#so yeah I was genuinely shocked when it was canceled because all I was seeing was positivity 🤷🏻‍♀️

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Agatha All Along is so so SO much fun!

And so far I have yet to see any of the usual fandom negativity that has been pretty unavoidable the past few years..

Whether that’s because those usual negative people are actually allowing themselves to enjoy life for once (doubtful, but one can hope)

or the more likely option..

That I have become incredibly skilled at keeping that vibe away from all my feeds..

Whichever…if I’m being delusional or not, it doesn’t matter to me..

I’m just happy to sit in my little bubble of positivity..

and enjoy this series..

and continue to love my favourite franchise

no matter how many people love to complain about fun :)

[meejijis]

"Why are all SK fans proshippers" Silence fetus

[hanniebaeee]

Clueless

Jisung x fem!reader

Warnings: nothing!

Genre: colleagues to lovers, flufffff

Summary: You and Jisung are colleagues, and he's in love with you. But he's so nervous and clueless about how to win you over. And in come his brothers, to help out.

It all began with Jisung staring at you for what feels like the 397th time that week. The way your soft smile lights up his world whenever you greet him, the way you tap your pen against your lip during team meetings, and the way you always manage to help him without a second thought - Jisung is completely, utterly gone.

And yet, he is clueless. Clueless as to how to make you notice him as more than the guy who fumbled through presentations and ogles at you like you're his favorite cheesecake.

So naturally, he turns to the only people he can think of for help. His brothers.

Jisung: I NEED HER.

I.N: Umm who?

Minho: Oh my god. It’s that girl again.

Hyunjin: A girl, I see. Is she cute?

Felix: Guys, let him speak.

Chan: Okay, Jisung. What’s the problem?

Seungmin: Jisung has a crush.

Jisung: I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH.

Seungmin: Sure you don't. You're totally not unhinged rn.

Jisung: I'M NOT UNHINGED.

Seungmin: What's with the yelling then?

Jisung: I have… feelings. Serious ones.

Minho: So you’re down bad.

Hyunjin: Tragic. Who’s the victim?

Jisung: Y/N Y/L/N

Complete silence.

I.N: She’s out of your league, bro.

Jisung: THAT’S NOT HELPFUL.

Hyunjin: No, but seriously. She’s so sweet. Like so so sweet. Sweet sweet.

Chan: HYUNJIN.

Hyunjin: Sorry.

Felix: That’s why we’re here! To help him not ruin it. Right, guys?

Minho: um, sure.

Jisung stares at the chat, already regretting his decision. These are a bunch of maniacs for heaven's sake! He waits, holding his breath, while Felix breaks the silence.

Felix: Ok, let's brainstorm.

Minho: Easy. Corner her in the supply closet and say, “I need you. Now.”

Jisung: Excuse me, WHAT.

Hyunjin: No, wait. That’s brilliant. Push her against the wall for added effect. Women love tension.

Changbin: Are you sure about that?

Felix: Guys. Wtf.

Chan: Jisung, please don’t do that.

Jisung: I wasn’t GOING TO.

I.N: You sure?

Chan: Just start small. Be genuine. Compliment her work.

Felix: Yeah, that's a good plan.

Jisung groans, burying his face in his hands. Of course this is a bad idea. How's he going to compliment you when just the sight of you has him falling apart like a house of cards.

The next morning, Jisung walks into the office with a mission. Chan's advice sounds promising, so that's what he's going to follow.

At least that's what he thought he'd do. But the moment you walk into the room in that cute cardigan, his brain turns into mashed potatoes.

“Good morning, Jisung!” You say, smiling at him as usual.

“Good morning.” Jisung clears his throat, his hands turning ice cold.

“Everything ok?” You ask as you see him glitching.

“Yeah, of course, perfect… you know, just thinking about.. um.. work.. it's good, you do good work…Work.” Jisung stares at you wide eyed, feeling faint.

Your brows furrow a little, but you still smile as you say, “Thank you?”

Jisung barely makes it through the rest of the day without combusting. He just wants the earth to split open and swallow him whole because there's absolutely no point in trying to be alive after that.

Jisung: GUYS. I MESSED UP.

Minho: Shocking.

Jisung: I tried to compliment her, but I think I said “work” five times in a row.

Hyunjin: Should've cornered her in the supply closet.

Chan: Relax, Jisung. Everyone gets nervous.

Changbin: Nah, screw the soft play. You gotta go BIG.

Jisung: What does “BIG” mean?

Changbin: Like a grand gesture. Buy her flowers or something.

Hyunjin: Or serenade her in the breakroom.

Felix: No. Don't do that.

Seungmin: What about showing off your strengths? You’re funny. Make her laugh.

Minho: Yeah, tell her a joke about how bad you are at flirting. Maybe it’ll cancel itself out.

Jisung decides to take Seungmin’s advice. Because, even if he's a nervous mess, he is a funny guy. So the next day, during lunch, he manages to sit next to you.

“Mind if I join you? ” he asks, pretending his heart wasn’t about to leap out of his throat.

Your smile and say, “Of course not.”

But then, he doesn't give it a minute before he executes his plan.

“I’m not great at this whole… flirting thing,” Jisung blurts out as soon as he sits. “But I think I’d like to learn. You. I mean, not learn you. I mean, yes, but not in the creepy way. Unless you’re - WAIT.”

He stops talking and breathing as he looks down at his food, trying to pull himself together.

You blink, biting your lip to stifle a laugh.

“You’re doing fine, Jisung.” you say with a giggle and the warmth in your voice makes his cheeks burn.

“Yeah?” he asks, looking up at you.

“Yeah,” you say, tilting your head. “Maybe we can grab coffee sometime, and you can practice on me.”

Jisung didn’t respond because he's too busy screaming internally.

Jisung: SHE SAID YES. OH MY GOD. SHE SAID YES.

I.N: TO WHAT?!

Jisung: COFFEE.

I.N: AHHH!

Hyunjin: Oh wow. Okay, don’t screw this up.

Minho: Bring her flowers.

Changbin: And chocolate.

Felix: Just show up and be yourself.

Minho: Ew. Get out of here with that wholesome nonsense.

Chan: You'll do just fine.

Jisung puts his phone down, already plotting how to make the coffee date perfect. For once, he feels confident.

