#so yes i am very glad he's back what a guy what a dude what a legend

[ivysprophecy]

slim pickins

warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing

no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

word count; 1911

summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.

thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.

they are all taken. its plain and simple.

which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.

i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.

and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.

needless to say pope had to drag her away.

after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.

"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.

"im good with whatever"

i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.

"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.

"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.

i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.

he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.

he walks so slow for being 6'3.

and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again

"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.

"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.

"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."

"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.

jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"

and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.

"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.

jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.

but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.

"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.

"in your dreams honey."

"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.

now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.

watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.

random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.

unless theyre with jj.

but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.

is that a bit dramatic? probably.

i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.

so of course im not going to date him, why would i?

what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!

"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."

"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.

he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."

curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.

when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.

he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'

"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face

i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"

"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."

"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."

"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."

"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."

he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"

"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."

we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.

"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."

"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"

"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."

"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."

"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.

just like it does every other time.

i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.

jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.

"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"

john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"

oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"

jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.

"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"

"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.

"are you gonna put me down now?"

he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.

"youre a pervert."

"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"

oh im gonna kill him...

oh wait! im gonna kill him!

"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.

he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."

i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.

"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."

it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.

its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.

i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"

and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.

"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.

just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.

"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."

"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.

am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.

but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.

[burnyourtrains]

VAMPIREAPOLOGIST IS BACK AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME???????

HOW DARE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

He is like an angel to me <3

[bonesy-doodles]

TELL US ALL OF YOUR GHOUL HEADCANONS ‼️🙏💕

I mean, you asked for this!!! This is probably not all of my headcanons, just the ones I could remember off the top of my head, as this is all still a work in progress for me!

I will also include the Ghouls pictures again so people can refer back their designs cause I do touch on design choices for them as they, to me, are included in headcanons as every makes their ghouls unique on some way.

Okay, first up!

DEWDROP!!

There’s a lot for this man. So, Dewdrop used to be a water ghoul, however he’s not a multighoul like Swiss, Sunshine and Aurora because his element was transmuted during the binding ritual when he was passed from Terzo to Copia. So, my brain thought “what is water-like fire” and it landed on magma! So that’s why he looks volcanic. His gills closed over and became lava cracks, his fish scales became reptilian, and now he runs hot like a furnace. His ears are pointed like fire ghouls, but have points kinda like fish fins still. Dew also has fire manipulation and can essentially ignite fires (commits minor arson constantly) but that’s how he lights his cigarettes. He still has retained a great lung capacity and can hold his breath long enough to almost rival Rain’s infinite breath. The biggest trouble maker of the Ghouls and the worst influence on newer ghouls (i.e Phantom). He’s the shortest of the dudes, but makes up for it by setting you on fire if you make short jokes.

Also!!! I am a defender of the dark-hair Dewdrop design!! I know it’s very common for him to have blonde or white hair, but it was just not giving for this design. I tried, I promise! (I’m glad I’ve been seeing people love it though! My agenda is spreading!)

For fire ghoul visuals, I definitely focused on emulating glowing flame visuals, using red, orange, yellow, and white to give that effect with browns and blacks to make them look crispy. Scales and long pointed ears that go upward are also common for fire ghouls.

PHANTOM

Quintessence Ghouls are basically space and/or ghostly types of ghouls, as quintessence to me is everything between the elements and makes up everything (like stardust!!) Phantom, as a Quintessence ghoul can “see beyond the elements” with what I call aura reading at the moment, like seeing vibes and emotions. They can also float! Or slow their falls essentially. Not really fly like air ghouls. Phantom is actually, to me, one of the three most chaotic ghouls, alongside Dew and Swiss, and causes a lot of chaos at the Ministry. My favorite joke with my two wives who I discuss all this lore with often is that Phantom once pissed in the Unholy Water Bowl in the West Chapel right before a midnight mass, which caused a lot of problems for the Ghoul Den Overseer. Just to illustrate the shit Phantom pulls at the Ministry.

But specifically for Phantoms visuals, he reminds me of the moon, the tone of gray, his swirling vitiligo-esc patches. He has really dark eyes which is not very common for Quintessence ghouls.

AETHER

The second tallest and most beefiest of all the Ghouls. I mean, have you seen the arms on that man!!!! Like Phantom, Aether has the aura reading ability and is the expert at floating and slowing his falls (it’s how he achieves all the wild jumps on stage, like dude gets air time). His freckles actually form constellations, and on his shoulder you can see the Big Dipper cause he’s a big guy (yes that’s the joke, that’s why I gave him the Big Dipper). Aether acts as one of the minders of the Ghoul Den, kind of like the exasperated dad of the group. Tries his best to fix the chaos the other Ghouls cause to lessen the work of the Ghoul Den Overseer, put out Dew’s fires, etc. Also a fuzzy guy, which is uncommon for Quintessence ghouls, like he’s so soft somehow.

For Quintessence Ghoul designs, I really wanted to focus on the space aspect. All of them have space freckles, and their horns all swirl in some way (Phantom and Auroras swirling physically, and Aethers have swirling grooves/markings on them). Also, their ears are bovine-like in someways, cause I’ve always categorized Aether as like a space cow in my head. Their color palettes usually veer towards magenta, purple, and indigo (cause those are my favorite colors and Quintessence ghouls are my favorite).

RAIN

As a water ghoul, Rain has gills, fins on various parts of his body, and webbed fingers and toes (it’s a bit freaky). Also, serrated teeth like a piranha. If you’ve ever touched a fish, that wet feeling of their scales is how it feels to touch him. He can breathe underwater with his gills and will often be found in the lakes on the Ministry’s grounds when he needs to chill. His tail is a bit thick than other ghouls, as well as finned to help with swimming. Also water manipulation abilities! (It’s giving Cleo from H2O). He’s also bioluminescent! His scales and the lighter markings on him all glow

He does participate in problem causing sometimes, but is also exasperated mom of the group (cue his disappointed mom pose of hands on hips). Aether and Rain are the duo that hold Dew up by his arms while he’s trying to sprint towards trouble. Rain often has his hair pulled back in pony tails, or braided as he has a lot of hair, and it’s gets in the way while he’s swimming.

Water ghouls in general have everything above that I’ve already mentioned for Rain, all the fish like aspects. They tend to be blue toned and have a variety of scale coloration, often green, blue and purple in tones (duochrome, iridescent, pearlescent, etc).

MOUNTAIN

Biggest of the Ghouls and third beefiest! He’s also fuzzy! Mountain has a connection with the earth (duh, all earth ghouls do), which allows them to feel the “heartbeat of the earth”, gives them that killer rhythm on the drums. He’s big into growing plants and taking care of the Ministry’s gardens, which he excels in as Earth ghouls also can affect plant growth as well as other earth things like soil. The flowers behind his ear in the art are actually Belladonna, also known as Deadly Nightshade!

Mountain also has two ways to shift himself, one being normal legs and his most natural ghoul state is hoofed/goat legs, which is why he doesn’t like wearing shoes (it’s a weird feeling). His horns are gigantic as Earth ghoul horns tend to be, and have a cracked earth/clay patterning (his very first design iteration had cracked clay skin, but I did not like how it looked). His coloration and markings are very deer like, along with his ears. Mountain is very quiet compared to the rest of the Ghouls, he gives cryptid energy while at the Ministry.

Earth ghouls in general tend to lean towards more green and brown tones, with the previously mentioned giant horns. They can also have a variety of mammal like variations to them, but the most common is forest animals like deer, beer, wolves, coyotes, etc. They tend to be the fluffiest of the ghouls, and also the biggest. It’s just natural for them to be tall.

SWISS

Being a multighoul of all elements, he basically is a shadow ghoul (mix all paint colors and you get dark brown/black was my idea). He’s the third tallest and the second beefiest ghoul. Swiss has shadow manipulation abilities and can kinda merge into the shadows, which he uses to sneak around, cause problems and prank people. Also as a multighoul of all elements, he can kind of emulate abilities of other elements, like him being able to hold his breathe underwater longer than natural, his singing voice is siren-like similar to air ghouls, etc. He’s also fuzzy!!

Also, Swiss is the biggest accessorizer and has the most piercings of all the ghouls. He likes how it gives him some pizzazz. Also has gifted every ghoul at least one set of jewelry they are ornamented with (thought it was funny to get Dew the upside cross earrings).

And Satanas, the shit this man gets up to. There is a reason he’s on his stage of shame most of the time. Swiss enables all of Dew’s chaos with a giant smile on his face. It’s like winding up a toy and letting it spin.

Little side note about Multighouls, there are only two all element Multighouls in the Ministry, one being Swiss, the other actually being Phil! The Special Ghoul! He was once seen playing several instruments, signifying his elemental range, but tends to keep to himself compared to Swiss.

AURORA

The newest multighoul, and second multighoulette! Aurora is dual elemental, Air and Quintessence which together makes her embody an Aurora Borealis (her name sake). With her two elements, she gets her skin coloration and patterning, eyes, and swirling horn from her Quintessence aspect. Her space freckles are a bit more on the bluer side due to the air aspect however, as well as her second set of horns as air ghouls often have two sets of horns or two pronged horns. Her ears are bovine and bat-like. She has smaller wings compared to a full air ghoul, but her floating ability also helps. It’s a very interesting combo to watch. Also, her hair is just naturally like that, no hair dye involved. Don’t ask her how it changes color as it grows, she doesn’t know.

