#so you will have a LOT to read when i update it
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Chakras check-in
All about your chakras current energy and blockages
☆How to chose the perfect pile for you?
Okay, Take a deep breathe. Close your eyes, clear your mind and ask the question in your head. You can ask your spirit guides to guide for the information that is meant for you.
☆ Who this reading applies for?
- All people there's nothing specific.
- If you are not into spirituality don't read.
☆ Note:
- Thank you for 600 followers. I'm very grateful that our community is growing in number. Also I'm happy to connect to those beautiful souls💕.
- I'm feeling soft so I chose the pink theme 💗.
- I'm also very happy and grateful for your positive feedbacks. I feel proud when the reading resonates with a lot of people.
- I felt very called to do this reading even though there's another reading that is almost ready but I chose to do this because I felt like my intuition is drawn to it.
- Put on the seat belt because this is going to be a long reading.
Pile 1 - Bunny nose 🐇
Your current energy:
Hello pile 1, how are you? I hope your are doing good. Right off the bat I think that you may (in the past) had a rough childhood where there was not enough financial stability. I see that you went through poverty and now you are trying to recover from it. This piles energy is very strong, swift and young. Also I feel like I'm intimidated, you intimidate people pile 1 I feel the dread all of sudden. You may look scary? Or your appearance make people uncomfortable? People may have claimed that you are intimidating and your aura is so frightening. I see that you may be young or your energy is young I'm picking up on someone between 17 to 30? The age is not important but it could resonates. I don't know I feel intimidated and in awe of you I feel also suffocated, do you have respiratory issues pile 1? Tell me in the comments. Anyways, back to the reading; I feel also that my mind suddenly went blank. I feel like I wanted to say soooo much things and it all went blank. You may have trouble in concentrating, I feel also that some of you suffer from sudden panic attacks. Okay, I feel like some of you are very unhappy with how things are in your home. Your family is so annoying or they interfere with your life a little bit too much. I see that you feel unhappy with them and some of you are quite talented. You are a master manifestor pile 1. You can manifest your dreams, I see also that after the energy have gone (I mean the intimidation) I felt warm. Maybe this is your personality. You may frighten people at first and when they warm up to you they feel warm. I see that you are someone who is very skillful, I see that you are creative, enthusiastic, and determined. You may feel very stimulated in philosophical conversations, I see that you may like debates that aim to change people's points of view. I'm sensing major INTJ, ENTP vibe. Unapologetically scary, sassy and smart too. I'm sensing that some of you already live far away from their family. You may be a college student living in dorms and doing their own things. (The energy is so intense omg).
Confirmation placements for you:
Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces, gemini, Venus in taurus. Mars in sagittarius or mars dominant, neptune, uranus, mercury dominant. Sun or moon in the 2nd, 3rd, 9th, 12th house.
Your crown chakra
Well, I see that some of you are atheist and if not then you may have lost faith in God. Pile 1 you have a spiritual gift and you are connected to God more than you think. God always listen to you and God give you updates too but you are unaware of them. I feel like whenever your intuition tell you something you think that it is pure crab and you think it is just your inner dialog. But it is more than that! Pile 1 I see that God or universe is trying to heal you so it send you a very sweet and caring spirit guide. Your guide loves you and want you to know that no matter how much you deny its existence they'll always be there to guide you. They are telling you that they want to show you the magic or manifestation, they always listen to you talking and rambling about stuff and they want me to tell you that "be careful of what you say because it will come true". They also want you to listen to the updates given to you and never ignore them.
Your third eye chakra
I told you pile 1, you may be clairvoyance. Because your third eye is open and the energy is flowing through it. But the problem is your connection to the universe or God, you need to balance the crown chakra in order for you to get regular updates and guidance from the universe. I see also that because your third eye is open you can see through people. Some of you may see auras and if not them you can see through people's intentions.
Your throat chakra
Your throat chakra is blocked. I see that you may have a crush on someone but you are too discouraged by approaching them and telling them how you feel. I see also that you may have problems in vocalizing what you want during intimacy because you are afraid that your partner or crush or bf won't help or care about you. I see that some of you at first think that romance is cringe but when you warm up to someone...you show them how you truly feel. You need time to heal this chakra but it will be worth it. For some of you (not all) want to get married so bad because you feel so lonely and you want someone to be in your life. But you are hesitant to tell anyone because of that blockage. See how blocked chakras affect our life? You need to heal it.
Your heart chakra
Hmmm, I see that you are too attached to the idea of love and not love itself. You may have toxic attachment and you don't know how to deal with it. I see that you do not take serious practical steps to heal them but instead you cage your heart and build WALLS around it so you don't get hurt. I see also that you may have been disappointed a lot in love and relationships. Some of you got betrayed from your friends and due to this; your heart chakra got blocked too. I see that you may go for unconventional relationships just because you don't want to be vulnerable and because of this that relationship probably end up and it is just a shallow connection. Like you see that one person who want love sooo bad but they are too afraid to let someone in? That's what I'm seeing. You may even rationalize your feelings because they are too cringe.
Your Solar plexus chakra
I see that your self esteem is swaying between I'm that confident b*tch/motherf*cker and I will never be enough. But regardless, you have inner faith because you believe in yourself and your own potential. No matter how much you have been hurt and discarded you'll always get on your feet stronger. Love will heal you, I see that you may be someone who feels very happy and confident when their partner complement them. Also you have a duality to yourself, sometimes you are confident and happy other times you are just so gloomy and sad. Also you know when to give and when to take you have boundaries and you believe in them. I don't feel like this chakra is blocked more likely you need to work on your self esteem so you can have a strong foundation.
Your sacral chakra
You may be young as the energy check told me. But anyways, I feel like you are someone who is very creative and at the same time you may channel your sexual energy into art or work it out. I see also that your sexual needs aren't being met. In other words you may be single since birth or chronically single. I see that this chakra is not blocked but the thing is you may be someone who is ashamed of their sexual or you may consider things like sex as something sinful or bad. Sometimes, your sexual energy take the best out of you. I see that because you refuse to acknowledge your needs you end up rushing to the bathroom or your room to touch yourself and end of story. You may have a lot of sexual energy but you try soo hard to ignore it.
Your root chakra
I see that you may be someone (because in the energy check, you suffered from your family) so now you feel like you don't belong anywhere. I see that you believe that you need to diplomatic and smart when dealing with people and sometimes you doubt their intentions because your crown chakras energy is unacknowledged also you have a lot of anxiety and pessimism of who is going to treat you right and who won't. People here are quite unsure of where they want to belong and above this, there's this view that life is only black. You look at life realistically to the point of melancholy which is not so good for your mental health. Also you have trust issues, you tend to doubt that any opportunity driven to you is going to destroy or disappoint you even if it is for your OWN good. Thank you for reading this and take care💕.
Pile 2 - Angel energy 🪄🔮
Your current energy:
Hello pile 2. Let's start your reading. I see that there was a period of stagnation and insecurity that haunted you for the past few weeks. You might have felt insecure and all your old bad beliefs resurfaced again into your day to day life. But lately; I see that you are actively trying to look at yourself in a different light. Not just this but also you are trying to be more optimistic. I see that you might just registered to the gym and you are trying to take care of your health. Also I see that you are feeling a little nostalgic but at the same time you are looking at the thing that you are nostalgic for in a detached way. What I mean is this thing you are nostalgic for is no longer affecting you in a positive or negative way. I see also that you might have dated someone with earth placements and you might be a water sign or placements yourself. I see that you thought that this relationship was meant to be but you felt sad when it was over. I am talking about soul contracts, this person was only meant for a short period of time to teach you a lesson and leave. But don't worry, good things will arrive in God's timing. Oh... now I got it! Maybe your started working out so you can distract yourself from what happened! I won't say this person is not coming back, because they always do. Anyways, Some of you may be saving money for a trip somewhere green (maybe a green place) idk why green just flashed in front of my mind eye. I think it is a park out of the state? A forest? Mountain? I'm not sure but this place is very famous of it's green nature.
Confirmation this is your pile:
Leo, Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Taurus as placements in your chart. Venus in Aries, sun in Scorpio, Neptune, Sun, Mars, Jupiter dominant in your chart. Your sun or moon in the 1st, 9th, 5th, 4th, 8th, 2nd house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
First; I see that your crown chakra is blocked pile 2. I feel like you are disconnected from the creator or God or the universe (I'm not sure what you believe in) you might be believing in more than one creator and some of you have multiple deity that you believe in. I see that you get spontaneous downloads from the source but you chose to ignore it because you feel like the creator have turned their back on you. I see that you have a toxic subconscious beliefs about the creator and the energy in your crown chakra is stagnant. You might pour your focus on materialistic things and you forget that the creator is going to help you. The creator want you to know that you are not alone, and you should try to heal your subconscious thoughts about them.
Your third eye chakra
I see that you have a great imagination, you might have inherited your psychic abilities from your grandmother or grandfather. I see that one of them was a healer, and in this life time you are meant to be a healer too. I see also that as I said above you might be too materialistic or too realistic that you don't see this as a gift because you don't want to connect with it. I see that because you focus too much on this side your abilities diminish but one day; you'll get a wake up call and you'll connect to that side again.
Your throat chakra
Okay, your throat chakra is not blocked at all which is good. You might be someone who say the truth directly without sugar coating. I see that you hate lying to people and you hate being lied to which frustrate you too much. Also I see that you are someone who is very cunning and smart, you might be claircognizant which means that the downloads you receive are through clear knowing. You know things, you just know everything (the keyboard kept typing the words despite me deleting it for 5 times). Also what you say can become real so be careful, your words are like magic. Speak with caution.
Your heart chakra
Your chakra is not that blocked but still you carry a lot of negative beliefs about God and love. I see that you are someone who is very deep, very emotional but you don't let people see that side of you. I see that you are building a wall around your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt. I see also that when you are in love you become a poet (here comes the throat chakra part) you know how to express verbally how much you love your person. I see also that romantic relationships are meant to awaken the divine in you. Also it meant to teach you how to be balanced emotionally.
Your solar plexus chakra
Okay, this chakra is blocked. First you tend to TRY to balance your views on yourself BUT you either fell in a delusional episode that you are daring and confident and then your inner critic appear and you start talking negatively to yourself. I see also that your views on yourself are very much linked to other people around you. Also you might be someone who is very dependent on other people's praise and words of affirmation to get through your inner-critic you might be one of those people who needs constant reassurance that your partner is still in love with you and they see you beautiful. Which can be good and bad at the same time.
Your sacral chakra
Hmmm, you might be someone who lack stamina. I see that one round can make you feel like they are ten. But anyways, even with that you might be someone who is considered very fertile so be careful of unplanned pregnancy if you are a woman and if you are a man (you don't have enough stamina) I'm not judging. Also, you might get very protective of your sexuality. In other words; you don't have sex with random strangers. You need commitment to feel comfortable. I'm not seeing blockages here it might be underactive (the chakra).
Your root chakra
(I've written this paragraph 3 times and each time I save it; tumblr delete it. I got very impatient but at least I hope this will resonate with you).
I see that you started getting very comfortable in your loneliness. This came as a result of a very devastating breakup that caused you to stay away from people and detach from them. Well baby, this chakra is blocked too. I see that you don't even feel comfortable in your own family. I see also that growing up, your surroundings wasn't safe enough for you to grow and blossom. As a result in your current energy, you either avoid people (build a wall around you) or trying to find someone who have the same communication style as you. Also I see that you might be afraid of repeating the same experiences which drive you away from your soul family. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
Pile 3 - Angel wings 🫀
Your current energy:
Hello lovelies, how are you?. First; I don't know why I'm feeling hesitant. I kept typing question marks even though I have no questions right now. Do you have any questions that you feel like you can't find answer to? I feel like this pile have been overthinking a lot. You may be pursuing someone or you might be pursued by someone I'm not really sure, so take what resonates okay? Let's get into the reading. Anyways, I feel like you might be in a connection that you feel it is destined to happen. Maybe this connection is a soulmate connection or you are feeling a soul tie to this person. I feel like this person or you (the one who is going to pursue the other) is quite detached. Like yeah, I love you and I want you BUT I will not put everything in my life on hold for you. It is like this person know their worth and their persuasion is coming from a place of love not neediness or desperation. Whatever the case I see a beautiful relationship that will blossom into something long term. I see that this person sees you their queen or king. I see also that they want to feel you and enjoy life pleasures with you (food, fine clothes, s*x etc..). So, their approach is "I want you because I think we are compatible not because you are going to do a list of things for me. I see that if your or their persuasion succeeded (omg I keep typing question marks! It is like this person or you want the other sooo bad but they are unsure where to start!) It is going to be a very beautiful and healthy relationship. Also there's passion and a lot of it. This person is sooo excited to be with you. Like they want you right now but they are trying to control their fires. I see that whenever they want to text they say yo themselves "hold your horses and act cool" then they squeal because they can't talk to you. Also, I feel a strong mint taste in my mouth all of sudden. Maybe you use breath Refresher that taste like mint? If you or the person is pursuing you does that tell me in the comments deal?