But then, as the date nears he's a mess again.

“Do I go casual? Or formal? What's even a business-casual?!” he mutters to himself before grabbing his phone and typing furiously into the group chat.

Jisung: What do I wear to a coffee date??

Felix: Something comfy. Think effortlessly cute.

Chan: yep, don’t overdress.

Minho: Wear black. It’s sexy.

Changbin: Yeah, nothing too tight. You’ll sweat like a pig.

Seungmin: Avoid your Pikachu hoodie. Please.

Jisung: I wasn’t going to wear that (but thanks for the heads up)

Hyunjin: 🤣🤣

I.N: 🤣🤣

His confidence wavers a little as he stands in front of the mirror dressed in a nice fitted charcoal grey sweatshirt, and a pair of black jeans. Whatever, this has to do. But now, the flowers.

Jisung: What flowers do I get?

Hyunjin: Roses. Red ones. Lots of them. Nothing says, “I want to rip your clothes off” like red roses.

Minho: Oh yeah roses.

Changbin: Nah, go for orchids. They’re rare and exotic. It shows taste.

I.N: Sunflowers. They’re happy. Go for the whole cheerful and sweet vibe.

Felix: Yeah, sunflowers! They’re cute, like her.

Chan: Go with whatever feels right, you got this👍

Seungmin: Yeah. Go for your favorite?

Jisung’s head spins as he tries to process this. And as he finally stands in a flower shop, staring at the riot of colors, his eyes move to one particular bunch. He leaves the store clutching the bouquet like it is his lifeline.

The moment he sees you in front of the café, Jisung forgets how to breathe. You look so pretty in your simple yellow dress. It's a beautiful mustard yellow - plain, flowing. And you have left your hair down, just how he likes it.

“Hey,” you greet him softly, as he approaches you.

“Hi,” he manages, handing you the bouquet of sunflowers with shaky hands. “These are for you.”

Your face lights up as you take the flowers, holding them close.

“Oh my gosh, sunflowers are my favorites! How did you know?” you say, grinning happily at him.

And you look like sunshine personified in your yellow dress and sunflowers. Jisung’s cheeks turn crimson as he tries not to drool at you.

“Lucky guess?” he says, and his heart almost springs out of his chest when you take his hand and lead him into the cafe.

The date starts off with a nervous energy, but to Jisung’s surprise, your warmth is contagious. You laugh at his jokes (even the dumb ones) and you are just so…interested in him, that he finds himself relaxing in your company. Jisung knows he's completely in love with you. He can't control the happiness that's taking over him. This is just perfect.

And you? You are smitten.

“Okay, serious question,” you say as you stir your cup of mocha. “What made you choose suflowers? I mean, I love them, but I’m curious.”

Jisung freezes for a second, but he tells you the truth. Well half truth.

“They… remind me of you,” he says. “Bright and beautiful.”

Your heart melts and you blush as you say, “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“I - uh - thanks?”

Jisung walks you home, hours later, and it's like he doesn't even know why he was so nervous before. When you stop at your door and turn to him, there's a shy smile on your face.

“Thank you for today, Jisung,” you say. “I had a great time.”

Jisung feels like his heart might just burst.

“Me too.” he says. “Um…so, I'll be…um-”

You giggle, leaning up to kiss his cheek. Your lips linger for a second too long before you whisper, “Goodnight, Jisung.”

As you disappear inside, Jisung takes time to unfreeze, his hand pressed to his cheek where your lips had been.

Jisung: SHE KISSED ME.

Hyunjin: SHE WHAT?! LIPS OR CHEEK?

Jisung: CHEEK.

I.N: Oh my GOD 🤩

Changbin: Good work 👍

Felix: That’s huge 😍

Minho: I give it three dates.

Seungmin: Two, if he doesn’t do anything stupid.

Chan: That's amazing, Jisung!

Jisung: Oh my God, today was great.

Jisung: I could die happy.

Jisung: I'm gonna go plan our next date.

Hyunjin: He's definitely planning their wedding.

Felix: Hehe, goodnight, Ji.

Jisung puts his phone down, smiling to himself. For the first time, he feels great about this. You're even more perfect than he thought. You made him feel great about himself. And he couldn't wait to do this again.

a/n: Trying new things! I love reading all the fake text scenarios here and they're so good, so I wanted to try too!

[necroangelz]

RARE EDITBLR SHOCKING HOT TAKES THAT WILL SHOCKINGLY SHOCK YOU!!!!!

following trends and doing what's popular is okay because it allows people to gain interactions and a bigger following by doing what's popular!! and it's also okay because trends are usually what people like, so it makes sense if someone genuinely enjoys following a trend!! people can branch out, do their own thing, and find their own style later!

actively expressing positivity, and helping or encouraging each other is what will help a community. making big rant posts, or rant accounts centered around negativity, without offering even a simple solution to fix the problems you're calling out, is not helping!!

(the other ones are under the cut. also feel free to reblog with editblr hot takes that will shockingly shock you!!)

sometimes things just... aren't a big deal. sometimes it genuinely does not matter

another person's personal business, creative decisions, etc. is not your business!

if you see someone who's not really educated on a certain topic or issue (and i mean, genuinely not educated. i don't mean people who are ignorant), the best move to take is to: patiently and kindly educate them! the worst move to take is to: yell at them and cancel them for not being as informed as you are.

people need to be careful with the words they throw around. it's not good to overuse words that have a very big weight on them, because those are important and sensitive words that shouldnt lose their meaning because people kept using them lightly. (what i mean is: people who throw around the words racist, ableist, etc. all the time even when what they're complaining about is not really either of those things.)

on the topic of words: it's important to be careful of the words you use online, and it's also important to be patient with people who worded their statements badly on accident.

don't treat every person like they're your friend. be aware of their boundaries and don't be overly comfortable with them if you don't actually know them. you are not automatically entitled to someone (or their personal business, or anything else) just because you're mutuals.

don't treat every person like they're your enemy. maybe you don't really need to be doubtful and passive aggressive towards a random person you see online.

gatekeeping kinda sucks tbh

god sometimes i find editblr so stupid like how do you create so much drama from a community that edits anime characters. how just HOW. and why.

please don't forget the other people behind the screen. the network of other people behind their screens. please.

sometimes people take the littlest problems and turn them into something HUGE even if it could all just be solved by a couple of civil conversations in dms. sometimes people take the littlest things and slap the "PROBLEMATIC!!!!!!!" label on it without even trying to understand what it is they're labeling as "PROBLEMATIC!!!"

people get followers then their ego becomes so high and they treat other people like dirt and think that their word is fucking scripture or something

oh yeah another hot take: i don't really like low contrast cluttered maximalist edits but if it's actually someone's style then I'll let it pass especially if it's good /silly

[spicybylerpolls]

It is genuinely ASTONISHING to see how many people are against your blog because they believe “it’s bad/weird to fantasize” or they say stuff like, “analyzing is fine. fantasizing is evil.” Actually fantasization is a divine gift, a spiritual experience, one of the best things we can do as humans. And most clearly Bylers agree!

