#so you're gonna have to be cool with weird families we are NOT normal

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

The Cook's wife: just a year ago he was barely walking. This year he's running riot

[bluecollarmcandtf]

M O O N L I G H T ™

Chapter II

On my last sweep of the house, I check each pledge before the party. Moonlight™ is now partnered with Greek life on campus, and it's the perfect tool for hazing. As president, the app recognizes me as their manager, so I alone get to boss the mind controlled idiots around!

"Pledge!" I snap.

"Yes, brother, sir!" he barks back, yelling it loud and clear without any reservations.

I forget what his name is; Jason, maybe? As long as he's being puppetted around by the Moonlight™ app, it doesn't matter. He'll answer to anything I call him with a rigid smile and a purple stare. He might technically be asleep, but honestly I prefer underclassmen this way. They're much less annoying.

"Scrub these toilets good!" I sneer enjoying the way he hangs on my every word, "You're the janitor for Delt-Ep-Phi's party tonight! I don't want to see any shit or puke unless you're mopping it up! Got it?"

"Yes, brother, sir!"

Just like that, my obedient janitor agrees to my orders and resumes mopping like his life depends on it. At the very least, Moonlight™ has made these pledges more effective. It would have been impossible to force menial work on a freshman without getting a half-assed result. Too many of the guys at this school are rich kids from prep schools: the kind that would be mortified to be near a mop, let alone clad in some sticky maintenance uniform. I bet Jacob, or whatever the fuck his name is, would be mortified to find out that this thing hasn't been washed in years. We just keep throwing it in the closet for the next pledge we have moonlight as janitor. The only thing that makes the dank BO of the garb bearable is the accompanying scent of cleaning chemicals.

I ignore the smell and give the guy a slap on the neck, leaving him to mop the bathroom in silence. My next stop is the kitchen, where I check on my younger cousin Tristan. Tonight, he's just the dishwasher.

"Sup, dude," I say, "Grab me a beer."

"Yes, brother, sir!" he yells back like an army cadet, obediently fetching a bottle from the fridge and opening it for me.

"How's dish-duty?"

"It's amazing! I love being the dishwasher, brother, sir!" my cousin beams.

It's weird to see him like this; with glowing eyes and forced grin. The Tristan I know is charming and unbothered, normally gliding through conversation with subtle looks and gestures. He's normally got this cool style that wins over girls and intimidates guys, so it doesn't help that he's all dressed up in the frat's old dish-boy uniform. I really hate that an upperclassman wrote on his forehead. That'll make classes next week a bit awkward. I suppose it's just a normal part of hazing, and I'm not going to make an exception just because he's my family.

"You gonna be a good dishwasher for the party tonight?" I probe, taking a sip of beer.

"Yes, brother, sir!" he declares, "I'll be ready at the sink for anything that needs cleaned, and I'll be ready to refill any of my brother's drinks."

"That's right, and remember only brothers can get a refill. Girls have to ask one of us to get it from you," I make sure to clarify. It makes it a lot easier to pick up girls when they have to approach us for their next drink. If only I could use Moonlight™ on them to put them to work as the frat's strippers or something. That'd really be getting the most out of the app!

Heavy bass blares from the other room: the party's getting started. I've already spent too much time with Tristan, so I say bye to my cousin and head on out to the main area.

Standing by the door is our coat rack: his name's Kyle, and he's much better as furniture.

"Your arms tired yet, Kyle?" I sneer.

"No, brother, sir!" he grins back.

I laugh a bit when I notice someone wrote a 'kick me' message, pointing at his crotch. A guy like Kyle could definitely use a good kick in the nuts. The freshman came to our call-out with an insanely high opinion of himself. He seemed to think he had every right to get in because he was a legacy. Apparently, his dad is rich alumni so we couldn't refuse him, but that didn't make him immune to our new hazing ritual via Moonlight™. He definitely got the worst job in the house. He might not be scrubbing toilets or cleaning dishes, but his arms are sure to be sore as fuck by morning; not to mention all the kicks in the groin he's guaranteed to get!

"Are you gonna hold those coats, pledge?" I snarl in his face, getting only a cold smile in return.

"Yes, brother, sir!"

"And why is that?" I spit menacingly.

"Because I'm a coat rack, brother, sir!"

"That's right, and coat racks don't react when they get a kick in the balls, right?"

"No, brother, sir!"

With a chuckle, I swing my foot into his crotch. Kyle jerks, but his lips remain stretched across his face in a toothy grin. His body can't help but flinch at the sudden pain, but it only takes a second for Moonlight™ to reassert control. Barely a few seconds have passed and he's back, stiffly holding his arms out, sweating from the effort of being completely still.

"Thank you, brother, sir!" he manages to say. I guess one of the upperclassmen told Kyle to thank anyone who gives him a kick. That'll be a fun little party trick!

I give the guy a little slap on the face before I leave. Tonight's party is gonna be off the hook! I've still got some time before it starts, maybe I can catch a minute to relax in my room. It's not that late yet, but I'm starting to feel the effects of a long day. I'd love to just lay down, even just for a second.

Unfortunately, I fall asleep...

The next day, I wake up when my phone dings with a notification from the frat group chat...

"What the fuck!" I jump out of bed, "What is this picture?"

Though I don't want it to be true, the picture appears to be me. I'm dressed up like some stupid waiter, with the same cringe smile and glowing eyes as any the other Moonlight™ employee, but that can't be right. We only use the app on pledges! There's no way in hell any of my brothers would sign me up like this!

I rack my brain for any memory of last night's party, trying to recall any clue that'll tell me this picture is a lie. The endeavor only hurts my head, but I do notice that I feel unusually sweaty for having just gotten an entire night's rest. My arm feels sore, and my pajamas feel awkward like I was drunk pulling them on.

"Dude, you were a great manservant last night!" one text reads.

"Totally think you should quit that finance degree and be a full-time butler!"

"I could get used to you fetching us drinks and giving us foot rubs!" another adds, "We should have done this years ago!"

I stare at the texts in horror and step into my bathroom. Sure enough, I see the word 'buttler' written across my forehead in sharpie. Someone must have thought it was hilarious to draw a stupid goatee on my face as well. My eye twitches as I stare at my reflection, rage boiling up inside of me.

"Why the fuck did you do that to me!" I text back, "I'm the fucking president!" Even through the phone, my words drip with malice.

"Don't dish out what you can't take!" one replies simply, "Just a prank, bro!"

I try to slow my breaths, but my fists are clenched painfully tight. I'm gonna beat whoever's idea this was! It's one thing for us to use Moonlight™ on freshmen, but I'm a senior and I refuse to spend my last year in this frat moonlighting as a butler! I'm supposed to be getting drunk and laid at these parties! Not marching around with a bowtie and silver tray, serving drinks and whatever the fuck else!

"I wouldn't get yourself too worked up, dude," a guy texts, "You might be in control now that your awake, but remember you're at our whim the second you fall asleep. I could have you scrubbing the floor with your toothbrush tonight if you don't behave yourself. Lol."

The message makes me see red, but he's right. An overwhelming sense of helplessness falls over me. I could beat those fuckers up now, but what would that make them do later? They already wrote on my face with permanent ink! What if they made me shave my head or get a tattoo! Fuck!

This can't be legal, but honestly, I have no idea what the contract stated when we signed up for the app! How do I even go about cancelling this Moonlight™ job? The tech is so convoluted and hard to use!

In the meantime, I'll be lucky if all they make me do is serve them their drinks and do their chores. I guess I can live with that for a short while.

With a grimace of resignation, I text back, "Good one, guys."

[sparkle-fiend]

Steve loves Valentine’s Day.

It’s a holiday celebrating love and romance; the whole point is to shower someone with affection (and hopefully get laid at the end of the night). What’s not to like about that?

With girls, Valentine’s was easy. Big box of chocolates, a dozen red roses, dinner at a fancy restaurant (and maybe a little jewelry or something - depending on how much he likes her). A sweet card, for sure.

Now that he’s dating Eddie, Valentine’s Day presents more of a… challenge. 

“Ugh, what am I gonna do Rob? We walked through the greeting card aisle at Melvald’s and he pretended to puke. He doesn’t want flowers or chocolate or anything.”

He knows he’s whining. He’s slumped dramatically in the single office chair in the Family Video breakroom, spinning slowly (like a pathetic little rotisserie chicken, according to Robin). He’s probably got about five more minutes before Robin snaps.

“Why do you have to do anything? You know Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday – it’s just an excuse to get people to spend money on crap they don’t need…”

“Oh my god, stop! You sound just like Eddie. Valentine's isn't about spending money, it's about... showing people that you love them. Making them feel happy and appreciated and special. It’s about celebrating love.”

Robin tilts her head and her face goes a little soft, the way it does when he says something she wasn't expecting (but in a good way, not like when he says something so dumb that her body collapses and she says he's obliterated her will to live). 

"That’s actually surprisingly sweet Steve. Okay….” she sighs and looks up at the ceiling as she thinks. “Maybe... you could try making something? He liked those cookies you baked for movie night." 

“Those cookies were terrible.” Practically inedible. Eddie was the only person that ate more than one. (Which was either a true declaration of love in and of itself, or proof that Eddie will eat literally anything when he's stoned.) 

"I don't know, Eddie is pretty easy to please. You could give him like... a cool rock, and he would probably love it." 

Steve sits upright so fast he nearly overturns the chair. "Robin, you're a genius!!" 

She blinks at him. "Clearly. But also, why exactly?" 

Eddie is like a crow. He's forever picking up little odds and ends - cool rocks, stickers, shiny bits of paper. At Christmas, he collected the bows off of everyone's presents. Sometimes, he incorporates the stuff he finds into little props and models for his D&D games, but other times he just keeps it. He's got a whole drawer devoted to his little 'hoard', as he calls it. 

Steve explains all this to Robin, who just shakes her head in bemusement. "He is so weird," she says fondly. 

"Yeah," Steve agrees. He would have recoiled from that oddity in high school - would have been worried what other people would think. Scared they would judge him for associating with someone like that. 

He doesn’t give a shit, these days. He sees the way Eddie lights up with happiness at the smallest things, so full of excitement and passion, and it just makes him smile. He feels grateful that he gets to bask in that reflected joy, like a flower soaking up the sun.

Valentines is two weeks away, which gives Steve plenty of time to collect a bounty of little treasures. He hits the pawn shop, the thrift store - he even drives out to the weird antique shop about an hour out of town, which looks like a normal house on the outside and is crammed to the rafters with knick-knacks and bric-a-brac when you walk inside. 

