#solang diaries

[azsdiary]

Love.

Yesterday I picked up a Bible and it opened to Song of Solomon 5:10. What a beautiful love song, and how my heart longed for more when it was finished. But I know it was the length it was supposed to be.

I watched tems music videos by auto play by accident yesterday morning. I like her. She makes being black look soft and warm. It is on the inside.

I’ve never seen that expressed outwardly. I’ve seen soft and cold (Jhene), or warm and tough (City girls) but this felt different. It felt Nice.

I made some loose friends kind of this week. 2 who said they’d take me out or abroad and another 2 who said the same, that they’d let me know when there’s a nice party on.

They said they were totally ok if I don’t want to dance or have ‘high’ vibes all the time. I Took a deep breath and tried to believe them. Ik that sounds so dramatic.

I’ve lost friends over not being high vibes all the time. I thought they were asking because they were concerned for my mental health but they were just annoyed that I came out with low vibes.

I guess that’s what happens when you see people as social accessories to boost your mood, instead of humans to support and care for. I understand that being negative or toxic draining energy warrants social removal. I don’t think being quiet is under that category. Ooh I want cookies oh no!

It’s kinda funny because when I approached the meaner girl from before to explore a friendship I thought she looked mean and carried herself in a possibly haughty way. Guess it was discernment all along.

Yesterday I found out I’m healthy! BMI blood sugar and pressure. I think, in this new era I can take ugly pictures and have memories. I don’t have any. I should get a Polaroid maybe.

Making peace with who I am and how others will see that. Just saw an ad for magic Mike live. We live in a fallen world people!! Ttyl xx

[livin222dream]

i just wanna wake up to the sun, and saint laurent☀️🌷

[joslincox]

Ozzy and Drix Vibes Album Recommendations

1. St. Lunatics - Free City (2001)

Nelly - Country Grammar (2000), Nellyville (2002), Sweat and Suit (both 2004)

Murphy Lee - Murphy's Law (2003)

2. Destiny's Child - The Writing's On The Wall (1999), Survivor (2001), and Destiny Fulfilled (2004)

Beyoncé - Dangerously In Love (2003)

Kelly Rowland - Simply Deep

3. 50 Cent - Get Rich Or Die Tryin' (2003)

4. Solange - Solo Star (2002)

5. Aaliyah - her self-titled album (2002)

6. Craig David - Born To Do It (2000) and Slick Than Your Average (2002)

7. Usher - 8701 (2001) and Confessions (2004)

8. Trick Daddy - Thugs Are Us (2001)

9. Ludacris - World of Mouf (2001) and The Red Light District (2004)

10. Nappy Roots - Watermelon, Chicken & Gritz (2002)

11. Eminem - The Slim Shady LP (1999), The Marshall Matthews LP (2000), The Eminem Show (2002), and Encore (2004)

12. Nivea - her self-titled album (2001)

13. TLC - Fanmall (1999) and 3D (2002)

14. Christina Millian - her self-titled album (2002) and It's About Time (2004)

15. Outkast - Stankonia (2000) and Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003)

16. Lil' Bow Wow - Beware of Dog (2000) and Doggy Bag (2001)

17. B2K - their self-titled album and Pandemonium (both 2002)

18. Ms. Toi - That Girl (2001)

19. Trina - Da Baddest (2000) and Diamond Princess (2002)

20. Ray J - This Ain't a Game (2001)

21. R. Kelly - TP-2.com (2000) and Chocolate Factory (2003)

22. Sisqo - Unleash The Dragon (1999) and Return of Dragon (2001)

23. Fabolous - Ghetto Fabolous (2001) and Street Dreams (2003)

24. Brandy - Full Moon (2002) and Afrodisiac (2004)

25. Ashanti - her self-titled album (2002), Chapter II (2003) and Concrete Rose (2004)

26. Chingy - Jackpot (2003)

27. Black Eyed Peas - Elephunk (2003)

28. Ja Rule - Rule 3:36 (2000), Pain Is Love (2001), and The Last Temptation (2002)

29. Lil' Romeo - his self-titled album (2001) and Game Time (2002)

30. Ciara - Goodies (2004)

31. Kelis - Tasty (2003)

32. Alicia Keys - Songs in A Mirror (2001) and The Diary of Alicia Keys (2003)

33. Avant - My Thoughts (2000), Ecstasy (2002) and Private Room (2003)

34. Jay-Z - The Blueprint (2001) and The Gift & the Curse (2002)

35. Snoop Dogg - Paid tha Cost to Be da Boss (2002) and R&G (Rhythm & Gangsta): The Masterpiece (2004)

36. Nas - Stillmatic (2001) and God's Son (2002)

37. Cam'ron - Come Home With Me (2002)

38. Busta Rhymes - Genesis (2001) and It Ain't Safe No More (2002)

39. 3LW - their self-titled album (2002) and A Girl Can Mack

40. Eve - Scorpion (2001) and Eve-Olution (2002)

41. Lil Kim - The Nortorious K.I.M (2000) and La Bella Mafia (2003)

42. Mystikal - Let's Get Ready (2000) and Tarantula (2001)

43. Joe - My Name Is Joe (2000)

44. M.O.P - Warriorz (2000)

45. Ice Cube - War & Peace Vol. 2 (2000)

46. Ginuwine - 100% Ginuwine (1999), The Life (2001) and The Senior (2003)

47. O'Ryan - his self-titled album (2004)

48. Blaque - their self-titled album (1999)

49. Mya - Fear of Flying (2000) and Moodering (2003)

50. Nodesha - her self-titled album (2003)

51. Missy Elliott - Fa Real World (1999), Miss E... So Addictive (2001), and Under Construction (2002)

52. Case - Personal Conversation (1999) and Open Letter (2001)

53. Dr. Dre - 2001 (1999)

54. Latif - Love In The First (2003)

55. Houston - It's Already Written (2003)

56. Olivia - her self-titled album (2001)

57. Sunshine Anderson - Your Woman (2001)

58. Lil Mo - Based On A Ture Story (2001)

59. India.Arie - Acoustic Soul (2001) and Voyage to India (2002)

60. Amerie - All I Have (2002)

61. Monica - After The Strom (2003)

62. Mario - his self-titled album (2002)

63. Tyrese - 2000 Watts (2001) and I Wanna Go There (2002)

64. Mary J. Blige - Mary (1999) and No More Drama (2001)

65. Janet Jackson - All For You (2001)

66. Mariah Carey - Rainbow (1999)

67. Timbaland & Magoo - Indecent Proposal (2001)

68. Tweet - Southern Hummingbird (2002)

[solanger]

wednesday, 29th may - 03:29

i have never used tumblr before. i never had it as a tween, and i only really knew it was a thing when we were all in lockdown. even then, i didn't have it and i didn't know what was going on here. i still very much don't.

today i start my online diary. i start because i'm not great with keeping up with my written one - my last entry was last year august. so much has happened since, e.g. uni, and i have no energy to catch up. so i start afresh now, on tumblr.

this is my first entry. i have nothing new to add. maybe i should talk about me.

i am 18, foundation year of uni studying astrophysics in wales. i love marvel. i collect guinness world record books. i live eat and breathe music, my name probably gives that away lol. solange and kendrick are my favourite artists. i also really like sza, steve lacy, kaytranada, fleetwood mac and beach bunny. i want to start getting into laufey and hozier. i like going on walks, especially by the seaside. i am a summer person. i hate the cold (but i do like snow). i wear my heart on my sleeve, a very emotional person. i will literally cry at anything and everything. i daydream a lot at any given circumstance. that's usually why i'm awake so late. what else? i'll think of more as i carry on this blog.

i have an exam, my final exam of the year, on friday (31st may). it's so weird how i've already finished my first year of uni, i'm sure i started yesterday. how time flies by when you're having fun. also crazy how i got into and out of a whole relationship within this one year. it sucks and is astonishing at the same time.

i can't wait to *officially* start summer. i want to go to the beach, picnic with my friends on fields, go to random places we find on tiktok, party!!, and most importantly be happy. i usually sound like a ted talker when i talk about happiness, it's my biggest motto and main goal in life. again, that will be talked about as time goes on.

it is now 03:40, so i think it's best i scroll through pinterest to daydream about a life i wish i lived while listening to... solange!!

talk soon!

mali

[tsukiyadori]

Reading (Watching) Log 2024.02-2024.03 - February-March

Previous: Reading Log 2023.12-2024.01 - December-January

Finding the good things be just like chasing after elusive bubbles and wondering how long they'll last

Reading languages: German, English, French, Japanese, not listing which was what

Titles are as I’ve read them either first or most and thus remember it for that title mostly

Not going to bother putting in the original titles of translated reads unless there is something worthy of note to it

Cursive titles have been completed

Tumblr's four thousand so and so max characters per block is annoying as hell

——————————————————————————

FEBRUARY

JNC Nina licenses Unnamed Memory both in French in February and German in March. And so now I am reading it for a second and third time simultaneously and also got a subscription for it and then you gotta not waste the buffet, do you?

The reason I never subbed to the JNC English site was because I feared I'd never read my other backlog if I'd get roped into chasing expiry deadlines over all the time, so there was extra zeal on that too avoid the nightmare scenario.

And soooo the LN pile read off has had an increase not seen in years.

Light Novels:

Anime Supremacy

Bottom Tier Character Tomozaki LN 8.5-9

Hell Mode v1-2.7

I Met You After the End of the World v1-2

See You When the Snow Falls

Spice & Wolf v21

The Apothecary Diaries v1-2

The Eminence in Shadow v1

Unnamed Memory LN v1.p1

Manga:

100-nengo ni Tenseishita Watashi, Zense no Juukishi ni Kyuukonsaremashita: Heika wa Watashi ga Moto Oujo da to Okizukidenai you desu ch15.1-3

A Certain Scientific Accelerator v10-v12

A Certain Scientific Railgun v17-18

A Kingdom of Quartz ch1

A Side Character's Love Story ch35.2-50.1

After God ch53-54

Alabaster ch5.3-10.2

Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch15-16.1

Beauty as the Beast ch36-49

Black Butler v31

Bloody Bites at Boarding School v1

Boku no Diamond Star final chapter

Bottom Tier Character Tomozaki Manga ch8-24.2

Buta no Liver wa Kanetsushiro ch33-34.4

Captain Ken ch1-7

Close to your Skin

Daijuukou to Unicornis no Otome ch14.1

Dance Dance Danseur v1-3 (JP v1-6)

Dekiru Neko wa Kyou mo Yuuutsu ch104

Der Geschmack nach Melone v1

Diamond in the Rough v1

Die Braut des Wasserdrachen v8-9 (out of order read)

Gebt mir mehr, bitte sehr v2

Geliebter Wetterfrosch v2ch6-11

Girl Crush ch62-63, ch81-82

Give Her Back to Me

Gleipnir v2-9, ch59-88

Haikyu v34-39

Harebare Biyori ch23.1

Hari to Hitsuji no Fune ch9.1-2

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Meguri ch19.1-2

I have a Crush at Work ch1

I'm cute enough to get away with it ch20

Iki Dekinai no wa Kimi no Sei: Super Pink

In the Sunset ch0-12

Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch17.2-4

Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch10-11.2

Kijima-san & Yamada-san ch1-6

Knitter's High ch25-26.2

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch79

Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch11.1-2

Lust auf ein Date? v9-10

Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku ch18.2-4

Mr. Villain's Day Off ch54-64

My Awkward Senpai ch1-37

Okaeri Aureole

Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru node Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch23.2-3

Oshi no Ko ch139

Our Dedication

Porno Superstar

Porträt eines Vampirs v2

Ran the Peerless Beauty v4

Reincarnated as the Daughter of the Legendary Hero and the Queen of Spirits ch19.4-58

