#sofia rambles about fics

[chaithetics]

hey I had an idea for a stewy fic! Maybe it’s Roy!reader who gets scared on their wedding day (bc they’re a Roy and are not used to love) and stewy comforts them beforehand? I don’t know if that makes sense haha

Roy-ful Wedding Jitters

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x Roy Reader

Word count: 2.1K

Author's note: Ah! I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for how long this was in my inbox. I owe you big time and I'm getting around to the older requests, I really hope you love this and it was worth the note! Not proofread so do enjoy y'all! I think this is ending the biggest gap between fics I've had so I'm sorry, love you all! Also, wear sunscreen!

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, anxiety, not the best self-esteem, Roy childhood dynamics, mild cursing.

****************************

It was a peaceful morning, or it should’ve been, it was a peaceful-looking morning at least. Well peaceful as long as you didn’t look in a mirror and see the fear in your eyes or the growing shake in your hands. The weather was perfect, it was sunny and beautiful but it wasn’t too hot and even though you shouldn’t say it, if somebody forgot to wear sunscreen for a couple of hours, they’d get off burn-free. 

This day had been perfectly chosen, the location, venue, color scheme and of course, the weather to ensure it was the perfect location at the perfect time. Just as everything was when the Roy name was attached and you had a casual perfectionist like Stewy Hosseini as your groom. Your wedding day had been carefully curated as if it were an exhibition at the most pretentious and lauded of museums and galleries. The receipts, emails, and photos could be packaged like Sofia Coppola’s Archive and sold as another overpriced coffee table book that wouldn’t get touched beyond the hands of the wealthy at a ridiculous launch event. 

Despite the sheer perfection of this intimate Italian wedding, you were shaking slightly and there had been a ball of dread growing in your stomach the moment that woke you up. The kind of almost nausea you had that was pre-flying anxiety whenever you had a flight, the one that means you don’t eat the morning of and then feel even more nauseated later because of that. 

You rub your eyes and look at him, sleeping blissfully, completely ignorant of the shitstorm swirling inside of his bride. You’re still feeling anxious. Anxious to be this vulnerable in front of another human being, to be so vulnerable on an intimate level. Love is a weakness, a desire, and you’re declaring in front of everyone and legally that this person, this man holding you right now is your weakness. It’s terrifying. 

You get out of bed and start to pace as you think about how you’re just as cursed as everyone else in your family and all their doomed relationships that were infertile for love and how nobody in the Roy family ever got the memo of what a healthy relationship is. You start to anxiously scratch your neck as you come to the conclusion that just like everything else in your life, this day is doomed. It’s cursed in fact! You can’t help but think. 

Unsure of whether to scream, run away or cry you look around the room. You even think about climbing out of the window of the suite… Why are you thinking this when there’s a door. A goddamn door you could just climb out of! You facepalm yourself and mutter under your breath how stupid you are. These feelings are very real and it’s definitely not a trauma response or form of self-sabotage you think to yourself. 

Stewy wakes up and you hear him whisper that it’s because of your pacing as he looks at you with sleep still in his eyes and his hair handsomely but messily tousled from sleep. It’s only then that you realize that you had been pacing. 

“I need something to drink… juice… fruit juice.” You said as you paced around the room. 

“Fruit juice…?” Stewy asked curiously, he’d only just woken up and he was trying to keep track with the frantic rambling while also calming your nerves. 

“Yeah, fruit juice!” You said it almost defensively and then tried to take a deep breath but the oxygen wouldn’t go all the way down to the pit of your stomach like it should. “Your body absorbs glucose quicker through liquids than solids. ” You added on in a less defensive tone. 

“Um…okay?” Stewy was feeling more confused as he watched you. “Are you going to explain the difference between veins and arteries to me next?” He asked in a curious and gentle tone with a slight inflection of amusement. 

“Maybe my blood sugar’s low.” 

“Low? Your blood sugar? Are you okay?” Stewy’s voice was more concerned now and his face reflected that as his eyes widened and he tilted his head. Stewy quickly poured a drink and handed it to you, you drank it immediately while pacing with your back to him. 

“Maybe today is cursed?” “It’s not cursed, hon-” “But,” you cut him off. “Look at us, we’re sleeping in the same suite, same bed. I woke up as the little spoon Stew. It’s breaking tradition, bad luck, curse-” “That’s like not even a superstition, you’re not wedding superstitious.” He says as he runs a hand through his dark curls. 

“Maybe I should’ve been? This is-” “Honey, it’s a tradition. An outdated one that just doesn’t reflect modern relationships anymore. We live together. Kinda defeats that whole thing, that was when couples didn’t live together, it was arranged marriages and you met at the altar.” “I know.” You whisper, and you do. 

“Fortunately for us, that’s not our situation at all.” He smiles at you and you sigh as you look around, this hasn’t done anything for your anxiety yet though. 

“Did you ever think that-that… that well, anxiety is like a parasite-” You start to say before he cuts you off. 

You’re just taking turns doing it now, he cuts you off to reassure you and then you cut yourself off to catastrophize more. What a morning of the wedding day dynamic you’ll think about in 5 years. “No, I haven’t but-” Stewy sounds mildly flabbergasted but he’s still trying. “And I had this parasite left in me, that they didn’t even know to take out when I was born. An awful little parasite of the parasitic qualities of my parents and it just ate away… fed and grew during every fucking developmental stage Stewy.” “You don’t have a parasite.” He’s being soft and genuine with you as he speaks through all of the worst fears your spitting out at him right now. 

“No, I’ve become the parasite, the poison drips through and it trickled right into feeding and I’m… I’m just like him. I don’t want to be Stew, but I am.” There’s a desperation in your voice but also a resolution. “You’re nothing like your father. Right now, you share his last name and that is it. You are not him and you are not doomed to repeat the cycle.” Stewy says as he looks into your eyes. 

“I’m a parasite and I’m just consumed… I’m going to latch onto you and just ruin you and this is just going to become miserable Stewy. I’m a Roy, it’s just…it’s just how it works. Look at my parents. My dad and his marriages. My dad and every relationship he’s had.” You say as you frantically run your fingers through your hair. 

“Again, you’re not your dad. And you’re not your mother. We’re not your parents or any other weird item they’ve been a part of.” He says as he steps closer to you and tries to gently caress your arms. 

“You get rid of parasites through antiparasitics and antibiotics, not marriage! That’s li-like… that’s like signing away your life for the parasite to chew on!” You spit out nervously. 

“Good thing you’re not a parasite and you can’t marry them. And also for medicine existing.” Stewy says, he puts on a warm smile and his eyes glow as he tries to reassure you. “You’re okay babe, you’re okay. Just talk to me, just some jitters? What’s going on?” 

His voice is so gentle as always and perfect. The way he speaks is just warm and inviting, like a cosy bath you just want to sink into and forget about everything in. His stupidly perfect voice just always had a way of making you melt, whether that was when he was trying to reassure you at your breaking point (right now), flirting with you and even when he was talking Wall St finance bro jargon and rubbish. 

You took a deep breath and looked at him, your eyes were watery. 

“Fuck…Now my eyes are watery and I’m going to get scolded for being puffy when they do make up, Stew.” You wiped your eyes and Stew quickly pulled you into his arms again and you rested your head against his chest as you tried to breathe. 

“Some deep breaths honey, I love you and you love me.” He rubs your back gently in a comforting pattern and you take some deep breaths as you keep your face pressed against his comforting warmth. 

“I do love you.” You whisper against his chest, you’re feeling a bit calmer now and enjoying the circular motions of how he’s gently caressing your back. Your words bring a smile to his face which you don’t see. 

“Uh-huh, that’s why we’re getting married. We love each other lots, and always will. I haven’t seen the dress but I know you’re going to look smoking.” He says sweetly but the playful tone is evident and it makes you smile a little.

There’s still a feeling of terror dwelling inside of you but it’s easing up a bit, you look at him Stewy and you can’t help but be that scary thing, the thing your siblings run from and your father scolds, but vulnerable. 

“What if I fuck it all up? That’s all… That’s all that Roys seems to be able to do.” You say sadly as you look up at him, you love him and it’s all you want to do. 

Stewy gently caresses your face, his soft fingertips dancing across your cheek and he smiles adoringly. 

“Well, it’s a good thing that in a few hours you’ll be a Hosseini.” You both let out a small chuckle at that and your eyes get a little teary at how he knows just how to disarm you perfectly with his big brown eyes, and his sweet and silly humour. “But even if you weren’t,” he adds on tenderly. “It doesn’t mean you’re the people before you, or your siblings. This isn’t bad, this doesn’t make you weak. It’d be such a lonely life if you never let anyone in, honey. Nobody deserves to feel the kind of loneliness you think you deserve because you grew up with that man and never experienced the love you deserved. That wasn’t normal or your fault. You’re worth love, you let me in and I love you. I loved you before you did and I love you even more now, and I’m just going to keep loving you.” His words are earnest and you can’t help but become even more tearier. It’s not from self-doubt or self-hate like it was before. Instead it’s from being so seen and loved by Stewy. Having someone reassure your worries and reactions, confrontations to being loved. Something that’s just so, so, so, so foreign to the Roys. 

You look up at his big beautiful brown eyes and you see that he means every word he’s just said. He’s still hugging you but he caresses your cheek with one hand and you let out a content sigh at that. 

“I’m sorry for… for this… I’m just… I don’t know, scared and-and you know how it gets sometimes. I love you more than anything though Stewy.” You admit as you lift your hand up to sit on his cheek and feel his always perfectly trimmed beard tickle against your palm and fingertips. 

“I know, I know, and I love you.” He says back softly. 

You lean and tilt your head and you two kiss, it starts off soft and you can’t help but deepen it as you once again admit to yourself, the all-consuming love you have for him and the need you have for him. The desire and need that is sparked by his simple existence, his cologne, his beard and how it feels against your face and hands, his voice of warm honey on a cold day. 

His hand is firmly on your waist and he kisses you back, your hand snakes up to caress and run through his hair and you gasp for air against his lips but you don’t dare to pull away. You love him and you’re happy to have him, so happy. You kiss passionately as you know this is the start of the next milestone, the milestone happening today. He genuinely cares about you and you’re loved and you love, you love him. You’re capable of receiving and giving love and as you kiss your groom in your room before the intimate but big-deal ceremony, you know this is right. This is what’s right and you deserve this.

[robertphilip]

do you have any headcanons for what happened to giselle’s store now that she doesn’t have it?

I do !! but you're gonna have to listen to me ramble about canon a bit first, because I'm the number one Disenchanted defender 💖

There's actually nothing in the movie or novel that states Giselle lost her studio, and it lowkey (highkey) confuses me when people say she did. The movie fails to directly mention Andalasia Fashions, sure, but that doesn't automatically mean she lost/sold it ? And in the junior novel, Giselle tells Malvina she plans on opening a new studio in Monroeville (which she eventually does). So, the idea that Giselle gave up her job/stopped working and is nothing more than a stay at home wife/mother simply isn't true. But also, I think it's a bit silly that people are so mad at the possibility she might be a stay at home wife/mother. like why is that so offensive ?? She owned her dress business for ten years, and worked regularly, maybe she just wants a break?

I think a lot of people also forget, or simply missed the line about Sofia's age, but she's only a year old. She needs her mama, and Giselle doesn't have to go back to work yet if she doesn't want to. And Robert definitely makes enough to provide for their family on his own, so she doesn't really need to go back either. It's possible Giselle simply wanted to be home with her baby, and took a longer maternity leave because she could. And I don't really see why that's an issue.