Confirmation placements for you:
Gemini, Cancer, very strong Taurus energy omg, sagittarius. Mars, venus, saturn as dominant planets in your chart. Stallium in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 9th house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
I feel like you guys are resistant to divine downloads. I feel like God/universe or anything you believe in are trying to guide you and show you the way but you are too stubborn to follow. Which is causing you to get stuck! I see that you feel emotionally imbalanced and you are very anxious. Guys, you need to trust the signs that you are seeing, you are not deluding yourself by seeing and wanting to follow them. I keep thinking of "catastrophizing" so, maybe you are complicating things on your own. Stop doing that, it is frustrating!. You are keeping yourself stuck because you think that there's no way but your own way which is not really working in your favor but against you. This chakra is not blocked, you are resistant to it. Be open and listen the universe is talking to you but you don't want to LISTEN!.
Your third eye chakra
Anyways, your ancestors was very spiritual and they passed you this gift which is Clairvoyance. You can see things too in your dreams, in your third eye. You can search for it if you want to. I feel like you get visions and images that flashes in front of your mind eye but you think that you are imagining things. I see that if you nurtured your talent you'll be a great psychic. You can search on YouTube to see how to develop them but be careful! Some people do it the wrong way and they become insane, let it develop naturally but be careful. This chakra is not blocked, it is developing but you are unaware of it. Also, you are getting psychic messages from your twin flame or soulmate constantly. Enjoy them💕
Your throat chakra
Looking at your throat chakra I feel like you keep things to yourself in hope that you can solve them on your own. I see that you might be very observant of others and details cannot go unnoticed by you. But somehow I feel like when it comes to your emotions you become very sensitive and you don't know how to talk it out? I feel like you guys may be so in love but you can't express your feelings? You keep everything to yourself because you think that no one cares? Dear pile 3 the right person cares as much as you do so don't burden yourself with sadness💕. Anyways, I see that you may also be a bit timid when it comes to say your truth. This chakra us underdeveloped. Try to balance it.
Your heart chakra
I see that you crave commitment but somehow you are afraid of committing to someone who is not going to give you the emotional fulfillment that you dreamed of. I see that you are ready to commit or at least ready for your first long term relationship. I see that you put in a lot of work to heal this chakra. If you are asking about the past; you totally healed and moved on. I see also that right now your heart chakra is balanced and open for love. You want to love without attachment and detachment which is great yeayyy👏🏻.
Your solar plexus
I feel like you still have insecurities from the past. Especially about how you look physically. I see that you don't trust yourself or have self confidence. I see that when you get compliment from someone you think that they are lying to you and they are just being nice. But it is more than that. I see that sometimes you get a strong surge of confidence and other times you just get sooo insecure you wish to hide in the darkest hole in the world. I see that in romantic relationships, you tend to really care about the opposite sex view when they look at you. And you overthink A LOT about how you present yourself to people. You need to balance this chakra or else you'll be in a lot of doubts of yourself especially in romantic relationships.
Your sacral chakra
I see that you get sudden urges to have s*x multiple times per day. I see also that you are motivated by emotions. EMOTIONS turns you ON so freaking bad. I feel like when you are in LOVE you want to do it with your partner non-stop and other times when you are alone you ignore that part of you like it never existed. Also you tend to be lazy when it comes to that thing so you just distract yourself. Also I feel like you are someone who is very fertile with good sexual drive but you don't know how to channel your sexual energy into anything. Try to channel it into craft (any) and see the results.
Your root chakra
Hmmm, I see that you have a LOT of people that you know. Basically; I feel like you know everyone everywhere. I think you are the type of person that can get along with everyone easily. Also your relationships with others are quite balanced. This chakra is very balanced but sometimes you tend to get lazy and overwhelmed by change. Give yourself some time and everything will be alright. You might be someone who moved a lot from house to house during your childhood? I think that you feel very tired if you have to even change furniture right now, this feeling is a result of childhood. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
Pile 4 - Lace teddy 🧸
Your current energy
Hello pile 4, welcome to your reading. (Note: this reading is a message for a specific audience, especially for people who are on a twin flame journey since I got many cards that was referring to that. If you are NOT on a twin flame journey then this pile might not be for you). Okay let's start; I see that you have unfinished business with your twin. This person, I am picking up on wants to reconnect with you. If you are in no contact/ separation right now. I see that they want to reconnect with you and tell you about the work that they have done and that they are very overwhelmed without you. I feel like (look I really don't know the stages of twin flame but I guess it is the last meeting before you go your separate ways). I see that you two are not meant to be in each others life. I see that you'll probably either reconnect and heal together and forgive what happened in the past and move on. I'm not seeing abandonment here; no. I see that both of you will talk things over and about the amount of frustration that both of you faced in your life without the other but at some point you'll realize that they or you are no longer (emotionally or mentally) want to be involved in each other's life. I see also that if you chose to move on from them you'll be faced with two people one of them have fire placements and the other have air placements and you can chose one of them to be in a healthy fulfilling relationship with. I see that your next relationship (if you decided to move on from your twin) will be very peaceful and balanced. You have the choice pile 4. Chose wisely.
Confirmation that this reading is for you:
Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Gemini, Aries, Pisces, Aquarius as signs for them or you. Jupiter, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, Pluto as dominant planets in your chart. Your sun or moon is in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 12th,9th, 11th house in your natal chart.
Your crown chakra
I think you guys get a spontaneous downloads from the universe or God. Some of you do really know how to work and interpret them and actually believe in that. I see that you see God or the universe as salvation. Some people in this pile are religious (whatever your religion). And you do really pray and worship a deity or a God. This chakra is not blocked but you need to balance it a little bit by meditation and connect to the source.
Your third eye chakra
Guys... why are you forcing your third eye to open? I feel like some of you are really focused on forcing it to open and you do those YouTube exercises to open it. Guys this exercises are going to overwhelm your third eye and as a result the energy in your third eye will be resistant and shattered? I don't know, whatever you are doing is not in your favor. Let it be; it'll open on it's own. Don't force it. If it open suddenly you won't like what you are going to see. I've warned you.
Your throat chakra
I see that this chakra was blocked before and unbalanced. I see that you worked really hard on balancing it. Maybe you were someone who played the victim and put all your bad luck on others and now I feel you stopped blaming people on your circumstances and took the lead to heal. You took your power back. I see also that you are now someone who doesn't sugar coat, you give plain truth to others which is good as long as they can take it. Also, I see that you keep nurturing this chakra, Good for you pile 4 👏🏻.
Your heart chakra
Okay, I see that this chakra is kind of imbalanced. I see that you anxiously hold to people in your life. You might have anxious attachment style and also I see possessiveness. You might be too possessive of people in your life. You are a control freak to people in your life. You need to acknowledge that people are not a private property for you to own. Try to balance this chakra so you can have more closeness and trust in your relationships.
Your Solar plexus
You have high self esteem. I see that your caregiver was really aware of that part. The part of your own identity. I see someone with strong identity. Even if your caregivers didn't nurture that, you have healed and built yourself a strong character foundation. I see that sometimes people mistaken your high self esteem of being egoistic. Others just appreciate how good is that in you. This chakra is not blocked.
Your Sacral chakra
Hmm, I see that you guys have had a terrible past that affected you in a bad way. I see that you might have had trauma regarding your sexuality. I see that there was either beliefs or incident that really made you fear intimacy. But, I feel like you have healed it. I see that right now you are very open with your sexuality and you healed the shame of intimacy. And if not then I see that you right it out ( you channel your sexual energy into art). Which is wonderful.
Your root chakra
This chakra is blocked. Why? I see that in this pile people feel like they don't belong anywhere. I see that you overthink the tiniest interactions with other people. I see that you also feel discouraged and emotionally imbalanced. I feel like the problem is in your beliefs pile 4. Your beliefs about belonging is what make you suffer. I see that many of you feel stuck in life or in a circumstance that you feel that you cannot leave. I see that you feel also disappointed because your dream life is in fact a dream and nothing change. Honey, you need to work in order to get that life nothing comes for free. Take care and thank you for reading it💕.
Post date: 9th of Nov-2024 / Sat
*Feedback is appreciated
#free divination#pick a card#free tarot#pick a pile#divination#divination readings#metaphysical#tarot pac#pick a picture#tarotblr#tarot reading
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Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10
Series Masterlist | Previous | Next
ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI
Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed
Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)
Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.
thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy
Chapter 10
“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him.
“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”
“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”
“Really?” She looks at him surprised.
“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”
“Good to know.” She nods, frowning.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor.
“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.
“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side.
“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription.
The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that.
“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”
“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”
“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”
Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.”
“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.”
Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆
“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.
She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.”
“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.”
“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”
The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”
“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”
“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.
“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”
Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”
“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.”
“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”
“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”
“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”
“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”
“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”
Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”
“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”
“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”
“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.
“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.
Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.
“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”
“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.
“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”
“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.
“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”
The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.
He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders.
Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt.
“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”
“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”
“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.”
Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans.
“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”
“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”
“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.”
“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”
“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.”
“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple.
She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers.
Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”
“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”
“Let me prep you first.”
He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers.
“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.
“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”
“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in.
When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.
“Does it hurt?”
“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”
Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.
“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.
“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him.
When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.
“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.
“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”
She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”
Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.
He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.
Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”
“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.
Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants.
Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”
“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”
“Love you too.”
______________________________________________________________
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I had time to read just one chapter but I wanted to make a recap anyway because the next chapter is like 360000 pages long (I may be exaggerating slightly) and I'm not sure if tomorrow I'll be able to update, so we're doing just gideon tonight (I have a feeling she'd love that wording)
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
CHAPTER 48
gideon tells harrow that she should have probably killed off mercygirl but she wasn't "thinking straight"
when has she, though
she decided to keep going further into the emperor's infested bolthole
she finds a lot of corpses of bees that have been killed already
and thinks harrowcita would have appreciated how bad and nasty everything looked
then follows the corpses and the scent of despair and murder and finds yandere twin at the end of it, standing like a pulp fiction killer
gonna illustrate with a susan denberg movie poster I find appropriate
yandere twin gets emotional and goes "harry, you're—"
to which gideon answers with "Alive, bitch"
gideon says that she "had long since ascended to the rank of double douchbag" which I consider another memorable instance of chad catching strays
and gideon has some Issues to Resolve with yandere twin
and by resolve, I mean fix them with Violence
she starts getting upset at all the things yandere twin did to harrow, which include "faked to your fucking face like she couldn't see a corpse that was obviously there"
I SAID I THOUGHT SHE WAS GASLIGHTING HARROW
gideon is very determined to fix all of this diplomatically
by beating the crap out of her
they start a banter that will be an incredibly entertaining thing to witness for the next pages
I can't make it justice in a recap tbh
I was just basically like
gideon will, in a very persistent way, throughout the conversation, tell yandere twin that harrow will never love her
yandere twin wants to give gideon funny nicknames, like who would do that, that's so disrespectful, I can't even fathom doing that at all
not to gideon, anyway
yandere twin says that mercygirl disappeared, augustine dropped out and gideon the first is trying to handle the stuff on his own, kinda?
