#so you get a freebie today
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#outdoor pool#pool#i accidentally posted that last one instead of adding it to the queue#so you get a freebie today#don't discount my generosity
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This 4th of July I’m stealing the patriotism euphoria that’s usually associated with assholes idolizing the worst attributes of this country because fuck ‘em I live here too and remembering the things this country actually got Right is an important exercise when trying to rally anyone to want to defend it in November SO putting my money where my mouth is I’ll start easy and say I really like National Parks!! It’s rad how many of them there are and how they’re actual set up to preserve some of the most beautiful wild areas in our country while still letting people visit to enjoy and experience nature!! (Less important but I love how they put national parks on the quarters I think that’s real fun)
Feel free to add on if something speaks to ya!
#The hypothesis I’m testing here is that remembering there are good things now and then can combat apathy a little bit#and this is the one day of the year where everyone has a free pass to say nice things about the US so!#some other fun freebies:#public libraries are really cool!! Love visiting them and I should do that way more#bit of a funnier one but I think our interstate highways are really nice#like I’d love trains too but it’s really cool how you can travel the whole country relatively easily like it’s all pretty connected#I love how women have equal rights! We’re backsliding a little right now which is why it’s so important to latch onto this now!#I love how we don’t have a draft- this one might point to some other issues in the country#but at least from a surface level it’s great that military service isn’t mandatory#If you aren’t in the US and still want to play go for it!#today I’m encouraging everyone to pick at least one little positive thing they like#and then down the line if you’re wondering why voting matters at all#maybe remember that little thing y’know#Do it for the national parks and the libraries and gay marriage and stuff#humming-rambles#anyways that’s my social experiment for the day hope y’all get to see some fun fireworks later!
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healing from brain damage is definitely the worst injury ive ever had to heal from so far 😞 this shit is so difficult yall
#tiny bit of my long med history for context:#i have broken my collarbone#i have had my face mauled by a dog where i had to Literally Physically tear it off my face#it locked its jaw around my nose and upper lip#i got like 10 stitches and they had to super glue my nose back together#but uhhhhhh#i got a concussion as a kid that went untreated because our healthcare system is so underfunded and understaffed#and that turned into what the doctors call ''functional nausea and vomiting disorder''#then on monday i got another concussion at work#and holy shit.#second-impact syndrome is a BITCH#im in so much pain if i use my brain at all#hey other dissociative people: you've dissociated from your body but have you ever had to dissociate from your brain?#or is this what being forcefully locked at the front and locked out of headspace feels like?#i think this might be worse though because i cant think at allllllllllllllllllllll#i get delirious if i try 😔#this is so hard#i sobbed in the shower over it for like 30 minutes today lol#i had to sit down in the middle of my shower and it was so hard yall#im trying to hard not to spiral#being vulnerable and putting this on my main instead of hiding it on one of my many many sideblogs#(jsyk if youve read this far then youre allowed to ask me what my active sideblogs are. dms and asks are open)#(@queerlyneurotic is one of my vents and where i usually put sad shit. you get a freebie for reading this.)
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is there really only three versions for cosmic (including the smini vers) ??? sm truly does not gaf abt reve it's so obvious
#meanwhile aespa gets like 9 diff versions every comeback#and the dreamies also had like 5 diff versions of their last album like 😫😫 sm would it KILL you to actually invest in your older groups#PLSSS#anyway the album's so pretty but idk if i should buy some bc of the ai art 🙄🙄#i almost bought the chill kill album with the bag today but i saw it was the silver version and unfortunately i think#that one looks like those freebies they used to give you in little girl magazines growing up#but alas 🤭#000
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free resources to write a novel in 2024
hello hello! it's me, rach!
as the new year approaches, many of us set goals and resolutions - myself included. one of my goals for 2024 is to write a novel (I've been procrastinating on this for quite a long time now). i assume that some of you might have the same goal, that's why I'm writing this post today.
over 2023 i've been releasing some freebies for authors just like me, so I thought I could compile my favorites in this post. hope you find this useful :)
1) the writer's workbook
this workbook has over 60 exercises to help you develop characters, scenarios, etc. if you're ever stuck, I'm pretty sure this workbook will be your best friend.
2) author's corner (notion template)
this is the most downloaded freebie in my shop! it is a notion dashboard with everything you need to organize your writing and has some templates included (like scrivener)!!
3) another notion template
this one has two themes you can choose from: cottage-core and dark academia. they're very similar to the previous template, but this one is more recent and I added some new features. feel free to explore both and pick the one you like the most.
4) the author's journal
this is a cute printable with 20 pages that will help you stay on track and manage your social media accounts as a writer who shares their work online. you can also register what you're currently writing and your personal research and resources.
5) plan your book printable
this is a 6-page printable for you to fill out and plan your book easily and effectively.
6) excel sheet to organize tasks & word-count
this is a simple excel sheet, but it is very effective for keeping track of your tasks & word-count of your novels. also, it is 100% customizable to your liking!
that's all for now! feel free to explore my gumroad shop where I have plenty of freebies to grab! also, don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss any opportunity to get a goodie for free :)
hope this post was useful!
have a nice day,
rach
#writing resources#writing#writeblr#writer tips#writing advice#writing help#writing tips#poetsandwriters#resources#research#wattpad#nanowrimo#creative writing#writerscommunity#writers#writing inspiration#writing prompts#writing reference#writerslife#writersofinstagram#software#inspiration#writing inspo#for writing#for writers#for whoever needs it#writing research#researching#we love an useful post#useful
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JIAOQIU DRABBLE
summary. herbalist reader x jiaoqiu tw. fem!reader, cursing, some pov changes, art by hoki11. (the lack of jiaoqiu fic is criminal), not proof read.
"What got you so happy, JIAOQIU?" The lacking general question her retainer. He seemed happier than usual, his smile seeming more genuine.
Said foxian tilt his head in faux confusion at his boss' question, "Mmh? Do I now?"
"Yes. And it's unnerving since your cooking. Don't tell me you added more spice?" The shadow guard frown at the thought. He only saw his colleague smile this widely when he tricked the food.
Jiaoqiu gasped. Clasping his heart, he put on a hurt face while sighing dramatically, "How could you! And here I thought we were friends. You truly wound me Moze..."
"Cut it out." Moze deadpanned while Feixiao could only laugh.
Well, the two of them were right. Jiaoqiu was indeed happier than usual, he thank the sweet lady he met earlier this evening. He ponders when he should meet her again. Perhaps he should bring along a gift or two.
JIAOQIU wanders along the streets of the Luofu in search of a herbs-selling shop nearby. He has been wandering for a few system hours now. Yet none sold the plant he so desperately need. He sighed in defeat, deciding to retreat for now. Maybe he would find it some other time.
That was how it should've gone.
Until his eyes caught onto a discreet shop. 'Herbs & Help'. It seemed like he missed out on one shop, Jiaoqiu was sceptical. He had been searching for awhile, leaving with more disappointment one after the other. But he suppose one more wouldn't hurt him.
Opening the door, the scent of herbs and spices welcomed him. His ears twitched at the sounds coming from the backdoor. Murmurs and curses could be faintly heard. He stopped at the counter filled with bags each containing different herbs. Jiaoqiu looked at the shelf presented in front of him, searching for the herb he needs.
"Fucking aeons, the back gets messier the more I go back to it—" the voice stops as the sight of the healer settles into the shop owner's mind. "Oh..Oh! Hello! Welcome, um, I'm y/n, how can I help you today?"
The woman looked dishevelled. Leaves sticking to her hair, dirt smeared her cheeks and her outfit. Nonetheless, Jiaoqiu smiles at the lady. "Hello, I'm looking for a herb—Goldenseal? I was wondering if you had any in stocks." Jiaoqiu waited for the expected 'No, sorry' or 'we ran out'.
"Oh! Goldenseal? I think I have some left in stock let me see." the young lady perked up at the familiar name, nodding at the gentleman before going back into the mess that is the storing room.
To say the foxian healer was surprised would be an understatement. To think a barely noticeable shop was the end of his endless search was a welcomed surprised.
The fox hummed as he looked around. The shop seemed well kept. The herbs looking to be of high quality, he was right to stop by.
Just as he was inspecting the plants, a loud crash echoed from the back.
A moment pass before Jiaoqiu asks, "Is everything alright back there? Do you need help?" More crashes were heard —with the young man wincing at every sound— before the lady comes back.
"Sorry. it's a bit of a mess back there. Here is your herb Mister, er.."
"JIAOQIU." the doctor smiled.
You blinked at the man. 'Jiaoqiu...' you noticed it before, but the man was very attractive. Embarrassment crept up your neck as you recalled the state you were in. Quickly and discreetly (though you failed at the second part.), you tried to tidy yourself up. If the man noticed, he didn't say a word about it.
"Right, Mister JIAOQIU. Here are your herbs, I added extra as an apology for the disastrous meeting." you nervously chuckled. Jiaoqiu chuckled in response, you were cute.
"Won't it be bad for your business? Giving out freebies just because of a first meeting?" he tilted his head, awaiting your answer.
Not if it's for a pretty man like you.
"Why thank you." his tail was wagging slightly, his ears twitching slightly.
Your eyes widen as the realization struck you. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" The nod from the foxian was all you needed to start digging up a hole to crawl into. You melted into the floor, heat rushing to your cheeks, you only let your eyes peeking out from below the counter. "The herbs will be 3000 credits please."
Jiaoqiu was amused at your state. You were honestly so adorable. With your soft voice and your eyes looking anywhere but his. He was interested in you. (Or well your reactions.)
He put down the credits, leaning over the counter so he was towering you in your crouched position. "Thank you for the herbs, you really saved me." He opened his eyes to stare at your own, the both of you shared a moment before he winked and stood tall once again,
"See you around, cutie." And with that he left (Though the wagging of his tail told you he left in a content state.).
"Fuck his voice was hot."
While you were melting behind the counter, JIAOQIU was already looking forward to the next time he'll visit your shop.
EXTRA ;
"So will you tell us why you were so happy earlier?" Feixiao questioned once more. Her curiosity wouldn't be sated until she learns the true reason for her retainer's giddiness. The foxian could only hum, his hands expectedly prepping the ingredients for the hot pot, a smile seemingly forever etched in his face. "Well for one, I found the herb I've been looking for," ("The ones you looked all over the Luofu and Yaoqing for?" Moze inquired. He received a nod in return.) "and I may have met a cutie who saved me the hassle of searching all over again." Moze and Feixiao exchanged glances. Seemed like their healer was infatuated with someone. If the still wagging tail was any more of an obvious sign
©—jingyuqn. do not repost, translate or copy my work. 2024.
#✎. *. ⋆ writing.#honkai star rail x reader#jiaoqiu x reader#moze x reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr x y/n#hsr x fem reader#honkai star rail#honkai star rail jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu#moze#hsr moze#hsr jiaoqiu#hsr feixiao#feixiao#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x y/n
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~ 🐉🌸 family visits a convenience store ~
It's a quite day at 7 11. The cashier is bored out of his wits. So bored in fact, that he'd rather serve a dozen customers today than serve no one at all.
*Kring*
Ah, the seven have answered his prayers.
"Good day--"
That's one huge customer.
No, no, he isn't exaggerating. That guy must be seven feet tall; he has to duck just to enter through the door. The cashier can't help but quake a little. His mom taught him not to judge a book by its cover and a person by their appearance, but he's met enough crazy people that he developed a sort of fear for anyone who looks remotely unlike your average salaryman. And this guy. Is dressed in all black. With horns on top of his head. He practically leaks out danger from each one of his pores.
A... A goat beastman?
Wait... Horns? Tall? Terrifying? Isn't he that famous--
"Papa, chicken!"
Oh, the man has a kid. At least the cashier could rest easy that he wouldn't attack with a child in his arms.
"No! Papa I want fries!"
Another one. The little girl was clutched in his left hand.
"Sausage!" A shrill voice shouted. It's a little boy hanging on his back.
The store chimes ring again. This time three kids come rushing over, each one shouting their requests while grabbing onto the man's legs to catch his attention.
"We just ate. We are only here for drinks." The man answers, leaning down and trying to grab as many kids as he could in his hold.
The guy has six kids?!
The chimes ring again. This time, another (this time grown) customer, who's carrying a newborn, comes in. Another kid who has an awfully similar hair color with the huge guy is tagging along them.
"Grab whatever drinks you like and bring them to the counter. We need to get to the airport soon! Do you want to miss out on Mr. Mickey because we arrived at bedtime?" The new customer orders them; with an evident tiredness, but a patient sweetness that of a doting parent.
They have eight kids.
When the guy stalks over to the counter to pay for his family's drinks. The cashier rings them up, and then, gathering all the courage and goodwill he has in his heart, sprinkled in a few more freebies in the man's bags.
"Sir," The cashier forces a smile, "Thank you for your patronage. I added a few bonus items as a... promo."
The man smiles appreciatively. He doesn't seem so scary up close. "Oh? What are these?"
They're boxes. Six boxes of free contraceptives.
"Boxes of candies?" The man asks curiously, "Why thank you. We will be sure to visit again when we get the chance." He flashes a polite smile before turning back to his... little family.
The guy doesn't know what condoms are.
That explains things.
#LMAO randomly thought of this while at 7 11#twisted wonderland#ventique rambles#malleus draconia#malleus x reader
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the perks of having a hot best friend
pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader
genres: fluff, crack, mild angst, best friends to lovers, college au
wc: 14336
warnings: profanity, sexual jokes, jeno is shirtless in a scene phew, too many idol features SORRY i lowk lost track of who i’ve included. i think that is all but lmk if you find something else!
summary: having a hot best friend is nice until you start getting butterflies in your stomach every single time you look at them.
note: JAEYUNVERSE COMEBACK WOOO i’ve missed writing long fics so much omfg but i’m shitting bricks as we speak LOL it’s been a while since i’ve posted something big and i won’t lie i’m hella nervous. i rlly hope you guys enjoy this fic ♡ please don’t hesitate to give me your feedback! here’s to hoping my writing skills haven’t become as rusty as i think i have hehe :’))
masterlist
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐒 !
01. an abundance of freebies and discounts
Lee Jeno knew the power his smile held.
All it took was one flirty laugh combined with those sleepy eyes of his for people to melt. Being the resourceful person you were, you utilised that talent of his to its full extent.
“Can you go and flirt with the cashier so she gives us a free muffin?”
Your best friend gave you a dirty look. “You do realise this is supposed to be your treat, right?”
“I am paying!” you exclaimed. “Just go do your thing and make her feel generous enough to slip a free dessert in our order.”
Jeno rolled his eyes, but you knew you’d won. You almost always did. “Fine, whatever. You owe me one though.”
“I’m feeding you because I owe you one,” you pointed out. “This makes us equal.”
“How riveting. I have to work so the person who owes me doesn’t have to owe me anymore.”
“We can argue about this for hours or you can haul ass to the counter and place the damn order. I’ll Venmo you the money the moment you’re back,” you promised.
Sliding out of the booth, Jeno said, “You’re lucky you’re cute. If this were Jaemin, I wouldn’t be letting him off the hook easily.”
You stuck your tongue out at him and shooed him away. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along.
“Hey!” you cried. “Don’t take me with you! The flirting won’t have any effect on her if she thinks we’re together!”
“Everyone thinks we’re together,” Jeno muttered and got in line behind an old man. “She checked me out when we entered the cafe, saw you arm-in-arm with me and gave you the dirtiest look to ever exist.”
You snorted. “Liar. You might be an eye candy but you do not command such a high level of attention.”
“I’m telling the truth!” he argued. “I would know because I was checking out the drink she placed on the counter. I was trying to figure out what the person’s order might have been to get something so incredibly delicious-looking. I saw her out of the corner of my eye.”
“Oh.” You frowned and took a step forward when the line moved ahead. “That’s unfortunate. Should we go to another cafe and try our hand at getting something free there?”