Rental Girlfriend v19

Requiem Of The Rose King v9-10

Resist Destiny v3ch10-15

Ride-On King v3

Sakura, Saku v3ch11

Sasaki and Miyano v7

She is also cute today ch52-75

Shinde Miro to Iwareta no de Shinimashita. ch9-10

Shuumatsu Touring ch35

Sky Link v1

Snow Fairy v1

Snowball Earth v2-5

Solange wir zusammen sind v1

Sonna Kazoku nara Sutechaeba? ch64-66

Sooper Spooky ch1-4

Spice & Wolf - Die Abenteuer von Col und Miyuri v1-2

Suicide Notes Laid on the Table ch1-9

Sweet & Tart Boyfriend Ch39-53

Take Over Zone v1ch5

The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten ch13.3-14.1

The Diamond of Heart v3ch11-15

The Heroic Legend of Arslan v12ch71-76

The Ice Guy and the Cool Girl ch16-38

The Killer Inside v1-6, ch53-97

The Villainess's Guide to (Not) Falling in Love ch12.2-15.1

To be Winner ch76-114

Together Forever ch36.2-42.2

Tomorrow, make me yours

Unnamed Memory Manga ch34.1

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch35.1-36.1

Zombie 100 v10ch38

Webtoons:

Breed my Dear Enemy ch92-110

Can the Grand Duke and the Marquis be Friends? ch13-32

Flowers in the Secret Place ch1-52

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira ch8-41

Marry my Enemy ch8-60.5

SOS My Love has a Bug ch0-3

Spirit of Peach Blossom ch49-80

Taberare Usa ch88-92

The Giantess wants Love ch96-170

The Mermaid Wears a Dress ch38-60

The Villainess Behind the Mask ch1-53

To be or not to be ch12-36

Non-Fiction:

Some Greek mythology book (ISBN 9789463598965)

Notes:

Bottom Tier Character Tomozaki LN 8.5-9 Wow. Wow. So I thought volume 8 was kinda really not too great for me, but ultimately that (and v8.5) are built up to volume 9, and ho boy was this a surprise. It even starts right off with doing the right thing about dating - talking it out - then root issues and problems are being pointed out and then there is also still the Popol and the Fireling analogy going on. And Kikuchi's then even in world essentially totally realizing that she is effectively up against narrative fate. And then there is Hinami. And it's not like Tomozaki has a crush on her, like he does with Kikuchi. While he can perfectly be attracted to her, it's not like he has all the crushy feels he has for Kikuchi. But that bond is there. And it's so paramount, most important he's ready to let go from Kikuchi, when it looks like he can't have both without some sort of suffering happening somewhere. At this point I steadfastly declare this series as being pretty much queer. I thought this before already, that Tomozaki isn't really all that straight, like he is easily attracted to a lot of the girls, but also he's got the heart flutter moment with Misuzawa already and just generally looks up at him copying it. If this had wanted to take a BL turn, this wouldn't really have come out of nowhere either. While this potential route probably is not ever going to be explored, what he has there with Hinami just screams queerplatonic to me. They have all the issues of naming and describing it, the next best thing they can tangibly go for is, she is his mentor in the game of life. But there is definitely more going on from both sides, and at least for Tomozaki it's overly clear how huge her existence is in his life. And he longs to keep it. But it's not the same thing he has with Kikuchi and what's more Kikuchi just.... gets it. And yes, it's a queasy and axiety inducing, but ultimately that ending being like all in the break up mood and she being like she's gotta make a decision herself, so asks him to let her make the request - how often do we get a girl finally stands up to make a decision for herself to end things? Not Kikuchi, she does the entire opposite. Rather than ending it, she reinforces that ending of v7, that this is a selfish wish, but she desires him. And it's not just her crush, it's because he also is her ideal Popol. Which he wouldn't be without Hinami being there as such a paramount existence. And it's just this whole great thing about that ultimately decisions and what one makes out of it is the most supreme thing of all. And what Kikuchi did is, she gave narrative fate a middle finger.

The thing with the badges is kinda a bit of sappy cheese, but it definitely feels well earned. And next to that, there is also this whole setting of boundaries with Hinami, too. When Tomozaki just goes and requests Hinami to shut up, when she is saying her logical, but not empathetic reasoning and he makes it clear, that this is not rejection, not rejecting her, not rejecting her values, but self-preservation, that he needs that distance to protect his emotions and to prevent himself for developing bad ones towards her. It's just so really beautifully respectful while drawing that important boundary. And he also follows up with that game meeting, just to prove, it wasn't just empty talk. He still fully intends to have her in his life. That makes it just buyable. And that also makes the ending clear, that he is upset with her for using him like that, but he does not even contradict her on her methods of working. He just doesn't agree with her attitude and motivation in this. And it's a clear telling off, but it also doesn't feel salty, because clearly after all this, he's not just going to let her walk out of his life AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING ROMANCE. (In a RomCom(Drama), set up a bit harem-like no less.)

You have all that talking with Mizuzawa about you can't have it all, things are spilling, you gotta at least be aware and deliberately toss something and usually this is where people go and pick Za most important loved one to become the OTP and what does this guy do? Starts ditching everything that by all means logic is transient and "replaceable" - until Mimimi makes it clear to any reader she is way too good to let go - is all ready to ditch his new self he has come to like himself, is ready to ultimately ditch the notorious supreme SO. breathes in ISN'T THIS OUTRAGEOUS??

Like completely outrageously rare. I did not expect this. I was all whining that I didn't want to see it end on Tomozaki and Hinami winding up the OTP simply by virtue of the narrative fate of first girl to show up, and the Kikuchi just comes and trashes it down. This is great stuff. And then it is even more, it's talking about compatibility, it's talking unbalance, it's talking about how the solution ultimately was Kikuchi sucked it up, but it's not entirely one sided, either, as it also was her deliberate intentional steadfast choice to put an ideal over her anxious feelings. And it's just so neatly full circle to v7. And it also manages to level up Rena who really was slap worthy in v8. She really is in it to push the limits, but once Tomozaki clearly tells her off, she backs away. So all you have to be steadfast, for everything else, you only deserve to be her prey. That's an interesting one, too, especially considering, who she really comes off as somebody who doesn't respect any boundaries, but all it needed was steadfastness? And then her and Mr. Professional Player talk about relationships from an adult perspective, it being about setting boundaries for the partner meaning relationships and it's all really interesting and convincing for a healthy relationship and Tomozaki is pondering about it and it all looking like it completely falls apart, but then Kikuchi finds a different way that does away with the conflict. .... Isn't that kinda quintessentially queer(platonic)? To not be all following whichever norm was out there set by your predecessors. But not necessarily denying all and everything of it either. And then it ALSO brings in the subject of what loser or winner means in life and that line about how Tomozaki actually is a winner type - because he can recognize status and value, but it entirely not attached it so has no second qualms to just let go it, because he doesn't see it as something that propels himself forward - was really a thing to think about, while it finally tied the gamer aspect into it the rest. Tomozaki never had a need to validate himself, and it was actually something he's had from the beginning. But since he had such a self-sabotaging resigned attitude and approach it perverted it into merely being an arrogant loser. But turns out it actually was just lacking the toolset and guidance to make use of what he's always had. And really just the sheer miracle of meeting somebody, who is equipped with an eye to see that value and then confront and nourish it, even if it may be out of questionable motivations (but it's not like they are exactly harmful to him), it's just so so grand, and.... I think I'm rather jealous of it. Does this even happen in reality? This series makes it buyable that it may actually be possible.

Hell Mode v1-2.7 Here we go with a case of you just read it, because it was there. One of the few current titles on JNC Nina and it just felt like a waste to not make use of it. Turned out, it's not so bad, although it's nothing I'd ever actually pick up on my own. The steady leveling up and checking out stats and experimenting with it is quite like By the Grace of Gods, just without any of it's healing compf properties. The protagonist kinda reminds of the one from Gamers!, just in less of a pathetic loose-type. Maybe that makes him more like the protagonist of Shangri-La Frontier, but in terms of personality he's a bit off. But it takes its very decent solid time to establish actual stakes, the one major thing that made Shangri-La entirely not work for me. The MC even mentions it himself, it's a whole pain to have been reborn and spending all these years, but though it he has a bond with them (which kinda is like Ascendance of a Bookworm, now that I think about it), and these are his stakes. He doesn't just do things because of his gaming obsession, but also because he wants/needs his family to get into better conditions. Not a bad read, it solidly does what it sets out to do so far.

See You When the Snow Falls Uh, hmmmmm. This tried to jug multiple genres and then none of them were exactly terrible, but somehow though the split none of them managed to shine. The split was actually fairly even, too. The mystery bit turns out to be an actual murder mystery, and it was even guessable to the reader, but because it's always background focus it ends kinda anticlimatic, despite being fairly round. And to begin with, nothing about the premise (and the compf cover) looks like a murder mystery.

Cheese wise it was, err, uncommon, I guess? Meets the ghost, looks like a the fated person, meets another girl, also has an air of a fated person, actually starts dating somebody entirely else, and after some detour winds up with his future wife. Some lines really weren't bad, and there is some of the ugly side of relationships depicted quite down to earthly, but maybe it was just way too matter of factually reported, this hardly qualifies as romance as in the genre either. And as a coming of age drama of something who lacks any direction and purpose in life it's too entangled to those two subplots than to shine, he kinda gets dragged around by them and big dramatic moment happens and then just happens to do his thing, because why not.

It has a nice realistic sense to it at places, but somehow it's completely not what you'd think it'd be from the cover and blurb.

(Also has nothing to do with that other 2 volume series, which I only found out after finishing this one.)

As an oel otherwise it was a bit weird at places. Aside from "a kuro tech company" it uses words like chikan, keiko just like that in Japanese with italics and those are words that really need not have to be Japanese, next to some Nee sentence starts (why not simply "groping", "honorifics", "hey"?). Not too many lines, but they have a strange weeb show off effect. At some point it also has a bit of an air about flaunting knowledge of that culture, like how it comes around with explaining how onsen were used for talks because nude means you can't hide weapons. I'd guess this is an obvious snippet of knowledge to any native writer as I've never seen it show up explained anyway beyond No Game, No Life where it was just in a tirade to distract from the main topic and Zombie 100 where the weeb foreigner comes to flaunt her knowledge. 🤔

I Met You After the End of the World v1-2 And there I thought these were all the volumes of this series, but apparently there's gonna be a v3… I was surprised by this series. It was present already in See You When the Snow Falls, but it's clearer here. This writer's style has a distinctive male gaze, and it doesn't shy away from sexuality and being just a bit philosophical contemplating. This kinda reminds me a lot of Asano Inio or Haruki Murakami or Oshimi, but it's not like…. as wrecked. Not that it is to say that there isn’t lots and lots of doom material by premise and setting, as well as plenty of assholes, but the few that are there are kinda all side characters (who get their just desserts by plot). The MC is quite upstanding instead and treats the female MC very respectfully. And it starts off with a mood that comes to a close around a third to half line in the first volume. They are alone in a Tokyo, where everyone died of a virus. It takes months until the stink of the corpses emerges and then it needs the electricity network breaking down for them to properly have it sink in, that they were spending their whole time next to corpses en masse and now need to leave the place. I was thinking the reason why there was no stink was kinda hard to buy at first, but then it's maybe not entirely impossible either. And you'd think, why are they such idiots and didn't prepare stocking up on fuel before gas station electric pumps would fail, why not stock up on battery charge, but not look for this and that. Didn't they know this was gonna break down sooner or later? They even mentioned having feared it before. But it all seems so plausible with the mood. You have this guy, who just is totally burned out from life and was all ready to simply wait for his death by the virus and the girl has her own share of issues and they just are there enjoying the luxury of modern life without its responsibilities and artificial social pressures and they just spend their time to… heal. Did they know to be more clever in preparing more? Probably. Somewhere in the back of their heads. But they also looked to me entirely not being in the mental state of actually following up on it. And this is just the worst thing about extended periods of exhaust. You lose that onlook or care about even a mildly midterm future. Just floating in and out of the days. I didn't even know I'd find that mood interesting, but here were are.

