#so yeah ive been thinking about love lately

[willowrites]

𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 ✦ 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. where sam was there to help y/n when she had a rough day and resorted to unwinding in a not-so-healthy way.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. okay so i was just thinking for a sam golbach fic reader relapses (self harm) cuz their mind has been getting too much lately, and maybe sam helps them clean up and then helps take care of them and makes them feel loved nd just like lets them know that they don't need to do that because he's there from now on?? if that makes sense. also maybe not an established romantic relationship but maybe it ends up that way? like sam tells reader he doesn't know what he'd do with himself if anything happened to them he just cares a lot about them and yeah

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. ANGST ! third person pov, talks of self harm, relapsing, descriptive literature, friend!sam, friends to lovers.

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. if anybody needs anyone to talk to i’m here! 🤍 sorry this took so long to post & write! this one hit really personal for me but id okay to say ive healed & im continuing to heal from my past. if anyone is going through similar hardships, you can get through it! i believe, love, & support you always.

y/n told herself she wouldn’t put herself in this position again. she wouldn’t.. but sometimes things don’t go as planned.

she had tried to stay strong, to stop letting her mind control every action she took; it just became too much. she sat on the cold tile floor of her bathroom, tears making their way down her flushed face. she gripped the item as she took the first swipe, lightly but firm enough.

just stop. she told herself. her hand shook as she went to repeat the action. she looked at her skin i just need to feel something, she thought. something other than what im feeling now.

she had been doing so good but somehow found herself back at square one. all that work that she had done was all gone. she felt hopeless, as if this never ending black hole of despair would stay with her for the rest of her life.

she took a minute to think on her life and what could have went wrong to cause her to relapse. all those thoughts had no specific effect on relapsing, its just her brain had begun to spin a web that caused her to get stuck in her head all day. what else can i do? she thought as she took another swipe at her skin. she planned on continuing until she heard her bedroom door open.

her heart dropped to her ass. “y/n..?” the voice had confusion laced in their voice.

sam.

it was sam.

the blonde boy was one of the things that y/n had in her life that truly made her happy. he was her best friend. she never told him that but she truly meant that with every fiber of her being.

y/n quickly wiped her tears when she heard the footsteps come closer to the bathroom. wiping the tears would make the tear stains disappear but the thing about breaking down, you’re left with that struggle of trying to catch your breath.

she couldn’t stop gasping, trying to breathe calm and collectively. that’s why as sam stopped right beside the bathroom. he heard a small gasp escape her lips that caught his attention.

his eyebrows raised in confusion. he put his head beside the door trying to hear something else. “uh.. y/n? you in there?” he knocked. he received no answer. multiple questions and thoughts ran through his mind before he opened the door.

sam had seen many things in his life, traumatic even, but this — it was like his heart had jumped, dropped, did a tumble, and self destructed all in the span of 3 seconds. he instantly became nauseous at the sight of y/n holding a blade to her forearm. the small cuts that had caught his eye before she covered her arm and hid the blade had his blood run cold.!

the second y/n had been caught she felt guilty and embarrassed. she felt pathetic, like she wasn’t strong enough to handle the hard reality of the real world. immediately, she stood up and faced sam. “i-im sorry you weren’t supposed to see that.. it’s not what it looks like.” she sniffled trying to contain her tears. “i… it just, lately everything has been so crazy and i haven’t … i haven’t done this in a while but… but everything has just been… too much.” she rambled out, trying to explain herself.

sam’s face of confusion faltered. he thought about her words. the way she mentioned in a while had him wondering what caused her to relapse and fall back into this situation. he scanned her face. she’s too pure to be suffering like this. he paused thinking of what to say but truly all that he wanted to do was give her a hug. so that’s what he did.

he pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her protectively. she melted into his touch. her lip quivered as she wrapped her own arms around him. her body shook as more tears cascaded down her face.

sam felt his own eyes sting with tears. “i’m sorry.” he choked up. “i’m sorry you’ve been going through all of this alone.” he rested his cheek on her head closing his eyes trying to stay strong for her.

y/n hasn’t said anything, still feeling guilty. sam pulled away and looked down at the floor seeing the blade and a tissue beside it. he picked them up and threw both away.

he turned back to y/n who had a tired look on her face. “as long as i’m here nothing will hurt you, okay? i will be here for you. you can depend on me. you don’t need to do this anymore to yourself y/n, i won’t let you.” he took her face into his hands. “i promise, i love you and im always here for you no matter what.”

y/n’s heart raced as sam’s words really effected her. she nodded pursing her lips and biting her cheek.

he brought her head to his mouth and pressed a light kiss on her forehead. “i mean it y/n. i don’t know what i’d do with myself without you. you complete me.”

y/n’s eyes scanned sam’s face noticing how his own eyes began to water and become puffy. the scene before her causing her throat to close. “m’sorry i promise i wont do it anymore. i love you sam and… fuck — i know i shouldn’t be doing that. i just didn’t know what else to do.” she leaned against his chest.

“i know, i know baby but from now on you can talk to me about it. about anything. i care so much about you. you truly have no idea how much i…” he stopped himself not wanting to overwhelm her. “just know you mean the world to me. you are and have been my priority since we met and that’s never going to change.” the reassuring words causing y/n to relax.

y/n started to get inside her head, wondering what if he got tired of her, if he’d leave her, what she’d do or how she’d feel if that happened — or even worse; if she would be a burden to sam.

sam noticed y/n zoning out. “hey, tell me what you’re thinking please.” his hands reached down to grab her own.

she took a deep breath. c’mon y/n. she blinked a couple times trying to sort her thoughts. “don’t wanna be a burden to you.” she admitted to which sam immediately shook his head.

sam brought her hands to his mouth kissing her knuckles. “you could never ever be a burden to me. you keep me pushing through every day because i want to be the best for you. to be the best friend you deserve and… and whatever the future may hold for us — i want you there always, okay? don’t ever forget that.”

his words wavered through the air and stood there so you could process what he truly meant. you thought on it, picking up some hidden message that you’d both communicate about later but as of now, he truly helped you feel understood and seen. as long as you had him you’d feel physically, mentally, and emotionally secure and protected.

