#so. my bad for romancing a character i only found interesting in the games he isnt romancable in and making up a fun version in my head tbf

[kirkwallguy]

honestly out of all the ways they stepped back from past games i think the lack of romance cameos is the one that made the most sense to me. bull would've been impossible to recreate and people would have lost their minds over it, cassandra's nevarran accent would've stuck out because nobody else in nevarra sounds like her, cullen's va is blacklisted from bioware forever. if it was an all or nothing choice i'm glad they chose nothing rather than attempting to do something they would definitely not have done well. i still think it's crazy they didn't include josie though.

[harrysfolklore]

misunderstood hero with a heart of gold - mv1

summary: max verstappen has never been one to read books, but everything changes when he comes across a pretty booktuber who describes him better than anyone else did before

word count: 8.2k + social media posts

folkie radio: another one of my babies finally sees the light of day 🥹 this fic is really special and i was lowkey gatekeeping it but i feel ready to share it, plss take care of it <3 i hope you like it

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Max Verstappen was bored.

It was late and he was alone in his hotel room. He had a race the following day and he knew better than staying up late. His team was already on his ass for sim racing at ungodly hours of the night when he had a race, but nevertheless, he was bored and not sleepy yet.

He scrolled through his phone, not really paying attention to what popped up on his Instagram feed, Tiktok for you page or Twitter timeline.

After a few minutes, his finger landed on the YouTube app, one that he barely used if he was completely honest, but for some reason he never deleted it.

A bunch of videos showed up on his main page, most of them about F1, gaming, fitness or cats. He scrolled through the thumbnails absentmindedly until one title caught his eye: "Formula 1 Drivers as Romance Book Character Tropes."

Max had no idea how that video ended up in his suggestions page. He wasn't much of a reader—he had only read two books in his entire life, for crying out loud— but curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on the video.

The screen shifted to a bright and lively setup, where a young woman with vibrant energy and a contagious smile greeted her viewers. "Hey everyone! Welcome back to my channel. Today, we have a fun video where I'll be pairing Formula 1 drivers with romance book tropes!"

Max found himself smiling for some reason, he thought she was really engaging and funny — and really pretty—. He leaned back against his pillows, more intrigued by the second.

"As some of you might already know, books are not my only passion, I'm also a huge Formula 1 fan since I was a little kid thanks to my dad, so I thought it would be fun to do a little crossover of my two obsessions."

Max grinned again, finding himself oddly invested in this unexpected combination of romance literature and Formula 1. Or maybe just mesmerized by the pretty girl who was talking on his screen.

"Let's begin with Mercedes," she said, clapping her hands together, "Lewis Hamilton is definitely our 'Charming Prince Charming.' He's got the looks, the talent, and that air of royalty about him."

Max chuckled, thinking it was a fitting description for his rival.

"Now for George Russell," she continued, "I'm going with 'The Boy Next Door Who Grew Up Hot.' I mean, have you seen his glow-up?"

Max chuckled again, nodding in agreement. George had indeed transformed quite a bit since his Williams days.

"Moving on to Ferrari," she continued enthusiastically. Max wondered if that was her favorite team on the grid, "Charles Leclerc is our classic 'Childhood Best Friend You've Always Had a Crush On.' He's got that sweet, familiar charm, but with a spark that makes your heart race every time you see him."

Max raised an eyebrow, surprised by the change in description. He had to admit, it fit Charles quite well.

"And for Carlos Sainz," she paused dramatically, "he's either our 'Older Brother's Best Friend' or the 'Bad Guy Who's Mean to Everyone but His Sweetheart', just think about it, he's got that rugged exterior, but you just know he's a total sweetheart deep down."

Max laughed, realizing she had Carlos pegged perfectly. He watched with growing interest as she continued.

"Now, let's talk about McLaren," she said with a sparkle in her eye. "Lando Norris is our 'Adorkable Comedian Who Steals Your Heart.' He's funny, relatable, and has a way of making you fall for him before you even realize it," Max grinned at the description of his good friend, "And Oscar Piastri... he's 'The Shy Genius.' Quiet, reserved, but incredibly talented and intelligent. He might not be the loudest in the room, but he's someone you'd definitely want on your side."

Max nodded in agreement, thinking of how Oscar had impressed everyone since joining McLaren. She continued pairing each driver with a character trope, she described Daniel as the "Life of the Party with a Sensitive Soul," highlighting his infectious energy and hidden depths. Pierre was dubbed the "Resilient Underdog," emphasizing his ability to bounce back from setbacks. Yuki was described as the "Fiery Spitfire with a Soft Center" and Logan was labeled the "Rookie with Untapped Potential," suggesting a character arc of growth and discovery.

With each driver's description, Max's anticipation grew. He found himself eagerly awaiting his own characterization, both curious and slightly apprehensive about how the pretty girl with an obsession with books and Formula 1 would describe him.

When she finally got to Red Bull, he sat up a little straighter, his interest piqued.

"Now for Sergio Perez," she said, "he's our 'Loyal Wingman Who Deserves His Own Happy Ending.' Always there to support, but with a story of his own waiting to be told."

Max nodded, thinking it was a pretty accurate description of his teammate.

"And finally, saved the best for last," she said, her eyes twinkling, "we have Max Verstappen."

Max held his breath, oddly nervous about how this stranger would categorize him.

"Max is our 'Misunderstood Hero with a Heart of Gold,'" she said with a warm smile. "Often perceived as cold or distant, but actually deeply caring and protective of those close to him. He's the type who shows his love through actions rather than words."

Max felt his cheeks warm significantly. This description caught him completely off guard. It wasn't the usual 'aggressive driver' or 'arrogant champion' narrative he was used to hearing. Instead, it felt... true. Uncomfortably true. He wasn't sure how to feel about being seen so accurately by a stranger.

As the video ended after she said her goodbyes, Max found himself staring at his phone screen, replaying her words in his mind, his thumb hovering over the comment section. He had never left a comment on a YouTube video before, but something about this one compelled him to break that habit.

After a moment's hesitation, he tapped the comment box and began typing, Once he was done, he paused, reading over his words. It felt strange, almost vulnerable, to acknowledge her characterization of him. But there was also something liberating about it. He added a thumbs-up emoji at the end and hit 'Post' before he could second-guess himself.

As Max set his phone down and settled into bed, a small smile played on his lips. He had a important race the following day, but all he wanted to think and dream about was the pretty stranger who had somehow seen through his carefully crafted public persona.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by username1, username2 and 10,725 others

f1gossip “I went to bed early last night. Just listened to the team’s orders, you know?”

Max Verstappen for media day today, however he left a comment on a YouTube video around 2:46 am ���

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username1 HES SOOOOO

username2 the fact that he left a comment on a BOOKTUBER’S channel MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU DONT EVEN READ BOOKS 😭

username3 he looks so pretty tho

username4 MAX WE ALL SAW YOU

username5 max was actually checking which romance trope is him according to booktubers

username6 HES SO RANDOM

username7 max’s search history: lestappen as fictional couples

liked by username1, username2 and 102,438 others

ynreadsbooks in honor of max verstappen x3 world champion commenting on my latest video (which is insane to say out loud wtf) should i do another f1 themed video?? any suggestions?

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username1 YES QUEEN

username2 that max comment was so random but so real

username3 max verstappen, the man who has read two books in 27 years watching booktubers was not on my bingo card

username4 @/maxverstappen1 you favorite youtuber will do another video about you

username5 BOOKS WITH RACING THEMES

username6 books inspired by f1 circuits would be fun

username7 @/maxverstappen drop a suggestion

maxverstappen1 started following ynreadsbooks

liked by username1, username2 and 15,836 others

f1gossip Max Verstappen was seen outside of a bookshop in Monaco today !

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username1 BABYYYY

username2 max ??? bookshop ????

username3 WHAT SHIFTED

username4 he thought it was jimmyz

username5 HEELPP what is he doing there

username6 hello i work there. he arrived with a list of books in hand that he wanted, he bought around 15 action and fantasy books

↳ username1 FOR REAL???

↳ username2 max said book girl summer

↳ username3 this is so random

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If someone had told Max that this year he would spend his summer break reading, he would've laughed at their faces. Yet here he was, lounging by the pool in his Monaco house, a book in his hands and a smile on his face.

As he turned the page of "The Martian," the latest sci-fi recommendation from YN, Max couldn't help but reflect on how different this summer break was.

Usually, his days off were filled with lavish yacht parties, exclusive clubs, or intense training sessions and hours of sim racing to stay sharp for the second half of the season. But now, he found himself eagerly devouring books and spending hours chatting with YN about plots, characters, and everything in between.

As the weeks passed, Max found himself growing increasingly close to YN, despite never having met her in person. Their text conversations flowed effortlessly, ranging from in-depth discussions about the books they were reading to playful banter about racing and life in general.

Max was surprised by how much he enjoyed her company, even in this digital form. Her wit, intelligence, and genuine interest in his thoughts beyond his racing persona were refreshing. He found himself sharing things he rarely discussed with others, and looking forward to her messages became a highlight of his day.

He also thought she was absolutely gorgeous.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed with a new message from her.

Max chuckled, about to reply when he heard the doorbell. He remembered Lando and Daniel were coming over for dinner. As he got up to let them in, he quickly typed a response, telling her that he would talk to her later.

"Well, well, well," Daniel's voice boomed as Max opened the door. "If it isn't the newly minted bookworm of Formula 1!"

Lando peered around Daniel's shoulder, "I half expected to find you wearing glasses and a sweater vest, mate."

"Very funny, guys. Come in," Max rolled his eyes as he stepped away from the door.

Ever since his friends noticed his brand new habit, they took it upon themselves to tease him whenever they could. As they made their way to the backyard, Daniel spotted the book on the lounger.

"The Martian?" he read, picking it up. "Isn't this a bit advanced for your reading level, Maxy?"

"Ha ha," Max deadpanned, snatching the book back. "It's actually really good. It's about this astronaut who gets stranded on Mars and has to use science and engineering to survive-"

"Whoa, whoa," Lando interrupted, holding up his hands. "Who are you and what have you done with Max Verstappen?"

Daniel draped an arm around Max's shoulders. "I think our boy here is trying to impress a certain bookish YouTuber. What was her name again? YN?"

Max felt his cheeks warm. "It's not like that. We just... talk about books and stuff."

"And stuff," Daniel repeated, wiggling his eyebrows. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

Max rolled his eyes, trying to brush off their teasing. "Seriously, it's not like that. We just have a lot in common."

Daniel and Lando exchanged knowing glances before bursting into laughter.

"Sure, mate," Daniel said, patting Max on the back. "Whatever you say."

They settled by the pool, beers in hand, and started chatting about the upcoming races and their plans for the rest of the summer. Despite the playful ribbing, Max found himself genuinely enjoying their company. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed his friends.

As the evening wore on, the conversation eventually circled back to Max's books and his little friend on his phone.

"So, Max," Lando started, a mischievous glint in his eye, "have you color-coded your bookshelf yet? Or are you more of a chronological order kind of guy?"

"Nah, mate. I bet he organizes them by how many times YN has mentioned them," Daniel chimed in, "Top shelf is probably her favorites, right Maxy?"

Max felt his cheeks flush, but he couldn't help grinning. "You two are impossible."

"When are you finally going to meet her in person anyway?" Lando said, sipping from his beer.

Max shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the slight flutter in his chest. "I don't know. That's not something I've really thought about,"

He lied. In truth, the thought of meeting YN had crossed his mind countless times. The idea of finally seeing the girl who had captivated him with her intelligence, humor, and beauty made his heart race. He'd catch himself daydreaming about her smile, wondering if it was as warm and infectious in person as it seemed in her videos. But he wasn't ready to admit that to his friends just yet.

Lando and Daniel exchanged a look, clearly not buying Max's nonchalant act.

"Oh come on," Lando scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "You expect us to believe that? You've been glued to your phone for weeks, mate."

"I bet he's already planned their first date," Daniel leaned in, "What'll it be, Max? A romantic book reading by candlelight? Or maybe a visit to the library?"

Max felt his cheeks heating up again. "It's not like that, guys. We're just friends."

"Friends who talk every day and have you blushing like a schoolgirl," Lando teased, nudging Max with his elbow.

"I do not blush like a schoolgirl," Max protested, knowing full well that his face was probably bright red by now.

"Sure, sure," Daniel said with a wink. "Just friends. So, have you at least thought about inviting her to a race? You know, show her what you do when you're not reading about Mars?"

"Why would I invite her to a race, that would be weird," Max protested again, "And she already knows what I do, she's a fan of the sport."

"Man, you're so stubborn sometimes," Lando rolled his eyes at him, "If you like this girl, why don't you invite her to a race? It could be a great way to finally meet in person."

"And who said that I liked her," once again, Max's defensive self came through.

Daniel and Lando shared an exasperated look before turning back to Max.

"Come on, mate," Daniel said, his tone gentler now. "It's pretty obvious. We've never seen you this invested in someone before. Not to mention, you're reading books voluntarily for the first time since... well, ever."

"It's written all over your face," Lando said, shaking his head. "You like her, and there's no shame in that. You light up every time your phone buzzes. It's kind of adorable, actually."

Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew his friends were right, but admitting it out loud felt like a big step. "Okay, fine. Maybe I do like her. But it's complicated, you know? We've never even met in person."

"That's exactly why you should invite her to a race," Lando insisted. "It's the perfect opportunity. She gets to see you in your element, and you get to finally meet face-to-face."

"Plus," Daniel added with a mischievous grin, "if things go well, you can always show her your trophy collection. I hear that's a great way to impress the ladies."

Max couldn't help but laugh at that. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Maybe," Daniel shrugged, "but I'm also right. What have you got to lose?"

Max pondered this for a moment. The idea of meeting YN in person both thrilled and terrified him. What if they didn't click in real life the way they did over text? But then again, what if they did?

"I'll think about it," Max finally conceded.

Lando and Daniel exchanged triumphant grins.

"That's our boy," Lando said, patting his back.

After a few more beers and food, Lando and Daniel left.

As the night deepened, Max found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The conversation with Lando and Daniel kept replaying in his mind. His phone sat on the nightstand, silent but somehow still demanding his attention.

Max's thoughts raced. Should he text YN? Invite her to Zandvoort? The idea made his heart beat faster. He imagined seeing her in person for the first time, wondering if her smile would be as pretty as it was in her videos. But doubt crept in too. What if things were awkward? What if the chemistry they had online didn't translate to real life?

He rolled onto his side, eyeing his phone. The urge to reach out to her was strong, as it always was. Max realized that Lando and Daniel were right - he did like her. A lot. The thought of meeting her filled him with equal parts excitement and nervousness.

Taking a deep breath, Max grabbed his phone. Before he could overthink it, he started typing.

Hey YN, hope I'm not messaging too late. I was wondering if you'd like to come to the Dutch GP at Zandvoort? It's the first race after the summer break, and my home race. Thought it might be fun if you could make it.

He hit send before he could second-guess himself. The wait for her response felt eternal. When his phone finally buzzed, Max's heart leapt.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 286,375 others

ynreadsbooks this week’s video will be delayed for some ~personal reasons ☺️

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username1 GIRL

username2 ARE YOU GOING WHERE I THINK YOU’RE GOING

username3 f1 x books this is literally me

username4 hot girls support max verstappen

username5 ahh if she’s going to the gp i’ll be so happy bc she’s a huge fan

username6 the way roles reversed and now max is his fan 😭

redbullracing We can’t wait 💙

↳ username1 REDBULL???

↳ username2 AHHH THEY PROBABLY INVITED HER

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

As Max headed to Zandvoort Circuit for the Dutch Grand Prix, he felt the familiar weight of expectations settling on his shoulders.

The second half of the season loomed ahead, and the pressure to maintain his championship lead was on. He knew the team was counting on him to deliver strong results, especially at his home race where the orange-clad fans would be out in full force.

But amidst the pressure and responsibility, there was another emotion bubbling up inside him - a giddy excitement that he couldn't quite contain.

The thought of finally meeting YN in person after months of texts, calls, and shared book recommendations made his heart race in a way that had nothing to do with driving at a car at a very fast speed.

As he drove to the track, Max found himself smiling at random moments, his mind drifting to imagine what it would be like to see her smile in person, to hear her laugh without the filter of a phone call.

Max realized that for the first time in a long while, he was looking forward to a race weekend for reasons that extended beyond the track.

Unfortunately, his busy schedule kept them from meeting right away. Media commitments, team briefings, and practice sessions consumed his time, leaving him feeling frustrated and guilty for not being able to see her sooner. He sent her a quick message apologizing for the delay, promising they'd meet after qualifying.

As he made his way to the garage, a familiar voice called out behind him.

"Oi, Max! Ready for the big day?"

Max turned to see Daniel jogging up to him, his trademark grin in place.

"Yeah, should be a good quali," Max replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't talking about qualifying, mate. Your special guest arrives today, right?"

Max felt his cheeks warm. "How did you even remember that?"

"Please," Daniel scoffed. "It's all you've been talking about for weeks. So, have you met her yet?"

"No, my schedule's been packed. We're supposed to meet after quali."

"Ah, saving the best for last, eh?" Daniel's grin widened, "Smart move. Nothing like the adrenaline of a good qualifying session to make a great first impression."

"Or to completely mess it up," Max muttered.

"Hey, none of that," Daniel clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll be fine. Just be yourself. She already likes you for who you are, remember?"

Max nodded, feeling a bit reassured. "Thanks, Dan."

With a deep breath, Max headed into the garage, Daniel's words echoing in his mind.

Qualifying went smoothly, with Max securing a front row start to the delight of the Dutch fans. The cheers of the home crowd were deafening as he climbed out of the car, but his mind was elsewhere.

After the post-qualifying interviews, Max sent YN a quick text letting her know that he was free now and she let him know that she was around the hospitality area.

As he walked towards there, Max spotted YN standing near one of the motorhomes, looking around with wide eyes. She hadn't seen him yet, and for a moment, Max just watched her, taking in the sight of the girl who had been on his mind for months now.

She was even more gorgeous in person than he had imagined.

Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in the bustling paddock around her. The way the sunlight caught her hair, the gentle curve of her smile as she observed everything with wonder - it all took Max's breath away.

He noticed little details he couldn't have seen through a screen: the way her eyes sparkled, the subtle freckles across her nose, the graceful way she moved as she looked around.

Taking a deep breath, Max walked over, his heart pounding. "YN?"

She turned, her face lighting up with a radiant smile that made Max's breath catch. "Max! Finally!"

They moved toward each other, and without hesitation, Max pulled her into a hug. The embrace felt natural, as if they'd done this a hundred times before. He was aware of how perfectly she fit in his arms, the subtle scent of her perfume, and the warmth of her body against his.

"It's so good to finally meet you," he murmured into her hair. "I'm so sorry it took so long, this weekend's been crazy."

She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with understanding in her eyes. "It's okay, Max. That qualifying was amazing! I've never experienced anything like it."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Come on, let me show you around."

He took her hand and he was struck by how natural it felt. Her fingers intertwined with his perfectly, and a warm sensation spread from their joined hands throughout his body.

They strolled through the paddock, Max pointing out the various team motorhomes, the garages, and the media center. YN was all wide-eyed fascination, asking questions and soaking in every detail. As they walked, Max found himself relaxing more and more, his previous nerves about their chemistry being gone fading away.

As they rounded a corner, they nearly bumped into Lando Norris. Who couldn't help but smirk at the sight of their hands intertwined.

"You guys met already!" he cheerfully said, "You must be YN."

Her cheeks flushed, clearly surprised that Max had mentioned her to his friends. Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her reaction.

"Yeah, this is YN," Max said, unable to keep the smile off his face, "Meet Lando, the perpetual pain in my ass."

"Nice to finally meet the girl who's got Max reading," YN laughed, and Lando extended his hand, "Quite the accomplishment."

"Nice to meet you too, Lando," YN said, shaking his hand. "I've enjoyed watching you race, I'm a big fan. Congrats on the pole position."

"Cheers," Lando replied, then turned to Max with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, has he bored you with car talk yet, or has he actually remembered how to discuss books?"

Max rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Shouldn't you be preparing for tomorrow, Lando?"

"Alright, alright, I can take a hint," Lando chuckled. "Enjoy your tour, lovebirds!"

As Lando walked away, Max felt a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. He glanced at YN, relieved to see her smiling.

"Sorry about him," Max said, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Lando has a way of making everything awkward."

YN laughed softly, her eyes twinkling. "It's fine. He seems like fun."

They continued their walk, finally making their way to the rooftop terrace of the Red Bull hospitality area. The view was stunning, offering a panoramic look at the circuit and the sea of orange-clad fans below.

"This is incredible," YN said, leaning against the railing and taking it all in. "Thank you for showing me around, Max."

"Of course," Max said, standing beside her. "I'm really glad you could come."

They stood there for a moment, enjoying the view and each other's company. Max felt a sense of contentment wash over him, the stress of the weekend melting away in her presence.

"Max," YN said softly, turning to face him. "I know this weekend is important for you, and I don't want to be a distraction. But I'm really happy to be here and to finally meet you."

"You're not a distraction," Max replied, reaching out to take her hand again. "You're the best part of this weekend, honestly."

They shared a smile, Max was well aware of the butterflies that fluttered on his stomach and the high school girl blush his friends teased him about, but he didn't care. He felt happy with the pretty girl who had been his source of comfort for months, finally face to face.

"You know," YN said softly, "when I made that video calling you a misunderstood hero with a heart of gold, I never imagined I'd get to see it firsthand. But being here, seeing how you are with your team, with the fans… I was right about you, Max Verstappen."

Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her words. He had always been guarded about his public image, but hearing her perspective meant more than he could ever imagine.

"I'm glad you think so," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You know, that video... it changed things for me. Not just because it led to us talking, but because it made me reflect on a lot of things."

"Who would've thought," YN said with a smile, "When I recorded that video, I never thought you would ever see it, let alone have an impact on you and let alone lead us to talking and me being here."

"Everything happens for a reason, right?"

