#sobbing and shaking and hyperventilating
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#yes i get emotional when i see his name in the credits#sobbing and shaking and hyperventilating#that's my man#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#ahsoka series#ahsoka spoilers#star wars#my gifs#gsaswgifs
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#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#Side profile#I want to be in Rosario's place#His smile#This man#Ahsoka#The prettiest#Dark robes are my fav#love him#sobbing shaking and hyperventilating#I want to hug him and never let him go#He looks so soft#baby
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SHONEN JUMP YOUTUBE CHANNEL RANDOMLY POSTING A PV COMMEMORATING KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS ..........
#IM GOING TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DIE IF THIS WILL LEAD TO THE FINAL ARC GETTING ANIMATED#IM LITERALLY SHAKING SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING VOMITING VIBRATING HYPERVENTILATING LIKE OHHHHHHH MMMYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#KHR#BAKMA BANA
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Another baby !!!!
#grinning while I shake and hyperventilate and sob#there's altogether TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD#praying matteo's the dad this time he really deserves it lmfao#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 gameplay#rivers world tour#rivers legacy gen 1#ts4 legacy#rivers legacy#lennox rivers#rwt#rivers 1
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There is no way this is what calmed me down during a psychotic breakdown, god I am so FUCKING BIZZARE. Sliiiiight tw for tags describing a psychotic breakdown
#like just picture your head is spinning#your brain matter is about to explode and splatter as you lay on the cold bathroom floor#there's a painful absolutely unbearable ringing in your ears#you legimately believe your brain is exploding#your head hurts real bad#YOURE about to die#shaking#whining in pain#you cant stop crying#sobbing#laughing loudly#you start hyperventilating so hard your lungs start to legimately BURN#You start punching anything everything#yourself too#you start punching your phone and you see this on your screen and legimately stop#Like DEAD IN YOUR TRACKS#and you cry from how cute he is and start cooing and brainrotting about him#expect a new brainrot post soon enough is all i'll say
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imagine having a meltdown bc you had to take a freezing cold shower bc your voltage it down bc a tree is on the electricity lines
#Meltdowns#yall it was so cold#And I didn’t expect it#So ofc I immediately started shaking sobbing hyperventilating
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tears [rafe cameron]
pairing - rafe cameron x reader
summary - rafe was a busy man. but, when his girl knocked on the doors of tannyhill with tears streaming down her cheeks—nothing was more important than her. and he’d fix whatever was bothering her. or whoever. he hated to see his girl cry.
warnings - none rlly, hurt/comfort, protective and attentive rafe
rafe sighed into his phone call when he heard a knock on the door. he stood in his father’s office—which was now his—pacing the room.
“hey, hey man, just hang on a sec, sorry.” he muttered to the potential investor before he put him on hold. he set his phone down on the desk and marched out of the office, curses and mumbles leaving his lips.
“somebody always fuckin’ needs something.” his hand rubs over his buzzed hair as his other hand curls in and out of a fist at his side. “goddamn. probably fuckin’ sarah and her stupid—“
his mumbles come to a halt when he opens the door and sees his girl standing there, tears staining her flushed cheeks. “rafe..” she whispers weakly, her frame shaking as she looks up at him.
“hey, hey, baby.” he says quickly, completely forgetting the phone call waiting for him as all his attention, worry, and concern is shifted to her. “what’s wrong, c’mere.”
his hand reaches for her wrist, pulling her into his chest. she lets out a quiet sob as she buries her face into his chest, stepping inside. he haphazardly pushes the door shut as he keeps her close to his chest and walks them both inside and through the foyer.
he whispers shh’s, and coos at her in his arms as he heads for the living room, sitting them both down. he softly pulls her from his chest, his head dipping down to her level. his hands come to her cheeks, wiping the tears off her soft skin.
“hey, baby, what happened? talk to me.” he says, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.
“i-i-“ she stammers, unable to get words out as she chokes on cries. her breathing quickens, getting close to hyperventilating. when she cries, she goes too fast, losing control of her breathing.
“hey, hey, no. don’t do that. c’mon baby, you know better. breathe, baby, breathe.”
she begins to slow down, her breathing coming back to normal. she keeps her eyes on rafe’s, slowly calming down.
“there ya go. atta’ girl. good job. breathe.” he praises, his head nodding softly as he watches her. once her breathing fully calms, she takes one last deep breath and wipes the last of her tears.
“now, gonna tell me what’s got your pretty little head so worried, hm?” he coos, his head tilting slightly. “what’s bothering you? who do i have to kill, huh?” he jokes with a grin. but to be honest—he probably wasn’t joking.
she sniffles, her eyebrows furrowing. “my uterus.” she whines. “i’m on my period. my cramps hurt like a bitch. and my mom is pissing me off.” she sniffles, stumbling over her words slightly. “and i’m hungry. and you weren’t answering, i know you’re busy. but i just really needed to see you, i’m sorry—“
“hey, hey, it’s okay.” he nods softly. “i’m here, it’s alright. i’m not busy, doesn’t matter.” he says matter-of-factly. he wraps his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “what do you need? hm? i have that heating pad in my room i bought for you a couple months ago.” he whispers sweetly. “i can make you somethin? buy you stuff? i dunno, what do you need?”
he was willing to do anything, he didn’t care. when his baby cried, he’d move mountains to make her feel better. he’d go to every store in town, run up his credit card, do anything. as long as she got a smile on her face at the end of it.
she nods against his chest, looking up at him. “yeah.. the heating pad. and—and can you make me a grilled cheese? you make em’ so good.” she asks sweetly, her voice gentle and weak.
he smiles softly, looking down at the sweet girl in his arms. “yeah, baby, of course. i don’t know if they’re that good. everytime i make them, you’re usually drunk and it’s three in the morning. that might be why they taste so good.” he jokes.
she shoves his chest playfully. “i don’t care, you can’t fuck up a grilled cheese. please?”
he grins. “yeah, yeah. grilled cheese, heating pad. got it, baby. anything else?” he says thoughtfully, his fingers coming to push strands of hair off from where they stick to her tear strained cheeks.
she shakes her head. “just you.”
he smiles. “okay.” he kisses her forehead. “i’ll be right back, gimmie a few minutes to get all that.” he stands, making sure she’s laid comfortably on the couch. he grabs the blanket from the end of the couch and drapes it over her. his eyes search the living room, landing in the remote, he hands it to her.
he leans down, placing another kiss to her cheek this time. “put on whatever you want. i’ll be back, promise.”
he leaves her at the couch and heads back to the office. he picks up his phone and takes it off hold. “hey, gotta go. somethin’ came up. i’ll give you a call later.” he hung up before the guy could even get a word in.
nothing came before his girl.
#rafe cameron#obx fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#protective rafe#outerbanks rafe#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine
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i am so tired of having my pain medication dangled in front of me every day and then jerked away like "no actually there's been a problem" that's happened four fucking times today LITERALLY SINCE I WOKE UP. and just when i thought we had it sorted? NOPE actually one of the first problems wasn't even a real problem, i was misinformed by the fucking pharmacy, and in trying to solve that problem, made ANOTHER ONE. im so close to actually walking into fucking traffic i am so fucking exhausted
#i am so emotionally exhausted i am crying and sobbing and shaking and i don't know if i'll even be able to get them tomorrow#i don't have enough toget me through the wrekend what am i going to do if i run out?? kill myself i guess!#my chest hurts i feel like i cant breathe i jsut came down frim a massive hyperventilating panic attack#rabbit.txt
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Wow having a sudden menty b at work so fun 😀👍
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The Other Man
Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3
Your worst nightmare is avoiding your eyes.
Still sweating and slightly out of breath from the sprint you made from your home to the hospital, you try to wipe your hands down the material of your jeans, and you’re mortified to find them shaking.
Is it from adrenaline or from fear?
When they said they found your husband, alive, and he’s been fixed up all brand new, you thought everything would be fine, that things would go back to normal. Your home will finally stop being so stifling, you won’t burn a hole through your carpet from all the pacing like your friend tried to joke, and you no longer have to hold yourself at night just to stop from hyperventilating.
But when you look at his eyes and see only confusion and a drop of anxiety, you know something’s gone terribly wrong.
“He suffered trauma to the head and we noticed no signs of it during surgery, so the symptoms only showed up now. We’re sorry we hadn’t been able to warn you ahead of time,” the doctor says.
Maybe now your hands are shaking from anger.
You step towards the doctor, the sterile smell of latex gloves and death stinging your nose, and you splutter out, “What are you talking about? What’s wrong with my husband? Why is no one just telling me straight up?”
He flinches.
They both do.
You don’t feel bad, can’t feel bad.
The doctor opens his mouth and he’s explaining, rambling about all sorts of medical terms you don’t know and it’s likely he’s doing it to distract you, or punish you, but you do hear one word. It registers and sends a static ringing through your ears.
“It would seem your husband has developed retrograde amnesia.”
Amnesia.
When he finishes, a silence takes over, filling up the room and pressing you to the walls, daring you to suck in a breath. A beat or two passes whilst he wait for either one of you to say something, ask something, anything. But no one does, so he leaves and immediately you wish he stayed.
“Hi.”
His voice breaks you out of your internal panicking. It has a slight quiver, perhaps from the deep sleep he had been under, or the exhaustion that had built up, the price to pay for saving so many people in one night. The reports said, on the night he disappeared, that there had been many curses, strong ones, gathered in an organised attack, an ambush. They had backed your husband in a corner and pushed him to his limits.
They did this.
You try to smile.
“Hi, baby, how you doing?”
There’s a blush forming across his cheeks and you smile for real, finding his embarrassment adorable, but then it drops just as quick when he clears his throat, as if setting a boundary.
“So,” he drags out, “you’re my wife, huh?”
What’s the procedure for losing your loved one to an internal injury so bad you feel it cut deep? What’s the etiquette? Because you’re so sure screaming at him to stop playing this cruel joke is probably not a good idea; you already know what the doctors would say.
It would be unwise to push him.
Your steps are hesitant but you push through that invisible force keeping you back. You need to touch him, need to feel that, despite it all, he’s warm and real and breathing — at least one of you has to be.
He looks up at you from your position beside his bed and watched your hand lift towards his face. He doesn’t move, he steels himself for your sake, you know it, because your husband has always been the kindest, most empathetic man you’ve ever met.
Then you cradle his slightly cut up cheek and tears stream down before you even know it, a laugh bubbles out and you sob it out. He’s really alive.
“I’m so happy you came back.”
He smiles, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s still a genuine smile and your heart leaps. If he can smile at you like that even without the pull of the shared memories of his time with you, then surely there’s hope. Because through his dazzling eyes, always dazzling, you believe there’s a huge box of everything he had filed on you, on his love for you, his wishes and desires for for you both. It’s just locked away at the moment, but you’ll find a key.
You have to.
“I must have been pretty great to bag a gorgeous woman like you.”
“The greatest.”
He laughs in surprise. He did that every time you played along, because no one else ever had, not his own family or his friends, and not even himself.
And the hours pass by with him asking questions and you answering patiently, despite the stab at your chest from every moment he forgot, every special occasion he doesn’t remember, and you both relive the bad times, the terrible times.
Except he’s going it through for the first time.
All the nurses and doctors filter in and out, changing this, emptying that, wiping here, walking there, and throwing all sorts of information at you. Eventually, they give you a care pack full of pamphlets filled with numbers and websites for support, letting you know he’s free to leave, but that check-ups will have to be frequent to monitor his progress.
You can tell he’s getting tired; you don’t blame him, it’s been too much too fast. So you tell him, “Alright, handsome, it’s time to go home.”
He cheers up at that, eagerly packing and hobbling out of the hospital and into your car. The car ride home isn’t quiet like you had dreaded, it’s loud, bustling with more questions and excited remarks.
“No way. He ate that finger? That’s so funny.”
“Oh, his hair is really that spiky? And she puts up with both of them? Wow.”
“He’s still teaching? That’s great.”
When you pull up to the house at the end of the street, all the lights are off and you feel a little embarrassed that it doesn’t look inviting, and of course you forgot to clean up the dishes and vacuum the carpet. Maybe you should have gotten balloons and streamers, maybe invited his friends. You know the doctor said don’t overwhelm him, but they’ll definitely come knocking sooner than later.
