#bongos.answers.🥝

[dadsbongos]

I was wondering.. How would kabru fare having a wet dream about reader and having to come to terms with his own feelings? Could you please write a scenario based on that?

268 words / reader has a vagene, not super proofread ~~~

Warm fat pillows between the gaps of his fingers, blunt nails biting the flesh apart for him to split you open on his tongue.

Hot air catches and cools your glossy slit, earning a sloppy hump in response. 

Kabru’s tongue slithers out of your hole to flatten over you wetly, circling your clit. Nose nuzzling the bud with a seedy groan, one you reward by winding both hands through his hair and tugging. Thighs clamped around Kabru’s head, chest shivering with each ragged huff and gasp. Whimpers and spiced whines lulling from your tightening gut.

“Fuck, Kabru, more please!” you beg, as if he would ever refuse you.

His clothed(? he thinks, he somehow cannot remember) hips dig down into the mattress. Is he on a mattress? 

Blue eyes flutter up at you, back arching and legs quivering and none of his concerns matter anymore when you’re gushing on his face.

Then cold, blistering cold billowing across his groin, chest, and face. 

He left the window open.

Kabru blinks, the stars don’t so much as flicker back. A groan follows.

He left the window open.

Sitting up from his tangle of sheets and lazily-strewn shirts, Kabru combs through dark curls. Another shiver racketing his body as the breeze catches soiled underwear.

Disgusting.

And the longer he’s awake, the more he just wishes you were here next to him. Worst part being he doesn’t even need it to be intimate, as long as you’re in bed and he can crawl in beside you that would be enough. But you’re not.

Kabru’s alone. Pining for one of his employees.

Disgusting…

[dadsbongos]

Hi!!! Hope you’re doing well - I just want to take a moment to gush before I ask something, because I’ve really enjoyed your blog since finding it:

1: your writing is SO good I’ve reread your dunmesh fics several times now & just eat them up every reread. I’m stoked you also have funger content & can’t wait to eat those up

2: your blog’s aesthetic is just 🤌🤌 chefs kiss

3: your chilchuck’s wife fic - I’m convinced you are the chilchuck expert you characterized him so well (& the bit in the 3some fic when he choked the reader ? gulp)

OKAY on the with the actual question: I was wondering if you have any chil thoughts for the chilfuckers? Maybe some sfw / nsfw?

thank youuu :] i'm so glad to provide for the dungeon community with both meshi and funger <3 and also extra glad to make the chilchuck people proud, he's my fav lil man

i have so many chilthoughts bc i am a verified chilfucker i need that middle aged man

nsfw chilthoughts 

MEAN mean man

Likes to make his partners huff and whine, especially if they start haughty or mouthy

Facefucking, especially, for the mouthy ones. Wants to shut you up and make you drool

Lately the thought of Chilchuck fist-fucking a bigger race has been making me sweat… like yeah lil man, get up in that thang… I need to write it. Maybe some dwarven wench who keeps mocking Chil, or an ogre that feels its appropriate to pick n lift him up while working

Schrodinger’s breeder kink - sometimes its all he’s thinking about and sometimes the thought is entirely uninteresting

Touched on it a BIT in my body swap fic but i think Chil has a really sensitive neck and likes being held there (maybe not choked, but grabbed and stroked for sure)

Has a secret goon for younger partners but doesn’t like admitting to it, the taboo of it makes him all hot especially since he knows most other races can’t tell. Like a VERY poorly kept secret that could ruin his distinguished reputation

i also have chilchuck fic ideas that i haven’t fleshed out, but thought it’d be a shame if they sat in my ‘puter unseen:

Idea 1: Reader is a young elf, only about 72, and against all odds began dating Chilchuck. On his 30th birthday, it's brought to attention that you’ll be in your 90s when he dies. Leading to a spiral wherein you’re just trying to live in blissful ignorance to your races’ lifespan difference, and Chilchuck assumes you’re mature enough to handle his death, move on, and remember him fondly… lol… anyway. When Chilchuck dies you study how to maintain your own mana without a dungeon and practice minor healing spells until you can do a full revival, which fails on Chil, so you have to turn to dark magic. Basically rewinding his life until he’s the same age as when you two met and he’s upset you brought him back because YOU could get in major trouble and that’s when you confess you didn’t tell anyone when he died bc you knew you’d bring him back -- and you’re a nutcase that keeps doing this every time he dies despite knowing he wants to die peacefully. Omg loving someone so much you need them at all costs even ruining their perception of you… 

