#so yeah no we're not doing that in rekindled LMAO

[genericpuff]

Question but is Thanatos still Hades son in LR?

[captn-trex]

technical devotion, part fifteen: promises made

a/n: I think I'm gonna start aiming to get a chapter of this out every thursday roughly. I have everything planned out apart from how it's gonna end lmao, but rest assured, it shall be happy. I'm looking forward to you guys seeing what's in store! also, I did not realise how slow burn this would be lol, we're still a way off from first kiss territory, buuuuut... this chapter is one I've been waiting to write since the beginning ! hope you enjoy it (sorry for the long a/n)

warnings: injury & pain (not in any great detail) insecure echo :/

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In the weeks following Kan and Echo rekindling their friendship, Kan slowly began to get a grasp on her new role in the ranks, which was mainly because Echo was now there to support her. He was there to remind her not to let her worries overtake her, and a hand on her arm, or an encouraging smile, usually did the trick. Echo's presence calmed her in an instant, and the task of leading didn't seem as daunting with him around. Not that it was always so simple.

Kan stepped out of the command room, rubbing a hand over her face and sighing deeply. Echo was quick to notice as he exited behind her.

“Have you been sleeping?” He asked, stopping her in the corridor.

“I've been sleeping fine yeah, its just… My mind. My mind is tired” She admitted.

“What's wrong?” Echo frowned.

Kan exhaled a long breath, “I really don't know if I'm meant to lead people. It's really outside of my comfort zone even now, and it's just got my brain going into overdrive. I can't stop thinking about… What if something really bad happened under my watch? Or because of a decision I made? I don't think I could cope Echo”

Echo's expression softened the more Kan spoke, a silent admiration of her showing on his features. He placed his hands on her shoulders, something he noted that helped to ground her and gain her focus entirely.

“M'aira, you're doing a great job, and you'll continue to. Rex wouldn't choose you for this if he didn't think you could do it or handle it, and if it means anything to you, I believe in you too”

Kan let a shy smile lift the edges of her lips, “Thanks, it means a lot yeah”

Echo returned her smile, “Now, come with me, I have a small surprise for you”

“You do?” Kan looked up at him with slightly widened eyes.

“It's nothing special” He said as he took his hands away from her shoulders and began walking towards her office, “I just figured that since you seem to insist on sleeping in your office every night…”

Echo opened the door, showing his handiwork to Kan.

“…That having your bunk in here might be the way to go. That way I can stop worrying about you as well”

Kan grinned up at the clone, wrapping her arms around his waist and giving him a quick tight squeeze, “Thank you Echo, you're too kind to me”

Echo shook his head with a smile, resisting the urge to pull Kan back towards him, “Not really, if I was kind I would have tidied up in here too”

Kan looked around her office, still messy as ever. It seemed that Echo had just pushed the worst of the mess aside to make room for the bed.

“It's fine, I don't mind it like this anyway, the mess doesn't really bother me” She shrugged.

Echo huffed a small laugh, “I don't think I could cope if my office was this messy”

Kan hummed thoughtfully, her eyes darting across the mess.

“When do you leave for your mission?” Kan asked, looking back up into his honey eyes.

“We leave early tomorrow morning” Echo gave a sad smile.

“So I won't see you before you go?” Kan questioned, and Echo shook his head. Kan chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, “I wish I was going with you”

Echo could feel the words tugging at his heart, “I don't”

Kan gave him a stern look, her eyebrows drawn together.

He chuckled, “You can't get hurt if you don't go at all”

“You think I can't handle myself?” Kan asked, minorly offended but mostly confused.

“Oh I know you can, I‘m just happier knowing you're safe” Echo confessed, and he could feel his cheeks heating at the slightly vulnerable admission.

Kan just huffed, “Well it doesn't get much more safe than sitting around in the base all day”

“You'll get your chance to go into the field again, don't worry” He assured, a hand on her shoulder.

Kan smiled. Her eyes didn't meet his for a few seconds, but when they did he could tell there was a certain sadness laced within the gentle expression.

“Be safe, yeah?” She urged quietly.

Echo smiled softly, the edges of his eyes crinkling, “I will”

Without warning and much thought of her own, Kan wrapped her arms around Echo again, more tenderly this time. Echo could feel his heart beating out of his chest as he gently wrapped her in his own arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

In the past weeks, Kan had become more physically comfortable around Echo, and though he enjoyed it thoroughly, it was still always a little startling. Especially with a touch so gentle and tender as the hug she was currently giving him, it was hard to not be overwhelmed.

“Don't do anything stupid. Don't get yourself hurt” Kan spoke into his chest, and he was certain she could hear how furiously his heart was beating.

“I won't” He replied, hugging her tighter into his body to reassure her, “I promise”

Kan nodded along, listening intently as Rex detailed the upcoming mission. She was a little disappointed to not seem to be going on this mission, as they were going to be infiltrating the base that she had discovered through listening in on the Empire's long range comms. It was a dangerous job, they knew nothing about what this prison would be like once they were in, but that was the reason they were set on going. There were clones being imprisoned there, and they wanted to know why.

“Now, while all that is going on, me and Kan will be on a separate directive, looking to garner any information about this prison” Rex continued, and Kan's ears perked up, her posture straightening at the mention of her.

Rex hadn't discussed this with her before, but she was more than happy to do it, particularly with him.

“That's the plan as of now, but we'll have to wait until more men are back here to enact it” Rex moved away from the central holotable and crossed his arms, “I suggest getting some good rest tonight, they could be back at any time and I want to get this done as soon as possible”

Rex dismissed the clones, and Kan was immediately at his side.

“Rex, about the-”

“Sorry to spring that on you, I was hoping to speak with you earlier but your door was locked” Rex explained.

“Ah right, yeah, I was… tidying”

“Tidying?” Rex raised an eyebrow, a small smirk quirking his lips.