That’s how loved your husband is.
You have a bashful smile when you finally glance up at him, both walking up to the door, and it plummets at the disappointed look on his face. He doesn’t care about the lights, only that the home he had been expecting is the one across the city, the one you had made him move out of years ago so you could live together as a soon to be wedded pair.
Now, he’ll have to live in your home as a guest, borrowing your cups and plates, and wearing clothes he didn’t buy but the other man did, and then he’ll be sleeping next to you.
A stranger.
You gulp the horrified scream down and, with shaky hands, you unlock the door, ignoring the overwhelming feeling that you’re losing an uphill battle, that things will never be the same, and he’ll never love you, not like he did.
Your husband is loyal to a fault; he won’t leave you, not because he loves you, not because he can’t imagine being anywhere else but here, with you, but because there’s a ring on his left finger that he keeps playing around with like it feels wrong to have it on.
And the realisation that you don’t care, that you have enough love for the both of you, that you want, need, to have him in any way he’ll let you, creates a dull ache in your stomach.
You don’t try to smile when you turn to him, even when he does.
All you say is,
“Welcome home, Satoru.”
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synopsis : after a traumatic event, Jay, a complete stranger, has only did anything but comfort you. From the night you guys met, it was only humane to fall for one another.
includes : 5.9k words, strangers to lovers, undergroundfighter!jay x reader, smut! (mdni), teasing jay, f!oral receiving, possessive and jealous jay:3
warnings : assault, harassment, overthinking, miscommunication
The streets of Seoul were cold like no other. Approaching winter, it was only obvious. Yet you still forgot to pack a jacket. So you clutch yourself and your bag as you walk down the late night streets. Work was tiring as always and you wanted nothing more but to succumb to your bed.
As you walked your familiar route you always winced at a specific dark alley, it always made you uneasy. You find yourself almost past it when you’re being tugged harshly by your wrist. The lamppost only growing smaller as your tugged into the alley. Your fight or flight mode comes on and you scream. Pushing, punching, kicking, anything you could to get this random guy off of you.
He pins you to the wall, his big hand clasping over your mouth and nose, closing your airways. Your hyperventilating, sobbing, tugging at this guys arm. But he’s just too strong and as you’re still fighting, you slowly feel yourself slipping away. Vision going blurry as a tear runs down your cheek.
Jay leaves the convenience store with a bag in his hand. It’s late, yes, but it’s somehow still busy. So he pulls his hood up, hiding the cuts and bruises that litter his face and lips. He opens his bag of chips, popping one in his mouth. As he gazes at the cars passing by his body freezes and body chills when he hears a scream. His head shoots towards the dark alley and without a thought he’s sprinting in, dropping his bag.
He doesn’t even have to go that far when he sees you struggling. His eyes widen, the pure fear in your eyes. He retracts his hand, clenching his fist, he socks the man in the face. You fall to the ground, choking and gasping for air.
When you look to the side you see a guy on top of the man, beating him to a pulp. You pull your legs to your chest, shaking like a leaf. Jay pants, giving one last kick to the guy, he turns to you, his brows immediately pulling together. He kneels in front of you.
“Hey, let’s go back in to the city okay?” He says softly, lightly grabbing the sides of your arms and lifting you up.
He leads you to a bench, back into the streets. He stares at you worriedly and your gaze is so far off. Your cheeks have a little bruising, making Jay clench his fist. Your eyes are a little wide, tears still lacing them, and your breaths still ragged. You’re shivering so he doesn’t waste a second in unzipping his sweater, putting it around you.
That seems to snap you out of it and you stare up at him. You blink down at your wrists, noticing they were marked from how hard the guy held them. You begin to cry again, rubbing at your wrists harshly. Jay kneels down again, quickly grabbing your hands.
“Hey it’s okay, you’re okay.” He whispers, you glance into his eyes and they look so sincere. You notice a cut on his cheek and you gasp.
“Oh no, you’re hurt.” You whisper, your hand coming up to glide along it. Jay’s eyes widen a bit but he smiles regardless.
“I’m totally fine, let’s worry about you yeah?” His lips pull together in a small smile. You nod, staring at his hands still clasped in yours.
It’s a little odd how you’re very touchy with this guy, he’s a complete stranger. But there’s something so comforting and soothing about him, maybe it’s because he just saved your life but you think it’s more than that.
“Were you…walking home?” He sits down next to you, you hum. He pouts and you let out a giggle.
“I know. Stupid right? I just didn’t think I’d be out of work so late and I live really close by so…” You drift off, Jay does his best to keep you distracted.
“Oh, did you want a ride?” He immediately sputters.
“Uh, I mean, maybe I could walk you home?” He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way and he was pretty sure getting into a strangers car was the last thing you wanted.
“Sure.” You smile, the both of you falling into step with each other.
“So do you always work late?” He breaks the silence, in no way was it awkward but he’d be lying if he didn’t want to get to know you more.
“Kinda? I don’t know stuff at the office has been more demanding lately. So I have to stay overtime.” You pout and he smiles, only because you look so adorable.
You reach the gate to your apartment and turn around to him. He seems to be pondering and you perk up.
“Oh! Your sweater!” You move to take it off but he stops you, sliding the fabric over you once again and zipping it up.
“It’s cold. Just keep it.” He smiles and you open your mouth to protest but he stops you.
“Would you want me to walk you home from work?” You blink, you were already home.
“You mean like…for the next time?” You tilt your head and he laughs.
“Yea, for the next time.” You quickly raise your hands.
“You really don’t need to! You’ve helped me so much already.” You play with the string from his sweater.
“Well, to be honest, I don’t know if I’d be happy with myself if you weren’t safe.” He mumbles, a faint blush on his cheeks. Yours resembling his now.
“Ok then.” You quip, smiling at the ground. He hands you his phone and you type in your number.
“Your names pretty.” He smiles and you laugh.
“Thanks…”
“Jay. It’s Jay.” He laughs.
“Right.”
As you were about to bid him goodbye, loud tires screeching is heard behind him, the both of you turning to the culprit.
“Jay! Where the fuck have you been! I’ve been calling-” Heeseung shuts up at the sight of you, making his lips curl in a teasing smirk.
“Oh? So this what you’ve been ignoring me for?”
Jay pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Hold on.” He murmurs to you.
You stand there blinking as Jay talks to the guy, you’re assuming they’re pretty close. He then sends you an apologetic look, waiting patiently as Jay walks back to you.
“So I guess I’ll see you when you get off work?” He smiles down at you and you nod.
“Yea. I’ll text you.” You smile.
“Take care okay? Only a call away.” He smiles, getting into the car.
You laugh bidding him goodbye as Heeseung speeds away.
Jay rests on his bed, fresh out of the shower. It’s been a week and he hasn’t gotten a text from you. Now he knows he shouldn’t pry or bug you, you have a life and so does he.
Maybe you just decided you didn’t want his help anymore. But still. Jay can’t help himself, so he shoots you a text.
Jay
Haven’t been working late?
He bites his lip.
Really Jay? That’s all you could think of?
He sighs, tossing his phone on the bed as he finishes drying his hair. That is until he gets a ping, his eyes gazing at his phone. He picks it up and smiles at the sight of your name on his screen.
Y/n:)
Haven’t worked this whole week lol.
I asked for time off
Because yk…
Jay frowns, the thought of you still scared that you didn’t even wanna go to work aches him. He wanted nothing more than to protect you, at least by his side he’d always make sure you were safe.
Jay
I understand
I hope you’ve been well:)
Y/n:)
I have been thank you Jay
I hope your week is going well
He sighs, if only it were that easy. He’s been packed with fights on fights. Heeseung has had him booked to the brim, trying to earn that ‘fast cash’ as he’d say.
He rolls his eyes at the thought. He gazes down at his hands, the cuts and bruises that litter them. The small cut on his cheek that’s almost done healing. The two of you send a few more texts and that was pretty much it. However you roam his mind all of the time. Your smile, your cute flushed face, your laugh, your voice.
So Jay is only ecstatic when you send him a text, letting him know you had went to work today. He throws on a t shirt and some baggy black jeans, pairing it with a black jacket.
He looks at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair and spraying a bit of cologne. As he walks to the living room to grab his shoes, Heeseung stares at him with confused eyes.
“What are you wearing? Where’re you going?” He says standing in front of him.
“Gotta pick up Y/n.” Jay says lightly, finishing his other shoe.
“The fight?!” Heeseung yells in disbelief.
“I said I wasn’t fighting tonight. Figure it out.” Jay grunts, clearly irritated. Heeseung crosses his arms.
“You gotta, there’s a lot of money. I’ll pick you up when you’re done walking her home.”
Jay doesn’t say a word but slam the door behind him. He huffs as he makes his way over to you. He feels undressed when he stands next to you.
You’re in slacks, a button up, with your trench coat draped over your shoulders, a scarf wrapped around you, your heels clanking on the floor.
He’s at a loss for words.
God you were so pretty and even prettier when you shoot him a smile, waving at him.
“Hey.” You say a little too giddily.
“Hi Y/n.” He smiles, standing in front of you.
“Oh! Your sweater. I washed it for you.” You hand it over to him and he gives you a heartwarming smile.
“You didn’t have to you know?”
“I know. I wanted to.” You stuff your hands in your pocket.
He smiles, throwing it over his shoulder. Jay stands close to you as you both walk, which brings you comfort, you know it’s just his presence though.
“You’re all dressed up. You going somewhere tonight?” You grin, playfully teasing him.
Jay flushes, he would admit that he did try with his appearance tonight, even if he is just walking you home. He needed to get a grip.
“Uh, you could say that.” He scratches at his jaw. You chew your lip, not being able to resist the guilt of possibly holding him back.
“You know Jay if you were busy you didn’t have to walk me home. Even though I appreciate it.” You send him a nervous smile and he quickly shuts you down.
“N-No! I don’t necessarily have plans. I just wanted to look nice.”
For you.
He’d like to add but he fears it might be too early for that.
You hum, readjusting your bag. He catches this and swiftly pulls it off you, slinging it around him. When you look at him to say something he just sends you a smile.
The two of you are red in the cheeks but you’d both just blame it on the cold weather. His heart pangs when your apartment comes into view. Hating how shortly lived your guys talks and walks were.
“Well, this is my stop.” You turn to him and he hands you your bag.
You noticed how red his nose has gotten and you laugh, making him blink in confusion. You unwrap your scarf, placing it over Jay’s neck, his breath hitching.
“There.” You pat it down, your hands sliding off his chest.
“It’s getting colder Jay, make sure to cover up.” He laughs, shaking his head in amusement.
“You’re to cute.” He says before he can even stop himself. You both freeze, staring at each other wide eyed.
“Uh, sorry, it just slipped.” He laughs dryly, running a hand through his hair. You laugh it off, not ignoring how it made your heart skip a beat.
“I was gonna ask, maybe if you’re not too busy after work we could grab something to eat? On me of course.” You hum, nodding up at him.
“I’d love that Jay.” He hums, hands in his pocket as he watches you reach the gate.
“Have a goodnight and get home safe.” You narrow your eyes at him and he laughs.
“I will, goodnight.”
Almost as if on cue, Heeseung is pulling up next to him, rolling down his window.
“Come on! We don’t have much time!”
Even though you’re inside, you pause a little watching them interact. Heeseung throws him a tank top and Jay quickly takes off jacket and shirt.
Your eyes bulge out of your skull.
He was so toned and lean. His biceps perfectly sculpted and his back muscles. Don’t get started on his abs. You hurriedly turn around rushing up to your apartment. After he slides on the tank top, he’s closing the car door shut.
“So have you kissed her yet?” Heeseung cheekily says and Jay groans.
“Shut up and drive man.”
You and Jay’s little walks became a routine and ultimately, something you looked forward after your harsh work. Jay did end up taking you out for dinner the next day and now you guys try something new every single time you go out to eat. It became something you both enjoyed.
Especially for Jay, after rough matches and knowing a belt fight was awaiting him. Being with you always seemed to keep him at bay.
You’re on your break when a coworker of yours comes up to you. Nelly. She was nice but also nosey.