she's surprised by the fact that mercygirl tried to kill harrow
"why did you ascend to be a lyctor?" "ultimate power—and posters of my face" "Fair"
they find augustine being useless in a hallway and, when he sees gideon's eyes, he panics and bolts out of there
these lyctors are all a joke istg each and every one of them
except for, I think it was cassiopeia, who had the ceramics collection, she's fine
well no, I don't condone planet murder for ceramics, but she gets a bit more points than the rest for them
there's a lot of talk about buttholes between gideon and yandere twin and I'm not above that, since I've been making bolthole jokes this whole time
gideon is living for the nudes in yandere twin's room
nobody is surprised about that
but there's no time to think about the nudes or buttholes anymore when yandere twin pulls out a harrow letter for gideon
gideon is going through it even before opening it, as are we
she finds her glasses and a note that says
"one flesh, one end"
"Fuck one flesh, one end, harrow" "Because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night"
always so poetic, ortus can't even get close to this level
gideon keeps telling yandere twin that she has no chance with harrow
"I hated those eyes in her face; I kept expecting to smell hair gel."
chad catching strays at every turn, I live
gideon explains about harrow being in love with ice cube barbie
"I know the signs of Nonagesimitis"
and yandere twin goes "All that fuss about the Saint of Duty. What a little hypocrite"
which I guess is because of the whole gideon the first and not!dulcinea thing? but that's like totally different form whatever this is???
there are layers to the corpse and lyctor relationships, you guys
it's a very wide spectrum
gideon says that her connection to harrow has to do with her being her cav which...ok, gideon
"Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention"
gideon rn:
yandere twin isn't deterred by all of this information and thinks harrow and her have an eternity to bond because they're lyctors
as if they weren't doomed right now but ok girl, go for your dreams, I guess
gideon threatens yandere twin not to be nasty with harrow and to get away from her with her nasty necro ways
yandere twin goes "What can I say, I love a little gall on gall"
which absolutely wins gideon over for a sec
"Reverse everything I just told you. Let's get married"
I knew the horny puns would help them bond
it's the little things sometimes that bring us all together
yandere twin says chad used to say she would "go to hell and get fucked" and you know what, fuck that guy
this is why he's still catching strays on a regular basis 9 months later
yandere twin wants to take gideon to see dr reverend emperor john
gideon goes "No, thanks. I'm good"
that's what I would have said, I approve
but she has no choice, because harrowcita is still gone and whatever's going on is ??????
so, out she goes to follow yandere twin to see this asshat
who maybe will, at the very least, give us a little more info on gideon's demigod status
fingers crossed
hope he dies
And that's it for this update!!! It's a short one but we're moving forward!!!
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Random updates on the manga...
After doing some research, I've decided I'll publish the first chapter on Webtoon when it's done. Tho it's not the best for manga-style, it seems to be the most popular, so I thought it would be easiest for people to read.
As a result, I've slighted tweaked the format to be juuuust a bit taller and with larger text so it reads well on mobile/in the app (I did a lot of tweaking and testing for my first pages dhfjdjdj)
Also as a result, I'm gonna have to tone down Genzou's mouth 🤣 Because with high profanity level it said it would automatically label it as mature and I don't want that since it would be only the language doing so (and apparently on Webtoon mature-rated comics get almost no visibility)
I have 17 pages done so far! And haven't even made it to the 4 pages I've already done so it's technically 21 lol (tho I'll need to tweak those a bit to match my new format)
I'll probably divide the first chapter into 3 episodes and publish them all at once since it seems to be recommended that you launch a comic with 3 episodes (which is probably ok anyway as it will likely be a bit long otherwise as one single episode)
I've been listening to nonstop rock Western music playlists on YouTube LOL
I'm going to get so good at drawing horses and horse-related paraphernalia after this (and dogs apparently)
I'm pleasantly surprised by how my BGs have been turning out; they feel soft yet immersive in a way that fits the vibe, and they also don't take me forever and a day to do
Iggy looks so cute in some panels I want to cry
Genzou looks so cute in some panels I almost ascend to another plane
No matter what becomes of this, this has been great for my art. I'm drawing so many new poses and angles and compositions and it's been both challenging and fun. It's a lot of stuff I think will help my future VN work, as well
I mentioned in an ask reply the other day already but I have roles in mind for both Orlam and Gidget already in future chapters if I do continue it, and there will also be a variety of smaller cameos for some other chars, too
Overall, I'm still having fun and can't stop drawing LOL I'm excited every day to work on it and finish more pages 💕
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love song ♬– chapter 7 [ J.M ]
pairing: jamal musiala x fem!oc
summary [please read]
genre(s): strangers to lovers, fluff, football romance and comfort [love song playlist]
[w.c: 3.8k] masterlist
notes: another update ahhhhhh!! just some more cutesy moments of my two favourite people ever <33 (they're so disgustingingly cute, it's making me sick)
previous chapter | next chapter
the week leading up to the quarter final unfolded like a warm breeze, carrying jamal and noelle’s secret relationship on it's gentle currents. stolen glances, whispered conversations, and fleeting touches became their language, spoken only to each other.
the boys had gotten back to camp sooner than expected, a 2 day break being more than enough. after what had happened at the movie night, where sophia and aaliyah found out that jamal was over they tried to milk noelle for any bit of information they could. but she was surprisingly calm about it, sending them looks of judgement for thinking that she'd do anything.
“I don't know where you think I'd get the courage for that,” she said, not looking up from her notes on the kitchen counter. “the most we did was fight over the popcorn.”
aaliyah leaned against the counter, her arms crossed over her chest as she tried to decipher noelle's attitude. she sent sophia a glance, the brunette merely shrugging. “and what about the denmark match? you do realise that there are pictures up of–”
noelle drew her lips into a thin smile, and finally looked up at her friends. “that was out of my control. but there's nothing going on, he's a good friend though. glad to know that I'll have some company back in munich when the tournament is over.”
aaliyah's eyes narrowed, her gaze lingering on noelle's serene expression. “you're awfully calm about this.”
her smile never wavered. “what's there to be upset about? we hung out, watched a movie. that's it.” she got back to her books, her focus solid. “and you can blame any of those denmark rumours on your boyfriend.”
they had no choice but to believe her because they knew how jittery she got when hiding something from them. but this was something that noelle wasn't ready to let out yet, so she put her discipline to the test and fought it out— because she'd like to enjoy the privacy for a bit longer.
the quarter final was looming, merely hours away when the three friends arrived in stuttgart after the 3 hour drive. the excitement was palpable, the town beautifully decorated with their county flag, performers in the streets, merchandise stalls and tourists all flooding the streets on the way to their hotel.
they didn't waste that much time with getting ready, their corresponding germany jerseys weighing a lot more than they hoped. naturally, they were anxious but tried to keep the mood as light as possible and before they knew it they were back in the stands.
as they took their seats, the electric atmosphere enveloped them. the stadium was a sea of german flags, with pockets of spanish supporters scattered throughout who were just as excited.
hand in hand, the three friends watched as the teams emerged from the tunnel with laser focus and silent prayers. someone caught noelle’s eye and she was quick to point him out with an eager finger. “it's the boy— the child!”
both aaliyah and sophia turned their attention to the moroccan 17 year old on the pitch, their eyebrows furrowed. “he looks so much younger in person,” sophia said with her mouth agape and the other two agreed before going silent to sing along to their national anthem.
the captains of the two teams shook hand and exchanged flags, quick to get into their positions and wait for the whistle to blow. noelle took a deep breath, her brief conversation with jamal on the phone the night before sitting on her chest.
he was nervous and called her after midnight for some reassurance. noelle as obviously still awake at that time, her laptop on her lap as usual as she carried on with her thesis. when she saw his name pop up on her phone she couldn't hide the smile on her lips and happily answered.
“can't sleep?” she asked when picking up, not even a proper greeting which caught the footballer by surprise, his silence answering her question.
“oh, so you can read minds?” he said playfully. “aren't you just full of surprises.”
a soft giggle left her lips and she got comfortable on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. there was a beat of comfortable silence again, and she could already picture him staring at his ceiling.
“I'm assuming you called me because you're nervous for tomorrow.”
she heard his sheets shuffle from the other end of the line, his inevitable tossing and turning making her sad. “I'd be lying if i said that I wasn't,” he admitted, his voice low and introspective.
noelle's tone turned soothing, his need for comfort was the first thing on her mind. “you're prepared for this, you've got an entire team behind you.”
“I know,” he sighed. “it's just… this feels different. it feels like everything.”
her heart went out to him. she would never be able to understand the pressure that he was under, but even if her words eased his mind a bit, she'd be content. “you're going to be amazing. you always are.”
she bit her tongue, unsure if she was ready to admit anything more. “but just know that no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay. you had fun, and did all that you could with the rest of the team, okay?”
a groan was heard from his side, and jamal did all he could to suppress the smile on his face. he felt like a teenager. her words made him feel so safe. “you're killing me here. I don't know how long I can keep my mouth shut.”
noelle stifled a laugh, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt. “it's been a week. if anyone asks, you're just a really good friend.”
“no, no, no. don't say that,” he teased, his voice playful. “you'll jinx me.”
noelle laughed. “I'm not superstitious, but if it makes you feel better, I'll knock on some wood.” she rapped her knuckled on the coffee table, knocking thrice.
“there, happy now?” she asked with an eye roll, earning a hearty chuckle from jamal.
“yeah, thanks for sacrificing your dignity for my sanity.”
she stifled a scoff. “anytime, superstar.”
“hey, watch it,” he teased. “I'm still your best friend, remember.”
her smile was sly, a tell tale that she was enjoying this more than she expected. “for now.”
his gasp on the other end of the line had her throwing her head back in laughter. “you're such a tease, you know that?”
her laughter was music to his ears. “you started it.”
the crowd's roar brought her back to reality, the match was underway and her attention was back on the pitch, her nerves resurfacing that she couldn't quite shake off. she had faith in the team, but there was always a need to be prepared for the worst. and knowing how bad this would affect the boys if they lost, they already had a plan.
germany were dominating the game, however spain made use of their possession and were ruthless on their wings. lamine yamal on the right and nico williams on the left were any defender’s worst nightmare, and rightfully so.
the weather was actually quite warm for once, the sun beating down on them that late afternoon. as germany maintained their aggressive pace, spain's swift counterattacks kept the german defence on high alert. the warm sun best down on the players, sweat-drenched faces etched with determination.
as the referee blew his whistle, signalling a brief water break, the players welcomed the respite from the scorching sun. germany and spain alike sought shade, guzzling water and towels to cool down.
the camera, seeking to fill the lull, panned across the stands. sophia, noelle, and aaliyah appeared on the massive screen, their faces beaming.
jamal's eyes, scanning the sidelines, locked onto the screen. noelle's image captured his attention.
her smile, radiant and carefree, stole his breath. for a moment, the fatigue, the pressure, melted away.
his lips curled into an unconscious smile. her eyes were sparkling as she spoke to her friends, laughing, unaware of her face on the stadium's screen. she wasn't known in the media, only surfacing these last few months because of the tournament and her connection to florian and kai.
she was private— a normal university student from munich who was part of a more popular circle. but they loved her. the media loved her, the photographers these 2 months were having a ball of time capturing candids of her at the matches.
she didn't mind of course, and bashfully welcomed the silent attention because there was no point in fighting it.
aaliyah's enthusiastic waving and sophia's bright grin surrounded noelle's serene image. she simply showed sophia something on her phone, a smile drawn to her lips as she effortlessly ran her fingers through her hair.
but jamal's gaze remained fixed on her, his jaw slacked and heart. the camera lingered, capturing his reaction. a fleeting glance and a soft smile. unaware of the audience, noelle's eyes shone with excitement.
the referee’s whistle pierced the air and the water break was over, the game commencing almost immediately and then reaching half-time with a 0-0 draw. the final score was actually unpredictable at this point, which only made it more nerve-wracking.
there wasn't much to do at halftime besides take pictures and update their socials, and pray that the second half of the match actually played in their favour. and so it did, for a good few minutes at least.
dani olmo managed to hit the back of the net, 10 minutes into the second half and awaken the entire stadium in a matter of seconds. the spanish supoorters were out of their seats, rejoicing at the tie breaker while the home side watched in agony.
the rest of the match was a nightmare, both teams played well and had their chances, but none of them managed to stand until florian's goal in the 89th minute to reclaim their spot and hope for a victory. but what this meant was that they were going into added time, and possibly a penalty shootout.
aaliyah was out of her seat with her roaring cheers as usual as she watched her boyfriend run up to kai and jamal to celebrate. it was a breath of fresh air to break the tie, a sign of hope and triumph that they could emerge victorious.
the final whistle blew to indicate another short break before extra time, the teams huddling together for their last pep talks and words of encouragement. then 120th minute rolled around and spain scored their winning goal, a punch in the gut to the home side as germany couldn't equalise.
as the final whistle pierced the air, the stadium's energy deflated, leaving behind a sea of mixed emotions. germany's dreams had been shattered, while spain's jubilation echoed through the stands.
aaliyah and sophia, rushed onto the pitch, embracing florian and kai in tight hugs, their boyfriends' faces etched with disappointment and pride.
jamal, however, stood apart, his gaze scanning the crowd until it landed on noelle. her eyes, brimming with empathy, locked onto his, and for a moment, the world around them melted away.
the distance between them seemed insurmountable, yet her gentle smile beckoned him closer. noelle navigated through the throng of people, her eyes never leaving his. as she reached him, his restraint crumbled, and he opened his arms, enveloping her in a warm embrace.
the stadium's noise receded, replaced by the gentle pressure of noelle's touch. jamal's face buried in her shoulder, seeking solace in her warmth. the world around them faded, leaving only the gentle rhythm of noelle's heartbeat.
