#so yeah he’s enough to make straight men gay

[bbyboybucket]

Jensen Ackles is truly the blueprint. Hottest man alive. Changed 11 year old me’s brain chemistry.

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[m00npiez]

Modern Steddie AU

“Oh she’s cute.” Robin points over to a table near the bar.

Steve follows her finger and the blonde in the pink pleated skirt is, in fact, very cute. “You should go talk to her.”

Robin gives him a look, “Literally everything about her screams ‘straight’ so no thanks,” she takes a sip of her cocktail, “Don’t feel like getting humiliated today.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “I doubt she’d humiliate you but suit yourself.” He stands and fluffs up his hair a little, “If you won’t, I sure as hell will.”

Before his friend can protest, Steve’s strutting over to the girl’s table. She looks up at him when he stops and leans slightly against the chair opposite from hers.

“Hi!” she greets before he can say anything. Her whole face lights up as she smiles. She’s definitely cute, but not exactly what Steve had in mind for the night.

“Hey,” Steve flashes his own smile, “I was just telling my friend how cute you are and wanted to know if I could maybe buy you a drink?”

Her face goes pink, but her smile falters slightly and a small frown forms. “Oh that’s so nice of you, but I’m actually a lesbian,” she seems genuinely upset at having to break this news to him. “I’m really sorry, you seem lovely.”

Steve’s eyes widen slightly, but his smile remains, “Oh, god, sorry I should have asked,” he laughs, “That’s totally my bad.”

She shakes her head and leans forward in her seat, “Not at all, sweetheart!” there’s a slight southern accent slipping through and her smile is back. “You couldn’t have known, I know I don’t exactly look the part.”

“Well, since I’m already here,” Steve smirks, glancing over his shoulder to where he can see Robin watching the scene unfold. Her eyes snap away once she realizes he’s looking at her. “My friend over there is single and also extremely gay.”

Chrissy looks over and her smile turns coy, “Now she’s cute,” her eyes snap back to Steve. “She’s the one who told you to come over?”

“The opposite, actually. She thought you were straight so, I came over instead.” Steve explains.

Chrissy nods, glances over her shoulder and then stands. “Well, I’ll just have to go over there then.”

Steve smiles, “I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Chrissy.” The blonde extends her hand and Steve shakes it. “Thank you for letting me know the girl I’ve been eyeing is queer.”

Steve gives her a two-finger salute and goes to walk away, but she grabs his wrist to stop him.

“Do you like men, by any chance?” Chrissy asks, her smile alluding to something.

“Is it that obvious?” Steve laughs.

She gives him a once-over, “The tight shirt sort of gave you away.”

“Fair enough. Why do you ask?”

Chrissy points over to a curly-haired guy covered in tattoos, who’s ordering at the bar, “You should go talk to my friend, Eddie, he’s been blabbing about the hot jock in the polo since you walked in.”

Steve swallows, he’d seen the guy when they walked in, but hadn’t allowed himself to look. He was the kind of hot and scary Steve usually avoided due to their usual disdain for preppy guys like Steve. But surely if he kept Chrissy around, he couldn’t be all bad.

“I don’t exactly seem like his type.” Steve points out, giving Chrissy a nervous glance.

She laughs, “Oh please, pretty boy with big eyes and a great body? You’re everyone’s type.”

“Not yours.”

“Trust me honey, if you were a masc lesbian I’d be all over you right about now.” Chrissy winks and Steve can feel his face heating up.

“I don’t want to bother him…”

Chrissy rolls her eyes, “Just use the same line you used on me, he doesn’t bite.” she pauses, “Unless you ask really nicely.”

Yeah she isn’t exactly easing his nerves with these little jabs.

“He looks like he carries a knife.” Steve’s just stalling at this point.

“I know he seems kinda mean and scary, but he’s really just a big ol’ softie, trust me,” she pats his shoulder, picks up her drink and starts walking towards Robin, “Now I’ve got a pretty lady to talk to, so get! Go make a move on the scary metalhead, Steve!”

Steve watches her go, his amusement growing at the sight of Robin’s panic when Chrissy plops down at their table.

Mustering up the courage to walk to the bar, he turns but immediately bumps into someone. The person manages to steady their drink and somehow prevent Steve from falling on his ass, grabbing him around the waist.

“Shit sorry!” Steve finds his footing, only to nearly lose it again when he looks up to find his face a few inches away from the aforementioned friend of Chrissy’s.

Eddie smiles, squeezes Steve’s waist once before releasing him, “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.”

Steve’s face must have been bloodshot at that point. Two people had called him sweetheart within the span of a few minutes. At this rate his brain was going to malfunction entirely.

Eddie studies him for a second, his eyes twinkling, before looking over to the now unoccupied table. He frowns, looking around the bar.

“She’s over there.” Steve points to where the two girls are deep in conversation.

Eddie’s eyes look from Steve to Chrissy and back again. “Were you heading back there?”

“Uh, no, actually,” Steve clears his throat. Why was it so hot all of the sudden? “I was told to go talk to the scary metalhead?”

Eddie’s grin returned, showing off his dimples. Steve was allowing himself to stare at the man now, and god was he stunning.

“Scary? That’s rich coming from the girl who literally carries a knife with her.” Eddie sits down at the table and looks at Steve expectantly, “I don’t bite,” he gestures for him to sit, so he does.

“Apparently you do if I ask nicely,” Steve says, then feels his face heat up again when he hears what he said.

Eddie laughs, loud and beautiful, “God, she really knows how to play wingman, huh?”

[alchemistc]

43. undone if it speaks to you <3

Getting back to these because I have a lot of fleeting half ideas I need to get rid of to focus on the Cap Buck series. This once again got longer than I meant it to so happy new year.

It takes Eddie about half an hour to realize Buck and Tommy are actually having a drawn out argument, right here in public, instead of just bickering the way he's so used to.

It's...strange.

The thing is he's always seen Tommy with a lid on it - he projects a certain image in a public, and a slightly less restrained image in private, and Eddie is absolutely certain the Tommy he knew six months ago would have rather eaten a live scorpion than air his shit out in such a public setting.

He supposes six months into their second at bat and Tommy's a little less concerned about laying a bunt.

It's subtle, is the thing. Eddie has had screaming matches with Buck in very public places before, he knows the usual script. Emotional land mine after emotional land mine exposed to whoever's in hearing distance, no holds barred, knock down, drag out shit. It's probably why it takes him so long to notice, because this is some fucking terrible amalgamation of Buck and Tommy at their worst and he is not a fan.

Hen goes to get another round with a raised brow in Eddie's direction that means she's definitely noticed too and will be taking her damn time getting back.

Chim's too busy staring all moony-eyed at a ready-to-pop Maddie absolutely killing her karaoke song to care when Tommy grimaces and rolls his jaw while Buck whispers something Eddie doesn't quite catch.

Eddie takes a drink. Then another.

He's down to the ice in his rocks glass.

"You aren't seriously trying to argue that projected stats have more weight than a full career, are you?" Tommy asks, and Eddie sort of wants to hit them both, because what? What? This whole thing started when a song reminded Buck that Tommy had once implied he didn't have enough gay experience to really love Tommy. Or. That was the gist, according to Buck. Famously not a reliable narrator in high emotion moments, but Tommy's never outright denied it, to Eddie's knowledge.

"I'm just saying, Gretzky's goal record is gone, so how can you say people with a decade of play left in them can't be in the conversation to surpass him? Statistically -."

Tommy's eyes glint. He looks mad.

When he stands from his seat, Buck throws both arms in the air. "Yeah, walk away," he spits, and Tommy, two steps towards the restroom already, spins on his heel with clenched fists.

Eddie has a sudden, clarifying memory of Buck reading off the statistics for couples who make it past the first six months. First year. First two, and five. Statistics for couples who took a break. Statistics for gay men, specifically, when he realized his sample size was skewed too straight.

Jesus Christ, he'd rattled those off to Tommy, too.

"I'm not subjecting Eddie to the shit I have to say to you right now, Evan," Tommy says, jaw clenched, hands digging into his pockets. He rocks back on his heels, tension fucking rolling off of him.

Buck stands too. Makes a sweeping gesture that seems to piss Tommy off more, and then they're both disappearing into the crowd.

Hen sets a new drink down in front of Eddie twenty seconds later.

"Thank you for leaving me to witness that by myself," Eddie manages, with a wry twist to his smile, and Hen grins back.

"Their foreplay sure has kicked it up a notch," she says, and Maddie crinkles her nose as she drops back into the booth beside Chim.

"If Jee hadn't been there they'd have screwed in my bathroom last week, I just know it."

Eddie shakes his head between them. "They - you guys know they were fighting, right?"

Maddie raises a brow at him like he's cute. Like a cute confused little puppy. Oh he hates that.

"Tommy deciding one of them dying was the only way they'd be free of each other has opened up a whole new world of ways for Buck to get his rocks off," Hen intones, like it's obvious. "This is just their flirty bickering turned up to eleven."

Eddie takes about twelve minutes to digest that - just long enough for Hen and Chim to get a duet in, long enough for him to drain another drink, long enough for Maddie to decide the baby's officially tapped out for the night, long enough for Chim to grab their jackets and toss a few bills on the table before he's herding his wife out the door.

Tommy rounds the corner and settles back into his seat looking decidedly more relaxed. There's at least one less button hooked on the flannel he's been wearing all night. It takes Eddie a second to register that his face is a little dewy, like he'd recently splashed water on it.

Hen makes a face a second before Eddie gets it.

"Oh come on, man."

Tommy's lips twist into a grin, and he yelps when Hen kicks out at him under the table. "Low hanging fruit, Kinard."

"I mean, one of us did," Tommy manages with a shrug, and only winces at the second kick.

Buck slides in next to him with a fresh beer for each of them and slaps a hand high on Tommy's thigh. Possessive. Still clearly a little riled.

"Yep, I'm out," Hen murmurs, and Eddie scrambles after her.

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 5: Rimming

Choi Soobin x male reader

This guy

Stuff: Rimming DUH, some balls licking, you and Soobin are friends.

Word Count: 969

Notes: Happy birthday Soobin, please feel better soon

Soobin is like your best friend. You two get along incredibly well together and whenever you're around him it's always a good time, this hangout is just 'extra' special.

Right now, you both are just lying on your bed chilling. Having casual conversation while he's cuddled up to you all snuggled in, his head resting on your chest while you absentmindedly run your hand through his hair as you watch the TV. Friends stuff, dude boy shit.

"I'm kind of bored." He expressed into your chest, making his deep voice come out as groggy.

"Oh? What else would you rather do? Wait, don't answer that, you'll probably say something like blow me or rim me." You said jokingly, you guys did make an awful lot of sex jokes to each other. For two openly gay men who aren't actually dating to do this is... a little odd.

"Rimming you say..." He responds, jokingly putting his finger under his chin, as if he's actually considering it. Which he's not... right?

"Don't get any ideas Soo, I know my pussy is the bomb, but it'd ruin our friendship." You scolded him.

He takes his head off your chest and stands straight up, looking you dead in the eye.

"Come on Y/n... we're both attractive, both gay, both sexually active, and you have an ass that I've been wanting to dive into since the day I met you." He told you, his tone completely sincere, but he can't actually be considering this, can he? This bitch.

"Well yeah... but-" Before you can finish, Soobin cuts you off with a kiss, one that though unexpected, you instantly melt into and kiss him back.

You put your hand in the back of his head to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Soobin rests his tongue directly on your lip, begging for entrance, which of course you offer. Man... you're kind of easy.

You moan into his mouth as his tongue meets yours, sliding and clashing with yours until he comes out victorious. The kiss is incredibly overwhelming, and it leaves you to pull back to catch your breath, thoughts, and sanity.

"No, don't pull away..." He said all whiny, giving you a pouty face with his bottom lip quivering, but his smile returns once he remembers the subject you two were discussing before the kiss.

"You can't just kiss me like that! I mean it was really good but still!" You loudly told him, your face in a deep blush and completely flushed from his kiss.

"Yeah yeah yeah, Can I rim you now?" He asked casually, totally ignoring your little rant at him.

You just sigh, realizing how much him, and you, both want this. So, you simply respond with a defeated but also excited, "Fine..."

Soobin goes right to work, manhandling you into place on your hands and knees and pulling your pants and underwear down to reveal your puckered hole to him.

The speed in which he does this is enough to give you whiplash, but you go along with it. Afterall, having a man with lips as good as his to eat your ass isn't exactly undesirable.

Once your pants are off and your hole is winking up at him, he dives right into it, taking a long lick along your ass, doing this multiple times until your crack is completely wet with his saliva.

"Fuck, it's already delicious." He said breathlessly.

Once Soobin has done that, takes a few more long licks with his tongue but this time, he gets your balls in there. Licking all the way from your balls to the top of your crack, giving them a little suck from here to there.

He assumes you're ready enough, so he goes right in, diving his tongue into your anus.

You let out a shrieked moan, which he responds with a little chuckle while his tongue is buried in your asshole, sending the most delightful shiver of pleasure to run up your spine.