Aurora is probably the most energetic of the Ghoulettes, and is besties with Swiss. Is constantly helping him get into shit. In general is an accomplice to Swiss and the Ghoulettes. She loves being involved in the shit they all pull. And despite her stature, as the shortest of all the Ghouls, she will body a bitch (the shorter you are the closer to hell you get)!

CUMULUS

The biggest, fluffiest hair. It’s so long and so much and it’s her pride and joy! It’s how she got the name Cumulus because of how much it reminded Copia of cumulus clouds. As an Air ghoul, Cumulus has large bat-like wings that allow her to fly. They can be folded and retracted if need be as they can get in the way. In the Ghoul Den, the Air Ghouls have a loft only accessible to those with wings, or if you tempt fate and get someone to throw you. Cumulus’s air ghoul horns formed in the shape of crescents, so she doesn’t have two sets, instead is categorized as two pronged.

As previously mentioned, Air ghouls have siren-like voices (referencing Greek myth sirens being bird women) and Cumulus is the epitome of this ability. Can get people to do her bidding just by whispering sweet words into their ears.

Cumulus and Cirrus are a duo, as they were summoned together and bonded over being Air Ghoulettes, if you see one of them, the other is not far away or far behind.

CIRRUS

The tallest of the Ghoulettes and somehow the chillest comparative to the others. She’s still a ghoul though, so the chaos scale is broken anyway. As previously mentioned, she is Cumulus’s other half and visually is opposite of her on many ways. Darker, straight hair which is uncommon for Air ghouls, along with darker eyes. She also has the biggest wing span of all the Air Ghouls, and is the fastest with Sunshine a close second. Her vocals are second to Cumulus’s however. Not nearly at the level of controlling, but she can still bring anyone to their knees if need be.

Truly, Cumulus and Cirrus are a power couple amongst the Ghouls because their siren abilities affect Ghouls as well, just to a lesser degree, so if need be (with a good enough bribe) they can put a pause on the chaos if it gets too out of hand. The bribe has to be really good like, they like watching shit get crazy.

SUNSHINE

Finally, Sunshine. The first multighoulette summoned, and her dual elements are Air and Fire. Her fire like appearance veered away from volcanic like Dew to being like Sun Spots (areas on the sun that are darker than the rest of it) and that’s why her scales are rounded compared to Dew’s. Her wings are also smaller like Aurora’s, still bat-like but also gives dragon because of the reptilian aspect of Fire ghouls. She does have two sets of horns which she likes to ornament like Swiss.

Sunshine and Aurora bond over being air based multighoulettes and also have joined the multighoul secret club with Swiss and Phil. What do they do there? Well, it’s a secret of course. It wouldn’t be a secret club otherwise!

Also, there have been several cases of arson that have been committed that were blamed on Dewdrop, but were actually done by Sunshine, but she’s a great liar and loves getting Dew in trouble. She like orchestrates that shit.

Now that I’ve touched upon all of the air ghouls, basically, air ghouls tend to be either teal or yellow in tone, usually with cloud like markings (however Aurora and Sunshine’s dual elements change that). Their ears tend to be bat shaped, along with them sporting the large bat wings that give them the ability to fly. There have been cases, however, that air ghouls have feathered wings, the only known case being the first summoned keyboardist, aptly named Air. No one knows why he’s the only one, he just claims it’s cause he’s cool like that. Also mentioned the siren like voices, it’s not a universal Air ghoul ability, some more attuned with it than others, but it’s quite common seeing as all four Ghoulettes along with Swiss possess the ability to some degree (Air does not because he’s not cool like that).

GHOULS IN GENERAL

Kind of wanted to go into some general stuff for the ghouls within the Ministry and the Summoning process.

When a Ghoul is summoned by a Papa (the only person really sanctioned to summon ghouls with some exceptions of course), they are bound to that Papa, with some sort of mark to signify this binding. For the Papas, they each use their individual grucifixes as this marking (Copia’s ghouls were for a while marked with the basic Grucifix because he was initially a Cardinal. Technically, during that Era, the Ghouls should have been bound to Nihil, however Sister Imperator pulled the exception card for her little Cardi. Once Copia became Papa, the binding ritual was redone to remark them with his new grucifix). All of the ghouls do have grucifixes essentially tattooed onto their body in different locations, but there’s a lot of development for that and some still undecided so that can’t wait until I’ve drawn full bodies for all the ghouls.

Also, mentioned a few times in this was the Ghoul Den Overseer, who is actually a Sibling of Sin character of mine (because I over indulge myself and this is my lore interpretation anyway, I do what I want). Their “confirmation” name (christened? Sataned?) is Rigoria/Rigorian, last name Mortuous. Yes, it’s a play on Rigor Mortis but my name is literally Bones. I will be drawing them as well at some point so I can show you guys my interpretation of the Siblings of Sins in different Papal Eras.

[findafight]

On the one-sided harringrove post- I feel it becomes infinitely funnier with bi steve. He likes men, just not Billy. Never Billy.

Oh yeah. When Billy fiiiirst comes to school with his music blaring Steve is head over heels for Nancy, so he might register that the guy with the Camaro and loud music has a good ass, but then billy opens his mouth and Steve is like "oh, no ass can make up for that personality." And continues with his life.

Just. Okay I like to project just a liiiiittle on Steve with him just. Not realizing his attraction to men isn't a straight thing. Like. Of course all straight people feel that way, you just kinda ignore it or don't do anything about it. So Steve is half way between being comfortable in his sexuality and being closeted to himself because buddy used Hawkeye Pierce as the blueprint of straightness.

So Billy is out here, wallowing in self hatred and internalized homophobia, hating Steve and wanting Steve and hating that he wants Steve and wishing Steve would pay attention to him enough for a hate fuck he can cry about later, and it's all very angsty. All the while Steve is just actually completely fine with thinking a dude is hot he's just got standards that include "not racist" "doesn't try to beat up kids" "hasn't made me blackout from head trauma"

Wait. Oh no. I feel an au coming on. Shit. Au where post S2 Robin hears piano coming from the band room after hours and is her curious self going "I must see who is this mysterious genius" and it's Steve. They get to talking and hanging out and all of a sudden Robin thinks they are actually good friends. Best friends. Somehow.

Cue them going to a band party together. Someone spikes their drinks with waayyyy more than they were expecting so they are blasted. Robin has to go pee but does not want to go alone so she drags Steve into the bathroom with her and makes him face away. He's like haha Woah you really had to pee. And she goes shut upppp and washes her hands but sits across from him. Steve smiles at her and gives her his speech about how amazing she is and how glad he is to be her friend (it is like March '85 so he is still not ready to get back out into dating yet). Robin tells him about Tammy. They sing. Someone slams the door open and kicks them out of the bathroom because there's a fuckin line.

They lay on the grass outside and look at the sky. Steve like. Caaaaasually mentions once having thought he was gonna marry Tommy when he was six and then realizing you just didn't do anything about those feelings and Robin's gotta shoot up going WHAT!! WHAAAT? Because it sounded like Steve coming out to her? Right after?? She came out to him??

And Steve is like yeah. Like you don't really have to? Easier to ignore it and flirt with girls who I like or think are hot. And poor Robin's brain is melting she's like please Steve I'm really drunk are you telling me you sometimes want to kiss boys? And he's like yes, obviously, everyone does. Just like everyone also wants to sometimes kiss girls. Except lesbians I guess who only want to kiss girls? And gay guys only want to kiss guy? Yeah that makes sense and straight people don't care but go for the opposite ya know?

Robin is like NO!! And calms down some and says "okay I'm telling you this because you are my friend and you just told me almost the same thing. Steve. I like girls and only like girls. That not a straight thing"

"yeah. You've said."

"but I am ninety nine percent positive that just because you like girls doesn't mean you're straight because you also like boys."

"what"

"yeah dude, I do not think this is a heterosexual experience you're describing. I'm not an expert but. Yeah.

"oh. Huh."

"yep."

"I definitely thought it was."

"your brain is so weird I'm still kind of obsessed with you."

"haha. Honestly I'm kind of obsessed with you. This is wild."

"well. At least I know you're stuck with me."

"ohhh nooooo whatever will I do with my best friend always around..."

ANYWAYS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS is not in fact the stobin. It's actually that

Sometime probably in may, when Steve is ready to be on the dating scene again, he gets with Eddie. Robin is happy for him but also so mad because he went from "probably shouldn't act gay even tho everyone feels a little gay sometimes" to "hey Robin what would you say if I said I got a boyfriend?" In less than two months. How does he have straight AND gay game. That's not fair.

Steddie getting together is a non event. Eddie is still like ewww sports and yet somehow he made out with Steve Harrington and the next day Steve asked if he wanted to get milkshakes and throw rocks into the quarry to see the splashes. Eddie must restrain himself from thinking it's a date because he knows it's not but it'd also be the perfect date (Eddie is a simple man)

At the end of the night steve kissed his cheek and says "I had a really great time..."

