#sobbing my heart out
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I asked for messy not for pain.
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Firstkhao is just wow I have no words. Damn stupid talented gorgeous people making me cry so much. I hate you.
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winterwrxter · 1 year ago
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Drawing animate objects for Pride Month:
Day 19: 3D PRINTED LIAM LKJRVTYIPPEJAHGRNFKSIBE <33
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cauldronofmorning · 2 years ago
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Shiv comparing herself to Caroline and Kerry and Marcia and “she’s the only one who lost something she wanted”
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sushisweetie · 8 months ago
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I'm so happy for them 😭💓
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emptybrainstuff · 1 year ago
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Why is it that you don't date anyone anymore? Do you have a specific problem with that?
Yeah, i think. No, i know
What is it?
I would rather not say, don't you think everyone are subject to having some things to themselves? I think this is my little secret, something i don't want anyone to know. Not because I'm embarrassed but i just feel like it would be tainted or something if others knew. I want it to be something just between us, me and the person it concerns.
So, you're heartbroken?
Well to be straightforward, yes, I'm heartbroken. I don't think ik how to deal with it, it'll be my own little secret.
Will you reveal it to the concerned person though?
I don't have the guts to do that. Don't you think i would have done it long ago? When i actually could have? When they would have listened? Maybe a part of the reason that i was scared that they would actually listen. Ik i should regret not telling them but i can't bring myself to, just like how i can't, even now.
Have you found a remedy for your broken heart?
Nope, not yet. Every broken heart has its own remedy, its own solution, a unique one at that. For some ppl it's someone, for others it's something and for the other few, it's a dream. Yk ig people seek out the solution actually, for their own betterment and happiness, maybe most people do. Isn't that what life is? Human beings and their wants, their needs. And they spend the rest of their lives chasing to find the solution, a piece to solve the puzzle and salve their heart. I do too. My dreams. But that's not the cause of this broken heart.
Then?
A person. Or maybe i think it's actually my own actions. I rly dk. But yeah, a person.
So? Why don't you go and find your own solution?
You see... The thing is, i don't want to. I don't want to find the solution. Ik it sounds vaguely self-destructive but i don't want to. At least not now and maybe not for a long time... I think because in the subconscious or conscious whatever, i rly want the person to come back and maybe they are the only solution to ever exist for the mortifying pain. I don't think I'd want another solution even if it exists.
Honestly? I feel right at home with the mortifying pain. Am i a masochist?
idk but i don't think it matters.
Comfort. Isn't that what everyone wants? Comfort. Absence of the necessity to feel not judged. Because you know you won't be judged. That's what comfort is. The mortifying ordeal of being known. It's part scary and part exhilarating. It's a weird combination which makes you feel wonderful. Maybe that's what everyone wants. To feel special. To belong.
And this pain? The trickle of blood from the jagged edges where the pieces of my heart had been ripped out? Makes me feel.... Special. Wanted. Unique. Unjudged. It's stupid rly. To get addicted to pain. I can understand if it's another's pain. But your own? That's even sicker. Well, doesn't love make us sick?
It feels horribly wrong for someone else to fill that gaping wound instead of them. Not her soft hand closing the jagged wounds. But rather unfamiliar fingers touching the blood. It feels uncomfortable to even think abt it. Showing my heart to someone? That's easy, the whole, unbroken, full heart. This wretched thing held captive by my ribs? I can't show this to anyone. It's beautifully corrupted. By the hands i want around my neck. To corrupt me indeed, body and soul, mind and heart, skin and flesh. To be corrupted to the point where i can feel nothing but her warm breath, to hear nothing but her singing voice, to see nothing but her smile, to want nothing but her presence. Maybe, if I'm lucky, if truly fate is in its work, i would have the privilege to show her the art, that is my heart, she begot. But like i mentioned, i do not want to find the solution.
Why do you think i suffer alongside my heart with the memories once created? That stay in a place so so so close to reality that i think i might.. might as well go mad? Mad with love. Mad with hate. Mad with the memories my lonely mind created in solitude when you deserted us? Sorry.... when she deserted us. I suffer and suffer more not because of her but because of myself. The constant remembrance of words she bared which lay imprinted on the veins of my heart looks upon the liquid which was once considered precious flowing now with all its use drained from it. I read the same messages again and again hoping that i would find more reasons i could convince my hopeless heart about our love. I rethink all of the moments we spent together analysing what i could have said, what i should have said instead. Maybe then she'd come back.... As if she ever will. It's pathetic really. How i hope she'd return. What could i have said? What could i have done to make her stay, to want her to be by my side. At least to talk to me, talk with me. But what's the point of rethinking all of this when you know that she isn't gonna come back? But i do anyway.
