#solving

[korpsewax]

its still so insane to me that tozer was just casually carrying around irving's spyglass. like... what the fuck kind of homo shit is that?

[johntonkin]

26 Solving for the prompts? :3c

“You’re going to jail for this.”

John started, looking around to see where the voice — strangely casual for its harsh words — had come from. He’d been certain he was alone at his little bench, tucked away in the corner of the park with his book, but he had forgotten there was another smaller path coming out of the trees behind him, connecting them to the other half of the park. He heard the man speak again before he came into view.

“You are. You’re going to jail. And I’m not going to do anything about it. They’re going to come and accuse you of theft and I’m not going to cover for you.”

His words were firm but slightly condescending, as if explaining something to a particularly stubborn child, and it wasn’t until finally he stepped out of the trees that John understood what was happening.

The man — the broad, hairy, unquestionably handsome man — had perhaps the largest, fluffiest dog John had ever seen with him, a tiny plush rat clamped delicately in its large jaws.

“Are you listening to me?” asked the man, still looking very seriously down at the dog. “You’re going to do hard time, Bear. Years, maybe.”

The dog, unsurprisingly, did not reply.

John let out a shocked little laugh before he could stop himself, and the man finally looked up, noticing for the first time that he and his dog were not alone.

“Well, shit,” said the man, fixing John with a grin that made his insides feel as if they were about to turn to jelly. “Look at that, Bear, you’ve got a witness to your crime. Now I’ll have to turn you in, can’t make this nice gentleman an accomplice.”

“I could be an accomplice,” John choked out, despite never having been an accomplice to anything in his entire life.

“Yeah?” asked the man, looking John up and down, taking him in from his sweater-vest to his freshly polished oxfords and smirking. “To what, tax evasion?”

John wanted to protest, but he hardly could, not when his boss quite literally had been arrested on charges of tax evasion not two years earlier.

“What’s he done, then?” he asked instead.

“Stolen this rat from one of the other dogs at the park,” said the man. “It’s so small and she’s so big I didn’t even realise ‘til we’d left already.”

“I walk through there,” said John quickly, words coming out of his mouth before he even had time to consider them. “On my way home. If you like I can put it on a bench or something. Maybe they’ll come back for it.”

“Oh, I can—” the man began, before pausing, seeming to consider something. “Yeah, alright,” he said finally, squatting down in front of the dog. “Guess you’re not a narc after all. Drop it, Bear.”

“High praise,” said John, and the man’s smile came back again as he caught the rat that Bear deposited gently in his hands.

“I’m Sol, by the way,” he said, getting back to his feet, stepping towards John, closer than he needed to reach out and hand him the slightly damp toy. Their fingers brushed as John accepted it. “We’re here Mondays and Fridays usually. If you want to let me know how it goes.”

“Sure,” said John, not quite understanding what he meant by it. It was only a stuffed rat. Why would John need to let him know how it goes?

It wasn’t until Sol and Bear had said their goodbyes and walked away that the realisation hit John that Sol might have been flirting with him. It wasn’t until John had dropped the rat on a bench and made it all the way back home that he allowed himself to accept that he didn’t think he would mind if Sol had been.

[columbidaae]

locking self-aware conflicted homosexual john irving and self-fulfilled bohemian bisexual solomon tozer in one of those private karaoke booths you can rent for parties until yaoi happens

[froggerland]

RARE SOLVING APPEARANCE!!!!!!!

(Based on something i saw on pinterest but i cant find it for the life of me)

[copperphysics106]

Assorted Hodgsolving Hatecule memes me and @futuristicdoormats789 bc we refuse to be normal about them whatsoever. For context the dynamic is: (Future's words) "I AM ONE MAN ON MY HILL AND THE HILL IS CALLED 'TOZER/HODGSON VY FOR IRVINGS AFFECTION AND ITS DISASTEROUS IN EVERY FORM'"

[fitzjamesbulletwound]

boys who hug themselves to self soothe

[the-slow-but-make-it-fandom]

[gaylittlebillionaires]

[spirkkock]

[johnnyy-guitarr]

hi i hope you all like these wretched things i crafted with my own two hands

[futuristicdoormats789]

My beloved is mine, and I am his. | Song of Solomon

Inspired very loosely - and I mean loosely - of the King Solomon painting done by Gustave Dore, specifically Tozer's pose.

[luthanraels-bignaturals]

So there’s been a few terror polls about “which leuitenant is getting pregnant by mistake” and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I think it should be understood that John Irving is objectively the correct answer.

I can hear the naysayers already. Irving is a prude. Irving would have a melt-down if he ever held a guy’s hand. Irving thinks everyone should do watercolors instead of having gay sex. All of this is true. I’m not arguing that Irving isn’t the most repressed guy in the expedition. But there is no way this man has any sex-ed knowledge gay or otherwise. His understanding of sex is that there is two kinds: good and not good. Obviously not good sex (premarital, gay, kinky) is ungodly and unloving because anyone who offers is doing so to turn good christians into satan worshipping onanists. And it probably would feel bad too. Look me in the eyes and tell me this man knows about prep. Look me in the eyes and tell me this man knows about protection or birth control. His understanding of sex comes from the bible and the five second glimpse he gets of hickey and gibson.

In conclusion, Irving has no understanding of safe sex. So even though other men on the boats may be having sex more often, they know how to use protection. Irving breaks once and gets instantly knocked up. Plus if he stops to think about protection birth control stuff like that he’ll have to think about what he’s doing and then he’ll have an astronomical meltdown. Also I think every other officer would be too busy getting Irving pregnant to get pregnant themselves

Thanks for watching my video, if you like my content please consider subscribing and hitting that like button. It really means a lot to me and supports my channel. I’d like to say thank you again to Raid Shadow Legends for sponse

[columbidaae]

Hey. Irving who craves physical intimacy but sometimes actually having sex is a bit too much so instead they just lay in bed together in various states of undress and Tozer gently plays his fingers over the scars on John’s chest and eventually falls asleep with his head in the crook of John’s neck and John is just overwhelmed with how much he loves him and takes a moment to thank God for them both surviving the Arctic and bringing them together send tweet

[schestokryl]

solving yuri 🎀

[goddisposez]

solomon shitpost indulgence