“How about you stop being such a cheap skate for once?”
Slapping his shoulder hard, you grumbled, “I have to bear the weight of my goddamn rent alone while you share yours with three others! I need to cut down on certain things, asshole.”
“My offer to move in with you next semester still stands.” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m a really good housemate; ask the others.”
“You live with boys. The disgusting things you do don’t bother them because they do them too.”
He closed his mouth and thought about it for a second. Then, “Touché.”
You rolled your eyes, but before you could make another snarky comment, a pleasant voice interrupted, “Good morning. What can I get for you today?”
Jeno averted his gaze to the girl standing behind the counter and let a lazy smile take form on his lips. You raised a brow and watched in amusement.
“Hey there. Can I get a Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino with 1 pump caramel syrup, 1 pump hazelnut syrup, and 1 pump toffee-nut syrup? Java chips too, please.”
The girl—Lia, according to her name tag—looked surprised to see him blatantly flirting with you right beside him. Maybe he was right about every stranger assuming the two of you to be together, though you couldn’t fathom why. “O—okay.”
“What do you want, friend?” Jeno stressed the last word. Refraining to roll your eyes a second time, you said,
“Iced coffee without milk. Could you add some sugar to the brew? I prefer my drinks to be sweet.”
“Of course,” she said and nodded once, unfazed even after learning of Jeno’s status as an eligible bachelor.
Snorting under your breath, you whispered to him, “Lia doesn’t give a fuck. You’re lacking.”
He scoffed and nudged you away. “No, I’m not,” he whisper-snapped. “Get out of here. You’re killing my vibe.”
You deadpanned and gave him a don’t-bullshit-me look but retreated to your booth nonetheless. The last thing you heard Lia ask was: “Anything else?”
You’d only been sitting and scrolling through your phone for a few minutes before a hand slapped a receipt on the table in front of you.
Glancing up, you inquired, “What?”
“Read the order.”
Dropping your gaze to the piece of paper again, you picked it up. An appreciative frown tugged at your lips as Jeno slid into his seat. “You managed to get us a free muffin and a free bagel?”
“Don’t ever question my talents again,” he ordered and leaned back. Resting his arm on the cushion behind him and placing his ankle on his knee, his attitude was nothing short of a king’s. “I won’t tolerate any further slander.”
“Uh-huh,” you muttered, utterly unimpressed. Though you admit, a smile threatened to break out on your face and you had to bite your lip to keep it from escaping.
Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. All you did was stare at him, and when he realised you wouldn’t budge, he did an extremely horrible and high-pitched imitation of you that should have deserved jail. “Thank you sooooooo much, Jeno! If it weren’t for your flirting skills, I wouldn’t have anything to eat. You’re my one and only saviour, and I don’t know what I would have done without—”
“Order for Jeno!” Lia hollered.
Said-boy flinched and clutched his heart with his hand. “What the… That was quick.” Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to you, the tips of his ears red and his face flushed. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. Venmo me the bill amount.”
You snickered and watched him get up. However, before he could move out of earshot, you called his name. “Thank you for your service.”
Jeno glanced at you over his shoulder and did nothing but observe you for a moment. Then, a lopsided grin took form on his lips and he mock saluted.
“You’re welcome.”
02. gives good boy advice
“What are you doing here?”
Pushing past you, Jeno strolled into your living room and plopped down on your sofa. “Is that any way to greet your best friend?”
You rolled your eyes and closed the front door. Sitting down beside him, you placed your laptop on your lap again and resumed going through your notes. “I’m being serious. Were we supposed to hang out today? Because I cannot. I still have three finals left.”
“No, we didn’t have any plans today,” he said, peering over your shoulder to check what subject you were studying. It was Economics. Horrible memories from the previous semester resurfaced and he shuddered before continuing, “Your text said you wanted to talk about something important?”
You paused and glanced at him. “So you came over?”
“Do you want me to leave?” Jeno frowned. “I thought it would be better to talk in person.”
He stood up and dusted himself off. Eyes widening, you grabbed his wrist and forced him back to his original position. “That’s not what I meant! I do want to talk to you but—it’s weird. I don’t feel like dealing with whatever has happened right now and I’m getting second thoughts about asking you for advice.”
Concern seeped into Jeno’s face. “Woah, are you okay? You don’t have to explain anything right now. Just tell me one thing: do I need to beat anyone up? I’ve got a few gym buddies who are ripped.”
You huffed a laugh and placed your laptop on the coffee table. Crossing your legs, you turned to face him. Upon watching you get comfortable, your best friend rolled his shoulders back and did the same thing.
“Before I say anything, I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me. Or call me an idiot.”
“I won’t,” he answered immediately, though he wondered what issue warranted you to require his word.
Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “YangYang asked me out a few days ago. I’ve always liked him, but not in a way that’s not platonic. I fucked up and instead of rejecting him right there, I asked him for some time to think it over and kinda led him to believe that I would say yes.”
Jeno raised an eyebrow. “How?”
“I told him he’s my type,” you mumbled, cringing at the memories that came rushing back.
“What?!” he exclaimed. “How the hell did you manage to do that?”
“I don’t know!” you whined and buried your face in your hands. “He came up to me when I was in the library and asked if we could talk! I didn’t know he was going to drop such a bomb on me so I said yes. Then he started talking about how he’s always cherished our friendship and how he’s so glad to have me.
“I started suspecting where his train of thought was headed when he added a but to his sentence. He said he’s liked me for a while now and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. I was flabbergasted once he was done! I’ve always viewed him as a good friend and I didn’t want to just turn his heart down!”
“So you told him he was your type?” Jeno asked incredulously. “I know I promised to not call you an idiot but you’re really fucking stupid, Y/N! It’s going to be hella awkward when the group meets up!”
You groaned and closed your eyes shut, letting yourself fall on your back. “That’s not even the worst part.”
Jeno grabbed your wrists and hauled you back up. His face was barely a few inches away from yours when he ordered, “Explain.”
Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I told YangYang that he was cute and my type but I wasn’t in a position to think about going out with anyone with still two weeks of finals left to get through. I thought he would drop it but he asked me if I would think about his confession after our exams and I felt terrible telling him the truth. So I said I would. Yeji called me last night and said she set me up on a blind date with this guy in her class. You know how fast word spreads here. YangYang is going to know I dangled him on strings only to go on a date with someone else!”
“You’re going on a blind date? With whom?”
You flicked Jeno’s forehead. “That’s not the issue!”
“Well, I want to know!” he sputtered and slapped your hand away.
“I don’t know! Frankly, I don’t care either. I made a bet with Yeji and I lost. Now I have to spend an evening with a random guy I don’t even want to seek a romantic relationship with.”
Your best friend sighed in frustration. “This might be one of your biggest fuck-ups till now.”
“I know,” you said quietly and dropped your gaze to your lap in shame.
“You’ll have to apologise to YangYang and tell him the truth. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
“I know.”
“Hey,” Jeno said softly. You glanced at him to see he’d gotten up and was holding his out for you. “Come here.”
You rose to your feet and let him envelop you in his comforting embrace. Burying your face in his chest, you whispered, “I never wanted to hurt YangYang. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”
“You won’t as long as you come clean and explain everything. Don’t insult him further by giving him more half-truths. Guys would rather know what’s the real deal than be lied to and find out from someone else. Not only is it hurtful, but it’s a huge blow to the ego.”
Your lips curled in a small smile and you leaned back a little to look at his face. “Is this about your mom lying to you about the tooth fairy?”
“Damn right it is,” he grumbled. “I gave an entire speech about her being my favourite person in the whole world. That’s not something you recover from easily.”
“It’s been 15 years.”
“It’ll take me another 15 to come to terms with the fact that I used to rip my loose teeth out and place them under my pillow when I needed money urgently.”
You laughed and pulled yourself out of his arms. “I can’t believe I’m taking guy advice from you.”
“Why?” Jeno exclaimed. “I’m a guy too! Plus, I always give good advice!”
You giggled and plopped down on the sofa again. “I know. But you’re also Jeno. I’ve never thought of you as just a guy.”
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”
“How about you sit your ass down and help me study now that you’re here? I made flash cards.”
Snatching the stack from your hand, Jeno teased, “Oh, how would you survive without me?”
“I don’t have to wonder about that shit.” You grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me anytime soon.”
He laughed. “And thank fuck for that.”
03. hugs always make you feel safe thanks to all the beef underneath
You were going to drag Jeno to the seventh circle of Hell.
You couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping with him when you had a huge exam the next day. You hadn’t studied shit and were one “have you prepared for tomorrow’s final?” away from a mental breakdown.
It didn’t help that Yeji had called you in the middle of the night to clear a doubt she had from a chapter you didn’t even know had been covered.
You’d been panicking ever since and it felt like you were going to get a heart attack at any moment.
“Doritos or Lays?”
“Kick to the nuts or knuckles to the jaw?”
Your best friend tore his gaze from the rack of chips and eyed you warily. “I said I’ll help you study tonight.”
“You don’t understand, Jeno!” you exclaimed and ran a hand through your messy hair, pacing in the supermarket aisle impatiently. “I’m going to fail! Fail!”
Groaning, Jeno grabbed your arm and forced you to face him. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, enunciating each word as he reiterated, “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to pull an all-nighter in the library, but we need to be stocked up on food before we do that.”
You sighed painfully. It burned your eyes to just focus on anything—how the hell were you supposed to stay awake for another day and write a three-hour-long exam after that?
“You could have come here without dragging me with you,” you muttered. “I could have been studying at home instead of wasting precious time.”
Jeno frowned. “Any more time in front of your laptop and you would have gone insane, Y/N. Your eyes are completely red.”
“Oh, that’s not because of the screen time. I cried before you came to check on me.”
Huffing a small laugh that bordered on exasperation, amusement and worry, Jeno threw a few packets of Doritos in the shopping cart before slinging an arm around your neck. You let him pull you against him and wrapped your arms around his waist as the two of you began walking.
“Well, you needed to get out anyway. I don’t remember the last time I saw you leave your apartment.”
“I stepped outside yesterday to play with the neighbour’s cat,” you said defensively.
“Not good enough,” Jeno popped. “We’re going to go get a massage once we’re done shopping.”
You stopped in your tracks and peeled yourself away from him. “The final is in twenty-eight hours!” you yelled, staring at him incredulously. “Are you fucking stupid?!”
“So you have plenty of time to de-stress before you start studying again!” he chirped, paying no heed to your concerns nor the people who had heard your outburst and were giving you odd looks. “Trust me, I went for a massage before my final and I was so relaxed. It helped me to focus too.”
“Jeno,” you uttered his name with barely contained impatience. “I don’t have time. I need to cover a lot of shit before I go and sit in the fucking examination hall.”
“And I said I’ll help!” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated. Pushing the shopping cart forward again, he studied the shelves and continued, “You always do this, Y/N. You freak out before a test and act like the world is ending only for you to do super well.”
“Well—” you began, stumbling after him— “that’s just my coping mechanism! The more worried I am, the better I do. But I’m screwed for real this time!”
“No,” Jeno popped, placing a 2-litre bottle of Sprite in the cart. “I’m not listening to you this time. Especially not after you stayed awake for three days straight for your midterm.”
You sighed again. There was no arguing with your best friend. “How long is this massage of yours going to take?”
“We’ll be back at your place in two hours max,” he reassured you, patting your head. You swatted his hand away and gave him a dirty look. “I think we have everything we need to make it through today and tomorrow.”
“Why do we need such a big bottle of Sprite?”
“Party at my place this weekend. There’s a discount so I’m buying in advance.”
You frowned. “Shouldn’t you be stocking up on booze?”
“The guys said I have an alcohol addiction,” Jeno said, getting in line at the billing counter. “Which is, like, totally untrue but you know I never back down from a challenge. I’m going to prove them wrong by staying sober for two weeks.”
“Sure,” you snorted. “You’ll just find lame loopholes or cheat when no one’s looking.”
A sly grin took form on Jeno’s lips. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and drawled, “I know what you do when no one’s looking.”
“Really?” You feigned a gasp. “You know I sneak over to your house and steal your food when you’re not there?”
His smile dropped immediately. “Wait, what? That’s you? Not Hyuck?”
“The food thief is me but the one stealing your sheet masks is Hyuck,” you admitted.
“He steals my masks?! The ones I buy are expensive as fuck!” Jeno exclaimed, betrayal seeping into his features. His hands fell to his side and his eyes turned distant. “I can’t believe he’s been gaslighting me into thinking I do an extra round of skincare when I’m drunk.”
You giggled and pushed the shopping cart forward once the person in front of you was done. Placing the contents on the billing counter for the cashier to scan, you revealed, “Hyuck saw me raiding your pantry when you were at the gym. He used that as leverage against me for weeks before I saw him stealing your sheet masks and was able to finally strike a deal—he turns a blind eye to my robberies and I turn a blind eye to his.”
“Why’d you team up with him?” Jeno pouted. “I thought we were best friends.”
You laughed incredulously. “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on? Not the part where Hyuck and I used your stuff without asking?”
“Well, yeah, I’m pissed you used my shit. But I guess I’m just a little more bothered that you guys teamed up,” Jeno said and shrugged, fetching his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Because, you know, coming together to make people suffer has always been our thing.”
You raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by how he was beating around the bush. “Are you saying you wanna team up with me to get back at Hyuck?”
Jeno grinned. “I’m gonna screw over that motherfucker so bad. You get off the hook, though, because you’re cute and I need your help.”
“You’re impossible.” You huffed and shook your head. Taking the bag of groceries, you said to him, “Text me my share and I’ll Venmo the money to you.”
“You could buy me an ice cream instead.”
“No,” you denied immediately. “We’re not wasting time on ice cream. Massage and then straight home so I can pick up my study material and we can leave for the library.”
Thankfully, Jeno didn’t protest. He drove you to your apartment complex and waited for you while you packed your bag. Then, the two of you were off to the massage place.
An hour later, you were done and forced to admit that the massage had indeed helped you. It felt like all the stress had left your body. Thinking about the final didn’t make you want to cry anymore and things were actually looking up now that you were rested.
You were able to retain the knowledge better and it was easier to understand the concepts. Jeno quizzed you and provided you with an endless supply of coffee throughout the night.
Right before lunch the next day, however, the panic resurfaced as you were revising your syllabus for the last time before your final at 3. You couldn’t seem to remember anything you had studied the previous night.
You could feel another breakdown coming, but before you could hyperventilate, Jeno scooped you up in his arms.
You hadn’t even realised when he’d come back from picking up your food. One minute, you were trying to control your breath and the next, your face was buried in his hard chest.
You held onto his shirt as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and he rocked you from side to side.
“Shh, don’t cry,” he mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “You’re gonna ace the final like you always do. You were able to answer all the quiz questions, so keep in mind that you are prepared. The pre-exam anxiety is just clouding your thoughts. Everything’s gonna come back to you when you sit down to write, alright?”
Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and bit down on your lip to keep a sob from escaping. Jeno’s presence kept acting like a tether for you. It always had.
Maybe he was right about the final. Maybe he wasn’t. But at that moment, engulfed in his warm, safe embrace, it felt like everything was going to be okay.
𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 !
01. having to deal with a narcissistic asshole.
It was an especially sweltering day.
You were being baked inside-out despite wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, your hair tied in a messy high bun. Adding to your torment was your broken A/C. You’d requested your landlord to fix it several times but your efforts were to no avail.
You would have kept bothering him incessantly and gotten the job done if you weren’t so intimidated by him already.
Sighing, you eyed your bathroom. A cold shower sounded like an amazing idea. Jeno wasn’t supposed to come over to watch the movie for a while anyway.
Deciding to cool yourself and get rid of the sweat sticking to your body, you entered the tiny bathroom. A high-pitched squeal left your mouth the moment you turned the shower knob and the cold water hit your skin.