Eddie just blurted "hey do you want to be my boyfriend?"

To which Steve perks up like "yes! I'd like that!"

And Eddie didn't actually think he'd get that far so he was like "neat!! See you tomorrow!" before slamming the door in Steve's face.

So they're dating and Eddie disparages sports but Steve is like haha aw you don't like watching me play? Which is sooo mean to Eddie because obviously?? He likes?? Watching his boyfriend??? Run around in tiny shorts and sometimes shirtless?? He has to reevaluate some things he supposes.

All while this is happening Billy is still on his Greatest Homoerotic Rivals shtick with Steve. Eddie notices and is like to dude...what is with Billy? And Steve just sighs. Says Billy is weird and obsessed with him and glares all the time. It's a whole thing. Billy is pissed because what is Steve, his epic rival, doing hanging around some random band geek, his sister's bitchass friends, and maybe the local dealer.

Alright. Grad happens. Yay Steve! Poor Eddie. They go to some party , hang out with people, sell some drugs, etc. Billy is unfortunately also at this party, and is like. Lazer eyes boring into Steve's back. Very annoying. At some point, he sees Steve slip away and is like this is my chance so he follows him.

Howmever he comes across Steve, his epic and totally heterosexual rival, making out with Eddie the freak Munson.

And listen this is a scary thing to be caught inna town like Hawkins, but that's not the point of this post.

So Billy goes "what the hell?"

They turn around. Billy is still spluttering.

"what are you-why would you-- with him?!" He says.

Steve raises his eyebrows, alllll cocky confidence. He smirks a bit. Drawls. "Well, yeah. I like cock, billy. Just not yours."

Because the point of this post is that Steve is a bitch.

Thank you.

[nathaslosthershit]

A lovesick girl calling her tired brother

Mat Barzal x Hughes!sister AU

Summary: After such a wonderful night with Mat, Birdie needs someone to talk to someone, and seeing as most of her friends are probably asleep…

Link to rest of AU

She let out a giggle, like an actual giggle. Alone, in her very dark apartment. She felt so happy that she was giggling. God, this was a feeling she could get used to. 

Birdie needed to talk to someone or else she was not going to get any sleep. But looking at the time, 2:53 am, she knew she wasn’t getting through to anyone. At least not without causing a panic. But as she sat, still in the dark, and watched it turn 3 am, she decided to call the one person that may be annoyed she is calling, but will always pick up. 

And after two rings, he answered. 

“It is midnight here. That's like what, 3 for you? Why are you up and calling me?” Her younger brother, Quinn, asked.

“Please I just had the most amazing night and everyone is asleep. But if you are so annoyed I am sure Trevor would love to talk with-”

“No. I’m sorry, please do not call that idiot. I seriously don’t know why you like him so much.”

“You know why I love him and that is off topic. Can I please just explain what I have been doing for the past few hours?”

“Go ahead.”

From deciding to go up and talk to Mat, to him kissing her cheek before she walked back to her apartment, Birdie left out very few details of her encounter with him. Well, except for one very important detail. 

“So who is this guy?” Quinn asks, smiling. It is nice to hear his older sister so happy. And despite what he is letting on, he is thrilled she decided to call him instead of her friends or their younger brothers… or, god forbid, Trevor Zegras. 

But just as she goes to quickly explain that hockey players are still not her type, and yes she knows she has dated a few too many for that to be true, and yes this man is in fact a hockey player, she decided against it. Maybe a little mystery wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Nope, I am keeping this one to myself for now. If it goes anywhere then maybe you will get to know.” “Come on, dude. You just spent the past 30 minutes talking about how you met ‘the most beautiful man in the world who is definitely your soulmate” and now you are saying it might not go anywhere? Give me a break.”

“I am saying I don’t want to get my hopes up. I am seeing you in a few months. Maybe I'll let you know then if you aren’t annoying about it.”

“Bullshit but alright.”

“I should go its almost 4. Thanks for talking, Quinn.”

“You are welcome. I’m glad you are so happy about this guy. Love and miss you.”

“Love and miss you too.”

“And please never call Trevor over m-” She hung up before he could berate her very dear and close friend. 

She wasn’t going to get any sleep. Not when she had so much more of the dreamlike night to go over in her head again, and again. Birdie hoped that Mat was awake doing the same.

And he was. 

Taglist: @tpwkstiles

[11queensupreme11]

If Percy had kids with the yans... what would their names be and who would do the naming 👀

do you guys remember someone asking me if percy would name her kids after dead demigods like luke, silena, zoe, bianca, etc? and i was like "nope, and she DEFINITELY wouldn't name her kids after luke too, luke was a dickhead to her"

I CHANGED MY MIND! book!luke was a meanie, but show!luke??? oh he's SO different and i love it. the luke of arsenic blues will be the luke of the tv show, so because of this, percy might actually name her future kid after luke 😂😂😂

but anyway, BACK TO YOUR QUESTION. i have like.... 1% planned for future kids with the yans so i don't really have any names yet lmao

but percy definitely should NOT do the naming, i can tell you that 😭😭 she will be very VERY bad at naming

i bring to you... a list of cursed names percy would actually name her kids if no one's around to stop her:

dory

yes, dory from finding nemo 😭

nemo

yup you heard me

ariel

it doesn't seem bad, but just wait till the yan dad finds out that ariel's the name of a mermaid who FELL IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN, is also fascinated by humanity, and even GAVE UP HER TAIL TO BECOME HUMAN AND LIVE WITH SAID HUMAN SHE FELL FOR 💀💀💀💀

ursula

yes another disney character

sebastian

more little mermaid characters! 😃

eric

the HUMAN prince from the little mermaid 💀

flounder

percy: "it's a cute name okay! 🙄"

sandy

sandy cheeks from spongebob 😭 just be glad she didn't choose squidward or spongebob

merliah

she's the mermaid barbie from "barbie in a mermaid tail"

bruce

the shark from finding nemo that said "fish are friends, not food!". those are words percy continues to live by to this day 😌

ponyo

another sea girl who fell in love with a human, the yans are throwing up rn 💀💀💀💀

LUKE 💀 (show!luke not book!luke)

at first they'd be a lil put off cuz the name's so... plain and boring and human, and then imagine them going "hold up, you wanna name our child after the dude who tried to KILL YOU????????"

and then.... the worst name of all:

anthonius (and no i am not kidding 😭)

have you seen all those tiktoks talking about how their mom or dad named them after their ex or some person they were in love with that isn't their spouse??? yeah, that's percy 💀

percy: "i just miss him im sorryyyyy 😭😭😭😭"

so yeah.

percy absolutely should NOT be in charge of naming her kids 💀

[thechillsquid]

Blind Eyes Au- Demon Stuff

Okay, so like, I am hyped cause folk wanna hear more of this shit so here we go!

So in a sense the summer precedes in an adjacent manner to canon, but ya know, Fidds and Bill hang out around the shack most the time as well otherwise they’re at the bunker which Fidds has been using as a sorta base of operations so him and Stan don’t gotta drag some shit in and outta the shack that would possibly attract unwanted attention

Fidds adjusts easily to the kids being around and certainly knows how to handle them better than Stan does, and the kids like him well enough cause he’s kinda a lunatic but less in a blunt criminal manner (I mean sure the kids come around to Stan and become mini criminals by the end of the summer, but they did discuss whether or not to dip out the window and report Stan to the FBI when they first got there soooo)

And admittedly, while Fidds has a much closer relationship to Tate in this au, just cause he’s got his head on right and kinda realizes yeeeesssh I did kinda sorta make a robot to go on a rampage after the divorce and that’s probably not healthy at all—

Certainly Fidds and his ex-wife did some talking behind the scenes, and while it’s unlikely he’d gain custody officially, cause you know, giant death robots, Tate probably started visiting in his later teen years and eventually settled down in Gravity Falls later on after moving about for a bit

Which speaking of Tate, techncially speaking Bill is his kinda sorta step-father? They don’t talk like at all but they got a mutual respect thing going on and probably just like sit and fish sometimes, which leads to Bill rambling about random bullshit while Tates just nodding along, and that’s kinda that

So you know what, yeah if Bill’s not around the shack, not with Fidds or Stan, he’s probably at the lake just hanging out with his ‘stepson’ which is oddly kinda weirdly wholesome now that I think about it?

Like Bill really changes in the 30 year timespan working on the portal and I’m not sure whether or not to just jump about that timeline to showcase how exactly that builds or whether to make Blind Eyes a multi-chapter, multi-work based thing

Meh, either way Bill certainly has chilled out in the sense of malicious chaos, though the guys still a complete and utter freak; dude really got treated like just another person and it made him realize how much he actually kinda liked that rather than straight up worship/fear and he kinda actually started hanging out with his henchmanics when not on earth (aka when things get a bit much and he’s gotta unwind or when he gets really fucking bored) and actually becomes friends with the group

Its kinda weird the snowball effect of that, like all these weirdos in the nightmare realm are used to instability and running amok and then their boss comes back and instead of the usual unhinged rants and low key threats of killing any of them if they step out of line, he very slowly but surely just starts… actually hanging out and talking with them? And its kinda weird? But they’ve all just been burning themselves out and it’s like, huh, this isn’t… that bad? Like yes, they’re still a bunch of intergalatical criminals but how long can you stand always having to go go go?