Idea 2: Chilchuck helping a 20-ish(+?) y/o half-foot negotiate a contract for themself and he thinks they’re soooooo cute so they get together, and he’s kinda nervous to bring them around cuz you’re crazy young compared to him. Not even a child to speak of GASP. The party doesn’t notice at ALL cuz they have no idea about anything about half-foot aging and customs -- but his daughters look at him sideways lmao

and this is literally not even a full fic idea but i have a note from my chilchuck master doc for you lol

im so normal about him

[dadsbongos]

Mean chilchuck is so real. Him spanking an annoying party member with his belt is so 🤭 and then sort of lovingly mocking them after while he rubs the red marks

AHAHAHA yeah

that or him making you get off on his thigh just to mock your little moans and whimpers and call you a desperate slut. yanking your hair to expose your throat, telling you to get louder for him or else he won't help you...

chilchuck putting an annoying party member in their place until they're just a babbling drooly mess that can only thank him for the attention

hahah... wow... love him

[dadsbongos]

MINIMUM WAGE LAIOS LETS gooooooo no bc the fic was so cute😭😭 obsessed w everyone’s characteristations now I wanna know more about minimumwage!dunmeshi verse lmaooo. Also I screamed when I read hawk tuwa

ngl i meant to erase hawk twah (and the ultra violet lesbian line) from the record but i was so tired i just left it in. glad i did though cuz i've gotten a couple people now saying it made them giggle

and omg!!! minimum wage dunmeshi... i assume about the grocery store i made up in my mind sorry if not

so.

laios is a courtesy clerk. very polite and kind, honestly, just not outgoing towards the customers (even downright avoiding them sometimes lol)

kabru is the tired assistant front end manager. has to stay wayyy later than the store managers and do all the actual important shit for a quarter of the pay. always on the employee's side, but is such a workplace drama instigator.

mithrun and toshiro exclusively work self-checkout and only interact with each other. toshiro because everyone else is jarring in their customer-service voices and mithrun cuz he's been there basically since the store opened and doesn't give a FUCK.

i can see falin being a pharm tech that got her brother the job. she's not really a customer favorite because she under-explains things and comes off spacey.

marcille opens at the customer service desk. she WANTED to be in the pharmacy too but couldn't remember which medications conflicted with each other and was politely "asked" to step down.

chilchuck closes the service desk. he's been there almost as long as mithrun and similarly has no desire to move up in the chain of command. doesn't want more responsibility and likes how isolated the desk is. he can sit back there and get paid for it. it's great.

izutsumi is another courtesy clerk. she started like three weeks ago and already hates it. does not mind letting laios do most of her work. has already been written up and receives many poor performance reviews from secret shoppers.

senshi wanted to be in the meat department but they had "no available positions" so he got stuck as a cashier. says he really doesn't mind (LIAR). very approachable though! gives honest item recommendations and nutrition advice based on what customers are checking out. always thanks people for stopping by. women want him, men also want him.

namari doesn't know how it happened, but she's also assistant supervisor. she started as a courtesy clerk, then skipped cashiering to go behind the customer service desk and one day was asked what she thought of becoming afem. acts more like a regular coworker than a supervisor though and doesn't care for customers. constantly wondering if she's able to step back down because the additional little jobs are extremely tedious and annoying to her lol

rin quit forever ago but came back as a cashier because kabru BEGGED her to because they needed more help.

inutade is another courtesy clerk, actually likes her job???

yaad and thistle are assistant store managers, rarely do you see them actually out on the floor. yaad is excused as an airhead and thistle's reputation flips from sweet summer child to ruthless twat constantly.

delgal is the big bad head store manager everyone has a secret power-crush on. very kind to employees on the RARE times he interacts with them. kabru sees him a lot because delgal asks for opinions on how the store could improve -- kabru adores delgal as a boss.