“Yeah, anyway, I wanted to ask you-”

Kan didn't get the chance to finish her question as the door to the command centre zipped open and her focus was drawn towards it. She did a double take, the sight she took in not registering in her mind at first.

It was Echo. He was back from his mission, but something was wrong. His form was alarmingly straight and rigid, his forearm resting against the door frame and holding him up. Each small movement sent a twitch to his face, his teeth clenched and eyes squeezed shut, nostrils flared.

Kan's heart leapt to her throat, and she rushed over to him.

“What happened?” She spoke hurriedly, paying no mind to the other clones around them who watched on.

Echo exhaled shakily, “Got… shot, in the back”

Kan tried so desperately to remain calm despite the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. She turned to look at Rex over her shoulder, hoping for some kind of support.

“We haven’t got a proper medic” He said, clearly shaken by his brother's condition.

That snapped Kan into gear, “I've got medical training, I've got it”

Kan took Echo's arm and threw it over her shoulder, pulling a pained groan from him. She quickly led him to her office, which was only just down the hall, and smacked the door panel in a frantic hurry. She set him down on the bed gently and instantly went about rooting around in the draws of her desk looking for her medkit. When she had found it, she looked up at Echo, who was trying to take off his armour, and failing as his wound cried out in pain.

“Stop, let me do it” Kan spoke instantly, standing in front of him and shooing his hands away.

Her fingers got working on the clasps, starting with his arms and working her way up, exactly as Echo did it.

“How do you know how to do this?” He asked, fighting through his pain.

“I've watched you do it enough times” Kan replied, a small shrug in her shoulders as she focused. Echo would've smirked but his chest plate dug into his wound as she took it off. “Sorry” She whispered.

“S'fine” Echo managed to hiss out as Kan climbed over the bed to sit behind him cross-legged. She tried to survey the damage, to see how bad it really was, but to no avail.

“Could you take this off?” Kan asked, her fingers playing with the hem of his blacks.

If it was possible, Echo’s body seized up even more. He nervously fidgeted his own fingers along the hem, letting out an exasperated huff. His blaster wound was sending small shocks through his body with every movement, but he was single-mindedly focused on not letting Kan take off his top.

Kan noted his discomfort immediately, and let out a sigh.

“Echo” She spoke so gently from behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder, “It's okay, please let me help you”

Echo relented with a slump of his shoulders, “Okay”

Kan helped to peel off the tight base layer, several pained noises escaping the man she was helping. As she saw the wound, she couldn't help but suck a sharp breath between her teeth. Three blaster bolts scorched into his lower back, creating a cluster of open wounds.

Echo assumed her reaction was to seeing the cybernetic attachments he had in his back. His breath was shaky as he tried to calm himself, but it only became more unstable as Kan traced around the outside of his wound.

“I told you to be safe Echo” She whispered, “You promised not to get hurt”

She sounded so solemn, and Echo couldn't find it in himself to say anything. Thankfully, she then got to work on the wound, but it wasn't without discomfort. She first administered a pain relief injection, and his breath caught in his throat as she cupped the side of his neck to do so. She warned him every time she was going to touch him, the antiseptic wipe against his wound making him flinch and grunt more than he wished, stinging even with the pain relief. She placed a bacta patch over the area when she had cleaned it appropriately, and it stung for just a second before the bacta started working it's magic.

“Does that feel better?” She asked quietly, and Echo just nodded

Kan ran her fingers along the edge of the metal apparatus that climbed up his back, causing Echo to shudder under her touch. The feeling of it was so intimate, yet so tainted by sadness and clouded by self-concious thoughts that Echo couldn't focus on the warmth of Kan's fingers against his bare back.

“You're lucky, they almost hit your spine” She spoke, sounding resoundingly serious.

Echo could only hang his head. He felt so ashamed. He had worked hard to get past this mindset, but with the woman he desired like no other sitting behind him and inspecting the damage done to his body, he couldn't help it.

Kan could understand a little of what Echo was thinking, she just hoped she was wrong. She slid from behind him and knelt in front of him on the floor, but he wouldn't look at her.

“Echo” She said as gently as she could, placing a hand on his knee, “I'm glad you're okay”

Echo looked up to her, and the emotions she saw swimming in his eyes were almost enough to bring her to tears.

“What can I say to make you feel better?” She asked in a whisper, for fear that speaking louder would cause him to break.

“There's nothing to say” He said firmly, looking down to his lap.

Kan couldn't help but reach out. She placed a hand on his face, lightly rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone.

“Please talk to me” She pleaded.

After a moment of painful silence, Echo sighed, “I don't show people my cybernetics for a reason”

“Echo it's okay-”

“But it's not” He frowned, his eyes snapping to Kan’s once more. “It's not okay. The attachments, they- they're not exactly desirable, and no one wants someone with all… this. I-” He puffed out a sad breath, the next admission feeling daunting, “It makes me feel like I'm half a man”

Kan's heart broke.

“That's not true” She said sternly, both hands now on his cheeks, forcing him to pay attention to her words, “You're every bit of a man as any other, and even more than that, you're a good man Echo. Anyone would be lucky to have you”

“Anyone?” Echo asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Kan wasn't really sure what he was asking. Was he asking because he just wanted confirmation that she was telling the truth? Or was it something more? She weighed her options of what to say, biting into her bottom lip with her eyebrows pinched. She couldn't just admit to her affections for him right now if that wasn't what he was after.

Instead, she took her hands away from his face, sitting back of her heels with a shy look on her face, “Yes, anyone”

Kan stood up and grabbed the medkit, taking it back over to the desk and placing it in the draw.

“You stay here tonight, I'll take your bunk” She said, turning around to meet Echo's intense gaze once more.