Like just that sounds tiring, and well, Bill was the first one to realize how fucking tired he was of it, like it takes a couple fucking decades for him to even say nice things to Stan or Fidds openly, but he gets there and it’s weird but it’s not too shabby

So like when the kids show up for that summer? Bill has no clue what to do with them, he’s glad they’re aren’t like babies and can actually move around and think, but he also doesn’t know how to act around them

He’s gotten used to the shack and the shack has used to him and now when he walks in there’s two tiny Pines there and the one kid reminds him of Ford and sure he’s figured awhile back that he really hurt that guy but it’s not like he can find the guy cause he’s been just running about the multiverse and—

Then he just has to walk away and take a breather. He hates emotions, has gotten used to expressing them, but now the kids remind him how much is actually at stake now. Goes became somewhat of a background thought and Bill realizes fiercely that he’s done what he always does when things go wrong, pushes it to the back of his mind and try to forget

This playing house with Fidds and Stan has been occupying his thoughts and keeping his mind away from Ford and all That. So yeah, he avoids the kids for a bit when they first arrive until Stan corners the weirdo and tell him to fucking buck up or stay in the bunker cause so help him he wants these kids to feel welcome and Bill slinking around like a nervous Hide-Behind isn’t helping

As time goes on he starts helping the kids out with their mysteries (aka I’m something with bigger teeth than the fuckers out here and if something tries anything it’ll be the last thing they do) and eventually he gets comfortable hanging around the shack

Progress keeps on with the portal and sure he suspects the kids might know he’s not exactly human but that’s fine because for now they seem to trust that he won’t hurt anyone (that he cares about at least; Gideon finds himself getting chased by a terrifyingly large wolf with glowing yellow eyes when starts trying to flirt with Mabel until Stan gets onto Bill about taking away his fun. If anyone’s going to torment the little weirdo it’ll be Stan)

And then Gideon summons Bill, the kids start having suspicions, and the triangle fuck avoids them again for the next few weeks until the kids track him down and demand answers

He gives the most watered down, vague answers, but for once it’s not all lies so that’s got to count for something

The portal opening throws a whole new shift to things and that in itself forces the bastard to think and think hard about what he really wants now after the one goal he’s been working towards for so long has been completed

He probably tries to drink his problems away and ends up crawling through one of the shack windows to raid the kitchen, him and Ford probably end up staring at each other and Bill almost gets shot trying to drunk ramble apologies

Its a total trainwreck

[cheshiresense]

Hi Cheshire! Thank you so much for the Yuzu snippet! It was SO great. I LOVE how fucked up the Kurosaki family is (wonder what Isshin thinks of this? We saw a glimpse but like... Is he an outsider and tolerated because he's the Only Adult Around?). I! LOVE! Poison!Yuzu! It's so great, makes so much sense. Also the easy way everybody was like "Ah, yes, OF COURSE the bowls are poisoned." So Neat. So Fucked Up. Being real I came for the ShinIchi but the UraShinIchi is The Best Trio and I am SO here for it. The fact Ichigo has NO idea he likes Urahara? Amazing. The fact that Shinji is SO LONG the favorite? ALSO amazing. Usuallly with the trio it's almost always the other way around or UraShin incorporating Ichigo later, so It'd be nice to see how this mechanic develops.

I also love "Mizuiro-niisan." Cute and terrifying. I wanna know what you have prepared regarding Mizuiro, he was always one of the most fascinating characters in Bleach taht wasn't 'part of the plot' so to speak (c'mon, dude knows how to make a fucking Pipe Bomb and has a harem of older women. There's A Story. (Also does he still have the 'harem' here or...?))

Anyway thank you for the chapter

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Lol Isshin is very much the outsider to his own family after Ichigo neutralized him, they're basically like two strangers who happen to live in the same house, and even then, Ichigo went and got his own apartment once he had the contacts for it. I wouldn't say he set out to alienate his sisters from Isshin, so long as Isshin wasn't hitting them too, he doesn't really care what their relationship is like, but considering Ichigo's also been pretty much raising them single-handedly for the past 6+ years, they're bound to learn from him when it comes to Isshin too. Plus they do remember the way Isshin used to smack Ichigo around before Ichigo put a stop to it. So anyway, the twins still talk to Isshin and let him be his loud dramatic self around them but there isn't really any love coming from their end when it comes down to it, and they live with their brother at the apartment half the time anyway. As for Ichigo, he actually doesn't hate Isshin or anything either after the man left him to his own devices and doesn't bother him anymore. And yeah, the fact that he's the nominal adult of the house is still useful since Ichigo's still underage. It's just that he also very much wouldn't care if Isshin kicked the bucket tomorrow.

The Urahara/Ichigo/Shinji is also a surprise to me lol. Tbh, I didn't really have a ship in mind when I first started this AU, but UraIchi is my otp so naturally if there is a ship, I'd go for that. But then I wrote Shinji, and suddenly ShinIchi became a lot more probable, and then I wrote the Yuzu POV and Urahara elbowed his way back into the race. So the most likely ship now would be UraIchiShin lol.

The UraIchi dynamic actually turned out pretty interesting in this 'verse cuz this Ichigo is the type to get rid of anything that irritates him. If it's annoying and cuts into his time, he's not the sort to put up with it. And yeah, Kisuke's strong enough with enough connections that if Ichigo wanted to off him or even just threaten him like he did Isshin, it would be really difficult at the moment, but at the very least, he'd still work towards it, and he wouldn't spend any time with the guy. But here he is inviting him over for dinner and letting him properly meet the twins and just generally tolerating his presence, something he's never done with anyone else before, and it's a toss-up whether he's even really aware of the exception he's making. And on Kisuke's part, he doesn't know Ichigo well enough yet to realize how much leeway Ichigo's given him.

This Ichigo is just Grudgingly Fascinatedᵀᴹ by this cryptic bastard making his life a lot more complicated than he'd like, but is also strong and smart and offered his life up on a platter the moment Ichigo asked for it like it's tradeable currency so whatever he wants Ichigo to do in exchange has to be something even Urahara can't do himself, and Ichigo has just enough curiosity for that to add to the fascination pile just as much as it adds to the annoying asshole pile. Meanwhile, Shinji's just chilling with his poison rice, and Sakanade thinks Ichigo is yum with an adorable kitten for a sister. TLDR they're a trainwreck in the making but a pretty entertaining one.

I'm not sure what I really want to do with Mizuiro here yet but I'm definitely giving him a powerup in the future, he's Ichigo's best friend here, as much as Ichigo or even Mizuiro can have friends, and Mizuiro is absolutely ride or die enough to invade Soul Society with him. Plus I'd like to see what I can do with a character who's not exactly a frontline fighter but not a healer either like Ichigo's canon friends.

[itsquakey]

Q&A Time!

I haven't done a Q&A in a while so let's bang out some asks from the askbox and answer them.

Without really saying much, things have kinda gotten better, but I am def in a hole right now from multiple pretty saddening things happening to me all within a month. I'm having a lot of issues drawing but I don't think it's burnout-more likely I'm just a sad lump. I'm sure I'll improve though once the year finishes us.

Kind of...I plan to make either a epilogue for Revenge of Pike Knight or an entirely different comic about his process of letting go but also forgiving himself for her actions. He never goes back to being sweet bandana waddle dee but she does manage to loosen up as time goes on.

Mago gets stripped of any and all power that the average doomer doesn't have. So yea. He's a little guy you could punt like a football.

It's honestly really hard to say what my favorite food is, as I am someone who struggles with food (I blame it on the fact I almost died of starvation as a toddler and it ruined my entire digestive system but who knows it could be crappy genetics too). However here are some foods I enjoy that people may like! (Recipe Links are in the names)

Banoffee Pie: I usually like it without the bananas though, they are too soft texture-wise for me so it's really more Toffee Pie. Just remember if you are making the toffee from scratch that it is basically like making a bomb and you HAVE to make sure timing is correct otherwise pressure will build and either you will die or your kitchen will get a nice brown coat of sugar-paint (Personal experience here).

Chocolate Souffle: I always have this for my birthday so it's a fond treat. It IS a souffle though, so it's very hard to make if you do not have the experience.

Quiche: I love quiche, it's something that is eggy but also a pie and I can eat it any time of the day. I usually like just cheese in it but meats and some small greens are also good.

And finally- Zucchini Brownies (Or just walnut brownies): Which I actually haven't had in a while but man am I craving them. They sound weird but you can't taste the zucchini and it brings a nice dampness to the brownie.

When Powehi was little his sisters loved to tease him even though he would give little to no reaction. They seemed to have a decent relationship as children but I would not be surprised if Powehi doesn't really like his sisters a whole lot when he's an adult. They're still as annoying as before but now they act more like their father (a pet peeve of his). However they are still his sisters at the end of the day, so he puts up with them.

Since I don't know if I have the post up anymore- ANY FANART OR INTERPRETATIONS/INSPIRATION OF MY WORK IS OKAY. If it is fanart or is heavily based off my work all I need is name credit or an @/. If you @/ me, there's a very high likelihood I will see it and reblog it!