“Hey girl, you didn’t tell me you had such a hot boyfriend!” She exclaims and you almost choke on your drink.
“W-What?”
“Yea! The guy that’s been walking you home for what? More than a month?” You’re flushed and she grins.
“Does he have any hot friends too? Set me up!” She pats the wall of your cubicle.
“We’re not dating Nelly. But sure I’ll ask him.” You mutter and she barks back a dragged out thank you. You laugh to yourself pulling out your phone and sent a couple texts to Jay.
Y/n ❤️
omg my coworker has been spying on us
not actually lol but she mentioned you always walking me
and also mentioned if you have any hot friends
anyways gotta get back to work, see you after Jay:)
Jay spits out a wad of blood, cringing at the cold water that’s being poured over him.
“Come on man, this guy ain’t any different, you got him.” Heeseung says, his words of encouragement to lock in Jay’s position for the belt fight.
Jay had been training for weeks upon weeks. There was no way Heeseung would let him lose now.
With a ding, both fighters are meeting up in the middle of the ring, circling one another. Few punches are thrown, which Jay dodges with expertise. Jay lands a damaging liver shot, causing the fighter to falter. Jay’s eyes glimmer with fire upon seeing an opening.
With a faint jab he’s knocking his opponent out with his signature right hook. The crowd roars as Jay smiles, the arena screaming his name. In the locker room, Jay dries his hair from the shower.
“My man!” Heeseung laughs, slapping him right on the back, Jay winces and Heeseung mumbles a small sorry.
“You’re a money maker you know that? We’ll probably be millionaires when you win that belt fight.” He laughs and Jay shakes his head, a small smile lacing his features.
“I’ll see you at the apartment, gotta get Y/n.” Heeseung eyes widen a little.
“Uh Jay?” He turns to him.
“It’s not too late?”
Jay freezes, ripping out his phone from his pocket, seeing missed texts and missed calls from you, he curses, sprinting out the doors. If Jay had calmed down and maybe stopped to think he would’ve asked Heeseung to give him a ride. Yet of course he didn’t, and he’s sprinting to your job.
Coincidentally, your work wasn’t far from the underground gym he fights at but still he was tired from the performance he just put up. When he arrives at the front of your job, he calls you, panting.
“Y/n, Hey! I’m sorry I’m late—” He says rushed out but you interrupt him.
“Jay, it’s okay. My friend gave me a ride home. My house is on the way to his anyways.”
His?
It doesn’t sit right with Jay, as a matter of fact it irks him. Jealousy bubbles in his chest and he can’t resist the way his tone changes.
“Oh, did he get you something to eat?” He taps his phone, his jaw clenched.
“Yea, we went out.” He grips his phone tighter, rolling his eyes.
“Great.” He replies shortly and you side eye your phone, a pout gracing your lips.
“I told you Jay if you’re busy you don’t have to feel obligated to walk me home.” You sigh and so does he.
“It’s not that, I—just had to do something and it slipped my mind.” His words don’t help the situation and you frown.
“You’re proving my point.” You laugh awkwardly and he grows frustrated.
“You know what I gotta go, glad you got someone else to take you home.” He doesn’t even let you answer before he hangs up, leaving you dumbfounded.
Jay hadn’t texted you for almost two weeks and you were both frustrated and worried. Even if he did answer he’d respond with short replies or excuses as to why he couldn’t walk you home. You can’t help but repeat your guys last conversation over and over in your head.
Was he jealous? You guys never discussed what you guys were.
You guys had to be just friends right? Pushing down your feelings and looking at it realistically you truly didn’t know if Jay even reciprocated your feelings.
Even if there was knowledge to how you both felt, there was no label.
It’s not like Jay was doing any better. He was upset and yet he has no reason to be since you guys weren’t even together, it still bothered him.
Jay knew he liked you but he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. And even though this guy was your friend he couldn’t stop his mind from racing at the thoughts of you seeing other people.
That thought alone leaving a sour taste in his mouth and an ache in his heart. It was bothering him so much he wasn’t even doing good in training.
“Damn man, what is wrong with you? You got the power but where’s your strategy. You’re fighting sloppy. The fight is tomorrow.” Heeseung says frustratedly and even a little worried. Jay rips his gloves off, tossing them to the side.
“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” Jay snaps. Heeseung grows angrier.
“What the fuck is your problem? Things ain’t going good with your girl?” Jay scoffs, taking a drag out of his water.
“I’ll take that as a yes, don’t fuck this up.” Heeseung says, walking away.
“Fuck you.” Jay spits, his breathing uneven.
Leaving him alone to rustle with his thoughts.
You’re at work when you overhear your coworkers talking about some fight in the lunch room.
“Man! You said you’d come! This is like the biggest fight ever!” He exclaims pointing at a paper. You blink and continue to eat your food.
“Who’s fighting again?” Another coworker asks and the guys eyes glint with excitement.
“The one and only RAS! Jongseong Park! Jay?” The guy says and your head snaps towards them.
Their words die out.
It couldn’t be your Jay right?
“Hey, can I see it?” You point to the paper and your coworkers stare at you confused.
“Uh sure.”
Your eyes almost bulge out your skull when you see Jay on the front of it, a lopsided grin on his handsome face adorning no shirt at all.
He was a boxer?!
Scratch that an underground fighter?! You couldn’t believe your eyes.
“They’re fighting tonight?” You say in disbelief and the guy hums.
“I didn’t take you as a boxing watcher?” The guy grins and you hum.
“My brother is obsessed with it.”
Is the last thing you say before making your way to your computer. Searching up Jay’s name and the fight to begin with. You find nothing other than small posts about it.
However you find a an address, matching the same one on the paper. It was less than fifteen minutes from your job.
You realize now that the topic of Jay’s occupation never was mentioned. But now it made sense, all of the injuries he’d have.
You can barely focus on your work for the rest of the day. Only on Jay and this fight that was coming up.
Immediately after you clock out you’re making your way to said address. It’s in a very sketchy part of the city. You can’t help but feel like a piece of meat with the way everyone stares you down. However you make it to the building and it looks like a motel.
“I’m here for the fight?” You say and the guy blinks at you.
“Fifty bucks.” He says and you sigh, sliding the cash over to him. He nods at the guards and they let you pass, opening a door.
As you walk down the stairs, screams and cheers grow louder. You gawk at just how big this place was. It was like an underground stadium! You quickly notice all of the banners, posters, cutouts, you name it, of Jay.
As you walk through the crowds, you’re being stared down once again. You understand why, you look too formal to be here. Most of the women wearing little to no clothing, you stood out like a thorn. The lights turn off and you gasp. Shining right in the middle of the ring. The crowd silencing.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” He yells and the crowd roars, claps, throwing drinks.
“This fight lasts ten rounds, each three minutes long. Make sure to place your bets because we’re ready to rumble!” He screams, further pumping up the crowd.
“Fighting out of the blue corner, Ethan, Boogieman Davis!” The crowd is filled with boos and cheers, the man raising his hands up, holding them near his ears.
“Out of the red corner. The one and only, Jongseong RAS Park!”
The whole ground shakes with the amount of people screaming for him. Jay smiles, raising his gloved hand and bowing.
“God he’s so fucking hot right!” A random girl nudges you and you blink at her.
“He must be so good in bed. All that stamina has gotta go somewhere.” She laughs and you flush.
As the round starts you’ve accepted that you can’t watch it. To scared to see the outcome or watch Jay get punched. So you roam around the place. You pass by the bar and what looks like to be a food court and the restrooms.
Until you find another set of stairs. You walk up them as the scream’s Ooo’s! and Ah’s begin to fade again. You find a hallway, doors littering them. As soon as you reach one of them, it opens. You freeze and the mystery person doesn’t stop until they see you.
“No fucking way.” Heeseung gawks. You blink at him and he hasn’t moved.
“W-What are you—How? Oh my god.” He freaks out, pacing and grabbing at his hair. You open your mouth to say something but he cuts you off, pushing you by your shoulders.
“Honey you need to leave like right now and act like you’ve never ever came here ok?” He says all rushed out and you stop spinning towards him.
“I’m not leaving.” You pout and he groans.
“If Jay sees you. I’m dead!” He emphasizes with his hands.
“Scratch that. He can’t see you.”
“Why?”
“He’ll lose! I don’t know what has happened between you but you have got him riled up and in a bad mood for the past two weeks! So if he sees you there’s no way he’s winning. And I need him to win!” Heeseung says almost desperately.
“Well I can’t leave.” Heeseung whines and looks down at you, nibbling on his lips.
“Fine! But you’re staying in here.” You open your mouth to protest but Heeseung isn’t having it.
“Stay. In. Here. You’re safer in here anyways.” He sighs.
“I gotta go, Jay needs me.” He says, throwing an apologetic look your way and leaving without another word. Y
ou can still hear faint cheers and you sigh, your nerves all over the place.
Back down in the ring, it’s the 6th round. Both fighters are already battered up and even though Jay looked almost unscathed, he has a nasty gash on his eyebrow, due to the opponent “accidentally” headbutting him.
“You have to end this quick. He’s playing nasty, technically you’re winning by that point deduction but still. We want a knockout.” Heeseung says as a medic helps to clean and stop his cut from profusely bleeding.
The seventh round commences and without a second passing the “Boogieman” is delivering hard punch right to the Jay’s gash, making him stumble. The guy grins and doesn’t hesitate to land calculated punches on Jay.
He’s against the ropes, trying to block and evade any punches that are being thrown.
He’s so tired.
He wants to stop.
He wants it to be over.
Maybe if he just let one connect and lose it’d be fine.
His mind travels to you, your voice buzzing through him. ‘My Hero.’ You once said jokingly to him when he caught you from almost tripping. He smiles at the memory.
God did he miss you so fucking much.
At this time you both would probably be roaming the streets, getting snacks and cracking jokes. With the seventh round surely going to his opponent, Heeseung grows worried.
“Fuck, come on man. You gotta win this. If not for yourself, for Y/n.” Jay’s head snaps towards Heeseung and he gulps.
You’re with Jay all the time, when he’s home, training or even right now. You never leave his mind. Even though you don’t know this side of him, he’ll use you as his motivation.
That if he wins this, he’ll stop being a fucking coward and fess up his feelings for you, maybe even kiss you like he’s always wanted to.
So with the beginning of round eight, he lets his opponent land a couple of hits, reading his movements. It’s a risky play and Heeseung is practically shitting himself.
Right when his opponent goes into his mantra of rushed punches, Jay waits for an opening.
Stupid move.
The “Boogieman” had let his guard down, believing Jay wouldn’t do anything other than block. But in a moment Jay is ducking, turning his body, he’s delivering a nasty uppercut.
The whole crowd silences for a moment, sitting at the edge of their seats as the fighter hits the ground. The referee begins his counts and people begin standing up, counting with him. Jay breathes heavily, ready for sign that his opponent might get back up.
However the ref reaches ten, signaling the fight is over. The arena is louder than ever, as Jay smiles in relief, almost laughing. Heeseung and some people from their team join him in the ring, picking him up and cheering. With the announcer, both fighters and the referee between them.
“Our new lightweight champion by KO, Jongseong ‘RAS’ Park!” The announcer drags out, the referee holding his hand up as they wrap the belt around his waist. Jay smiles as the crowd chants his name, holding his belt. Jay gives a small speech, showing his respects to his opponent, the fight is over.
As quickly as victory is there it’s gone when Heeseung remembers you waiting in the locker room. The both of them walking up the steps.
“Jay.” Heeseung says and he turns around.
“What’s up.” He says stopping in front of the door. Heesung’s gives him an envelope.
“Y/n is here.” He almost whispers and Jay grows angry.
“Really man, that’s not fucking funny.” He rolls his eyes, beginning to turn the handle.
Heeseung stands with his head down as Jay opens the door and sees you standing there. The envelope falling from his hands.
He blinks once.
Then twice.
Then he’s turning around, definitely going to kill Heeseung.
“Wait!” You both yell and Jay freezes, his eyes snapping towards you. You stand there with a pout.
“Just, talk to me please. Deal with him later.” You mumble. Jay sends a glare to Heeseung.
“Leave.” He grits and Heeseung is gone in a flash.