"It's okay," she whispered, her voice a soothing balm to jamal's frazzled nerves.
for a fleeting moment, they stood there, lost in each other's eyes, the pain of defeat temporarily forgotten.
the camera's gaze, however, lingered, capturing the intimate moment. the media's whispers began, speculating about the nature of their relationship.
“I hate to ruin the moment right now but I have to tell the interviewers that you're my really good friend right?” he asked, his voice muffled as he hid futher in her shoulder.
a meek laugh left her lips and she hummed in response, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “you can tell them that I'm your cousin too, but that's going to end badly eventually.”
they reluctantly pulled away from the hug, a shared soft smile in exchange for something more because there were still camera’s everywhere. suddenly, noelle felt a weight being dumped on her back, and to no ones surprise it was florian.
usually she would fight him off but today was an exception. she turned to face him properly and welcomed the embrace, his dramatic sighs and comments making it difficult for her to take the situation seriously.
“can you believe that referee?” he exclaimed, his voice dripping with frustration. “those calls were awful.”
noelle laughed, familiar with his post-match dramatics. “well, nothing you can do about it now.”
“we were robbed. daylight robbery!”
jamal was quick to interject, his brows furrowed as some of the staff members focus was on them, ready to capture any sort of reaction for an article headline. “dude, we lost. there's always next time, and they played a good game.”
florian scoffed as he let go of noelle, instead getting back to aaliyah who was more than welcome to comfort him. “the ref played an even better game then.”
“if any of this shit gets out tomorrow,” kai said, his face contorted with judgement with sophia at his side. “I will throw you under the bus so damn fast flo, I have no shame.”
no.elle
liked by sophiaamealia, aali.yah and 456 222 others
no.elle 🇩🇪🎀
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spamjam._. trent sends his regards 😕♥️ (from the bench)
→ no.elle girl 😭
jamalmusiala10 you actually posted 🙈
→ user OH??
→ user 🤨
florianwirtz I'm getting trauama flashbacks 😮💨
→ no.elle you just got back to the hotel. the match ended 2 hours ago...
→ florianwirtz are you undermining my trauma??? as a psych student??
→ user @florianwirtz I'm howlingggg 😭😭
→ user @florianwirtz let the girl breatheeee 💀
→ no.elle @florianwirtz are you crying because you bottled a quarter final??? as a professional footballer?? take a damn seat.
→ florainwirtz i'm sat🪑
after the interviews and getting their bags, and noelle's very random interaction with jamal's mother and siblings, the group was invited to a team after party. noelle heard “party” and immediately knew that she was staying in for the evening, locked up in her hotel room with room service and her thesis.
sophia and aaliyah were set after picking up florian and kai's luggage and setting it in their shared rooms, while jamal had his own. after a much needed shower and meal, noelle was sat comfortably underneath the hotel sheets, the tv playing in the background as she worked.
the soft glow of the hotel room's lamps enveloped her, creating a cozy sanctuary. she snuggled deeper into the plush sheets, her laptop open on her lap as she typed away on her thesis. the tv's gentle hum provided a soothing background noise, a welcome respite from the day's excitement.
she told sophia and aaliyah not to stay out too late, seeing as they actually had things planned for the following day. the response that she got was, “thanks, mother. let us know if we need to be back in time to milk the cows for breakfast.”
as she typed away on her thesis, the words flowing with ease and with more understanding than before she flipped through her notes for cross references and whatnot. the evening wore on, her focus waning from time to time but she pushed through, that was until an unexpected knock on her door made her halt.
her fingers hovered over the keyboard, her slight confusion piquing when she saw the time at the bottom of her screen. 11:23 pm. it was far too early for sophia and aaliyah to be home, and the party was still going strong.
having no other choice, she threw off her covers and padded to the door. she peered through the peephole, the familiar face making her heart leap as she quickly opened the door to reveal jamal stood outside in a pair of sweatpants and tshirt.
noelle eyed him for a moment. “did you just get out of the shower?”
he raised his eyebrows playfully and she took a step to the side so that he could come in. “I wasn't in the mood for people tonight.”
noelle locked the door and leant back on the door, her arms crossed for further explanation. a teasing hum left her lips and she nodded. “I'm 100% sure that I'm a person as well.”
jamal's eyes were drinking in every bit of her demeanour, and how comfortable she looked. “a person that I'll always be in the mood for. there's a difference.”
noelle's cheeks flushed as his words washed over her, their intensity making her heart skip a beat. she uncrossed her arms. her hands falling to her sides as she searched for a witty retort.
“charmer,” she whispered more to herself and made her way over to where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. she searched his eyes for answers, silently nitpicking at any sign for what he was really doing in her room this late.
he leant back on his hands, letting his gaze follow her every move with a gentle smile.
“you know what, since you're here you might as well— ah!”
before she could register, jamal's hands were on her waist, tugging her down onto the mattress beside him. her surprised laughter filled the room, jamal looking down at her with a playful smile. “you were going to invite me to stay weren't you?”
she rolled her eyes at the question, unbelievable. “maybe.”
he scrunched his nose, not too fond of the answer but he let it slide. his fingers gently traced her jaw before leaning in a bit more. noelle's eyelashes fluttered shut ans she titled her head upwards. the kiss was gentle, a soft brush of his lips against hers.
her hands drifted up, her fingers tracing the curve of his neck as he deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around her. time melted away, leaving only the two of them, lost in the moment.
a giggle fell from noelle's lips and she swat him away to sit back in her original spot. she picked up her laptop and patted the spot beside her for him, an eager smile adorning his lips. “I have work to do but you're cute so you can stay.”
his eyes sparkled as he set beside her and she lifted her arm for him to take refuge under. he felt like a child, his heart pounding as he settled on her chest— his head resting on her shoulder.
as jamal settled into the warmth of noelle's embrace, he felt his entire being relax, like a sigh escaping from the depths of his soul. her arm wrapped snugly around him, a gentle anchor holding him fast, and he let himself be enveloped by her presence.
the soft rise and fall of her chest beneath his cheek was a lullaby, soothing his racing thoughts and calming his heart. the scent of her skin, a subtle blend of floral and sweetness, filled his senses, making his feelings swirl with tender intimacy.
his gaze drifted to the gentle curve of noelle's neck, the soft wisps of hair escaping her ponytail, and his chest swelled with emotion.
the sound of her typing was a gentle melody, a background hum that harmonised with the beating of his heart.
“you know for someone who’s never had a boyfriend before,” jamal broke the silence, his voice low. “you're really good at it.”
her lips pursed at the compliment, her cheeks growing warm because in actual fact, she had no idea what she was doing. “you're making it easy.”
In this quiet, sheltered space, noelle felt his defences dissolve, her guard dropping like a stone. she was vulnerable, open, and exposed – yet, paradoxically, she felt safer than he ever had before.
on the occasion he would take the liberty to point out a spelling error and joke about how he should've been an editor. noelle rolled her eyes at his gimmick, his gentle nature soothing. “you still haven't said anything yet.” she took a quick glance at the boy beside her. “about the match.”
a sigh left his lips, a telltale that he was trying to forget. “what's there to say? we lost, and the team is upset but it's normal. we’ve been here before.”
she didn't press the matter any further and placed a kiss on his temple, causing him to squirm beneath her grip in an attempt to hide his blush. noelle's soft laughter was a whispered caress against his ear. "aw, look at you getting all shy."
jamal's cheeks burned hotter, but he couldn't muster the energy to protest. being this close to her, feeling her warmth and affection, made his defences crumble.
as they settled back into comfortable silence, jamal's thoughts returned to the match. her gentle probing had uncovered a sensitive spot, but her quick retreat had soothed his frazzled nerves.
he appreciated her intuitive understanding, her ability to sense when to push and when to pull back. as the night wore on, Jamal's eyelids grew heavy, his breathing slowing. noelle's presence was a lullaby, rocking him into a peaceful slumber.
just before drifting off, he felt noelle's lips brush against his forehead, a soft whisper: "I'm glad you're here."
jamal's heart swelled, his thoughts muddled by sleep and emotion.
as noelle's lips brushed against his forehead, she felt a flutter in her chest, a delicate dance of emotions. happiness swirled with trepidation, like wisps of cloud entwining with sunshine.
her mind whispered doubts, faint but persistent: was she rushing into this? was she ready?
the fear of ruin lingered, a shadow in the recesses of her thoughts. what if their relationship imploded, leaving scars and shattered dreams?
but as she gazed at jamal's peaceful face, his features softened by sleep, her fears began to unravel. her thoughts drifted to the laughter they shared, the whispered secrets, and the quiet moments like this, wrapped in each other's arms.
she felt alive, her heart beating with a vibrancy she'd never known before.
she was scared, yes, but she was also open— open to the possibility of love, of heartache, of growth. the uncertainty was exhilarating, a rollercoaster of emotions she was willing to ride.
for the first time in her life, noelle felt ready to surrender to the unknown, to let go of control and trust the universe. she was falling, and she was terrified.
#cherrei writes#jamal musiala fanfic#jamal musiala x reader#jamal musiala#jamal musiala imagine#musiala#musiala x reader#footballer imagine#footballer x reader#euro 2024#football imagine#fanfic#bayern munich x reader#bayern munich#bayern münchen
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A fun fact about Kickstarter is that if you go four weeks without posting an update, people can press a button to tell Kickstarter a creator isn't updating enough and they get a scary red email. I have done five personal kickstarter campaigns and been involved in a handful more, and I don't believe anyone has ever pressed that button on me because I keep people informed. Even if I go over a month without updating, I try to be really clear about timescales and what I'm working on.
For Beekeeper's Picnic, there's someone who presses that button every single time I let things go more than four weeks. Even if I've specified the date the next update will be, even if I've explained not to expect updates for a certain period of time, even if I'm visibly posting bits and bobs on social media.
There was even one time I'd just posted an update and had to get it taken down by Kickstarter due to an actor leaving the project, which made the KS system think I hadn't updated in five weeks. They even pressed it then. Even though they must have just had an email from me.
At this point, it feels like they don't even read the updates?
The first time it happened I was really upset and worried about it, like I genuinely lost sleep over it and had to take time out of making the game to rush through an update. At this point I've realised it doesn't make the Kickstarter Police come and kick your door in, and I don't want to reinforce the behaviour that reporting me to KS makes me suddenly abandon my planned timescales, so I'm trying to be chill about it.
I know as well as anyone who has contributed to a crowdfunding campaign that it's worrying when they go quiet, but I wish this person would cut me a little slack. I think it's so obvious that I'm putting a lot of energy into keeping people informed.
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firstly: AAA YOUR ART AND COMICS AND STUFF ARE SO AMAZING!!!!
secondly: do you have any advice on how to come up with comics and then get them out of your head and onto paper?
BZHXHXHD THANK YOU SM!!!
