#so yeah dad guys murder time woohoo

[bbeeohazardd]

i was thinking of what would happen story-wise after Rory got attacked by Casey and was like "man i don't think Rory would even be able to go to court due to money or all his background shit,,,also i have no idea how legal shit works fuck how im i gonna make this work" and then i realized that Sam and Max would be okay with murder after what happened so i think i might go with that

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 13

humansona time, hell yes

OH MAN I forgot about the stuff w/swerve and blurr oof

that panel of perceptor just saying random equations always kills me vhsdjhfkbjhksdfnka

also I love so much that they call perceptor ‘percy’ that's so cute

I love the implications here that people just Grab minibots and carry them around like luggage bc they are Tiny lmao

ohhhh my god I fuckgin love ‘I'm just wondering if there's time to expand my aura and cleanse the area of aggression’ ‘I...don't think so, drift’ hgbadjfjbaskdfs drift’s hippy nonsense delivered completely seriously pairs hilariously with his whole ‘violent guy with a bunch of swords’ thing lmao

also, IM NEVER OVER CYCLONUS SINGING TO TAILGATE, and also the security team mistaking it for cyclonus murdering tg hbhkjadfbjkhsdf cyclonus u icon

and tg looking at cyclonus all heart-eyes, omg 

drift showing rodimus how to swordfight...fellas.....

rodimus, being entirely ignorant to the irony in calling cyclonus and tailgate’s relationship strange when he and drift are Right There, being weird gay frat bros

did yall know, I love magnus so much. law dad

magnus saying ‘that's not even a word. id have heard of it’ about the word ‘relax’ is so funny god 

rodimus bribing swerve with a bar license to get magnus turnt is hbvhjakdbfhskf

never over rodimus portioning out drifts blood money to the crew for shore leave hubhjsdkhfdbjksd god 

despite tg lying about a good amount of his past, I feel like he rlly DOES see cyclonus as a link to a more familiar time, and that's a large reason why he’s so forgiving toward cyc

mannnn the stuff w/blurr and swerve is so depressing in retrospect. swerve is like, such a depressing character the more you think abt him vbhskjdhfbsk jesus

magnus trying to get in on the convo when swerve starts talking statistics oh magnus

idk what ‘the lube pits’ are but I Really do not want to know

‘the temple of the raging prism’ sounds fuckin bangin tho

I love seeing everyones humansona!! this art style is pretty simple, but I think it looks cute

rungs ‘human name’ being ‘mary sue’ lmaoooooo jro w/the self callout

also skids’ name being blank is a nice touch

still not over tg being a baby....poor guy

whirls humansona is so fuckgin good, also swerve looks like a hobbit

magnus basing his avatar on verity is so sweet ;_; I really should read all the wreckers stuff after I finish this reread

THE ABSOLUTE COMEDY OF MAGNUS JUST FUCKGIN PASSING OUT THE INSTANT THE ALOCHOL HITS...ICONIC

WHY would magnus accept a drink from whirl anyways lmao

tailgate is so cute

they rlly just left magnus facedown on the table and kept drinking huh. the irresponsibility....we love it

ARE YOU SURE THAT KILLMASTER IS DEAD, WHIRL? ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

rung don't lie, froid is your nemesis

WHY do we never get to hear more about skids’ apparent beef with misfire

rewind calling the swerve/misfire This early, wow

literally Everyone abandoning swerve to deal with magnus hgbvhfjdskdfbhs I fucking love this issue man

GOD I LOVE MAGNUS SO MUCH!!!!!!!! he’s such an interesting and unique character and hhhh I love him and his development

like, he was probably the biggest surprise out of everyone who agreed to go on the quest - ostensibly it was to keep order on the lost light, but it would make sense that magnus would get tired of being the Only one who cares about that sorta stuff on board 

drunk magnus is such a delight oh my god

magnus rlly just wants everyone to be safe :( my daddddd

magnus: I love all my children equally...swerve, rodimus, [looks at smudged writing on hand] dirt

swerve: see, magnus, that’s where you’re wrong - I ALSO have crippling depression!

cant believe they bought rodimus a hat vhbhksdfhahsjkdf

HHHHH GOD I FORGOT ABT THATTTT when cyclonus goes bonkers in order to stop rewind from playing the ark 1 footage and inadvertently outing tailgate as a liar....AUGHHHHH THE FUCKING...THE FUCKING ROMANCE OF IT ALL

POOR MAGNUS LMAOOOO

oh rewind :( you should really wonder a little harder where chromedome is right now...oof

everyone jumping on magnus while he’s passed tf out is SO fucking funny 

RUNG, PLEASE, WE REALLY DONT NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHATS AROUND THE CORNER. REALLY DONT

hhhhhhhhhhh I love how cyclonus sat tailgate down and confronted him about lying, but did it privately and not in front of everyone - and he even saved tg from being exposed as a liar, too. AUGH 

I feel like cyclonus is kinda impressed at how effortlessly tg has managed to lie this whole time, and tbh it IS impressive, especially considering tailgate was basically teleported 6 million years into the future and has no idea how the world works anymore, but was still able to lie convincingly. even cyclonus only realized bc of his own past, and not until now

tailgate ;_; ;_; ;_; 

cyclonus: oh no...im soft

tailgate and cyclonus singing ye olde cybertronian tunes together...OUGHHHH my fucking heart bro mY FUCKING HEART.

on that note: the song ‘to noise making (sing)’ by hozier is literally about cygate. thank u for coming to my ted talk

UGH GOD SWERVE STOP MAKING ME SO SAD, ITS NOT EVEN THE SWEARTH ARC YET

magnus had to like, get the robot equivalent of a stomach pumping after that hvbskdjfbhskdf jesus they really did almost kill him huh

I consider this issue forshadowing bc it makes 100% sense that minimus would be a Mega Lightweight considering he’s like 3 feet tall

the real quest that swerve is participating in is ‘the quest to get friends’ and so far its going pretty badly. poor dude 

godddd the thing that says ‘next: Overlord!’ with a fucking exclamation point I DONT APPRECIATE THAT. 

OHO i forgot abt the canon fanfic at the end of this issue

rung kicking things off with some good ole bodily workings-based dread 

ok but being so awed by the construction of your species’ anatomy that you wanna fall on the floor in amazement? that's a whole ass mood and I do frequently stare at walls for long periods of time, thinking about the marvel that is the human body. so rung is valid 

FROID NAME DROP LMAO. also yet again, are you SURE he’s dead?? are you????

the name ‘froid’ cracked me up almost as much as ‘rigor morphis’ did when I first read this...robot-based science puns! woohoo!

rung rlly b out here thinking abt overlords lips.....

‘forced browsing is not the autobot way’ lmao skids

also fr tailgate defs thinks that whirls actually name is nutjob

the entire segment of cyclonus browsing and everyone watching him and commenting is just. golden

oh no. don't make me think of rewind and his tiny memory sticks that he carries around. I'm NOT READY

magnus’ brutal read on rodimus and the fact that he’s more suited, personality-wise, to wartime than peacetime? oof. love it

I ALSO love that a big part of this issue was magnus admitting, in less direct terms, that HE isn't made for the post-war life either - his strict adherence to the rules and constant vigilance isn't exactly the best mindset for peacetime, for him or the people under his command

magnus’s hatred of metaphors and similes and the like....hvbsdjkfbasjhdf I love him

MAGNUS ILY...he’s trying SO HARD cut him some slack. i think his jokes are. yeah!

oh goody this text used "rodimus’s" so I guess that's canonically correct and I haven't been using grammar incorrectly as I had feared 

rodimus sitting ON his desk and doodling on it...adhd icon

rodimus calling rung a psychotherapist, which was rung’s grounds for a nemesis hvbhjabfdskfnkks

rung: as I'm sure you know I take patient confidentiality VERY seriously

narrator: That Was A Lie 

AUGH this hurts...rung trying to get justice for red alert but rodimus is in on the overlord stuff :( ouch

so issue 13! I fucking love this issue. just some good ole funney space hijinks, with some nice relationship development for tg and cyc - plus a revelation about tailgate - and some characterization for swerve and magnus. plus we get to see humansonas, which is always fun. augh I love this comic, and I am SO not ready for the next few issues, good lord

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 9: Monkey See, Monkey Do

Sources:

Helen Martini

Museum of the City of New York

IMDB

British Pathé (YouTube)

New York Heritage Digital Collections

Further Reading: My Zoo Family,  Cubs in the Tub, Mother to Tigers

Dian Fossey

Biography

BBC Earth

National Geographic: The Renegade Scientist Who Taught Us To Love Gorillas

Zoologist Dian Fossey: A Storied Life With Gorillas

Lady Science

DW: Made For Minds

Alana’s Surprise Lady

The Age

SF Gate

Kokoflix (YouTube)

PBS

Gorilla Foundation

New York Times

NPR

Washington Post

ABC News

National Geographic

National Geographic (YouTube)

60 Minutes Australia (YouTube)

Attributions:

birdsong, water splash, Zoos & Young Animals, Under Water

Click below for a full text transcript of this episode!

Haley: A brief warning about the following episode of Lady History: this episode contains sensitive topics such as murder, violence, and racism.

Archival Audio: Gorilla at Large! The most murderous, destructive beast man has ever seen! Gorilla at Large! In 3D and color by Technicolor!

Lexi: Alana, do you want to share your good news?

Alana: I do, I have very good news. So, in– I think it was episode five– we very subtly mentioned that GW had to let me into school so that Lexi and I could live together and um… Actually the same day that episode seven came out, we found out that GW let me into grad school.

Lexi: Woohoo!!

Haley: I feel like that's a universe telling you like “here is why” if it aired on the same day.

Alana: Yeah, definitely. I really think like. My dad was like “did you put– did you talk about your podcast on your application” and I was like yeah. I listened to– the suffragist episode? I listened like four times the day it came out. I was like this is so good. We're so good at this.

(Lexi laughing)

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I’ve run out of ways to say that we're on Zoom but Lexi what's the difference between monkeys and apes?

Lexi: Like. You want me to scientifically give you the difference?

Alana: Sure.

Lexi: Monkeys have tails.

Alana: Monkeys do have tails.

Lexi: There's a lot more but like monkeys do have tails. And that's the easy way to tell. So please, when you take your child to the zoo do not call the chimps or gorillas or orangutans or bonobos monkeys. As someone who previously worked in a zoo, and witnessed mothers and nannies telling their children “look at the monkey sweetie” to an intelligent ape, I… Nope. Mm. Okay.

Alana: That's why I picked that question for you. Also, Haley. Haley, what’s your favorite zoo?

Haley: I am a zoo connoisseur. I love zoos. Love me some animals but I'm going to have to go with my hometown, my first zoo ever was the Bronx Zoo. I have many memories, some scary, some pleasant, some very confusing but generally just like would ten out of ten live there.

Alana: And I'm Alana and my personality is fifty percent I love aquariums.

Haley: No.

Alana: Why are you shaking your head at me Haley?

Lexi: I also love aquariums.

Haley: Fish freak me out.

Lexi: Aquariums freak you out?

Haley: Fish and birds like, scare me on a personal level.

Lexi: Those are my favorite animals! I had a fish tank in my nursery as a baby. I think that's where my parents went wrong because I got a degree in museum studies and I just want to work with living collections that would be fantastic, so hit me up, any zoo in America. Actually, any zoo in the world. I am mobile. I am single. I do have a parrot so if your country does not allow parrots to come in from foreign countries please consider me off your list. But if I can bring a parrot into your country and you want me to work in a zoo or aquarium hit me up.

Haley: Cal Academy is right for you, that's where I– very close to where I currently live and they have like their live collection. I thought their penguins were fake. Like I did not realize because the way– Okay, the way the Cal Academy is set up is that when you walk in you’re greeted with this like giant forest– like what is called, atrium? Aviary is for the birds, right? So this is just like a whole encapsule of foliage and you can see some like butterflies go around and you can see the beginning of the aquarium, and the whole bottom floor is the aquarium and it's really really cool. You also have like an albino or white alligator. I forget what the guy's name is called, but it's like a white alligator that they have to– if he ever gets hurt and like he starts bleeding, since he’s white it's very noticeable they have to like hide him to not scare the children it’s a whole thing. Oh, the penguins. The penguins are in like their African, early human wing which are all taxidermy animals or like faux bones those like display of human origins like the Smithsonian and then one wall it's just penguins and then they started moving I truly just jumped out of my skin. This was like at a…  the first time I went was at like an adult night, 21 and older, you get a drink, you walk around the like, museum.

