#solid ass group fr.

[hopeworth]

not even that big of a TXT fan but i always have to admit that they do kpop so good. some groups try to break out of the mould but TXT have taken kpop by the throat and made it their bitch fr. anyways this is just to say that deja vu is a banger.

[diorsluv]

feather , part 25

“ not caring where you are tonight ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

lhughes_06

liked by yourusername, trevorzegras, rutgermcgroarty, and 99,376 others

lhughes_06 i got you blocked after this, an afterthought ��

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

markestapa YOU BLOCKED OUR SWEET AMAZING LIL DRIZZY??

→ lhughes_06 NO DUMBASS

→ markestapa HUH??

→ markestapa OHHHHHHH

→ lhughes_06 🙄🙄

yourusername hey that’s me!

→ lhughes_06 it’s you ☺️

yourusername also THE SABRINA CARPENTER REFERENCE??? i’ve taught you well

→ lhughes_06 yes you have

username24 the way luke is so blatantly professing his love

username48 i was a dryshughes supporter from the start 💪💪

trevorzegras atta boy

liked by lhughes_06

_quinnhughes fucking finally

→ lhughes_06 be quiet

dylanduke25 only took you 100,000,000, years

→ lhughes_06 did not

→ dylanduke25 did too

→ lhughes_06 liar

→ dylanduke25 truther

username38 oh so is that other girl finally gone

username79 y’all when i tell you i have the DRAMA

→ username64 don’t be shy share with the class

→ username79 apparently luke blocked her months ago but she keeps harassing the drysdales 🤷‍♀️

→ username22 the attention seeking is crazy ig

rutgermcgroarty fruity ass caption

→ lhughes_06 fuck off 🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty 🍏🍎🍐🍉🍇🍊🍓🍋🫐

mackie.samo did my pep talks finally get to you

→ lhughes_06 barely even pep talks but whatever helps you sleep at night

edwards.73 did bro finally do what i think he did

→ markestapa just found out he didn’t what a pussy

→ lhughes_06 I WILL I WILL just not rn 😔

jackhughes moosey grew some balls did he?

→ lhughes_06 stfu im telling on u

→ jackhughes was gonna say i’m proud but ig not

username40 other girl is out of the picture now

→ username59 she was never in the picture sweetie

username37 wait so was luke fr just fucking around w miss girl

→ username8 they probably jus hung out a few times but i don’t think they went that far

→ username13 but the smoochie smoochie posts????

→ username29 we’re all too deep in the dryshughes lore

jamie.drysdale yeah you better have blocked her

liked by lhughes_06

→ username66 protective jamie 🥹🥹

_alexturcotte AYEEE LUKEY BOY

adamfantilli YO????

username14 ITS FINALLY HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM

yourusername

liked by colecaufield, luca.fantilli, edwards.73, and 94,018 others

yourusername ridin in a getaway car 🚇

view all comments

trevorzegras is that not a fucking subway emoji in the caption of a post quoting our lord and savior taylor swift except the post is also in a FUCKING SUBWAY STATION

→ yourusername did not think this would evoke so much emotion from you trev

→ trevorzegras you used getaway car but it’s practically a damn train.

→ yourusername IM SORRYYY

→ jackhughes the paragraph…

luca.fantilli the yankees hat.

→ yourusername what r u gonna do abt it 🤨

→ luca.fantilli dont play w me 😒😒😒

_quinnhughes is that where u two went

→ username76 “u two” WHO

→ colecaufield was it a date 😱

→ yourusername it was not a date 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

username71 oh my god is this what love feels like

→ username43 ask luke he can confirm (probably)

username9 body goals ahhhhh

markestapa stay safe on subways bc there’s a criminal minds episode where someone got killed in a subway station

→ yourusername bro that was like season 3??? it literally came out when we were KIDS

→ markestapa IT WAS A TERRORIST GROUP

→ yourusername oh my god you’re insane

→ markestapa if you die in a subway station just know i was right

jamie.drysdale who bought that drink bc ik it wasn’t u

→ yourusername how do u know

→ jamie.drysdale i can still see your credit card history

→ yourusername STOP.

→ lhughes_06 i bought it

→ jamie.drysdale such a gentleman lukey boy

rutgermcgroarty i do not understand your obsession with green-colored drinks

→ yourusername this is a judgement free zone

→ rutgermcgroarty ✌️🤙✊

lhughes_06 solid pics

→ yourusername appreciate the compliment that was definitely meant for me

→ lhughes_06 but i mean that photographer just seems to be super talented

→ yourusername mhm!

→ lhughes_06 and super cute too

→ yourusername oh!! well!!!

→ lhughes_06 just overall a great person

→ yourusername ofc ofc!!!!

→ markestapa goddamn just say you’re fucking

username26 mother is mothering

username19 WHERE IS THE TOTE BAG FROMMM

username57 the outfit is so good!!

username65 i swear luke is putting his heart out on the line ready to risk it ALL

→ username31 i meannn i would do it too

edwards.73 you’re either real fuckin oblivious or real fuckin evil

→ yourusername maybe a little bit of both 🤫

dylanduke25 i swear to god if neither of you make a move i will do it for you

→ yourusername aw you’re no fun duker

→ dylanduke25 you’re killing me here

_alexturcotte i’m so damn invested in this relationship i’ve spent literal dollars on you two

→ yourusername LMAOOO

→ yourusername it’s okay tho ur rich

→ _alexturcotte is that all u see me as 😐

→ yourusername my rich, loving, amazing, kind, generous, honorary brother 🤗🤗

→ _alexturcotte there we go

→ jamie.drysdale i feel like i’m being disowned and replaced here 😕

next chapter notes ) i’m really milking it here w the luke being a simp but it’s okay because we love that do we not?? BUT THEY’RE NOT DATING YET and that last jamie reply.. i just realized that’s basically what just happened with the trade but uh! it’s okay bc he’s happy fairly short chap but i hope you enjoy it all the same

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys@loveforaugust

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 10 (Part 2 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); angst; depression; feelings of stress and anxiety; feelings of sadness; abandonment issues; allusions to a dark, forgotten childhood; arguing; heart issues addressed (POTs); use of heart monitors; revisited, vivid memories of sex; jealousy; body changes as a result of pregnancy; suuuuper sore boobs; negative self-talk (stretch marks specifically); talk of baby + pregnancy; pregnancy hormones...things get heatedddd; reader and jake are both stubborn + turned on, but can't be together and it's TOUGH; cheating; heavy petting; rubbing of bodies against each other (see: dry humping); hands on boobs oopsies (as usual, PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 16.7k+

a/n: hi babes… <3 this is my personal favorite part out of the two… so, let me know how you feel… ;) love u all. busy day! i'm so sorry it's late. plz know i love you all sm <3

s/o to @joshym who is my favorite and the most wonderful encourager and sister in the entire universe. i love you more than i can say. you make life sunny and everything better <3

also, @alwaysonthemend, i love you so incredibly much and i’m so grateful for you and your unwavering support and texts that never fail to make my day <3

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤 (fr, i listen to it nonstop when i write this.... all of the songs are pertinent to the story and aid in telling it - either already or eventually.)

Covet Masterlist

-🌼🌼🌼-

“The covetous man pines in plenty, like Tantalus up to the chin in water, and yet thirsty.”

-Thomas Adams

-🌼🌼🌼-

November 25, 2022

Friendsgiving. A standing, solid tradition since the first Thanksgiving you’d spent as Josh’s friend. It had always been you, Elsie, Josh, Sam, and Daniel.

But this year, you’d be entertaining new people. One you were incredibly grateful for. Jake. And one you weren’t even slightly sure about.

Maya.

She was the last person you wanted to celebrate a holiday all about Thankfulness with. But, you had to. Stupid ass shit that you couldn’t control, so you had to just pretend to be fine with it. 

To your benefit, you had a distraction – a fantastic, welcome one in Elsie. Elsie and a morning of grocery shopping.

For Friendsgiving, in a group chat between you two and the rest of the boys, Elsie had insisted that you two be in charge of pies. So, you two were currently wandering the aisles of Walmart with Pinterest up, recipes open to several flavors of pies that Elsie had decided the two of you should make.

And the way to make homemade crust since she refused to use store bought. 

“It will be a fun thing to try,” she’d sworn, aggressively pinning a couple to your shared board.

You were the one in charge of grabbing things off the shelves, while she pushed the cart and bossed at you what to grab for each recipe. The makings for apple pie and pumpkin pie already rumbled around in the cart. So, now you were on to the final pies and their ingredients. The few cans of cherry pie filling had just landed in the cart when Elsie decided to confront you about Jake. 

“What’s going on between you and Lover Boy?” She asked, trying to sound absentminded in her question, but you knew she was not thinking of it randomly. She’d most definitely waited for a moment to hit you with the question when you were forced to respond. 

And, you were. You were currently completely stranded at a Walmart with only her and one car to get you back to the apartment. There was no escaping the question. So, you decided to do what you could and only answer halfway.

“Well, he knows,” you started, grabbing a bag of sugar off the shelf, avoiding her eyes. “And things are going good.”

“What a vague response,” she hummed. “Why don’t you grab a couple cans of blueberry filling and hit me with full honesty.”

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the can and turned to face her. A blush painted your cheeks that you couldn’t avoid. “I am being honest. He knows and things are good.”

“Yeah, that answer works for a random Joe, but not your sister. I’m not here for the fucking cliff notes.”

“I don’t care what you’re ‘here for’, Elsie,” you grumbled, turning to walk ahead of her toward the flour. “And why didn’t you ask me this yesterday when we had the entire day at Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“It didn’t really feel like the right time to ask,” she defended, pointing to a particular bag of flour, which you grabbed and put in the cart. “I also didn’t want to stop talking about the ridiculous fangirl experience because that shit was hilarious,” she paused, gasping. “Oh! Speaking of fangirls and the other guys. . . When are you planning on telling Josh? I'm dying to start planning a baby shower and I want him to help me.”

“He didn’t tell you that I told him before my first–?”

“You told him?!” She asked, astonished. The cart squeaked to a halt behind you. 

Turning around with a laugh ready at your lips, you gawked at her. “What is wrong with you, Dramatic Ass?”

“Um,” she sharply started, hand on a hip. “My sister and my boyfriend are keeping me in the dark, that’s what’s wrong.”

“Josh is busy and I’m busy,” you responded slowly. “We’re not 'keeping you in the dark'. Also, he just found out a few weeks ago. It’s not like he’s known for–.”

“A few weeks?!”

You swiveled fully around to face her completely. “Els. Josh has never been one to talk about other people and their lives to shoot the breeze. You know this. He wasn’t going to bring it up if it didn’t concern him.”

“Well, it does. It concerns both of us. Aunt and uncle? Hello?”

“It’s also just a giant ass thing that I’m sure he’s still processing,” you argued. “Give him a fucking break.”

“I’m bringing this up to him,” she stubbornly stated, huffing and everything. “I’m going to make him own up to not telling me he knew.”

“You knew and didn’t tell him,” you reminded her. 

“That’s different; you didn’t want me to tell him.”

“And what if he thought I didn’t want you guys talking about it at all? He’s very sensitive to stuff of that nature.”

“I don’t know. I’m still asking him,” she firmly stated, continuing to push the cart forward, effectively ending the conversation with her tone. 

And, much to your joy, dropping the other part of the conversation as she went on a sassy rant about something Josh had done recently that pissed her off. 

It lasted all the way home and you were damn happy. . .

Although, you did have to work a little magic to get her to stop being such an over-thinker and asshole when it came to Josh. You had to give a plentiful amount of examples as to how he was all of these amazing things wrapped in one and not the person her mind was trying to convince her that he was. 

She had trauma and abandonment issues, too. . . she just didn't always show them like you.

But. . . it made you pause. Made you think of yourself and Jake. . . . your mind went to the clouds as you thought of your feelings towards him. You were still like this as you helped her carry in groceries, and only snapped out of it when she started bossing you again. Except this time, she was annoyingly giving you jobs around the kitchen to prepare the blessed pies.

-🌼🌼🌼-  

Jake had been the main chef for Friendsgiving.

All day, the apartment smelled heavenly thanks to his wondrous cooking. He'd started way early in the morning, and had awoken you with the incredible smells. . . but you had forced yourself to lay in bed rather than going about your morning routine. Truthfully, you really hadn't had to force yourself too much as you heard Maya's voice make unwelcome waves around the apartment through your door. You weren't in the mood for any of it this morning considering last night. Last night, when you'd seen him and Maya. . . . . Yeah, you'd still been in the process of blocking that the fuck out.

So, you'd only caught a little glimpse of him buzzing around the kitchen before Elsie and Josh had shown up. At which point, Elsie had been ready to hit Wally World.

But, now that you were back, you'd noticed that he'd taken charge of a few very important tasks. He'd roasted a giant turkey in the oven, made rolls and mashed potatoes from scratch, and a delicious gravy to accompany all of his dishes. Josh had been in charge of casseroles, and the other two hooligan men had been in charge of drinks and salad (a big bag of lettuce from Walmart with a bottle of Ranch and a plastic container of cherry tomatoes). 

Maya had been in charge of nothing, claiming via Jake that she would be helping him. But all day long, she’d just sat around, looking way too stupidly pretty, and watched him cook. Lazy ass. 

While you and Elsie slaved away at dessert, thankfully Jake was done with his preparations (save for the turkey that still cooked and created the most appetizing aroma). Meaning that Maya had followed him and wasn’t looming in the background as you made pie.

Which was good because you really did not need her around you any more than she had to be.

As you made pie after pie and sat them on top of the oven to go in once the turkey came out, you filled Elsie in on everything else that had taken place in your life as of late. Told her about the emergency room visit and everything you’d found out at the E.R.; how you’d come up with a solid morning routine to attempt a healthier pregnancy; and any intricate therapy detail that came to mind. 

The boys had been sitting in the living room, playing music on a few guitars (Josh, filling up the apartment with old Elvis tunes). Then, opting to talk for the majority of the time.

So, you'd been able to gain precious time with your sister. She had encouraged you and supported you just like you knew she would. She’d also gotten onto you for not taking better care of yourself and not taking prenatal vitamins sooner.

“You fucking idiot,” she laughed, bumping your shoulder with hers as she passed you in the kitchen with the last pie. “No, but really. I’m sorry that you’d been so stressed and overwhelmed to the point of forgetting to do shit like that. I wish I’d lived closer to you for the beginning of it all.”

Your ears perked up at that. “Yeah. . . Me too,” you said slyly, considering options as they filtered through your head. “What would it take for you to move closer? I don’t want to be selfish, I just don’t want to do this without you.” 

But, after the words came out  of your mouth, you heard just how selfish they sounded. Though, thinking about her being with you for the baby had been something at the back of your mind that you’d been contemplating for weeks. It didn’t mean you needed to drop that fucking bomb on her though. . . The baby wasn’t her thoughtless decision that she needed to change her life for. . . It wasn’t fair to her. 

“I’m sorry, Els,” you slapped a hand to your forehead, shutting your eyes to avoid any further self-induced embarrassment. “I didn’t even think about that before it slipped out. You don’t have to change any—.”

“Well,” she started, coming close to you and removing your hand from your head. As she held your hand in hers, she continued speaking. You opened your eyes to her. “That was actually my thing that I was waiting to tell you. . .,” she paused, trailing off. A slow smile lit up her features as her eyes brightened. “I put in a request for an office job attached to the company I work through. An office job for a branch of the company - based here in New York. . . Told them I didn’t want to travel any longer and that I’d appreciate something steadier as life changes. . .”

Your ears filled with excited static. “What?!” You gasped, eyes lifting with hope. “What did they say?!” 

“Well, a few people talked to a few people, and the director of the program I’m in gave his permission and then recommendation to that part of the company,” she rushed out. “So, in a few months, I’ll finish out my contract for this job and be living here full time for the new one.”

There was almost no time between the moment she’d said the words and the moment you’d leapt from your spot in the kitchen to give her the tightest hug you could muster. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

She looked fucking gorgeous today. Everyday, in fact. But for the past couple of days, all I could think about was how thankful I was to have her in my life. Tis the season. No matter what, I was very thankful for her. . . For so many reasons. 

Though, the most prominent reason in my mind at the moment was how thankful I was to her for carrying our baby. So selfless and motherly and lovely. . .

So, I couldn’t help stealing repeated glances at her. I just hoped I wasn’t being too obvious. She was always beautiful, stunning—actual perfection walking—but the fact that our baby was in her belly just made matters much worse for me. She glowed in a way that she never had before. . . Drew my eye to her in a way that couldn’t be stopped.

It was wrong for me to look at her like this. I was in a serious relationship with someone else. . . I definitely shouldn’t have been eyeing her the way I was through the open layout, into the kitchen from my spot in the armchair. And especially not while I had my arm wrapped around my extremely hot girlfriend, and her nice fuckin' ass sitting halfway on my lap.

And, really. . . y/n had effectively broken—no, shattered—my heart all of those months ago in the kitchen. She shouldn't have drawn my eye to her the way she did after what she'd said. But, I really couldn't hold that against her any longer. It didn't matter as much as it once had. . . not anymore.