And ooh that’s a good question
I usually come up with comics in one of two ways, either seeing something (whether another artwork, a text, something irl, etc) that inspires an idea for a comic, or via artworks I made that I expand on
Other times, it can actually be both
For example, the “A little life update” comic was actually inspired by this beautiful artwork, I saw it, and I immediately thought of Killer, idk something something about the despair of being stuck between a rock and a hard place etcetera etcetera (yes the comic that shows Killer to be in such a better place in life and show the hope he has, was inspired by crushing despair in actuality)
It made me wanna do something with Killer trying to call someone on a public phone, and so the first page came to be
Here’s the twist tho, I originally was gonna just make it into an artwork (yes, one single decision could’ve meant that comic wouldn’t have ever been made)
But a lil habit of mine is ask myself a shit ton of questions when it comes to my own artworks (it actually helps me turn what’s supposed to be artworks into comics), and that’s another way of how you can come up with comics, ask yourself questions, why is the character doing this? What are they doing? What if character did this? Etc
so I saw what was originally gonna be an artwork, and asked myself, who would Killer be calling if he ever did and why?
And the answer to those two questions that made sense to me most was Nightmare, but that led me to two more questions, when would Killer be calling Nightmare and for what?
And that led me to have a basic idea of how I wanted the comic to go
So it was basically like
Who would Killer be calling? Nightmare
Why would Killer be calling Nightmare if he ever did? That actually had different answers, to taunt him, to inform him of something, cause he misses Nightmare in his own fucked up way, etc
When would Killer be calling Nightmare? After he’s saved, or while still under him? After he’s saved makes more sense
What would Killer call Nightmare for? To give him an update about his life with Color
How would Killer be calling Nightmare? Through a public phone
Where would Killer be calling from? Somewhere in an AU in the surface
These six questions, what, why, when, who, where, how, are important to think of, they give you a basis to work on when it comes to comics in general
You don’t need to have a very clear answer to each of them to be able to work on a comic, but if you can at least answer 3 of them, that would give you enough information to work with in a comic
Now that I have a tiny bit of a clear idea about what I wanted to do (it doesn’t have to be perfect or completely concise) let’s talk about how you take these ideas out of your head and into paper
You can do that by imagining the dialogue in your head and then immediately putting it into paper, as I mentioned here, I actually struggle a lot with dialogue, art? No problem, I can easily imagine the art, but dialogue? It’s hell (please take the time to read the linked post, I talk in depth about how I handle dialogue)
That’s why you shouldn’t worry about perfection at this stage, just put every little piece of dialogue you imagine into paper, even if it feels like it makes no sense or is out of character, that’s something you can worry about later
Put in the dialogue, every little bit of it, and draw the panels that feels right for the dialogue
Here’s a little bit of example about what I mean when I say put the dialogue in then draw panels that make sense for it
This is a comic I plan on making, I actually drew that first panel as a stand alone artwork, then that inspired the dialogue, I wrote the dialogue down immediately, it’s a rough version of it, maybe I’ll keep it the same, maybe I’ll change it up as I work through the comic, but so far, I’m drawing the panels based on the dialogue so far, see what I mean by write the dialogue down? It helps IMMENSELY
It doesn’t have to be perfect and it certainly doesn’t have to be the final version, but writing it down will help you imagine the art that comes with it
Does that mean you can never start with the art then think of the dialogue? NO
You absolutely can start with the art for the comic first, in fact, sometimes, doing that actually helps you imagine the dialogue better, other times you can’t really think of a dialogue but have a very clear image in your head about certain character interactions, draw that it’s ok, silent comics focusing on character interaction, is a thing that you can do without worrying about dialogue
Now when it comes to the actual making of a comic, first tip is find your own footing when it comes to comic making
Like listen, people are gonna tell you that the correct thing to do is that you have to make thumbnails for the comic before you make the actual comic to make sure the flow is good and you have room for speech bubbles and what not
Here’s the thing, making thumbnails for your comic is a life saver, it’s great, if you can do that go for it! But for a person like me with little to no energy, I can’t do that without losing interest and immediately abandoning my comic, I can’t do that without becoming frustrated and hate art for it
That’s why I say find your footing, if making thumbnails before working on the actual pages works for you go for it! or you can immediately just work on the actual comic itself like I do, it’s all about what you’re comfortable with and what makes more sense to you
That being said, when it comes to the panels themselves, always aim for less panels and more pages than the other way around
Sometimes, emphasis on certain emotions or aspects of the comic can only be done with fewer panels
That’s why my own comics would sometimes have pages that are either one or two panels max
The less panels you have in a page, the more concise, clear, and easy to follow your comic is, one of the biggest mistakes I made as a beginner artist, is that I focused on cramping the story in as few pages as possible rather than focus on the clarity of the comic
Here’s an example
Good luck reading that dggxgdgdh
This is a very old comic I made back in 2018? 2019?, I wanted the comic to be one page so bad I cramped everything into it without thinking about the fact people are gonna have a very hard time reading it, like this easily could’ve been 3-5 pages but old me couldn’t imagine doing that many pages (if she could see me now with 15 pages comics dhhdhdg) not only that, but the panels’ arrangement makes 0 sense
So when you make your panels there are 2 things to keep in mind:
1- less panels and more pages = clear easy to follow comic, as well as a better emotional impact
2- panel arrangement has to make sense and should be easy to follow, you can make sure it’s easy to follow by reading your own comic over and over as you’re making it, if you find difficulty following the dialogue or art, then it’s best to refine, change or edit your panel or dialogue arrangement
Another thing to keep in mind when making the comic is the flow, the best way to go about making sure that the flow makes sense is by thinking of the comic as you would an animation, how did the character go from point A to point B?
For example this page
Killer clearly has a bit of a distance from Nightmare in the second panel, so how did Killer go from being at a distance (point A), to right in front of Nightmare in the last panel (point B)? That’s what the two panels in between the these two points are for, is to show you that 1- Nightmare is using his tentacle, and 2- that tentacle wrapped around Killer’s arm, the rest would easily be filled in by your brain that Nightmare basically pulled him closer
Now for the ending of a comic, not every comic has to have a clear ending where it marks the end of a story, but rather, you can go for whatever satisfies you as an ending, or keep an ending ambiguous or open, to expand on a comic later
I say that the perfect ending for a comic is what gets the point of a comic across, if the point is made, then it’s a good panel to end the comic with
Don’t be afraid to scarp any page or panels if they make the comic awkward or if they don’t make sense or if it seems out of character don’t hesitate to change, edit or completely delete it
An example is the “choice” comic, it actually originally was 4 pages, I just decided to scrap the last page cause of two reasons
1- it added nothing to the comic
2- it was out of character for Stage 2 Killer
My last advice is don’t force the process, sometimes, the best way to go about making comics is to make them on your own time and slowly, sometimes, you get stuck with certain things in the comic, other times, you need a bit to figure out how to proceed with the comic, completely normal in the process, that’s why it’s important to work on comics in a way that suits you, but you can’t find what suits you without trial and error, so go and test the waters, you can never learn until you practice it yourself
Good luck, hope this helps, lemme know if you need more clarification or help, i’d be happy to help where I can <333
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Beautiful Disaster (13)
← Chapter 12 • series masterlist • Chapter 14 →
13 | Glass
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader
A party at Satoru's house ends in disaster.
words: 3.9k
AN: Hey guys! Not sure if anyone is even reading this story anymore, but I fell of the face of the planet for a while, sorry about that. Things IRL were crazy with work and my personal life, and I just didn't have it in me to write anything. Things are much better now and I was in the writing mood, so decided to give this one a little update, since I already had the chapter mostly written already.
I will be going through it to proofread/edit before I do the last two chapters (which will probably be posted together).
Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists
April 2012
Taking a deep breath, cinching the robe around your waist a little tighter, you step into the class. There’s a murmur from students setting up their supplies, getting their easels into position, and canvases ready to draw on.
The walls are covered in art from various classes and years passed - even some portraits of past nude models hang on the wall as examples of creative liberties and proper proportions. Something many artists have a hard time getting a handle on.
As you stand in front of the class, a little stool next to you so you can sit on occasion while the other students draw, you look around the room, making eye contact with Choso.
He gives a small, shy smile, like he always does and you swallow thickly - feeling the way your chest and neck heat with the flush creeping up to your cheeks.
Satoru wasn’t particularly… pleased when you told him you were taking an extracurricular art class this semester. Less pleased when he realized Choso was in your class.
And even less so when you told him you offered to be the nude class model.
The decision was easy though, despite his grievances. His only real one was jealousy and not wanting everyone in the class to ogle you - which you assured him wasn’t likely going to be the case. You have no reason to be ashamed, and everyone who’s taking this class knew this was an assignment. Besides, the professor has made it very clear that if anyone says anything or makes you uncomfortable, they’ll fail and be removed from the class.
You offered to be the model when you found out it’s a paid gig, and you’ll take an opportunity that arises to get your own money - money your mom doesn’t need to know about and money she won’t have any reason to grill you on how or where you spend it.
Once you explained this, Satoru relented a little, though you’re confident his problems have more to do with Choso than anything else. Which is ridiculous considering there hasn’t been anything more than a friendship between you two. It’s not like you have a history with Choso like Satoru does with Mei.
“Whenever you’re ready,” the professor states after closing the classroom door. You look around, taking in the overhead string lights giving the space a warm glow - the shades are drawn on the windows, stopping anyone from outside the room from witnessing what’s about to happen.
Licking your lips, and looking up at the ceiling, you draw the ribbons on the robe, letting the soft, fluffy material fall to the floor. The air is cold in the room, immediately perking your nipples as you purse your lips, feeling a wave of goosebumps cover your flesh.
The rustling of utensils being grabbed and the scratching on canvases immediately fill the room. Gaining a little more confidence, you look back at the class; Choso’s deep black eyes are the first - and only - you see in the room. At the beginning of the class, you thought it might be more awkward with him here, being the only person you know outside of class and seeing you vulnerable in front of everyone. It’s more comforting than you could have imagined.
In reality, you don’t know him all that well, but he’s always been kind, and he hangs around Suguru a lot. You also don’t miss the way his eyes trail the length of your body before he busies himself with what he’s supposed to be doing.
There are several times during class when your eyes meet, you give a little shrug and smile and he grins full-on, laughing to himself quietly as he continues drawing your form.
When class comes to an end, the professor allows you to leave to dress in the bathroom down the hall and come back since he has a few announcements.
Once you’ve changed you take your place next to Choso as the teacher drones on about maintaining professionalism from seeing a classmate naked and urging everyone to continue working on their canvases on their own time, turning in their finished work at the next class.
Except for you, of course, being exempt from having to draw anything and getting an automatic A on this assignment.
“Thanks for drawing me naked and not being a perv about it,” You whisper to Choso, nudging his shoulder gently with yours.
He flashes his brows, chuckling, “That’s kind of my thing, you know - trying not to be a creep.”
Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wait for Choso to finish packing his art supplies, slipping the canvas under his arm, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him out of the room.
“Are you coming to the party tonight? Haven’t seen you around the last few.”
Choso gives a wistful smile, “Yuji’s grandpa is sick, in the hospital so I’ve been joining him on his visits. But I think he’s hanging out with his friends tonight.”
“Great!” Smiling widely, you turn and walk backward toward your next class as Choso stops in front of the stairs, on the way to his, “Then I’ll see you there!”
Steam rolls out from the bathroom door when you open it, the cool breeze from Satoru’s room hitting your skin, immediately making you shiver. He’s lying on the bed, arm relaxed by his head, long legs crossed at the ankles.
As soon as you emerge, he lets his phone drop to his chest, a heated gaze watching as you meander around, combing through your hair and deciding what to wear for their house party tonight.
Per usual, there’s a fight tonight starring yours truly. How the higher-ups at the school haven’t figured this out, even with Toji acting as an “inside man” - for lack of a better term - is beyond you. You’d think schools would want to investigate why several students show up with black and blue bruises and cut lips and eyebrows every so often, but apparently, they have better things to do.
Satoru has gotten off the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist and slipping them under the towel until it becomes loose enough to drop to the floor. He pulls you close to him, one large hand splayed on your stomach, the other playful tweaking your pert nipple while he kisses down your neck.
You let out a soft sigh when he nibbles your lobe, before whispering, “You smell so fucking good,” pushing his hips into your ass so you can feel his growing length.
With a sharp gasp, he spins you around, setting you on his dresser, wrapping your arms around his neck as he continues nipping and kissing your neck. And almost inadvertently, as soon as he slips his hand between your thighs, you close your legs a little tighter.
