#so you adapt and cut what you need to and this varies from story to story

[chaosnojutsu]

in regards to the “he would not fucking say that” phenomenon. read and write and draw what you want. be self aware though. like you have full liberty to re-imagine your blorbo cinnamon roll old man waifu however you want to, and i sincerely hope you have fun doing that. i LOVE doing that, and i LOVE when people experience and share and relate to the silly little ideas i’ve put out there. i will say, i’ve found that when making the art, it’s more freeing to fully acknowledge the fact that outside of your x reader fics and headcanons and funnies and various arts, he would not fucking say that.

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override (6)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: I hope you all have found ways to cope after the breakup, but here all your questions will be answered on what went down pre-August! Special shoutout to @just-fics-station @thepurplecrown @clarkysblog @hotdismylife and @sprinklesprinkle888 for sharing your ideas and indulging me with the lovely, crazy discourse!

To everyone, I am so chuffed at how this has become OUR story - our lil self-indulgent Ewan Nation production. You all are aces <3

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

In the aftermath of the breakup, the reader and Ewan throw themselves into their work, trying (and failing) to avoid any trace of the other. Will they remain this way - former lovers doomed to drift in each other's orbit?

Some time before August

New York City

The lush office was laden with expensive wooden antiques, one side with built-in shelves displaying film awards and plaques of varying degrees of prestige. A full glass minibar occupied the other side.

The casting director introduced himself as Bruce, insisting that Ewan call him by his first name and not any of that "sir or similar stick-up-the-ass names". Ewan can see him as a mentor or maybe even a friend, Bruce insisted.

After all, they were going to help each other out a lot.

The discussion was straightforward enough, never mind the saccharine tone Bruce seemed to be so good at. Aimed at making Ewan feel welcome, coddling him, remarking with awe at his projects thus far. But there was a fakeness to it. Ewan steeled himself, trying to adapt to the style of conversation. After all, if he is in this for the long haul, then he would have to get used to these situations.

Bruce appraised him, leaning back on his leather swivel chair. "How are you with the fantasy genre? All that YA, lovesick stuff the kids eat up so eagerly nowadays? Personally, I haven't got the taste for it, but it always makes bank, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well, I'm a fan of all movies. I definitely see why the fantasy genre has made such an impact on audiences, especially with the romance element, you know, I get the appeal."

"Well, son, we've got a solid franchise in our hands here. Some adaptation of an elf-human love story, mind you, it sound ridiculous, but you know how it is. And the team seems to be in agreement - you fit the bill for the male lead. The male elf lead - " he almost guffawed at the thought, then collected himself " - hope you don't mind my saying that you've got elvish features yourself. Long nose, long jaw, lanky. The teens are going to eat you up."

"Ah," Ewan smiled curtly, nodding. There was a backhanded compliment if he ever heard one. "Well, sir, I've read the script - at least, the bit that was sent to me - and it looks quite promising. I'd be honoured to - "

"Of course, of course!" Bruce exclaimed in pleasure, cutting Ewan off mid-sentence. "And there's the case of your leading lady, and this all boils down to chemistry as you know. Our top contender is that Jenna Ortega girl from the Netflix show, you know her?"

Ewan nodded, well aware. He's seen her work, and thinks that she is a top actress of her generation, but leave it to Bruce to reduce her to being that girl from the Netflix show.

"Yes, she's a very talented actress," Ewan replied.

Bruce hums in agreement, head bobbing as a smirk materialises on his face. "Think she's a looker?" he said openly, without shame.

Ewan laughed nervously, his words caught in his throat.

Bruce, characteriscally oblivious to the discomfort of others, carried on. "I only ask because we're going to need you two to be pretty chummy with each other when you jump on this project. It's kind of a condition of the whole thing, but really nothing to concern yourself with." He waved a hand in the air, his proposition barely carrying any weight in his mind. But Ewan was catching on, and he started to develop a dislike about the whole deal.

"What do you mean?" Ewan asked.

"It's pretty common in this business, son. There's a reason why young, new actors like yourself opt to remain unattached so to speak, so they're always open to a PR arrangement or, you know, just so their - your - hoards of fans would think they got a chance with you," Bruce explains lazily. "In this case, since you and Ortega are, as I said, unattached, getting you two together would fuckin' do wonders for our movie."

Our movie, he said, convinced that Ewan was all in, because why would any young actor refuse such a golden opportunity? Franchises like this can set up an entire mainstream Hollywood career.

Ewan thought that he wasn't unattached. Granted, his date with you was yet to happen, but he already felt bound to you. He wished you were the one tapped to be his love interest. Very little acting would be needed there. Maybe he might even be inclined to go along with the idea of selling the relationship, using it for publicity for the film, but even that made him uneasy.

The industry offered a lot of privileges, but more often than not, they come at a cost.

"Sir, I - "

"Bruce."

"Right, sorry. Bruce, I have to tell you that I'm not exactly unattached."

"Got a partner?"

Ewan actually found himself smiling at the thought of you being called his partner. His first easy smile since entering this office. "Yes, she's an actress herself," he agreed.

"I heard of her?" Bruce asked with obvious disinterest. You were but a wedge in his flawless plan.

"She's kind of a new talent like me, but she's brilliant. She plays Alyna Rivers in our show."

"Ah her," Bruce loosened up a little. "I get it, she's a piece."

Ewan cleared his throat loudly, his jaw clenching on instinct. "So, like I said, I'm with her. I'm sorry but this whole PR arrangement with Jenna wouldn't work."

"Look, kid, I want my movie to do well, alright? I got a lot invested here. This PR thing has proven to be highly bankable time and time again. If you don't trust me, I can ask the team to show you the data on all that. It's a lot of boring numbers, but shit, the numbers are never wrong."

"I don't need to see - "

"If you wanna be with your girl, you can, but you just gotta learn to hide it. Sweep it under the rug, you know. Don't canoodle in public, you crazy kids," Bruce offered, like that made things any better.

"You want me to hide my relationship?"

"Hey, now, come on. Word gets around. Isn't your girl also doing this exact same thing with Jacob Elordi?"

"Not anymore, I don't think," Ewan clarifies, "and that was... that was hardly anything. They weren't obligated to do it. It just worked by chance because they were both single for a time."

"Po-ta-to, po-tah-to." Bruce clicked his tongue before making his next point. "So you see how it works, your thing with Ortega won't be any different."

"Do I have a choice?" There it is, the defining factor.

Bruce smiled slowly. The calculating and menacing air about him intensified, and it was obvious he was not there to be Ewan's friend.

"It would be stupid to refuse something like this, kid."

Ewan's blue eyes flashed in return. None of this was ideal, but his nan raised him well, and he knew better than to falter on his values in times of trial.

"Sir, what's stupid is if you ask me to hide my real relationship for the sake of mere publicity for a film."

"Stupid you say?" Bruce sneered, having already discarded Ewan in his mind, his fragile ego bruised. "What a shame."

There wasn't much to say after that. Bruce was clearly not disinclined to reveal the ice that settled in his veins, and it dawned on Ewan that it had always been the case. There was no true hospitality here.

For bigwig casting director-slash-execs like Bruce, this was a transaction. And Ewan was not about to put what he has, or what he could have, with you on the line.

There has to be another way to advance his career. If not bigger productions, then at least those with less domineering producers.

"That is a shame," Ewan said, getting up from his seat. "I won't waste any more of your time, sir. Thank you for considering me."

Bruce's eyes darkened even further. "You're actually refusing me? For some girl?"

Another genuine smile formed on Ewan's face at the thought of you. Some girl.

But you're not just some girl. He nodded without a trace of doubt in his mind, before reaching out to shake Bruce's hand. "If you don't mind, sir... I have to go and see my darling."

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Near the end of August

Los Angeles

The modern space sported a minimalist yet rustic feel, the interiors a blend of sterile white and sleek wooden surfaces. Very LA, as they say. The windowed walls offered plenty of light, as well as precious views of the valley below.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Donna," you greeted Ewan's publicist as she ushered you in her LA office.

"No problem at all, sweetheart," she said. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some coffee or tea? Ewan always has his coffee with way, way too much sugar. Mind you, if that kid wasn't active and boxing all the time, I'd be worried for his health."

You smiled fondly at her genuine concern. "Don't even mention the cigarettes."

"Oh, yeah," she scoffed, settling down on the chair across from you. She could have sat down at her desk, making the meeting more official, but Donna's always had a friendly and open way about her. "So, my sweet, how's your new movie coming up?"

You respond eagerly. The dialogue flowed freely, talking about your film and the lukewarm reception of season 2 of House of The Dragon. And finally, Ewan.

"I really thought he would get the Greta Gerwig film," you said. "Everyone said he was perfect for it. I think Greta herself had nothing but praises for him when they met on Zoom."

She sighed thoughtfully, "I thought so too. And, theoretically, he did have that one almost booked up. But there was an issue with one of the producers, which - I don't even want to get into that."

You shook your head, catching on whom she hinted at. "Donna, I heard... well, it didn't go too well in New York, didn't it? Ewan told me about it but... if you can tell me more, I just want to understand why - "

"Sweetheart," she offered a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes, "you should talk about this with Ewan."

"I tried. But he wouldn't budge. Mallory told me... that it might have been because of me that he didn't get the role? And also why he's struggling to get roles now? Donna, I... I can't have that."

It took some time for her to formulate a response. She didn't want to step in something that's none of her business. Your relationship with Ewan is yours. But when his career is on the line, she supposed that she needed to have some say in that.

"He met with this top producer in New York. This real old money Hollywood guy. For decades, he's built careers for the greats, you know - Pitt, DiCaprio, Theron, and whatnot. There was a franchise project practically offered to him on a plate, but Ewan refused, because a non-negotiable was that he would have to hide you in favour of a PR arrangement with his leading lady."

You swallowed, the weight of the truth making itself clear. "Couldn't he have just done the movie without that?"

"You would think," she grimaced, "but some producers... when they want something, they have to get it. And well, Bruce wasn't lying, that would have sold the movie well."

"I thought we were past this," you expressed sadly. "I understand how PR relationships work. Just recently, I found myself kind of in the middle of one. But there was no pressure, it wasn't forced on us, and it was meant to be all in good fun."

"I know, sweetheart," she insisted, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "Bruce is an outlier now. Most of the time you do get lucky, with an all-around supportive production team, just like with your project with Elordi."

You hummed in agreement on that positive note, but your mind kept drifting back to Ewan.

Donna continued, wrapping up her story, "but Bruce is still here, and he still has a lot of power. But you know, it'll be fine. Ewan's got such a huge fanbase and so much talent that it'll only be a matter of time before something else knocks on his door."

You wanted to share her sense of optimism, but something ate at you. What else will Ewan have to sacrifice just to be with you? This was his dream, his one dream, and you were standing in the way. How much longer before he is offered another project but he refuses to take it for your sake? Your thoughts blurred together, bordering on irrational, but you couldn't help it.

All you could picture was the unabashed sincerity on his face, that sense of wonder, when he told you that acting had always been his dream.

Being tied down to you, this early in his career, would surely only hurt him. And you don't think you're worth it.

"Ewan loves you, sweetheart. Anyone with eyes can see that," Donna said after a while, heeding the storm brewing in your expression.

He loves you. It was true.

Less than a month in, and you've already found yourself with a love that you've never felt before. And perhaps never will again.

And that was the problem.

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Late September

The podcast moderators are overly welcoming, if not a little loud for Ewan's taste.

The BBC podcast is called Loose Ends, and it's one of the first things Ewan agreed to take on upon returning to England.

He had wanted to head straight home to Derby, to bury himself in his heartache and bitterness, but the team for the show tapped him for a couple more promotional stints, riding on the high of the season finale. And who better than Ewan to offer to the media, the undeniable fan favourite.

Clad in an old gray shirt and blue jeans, people would think he just rolled right out of bed. He didn't really have the motivation to put in more effort. The only striking thing about him is his newly bleached head of hair, supervised by his stylist for a photoshoot a few days ago.

It was ironic, the timing of such a change. Ewan knew that if word got out that you dumped him, he would never hear the end of the joke of that being the reason for his hairstyle change, typical of all heartbroken sods.

Everyone bursts into laughter when he tells them about his mum's reaction to his nude scene. It feels like going through the motions, and he must have been so out of it, so forlorn, that his team prepared an outline for him prior to the interview. The questions and answers all pre-agreed.

Make them laugh. React as required. Remember to speak when spoken to. The mantra goes on in his head.

And don't think about her.

An impossible task, worsened when a moderator goes off script and asks, "Now it wasn't me who saw this, as I'm not on social media myself, but one of our interns did mention that you ventured into Instagram recently? Is that true?"

Oh fuck.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess," Ewan laughs nervously, his hand massaging the back of his neck in a self-soothing motion.

"And your first post went viral? What can you tell us about that? Our listeners would love to know."

"Uhhhm - " He remembers that the broadcast is live, and he can't exactly ask them to edit this part out, so he quickly settles for something indirect. Inconclusive. Safe. " - did it go viral? I'm not too sure how that thing works. I haven't used any kind of social media before."

"Apparently it did! And it had to do with the subject featured in that photo, Ewan. Your costar - "

"Mmm," Ewan stops him there, "didn't you say that you don't use Instagram?"

"No, I think I'm too old!" The moderator laughs.

"It's insane, that whole thing," Ewan shakes his head. "I don't know how to handle it. I'm logged off most of the time."

"Oh, you log off?"