Jay picks up the envelope and closes the door behind him. You watch as he sits on the bench, unwrapping his hands. You sigh at the cuts on his face. He doesn’t pay you any mind until you’re in front of him with a first aid kit.
“What’re you-” You hold his face and he blushes, eyes meeting yours.
You stare at him a little longer before you begin to open the box. You inspect the deep gash on his eyebrow. Your finger softly gliding around the skin.
“You’re gonna need stitches.” You whisper and he hums.
“Did you win?” You break the silence and he sighs.
“Mhm.” He says shortly, making you pout. You narrow your eyes and push the cloth with alcohol in to one of his cuts.
“Ah! What the hell!” He groans staring up at you.
“You ignore me for two weeks and you’re still mad? I don’t even know what I did!” You continue to pout as you tend to his wounds.
“I’m sorry.” He finally says.
“I’m being stupid.”
“Yea you are.” He narrows his eyes at you and you smile.
“Actually I have a right to be mad. Why are you here.” He frowns, crossing his arms.
“What? You didn’t want me finding this out? The one and only RAS?” You tease and he groans.
“You don’t care?” He grows a little conscious.
“No? It’s hot anyways.” He blushes again and you smile, gliding your thumb along a cut in his lip.
“You should be happy. You won.” You say softly and he nods.
“Thanks to you.” He gazes up at you and blink.
“I thought of you, you’re like my only motivation.” He mumbles, now his ears and neck were red. You smile and swiping his hair out of his face.
“You big sap.” You laugh, biting your lip. His hands come up to rest on the small of your back, rubbing circles.
“I really like you.” He whispers and your heart clenches.
“And I’ve been such a fucking coward and when you mentioned that guy—I just.” You can’t help but smile.
“I like you to Park.” He rolls his eyes, you lean down and peck his lips.
His eyes widen, staring at you in disbelief. You smile cutely as you clean his cut, but he grabs your wrist. He stands up, caging you against the lockers. His hand cups the back of your neck, the other on your waist. He pulls you into another kiss. You both lose yourself in each other, your hands tightly gripping his tank top.
“Wanted to do this for so long.” He breathes against your lips. His hand slides down, gliding along your waist and back.
“Got so mad when you mentioned that guy.” He huffs, nibbling on your bottom lip. You gasp and he shoves his tongue in your mouth.
“M-My friend?” You question and he almost growls.
“Don’t care what he is. You’re mine.” He breaks away from your lips, planting kisses down your neck.
“J-Jay.” You moan, your hands gripping his hair.
He hisses, clamping his teeth down on your neck. You whine, craning your neck to give him more access as your hands drag down his chest. You finally feel the muscle and rigid of his abs, making you bite your lip.
“Please.” You whine and he smirks.
“What you begging for huh?” He whispers in your ear, biting your earlobe, you grip his shoulders and he grins.
He pats your thighs and you jump. He carries you with ease, setting you on the counter of the sink. His hands rub at your thighs as he slots himself between your legs, spreading them apart.
“Can I?” His hand rests on your shirt and you nod. He teasingly unbuttons it slowly one by one.
“Jay stop teasing.” You whine, tugging at his wrist.
“Such an impatient girl.” He smiles, sliding the shirt off of you. He immediately places kisses on the apple of your breasts, squeezing one of them.
“So fucking beautiful.” He whispers in to your skin.
“I’m gonna take these off okay?” He says, tugging at your slacks. You nod dumbly and he smiles, pecking your lips.
As he works off your pants you rake your nails along his abs, making him shudder. He drops down to his knees, placing kisses and sucking marks into your plush skin, massaging your thighs.
“Perfect, you’re so perfect.” He gazes up at you and you moan at the sight.
He peels off your panties, licking his lips upon seeing your glistening folds.
“Fuck pretty, you’re wet.” You whine in embarrassment, your hands shooting to cover your face and he laughs.
Licking a long achingly strip. You sigh, your thighs twitching. He cups the back of your knees, placing your legs on his shoulders. He sucks and nips at your clit, pretty noises leaving your mouth as your juices cover his mouth.
“Taste so sweet.” He groans and you flush at his words.
“S-Stop talking—ngh!” You moan as he inserts two fingers inside your greedy hole.
“What was that baby?” You whine, as he pumps them inside you, his arm flexing.
“You’re mean.” You whimper and he only smiles wider.
As his fingers move faster so does his tongue, flicking your bud. His lips so plump and fast.
“Jong—” You moan and he can feel his cock twitch.
“Fuck, say it pretty girl.” He pulls out his fingers and you pout at the emptiness until he’s replacing it with tongue. A guttural moan leaving you.
“Close! So close Jongie.” Your hole clenches around his tongue, only sucking him in.
He groans against you, only adding more stimulation, feeding the fire that you feel in your core. His hand moves up to rub your clit, he feels you flutter against him, your cunt spasming against him.
“Cumming!” You cry out, your legs closing around him as your hand tugs at his hair, riding his face. He licks and sucks up all your juices, rubbing soothing circles on the inside of your thighs.
“Did so good for me.” He says breathlessly, peppering soft kisses on the inside of your thighs, even one on your tummy.
Your head still fuzzy from your orgasm but you smile down at him. He gently slides your panties back on along with your pants. He wipes his face with one of his towels, placing a kiss on the side of your head.
“So does this mean I can take you out on a date?” He asks, his hands at your waist once again.
“After that performance, I can’t say no.” You grin, your arms wrapping around his neck.
“You’re talking about my fight or my mouth.” He grins as you shove him away.
“Who knew you were such a freaking tease.” You flush, his hands intertwining with yours.
“Still waiting on that answer angel.”
“You called me like a million names already.” You laugh and he smiles.
“Just seeing which ones I like more but they all suit you.” He smiles and you do too.
“Yes Jay, I’ll go on a date with you.” He pecks your lips, tasting yourself on his lips.
“It’s Jongseong to you or Jongie.” He grins.
“Just to be clear you’re mine right? I just don’t wanna ask you like this.” He raises his brows.
“Yes, I’m yours.” You laugh.
“All yours Jongie.” You drag out and he nuzzles his face in your neck.
“Atta girl.”
Heeseung😒
wrap it up dude
the owner is waiting for you two to leave
glad you made it to third base though;)
#enha nsfw°•#jay x reader#jay x you#jay x y/n#jay smut#jay fluff#jay fic#jay imagines#jay drabbles#jay scenarios#jongseong x reader#jongseong smut#jay park x reader#jay park smut#park jongseong x reader#park jongseong x you#park jongseong smut#park jongseong fic#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen smut#enhypen fic#enha x reader#enha x you#enha x y/n#enha x female reader#enha imagines#enha smut
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Rat in the Mouse Cage
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Summary: There's a rat on base, and all evidence seems to be pointing to you.
Warnings: lowkey mean!soap, angst, language, angst, ptsd, angry!ghost, more of mouse's backstory??,
Word Count: 5.5K
A/n: here it is, the angsty one. I had SO much fun writing this and I reaaalllly hope you guys enjoy! The next few parts are in progress but you should see them soon!
~*~
Soap opens the door to the boardroom, a room you've never been in before, and you follow him when he motions you into the room.
Captain Price is seated at the table, his eyes focused on a file in his hands.
The air is tense, and you're immediately on edge.
"Have a seat," Soap says, his voice hard.
You comply, sitting across from Price anxiously.
"Is... everything okay?" You finally ask, looking between the two men.
Price sighs and sets his paper down, finally lifting his gaze to yours.
"No. Everything's not okay."
You feel dizzy with how quickly the blood leaves your face.
"Ghost... is okay?" You ask after a long moment, squeezing your hands together as you prepare yourself for the worst.
"Yes, Ghost is fine."
You frown, glancing around.
"Where is he?"
Price and Soap exchange glances, the latter standing at the closed door with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.
You've never seen him look so... angry before.
"Listen, I'm gonna give you this one chance to come clean. Don't make this any harder for yourself than it already is," Price warns softly.
"Who do you work for?"
The question catches you off guard, and you cock your head to the side.
"I... I don't work."
Price scrubs a hand over his face, the language barrier only adding to his anger.
He glances over at Soap, and the Sergeant takes that as his cue to clarify.
"We know you've been sellin' information. We need to know exactly who it is you work for. Who your buyer is."
Your mouth drops open in shock at the accusation, but he's speaking again before you have a chance to defend yourself.
"We've already caught you, so don' bother tryna lie your way outta this."
You shake your head so hard you make yourself dizzy.
"No, no! Not me! I-I don't talk to anyone! I don't give any information, I have no money I don't sell anything! Where is Ghost?" If Ghost is here, he'll listen. He can help you. He'll trust you.
You just need Simon.
"He's not here," Soap says coldly.
"I want Ghost, please!" You all but cry.
"Well he doesn't want you!" Soap shouts, slamming his hands on the table. "No one wants a filthy rat!"
The words are spat with enough malice to cut you deeper than a knife ever has.
"Ghost already knows the truth. Had to keep him away or he'd kill ya before we get answers."
The two men watch as Soap's words have the desired effect, your shoulders slumping forward and tears welling up in your eyes.
It hurts them to have to do this, to have to hurt you. You seemed so sweet, so innocent. But if it's what protects the team, so be it.
"I'm gonna ask you one more time," Price says, "Who do you work for?"
You bring your teary eyes to his and shake your head once again.
"I don't work. I don't sell anything and I am not rat."
You're innocent, and this is a hill you'll die on if you have to.
Price heaves out a heavy sigh then nods at Soap.
He walks around the table to you, ignoring the way you shake your head and try to rise up out of your seat to get away from him.
You raise your hands in surrender when he reaches you, not fighting him as he zip-ties your wrists together in front of you.
"Please, I just want Ghost, please," you beg tearfully, trying your hardest to hold back sobs as he marches you out of the room.
Soap says nothing, only leads you down a hallway that you've never seen before.
"Wh-where do you take me?"
He stops outside of an elevator, hand firmly holding your bicep as he waits for it to arrive.
"Holding cells. A cage fit for a rat like you."
Cage. Another cage.
You can feel yourself start to hyperventilate.
You can't go back in a cage. You won't.
The elevator doors open and he pushes you inside, following after and quickly pressing the button marked 'B'.
You stare at the back of his head as the doors close.
"I didn't do it," you whisper once again, your voice soft and full of tears.
Soap swallows his feelings, the regret carving a hole in his heart.
He truly thought you were good, that he knew you, could trust you.
He can only imagine how angry Ghost will be when he finds out who he's been sharing his bed with.
"You may have Ghost fooled, but I can't deny the facts, and they all point to you," he says stiffly.
Your heart hammers painfully in your chest as the elevator walls begin to close in on you.
You can't go back in a cage. You can't. It took you forever to break out of the first one, the one you called home. Now, you've found something good. A real home, a family.
Only for them to turn on you.
Before you're fully aware of what you're doing, you sweep Soap's feet out from under him. You then straddle his waist and knock your fist against his head, wincing when his head rocks back against the ground with a dull 'thud'.
It hurts you to hurt him, but you don't have time to dwell on that.
Instead, you rise to your feet and hit the STOP button, then grab his knife from his belt and slice your wrists free.
Tears cloud your vision as anxiety eats you, and you scrub your hands over your hair. You throw your head back as you struggle to breathe, only for your escape route to hit you right in the face.
Glancing between Soap's unconscious body and the roof opanels, you cringe internally at what you're about to do.
It takes a lot more effort than you thought it would to hunch him over where you need him to be, and then you're stepping carefully on his back and pushing the ceiling tiles aside.
You climb up and out, crouching on top of the elevator for a long moment as you try to figure out your next steps.
~*~
"Simon, a word," Captain Price says, intercepting the man as he returns to base.
Ghost tenses slightly, but falls into a step beside his superior.
"I wanted you to hear it from me first. We've taken your little mouse into custody for now. Soap brought her downstairs for detainment while we investigate further. All our intel shows that she's our rat."
His head snaps to his Captain and he stops walking.
"What are you talking about?"
Price sighs and extends a file for Ghost to read, but the man only stares down at it.
"I know how heavily you're... involved with her, which is why I wanted to be the one to tell you."
"Let me talk to her."
Price doesn't get to give him an answer, he's already marching toward the elevator.