They spend all day fantasizing about Mike and Will holding hands, going on dates, kissing, even ‘making out sloppily’ but the second we on the spicy side say that we want Byler to fuck, people start freaking out. How dare you fantasize?

Stick to analysis, freak.

Can someone please tell me why sex is such a big weird scandalous taboo? Have we gone back in time? Is this an evangelical youth group? Is this Catholic school? Are we Mormons? To fight back, some say, “Oh I’m not fantasizing, I’m just exploring the character dynamics” as if fantasizing will implicate them as some kind of dirty rotten sinner, as if this is some kind of gotcha that will expose fandom nonces.

But I don’t get it. I’m doing both, unapologetically! I’m exploring Byler’s dynamics, just like we do with ever other HC and canon analysis point, AND I’m fantasizing about them fucking like rabbits until the end of time, just like we fantasize about how the Byler kiss will go or how Mike will finally admit his sexuality.

Last time I checked, sex is part of sexuality, it’s literally in the name, and it’s a Divine Gift. Mike and Will are not disembodied beings who only want to hold hands and look at flowers all day. They are gay teenage boys who are sexually ravenous for each other. It’s clear this era of Puriteens didn’t devour Reddie or Stenborough smut under the covers while giggling and kicking their feet. And none of them would have SURVIVED the Harry Potter fandom.

The other side of this are the adult fancops who are siding with the puriteens and constantly trying to cancel Bylers for thinking unholy thoughts. You can only think analytical thoughts while wearing suits and taking cold showers. Meanwhile 65% of the fandom is openly attracted to Finn, and I’m supposed to be gaslit into thinking this doesn’t translate into their experience actually watching the show? I’m supposed to believe they watched him drool over Will’s ass and then said, “No, he didn’t do that”?

“But why aren’t you fantasizing about adult ships like J0pper or JAncy or or or-”

Because I don’t care about them? No offense. I’ve never read J0pper or JAncy fanfic in my life. And this isn’t J0pper Tumblr? It’s Byler Tumblr. I’m a Byler and naturally I want to see my favorite characters rail each other romantically? And it’s very, dare I say, unnatural and unrealistic when you read fanfics and Mike and Will kiss each other and don’t so much as get a boner. One boner?

I’m so tired. It’s utter gobbledegook.

Especially giving the context of what Stranger Things and Byler represents, it’s so obvious that sexual exploration is the natural evolution for these characters in their arcs in Season 5. Self-actualization and an embrace of the queer experience in all its sensuality and beauty.

The shame WILL be on the other side.

yeah, all great points! I think people get overprotective and hyper-vigilant, and they want to make sure they're taking a strong stand against their nebulous, exaggerated, hypothetical image of the shadowy "30-year old creep" getting off to Byler smut in a dark room.

but you're right that all Bylers "fantasize" about many things, even those most vocal in the analyze-only movement. technically all of Byler is "fantasizing," since they aren't together yet and they are fictional. we're all just envisioning scenarios and situations!

for some reason tho, people are chill with people daydreaming about every romantic scenario imaginable and chill with people conjuring up sad, tragic, angsty situations involving Vecna and bullying and pain. but sex? no. sex is shocking, alarming, and frightening.

also, this is definition of fantasize:

there's nothing inherently creepy about that definition. It's neutral.

[fandoomrants]

So I have this love-hate thing for the whole Hunger Games because while I've seen the movies and read the books and I've been hyped and I've waited for each movie, gone to see it, etc, and I usually don't like First POV in books yet everything in them is so brilliant... It gives me chills. Because I can't say the writing itself is a masterpiece in terms of language used, although it's brilliant because it fits the perspective of a teenage girl, it's raw and doesn't sugarcoat anything, the way everything is presented is amazing and that's the whole appeal actually.

The Capitol, for example. They're shown almost as the bad guys, not just Snow but all the citizens because they find the games interesting and don't do anything to stop them. And District 13, which was believed to be destroyed and then we find out it's not and in the beginning this is like some light in the tunnel but then we slowly realise that Coin and Snow aren't too different and they're both power hungry and cruel in their own ways while at the same time we meet people from the Capitol who aren't bad and genuinely want to help and change this reality. And all the layers that get revealed until we reach these conclusions along with Katniss...

But what really scares me is that... This isn't entirely unlikely to happen in the future. Like, we already have distopian novels that have influenced real reality shows and we have way too many shows about survival and all of that, the only difference is that people aren't dying there (but you know what, there have been death cases in some! They cancelled one season or Survivor in my country years ago because someone died) so really, the line here is thin. And if it's not really about the games really happening, then there's the political situation. That's even more likely to happen one day. These thoughts have always been holding me from truly getting in this fandom.

And now revisiting it when I'm much older, I see other sides of it. And I think I dislike some things even more but at the same time... I can't help but find some understanding of the Capitol citizens. And no, has nothing to do with TBOSAS and young Snow. If anything, this scares me even more because what do we see there? A character we already know and despise that suddenly people start liking him because he looks good (no judgement here. I admit he looks good. I just can't simp), and people finding the games boring in the book/movie itself and then also people seeing the movie complaining about the same part with the games because it wasn't as interesting as the ones in the OG trilogy? The Capitol is basically the same as almost every one of us.