"Yeah, yeah, helps me keep my focus, you know. Keep calm and all that."

"It can get frivolous, can't it?"

Ewan hums in agreement, and thankfully, the moderator moves on to his last question. One that does not breach the subject of you.

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Another day means yet another media stint for Ewan, this time for Now TV.

Still in London, his stylist Davey and the rest of the team prepare him for a day of brief interview clips, to be posted on the social media pages of the company.

Davey had half-joked about Ewan needing even more concealer than usual, the shadows under his eyes having significantly deepened after the breakup.

Some of his team have gotten wind of what happened. They would curiously ask about you, how often Ewan keeps in touch with you while you're on set...

You must be on FaceTime everyday!

Is it hard to be doing long-distance so soon?

Do you miss her? Is that why you're not getting any rest?

...but Ewan would only laugh uncomfortably, dismiss it by bringing up another topic or shifting the attention to someone else, or excuse himself to go for a smoke.

He'd been drowning himself in cigarettes and caffeine during the day, pint after pint in the nighttime. Aimless.

He is coping. He knows how it must look, but he deserves this. He deserves to drift for a while. It's the only thing he can do to keep himself from jumping on the next flight to Atlanta and begging for your hand back.

You said you love him. You did. He hangs on to it like a beacon in a storm. No matter how pointless it may seem, with you choosing someone else over him.

Work is becoming something of an anchor, something that keeps him from spiralling. He's an actor, and he has always wanted to be an actor. People now have expectations of him, and he will answer the call.

The interview session begins with generic questioning, stuff he's answered before on several occasions.

How special is the bond between dragon and rider?

What is a funny moment from set that you can share?

How similar are Aemond and Daemon?

All safe. He's proud of himself for not breaking mental clarity thus far. You're in the back of his mind, dormant as a memory, and not something looming darkly over him. For a while, at least.

But then he is asked, If you could invite any 5 people to a Ewan Mitchell dinner party, who would you pick?

"Matthew McConaughey - "

You.

" - Bruce Lee. I think they could strike up an interesting conversation - "

Your name echoes in his mind, and he can't control it.

" - Andrea Riseborough. She's just a chameleon, like in any role she undertakes -

You have great taste. Even if you would make him eat spicy food again, he'll take it. He'll endure anything for you.

He's stumped for a second, lump in his throat, and his effort in avoiding you leads him to mention someone who will always be a comfort to him.

" - Maybe my nan, because I miss her -

Your name. He has to say your name. Who else? Think of someone else.. but who else? Who would be better?

" - and then, another person. Let's make it from the show... it would be Alyna Rivers."

"Oh really?" The interviewer asks. She's not really meant to respond in this instance, but she knows that the fans would go crazy about any mention of you or your character, so why not jump on this opportunity? "Can you tell us why you chose her?"

"Uhhm, well, she's just an amazing character, you know, fiercely loyal, beautiful, tenacious," Ewan replies easily, "so yeah, she would make for good company."

It is obvious that he is describing you just as much as he does Alyna Rivers, and no doubt, the fans will catch on to this detail.

Later, he's asked about his favourite part about season two, and he duly answers, "Seeing more of Aemond and Vhagar's bond and how that perhaps have gotten stronger. Aemond has definitely reined her in, after the accident at Storm's End."

Then, "There are some new additions to the show. Do you have a particular favourite?"

Another obvious piece of bait. And he takes it, he doesn't care anymore. What's the use of denying the truth?

"A favourite new character? Oh, well, uhmm... I really do like Alyna, and I think I've said before that Aemond and her are quite similar in a sense that they both know what they want and how to achieve it. It's just a shame they're on opposing sides, because if those two get together... " he trails off, leaving it up to the audiences to fill in the rest of the thought.

And they eagerly do. The clips where Ewan mentions Alyna get the most traction, flooded with comments that more or less talk of the same thing -

We know why you chose Alyna, Ewan. We know your ways.

He could have said Alys. Or Gwayne. Or even the ghost of Daeron ffs. But nooooo.... it's Alyna Alyna Alyna 😮‍💨

I wonder if she's there behind the scenes

yeah shes definitely lurking in the background!

Aemond and Alyna better have at least a scene together in season 3!!!!!

Someone kidnap Ryan Condal and make him write this

Ewan doesn't see any of it. Not that he's missing out, because he soon feels the need to call his younger cousin to ask her how to turn off his notifications on Instagram.

Day in and day out, his one single post gets dozens of new comments and likes, a brutal reminder of what he's lost. He could just delete it, and get rid of his profile entirely, but he hates to imagine the discourse that would follow.

All the invasive allegations and rumours. So he leaves it be. It makes no difference to him now. Let people believe what they want.

To his chagrin, he finds himself scrolling on his home page once in a while. The addictive element to it was true, and for him, it's exacerbated because the things he sees are often related to you.

Photos of you from fanpages and news accounts. Ones where your friends have tagged you. It's a toxic habit, looking through it all, but he can't help himself.

Then one day, as he's slouched on the seat in his London apartment, phone propped on his knees, he sees a cutout photo of his face on the corner of the screen. He clicks on it, and it's an image of him interposed among different posts. Posts which he apparently liked.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he cusses at himself, reading the caption.

Boyfriend lurking? - Ewan Mitchell may play a formidable TV villain, but in real life, he's just like us. Click on the link in bio to see his series of liked posts!

Dread takes root in him, followed by self-loathing. Why couldn't he just keep off this bloody thing? He takes to the comments to see what he has allegedly liked on accident and it's predictably photos of you - you at a premiere, stills of you as Alyna, and even, heavens fucking forbid, a behind the scenes shot of you getting pretty close with Jacob Elordi on the set of your film.

He vividly remembers seeing that last one, because he went on a bender after coming across it.

Cursing himself and his wayward, sticky fingers, he exits the app and deletes it from his phone.

Whatever goes on there, whatever people might leave on his profile, he washes his hands of it.

He calls up several of his mates, asking them if they want to come over for a few drinks.

"Again, Ewan?" one of them exclaims. "C'mon, you gotta take a breather, mate."

"I don't need a breather." I need her.

"Ewan - "

His composure breaks, all his damned frustrations rising to the surface, and he confesses, "I wonder if she thinks about me."

"Hang in there, mate. We're coming over."

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October

The director finally yells a satisfied, "Cut!"

It's only taken a good twenty-something takes for you and Jacob to nail a challenging scene. You had been on a roll since the beginning of the shoot, the last few weeks seemingly a breeze on paper, though it's a constant struggle to keep it together.

You've had to quell your internal dialogue so it does not stray to him. His smile. The feel of his skin against yours. His way of subtly picking up on details, and doing sweet things that surprise you as a result.

But you received word just before the scene that a few of your friends have come to visit, waiting back at your trailer - Phia, Fabien and his girlfriend, Bella.

And so, as if on instinct, Ewan is all you can focus on, every repressed memory of him rushing in like a tidal wave.

Do they know? What could you possibly say to justify what you did? You can only hope he took on that project, to give you a bitter sense of vindication.

It's the only thing that keeps it all the bay, the only thing that keeps you from jumping on the next flight to England and grovelling at his door.

Phia has her arms wrapped around you the moment you open the door to your trailer, loudly squealing, "I missed you!"

You sink into the hug, comforted by her presence.

As well as the fact that she represents some connection to Ewan.

Phia, Helaena. Helaena, Aemond. Aemond, Ewan.

It's a sick game to play, but it's what you have.

"Hey, yous," you hug Fabien and Bella in turn. Not long after, you're all lounging on director's chairs right outside your trailer, enjoying a bit of sun.

"How's our big Hollywood star?" Phia quips, her lips curling in her trademark pleasant upturn.

"Hardly a star," you shake your head fondly. "More of an indie darling."

"Of course, of course," she relents, before going on a monologue about how she's been keeping tabs on your project, how she just adores the costume designer whom she spoke to at length while you were working, and how the rest of the cast is rooting for you.

The rest of the cast.

"Ah, are they?" you ask, making a conscious effort to not simply blurt out his name. What does he think? Has he mentioned you at all?

Do they know?

Do they secretly hate you for what you did?

"Mhmm, right Fabs?" she says.

"Oh, definitely." Fabien agrees right away.

"How's your film? Are you done shooting in Philly?" you ask him.

"Just about done, but I think we're doing some final reshoots next week. I'm just glad my girl's here to visit," he slings an arm around Bella, who smiles and leans closer to him.

You smile at the sight, but it visibly falters. Ewan could be visiting you on set right now, just like Bella with Fabien, if you hadn't fucked it all up.

They notice.

"Love," Phia sighs, her tone softening. "I just want you know - we want you know - we're here for you, okay? No matter what you went through with... " A pause. Like saying his name would open up the floodgates.

Your gaze falls to your lap in shame. You pick on invisible lint on your trousers. Bite your lip. Breathe deeply.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"So you guys know, huh?"

"Well, more or less," Phia says. "I just spoke with... Ewan... recently. He's back in Derby for the time being, and he's - "

"He's a bit rough," Fabien says firmly. He's not taking sides here, but he's heard from Ewan, and he feels the need to have his mate's back. "Look, I don't want to pry, but what happened? It seemed like you guys were doing so well together!"

"You don't have to tell us," Phia adds, shooting Fabien a look. "But if you want to, we're here to listen. We love you both and we just want to help, love."

You feel your eyes welling up. Leave it to Phia to be oh so sweet. You can't lie to them, you don't want to. Even if you did, they would see right through it.

Your friends know you too well.

"I... I miss him."

Phia squeezes your hand, and the whole story is about to spill out of you when you hear your name being called.

It's your assistant Clara, letting you know you're needed back on set.

You swallow back tears, standing on your feet, trying to maintain enough composure so you can grant yourself access back to your character.

"Go do your thing, superstar," Phia smiles comfortingly. "We'll be here when you're ready."

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November

"I'd like to propose a toast," Tom declares out loud in the empty pub, "to Ewan, Hollywood's new elf... Lord? Prince? Ah sod it, cheers!"

Round the table, Ewan, Fabien, Luke and Elliott all raise their pints with a collective, "Hear, hear!"

The pub has been cleared out for the lads, thanks to a favour called in by the twins, with the owner being their gym buddy and good friend.

"Thank you," Ewan replies, smirking. "I am your new elf prince, address me as such."

"Your ears have never been pointier, mate," Luke quips.

After a month of moping back home in Derby, or recovering as Ewan prefers to put it, he got a call from his manager telling him that the offer from Bruce still stands.

Apparently, the production team for the movie still had him tapped as the prime choice for the lead. After observing his audience metrics and overall viability, they decided that the movie would fare the best with him in it.

They had planted some half-baked announcements in the media, stating that it was Ewan against Joseph Quinn and Manny Jacinto for the role, and the fan reaction veered in Ewan's favour by a landslide.

Even though Bruce had an unsavoury word or two to say about him, he was willing to work past it, so long as Ewan would be more amenable to his demands.

After careful deliberation, Ewan chose to throw caution to the wind, and accept the role. So what if he has to pretend to have a real-life romance with Jenna? This is what you wanted.

"I'm glad you finally came out to see us, mate," Fabien says. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, fuck's sake. Remind us never to break your heart! That was tough to witness, you hunkerin' down out there all mopey and whatnot," Elliott laughs.

"Mmm." Ewan takes a swig of his beer to hide the wince he couldn't hold back. His friends, and most of the cast know by now, not in too much detail, of what went down between the two of you.

A typical short-lived romance of two actors. A summer fling. Most of them would look back and only see it as that.

Even though it was so much more. Even though Ewan still recalls how warm and soft and beautiful you felt as you whimpered underneath him, the loss of you as painful as getting hit by a freight train.

The liquor helps. Burying himself in work helps. Denial... well, that certainly helps the most.

When he goes out to the back garden for a smoke break with Fabien, he tricks himself into believing it's mere curiosity that compels him to say, "Phia mentioned that you guys went to Atlanta."

Fabien is rendered off guard, because he knows what's coming. "Yeah, we did. Bella came with us too. She was visiting me on set," he says, measuredly.

"Mmm." A long drag, a flick of ash towards the ground, an unaffected shrug - and eventually, with as impassive of a tone as he can muster, Ewan asks, "So how is she?"

Fabien smiles knowingly. "She's doing great. Her film's looking pretty good." He's privy to the truth, after he and Phia managed to gently coax it out of you over several martinis at a hotel bar in Atlanta. But he doesn't think it up to him to reveal that to Ewan, out of respect for your privacy.

While he might not share your sentiment, he thinks it's not in his place to tell Ewan that you basically lied for his sake.

But that doesn't mean he won't drop a helpful nugget or two.

"You know, I don't exactly know what's going on... but her and Jacob came across as nothing more than friends."

Ewan's hand freezes mid-air, the cigarette inches from his lips. He loathes the sense of hope that immediately bloomed in his chest. He's so bloody easy. One miniscule hint, and his delusions break through the wall of indifference he worked so hard to build.

"She said she has feelings for him," Ewan stresses, trying to convince himself. What was the fucking point of all this... this pain... if you never did?

"Hey, mate, I dunno," Fabien puts his hands up, "just telling you what I saw."

"It doesn't matter." It does. "She ended it." He wants you back, he will always want you back. "It's better this way."

"Is it?"

Ewan doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to, without grossly embellishing the truth.

Fabien watches his friend, sensing his hesitation as he averts his gaze. One thing becomes clear to him - you and Ewan are far from being over.

So he says, "She misses you, you know."