Also, I never see anyone bring up the fact that Giselle is definitely dealing with postpartum depression ?? Like, she's so obviously depressed in the sequel, and you can't convince me that's not at least partially linked to the fact that she recently gave birth. It's possible she just wasn't in the right headspace to return to work yet.

Now, I do wish the movie had kept the line about her new studio in, for sure, and I don't get why it was cut, but at the end of the day, they never once mention Giselle closing it down, or losing it, or selling it, or giving up work completely. In fact, during the opening narration, Giselle is shown sleeping with fabric and sketchbooks around her. So, she could've been working from home, too.

It's also worth mentioning that in the jr. novel, Giselle is shown working in her studio, but she was overworking herself/not finishing until well after midnight, so again, my girl was simply exhausted, and needed a break 🤧

Okay, whew, sorry. Now that that's over, let's dive into my headcanons 🫡

Personally, I headcanon that her pregnancy was pretty hard on her. She was overjoyed, of course, and excited to have her baby, but it was still an exhausting, and overall not very fun pregnancy. I also hc that she ended up needing an emergency C-section, and all of this really took a toll on her mental health. This made the choice to return to work pretty difficult, and Giselle ended up taking a longer maternity leave.

I do think that she tried going back. Giselle tried to do a few days here and there, for a just a few hours, but it wasn't ever easy. Her head (and heart) just wasn't in it, and she eventually goes back on leave.

Then they move to Monroeville. Personally, I think Giselle kept Andalasia Fashions open, because I don't see why she'd close it (and canon never said she did). I think she still owns the business, and left May (Nancy's assistant from the first movie) in charge. I headcanon she and Giselle became really close once they started working together, and May had no issues taking over.

As I mentioned above, Giselle tells Malvina she plans on opening a new studio.

There's no timeline mentioned for when she opens it, but it's mentioned that she eventually opens it right next to Robert's law firm.

As much as I love the movie's ending, I think this ending is really sweet, and I would've love to see it. But I definitely consider it canon, and I have a small fic here (x) where she and Robert discuss opening their places side by side if you want to read 😋

So yeah. I think she's still the owner of Andalasia Fashions, and she definitely stops by, she's not ignoring it, but she regularly works in her new studio, A Fairy-Tale Life.

In short, yes, Giselle stopped working, but that's because she just had a baby, and she was battling with depression. I think she's far too restless to stay away from work forever, but I also don't think she's the kind of person who wants to leave her kids with anyone that isn't family or a close friend. like, she isn't against daycare, of course, but I think Giselle would hate having to leave her baby at a center when she's able to be home herself. and Robert is a pretty successful lawyer. have you seen their apartment ? the director of the first movie said he and Patrick would often joke that he must be a millionaire if he lives in that building/that area. and I don't think Robert is that rich, of course, but I definitely think they're wealthy enough that Giselle can stay home if she wants.

so. yeah.

[johaerys-writes]

Not counting Patrochilles:

1) Who are your favorite characters from Greek mythology (in general)? 2) Who are your favorite Homer characters specifically?

Omg what a great question. So I have many many favourites when it comes to Greek myths, it's hard to choose. I basically grew up reading simplified versions of these myths, specifically these children's books by Sofia Zarampouka (a greek author and painter, I'm sure any Greeks following me will recognise these lol):

Just look at all those gorgeous covers. I had the whole series at some point and I have no idea where it is now, but I used to read these over and over when I was younger.

I absolutely loved reading about the labours of Heracles, those were really fun even though I didn't love Heracles himself as a character. I also really liked Theseus' story (Ariadne and her yarn! The maze! The Minotaur! Poor Aegeus dying at the end aksjs so sad) even though, again, I never much liked Theseus as a character haha. Atalanta was one of my favourites and her myth is very cool, and I also liked Perseus' story a lot. Antigone is a huge favourite, as well as Iphigeneia. I find their stories very compelling and very tragic and I think about them a lot!!!!

Another one that I absolutely love is Medea and her story with Jason and the Argonauts. The Argonauts on their own have a very interesting myth (heroes that sail to a strange land with strange customs in search of the mythical golden fleece) but the appearance of Medea and her later story with Jason is what makes it a fascinating story for me. She is the embodiment of what most Greeks at the time would find at once incredibly alluring and incredibly threatening: she is foreign (the Other), beautiful, powerful, she has hidden knowledge and magic, she defies her own father and kills her brother to help Jason escape. And when Jason, dickhead that he is, abandons her to marry someone else, she commits the ultimate taboo of killing her own children. She is such a polarising and blood-chilling character and I really love seeing how much she has inspired artists through the centuries.

As for Homeric characters, I do love Hector a lot, and the moments when he appears in the Iliad are among my favourites, alongside all the Patrochilles moments. I find Nestor very entertaining and he's always a delight when he appears, and I also enjoy Diomedes' and Odysseus' bro chemistry a lot lol. Clytemnestra is also one of my favourite characters in Greek myth in general. Technically it's Euripides' version of her that I love, based on his Iphigeneia at Aulis play, she doesn't appear in the Homeric works but she is mentioned so it counts lol. I also really love Briseis-- even though she talks very little in the Iliad, I still love her characterisation and the overall role and significance she has in the story. Another one I really love is Priam, I cannot read the passages where he appears in the Iliad without tearing up, he's just such a kind and noble person and his interactions with other characters in the epic give so much depth and nuance to Trojan society and culture and the tragedy that befell them.

Most of my fave Homeric characters are from the Iliad, but I should give special mention to some Odyssey characters I really love. I always found Circe very intriguing and the descriptions of her island and her magic etc are SO interesting and I wish we had been given more!! (Honestly even though I adore the Iliad I always found the Odyssey much more fun to read lol). Telemachus and Peisistratus are also special blorbos (and here I should give a shoutout to the amazing @figsandphiltatos for writing the fic that made me insane for them alsjs 😭🙏)

Gosh this is already so long and I feel like I could talk about this forever ahaha. I probably left a lot of characters and myths out but didn't want to ramble too much. Thank you once again for this question!

[zegraslvr]

❀ 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝒏𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞!

get to know me!

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠!

who i write for

masterlist

la chica del bikini azul au masterlist

margaret au masterlist

request: open!

𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬!

— february dump | trevor x famous!oc

— (coming soon!)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬!

#sofia rambles - me talking about random things

#inbox chatter! - my replies to asks, comments, or questions.

#sofia’s writings 🥂 - all of my writings.

#sofia’s headcanons 💌 - self explanatory.

#zegraslvr recs - all of my fic recs.

#random thoughts - self explanatory.

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬!

rules for requesting

[ceruleanterrapin]

Basically, as its name suggest its A mess. Sofia is a song abt one sided wlw crush thats soft and sad, curses is. Indescribable bc crane wives have a certain unique vibe and the best i can describe is wailing angsty fic in a song. And crazy = genius is like super noisy abt being wild and also something abt arson ig?

Tldr: the songs i mentioned is abt a soft sad one sided love, wailingly angsty and noisy wild.

Omg i forgot i have rät in this playlist. (Its abt being complicit in things that you later regret according to genius website. I interpret it as abt society)

Im sorry i keep sending such long asks. I am very enthusiastic abt music.

-louieq

Haha, it's alright. I enjoy seeing you guys ramble about what you enjoy

[emily-prentits]

im rewatching greys and im fully on the meddison train which i never at all picked up on when i would watch before—callie owned me and calzona were so good before they got so bad—but now im like. mer x addy all the way. derek should’ve died quicker even.

not going to lie- i laughed reading this. i love getting anons like this i feel like we're besties just talking about our shared interest <3 the little things that make me go :DD

you have all the correct opinions about callie and calzona (i am still SO SAD over them. choosing to believe they are together w sofia in new york <3)

AND MEDDISON. grgh my BELOVEDS!!! i just updated my fluffy multi so i still have swirling feelings about them so i will try my best to be coherent but they are so!!!! can you believe i've been on my meddison bullshit since MARCH?? neither can i. what the fuck.)

meredith and addison had SO MUCH TENSION in the early seasons. like meredith?? just talking about how hot addison is?? all the time??several times in a season?? man. they don't write female interactions NEARLY as gay as they did in the early 2000s and its truly a loss for the gay community. "wore my new lipgloss bc his wife is isabella freakin' rosselini and im me" always makes me laugh sm shes so funny and for what? to NOT get with addison?? smh.

(dont even GET ME STARTED on that bar scene from addison's first return to seattle. THAT EYE CONTACT. i will be screaming about it FOREVER.)

correct. derek should have died faster so we could have gotten the elevator scene faster!!! lead in to the gayness 😌

and the later seasons.... yeah that elevator scene... god. they are so soft and there is so much! potential! for them to just be in LOVE! addie meeting the kids could be a PERFECT gateway for fic to be like after the kids were put to bed they kissed. i wonder if there are any fics of this happening actually...

anyway 😭 i am sorry ramble is over. but i would love to know your future thoughts about meddison if you have any!!! i love talking about them if you couldn't tell :))

[angeloncewas]

Hey, I got you in the secret exchange for d20 and you’ve got a couple characters I feel like I could do a decent job of creating something for but I was wondering if you had any particular quotes or songs you associate with Riz, Adaine, fig, Sandra Lynn, Sofia, Ricky, or Esther ?

- Thx, your secret gifter <3

Hey ! Sorry for the late response, I've been swamped. And thank you for reaching out <3

This isn't an outside quote, which sounds like what you're looking for, but I am fascinated by Riz and his grief (I feel like it's somewhat underexplored) and I adore this quote from Kalina about him:

I think a lot about by Siobhan saying Adaine is a king (of soldier, poet, king)

Fig & Sandra Lynn together are so Nothing New by Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers vibes. I saw art and an edit and the connection is now unshakable. Many feelings about seeing yourself in your daughter and fearing it and loving her endlessly. Also for Sandra Lynn: Moon Song. "You are sick, and you're married/And you might be dying/But you're holding me like water in your hands" GIRL. Fig: Girls Your Age (Transviolet) (early Fig), (Paramore) I'm Not Angry Anymore, Devil Town (Cvtown)...

Sofia... I honestly can't think of anything off the top of my head but I love her. Addiction and grief are quite personal to me so she really hits. I also like that she throws hands as she should. These are not quotes or songs, sorry I'm fully rambling.

Ricky is summed up (not in his entirety, he's not that simple) by this post to me ! Great post, fantastic even.

Esther... Savior Complex? This is an overabundance of Phoebe Bridgers but there's a great fic titled after it.

IDK if any of this is at all helpful, feel free to talk more if you have more questions ;; I haven't thought very much about related quotes but this makes me wanna web weave.

[junebugclaremontdiaz]

Ask me anything: WIP edition

Tagged by @wordsofhoneydew and @itsmaybitheway ty! I have quite a few wips so this will not be an exhaustive list, but here are some of the things I'm working on! They're in varying stages, but the first two are outlined. Feel free to ask about anything I am always up to ramble.

Beg to stick around: June Claremont-Díaz was kidnapped soon after Alex was born, and he has always been raised with her ghost. Meanwhile June found out at 18 that something wasn't right with her family. Since then, she has been on her own. The fic takes us through June reuniting with the family and Henry and Alex's story. A lot of sibling feels!