He licks the hole, inserting his tongue in and out with every stroke of his tongue. He enjoys pleasuring you but it's also clear that he just really loves eating your ass. The way his tongue almost adoringly inserts itself inside you is absolutely orgasm worthy.

"You're so fucking delicious Y/n, new favorite meal." He let out into your ass, the vibrations sending more delightful shivers.

He inserts his hole tongue inside you, pushing the wet muscle in and out of your asshole, making your moan in what can only be described as, like a fucking homo.

Thank god you've rushed because this bitch is getting IN there. Soobin is fucking you with his tongue in the best way. He clearly knows and enjoys what he's doing, which you can tell from the way he moans into your asshole.

He pushes his tongue in and out faster, making your moans louder and your cock leak even more onto the bed. His hands tightly grip your ass cheeks, pulling your asshole even closer to his face, allowing his tongue to reach unfound heights, also allowing your moans to reach unfound decibels.

"Fuck Soo! I'm so close!" You moan out loudly. Soobin simply responds by doubling his efforts, somehow pushing his tongue in even deeper, even lightly touching your prostate.

That's more than enough to make you ejaculate all over the bed, shooting your cum and near covering the sheets. Soobin tongue fucks you through it until you're finally spent.

You collapse on the bed, none of your body being able to work after such a heart stopping orgasm. Soobin laughs lightly as he wraps his arms around you, cuddling you from behind.

"You eat ass like a pro." You started breathlessly.

"It's hard not to when an ass tastes as good as yours."

THE END

[leashybebes]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

tommy must live in a perpetual state of confusion over buck

do you think the longer buck allies the more tommy realises that "oh, he really is like this but he's definitely some flavor of queer"? because i see tommy maybe gently testing buck's jealousy to see what it'll take to make him break

oooookay once again this is not a snippet (sorryyyyy) but is more me attempting to understand wtf is going on in tommy's head throughout all this that he keeps "sure, okay"-ing himself into ridiculous situations with buck, so apologies for just unloading the contents of my brain on you

there are a few things i've been chewing on in terms of figuring out how tommy reacts to the buck of it all, which i hope will make it make sense that i actually don't think tommy pushing or testing for jealousy is on the cards in this fic (although i do love the idea!)

so first of all, this is a younger tommy than we've seen interact with buck in canon (of course), so whatever happened to make him Like That in the breakup hasn't happened yet (and won't, because i am a slut for a HEA). he's newly out and in my experience, a lot of newly out people, particularly people who are a bit older have something of a second adolescence. so yeah while this means he's incredibly horny (horny enough to let a self-proclaimed straight guy give him the absolute best sex of his life) it also means he just wants to have fun!! and buck is SO. MUCH. FUN. he's spent so long so tightly controlled that he's trying really hard to just go with the flow.

second, when i say newly out tommy, i mean newly out. like, it's one thing to "stop lying about who i am" - to me, there's a non-zero chance that just means "stop making up girlfriends" rather than "actually grapple with the life-long process of coming out (again and again and again)". so in my head (and it might come up in the fic, idk yet) the scene early on where he tells buck he doesn't want the cute girl's number because he's gay is probably one of the first times he actually said the words out loud. which ties into...

third, we know tommy was work friends with sal (at least and again, don't know that it'll come up in the fic but for the record, he 100% had a monstrous crush on him, like it made him ILL how much he wanted sal, i will hear no arguments), and that he developed good - again, work-based - friendships with hen and chim, but i feel like for a deeply closeted guy under dadt with a shitty childhood buck might be his first actual friend who knows all of him and likes him. spends time with him. doesn't care that he's gay. actively supports his gayness. doesn't recoil and in fact actively encourages tommy to talk about it. so i think tommy is just...deeply, deeply grateful for this confusing train wreck of a man

fourth, while i think there are definitely times that tommy thinks "he...he's flirting with me, right? is something gonna happen here?" this is a guy who has spent his entire adult life not looking at that kinda thing. not letting himself wonder if a guy (particularly a friend) is into him. or really, even if he's into them. he's really, really good at compartmentalising, and buck's pretty insistent that he's straight, so tommy's taking that at face value. hey, buck makes compelling arguments ("tommy, straight men have prostates too!")

aaaaand there we have the contents of my brain as it relates to one tommy kinard. even in my own incredibly stupid AUs, i am frankly obsessed. i want to gnaw on him. i'll settle for having buck do it instead.

[angellwingss]

Wasn’t going to go on a big rant but you know what since that other post is gaining traction yeah I think I will. So big long rant under the cut. Lolll

I feel like. A lot of people might tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ but to me it is that deep.

I don’t have a problem with JayVik or it’s shippers like. At all. I just think some of them are à really good demonstration of like. Every bad thing when it comes to fandom ever LMAO.

Once again I am (supposed to be) writing a whole big long essay about this already so I will try and keep this kind of short and sweet and it might be a bit lacking but wtvr.

I think a lot of JayVik fans tend to be white queer people. Someone left a tag on my OG post that said basically ‘my take is I’m a faggot and I don’t have to care about a character if I don’t want to’ and no hate to that person cuz you’re right, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that made me make that first post.

I feel like a lot of white queer people have an issue with seeing outside their own identity? If that makes sense? This is seen time and time again with the way some of them behave when big movements happen online, some have a tendency to centre themselves and whatnot so i think it’s kind of the same thing.

It makes total sense that a queer person would prefer queer ships and would prefer JayVik over MelJay, that is not a crime. But I do think part of that is because they can’t relate/identify with Mel or see themselves in her like they can with Jayce or Viktor.

I hate to also make it about feminism but i think a lot of you guys are super like. Male centred, like just in your attraction which once again, not the issue not a crime. But i think it’s also why CaitVi, which is a canon queer ship, although popular is still not quite as popular as JayVik despite being canon. Women fetishizing gay men in fandom is not something new, which I think might play a small part in it- I’ve seen a lot of people especially back in s1 infantilizing Viktor and acting like he had no agency or independence and that he NEEDS Jayce to take care of him (that’s another thing. Ableism(looks at you with my eyes)) and they also do the same thing with Jayce where they act like he had 0 agency with any decisions he makes and that he’s like a big dumb baby who doesn’t know anything politics. Hey, guys. That’s a grown man.

My main issue isn’t that people prefer JayVik over MelJay it’s just that some shippers demonize Mel to an insane degree, blame her for getting in the way of their ship (this is also happening right now with Maddie- there’s a leak going around saying that she gets with Caitlyn and people are so upset that this character is getting some INSANE hate and I feel like that’s the same thing going on.)

they blame her for ‘stealing’ Jayce etc etc like. Idk. You don’t have to ship MelJay but I wish more people would appreciate Mel just as a character- imo she is super interesting and has a great story but she’s only ever seen and ‘the other woman’. I’ve seen people say she isn’t like, well characterized and that her story entirely revolves around Jayce which. Yeah she’s definitely heavily involved with him in s1 but she’s clearly got a lot more going on than just that and you would know that if you GAF 🗣️🗣️

for just being. Who she is. I think Mel deserves more attention just in the fandom and it’s just frustrating. People making memes about Jayce going insane over Viktor leaving but like. Mel also just got fucking kidnapped guys. His lover has just vanished without a trace why is nobody also talking about that !!!! Why can’t he care about both these people at the same time !!!!!!!

Anyway I’m not nearly well equipped enough to talk more in-depth about like. Any of this but I do think the demonization of Mel and refusal to see her relationship with Jayce as it is can often times be boiled down to racism like straight up. And also things like the fetishization of gay men in fandom and just things like that are sometimes what can lead to female characters- even the well written ones to be shelved and pushed aside in favour of their male counterparts.

Obligatory ‘not all JayVik fans’ obviously a lot of you are awesome, shouldn’t have to say this. If I’m not aiming for you, you shouldn’t be getting shot.

[competitivemen]

David really didn't like being assigned to go on so many jobs with his coworker, Keith, and he thought that the feeling was mutual. While David tried to get along with him, Keith did not make it easy. David being new in the job meant that he was often unsure of how to complete a task, and he didn't respond well to Keith's teaching style of forcing him to try it until he got it right. When he refused to out of fear of messing up, he'd be called lazy.

The social side was also a problem. Keith and the rest of their colleagues would often banter about and make crude jokes that David was too reserved to even think about making. It made David uncomfortable when they joked about how sweaty their balls were after a day's work or talked about how much they needed a good wank. Keith was definitely the most crass and boisterous of David's colleges who made most of these sort of jokes and was also the one who directed them at David the most often.

It didn't help that David seemed to be the only gay guy Keith knew. It meant that David had a constant barrage of gay jokes directed towards him. He was frankly tired of Keith's taunts, such as Keith jokingly grabbing his own crotch while asking David if he's ever thought about sucking straight dick or showing off his sweaty armpits and mockingly asking David if sniffing hairy men is the sort of thing gay guys are into.

What made it really hard for David to ignore was that he was secretly desperate to do all those things. He had to put all his effort into suppressing his reaction to Keith's barbs. He'd never live it down if he got a hard on in the middle of the work day. It certainly wouldn't lessen Keith's jokes.

It all came to a head when, once again, David and Keith were alone on a job. David was trying to focus on the task at hand, but he was being distracted by Keith's builders bum that was really showing off his hairy arse. David had to fight the urge to give it a sniff.

He must have been staring at it for too long because he was suddenly brought out of his fantasising by Keith's yell. "Oi, earth to planet Fag! Stop drooling over my arse and get the tools." He barked, having caught David red-handed.

David tried to get out a few unconvincing denials while turning as red as a tomato, but Keith wasn't having any of it. "Stop sputtering like a car engine; you're fooling no one. Now get the tools! If you're quick about it, I'll let you have a lick, ha!" He said it with a mocking grin before turning back to the job.

It took a moment for Keith's words to fully register in David's frazzled brain. When they finally did, he was off like a shot, getting the tools and bringing them to Keith in record time. As he placed the tools down beside Keith, he shifted nervously before finally building up the courage to speak. "W-was I quick enough?"

Not taking his eyes off his work, Keith let out a derisive laugh. "Yeah, knock yourself out." He said, rolling his eyes at what he thought was his colleagues' poor attempt at leaning into the joke.

Except David was anything but joking. As soon as he was given the supposed go-ahead, he crouched down to just behind his colleague's exposed bum. He didn't pause as his hands reached for Keith's waistband, and in one swift movement, he tugged the pants down, fully exposing Keith's hairy arse.

Before Keith could do more than let out a surprised yell, David had shoved his face right in between Keith's arse cheeks. He did so with enough force that it caused Keith to topple forward. Keith let out a pained grunt as he was forced to drop his tools and put his hands out in order to arrest his fall.

His face now firmly planted where he wanted it, David greedily sniffed up the smell of sweat and musk from the hairy arse crack that his nose was logged in. Finally, he was getting to smell the scents he'd only been able to fantasise about before. The aromas caused him to gasp in pleasure. Due to his position, he opened his mouth directly onto Keith's puckered hole.

The sensation of lips brushing against and air being blown across his backdoor finally brought Keith enough out of shock to be able to form words again. "Fucking hell! I was joking. You sick fuck." He grunted as he tried to move his arse away, but to little success.

David flushed red, but he didn't remove himself from Keith's arse. Instead, he opened his mouth again and tentatively stuck his tongue out to poke at Keith's hole. "I'm sorry." He said before again, licking Keith's puckered hole. "I'm not very good with jokes." Another lick. "Let me make it up to you." He said before puckering his lips and giving Keith's hole a sloppy wet kiss.

Keith had to stop himself from moaning as David peppered his back entrance with licks and kisses. David's tongue was driving him mad with its constant teasing flicks. Finally, it grew too much. Keith stopped trying to pull away and began shoving his ass backwards into David's face. But still, David would only tease the entrance to Keith's arse.

With a cry of frustration, Keith demanded more. "For fucks sake. If you're going to be an arse lickings slut, at least fucking commit to it! Stick your tongue up there, bitch!" He growled.

David didn't need to be told twice. He vigorously began working his tongue into Keith's tight hole. Keith gave up on suppressing his moans as he felt David's tongue worming its way into him.

Soon, David had breached Keith's ring and was aggressively thrusting his tongue as far up Keith's ass as he could go. "Fuck yesss. Eat my fucking hole." Keith groaned as he was eaten out.

David lost himself in the trance of making out with his colleague's asshole. He didn't know how long he'd been at it, and he didn't care. His world had reduced down to worshipping the hairy hole in front of him. 

Suddenly, David's face was forced back, his tongue slipping out of Keith's hole with an audible slurp. Whining at the loss of being able to touch the object of his devotion, David tried to shove his face back into Keith's arse, but Keith's strong arms kept him at bay.

Keith had shoved David away so that he could flip over, shoving his pants completely down to his ankles as he did. Now Keith was lying on his back, his rock-hard cock standing tall between him and David. It was a thick and hairy member, and David gulped at the thought of having to take it inside of him.

