#so. “do it anyway” is kinda my thang now. bc even if its like a 30% good job its still done and im still drawing

[voidfins]

redrawing pokemon screencaps but as my oc instead, part two: braixen edition

[dadsbongos]

Hi!!! Hope you’re doing well - I just want to take a moment to gush before I ask something, because I’ve really enjoyed your blog since finding it:

1: your writing is SO good I’ve reread your dunmesh fics several times now & just eat them up every reread. I’m stoked you also have funger content & can’t wait to eat those up

2: your blog’s aesthetic is just 🤌🤌 chefs kiss

3: your chilchuck’s wife fic - I’m convinced you are the chilchuck expert you characterized him so well (& the bit in the 3some fic when he choked the reader ? gulp)

OKAY on the with the actual question: I was wondering if you have any chil thoughts for the chilfuckers? Maybe some sfw / nsfw?

thank youuu :] i'm so glad to provide for the dungeon community with both meshi and funger <3 and also extra glad to make the chilchuck people proud, he's my fav lil man

i have so many chilthoughts bc i am a verified chilfucker i need that middle aged man

nsfw chilthoughts 

MEAN mean man

Likes to make his partners huff and whine, especially if they start haughty or mouthy

Facefucking, especially, for the mouthy ones. Wants to shut you up and make you drool

Lately the thought of Chilchuck fist-fucking a bigger race has been making me sweat… like yeah lil man, get up in that thang… I need to write it. Maybe some dwarven wench who keeps mocking Chil, or an ogre that feels its appropriate to pick n lift him up while working

Schrodinger’s breeder kink - sometimes its all he’s thinking about and sometimes the thought is entirely uninteresting

Touched on it a BIT in my body swap fic but i think Chil has a really sensitive neck and likes being held there (maybe not choked, but grabbed and stroked for sure)

Has a secret goon for younger partners but doesn’t like admitting to it, the taboo of it makes him all hot especially since he knows most other races can’t tell. Like a VERY poorly kept secret that could ruin his distinguished reputation

i also have chilchuck fic ideas that i haven’t fleshed out, but thought it’d be a shame if they sat in my ‘puter unseen:

Idea 1: Reader is a young elf, only about 72, and against all odds began dating Chilchuck. On his 30th birthday, it's brought to attention that you’ll be in your 90s when he dies. Leading to a spiral wherein you’re just trying to live in blissful ignorance to your races’ lifespan difference, and Chilchuck assumes you’re mature enough to handle his death, move on, and remember him fondly… lol… anyway. When Chilchuck dies you study how to maintain your own mana without a dungeon and practice minor healing spells until you can do a full revival, which fails on Chil, so you have to turn to dark magic. Basically rewinding his life until he’s the same age as when you two met and he’s upset you brought him back because YOU could get in major trouble and that’s when you confess you didn’t tell anyone when he died bc you knew you’d bring him back -- and you’re a nutcase that keeps doing this every time he dies despite knowing he wants to die peacefully. Omg loving someone so much you need them at all costs even ruining their perception of you… 

Idea 2: Chilchuck helping a 20-ish(+?) y/o half-foot negotiate a contract for themself and he thinks they’re soooooo cute so they get together, and he’s kinda nervous to bring them around cuz you’re crazy young compared to him. Not even a child to speak of GASP. The party doesn’t notice at ALL cuz they have no idea about anything about half-foot aging and customs -- but his daughters look at him sideways lmao

and this is literally not even a full fic idea but i have a note from my chilchuck master doc for you lol

im so normal about him

[odysseys-blood]

This is literally the first time ever ill do one of these after being tagged in ig bc i always forgot! anyways got tagged by @taketheringtolohac for a "9 people you want to get to know better" game!

Last Song: Sway - A Trak & AJ Christou ft. Duckwrth

i luv duckwrth and this song is super wavy someone come dance to it with me

Favorite color: Idk what to call it like a wine purple? this thang and similar shades

i also rly like deep reds too. if u ever notice i accidentally tend to use mainly the red-blue portion of the color wheel in art and its not a concious decision either it just kinda happens and i try to steer away from it every once in a while and it never sticks.

Currently Watching: nothing rly!

it takes me forever to start watching things and get through them. The last series i finished I think were Witchblade and Link Click abt a month or so ago. I was also planning to watch yuri kuma sometime soon bc i remembered ppl posting about it but i never watched it while it was airing, as well as a rewatch of banana fish bc my brother brought it up bc he was using it as a topic for his paper recently????? i dont even know why he knows it but oh. well i guess. was also gonna watch mignon but the art style is getting me and my city hunter plans have been dashed by the sheer volume of episodes scaring me for now

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: i like them all!

not sure i rly prefer one over the others but i like to bake so maybe sweet. did you know my baking enemy is cookies idk what it is but if im making my own from scratch somehow they always turn out wrong. fav thing to bake is cinnamon rolls i just havent done any in a while bc they take so long (also bc i wanna do peach cobbler style cinnamon rolls which ive done before! but that takes extra long bc of the extra toppings you have to make)