Ewan regards him with a stony look, one that slowly softens to reveal the broken boy inside. For but a moment, before he clears his throat and throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground.

"Let's head back inside."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

December

You're back in London, as production for your film is paused for the upcoming holiday season.

Work is supposed to be the last thing on your mind, but it just so happens that your manager has you booked for a chemistry read for a yet undisclosed film.

Phia came over to your apartment, insisting that she help you get ready. When you asked how she found out about your audition, she was quick to say that she was up for the role as well but didn't think it was right for her.

"Why not?" you ask, as she hovers over you, patting blush on the apples of your cheeks.

"Oh, you just get a feel for these things."

"Phi, it's just a chemistry read," you say, when she reaches for the mascara. "I don't need to get all dolled up for this."

She gasps, "Oh, but this is showbiz, darling. We always have to put a face on."

"Fine," you relent. "Do your worst."

The makeup she ends up doing on you is minimal, but it enhances your features just the right amount. You rush through your final preparations, folding up the script sample you were given and stuffing it in your purse.

Phia stands out on your balcony, in the middle of a call. The window screen is slightly open, so you hear snippets of the conversation as you walk by.

"Is he ready?" she asks. Who's he? You assume it's the guy you are doing the read with.

You don't know about him, but you are ready, so you stick your head out to say, "I gotta go, Phi."

"Oh!" She startles a little, angling her phone away. "Already?"

"Yeah, the read's at 4, I believe. Just lock the door when you leave, 'kay?"

She hurriedly whispers something to her phone, presumably ending her call. "I'll actually head out with you," she grins. "My work here is done anyway."

"Any plans for the night?"

She shrugs, "Might meet with Tom and Martha."

"Oh, why don't I meet you guys after my thing?"

"Uhhhm," she chews on her lip, thinking. Under her breath, you barely hear her mumble, "... hoping you'd be busy."

"What?" A restrained chuckle escapes you, confused as to why she's being so coy.

"Nothing," she tilts her head. "We can meet if you'd like."

The weird exchange is out of your mind when you arrive at the casting agency. You run the scene through in your head as you walk in the building, up the elevator, down the long hallway.

It's a heartfelt scene, if not a little tense, a dialogue between reunited ex-lovers.

Your manager Polina and publicist Mallory greet you at the doors, swiftly briefing you before directing you in.

"They're waiting, just walk right in, doll," Polina says.

"Okay, wish me luck!" You have your hand on the door handle when Mallory strangely remarks, "Don't hate us, sweetheart!"

"Why would I - "

"Go, go," Polina guides you in, then shuts the door behind you.

The office sports an spacious and open layout, with plenty of natural light streaming through large windows. The primary workstation is partially hidden behind a subtle partition. You see silhouettes of a few people behind it, so you walk down that way.

The figures reveal themselves soon enough - the casting agents you recognise as Patrick and Amie, sitting in front of the actor you're meant to read with.

A range of emotion washes over you, but you don't even have time to reckon with them. The casting agents divert your attention from Ewan, as they approach you with wide smiles in greeting.

"So nice to finally meet you!" Amie croons. "Take a seat. You two already know each other, of course. Between us, there won't really be a question of chemistry here."

"Right?" Patrick adds, looking between you and Ewan. "The fans sure think so, and we have to say we already agree."

"So just give us a minute to set up," Amie says. "Then we'll start."

You smile stiffly, settling down on the opposite end of the couch. You keep your gaze straight, trying to keep your attention on Patrick as he sets up the camera. Your heartbeat races the entire time, and you feel your hands getting clammy.

"They're all in on it," you hear Ewan say, prompting you to finally look at him directly. You take him in hungrily, admiring his outline, ever so handsome with his Targaryen-blonde hair and black leather jacket.

A weak "Mmm?" is all you can muster.

"Our teams, Tom, Phia... they set us up. Tom came over and I overheard him on the phone with Phia."

"Oh," you mumble. He doesn't even spare you a glance, leaning on the armrest on his side of the couch. He looks as if he'd rather be anywhere but here, next to you, and it hurts.

It's what you deserve.

"Is this not a real chemistry read?" you ask meekly.

"I suppose it is," he laughs humourlessly, "but it's not a coincidence that you and I just happen to be the only ones scheduled for today." He turns to you, giving you a critical sideways glance. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"I... I can leave if you want - "

"Mmm," his brows furrow, "you do seem to be good at that."

You look away. He is not being fair, but you weren't neither, that wretched night back in September.

And he is making you pay for it now.

But then you hear him speak in a softer tone, "Stay."

Stay. When you look at him once more, his attention is entirely on you, arm outstretched on the couch like he just tried to reach for you but decided against it.

Stay, he asked. So you do.

It's what you should have done, months ago.

"Okay, guys. Whenever you're ready," Amie says. She and Patrick take their seats in front of you, with the camera on a stand between them.

The script crinkles on your lap as you hold it with shaky fingers. "It's been a while," you read out your opening line.

The dialogue plays out twisted and ironic, now that you know who your scene partner is.

"Hardly," Ewan responds in character. "I feel like no time as passed."

"Feels like a lifetime."

He pauses, then sighs, "Do you even miss me?"

"How... how can you even ask me that?"

"How can I - "

"Why didn't you... why didn't you fight for me?" your voice breaks, the lines hitting a bit too close to home.

"You're a fucking hypocrite," he spits with venom. "You weren't exactly giving me anything to fight for."

"I did it for us. I did it all for us." If you didn't feel like crying at the weight of the scene, you would have rolled your eyes at the similarities.

"Like I said - nothing to fight for."

"Nothing? So you're telling me I was nothing to you."

"No," he levels you with an icy look, "you were everything to me. Everything. But you left me behind, and for what? So you can run off with the rebel sect?"

"The mission needed me. You wouldn't understand." You feel a sense of relief when the sci-fi elements roll in, otherwise you might have given in to your emotions and sobbed right there on the damn couch.

"I needed you," Ewan says, eyes not leaving yours. "I needed you and you abandoned me, just like that."

"And are you not better for it? When I left, did they not make you General?"

"See, that is the difference between you and I," he says coldly. "I wouldn't have traded what we had for anything - no position, no amount of wealth, no glory... I would have chosen us every time."

"Aaand cut!" Patrick jokes, effectively breaking the tension.

The two of you have unconsciously drifted closer, now only a foot part. Ewan does not drop your gaze, watching you closely. You see his eyes flit down to your parted lips, and he leans in almost imperceptibly.

"Alright, how about we go one more time?" Amie says, diverting your attention. "Give us a different take, and then that's it!"

Ewan settles back on his end of the couch. When he reads his lines again, his tone is harsher and he no longer meets your eyes.

Patrick and Amie commend you both afterward, singing praises about your acting abilities. Ewan is polite as always, blushing and grateful, but he practically dashes out of the door when the meeting finishes.

You're left standing with Amie, as Patrick has taken to his laptop to file the footage.

"The way he looks at you," she sighs dreamily, referring to Ewan. "You'd think the sun shone out your arse, doll."

"He... he was just in character," you disagree. "He's a good actor, as you know."

"Yeah, I mean, he nailed the part's rancour perfectly. But his eyes - oof - you've got a good one there."

Oh. Of course they would still assume you and him are together.

How desperately you want it to be true.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

An hour later, you've just sent Phia a text saying - You owe me. Where do I meet you guys?

But you hear a knock on your apartment door. If you didn't buzz anyone in, it can only be a neighbour or someone the doorman recognised.

Someone familiar to you.

And it's him.

"Ewan?"

"I need to speak with you."

You step aside so he doesn't linger at your doorway. He walks past you, a welcome if not unexpected presence in the room.

You can't decipher his expression, his gaze angled downward as he leans against your kitchen counter.

When the silence becomes almost deafening, you laugh awkwardly, about to make some silly remark on whether he is still in character. But he doesn't let you diffuse the tension.

"I want you," he blurts out without warning. "God help me, I still want you. I think I might have a fucking problem because how can I... after what you did - " A momentary glance of betrayal, but you see the spite clear in his eyes. " - but I do. I can't get you out of my system."

"I'm sorry - "

"I don't need that," he says sharply. "I don't need your sorry. I need you. I need to have you, and maybe this way, I'll satisfy whatever pointless desire I still have in me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying - I'm asking - will you let me have you?"

"Ewan, I don't under - "

"I'm saying that we should sleep together," he says bluntly, and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet, "but only just. You won't be mine, and I won't be yours."

"You're kidding."

He shakes his head, before adding, "Don't worry. It'll be our little secret. To the rest of the world, I'll have a different girlfriend anyway."

His words register, along with the bitter ache at his words, that you won't be his, he won't be yours. This is purely for pleasure. There used to be love here, and now he just craves the comfort your body allows.

You'll be using each other.

You should refuse. This is not healthy; this is not how you move on. Can you even go back to being good friends after this? But also - what have you got to lose?

What, except for him, and for good this time?

What, except everything?

"So what do you say - " He closes in on you, and with every bit of malice intended, the name no longer possessing the sweetness it once held, he sneers, "- darling?"

💌 next chapter

Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @livcookesgf @onlyrealjoy (continued ... )

Some notes in the margins...

Well well well... the transition from friends to lovers to strangers to angsty FWBs sure is a slippery slope!

The time jumps are so we get through the moping quicker! It's mostly back to the regular shenanigans in the next part. Only, you know, angst-ridden. But you hurt Ewan, reader. *wags finger* Don't say you didn't expect this switch! Tsktsk

So what now - will you accept this arrangement? Will things ever be truly okay? Part 7 is going to be hot and hilarious and stupid and messy, just as the doctor ordered.

Let's hash it out in the comments, shall we? 🗡💕

[thisbluespirit]

How To Find Your (British Actor) Blorbo On The Radio: A Brief Guide

(Disclaimer: British, because the main tool I'm using is the BBC's Genome.)

If you want more of your fave actor, or you love full-cast drama podcasts/audios (and audiobooks/NF content too) here's a guide on how to get your hands on BBC Radio broadcasts.

The BBC have a great free resource called Genome, which has all the Radio Times listings from 1922 to the present day (plus some of the actual articles), and it's searchable. Up until its arrival, it was really hard to do that, so \o/

Not all actors do radio and not everything you find will be obtainable, but it's always worth a try! It's especially likely for actor-blorbos who do other audio work, or theatre (theatre tends not to pay so well, and radio is a handy extra thing that can be more easily slotted in between performances than TV/film.)

Go to Genome, and put your blorbo's name into the search box:

Press search, which will bring back a bunch of results from both radio and TV listings from 1922 up to the current year:

2. Filter down to "radio only" on the sidebar to avoid scrolling through all the TV. At the top of the page you can change the display order to First broadcast (or Availability, if you want it only to bring things currently available to stream on the BBC website), among other options.

I can also cut down on extraneous results by selecting a date range that only covers when my guy was active.

I scroll down until I find something that looks interesting, in this case a proper audio drama, called The Hornblower Story. It's from 1980 and is an adaptation of a well known book. The details give me enough info to search the wider internet, and see if I get lucky...

3. Search the internet and listen to your blorbo act in radio drama!

There are several ways to obtain radio drama online. If you use streaming sites like Audible and Spotify, it may be there, although usually only if it's had a commercial release.

The BBC still broadcast old programmes on the radio, so it might be currently available on their website to stream - and unlike TV, you can listen to BBC Radio anywhere in the world! (If you are in the UK, you can also download and use the BBC Sounds app.) The Genome will usually provide a link for you to go straight there, if that's the case.

However, obviously, most BBC Radio from past decades is not available commercially or being broadcast by the BBC now and some doesn't exist in the archives, or was never recorded (as with TV), but as methods of recording audio at home have been widely available since the 1950s and 60s, there are loads of off-air recordings of radio made by listeners/collectors, and some have freely shared their copies online. Some are in closed forums etc., but three good sites to try first are YouTube, RadioEchoes & the Internet Archive.

I usually start with a Google search - e.g. '"Title" radio' or radio bbc and if that doesn't give me anything add on first "Radio Echoes" and then "Internet archive" to the search.

And I'm in luck! Radio Echoes appear to have the adaptation I'm after. I need to check the broadcast dates to see if they match up & then I can stream or download for free - and hear my blorbo play a stern Admiral for 5 minutes or less, hurrah!

Clicking on the links takes you to a screen where you can press play to stream or right click on the play bar to download the mp3 file to your device. (Click the "Save audio as..." option).

These are archive off-air recordings, so the quality can vary, especially for older programmes.

4. Rinse and repeat with each new likely Genome discovery.

If you find a copy of what you're looking for on the Internet Archive instead, you'll get up a page with a play bar (like the one above), with episodes listed plus details (to varying degrees) below. If you want to stream, just click play and enjoy. If you want to download it, then click on the MP3 files line on the right-hand sidebar, which will then give you an "X no of files" button to click and you can download them to keep.

(You can download all the files, but I usually cut straight to the chase and just nab the MP3s.)

Sometimes the BBC have released a commercial audiobook. In those cases, if you already use audio/music streaming subscription sites like Audible or Spotify, you should be able to find it there.

If you don't, or you want to buy a download, I've found the best option (weirdly!) (for UK users, at any rate) is to get the audiobook up at Penguin Books, which links to various paid subscription streaming and download options, so you can find the best one for you (and you know it's been recced by a hopefully reputable source.)

Last year, I wanted to buy Vivat Rex, the BBC's landmark dramatisation of all the English history plays rolled into one giant starry-cast Jacobean audio serial, and successfully used this route. (I'm very old by internet terms and still like listening via MP3 files on my MP3 player, as long as it survives.)