Mountains out of Molehills: Kensington divergence, takes us through over a decade after the events of the book. It is messy, there are a lot of emotions in here. This baby can fit a lot of trauma!

Let down the muse: Up and coming musician Alex Claremont-Díaz meets Henry when he is hired for one of Pez Okonjo's events. 3 years later the two are a mess and Alex has skyrocketed in fame. When an unreleased song of Alex's goes viral Henry decides it's time to make amends.

Unnamed single dad Alex one-shot: Alex hasn't dated since Sofia came into his life, and he's just fine with that, really Nora, he is.

Broadway au: Alex is performing as Orpheus on Broadway when Henry sees him. He has never felt more like his mother's son than when he finds himself standing in front of the security, attempting to talk his way into the back to meet the captivating performer.

Therapy fic: Post canon in Brooklyn

Smoke signals: lakehouse trip post canon, Henry and Oscar get to talking

Nueva Creación: Enby Alex confronting what that means moving forward

Smile for the camera: Ellen and Oscar were Hollywood heartthrobs, and Alex is attempting to navigate a very public life while he keeps running into Henry Fox.

tagging: @ninzied @ladyknightellen @indestructibleheart @kiwiana-writes @firenati0n @littlemisskittentoes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

[indestinatus]

actually when the ep aired i talked about a similar idea in the ellick gc but i ended up not writing anything 👀 thanks for tagging me though!! I am writing that down because i really like that trope heHEHE IT'S WHAT WE DESERVED YES WE DID

cliché but classic trope: when the person who almost died wakes up in a hospital bed, looks around and sees the object of their affection sleeping uncomfortably in the chair next to them because they haven’t moved in days.

[indestinatus]

tiva fanfiction author recommendations plz I need some good tiva to read

OKAY SO

This has been sitting in my inbox for a couple of days because I had to think SO HARD about my favorite authors and I was sure I would forget some of them. I started reading fanfiction almost ten years ago, so a lot of the titles and names have been lost in my memory by now. There are some more recent stories (which the authors are active) and the ones I get back to reread, so I’ll list those. Some works are still in progress. Here are some of my favorite tiva stories in no particular order:

Christmas Meeting by @beatrixacs [M, 368,073 word count, in progress]

Christmas 2015. Prague, Czech Republic. An unexpected meeting between two former co-workers after more than two years from their parting in Israel that will make them realize that their feelings towards each other are stronger than before. But will they do anything about it? And what does the future look like for them? AU Season 13.

Kissing Deal by @beatrixacs [M, 247,815 word count, complete]

Tony and Ziva are posing as a married couple in a hotel for a week to keep an eye on another married couple that is involved in their last case and to find some evidence against them. As a part of marital necessities they make a deal about kisses. Will they finally find their way to each other thanks to it?

a crawl to cross the distance by @benditlikepress [M, 6,258 word count, complete]

Tony and Ziva’s first date ended up happening 15 years after they first met, 5 years and 7 months after their daughter was born, and just over a month after they were reunited for good.

leave before the lights come on by @benditlikepress [M, 9,049 word count, complete]

The night before Ziva is assigned to NCIS, she crosses paths with one member of the team in a bar. Set between Kill Ari Pt 2 and Silver War.

That We May Forgive by @justkindaoverhereobsessing [G, 12,875 word count, complete]

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first (makes a comparison between Tali’s pregnancy and a second child in the DiNozzo family)

We Are an Ocean by @justkindaoverhereobsessing [M, 120,164 word count, in progress]

The first time they sleep together, it's easy. It makes sense, partners transitioning to friends and maybe friends with benefits. Letting emotions in, though? That might be a different story (tiva sleeping together and the repercussions of it throughout the episodes)

Heat wave by jelenamichel [M, 24,685 word count, complete]

What was it they said about excessive heat having an effect on a person's ability to think clearly? A heat wave in DC brings the tension between two agents to boiling point. 

Famiglia by jelenamichel [T, 83,903 word count, complete]

When DiNozzo Senior's health takes a hit Tony finds out about long-kept secrets and lies. His life begins to change as his two families collide, and he battles with who he wants to be versus the man he seems destined to become.

I See You by @storywriter30 [T, 8,491 word count, complete] 

And suddenly, it is the Fall of 2009 and he is seeing her for the first time again. All of her strength, all of her scars, all of their history, lay bare in front of him (Tony finds Ziva is alive in Paris).

The Liaison by @hundan [E, 28,470 word count, in progress]

Some days it's hard to remember why it is you do your job, this was highly evident today for Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. When he left Gibbs, his boss, in the motherland to take a overseas deployment to Israel he thought the whole thing would be an experience of a lifetime. Maybe he was wrong, but maybe he was right. AU

The Past Forgotten by @hundan [T, 75,315 word count, complete] 

"I'm sorry, I don't know you" Tony said, simply. Like that one single comment hadn't ripped her heart out and stomped all over it. She was his partner, she's not meant to be forgotten by him of all people.

Hoping for Happiness by @jaelke421 [M, 265,887 word count, complete]

Tiva romance. Chronicles their transition from friends to something more. Departs canon after Child's Play. Warning: Mention of rape and torture. 

Cold Tiles and Warm Air by @factoffictionwriter [M, 3,658 word count, complete]

But staring? It just wasn't her thing. Touching, kissing, stroking… these were all forms of intimacy she could get behind. But leave her to look - just look, not touch - and she typically grew antsy. Or worse: Bored. Tag 11x02. Bitter Sweet.

Family Second by @factoffictionwriter [M, 26,865 word count, complete]

Alternate ep 13x24. The team gets ahold of Ziva before the mortar attack. Follows along with the storyline of the episode for the most part. A true to character AU of sorts.

holding on (and letting go) by @thewintersoldierdisaster [G, 1,322 word count, complete]

Tony and Ziva are reunited again. Set in S17.

Cool Hand Luke by @thewintersoldierdisaster [G, 1,959 word count, complete]

Tony and Tali spend Ziva's birthday in Paris.

Of Plenty by Strawberry Shortcake123 [M, 28,748 word count, complete]

While celebrating their reinstatement as NCIS agents, Tony and Ziva drink too much and go too far. They decide to put the night behind them- until Ziva finds out that she is pregnant.

Treasure Map by @belletylers [T, 11,285 word count, complete]

"Tony had always considered himself fairly good at finding people who were missing. Especially if those people were Ziva." Tony and Tali go to Paris, searching for Ziva after the events of 13x24.

A Helping Hand by @loudlooks [M, 16,928 word count, complete]

Ziva comes up with a creative solution to help Tony, who refuses to take painkillers after injuring both arms.

Something I Left Behind by @aksannyi [E, 5,894 word count, complete]

This is a missing scene from Past, Present, Future, which explains how Tali came to be. Yes, the M rating is there for a reason. This is angsty, given the nature of the episode it comes from.

Under Pressure by @aksannyi [E, 4,338 word count, complete]

She didn't need to kiss him then, but she did, and suddenly they were no longer pretending. Tony and Ziva learn a lot about each other while they're under cover. Tag to 3x08, Under Covers. 

Treading Water by Mechabeira [T, 191,744 word count, complete]

"You can still swim, can't you? You're going to have to tow her in, DiNozzo. We aren't going to let her just tread water."

There are so so so many more great authors out there, so I’ll list their FF.net and AO3 pages (the ones I can remember): Zays, jae-vous, brightblue, Anonymous033, Strawberry Shortcake123, AliyahNCIS, quotelation (@quotelation), McGeekle (@mcgeekle), LittleSammy, pro-bee (@pro-bee), xoxonessie (@xoxonessie), alacarton (@ahtlolevad-fics) and MANY OTHERS THAT I SURELY FORGOT (for that I’m sorry, but I tried my best).

Please feel free to fangirl with me about all those stories (haha I’m always opened to that) and to click in their accounts to see more great ones!! I just linked some I like most, but there are authors who wrote about 20-50 tiva stories with the same quality I linked it here. Be sure to check their profiles out!!

ALSO IMPORTANT TIP

From someone who loves tiva fanfiction, the works about it are scattered throughout more than a decade, so there’s A LOT (a lot, no joke) of good fanfiction both on FF.net and AO3. Some of the authors are still active on Tumblr, and if you like someone’s type of posts, try to ask them if they wrote something (what I love here is that most people active on the fandom eventually turn into writers) or even if they haven’t I’m sure they would recommend some great ones!

I hope I could help you somehow, and I’m sure Anthony DiNozzo and Ziva David will still have a lot of new authors to cherish them, their story is not over yet. 

thanks, anon!! xoxo Sofia

[sugas-sweetheart]

I hear a symphony by Cody fry makes me feel so soft and fOR WHAT.

Yes I’ve played it one repeat for portions of today and yesterday. No I’m not okay /j

IM FINE I JUST RLLY LIKE THIS SONG AND pls I feel sorry for anyone who can see my spotify bc I was playing the cure a minute ago and now I’m looping this soft song like??? Huh 😭

[pvarker]

aaaa omg, thank you so so much for such kind words and high praise. i wrote this based off sleeping problems that i faced, but the idea that you could relate and find comfort in this brings me so much joy. you have no idea how happy it makes me that you could connect with this aaa. and thank you so so much for reading and leaving me this feedback, it's honestly made my day!

voice letters

masterlist • about me • general guidelines

summary: you've always had trouble sleeping, until peter parker was in your life.

warnings: panic attack (lowkey), anxiety descriptions!

tags: gn!reader, established relationship, fluff, universal!peter, peter parker is a sweetheart, literally tooth rotting fluff honestly.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: this is written based on quite literally the most romantic gesture anyone has done for me, and i already know peter is the type of boy to do this for someone he loves. i still have other wips [speaking off, im gonna make a wip list so at least yall can be updated]. let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! this is kinda badly written and shorter than usual but i hope you enjoy it!

sleep was never your best friend. you don’t know when it really started, but for as long as you can remember, you’ve never really had a good night’s rest.

every night, as your head hit the pillow, your mind would be as active as ever. and slowly, as the silence of your bedroom crept in, your thoughts would only grow louder. soon those would leak out of your mind, and crawl into your lungs and heart, like all the noise was submerging you into a deep ocean.

the longer the silence, the deeper you were pushed under, the pressure growing in your lungs. each time you took a breath, it was as if you couldn’t breathe deep enough. like the air you were breathing wasn’t actually going into your lungs.

so you would lay there in your bed, the darkness enveloping you as you tried to take deeper breaths, almost like you were trying to fill your lungs as much as you can. the feeling only grew into the night, your body and mind over exerting itself as your anxiety grew.

soon enough, you’d be asleep from the exhaustion. and you’d wake up, your limbs grown heavy from the lack of sleep as you dragged yourself up to get up for the day.

this went on for years, until you discovered the magical world of podcasts. it was a small tip you’d come by on one of those anxiety tip blogs, the ones with colorful graphics that you’d followed in an attempt to conquer, or at least control, the anxiety you dealt with.

it was odd the first time you set it up, a small speaker connected to your phone as you got ready for bed. you felt guilty, almost ashamed that you needed something like this to do something as basic as sleep, but at this point all your exhaustion and nerves overcame the guilt.

it was an odd change, filling the silence with just some voices but somehow it helped. your mind was so focused on taking in the story, their voices, that you drifted off into a deep sleep. and for the first time, you slept without any interruptions.

you started with history podcasts, ones that talked about niche stories and hidden tales that no one knew about. then slowly it became d&d, or theatrical shows. anything that provided you with a story to take your mind away from your thoughts long enough to sleep. you always had them on a timer too.

this was all until you started dating peter parker. he was your best friend since childhood, and every memory you can conjure up has him hidden in the background. he knew every detail of your life, mostly because he was the one person you could never keep a secret from.

but this was one secret he never knew about. that was until one stormy night, when you were over sleeping over at his apartment. aunt may was insistent that you not drive in the rain, and reluctantly, you agreed to stay. and it was soon settled that you’d just sleep with peter in his room ("with the door open, peter” may reminded her obviously embarrassed nephew.)

so that’s how you found yourself, cuddled into peter’s arms, wearing one of his nerdy math shirts. your body was as relaxed as ever, as the warmth of his body bled into yours, his arms firm and reassuring around you, yet your mind was overactive. the familiar anxiety crept in, and for a moment, you were frozen.

it had been a long time since you felt like this, the same paralyzing feeling taking over your body. it’d been a very long time since you’d slept without the soothing podcasts or at the very least a video playing in the background, and you’d become almost dependant on it.