Relationship Status: who want me

Current Obsession: ok prefacing this with these r not good games and im gonna censor the names so they dont show up in tags

i got into some eroge gacha named wh*t in hell is bad back in october and it has not let up since. i filled an entire sketchbook almost w/ doodles of my mc. also replayed through nu c*rnival recently bc they added voice overs for almost the entire game for the second anniversary (ive been playing since maybe 3 months after its release). everything is on the backburner to me rn besides these games and maybe the everyday maintenance of shinozaki bc im thinking abt finishing it bc i love it. anyways forget abt those last two and look at shinozaki

Last Thing You Searched: list of mythical weapons

this was not for anything important except that i rly wanna get a black cat and name it excalibur (nicknamed cali for short). however excalibur is exclusively for if i get the litte black kitty of my dreams but if i get a cat w/ another coat eventually i have to pick a different name so i was brainstorming.

i didnt think this was so long (///￣ ￣///)

anyways ill tag @meicheesecake @feluka @beepiiboop @nil-number @theunstablejester @luminousrabbittt @scamoosh @tilapiamafia and im forgetting names but if u wanna do one then tag ur it ☆〜（ゝ。∂ )

[doomed-stickfigure-yuri]

augrh aurgh aurgh aurgh ember i just signed up for a fucking ZINE. a whole FANDOM ZINE. its very lowkey and literally no competition as well as purely digital but its a ZINE. if i do this im getting my nAME published. like??? my actual NAME. (not my irl/deadname obviously, i mean my NAME). that qualifies me to give writing advice right. or like theopposite. your pick. still working on that btw. will probablyyyyy get it on tomorrow because my nanowrimo is ticking away by the second and i gotta DO IT. 3: anywaysi wanted to tell someone thing but not make it an actual Post bc idk if its supposed to be like super secret. i didnt sign a nda tho so ptobably not but i WANTED TO BE SAFE. its past midnight for u when u see this. barely 9 here actually. i still got a good 3 hours to midnight. WISH ME LUCK 🗣🗣🗣

OUHHH THATS SO COOL !!! WAIT HOLD ON . I HAVE TO GOOGLE SOMETHING . OHHH THATS WHAT NANOWRIMO IS OK- GOOD LUCK WITH ALL YOUR WRITING!! AND YES THAT DEFINITELY DOES QUALIFY YOU TO GIVE ADVICE AND ALSO I DONT KNOW WHY IM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BUT IT FEELS RIGHT . ALSO I ACTUALLY GOT THISD AT LIKE A LITTLE AFTER 11 BUT I WAS RIGHT ABT TO EEPY SO I DIDNT RESPOND THEN HDKSHFKSN ok thats enough of the all caps . why so much all caps ? i woke up like twenty minutes ago my brain is an enigma man . anyways im going feral so ill be in your inbox to ramble about the running minds au sillies soon because God im losing it and also my packages arrived !!! The glass scientists physical copy..... its going to save my life 2day from the crushing boredom of church (id complain that i have to go but i Did sort of agree to it- i made my bed now i have to lie in it (im an atheist for the record dhskhdksjd)) See im having like a little transgender crisis here . because i generally am Out but its a church man . not even the fun kind like The Church its just A church . and i used to go there a long time ago so people are gonna recognize me and theyre gonna have questions abt my short hair and junk and im Scared man . i mean i live in a really good state for this kinda stuff but its a Church . anyways did you know theres a legoset of dt87 scrooge and the triplets?? i have it now and im going FERAL man cant wait to build it . my hyperfixation shelf is THRIVING also did u know theres a donald duck hotwheels . cuz there is and i have it

was too lazy to go take a picture of my own but Look At That Thang !!!

[nami-lvr]

Correct OP Headcannons

Ft: Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Robin, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Brook, and Franky!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

A/N: Hey guys! First post YAYAYAYYAYAY 🔥🔥 I love love love the silly show smsmsm and the next part will include Mihawk, Doffy, Cora, Buggy, and Crocodile!

Luffy

Erm I don’t have much for him

SIKE

Bro smells

Does not wash his ass

Has those back pimple thingys and lets you pop them (GROSS!!!)

Band kid

For sure

100% a band kid

iPad kid as well

Can’t do anything without entertainment

Has autism

If you disagree you don’t like autistic ppl :/ (JOKING OFC!!)

I think his special interest would be pirates bc he thinks they’re cool

Has greasy hair

Smells bad (knows) doesn’t care

Doesn’t floss his damn teeth

HAS CROOKED TEETH FIGHT ME ON THIS

Needs braces

Doesn’t get them bc this fool won’t take care of them

Paints his nails

Extremely ugly and bright colors

Cat shit green

Dog puke brown

Effervescent Shitstain

Whatever he can find

Usopp

My bbg would also be a band kid

Would not do anything with his hair.

At all.

Not even pick through it.

Goddamn it Usopp YOUR SCALP IS FALLING. OUT.

WASHYOURFUCKINGHAIRBOY

I swear

He just lets that shit grow

Won’t even loc up.

Istg DO SOMETHINF WITH UR HAIR

Only pulls bitches in his late teens/early adulthood because he doesn’t look 5 anymore

I’m convinced he has a gyatdayum uhhh

Fat ass

HAD TO SAY IT

Im positive that if he was real he would have that THANG just THANGin up back there

Grabbable asf

Nami

Popular pretty nice girl

Pick me (sorry!)