"Fuck, your tongues really got me going. You're a world-class arse licker. Now, open up; let's see if your throat is just as talented." Keith said as he shuffled himself towards David until his cock was pressed against David's lips, looking for entry.

But David was apprehensive; he'd never taken a cock as big as Keith's before and was worried about gagging on it. He made his reservations clear. "I don't think I can take you." He said, sending a pleading look at Keith's face, past his twitching cock.

With a growl, Keith slapped David's face with his hard cock. "Fucking, work shy, cunt. At least try taking it." He said, both his voice and face showing his clear contempt for David's reluctance.

Recovering from being cock slapped and trying not to think about the pre-cum now splattered across his cheek or the hard cock in front of him, David was still resistant. "I can't. Look, why don't we just forget about this for now and get back to the job? I kno-"

David was cut off when Keith grabbed his head and forced it downwards, impaling his rock-hard cock into David's mouth.

"You fucking tease. Do you really think you can snog my ass and then cut me off before taking my load? I don't fucking think so." Snarled Keith as he rammed David's head down his cock, forcing his cock past David's mouth and into his throat.

David started gagging on the cock that was now stretching his throat. He tried to push himself off, but Keith kept his head firmly in place, meaning his spasming throat did nothing but massage the cock lodged in it.

Keith groaned at the sensation and began bobbing David's head up and down his shaft, treating David's throat more like a fleshlight than a coworker.

Keith set a brutal pace at which he drilled into David's mouth. David had to use every brief rise to the tip of Keith's cock to gasp for as much air as he could before he was inevitably slammed back down. He was worried he'd pass out. That didn't slow Keith down one bit.

"Yes, take my cock. Your throat is so fucking tight. Fuck." Rambled Keith as he bounced David's head up and down his cock. 

David's eyes became unfocused as his mouth was fucked. He could hardly think as his throat was stretched open, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold out on snatched breaths for much longer. Knowing he couldn't stop Keith from using him to get off, his only option was to get Keith to cum as quickly as possible.

In his current predicament, there were only two ways he could think of to speed along Keith's orgasm.

First, he forced his throat to relax and stopped resisting Keith's manhandling off his head. He tried as best as he could to act as the cocksleave that Keith was using him as. Feeling David's resistance stop, Keith hissed his approval and picked up the pace of his thrusts.

Secondly, his hands now free from trying to push himself off Keith's cock, David wrapped his hands around Keith's hairy arse and began working his fingers into the sweaty ass crack, trying to locate Keith's puckered hole. When he found it, it was still wet with spit from David's earlier tongue-fucking. As such, he met minimal resistance as he stabbed his fingers into Keith's back door.

Keith howled as his backdoor was invaded. Trying to escape the sensation, he trusted his hips forward and up into the air. He'd been bringing David's head down onto his cock at that same moment, resulting in him burying himself right to the base inside of David's mouth and throat.

David struggled to take it all and not lose focus of what his fingers were doing as he found his face pressed against Keith's pubes. He couldn't help but get a whiff of Keith's musky scent. His eyes began to water, both from the smell as well as the cock restricting the flow of air down his throat.

Regaining focus, he frantically wiggled his fingers around the inside of Keith's arse, trying to find Keith's prostate. As he searched, Keith body rythed about, forcing his hips up and down and his cock in and out of David's mouth.

Finally, David's fingers found their mark. It was too much for Keith to handle. With a roar, Keith buried himself to the hilt and sprayed his load down David's throat, who had to frantically gulp down as much of Keith's massive load as he could to prevent himself from choking on it.

Once Keith's balls were fully drained, he at last released his hold of David's head, allowing David to withdraw enough to take a full breath. As he did, cum sprayed out of his mouth, covering his lips, chin, and clothing, making him look more like a used sex toy than a person. A look only enhanced by David's stained crotch, which he'd saturated with his own load while he'd been gagging on Keith's cock.

They both collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. Keith was the first to recover enough to be able to speak. "Fuck, I needed that. Now that I've broken you in, you'll be going on a lot more jobs with me. Now get yourself cleaned up; we've got a job to finish, and we're running behind because of you." He said as he pulled up his pants and turned back to the job.

David found going onto jobs with Keith to be a lot more pleasant after that. Whenever he didn't get something, Keith was now more than willing to drill him on it until he got it. David's much more repetitive attitude and willingness to give things a try made the process much more pleasant for Keith as well. David was happy to learn all the tricks of the trade at Keith's knee while being down on his own.

He also felt much more comfortable socially. Keith and his other coworkers' jibes didn't bother him anymore. When they called him a cocksucking cum dump, David could laugh right along with them. It was true after all. David felt much more like he was a part of the team now that they were regularly giving him their loads. 

[themultifanshipper]

lawsunoda smut plz

Even back in the junior series, Liam knew he wasn't completely straight.

He couldn't explore much though because of how it might put his career in jeopardy. But now he was in F1, and his attraction to men was becoming a serious problem.

Warnings: top yuki, both of them being absolute idiots, wet dreams and cold showers galore, coming in pants (TWICE), tension, Liam being so far in the closet his gaydar is broken, handjobs, blowjobs, first time getting fucked, cum eating, the pacing is atrocious but if I look at this anymore I will have a breakdown

Growing up, he'd often see his friends almost naked and find them just as (if not more) appealing than women.

He'd had silly crushes, and wet dreams, and even some wank-bank worthy fantasies that had kept him occupied on lonely nights, but nothing more than that.

And in this field it was imperative to keep this kind of thing a secret, in case someone got the idea of outing you to ruin your career.

He didn't dare try and find hookups or anything of that sort in case it got out.

So that part of him stayed well hidden.

He even got a girlfriend, who he liked very much, but it certainly had the added bonus of eliminating any suspicion.

Until Daniel Ricciardo broke his hand and he was promoted to full time Formula 1 driver.

George Russell, the head of the GPDA, took one look at him and said “If anyone gives you any trouble about being gay, you come to me. I don't tolerate any workplace discrimination against my fellow drivers”

Liam thanked him, but assured him he had a girlfriend, to which George just chuckled and replied:

“Yeah, we all have girlfriends mate”

He winked at him conspiratorially and walked off , leaving Liam red-faced and sweating at the implications.

Yuki was a pleasure to be around. He was a bit flirty, sometimes bordering on pushy, but he was nice outside of racing and they got along better than most teammates did.

They'd known each other a long time, being in RedBull's junior program and being roommates back in Milton Keynes before Yuki had moved to Italy.

Yuki knew about his… preferences, because on more than one occasion they'd gotten drunk and talked for hours about all sorts of things while under the influence of good booze and good pizza, in the safe space of their apartment.

But they never mentioned it otherwise, and Liam wasn't even sure Yuki remembered those conversations because he was a massive lightweight and was always incredibly hungover the next day.

That didn't change the fact that when Liam became his teammate, Yuki’s old crush came back in full force, and he followed him around like a lost puppy and tried to rile him up 24/7.

Liam soon realised, that Yuki flirted a lot more with him than any of the other drivers did with each other.

Hell the Ferrari drivers were bad enough, but Yuki took it to a whole new level.

It wasn't outright “I like you, I want to fuck” kind of flirting.

 It was more, “poke me and I'll poke you back until we wrestle and inevitably violently make out” kind of flirting.

Which was objectively worse for Liam because like any man, he wasn’t sure if Yuki was genuinely interested or if he was making up the whole thing in his head.

And if there's one thing more terrifying than being outed by a rival, it's being rejected and then outed by a friend.

The teasing continued throughout the season, Yuki getting bolder with every move.

Yuki had been pretty liberal for most of his life, never taking himself too seriously.

He wasn't exactly out, but most of the grid knew he liked to fool around with just about anyone, and he’d had a few male lovers so far.

None of them were as captivating as Liam though.

Liam hadn't got the memo however, because no matter how hard Yuki tried, he couldn't seem to get his intentions across to him.

Every time he tried to initiate his equivalent of gay chicken, (roasting Liam until he hopefully shut him up by kissing him), Liam would just laugh it off as friendly banter.

Yuki was going to have to try a different tactic. Perhaps a more direct approach would do the trick.

The opportunity arose in the form of a bad romcom trope coming to life.

The hotel they were staying in for the Vegas GP had got the reservation wrong.

Either that or the team had purposely booked a double room to cut on expenses.

It didn't matter because either way, Liam and Yuki were going to be sharing a bed for the next few nights.

That was fine. It was all fine.

Liam was a bit nervous but Yuki was secretly thanking the universe for this opportunity.

“No matter what happens, you can't fall in love with me” Liam said teasingly in front of the poor receptionist, who had just broken the news to them and handed them a singular key, but Yuki just smirked at him.

“Too late” he snatched the key from Liam's hand “I already jerk off every night thinking about you”

Liam choked on his spit as he followed him, quickly apologizing to the woman for Yuki's joke before scurrying away in embarrassment.

“Yuki you can't just say that!” His face looked like it had been painted rosso corsa as they crossed the threshold of their room.

“Why? It's true” Yuki laughed humourlessly.

Liam didn't pick up on it though, chuckling to himself as he nervously muttered Jesus Christ under his breath.

They shuffled around the room, pulling stuff out of their suitcases, taking turns showering, and ordering room service for dinner.

“Practice is going to be chaos tomorrow I reckon” Liam said as he chewed on a barely seasoned piece of chicken from his diet-compliant meal.

Yuki hummed in agreement, this was Vegas, the entertainment capital of the world after all.

“Who do you think is most likely to get married in the chapel?” Yuki asked after a few minutes silence.

“I don't know… maybe Lando and Oscar? But they're so shy around each other they'd have to be black out drunk” he laughed and Yuki giggled.

“Definitely, but I think Charles and Max are the ones that need it the most. They both have too many sticks up their asses”

They joked comfortably for a bit and for a while it felt like they were roommates again.

They got ready for bed, both quite tired from their day of travelling.

Yuki was just in a pair of boxers and Liam froze, staring at the extremely fit man in front of him.

He was obviously a lot more jacked than in their junior days, but Liam was taken by surprise at just how fucking thick the man was.

His arms… his chest… his thighs…

Yuki caught him staring and wrongly assumed it was because he was uncomfortable.

“Sorry… I always sleep in just boxers, is that okay?”

It was unreasonable to expect Liam to remember Yuki's sleeping habits from several years ago, but he still felt like a moron as his eyes roamed across the other man's body.

“Yeah, totally cool I'd just… forgotten. You know since… when we lived together… we had separate beds and stuff…” Liam gulped and pulled his own shirt off to avoid saying anything even more embarrassing.

Yuki laughed. “Yes, usually people sleep together before moving in with each other but…”  he winked and slid under the covers, sinking into the mattress and yawning.

“Yeah…” Liam's voice cracked and he followed suit, leaving as much space between their bodies as possible while facing away from the other man.

“Night Yuki” he said quickly, turning the lamp off on his bedside table.

“Goodnight Liam” Yuki sighed, doing the same and falling asleep within about a minute.

Liam just lay there, waiting for sleep to take him, as his mind wandered back to Yuki's body.

He could feel his body heat despite the space between them.

He thought about how Yuki had changed so much since their junior days.

Not just physically, he was a lot more confident, more assertive and more outgoing despite his rather shy nature.

He was also funny and hot, and really one of the best friends Liam had at the moment. Certainly the one he'd known the longest.

He managed to fall asleep sometime around 3, and his dreams consisted of short, jacked, faceless men doing all sorts of things to his body.

The person seemed so familiar, yet so unknown as his hands trailed down his back.

One minute he was on all fours, getting railed, the next he was on top, kissing down a toned pair of pecs as his hips slapped against hairy thighs wrapped around his waist.

Despite never having been with a man, it all seemed so incredibly real and natural to him, as if his subconscious was trying to tell him this was what he was craving.

Then suddenly he was on his knees, a pair of hands tangled in his hair holding his head still as the man forced his cock down Liam's throat. He drooled around it, greedily slurping at it like a slut.

“Fuck Liam, your mouth is so good”

The voice was far away and sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't pay it any mind, he was concentrating on the task at hand: letting this man use him for his pleasure.

He couldn't breathe, head swimming as his throat was abused over and over, swallowing every last drop of the mystery man's cum.

He woke with a start.

The bed next to him was empty and the sun was barely rising, so the room was still mostly in darkness.

He checked the time… 5:29?

They didn't need to be in the paddock before 11… so why was Yuki in the bathroom taking a shower this fucking early?

Before he could ask himself too many questions he realised that he felt damp.

Not like, sweaty damp, more like a hormonal teenager that's just come in his fucking boxers damp.

He slid a hand into his underwear to check and… yep.

That must have been what woke him up.

And another startling realisation hit.

The dream he was having was very fuzzy, but there was no mistaking the voice of Yuki Tsunoda moaning his name as he fucked his mouth.

So he'd just come in his pants from dreaming about his friend fucking his throat…

He jumped out of bed just as the sound of the shower being turned off hit his ears.

Ripping his soiled underwear off as quickly as he could, and making use of his limited time to clean himself up as best he could, he raced against the clock to try and get another pair of underwear on before Yuki came out.