"Simon, this isn't up for debate. She's guilty, and she'll be punished for what she's done. That's the way of the world, son. I hate that you got your feelings wrapped up in this, but-"
"We need to explore all other options before we continue with this. How could she be the rat? She never leaves my quarters unless she's accompanied by Soap or Gaz."
"That you're aware of," Price corrects, coming to a halt beside the man as he waits for the elevator.
"You can't be on this, Simon. You wanna talk to her, you can this once, but after that this is out of your hands. You're too involved."
Simon grinds his teeth together but remains silent.
He just needs to talk to you, that's all. Somehow, he'll prove you're innocent, and this will all be dealt with.
After what feels like an eternity, the elevator doors open, and Simon's heart drops into his feet.
"Soap!"
Price is at the man's side in an instant, helping him into a seated position and checking his pulse.
His hard gaze turns to the Lieutenant.
No words are spoken. They don’t need to be. Simon knows exactly what’s going through the man’s head.
If you’re innocent, why run?
While Price checks on Soap, Simon steps into the elevator, looking up to where the tiles have been moved.
Your escape route, no doubt.
Through there, he's sure you've found a way out through the vents or into the ceiling, but either way he knows you're probably long gone. Lost now somewhere in the hidden areas of the base.
Rather than dwell on that, he's quick to help his Captain bring Soap to the medical wing, silent the entire time.
He knows you're not the rat. Deep in every fibre of his being, he knows. He can feel it in his bones. But his gut feelings aren't enough to sway his Captain.
"I want her found and I want it done quick. We keep this under wraps, no one is to know she's on the loose. The last thing we need is anyone in a panic."
"Let me just talk to her. She'll listen," he tries.
Price shakes his head, "what part of 'you can't be on this' do you not understand? You're dismissed, and if I catch you trying to involve yourself, I'm gonna hafta take it above my head," he threatens.
Ghost says nothing, only grinds his teeth together, turns on his heel, and marches out of the medical wing.
He's not sure where to go, spends a good amount of time pacing angrily through the halls as he tries to figure this out, folder from Price held tightly in his hands.
He hasn't read it yet, he can't.
Though he knows it's not you, he can't shake the fear, the ill feeling gripping his spine at the idea of you being capable of something like that.
Eventually, he discards the file on the desk in his office then heads up to the roof to smoke a pack or two.
He doesn't feel your presence until his third cigarette.
Trying to stay nonchalant, he takes another drag.
"I know you're here," he finally says, blowing out the smoke and looking down at the ground.
His mask is pushed up around his nose, and he doesn't bother adjusting it.
"I'm not going to tell them where you are or... bring you to them. I just... I just want to make sure you're okay. Please."
You stand in the shadows, eyes on his back as you weigh his words carefully before slowly stepping forward.
He turns to you, his heart breaking when he sees your puffy tear-stained face.
"Why do you want me to be okay? Why see me?" You ask, your voice hoarse from all the crying.
His brows pull together and he longs to reach for you.
"Why wouldn't I? All I've ever wanted is for you to be okay."
Your bottom lip wobbles and you shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest as he steps toward you.
"Soap told me... what you really think," you begin, "that you... you don't want to see me. You-you think I'm rat, too."
"He's lying." He says the words immediately, without a moment of hesitation or a shred of doubt.
You glare up at him, taking a half-step back when he reaches for you.
"I'm not going in cage."
"I know." He takes another step forward.
"I didn't do it." You take another step back.
"I know."
"I didn't do it and they-they don't believe me. I save Soap's life! I do everything I can to help! To be good, and they don't believe me! Why don't they believe me?!" Your eyes blur with unshed tears and you suck in a hiccuping breath.
"I don't know," Ghost whispers.
His heart aches for you and he feels anger simmer deep within him at the lies spewed in a pathetic attempt at drawing a confession from you.
"They tell me you will kill me," you whisper, shaking your head as tears slip down your cheeks.
"I could never, Mouse." He takes another step forward, and he's almost close enough to touch you.
"If I don't go with them... they don't trust me. But if I do go with them... they still don't trust me. I am in cage... or they kill me."
Finally, he reaches forward, tilting your chin up and forcing you to look at him.
"I won't let that happen," his voice is harder now. "I won't let any of them touch you."
Your breathing gets quick again and he holds your hand, squeezing tightly.
"Breathe with me," he whispers.
You obey, following his breaths and successfully calming yourself down.
He nods, satisfied, then gently takes hold of your wrists, inspecting the angry red marks left by the zip-tie.
His eyes lift back up to yours and it's like you're seeing him for the first time that night.
"I didn't do it, Simon. Please, I didn't."
His eyes soften and he nods, cupping your cheek softly.
"I know, love. I believe you."
You finally nod, exhaling heavily as if a weight is lifted off of your chest.
He believes you. You knew he would. You knew you could trust him.
"But someone else did, and now they're trying to frame you for it."
It takes a minute for his words to process in your brain, but when they do you're frowning up at him.
"Why me? Who... who would do that?" What kind of horrible monster would do something like this?
"I don't know, little one. But I'll fix this. I just need you to trust me."
You blink your wet eyes a few times at him.
"How will you fix?"
"Just trust me." That's easy enough. You've been doing it since the moment you met him, and you have no intention of stopping anytime soon.
"What do I do?"
He pushes your hair away from your face and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, then pulls you into a tight hug.
You relax instantly, melting into his arms and snuggling your head against his chest.
He rests his chin atop your head and sighs heavily.
"Just give me time, Mouse, I promise. I won't let them touch you."
Your hands ball his shirt into your fists.
"Where do I go?"
He sighs one more time and closes his eyes, trying to figure that out as well.
Eventually, he settles on telling you the truth.
"I don't know."
~*~
His fist is knocking on Price's office door later that evening.
"Come in."
He's inside the office before the words are fully out of his Captain's mouth.
"I know you said not to get involved," he begins, holding back an eye-roll when Price sighs.
"Simon," he warns.
"And if you tell me one more time then fine, I won't get involved on your side of this," he continues as if Price hasn't said a word, "but there's a rat here, and you need all the help you can get if you wanna flush them out."
Price rubs his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut.
"We already know who the rat is."
"No, you think you know who the rat is," Simon argues.
"All the evidence points to your mouse. Are we supposed to deny the facts because she warms your bed at night?" He snaps, growing tired of this.
"The facts are that you didn't even properly talk to her. You cornered her, ambushed her, threw vile accusations and lies at her to try and get some fake confession from her, and you're surprised that she ran. Those are the facts."
Price leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.
"So, you've talked to her."
Simon places his hands on the desk, leaning forward.
"Let me help."
Price shakes his head, "nothing comes between me and my team."
"Then let me help and nothing will."
Price's thick brows raise.
"Are you threatening me, Lieutenant?"
Silence hangs long and heavy between the two of them and neither man makes an effort to break it for a good few minutes.
Finally, Price speaks.
"The safety of my team comes first before anything else."
Simon nods slowly and straightens back up.
"If that's the case, then it's in the best interests of everyone involved if you let me find the rat. The real rat. Because I'm not lettin' a single one of you touch a hair on her fuckin' head."
It's quiet again for a few minutes, but this time Simon is the one who speaks.
"Three days," he says quietly. "That's all I need."
Price looks at him warily for a long while before huffing out a sigh and shaking his head.
"If you don't have the rat in front of me in three days, regardless of who it is, I'm gonna gas the building with your Mouse hiding in it. Best way to flush out a rat."
Simon grinds his teeth together but nods his understanding, turning on his heel and marching out of the office.
He doesn't go far, only down the hall to his own office where the folder lies.
He plops down in his chair and flips it open, ready to pour over every word until he finds something to work with.
He's only reading for about half an hour before he hears it, soft creaking coming from the ceiling above him.
He knows it's you, but before he can say anything, theres a knock on his office door.
"Come," he barks, tossing he file back on his desk as Soap pushes the door open.
Simon's eyes narrow at the man, the lies he spewed still tumbling around in his brain.
"Heard you visited Price... and you've met with yer Mouse," the mohawked man says, his eyes scanning the room.
"She's not in here."
Soap's eyes snap to Ghost's, the latter leaning back in his chair.
"How's your head?"
Soap nods, looking down for a moment.
"M'not concussed, wasn't her hit that got me, it was the bounce against the floor."
Ghost only shrugs, "can't say you didn't deserve it."
Sighing, Soap leans against the doorframe.
"Are we really gonna do this, Lt?"
"You're the one standing in my office, Sergeant," he counters, crossing his arms over his chest.
They're quiet for a moment, and he knows Soap is going to speak his mind.
"Everything points to her. S'only reasonable."
"And that's reason enough to lie? To spew nothin' but bullshit through your teeth? To scare her? You were tryna get her to confess to something she didn't do to make things easier for you."
Soap steps into the office, his own anger rising.
"That's not true. I tried to do my job. You find out there's a rat, you see the pile of evidence, and any rational person would follow the trail. S'not my fault you're shaggin' the broad 'n now you can' think for your bloody self."
Ghost is on his feet before the man is finished speaking, stalking toward him.
"That's enough, MacTavish," He growls, glaring down at the man.
"You're dismissed. Get outta my office."
Clenching his jaw, Soap turns and leaves without another word.
Sighing, Ghost sits back down and puts his face in his hands.
He knew his teammates had their doubts, but he never realized how deep that distrust went.
After a moment, Simon glances up at the vent in his office where he knows you sat listening to the entire exchange.
"I'll fix this, Mouse. I promise," he whispers.
Flipping the folder open again, he pours himself back into it, reading over everything. Every name, every date, every location, and every piece of information that got leaked.
Finally, after what feels like hours, he finds a comonality other than you.
"Mouse? You still with me? Knock once for yes, twice for no."
He listens patiently, and eventually, you knock once on the vent.
"Perfect. Now, I want you to follow the sound of my feet, okay? We're leaving my office."
Again, one knock greets him.
He rises from his desk and leaves his office, walking slowly and making just enough noise for you to be able to follow him from your place in the ceiling.
He leads you this way and that, finally coming to a halt in a utility closet.
Pushing the ceiling tiles out of the way, he climbs up on a few boxes and sticks his head into the ceiling, his heart easing when he catches sight of you again.
"You okay?"
You nod, crawling toward him.
"Come down here."
You obey, slowly climbing out of the hole in the ceiling and gasping when his strong arms wrap around you.
He holds you in an embrace far longer than he normally does, then tilts your chin up and presses a firm kiss to your lips.
"I think I've figured it out, little one. But I need something from you in order to prove it."
You nod eagerly, desperate to clear your name.
He sighs and nods once, then opens the door to the utility closet, looking both ways to make sure no one's around before motioning for you to follow him.
You do, staying only a half-step behind him as he leads you through a door and into a stairwell.
"This way."
You follow closely behind him as he leads you down a flight of stairs, looking around as much as you can as you try to figure out what his plan is, where he's taking you.
Finally, he leads you down another hallway and stops just outside of a door.
He looks at you, his eyes suddenly serious, far more serious than you've ever seen them, and you can't help the nervousness that chews at you.
You pick at the skin around your nails absentmindedly as he places a hand on your cheek, cupping it gently.
"'M'gonna ask you to do somethin'... somethin' that I know you're not gonna wanna do. But I just... I need you to trust me on this, okay?"
Your brows pull together at his words.
"Okay..."
"Do you trust me?" He asks his free hand on the door handle.
He doesn't open it. He needs you to confirm out loud to him and to yourself before he opens the door.
You nod, looking between him and the door anxiously.
He grips your chin more firmly and forces your eyes to stay on his.
"I need you to look at me when you say it. Do you trust me?"
Your stomach flips and you need to wet your lips before speaking. Your skin crawls at this, at the intensity of his gaze, the unknown behind the door.
"I do. I trust you," you finally confirm.
He lets out an audible breath of relief, and then he's pushing open the door and your heart is falling into your stomach.
Immediately, you shake your head and take a step back, only for him to catch you and halt you in your tracks.
"No."
Simons sighs, tugging you forward gently. "Mouse, please."
You shake your head more firmly this time.
"No," you repeat, "I-I can't. I won't. No more cage."