Would smell like strawberries for sure

Would be the girl to always have lotion on her

Would willingly take Spanish and be invested in it

Would always have gum on her

Lie about having gum on her so people won’t ask

People ask anyways

Definitelyyyy is the girl who only hangs out with guys (no shade to girls who do)

Not bc she gets along better

But because of Sanji 🙁

Literally they’re there to protect her from him (can you tell I hate Sanji yet 😛)

Basic white girl BUT I STILL LOVE HER

Stan Nami ong

She would be so proud of her friends

“Nami I got a 90% on my tes-“

“YAYYY! WERE GOING OUT TO EAT!”

So supportive

Very erm

Tough love kinda gal

You definitely have to WORK to be her friend

Robin

I heavily headcannon that she speaks Russian. (I’m projecting 😊)

She would teach you Russian for sure

And be like

Super nice about it

I love Robin

She is so

🩷🩷

Guys hear me out

She is a cat person

Would always wear fuzzy socks

Prefers the cold

She is allergic to grass fight me

Does yoga I can feel it in my bones

Would do yoga with you

Definitely bakes

Her favorite show is something true crime related

Zoro

Cmon man

This guy is so likeable

Dyes his hair a different color every month depending on what the awareness for that month is

As in blue for child abuse awareness month and green for mental health awareness month and so on

But no one knows that that’s why

They just think its cool

But he knows

He knows.

And I just think he would be the kind of guy to help the teachers clean the classroom

Straight C student

Sleeps in class

Has neck problems

Complains about said neck problems

Cycle repeats

Everyones friend

Natural born leader fr

Every tía would pass him the baby

He’s incredibly good with kids and wants some of his own

BUT!!!!

He is asexual

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Makes fun one people to their face (me for real)

Sanji

I fucking hate Sanji. Not sorry! He is weird 😁🫶🏻

Would probably grab my ass

Would probably stare at my boobs

(I’m a well built gal)

Chopper

My son

I adopted him back in erm

1800

Yes

Mexicans existed in the 1800’s and I adopted him then so

Everything I say from now on is cannon bc he is my son :p

Paints his nails

Bites his nails

Has autism

Bc I said so

Definitely loves plain pasta

Like thats his favorite food

Brook

Erm

I don’t really like him either-

SIKE YOU THOUGHT

Bro is a stoner

No more questions

Tokes it up in the back of class

Gives no fucks if he gets caught

The kinda guy you wanna smoke your first joint with

Extremely good trip sitter

I feel like

I really feel like

I hope hope hope

He would dislike Sanji for being perverted and see that its bad and change his ways

💔💔💔💔

Brook recovery arc bc i say so

#brook redemption arc

Franky

The fun uncle

Everyone loves Franky

Loud drunk

Extremely loud drunk

Like

Noise complaint loud kinda drunk

Still funny as shit thought

[gabrielultrakill-bigboobs]

take two. got anything on Swordmachine? if not, maybe Heaven or Holy Council specifically, whichever you prefer

not much on swordsmachine but i want to try to draw them sometime !! might make more from there because i really love the design for swordsmach :3 my silly little unidentified fucking thangs

anyways! holy council & heaven stuff since my partner & i have talked about them together in private !

sorry theres not as much as what i wrote for V1 and V2 because i still need to find the time to flesh out the council & the way they work (i dont know politics but i do have religious grandparents [i published stuff on ao3 while at their house])

to put it simply they’re fucking cunts and the highest ranking of them is some mf named jophiel (technical OC, uses the design of the guy who gabriel fuckig kills in the act 2 epilogue) who. yeah. has his issues but those aren’t an excuse for being a bigot. the council is the equivalent to overly religious people and even MORE pathetic politicians. with that out of the way

originally they were decent peacekeepers who kept order after god’s disappearance, but over the years, his (god’s) will was corrupted and twisted into something that barely resembled what it once was.

the council has control ove archangels, which are treated as a military force (see: gabriel) now that humanity is gone and they have no reason to be used as messengers anymore. things started to really go to shit after jophiel rose to power after previously being a trusted individual. he was “trusted”, yeah, but that doesn’t make him trustWORTHY. council was already pretty bad then, pulling 1984’s on anyone who even dared to question their actions, i.e some citizens who believed minos had a Point.

generally, the public in heaven is tolerant, however those governing its layers and the legal system aren’t in the slightest. i haven’t stated it outright yet but i think the council is queerphobic just because i can traumatize gabriel more if i implement that. plus there’s also minos’ thing about people being punished for loving so i’d say it’s probably implied in the first place

oh yeah also virtues purr when they’re happy :) thats technically related bc theyre angels

ANYWAYS i think the council is comprised of vastly different ‘species’ of angels (idk the exact term — but they’d all be supreme angels in the terminals’ words, just not the same kinda archangel/whatever as gabriel would be. jophiel being the exception but he’s an oc owned by me and my partner so fuck off.) but i havent exactly decidedddddd

i think the council should receive a pipe bomb from yours truly

theres likely way. way. WAY more to come once i’m able to actually write about my ultrakill headcanons instead of being a lazy cunt

[decrescending]

initial hadestown original broadway cast recording thoughts: woop this will be long bc i HAV so much