After this it turns into a road trip and the obligatory romance was gonna progress, too. Heads up for a perspective of, the female character can get horny as well and that being solidified as something perfectly not shameful. (Even if the phrasing of “people have their needs” used to cement it is a clunky one that can go to hell.) And some meetings are almost always mystery cases, in between. (I find it rather funny that she'd carry that book about cults of all things all the way from Tokyo to the south, just to have it ready at the right time, lol.)  All the hints of more survivors being there is a nice set up for potentially something grander and will be interesting how this is going to weave together with the romance between the two. It gives me slight Eden It's an Endless World vibes there. The end of the world, humanity and everything…. but look there, after a while you'll see humans still survive after all and you gotta see how to live in this world where some things just never change. Could imagine that coming in as a theme, too, but we're not there yet. The MC is already contemplating personal true value vs. artificial social value and the whole thing about it already was dead, but the tsunami comes and and sinks everything down and even the hubris is gone. There was just such a solemn mood about it, like all the things you hated, but you also realize you were attached to it nonetheless. And just how that hits down as a very lonely thing. Kinda reminded me when I heard that my old school was torn down and I looked up some pictures taken from the teardown side filled of rubble. AND THEN volume 2 comes in with…. a ghost and a deity. Huh???? Suddenly it's also Fantasy???? I have no idea where it is wanting to go. But not even a date for v3 yet…

The Apothecary Diaries v1-2 I have to say the beginning was a bit dry and if there was anything at all it was just the narrator’s cheeky tone going for me. It was like the narrator has a personality entirely of their own, while omnipotently knowing about everything past and future and present and sometimes doing a little commentary. (Unfortunately that one vanished quite soon enough.) It requires its time to set up all the characters and especially Maomao. I was expecting that it would just utilize the fact that she is just too into her special interest and doesn’t see anything else of the world trope to justify it until said interest would shift, but surprisingly she is not wholly obsessed about it for larger parts of the first volume at all. And her being so entirely in the know about the Red District certainly doesn’t make her the too innocent-trope. So when the narration goes to state she expressly has no interest, despite the ability to see the attraction by common standards my eartips perked up. This increased with all the weary moods over watching other people’s marriage going right or going wrong and there is just this whole mood of like Ah-Dou and the emperor not really being lovers but bosom friends and confidantes and her just being a strong support to him rather ever really be his concubine. Or Maomao and her adoptive father and just how remote romance and sexual indulgence can be from a home to get back to. At that point I thought that would have been interesting with Jinshi being an Eunuch and that being mentioned as 'losing sometime vital', something that isn’t at all so vital to Maomao herself. If Maomao was pretty much as good as ace, that could have made an interesting match, of one who is dumbly in love and the other entirely not, but slowly finding some intellectual and emotional ways to connect. Like she did with her entire found family. But duh, of course that couldn’t stay that way. 

I raged at that v1 epilogue. WTH do you mean she got pink cheeks, blushing from a darn cheese move? At the end? This last minute?? It felt so entirely like, that v1 was set up to work standalone and then it’s just bait, like, imagine the rest of that ship on your own. Which felt entirely like betrayal to the set up of Maomao herself and also if that was where it was gonna go, then it was just half-baked. My best guess was that it was just being bait, and look there volume 2 just goes and essentially retconned it. And then adds a comment in that volume to have Maomao say it was she left everything love in the womb of her mother. Now that’s a really cool phrasing that I’m inclined to use for myself if a need may pop out. In any case, Maomao is such a mood (just replace poison with rabbits for me), her facial descriptions about Jinshin’s cheese advances or the deadpan expressions of exhaust, resignation to annoyance when others have gossips are so quintessentially me as a teenager and her aloofness about just really knowing a whole lot about worldly flesh matters (but all theoretical) and then being stared at is similar to my adult self now. I was surprised how quickly that escalated with everyone getting headaches and Jinshi even resorting to wall punching. What I found too bad about v2 is that ultimate her poison hobby obsession got played as the expected trope after all and then Jinshi just has to be the Ugly Duck (or more like the swan among ducks?) that he is and I was kinda disappointed that Maomao wound up being blood related to her adoptive father after all. Like it was really interesting how things interconnected with the mystery cases, but then it says that coincidences piling up like this suggest something intentional and things in her surroundings and family are also all too coincidentally also very connected and who’s the mastermind there? (It looks a bit like the former empress?) Anyhow. Volume 1 and 2’s mood and tone does feel considerably different at places, I’m not sure which one I actually like better. (What I think is also kind of funny is how it’s like a sort of reverse Jeweler Richard? Both guys are described has heavenly beautiful defying gender and having everyone turn their heads and the narrator and even Maomao can’t stop making mention of this, but Maomao and Seigi are at complete opposite extremes of reacting to it, and yet Jinshi is already like a v6 Richard and Maomao is like a mix of dofus Seigi and early volumes Richard?)

Later I found out that the shousetsu ni narou version was still up and it looks like v1's content is largely the same to the WN. So looking up the phrasing of that v1 epilogue it says utsuru for her thought esclamation that it's catching on to her and then she gets those pink cheeks. Now utsuru is a word descibing catching diseases other things contagious. Which is to say, this is reminicent of that explanation Oda does in One Piece about Ruffy having a reaction at nude Nami, simply because he is in a group and the group mentality caught on. I still entirely don't like that bit of the epilogue, but I suppose this makes it look a bit less disappointingly baity.

That and that the author writes in a postscript to WN v1 that from then on it'd be all about raising flags and then destroying them. So maybe that was intentional. But then it was also one comment I'd have wanted to read right after the epilogue, because darn, was I annoyed/disappointed by that last minute titbit. ._.

The Eminence in Shadow v1 - Another one, read because not reading would be a waste of the subscription, but helluva what even is this. I don't know. 

Unnamed Memory LN v1.p1 I said I was gonna be quick to sub if for example UN showed up and then it actually did show up on JNC Nina. Okay, so sub done and started reading it. And I have ??? about the translations. Like I'd say my French sucks, so at some places I had the English version next to it as a crutch for double checking. Which inevitably makes me notice that it differs at some places from the English one and it's not just the name romanizations. And when I compared some of them with the JP preview and looks like the French one.... actually looks more accurate by those samples? That was interesting, but now I am in doubt about the English translation, which on its own actually had read itself just fine.

Black Butler v31 After Zombies, Titanic, Harry Potter Houses, Cricket, and Idol Group (WTH?) Now we have HAZARD SUITS. I don't even with this series.... It’s boldly thick skinned in doing whatever it wants, that much is for sure. Also, I somehow managed to buy volume 23 again instead of buying 32. How the hell did that happen...

Dance Dance Danseur v1-3 (JP v1-6) It’s a very good sports series. It’s been utterly exhausting however. If one had to sum up the first 4-5 volumes it’s like TEENAGERS. All the stupidity, all the worries, body changes, nervousness, and attraction and horniness and lots, lots, lots of it. That’s just everything I do not resonate with because I never really had that phase. In between it shows some really assy prejudices, but also goes to kick them in the ass. While the latter is rewarding the former still happens and just makes me go yuck right of the first pages. But it does a fair job of not just demonizing that side and even the characters with that assy attitude turn out to be really just human in their own way.

German ramblings from right after reading v3: Wandert auf die wird weitergelesen (wenn auch nicht mit Prio) Liste. Ist zwar immer noch so voll mit Elementen zum Weglaufen für mich, aber es ist mittlerweile nicht mehr ganz so übel TEENAGER und wie das alles zusammenkommt mit den Nebenfigurenelemente ist echt schickt zusammengefädelt.

Die Doppelbände bleiben aber ein Krampf zum in der Hand Halten q_q"

Es hat leider sind es immer noch weitgehend Zutaten, die bevorzuge ich eher in kleiner Dosis, selbst wenn es gut verpackt ist…. Beim Pantyshot und dem "mach doch was männliches" oder den Mobbinszenen hatte ich schon paar 🤢 Momente. Das ganze Pubertäts-Hormonmoster-blabla, ist teilweise auch sehr OTL, vermute mal einigermaßen realistisch getroffen? Hatte das halt nie und dann das ganze hin und her mit Miyako oder er ist nur bei der Schule gelandet, weil der Pantyshot im den Kopf verdreht hat. ufffffz. (Bei Bakemonogatari fängt effektiv auch alles mit einen Pantyshot an, aber da ist es durch die Eskalation der Ereignisskette so extra absurd, dass es was passend sureales hat.) Und das Thema um Passion/Talent wiederfinden/verfolgen/fördern ist halt auch bisschen weiter weg als jemand der gar weder das eine noch das andere hat. Und mit Tanzen kann man mich IRL eigentlich jagen gehen. 🩸

Aber ist schon gut eingebaut mit Nuancen und aufeinander abgestimmt, sieht man selten so, aber auch, Band 2 war echt bisschen zu viel TEENAGER HORMOOOONNEEEEEE. Die Richtung seit Band 3 war mir da echt willkommen. Grad auch dass das mit dem Mobbing wieder kommt. Das hatte sich zwischenzeitlich recht verwässert und unter den Tisch gekehrt angefühlt, aber dann war es doch nur die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.. Also erzählerisch macht es eine sehr gute Figur und bei so vielen Bänden sieht es nach Mehrgängemenü aus~

Diamond in the Rough - Finished It is a pretty solid Shonen read, with an interesting setting, but hell, what is this ending? Did it get axed? It totally just feels like an arc ending shortly before a post time skip part 2 and then it’s suddenly simply just the end.

Girl Crush ch62-63, ch81-82 I found out that it actually has a web serialization elsewhere than just Line Manga (which is geoblocked), so straight shoot at it even if it meant gap jumping. It's still rock solid and great, also it's clearly in the build up stages for the next fireworks. Tenka is just so gorgeous. 

Give Her Back to Me That was... creepy, in an intended way. It was interesting, but also just slightly brain frying. I suppose that was also intended.

Iki Dekinai no wa Kimi no Sei: Super Pink I also call this 'the horny porny that shouldn't exist'. It's a spin off doujin by the author from Iki Dekinai no wa Kimi no Sei/Breathless Momentum and it's, well, been quite honest about what its content was going to be about from the preview of the thing. Which is to say it has no plot only plot. All I had when I learned of this release was a jerk reaction of WHY. Didn't the author tweet before there were never gonna be ero scenes in her work? And isn't Breathless Momentum really great, because it's just so utterly unabashed horny, but manages to be that while also never being porny or smutty? (You don't usually get this.) Why now this. I'm all whiny. That being said, as for PLOT it was still one of the better ones I guess. You don't just get horny, it's not just about shanking another up till insanity, but it's also about foreplay and really just enjoying the whole thing with their minds still all sound (you also rarely get something like that) and it's just two who are really hot and horny about another, it's far from their first time, and there is just this sort of self-evident natural playfulness to it. And there's even funny little panels and humor in between. And visual cuteness (they get all hearts in their eyes as pupils over their delectable snacks.) So now, please can I have all the elements like these without the need of beams and holes and overly explicitness and also have it actually be integrated into a main plot please? At least it established the horniness in the main series already, unlike say What did you eat yesterday? - which is also to say, unlike some doujins there, where I wanna scream why it wasn't part of the main plot, because of very important emotional characterization, Super Pink is entirely neglectable to the main plot. But some of its seasonings would have peppered the main series nicely, too, if they were spread out more and not going deep into the horny pot like that....

Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch17.2-4 This series got licensed by Yen Press. Everyone go read it. It's good~

Lust auf ein Date? (How do we Relationship?) v9-10 Finally the How to we NOT relationship manual turns into a How DO we relationship advice box. But ho girl was the path to it exhausting. A very good series that does lots of things right and well written, but that are things I just don't manage to really like. But how the two mains are going for and knowing how people are gonna likely misunderstand it and one of their girlfriends being all like “you can’t have enough harbors outside of just your lover” just really really makes it looks like it’s going for some queerplatonic angle and I think I’m gonna whine a whole lot if those two wind up being a couple after all in the end.

Okaeri Aureole This is 50% cute-wholesome and 50% the guy deserves a bloody punch. Like how can you have things like this:

And then also have one go and assault the other one in some run in the mill-bad nonCon trope? 

Reincarnated as the Daughter of the Legendary Hero and the Queen of Spirits ch19.4-58 This was a surprise and probably not one I would have touched if I couldn’t have tried checking it out on Manga Up. the title is kinda really unfortunate as is its isekai reincarnation premise. It’s kind of pretty irrelevant to the plot and MC literally goes like “but that’s not relevant so story for another time” (which probably will never really happen?) Well, anyway. It has a nice mix of badass girls and mums, intrigues and politics, an interesting fantasy world with some lore, two parents who are just dumbly in love with each other (they remind me of Spice and Wolf, but just more stupid-funny-cute), who can be funny, idiots, dorks and then entirely mature and serious at the switch of a button. The art is cute, too and in general it just has this playful air about it, being very compf, while it’s still interspersed with darker bits of the world and it’s a really nice balance of savory and compf-cute-sweet.

Ride-On King v3 I am not sure what I read there. Probaby same stuff as v1-2, but it has been a while.

Sasaki and Miyano v7 I closed the gap from print and web-reading. Good heavens I’ve read this as it was chapter-serialized in JP, so I already knew what was coming, but darn it is this cheese death worthy collected in a book like this. How to despair as you gotta rereaed the last few pages every 5 pages because your brain just chimed out. 

Sonna Kazoku nara Sutechaeba? ch64-66 I’m entirely not sure where this is going to go. The premise conflicts are more resolved than not, so a new character comes in to retrace some of it and then it opens up new themes. Which is like…. gender/trans/nonbinary themes? One scheming girl who’s not below selling her own body?? I’m not entirely sure, as I dumbly missed out on reading some chapters in time before their free reading expired. The kuudere MC teenager's starting to go cheese, while her mother is finding all her sappyness back? Ok.. But it’s kind of interesting how Ichika went from “I’m just on their way, they can spend more cheese twosome time with each other” to But if she went back, she’d not have as much time to spend time with her cheese-subject. 

This was still cute tho and absolute nothing I'd ever have expected from this series:

The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten ch13.3-14.1 TINY BITS OF FLUFF FODDERRRRRR, where is the next chapterrrrrr q_q But anyhow! The release date of v1 in German is out and there’s a limited edition with extras and a variant cover, everyone go buy the fluff perfection (for as long as it lasts to be that)~

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira ch8-41 This has turned into a slight surprise hit so far. The art is solid and knows to be pretty when it needs to. The premise is very fantasy and gender bender driven, but frankly, if this wasn’t fantasy and Kira simply was a boy, it still would have a lot going for it simply by virtue of the art, character interactions and the politics and norms of the world spinning around. Unfortunately I'm now caught up on comikey and have no idea when there’s gonna be more chapters… (until finding out the month after they seem to come regularly now.)

The Villainess Behind the Mask - Finished This seemed like it started with Shinde Mirou to Iwareta Shinimashite x 7th Time Loop at first, it’s like the former in the MC having all that special magic, it is the later in terms of the MC’s character and personality, just not as rich and optimistic and more vengeful. It’s decent enough, but the ending was just a tat anticlimactic and in terms of romance it has a few moments, but they never really got enough room to build up enough chemistry and there’s a whole “buts…!” raised up only to be smashed down at an ending that does feel a little bit too much like axed. Too bad. 

To be Winner - Finished. From beginning to end this has positively cute to gorgeous art. The later has been fairly abundantly with the fantasy game settings, but ultimately, it’s just characters on a screen in the world of this story that is just like everyday contemporary RL life so it just felt a bit dissonant. In terms of its actual plot it’s a sports-plot with a romance side-plot with solid execution. E-Sports really is anything but my field of interest, but the rest kept it going regardless. The ending feels round enough, but also a bit like being on the fence about between stretching it on or just finishing on a side plot in the last arc and by the time it decided to be the last chapter it didn’t feel like one whatsoever…

——————————————————————————

MARCH

It is a whole scrumble to keep up with expiry dates on JNC Nina already.

Reading in French is slow business, as is Japanese compared to Englisch and German, and darn it. q_q

One little accidential anime slipped in. Actually I did feel like watching Apothecaries and maybe something else, too, but somehow in the end I just wound up putting all their soundtracks into the playlist to listen to instead...

Anime:

Winter Memories Honkai Impact 3rd Concept Animation

Light Novels:

7th Time Loop V1

Fushi no Kami V1

Hell Mode v2

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch1-41

Spice & Wolf V21-22

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p10-14

The Eminence in Shadow v2p1-6

The Executioner and Her Way of Life v1

Wolf and Parchment v4

Your Forma v4

Manga:

100-nengo ni Tenseishita Watashi, Zense no Juukishi ni Kyuukonsaremashita: Heika wa Watashi ga Moto Oujo da to Okizukidenai you desu final chapter.1

A Side Character's Love Story Ch49-50.1

Akuma to Keiyaku v1

Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch16.2

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch1-2.3

Arte Ch84-85

At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender

Black Butler v32

Captain Ken Ch1-16

Cherish v1

Daijuukou to Unicornis no Otome ch14.2-15.1

Domestic na Kanojo v4

Frieren - Nach dem Ende der Reise v4

Girl Crush ch82

Goblin Slayer Year One v9ch61-70

Haikyu v40ch357

Harebare Biyori ch23.2

Hari to Hitsuji no Fune ch10.1

Hiso Hiso v2-3

Horimiya v14-16

I Cannot Reach You v6

I Got Reincarnated in a (BL) World of Big (Man) Boobs ch1

I'm cute enough to get away with it Ch20-23

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Familia Chronicle Episode Freya Manga v1ch4

Josou Joushi no Nakasekata v1

Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch11.3-12.2

Keine Cheats für die Liebe v9-11

Kemutai Hanashi ch13-16

Kijima-san & Yamada-san Ch4-17.2

Knitter's High ch26.3

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch80-81

Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch12.1-2

Koroshi Ai After File prologue, ch1

Küss den Kater v5ch20

Living With My Brother's Wife Ch1-11

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru ch30

Love and Fortune v6ch31

Lovers High - Meine beste Freundin, ihr Freund und ich v1-2

Marry my Enemy Ch59-60.5

Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku bangaihen1-2

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Elma's Office Lady Diary v4ch36

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Kanna's Daily Life v8

Mr. Mallow Blue ch29

My Awkward Senpai Ch28-54

Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru no de Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch23.4-25.2

Oshi no Ko ch140-144

Repeating Your End Together ch5

Sasaki and Miyano v7-9ch46

She is also cute today Ch60-125

Shin Henkei Shoujo Ch1-2

Shuumatsu Touring ch36.1-4

Sick v1

Solange wir zusammen sind v2-v7ch28

Sonna Kazoku nara Sutechaeba? ch67

Sooper Spooky Ch1-17

Spring, Love and You v3-5

Suicide Notes Laid on the Table Ch8-19

The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses Ch71-80

The Heroic Legend of Arslan v13-v15ch94

The Ice Guy and the Cool Girl Ch39-56

The Strongest Tank's Labyrinth Raids Ch1-2

Unnamed Memory ch34.2-35.2

Urban Prince and the Amazon Girl Ch1-4

Victoria's Electric Coffin v1ch4

Virgin Road v2ch13

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch36.2-37.2

Wind Breaker v1ch5

Webtoons:

Breed my Dear Enemy Ch99-181

Flowers in the Secret Place Ch45-87

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira Ch42-44

Taberare Usa ch93-96

The Blind & The Homeless Ch1-7

The Giantess wants Love Ch164-218

The Goddess of Healing Ch54-66

The Mermaid Wears a Dress ch50-60

To be or not be Ch24-122, 1-23

You Are My Lovely Dragon King Ch1-16

Non-Fiction:

Some Greek mythology book (ISBN 9789463598965)

Notes:

How to Survive as a Villain AKA This Villain Emperor's Gotta Charm the Male Lead to Survive! AKA To Be or Not to Be AKA Please Decide on a Title Already The former is the closest translation to the Chinese title, while the second's length and summary-in-title does all the justice to it being an isekai and the last is a bit ??? in hindsight after reading it, but then it's apparantely the official English subtitle and also what made me pick it up on Comikey in the first place, so I should not complain. This is also a series I can dub as 'how to get interested only really at chapter 41 of 122 and then get hooked at chapter 88ish after having everything before read with pretty much just half attention' and it's another specimen to prove that me getting hooked tends always to happen rather late, which makes finding the next great thing really complicated beyond grinding though as much of everything as possible by sheer brute force and patience. (What do I envy people who can judge that right from the beginning.) Well, I'm gonna have some fun rereading it.

Anyway, this series by premise is a bit like My Next Life as a Villainess, but the isekai'd main doesn't have baka trait of Bakarina, then the world being reincarnated to isn't a tropey heavy otome-game thing, but a novel set in Ancient China (no cultivation and other fantasy elements there as a bonus) and the whole thing is also a BL and the narrative has slices of Romeo & Julia, but without that one's teen pathos (stupidity). The isekai'd main Xiao YuAn is a bit ridiculous and funnily goofy at times, but not dumb and stupid either. It's also been strangely weird, but convincing to me how it takes like 60ish chapters for him to notice he's fallen in love with his favorite novel male lead-turned real, and that it doesn't even occur to him until it's being spelled out in clear words and to boot, he is being transmigrated into the body of an emperor known to be gay and everyone's being thinking the thing for far longer and even his beloved male lead Yang HeQing caught onto his own feelings by what, chapter 12? And yet it felt strangely buyable to me at the same time. Very slow burn and organic progression. In the middle there is even a dish of melancholic facing your impossibilities in the world. (Maybe that’s some Weltschmerz and what the Hamlet quote title tries to reference? The vengeance part probably is less so.)

It sets up a lot and then develops it until it reaps its payoff. Which is to say, the series has 3 parts/seasons and the first two and beginning of the third are really rock solid, but the third is there to reap off all the payoffs from before and does it well, but in comparison feels weak because unlike the prior two parts it doesn't set up anyone or anything for itself much beyond the minimum and just reaps previous buildups. There's no new side character beyond the sister of a side character (Hong Xiu kicked ass really) that got killed off and really she is just a paler, meeker Hong Xiu 2.0, which is really too bad, because it could have integrated another new Kingdom into the spotlight, have some mentioned original novel side character show up or have some more side characters come back like they did from part one to two. The overarching plot is also not has interweaved with all the side tales going on and as a result it feels--- a bit simple I guess. That also makes the focus on the pair's lovey dovey shenanigans more heavy and Xiao YuAn is actually just about as silly and goofy as ever, just now knowing what he wants and entirely unhinged about it, and otherwise it's not so very different to the beginning, but due to the extra spotlight it has with not much more else going on it looks more lower dimensional than it needs to be.