“pete. do you think... could you talk to me?” you asked him, shifting your face to meet his sleepy eyes.

“you want me to talk to you? don’t you want to sleep?” he asked you, his voice low from sleep and exhaustion

“it’s okay if you can’t, i just... struggle to sleep sometimes,” you told him, suddenly embarrassed of your request, “i just need you to tell me a story, it can be anything,”

he fully looks at your now, his chocolate eyes tracing your face before nodding. you closed your eyes, as his voice started telling you about his day. and eventually, you drifted off into a sleep, his voice echoing in the back of your mind, warm in his embrace.

from then on, he was always there for you, replacing the podcasts with nightly calls to listen to him talk about his day, the weird things he saw in his patrols, the cool people he’s met as spiderman.

the boy would go as far as to swing to your house at times, still in his spidey suit as he climbed through your window, on especially hard nights. he’d climb into bed with you, holding you in his arms as he talked, stroking your hair back and drawing patterns on your skin.

it was the best thing about peter. the fact that he never asked, or pushed you to share why you needed this. he never made you feel embarrassed or shy about it, but instead took into stride, as if this was just a part of his daily routine.

and for him? it was just more time with you. more time to memorize your face, the way you fit in his arms, the softness of your skin, the way you’d breathe.

time moved fast, and before you realized, it was already your three year anniversary. it was a bright december afternoon as you made your way to the local coffeehouse. it was yours and peter’s first official date spot, and it’s the place you two always came back to, every single year for your anniversary.

peter was already seated in a corner table, with two drinks placed on the table. the boy was fidgeting more than ever, one leg vibrating with the energy he always carried inside him, when he spotted you.

you made your way to him quickly, the grin and joy almost bursting out of you as he enveloped you in a crushing hug.

“happy anniversary, darling,” you grinned as his hands cupped your face and pulled you into a soft kiss, before allowing you to take a seat. peter cleared his throat slowly before pushing forward a letter across the table.

“what’s this?” you asked, confusion filled your face, as you grabbed the letter off the table, turning it around in your hands, and inspecting every part. his familiar messy scrawl had written your name on the cover, surrounded by small stickers.

“this is uh, part one of my gift for you. um so, part two of my gift isn’t exactly... something physical,” he told you, his hands going to mess his hair, a nervous habit that only made him cuter. “check your phone. oh um and you’ll probably need headphones for this”

your phone lit up with a notification, and you took it in hand as you searched your pocket for your headphones. plugging it in, you clicked on the notification, which took you to a playlist. clicking on the very first audio file, peter’s very familiar voice flooded your ears.

“helloo. happy anniversary darling! sooo this is my gift to you, so you can sleep to my voice whenever you need to. i really hope you like this, because this playlist will be constantly updated with new episodes, maybe like 20 to 30 minutes of me just sharing stories and whatever i feel. i love you so much and i’m so glad you’re in my life, and i just want to make sure you can listen to my voice whenever you need it most.”

your mouth was open, in shock as you listened to peter talk in the file, looking at the nervous boy in front of you. he made you a podcast. a podcast so you can sleep well, so you can listen to his voice. the observant, kind boy in front of you, made you a podcast.

you ripped off the headphones, your voice shaky as you looked at him, your eyes slowly flooding with unshed tears. “peter, i-”

“do you like it? it’s okay if you don’t, but i know that you call me so you can sleep so i just wanted to make sure you can still have my voice to sleep to rather than having to wait for me after my patrols and-”

you cut him off, launching yourself at him to gather him into a kiss. it was rushed and imperfect, but it was soft, filled with everything you felt for him. you pulled away softly, your eyes searching his face.

“i love it, pete, this is... this is the best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given to me,” you assured him, your adoration and love for him flooding your voice. “i’m so lucky to have you.” your voice was almost raw, in surprise and just pure love for him.

“of course. anything for you, darling.” he grinned in reply, his eyes lighting up as you continued your date.

later that night, as you settled into your bed, you scrolled to his podcast, allowing the feeling and cadence of his voice to wash over you, as you were drawn into a blissful sleep.

[sparrowmoth]

A, T and Z for the ask game? <3

@moorsgrimhilde Thank youuu, my dear! 💖

A - Ships that you currently like a lot.

I’m completely, utterly, madly obsessed with Matchablossom. 👉👈 I’m planning to write fic for them at some point, which is the highest honour I can bestow upon an OTP djakgjsdkgkd.

I’ve also got lots of TWST dynamics, romantic and platonic, on the brain. Jamikali and Malvil my beloveds, plus ultimate besties Jamivil, etc, etc. I want to write (more) fic for these ones, but my muse has been shy so idk when it’ll happen.

And ofc ofc I’m STILL and forever into Jaylos, but after thinking about nothing but them for two years straight, I’ve been letting them cool off a bit so I can enjoy them fresh, you know?

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

I wouldn’t seriously die defending any of my headcanons since I find it… off-putting when other people unironically treat theirs as Secret Canon, so to speak, but that said, hmmmm, here's some faves...

Descendants: Carlos and Mal are nonbinary. Carlos and Evie were best friends growing up (out of my way, book canon djakgjksdg). Jay has dyscalculia. Jafar murdered Jay’s mother (I wrote a short fic about that particular headcanon). Some years after getting to know him, Roger and Anita decide to surprise Carlos with one of their dalmatian puppies as the ultimate show of trust and belief that he’s not like his mother (I wrote that one into a short fic, too). Beast is cheating on Belle with Fairy Godmother and everyone knows it.

TWST: Jamil has a pet tiger (remember how we talked about this, yeah, it lives in my head rent free). Kalim is like a Disney princess with animals. He opens his window and wild birds just come and perch there and sing to him and climb all over his arms and shoulders and he has one-sided conversations with them because he’s actually really desperately lonely and always yearning for no-strings-attached connection.

Vil has a cat (you: “named PRADA” and ur so right for it), which Malleus gave him. The cat is white and fluffy and has the soul of a diva idk ajskgjsdkgd. Malleus plays piano and violin well enough to perform at a concert hall, but he never brags about it or plays for anyone outside his family and, later, Vil, so it’s a little known fact about him. Vil plays guitar (as a hobby, so he’s pretty low-key about it; he likes to relax by sitting alone in his room in comfy clothes and composing songs on the acoustic guitar he inherited from his mother when she passed, which is another headcanon I have about Vil) and flute (professionally trained for a role, but it’s not his passion).

SK8: Kaoru doesn’t use labels, but if he did, he might choose nonbinary or genderqueer. Kaoru and Kojiro are both cat people. Kojiro likes to sing while he cooks and has a really beautiful voice, but he doesn’t seem to realize it; Kaoru thinks about complimenting him on it sometimes in moments of weakness. Kojiro’s hair is naturally curly, but he straightened it for a while in high school. Kaoru and Kojiro end up adopting Miya at some point. How it happens matters less than that they do.

Magi: Ja’far is ace and Sinbad is aro. That’s the most important headcanon I have for them. 💕

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

FREE SPACE. NICE. I’m going to use this free space to ramble about how much I love you, Sofia. I know we’ve talked about this before and even just the other day, but I’m so happy the Descendants fandom brought us together and I’m even happier that you got me into TWST (and SK8!! You’re responsible for that too djsakgjksdg). I just love our conversations, they’re so much fun and you always vibe on my wavelength. You’re so sweet and so passionate and upbeat and funny (I’m still thinking about that “with your tears?” line DAJSKGJSDKG… I stg I’m going to incorporate that into the fic when I write it) AND JUST I think you’re really neat and I am a fan. Of you. djsakgjkdsg. 💖💖

A - Z Fandom Asks

[quillsink]

Heyo, I'm the anon that's been asking about the amrev stuff and would like to be a part of the fandom because amrev rocks and is awesome!! Ngl, I'm going to be one the ones that does like the Hamilton musical, haha, but of course it has it's inaccuracies and stuff! I just like musicals a lot so finding one that combined history right when I was taking ap us history was amazing! I'll definitely have to check out some of those other things you mentioned since I haven't heard of them before!!

Anyways, sorry for rambling on a lot I just haven't had this much fun talking to someone in a long time, haha. But yes, I'd love to be introduced to some of the people and the fandom itself!

My name is Jazz and my pronouns are he/they/xe! Thanks so much!! You're the best!!

p.s. thanks for calling me dude, it felt really nice even though dude is gender neutral (in my opinion) cause just yes!

Ayyy, heyo Jazz! I had a suspicion it was you after you kept showing up in my notes lmao (that spam made me smile aahhh)

Ofc, the musical’s really cool, it’s just not for me lmao. The fandom is pretty chill unless you try to defend the historical figures for the shit they did, but yeah, as my friend said, the music is a bop, the timeline is not lmao

I actually have some master lists of amrev media, I’ll rb them and @ you!

GUYS GUYS MEET JAZZ HE’S FUCKING AWESOME

Jazz meet everyone :))

@critical-endangered  Bea, she/her, my honorary big sister who’s obsessed with Jacky Custis (Washington’s step son) and Star Wars

@in-some-future-time Elle/Jo, any/all pronouns except it/it’s, my wonderful QPP who writes great lams fics and posts about Hamliza and neuro divergent Hamilton

@johnlaurensstuff Alex, he/him, my fellow laurloch shipper (John Laurens x Francis Kinloch) who loves amrev and DEH (the novel)

@foryourownbosom Del/Delfi, they/them, draws a lot of cool art of the Laurens siblings and is great at research

@nonstopfangirl Sofia, she/her, makes fun of Hamilton and draws cool ass memes

Welcome to the fandom, Jazz! We’re glad to have you here my dude <3

(akdjfk ofc my guy!)

[laurenairay]

Make Me a Fool - T. Barrie

Summary: Sofia is tired of going on dates with the wrong guys - when a meet-cute with Tyson turns into only friendship, will she ever have anything more than that?