1. HOLY SH*T THE NEW PERSEPHONE VERSE! who’s doing the best she can? persephone! THATS WHO! i dont condone alcoholism but it definitely is a consequence of hades and persephone’s troubled marriage

2. um so whats up with seph introducing herself again in our lady of the underground

3. CMON GREEN THANG lmao hermes. the cast‘s reactions here is so cute uwu. i missed the slurping tho lmao for me it made livin it up on top tHAT song

4. seph and hermes taking orpheus parts in way down MAKES SENSE yall. im 100% on board. they know what happens in Hell and the mortals dont know shit

5. BRIAN DRYE ON THAT TROMBONE HOLY SH*T!

6. You’re early. I missed ya. F*CKING KILLS ME. EVERY SINGLE TIME

7. huh they really did skip to hey little songbird me for 0.005 seconds

8. PUTANGINA GAGO AJHSHJSHJASHSKH PATRICK PAGE!!!!!! HOW IS A GOD LIKE YOU ALLOWED TO WALK THIS EARTH???? HE KEEPS GETTING BETTER EVERY RECORDING IM IN TEARS I LOVE!!!!!

9. EVA’S where are you now, orpheusss?? GUYS I CANT STOP THE TEARS HOLY SH*T im always looking forward to this part bc it SHOWS so much about eurydice’s character and this productions’s portrayal of her relationship with orpheus

10. I FORGOT TO CLOSE MY MOUTH WTF IM STILL IN GOOSEBUMPS

11. WATCHU GON DO WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN??? NOOOOOOOW THAT THE CHIPS ARE DOWN? F*CKING LAY DOWN MY FACE FOR YOU TO STEP ON!!! these fates are so dang sassy I STAN

12. they sound so full and menacing SHOOT TO KILL indeed

13. eva my baby :((((((((( im gone’s gasp!!! I AM SO DEAD TOO

14. jewelle’s in her skiiiin growl and basically every line ender of this song SLAPS

15. wait for me’s opening notes!!!!! FOREVER FAV

16. mR. HERMES! really do radiate mr. sTaRK! energy

17. orpheus sings with all my heart. kill me the f*ck now

18. AT THIS POINT IM JUST SOBBING

19. who are youuu?? THE FATES REALLY PERSONIFY DOUBT™

20. ajdhasjdhashk you can hear when the set changes!

21. HERMES SINGING WITH ORPHEUS IN I AM NOT ALOOONE! F*CK I HADNT THOUGHT ID LOVE THIS SONG MORE BUT HERE WE GO

22. I’ve talked before how i prefer broadway’s wait for me over nytw’s. I STILL DO

23. THEY TOOK OUT EURYDICE’S SOLO IN WHY WE BUILD THE WALL????

24. in a way i do understand bc it singles out eurydice too much and at an outside vantage point it didnt really need to happen bc all the solo does is present eurydice’s thoughts at this point. IM STILL DISAPPOINTED THOUGH

25. asjdhfjkdh my dumbass only now realized that anything can happen on the factory floor when the foreman turns his back is about persephone’s illegal spring club lmao

26. anybody want a drink? NEVER fails to make me laugh

27. i love our lady of the underground and livin it up on top but didnt seph already introduce herself in livin? sounds redundant tbh

28. but it gets us amber aND I AM HERE FOR IT. I JUST LOVE HER OKAY

29. THIS MUSICAL NAMING EVERY SINGLE BAND MEMBER! I WILL LOVE FOREVER AND EVER! ALSO THE CAST REACTING IS SO CUTE AND SUPPORTIVE

30. BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOu wANT stAAARRRS????? I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD GET BETTER!

31. tell my husband to take his time hades’ infidelity confirmed :/

32. ITS FLOWERS! EVA MY BABY I LOVE YOU

33. oh no theres no growling, shes playing it softer than onstage????????

34. IM KINDA DISAPPOINTED LIKE 1% BC I LOVED THE GROWLING-REGRETFUL-ANGRY-AT-HERSELF EURYDICE SO MUCH

35. OOPS NEVERMIND HER youuUUUUU, the one who i left behind RESSURECTED ME

36. andre’s super soft road to hell intro :((((((((((((((((((((((((((( i BAWL

37. its a sad song, its a sad tale, iTS A TRAGEDY. its a sad song. bUT WE SING IT ANYWAY GODS ANAIS. This song perfectly captures hadestown’s mythical origins. I WILL LOVE FOREVER AND EVER

38. u can hear the cracking in andre’s voice in iTS A SAD SONGs and the cast! the harmonies! I STAN EVERY SINGLE ONE

39. we’re gonna sing it again and again always ALWAYS KILLS ME HOLY SHIT

40. OHMY GOD THAT WAS A WILD F*CKING RIDE lets play it again! (and again)

notice how they released the songs highlighting the four tony nominated cast members? bar wait for me, which is a CLASSIC fav. i mean i get it, even if we wanted reeve to be nominated and even if the cast wants to, MORE SO than we do i daresay, they had to make sure the nominated ones get as much exposure as they can

ALSO i really love the sentiment that hadestown’s many versions and iterations actually makes it SO TRUE to mythology. myths and stories gets passed down in yeARS and generations until we mix whats right or wrong and better or worse. somebody posted about this a long time ago im sorry i cant remember you :( but thats what makes it so beautiful!! YOU CANT JUST F*CKING DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT! we all have our preferences and no one’s is the same as the person beside them but its the same musical we all adore.

also im still laughing about this but i forgot to include it up top dANA LYN! on the vioLIN!! LMAO

[itshappyharu]

Slice of Life #1: Toxic Friend

I never had any friends whom I feel like they wanted me to fail. But I encounter one during my 1st year of Degree. At first, everything was just fine with this girl. But, the more I spend time with her, the more I will feel sick to my stomach….