“Fuck,” you cursed and flinched, turning the knob the other way immediately. Your shitty apartment didn’t even have a valve to adjust the temperature—the water was either mildly hot or ice cold. Showering in summer was always a big problem.
“God, I don’t wanna keep doing this,” you mumbled to yourself and stepped into your room again.
There was this… thing you’d been doing ever since you moved into this apartment. Whenever it was hot, you’d work out so you’d get more sweaty. That way, when you showered under the ice-cold water, it didn’t feel as unbearable.
It was weird and there probably was no science behind it, but you didn’t care as long as it worked.
So, you rolled out your yoga mat on the floor and began warming up.
Within no time, your skin was glistening with sweat and your hair was damp. You were struggling to complete the last push-up of your final set when someone knocked on your door, causing you to lose your focus. Your arms gave out beneath you, and you collapsed to the ground.
“Woah, it’s boiling in here,” Jeno pointed out intelligently. “And you look like you’re one move away from dying. God, I can’t even breathe Why the fuck are you working out with the windows closed? Are you stupid?”
Groaning, you rolled on your back and watched your best friend as he moved to the windows and threw them open. “Hey!” you protested weakly and raised a trembling arm in a pathetic attempt to stop him. “I’m trying to do something!”
Jeno raised an eyebrow at you and grabbed your hand, hauling you up effortlessly. “Oh, yeah? Pray tell.”
You crashed into his chest and rebounded, but he tightened his hold on you. His palm hovered over your back in case you lost your balance. Steadying yourself, you glared at him and snapped, “No. You’re gonna make fun of me.”
“I won’t!” Jeno laughed, his eyes crinkling.
“Stop, you’re doing it already!”
“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. I really do wanna know what you were doing.”
You eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to slip up and start laughing again. But Jeno’s face remained mildly curious. Satisfied, you explained, “Well, because I was feeling hot, I decided to take a shower. The water here is very cold, though, so I decided to work out in a closed room because that would make me even hotter. If I get in the shower now, it wouldn’t feel as cold because my body temperature has already increased, and the water would be sort of neutralised.”
A beat of silence passed. And then, “I know I said I wouldn’t make fun of you—”
“Then stop talking.”
“But did you not realise you could have mixed the hot and cold water in a bucket?” Jeno continued, clearly still talking. “Or, I don’t know, come over to my place to shower?”
“You live with three other men.” You deadpanned. “I was not going to shower in your apartment with Jaemin, Renjun and Hyuck there. Also, I don’t have a big enough bucket, so I will be buying one today,” you added, muttering the last bit.
Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, Y/N, I would have kicked the guys out.”
“What makes you think they would have listened to you?” you asked amusedly.
“Okay, true,” he agreed. “They would have listened to you, though. If there’s anyone who’s bossy enough to get them out of the house on a hot Sunday afternoon, it’s you.”
“Are you calling me bossy?”
“Are you going to shower now?” he deflected. “You stink.”
“Shut up!” you exclaimed and slapped his shoulder hard, but laughed nonetheless. Moving away from him, you kicked him off your yoga mat and said, “You opened the windows and interrupted my workout, so I don’t feel as hot anymore. I think I’m gonna exercise a little more so I don’t die of hypothermia in the shower. You can take my laptop and choose a movie till then if you want.”
“How about I work out with you?” Jeno suggested. “We can have our gym bros moment.”
“I don’t wanna have a gym bros moment with you.”
“Why?” he whined.
Flicking his forehead, you said, “Because I know you’re gonna turn this into a competition, and I’m not in the mood.”
“Scared?”
“You wish,” you scoffed. “I’m tired from all the working out I did before you came, and I’m not going against you when you have that advantage over me.”
“That still means you’re scared. Pussy.”
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you got into the position for a plank. “Get out if you’re going to keep being annoying and not contribute shit to our gym bros moment.”
“I knew you’d come around,” Jeno replied smugly. You practically heard the grin in his voice when he said that.
You closed your eyes and laboured your breathing as you felt your abdomen begin to burn almost immediately. “Had to, or I knew you’d keep irritating me.”
Opening your lids, you turned your neck to see if he was doing the exercise with you.
Your arms gave out the moment you saw Jeno shirtless, his bulging biceps on full display.
“Damn, you lost quicker than I thought,” he commented.
“Why are you naked?!” you demanded in a shrill voice.
Still in position, Jeno only glanced at you like you were out of your mind. “I was wearing a hoodie, Y/N. Did you expect me to do a plank in that furnace?”
“Yeah!” you exclaimed. To your dismay, your eyes kept drifting to his well-defined muscles no matter how much you tried to focus on his face.
To make things worse, Jeno noticed. And smirked. “Stop complaining if you’re enjoying the view so much. It’s okay to admit you have a hot best friend.”
Flustered, you scrambled to your feet and looked at the ceiling. God, you felt like a stupid middle schooler. It was insane how much of an effect Jeno was having on you. What was weirder was that your mind was drifting to places it had never been before. At least where your best friend was concerned.
“Narcissus has nothing on you,” you muttered under your breath, and tried to gather your bearings.
“Besides,” Jeno continued, having not heard you. “I do send you pictures sometimes. I don’t know why you’re acting like you’ve never seen me like this.”
“Your phone’s camera is fucked, Jeno,” you grumbled. “The photos you texted me didn’t capture half of what’s actually there.”
No matter what you hadn’t seen, you’d felt whenever you hugged each other. It didn’t take away your surprise upon seeing the 2440p quality visual though.
“Is that disappointment I hear?” he taunted.
“No!” you exclaimed and finally looked at him again. At the sight of his working muscles, you muttered, “Can we stop now? You won.”
“Ah!” Jeno dragged the word as if he had just stumbled upon a revelation. “You want me to stand up so you can get a better view of my abs? Got it.”
Your eyes widened, and before you could deny his ridiculous accusations, he was towering over you. Wiggling his eyebrows, he gestured towards himself and flexed dramatically.
“You’re an idiot,” you huffed, unable to help yourself.
“Yeah? Then I guess an idiot just managed to fluster the shit out of you.” Jeno smiled and ruffled your hair. Bending, he picked up his discarded hoodie and shrugged it back on. “I’ll go and get you a bathing bucket from the supermarket around the corner. Don’t freeze yourself to death.”
You rolled your eyes. “I won’t.”
“Also, do you remember the shirt I forgot here all those months ago after I got wet in the rain? Can you find it so I can change into it when I’m back?” He frowned and looked at himself. “I’ll eventually toast myself if I watch the movie in my hoodie.”
“Sure, but you’re stupid for wearing warm clothes in summer,” you commented.
Jeno gave you a dirty look. “Sorry for assuming your A/C was in working condition. Besides, you always want to cuddle when we watch movies, so I figured you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing a hoodie.”
Your cheeks warmed at that, your heart stumbling a beat. What was wrong with you? You’d always known Jeno was caring and went out of his way to do nice things for you.
Typically, you’d have felt grateful for how thoughtful he was being.
Now, though, you felt that and… something else that you didn’t really want to acknowledge.
“Whatever,” you said instead, trying to sound dismissive. Pushing him out of your room, you continued, “I’ll find it. Just hurry up with the bucket.”
A few minutes after Jeno was gone, a notification popped up on your phone.
[jeno]: clearer picture that i clicked on jaemin’s phone for your viewing pleasure :”)
You blinked in confusion and opened the photo that was attached below, your eyes widening the moment you saw it. It was a zoomed-in gym mirror selfie of Jeno wearing nothing but sweatpants and shoes, his muscular abdomen on full display.
[you]: did you crop jaemin?
[jeno]: ???? [jeno]: wdym……. [you]: the photo’s dimensions are weird [jeno]: oh [jeno]: what the fuck [you]: LMFAOOO [jeno]: STOP I DIDN’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT HIM INSTEAD OF ME I’VE GOT A BETTER BODY ANYWAY AND I’M GONNA BUY A NEW PHONE SO I CAN SEND YOU CLEARER PICS WITHOUT HAVING TO CROP THAT FUCKER OUT
You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling too wide. Right before you were about to type a reply, you received another text from your best friend.
[jeno]: so are you gonna tell me what you think [you]: FINE you’re hot. [you]: happy? [jeno]: euphoric
Finally laughing out loud, you shook your head.
Narcissus had nothing on Jeno indeed.
02. female friends ask you to be their wingwoman
You didn’t think you’d ever accompanied Jeno to a party without having someone ask you to set them up with him.
“Please,” Yoo Jimin begged for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Yeji said he was single!”
Sighing, you mentally cursed Yeji for inviting Jimin to Jeno’s party. “He is, but I’m not setting you up with him.”
“Why?” Jimin demanded rather aggressively, making you wonder what it would take for her to quit nagging you. “Do you like him or something?”
It took a concerning amount of effort for you to refrain from rolling your eyes. “I do not.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know, Jimin!” you finally burst and gestured at your surroundings. “Maybe I’m not too keen on helping you out because you followed me into the washroom and cornered me! Maybe I feel used because you’ve never shown much interest in me even though I’ve tried striking up a conversation with you several times before!”
Jimin’s features softened, and she looked away. “You’re right,” she muttered, guilt and shame evident in her voice. “I’m sorry for jumping on you like that.”
You immediately felt bad for snapping at her. Pursing your lips, you tried to cheer her up. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need me to set you up with him anyway. I know we haven’t hung out much, but based on what I’ve heard about you from Yeji, you’re smart, funny and social. You have no reason to be nervous while approaching Jeno.”
For some reason, you regretted encouraging Jimin to pursue your best friend. A gaping hole formed in your heart, and you wished she would go for someone else instead.
“Thanks, Y/N.” Jimin smiled gratefully. “I know I’ve been a shitty person, but could you give me another chance? I’d really like to get to know you more.”
And just like that, the hollowness in your chest was gone. You gave her a genuine smile of your own and said, “I gotta pee right now, but does lunch tomorrow work for you?”
Jimin’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot where we were.” Rubbing the nape of her neck sheepishly, she replied, “Lunch works. I’ll text you tonight so we can talk about it.”
The two of you exchanged your goodbyes, and then she was gone. A few minutes later, you exited the washroom as well and headed back to the party.
“I missed you,” a voice slurred in your ear. Arms circled around your waist, and a face buried itself into the crook of your neck.
You laughed. “You failed the challenge, Jeno.”
“Where were you?” he demanded in an almost whiny tone. “It’s your fault! I wouldn’t have lost at beer pong if you’d been playing with me.”
Patting Jeno’s back in consolation, you replied, “I’m sorry you have zero self-control and commit to things you know you won’t be able to do.”
Jeno peeled himself away from you and pouted. “You’re mean.”
“Thanks. Let’s get wasted together,” you said, but then added upon looking at his already tipsy condition, “Or I can get wasted, and your ass can keep me company.”
“Don’t you think one of us should be sober?” Jeno asked as you pulled him along.
“I’m not gonna hold back from drinking!” you exclaimed. “Let me remind you that you were supposed to be the sober one today and make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I’m blaming you if I get naked in the yard.”
Thanks to the music that was gradually getting louder as you approached the main party area, you didn’t hear your best friend’s response. You tightened your grip on his hand when the crowd thickened. Wading your way through the dancing throng, you finally reached the table lined with alcohol and food.
You chose a bottle of Romanov and popped it open, drinking straight from it. You’d barely taken a few gulps when Jeno snatched it from you and put it to his own mouth.
Throwing him a dirty look, you picked up another bottle for yourself. “Do you wanna dance?”
“I wanna throw up.”
“Suit yourself.” You shrugged and aimed for the dance floor. A smile crept on your face upon seeing Jaemin; you were not in the mood to dance alone.
“Y/N!” he hollered when he noticed you. Stumbling towards you, he pulled you in a quick embrace. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“Finals!” you answered. Jaemin nodded in understanding and ran a hand through his hair, taking a swig from his beer. “Do you wanna dance?”
You grinned. “You know I do.”
The next few hours were a complete blur. The bottle in your hand was replaced by more one after the other, and when Jaemin deemed you’d had enough to drink, he gave you a red solo cup filled with water instead.
It felt good to finally unwind after the horrible few weeks you’d had. There was no academic stress weighing down on you anymore, and though you were low on sleep, you didn’t want to stop partying.
You just wished you and Jeno had gotten wasted together. While you were having fun with Jaemin, partying with Jeno was a different experience entirely.
Right as you were about to take a sip from your cup, you felt an arm being thrown around your neck. The touch was so familiar that you recognised who it was immediately.
“I missed you!” you exclaimed. Jeno looked down at you with a grin on his face, a pair of black party glasses sitting on his nose. His hair was damp and fell over his forehead. Maybe it was the liquor in your system, but you could have sworn he never looked better. “Let’s dance.”
“Dance?” Jeno laughed. “Haven’t you been doing that for the past two hours? Don’t your feet hurt?”
Frowning, you glanced at your legs. “They do!” you exclaimed, and looked back at him again, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes, you mumbled, “But I still want to dance.”
“How about we go on the roof instead? The stars look pretty tonight,” your best friend suggested, trying his best not to laugh at you. “I didn’t drink at all after you left me. I’m sober enough to take care of you now.”
Your eyes lit up at that. “Wow, that’s such a good idea! You’re so smart, Jeno. I love you.”
Jeno’s lips finally twitched up in a smile. “I love you too, silly.”
Plucking the solo cup out of your hand, he offered you an arm. You looped yours through it with a soft thank you and leaned on him as he led you upstairs.
The two of you entered his dark room, and Jeno shut the door behind him. Only when the loud music was muffled did you realise your head was throbbing.
He unhooked your arms gently and grabbed a warm blanket off his bed. Throwing open his window, he jumped out on the flat roof and looked at you expectantly.
You staggered behind Jeno and took the hand he was holding out for you. His other hand hovered over your waist as you climbed on the sill.
Thanks to the alcohol in your system, your balance was non-existent, and your legs turned to jelly the moment they made contact with the roof. Fortunately, your best friend was there to catch you.
You bumped into Jeno’s chest instead of falling to the ground. He wrapped his arms around you and steadied you, laughing a little at your antics.
“God, how much did you drink?” you heard him wonder to himself. You mumbled an incoherent response and leaned against the outside wall of his room, watching him lay the spread on the floor.
The two of you usually climbed the ladder that led to the slanting roof at the very top of the house, but you reckoned the boy in front of you didn’t want to risk taking you up there when you were so wasted.
Jeno sat down on the blanket once he was done and peeked at you over his shoulder, patting the space beside him. “Come on.”
Pushing yourself off the siding, you stumbled to him, tripping over your feet a bit. You were able to keep your balance, though, and a moment later, you found yourself lying on the blanket next to him.
Your shoulders brushed against each other, the warmth from his body seeping into you. It was summer, but the night air was still chilly, especially now that you were on the roof. You were thankful for the protection Jeno offered against the mild cold.
The music was blaring once again now that you were outside, and there were no barriers to deafen it, but the volume barely bothered you. Your eyes were on the stars, trying to identify the constellations.
“I see Orion right there,” Jeno said, pointing at the sky. You followed his finger, and sure enough, there it was. “And there’s Ursa Minor.” He moved his hand after noting that you had recognised Orion.
“I don’t see it,” you muttered, blinking heavily to clear your sight.
“Can you see Polaris?” he asked, glancing at you for a moment.
You raised your hand and pointed it at a random star that was nowhere near the one Jeno was referring to. “There.”
Jeno snorted. “You could spot Orion, but you can’t identify the brightest star in the sky?” Without waiting for a response, your best friend grabbed your arm and directed it to the right star. “That is Polaris.”
“Woah.” You gaped and lowered your arm. “It’s so shiny.”
Jeno laughed again upon hearing the child-like wonder in your voice. You stargazed often and always challenged each other to see who could identify the most constellations in a minute. He knew the night sky was familiar to you, but seeing you like this reminded Jeno of the first time he brought you to his roof and introduced you to his favourite hobby.