Pretty much the only affordable download option I've found so far I got courtesy of Penguin's links to Hive. (But this may be a UK only option.)

If what you're looking for seems likely to exist even if you can't find it by any of these methods - keep trying! New things are being added daily to all these websites, and the BBC cycle round old shows all the time.

And if you want to go deeper, there are closed forums etc. for radio enthusiasts where you need to make an account, but you may then be able to torrent or download an even wider variety of things.

Of course, whether or not your blorbo has been in anything good or any radio at all will depend on them, but I hope this guide will help enable you to find out!

YouTube, Radio Echoes, the Internet Archive and Old Time Radio all have radio from other countries too. So while the BBC Genome can't help you with anywhere outside the UK, the other links here can be good places to look around and browse for things you might be interested in.

You can of course use the same methods to search for things like a favourite author, or particular plays, to see if the BBC have done any radio adaptations - BBC Radio have done heaps of things that have never been adapted on screen, so it's always worth a look for anything you'd be into.

Radio Echoes is browsable as well as searchable, and while Internet Archive is a bit less so, there are some excellent collections you can look through, like the Saturday Night Theatre collection, and the BBC Radio Shows listings.

[solreefs]

so you want to read Sherlock Holmes?

the canon of Sherlock Holmes as published by Arthur Conan Doyle consists of 56 short stories and 4 novels. that’s a lot. I think most of the issues people run into with reading Sherlock Holmes can be broken down into three questions:

what order do I read them in?

where do I find them?

are there other ways to experience them?

I’m going to tackle these one at a time and I’m adding a cut to save your dash. be forewarned.

1- what order do I read the stories in?

there isn’t really one good answer to this. the stories themselves were not published in chronological order, and Conan Doyle himself was notoriously inconsistent with dates. the adventure of the red-headed league is a particularly good example of this (the month inexplicably changes from June to October in the space of a page).

there exist several timelines made by Holmes scholars over the years, of which William Baring-Gould’s is probably the most well-known. you can find it here. (this website, the Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia, is also a great resource for learning more about Sherlock Holmes stories and their many adaptations.)

(Baring-Gould’s chronology gives Watson multiple marriages; only one wife is ever mentioned by name in the stories, but it is difficult to make a coherent timeline where Watson is only married once.)

another method is to read the stories in publication order. this is the easiest way, since the short stories were published in 5 collections after being printed in the Strand Magazine. these collections are:

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, containing stories published from June 1891 to June 1892.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, containing stories published from December 1892 to December 1893.

The Return of Sherlock Holmes, October 1903 to December 1904

His Last Bow, 1908 to 1917

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes, 1921 to 1927

including the 4 novels, publication order would be:

A Study In Scarlet

The Sign of Four

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

The Hound of the Baskervilles

The Return of Sherlock Holmes

His Last Bow

The Valley of Fear

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes

a third way, and probably the most popular, is just to skip around and read whichever stories catch your interest. given the lack of an official chronology and varying levels of popularity of the stories (the hound of the baskervilles is quite well-known, but have you ever heard of the valley of fear? probably not) which can affect how easy it is to find them, this approach might be the most practical.

I’m also going to be totally honest: you do not need to read all 60 Sherlock Holmes works unless you want to. the stories vary quite a bit in quality, and Conan Doyle is a much better short story writer than novelist. to that end, here’s my recommended twenty stories and the year they were written. the order listed corresponds to the chronology I made myself, but it’s only a suggestion, unless otherwise noted.

A Study in Scarlet (1887) note: if you are going to read this, it makes most sense to read it first, since it deals with how Holmes and Watson first met.

The Adventure of the Gloria Scott (1893)

The Adventure of the Resident Patient (1893)

The Adventure of the Speckled Band (1892)

The Adventure of Silver Blaze (1892)

The Adventure of the Greek Interpreter (1893)

The Sign of Four (1890)

A Scandal in Bohemia (1891)

The Boscombe Valley Mystery (1891)

The Adventure of the Red-Headed League (1891)

The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle (1892)

The Adventure of the Copper Beeches (1892)

The Final Problem (1893)

The Adventure of the Empty House (1903) note: read this right after the final problem, otherwise it won’t make much sense

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1901)

The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton (1904)

The Adventure of the Abbey Grange (1904)

The Adventure of the Dancing Men (1903)

The Adventure of the Illustrious Client (1924)

The Adventure of Shoscombe Old Place (1927)

2- where can I find the stories?

as of last year, all of Conan Doyle’s Holmes stories are in the public domain, which makes finding copies of them online much easier. I really love Project Gutenberg, which is an archive of over 70,000 ebooks, including all of the Sherlock Holmes stories! you can download pdfs from that website, or just read them online. the Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia, linked in the previous section, also has the text for all of the stories.

honestly, because it’s all public domain now, just searching “[story] pdf” should get you a lot of good results. if you don’t want to read them online, the Holmes stories are obviously quite well-known, and asking for a novel or short story collection at your library is a good bet. your library might have audiobooks or ebooks of these stories too.

as for translations, Sherlockian.net (another great website) has links to translations in Esperanto, French, German, Italian, Japanese, and Spanish. Project Gutenberg has Polish, Dutch, and Finnish versions of some of the stories, though the selection is quite limited. these are all the links I have at the moment, but the stories have been translated into over 70 languages, so I’d be happy to look for more if anyone asks.

3- are there other ways to experience these stories?

yes! this youtube channel, The Sherlock Holmes Radio Show, has audiobooks for most of the books, the BBC’s radio drama adaptations of the stories, and the radio show adaptation done by Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. if you prefer your stories in audio format, I highly recommend looking through their videos.

one of the most beloved screen adaptations of Sherlock Holmes is the Granada Studios tv series The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. often referred to as “Granada Holmes”, the series starred Jeremy Brett as Holmes, and David Burke (seasons 1-2) and Edward Hardwicke (seasons 3-4) as Watson. it ran from 1984 to 1994, and was renowned for its commitment to accuracy.

the earlier episodes especially are about as close to one-to-one text to screen adaptations as it’s possible to get. they didn’t adapt every story, and they made some changes (they do not adhere to any established chronology, and Watson never marries), but if you don’t have time to read a whole story, chances are there’s a forty-five minute Granada episode you can watch instead. you can find a youtube playlist of all the episodes here.

finally, I wanted to mention a podcast called However Improbable (link goes to their website). every other week, they air an episode reading one of the stories out loud, and then an episode discussing it. they use Baring-Gould’s chronology, and the podcast is enjoyable both as a new and a long-time Holmes fan. I also like the flexibility that their format offers. if you only want to listen to the stories, you can do that! if you want to read the story on your own and then just listen to the analysis, you can do that!

it is an ongoing podcast, and as of posting this, they’re up to the adventure of the naval treaty.

—

and that’s all I have for now! thanks for reading this, and good luck in whatever you decide to do with this information. if you have more questions, I would love to answer them. I’m always down to talk about Holmes.

also, please let me know if any of this information is wrong or if any of the links are broken.

[boinin]

sorry i couldn't find out how to ask on your other blog.

that book binding you posted is gorgeous btw !!

I noticed that in one of the photos you included the disclaimer that you also edited it. I just had a question about how you formatted the text.

one of my biggest gripes with AO3 is text formatting (i often feel like i'm reading a legal document vs a novel/story) . Did you change how it is formatted on AO3 compared to printed?

I feel like i'm in the 0.5% that hate AO3 formatting but i thought i might as well ask in case you have any tips for that. >,>

(also how do you decide on the page size, do you just choose a standard size for all your projects? or do you vary it depending on what you are binding?)

thanks so much for taking the time to answer and for sharing your projects :) !!!!!!!!!!!

hey anon! I have asks turned off for the sideblog, but happy to answer here. Thanks very much!

I'm taking this opportunity to info-dump and link a lot of resources. I think they're useful for people new to either typesetting or bookbinding, but not all are directly related to your queries. That said, hope this is of use!

one of my biggest gripes with AO3 is text formatting (i often feel like i'm reading a legal document vs a novel/story) . Did you change how it is formatted on AO3 compared to printed?

I do a fair bit of editing when I'm binding a fic; typesetting is often the longest part of the process. Your mileage will vary depending on your experience with using word processor software, particularly the paragraph style and page style settings. Another factor is how simple/complicated you want your typeset to look. Replicating a published novel in format is difficult but learnable for a complete beginner.

I'm not equipped to give a full tutorial on how to typeset, but I'll point you towards some useful resources for ficbinding then talk about my own process.

ArmouredSuperHeavy has a tutorial on how to make Ao3's HTML downloads into a printable book in Microsoft Word. I use LibreOffice Writer myself, so this adaptation of the same tutorial is what I follow. Both are very helpful to reference as you're learning the typesetting ropes.

Personally, I don't mess around with HTML. I find it easiest to start by doing a Ctrl+A copy of the Entire Work fic view on Ao3 then pasting that into my word processor. This video tutorial by Beautifully Bound runs through how to do this in Microsoft Word using an AO3 fic as an example, including the associated steps needed to make the fic look novel-like. This is probably the best tutorial to address your gripe with AO3 formatting. Other than that, I'd recommend looking into videos or tutorials about typesetting novels for print. Same idea, and you may get more hits than searching for fanbind/ficbind typesetting tutorials.

More under the cut! Once I start yapping, it's hard to shut me up 🤷‍♀️

As a point of comparison, here's one of my fics on Ao3 and the corresponding typeset side by side:

Beautifully Bound explains this in far better detail than I will, but off the top of my head, the steps involved:

making a new document and setting the default page size to whatever size I want the book's pages to be (A5 or A6 usually). You can also set the margins at this point, taking account of your printer settings.

CTRL+A and copying the entire work's text on AO3 then pasting it into the document.

removing all hyperlinks and AO3 frontmatter, things like the author tags, summary, notes, etc as well as any website text that got copied over alongside the fic.

(optional) running a spell check and ensuring grammar usage is consistent. For me that's substituting em dashes for hyphens between clauses, enforcing curly double quotation marks for dialogue, etc. LibreOffice Writer automates a lot of this with customisable settings, via Tools -> Auto-Correct. Here's also where to make sure character names are all spelled right, convert the text to or from US to UK English, etc.

picking out fonts for the body text, headers, page numbers, etc. This is where you'll want to use paragraph style settings. Page style settings also comes in clutch if, for example, you'd like different headers on alternating pages. I like having the author on the right, the fic title on the left.

setting the body text first line indent to whatever makes sense visually). This in particular helps make the fic feel more like a novel. You can also play around with line spacing and space between paragraphs at this stage. For this A6 typeset, I had a 0.75cm first line indent, 1.15 line spacing, and 0.15 spacing between paragraphs.

(optional) formatting the first line of the work to use small capitals and to add a drop caps to the first letter of the first word. Again, this is a convention in publishing which add a novel-like feeling to a printed fanwork.

Inserting page numbers, adding images, coming up with how I wanted the "copyright" page to look—optional for the most part, but these are details that make a fic appear more like a novel.

For multi-chapter works, there's extra work in formatting chapter titles as headings so that they're referenced correctly in the automatic table of contents word processors can generate.

Once you have a typeset you're happy with, and if you're considering printing and binding it as a book, then you'll need to look into how to create and print signatures. Personally, this is something I had to actually try (and mess up a bunch of times) before I got to grips with it. Understanding how both your printer and your PDF reader work, particularly printer margins and booklet print settings, is key.

I won't go into as much detail on this, but if it's something you have an interest in, I'd recommend starting with DAS Bookbinding's tutorial. DAS has tutorials for everything bookbinding related so when in doubt, check his channel! Plenty of other YouTubers also have good videos on making signatures.

This resource is extremely useful once you've got your head around how to print signatures manually, so here's a link for anyone in that space: GitHub Bookbinding Imposer. Essentially, this does the signature creation for you, removing the need for booklet print settings in your PDF reader.

also how do you decide on the page size, do you just choose a standard size for all your projects? or do you vary it depending on what you are binding?

I have access to both A4 and A5 sized paper and my printer can handle printing on either size. In bookbinding, normally two pages are printed per side of the paper (which are then folded in half as part of a signature). That is, when I print on A4 paper, it's to make an A5 sized book. Printing on A5 paper will yield an A6 sized book.

Before I begin typesetting, I'll usually know what paper I plan to use, so the typeset will be one size down from the paper. So far, I've made softcover pamphlets at A6 size and casebound books in A5. No real method of choice for me, it's whatever I feel most suits the project.

---

If you made it this far anon, thanks for reading! Here's links to a few general resources if bookbinding is something you'd like to explore more:

DAS Bookbinding (YouTube, bookbinding in all forms)

Sea Lemon DIY (YouTube, bookbinding and other crafts)

bitter melon bindery (YouTube, bookbinding, particularly beginner friendly!)

Jess Less (YouTube, demonstrations of fanbinding and re-binding existing novels)

Papercraft Panda (blog, lots of detailed tutorial on bookbinding)

Renegade Bookbinding Guild (collective and website, loads of fanbinding-specific resources from their members and they have a helpful Discord).

[srhunt]

Haunted Mansion’s Biggest Issue (to me)

I was very excited to finally see Haunted Mansion this year. I had given up hope on ever seeing this new adaption in the 13 years since Guillermo Del Toro announced it with barely any news in between.

And I did very much enjoy it, it’s at least better than the 2003 film, which is all I wanted it to be.