Luckily he managed it, and he greeted his teammate just as he turned around to see the door of the bathroom open to reveal a dripping wet Yuki with a towel loosely wrapped around his hips.

Liam went in the bathroom after him, feigning needing a piss just to get out of the awkwardness and avoid staring at his teammates dripping body for longer than was strictly appropriate.

The first thing he noticed was that there were none of Yuki's many products in the bathroom.

No shampoo, no body wash… so he'd just got himself wet?

The other thing was a lack of steam and condensation in the small tiled room.

Yuki had had a cold shower.

Liam knew very well that Yuki hated cold showers with a passion.

Unfortunately it was nearly 6 in the morning and his brain was too tired to make any kind of deduction so he did actually end up having a piss then went back to bed and fell almost straight back asleep.

Yuki however could not.

Over on his side of the bed the mood was more one of mild panic.

Yuki had taken a cold shower in the hopes of getting rid of his erection, caused by Liam, who had been moaning in his sleep and grinding his hips into the bed until he came, moaning Yuki's name.

Liam had seemed so uninterested by Yuki's advances that the man was unsure what to make of the situation and his mind raced until it was time to get up and go.

Media day was awkward, to say the least. They didn't really speak to each other much, but the interactions they did have were short and even the RB staff had noticed how jumpy they were being around each other.

That night, Yuki didn't show up at the hotel. He texted Liam saying he was staying with Pierre and not to wait up for him.

So that was it then. Yuki knew what Liam had done the night before and this was the end of their friendship.

Liam didn't get much sleep, and Yuki indeed stayed with Pierre, ranting about what had happened for hours on end, much to the annoyance of the frenchman.

“Yuki” Pierre sighed dramatically “you are so dumb. You obviously like each other and are too scared to admit it”

“Maybe… I will try and talk to him tomorrow”

“Great” Pierre huffed “Now can we please go to sleep?”

They bid each other goodnight, but Yuki's head was still full of unanswered questions.

P1 and P2 went fine. But at the end of the day they were both exhausted and ready to get as much rest as possible for the next day.

They slid into bed, on the same sides as before, barely speaking a word to each other before passing out.

This time when Liam woke with a start, it wasn't because he'd come in his pants, it was because Yuki was spooning him.

He felt a hardness pressing into his ass and didn't take long to figure out what it was.

Yuki was hard, and gently rocking against him in his sleep.

Liam was torn. Should he wake Yuki up and risk the older man being disgusted and ending their friendship then and there? Or should he do nothing and pretend it never happened?

Somehow with the second option he felt like he was taking advantage of Yuki, given how he felt about the man, but selfishly, he decided he didn't care.

If this was to be between only him and himself that was fine.

He arched his back and pushed himself back towards Yuki, to give him more to work with, which worked a treat.

Yuki’s arm that was draped over Liam's body shifted and tightened around his middle, unconsciously pulling Liam's hips back harder against his movements.

Liam let out a shuddery breath as he let it happen, indulging in the strength of the other man, letting Yuki use his body to get off, and he had to reach down and squeeze a hand around his own cock to avoid a replay of the other night.

He only had so many pairs of spare boxers.

He briefly wondered whether Yuki would come against him, whether it would wake him up or not, and whether Yuki would hate himself for it in the morning.

The universe decided to be even crueler than that.

Yuki moaned Liam's name instead.

Quite loudly. And Liam's dick throbbed.

Yuki was dreaming about him?

Was the man's subconscious on drugs?

Why the fuck was he having sex dreams about Liam?

Yuki continued the gentle movement of his hips, letting out soft whines against the back of Liam's neck.

After at least half an hour, and an increasing sense of urgency in Yuki's moans, Liam thought the older man was finally going to come in his pants.

What happened was much more mortifying.

Yuki's body jolted slightly and he froze completely, halting his movements and his moans as the silence became deafening.

Liam knew Yuki had woken up, but Yuki didn't know whether Liam was awake, so they both stayed like that, hard and internally panicking, trying to pretend to be sleeping, for the next several hours.

Well, obviously they were exhausted the next day and did terribly in qualifying, both of them getting knocked out in Q1.

“This has to stop it's not healthy” Pierre said after Yuki had turned up in his hotel room, yet again.

“You don't understand. I want to fuck a straight man, there is nothing more terrifying than that”

Pierre rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“Yuki listen to me. Liam is not straight! It is obvious like the nose in the middle of the face but you refuse to see it”

“He has a girlfriend! He obviously does not want me!” Yuki whined and Pierre almost slapped him.

“Okay fuck this” he took his phone out and texted Liam to come over to his hotel, now.

Liam was a bit confused but he did as he was told, almost sprinting the short distance between the two hotels.

When Pierre opened the door he looked almost murderous.

“Tell Yuki you want him to fuck you, because you two are driving me mental. I am going to stay with Charles. Please don't get cum on the bed.”

And with that he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Liam stared at a mortified looking Yuki sitting on the bed.

“What is Pierre on about?” he asked tentatively.

Yuki sighed.

“I used to have a crush on you back when we were roommates, you know?”

Liam shook his head. “No I did not know that”

“And when you became my teammate this year it came back… And you told me before that you weren't completely straight but every time I have tried to flirt you have brushed me off so I assumed you don't want anything to do with me. Until the other night when you dreamed about fucking me”

Liam's jaw was on the floor at this point, and he blushed at the mention of that night.

He didn't quite know what to say, so the first thing that came out of his mouth didn't register in his brain until after he said it.

“Actually I was dreaming about you fucking my throat but yeah…” he corrected and they just stared at each other.

They didn't say anything for a long time, trying to decipher what this all meant.

After what felt like an eternity Yuki said:

“Can I please fuck your mouth?”

And Liam didn't hesitate, he dropped to his knees and crawled towards the bed.

“Please” he said, and Yuki groaned, rushing to get his pants down.

This was finally it.

Liam could have cried with relief as the salty taste of Yuki's precum hit his tongue.

He sank down to the base and Yuki choked on air as he watched Liam deepthroat him immediately.

Despite Liam never having been with a man, he’d tried and tested his gag reflex and had found out early on that he just didn't have one.

Yuki was the first lucky bastard to bear witness to that gift of nature.

The older man threaded his fingers through Liam's dirty blonde hair and held him in place while he thrusted his hips up into his waiting mouth.

Liam was in heaven, he was letting his throat be used for Yuki's pleasure and his cock was hard between his legs, so he squeezed a hand around himself.

He couldn't breathe because of how deep the other man was inside his throat, so Yuki pulled him off for a second, and stared at his hooded eyes and the line of spit linking his tip to Liam's swollen lips.

“My god Liam how many guys have you been practising on?”

“None” he rasped “You're my first”

He was about to take Yuki back into his mouth but the older man kept his head still and groaned.

“You have never been with a man?” he asked.

“Nopee…” Liam whined, trying to fill his mouth, but Yuki wasn't letting him. “Please, Yuki”

Yuki almost combusted on the spot.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck my mouth!” he cried impatiently.

Yuki didn't tease him any longer, he rubbed his tip on Liam's tongue teasingly before shoving himself back in to the base.

Liam moaned and his eyes rolled back into his skull as Yuki's balls slapped against his chin every time he buried himself in his throat.

He was floating, almost like in his dream, and his own cock was throbbing between his legs at the feeling of being used like this.

He shouldn't have been so turned on by a blowjob, but he could feel himself slowly edging closer to an orgasm as Yuki's hips stuttered.

“I’m going to come, where do you want it?” Yuki rasped.

Liam answered non-verbally by grasping his hips and shoving him as deep as he could down his throat, while looking up at Yuki with as much submissiveness as he could muster.

Yuki was a goner. The sight of his long time crush completely fucked out, greedily swallowing his cock was so fucking hot that he came down Liam's throat, toes curling at the sudden white hot pleasure coursing through his body.

Liam heaved in a breath as soon as his mouth was empty and it took him a second to realise he had in fact, come in his pants once again.

He was a grown man for fuck's sake.

Yuki had fallen backwards and was trying to catch his breath while staring at the ceiling, so thankfully, had not noticed.

Liam shuffled forwards on his knees and hugged Yuki's midriff, hiding his very red face.

The older man looked down and giggled. His hand went to stroke Liam's hair, fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp.

“Do you want me to repay the favour?” he asked, as Liam's body shuddered.

“No…” he whined into Yuki's shirt “I already uhh… came”

His voice squeaked in embarrassment and Yuki simultaneously melted and twitched with arousal.

“You came from giving me a blowjob?” he asked, bewildered.

“Yeah…” Liam moaned pitifully.

The silence stretched on and Liam was worried that Yuki was weirded out so he opened his mouth to apologise for ruining everything.

But before he could get a word out, Yuki sat up and pulled Liam up into his lap.

Liam was so shocked by the fact that Yuki had just lifted him up like a child, he felt his cock twitch at the casual display of strength.

“Can I see?” Yuki asked breathlessly while his brain short-circuited.

Liam undid his pants and Yuki wasted no time sliding his hand in and wrapping a hand around his half hard cock.

The stickiness made his own semi throb and he pulled his hand out to inspect it.

Liam was holding his breath, surely he wasn't going to-

He was.

He did.

Yuki licked his hand clean of his cum, while making full eye contact.

He hummed at the taste and when he’d finished, he put his hand flat on Liam’s chest to feel his heart beat.

Liam gasped and his hips bucked, brushing against Yuki's rapidly growing bulge. They were both getting extremely turned on again, and the heat in the room was becoming almost suffocating.

Yuki's hand went back into Liam’s pants and curled around his cock once more, to start jerking him off slowly, aided by the slick remnants of his cum.

His other hand went to the back of Liam's head and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss.

It had been a long time coming. A very long time coming.

Yuki could taste himself on Liam tongue and he groaned, tightening his grip which made Liam groan in turn and wrap his arms around Yuki's neck.

As they made out, the hand on Liam's neck went down to his ass and squeezed at the supple flesh, making Liam whine into the kiss.

“Yuki, I need you to fuck me, now” he gasped.

Yuki grunted and turned them around so that Liam was now lying on the bed with his legs hanging off the edge.

Yuki made quick work of both of their clothes and spread Liam's legs, hungrily taking in the other man’s vulnerable state.

“Wait, have you done this before?” he asked, suddenly remembering what he’d said earlier.

Liam shook his head and grinned at him, crossing his hands behind his head, which distracted Yuki slightly because the movement made his biceps flex invitingly.

“Nope… you get the honour of deflowering the great Liam Lawson”

He wasn't sure where this sudden cockiness was coming from, but Yuki just rolled his eyes and went over to the bedside table to grab a bottle of lube he knew Pierre always carried around with him. (Don't ask)

The first finger pushing inside was an odd sensation, but not unpleasant, Liam thought.

Yuki was very generous with the lube, determined to make Liam's first experience as comfortable as possible.

The second finger stretched him out a bit more, and he keened when Yuki accidentally brushed his prostate.

The new sensation sent a jolt up his spine and Yuki chuckled.

Soon enough he was ready, and his cock was angry and leaking all over his stomach.

Yuki somehow resisted the urge to lick it all up, instead he lined himself up and pushed in just an inch.

Liam moaned at the stretch and his hands gripped at the sheets.

“Relax Liam…” Yuki soothed him with a hand rubbing circles on his hip.

“Yes Yuki” he gasped and took a deep breath before the older man managed to push himself in further.

Once Yuki was fully sheathed, Liam could hardly breathe.

Yes it was his first time, but Yuki was big.

But he was also incredibly gentle, letting Liam adjust in his own time before starting to rock his hips in a slow rhythm.

Liam was on fire (in a good way).

He wrapped his legs around Yuki’s waist and pulled him down into a kiss.

The sound of their hips slapping echoed in the room, along with Liam's little ah… ah… ahh’s as Yuki's cock grazed his prostate on every increasingly powerful thrust.

“Yuki!” Liam cried out, overwhelmed by the sensations that were completely new to him.

They looked into each other's eyes as they got closer to their ends, foreheads pressed together making them go cross-eyed. (They looked like lovesick idiots)

“Yuki- fuck, christ I'm… I'm going to- I’m coming!” Liam sobbed as his orgasm washed over him in waves while Yuki chased his own.

“Liam!” he gasped into Liam's mouth as he came inside him, hips grinding against the spot that made him see stars.

They panted and moaned into each others' mouths, coming down from the intense high as Yuki found Liam's hand to intertwine their fingers.

“I love you” he muttered as he kissed down Liam's neck and across his chest.

Tears sprang to Liam's eyes. “Yuki”

The older man looked up at him expectantly.

“I love you too” he whispered and Yuki smiled.

They kissed again, softer and more controlled than before.

They had time.

Pierre wasn't coming back anytime soon so they made use of the en-suite bathroom to take a nice long shower, soaping each other up and giggling like children as they felt each other up.

On their way back to their room, Yuki shot Pierre a quick text.