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 301,257 others

ynreadsbooks best experience ever. thank you, thank you, THANK YOU 🥺💙

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username1 OMFGGGG

username2 no one deserved this more than her for real

username3 SHE MET MAX TOO?? DESERVED

redbullracing Come back soon! 😉

username4 red bull finally inviting people who actually love the sport

username5 GIRL WE NEED A VLOGGGG

username6 omg how did this happen spiiiill

↳ ynreadsbooks let's say i got invited by the world champion

↳ username1 WTF

↳ username2 so MAX invited her not redbull help he really did become a fan after that video

danielricciardo Hope to see you around soon, love ! 👀

↳ username3 how do i sign up for this

username7 THAT PIC OF MAX IS SO BOYFRIEND CODED

maxversteppen1 Thank you so much for coming and making this day special ☺️

↳ username1 OMG MAX

↳ username2 i'd be screaming if i was her

liked by charles_leclerc, ynreadsbooks and 1,028,479 others

maxverstappen1 Enjoyed every moment in Zandvoort with this amazing atmosphere and the best company 🧡

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username1 KIIING

username2 how can a man be so babygirl

username3 all smiles even tho he finished p2

danielricciardo 🦁🦁

landonorris Simply lovely

↳ username1 menace

username4 bro who got you smiling like that

ynreadsbooks ❤️

↳ username2 biggest max girlie

↳ username3 WE NEED THAT VLOG

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When it came time for YN to leave the Netherlands, Max insisted on driving her to the airport himself. The car ride was filled with comfortable silence and soft conversation, both of them trying to stretch out their remaining time together.

Despite their short time together, Max found himself completely smitten, captivated by YN's intelligence, humor, and the way her eyes lit up when she talked about books or reacted to the thrill of the race.

He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was head over heels for her.

As they stood in the departure terminal, Max felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. He hesitated, his heart racing, but ultimately settled for a long, warm hug, breathing in her scent and committing it to memory. As he watched her walk through security, he already found himself missing her presence.

Now, a week later, Max was in Monza for the Italian Grand Prix. The day had been busy with media commitments and team meetings. Finally back in the quiet of his motorhome, Max flopped onto the couch, feeling drained but content. Without thinking, he reached for his phone and hit the FaceTime button next to YN's name.

Her smiling face appeared on the screen, and Max felt an immediate surge of warmth.

"Hey, you," she said, her voice soft and welcoming even through the phone's speakers.

"Hey," Max replied, unable to keep the grin off his face. "How's your day been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Editing videos, reading, missing the excitement of the paddock," YN teased. "How about you? Surviving the media circus?"

"Barely," Max groaned dramatically, "I swear, if I have to answer one more question about RedBull and their big mess, I might go mad."

YN laughed, the sound making Max's heart skip a beat. "Poor Max. Whatever shall we do to take your mind off your beloved team?"

"Well," Max said, shifting to get more comfortable, "I've been reading that new sci-fi book you recommended. 'The Martian-like Odyssey to Titan,' or whatever it's called."

"'Project Hail Mary,'" she corrected, "And? What do you think so far?"

"It's incredible!" Max's eyes lit up, "I mean, the science is fascinating, and the way the main character problem-solves is just... I don't know, it reminds me a bit of what we do in racing, you know? Constantly adapting, finding solutions on the fly."

"That's exactly why I thought you'd like it! The way Andy Weir writes about scientific problem-solving is so engaging."

They dove into an animated discussion about the book, Max marveling at how easily conversation flowed between them, how YN's passion for books was infectious. As they talked, a thought that had been brewing in Max's mind for days suddenly surfaced.

"YN," Max said, his voice softer than before. "There's actually something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Oh? What is it, Max?" she tilted her head, curiosity evident in her expression.

Max took a deep breath, suddenly feeling like he was about to qualify for a crucial race. "Well, I was wondering... have you ever been to Monaco?"

"No, actually, I haven't," YN's eyebrows raised in surprise, "It's always been on my travel wish list, though. Why do you ask?"

Max felt his heart rate pick up. He'd rehearsed this moment in his head countless times over the past few days, but now that it was here, he found himself fumbling for words.

"Well, you see, I have a two-week break coming up before the Baku GP, and I was thinking... maybe... if you're free, of course, and if you'd like to... you could come visit me in Monaco?"

The words tumbled out faster than he intended, and Max felt a blush creeping up his neck. He watched YN's face carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. His mind raced with possibilities - what if she said no? What if this was too forward?

YN's eyes widened, and for a moment, she seemed at a loss for words. "Oh, Max, that's... wow. That's really sweet of you to offer."

Max, sensing a hint of hesitation, quickly added, "You could stay at my place. I have plenty of room, and it would be great to have you around. Plus I have two adorable cats that I'm sure you'd love."

YN's expression softened, a mix of excitement and uncertainty in her eyes. "That sounds amazing, Max. But… are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose on your personal space or your time off."

Truth was, Max wanted to spent every free moment he had with her, but he wasn't sure how to let her know without sounding too forward or like a creep, so he just pressed on.

"You wouldn't be imposing at all, I promise. I really want us to spend more time together, away from the craziness of the race weekends. And I'd love to show you around Monaco."

He watched as YN bit her lip, considering his offer. The silence stretched for a moment, and Max found himself holding his breath.

"If you're not comfortable staying at my place," he added quickly, "I could book you a hotel room, or there are some great Airbnbs with amazing views of the harbor. Whatever makes you feel most at ease. I just… I really want to see you again."

As he spoke, Max realized just how true his words were. The thought of having YN in his space, sharing meals, exploring the city together - it filled him with a warmth he couldn't quite describe. It was more than just attraction; there was a comfort in her presence that he craved.

YN smiled, a warm look in her eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"I do. Look, I know it might seem like a big ask, but I just... I can't stop thinking about how much fun we have together. And Monaco is beautiful this time of year. We could go for drives along the coast, have dinner at some amazing restaurants, or just relax by the pool if you prefer. No pressure, just... us. And well, the cats."

Max held his breath, waiting for her response. The thought of having YN in Monaco, of being able to spend uninterrupted time with her away from the pressures of the race weekend, made his heart soar. He imagined showing her his favorite spots in the city, maybe taking her out on his boat, or just lounging by the pool and talking for hours.

"Alright, Verstappen, you've convinced me. But I have one condition."

"Name it." Max grinned, relief and excitement washing over him.

"If I'm staying at your place, you have to let me cook my infamous waffles for breakfast. They're a secret family recipe, and I guarantee they'll be the best you've ever tasted."

"Deal," Max's smile widened, a burst of joy exploding in his chest. "But I warn you, I take my waffles very seriously. They better live up to the hype."

"Oh, they will. And I can't wait to meet the cats."

As they continued to chat and make plans for YN's visit, Max felt a warmth spreading through his chest. The prospect of having YN in his home, of waking up and knowing she was just in the next room, of being able to spend lazy mornings together over homemade waffles - it all seemed almost too good to be true.

He found himself imagining what it would be like to have her there. Would she curl up on his couch with a book? Would they watch the sunset from his terrace? Would he finally get the courage to kiss her?

The thought made his heart race. He remembered the moment at the airport when he had wanted so badly to kiss her goodbye. This time, he promised himself, he wouldn't let the opportunity pass by.

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The day of YN's arrival in Monaco had finally come, and Max felt like a giddy teenager preparing for his first date.

In the days leading up to YN's visit, Max had found himself unusually preoccupied with preparations. He wanted everything to be perfect for YN's stay. He'd bought new sheets for the guest bedroom, making sure they were the softest he could find. He'd stocked the fridge with an array of foods, unsure of her preferences but making sure to have options. He'd even gone so far as to buy a small collection of books he thought she might enjoy, arranging them carefully on the nightstand in her room.

The morning of her arrival, Max woke up early, his stomach a knot of excitement and nerves. He double-checked everything one last time - fresh towels in the bathroom, extra toiletries in case she forgot anything, a vase of fresh flowers on the kitchen counter to brighten up the space. He felt almost silly with how much effort he was putting in, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted everything to be perfect for the girl he was smitten with.

As the time to leave for the airport approached, Max found himself pacing, checking his watch every few minutes. He'd planned the route to the airport meticulously, factoring in potential traffic to make sure he'd be there in plenty of time. Just as he was about to grab his keys and head out, the doorbell rang.

Confused, Max paused. He wasn't expecting anyone - he'd made sure to clear his schedule completely for YN's visit. Frowning slightly, he opened the door to find Lando standing there, a wide grin on his face.

"Lando? What are you doing here?" Max asked, glancing at his watch.

"What, can't a mate drop by for a visit?" Lando replied, trying to peer past Max into the apartment. "Thought we could hang out, maybe play some FIFA."

Max shifted awkwardly, blocking the doorway. "Lando, mate, I'm actually just about to head out. I can't hang out right now."

"Oh, come on," Lando's grin faltered slightly, "Just for a bit? We haven't had a proper catch-up in ages."

"I'm sorry, I really can't," Max insisted, glancing at his watch nervously. "I have to pick up a friend from the airport."

Lando's eyes narrowed suspiciously, a mischievous glint appearing. "A friend, huh? Is it that your book dream girl? You're flying her out over here?"

Max felt his face heat up, a blush creeping up his neck. He tried to deny it, but his reaction gave him away.

"It is! Oh man, this is brilliant," Lando's eyes widened in delight, "Max Verstappen, blushing like a schoolboy over a girl."

"Shut up," Max grumbled, but there was no real annoyance in his voice. He couldn't help but smile.

"So, YN is finally gracing Monaco with her presence," Lando teased. "No wonder you've been so distracted lately. When do I get to hang out with her?"

"You don't," Max rolled his eyes, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go."

"Alright, alright," Lando stepped aside, still grinning. "But I want details later, yeah? And tell YN I said hi."

Max waved him off, hurrying to his car. Despite Lando's teasing, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. The excitement was bubbling up inside him again as he drove to the airport.

As he parked and made his way to the arrivals area, Max felt his nerves almost making him want to throw up. He found himself fidgeting, alternating between pacing and sitting, his eyes glued to the arrivals board.

Finally, he saw that YN's flight had landed. His heart rate picked up as he watched the doors, scanning the crowd for her familiar face. And then, suddenly, there she was.

YN emerged from the arrivals gate, looking a bit tired from the journey but still radiant. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and when they landed on Max, her face lit up with a brilliant smile.

Max felt his breath catch in his throat. He raised his hand in a small wave, a grin spreading across his face as he walked towards her.

"Hey, Max," she said as she reached him, her voice warm and slightly breathless.

"Hey," he replied, suddenly feeling shy. "How was your flight?"

Without thinking, he pulled her into a hug. As he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair, he felt a sense of rightness wash over him. It was as if all the pieces were falling into place.

"It was good, just long," she hugged him back tightly. "I'm so glad to be here though."

As they pulled apart, Max found himself reluctant to let go completely. He kept one hand on her back as he reached for her suitcase with the other. "Here, let me get that for you."

"Always the gentleman," YN teased, but her smile was soft and appreciative.

As they walked towards the exit, Max found himself stealing glances at her, still hardly believing she was really here. "So, um, I thought we could grab some lunch if you're hungry? Or if you're tired, we can head straight to my place so you can rest."

YN considered for a moment. "Lunch sounds great, actually. I'm starving, and I'm too excited to sleep just yet. I want to see Monaco."

Max chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through his chest at her enthusiasm. "Lunch it is then. I know just the place – it has a great view of the harbor."

As they made their way to Max's car, chatting easily about YN's flight and Max's plans for her visit, Max felt a sense of contentment he hadn't experienced in a long time. The nervousness from earlier had melted away, replaced by pure happiness.

Loading YN's suitcase into the trunk, Max caught her eye and smiled. "I'm really glad you're here, YN."

She returned his smile, her eyes sparkling. "Me too, Max. Me too."

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ynreadsbooks roomates for the week 🥺

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username1 AWEEE

username2 those are cute kittens

username3 those look like max verstappen's cats

username4 JIMMY AND SASSY VERSTAPPEN??

↳ username1 how CRAZY would it be

danielricciardo Don't hesitate to shout if he's much trouble

↳ username2 HOLD ON??

↳ ynreadsbooks he's just fine don't worry 😅

↳ username3 IS SHE REALLY WITH MAX??

↳ maxverstappen1 I'm not trouble...

↳ username1 OMFGGG

↳ username4 THIS PLOT TWIST

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Three days had passed since YN's arrival in Monaco, and Max couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier.

True to her word, YN had cooked her infamous waffles for breakfast on the second morning of her stay. As Max had taken his first bite, his eyes had widened in surprise and delight. The waffles were light and crispy on the outside, yet fluffy on the inside, with a perfect balance of sweetness and a hint of vanilla. He'd declared them the best he'd ever tasted, earning a proud smile from her.

The days that followed had been filled with laughter, conversation, and exploration. They'd spent hours by Max's pool, talking about everything and nothing. YN would often bring a book, reading aloud passages that she found particularly interesting or amusing, while Max listened, content to hear her voice and watch the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about something she loved.

They'd explored Monaco together, with Max showing YN his favorite spots and discovering new ones together. He'd taken her to the Monte Carlo Casino, where they'd marveled at the architecture and people-watched. They'd strolled through the streets of Monaco-Ville, the old town, where YN had been enchanted by the colorful buildings. They'd even spent an afternoon at the Oceanographic Museum, where YN's enthusiasm for learning had been infectious, and Max had found himself just as excited as she was about the marine life exhibits.

Throughout it all, Max felt himself falling deeper for her. It wasn't just her beauty or her intelligence that captivated him, but the way she saw the world. Her curiosity, her kindness, her ability to find joy in the smallest things - it all made Max see his surroundings through new eyes. He found himself noticing details he'd never paid attention to before, appreciating moments he might have otherwise overlooked.

What struck Max most was how easy and right it all felt. There was no pressure, no awkwardness. Being with YN was as natural as breathing. They could talk for hours without running out of things to say, but they were also comfortable in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence.

As they returned from another long day of exploring the city, both Max and YN retreated to their respective rooms to change into more comfortable clothing. Max opted for a soft t-shirt and sweatpants, relishing the feeling of being relaxed and at ease in his own home.

When he emerged from his room, he found YN already settled on his couch, her legs tucked under her, a book in her hands and one of his cats curling beside her. She was wearing one the t-shirt she picked the night she arrived when she realized she forgot to pack pajamas. It was too big for her frame but Max felt like melting knowing she was wearing his shirt.

The sight made Max's heart skip a beat. There was something so intimate and domestic about the scene - YN looking completely at home in his space, in his clothes, absorbed in a book as if she'd always been there.

Max couldn't help but smile, a warmth spreading through his chest. He found himself wanting this view in his life every day - coming home to find YN there, comfortable and content. The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He'd never felt this way about anyone before, never wanted to intertwine his life so completely with another person's.

YN looked up from her book, catching Max's gaze. Her lips curved into a soft smile. "Hey. Want to join me?"

Without hesitation, Max crossed the room. Instead of sitting next to her, he surprised both of them by lying down on the couch and resting his head in her lap. He looked up at her, his eyes vulnerable. "Would you read to me?"

YN's expression softened, her eyes twinkling with affection. "Of course," she said, her free hand moving to gently run her fingers through his hair.

Max closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation. He felt her shift slightly, getting comfortable, and then her voice filled the air, soft and melodious as she began to read.

Max's lips curved into a smile. "Emma," he murmured. "I remember you mentioning it was one of your favorites."

YN paused her reading, looking down at him with surprise and pleasure. "You remembered that?"

"Of course," Max opened his eyes, meeting her gaze. "I remember everything you tell me."

A huge grin appeared in YN's face, and she bent down to press a soft kiss to Max's forehead. The gesture was so natural, so tender, that it made Max's heart flutter.

As she continued to read, her fingers still combing through his hair, Max found himself only half-listening to the words. Instead, he was acutely aware of every point of contact between them - the warmth of her lap under his head, the gentle touch of her fingers, the soft cadence of her voice washing over him.

In that moment, Max realized with startling clarity that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Not just the glamour of racing or the thrill of victory, but this - quiet moments of intimacy, the comfort of being with someone who understood him, who made him want to be better.

He reached up, gently taking YN's free hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. She paused in her reading, looking down at him with a question in her eyes.

"YN," Max said softly, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm really glad you're here."

She squeezed his hand, her smile radiant. "So am I, Max. So am I."

As she resumed reading, her voice mixing with the soft sound of the Mediterranean breeze outside, Max closed his eyes again, a sense of peace settling over him. Whatever the future held, he knew that this moment, this feeling, was something he'd cherish forever.

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ynreadsbooks monaco you're the dream 🤍

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username1 GIRL

username2 THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

username3 how do you go from max randomly commenting one of your videos to this

username4 girl we can tell that's max dw 😭😭

username5 YOU OWE US A TWO HOUR STORYTIME VIDEO

username6 anything you want to tell us best friend?

username7 she just had a book and a dream fr

landonorris Has he bored you yet?

↳ username1 IM DYING

↳ username2 she really masterminded her way into the f1 circle

↳ ynreadsbooks he's nice, makes good smoothies 😉

↳ maxverstappen1 Good to know that ❤️

↳ landonorris I'm disgusted

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As the final day of YN's stay in Monaco dawned, Max found himself feeling so many bittersweet emotions. The past week had been nothing short of magical, and the thought of it coming to an end left a hollow feeling in his chest. She hadn't even left yet, and already he missed her.

For their final day, Max had decided to take YN out on his yacht. He wanted their last hours together to be special, just the two of them away from the bustling streets of Monaco. As they prepared for the day, packing a picnic and gathering sunscreen and towels, Max couldn't help but reflect on the past week.

Daniel and Lando had teased him mercilessly about his sudden disappearance from their usual hangouts. They'd made jokes about Max being "whipped" and how he'd fallen hard for his "YouTube dream girl." But Max didn't care. He was too happy, too caught up in the bubble of joy that surrounded him and YN.

As they boarded the yacht, the Mediterranean stretching out before them in shades of turquoise, Max felt a pang in his chest. This perfect week was coming to an end, and he wasn't sure he was ready to face reality again.

Once they were out on the open water. YN leaned over the railing, a look of wonder on her face.

"This is incredible, Max," she said, turning to him with a dazzling smile. "I can't believe I'm here, experiencing all of this."

Max moved to stand beside her, their shoulders brushing. "I'm going to miss you," he said softly, "This week has been… I don't even have words for it."

"I'm going to miss you too, Max. So much. But you know I have to go back home. I have videos to make for my channel, work stuff to catch up on…"

Max nodded, understanding but not liking it. "Maybe you could make a video about 'A Week with an F1 Driver'? I'm sure your subscribers would love that."

YN laughed, playfully shoving his shoulder. "Oh yes, I'm sure that would go over well. 'Day 3: Watched Max eat his bodyweight in pasta. Day 5: Learned that F1 drivers are actually big babies when they lose at Mario Kart.'"

"I am not a baby!" Max gasped in mock offense. "I'm just… competitive."

"Uh-huh, sure," she teased, her eyes twinkling. "Is that why you pouted for an hour after I beat you?"

"I did not pout," Max protested, but he was grinning.

"You know, it's still surreal to me that a random video I published got us here. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be spending a week in Monaco with Max Verstappen, I would have laughed in their face."

Max reached out, caressing her cheek softly. "I'm glad you made that video," he said softly. "I'm glad I stumbled across it. I can't imagine not knowing you now."

As they stood together on the boat, the gentle rocking of the waves mirroring the tumultuous emotions within them, Max found his gaze drawn to YN's lips. They were slightly parted, soft and inviting. His heart raced as he lifted his eyes to meet hers, a silent question in his gaze.

YN's eyes, warm and full of affection, met his. A small, knowing smile played at the corners of her mouth, and in that moment, it was all the permission Max needed.

With a gentle tug, he pulled her closer, one hand coming to rest on the small of her back while the other cupped her cheek. Time seemed to slow as he leaned in, their breaths mingling in the space between them. And then, finally, their lips met.

The kiss was tender at first, a soft exploration. But as YN's arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair, it deepened into something more passionate. Max poured all of his pent-up emotions into the kiss - his joy, his longing, his hope for what they could be.

When they finally parted, YN's eyes were sparkling. "You know," she said, a playful tone to her voice, "I've been waiting for you to do that all week."

Max couldn't help but laugh, a mixture of relief and happiness bubbling up inside him. "Really? All week, huh?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded, her smile widening. "I was starting to think I'd have to make the first move myself."

"Well," Max said, his voice low and teasing, "allow me to make up for lost time."

With that, he pulled her in for another kiss. This one was different from the first - more confident, more passionate. His hands roamed her back, pulling her flush against him as her fingers tangled in his hair. The world around them faded away until there was nothing but the two of them, the taste of salt on their lips, and the warmth of the setting sun on their skin.

When they broke apart this time, both were slightly dazed. Max rested his forehead against YN's, unwilling to put any distance between them.

"I really like you," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I've ever liked anyone before. This week with you… it's been incredible. I don't want it to end."

YN's hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb gently stroking his skin. "I really like you too, Max," she replied, her voice equally soft. "These past few days have been like a dream."

Max pulled back slightly, just enough to meet her eyes. "I know you have to go back, but… I want to make this work. Us, I mean. If that's something you want too."

"I do want that. Very much. It might not be easy with our schedules and the distance, but I think you're worth it."

"We'll figure it out," he said, determination clear in his voice. "I'll come visit you when I can, and you can come to some of my races. We'll make time for video calls, and I'll text you so much you'll get sick of me."

YN laughed, the sound like music to Max's ears. "I don't think I could ever get sick of you," she said, her eyes twinkling. "But I'm holding you to that promise about the races. I expect VIP treatment, Mr. Verstappen."

Max grinned, pulling her close again. "For you? Always," he murmured, before capturing her lips in another kiss.

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The month following YN's stay in Monaco had been blissful happiness for both YN and Max. Their parting at the airport had been bittersweet, filled with lingering kisses and tight embraces. They had spent a good hour cuddling in Max's car in the airport parking lot, neither wanting to let go.

"I'm going to miss you so much," YN had whispered, her face buried in the crook of Max's neck.

Max had tightened his arms around her, breathing in her scent. "I'll miss you too. But we'll see each other soon, I promise."

When they finally managed to separate, their goodbye kiss had been passionate and filled with promise. As Max watched her disappear into the airport, he already felt a piece of his heart leaving with her.

In the weeks that followed, they took every opportunity to be together. Max would fly to YN's home during his breaks between races, often arriving exhausted but immediately revitalized by her presence.

Their reunions were always intense, filled with desperate kisses and roaming hands as they made up for lost time. But it was the quiet moments that Max treasured most - waking up with YN in his arms, her sleepy smile the first thing he saw; cooking breakfast together, stealing kisses between flipping pancakes; or simply sitting in comfortable silence, each lost in their own tasks but finding comfort in the other's presence.