However, there is one thing that stopped me from loving this movie, and that’s how they handled my favorite happy haunt, the Hatbox Ghost.

Now, design wise, he looks great. He’s intimidating, he’s creepy, all around they nailed it. Not thrilled that he’s played by Jared Leto, but thankfully he’s barely noticeable.

Where my issue begins is when they learn the Hatbox Ghost’s living name, Alistair Crump.

I’m not opposed with giving Hattie an actual name, mind you, and I do appreciate the nod to original Haunted Mansion Imagineer, Rolly Crump (though it’s kinda backhanded to name the villain of the movie after him). But from the moment they learn his name, he stops being the Hatbox Ghost and becomes Alistair Crump. Let me explain what I mean.

Alistair Crump was the child of a wealthy family. He was kicked out of his home by his father after crying too hard at his mother’s funeral. Cut off from his family, Crump had to climb his way back up from nothing. Meanwhile, he studied the dark arts. After his father died under mysterious circumstances, Crump gained control over his family estate. He’d throw lavish parties, inviting the people who turned his father against him. At these parties, he would murder the people he believed played a part in his father’s abandonment of him. Crump would bury the bodies under the house. This continued until his staff discovered his secret and turned against him, decapitating him and burying his remains in the same place he disposed of his victims.

Did you notice something was missing in this story?

Something very important to the Hatbox Ghost?

Like…a hatbox?

Yea, there’s no mention of a hatbox in his backstory.

This issue becomes even more glaring when the protagonists need to find an item that belonged to him in order to banish him.

You’re probably thinking it’s a hatbox, right?

No, it’s his top hat.

The top hat that’s still on his decapitated head.

Oh, is his head inside a hatbox?

No, it’s in the dirt under his old mansion.

Most of the time, ghosts are depicted with items important to them in life. Constance Hatchaway has her pearls and her hatchet, Madame Leota manifests in her crystal ball. And it’s not just the Haunted Mansion that does this, look at Thirteen Ghosts from 2001.

Each ghost has an in-depth backstory that can be found on the DVD’s bonus features, and each backstory explains how they died and why they were selected to fill a specific role in the Black Zodiac. They look the way they do because it reflects their past lives and their deaths.

So why does Alistair Crump carry a hatbox as a ghost if he had no ties to it in life?

This issue drives me nuts because it easily could’ve been fixed. Maybe when Alistair was kicked out of the house, he was only given a hatbox to carry what little he could, or maybe his staff hid his head inside a hatbox.

Crump only has the hatbox so he can do the gag with his head. That’s it. His titular hatbox holds no importance to him. He easily could’ve been swapped with any other ghost in the Mansion and nothing would feel out of place.

The hatbox is so unimportant to Crump that towards the end of the movie, he doesn’t even have it anymore. After we learn his backstory, he’s never seen with the hatbox again.

Even this new Funko Pop figure doesn’t have his hatbox but then labels him, “Hatbox Ghost.”

To me, Alistair Crump and the Hatbox Ghost are two different characters. Crump may look like Hattie, but he is not the Hatbox Ghost. Which is the biggest disappointment of this film to me.

Hattie is such a fascinating and mysterious character in the mansion. He has a backstory that’s never really explored. His role varies from story to story. Why is he in the attic with Constance? Was he one of Constance’s grooms? Why does he have that hatbox? Why did he disappear for so long in the context of the Mansion’s story? Where did he go and why did he come back? Was he a victim? A coconspirator that got betrayed? There were so many ways they could’ve taken his story and they picked probably the weakest one.

It does make me wonder what Guillermo Del Toro’s original vision for Hattie was. But alas, we may never know.

Maybe in another 20 years we’ll get a different take on the Mansion and Hattie.

[e-glyde]

Why do people think adhering to lore will make a good story?

Why do you rely on "respecting the lore" to be your reason for disliking something? Maybe the lore needs to be disrespected. Perhaps what you respected from the original set of writer's had PROBLEMS. Could be the new writer's want to do something different in this world of rehashes or something.

It could also go wrong, and even kill the reason you love the story. So let's look at two different examples of adaptations of video games. Sonic and Halo…not perfect I know but stick with me.

I should also mention I enjoy the Halo show and the Sonic movies irritate me with it's changes.

STICK WITH ME HERE.

Let's take a look at the similarities of the both:

Produced by Paramount

Major Changes from it's source material

It's own timeline separate from their games and extended lore

Live Action when it probably shouldn't be

More likely to use/keep intact deep cuts from the source lore

More likely to change up key aspects most everyone knows

Let's take a look at the differences now:

The Sonic movies are beloved by many of it's fans

The Halo show is just discourse town and hated by many of it's fans (The tide of this is turning. I might come back to this.)

The Sonic movie's demographic is children

The Halo show's demographic is adults

The Sonic movie is allergic to the game's music

The Halo show has used several themes and music styles from the games

Halo is military sci-fi

Sonic is shonen

We can ignore those last two. I'm just salty the Sonic movies don't really use any of the game's AMAZING music or hire any of those composers to help out or EVEN JUST, HOVER AROUND THE VIBE OF THOSE OSTs! Actually let's not ignore it, because that's a good point to start with. Despite such an annoyance in my eyes, the Sonic fanbase hasn't made much a stink about it. And we take a look at Halo and throw many different fires that the show doesn't use the OST. Now how could that be? Didn't I just mention they actually use themes from the games?

Oh yes, the Halo show even uses THE Halo Theme in several key moments. So why are the complaints brought up? Well so I can go to sleep at a decent time I'll get to the point, or a point. I've noticed many different aspects going for and against each franchise adaptation into live action. One being the audience each genre brings, military sci-fi usually brings in those wiki types who act all high and mighty like they've read the extended lore but all they've done is quote a wiki. Or worse, a youtube video. Shonen can run quite hard on cool factor, and less on lore trappings. Even if people fixate on power levels, a story can move in and out of an establish power scale and still keep an audience…if it's fucking cool.

Halo by and large, has a pretty consistent quality. With an aged fanbase who from day 1 hates anything new.

Sonic I've noticed has changed a LOT, and has varying quality and all the fanbase begs for is something good.

That point isn't too good. Let's go back to Halo :3 The point from before was speaking to how despite the consistent quality the fans would have you believe the current company has killed Halo and never made a good game ever. Then you play them and see that even it's worse is still a fine game. And then you wonder, "Why do y'all act like these games are the worst thing ever? Do you not know worse games or can you not see your bias and act accordingly?"

The same goes with the show, while, not perfect…is fine even at it's worse. But they'll have you believe it's literal unwatchable dogshit. You look at any popular tweet about the show and it's probably going to be something changed from the lore and people acting like the sky is falling.

I see the Sonic movie show up and people are just enjoying the goober. Or quoting Idris Elba's knuckles. rip Tails Or Jim Carrey's eggman chewing the fuck out of the scene. Despite ALL OF THIS, being different. Because this audience isn't lore heavy sci-fi fans, they're shonen fans. It's cool factor, it's Knuckles stopping Sonic and taunting him. It's Super Sonic wiping the floor with a giant mech, it's Eggman being a charismatic confident jerk. Who cares i-oh wait, I'm getting a phone in…Sonic fans do not enjoy the human subplot….yea…yea. Okay. Makes sense, if you came from epic anime hedgehog moments, the comedic human subplot would probably do that. But it's not enough to make every Sonic movie tweet inevitably show up going, "Erm, but the movies suck though!"

Yes the Halo show has that. It's very annoying. But honestly sci-fi especially military sci-fi just has the problem. I don't know why, but it is annoying as hell. The mass demands lore, no not that one, no not that one; yanno the good lore. The one the audience liked as a child. The original one. The never changing lore; except the one that changed things but it was good!

Getting side tracked. There was a point here. Eh who cares, but I'll leave you with some wild shit I've seen.

"The Halo show is a Mass Effect show in disguise."

Evidence:

A Commander Shepard cameo in the dialouge in one scene referring to a Commander Shepard.

The show has Romance.

That's it. From what I've heard from Mass Effect fans, this take is even worse because you'd have to be media illiterate to relate the both. Or it's self admittance you know nothing of Mass Effect except it has romance.

"The Halo show disregards the games. The writers said so!"

The very first episode had several references to Halo CE. And the actual quote was more like, "We looked beyond the games." Which is extremely true because the more books I read, the more I noticed the inspirations for their choices.

For example in the first book the Main Director for the Spartan 2 Super Soldier program mentioned that she rejected the advice of wiping the Spartans memory. (or something to that effect). Her reasoning being that if they were to find out they were stolen from their parents, it won't bold well for their caretakers. So she went with just indoctrination. The show doesn't listen to this advice and guess what happens. A Spartan finds out about his past and doesn't take it well. This is used as evidence the show doesn't know the lore.

Taking a "what if" moment and exploring it. It's annoying. One can critique the pure indoctrination angle is a more psychologically interesting one but well, that's not what this post is about. This is more about how people act like the lack of KNOWLEDGE of lore is the fault.

And with Season 2 taking a different direction and even more characters more in-line with the extended lore depictions of themselves….this still happens. "The alien ship looks bad because they don't know the LORE man. Do they not know the lore???"

"I will act like choices I don't like are because of ignorance or arrogance from the writers, and not a creative decision I disagree with."

-Sci-Fi fans or something.

Patch Notes: Captain Shepard has been change to Commander Shepard Added a "Keep Reading" Marker

[the-bi-space-ace]

Let's Talk About Echo & Crosshair

This is going to be long winded so I will put my thoughts under the cut <3

Echo and Crosshair have a lot of similarities and I think a lot of that has to do with their experiences with trauma. They have reacted differently to that trauma but still, those similarities are there.

Let's start with the lightest of this discussion: their wit and personalities. Crosshair has a dry delivery, borderline or outwardly mean at times, and he tends to never beat around the bush. He's forward and stubborn and he will call you out if he thinks you're wrong (immediately his treatment of Rex comes to mind). Echo is similar in this dryness. He rolls his eyes a lot and he strikes me as the person to call out his loved ones when they're being absolutely obtuse. He speaks his mind and doesn't hide when he's upset. They are both on the blunter side of things but the way people react to Echo's bluntness versus Crosshair's definitely varies. I think this is because Crosshair can be cruel while Echo tends to hold his tongue and go for a, still forward, but more diplomatic way.

I also think they both lead with emotion. Crosshair we see be angry a lot more than any other emotion (but that doesn't mean he doesn't have other emotions). We see Echo have a lot of fire within him - usually pointed towards an injustice. He's willing to stand up for his family, testify for Riyo, and fight with Rex to save their brothers from the empire. We see Crosshair do this too when he fights so hard for Mayday. He sees a person who is so deserving of saving that he puts his all into doing just that. They are both willing to let their emotions guide them, it just manifests a little differently. Crosshair's is more passion and surges of protectiveness and loyalty while Echo's is more sustained and dialed in. They both have this loyalty towards their loved ones and their brothers but Echo's is more doing the right thing to keep people safe and Crosshair's is more: whatever it takes to get the best end result is the path I will take. Same idea different approach.

This plays into a trait that both of them have: a strong sense of loyalty. Loyalty is extremely important to both of them but Echo tends to let this loyalty drive him towards the greater good, a willingness and need to protect everyone not just those closest to him. Crosshair, on the other hand, lets this guide him to do just about anything to stay true to it. He'd willingly kill and die for those he is loyal to. Again we see their paths line up in a way that is just so similar and yet their reactions and how they use it is very different.

Now, for the biggest part of this: their trauma. We are well acquainted with Echo's trauma. He was left behind, captured, tortured, and mind controlled before his rescue. He suffered immense pain and has massive guilt over what he did when he did not have control. We see him struggle with PTSD, anger, and probably a lot of survivors guilt. His story is one soaked in tragedy but ultimately it is about overcoming odds and staying true to who you are even as the world caves in around you. We can see this struggle with Crosshair too. He was left behind which led to his continual torture and mind control. He was forced to do horrible things and endure a lot of pain and suffering along the way. But then we see him continue down a path with the empire and instead of overcoming and staying true to himself he latches onto the empire and starts to build his life around that instead. (We definitely got a lot of development in this area with episode 12 with seeing him save Mayday and shoot Nolan.) What I want to focus on here is why their responses to this are so different.

Echo, upon being rescued, had a massive support system to help him. He had Rex, this new squad, and an environment that was familiar to him despite how much he himself had changed. He had to adjust and adapt to this new reality of his but he still had so much of what he was used to that he was able to take that pain and start to cope with it. I definitely think he's got a lot left to work through but my point is that he was able to start the process in a healthier way. There was a stability built into it and it allowed him to grow and mature and hold onto his kind heart.

Crosshair on the other hand... He finally starts to wake up from the mind control. The brain washing wears off. And he's alone. There is zero support system for him to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. His family is gone. There is no one around who loves or supports him. He has done horrible things and hunted down the only people in the galaxy that care about him. And instead of coming out of the ordeal with a greater sense of self and an ability to overcome the anger and resentment inside of him it leaves him hollow and burrowing into himself to keep himself safe. He has no support system to help him emotionally so it festers and ends up hurting him even more.

They have such different reactions to coming out of the other side because they came to in much different circumstances. But in the end they would understand each other better than almost anyone else. They’ve been through very similar things and have made it to the other side. (and I think if anyone would understand Crosshair's anger it would be Echo, even if he doesn't agree with Crosshair's choices.)