“Do you want it?” he teased.
Eyes widening, you turned your neck to look at him, your faces so close you could count his lashes. “Really?”
“Really,” he said and pinched your cheek, unable to help himself. “I’ll get it for you.”
A wide smile immediately broke across your lips, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you!” you squealed.
Jeno chuckled, a little surprised that you had practically climbed on top of him, and part of him was caged under you now. He didn’t mind the sudden intimacy. It had always been his love language; any sort of physical contact with you—be it comparing hand sizes or carrying you on his back—warmed his heart.
Patting your head, he asked, “You want me to show you the rest of Ursa Minor?”
“Yes.” You nodded into the crook of his neck and peeled yourself away from him, but your head still rested where his shoulder met his arm.
Brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on your face, he averted his gaze to the sky. “Polaris is the tail of The Little Dipper. Now we move towards the left. See the star that’s above the brightest? That’s Delta. Epsilon is above Delta too, but the distance between them is not as much as the distance between the first two. Zeta is below—”
You tuned Jeno out. He was still showing you the stars that made up the constellations, far too invested to notice that you were no longer paying attention to what he was saying and were looking at something much more beautiful instead.
You’d always known your best friend was attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice his striking features—they were sharp with a certain softness around the edges. His face always stood out in crowds and demanded people’s undivided attention.
Rightfully so, you thought to yourself as you admired his perfectly straight nose and the shape of his soft lips, diverting your gaze to his eyes. You’d always thought they were his best features. They were warm and open and felt like home. It deserves to be appreciated.
“Pherka, Eta, Kochab and Zeta form a—”
“You’re prettier.”
Jeno glanced at you, your faces mere inches away and those beautiful eyes peering into yours with slight confusion. “What?”
“You said the stars looked pretty tonight,” you whispered. “I think you’re prettier.” You paused for a moment, as if rethinking your words. Then, “I think you’re the prettiest person in the world.”
A fond smile crept on your best friend’s face, and maybe it was because your ear was in the vicinity of his heart, but you could have sworn you heard it thumping loudly against his ribcage. Lightly bumping his forehead against yours, Jeno whispered back,
“I think you’re the prettiest person in the world too.”
03. it’s very easy to fall for them, especially when they’re always so sweet and caring
The first thing you felt upon regaining your consciousness was pain.
Your skull was splitting apart, the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the closed curtains rendering you blind. Nausea was beginning to set in, but your body was so weak that you weren’t sure you could make it to the toilet in time.
You should have never drunk so much. Not only had you not taken any proper rest after working yourself to exhaustion during your finals, but had also danced to the point you couldn’t move your legs. Heck, you couldn’t even remember much of the party. You recalled leaving Jeno behind to party with Jaemin, but everything after that was a huge blank slate.
The toilet was far away, but you could try reaching the dustbin near the study table instead of just throwing up on the carpet. Groaning, you tried to push yourself up. When that didn’t work, you put all strength in your abdomen and threw yourself off the bed.
A shockwave of agony passing through your body rendered you immobile on the ground. You moaned in pain and curled in on yourself, covering your mouth with a hand upon tasting bile on your tongue.
The door was thrown open, and a worried Jeno gaped at you lying on his room’s hard floor motionlessly. “What the fuck?”
“Dustbin,” you croaked with much difficulty, tears springing to your eyes. They hurt so much you wanted to rip them out.
Your best friend moved into action immediately. “I kept the dustbin right beside the bed in case you got sick, you blind twat truck. Along with painkillers and water on the table.”
You found it in yourself to glare at the boy, but he ignored you. Placing the waste basket in front of you, he helped you up. You gripped the rim as he gathered your hair in his hand and held it up to avoid it getting in the way of your vomit.
Right before you emptied the toxins in your body, you managed to say to him, “How capable do I look to you right now, you stupid toe-licking grinch man?”
Jeno rolled his eyes and rubbed your back with his other hand, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once your heaving stopped, you took the tissue he was holding out for you and wiped your mouth. You felt much better after throwing up but you were still so tired.
“Come on.”
You swatted Jeno’s hand away and rested your back on his bed, tucking your legs under your chin. “Too much effort,” you muttered and closed your eyes, willing the headache to go away.
“I was going to carry you to the bed, Y/N,” he said in exasperation.
“I just need a moment,” you whispered almost incoherently, wishing he would stop asking you questions when you had no energy to answer. “A moment and an Aspirin.”
There was some shuffling, and then you felt a hand brushing your matted hair out of your face. “Here.”
You peeled your lids open to see Jeno crouched in front of you with water and the painkiller you had asked for. Taking it from his hand, you popped it into your mouth and gulped down some water.
For a few moments, you tried to regulate your breathing and calm yourself down. Jeno could tell you were gathering the willpower and strength to climb back on his bed. He wanted to help, but you clearly didn’t want it. So, he just watched you silently struggle.
He should have been with you last night; he hated that he wasn’t when he had promised to be the sober half. As far as Jeno was concerned, Jaemin was going to get an earful about keeping tabs on how much his friends drank. Never in the two years of friendship had he seen you with such a huge hangover.
“Fuck,” he heard you curse under your breath. You moaned in pain as you pushed yourself up on trembling arms and fell on his mattress. Sighing, Jeno tucked you in and pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead.
“Sleep well,” he said and made his way to the door. “I’ll wake you up for lunch. Renjun is making grilled sandwiches.”
Your eyes flew open again. Fuck. You were supposed to meet Jimin.
“Jeno, wait,” you blurted, and he stopped in his tracks. “I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I don’t think I can make it. Can you cover for me?”
Your best friend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Which friend?”
“Jimin.”
“I thought she ghosted you.” He frowned. “Now you’re meeting her for lunch?”
“No, you are meeting her for lunch. I don’t wanna be rude and cancel at the last minute. What if she already left?”
“It’s 10 in the morning.”
“Well, what if she turned down other offers because of the plans we made?”
“She left an hour ago with Mark after passing out on the couch in Hyuck’s room last night. I doubt she’s had the time to turn down any other offers. Actually, I think she’ll be glad you cancelled. She looked pretty hungover when she left.”
“Why are you being so difficult?” you whined, wincing when the throbbing in your head responded to the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. “I’m only asking you for a small favour.”
“I’m not being difficult,” Jeno defended himself and took a few steps towards you. “I’m trying to tell you that you may be overthinking this. Let me send her a text from your phone asking for a reschedule, and we can have some homemade lunch with the guys.”
Sighing heavily, you averted your gaze from his and stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna blow this. I think she’s really cool and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m good friends with everyone in our social circle except her. It’s awkward.”
Jeno’s eyes softened at that. “Y/N, you’re not blowing anything. Rescheduling lunch because you both partied till you collapsed is not going to take away any points. Trust me.”
Your best friend was right. You were overthinking this, but you didn’t exactly blame yourself. All your efforts to befriend Jimin had been futile till now. You didn’t want to do anything that could mess up the friendship that had begun to bloom last night.
“Fine,” you finally relented. “Shoot her a text from my phone. I think it’s in my clothes bag—” you paused, your eyes widening. Lifting Jeno’s duvet in panic, you looked down at yourself. “Who changed my clothes?”
“Ningning did!” Jeno answered quickly, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. He couldn’t understand why he was freaking out—nothing happened.
You exhaled in relief, trying to get rid of the alien tingling feeling spreading throughout your body. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, my phone’s in my clothes bag.”
Jeno busied himself, rummaging through your backpack that was on his bedside table. What you didn’t know, however, was that it was just a front for him to calm himself down. “Got it.” He waved the phone at you. “What’s your pin?”
“Your birthday.”
His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, and a seed of warmth sprouted in his chest. A dizzying sense of affection for you washed over him, drenching him in happiness from head to toe. “Really?”
You nodded and closed your eyes. Turning on your side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position, you buried yourself deeper under his sheets. Yawning, you mumbled, “Day-Month-Year with leading zeros.”
“My password is your birthday too,” he said quietly after sending Jimin the text. “A lot of them are. It’s the easiest set of numbers to remember.”
You didn’t respond. Jeno didn’t mind. He knew you’d already fallen asleep. Keeping your phone on the table, he smiled sadly and stared at your resting figure in longing. “Everything about you is so easy to remember.”
Jeno closed the door behind him as he left, none the wiser about the fact that you were still awake and had heard everything he’d said, your heart beating so fast that you thought it was going to leap out of your chest.
Your best friend left, completely unaware of the fact that you were now entertaining the possibility of being in love with him.
𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 !
01. the green-eyed monster you resent makes an appearance more than you’d like
You genuinely couldn’t believe your friend group and their seemingly never-ending social battery.
One would think that after a long night of partying, a person would stay at home the next day and take some much-needed rest. Your friends, however, thought it was a good idea to meet up for dinner and decide what to do over the weekend.
You didn’t bother to remind them of the wonderful invention that was group chats.
“We should drive up to the beach,” Mark suggested, flipping through the menu. “Summer just started, so I don’t think there will be a lot of people.”
All of you were seated in a round booth at the back of a diner Chenle said he frequented. You weren’t going to lie; you could see why. The setting was very homey, and the cushioning of the sofa was very cosy—you were almost sure you were going to fall asleep even before your food arrived.
Ningning, who was sitting beside Mark, peeked over his shoulder to see what was listed. Minjeong said, “That’s stupid. The start of summer is exactly when beaches get overcrowded. Most don’t get to visit the ocean during the year, so they make a beeline for the beach as soon as break begins.”
“True,” you heard Jeno say. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the cushion behind you. You resisted the urge to lean in. Taking a sip of his water, he continued, “Besides, we’re already going to Jeju Island for a week next month. I don’t think we should drive three hours to go to the beach right now.”
“What about karaoke?” Jimin piped up. She was sitting on the other side of Minjeong, opposite from Chenle, who was on the other side of the table.
“We don’t need an entire weekend for just karaoke,” Chenle pointed out. “We could do it whenever we want.”
“Well, what about—”
“Hey, can I take your order?” a female voice that was a combination of annoyed, upbeat, friendly and polite interrupted Minjeong. The girl looked a little flustered at being cut off, but she cleared her throat and mumbled a small yeah, just give us a minute.
The waitress did not move, so all of you awkwardly picked up the menu cards and began flipping through them.
“The usual for me, Yuna,” Chenle said, smiling up at her. To diffuse the sudden tension created in the air, he began making small talk with her as she waited.
“What are you eating?” Jeno asked. He was closer to you now, his eyes scanning the contents of the menu card in your hand over your shoulder.
You shrugged. “I don’t think I’m eating anything. I’m not very hungry.”
Jeno’s eyebrows creased, and he glanced at your face in worry. “You haven’t had anything since lunch. At least drink something.”
“It’s fine.” You dismissed him with a wave of your hand and pushed the card in his direction so he could order whatever he wanted. “I won’t be able to finish anything by myself and I don’t wanna waste food.”
“How about we share?” he insisted. “You eat however much you want, and I’ll finish the rest. Don’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.”
An internal battle began. While Jeno’s suggestion was sensible, you knew he didn’t like to share his food with anyone. You remembered a time when he had refused to go on a second date with a girl because she kept nibbling on his meal. You didn’t want him to do something he hated just for your sake.
“Really, it’s fine,” you repeated. “You go ahead and—”
“Hey, Y/N,” Yeji called, making you divert your attention to her. “You wanna share a triple-decker chicken sandwich? Chenle said this place is famous all over town for that dish.”
You had to admit, a triple-decker chicken sandwich did sound tasty. But you’d just turned down Jeno, so you didn’t wanna say yes to Yeji. Shaking your head, you once again said, “I’m not hungry.”
“Why aren’t you hungry?” Mark frowned, overhearing your conversation. The rest of your friend group looked at you in concern. Ningning asked, “Are you okay?”
You groaned. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to everyone why you didn’t have an appetite. “I’m okay. I’m just not hungry because I had a lot for lunch.”
“That’s a lie,” Jeno commented unhelpfully, and you smacked his shoulder hard in retaliation. He winced, rubbing the area of attack. “Hey!”
“Shut up!” you exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, you said to everyone with as little annoyance in your voice as you could, “Please just order what you want. I still feel a little weird after last night’s party, and I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” Before anyone could reply, you added, “I’m going to the restroom. Be right back.”
Yeji looked a little stunned, but she got up from her seat and let you leave the booth when you requested her to move. Locking yourself in one of the stalls, you clutched your stomach and curled in on yourself, closing your eyes.
Your period cramps were especially painful this time. Maybe it was because of last night’s exertion, but your cycle was early too. Your stomach was in too many knots for you to even think about eating anything.
The washroom’s door opened, and you heard soft footsteps trudging towards you. Knocking on the only occupied stall’s door, a female voice asked, “Is everything okay, Y/N?”
“Yeah,” you croaked, feeling tears burning your eyes. “Everything’s fine, Jimin. I just have period cramps, that’s all.”
“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “I have painkillers. Do you want them?”
Exhaling through your mouth, you wiped your moist cheeks and stepped out of the stall. “Sure.”
Jimin smiled at you reassuringly and handed you a wet wipe, looping her arm through yours. “Don’t worry. I got you.”
Your heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. You’d wanted to connect with her for so long, and it finally felt like you were getting somewhere this time. Maybe you were being overemotional due to your fluctuating hormones, but you wanted to pull her into a hug.
“Oh, also,” you started a little sheepishly, “I wanted to apologise in person about cancelling on you earlier today. I drank and partied more than I should have. I thought about sending Jeno to cover for me, but he pointed out that it would have been awkward for you to see him when you were expecting me.”
“Woah, wait!” she gaped and took a step away from you. The shock on her face surprised you for a moment, but the feeling didn’t last long. “You’re kidding me! You should have kept insisting, Y/N! A lunch date would have been the perfect way for us to get closer!”
“I don’t think he would have considered the lunch a date because he was just a stand-in for me,” you said awkwardly, and threw the used wipe in the dustbin.
Jimin waved you away as you walked out of the restroom and back to your booth. “I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an official date, but it would have given me the opportunity to ask him out on a real one.”
“Right.”
You hated the way you sounded. You hated the way your stomach churned, and your mood dropped. You hated that someone was pursuing Jeno. You hated that you were being forced to play Cupid, all thanks to your strong refusal to admit your feelings and the friendship you wanted to build with the girl next to you.
“Oh, my God!” Jimin exclaimed, too immersed in her own fantasies to have noticed the change in your tone and demeanour. “I can make up for the missed opportunity by sitting next to him right now! You wouldn’t mind, would you?”
You did mind. The idea of her making a move on your best friend made you want to dig a hole and cry. God, you were being so pathetic. This was completely unlike you, and you despised the way you were acting. You had to pull yourself together immediately.
Besides, it wasn’t like you were ever going to explore these newfound feelings you had for Jeno. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship. Forcing an encouraging smile on your face, you said, “Um, sure! That’s a really good idea.”
“Took you guys long enough,” Chenle commented once you returned.
You raised an eyebrow. “Did you have any other places to be?”
“I mean I was worried.” He rolled his eyes. “We ordered food while you were gone. You sure you don’t want anything, Y/N?”
“Yep,” you said, popping the last letter. “Scoot over and make space for us.”
Yeji got up again and stood to the side as Jimin, and you slid into the booth. “The two of you better not make me get up again. I’m not budging even if you need to take a big dump.”
“Sorry,” you muttered, smiling at her sheepishly. Making yourself comfortable, you grabbed your glass of water and dipped a straw in it, idly sipping the liquid.
Jeno’s gaze caught yours from behind Jimin’s back. He pointed at her with a frown on his face and mouthed, “Why is she sitting beside me?”
You waved him away and turned your attention to the rest of your friends. “Please tell me you guys finally decided what we’re doing over the weekend.”
“We did,” Mark piped up. “We’re thinking of going to an amusement park and then a water park.”
Jimin frowned. “Won’t those places be crowded as well?”