As someone who worked with various animals including tarantulas for a while- I love them. I love their fuzz and their little claws and paw pads and the fact they're chill (but at the same time very anxious) little dudes. I think they get a bad rap but they're nice.

If I remember correctly, the death of Meta Knight comic was originally artist trolling. Yes, I made the comic to purposefully get a reaction from you all and laugh evilly while you cried over his death. However that comic is the backbone of Nextgen and I'm glad I made it.

Yes, I will get to that art eventually. I'm just taking my time for reasons. I will/am also uploading art that is old but was never released on my account. Eventually once all the old art is posted new art will start up again.

Meta works his way up the ladder to become a Reaper. Not really spoilers but his design will be brought back soon. But yes, he can still see his friends with the help of Morpho. Also Galaxia shattered in the death comic, so she's long gone as well but returns to Meta in the afterlife at some point.

Dedede ain't dead yet! He's still kicking. Meta would have to meet him in the mortal realm as a little buggy.

Yes, however I highly doubt I will ever cover them in Nextgen, so it's up to fan interpretation at the end of the day.

Yes he does, he takes the form of a beetle much like Morpho takes the form of a butterfly in the mortal realm and gets to visit his friends when he can.

Apologies, but only my girlfriend can hug me : )

I imagine if the situation calls for it he does use his tongue. However he mainly chooses the sword and his fabric arms.

In Nextgen I like to imagine Kirby's copy abilities change as they grow up instead of someone upgrading them for him, hence why they look different when he uses copy abilities.

Powehi has always had some of Marx's powers and grew up with them normally. However as he gets older he begins to really not like them because it makes him different in a way others may be intimidated by.

In Nextgen Chilly and Magolor never got nor will get married. They're off again on again exes because it is way funnier that way and honestly aligns with the one manga more.

Magolor and Chilly met during the events of Star Allies, and their relationship/personalities are kinda based off that manga in a minor way.

Arthur showed up out of nowhere on Castle Dedede's entrance and ever since then Kirby has taken care of him.

In a surprising turn of events, no. The waddle dee from Kirby 64 in Nextgen is actually Bandana's/Pike's older brother who is the sole reason Bandana/Pike went down the path she did. The stories that were told about the adventure and the heroes his older brother worked with got her to be inspired enough to actually work alongside Dedede and later Kirby and the others.

Because that belt buckle is the last remaining piece of who he used to be. His robes are gone along with everything else but that buckle. He is now nude.

All Noddies are biologically and magically tied to the Dream Fountain which is the thing that gives them their dreams and tiredness. The only way Castella can have nightmares is if there's some kind of tampering with the Dream Fountain that effects it negatively.

I don't think canon Bandana would enjoy the fact I assassinated his character for some plot lmao. But for the sake of the funny just imagine them interacting like that one sonic and shadow clip from Sonic Adventure 2.

The cycle of matter only affects Dark and Light matter/ anything in between that. Matter like that usually will never see a reaper in their life because their souls almost never make it to the afterlife and instead are in a constant cycle of reincarnation, hence the name. Meta Knight was merely lucky enough to have Morpho break the rules for him just like how Necrodeus broke the rules for him when he was Gala and took his soul to the afterlife. Normally living things are taken by reapers to the afterlife when they die though. While non-matter characters like Dedede, Magolor, Marx, Pike, etc will be able to have a one way ticket to the afterlife, I'm keeping it vague for Kirby as not to spoil future ideas.

That's all for now! I'll be answering more asks in the future don't worry.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

Dokja:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

3. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

4.He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers:

turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

[issacballsac]

Wishes to Unknown

Unknown/Saeran Choi

Male Reader

Joining the RFA had been nothing short of a fever dream to you

To anyone with an ounce of sanity even

So the <<Hi!>> of the very person responsible for your forceful recruitment into this organisation wasn’t exactly welcomed

<<Long time no see. We chatted before, remember?>>

With reluctant annoyance you did the very thing that got you in trouble at the start, responding.

<<Yep, what exactly are you messaging me for now?>>

<<Thanks to your help back then, I could preform my task without trouble.>>

<<Glad I could help🫂; you wouldn’t happen to be telling me what said task is/was?>>

<<Anyways. I told you I’m studying abroad, remember? But if you don’t it can’t be helped.>>

<<Yes I understand but why should I care about any of this?>>

<<Well—um…I’ll be back in Korea today. Remember I told you I’ll make it up to you if you help me? :)>>

<<So…>>

<<I’m not sure if I’m liking where this is going..>>

<<Do you have time today? Why don’t you join me to see the sky tonight? I have what I like to call a haven of sorts where I come whenever I visit Korea.>>

<<I’d love to go there with you.>>

<<Honestly, today is my birthday and you’re the only one who could properly congratulate it for me.>>

<<I promise you won’t regret it.>>

<<You have such a way with words—I almost forgot what happened last time you invited me to a mysterious location.>>

<<Look—>>

<<If you come to me. I’ll make it a VERY pleasant day for you. I even made you a crown with red roses. :)>>

<<Still not convinced dude. Bc if I get added to another group chat after this I will delete this app.>>

<<Okay ok; I’ll bring ice cream, Yk with summer it’s getting hot. We can also watch popular films? I’ll get everything ready I promise.>>

<<Youll join me, won’t you? I’ll be waiting for you.>>

UNKNOWN has left the chatroom

Every instinct in your body spiritual and physical told you not to go to the location sent to your phone.

BUT

Curiosity couldn’t kill the cat twice, could it?

Simply walking out of the apartment with your current attire as the event wasn’t that special to you; you began your search of the park.

The park was sparsely populated from the locator position the greatly mysterious UNKNOWN had graciously granted you

None matched the original picture he sent all those weeks ago

“Brown hair, green eyes. Brown hair, green eyes. Brown hair and green eyes.” You repeated as if it were a mantra looking over the same groups of people.

“Looking for me, my prince?”

“Indeed I was my dearest catfish. That’s obviously not you in the pictures.”

Almost unbothered by the comment he maintained eye contact, “Yes, well my identity is somewhat of a secret. Please try to understand, I can’t simply go throwing my image everywhere.”

“Sure sure. Anyways, happy birthday…Unknown? Got a name I can call you?”

“I’m a bit reluctant to say—no, it should be fine. Call me..”

“Shall I call you my stalking prince?”

His eyebrows furrowed towards his eyes, “If you’ll let me finish.”

“Yeah yeah, go ahead.”

Firmly clearing his throat, “It’s Saeran. But don’t go yelling it everywhere and definitely not to the RFA.”

“I won’t, I promise. But I really like your name, it’s nice to actually learn something about you.”

“Well you already know a lot. I’m not the guy from the photo, I hacked your phone on certain occasions, I like ice cream, and now you even know my name.”

“Yes we could almost get married with how much I know about you.”

“Though you are beautiful if you don’t mind the compliment. You’re not such a weirdo either, even if you did trick me into joining a strange charity.”

“Yes you make me sound SO amazing and dreamy.”

Taking a bite from out of his ice cream cone, “Yes, because you are, and I am totally not speaking out of my ass when I say this.”

“Enough of the chatting, I was promise a nice a pleasant day, so, show the way.”

Snickering slightly, Saeran stopped himself from reaching for you hand and opted for a follow-the-leader route.

On a secluded hill, a blanket lay bare with a singular unbranded laptop at the centre. A brown woven basket sat not far from the main attraction.

“Birthday picnic?”

He sat down calmly on the blanket. Lightly yet rapidly clicking on the keys of the keyboard.

The soft white light beamed against his already pale face, “Any suggestions for a movie?”

“I thought we were starting gazing.”

He quirked a brow at your remark.

“The constellation I want to see isn’t out yet. In the meantime won’t you accompany me?”

A small rotation of movies was shown before you both ultimately decided to just wait.

“Sae look! Isn’t that the constellation you wanted to see?”

His eyes snapped up as the stars aligned perfectly. A small smile was rapidly tugging at his face. “Sae?”

“A—sorry, it was just shorter.”

“I don’t mind it.”

Readjusting yourself on the mat, you took another spoonful of the mass amount of mint ice cream your newly acquired partner brought.

“Hey, so do you like—wish on the constellations? Or is it just the individual stars?”

“I’d call you stupid, but, I don’t know myself.”

“Here. I’ll wish you another happy birthday for each one of the stars in the constellation.”

“That’s a lot of stars you know?”

“I have all night and tomorrow morning.”

An actual laugh escaped from him, a laugh that had been held in for years it seemed. A pure and genuine expression.

“You know…there are better ice cream flavours than mint.”

“Don’t ruin my birthday. Please.”

This was based off of his 2019 birthday event

@viernane

[abilouwrites]

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

Mat Barzal x fem!oc reader

Series Masterlist

Two

I dont like when guys ask me out, because the answer is always no. And the answer never changes; and I doubt it ever will. My coworkers are all married or in a relationship with someone even at the bookstores. Hell, the sixteen-year old has had a boyfriend longer than I've been working there.

For a time I believed it to be asexuality, but thats not what it was. I still think; dream and hope for someone to love me, but thats just what I don't want. I used to be able to see myself getting married to someone; when I was nine and didn't know how horrible my parents marriage was to each other.