Now, as they walked hand in hand through the paddock in Austin for the USA Grand Prix, Max felt a sense of pride and joy unlike anything he'd experienced before. Having YN by his side at a race weekend, this time as more than just a friend, felt right in a way he couldn't fully express.

"This is incredible, Max," YN breathed, squeezing his hand. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

Max grinned, his heart swelling with affection. He loved seeing the paddock through her eyes, rediscovering the magic that he sometimes took for granted.

"Wait until you see the track," he said, pulling her closer. "And the sound when all the cars start up… there's nothing like it."

They paused for a moment, watching as a group of mechanics wheeled a set of tires past them. Max took the opportunity to really look at his girl. She was radiant in the sunlight, her hair catching the light and her eyes sparkling with excitement. He couldn't resist leaning in to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

YN turned to him, a playful smile on her lips. "What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason to kiss my girl?" Max replied, his voice low and teasing.

She laughed, the sound music to his ears. "I suppose not. But maybe save some for later? We are in public, after all."

"You're killing me," Max groaned dramatically. "How am I supposed to focus on racing when you look like that?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll manage," YN teased, patting his chest. "After all, I hear you're quite good at this driving thing."

Their playful banter was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out. "Oi, Verstappen! Finally decided to grace us with your presence?"

Max turned to see Daniel approaching, his trademark grin in place. Lando was close behind, an equally mischievous look on his face.

"Hey guys," Max greeted, unconsciously pulling YN closer. "You remember YN, right?"

"Ah yes," Daniel's grin widened. "Nice to see you again, love."

"It's great to see you too, Daniel," she smiled warmly. "And you, Lando."

Lando's eyes darted between Max and YN, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "So, Max, finally managed to seal the deal, huh?"

Max felt his cheeks heat up, but before he could respond, YN jumped in.

"Oh, he did more than that," she said, her tone light but with a hint of something that made Max's pulse quicken. "He's been quite… impressive."

Daniel let out a low whistle while Lando burst into laughter. Max couldn't help but join in, marveling at how effortlessly YN fit into his world.

As they chatted, Max couldn't keep his hands off YN. He found himself constantly touching her - a hand on the small of her back, playing with her fingers, rubbing her arm softly. Each touch was like a spark, reminding him of their passionate reunions over the past month.

He thought back to their last meeting, just a week ago. He had flown to her place straight after he was done with some meetings in Monaco, exhausted but desperate to see her. The moment he stepped through her door, all fatigue had vanished. They had barely made it to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. The memory of her skin against his, the taste of her lips, the sound of her gasps and moans… it was enough to make him want to whisk her away to his motorhome right now.

Max was pulled from his thoughts by the approach of another familiar face. Charles Leclerc was walking towards them, his trademark charming smile in place.

"Max! Good to see you, man," Charles said, clapping Max on the shoulder before turning his attention to YN. "And who might this lovely lady be?"

Without hesitation, the words tumbled from Max's lips: "This is YN, my girlfriend."

He felt the girl stiffen slightly beside him, and for a moment, panic flared in his chest. Had he overstepped? They hadn't explicitly discussed labels yet. But when he glanced at YN, she was smiling warmly at Charles, her hand still firmly in Max's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Charles," YN said, shaking his hand.

Charles raised an eyebrow at Max, a hint of surprise in his expression. "The pleasure is all mine. I hope you're enjoying your time in the paddock."

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, they parted ways. Max led YN towards his driver's room. Once inside the relative privacy of the small space, YN turned to him, a playful glint in her eye.

"Girlfriend, huh?" she said, her tone light but with an undercurrent of something Max couldn't quite identify.

Max felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. "I… yeah. I mean, if that's okay? I know we haven't really talked about it, but…"

YN stepped closer, her fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. "It's more than okay, Max. I was just surprised. We've been in this beautiful bubble, and hearing you say it out loud… it made it feel real in a way it hasn't before."

Max let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His hands found their way to YN's waist, pulling her closer. "It is real," he said softly. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. Feels like you're everything."

Her eyes softened, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. "You're everything to me too, Max. I love you."

The words hung in the air between them for a moment, both realizing it was the first time either had said it. Then Max surged forward, capturing YN's lips in a kiss that was equal parts tender and passionate.

When they broke apart. Max rested his forehead against YN's, his eyes closed as he savored the moment.

"I love you too," he whispered. "God, YN, I love you so much."

YN's answering smile was radiant and she pulled him in for another kiss.

"So," he said, his voice husky, "ready to watch your boyfriend win a race?"

YN laughed, the sound filling the small space and Max's heart. "Always," she replied. "My misunderstood hero with a heart of gold."

[josgalaxy]

MY PERSONAL RANKING OF BALDUR'S GATE 3 COMPANIONS FROM WORST TO BEST (spoiler alert!!!)

Of course this is just my humble and personal opinion, let me know if you agree! Trigger warning, I have a lot to say:

11. The Emperor

I know he's not technically a companion, but let's be honest, he is with Tav since day one. Let's just say this one is a shady bitch. From the get go I didn't trust the Emperor, and going forward with the game my suspicions were confirmed. Not only he literally exploited everyone that could help him reach his goals, but he shows no true loyalty to anyone but to himself.

Proof that the Emperor is just a gaslighting bastard: 1. Lied to the whole party by changing his appearence to seem more trustworthy 2. Killed his dragon bestie Ansur that was just trying to find a cure for him. 3. Kept a Gith prince imprisoned to exploit his power and was willing to eat his brains out to get more powerful. 4. Tried to sleep with Tav and secure their trust (btw, a kinky bitch). 5. LITERALLY SIDED WITH THE BIG BAD NETHERBRAIN as soon as Tav was not okay being manipulated anymore (like babygirl, you spent the entire game telling me we had to kill that thing and now you're ending up siding with it? Excuse me??)

So, yes, The Emperor deserves to rot and I was very happy to fry that calamari.

10. Minsc (and Boo)

So, I haven't played bg2, so I don't have that kind of attachment to the old characters. I don't mind that he is juts this brainless hunk, and I like the fact that he carries a cute hamster with him. He kinda reminds me of Kronk, and I love Kronk so he gets a few points for that. But other than some muscles, dumb jokes, and Boo, what else is there?

Let's just say that he made me smile a couple of times, but I got bored of him (but not the hamster) almost instantly.

9. Jaheira

Same here folks, I appreciate Jaheira but I don't feel that attached to her as the rest of the companions (probably because of the fact that she and Minsc are introduced in the game quite late). I mean, you get this badass milf Elf (mother is mothering) that can turn into a panther and has a cute accent... how can you not like her? But do I find her as interesting as other chatacters in the game? Not really.

I would probably share a drink with the tho, to hear all the stories from back in her day.

8. Wyll

Before any of you come for me for putting The Blade of the Frontier this low, let me explain. I like Wyll, I like the fact that he is a dancer, he's romantic, and that his main goal is to help people. I mean, he made a pact with a literal devil to save his city! Don't get me wrong, I think I would be friends with him irl, but as for character growth and depth, I think he passes off to be more bland than the rest of the companions, probably for his too goody two shoes attitude.

Let's just say if he was a spice, he would be flour. Sorry.

7. Minthara

You see, a long time ago my first playthrough, when I met Minty, I seriously contemplated killing all the Tieflings just to be with her. This is just to let you have an idea of the hold this woman has on me. HAVE YOU SEEN HER? Apart from being a hottie, and incredibly useful in combat as a paladin, she is hilarious without even trying. When you see an [ ! ] over her head you know for a fact she is about to tell something UNHINGED. I'm gagging.

Anyway, just so you know I haven't sacrified the tieflings to recruit her. I'm not a monster. I simply knocked mommy out and found her in Moonrise Towers.

6. Lae'zel

I believe Giths and Drows are quite similar: they both crave violence and see any kind of kindness and compassion as weaknesses. But what makes Lae'zel a better character than Minthara, is the fact that she evolves from her prejudices and violence, while the drow doesn't. She starts off as this ruthless and closeminded character, but later on she learns to challenge authority and her tyrant, save her people, find compassion in others and fall in love.

I think her romance is one of the best ones in the game. It starts off as a simple one night stand where she tries to dominate you, pure physical, but then she starts to soften and open up to Tav. I mean the rooftop scene where she calls you Source of my Joy?? Sounds more like Bae'zel to me.

5. Gale of Waterdeep

To be honest, Gale is literally my type irl: a hot scruffy nerd whose ideal Saturday night is reading a book and drinking some wine in front of the fireplace. Also, he has a cat! He is a bit of yapper, I know, but I find him quite charming, even though he eats magical boots from time to time in order not to explode and kill everyone in the vicinity

I believe Gale had the potential to be a heart-throb, but the only thing that gave me the ick about him, was the fact that he is too obsessed with his ex! I get it, she is the goddess of magic, but that doesn't change the fact the she literally groomed him since he was a child. He was willing to go full Manhattan Project just to get her approval. You are cute magic man, but you need to get over your ex.

4. Halsin

May the Oakfather protect me. He is such a dreamboat. He is kind and forgiving with everyone, loves animal and nature - duh, is great with kids, and let's not forget he is absolutely gigantic (points for him). He even carves out a wooden duck for you at the end, so cute! I love the fact that he knows his boundaries and is particularly attentive to respect everyone, like when he flirts with Tav but will wait for them to speak with their partner in order to have an open relationship.

I know he may not have the same depth some other characters have, but who cares?? Teddy Bear over here is fine as he is. What can I say, I'm a sucker for big men that try to be gentle.

3. Shadowheart

Shar's favourite Princess is one of my favourite characters in the game. She starts off as being wary and skeptical about Tav, but she quickly opens up as soon as one shows her kindness. Which is heartbreaking since she led her life following the Lady of Loss, hence without any kindness or compassion. Her backstory is particulary well made, so that you can truly see her growth: from standoffish, she ends up being such a goofy and sweet character. From putting all her faith in a goddess that has literally taken everything from her, she then learns how to discover herself and prioritise her feelings for the first time. I love that for her.

She is quite frustraing sometimes since she keeps missing in combat, but we love our emo babygirl anyway.

2. Astarion

So, the only reason I didn't put Astarion in first place, is because I know for a fact that in real life I would LOATHE the man. But we're not irl, so his gaslighting and manipulative tricks are overshadowed by his witty answers, his flirtatious expressions and the incredible velvety voice of his (thanks Neil Newbon). And to think that I thought I had successfully avoided the Vampire phase... well, I hadn't met this diva right here.

His backstory is one of the most heartbreaking, and with the right choices, I believe he can grow more than any other companion, which is why he is such a fan favourite among the fans. He starts off as being a vain and manipulative twink, but as you get to know of his past and the horrible things he has been through, you realise he is simply a victim that doesn't know any better.

I just love his confession scene to Tav: "I had a nice, simple plan - seduce you and manipulate your feelings. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you... which is where my nice simple plan fell apart." EXCUSE ME?? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??

1. Karlach

She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Karlach officially is the most likable companion of this messy rank. From the first moment you meet her, it's so difficult not to fall in love with this fireball of energy and kindness. Her backstory is probably the saddest of them all: a hopeful kid that gets betrayed and forced to live with a deadly engine that will one day burn her from the inside, like a tragic metaphor for an illness.

She is also smocking hot (and not just because she is literally burning), I mean, the tats, the muscles, the badass hair and half horn?? Child, she ate and left no crumbs. She is a total smokeshow, and despite her bubbly personality she is not afraid to be a bit sexy and flirtatious. Can we talk about the: "I wanna ride you 'till you see stars" YES MA'AM, PLEASE MA'AM.

But in spite of everything bad that has happened to her, Karlach is always smiley, loves her friends deeply and uses every moment to be a goofball and dance around. She is too pure for this world, which is why you feel that her horrible fate is particularly unfair to someone like Karlach. To be honest, her scene in the harbour after defeating the brain is heartbreaking.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So folks, here it is my personal ranking from least to most likable companions of Baldur's Gate 3.

Let me know what do you think!

[universecorp]

Heartbeat pt.2

Summary: After starting a situationship with your best friend from high school, things start to become complicated. Especially when you start to catch feelings.

Jaehyun x Reader

Haechan x Reader (In pt2 and 3 ) w.c: 12.2k

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Smut, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Protected sex (they wrap it before they tap it, what a concept!, Mentions of oral (f.receiving ), sexual themes, drinking, degrading (not during sex though so proceed with caution), a couple arguments, Jaehyun is kinda dick in this part sorry, rejection, trying to kiss someone without their consent, if i missed anything please comment but i think that’s it!

Playlist: ♡

<- Previous Part

It was about a month after the beach and you were on one of  several failed dates. You wondered if you were doomed to just never have a partner at this point as you walked away from your date. You were also starting to think that maybe Jaehyun raised your standards too high, but you also knew your worth and knew what you deserved. Speaking of him, he was calling.

“Hey,” You sighed out, hopping on the bus back to your campus.

“Oh, you sound disappointed. Was it that bad?” You could only chuckle at how even over the phone he could tell when something was wrong. That was just good best friend behavior you figured.

“It wasn’t bad, he's just a little self absorbed. The whole time he just kept talking about how he was valedictorian in high school and all his awards and accolades.” You explained at a hushed volume out of respect for the other riders. “Then he went on to talk about the game he’s developing and how it’s already been kickstarted by some sponsors. The game part was interesting but it was the damn “me” show about high school when he’s a whole junior in college.” 

“Yeesh, sounds boring. Well I have something that might cheer you up and get you some action.” Jaehyun spoke, there was some rustling in the background so you figured he was still in bed. 

“I’m listening.”

“Alphas are having a party tonight, theme is cartoon characters, so if you take the bus to my place we could go out and go shopping, pregame, and then head over.” That sounded intriguing and like just what you needed to forget about this yet again unsuccessful date. 

“I do need to stop at my dorm for makeup though, so can you pick me up there?” Jaehyun made an affirmative humming sound from the other side of the line. 

“Yeah, I'll be there in ten.” 

—————————————————————————

The party was in full swing, and you could successfully say that your pregaming had you feeling good. You were dressed as Bloom from Winx Club You managed to find a blue minidress in your closet so that eliminated part of your outfit. When you and Jaehyun went shopping you also found some wings and a tiara and before you knew it your costume  was complete. 

At the moment you were dancing with some guy you couldn’t remember the name of; loving the way his hands felt on you. He had his chest to your back and was using his hands to help you grind back against him. The song wasn’t even that kind of song but in your state it just felt right. Everything felt perfect and everything about your dance partner was so attractive, his jet black hair, his sun kissed skin, and the moles scattered across his face only added to his beauty. His voice sent shivers down your spine as he whispered things in your ear the things he wanted to do to you and you couldn’t deny that you wanted those things done to you. You were on cloud nine, feeling numb enough to not notice the pair of eyes that was watching you and your dance partner, but conscious enough to know that you wanted the man behind you. 

“You’re so gorgeous, can’t believe you didn’t come with anyone.” Ok, maybe you had failed to mention that you came to this party with Jae, but you weren’t together so that didn’t really matter. Besides he left you the second you walked through the doors, so as far as you were concerned you were just friends who happened to be at the same party.

“I could say the same for you too, honestly.” You weren’t lying either, maybe he was a serial killer and that's why he didn’t have someone. People like him did tend to be serial killers, charismatic, handsome; were you dancing with a serial killer? 

 “Let’s go back to my place babe,” he whispered in your ear, voice low and raspy, “I’ll show you a better time than this lame party.” Saying no was the last thing on your mind as you allowed the pretty stranger to lead you away from the crowds and loud bass reverberating through the cramped house. Even if he did turn out to be a serial killer at least you got to have a good time before you died.

—————————————————————————

You could confidently say that Donghyuck wasn’t a serial killer. You could only say that because you were in his bed being given what you could only classify as your best lay since Jaehyun and not dead in a field somewhere. Words weren’t the only thing he was smooth with, you could name about three other things on top of that. One of them was his dick, which was currently in you. Unlike most men you’ve fucked after parties, Donghyuck took his time with you; bringing you to orgasm once from his tongue and fingers before he finally entered you. Needless to say, you were in a state of pure ecstasy and didn’t want it to stop anytime soon. 

“Hyuck-, fuck, feels good…” Your nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders, no doubt leaving marks, but that seemed to only spur him on. You could feel every drag of his cock against your walls as he pulled out almost to the tip before thrusting back in roughly. You could hear every whimper and whine he was letting out which was slightly muffled by the pillow his head was buried in. Judging from the way he ate you out earlier, you could tell he was getting off of the fact that you felt good too and it almost stirred something in you. 

“You’re so gorgeous, you sound so pretty for me.” His voice was a bit husky in your ear, but still had that nasal lilt to it that you found so attractive. You could tell he was close by how his thrusts were starting to grow erratic and less calculated, somehow he was still managing to hit your g-spot dead on, despite his clear fatigue. As if he knew he wasn’t going to last long enough to pull another orgasm out of you, he quickly moved his hand between your bodies to start rubbing roughly at your clit. You couldn’t help the loud moan that came from you as he continued the onslaught of pleasure but moving his mouth down to your neck again to suck hickeys onto your neck. “Fuck, come on baby, give it to me.” It felt like his permission was all you needed to let go for a second time that night and only seconds later he was following you, moaning your name out into the silence of his apartment as his thrusts came to a stop. 

Donghyuck finally rolled off of you after a few minutes, five of which those seven minutes consisted of a slow makeout session as you came down from your highs. You could feel his eyes on you, so you turned to face him, giving him an awkward smile. “I’ll call an Uber.” You figured that’s why he was looking at you, and before you could exit the bed he grabbed your wrist.

“You hungry?” 

A pregnant pause.

“I could eat.”

—————————————————————————

Sitting in a Dennys at 2:00 AM is not how you expected your night to end. You and Donghyuck had spent the better part of an hour talking and getting to know each other. He was easy to talk to, and funny, you didn’t feel like you were forcing any of your reactions which made you feel a lot more at ease than usual.

“Wait, you're Haechan? The streamer?” Donghyuck nodded, shoveling a scoop of hash browns into his mouth. “That’s so fucking crazy, my best friend loves your streams. We used to fuck and I remember one time he got the notification for your stream and stopped mid fuck to watch you.” Donghyuck nearly choked on the strip of bacon he was munching on.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” You shook your head. “That’s so sick, did he at least like pick up where he left off while watching?” Another shake. 

“I had to push him on his back and ride him.” Donghyuck laughed loudly, catching the attention of most of the other late night eaters, but it was clear he didn’t care. 

“Now that I think about it, there was this one time I read a comment and it deadass said ‘I was fucking my girl and stopped to watch.’ I thought it was probably a troll, but that might’ve been him.”

You scoffed, shaking your head once again. “There’s no way that was him, he would never refer to me as ‘his girl’ it would be kind of funny if that was him though.” Donghyuck hummed in agreement, it was all he could do since he didn’t even know Jaehyun. 

There was a small awkward silence filled only with the sounds of plates clinking and light chatter from the other patrons. Donghyuck looked like he was having a debate with himself befofe hr finally opened his mouth. “Look, uhm, I don’t usually do this, I honestly don’t usually take my hookups to pre-breakfast either, but I was wondering if I could get your number?” 

You were a bit shocked. You thought maybe this was normal and Donghyuck was just one of those nice guys who treated his fucks to post coiatal meals. Hearing otherwise brought a bit of heat to your cheeks. 

“So uh… is that a no? Don’t leave me hanging here.”

“Oh no, wait no, I mean yes! Yes… you can have my number.” 

—————————————————————————

“You’ve been smiling at your phone a lot lately. You and big head aren’t fucking again right?” Minjeong was doing your nails on the floor of your dorm, and you were definitely making it hard since you were texting Donghyuck with the hand she was trying to get you to dry. 

“Of course not. I’m texting a new guy, I met him at that party me and Jae went to.” Minjeong perked up at the mention of a new guy. Talks like these reminded you of being a teenager, but they were always relaxing. You seriously owed Minjeong some girl time anyway with how far up Jaehyun’s ass you had been for the past year.

“So what’s his name?”

“Donghyuck, he goes here obviously, also get this, ” Minjeong leaned in “he’s that streamer that Jae likes a lot.”

“No way!?” Minjeong gasped, she accidentally swiped a little polish on your finger, but you didn’t mind.

You nodded, smiling basically ear to ear. “Yes way, and he’s so cute. He’s telling me how he wants to take me on a date this weekend!” You closed your phone to give Minjeong your undivided attention while she swiped acetone over her previous mistake.

“I’m happy for you, I know I was kind of an ass with all the ‘I told you so’, but I really just wanted you to be with  someone who treats you for what you’re worth.” You knew that, but hearing it felt really good. You always knew Minjeong was just looking out for you, but she also knew that whatever you felt for Jaehyun wasn’t going away like magic. Even now you sometimes felt a twinge of what you used to when he did certain things, but it wasn’t as strong as it was a month ago. 

“It’s ok Minnie, I know you only had my best interest.” You brought your nails hand up to blow on the wet polish. “Look on the bright side though, I went through all that and now I've learned my lesson. No more wasting time or energy on people who don’t deserve it.” 

Minjeong jostled your shoulder, “That’s my girl.”

—————————————————————————

 A week later you were with Donghyuck in his apartment, playing a co-op game called “it takes two” that he specifically bought for the date. He turned on his twitch to stream, but he left his mic off to enjoy the moment with you. He was ticking so many boxes and even Minjeong gave him the stamp of approval when he met her a couple hours ago. Everything today was perfect, he bought you flowers, ordered from your favorite takeout place and even surprised you with slippers for you to wear around the apartment. You had been seeing each other for about a month now so you figured he would be asking you to be his girlfriend soon, but you were in no rush. His gestures meant the world to you and even then just his presence was enough for you to feel satisfied. 

Now the two of you were snuggled up side by side, controllers in hand and your head on his shoulder. Nothing could ruin this moment, nothing except your phone which had been buzzing on the nightstand for a good two minutes. “Hey babe, I can pause if you wanna get that?” You looked up at Donghyuck with a small pout before shaking your head. You felt bad that whoever was calling you clearly didn’t get the memo that you were busy. 