He also trawls the quarry, the lake, and the woods behind his house. It's tough, because usually Eddie's little treasures just look like trash to Steve. He's not a very creative person himself, but he tries hard to see the world the way his boyfriend would. 

If that means Steve finds himself debating for over half an hour on which rock is more appealing, well – it will all be worth it in the end.

———

Steve stays over at Eddie's, the night before Valentines. (At this point, he spends more time at the Munson's house than he does at his own.) 

He wakes up early, slipping out of bed with slow, careful movements. As usual, Eddie rolls over with a faint grumble, bundling himself into a burrito of blankets to compensate for the void of warmth left by Steve's absence. 

He moves down the hall, avoiding each creaky board like it's a booby trap in the Temple of Doom, until he reaches the kitchen - which is where Steve breaks routine. He sneaks out the back door and races across the driveway in his boxers, hopping and cursing as the frigid gravel stings his bare feet. 

His carefully cultivated stash of gifts is in the glove compartment of the BMW. He already has a plan for which one will be first, so he grabs it and closes the door (slowly, slowly - the sound of Steve moving around the house is familiar, but a car door slamming in the driveway at this time of morning would wake Eddie for sure). 

The first gift is a blue jay feather he found in the woods, perfect and clean with vivid blue and black stripes. He tucks it carefully under the edge of the ash tray that sits on the porch railing, before slipping back inside to start breakfast.

Thirty minutes later Eddie appears, drawn by the warm smell of coffee and the sound of bacon popping in the pan. 

He drapes himself over Steve's back and murmurs, "G'mornin," sleepily into the shell of his ear, the way he does every morning after Steve spends the night. This time, Steve balances his spatula on the edge of the pan and turns so that he can wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. 

He presses a cheerful kiss to the corner of Eddie's mouth and says, "Happy Valentine’s Day." 

Eddie groans dramatically and throws his head back, the rest of his bodyweight following. If Steve didn't have a firm grip around his waist, he would have toppled over backward; the move turns into an awkward backbend instead. 

"Stevie please, it's too early for that crap. Wait until I've had my coffee at least." 

Steve grins. He releases his hold just long enough for Eddie to yelp and scrabble for balance before catching him and pulling him close again. 

"Jesus Christ," Eddie gasps. 

"Careful," Steve says with a smug grin, laughing when Eddie shoves him in the chest and pulls away.

They eat breakfast together, and then Steve follows Eddie outside for his morning cigarette. 

"Holy shit, look at this!" Eddie turns to Steve with the blue jay feather pinched between his fingers, grinning with delight. He hasn't brushed his hair yet and he's got a smear of bacon grease on his cheek, but he's so beautiful in that moment - so full of joy it shines out of him, like a lighthouse.

Just because he found a feather. Steve smiles back, helplessly besotted. "Pretty cool." 

Eddie twirls the feather between his fingers before tucking it behind his ear. “That’s a sign that today is gonna be a good day.”

Steve presses his mouth to the edge of his coffee cup to hide his expression. “Yeah, I think so too.”

———

Eddie rolls into the Family Video parking lot around 2 in the afternoon to visit before his band practice. He strolls inside and leans against the counter, plonking a silver wrapped Hershey kiss down in front of Steve. 

“Kiss for a kiss?” he says, with a smarmy grin. Steve rolls his eyes, but he checks to make sure they’re alone in the store before swooping forward for a quick peck on the lips.

“I got you something too,” he says.

“Oh?” Eddie raises one eyebrow, managing to look both curious and skeptical. “Please tell me it’s not a cheesy greeting card.”

Steve flips him the bird before reaching into his pocket. He pulls the keychain out and lets it dangle from one finger in front of Eddie’s face.

His boyfriend’s immediate reaction is to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The keychain is a garish red plastic heart, definitely the antithesis of Eddie’s usual metalhead vibe.

But it’s also sparkly. 

Steve’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk as Eddie takes the keychain from him, reluctantly admiring the way light sparks off the flakes of holographic glitter embedded in the plastic. The cheap little thing shimmers like a ruby in the afternoon sun.

“Some kid dropped it. They never came back, so it’s yours if you want it.” (That’s technically true, although Steve has been holding on to it for nearly a month now, waiting for today.)

“Oh, well then.” Eddie stuffs the keychain into his pocket. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” He sticks his tongue out, eyes wide and exaggerated – then leans across the counter and licks Steve’s nose.

“Gross!” Steve sputters with laughter. He scrubs at his face and looks up just in time to see Eddie wave jauntily on his way out the door, a second Hershey kiss left sitting on the counter in his wake.

———

After Steve's shift is over, he runs home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before meeting Eddie at the diner. 

He did his best to talk his boyfriend into going on a proper date, but the most he could get Eddie to agree to was milkshakes and a movie (my choice Stevie, not some lame romance).

Steve walks into the diner and spots Eddie at the back booth. He saunters over and sets the third present onto the sticky Formica table with a click. It's a small golden gear, nearly paper-thin. 

"Check it out. Found this in the parking lot." 

(That's a lie. Steve carefully picked apart a broken old watch from the thrift shop in order to extract a handful of the little gears.)

"Hey, cool! I bet I could use this in the model I'm working on." Eddie pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and drops the gear inside for safe keeping. 

"What's the model for?" Steve asks.

Eddie launches into an animated explanation of the character he's creating for a new Hellfire campaign - a sun-worshiping priest that intends to trick the party into becoming a ritual sacrifice. 

"... and that gear thing would look pretty good on the top of his staff." 

Steve doesn't understand much of what Eddie's saying, but he loves the way his boyfriend talks with his whole body, moving his hands and shoulders and head along with the words. He rests his chin in his hand and lets Eddie ramble until the milkshakes arrive, smiling like a dope the whole time.

Eddie has no concept of time, so Steve is in charge of making sure they finish their milkshakes and leave the diner in time to make it to the movie. As Eddie slides into the passenger seat of the BMW, he says, “Hey – you think we have enough time to stop by the Circle K?”

Steve turns in his seat as he reverses out of the parking lot. "What do you need at the Circle K?" 

"Snacks! You can't go to a movie without provisions Stevie! And don't say we can buy some at the concessions stand, because the prices they charge are ridiculous."

“Well if we stop now, we’ll be late – but I’ve got some Milk Duds and trail mix…” Steve doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Eddie pops open the glove compartment in his search for snacks, revealing Steve’s little stash of gifts. 

Eddie frowns in confusion. “What the hell?” He rifles through the pile as Steve groans.

“Shit. You weren’t supposed to see those yet.”

“What is all this?” Eddie picks up a ring, turning it over in his hands. It's a bulky silver biker ring, like the ones Eddie wears every day - only this one is shaped like a bat with tiny ruby eyes. Steve is particularly proud of that one, discovered in a box of assorted rings at the pawn shop.

Steve gnaws at his lip and runs a hand through his hair, ruining all his careful styling. "I know you hate Valentines, but I wanted to do something. Just… to show you how much I love you. So instead of the cards and flowers and stuff, I tried to find little things you might actually like. For your, you know… your 'dragon hoard' or whatever you call it."

"So the keychain and the gear..."

"And the feather."

Eddie's eyebrow twitches. He stares at the contents of the glove compartment; at the water smoothed stone from the lake and the multicolored twist of ribbon, the vivid green marble and the tiny mother of pearl locket. He looks down at the ring still clutched in his hand, and blinks rapidly. 

Steve glances nervously between Eddie and the road, hands tight on the steering wheel. He's disappointed that the surprise has been ruined, but more concerned about Eddie's reaction. He'd expected the other boy to laugh or tease him, not this... whatever this is. 

Finally, Eddie clears his throat roughly and speaks. "Actually, can we just head back to my place? I've got something I wanna show you, and I don't think I can wait through the movie." 

“Uh… sure.”

Steve's brain is buzzing as he takes a left instead of a right at the intersection. He's worked himself into a bit of a panic by the time they pull into the Munson's driveway. "Eddie, I..." 

Eddie interrupts him, practically throwing himself across the center console as he drags Steve into a fierce kiss. By the time Eddie lets him go, Steve is panting. "Wha...?" 

"Wait here," Eddie says with a wild grin. He presses Steve back into the seat for emphasis. "Don't move." 

He takes the steps up the porch two at a time and fumbles with his key to get inside as Steve watches in a daze. He has no idea what's going on. 

After a few minutes, Eddie returns to the door. He's pulled on a t-shirt with a faux tuxedo printed on the front, and he's standing straight backed in the doorway with a towel over his arm, like some kind of maître d��. He waves grandly toward Steve, beckoning him toward the house. 

Steve snorts with laughter as he climbs out of the BMW. “What are you doing?” 

"This way sir," Eddie replies in a terrible attempt at a posh English accent. Steve shakes his head, thoroughly bewildered and increasingly amused. 

He walks past Eddie through the doorway and freezes in surprise.

The living room has been transformed. Eddie set up the gaming table in the middle of the room – set with a crisp white tablecloth, the Munson’s best dishes, and a vase full of red roses sitting in the center of the table, flanked by two candles. More candles twinkle softly from the coffee table, the end tables - even on top of the tv. 

"Eddie..." Steve whispers in awe. "What is this?" 

"Well, ah... I kind of jumped the gun a little. It’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner. If we'd gone to the movie, Wayne would have had time to get all the food set up. But it won’t take long, I already cooked everything. Just gotta heat it up."

Steve’s vision goes watery, smearing the candlelight into one big blur as tears fill his eyes. He blinks hard to clear them. “I thought you hated all this stuff.”

Eddie shrugs and rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Well, yeah I do. But you love it. So I wanted to surprise you.”

Steve grips his boyfriend by the front of his ridiculous t-shirt and pulls him into a bone-cracking hug, before pulling back just far enough to kiss the breath from him. 

In a pause between kisses, Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s and laughs a little breathlessly. “What made you change your mind about the movie?”

Eddie bites his lips, already swollen from kisses. Steve can’t tear his eyes away.

“I don’t know. When I saw all that stuff you collected for me…” he clears his throat, staring at Steve with wide dark eyes. “I’m… I know I’m weird. I’ve known that my whole life. I never thought I would find anyone that would tolerate me, let alone… celebrate me like that.”

He kisses Steve again, sweet and soft. “I couldn’t sit and wait for two hours after that. I had to get you home and show you how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” Steve smiles against Eddie’s mouth. “You know… I’m not really hungry yet.”

