#so youll see it next time
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benkyoutobentou · 27 days ago
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Mid January Goal Check-In
I figured that, in order to keep on track with my goals, it would be a good idea to do regular check ins here. It'll also keep me connected with the studyblr and langblr communities here haha
In general, as Januaries tend to go, I'm keeping pretty on track with my goals. If anything, I would like to keep doing what I'm doing and just do more of it.
So far, I've read three volumes of manga. Will that keep me on track with reading 25 Japanese books in the span of three months? I don't know, I'm not doing the math right now. But I really should get on finishing a novel before we get too late into the month.
The thing is that I also have a pretty towering tbr in English. Right now, my plan is to read one (or two, depending on how I'm feeling) volumes of manga in between novels- regardless of language. I also just recently finished up a big crochet project of mine, so that also frees up my mind for some more reading.
As for watching shows, I just finished watching Skip Beat! today, but I started it sometime last month, so I wasn't really counting it towards this goal of mine. For the latter half of this month, I think I'll watch 舞妓さんちのまかないさん.
My kanji-slash-vocabulary goal is going pretty well for the time being. I don't do it every day, but each time I do, I try to do at least five lessons. I'm still in the beginning of their N2 section, so lots of the vocabulary is stuff that I've come across before, which allows me to work through it a lot faster. At this point, I'm over halfway through the section and would like to finish it before the month ends. I had a really good moment yesterday, though, when one of the new to me words came up naturally in conversation! Segue into next goal:
I've also been keeping up with going to my Japanese language meet ups, although I don't always speak as much Japanese as I'd like. Yesterday, I told myself that I would speak Japanese even if the person I was talking to responded in English, and then the only open seat was next to a beginner learner and I just couldn't bring myself to start speaking Japanese when I didn't think he would be able to understand me. However, eventually I started talking to another language learner and we ended up talking for nearly two hours- one in English, and another in Japanese! And that was where I got to use my vocabulary word 祝日。
And my last goal, keeping up with my Mandarin study, is also going steadily along. Right now, I'm studying Mandarin pretty consistently once a week. This is really where I'd like to up my frequency. It would be fine for me right now to continue doing my textbook study once a week, but I'd really like to study my vocabulary flashcards more often. I am constantly saying this, but maybe if I tell all of you, I'll actually do it.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
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and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
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rendevok · 2 years ago
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“Take my hand” pages 5-11
1 - day 2 - truth - 3
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strangersteddierthings · 1 year ago
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No Regrets - Part Three
This one got longer than I expected, so it's only about Spring Break. We return to the apocalypse next part.
Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six
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"-eve?"
Waking up again is disorienting. His head aches like the beginning of a migraine. There was something he was thinking about but it's fading quickly. A conversation in a boathouse...? That's not right. The boathouse was empty. The police had beat them there.
"Steve?"
No. No conversation in a boathouse. But there was a phone call. He knows he remembers that. Joyce had called last night. Her and Murray sharing a phone between them as Steve- Oh! Right. Steve told them he knew about Hopper in Russia.
"You have to go, though. Hopper is alive and waiting. And there's a demogorgon. Demodogs, too. You have to kill them all. Any connection to the Upside Down left alive helps Vecna. It's like having a tether to here makes him stronger."
"I can't just abandon El," Joyce sounds conflicted, and Steve gets it. He does.
"You aren't. You're going to be giving her back her dad. She's got Jonathan and Will and Mike. Argyle, too, if he wants to be there. Just. Just get them on the road and back here as soon as you can. If they don't leave soon than Brenner will-"
"Brenner? What do you mean Brenner? He's dead. Right? He's supposed to be dead."
"Yeah, well, he's not. He- I don't know the full details, just. I was just given an overview because, y'know, other shit was going down. But he makes El relive a lot of traumatic shit from her past and yeah, it gets her back her powers, but she's just a kid. She's just a kid."
"Her abilities, they aren't gone?" It's Murray who asks.
"No. She's just traumatized, in a different way. It was... it was Jonathan who said this, actually, to me. I mean, he hasn't said it yet, and if everything goes the way I want, he won't need to say it ever, but that's- sorry, that's not important. He said he thinks El blocked her abilities because she lost Hopper. An internal block, you know? 'Cause she couldn't save him with them, so what was the point of having them?"
"And you think bringing Hopper back will free her of that block?" Murray asks.