“We did not get cum on the bed, but you will need to buy more lube”

Pierre must have been waiting with Charles for a sign of life, because his reply was immediate.

“For fuck’s sake, Yuki. I told you to stop stealing my lube!”

“But congratulations or whatever”

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Was Javier Garcia "not bisexual enough" in ANF?

I feel like everyone reading the title of this essay is going to say, "Well, yeah? Obviously? Javi didn't show any interest in men outside of that one optional moment of flirting with Jesus and then he was confirmed bisexual by one of the writers after the season ended. If they wanted to make him bi, they should've done more with it because that's not enough."

That's a commonly expressed opinion no matter where you look, and it's not like it's unfounded, either.

On a surface level, I agree. While I understand the excitement of learning a character is canonically bi, in the case of Javier Garcia it still feels like celebrating crumbs tossed to us by Telltale after they had their cake and ate it, too. They snuck in some bisexual representation at the last minute for queer audiences without it being explicit so the homophobes wouldn't throw a tantrum.

Stuff like that happens. Sometimes the representation is subtle or implied in the subtext. Or, the queerness is condensed into something digestible and sanitized for straight audiences. Or, it's stated after the fact with little to no actual evidence to support it in canon.

Hell, even if it is obvious, like with Clementine being bisexual in TFS, you still have biphobes who will die on the hill of denial. Even now, in the year 2024, we have people insisting "Clem being bi came out of nowhere! They should've showed it in earlier seasons if they wanted it to make sense. I'm not homophobic but here's my essay PROVING that violentine is bad and forced and that Clem isn't bi!" Or, on the other extreme, "Clementine is a lesbian to me, bisexuality isn't real :)"

But I've already talked about Clementine and what her bisexuality means to me. I want to talk about Javier now.

He's an interesting case, both in the way his queerness was handled and portrayed in the game, and how audiences received it... as in, a lot of people said, "That's great and all, but is it really representation when it's not actually present? It's not enough."

That. That right there: "It's not enough." That's what I want to break down and examine.

Is Javier Garcia not valid as a queer character because he didn't reach this concept of "enough" in the eyes of the player? But what would have been "enough" then? Do people really understand what they're asking for when they discuss what they think Telltale should've done? Does it actually matter if Javier is queer when it comes to the plot and his journey as the protagonist, and if it doesn't matter, is that okay?

Should we just accept these crumbs sprinkled in our hands?

I want to make it clear that I'm but one bisexual examining a bisexual character and doing an analysis. I've climbed out of my bog to write this because I want to discuss Javier and the writing as it pertains to his queerness, or lack thereof. I'm also aware that I'm not providing any irrefutable, concrete evidence here one way or the other; I'm speculating about Javier through a queer lens. I encourage any other bi, pan, or other queer person to add to these discussion points, whether in agreement or not.

Prior to TFS, the queer representation in TWDG wasn't great...

Though the games do get progressively gayer as the seasons go on. And some even get to live! Progress!

S1 had... uh, none? Wait, is that right? ...Yeah, no, I'm tuning my gay radio and it isn't picking up any signals, Captain. Nothing gay in these waters.

S2 had Walter and Matthew, who both died shortly after being introduced. There's some homoerotic undertones between Luke and Nick but nothing was ever confirmed. Also, they both died, so... not great.

The Michonne mini-series had Jonas and Zachary, but Zachary will always die no matter what. Jonas can die, too, but it's determinant. Paige was confirmed to be queer by the writers, though. Uh, progress? Kind of? Not really, it's never talked about and you only pick up on her feelings for Sam if you squint and pay close attention. But hey, at least she got to live!

Then, in ANF we have Javier, our playable protagonist, and Paul "Jesus" Monroe, a gay character who also showed up in the comics and TV show. Would'ja look at that, they both got to live! I should also mention nothing was ever confirmed about Ava but... c'mon, y'know? Captain, there's a faint signal on my radio; when you know, you know. Except she died, to, so... still not great.

Then came TFS, who really said, "Screw you, here's all the gay!"

They gave us bisexual Clementine with both of her romance routes. Violet, Minerva, James, mentions of his past boyfriend, Charlie... Aasim was planned to be bisexual and I don't see why we can't reclaim that for him, and one day I'll crawl out of my bog to write my analysis on the queer-coding/subtext of Louis' character because if I read "lmao Louis is such a Straight" one more time, I'm going to let the gators take a bite out of me just so that I can feel something other than irritation for once.

Sigh. It's so hard being a "Louis ain't straight" truther out here, so few understand.

My plights aside, there's no avoiding the queerness of TFS. Even if your Clementine doesn't romance anyone, or romances Louis, you can't avoid the fact that Violet and Minerva were girlfriends at one point. It's determinant if James will tell you about Charlie, but that doesn't change the fact that James is gay.

But it runs deeper than that. This is a story about these troubled youth who were abandoned by their families and teachers, the ones who were supposed to love and help them, because "something was wrong with them, they did something bad... they need fixing."

These young people have to fight against an oppressive group of adults looking to steal their autonomy, change them, mold them into what's expected to survive. Their identities don't matter to the raiders. All the raiders care about is erasing such identities so that they fall in line and obey, and if they don't comply, they die... or worse.

Yes, it's a story about Clementine and AJ finally finding a home, but no matter how you play, it's also a narrative steeped in queer themes and subtext. You can tell that the people who made it not only cared about these things and wanted them weaved throughout the story, but that some of them were queer themselves.

But where does that leave us with Javier?

With everything TFS did, it's easy to look back at ANF with a critical eye and pinpoint its flaws in every aspect. While I don't believe it's the worst game Telltale ever made [I mean, Minecraft Story Mode exists], in my opinion, it's the messiest game in the main series. It's not bad, but I'd much rather play S1 or TFS.

For all the criticism it received, most players did like Javier as the playable protagonist. Well, they did once they got over the fact that Clementine wouldn't be taking on that role again, and was instead relegated to only being playable in flashbacks.

Javi's personality can vary depending on player choices, but for the most part, he's a charismatic man who loves his family. He used to be a professional baseball player before he was booted from the league for gambling. He can be cocky and sarcastic, and it usually lands him in trouble. He tends to cope and deflect using humor. He has a past of being irresponsible and selfish; he wasn't even there when his father died, despite knowing he was dying of cancer. His relationship with David is complicated, only made messier if he and Kate end up together. He's trying his best... for the most part. Javi even ends up being a father figure to Gabe and Mariana after they all thought David was dead, and he's very open about his grief following Mariana's death.

But given everything we learn about him while playing ANF, how do we know Javi isn't straight? After all, his main love interest is Kate, a woman. He also has opportunities to flirt with Eleanor, another woman. He doesn't show any signs of being attracted to any of the men who are around... until Paul "Jesus" Monroe.

At the end of ep5, Javi and Jesus have a conversation where one of the dialogue options is, "I like you, Jesus." Granted, that doesn't have to mean "like-like;" you can say you like someone without any romantic intentions. Plus, Jesus IS a cool character. Players who picked that option likely weren't thinking of it in a romantic sense.

It's the way that Jesus responds to this option, though: a flirtatious smile, lidded eyes, the deep dip of his voice.

Javier: I gotta admit, man. You're a fucking badass! Jesus: You're a real charmer... You know that? Through and through.

It's not difficult to see Jesus is being flirtatious, and Javi sees it, too. How does he react?

Forgive me, but I'm about to over-analyze this six-second gif. I love his reaction so much. That subtle jump of his shoulders as if a jolt just ran through his gut at the way Jesus lowers his voice. Surprised, and then the movement of the brows, the slide of the eyes, and the little upturn of the mouth says to me "Oh… oh." Caught off guard, perhaps a little bashful.

Option 1: Javier: Oh, you know what they say. Takes one to know one. Jesus: That they do. Option 2: Javier: Are you really sure you don't want to stay? There's room. Jesus: Oh, uh... I'm sure there is, but... we got other people depending on us, Javi. Just the way it is. Option 3: Javier: Meant to tell you... That, uh, armor you got is great. Jesus: Oh... Oh, uh... Hmm... Well, uh... Thanks, um... It gets the job done.

Javi knows what Jesus is getting at regardless of your choice. He understands this is flirtatious, but is startled since he likely didn't consider that Jesus likes men, too. We the audience have a better chance at knowing if, especially those familiar with the character from the comics and the TV show. Javi wouldn't because why would he? It's not like Jesus is obvious and flaunting with the fact that he's gay.

What's funny about that is, given our topic of discussion, we could also argue that Jesus wasn't gay enough, couldn't we? If we're going to pick on Javier for not being more open about his sexuality, then it's only fair that we pick on other characters, no? Did Jesus need to be gayer? Would that improve ANF?

In fact, now that I think about, was James gay enough in TFS? Was one moment where he talks about his boyfriend, a scene that's determinant so not every player got it, enough? What about Minerva? We know she and Violet were girlfriends before Marlon traded her away, that's information that's unavoidable, but did she actually reach this apparent high standard of "enough" in the eyes of the audience?

Are we entitled to unequivocal evidence of queerness, and the heaping amount we deem necessary, otherwise it's not good enough and shouldn't be bothered with at all? Are more casual displays of queerness bad?

I can already hear people jumping to defend James and Minerva, and likely Jesus, against this because "it's totally different!"

Sure. Javier's situation is different from James, Jesus, and Minerva's respective situations. James actually uses the word boyfriend and he keeps a picture of him and Charlie in his pocket. Jesus appears in The Walking Dead universe outside of the game with more evidence of queerness. Minerva's past relationship with Violet is made clear even when you don't pursue Violet's route, not to mention the underlying metaphor of conversion with her being changed/brainwashed/traumatized by the raiders to be just like them.

Javier is different because that scene with Jesus is the only in-game evidence of his queerness, right? Then he had to be confirmed as bisexual by one of the writers once ANF ended.

Surely, they could've brought up the fact that Javier's bi earlier, right? Made mentions of a past boyfriend, or had a flashback about Javi coming out to his family? Why only let him flirt with Kate and Eleanor? Why wasn't there an option to flirt with Tripp, or some other male character? What about a darker turn where David didn't accept Javi for it? David's portrayed as an antagonist, anyway, why not toss a little homophobia into the mix? Why not reveal it if Javi rejects Kate? What if Kate was so hurt by the rejection that she asked him, "It's true, David was right. It's because you like men, isn't it?"

It feels like they decided at the last minute to just toss it in, like someone walked into Telltale one day and said, "Y'all, I just thought of the funniest thing- Javi should be bi so that we can make jokes about him swinging both ways!" And then everyone clapped.

Here's the deal: Something about this sits differently with me, and that's probably thanks to one of ANF's writers, Adam Esquenazi Douglas.

He's the one that confirmed Javier as bisexual.

Adam had his hand in writing for 4/5 episodes, and he said he wrote the scene where Javi can flirt back with Jesus, but it's that last line of his: "After all, they always say write what you know."

I don't know how many of you who are reading this are writers, or creators in general, but I assume many of you are. It doesn't matter if you write fanfiction, create fanart, write essay posts or headcanons or whatever. I have a firm belief that creative people pour so much of themselves into their work that, if given enough material and studied enough, you can get a glimpse of their soul. Even if done unintentionally, we project ourselves into these works; the characters, themes, conclusions, everything.

Am I suggesting that Adam was secretly a bisexual mastermind who threaded queerness throughout the entirety of ANF and we were all too blind to see it? No, and if he did, then he needs to step forward and tell me so that I can study ANF frame by frame to compile the secret evidence into a new essay.

...Actually, on second thought, maybe don't do that to me, Adam.

My point is, yes, it's true that it's likely Javi being bi was added in at the last minute... but can we really dismiss Javier as "not bisexual enough" when Adam had influence over Javi's character throughout the whole season? And I ask again: is the casual queerness of Javier bad?

Time to speculate and answer some of those questions about Javier

Let's talk about Kate for a minute. She is Javier's main love interest, whether you choose to accept her feelings or not, so she can give us a good point of reference for what Javi looks for in a partner.

Kate and Javi share a similar sense of humor that bounces well between the two. Kate wants to travel, Javi's well traveled from his time as a profession baseball player. They both exist in this space of "we're kind of the family screw up." Granted, Javi's more in it than Kate is, but you can see parts of her that come through where she's a little rebellious, a little not good enough [ironically]. They both feel trapped in their situations; Kate in her marriage, Javi in a slow downward spiral of not knowing what to do with himself now that he's booted from his career. They have complicated relationships with David, and together, they've raised Gabe and Mariana through the years after they believed David was dead.

They're a lot alike in many ways, so this is hardly an opposites attract type of romance.

What's interesting is if you then look at Jesus, he has some similar qualities to Kate; a sense of humor even when things are looking bleak, they to help and protect people, are willing to throw themselves in danger to save Richmond. Then if you add Eleanor, the other person Javi has some flirtatious dialogue with, you can apply those qualities to her, as well... though the big difference with her is Eleanor sells the group out because she wants to stay.