“Oh yeah?”

Steve trails his hands down Eddie’s chest, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and tugging. “Mm-hmm. I think we need to work up an appetite first.”

Eddie laughs in delight. “Sounds like a good idea. You know how much I like dessert before dinner.”

A happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

[team7-headquarter]

Team 7 introductions are like:

Naruto: I want to obtain POWER so I can force people to look at me like an actual human being and not a monster, haha! They won't ignore me or isolate me anymore! They're gonna BEG ME and put their lives on my hands and— Oh and ramen. All the ramen. And maybe prove to everyone that they are dumb ass fuck for not believing in me? Yeah, prove them wrong, that's cool! And and and Iruka-sensei is cool! I'm so happy when someone does the bare minimum and respects my life and acknowledges the fact that I'm just a kid and that I'm suffering (one of) the craziest discrimination acts applied by our government Hokage...

Sakura: you know how the first real goal I got like the first thing I wanted for myself after years of being bullied and being nobody and wanting to disappear was the affection of this boy? Well, all these other girls think I don't stand a chance and that they'll get the boy, so I'm gonna win the boy and laugh at their faces. Does it mean that I need validation and affection and attention and love? Not, what are you saying, I have a perfect normal life and parents that are totally involved in my life and I am happy! So happy! I wouldn't know what sadness or loneliness is like! Never! I'm normal and totally nothing to worry about!

Sasuke: you'll find that the things you like in life are meaningless when you carry the trauma of being the sole survivor of a genocide committed by the brother you loved and adored. I want him dead which shouldn't be surprising given that we live in a society ruled by violence, right? I hate a lot of things because I'm painfully aware of how miserable our reality is. Since this is my trauma, no one else has the right to do something about it. They certainly didn't seemto have the balls to go after him, even when they call him criminal, so I'm gonna kill Itachi myself. Obsessed you said? Try enjoying life when you know someone can commit genocide and no one would give a fuck and the government won't do a thing. Try caring for others knowing they can get kill any day and you'll have to look the other way. I dare you to.

Kakashi: *most emotionally neglected adult in the village, abandoned as a kid, saw his father do the right thing and get so socially pressured he ended up commiting suicide and the government didn't give a shit, forced to become a perfect weapon at young age to show off the village strength, forced to become an elite assassin as a kid, people in the village widely making fun of his trauma and acting like he's just weird / peculiar and not on the verge of losing his mind for real, a champ at dissociation and a minute more away taking roots in front of the graves of his mistakes because he spent way too much time there in self-punishment, basically the most miserable jounin in the whole village*

Kakashi: hm, I won't let you get to know me or get close to me because everything I touch dies and I don't want to get attachments because you're soldiers and you might die and it doesn't matter that I have history with two of your families and that you all remind every single minute of the boy I watched die and the girl that I killed and the boy used to be. You will never know any of that. I am a whole man with a whole life that you'll never know because I am just your superior here and you must obey me in our missions. I'm definitely not hiding the fact that the village just failed me and set me up to be the one who failed you all in case you get killed or lose your shit once and for all.

[frostdemigod]

Lads, new endfield trailer dropped and we see some stuff. I'll put my entire thoughts and stuff under the read more for spoilers sake but also because I ramble a lot

A Surtr clone(?) and an Aurora clone

And I know they're clones for one reason. Just like Angelina, they were infected. Endfield has no cure for oripathy, at least from what I remember. So they would make clones and do memory transplants like Angelina did, but her files show that she is clearly her own person, she looks the same and has the memories and stories of the old Angelina, but she knows she isn't her.

Warfarin is alive, as mentioned from Angie's files, and she probably isn't a clone, mainly due to sarkaz having insane lifespans. Surtr would probably be the same if she wasn't infected. Oripathy isn't gonna spare her for 300 odd years, so her being a clone is probably a guarantee. Unless the oripathy meds had an advancement great enough to stall her infection for that long, until it became cheap enough to manufacture constantly. I know Eyja's oripathy got worse so Surtr isn't entirely safe, although her infection level is still pretty low in arknights.

But isn't this like. Super sad? Imagine seeing someone who looks exactly like one you shared memories with, spent time together with... They have those memories, and they look just like them. But they aren't the same person. They have their own personality and everything. They just have the memories injected in there.

They're not the people you used to know. They never will be.

I just find this like super depressing... the more I think about it the less I want to see the old ak cast in endfield, show me future generations like the new ch'en and stuff! That's cool! They lived a happy life and the family is still going! Continuing traditions, mentioning history, reminiscing about their ancestors. I love that idea! The world truly feels like it moves!!

But seeing someone you used to know as a ship of theseus situation... that like... really hurts man. Yeah they probably wanted to try the clone thing, but it isn't perfect. It's not like a robotic body you just plug in a program into and it's good to go. You're just injecting some of the past in there but they doesnt become the person the memories are from.

Like, am I weird for this incoherent rambling about the logistics of this? That I don't want to see characters I like basically cloned in this manner, because it gives me an inexplicable sadness about the situation. That our best solution to oripathy is a copy-paste method that we haven't even perfected yet as a "cure" or some medication to delay the inevitable.

The chances of Shana appearing in endfield are nonexistent. She doesn't even have a story appearance in arknights itself aside from her operator record. I know that if we do get more old cast, it would probably be the infected ones too, and this genuinely makes me happy in a twisted way. I don't want to see her like that. It'd hurt. So the chances being as slim as they are is soothing, but it isn't 0. That's what terrifies me.

Imagine I somehow was put in a couple century stasis and woke up and saw my brother the same as before. I imagine he went through the same as me, we talk, everything is normal. But then I learn that he isn't my brother, just has the memories and same body but his personality is different, his likes, dislikes, fears, it's all different... I'd be terrified man. I want to scream, run away, cry. It's like a skinwalker, some scenario straight out of a horror setting. Arknights is a terrifying setting as is. But this makes it much, much more eerie. So with every returning operator, the sadder the setting of endfield makes me.

[amiizuki]

it will be forever funny to me how the flashback portraits of Wittebrothers made Caleb seem like he's had packing peanuts for a brain

(this post ended up becoming quite lengthy, and so did the tags somehow, because I kinda devolved into a rant closer to the end of writing this whole thing, so bear with me here)

so we know that Philip and Caleb became orphans when both of them were still kids. after that, they ended up in Gravesfield and, to fit in with everyone else who lived there, picked up witch hunting and started thinking that witches are pure evil. Caleb knew perfectly well that he's the only family Philip's had left and that he even may be his his only friend, since, judging by the portraits, they've only ever hung out with each other and we don't know if those two ever made any other actual friends.

until one day, during a witch hunt he and Philip were both a part in (something Caleb seemed happy to do, judging by his smirk there), he met a witch – Evelyn – someone he's been taught to hate and want dead by the townsfolk. someone who, again, in his mind, should be evil.

but he just suddenly does a 180 and goes "damn, you can make fire with your hands, you're actually pretty cool"

and then a few days (?) of talking to her later, he's running off to live with her in the Demon Realm, while simultaneously not giving a single fuck about the brother he's abandoning.

(he even runs off with a smile, with a literal :D face, I fucking can't lmao)

Philip ends up seeing Caleb get dragged off through a weird portal and later follows along, thinking something like "no, my brother wouldn't just up and abandon me without saying anything. he probably got captured by that witch we saw together that one time! she probably used some demon magic to bewitch Caleb and took him through that portal to kill him or worse! I gotta go save him!". and, after spending god knows how long in that realm, searching endlessly for his missing older brother, he eventually finds him. but he also finds that Caleb is not only perfectly okay and not hurt in the slightest, he's also peacefully walking together with the same witch who "captured" him, even holding hands with her.

and when enraged Philip tries to attack Evelyn, to protect Caleb from the witch who took him from his home, from his brother, still thinking that Caleb's under her control, Caleb just... gives him a hug and goes on to introduce the witch as his new wife to him (I'm assuming that portrait is the same day as the other three, if not the same scene), also adding on top of that that they're having a child. all as if nothing happened. treating the whole thing like everything's perfectly okay and just another normal day, fully ignoring the fact that he threw his brother away with no care or thought, leaving him completely alone, a full orphan, now with zero actual family left (in TTT, during their backstory, it's said that "Caleb did his best to take care of his younger brother", meaning that either they never got adopted in Gravesfield, or whoever adopted them didn't give a shit about the two, so they still mostly had to fend for themselves), all to go smash some random 5 out of 10 witchussy he talked to, like, 3 times. no fucking wonder Philip killed him!

(btw, jokes aside, it didn't seem like he intended to kill Caleb, because in that portrait where he's ready to kill with a knife in his hand, he's facing forward, while Caleb is actually to his left. so it just looks to me like Philip was gonna try to kill Evelyn again, and Caleb either jumped in front of her to protect her and got accidentally stabbed or he attacked Philip back, to, again, protect Evelyn, and Philip ended up winning that fight. but that's just my theory)

my brother in literal christ and literal titan – why in the FUCK are you just hugging it out with a smile on your face??? you ran off while giving absolutely no warning to anyone, especially your younger brother! why do you think he's here and actively trying to attack you and your new wife? you're not even trying to address the fact that you left him! at least when Luz ran off to a different realm without warning, she had a "I'm still at the camp" cover, so Camila wouldn't worry that much about where her daughter is, and even then she still felt bad for leaving her mother and planned to go back home once summer was over. this chucklefuck, on the other hand, just permanently portaled away to the Boiling Isles, knocked up a witch and fully settled down there, walking around with a big ol' smile and no care in the world. "Philip who? never heard of him"

the only thing that would sorta make this situation seem better (as in, not make Caleb seem like an overly naive ignorant brick), in my opinion, is if they added one more portrait – after the one where he meets the witch, but before the one where he leaves. in that portrait, Caleb would look like he's trying his best to convince Philip that witches aren't actually evil, and perhaps even try to get him to go live with them in the Demon Realm, all the while Philip's looking at him with either disagreement/disappointment/disgust or just rolling his eyes and full on ignoring him, while sharpening his witch hunt tools or something. then it would look like Caleb at least tried to make his brother change his mind, like he tried to offer him a chance to go with them. but no. with the way the portraits look in the final version it just seems like Caleb was fully on-board with killing witches since he was young, even pulling his younger brother along to think the same way, Philip also thought that Caleb was perfectly fine with killing witches, but once he actually meets a real witch (assuming they've never met one before) he instantly pulls an uno reverse card and just runs off with her, without so much as telling his brother beforehand.