[dadsbongos]

praise to oxy for reblogging you because I have become obsessed with your writing, the variations on minimum wage Laios im so in love with him getting to cum on and off the clock 💞

hehehe thank you so much!!!

big praise 2 @toxycodone genuinely such an inspiration to me writing-wise. he captures every character so well (laios to kabru to chilchuck to chimera falin), always managing to write them in a new angle i never even considered before but find absolutely enthralling!

and like, this is gonna sound so weird, but i'm genuinely so motivated by the horny status(TM). not to sound like a puritan but it's strangely freeing to be like "yeah if i post my full freak there's gonna be an audience" cuz his writing is so immersive and sensational

(i got excited to talk about oxy heh :3 i'm so normal)

also @hhoneyhams has a minimum wage laios fic that's so so good also very yummy

[dadsbongos]

I can't really explain why but it makes me a little sad to think that Laios will have to have a kid because he needs an heir when he becomes king

my first, gut instinct when i saw this was to make the worst, most tragic tale of laios being forced to produce an heir and overcoming daddy issues to be a dad (but still unintentionally giving his kid daddy issues)

but i'm strong! (i still want to)

honestly idk if laios NEEDS to have an heir because of how he rose to the position. since he's not of royal blood and is just some dude that did an epic quest, his entire claim to the throne fucks with divine right... which is how monarchs justified monarchy

laios could probably figure a way out of it by naming a successor since, again, he's not of noble decent nor related to delgal or yaad

[dadsbongos]

pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease write more Kabru x reader, you write him in a way that scratches a specific itch in my brain and it's SO good

so. i do have another couple kabru thingies i'm working on, they're just taking more time than i thought.

kabru x estranged spouse because... the potential is so ripe... he knows exactly why you left and even though he's an expert in people, and you should be the person he knows most, he has NO idea how to fix your relationships. GAH i want to make him suffer

and then there's a sillier idea, you're laios' advisor purely because you're his friend and know a bit about economics. kabru's been pursuing "friendship" (observation via microscope) with you since your days as adventurers and he's always found you WORSE than laios because you ignore him on actual purpose and pretend you don't know who he is

[dadsbongos]

me when i answer the oc question so that u would post ur oc (its a excuse to draw) AHDJAJSJ ANYWAY!! ☝️ been an anon for a while erm account reveal!! hope this isn’t weird but here 🫶🫶

OMGOMGOMGM SHUT UP SHUT UP (KEEP TALKING OMG) AHHH that is so cute thank you!!!!its the lady!!! is the gal!!!! with chilshrimp

i LOOVE how you did the hair and her face is soooo sosos cute I'm screaming so hard

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH thank you so much!!! i will show this picture to my children and my grandchildren and their children and so on forever

[dadsbongos]

I think atp I've read all of your denji writings. And. God they're all so LOVELY !!! You're such a good author ... the way u characterize him and write him and everything always makes me feel so excited and happy and giddy. I'd love to rq more denji stuff from you but my head is so empty when it comes to ideas, but one of these days, surely!!

Not the point of this, though! Just wanted to say how much I love and adore your work and hope you keep it up 😋👍🏽 while ofc not overworking yourself or burning yourself out !!!

hehe FANK YOU i love denji that poor sugar cookie.

burn out gets more and more real but i am being sure to regulate myself as much as i can lol!! i hope to keep ya entertained *thumbs up emoji*

[dadsbongos]

hi! i just wanted to ask, didn't you have a wattpad acc before? i first saw your works there and i was OBSESSED! esp with the dabi x daughter reader story where toga accidentally stabbed the reader and they died, i don't remember it fully now, but it was my favorite and i'm itching to read it again but i can't find it anymore (/□＼*)

omg the ancient tomes... anon, when i tell you i have been trying to find that exact fic for ages... you wouldn't even believe me

i think it's just deleted, cuz i can't find my old account and the fic isn't in my docs anymore and i'm simply heartbroken. it was cringe but it was me at my free-est

also that was like ?? 8 years ago i started that wattpad account, hiii wow what a long time

PLEASE i'm reaching out to the masses if you ever downloaded or copied my old wattpad work reach out to me. or if you can somehow find the account let me know i've deen desperate to find it