Simon looks over to the holding cells with a heavy heart, then pulls his eyes back to yours.
"I know. But this... this is the only way. You need to trust me."
You yank free from his grip and take a step away from him as tears cloud your vision.
"I-I didn't do it. Why do you bring me here?"
You look at the cells then back to his eyes and shake your head once more. You thought you could trust him. You thought he trusted you.
"Please, Simon..."
He reaches for you, tries to pull you into an embrace, only for you to step away once more.
Where you'll go, you have no idea. You just know that you can't... you won't go back in a cage.
"Mouse, I promise you. Three days is all I need. And then I'll come let you out and you'll never have to look at this place again. I swear it."
"No."
He sighs, rubbing a hand over his forehead. He doesn't want to do this to you. If he could prove your innocence without this, he would. But he knows his team, his captain. He knows what it'll take to get the truth out.
"If we don't do this, they're gonna gas the building with you inside, and you'll die."
Your fiery gaze finally returns to his and for a moment he wishes it didn't.
"I'd rather die than go back in cage."
His heart cracks in his chest.
"Please, Mouse. For me. Please. Trust me, just this once."
Your bottom lip quivers as you stare at the cell, eyes getting distant as horrible memories of a past you long to forget creep up on you.
Finally, you suck in a sharp breath and turn to look at him again.
"Three days?"
He nods immediately, his shoulders relaxing while his eyes soften.
"Yes. Three days at most, I promise. I swear, on the memory of my nephew, three days."
Reluctantly, you walk forward, looking at every cell before stepping into the one in the corner. The largest and the darkest.
Your shoulders are tight by your ears as you look around.
It has a thin mattress on the ground and a toilet in the corner. Over half the cell is shrouded in darkness, and the other half is in direct view of the door.
It's bigger than the cage you grew up in, but the sick feeling doesn't leave your stomach as your freedom is brutally ripped from you once again.
Simon squeezes his eyes shut as he closes the door behind you, his heart hurting.
Knowing what he does about you, about your past, this feels like the ultimate betrayal. Arguably one of the worst things he could put you through.
But he needs to.
You flinch at the sound of the lock clicking, not turning to face him even as tears start to trickle down your cheeks.
"Mouse..."
You shake your head, wrapping your arms around yourself in a pathetic attempt at comfort.
"Go," you whisper.
You don't want him here, watching you like some caged dog.
His hands wrap around the bars of your cell as he tries to get you to understand.
"It's not permanent, I swear."
"Go!" You snarl, a hiccuped sob following your words.
And just like that, the floodgates open.
You press your hand to your mouth to muffle the sound, but you can't hide the shake of your shoulders, the way you curl in on yourself.
It breaks his heart.
Silently, he takes a step back, then another, and another, pausing when he reaches the door.
"I'll be back for you. I promise."
~*~
Somewhere, somehow, between blinks, you fall asleep.
One moment you're closing your eyes to blink, the next you're waking up groggy and stiff.
Ghost stands at the door to your cell, a tray of food and a bottle of water in hand.
He needs to swallow the lump in his throat before he speaks, his heart breaking seeing you like this.
"I brought you food... thought you could use some company."
You're curled up in a ball in the corner of the cell, eyes teary and red as you glare at him.
He put you here.
It kills what's left of his soul to see you like this.
"Things are coming together, won't be much longer now, I promise."
You say nothing, only keep your icy cold glare focused on him as he sets the food down and slides it through the opening at the base of your cell.
The sound of your sniffles plagues him, and he wishes none of this happened in the first place.
He watches you for a moment longer, his eyes sad, before turning and leaving you alone once again.
When he finds out who's framing you, he's going to have his fun with them.
You're alone for only a few moments before the panic sets in once more.
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you struggle to suck in short gasps of oxygen, nails scratching at your neck as you search desperately for your necklace, for the one item that's ever made you feel safe.
Tears run like rivers down your cheeks and you moan out your sorrows.
What would your mother think if she saw you?
She sacrificed everything, everything, for you to leave one cage only for you to willingly walk into another.
You shake your head at yourself, at your foolishness.
This was probably their plan all along. They probably know your father, they've probably gone to get him.
Scrambling to the tray of food, you grab the knife and desperately try to pry at the lock of your cell. When that proves fruitless, you jam the blade into the hinges, sobbing hopelessly.
The knife slides against the metal and finds its way to your thigh, slicing you nice and deep.
You hiss at the pain and drop the blade, stumbling backward then sliding down the wall.
It's useless. There's no escaping.
You start to feel dizzy as your thoughts overwhelm you, and before you know it you're whispering soft apologies and prayers in your mother tongue. Begging for peace, for freedom.
As you whisper the words, something dawns on you.
From the moment of your birth, you were promised nothing but pain. And life was only too eager to oblige; bestowing upon you torment after torment, loss after brutal loss.
Until finally, you broke free. You found your salvation, your Ghost, only for him to be another painful reminder that freedom is not something you were ever meant to taste.
~*~
Price meets Ghost in the boardroom at a ripe 0500hrs the following day, a steaming cup of coffee in a paper cup held tightly in his grasp.
Soap follows shortly after, on high alert.
Gaz trickles in last, the least tense of the three and possibly the most innocent in Ghost's eyes.
"So?" Price asks, looking around the empty room.
"Where's my rat?"
As if on cue, there's a firm knock on the door.
Ghost slaps the tablet he was holding against Price's chest and makes his way to the furthest corner of the room, content to spectate.
"Come in," Price says gruffly, eyes dropping down to the tablet in his hands.
His brows draw together, and then he's looking up at the newcomer.
"Corporal Matthews."
The young man salutes his superiors, then steps into the room, looking around curiously.
"What's going on?"
Price has already pieced it together, giving a short nod to the masked man in the corner.
"Why don't you tell me?"
Gaz and Soap exchange glances, the former shutting the door and leaning against it, blocking any form of escape.
The Corporal chuckles nervously and looks between the three men before swallowing hard when Price steps forward.
"So... you think it's funny what you've been doing? Care to explain to me what exactly you find so fucking funny about this?"
Soap clenches his jaw, dread bubbling in his stomach.
A sick part of him hopes Ghost is wrong, that Matthews isn't the rat, if only to absolve him of the guilt he's sure will eat him alive after all he did to you. All he said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Enough with that, son. We know it was you. Don't make this more difficult than it already is," Price whispers. In his eyes is none of the anger that was there when he spoke to you. No, instead there's nothing but disappointment.
Simon's anger will be enough to cover the whole team, and then some.
"Well, what about the Lieutenant's whore? Huh?" Matthews defends, glaring at the men. They bristle at the words, eyes darting to the hulking man hiding in the shadows in the corner.
"Funny how you knew exactly what we were talkin' about," Soap says, stepping forward and squaring up with the man.
So it's true. He was wrong about you. And he has no idea what he's going to do to fix it.
Price hands the tablet to Matthews and watches as realization dawns on him slowly.
On the screen is live video footage of the holding cells where a familiar mouse is curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth.
"She's been in there for days. This latest leak? Happened last night. Couldn't've been her. We set you up, and you took the bloody bait."
"Well it's her fault anyway!" Matthews suddenly explodes, tossing the tablet onto the table angrily.
"If she wasn't fuckin' the Lieutenant then Jacobs would still be alive! If he didn't have his face in her snatch every night, he'd see that she's a fuckin problem!"
Silence hangs heavily in the room for a long moment as Ghost rises to his feet and slowly approaches the other man.
"You wanna tell 'im that?" Price asks, nodding over the Corporal's shoulder.
He glances back then does a double take, spinning around and backing up only to run right into Soap.
Ghost stops right in front of him, glaring down at the man.
Corporal Matthews tries to hold his ground, to not be intimidated by the huge man in front of him, but he's seen firsthand what this man -this beast- is capable of.
"Didn't get to have my fun with Jacobs, prick died quick. But you can bet 'm'gonna take my time with you."
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon x reader#simon riley#simon#simon ghost riley#ghost and mouse#ghost/reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader angst#ghost x reader angst#mouse and ghost
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zhongrin © 2024 ❥ do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or feed into ai.
i'm tired, darling.
featuring... ❥ zhongli, al haitham, jing yuan, blade
involves... ❥ hurt/comfort(-ish), implied self-harm, suicidal thoughts/behavior, probably incoherent, not proofread
through the thousands years of his life, through the plethora of sounds that could bring both fear and sadness to the god of stone’s heart, one stands out most; and he is forced to relive this moment as his ears picked up your heart-wrenching wail and loud sobs from the bedroom. he pays no mind to the clatter of his shoes nor the crumple of his signature coat to the floor, missing its intended place at the coat hanger. all he knows is that you’re in pain — his mate is in pain.
zhongli finds you curled in your nest, trembling and buying your head into your favorite pillow. his chest tightens when you peek at him, and he sees the rain of tears staining your cheeks, eyelashes matted and lips quivering. a variety of emotions wells inside him, but he’s sure it’s nowhere near intense as what you’re experiencing right now.
“darling…,” your husband whispers, stepping closer slowly, reaching forward cautiously like he’s approaching a wounded animal, “can i come closer?”
you can’t seem to reply, busy hiccuping and teetering the edges of hyperventilating. wilting and rotting like a flower that’s been rained for far too long. struggling to stay alive, and yet the petals are falling, the leaves crushed, the thin stem drooping.
your skin is marred, and in turn a pained frown mar his face. his gloves are taken off haphazardly, and they gently settle on your back, trying to rub soothing patterns. he knows not to speak, yet he makes sure you won’t be in further danger for yourself.
it’s a slow process, for you to unlatch yourself from the pillow and delve into his embrace instead. but when you finally do after a series of patient coaxing and comforting touches, he holds you tighter.
just hold on, please just hold on. his warm hand cradles your nape, reassuring and solid, while the other squeezes against the flesh of your back. this too shall pass. his lips press against your shoulder; reverent, loving, apologetic. i love you.
for a man who has his way with words, there are just as many unspoken words in each of his silent actions. he can only hope it's enough to tide you for tonight. at least for tonight.
“everything hurts.”
“i don’t know what's wrong.”
“i’m so tired.”
there are many things al haitham knows the answer to. those that he doesn't would normally require some deep research, but at the end of the day he comes out a renewed man who could potentially give a few presentations about said topic if he so wished. but matters of the heart are notoriously fickle, complicated, and perhaps ironically beyond human understanding.
“i don’t know how you can help. i don't know how to even help myself.”
all he can do is hold you, and he is plunged into the enlightening pit that is the realization about the powerlessness of a mortal, as he feels the shaking of your body within his arms. the sharp mind he is often praised and insulted for and the body he trains daily for precautions are useless against this intangible enemy.
what was he to say? “it’s okay”? when he couldn’t guarantee that it would be? “you’ll be okay”? wouldn’t that imply you should have the capability to make yourself okay? “it’ll get better”? wouldn’t it be overly optimistic and naive to believe the world will just somehow align itself to pave a path of flowers for you?
too many uncertainties. too lacking of valid evidences to support his case. broken and as worn out as you may be, you are not a fool, and such is a trait that he will continue to adore about you. the treatment as an equal is what you deserve, even when you’re in your lowest moment.
so he settles with something he knows will be factually true and has a complete control over:
“i’m always here for you.”
everyone equates silence to peace, yet often fails to account silence as suffering.
centuries of living, and jing yuan too manages to make the same mistake. there’s something haunting about the way you lay on your shared bed today. and now that he thinks about it more, yesterday… and the days before, too. something unnatural in your smiles, in the way it slips far too quickly and the way you always close your eyes, as if to hide something. the way you keep your nails short, the nail clipper making itself home on your nightstand and used every morning and every night, almost in desperation. the nights where he would fall asleep to your snore are quiet: the room listens to his breaths and the tranquil chirps of the cicadas outside.
silence.
silence.
silence.
silence.
“darling, something’s wrong, and you’re not telling me.”
you look at him like you’re tired of life itself, and his heart freezes. in a second, he drops onto the bed and cups your cheek. by now you should have berated him not to wear his work clothes and climb onto bed with them, and yet all he’s met with is
silence.
and a shaky breath, before you finally speak, soft and uncertain and numb.