Alana: That’s sexy. I want to go to that.

Haley: I had like a beer in me and then the penguins started moving. People have like very mixed feelings on the Cal Academy but it's mostly people who like hate zoos, and like don’t understand that like some zoos are actually decent. Like it’s– we're not talking about GW Tiger King zoo, we’re talking about like–

Lexi: That's not a zoo. That's just not a zoo.

Alana: That’s not a zoo!

Haley: The amount of people who have fought me when I'm like “I love zoos” they're like “animals should be wild” and it's like “no. You do not put a hurt penguin back with its herd.” Like the elephant missing a tusk? Is not going to do well. Like GW Tiger King zoo? Not a zoo. That’s just–

Lexi: Science is important.

Alana: Science is important!

Lexi: The zoos on Tiger King, not science. When you go to a zoo, or are considering going to a zoo, look up what their contributions to scientific research and animal welfare are. If they are not AZA certified, do not go there. There was an incident recently in which the Pittsburgh Zoo, which used to be AZA certified, became un-AZA certified. It’s still an okay zoo but like in general look for AZA certifications. But the thing about AZA zoos is they follow a species survival plan, which means they don't decide when and where the animals go. There is a larger conglomerate that decides when animals need to be moved around. And so if one zoo needs a gorilla that will breed with another gorilla because that is what is best for gorillas all over the world, they will move the gorilla. They get a private plane and they take the gorilla with the keeper to meet its new keeper and that's where the gorilla moves because it's all about the science and the species preservation.

Alana: I really like the New England Aquarium and I'm not just saying that because I hope Erin Keif is listening. Um, even though I do hope she’s listening. Hi, Erin! We think you’re really cool!

Lexi: The aquarium in your homeland is beautiful.

Alana: It's so cool. I love the big old tube and then you like walk up around the tube. I think that's dope. I love that. That's like their main exhibit and I think it's so cool. I also saw like– I was in Boston maybe ten years ago; little more, little less, and there were like jellyfish! Right off the docks! Because we’re killing the turtles! That’s what I learned at the New England Aquarium!

Archival Audio: The llama family and cousins are all in the market for babysitters. While Mrs Helen Martini serves in that capacity for 3 little tiger kittens, born of parents themselves born and raised at the zoo, the triplets are concerned mainly with calories and vitamins and rather resent the working press. They're not up to scratch, yet, but they sure know the proper facial expressions. What a picture they make! (Tiger cub meowing sound)

Lexi: So, Haley, we were talking about your favorite zoo in the world. What was that zoo?

Haley: The Bronx Zoo.

Lexi: And do you know much about the history of the Bronx Zoo?

Haley: I probably used to, you're gonna have to fill me in on this one.

Lexi: Do you know who the first female zookeeper of the Bronx Zoo was? 

Haley: Your lady?

Lexi: Yes! Helen Martini!

Alana: Her name is Martini? 

Lexi: Yes, her name is Martini. So like, wonderful. We’re already off to a great start. But yes that is when talking about today so I thought it was very relevant that you mentioned how much you love the Bronx Zoo, that it's your home turf, because it was her home turf too. So a quick preface to our upcoming story, finding digital sources on Helen is extremely difficult. I had a really hard time with it. It appears very little has been published about her, particularly online and she doesn't even have a Wikipedia page, so for information about her life I had to use an IMDB page that exists for her, which I'm not sure if it's accurate and I'm not sure why it even exists, she was not a movie star. So take all this info on her early years with a tiny grain of salt. Once she actually starts being involved with the zoo that's when the information gets a little more accurate. Helen Martini was born on June 5, 1912 in Newfoundland, Canada. Her father, Matthew Delaney, was a merchant seaman and Helen was born with an eye problem that doctors told her parents would result in her eventually going blind. After father's death in 1925, her mother took her to New York to undergo eye operations. These operations helped protect her sight. Some attribute her caring personality to this turning point in her life. As an adult, Helen married a man named Fred. He worked as a jeweler and the couple lived in an apartment in the Bronx. Fred and Helen decided to have a baby, but unfortunately lost their child due to miscarriage. Helen was told by doctors that she would never be able to have a child. Helen turned her attention to caring for fur babies instead. She and Fred became diligent pet owners and avid animal lovers. The couple also lived close to the Bronx Zoo, and frequently visited the furry friends that lived there. One day, Helen saw an ad for an open position at the Bronx Zoo. At the time, American zoos only hired men as zookeepers. So Helen did what any sensible woman in mid-century America would do. She encouraged her husband to quit his job as a jeweler and apply to become a zookeeper. Fred had no formal training or experience in zoology, but he got the job. Fred became the keeper of the lion house, which was home to an array of big cat species. In 1942, a lioness had a cub and refused to care for it. Worried it would die, Fred decided he needed to enlist the help of the best animal mom he knew- his own wife Helen. Helen took in the cub and named him Macarthur, in honor of General Macarthur. Helen cared for the cub in her and Fred’s apartment, following the zoo’s protocols for care. At the age of 2 months, Macarthur was thriving and he returned to the zoo to live among other lions. Two years later, the zoo’s female tiger gave birth to three cubs. She abandoned all of them, refusing to nurse or care for them. Helen, who had successfully saved Macarthur, was again called upon to care for the baby big cats. She cared for the three cubs in her apartment, just like Macarthur, but the zoo had no set protocols for abandoned baby tigers. There was no guide for her to follow, as the Bronx Zoo had never successfully raised orphan baby tigers before. Helen, determined to succeed and help save the animals, used her own motherly instincts, her previous experience working with lions, and extensive research to develop a method for rearing the cubs. Much of her method was improvised, and used trial and error. Eventually, she developed the perfect diet to get the tigers fit; milk and water in the early days, then the addition of chopped meat as they grew. All three cubs became strong and were able to go back to the zoo. Helen had become a successful zookeeper, all without ever being paid or rewarded in any way. So the Bronx Zoo decided to do the unthinkable- hire a woman. Helen was officially hired as a zookeeper and became America's first woman to work as a professional zookeeper. Her role was to care for baby animals, and she established the Bronx Zoo's first nursery. She converted an old storage space into a place for orphaned and abandoned baby animals. Helen still cared for the youngest babies who needed round the clock care in her apartment, but the older couples are able to thrive in a space all their own. In 1945, Helen was a household name in the Bronx, known by many as a woman with tiger cubs in her apartment. Photographers from Look magazine visited her home, documenting the unique situation of her and her husband. Baby tigers rummaged through the fridge, sat in Helen's armchair, and even rummaged through the cameraman's bag. Helen did not stop at just lions and tigers. She knew other baby animals at the zoo would not be able to thrive if their mother stopped caring for them. Throughout her career, she also raised black leopards, marmosets, jaguars, gorillas, deer, antelopes, and even skunks. Her favorite of this was still, of course, the tigers. Before her retirement in 1960, she had raised 27 tigers in total. In 1951, newsreel video of Helen shows her caring for a baby gorilla named Mambo and refers to her as an “ardent disciple of Spock and Gessell” two child care experts of the era. In the video, Helen feeds baby Mambo from a bottle and sets him in his crib for a nap. You can watch this clip on YouTube and I will include the link on our Tumblr. In 1953, Helen and Fred published a book of photographs and stories which they called “My Family Zoo.” In this book, Helen mentions personal accounts of her favorite animals- Bagheera the leopard, Ugly the howler monkey, Zambezi the lion, Dolly the deer, and Dacca, her beloved tiger cub who went on to have cubs of her own, making Helen a tiger grandma. Unfortunately, this book is out of print and extremely rare. The cheapest copies seem to cost around $60 today. Helen has also inspired several modern children's books including “Cubs in the Tub” and “Mother to Tigers” which are both about her raising the three initial tiger cubs. Helen's work establishing a nursery at the Bronx Zoo was revolutionary in the world of zoology and zoo management. Through her efforts, dozens of vulnerable baby animals were saved and went on to live healthy lives as ambassadors for their species. Her observations of their behaviour and reflections on the issues of raising baby wild animals in captivity provided a foundation of understanding for future zookeepers. Helen, who brought motherly kindness and a caring nature to the zoo, is proof that sometimes a woman's touch is all an industry needs to progress. Also, I just wanna make a quick plea that if any of you are skilled Wikipedia editors, please help my girl Helen get on there and link it to the Bronx Zoo page so that people can find her because she is so cool and there are not many resources on her out there.

Alana: I have a question. Is Bagheera named after The Jungle Book Bagheera?

Lexi: I believe so, but it could just be a coincidence. But it sounds like it, probably.

Alana: It seems like it.

Lexi: Yeah.

Alana: I remember people were talking about the… it's like my mom's favorite song from Jungle Book, where King Louis, the orangutan king, is like singing with Mowgli and people are like “that's racist” and I'm like. I have bad news for you guys. About the Jungle Book. Bad news about Rudyard Kipling.

Lexi: Ruining their childhoods.

Alana: Yeah, for real. It’s like I… I… I have bad news, you know that guy, the guy who wrote The Jungle Book? He also wrote something called “The White Man's Burden” about how it's white people's job to civilize people of color. So maybe… beating a dead horse a little bit.

Archival Audio: In a land, in a forest grim and grand, where the chimpanzees and the cinnamon trees live a simple life with the simianese, a big gorilla he.

Haley: Born in 1932, she is known as the woman who gave her life to save the gorillas. Dian Fossey lead an incredible life and this story is definitely a roller coaster. Honestly guys this might have been the like hardest story for me to write because one, there's so much information about her out there, a lot of that information is conflicting. Based on the author's bias. It is also something that like. Like 1932 is not that far away it's less than a hundred years and it's not like she was– she… born and died between like before 1950. She's kinda more relevant. She knows Jane Goodall, we'll get into all of that. A lot of that information was hard to dissect. Let's– let's hope I did a good enough job for y’all. Please don't come out– come after me if I left something out. I could honestly go on for hours this could have been like a two parter for me. Alright. Let's start this history book at the beginning. Dr Dian Fossey was born and raised in San Francisco, California and she grew up in an environment surrounded by animals. So much so that she wanted to be a veterinarian, and fun fact she was an avid horseback rider so we got a horse gal for us here. Fast forward a little bit. Dian Fossey didn't really study veterinary, but she was still in the whole helping people, helping animals– because like humans are animals– and graduated with an occupational therapy degree. Moved to Louisville, Kentucky where she was the director of the Kosair Crippled Children’s Hospital as an occupational therapist or she was the head of that department. This was in 1955 hence the dumb name. I really hope that wasn't the name but it was in 1955. There she also was living on a farm so she couldn’t super get away from animals because she did own some, had the whole farm life. But it wasn't enough to fulfil her adventurous side, and as the years went on, she was kind of itching to do something more and going back to animals seemed like the obvious choice. So in September 1963, Dian went to Africa for the first time ever. This trip not only cost her her entire life savings, but also an entire bank loan had to be taken out just so she could like go to Africa and do some research. Well, this clearly paid off because while visiting Kenya, Tanzania, and other places, she met paleoanthropologist Mary Leakey and her husband archaeologist Louis Leakey. And this is a side note like snaps they introduced her as Mary Leakey and her husband and my jaw just dropped I was like yes I was going to do this anyway! It was also the relationship that she had with the Leakeys, that she met up with Jane Goodall. And the Leakeys at this point wanted to find ways to make sure other areas– because paleoanthropology is the study of like really really old things, fossils, before human life– they are the guys who did Lucy. Af- Afric– Africanus– what was it–

Alana: Australopithecus

Haley: Austro– Someone please say it.

Lexi: Australopithecus africanus, right?