I'm not trying to say that "Belos should've been redeemed, because he's the victim here and Caleb is bad and it's all his fault". he still murdered his brother and went on to manipulate everyone on Boiling Isles for centuries, with his end goal being the death of all witches, while simultaneously being stuck in the loop of "denial" and "bargaining" stages of grief – repeatedly trying and failing to recreate a perfect copy of Caleb, but also killing each one that came out wrong or went against him. Belos not being redeemed in the end was the right choice (ignoring the "Belos was always le bad" from King's dad), I agree with that. frankly, if he actually got redeemed in the end, I'd probably be seething for the next 3 to 5 years, like how I did after the Diamonds' "redemptions" in SU (yes I'm still pissed about that lol). I'm just saying that, from what was shown to us, Caleb didn't seem like that good of a person either, not as bad as Belos ended up being, but still not that great. and, once again, seemingly had a raisin for a brain.

(off topic, but during Masha's retelling of Wittebane's backstory, their "sounds like big bro got a hot witch girlfriend and little bro got upset" line was so fucking cringe, it gave me a fever for 3 days the first time I watched the episode)

k, rant over, I dunno what else to add

TL;DR: I think Caleb was dumb as a brick, because, from what was shown to us in their backstory, he seemed to have run off to Demon Realm and abandon Philip without telling him anything beforehand. when Philip came to BI to look for his brother, who he assumed was under control of the witch who "took" him, since he thought his last living family member wouldn't just abandon him, and when he eventually found him, and it turned out he wasn't in any danger at all, Caleb just brushed the whole "I left you for witchussy" thing under the rug and pretended everything was and is perfectly fine, even though it clearly isn't. rip bozo

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 10 Group 50

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

The Bad Kids: Riz "The Ball" Gukgak, Adaine Abernant, Fabian Aramaris Seacaster, Gorgug Thistlespring, Figueroth "Fig" Faeth, Kristen Applebees (& Ragh Barkrock)

Drawtectives: Gyorik "York" Rogdul, Grendan "Grandma" Highforge, Rosé, Jancy True, Eugene Finch

Submissions are still open!

The Bad Kids:

before i start the pictures below are by isawiitch (https://www.tumblr.com/isawiitch), victor rosas (https://twitter.com/SirVictorThe2nd), and m0nomercy (https://www.tumblr.com/m0nomercy) respectively check them out they're very cool and also that middle guy did the official art for fantasy high its very cool

Mods note: said middle picture is a .webp. And I sadly can't add those. But the others are below

anyways all of these dumb teens are just god they complete each other they're the most important people in the world to each other like fabian and gorgug meeting with a punch to the stomach and going on to share a hug in an evil forest and "DO YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU" "the ball, wait" -riz and fabian and kristen's really bad inspiring speech (they're gonna get inspiring real soon) but they are inspiring because they're from the best and sweetest friend in the whole world and gorgug getting razzed a little for thinking random people are his dad and the sheer joy everyone felt for him when he met his real parents and RIZ THE BALL GUKGAK AND FABIAN SEACASTER THE DUO OF ALL TIME and adaine learning to be a normal teen and fig swearing she's not an open person when she pours her heart out to her friends every chance she gets and riz and adaine being the only two non-horny members of the team and bonding over that and being smart but terrible in social interactions together and "its called being gay, when you're here you're family" -kristen applebees, 2019 and fig starting a band with gorgug, one of the more socially awkward members of the party and "what would riz do" "you bite down hard on a piece of glass" and adaine's actual worst fear being what she would become after her friends passed and the KILL YOUR DAD chant and its gorgug keep going and all of them feeling each others' overcoming of fear in the forest of the nightmare king no matter how far apart they are and riz shooting off an incel's fingers for being weird about adaine (there was other stuff going on but you can't convince me that it wasn't at least partially because of that) and the gang not really letting gorgug and kristen forget that one time they died (they got better and were psychologically okay with it after a bit so this was lighthearted jabs and not straight-up reminding them of a big traumatic moment) and "my friends were warmer to me on the first day that we met than you were to me in my whole life" -adaine abernant, 2020

AND that doesn't even include all the crazy stuff with bad kids-adjacent found family members like gilear faeth getting his life back together thanks to these teens and jawbone o'shaughnessy being the dad of all time to the point where he actually adopts adaine at the end of sophomore year and aelwyn abernant holy shit (she's harder to justify here because her main important interactions are with her sister, unlike gilear who is technically fig's stepdad but is a core part of the found family in all directions) aelwyn abernant is trying so desperately hard to be better and ayda aguefort and adaine swapping homemade spells named after each other (adaine kills her dad with hers its a good time) and ragh barkrock getting over his internalized homophobia

SO IN CONCLUSION these guys have changed each other so much and every single combination of them, be it a duo or a trio or whatever has a distinct dynamic thats so so important to me. they're all family to each other, some of them more than even their real families. they are the guys of all time and my blorbos even and are a wicked good found family

Sometimes a family is the kids who all got detention together on the first day of school at adventuring academy.

And sometimes that family is:

A Half-elf-Half-Pirate rich boy who killed toxic masculinity by learning how to dance, and mercy-killed his father by stabbing him with a sword.

"The Greatest Wizard of this Age" (actually a Barbarian who took a level in artificer to boost his cellphone-reception to call and apologize to his satyr girlfriend) Half-Orc drummer who was adopted by Gnomes;

A bisexual Punk-rocker Tiefling who thought she was a wood-elf until her horns came-in & caused her and her adoptive father to discover that her biological father is actually an Archdevil;

The Elven Oracle (later just "The Oracle"/"Everybody's Oracle") who was adopted by the school's Werewolf Guidance Councilor after her evil parents disowned her (she later punched her evil bio-dad to death in a single round of combat, despite being a magic caster);

An aro-ace (un)licensed Private Investigator Goblin who carries a briefcase and ate the face of the dragon that ate his father;

And a lesbian ex-fundie human who met the corn-god her family worships, found out he sucks & left the church and her family, CREATED HER OWN GOD (of Buzzfeed listical symbols, known first as "YES!" then later "YES?"), only to then abandon that god to become the Saint of the long forgotten Goddex/Goddess of Mystery, Night and Magic.

(Optionally, add in the Half-Orc repressed-gay bully they befriended and helped come out)

And sometimes, that found family becomes a literal family, because over the course of the series:

Fig's mom starts dating Adaine's adoptive dad,

Fig's adoptive dad gets engaged to Fabian's mom,

Fig's biological dad starts dating Riz's mom,

Kirsten starts dating the niece of Adaine's adoptive dad/Fig's mom' boyfriend.

(Gorgug is the only one who still isn't related to the others, but he did find his biological parents. And although he still lives with his adoptive parents, he is now in the famous band "Fig and the Cig Figs" along-side his bio-parents, Fig, and Fig's bio-dad)

Currently, Fig, Adaine, Kirsten, Fig's mom, Adaine's adopted dad, Kirsten's GF, Adaine's biological older sister, Adaine's sister's ghost fiancé, Ragh, Ragh's mom, and Fig's Half-Phoenix librarian/pirate GF all live in one giant haunted old Victorian-style Manor.

Drawtectives:

They are so silly and cute <3 Three strangers bond over solving a murder mystery as interns to a tired detective/mom figure. In s2 they pick up an amnesiac guy and adopt him as a son (despite one of them being younger than him). Everyone pls watch Drawtectives it's so fun and there's lots of wacky drawing shenanigans involved

they are SILLY they are BESTIES they are in a POLYCULE they LOVE EACHOTHER 🥺🥺 (eugene is their son who is also their age and jancy is their mom. dw its not weird) (art included is all by karina @dilfosaur of drawfee)

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #11

Starting with Weird Science.

TWO people named Grey participated in this show?

Cosmo: Ooh, what a tasty-looking dinner! I love potatoes! Me: Cosmo, aren't you allergic to potato skins? Cosmo: /eats the lightbulb. Me: ... Carry on.

Really cool hallway angle! Also:

angry.

Those dance and voting posters have been up for quite a while, which seems unusual for a school. Did we really skip several weeks forward in time with Episode 3, then everything is crammed in tight after that? Where's that dang moon? I need it.

Seriously, Sneezy Hawkins dance has been up since Hazel arrived, and it's been many weeks since then.

Cosmo and Wanda altering the laws of science in order to make her science project work is hilarious. Of course they would.

How many music rooms does 1 school need?

Hazel's class is near the entrance of school, 2nd floor. If you look at the school's front, she's on the right-hand side.

JORGEN'S BACK!! Time to wreck Hazel for altering physics.

Basically Hazel, with no sense of self-preservation: Jorgen, I tried using magic to cheat a competition. Jorgen internally: I'm very mad and also disappointed.

Dev is the grumpiest little meditator. Doesn't even chant, smh. Why does his bag say "Mediocre," are we gonna talk about that?

Hazel's parents are so caring.

Mystery She Wished

Oh, noir? I was just thinking about noir earlier toda- WANING CRESCENT!

Hazel and her dad watching movies together is cute. She likes scary movies and he likes the paranormal- They're a perfect pair.

"I have to charge my ghost crystals" okay Dad.

Cracking up at Hazel interviewing Wanda for her mystery. Big "Where's Wanda?" vibes.

I was sitting here like "Why is she asking Wanda?" and then I was like "Oh yeah, she still lives here. She lives across the hall. She pays rent." I like that Hazel thinks she's on bad terms with the landlady.

I said in Post 10 that I was sad we hadn't seen more of Cosmo and Wanda's life in the apartment because I felt like we were missing opportunities to engage with the environment (and see them struggling to be human). This is exactly what I wanted.

Cosmo: Unless... I did it and framed Wanda?

Okay, now you're just being meta. I was gonna not tell readers that you're responsible for Wanda's disappearance in "Where's Wanda?" and that's why it's funny Hazel's interviewing you two, but... that's WAY funny they put that in there.

Those are some... weird stares. Why do they look different than the other characters? Is it the eyes? Also, this guy sounds like Daran Norris.

I like how Cosmo and Wanda still have their crowns while in pencil and notepad disguise.

Hazel talking about how she had to sleep to recover from the mystery "and also because I'm 10 and can't set my own bedtime."

Hazel is being so weird to this poor kid. That's her first introduction to him; that's hilarious. He's probably a twin since he doesn't recognize her on their second conversation.