But, we weren’t meant to be. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted us to be. . . It seemed too difficult for the two of us to manage. And, I had Maya. . . Mayamayamaya.

I would've been lying, though, if I said she wasn’t the most incredibly created human being. She was sculpted by the gods. . . Meticulously made to ruin me. When she really shouldn't. Fuck.

And now that she held my baby. . . The way her tummy rounded out more than usual, under her sweater—that shit left me completely speechless.

The way she held pregnancy was unparalleled to every other woman that had ever done it before. She was ethereal. And as great as Maya's ass was, there was truly no comparing it to the way y/n's ass looked in those leggings I’d seen her wear no less than a million times before. . . And just like every time before, I wanted to walk up behind her and feel the curve of it. Rip them the fuck down and bend her - dammit. I was so fuckin’ weak for her.

But anytime I felt Maya move against my arm, or lap, or smelled her perfume wave off of her with an action, I was reminded of how completely wrong it was for me to be checking y/n out. It was wrong how I couldn’t get her out of my head—all the time, she was there. Even in the most intimate moments with Maya, she kept creeping the fuck into my thoughts. 

But, truly, it just happened. Couldn't control it.

And, even when I got up to check on the turkey once more, I couldn’t help my reaction when I passed her. When I'd accidentally brushed past her on her way out, the way my heart pounded in my chest as our bodies touched for a millisecond. She smelled so sweet—just like a damned sugar cookie. And the way she’d passed so delicately against me. Her top half had pressed against me for a stolen moment in time, her eyes catching mine as her precious bump skimmed my waist.

And her breasts. Felt those, too.

My chest tightened and my dick twitched—it was almost too much. The air was stolen from my lungs. 

We were so close for those few seconds.

“Sorry,” she hushed, her eyes flicking up to look at me. A small smile was sitting on her lips, more out of embarrassment than anything. Her cheeks were the prettiest pink under my gaze.

But she wasn’t the one to be embarrassed. I was the only one who should have been embarrassed — for how I was instantly a teenage boy again, just because of a little brush from her body. 

“Don’t be,” I mouthed, like we were sharing a secret. My lips lifted to reassure her and my eyes lit up with an emotion I couldn’t explain if I tried. 

Her face softened at my expression, and then she was gone. 

And once I’d gotten the turkey out of the oven, I was mostly back to normal. I’d forced myself to think about sad images of roadkill enough to ruin the mood I’d set in my head. 

After breathing a few deep breaths, I called out that dinner was ready and all I could do was hope for the best for the rest of the day. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

Thanksgiving carried on from when lunch started at two in the afternoon, to the evening, and saw your friend group (and Maya) sitting around the living room.

You were all bouncing back and forth with the Roku remote. Rotating around your semi-circle, every person took a turn choosing a YouTube video to cast.

It had turned into a sort of game of who could play a song that meant something to someone else in the room. Jake had just had the remote, right before Elsie, and had played a song for Josh. It had been some song from Seussical The Musical, to which Josh had sung along to every word. He’d even gone so far as to get up to do a little performance of the song. 

“That’s exactly how it went,” Josh had chuckled heartily, the sound starting deep and lilting at the end. He dropped his arms from an obviously rehearsed dance routine, the song ending on a final high note. “I swear to God.”

“Oh, Joshua,” Sam’s eyes bugged as he looked at Jake with a laugh, who shared the moment of humor with him. “Trust me. We remember. Every single high school theatre production,” Sammy shook, as if reliving a traumatic memory. "All of it is seared into my poor, poor brain."

"Samuel, shut the fuck-," Josh started, before getting interrupted by his twin.

“Day in and day fucking out, Josh. That’s how often we heard those songs at home— for the months leading up to that damn musical,” Jake raised a thick brow. It made your tummy do somersaults - he was so handsome. “And I was lucky enough to hear it from backstage as crew. . . Every single rehearsal.”

“Yeah, you really fucking hated those songs,” Josh noted with a bubbling laugh, sitting back down next to Elsie, his arm falling around her shoulders. “Why would you make yourself suffer through that again?”

“Just playing the game,” Jake shrugged, rolling his eyes with a smile. He handed the remote over to Elsie, who sat on the couch, next to where he sat on the floor, in front of the couch. “But goddamn if I don’t ever hear it again, it will still be too soon.”

Sam agreed with a toast, raising his beer bottle as Jake lifted his. They nodded at each other from across the room. And you stared on, getting distracted by the woman who sat on the couch, criss-cross-applesauce, behind him, braiding his hair. 

Fuck that bitch, you thought hotly— ridiculously.

Admittedly, it took too far too long to look away from her pop-up salon. But you eventually did, and watched the screen as Elsie started typing something into the search bar. 

You knew better than to feel jealous of her. But, you couldn’t help eyeing her from your place, as you snuggled into the armchair with your favorite fluffy blanket covering you. Just wanted to let the chair swallow you, so you nestled deeper and closed your eyes to imagine it.

“This is one of y/n’s favorites,” Elsie said, the pre-video ad starting on the television. “The first time she watched this, her life changed. The perfect mix of her love for classic rock and soul music.”

Instantly, you knew exactly which song she was talking about. And when the video started, your heart expanded in your chest, making everything feel fuzzy and light. Everything felt okay. 

Change the World. . . . the Unplugged version. Eric Clapton and Babyface. . . . so many memories.

“This is our childhood,” you said, voice thick with emotion. The amount of tears you cried on a weekly basis was nothing short of humiliating. The baby hormones were vicious in their attack.

“I can’t tell you how many times we heard this as kids,” Elsie affirmed, looking over at Josh. 

“Grandpa is a strangely huge fan of Babyface,” you giggled, throat loosening a little as the laughter bubbled from your chest. “This Unplugged vinyl played on a loop for a period of time.”

“It was that year we bought it for him for Christmas,” Elsie added, agreeing. She was watching the screen with tears in her eyes, too. “But you ended up loving it so much,” she looked over to where you sat. “That the next Christmas you got your own vinyl of it. From yours truly. You're welcome." She winked, blowing a little kiss your way.

“I do take partial blame for the constant looping on the living room record player,” you smiled, winking at her. 

She winked back. “Yeah, you and Grandpa had equal hand in his Unplugged record warping on this song.”

You grinned, sticking your tongue out at her as she did the same. When Eric Clapton started singing, you gave the screen your full attention. The sound of this song only brought back the happiest memories. Even before hearing Babyface’s cover, it was a family favorite. It was a song that made you feel whole. 

It was the one song your Grandpa loved to sing to you. . . Before this version had ever come to your family’s attention. He'd sing it in those soft moments that felt like glowing rays of sun hitting your skin on a hazy summer evening.

But when your Grandpa had heard the Unplugged cover on the radio, the Earth had shifted for him. . . And even though it didn’t top your Grandpa singing it, the cover featuring Clapton held a special place in your heart with how often you’d heard it bouncing off the walls of the living room. It played so often that you associated it with some of your best days. . .

You'd still been innocent enough, still, to enjoy the world through a rose-tinted lens. And, far enough away from the trauma with your Mom that life had felt new. Ironically, the cover of the song had come around when your world was finally feeling like it had changed. It had been an intricately timed re-release of the lullaby your Grandfather had once poured over you as you’d drift to sleep on both restful and restless nights. The song felt safe – sort of like your Grandmother’s cooking felt for you. 

“You know, it’s funny,” Josh’s voice cut through your drifting thoughts. You kept watching the two men on screen, but tuned in to your best friend’s dialogue. “Jake loved this version, too. When YouTube came around, he would watch this version back to back, trying to memorize the way Babyface and Eric complimented each other on their guitars. He always wanted–.”

“To play both parts and record them on top of each other," Jake finished, watching the screen intently. You’d let your eyes wander from the screen momentarily to see his expression after hearing Josh’s story. He still looked utterly invested; just like you imagined he had looked as a kid re-watching it over and over again on YouTube. “It’s not really an intricate piece. . . I just found it at a time when I wanted to try everything I could on guitar. I knew how to play better than most 14 year olds, yes, but I still didn’t know half as much as I do now,” he explained, never looking away from the musicians. 

You saw movement at his waist, and when you looked down to observe, he seemed to be playing a guitar part in the air. And you knew if he picked up the instrument right now, he’d match one of the men in time. Whichever one he was currently studying - you couldn’t tell. 

“I don’t know why I never recorded myself playing both parts. Synced them over each other,” Jake mused, still playing in the air. “I used Garage Band like it was an addictive fucking drug–.”

“You can say that again,” Sam inserted, acting annoyed but still grinning so wide all the same. 

“But I just forgot about it, I guess,” the older, long-haired brother continued, as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “I’m getting the urge to do it again now – it’s coming back strong,” he chuckled, looking down at his fingers with a brow raised–just like he’d do if he was actually playing. 

It was fucking hot to watch him play so intently with nothing there to support him. Only his mind, full of the memorized chords from years ago. And to a song that meant so much to you. 

“I’m sure the guys at the studio would let you do it with their recording equipment,” Danny offered, also watching the famed musicians with intrigue, glancing over at Jake. 

Jake sucked in a breath, dropping his air guitar before leaning back against Maya, closing his eyes and sighing with one particular scratch of her nails against his scalp as she tugged out the french braid to start another.

Gag. You could vomit at the sight of their mushy-gushy behavior.

Your hand floated to your stomach to remind yourself of one thing you had that she didn’t. 

“Nah,” Jake sighed, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling. “I feel like it has to be done without the expensive stuff. It has to be recorded in a way that baby Jake would have recorded it. . . I just–,” He wrinkled a brow, releasing a grumble under his breath.

There was something he was concerned about. . .

And, as he sat back up to watch the men finish out the song, Maya made a little huffing noise, crossing her arms over her impressive chest. But, in all of her perfection, she covered the noise with a small smile and a shake of her head. Just seemed to be joking with her little bratty act.

Oh, how cute and funny.

She’d looked over at Sammy, who’d made a little sound at Jake’s words. You followed the line of sight.

“What’s the deal, brother?” Sammy questioned, leaning forward to emphasize his care for Jake. 

“I just don’t have the time to do a little side project like that–can’t even think about prioritizing it,” he replied, combing a hand through his hair, untangling anything that resembled a braid. Maya did outwardly pout at that. She whined his name and said something about her hard work. You couldn’t help the tiny smirk that lifted your lips at the scene. You tried your best to hide it, and just focused on the screen again. “And even calling it a project sounds silly with everything else going on in life right now.”

Before you could feel too guilty for the situation under your palm that added to everything going on in his life, Josh spoke up with a giant gasp.  

“Baby Jake!” The curly-headed twin exclaimed. You all looked in his direction, equally confused with knitted brows. “That’s just it; record it like you would have back then with the intention that it’s for your baby. Something fun to do. But. . . You’ll prioritize the time if it’s for the baby. If you look at it that way, it won’t seem silly at all," he wiped his palms, arm back over Elsie as he finished with jazz hands. "Ta-da!"

As the song concluded and the next ad started (an ad for baby diapers, of all things), Maya was urgently pushing Jake out of the way, claiming she needed to pee. And as she passed between your line of sight and Jake’s, you realized you were zoning out on him when your eyes met his, just as she rounded the couch. 

He gave you a small smile, his eyes staying on yours, floating down to where your belly hid under your blanket, and then back to your face when he responded to Josh’s idea. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, Josh,” he said, gaze never once leaving yours. 

The fire that rose from the pit of your tummy, all the way to your cheeks was not a new feeling with Jake, but for some reason. . . this time, it felt unlike any time ever before. 

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Everyone had stayed, having decided to lounge on couches for the night to sleep. They were all in equally deep slumbers (save for Maya, most likely still completely awake and waiting for Jake in his bed). 

You’d all stayed up until the wee hours of the morning–much later than you had in a long time. The only way you’d been able to make it, the tiny cat naps you’d dozed in and out of. As you’d done that, everyone else had continued on with their little YouTube game. 

Now, here you were, completely exhausted, practically dragging yourself to bed, ready to sleep. Just barely managed to wash your face before Jake had hopped into the bathroom, right after you, to brush his teeth.

But before you could make it inside your room, he passed by behind you. You weren’t even looking. You’d just smelled his heavenly cologne, a favorite scent of yours (and the baby’s, apparently) flood the space around you. You knew he wasn’t actually drenched in the smell of sandalwood and vanilla, but your baby-powered-super-senses could’ve convinced you otherwise. He smelled delicious and you could easily drown in him. 

Though, instead of focusing on that, you let yourself act on something that was threatening to leave your lips. No matter how hard you tried to stop it, your tired brain wouldn’t let the words halt. 

“Please don’t stop pursuing your dream or any other thing just because of everything that’s happening with me and the baby,” you rushed out, peeking up through your lashes for a moment before locking eyes with your hand on the knob of your door. “I don’t want you to ever feel like this is taking up too much space in your life or causing any unnecessary stress. You can back out whenever you want if you feel like that’s what you need and I won’t be upset with you for—.”

“No,” Jake responded, soft and stern, moving to stand in front of you. You had no choice but to look up at him, he was standing so close to you. His eyes bore into yours. “I’m not going to back out. I couldn’t do that–wouldn’t ever do that. I want this. I promise. It’s everything else, I think, that’s stressful. The baby is something I get to look forward to,” he reassured, his voice wavering just enough to worry you. 

But you didn’t let it get to you. Tiredness prevailed above any doubtful emotion you could’ve mustered. You could only sleepily nod your head at his words. 

“The baby inspires me even more to make it all happen,” he rasped in a velvety tone, assuring you. After, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. Your sleepy eyes slowly followed the motion. You wished it was you. “Everything else is still exciting, too. . . But it’s a lot and it gets me thinking about how different everything is about to be. It’s scary. But– it’s. . . the baby makes it all seem brighter. Better. I’m not just doing it for me anymore. Not even for my brothers. It’s for my baby,” his full lips spread into a loose, close-mouthed grin. “Our baby.”

Your tummy flip-flopped and all you wanted to do at that moment was kiss him. You felt the slightest inkling that he wanted the same, with the way he’d brought his body in front of you, closer than he needed to. But. . . you blamed it all on tiredness. There was no way you could trust yourself to make actual, coherent assumptions. You were getting carried away, and even though you wondered of the possibility that he could want it, you cut off the idea. 

Tired or not, you knew one thing. He didn’t want you. He had a girlfriend. A real relationship with a woman much more beautiful than you. So, before you could get trapped in his big, beautiful brown eyes any longer, you decided to bid him goodnight. 

Though, just as you’d opened your door to go into your room, he stopped you. “Hey, real quick,” he cleared his throat. You looked up at him, confused at the sudden stop. “Maya–um,” he shook his head, brows furrowed as he messed with his bottom lip. “She told me that she wanted me to help however I possibly could. She wants me to be attentive and helpful in any way I can be.” 

He was right there - a step away. His breath, fanning over your face. You could smell the mint of his toothpaste. “Obviously with limits,” his voice lowered a bit as his eyes peered down at you. 

What was that supposed to mean? Surely he didn’t mean. . . But, you responded the only way you could think to.

“Obviously. . .,” you trailed off, raising a brow out of complete confusion for the conversation’s direction. “I wouldn’t want you to cross any sort of boundary. You’re in a relationship with her. Not me.” 

“Yeah. She’s my girlfriend,” he replied, voice rasping on a hitched breath. His body felt as though it was wrapped around yours in an act of protection. He’d brought his hand up, above your heads, as his body curved in towards you. After a pause, he continued. “But I don’t want to make any boundaries with the baby ever. Not at all. I want to be present. From now until always.” 

Suddenly, the moment was gone for you. There was no way he’d ever meant it as anything more. All he’d meant was you needed to remember there were boundaries. This was all about the baby. It was selfish to ever think any different. 

You knew better than to believe any different than that. Your thoughts got out of hand so damn easily these days. Why did you let them wander so far when you fucking knew better?

You backed up, your back touching the doorframe behind you. He scrunched his brows, but you weren’t sure why he was acting confused. It was late. You were definitely imagining things. He was just tired, too. . . that was all. 

“So. . .,” he cleared his throat. “Just let me know however I can help with the baby. Please.” 

“Okay,” you whispered with a quiet nod of your head.

“Okay,” he muttered with a gentle, distant grin. He nodded his head as well. And right before he opened the door to his room, his words barely touched the air as he told you goodnight. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

November 28, 2022

Covid. Gia had Covid.

Your heart broke for her having to deal with that absolutely terrible illness. And your nerves were climbing up the wall at not being able to see her. She wasn’t so bad that you couldn’t email her if you had questions or needed advice. But, you also knew better than to bother someone who was sick with something like Covid. 

So, you were spending the time that you would have been gearing up to go to Gia’s office, on this chilly autumn day, pacing back and forth in your living room. Cuticles thin from chewing and perspiration accumulated at your hairline and under your arms, you weren’t sure what to do. 

The idea of losing time on healing before the baby arrived was stressful to say the very least. You didn’t want to be any less of a mother than your baby deserved. He or she deserved a mentally stable mom. . . and in order to get there, you required several hours on Gia’s couch. 