“why can’t it all just end, yuan?”
he can give you a hundred reasons. because it means he won’t be able to see you smile anymore. because it means he won’t be able to make you laugh. because it means he won’t be able to kiss you, make love to you, treat you like the priceless treasure…
… that he has utterly failed to do.
“i’m sorry, darling. i was ignorant. when did this start?” he pleads. the man commanding an entire ship that may as well be a nation in itself grovels willingly before you, his hand cradling yours before bringing it up to his lips. your knight nuzzles your palm, observes the way your eyes turns glassy, a tear slowly sliding down your temple onto the halo of your hair.
“let’s end this silence and talk to me…. please?”
“countless times. countless. times…,” his breath shudders, jaw clenching before his lips reopen, “… you tell me, again and again, to be careful with my body. and yet i come back to see this…”
blade’s breath hitches, and perhaps a stab to the heart would be less painful than the way his body seizes up with hurt at the way you promptly apologize, with those godforsaken tears continuing to make a stream of sadness stain your cheeks.
he’s always seen you as a tempered steel, resilient and sharp, yet comforting and reassuring. the star to his night, illuminating and guiding. the sun in his orbit, ever present and shining so brightly.
he forgets that even the strongest blades, too, can break. that any stars can disappear in an instant by a supernova. that a sun continuously burns itself just to shine and will one day, too, burn out like a fizzling candle.
your voice is as cracked as the weapon he wields and it cuts deeper into the scarred remains of his cursed heart. he swallows thickly, yet the lump in his throat refuses to cease. rough hands tightening before his arms bring you into a painful embrace. just like the way you hold him whenever the nightmares visit. he tries to wipe your crystalline tears with his fingers, watches sorrowfully as your swollen eyes glazes and the whites of your eyes fills with red lines. the grief you experience is harrowing, and he wonders if this is how you feel whenever you see him suffer: powerless, bleak, tortured.
“don’t cry.” would it truly suffice to just hold you like this?
“don’t cry.” would it be better to kill everything you’ve ever interacted with so you won’t be hurt further?
“don’t cry.” would it be better to remove himself from your life…?
“i’ll give you everything,” he finds his own voice break, “everything… so please stop crying.”
#genshin x reader#hsr x reader#zhongli x reader#al haitham x reader#jing yuan x reader#blade x reader#zhongli#al haitham#jing yuan#blade#rin writes#genshin impact x reader#honkai star rail x reader
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crampy | k.s.
summary: when your period come suddenly and you have to cancel plans, seungmin is there to help you through the pain.
wc: 1.5k
warnings: descriptions of period cramps, crying, seungmin being a mushy bean for his partner, i think this is p much gn!reader besides the period but please let me know if i missed anything!!
a/n: happy birthday mong mong!! a self indulgent fic but for my favorite puppy <33 i hope you all enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3
my library | fundraiser
(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)
you didn’t know what else to do.
you’ve tried every trick you could think of but nothing would stop the searing pain in your pelvis. every month without fail you were bed ridden for at least 2 days, curled up in pain, unable to move.
you’re starving with simultaneously no appetite because of the pain. however this time felt worse, this time you were supposed to go out with seungmin and the rest of his members but everytime you moved you were immediately met with pain.
cutting your losses you just curled up with your heating pad and grabbed your phone. you send seungmin a quick text telling him you couldn’t make it and to tell the boys you were sorry.
after that another cramp hit, it felt like someone had grabbed your insides and squeezed as hard as they could. you let out a yelp as the pain only worsened, sobbing out in pure agony.
you were mostly crying because of the pain but you also felt horrible for canceling on your boyfriend and his friends. the pain mixing with the guilt only made you sob harder.
unbeknownst to you, seungmin was on his way to your place, something about your text sounded off. he didn’t know what it was but something in his gut told him he needed to go to you, so he did.
once he opened the door he was met with the sounds of your cries. alarm bells immediately went off in his head as he quickly locked the door, tossing his shoes and bag to the side, running to your room.
he found you curled in a ball, facing the door, eyes closed as heartbreaking sobs leave your mouth. he quickly made his way to your bed, kneeling on the floor in front of you before placing a hand on your shoulder.
you gasp in surprise, eyes wide as they shoot open. “it’s just me, it’s just me, i’m sorry.” he quickly says, holding his hands up in surrender.
once your brain registers the familiar man in front of you, you feel the lump form in your throat once more. your hands come up to cover your face as the tears flow down your cheeks.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry” you sob, your breathing choppy as you speak. “hey, hey,” he says softly, moving your hands with one, gently wiping your tears with the other.
“it’s okay pup, what’s going on hm?” your lip wobbles once again, reminded of the pain. “i- ah!“ you start, just in time for another wave of pain. you curl into yourself, bringing your arm to press the hot pad even further onto your skin.
“okay, i understand bubs,” he moves to sit on your bed, placing one arm over the one on your stomach, the other on your head, softly stroking your forehead. he places a kiss to your temple, shushing you softly, “it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe pup, breathe.”
you take shakey deep breath, exhaling after a few seconds. you both sit there for a while, letting your breath even out before either of you spoke. “i’m sorry.” you whimper, pulling away to look at him.
your bottom lip jutting out as a fresh wave of tears rolls down your face. he places a hand on your cheek, gently brushing away the fresh tears, shushing you. “stop apologizing bub,” he leans down, placing a kiss to your hair. “you have nothing to be sorry for.” you shake your head, new tears following the old.
“i got my period, and it’s really bad and i was trying to suck it up and come i promise but it was really fucking bad seung, it just-“ you were rambling and losing your breath, starting to hyperventilate.
“sh, sh, it’s okay pup, breathe,” he leans back slightly, “scoot over a bit.” he gently requests, making sure the heating pad stayed on your abdomen.
once a little space was created, he slides into your bed, pulling you into him. “okay, my bub, just relax, everything’s okay, no one’s upset, okay?” you sniffle, catching your breath a bit. “promise?” your voice small as you ask.
“i promise, we were all just concerned, and wanted to make sure you were okay.” he reassures, rubbing soothing circles on your back. you nod, turning into his chest, melting into him, just crying for a few minutes until you felt better.
you shift, laying your face against his chest as he continues rubbing your back. “did you take medicine or eat?” you shake your head, drawing figures on his tummy.
“do you have medicine?” you nod your head, pointing to the bathroom. “in the medicine cabinet, second shelf to the left.” he nods, placing a kiss to your head before standing. “i’ll
be quick.” he whispers, quickly making his way to the attached room.
he comes back out holding the familiar bottle, placing it on your bedside table. he pulls out his phone before smoothly moving back to his previous spot. “okay i’m gonna order us some ramen so you can eat and then take some medicine, how does that sound hm?” he asks, already opening his delivery app.
if you had any more tears left you’d be sobbing again but you’re fresh out. instead you nod, placing a kiss to his peck, “thank you pup.” you whisper cuddling back into him.
he smiles looking down at you before placing a kiss to your hair once more. “anything for you bubs.” he goes back to
work, ordering his ramen and your usual before placing his phone down, snuggling into you.
“once the ramen comes and you eat a bit i’ll give you some medicine, but when we finish eating do you wanna sleep or take a bath?” you think about it for a moment before coming to a decision.
“sleep, i’m exhausted.” he nods, rubbing your arm, “okay we can do that, and then if you want a bath when you wake up we can do that too okay?” you nod before turning your head, placing a kiss to this peck.
“thank you baby, i don’t know what i’d do without you.” you wrap your arms around him, wincing as another cramp spreads pain through your body. “ah.” you cry, shoving your face back into his chest.
he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him, “okay bubs, i ordered it so hopefully it’ll be here soon and then you can eat take medicine and go to sleep.”
you nod, pressing your face further into him, trying to calm yourself. he starts humming, hoping to put you at ease with his voice. once he feels you relaxing into him he starts singing softly, letting you focus on his voice rather than the pain.
you ended up falling asleep before the food comes, waking up to see a dim light and seungmin bringing in the food. he sets it on the table before looking over seeing you smiling sleepily at him.
“hi bubs, you ready to eat?” he asks as he sits on the bed next to you, carefully brushing your hair out of your face. you nod, sitting up carefully as he prepares your ramen on the table next to your bed.
once you were sitting up, he hands you the bowl, “careful, it’s hot.” you nod, carefully taking the bowl before he grabs a pillow, making sure the heating pad is placed properly before placing the pillow on your lap.
“thank you, bubba.” you smile to him, before he leans down to place a soft kiss to your lips. “you’re welcome, pup.” he says against your lips before sitting down, handing you your chopsticks.
he makes his ramen as well and both of you eat in silence. once finished he grabs your trash putting it in the take out bag it came in, leaving to put it in the trash.
he comes back with two bottles of water, placing them both on the table before opening the bottle of medicine, handing you 2 pills. he places them in your hand, opening one of the waters, handing that to you as you place the pills in your mouth.
you take a gulp of water, swallowing the medicine before taking a couple extra sips before handing the bottle back to him. “thank you.” you whisper, scooting over to give him more room as he places the bottle down.
“you’re welcome, bubs.” he says, leaning over to place a kiss on your head. he quickly gets up to turn off the light before climbing into bed with you. he opens his arms, allowing you to lay against him.
once in his arms, he wraps them around you, kissing your face all over. you giggle as he does this before eventually he stops, not wanting to make your cramps worse. you relax into him, melting further into his embrace.
“is you heating pad okay?” you nod against him, a yawn leaving your lips. “good, sweet dreams pup, i love you.” he whispers, placing one last kiss to your head. “good night bubba, love you too.” you mumble before both of you drift off into each other’s arms.
do not repost or edit
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SEUNGMIN X READER
a/n: angst, happy ending
Seungmin agrees to prank you with Lee Know and Hyunjin, buy he doesn’t know you suffer of very bad panic attacks.
˚୨୧⋆。♡˚⋆
Halloween nights had always been exciting for your boyfriend, but you were not quite sure about it. You weren’t a big fan of scary things, but your boyfriend, Seungmin, insisted on watching a horror movie together, making it seem like the perfect cozy night in. He wrapped you in a blanket, your head resting on his shoulder, as the flickering screen lit up the dark room. You trusted him, and having him next to you gave you a sense of security, despite your anxiety about the movie.
You didn’t know what was coming.
Unbeknownst to you, Hyunjin and Lee Know had a plan in mind—a Halloween prank to scare you while you were watching the movie. Seungmin knew about it, and though he was initially hesitant, he eventually agreed, thinking it would be harmless fun. He had no idea how intense your reaction would be.
The movie was creeping toward a particularly terrifying scene, tension building in every corner of the dark room. You clutched Seungmin’s hand tighter, feeling the anxiety rise in your chest. Just as the atmosphere on screen grew ominous, the sound of footsteps echoed down the hall, followed by loud banging on the door.
Your heart leapt into your throat, and suddenly, Hyunjin and Lee Know burst into the room, wearing terrifying masks, screaming at the top of their lungs.
Your mind blanked. The fear that rushed through your veins overwhelmed you. It wasn’t just a scare—it was real, tangible terror. A deep, uncontrollable panic clawed at your chest, constricting your breathing. You gasped for air but found none, your vision blurring as your body went cold. A wave of dizziness hit you, and you collapsed onto the couch, trembling violently, tears streaming down your face.
Seungmin turned to you, his playful grin disappearing the moment he saw your expression.
“Y/N?” he called, panic in his voice as he reached for you.
But you were already retreating inside yourself, shaking uncontrollably. The fear was too much. Your breath came in ragged, uneven gasps, and before you knew it, you were hyperventilating.
Hyunjin and Lee Know, realizing what had happened, stood frozen in horror.
“Y/N, Y/N! Breathe, please!” Seungmin urged, his voice cracking as he tried to soothe you. But nothing he said could reach you through the thick fog of panic suffocating your mind.
Through the tears blurring your vision, you looked at him, the person you trusted most, and the hurt in your voice cut him to his core.
“You… you knew about this?” you rasped, your voice trembling. “And you agreed with it?!”
The betrayal in your eyes shattered him. Seungmin shook his head, scrambling to explain, but his words felt like they were crumbling in the weight of the moment. “I—I didn’t know you would react like this, Y/N, I swear! I didn’t expect—”
But you weren’t listening. You couldn’t. You couldn’t process anything through the whirlwind of emotions suffocating you.