OG series Elvis? MARK CHANG??

Hazel's parents: We're going to dinner with the new family. Hazel: They're cannibals and I'm gonna die.

/staring intensely: "We always follow social norms and blend in! :)" What the heck is wrong with this guy? These two are totally aliens. Is that why Mark's picture was on the conspiracy board?

I like how Hazel's stuck in mystery mode until she solves the mystery because she wished to be like SDFKJSDFISOKJD OH NO-

Okay. She wished to be like the detectives on TV, who didn't use magic to solve their mysteries, and I should really pause before typing, but in my mind I was like "There's literally no way they're going to put an Easter egg in this pantry."

... Oh. I 100% thought I spotted the aliens from "So Totally Spaced Out" who were defeated by eating them, but upon rewinding and pausing, that looks like a regular rabbit.

Now I'm disappointed.

Twins! I was right. Also, this is a really dark episode for a show that still, this many episodes in, refuses to give me the child abuse I'm craving.

This is how normal people eat with guests.

... The twist is that they're doomsday preppers? I thought that was obvious? They said they were preparing for the end of the world and they were stockpiling supplies for that. Maybe I'm too old for this episode- I didn't know that was unclear to Hazel sdfklj. The plot twist at the end is still going to be they're aliens, I'm sure of it.

(It was not; there was no twist, although the parents did dump all their food on the ground. I fear we will never know who was there.)

Prime Meridian Love

Hazel's into both manga and anime! Nice. We might've heard about the manga earlier, but I forgot.

Jasmine: Don't tell us the whole story! I want to be surprised when I read it. Me, liveblogging: Uh-oh.

Finally a school dance after all those posters since Episode 1! ... Not the same dance! I'm dying inside.

She's totally gonna wish her manga fish crush into reality. Question is... Are we about to get a "can't wish away true love" plot, or totally different drama?

omfg, he's dying because he's a fish. That's not the direction I thought this was going. I could've sworn his wall poster depicts him on a cliff? I'll have to review when we're back in her room.

Kennueth: I will not fall for your siren song >:(

Whoops. Also, confirmation that humans can't know about magic!

Oh no, he's going to be obsessed with his own book and try to see the ending? Is that it? ...... No? Hm. I guess he's fine with it.

I don't have anything to say about this screenshot, but it should be appreciated.

FAIRY WORLD! ... I don't love that we're skipping straight to it? And now we're montaging through it? This is her second onscreen time and her first was at the dreary DMV, assuming I'm watching in the correct order. We don't get to see her being wowed? I'm kinda disappointed.

Oh, we're back in her room. That makes me sad. Also... I guess it's more common for 10-year-olds to have crushes than I thought, considering Timmy had one too. I should really look this up.

-> Oh, it is. Maybe I need to re-tune my allo characters; I always assumed crushes come with puberty, but apparently not.

Oh boy, Dev's about to be annihilated by a tall fish guy. I enjoy his expressions and tiny hands. Also, I really like how we sometimes get to see his eyes over his glasses since we didn't get that with the Pixies.

He looks like he's wearing the necklace from the manga. Is he a fan of the series and is he going to attend Hazel's book club since her friends couldn't? Finally friend?? (I doubt it).

Oh wait, maybe he will.

Hazel: ?? Are you a Super Meridian-head? :) Dev at a school dance:

"Get off my back about it!!" okay, goof.

I like how Kennueth described Dev's robotic companions as "metallic birds."

sldkfjsdljf, hang on, pause pause pause. Is Kennueth spoiling plot points Hazel doesn't know about and we're going to loop back to how her friends didn't enjoy her spoiling the manga? That's great!

Wanda dog-ears books... Good to know. I'm glad she's still implied to be a terrible librarian. Cosmo won't even share his books.

Hazel: Our friendship is more important than any book club! Me, who saw Mikey Munroe weasel a speedboat out of Bunsen with very similar words: Are we being for real right now?

sdlkfj, Hazel hitting him with the "I think we work best just as friends. I'm only 10." Okay, that's hilarious.

Hazel did not get upset about spoilers and Dev did not come to book club :(

Hey, this is related to nothing as I get my snack, but what was Poof doing during his parents' 10k-year vacation? I assume he went with them. He was in boarding school during Season 10 and maybe he still is, but... hm. Where's my boy? I know he's still canon; his picture's in Episode 1.

I'm gettin' nervous. -> Me, unfortunately didn't get more than 3 episodes into "Fairly Odder" and doesn't know if he showed up there.

Okay, but... Cosmo and Wanda wouldn't leave behind their son who's faced multiple kidnapping attempts, including from Jorgen: the man who wanted to yoink Poof and not let him visit his parents for centuries... right?

They wouldn't take their son away from Timmy, the brother he grew up with, and then ALSO ditch their son. Right?

Please tell me we're not going to get Poof with issues. I know I was confused in Liveblog 10 about the lack of child trauma in this show, but I didn't mean him.

-> Has given Aged-Up Poof more issues than literally any other character in my fanfics.

[deanstudies101]

5x03, Free to Be You and Me

Critical theory: Anger ? Homoeroticism(?) / flirting. Weird Boy BestiesTM. Body autonomy. 

Discussion point/question(s): Thelma and Louise kiss + Bert and Ernie literally what the Fuck is this supposed to mean? Sam + Jess and Dean + Cas. 

Key quotes:

Dean, "So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?"

Dean, "There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch."

Dean, "Honestly, I'm good... Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy." 

Further reading: 

Dean being disappointed when Cas doesn't realise he's flirting with him (aka Thelma & Louise) (@bloodydeanwinchester)

Discussion: 

Enjoyed this. Had a nice time. 

How can you cause the apocalypse and then… decide to sit it out? Everyone is going to die for you because you can’t clean up your mess. Also. He had blood forced into his mouth and he spat it out. Clearly he’s capable. He needs to lock in. It could be argued that he’s a better hunter than Dean (by him), so why is he behaving like this? Also, genuinely so sad that Dean is finally happy… without Sam. Sam fucked up so bad that he overwrote Dean’s core drive/sense of self (look after Sammy). [That’s who he is. He’s never been happy when Sam’s not there.] He’s always been Sam’s big brother. And now he gets to be Dean.

[And who is Dean? What is Dean doing?] Taking Cas to brothels. He’s figuing it out. He’s doing his own thing. And one of the things he’s realising is that he likes hanging out with Cas. And Cas is so much more powerful than Dean, it’s like Dean is just his little trophy guy. Cas is doing everything and Dean is just there. [That’s not necessarily true. Dean is doing the social thing!]

Cas had the cool line and Dean was just like! Yeah! [That’s his guy and he likes him.] That speaks to how cool Dean thinks Cas is. Dean is so impressed by Cas when nobody else is. [And it doesn’t stop. Dean is so impressed by Cas all the time!] But Dean has always been like that, he loves connecting with people… especially people who show signs of the tism. Ronald. Dean was so impressed with Ronald and they connected. And that’s Cas. Dean doesn't judge him. Tism to tism communication. [He literally said I think your crusade is insane, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and if you believe it then you have to commit to it.] He’s still doing the big brother giving advice thing, showing Cas new things, it’s sweet. Weird, in this instance. But sweet. But Dean doesn’t know normal things. He doesn’t know how to interact with people. All he knows is hooking up with women, lying to policemen, and looking for his dad. And now he’s showing Cas. Master of tism to tism communication.

Sam should've been more suspicious hallucinating Jess. Iga, “Why are you, as a Sam, not finding this suspicious.” Come on. Have some genre awareness. 

Bert and Ernie. [What do think about that?] We don’t know what happened. [That’s what we in the business call a fanfiction gap.] Nothing else to say. They freaked out watching it. Why did he say both of those things together? 

Thelma and Louise. [Kai, you got this reference. Iga did you miss this one?] Yes, I didn’t get it. [I explained a bit. They kiss. Showed them the further reading, Dean’s face in the last gif.] See, that’s flirting. That’s just. That’s flirting. [It’s flirting.] The body language as well. It’s flirty. However, Dean is realising that Cas isn’t getting it—the references, the flirting. Maybe he’s getting to flirt with a man in a safe way. But also, Dean at this point doesn’t know Cas doesn’t get the references. He does just talk like that. He could be on Gilmore Girls*. [He’s weird! He doesn’t talk like a human (affectionate). And like, okay, Cas doesn’t get humans, he doesn’t get the references. But imagine you’ve never interacted with a human, and then you start hanging out with that. He’s autistic!] 

There’s no reason for Sam to be acting like this. He could be in hiding and still make friends… but he doesn’t. The girl handed him the witness protection cover on a silver platter. He has this victim complex and is just wallowing in it. Wherever they go Dean makes connections, and Sam… doesn’t? He doesn’t make friends the way Dean does. Also, if the blood would make him strong enough to stop the apocalypse, why stop now? [I mean, I get it. It made him start the apocalypse.] Also, it could make him more vulnerable to being manipulated by Lucifer. Again, Sam should've just gone to Bobby’s. Why is he out there on his own working in a bar. He should be at Bobby’s.

[Do you see weird boy besties? Do you understand weird boy besties now?][Went over. Thelma and Louise. Bert and Ernie. Personal space. The brothel. The tie!] The tie. He could’ve just told Cas to do up his top button. WHy didn’t he? The exaggerated laugh after the brothel, being touchy with Cas. Nothing was that funny. [It’s flirting.] 

Star student: Kai, I liked the line about Sam fucking up so much that he overrides Dean’s core sense of self. 

Notes: *We have a bit about the audition for Gilmore Girls being simply asked to say as many words as you can with as much variety as possible. You say a nonsense sentence and the reply is “you should audition for Gilmore Girls.” 