[dadsbongos]

Hello!! I absolutely love your writing SO much and you're an inspiration to help me with putting my own dunmeshi writing out after a looong writing slump, so I thought I'd let you know! I want more writing pals but alas I am too shy to come off anon. But you can call me Artemis! I particularly reaaaally love your takes on writing Laios and Kabru! You do them SO well!

hello artemis hehe!!

i'm so glad my fics could do that for you!! i'd love if we could be writing pals, those are the best pals :] i'm also happy my interpretations on laios and kabru are well-taken! i feel like they're a couple of the ones you really can't mess up without sucking someone out of a fic

they're also complicated, and fan faves so it's always nervewracking trying to get them right lol

[dadsbongos]

One of my favorite things about your fics are the graphics you use for the header. They make me smile without fail :)

hehe thank you!! they're so fun to make

[dadsbongos]

I LOVE UR LAIOS FICS I EAT THRM UPP

HEHE THANK YOU I HOPE THEYRE TASTY

[dadsbongos]

Question, do you write requests for the winged lion?

depends. i don't think i could do outright fluff with the guy it'd have to be masked by like 3+ layers of manipulation and mental horror.

also idk if i could do smut unless he's in a more anthro/humanoid form. cuz like we both know he's not actually a lion. BUT he sure looks like one lol

[dadsbongos]

So kinda lame summary but here it is. A monster/half-monster/beastkin reader joins the Touden party with no ill intent. They just want to make friends, find a place in society, and live normally. The reader covers their monstrous features so they look human, and only shows them if they trust someone.

The plan was to become friends and maybe reveal that they're a monster/part monster. That option is immediately thrown out when they learn the party mostly eats monsters. So now the reader stays fully covered up out of fear of possibly being eaten. Shocker, they get caught by Laios. He's even more surprised when the first thing the reader says is "please... please don't eat me" while they're on the brink of tears.

I'd like this to have a happy ending cause I love hurt/comfort. The issue is I'm so stuck on how Laios would respond to the reader begging for their life and seeing how scared they are of him. At this point they're kinda friends, maybe Laios has a crush, either way they're on good terms. I doubt that Laios would get mad, but I feel like he'd be hurt that the reader fears he would want to eat them? Part of me is like "he'd be interested in them and want to trust them" and the other part of me is "he would feel betrayed and would want reader to leave."

I hope I'm making sense. This has been rotating in my brain for days and I have no friends who watch this anime.

oooooh i love hurt/comfort especially this brand

so in my head, i can see laios feeling Odd that a monster was traveling with them without revealing themselves. but i don't think he'd exhibit outright anger or betrayal, more so disappointment. since reader can talk, he obviously acknowledges them as sentient like orcs despite the danger they present, so he knows to tread carefully.

he's also not a stone wall, so his affection towards reader is going to make him not want to push them away. he's probably not initially very upbeat about it and just says that they should tell everyone as soon as possible so the party's informed. he's conflicted about the lie, but doesn't want reader to leave.

his next action is probably addressing reader's fears because he is a nice guy at the end of the day. so he's going to explain, in his brash laios way: the party 1. only eats to survive and 2. only eats inhuman monsters without evident cognition past survival

love the synopsis! can't wait to see how it comes along :3 and hopefully *i* make sense bc i feel like i sound nuts

[dadsbongos]

gahh hi love your work. understandable if u dont wanna write this. i got the idea of laios and reader screwing around in secret then one day chilchuck freaking out on them bc he could smell that reader got pregnant

pregnancy is a certain squick of mine so idk if i can do a full fic about it, BUT i do have thoughts:

idk if pregnancy has a specific smell but if you and laios are being messy in the dungeon he CAN hear it fo sho. or smell sweat and cum and has to physically restrain himself from screaming and/or beating you both dumb

he'd probably have a single confrontation with either of you and then claim to be totally out of your business. for laios, he'd be reminded he's the LEADER and how unprofessional the tryst is. and for you, it'd be a seminar on how much responsibility babies are and that it could ruin your adventuring career if you don't care for your body during and after

the idea is very funny, i cackled when i got this lmao