When I was nineteen I thought something was wrong with me, I was stuck in the thought that I was unloveable. I want to date; dating would be fun. But dating leads to marriage and to me. Marriage means being trapped, and I don’t do being trapped.

The guy from last week comes in again, a little more flushed and with a friend this time. He’s nervously chewing his lip and looking over at his friend for reassurance, “no dude, chicks dig Romeo and Juliet, I’m sure that’ll get you a yes” I overhear a tall bald guy say as he assuringly pats or slaps the brunettes back.

His hands are shaking as he gently places the hardback copy of Romeo and Juliet, “just this” he quietly mumbles looking down at the cover, “have you read it?”

“Yeah, a few times but I’ve never been to fond of that kinda romance” I reply as what I assume his friend shakes his shoulder in a brocode way I have yet to understand.

“Really?” His voice pitches up, “w-what you uh— uh why?” He frantically questions his entire face pales

“Uh oh, I really hope you’re not setting a date on Romeo and Juliet for christs sake” I murmur, “not speaking for every girl but, it felt too quick. How can you know if you really love someone in just barely a week” I clarify, “I just” I shrug not finishing my thought, “do you still want to get it?”

“Uh.. maybe” he looks down and taps his thumbs against the counter, “what romance books do you recommend?”

I grin, wide and toothy because this is my favorite question and thing to ever talk about, “oh boy am I glad you asked. Liz, will you cover me?” I request and she nods.

I take his hand and lead him to the classics, Jane Austen, Emily Brönte, Charles Dickens. “A lot of these are like classic books but Jane Austen is really the one you want to woo a girl”

“I’m very positive no one says ‘woo’ anymore” his friend juts in and Mat as I remember faintly; gives him a dirty look.

“Whatever. Pride and prejudice is my all time favorite” I say; gently pulling my baby out of her shelf.

“Wow.. I think my sister’s made me see the movie” He faintly says; I can barely hear anything over the beat of my heart.

“Which version?” I ask nervously

“I think the 2005 version” and I almost sigh in relief, “is that good”

“Very. Very good”

He smiles at me and his friend nods as I lead them back to the register, “that’s everything right?” I ask scanning the books

“Yes, uh yeah” He smiles nervously and goes back to chewing his lip, “you know how the uh New Jersey Devils are playing against the Islanders tomorrow night?” He asks handing me his card

“Yeah… Why?”

“I uh, I’ve got by the ice tickets and I was gonna have one of my friends come with me but he— his wife just had their baby so you know.. and you like hockey and I like hockey so it might be— nice if you wanted to go with me?” He blabs out, nearly gasping for breath after finishing, then he continues, “you don’t have to come— obviously I know it’s last minute and you probably have plans with someone or uh yeah..”

“No.. I don’t have plans tomorrow night”

“Great— I mean not great that you don’t have plans but great that you can come with me” He nervously chides

I laugh and smile, “I would really, really love to go to the game with you” I confess.

“Yay, just uh do you get breaks?” He asks

“Yeah, I’m just about due for a break”

We stand outside together; his poor friend long forgotten, “what’s going on?” I ask sitting at one of the small tables and drinking some tea.

“Ok uh, I..” He flushed and puts his head in his hands, “I won’t be sitting with you.. I’ll be on the ice…”

“Oh. Wait what?” I ask, looking up at him as he tangles his hands into his hair, “what do you mean you won’t be sitting with me?”

“I’m not just a hockey fan. I play. Hockey I play on the Islanders.. those who have girlfriends or wives get to invite them to games and I know we’re not- I’m not implying that but uh you like hockey and I thought it might be nice” he chokes out

“Ok so— what?” I gasp out, “I didn’t think you were much a joker” I’m fighting back laughter

“I’m serious”

“Oh”

“Its totally fine if you don’t want to come anymore but uh. Yeah” he shrugs rubbing his eyes nervously and chewing his lip cracked.

“I mean.. I haven’t been to a game in a while… so.. yeah that would be nice” I shrug

He sighs a big sigh and nearly flips the table with his weight before righting it.

“Can I get your number then? So I can pick you up.. I’ll bring you a jersey” He requests sliding his phone out

“Yea” I pick his phone up and type my number in, setting my contact name and typing in a hello with his name.

“I will see you.. at 5 thirty ish?” He asks, “and don’t worry about eating before, actually maybe eat a bit but I want to take you out to dinner after”

I smile and brush my hair out of my face, “should I wear leggings? Jeans?”

“Uh.. long pants probably, jeans would look good”

“Thank you, I will see you tomorrow night”

“It’s a date”

And I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not.. because I’m too scared to fall in love. Or to even risk it.

[marumafan]

Hello, I am an old fan of KKM and I am really glad that I found your blog. Especially, since I have seen your conclusion about some additional information: You are right. Indeed. Yuuri is gay or bi...and he did go on dates with guys before or he would have had no reason to feel bad at a certain point in time, when the one whom he had defended resigned the team.

Yuuri has basically no interest in going out with girls, but pretends that he is solely interested in them.

What I also considered interesting is that he basically was thrown out of the team because of defending a love interest...He punched the coach, when I remember correctly...and he did get himself into the engagement with Wolf, because he did not dare to really punch him with a fist, because he felt at least attracted to him physically at that time.

So thank you for your your analyses up until now.

Hello there! Yes, but it's not like he goes around acknowledging it. I think that Yuuri is deep in the closet.

He's a character of his time. No way a teen would admit to being gay in the 2000s (they don't even do it in the 2020s here in Japan).

Just go to wikipedia and look at the summary table at the end of the article here to see how many rights LGBTQ+ individuals lack. Every red cross is an inequality. The dates Yuuri went on with those guys were very hush-hush, and I don't think he could quite admit to himself or others that he's gay or bi. For me, the clearest acknowledgement that he's 'not straight' is when his mom asks him if he's into 'people who wear uniforms' and he starts crying in Change /(Convert) the same story where he goes on a 'Christmas date' with the other guy.

After that story, there was no doubt in my mind that he already knew he was non-straight before meeting Wolf; but also that he was keeping it quiet.

I think his extreme closetness is difficult to understand by younger people and/or people who do not live in Japan. Anyone who lived in the 2000s America and is or knows LGBTQ+ people knows very well how closeted people were, especially after Matthew Sheppard. All of my closeted friends went deeper into the closet... and the ones out of it, quietly went back. It was a time of horror and I can only imagine it was worse in the past. That's simply the case that I recall as the horror of my time in the West.

I have many personal stories about the cruelty in treatment of LGBTQ+ people in the 2000s by Westerners AND Japanese, but I don't wanna get into it.

I'm just saying, I get Yuuri. Anyone living as 'non straight' during those years 'gets' Yuuri. And his wishful thinking about how 'getting a girlfriend will magically make him straight ', I know well and have seen myself.

This is a very realistic character of the 2000s.

It gets annoying at times, cuz he is a fictional character and why can't he just get it on in this fictional world with the cute guy that he's very much into?!

Stories are fantasies that we go on to escape the cruelty of reality, and when this guy 1) goes to a place with no sexual discrimination, which is what has kept him closeted 2) is surrounded by cute dudes and 3) the cutest dude is also into him , also he's like the king, you wonder... why can't he just accept the blessings the rest of us don't have?XD

But I think he struggles, like a lot of people, with his sexuality, and so he doesn't know really what to do.

Having said that, idk.... I feel like once they 'start sleeping in the same bed and have a child', there's a very clear innuendo that they're banging , but idk. The author keeps everything in a state of 'deniability' .

Which again... understandable.

You didn't read this from me, but def she's writing herself in Yuuri.

I think it's clear though, as the years go by, that she turns Yuuri and Wolf into a very solid couple with stories like Do you want an Exorcism, Crossheart, Misepan 2. Misepan 2 was released with the ending of the anime on DVD (2010s when she stopped writing), and Yuuri showing his love for Wolf in that story with the 'I would give you anything, Wolf' phrase, really sealed the deal for me.

After that we've gotten quite a few stories, and she even married them in It happens to everyone 2 and Shibuyas , two of the last stories that present them in the 'future'.

Like I said many times, they've been end-game for a while... it's just that no one noticed, cuz they're two guys.