“We can keep playing, I’ll talk and play, m’sorry.” Donghyuck waved it off as he waited for you to answer your phone. You rolled your eyes slightly when you saw Jaehyun’s photo, but still answered the facetime call. “What’s up loser?” You sounded less than enthused, but he should’ve expected that since you ignored his calls for two minutes. 

“God what crawled up your ass and died weirdo and why aren’t you showing your face?” Jaehyun scoffed as if his facetime screen wasn’t paused.

“Just the fact that you’ve been calling me for two minutes. What the fuck did you want? I’m kinda busy.” You cursed under your breath since you and Donghyuck failed the game stage for the fifth time. 

“First of all, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner and come watch a movie, I’ll buy obviously. Second of all, if you’re gonna lie about being busy at least make it believable, I can hear you playing a game in the background.” Jaehyun had some fucking nerve assuming you would lie to him about being busy, but you weren’t gonna fight about it. You were gonna be civil. Even though Donghyuck had heard the way you and Jaehyun talked to each other before, he was a little annoyed that the other man was accusing you of lying. 

“Jae, I’m on a date and we’re playing a game, so I actually am very busy. 

“Wait… are you playing ‘it takes two’?” Jaehyun didn’t know about Donghyuck. He knew you had been on dates, but since he didn’t ask who with, you didn’t bother telling him it was Donghyuck A.K.A. his favorite streamer. 

“Yeah, with my date.” You knew you sounded like a bitch, but you didn’t care. Jaehyun had barely been hanging out with you and even then it seemed like he only wanted to when he was bored. You were trying to follow Minjeong’s and your own advice and stop wasting time on people that don’t deserve it.

“If you’re actually playing a game with your date, show your face and his, then show the tv.” You were so close to hanging up on Jaehyun, but when you saw the screen pause and suddenly your phone was being held up by Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck didn’t look happy. All of the irritation must have been building up to a point where even Jaehyun looked concerned. “Look, Jaehyun, I get it, you’re bored. I’m sure you miss having Y/N at your beck and call because you knew she would drop anything for you before.” Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak, but one glare from Donghyuck had him closing it immediately. “Those times are past and whatever sick game you’re playing at needs to stop. Got it?” The silence on the line was loud, Donghyuck knew he made his point. “Good. Now I’m going to go back to playing games with my girlfriend, enjoy the stream Jaehyun.” With that he pressed the end call button with a sigh and immediately after you were straddling the man.

“Girlfriend huh?” 

Donghyuck set his controller down and placed his hands on your hips, it was all he could do to look cool despite the blush rushing his face. “Yeah uhm… I was going to ask you later during pillow talk after some earth shattering sex, but this is cool too I guess.” 

You giggled, placing a kiss on his cheek. “This is cool too, don’t worry. We can still have earth shattering sex but now as boyfriend and girlfriend.” It was Donghyuck’s turn to giggle now. “Do you want to keep playing, we could even turn on the mic?” 

Haechan shook his head, “No I think it’s time for that earth shattering sex we were talking about.” You bit your lip trying to suppress a laugh, he was so goofy and hot at the same time, you didn’t understand how anyone could be capable of that. 

“I think that can be arranged…boyfriend.”

—————————————————————————

“He told you off?” Mark nearly yelled, catching the attention of several of the other students in the library. 

“Dude keep it down, we’re in a library.” Johnny reminded before focusing back on his music theory assignment. 

“Sorry, he told you off?” Mark asked again this time in a more suitable whisper.

“Yes, and she didn’t say shit bro, she just let him.” Jaehyun grumbled, taking a chip from the bag Johnny had managed to smuggle in. 

Johnny was pretty unamused with the entire situation, given that he asked if the two men wanted to study in the library, but had basically been talking the whole time. “Have you ever thought that maybe she’s over how you treat her. I know you think you’re like bestie of the year, but you literally evaded her feelings for at least 6 months just so you would have an easy fuck.” 

Jaehyun scoffed, “Remind me to stop telling you about my problems.” Johnny simply rolled his eyes before training them back on the score in front of him. 

“I mean he has a point. You knew she caught feelings a while ago, and your agreement was to break it off, but you kept everything up. Plus you were the one who kept fucking with her and being all domestic, she’s probably traumatized.” Jaehyun shot a glare at Mark; he did not come here to be ganged up on.

“She can’t be but so traumatized since she spends all her time with Haechan, or Donghyuck, whatever the fuck his name is.” Mark and Johnny looked ready to hit their heads against the table, but clearly this was a delicate situation that needed to be nurtured and cared for so that Jaehyun would actually get some sense.

“Jae, buddy, pal, old friend if you will.”

“Get to the point Johnathan.” 

Johnny sighed, “See the point is, she’s in a relationship now. You had your 15 minutes of fame where she basically avoided getting into something because she was holding out hope for you. Now, she’s tired of waiting. She wants something that makes her feel loved and worth it and frankly, your bare minimum effort of taking her back to your place to watch a movie and then fuck, isn’t cutting it.”

“Bars.” Mark fist bumped Johnny, adding an explosion sound effect at the end.

“You guys are losers. She didn’t seem to be complaining about the movie and fuck a couple months ago.” Mark cringed and Johnny simply shook his head at the way their friend could so shamelessly talk about you like that.

“Jaehyun, listen to yourself, you sound delusional. She may not have been complaining, but that’s also because if she did you would’ve had to break all of that off. You’re acting like she broke up with you when the two of you weren’t even together in the first place.” Johnny’s volume was starting to increase, but he couldn’t help it, he wasn’t the closest to you, but he refused to let Jaehyun disrespect you like this. “Also you literally only text or call her now when we can’t hang out. Do you think that makes her feel good?” Jaehyun opened his mouth, but Johnny cut him off. “Don’t answer that because I know you’re about to say some bullshit. You need to get with the program and stop treating her like some play thing that you decide to pick up everytime your other toys are broken!” Johnny finished closing his laptop and packing up his belongings. 

“Dude, where are you going?” Jaehyun groaned before looking at Mark who was following in Johnny’s actions. “You too? Come on!”

Mark just shook his head, slinging his backpack over his shoulder before speaking again. “Dude, you have some serious soul searching to do. We don’t mind if you vent, but the way you talk about and treat her is sick.” Jaehyun just clicked his teeth in response to the younger man. 

“Whatever.” Jaehyun stood up from the table and stormed out of the library.

“He needs to get laid.” 

“Totally.” Mark agreed.

—————————————————————————

“How in the fuck do you remember all of these bones?” Donghyuck asked, leaning over from behind you at all the flash cards you had laid out. 

“I print out flashcards for all of them and corresponding pictures and play matching games.” You responded, matching the humerus card to its corresponding photo. Donghyuck puffed out a laugh before kissing you on the cheek and walking into the kitchen to assess what he could make for dinner.

“So do you want ramen or ramen tonight?” He asked, peeking out his head from behind the cabinet. 

“Oh, what about ramen? I saw a recipe for it the other day.” 

Donghyuck hummed while grabbing two packets out of the cabinet. “Sounds good!” 

You and Donghyuck had been spending a lot more time together since you officially got together. Most nights were spent at his apartment, to the point where he cleared out a drawer as well as closet space for some of your clothes. You hadn’t heard much from Jaehyun, but you weren’t surprised. You heard from Mark that he had been moody lately so you just figured he was in some funk he needed to get over. 

“Babe, how mad would you be if I got lazy and ordered chicken instead of cooking.” Donghyuck materialized behind you at some point, startling you. He laughed a little at your shocked state, not for long though as he brought his hands down to your shoulders and began massaging them, relieving all your tension. 

“I would be a little upset because you said I could pay for the next meal.” You craned your neck to look up at him, putting on your best pout. Donghyuck made a few dramatic facial expressions as if he was a cartoon character trying to resist something. You played along, jutting your bottom lip out farther and making your eyes bigger and as if you had shocked him he went flying back. You turned around to see him on the floor clutching his heart and couldn’t help but giggle at his dramatics.

“Girlfriend pout, very effective, health level critical.” Donghyuck made his voice more scratchy as he writhed around on the floor. He made eye contact with you and you shot him another pout which seemed to do it since he went limp on the floor, sticking his tongue out as an ending flourish. 

You stood up from the table and joined Donghyuck on the floor. You leaned down to connect your lips to his cheek and he sat up so quick you almost bumped foreheads. 

“Kiss of revival, full health restored!” 

“You’re such a dork.”

“Yeah your dork.” Donghyuck stated matter of factly you couldn’t help but nod in agreement as you placed another kiss on his lips this time. 

“Yes my dork, now do you want soy garlic or plain?” Donghyuck looked at you as if he was offended. “Soy garlic it is, go make some rice dork, I’ll order some kimchi too since we ran out.” 

“I like the sound of that.” Donghyuck hummed out, kissing your shoulder.

“Of course you do, it’s hard to forget how much you like kimchi, you’ve gone through two of those big ass jars in a month. It’s a bit concerning actually, how is your stomach not fucked up? 

Donghyuck made a sound of disagreement, which made you raise an eyebrow. Did he even hear anything you said?

“No not that, I liked when you said ‘we ran out’ s’cute, like we’re married.” You didn’t even realize you said that which made you blush, maybe you were getting a little too comfortable. 

Obviously Donghyuck didn’t mind, he seemed to like the pace you were moving at, and you did too, but you didn’t realize how easily you were slipping into the domesticated lifestyle. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was just surprising, you never thought you would act like that with anyone other than Jaehyun. Now that you were here and got to share it with someone that actually wanted you, it felt nice.

“Marriage is a little extreme.” You pulled up the delivery app on your phone, hoping the harsh light would conceal your blush.

“This early on, I suppose, yeah. After a year or two, though, maybe it won’t seem as extreme.” Donghyuck was now sitting behind you, his chin hooked over your shoulder. 

A small pause filled the air.

“Food’s ordered! I need to keep studying so you need to let go.”

Donghyuck whined loud and dramatically, the nasally sound which would probably be annoying to most made you smile. 

“Look, not all of us are nerdy CS majors.” You kissed his cheek before attempting to stand up and return to the table, but Donghycuk was weighing you down. “Hyuck, come on. The sooner you let me study, the sooner we can go to bed and cuddle.”

“What if I don’t want to cuddle?” His voice was suddenly darker which made you gulp a little.

“We can do that too, but not until I finish studying. The longer you keep me here, the longer you have to wait.” Donghyuck paused for a moment before ultimately letting you go. 

“You better give me the most mind boggling head later.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff as you sat back at the table, continuing your matching game. “I can do more than that, don’t worry. If you keep distracting me though, you won’t be getting anything.”  

“You wouldn’t dare.” Donghyuck was glaring at you from the sink where he was washing rice.

“Try me Donghyuck.”

It was all playful banter, but Donghyuck didn’t bother you after that. Unlike Jaehyun, he actually understood that you needed to pass your classes. You never realized how behind you always were until you were with Donghyuck. Anytime you needed to study he didn’t pressure you into keeping him entertained or rush your studying. Jaehyun did exactly the opposite and while it didn’t always bother you, there were definitely times you wished he wasn’t so pushy. 

After about 45 minutes your food finally arrived and you also felt like you were in a good enough position to stop studying. Your test was in a couple of days, but you needed to stay on top of everything so you didn’t fall behind. Donghyuck prepared both your plates while you put your flashcards away and the two of you ate in a comfortable silence before retiring to his room for the night . 

—————————————————————————

A month and a half later you were at another party. The end of the semester Greek life kickback was in full swing and Donghyuck of course knew a few people who were able to get the both of you in. Since you and Donghyuck were still together, you decided that you would spend your summer with him. Usually you would go home and Jaehyun would drive you to visit, but since the two of you hadn’t spoken since your last “fight” your plans changed. You and Donghyuck still planned to go home to introduce him to your parents at some point, but for now the two of you were basking in the last light of your honeymoon phase. 

Currently you and Donghyuck were outside by the fire pit, smushed together on a hammock as you nursed the shitty alcohol provided by the frat. You met a few of his friends that were in the frat, and all of you were enjoying the night together.

“Wait hold on, he took you out to denny's after and asked you out there?” Chenle, one of the frat brothers and Donghyuck’s friend, asked incredulously.

“Yes, I mean I just thought it was normal for him, but then he told me otherwise. It was kinda cute honestly.” You glanced over at Donghyuck who seemed less than amused with the topic.

“Dude you gotta work on your game.” Jeno commented, taking a sip from his cup.

“Where else was I gonna take her at 2 in the morning?” 

“He has a point.” Jaemin said from beside you. He was the reason you and Donghyuck were basically on top of each other on the hammock. 

“I mean maybe ask after sex like a normal person or order a pizza and ask. Who makes someone get up and go out after blowing their back out.” Chenle argued, spilling his drink slightly as he talked with his hands. 

“I was trying to impress her a bit, pizza is so cliche, also I was trying to make sure she didn’t dip after; pizza in the apartment gives someone the chance to dip.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle as they argued about you as if you weren’t there, but it was entertaining to watch them all go back and forth.

“Ok you have a point, she definitely could’ve dipped. Would you have dipped?” Chenle directed his attention back to you.

“I mean like you said I had just gotten my back blown out, so probably not.” 

“See! You could’ve done pizza.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes at his friend, but ultimately relinquished the fight by putting his hands up.

“I have to pee really quick, I’ll be back. Does anyone need another drink while I'm gone?” You asked as you struggled to stand up from the hammock.

“I’ll take one, just ask for one of the pitchers, they’ll give it to you if you mention my name.” You nodded at Jeno before making your way into the noisy house.

The music was so loud you could feel the house shaking around you, and pushing through all the sweaty bodies was making the experience all the more overwhelming. You knew there was a bathroom on the second floor that was only for frat members, but Jeno and Chenle told you no one would even notice you use it, let alone go upstairs. You regretted wearing a short dress since you had to pull it down with basically every step you took, but Donghyuck had gifted it to you, so it would’ve felt wrong not wearing it. After pushing through for about two minutes you finally saw the stairs, but before you could take the first step you felt someone grabbing your wrist.

“What the fuck!” You looked behind you to see who had the audacity and you almost wish you hadn’t. 

Jaehyun was there, holding your wrist before pulling you into his chest. He wrecked of alcohol and sweat, the smell leaving a sour taste in your mouth as you tried to pull away. 

“Y/N, I missed you. Where have you been?” His words were slurred and he wore a small smirk on his face. The same smirk that used to reel you in made you feel nothing, it honestly disgusted you. 

“With my boyfriend, now if you could let me go I need to pee.” 

“Still? Come on, we need to catch up.” Jaehyun’s grip on your wrist didn’t falter, no matter how much you tugged against his grip. 

“Jae, please let go.” You were trying to keep your voice firm, but you were starting to become distressed. You left your phone with Donghyuck so you couldn’t text him for help and the music was too loud to even think about screaming. You only had one option truthfully. “Jae, just let me use the bathroom and then we can talk.” Your ultimatum seemed to please him because he loosened his grip enough for you to slip away and up the stairs.

You locked the door immediately after you entered the bathroom. You hoped Jaehyun wasn’t so drunk that he wouldn’t try to come in, but you had no idea at this point. You looked across from the door, praying there was a window that you could yell out of to get your boyfriend’s attention, but when you were met with a white wall you lost all hope. For now you just focused on peeing, maybe Donghyuck would come inside and look for you after noticing how long you’d been gone. 

“Hurry up!” Loud banging on the door followed by Jaehyun’s slurred speech startled you as you were washing your hands. You hoped he hadn’t followed you, but of course he did, of course he was behind that door banging on it like a maniac. “If you don’t come out, I’m coming in!” 

You groaned loudly and opened the door, pulling the taller man in. He was still wearing that stupid smirk on his face as he looked down at you.

“You’re still so easy.”

“What?”

You couldn’t believe your ears. It really was a game to him at this point. He sounded completely sober, was he playing you this entire time?

“You sure you like this guy, you opened that door pretty easily. Just admit that you wanted to mess around like old times, I won’t be mad.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you as he spoke, cornering you to the point that your back was painfully pressed against the sink. “Let’s just start again, I’m sure you got over what was going through your head back then. Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss me, miss being my girl?” He leaned in closer and you could feel your breaths mingling the closer he got to you.

You a few months ago might’ve reacted differently. You probably would’ve kissed him and fallen into his sheets just like every other time. Would’ve gone back to your dorm and cried to Minjeong and Ten like a baby. You were tired of falling and crying though. Tired of letting Jaehyun constantly have his way with you because he knew you would never say no.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Using all your strength you pushed him off. “You do not get to ghost me for almost two months and then suddenly decide you want me back in your life. You’re a selfish piece of shit who only wants to be around me when you’re bored or horny!” Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “I’m happy with Donghyuck and I'm sorry you can’t accept that, but it’s the truth. I’m not leaving him anytime soon and even if I did it won’t be for you.”

“You say that, but I’m sure when he breaks your heart like all the others, you’ll be back in my bed.”

“Fuck you!” You seethed before storming out of the bathroom. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes. You felt so stupid, at least you stood up for yourself, but he still knew how to play you like a fiddle and it infuriated you. 

You couldn’t make it all the way down the stairs before bumping into someone’s chest. You mumbled a quick apology as you tried to pull away but a pair of hands held firmly at your shoulders. Not again was all you could think as you tried to push whoever was holding you. “Get the fuck off!” You sounded like you were throwing a tantrum, but you had hit your limit after being cornered and then belittled by your so-called best friend.

 “Hey, babe, it’s just me, calm down? You were gone for a while and I got worr— hey why are you crying?” Ducking your head was the best attempt you could make at trying to hide from Donghyuck. It was futile but you didn’t want to really relive the things Jaehyun had said to you. “Baby, what happened?” 

“Nothing, let’s go back outside.” 

Donghyuck grimaced, but didn’t push any further as he took your hand. Pushing through the sweaty bodies wasn’t as bad this time with his hand warm in yours. You were scared Jaehyun would catch up with you in the kitchen, but hopefully he wouldn’t cause a scene seeing you with Donghyuck. Finally the two of you were back outside with Donghyuck’s friends. The air thankfully didn’t shift, despite your mood and it made it easier to take your mind off of what had happened earlier. 

—————————————————————————

“So you gonna tell me what happened up there?”  

The blinking from the turn signal felt much louder in the silence of the car. Red illuminated the car like a spotlight and it was pointed on you. You could either stay silent and pretend to sleep like you had been doing the entire ride home, or speak and confirm what Donghyuck already knew.

“It was stupid.” 

“You’re such a liar. Clearly it wasn’t that stupid if you won’t talk about it.” 

Silence.

He was right, to you it wasn’t stupid it sucked, but you didn’t want to get Donghyuck riled up. You knew if you told him he’d get pissed, although there was nothing he could do now since the part and Jaehyun were so far behind you.

“It was just Jae being an ass again. That’s all.” 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten. 

“What did he do?” 

“Donghyuck it’s fin-”

“What did he do!?”

 You couldn’t help but flinch. His tone was harsh; it was the first time he’d ever raised his voice at you.  

“I’m not angry at you. I just want to know what happened.” Donghyuck sighed, features softening as he rubbed a stress-filled hand down his face. “I’m tired of him disrespecting you and our relationship.” 

“If I tell you… what are you gonna do?” Jaehyun was still your best friend at the end of the day. He pissed you off but no matter how horrible he was you couldn’t help but care for him. 

“It depends on what he did.” He glanced over at you just as the light turned green. 

Now your red spotlight was being replaced by spotty harsh yellows and whites as you drove through the sleepy streets of your college town. It was still yours despite the erratic flickering, but it felt more like an interrogation light they way it would suddenly flash on and off.

“I mean it’s like you said, he disrespected me and our relationship…” Maybe this would be enough for him?

“Y/N, stop being vague.”

A sigh and another awkward pregnant silence filled the space.

“He pretended he was drunk and tried to kiss me after cornering me in the bathroom.” You wouldn’t dare look at Donghyuck. Even though you didn’t cheat you still felt so dirty letting Jaehyun talk to you like that. You didn’t understand why you thought you’d be able to have a civil conversation  with the way he’s been acting lately. Some part of you kept holding out hope that things could go back to how they were in high school, but each day that went by proved that it could never be the same.

“When we get home, I want his number.” 

“Hyuck, it’s over, can we please drop it?”

You didn’t even notice that you were now parked in the garage under his apartment. 

“No, I already told you I’m tired of him disrespecting you.” You could tell he was trying his best not to raise his voice. “I’m tired of him acting like a child just because he’s upset at something he did. You didn’t break things off, he did, so he can’t be upset at you for moving on.”  

“I know…I just-”

“You just what? You just don’t want to hurt his feelings? Because he’s, oh let me guess: your best friend?” You opened your mouth, but Donghyuck’s voice was filling the suffocating space instead of your own. “ He’s not your best friend anymore Y/N, if anything he's more like a frenemy. He only cares about you when it benefits him. Wake up!”

You felt like you were being choked by the truth. You knew he was right, but your stupid pride didn’t want to admit that. Jaehyun cared about you, he was just being weird. Granted he had been weird since you started fucking, but that was the besides the point. He had to still care about you deep down, a friendship like yours can’t just fall apart like that. Can it? 

“Look I’m not gonna keep lecturing you, but I’m also not gonna take shit like this lightly. You and Jaehyun need to have a conversation about this shit, because the next time it happens, I will beat his ass.” Donghyuck slammed the door leaving you alone in the car. Alone with your thoughts and your phone. 

Ring

Ring

Ring

“Hello?”

“Jae…”

“Hmm?”

“We need to talk.”

—————————————————————————

“So Y/N is spending the break with her boyfriend?” 

Jaehyun didn’t want to hear about you anymore. Your talk didn’t go bad per say, but his guilty conscience wouldn’t get any better the more you were talked about. The talk was filled with tears and apologies, and ultimately Jaehyun agreed to give you some space. After some much needed reflecting he realized that Johnny and Mark were ultimately right, which he hated to admit, but deep down he always knew they were.

“Yeah, they really hit it off, she told me she's visiting next month though.” Jaehyun answered, pushing around the large shell noodles on his plate, as if something new would appear underneath the creamy sauce the plate was drenched in. 

“Oh good, I’ll give her mom a ring and see if we could have a nice dinner all together? I’d love to meet this boy, he sounds lovely based on what Y/MN (your mother’s name)  has told me!” He loved that his mother was excited for you, it was only natural. She considered you like the daughter she never had, and you considered her like your second mother. 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Honey, you’ve been off since you got home, what’s wrong?” Curse mother’s intuition. 