All that could wave through your one-track mind was how terrible you felt for being so stressed about your healing while Gia was so sick. She was the one who needed to get healthy sooner rather than later.

You tried to remember the words Gia had put at the tail end of the email she had sent. She’d put in a few words that reminded you how well she knew you.

Don’t stress too much about the session being cancelled. :) Things happen and we have plenty of time, y/n.

Those words, typed specifically to assure you. Except, you’d worked yourself up too much for it to work very well after you’d read the title line of her email. Just a few, simple words: Out Sick – Sorry!

If even Gia’s words weren’t helping to calm your nerves, you weren’t sure how you were going to make it through to the next appointment.

After an hour of feeling unsure about literally everything, you decided the only way you were going to make it was by doing some other form of self care. And the first thing that came to your mind was food. Food always sounded good these days (nausea taking a backseat thanks to your meds and second trimester), and it would help you feel better while also supporting the baby’s health in the womb.

But it took you no time to get sad because you didn’t know what kind of food you wanted. . .

You’d resolved to just not being able to win at life for the day when you heard the front door jingle on the other side with the sound of a key unlocking. 

Jake was home. Fuck. He was home to take you to therapy and you hadn’t even thought to text him and tell him– shit. Instead of doing what he would have rather been doing, he’d made a useless trip home. 

It didn’t take him long at all to notice you sulking next to the window, face-palming next to the it, where you’d been people watching minutes ago, from your vantage point a few stories up. 

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, concerned, as he came right up beside you. “What’s going on?”

Whenever you looked up from having your eyes pressed into your hand, you refocused your eyes on his worried ones. “I don’t have counseling today,” you sullenly stated. And rather than going into any more details, you just apologized. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. There was no point in you coming home.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he calmly reassured. Again, you found his line of sight. His eyes felt like the sweetest reassurance. “You look like you could use someone to talk to.”

“Don’t waste your time on me,” you waved him off, scrunching your brows in an effort to seem nonchalant. “Just go back to doing what you were doing.”

“Well, I don’t have any plans because I was planning on being with you all night,” he laughed just a bit, under his breath. He flicked at the tip of his nose with a pointer finger. 

“All night?” Your stomach swirled at the thought, but you also felt incredible guilt at stealing that time from him. “God, I’m so sorry, Jake.”

“Please don’t be.” It was his turn to wave you off while shaking his head. He swept a hand through his hair. “I’m glad I was here– glad that I am here.”

You didn’t really know what to say. There wasn’t anything you two could do that wouldn’t get completely awkward after a while. Right? It was only four o’clock and he planned on spending the rest of the evening with you? What were you going to–?

“What do you want to do?” He asked, adjusting his jacket over his shoulders. “Wanna stay here? Order in? Go out and do something?”

Going out sounded like a date. . . and that felt wrong to do. But you also absolutely despised the idea of staying inside of the apartment to wallow for a second longer. . . . 

And it didn’t take you very long to realize you were still wanting food, hunger starting to feel like empty weight in your rounded tummy. 

“Food?”

“Food,” he agreed with a grin, winking at you before turning around, effectively making your brain turn to complete mush as you grabbed your own jacket and followed him out the door. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

The night was one of the best you’d had in a while.

He’d taken you to get Panera. Weird, yes, but their tomato basil soup had been calling your name the second it’d come to mind, as you'd searched places to eat.

And after sitting across from each other and just talking about his budding career and your classes, at Panera Bread. . . he'd told you he wanted to take you somewhere special. And, just as the sun was setting, you’d pulled up to a Barnes & Noble on your side of Brooklyn.

“Tell me why you’re stressed,” he’d said, putting his car in park.

A used, four-door (hard top, thankfully) Jeep. An all-black, mid-thousands model. After riding around in it all evening, you’d noticed it rode really well. It was just slightly strange that he had a car. He hadn’t had one when you’d been. . .

You cleared your throat, back on the subject at hand. “I never said I was stressed,” you stated, feeling ready to combat the truth. For whatever stupid reason. 

“You didn’t have to say it,” he breathed deeply through his nose, turning down the classic rock station he’d been playing. “I know you.”

Deciding it wasn’t worth a debate (because it was the truth–you had been very stressed earlier), you sighed; running a hand through your loose, natural waves, you responded. “Well, I’m just. . . this therapy is for me, yes, sure. But it really is mostly for the baby,” you explained. He sighed and you placed the hand you’d combed through your hair on your rounded bump, covered by your favorite oversized sweatshirt. “And having one session lost that I can’t be working on getting healed for the baby stressed me the fuck out. Still kind of is,” you admitted, glancing out of the small, rectangular windshield. “I just want to be completely better by the time the baby is here.”

“What are you most worried about?” He softly pondered, prompting you to talk through it. 

“That I’ll be just like my mom and project my hurt onto my baby,” you said wetly, swallowing the thickness in your throat. “I have so much in me that I don’t understand and it scares me how much I don’t remember – can’t remember,” you blinked to allow the new tear to make its way down your cheek before quickly reaching to wipe it away. “And it scares the shit out of me. It makes me. . . this terrible person to other people. I need to understand all of me, so my baby gets the best parts of me.” Sniffling, you swiped at your cheeks to rid yourself of the few more tears that cascaded down your cheeks. “And I don’t even remember the last time I saw those best parts. . . . so if I can’t see,” you huffed, your eyes finally piercing his, which stayed on you, intently listening “H-how is my child going to see them?”

Jake hummed, rubbed his chin. He never took his deep-set, amber-brown irises from yours. “It’s funny,” he started, a little grin ghosting over his lips as he spoke, “I’m seeing those best parts of you right now. I see those 'best parts of you' quite often.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you unzipped and reached into your belt bag for your heart monitor phone, willing it to not go off. There were butterflies wreaking havoc in your tummy. Naturally, your hands found their way to your tummy. His eyes followed that particular movement.

“How do you–?” You sniffed, shaking your head, zipping your bag back after a moment. “How do you see those things? I haven’t seen them since before you came into my li–- for a long time. And never consistently. . .,” you rambled, eyebrows drawn together, thumbs rubbing circles over the tight bump. “I’ve always been a bit of a wild card with my emotions. And finding out more of what I'd done from Elsie. . . I'm just way too similar to my–.”

“Do you think she was as self aware as you are?”

“I don’t know,” you answered, honestly. You would go with no, but. . . “I don’t know her well enough to make that judgment.”

“Okay,” he nodded, sticking his bottom lip out. A grin found its way to his plush lips, looking so kissable in the cramped space of the car. You leaned further into the door so as to not tempt yourself of anything. He continued, “Well, I would say she probably wasn’t. Or else you wouldn’t be wracked with so much significant trauma. She wouldn’t have left you hanging with so much to deal with. . . she would have been there for you. Helped you because she would've wanted to help herself. Would've been self aware enough for that,” he emphasized. “Parents say stupid shit. They do stupid shit. They’re humans. What matters is how they ultimately react.”

“But I react so brashly, Jake,” you argued, needing to be heard. “What happens if I do that to our–?”

“You won’t. I know you won’t,” he consoled you, his eyes so earnest as he conveyed the words. “You struggle with saying stupid shit. I do, too. So does everyone. You’ll figure out how to handle situations better, but it won’t be as hard as you think,” he shook his head, taking the keys from the ignition. “Not for you. You are determined. And you’re not this monster you’ve made up in your head.”

“Well, –,” you started, interrupting him, only to be cut off. 

“And your best parts are too many to name right now,” he surmised, winking at you once more. You rubbed wider, nervous circles on your tummy. “But one of my favorites is your determination to help others. The way you care for others. And if a mother has those qualities,” he pointed a finger at your tummy, and trailed the finger up to point at your face. “She will be one helluva fantastic mother. I’m glad our baby will have you.”

“Thank you,” you replied after the words had actually cracked the surface of your mental warfare. No voice appeared to combat what he’d said, so you let them sink, all the way down into your brain to truly consider for later. You didn’t fight them. . . which you viewed as progress. “Thank you so much. I–I needed to hear those things. And you were the perfect person to hear them from,” you blushed, crinkling your nose with the words. A smile settled on your lips, eyes drying. “Because I know you’re going to be the best daddy to this baby. I’ve known it for a long time. . . So, it means a lot that you think the same. Seriously.”

“Of course I think so,” he smiled, glancing once more at your tummy. “And the way you're always holding our baby. . . you love her so, so much. You’re already so intentional about loving her.”

“Her?” You asked aloud, wondering why he’d chosen that gender. Your hands held tighter to your tummy at the assumption. “Why girl?”

He hummed, looking out the windshield, past your head, with a wide grin. “It just feels right,” he concluded, before motioning at the windshield, nodding towards it. “Look.”

You did as he said, turning to see a mother and son (presumably) traipsing up to the store, just past the nearest cart corral. The little boy was skipping, and the mother was watching her like the entire world started and stopped with the child. The sky was bluer because he was around. You felt that. 

“The way you’re watching them says enough, honey,” he concurred. There was that nickname again. . . Honey. Your heart skipped a beat at the term. “I see it all over you. You’re going to mess up. Parents do. My parents did a lot and I still think they’ve been the best parents.” When he gave a small, breathy laugh, you looked his way. He rubbed a finger over his bottom lip. “But what good parents do after they mess up is– they have humility and apologize. They show integrity to their child. You do that. Already. For me.”

Sitting across from him in the still air of the Jeep, you let your eyes bounce back and forth between his. His smell, warm, sweet, and woodsy, was enveloping every sense of your body, in the taut air of the vehicle. His breathing laced with yours, your heaving chest kept up with the rhythm of his. He was steadier than you. . . he seemed fine. 

You felt anything but. Your emotions were going haywire at everything he’d just said. The man he was to you. . . he was too good to be true. 

But, instead of letting yourself get sad that he wasn't yours, you looked at the store behind you and cleared your throat. It opened up your mind and the air in the car. He blinked a few times, tilting his head slightly, watching you. 

“Wondering why we’re here?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I thought– let’s get out,” he said, pausing the conversation to unload from the Jeep. You followed his lead, taking the tall step as gracefully as you could to get down and out. The slip almost happened–but didn’t. Thank god. 

Joining him at the back of the car, you waited for him to lead the way and continue. You wrapped your jacket tighter around your body, over the sweatshirt. There was a bite in the air that hadn’t been there before. Jake tightened his jacket, too, tucking his hands in the pockets of it. “I brought us here because I knew you were stressed. I knew it probably had to do with the baby,” he started, looking down at you. You felt his stare, looking up to meet it. “So I thought maybe coming here to get some books to study and prepare would help you feel more at peace about whatever was on your mind,” he drew in a breath before blowing it out into the cold, dry air. “And now that I know it had to do with preparedness, this was kind of–.”

“Perfect,” you finished, nudging him with your shoulder. 

He looked down for a second, his eyes read an unknown emotion before he kept on. “I know you probably have a lot of books already, but–.”

“There’s no such thing as too many,” you replied, leading the way through the automatic doors. 

“Precisely,” he agreed, coming to a stop as soon as the two of you had entered. Raising a brow, he looked down at you before throwing a thumb over to the in-store coffee house. “Want something?”

“You don’t even have to ask,” you responded with a light smile, walking toward the smell of comforting coffee and cakes. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

He’d footed the bill the whole night. . . including the surplus of books from Barnes & Noble. It had been a hefty bill, but he’d refused to let you pay. He had convinced you it was part of co-parenting – sharing purchases. And this was one of his first purchases to make for the baby.

“This was a good idea,” you mentioned at the end of the evening, juggling your one bag of books that you’d insisted Jake let you carry (the lightest one, after compromise) as you led the way up the stairs of your complex. “Focusing on other ways we can prepare for the baby, rather than worrying about what we can’t control.”

“I have a decent idea every now and then,” he chuckled, out of breath as he handled the bulk. 

Once you made it to the door, you unlocked it for the two of you.

And, for a moment, it felt so domestic.

It felt like a dream you shouldn’t dream. Arriving home after a big shopping run, walking through the door together as you laughed at the heaviness of bags and discussed a few of the books you’d chosen.

And as you made your way through the door finally, it broke your heart to see the night go. He wasn’t necessarily acting ready to end it, but the impending ending made your stomach turn. You wanted this for longer. 

He was going on and on about all of the things he’d researched as of late concerning babies and pregnancy and everything in between. You decided on grabbing a Canada Dry from the fridge, letting him sort the books on the counter into categories as he kept conversation easily.

Every now and then, you offered a small response to show you were listening, but otherwise, you let him talk. You loved listening to him talk about all of this. 

It made your heart feel ten times bigger. Though, as you took a sip of your ginger ale, watching him sort the books, your heart began to sink instead. 

You couldn’t help how much you adored his desire to learn about all things ‘baby’. He was already so good at his job as dad.

The way you’d felt all night–so peaceful with him. . . you knew it was good for you. He was literally your mental safe place (you hadn’t told him that though. Absolutely not). But. . . you knew it couldn’t go past the feeling of good friendship. Co-parenthood.

The unfortunate part, though, was that you really felt unable to stop the way you were feeling for him. It felt new and familiar all at once.

Though, you knew you couldn’t let yourself feel that way. You shouldn’t.

But with the way his eyes lit up when you looked up at him again, after staring at your feet in your whirlwind of contemplation, you knew you were doomed. 

There was no stopping the way that you felt about him. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

One morning at the very end of November, you woke up with a cold. A terrible one. The same cold that every other person in your classes was seeming to come down with. Theo had been gone with it all week, and you saw him more frequently than not to study. You’d decided on one or two days a week after class. There were also the few people who sat around you in class, who’d come down with it.

So, it was due time for you. 

Normally, you would have tried to make it through the day. But, you’d done enough reading to learn that coming down with a serious infection like the flu or Covid could lead to a baby’s fetal development getting stunted. So, you played it safe and decided to stay home until you felt better.  

You had called in to work that morning. And just after that, you’d emailed the professor you had that day to let  him know. Everyone you had spoken to was understanding, luckily, which helped you to sleep very peacefully. You only hoped that the extra sleep wasn’t just helpful to you, but also–mostly–to the baby.

Sleeping off the sick seemed the best option. You hadn’t really had the mental energy that morning to look into safe medicine to take for colds during pregnancy. So, sleeping it was.

Your colds were always intense–all of your sicknesses were. When you got sick, it never failed to knock you on your ass. So instead of stressing over it all that morning, you’d chosen sleep as the easier route.

You had been hoping that you’d wake up from a long nap feeling refreshed and better. . .but. . . you were not so lucky.

When your eyes fluttered open for the second time that day to find what was left of the evening sun peeking through your curtains, you officially knew it was time to figure something out. Your eyes were burning–hurt to open. There was an ache settled firmly in every bone in your body–weren’t sure if you were cold or hot. . . 

You were definitely sick. More than a cold. No two ways about it.

When you turned to your bedside table for a drink from your Stanley, you found your bedside table had a couple new additions since you’d fallen asleep. There was a brand new Stanley sitting next to your old one. One you’d eyed for a few minutes online a week or so ago, and then decided against due to the monstrously obnoxious size. . . 

You’d talked to Jake about it after he’d noticed your pensive face looking at your phone screen for longer than necessary. . . And now, there it sat on your white, wooden night stand. A 64 ounce, rose quartz Stanley, in all of its glory. 

And leaning against it and next to it were a concoction of helpful remedies with a couple of sticky notes to explain each of their benefits. The handwriting gave him away. Jake. In his scrawl, he detailed what to take and when, which ones you could take together. He’d even written out the link to a website talking about pregnancy-safe cold meds. There was also a fruit punch Gatorade. When you reached out, it was still cold. He’d been in recently.

Moving on from the drink and meds, you glanced at the Stanley and saw it had a sticky sitting underneath it, waiting to be read. 

Plenty of water will help you and the baby stay healthy. It was worth it 

It had perfect timing and came in the mail today of all days

:) –Jake

The note effectively had your head spinning from something other than sickness. . .his kind gesture, making your stomach do soft flips. Your hand floated to touch your tummy at the idea of him doing so sweet for you (and for the baby–his baby).

After reading his advice on what to take, you went ahead and took some Tylenol for your headache and body aches, then used a nasal spray to help loosen up whatever drainage you could. The Vicks rub he’d left had been a welcome solvent on your chest, temples, and under your nose. 

But, it didn’t take long for your stomach to start rumbling, so you took that as your sign to find something that would ease the scratch in your throat and warm you up. 

You went out to the kitchen for food, holding your brand new Stanley, taking several healthy sips of the iced water from it. When you bent down to pour food in Stevie’s dish, you realized there was already kibble in there. . . that Jake undoubtedly left for her.

You were sure your heart monitor was picking up all kinds of strange palpitations at his gestures. 

Around the time you’d noticed Stevie’s food, you went to text him to tell him thank you. Only to find he’d sent a text about twenty minutes ago saying he’d left for the night. And while it made your heart sink, you knew you had no right to feel sad about it. . . especially when he’d done so much to help you before you’d even woken from your nap. 