Haley: There we go. Yes, that is Lucy. It was also this relationship with the Leakeys that she was able to meet Jane Goodall. And Jane Goodall was part of this whole Leakey corporation, society, relationship, business type thing, because the Leakeys as paleoanthropologists were really interested in studying primates and how they worked genetically, historically, all that stuff with our ancestors as Australopithecus Africanus etcetera etcetera etcetera. We can truly visit this for hours and hours and hours. However, we don't have the time. So Dian kind of got the gorilla side of it and she also met with native wildlife photographers who were working on a documentary about African gorillas, and it was there that Dian was like “yes, I love gorillas, I really want to continue this, this is where I was meant to be.” And back in the States Dian kept thinking about Africa, endangered gorillas, and how she can get more involved. She ended up accepting an offer which allowed her to live among the mountain gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo and then Rwanda, because of like the civil war that was happening she had to move around, be safe. In Rwanda, she established the Karisoke Research Foundation in Rwanda's Volcanoes National Park to be like the base camp for her research. She grew her name in the primatology field and was the leader on the physiological and behavioral side of mountain gorillas. So really looking at how they interact with each other, and what individualistic qualities they resemble, so not seeing them as purely these hungry animals that will rip you from limb to limb. How did they act with their children, how did they act with their others like the male versus female, how do they act with other species in the area, all that good stuff. And her work also extended to the protection of our furry comrades by shedding light on how poachers kill gorillas and the violence against them overall. This opened up for international recognition of her work and the work to protect specifically the plummeting numbers of gorillas. So by this time, a lot of people knew her name. During this time, as she was building her framework for her research foundation, doing research herself, she obtained a PhD from Cambridge and then was now Dr Dian and continued more research through Cornell University. However, here on Lady History we have to cover the bad or the ugly. And… So… Look at the show notes for more, but I'll just give you the gist of why her as a conservationist wasn't necessarily a great woman. Like the two didn't have to blend. You can be a great conservationist but a shitty human being. Because in the eyes of the local Rwandans, they were often offended by the way she treated them. This is really like, reading this back I feel– I am getting such– just nervousness I– these are not my words, these are hers. So she would kind of call like a group meeting and go down the list of things and she just turned to locals and be like “my Africans.” It's not great. Even if it's like a little bit racist, it’s still racist. There's also instances of people not being paid on time, but I couldn't find concrete evidence more on like the foundation and research headquarters as a whole, because like she obviously, while was the head, she's not the only person in charge of things, like that’s not how like, a budding foundation worked. Many people– this is like a heavily debated topic in the fields of like how much praise do we give her because she had… she was racist at times, and she was discriminatory. But she did make these huge contributions and the lives of like endangered gorillas. She did devote much of her life to protect the “gentle gorillas” as she would call them from the human and environmental hazards. Unfortunately, her life was cut short because on December 26, 1985, she was found hacked to death. And a lot of this was kind of like circumstantial because they have not found the guilty party and prosecuted them for murder, but they believe that she was murdered by poachers at her Rwandan forest camp. Yeah, Alana’s face is dropped. It took a turn.

Lexi: You’ve never seen Gorillas in the Mist?

Alana: No!

Haley: So I watched Gorillas in the Mist, and I get to that, it's in her legacy. But my mom like turned it off or somehow– I don't remember this ending. I didn't remember that she died. And I read it again and I was like racism… Murder!

Lexi: She did that classic mom thing where you turn off the bad part of the movie.

Haley: I really think that’s what happened.

Lexi: I didn’t know there was a second VHS tape to the Sound of Music for twenty years.

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: Because the Nazis! And I’m German, so I wasn’t allowed to know there were Nazis.

Alana: Oh, that’s such a big problem!

Haley: Yeah, yeah. As you all know I like to just add a little bit of the legacy, and her legacy is still living through the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International, formerly named the Digit Fund, that's also linked in the show notes. Otherwise the book she wrote in 1983, Gorillas in the Mist, was turned into a movie, as Lexi said, which starred Sigourney Weaver in 1988. I don't know. I'm kind of stuck on this girl, on whether like, I think she's a great– she's definitely not a great human, personally, but like her contributions to science. But I just want to provide all information and be like… and let's respect that she did help the gorillas out, but probably did it in a way that we all cringe now.

(Archival music)

Alana: We've been talking about zookeepers, zoologists, primatologists, you know, that's the theme of the episode. But I feel like we're leaving a key demographic out of this discussion. So my lady for today is Koko the gorilla.

Haley: What?

Alana: Yeah.

Lexi: Fantastic.

Haley: I'm so on board for this.

Alana: Gorilla ladies are ladies.

Haley: I'm speechless

Alana: I’m so glad.

Haley: Bravo. This is fabulous, I’m excited.

Alana: Thank you. I'm also excited. So Koko was born on July 4, 1971 and her full name was Hanabi-ko which means fireworks child. And as I'm saying it I'm realizing that that's a Fourth of July reference… like, fireworks. I just got that. Isn’t that fun. And she was born at the San Francisco Zoo. She was a western lowland gorilla who– they have the best Latin name ever it's gorilla gorilla gorilla. And another woman, Dr Francine “Penny” Patterson, started working with her on sign language in 1972 when Koko was only a year old. And then Dr Patterson started the Gorilla Foundation in the Santa Cruz Mountains in 1979. Koko learned a lot of sign language. She knew at least a thousand signs and probably understood about two thousand words because Dr Patterson would talk while she was signing. And that's about the vocab of a toddler. but also like what are non human animals but toddlers? Because I walk a dog, her name is Missy, I love her very much– if she won't leave the park with me, you do that thing that you do with three year olds– “okay bye Missy”– and you walk towards the gate. And what does she do, every single time, she comes running up to me. I say “bye Missy” then she comes. Really what are animals but toddlers. She had a companion named Michael who was rescued from the jungles of Africa and they were supposed to be a breeding pair because it seemed like Koko really wanted a family, in addition to western lowland gorillas being an endangered species. And that's that whole thing about gorillas getting on airplanes with the keepers and private jets, that we were talking about earlier. They didn't actually end up breeding they just became best friends. Like just best friends and they were playmates and it was very fun. He was also learning sign language and potentially learned how to tell the story of watching his mother get killed by poachers. Which… you can learn a little bit more about that I'll leave a link to that in the show notes. So Michael died of a heart condition that's very common in gorillas, and they brought in a second breeding partner whose name was Ndume... also learned sign language. Koko did get pregnant, but she had a miscarriage and couldn't get pregnant after that. So, similar to Lexi’s lady. So instead they got her kittens. Lexi is so happy about this. This is the best story ever. In 1984– 

Lexi: Kittens… I’m sorry.

Alana: I know!

Lexi: It’s just so cute!

Alana: I know! In 1984 she adopted a kitten named All Ball that she named, by signing, because she apparently loved rhyming words in sign language. And that inspired a book called “Koko's Kitten” and it's a little kids’ book and it's still in elementary schools all over. But then the cat got hit by a car and died, which is too bad. But for her forty fourth birthday, in 2015, they got her two more kittens and she named them Miss Gray and Miss Black because they were gray and black. Here's where the story gets maybe not as fun. In 2005 Koko kind of got Me Too’d? Three employees at the foundation, three other keepers claimed that Koko asked them to lift their shirts and show her their nipples, which Dr Patterson encouraged. They settled out of court, but like they were sued. That is kind of weird, but– and I was a little bit in disbelief– but also Robin Williams, who famously met her in 2001, talked about her doing that to him. It's just– it's jarring. So that's all very Tiger King, except Dr Patterson is actually like a scientist and has published real papers and isn't horrible. When Michael died, Koko actually expressed grief for him, the same thing when Robin Williams died. The Nat Geo article announcing her death, they had a quote from some guy who really had the audacity to talk shit about zoos while they were talking about how Koko died. And this person was like “yeah she did all these cool things for science but also she shouldn’t have been in a zoo.”And I was like oh my god… Let the people mourn an icon. But she is also– Koko herself has had a lasting legacy. She expanded how we think about animals and language. Like humans have to keep adding to the definition of language so that we can exclude how other species communicate. And some people think that she was only mirroring Dr Patterson or Dr Patterson and her associates were projecting, but Koko signed to herself and there's video in a 60 Minutes Australia segment where she's signing to herself. She has a hat, that is a flowered hat, it's a flower bucket hat. It's real cute, it's something baby Alana would absolutely have worn. And so she's signing “flower” and “hat” to herself. She would also invent signs. Like, she didn’t have a word for “ring” so when she saw Dr Patterson wearing a ring, she signed “finger bracelet” which is pretty much what a ring is. So I just think that Koko… it's a lot that we can learn about grief, and how animals express grief, and how we express grief, and how we can communicate with things. Because animals absolutely learn words. Like we teach dogs words. We teach them– you know– sit, stay, all that. So they know some human words. You can teach animals words in whatever language you speak. There's a dog who comes to the park who speaks Spanish. His name is also Coco! I don't think it's the same kind of Koko though, but. Yeah so that's the story of Koko. I'm so glad you guys liked my surprise.

Lexi: I love it. I'm a big nerd about the whole Koko situation because I am a big nerd about animals talking. Linguistic anthropology has always fascinated me, and I think it extends to animals, and a lot of anthropologists don't think it should extend to animals. But I read this book in high school, because I was reading all the books about birds I could possibly find because I had one, I have one still. And the book is called “Alex and Me” and–

Haley: I know that book.

Lexi: The person who is the scientist in that story was inspired by the Koko experiments to do something similar with a bird, and because birds don't have hands, it was vocal- completely vocal communication. And the bird learned to say phrases and even once asked an existential question. So… he asked “what color Alex” which is technically an existential question. And that's how he learned what the color gray was, because he was gray. So that's really interesting that animals do that stuff.

Haley: So my grandparents, I believe I've talked about this before, basically got a male and female cockatiel, started breeding them, and would often give them to their friends as like “hey you're really old, you live alone, here's a friend.” And I remember visiting one of their friends who had one of these birds and the bird would just start talking. And like she taught the bird how to speak, I– at least Spanish, because they're all Spanish speakers. And the bird I think was like a bilingual bird. Because I think he would respond to me and I'd speak English to it. And this bird would just like talk and be like “hello. How are you?” And I just remember as like a small child being like “this bird's talking to me. I thought this was just in movies.”

Lexi: There’s actually a lot of evidence that birds know their names too because parrots, specifically, their moms give each baby a name that's a sound, and while they don't sound like human names, each baby has a sound that is associated with them. So when we raise a parrot in captivity and we call it it's name, it learns it has a name which is–

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: Really, really cool.

Haley: We had them–

Alana: That is amazing.

Haley: –before cockatiels.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of the show will be on ladyhistory pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review and tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History, it's the witching hour. We’ll be casting a spell on you and discussing some women of witchcraft, women of vampirism you name it, it's spooky season, and we're here to celebrate.

Alana: Dogs are liberal because they love people, cats are liberal because they're smart.

Lexi: Yes. Mhmm. All animals are liberals. 

Haley: I also believe dogs can't be evil.

[nikatyler]

Oh hey, long time no replies. And these are the first ones of this year. I have a hard time replying now. It’s not like I don’t have time - I’m doing okay, actually. I mean, I wouldn’t complain if there was less homework, but still. Free time exists. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to replying to either comments or messages...I replied to asks quite quickly though, which is something unusual for me. Usually that’s where I’m slowest. I don’t know, is this another weird anxiety thing? Like I know I can reply, but I just...don’t?

Anyway...let’s get that done now I guess. There’s a lot of these, apologies if something got lost. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it’s not, all I know is that sometimes my activity feed doesn’t show me everything.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Vlad the fashion icon strikes again.”

he's rocking that goth TM look lmao

I mean yeah.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “This brings back memories. Maybe he’s not evil, he just wants some...”

he's vv nice to his friends..... the problem is becoming his friend ��

I was going to reply with “if this ain’t me” but...actually once I get comfortable around people, irl especially, I’m awful to them D: (I can quite easily turn into the sarcastic asshole friend and no one believes me until I unleash it lmao) But anyway yeah I kinda can see Vlad to be that way, now that you mention it

#JusticeForVlad2k19

justkeeponsimming replied to your photo “End of the Year Tag 2 This time I was tagged by @justkeeponsimming....”

Ronnieeee!!! Your sims are SO gorgeous! Love love love this!

Aaaaah thank you so much! ♥

dandylion240 replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

When Ross and Caleb finally got together. I'm still hoping Caleb changes his mind and turns Ross.