You shot up from the couch, stumbling toward the bathroom. “I can’t… I need space,” you choked out between sobs, barely able to breathe.
Seungmin stood there, stunned, as the door slammed shut. He wanted to follow you, to fix things, but knew you needed time. He cursed under his breath, turning toward Hyunjin and Lee Know, who were standing there, pale and shaken.
“We didn’t mean for that to happen,” Hyunjin whispered, guilt etched across his face. Lee Know looked just as remorseful, biting his lip as he fidgeted with his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” Seungmin muttered, though the apology felt hollow, useless.
Lee Know nodded quietly. “We should go. We’ll apologize tomorrow,” he said, voice low, before the two of them left, leaving Seungmin alone in the aftermath of their prank.
Seungmin walked to the bathroom door, resting his head against it. “Y/N… I’m so sorry,” he called softly. “I never wanted to hurt you. I’ll sleep on the couch, okay? Please, just… come out whenever you’re ready.”
But the only response he received was silence.
After what felt like an eternity, Seungmin sank down to the floor by the couch, curling into himself. The room was too quiet now, and the guilt in his chest only grew heavier with every minute that passed. He hated himself for going along with the prank, for not understanding how deeply it would affect you.
Time slipped by, and exhaustion weighed down on him. Eventually, sleep overtook him, though it was far from peaceful.
You finally emerged from the bathroom an hour later, your heart still heavy, but your panic subsiding into a dull ache. As you stepped into the dimly lit living room, your eyes softened when you saw Seungmin. He wasn’t on the couch as he’d said he’d be—instead, he was curled up on the floor, his face tucked into his arms.
Your chest tightened, and a flood of emotions hit you. Despite how upset you were, seeing him there, so broken, tugged at your heart. He didn’t mean to hurt you. You knew that. But it still hurt.
You knelt down beside him, gently shaking his shoulder. “Seungmin,” you whispered, your voice soft but hoarse from crying.
He stirred, blinking his eyes open, confusion flashing across his face before it quickly turned to concern. “Y/N… I’m so sorry,” he started immediately, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I didn’t know it would be that bad. I should’ve never agreed to it, and I—”
You held up your hand, shaking your head. “Seungmin, stop. I know… I know you didn’t mean for it to get that bad. I just… I got scared. I wasn’t expecting it, and it felt like too much.”
“I feel terrible, Y/N,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “I’ll sleep on the couch, I don’t want to—”
You stopped him again, standing up and shaking your head. “No… it’s fine. I just need to sleep.”
Without another word, you climbed into bed, pulling the blankets around yourself. Seungmin sighed softly and, as promised, settled on the couch, his body still heavy with regret.
In the middle of the night, a nightmare ripped you out of sleep. Your body jerked, heart racing again, but this time, it wasn’t from a prank. It was the lingering fear, the residual panic. And as much as you wanted to handle it alone, you couldn’t.
There was only one person who could make it better.
You got out of bed, making your way toward the couch, where Seungmin was sound asleep. You gently shook him awake, and his eyes opened in an instant.
“Y/N?” he asked, still groggy, but concern quickly replacing his confusion.
“I had a nightmare,” you whispered, your voice small and fragile. “I… I need you.”
Seungmin sat up, his heart breaking at how vulnerable you looked. Without hesitation, he opened his arms, and you fell into them, burying your face in his chest. He held you close, gently rubbing your back, whispering soft reassurances.
“I’m here,” he murmured. “I’ll always be here. I’m so sorry for what happened. I should’ve protected you.”
You took a shaky breath, pulling back to look at him. “I was upset because I trusted you, Seungmin. I didn’t expect you to agree to something like that.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I was stupid. I didn’t think. I’ll never do anything like that again. I promise.”
For a long moment, you just looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes breaking through the walls you had built up since the prank. Finally, you nodded, resting your head back against his chest.
“I forgive you,” you whispered, feeling the tension in your chest ease just a little.
Seungmin held you tighter, relief washing over him. “Thank you, Y/N. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
And in that moment, despite everything, you believed him.
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I Need You | Part 4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Author’s Note: I can't thank you guys enough for reading my writing. I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this part <3
Summary: You were saved but you still have so many questions. Trying to sort everything out might be harder than it seems.
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Talks of torture, self hatred, angst, let me know if I need to add any others :)
"I've healed her as much as I can. Now she needs rest." you heard Madja speak
Darkness.
"I failed her, Rhys" you heard Cassian cry softly
Darkness.
"Thank you for saving her" you heard Feyre gently speak
Darkness.
"I forgot about her, then let Elain convince me to stay for longer. Let her convince me that y/n would be ok waiting a little bit longer for me." Azriel yelled
Well, that explains why he didn't show up.
"She's awake" Rhys stated
Both of the Illyrian males hurried over to you.
"Hey sunshine, how are you feeling" Your High Lord and good friend smiled softly down at you
"I'm fine" you whispered, voice hoarse from all the screaming you had been doing
Rhys hesitated, clearly knowing you were not fine. He didn't want to push you but he couldn't leave you alone after everything that just happened.
"Cassian told me most of what happened but there are certain parts he can't fill in. I don't want you to have to relive it but it might help us figure out why you were their target" he spoke so softly, as if speaking too loud would break you
Once he asked to see, it all hit you. The questions about Nyx, so many questions about him, you started to panic. Tears filled your eyes. He needed to know, he needed to understand that you didn't tell your torturers anything. You started hyperventilating, panicking, you had to let him know you were strong enough to withstand the pain.
"Rhys I promise I never broke. I never told them anything. No matter how much they hurt me, I swear. They asked so many times but I never broke, I swear I promise I was strong-" your sobs cut you off and Rhys bent down and pulled you into a tight hug.
"Shh I know. You did so well, please don't worry about any of that" he spoke into your neck, his own tears now pouring down his face.
You couldn't control yourself. Still terrified of saying, doing the wrong thing. You were shaking and crying hysterically. You knew they needed to see what you were tortured over so you sent the thought out hoping Rhys would understand what you were doing. He knew immediately, standing up and giving you a small nod.
You showed him everything, still shaking and crying. Azriel reached out for you and you let him. You needed anything, anyone to anchor you. He wrapped his arms around you and you cried in his chest.
Azriel looked at Rhys and saw the pained look on his face as the scene was happening in his head. Once he saw it all, he ran out of the room muttering something about a sleep tonic. The shadowsinger held you even tighter as if he could put all the pieces of you back together.
"I'm so sorry, you needed me and I wasn't there. I'm so sorry, so so sorry...." He kept repeating. You wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, to help take away the guilt he was feeling but all you could think about was Cass repeating that same thing in the dungeon.
Just like that, the terror built up inside you. Your mind tricking you into thinking you were back in the chains being tortured. You started kicking and screaming, Azriel holding you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself.
"Rhys, you got that sleep tonic? Anytime now!" He shouted hoping his friend was coming
Moments later, Rhys winnowed in the room with Madja. Once she assessed the situation, she looked grim.
"Sleep tonics will not work, this is too severe. Move, boy." Madja spoke, pushing the spymaster away and setting her hands on you.
You started to settle and slowly fell asleep.
"This won't last long. I can only fix the physical pain or symptoms. Her mind tricked her body into thinking she was being tortured again. I eased that pain but it will take a lot more to ease the pain inside her," the healer looked at them with sorrow, "I'm sorry but this is as much as I can do for her."
Azriel immediately sat in the chair next to your bed, holding your hand with both of his. Rhys patted him on the back and left to try and figure more out.
You slept for 2 straight days, with Az never leaving your side. He couldn't believe he let this happen. You were his best friend, and more than that he had always been in love with you. After everything with Mor, he couldn't risk getting hurt again or losing you so he pushed his feelings away. It was the most painful thing he had done and once Elain came along he thought it would be easier to keep himself wrapped up in her.
He deeply regretted that now. You would hate him now. He forgot about you, left you there alone. He wouldn't be surprised if you never spoke to him again.
Lucien slowly entered the room, "How is she?" he asked Azriel
"Not great but she'll get there... thank you," his voice broke, "I haven't gotten a chance to tell you yet, thank you for saving her"
Lucien nodded at the male, a solemn look upon his face, "She didn't deserve any of this. I knew you and Elain had been spending time together and it pissed me off. She's my mate, but I knew she wanted you and not me, so I suffered in silence because I thought I deserved it..." he paused, "Y/n has always been kind to me. Accepted me the moment she saw me with Feyre. Offered her company when she knew Elain was away with you so I wouldn't have to be alone. She did not deserve any of this. She did not deserve to be pushed aside and forgotten."
Azriel stared at him, stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it not knowing what to say, opened it again, "...I-"
"Do not hurt her again." Lucien stated, cutting him off and walked out of the room with one last look at you.
His shadows swirled around him, covering his neck to comfort him. They had been all over you for the most part. Wrapped around your arms and legs or nuzzled in your hair. After a while they whispered to him, she's waking up.
Your eyes slowly opened and the male at your side quickly stood to grab you some water. He helped you sit up in the bed against the wall and you both sat in silence for a while. You could tell he hadn't been sleeping, the bags under his eyes were the worst they had ever been.
"Sunshine" Az said, and it made you flinch.
You felt like your soul was the darkest its ever been. You weren't sunshine, you were storms and pain. You felt disgusted with yourself, hated yourself for being caught so easily. For allowing Cassian to be taken and have to witness everything. You hated yourself for causing everyone so much trouble and pain. You wished you died in that dungeon.
Cassian, Rhys, and Feyre all walked in. Feyre had a kind, hesitant smile, Rhys looked relieved that you were awake and not freaking out, and Cassian wouldn't even look at you. You assumed he was probably upset with you for dragging him into this and getting him tortured.
"Do you know why they picked me?" you asked quickly, so you wouldn't have to keep seeing their sad looks
"We're still not entirely sure. We know they were trying to find out things about Nyx but they could have taken any one of us for that." Feyre stated
"Maybe they thought I was the weakest and easiest to get answers out of?" you guessed.
"No, it felt very personal towards you y/n. It was like he hated you, don't get me wrong, he enjoyed beating me up but he was ecstatic to hurt you" Cassian spoke, still avoiding eye contact
"How did Lucien even find us?" you asked
"All he said was that Eris sent him a location and told him he needed to get there right away but that no one could see him there. Once he got there, he heard your screams and ran to save you. We've been trying to contact Eris but he hasn't responded." Rhys spoke
"I'm going to find whoever did this, and I'm going to slowly tear them to shreds" Azriel growled softly, still holding your hand.
"I don't understand what I did wrong-" you voice wavered and there it was. The look everyone was giving you made you feel sick. They knew you were broken now, you couldn't hide it anymore. You coughed to try and cover up the weakness in your voice.
"But we'll figure it out and I'll be ok. We'll all be ok. Now, I'm starving so I would love to join you guys for a meal tonight." You tried to smile at them. You needed them to think you were fine, that you were strong. They didn't need a weak link in their group. The last thing you wanted to do was eat but you figured that might convince them you were all good.
The four of them stared at you as if you grew a third eye on your head.
"Maybe you should take it easy, I can bring some food to you" Azriel suggested.
"Yeah that would be easier" the rest of them agreed.
"C'mon guys seriously, I'm fine. Give me a couple minutes to get dressed and I'll head down. I can try to help figure out what this is all about before we eat." you said weakly
"No. You are staying up here and resting. If you are hungry, one of us will get you food." Rhys commanded in a tone that left no room for negotiation.
"Is that an order from my High Lord or an order from my boss" you asked harshly
"It's an order from your friend." he softly stated, "let us know if you need anything"
The three of them left but Az stayed at your side. You didn't want to be alone but you also didn't want anyone to see you fall apart, which was about to happen any minute.
"Az, can you give me some time alone? I just need to think" you felt bad but you needed to be strong
Azriel gave you a sad smile, nodded, and headed for the door. The second it clicked shut, your facade fell apart. You began softly crying, you laid there all night like that until you finally cried yourself to sleep.
You didn't see the lone shadow in the corner of your room watching over you, and you didn't know Azriel slept outside your room on the floor all night long just in case you needed him.
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