“I just messed up. Me and Y/N had a falling out, but it was my fault.” The fork made an ugly screech across the plate. “Mom…I think I’m in love with her.”

The gasp of shock he was expecting never came so Jaehyun was finally forced to meet gazes with his mom.

“Oh sweetie…I know. I’ve known for a long time.” He didn’t know why he expected her not to. Moms always know when somethings up. “Jae, your lack of dating through college was enough evidence. Also I was young once too, playing footsies under the table and then going on a “walk” is not the most amazing cover up.” 

Jaehyun groaned, wishing he could disappear, but he should’ve known his mother was more perceptive than he gave her credit for. “Please try to forget about that, but yeah we had a fling, kind of, it's complicated.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaehyun only nodded in response. “I’ll bring out some dessert and tea.” 

True to her word Jaehyun was now sitting with a large piece of cake and a steaming cup of tea, while recounting some of his very shameful behavior to his mother. 

“And now we’re not really talking much. I check on her here and there, but we don’t call like we used to. We haven’t hung out one on one in months truthfully.” Jaehyun was treating his cake almost like his half eaten pasta at the moment, smushing it around like a child who didn’t want to eat their veggies.

“I don’t blame her for not talking to you honestly.” His mother sighed, taking a small sip from her tea. “You do have a good one though, you’re lucky she hasn’t cut you off.” 

“I know… I just don’t know what to do though. Like I'm just supposed to let her slip from my fingers and be fine with it?”

Mrs. Jeong clicked her tongue and gave her son a knowing look. “I mean yeah. You had your chance to make her yours and I think she gave you more than enough time to get your head out of your ass.” Jaehyun could only nod as he waited for the next onslaught of lectures. “Look baby, you’re just gonna have to be happy for her. It sucks and it’s probably never not going to suck, but if you care for her you’ll wait for her.” 

“But what if they like, last longer and he proposes or something?” 

Another knowing look and a sad smile.

“Then you’re just gonna have to accept it. She went and found something that makes her feel wanted, you can’t blame her for wanting that forever.” 

No mother wanted this for their son, but she also wasn’t going to lie to him. Jaehyun knew that, he always did, but some part of him wanted to be babied and told it would be ok, even if it wasn’t.

—————————————————————————

Finally you were venturing home to visit as well as introduce Donghyuck to your family. You weren’t terribly nervous, but you could tell that Donghyuck was. He had spent all week picking out the perfect clothes to wear in front of your family, as well bought gifts for your mother and father. You kept reassuring him that it wasn’t necessary, but he just couldn’t fathom walking into your house empty handed. 

“Donghyuck, the gifts you got are enough, you don’t need to buy flowers and a cake.” 

“I can’t show up empty handed to a potluck! Also the flowers are a housewarming gift.” He had his hands pressed against the glass of the cake display, looking at all the various options he could choose from. 

“Baby, they’ve lived in that house for twenty years, so you’re about two decades late for housewarming. “

“Should we get ganache or buttercream? Actually don’t answer that, I'm getting both.” 

You rolled your eyes, but relented in your efforts to stop him. Donghyuck clearly had his mind made up on how to impress your parents, and you weren’t going to burst his bubble. Your parents already liked him from how highly you spoke of him, but if this would ease his mind you weren’t going to ruin his fun.

“Y/N, welcome home darling! Oh, and you must be Donghyuck, I’ve heard so much about you!” Your mother welcomed both of you with kisses on your cheeks and tight hugs. 

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Y/LN (your last name).” Donghyuck ever the charmer handed the large bouquet to your mother as well as a small box. She opened it and gasped at the pearl earrings held inside. “I hope they’re to your liking, I can always exchange them for something different-“

“Oh sweetheart they’re wonderful, please don’t fret. Come on, let’s go join everyone else.” 

Your mother led you and Donghyuck out to the backyard where the whole neighborhood seemed to be in attendance. You made your rounds, saying hi to all the attendees and introducing Donghyuck whose nerves seemed to melt the more he talked. After what felt like an hour of talking (more like 20 minutes), you finally got an opportunity to talk to your father. He seemed more than pleased with Donghyuck and the watch that he was gifted by him. 

“This one’s a keeper, Y/n, don’t fumble.” Your fathers attempt at whispering was pretty poor so you rolled your eyes in response before shooting an apologetic look at your boyfriend. Donghyuck found it amusing though. It was a relief to know all your family liked him so far. Your neighbors seemed charmed as well which was doing wonders for not only his nerves but his ego as well.

“So how did you two meet?” Your father took a swig of his beer while flipping over one of the hamburger patties on the grill. He was definitely one of the best multitaskers you knew, especially when there was alcohol or grilling involved.

“At a party, he wined and dined me at a Denny's afterwards.” You smiled at Donghyuck, leaning against his arm. You could feel a pair of eyes on you as you talked to your father, but chose to ignore it. 

“I promise we went on better dates afterwards.” Your father seemed amused at your boyfriend's hurried tone. It was cute Donghyuck felt like he had something else to prove. You knew he had already won your parents over, especially since you gushed so much about him over the phone to your mother; but he was in the right to feel a bit nervous still. “We’re actually going on a skiing trip for winter break, some of my extended family owns the lodge we’re staying at.” That was new to you. You looked up at him in disbelief and Donghyuck simply winked at you, his little way of saying “surprise”. 

“Is your family rich?” Your dad sure was subtle. 

“We come from a bit of old money, but I do work myself. I’m slated to take over the IT division of my uncle’s company after I graduate.” Your dad seemed very intrigued and so were you. Donghyuck wasn’t usually one to brag which is probably why this was the first time you were hearing any of this. You knew Donghyuck was a hard worker and he didn’t like talking handouts, even his tuition was covered by a scholarship and not his mom. You weren’t sure how much his mom made, but he had told you she was an entrepreneur and she made enough to cover his school, but he refused. His hardworking attitude was one of the things you loved about Donghyuck. Even though he found school relatively easy, he refused to do a stream or even relax until all his work was done for the week. It led to a lot of all-nighters, to the point where he would finally join you in bed when you were about to get up for the day, but it left more time for the two of you to be together at the end of the week. 

“You sound like you have a bright future ahead of you son, good for you.” You could see Donghyuck practically preen at the praise, which made you giggle a little. “Now then make sure you keep this one in line, also a ring on that finger in six months would be great!” You were seriously gonna punch your dad later.

“If she’ll have me, I’ll make it happen” You gawked at Donghyuck. You didn’t understand how he could so casually talk about marriage when the two of you had only been together for a few months. Sure you’d been to a few of Jaehyun’s friends' weddings, he was about to graduate after all so it was normal for people his age to get married. You, however, felt way too young to even be flirting with the thought of marriage. 

“Ok that’s enough you two, I don’t need you giving him any more ideas.” You pulled Donghyuck away to go make small talk with the few neighbors you hadn’t greeted yet. One of them was unfortunately Jaehyun, but it felt wrong to not at least say “hi.” 

Donghyuck was in fine spirits, but the moment he realized where you were pulling him, his happy demeanor frosted over into a glare. Jaehyun had no idea the two of you were even venturing over, but you wanted to keep it that way. Hopefully Donghyuck would be civil, once you approached him, but you knew that glare would throw everything off immediately. You nudge your boyfriend to fix his face before tapping on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun turned around slightly confused, but replaced his shock with a tight lip smile. You glanced at Donghyuck just to make sure he wasn’t still glaring, and thankfully he wasn’t but he wasn’t wearing the most pleasant expression either.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Jaehyun asked awkwardly.

Before you could answer, Donghyuck placed a protective arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his side. You shot a small glare at him, because you understood he had his qualms about Jaehyun, but you hoped he could at least be civil for five minutes. 

“It’s going well, just making my rounds with Hyuck. What about you? How’s your summer going?” You did your best to pretend like your boyfriend and your ex friend with benefits, weren’t currently having a silent battle, but it was proving to be quite difficult. You don’t know why you have a thing for strong personalities, but clearly it’s biting you in the ass currently.

“It’s going fine. How’s your summer? Enjoying your honeymoon?”

Oh fuck.

“It’s going great, our summer and our “honeymoon.”” Donghyuck bit back at Jaehyun, moving his hand down lower so it was resting practically on your ass. You didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s eyes followed his hand.

You had to admit it was kinda hot seeing Donghyuck annoyed and the possessiveness was also a bit of a turn on. However, you weren’t gonna continue to let the two have a petty war over nothing. You and Jaehyun talked and agreed to be civil and hopefully rekindle your friendship, but you knew Donghyuck wasn’t entirely happy about that. So you could understand why Donghyuck was acting this way, but Jaehyun was being a bit ridiculous, in your opinion.

“Guys, can we not?” 

“Can we not, what? We’re just having a nice conversation.” You threw Donghyuck a scandalized look. You understand why he was pissed at Jaehyun, but you weren’t gonna let him take that tone with you. 

“Jae, we’ll be back.” You wave the older goodbye before dragging Donghyuck inside and upstairs. You found the nearest bedroom, not caring if it was the guest room before locking it. “You’ve lost your fucking mind.” You didn’t mean to snap at him but you were so frustrated with all the petty bullshit.

“You can’t be serious right now.” Donghyuck huffed out. “I’m out of my fucking mind? Did you not just hear him disrespecting us once again?” Donghyuck had a point but you just wished for once he would be the bigger person instead of letting Jaehyun under his skin immediately. “Why do I always have to yield to his douchery?” 

“Donghyuck, it’s just easier if you don’t give him a reaction. He’s bitter and hurt, he’s working through it.” 

Your boyfriend pokes his tongue on the inside of his cheek, chuckling ruefully at you. “He’s bitter and hurt? Well he wouldn’t be if he actually treated you like you were worth something! It’s not my fault that I actually give you what you were looking for! I shouldn’t have to be his fucking punching bag!” 

“If anyone is his punching bag it’s fucking me!” 

You were both screaming and you were sure anyone close enough to the window could hear you two. Clearly this was something that needed to be addressed, again. 

“You’re not the one who’s been harassed and made to feel like shit by their own best friend, for months, just because I found something better.” Here came the tears of course. You hated crying during these conversations but everything just seemed to come out no matter how hard you tried to hold back. “I’ve been trying to fix shit, on both ends. And I know you don’t see it but he’s been trying.” Donghyuck looked skeptically at you, but he knew you weren’t done so he didn’t comment. “He wants to be able to be in a room with us and not feel like absolute shit, but it’s just kinda hard for him.” You sighed, because you knew what you were about to tell Donghyuck wasn’t a surprise, but he hated hearing it. “He came to the conclusion that he is in love with me and has been for a while, but didn’t want to admit it. I know he fucked up and lost his chance, he knows that too, but watching someone you love be happy with someone that isn’t you is hard.” You shot a pointed look. “Even you have to admit that.”

Donghyuck sighed. He did know that was hard. He watched it happen in high school to one of his friends. Which is probably why this whole thing made him so angry, it just felt like a repeat but instead of being a bystander, he was in the middle. 

“Ok yeah, you’re right. I’ll give him some grace.” You felt sort of relieved that Donghyuck was willing to yield at least this once, but you weren’t going to take his kindness for granted. If Jaehyun ever truly stepped out of line as bad as he did at the frat you would end your friendship entirely. That was something you promised to Donghyuck that same night. Aside from that though, Jaehyun said he was going to do his best to be a good sport, and while he was off to a bad start, you hoped he would at least apologize later. 

Donghyuck engulfed you into a nice bear hug that you couldn’t help but smile and giggle at. He gave the best hugs and always seemed to know when you needed one. “We’re ok, I’m sorry for being rude out there, especially towards you.” 

“It’s ok. I’m sorry I snapped at you that was uncalled for.” 

“It’s ok, I know you just want me and bighead to get along.” Lord, he's been spending way too much time with Minjeong lately. 

“Alright Minjeong Jr., let’s get back out there.”

Just as you opened the door you came face to chest with Jaehyun who had his fist raised up. He must’ve been about to knock, but as always your weird friend-sense seemed to beat him to it.

“Hey, I just came to apologize.” 

“It's all cool man, I’m sorry too.” You were a little surprised Donghyuck apologized, but honestly it made you happy that there was a possibility the two of them could get along. “Also, I don’t know if this is too much to ask, but would you maybe want to game sometime?”  That surprised you even more.

“Like all of us, or just you and me?” Jaehyun seemed surprised too, but clearly wasn’t entirely opposed.

“Just you and I. She refuses to play Overwatch and we need another player for our team. Who do you main?” 

“Cassidy” Jaehyun finally cracked a small smile on what felt like ages. 

“Nice, we’ve been needing another DPS on our team, you down to join?” Donghyuck asked cooley, bringing his hand up to dap up the other man. 

“Yeah, just shoot me a message whenever.” Jaehyun pulled out his phone, swiping through until he found discord. 

“Real, we’re going home in a few days, so maybe we can play then if you’re back too.” 

You felt like a third wheel at this point. You knew if the two ever found a middle ground it would definitely be gaming. 

“Sure, I should be back like a day after yall I think.

“Sounds great.”

—————————————————————————

Donghyuck and Jaehyun had been texting for almost an hour now and you were starting to feel like it was a bad idea that they exchanged contact info. Not because they were fighting, but because they were getting along a little too well. 

Donghyuck had been giggling at his phone like a schoolgirl the whole time, while you just laid next to him scrolling on your own phone. “I can’t believe we were beefing before. You did this on purpose.” 

You gawked at your boyfriend, scandalized that he would even accuse you of that. “Hyuck I did not! You think I would make up that shit about him harassing me at the frat party?” 

A skeptical look.

“Unbelievable.” You flopped backwards onto the bed. “My boyfriend is gonna leave me for my old situationship slash best friend.” You threw your hand over your face dramatically. Trying to gain some sort of leverage over Donghyuck.

“You’re right, I am.” Donghyuck supplied, still typing away at his phone. 

Scoffing, you tried to peek at what the two were talking about. “What is he even saying to have you this enraptured? I’m literally laid out all nice for you and you’re not even interested.” You weren’t really wearing anything special, but you were wearing one of Donghyuck’s oversized shirts and some nice panties, which usually would’ve caught his attention by now. 

“Babe that’s nasty, your parents are literally down the hall. Also we’re talking about genshin, since you refuse to play that too.” He did have a point about your parents, but you could be quiet… sometimes. “Besides we have all summer for that, I do still enjoy seeing you in my shirts if that’s what you’re worried about though.” He placed a small kiss on your temple, trying his best to reassure you.

“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you and big head talking about my deepest darkest secrets.” You knew Donghyuck was better than that, but sometimes Jaehyun wasn’t. You learned from Mark that sometimes Jaehyun didn’t know when to shut his mouth about you and sex. It wasn’t entirely embarrassing since sex was normal, but you also didn’t like your business to be aired out like that. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll only make fun of you when you’re around to defend yourself.” Donghyuk was suddenly above you, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. “Besides, I’m too possessive. Only I get to talk about you like that, and I'll keep it that way.” You were starting to regret not booking a hotel like Donghyuck initially suggested. He was practically purring as he spoke and the words were going straight to your core.

“Are you sure we can’t mess around a little… I’ll be quiet.” 

The laughter that spilled out of Donghyuck was infectious, you knew it was a ridiculous request but no one could blame you trying. 

“You’re unbelievable, It’s only two more days. Think about how good the sex will be.

“It could be good now.” You pouted up at him through your lashes.

“Well I'd like to be invited back in the future, so you’re just gonna have to wait.” He kissed your pout away just as quick as it appeared, smiling down at you softly when he pulled back. 

You loved moments like this, moments where it just felt like you and Donghyuck. Moments where you’d lightly trace your fingers over his moles, connecting them like constellations. 

“Fine, I’ll wait, but don’t expect me to lift a single finger.” 

Donghyuck simply rolled his eyes before rolling back over next to you. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He yawned, pulling you closer to his frame.

—————————————————————————

The fall semester was finally here and it was a shit show. You started your nursing internship at one of the local hospitals and instead of challenging classes taking up the majority of your time, it was now strenuous shifts there. You weren’t working 80 hours like most nurses, but the majority of your days were spent at the hospital. And when you weren’t working you were sleeping. You were honestly glad Donghyuck and Jaehyun were gaming buddies now, because you didn’t have the energy to or time to pay as much attention to Donghyuck as you wished. He was being a good sport through it all, but you could tell your lack of intimacy and time together was starting to take a toll on him.

Now it was 2am and you were punching in the six digit code to Donghyuck’s apartment. Even though you still had a dorm with Minjeong you felt some part of Donghyuck was fulfilled when he woke up next to you. So here you were after your 10 minute walk in the cool, early morning, August air. Your scrubs felt and probably smelled dank against your body and you were so thankful that this weekend would probably be spent in Donghyuck oversized shirts and your own shorts while you caught up on sleep and time together. 

Upon entering the house you made a beeline for the shower, wanting to wash all the sterile hospital smell off of you. You were in the infant ward today so most of your day was spent cooing at babies as well as checking their vitals. You changed a few diapers, helped a few mothers, all in all it wasn’t as intense as some other days this week. It was honestly a nice break. It still didn’t change the fact that you were exhausted though. The hot water was working wonders on your aching body, but you honestly didn’t know how much longer you could stand. Deciding on just a body shower you quickly lathered and rinsed yourself before turning off the steaming shower head. You blindly reached your hand out for your towel. All you could feel was the slightly dewy metal of the towel rack before you finally made contact with the fluffy cloth and something else. Something that felt warm and familiar.

“What are you doing up?” You questioned who you hoped was your boyfriend and not some stranger who followed you home amidst your post shift delirium. You were patting your face dry, so you couldn’t really see Donghyuck behind the towel or

the steam that covered the glass of the shower door.

“I was gaming. I wanted to make sure you got here safely.” You could hear the fatigue in his voice. Donghyuck rarely stayed up late, which was surprising since most gamers tended to have a horrible sleeping schedule. Donghyuck was the exception though, opting to wake up in the morning hours to get his homework and other errands out of the way and saving his nights for streams that ran no later than 11:00pm. When you had a normal sleeping schedule, this worked very well for both of you, but now it made you upset that he felt the need to derail his own sleep just for you.

“Thank you for waiting up, it means a lot. Don’t make a habit of it though, I want you to sleep. You shouldn’t stay up just for me.” You stepped out of the shower, the towel now wrapped around your frame. The steam cleared and there was Donghyuck in his overtired glory. Eyelids so droopy you were worried he would fall asleep standing up. “Did you at least take a nap?” You crossed the bathroom until you were standing in front of him, cupping his face before planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

Donghyuck shook his head. “I woke up late today.” 

You wanted to counter that statement since Donghyuck never slept past 10am, but decided to leave it alone. You were grateful he waited for you. It was nice knowing you would fall asleep in his arms and not just impossibly close to his frame for comfort. 

“You can go, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” 

Another shake. 

You knew there was no point in pushing it so you got dressed and finished up the rest of your night time routine as quickly as possible. When you and Donghyuck finally fell into the sheets together, it was a little past 2:30. You were a mess of tangled limbs and tacky skin as you tried to find a comfortable position to cuddle in and once you did both you and Donghyuck released a contented sigh. 

“This internship sucks.” Donghyuck sighed, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your neck.

“I know, but it’s only one semester. I’ll be all yours for graduation.” You did your best to speak through a yawn that Donghyuck caught after you.

“It’s not enough, it should be illegal for you to be at the hospital that long.” 

“Well I’m also sleeping for a lot of that time.” You tried to reason.

“Shhh, blame the hospital, not your body’s needs.” Donghyuck’s words were starting to slur, a true testament to how tired he actually was. The fact that he had managed to stay up this late was impressive enough, but you knew in seconds if not minutes you’d be hearing soft snores. “You’re off this weekend right?” You couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He’s asked that at least three times this week, it was cute, almost like he was in disbelief that he’d actually get to spend time with you. “It’s not funny. I only get to see you when you’re sleeping, it’s kinda creepy.” 

“Ew, you watch me when I sleep?” 

“You’re lucky I just watched, the amount of times I wanted to draw a mustache on you is a bit concerning.” Donghyuck yawned again, snuggling closer to your back.

“You’re terrible.” Was all you could muster as you finally let sleep win, drifting off into a much needed slumber.

—————————————————————————

“Dude, we’re being eaten alive over here, where are you?” Donghyuck whisper-shouted into his headset. You were still sleeping so he was trying his best to control his volume, but his team was getting beat so bad that he wanted to scream. 

“There’s a fucking sniper on my ass, everytime I step out they shoot at me.” Jaehyun yelled into his headset, groaning as another attempt at aiding his team was thwarted by the widowmaker that had him in their sights.

“Fuck they got Jeno again.” Jisung cursed.

“Jae just throw a flashbang at the building, it’ll at least stun them.” Donghyuck seethed into the mic. He looked back at the bed to make sure you were still soundly asleep and in that one moment. he was gunned down with his fellow teammates. “Fuck!” Donghyuck quickly covered his mouth, beating himself up when he heard you stir in bed. He didn’t mean to yell, but unfortunately at the end of the day he was a gamer, a very passionate gamer.

“What time is it?” You groaned quietly, craning your head slightly to get a better view of your boyfriend. 

“It’s a little past noon, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to yell.” Donghyuck could hear the guys making fun of him through his headset, but chose to ignore it.

“S’okay. You playing with the guys?” You stretched in bed, arching your back in an attempt to wake up.

“Yeah, you wanna say hi?” 

You made an affirmative sound before pulling the gaming chair from the desk Donghyuck bought for you. The desk was for school, but he argued that a gaming chair was more comfortable than a regular rolling chair. 

You grabbed the second headset Donghyuck also bought for you, so you could talk to the guys while he gamed. “Good morning…” You yawned into the mic, leaning your head back on the headrest of the chair.

“Hi Y/N!” A chorus of deep voices chirped back.

“How’s the internship going?” Jeno piped up, healing Donghyuck in the process.

“It’s going fine, I like it a lot. I’m just tired… all the time. Next week I go on day shift though, so I’ll have a decent sleeping schedule.” You could see the way Donghyuck was grinning at that information. It had been a long time since the two of you had a normal sleeping schedule and even if this was only for a few weeks, he would be happy with what he could get.

“Any hot doctors, or are you still into mr. loser?” Jaehyun jabbed. In the past that would probably be something that you and Donghyuck wouldn’t laugh at. As of now though all the bad blood was gone and you could comfortably joke like you used to with Jaehyun. It made you happy that he and Donghyuck could get along and that you and Jaehyun were slowly patching up your own relationship.