If I had replied to this a week earlier, I could’ve used my favourite eye emoji. Oh well. Yeah, it’s good he changed his mind, isn’t it? :D I couldn’t stand the idea of separating them.

jackssims replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

The birth of Miracle! Caleb, Ross, and Sunset! The high school story and when Miracle and Adam got together as well!

ghkjahfljhk lately (I mean for the past few months) I’ve been really disliking Miracle and Adam’s storyline but for some reason when people mention it, they always say they liked it, so I guess I didn’t do that bad of a job? 

Same with the good old Zoey storyline. Everyone who has ever talked to me about it said they liked it and thought it was interesting, but I’m over here like “gjkfjgfjhg don’t mention that mess to me ever again”.

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset spent the New Year’s Eve by playing sims. This is very...”

I'M LITERALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW

I feel personally attacked

It’s fine, we’ve all been there :D

I think I played sims too this year. Well, first we played some board games with my parents, then there was midnight, I cried, went to see the fireworks (while finishing a bottle of wine but I swear I wasn’t drunk)...oooh and then I watched a stream and edited my sims screenshots! Okay so I didn’t actually play but I edited the pics and like...these are still fun new year’s eve plans, am I right?

melien replied to your photoset “Dawn came over and the two spent hours talking about space.”

I love their outfits! Totally would wear something like this

I like Sunset’s style especially. Well, sometimes she wears clothes I wouldn’t, but for most of the time, it’s just comfy fun stuff I wish I had. Especially considering my dark phase is over and colours are slowly coming back to my closet :D

melien replied to your post “I have some random sims I could share. Anyone interested?”

Ohhhh... on one hand I'd always want sims from you but on the other hand I fear I won't do them justice because idk where to use them rn. Dilemma

pls ask

I’m always down for creating sims for mutuals and friends (I just never talk about it), so just let me know when you want one. Also, I’m sure you would do them justice. I’m really not afraid you would fail there. You know I love everything you do, so... :D

melien replied to your photoset “This guy ♥”

Ending 2018 on a high note

The best note possible

simtress replied to your photoset “Caleb: Isn’t it sad that there are so many ways a vampire can live a...”

i love the name caleb...♥

Me too! I’ve liked it since the first time I had seen it in an English textbook years ago.

dandylion240  replied to your photoset “Oh god please tell me I didn’t accidentally have risky woohoo on or...”

It'd be fun to see what their kid would look like.

I agree and I’m surprised I’ve never played with their genetics. smh ron

cafeheart replied to your photo

okay he's hot but this also makes me uncomfy for some reason asfdlkjaj put him back

jackssims replied to your photo

I agree he’s got a hot vibe going, but this just feels wrong tbajfnakcn

It is kinda weird, I’ll admit that (but “reimagining” him was fun). It’s like...taking away Caleb Vatore’s weird emo hair. I admit I’ve done that once but it was just to mock myself anyway. I wouldn’t do it “for real”. Emo hair must stay. Yes it’s dumb, but also, it’s iconic. we stan dumb hair

I’d say this is something similar. I don’t want to say anything about Ross is iconic, but...you get my point, right?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Okay, I don’t like this. I have a theory.” Caleb: “I know what...”

👀

The funny thing here is, when I was writing this dialogue, I had no idea what was going to happen later.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I don’t…I don’t ever want this to end.” Ross: “You’re the only...”

Way to dodge that, Caleb

Oh yeah. He’s good at that

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Sunset: I know I said I’d work out today but I really don’t want to…oh...”

mood

An everyday one

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Sim Download: Cara Meadows she/her, bisexual Another one. I imagine...”

ahh she's cute! might have to nab her for my private save ;)

Yay, I’m so happy to hear that! :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Everything about this picture is a big mood. You may tag yourself now.”

Tbh I’m both Caleb and Sunset

Relatable

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Relationships and love aren’t really for me, but attending...”

Ironically her name is ValentineXD

Yup. Exactly. I bet it must be annoying for a person who couldn’t care less about getting into a relationship.

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Sunset wasn’t born to follow the crowd.”

Seriously!?!? I would never know THEY can use an umbrellas clever way! LOL

Lol they sometimes open it inside. Doesn’t seem clever to me :D But yeah, I didn’t expect them to sit down like this.

solarmoodlet replied to your photo “Sim Download: Enric Noel he/him, gay Sometimes a miracle happens and I...”

hes so cute. added him to my save. Tyvm!

Ahhh thank youuu!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I join you with the last point�� I kinda defeated social anxiety irl but the online anxiety stays. And they say shy people can communicate better online!

melien replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I third the online anxiety, glad to know I'm not alone

I wish I could say I defeated it irl as well...things got better (mainly because I just had to get used to it and grow a thicker skin) but I’m still an anxious trainwreck 99 % of the time :D It’s the same online. 

Also, instead of actually starting a conversation with people, I’m always like “oh you know, if you feel like talking to me, just send me a message, I don’t bite” but the problem is I know there’s a lot of us like that here and I’m not the only one with this fear of communication so maybe I should be the one to find the courage once

Wow that didn’t make sense but I think that only proves my point that I’m an anxious trainwreck :D

penelope-and-wonders replied to your photoset “You can put the umbrellas away, guys.”

What fun would that be? ��

Oh right, I can’t have a normal wedding :D It’s a universal rule that I should finally accept. Something would be wrong if everything went right for once.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Leigh Smith she/her, pansexual A long long time ago I...”

Omg, I looove her! ❤️❤️

Thank youuu ♥

green-productivitea replied to your photoset “Sunset: “What can I say? Freaking finally. Took you long enough to...”

The fact that she call him dad :O

Yep, she did. I love the relationship these two have.

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Damn Sunset! You tell her girl ��

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Go Sunset!

That’s what she deserves

sparkiemonkey replied to your photoset “I mean, Sunset was right. Dawn is adorable.”

she is totally adorable

Up until now I was always saying that this legacy has some Good Genes, now with Dawn it will be more like Cute Genes.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Marcella: “What are you two doing?” Sunset: “Watching the clouds!...”

let them be dorks in peace!! lmao

Exactly!! No reasons to judge

cafeheart replied to your photoset “I would lie if I said I saw this coming.”

yknow if someone didnt have context for your legacy this kinda looks like caleb is murdering ross asdkfbbd

omg you’re right and I hate that you are right

vampcatsims replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

noooo he's going to leave him at the altar god this is going to hurt so much

omg wow this is where scrolling down and reading new ones before old ones causes reaction mistakes cuz omg this is for realsies isn't it?

kyveria replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

@vampcatsims don’t worry, ross has already had someone leave him at the altar so Caleb is going to stay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Haha yeah, they’re going to be fine. I think. Can’t promise anything.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I…how can I say no to this? Yes, Ross. Yes, I will.” Ross:...”

Good! I was scared he was going to say no for a second ����

Imagine if he left him and I’d introduce a new spouse now. Or bring back Jordan. Or Marika.

Omg imagine I’d bring her back and she’d get her “happy little family” she claims she wishes for now.

myopiccc replied to your post “ - fave types of movies?”

Such a tense era! I'm a historic nerd too:)

Yeah, I love it! I mean, I don’t actually love it, there were some bad things happening, no freedom of speech and such, but for me, it’s an interesting era to learn about. I also think it’s important to know about these times because in a way, they’re still so similar to where we are now, we really should look back at them and try to not make the same mistakes...sadly, when I look at the situation in my country...sometimes it feels like people forget. Not just people like me who didn’t experience it and have only learned about it in History classes...feels like even people who have been there forget and it’s sad and frustrating and I wish I could do something about it. Okay rant over.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “Tell me honestly. Did you expect me to change my mind with...”

Nice! But I swear if this somehow backfires and Ross ends up dying...

👀

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

Ross you better not have died!!

jackssims replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

/ROSS/

ajkfaglafkghlahgfk I didn’t realize this would seem like he’s dying I’m sorry for causing panic fjaklflk

I just thought it was funny he set himself on fire and Caleb is over there like “nooo I agreed to marry this freak I have made a grave mistake”

princessdejamars replied to your photoset “Ummmm”

oh no not again

Yes. Yes again. And yeah, I could’ve left without saving. I didn’t. I was shocked when it happened and once I realized he’s pregnant again...you should’ve heard my hysterical laughter. Something is wrong with me and I don’t like it.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Dawn: “Not a chance.”

sunset looks scared shitless asdkfjdbdb

"fhlakhfalklahkjjkij she’s kissing me I wasn’t prepared for this what do I do jgljfkjhlaafkgl”

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: Nothing happened…I’m fine…I’m just gonna give this dog a bath...”

That's totally not going to lead to more problems later, Caleb, if anything *did* happen (/sarcasm)

Yup. It’s totally okay to do that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Oh fuck

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “oh shit”

wow

this is wild haha

Basically my reaction

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Dad, you’re home alone?” Caleb: “I think so.” Stella: “Aw,...”

jlkfdzsjlkfadg She's pregnant, he's pregnant, truly amazing

ikr

That’s a twist I truly didn’t expect at the end of this generation. Not that I’m complaining

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Anything else?” Caleb: “What? Is there supposed to be...”

/Caleb/

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “And that’s not all…” Ross: “Huh?” Caleb: “Nothing. Forget it.”

//Caleb//

See Ross and Caleb were made for each other because they both have a hard time learning from their mistakes lol

dandylion240 replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

There's a way to bend the rules. Since Ross will become a vampire. He and Caleb have forever to have a child together. So once Sunset takes over as heir I say anything goes for Ross after that �� but that's just me lol

Ooh, technically that could work! I didn’t even think about that. Good point. I don’t think they’ll have children together but I really do like this idea.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Is there anything you would like to tell me?” Caleb: “I was...”

Good! Caleb got the courage to tell Ross

I mean he didn’t really have another option at this point

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “You’re not going to leave me now, are you?” Ross: “I’m...”

Wholesome Ross (he’s really come full circle tbh)

I kept saying he would get better and no one believed me. There you have it guys, he’s a changed person. Character development! :D

simtress replied to your photo “™¥ ♥”

*eeps! she's too cute1

ikr, I miss her ;-;

melien replied to your photoset “Stella: I can’t believe it’s actually raining on my wedding day. We...”

It's a free riiiiide when you've already paid

Is this a reference I am supposed to get

Because I’m dumb and don’t get it lmao

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Say cheese hair!”

So don't ask how I remember it because I'm probably too invested lol but your theme with red hair/blonde(yellow) hair in gen 3 of every legacy? It continues

Omg I didn’t even realize! Sebastian and Lynn started it obviously, then in my Raven Legacy it was a little “easter egg” but this time, it’s a coincidence (a nice coincidence). I guess I just can’t have too many redheads!

melien replied to your photoset “oh shit”

The ultimate plot twist

The plot twist I normally would’ve welcomed but this time, I actually felt sorry for him. He didn’t deserve it the first time (aka the time I was petty and did it on purpose) and he didn’t deserve it this time either. But still. Aliens. I can’t just quit the game without saving when it has to do something with them, can I?

melien replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

Maybe babies for them perhaps?

Y’all really want them to have kids huh

melien replied to your photoset “Nooooo Rocket :( He’s old now!”

Can Caleb also turn Rocket? Vampire doggo would be fun

Man I’d love if that was possible (even though...I just imagined him biting the poor dog and that’s kinda weird). Buuuut...there’s something else that I did and it’s almost as good.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Minako Ito she/her, lesbian Traits: Good, Loner,...”

All of the Sims you put for download are so pretty! I'm grabbing them all!

Thank you so much ;-;

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “i was enchanted to meet you”

Aaahh nostalgia!

I knoooow ;-; I love them and I miss them and I want to play with them again

I mean I could, first I’d just have to finish the high school story and that’s...highly unlikely lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Aliens are in love with him that's true

New otp: Caleb/Aliens. Oh that's weird

They have a weird thing for Calebs

If you guys know a Caleb irl protect them

If you are a Caleb, well...I’m sorry

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Rocket: Hey I’m old, just thought you should know…oh nevermind what...”