Steve can't help it. He laughs. "Hell no. I think years of therapy might, but having her dad will help. There's no way it hurts, right? Also, uh, you're the parent here, Joyce, so I'll let you decide what to tell her, but the big, awful thing that Brenner made her relive? It was a massacre. At the lab, when she was there. Another guy, another number, killed a bunch of the people there. It was El who saved the remainder. She stopped him from killing anyone else by opening the first gate to the Upside Down. She tossed him in and closed it. She's not a monster. Oh, that part you have to tell her. She's not a monster."
"Steve!"
There's more to the phone call, Steve knows he knows that but there's yelling and it's distracting.
"Steve!!"
"What?" Steve snaps, both with his shout and back into himself. He's sitting at the picnic in Forest Hills. Everyone is looking at him with varying degrees of concern.
"You okay?" Robin asks, "we've been trying to get your attention for a while now."
"What? Yeah, sorry," Steve says, distracted, standing up and looking around. Eddie's trailer is right there, and Wayne's truck is parked in front. He knows Wayne. Knew Wayne? He's in charge of the gardens at home base. A real green thumb, not that you can tell by looking at the trailer now. "You think that with Fred's death, they'll stop suspecting Eddie?"
"What? We don't know that they suspect Eddie," Dustin is quick to say, "I know he didn't do it, and so do you so-"
"Yeah, I know! I do know that, but Chrissy died in his home and then he ran. Of course, he's a suspect. But he was in jail last night. So. They can't suspect him still, right?"
Nancy purses her lips, giving Steve a look he knows isn't good. "Well, it will depend on when they apprehended Eddie, which we don't even know they did. How do you know he was in jail last night?"
"Good point. I don't, not for sure. But Wayne might," Steve says as he starts walking away. He can hear everyone at the picnic table shouting for him and scrambling to follow. Steve picks up speed, dashing up the steps and pounding on the door before anyone catches up.
"Steve, what are you doing," Max hisses, because she's the fastest and therefore the closest.
"I just gotta-"
"Can I help you?" Wayne Munson greets, voice even. Steve watches as his eyes sweep the group, pausing on Nancy before coming back to Steve.
"Hopefully. Uh, I'm a friend of- well, no that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you. I'm not Eddie's friend, but I want to be, and Dustin here is, so we just wanted to know if you could tell us if Eddie's okay?" Steve says. "You already talked to Nancy yesterday, but she didn't know that we, like, knew him. Have you heard from Eddie?"
Wayne eyes him with suspicion, which is fair, "I ain't heard from him."
"Please," Steve says, because he's got to try one more time. Either Wayne doesn't know for real, or he's lying because he doesn't trust Steve. He's not sure he'll be able to tell which is which, but he has to ask again, "I swear that we just want to help Eddie. Whatever happened to Chrissy wasn't his fault, I know that. I just need. I need to know he's not- not out there, alone and scared. Please."
Wayne stares him down and Steve refuses to look away. Wayne's eyes flick away from him to the single police cruiser still stationed nearby, then back. "Get in here."
He doesn't need told twice. Wayne retreats into the trailer and Steve follows. Immediately his eyes jump to where the gate will form. Currently it just looks like water damage on the ceiling, but Steve knows. No gate yet, but it'll be there tomorrow. Probably fully formed by the time Vecna tries to take Max.
Robin, the last one in, shuts the door behind her gently.
"I told her yesterday that Eddie didn't do this," Wayne nods his head towards Nancy but he never takes his eyes off Steve. "Didn't stop them from arresting him."
"Thank God," Steve breaths out, which is the wrong thing to say, given how quickly Wayne's face morphs to anger, so he quickly adds, "shit, I mean, that means, he was in police custody when they found another victim last night, right? That'll prove he's innocent."
Wayne doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes his time looking at each and every one of them, lingering on Nancy before settling on Max. "You live 'cross the way, don't ya?"
Max looks surprised to be recognized. "Yeah."
"Did you see anything?"
"I saw..." she trails off, brows furrowing as she thinks. She looks from Wayne to Steve. He doesn't know what she sees on his face, but he watches as she steels herself, a decidion made, before looking back to Wayne and saying, "What I saw is whatever I'll need to have seen to help Eddie."
"You'd lie to the police for Eddie?"
Max and Wayne have a silent conversation following the question, judging by their stare down and raising and following brow lines. When Max does speak, she says, "I've lied to police for worse people."
"Huh," is all Wayne says as he settles back against the counter behind him.