To add emphasis to that thought, you noticed at just the right time that he’d also left a couple Panera soups waiting on the counter for you. God. . . he was wonderful. You read the note he’d left with the two little sealed containers.

Soup is the best when you’re sick :) 

–Jake 

Your body was already hurting a little less after you’d heated and almost instantly downed one of the delicious soups. A warm shower sounded more than tempting, so you didn’t waste time throwing away your trash and making your way to grab the shower steamer pods he’d left for you on your bedside table (they were a pregnancy-safe brand, he’d assured on a sticky, which made you softly smile). 

After placing them in the heating shower to begin dissolving the comforting notes of lavender and rose, you padded back to the kitchen for your new Stanley when you noticed something on the counter.

In an arranged group on the counter sat a few books you'd bought the other night. You recognized them. They sat with a notebook, stickies, and pens. Two of the books were closed, stacked, and tabbed with stickies–all bright pinks, greens, and blues.

Though, there was one more, face up and open, as if he’d had to leave unplanned and hadn’t had time to shut it. There was a pad of stickies sitting atop the page it was opened to. A pen was on top of the pad, which, when you walked closer, realized there was plenty of Jake’s scrawl already written on it. The page had a heading that read:

Props and pillows and sleep, oh my! 

And he’d written the following on his sticky, which lay upon the page: 

–Look into pregnancy pillows for y/n

–Be patient!! 

–Do what you can to help her find the right set up for sleep or rest 

–Adhere to her sleep schedules (no loud sounds or bright lights when she’s asleep, etc) 

–She needs sufficient rest (has healthy outcomes for her and the baby)

You went to look at the cover of the book, but before you could look at it, you stopped yourself. For some reason, it felt like an invasion of his privacy. Even though he’d left it open on the counter, these were his notes, not yours.

But just before you could walk any further to the bathroom and ignore his notes, the book stacked on top of the other had a note stuck to the top of it. And, written in bold, black sharpie, were the words Remember: Do WHATEVER you can to help y/n – it’s for the BABY!

The words it’s for the baby being written with finality at the end of the statement reminded you that chances were, all of this was not really for you. . . definitely not. You didn’t deserve that from him. No, whatever was for you was done for the ultimate benefit of the baby.

All of everything he did was for the baby. All of the words of reassurance. The trip to the bookstore. Panera. The meds tonight. Taking you to counseling. . . ev-ery-thing.

And that was fine. . .

So why was a tear drawn to your eye as you sped away from the book that sat on top of the counter? And why had you felt the need to go back to your room on the way to the shower, to get the Stanley cup you’d bought yourself? Why did the thought of using the one Jake bought for you make your stomach feel all tangled and weird?

Because he doesn’t care about you, a voice nagged, reminding you. It was a familiar voice, filtering in from the dark tresses of your mind. He doesn’t care about you. This is for the baby. So if you feel like it’s for you, know it’s not. Let him help the baby. Don’t be selfish. The baby matters most. 

You couldn’t help but agree with the voice. The baby did matter most. Not you.

So, you resolutely chose to wait out the calming scent of the steamer, until it all pooled down the drain. Stepping in when the scent was gone seemed the only option, as the way the shower calmed you was only for your benefit and not necessarily the baby’s. 

Yes, it sounded fucked up and foolish in your head. But you were trying to navigate these thoughts the best you fucking could and you were grasping for something that made sense. But all you were doing was making no sense. 

God, what the fuck, y/n?

And, stupidly, for whatever fucking selfish reason (because you knew for sure you were selfish–evidence proved that), you found yourself hiccuping on tears that hurt your already-aching body, under the lukewarm spray of the shower.

He didn't truly care about you. Not really. It was all for the baby.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Once your mind was lucid after your little cold-sickness stint, you noticed stretch marks had started showing up. One by one, they’d started becoming stark and apparent and made you feel gross. 

The creams and oils you’d ordered seemed to help the slightest bit with the new darkness of the few tiger stripe-like lines. They truly looked heinous against your otherwise unmarred skin. You’d felt insecurities really begin to kick in after you’d cried in the shower on the first day out of three of your sickness. 

During the latter three days of your cold (or whatever the hell it was), you’d sulked and avoided Jake’s help in whatever way you could. You wanted his help with the baby. Only with the baby. But the baby wasn’t there yet. 

So, you didn’t need his help. He didn’t need to care about you. Only the baby. It was common sense. And it would be fine. 

But it still made you feel oddly unwanted. The feeling didn’t matter. 

But, for you, with your utterly complicated past, feeling unwanted came hurtling towards you, without any sign of stopping.

Since you were a child, feeling unwanted in your mother’s grimy home, a whole range of other negative emotions accompanied that familiar feeling. Most call it depression. Your oldest friend.

And, it had officially lit up for this new stage of your life. Why enjoy things for too long? It wasn’t worth it. Right?

So, the way your skin was beginning to scar due to growth you absolutely couldn’t control. . . it just set misery aflame in your amped-up insecurities and dispirit. 

On the first night of December, the depressive thoughts persisted. You stood with your big sleep t-shirt tucked up under your heavy-ass boobs as you lathered your tummy up with the last oil in your new, nightly anti-stretch mark routine. As you did so, tears pooled in your eyes at the sight of yourself. 

And, seemingly out of nowhere, your thoughts picked up on a different train. . . something you hadn’t really taken time to be super upset about yet. The thought slipped in amongst the rest of your woes. 

It was the thought of being a single mother.

And while it didn’t matter and wasn’t completely true, because Jake would be there, you’d still be doing it on your own in a sense. You would be on your own. The two of you definitely weren’t together. He wouldn’t be there with you. He would just be there, doing his own thing for the baby, with Maya by his side. (Nausea crept up at her name alone. Gag.)

You were going to be a single mother. Just like your own moth–. No. You locked eyes with yourself in the mirror, momentarily stopping the massaging of your belly. 

I will not let my mind go there, you asserted silently, staring daggers through your reflection. I am not her. I am not. I can’t be. I won’t be. What would Gia say? What would Jake say?

Amidst your crying and sorrowful thoughts, the knock on the door of the bathroom kind of spooked you. And, in the depths of your despair, you couldn’t really care fucking less who saw you right now. That was just how pitiful you felt. 

“Come in,” you said, sniffing and trying to cover the sound of tears in your voice by swallowing them. 

When the door began opening, you had to scoot over a little to let Jake in. You knew it was him. He’d been home all night with you, while Maya was busy doing whatever the hell she needed to do for her job. 

He’d spent a couple hours catching up on New Girl with you and it had been nice. Except, anytime you thought about how it wasn’t really for your benefit and rather him just being your friend for the baby. . . It just wasn't the same.

“You okay?” He carefully pondered, coming to stand slightly behind you in the mirror.

But, as soon as he appeared next to you and saw your current state of dress, his eyes went immediately to your bare tummy. He stayed trained on the bump that continued to grow, day by day. Still not huge, but definitely not small.

Insecurities were instantly blossoming at his stare. He was not looking away for anything, lost in a trance. He was probably in shock at just how big your belly had gotten, compared to the last time he’d seen you like this. Chances were, he was repulsed by what he saw. 

You effectively decided the stretch marks had been tended to enough for the night. You went to pull your Pratt shirt over the exposed skin. But to your surprise, his hand was shooting out, around your body, just as quick, to stop you before you could pull it down too far. 

He definitely succeeded in stopping you, holding your wrist. You were in shock – skin flaming at his touch . . .felt it everywhere. 

“I want to see,” he requested, sort of breathless. What? He wanted to–? “You look–this is–.”

“Ugly? Fat? Disgust–?”

“Beautiful,” he firmly stated, his eyes finally locking with yours in the mirror at the word. “This is beautiful. You are beautiful.”

His hand still held your hand over shirt, not daring to touch your belly. You couldn’t move to make the position change. The fact that he’d just called you beautiful was like a lightning bolt to your entire nervous system.

“I’m not–,” you shook your head, at a loss for words. You did not fully agree with him. Was it beautiful that you were holding the baby? Was the baby beautiful inside? Yes. But were you loving your body these days? Absolutely not. “The stretch marks. . . I’m so fucking big. . .”

“You aren’t,” he suddenly dropped his hand, and you were missing his touch as soon as it was gone. He went to lean against the bathroom counter, facing you. His eyes bounced between your belly and your eyes, settling on your irises as he continued. “You are not any of the things you called yourself. I don’t think any of those things when I see you. . . I don’t even understand how you could–,” he shook his head, blinking once before finding your eyes. “I just see a woman who is special to me. A beautiful woman who is carrying my baby.”

Carrying my baby. 

Those words. . . they did something to you. Your palms were sweaty as you held tighter to your shirt, rolled under your boobs.

“The baby is beautiful,” you concurred. And surprisingly, you didn’t trip over your words. “But I am–.”

“You are beautiful. I am talking about you right now,” he stated, with no room for disagreement in his tone. “Don’t discount that. Please.”

“Are you just saying these things because I’m carrying your baby?”

Where did that come from? Shit. Nothing like baring your most vulnerable feelings to the very person you feel most vulnerable in front of. . . 

“No,” he said without pause. He sounded sure. “You have always been beautiful. It’s just. . . enhanced now. I can’t. . .it’s hard to explain.”

You wanted to ask him to try to explain it but you didn’t.

All of a sudden, you felt confident to ask more. 

“You don’t just think so because of the baby? Do you just care about me because of the baby?”

Jesus. There it was. 

“We’ve gone over this,” he sighed, rubbing circles against his temple. He didn’t keep on with the action, instead stuffing his hands in his pockets as he found your eyes with his. 

“I know, but I just. . . I feel like I don’t matter. I mean, I really don’t right now do I?" You sarcastically laughed, eyes watering. "All I’m good for is being the big, fat incubator who hates her body and has ugly fucking stretch marks because my belly won’t slow the fuck–.”

“It’s good that it won’t slow down,” he reassured, amber-brown irises smiling with his lopsided grin. “It means the baby’s healthy and growing.”

“But you do think I’m an incubator,” you stubbornly persisted. “Didn’t say anything to argue that.” Your tone unnecessarily snipped with your next words, “Jake, you just want to help the baby. I know this. So just wait until the baby’s here. Don’t worry about me or making me feel better if you just want to help the–.”

“Where are you getting this from?”

You stared at each other for a few moments. . . . He gave you a look that told you he could see you.

“My mind is a really twisty place,” you huffed a humorless laugh, rubbing your own temples now. “It never shuts the fuck up,” you paused–didn’t want to say anything about the sticky note on the book that had spurred the thoughts. The same thoughts you’d voiced the night you’d told him. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve already been insecure about all of this shit. It’s just–.”

“I don’t view you as an incubator,” he insisted, crossing his arms, strong fingers wrapping around stronger biceps. “I view you as a brave fucking woman who is being selfless as hell. You’re growing a fucking human, y/n,” he said, grin widening. You felt your lips lift, too. He continued, “And I can’t help but be amazed by that alone every. single. day. And while that is beautiful, yes - I won’t say it isn’t because it is,” he unwaveringly asserted. 

“But. . . it’s more,” he kept on. “You’ve been this woman-the one in front of me - for a long ass time–before I ever knew you. Though, since I’ve known you, I’ve had the privilege of seeing this woman. I knew your heart right off the bat–since the day Josh told me about this girl who was letting a man she didn’t know move into her fucking home. Just because she cared about the situation. Didn't even know me," He raised a brow, lips quirking as yours did the same. “You’re selfless and–,” he paused. 

His eyes shut briefly before opening to yours. Except this time. . . they were wet with emotion. Yours were, too. Your heart was pounding and you felt warm with a blush, from your chest to your face.

“And kind. So thoughtful when you don’t need to be. You care a whole fuckin’ lot for others and sometimes it gets you in trouble because you get in your head and it hurts you,” he said, brows dipped with a shake of his head. “But the fact that your heart is the way it is in spite of everything you’ve been through–I can’t even imagine, y/n. All of that and so much fucking more makes you beautiful,” he tucked his hair behind his ears before they went back into his pockets. “So, no, it’s not just because of the baby. It’s just one more thing that makes you beautiful.”

You were utterly speechless, and you couldn’t stop the wetness in your own eyes, a tear trickling down your own cheek. . . How could he even begin to say all of those things about you when you’d been so terrible to him? Always made assumptions?

You weren’t sure how much time passed when you finally swallowed down your own tears and found the most simple words you could mutter. “Thanks, Jake,” you whispered.

“Don’t thank me,” he winked. It clicked with you that you could faintly hear your heart monitor phone going off in your room. It was alerting you of unusual heart activity. No fucking wonder - with the poetry the man had just spoken. He heard it, too, apparently, brows wrinkling. “What is that sound that’s been going off for the last few–?”

“My heart monitor phone. My heart is beating really fucking hard in my chest right now and the monitor picked up on the palpitations,” you blushed, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you finally pulled your shirt down. “I’m not used to hearing people say things like that about me. It just catches me off guard when you–,” you coughed, blinking as you located some sense. “When anyone says sweet things like that to me.”

Then, you were back in time. Yet again. On the living room floor. That day it'd rained. . . a quiet, gray morning. He'd said things so like what he'd said just now. The same day those Aretha Franklin songs had sealed a place in your heart. Well– both of your hearts, apparently. . . according to Jake at the bar.

A comfortable silence had crept over the two of you that morning, he’d so obviously been watching you– admiring you–not to be mistaken for anything else as you'd laid atop him.

His next words confirmed it. 

“Even in the grayness of this morning, you shine so bright,” he said, almost absentmindedly. “You fucking glow, y/n. You’re just brilliant.”

All you’d been able to utter was a measly, “Thank you.” The sound of tears in your throat, behind your response, had surprised you.

“Has no one ever told you?” Jake had pondered, his warm chest breathing steadily and comfortably beneath you.

You’d explained how Josh and Elsie were kind to you, but. . . “hearing you say something like that. . .,” you’d emphasized to him. “Those words. . . It just feels good. I don’t know,” you’d shaken your head, a tear falling to meet his tanned chest. “And no one has ever said those exact words to me, no.”

“You are all of that and more, my lo—,” he’d cleared his throat, stopping himself from saying a word your heart was now longing so badly to hear. “You are so many things wrapped in one, y/n. So many fantastic things.”

“Stop,” you’d sniffed, more tears falling onto his chest. “You don’t have to say things like that. I promise I’ll still want to have sex with you if you don’t,” you’d laughed, wiping your leftover tears. The words had sounded funny (true, but still funny) as they’d left your mouth. 

“I want to tell you those things,” he’d said, firm in his response. “You deserve to hear those good things. Sex or not.”

And tonight had proven that he truly meant that statement. No sex, and still. . . .

But . . . goddamn. The sex. 

With that thought in mind, you couldn’t help but watch the sway of his ass in his tight black jeans as you followed out of the bathroom behind him. You bit your lip after bidding him goodnight– only able to think of how fucking badly you missed the sex. 

“I fucking love you,” he'd once told you - on the very night that had gotten you in this predicament. “And god, do I love fucking you. . .”

Not that word. . . Where had it come from just now?!

Love. Love. Love. Love. You hardly ever thought of him saying it to you–tried not to because it hurt and you knew it wasn’t true anymore.

But when he’d said those sweet things about you being beautiful just now. . . apparently, your mind couldn't help but chant the word . . .and the sound of him saying it to you. Why?! He was just being kind.

It was so hard wanting him and not being able to have him. . . Not like you ever actually had him - but before you fucked everything up with your stupid, hurtful words.

And, god, did you still want him. 

You couldn’t have him like that – all of the reasons were plain as day. But. . . at least you still had the memories. The wonderful memories. But being pregnant made the memories so much worse. . . because one little thought of how he felt inside of you had you actually throbbing for him.

As soon as you got to your bed, you were reaching into your bedside table for your favorite little vibrating instrument. The thought of that morning. . . the idea of having your breasts pushed against his bare chest again as he told you things just like he did tonight. . . You knew it wouldn’t take long for you to be unraveling. 

Before long, you were feeling all of the tremors you craved from Jake’s mouth, from the little toy held just right against your quivering bundle of nerves. And in less than five minutes, you were  shuddering, body tensing and releasing as you breathily moaned his name into your pillow.

-🌼🌼🌼-

December 4, 2022

Your week ended with a particularly exhausting day at the Black and Gold. 

Inventory had come out of nowhere. And, with Josh busy with his new career, it was mostly on you to prepare for it.

The two other girls who worked with you couldn’t give two shits and it showed when you’d shown up for a shift after theirs. Nothing was ever prepared in the evenings or the following mornings if they were in charge—and inventory week was no exception. 

In fact, it was glaringly more obvious when it was such an important week as inventory week. 

And having to do all of that after your few solid days of feeling like complete and utter crap and while being pregnant? It had been one of the longest days you’d had in your whole life (dramatic? Maybe. But whatever.). 

And to top it all off, you’d come home to the apartment being very warm to accommodate the cooler weather outside. 

For normal people, it probably felt nice to come into the warmth. And, most likely, it would’ve felt great to you before your pregnancy.