Also somehow the last part seemed a bit visually weaker. And I've been really wondering why. Because it wasn't the art's lines or coloring itself. Was that because his second transmigration has made him get a more manly body than that slender, sickly more androgynous body and I maybe liked that style better? But then this never came across as one of those BLs that just shoves a female strereotype on one of the guys as often the case and if it did I'd likely hate it. Or was it the completely unhinged air? Or that he has a more sturdy body that far better can fend itself, but gets all those princess carries and doesn't even complain about them? Was it the thicker eyebrows? Eventually it turned out to be.... Eyelashes!!! The two mains of them, they both have fairly long eyelashes. And supposedly his second transmigration's body is pretty much like his original body, same face and everything, but!!! Every show up of that one at the beginning totally also has him have those longer eyelashes!! And yet in the third part the only times he mostly gets to have longer eyelashes is when he makes pretty eyes for his guy and it's... it's strangely weirdly irritating. Where is the consistency!!! Or well, I didn't know I found longer eyelashes aesthetically pleasing. What do I do with that titbit of knowledge now... Anyway, to my chagrin I had to find out that there was a Japanese print release for this series, but weirdly enough they only released one volume which has firm 1 cipher plastered on its cover and then no further volume afterwards. It's also licensed in English, but by Monogatari Novels who apparently still haven't released any of their releases in English and keep pushing the dates. :/

The art is also really nice, tho I have to moan about its key illustrations that really really look a bit misleading in terms of vibes and the third main key illustration is basically either misleading or a big fat spoiler. (And the fourth that also is being used on Anilist apparently is mostly used as a merch illustration?) Artwise it's really nice to look at, a really nice color palette that freely uses vibrant to darker parts of the spectrum, lots of wardrobes and because guys in Ancient China also all had long hair, lots of wavy fluttering bangs and ponytails in the wind or hairdos or decorations. And long sleeves and robes, too. It looks good (and just made the special chapters in contemporary times look immensely boring in comparison. Where's the wavy hair!! (and the eyelashes!!). (.... I'm getting ridiculous about this.)

That bit in the middle about the conflict of being yourself but also being that new entirely different identity after being isekai'd and the limited amount of people knowing that is also a quite nice mood I feel like that has gone lost from many of the genre from the modern wave. There's also a nice conversation about how the man's caught up in choices and how he's all doubting to being guilty about the choice being made and how ultimately it was never about doing the right thing, but making a choice and feeling bad, because all choices were important, but he had to pick. Also choices are the thing that defy fate literally. There is something soothingly comfy about it there.

How to Survive as a Villain Novel As it goes, the webtoon on Comikey has.............. parts of overtly dubios translation and editing quality and then also other parts with fairly interesting side notes (clearly these parts have to be from diffrent staff working on it??) and while the translation overall feels more clunky than not, it definitely made hints of making a fair number of literary or cultural references that all got lost in translation. And then I found out there's a novel and also there is a fantranslation and that it was taken down because an English release was licensed in Singapour by a somewhat new publisher and pre-orders closed on that on in January, like 2 darn month before I discovered this series. How cursed. Well, not like that the fantransation isn't to be found elsewhere, and it's worth already just for the footnotes on all the literary references and idioms and occasional contemporary slang. Really interesting. But aggregator rip off sites are still all cursed, because there's a good bunch of chapters that have annotation number markings but they haven't copied the footnotes over. Dang it, I'm interested in those!!!

Anyway. The webtoon definitely cut and changed a good few of things, which makes for a more smooth read and at places with additional flourish. Especially the beginning of the novel is equal parts of wtfh and lmao. And it then it dawned on me why it seemed strangely convincing to me that the main Xiao YuAn gets transmigrated into the body of that gay emperor and while he perfectly knows that fact, he doesn't even ever really think much about his attraction to his favorite male lead (that he has been fawning in a few ways over from the beginning). The way he is introduced in those beginning chapters of the novel pretty much introduces him as never having fallen for any woman, his family goes nuts, tries to ship him with some women, but then he's like bolting and running and family goes like wait, no, is he gay then?? and try to ship him into dubious BL ships and he is running and beating them up and like just. Nope. There's nobody. Probably. Anway, onto more important things!!! How about just focus on work and be a useful person to society. Which is such a mood. And add how it takes him a while to accept that Ancient-China-from-the-novel world as properly a real thing of its/his own now and his not even considering the idea despite being perfectly acquainted with the flags kinda feels like more than just the usual amount of density. Besides he really isn't dumb about it, he quickly gets it once it's been clearly spelled out and he gives it its due thinking over, so like just the whole air of him having all the pieces before his eyes all along but not even considering it at all in that way that's not even exactly dense or phobic of some sort is kind of really interesting.

The other part is how he had already killed himself in his original life to begin with. More or less because he was terminally ill and doomed anyway, but also because some brother asked him to. Which is a bit ??? It checks with how the big turning point in the third part plays out and the man may be whiny and a scaredy cat and all silly with his fear of death but actually doesn't even think twice about facing death in all the serious moments that count (which thinking about it is very reminicent of Haku from Utawarerumono Maskt of Deception/Truth), but him just jumping off the fifth floor in those beginning chapters also feels just random. The webtoon definitely did a good job kicking that brother character out of the plot. Apparently the sheer ludicrousness of attempted shipping offs by his family still made it to the webtoon in post-chapter extra scenes; at least I saw some on chinese raws, but the comikey version has them all cut. (And he's got long eyelashes in his original body there!!) Anyway, less than 1/4 read so far and I'll probably space it out for it to last longer. Also, darn it, somebody license the book already. With lots of translation notes and everything please!

Breed my Dear Enemy Ch99-181 So, apparently that’s actually two completely separate series under the same title belt and the first one finishes here. (with a completely nuts numbering order at the end of it on Comikey.) Isekai-transmigration into the body of a child, spanning over a decade, that has a short reverse-isekai adventure, court intrigues, knowing the novel contents already-cheats and there is a deal of courting and romance and a slice of cultivation and some really pretty art at places (especiallyfemale MC Ye Mu’s wardrobe). Ye Mu is also pretty cool in being just absolutely badass in wits and kicking ass herself. The isekai cheat is a bit excessively convenient though - She hasn't even read the book on her own accord, but while she accidentially trips into the book Fushigi Yuugi-style while doing a military raid and gets sucked into that world she literally gets the book contents downloaded into her brain. It does more with the isekai that you'd expect at the end, but somehow that plot device for plotline cheat skills was still extremely deus ex machina. What I also thought was a bit surprising between this and To be and Not to Be both having it was how their last thirds are both quite so very unhinged at being horny and explicitly things happening but without them being graphically explicit. Also both are from China. I did not expect this level of unhinged horniness from that country at all. What happened.

This panel background otherwise was almost phone wallpaper worthy:

It also had some nice ones ones with bamboo trees.

Domestic na Kanojo v4 I am not sure I know what I am even reading.

Frieren - Nach dem Ende der Reise v4 Fern deserves some sla… stern talking tos about her treatment to Stark and no Sein, I very much disagree, they should totally not be together already like that at all. 

Fushi no Kami V1 The isekai premise is so old now it is annoying the MC himself already and lots of cheats, but the world’s cultural mystery hook is not too uninteresting, but everything Maika side it a whole slog and I feel like wanting to drop it out of the window every time a PoV change comes to this cheese stricken girl.

Girl Crush ch82 It’s good, it’s still good!

Hell Mode v2 This is strangely keeping me interested enough to stick to it despite it not really having anything outstanding. My best guess is really just that it’s my surrogate to By the Grace of Gods after all. 

Horimiya v14-16 - Finished That took some years to get to these last few vols. But I was taken off guard. First I don’t remember any of the side characters anymore. Second. Was Hori always this bad of an obnoxious violent tsundere despite the guy clearly suffering from it? And you can’t even slap her for it, because she’d enjoy it!!

I Got Reincarnated in a (BL) World of Big (Man) Boobs ch1 I’m crying. In “What a whole darn waste!!” So I am still following Adekan. And when it’s good it’s gorgeous in its art and just all that morbid twistedness of human nature and desires so when it’s good it’s usually really good and when it’s bad it's also atrociously bad to my tastes. This one from the same author ditches any chance of a setting to flaunt or otherwise exhibit her talent for all that gorgeous dreamlike, fantastical artwork. And it’s so dumb and it’s kinda bad and it knows it, which I suppose makes it more bearable than the worst parts of Adekan due to the self-aware 4th wall element. But also it’s just such a waste!!! and yet you can clearly feel, this is what the author has fun with and plenty of fun Nao Tsukiji has with this particularness and who am I to criticize a person doing what they like, but still. I cannot help but cry out: What a waste!!!!

Kemutai Hanashi ch13-16 It's been a great series already and now it addresses yet another thing that is hard to put in words, but was captured brilliantly in its mood design by sheer power of character expressiveness. It will be very interesting if it does go on to capture it in words, too, like that brilliant conversation I raved about last time.

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch80-81 Wow. So we had this Aishiteru Game-ish arc, but it quickly moved on to the theatre play arc and frankly that was sweet and solid, but lacked any sense of a wow effect and probably that was the whole point, because wow did that twist (caused through one of the most old trodden tropes boring tropes at that!) hit at the end. It’s like… of course that was always in the cards. But somehow it managed to catch a surprise anyway and wow does it well circling back to one of its main messages it had been delivering so very well across all the series before.

Sasaki and Miyano v7-9ch46 I died a few cheese deaths and I had even read the web version before. I am regressing in my cheese resistance. Help!

Spice & Wolf V21-22 It was easy enough to get back into that after all those years it took me to pick it up again and the Holo-Lawrence bantering just really doesn’t get old. And everytime at the end of the books, where there are stories about Myuri and Col it just strikes how much less engaging that duo is as main characters. Also, seriously, at the end of all the church reforms it’s just gonna be like marriage is allowed for priests and those get together, is it? Hurry up and please get it over already. sigh.

Wolf and Parchment v4 Actually in their own series, it’s less of a slog to read, as there is still a mystery plot to be had around politics and the setting and everything. But I retain, those two are a bit exhausting…

Spring, Love and You v3-5 I had read v1 and actually thought it was surprisingly pretty aroace and also describing how the friction of being that way and the world not being that way can be hurtful and then I read v2 and OF COURSE this was a shoujo and she was gonna fall in love and then I dropped it for years. But now with having read the rest of it… Not like it ever addressed it as such, but the two mains impress a bit as demi or otherwise still a good deal as still on the aroace spectrum and cluenessness about ok, so they are dating and now? and then there is a side character who really looks like very aroace to the end and there is this girl having a crush at him and confessing in a really respectful way of not making him feel guilty or indebted and there’s a really wholesome part to her being kinda in pain, but also just placing good wishes and hopes for him to have somebody special to him, if it comes to that. And the guy goes like instead of feeling happy about any such a confession he feels like he lost something important and ultimately it ends on him hurrying after her, because he doesn’t want to lose her, a really close, trusted friend so far. And then they are dating and the series ends and the girl is happily blushing in the midst of her crush and he is entertaining her crush with a romantically coded gesture (that he does with a completely straight face), but if you ask me, this looks so much like an act of despair of not wanting to lose something precious and not because it winds up he fell for her like that. It would have been really interesting if that could have been explored, because this setup is bound to have all sorts of challenges, but then this series never was gonna be about something like this, was it? Which is a bit sad, because to me it unfortunately will be the only thing I will actually remember about this series. The characters aren’t exactly bad, they are buyably realistically portrayed, but they are also a bit (very) unmemorable and there isn’t much of an actual plot in this school setting to hook you in either. 