I think it would be fantastic when Crosshair is reunited with his family that we see a moment where the two of them get to acknowledge that they have something even greater in common now. Even if it's silent or short. These two could draw so much healing from each other.

If you have things to add please please please feel free! I’m so interested to see what everyone else sees.

[feltpool]

Further to previous conversation with @proadhog

.

I love the Alien quadrilogy of films. I don’t remember how old I would have been but I was definitely younger than the recommended age rating when I watched the original one and it scared the crap out of me – so job well done there! I might have been old enough to watch Aliens by the time it became available for home rental, but I probably wasn’t. Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection I got to see in the cinema

But the more recent films, Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, didn’t really work for me

They had all of the things needed to fit into the Alien franchise

An isolated group of humans to encounter the Alien

The Xenomorph itself. Shown in all of the established developmental stages, however adapted to fit the setting

A Humanoid Synthetic whose name follows the previously established alphabetical naming convention

The involvement of the Weyland Corporation

But despite all of the effort put into coming at things from a different direction both films rely hard on repeating what came before while pretending they’re not doing that

Cut for plot spoilers

Prometheus brought us not one Strong Female Lead, but two of them. One to wield the flamethrower, have an antagonistic relationship with the onboard Synthetic, to get up close and personal with a male crew member, and ultimately die. And one to do battle with the Alien using loading equipment (or was that Covenant?), emote over the loss of varying crew members, to have an Alien growing inside of her, and to survive long enough to set up the next movie

Neither of them are like Ellen Ripley in character but they still enact their own versions of her prior actions, only without a cat or a small child in tow

We get the ‘literal talking head’ scene, David is 'David 8' even though the number is rarely mentioned, a deliberate introduction of Alien and human, and the ‘just when you thought it was all over…’ and ‘no way to turn back now’ horror film moments, and so much more

Covenant recycles the parts Prometheus passed over, again with minor alterations. The crew in hypersleep are unexpectedly awakened, they once more pick up a signal of unknown origin and follow it, there are a few thousand colonists available to get parasitized, the ship that landed on planet gets destroyed and they're cut off from radio contact so have to find another way to arrange for a pick up while time is running out, there’s another ‘Human Synthetic who’s actually a Good Guy’ (and who manages to buck the silly naming trend), another mad scientist type, the Xenomorph being called a ‘perfect organism’, an alt take on the laboratory scene from Alien: Resurrection, and a Xenomorph gets pushed out the door dramatically

The quality of the plot of the first 4 films was variable but they each had a different take on the same basic premise of ‘humans will find the Alien and then die horribly’. We knew where the story was going to go but they didn’t feel like they were repeating themselves beyond the standard constraints of being a part of a franchise and needing to fit into that framework. But while Prometheus puts effort into establishing a new setting and a new way to get the story going, once we reach the point of alien contact that all kind of seems like a waste of time since it no longer feels like they’re doing anything new with what they have available

[cannoli-reader]

The Importance of the Two Rivers’ Sexual Mores

OThis was a point I touched on in a much larger, to the tune of TL;DR, post concerning adaptational changes from books to show, and I wanted to go into it as a standalone thing, because I really believe it needs to be said.  Under a cut, because I’m probably going to go all Cannoli on this, length-wise..

A lot of people have Opinions on the No Sex Until Married rule that is the de jure standard in the Two Rivers, which (some of) the Emond’s Field kids take with them, to varying degrees, when they go into the world  It should be noted that this is not some hard and fast puritanical standard.  People seem to get married fairly early, if they do, since they are picking from a relatively limited pool of prospects, and the powers that be seem to be fairly understanding about hooking up as long as it is done with respect for the rules.  Furthermore, the only ones who really seem affected by that rule are Rand, and on one occasion each, Nynaeve and Egwene, and in their cases, just to pass judgment on someone else. Perrin gets married fairly quickly and Mat DGAF. And Rand’s citation of the Rules, could just as easily be a rationalization of negative feelings resulting from his own internalized belief that he does not get to be happy.  So I think when a lot of people start complaining about the Two Rivers sexuality, they are projecting their own feelings or experiences with real world institutions with such rules, and especially, the prospect of sexy fun times being curtailed.  

Which is not the most obvious reaction from fans of a series in which Mat, Lan, Morgase and Berelain are subjected to various degrees of sexual abuse and exploitation, and Perrin has more than a few problems for which he bears no blame, through failure of Berelain to understand and respect his sexual boundaries, precisely because she comes from a less restrictive culture (along with the possibility that her  own sexual exploitation was a result of Mayene’s looser rules).  

I have seen readers who explicitly recognize and denounce what happens to Mat & Lan, nonetheless applaud or approve of the customs of “pretties” in Ebou Dar and the carneira in Malkier, again, projecting real world attitudes onto a practice that only superficially resembles the theoretical ideal in the real world, in this case, the idea of young people receiving practical sexual education, to constructively channel their hormonal urges, to guide them to a healthy embrace of their sexuality, and avoid traumatic experiences or harmful behavior caused by a combination of uncontrollable urges and a lack of knowledge.  When they are not outright admitting to pervy pedo fantasies or adolescent wish fulfilment, these concepts are almost always presented accompanied by a denunciation of puritanical, repressive and obsolete restrictions. And it is really weird for people to apply that theory to what we see in WoT of pretties and carneira, since the only on-page examples of both those customs features the older and more experienced party grossly abusing the spirit and even the letter of the law of the customs for their own agenda or gratification, and still getting away with it, even when their abuse is recognized as such.  But Edeyn Arrell’s treatment of Lan and Tylin’s treatment of Mat are acknowledged by characters in the story to be violations, who do absolutely nothing about it, except for not actively hindering the victim’s attempts to extricate himself from the abusive situation!  

Basically, while the idea of looking up from a coital entanglement with your future spouse, to see Nynaeve glaring at you, with the promise of an uncomfortable encounter with the Women’s Circle in her eyes, seems a lot less appealing than a graduate level course in Sex Ed at the hands of a smoking hot cougar in a palace bedchamber, one of those practices does not lead to, or promote, sexual abuse and one is shown to multiple times.  The Two Rivers way is not as bad as some people make it out to be, is what I am saying.

 But more important than whether or not the Two Rivers thing is good or bad for the characters, is the role it plays in the story itself.  As I noted, it is not a big thing that really has an impact all that much. Perrin or Mat are never shown to be guided or inhibited by the rules.  Egwene has an incongruous and largely subconscious disapproval of Elayne’s incompatible, to her eyes, reproductive situation and marital status, which she does not act on, and Nynaeve’s stream of consciousness phrasing of her observation of the interactions between bonded Aes Sedai and Asha’man includes her suspicion that they are “sharing a bed outside wedlock.”  But here’s the thing.  Nynaeve tends toward hyperbolic expressions that she does not act upon, and she has a more intuitive than analytical way of looking at things, processing observations through an emotional rather than logical framework.  What she is really fuming about is the inexplicably amicable relationships between Asha’man and Aes Sedai.  Nynaeve knows there is something going on beneath the surface there (and the readers already know that the Aes Sedai are making a premeditated effort to ingratiate themselves with their bondholders, while in general thinking with the common stereotype that men are easily controlled, or rendered amenable, by a sexual partner, so she’s not wrong), she doesn’t have enough to know what, and it bothers her, so she expresses her discontent with the situation by focusing on the familiar, namely her reaction for her customary position as the Wisdom in charge of upholding propriety for the Emond’s Field community.  Notice that what we never see her do is denounce, interfere with, or even express an opinion on Rand and Min openly cohabitating in the weeks they have been traveling with her since leaving Caemlyn, just as Egwene does or says nothing about Elayne’s pregnancy. 

And whatever he might think or say, Rand really doesn’t let those Two Rivers inhibitions hold him back.  When Berelain comes on to him, he cites a non-existent commitment to Egwene, which is hardly a value unique to the Two Rivers, whatever Berelain says, while thinking that he does not want a casual encounter with someone who is only interested in him as an object or status symbol instead of as a person. And his repressive Two Rivers upbringing has not remotely impeded his ability to recognize this motivation in a sexual encounter, nor left him vulnerable to exploitation through his lack of hands-on experience.   He brings up the necessity for marrying to rectify the situation after he sleeps with Aviendha, but there are other factors at play there, too. First of all, while he cites the rules, that is not his motivation in his stream of consciousness.

“’... I want to.' He was not sure of that at all, really... But for once he could do what was right because it was right.”

Rand’s impulse behind his proposal is driven by his ongoing need to keep breaking rules and violating his standards, in response to political realities.  He has to execute law breakers, he has to send men into danger or death, he has to overlook wrongdoing because he lacks the capacity to put a stop to it, or because he must prioritize greater evils (Morgase and Rahvin, for example) and he does not excuse his fault in these things because they are necessary.  But at every turn, he sees himself slipping, he sees himself losing a part of who and what he thought he was, or what he thinks he wants to be.  The rules and standards for being a decent person were things he absorbed as he was growing up, and are all the harder to overcome or set aside because of that.  They have very little to do with where and when he uses his genitalia, but about treating people in the right way and upholding your responsibilities. And unlike Elayne, for example, he was never taught that there are times when he might have to do the kinds of moral triage he is forced to all the time now.  It all ties in to his ongoing struggle with the loss of his identity and self-conception, and while he accepts that he has to let some parts of his old self go, it’s not easy, and something inside him rebels against it.  And rightfully so, because that fundamental decency is far more important to defeating the Dark One than any ability to make ruthlessly practical decisions to achieve a theoretical great good based on numbers or power calculations.  So when he comes across a situation where he does not have to act as the Dragon Reborn, and ignore the right thing to do, he is going to push to do that right thing.  That he believes he is doing right by a woman he loves only adds to that impetus.  And that he does not understand the woman he loves enough to recognize what she might actually want or see as important is pure Rand al’Thor.  

It’s the same thing with Min when he says that the Women’s Circle would not be amused by her rationalization of their spontaneous sexual encounter.  It’s not that he actually fears their judgment or even really thinks they are right, it’s just a handy reference point he can latch on to when arguing for his own condemnation.  Because of the trauma and self-recriminations he has undergone since his last sexual encounter (not helped by his own ignorance of what underlay Aviendha’s apparent rejection of him - in that case, the Aiel rules, for all their greater degree of sexual freedom & agency, do a lot more harm to their relationship or coming to a mutual understanding, than Two Rivers repression), he refuses to believe that Min wants to be intimate in any way, emotionally or sexually, with him, because he sees himself as toxic and harmful to others. He thinks the best thing for Min is to have as little as possible to do with him, and so he frames his actions toward her in the worst possible light, and cites the Women’s Circle as an authority who would agree with him.  It’s not the Women’s Circle he cites when Min propositions him later that day, despite her using the same term he says would have them “lining up to peel our hides”, it’s the practical priority of getting the most use out of his ta’veren nature while it is running strong.  Because “me time” is another thing Rand does not believe he deserves.  In subsequent books, his idea of what is good for his partners is the only thing that seems to hold him back at all, certainly never the morals of Emond’s Field or the wrath of the Wisdom. He never once notes any issues about sharing a bedroom with Min while in Nynaeve’s company in Far Madding and Tear. 

And yes, there are people who deride or mock or joke about Rand’s early awkwardness with regard to sex, and attribute it to his virginity and repression and if he and Egwene had just been having a fun old time when they were back in Emond’s Field, he’d have been so much more mature and able to cope with this situations better.  Maybe, but I suspect what is really going on there is vicarious identification with Rand, and a reluctance to see him come off less than spectacularly which I also suspect is at the root of a lot of criticism of Cadsuane’s treatment of him, and mischaracterizing her behavior, because of how it makes Rand feel or look.  They don’t like our boy being embarrassed, even if he deserves it, or it humanizes him. 

But those moments of awkwardness around the opposite sex serve a narrative purpose.  You see, Rand largely does move away from the Two Rivers shepherd we meet in the opening chapter, while remaining the same person.  It’s tricky to see how he has changed when we are in his head (part of the reason, I believe, why he has so little PoV material in The Dragon Reborn, to create a continuity break for the readers in his growth, so when we are presented with him anew in The Shadow Rising, we are no longer seeing the in-over-his-head shepherd who thinks he is only faking being a leader in tGH, but taking him in as a new iteration of the character), and it is important to the story’s purpose to remind us that under all the changes he is still the same Rand.  

That is the reason for the sexual awkwardness. In each case, it comes to undercut a moment of power or apparent change for Rand.  First, we see his reaction to Else Grinwell’s undisguised interest in him.  He and Mat have just stumbled onto a method of facilitating their journey and gaining resources, but his inability to deal with Else’s possible advances, and the danger he might face from being perceived as the one at fault serve reinforce that even with the  financial possibilities of the Emond Field Boy Band, they are still vulnerable in many ways and the ability to acquire food & lodgings they could not afford before this does not alleviate those dangers.

Next, he finds himself in the Royal Palace in Caemlyn, where it is discovered that he carries the weapon of a blademaster, and the most respected military mind in the room believes and argues that it is legitimately his sword.  He responds to the implicit threat of the attention of a Red Ajah Aes Sedai by standing up for himself, by arguing back against her speculations and even denying her knowledge of his housing situation.  This is kind of a high point for Rand at this place in the books, even in spite of the face-palming nature of his current predicament.  And the Queen believes him, rather than suspecting him or refusing to do anything for him, and gives him justice!  Awesome!  Rand is doing good.  So he gets cocky and tries to snark with Elayne, who, after all, was the one most to blame for the peril her mother has just lifted, but he is just not qualified to challenge someone trained to dominate social situations, since she learned to talk, and Elayne yanks the rug back out from under him with a comment that is both flirtatious and pointing out how she could have made it even worse.