And let's face it - we see the Capitol and its citizens as bad because we get to see it in the OG trilogy through Katniss's eyes, a girl which was brought up in poverty and knows what real hunger and dealing with this life is but this is almost like comparing a third world country to... Almost every other country. Because the Capitol is loud, it's obsessed with crazy things, shows, fashion trends, etc but this is not too far from our own lives. And we as an audience are shocked by them just because we see them compared to the Districts and their life but in fact, we're living in a world which is so much closer to the Capitol than it is to any of the districts. And it's the same thing happening with Snow. He's charming and uses it to his advantage, and is played by a good-looking actor and people like him just the way people like Snow in TBOSAS.

And another thing I've already seen people commenting on but I still wanna add is that we have these movies which I believe are good adaptations but most of the characters are played by older actors. Like, go look at some actual teenagers and imagine them in these scenes where children are killing and dying... (When's the last time y'all saw a 14yo? Imagine this being an actual victor of these games...)

So yeah, these things really make me think how it's a brilliant story but the concepts we see there are so messed... (And a good proof is how I have way too many thoughts of the games and their making and wanna know more despite how wrong they are...)

[alfiely-art]

I'm voting Kotoko Guilty this round for quite a few reasons. First off, the only other two characters who have been voted guilty are Haruka and Muu. Yk. Minors. Who are already in a shitty mindset, who's verdict will most likely make that worse? Yeah. I would rather not have them beat up by Kotoko. And she WOULD beat them up- she would have beat up Amane if she hadn't been stopped, and Amane is much younger than Haruka and Muu.

I don't even mind her fighting injustice to feel good about herself. I mean, she's still fighting injustice. Regardless of her personal feelings about it, she's still doing good things. It's the way she goes about it that worries me. The article she was reading on her phone states that "more violence than necessary was used". Of course, the article could always be biased, but Kotoko has shown herself to be a violent person. Her call to us to vote everyone else in Milgram as Guilty, regardless of their crime, is a request for us to give her permission to make them her enemy and crush them. She would apply the same amount of force to, say, Yuno- someone who simply had an abortion because she didn't want the baby- as a person who kidnapped a child.

Kotoko sees everything in black and white. Yuno's "crime" of an abortion is just as evil as Haruka's crime of murder. Here's a reminder of the character's crimes (from my understanding):

Haruka: killed out of desperation to be seen, to have his mother finally acknowledge him after he wasn't good enough (ie, neurotypical) to keep up with the other kids.

Yuno: Had an abortion because she didn't want the baby. She didn't have some tragic reason why, she had a normal life. She was simply doing as she pleased.

Fuuta: Took part in cancel culture, which ended up doxxing a minor and she took her own life. He didn't want to accept responsibility for this, but it was clearly weighing on his mind.

Muu: She bullied others with her friends, and then her friends turned on her. She reached out to a classmate for help, but didn't receive any. Muu stabbed her in a panic, after alluding to either her or the classmate dying at the end of all of this.

Shido: Medical malpractice ? I think ? It's still not clear to me idk

Mahiru: Abused her boyfriend until he offed himself due to her sheltered life and toxic positivity. She feels as though she can't change, and she wants someone to love even if it hurts both of them.

Kazui: Lied about romantically loving his wife so that he could fit in to society at large. When he finally opened up about his feelings, the shock of it all caused his wife to end her life. He cared for her, but can't continue lying like this.

Amane: Killed her abuser, and is clinging to religion to both justify it to herself and comfort herself.

Mikoto: Still unclear whether he or John did the murder, how many murders there were, who was murdered, etc. The focus isn't exactly on the murder, moreso how mentally ill people are pushed to their limit with no support or help from others and the unhealthy coping mechanisms that can arise from that.

She tells us to throw away our sympathy. But understanding and kindness and sympathy are so so so important- not just in Milgram, but everywhere else, too. Yes, these are just characters, but a popular theory is that they represent societal issues. And I do believe that's true. They may not be real, but they represent real problems real people face. By ignoring the nuance, we blindly swing at whatever we're told is "guilty". Kotoko only attacked the prisoners we announced as Guilty. She won't act on her own moral code, merely the law. We are the law in Milgram, so she follows us.

I adore Kotoko, but her mindset is genuinely dangerous. While this is unlikely (cough, Amane) I hope her Guilty vote will help her. But it probably won't- Guilty votes destroy a person. But I can't vote her Innocent, either. I don't forgive her for her black and white thinking. Thus, she is Guilty to me. I'm very curious how she'll develop after this. I'm a little scared, too, but oh well.

[atranswomansdiary]

Day 156

November 8, 2020

“Dies ist der Morgen danach Und meine Seele liegt brach Dies ist der Morgen danach Ein neuer Tag beginnt Und meine Zeit verrint”

So, yeah: it is the morning after.

Things went well, I guess? Not as I expected at all but, in retrospect, I don’t know what the fuck was I thinking about when I imagined things going, let’s put it this way, “smoothly” when it is about things that concern me.

First things first: of course that one of my siblings forgot what I had asked and fucking missed the family meeting! She was kind of apologetic, saying that she really, absolutely had to meet with her boyfriend this very day, but it was still a shitty thing to do, in my opinion. If someone who never does so asks you, explicitly and ahead of time, to please be present for something, I think the least you can do is either commit to it or say outright that you won’t be there. I imagine that she didn’t want to be there because she didn’t want to be part of the family drama? I don’t know and, to be honest, I don’t think it really matters. I don’t think her presence would’ve changed the outcome or the others' reactions.

When I found out about them not being there, I had to make a decision. Either I canceled the whole thing or I moved forward. I decided to be respectful to my other sisters (and to my parents) and just go ahead with the thing.

We ate some lunch, had some chit-chat, and then the time came for me to open up and tell them the reason for the family meeting. Instead of going for some kind of preface or explanation, I chose to go for the Aristotelian line of reasoning. In other words: I started with the conclusion.

So I told them what I had told my (remaining and former) friends: “I’m considering transitioning”.

Let’s start with the positive stuff. My younger sister’s reaction was almost everything I could have hoped for. She asked me the usual questions—”Are you sure? Have you considered whether you're just gay?” Etc.—and, once I reassured them that yes, I was sure of at least considering the possibility, she seemed to be onboard. No drama there—at least not for now.

Speaking of drama: my dad cried. Like a lot. And he never cries. It shocked me and it really threw me off, but it was at least an emotional reaction, and he said it was because he was imagining my suffering. Of course I cried during this part as well. And if that had been all, if this was the full report, I’d say that it went OK. Could’ve been better, but it could’ve been way worse too.