"Thank you," Steve says, even as his mind starts to calculate. They'll probably keep him the full 48 hours, since there isn't evidence enough to charge him. Right? There isn't really any evidence. Except, perhaps, what Eddie might have told them. Shit. Would Eddie say anything? "Can you let me know when they release him? Whatever happened, whatever he saw, probably freaked him out. I don't want him to feel alone. I mean, we don't."
Dustin is looking at him now like he's grown a second head but Wayne. Wayne is looking at him like he's made a realization. Drawn some unknown conclusion that he must approve of because he nods. "Sure, son."
"You got pen and paper? I'll write down my number."
The silence from his friends is deafening and does not bode well for Steve. He just knows they're going to bombard him as soon as they leave the trailer.
Which is exactly what happens. They wait until they're back by their cars before starting in, though.
"Steve, what the fuck was that?" Dustin says.
"How did you know he got arrested?" Max demands.
"Steve, you are acting so strange right now," Robin says, worry painted across her face.
"Explain," is all Nancy says, crossing her arms.
Should he? Does he even know what's happening? No. Not really. He's got memories of a future that's bleak and dark and terrible and he doesn't want it to come true. Are they even memories? Did those events even happen? He doesn't know for sure. All he does know if he wants to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening though. He doesn't want to have regrets about.... about something.
"We don't win," he says. "We don't win this one. Or, we didn't? We might now. Things are different this time."
"What?" Robin asks.
Steve ignores the question, giving instead more of the information he knows, "Hopper's alive. Joyce and Murray are on their way to Russia to save him."
"WHAT?" he's not sure who asked. Maybe all of them.
"And El is- I don't know. On her way, I hope. But she won't have her powers when she gets here. Or maybe she will? If she believes she's not a monster and really is the hero."
"Steve, you are not making any sense!"
"I know!" Steve shouts and drops into a squat. "I know! I'm not the- the figure it out guy, or the plans guy, or whatever. I'm just the guy who knows things he shouldn't, and I can't tell if it's because I actually lived it, or if I was just given knowledge about it somehow. I know the Upside Down has a red storm that never ends, more democreatures that just gorgons or dogs, and that Vecna slash Henry slash One is a goddamn monster who opens a giant hell gate and causes the apocalypse."
"Whoa, whoa," Dustin sooths, and when Steve looks up, Dustin's got both hands up and approaching like Steve's a wild animal. He kind of feels like one right now. "Slow down and explain."
There's a lot Steve could say. Should say. Steve is kind and soft, even in the face of the end of the world, but he's also learning that he's a little ruthless. Not heartless, but enough that he can see where they are, where they need to be, and how to get there in the easiest way possible. His eyes flick to Max. "Chrissy and Fred. They were both seeing the guidance counselor. You've seen them both there, right Max?"
"I- yeah. Yeah, I have."
"And Nancy, you've got a hunch, right? You need to go to the library to check it out?"
She narrows her eyes at him but nods.
"Okay. So, uh, let's use that as proof. You and Robin go check out your hunch, and I'll stick with Dustin and Max. Take Max to see Ms. Kelley and see if she'll tell Max anything that connects them?"
"You already know what we'll find, don't you?" Nancy asks, and Steve shrugs. "You're right. I won't believe you. Not without this proof. So, we'll go, Robin and me. And when we meet up, I expect you to tell me what we learned."
Max is completely silent the entire drive, an exact opposite of Dustin who shoots off so many questions in a row that Steve can barely remember the first by the time he's onto the next. Not that it would matter, because Dustin doesn't pause between any of his questions or comments to let Steve answer anyway.
Max launches herself from car almost as soon as Steve pulls up to the curb with a loudly groaned, "finally" before she slams the door and bounds across the street.
"Steve! Are you even listening to me!?" Dustin has finally lost steam or ran out of breath or something.
"Are you done yelling at me?" Steve retorts.
Dustin lets out a really big sigh then says, "For now. I just- Let's start with this. How do you know that Hopper's alive?"
"Joyce and Murray confirmed it when I talked to them on the phone. They're supposed to be getting El and crew heading back this way while they go to rescue him, but I don't really know how that's going."
Dustin squints at him. "I thought you could see the future now."
"No. I saw the future, so like, lived it or something. And it's like... You watch Back to the Future yet?"
"Yes."
"Okay, so like, the part where his family starts to vanish from the picture? Because he made his mom want to bang him-?"
"That is a disgusting oversimplification of the plotline, Steve."
"-it's like that. Except I want to change the events because we definitely end up in the bad timeline."
"Okay. Say I believe you. You said we don't win this time. Explain that."