With the little information we have, we can speculate on Javi's preferences. He prefers someone more similar to him. I know, I know, everyone loves a good opposites attract tale, they're so different but similar at their cores, they fill in each other's gaps, yada yada... except not everyone is like that, obviously.

My working theory is that a partner who would act as the opposite of Javi would be someone who acts like David... and does Javi really want to date someone like his brother? Though that then opens up a whole can of worms since if Javi and Kate are so similar, and David married Kate... this isn't an essay about David, but that's certainly a thing to chew on.

With that, I suppose we can answer the question, "But if Javi's bi, why didn't he flirt with any men prior to Jesus?"

What men?

No, seriously, where are all these men Javi's supposed to flirt with? Are they hiding? I know you hid them in the game, Adam, where are they?

Wait, do you mean Tripp?

I don't want to step on the toes of any Javi/Tripp shippers out there, but let's actually think about this. When we meet Tripp, Javi's just been separated from his family. He was knocked out and tied up by these assholes who caught him siphoning their gas, then this teenager cut down a tree which resulted in him getting into a car accident. Said teenager then tried to rob him before agreeing to escort him back to his family but first, they gotta go to Prescott. I wouldn't say Javier's in the flirtatious mood by the time he meets Tripp.

But he can flirt with Eleanor, right?

So, why not Tripp?

Because Tripp is a man and he has feelings for Eleanor. That's made quite clear from ep1. He told Javi that he and Eleanor had a thing once. Sure, Javi could still harmlessly flirt with him, but have we stopped to consider that Javi isn't as confident with openly flirting with men like he is women? After all, who initiated the actual flirting between him and Jesus in ep5? That would be Jesus, and it happens after the danger is over and Javi doesn't have to worry about dying for a little bit.

Listen, I understand that Tripp is big. He's built like the lumberjack of our dreams. He has a nice beard. He's not afraid to talk about his feelings even when he fumbles all over them. He's strong and caring and brave. He could easily toss me over his shoulder like I'm a sack of flour and then throw me across the room... what's not to love? Surely, if Javi actually liked men, he would've made a move on Tripp at some point.

Except, would he? Is Tripp even Javi's type? Because I'm pressing X to doubt.

Also, why does he need to?

This is where I question why some people think Javi has to flirt with a bunch of men to "prove" he's bisexual? I'm sorry, do you believe there's a quota all bisexuals have to meet to maintain their membership card? You have to flirt with this many genders a month otherwise they'll revoke your premium status?

Sometimes I wonder if people unintentionally lean into the "promiscuous bisexual" stereotype, or if they do genuinely believe that bisexuals have to express interest in multiple people of different genders in order to prove themselves queer enough.

Did we ever stop to think that Javi's just not like that? An open flirt, I mean. Yeah he's charismatic and funny and all that, but Kate, Eleanor, and Jesus all initiate the romantic dialogue with him first; Kate tells him she needs to get laid hint hint, Eleanor calls him pretty, and Jesus calls him a real charmer.

Tripp never gives him any indication that he's interested or that he even likes men, so why would Javi make a move?

As for any other man? Again, what men? Max? Dr. Lingard? Clint? Conrad? And forget adding a new character to ANF; it could barely handle the characters it already had and you want to add a new one just for Javier? Let's face it, Tripp was the best option and that's just it, he wasn't an option.

"But my Javi WOULD flirt with Tripp and the game didn't give me the option!"

And there it is.

Javier isn't your OC

ANF isn't a massive RPG where starting a new game brings you to a character creation menu, and you get to decide every factor about the character you want to play.

ANF is an episodic, point-and-click Telltale game, and Javier isn't your OC. Like with Lee and Clementine, there are some things you just don't get a say in, and I think that gets to the player sometimes.

When I sit down to play a Dragon Age game, I go into it knowing that my character is mine, I get to decide who they are and who they're interested in. DA as an RPG has the capacity to give me a bunch of romantic options both in and out of my party that shape who my character is.

When I sit down to play TWDG, I go into it knowing that while I have my own Lee, Clementine, and Javi, I didn't create them but I am influencing who they become. I know it's a Telltale game, and that means limitations.

These games have always had the "illusion of choice" criticism chucked at them from the beginning. Usually that pertains to the choices you make that affect the overall story, but ultimately don't matter in the end.

For example, it doesn't matter if you save Carley or Doug because no matter what, they both die. My counter-argument for this has always been that the choice does matter in the way that it shapes your playable character, and how if affects the characters around you. A Lee who saved Doug over Carley had reasons for making that choice, and in turn, has a different experience going forward than a player who chose to save Carley.

Does it matter who shoots Duck in the woods after he's bitten? Or if he's left to turn? No matter what, he's going to die, so is that the illusion of choice? I don't believe so, because it does matter. It affects player experience.

That being said, I believe players who become invested in this series, especially those who engage in fandom, develop a warped sense of what should've been, forgetting the nature of a Telltale game. I know this because that's the foundation my blog was built on.

Javier Garcia isn't a blank slate. You didn't create him. He had a life before the start of the game, he has a personality that you didn't choose for him, and there are things you have no control over. If anything, we act as an influence over the TWDG playable protagonists. Most every option given is something that could reasonably play into their character. I say "most" because we all remember that [GLASS HIM] moment where Javi tells David that Kate's going to leave him and we were all like "THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT THAT OPTION WAS!" and it felt out of character.

Anyway, you don't dictate who these characters are but you get sway over the direction they take.

Javi can be a real prick to everyone, but that plays into the selfish and entitled part established with his character from the beginning. You can play him as genuine, trying to step up and do better for the sake of his family, another thing brought up from the very beginning.

"But why couldn't I make Javi flirt with Trip!?"

Because it's not an option. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't know what you want me to tell you.

ANF is a Telltale game that centers about Javier Garcia. It's a story about a man who, prior to the outbreak, screwed up and was wasting his life away. His relationship to his family sat upon a rocky foundation, crumbled by his own hands. He wasn't even there when his father died. We follow this man through a story of a family trying to survive, we watch him reunite with his brother and risk losing everything that kept him grounded and going. He experiences grief and anger and sorrow and happiness. In the end, he comes out of it all a different man, for better or worse.

That man just also happened to be bisexual.

And that's the thing: This isn't a story about Javier's sexuality. He isn't going around making moves on these elusive men that mastermind Adam Esquenazi Douglas maybe hid in the game somewhere because the game isn't about Javi liking men.

It's a game about his complicated relationships with Kate and David made messy by Kate being in love with him, and whether or not Javi loves her, too.

It's about Javi helping Clementine back on her path after she's been alone and bitter for so long. It's about them fighting to take down a group of people doing really shitty things to other communities. It's about losing Mariana and avenging her by killing the man who shot her. It's about Gabe feeling conflicted about his father, a man he always wanted to be just like, after realizing that David isn't this idealized figure Gabe thought he was.

It's about the promise Javi made to his father.

The fact that Javi happens to be bi doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the plot. It's just something that's apart of who he is, but because it's a small detail we feel was added in at the last minute, we decide it's not enough.

But what if it is enough? Do we even truly know what this concept of "enough" is?

Throughout writing this piece, I've found myself in a loop.

I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be? -> We shouldn't settle for crumbs, we deserve more explicit representation. -> But is there really anything wrong with casual representation where the story doesn't focus on sexuality? It doesn't take away from other stories that do. -> I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be?

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Queer stories are important and our voices need to be heard. We need stories that don't shy away from experiences that are hard to stomach. We need queer stories told by queer people. We need stories that are unapologetic, that aren't afraid to face their audience with pride. Stories that don't say "yeah but we have to bend a little to the bigots to maximize our profits." We need these stories that inspire us, hurt us, make us cry and piss us off. We need queer stories with happy endings that give us hope, that push us to seek a better future so that new generations of queer people don't feel alone in their struggles. We need queer stories that make us feel heard, seen.

Do stories with casual representation of queer characters fit in there somewhere, too? I think they do, because TFS is a casual representation story.

Clementine is bi and it isn't a big deal; she never has a moment where she's openly questioning, she doesn't have this big coming-out scene, there's no tears shed or anything. She isn't stomping around with her bi pride flag and announcing who she is with a heartwarming speech.

She just is.

Same thing with Violet. She never comes out to Clementine as a lesbian, no one ever calls her that, she just is.

Clementine's romance with Violet is treated just as it is with Louis, sincere and normal. No one questions her or Violet because to the Ericson crew, it is normal. They knew Violet and Minerva were together before but no one has any quips about it, positive or negative.

If you romance Violet but then save Louis, he makes mention that Clementine and Violet are close so why save him? But Louis, for as much as people side eye him for making jokes and never taking anything seriously, doesn't say anything more. He could've made a joke, "Ah, you like girls, I guess I never stood a chance then, haha." He doesn't, because it's not something out of the ordinary for him and it's not something he feels the need to pry over.

If you go fishing with Violet and Brody, you find the carved heart with Violet and Minerva's initials and AJ asks what it means. Clementine can tell him they were girlfriends, and AJ doesn't go, "Oh, that's weird," or "Huh, I didn't know girls could like each other." He just goes, "Oh. Love." and moves on because he grew up differently, it isn't a big deal to.

Even the antagonists aren't out here spewing homophobia, at least that I recall.

The Ericson crew are a generation that understands and accepts. Where Clementine could end up with either Louis or Violet and no one will raise a brow, or even feel compelled to signal their alliance like, "Ah, yes, I am accepting of you and your choice, good for you, I am an ally, I'm making this about me."

The Final Season of TWDG is great, and it proves that the writers at Telltale at the time wanted to explore these topics earnestly. It wasn't pandering or trying to score "woke points" with the LGBTQ+ community like some bigots will insist. If it were, it would've been way more obvious about it, I think.

Casual queer stories or serious stories that tackle the hardships of being gay?

Like the bisexual I am, I like both and everything in between.

Clementine didn't need to prove her bisexuality as "enough" in TFS, but since the circumstances were different, did Javier?

I'm going to take the potentially controversial road and say no. I understand why we wish they did more, and I understand why people have frustrations over creators dropping that information without actually having to commit in their work... but I also have some appreciation for the casual reveal of Javi being bi, regardless of why it was dropped.

Javier is valid. He didn't need to "prove" anything.

In a way, I believe we do have some control over the portrayal of Javier, and that's by engaging in fandom. If you were disappointed that Javi's queerness wasn't explored in game, then find a fic that does explore that side of him, or write your own. Engage with other people and their work about it. Comment on fanart, fics, and thought pieces. Write brain dumps. Find other Javi/Tripp shippers and prove me wrong, prove that Tripp is indeed Javi's type and have fun while doing it.

Telltale gave us the crumbs, so let that inspire us to bake a cake.

I don't think this concept of "not enough" is the most productive way we could go about discussing topics like this. Not everyone has the same level or standard, and every work is a unique case. But I think it is fun and productive to share ideas of what we would've done differently so that it may inspire us.

ANF, for all of its flaws, could be a tool used to teach us where our priorities are in storytelling, and influence what we want to create ourselves.

In conclusion: Javier Garcia is enough to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to crawl back to my bog and begin research into the meaning and metaphors behind walkers and their existence.

But before that, I want to give a big thank you to @pi-creates for making the Javi gif used in this essay, as well as for listening to all my bullshit during the writing process.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I want to expand on what I'm talking about. And I said a little bit extra in the comments:

There's just some posts that have been going around about how to solve the issue of men swinging real right in America right now,which does have an impact on society. some guy was saying he was attacted to the right bc they were all 'welcome brother' but in the left people resent him. I think it's just. It's easier to go to an idealogy that's like 'you're entitled to this' than an idealogy that says 'hey you're not entitled to everything but you could be more emotionally healthy and kinder to other people and". That's something simply being nice or making them feel good won't ever fully fix. The "rewards" for being in the right will always feel more immediate for white men.

It's not unique to men to feel alienated in an idealogy that wants you to challenge yourself. At the same time, more kindness to everyone, emphasis on acceptance, less volatile language toward each other, will help the community be stronger over all. it is a difficult conundrum, but I don't think it comes down to 'we don't make men feel special enough

It also ignores I think, that white men DO get rewarded in leftist spaces too. a lot. Men will get a ton of adoration for saying something vaguely feminist than if a woman says it a lot of the time, and so on a so forth, everyone loves a sweet guy...I think that's something that already happens.

But let's get back to volatile language:

We always say guilt isn't going to help anyone and it isn't about guilt. But I think we need to admit that no, we do try to make people feel guilty and ashamed a lot. And not framing it around that most of the time would do a lot.

I've seen posts straight up saying it's a bad thing to want to survive and live happy lives and take actions to do this because (x) bad thing is happening. You know, the most basic human instinct? And that's not going to win over people. You may not like that, but it's not.

I don't think that needs to center on women helping men feel special about themselves. A lot of us are asked to take care of men all the time and it's exhausting. Men on the left can focus on being more positive about the concept of manhood if they want, but asking women to do the work. is just....yeah that's just the patriarchy.