The 1st red flag should have been when she told my fav lecturer, Dr. Z about how miserable I am after I broke up with my almost 5 years boyfriend. And that includes when I unconsciously pull and release hairband that was on my wrist (?) It was something I do during that time, only, whenever I wanted to stop myself from crying or whenever I zoned out. I will end up having bruises around my wrist. To make myself clear, I personally don’t think it’s a form of self-harm. I think it is just a bad habit from a bad heartbreak …?

Anyway I decided to feel safe when I told her how bad my heartbreak was. I use the term decided because that’s what I want to believe. That I am safe and I can trust this girl and pour my heart out to her.  I decided to trust her.

You guess it right, I trust the wrong person. And Dr. Z seems disappointed at me. Why? Because Im one of her fav student. She even told me that if she has a son, she wanted me to be her son’s girlfriend. (my fav lecturer were very childish hence the immature conversation) . I guess Dr. Z change her mind when something clicks as to why I sometimes skipped some lecturer when I'm not the type to skipped any school activity.

This girl, however, was in some sort of way, a good friend too. She was that friend that has the same level of humor as me. So laugh come out easily whenever we were together. And… she always cheers on me for whatever I do. However, she lowkey able to make me feel bad when I'm happy. She always gives me this crappy lecture on how lucky I am to be “perfect” (at least in her eyes ..) and how miserable she is. I know it sounds like nothing, but the tone she used while “beautifully” explaining how good my life is, was draining. Almost mocking me. And in the end, I feel bad about being happy around her.

My life is far from perfect. This blog was even created because of my crappy side of life that I can't really rant on my “real-life people” just because I'm not comfortable with the idea of telling other people my problem when they already have their own problem too.

Its good to note that, she was always the grumpiest during my birthday. Tell me which close friend will wish you a plain “happy birthday!” or “oh today is syaza’s bday” instead of properly wish my birthday. AGAIN, this might sound like a small matter, but I just can't understand how straight forward she is to not wanting me to be happy :’)!!

During one of my birthday where she refuses to wish me a happy birthday was when I live with her for a few weeks, she rants on how so many people are wishing me (because I was smiling the whole day. Some of my high school friends make a video to wish me a happy birthday and that I feel so happy ) and she will never be that happy cause no one loves her. She ends her rant with a big sigh. I end up feeling like throwing up. I end up feeling guilty about being happy for my own birthday.

Also, SHE DROVE ME CRAZY when she always gives other people from our school who live in the school dormitory SIDE EYES just because they were looking at us. OF COURSE, THEY WILL LOOK AT US, CAUSE WE NEVER LIVE HERE, WE ONLY HERE FOR A FEW WEEKS CAUSE THIS DORM IS CLOSER TO OUR TRAINING PLACE. Sometime i think she really want to have beef with everyone....

She also loves to criticize how hardworking I am whenever we have exams. Let me be honest with yall, I study hard for any type of exam, bcs im a slow learner. Whether it be an only mid-term exam or final exam. I will always do my very best. For eg, I have 3 different notes (i. simplified notes where I just cut, copy & paste an important section from our lecturer PPT for each subject. ii. Handwritten notes of mind map about the topic plus extra notes I get from other sources. iii. A very simple note with key points to help me memorize everything).

��It's just how I study! And who decided its good to criticize me for how I'm so “worked up” when it's just a midterm exam?? This girl did. She said it loudly & annoyingly too and of course, she will rant to everyone how smart I am when I got the best result honeyyyyyyyyyyy--------

and so I decided to stop spending too much time with her.

All this time, I try very hard to accept that it was just me. And I just can't vibe with this girl’s bad side. Because I believe everyone has their bad side, even I do. That’s why not everyone can vibe with us. Cause we have our own preference, who to like or not to like.

But recently, she fought with her best friend too. If I'm gonna be honest, part of me was relieved that I was not the only one who thinks she’s kinda wrong and had a negative impact on one life. Mind you, I can blow up if I reached my limit, but most of the time I'm a pretty reserved person. And that other best friend of her was nothing like me. But it was not for me to tell. 