[readyandnot]

hot boi summer ‘23 ready rambles :)

buckle in everyone~

ALRIGHT I HAVE A LOT SO WE’LL START FROM THE BEGINNING:

david: a very nice and simple introduction to hot boi summer 23! he makes working out sound hot- ANYWAY angel being a menace as always and david being so soft with them like :,) and angel going to find him i’m crying

the spiciness was good! i just imagine the guy on camera was like “yeah i’m gonna leave them be” lmao

overall a great audio and a nice intro to the lineup :)

vincent: a very good vincent audio in general and i loveee the story for this one! the fact that these two are so comfortable with just doing their own thing and just going to a 7/11 dressed up is amazing. i love their relationship so much. VINCENTS SLURPEEEE I LOVE HIM. the spiciness was so good. I JUST WISH WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF WHAT VINCENT WAS SAYING UGHHHH

overall i love this audio and it’s very cute with a hint of spice :)

avior: AVIORRRRR

this was the one i looked forward to the most (and anton) BECAUSE SPICY WITH AVIOR YES PLEASE. this one is definitely my favorite on so many levels. THE FACT HE MADE STARLIGHT AN OASIS WITH THE OTHER LEVELS AND THE GOLD??? this dude is such a romantic he’s giving gavin and vincent a run for their money. AND THE ENDING??? so good. (lowkey think avior’s a switch) the spiciness was so good, it was simple but that’s what i think the best part about it is, and it was very romantic with the skinny dipping like omg.

i’m so sad this one didn’t win, but the livestream gave me hope that it might be continued like p l e a s e .

overall, the best one imo and i hope it gets continued eventually :)

gavin: a very good hot boi summer addition especially for gavin! seeing the other bois pop in as well in the beginning was amazing :) AND THE REFERENCE TO THE APRON MADE ME FREAK OUT

freelancer and gavin are such menaces and i love them for it, so horny for each other and it’s great. (flashbacks to huxley’s grilling audio anyone?) and the thought of gavin being submissive o m g. i love that idea so much because we have literally never seen that side of him so i am curious about that (maybe in the future?) the spiciness was amazing and i’m very sure they had a great time back at fl’s place lol

overall a solid great audio and definitely in my top five for this lineup :)

lasko: lasko lasko lasko. this one was great!!! i love seeing their relationship continue to grow and seeing how much lasko has changed since we first saw him! especially in the aspect that he’s used to taking things further but the fact that this is different to him :,) do you hear me crying. i love how easy the listener seems to be with lasko and how much of a calming presence they are for him, i know this relationship is going to be a great one! i hope soon we get an audio of the listener meeting the damn gang and fl! (and hopefully a nickname i’m begging) the spiciness is simple and i’m glad we’re seeing this change of pace!

overall, a nice change of things and i like this audio a lot!

elliott: I LOVE THIS ONE A LOT (this is probably my second favorite) it’s so good!! and it’s nice/bittersweet to see elliott and sunshine happy (like please can they be together again i’m crying) THE DRAGON. don’t even get me started-

the role play i cant- now i know these two definitely play dnd. elliott breaking out of character was hilarious and sunshine actually having some powers was a great idea!! the ending- (i’m crying). this relationship is so good they need to be with each other and i miss them being happy :( the spiciness is great in this one and so so so romantic ughhh

overall, i love this audio and it’s a solid addition to the lineup (i also love the irony of the coolness)

asher: one of the more tame ones and that’s not a bad thing! it’s definitely one of the sweetest audios in the whole channel because omg. asher is so emotionally intelligent and i’m so proud of him for how much he’s grown since the inversion!!! he knows who he is and how life can change so he’s using it to his advantage and i love that for him and babe :) their dynamic is great as always and the spiciness was good! (hopefully they were fine in the car lmao)

the horn part was hilarious and so on point lol

overall, a nice audio! very sweet with a little spice :)

guy: very tame for a guy audio which surprised me! i feel like this one was more focused on guy struggling to make it up to honey which i love because guy is such a menace lol

honey is such a saint but i love seeing how soft they can be with guy while still being a little grumpy (it is cute in guys defense) and i love their relationship and how it’s come to be so far!

the ending was great which added to the spiciness and it was hilarious at the same time, only guy can do that lmao

overall, a very simple but good audio! :)

anton: this one. (do you hear me sobbing.) the story and the dynamic was just in point and the references to the work AND THE PLANT I AM C R Y I N G. as soon as he said gift i knew it would be the plant :,(

seeing how devoted the listener and anton are to each other is beautiful. and how sweet they are with each other even if they seem like complete opposites. AND ANTONS WORDS WERE BEAUTIFUL (even if he said he’s not a man of many words i don’t care) the spiciness was so good too and very natural! it was soooo nice to see that side of anton and i wouldn’t mind if this one was continued :)

overall a lovely audio and probably my third favorite of the lineup :)

damien and huxley: THIS ONE WAS AMAZING. the ba was phenomenal and i’m honestly not mad that they got it, they deserved it and lived up to my expectations!!! the beginning was awesome and i loveee their convos so much more than i should. (the fact that gavin and fl burned the food doesn’t surprise me lol) AND THE SWITCH WITH THEM I CANTTT

the spiciness was great, it felt so natural and they are so great together.

overall (because i’m not gonna spoil the ba) i love this audio. i love them. and it would be unfair for me to put them in the ranking because it’s so good.

sam: this was a great audio!! i love the idea of sam being in the club and just being so awkward lol so i’m glad it’s now canon. THE WHOLE GROUP AS WELL LIKE YES THANK YOU REDACTED. (and the fact that david’s on the dance floor i’m deceased)

their dynamic is so good as always. and the visuals you get from this are great! seeing how they are finally letting loose after dealing with quinn is a great thing and i’m so happy for them. (also the vibes with this one were so good i was dancing the entire time.) the spiciness was so good, just imagining darlin “dancing” with sam like sheeesh

overall a great addition to to the lineup and to sam in general :)

milo: LAST BUT NOT LEAST. this one was so sweet and so relatable. (like i relate to sweetheart so much it’s not even funny.) the fact that they are so comfortable with each other and how sweetheart is stressed over vacation being over is a mood and i love how milo comforts them over it. HE KNOWS EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING TO SAY/DO AND I LOVE HIM. the spiciness was great and i love seeing them together like that because they are always so needy for each other it’s crazy. (and not a bad thing either-)

overall a great audio and i love milo so much. :)

(i am not including nick you better believe that)

now for my ranking: (not counting huxley/damien)

avior

elliott

anton

sam

gavin

milo

vincent

asher

lasko

david

NOW- i’m gonna be a little controversial but i don’t think sam deserved the ba. for a couple reasons: one, he already had one last month. and it was a good one too! i understand that his hbs was good but there are other boys who deserved it. which goes into my second reason, other boys who either haven’t gotten one (anton/avior) or who haven’t had one for a long time (elliott/gavin) i feel deserved to get the ba. putting favoritism aside it makes sense! lastly, (after listening to sams ba) i feel sam’s ba was underwhelming to be honest. there were moments that were amazing but the rest just felt like a normal ba. i was hoping there would be more to it but unfortunately not (for me at least). AND i understand that avior won the poll for an update (i don’t think it should have won btw) but i don’t think that should matter if it was something in the past if that makes sense.

overall, this years was great and i’m very happy in general! new people and the theme was awesome as well with the rewind! (here’s hoping one more is continued at least)

i cant wait for next year’s :)

what’s next: hush happened…. that shit was crazy.

i think avior is next? i’m so excited to get an update eeeee

if you made it this far, thanks for reading this rant and i hope you have a great morning/day/night

HAPPY HOT BOI SUMMER YALL

[captain-mj]

Vampire Part 7

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Ghost and Soap just stared at Price as he started to ramble about his fiance. 

Dark hair. Pale skin. Beautiful and lovely accent. 

“That doesn’t sound like Graves.” Soap asked tentatively, looking confused. He was under the impression they were going swimmingly. 

“Unfortunately… Graves… turned me down.” Price looked close to tears. Eyes going red as bloody tears filled them. “I asked him to marry me two nights ago after a few hours of making the beast of two backs. He told me that it was too soon.” 

Soap shuddered at the use of that metaphor. “You two have known each other like two days.”

“Exactly! Plenty of time to fall in love.” Price grinned. 

Soap sighed. “No. Humans take time. Months. Years even. It’s not something you really do in a day.” 

Price frowned. “Why?”

“We don’t have an infinite amount of time like you guys. If we end up with the wrong person, we could waste out lives. So we have to make sure it’s the right person.” 

Neither Price or Ghost seemed to get that. Both stared blankly at him as if he was talking a different language. 

“Nevermind.” Soap sighed. They didn’t get it. Neither of them were human anyway. Also, if Ghost asked him to marry him, he’d say yes with absolutely no hesitation. Didn’t want to dissuade him in case he wanted to ask. “Is your fiance also a vampire?”

“No! She’s a witch I believe.”

Ghost gasped. “What if she’s just trying to steal your semen? Witches do that quite often.”

“You’d know from personal experience, wouldn’t you Simon?” Price laughed. “That lady had you tied up for…”

“Three days. She sucked. Literally.” Ghost moved away and looked around. “Have you guys considered that we need a cat?”

Soap was trying to come to terms with what he just heard. 

Interviewer: Sorry for not being here yesterday. I was super sick. Everything alright

Soap: Let me catch you up. So…

Interviewer: Oh my god. 

Alejandro: WATCH THE G-WORD

Interviewer: That’s great! I’m so glad you finally got bitten. Will you turn now?

Soap: Unfortunately not.

Interviewer: Uh huh. And what’s with the witches?

Soap: No clue. Let me ask Rodolfo. 

Rodolfo: Witches steal vampire semen. Everyone knows this.

Interviewer: Why?

Rodolfo: For their evil spells!!

Interviewer: What spells require vampire semen?

Rodolfo: Fucking idiots. 

Interviewer notates that he rolled his eyes and left him to continue his interview with Soap. 

Soap heard knocking and excused himself to go handle it. He opened the door to see… a man. A rather tall man with dark features. Tan skin, black hair, dark eyes. He wore a trenchcoat and had a crossbow with silver tipped arrowheads. 