I do think examining things like black masculinity etc is great though. If you have another marginalized identity, it will intertwine with masculinity in very specific ways that will be used against you, just as it is with femininity or being outside both those concepts (yet the world assigns you one anyway). I totally get that masculinity is used as a weapon against both gay men and gay women, in different specific ways. And I think at least learning about that and supporting efforts to stop this makes one a better person.

On the other hand. it would be insane of me to ask a Black woman to make a Black man feel special and accepted for simply being a man if she doesn't want to do that. Like. absolutely wild.

And it's it's rarely about that, is it? When we say "celebrate men" it's not bringing any unique experience into it. It's about white men. They're the ones who make up most of the alt-right.

Communities in the right are not compassionate but because they offer some form of reward and companionship they can seem like that. As much as people are lured in by "welcome brother" or whatever, those same people will on the right will mock any person who steps outside the strict roles that have been set.

So....we need to abolish to same roles. I think we need to focus on how we talk to people. On supporting people when they're trying.

It also comes off in how we talk to each other about basically I can harshly tell someone who has privilege over me-- a white man or straight person ect ect-- their guilt about their privilege does nothing, I'm not interested in guilt and what we need is action. But let's be real. Telling someone "you benefit from a system that makes other people suffer" is going to make someone feel guilty. And yelling at someone for feeling guilty isn't going to make that better. I think we avoid saying the truth and say what's the core of it-- no, it's not your fault you were born a certain way and now you benefit from something. A society hundreds of years in the making made that happen. And that sucks, that you basically have no choice but to be complicit. And it sucks way, way more for the people who are kept down by that system. So we need to change society. We can do it together. It's not to "make up" for you existing. It's because we care about each other. I want this for all of us, because when we see each other as whole people and are treated equally, it benefits all of us.

This is a not a "men are uniquely punished by the left for being men, we need to celebrate masculinity, stop being so mean" thing. It's a human thing. It's about the way we talk to each other and try to weild guilt towards people in general. People want to feel good about themselves. They want some kind of acceptance. If you're constantly made to feel bad, it can be hard to want to stay. This is something everyone feels, because we all have a selfish instinct.

People don't like feeling guilty. That's just how people are. It's promoting compassion, rather than hatred and resentment, that's going to help us in the end.

But me simply saying that isn't going to change much. Humans feel hurt and lash out too. When horrible things are happening to us, we resent people that don't understand that or are part of that. The paradigm shift will be hard. Not everyone will be able to do it and I don't think that's wrong.

Everyone gets frustrated by a class of people where a lot of them have more power and try to push them down. Nobody wants to talk to someone that's trying to hurt them.

That's why it needs to be someone like me who could explain racism 101 rather than idk. making a person of color say 'well white people don't feel special and accepted for being white. poc we must be nicer. let's celebrate whiteness because the right does and that's why white people are drawn to it, they feel accepted." listen to how ridic that sounds. you are literally asking for a white history month. That's the same thing you're doing when you're talking about manhood like this. The onus is not on the discriminated group to reach out to those harming them. That's up to others in the community.

But as a broader thing...We just need to figure out what the end game is. Do we want to yell and guilt trip, or do we want more people in our corner? What's more important, the end goal or if someone knows all the right lingo or matches up to your opinions exactly? What do we need to rally around? How can we take care of each other? If we're kinder to the community, more people will follow.

Anyway this is the last time i'll say some big thing like this and tag it. I don't like doing this on tumblr for a reason.

[whoisthispersonwow]

Hello people of tumblr! :)

I am not used to using this app but I thought i would give it a shot as the fandom works featured here are straight up the best things i've found on the internet, and the community seems just AMAZING on all regards!!! So I thought, yk, that I would share my ideas for this AU fic that perhaps maybe I would write sometimes...... idk....

Actor Bucky x Model Buck

Set in the 90s, this AU follows this rough outline : despite the 90s being a time of counterculture for the youth, (grunge, alternative movies being pushed forward and towards larger audiences) and being out of the 80s and all it entails (glam rock and so on) there was this paradoxally reinforced idea of masculinity (leather jackets, men having to be "strong", etc.) and lattent ideas of homosexuality being a "bad, filthy thing" in some places, interlinked with the misinformations concerning the HIV epidemic (if you're gay, you'll get AIDS, you'll die in a few months, all this stuff), which causes the Bucks have to hide their relationship from the public in fear of retaliation and backlash.

Buck is a male model, in a decade in which supermodels are emerging, and put on a pedestal : it's a decent job for him, despite not being a Claudia Schiffer or a Kate Moss (as female models, especially in that decade, were getting paid way more than male models, and overall just represented couture houses more than men did.). People know his face, he's had a few campaigns, but it's not enough to make him one of the A-list celebrities, not that he minds. He's slimmer than what is the norm for male models, but compensates it with his face : it is his strength as much as his weakness concerning bookings. He is known by his peers as this wise and generally kind man, not overly flairy as people can sometimes be in their industry, and overall very discreet about his personal life. He is extremely professional, a master of his craft that knows exactly what is expected of him at any time.

Bucky, on the other hand, is an actor. Freshly discovered among the rest of a new generation of actors, he climbs steadily and surely his way to the top, and has people from all over the USA watching his career with interest. He acts in movies which in our timeline would feel like "The Matrix" ; "Trainspotting" ; "Fight Club", and all of those sorts of very "mainstream yet still posessing their bit a flair" movies. He's extending his choices and taking more risks, ones that could perhaps lead him to great rewards (not that he is especially looking for it : Bucky would be content to act in a short movie by a middle schooler if it was done with love and passion.) Charming, bubbly, he is loved by many of teenage girls (and others, ofc :p). Everyone has a story about Bucky, be it good or bad. "Oh yeah, he bought me a car when mine broke down" says a make-up artist on a set. "He got so drunk he forgot I was here and punched me square in the face when i got up to pee" says his friend Curt Biddick.

(i made an ugly ass moodboard for the vibes)

-> now i'm gonna dump random infos for no particular reasons

TW : mentions of drugs, alcohol, homophobic cliches.

-They met at a party/gala of some sort for a brand, for which Buck modeled and Bucky was ambassador : it didn't click right away, but closely enough for it to feel like fate played a part in it.

-Buck is kind of excluded during parties as he's fully sober, whether it's from drugs or alcohol : a rarity, in the modeling world, and often not a welcome one.

-Bucky on the other hand, is a bit too much of a party monster : he drinks a lot, perhaps snorts a little cocaine in the bathroom, takes a little speed... Which GREATLY concerns Buck.

-Bucky is as cocky in his confidence and his career as he fears (and represses A LOT) the possibility of everything tumbling down and just going back to being nobody (THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE)

-He's terrified that fame will change him, that he will become a parody version of himself, that people will only know and like the version of himself he presents them and nothing else, not seeing his worth as a person, as an individual of flesh and feelings.

-Between the two of them, he's the one who desperately wants to tell the general audience about their relationship, not caring about the consequences, because in his eyes, love is love, and there sure as hell ain't nothing wrong with loving Gale Cleven, and people should know that he loves him, that they love each other, that they're a pair, that life only ever feels complete when they stand side by side, hanging in each other's orbits. They sometimes argue over this.

-Buck, on the other hand, wishes for their relationship to stay a secret, as he fears if it was to be known, it would taint Bucky's image, this very manly, confident and suave man, mingle it with dumb cliches (in a gay couple one is a "Folle" and the other has to be effeminate, because they're like GIRLS yk) and that it would basically ruin his career, tarnish his talent and hard work, get him blacklisted from most studios/directors and only perhaps offered type-casted roles in homophobic movies written by straight men. Buck could not stand seeing the love of his life being disgraced in the public's eyes, just because of some dumbass cliches, because of his love for him.

-Marjorie (Marge) covers for Buck. She's his front : They are seen dining together and huddling on benches by paparazzis, giggling and talking as they walk in the street, and that's enough. Their story makes people dream, these two young people who grew up together and fell in love, still a couple until this day, still loving each other as much as they did on the first day... They are a lavender couple (when both member of a relationship are queer, and use their couple to cover any suspicions) which helps making Buck and Bucky seem like just buddies. Marjorie is most likely not famous, or if so, she'd be more of a writer than anything else.

-Bucky is EXTREMELY jealous and FUMES whenever he cannot kiss Buck in public, touch him, do his little Bucky things, make Buck feel his. Despite that, he's sort of reckless and allows himself gestures that would not fly were the two men not viewed as pinacle of masculinity and a great example of brotherly love. Buck can't even bring himself to ressent him for it, and does not hold it against him : he too wishes they could hold hands on red carpets.

-Bucky is basically a disaster waiting to happen at some point, a pressure cooker dangerously whistling : he bottles everything he feels, just grits his teeth and says he's fine when dark times arise, drowns himself in alcohol and wishes to forget about his worries, thinks about simpler times when he had none at all. Gale stays by his side, no matter what, no matter his terrifying relationship with alcohol and the memories of his father.

-They live together, despite the risks : Buck couldn't bear having to say no to Bucky when he bought their appartment with a huge check from the royalties he earned over his first blockbuster. It is approprietly cozy : most of the decorum is Buck's doing, but Bucky's things still find their ways in there ; baseball posters, pictures, awards and silly little drawings on stick-it notes... It feels like home, to both of them.

-They probably have bought some sort of ranch or farm, somewhere, to run away from the city when things get crazy : they bask reverently in the fact that there, nothing they do or say matters, watching the sunsets on their patios, enjoying the melody of nature without any civilization.

That's pretty much it for now, I'll most likely add things later! :D I'm begging you to excuse any mistake I made, i'm just a poor French person trying her best. Don't hesitate to tell me how you feel and stuff, I am so nervous to make this post you can't imagine lmaoo

To end things, I guess I'll just post an extract of a wip, a written transcription of a fake interview Bucky probably had on some talk show!!! :]

[usercelestial]

the whole queer eddie being included in a queer characters posts reminds me of like when people were wishing the bucktommy date scene got cut instead of the eddie and buck in Bobby’s room and eddie praying …when there is that whole random ass scene with no real adherence to the plot or the characters with polly the neighbour right there as an option for them to cut..but no they wanna cut the scene with the mlm queer couple (that many mlm queer men in this fandom love) all because they hate tommy, can’t handle a daddy issues joke, and the fact that it’s not eddie with buck

yeah ultimately a lot of their cries for activism and queer rep are performative. they do not truly care about queer characters or queer representation and i think most people could smell that from a mile away. these people have always been way more concerned with their own ship than with anything else. they like to pretend that if you don't ship The Thing or if you don't hate bucktommy then you must not want eddie to be queer or even like his character and that's. a thought lol. but i think it's really interesting why they've come to that conclusion.

like for me, i love eddie enough that i don't have to change his character to make him something that i like. i love eddie enough to allow him to be his own character outside of my own interpretation of his queerness and outside of his relationship with buck. but at the same time i also love eddie enough to see myself in him and create theories about his identity. these two things co-exist: seeing the character for what the canon shows me he is AND seeing the character for what i'd like him to be. i think most people are able to find the balance and be pretty normal about it. i think these people are genuinely so far deep into whatever they want the story to be that they have to rewrite canon to fit that perception of the character and feel threatened when that gets pointed out.

which again, like i truly do not give a shit if you do cherry pick canon, just don't come for people who are like hey you know that's just your headcanon right? like don't act like your own interpretation is better than anyone else's. it's not, it's still just an interpretation. i do read eddie as queer while still acknowledging that within the canon universe, he is identified as a straight man by canon. which makes my reading of him just a headcanon (aka canon in your head but not anywhere else), no less valid and important but still not the story they may be trying to tell.

i've talked about this a little bit before but i think a lot of the issue here is the idea of playing nice and remembering that this is all pretend which i don't think they've really had to deal with before. a lot of these people have never been confronted with another big kid on the block. their ship has kind of held precedent for a really long time, along with their headcanons and their ideas of what these characters are. so now that buck actually is bisexual and is dating a man, who isn't eddie, suddenly their entire worldview of canon breaks down.

now there's canon gay representation. now you don't have a moral argument to justify your ship bc that thing you've been begging for, "canon bi buck/more canon queer characters" does exist. so now what are you arguing for? just a preferred ship? no that can't be, it must be more than, we must be fighting for something bigger.

but now you're forced to confront that it's all just headcanons and vibes and theories that have ran unchallenged for years and years. so now you have a group of people who do not know how to grapple with the reality they are being shown vs the reality they've created in their heads clashing against people who are fans of the same reality the show lives in and don't really care about the non-canon anymore. which, if that's your prerogative, if you prefer non-canon stuff, then go for it, that's what fandom is for, but the issue here is that they view this as genuinely a threat. they don't want any other interpretation. it doesn't just feel like a threat to their ship, it feels like a threat to the canon world they've created about these characters. they see other people coming in excited for something that isn't their thing, and now feel like we're taking something away from them. they don't want to see canon anymore, even if it's something they used to claim they want. they don't want queer rep, they want to be proven right.