Satoru pulls away, brows knitted as you sigh and purse your lips. His tone comes out harsher, more exasperated than you think he really means, “What’s wrong?”
The truth is your heart fucking aches at the state of your relationship. Things were so great, until they just weren’t anymore - there was a part of you that always thought people who described being in a hard relationship felt like they were drowning were just being dramatic. But it honestly feels that way.
Your chest is heavy and your heart beats so loud that sometimes it’s the only thing you can hear; your throat feels so tight you can’t catch your breath. There are nights where you’ve stayed up wondering if he feels the same way but in reality, you’re not sure he’d ever tell you.
He avoids conversations like the plague and is so much better at hiding his feelings and playing them off than you are.
Since the Okinawa trip, there’s been a lot weighing on your mind about how realistic this relationship with Satoru is. He’s fun and makes you feel alive with his silly ideas and schemes, makes you feel heard and seen. And along that same vein, there are times where you feel simultaneously loved and unwanted.
Afterall, he’s the one who wanted to keep things casual but relented only because you wanted a relationship and it almost feels as if you forced his hand with that. Sure, he made his own choice, but even then, there are things you can’t deny or look away from.
There’s no hiding Mei is a point of contention in your relationship. She has been since before it even started. And it was something you thought would go away - that she would see the two of you together and go find someone else to sink her claws into but she just keeps coming back, and for whatever reasons, he won’t let her go either.
Satoru told you their relationship was primarily physical - that there’s no real interest in one another beyond that, and the only reason they were involved to begin with was because of their family businesses being tied together. More convenient than anything.
So why won’t he let her go? And is it fair to even ask him to? Outside of Suguru, Shoko and even Utahime, she is one of his oldest friends.
You’ve also been wondering recently how much Satoru respects you. Considering how many times you’ve talked about how uncomfortable you are with this… relationship with Mei and how it hurts you, nothing has changed despite his repeated promises.
And it’s not logical to think he’d change.
Satoru groans when you hop off the dresser, grabbing your shirt and slipping it on, “I’m fine. Just not in the mood, I don’t feel great tonight.”
“You’re never in the mood anymore.” There’s no mistaking the annoyance in his tone as grabs his glasses to shield his eyes, no doubt rolling them behind the dark glass.
Despite the lie you’ve been telling, you want nothing more than to have him, let him have his way with you as he has so many times before. But you’re not emotionally ready to go there right now - you need time to think and you can’t do that when he’s buried ten inches deep in you almost every night.
So the physical aspect of your relationship has taken a hit. You’ve tried talking about Okinawa with him, bringing up everything with Mei once again - but just like always, Satoru says you’re being dramatic, making a mountain out of a molehill.
But it’s clearly not nothing since it bothers you and it’s clear as day to everyone around.
Satoru doesn’t bother staying by your side during most of the party, opting to meet up with some of his classmates. You try not to pay too much attention to him, but you sneak glances over every now and again.
He chats, a drink in hand while laughing and animatedly waving his free hand around while telling a story.
“Hello?” A pale hand waves in front of your face, snapping a few times, breaking you out of your trance - apparently you were staring longer than you thought.
Blinking a few times and turning your head, you look at Choso, “I’m sorry - what were you saying?”
He gives a soft smile, glancing between you and Satoru for a moment, “Everything okay?”
Pursing your lips and sighing heavily, you nod slowly, “Yeah… It’s just…” You trail off, not sure how much or what to actually say. It doesn’t take long to make a decision though, since looking back over to Satoru shows Mei has joined his little soiree. “He says nothing is happening, but he’s always with Mei.” You nod your head in that direction.
Choso purses his head and nods, “Yeah. I was wondering about that.”
“Great.” Your voice is monotone. Because this just confirms you’re not the only person who sees them together constantly - that it’s not just you being high maintenance or a pain in the ass. It is a real problem, and one Satoru refuses to acknowledge.
“Why don’t we,” Choso starts, eyes flickering between yours for a moment before pointing off to the side, “take some shots?”
Your eyes trail to where he’s pointing - a small group of people around a small table, just big enough for someone to lay on and take a body shot. A smile spreads across your face with amusement for two reasons: Shoko is currently taking a shot glass out of Utahime’s mouth and tipping it back and because you’re feeling a little petty tonight.
Maybe it’s the alcohol you’ve already consumed, your inhibitions are lowered but you don’t care. If Satoru gets to have someone other than you hanging with him all the time, going on family outings during the holidays and hanging on him twenty-four seven - then why can’t you do the same?
Choso’s questioning stare is innocent, so there’s a chance he won’t be up for this - there’s a part of you that wonders if he meant just regular shots, and not specifically body shots. You get your answer however, when you agree and a wide smile spreads across his face.
While you walk to the table and lay back on it once Utahime has gotten up, Choso busies himself with getting salt, a lime and a shot of tequila.
Shoko is off to the side, staring daggers at you before asking, “What the hell are you doing?”
You smile and shrug, “Playing his game. I’m tired of being the one that gets hurt all the time.”
“This is a really stupid fucking idea,” Utahime chimes in to your surprise. It’s not often she adds her two cents on your relationship - normally she just adds how stupid she thinks Satoru is.
Choosing not to answer, you lay back and turn to face Satoru. He’s not paying attention, however Mei is, you glare, lick your lips and lift your shirt just enough to expose your navel.
“Ready?” Choso asks and you nod, but he keeps a hold of the tequila shot, rather than putting it in your mouth.
Small grains of salt hit just below your belly button and then the feel of a small metal ball and cool tongue trail up. The reaction your body gives is normal; stomach clenching, breath hitching and thighs closing ever so slightly - like a reminder of all the times Satoru has done the same to you.
Looking down at Choso was a mistake - he has a mischievous smirk spread across his lips and heat in his eyes. And rather than take the shot in his hand, he presses his lips to yours. Your eyes widened in shock, because this was not part of the plan - it was supposed to just be a normal body shot, just something to make Satoru a little jealous and hopefully realize how he’s been treating you.
Panicked, you sit up and fix your shirt - Choso winks, placing the glass to his lips just as a fist connects with his jaw in a deafening crack. Satoru is seething, nostrils flared as he grabs a fist full of Choso’s shirt and pulls him in for another punch to the face.
Choso isn’t caught off guard this time, landing his own blow on Satoru’s cheek, and then his ribs.
“Stop!” You scream hysterically, covering your mouth with your hand, because this was not the mess you wanted to cause - this wasn’t supposed to happen!
Before you can take a step forward, a large hand grips your shoulder. Suguru is next to you, shaking his head before stepping in to separate the guys. Panicked, you look at Shoko who has a look of disappointment written on her face, Utahime is shaking her head, watching as Suguru stands between the two.
Satoru runs a hand down his face, Choso wipes his lip with the back of his hand as Suguru says something to them - when he’s done, Satoru stalks out of the room and up the stairs without so much as a glance in your direction.
“Why,” it’s a small noise that leaves your lips, not loud enough for anyone to hear other than yourself. Looking at Choso with upturned brows, you shake your head slightly. If you had known he planned on kissing you, there’s no way you would have agreed to do this.
He must have seen you mouth the word because Choso walks over to you, brows bunched together. “Because he treats you like shit. And you just let it happen time and time again.”
A scoff leaves your lips, “I love Satoru - you know what, I can’t deal with this right now.”
Onlookers move out of your way as you make your way to and up the steps to Satoru’s bedroom. The room is quiet, light off except the illumination of the lights peeking out from the partially closed bathroom door.
For the first time, probably ever, you knock on the door to make your presence known before poking your head inside. Satoru’s standing, head hanging between his shoulders, leaning on his palms on the cool countertop.
“Satoru,” a step forward with your hand outreached for him, wanting to check on the cuts on his lip, and the bruise blooming across his cheek, “I -”
“Stop.” He interjects, tone raspy, lifting his head to look in the mirror but not looking in your direction.
A sigh leaves your lips, because of course he doesn’t want to talk about this. He would rather let his emotions show physically - through sex or fighting - rather than sit and have a two minute conversation to talk things through.
“Okay…” You’re really not sure what to do in this situation, stay and potentially make it worse or leave him to cool off and come try and talk to him later. Opting for the latter, you take a step back - you really need to talk with Choso about what happened too, you just needed a second to take a step back and see Satoru. To make sure he didn’t need any bandages or some other medical care. With the exception of the few scrapes and bruises, he seems physically fine.
Turning and opening the door, a large hand reaches over your head and pushes the door fully closed.
“Where are you going?” Satoru asks, voice annoyed.
“To check on Choso.” It comes out quieter than you intend, which Satoru’s body heat radiating against your back, his hand still firmly pressed against the door, yours on the knob.
“Why? Kissing him wasn’t enough?”
Heat flares through your veins at the comment, because he’s acting like you asked for him to kiss you. And that was never the intention - you would never do anything like that, and he knows it - especially with your history.
He’s just trying to piss you off too.
Turning around, you snap at him, pointing a finger in his chest, “Maybe because my boyfriend went insane and beat the shit out of him,” he grins slightly at that comment, teeth pink from fading blood. “And because -”
Because you saw the way Choso looked at you when he suggested body shots. Knew it would piss Satoru off to no end. Because you were already questioning what Choso was wanting to do before you agreed. It was like you lost your mind in the moment, in all of the feelings and anger and hurt at everything that has happened, and continues to happen in this relationship.
“Because this is my fault.” Your voice is quiet, shoulders slumped, guilt written on your faces as tears well in your eyes.
Satoru’s arms are around you the moment the first tear drips from the corner of your eye, holding you close and rocking side to side gently.
“Don’t leave me,” He whispers into your hair and you’re sure he doesn’t mean physically, in this moment.
“I’m not - I won’t.” You say between sniffles, pulling back to look into his ocean blue eyes, showing his own uncertainty in this situation - a look you’re not used to from him. “Satoru, that was scary. It looked like you were trying to murder him.”
“I wanted to.”
Your brows pinch together at his admission, “You’re insane.”
“In a good way?” The teasing tone to his voice is starting to come back.
A small laugh leaves your lips, “How is there a good way to be insane?”
He thinks for a moment, pulling you back into his muscular chest before shrugging, “Dunno just, don’t go to him. Okay?”
Closing your eyes, you nod against him, taking in the warmth and safety you feel in his arms, hoping he’ll explain his reaction to that, “Why did you punch him?”
It takes several minutes of standing in silence, holding one another to realize he’s stopped swaying you back and forth, a motion you found comforting when he was doing it, and the odds of him answering are lower and lower with every passing second.
After another few minutes you pull away and sigh, wiping the smeared makeup under your eyes away.
“I don’t want him touching you,” Satoru says hurriedly when you open the bathroom door again, grabbing your free wrist, “Let alone kissing you.”
That’s not a real answer - just some fucked up possessiveness he feels he needs to display because another guy is clearly interested in you. Which is ironic considering he said the two of you could see other people before he agreed to try dating.
And clearly he forgets is attached to him at the hip anytime she’s around, but how dare anyone but Satoru do that with you. It’s a stupid double standard and one you’re tired of.
He lets your arm go when you shake your head slowly, which breaks your heart. Wishing he would fight for you right now, for your relationship - not physically fight, but actually listen to each other and work together to make things better.
Maybe it is time to call it quits. Having these feelings in your relationship continuously is not healthy and it’s taking a toll on you. At this point you’re not sure what’s worse - finding your boyfriend cheating on you with your own mother, or this cycle you found yourself in with Satoru.
There’s a deep stuttering sigh behind you, to your surprise, “Things haven’t been great between us recently,” he says quietly, clearly unsure how to say what’s on his mind, “And I - fuck -” he groans, running his hands up and down his fast several times, “I don’t know, okay, but I don’t want to see you with anyone else.”
Your brows are raised as you turn to look at Satoru with surprise, not having anticipated getting any sort of answer. It’s not much, but it speaks volumes that he’s admitted your relationship isn’t in a good place right now - honestly you weren’t sure he was even aware of it. He never wants to talk about these things, he’d rather have sex and show you how he feels by the way he delicately spreads your legs, teasingly kisses up your thighs and makes love to you.
But it also hurts that the only time he says he loves you, with the exception of the first few times, is when you feel like you have to force it out of him, or when he’s buried deep in your cunt.
“Are we gonna make it?” You whisper back. And for the first time in your relationship, find yourself wondering when this relationship will meet its inevitable end.