“We just need to accept that most destinations will be. Everyone’s on break, so it doesn’t matter where we go. There will be people everywhere.”
You agreed with Minjeong. “Amusement park it is. Can we hit the bars at night?”
“It won’t be much of a trip if we don’t.” Ningning grinned. “You sure you want to go clubbing so soon though? You were completely wasted when Jeno called me to his room and made me change your clothes last night.”
Mark snickered. “Are you scared of changing your own girlfriend’s clothes, Jeno?”
Silence. No one spoke.
NingNing was staring at Mark incredulously, and Yeji seemed to be suffering through an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment. Chenle pretended to flip through the menu while Minjeong grabbed her phone and scrolled through the apps on her home screen in an attempt to look busy.
Jimin whirled to face you so fast that you wondered how her neck hadn’t snapped. You couldn’t even dare to look at Jeno to see what reaction Mark’s words had evoked out of him.
Laughing awkwardly, you asked, “Who said we’re dating?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Mark scoffed in disbelief. “You guys are so bad at keeping your relationship private. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you.”
“Is that true?” Jeno asked, but no one present at the table dared to meet his gaze. “Do all of you think there’s something going on between Y/N and me?”
“I mean….” Chenle began, dragging the word out. “You both are very close. People who claim to be just friends don’t cross the boundaries you two step all over everyday. But we’ve never seen you kiss either, so we’re not sure if you’re dating secretly or…”
“You guys are crazy,” you interrupted. “Stop speculating about our relationship. It’s weird.” Turning to face a very betrayed-looking Jimin, you enunciated, “Jeno and I are just friends. That’s all there is to us.”
“Yeah,” Jeno added, glancing at you. “Y/N and I will only ever be friends. There’s no way I would date her. I don’t find her attractive in a romantic way.”
Feeling a knot form in your heart and anger bubble in the pit of your stomach, you snapped, “Same. Jeno’s not even my type. I wouldn’t get together with him if we were the only people left on Earth.”
Your friends exchanged knowing glances, and poor Jimin, who was stuck sitting between Jeno and you, made an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Okay, guys. We get it.”
“I’m not sure you do,” Jeno hissed, staring all your friends down. “I can see your damn faces. The only way you’re going to believe I’m not into Y/N is if I prove it to you by going out with someone else.”
Minjeong began, “That’s not—”
“No, he’s right,” you fumed. Under the table, your hand curled into a fist. “The only way you guys are going to get this stupid image of Jeno and me being together romantically is if we date other people.”
“The two of you are overreacting!” Yeji exclaimed. “There’s no need to get so defensive! We were wrong for assuming, and Mark was an idiot for opening his fat mouth. I’m sure you both would have told us if there was something. We’re all sorry.”
There was a chorus of agreement on the table. Everyone genuinely seemed to be apologetic—except Mark, who was glaring at Yeji and looked mad for being called an idiot. His eyes met yours, and a sheepish smile took form on his lips.
You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, but your heart was still in knots. There was a certain hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You felt sick and anxious.
Did Jeno really have to say all those hurtful things just to convince your friends about your platonic relationship? He didn’t need to sound so offended and make your mutual denial a competition.
Sure, you were the one who had declared there would never be anything more than just friendship between Jeno and you, but he didn’t have to cross the line by saying you weren’t appealing to him.
Besides, you’d said what you’d said for Jimin. You didn’t actually mean the words that left your mouth. Considering the emotions you’d been feeling recently, it would be a lie to claim you didn’t hope for a different sort of future with Jeno.
It didn’t matter anyway. A romantic relationship between the two of you wasn’t practical. Your best friend had never so much as hinted at wanting something more.
In a twisted way, you were glad he said those wounding things. You needed to be pulled back to reality.
“Hey, Jeno,” you heard Jimin say once the food arrived and everyone started eating. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch and watch a movie sometime this week?”
Bile rose to your throat. You hoped to God he would say no. You didn’t care if you were being a shitty person; you didn’t think you could take any more of this torture.
“Are you asking me out on a date?”
Your eyes were trained on your glass of water, but you didn’t need to look at him to know he was surprised. As much as you hated eavesdroppers, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to learn where this conversation was going.
“I am.” Jimin chuckled nervously.
Jeno didn’t reply immediately. The rest of your friends were engaged in their own discussions with the people sitting next to them. The table wasn’t silent by any means, but the only things you could hear were Jimin waiting for his answer with bated breath and the pounding of your heart in your chest.
Then, “I would be honoured.”
Oh, you were most definitely going to throw up.
02. you fall for them
You hadn’t talked to Jeno ever since dinner with your group.
He hadn’t reached out to you, and you hadn’t tried to contact him either. You’d received a text from Jimin the next day about the specifics of her date with Jeno. They were supposed to meet up for lunch at a restaurant near your college campus and then go out to watch some sappy rom-com.
He didn’t even care for rom-coms. You’d begged him to watch one with you countless times and he’d always turned you down. Part of you wondered if he knew Jimin was updating you about everything and he was purposely pulling this shit to get back at you.
But you dismissed the notion immediately. No way were you so dense and self-centred. Maybe Jeno genuinely was into Jimin.
Your phone began ringing, and you rolled over on your bed, blindly searching for it on your bedside table. God, you hated being woken up in the middle of your afternoon naps. It almost always guaranteed a headache.
“Hello,” you said groggily, your throat raw and dry. “Who is this?”
“Oh! Did I wake you up?” It was Jimin. She sounded upbeat. Your heart sank. “I’m so sorry!”
Pushing yourself up, you rubbed the gunk out of your eyes and made your way to the window. The darkness made you bump into the corner of your study table, and you bit down on your lip to keep a yelp from escaping. Hobbling, you threw the curtains open and said, “No worries. My alarm was just about to ring. How was the date?”
Laughter bubbled from the other end of the phone line. “It was cool! He is a really good guy. No wonder everyone is head over heels for him. He opened the door for me, didn’t let me spend any money even though I asked him out, was an excellent listener, called me pretty and beautiful, and drove me back home. Oh, God, and the eye-contact? It made him a hundred times sexier.”
Seems legit, you thought to yourself. Jeno had always been a gentleman. The other girls you’d set him up with had pretty much given you the same feedback. Part of you felt relieved that this date hadn’t been any different than the others he’d been on.
Except the rom-com part, of course. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why he would agree to something he hated.
“Ah, I’m happy for you, Jimin!” you exclaimed, trying your best to mean what you said. Your own words tasted like ash on your tongue. “Are you guys going on a second date?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. He said he had a great time with me, but when I tried to ask him out again, he just hugged me. That took me by surprise, and I kinda just forgot.” She laughed. “I know good dates usually end with a kiss, but the fact that he didn’t go for one didn’t bother me.”
“Oh,” you mumbled. Sitting on the ledge of your window, you asked, “That sounds nice. Do you think you’ll try asking him again?”
The last thing you expected her to say was no. And the way she said it… she didn’t sound sad or upset or disappointed. She sounded like herself. She sounded the way one would when they talked about the weather.
It confused you. Didn’t Jimin just say the date was really good? She sounded so happy and delighted. Why was she backing out now?
“I—I don’t get it,” you sputtered. “I thought you were into him. I thought you had a great time today. Why aren’t you going to ask him out again? Did something else happen—?”
“Calm down.” She chuckled. “Nothing happened.”
“Huh? Then what’s the problem?”
“Nothing happened,” she repeated. “That’s the problem. I like Jeno. He’s attractive, funny and caring. He’s everything a girl would want in a guy. But there was no spark between us. I had a great time with him, but hanging out today didn’t feel any different than usual. It felt like I was hanging out with a good friend, not with a potential romantic interest.
“I was looking forward to exploring what I felt for him. Turns out, it was just physical attraction. It also turns out that he wasn’t into me at all. If it wasn’t obvious the night we all went out for dinner, it was glaringly clear today. I think part of the reason he said yes was that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” she added. “The other—major—part was that he’s in love with someone else, and I would rather die than be a homewrecker.”
“Oh,” you said again. You didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she mean Jeno is in love with someone else? You didn’t dare focus on the last part of what she’d said. You didn’t dare hope that the person she was referring to was you. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else easily. You’re a delight. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”
Jimin laughed again. “If you weren’t in love with Jeno too, Y/N, I would have thought you were into me.”
It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Forcing yourself to laugh, you croaked, “Whatever do you mean?”
Saying that was a mistake. You should not have asked her to elaborate. She was going to make you come to terms with your feelings, and all the time and effort you’d spent denying and trying to get rid of them was going to go down the drain.
Before she could speak, you made a static sound with your mouth. Then, you pretended that the connection was really bad. “Wha—hear—you. Try—back. Hell—?”
You hung up before Jimin could call you out on your bullshit. A moment later, you saw a text pop up.
[jimin]: that was soooo unsubtle [y/n]: idk what ur talking ab!!!!!!! [jimin]: sure [jimin]: also a tiny heads up [jimin]: i told jeno to stop being a pussy and an asshole so he’s on his way 2 ur place now [y/n]: WHAT THE FUCK [jimin]: i’m going 2 pretend u said thank u [jimin]: don’t forget ab our dinner date tmrw [jimin]: have fun <3
It was crazy how the bell rang almost immediately after you read the last text. You wondered if the timing was planned and that Jimin had told Jeno to wait till she gave him the go-ahead.
You trudged to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.
“Hey,” Jeno mumbled with a small smile. His hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it several times. “Can I come in?”
Biting the inside of your cheek, you nodded and moved out of the way to make space for him to step inside. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and stood awkwardly.
“You can sit,” you said, feeling the corners of your lips curl up in amusement.
He sighed and wove his fingers through his strands again. “Not before I apologise for my behaviour. I was completely out of line that day,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.”
“So you don’t think I’m unattractive?”
You meant to tease him, but the next thing you knew, he was standing toe-to-toe with you, a desperate and guilt-ridden expression adorning his face. “God, no. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I only said that because… because I knew it would hurt you.”
Jeno was standing too close to you. You could barely breathe, much less think. But that didn’t stop you from asking, “Why would you want to hurt me?”
He didn’t answer for what felt like an entire minute. He only kept staring at you, an internal battle raging inside him. Then, he let loose a breath of frustration and moved away. He refused to look at you, and your patience kept slipping with each moment that passed.
Right when you thought it would snap, Jeno spoke up, “It hurt me when you said you and I would only ever be friends. I know how stupid it sounds, but it really did. For years, I’d been pining after you and hoping that maybe we could be something more in the future. I felt like an idiot when I realised wouldn’t ever view me in that light.
“You got so defensive when Chenle said all our friends were suspicious of us being in a secret relationship. I couldn’t help but wonder if you felt disgusted at the idea of us being together. I got angry at myself for being naive and said those horrible things without even realising.”
You didn’t know what to say. This was the second time you’d been rendered speechless in the past thirty minutes. It was one revelation after the other; you were having a hard time keeping up.
“You—you like me?” you stuttered.
Jeno laughed humourlessly and looked you dead in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
You took a step back. “No, no, no, no—”
“Yes,” he pressed. “I’m sorry that I do. I know this changes everything, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just—”
“Why would you go out with Jimin if you… if you love me?” you whispered.
“Partly to see your reaction and partly in an attempt to get over you,” he admitted. “It didn’t work. I just—I just couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was with her. I felt so guilty for saying such terrible things because I couldn’t deal with my emotions and come to terms with reality. I’m really sorry, Y/N.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry too.”
“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me back—”
“That’s not what I’m apologising for,” you interrupted and walked towards him until your abdomens were touching. “I’m apologising for not seeing it sooner. I’m apologising for encouraging Jimin to ask you out even though it killed me. I’m apologising for denying my feelings time and time again. I’m apologising for saying we would only ever be friends. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be platonic.”
Jeno was barely breathing. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you too, Lee Jeno,” you mumbled and stood on your toes, cupping cheeks with your palms. “I’m saying I want you to kiss me.”
The words didn’t register immediately, but his lips were on yours the moment they did.
Jeno’s arm snaked around your waist, and he pulled you closer. His hand grabbed your neck from behind, and he tilted his neck to the side, deepening the kiss.
Your breath hitched in your throat. All you could feel was him. Your nerve-endings were short-circuiting, and pure adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You didn’t think you’d ever been as satisfied and euphoric as you were right now.
Jeno’s lips slotted with yours perfectly. You smiled to yourself upon realising he tasted like chocolates. Your best friend always ate a piece before any event he deemed to be very important. He claimed they gave him good luck.
Letting go of one of his cheeks, you grabbed the round collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth harder against his. The nights you’d spent wondering how kissing him would feel and then hating yourself immediately for having such thoughts amounted to this.
You didn’t want to hold back.
But you had to ask him a question. It didn’t matter how stupid or ridiculous it was; you wanted to know the answer. So, you broke the kiss and inquired with your body still tangled with his, “Why the hell did you agree to watch a rom-com with Jimin?”
“Really?” he asked exasperatedly. “You wanna talk about Jimin while we’re making out?”
“I wanna know why you watched a rom-com with her when I’ve been begging you to watch one with me for so long,” you corrected.
Jeno was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to tell you. You raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he started, blowing out a breath. “She told me you set her up with me, and it pissed me off even more. I knew she’d tell you all about our date, so I suggested we watch a rom-com. I knew you’d be riled up once you realised.”
You snorted. Who knew? You weren’t actually being a self-centred narcissist when you suspected the same. “You’re an idiot. I was already riled up you were going out with her.”
“Oh, yeah?” he teased. “Why’d you encourage her in the first place then?”
“Honestly, at first, I thought I could use you to further my friendship with her,” you admitted. Jeno scoffed in disbelief. “Yeah, I know. That was kinda shitty of me. But when I realised I was falling for you, I pushed her to pursue you in an attempt to convince myself I was not into you. That obviously backfired and did the very opposite. I was horribly miserable. I wanted to shoot myself everytime I heard her gush about you.”
He smirked. “She gushed about me?”
“Oh, get over yourself.” You shoved his shoulder playfully. “How’d you end up here after your date? Jimin texted me that you were coming.”
“Tough, but I’ll try.” He laughed. “She was probably able to tell how disinterested I was. After the date when I dropped her home and hugged her instead of kissing her, she just confronted me and asked if I was in love with you. Then told me to not bother answering because it was obvious. She said she didn’t want to get in the middle of us and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t come here to make amends immediately.”
You grinned. “Oh, the things I would have done to witness that scene.”
“It was scary.” Jeno frowned. “She hit my shoulder really hard when I said I was in love with you and called me an idiot for going out with her. I think she was angry at herself too for being oblivious to our situationship. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.”
“Jimin actually said she had a great time with you. She told me it was nice.”
“Really?” he asked, sounding surprised.
You placed a chaste kiss on Jeno’s mouth. “Hmm, I wonder how good the best date you’ve ever been on would be then.”
He chased your lips and kissed you back deeply. Caressing your cheekbone with stars twinkling in his eyes, Jeno said, “I guess we’ll know when I take you out.”
“No way, are you officially asking me out on a date, Lee Jeno?” you asked, and let out a fake gasp.
“Damn right I am,” he declared. “I don’t want the amusement park trip with our friends to be our first day out as a couple. Do you wanna grab some food tomorrow afternoon? We can go to the trampoline park before that.”
You smiled softly. “That sounds wonderful. But,” you added. “No more flirting with restaurant staff for free food, or I’ll go ballistic on you.”
Jeno laughed, and you thought it was the most beuatiful sound you had ever heard. His chest rumbled with the force of it, his eyes creasing to look like small crescent moons. Slipping his hand into yours, he squeezed once.