And then we come to the subject of my mom.

Being completely transparent here, this was the reaction that matter to me the most. Not because I love her more than my dad or my sisters, but because she’s the one I have the closest relationship with. We talk almost every day over the phone and we have long conversations. She genuinely cares for me and my well-being, and does everything in her power to help me. She sends me frozen meals cooked by her, she washes my clothes (and sometimes irons them, against my protestations), and is all around just there for me, you know?

And she’s also, in her own words, a Roman Catholic. And a traditionalist and all around conservative. She’s the type of person that complains that life was better before… And she actually means it. She’s not a homophobe, but seeing two homosexuals displaying any signs of affection makes her squirm. She doesn’t practice her religion much… But you wouldn’t know it by listening to her. She is, all in all, a proper baby boomer with a pension that’s a misery but who still thinks that capitalism and our overall system are as good as it's ever going to get.

So now you understand why her reaction was so important to me—and why I dreaded it so much.

I was thinking the other day, trying to see if my memories could help me foresee her reaction… And the results were not great.

I remember two instances where she and I didn’t agree on important issues and it became a problem. The first was about religion—of course! We had many arguments back in the day, when I was young and stupid (I’m no longer young, thank you very much). At one point, it got so bad that I used to either work all weekend or escape to my grandparents’ or a friend’s house in order to avoid arguing with her.

The second time I recall was the time when I told her that I had decided to study philosophy once I was finished with high school. I don’t know why, but she lost it. This time we didn’t argue so much as she just stopped talking to me and looked at me like I had a disease or something for days.

In both instances, things only got better when I gave in. I just stopped saying out loud what I though about religion at home. I kept my ideas in general to myself and to whoever wanted to listen to me. And I didn’t study philosophy after high school.

Come to think of it, there’s another very important thing my mom and I have never agreed upon… And this is the only instance I can think of in which I’ve gone directly against her wishes. My mom doesn’t really like that I’m a writer. She never has. She never asks about it, nor has she never expressed any words of support for me regarding it. In fact, she always asks, “when are you going to get a real job?” whenever she can. And I’ve been pretty serious about writing (at least as much as an asshole like me can be about anything) for the past… Decade? Whoa! Times flies away indeed.

And yet, in spite of her lack of support and constant sabotage, I haven’t given in. And every time she’s been happy because I got a “real job” in the past ten years, for one reason or another, I’ve felt myself dying a little inside.

You can tell I’m delaying the inevitable, can’t you?

So, what happened? Nothing awful. At least not dramatically awful or anything like that. She didn’t disavow of me or ask me to leave, no. She just stood there, by my side, looking straight ahead (and perhaps avoiding looking at me?) and didn’t say a single thing. Not one word came out of her mouth. She didn’t cry like my dad nor asked questions like my sister. She just stood there, stone-faced and seemingly in shock. She said something about it being “my life” and “my business” (or something to that effect) and then avoid talking about it for the rest of the evening.

A part of me wants to believe that she’ll change her attitude regarding this, that maybe one day she’ll say that it’s OK, that she loves me and she’ll embrace me and say something like “I love you just the way you are. I always have and I always will.” Yeah, well, I didn’t say that I was a good writer.

Another part of me, the more cynical or realistic one, tells me that no, that this is it. That I have to continue forward and make my decision—whether to transition or not—regardless of my mom’s support… Or lack thereof. That a decision as important as this one can only be made from my center, from whatever makes me me. That it cannot depend on external approval of any kind, my mom’s included.

So here I am, the morning after, wondering whether this’ll be like religion or me studying philosophy… Or like being a writer. This is perhaps the greatest, cruelest test to my incipient transness. Will I go forward or will I go back? Can I? Today, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow. Definitely, one day, I hope I will know for sure.

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[crowpricorn]

What do you think of demisexual jesper?:)

I think that, even if he didn't label himself as demisexual, he wouldn't have the relationship with sex and dating that the series and part of the fandom peg him to have. This is just my personal opinion and interpretation, but I believe Jesper to be the goofy boy who flirts all the time but is inherently a romantic at heart. he cares about his first kiss but mostly about his first time: I think he would fuck up (because when doesn't he?) and perhaps drunk-kiss people, and then being the massive people pleaser that he is he would just go with the flow of the rumors about him.

I personally don't give much weight to labels, I just wholeheartedly think that Jesper is not a slut, that he is loyal, a romantic, that he doesn't want to have sex with whoever he meets and that, on the contrary, he just wants to have sex with the person he loves. the vision of jesper that I see around feeds into harmful-ish bisexual stereotypes in my opinion, and it shocks me because I didn't read him like that: I read him like those 17 years old boys I knew from high school that would joke about sex all the time, say they went on countless dates and that they had the biggest dicks, and they were just... virgin boys who joke-flirted and joke talked about sex. that's closer to jesper in my vision than accomplished town slut who, at 17, fucked the whole of ketterdam into submission (and yes, matthias was obviously not serious there, he was just stressing how flirty Nina and jesper are, not claiming their body count // since we also know that Nina, although working in a pleasure house, surely doesn't sell her body).

so yeah I do love demisexual jesper, I think jesper would fit into the demisexual community rather than the whore community (again, I know it's a different world and age but! he is 17!). from how I read it: yes, there's a couple hinted rumors about slut jesper (mostly from kaz's perspective), but they could just be rumors, especially because most of the time... yes, he flirts. but he flirts like a loser! and he had a waffle date with a girl he even forgot to cancel. and he kissed wylan before certain death only for the kiss to be tasteless and meaningless and to find out that that was not wylan. and he had a crush-idealization on his best friend / boss (and who doesn't have crush-idealizations at 15? I did! most (queer) people I know did, mostly on close friends they admired and felt safe with). yes, there's these things in the books but... the way he interacts with wylan, talks about the kiss(es) with wylan... that's very demisexual to me! and even if it wasn't, that's very far away from the town slut idea of him that runs around lately. that's a very human thing (to want to have sex with someone you trust and love, and not casually): he could be a boy who loves sex and has a good relationship with sex, because that's also very much part of the human experience but 1. if he had sex around it wouldn't be healthy, it would be self-destructive because jesper in the Barrel is self-destructive but 2. he doesn't talk and think like a person who even had sex once, let alone countless times, so I genuinely don't understand where slut jesper comes from

also, if you want to deepen the demisexual jesper thing, there's a fic by Randomcat1832 that is all based on jesper's relationship with sex (ace / demi jesper) [I still have to read it but it's been recommended to me as a very good fic] and a couple other fics by nura (@americanbeautiies) that mention / hint demi jesper (here and here) and that I really enjoyed!