She is also Cute Today - Finished (??) This was supposed to be some GL, but then it was more like deep friendship and finding your crowd, with a bunch of opposites attract comedy but after some dozens of chapters it's having more clear hints about being more romantic than not, but before it really ever went to get into that more deeply it says end of part 1 and somehow no more other chapters. (According to Anime Planet it's finished??) Well, in terms im GL that's now kinda like what you get from most GL. Something that just barely has a little bit more than a regular deep intimate friendship. But it does introduce a gender NC theme across the series that has a clear queer message said out loud, so just when I starting to think it could go beyond the usual fare but.... Where is Part 2? :<

Taberare Usa ch93-96 Just what the hell am I even reading there now…

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p10-14 I ACTUALLY STARTED. Meanwhile even v7 in English has arrived and I haven’t even touched v6 after that disappointing peek into it. 

The Giantess wants Love - Finished It turned out to be a nicely decent read. There’s some solid art throughout and once the romance is official it actually is mature and makes no big deal out of it. The fashion industry setting is nicely used for a number of pretty outfits. One of the last chapters also just barely turned the scales around over at humanizing a gay side character who went to be all like this predatory asshole criminal. There’s quite a gap between the villains and the good guys, with a few having feets on both sides, but like some of these villains just are a bit taxing on patience to sit though. 

The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses Ch71-80 Seriously, this series and all its cheese is above my wits.

The Goddess of Healing Ch54-66 picked it up where I originally went on a binging frenzy to the end. It’s still good and the MCs bantering is cute, dorky, wholesome and fun, but the villains are getting a whole deal more annoying now. There is also less ambivalence in character being virtuous or not. While motivations are being shown how the villains became that way, there is still a clear divide between the good guys and the bad ones. Looks like I like the ambivalence more that How to Survive as a Villain offers in that same Ancient Chinese setting.

Your Forma v4 Solid. But one plotline was unfortunately super obvious already right at the beginning of the book. It still managed to play with it and put another twist over it, but the first one was unfortunately a bit too obvious to not guess. But then, actually that was already the case in the previous volume, so maybe it’s a bit of a pattern?

[the-fifth-voice]

Hi, welcome to my music blog! I’m Liam

About me:

I am a 28 year old Music Connoisseur™! Music has been a guiding light in my life and I love delving into different sounds and discovering new genres. I listen to every genre (including but not limited to metal, country, rock, alternative, electronic, experimental, classical, jazz, R&B, hip hop, Caribbean music & Latin music), but contemporary pop music is my favorite. I am a queer Black enby, and my pronouns are he/they. I am also autistic. I grew up listening to mainly gospel music, as my dad was a pastor at a church in NYC. I also listened to old school R&B/soul music alongside classical music, contemporary R&B, pop, hip hop & Caribbean music. I also make playlists! Feel free to hmu for that or anything else (within reason)!

My favorite artists/bands are as follows:

Adele

Against Me!

Anderson .Paak

Animal Collective

Aphex Twin

Arca

Ariana Grande

Azealia Banks

Bad Bunny

The Beatles

Ben Khan

Beyoncé

Billie Eilish

Björk

Black Dice

Blood Incantation

Bob Dylan

Britney Spears

BROCKHAMPTON

Cardi B

Carly Rae Jepsen

Chappell Roan

Charli XCX

Cloud Nothings

cupcakKe

D’Angelo

D’Angelo and The Vanguard

Daft Punk

David Bowie

Deafheaven

Deerhunter

Dirty Projectors

Doja Cat

Drake

Drake & Future

Dream Unending

Earl Sweatshirt

Erykah Badu

Evelyn “Champagne” King

Fiona Apple

FKA twigs

Flo Milli

Foxing

Frank Ocean

Funkadelic

Future

GloRilla

Grateful Dead

Grimes

Halsey

Harry Styles

Ice Spice

iLoveMakonnen

Inter Arma

Isaiah Rashad

James Blake

James Brown

Jamie xx

Janelle Monáe

Janet Jackson

JAY-Z

JAY-Z & Kanye West

Jazmine Sullivan

Jeff Bridges (specifically his album Sleeping Tapes)

Jeremih

Jessie Ware

Jesus Piece

The Jimi Hendrix Experience

John Coltrane

JPEGMAFIA

Justin Bieber

Justin Timberlake

Kacey Musgraves

Kali Uchis

Kanye West

Kendrick Lamar

Kesha

KIDS SEE GHOSTS

Knocked Loose

Koffee

Lady Gaga

Lana Del Rey

Lauryn Hill

LCD Soundsystem

Leonard Cohen

Let’s Eat Grandma

Lil Nas X

Lil Peep

Lil Uzi Vert

Lorde

Lou Reed

Mac DeMarco

Madonna

Mariah Carey

Marvin Gaye

Megan Thee Stallion

Michael Abels

Michael Jackson

Migos

Miguel

Mitski

Moses Sumney

Nicholas Britell

Nick Drake

Nicki Minaj

Nina Simone

Noname

Normani

Olivia Rodrigo

Panda Bear

Perfume Genius

Pink Floyd

Playboi Carti

Post Malone

Prince

Prince & the Revolution

R.E.M.

Radiohead

Rihanna

The Rolling Stones

ROSALÍA

Run The Jewels

Sabrina Carpenter

Seafoam Walls

Sexyy Red

Shaboozey

Solange

SOPHIE

St. Vincent

Stevie Wonder

Sufjan Stevens

SZA

Tame Impala

Taylor Swift

Tems

Teyana Taylor

Tomb Mold

Troye Sivan

Tyla

Tyler, the Creator

Undeath

USHER

Vampire Weekend

The Velvet Underground & Nico

Vince Staples

The Weeknd

The xx

Young M.A

Young Thug

Yves Tumor

ZS

21 Savage

The 1975

This blog contains mainly pics & gifs of these artists/bands. I consider myself primarily to be a Swiftie & BeyHive, but I also stan Drake, Charli XCX & Ice Spice. Additionally, I’m also a huge fan of Billie Eilish, Frank Ocean, Lil Nas X, Lorde, Kanye West, The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar, Animal Collective, Cardi B, Olivia Rodrigo, Doja Cat & Ariana Grande.

I also keep a music journal:

Every week, since the week beginning May 24th, 2012 (from Thursday to Thursday), I've picked one song a week to be my most favorite song for that week. Songs can also be my favorite for multiple weeks or even consecutive weeks. I compiled a playlist of these songs shown below. I use this as an encrypted diary & as a mnemonic device to help me organize my musical memories (and/or just memories in general):

[nepokisses]

laura   harrier.     she/her.     cis   woman.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   alana   davis   ,   most   likely   listening   to   heaven   by   nola   adé   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty   seven   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -introverted   yet   +humble   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   a   pair   of   boxing   gloves   ,   late   nights   spent   at   the   local   gym   ,   her   maternal   grandmother's   locket   ,   a   newly   crafted   tiara   ,   followed   by   rihanna   nude   perfume   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   newly   crowned   princess   discovered   to   have   a   police   record   due   to   assault   charges   pressed   against   her   in   her   early   20s   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   (   tj   ,   21   ,   they/them   ,   est   .   )

B A S I C S 

full name: alana davis. nicknames: lana. gender:  cis woman. pronouns:  she/her. sexuality:  pansexual. age:  27. date of birth:  september 1st, 1995. zodiac sign:  virgo. birthplace: the bronx, new york. current location: the bronx, new york. residence:  her childhood home - she refuses to move out of the home she grew up in. occupation:  former amateur boxer/ current princess. languages spoken: english, a little spanish.

A P P E A R A N C E

faceclaim:  laura harrier. height:  5’9. build:  toned. eyes:  brown. hair:  naturally dark brunette. piercings:  standard earlobe piercings.  tattoos:  a cherry blossom branch running along her forearm and wrist. other distinguishing features:  smile. style:  casual for the most part, unless she's going to an event or somewhere special. 

P E R S O N A L I T Y

traits:  (+) humble, honest, determined, dedicated , loyal. (-) shy, temperamental, bitter, easily angered , unforgiving.  mental health:  anger management issues, bipolar disorder; medicated.  physical health:  great, very healthy physically. likes:  boxing, video games, sports, art, spicy foods, bratz dolls, live concerts, mma, wine, smoking marijuana.  dislikes:  being antagonized, people who don't respect boundaries, avocados, crowded spaces, groups of people that take up the whole sidewalk, being forced to introduce herself, being in the spotlight, being lied to, being told what to do, mint chocolate chip ice cream.  fears:  losing her autonomy.  phobias:  snakes. hobbies:  boxing, teaching other people how to box, crocheting, reading. skills: crocheting, fighting / boxing, jumping rope / double dutch, computer savvy. quirks:  cracking her knuckles when irritated, avoiding eye contact when feeling shy or nervous, rolling her eyes.

F A V O R I T E S

ice cream flavour:  cookies & cream.  time of the day / night:  late night.  weather:  summer weather.  breakfast food:  waffles, cereal, yogurt.  dinner food:  jerk chicken, beef patties, pasta, rice. colours:  lots of darker, muted colors.  music: nola adé, adele, fka twigs, kehlani, lady gaga, solange, yebba, paramore, hozier, ed sheeran, nirvana, beyoncé, megan thee stallion, sza, samara joy, flo milli, kendrick lamar. 

M I S C E L A N E O U S

a cherished item:  her maternal grandmother's locket, the first pair of boxing gloves her mother bought for her. first love ( celeb crush ):  rider strong, circa boy meets world / ciara usual mood:  neutral. 1 thing they want to do / experience before they die:  have one professional boxing match.  character inspo: rosalie hale ( twilight ), raven ( teen titans ), bonnie bennett ( the vampire diaries ).

B A C K G R O U N D

childhood & adolescence: alana grew up with a single mother in the bronx. her father, whom her mother didn't really speak about often, was never in the picture for her. from a young age, it was quite difficult for her to deal with the fact that she grew up without a dad. she absolutely adored her mother, but being teased by other children for not having both parents in her life caused her a lot of inner turmoil. it didn't help that she was a rather awkward looking child - as most people go through their ugly duckling stages. despite being a shy, introverted girl, alana had a very short tempered fuse - a trait that she inherited from her mother. her peers assumed that her quiet demeanor would make her an easy target for bullying, but she quickly proved them wrong after getting into a scuffle here and there; scuffles where she primarily came out on top. her mother, tired of being called to her school for her fighting bullies, decided that she needed to redirect her short fuse into another avenue; which was when she introduced a ten year old alana to boxing. her mother was an amateur female boxer in her youth, but retired and laid her boxing dreams to rest when she got pregnant with alana. it became quite obvious that the boxing gene was passed onto her, because she took to it like a fish takes to water and fell in love with the sport. throughout middle and high school, alana kept up with her boxing. it became a dream of hers to enter the professional world of boxing. in her mind, she had the perfect path set up for herself. she would graduate, focusing on training full time and eventually open up her own gym dedicated to boxing. as much as she loved the sport, being in the public eye as a famous boxer wasn't something that she was interested in. she just wanted to box without being known by the world.

early & mid twenties: boxing had become a huge part of her life by that point. training for hours everyday, competing in amateur fights here and there. she was saving up money to buy a local gym in her neighborhood when a sudden tragedy struck. her mother passed away not too soon before alana's twenty sixth birthday. it was due to health complications that she didn't share with alana - which broke alana's heart. she was devastated that her mother didn't share her health issues with her, and was angry towards her mother for quite a while after her death for that reason, but months in therapy has helped her start to move past that and let the anger go. all the money she had been saving up to buy the gym had to go towards her mother's funeral arrangements and all other loose ends that needed to be tied up; setting alana back at square one all over again.

current day: alana always thought that she was just a normal girl from the bronx. it came as a hell of a shock to her when she was contacted by her father's side of the family to let her know that not only was her father, and by association herself, royalty, but he was the king of the small european country he resided in - making her a princess. she couldn't believe that her life had turned into some fucked up version of the princess diaries. at first she didn't believe them - but after doing some research of her own and going through old papers that her mother kept stashed and hidden away from her, she learned that it was true.

then her life was flipped upside down once more. suddenly she had security following her around at all times, complete strangers vying for her attention. the royal family and consults are trying to control every aspect of her life - she can't box anymore, she can't do this, she can't do that. it's stifling and overwhelming for her. she never wanted this; she was content with her life, for the most part. now it was a complete circus. the one thing that she's held onto is her childhood home. she refuses to move out, although she knows eventually she might have to give in to her new family's wishes and move into a safer, more secure home. but until then, she's fine with having security roaming around her childhood home, as long as she gets to keep one piece of her old life for now.