Next we get it in Cairhien, where, between Lan’s lessons, Moiraine’s wardrobe upgrade, Ingtar’s notice of his promotion to second in command and Hurin needing him to take command, Rand is starting to do a pretty good job at acting like the man in charge and like someone who knows what he is doing.  He is asserting himself to a solider-lord and an Aes Sedai, and even his friends are starting to recognize he is becoming something more than a shepherd tourist.  Reunited with Verin & Ingtar, both of them validate his performance while alone and nominally in command.  And then he goes to Barthanes’ party, and manages to look like he belongs, or at least no one is kicking him out, and all the stuff he’s been told all book long that he can be a big shot seems like it just might be working.  So of course RJ has an assortment of Cairhienin ladies approach and proposition him in an extremely unsubtle fashion, until he flees to hide behind Thom, until Mat arrives to present the much less daunting prospect of confronting whatever Darkfriends might be on the trail he has just picked up. 

It’s something similar with Berelain sneaking into his bedroom - he made it to Tear in spite of a wide array of threats, he’s killed Forsaken, the High Lords, whose attitudes we got a sample of in Mat’s ill-fated card game, feel compelled to give him the best rooms, and he can create a lightsaber out of thin air, but he has no idea what to do about the sexy chick whose clothes are vanishing as they speak, beyond keeping her away with a force field, and even that doesn’t seem to be working.  As I mentioned above, the Rand to whom we are reintroduced in tSR has grown into his power and the leadership role he had extreme doubts about two books ago.  He even comes across as more physically powerful, with Berelain referencing his appearance in his first PoV chapter and Egwene and Elayne both taking note of his stature and physical presence, before his second. For myself, when I first read tSR, the mental image in my head was of a bigger individual, with a more imposing presence, like seeing Clark Kent in Book 1 & 2 and Superman in Book 4, or from Thomas Anderson in cubical-wear in EotW to Neo in a trench coat in tSR.  But RJ does not let us forget that he is still the same guy who was excited to meet the new visitors to the village on Winternight, by having him flail around helplessly or blushing or avoiding eye contact when Berelain or Elayne is in his bedroom. 

This is also why, from a Doylist perspective, Egwene has the stray thought changing her clothes to Two Rivers garb in bemusement at Elayne’s pregnancy or Nynaeve huffing about unmarried people sleeping together.  It’s just a reminder that the woman about to brief Aviendha on Aes Sedai issues and potential security concerns and the avatar of awesome who is about epically win the saga of Malkier, are still the two people who turned up huffing in disapproval at Mat’s antics, back when that seemed like a significant conflict.  

In short, the sexually conservative ways of the Two Rivers are one of the most effective and efficient ways in which Robert Jordan maintains continuity between the origins of the main characters, and the people they grow into, and serves better than anything to remind us that under all the powers, skills, experiences and burdens, they have not forgotten where they came from. 

[mongrelmutt]

Continuing the Jules Verne kick with "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea"

Under a cut because this is longer than the others:

- This is my least favorite of his books so far. I am falling asleep while reading it.

- The professor calling Conseil his "boy" when Conseil is 30 years old, and only 10 years younger than him  😬😬😬

- *Hisses at Captain Nemo* Bad Vibes

- I'm pretty sure physics doesn't work like this, but I don't know enough to argue. Nor do I care enough to look it up. I am just so bored. Please get to more interesting things. 

- Also, lol of course the Victorian dudes would be like "WHALE BODIES MUST BE STRONG AND IMMOVEABLE LIKE MANLY IRON TO DIVE SO DEEP AND NOT BE KILLED!" Wrong! they squish and adjust their innards to adapt to the pressure: 

- Trying to suss out what (if any) real sea life is being described when no name is given, just fantastic descriptions.

- Sleeping underwater in scuba gear seems... unwise.

- More 19th century anthropology 😬😬😬

- Yes, yes I understand that the water temperature is invariably 4⁰ wherever and whatever time of the year at depth. You've said that like 8 times already. This had better turn out to be relevant. [Note: not particularly]

- I do not like Ned Lands.

- Shark slander 😭

((Why did the myth that sharks have to turn over to bite things last so long? I remember it from "James and the Giant Peach" as well. I would have thought enough people would have at least seen sharks biting bait at the surface by the 1800s for this to be known false?))

- Man, these guys are a bloodthirsty lot. Every new animal they see they're like "Can I kill it?? Please let me kill it! Let's kill it! 😈 Man, wouldn't you jump at the chance to kill sharks like you do bears and lions??" :/

- At the same time they're afraid of everything, assume it's dangerous, and, if not killed instantly, will retaliate violently in revenge, including a freaking *dugong.*

- Wow, some people at least knew industrial commercial whaling was unsustainable and would result in the whales' extinction even in the late 1800s! Wild that it took almost 100 years to get it (mostly) banned!

- *head desk* Nemo is such a hypocrite (I imagine that may be The Point)

- Ugggghhh the whole "predators are evil, vicious monsters, and we need to slaughter them all without mercy to protect the poor innocent prey animals" attitude still so prevalent today.

- ...wait, those are *sperm whales*?? I thought they meant killer whales at first! Sperm whales  don't even eat baleen whales... All that brutal slaughter for nothing :'( 

- ... Bonus for an even more uncomfortable use of "voluptuous" than Bram Stoker! Seal eyes are described as "voluptuous" 😆

- Of all the sea creatures to declare harmless Verne chose *elephant seals* 🤦🤣

- YAY THE KRAKEN!! At least these covers haven't lied to me!! :D 

- aaaw no, the giant squid didn't play nearly as big a part as advertised *le sigh*

- Ah, the classic "crap I've written my characters into a deadly corner, time to knock out the POV character and have them wake up safe in bed later." 

- Why did the Professor talk about Lands like he was dead at the beginning? I can see a few reasons from the author's perspective (varying from "deliberate red herring to increase the suspense" to "oops I forgot dude was originally going to die and didn't correct it") but not from the character's? It's not even like he was reflecting on the matter from decades later, when Ned might have died after the story, they're all still chilling together in Norway waiting for a steamer home?

Lands: Stop telling people I died.

Professor Aronnax: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

- Welp, I did enjoy the sea critters and fun steampunk machines, just not the long rambling bits that seemed to overwhelm the story for me

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 4 Group 17

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

Spider Crew: White, Ariel, Sophia, Merazophis & Wrath

Joestar Group: Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, Noriaki Kakyoin, Jean-Pierre Polnareff, Muhammad Avdol, Iggy the Fool

Submissions are still open!

Spider Crew:

they've all lost everything and found each other. They're from an Isekai story where a gaggle of characters including White, Sophia, and Wrath were reincarnated into a fantasy world. (SPOILERS ahead if you've seen the anime these scenes have not been adapted from the books yet!) I won't make you hear the entire synopsis but I think the most telling thing is when they were marching into war with a planned high casualty rate Ariel asked White (who didn't have a name before Ariel started calling her White!!) what their chances were of winning and she said 50% then she asked her the chances of everyone living and White knew she meant their inner circle and internally listed the others I mentioned above and first thought it was very slim and then said 100% and made sure that was true. White was entirely alone and "liked it that way" before incidentally grouping up with the others listed above and now she cares about them so much. The world is ending and she needs to use every bit of magic energy she can to fix it but still offered to expend some of that to send the other reincarnations back to Earth and didn't extend it to the other reincarnations! Its no small thing! But she'll take the risk and sacrifice it for them! Ariel first said she was only protecting Sophia and Merazophis because she thought it would get her on White's good side but that's definitely not all there is to it anymore!

Also who doesn't love a found family that includes elements of previously attempting to kill each other (White vs Ariel and later the group vs Wrath)

I know the submissions post said some people can be related but let me be clear: technically Ariel is White's grandmother. I wanted to include the puppet sisters as well (Ael, Sael, Riel, and Fiel) but they're Ariel's children and that would make the group 6 related and 3 not and it felt too imbalanced then. You don't get much of a "familial bond" impression off of White and Ariel when they first meet or until book 7 whereas the puppets feel like Ariel's children the way they look up to her and she definitely mothers them. And ironically they feel more like White's nieces rather than her aunts lol

Unfortunately they become a fam in the books only after where the anime currently leaves off so there's very little official art of most of them and none including Wrath who didn't join the group until Volume 9 I think? (and the anime stops at the end of book 6 right before the other 4 group up ;n;) but I found some things :p

Joestar Group:

Iconic himbo squad off to defeat the world's bitchiest vampire. Each of them has their own personal reason to journey and varying skills to bring to the family.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I would not be surprised at all if this turned out to be The Fanservice Season of all time and mostly fluff, because Gaiman said that a season THREE would be an adaptation of the planned sequel novel. This is more like,,, an intermediate setup for the sequel. And I also heard that some stuff got cut out because of COVID complications. So on one hand I'm kind of, worriedly, expecting a dip in quality with S2; but it makes me wonder if we're going to get any real answers at all until the very last minute.

hey anon, evening!!!✨ not sure if you necessarily asked for it, but here's my take on what you've shared💓

i hear you re: concerns, and i think that is a risk with any sequel; that it won't carry the same panache, or quality, or heart and soul of what the original source material was or meant to be. this fandom is incredibly fervent and enthusiastic and every single one of us wants it to succeed, so it's only natural that the fandom might carry these doubts to varying degrees. the concern is usually only meant out of the sheer hope that it will be a fitting continuation of this hugely loved and magnificent book and series, rather than out-and-out pessimism that by nature of being a sequel, it was always doomed to failure.

the concern isn't unfounded... on paper. COVID had the potential to be fatal to elements of the tv/film industry, and certainly the way it works has since changed dramatically... some of it for worse, some of it for better. as you say, neil has been really candid that it affected the budget of s2 and therefore posed certain limitations, but i truly don't think it's going to be to s2's detriment. there is also the fact that there is no novel from which s2 will be adapted. however, that novel started in neil and terry's minds, the same genesis as s2/s3, and regardless of terry sadly having since passed away, it will always be the story they want or wanted to tell.

frankly, i think neil is naturally the no.1 fan of the story they built and were planning to build together (would be alarming if he weren't!) and obviously cares very deeply about not only it and its characters, but also the legacy that it embodies. if neil states that he's happy with, and proud of, how s2 turned out, im more than inclined to trust and believe him. he has the highest stake out of anyone else involved; cast, crew, studio, or fan.

exposition in books (from the uneducated, inexperienced view of this reader) is arguably easier to navigate than translating the same to screen. you have a literal narration in books as opposed to it being optional in tv (eg god in s1), whether that be 1st/2nd/3rd person, a central character or side character, whoever. so, elements like thought processes have to be acted out through an experience or as dialogue, rather than an inner-monologue recollection. a memory has to be actualised, rather than just remembered, because we don't have a written narrative to help us. for example, in the hypothetical book sequel, aziraphale could remember the job incident with probably a one page summary, and that would get the point across - but to adapt that the screen, that's going to require a more literal depiction so that the audience is up to speed, and there's no ambiguity.

so my thought process would be that s3, yes, would have been the hypothetical second book, but for tv's sake, s2 is made from elements of the first and second book combined. as you say, it's made to build a bridge to s3 where, i imagine, the proverbial will hit the fan. all of that set up, the exposition, background narrative, needs to be laid out somewhere, and im inferring that it would be altogether too much to put into a s3. hence s2 will exist. it would be a big story to tell, and easier to do in two books than in two series.

my gut feeling is, and i totally realise a) others may not agree, and b) this may end up being wrong, but some of that set-up in s2 is going to be a major tone shift. there usually is in any show/film or book series; in the middle of the overall story, the characters are put against conflict usually not only working against them collectively, but conflict also amongst each other. i don't think it will be any different for s2; that there will be something that occurs in this series that will carry the driving emotion into s3.

i truly and honestly hope that i am surprised by the boys not having any conflict between each other (as well as conflict with Other Entities) by the end of s2, and i would love for the opening of s3 to be rooted in solidarity and togetherness between them both, but i just somehow don't feel like it will... but that's my expectation, not a certainty. in any case, regardless of the S2 Angst Debate, this season is again set up for s3, so yes - i think it's guaranteed that all of the threads from s2 will weave together in perhaps the last ten or so minutes, and the final Problem will be revealed as the "dun-dun-dun" moment to propel us into s3.

as for fanservice? id respectfully disagree, and say i don't think it will be fanservice at all. fanservice looks different for different people, and honestly nowhere more than in GO. some people will want certain romantic moments, or certain hurt/comfort moments, angst moments, intimate moments, conflict moments, historical narrative moments... you catch my drift. neil has been pretty adamant that the story and canon is where he takes it, and is pretty upfront that he takes measures to avoid fans' headcanons and fic wherever possible. so actually, if someone's headcanon happens on screen, doesn't that just mean that that someone had the same thought for where these characters were going as neil did when he wrote it? that's not fanservice in my eyes, that's just being on the same wavelength as the author, and that - in my opinion - would be pretty cool.✨

[atrenchcoatfilledwithbeees]

I DIDNT KNOW WHERE ELSE TO TALK TO YOU AND IDK HOW TO USE TUMBLR BUT HERE IT GOES.