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, pining, friends to lovers, some bad language

A/N: this is my first OC in a published fic! (I have another in a WIP). Thank you to @danglesnipecelly​​ and @itsbadgerbadgermushroom​ for their encouragement in trying this 😘 and also tagging @texanstarslove​ and @broadstbroskis​ for just genuinely being sweethearts 💚

~~~

The Dating World hadn’t exactly been an easy ride for Sofia. No matter where she met guys – whether it was through dating apps, blind date recommendations from mutual friends, or even that cute guy she met at the coffee shop – every single one had turned out to be no good. They were all wrong for so many reasons, whether that was a playboy with multiple girls on the go, a guy who was only actually after sex, someone that was so self-centered that she barely got a word in edgeways, or there was simply no spark.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t want these dates to work – Sofia loved love. Her parents had met in high school and had been together happily in love ever since. Sure, she knew that was rare, but to her they were absolute couple goals. All she wanted was to love someone and be loved in return, just like her parents loved each other. Was that really so much to ask for?

Sofia certainly didn’t think so.

Another Friday night alone rolled around, and the only thing Sofia wanted was to get a pint of ice-cream and watch some sappy movies. Maybe while giving herself a pedicure and wearing a facemask. Who didn’t love a pamper night? So with her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, blue eyes scrubbed free of make-up, and wearing her glasses instead of her usual contact lenses, Sofia headed out for her ice-cream. There were a fair few people in the grocery store when she arrived including one guy by the ice-cream freezer. Huh, a very cute guy. Luckily she was still wearing a bra. No, not the time. She was here for ice-cream, and ice-cream only.

As she walked up to him though, Sofia noticed that he seemed to be desperately looking for something – a specific flavour? – but with no luck. Yep, there was the desperate whimper of frustration. Time to step in; this was her territory.

“You okay there bud?” Sofia asked, frowning.

The guy flinched slightly but turned to face her with a frustrated expression. Oh wow he was beautiful – square jaw, gorgeous brown eyes, big broad shoulders, thick arms…and those curls! Wait, no, focus.

“No, I’m not. I just moved here for work and everything is shit and I just wanted my favourite flavour ice-cream but they don’t have it and I just…ugh!”

The guy trailed off, running a shaky hand through his messy curls. Oh wow, she hadn’t been expecting that. Nevertheless…

“Sorry, you didn’t need to know all that. It’s just been a really bad week,” he grimaced, trying to force a smile.

Poor guy. Well, she could definitely relate to comfort eating after a bad week, that was for sure. So Sofia smiled kindly back, shaking her head. “Please don’t apologise! We all have shitty weeks,”

The guy laughed, but it still sounded a little broken. Time to step up her game.

“Maybe I can suggest an alternative? I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a regular at this particular freezer,” she said, wearing a hopeful smile.

This seemed to crack a genuine smile. “Sure, be my guest,” he nodded, “I’m Tyson, by the way,”

Well it was a start. “I’m Sofia. Nice to meet you!”

Tyson smiled shyly at her, seeming a little hesitant.

Sofia dramatically rolled her head from side to side, stretched her arms over her head and bounced a few times on the spot as if warming up, earning an outright giggle from Tyson, making her grin at him. Much better.

“Okay, cherry vanilla sweetheart is okay, banana toffee treat is a weirdly interesting combination, I’m a huge fan of the fudgy chocolate brownie, and the caramel swirl is to die for. But my absolute favourite is the peanut butter chocolate heaven. If you like Reese’s chocolate, then you’ll love this one,” she listed, pointing to the different shelves.

What? Sofia took her ice-cream seriously – there was nothing wrong with that.

Tyson looked a little stunned, but that quickly turned into a brilliant smile, making Sofia’s breath catch in her throat. “The peanut butter chocolate one sounds pretty good actually. Exactly what I need,”

“Happy to help,” Sofia shrugged, trying to play it cool as she passed him a carton of it, as well as grabbing one for herself.

“Hey, um….”

Sofia looked up at Tyson as he trailed off, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. What?

“This is a kinda weird to ask, and I swear I’m not a creep, but I’m new in town and I really don’t know the best places in town to get ice-cream from so-”

“Would you like my number?” Sofia asked, trying not to giggle at his rambling, “for ice-cream related emergencies?”

Tyson’s smile seemed to dim slightly, but he nodded so Sofia figured that was what he wanted to ask her. That was what he wanted, right?

“Yeah, exactly,” he murmured, “I could really use a friend,”

Sofia hoped her smile hadn’t dimmed as well when she passed her phone to him. Friend. Why did that feel weird?

When he passed her phone back with his saved number in it, Sofia sent him a quick message of ‘Hey, it’s Sofia :)’, earning a smile from him as his phone lit up.

“I’ll see you again soon, ice-cream friend?” he asked, voice full of hope.

She couldn’t help but to giggle, nodding her agreement. “Yeah I’d like that Tyson,” she said, smiling at him.

If he wanted friendship, then she could and would give it to him.

*

The friendship that blossomed between Tyson and Sofia was genuine and sweet. He’d texted her the next morning, just a picture of the empty carton and a thumbs up – and she laughed as she sent back the exact same thing. And from there they were texting pretty much every day, Sofia getting to know exactly how sweet and kind and caring Tyson was. They started hanging out in person too, coffee runs and lunches and late-night dinners, to the point where they had a standing movie night (with ice-cream!) every Friday when Tyson didn’t have a game – and hadn’t that been a surprise, finding out that he played in the NHL. He had admitted that ice-cream wasn’t even remotely in his diet plan at all, but Sofia obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone – and besides, Tyson deserved a cheat treat every now and again, especially with how hard he was working and playing.

Over less than two months, Tyson quickly became one of her best friends. He was just so easy to talk to, and he knew exactly how to make her smile when she was having a bad day – not to mention how amazing his hugs were. And she knew that she was a huge support for him in his new city. She always answered the phone while he was on roadtrips so he could hear a friendly voice, never judging for anything. Sofia knew that she gave him a break from the intensity of his hockey life. She just…liked him, okay? He was such a good person, and really quite her ideal guy – but he only wanted and needed a friend, so that’s what she was determined to be for him. He deserved that much at least.

A few more months passed into their friendship, and it was a week into the New Year where their Fridays lined up perfectly, so Sofia was on her way over to Tyson’s with a couple of bottles of decent white wine. He was supplying the ice-cream this time, but damn it she needed the wine too. Yesterday night she went on her third date with a cute guy she’d been really hopeful about, but, well…

“He said what?” Tyson gasped, his jaw dropping.

“That he wanted to fool around before we went any further, and if I didn’t want to then he couldn’t see a future for us,” Sofia groaned.

“Please tell me you kicked his ass to the curb,” Tyson scowled.

“You’re damn right I did,” Sofia grumbled, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Tyson took a big gulp of wine in solidarity, staring at her with his big brown eyes wide with disbelief. But then Sofia couldn’t help but sigh.

“Why do my dates always end up going so badly? Is there something wrong with me?” Sofia asked, pouting.

Was there? Had she been the problem all along? But Tyson immediately shook his head.

“No, absolutely not,” he said firmly

As much as the conviction in his words made her heart skip a beat, she sighed again.

“Tyson…”

“Nope, I won’t have you talk about yourself like that,” Tyson interrupted, frowning at her, “These guys you try to date are the problem, not you. Ethan…Easton…Evan…whatever his name was, you are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, funny, smart, caring and beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you in their life,”

Any guy, huh? Sofia felt tears spring to her blue eyes, so she quickly wiped them away, but not before Tyson saw.

“Hey, c’mere,” he murmured, beckoning her towards him.

Sofia shuffled down the sofa willingly, curling into Tyson’s side and slumping her head against his chest. She immediately relaxed as his arm wound around her waist.

“It’s okay to be a romantic, yeah? It’s not a bad thing that you want to genuinely fall in love. I know I do,” Tyson said softly.

Of course he wanted to fall in love as well. Of course.

“Thanks Tys. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” Sofia sighed, squeezing his hand where it rested on her hip.

Tyson just hummed his agreement, pressing a kiss to her wavy hair, making Sofia smile sadly. Of all the guys she couldn’t have, why did Tyson have to be one of them? She couldn’t see Tyson’s sad smile in return though.

“Ice-cream and 10 Things I Hate About You?” Tyson asked.

“Yes please, I need Heath Ledger in my life,” Sofia nodded, sniffing as she sat upright.

Tyson laughed, wiping her cheeks dry of the tears she didn’t know had fallen. “There, still beautiful,”

Why did he have to make things so difficult?

*

Love was a funny thing. It could be fleeting, passing like a ship in the night, or even all-consuming, like a wildfire with no hope until it burned out on its own. The more time that Sofia spent with Tyson, the harder she fell for him, and the harder it was for her to pretend that she was okay just being friends. No matter how many first dates she went on, how many guys she hoped to move on from him with, nothing worked. The very first moment they’d met when she’d gone out of her way to make him laugh as she recommended him ice-cream, she knew she was done for. But how could she tell him how she felt? He’d literally asked for her phone number to be his new friend in a new city, nothing more. And there was no way she was ruining the incredible friendship that they’d built between them, not a chance. There was no way she could feel anything but empty if he was no longer in her life, and she couldn’t risk losing him. She wouldn’t.

But she didn’t know what to do.

What Sofia didn’t know was that Tyson felt exactly the same. The moment he’d met her, he was gone. She was beautiful – that much was obvious as soon as he saw her – sparkling blue eyes, that amazing wavy brown hair he always wanted to run his fingers through, and the warmest most genuine smile he’d ever seen. But it was her heart that dazzled him on that first night – instead of walking away from his crazy mid-breakdown frantic self, she’d offered to help him and made him laugh. She’d gone above and beyond to make him feel better, and he’d never met anyone like her before. Like an idiot though, he’d completely messed up asking her out on a date, and instead she’d given him her number to be his friend in this new city. Only his friend.

Hell, he knew she wasn’t interested in him romantically – she went on enough dates to show him that he didn’t stand a chance. How could he? He knew he was nowhere near good enough for her as a life partner. Even though he’d told Nate (wonderful oblivious emotionally-useless Nate) how hopeless he felt in their weekly phonecalls, Nate kept telling him to take a chance on Sofia, that Sofia would feel the same as him, Tyson knew Nate was wrong. But there was no way he could give up having her in his life, no matter how much it hurt him to be second to those stupid guys she dated. So he did his best to be the absolute best friend she could possibly need, no matter how hard it was.

Tyson only wished she could see him as more.

*

“Oh god, why did I drink so much?” Sofia groaned.

Tyson giggled as she slumped against his front door as he closed it, just about able to kick her heels off her feet. “I told you not to do shots with the Swedes, but you didn’t listen,”

Sofia whined, not wanting to admit that he was right. Even though he was right. Tyson smiled fondly at her, shaking his head as he kicked off his own shoes.

“I just wanted your teammates to like me,” she grumbled.

“They already do, sweetheart. They love you as much as I do,”

Tyson froze at the words that spilled from his lips, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that spread across her lips.

“Sweetheart?” Sofia grinned.

Tyson let out a shaky breath. The deep blush that spread across his face made Sofia laugh, a little giddiness rushing through her body along with the alcohol.

“Let’s get you some water,” Tyson grumbled.

Sofia just laughed again, skipping along behind him to the kitchen. It had been a last minute invite to drinks with his team this Friday night (she’d initially hoped to save the Friday night for a second date with a guy from Hinge that she had been hopeful about, but their first date on Tuesday had been so dry and dull), but Sofia had still had a brilliant time. She knew that Tyson knew that she had been disappointed with her date this week, so it had been really sweet of him to invite her out to cheer her up. And he’d even called her sweetheart! A girl could dream, right? Tyson kept his back to her as he reached for a glass in the cupboard and pulled out a jug of filtered water from the fridge, but Sofia just hopped up on the island counter to watch him, happily swinging her legs.

She’d had a great evening with one of her favourite people and now she was still hanging out with him – what more could she want?