This is somehow sad=((

Yeah. I love this little dog so much :(

[a-walk-in-silence]

We Can Be Beautiful (Pt. 5)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Summary: Heathers AU. You were used to the quiet life in Sherwood, Ohio. Albeit, you were bullied, but it was nothing compared to the shit storm that was about to happen when one boy showed up with an air of mystery around him.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of date rape (n o t h i n g happens, I promise), underage drinking, implications of sexual activities (again, n o t h i n g happened), name calling, bullying, homophobia, manipulation, character death, gun-related violence, self flagellation

Prompt: “You’re the one I choose”

A/N: And here is Part 5 of WCBB! Woohoo! Halfway point! Yes! This is for @gab-spidey‘s 2k writing challenge! Honestly, I just wanna thank everyone for coming along for this ride and, again, thank you all so much! Here’s to the next few parts getting finished eventually! Once again, I’m reblogging suicide hotlines after this goes up. If you guys ever need to talk about something, my inbox and messages are open to the public and I will gladly talk to anyone who needs a shoulder to lean on. Thanks for reading! Also, just as a PS, the warnings are getting longer and longer and, hopefully, they’ll chill out for a bit in the next part (one can hope).

Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Key:

Y/N - Your Name

L/N - Last Name

Y/N/N - Your Nickname

Italics - Writing in Your Diary

Bold Italics - Speech of Deceased

Song Inspiration(s):

Blue - Heathers Cast Recording

Blue (Reprise) - Heathers Cast Show Clip (turn up the volume on this one, it’s a clip recording and not the best audio wise but the song is important)

Our Love Is God - Heathers Cast Recording

You fingers silently drummed across your knee as you sat between people sobbing uncontrollably into their handkerchiefs. Try as you might, you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at the open casket sitting at the front of the room, which, inside, contained the dead body of Natasha Romanoff. You couldn’t quite kick away the nagging voice in the back of your head, telling you that this was all your fault. And yeah, okay, it was.

You did kill her, after all.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the service came to an end. You quickly jumped to your feet and left the building, being one of the first to leave. However, unbeknownst to you, Peter had followed right behind you and grabbed your arm before you could get far.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, pulling your body towards him. You glanced up at him, trying to not lose your shit while standing in the middle of the small grass area in front of the church. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen in since school let out on Friday.” He brushed a piece of your hair that had fallen out of place behind your ear. “Everything good?”

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, offering him the best smile you could muster at the moment. “It’s just been weird, ya know? My parents have been hovering over me for the past week over the whole suicide thing.” You got onto your tiptoes and pressed a firm kiss into his lips. “I promise I haven’t been avoiding you. Just dealing with issues with Nat’s death, ya know?”

He opened his mouth to talk when a voice interrupted you. “Y/N!” your mother called, coming to your side. “Darling, how are you doing?”

“Hey, ‘Mora, come on. The girl just lost her best friend. I’m sure she’s doing great,” said your father, a sarcastic tone taking over, before smiling. “Say, who’s the fella?”

You shifted awkwardly on your feet before offering them a smile. “Mom, Dad, this is Peter Parker. He’s-”

“We’re kind of dating at the moment,” Peter said over you, quickly cutting you off before you could register what he even said. “It’s a little early on but it’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. L/N.” He held out a hand to the two of them, maintaining the worlds most purest smile.

Your mother raised an eyebrow at the both of you before cautiously taking his hand in a handshake. “Well, I’m Y/N’s mother.”

Your dad, meanwhile, gave the worlds most toothiest grin before grabbing Peter’s hand. “You’re a Peter? I’m a Peter! That’s really interesting that my daughter would go after a Peter, don’t ya think so, ‘Mora?”

“Peter Jason,” your mother said, clearly exasperated. “We’ll just head out, leave you two to... talk. I hope you can join us for dinner one night, Mr. Parker.”

With that, your parents left, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. With that, Peter turned towards you and offered his arm. “Come on, let’s ditch this place and go to my house. We can watch some TV, maybe unwind a little. Afterwards, I can take you home. I’m sure you need a moment to think.”

You gave him a thoughtful smile before grabbing his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders firmly. “Sounds good to me, anything to get me away from my parents for a little while.”

He chuckled softly. “Ya, they sound a little overbearing. And you dad is... very eccentric.”

“Mmm... That’s Peter Jason L/N for you,” you replied. “He’s always been a big joker and doing things just to confuse everyone around him. Recently, he picked up reading spy novels even though he hates him. He finds it funny. As for my mom, she had a rough childhood, so I suppose it’s understandable why she’s overbearing. Terrible stepdad and all that.”

Peter gave you a confused look, his eyebrow raised in question. “What happened with your mom’s side of the family?”

You sighed, leaning into his side as the two of you walked over to where Peter’s motorcycle was parked. “Her dad passed away while she was really young. Murder, never solved. Then her stepdad showed up, married her mom. And then she died a month later. My mom was left in his care with a crap ton of step-siblings, like my Aunt Neb. They all fought for his attention. She never really explained much outside of the sibling rivalry.” You shrugged nonchalantly. “Nobody’s life is ever perfect, and my mom’s is definitely not an exception.”

Peter plopped down onto his couch and you joined him, curled up into his side. He smiled down at you sweetly, wrapping an arm around you securely. “What should we do, darling?”

“Mmmm.... There’s always television. Maybe we can count how many news channels Sharon Carter went to, crying about Nat.” The two of you laughed for a moment, peaceful in your domesticated bliss.

Finally, Peter grabbed the TV remote and turned on the small box that sat in front of the couch. The two of you flipped idly through several channels, tallying how many were talking about Nat compared to how many had a sobbing Sharon.

Apparently, Sharon Carter had made it to no less than 10 news stations, one of which was a Spanish broadcasting station, where the only discernible words being Nat’s name and Corn Nuts.

“Alright, alright. Turn it off,” you laughed, pulling the remote from his hands. He pouted at you, acting wounded that you would ruin his fun, but didn’t fight you when you turned off the TV. “God, she has no shame,” you said, shaking your head in utter disbelief. 

“Hey dad, just got back from Nat’s funeral and I brought home my girl,” said the voice of Tony Stark, walking over to the two of you as you lounged on the couch. You quickly sat up, trying to hide the fact that you were clearly flustered to see him once again.

“Didn’t hear you come in, son,” Peter stated, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you back into his side despite your obvious discomfort.

His dad only chuckled to himself. “Yeah, sorry about that, pa. How was work today?” He took only a beat of pause before going into a rant about his work. “I was working on a new invention today when some of those damn protesters showed up, complaining about how my weapons and such are not ‘environmentally friendly’. Those damn hippies act so damn entitled sometimes, it’s infuriating. This isn’t the damn 60′s anymore!”

“You mean those old broads that camped outside of the house last week?” Peter questioned, clearly not happy with the “old broads”.

“The same.” Tony snorted before sitting down on the arm of the couch, throwing a look in your direction. “Say dad, can my girl stay over for dinner tonight? I’m sure she’d have fun.” Both of them turned their attention towards you, waiting for your answer.

“O-Oh,” you said, trying to fill the silence. “My mom’s already got dinner plans. She’s, uh... making my favorite meal. Ya know, spaghetti. Lots of oregano. Tastes great.”

You wanted to slap yourself. Why did you make up such a stupid lie? Sure, okay, Peter and his dad had a weird bond with one another. And boy would it make life awkward. But you definitely didn’t have to lie like this.

Peter gave you a semi-forced smile, pulling you into his arms. “Really? That’s your favorite dinner? Remind me to make it for you one night. Sounds like something mom would have enjoyed, but last time I saw her, she was waving out a window in the lab from Texas. Isn’t that right, Dad?”

Tony gave Peter the worst look possible, mixed between a glare and a smile, and the look nearly made your heart stop. Several seconds of tense silence passed before Tony responded. “Right.”

“I-I should go.” Your interruption turned both of their gazes towards you. “My parents are probably worried sick and all so... ya know. I should head home.”

“No, of course. I’ll drive you home.” Peter hopped up off the couch and held a hand out to you. “I’ll be home whenever, dad.”

Tony only grunted in response. As Peter dragged you away, you couldn’t help the thought from creeping into your head. If you ever married this boy, you would most certainly not let his father talk at your wedding.

“Y/N! Phone for you!” your mother called from downstairs. You groaned, sitting up, not realizing that you had passed out shortly after Peter brought you home. You grumbled incoherently as you made your way downstairs to answer the phone.

“Hello?” you asked, rubbing sleep out of your eyes.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Jane asked, clearly upset.

Hearing how upset your friend, well, ex-friend, was, caused you to wake up. “Jane? What’s wrong? What happened?” You didn’t even realize you were rambling until she started talking again.

“Y/N, please shut up and just come down to the cemetery, please. It’s an emergency, and you’re the only one who can help us. Please...”

You pursed your lips together, throwing a glance at the clock that sat on the wall. 9:45 pm. Surely your parents would understand since it was an emergency. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there soon, just sit tight, alright?”

A reassured sigh came from Jane’s side of the phone. “Thank you, Y/N. You’re a lifesaver. We’re by Heathers grave and we’re in Thor’s car. Please hurry.” With that, her end of the line went dead.

You placed the phone back on the receiver before turning to your mother, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest, a displeased look settled on her face. “You’re heading out? Again?”

“Mom, it’s an emergency. Something might have happened. I’ll be back before you know I’m gone, I promise.” Her lips pursed, clearly not impressed with your attempts to reassure her. “Mom, she could be in trouble. I swear, I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t an emergency.”

Finally, she sighed, motioning for you to wake past her. “Fine, go.” You gave her a smile and started to leave, but she stopped you with a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, Y/N/N,” she said, her voice softening. “You know I worry about you, right?”

“I know, mom, and I’m grateful. Truly, I am.” You pecked her on the cheek to prove it. “I’ll be back home before you and dad even know I’m gone. I promise.”

She smiled, a soft, barely noticeable smile, but it was still there nonetheless. “You’re a great kid. Go on, hurry back home, do I make myself clear?”

You nodded and gave her a final kiss on the cheek before leaving the house, running towards the cemetery that was, thankful, just two blocks down the street.

“Y/N!” Jane said, waving to you, her hand sticking out of the driver-side window of Thor’s cherry red sports car sitting in the grass of the cemetery. You approached the scene in front of you, slowly drinking it all in.

On the ground was Thor, face-down in the ground, looking as dead as a rock. There were a few rustles in a bush just about 30 yards away, but you quickly blocked it out, choosing to ask the obvious question. “Is... is Thor-”

“Yeah! He’s fine!” Jane quickly said, rolling down the window a bit so that she could look at you. “He’s passed out. So like, I came here with Thor and Bruce and Shar to pour a bottle of Thunderbird over Nat’s grave, kinda like a goodbye from her friends, ya know?” Her eyes glanced to Thor, passed out just a few feet in front of the bumper of the car. “Well, Thor and Bruce drank it all and... they’ve been really grabby. Shar went to try and get Bruce to calm down but-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Why did you call me then? After everything that happened at Bruce’s party, I figured-”

Awkwardly, Jane leaned back from the window, her fingers fiddling together. “W-Well... Thor promised to leave me alone if, ya know... I called you here. So I panicked and I called! I’m sorry!”

Your mouth dropped open in pure shock from her answer. “Wha- Jane! You... avoided date rape... by offering me up for date rape?”

She grimaced to herself, her fingers still fiddling together. “Well, when you put it that way it just sounds ugly,” she mumbled, clearly trying to make it to where she didn’t feel guilty about the situation.

“I’m leaving,” you muttered to yourself, turning to leave. However, Thor, who had previously been on the ground, was now on the hood of the car, smiling sweetly at you. “Heyyyyyyy Y/N,” he said, his words slurring together. “I waited for youuu cutie. 10 whole beers.” To further his point, he held up both of his hands, wiggling all 10 of his fingers towards you.

“Enough! I said I was fucking done, Bruce!” came a shout from the same bushes that you had heard rustling from earlier. Turning, you watched as Sharon emerged, brushing off her skirt as she stormed away, followed by a stumbling Bruce.

“But baby-” Bruce whined before spotting you. Quickly, a huge smile spread over his features. “Hey, lookie, it’s Y/N! Maybe she can help me find release.”

You physically grimaced, taking a step away from the two drunk jocks. “You both have left hands, can’t you use those instead?” you said, trying to bargain with the two of them.

“But I want youuuu,” Bruce slurred, leaning heavily on the hood of the car while Thor, meanwhile, gathered his wits and started to swagger over to you. “Come on, don’t hurt their feelings.”

“Their?” you questioned, taking another step away from the two as they tried to close in again.