[hellboundhimbo]

Pleeeeeease talk more about Kuwameshi I live for your takes

well. don't mind if i do. you have no idea what you've just unleashed btw.

so like they're sooooo attached to each other right like SOO fucking dependent. both of them trying to die for each other every five seconds, yusuke constantly crashing out because kuwabara like. stubbed his toe a full continent away. episode 89 just generally. they're basically attached at the hip. and on one hand watching them beat each other up while also caring sooooo embarrassingly much is cute its also like low-key kinda codependent. like oh you don't know who you are without him? erm. and while I do think a big reason for that is just bc they're quite literally the only other person among their peers who would understand the trauma they've experienced what with dark tournament n all, there's also a degree of personal shit for both of them that impacts it.

cuz like. lbr at the start of the show yusuke was very very lonely. its part of the reason he just writes off kuwabara as a run of the mill punk chasing glory, at first. why he's so surprised at kuwabara's breakdown at his wake. yusuke has this idea in his head that he's no good for nobody, navigating a world where every man fends for themself. seeing that "hey ppl care if I live" is really impactful for yusuke, even if he never fully processes that lesson. and he still has that idea that "oh kuwabara's just some dumbass" going into The Promise, but ofc he has his shit flipped on him when he realizes "oh this guy's really cool actually." and from that point onward yusuke just gets sooooo attached so quickly. bc like other than keiko, kuwabara was yusuke's first real friend.

and rq that is NOT DISCREDITING THE IMPORTANCE OF YUSUKE AND KEIKO'S BOND NONONO but there's a clear distinction there between what yusuke and keiko have vs what yusuke and kuwabara have for a number of factors, the whole "not really able to have a normal friendship bc you've been paired off as a couple since diapers" thing only being part of it. kuwabara's a lot like yusuke in a lot of ways. hot headed delinquents with shitty grades judged by their mentors with less than conventional family lives (kuwabara was practically raised by shizuru despite her only being like 17-20smth in canon. there's implications there I think.)

its just that in a lot of ways they're genuine equals and lord knows yusuke needs someone to relate to at the point in his life he's at. moreover kuwabara was never afraid to challenge yusuke, something he clearly values and revels in, even if yusuke himself sees it less of an actual rivalry and more of a bit of fun. he's forced to recognize in The Promise how good of a guy kuwabara actually is and that made an impression on yusuke, nihilistic and untrusting as he is. and as we all know yusuke's protective of the people he cares about, but its like. its different with kuwabara. because unlike someone like keiko kuwabara runs headfirst into danger. he's a fighter!! a manly man if you will. and yusuke fucking Hates that because HELLO you're not allowed to get hurt ever you mean too much to me. but he's also beating up kuwabara on the reg bc duh they still fight. so its this weird kinda dissonance where yusuke's like "NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO BEAT UP KUWABARA BUT ME" and that's very funny and lowkey fruity ngl. stop trying to kill my girlfriend only I'm allowed to bully him.

obv the whole being overly protective angle takes on a whole new context as the show goes on but I think if I got into anything post chapter black this post would end up longer than my last longfic so. I'm just gonna say that kuwabara taking yusuke's protectiveness as him thinking kuwabara is weak (or a joke as he puts it which feeds into his larger sidekick/inferiority complex when compared to the rest of team urameshi) it's just. ugh stupid idiots with their stupid egos and pride.

SPEAKING OF KUWABARA that boy is so insanely whipped it's not even funny. like yes yes yusuke is totally gay for kuwabara I feel that in my bones and there's So Much there. stupid fuckin romance anime bubbles in the promise (manga.) literally keeping up with a SPEEDING CAR ON A BIKE just to save kuwa. again yusuke crashing out whenever kuwabara's even slightly in danger. kuwabara constantly being set up as yusuke's damsel in distress, for some fuckin reason. super gay. but Oh My God Kuwabara. he is so in love with him its not even FUnny and how do I even articulate that without pointing at episode 89 and going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hes just. sooooo hopelessly devoted man. for YEARSSSSS. "winning's never been the reason I fight him" ITS NOT ABOUT WINNING.... he just. he fixated on yusuke for so long obsessed over earning his respect followed him into hell and back over and over and over again literally tried to DIEEEE for him. "YOU'VE ALWAYS GOTTA BE THERE URAMESHI DONT YOU GET IT. IF YOURE NOT THEN WHO AM I" I'm gonna IHFRBIFVBIVHOFHSI. he just wants yusuke to SEE HIM to respect him as an equal but because yusuke wants to protect him he just processes it as "oh you think I'm weak" but THATS NOT IT!! HE JUST CARES ABT U DNSA and then kuwabara's like "yeah I'm actually gonna try to die for you again but DONT U DARE TRY AND PULL THAT SHIT W ME" I hate them basically.

again they're soooo sweet on each other but in that same breath like I do think their lil divorce in ep 98 was sorta necessary. not just bc of the events of canon but again kuwabara was just. he didn't know what to do with himself without yusuke there with him. the romance of "I need you" vs the logical thought "hey wait that's. that's not healthy." idkidk this was absolutely incoherent I just have a lot of thoughts on them. I care them deeply. kuwameshi forever and ever but also I need them to die.

anyway. them.

[fuctacles]

chapter 4 is up!! I'm getting to @penny00dreadful's art I PROMISE. Beta @dragoon-ze-great Easter egger @pumpkinspiceeddie extra brain cell @blasvemous

"Will and I lifted a car last month. Dad was pissed." 

El was someone they'd mostly kept tabs on through others. Whenever they had to save the world, they ended up in different places, and while they were good friends, they talked mostly at family gatherings. The last they heard from her, she hadn't fully regained her powers but could do some small things here and there.

Robin stares at Steve. Since she was the last to join The Party, she knows El the least and hasn't seen her in action after the Mind Flayer. But the Will part? Neither of them had any idea about it. The new information is impressive and more than what they've been hoping for,

Steve eases the phone from her hand, trying to curb his excitement.

"What else can you do?" he asks. "The spying thing? Opening gates?"

"I don't spy," El protests indignantly. "But yes. I've been checking on Max and Lucas on their road trip. But I haven't tried to open a gate. Why the heck would I do that?"

That's a good question and Steve isn't sure how to form his answer. Thankfully, Robin intercepts the phone from him.

"We might have found someone stuck like Will had been. Is there a way you could check the house around us? See if you can find him, feel anything? Uh," she falters, glancing at Steve. "You can do that, right?"

El hums.

"I think so. I can try, but I might need Will for that, and he's not home."

Steve's hope falters. While El has been staying with Hopper and Joyce, as none of them see the need to part, Will has been pursuing art in college. He briefly lived in New York, even, but the loud place hasn't been to his liking.

"Where is he now?" 

"He's at school. But he'll be back next weekend."

"Okay. Can you call us as soon as you find anything?"

"Sure. I'll do the rounds today and talk to Will. Have you told Dustin yet?"

Steve huffs with a roll of his eyes. 

"Of course. I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't."

She laughs softly. 

"Yeah. Are you guys still in the same apartment?"

"No," Steve admits, with a peppering of guilt in his voice. "I bought a house. With that trapped guy inside. Well, in the Upside Down version of the house, I guess. We're like, halfway between Hawkins and Indianapolis."

El hums at the information.

"Okay. Will there be a housewarming party?"

Steve blinks, stunned at the sudden change of topic. Next to him, Robin snorts out a surprised laugh.

"As soon as I figure out the renovations, yeah."

"Cool! Can't wait to see everyone again. I'll call you later."

"Yeah, later."

She hangs up and he stares at the receiver for a second before putting it down as well.

"She is so weird," he mutters, shaking his head with a smile.

"I don't know, seems pretty normal to me."

"Yeah, to you."

They go back to the living room to find a new message on the typewriter.

Not that Ive been eavesdropping or anything but did she say SHE LIFTED A FUCKIGN CAR?

"Uh, no." Steve crosses his arms. "She and her brother had lifted the car," he corrects Eddie. 

Sorry for not being specific enough. Can you tell me again how you know a girl with superpowers?

"It's a long story."

Time is all I have

Steve sighs, falling onto the couch. 

"Well, I think it started in the fall of '83, I mean, for us at least..." he starts but can sense the look Robin's giving him, so he turns to her. "What?" He frowns. 

His lip reading isn't the best unless it comes to his best friend, so he's pretty confident she just mouthed to him, "You're gonna freak him out."

"How?" he mouths back.

Guys? Eddie types, but they barely spare him a glance. 

"Demogorgons?" she reminds him incredulously. Steve rolls his eyes but thinks about it for a bit.

"If he hasn't seen one for this long, I think he's safe," he states, this time out loud. 

Robin cocks her head.

SAFE FROM WHAT

"I guess you're right." She shrugs eventually. "Go on, then."

Steve turns to the typewriter. 

"This place where we think you are, we call it the Upside Down. El was the one who opened the gate to it. There were more kids like her, but most of them didn't survive the laboratory— "

What the fuck

"I know," Steve chuckles. "Anyway. The stupid scientists let these monsters through the portal..."

He recounts the story to his best ability and knowledge, with Robin piping up here and there and taking over the Starcourt part. Eddie is silent for most of it, to the point that Steve asks halfway through the story if he is still there. 

Yeah im processing, he answers.

"...so since it's been quiet for so long, and you've been trapped since then, I think we can safely assume it's not something new. That you were a casualty from that time," Robin finishes up. "Fuck I hope it's nothing new."

so im in a mirror hell dimension full of monsters ???

"You said there were no monsters." Steve frowns.

But there could be! There is the potential of monsters!

"See, I told you he'd freak out." Robin crosses her arms and throws one leg over the other for good measure. It's probably what her more difficult students see on the daily.

Steve glowers at her. 

"Shut up, Robs. What does it look like around you?" He turns back to Eddie. "When you look out of the window?"

nothing?

Steve taps his foot impatiently.

"Describe the nothing to me."

My porch is there but beyond that its just shadows. outlines of the backyard and the trees around it. I can kind of feel the grass but can barely see it. When I step outside it doesnt feel like walking on solid ground, more like 

The keys pause as Eddie thinks. 

solidified air. I left the house once, walked til I couldnt see it anymore but it turned up in front of me. Like Ive made a huge circle. 

"Huh. That does not sound like Upside Down. No slimy veiny roots everywhere?"

No. gross

"What about the sky?"

a black void. No clouds no nothing

"Huh."

What if its something else and you cant help me?

"I think, as long as there won't be any necromancy involved, we will figure something out," Robin says.

"Yeah, we draw the line at raising the dead," Steve agrees with a nod. "So you better be alive out there."