“Here, why don’t you drink this while I get you something comfy to wear?” Tyson murmured, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pressed the cold glass of water into her hand.

“Thanks Tys,” she said, smiling, “you’re the best,”

He smiled shyly at her, still blushing slightly, before he left the room to get her some clothes. Sofia sipped on the water as she waited to Tyson to return, still swinging her legs with a smile on her face. She knew she probably shouldn’t have had so many shots tonight, but it had just been such a fun atmosphere. Sofia definitely wasn’t the only one drinking that much (at least, she wasn’t the guy that had to be carried out to an uber) – and she knew that Tyson was watching out for her, so she knew she was able to relax and just have fun. He made her feel safe, that she could just be herself without worrying, and tonight at the bar she’d had an amazing time.

The hangover tomorrow would be worth it.

“Okay, some comfy shorts and a tshirt for you,” Tyson announced, walking back in the room, dressed in sweatpants and an old tshirt now instead of his nice shirt and jeans.

“Ooh gimme,” Sofia grinned, hopping off the counter.

Tyson smiled fondly at her, taking the glass from her hand in exchange for the clothing. Then she frowned at him, earning a frown back. “What’s wrong?”

“The zipper on this dress always sticks and all the vodka will not help – will you unzip me?” Sofia asked, eyes wide and pleading.

Something inside her was telling her that this was a stupid idea, such a stupid thing to ask, but the remaining alcohol coursing through her veins drowned that out. But when Tyson just stood there in silence, his mouth slightly open and his eyes glazed, she felt a niggle of doubt start to creep in. What was she doing, asking him to unzip her? Stupid.

“Forget it, I’ll just stay in this dress,” Sofia mumbled.

“No!”

Sofia flinched at his shout, making him wince.

“I’ll unzip you, it’s fine,” Tyson insisted, “turn around?”

Sofia nodded, biting her lip as soon as her back was facing him, swallowing heavily as she heard him take a shaky breath. She jumped slightly as his fingers brushed the top of her spine, unable to stop her heart beating faster as he slowly unzipped her dress. What had she been thinking, asking him to unzip her? Now she’d never forget the feeling of him standing so close, the touch of his fingers on the small of her back, no matter that she was still a little tipsy.

“There, all done,” Tyson said, voice a little shaky, “I’ll go put a movie on, yeah?”

Sofia just nodded, watching in silence as he walked away. Damn it. She took a deep breath, letting her dress drop to the floor with her eyes briefly closed, before shaking herself out of it and quickly unhooking her bra, dropping that to the floor too. Once she’d pulled on his clothes over her panties (even his laundry detergent smelled amazing), she dumped her discarded clothes onto the kitchen counter and headed into the living room to join him. He’d turned off all but one floor lamp, leaving the room with a low glow, nice and cosy. Tyson looked up at her with a smile, settling her nerves. Whatever, it had just been a weird moment, that was all.

“Pretty Woman?” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” she nodded.

He lifted his arm, making her grin and sit down, snuggling into his side, kicking her legs up next to his on the ottoman.

“Comfy?” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah, press play,” she nodded, settling into his hold.

~

It can’t have been more than 30 minutes before Sofia felt a little heavier in his arms, so Tyson looked down – sure enough, Sofia was fast asleep in his arms. He swallowed heavily as he watched her peaceful face, mind flashing back to the kitchen moment earlier. Unzipping her dress had felt so intimate, especially when his fingers touched the small of her back, and now she was lying in his arms? How was his heart supposed to cope with this? This was everything he wanted…and it wasn’t real. It wasn’t going to last. But…surely it wasn’t a bad thing if he just let her continue sleeping? She looked so sweet, so cosy, and he didn’t want to disturb her. So instead, he just switched the movie off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table before snagging the blanket off the back of the sofa and gently throwing it over the two of them. Their legs were already kicked up on the ottoman after all; he could sleep like this. Luckily she’d already been wearing her glasses tonight rather than her contacts, so at least he didn’t have to worry about waking her up to take them out – he just gently pulled them off her face and tossed them to the other end of the sofa. No point in waking her up. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, relaxing back into the cushions, and closed his eyes.

He could pretend for one night, right?

~

Sofia blinked her eyes open slowly, groaning as she (blurrily) saw that it was 5am from the clock on the wall. They hadn’t even turned off the floor lamp…but the tv was off and there was a blanket over her. Over them. And Tyson had even taken off her glasses for her. Oh wow. She’d fallen asleep on Tyson, and he hadn’t moved her? She lifted her head from Tyson’s chest, looking at his sleeping face with a soft smile. He was so handsome, wasn’t he? Her heart ached a little at the gentle expression on his face, soft and kind even in sleep. Wow. And it was so nice being held in his arms, the two of them having shifted a little to curl around each other in their sleep, her arm over his waist with both of his around her. She could stay like this for a little longer, right? He was so warm, and it just felt so right…

She could pretend for one night, right?

*

The next few weeks following the sofa-sleepover weren’t quite as smooth and easy as Sofia had hoped. It’s not that it was particularly awkward, oh no, and there definitely wasn’t a bad vibe between her and Tyson…it was just different. Something felt different between them – she didn’t know if it was because she knew what it felt like to sleep wrapped up in his arms, or the fact that he had demonstrated (even more so than usual) just how kind and caring he truly was, but it was something. And she knew Tyson was the same, because every now and again he would get a strange expression on his face before he shook it off and carried on as usual with a smile.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, and it was frustrating as hell. It was almost like being in limbo, that weird stage that wasn’t quite friendship anymore, but definitely wasn’t anything more. And Sofia was getting so tired of it. She knew she was going to have to tell him sooner rather than later – things were too off for her not to. Because at this rate, she was just going to make herself devastatingly miserable, and she had more respect for herself than that. She wasn’t a fool, and she wasn’t going to start acting like one now.

It was going to have to be all or nothing. But damn if that wasn’t the scariest thing Sofia had ever felt. And she had put it off every time she’d seen him since that night, unable to speak the words that would change everything. It was just so hard, faced with the potential of losing him for good. She hadn’t even been on any dates at all over the past few weeks, unable to even think of anyone that wasn’t him, which was so outside of her usual self that even her colleagues had noticed.

Speaking of…

Tonight she was out at a bar with some of her friends from work. It wasn’t a big weekend booze-up, just a casual couple of drinks after work mid-week – Sofia was only planning on having a couple of glasses of wine as she was heading out to dinner with Tyson afterwards. All she knew was that he had a phone call scheduled for something to do with his work, so they’d decided to meet at the bar first before heading out for food. Sofia was all glammed up though, contact lenses in and blue eyes surrounded by a subtle smoky-eye, with a cute new little black lace dress hugging her curves. She’d gotten ready in the bathrooms at work with a couple of the other ladies she worked with (they were staying out for drinks after she left) so at least she wasn’t the only one. She felt beautiful, the confidence shining through in her smile, and she knew she’d turned heads as she walked into the bar with her colleagues.

Maybe tonight was the night. Hah. Maybe not.

“And another glass of Sauvignon Blanc for you, Sofia!”

Sofia smiled as her friend passed her the new wine glass, nodding her head in thanks. She needed to stay out of her thoughts, wary of being lost in them, especially as she was seeing Tyson tonight. Clear, focused and confident. That’s what she needed to be. Not pining and mopey. No, that wasn’t good at all.

“Oh, hey, isn’t that your boy?”

Your boy. Hah. If only.

She spun around to where her colleague was indicating, unable to stop the smile that spread over her lips as she saw Tyson. Waving to get his attention, Tyson did a dorky wave back before he walked over.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late. You look amazing,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

She blushed slightly as she hugged him back, squeezing his waist even with her wine in her hand, before letting go.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet! And it’s really not a problem. I did just get a new glass of wine though,” she said, lifting it in indication.

Tyson laughed, shrugging. “I’ll get myself a beer too then, and we can head out after?”

“Sounds good to me!” she grinned.

Tyson grinned back, walking over to the bar in question. Sofia turned back to her colleagues, several of whom were grinning widely at her, but she just rolled her eyes, shaking her head and earning a few pouts.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” she warned.

A couple of them held up their hands in surrender, making her laugh, but another frowned over at something over Sofia’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should say something,” her friend said, jutting her chin in the direction of the bar.

Sofia turned around again, to see what the hell her friend was talking about, before she froze, her breath catching in her throat. Tyson was at the bar…talking with a pretty blonde woman. That, that didn’t mean anything, right? It wasn’t like they were…oh, there it was, the woman brushed her hand up against Tyson’s arm, giggling at something Tyson said while he smiled down at her. Of course a beautiful woman was flirting with him, and why wouldn’t he flirt back? It wasn’t like he had anything or anyone tying him down. It wasn’t like she had any claim to him herself. It wasn’t like Sofia had ever told him how she felt.

And now she was paying for it. Was she really too late? After all this time? Feeling her smile slip, Sofia turned her back on Tyson, forcing her smile back on her face for her colleagues, who were all just staring at her in pity.

“Please don’t,” she begged, taking a deep breath, “clearly I lost my chance,”

“He’s already walking back over, that was just flirting!” one of the girls insisted.

But Sofia just shook her head, taking a big gulp of wine. She was going to need it. That woman was beautiful, blonde and buxom just like every hockey WAG stereotype. And she was definitely not – so maybe this wake-up call was what she needed. No matter how much it hurt.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, service was slow,” Tyson said, apologising as he slipped back in next to her.

Lie. But it was okay, it wasn’t like she wasn’t aware.

“No worries. Cheers!” Sofia said, raising her glass.

Tyson frowned slightly at the fakeness of her smile, but lifted his pint glass to clink with hers anyway. Sofia just took another big gulp of wine.

After that, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t break herself out of that edge of sadness. The evening was tinged with it now, like an ice grip over her heart. Seeing him flirting with that woman was the kick up the ass that she needed – there was a reason that she and Tyson were just friends.

But even though she tried to keep up a happy façade, she knew that Tyson saw through it, even when they’d left and were eating in the restaurant he wanted to try. He would pause every now and again, a little confused expression on his face, which only broke Sofia’s heart a little more. He knew her so well, but he still didn’t know this. And now she didn’t even know if it was worth saying anything – she looked nothing like the woman he’d been flirting with, so what was the point?

Soon enough, their dinner was over (not that Sofia could say what she’d eaten or what they’d talked about, only that neither of them drank anything alcoholic), and Tyson was driving them home.

Oh, he was driving them to his apartment. Not what she’d expected, but she would roll with it. Nothing they hadn’t done several dozen times before. She could hold herself together a little longer.

“So, the food there was really nice. I’ll have to recommend it to some of the guys,” Tyson said, smiling as he unlocked the door.

“Definitely!” she nodded, shutting the door behind them, “although I’m pretty sure none of them will be going for dessert like we did,”

Tyson made a shushing noise, pressing her finger dramatically to his lips, making her laugh as they walked into the kitchen, sitting down on the stools at his kitchen island. Her laugh trailed off slightly as her heart clenched again, realising how comfortable and how right this felt between them. Why couldn’t this be easy? Why couldn’t things just be easy for her for once?

“Hey, what’s going on?”

She looked over to Tyson as his soft question brought her out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” she asked, forcing a smile onto her lips.

“There,” he frowned, “That. That fake smile, you’ve been doing it all night,”

Ouch.

“Have not,” she muttered.

“Yes, you have! You were fine when I first met you but as soon as I came back with a drink, something had changed. What’s wrong?”