I am just so so tired. I actually don't think I've spent even a single day without thinking about her. It's been more than six entire months. We used to not be able to stop talking to each other even for a day and look where we are now. More than a year. I thought, i really thought i meant more than that.
Don't you think if someone really wants something, they'd work for it? If you really want something, shouldn't you atleast try to make it work? It's cowardly to leave and escape the moment things turn a little bit sour. If it had been me, i would have worked for it, hard. Begged to try and make it work. Cause it was how much she meant to me, our friendship meant to me. It's pathetic tbh, how she was my everything and i didn't matter much after all. But- but how? Even if i mattered less, how was it so easy to just throw me away? Yk what maybe it's actually me. Maybe it's my fault that i would have tried to make it work no matter what. I'm glad, rly happy that she wanted to be better though. Maybe i shld learn how to do that. But what can I do when she is the one who made me better? Made me happy and satisfied and content even when everything was falling apart? It's stupid, it's stupid how much i crave her and that too not even physically but emotionally and mentally. I should have tried better. But I'm angry too. And I'm scared that the dam will one day burst open and spill all that anger at the worst time possible. So i bite tongue and push the words deep into my throat to keep it from spilling out. No matter what, I'll try, atleast try to keep that from happening again.
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gonnanaedaethat · 1 year ago
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Just stumbled upon this drama Eternal Yesterday binged it and it was excellent in every way but heartbreaking at the same time 😭
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whattheheckmidoriya · 2 years ago
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The cinematic orchestra - 'to build a home'
Okay now I am afraid of you 🙂🙂🙂
Y'all are making me ugly cry rn😭
Ghost of You (Levi x Reader)
Summary:
Some wounds, even under the vestiges of time, never heal. When the dust has finally settled and you're free to lay down your blades, it's time to visit the one place where the future always seemed a little brighter. You just never thought you'd be doing it alone.
Send me a song and I'll come up with a fic summary for it
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kuboyesuu · 6 months ago
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I'M CRYING THAT'S HIS BABY GIRL I'M LOSING IT
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“birddaughter is violent and a threat to society” your honor that is his baby
lines only ver under cut + doodle
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cafegraces · 1 year ago
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dr. tay.lor al.lison s.wift wrote castles crumbling for cleiona bellos
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minuiko · 18 days ago
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So @jekacatrina wrote a phenomenal Pacific Rim AU that has me in an emotional stranglehold... everyone please give it some love:
Nobody else (Can take me higher) - Jeka - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own
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deanlenzart · 3 months ago
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a home youve outgrown, the fear that you havent changed at all. decided to overpaint the original piece from 2021 and add juno to the scene. felt only right, now that he has returned home
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clouvu · 7 months ago
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
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whimsicalgoose · 4 months ago
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thinking about spock being too human for vulcan, and too vulcan for most humans... and then there's kirk who looks at him with huge homosexual eyes and trusts spock with his life time and time again. and compliments his mind. and compliments the glimpses of his emotions. THEY MAKE ME ILL!!!!
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kelin-is-writing · 4 months ago
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The butterflies in my stomach going CRRRAZZY over him…
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kagoutiss · 7 months ago
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pelican town, ‘72
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dawnbreakerluna · 4 months ago
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consider an au where sylus is still a powerful figure and the unnamed ruler of onichynus but also a single father to young twin boys, kieran and luke.
he hesitates at first at the idea of taking in two children who were stranded in the n109 zone, debating on whether or not this was just another ploy of one of his many enemies. yet, with how beat down and shaken they were in that alley... that weary heart of gold spoke to him after his keen senses assured this was a matter that involved nothing but sympathy.
gaining their trust was a challenge, more so than when he first realized the power he wielded and how to use it to his advantage. but over time, his heart stirred knowing that he had an additional purpose to his life. if ruling onichynus and being the fearsome figure his stomping grounds saw him as would do him this good in being able to protect them, he would continue to do so.
then in comes you — the one he has been looking over for time now, the one who shares the unique prowess of holding an aether core in your body. the both of you are alike in many ways, only that you've yet to realize your true potential and wield your evol properly.
the resentment and hesitation you feel towards being able to trust sylus is mediated in a smoother manner, when you're introduced to the two young souls under sylus' care. while in other situations you would take advantage of this vulnerability to bargain intel, your keen assessment of the bond sylus has with his sons is genuine and true.
in kieran and luke's perspective, upon warming up to your presence and noticing the fond look in their father's eyes when he gazes at you... they wouldn't mind trying to play matchmaker. they wouldn't mind if you decided to stay around, to accompany sylus and them for the rest of their days.
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