“No, I'm fine, I'll-” He was interrupted by his own sharp intake of breath as he tried to stand.

Kan smiled at him knowingly and walked over, placing her hands on his shoulder to keep him rooted to the bed.

“Please, stay here” She insisted.

She found herself lost in Echo's eyes. So many emotions were flitting through them and she couldn't keep track. She absent-mindedly began rubbing her thumb along his bare collarbone, before she realised what she was doing and pulled away.

“I'll see you tomorrow” She nodded to him, leaving quickly and shutting the door behind her.

Echo let out a breath that he didn't realise he was holding and laid back on the bed. His mind was full to the brim with every thought he’d had about Kan since meeting her.

Her distinct scent enveloped him as he crawled into her bunk. He inhaled deeply, letting it take him over and overpower him, washing away his troubled thoughts, and eventually letting it lull him into a peaceful sleep.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, November 7th, 2024.

What's one simple pleasure(s) that you greatly enjoy? Waking up to a snow-covered landscape. Cuddling with my cats while cozy in bed. Eating a warm and delicious breakfast. What a nice morning. <3

What are you listening to? The furnace running and the sound of my typing.

Are you in a relationship? I'm not.

What is your opinion on abortion? I'm pro-choice.

Why do you think so many people get depressed these days? There are probably a lot of factors. There certainly were in my own life. Thankfully, I'm doing so much better now and would no longer consider myself depressed.

Last movie you saw in theaters: Wild Robot.

Your heart is beating faster than usual, whom are you standing next to? It would most likely beat that way due to anxiety, so maybe Alex, my sibling, or certain people from my past.

What was going through your mind during your last kiss? I no longer recall.

Why did your last relationship fail? I was deeply mentally ill and harbored a lot of unresolved trauma. I also just don't think we were as compatible as we wished we were.

Do you feel like screaming? Naw.

How are you in general? Pretty good. Looking forward to a relaxing day of housecleaning and baking.

Do you think the world would be a better place without humans? It would be less polluted and there wouldn't be any human-caused suffering, but nature - for all its beauty and abundance - is still an incredibly indifferent, destructive, and oftentimes grotesque force. Eliminating humanity from the equation wouldn't suddenly transform the Earth into a Garden of Eden.

Last dream you had: The first fragment involved the animal shelter. I don't remember much aside from tasks taking an incredibly long time and feeling like I was fumbling around without making much progress. The second dream mainly took place in something of a hospital setting. Reminded me of my eating disorder inpatient days. I was showing Nick (ex-partner) around to the various gaming/activity rooms. There was also a bit of initial estrangement and rekindled romance involved, but nothing too over the top. Mostly limited to hugging, so relatively PG.

What's your favorite drink? Water, coffee, and hot chocolate.

What's love to you? A deep feeling of trust, respect, understanding, etc. Which are also words that are difficult to define, lmao.

How is the weather today? Cloudy, snowy, and 30*F.

Are you in love? I'm not.

What was your favorite cartoon during childhood? I didn't have an absolute favorite, but I watched shows like Doug, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Spongebob, Dragon Ball Z, Yu-Gi-Oh, etc.

Who is your best friend and why? Oliver.

What is your greatest fear? Losing my dad.

What is on your mind right now? Mostly animal shelter stuff and how to stay safely separate from some possible drama. I don't want a repeat of last time, so I'm going to have to set boundaries even if it upsets some people (or one person in particular - everyone else should be chill about it).

Do you have any addictions? Smoking.

Have you ever done drugs, if so, what? Yeah.

Do you enjoy watching Family Guy? I did when I was younger, but I doubt I would enjoy it now. It's just not my cup of tea.

What is it that you really want right now? No more migraines. It's the biggest missing puzzle piece in my life right now. Without them, I would have almost no reservations about applying to the animal shelter.

Are you deep? Well, I'm not shallow…but there are far deeper thinkers than me out there.

What is your opinion of God? Is he real? I choose to believe in God. But is God real, and what is God, actually? I have no idea.

Do you and your best friend have funny nicknames for one another? Not really.

Are you a parent? I'm not.

Who would you like to be for a day? Maybe a climber summiting Mount Everest. I am aware of all the issues and controversies surrounding it, but since we're talking impossible hypotheticals here…yeah.

Is there a member of the opposite sex that you can tell anything to? I can tell pretty much anything to my therapist.

What are some bands that you've seen live?

Who is your favorite person? My dad.

What is your favorite season? Autumn. The early days when the leaves are just beginning to change and there's only a whisper of a chill in the air. The middle days when the leaves are in full transformation and the nights are longer and cozier. And the later days when the trees are mostly barren, the cold and frost are constant companions, and the snow begins to fly.

If you would get the chance to relive your past, would you do differently? Like my whole life or just specific parts of it? Would I magically know then what I know now? It's just weird to imagine being a baby and possessing all of my current knowledge and experience…

How? There are all kinds of things I would do differently…or might never experience at all. I don't know how dramatic the "butterfly effect" would be, but at some point I would inevitably break with my original trajectory and wind up in unknown territory. Honestly, though, I would prefer to work with the life I have.

Do you know who Kurt Cobain is? Yeah.

What about Ben Moody? Yeah.

How is life for you? I would say it's mostly good. It has its challenging and painful aspects, but they're tolerable.

State something about yourself that no one knows? Hmm.

Do you have any pets? What are their names? I have three kitties named Esther, Karenna, and Lacy.

Last joke you heard, did you find it funny? Slightly.

What is your favorite recent memory? Hiking along the Carhart trail with my dad. Such a quintessential cloudy autumn day brimming with nostalgia.

Do you like to cuddle? Yesss.

What is the most important thing to you in life? My loved ones, my cats, volunteering, growing/healing, learning how to create and protect a sense of peace.

What is your favorite movie?

What's a song(s) you can relate to?