It was just too damn hot in the apartment tonight. You’d wanted to come home and take a warm shower to wash off the day and relax your sore muscles, but the temperature of the place had you throwing that idea away real quick.

So instead, you hurriedly went about feeding Stevie before rushing to your bedroom to dig out the box fan stuffed at the top of your closet. You’d bought it the summer the A/C had let out on you and your sister, and had kept it handy ever since for fear of it happening again. 

And at this exact moment, it felt just as hot to you as it did that summer the A/C quit working.

The fan was plugged in and blowing at full blast, towards the bed, in no time. It was sitting on top of your vanity seat, pointing right at your side of the bed. The speed at which you’d gotten it situated was astounding. And your sheets were cool and crisp and tempting you to climb into them when you pulled your covers down. 

But you couldn’t climb in yet with the way your bladder was squeezing and hurting with how badly you needed to pee. You’d put it off at the B&G, ready to get home. And then you’d come home to an uncomfortably steamy apartment.

Before heading to the bathroom, you stripped completely of your tight bra (thank you, God), your stuffy sweater and your leggings. Then, changed into a thin pair of pajama shorts and the first camisole you could find in your chest of drawers. And thankfully the thin strapped shirt had no built-in bra to constrict you. 

You’d welcomed Stevie into your room, her soft purrs and shaggy fur rubbing against your ankles as you promised her of your soon arrival back. 

Finally, after peeing and washing your face, you were ready to lay right in front of that fan. 

You stopped by the kitchen to quickly grab a Stanley from the counter– to find nothing. No Stanley. Neither of them.

Shit.

Slapping your forehead, you remembered almost instantly where they still sat on the counter at the Black and Gold. Both of them. Your rush to leave and rest from your long day had prompted you to forget a couple of your most prized possessions. 

Without your go-to water tumbler, you felt naked. And even more thirsty. 

Your day had been long and hard and now you were paying for it. Ugh.

When you scanned the kitchen for a quick alternative, your eyes immediately landed on the case of waters that Jake had recently bought for rehearsals only. You didn’t give two shits. You were bound to steal one to satiate your thirst. 

The one problem was. . .

It was sitting atop the fridge. Out of your reach. And with the few inches Jake had on you, he’d stacked it up there so it would be out of the way. You remembered him saying those exact words as you eyed the package now. Hated those words. 

Because not only was it out of the way, it was out of your reach. Out of your reach when you were dying of thirst and needed a drink of water. Stat.

Without thinking of risking anything, you went to grab a table chair quickly and quietly.

You had to be quiet because Jake was home and you did not want to wake him. Not when you were in cavewoman mode. . . and especially not with the way your tits and ass were flashing in your current choice of clothing. Or with the ugly heart monitor that was attached to your chest.

So, as carefully as possible, you sat the chair next to the side of the fridge with the waters and climbed on top of the seat to grab the case of Pure Life. Briefly, you worried about handling a heavy object while pregnant, but put it to the side when you realized pregnant women all over America handled water cases like this. You were fine. 

In the lapse of time it took you to contemplate holding the waters, and getting it off the counter, you misplaced the package on the counter top. And right as you silently stepped off the chair, the waters came crashing down onto the floor of the kitchen. The harsh sound of plastic smashing against the ground, filled with several heavy bottles of water, seemed to linger in the air around you as you stood there. One foot still on the chair, one off ready to go. 

Not able to change the fact that it crashed onto the ground, you just stood there and stared at the offensive case of water for a moment and cursed it for its loudness. But before you could silently wish harm for too long, you were bending to pick it up. 

Once it had been safely placed back on the counter with careful hands, you glanced towards Jake’s room. No movement or sound from it. He probably hadn’t heard — deep in sleep. 

And then. . . Your pregnant brain was sparking to life. 

There was a fucking Brita in the fridge. Filled to the brim with ice cold water, versus the room temperature water in the case. You’d just filled it this morning before class. And ice cold water sounded so much more appealing than lukewarm. . . 

If only you’d remembered before that you had the filtered water waiting in the pitcher. . . There wouldn’t have been a giant crash to possibly wake your roommate. 

Putting all of the irritation out of your mind, you went to grab a glass quickly from the cabinet, then hastily pried the pitcher from the refrigerator. With nervous hands, you poured until the glass was literally overflowing. 

“Shit!” You whispered at the mess, anxious to be rid of this situation. Tired and thirsty and still feeling warm even in your cami and shorts, your ears rushed with white noise.

This was not ending up like you’d planned.

The pitcher had safely found its spot back in the fridge and you were finally taking a drink from your (overfilled) glass, when you decided to multitask and grab a few paper towels to clean up the counter.

But when they wouldn’t rip off the roll, you yanked too hard. And that resulted in the water you were still drinking, to spill. It dripped down your chin, down your top mostly, and into the top of your shorts. Sensory overload was doing what it did best, overwhelming you—making you lose grip and had the glass falling from your hand and to the ground. 

That shatter was much worse than the water case falling, the shards thankfully large, but the few sparkling pieces of glass had you shushing Stevie away when she approached with curiosity. 

And if Stevie was approaching, then surely someone else had heard—

“Y/n, what’s going on?” Jake hushed, his voice close behind you, sounding like it was coming from the entryway of the kitchen. 

You stilled. Of course he'd woken up. You’d made a fuck ton of noise. Real nice.

You turned on your heel, just the slightest bit, to peek over your shoulder at him. And with the luck you’d already had with the night, the action made you effectively slip from the bit of water that had made its way under your foot. 

Falling, more like—and not using the counter to catch yourself like a sane person—towards the hard ground and glass, bump—baby— first—fuckfuckfu—.

Jake’s arms immediately wrapped around you, effectively stopping your fall. He hugged you tightly to him. One arm wrapped fully around your stomach, hand secured to your side, firmly in place. And the other hand— gripping your breast. . . fully. 

He had you wrapped up in him, ass pulled into his crotch to keep you steady.

And ho-ly fuck.

Your nipple hardened instantly at the feeling of him holding your chest. You’d been waiting to feel his hand hold your sore breasts. . . And your assumption had been correct. His touch eased the pain in them, felt deliciously good—his touch didn’t hurt them like everyone else seemed to do on contact. 

But then he began moving his hands away. 

No.

“I’m sorry— I-I didn’t mean to—.”

“Stay.”

The word just slipped out as you grabbed hold of his hand, keeping it secured where he’d initially placed it, carefully situating his fingers over your nipple for the sensation you longed for. 

And when you did, he squeezed the flesh through your thin shirt. His other hand gripped your hip, exposed just a bit by your shirt – the way his fingers held you there made you fearful that he’d leave marks.

You fucking hoped so. 

And fuck, if he didn’t like it, too. You could feel it against your ass.

The way he continued to massage his other hand on your chest, wrapping his fingers securely around your breast, feeling it, told you so, too. The impulsive urge to pull down the top of your shirt and give him full access was becoming more and more appealing by the second. 

But you didn’t do it. Didn’t want to do too much and scare him away. 

You just let his arm come to rest where he apparently wanted it to, fully over the other breast. He comfortably situated his arm, rubbed a purposeful thumb over your sensitive nipple. 

“Jake,” you whispered. Couldn’t help it. He elicited this feeling. “Please.”

With your words, he pressed his front harder against your ass. God, you could feel the shape of him.

Letting the moment take over, you decided to let your body lean into his, rested against him and pushed your ass purposefully into his hardening dick. The breath he sucked in was not lost on you, and you craved hearing it again, so you repeated the action against him. 

His hand tightened around your breast, and he began massaging it as he used his grip to pull you even closer to him. His thumb moved to rub tight circles around your taut nipple. It felt so good. . . your head fell back against his shoulder, sucking in your own breath between your teeth. The way he gently kneaded the flesh in his strong grip had electricity shooting through your chest, all the way down to your toes. 

Your heart was going crazy, beating frantically, barely letting up with its assault against your chest. The feeling of him against you was enough to make you lose your breath with the way your heart was clenching in your chest, all the way up to your throat.

And then you heard a familiar, faint beeping from your bedroom.

The blessed heart monitor phone. Tracking when your heart rate would increase. The stupid phone didn’t need to tell you that it was beating hard right now. And so what if you fainted? You would do it in Jake’s arms. No better place to be. 

All you knew was that you were elated that it was still in your room – and quiet enough to the average ear that it hopefully didn’t break the air of want between you and this man you wanted so. badly. 

Jake hadn’t heard it - or didn't care to stop if he had, that much seemed to be clear.

He angled his hips, pressing so cozily into your backside. You could feel all of him – moving in slow circles, while still pressed tightly to your ass. That continued on for a while until he nudged himself, right in the middle of your ass. You felt him pulsing. Tucked into you, making your core throb even more for him.

Your nerves were on fire, and when he began rolling his hips, thrusting into your ass. . . you released the tiniest moan. It was such a small sound that you briefly thought you’d imagined it. But then the hand that had been holding your hip came to wrap around your throat briefly, and then up to your mouth. 

His breath came in hot waves against your ear, his voice gravelly with need. “It’s late. We shouldn’t make noise like that. It’s too late.”

After making his point known, his hand moved to sweep some hair over one shoulder, leaving your neck exposed for him to breathe hotly against. . . and then lick. Your breath hitched at the sensation of his wet tongue, making loose circles against your hot, sweating flesh.

“You still taste so good,” he moaned with the words, ever so quietly. “You always will–but it’s like you taste sweeter than before. I can’t even–.

But he never finished what he was saying, choosing instead to press sloppy kisses against your skin. His lips and his tongue, moving together to suck gently. 

Fuck! What had gotten into–?

Your body relaxed into him all on its own, moving near enough to him that you felt like one. 

Your ass ground against him, pressing so close. He kept with his motions as he angled his lips to hover above your bare shoulder, breath hot on your skin.

Though, his kisses stopped. But, he still released puffs of overexerted breaths, over your skin, wet from his mouth. It made your toes curl and your eyes fall closed. He didn’t give your neck any more attention as he used his position to lean up and look over the front of your body, effectively pulling you even closer to him. 

“God,” he breathed, his breath hitting from exposed shoulder, onto your collar bones. Your motions continued, but just a little slower to keep him where he was, not wanting to somehow push him away. You felt him, throbbing steadily against your ass. “You’re soaked.”

You have no idea, you silently, hotly responded, moving to rub your thighs together.

But you remembered your predicament. What he was talking about. Your clothes were completely soaked through. There had been so much water. He was talking about your clothes.

“I spilled my water,” you breathed back, so quiet. 

“I can see that. Y/n– fuck,” he rutted against your ass, his hand moving to the bottom of your full breast to hold it in a steady grip. You realized he was moving his hand to see the entire breast, your straining nipples through the soaked white fabric. “Your tits. . . they’re so fucking– Goddammit.”

“Sore,” you moaned back, your body arching in need against the hardness in his loose pajama pants. “Heavy.”

“God, I’m sor–,” he went to move his hand again. And you once again brought your hand up to stop him. 

“No, Jake,” you held his hand in a tight grip, rubbing your thumb over the back of it. “Feels good.”

“Yeah?” He questioned, raspy and needy. 

Then, he was suddenly letting go of your chest to move your strap to do what you so desperately wanted.

Once it was draped over your shoulder, he moved a hand slowly over your sternum, into the front of your shirt. When he grazed his fingers over your oversensitive nipple, you whined, knees buckling. And, finally, he pulled your breast out to touch the air. 

And just before he could hold it with the hand that was readily going to grasp it. . . his bedroom door was creaking open. 

“Jakey?” Maya’s voice rang through the apartment. “You okay?”

Of course she was here. Why wouldn’t she be? 

You hadn’t heard the tell-tale sign of anyone taking steps towards the kitchen from the slightly creaky hallway, but you still decided you needed to get the fuck away from Jake. He was not yours.

You pulled away harshly and quickly, turning around all as you went to pull up your tank.

When you fully turned around, he was standing stock-still, watching your every move with your top, not letting his eyes fall away from your breasts. Your hard nipples. You felt the blush spread across your entire chest.

Then he bit his lip, your entire body heating at the motion, before he was responding.

You moved forward to hold his cheek, trying to wake him from the daze he was in. Your words barely hit the air, you were so quiet. “Jake, go back to your room. I’ll clean this up so she doesn’t–.”

“I’m good, babe,” he called back to her in a low tone, still honing in on your eyes. Your brows dipped, confused. He looked to the fridge, his hand coming to hold your bicep, keeping you there. Why was he not getting his ass back to his room? “Y/n’s asleep and I really don’t want to wake her,” he lied, eyes still glued to something to your left.

She could walk in and see he was lying! Why was he being so fucking careless? 

“Just go back to bed,” he continued, leaving no room for argument or worry. “I dropped something when I was getting up to get some water.”

“Okay,” she responded, not using the same near-whispering tone as him. “Just don’t be long, baby.”

“I won’t,” he simply said, amber-brown irises, tracing back to yours in the dim lighting of the kitchen, highlighted by the moon, shining in through the kitchen window. Full moon. Anything can happen. 

And what was happening was wrong. 

When you heard his bedroom door click closed and a little squeak from the bed to indicate someone had placed weight on it, you pulled away from him, his arm slowly dropping back to his side. The eyes that stared back at yours had a question behind them, but you didn’t give him time to ask it.

“Jake,” your tone clipped and quiet. You didn’t want to break the ridiculous cover he’d mindlessly created. “Why the fuck did you lie like that?”

“I didn’t want her to come in here,” he cut back, his inflection reflecting the same hot energy as yours. “If she would’ve known we were both in here, she would have come looking. I don’t need that,” he insisted. “And neither do you. Especially with your tits on full fucking display like that.”

You glanced down, after he’d motioned momentarily at your chest. And, his words rang true when you realized your entire fucking nipple and areola was visible through the material. Even in the darkness of night, you could tell as much. Your arms flew up to snugly cover them, flinching at the way it felt like sharp needles were pressing into your chest momentarily.  

When you peered down to where you saw his hand moving, you realized he was palming himself through his pants. You felt yourself release, the slightest bit in your panties.

Your hands tightened closer to your chest, doing the opposite of what you wanted in that moment–you wanted to bring your shirt down over yourself and let him finish on your waiting ches–.

Suddenly the pressure against you was too much and your arms were falling from their place across your breasts. Thus, standing there, on full display. Right fucking there for stupid ass Maya to walk in at any moment. 

Honestly, you were the stupid ass. And it seemed like Jake was, too. 

Maya was the innocent one in all of this.

“Go wait in your room for me,” he whispered heatedly, his words piercing your heart at the anxious energy floating through your veins. “I’ll clean this up. And then I’ll be—.”

“But–,” you brought your arms up to your chest again, covering yourself. It was a brainless move to flash your chest like that. You didn’t want to tempt him in any way. “This is my mess just–.”

“Y/n,” he all but spit in your direction with the harshness in his whisper. “I don’t want you falling and hurting yourself on the water or glass. Please.”

Good point. 

So, you decided you’d do as you were told, though not without the last word.

“Fine,” you practically growled, stepping over water, his hand reaching out to you, trying to balance over a puddle pooled at your feet. You grabbed his hand, one arm covered your heaving chest, as you made your way over the mess, and finished your thought. “But don’t come to my room. Go back to bed. I don’t want Maya to–.”

“I don’t care right now–,” he cut you off, but you didn’t let him continue before interjecting. 

“You will in the morning, Jacob,” you bit back, making fiery eye contact, crossing your arms. The hiss you released at the feeling of both arms covering yourself again was embarrassing. So, you tried to play it off. “You will. Just don’t make the mistake of coming to see me ton–.”

“It wouldn’t be a mist–.”

“Jake. Yes it would,” you insisted with a tense whisper, taking one step towards him, not taking your eyes from his once. “I’m not going to have you ruin what you have with her just to make a fucking mistake with me.”

Throughout the span of that small conversation, you saw his eyes go through every possible wave of emotion. His beautiful, deep set eyes had started wide with excitement, to now being filled with white hot frustration. He was mad. 

The last emotion made its way straight to the pit of your tummy and to your panties as you felt them draw even wetter. Damn. You’d take any sex with Jake right now, but angry sex? Dammit if that didn’t get you–. 

No, y/n. Stop it.

“Do you not want this? Why were you—just minutes ago if you don’t–?”

“I never said I didn’t want it.” You flat-out said, without a second thought. Why even lie when you’d just exposed yourself with whatever you’d just done with him? To him?

The two of you stood there, watching each other with flushed cheeks, hot breaths, and equally heaving chests. 

God, you would not be able to hold onto your momentary flash of integrity if you didn’t finish your thought and leave him. 

“We just can’t do it. It wouldn’t be right,” you sniffed. Shit. Your throat was tightening, eyes collecting tears. “I don’t want to be the reason you leave a woman–the woman you love,” you choked, foolishly, on the emotion that quickly made its way from your throat to your eyes. “I just want you to be happy.”

His own expression matched yours, his eyes pooled with tears of dejection. There were once more a couple moments, filled with silence.