“No, I still love mr. loser, that might change in a few wee— Babe on your left!” 

“Fuck yeah!” With your help he was able to gun down one of the enemies and get the kill count almost even. “What the fuck how did you even see them?” Donghyuck didn’t understand why you didn’t want to play Overwatch when you had such good eye coordination. Even if you couldn’t play fps  games,you could at least heal or provide support. 

“I don’t know, I thought they were pretty obvious.” You shrugged, stealing a sip from the coffee next to his keyboard. “Did you get me any?” Donghyuck nodded, motioning to the bedside table. You planted a quick peck on his cheek before retrieving the caffeinated beverage and your phone. “Did you eat yet?” 

“No, there’s no food though…” Donghyuck replied sheepishly. Unfortunately when your sleep schedule was shitty, so was his. The usual time your boyfriend would go get groceries was now nap time while the rest was focused on school or streaming.

“I’ll order something, don’t worry.”

—————————————————————————

Another end of semester frat party is where you found yourself tonight. Your internship had ended a few days ago and after some much needed rest you were ready to kick back with Donghyuck and your friends. Currently you and Donghyuck were in a heated game of beer pong against Minjeong and Ten. At this point both teams had three cups left, it could be anyone’s game— you were determined to make it yours. 

“Go to the left a little- too far… there you go.” Donghyuck had been your coach all game and you two probably looked sickening. He was standing directly behind you, one hand on your waist, the other on your throwing arm. Ten and Minjeong claimed you were cheating, but you begged to differ since you were the one actually throwing. “Go ahead, baby.”

Cautiously you moved your arm back and forth to get the right angle, once you were satisfied you let the ball go. The ball bounced once before sinking nicely into the cup full of beer across the table. Ten and Minjeong exchanged equally unimpressed looks before rock, paper, scissoring over who would have to chug the beer. Ten lost for what was now the third time in a row and begrudgingly downed the drink. 

It was now Donghyuck’s turn and with ease he managed to land the ball in the second to last cup. Ten and Minjeong looked scared now. There was one cup left and while it could still be anyone’s game— Donghyuck had the ball. 

“Can she just chug this and end it?” Ten asked, wanting to spare himself the humiliation of possibly throwing up. 

“Nope.” With that simple deceleration the ball was

sunk in the cup. 

—————————————————————————

After cup pong you and Donghyuck took to the dance floor before he decided he wanted to do karaoke. He was singing an amazing rendition of “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO. While you enjoyed watching him, the stuffy atmosphere of the frat was starting to make you feel a bit light headed. 

“I’m gonna step outside for a bit!” You shouted at Jeno before making your way towards the back door. Sliding the glass door open made you release a sigh of relief when you felt the chill of winter air against your skin. Thankfully a cropped puffer was a part of your less than winter appropriate party outfit, so you at least had something to keep you warm. 

When the chill started to become a problem you moved to sit by the fire. Warming up your fingers and legs as you appreciated the quiet crackling as opposed to loud bass you could still hear thudding on the house. You sat there for a moment with your thoughts and the fire as your only company before you heard the back door slide open. You didn’t bother craning your neck, figuring it was some random party goer searching for the same solace you were just a few minutes ago. 

“I didn’t think I’d find you out here.” Jaehyun sat in the chair next to you, beer slung loosely in his hand. He tipped the bottle towards, but you declined. You had way too much during your beer pong game and you were just now starting to sober up. “Surprised you aren’t watching your boyfriend’s performance. He’s doing a pretty good rendition of “Billie Jean.”” 

“I was, but I needed some air, we pregammed here so I’ve been in the house for a while.”

 Jaehyun hummed, taking a swig of his beer before returning his gaze to the fire. “So next semester will be your one year, right?”

“Yeah, mid april, kinda hard to believe.” The conversation was awkward. Jaehyun was definitely holding something back, but as always he seemed too stubborn to admit it. “Is there something on your mind, you’re being weird.”

“You’re too intuitive, sometimes.” He chuckled, had still fixed on the fire as if looking at you would turn him to stone. “I don’t know how to say this without making you upset.” 

That confused you. The two of you haven’t fought and neither has he or Donghyuck lately, so this was odd. 

“What do you mean— why would I get upset?”

“I think I’m still in love with you.” 

Your breath halted for a moment. Now it was your turn to stare into the fire. You don’t know what you were expecting, but it surely wasn’t this. In the Eight months that you two had cut things off

you were very confident in the fact that you had no romantic feelings for Jaehyun whatsoever. This didn’t necessarily throw a curveball at you, honestly it made you kinda angr— oh, that’s what he meant.

“Jae… this isn’t- we’re not doing this again.” How could you say this without blowing up? “If you said this to me 7 months ago, I probably would’ve dropped everything and ran back to you.” You sighed deeply, blinking back tears you didn’t even realize were forming. “I’m happy now… I really love Donghyuck. I love you too, but not in that way anymore.” You were crying now, but you didn’t know why. In a way this was the closure you always wanted, but not what you expected him to say.

“I don’t want you to drop everything… I just…” He took a deep sigh. “I wanted to tell you, so that I can get over you.” 

“You want me to reject you?” You looked at him dumbfounded.

“More or Less, yeah.” 

You sniffled as you tried your best to compose yourself. “This is not how I wanted to get my closure, but whatever.” Chuckling a bit you took a deep breath, “Jae, I don’t love you as more than a friend. I’m happy with Donghyuck, and I can genuinely see us lasting for a long time.” You felt so stupid saying that, but you also felt somewhat relieved hearing it out loud. “Was that good enough?”

“That was perfect.” 

Taglist: @snapcracklen, @peachesmilk, @clblnz, @ahgazen, @dulyrana

[calware]

would you ever share a list of your fave fics to reread ? Id love to hear your recommendations and faves

sure thing :) i'm only going to list works that have been going on for a while (or at least have gotten past the very beginning of the story) and that i've read all the way through. i'm also not going to list any of the super iconic fics i like because this list is already pretty long. these are all based on stuff that i personally find more interesting to read about, mostly focused on the human characters and not a lot of romance

i don't really know if these first two count but they're too good to not include:

Jade Route by spicyyeti

a post-epilogues comic centering around jade, this is my favorite homestuck fanwork. i especially love the artwork and the way it frames the story. it is reaaallllly hard to read it on a phone so make sure to read it on a computer or tablet

House of Dirk by imarriedacherub no rating - graphic depictions of violence - 13,570 words - 20 chapters (unfinished) A sitcom about completely normal and well-adjusted newlyweds Dirk and Caliborn attempting to make a good impression on their son, Dave, and his boyfriend, Karkat.

another comic, this one hosted on both ao3 and mspfa (though the ao3 version has more pages). i like how ridiculous it is. will probably never be finished, sadly

moving on to the actual fics:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. sadly, this one barely touches on jane and jake, but it's pretty interesting to read about what dirk and roxy are getting up to with their guardians (and the earth) restored to their previous conditions

The Haunted Harley House by hemoanarchists teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 78,462 words - 23 chapters (finished) There is an old house you built a long long time ago, alongside someone very close to you. Now as you don a new name, slipping back into society to care for a descendant, to whom tragedy has left you as her only family left, you take her to the house, the house that bears your family name. You really shouldn't have been surprised when he came to join you. It is his house too, after all.

carlah, a young girl who lives on earth c, has just been taken in by her uncle "jacob harley" after her mother's death. as time goes on, she slowly learns more about the true nature of her new guardians and the house they all live in. normally i'm not that interested in OCs but i love how intriguing carlah is as an outsider of the story. it's really easy to get invested in her as she uncovers a mystery we all know from the beginning and another that we have to learn along with her. shoutout to dysfunctional family dynamics

actually, while i'm at it, i'm going to recommend a bunch of other stuff he's written:

Atlantis Bound teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 33,263 words - 8 chapters (unfinished) Dirk tracks down an old friend

prequel to the haunted harley house but can also be read after (or separately). i really like the dynamic between dirk and vriska here, and i also love the way vriska's repeated reincarnation is utilized. vriska's journey through the newest iteration of her life while dirk watches over her is soooo captivating, especially when snippets of her previous lives are sprinkled in throughout. do you guys love cycles? personally i love cycles

Cherubian mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 54,011 words - 29 chapters (unfinished) The 5000 year time skip never happened, at the dawn of time the gods desperately try to guide the planet into a better future. But with tensions rising it feels like one bad day could bring everything crumbling down.

all of dante's earth-c god fics as a whole changed my brain chemistry and this acts as the beginning (and catalyst) of that overarching story. a lot happens in a very short amount of time

Transitional teen - no warnings apply - 1,860 words - oneshot a simple question what changed when you went godtier?

super simple but also an interesting exploration of the headcanon that players' bodies change when they go godtier. the twist is that each "change" is unique to each character and relates to their Self in some way

Monster under the bed teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,573 words - oneshot Skeletons in the Closet mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,910 words - oneshot Small Talk teen - no warnings apply - 8,944 words - 6 chapters (unfinished)

putting all three of these together because i believe(?) they're all part of the same narrative

[silkentine]

Camille Boucher is her father's favorite daughter. If only he wasn't born in the year 840 and turned into a vampire at the age of 45 during the Siege of Paris. You think your boomer dad isn't very woke? Imagine having one who is older than France. So, being the favorite daughter doesn't amount to much when she has several male siblings. She is, however, the only one of her many siblings who refuses to hunt and kill humans for sustenance and carries great pride in that. It's been 398 years since she's killed a human with her teeth (the bubonic plague made the whole affair very unappetizing).

Despite what you might think, being 425 years old is not easy! You try living through several wars and then see if you're willing to remember them all. Sometimes, facets of Camille's memory spring to mind and she relives the deaths of her mortal friends or lifetimes of her own personal suffering. But, hey, every twenty-something (or those who look like they're in their twenties) has mental issues these days; she's not special. It's better to just put the centuries of trauma on the back-burner most days. She has a relatively easy life otherwise; with her father having dominion over the entire Pacific Northwest, there is very little outside her reach, even if her stupid brothers get to reap most of the lucrative benefits.

Camille's hobbies include: attending college (she has far too many degrees to count, though most of them are in math), looking mysterious at coffee shops, solving puzzles, and conducting independent criminal investigations. She hates cops and avoids them at all costs. Her favorite part of the job is the thrill of investigating a case without being allowed onto the crime scene or access to forensic tools. Keeps the mind sharp.

Her newest undertaking? The Dentona Vampire, a notorious serial killer known for tearing out the throats of their victims (a bad look for the local vampires who'd prefer a more low-key media presence). The Dentona Vampire has been active for about six months now, but Camille has no real leads on who the murderer might be.

That is, until she keeps bumping into the same handsome, long-haired goon who keeps announcing himself publicly as a vampire. He honestly seems too clumsy to be a notorious serial killer, but he's the only interesting thing in her never-ending life at the moment. Even if he can't lead her to a clue about her case, it wouldn't hurt to show him the ropes and teach him how to be a more subtle creature of the night and less of a tacky Anthony Slater-type.*

*Anthony Slater is a fictional vampire and one of the primary love interests in the YA book series, The Crepuscular Saga. Everyone knows he ends up with the girl at the end of the book, but Camille preferred the boyish charm of the werewolf character, Lukas Rust, and secretly wished he'd be the end-game romance.

What's another pet project? She has all the time in the world, and it would be just terrible if her father found out someone was out there telling the humans about the existence of real vampires.

Thank you for reading my massive introduction to my character, Camille Boucher! She was a tricky personality to pin down, but her sense of filial duty and her selfish interest in detective work is the perfect combination to make an overconfident and resentful eldest daughter who refuses to grow up but knows she will never develop into her own if she doesn't. The goon she keeps bumping into is the other protagonist of this work, Bat Valentine. Find out more about him by looking at the "sanguine" tag on my blog.

Some characters that I drew inspiration from for Camille are: Nancy Drew, Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Kaylee Frye from Firefly, Nami from One Piece, and L. Lawliet from Death Note.

[gauloiseblue]

Asra Alnazar | Modern AU

[+18 | Adult Content MDNI]

A/N: sorry for the random ass post, but I miss soft romance AU, and he's the only comfort character that I know would fit into this. (it's a wonder what a half heart could do to a lady, huh?) Anyway, enjoy my take on him ^^

General

He might not realize it, but most of his clothes are women's clothes. For a reason that he find the texture softer, and more comfortable, compared to men's clothes

Like shirts, and the outerwears

He likes woman's shampoo (*cough* Diane) as well, because it makes his hair smoother, and smells good

He also wears skincare, but limits himself to moisturizer only. Because he once brought so many products, but he ended up not using them because they didn't fit his skin type. He had learnt his lesson

Books and poetry are his weak spots. He likes to read, and can never resist a novel with an interesting title

He treats Orpheus and Eurydice story like the Bible

Sometimes he writes, but he finds his poems terrible, so he never shares it to anyone

Surprisingly, he doesn't have any favorite movie. While he does like a few movies, there's none that touched him—to the point that it changes him as a person

People around him would debate over his pet preference, some would be so sure that he's a dog person, while the others were dead serious about him being a cat person.

(Imagine their surprise when they found out that he owned a ball python)

He prefers to cook his own food rather than buying take-out, except for the food that (1) took a long time to make, and (2) sourdough bread (or any kind of artisan breads, really)

Talking about preference, his favorite beverages are smoothies and wines. But for wine, he only likes them when they're sweet. If it's a red wine, he'd like them hot and spiced. For white wine, he prefers port wine. I can see him liking any sweet cocktail like Baileys, Sangria, or Margarita. He only indulges in alcohol every once in a while, but smoothies? Oh boy…

Contrary to people's belief, he doesn't listen to music that much. Even if he does, he's listen to instrumental music

He values his concentration a lot, and would do anything to keep himself focused. That's why he practices meditation, and he'd take some time to meditate, at least once a day.

I can see him as someone who owns a perfume shop, or a place for an art exhibition. And he won't have just one job either, he'll have many things on his plate that's relating to arts, fragrances, and wellness

When people ask him about his belief, he'd say that he believes everyone is responsible for their actions. He doesn't believe that God would meddle with people's affairs, and strongly believes in karma. He also believes in reincarnation, that's why he tries to not make enemies with anyone, because he doesn't want to deal with them again in the next life

While he doesn't necessarily believe in the personification of God, he believes in the existence of Deities, and he respects their existence as something beyond human knowledge

Which, in turns, makes him luckier somehow

(Maybe it's because Deities favor him, but who knows)

He's really bad at video games, mainly because he never takes it too seriously. But his friends would invite him to play, because he always makes them laugh

He also sings, very badly at karaoke, because he never listens to the songs

Despite of his easy-going nature, no one's really close to him. He's a private person, and wouldn't disclose anything about himself too much

But strangely, people would claim that they know him best, solely on the random facts that he had told them separately

(And it's always fun to watch them arguing about it)

Love/Relationship

Like I said earlier, he's easy-going, and that means he's easy to approach too. But that's it, that's what he'd ever be

He's approachable, but unavailable at the same time

And the reason for it, is because his idea for love is very complex. He couldn't love someone if they didn't connect on deeper level

In the past, he's not afraid to kiss anyone he found interesting, but as he grew up, he did it less and less, to the point of stopping

(Once, he got into an argument because the person he kissed believed that they had something, but he firmly stated that they're nothing. Which snowballed into a fight, and their relationship became a gossip for quite a while)

He never slept with anyone either, because he believes that sex is an exchange of energy, and he didn't want to give a 'part' of him to someone he didn't truly love

I think he's pretty much the embodiment of 'fell in love first × fell harder' trope

He wouldn't know his feelings before they hit him all at once

And when it happens, he won't know what to do, because it's very unfamiliar to him

He'd distance himself with the person he loved, while trying to make sense of his feelings. Does he really love them? Is it something that's genuine, or will it pass?

But once he found all of the answers, he's committing, hard

You won't see any hesitation from him when he confess to you

Would just marry you on the spot if he could

Of course, he'll take it slow at first, but he knows that there's no one else he wants more than you. So he'll work hard to make sure that you're happy with him

Having conversations with him hits different, because he knows you and your way of thinking. You'd say just one word, and he'd already know the whole sentence

On the fluff sides, I think he'll pretty much share things with you

He'll let you move in with him, and will let you use his things without complain

That includes his clothes and skincare

You'd be surprised to find that many of his clothes fit you perfectly. Because they are women's clothes after all

Would prefer to cook for you, but wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner either

Dating him consists of a lot of talking, a lot of kisses, and a lot of cuddles

If you need help, he won't hesitate to do it for you. He'd take care of you when you're sick, he'd pick you up despite of the distance and the time. Whenever you phoned him, you knew he'd pick up in an instant

(He knows it's not healthy, but he can't help it, his world revolves around you now)

You know the post where a man was at the party before he said he missed his gf and went home immediately? Yeah, that's him

If you wear lip balm/lip gloss, you'll find him staring at you, until you apply it to his lips as well

Since he takes good care of his hair, he'll do it to yours too. He'd buy the best products for your hair, and would take care of it twice a week, leaving your hair soft and healthy

In terms of social life, he'd pretty much introduce you to everyone he knows. Whether it's his family, or just friends

Speaking of his family, his parents already welcomed you long before you even met them. They both would exchange a meaningful look whenever their son talked about you. They trust his choice, and will give you both their support if needed

(Now that you've entered the picture, his parents won't stop talking about your relationship with him. They'd gossip like two bored wives in the lazy afternoon, about how he'd propose, or what the wedding would look like)

And Faust!! That little thing is pretty much your child now

When the two of you are cuddling, Faust will find a way to nestles between you and him

(He usually lets Faust out of his tank whenever he's alone, but he'd only do it once you're comfortable with it. Which you did, eventually. And that's an order)

You both pretty much behave like an old couple, and many of his friends point it out to you—mainly in the form of complains, because he's becoming more and more unavailable since you both started dating

But what can you say? It's not like you can escape from him either when he's clinging to you 24/7

NSFW

If you remember what I said earlier about his thought on sex, then you shouldn't be surprised when I told you he's a virgin

When the two of you had sex for the first time, he swallowed his pride and told you that he had no experience. But he made it up to you by giving you oral

While he lacked experience, he definitely knew about women's anatomy (because he secretly read it in women's discussion pages)

And he's an attentive lover, he'd be in tuned with your feelings, and how your body reacted when he did certain things

He only lasted one round the first time, for a reason that it took tremendous energy to keep him focused on pleasuring you. But now that he knows your body like the back of his hand, he won't hesitate to tire you out every time you both have sex

At the end of the sessions, he'd relish the afterglow as he kissed your shoulder tenderly

The feeling would persist, even days after the passionate night. You called it 'lover's bliss', but for him, it's the remnant of 'your energy'

Since he avoided porn like a plague, his view on sex is really different from other people, and that includes the kinks that he's into

Choking and slapping are barbaric to him, but he'd hold you in his arms really tight as he pounded into you from behind. He won't shout vulgar words at you, but he'll whisper unbelievably sweet, but dirty things that'll make you squirm. You won't be forced to pleasure him with your mouth, but he'll eat you out until you cry rapturous tears

While there's no definite correlation between fruits and sweeter cum, his taste is definitely sweet, or at least less bitter than normally. (Yea, I'm nasty, what about it)

About birth control, he won't let you take one, because he knows of the side effects. He'll use condoms instead, or have unprotected sex when it's your safe day

He's a vanilla, but he won't hesitate to make you pass out from overstimulation

Though he won't do it often, since he needs to have the energy to wake up the next day

Trivia

His MBTI type is INFJ

He wears 3 rings—2 on his left hand, and 1 on his right hand—and one of them is actually your engagement ring. He just hasn't give it to you

[divorcedwife]

Im especially interested in your opinion of the companions! Did you like any, how would you rank them, how did they compare to other games.

I did enjoy veilguard myself cause admittedly im a combat enjoyer (boo me now) and the combat was great to me. But what is usually good in dragon age/bioware even if everything else sucks are characters and their stories and interactions and that was so bad in veilguard imo.

Still I liked Davrin and Emmrich and Bellara myself, rest were very mixed, and these three also suffered from bad dialogue and Bellara also from some overt cutesiness.

hehe noooooo i wouldn't boo you! this game really made me realize that i prefer video games as a form of interactive storytelling rather than purely for gameplay, but i mean, i feel like im the weirdo here if anything. video games are games first... as much as i like the combat (especially when it's in big open fields, with opportunities for cover ; god is it satisfying to slowly take down a mob of enemies through clever dodging and hiding, i wayyyy prefer that to spamming the flashy special moves), it feels empty to me if i dont feel connected to the world. ideally, i'd love to play games where i enjoy both, but if i have to pick, i'll prefer a game that i find unfun to play but where i like the writing

i think it's a pretty weak cast, yeah. individually, but also as a group, they lack chemistry to me. most of them get along just fine, but not in a way that's particularly fun or exciting. their relationships aren't interesting to me because they're very samey, both in that most people are friendly and also that they start out friendly and end up friendly. dai isn't a game i love, but for all its flaws, it definitely had fascinating character interactions to me. blackwall's friendship with sera is so different to his friendship with cassandra or with solas, and he's initially wary of cole but grows to like him after a while. and these people all have their opinion of blackwall changed forever by revelations. that's what's lacking to me in companion relationships! growth... change... i did enjoy davrin and lucanis's bickering at least. i also did like how emmrich talked to companions, his therapy talk was actually charming every time i liked emmrich and davrin the most! my only problem with davrin is how often he felt shackled to assan, like the writers felt the need to remind us that he has a cute griffon every three seconds in case we were losing interest. but as a character, i found him really cool. i like how level headed he is, i love how he can't tell when lucanis is messing with him on purpose, those feel like great warden traits. emmrich, i really liked that he had the flaws to match his qualities - i love it when he complains about needing to teach TEN students (gasp!), or when davrin asks him if he knows how to wash dishes and he responds like someone who hasn't washed a dish in ten years, and so on. that's definitely what i found lacking in most companions - actual flaws! it's mind boggling to me how much of the lucanis banter i heard was spent clarifying how unproblematic he is. like he doesn't kill children, doesn't kill people who acted in self defense, doesn't kill innocents. what??? he doesn't even have flaws from growing up rich in a mansion... or being the ultimate nepo baby.................... that made most of the companions feel pretty shallow to me, like they were born right before the game began and had lived nothing

lucanis has enough little things about him i like that i would still say i liked him, but he's not getting honours from me. i like his design (it's very satisfyin to draw somehow), i liked spite, i liked the idea that he's trapped in the ossuary in his mind, i loved going to the mansion and seeing how barren and sad it is there. but i think his romance is my least favorite of any i've done in any dragon age games, and i would say that he was a worse boyfriend to have than the one who tried to kill me and also than the one who turned out to be an axe murderer in disguise, cause at least these two liked talking to my characters! lol

i'd put neve next but if im being honest with myself, i disliked more about her than i liked. i liked her bitter cynic pessimist traits, but i found her somewhat inconsistent on that and generally too friendly. the remaining characters, i didn't find anything compelling about them, i dont remember any moment that i liked with them :-( i really wish i did! i gave everyone as fair a shot as i could, i didn't start out this game looking for things to hate, but they really didn't do anything for me. i think bellara suffered from the fact that i dont really like all the technology in this game, i prefer low magic sad unwashed fantasy. at least she was very beautiful so she does get point for that

[gojonanami]

Do u read any manwha if so do u have any recommendations?

alright I was making a list but I can’t find it — so here’s a new one:

The First Night with the Duke (18+, isakei, comedy, romance): this is my favorite only because it’s hilarious. The ML is kinda a yandere but he’s actually not bad and it’s mostly used for comedic effect. FL is a girl who was reincarnated into a side character’s body of her favorite book and she’s just content to live her life because the character she is has a lot of money. she was gonna stay far away from the ML, but ends up getting drunk and sleeping with him. so what happens when he asks her to take responsibility for taking his virginity (and his heart).