“My balls!” Thor piped up, motioning to his pants where, unfortunately, a small tent was starting to appear. “They need relief from a pretty girl! Even a nerdy girl like you!”

“Yeah!” Bruce added, coming to stand a few feet from Thor, trying to corner you between the two of them. “They’re so blue for you, Y/N. My hands are rubbing like a cheese grater, it’s sooo uncomfortable. Please?”

Once again, you found a sour look sprawled over your face. “Shar, Jane, please let me into the car,” you shouted, even if you were being cornered in the opposite direction of the car. Maybe you could make a run for it. They were pretty drunk...

“Sorry!” Sharon shouted from the car. “The car’s staying locked while they can still get in!”

You looked around desperately for an escape before your eyes caught onto a glass bottle, half full of liquid and sitting haphazardly in the dirt, but the contents were very clearly booze. You managed to get past the two of them and retrieve the bottle, holding it up like an offering. “Look here, Thor and Bruce! Booze!”

The two of their faces broke out into huge, sloppy, shit-eating grins as they eyed up the bottle. “Thank you so much, Y/N!” Bruce shouted, practically running you over to grab the bottle.

“You’re so welcome!” you shouted, stepping away from the two as they fought over the liquid remaining in the amber bottle. Finding the situation perfect, you finally slipped away, up the hill that lead back to the main road.

As if a saving grace, a familiar figure was leaning against a black motorcycle. You sighed happily before letting his arms envelope you. “You look like hell,” Peter murmured, brushing a hand through your hair.

“How’d you know I was here?” you asked, snuggling your head into his black-clad chest. “I didn’t tell you-”

“Your mom told me. I called, asking for you, and she told me you went to the cemetery to save Jane from an emergency,” Peter replied, twirling a piece of his hair around his finger. “Figured it sounded fishy so I came to investigate to see you escaping from the cemetery.”

You shake your head, leaning into him. “I just want to go home, Pete. Can you drive me?”

His lips pressed against the top of your head. “Of course, beautiful. Just make sure you tell me what happened tomorrow at school, got it?”

A laugh escaped your throat as you looked up at him. “Yeah, okay. I promise.”

Dear Diary,

You could call last night a close call. Yeah, close call. Definitely would have ended differently if my mom hadn’t told Peter where I was or if I hadn’t of found that bottle just sitting there. I can’t help but think that Nat was the only person keeping Thor and Bruce in check, and now she’s dead. So now the school is defenseless to their libido.

“Having second thoughts, bitch?” asked a voice that caused you to tense. Following the voice was a fit of coughing. “You know, I blame you and your beau for the fact that I’ll be coughing up Drano for all of eternity. Do you feel guilty yet, Y/N/N?”

You grimaced to yourself before finally allowing yourself to look up from your journal. You could practically see Nat standing there, wearing her silk red robe that she died in. Her body was littered with cuts from the glass that she landed in, and her eyes were completely white.

Choosing to ignore the phantom now standing over you, watching you, you turned your attention back towards you diary.

I know I didn’t technically kill her, but I can’t help but feel like I did. I feel bad for it... but not as bad as I should. And that’s what scares me. Maybe that’s why I feel like she’s standing over me, dictating everything I do.

You glanced up from your journal again to find Sharon and Jane digging through Nat’s locker, clearing everything out into a box. Your hands balled up into fists as you slammed your diary shut and stalked over to them. “Hey, I hope you guys are planning on apologizing for acting like Grade A Bitches last night.”

“Hey,” Sharon said, turning around to point a finger into your chest. “We’re cleaning out Nat’s shit right now. Show a little respect, why don’t you?”

“Y/N, tell her to get her little slutty hands off of my crap,” said dead Nat, now standing right behind Sharon as she dug through her locker. “Y/N? Y/N/N, make her stop it now!”

“Shut up!” you shouted, clearly distressed from the voices filling your head.

A pair of hands shoved you roughly, dragging you back to Earth. You glared at Sharon who was practically seething in your direction. “No! I won’t shut up! Never again!” Her hands fumbled in her blonde hair, dragging out her bow and replacing it with Nat’s red scrunchie.

Jane grabbed Sharon’s arm, trying to stop her. “Shar, that’s Nat’s-”

An animal-like snarl came from Sharon, causing Jane to flinch away. “Shut up, Jane! Nat’s gone, and someone needs to replace her! And it’s going to be me so shut the fuck up!”

Your mouth dropped open in shock, staring at Sharon like she was crazy. Replace Nat? How could anyone want to ever replace her? “Shar, please don’t do this,” you mumbled.

A scoff came from the blonde as she turned her back towards you and pulled more crap from Nat’s locker. “Whatever. You should worry less about me and more about your reputation, bitch. Didn’t you hear? Thor and Bruce were talking about your little three-way last night.”

“Three-way?” asked the voice of Peter from right behind you, causing you to jump. You turned to look at him, and you couldn’t help but nearly cry from the look of pure pain that had etched it’s way across his face.

“No, Peter, please... There was no three-way! Nothing happened last night, I promise!”

“Really?” Sharon asked, slamming Nat’s locker shut, causing you to flinch once more. “I remember it differently.”

As if on cue, Thor and Bruce came walking down the hall with a boy, who you could briefly remember being named Clint, following them. “A sword fight? In her mouth?” Clint asked, his jaw completely slack at the idea.

“Oh yeah,” Thor said, smiling. “A big sword fight in her mouth! It was crazy crowded!”

“Yeah, but then, after the sword fight, we bent her over backwards like origami!” Bruce added.

Peter’s hands clutched into fists as he grabbed onto the back of Bruce’s jacket at his comment. You reached out to grab him, despite the tears threatening to spill over, but he was well out of your grasp. “Don’t talk about Y/N like that!”

Thor pushed Peter’s hands away, standing next to Bruce in a protective way. “Don’t complain when you’re girls a fucking slut-”

Peter’s fist connected with Thor’s face, causing him to fall back to the ground. However, before he could react, Clint was suddenly holding Peter’s arms behind his back, which left him open to be attacked by both Bruce and Thor.

“No! Stop!” you shouted, trying to push through the crowd that was starting to gather, but Sharon grabbed you forcefully, throwing a wicked smile towards you. You fought against her, but she had a death grip on both of your shoulders now.

“Stop this nonsense right now!” shouted the voice of Principal Fury as he pushed through the crowd. “Odinson, Banner, Barton, my office, now!”

The crowd dispersed just as quickly as it had formed. Meanwhile, Fury had to fight to remove Bruce from Peter while two other male teachers had to help in hauling off both Clint and Thor.

You went to walk over to Peter who laid prone on the ground, tears burning your eyes, when a hand suddenly grabbed you. You turned quickly to see Bruce smiling, a horrible glint in his eyes. “Whore,” he whispered before being dragged away.

Being called a whore was the final blow, and it made you finally break down in tears as you dropped to your knees in front of Peter, helping him sit up. “P-Pete?” you mumbled, brushing his brown curls from his face to take it all in. His lip was split in more than one place, and a bruise was already starting to form on his cheekbone. You were sure there were more bruises if one looked at his arms and chest, but you weren’t about to look right now. “A-Are you okay?”

His arms wrapped around you tightly, and you could feel him shaking. “Y/N...” he mumbled, breathing into your hair. “How are you?” he asked, clearly ignoring your question.

“I-I’m okay,” you mumbled. “I... I’ve been called worse a-and... y-ya know, everything’s awesome.” You broke down in full sobs in the middle of the deserted hallway. For some reason, all of the teachers were long gone, and you and Peter were long forgotten. “I-I’m sorry for crying...” you mumbled, trying to bring yourself back together and failing miserably.

His hands brushed through your now messy hair, trying to soothe you. “You don’t deserve to cry,” he muttered, holding you tightly. “I swear, I will end this all. All of it, tonight. You...” He pushed you away until you were at arms length, looking into his brown eyes as he gave you the best smile he could muster. “You’re the only thing that’s right about this broken world.” His hand brushed a piece of hair behind your ear before cupping you face. “So cry, it’s okay. But come tomorrow morning... all of this will be long behind us, okay? Do you wanna know why?”

You slowly nodded, rubbing away the tears that were making trails down your face. “Y-Yes,” you mumbled, giving him a verbal confirmation to continue on.

“Because, Y/N, love like we have doesn’t come around often. Our love is special. Our love is God, and our love will fix all of this, okay?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “O-Okay,” you mumbled, allowing yourself to revel in the thought. Maybe he was right. Maybe your love was strong enough to stop it all, make all of the pain and misery just... go away.

Suddenly, a thought dawned on you. He never answered your question earlier. “P-Pete?” you asked, crawling back over to him and curling up in his arms. “You never answered me... are... are you okay?”

You glanced up to see him smiling down at you. “I always thought I would be alone, like... Like I was a frozen lake. No one would ever be dumb enough to try and go crack the ice, but... now I’m realizing that I’m not. I can feel myself getting better, and it’s because of you. Now... now I know that I’m not alone, never again. I won’t be alone because I’ll have you.”

“Yeah... we’ll never be alone,” you smiled softly, running your hands through his hair.

“Y/N...” he mumbled sweetly before pressing a kiss into your forehead. “I want to see you tonight. I’ll sneak over to your place, okay? Say around 8-ish?” A nod was all you could do to answer him, and he continued on. “Until then, we should probably get to class, yeah?”

And so, that’s what the two of you did after a quick stop by the nurse so that way you two had a valid reason for showing up late to class.

“So what’s the plan to get back at Bruce and Thor?” you asked, leaning closer to Peter as he sat on your bed.

He smiled before pulling out several items from a brown paper bag. “We’re going to fake their suicides,” he replied simply. “I’ve got our Stud Puppie magazine, a Joan Crawford postcard, mascara... Ah, and the piece de resistance, mineral water.”

You giggled, staring at him as he put the items back in the bag. “Yeah, so, what? Do you need a forged suicide note then?”

“And for you to make a call to the boys to go behind the school so that we can set up the joke,” he responded, grabbing your bedside phone and setting on your bed.

“But why are we going to such great lengths? I mean, how are we going to make it look like they’re dead?” You grabbed the receiver, ready to make the call once he explained it all to you.

He watched you for a moment before grabbing two guns from... somewhere. You physically flinched at the sight of the weapons. “Peter, I thought our Bonnie and Clyde adventures were done. I don’t-”

He placed a finger to your lips to silence you. “Relax, we’ll fill them with Ich Luge bullets.” At your confused look, he smiled. “They’re tranquilizer bullets. My granddad scored a shit ton back in World War II. The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. The darts should knock Thor and Bruce out long enough to make it look like a suicide. Once they come to, they’ll be the laughing stock of the whole school.”

Still confused by the whole concept of Ich Luge bullets, you forced yourself to nod along with what he was saying. “Yeah, okay, makes sense,” you said, more to assure yourself than anyone else. “So, we need a suicide note.”

Peter nodded, grabbing your notepad so that you could write. “Just make it sound really sappy. Remember, it needs to sound believable. And you can pick whichever of the two you want to write for.”

Nodding, you turned your focus on your diary as you scribbled out a suicide note in Thor’s handwriting.

Bruce and I realized the moment that we could not share our forbidden love that we would have to die instead. Though we will miss the joy of being in each others arms, we cannot continue to live in a world where we have to act like beer-guzzling jackasses. Thus, we have chosen to die rather than live in a disapproving world.

“Look good?” You asked, showing the note to Peter.

He instantly broke out into a huge smile, carefully tearing the paper out of your journal. “Perfect,” he replied, folding it in half and adding it to the bag of goodies that sat on the edge of your bed. “Now we just need you to call Thor. Tell him to meet behind the school at dawn.”

Nodding, you quickly dialed the number to Thor’s house, crossing your fingers that he would be the one to pick up.

After a few rings, there was finally an answer. “Yeah-lo?” came the voice of Thor, and you had to fight the urge to sigh in relief at the fact that he was the one to answer.

“Hey, Thor?” you asked, twirling a piece of your hair around your index finger. “It’s Y/N. So... I was wondering... How did you and Bruce know it was always a fantasy of mine to take two guys at once?”

“Dude, dude!” said the muffled voice of Thor, clearly trying to get Bruce’s attention. “It’s Y/N!” You tapped your fingers against your knee, waiting for them to decide to talk. “So, uhhh, I guess it was a lucky guess?” Thor said, finally sounding clearer.