Steve sighs. "Can that wait for like, everyone? Explain it all at once?"
"What made it so bad you have to alter the course of all of human existence?" Dustin demands.
"The Upside Down breaks through, man," Steve says, "Like, toxic air and no more sunlight or blue skies kinda bad. Full on, end of the world apocalypse type shit."
"Shit. We, like, lose lose," Dustin says in a small voice Steve doesn't think he's ever heard Dustin use before he huffs and falls out of view with a click and the sound of squeaking leather. Steve watches as Dustin reclines his seat back so he can stare up at the ceiling of the BMW.
"Yeah," Steve says before they fall into silence until Max sprints back, screaming for him to drive before she's even got the door closed behind her and certainly isn't wearing her seatbelt yet.
They all converge at the school, and Steve tells them what Nancy and Robin learned at the library, then Max puts together the thread that connected Chrissy and Fred, and he has to watch, again, as she accepts she's going to die. She even looks to him, as if he'll confirm that with a shake of his head or a nod.
He just blinks back at her until she looks away.
They want answers he isn't ready to give. Not until tomorrow, after Vecna tries to take Max. Given how today has gone, tomorrow shouldn't be much of a change. Nancy and Robin will still go the Pennhurst, and Steve will take Max everywhere she wants to go, but this time he'll be ready. It's not too late, so the little music store down from Melvald's will still be open. Hopefully they have Kate Bush handy. He'll make sure Lucas has a backup cassette player and-
"Wait. Lucas should be told. He should be here. Why isn't he..." Steve trails off, trying to remember why Lucas would be here. He went to party with the basketball team and- and what? There's something he's missing. Something changed. His head hurts and the white noise is back, and it hits him so suddenly he sways and stumbles backwards until he hits a wall.
"Steve!" Robin gasps his name and rushes to hold him up. Dustin is at his other side just as quick.
"I'm ok," Steve says with eyes closed. He can't explain it, but he's changed something. He knows he has. Lucas is with them tomorrow, he remembers that, and there's this feeling that he should be here now. That he should have shown up at the school, but the reason eludes him. Slips from his grasp like he's trying to hold water. "It's- there was something that was supposed to happen. Something that made Lucas find us here at the school. I remember that. I- I almost hit him with a lamp. But he's not here. He didn't- something's changed. Whatever happened before didn't happen again."
"What, like, you changed the past?" Dustin asks.
The laugh Steve lets out is manic, even to his own ears. "I don't know! I can't remember! It's there, the why, but I can't reach it. It's faded, man, like the picture. It's faded."
"Okay, I think it's time we get some rest," Nancy says. "Dustin, you'll radio Lucas tonight and fill him in. Tell him Steve or I will pick him up tomorrow morning to join us. Let's go everyone, before someone does show up."
Nancy takes Dustin and Max, and Robin sticks with Steve. She doesn't even question his detour to the music store, just helps him find the Kate Bush tape. Doesn't even raise an eyebrow when he buys two cassette players, five blank tapes, and a tape recorder.
"Who is the mix tape for?" Robin asks him only once they're at Steve's house and settled in for the night in front of the fancy stereo in Steve's living room. Robin's called her parents already and told them she was staying with a friend, and they had leftovers for dinner from.
"Just in case. Now, shh," Steve says, and once Robin has properly quieted, he pressed record on the tape recorder and play on the stereo. He's already found the track he wants, so it's just a matter of waiting the song out, pausing the tape recorder quickly, then rewinding the tape. He goes too far back, so his finger just hovers over the record button until Running Up That Hill comes back on, and he repeats the process. Over and over again, until the hour long tape is filled with nothing but one song.
Robin watches him do it in complete silence. She doesn't move or shuffle until after he's paused the recording, stilling again once he hits record. He knows she doesn't understand why, but also that she doesn't need to understand. He knows that she knows he'll explain as soon as he's able.
He's just afraid to say too much right now. He can remember tomorrow; the Pennhurst plan, how it is supposed to go based on what remembers Nancy and Robin saying. Max will bully him into driving her around, and they'll end up at Billy's grave. He'll be ready this time, he already knows the answers they're seeking but he doesn't want to risk too much.
He has a plan. And it'll work. It has too.
Because he can't remember what happens after. Patrick dies, and there's... water? A lake? But why is Patrick at a lake in the dark? He isn't, is the thing. It's like there are two memories overlapping in Steve's mind and he doesn't know which is real. Or if either of them are.