Why did he have to be so perceptive? He was a hockey player for fuck’s sake. Why did he have to notice this now?

“It’s nothing Tys. I’m fine,” she said firmly.

Tyson rolled his eyes, making her purse her lips together. “I can tell when you’re lying, Sof. You’re clearly not fine. What happened? Was it something I said?”

“No, it wasn’t something you said,” she said sharply.

“Then what’s wrong? Because it’s clearly something!” he asked, his voice raising louder in frustration.

Ugh, for fuck’s sake.

“Why can’t you just drop it?” she snapped.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” he shot back.

Sofia groaned, throwing her head back. “Maybe it’s personal and maybe I don’t want to tell you,”

“What did I do to make you not trust me? We tell each other everything and now there’s something you can’t say? Won’t say? What the hell Sof-”

“I like you!”

Oh god.

Oh no.

As Sofia tried to breathe, there was one thing she noticed more than anything. Tyson was frozen, his mouth open in shock – and he hadn’t said a word. Sofia laughed at his silence, a little wet with imminent tears, a lot broken, and shook her head. What was a little more heartbreak, right? It’s not like she could take it back now.

“No, you know what? I’m pretty sure I love you. But that doesn’t matter, right? Because you haven’t said a damn thing a-and I knew this was going to be the reaction you gave me, which is exactly why I haven’t said anything before. So now you know – I have feelings for you, and…and you clearly don’t have feelings for me. I think I’m just going to go,”

She still hesitated though, as she pulled her phone out to order an uber. 2 minutes away. But Tyson opened and closed his mouth, eyes frantic but voice silent. And that was all she needed to know. Uber booked. Goodbye Tyson. Sofia left his apartment with a heavy heart, slamming the door closed behind her, tears prickling at her eyes as she ran to the elevator, but she pressed her lips together in an attempt to control herself. She’d told him how she felt, and he hadn’t returned her feelings. She’d put herself out there, all for nothing. And that’s all there is to it.

She could wait until she was home to cry.

If nothing else, she was lucky enough that by the time she reached the bottom of his apartment building, her uber had arrived, so she hurried in quietly, resting her head against the window. The driver seemed to realise that she wasn’t in the mood to chat and just put on some soft music, making her heart clench even more as her mind replayed the last 10 minutes.

She’d finally told Tyson how she felt.

Tyson hadn’t said anything.

Nothing at all.

And he definitely hadn’t tried to stop her leaving.

What more of an answer did she need?

*

Sofia woke up with a heavy heart, feeling like every part of her body was aching. She felt empty, completely drained, just as she feared she would if...no, when she lost Tyson. There was no going back now. There was nothing else she could do. Her friendship with Tyson was over, and fuck that hurt so much. He was such a big part of her life…what was she supposed to do without him?

She barely managed to shuffle from her bed to her kitchen before she started crying, hands shaky as she made her morning coffee. This was her own fault, she knew that. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. So she just let the tears fall, the pain of her heart breaking flooding through her body. It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes until she finished her coffee, but it felt like hours, her head throbbing and her eyes stinging, her cheeks tacky with tears. She couldn’t carry on like this. She couldn’t waste her day, her life, like this. What was the point in that?

Sofia hated feeling pathetic, feeling weak, especially over a guy (even if that guy was Tyson), so she took a deep breath, wiping her cheeks dry with her fingers. “No more. Suck it up,” she muttered to herself.

Her breath shook as she left her coffee mug in the sink for later, her hands still shaking a little too, but she stood a little taller, trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. Because it had to be okay. It had to. There wasn’t any other option.

But as she went to walk towards the bathroom to take a shower, the door buzzer rang. What the hell?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,”

Holy shit. Oh god. Tyson?!

“What are you doing here?” she asked shakily, her voice cracking.

“Please will you just buzz me up?”

Oh god. Should she? She couldn’t just leave him outside, right? This couldn’t be happening. What the hell was he doing here, after last night?

“Please Sof? We need to talk,”

Well, fuck.

She bit her lip, before pressing the buzzer, allowing the building’s front door to open. She knew she had less than minute before he would climb all the stairs and knock on her front door, so she quickly ran to her bedroom, scrubbing her face with a make-up wipe and running a brush through her hair. That was better than nothing. She whipped off her ratty old pyjamas and quickly pulled on some clean panties, some sweatpants and a baggy sweater, at least making herself look casual rather than like a slob.

Then she heard three knocks on the door. Damn it.

Sofia quickly shoved her glasses on her face, taking one last glance at herself in the mirror before walking as calmly as she could to open the front door. Sure enough, Tyson was standing there, looking the most nervous she’d ever seen him. Well, at least she wasn’t the only one feeling affected.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

She just nodded, letting him walk past her before shutting the door behind him. Sofia bit her bottom lip, wringing her hands together, before she took a deep breath. This was her home. She was in control here.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” she said simply, “what are you doing here?”

Tyson let out a whoosh of breath, running a hand through his messy curls. He looked…well, he looked exhausted, if nothing else. Like he’d barely slept. Much like her. Wow. What was he…

“I came here to apologise, Sofia,” he finally admitted.

“Apologise? For what?” she asked, forcing a smile.

“Stop. Please stop,” Tyson said, his eyes full of sadness as he stared her down, “you know you don’t have to pretend with me,”

Well, fuck.

“What do you want me to say, Tys? I’m trying to patch together a broken heart here,” she said, her smile now wobbly. Damn it. She wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t!

“But I don’t want you to patch up a broken heart!” he blurted.

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, her mouth going dry. What was he saying?

Tyson swallowed heavily, looking down at the ground before looking back at her, his eyes shiny but steady.

“You make me a fool, Sofia,” Tyson murmured, “every time I think I’ve got my head on straight, you spin me around. I always feel like such an idiot around you, always messing up. Just like last night, when I just froze up like a fucking statue instead of telling you how I feel. The thought of you not being in my life, even just overnight, is too much to bear. I can’t be without you,”

What?

He…what?

Tyson saw her hesitation, but didn’t dare stop talking now that he’d started. And Sofia couldn’t find any words to say at all. So Tyson licked his bottom lip nervously, before taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I should never have let you walk out of my front door last night. I should never have let you go without telling you that I love you too,”

Sofia whimpered, hand flying up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes. He loves her too? He…loves her? Tyson bit his bottom lip, stepping forward to rest his hands on her shoulders, desperate for the contact.

“Please tell me you still love me? Even though I acted like a fool? Even though I hurt you?” he said softly.

She immediately nodded, tears finally trickling down her cheeks. “Of course I still love you. These feelings aren’t just going to disappear overnight,”

Tyson smiled, his eyes a little watery too, but he leant down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, making Sofia whimper again before slumping into his arms. He slid his hands from her shoulders to wrap his arms fully around her, her hands rising up his back to clutch at his t-shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” Tyson whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sofia said, her voice muffled into his chest.

“No, it isn’t. You weren’t okay last night and I pushed you and pushed you, and then acted like a complete asshole,” Tyson muttered.

“You weren’t an asshole! I…I was so sad last night, before we left the bar for dinner. It killed me to see you flirting with her, that beautiful blonde woman while you ordered your drink,”

There. There it was.

But Tyson just huffed a laugh.

“That was nothing. She meant nothing. And now you know how I feel every time you went out on a date with one of those stupid guys,” Tyson mused, “you go out on so many dates!”

Sofia blushed slightly, thunking her head down on Tyson’s collarbone, making him laugh.

“I haven’t been out on any dates at all since we fell asleep on the sofa,” she grumbled.

“Yeah,” Tyson said, his voice much more serious now, “I noticed that. And it gave me hope,”

“Hope?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

“Hope that maybe it wasn’t just me that had feelings,” he explained, smiling.

Sofia smiled shyly back at him, before biting her bottom lip. Tyson noticed her hesitation, and unwrapped his arms from her, leaving one hand linked with hers. Sofia blushed slightly at the contact, as silly and simple as it was, making Tyson smile again.

“C’mon,” he urged, tugging her towards him lightly.

She followed Tyson through her own apartment until they reached the sofa in the living room, the two of them sitting down next to each other. Her heart beat a little faster as he turned to face her properly, but she tucked up her legs to face him too, her knees brushing his thighs. This felt different. This felt so different.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hey,” she laughed.

Sofia looked down at where there hands were still joined, Tyson just running his thumb over her knuckles in response. Why were they being so weird about this? No, she needed to know what he wanted. It couldn’t be any worse than last night, that was certain. She could do this.

“So what do you want here, Tys?” she asked softly.

Tyson smiled. She was so much braver than him, twice now. “I want to call you mine, Sofia. And I want you to call me yours,”

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, but her lips spread into a brilliant smile. Yes. That was…that was everything she wanted. And he was just offering it to her on a silver platter? Really? Well, she wasn’t turning this done, no way in hell.

“I think I could get used to calling you my boyfriend,” she said, not hiding an ounce of her happiness.

Boyfriend. Wow.

Tyson’s smile spread into a grin, the giddiness spreading through his face, making her laugh. “I can’t wait to tell Nate that you’re finally my girlfriend,”

Sofia snorted. Of course Nate would come first before his family. “Is there going to be an I-told-you-so in there?” she mused. She wouldn’t put it past Nate to do so.

“Oh yeah he’s never going to let me live this down,” Tyson nodded, “especially with how I treated you last night,”

Hey, no.

“Water under the bridge, Tys. We’re sorted now, right?” she said firmly.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Tyson grinned, giving her hand a squeeze.

He was finally hers. And she was finally his. Fuck that felt so good.

“There is one thing though,” Tyson said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” she said, frowning.

What?

“Can I kiss you?” he asked shyly.

Her frown melted into a smile, earning a smile back. Instead of answering, Sofia leant her head up, Tyson meeting her in the middle to press their lips together in a gentle kiss. Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. She pulled away with her lips tingling, Tyson looking just as dazed as her.

“Kiss me again?” Sofia asked breathlessly.

Tyson grinned.

[somersetmummy]

(A/N): This fic is part three of the continuation of the story taking place following book 1 chapter 11 (after being rescued by Sam from Sofia's closet). I’m sorry this took so long post, I’ve been dealing with some things in real life and unfortunately writing fell to the bottom of the list!

Series/Pairing: The Nanny Affair (M!Sam Dalton x MC Katie Hide)

Original characters - all property of PB: Katie Hide (MC), Sam Dalton, Jenny Blake, Robin Flores

New characters: (present in part 3 but not mentioned by name) Serena-Rose Warren, Tessa Finch, Lucinda Hansen

Rating/Content warning: 15+ (a little bit of lust & desire, a few naughty words but nothing graphic)

Word Count: Around 3000, I lost count!

Summary: While out with her friends, Katie bumps into a familiar face, will the night lead her home to Sam or elsewhere?

- Scroll to the bottom for bonus text messages and group chat -

Part Three

As the newest bar on the New York social scene, Atlas had drawn quite a crowd. Hopeful revellers huddle together in the queue outside teased by the sound of merriment within each time the door opens for one of the guest list elite. Katie tentatively approaches the doorman, politely name dropping her way in, wondering to herself in disbelief how this is in fact her life.

Once inside, the unmistakable energy of Jenny and the gang pulls her towards their table in the middle of the room, a melting pot of silken hair, sequins and stilettos, it's hard not to be captivated by the glamorous group she calls her friends.

As she cautiously makes a beeline for the table Jenny notices her approaching, her face lighting up in recognition of her friend. Looking effortlessly edgy as usual, her short dark hair matches the black silk tank top tucked into a feathered black mini skirt. She eyes Katie and unapologetically wolf whistles in her direction.