[epithet-beloved]

scuttles in here with mr. krabs noises. could you possibly do some romantic stuff with dan gansley? i love my unlucky boy very much but there’s literally nothing for him and seeing him in the master list got me so excited.

DAN GANSLEY DATING HEADCANONS

synopsis… headcanons about dating dan gansley!

ft. dan gansley, mera salamin (mentioned), indus tarbella (mentioned)

tags… epithet erased spoilers, relationship study

word count… 822

a/n… seeing this ask in the morning genuinely woke me up grinning and delighted like THIS is the reason we made this blog!! i humbly offer you food – do enjoy!! (i think my excitement is obvious…) ✧ 🦝

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You are God’s strongest soldier.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Dan is a good guy, honestly, but he’s also consistently dangerous to be around for a variety of reasons. (Mostly the horrific luck.  The crime too.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I can just imagine him trying to rizz you up and then when he goes to lean on the wall he falls over, and then falls down the stairs that are conveniently there as you watch, dumbfounded.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He fancies himself a smooth-talker, but he is sweating BULLETS anytime he’s confronted with having to have a conversation with you he’s a WRECCKKKKK.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I imagine he’ll fall for you because you almost seem to cancel out his bad luck.  You remember his keys, help him out when he’s using his abilities, and you wait for him, never straying too far ahead.

You watch as Dan pats his pockets, brow furrowing and moustache moving as he scrunches his face in realisation.  As he’s about to lament loudly for everyone to hear about how he lost his keys, you swoop in like an angel and take his hand, leaving the item in his palm.  He stares at them as you simply walk away, then he looks up at you.  For once, Dan Gansley is shocked into silence.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You’re kind of his blessing in disguise, and everyone can kind of tell his soft spot for you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Despite this… when he’s actually in the process of falling in love, he’s a bit stuck by a river in Egypt for a hot second.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It probably takes someone like Mera or Indus to mention how obvious the crushing is, or already congratulating him on a relationship that doesn’t exist yet.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Being the easily flustered guy he is, he’d sputter and insist that they’re dead wrong, but the deadpan or blank look he gets in response makes him realise he probably has to think deeper about what you two are.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 UGH, can you imagine his confession??  He probably tries to create this grand gesture of affection for you and it’s all on fire (literally) by the end of it.  He’s convinced he’s ruined it.  And yet you just take his hand???  And return his feelings??????  Dan Gansley could die right now and he’d die the happiest man on the planet.

It’s over.  Well and truly over.  Dan stares on in horror at the display he had prepared for you in flames.  It had been going so well, too well, and it just had to go wrong while you’re standing in front of him. “Ah– d-don’t look!  Listen, I have another thing to show you; something, uh, better!”  He insists, the wild magic already manifesting in his hands.  “I’ll do something, prove I’m worthy of your…” He trails off when your hand takes his, and the magic vanishes into the air as you meet.  Dan glances up at you questioningly before noticing the amusement shining in your eyes and the gentle smile you give him. He understands, and he returns with a lopsided grin of his own.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 That post like “if i had a lame ass boyfriend i would hype him so much”???  Yeah that’s the dynamic.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Omgggg you’re like those parents who are so affectionate with one another it makes the children (Mera) groan loudly and crave death.

“Mera, if you do not take care of the paperwork, Dan Gansley over here, ah, is gonna hit on his beautiful partner in front of you for all to see—” ”OH GOD NO FINE I'M DOING IT I’M DOING IT.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 (Credit to 🦇 for that one.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You are the richest person in the world, if you count your Gansley bucks.  (However, this dumbass does expect payment with them for kisses.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Talks big and hits on you, but shoot right back with flirtation of your own and he’s down for the count god rest his soul.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You’re introduced with your surname being Gansley at least once.  At LEAST.  He can be so confident at the most inconsistent moments.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 When people ask about your relationship he likes to weave tales about how he’s your daring hero and you depend on him and his power.  Please butt in with the truth and you’ll bear witness to this man beet red in the face.

“Ahhh, you should’ve been there!”  Dan laughs, as if remembering a fond memory.  “There was a pit, right in the middle of the railroad, and though I was at my wit’s end, I saved my dearest with a—” “Hold on.  Weren’t you half-covered in gold for that entire chase?”  You, passing by, interrupt.  Dan pauses, and drops his head down as the other begins to laugh while you tell the real story.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s slightly afraid of endangering your life, what with his bad luck.  He’d hate to lose you.  Where would he be without his angel?!  (Which, actually, became his favourite nickname for you.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Ugh I wrote so much for this i love him too much.  Live laugh love Dander Fun Gansley. 

[galansu]

Oliver and why he's Going to Hell (a rant)

It's hard to write a character when you know they're gonna go to hell in the end. Or at least when they die. You've aligned them to being morally good, fighting against evil, and yet when they die, they're sent away while some of the people they've fought against are sent to heaven. Not for things they did in the past. But because of things they've always done.

Oliver's deeds as a hero and his support to the team do not cancel out the fact that he mutilated and bioengineered people into monstrosities and continued to do it throughout his career (as of now). Sure, it helps that he tests everything (that he shows to the public) he makes before he uses it on the people he trusts and loves. But it's not good that he's tested it (being prototypes and first time experiments) on unwilling and unknowing subjects. I'm not just talking about rats or mice, I'm talking about people. He grew and made people in his lab so he wouldn't have to kidnap and experiment on someone who already had a life and a future. He made people to essentially kill them. Sure, they didn't have a sense of consciousness in later versions he created since the screaming of brutality and begging for mercy was a lot, but I mean?? He saw the only problem being the defiance and not the "No, please! Don't do this!"???