Have you heard of Postsecret? Yeah.

Whom do you look up to? My dad, staff at the animal shelter, my therapist, etc.

Where and with whom did your last hug take place? I think it was at Chili's. My mom and I hugged after we went out to eat.

Do you want children someday? No.

What would you name them?

If you could represent a sin, what would it be? Sloth or envy.

Do you enjoy horror movies? Yeah.

Do you believe in ghosts? I'm not sure. Even though I'm fascinated by the paranormal, I sure am something of a skeptic.

Would you ever go bungee jumping? Maybe if the opportunity presented itself, but it's not something I would seek out.

If you had 13 million dollars, what would you do with it? Probably just save it and use it as necessary. I can't see myself changing my lifestyle very much.

Are you waiting for someone to message or text you? I just checked my text messages and saw one from Iris (manager). She asked if I was coming in today/couldn't remember my usual days. I told her my schedule and said I would be happy to come in if needed, so now I'm just waiting for a text back.

Do you tend to hide your true self? Yeah.

Do you have a lot of friends? Just one best friend.

What's the last time you laughed really hard? A few weeks ago.

Are you looking forward to anything? Yes.

[stregoniconiconii]

lowkey, in steddie fic where rnance is a side pairing it sometimes feels like it's done to in some way do away with both Robin and nancy. like with Nancy it's the whole "pair the canon love interest with someone else so they don't get in the way of the ship" thing but gay, and with robin it sometimes feels like it's done to make her less of a presence in Steve's life to like make more room for eddie(or whoever) and Steve's reaction is almost like it Has to be positive to not put a strain on their friendship bc that's not what they want the story to be about.

and sometimes there's even the vibe of like steve has to cheer robin on to not be in the wrong, but robin gets put in the wrong bc she gets too involved with nancy, leaving steve sad, eddie comes in to rescue steve from being Alone, and after steddie get together robin comes back and apologises for being too into her girlfriend, and then everything is swell! idk there's just vibes sometimes that the motivation for rnance as a side ship is doing every character involved a disservice.

but like i get that sometimes u have a ship that u can't imagine not being together, so they are together in every story u write, even if for the sake of the story u want to tell, maybe they shouldn't be.

hmm yeah I see what you mean, I dont think it's necessarily like what ppl are thinking when they write these side plots it's just one of those things where you spend like three or whatever chapters Just writing about steddie and then ur like wait what were the other characters doing? okay they were off kissing too. tbh most of the time it gets revealed that robin has been hanging out with Nancy in steddie fics after Steve and Eddie just went through some sort of conflict so I think writers tend to want to have a bit of an emotional break like we Just went through some relationship angst/change but dw there's no angst about ur ex and best friend dating! lol and then robin provides some emotional insight to Steve about Eddie and then everyone kisses and is happy like ive come to expect that if Steve and Robin are fighting for any reason once they make up the romantic relationship will go through some sort of change too I mean it's classic romcom but yeah I do agree that robin dating someone is often done to get Steve and Eddie alone sort of in the same way the younger teens are there but not really there you know like steve's hosting them all the time and it feels like he's barely ever talking to them lol like the amount of times ive read about Steve and robin going to a gay club and then they almost immediately separate is a little funny to me. I think they would be nervous little wallflowers the first time they go to a gay club but that's just me

anyway yeah I think this does go back to ppl just not wanting to deal with stancy lmao like I get it I dont ship it either but I think waving away their flirting/potential romance rekindling as just some weird thing that didn't really happen lol justtt doesn't do either of them a favour. I know Steve was definitely having a manic episode in those last few episodes but still.

this is something I can only really say about r/nance in steddie fic tho bc I am not reading r/nance....zero desire <3 then again I dont think ive actually read a steddie fic in a minute I kinda hate Eddie at the moment in a bit of an older sibling hating the new baby kind of way rn. like wdym we're not giving him back to the hospital lmao

[hor-i-zons]

My roommate and I aren't together since July, and I was pretty upset about it at the time but I've since realized we are too different to reconnect and wondered how things even worked out between us as long as they did. Almost 4 years! It's pretty impressive, actually. We both put forth a big amount of effort to maintain that, but in the end it just wasn't working out.

Around September I had an idea and reached out to a friend I was rooming with at a con the week prior to said con... And well... We tried something out after I got the go ahead from them. Ended up growing a lot closer to them during that weekend. Maybe accidentally (but not in an unwelcome way) rekindled feelings they once apparently had for me. So. That's a thing that's kinda happened lmao.

We aren't really a "thing" right now but we might as well be given the shit we're doing. I love them tons, and we've known each other for a good long while already so we know plenty about one another. Idk WHY I had been getting with people that I've only known for like a fucking month, why didn't I just get with a person I've known for awhile instead jfc...

This is the first time things don't feel awkward and uncomfortable with another person. Things feel right and completely natural with them. Yeah there was some nervousness at first, that's a given regardless who I'm with. But as soon as I got over that, been nothing but pleasant experiences. I unfortunately don't get to see them often though, because I'm not in my hometown anymore, but I take what chances I can get.