There's a memory of... of Eddie? Eddie talking about Patrick floating but there's also a memory of hearing it on the news, Patrick found dead in his room, murdered the same way as Chrissy and Fred with no sign of forced entry in his house. Both memories feel real, but Steve doesn't know, can't tell, which is.
Robin and he falls sleep wrapped around each other that night.
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @apomaro-mellow @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorrow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77 @wonderland-girl143-blog @krazyperson @sevenmerrymagpies
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ra-vio · 1 month ago
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#art summary#i have to clear out my phone. im hoping that if i remove all the nier rein screenshots ill have space#im almost certain its all the rein screenshots cause. they’re bigger than most pics and i had a lot#otherwise im not cooked but god i hope its that easy#i dont make resolutions but i hope i draw more next year#the problem with art summaries is youll have months where you draw a lot#months where yiu draw 10 good things and then every other month is empty#but you drew. so you cant look at art summaries with emoty months and get sad#but like i didn’t draw as much this year lmao too much going on in my head#i was gonna say i rarely drew but i draw so much more than the average person#what i really mean is i didn’t finish anything#i was in my dA gallery the other day and I really used to draw a fully colored piece everyday on high school#absolutely mad. and we (me and my friends) all used to do it#i just had a thought: a majority of my friends draw <- thoughts for later#i had to answer the door so I forgot what i was talking about#i think that. what i was getting at was that behavior really screws up what’s a healthy relationship with art?#like when you’re a kid you have time and when you’re inexperienced and don’t know you’re more forgiving on your mistakes#whereas now if i draw one thing a week thats a job well done to me. im so busy i can’t take it out on myself and i dont#and of course the sms algorithm but I don’t play with the algorithm#but yeah everyone i grew up drawing with friends or ppl i follow stopped drawing or just posting a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot#an artist i really like used to post a whole bunch of art dumps everyday. just doodles on different series and i loved seeing them#but they stopoed posting. working on being that kind of artist for me. we got xx art at home situation#if any of that makes sense
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trapdoornumberthree · 3 months ago
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can't stand his fake ass except miz means it
edit w more images yay
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faaun · 10 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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kipskiptrip · 8 months ago
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For the Love of God if I see one more person use the term ND as a synonym for higher-functioning ADHDtism I will take my jaws and rip out the flesh of all the people within an 100 mile radius from me starting with myself
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vampmilf · 10 months ago
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oh yeah that whole trouble with tumblr killing me for 2hrs made me forget to tell you guys how i walked in on a guy jacking it in the hotel today and my first instinct reaction was to laugh at him
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jackass-jones · 7 months ago
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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moodr1ng · 8 months ago
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today in "trying to get bottom surgery is its own circle of hell": on may 28th, i get my surgeon on the phone regarding the issue of my surgery getting approved and inform him that i have an official document of approval that covers all transition surgeries for the rest of my life and therefore i dont need to pass through a specific meeting to have bottom surgery approved. surgeon tells me to send him the document and hell be able to bring it up in a staff meeting "at the end of the week" and schedule my surgery asap. as soon as i get a copy of the document the next day i email it to him. so, of course, its been two weeks since that "end of the week" staff meeting and i havent heard shit!
emailed the surgeon again asking for an update.. maybe at some point ill finally get a date for this surgery ive been going through the process of preparing and getting approved since 2021 :) which was already scheduled then delayed twice in 2023 :))
can i move to the reality right wingers believe in where you just walk into a hospital and say "give me a sex change now!!" and they immediately start prepping an or lol
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lacomandante · 1 year ago
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okokokok i raise you teresa reading sense & sensibility honestly!!! elinor pushing through grief and loss and hardship with no ability to take up a sword and change her circumstances, and the drama of marianne being taken advantage of for having the courage to love freely…. i think she’d wanna gut mr willoughby tbh!!
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Teresa reading any of the JA novels tbh!! But YES S&S is a fantastic one! I think as an older sister too (at least, that's my headcanon- Vivar mentions her sister, Maria, and in the books it's Ramon, so I say Teresa is the eldest child/sister, and I say she has both siblings!) she can really relate to Elinor- she has to take care of her family first, to put her own emotions and heartbreak aside, especially in times of great change and tragedy. She has to be the strong one. Teresa would definitely see herself in Elinor, and though I don't talk about her a lot because there's nothing about Maria in canon and she's basically a blank slate, I think Maria being like Marianne is a great dichotomy between the two.