So if you have a toxic ‘friend’. Here’s my advice:

o   If you don’t want to have bad blood with anyone (aka me, because I'm more peaceful that way) try to avoid being around that ‘friend’. Spend as little time as possible with that person. OR

o   Just cut them off lol. And have a beef thang. Lol jk, but

o   Do what's best for yourself. No one should make you feel bad about yourself. It's not worth it, if it cost your mental health.

bye bye for now ! lets be happy :)

[2-2048]

one of my favorite tropes is revisiting a past love so ummm isagi x f!reader pre and post blue lock 🙏

okay what i'm thinking is it's nearing the end of summe and it's like a sunset kinda vibe with thw reader and isagi just chilling, hes walking his bike while matching your pace and the both of yall are like kinda reminiscinf about the end of summer and just an overall nostalgic and bittersweet feel about it.

and the rhing is yall both know you guys like each other but the weirdness of summer ending almost felt like it wasnt the right time to confess your feelings. because of that bittersweetness of summer, the taste was too strong on your tongue for words to come out your mouth.

then he gets accepted into blue lock, youre sorta doing ur own thing bc yall dont go to the same hs so you just drift away from him. it isnt until you watch the u-20 game and are watching the bltv shit that youre like omg its isagi but hes like different from what you rememebr.

theres a lot of seasonal motifs throughout the fic , i am thinking , to match the theme of the summer ends by american football. wait. as i see the name of the ppl who wrotw this song it is perfect. american FOOTBALL. okay bye

ALSO i just checked isagi's wiki page and his favorite season is autumn holy shit my brain

anyways yall griw up and do ur own thang and once again it is the end of summer. work kept you in your hometown so you feel a little sad that unlike isagi, you've been kept, contained in your hometown your whole life. well that's what happens when your hometown needs a lot of ppl in your expertise. but

anyways! it's the end of summer once again and guess who's back home for his mother's bday? that's right, mf yoichi isagi. and when y'all meet (idek how y'all would even meet since atp you guys are so far apart from each other emotionally that it doesn't make sense for u guys to just meet up out of nowhere but i'll make it work) it's kinda awkward! there's more of that bitterness in the bittersweetness than there is of the sweetness in that feeling. you two are so different now. but as you twi begin talking and catching up, you realize that you're only just constantly missing each other. both literally and emotionally. again there's that weird feeling. is it the sunset that has come earlier than it has last week? is it his face, that's matured and more refined since you both properly spoke? whatever it is, you want more of that feeling. and so does he.

and then u guys fuck

the summer ends by american football... im gonna make a fic to this. watch

[sailorswelcome]

cadmium yellow, yellow ochre, titans, burnt sienna, english red, rose, cobalt blue spectral, prussian azure, olive green ((ranger green...)), sepia there are a lot here i know im sorry

ranger green... the perfect color. anyway

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

the view of blackfish creek from the highway because i have a distinct memory from when i was 14 on the way to school riding past there when i realized i was happy and not afraid all the time anymore

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

been vibin to a little bit of voxtrot lately. soft and warm really do get me

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?

early mornings if im alone but evenings if im with friends

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

my favorite paintings are leviathan by bo bartlett, gleipnir by walton ford, and man proposes, god disposes by edwin henry landseer in that order. i guess i would say out of all of them leviathan brings me the most peace bc its my favorite but theyre all kinda. bloody. so idk

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

coyotes bc they are funny little bastards who can adapt to most environments and many food sources and are often viewed as a pest but theyre super cool

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

the weather has been perfect all summer

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

the palatine hill in rome. ultimate levels of overwhelming beauty. olive trees and cats and rabbits and flowers and just aaa aaa i would kill to be there rn

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

air conditioners and freezers. they have some chemical in them that makes them so good. fucking addicted to the sniff

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far?

i have a big ass stack of books ive been working thru but im currently reading “ice ghosts” and francis’ croziers biography bc im a big nerd. but i just finished “why fish dont exist” and it made me cry like a baby so i definitely recommend that one for any depressed gay people or fish and taxonomy nerds

sepia: name five things that always make you happy

the ocean, eating some good bread, snow, my friends, air conditioner smell (as previously discussed), and playing guitar

thank u miss thang i love you so much and i cant wait 2 see ur answers

[mariaaamaaarquez]

energy.

Okay HI! 

Currently writing this 38065 feet in the air, its -62 degrees outside, and I am zooming at a happy 541 mph! Fun Times!!!! 

(PS- The first half of this was written on my flight back home from SD, the second half was written today.)

I know that while I was away for the weekend in San Diego I was LACKIN w the blogs but a bitch is back and better than ever.

Anyways lets start.

Todays post is one thats genuinely been on my mind so freaking much, its crazy.

I dont know what it is. idk if its family, friends, relationships, or what thats triggering it. 

(Or maybe its just that im a virgo and I hate when I dont get things my way.)

whatever.

Im a big people person. I love people. I love being social and inviting towards others.

But sometimes thats a curse as much as it is a blessing.

Why?

Because sometimes, I create these images of people.

I’ll meet someone, and then based on how they act towards me, and the things they say, ill create this image of them in my head. But ive come to realize that when you first meet someone, its all butterflies, and rainbows- but when You really get to know them- when you get into the little crevices of their soul, and crack open their flaws and imperfections..

Thats when it gets me. Like reeeaallllyyy comes for me like a truck hitting me in the face. 

(or kinda like when you take a dab and you dont realize how big it is and then you realize but its too late and you start coughing like crazy ok yeah you get the point MOVINGGG ON)

The reason for it getting me is mostly because soon after getting to know people to a certain extent- shit changes. Some people maybe realize you aren’t the right person for them. But see I never notice that- I continue to try. And I dont even mean this just when im boy crazy- I mean it in general.