© willowrites

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[fear-no-mort]

slams fists down on beautifully crafted oak desk

[slutdge]

Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.

[possamble]

I think the most egregious case of "tagging a background f/f ship" is when the f/f ship is an established couple that spends most of their screentime trying to get the m/m or f/m ship together. They barely even flirt. Many such cases. :(

I know there are real problems I could get heated about but this one truly makes me want to book a rage room

[hecksupremechips]

The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules

[toastsnaffler]

ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....

[kit-katsuki]

ohhhb venting...

[pocket-ghostie]

Do you guys know I love Lilly? Do you know shes my specialist little gal and I love her?? Do you know shes baby and deserves the world???

[paintingformike]

its been months and i really am past the point of debating whether mike was intentionally lying in the monologue or not cause ultimately it just doesn’t really matter in the bigger picture and isn’t what we should be asking ourselves constantly...the whole point was the context in which it happened and how he was propelled into doing it. it would have never happened without will’s tiny little “you’re the heart” motivational push. it wouldn’t have happened without the crucial role of the painting or the van scene beforehand and that should be enough proof it was never meant to be viewed as a fully genuine expression of feelings lmfao

[louismygf]

Louis Birthday Tag Game 🎉

thank you @faithinlouisfuture for tagging me 😽😽😽🫶🏼 mwuah!

when did you become a louie?

i don't exactly know when bc i remember for the longest time denying to stan louis (or anyone for that matter) 😭 but late feb (completely missed the defenceless project bc i didn't have twitter then lol) to april of 2021 i think... february being like, oh this guy from one direction is neat i really like his music and april being, wow i have fallen in hell in love with louis tomlinson he is the only man ever

your earliest fandom memory?

WELL, on tumblr, i remember long hair louis with a guitar walking through an airport trended. immediately after he posted the rockstar pic (april 10) of him on instagram 🙏🏽 AND THEN, as a twitter user... this is so cursed but #iheartawards #louies #bestfanarmy 2021 😭 i think i once told myself i'd only keep up with louis on tumblr but not on twitter,, but because i already made a twitter account in april (solely for voting), it just stuck and thus, after iheart voting ended, my stan twitter account was born lol

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

i tend to pick two favorites so for walls it's fearless and only the brave and for fitf, all this time and lucky again

your favourite music video?

walls <3 and miss you when im feeling silly hehe

favourite gig?

ltwt manila 2022 😔😔😔😔😔😔🫶🏼 it meant the world to me 😭 louis was so happy and the crowd energy was so good. i don't know if anyone went live for my show but believe me when i say it was loudddd sksks louis was chatty and smiley and interactive and of course so so pretty. vocals were on point i could actually cry recalling the memories of him singing but Ugh it was 😔🫶🏼 those couple of hours were one of the best times of my life for real not even joking

favourite louis hair?

i love when louis' hair is on the longer side, live from london, walls hair or fitf but a bit longer, actual long hair louis Unstyled (now imagine how he'd look if it were styled), afhf hair of course like his hair in the documentary with him sitting and talking wearing his favorite black sabbath shirt And his hair wearing the iconic first ever 28op shirt. basically! long hair OR fluffy and messy <3

favourite louis interview?

the zach sang interviews and his interviews with olivia jones for total access

suit louis or tank top louis?

tank top 😋 but only by a tiny bit difference, he looks good in both!

favourite louis tattoo?

28! and the rogue + spiderweb is sick like the placement is v cool i think... tiny smiley on his thigh and duh the x smiley face too on his arm

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

big heart big brain big ass, the holy trinity. and actually also his hands,, and waist.... and. thighs yum...... and. ok im stopping here

thanks again for tagging me <3

[percyjacksonfan3]

Okay I will admit I was nervous going into Chalice of the Gods but I did love it

[gentil-minou]

Will you talk about Gabriel?? I think he’s gone crazy..

I wanted to! Especially now that I can finally watch Evolution without my ears bleeding I was planning on doing it but...

Tbh with all the leaks and spoilers, that I've been trying so hard to avoid, it just feels like it's not fun to analyze and theorize for the season. It's like what's the point when some folks saw the bible and know exactly what will happen? Where's the fun in making ridiculous theories? Or using an episode to predict what will happen later down the line?

And because of how visicious this fandom can be with spreading leaks and spoilers, I cant take the risk that I write something and then someone reblogs with major spoilers. Even now I have to proceed with caution on my dashboard and with reblogs for certain posts, or like even old ones. Even when I saw this ask in my notifs I was afraid someone had dropped a spoiler.

It stinks cause I do love the show and want to talk about it, but honestly I'd rather wait till the season ends to go and dive deep. At the end of the day I'm going to focus on the best fandom experience for me, and that might mean less ml posts from me for a bit

[red-dyed-sarumane]

it's overwhelming love & appreciation of kyuuyaku hankagai hours and by hours i mean its all im listening to for the next 3 days minimum

[princekirijo]

Man I've been so sleepy

[vonlipvig]

amy brookheimer is so 'woman who doesn't want kids but keeps obsessing about her biological clock' and i think that's so real of her tbh