For the first time, I hope I am

read on ao3

[mr-ribbit]

jokes are funny and all but I'm getting so fatigued with bits about "lmao I love my trans partner but no way am I gonna learn mtg/play league of legends/watch indie films/deal with their weird collection/insert whatever stereotypical queer nerdy interest"

like sometimes it's lighthearted and funny and it's fine when it's self-targeted of course, but a lot of it just comes off as:

1. straight up unfiltered jock v geek bullying

2. weird misogynistic and binarist jokes about stereotypically male/female interests being unappealing to the other gender (often in a way that feels like stealth misgendering/bioessentialism)

3. "i hate my wife and everything she's interested in" style heteronormative humor

and idk it's just getting kind of exhausting to see it everywhere, particularly when it comes from people who claim to be allies or from other queer groups across the aisle

"i love trans women but not enough to learn that dumb card game lol"

ok so what do you think goes thru your trans partner/love interest/friend's head when they hear stuff like this?

you don't love them enough to learn about their interests? their hobbies, their favorite games? you hate what your gf does in her free time because its so stupid? your gf and all her friends like the same exact thing, bc of their gender, and you're mocking it at her expense? what would these things feel like coming from a cis dude towards cis women about stereotypical "cis woman interests?"

if you don't love them enough to respect their hobbies, what will you love them enough to do?

will you love them enough to keep loving them even if their appearance changes? will you love them enough to stay together even if your marriage becomes illegal? will you love them enough to move away with them if your hometown becomes too dangerous for them to stay? will you love them enough to stand by them against your family, friends, and peers if they're rejected?

grow the fuck up and stop pretending that negging is funny and cool if you make it Queer Coded. it's worse, actually. trans people have so much shit to worry about 24/7 can we normalize making more jokes about how Awesome and Cool they are instead?

[justice4billiam]

Math Class

So there was this one moment in time in high school where I actually liked a guy (I know, weird concept, just go with it) who sat in front of me in my math class.

Something you should know about me, I fucking suck at math.

Another thing you should know about me, I was kind of a dick in high school.

Okay, I’m still kind of a dick, but a nice one.

However in high school, I was extra dick-ish (I’m sure it had to do with all raging teenage hormones and a shit childhood)

Anyway.

I fucking sucked at math.

And what happens when you suck at math?

Your teacher assigns you a tutor to help “guide you to the path of success” or whatever she said.

Cool.

No big deal, right?

Wrong.

She assigned me to the nearest person to me.

The fucking guy I had a crush on.

Who thought I was the fucking worst.

Now you’re probably thinking nooo, he couldn’t possibly think that way about you. I’m sure it was all in your head

Well, you’re wrong. The guy hated me.

BUT for good reason.

He just so happened to be the brother of the girl I beat up half a week earlier in gym class.

NOW.

I didn't beat her up just because…no. She was an absolute terror to this disabled girl in said gym class.

She would verbally bully her to the point of tears.

But that one particular day she physically shoved her to the ground while we were all running the mile.

Remember how I said I was a dick?

Well, I used my powers for good. (mostly)

I watched that shit happen.

Then came strolling up to her while she was shooting the shit with her friends and shoved that bish so hard.

Her stupid unblended orange face (this was the early 2010s guys, no one wore the right makeup shade or blended their foundation into their damn necks) bounced off the concrete floor.

Let me just tell you…it was satisfying as hell.

It started a full on fight of which resulted in her getting her ass handed to her.

So you see, her brother hated me

And I didn't blame him

A sister is a sister.

You stand by your siblings, I get it.

BUT.

I had a big fat crush on him and now he was to tutor me.

Let me tell you, he was NOT happy about it.

I distinctly remember the look on his face the second the teacher called his name out to work with me.

It was the kind of face you make when you smell roadkill wafting through your car vents because you have outside air circulating while you're going 65mph(that's 96.56kmph) on a back road.

The look fueled the need to make him like me.

Those who know me now, know I'm a cheeky, flirty little shit.

So not to toot my own horn but it's hard NOT to like me.

(Is that my god-complex talking? Probably)

I can get along with just about anyone.

Not so surprisingly after about 30 minutes of flirting my way into his heart, I had him FLUSTERED.

I'm talking man giggling.

Blushed cheeks.

Couldn't even make eye contact with me.

FLUSTERED.

Don't like who?

Not me.

I'm sure you're probably wondering where I'm going with this.

Well, after class ended he invited me over to his house after school.

A normal person probably wouldn't go to the house of the girl you beat up and meet her parents while on her brother's arm.

I did.

I went.

I wish I had taken a picture of her face when I walked into her house. (she had stayed home the rest of that week because I beat her ass)

Honestly, it was a core memory.

The best part was her parents didn't know it was me who did it.

It was such an eventful week for me.

Monday: bully the bully

Tuesday: ice my hand from bullying the bully

Wednesday: suck at math

Thursday: rizz the bully's brother and come home with him to have dinner with bully and her family.

Friday: DATE THE BULLYS BROTHER.

Yep. You heard me.

That dinner went so well that the guy asked me out.

And I said yes.

I then proceeded to date him the whole year and become best friends with her mom.

Oh yeah, and I still failed math.

I'm gonna make this a series 🤭

@voyeurmunson im sure you'd get a giggle out of this. 😅🤭

[mediumstrength]

SPY X FAMILY REREAD CHAPTER 2

We open with Franky’s new look

Franky is right Loid 100% could have done better

It’s the office bitches!

Some weird creep broke into City Hall, who could have done such a thing??

It’s her! It’s her! My girl Yor!!

Yor is so weird at this point in the story, she is just kind of …dead eyed and spacey? I sometimes get annoyed at how often we revisit the “Yor wants to learn to be normal” plot line, but it seems like she had given up on ever having a normal life here. She’s not even trying to interact with her coworkers, she’s barely paying attention to the conversation. She’s just sort of there.

Anyhow, the office bitches are being mean to Yor because that’s what they do, and we are introduced to the concept that Ostania is a scary police state, which will somehow have almost no effect on the daily lives of our characters, but that’s a rant for a different chapter.

CLASSIC TEEN MOVIE PLOT

The popular girls have invited her to a cool kid party just to be mean.

Yor’s empty apartment makes me so sad.

Yuri wants her to get married here?? I'm gonna chalk this one up to Yuri's character not being entirely nailed down yet, but also I imagine that Yuri likes the idea of Yor being happily married, but not her actually being married, which is scary and a threat to their perfect brother/sister bond.

Also who is Yuri going to introduce her to? Scary scar guy? He has no friends.

I sometimes see people being like how has Yor never had a relationship before. The answer is Yuri. It’s Yuri. Yuri is only 20, he was probably living with her until pretty recently. How on earth are you gonna date with Yuri in your house?

The phone rings again, this time it is for a very different reason.

"Shopkeeper" is so ominous-sounding, I love it

Fuck ‘em up, girl.

People kind of talk about Yor and Thorn Princess like they are two seperate personalties almost, but honestly? That stilted politeness? That's all Yor. I really doubt "May I have the honor of taking your life?" is a line that is, like, Garden protocol.

The main difference is how collected she is as Thorn Princess, which like, this is the thing that she's good at. Everything else in life she second-guesses, she thinks she can't handle, but killing? That's nothing. She can kill like 20 armed dudes without breaking a sweat.

The weird creep was Franky!

Should Loid be telling Franky so many details about his mission? I feel like he shouldn't be. They have an interesting relationship. They are not quite friends (I'm not sure Loid is capable of making friends?? currently??) but it's closer than simply being a spy and his go-to informant. I think Endo said something like "they have an understanding" about them, and I like that. They are two people who can't really afford to have friends, but are as close as they can get without complicating things.

Franky points out that Anya does not look the part of a privileged kid expected to attend an elite school, and so off we go to the tailor's.

Not if you're a good girl. Also, activist seamstress backstory when??

Yor comes in and honestly? This is borderline love at first sight on Loid's part. This girl is as stealthy as she is beautiful! She caught him staring at her! Even though he is professionally sneaky! Anya immediately shows up, leans that this lady talking to her Papa is an assassin and decides that she shall be the mama.

I love that both of Anya's parents were selected by her. Anya adopted her parents, not the other way around. You can choose your family provided that you are a quick-thinking and adorable little telepath

They come to an agreement. Loid was divorced a few minutes ago, but he is now a widower, a real tearjerker of a backstory. Yor is moved, and they agree to meet on Saturday for the party.

But wait!

CLASSIC SITCOM PLOT

His mission is also on Saturday!

He has again involved Franky, who is more of a lover than a fighter, but is psyched about the possibility of stealing some shit. I love you Franky.

This panel is so funny.

Poor Yor concludes that she has been stood up, but continues on to the party solo. The office bitches are predictably mean about it.

It's Dominic! Dominic is one of those people who tell you their dog is a rescue and really sweet once they just need to get used to you, and meanwhile said dog is shredding all your furniture and is lunging at your grandma, except it's his girlfriend not his dog.

Yor :(

But Loid finally shows up and, whoopsie daisy, he screws up and introduces himself as Yor’s husband.

The first time I read this I was assuming his little fuckup here was one purpose, but upon reread, no this bitch has a concussion. Anyhow, despite the fact that he showed up like an hour late bleeding from the fucking head, Loid still oozes charm, and Camilla straight-up loses it.

I had actually forgotten how just intensely fucking cruel she is at the party??? Like, the office bitches have really grown on me, and particularly Camilla post-cooking lessons, but here? Girl this is some middle school bully shit right here. You are an adult woman hosting a semi-formal dinner party?? Your coworkers are here?? You look completely unhinged right now.

UNDERSTANDING AND BEING UNDERSTOOD

Loid’s speech here is the moment. Yor, who is weird, and lives alone in a sad little apartment, and hides her terrible secret, has never had anyone who understood her and accepted her as is. Loid defends her and tells everyone that she is a wonderful person. Yor is 100% in love with Loid from this moment.

It’s important that we see this shot of Loid working his own dangerous, thankless job too. It would be easy to say he's just playing the role of Loid Forger here, but he really is speaking from the heart. Yor is like him. She has sacrificed herself for others, like him. Neither of them can begin to understand how alike they are at this point, but still? There's a little something between them. A little bit of understanding.

We have arrived at the Big Theme. Understanding = Love = Peace.

Little lost-in-translation thing here, Loid calls her “Yor” at the party, but she’s “Yor-san” as soon as they’re alone. Loid and Yor always keep a polite verbal distance between them.

Anyhow I have surprisingly little to say about the fight scene and subsequent proposal besides the fact that it is completely flawless. Concussive therapy is such a good joke, both of them are being so incredibly suspicious, but they have already both developed Love-Adjecent Stupidity Disorder and will never critically examine any of this ever.