He lives with the trauma of seeing his parents die at a young age. Of getting disowned by the last bits of family he had left. Of one of his experiments going wrong and terribly electrocuting him, scarring him for life. Yes, he's suffered. Yes, he's not all mentally well. But he continues to do unethical things and sees no reason to stop when his methods give good results. He does experiment on himself when he knows the results won't end with him dead, but if he needs to take something apart to get answers then he'll resort to growing a clone/life form of that species.

I believe in the idea that if you do bad things in the past and change and grow as a person in the future, you'll be considered a good person in the eyes of judgement. I believe that people can be redeemed and bettered if they work on themselves and prove they've changed with time, as well as genuinely believe in the good they do afterwards. I feel like Oliver, if he decides to change later on, can be able to make it to heaven in the afterlife. But as he is right now, he's going to hell.

I imagine it going something like this. Oliver dies in a lab incident. He begins to go up to heaven, a bit nonchalant about just dying. He walks up to this big gate that has many different entries to it, going up to one of them and waiting to be allowed inside. When he gives them his name, they don't find it on their list anywhere. He's shocked and terrified. They tell him to check "downstairs", as he's sent plummeting through the skies to the hells below. The gates are like mirror image of what heaven has, minus the clouds and the bright golden color. It has a rusty look to it, the entire place a wasteland of firey rocks and magma. Oliver sheepishly goes to enter, and is horrified when they tell him he's on the list. He begs and asks why. The stuff I said above is told to him. Bioengineering with malicious intent. Modifying subjects against their will. Creating life just to take it away. And then he's ushered inside.

TLDR: Oliver is going to hell because he does cruel experiments and causes suffering even though he helps save the universe. If he stops his cruel methods and finds a different way that doesn't involve killing people or mutilating them, then he can go to heaven.

"b-but galans you wrote him 🥺" yeah and it hurts me that he's gonna go to hell so i want him to have character development at some point where he changes his methods

"so why don't you just write that now you don't tell us much about him anyway we would have never known" i want you to know he's a silly boy when it comes to being friends with people and most of his inventions but his experiments suck and I CAN FIX HIM!!!!!!!!!!

i may just redeem him in his side story (which im on the fence about making a blog for since so many of you said "yeah make one!!" but also showed you had no interest in engaging with it which to me defeats the purpose of you guys saying i should make it, if you want it to happen then you'd want to see it that's my logic)

[safetycar-restart]

hi!!! ive sent all the Logan asks but i have more thoughts to add after thinking some more. so logan and oscar have known each other their like entire youth racing career and i had this idea in my head that logan and oscar sub together sometimes. you also said in one of ur posts that logan has been with his dom the longest so on that note what do you think their routine is, bc we’ve established that charles is a subby little thing and Pierre is more of a “let me do my own thing”, so what do you think logan is cuz i kind of see him being like attached but in like a possessive way yk? anyways have a wonderful rest of your day/night. Xx

*deep breath* LOGAN AND OSCAR!!! I’m obsessed. I have so many thoughts.

So yeah even with this, you and Logan have been together for a very long time. Oscar genuinely can't remember a time where you weren't with Logan. Logically he knows he's known Logan since before you two got together, but it doesn't feel like there's ever been a time where you and Logan weren't a couple, where you weren't Logan's dom.

Logan hates going out without you, will spend the whole evening grumbling about how much he misses you and he quite literally threw a drink at a poor dom who dared to ask him to dance one time. So yeah, needless to say you're always with them when they go out because Logan will be straight up insufferable if you aren't.

Oscar never really minded it, because you and Logan have never been overly coupley. Even when Logan is literally sitting on your lap, you still don't make anyone feel left out.

However, I think Oscar sometimes felt bad around you and Logan, not because of anything the two of you did. But more because he had been trying to find something like what you and Logan have for years and he's been unsuccessful?

He's never had a dom for more than a weeks aside from a team dom, and he's never had a team dom that he really connected with. And then he's faced with you and Logan who have been together for so long that you're practically glued together at this point and Oscar wants that so fucking bad.

Oscar never asks to join you and logan in a scene, because he knows the way you two are. He knows it's not unheard of for friends to scene together, especially if one or both of them are lacking a scening partner. In fact many of his friends had offered before.

But he never imagined he would get an offer from you and Logan, because you two are so obviously made for each other that the mere thought of someone else joining you two is ridiculous.

Maybe Logan finds Oscar in subdrop? Oscar cancels on dinner with him and Logan goes to check on him. He finds Oscar curled up on the floor of his apartment, crying his eyes out and wrapped in a blanket, convinced he's the worse sub ever and completely unlovable. Logan helps him, looks after him as best he can.

And right before he leaves, he makes Oscar promise to come to him if he needs to submit and not go to the dom who did this to him. Oscar is confused, because Logan is a sub too. Logan explains that he means him and his dom, that you and Logan will help Oscar.

Oscar is shocked, both at the fact that Logan is offering this and at the fact that Logan seems confident you'll agree to it.

Logan knows you'll agree because he's discussed it with you many times, toying with the idea of offering Oscar a place in scenes with you because he knows Oscar needs stability. If it were anyone else, Logan would never agree to it. The idea of anyone submitting to you makes his skin crawl, except for Oscar. Oscar can do it.

You're convinced Oscar will never agree to it, until one night a few months later when you are out with Logan and some friends, including Oscar. You and Logan are cuddling in the booth, sharing a gin and tonic (as in, drinking from the same glass because you got one and Logan wanted one but didnt want to move) when Logan spots Oscar dancing with a dom. Which is fine, he's a grown man. He can do that.

But then the dom starts kissing Oscar right on the dance floor, kissing him hard, wrapping a hand around his throat. Instantly you and Logan are both on alert, because no dom should do that without discussing it first and Oscar clearly just met this guy.

Oscar comes back to the booth a few minutes later, looking very disheveled and Logan relaxes, thinking that now he's back and safe. Except he only came to grab his phone and keys and tells you both he's going home with a dom he met.

Logan grabs his wrist, standing up from your lap and pulling him closer.

"Come with us," Logan tells him, "don't go with that dom, we both know it's dangerous. We'll help you, please."

To your surprise, Oscar agrees and you end up with two subs that night.

After that, Oscar joining you and Logan happens more and more. He never says much, never explains why he needs this or whether he has a new dom or not.

But there's this unwritten agreement that you and Logan are his most permanent scene partners, even as he bounces from dom to dom outside of that.