C O N N E C T I O N S

ex ( multiple ): alana has had a few significant others in her life; some of them she parted with on friendly terms, others not so friendly.

fwb ( multiple ): self explanatory.

users ( multiple ): people that want to be close to alana due to her status and title.

true friends ( multiple ): people that are actually friends with alana because of who she is, not what she is.

boxing mentee: she's not supposed to be boxing anymore, but this person is interested in picking up a few boxing techniques and moves, and lana can't help but give them a helping hand.

best friend / platonic soulmate: self explanatory.

childhood friend: one of the few kids that didn't try to tease of bully her growing up.

gaming buddy ( multiple ): self explanatory.

sense of calm: one of the few people that can calm alana down when her short fuse explodes.

brother / male presenting sibling ( on father's side ): will be sending this wc into the main, but if you're interesting lmk! we can discuss it.

instigator: this person loves to push alana's buttons until she bites back, because they love seeing how feisty she gets.

[evatheediva]

.。o○○o。..。o○○o。..。o○○o。.○o。.。o○

all about me:

2006, Aug - leo

music: ethel cain, solange, the cranberries, radio head, charli xcx, sky fierra, the navy the army, clairo, chappell roan, beabadoobee, cocteau twins

shows/film: the boys + genv, perfect blue, marie antoinette, lost in translation, glee, alta

faves: taylor russell, gabriette, wolfie cindy, nara smith, lana, ethel cain, sza, zendaya, elle fanning, wonyoung

this is my online diary ;)

.。o○○o。..。o○○o。..。o○○o。.○o。.。o○

[hellovisitprashant]

Ultimate Travel Guide for Manali Trip, Himachal Pradesh

Embark on a journey through the breathtaking landscapes of Manali, Himachal Pradesh, with our Ultimate Travel Guide for your next escape.

From the tranquil charm of Solang Valley to the spiritual allure of Hadimba Temple, we unveil the must-visit destinations that define the essence of Manali. Witness the mesmerizing Rohtang Pass and immerse yourself in the local culture at Old Manali.

Our guide ensures you don't miss the thrill of adventurous activities and the serenity of nature's beauty. Plan your perfect Manali trip with us, where each destination promises an unforgettable chapter in your travel diary.

[adventure-himalayas]

Himachal Tour Packages - Get great offers on your Himachal trip packages starting at 12900/- only. Go on a Himachal Tour with Adventure Himalayas..!! DM for details!! #snow #himachalpradesh #himachal #kullumanali #himalayas #oldmanali #winter #diaries #manalidays #travel #india #manalitourism #manalitrance #leadingsmallhotels #indiasfinest #gourmetdining #brooks #luxurystay #manalinda #solang #rohtangpass #manalivibes #spa #travelgram #instahimachal #sparesort #mountains #kullumanaliheavenonearth #boutiqueresort #adventurehimalayas https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmk2Q3evvTv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[marcusbelafonte]

Bianca Lawson in 2019. 😲 (Today is her birthday. 40 years old 🔥🔥. March 20)

[cookie-face77]

[solangvalleyresortofficial]

We at Solang Valley Resorts , Manali are excited to open our doors and welcome you back. We are taking full precautions to ensure YOUR safety along with safety of our staff. Fun fact- Manali itself has O covid cases.

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

Wednesday evening [January 18, 1950] Darling, I received your letter this morning from Monday. It reassured me about your condition and I am glad to know that you will no longer have the excuse of the letter. I looked in my diary for the "appointment" that I did not specify. It was either Boulez who came to bring me a piece to read, or a certain Mr. Montalais who came to bring me a piece to read. Not the same! In any case, both of them are young, beautiful, generous, intelligent, gentle, charming, just the way I like them. If I were you, I wouldn't trust them. Beta! I too eat like a little brute. I'm getting fat. I'm sad you don't have Kim anymore. This letter is so stupid. I have a lot to tell you, but believe me, tonight I'm trying hard to keep my eyes open, and tomorrow I'll write more clearly. Tonight I'd like to have you here and snuggle up with you. I would like to sleep in your arms gently. Take me. I'm drained and a little sad. I love you. I can't imagine the next two and a half months. I need to sleep. I'll feel better tomorrow. Kiss me, my love. I'm reading it again. I'm getting to know you.

Thursday morning [January 19, 1950] I just woke up.  I haven't quite realized it yet. It's snowing outside. I'm in bed and I hear the wind on the balcony. I'm warm and I look at the foggy windows. I don't feel like getting up. I don't want to face this freezing day alone. I want you, your presence, your body, your gaze on me, your arms around me, your lips. I won't go out today, until evening. This morning I am waiting for little Solange who will come to see me at 11 o'clock, then Pierre who will come to have lunch with me and finally a photographer from a newspaper around 3:30 p.m. I have finished reading Les Vagabonds. The first story "Malva" enchanted me. The others, less so. It tires me when it takes on its "anti-equality propaganda" side. But he talks so beautifully about the sea. Ah! Darling. At this hour I'll join you in everything. It's time for me to leave the burning beaches of the Mediterranean.  It's my minute of the olive trees and the blinding light. Ah! The suffocating heat of noon near you on the shore! And that blindness where I can only see you! You can already guess how I love you when I wake up. Good day to you. See you later.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, January 18-19, 1950 [#135]

[xmr-anonymousx]

Dear Tumblr diary,

Heut fing der Tag schon wieder bissel holprig an. Ich bin, wie es in meinem Plan steht, 6 Uhr auf Arbeit. Da in meinem Plan 6-18Uhr drin steht. Als ich dann da war kam vom Schichtleiter plötzlich verwirrt "Was machst du denn hier?". Ja ohne das mir jemand was sagte hat sich meine Schicht für heute verändert zu 7-17Uhr. Saß ich dann halt eine Stunde in der Kantine und hab YouTube geschaut. Aber dafür ging die Zeit echt krass schnell rum, Radio lief dort, ich musste nur 2 Bauarbeitern beim Arbeiten zu sehen im Grunde genommen und saß halt nur gemütlich rum. Auch wenn ich nachmittags fast eingeschlafen wär mal kurz... Aber naja solange keiner das durch die Kamera gesehen hat geht's ja. Und weil die beiden 16Uhr heute schon schluss machten durfte ich dann auch gehen, als Ausgleich dafür das ich 6Uhr ja schon da war weil ich von nix wusste.

Also war's unterm Strich eigentlich der angenehmste Tag der Woche dort. Jetzt erstmal Wochenende, ausruhen und nix tun.

[pinelife3]

Getting Short Stories

I read the short story “The Wind-up Bird and Tuesday’s Women” by Haruki Marukami last weekend. I really enjoyed it - until it finished. Because then it was obvious the story wasn’t going to give me any more help to understand it. Of course, I thought about if after I finished it, still trying to get whatever Murakami was on about. And I’m still thinking about it now. I don’t get it.

(Disclaimer: I cannot give you a clear definition of what it means to get it. It’s the same as when a poem works. It’s something clicking into place. Something you couldn’t learn on Wikipedia. Sweeping clear new pathways in how you think about something. I’d argue that you can get something from a piece of media without explicitly getting the media itself (for example, I love “Burnt Norton” but it is pretty inscrutable to me). Equally, you can get something without really caring about it (see: the more recent seasons of Black Mirror) - but that’s not all that interesting to talk about.)

“The Semplica-Girl Diaries” by George Saunders is an example of a short story I like and get: the character’s actions and motivations are sometimes surprising but still make sense, the world is vivid and interesting, the writing is highlightable, and I think I understand what Saunders is trying to say. Or - if I’ve misunderstood what he’s saying, I’ve been able to wring something satisfying out of it on my own. It means something to me, and I feel moved by the story and its ideas in some inarticulable way. I think I read it in a food court.

“The Wind-Up Bird and Tuesday’s Women” was published in The New Yorker in 1990 and then made its way into Murakami’s 1993 book of short stories The Elephant Vanishes (published in English in ‘93 - it wasn’t published in Japanese until 2005). Probably like many people who have bought the book in the past year, I was inspired to read it after seeing the Korean film Burning (which is based on a story in the collection called “Barn Burning”). Also, I haven’t read any Murakami (that’s a lie: I tried to read Norwegian Wood when I was 21 but didn’t have much patience for it and gave up after ~100 pages) and thought this might be a low-effort way of remedying that.

In terms of the action of the story, The New Yorker summarises it well: 

The narrator, a resident of Tokyo, has quit his job in a law office, and is living as a house husband. One Tuesday morning he receives a phone call from an unknown woman, who says she will help him "come to an understanding," if he'll give her ten minutes. Busy cooking spaghetti for brunch, he hangs up. Later, his wife calls to tell him of a job prospect, as poet and poetry editor of a magazine for young girls. She also asks him to look for their missing cat; it's named Noboru Watanabe, after the wife's brother. She thinks it's in the yard of an abandoned house on their street. In his own yard, the narrator hears a bird screeching; he doesn't know what species of bird it is, but he and his wife think of it as the windup bird: it's there each morning, as if to wind up their world. That afternoon the mysterious woman calls back, and tries to have an erotic dialogue with the narrator. After he hangs up, the phone rings again; he doesn't answer. At the abandoned house, a young girl coaxes him to sunbathe with her. She tells him a fantasy about ripping up a corpse to get at "the lump of death itself." That night, his wife angrily accuses him of killing the cat. He writes a poem: Noboru Watanabe Where have you gone? Did the windup bird Stop winding your spring? The telephone begins ringing once again, but neither the narrator nor his wife will answer it.

This is basically the extent of the story but there are some weird details that add flavour. For example, the protagonist seems to have an auditory fixation. A lot of the story is about him listening to female voices (side note: Murakami is known for having a thing for ears - or formerly having a thing for ears). When a woman calls him on the phone, he makes much of his ability to place voices but has difficulty placing hers. Eventually, their conversation devolves into what is essentially phone sex. He hangs up and avoids answering the phone for the rest of the day, although it keeps ringing. The narrator describes a secret garden path/passage with no entrance or exit. It runs behind all of the houses in his block, so when he walks down it, he has a view into everyone’s backyards: he can see their washing, smell their cooking, etc. He is surprised and suspicious that his wife is familiar with this corridor. (If this were high school English I would be hammering home that the blocked in tunnel is a metaphor for the protagonist’s directionless existence, etc.) The ‘young girl’/teenager mentioned in the summary above, is described as crippled/limping and she mentions that she’s taking the year off school while her leg heals after a bike accident. He falls asleep in a deckchair in her garden while she talks to him. When he wakes up she’s gone. This never goes anywhere. The phone sex never goes anywhere. The corridor never goes anywhere. 