“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”
note: THANK U FOR READING TILL THE END WHAT ??? loads of hugs and kisses :’)) also i know i said this before but posting after a rlly long time has lowkey made me anxious LOLL i think i could have done better with the fic esp the end bc it’s a little rushed. honestly speaking i am ready to move on to my next wip and i don’t wanna spend more time rewriting this one :(( i still love this piece though and i would definitely love to hear your thoughts amigos!! stay healthy and hydrated <33
thank you to mira for coming in clutch and helping me out with the plot when i was stuck + giving me her honest opinion! thank you to dori too for reading parts of this fic and giving me her opinion as well! i love you both :D
taglist: @notbeforelong @w3bqrl @rikiflowers @mochisnlix @allorysayshi @hiqhkey @angel-hyuckie @j4kesworld @timetoten @vantxx95 @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @jennaissantes @sunshine-skz @baekhyunstruly @ja4hyvn @ily-cuz-i @kdyism @keemburley @n0hyuck @luvenshiti @donutswithjaminthemiddle @mosviqu @deobitiful @jeonnyread @pjofics @venusprada @matchahyuck @tbzussy @babyksworld @bockhyun @rbf-aceu @ablackbtsstan @tamakofever @naemakkuri @sadgirlroo @fariylixie0915 @pradagukkie @babyjenono @hibernatinghamster @jaemnationnn @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @carelessshootanonymous @nctzennikki09
#jeno imagines#nct imagines#jeno scenarios#nct scenarios#jeno fluff#nct fluff#jeno fanfiction#nct fanfiction#jeno x reader#nct x reader#lee jeno#nct dream#nct#jeno oneshots#nct oneshots#jeno drabbles#nct drabbles#nct reactions#nct headcanons#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream fluff#nct angst#nct dream angst#jeno soft hours#nct soft hours#nct dream x reader#nct dream oneshots#nct dream fanfiction#nct timetamps
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raffle for palestine
hi everyone, in an attempt to raise money for PCRF and UNRWA, I am organising a raffle on tumblr.
how do i register?
make a donation (any amount is a good amount) to either PCRF or UNRWA, then send me the donation receipt via email ([email protected]), dm or ask. both organisations accept donations via credit card and paypal.
what's the prize?
tatreez is an important part of palestinian cultural heritage. it's the traditional palestinian form of cross-stitch with different regions, and even different villages, embroidering their own style of tatreez.
some time ago I came across Lina Barkawi, aka @ linasthobe on instagram. please go check her out, she is an amazing artist.
this is what I made using her pattern "I Love You, Oh Homeland"*:
as it is my first time ever doing any type of cross-stitch, it is far from perfect and more of a symbolic prize—but I hope it will find a nice spot in the winner's home :)
how do you choose a winner?
the raffle will run from today (February 16 2024) to February 23 2024. I will then choose a winner via randomizer and contact the winner.
important:
the winner must be willing to share a valid address where I can send the prize to. it can be the address of someone you trust, too - just please get their consent first. of course I will treat your data confidentially.
i'm willing to ship internationally so as many people as possible can join!!
*btw: you can get this pattern on Lina's instagram page as a freebie ❤
for transparency's sake, I got permission from Lina to make this post beforehand.
more from Lina:
instagram
instagram
#palestine#gaza#Instagram#signal boost#. please share this even if you won't join!! that would mean a lot <3#raffle#r.txt
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enhypen as pro athletes
genre ⇢ reactions, imagines, wtv u wanna call it
wc ⇢ 200 ish per member ? idk
warning(s) ⇢ profanity, loll smth else?
taglist ⇢ @wensurr @nshmurarki @blvengene @sirens-dreams @mimismenu
a/n : erm i should be studying for my chem exam but that can wait 🙈
if you liked this please be sure to reblog and like this! feedback is always apreciated <3 and join my perma taglist here
HEESEUNG… basketball player
- major troy bolton vibes
- he’s got tunes AND hoops
- god forbid you’re at a park and he sees a court
- “this one’s for you baby!!” *misses*
- all jokes aside he has that nba player aura to him
- DEFFF a d1 college athlete who then went pro
- always blowing a kiss to you in the crowd
- TROOOOYYYYYYYYYY
- he would try teaching you how to play but then get frustrated because he’s so passionate
- he’s just good at basketball and he can sing that’s what he brings the table that’s all he got!!!!
JAY… f1 driver
- lol did i give my bias my fav sport… MAYBEEE
- lewis hamilton and max verstappens love child
- oh and he’s a red bull driver
- fashion ICON. always pulling up in the paddock best dressed
- serves cunt on the streets
- he would be a menace whenever you two go go karting.. leaving you in the dust i fear
- you’ll never catch him below p5
- those sassy radios
- you’ll always catch him being snarky on the grid and off the grid
- akshully, he would tweet like lewis in 2014
- “he’s sitting in the middle of the road doing nothing”
- always blowing a kiss to you when he’s on the podium
- the alchemy by ts “where’s the trophy and he just comes running over to me”
- oh he’s looking for you the second he’s out of that car
- he would single handedly bring back red bull dominance
- picturing jay in a red bull uniform.. it’s heavenly.
- sigh i need someone to write f1driver!jay
JAKE… soccer player
- this was a given
- HE PLAYS FOR REAL MADRID NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
- him & that team would get along tooooooo well
- constantly posting q&a on instagram
- this un media trained king
- always mentions you no matter what
- “how are you feeling for the next match?” “great.. so my gf-“
- first thing he’s doing after winning is pulling out his phone and filming
- “LIVE REACTION TO THE WINNING GOAL” and it’s a 25 sec clip of him and güler running around the field.
- his insta story is such a struggle to get thru bc it’s either clips of him and the team on the private jet or a ton of random ass q&as
- “what’s your plan for the next season?” “idrk but today i had waffles for breakfast 😍”
- his interviews are always the most entertaining bc he just says anything
SUNGHOON… hockey player
- this is because i can’t just do a freebie and give him ice skater 😞
- BUT HE DID PLAY FOR THE HOCKEY TEAM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE!!
- he’s not like the other hockey men tho, not overly aggressive
- he’s actually calm when he isn’t annoyed about losing
- one thing about him, he will drag it through the mud if he gets in the penalty box
- kicking ice and everything 😭
- lowk i see him as the teammate who isn’t very public with his personal life
- only time people see him smiling with 50 teeth is when he’s with u
- thinks of his job as more of a hobby
- “so what interested you in ice hockey!” “i was bored…”
- deffo plays for the national team
- just the most nonchalant person there
SUNOO… tennis player
- now hear me out
- blonde sunoo = art donaldson
- LIKE WOAHHHH!!!
- once again on the national team FOR SURE
- does not play when it comes to tennis (idk anything abt tennis 🤣)
- WILL huff and puff if it’s out
- SO sassy
- like side eye when they’re sipping water and changing rackets
- cannot play duos for the life of him
- but he’s GOOD
- nicest person ever out of the field tho
- interviewers love him because he knows how to appeal to fans
- cannot be mysterious for the life of him
- his insta posts are either him or pics of you AND him
- he actually hard launched you on his insta
JUNGWON… swimmer
- i mean,,, have u seen that body???
- the way he dances helps out a lot because he’s very flexible
- oh he’s for sure on the national AND olympic team
- i know a body of water hate to see him coming
- you two could be at the beach and suddenly he’s doing all this fancy shit
- likes to brag about how long he can hold his breath underwater
- like a child “look look! 30 seconds” like yes baby you go!!!
- his personality switches when he has a swim meet though
- literally rbf EVERYWHEREEEE
- the second he’s out of the water tho he’s back to normal
- unfortunately he isn’t a pr nightmare
- too media trained for his own good
RIKI… baseball player
- he’s gonna be eating that dodger dawg 25/8
- idk anything abt baseball so bear with me
- bro is locked in for every single game
- and you alr know he’s in the mlb (america RAHHHH)
- i think he’d play for the yankees
- riki belongs in nyc we know this
- a pr NIGHTMARE.
- his managers hate to see him coming bc he’s just doing anything
- “what do you think you could’ve improved in the last game?” “nothing i’m amazing shut up”
- he doesn’t take anyone’s bs
- not even his own teammates r safe from him
- his social media is full of goofy ass posts or posts that you collaborated with him on insta but it’s only aesthetic bc it’s from your page
- lowk i think he would occasionally posts those pics like he does on weverse like just insane amt of aura in one pic
- probably has a streaming account in this universe too
- “can we hurry this session up i have to stream at 7 😑”
- part time mlb player, full time twitch streamer actually
#enhypen reactions#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#heeseung fluff#heeseung reactions#jay fluff#jay reactions#heeseung x reader#jay x reader#enhypen scenarios#jake fluff#jake scenarios#jake reactions#jake x reader#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon reactions#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon scenarios#sunoo fluff#sunoo x reader#sunoo imagines#jungwon fluff#jungwon imagines#niki fluff#enhypen niki#niki imagines#niki reactions
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wildfire (cs) | two.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut
—word count: 4.3k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, very much giving slow burn till chapter 5 (sawwie hehe but san/oc drop more hints in ch 3-4), mingi tryna be matchmaker but san's mind is elseeewhere (which will add a lil more spice to the spice thats already planned lol), flashback scene that involves crying & hints of infidelity
"Wow, there's a lot more people here than I expected." You tippy-toe to look over the crowd, falling in line to get your freebies at the entrance of the winter quarter welcome event.
"Do you know where the boys are at?"
"They said they were coming?" Eunchae says, also looking around and over the crowd. The line inches quickly, bringing you closer to the free university-branded hats and water bottles they were giving out. Today's event was not only to set the tone for the quarter, but to showcase all the student groups, benefits, and wellness programs available for everyone. As soon as you grab your freebies, you, Eunchae and Jurin completely forget about the boys making their way over and start walking around to grab more. You find that one of the student groups is handing out reusable bags, which you gladly take one in order to walk around comfortably. You, Jurin and Eunchae also participate in a few small games and raffles, taking pictures at the photobooths set up. Some university staff snap photos of you three while you wait in line to cash in your free lunch voucher at one of the food trucks.
Once you've grabbed your food and settled down, the three of you find a good space on the lawn near the stage to slowly indulge in your food and the dessert. Namjoon is getting ready to start his speech for the event, while the other professors set to give a small talk are hovering off to the side engaging in conversation.
"Yo! Is anyone listening?" Professor Kim Namjoon, department chair of bioengineering, taps the mic a few times as he steps on the stage. He slowly paces around with a hand in his pocket, giving off a smile while he waits for everyone near the stage to quiet down and listen to his little speech. "Nice, nice. I'm grabbing attention, I still got it." He chuckles to himself. "Anyway, they had me come up here to kick off the welcome event. There's a good lineup of talks coming up, so please stick around for that. I promise it'll be worthwhile." Namjoon points to San. "Choi San is on the lineup. Kang Yeosang. Just to name a few. I know ya'll wanted to hear that in particular." He jokes. The crowd laughs when he gives everyone a certain look, scanning the crowd to read their expressions. "Alright, so another quarter—" Is how he starts his speech off, giving himself two minutes to give a heartwarming welcome to all the students, faculty and staff. The next session kicks off shortly after, with a few faculty members talking about their early days in their departments and what they're focusing on now.
After Namjoon wraps it up, he introduces San and kicks it off for him— giving him a big, warm smile as he greets him on the stage and hands him the mic. He's dressed in a thick, black half-zip sweater, black slacks and boots. You briefly glance around the crowd, all eyes glued to Professor Choi; lots of people looking at him in pure admiration just like you and your friends. His talk flows well, and he easily transitions from talking about his early career days to where he is now and what his focus is. He speaks with so much poise and grace, it's obvious he's incredibly passionate about what he does. He has a softness to him, a certain glint in his eyes while he slowly paces the stage and maintains contact with his crowd.
"He's so fucking dreamy, are you kidding?" Eunchae mumbles. You giggle and gently nudge her before returning your attention to the stage. Your eyes glance over to the side, smiling to yourself as Namjoon plays around with everyone around him. Professor Lee Iseul stands off to the side next to her husband, and they quietly remain to themselves. She watches as San does his talk, arms folded tightly against her chest and she couldn't look any more disinterested. You clearly don't know the full story, and it's definitely none of your business. But, you can't help but be a little curious as to what happened between her and Professor Choi and why she acts the way she does around him.
"Aye." Felix plops down next to you. "Where have you been, loca?" You snort, pushing him and causing him to almost fall to the side. "Ouch. We've been calling and texting!"
"Next time, don't be late." Jiung plops down next to him.
"We were trying to find the free smoothies and acai bowls!"
"Excuse me?" Jurin looks at Jiung. "Why didn't I know about this?!"
"Maybe cause you were too busy drooling over Professor Choi and his friends." Jurin sticks her tongue out at him. "It's over there. We just didn't get to it before coming to the lawn."
"I'm definitely going as soon as these talks are over."
"I want some, too!" Eunchae adds.
"We can go." You chime in.
"We're gonna lose you guys again!" Felix slightly whines.
"You won't! You can just sit here and save our spot." Eunchae smiles with some sass. "That way, we have our spots and you won't lose us."
"Fine." Felix clicks his teeth before returning his attention to the stage. The rest of the talks also go well— Yeosang taking the stage next after San, with a few other professors. Iseul does a talk, and although San doesn't care much for it, he at least tries his best to show some support in front of the crowd and be the bigger person.
He does it to just keep the peace. Mainly for Namjoon. San knows he did a lot to try and bury all the mess that went down, even got in trouble for trying to do so. Namjoon cares about San and his other friends, he'd do anything to protect them. But yes, there is no denying that it was a shit show.
Once all the talks have concluded, you, Eunchae and Jurin scurry off to the smoothie and acai booth, taking the boys' orders to kill two birds with one stone. The lawn and surrounding areas are back to being loud and chaotic with everyone trying to go around and finish grabbing freebies and samples, and participate in other games. You and your friends fall in line and wait for about 15 minutes before they've taken your orders, another 10 minutes before they've given you your drinks.
"Oh shit, this is good." Jurin sips on her drink as it sits in the carrier with Felix's and Jiung's.
"It is. The boys finally have a good eye." You snort.
"Leave them be."
"What! It's true! I didn't think they'd care much for the stuff here at the event, but here they are, putting on their favorite girls to free smoothies." You laugh, sipping on your own matcha smoothie. Once Eunchae has gotten her drink, the three of you start to make your way back towards the boys on the lawn.
"Oop—" You let out a small squeal, damn near coming face to face with Professor's Choi's chest when you turn. He's about to grab his own smoothie from the worker when you quite literally almost run into him trying to keep up with Eunchae and Jurin. "Oh, I'm sorry Professor Choi." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks even though you didn't do anything wrong.
"No worries. Good morning, ladies." Professor Choi flashes you, Eunchae and Jurin that 100-watt, dimpled smile that everyone is crazy head over heels for. He does a curt bow to acknowledge you and your friends properly, Eunchae and Jurin biting on their bottom lips to prevent themselves from smiling too big and giggling too loud. "How are you doing?"
"Good. Really good. Great talk, by the way!" Eunchae says, making him chuckle at her reaction. "How are you doing?"
"Aw, thanks. I'm good, can't complain. You guys having a good start to the quarter already?"
"I'd say so, yeah. Can't complain either." Jurin adds, holding onto the drink tray tightly. He nods, but turns his direct attention to you with a small smile. "Y/N. Excited to meet next week and talk about projects."
"I am, too." His eyes linger on yours for a little longer and Eunchae doesn't miss it. She gives your arm a good, subtle [but hard] squeeze— one that has you slightly squirming in her grip while trying to maintain eye contact with Professor Choi. He furrows his brows a bit when he catches it, trying his best not to chuckle at the way you and your friends are acting around him.
"Yo!" Mingi says, patting San's shoulder. His eyes go from him to the three girls in front, still lingering around. "Beautiful morning, ladies! Hope you're enjoying the event."
"Hi Professor Song." You all say dreamily, watching as the taller man chuckles and bounces to the music playing.
"Sorry to have to do this, but mind if I steal Professor Choi from you?"