The Broken Ring: This Marriage Will Fail (historical / 18+) : read the tw, this probably isn’t for everyone — six year old Ines chooses Carcel to be her husband because of his pretty face. Carcel believes Ines to be deeply in love, but what happens when she finds out he’s cheating and she doesn’t care? (Multiple lives, cheating but kind of understandable(?), black cat x golden retriever)

Going to Bed with My Hater (modern, 18+): this one is so cute — the FL used to be a big fan of the ML, but when he started taking on mediocre roles, she blasts him as a critic. and then she gets drunk ends up sleeping with him, and has to be on a TV show with him. It’s so cute.

How to Survive as a Maid in a Horror Game (horror / comedy / fantasy / romance(?): this is an interesting one. FL is isakei’d into a bad horror game she was playing the night before that’s known for horrible game mechanics that are very punishing. she gets reincarnated as a maid who is a servant to the heir to this important family and seen as a savior — but he’s actually a murderer and the devil.

The Law of Being Friends with a Male (high school romance, cute, fluffy): FL has a crush on her friend, but her friend confesses that he has a crush on another girl. Friend tries to ask her who her crush is and she describes him vaguely and he thinks he knows who it is — and tries to set her up with his best friend, the ML.

my Cocky Neighbor (18+, neighbors to lovers): this one is a little weird and I would say the main gimmick of this manhwa is essentially all but ignored but putting that aside — I think the dynamic between the ML + FL are so cute. ML is basically your basic playboy who is annoying FL with all his noise at night. She goes over to complain, and he basically slams the door in her face. She accidentally curses him and he becomes a dildo…it’s a whole thing.

Marry My Husband (18+, revenge, second chance at life): funny I finished this one right before the drama dropped. FL lived a horrible life with her husband, and then she found out her best friend and husband were having an affair while she was dying of cancer. they end up murdering her and she is sent back in time. she has a second chance and she wants to get revenge on both of them. but she also finds friends and love along the way!

I will make an attempt to change the genre (isakei, romance, comedy, fantasy) — FL is reincarnated into the body of the evil aunt in her favorite novel — an antagonist who is killed off early on for being shitty and money hungry. she decides to be a good aunt to her nephew, who is the main character, and try to change the course of the story — where he ends up alone for most of his life after the death of several characters. FL ends up involved in the story and finding a love interest in the form of the Duke, who is the nephew’s uncle (uncle on his father’s side, FL is aunt on the mother’s side, so they aren’t related).

I thought my time was up (fantasy, romance, curse): FL has a shitty family and is going to die of a rare magical disease of which there is no cure. so she wants to have a boyfriend before she dies — she has strong purification magic so she makes a deal with a Duke that she will purify his cursed body if he dates her (and then they fall in love).

Not Sew Wicked Stepmother (romance, comedy, isakai, fairytale, mentions of SA): a woman is isakai’d into the body of essentially the plot of Snow White — her stepdaughter is about 11 and the stepmother was been treating her badly until she was taken over by the MC. MC just loves the daughter and wants her to be happy. She gives her husband the space he wants and demonstrates that she wants her stepdaughter to be happy and he starts to fall for her.

Honorable Mentions

his family is obsessed with me

I’m stanning the Prince

the evil lady’s hero

[thingsidrawgohere]

I just finished my first run of DA4 and let me say- I probably got my money's worth. If one wants to view the experience via a purely mercantile lens. I found many bits of cheese and touched the insides of many angry creatures. But if one wishes to frame the thing as Art- Hell, if one wants to solely discuss it as the Fourth in a series of lore-dense, narrative RPGs, then, Cousin, We've Got Problems. Three interconnected niggling ideas that kinda all lead to the conclusion- for me, at least- that modern design practices simply do not trust the player. News flash, right?

Anyways, I think I'm going to have some thoughts on this subject to avoid other thoughts, thank you.

Full-Throated Spoilers Beyond. And a lot of them. It's long.

Idea 1: DA2 is my favorite of the series. That's not the problem; it's the setup. I know what I'm about and it's interesting characters interacting over time. Flawed characters. Abrasive, opinionated, STUPID ASS ANDERS characters. The story was scaled well for a handful of total losers and it was political. The most humanly political of all the games, I think. That's a very low bar, particularly for AAA, but it felt better to stand in a street, to be personally effected by events, than to look at a literal map of icons and notes and distant decisions as in DA3. It's important, I think, for DA to be about Being, Getting Dirty. You aren't a king. You shouldn't be.

Side Note 1: DA2 is a fucking miracle. The old gag that FO New Vegas, blessed be, was made in 18 months is trotted out to display Can-Do Attitude and DEEPLY unethical labor practices. DA2 got less time, fewer reusable assets (due to a different art style), and had to rebuild most of the engine. A. Miracle.

DA4, on the other hand, has a series of supportive, well-adapted people who have all worked very hard on themselves in therapy and know all the fucking right words to say. They chat with one another with kindness and sober fondness. In the One Instance of interpersonal friction, it is resolved with grace and speed. I find this Horrid. They fucking forgot to give these people negative traits. It's likability slurry. They experience no hard growth, hold no horseshit ideas, suffer no lingering doubts. It's not only unnatural but it's lifeless. It becomes Written. I can see the fucking author waving at me. I've got a note from my run that reads 'Rook told the man who is forcibly living inside his head "Thank you sharing that" and I want to scream.'

And that would be bad enough except the ideas are there. You've got a reluctant father story. Someone trapped between two cultures. A older man, already terrified of aging, of death, taking a Much Younger lover. That's Fucking Meat. I can see the writers straining against something but what they deliver is still person-shaped missed opportunities that repeat, that repeat, that repeat. It's So Frustrating. There's flashes of Good Writing. Of good character beats. But Also- from my notes, a character had just held her brother as he died, inexplicably for a second time, and Rook gives her a little pep talk that ends with him asking "You good?"

And the fucking woman says "I'm good" in response. She seemed to mean it.

How does one- react to that as a viewer? I told a man who wanted to be a lich more than anything to Not and he was cool with it. He never brought up being a lich again. He wasn't even upset. I let a man's city die and he's like I Get It, Bro. No Harsh Vibes. It rings hollow.

Talking over Solas' memories, collectively pulling out the meaning behind them- that was some of the best characters-interacting writing in the whole thing. And it's HOURS into the game. A shame.

Side Note 2: A lot of a loved-one death as motivation in this old refrigerator. If you get a name and one line, Oh Boy Brother, you are prolly gonna die bad. Lazy.

If I'm going to talk about Emmrich, let's talk about his romance. I honestly thought it was bugged. I Am playing through another run as a comparative but Wow. Larian and BG3 absolutely reconfigured what's acceptable in these types of story beats. This particular romance felt regressive, in a sense. Like a last minute addition. The very definition of love coins. No charisma or honest affection between the characters. Nothing allowed to percolate (more on that in a second). Just- now you are ROMANCED. Which means on the Blue Moon instance he has anything to say regarding being in a relationship, the best you can get is a 'dearest' at the end of a sentence. I was Excited by the idea of Emmrich really struggling with a May/December situation but he Doesn't. He has a few lines implying that he Could but it leads nowhere.

And they fuck in a coffin (???) and it's not even hot (!!!). Unforgivable. Double Unforgivable. I heard there was spice in this game? This is baking soda.

Related, a few lines awkwardly dodged the question of Emmrich's previous relationships and I have an inkling, without experiencing the other romances, that this is the world's largest case of gun-shy after the backlash with DA3's non-playersexual romances. This man can not be confirmed to be Anything but Into Rook, whatever they might be. There was also a throwaway line with Taash how she prefers women and that's as much as I saw of explicit preferences. I don't envy anyone trying to address the rabidity of fandom but it feels like unnecessary acrobatics.

Side Oh No: It's so bad that I'm honestly thinking of doing a fixit fic regarding the romance/character writing. And God, I can't right now. I have to finish my other project first.

Idea 2: The pacing. That's what ruins so much. There was a scene of a gnarled, fucked-up gate, torn from its hinges. And my guy says "Something Big must have torn apart that gate" all ominous, building a sense of- Nope. The very big darkspawn is standing ten feet away on the other side. I hadn't even swung the camera around the hall to see it before my guy goes "That big darkspawn must have torn apart the gate!"

Yes, I know there's an issue in open world games these days wherein devs are allergic to a player's millisecond of not knowing where to go but this feels applicable across the whole game. A problem isn't allowed to fester. It is brought to attention and then swiftly dealt with. If there's a locked door, a difficult decision, a feeling beyond Protestant determination, it will be dealt with, Post Fucking Haste. It's like the game doesn't trust the player to hold tension.

This happens not just in barks or small set pieces. Whole arcs work this way. Like Harding's longterm personal quest. She gets a handful of lines about feeling vaguely angry or perhaps thinking she Should be More angry about Lore Dump Retcon and then at her culmination, she's fighting her own anger. A vicious, hot, searing thing- and it wasn't earned. At all. There was room to telegraph this theme, bury it in the dirt to let grow roots. They didn't. One Line was given about her people pleasing tendencies And she's not really shown to be people pleasing to her own detriment. This is Chekhov's Gun in running shoes. It doesn't work. It feels like it comes out of left field.

Hell, there was a mission that was like SURVIVE IF YOU CAN and it was like- literally a long hallway. The Pacing is all Off.

Idea 3: I don't like that I must do this but DA4 doesn't understand its own flavor. The One Thing you Cannot Do is have Minrathous, the city of slaves and blood mages, seem nice. Particularly in the poor parts of town. You Cannot have the Crows be a lovely dovey band of scamps. You Cannot have the Blight be reversible. You Cannot CANNOT say "elves have it pretty good" as my Elvish Rook said with his face flaps. No. NO. You Cannot side-step the politics of this setting. These are the bones on which these characters are hung. To lessen the world is to lessen, to decomplexify them.

You know what my elf didn't hear in the town that canonically trades in bodies that look his? Knife ear. Eh to fantasy slurs but my point is no one said a cross word to my guy. The Qunari living in the town that had been warring with the Qunari for Centuries seemed totes fine. There were no alienages. There were no proper templars- even from other regions. No Mage Circles. No mage issues at all. Hardly anything whatsoever regarding the Chantry or Andrastianism, even as the game takes place in the Super Anti-Pope town. I had a literal demon-possessed man in my party and the world did not react.

I had a friend describe this Thedas as feeling smoothed out and Yeah. It feels like all the nasty bumps have been deemed undesirable. I don't know what to make of it. Is this simply taking the world in a different direction? Is it a mandate to tone down the unpleasantness, for sales? A shift in design ethos? Is this a sign of a very troubled project as it was with Andromeda?

I don't know. Is this still a Dragon Age game without its politics? There's enough here for me to wonder if Bioware is even Bioware anymore. There's a TREMENDOUS amount of work, of skill in DA4. Just Absurd. The environments are thick, Thicc. But work alone is not a virtue. Have we ship of Theseus'd so far that the people- the real people, not the logos- who have interests aligned with what made DA1 special are no longer there? Something went wrong with this project, narratively. Something I don't know how to fix without addressing basement level assumptions I'm clearly not privy to. I hope they can.

Final Thoughts: Game development is a fucking hole into which one pours one's relationships, time, and health, physical, mental both. It gives satisfaction very rarely. They shipped. In that way, huge success. It's not even, fundamentally, a 'bad game'. But it is a victim of a modern philosophy of pre-chewed ideas and player distrust. VGs are ultimately a business and, in these last few years, there's been a unimaginable devastation to the workers in the industry- even as the money flows ever upward. The desire to sell well has morphed into a NEED to sell well, even among the 'kept' studios. Big studios, Grand Dame Studios sitting on top of past critical and financial successes, been killed by their overlords recently. No one is safe. It's suddenly quite dangerous for large studios to make anything remotely niche, remotely unclear and Bioware has both Andromeda And Anthem under its belt. They're probably feeling the pinch. They needed a hit and hits, these days, are increasingly smooth. And DA4 is very smooth.

That's just my feeling on the matter. I'll see what a second run yields.

Smaller thoughts:

I don't care about the combat but that was- odd. The illusion of depth with all the skill trees and types of damage and subsystems of attack- all boiling down to a one button push. It's odd. I played rogue on PC so perhaps it's different for other classes, on console. But I pressed the button at the man and when I got a halo, I pressed another button and then pressed the first button again. No matter where I was on the skill tree, it never changed, never felt different. I don't know. It felt. Odd?

There was a Honest To God "It's quiet- Too quiet" and it just Happened. I would have pulled out every one of my teeth to avoid that. I get the jokey-okey but fuck, man.

Where's the chest hair? WHERE? Body hair? ANYTHING? Davrin has plastic chest. It's freaky.

Gloom Howler Gloom Howler Gloom Howler. Frankly, that whole storyline had a large gulg of the farcical. I laughed my ass entirely off when, upon her defeat, the Gloom Howler said "I'm sorry" and took a nap so hard that the scene wiped to 'some time later'. That was insane editing. PACING. And- naming. Gloom Howler. Gloom. Howler.

Teeth. Dear God, the teeth.

The devs were in a real pickle here, no doubt. My great sympathies. There's an Overwhelming abundance of world states that DA3 could have left on the board and I understand the balancing act between acknowledging the events of older games and staying generic enough DA4 could apply to All of them. Is Cassandra the White Divine? Or is Leliana? It's a nightmare of choices. Any of the people that Could be Divine can not be mentioned without lore issues. Who's on the throne in Orlais? Ferelden? Where's beloved so-and-so? Dorian canonically did return to Minrathous so he can 'safely' appear in game- but he fucking can't talk about Iron Bull, who may or may not be alive. Isabela canonically goes back to piracy but she can't talk about events in Kirkwall because she may not have been there for them. Oof. That's not a lot you are Allowed to acknowledge. The Poor Bastards.

Watched a braid slip off a person's shoulder, organically, as they were talking. Started at the bottom and look where we're at, technologically. And speaking on the technical, a lot of textures didn't load right. For the entire game, my guy's left shoulder armour thing had a much lower rez texture than the rest. Three hard crashes, which isn't the worst. One Wonderful mission wherein Lucanis' hair and his knives were the only bits of him to render.

I'm not touching the non-binary storyline. It was clunky, for sure, but the greatest sin was using Our words. There is canonical words for NGC/NB people in fiction and to not use them shows a fundamental distrust towards the source material and the players both. It's the linguistic version of the quest marker or the barks telling you where to go.

I still don't know how I feel about the dead Varric twist. Feels goofball but he got to hang out in his little pajamas. I wish I was in little pajamas.

Solas was pretty fucking tight but I think a lot of that was due to his VA. Something about the voice direction, in general, felt- flat? But old Solas was doing it good.

Ending. God, I get it. People are tired and satisfying endings are hard. And DLC exists, more cynically. But Hells Bells, I'm getting to the point wherein even the slideshow is annoying. Give me a fucking Ending to the Choice Game. Don't you fucking 'Spider-Man Will Return' at me, you bastard. I'm a child of fucking god.

Yes, I got the secret ending. I know. That was Also bullshit.

I feel better getting that all out of my system. Thank you for sharing that.

[nika-vincent]

Long post warning.

I'm trying to put together some thoughts (also based on recent discussions with many great folks) about the romance path with Halsin in the form that it is presented in the game at the moment with the hope that Larian will notice our comments on this. And part 2 about Halsin's personality in the game. Please, fear not, it will be without aggression. So take some tea, my friends, and let's get started!☕

From the very beginning of EA, we had an image of Halsin that stood out not only by his appearance (it was difficult to not notice the thirsty comments of fans about this), but also by the excellent qualities of his character. He is one of those characters who sincerely wants to help us with our parasite and not try to use us in a bad way or even kill us.

He has the impression, you know, of a big adult man who at first glance looks serious and rather harsh, but when you learn more about him, you realize that this is a man with a kind heart, caring, protecting, not leaving you in trouble. He reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter universe. And this image of him was so loved by many people (including me) that we wanted to see more of it when the game was released. There was no limit to my delight when, after the release of the game, we were able to ask about his hobbies. Gods, how all these cute things fit him that he loves honey and carves wood in his spare time.🥰 I want more of this!❤

We began to fantasize about what a romance with Halsin could be, and expected that these beautiful traits of his character would manifest themselves here. That he will be protective for Tav, gentle, romantic and caring. I was incredibly happy that we were finally given the opportunity to have a romance with him and the words during the PFH that Halsin and Astarion had become the most popular characters of EA gave great expectations.

Of course, after the release of the game, many things have remained behind the scenes for now, due to lack of time to implement the rest of things I believe, and I assume that there is a chance of adding this with patches. But let's move on to the things we have at the moment.

What surprised me not in a good way was that I noticed some strange emphasis on Halsin's sexuality and various jokes towards his body in the game itself. I assume that perhaps the developers wanted to make some kind of reference to the thirsty comments of fans about Halsin, which can often be seen on the Internet. But I think it would be better to leave it between fans, and not literally implement it in the game. I do not deny his sexuality myself and say that his arms are made for hugs! But there should be a limit to everything, I think. I can make an exception about the fact that we can ask about why he is so big for an elf. It looks quite harmless and even his reaction amuses.😁

The reference to 'Daddy Halsin' in his ending was great and really funny! It looks unobtrusive and does not create the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that we got from some of his stories from the past...

The story of Halsin's sexual past and how the romance with him is presented in the game has been most criticized by players, and there are several reasons for this. We found out that he had many lovers throughout his life (So it is lovers, not special loved ones). And then we also learn that when he was a young druid, he traveled through the underdark and found himself a guest in a noble Drow house, in which the matron and the patron showed interest in him and chained him for three years in their bedchamber, where he played the role of 'guest, prisoner and consort'. Honestly, the last thing I expected was that Halsin would get such a backstory, given that we had kept in mind for so long the image of him which I described at the beginning of this article. It literally took me by surprise. And especially the fact that he talks about it so calmly and even with a note of gaiety, as if this is a common thing that could happen to anyone.

I don't understand the need to add such things to him. Perhaps the developers wanted to show in this way that a man with such an attractive appearance is obliged to have a hot sexual experience and give him an image of something like a Faerun Casanova? If so, it turned out to be quite inappropriate and even creepy, and the players perceived it more as a sexual abuse towards him than as an experience.

It can be noticed that even Halsin himself is not very enthusiastic with the fact that remarks about his physique are the first thing people talk about. Clipping from @lylakoi 's screenshot:

And all this strongly contradicts how we initially fell in love with Halsin and how we wanted to see him and his romance in the release. The romantic relationship between Tav and Halsin at the moment looks more built on physical attraction, rather than on love, care and mutual respect. Most likely, this is due to the noticeable lack of romance content at the moment and more soft things and scenes will be added to the patches that would dilute it well so that it does not catch the eye. I just wanted the romance to be less fixated on lust, and more on feelings and romantic things between Tav and Halsin.

The most terrible thing that literally brought tears to my eyes is the fact that he can talk about his feelings and love only when we ourselves can behave like an abuser with him, when we decide to break up with him and change our minds. We see how much it hurts him that we are playing with his heart. Because at the moment there are no other romantic scenes in the game in which we can discuss with him our feelings and that we love each other, as it happens with other companions.

Polyamory also does not work quite correctly in the game, because it seems that he wants Tav to be poly in the relationship, not him. It looks something like: 'You're all I want, but don't get stuck on me and find someone else' uhh, what? I only want to romance you, why should I find someone else? This dialogue is appropriate if I was already in a relationship with another companion and would like to be with Halsin too. But if I want to have a romance with him alone, then I believe that the dialogue should be different and not insist on 'sharing' if I have not a relationship with anyone.

Given the whole story that he only had lovers and sexual slavery, I assume that Halsin has never experienced true love with anyone, and only knows how to be used by everyone. If this was the original idea of the writers, which has not yet been brought to its logical end, then the role of Tav in the romance with Halsin here should be quite important in order to see the development of their relationship. The main goal in the romance should be that Tav will allow Halsin to feel what it's like to be truly important and loved. Remember when in the act 2 he was touched by the fact that Tav shared a campfire and their company with him. Screenshot by @lylakoi :

It is clearly evident that such things that someone does for him are unusual to him and touch his very heart. Most likely, he is used to giving, not receiving.

The bed scene with him is absolutely beautiful, I can even give a standing ovation.❤ I would only add after that a scene where Tav and Halsin are lying side by side, looking at the stars and having a romantic conversation. That would end the night perfectly.🙏

It is necessary to add more soft interactions for Halsin, so that there is more emphasis on the development of his personal qualities. We are well aware of his attractiveness and there is no need to emphasize this once again with strange jokes and stories with sexual abuse.