UGH they're so fucking sweet... and gentle... about everything. It's weird for me, but I like it. Hoping to see them again soon ❤

[vicdeangxo]

text: vic & molly

molly-mae: I know but I set out to do this alone, without a partner. people already thought it was mad and I just want to prove them wrong but this is so much harder than I expected. molly-mae: please do. bam bam already misses your lullabies. she could never forget about you! you're one of her favorite people ever. molly-mae: wait wait wait.. hold on just a minute. you need to tell me every little detail. one, because this is huge you're talking again and two, I'm over here alone with a newborn 24/7 reading children's books and singing lullabies/nursery rhymes so I need all the gossip I can get. how did it happen? what did she say? are you two going to rekindle? did you hook up? molly-mae: I'm in my "I can do it myself era" so I've kind of been not accepting any help since you and maurs left? don't be mad at me, I just want to prove I can do this on my own.. which is leading to my "sleep deprived era"I'm absolutely dreading that I have to leave her in a couple weeks but that trip we're all going on is a commitment I can't get out of so I'm just a mess, thinking about leaving her so soon. and I don't want people thinking I'm a bad mum leaving her less than a month old but I don't have much of a choice because of this commitment. maybe I'll catch up on sleep on this trip so I'm not a total mess. god bless whoever my roommate is lol

vic: it's hard now; with sleepless nights and not having someone there 24/7 you can lean on but you are much stronger than you know, babes. once she starts sleeping through the night, it'll start getting a little easier. you're a natural mum, but it's hard to see that when you're so sleep deprived and your hormones are still going crazy too. vic: i miss her sooooo much. i miss that newborn smell too. ugh. give her some kisses for me, yeah? vic: lmao, i'll be your gossip dealer then. i was at that bon jovi tribute event to support Dami and i didn't know she'd be there to. we had an awkward run-in in a bathroom. then, i saw her at the grammy's after-party. we talked, got a little drunk, we argued and i got a glass of tequila thrown on me. i think she felt bad the morning after and we've been texting ever since. no hookup but maybe there is a chance of a reunion after all. vic: oh babes, it doesn't make you any less of an A++ mom if you let someone take the baby for a few hours so you can sleep. you're a single mom that still has to work and has commitments, but no one should doubt your love and devotion to bambi. she'll be well-taken care of and her mom gets a little break too. you're not doing anything wrong honoring your commitments.

[rayofninetynine]

haven't ranted in a while so hi! i'm not using twitter much at the moment because there's too much drama going on for my liking so here i am. i haven't watched svu or oc because i'm beyond tired and frustrated. at the rate we're going, eo is just a terrible joke. like they're not even friends anymore, just two people who used to work together and it's depressing. i've seen some people say to have faith in the new svu showrunner and lmao... please be fr. we were told we were going to have a sort of bottle episode for eo and now it's scrapped. we were told eo were gonna talk and... they aren't even able to coordinate the shows. it's hard, i get it. i do understand it might be very difficult to get both actors on the same show but they had the entire summer to plan ANYTHING and... crickets.

apparently the quality of svu has vastly improved and i'm glad! i just stopped caring about that show years ago and there's nothing that coud make me watch again besides eo so yeah. i'm happy to know all characters are getting equal screentime and the tr*uma p*rn without any follow up has finally stopped.

i'm just very sad that they are giving eo zero attention though. i'm not saying they should be the focus, but they are also an important part of both shows and A LOT OF PEOPLE care about them. too bad the showrunners and everyone else seem to think they are just background noise.

the shows have a couple of years left at best. i really just wish they could rekindle their friendship at least since it's likely we won't get anything more.

also it's funny how olivia needs to ~heal~ before starting any romantic relationship because you can't love someone if you don't love yourself first!!!!!! but rollisi are just fine. the double standard is amazing actually.

that's something that really irritates me. also everyone else gets to have a support system, someone to lean on to and olivia is just there. she's just a ~badass captain~ and ~friend~ but she never gets to express anything. i mean at least she's not robotic anymore i guess! but still. she gotta listen to people trauma dump on her all the time and she barely gets the attention she deserves.

you guys have fun being strung along tho! i'm so over the whole thing which is sad because i used to be super excited and now i feel nothing.

i'm really so tired of seeing olivia SAD all the time. it feels like she's a supporting character right now not even the main one and that version of eo they're currently portraying is SHALLOW. it's really embarrassing how they are (not) writing them.

[doctorofmagic]

I find it so sad and upsetting to see the Clea tag here on tumblr being SO full of people complaining about her and being upset that Stephen didn't end up with Christine... I just want to read some new people appreciating Clea now and her fans being happy, and yet I'm finding so much negativity 😔 I love Christine as well and I was so happy with what they did in MoM with her character and her relationship with Stephen, and yet palmerstrange fans are all so angry. These ship wars are so stupid, kill all my joy of being in fandom.

PS: Anon who sent me the Palmerstrange ask, I’m sorry but tumblr got dumb and deleted your post as I was editing this ask. But luckily enough I was able to answer your whole question before it got deleted. Sorry :/

Okay *sighs*

First of all, I'd like to say that I understand where both preferences come from, even though I've always been biased because of Cleaphen (even when it was just Victoria and Clea, I always rooted for Clea because I knew how deep Stephen loved her - and yes, Stephen is poly-coded in canon).

Anon 1: I was avoiding the tags but your message made me curious and since I lack self-caring, I checked it out and yikes, yeah... I understand where they come from and I respect their sadness for having their ship wrecked but uh...

It's okay, they may not accept Clea now but who knows? They can always change their minds, especially if they see that Stephen is happy (which is really a sign of love).

I mean, I've been there in other fandoms so I know how it feels, but it's not like I didn't appreciate the new possibilities cause, luckily, I'm able to multi-ship so all good.

But true, true. Ship wars are the stupidest bs in any fandom. Also if I was THAT obsessed with canon, I wouldn't have a fic with 14+ ships featuring Stephen lmao. It's not that serious. Besides, canon never stopped people before, me included 😭 90% of my ships are not canon, so what?

Anon 2: At this point, I'm just glad they introduced her instead of using Christine as a variant, ngl 😭 this concept of variants in the MCU just set everything on fire. It worked so well on comics but now, like, I'm not commenting on THAT. I refuse to do so. But okay, okay, at least she's here!! Also I really don't see that Stephen's story will end in DS3 when we're having a fourth Thor movie coming and it won't probably be the last? I strongly believe we'll have so much more of him, and consequently Clea.