I continuously try and see the best in people. Which is so crazy to me because I have been hurt so many times (& counting) for letting myself continue to just see the best in people. You could throw a brick at my face and id still try and find a way to love you.

But would you do the same for me?

If I threw a brick at your face, would you still find ways to love me?

If I broke you

If I hurt you

The way you hurt me

Would you still find ways to love me?

No.

You wouldn’t.

And see thats what im tryna get at here. I am so good at forgiving, 

(dont get me wrong tho bc I dont forget) 

but its so easy for me to get hurt that way.

If a boy is giving me the same signals the last one did, and the last one broke my heart- what makes me think this one is different?

If a girl-friend was jealous of me and did everything she could to make me feel worse about myself than I already do- what makes me think I can trust the next one with my whole life story?

Seriously- I wonder I wonder I wonder,

What makes me think things are going to be different?

And as far as my family goes? Theres always something, no matter how much energy I put in, its never reciprocated back to me.

Its been like that a lot recently.

Dont get me wrong, im a very firm believer on the fact that people that are meant to be in your life WILL be in your life. 

I dont like forcing shit.

I dont like people doing a half ass job at maintaining a friendship, or relationship with me.

Im tired of it.

I know I deserve better.

Shit, I deserve the fucking world.

I deserve people that would go to the edge of the fucking universe if they had to for me.

Not no half ass only hit you when they’re bored or need something type of people.

My birthday’s coming up.

The bigggg eighteen.

There was a plan- a whoooole exciting ass plan

But now?

Do I even want to?

The vibe isn’t the same, with anyone

I dont wanna feel like I have to get drunk or high in order to have a god time with these people anymore.

I want to be able to say these are my people and this is why I am here.

But lately ive been getting such half ass energy I dont even wanna deal with it anymore.

I dont wanna be that girl.

The girl that goes away for college and goes completely ghost on everyone for the next four years- or maybe doesn’t even come back.

But right now,

Thats what its looking like.

Its kind of like that whole “people only miss you when you’re gone” type of shit (obviously im not dying but you get the point)

Will you miss me?

Will it even matter?

Doesn’t seem like it.

Its shitty, but its eye opening. 

Extremely fucking eye opening.

If my walls could talk, they’d be some of the saddest happy walls of all time. They’ve seen the face time calls, the movie nights with ex boo thangs or girl friends, all of it. 

Like have any of you ever thought about that? If your walls in your room could talk- what would they ask you about? WHO would they ask you about? 

“What happened to this person?”

“Did you just stop talking?”

“Weren’t you best friends?”

“ok seriously get out of bed”

Lmao that last one was just a funny relatable one that my walls would 99.9999% say to me if they could talk lmao-but all of the above as well sisters.

But if they did talk- I KNOW they’d know exactly what I mean about this energy one. Like seriously they’d probably think im stupid as fuck for always putting my 110% into people that won’t do the same for me.

but

there are certain people- certain friendships

that I would give my life for.

I would put myself in jeopardy for these people.

and one specific one has been on my mind lately 

and I would blow up my entire life for her.

matter of fact- I already did.

she is my backbone and my rock- and I value her so much.

she's the one that could throw a brick at my face and id still find ways to love her, and lately my energy has been off with her.

not anymore. 

no more lies

no more secrets

and it could mean im risking it all

risking her

risking other people

and risking myself

but I leave in three weeks, and someone like her?

I will never find someone like her

she is a light

she is a beauty

she is a ball of life

waiting for her time to come

so she can shine as bright as the sun

she is amazing

and I would take a million bullets for her if I had to

and just like that, as my phone blows up- the truth has come out,

and the energy, will forever be unmatched. 

fuck em’.

besitos, 

ria.

[smireyac]

yea boi u already kno what it issssss 🍾🎆🎉🍾🎆🎉

hey so i started writing this at 8 o’ clock so i would be ahead of the game and actually have more than an hour to write but HEY its already 20 after midnight so who the eff care amiright ladies

WOOOOO 🍾🍾🎆 🎉 🎆 🍾 🎉 🎉 🍾 🍾 🍾 🎆🎆 🎆 🎉 🎆 🎉🍾 🎉 🍾🎆 🎉

so.................... its 2019.....................

i watched vox’s “2018 in 5 minutes” video and cried so thats how this year has been :^) a lot of lows......... we always think we leave the shittiest year behind then lo.............. the next year rears its ugly head and we never learn............ despite this, im gonna try to keep a positive outlook on the new year......... its literally just another day and i have to be in at work @ 9 tmrw but its what ever im already super fucking tired whats losing another hour of sleep anywahy?? its practically expected of me any way what with being a youth,,, ANYWAY i spent my time ringing in the new year watching spiderman homecoming so i think that wa sGREAt its also great  that im gonna get to see spiderverse AGAIN tmrw after work so SUCK ON THAT im ringing in the new year RIGHT!! its a very spidey new year and i wouldnt have it any other way heh.....

alright

so its time.... to reflect...........

and actually reflect this time last year was weak sauce compared to the first year “im too unfocused right now happy new year or whatever” *scoffs* what r u too good for self reflecting now a days huhh

been doing a lot of self reflecting this year,,,,,, but today we will look back on how the previous years have gotten me to where i am today...