But maybe there is hope. He’s admitted this - maybe it’ll just take more time for him to find the words and continue learning to open up.
Satoru kisses the top of your head, opening the restroom door and pulling you gently to his bed, laying down behind you and covering you both with a throw blanket before whispering back, “We’ll make it... Just don’t leave me.”
So you don’t.
@petalsrdead @sofiaconlaz @lovelylashawnalee @s-witch-bitch @watyousayin @desthevirgo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @musababy @sagejin @ritsatoru @faewithsnakes @erenputurchildreninsideme @lex-dear @hvziers @babybae-shisui @sugurunicorn @niki-sun @lilith412426 @sofiaconlaz @lxvephxbic @iam-mia9 @laylasbunbunny @creolequeen11210 @xiaosie @lem-hhn @yogurttea @slut-jr @crystxlline @ritsatoru @abba-simp @myabae @etherealkakashi @hyperfixationsporfavor @yihona-san06 @ambersea7 @knightoflove
#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#violetsaffronfic#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojou satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#BD
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The Sun and the Night Sky is on hiatus!
Quick summary for those that wouldn't like that much reading. Sun/sky is going on hiatus for the sake of my own mental health. I don't know when it will be coming back as I don't know how my mental health is going to change in future. I'm still going to be writing and posting other fics on ao3, just not updating sun/sky but i'll probably still talk about/post art about the fic over here (but not everything will go on the fable smp tag so make sure to follow the tag for the fic if you wanna see updates) and any asks you guys send me i'd love to answer too - just don't ask me when the fic will be back <3
Thank you ♥
Anyways little bit longer rant below (warning for the bad mental healths stuff)
This fic was never supposed to be this long, and it was never intended to cover such heavy topics like it does today. But once I had opened that door it became a really good place for me to project all my struggles with dissociation and past bad relationships with food. But recently my mental health has deteriorated really badly and I had to stop writing more chapters for the fic, chapters 22 - 27 were all pre written so all i had to do was edit them and post them, which was easy enough. But chapter 28 was hardly written at all and 29 + 30 had a lot of extra stuff i had to write, which i managed by only writing small bits at a time and not including any scenes describing Icarus struggling with eating. and then yesterday I got diagnosed with an eating disorder. which is. scary to say the least. especially because i know how much writing this fic had an effect on causing it. i don't want to hate this fic, but at the moment i cannot deal with writing it or i will drive myself to abandon it. which is why chapter 29 + 30 got posted early because i really didn't want it hanging over me for another week.
I'm still gonna write and post fics, but sun/sky will not be updated until i feel secure in my mental state and get a little closer to recovery though i don't know how far away that will be, especially since I thought my mental state was secure before starting to write about those heavier topics but. it clearly wasn't as good as i thought it was. I'm also still going to talk about sun/sky, I have a few little bits to talk about and i'll probably end up doing some art when i inevitably start to miss it. I would also love to answer questions! So please please please always put stuff in my ask box to give me excuses to talk about the fic.
Only thing I will say is DO NOT ask me when sun/sky will be coming back, like previously mentioned i don't know as it entirely depends on my mental state and if you ask me when it'll be back it'll only make me feel pressured to recover faster which will probably make it take longer
I've said it before, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic. There have been some moments where I've felt this fic and the people who are waiting to read it has been keeping me alive. So thank you for caring about this thing that i've created <33
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Whole List of "Ace in the Hole" Prompts Pt 1
For anyone who is interested in reading the WHOLE MASSIVE list of prompts people have sent in via private messages, AO3, or tumblr, here it is broken into numerous posts because it's so long.
Multi-Chapter Fics
story idea: every chapter is a different date that the girls go on wether that’s as a pair or a three and it’s from the start of there relationship to where ever it goes (Tumblr yasmineillustration)
a cheating scare with ace. where hotch/someone else needs ace to help out with a top secret case/something private, and ace doesn't tell emily and JJ because it isn't her secret to share (whatever it is can be up to you). it ends up taking most of her time and ends up being talked about a lot in dms and stuff, so she puts up a password, and sneaks out at night to talk about it, and comes home late/in the early hours of the morning. and emily and JJ just start overthinking it and yell at ace (who is obviously denying cheating because she isn't) and it blows into a proper argument and ace walks out/they take like a temporary break, and it feeds into their work lives. and because emily and JJ are so convinced that ace was cheating, they make little rude comments/shut her out completely. then they find out and it ends with a little fluff with lots and lots and lots of groveling and making it up to ace (Tumblr anon)
random idea for a future fic possibly that just came to mind: based on the grey's anatomy episode arc of the ferry crash (3x16-17) and meredith in the water. would love to see a similar take to ace in meredith's position. some sort of catastrophic bau case and everyone is busy and tending to their assigned areas. (in the episode meredith is accidentally kicked into water trying to help someone, gets caught and later admits she stopped fighting to get free) JJ notices Ace isn't around when they round up to leave and they frantically look around. When they see something of hers near a body of water Emily takes off without a second thought. Then it's very touch and go in the hospital as they need to get her body temp up. Maybe a sweet moment of JJ and Emily laying with her on the hospital bed to give her their body warmth. I saw another comment presenting an idea of memory loss so maybe to build on that, when Ace eventually wakes up- she mentally is back when she first joined the team. She remembers Emily and JJ but only as coworkers pre sleeping together. Only lasting a few hours to a few days but when she starts to regain memories the first thing can be calling Emily "Emmy" and seeking JJ's touch in a hug. This of course seems like a hugeee story so if it speaks to you in anyway, please just take the little bits desired. (Ssskeptical)
Existing Story Updates
Let Loose: drunken sex ch 2
When Desperation Strikes: Emily reacts to Ch 1 and how she gets back at JJ and Ace for that (EmilyJenniferJareauPrentiss)
Kisses prompt list
Kisses: From 3 perspectives. Emily, JJ and Ace being from time to time insecure about their scars and every time that happens one or two of them are there to comfort the third of them. Like kissing the scars and the insecurities away. (Tumblr lenolia03)
Kisses: You know when you’re squeezing someone trying to give them smooshy cheek kisses and they’re all squirmy and embarrassed and laughing so hard? Yeah, can we have some of those kisses - maybe with Henry? (Nerdy_mama)
Aftercare Requirements Epilogue: whether JJ and Ace, together, could (after a scene) give dom Emily the kind of aftercare that she gives them - the aftercare that she never received? (SSAScorpSik)
first time Emily acquiesced and let JJ dom her (SSAScorpSik)
A Need for Punishment: would love to see Ace talk to Emily and JJ about her having wanted to ask for a belt (thatonesritersstuff)
I’d love to see Emily and Ace get into an argument and instead of autopiloting to Em, JJ takes Ace’s side and it plays out that way. Especially since every time Ace is upset with one of them it becomes both of them, it’d be interesting to see the dynamic change (slowburnsapphic)
Emily is groveling to make up for the botched date (Ao3 Guest)
Could you maybe add on about scars? I remember in one of the stories (I believe it was in when past meets the present) JJ doesn’t like her scars being focused on, can you maybe write more about that? Either it being an insecurity or bringing up bad memories and her not wanting to talk about it but either just Ace or Ace and Emily push and wants to focus on it so JJ can heal in some way (Sam0214)
One Shots
JJ fighting hand to hand and being injured like s7 e15 end scene
Subdrop for JJ (Gay_4_women)
JJ subdrop, maybe she Em type them both but then Ace gets the focus of the aftercare (kind of like the reverse scenario of the ” Competing Sub Drops” chapter in difference kinds of firsts pt 1). and because JJ rarely even finds a subspace, let alone a drop, the angstier the better. Maybe it’s the first time she’s ever dropped at all. (Agentquakingskye)
Play on the therapy case where the unsub kills patients in exposure therapy based on patient’s worst fears
Ace’s darkness has been heavier than usual; one morning when she’s feeling good, she goes for a morning run and leaves a love note for emily and jj, but them being protective girlfriends means they jump to the worst case scenario. They freak out because ace accidentally forgot her phone in the apartment and is gone for like 2 hours (Tumblr anon)
Jealous/ posessive Ace. Maybe Emily has a man from her past that they have to work alongside of during a case and it brings something out in Ace/JJ that leads Ace comfortable enough to top Emily out of possessive jealousy (Tumblr anon)
Sergio is crossed the rainbow bridge or is at least getting up there in age and the older pair see how much the goats help so they go to a rescue to adopt a cat/dog for Ace that becomes basically an anxiety service animal without the label to help ground her if the two ever have to be on another long case without Ace. (Ravenslumber)
old friend or acquaintance comes back in Ace’s life and Emily and JJ immediately clock that person has feelings for Ace. Ace gets upset with their jealousy, they fight, but it turns out Emily and JJ were right (Tumblr Anon)
maybe a jealous JJ/Emily interfere with Ace and a friend, they argue about if JJ and Emily trust Ace, which sends Ace on a spiral on if she thinks it possible for their relationship to work. Maybe set a little earlier on in their relationship when Ace isn’t feeling as solid in the trio. (Tumblr anon)
‘Guess’ with billie eilish and charlii xcx as a little chapter inspiration (Tumblr fallingsleepingdreaming)
7x23 for the first time and was wondering if we could maybe get a rewrite of it but instead of will being the one in danger its ace and jj and emily are just needing to be held back and everything (Tumblr anon)
Times which Ace has surprised Emily & JJ in non-sexual contexts? (Tumblr anon)
#a03 writer#ace in the hole fic#cm fanfiction#jj x emily x ace#jemily x reader#emily prentiss x reader#jennifer jareau x reader#fic request
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This popped up on my dash and since you said that the conversation is open, I thought I would share my two cents, even if it might be stuff you are already familiar with and do yourself. I don't think I'm in the same fandoms as you but things mentioned here are observations made from multiple fandoms. Although I have been writing in AO3 instead of tumblr for the most part, my experience here comes from writing almost exclusively Steve Rogers longfics (mostly 50k+ words, 10+ chapters) from 2021. I don't claim to be super popular - I'm just reflecting on the relative differencies I have noticed in my engagement.
First of all, please don't quit a series just because it has been over a month. That's not a long time for an update at all! If you're writing fic, it's something you do on your free time without getting paid, so there's absolutely no reason at all to apologize life getting in the way.
From my own experience, I have to agree with the consistency and speed of updates being pretty big factors on engagement. I have noticed most reader engagement when I have been able to push out one or more update a week for multiple weeks straight. It helps people stay engaged with the story and invested when the story is fresh in their minds. But then again, I have gotten a lot of comments when coming back from a hiatus too so I think it's not the only factor at all.
Writing a lot, even if it's not the same series, helps keep one's fics on people's minds, and helps establish you as someone who writes X character (with a certain kind of characterization). I share sneak peeks sometimes, but that's just because I am too impatient to wait, they're not from 'marketing' standpoint. Personally I try to focus on writing and let the writing itself do the rest, but I do make a point to reply to comments and thank people, even if that is sometimes very delayed, so that they know I appreciate them. I also don't talk badly about my own writing, because as a reader, seeing someone do that can very easily turn me off from reading their story. (To be clear, I don't mean venting about the human frustrations of writing but publically calling your own stories bad etc.)
One of the big things for me as a reader and a writer is having multiple storylines going and having 'hooks' in the story, so to speak, so that the readers know what they're looking forward to when the story continues. Cliffhangers are the ultimate form of this but things like a character uncovering a partial piece of information that raises questions work too. I spend a lot of time establishing chemistry, both romantic and platonic, so that the readers have something to root for.
Then again, engagement always depends on the story. Some things do better than others. Sometimes I think a fic is going to be well-liked and it doesn't get much attention, sometimes a thing I thought was just pure self-indulgence gains a lot of reader interaction. Which brings me to my next point - I think that the writer's enjoyment bleeds through the story to readers; things that I have enjoyed writing the most are my most popular fics. And sometimes when I think I'll write some easy 'trope soup' that'll get a lot of interest, it's crickets. I think there's a lesson there for me.
I try to engage with people and be a part of fandom beyond writing. I read and comment other people's fics, I reblog stuff, I talk about everyday things and try to stay active even when I have no capacity to write (happens to us all). It helps foster a sense of community, and while it's not self-serving and I read and comment out of genuine enjoyment, ultimately being active in fandom and engaging with writing helps us all. It does feel like current fandom population doesn't comment as much as they used to, which is a shame. But I try to be the change I want to see in the world.