Anon 3: Thank you for your kindness! Yes, yes, let's always support older women and their amazing work! I'm just glad to see more of this on screen. There's still a long road but the more vocal we’re about it, more often we’ll see them represented.

Anon 4 who asked about Palmerstrange: look... I really tend to avoid ship discourse on my blog because I know it hurts people's feelings so I'd rather not to, even though the opposite is not always true. Besides, I liked them in the What If? episode, although I agree that MCU!Stephen and Christine were portrayed in a way that their relationship wouldn't be rekindled. But that's just my interpretation. People ship for less. Crack ships exist. Who am I to judge people's preferences? (except pr0-sh1pping. That's definitely not my cup of tea.) In my opinion, when Christine kisses Stephen's cheek in the first movie, I knew they wouldn't end up together since I understood that moment as a gesture of platonic affection. And the fact that Stephen clings into her memory is because he needs love, and her memory is all he has left. But then again, that's MY interpretation. Doesn't mean I'm right.

What I'll criticize, though, is people coming for Clea and saying all kinds of nasty stuff when first loves are hardly endgame irl. It feels real to me. The point is, I agree with you, but it doesn't invalidate Palmerstrangers who felt compelled by their story on screen because it was their interpretation when consuming said content.

--

In any case, my point is, it's really hard for me to validate or invalidate people's preferences when it comes to shipping because, as I said, I'm able to ship Stephen with every character in the Marvel Universe, it works in my head regardless of canon. But that's just me. There are ships that I really dislike in the MCU and have strong opinions on them but you'll never hear about it 🥴 and this is why I avert my eyes to this kind of discourse.

(truly, this subject feels like walking on eggshells oooooof)

[orangeccreamsicles]

Dirk: ==> update your BBF(best bro friend)

TT: It's so incredibly inconvenient that you're deleting. How am I supposed to tag you in horrible fashion choices and pro-arson-anti-establishment moodboards slash aesthetics? Actually send them to you, like some sort of mad man? How am I supposed to send you horrible anonymous messages meant to do nothing but make you question who the fuck has enough time on their hands to think of that shit? TT: And this? Body horror cw, but how can I possibly be sure you'll see this and understand it's for you? There's literally no possible way to be sure it'll reach you in any other form, even though I'm sending it to you directly right now. [TT] is sending the image(s) https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/526894347430527000/575448556949995543/SPOILER_tumblr_p4nd82yl6e1t5zyeuo1_1280.png ! TT: Actually, it's mostly just poor fashion choices and cat gifs that end up in your tag, but there's a good few aesthetic pieces sprinkled in for flavour. There's a neon "Cherry Bomb" sign in this funky ass font that's recent, if nothing else. An elaborate :ok_hand: prank, too.

CA: Sorry, bud. You knowv howv it is. CA:Actually, you don’t, because you’re still there. Tumblr sucks so much chute. Can’t stand it anymore. Plus, I’vwe been so busy vwith my actual life. CA: But you can alvways just spam random shit at me on here. Just like that! CA: That’s perfect. TT: Yeah, well, you know me. No life, and loving to suffer. That's the Strider aesthetic and brand. We're all about putting up with things for the sheer sake of it(slash spite) and literally nothing else. Surely you must have picked up on that just a little. CA: Hmm, maybe a little. CA: Howv you been? Sorry I havwen’t been around. [TT] is sending the link(s) https://orangeccreamsicles.tumblr.com/post/182819433708 https://orangeccreamsicles.tumblr.com/post/183585507085/daggers-drawn-audacityinblack ! TT: These two are also very important. What's your Tshirt size? TT: Not super fantastic, but you know. The world keeps turning, nobody's died yet. It's cool man, you've got irons in the fire, balls in the air, etc etc etc. CA: Uh, small. CA: Not super fantastic? You vwannaaaaaa. CA: Talk about that? TT: Hahah, twink. CA: Shut up. TT: Ehhhhhhhh. It's all boring interpersonal shit that I'm not sure is even resolved yet or not. I got magicked into a mermaid for a couple days a while ago, so that's something. TT: I'm not really. On speaking terms with Bo anymore, that's another one. CA: Oh. CA: Damn. I’m sorry, man. CA: VWhat happened?? TT: Did I ever mention that he and Sock are rails now? CA: VWhaaaaat. CA: You mentioned Sock has a moirail but I didn’t think it vwas him. CA: That’s. CA: VWeird. CA: I don’t see it. TT: I didn't either, LMAO! TT: But it happened, guess I wasn't really paying attention. Seemed like Bo'd been more distant for a bit but I thought that was my fault for not asking how he was doing or initiating shit more often. TT: Anyway. Turns out I'm a jealous piece of shit. I lashed out at Sock, said a lot of shit I very much regret, and now. TT: I'm pretty much positive Bo wants me dead. As in like, he's mentioned killing me. Which is a cool thing. Sock says he doesn't hate me flat out but the trust is gone. I have done an absolutely piss poor job of rekindling any kind of friendship there. CA: Tch. That guy. CA: Not gonna get into it. CA: I’m not gonna talk shit. Gonna be mature about this. TT: Hah. CA: I’m just really sorry. I knowv you liked him a lot. CA: Howv you liked him, I don’t knowv. But. TT: I liked him so much. TT: He was so straight up about shit. That's a problem I have for sure, everything's gotta be behind seventeen layers of irony, but he just said whatever without thinking. It got him in trouble a fair amount, maybe he tripped over his words, but he said it. And he was trying so hard to be good; to help his kids and his crew and himself, to recover from [redacted]. And he was nice. Not to everyone, I know, but TT: Hm. We are now over the line of things I can just let air out on their own. That particular train of thought is being halted at the station, please reschedule all flights. TT: It's cancellations and delays all across the board. CA: Mmhm. CA: No going back on it, huh. CA: Yeahh. It happens. CA: I knowv. It really sucks. CA: It sucks.. losing someone you really cared about. Like fucking up so bad you can nevwer evwer recovwer vwhat you had. CA: You knowv I knowv vwhat that’s like. TT: Ughhhhhhh. CA: I’m not good at making people feel better. CA: I’m a realist and I’m telling you like it is. TT: That's probably for the best. At least in this case. TT: He knows so much shit about me. I know a whole load about him. What do I do with it now? I can't just toss all that information aside. Does it mean anything? TT: I don't know how to word what I'm feeling. TT: I willingly gave him information about myself, which is something very few people including yourself get access to, and now that we're nothing, what is he going to do with it? I hate it when people know things about me but I let him and the reasoning is gone but he still knows. It's like he's got this chunk of me with him and vise versa that we can't give back and I don't know what the fuck to do with it now! Especially because I still like him, and I can see when he gets bad, but I can't do shit about it, even if he wanted me to. TT: And he sure as fuck doesn't want me to, because he wants me dead! TT: God, this is fucking gay. CA: I dunno vwhat to tell you. I really don’t. CA: The best you can hope for is. Uh.. CA: Somethingbadhappenstohimcausinghimtoforget. TT: Har har. CA: I vwish I vwas kidding. TT: I don't want anything bad to happen to him. TT: I want only good things to go his way and for him to be unbelievably, unabashedly happy because I'm fucking stupid and gay. TT: (Imagine me hitting my head on a desk and doing the verbal equivalent of a keysmash here.) CA: I’m imagining it. CA: I’m sorry, man.

