que si je prend mes distances avec vous, c'est pour me protéger. Marre de devoir me dissocier. Maintenant si je suis présente physiquement, ce sera pour poser ma personnalité d'adulte. Pour dire ce que je pense sans me faire couper la parole, sans me faire contredire violemment et sans recevoir de la colère. Je mérite tellement pas ça !!!

Je suis fatiguée de voir toi et maman prendre parti dans des histoires qui ne vous concernent pas directement, ci contre un exemple -> tatie patty. J'y vois que des jugements, de la plainte, des critiques.

Avoir une famille ne suffit pas. Non !!! C'est ton argument parce que tu n'as pas eu de famille, ok je comprend, mais pour que ça soit comme un acquis et que tu te permettes tout avec nous; non et non !!

Je veux des parents qui soient en paix avec eux-mêmes et avec leur histoire. Voilà le meilleur exemple qu'un parent peut donner à son enfant.