It's also worth noting that sometimes there are these 'lulls' in fandom where everyone is sort of quiet and busy with life, I assume. Like major holidays. They just happen, and the season will change again. Also, scheduled reblogs and comment replies help reach different sets of people.
Finally, focusing too much on the stats is a thing that for me is a road to madness that sucks all enjoyment out of writing. It is human to want engagement and look at the pretty numbers but again, what matters is the enjoyment you get from a story. Personally I have written a 250k longfic in a tiny niché that was commented regularly by one single person and occasionally by about five people. And I still love that fic to death and am so proud of myself for writing it.
That's my two cents, from my personal experience. As always, they should be taken with a grain of salt, and they might not be universally applicable. I wish you the best with writing and hope that the muses are kind to you.
Writers of multi-chapter fics:
How do you keep your readers engaged as the story gets longer?
I've heard from many, and seen it myself, that interaction drops significantly as the chapters accumulate (which I honestly do not even understand...hence why I'm asking this) but I've also seen a lot of writers who have quite lengthy fics where the engagement and excitement seems to stay consistent throughout.
They're receiving asks with comments and questions about the latest chapters, the reblogs are abundant compared to likes, and I'm just curious if there's anything anyone does differently to help maintain this other than just being a great writer 🤣 (which I'm realizing is probably the key thing and that there's nothing to do other than just be able to write a really good story which I'm clearly not haaaaa)
I've tried sharing snippets of upcoming chapters in the past and they've always fallen on their face, I've released chapter playlists, etc so I feel like from a "marketing" standpoint I've done what I can? And also as writers we shouldn't even have to work that hard to "promote" our fics considering people ask to be on taglists and what have you. (This is the site for sharing and ACTIVELY participating in fandom...)
It's been a struggle to keep myself motivated to finish up my series and I'm starting to wonder if there's even a point now that it's been over a month since I've updated (which I realize consistent updates are likely a huge factor as well 🙃 but, you know, life.)
Anyway. Thinking out loud here. Any advice/conversation is welcome! 💗
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it's almost 3AM but i finally, finally, finally managed to write a scene that's been keeping me stuck for like a whole year on a specific fic wip
of course, this is not the fic wip that i have a time limit for. but y'know, progress is progress i guess
#lucy's thoughts#it's a 6600 word chapter#so you will have a LOT to read when i update it#which will be uhhh#sometime this week probably#depending on. stuff
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(good future) Finding Home Pride edition <3
Trans Leo pride is something I see a lot, but personally, FH Leo wouldn't celebrate his gender. He grew up around Gali, who went through a lot of gender struggles, especially in his younger years, and with the brothers being so accepting, it's just another part of his life
But his lack of romantic attraction? That's something that stands out to him. He sees the brothers with their own attractions and crushes and such and realizes he stands out. He's different. But that's okay because he's still him and he's still valid
anyways~ it's pride month, which means i get to be even more annoying about aro pride ^-^
that final shot without text:
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leonardo#finding home au#aromantic#aromantism#aro pride#featuring future fh designs to give me more motivation to sketch the next update#might do something for agender pride later#gender is hard a system and we think its a fitting label for our system rather than just wren#cuz 'bana isnt a demiboy#but its a good flag so we usually just use that#although fh probably settles more on a demiboy label#he doesn think much of gender#but he prefers when people view him as something mroe masculine#<- a little bit of big mama trauma in that decision#as a treat <3#shoutout to csp for currupting this whole file when my laptop crashed#and recovering it yeeted a lot of progress#but hey#its done now :D#and i do like how it turned out#even if a few scars are missing but im tired and dont have the energy to fix it rn#tag wall oops#if you read this far down.. hello :D
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Doodles based on "Yet Another Nightmare" by Catroic on Ao3 (highly recommend reading, its very good)
#kris#ralsei#deltarune#i didn't really draw much kralsei but the fic has the pairing so...#kralsei#i read this cuddled up in bed and half asleep (as per how i normally read these things)#so when i got to (no spoilers) that one sequence it felt really surreal#i wanted to try and depict half of the feeling i got from it#whether i have done so is debatable buut this was still fun to draw#i didn't make ralsei angry enough in retrospect... am a coward...#sorry these are so messy lol#on one hand if i cleaned it up too much it would stop feeling like a dream#and on the other... just don't have time for a more clean work right now haha#i think that “on one hand/on other” figure of speech is used for comparing options and i just used it wrong#but >:) i do what it want; my figure of speech now#derailed a lot - highly reccomend reading this#and catroic's other works too actually#hy is a amazing writer and has lots of good works to check out if you have the time :D#tumblr compression is a bitch lol this looks soo much better on desktop than mobile for some reason#rare morning post from dawn woah#updated almost 24 hours later because i spelled “recommended” wrong and forgot to sign the image lol
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do you have any fic recs? thank you!
HELLO ANON I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO ANSWERING THIS ASK SINCE I GOT IT (im going to assume you mean byler fics since that is my most recent specialty🫶):
a cruel summer with you by the amazing @campbyler is by FAR one of my all time favorite fics. never in my entire four year fic reading career have i read something that obviously has so much love (and lore) put into it. if you haven’t read it already (or interacted with their blog, which i highly suggest!) this would be one of my first picks! (anything by suni or thea or andi is guaranteed to strike you speechless, though, so definitely check them out as authors, too!)
take a little moment (find the right words) by my lovely friend @astrobei is definitely also in my top all time bc i am SUCH a sucker for college aus it’s not even FUNNY. anything by suni is a banger, honestly, but this one specifically nails the miscommunication/idiots in love trope AND has rotund ducks. what is not to love.
a body in motion (also by @astrobei) is one of the best and most visceral mike character studies i have ever read. i’ve read it twice and the playlist has a permanent place in my spotify library. i don’t think i need to say any more.
sleeping with the lights on by singingseok is another mike character study that tore my heart from my chest and made me watch as it picked it apart and sewed it back together. okay. it’s SO good i highly recommend it for sure!
literally anything by @parkitaco is going to be fantastic, but three of my personal faves are the gaps and the silence, the windows of this love, and you were bigger than the whole sky because apparently i love sobbing into my pillow in the middle of the night. it’s healthy sometimes.
the strawberries are dying by my favorite doopel @lighthouseas is PERFECT if you’re looking for a unique take on byler with a historical spin <3 im a SUCKER for historical aus as well so this great depression fic was so incredibly perfect hehe
landslide by chamb3rs is. it’s so good i don’t even have words. it captures the spirit of senior year of high school so well, especially now that i’m in it lol. anyway, i’ve read this one twice and will continue to read it again for the rest of forever <3
and lastly, if you’re looking for spiderman aus (which i LOVE), look before you leap by lumism, the higher i climb, the farther i fall by @andiwriteordie, and mike wheeler’s guide to falling in love with a superhero by @smoosnoom are all wonderful perfect places to start 💗
i hope this gives you a good place to start anon :3 and also that im not overwhelming you. lol. but feel free to check out my bookmark page here for a more complete list of fics i’ve read!
#there are so many more great authors and fics out there btw. i just felt like this was already ridiculously long.#im realizing now what a suni astrobi fangirl i am. and im not sorry.#ANYWAYS i only recently started making my bookmarks public since i was so Scared before#so i will be updating it when i have time w more little comments so you can get a better idea of things to read!#also if i tagged you when you didn’t want to be tagged i sincerely apologize </3#pov you’re a nerd and have so much to say about what fics you’ve read and you also love your friends and their works and -#yeah. okay. this is making me love the byler community a lot again. maybe i WILL start that side blog for fic rec fridays#BASICALLY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY i’ll shut up now 💗#🫧🪴#asks#💌#anon !!#wayli’s fic recs
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sooooo... *twirls her hair* how many asks should i send until kuwagami art. jk as well. the real question will be: does it happen often that someone else’s art inspires you? in fandom spaces specifically
well you see it’s like a loyalty card program, every 10 asks or so you get a complimentary kuwagami
just kidding you can just breathe in my direction and I’ll be tempted to draw them. kuwagami blast! (you've caught me on a... just okay art day lol)
(people still like kabedons, right?)
anyway for my actual answer: in terms of direct inspiration, it doesn't really happen much? the last two times i did art directly based on someone else's work is probably this one from this fic, and also that time i drew art of someone else's judgment au. oh! and there's that moriohpsycho art based on this comic! (filthyguts' work is so very. hgngngghh. very good.) nothing else really comes to mind, and when i think of the other things i've been into recently there hasn't been as much opportunity for that to happen...
flex and herds = strong fixation but lmao. almost nobody else made stuff about them. nobody is surprised umineko = surprisingly i don't read much umineko fanfiction? and in terms of illustration, i certainly picked up imagery and indirect inspiration but nothing concrete enough for me to give an example... now that i think about it, i did once draw andromalius from redaction/sunny, but that was years ago, and also mostly because i was acquainted with the writer. ...i don't have that artwork on hand right now death note = didn't really get involved with the fandom + i enjoyed my own ideas well enough! ...i can't recall if i drew long-hair-L art before or after seeing other artists do it. and as for everything else the same kind of reasoning applies. didn't really get involved with the fandom or wasn't really compelled to make art in response to stuff i saw, or i just don't remember anymore.
buuuuuuut if we're opening this up to just... pulling ideas from other people? then yeah, all the time, though that kind of goes without saying when you have a creative hobby. ...it's probably going to be hard to come up with examples of this since it's more ambiguous.
there's uhhhhhh... kuwana listens to nickelback which was a @/four-white-trees invention, wasn't it? (EDIT: and @/overdevelopedglasses!) (not tagging in this post so he doesn't feel obligated to read my big ass ask responses 💀) as of writing this, it's not posted but i did end up making kuwagami art based on a nickelback song so. yknow. there's that LMAO
for sawashiro and arakawa, i do sometimes go reference @/todayisafridaynight 's art to help me with my own. ("how did he draw this part of the suit? oh, like that huh? hmm" <- this kind of thing)
and um. i'm not trying to pander to you (at least not this time), but genuinely it's one of the few examples that come to mind at this moment. but when i was writing my first kuwagami fic, i could feel the influence of the ever-changing on my brain... was turning over some of your ideas there...
you remember this? (you even pointed it out in your comment on my fic, and i should've said something then, but whatever i'm saying it now)
that was absolutely because of this
(obligatory poke at anybody else reading this post that you can read passthroughtime's fic here.)
so, um. yeah. not really sure what else to add to that. pretty self evident i think. (i'm always talking about the ever-changing but i don't think i can overstate the impression it left on me at the time)
anyhow there aren't really any other examples off the top of my head! these are all recent examples so they're not so difficult to recall, but there are probably others i've forgotten...
#jitxt#started writing this unsure if i could give many examples and i ended up with more than i expected. nice!#sunny is a very good piece of umineko writing and i should reread it with the author's notes toggled on. and also read redaction#“shouldn't you have read redaction first” n-no. shut up! (besides i think renall said it was fine)#nobody remind me of that 20k note post that's just an uncredited screenshot of sunny. it'll piss me off#as cosmic balance i ought to shill sunny as much as possible#anyway uhhhhhh. the everchanging.#i am awful about receiving compliments (i never know how to respond aside from a rehearsed “thank you”) but i sure am great at giving them!#apologies if i'm laying it on too thick but#1. i am being truthful and#2. i figure it's reparations for all the time i spent as a lurker on the kuwagami ao3 tag#the explosion in my brain when i realised that “the nice person who leaves lots of tags on my kuwagami art”#and “the person who wrote that REALLY FUCKING GOOD FIC” were one and the same. crazy. and now we are mutuals ❤#it is a little funny thinking of when i'd read your and four-white-trees' work before meeting you#real life foreshadowing for me meeting you both....#i still have these discord messages of me telling a friend about both your works#basically: (reading an update to the everchanging) wow that was depressing (reading a joke in four-white-trees' fic) nevermind i'm good now#i ought to reread the everchanging and take detailed notes on all the parts i like#just so you know your impact on my brain lol#kuwana calling yagami a pretty boy and meaning it sincerely oh my GOD. rewired my brain
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