I always thought of Maria being the baby of the family, so she gets away with a little more than Teresa did- she's also the youngest daughter, and while Teresa probably has a little more pressure to marry well, Maria more than likely doesn't. Maria can be a romantic, to chase after who she wants, though I like to think she's a little more airheaded than Marianne, less bold, but just as excitable. That one scene in the 1995 P&P with Lizzie and Maria Lucas makes me think of their relationship- Teresa guiding and teasing the overly worried Maria. "Mariah, this is your trunk and these are your gowns. You may arrange them in any way you wish- Lady Catherine will never know!" Also that scene where Mariah tells Lizzie to hurry downstairs and does a little spin- that seems like a thing Maria would do! Excitable and fun and so young.
And YES she would want to gut Willoughby for being such a rake and a terrible person!! Especially for knocking up a 15 year old and leaving her to fend for herself!! For the heartache he put Marriane through as well. Teresa understands the economics very well and knows that love sometimes isn't enough to make a relationship work- money is just as important. But it doesn't stop her from breathing a sigh of relief when Marianne dodges a bullet when he leaves her. Sam and I like to think Sharpe gets P&P for her and they read it together, and when they go to Yorkshire and meet a George Wickham they look at each other like 😳😳😳 mr willoughby and wickham found dead more news at 11
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diathadevil · 2 years ago
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Listen I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled programs with shoujo fan arts and (hopefully) some art fight art this month.
But for now, the green Finnish rapper man from Vantaa has taken over my hamster wheel of a brain.
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storm-of-feathers · 2 years ago
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i wish more people understood the concept of activism burnout and compassion fatigue. you do like genuinely have to pick your battles, and that usually means something local that you can make a real difference with. if you get overwhelmed with every problem nothing is going to change.
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dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
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hello i just wanna say i genuinely like ur observation about nishiki's fighting style and then ya manage to bring it back to ur 'drug addict nishiki' headcanon like it caught me off guard but im also not surprised that is so fair and real of u okay thank u
In a world where drugs dont exist, nishikiyama’s strength comes solely from his anger and i guess he goes to the gym too
#Thanks for the ask !#Yakuza loveblog#its not a headcanon his voice actor said so before he so does drugs and he does it to escape his terrible life ratpark style#i would in fact be more surprised to learn that nishikis rawdogging life i mean hes definitely not religious and i guess he has alcohol but#thats not enough for what he has to endure. we have to give him meth we have to let him do coke#like i have no reason not to believe he goes to the gym because he is literally vain and i bet he works out till he gets a six pack all#one my life sucks two my life sucks on the bench and he drags kiryu there too even though he hates going to the gym because it stanks and#the aircon is always blowing at the worst spots and the overhead lights oohhhh cant stand the bowling alley either he throws the ball as#hard as he can and it doesnt even touch the runway before its smashing into the pins thats why the y5 bowling completion is so easy he#wants to get out of there asap. im off track see everything goes back to kiryu i always neglect nishikiyama. like even kazamas like heres#some drugs now leave me alone and hea like hmm do i snort this or sell it. oh well SNNRRRT. like there is absolutely no reason for his#entire fighting style to be heavy attacks unless hes wired like crazy and its because hes so pissed off all the time plus hes teeming with#like. cocaine. hulking the fuck out. thats why kiryu feels so safe around him because he has every reason to believe that in a pinch nishik#i can grab someones head and pop it like a grape in order to save his life hes seen it happen before it wasnt just because he feels#comfortable and in sync with nishikiyama he literally has seen him punch someone so hard their skull caved in and hes like okay !#thats why he loves fighting him so much its because if nishiki punches him in the head he’ll just have to wake up the next morning in pain#its so fun trust me on this you need to be punched by your brother right now or youll die
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bugbakery · 15 days ago
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hey Jess/spoonfulvanilla/seeingthrough/sugaredhiccup/faeriehiccup/idk: I talked to Jacob's ex all night and she was the first and Only person to be honest with me in 4 years. I will not be having any more public blogs again because of you, so you don't have to worry about obsessively checking the urls of mine you've retained. go post about it; you physically cannot refrain from doing so, I know. lol. you'll post about it 1000 times before you think about changing. do whatever. just leave me alone, I have nothing left for you. you've taken enough from me, thank you. there's so much to be said about this but i have too many real things to worry about to even. comprehend. how much of a mistake talking to you and being vulnerable was...and unlike everyone involved in this thing....i really don't care anymore!!!!!!!!! just LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!! I just needed to put this behind me so I can focus on things that matter. thank you! enjoy the food, sorry.
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