"Go for it!" You respond. "See you next week, Professor Choi." You smile sweetly at him and he swears he feels his knees buckle a bit. He watches as the three of you turn and squeal, definitely talking about them as you continue to walk away and find other things to distract yourselves with.
"What's new?" Mingi laughs, making San chuckle.
"Stop it. They're just enjoying themselves." Mingi gives him a look that screams 'sure, whatever you say,' but he keeps it professional. Doesn't make any side comments and keeps it at bay, even though he enjoys the eye candy himself. They're still young. Although work and keeping up with their labs is tough, they're finally out of school— which their days only consisted of science, publishing papers, graduating ASAP and launching their own careers. Of course, they've had their shares in relationships, one night stands, situationships; whatever you wanna call it, all clearly not working out because of all the work they've had to put in. The attention they've had to put into their education, early careers. It has become such a norm for them that a relationship isn't even in their minds right now. Not because they don't want to, but because they're afraid. Afraid of not having enough time while they're still balancing their loads, afraid they'll accidentally put their relationships on a backburner. Afraid of things just falling out terribly. Mingi can honestly say he's afraid because of how San's marriage unfolded. Of course, all experiences are unique, but it still doesn't mean he can't be afraid of his own.
Once they've gotten a better hang of things, then maybe. Right now, everything seems risky. Everything.
"Mmkay." Mingi snorts. "Good talk earlier."
"Thanks, my guy." San smiles. "They asked me to do it last minute because someone else dropped the ball."
"That was a nice impromptu talk then." Mingi and San start walking down the path, greeting other faculty and students that pass them by. "How is your progress report going?"
"Almost done now that I've gotten my class schedule out of the way."
"You have two TAs this semester, right?"
"Mhm. Alex is actually doing a bulk of the classes, then the TAs. I'm teaching 8 classes this entire quarter."
"That's nice."
"What about you?"
"Around the same. I've got Doyun helping take over most lectures, along with the TAs."
"Can't believe it's another quarter."
"Time just flies." He nods towards another group of professors. "By the way, have you met the new Applied Physics professor? Zara?"
"What's her last name?"
"Cho."
"Oh." San nods. "Yeah, heard of her. I saw the announcement about her starting, but that's it."
"Let's go say hi." Mingi smirks, causing San to furrow his brows in confusion.
"Why?"
"Don't we like meeting new people?"
"For good reason, yeah. Not yours."
"Hey, mine is a good reason. Who says it isn't?" Mingi smiles. "You know, just making her feel welcomed." He lazily hangs his arm over her shoulder. "Discussing potential collaborations, joint advising." San rolls his eyes, shaking his head just as they approach the group.
"Yeah, let's keep it there."
"Maybe—" Mingi suddenly shifts his attention to the group as soon as they face him and greet the both of them. Phew, San thinks. Now he doesn't have to hear the stupid shit bound to come out of his mouth. "Hey!"
"I was looking for you two." Namjoon has hands dug deep into his pockets with that usual Namjoon smile of his, Yeosang on his free side. "Wanted to introduce you to Zara Cho." He looks down at her and gestures at the two. "Zara, this is Mingi and San. Both under bioengineering with me, Mingi in Biology by courtesy, too."
"Oh, I've heard all about you two." She smiles. She's got a beautiful smile, and San notices the way her eyes glaze over him the most. She's attractive, and she's softspoken; has a certain grace that she upholds. Her hair is in a pretty bob that comes right below her jawline, and it fits her well. "It's an honor, truly." She says, shaking their hands.
"So, how's it been on campus so far?" San asks.
"It's been alright, I think. Settling in well and trying to get a hang of things."
"Thats good! Taking it day by day." She nods in agreement with a small giggle. "How's getting the lab situated going?" Mingi chimes in.
"Ah, it's tough but I at least have a post-doc and grad student onboard." She shrugs.
"It's a start. Sooner or later, it'll be overflowing with them." She giggles and nods.
"Yeah, that's the hope." She fully turns to San again. "Now that I'm a bit settled, I was hoping we could chat a bit more, San." Mingi shoots him this certain Mingi look before slowly nodding with a smirk.
"Yeah, that'd be great."
"Don't you have a free schedule in the afternoon?" Mingi instigates, making San furrow his brows in confusion.
"Uh yeah, but I was hoping to—" Mingi nudges him.
"Sure you can make a few minutes, yeah?" Namjoon chuckles. San doesn't mean to shrug her off or anything. Truthfully, he can get pretty shy and he is aware of the work she does. He just doesn't wanna make a fool out of himself, and he wants to make sure their conversation is productive; as with any he has.
"We can meet any time, no worries."
"No, they're right. Later is good. My office is at the Harvey Center."
"I can stop by later in the afternoon if you're around? 4:30 or 5?"
"4:30 is good."
"Cool." She looks around before checking her watch. "Hate to cut this short, but I have to head back for a meeting." She gives everyone a curt bow. "See you all around?" Everyone says bye in their own ways before Namjoon and Yeosang close the gap in between them, Mingi and San.
"I knew I couldn't trust your reasoning." San glares at Mingi and he chuckles.
"Bruh, I told you. Collaborations and co-advisorships are in the works." Namjoon laughs.
"He's not entirely wrong but, she seemed to be a big fan of your work. Thought it'd be good to chat with her anyway."
"I don't trust you guys." Yeosang snorts.
"Just have a good productive meeting." Yeosang pauses. "And if it ever flourishes into anything, we'll be right there to support—"
"I knew it. I'm heading back to my office." San starts to walk away from the group, sipping on this smoothie.
"Just want you happy!" Namjoon yells.
"I am already!" San smirks before saluting at the three and heading back to the Harvey Center. He greets people on the way over to his office, checking in on a few of his lab members before shutting himself away in his office. San likes to think he's happy. He feels happy. He doesn't think he's lacking anywhere even though for the longest time, he felt like he was after his marriage fell apart. It took him a long time to get to where he is now, and he hopes he'll never go back to feeling that way. Feeling hurt, lost. Betrayed.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey." Jongho looks at San with concern, stepping aside to let him into his home. San gives him a forced, tiny smile, but doesn't say much— immediately making his way to Jongho's couch. Jongho can tell it's been a rough couple of days, San looking more exhausted than he's ever seen him. His eyes are red. Hair's a mess. He can tell San hasn't had a proper meal or sleep, yet he's still coming into work like he's okay.
He can only imagine how difficult it is. To have someone go from being your world— to absolutely nothing. Your bestfriend being the most trusted person on earth— to nothing.
"What's going on?" Jongho feels like it's such a stupid question, but he isn't sure how to break the silence right now and he needs to. He watches San sink into the couch and just let out a sigh, and it's clear he's about to release everything he's been holding in. "What happened?" Jongho repeats in a different form.
"Where the fuck did I go wrong?" Jongho sees his bottom lip trembling before he buries his head into his hands and starts sobbing. It breaks his heart to see his bestfriend like this; he wishes he could tell him everything will be okay because he knows it will, even though it feels like miles away right now. He wishes that'll be enough. He wishes he could just take the pain away and shove it somewhere else. Because someone like San, someone who loves hard and deep, someone who is loyal until the very end, doesn't deserve this.
"You didn't go wrong anywhere. It was never you, San."
"Why would they do this to me? Why didn't she just talk to m-me about everything? How could she do that so easily?" He continues to mumble as he cries, Jongho rubbing a hand down his back. He truly hates this. He has never seen San so defeated.
Destroyed.
"Because they're both immature and didn't care. I know this is a lot easier said than done but this isn't worth it. You don't need her. You don't need him. They don't deserve you and you'll find someone who'll truly love you for you and who wouldn't even dare do this to you. I'm sorry it had to happen to you, but I promise you'll find someone better. Worth everything. Let yourself feel this out and process it, but once you do, brush it off and continue to move on." San doesn't say anything because Jongho is right; he still needs to process this, and he still needs to feel this out in order to properly move on.
"Jongho, I don't even know how I'll make it past this. I really don't know how I can."
"You will. Give yourself some time, but in the end, you'll come out stronger and you'll realize why all of this was never meant for you in the first place. There's always a reason, one being that something way better is in the works." San doesn't say anything, but he continues to cry. He continues to wallow in his sadness, what's left of his heart crumbling to pieces and shattering. He knows this is only temporary— but that light, the 'better' that Jongho speaks of, seemed so, so far away.
Unreachable.
—END
San shakes off the thoughts and continues to power through his work, getting through other emails and lab financials he needs to sort through. He's also skimming over his class schedule and hopping into a quick kick-off call with his TAs and lecturers this quarter.
Sooner or later, time flies on by and he's wrapping things up, getting ready to meet with Zara. He realizes he didn't give her any details on how to get to his office, so he grabs his phone and heads upstairs to wait for her.
"Hi!" She rushes in, heels clicking against the floor. "Sorry, I'm running a few minutes late." San chuckles and shakes his head.
"No, don't even worry about it. I, uh.. just realized I never gave you proper directions to my office and the lab." San digs his hands into his pockets and presses the button to the elevator. "How was the rest of your day?"
"Good, busy. Just feels like it's nonstop." She giggles, stepping in next to him but with some distance.
"Mm, yeah. I get that feeling all too well." He laughs. "But, it'll settle in due time." Luckily, the elevator ride isn't too awkward and it's quick— prompting San to step out and lead her down the basement hallway. "I can show you around the lab."
"Do you still have lab members lingering around?"
"Oh, always. They're always holed up in a behavior room or doing surgeries. Some of them really just prefer to work late nights so they don't have to share the space and equipment with anybody."
"Makes sense." She smiles up at him and he nods. He continues to show her around, taking her room by room; allowing her to see his wetbench lab space, his behavior rooms, laser rooms and the mice. She's impressed by how tidy and kept together the lab is despite so many people running around and being together in one space. It's bound to get messy and chaotic, and it does, sometimes. He explains that he tries really hard to keep his space clean and organized, emphasizing it to his lab members so much that they do actually listen especially when it's time for them to go and start their own careers. He's never had a problem with anyone leaving mess behind. He always tells people it's a space for another person to grow and they take that to heart. It's the least they could do after San has been nothing but supportive of them during their time in the lab.
Afterwards, he takes her into his office and she compliments him on all his awards. He rubs at his chin to brush off the heat rising to his cheeks, sitting onto computer chair to talk to her a little more about her plans. She even turns to him for advice about how to keep things steady once they get going, how to tour the labs with donors properly, how to successfully snag grants and funding for the future. The conversation turns out to be a long, productive one, even though San doesn't feel like he's qualified enough to give great advice. Yes, he's done most of it on his own but a lot of it was through Namjoon's guidance. He does slip that in there, giving her a nudge to talk to him a bit further about the perfect grants to go for at this stage, things to do to keep recruiting great postdocs and lab students, funding in the meantime. She appreciates all the guidance and help— so much that the conversation continues even as San packs up and heads out of the office with her.
He does enjoy their conversation, but he definitely could tell you he wouldn't take this anywhere even if his friends tried to push him into doing so. He respects her, he respects her work and he respects her as a colleague.
"Look, look, look!" Eunchae grabs your arm and pulls you aside. She stops in her tracks and nods towards the other side of the street, spotting San speaking to Zara. "He's talking to the new applied physics professor. Professor Cho or something."
"I heard a bit about her work. She's really smart."
"And pretty." You nod in agreement. "He's legit walking her to her car and everything. What if they're into each other already?! Or, do you think it's a tap and dash thing? Do you think Professor Choi is an undercover hoe?"
"Girl?" You look at her questioningly. "What do I do with you?" You laugh and playfully nudge her. "Professor Choi is probably just trying to be a good colleague to her."
"Yeah, okay. She's definitely interested, though. Look at the way she looks up at him. I mean, who wouldn't be?"
"Definitely can't get anything by you, can I?"
"Nope. I'm excited for your rotation with him."
"Excited for the wrong reasons." You playfully run a hand down her hair. "Get out of your head, missy." She snorts.
"I can only dream and live through you." You laugh and link your arm with hers, carrying onto the gym. Meanwhile, Zara finds her way to her car with San in tow.
"Well, it was great talking to you, San." San smiles and nods, watching as Zara gets into her car in one of the smaller lots near the Harvey Center. "Thanks for showing me around your lab and for all your advice."
"Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything else. Happy to help. Maybe I can swing by once your lab is settled and kicking off." She nods. "But, definitely try to catch Namjoon and get that old man's wisdom." She laughs.
"Of course. Will do. Have a good rest of your evening." He gently taps the hood of her car before giving her a small nod.
"You as well, drive safely." He waits until she gets settled in her car and drives off before slowly walking over to his car in the usual lot he parks at. He catches sight of you and Eunchae walking towards the gym, your laughs echoing as you seem to be joking around, playfully pushing each other and in good spirits. Hearing your laugh brings a small smile to his face, remembering the events earlier today.
He can't help but be a little flattered, even a little curious as to what exactly you think about him.
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#choi san x reader#ateez fanfiction#ateez imagines#kpop imagines#ateez series#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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happy 37th TLB anniversary, my store is now reopened :-) https://otonokis.bigcartel.com 🦇🦇🦇🦇
🖤 As stated, the plush preorder period is planned to last two weeks starting from today (July 31st) and will close the night of August 14th (PST).
🖤 Due to these being a preorder, please also note that it will take a few months after the purchase for the ordered plushes to be manufactured, sent to me, then finally packaged and shipped out. Thank you for your interest, patience, + support!
🖤 [08-15-24] Preorders are now closed! To those who have placed one, first of all, thank you!! Like I've touched upon before, my store site has a page dedicated to updates on these preorders so I'll keep that updated (and post about it here when I do) as progress unfolds and I get more concrete details about timing and such. The next step is for me to get back in touch with my manufacturers so basically for now all yall have to do now is chill n wait..! As I've talked about a bit before, I'll be chipping away at work on the freebie set / other smaller merch so I'd say there's that to look forward to :-)
Again, thank you everyone for your interest, messages, and most of all (and again) patience and support! It's really surreal to encounter such overwhelming enthusiastic and positive recognition towards my work :,)
#tlb#art#plushy#the lost boys#paul the lost boys#dwayne the lost boys#david the lost boys#marko the lost boys#michael emerson
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༊*·˚ Home is Where the Heart is ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
Dior Goodjohn x fem!reader
synopsis: You and Dior are long distanced and she decides to surprise you by coming to visit you for your birthday.
warnings: fluff, fluff, and fluff
a/n: this is not my best writing ever i just wanted to get this out while i work on the Summer fic
You and Dior have been in a long-distance relationship for about a year and a half now. You met on the set of Percy Jackson and instantly clicked; she ended up asking you out two months into filming. After season one wrapped, she went back home to LA, and you returned to your hometown. You haven't seen each other in person since filming wrapped six months ago, because you're still in school. You guys text multiple times a day and FaceTime at least once a day, but it's still hard for both of you. Especially for you since your love language is physical touch, and you just like to have physical connections with people. Your birthday was coming up, so Dior thought it would be an amazing idea if she came and surprised you. She planned it all out with your family; she would fly in on your actual birthday and stay for a month.
Today was finally your birthday. You woke up to look at your phone and found a bunch of birthday wishes from friends, family, and even fans. But none from the person that mattered most to you. You didn't think she would ever forget your birthday. Maybe she just wasn't awake yet, even though it was currently noon, which means it was 9 in LA, and she's always up before 9. But you just decided not to worry about it. You still had the whole day. You were really bummed that she wouldn't be able to come for your birthday, but you understand that she's busy with her music and everything. You got out of bed, took a shower, and got ready for the day. You and your best friend decided to go shopping for your birthday. You visited all your favorite stores, getting all of your birthday freebies. By the time you and your best friend headed home, it was around 4 o’clock, and you've yet to get a message from Dior, which made you visibly disappointed. Your best friend kept seeing you checking your messages every few minutes and finally decided to say something.
“I’m sure she didn't forget; you know her, she's always busy with something.”
“Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone but her has wished me a happy birthday though. Like even at the mall, those fans who came up to us to say happy birthday, I didn't even know them. And I thought she would be one of the first to say it.”
You finally arrived home and went straight upstairs to put your bags down and take off your shoes. You were home for around 30 minutes when you finally heard the doorbell ring.
“Y/N, someone's here for you,” your mom yelled. You had no clue who it could be; you weren't expecting anyone.
“Coming!” you yelled back to your mom. You hurried down the stairs to the front door, and standing there was Dior with her bags and a gift. She looks just as beautiful as she always does.
“Hey, baby,” she said, smiling.
You had absolutely no idea how to react; you were definitely not expecting this at all. You ran to her and jumped to hug her. As she held and hugged you, you started to tear up.
“I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.”
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren't able to come.”
“I wanted to surprise you, sweet girl.”
“How long are you staying?”
“For a month.”
“Oh my gosh, no way!”
“Way!”
“OMG, and Mom, you knew about this?”
Your mom just smiled and nodded.
“Yep, and so did your best friend.”
“OMG!! I cannot believe this; I thought you forgot my birthday!”
“I could never forget your birthday, mamas.”
You and Dior share a passionate kiss, the weight of her surprise visit lifting a heavy burden off your shoulders. In that moment, all the worries and doubts melted away, replaced by the warmth of her presence. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The month that followed was a whirlwind of joy and reconnection. Every day felt like a treasure, filled with laughter, adventures, and stolen moments of affection. Whether it was exploring your hometown together, cooking meals side by side, or simply cuddling on the couch watching movies, every second was cherished. On the day of her departure, you stood at the airport, hand in hand, hearts heavy with the weight of impending separation.
"I wish we lived closer," you managed to say, your voice breaking slightly as you fought back tears, the airport's din muffling your words.
Dior's eyes softened, mirroring the sorrow in your own as she squeezed your hand gently. "I know, darling. It's hard saying goodbye every time," she murmured, her voice tinged with empathy.
You leaned into her embrace, seeking solace in the warmth of her presence amidst the impersonal hustle of the airport. "I hate it when you leave," you stated simply, your voice carrying a mix of longing and frustration, the airport's commotion providing a stark backdrop to your heartfelt confession.
Dior's arms wrapped around you, holding you close as if trying to shield you from the pain of separation. "I feel it too, love. It never gets any easier," she whispered, her breath warm against your ear.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you buried your face in her shoulder, the weight of longing settling heavily in your chest. "I just wish we could be together more often," you confessed, your voice barely audible above the noise of the crowd.
Dior's fingers brushed through your hair soothingly, her touch a silent reassurance. "Me too, sweetheart. But no matter the distance, you'll always have my heart," she vowed, her words a promise of enduring love.
And as you stood together in the midst of the bustling airport terminal, surrounded by the chaos of departure, you found solace in the simple act of being together, knowing that no matter where life may take you, your love would always be a constant, guiding light in the darkness.
this is unusually short because I didn't know how to end it
taglist: @asvterias
#dior goodjohn#clarisse la rue x reader#writers#dior goodjohn x reader#pjo#percy jackson#clarisse la rue#summer dacosta#fanfic#fanfiction#author#travel#wlw#sapphic#bisexual#lesbian#fluff#cute#angst#life#for you#relationship#love#wife#delulu#taylor swift#x reader#yn#x yn#female reader
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ateez nsfw links 🫧
Park Seonghwa
Park Seonghwa loves to go live and entertain his fans. All those legos, food, talk and more have you sighing of boredom in his hotel room. You are sitting on Hongjoong’s bed, behind Seonghwa’s screen, in a not so innocent position. You make him stutter in front of the camera, and you laugh every time he has to stop talking for a moment. When you stretch your body and crack your back in a doggy position, he is in a hurry to end his live and join you on that bed.
“I could turn that live back on just like that, with the camera facing you.”
Kim Hongjoong
Kim Hongjoong doesn’t necessarily require much attention. He is very much satisfied with you squirming under him. You are tipsy in the passenger seat, teasing Hongjoong about the couple you saw fucking in the club toilet and how it turned you on. He listens to you rant about how fast he fingered her and how loud she was moaning over the music. At some point, you even say you wish you could cum so many times in a row. And so while you beg him to stop, but don’t shout the safe word yet, he is completely focused in the way his knuckles disappear inside of you, his knees holding your legs apart and tongue on your clit.
“How many more until I prove my point?”
Jeong Yunho
Jeong Yunho looked absolutely dashing at today’s stage, and you’re sick and tired of scrolling through all the husband Yunho tweets from fans. You are jealous that they got to see him in that shirt and that hair before you. You’ve gotten all dolled up, waiting for him to arrive, but in the meantime, you’ve seen quite a few edits from today that made you pissed off again. So when he comes back home and realises why you’re running from his affection, he has to take the matter in his own hands and show you that only you get to feel the shirt on him.
“Jealous of your husband’s fans, when you’re such a pretty wife?”
Kang Yeosang
Kang Yeosang wants to make your first time absolutely perfect. He takes his time making out with you, feeling your body up, gently rubbing your most sensitive spots, until you are dripping through your panties and staining his trousers. But when he sees that you are not quite ready, he takes a different approach, one that is pleasurable for both of you.
“You’re so good for me.”
Choi San
Choi San is a gamer, and sometimes it pisses you off that he spends so much time sitting at the computer. You confront him, not realising that he hasn’t disconnected from Discord yet. He bites the inside of his cheek, containing his amusement mixed with anger as you go off and his friends laugh through the headphones. Once you’re finished, he mutes himself, throwing the headphones aside and pushing you over the desk. At some point, he unmutes himself, just to show his friends that you’re good at yelling about other things too.
“Yell at me some more, I didn’t quite get it the first time.”
Song Mingi
Song Mingi enjoys all the freebies you get as an influencer. From free snacks, free movie tickets, to perfumes, and lingerie he gets to see on you and rip off you. However, todays package was different. They were temporary long lasting tattoos, and he remembers you telling him how attractive you think they are. He witnessed you complimenting Wooyoung and Hongjoong, but he wasn’t quite yet willing to get one himself. So when he got permission from you to open the package while you aren’t home, he prepared a little surprise that had you gasping when you arrived home. Needless to say, he was enjoying the attention you were giving him.
“All the way down, like a good girl.”
Jung Wooyoung
Jung Wooyoung is happy his partner has finally debuted. He is also aware of the mature concept the company has decided to give you. You didn’t show him any songs or outfits until the album and MV came out. But before that, you performed it in front of fans on the show he’s been on countless times. He wasn’t quite prepared for that mature. Stockings, a leather dress, platform boots, and dark smeared lipstick, along with the upbeat song and dance moves, almost gave him a heart attack while standing aside and watching live. And yet you wonder how you ended up with the fishnet gloves in your mouth back in his hotel room, his hands firm on your waist.
“Fuck noona, giving me a VIP show? Think I deserve it? That I’m your biggest most loyal fan?”
Choi Jongho
Choi Jongho gives his all when he performs. How funny that a video of just him sitting during Cyberpunk went viral. Now, whenever he sits, you get horny. Especially with that focused, half angry look on his face. You haven’t said anything yet, but when he comes home from practice and plops down on the couch, throwing his head over the backrest of it, you lose it. You get on his lap, unable to control yourself. He is confused, but doesn’t complain. Neither do you when he plunges his cock into you, looking into your eyes with the same stare as in the video.
“I’ll take good care of you.”
#ateez#ateez imagine#ateez smut#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#seonghwa smut#hongjoong smut#yeosang smut#san smut#yunho smut#jongho smut#wooyoung smut#mingi smut#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#mingi x reader#yeosang x y/n#yeosang x reader#wooyoung x reader#choi san x reader#yunho x reader#choi jongho x reader#jongho x reader#ateez scenarios
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Freebie!! May the house be as cooperative as possible
Logan sipped his coffee and half listened to the shower in the bathroom, keeping an ear out in case you fell or something. And tried not to hear you trying to- well.
Because that was driving him crazy. He wanted to help so bad he thought he was gonna bust. He appreciated you trying to be discrete about it though. You probably didn't understand how good his hearing actually was. Even if you did know how good his sense of smell was now- good enough to pick out changes in your scent.
But the banging on the door and Trigger barking interrupted his thoughts- and his planning.
He went to the door and looked in the peephole to see a barrel-shaped woman with steel gray, poodle-permed hair and an oxygen tank. "What the fuck-"
"Y/N will you open the damned door?" she barked. "I know you're there I can hear the damn dog."
Logan heard the shower turn off and the thud of you opening and closing dresser drawers "FUCK! Logan? Can you-"
"Got it, Princess," he said unbolting the door and taking a deep breath. There goes his nice calm day. He can feel you in the bedroom, already whipped into a frenzy. "Can I help you?"
"Where's Y/N?" she demanded. "And who are you?"
"Mom," you tell her appearing next to him and nudging him out of the way gently. "This is Logan. What- why didn't you call?"
"Since when do I have to call to see my daughter?" she scoffed, barging past both of you and flopping herself down in an armchair, almost like she was striking a pose. A queen expecting tribute.
Logan can feel you assessing the room. Taking stock. Calculating. And he can hear your heart racing as you flit towards the kitchen to make coffee for her. And put a cinnamon roll, the one you were saving for later on a plate to go with it. "Since the time you came to visit and I was at an event in Ohio-"
"You should have told me," she scolded. "You never tell me anything. Wade told me everything."
Logan stifled a snort turning it into a cough and followed you, "What can I do?" he muttered. Your hands were trembling. He could hear things knocking together from the livingroom.
"Call Wade. Tell him to stay out of here today. Then call Vanessa and tell her the same," you murmur, lips barely moving.
He nodded and took the cup and the plate from the counter for you, taking it to your mom.
"How'd you get here?" you ask, starting a cup of tea.
"Your Aunt Charlene, 'o course," she answered, inspecting the cinnamon roll. "You make this?"
"Yesterday-"
"It's dry. What's with all the baby shit?"
Logan freezes halfway to the bedroom. Listening. Phone in hand. He knew you had to control a story here. Were you going to tell her? If you didn't tell her- How were you going to explain it when there was a baby? Or if she dropped by and you were ready to pop?
"I- do you want a glass of milk? You said that was dry."
"Ugh. I don't want it, sweetie. You got anything else?"
"Sure, mom. Gimme a minute. I'll make you something for lunch. It's a long trip. Aunt Charlene didn't want to stay?"
"You know her," she snorted.
Logan exhaled and listened to you take the plate and head back to the kitchen. Wondering how many times HE put you in this spot. Managing his emotions. How many times they'd all done it to you. Your heart was still racing and now it seemed like the rhythm wasn't going to slow down. Hovering just below utter panic.
"You really should lay off the sweets," he hears, "you're getting fat."
That made him crinkle his nose in distaste. Hardly. Even if you weren't pregnant, he was pretty sure there was some shit you just didn't say.
___________
"Hey, Peanut," Wade said, "Y/N putting a hit out on you or-"
"Your mom's at her apartment, numbnuts," he hissed. "Call Vanessa and tell her. Don't wanna leave her alone too long."
"Shit," Wade groaned. "Listen. Keep your head down. Keep your mouth shut. And just- whatever witchcraft she does let her do it."
"Whatever," Logan said hanging up. It wasn't witchcraft. It was you standing in front and taking body blows for the rest of them. It was you weaving a web and doing a whole song and dance to make it all work to protect them. And he could take a few if it meant it gave you some space to breathe.
_____________________
Logan walked back out into a tirade about how everything was going wrong with the house. About how YOU had to fix it. Because WADE would have done it because he was such a good boy. A good son. And now that he was dead-
"I'll come take a look at it if you want," Logan said, taking a seat next to you on the couch. putting an arm around you possessively.
"Who're you?"
"Logan is my boyfriend," you explain, "he does construction-"
"You definitely don't wanna get fat if you wanna keep that one," she said, looking at him properly.
Logan half shrugged and pulled you closer, "She's not getting fat, trust me. She gets too much cardio for that."
When the other woman laughs and you go tense, feigning amusement at your own expense, he winces internally.
'Gotta go watch my pans," you tell him, getting up.
"None of that fancy roasted shit," Your mother called. "Cook those vegetables the RIGHT way. Like I taught you-"
"Of course mom," you hum.
Hiding. You were hiding. And he knew it. But he understood it- sort of. Too many variables. Too many emotions to need to control. You were emotional. And all you could do right now was cook. So you cooked. If you were busy and helpful no one was going to be mad at you. Not him not your mom. Not anyone.
And All Logan could do was keep her talking about the house and not the size of your ass. Drinks filled. Bones for the dog. Plates on the table. It was a flow. You faded into the background.
Taking the complaints and the demands. Serving a meal and keeping things comfortable. It set Logan's teeth on edge watching your mother treat you like the help in your own home.
But by the time she left and you handed her a check just to get her out the door, he was furious. You shut the door behind her and slid down it, wrapping your arms around Trigger and burying your face in the fur of his neck. Just sobbing.
"Princess," he said softly, "com'ere?" He felt helpless.
The dog whined and pressed closer to you, laying across your lap when you let him go. "I'm okay," you mumble. "Feel like shit but-"
Logan nodded and took a seat on your other side, "Bet you wish you could have a drink, huh?"
"So fucking much," you huff, leaning against his side. "Usually when she leaves I buy a bottle of wine and order sushi."
He smiled a little and kissed the top of your head. "Promise. I'll make sure you get your wine and sushi as soon as you finish pushing."
"That might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," you tell him.
"Also," he snorted. "You're not getting fat. You're pregnant- she's just a fucking cunt."
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"Okay, okay, calm down.. Still life models aren't meant to be sexual, and if you find that to be a challenge for you, I'll have to ask you to leave the class. Artists need these kind of skills, and learning anatomy is incredibly important. Try to be an adult, please." Lucifer said, looking around the room. Sure, it was a college class, but most of the students were still just horny teenagers larping as adults. The idea they'd get to see a naked model was titillating to them.
"Now, let me see who our model is for today." Lucifer hummed, flipping through the paperwork Lilith had left him. They might be divorced now, but they still got along while teaching, both enjoying art enough to see eye to eye on that at least.
"Adam?" Lucifer read out in the middle of the circle of student easels, getting a curious look from a few of them. "Which Adam? She didn't tell me who-"
The door swung open and a tall man sauntered in, in a bath robe and nothing else. He looked entirely at ease with himself, sending finger guns at a couple students, and smacking one on the back. Lucifer went fifteen shades deeper of red, before going white as shock and horror set in.
"Coach?" One girl said, with wide (terrified) eyes as she looked up upon her soccer coach.
"Sup," Adam greeted her, before making his way to the front of the circle, standing in front of Lucifer. "Lily asked me to do this, so I'm here. You want me nude?"
Lucifer nearly choked on his tongue, "y-"
"Cool," Adam said, pulling off the robe, to small noises of surprise throughout the room. Lucifer felt his brain turn into static as he looked Adam up and down. From dusky nipples hidden under a haze of chest hair, down to his-
Why would Lilith do this to him?! She knew how he felt! She knew he was his freebie when they were married! And now he was fully nude in front of him, and wow the cold room air really didn't affect him that much- no, Lucifer cursed himself. Stop thinking like that!
But what did his ass look like?
"Lucifer?" Adam waved a hand in front of him. "Professor Morningstar, wake the fuck up, you're drooling."
"No, I'm not!" Lucifer protested, wiping at his face to scattered giggles in the classroom. "Actually, class is dismissed, we can't do this today, sorry everyone. Can't do it. Not today." Lucifer said, hurrying over to his desk, trying to busy himself with paperwork so he didn't look quite so obvious.
"Try to be an adult, Mr Morningstar." A student leered at him mockingly, waggling his eyebrows.
"Shut up, Angel." Lucifer hissed at him.
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