Flawless

5/5

No notes, amazing chapter

I’m gonna keep doing these sporadically, probably won’t do every chapter, definitely will get bored before I catch up to where the manga is currently 🤷‍♀️

[musesofthesun]

⏰ for yui, about haru :3c

SEND A ⏰ TO SEE INTO ONE OF MY MUSES' MEMORIES. = always accepting!

yui hasn't seen haru often at school today, which is weird. haru usually sticks by her at every opportunity, and yui does likewise. once the end of the last class rolls around, yui waits by the entrance. the line of kids disperses, and it's a few moments before haru trails out. yui visibly brightens, hopping over with a skip in her step.

"ruru! i haven't really seen you all day, what gives?"

haru pauses as if considering something, then responds. "i can tell you over shaved ice?"

yui is curious, but doesn't argue with that. she happily grabs haru's hands, then leads her downtown. she talks about things on the way: how kuro and chaco are doing, what gossip she's heard around school, how many bees she's seen, and the like. haru usually doesn't say much as they walk, but she usually says at least something. yet... she hasn't so far.

it's not long before they've reached the storefront and have gotten some prized summer treats. yui sits on the bench, and haru climbs next to her. yui swings her feet back and forth as she digs into her dessert. her gaze flickers over to haru. haru's simply prodding at her shaved ice. yui puffs up her cheek.

"okay, what gives?" yui huffs, "you're being more of a boxturtle than normal."

haru takes a deep breath. yui frowns.

"yui, um... i won't be here after this summer." haru gingerly says.

"where are you going? are you going on vacation?" yui immediately prods, bright-eyed and curious. "is it to a ski resort?"

haru smiles weakly, shaking her head. "no, uh... for good. my family wants to move out of town."

yui blinks. "like... to a prefecture over?"

"try... another country. across the world."

oh. the air suddenly feels a bit cold. yui's chest tightens, but she still smiles. even if it wavers a bit. she forces cheer into her voice. "that sounds super cool! i bet you'll find all sorts of neat stuff."

"yui..." haru's face scrunches up weirdly. it's the patented expression of "be real with me right now or else".

yui can't do that, though. she can't just stare in gaping shock for fifteen minutes and then burst out in tears. that's stupid. it would ruin everything. so, yui exhales through her nose and lowers her tone.

"i mean it. i'm gonna miss you a bunch, but you should look forward to all the cool adventures you're gonna have."

haru still looks dubious.

"i'll write you every day!" yui prompts with a grin, "and you better write back! or i'll get sad. i... ruru?"

haru's lip is quivering. before yui knows it, haru's wrapping her arms around herself and hiccuping. yui moves closer and haru starts to sob.

"i... 'm going to miss your smile..." haru wobbily states, "i'm going to miss you. i'm going to miss you a lot..."

it makes yui want to break down crying too. instead, yui does her best to wrap her arms around haru, tucking her head between haru's head and shoulder. she lets haru cry softly and mutter for a few minutes before talking again.

"hey, i just said i'd write you every day. i promise i will," yui hums, "plus, it's not like summer's over. it's hardly just starting!" she pulls back, holding haru's hands in her own. yui's eyes curve to match her smile. she's getting a hint teary as she puts on her best show of encouragement. haru needs reassurance right now. "we'll just have to make it the best summer ever, mhm?"

haru slowly nods. her bright blue eyes are watery, but she has that scrutinizing look as if she's trying to pick apart yui's reaction. yui doesn't really pay attention to that. haru can think what she wants as long as the focus stays on her. yui... will unpack everything later.

"we can go to all the festivals this year. we can see all the fireworks, we can head to the sunflower festivals, we could even sneak into the grape one."

haru snorts. "we'd be noticed right away. plus, dad would be so mad if he found out we sipped even a little bit of wine."

yui moves her hands, pressing her palms against the benchwood as she stares with a joking intensity. "the challenge would be part of the fun!"

haru laughs. yui's heart swells. that's what she wants. she wants to make haru smile. her smile is everything. yui won't survive without it.

"minus the wine festival, all of that does sound fun... and we can play together every day, too." haru sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "it'll be the best summer ever."

"yeah!" yui grins, pulling her shaved ice back up again. "it'll be awesome. now, you gonna eat that or do i have to?"

"noooo, i'll eat it," haru giggles, picking up her own cup and flicking at yui's nose with her free hand. "you'd freeze your brain with how fast you eat."

"nuh uh." "yuh uh." "nuh uh." "yuh uh. you would."

"not a chance." yui sticks out her tongue. haru makes a face at her, and they both laugh. yui feels something twists in her chest. she wants to hear haru's laugh every day. she wants to see her every day. she doesn't want haru to go. ... don't be ungrateful. haru's here right now, yui's here right now. she can deal with everything when it comes. in this moment, she's going to enjoy the company of someone she would do anything for.

[greatwyrmgold]

Ugh, is this how Oda redeems Pudding? There are layers to my irritation, so bear with me.

Layer 1: We don't find out that Pudding has a lot of traumatic experiences with people calling her third eye creepy or gross until after Pudding tears up at Sanji calling her eye beautiful.

And it's not like a third eye is something obviously hideous and disfiguring that we can assume that kind of backstory about, especially in a world like One Piece's where forearms the size of your torso or an egg-shaped body or a zipper-mouth or whatever's going on with Gecko Moriah are treated as normal. I know Oda's female character designs tend to be more conservative, but still, this is ridiculous.

My point is, we needed a Pudding backstory flashback before chapter 862 if this was gonna work.

Layer 2: I'm sick of "Your mild flaw is beautiful!"

Not much to say here. It's a pretty common way to try and add some conflict to a romantic subplot without needing to resolve any conflict. One partner (almost always the girl/woman) has some physical abnormality that she's self-conscious about, even though it's almost always designed in such a way that it doesn't affect her appeal to the lowest common denominator. After enough drama has been wrung out of that plot point, the other partner (usually the guy) says that he doesn't think that barely-visible birthmark or cool demon powers or iconic scar or whatever makes her ugly.

This isn't always bad; Shrek handles it well. From the start of the film, we see that most people treat ogres badly, either fleeing in terror or chasing them with torches and pitchforks. We also learn how Fiona turning into an ogre at night has affected her specifically, how it was treated as a horrible problem to be solved and how she internalized that. And uncontrollably turning into a big green person isn't cool the way that voluntarily turning into a cool dragon would be. Shrek-ogres are designed to look weird more than cool; some people think they look cool, but they recognize that this is far from a universal opinion.

My point is that Shrek spent act 1 explaining why people might not want to turn into an ogre and act 2 explaining why Fiona specifically hates her curse, so when Shrek says "You're beautiful" in act 3 it has an actual emotional impact. Four panels of people insulting Pudding's eye (and three of her stabbing some of those people) just doesn't have the same impact. Sure, one of those people is her beloved mother, but one panel just isn't enough time to make Pudding's strong feelings about her eye feel real. (Especially since that panel comes after Sanji calls it beautiful.)

Layer 3: Why should being called "beautiful" by some guy matter?

If you're the kind of person who gets mad when someone implies there might be sexism in One Piece, this is your cue to leave.

The idea that women are vain and care deeply about their beauty is a pretty big Sexism Point, and it's hardly unique to Pudding. (See Nami for a prominent example, and in particular that bit in chapter...471 where Nami gets distracted by how pretty the wedding dress that someone dressed her in while she was unconscious. Relevant)

Women being focused on the approval of men is another big Sexism Point, though it's thankfully one One Piece hasn't indulged in much. Still, having a woman instantly change her mind on something significant because a man calls her pretty is a bad look.

Let's go over what happened here. Pudding was all gung-ho for Big Mom's plan where Sanji and his family get murdered and Big Mom gets all their fancy toys. Big Mom is really important to her, and she recognizes thinks that Sanji is just an unpleasant idiot. Then Sanji compliments her once and she's conflicted enough to fall to her knees instead of shooting Sanji, which she was looking forward to just a few pages prior. (And most of those pages are focused on the wedding guests, not the bride and groom.)

How am I supposed to interpret this, except "Pudding cares more about some guy calling her pretty than she cares about Big Mom, when loyalty to her has been her only established motivation until this second"?

Layer 4: Charlotte Pudding

If you're one of the people who responded to my last Charlotte Pudding post with comments about how I need to keep reading (I'm 862 chapters in, of course I'm gonna keep reading) or that I'd really like where Pudding ends up, hello! I really hope this isn't what you were talking about, because this seems like more of what I was complaining about there.

When we meet Pudding, she seems like a kinda flat Nice Girl character, lying to save some strangers from Big Mom's police. It's a bit interesting that someone like that came out of the authoritarian Charlotte family, but that's about it.

Then it's revealed that she's actually not nice, she's evil, that Nice Girl personality was just an act. We're back to square 1, we need to rebuild Charlotte Pudding from scratch. This time she's equally flat, but also exactly what we'd expect from the authoritarian Charlotte family: A woman willing to do anything if Mom commands it.

And here, Pudding has a change of heart. A few nice words from Sanji have driven her to some third characterization. Maybe it'll be fleshed out, but I kinda doubt it. First, look at Pudding's history so far; he's not someone Oda has devoted much time to characterizing. He didn't even bother to explain the trauma triggering this crucial plot point until after it happened!

Second, I know chapter 1000 is deep in the Wano Country arc, and at chapter 862 the Whole Cake Island arc is far from finished. Sanji and the Vinsmokes need to have a reckoning and Luffy needs to beat up Big Mom and all this family drama needs to be wrapped up with enough time for the Straw Hats to get most of the way through another arc in less than 140 chapters. There's not a lot of time for Pudding to get her belated development.

Layer 5: Tumblr's Pudding fans

I'm not talking about the asshole who asked if I was dropped on my head as a fetus. I'm talking about the nice ones, the ones who encouraged me to keep an open mind about Pudding. The ones who raised my expectations enough that I could be disappointed. It's not logical, but I can't deny that that disappointment is part of why I'm spending so long complaining about this kinda irrelevant side character who Oda didn't think was important enough to develop properly.

That's the core of the problem, I think. Given all the pieces I have now, I can imagine a version of Charlotte Pudding who is really interesting. One whose self-loathing and devotion to Big Mom were properly established and explored. One who feels worthless and isolated. Maybe even one whose allegiance can change with a compliment without that feeling like a exist cliche.

But that's not what Oda wrote, whether because he didn't have room to write that without slowing the story too much or because he spent his writing spoons elsewhere. We got a character with two or three flat personalities that she switches between, without ever cohering as a gestalt whole.

She seems less like a person and more like a plot device. And now the big fight's starting, so that seems unlikely to change.