Silence, aside from your deep breathing, and wrought with an energy you couldn’t place. You had to get away from him.

“Just go to bed. I won’t fucking bother you,” he said, swallowing thickly. He then spoke your words from earlier. “And let me clean this up.”

Again, you sniffled, but nodded, looking down, to cover it with a barely there 'goodnight'.

He didn’t say anything else, just went about his business in the kitchen to put things back together, turning his back on you altogether.

Suffice to say, you cried for a good chunk of time as you laid in bed, after changing into a big t-shirt.

Cried big, fat, somber tears.

The crying had even lasted long enough, keeping you up to hear the bed creak much more than necessary when Jake got back to his bedroom. . . The sound of soft, pleasured moans from both of them, accompanying the groans of the bed as they moved on top of it.

Lucky fucking you. 

The bed that used to be yours when that room was yours. . . The acts being made against it that made you want to punch something - someone. Someone with long, black hair and a too-sweet expression.

Like a child, you growled and used a spare pillow to cover your ears until you couldn’t hear anything through the plush filling of the pillow.

You also tried to distract yourself with TikToks, but you couldn’t focus on your feed filled with BabyTok. It just made you sad and wistful as you thought of your day of book shopping with Jake. . .

About 30 minutes later, you figured the coast was clear. It had occurred to you after lying there, doing aimless shit, that you were still very thirsty. . . your tongue felt like cardboard in your mouth. 

When you opened the door to go to the kitchen, though, you found a tumbler that didn’t belong to you, waiting for you. And when you picked it up, you realized exactly who it belonged to. . . the words told you as much. 

Merry Christmas, Jacob Thomas! 

Love you, 

Mom 

The Cricut-vinyl lettering was placed carefully across the front of the black off-brand Yeti. What you found when you looked through the clear lid was a cup full of water. Iced water.

The crying that ensued as you closed the door and placed the cup on your nightstand was no surprise to you. The sweet action made your heart thrum with unbridled admiration for him. 

You hated how things were now. . . how simply interacting with him the way you had was a mistake. When you compared it to the way things had been before the fateful day in the kitchen, it made your stomach sink and your eyes well with more tears. 

Then there had been what you’d heard through the walls. . . it made you want to fucking vomit. But. . .you’d brought it on yourself. No question about it. 

Aaand, more of the damn tears. . .

After taking a few healthy swigs from the cup, you felt sleep find you without warning. Your eyes were beginning to close on their own.

And, as you faded into a well-earned sleep, the only solace you found that night was the smooth bump of your tummy, which your hands held protectively–longingly–as you wandered to sleep.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: hmmmmm what do you think will follow that night in the kitchen?????

Change the World from Friendsgiving :)

ty for being the best readers in the world and pleaseee never hesitate to send in your wonderful thoughts! love youuuu &lt;3

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist:

@joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssoloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend

@aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf, @hi-hi-hello11, @sinarainbows, @jakesbarbarian, @mybussyinchrist, @becinabubblegvf, @heckingfrick, @danigvf, @pinkandsleepy1934, @derrangeddumpsterfire, @klarxtr, @josh-iamyour-mama, @abby-gvf, @cassyface, @gretavansabotage, @sacredtheslay, @alienobsever, @hollyco, @age0fwagner, @raceb14, @stardustcatcher, @styles-canvas, @ladywhimsymoon, @earthgrlsreasy, @peaceloveunitygvf

@torniturntomyarrow, @joshsbonnet, @llrosee, @starshine-gvf, @itsafullmoon, @gvfmarge, @creadliz98, @mackalah, @lek-gvf, @carlyfleet, @profitofthedune, @mefiorini, @welllauragvf, @highway-tuna, @dont-go-home-without-me, @sarah-gvf01, @polemicandcontent, @ageofbajabule, @texas-bbq-pringles

(i think i figured out the tags limit! woooohoooo!! boo, tumblr. you're not getting me down today lmao)

[issacballsac]

“Being Apart of The Sk8 Crew„

Just rewatched Sk8 the infinity and now I wish I had friends so ! Gn reader

Joe | “I wanna marry your abs!”

Y’all would meet your first time at S

Obviously you’d be amazed by his skating and even if u don’t like men he’s hot as hell bro don’t lie

One of two things happens

You A. Run up to him and ask abt his skating techniques and such

Or B. He actually walks up to you to talk about your skating(only if ur good ofc💀)

He’s such a dad

If you’re younger than him he’s constantly trying to sound smart/give you wisdom

Sometimes it’s solid advice the other times it’s pure nonsense

If you like to cook/want to learn he’ll happily teach you

If not he’ll settle for a new taste tester

He would def make jokes all the time

Some genuinely funny

He expects you to laugh at all of them even if it wasn’t funny

He’d appreciate it if you didn’t cock block him like everyone else

Despite being quick to take off his shirt he’s very fashionable and takes pride in his looks obviously

If you ever needed fashion advice best go to him!

He’s a pretty laid back guy so you wouldn’t get into arguments often

Would love to skate everywhere but he’s like…got a job and responsibilities so..

Still a great dad friend to have

Honestly would care and worry over you if you got into some dumb shit so don’t do anything stupid and he won’t worry

Joe for the win🗣️‼️

Cherry/Kaoru | A.I. Advancement

You’d meet when he paid a visit to Joe’s restaurant

Ofc you knew of him bc he’s popular but you never MET Kaoru

You def walked in on their date arguing

It was so awkward u were jus like:🧍‍♂️

“Is this a bad time time to visit you?”

“Hey! Kaoru this is [ ], the kid I was talking about.”

“What a peculiar child to willingly hang around you.”

“Whatever you say, Pinky.”

He’s kinda weird with his whole AI stuff but other than that a great friend

Makes snarky comments with you

Unless ur too nice to make snide remarks

Constantly complains abt the angle of your turns

Unironically would show up at your parent teacher conferences(if you’re still in the lower schooling ofc)

Would never admit it but he loves each of his friends and would be genuinely concerned if anything happened

Shadow | Petty Clown

Oh when y’all met you wanted to throw hands

I imagine something similar to his introduction with Reki

Bro straight up threw an explosive in your face???(smoke bomb maybe but still)

He may be petty but you’re pettier(is that even a word?💀)

You found out he worked at a flower shop bc lets be FR he doesn’t look much different outside of S

Lil arguments here lil threats there and you leave with a nice assortment of flowers

Bro side eyes you EVERYTIME y’all cross paths at S😭

After the whole gang is assembled y’all no longer act this way towards one another

Bros the only responsible adult of this group

He def did your makeup once and you broke out the next day💀

“Are you sure you know what you’re doin’?”

“Trust me, kid.”

“I don’t know why but I don’t.”

You try and help him with his relationship endeavors but it never works out😭

He’ll go to the gym with you if you don’t wanna go alone

Gym bros‼️🗣️

Miya | Catty Child

This fucker

Y’all are quite the duo

Annoying ass mfs whenever and wherever you go

If you have any sort of pet it’s his pet now

Bros the animal whisperer

He’d have to be interested in your skating for y’all to become friends

So pretend ur decent or even amazing; however big ur delusion allows itself to be🫡

He’s smart but would invite you somewhere under the premise of studying just to goof around

If he needs a second player for his game bro is gonna drag your ass so y’all can play

Goes shopping with you just to complain about how everything is ugly in the stores

“That’s not cute, who thought selling this was a good idea?”

“Bitch—if you’re going to be negative the whole time go home‼️”

Reki | Redheaded Menace

If you thought you + Miya was a devious duo just imagine you and Reki

Y’all would prob meet second after you and Joe met

Bc he works at a skate shop

And you need skating stuff(you can tell I’m not a skater💀)

If you’re just a good skater and don’t know actual science and shit behind it he’s constantly telling you about it like you care

You guys cruise around together for fun

He made your current board and you’ll never get another one that’s not from him

You teach him any and all tricks/skills you know

Probably took you to his house to give you your current board bc he was working on it in his house and you met all of his family

His mom is just happy he’s got some friends

You become besties with his mom

She gossips abt news and celebrities with you

Claims ur like her other child(forget the rest of them👺)

Makes you lunch bc she’s nice like that

You let him ramble abt stuff he’s interested in even if you aren’t listening fully

Would silently beg you to stay back with him during the hot spring scavenge bc he’s scared

Forces you to watch horror movies with him bc he gets scared and needs someone else with him

Bro would be elated the whole day if you called him cool

Snow/Langa | Canadian Curiosity

Omg he’s Canadian?😦 Seize him!

Obviously being involved with S you would’ve heard of Snow but Reki would’ve introduced y’all before the big news

Bro would shove him in your face as if he’s a shiny trophy(at the beginning ofc)

“This is Langa! New guy from my class apparently he’s interested in skating.”

“Sick—he’s so pale.”

“He’s from Canada.”

“Oh.”

Bro is so oblivious it’s crazy

You gotta like SPELL IT OUT for him if you’re ever alluding to smth

Langa stays hungry and would go out to eat with you anytime

You and Reki would def help him decorate his room bc it’s…bland

It’s not bad but there’s no personality

He tells you abt his favourite dishes back in Canada and y’all try and locate any places in Japan that might sell smth similar

If not you guys attempt to make it yourselves at his house

His mom walks in on y’all ruining the kitchen💀

“Langa I’m…home.”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey Langa’s Mom!”

Bro is a skating addict and will skate whenever and wherever

Wants to race you like at least twice every week

Loser pays for dinner

You help him with his reading and writing and if you didn’t already know he’d teach you English

[wintersera]

Reader is sitting on g!p yeji’s lap while they’re watching a movie w/ the group and reader is “so immersed into the movie” that she keeps moving around on yeji(she’s really doing it on purpose tho) and accidentally makes her finish in her pants to which she gets shy and embarrassed about it

cw: g!p yeji, exhibitionism

you and the group had always had these late movie nights whenever the group got off schedule, and today was the long awaited day of movie night!!

finishing your month long promotions, all of you were pretty excited to finally watch the piles of movies you needed to finish. you and yuna always making a longass list of what seemed interesting.

hours into the multiple movies you guys’ had binged, it turned out that most of the members’ attention was on some other things. ryu and lia being the ones passed out on the sofa, yuna retreating to the kitchen to eat the remaining food bc the movie was too boring for her to watch 😭 chae was veryyy immersed into the movie and yeji… oh poor baby yeji was rock solid.

you had been teasing her all throughout the night, subtly grinding on her bulge as you were sitting on her lap :)) fortunately you claimed this thick ass blanket after fighting yuna for it. and luckily for you, the blanket covered your movement bc girl.. they were not subtle at all-

“y/n.. mmmh.. the movie??”

“yeah, what about it yeji?” saying with a deadpan face😭 acting normal as if you’re not humping her cock. ouhh pretending that your attention was solely on the movie and not her :<< giving her the excuse that you’re ‘so immersed into the storyline’ yeahh sure…

this continues for about two more movies- you sliding up and down her cock while she’s holding back her whimpers. you had to hold down on her thighs bc at some point you almost folded since it felt too good.

yeji literally on the verge of cumming and she feels so embarrassed about it, telling you to stop moving but you jst don’t 🤭 she really wants to jst stop you from grinding on her bulge and fuck you, but chae and yuna were with you- and she didn’t wanna look suspicious by dragging you into the bedroom.

like fr she couldnt hold it in anymore- her cock was all sensitive from the endless amounts of teasing that she jst had to cum in her underwear 😭😭 her semen coming through her shorts and lowk drenching your own shorts 😭 she’d get so embarrassed that she just had to excuse herself and change in the bathroom with that big ass blanket wrapped around her waist

[yelmor-boots]

okay, so this is a beast of a post.

since i've officially watched all 'the hobbit' movies now (as well as 'lord of the rings'), here is my personal ranking of all the movies in a list.

LoTR: Two Towers

LoTR: Return of the King

LoTR: Fellowship of the Ring

Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies

Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

i talk a lot about the movies under the cut ( i accidentally started rambling, whoops ) don't feel like you have to read it all but if you want my supper cluttered opinion, go ahead (spoilers btw)

favorite one overall is clearly 'Two Towers'. it follows three groups of characters in the best fucking way. (Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas | Samwise, Frodo, Smeagol/Gollum | Merry, Pippin) it's been a while since I watched this one but i would really love to rewatch it one day. (we rented this one so we don't have it anymore)

i initially had 'Return of the King' as #4 but i honestly can't rank it that low. everything about this one is perfect and it gave me and my sis some good fucking inside jokes. also aragorn and eowyn slayed imma be real

'An Unexpected Journey' almost came above 'Fellowship of the Ring' but then i remembered the other half of fellowship and i had to rank it higher. maybe i just love the lotr characters more, i dunno, but their journey impacted me more and had me more excited. also, 'one does not simply walk into mordor.'

'An Unexpected Journey' is the only one I've actually rewatched (even if it was only the beginning) solid movie, something old and charming to it. i did watch it when i was younger but i fell asleep multiple times and just caught tid bits of it, so going through it again i annoyed the piss out of my sis by yelling 'i know that part!' over and over again

'Battle of Five Armies' was structured really well. the fight scenes could not have gone any better. the elves, the dwarves, the orcs, all their different unique styles. solid three hours of fighting if you want that. (i would gush about this a little more but i would probably end up repeating myself a bunch and sounding more a mess than typical) ((also this is going on too long))

'Desolation of Smaug' by all intents and purposes should've been ranked higher. if something has a dragon, I'm gonna watch it. (i recently realized i had a not-so-secret love/obsession for dragons) and Smaug being that gold-obsessed dragon from storybooks gave him such an interesting twist and gave me a real appreciation for that trope and he looked really cool and he was probably my favorite part of the movie- (unfortunately i just had a bad experience watching the movie because i was being constantly interrupted to the point that i completely lost track for like two hours. but even with a rewatch, i probably wouldn't rank it higher, but i would definitely have more love for it than i currently do)

Favorite Characters

LoTR: Gimli (i can finally remember his name), Frodo (pathetic bitch, like me fr), Pippin (protect this tree-loving, goofy ass, bard at all costs)

Hobbit: (no character really stuck out to me in the way lotr characters did but these ones did stand out) Balin, Gandalf, Galadriel

and special shout out to:

aragorn (king, literally), legolas (especially from lotr where he's only quiet until he says some wise shit), smaug (big, fire kitty), galadriel (yes, again, i didn't think much of her until the hobbit but lowkey what the fuck, awesome, talented amazing, showstopping, hot as fu-what?), and eowyn (pick your head up queen, your crown is slipping)

and because i can't shut up and this is such an impeccable series

i couldn't pick one, so the two most impactful scenes for me was-

lotr: when the ring had been destroyed and frodo and sam are on the rock surrounded by lava. frodo is remembering everything about the shire and home and he probably finally feels normal again. they were also giving ship vibes, true, but their dynamic in that moment is also so special and i want to rope this into the end where he gives him the book before leaving and the ethereal lighting of it all is everything and-

hobbit: i wasn't too 'wowed' by thorin (he just doesn't match up to aragorn for me) but his character direction is something i can gab about on a later date (cuz i fucking love it dude) . other than that, he didn't touch me emotionally or anything. but holy fuck when the credit mucic started playing?? the song is 'the last goodbye' and i immediately thought of his death scene and the funeral of all of who passed and let me tell you, i have never teared up for movies or songs or stories but i got fucking close during that song man and that's gotta account for something (I've watched endgame with tony stark as my favorite character if that gives you any inclination how much that credit song fucked me up)

and lastly, my favorite songs

The Last Goodbye (this fucking song made me love thorin so much more and it also stole my lunch money, yes 911? i would like to report a crime-)

Edge of Night (wasn't expecting it, thought i'd hate it -because i get uncomfortable with characters singing in movies- fucking loved it, obsessed)

Misty Mountains Cold (had no reason to go so hard, jesus christ-)

I See Fire (i knew this song since i was a kid, never knew it was from the hobbit, got really excited when i heard it at the end of of desolation of smaug)

if you read this, you deserve a reward. but I'll settle for requesting you either reblog or comment with something about lotr/hobbit that you really love. like your favorite movie, character, scene, whichever. i'd love to see all the different things that was special to others (and it doesn't need to be as long as this, please, save yourself the stress)

[e-adlirez]

You got any more hot takes for us?? :3c

It took me a loooonnnggg while to come up with any that I considered hot takes, but I'll try my best haha

(I may have said these before, but I forgor so)

Hot take: Pam is not supposed to be the group comedic relief; Nicky is. Now that Pam has taken that role in the group in the later books, Nicky is basically a non-character and it makes me sad :(

Cold take: Nicky deserves to have her cowboy hat back. It's where 60% of her power is in, we need our crazy Aussie gremlin to gremlin another day please

Hot take: Violet liking tea isn't a bad stereotype thing, especially with how they adapted it into later books and her non-English lore. It's not that she's Chinese and therefore she likes tea, she's a goddamn tea connoisseur who just so happens to be Chinese. (Yes the earlier books didn't handle it as gracefully but cut them some slack, it was the 2000s, after all)

Lukewarm/warm take: Colette has had more fashion fails than Violet, ironically.