if 2016 was the year of change and 2017 was the year of getting used to things.............. 2018 felt like............ the year of getting TOO used to things, of not ENOUGH change............. like alright i scratched a few of the bigger things on my yearly “to do” list/resolutions, i. e. finally going back to school and getting a job at the library, but like.......... i definitly dont feel like i did enough........... my art game was SO WEAK and i feel like i wrote less than 10,000 words ALL YEAR (not counting my academic papers) i didnt really CREATE anything this i dont have ANYTHING significant to show for this year............and to get more negative i didnt even make any friends all year NONE FRIENDS im only *just* starting to get more friendly with people at the library thank GOD theyre nice and gave my shy ass a chance to open up but i still dont feel like ill make FRIEND friends theyre just work friends and u kno what thats making me so pissed bc its tricking my dumb ass into thinking i have a crush on someone at work aND that i want a *romantic* relationship with them!!! OUTRAGEOUS im so peeved.......................... i also still havent gotten behind a wheel but at this point im not sure if i will anytime soon bc im That Way..... grrrr im just mad thinking of all the things i didnt do so motherfucker i will make 2019 the year of DOING!!!! and i had so many resolutions last year i feel like the more i had the less i felt like i had to do them, like i was just saying all that to be like “oh wouldnt it be nice if any of these things happened lmao” so yeah 2019: the year of DOING... and since ive kinda sorta figured out that writing is my thang.... i think i wanna focus on doing that.. and anything that will help me do it

SO: #GOALS for 2K19

-WRITE AT LEAST 50.000 WORDS U COWARD, more than just “brainstorming” too bc thats like a cop out, write like stories or dialogue or scenes or scripts or WHATEVER just make it to 50,000 pls some people do that in like a month

-READ UR GOD DAMN BOOKS, u *cant* buy anymore if u dont read the ones u’ve already bought,,,, im willing to make an acception re: checking things out from the library................ but u rlly shouldnt IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO EASY TO WIN THE BET DUDE srsly..... maybe .... an hour b4 bed ? try to read ? at least try to read once a week dude....

-heres a curve ball WATCH MORE MOVIES !!! u say u love film well fuckin act like u do...... u only went to the movie theater 5 times all year and three of those were all in the last month to go see spiderverse, more than that HOW MANY movies are there on netflix that u see and go “oh i should watch that finally” or “people say thats rlly good bro” and u scroll right past to watch the same 3 fuckin movies i s2g

-oh yeah back to the writing thing, to reach that 50,000 goal u should write about what you read and watch, there u’ll prob meet the goal b4 summer if u do that bro but....u actually gotta do it....................

ok those r the 4 im REALLY gonna work on and try to keep track of in either of the journals sien got me :^) these next few i rlly want to happen but..... we’ll see

-make some friends pls.... pls be more friendly......... ENGAGE  people when u have the opportunity askQUESTIONS about them like if they have a dog or a hobbie jesus h christ

-go out..... on ur own..... do stuff............by urself if u have to... go to the movies by urself go to a park, walk around down town for the fuck of it idk DO STUFF

-finish something............ for once in ur miserable life...................................... finish the vlog or the scrapbook..... or the reading list or this set of goals PLEAsE ANYTHING

im not even gonna put draw/art blog related stuff on here bc........ its not what i want........ like i love drawing and i dont think im terrible at it, im at a good place with it but i dont wanna put my energy this year into drawing stuff for the sake of me being able to say “i did it” like...... last yr and the yr b4 i rlly RLLY wanted to get better at art to idk prove that i could?? but like i havent picked up my drawing tablet in months ... that makes me really sad but i dont really feel like picking it up either? ? i said i wanted to take a painting/color theory/ life drawing class maybe i will this yr and it’ll reinvigorate my love of drawing........ tbh spiderverse got me *this close* to being pumped about art and animation and like yeah i still am, i love the medium and its still a dream of mine to be apart of it but it feels like a pipe dream if i try to go thru the art angle........ so many people r better than me at that and its not really what i wanna do,,, i wanna CREATE STORIES and worlds and characters and like i used my art to help *me* develop those but... i dont wanna use my art to do it for someone else i guess............. the art of animation itself still facsinates me so they door isnt close yet but,,, i wanna focus on the other aspect of myself that im more and at the same time LESS confident about lmao WRITING like alright,,, i think im a good writer .... sorta ? like yeah people tell me i am and sometimes when i look back on things ive written im like “dAMN i wrote this ???” but like,,,, there are some things to writing that still. escape me... like poetry.... and a lot of other aspects to it that i cant describe write now bc it would take too long and im getting cold and tired SO YEAH hopefully this english class will help me, even tho its just writting for college essays, i need to start somewhere and if shes rlly as good of a professor as rate my professor says then ill learn smthg new

where was i

well the year wasnt ALL bad, like i said i got the job at the library i wanted and FINALLY got to go to school, stressful as that mightve been........ and i got to see my love, my darling, the light of my life rhys again for one glorious week,, hopefully ill be able to see more of my friends this year? either in miami or milwuakee idc which MAYBE BOTH lmao im not that rich but hey i can dream,,,

alright its 1:12am i think im ready to sign off,,,,,,,,, here’s to DOING in 2019

🥂 cheers