[dukeofdelirium]

https://www.tumblr.com/greenfiend/760014880863649792

these people are gonna explode when S5 drops

“who cares about his crush”

1) it isn’t a crush, he’s in love w Mike and

2) hundreds of thousands of ppl care just on tumblr alone

“the story is about monsters”

I mean… yeah, somewhat. But those monsters very clearly represent something. Like homophobia and the AIDS epidemic, which tie in to Will’s character and also into Mike and Will’s relationship. I mean, the allusions to this have been very on the nose every season, especially s2 with how the doctors/scientists treated Will in comparison to how gay men were treated during the AIDS epidemic.

“His scenes are pointless distraction from the larger story”

Will is literally the confirmed main character and focal point of the 5th and final season. He was the entire reason this story even happened at all. He was the one singled out and taken to the upside down. He was the focal point of the entirety of s2. And in s3 and s4, the moment he isn’t the focus, the show declines in quality. The entire time that Will is focused on in these seasons, the writing forces you to feel bad for him and forces you to simultaneously hate anything and anyone that is upsetting him. S3 and s4 weren’t about some gay kid pining hopelessly over an unattainable straight friend. It was written to make you hate Mike and El together. It was written to make you want Mike to be with Will where he actually acts like himself again. It wasn’t about Will being alone and sad, it was about Mike not being with him when you know he should be.

What do these ppl think is gonna happen in s5? Do they actually think that Will is going to confess his undying love for Mike that is unrequited and that Mike will be like “that’s weird of you Will and I don’t feel the same but we can stay besties <3” and then Will is like “no Mike I totally get it, I’m gonna kms now so you an El can go to the local village with 3 waterfalls” and then he just walks into the upside down and dies and it all fades away or something? 😂😂😂😂😂

The upside down, the monsters, all of it is a manifestation of Will’s trauma and emotions. It’s a metaphor for the homophobia and abuse he has experienced as a young gay kid, as well as being closeted as a survival tactic… hello, Will is trapped in a cold, dark and lifeless world where nothing can survive (he can’t breathe, the air is toxic, it’s suffocating) and he is forced to hide there but he is really good at hiding (bc you get really good at hiding who you are in order to live) and his best friend Mike, who is literally a Paladin in D&D (like his knight in shining armor) must rescue him from this scary world (the closet) *wink wink nudge nudge*

It’s literally a gay love story between childhood friends with the cool sci-fi and horror elements tacked on enough to where you won’t notice it until you either care enough to analyze the show OR you watch the final season and it slaps you across the face in a very unsubtle way (byler endgame)

[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic 1D fics]

Iconic Fics by...

- taggiecb -

[1]

“So, you like it when people tell you what to do?” Louis asks, more cheeky than he feels. Louis is nervous. Nervous because this is going to be a thing, or nervous because this is a thing that Louis has never done before, he doesn’t know.

“Not everyone.” Harry replies, and it’s rough, like he hasn’t spoken in days.

“Just me again?” Louis leans in, and Harry’s breath hitches.

“Yeah.” He replies, mostly whispers.

[2]

“Oh you oblivious walnut,” she says. He lifts his head to see her shaking her head with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Excuse me?” He asks.

“You truly don’t see it?” She snorts.

“See what?”

“H, I love you. And I respect your decisions, but please let me just give you a nugget of advice?” She leans in and reaches for one of his hands.

He nods, wanting her to just fix his life and be done with it.

“Take away the gay/straight/bi aspect that you think this is about. Take away you being a man, and Louis being a man, and Keith being a man. Take that all out for a second. Take yourself out of it for a moment.” She smiles at him although it looks a bit sympathetic. “I don’t think that you are bothered by the idea of two men being intimate. I think you are bothered by Louis being intimate with someone that isn’t you.”

[3]

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I didn’t say I did, did I? It’s my honour,” Louis says. The words sound foreign on his tongue, as if he was talking to a stranger, not Harry.

A corner of Harry’s lips twitch up, picking up on Louis’ own nerves. “Honour?”

“Privilege?” Louis tries instead. Harry contemplates a bit and shakes his head, rejecting that word as well. “How about pleasure?”

“I can get on board with pleasure,” Harry says, his dimples giving away his fierce attempt not to smile. Louis doesn’t have such restraint and practically laughs and giggles his way through the rest of the song.

The song is unfamiliar to him, and it’s impossible to know how long it lasted, but it felt like a lifetime and less than a second all at the same time. As soon as the last notes play, Harry releases him and steps away. The spell is broken, but at the same time, Louis feels like something has just begun.

[4]

Moving on, Harry is moving on. He isn’t too proud a person to admit that Louis’ rejection stung. That moment at the wedding, his mother's wedding, Harry thinks with a chill running down his spine, was everything that Harry had imagined it would be. Louis was so willing and just took what Harry wanted to offer.  But that didn't seem to change anything when he looked  into Louis’ eyes and all Harry could see was disappointment.  

At least now he knows. Even if he can't have Louis now, he won't have to wonder what his skin tastes like or the look of passion on his face while Harry is inside him. He just has to now convince himself that it was enough.

He thinks he's doing an alright job of it. His main focus has always been his career. He just throws himself into his next client and tells himself that Louis Tomlinson isn't the be all end all of beautiful faces and beautiful bodies. He can most definitely move on.

Or at least that's what he thought until he saw the Daily Mail Article pop up in his news feed.

- answers below -

1. Reduce Me To A Pleading Cry (Break The Skin and Tantalize) 

As the CEO of Styles & Styles, Harry Styles cuts a brooding and handsome figure at the helm of a very successful business. His reputation for intensity is well known, but you would be intense, too, if you had to work numbers all day, give countless orders, and conduct endless meetings. When all you really want to do at night--ache to do--is give away the reins, let someone else make the decisions, be ordered around for once, just--let go. Harry has reached his breaking point when one touch from a man whose very stance commands attention leads him back to a place he thought he’d never return.

Or Harry is a broody submissive boss, Louis is a natural dom who works in the mail room at Styles & Styles, Niall is a matchmaking oracle, and a slender, dark haired man stands mute at the coffee stand encouraging others to spill their secrets.

2. Saw It In Your Eyes

Harry Styles counts himself extremely lucky that he has landed such a great roommate. It doesn’t bother him at all that his new roommate is gay. In fact, they get along so well that they have formed an extremely close friendship that takes up pretty much all his free time. When Louis starts bringing a new guy home with him, Harry is surprised by how much it bothers him. Is he not as okay as he thought he was with Louis’ sexuality?

Or the one where Harry is an oblivious walnut.

3. That's What I'm Here For

Louis Tomlinson is a dairy farmer on a tiny farm in eastern Canada. His wife of nearly thirty years has left him and his children are all grown up and out of the house. Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him his children know just the man for the job.

4. Why Can't It Be Like That

Louis Tomlinson, head of his local hospital's charity fund, suddenly finds himself in the heart of the Royal family when his mother marries the third son of the reigning monarch. Such an upset in lifestyle brings a lot of changes for Louis, one of them being the need for a stylist.

Enter Harry Styles, a cutting edge fashion stylist who loves his job and prides himself on his passion. The first time he sees Louis Tomlinson on the cover of a tabloid he wants to dress him, style him, make him as beautiful as Harry knows he could be. When he's hired to do just that, he knows this will be a perfect partnership. That is, until he actually meets the man.

A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn't need a stylist, Harry's thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they're both very wrong about each other.

[findafight]

On the one-sided harringrove post- I feel it becomes infinitely funnier with bi steve. He likes men, just not Billy. Never Billy.

Oh yeah. When Billy fiiiirst comes to school with his music blaring Steve is head over heels for Nancy, so he might register that the guy with the Camaro and loud music has a good ass, but then billy opens his mouth and Steve is like "oh, no ass can make up for that personality." And continues with his life.

Just. Okay I like to project just a liiiiittle on Steve with him just. Not realizing his attraction to men isn't a straight thing. Like. Of course all straight people feel that way, you just kinda ignore it or don't do anything about it. So Steve is half way between being comfortable in his sexuality and being closeted to himself because buddy used Hawkeye Pierce as the blueprint of straightness.

So Billy is out here, wallowing in self hatred and internalized homophobia, hating Steve and wanting Steve and hating that he wants Steve and wishing Steve would pay attention to him enough for a hate fuck he can cry about later, and it's all very angsty. All the while Steve is just actually completely fine with thinking a dude is hot he's just got standards that include "not racist" "doesn't try to beat up kids" "hasn't made me blackout from head trauma"

Wait. Oh no. I feel an au coming on. Shit. Au where post S2 Robin hears piano coming from the band room after hours and is her curious self going "I must see who is this mysterious genius" and it's Steve. They get to talking and hanging out and all of a sudden Robin thinks they are actually good friends. Best friends. Somehow.

Cue them going to a band party together. Someone spikes their drinks with waayyyy more than they were expecting so they are blasted. Robin has to go pee but does not want to go alone so she drags Steve into the bathroom with her and makes him face away. He's like haha Woah you really had to pee. And she goes shut upppp and washes her hands but sits across from him. Steve smiles at her and gives her his speech about how amazing she is and how glad he is to be her friend (it is like March '85 so he is still not ready to get back out into dating yet). Robin tells him about Tammy. They sing. Someone slams the door open and kicks them out of the bathroom because there's a fuckin line.

They lay on the grass outside and look at the sky. Steve like. Caaaaasually mentions once having thought he was gonna marry Tommy when he was six and then realizing you just didn't do anything about those feelings and Robin's gotta shoot up going WHAT!! WHAAAT? Because it sounded like Steve coming out to her? Right after?? She came out to him??

And Steve is like yeah. Like you don't really have to? Easier to ignore it and flirt with girls who I like or think are hot. And poor Robin's brain is melting she's like please Steve I'm really drunk are you telling me you sometimes want to kiss boys? And he's like yes, obviously, everyone does. Just like everyone also wants to sometimes kiss girls. Except lesbians I guess who only want to kiss girls? And gay guys only want to kiss guy? Yeah that makes sense and straight people don't care but go for the opposite ya know?

Robin is like NO!! And calms down some and says "okay I'm telling you this because you are my friend and you just told me almost the same thing. Steve. I like girls and only like girls. That not a straight thing"

"yeah. You've said."

"but I am ninety nine percent positive that just because you like girls doesn't mean you're straight because you also like boys."

"what"

"yeah dude, I do not think this is a heterosexual experience you're describing. I'm not an expert but. Yeah.

"oh. Huh."

"yep."

"I definitely thought it was."

"your brain is so weird I'm still kind of obsessed with you."

"haha. Honestly I'm kind of obsessed with you. This is wild."

"well. At least I know you're stuck with me."

"ohhh nooooo whatever will I do with my best friend always around..."

ANYWAYS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS is not in fact the stobin. It's actually that

Sometime probably in may, when Steve is ready to be on the dating scene again, he gets with Eddie. Robin is happy for him but also so mad because he went from "probably shouldn't act gay even tho everyone feels a little gay sometimes" to "hey Robin what would you say if I said I got a boyfriend?" In less than two months. How does he have straight AND gay game. That's not fair.

Steddie getting together is a non event. Eddie is still like ewww sports and yet somehow he made out with Steve Harrington and the next day Steve asked if he wanted to get milkshakes and throw rocks into the quarry to see the splashes. Eddie must restrain himself from thinking it's a date because he knows it's not but it'd also be the perfect date (Eddie is a simple man)

At the end of the night steve kissed his cheek and says "I had a really great time..."

Eddie just blurted "hey do you want to be my boyfriend?"

To which Steve perks up like "yes! I'd like that!"

And Eddie didn't actually think he'd get that far so he was like "neat!! See you tomorrow!" before slamming the door in Steve's face.

So they're dating and Eddie disparages sports but Steve is like haha aw you don't like watching me play? Which is sooo mean to Eddie because obviously?? He likes?? Watching his boyfriend??? Run around in tiny shorts and sometimes shirtless?? He has to reevaluate some things he supposes.

All while this is happening Billy is still on his Greatest Homoerotic Rivals shtick with Steve. Eddie notices and is like to dude...what is with Billy? And Steve just sighs. Says Billy is weird and obsessed with him and glares all the time. It's a whole thing. Billy is pissed because what is Steve, his epic rival, doing hanging around some random band geek, his sister's bitchass friends, and maybe the local dealer.

Alright. Grad happens. Yay Steve! Poor Eddie. They go to some party , hang out with people, sell some drugs, etc. Billy is unfortunately also at this party, and is like. Lazer eyes boring into Steve's back. Very annoying. At some point, he sees Steve slip away and is like this is my chance so he follows him.

Howmever he comes across Steve, his epic and totally heterosexual rival, making out with Eddie the freak Munson.

And listen this is a scary thing to be caught inna town like Hawkins, but that's not the point of this post.

So Billy goes "what the hell?"

They turn around. Billy is still spluttering.

"what are you-why would you-- with him?!" He says.

Steve raises his eyebrows, alllll cocky confidence. He smirks a bit. Drawls. "Well, yeah. I like cock, billy. Just not yours."

Because the point of this post is that Steve is a bitch.

Thank you.