Please do not be anyone’s sires or anyone’s spawn. 

“Hello. My name is Reyes. Religious?”

Soap stared blankly before realizing his cross necklace was out. He hadn’t even realized he had moved it to be visible while interviewing. He must’ve been fidgeting with it. “Ah. Non practicing catholic. Why?”

“You should keep that close. Are you aware that there are monsters in this neighborhood?”

Oh fuck. Oh no. Did he know? “Huh?”

“There is a monster wandering around back yards and down alleys. Harassing people. Stealing from people’s trash.”

Which of his vampires did this dumb shit?? Which one?? They were all so stupid. Rudy would never go through trashcans so it wasn’t him. Alejandro would get chewed out by Rudy. But Ghost didn’t let people observe him and live. Gaz wasn’t monstrous enough. Price had been busy the past few nights with this mysterious fiance. 

“I am of course talking about bigfoot.” Reyes continued.

Soap sighed in relief. “Oh that’s it?” He was all dressed up and had a crossbow for fucking bigfoot?

Reyes frowned. “This is very serious. A monster is loose. There have been multiple sightings. It’s a public safety concern.”

This dude is insane. Certified. Soap knew for a fact that bigfoot isn’t real. “Right. Well, it’s 10 pm and you’ve just given me a lot of information. What do you plan on doing about this?”

“I’m spreading the word in case they’re spotted.” He handed Soap a business card. “If you see anything wrong, just give me a call and I’ll be there. I want to nip this monster in the bud before it can get away again.”

“Again?”

“I’ve been tracking them for months. Following them across the country to try to trap them and I believe in this town, I can finally get them.” 

Soap didn’t know that Bigfoot used they/them pronouns. He was proud of them for coming out. 

“Right. Well, if I see anything, I promise to give you a call, Reyes.”

Unknown to Soap, Alejandro heard the name and felt a summon in his soul. He fled down the stairs and stayed at the edge of the door so he couldn’t be seen by the hunter in the door. 

Reyes nodded. “Thank you. Stay safe. Save your eggshells and crush them up. If you put them in your windows, it’ll keep werewolves out.” 

Alejandro immediately grabbed some eggshells and started to crush them as he waited for him to leave.

Soap noticed and rolled his eyes. “Uh, yeah. Thanks. I’m sure my roommates will be doing that. See you later.”

“Roommates?”

Soap closed the door in his face. “Alejandro.” 

Alejandro was hurried putting the crushed (not to powder, just vaguely crushed) eggshells in the windows. “I’m going to be rid of that dog.” 

Soap found how easily Alejandro could change from intelligent, almost manipulative suave person to a superstitious and… almost goofy guy was interesting. “Why did you come down?”

“Heard his name. My friend Chuy warned me that a hunter was nearby.”

“Chuy? Haven’t heard about him.”

“Yeah, he’s this vampire that dresses up in weird suits and then hangs out in the woods.” 

Soap paused. “Wait, what?” 

“Yeah. Like… the grassy ones. Ghillie suits.”

“Huh. So bigfoot is real. Just… a vampire in a costume.”

“Yeah, exactly. He’s great. Really funny.” Alejandro got out his phone and used siri to call Chuy. He put it on speakerphone but they both heard the ringing coming from upstairs. 

Soap jumped into Alejandro’s arms. “Why is in the house?? With no warning?”

“Look, I didn’t even know he was in town! You’re being really rude right now. Go welcome our guest.”

It occurred to neither of them that someone had to have invited him in if he was a vampire. 

Interviewer: Hi.

Chuy: Hi. 

Interviewer: I love the… antlers on your suit. 

Chuy: Thank you. I fled here to escape a cartel located in Mexico. I was betrayed.

Interviewer: Oh, wow. You’re an open book, I love that. Why were they chasing you?

Chuy: I stole all of their money.

Interviewer: Ah. 

Alejandro slowly crept up the stairs, still carrying Soap.  He planned to use him as a shield if Chuy attacked them. 

“Oh. You’re doing an interview?”

Chuy looked up, wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses. “Oh, yeah. Just… chilling. Why are you toying with your food?”

Alejandro dropped Soap on the ground. “He’s Ghost’s familiar. How are you man?” He pulled up a chair, distracting from the interviewer who just shrugged it off and got up to get himself a coffee. Soap continued to lay on the ground, thinking about something else. 

“Ah, Ghost. Hope he’s doing well.” Chuy stretched, bones popping unnaturally. “I heard Koenig is planning on traveling through this area soon as well. Wonder if we’ll all bump into each other.”

Alejandro frowned. “Lot of vampires have been coming through lately. Price is actually staying right now. There a reason for that?”

Chuy hummed. “Hunters for me and Koenig. Apparently they’ve been trying to crack down on us. Won’t work well for them though… Don’t kill Reyes by the way. He’s not dangerous to anyone but me. He’s a dog with a bone I’ve realized and I want to see how long until he gives up.”

Alejandro nodded slowly, though he looked suspicious. 

Soap dusted himself off and properly introduced himself. “Chuy is it?”

“Well, my actual name is Jesus.” Alejandro flinched when Chuy said that. “But as you can see, it’s a bit of a sensitive name around here so I stick with Chuy.” 

Soap nodded. “They call me Soap.”

“Considering how clean the house is, it’s a fitting nickname.” Chuy smiled kindly at him. 

Soap beamed at the praise but Alejandro quickly took Chuy’s attention to found out more about why he was there. 

Soap went outside for a smoke. The night was young and he was already stressed. Before he could even light it, he heard a whistle and looked over at Graves who was waving him over. He took the invitation, clearing the small space between his front door and Graves’s fence. 

Graves had almost healed bruises on his neck, so it looked like Price had gotten lucky. 

Soap wanted to get this out of the way. “If you’re going to ask me about Price, I’m sorry but he’s got a fiance. I’m really really sorry.” He prepared for high emotions. Sadness. Anger.

Graves just sipped his coffee and nodded. “I didn’t… He didn’t use me to cheat did he?”

“No. They uh… moved fast.”

“Yeah. I’m glad he found someone who’d accept his proposal five minutes into meeting. He kept calling me nicknames and just moving really fast. It was strange. You want a cup?”

Soap could’ve kissed Graves on the fucking mouth. He had money to spare so he always got really nice coffee. The expensive kinds that came in little packs or had to be brewed certain ways. “I’d love to, man.”

Graves smiled and let him inside. “Did the weird religious conspiracy theory guy talk to you?”

It took Soap just a moment to realize he meant Reyes. “Yeah. Dude was definitely out there. Did he give you his card?”

Graves laughed. “Oh, yeah. Monster hunter huh? What’s he going to do? Kill all the vampires in your house?”

Soap froze, staring. Graves didn’t seem to notice, just quietly fixing the cup before sliding it over. 

“Oh, come on Soap. They all have fangs, never come outside during the day and, oh yeah, Price told me. Like immediately. Said I looked like his dead wife.”

“That why you invited me in?” Soap was afraid. He didn’t know why. This was new territory. His neighbor, which was one of the few people he had to hide this from, suddenly knew. 

“No. I invited you in because you looked dead on your feet and I thought you might want to talk.”

Soap took a deep breath. 

Yeah. He did want to talk.

“Monster hunters are so dumb.”

Graves laughed. “Not where I was expecting this to go. But okay.” 

Soap nodded. “They’re so stupid! They just bumble around and sometimes kill someone! I killed a vampire easier than them!”

“You killed a vampire?”

“Don’t tell anyone.” Soap sighed and started to drink the coffee. “I know you won’t which is why I am telling you because I really need to talk to someone about this. And the vampires are so dumb sometimes too! Like certified idiots. The only reason they haven’t walked into the sun is they’re old enough to know better and honestly?? I think they’d forget if not for everyone else.”

Graves sat down to continue listening.

“And now I have to deal with these werewolves, those are real by the way, and they’re great but they just barge in at all times without caring about the fact that I have to clean up after them and try to get the smell out of the carpet.”

“They smell?”

“The vampires think so!” Soap exclaimed, feeling so tired. “I don’t know why they’re like that. All of them are so particular and want everything to be just right and….” He sighed and put his head on the table.

“And you put up with this, why?” 

“I’m their familiar. Ghost is going to make me a vampire.”

“That’s it? I mean… You could probably just find a vampire elsewhere right?”

Soap hesitated. “I mean. Yeah, I could. But they couldn’t know I’m a familiar. It’s improper to turn someone else’s. And Ghost would be upset.”

Graves tilted his head. “Ghost is the masked one, right?”

“Yes.”

“What’s he like?”

“Tall. Hot. Amazing. Dramatic, but I love it about him.”

Graves smiled at him and got up again. He went into his cabinet and Soap noticed some weird bottles of powder. Not quite salt. Just white powder. He really hoped Graves wasn’t an addict. Graves grabbed whatever he was looking for and shrugged. “I hope you get turned soon, friend. See you around.” 

Soap was up and out of there before he really put together how weird of a dismissal that was. It worked well though. 

Graves quietly sharpened a couple of bolts he had for his crossbow. 

What a shame. He’d hate to have to take a different hunter’s kill.