With her new found confidence, Katie removes her jacket and saunters over to her friends, inwardly basking in the attention of several male pairs of eyes drinking her in along the way. While skimming through the crowd, a blush spreads delicately across her neck and cheeks as she feels one pair of eyes in particular playing close attention. Before she can take a good look around she's embraced by an overly enthusiastic Jenny, almost knocking the wind out of her.

Grinning sincerely back at Jenny, she then moves to Lucinda, Serena and Tess in turn, hugging them tightly and instantly feeling herself relax more than she has done in months, all memories of the drama of her new life checked at the door.

When she had first moved from England for her grad programme, Katie met Jenny almost immediately. One unsuspecting Sunday morning, having escaped the deafening throbbing of heavy bass coming through the wall she shared with her neighbour, Katie was in need of a quiet space to seek refuge and study. She came across an unimposing coffee shop a few blocks away and was immediately drawn to the homey interior as she gazed through the window. As she stepped in, calm washed over her, it felt like home. Settled with her head in her books, it wasn't long before a tornado of colour, energy and expletives tore its way across the room towards her. Jenny.

Taken aback by the intrusion, Katie sat in dismay as this whirlwind of a person rambled on about needing some kind of cover story for being there as her ex sat at the other end of the room with a decidedly less chaotic redhead in his arms. Katie graciously agreed to play along and let Jenny sit with her. It wasn't long before the ex was forgotten as the two women got caught up in conversation, the more they learned about each other the more they found that despite being complete opposites, they blended effortlessly. From that day on, Jenny had taken Katie under her wing and the rest, as they say, is history.

A few minutes after settling on the tall metal stools at the pristine granite topped table, a bucket of Dom Perignon on ice arrives along with 5 glasses. The group look to one another, perplexed, nobody owning up to the extravagant order.

"With compliments of Mr Dalton..." the bartender explains before turning to head back to the heaving bar.

With only Jenny knowing the truth about her as yet un-named relationship with Sam, the rest of the girls just assume it's part of his flashy, rich guy MO, unaware that there could be any other meaning to this gesture than of him having the means to do something nice for his hard working nanny. Jenny on the other hand is about as subtle as a brick and leans in immediately, at least with the decency to lower her voice to a whisper.

"Someone's wanting to impress your friends...and it's working!!"

As Katie throws daggers at Jenny in response, she can't stop her lips from curling in amusement. Turning to take one of the glasses and join in with their toast to friendship, she feels a warmth radiating from her heart reminding of the incredible man waiting for her at home.

After a couple of hours of conversation and countless cocktails, the friends make their way down the stairs to the packed club in the basement, the chic modern décor highlighted by atmospheric blue lighting illuminating the room.

As she slips through the throngs of people to the middle of the dance floor Katie once again feels like someone is watching but can't pinpoint where they might be in the crowd, instead shrugging it off and throwing herself into dancing with the girls.

Unbeknown to her, the pair of dazzling green eyes which she felt boring into her belong to a very familiar face, still watching with a bemused smile as she dances sultrily to the rhythm of the music.

Completely entranced and thoroughly enjoying the view, Robin, who had been leaning against one of the VIP booths at the back of the room with a drink in hand, can't help but pull his phone out and capture the moment on camera.

His favourite past time of getting one over on his semi-brother had never been easier since meeting Katie. He'd quickly realised that flirting with her was a sure fire way to get under Sam's skin. Without a second thought, his fingers get to work tapping away on his phone's screen. As expected, a barrage of messages are swiftly returned warning him against doing anything remotely 'Robin'.

Rolling his eyes and with a heightened sense of determination, he pockets his phone and downs the rest of his drink licking the lingering taste of whiskey from his lips. He has no intention of listening to his brother's warning to stay away, after all Sam isn't here and surely what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Completely oblivious to him moving towards her, he cuts through the crowed with laser precision until he's standing a hairs breath away from the delicious porcelain skin of her back. Her cheeks once again tingle with blush and the hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention as she feels the same, now familiar, gaze upon her once more. This time the intensity courses through her body, urging her to turn around.

Cautiously spinning on her heel, a short gasp stifled by a giggle escapes her as her eyes lock on Robin's mischievous grin. He beams at her, challenging her as his hands reach shamelessly for her waist.

"You look amazing out here," he quips, "but I think this song sounds better when you're dancing with someone."

Her cocktail induced daze prevents her from thinking about objecting. Instead, rising to his challenge, she throws him a playful smile and turns back around, pressing her hips into his crotch and swaying seductively to the music.

His hands delicately slide up from her waist, his fingertips stroking the bare skin of her back before caressing her neck and finally moving up her arms to meet with her hands which skim through the air as she sways. Their fingers interlock as he pulls her arms back down to her hips, spinning her round to face him, both breathless.

Instinctively she throws her arms around his neck while his swiftly fall to the small of her back, igniting small sparks up and down her spine.

Robin can't quite believe his luck and thanks his lucky stars that he accepted the last minute invitation to join some old friends at the hottest new bar in town, when what he had really wanted to do after his long day was go home and order pizza.

They move to the music together for a few songs, comfortable with each other's presence and both enjoying the close attention they so rarely receive from anyone else.

Perhaps it's because of their shared experience of looking in on the Dalton's world from the sidelines, but there's something so familiar and natural about being this close to Robin and a kind of ease she's never felt with any man before.

Sure, Sam insists that there is something real between them, she feels it too and their undeniable magnetism between proves there's a connection. But he's never committed 100% to her, at the end of each day he still goes to bed engaged to someone else and she can't help sometimes feeling like she's just an observer to his life.

Lost in their blissful cocoon, it isn't until another pair of hands snake around her waist that she is reminded of where they are. Warm breath from lipgloss stained lips tickles her ear causing her to take a step back from Robin, sobering her to their surroundings.

"Babe, we're heading over to the bar for a refresh, time to leave lover boy!"

Jenny winks at Robin, unapologetically looking him over like he's a piece of meat she wants to devour. She clearly doesn't realise that 'lover boy' is in fact Sam's brother, a fact which Katie doesn't intend to share. She can only imagine the probing that would follow if Jenny knew the truth.

"I'll be right there."

She offers a gentle push to Jenny's rear, encouraging her to move on. Fortunately she complies and slinks off towards the bar, not before giving an impressed nod, clearly approving of Katie's dancing partner.

Turning back to Robin, the space between them has grown and the anticipation in the air dissipated as they reluctantly realise their time together has come to an end.

Without missing a beat, Robin flashes a devilish smile as he steps close once again, reaching for her hand, bringing it up to his lips for a soft kiss.

"Until next time Katie..."

He shifts even closer causing her heart to skip a beat. His hand caressing her cheek as it slides through her delicate tresses tilting her head upwards to meet his gaze. His eyes bore into hers for what fees like an eternity before his lips tantalisingly brush against her ear.

"Unless you want to take this back to my place?"

Her breath catches as a warm glow rushes through her veins. The question hangs in the air around them like a fog clouding her judgement.

Of the two brothers, Robin is by far the easier choice, he is after all available without any strings attached.

His stature is much the same as Sam's, his skin slightly lighter, with a similar warm tone. But the eyes....those dazzling emerald green eyes which she could get lost in, framed by delicate laughter lines painted across his beautiful face. His relaxed demeanour and ability to always smile no matter what is going on around him is infectious.

Yes, being with Robin would be easier, life simpler and undoubtedly endlessly fun but as she stares back into those hypnotising green eyes, their foreheads touching, she realises with a pang in her heart that it undeniably belongs to someone else.

In defeat she licks her lips, a small movement which immediately captures Robin's attention, and shakes her head in reply.

"Oh Robin, as tempting as that sounds, I think we'd be wise to go out separate ways tonight."

He returns her smile with a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Can't blame a guy for trying. I guess I'll just have to wait until next time"

Winking, he slips away into the crowd like a ghost and for a moment she wonders whether he was even there at all.

After making her way back to the penthouse in a daze, Katie gingerly steps out of the elevator, tiptoeing carefully down the hall. Her heart skips a beat as she catches sight of Sam fast asleep on the couch.

She can't help but smile to herself as her eyes trace the outline of his sleeping body, that magnetism she so often feels when she’s around him pulling her across the room until she's standing over him.

He looks beautiful, peaceful, almost vulnerable. She realises she's never seen him sleep before and hopes it’s not too creepy to stay and watch him for a few minutes as she slinks down to sit on the footstool between the couch and the coffee table, her knees brushing against Sam's thighs.

Lying on his side, his strong arms are folded across his chest as if protecting himself like armour. His chiselled chest gently rises and falls with each breath, eyelashes fluttering delicately as he dreams, his lips slightly apart, tempting her to kiss them.

She leans closer to him, elbows resting on her bare knees. A curl of his dark silken hair has fallen in front of his eyes and she tenderly stroke it back across his forehead and he involuntarily smiles at her touch.

Staring down at this beautiful man a realisation rushes into her mind like a car speeding out of control. She is completely and utterly, hopelessly in love with Sam Dalton.

Mind slightly fuzzy, her cocktail induced confidence and new realisation makes her brave, encouraging her to gently press her lips to his while cupping his face with her warm hand. He responds immediately by sliding his arm around her waist, kissing back softly, still half asleep. She leans closer still, lips grazing the top of his ear, her voice a whisper.

"I'm home, it's late, you should've gone to bed."

His eyes flicker open, adoration pouring over her, his hand still clinging to her waist.

"I couldn't sleep until I knew you were home safe"

Her lips curl in amusement. "You do realise I’ve just woken you up right?!”

Laughing softly to himself, he sits up so his knees are touching hers and their eyes lock while they share a secret smile reserved only for each other. He runs his hand through his hair and checks the time on his Rolex.

"Oh man, I didn't realise it had gotten so late....did you have a good time with your friends?"

"It was amazing. I miss seeing them...as much as I love being here with you and the boys I've realised it's still good for me to have some time for myself."

He softly skims his hands up her thighs, his slightest touch stoking the fire within.

"Of course, I want that for you too."

Leaning in to one another, the air crackles between them, their night apart building as much desire as any foreplay. As the space between them closes, their breath tangles together. The drumming of their heartbeats the only sound they can hear, until the shrill cry of Katie’s phone cuts through the air.

Pausing with their foreheads resting together they both turn to stare at it willing it to stop, but the phones persistence echoes around the room as it continues to ring.

"That'll be Jenny checking I've got home...I'd better answer or she'll keep ringing." She sighs, hesitantly pulling away from Sam while lifting the phone to her ear.

"Hey Jen.”

Sam’s whole body slouches, visibly defeated. He shakes his head before lightly kissing her cheek as he stands, the moment regrettably over.

"Goodnight Katie" he sighs quietly, so only she hear.

Jenny animatedly chatters on about the hot cab driver who asked for her number, though Katie barely hears her as she zones out watching Sam's back retreating to the boys room to check on them before he goes to bed.

"Goodnight Sam" she sighs in resignation, her words swallowed by the now empty room.

TAG list: @shewillreadyou @txemrn @silma-words @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123 @chemist-ana

- Bonus -

Text messages between Katie and Sam after the champagne.

Text messages between Robin and Sam about Katie.

Girls group chat the morning after, completely unrelated, just for fun, just to show their dynamic!