[diary-dot-exe]

dump - entry 1 of ?

song: instagram - dean

remind me to not scroll through instagram and compare how great my following's lives are to my bland one. i see them partying at clubs, going out of town, doing besties shit with their siblings while i'm at home drowning myself in games that i only play for validation and to be "not like the other girls," and barely hang out with my siblings.

i knew i had been an odd one since i was a kid. i mean, that's why i belong with the "unpopular kids" or "the weird ones." during lunch breaks, i would often get left behind the classroom doing nothing. i never had fixed friends before. after parting ways, one of them invited me to the school fair and as much as i don't want to go, i felt bad. wish i didn't go because i was left alone lmao. people were suddenly nice to me there, though. needless to say, i left early. no point staying there until the fair closes since i have no one with me anyway.

high school time. seventh grade was a big change since i came from a private school but it was still bland. had my first crush and did cringey things to catch his attention and be nice to him. bought him drinks during his game and even had his jersey number as my shirt number. yeah, embarrassing. looking at his girlfriend now, a classmate of mine back then, i knew i did not have any chance lmao. had a friend though. thought we were solid but after graduating, we kinda lost touch.

eigth grade was eventful. had some friends, had some enemies (kind of) but it was still bland. had another crush and i had high hopes for this one. we hung out pretty often, even sat next to each other and it was cute and all. we treated each other with brownies and cookies and all those sweet stuff. idk if he was just being nice but it felt good. we talked to each other until the wee hours, sent each other memes, and jokingly called each other "mine." never really made anything official but he does know i like him because we were just joking around about crushes since he asked if me and another classmate were together. i told him "no, we're not" and he proceeded to name each male student and asked if i have a crush on them. he ran out of names so he said himself and i said yes. he said it was cool and i was half expecting us to be awkward but we weren't. we even hung out after classes to watch videos, just the two of us in the classroom. idk if what i've heard from the girls are true about him liking me back because apparently, the boys tease him too but again, our dynamic never evolved and we stopped talking after eigth grade.

more on eight grade, i had my first drama involvement about my two friends fighting. forgot what the context was but it led me to just stop talking to the two of them. also had my first group of friends that i thought had a chance at longevity but nah. there were four of us and the three are a lot closer than i was with them so i do feel left out sometimes. stopped talking to them after eighth grade too but kept in touch with one of them until mid ninth grade. also during that year, i felt like i was back in private school with how the rich and popular kids treated me. they were so nice to me at times but they talk behind my back. didn't hurt before but now that i remember it, it sucks ass.

ninth grade is when i met my friend group. real friend group this time. we started as four but then we grew to nine so it was fun. year end hang out happened but only two hung out - me and a friend. was still cool though, she's nice. tenth grade and we're still friends. we're like a big group made of smaller groups of friends so i am not all that close with the others but since we're all mutuals, we hung out. no crushes during ninth and tenth btw. anyway, pretty uneventful.

eleventh grade, we were all separated from each other so naturally, we all formed another group of friends but we still remained in contact. my first friend in seventh grade and i rekindled our friendship and befriended some others, one of them was my classmate in an elective so i know these people well enough. not the best friend group though, i have to admit. we hung out more than my ninth-tenth grade friends but i just don't feel like we are that close and we are more inclined to hanging out because of academics, which isn't all that surprising because i was placed in a class which is made up of students with high grades.

my friends during eleventh grade bled to senior year and same still goes. i was still friends with my earllier and bigger friend group. pretty unventful senior year. i didn't go to prom because i was (and still am) insecure and i have no money for that lmao. we graduated and kept in touch (again, aside from my first friend who we barely talk to now) but even so, i still feel like i don't belong.

looking at their posts, things they share over to our group chat, and the like, they have a way more eventful life than i will ever have. all the things i dreamed of doing, all the clothes i dreamed of wearing, all the body shapes i dreamed of having, they all have it while i'm still in my room, fat as fuck and unmotivated to lose weight despite having body dysmorphia, trying to be so different when really, i want to fit in, and being a depressed fuck. all of them have the same interests, both friend groups, that i don't have. they have different views on things compared to me (which is very valid, btw) but why do i feel invalidated and that my views are all wrong? why do the rest of my friends protect them and reason out their mental health and disabilities when i am the one who's hurt by their words? adding to that i am diagnosed with anxiety and depression and probably an undiagnosed bipolar disorder myself (i stopped talking to professionals because i can't afford it) why am i the one obligated to say sorry while they can barely reach out to me? i sound entitled but i genuinely want answers. i have told them from time to time to tell me what i did wrong but nothing ever comes up. i'm always the villain to them. the two friends that i have gotten a fight into have a separate group chat with another friend so i'm not surprised if they talk shit about me there.