“Well...” you drawled out, throwing a look at Peter to see him laughing. You threw a pillow at him before continuing the conversation. “If you want it to come true... Meet me behind the school with Bruce. At dawn.”

There was a choking sound from the other end of the line before Thor started talking. “Yeah, uh-huh, sounds good.” Before you could hang up, you heard him practically shouting to Bruce. “Bro! Free pussy! And we don’t even have to buy it a pizza! Punch it in!”

You cringed to yourself before hanging up the phone. “They’ll be there,” you said, placing your phone back on your nightstand. “That was hell.”

Peter laughed, drawing you into him as he pressed a firm kiss to your lips before pulling away to smile down at you. “Y/N... our love is a powerful thing. We can start and finish wars.”

Resting your head on his shoulder, you couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, our love is what killed the dinosaurs. The world needed room for us.”

“You bet your ass it did,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss into the top of your head. “Hey, gorgeous.” You glanced up at him to see him staring at you seriously, yet his eyes were also filled with so much adoration. “I worship you, and everything that you are. I’d trade my life for yours if it was necessary to see you alive and happy...”

You pulled him into a kiss, silencing his words. He hummed in response, which was one of the few sounds made between the two of you for the rest of the night as you both eagerly awaited morning to put your plan into motion.

“So why did we steal your dad’s car again?” you asked as you both pulled into the school parking lot, just before dawn broke.

“The motorcycle’s great and all, but the car’s better for if we need to hide after our plan has been enacted.” You raised an eyebrow at him, not necessarily aware of why you’d need to hide if the bullets were just going to knock them out. Still, you didn’t question him and, instead, followed him out of the car and to the meeting spot.

You handed the bag of goodies off to Peter before grabbing the gun from him. “Just remember,” he said softly, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, “I’m just behind that tree right there. When we shoot, you try and shoot Thor and I’ll get Bruce, got it?” Accepting your tiny nod as an answer, he kissed the top of your head. “Alright, they should be here any minute now so I’m going to go hide.”

With that, you were left alone in the small little clearing just a few feet from the main road. You decided to make a circle that surrounded you in the dirt, pretending it was your safe zone that Bruce and Thor couldn’t cross if they wanted to.

The sound of approaching footsteps made you lift your head up from your feet to see the two jocks coming down the small slope, practically tripping over one another to make it to where you were.

“Hey, Y/N,” Bruce said, a bright smile filling his features. “How’re you doin’?”

“Bro, cut the small talk,” Thor said, slapping Bruce with the back of his hand. “Do we just whip out our dicks or what?”

You fought every impulse to shudder or cringe at Thor’s blunt words. You forced a playful smile onto your features, meeting his muddy brown eyes. “Take it slow, Thor. I want the two of you to strip for me.”

They both laughed, clearly excited by the prospect of stripping for you. Thor started to tear of his own clothes before remembering that you said to take it slowly. He looked physically pained by the notion of strip-teasing for you, but he still slowed his movements down.

Bruce, however, looked a little more confused. “What ‘bout you, Y/N?” he asked, slowly removing his jacket.

“Well...” you said, voice barely audible to the two of them, “I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me... sport.”

Sport? Sport? Was that really the best word you could come up with in the moment?

Despite the fact that you felt like a complete idiot by calling them sport, they still nodded along and stripped faster until they both stood in front of you in their underwear.

“On the count of three, you both can come at me and take off my clothes. Ready?” They nodded eagerly and you forced a smile. “One... Two...”

“Three,” said the voice of Peter, coming from behind the tree, gun raised. You grabbed your own gun and aimed at Thor, firing one of the Ich Luge bullets into his shoulder. Meanwhile, Peter hit Bruce right in between the eyes.

Thor screamed at being shot and tried to run away, but Peter fired another shot into his back, causing him to fall face-first into the ground.

You found yourself staring at Bruce, as blood pooled around him in the forest ground and you suddenly felt sick. You fell to your knees, cupping Bruce’s face. “Bruce? Bruce? Oh my god. Peter-”

Hands hauled you off the ground, pulling you away from the scene. “We have to go, come on,” he muttered in your eye, practically dragging you all the way back to the school. Practically frozen, you let him do so.

You just killed two more of your classmates. 

Once back in the car, you finally released all of your feelings all at once. “God! I’m so stupid!” you shouted as Peter started the car so that music was playing in the background. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him grab a cigarette from his dads glove compartment.

Absentmindedly, you grabbed the lighter from the car, staring at the orange metal. Before you were even aware of what you were doing, the lighter was pressed into the palm of your hand, and you were screaming from the pain.

Peter quickly yanked the lighter away from your burning flesh before placing the end of his cigarette against your palm. You whimpered as he leaned back, his cigarette burning through the car.

“Fucking Ich Luge bullets? Why am I so stupid? Why would I ever believe such a stupid lie?” you mumbled, more to yourself than anybody else. You held your hand close to your body, trying to ignore the mind numbing pain that originated from your burnt hand.

“Maybe because you wanted them dead,” Peter said, earning him a glare from you. “Oh come on! Ich Luge bulelts? If something sounds too good to be true, usually it is! Don’t play so naive, Y/N! Your mind wanted to believe the bullets were tranquilizer bullets because your thoughts are too icky and impure. You wanted them dead just as much as I did.” With the end of his statement, he tossed his half-gone cigarette out the car window before turning his attention back to you.

“No I didn’t!” you shouted, clearly exasperated by his remarks. “No one deserves to die, Peter!”

“Yes you did! Don’t lie to me! They made you cry! Besides, they’re just a bunch of-”

You covered your ears with your hands, despite the pain it caused you, and started making random noises to block out his talking. He groaned in response and tried to talk louder, but you only matched him in volume until you both were practically screaming at one another.

“Enough!” Peter shouted, removing your hands from your ears and silencing you with a kiss. You pushed against him slightly, trying to fight the kiss before finally relenting to his lips and the sweet feeling of being enveloped in his strong arms. In fact, you even found yourself kissing him back despite the anger you felt boiling beneath the surface.

Once deeming you calm enough, his lips left yours, brushing the hair out of your face. “Come on,” he mumbled, lips a few inches from your own. “It’s already done, okay? So let’s just go somewhere. I’m sure they’re going to cancel class today anyway.”

You nodded slowly before you relaxed into the passenger seat of his dad’s car. Your mind whirled with thoughts, primarily ones centered around Bruce and Thor. Once again, someone was dead, and you helped cause it. You killed two people today, and now you had to pay the price.

“Peter?” you asked quietly as the two of you drove through the practically empty roads of the town. “Can we go and grab ice for my hand?”

“Of course,” he responded, looking visibly more relaxed and less on edge. “I’m sorry about your hand, by the way.”

Tags:

@gab-spidey @daringbanshee @genzbitch @youreafangirl-harry @thedaydreamingwriter @starksparker

[uncannyvalleyinc]

Saber ISBI Legacy 2.9

Chapter 2.9

Last Chapter ended with a couple questions, one of which being would Father Winter ever leave? The answer is no. Winterfest ended days ago but Clement Frost is still making himself at home on the Legacy lot. Very at home.

He's been eating all the leftovers and generally acting like a bed-stealing, speaker-breaking, bathroom-shooing-even-though-the-kids-need-to-shower-before-school nuisance.

Violet can't ask him to leave and I've tried resetting him only to have him respawn at the mailbox. I am so tempted to send him swimming in a pool with no ladders lock him in the basement but... like... murdering the Sims equivalent of Santa Clause? Sad moodlet.

Since old Clement seems to consider himself the newest member of the family, Violet tries hooking him up with Iris, who has also not left the lot since Winterfest ended.

Violet: Hey Iris, you ever thought about getting a sugar daddy? I know a sexy older man and he's very generous.

It works!

Now on to the Sims who actually matter to this legacy. Like all teens so far, Oscuro has developed a weird obsession with coffee. Here he is looking a bit less generic post-styling. I can see a lot of Paolo's genetics in him, which is nice.

He's still the official family stinkbomb, however.

Lacuna: Why haven't I gotten any screen time this chapter? I'm good looking, I'm employed, I'm practicing my charisma so I can make a good and interesting torcholder. I'm... going to end up a spare married off to that old guy who keeps setting fires, aren't I?

No. He's Iris' boyfriend. Hah.

Paolo has a little chat with Penumbra about her future prospects.

Paolo: Ah, young adulthood... why are you wasting your prime partying years on the ratty sofa in the basement? Don't you want to do something? Become a World Renowned Surgeon? Leader of the Free World? A... Golddigger? Penumbra: Dad! That's so much pressure! Besides, Get Famous just came out it's Current Year and there are lots of hip, millennial vocations to explore now, like Simstagram Baddie or Vlogger.

Paolo: Logger? You... want to cut down... trees? Penumbra: That's not -- never mind. I'm just not ready to use my one decision per life stage on a job, at least not until I'm sure what I want to do. Paolo: That's okay. You know, if my years as a locker room attendant have taught me anything it’s always change your jockstrap... but also, pick something you really love because you will be doing it forever.

Violet is giving Gacy a bath when she gets the "Very Sad" moodlet. Since Clement Frost hasn't managed to burn himself to death unfortunately it must be...

Violet: Iris, I have some terrible news. Our brother Pennyroyal is... he... Iris: I know. I have the moodlet too. Pennyroyal and I both sensed this was coming and we said our goodbyes. I... I'm just not looking forward to going back to our empty house, you know? Violet: You can stay here as long as you want.

So Iris moved back in and -- what? There's something in my eye.

Now that Iris is officially a household member Clement has even more reason to stick around and break things.

Oscuro: You know, I always thought having a Santa in the family would be neat. Gloam: What are you talking about?! So far all he’s done is perv on Aunt Iris and destroy the toilet on a daily basis. I was expecting, like, gifts everyday and an army of elves or something.

That night Clement leaves macaroni on the stove again. Luckily Violet and the repairman (who has almost become another permanent household fixture) are able to put out the ensuing fire, but Violet decides that it is time to have a little talk with Clement.

Violet: You! You fire starting, bathroom stealing, sister woohooing, bringing-joy-and-gifts-to-Sims-around-the-world mooch! Get out, get out, get out!

Clement: Fine, I’ll go. But if you think you or your family are anything other than a lump of coal next year you are sorely mistaken! Violet: Oooh, bring it, old man!

Iris: Clement, wait!

Meanwhile, inside...

Violet: Ugh, what does she see in him? Paolo: Yeesh, Violet. Kicking Father Winter out of your house while simultaneously breaking your aged sister’s heart? Karmic justice will be...

Paolo: ...swift.

The Grim Reaper shows up to take Paolo’s soul to that great foam party in the afterlife.

Grim: Oooh, I see you've redecorated!

For some reason Violet is having routing issues getting to Grim. All she can do is stand in the corner and cry.

Penumbra rushes over and uses her one decision this life stage to...

Penumbra: P-p-please don’t take my dad! At least, not yet! Dad deserves to see my younger brothers grow up... to dance the Smustle at my big sister's wedding... to teach me how to do keg stands once Discover University comes out...

Her pleading works!

Everyone: Woo! Yeah! Booyah!

A while later Iris and Clement are back. I guess Iris must have laid down the law because Clement is actually being helpful and cleaning for once.

Iris: Hey, where’d everyone go? Pennyroyal?! What are you doing here? Pennyroyal: There was a disturbance in the family great enough to pull me back from the afterlife. I thought it had something to do with an impending death but now that I see you’ve captured and enslaved Father Winter and are forcing him to perform the menial duties of a maid maybe that’s it.

Iris: It’s not... we’re... he’s my boyfriend, actually. We’re deeply in love, but now Violet wants him to move out because he set the house on fire. Pennyroyal: I’m glad I’m not alive to see this.

Speaking of things that would have Pennyroyal spinning in his grave.

Gloam: I have to pee so bad! But the bathroom is so far away! Maybe if I do it next to my perpetually stinky brother everyone will just assume it was him.

Oscuro: Finally, somebody is paying attention to me! Is that why my feet suddenly feel warm?

Lacuna has gotten fat.

And Iris is back in her llama costume for some reason.

Iris: What? Clement loves it when I dress like this. We go to conventions together and I - Violet: TMI! Besides, I thought I kicked that freeloading freak to the curb a while ago.