The passages about the wind-up bird are brief and seem trivial while you’re reading them: just lazy, dreamy thoughts from our unemployed protagonist as he drifts off to sleep on a warm Tuesday afternoon:

A regular wind-up toy this world is, I think. Once a day the wind-up bird has to come and wind the springs of this world. Alone in this fun house, only I grown old, a pale softball of death swelling inside me. Yet even as I sleep somewhere between Saturn and Uranus, wind-up birds everywhere are busy at work fulfilling their appointed rounds.

Okay... sure. Clearly, the bird has some significance, but the protagonist spends an equal amount of time thinking about spaghetti. What I also find difficult is that people’s emotions, reactions and motivations in the story don’t make sense. When his wife yells at him at the end of the story, accusing him of killing their cat, I wondered if maybe she was trying to pick a fight, if she’s sick of the marriage and wants out. I also thought she might be more distressed because the cat is named after her brother - how do you tell your brother that the cat you named after him is lost, probably dead. What would that symbolise? Still, to me she seems like an unreasonable person because the way her emotions escalate (apparently without any real trigger) is seriously out of step with normal human behaviour:

I emerge from an after-dinner bath to find my wife sitting all alone the darkened living room. I throw on a gray shirt and fumble through the dark to reach where she’s been dumped like a piece of luggage. She looks so utterly forsaken. If only they’d left her in another spot, she might have seemed happier.

...I take a seat on the sofa opposite her. “What’s the matter?” I ask. “The cat’s dead, I just know it,” my wife says. “Oh c’mon,” I protest. “He’s just off exploring. Soon enough he’ll get hungry and head on back. The same thing happened once before, remember? That time when we were still living in Koenji -” “This time it’s different. I can feel it. The cat’s dead and rotting away in the weeds. Did you search the grass in the vacant house?” “Hey no, stop it. It may be a vacant house, but it’s somebody’s house. I’m not about to go trespassing.” “You killed it!” my wife accuses.

I heave a sigh and give my head another once-over with the towel.

“You killed it with that look of yours!” she repeats from the darkness. “How does that follow?” I say. “The cat disappeared of its own doing. It’s not my fault. That much you’ve got to see.” “You! You never liked that cat, anyway!” “Okay, maybe so,” I admit. “At least I wasn’t as crazy about the cat as you were. Still, I never mistreated it. I fed it every day. Just because I wasn’t enthralled with the little bugger doesn’t mean I killed it. Start saying things like that and I end up having killed half the people on earth.” “Well, that’s you all over,” my wife delivers her verdict. “That’s just so you. Always, always that way. You kill everything without ever playing a hand.”

I am about to counter when she bursts into tears. I can the speech and toss the towel in the bathroom basket, go to the kitchen, take a beer out of the refrigerator, and chug. What an impossible day it’s been!

Am I dumb? Do I not understand adult relationships? Because this seems like a very weird exchange to me. Does the way he reacts to her accusations, with exasperation rather than anger or surprise, suggest that he’s seen her behave like this before? A pop culture analogue: remember the video of Solange beating up Jay-Z in an elevator after the 2014 Met Gala?

Jay-Z is in the white suit. Solange is the one hitting him. There’s a bodyguard trying to keep them apart. And Beyoncé is standing there calmly - not getting involved, just trying to protect her outfit. Here they are directly after the incident.

What a fucking pro. Thousand yard smile. 

At the time, speculation was rife about what Jay-Z did to trigger such a beating (in italics because it’s still surprising that everyone was so okay with the domestic violence). What really thrilled people was the crack in the facade of perfection. A glimpse into their lives that hadn’t been perfectly curated, something we were never meant to see. The common read was that Jay-Z must have done something because otherwise Beyoncé would have stepped in to protect him. The consensus now is that Solange had found out that he’d cheated on her sister. Maybe even that he’d done something at the Gala. This is all now part of the Carter canon because they’ve referenced it in their music to great commercial and critical success.

Another interesting interpretation was that perhaps Beyoncé had seen Solange raging and uncontrollable many times before and knew how to weather the storm. Maybe Solange has a temper when she drinks? Maybe she’ll have an outburst, and all you can do is stay out of the way and ignore it until the mood passes and she sobers up. Perhaps her family is used to this behaviour. There’s no point engaging or trying to reason with her, you just have to let her get it out and then smile for the press at the elevator doors. 

As with Beyoncé, maybe our protagonist is accustomed to bad behaviour: recriminations, tears, tantrums. You kill everything. Most people would want to dig in if their partner said something like that. But perhaps it doesn’t trigger such a strong reaction in him anymore. Another odd behavioural detail, perhaps again showing the protagonist’s muted response to the world, is that he is pretty indifferent to the mysterious phone call. He resolves not to answer the phone, but is otherwise not at all curious about who’s calling him. If I received a call like that from a shadowy stranger, I would sacrifice a great deal to find out who was behind it. I know I’m not alone here - because, as every scammer knows, the most efficient way to get someone to open an email which it is in their best interest to not open (full of malware, spyware, etc.), is to include a declaration of love or romantic interest in the subject line.

Searching for some connection between the events of the story, I wondered if maybe the wife hired the woman on the phone to seduce her husband so that she’d have a concrete reason to divorce him. But this doesn’t really track because just earlier in the day she was encouraging him to stay a house husband - why would she do that if she wanted to leave him? 

There are lots of weird details in the story, none of which signify much to me. Our protagonist is unemployed, he doesn’t have much to do and isn’t looking for much to do, his voice as narrator is anxious, circular, repetitive. The key themes seem to be curiosity, restlessness, loneliness, directionlessness, nessness, etc. But unless the point is that everything that happened in the story was pointless, and that’s supposed to echo the protagonist’s torpor, I don’t get it. Basically every major plot element is still a question mark - are we supposed to dismiss those as magical realism or wishful thinking on the part of the protagonist and move on with our lives, never being curious about who the lady on the telephone is, or why the girl has a messed up leg and won’t go to school? I can’t do it. I want to know! I want to get it.   

Fortunately for us, Murakami wrote a novel called The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle which spins off the short story into the first chapter of the novel and runs from there. Do you think it answers any of my questions above?

Remember the cat named after the wife’s brother? In the novel, the brother is an incestuous rapist. Maybe that is why the narrator doesn’t care for the cat much. Maybe that’s why the wife is accusing her husband of killing it? Some kind of wishful thinking? Still, we don’t get any background on the relationship with her brother until The Wind-up Bird Chronicle so you’re kind of grasping at air in the short story. 

In a chapter of the novel apparently not published in English versions (according to Wikipedia, Vintage, the English publisher, was concerned the book was too long so they had the translator cut about 61 pages from the original 1,379 pages), it is revealed that the phone sex lady was actually his wife. Twist! In the short story he said of the woman’s voice:

I have absolutely no recollection of ever heading this woman’s voice before. And I pride myself on a near-perfect ear for voices, so I’m sure there’s no mistake. This is the voice of a woman I don’t know. A soft, low nondescript voice.

I presume his skill for placing voices isn’t in the novel. Because that seems like a pretty lame trick to pull on your reader. It’s one thing to have an unreliable narrator. But an incompetent, overconfident one is just setting you up for a shitty experience. That’s a book I don’t want to read. I also don’t want to read it because it’s 1,318 pages, so that’s that.

Perhaps it’s wrong to judge Murakami based on one short story. But he put this one at the start of the book! And actually (even though I’ve read hardly any of his stuff) I would argue this story is probably representative of his work. Check out this Murakami bingo card:

Appearing in “The Wind-up Bird and Tuesday’s Women”:

Mysterious woman

Ear fetish? Perhaps not - but, like I said, an auditory fixation for sure

Unexpected phone call

Cats

Urban ennui

Secret passageway

Precocious teenager

Cooking

Vanishing cats

This story is in his usual stylistic neighborhood. He’s got to be comfy here. 

What do people like about Murakami? Does his writing make me feel like the universe is singing a song? Certainly, this story has stuck with me. By which I mean, it plagues my every waking thought. It torments me. It twists my toes backwards, blocks the drain of my shower with hair, corrupts my Excel files. It is a blight I shall bear for the rest of my life: who was on the phone? Not only do I not get Murakami, but I don’t get what others might like about him. Like I said at the top, I did enjoy reading this story because there were tantalising threads. I could tolerate the dull inner monologue about the narrator’s erstwhile legal career and how he felt as he drifted off for an afternoon nap if there were a resolution to at least one of the story’s mysteries. But this story does not pay off. Not even a little bit. The idea that you need to read 1,300 more pages for a resolution is frustrating. In 2014, The Guardian covered an event where Murakami spoke about The Wind-up Bird Chronicle:

The author of 13 novels and many short stories admitted to having completely forgotten what he has written – or indeed why – when asked about specific plot points, without seeming bothered at all. “Really?” and “I don’t remember that” were two of his most frequent answers, and he had the audience laughing at his frankness every time. “It was published 20 years ago and I haven’t read it since then!” he said of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, around which the event centred...

“I don’t have any idea at all, when I start writing, of what is to come. For instance, for The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, the first thing I had was the call of the bird, because I heard a bird in my back yard (it was the first time I heard that kind of sound and I never have since then. I felt like it was predicting something. So I wanted to write about it). The next thing was cooking spaghetti – these are things that happen to me! I was cooking spaghetti, and somebody call. So I had just these two things at the start. Two years I kept on writing. It’s fun! I don’t know what’s going to happen next, every day. I get up, go to the desk, switch on the computer, etc. and say to myself: “so what’s going to happen today?” It’s fun!” 

Fun for you, maybe.

I don’t think a feature of good fiction is wacky shit inexplicably occurring with no explanation or follow up - otherwise, it’s not a narrative.

I don’t need every plot line neatly resolved, and I don’t need to be told explicitly what everything means (I’m happy to do some legwork on my own) but none of the plot points are resolved at all in "The Wind-up Bird and Tuesday’s Women”. In fiction, as in life, I want things to be connected, to have a cause and effect relationship. I want things to make sense: to have a trigger, make an impact, be remembered. Even if the trigger is hidden, I want people to react to the things happening around them in a plausible way. Ideally, I want to think the things in the story mattered. 

“Up in Michigan” by Hemingway is a short story I like. It’s an interesting depiction of sexual politics, innocent female affection, etc. As I’ve gotten older, the reasons I like it have changed. When I read it when I was 20, I felt some kind of feminine kinship across time with the protagonist because she falls for the wrong guy, and her romanticism is crushed by the weight of the drunk guy she likes falling asleep on her after some bad sex, and she loses a little bit of herself that night - yes, her virginity but also some trust and whatever. And now I find it kind of amusing because you know Hemingway killed with the ladies and probably played the heart breaker (or the drunk dude falling asleep on some poor girl) a hundred times over so it’s funny to imagine Hemingway in his early 20s, having just got done stomping some girl’s romantic aspirations, then sitting down to write this story, all soulful and sensitive, as if he gave a fuck about girls crying over boys who will never like them. Still, Hemingway’s short stories fucking kill. Killing fuck. They’re good. In “Up in Michingan” as in many of Hemingway’s stories, things are implied rather than uttered (as per the law in Hemingwayland), so sometimes you don’t know the background to a conversation and have to deduce what two characters are talking about, but the dynamic between them is revealed through dialog and their actions. You may not understand why something happened, and often there’s no narrator to help you out, but you infer how people feel about it and what it means to them. Not everything needs to happen for a reason: sometimes babies are born with cancer, sometimes the guy you like doesn’t like you back, sometimes guys get into fights outside bars, sometimes you meet a weird teenager in a secret garden path. But the things that happen should matter to you, to your reader, and to your protagonist, at least a little bit. Otherwise what’s the point?