Hot take: Paulina is the most generic/bland of the five. I'm sorry, but it's true. She is the blandest of the five, her alleged mom friend role doesn't get explored nearly enough, she's mostly in the background, and being an IT kid is not a personality trait. The only personality traits I can think of is that she is chronically online (in the workaholic kind of way, not the "has been scrolling on Twitter for 9 hours" way), and she and Nicky put their everything into what they're doing enough that sometimes they butt heads over it.

Hot take: Nicky is not stupid. She is a dumbass, but she's not stupid. She has that ADHD flavor of hyperfixating on something so hard that when she plans a trip, she plans out a whole-ass itinerary complete with little factoids about the places and where they're staying. She plans so thoroughly that even Violet doesn't have to add anything to her plans because they are just that rock solid. She hyperfixates so hard that when disruptions ruin her plans, she goes into ":[" mode-- god she's just like me fr

Hot take: We need more passive-aggressive Violet in the books. We just need it. It's funny. In fact, we need the girls all in all to be a little meaner, a little more shamelessly blunt, a little more unafraid of roasting the crap out of some people.

Hot take: The old profiles of the girls are crap. Like, actually crap. Sure they're thematic with the journalism profile thing and they're good at giving a general overview of their name, nationality, strengths and weaknesses passports/social security numbers, it is absolutely NOT a reliable method of getting a gist of what their personalities are like. Unfortunately as far as I'm aware, there's no real way of getting a good look at them and what they're like in a nutshell (besides maybe the occasional good fic and I guess I'll toss in the GS 101 slide here too), but even then it's like eeehhhhh, I feel like there's so much of them that can't be put into words but is also showcased really well in the Italian TS books mrrrrrr -m-

Hot take: Vissia/Vanilla/Vic de Vissen > Rebecca/Ruby/Ryder Flashyfur

These are the ones I have that can remember so far ^^

[ideas-4-stories]

helloooo! I am once again sharing the cross guild Argentina au ideas. the brainworms are brainworming

also, Romantic Cross Guild!

•Alone, Mihawk would only drink fernet straight up and treat it with as much reverence as a glass of wine. But! With Buggy he starts to be fond of sharing it back and forth as it is meant to, a drink to be shared and enjoyed, he starts to get more loose and eventually he learns to share the moments and be a part of a group that loves him just as much as he loves them. Crocodile wasn't fond of fernet to begin with, but he also got fond of it after Buggy taught them the love that can be shared with it.

•Buggy has an atrocious sweet tooth, borderline solid diabetes. What else did we expect from a clown? Anyways, aside from all the piracy criminal stuff that Cross Guild does, I genuinly think that Buggy would beg on his knees, on his hands, pouting, crying and doing the biggest pretty please he could so Crocodile lets him hire bakers so that they would make him his favourite facturas and sweets every morning and also sold off for a little profit, but mostly for him to eat at mreakfast and merienda. Crododile does try his hardest to resist the pouting clown but he's helpless and obligues after a little while. They now have the best bakers money can get in the island and Crocodile and Mihawk get sugary kisses every morning now. They might have started liking sugar more if it is in their daily clown kisses...but nobody has to know that shhh. Also now on their list of services to offer they have Sweet Argentinian Facturas among other silly little things like murder, kidnapping, taking down pirate ships, y'know, the usual.

•Crocodile is one of the only people in the whole island that drinks mate the bitterest shit yerba can get it and as hot as volcanic lava, nobody wants to drink with him. Mihawk doesn't drink mate, he's more of a terere guy, and Buggy drinks mate with one kilo of sugar on top and midly cold (hes just like me fr). So that's why all three only share the table they put the things on. Every evening at merienda time the table has one stanley termo (like a one liter thing that stores water and keeps it hot), one jug of iced juice, one flashy hand-painted classic metalic kettle, and a distressful amount of sweets and sandwiches and bizcochos of various types and forms. It is always full of color and warmth and love.

▪︎Buggy can and will gobble up a whole jar of dulce de leche with spoonfulls. Croco and Mihawk are horrified.

▪︎Mihawk mainly dresses whith white loose shirts, used to hot climate like in Cordoba. So the moment winter starts he does not go out at all, he is deep in blankets. Buggy and Croco are very amused, but also find it a little cute

▪︎Crocodile gets up at 6am no matter what, even worse, he is an old ass cranky morning person. Mihawk and Buggy do not like it but, he is THEIR old ass cranky morning person, what're they gonna do about it?

(In this AU I headcanon Karai Bari island as looking less tropical and more like the woods around El Bólson(a village?city?town?in argentina) incluiding all the mountains and cascades and rivers and lakes and woods there are there, so the next places i will name are real ones, you can google them i love them all)

•As their first official date together they decide that nothings better than the Bosque de las Hadas (Fairy Forest) because of how magical and quiet it is there, after all, the fairys and gnomes are just stories, right?

Well, turns out stories are there for a reason, the start the date and everything is beautiful and they have the whole forest to themselves so they go al lovey dovey and suddenly they start hearing weird shit until they have to run out of the forest with Crocodiles help. At the end they had a disastrous date and Mihawk was kinda devastated inside, cuz he had suggested the Fairie Forest, but his partners made sure to make him know that it was interesting anyway and they spent a good time even if they were chased off by tiny feral fairies. Smooches are required and they do...other things too...

•As for their next day, they try a place with less magic in it, they fo to the Waterfalls. They have to do a little hicking; Mihawk is unbothered and enjoying the forest, Crocodile cheats with his sand a little, and Buggy whines the whole way up even if he is enjoying it, his whining stops when Crocodile puts him up on his shoulders and does indecent and spontaneous ass-grabbing. The Waterfalls gets to witness public indecency. It is a beautiful and succesful second date.

oooops i got carried away. anyway thank u for your time! have a good day :}

Sorry it took so long to reply, many long projects for school came one after another. Then I had no motivation for some days, but I'm back and I just have to say that I love these ideas. Them drinking together with something they either don’t drink with others or don’t drink at all is so cute to imagine!

I’ve heard ideas where Devil Fruit users need something that gives them energy or something like that… it could be food of some sort or smoking. I wonder if that’s true, Buggy’s must be sugar. Poor Mihawk and Crocodile, watching Buggy eat an entire dinner worth of sugar a day like Crocodile smoking through a pack or two of cigars a day isn’t bad as well.

I’m chuckling because I see Mihawk popping his head out of some blankets with Crocodile and Buggy, thinking Mihawk is being so cute. Love that Crocodile is their cranky old person in the morning. Karai Bari being more woodland area than topical looks nice in my mind, the fairy forest with little feral fae chasing them is so funny to think about. I wonder who pissed them off? The second date is everything, Buggy complaining about the shits n giggles, then gets lifted up onto Crocodile’s shoulder, now able to see more things with price of some public indecency.

[sulfies]

can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p

[gimyung]

lookism brainrot otd:

varsity classmates headcanons !!

it's my first time doing a post of hcs like this so idk what i was doing or where i was going w it, but enjoy !! jus mainly their traits + some x reader interactions as a classmate ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

zack lee /////// 이진성

athleticism just wayyy over the roof. he's the jock of all jocks atp

he actually follows a strict regimen, and manages to outdo himself every time

nah cus this mf drinks his pre-workout mix few mins before lunch... because he actually intends to do workout during lunch 💀

despite being disciplined when it comes to working out and focused on hitting a new personal record every time, he's just bad when it comes to maintaining a proper diet

liiiike discipline just goes out the window when you open a bag of chips. he's right there before your hand even touches inside the bag 😭

he doesn't skip class, he's always present. there are times when he dozes off but not every time. instead he's just doodling, looking out the window, or sneakily checking soc med on his phone. bottom line is he's awake but his ass isn't reading 💀💀

he's surrounded by a solid friend group so it's hard to approach him, but he goes to you first when he needs help w studies

yeah he the type to copy ur homework lmfaoooo

though he's amazing at stuff when he puts his mind into it... like there'd be a time he would actually try not to fail his exams so that he can continue playing for varsity. he put in effort and turned out to be decent, esp science and english !!

he's good at english because he watches clips of pro athletes from around the world so he picks up a lot of it. lowkey self-taught, he ain't even realize he's a genius when it comes to absorbing information

he aint got the books tho. his bag all sports/gym stuff 😭 he switches seats w your seatmate cus he knows you're kind enough to share your book (and answers) to him

literally a jock w the way he always talks about his sport. "so are you a fan of ___?", "stayed up watching ___'s game"

but he's also encouraging and enthusiastic, "you can be an athlete too, it's not too late!"

the games on his phone are all sports games bless him

the typa jock to buy a ps5 first to play 2k BEFORE a proper mattress 😭😭

cares about his drip too, sneakerhead!zack is canon w the way jiho got scammed just to cop a pair for him

despite being a varsity player, he doesn't skip PE even though he technically can. he loves working out, getting extra exercise. everyone's intimidated tho cus ofc he just does better than the rest

but he's kind, doesn't judge, and instead encourages everyone to finish their PE tasks

"cmon you can do more sit ups!", "whoa nice, you'll do well in track n field", "if you do one more rep of this you'd actually withstand my coach's training", "yooo you jump that high? that's raw talent"

even the most unfit person in the class starts to love PE just because sweating it out w zack is fun <3

johan seong ///////성요한

he doesn't strike as the jock™ the same way zack does. underneath that uniform nobody knows that he's ripped. on that sleeper build fr

he's really quiet, and perhaps he won't be that well-known if he wasn't playing for the school and basically being a beast in his sport

enviable because nobody sees him put that much effort, but there he is... literally main character for his team. highkey talented (this shit canon tho johan really be talented af)

resting bitch face so nobody dares approach him, but when someone does, johan gives them the softest smile <3

he's just actually shy, he doesn't really know what to say or do when you tell him "johan, good luck on your next match"

johan: [nod and smile]

when it comes to his studies, he's so-so. he puts in just the right amount of effort. liiiike overall, no problems in this area

thing is, he just skips class from time to time. nobody, not even his coach, knows where tf he is or what he's doing 😭 but he keeps getting away with it because he's really so fucking talented

7 times out of 10 he has his homework done. bless this child

he just keeps getting away w being so chill (borderline nonchalant) about studies overall. he gets called to recite one time and he doesn't have the answers, but even his teacher aint mad

guess he really just charms everyone. like nobody wanna get in the way of the genius lol and he's unproblematic overall so nobody really can tell him shit

during breaks he just eats his food then takes a nap

but he's gotten really popular so some of the boiz try to chat him up and he vibes well with everyone. he doesn't have a bad personality whatsoever ^-^

when nobody's bothering him, johan loves to listen to music on his headphones (johan! headphones! imagine! literally begging !!)

even when training on his own. literally no one could bother him 😭 he doesn't even know the music's so loud and everyone can hear

(this one is self-serving but aren't all headcanons) johan probs just a chill person and even when working out he listens to krnb :-)

like that's it, no eurobeats or upbeat music. literally just him enjoying 2 things — getting better at his sport + listening to chill music

his drip: effortless. him just wearing plain everything, nothing flashy or branded, but god he's breathtaking

one time before class ended he got so restless, turns out he was looking for a ponytail or a makeshift one. he comes up to you to borrow your rubber band that you used to keep your bento in tact hehe

ppl in class figured this out, and on the following weeks some of them offered their ponytail to johan

some of them would insist to be the one to tie johan's hair. so some days he really training with pigtails and braids

he's still unbothered but not that unapproachable anymore. got close to the class by allowing everyone to play with his hair :0

jake kim /////// 김기명

jake's not really a bad student, but he skips the first period sometimes for a morning workout

he's a contender as a team captain so he really focuses on his sport, but at the same time he's lowkey diligent w/ his studies too

when he's in the mood to learn fr, he switches seats with another classmate who's seated in front. otherwise, he stays at the back and snoozes frm time to time

jake probs takes notes sometimes, but shitty handwriting 😭 he sometimes can't understand the shit he wrote cus he was falling asleep in class

great guy despite his popularity, so he doesn't have a hard time finding willing people to help him out in his studies (lending notes and reference materials)

he doesn't always have his homework with him, but he barely asks to copy

just a lil uncooperative with group projects, he literally dashes to the gym after class to train. he got his goals straight and ur project is at the bottom of the priority list. oh well :(

but really, nice guy. everybody's his friend and he's not hard to approach at all. lowkey fans would come up and take pics with him and he doesn't pose properly ever. always gotta look goofy ...

like his teammates can't even get mad at the obvious bias of people towards jake. jake's just so fucking nice

doesn't even have to bring lunch money cus ppl willing to pay for his meals from time to time. and he's a big eater 😭

gets accused of sweet talking his way out of some of his bad grades, being a teacher's pet bc even teachers love this guy. they give him lots of chances during recitations until he gets the answer right

he's in the middle of super athlete zack & chill athlete johan. like he's goal-oriented, disciplined, focused, but he's not obsessed

this guy never skips practice, but on the weekends he relaxes and chills w his friends at the mall/park/cafe

um he has a motivational quote as his lock screen haha.... he just the type to do it ....

and he really hates it when one of his classmates are getting picked on. singlehandedly ended bullying in his school, slay

everyone just follows his peace-loving nature. like if you like jake and you're a friend of jake, you're never supposed to do shit to others

drip: uniform too tight lol (canon) (even that tracksuit hugging his chest well)

he !! remembers !! everyone's !! names !!

like introduce yourself once to jake and he will say hello to you if he passes by you in the hallway

"yo ___, wru heading to" like he asking empty questions the way you would with an acquaintance but it means a lot cus he knows your name

got teased to run for student council despite his busy sched, actually won cus he's popular 😭 mf aint even attend meetings but this win just furthered his agenda of a peace-loving school

anddd because of jake, other sports teams in school are envious of his team because the entire student body are more inclined to going to their matches to support their friend <3

atp jake aint even allowed to be benched cus coach thinks he might get booed for it. everybody wanna see jake play cmon

got everyone moving like a stage dad w the way they'd watch jake's games and cheer for him, always rooting for him

anywayssss that's all for hcs for now !! lmk if you liked this thing, i appreciate every feedback hehe :--) idk where i was going w this so!! hope yall enjoyed or something

shoutout to mica for engraving jock!zack in my head

[absentmindedadmirer]

MISTER FUMIYA ITO REALLY MEANT IT WHEN HE SAID THEY WERE HIS SIX CUTE LITTLE MENSERVANTS ! ! !

I was freaking out over this all night. So I woke up and now the thoughts have been ruminating. BUT THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!! Fumiya certainly puts a whole lot of emphasis on all of them being together as a group, he's the one who got them all together and our little fourth-wall breaking dude who's aware of everything-- the charsima charges, the charisma breaking, everything. So it means everything to me that he's included them in his break.

THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM!!! THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO HIM !!!!

I feel {I'm projecting} that you can faintly hear the other 6 in the backgrounds of Ohse, Saru, and Amahiko's solos. But it's faint!!! It's so faint but like they are always there in the background because they are the ones that are always cheering the person who broke on, the one being their background support. And then those guys just bounced off of that.

For Ohse, these guys are cheering him on. That's why he was able to do the things he did because he could hear the other guys and that's all the motivation he needs.

For Saru, he receives the cheering and their support as validation. They're confirming that he's cool, they're supporting him!! Making him feel seen.

For Amahiko, they're like background dancers/support for his sexiness. They're always there, he's never thought twice about it, they're to always exist in his presence. That fact is just like any other fact.

Fumi... he knows. He's well aware that the charisma charge was a group effort-- he's aware of how much they contribute. He THANKS them and he places them on the front stage WITH him.

I think there's just a huge emphasis on them as a group-- as a team-- as a collective-- and I think this is the only thing that's going to be in my brain for a solid moment.

=== ALSO HYPMIC FANS GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS. IF YOU'VE LISTENED TO RIO'S SILLY ASS SOLO, COME OVER HERE LISTEN TO THIS AND THE WHOLE DISCOGRAPHY, YOU WON'T??!?!?!??!

I've already vocal kin-assigned them with much deliberation and cross reference. Fumiya = Samatoki with the energy of someone who just wants to go home

Rikai = Jyuto, that's a perfect match what the hell.

Saru = Dice, both howling out bars fr

Iori = Gentaro, that's no lie.

Ohse = Jyushi tone, Doppo energy

Terra = Saburo, why are they sticking so many effects in there-LeGaCy

Amahiko = Jakurai after he's downed too many bottles of alcohol. (MY FRIEND SAYING SEXY JAKURAI LIKE THAT MAN ISNT. ALREADY.)