It’s true. Since there was no real way of asking him to leave Violet had to ask Clement to move in to move him out - catch-22. He and Iris bought a cute little place in Windenburg where they can act out Clement’s llama fetish their love can blossom.

It’s Gloam’s young adult birthday, when...

Penumbra: Dad? Dad!?!

Violet: Oh, hey Grim. You know the drill - I beg, you resurrect, yadda yadda yadda, everyone grabs a slice of cake... Grim: NO. Death cannot be denied, only delayed, and Paolo already had more than a lifetime. He must go...

Grim: But I can offer you this decorative gilded urn, ordinarily a $49.99 value...

Happy birthday Gloam. I guess.

Gloam: I know! I'll use my birthday wish to re-ressurrect Paolo, thereby bringing about the Zombie Apocalypse...

Gloam: Did... did it work?

No.

[taiey]

The continuing adventures of “taiey writes liveblogs that probably only make sense with a transcript of the movie to line it up with”.

no peter please don't go after him

he really does get the most dramatic lines—ooh, green reflection in the window!

wow, that's. She really does ask for validation a lot of times

:((( this whole goblin kit thing is really elaborate? like, i thought you would've failed science. there is mechanical engineering. and chemical. for bombs.

That's a really, really stable spider web that is also flexible enough to support them without clinging, at that angle

[obligatory evil meteor mention]

Surprisingly evil-looking mail delivery guy! Uuunless you're her dad and you live here or. Oh, okay.

Oh, May.

But, like, no pressure or anything.

!!! her ring.

ahh evil evil scooter. of evil.

Harry this is not a good way to have an honest conversation. Stop punching your friend. No, I don't care that you're in costume, he's not, that makes it—DON'T STAB HIM!

I guess by the time your friend is yelling at you about his father, while wearing his green goblin costume and standing on his green goblin scooty-fly, it is acceptable to tell your friend his father was the green goblin, despite said father's dying request.

Dude! Attempts at vengeance on your best friend for murder of your father are NOT an excuse for massive property damage! I hope you pay for the repairs OH AND ALSO did no one get hurt by that massive shower of bricks onto a busy street??

"I'm still here! And now I have a lightsaber!"

oh no what if your new superpowers don't cover falling from heights? (I'm sure they do, I know he dies at the end of the movie.)

I wonder, again, if Peter took him out of the goblin costume first. like. awkward.

Wait, what? I thought when that guy jumped/fell out a window he died.

There's marshland in New York? With a terribly ill-secured particle physics laboratory?

OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE! you can't even check how much mass is in the reactor? How many birds with superpowers does New York have now?

Also awkward: imagine if those cops had gotten there slightly differently and fallen into the spinny thing toooo...

Go. See. Him. and hope maybe he doesn't remember you're spiderman if he doesn't remember you saved his liiiffffe  (oh, good.)

Hey, Peter, you maybe want to. idk. Tell MJ. Some relevant facts, about her friends and his father and.

yikes that's some horrifying sand movement. like. yeeesh no.

Oh... your hand cannot pick up your daughter's locket. :( —yes! go hand, reformed hand! Woohoo! :D

Hey, nice green-ing, sand. Good job. Stripy and everything.

Yeah dude no. Don't start talking about spidey now. The other stuff was kinda okay but not, well.

Okay so when there's a large metal beam swinging about nearby your window... maybe... not? with the walking towards it?

Man, what is wrong with this crane?

you did not pick a good guy to insult peter parker to, whatsyaname. eddy. Ed. idk.

“YOU TELL MY WIFE thank you.” heh. Slight, teeny, tiny, character development, I love.

He didn't see you there, I didn't see you with a camera. Where'd you get the camera from, Pete?

Ed. Shut up. He's paying you $50 for a front page shot, he does not value anything about you.

Like, that could be a conflict for Peter, ‘i could stage that and get a steady job’ buut I already know the plot of this movie and can kinda guess how Edward gets that shot.

That is an excellent Stan Lee cameo.

...how much... exactly... has harry lost of his memory... if he doesn't know he has money...

SUPER EVIL REFLEXES!!

...oh, Mary Jane.

...oh no don't you be jealous.

This'd be a really awkward parade thing if he decided to not in faaact show up oh no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

Wow, that sure is a conveniently placed "Sand & Stone" truck. Where'd you get that shovel?

Wow, bullets work surprisingly well considering he's made. of sand.

[obligatory note of happiness about the MJ&Harry bit. and. honesty.]

dude put yer mask back on

ehhhh look the thing about the humble never-asks-to-be-thanked thing is that it doesn't work when. this.

Oh my goodness he asks her? He suggests it?? Peter, no!

"No, Spider Man, no!" I relate to this kid.

like, i've seen gifs ofit, that shekissed him but i did not realise he aSKS HER TO

Yeah, same, Mary Jane!

haha but maybe this time mary jane won't be kidnapped

The sand is now driving a truck. Poorly.

Yeeeesh no, stop, no, ~sheriff~? You’re not.

tbh what if you just. Let him take the money. So much property damage going on here. So very much.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T KISS SOMEONE. WHILE PREPARING TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT. IF.

This guy... is gonna end up bringing you that ring at the worst possible moment during your inevitable argument. Isn't he. Isn't he, Peter.

You could also try telling him you got fired, MJ. He knows that feeling! Kind of.

...not that you should say that, Peter. 'cause it's kind of only kinda.

how have you not noticed how terribly your spider man/actress analogies go over. every single time.

Like in a literary sense it's kinda cool, there are parallels between their experiences, kinda... BUT NOT RIGHT nooow

shhuuuttt uppp (this is all like 5 seconds, i just keep. pausing.)

Hey, what could make Mary Jane feel worse right now? ENTER GWEN STACY.

ENTER GWEN STACY TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KISSED SPIDERMAN

“Who kisses Spiderman?? :D” "Me. Most days. When I'm not mad at him for beiNG TERRIBLE."

I. I'm not sure. like. what the point of that question is. There is no good answer.

No. He did not, MJ. He had idea how it would make you feel, because BOY I DUNNO.

um. usher guy. no. SHE JUST LEFT, WHY WOULD YOU SEND THE CHAMpagne in anyway, whyy

Beep!

Oh, hey! I was right! That other guy did die, probably ...aand it wasn't your fault. technically.

We chased down the wrong guy?

Pfff.

Yeah so I think so far he really hasn't killed anyone. Not counting Norman or Ock on technicalities.

Does he feel guilty? About you or about... okay, don't say "I don't need you" to Mary Jane Watson. That's a bad idea.

The evil ooze has been hanging out in your bedroom for ?? weeks and it's only now that it attacks you? infects. thing.

"Hey, this was a lot quicker than last time I made a new costume."

Spiderman is just, like, an accepted traffic hazard by now, right?

Oh, I'm so glad he's being suspicious of the black goop.

...you're not a biologist, but you can recognise a symbiote on a molecular level in minutes when it's AN ALIEN.

dude please realise you look super evil now. even to —haha like you shouldn't smash people's cameras but also haha

"Little did Spiderman know, I have TWO cameras!"

OK I'll admit the black is legitimately good for hiding on dark ceilings

TRAIN ASSISTED WEB KICK!

oh gosh the body horror from this sand thing—hope that pipe wasn't important--ooh, water works.

...also hope this large tank of pressurised water isn't important and won't flood annnything else.

EVIL HAIR-PULLING-DOWN

...that's... kinda a valid point? but. I mean sure, he should fix the door, probably, just not being polite

Hey, Peter, you made a good decision! Nice! AND STAY OFF.

Aunt May isn't having any of this "murder can be good" stuff.

revenge == the symbiote ??

Waitress/Singer is a job? ...also maybe you should tell your boyfriend about thi—Harry paints? Cool!

(Does Harry know that MJ's dating Peter?)

Yell at people and they offer you oranges?

Hee Ursula! :D

He also cooks! And they dance!

M. J. Do not. Noooooo whyy

oh no. noo. different no. :((( no. Please, Harry. Keep your eyes off 'the ball' and ahhh—hey, there's that scene that wasn't in the VHS version.

Harry?? This is like 20% of the reason you wear a mask, dude!

whiiiplaaash oh my goodness ahh poor Mary Jane.

:((( see this is the kind of quality anguish you can get when you don't just discriminately kidnap, other supervillains take note

pete. pete. pe ter par ker. "I'm breaking up with you" is not. in fact. a good segue to "Let's get married"

Took them three movies but they finally made acting plot relevant. It's not! that hard!

AND THEN. YOU GO BACK TO PETER. AND PRETEND TO BE HIS AMNESIAC BEST FRIEND oh my goodness and then you use her omitive lie about the shoW AND THEN WE GO FULL SM1

“but. but she broke up with *you*, because she was in love with *me*. !!”

what. Why are. you winking?

Bright green coffee sign!

nooo. emotional anguish---->TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES

Right, Harry, overall—because I mean high marks for ingenuity and not-kidnapping, but—you're really lacking on the follow through here, like for keeping up the act. And wow that is a lot alcohol in front of you.

Harry please notice the ominous black spidey suit. Please. Soon.

harry im not sure you've noticed but you have blades. on. ur arm.

Takes symbiote!Pete to point out the obvious: that Norman.didn't.deserve you.

Kinda funny how after all that the picture in question is not, in fact, of Peter actually doing anything wrong.

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED? IT'S not even actually symby-spidey?

Yeah, no, Ed. I can forgive a lot of things. But reposts with the watermarks edited out? Not that.

hahahah

Symby-Pete likes Ursula's food?   . . .ah

*hair flick*

water doesn't kill him forever. :o

OH MAN PETER NO.

symbiote-Pete spends money recklessly.

Oh man, Gwen is so nice.

...alien meteor ooze teaches you to play jazz piano? ...and dance?

blonde hair and the black headband and their clothes and his hair and her earrings... it's a Look.

GWEN STACY IS SO NICE! ("That was all for her? I'm so sorry.")

NO.

get. out.

geddoouutt

"Who are you?" "Well, Mary Jane, I reckon I'm the exact feeling of a church spire silhouetted against the storm clouds, as lightning crashes in the background."

okay so eddy, brocky, rock boy. don't pray to God to kill people. Don't... don't do that.

How. Exactly. Do you recognise the face of a guy you barely know, four floors up, while he's tearing an alien ooze suit off his skin.

oh no his hair's still black

Continuing adventures of That Awful Door.

I hope Aunt May knows he's Spider man, because otherwise there is just waaay too much backstory to explain here.

I think she also wants him to keep the ring so she doesn't have to wear it.

“Spiderman... didn't have those teeth last time... right?”

Maybe not? with the watching her through her window? Also considering last time your saw her in person you hit her maybe not do that first part in person, perhaps.

"On Broad-way."

...you also locked the normal one away? Or, no, that was earlier this night. You just were using the evil one, and stowed that away. ok. gotcha.

Harry! Harry, you could do. a good. ...oh no. peter don't come also what happened to his face??

:(((

OH MAN. BERNARD! i don't think this is gonna work. but. thank you. for. saying that. [it worked!:D]

what happened to your face do you still have superpowers if you're not healing.

It's the real spiderman! He stopped in front of an american flag for a sec!

this reporter overuses the word 'seemed'

Brick!

you're stiiilll fallling

Listen MJ most of the webbing is really strong, you can actually move along it and even if you fall through one level you've got a decent chance of catching the next.

this reporter is so alarmist. and that one.

Goblin bomb!

"I'm not here for you~"

Burn it & smash it! :D

That kid is awesome! ("Film's extra.")

or. you could. shoot web. and not. jump. And maybe get her down somehow? Ground level would be... safer... lotta floors, elevators proabably not working...

why did that work?

ohh. noise.

oh... kay...

[tragic backstories make everything better]

i f o r g i v e y o u .. ..

i like to think he becomes also a superhero. subtler. smaller. never quite noticed, but. bit by bit.

why in the world is gwen at harry's funeral

(mj you do in fact have a job. and. a song to finish singing. um. but anyway)

"Girl at the final battle" yes. Her. Excellent.

The credit songs this time are so... gentle...

(Balance of probabilities Harry died intestate but maybe he drew up a will at some point when he liked Peter and didn’t revoke it and then they can go help Marko’s daughter, perhaps? Maybe.)