The Interaction in the camp with owlbear and Scratch will be great for him! Maybe even add some scenes with companions in act 2, where Halsin would try to calm the guys arguing with each other. That would add +1 to his personality traits. Also, more of his reactions to any events or during the dialogues with someone will not hurt.

For a romance, I would suggest definitely adding a scene with a date. Even a scene where Halsin would give an ornament for Tav that he carved out of wood. Maybe some episode in the city that would shock him (For example, he witnessed the rough treatment of animals or orphans) and make him turn into a bear from rage and we would try to calm him down by choosing the option 'reach out and stroke him' (Yes, yes, I mentally create fanfics during 3 am, don't blame me😅) Also a scene where we could hug him and confess that we love him. And now the romance no longer looks focused on lust.

The opportunity to go with Halsin in the ending also deserves to exist. Halsin mentioned that he would like to have a family, so he and Tav could perfectly help orphans together in Thaniel's world.🙏

That's all for today. My opinion about Larian has not changed for the worse, for me they are still great guys who delight me with their positive attitude to the community. Unpleasant situations can happen, it is inevitable. But there is always a chance to fix something. I really want to hope that they will cope with everything and listen to our feedbacks and everything will gradually get better with the patches.❤

Thank you for reading this review to the end.🙏❤ I also suggest joining the discussion to Larian's discord in the 'bg3-feedback' section.

[aeskanera]

No one asked for it but here it is! My personal ranking of Swtor companions from most to least favourite (in a more general sense this time since there’s so many) (sidenote this is entirely based on the og class storylines as I have not found time to play/read through the extended games yet) (tw for bad and inconsistent grammar):

TOP FIFTEEN

Vector Hyllus (IA) - bug boy❤️

Lord Scourge (JK) - let me romance him you cowards (obligatory statement that yes i am aware of post-onslaught romance but i don’t want to have to play through all that just to bang him)

Blizz (BH) - BLIZZ!!!!!!!

Risha (S) - one of the most detailed, nuanced companions in the game, my wife, top tier female love interest, she doesnt just have backstory she has Backstory ™️

Andronikos Revel (SI) - many points for the coolest name in star wars. ok like i think his character concept is kinda boring comparatively but they pull it off so well as a romance arc. he feels very real and human and natural and i like that he keeps the inquisitor grounded by being the everyman in a story about sith sorcery and going insane because of ghosts in your brain

Akaavi Spar (S) - she is SO hot. the superior Mandalorian like Torian Cadera who?

Treek - TREEK!!!!!!!

Kira Carsen (JK) - my first ever swtor love. she has a special place in my heart

Jaesa Willsaam (SW) - let me have lesbian sex with her

Qyzen Fess (JC) - i looove him, easily one of the most interesting characters and the deep dive into trandoshan lore is so fascinating and interesting

Vette (SW) - she’s my darling 🩷 i would die for her. i bonded with her so much cause i play female characters as a rule and her whole character and relationship with the female warrior is about her craving sisters and sisterly relationships and then finding that in the warrior. and at the same time that i was playing that class i was repairing and working on my real life relationship with my little sister who i’m now very close to. so Vette is my sister. plus if you play as female you still get to hit on Tivva (just not sleep with her) and the dialogue is extremely amusing to me

Elara Dorne (RT) - in game doing that sweet pseudo-enemies to lovers with Jorgan so my character meeting Elara was like FINALLY someone who i don’t hate. out of game i was like FINALLY my autistic companion. it’s not a swtor playthrough without at least one autistic companion

Holiday (JC) - she COUNTS ok!!!!

Aric Jorgan (RT) - cat boy husband

Khem Val (SI) - objectively one of the best companions, if not the best. he’s just so low because i have more emotional attachment to the ones above

MIDDLE FIFTEEN

Torian Cadera (BH) - super well written romance especially when you get to the GenoHaradan arc, an underrated love interest (at least in the circles i run in online). however. sir we need to have words about that facial hair. also i guess it’s not an old republic game without at least one character that makes me say “they are NOT a nineteen year old”

Kaliyo (IA) - i get that she could rub people the wrong way but she’s my bestie. plus she coined the nickname bug boy for Vector

Tharan Cedrax (JC) - the superior version of Doc

SC0RPI0 (IA) - they gave that droid madonna cone titties. also i was so excited by her since i found the previous agent companion so bleh

Malavai Quinn (SW) - time to drop a controversial opinion…i think he’s overrated. like don’t get me wrong he’s a fantastic love interest, he’s just hyped up a LOT compared to other love interests and i think he maybe only deserves like 85% of the hype he gets (which is still a lot!). i just think he has a lot of the traits tumblrinas go nuts for and then they act like that makes him superior to other love interests when that’s not necessarily the case. and i say this as someone who romanced and placed him higher on this list than several other love interests so im being objective here. on a more positive note his deadpan humor is greatly enjoyable, and i find it very entertaining that when his health bar drops but is still like halfway full he starts saying shit like “my death is imminent” overdramatic king

Xalek (SI) - the superior inquisitor apprentice

Zenith (JC) - let me romance him you cowards but im far less passionate about this one than i am about Scourge (yeah yeah the expansions i want him to be my MAIN story love interest in the origin)

Broonmark (SW) - i love my giant murderous fluffy alien monster baby

M1-4X (RT) - i do enjoy being told how amazing i am on a regular basis. the most egotistical character let alone the most egotistical droid but unlike other swtor companions he pulls off having one single character trait cause he’s funny about it

Doctor Lokin (IA) - the mad scientist thing is very cool but i feel like for me personally it was not as cool as it sounds in theory

T7-O1 (JK) - teethree 2.0 and since they made teeseven like several hundred years old anyway i genuinely do not understand why they didn’t just make him T3-M4

Lieutenant Felix Iresso (JC) - literally only exists for me as eye candy (and what a good job of it he does)

2V-R8 - they gave that poor droid anxiety

C2-N2 - i love my aromatherapy droid

Yuun (RT) - he’s just so nice! so pure, so wholesome. marge simpson voice i just think he’s neat

BOTTOM FIFTEEN

Talos Drellik (SI) - am a huge nerd over history and archaeology…literally me in star wars…so why don’t i like him more??? absolutely no idea it’s just a vibe. also not to be mean but according to the swtor encyclopedia he’s supposed to be younger than Quinn…bb girl you did not age well

Corso Riggs (S) - idk i mean he’s cute and all, and we’ve established that i love my autistic companions (plus he’s very luke-skywalker-my-favorite-character coded) but like he came across too young for me to want to romance him with the smuggler character especially with how superior the girl love interests are. Much potential as a bestie though

Guss Tuno (S) - i literally have no memory. could not tell you a thing about him. oh wait except this insanely hilarious line I came across the other day while casually reading wookiepedia (as one does) that goes pretty hard and honestly yoinked him up from the bottom of the list: “You've never known real rage until you've been lectured on controlling your emotions by a four-year-old in a robe.”

Sergeant Rusk (JK) - he sure is there i guess

Nadia Grell (JC) - i cannot wrap my head around anyone wanting to romance her. it just feels icky to me. like i can handle a lot of the power imbalances in the other romances but this one is just too much for me, especially if you’re a light side jedi

Ashara Zavros (SI) - yawn. she will never be Jaesa Willsaam no matter how hard she tries. pretty tho

Doc (JK) - bootleg Tharan Cedrax

Lieutenant Pierce (SW) - if i have to hear about the Bastion one more time i stg….ruined the trooper chapter three story for me. he’s not lower only because i enjoy that his dynamic with Quinn is literally just them

Ensign Raina Temple (IA) - god she is so boring

Bowdaar (S) - deep sigh of course the smuggler is the one who gets the wookiee companion. bootleg Zaalbar

Tanno Vik (RT) - on the one hand his recruitment quest made me want to shoot myself in the face seven hundred times…on the other hand he has that fuckoff awesome sword…much to consider…

Gault (BH) - so one note and that makes me sad. yeah so are a lot of companions but he’s neither adorable enough or funny enough to pull it off. i guess he does have a sliver of likability such as his ex-girlfriend storyline that makes him able to endear himself to me just enough

HK-51 - sigh i guess it’s not an old republic game without an HK unit

Mako (BH) - grow some balls girl. i genuinely don’t even know why i hate her so much. you’re telling me this girl’s supposed to be a bounty hunter? don’t make me laugh. maybe if she develops a real personality. im so mean to her for absolutely no good reason i really do turn into a high school bully about this girl. if someone wants to psychoanalyze me and tell me why i despise Mako that would be much appreciated

Skadge (BH) - yikes

[lyquynhnhu]

Zenshu First Impression

I watched the first 3 episodes of Zenshu and I love it. It since Buddy Daddies that I was so excited about a original anime.

Zenshu wasn't on my plan to watch anime this season and the only thing I knew about it was that "animation industry" was involved. But then it turned into an isekai.

I don't dislike isekai and I don't judge an anime before watching just because it's targed "isekai". In my experience, I've watched a lot of isekai, but I found interesting only few of them.

Most isekai involve a boy being summoned/dying accidentally and god send him in a random fantasy world where he becomes a hero and defeat a demon lord. Then there is the "reincarnation" genre, where the main character gets reborn while still possessing the memories of their past life. The first isekais I watched where set in a random fantasy world, but there are also story where the main character is reborn in the world of a game or manga.

Personally, I really like the sub-genre "villainess otome isekai" where the main character is usually a girl being reincarnated in a character of the game and have to change the plot in order to survive a bad ending.

To me, Zenshu seems a mix of the different kind of isekai genre.

the main character is a girl

she get reincarnated in a anime and she has to intervene to change the story (since the anime in question seems to be quite depressing)

the setting of the anime in question remind a random fantasy world where a hero party has to defeat a demon lord

Zenshu also remind me of Re:Creators, but reverse. In Re:Creators the characters were light novel author, mangaka, game programmer who meet the characters that they created and have the power to give the characters more powers by writing. In this case, Natsuko is an animator, but she didn't get reincarnated in a story che created. Nevertheless che have the power to change the story through her talent.

I like Natsuko character. she is really funny. From appearence she seems a shut-in, shy person. But she looks like that because she like to wear what she like. She is not hiding her face for some particular reason, but just because she is more comfortable like that. Also, she doesn't seem to have a sad past and want to redo her life. She was satisfied with her job, although she wasn't making progress.

As for the story, the world in which she reincarnated is based on a anime movie. A quite depressing one. "A Tale of Perishing" was a movie, more or less the duration is about 2 hours. It seems that in the movie many things happened in the limited amount of time of a movie, that's why Natsuko doesn't know some info because of the cuts, like the characters background for example. In fact, she does stated that there are still some parts unclear to her even after many years. It's unclear if the original movie has an happy or bad ending, but what's sure is that a lot of character died leaving the hero fighting alone.

Anyway, this movie is what inspired Natsuko to draw. Maybe the story was bad, but the animation was spectacular. Or the story was actually good, but only for few people. Like when a manga started good and is good until the last arc and the ending totally ruined the entire experience. Something like that.

Well, Zenshu is not only about Natsuko adventure in the behind the scene of "A Tale of Perishing". The theme of "love" is also hinted in this first episodes.

Before dying, Natsuko was working on a new story about first love, but she has no experience in love. She gets isekai in a movie she loved as a child and I think that in the next episodes she will rediscover her love for the story, for animation and her job. On the other hand I'm worried about the hints about her romance with Luke. It's not confirmed that Natsuko died. I don't want an ending like "Meiji Tokyo Renka" and "Irozuku sekai no ashita kara", in both the main couple get separated because they belong to different worlds.

For them, I prefer no romance at all instead of a bittersweet ending.

[tentative-wanderer]

Recently read these manga and manhwa with gay relationships:

☀️ The Summer Hikaru Died: liked it lots, wish it were complete. The creepy art style took some getting used to, I didn’t like how unnerving even normal people looked at first but I ended up loving how the art fits its genre. Mystery + horror + a sort of love I like, occupying the twilight zone between platonic, romantic and goodness knows what*. The theme of grief is executed well, very moving, and thumbs up for the other complicated feelings the characters wrestle with. From the Chinese words/kanji, I can tell that the title is “The Summer the Light Died”, which makes me go ahhhhh. I’d like to have the reassurance that there will be a happy ending, because I feel like there could be a melancholy one.

* I like amorphous kinds of love. Qijiu from the danmei book SVSSS has that too (don’t look this pair up if you haven’t read SVSSS, it’s spoilery). The phrase that comes to mind is 犹抱琵琶半遮面, ie, (a musician) “covering half their face with the pipa in their arms”. The beauty of things only semi-revealed.

🎥 Twilight Out of Focus and its sister series: enjoyed them. My favourite character is the film director with semi-long hair who’s capable, strong-willed, outspoken, and competitive, tempered by a softer side (the thing he’s loud and passionate about besides filmmaking is BL, of all things. But I didn’t know he swung that way until he got his own manga series. Should have seen that coming). That tends to be a winning combination of physical and personality attributes in my book, I always fall for this type of character, but I’d be on edge if I had to deal with such people in real life because their cut-throat attitude would be, well, cutting.

🧼 Ten Count: can relate to the mysophobia. Interesting premise! Enjoyed it. But I feel like it was dragged down a little by the smut. I have mixed feelings about saying that, because on one hand, smut is always welcome, but on the other hand, I wish there was a greater focus on the process of overcoming the ten mysophobic points beyond the romance and smut. Another downside is pretty-boy same-face syndrome.

🪞 The Black Mirror: there are a number of imperfections but I was hooked because I like mystery.

If anyone has recommendations, I’m all ears! BL manga is new to me (previously, I think I’ve only read the comedy about the guy who realised he’s stuck in a BL world, haha).

***

(Not BL)

Read a number of chapters of Liar Game. I don’t know why the author is drawing manga instead of messing with the stock market or committing fraud or financial world domination. Big-brained stuff. I tend to read comics fast/skim-read so I found it challenging to think deeply about the strategies; even following along is tough. (Edited to add: the ending was really, really bad.)

Caught up with the more recent chapters of Spy x Family and Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan. Loved both. Regarding Spy x Family, I thought I couldn’t love it more but it turns out I could; the recent arc about the old female soldier is wonderful, overturns some gender norms to an extent hardly seen in media. Also, I really like Yuri and Fiona; they’re both capable, good-looking, and—importantly—very funny. Fiona is amazing in the anime, her voice actress adds a special spark of life to the duality of her character.

[2goldendarkness]

I usually reblog, rather than make my own posts, but seeing everyone in the gaze community deal with their grief by writing things down has given me some courage to do the same. I hope it will help me in my grieving process and i hope to help everyone who does relate to what i write. So this will be my farewell letter.

Dear Reita,

I got the news seven days too late, like how it usually is for me coming into a fandom.

I became a fan about 8 years ago, i was doing a creative education as a designer, listening to random music on Youtube with autoplay. Suddenly i found Red, the first song that got me into the Gazette, i was glued to my screen and intrigued with the looks of all members. But why the hell was that one guy wearing a band around his nose? I needed to get into it. So i did.

The gazette then became my first and favorite Visual kei band, i’ve been trough a lot in my life and whenever hardship struck me, there was always an interview that would make me laugh. When i had boring days in school we even played a game, my friends would ask me “why is he covering his nose?” And i would make up the weirdest stories on the spot. That resulted in some charms with titles like ‘reita and the smelly drummer.’ And ‘reita the drugs dealer.’ It varied from poking fun and making up the stupidest thing, to making you some cool guy who fought bad guys. It would always make us laugh, even though, i was making up these stories to friends who weren’t even necessarily in the fandom, because everyone who saw you once, knew your name and so knew who you were.

I wrote fanfiction, many in where you play a big part of the story, not as a love interest, but as a brother of a character based off of me. All because you once said in a radio show that you feel like you’d be a great older brother, hell did i take you up on that one.

I never got to see The Gazette live, i used to curse you all for skipping my country and forcing me to travel for 5 hours to see you all. In 2018 i was almost at that point, but i couldn’t go because of my exams and because i had no friends who wanted to come with me. I always promised myself: one day, i will see them.

It hurts me to realize that day will never come, at least you won’t be there anymore. I accidentally open instagram, and find a grief post written by Hiroto of Alice nine, in the hashtags your name. Shock, that’s the first thing i felt. I must be going crazy. But next up was Miyavi’s post and as i read that it slowly starts downing upon me, my heart sinks to my stomach and a lump forms in my throat as i rush to jrocknews to confirm they aren’t just playing a sick joke.

I start crying like most of the sixth guns, but only after i start reading the members messages. Why am i crying? We’ve lost a talented bass player who inspired so many people to also start making music. The world lost ‘the world’s Reita’ who was always poking fun at the drummer. The bookstores lost their most unexpected romance buyer. Many lost their source of love and joy. I’ve lost my fictional brother.

But most importantly, your actual family lost a loving family member who bought his mother an entire house to repay her for raising him well. The Gazette lost a member. Kai lost his fear during interviews of whatever you are going to say next. Ruki lost being in your personal space no matter how big the dressing room. Aoi lost the person who’s jokes he could laugh the hardest about. Uruha lost his longtime best friend, and now can no longer feel your heart racing before the show, nor can he feel your hand searching for his heart.

I hope everyones feelings reach you, i hope that whichever way you passed, was peaceful and without pain. I hope that whenever it is our time, you come in your mustang to pick everyone up. Usually as a driving instructor i call shotgun, but i’ll leave that space to your close relatives. That way i can’t judge you for turning around while parking, rather than using your mirrors.

Thank you for everything Reita, you will never be forgotten. Once my grief is gone, i promise to remember you with a smile rather than cry. I also promise to be a fan of The Gazette no matter what they decide to do now you’re gone.

And to whomever read my entire message, thank you for reading this unhinged post.

[sexybritishllama]

after many, many, MANY hours, i have finally completed persona 5 royal and am now presenting my thoughts. overall i think i have to rate it a 4.5/10, with a note that rather than being generally mid, it swings so wildly between the good and the bad that it evens out just below average for me

spoilers for ALL of the game under the cut including 3rd semester

the good:

this game is STYLISH. that is probably the first thing everyone says about this game but it's true and it has to be said. everything from the hud to the settings menu is themed, it's slick and fun and just really well done

the music slaps. again, gets said a lot, but has to be acknowledged. so good

in theory the gameplay loop is fun. the swapping between dungeon crawling in the palaces and the daily social links is interesting, and for the first good 40 hours of the game or so i found it really addictive and well balanced (yes in spite of the tutorial)

the characters were (mostly) likeable and there were some good social link stories- notable mentions include futaba, sojiro and yoshida

i loved walking around tokyo, it felt very immersive. i used to travel to shibuya all the time for work and it was a lot of fun recognising the spots and even the way you walk out of the train station!

the bad:

IT'S TOO LONG. it's just too long. my save file is at 119 hours after completing the game. i spread this out over an irl year of playing the game. i was still so burnt out when i got to the end my main emotion was RELIEF. you could cut this game down to like half of this run time and it would only benefit it. there is so dialogue spent just repeating points you already know, or scenes that you have to play on a regular basis (eg me spamming through doing affinity readings or kawakami making coffee or WHATEVER), and it is not to the benefit of the game at all

the excessive length also makes other parts of the game that would otherwise be forgivable into absolute slogs. stuff like the combat being mostly way too easy (with the exception of random frustration spikes like okumura), or the fact that so many of the confidants follow the exact same pattern down to which rank you’re going to be asked to arbitrarily go to mementos to solve their problem- these would be much less annoying if i didnt have to do it SO MUCH AGAIN AND AGAIN

on that note oh my god mementos. i fucking hate mementos. most boring content in existence and when i found out they made more of it in the third semester i screamed out loud

ren/akira/joker as a self-insert main character did not work for me and that negatively impacted just about every character relationship with him for me (especially the romances) because it just felt like there was nothing for people to connect to. he’s just so… nothing, but at the same time wasn't enough of a blank slate for me to feel like i could fully project onto him as a self-insert

i think joker could have worked better for me if they either a) made him a more defined character (my preference), OR if they insist on sticking with a self-insert, make the dialogue options were varied. i don’t expect branching options but i do appreciate it when you at least pretend to give me some agency about the replies my character gives, it can mean a lot in a roleplaying game to actually feel like you're, yknow, roleplaying

i generally like the bombastic wild designs persona has for enemies and stuff but i really struggle to take some of the characters seriously when their masks look like this

IN PARTICULAR why is futaba's whole metaverse outfit so ugly. do my girl justice

akechi is a character who i feel will make for very compelling fanfiction but unfortunately i found his actual canon depiction underwhelming

the entire way they handled kawakami as a confidant and the fact you can choose her as a romance option. INSANELY uncomfortable and negates the point of her entire story arc about deciding to care about her students again and not get extorted anymore, but then you as the player character can date her, can continue to get her to do your manual labour for you and give you massages, which you're heavily incentivised to do because it's so useful as a gameplay mechanic. it is SO UNCOMFORTABLE

maybe i'll make a separate post breaking down my thoughts about each confidant because i have other issues with other peoples arcs but kawakami was the most egregious. as if people havent heard me rant enough already

in general that thing of the game undermining its own messages for the sake of either very bad comedy or fanservice is a reoccuring issue. unfortunately very anime in that sense. as well as kawakami: - you spend the entire first dungeon of the game talking about how shitty this perverted teacher is for his treatment of ann and trying to assault her and then i have to spend the rest of the game sitting through MULTIPLE fanservice jokes about ann (this underage girl btw) being really Hot and Sexy and forcing her to strip for yusuke - ryuji risked his life to save the others and then the girls... beat him up for it? it was clearly meant for comedy, but god did it land flat - the game proves over and over again that the police and justice system is corrupt and ineffective but they never actually seem to... want to do anything about it? makoto literally says she's going to become a cop at the end of her confidant arc!!! girl!!!

their solution to the justice system being shit is to get people to confess to their crimes and Feel Bad, where the villains then proceed to.... be handled under the same justice system we have i guess? as though the issue here was just the fact that bad guys wouldn't confess, and we don't need to look at, hey, why do these people commit the crimes they do, how do we handle punishment vs rehabilitation, etc.

it's weird because they do sort of dance around this topic sometimes (like with akechi's fucked up upbringing) but it always feels like they're scared of diving too deep into it. i don't expect a full marxist re-examining of society from highschoolers but idk man, for SUCH a long game i feel like it was a weirdly shallow reading of the societal issues around authority and crime

also: why does the 'rebel against social norms!' game still not let me romance same-gender confidants. let me date ryuji you cowards