=== {screams into the void} I will personally skip and twirl down the crsm rabbithole with anyone.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

honestly this has me all in my feelings fr ー

growing up in golden grove, tamarack and i have spent a lot of time at the diner table. it's been our tradition since i moved into the cul-de-sac (isn't all of our traditions lmao?). first it's always if we're in a group

mom1, me, tamarack

granny, gramps, me, tamarack

some of those mom2 visits, mom1, me, tamarack

or hell sometimes even qiu and his folks are there because we're all just little ass kids. we're in the first of the double digits, the solid 10. we're broke and dependent as hell so of course we're usually there with adult supervision

but once we're old enough to comfortably go into the local diner without the adult supervision, it's just an us thing

finals are over? let's celebrate at the diner

aced a concert? hell did a concert not go as plan? time for a diner pick-me-up

so when tam and i are finally grown and living on our own, stopping by the dinner table is a must because sure we're not kids anymore but it's got a special place in our heart

[onehunnit]

March Comebacks/Debuts that I Caught!* *in no particular order, non-exhaustive, and all songs were released between March 1st and March 30th.

Playlist

Lighthouse by Tempest: At first I was like 'ugh, boring bg song tomato tomato" but I listened to it when I was not exhausted and I actually really enjoy it? Like its charming and has personality. To be clear my frame of reference for Tempest is Hyeongseop falling off his chair when meeting Taemin and Vroom Vroom. But this is so fucking cute I love it. More concepts like this actually…. BUT DONE WELL! However, this song is very forgettable…..

Body by Highlight: they said "SHAKE YOU BODY YOU BODY YOUR BODY YOUR BODY RIGHT" and I DID! I like this song it feels like summer. However. The whistling in the chorus makes me wanna rip my hair out. I fr thought we left that back in the 2010s, alas.

Do Doom Chit by VVUP: do doom chit is actually a bit of a banger… ngl at first I was like "what." but she grew on me and with a QUICKNESS.

FRI(END)S by V: V come through w/ the vocals king!!!! This song is so cute and should have been a valentines day release. It's short, yes, but I don't think it needs to be more than it is. I do wish this wasn't a single though… this belongs as an interlude on a full length album sry!!!! Also reminds me of the 70s pop that spencer sutherland has on his music. Heyuyyy what a thought

HEYDAY by XODIAC: this would've gone triple platinum in my room circa 2017… Like with Lighthouse we need more of this concept well-executed. And for my ballad lovers out there WONDERFUL TONIGHT off the same mini is for you!!!!

Fresh by Daniel Jikal: Wish there were more variation his his flow and wasn't so predictable. There's nothing special here but there is always way to improve. This feels very… the mediocre 2018 rappers who were popping up all over the place. And that's okay!

Lucky by Hori7on: These nugu groups be working their asses off and when they do they make absolute bangers like this. I am not a fan of whistling but it actually accompanies the production well. Lucky and Body are brothers in arms fr. THE CHORUS BANGS SO HARD I CAN'T LIEEE. Even the chant hook is nice like, the composers/producers/arrangers were in their bag man. I can get over the whistles fr. This is like AJU NICE but for 5th gen.

Nectar by THE BOYZ: Boy groups this month decided to give us soft nostalgia pop BANGERS and ofc THE BOYZ did not disappoint. I love this trend, MORE PLEASE!!! Btw if you like this song you'll like HEYDAY and Lighthouse for sure….

BBB by Purple Kiss: The girls will always slay with their vocals and songs, but that chorus is… not it madames. Catchy as hell but man, when you got a song like Sweet Juice it's really fucking hard to keep it up. unfortunately this was a miss from them….

Rooftop by YooA: Yeah… she slayed. I know nothing about YooA or much about OH MY GIRL but she came out and did her little thing with this one. It's not a song i'll be playlisting but she did do her thing fr.

Fuego by THE NEW SIX: She had to grow on me. She is still trying to grow on me. She is not growing much admittedly. The rap after the first chorus barely salvages it for me. I think I've just listened too much to songs like this before and I'm tired of it. By no means is it bad just not for me, and that's okay.

12. Smoothie by NCT Dream: this song is just uh… very…. well 🤷🏾‍♀️ They did release it as their title!

Superwoman by UNIS: You know what? Solid debut. The afrobeats trend is not leaving for a bit i fear… And

Neuron by J.Hope ft Gaeko, yoonmirae: I will always be a fan on boom bap in kpop and by god did they boom and man did they bap. J-hope will forever be serving us good ass hiphop. BUT MOST OF ALL YOONMIRAE ON THIS TRACK I SAW AND I SCREAMED FR! man. i fucking love yoonmirae this feature took the cake for me.

Birth by ARTMS : I need this song tattooed on my brain this is the vibe i was expecting w/ NCT Dream's new release….. if i dare say it. But she is genuinely too short… PLEASE GIVE HER MORE TIME TO SLAY. What a wonderful ARTMS debut the loona girlies WILL keep killing it (and me)

Broken Hearts by AMPER&ONE: This is fun! But like with Fuego, she has a lot to do to grow on me.

Baddest Behavior by Tempest (jp debut): four minutes i crode 😭🙌🏾, i liked it enough to listen, but I'm more impressed at how they were able to make a 4 minute song so strong without making it feel like filler.

Wish You Hell by WENDY: She's a good song,,,, but is this a WENDY song? Think about that for me. I mean I still love it but this is WENDY we're talking about.

EENIE MEENIE by Chungha ft Hongjoong: MOTHER IS BACK!!!!! Chungha did NOT have to kill us with I'm Ready and she did not have to bury us in the grave with EENIE MEENIE not only is the song catchy as fuck w/ fun production omfg…. the hongjoong feature set it from awesome to SPECTACULAR bc that rap is soooo mind melting in how good it is delivered and 2 the flow is insane.

Good Girl by Candy Shop: The beat switch in at the end of the pre-choruses should have been kept for the chorus but they didn't?!?! literally why and what the fuck it would have ELEVATED the song so much. But this is classic alt/contemporary rnb. The modulation in the song is well-done and keeps it interesting but and they finally kept the beat for the end, at least. But why give us a taste of heaven to just go back into the regular chorus ahhhhhh.

[iknow-im-cute]

Do yall think that Vecna was so pissed because:

1. A group of mostly middle schoolers kept ruining his plans for world domination.

2. There was only one person with powers in the group(Eleven), but her powers still had limits.

3. Their plans were never solid but they always worked in the end.

Because that's just pathetic tbh. I think if I was Vecna, I'd actually quit.

Side note:

I'm a little pissed that nobody tried to save Billy. Like, Will's lame ass is allowed to roam the earth with THAT haircut, but Billy needs to die?? Also, plsssss... I could fix himmmmmmm😭😭😭😩😩😩😩😩 yall don't understand😫😤 lemme fix Billy fr. I swear I could🙄

Just gimme a chance yalll, I swear I could make him better😭

[venuspessimist]

I made a playlist for every month in 2023

I mean you read the title :/

Okay but fr, Last year I decided to to an ongoing art project of sorts where I would pick a song each day to add to a playlist of the month.

Rules for this included no repeat songs in any of the playlist, meaning altogether I have complied 365 unique songs representing my year.

I didn't really have any plans to do anything with it besides just look at in awe and think art how cool ig I am for actually committing to that for a whole year. But, now that I a starting my second year on 'song diaries' as I have dubbed them I thought it would be fun to document all this nonsense somewhere.

Which leads me to this: tbh I have 0 expectations of anyone reading this but me so here! This is my January 2023 playlist:

Now a disclaimer before listening this is 100% my taste in music and is all over the place. I have no defense for the amount of k pop and MCR made it onto these.

Oh before you go I also forgot to mention I also made a playlist that I am adding my top 5 songs from each month to!

For a lot of these playlists, songs were added for very specific reasons so I thought it would be fun to do a kind of 'awards'!

SO for January my top 5 songs are!

Party Poison- My Chemical Romance

Like I said, I don't have a defense. It is what it is. and what it is is that this was was and always will be a bop. This song never fails to get me pumped. Like I don't even have to explain that the vocals on this are fabulous and the instrumental is ON from start to finish. It's MCR they don't miss.

2. Eden- Sub-Radio

Okay, this fucking song had me in a headlock last January. Idk what crack is in it but it will worm its way into your brain until you listen to in on repeat for a few days. The upbeat pop sound and the lead singers voice just reel you in. I stg I listened to this song so much it managed to get a pretty solid rank 35 on my Spotify wrapped.

3. Strange Love- Simple Creatures

Idek what to say about this song. If you don't know who Simple Creatures are you are seriously missing out. Its the stage name for two EPs released by Mark Hoppus of Blink-182 and Alex Gaskarth from All Time Low. And when I say that their discography is NO SKIP. It is very likely that more of their music will make this list, however this song dominated my January.

4. The Haunting (Acoustic)- Set it Off

This track made this list because it is perfect to feel a certain sorta way real fast. Like Idk maybe it's the recovering emo kid in me that knows every word to many of Set it Off's classic songs that just loves this version so much. It doesn't so too much, it is just right imo. If you like being able to scream-sing along to semi cringe emo lyrics with a sick beat or if you've got a bitch ass ex who didn't deserve you this song if for you.

5. Warm Blood- Flor

This was my crying song this time last year. And man, does it still hit. When I was re-listening to this playlist to pick a top 5 I immediately knew this had to be on the list, it just brought back too many memories. Such an emotional track. Beautifully sung vocals and overall great listening experience. Love this group and all their songs but this one in particular is special.

Okay Ig that's enough for now. Idk if I will post my February playlist or song choices or anything...we'll see :)

[ram-de]

[read] ravensong thoughts vomit (pt. 2)

who tf is dale AHHHHH I just want my son (38 years old) to be happy and enjoying life stop being so blue😔 but he hasn't moved on WHY IS GORDO SO SIMILIAR TO OX AUGHHHH

Gordo hasn't healed yet because he kept being dragged into shits hshsjsjsjjs

They're pushing robbie and Kelly hard which honestly I don't mind their antics are soooo cute😂 i also felt like the dynamics is gonna be different (quiet cat ox/talkalot pup joe, grumpy bitter old man gordo/sad uncle mark), Kelly is portrayed to be the softer one (tho he seems like a copy of Carter at times since they're always a package except for that one Ox/Kelly and gordo/Kelly scene) while robbie seems to be a glass canon, WHICH MAKES A GOOD DISASTER PAIR. pleaseeee less angst for their book mr klune😔 also let's switch things up by having the non-bennets courting the other... UAGSHSJSHHE DO I SKIP THIS ANGSTY BOOK AND JUMP INSTEAD(no I won't)

Ok so speciesicm exists in this world. calling an omega 'IT' like an animal too??? THE WOLF GOVERNMENT IS ROTTEN AT THE CORE

can we send my son (38 years old) to therapy please

Bruh omegas are just lost soul like no wonder they wander for a pack... someone help them😔

man gordo really picked up from his old man Marty... Smoke a lot... Swear a lot... Likes fixing cars. If Mark were indeed there at the funeral and couldn't bother to console my grieving son than I don't know what else was so important mark.... APOLOGISE TO MY SON NOW

Has been in my mind how come gordo is so sad when he has like a solid friend group (love u rico tanner and chris), they even bother him, visits him and drag him to hangouts. Was gordo that closed off?? Some pain aren't meant to be shared but how I wish he'd let people help...

they're so lively😭 THEY'RE MENACES HSGSHSJSH I love my old man crews

this bar chapter is top tier I'm cackling hshshsh they're so silly NOT CARTER?? NOT ELIZABETH SHSGSJSJ STOPP SHE'S A REFINED LADY

😐😮‍💨 not again it was going so well am I here to be tortured by pain HAVE MY SON GORDO NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH why can't mark just BACK OFFF

Can we not do infidelity can mark just leave gordo alone HAS HE APOLOGIZED YET? NO? EXACTLY....!!

Is this long ass excerpt about gordo pissing really needed for the story...... Um. I'll take this over him hurting so you know what? Keep pissing, gordo!

Mark you cheater EUGH

I love my son gordo for standing his ground he is just like ox fr

THE ALPHA SOCIETY LIED A LOTTTT I know for sure Richard has been an insider job. Hunters rampage. They need some method of eradicating. Thus. Robert livingstone being freed. Some sort of magic to keeps people head not saying too much. Pappas is a puppet. What else? What's the grand plan here. Hunters eradication but extends to human in packs.

Gordo has been carrying the safety of the town FOR YEARS!! manipulating civilians memories so they didn't know werewolves and magics. And knowing there's only one (1) witch in the town HES DOING ALL OF IT???

INFECTION... ZOMBIES... MINDLESS DRONES...

Nooooo mark got bit😔

SHUT IT ELIZABETH YOU DON'T GET TO PUSH GORDO TO FORGIVE MARK!! NOT WHEN YOU. ALSO. LEFT. HIM!! And didn't even bother send a letter!

Also mark hasn't even told what his story was. He just kept. "You don't understand!" got cut off "But I tried when I could!" doesn't change the fact that you still left wolf boy AND got cut off "I've been telling you! You don't know the-"

AUGH whatever mark is gonna turn feral (coz I read the chapter list) and then gordo somehow saved him coz he's hi is tether or something or the wooden raven yea yea that tracks

I live my grumpy protective uncle gordo he's such a menace sometimes

fuck I teared up a bit again don't die mark...😔

no no no no robbie sweetheart we are not going to justify Thomas benett leaving his witch alone to fend for himself shit it with being forced! He have. Choices!

ox is awesome indeed hzgzhsbejhzus

noo noo NOOO WITCH PATRICE we are not condoning Thomas Bennet being a prick alpha just because "he made mistakes" SHUT YOUR MOUTH OFF

Gordo's tether being the wooden raven mark gave him, not mark himself. But what,what he promised, what could have been, the memories of pack and clumsy kisses and all of that youth before, before. Gordo my son😭 im taking him to therapy

Girl why do these wolf hunters talk like anime characters (which I like) THEY'RE SO Edgy BRUH THEIR SPEECH TAKES UP LIKE 3 PAGES LONG!! all of that saying bunch of complex words that I don't even know what do they're saying (I'm not a native speaker💀)

GRABHH I DONT KNOW THE CHRISTIAN LORE SO ALL THIS REFERENCE IS LOST ON ME??? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING GIRL I can feel the literacy skills leaving my brain

So is she doing a sermon while running ahead of the wolves? Or maybe she's dragged by the wolves on leash? Or is she like, stopping to make speech, and then running again? If she run, can gordo even hear all the sermon?? And if she's not running, how far are they? Who's listening to you girl😂

I just resized the text to make it smaller and lord save me💀 AGHHHH I HATE LONG PARAGRAPHS MAKE IT STOP I DONT KNOW WHERE TO READDD

Meredith king im sorry to break it to you, but you're a chuunibyou girl😔

Fucking finally. Mark it only took you 54% way through the book to admit. That. You. Are. To blame. GOSH. it took longer than it should. A near-death gordo. AND GOROD DONT DOWNPLAY IT PLS

Gordo is being an asshole BECAUSE HE HAS ALL THE RIGHT TOOO fuck mark honestly,, I will always back you up my son

I still feel like mark's apology isn't enough for me to forgive (it was not my place to forgive lmao) but so long as my son gordo is healing and seeing green and not more blue then thats fine as well. Mark you're on thin ice

😭 finally... Cuties

Don't worry gordo even if u absolve thomas bennett of his wrongdoing I will carry the resentment enough for both of us

I AGREE there's too much entangled plots like what do you mean there's evil alpha society, wolf hunters, infection shit and gordo's daddy issues ?????? I liked the first half better. Book 1 better (age issue aside)

Why do I feel like the past 50 pages until now has been a drag... Like pacing issues? Tension issues? One time tension is all high like live or death then next page it's all OK and rico's joking about something and then another conclict issues and then suddenly non-solved but ok for now like?

It's all been happening for like 1-2 days?? Hello?😭 I feel like too much is developed... There is a lot to unpack I know BUT SPACE IT OUT???

What the fluff this is a bit violent with bloods and claws (I'm a bit vanilla)... Anyways...

pup mark's thoughts :(

FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT AGAIN. screw him I'M GONNA DANCE IN HIS GRAVE GOOD THING HE dyed his hair into the color of ash or something. FUCKING THOMAS BENNETT AND HIS ALPHA "FAMILY ABOVE ALL" BULLSHIT YOU LEFT ONE OF YOUR OWN FOR WHAT???

THANK YOU THANK YOU MARK YESSS SURGE THE POWER OF ANGER. RISE. RISE RISE RISE.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I FUCKING HATE THOMAS I'M TURNING INTO RICHARD COLLINS AAAAGHHHJHHJ fuck character flaws fuck humane traits because I'm so... RESENTFUL. HE NEVER APOLOGIZED TO GORDO WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN. all of my son gordo's resentment is valid AND justifiable. Consider yourself lucky he forgave you. AAGHHH THE HATE IS CONSUMING ME

can we just let them sleep plz there's like 20years of angst resolved just... This is what I meant about the wonky tension shgdshsjshs it's such a whiplash

can we not have thomas back in the story again HES DEAD FOR FUCK SAKE AUGHJTTT SCREW CLOSURE HE DOESN'T DESERVE CLOSURE

Who is this timber wolf and why is he cute and possessive

My uncle gordo is protective and clumsy and cute and NOOO CARTER :'(

shut up Elizabeth if Thomas rly loved gordo he should tell him himself when he had the time. AND HE HAD ALL THE TIME! before he's dead. So. BACK OFF MY SON