Dear God I'm so happy to see someone else who has as much dislike for the movie as I do. 😭 I read the books religiously since it's original release and was soo dissapointed. The casting felt more like I'm gonna cast popular actors cause I can with no regard for the books? I get one or two characters but the entire cast looking randomized bothered me exponentially. Seeing that Sophie's character was reduced to shit dissapointed me even more. She was well fleshed out from the beginning. I have alot of sympathy for the people who thought Agatha and Sophie would be dating but I also have a diff perspective in context of the books. Right from the beginning of the book they can barely function AS FREINDS. She never befriended Agatha out of good will either she thought being freinds with a freak counted as a good deed and kept this same mindset. She continues to be varying levels of selfish all through the book and then gets rid of Agatha the moment she is no longer needed. The actor seems much too pretty to be Agatha idk? I know everyone saw her mirror scene as gaining confidence but I saw it more as acceptance in a sense? And the general understanding that the way she acted also drove people away from her. To hear the movie cut that out is hmm. Blood magic? Why did they remove Sader and Evelyn and merge her with Lesso. Doesn't that collapse major parts of the later books.

Getting rid of everyone on the teachers staff seems odd. Uma ,Yuba ect

The evil students look like cheap DnD cosplayer teens and not malicious

Revealing the school master thing was an idiotic move and he's just ROAMING ARROUND???

They majorly fumbled with the characters ages. I know most people would like them to be teens but I feel like them being preteens/early teens helped play into things such as tedros bad Decision making and general pettiness. Why Sophie lashes out at her father ect ect

The side characters development made up most of the books. It's never focused on as a main point but introduced in the school entrance scenes and built up during class and other past times. Making them not important also seems like a bad move. I hate Harry Potter and don't wanna use this comparison but the movies did a good job of bringing over the relationships from the books.

What was up with removing major parts of the story to replace with foolishness the movie seems like a massive jumbled mess and a far cry from the books

Epxecting everything to be exactly like the books isn't an option really but these just felt like major parts from the book and bc they were cut the movie is a jumbled mess in return. I just hope more people start to read the books before saying silly stuff 😭

Omg yea I swear tumblr seems to be the only place where people are actually criticising the movie for what it is: a total shitshow.

Half the people I’ve spoken to who’ve watched it haven’t even read the books which is so annoying because the books are just genuinely so much better. I know that movie adaptations can’t keep everything the same but it felt like they’d just been given a few names and a vague plot and I seriously doubt that anyone who made it actually read the books given that the very first line of the first book doesn’t work in the context of the movie due to their removal of a key plot point

Overall I kinda wish it just never got made into a film: it’s pretty unnecessary and barely follows the plot at all

[thorarms]

Sorry i was referring to ur post hating on how mobius called loki a man of action. Why can't loki be also a man of action he grew up around THOR. Also maybe its a new thing loki is letting show instead of being cautious. He is the god of mischief and chaos after all

Ok ive taken a couple of days to have a think and give you a proper answer.

In short, because it's lazy and lets the writers avoid having to write loki with any consistent character traits.

Long answer below the cut

I have a lot of semi connected thoughts about this and this post might end up a bit of a ramble, uh so sorry i guess.

I think it's important to remember that loki as a marvel character has existed since the 1960s, and thus has 60 or so years of characterisation already there. Over the years this has varied a bit due to many different writers and their different visions for their stories, but they tend to stay fairly consistent. Loki is a villian (or is perceived as one by others), he plans elaborate schemes usually with the end goal of the destruction of asgard and/or thor, and he tends to play the long game. In short, he's been consistently characterised as a much more methodical and yes, cerebral character than thor.

In addition, theres 11 years of specifically mcu loki characterisation, which was originally constructed from the loki we see in the comics. This is the baseline of mcu lokis character, and thus should still be there in other stories and adaptations.

What's actually interesting to me though, is that loki HAS been shown as a man of action before. In Thor 2011. Specifically at the end of the movie, after his entire life has fallen apart at the seams and he's in the middle of an emotional breakdown. His actions get more impulsive as the movie progresses, and it ends with him trying to destroy Jotunheim, goading thor into an argument and a huge fight, then letting go of the bifrost and falling to his assumed death.

What makes this work and still feel in character is that lokis impulsive and reckless desicions come from his emotional instability. The viewer gets to see his facade break and watch him deteriorate from slowly and meticulously planning to ruin thors coronation and stop him from taking the throne, to deciding on the spur of the moment to point the bifrost at Jotunheim and, afterwards, decide to let go of gungnir and plummet into the void (i love this movie so much can you tell).

All of this really is to say that loki CAN be reckless and impulsive just like thor. It just has to be well written and considered. And season one of the show very much was Not That.

With the gift of hindsight, it's been very clear that the writers of season one were not interested in maintaining any of lokis previous characterisation and, given what we've seen so far in the trailer, im not exactly holding out hope that season two will be any different.

The last thing i wanna mention is that the way you phrased your ask, with loki deciding himself to become less cautious, is quite interesting to me. Im sure you dont need me to tell you that loki isnt real, hes a fictional character and thus has no autonomy of his own. Every thought, word and action was a deliberate decision from the writers and actors creating these stories (often with their own preconceptions and biases of the character subconsciously thrown in). What im trying to get at is that ultimately, loki as a character is a vehicle for telling an aspect of a story. And it's the writers job to tell that story well. And if loki suddenly has a change of heart and decides to start acting the complete opposite of his former self, the writers should have a damn good reason for choosing to do that. Otherwise, it's just poorly written. And frankly i dont want to watch a poorly written show.

Whoops this was way longer than i intended im so sorry anyways i hope this answers your question about why i wrote a silly post about a throwaway line in a trailer for a show im probably not even going to watch. Probably.

[pinkskytwst]

Hi everyone, I've been dealing with a really bad migraine flare up that almost sent me to the ER. Last week was the worst of it so I'm hoping to maybe do some posting or writing now.

Side note, though, while I was laying in bed wanting to die I tried destracting myself with ideas and such about TWST and the one that wouldn't leave me alone was regarding the Flames and Harmony aspects of the anime/manga called Katekyou Hitman Reborn.

For those of you not familiar with it, it started out as a gag manga about mafia but the magical system in the story centered around 'soul flames' or 'Dying Will Flames' that some people have/awaken when subjected to a situation that almost kills them and their will to live awakens the flame.

There are 7 different kinds and they each burn with their own color and have their own typical attributes. It's not really clear if a person's personality determines which flame they get or if their flame influences their personality but I'm going with the idea that a person's base personality determines what flame they awaken.

The 7 Types and their colors are:

Storm: Red - the most naturally destructive with the ability to disentigrate. Storm personalities tend to go between extremes and are not necessarily aggressive but active and passionate. They can find it hard to regulate their emotions but those emotions fuel their powers/flames more and they can be the most dangerous to fight head on.

Sky: Orange - the rarest of flames and the only one that can be passed down genetically. Skies can have children of any flame but only Skies can give birth to Sky children. They have the ability of Harmony that can bring all the other flames together and bond (think soulmates but not necessarily romantic). This is an actual, tangible bond that allows them to sort of mentally/emotionally feel the others in their bond. Fandom ranges on just how much someone can feel/read from this but they are at least able to feel the other bonds. Skies tend to be people that natrually draw others to them and so are placed as leaders.

Sun: Yellow - Suns are, excuse the pun, bright. They purposefully gather attention because they bask in it and enjoy what it brings. Their power is 'activation' which typically can be utilized for healing to activate healing properties in someone but can also be used destructively. They tend to take control of situations from the start and their attention can be overwhelming if not focused or controlled.

Lightning: Green - Lightnings are ADHD Hyperfixations personified. They tend to be extremely skilled and talented in one area/field while everything else is ignored. Their power is 'harden' which allows them to do things like make their skin stronger than steel or creat a shield for protection. Their personalities vary a bit with how they handle things outside of their focus subject/talent but if you have their attention then you are the ONLY thing on their mind during that time.

Rain: Blue - Rains have the power of tranquility and because of that tend to be the peacekeepers. They have excelent control of their emotions and are able to understand others' emotions and how to soothe/slow them into something more manageable or focused. They are also the ones that can be the most ruthless as they can cut off their own emotions from a given situation if need be. They can also 'slow' someone physically with their flames as well as mentally. They are the most 'fluid' and can adapt extremely well to any given situation.

Mist: Indigo - Mists are the 'Scorpios' of the flames and tend to overly plan with plans on top of those plans to cover every possibility. They are also the hardest to read as they tend to show the world exactly what they want to show the world and they rarely present their true self. They are typically mysterious or vague but not always and their masks can change at a moment's notice depending on the person.

Cloud: Violet - Clouds are the roamers of the flames, the adventurers that aren't content with how things are, where they are, what they know. They are always looking for something new and exciting to grab their interest and can bounce around from place to place or topic to topic incredibly fast. They are paradoxically the most 'territorial', though it's sometimes difficult to gain their trust. If they see something or someone as 'theirs' no one will be able to attempt anything without them throwing themsleves in between without hesitation. Their power is 'multiply' so they could multiply the number of candies in a dish or they could multiply the number of organs in a person's body and cause them to explode.

So, all of that to say I took a long time to decide what each TWST boy is lol.

Here's what I came up with.

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Heartslabyul:

Riddle: Sun, wants the best for everyone but his upbringing warped it to harmful.

Ace: Mist, hands down. This boy shows exactly what he wants to show them, most of the time that's a bit of an idiot but all the better to have people underestimate him.

Deuce: Storm, passionate and trying to contain himself better than when he was younger but it is still hard to regulate sometimes.

Trey: Rain.

Cater: Inverted Sun, rare flame that activates incorrectly or is warped. He craves what a Sun craves but his flames aren't there to help him with the confidence/air to pull it off.

Savanaclaw:

Leona: Storm, not necessarily because of his UM but because of his moods. He runs hot and cold and extreme of those even to where his lows are near suicidal. Very dangerous when motivated.

Ruggie: Cloud, can't stop moving but absolutely devoted to those he sees as 'his' or believes in. Why he's so loyal to Leona even after almost being killed by him and why he does so much to help his community, his 'territory'.

Howl: Rain. Pretty standard actually.

Octavinelle:

Azul: Rain, but not because of the water. He can completely cut his emotions off for the most part to get what needs done to reach a goal. Very analytical and emotionally intelligent about others even if not always about himself. He knows how to take what he understands about people and use it how he needs. The twins aren't the only reason he's gotten away with so much.

Jade: Mist, definitely likes manipulation and wearing masks but let's his wants/what he finds interesting control more of what he does than Azul. He just doesn't show it.

Floyd: Storm. Pretty obvious with him.

Scarabia:

Kalim: Texbook Sun. Sunshine sunshine sunshine. Wants to take care of everyone and be surrounded by friends/people at all times. Is happiest when everyone else is happy too.

Jamil: Rain (ironic with Kalim's UM), he has been forced to learn how to wear a mask but it's not a natural thing that he came by. He ENJOYS showing his true feelings. He's very analytical and strategic and like Azul can separate himsefl from a situation (Overblot excluded because of the extreme circumstances and being repressed for so long) but he is able to take control of a situation and calm people when needed to handle what is happening around him.

Pomefiore:

Vil: Sun, very obvious Sun that is more self focused and proud of his accomplishments/skills and revels in the praise he feels he has earned. Pride is mostly how his flame shows up.

Rook: Cloud, wants to explore/experience everything beautiful. Bounces from one thing to another but absolutely loyal to who he chooses to connect with.

Epel: Sun (Pomefiore is mostly made of Suns). Not so much about being proud but he is passionate about reaching and focusing on what he wants to gain/reach (being manly). Has a temper, yes, but not the high lows that a Storm might have.

Ignihyde:

Idia: Lightning. One of the few but very very firm Lightning. Great at technology where his passion lies but fails in everything else (socially). Doesn't need anything but his hyperfixation to be happy.

Ortho: Sun. Absolute ball of Sunshine. (If we wanted to take a darker tone Mist but I still think he's more of a Sun with a desperate want to take care of/protect his brother)

Diasomnia:

Malleus: Comes off as a Mist but is a Cloud that isn't allowed to roam. He wants to see so much, to experience so much, but can't. When he finds someone/something he claimes as his, though, he will tear the world apart to protect them. (As we can see from Chapter 7)

Lilia: Mist. Who knows what this old man is thinking. He'll take off a mask and have ten more under it. If you somehow gain his absolute trust then he might show you a hint, but only a hint. Wouldn't want you to get bored with him.

Silver: Rain, I mean he's the most soothing person in the whole game. If we take the 'curse' as a Flame thing we could even say he's inverted to a degree that he unintentionally puts himslef to sleep with his abilities.

Sebek: Lightning. Yes, I might say Storm but he doesn't really come down from his 'high' and he is DEFINITELY hyperfixated on his duty/devotion to Malleus. Far more competent in his skills and talents than most give him credit for but I don't care who he's related to or knows, if he wasn't one of THE BEST he wouldn't have been allowed to become Malleus's retainer, especially so young. It's just a nice ironic twist that it matches his theme.

So that's everyone...untiiiiiiiil the Prefect/Yuu/MC shows up.

Skies have either stopped existing/being born in TWST for so long people don't even remember someone with those Flames, or they never existed there in the first place.

The Prefect is a Sky, though, and they can either be aware of it or be oblivious but whatever it is no one has ever felt drawn to anyone they way they are the Prefect.

Now it's a race to try and prove themself/grow a bond close enough with them for them to Harmonize.

8DDDD please, anyone that wants to write this just tag me please! I would love to see it!