i just don't feel like i fit in anywhere. i am insecure. i don't excel at anything. i am a villain. i... i don't know. god, even here where i just scream into the void about my three a.m. thoughts, i feel like i'm pathetic and seeking attention. maybe i am seeking attention. maybe that's all i want - for someone to hear me out and tell me i'm doing well, or tell me what i did wrong to improve myself, or tell me that what i'm feeling is valid. seriously should've continued therapy but it's expensive and again, i am not that talented in any field to do commissions and i don't wanna beg for people's money.

anyway, life is still shit. i am still shit. i feel shit. i look like shit. better days to come, i hope.

[genericpuff]

Real life transparency shit time. Tattooing has been rough lately. Between the ongoing economic crisis that makes it difficult for people to even have their basic needs met let alone get tattooed (we're apparently seeing a 10% increase in grocery costs... conveniently right as minimum wage was about to go up by 30 cents 😒) and the oversaturation of the tattooing market itself (so many scratchers who "taught themselves" how to tattoo because they heard it was "good money" are now ironically making it not good money by oversaturating the market, good for them /s) I'm struggling to see how I can make a consistent living again without having to go back into retail. Maybe that's way too big of an ask at this point but if I'm barely making a living now with my tattooing as it is then going into retail just means I'll be working more for less pay.

SO all that said, I'm totally gonna combat this problem by offering another luxury service that isn't a need at all LMAO I have a Toyhou.se page now! (thanks to an IRL artist pal who's currently in their famous era and is amazing at helping the rest of us get our shit together lol)

I'll be offering adoptables as well as possibly tattoo flash (meaning flash designs you can buy and take to an artist who's willing to do them) for people to purchase and use to their heart's delight <3 Note that I'll still be enforcing a soft rule of the "no LO stuff" over this page because I don't want to be profiting directly of Rekindled or LO's assets, however I'll still be offering character design sets with loads of colorful Rekindled-like designs, so you might just find something you like that scratches that itch! And then once you buy it, it's yours to use!

So yeah, if you have a Toyhouse, please consider subscribing to my page so you'll be notified of any designs that drop! You'll almost definitely catch me streaming the making of some of these designs as well <3 I have a lot brewing around in my head now that just needs to escape owo so I hope you all enjoy what's to come!

[genericpuff]

I always enjoyed reading LO, though as of late I've gotten more critical of it and aware of the flaws in storytelling, art, pacing, etc (one can still like trash while recognizing it's trash, I guess), and it's been super weird being the only one in my friend group who's not seeing it as this perfect flawless comic anymore. Your retelling so far has been super refreshing and a joy to read, the art and character design is recognizable yet distinct and great on its own (I LOVE YOUR DIONYSUS SO MUCH HOLY CRAP HE'S SO GOOD), and like... I'm interested in where things are going! It's fun reading this! I still do enjoy LO (maybe it's the sunk cost fallacy, idk), but I'm invested in your version so much more now. So thank you for your work, it's really great :)

I know the story is focused more on H&P than the mostly cast of side characters, but are there any other myths that might get revisited as well? Eros/Psyche, maybe Ariadne since Dio is here...?

Absolutely, I say it a lot when the topic of "LO stans vs. LO critics" comes up but none of the criticism is meant to be persuasive debating, while it can be frustrating to voice our criticisms and be met with "yeah well that's just your opinion", we're also not criticizing the comic purely to convince you that it's trash, we're legit just engaging with the comic in our own way. The best way any LO fan can react to it is either to acknowledge the criticisms and move on, or not go out actively seeking the criticism in the first place if it's something that bugs them. But in the end, no one is talking about the comic in this way as a means to strong arm people into riffing on LO, we'll still be talking about it way past everyone's bedtimes regardless of whether or not you chime in and/or agree. I think a lot of people who enjoy LO have a hard time separating those two things because they love the comic so much that any criticism is automatically flagged as "they're trying to make a hater out of me". And yeah, maybe we are a little bit (because it's fun to riff on this comic and the crit community has genuinely some of the nicest and funniest and most creative people I've ever met) but for the most part it's not our goal to make you hate the comic, we can't take your enjoyment of it away from you, even if you do recognize its flaws yourself. By all means, enjoy LO if you want to, we won't try and tell you not to! Just don't think that gives you permission to tell the critics to stop criticizing because that's a double standard we just ain't gonna stand for LMAO

All that aside, I'm glad you're enjoying Rekindled! As for the other stories, I'm trying to reel in Rekindled's plot to focus solely on H x P because I feel like that's what it should have stayed as. One of Rachel's biggest mistakes IMO was when she stated she "wanted to include as many myths as possible" because it's clear it's resulted in her prioritizing low effort Google-level lip service and Marvel-esque nostalgia referencing over telling an actual cohesive story. I'm taking a lot of the additional myths that Rachel tried to do in LO and leaving them on the cutting room floor, but when Rekindled is done, I'm hoping to pick up what was discarded and do them as little side stories after the fact. I feel like that's the best way to do it especially considering so many of the myths Rachel included didn't happen until after Hades and Persephone were married (including Eros and Psyche). I'd especially love to tackle Orpheus and Eurydice, it's one of my favorite myths :) Dio x Ariadne is also one I'm hoping to tackle, though that one I'll probably work more into Rekindled itself as Dio plays a huge role in Persephone's character arc, we'll see !