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Volumes 7-8: “I like Dazai a normal amount,” she lied - A commentary (*anime spoilers)

-JINKO ATSUSHI AND DAZAI ON THE COVER, HERE WE GO

-THE COLORED PAGE OF DAZAI AND ATSUSHI, I LOVE THEM IT'S BEAUTIFUL

-it kind of amazes me that higuchi had to look at dazai's records to learn who he is. it amazes me that he isn't a local legend turned into ghost story for the newer mafia members

-could it actually be that cruelty "bores him, really"? current dazai isn't cruel. he's many things, but not cruel. could it be that he actually got so desensitized to it, that from cruel he turned to not cruel because it all became boring?

-i need to know, asagiri-sensei, did you sense that dazai would become so popular, did you hope, did you have a hunch. i had the same question on aot's levi, and i had it answered

-that's what i'll be saying if present timeline dazai gets transferred to the port mafia too: "why would mori-san, a paragon of rational logic..."

-DAZAI IS SO PRETTY, I CANNOT. i mean, erhm, yes, plot, interesting, very

-great job at drawing Q scary enough to justify dazai's "!" reaction. great job (i first wrote "dazai's shocked reaction," but "shock" feels too heavy of a word for dazai)

-i can just picture atsushi lamenting for all the clothes and shoes he destroys when he transforms

-okay no, that's decidedly an untainted eyes shocked dazai, when he realizes what "for his safety" meant. also my, what poofy hair for manga dazai <3. erhm, i mean, plot, yes, interesting, very (*i jest, i love the plot)

-but also, dazai's safety? really? what would anyone do to him in this situation? he'd cancel Q's and atsushi's abilities. nonsense, they just wanted him to not do that. great moment for atsushi though

-i mean, even the fact that you'd think of going so far as to "ponder the morality behind your[the agency's] plans" is progress for you, my dearest dazai

-THE BITCH SLAP, I LOVE THAT MOMENT

-"i have no right to whisk you away from your own past" that's such an interesting notion

-"stop feeling sorry for yourself. as long as you do, your life will be an unending nightmare."

-state of dazai's neck bandages: they're always there! always there!

-pff louisa is adorable

-genuinely, i'd like to see just a glimpse on what dazai has on chuuya, on kouyou, on everyone that's so terrified of his capacity to blackmail them/keep them quiet

-okay, but the spread of dazai pointing a gun at ango. iconic. ango's seen dazai for two seconds and he's already exhausted. dazai is tainted-eyed. all is well.

-i mean, ango having wiped your record clean is a Pretty Big Thing, dazai, you have to admit

-the walking whiplash that is dazai

-i think this is a great arc to show what exactly dazai does with information. how he makes educated guesses and plans, how he gets more info, how he reacts and adapts based on what he learns. later on, at least in the anime, after you've taken for granted that yeah okay dazai is a genius and probably has fifty plans hatching in secret, and with all the mind-fuckery going on, it's easy to forget that it's an actual process that he goes through, and it's very nicely laid-out in this comparatively more small-scale conflict

-man, i do love atsushi, he's so. SO! adorable, sweet, pure little flower, pinch-his-cheeks, feed him a cookie, pat his little head, protecc him.

-TAINTED EYES KYOUKA

-why is atsushi "the guide to this book," did we ever learn?

-DAZAI'S WIDE EYE WHEN HE SEES THE MARK ON KUNIKIDA! also, kunikida my man, what did you do to the poor trees, i didn't think you were like that

-i love the translator for translating "hohh?" as "hohh." you could have said "oh?" but you went with "hohh?"

-lucy calls atsushi "a poor lil stray cat," cat-theme, cat.

-lucy is an ada/pm shipper confirmed, and highly relatable

-CHUUUUUYA

-idk man, i think atsushi is a very compelling MC

-me: ffs, akutagawa, stop it with needing dazai's praise so desperately. also me, when dazai tells atsushi "you did really well": omg he praised us :") he said "really well" omg :') dazai omg :")

-dreamy princess dazai on the cover

-i see you fukuzawa, on the same spread with dazai. REMEMBER DAZAI, YOUR BLACK SHEEP SON, FUKUZAWA?! REMEMBER HIM?!

-dazai: "haaaaah... i can't muster the energy for anything..." relatable

-I AM SO IMPRESSED BY THE ALWAYS-THERE NECK BANDAGES EVEN IN THE TINIEST MOMENTS

-EIGHT YEARS AGO, LITTLE WHITTLE 14-YEAR-OLD DAZAI, HE'S SUCH A KIDDIE, LOOK AT HIS BIG EYES

-isn't it funny how it's basically because of atsushi's suggestion that the agency starts communicating with the port mafia and they start cooperating regularly? isn't it funny how our Sweet Summer Child MC did that

-pardon me, i don't like what i'm saying either, but why is mori-san so babydoll when talking to fukuzawa. he's extra smiley and sparkly

-see, see, dazai says it clearly to mori-san, "i don't want to team up with you either." PLEASE take tanizaki-kun!

-"twin dark"? double black is translated as twin dark in the manga? interesting.

-chuuya so fine

-WHAT IS THIS PAGE OF SMOL CHUUYA AND SMOL DAZAI LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AS THEY'RE BEING SEPARATED! WHAT IS THIS TINY Q WITH HIS SLIPPERS

-chuuya so smol :")

-"and there was only one doorknob" (*on dazai and chuuya both reaching out to open the door)

-you say you drank wine to celebrate that dazai left, chuuya, but all i'm hearing is "i got myself drunk 'cause i couldn't deal with it all"

-why does chuuya look so concerned that the curse hit our agency, what

-ah yes, my ship, walking bag of bandages/hat rack

-anime, manga, anywhere i see chuuya call dazai's name in concern, i just melt, i cannot. icannotcope

-chuuya "herding dog," mafia, dogs, my point.

-"and i hope your hat seizes your consciousness and kills you"??? that's creative.

-i almost said "chuuya is such a sweetheart," ffs. HE IS NOT, but you know what i mean. running to dazai, telling him he can't die in a place like this...

-is that a bare elbow i see? IS THAT A BARE ELBOW BEYOND THE CAST, NO BANDAGES?! dazai you minx

-CHUUYA'S SO SHORT COMPARED TO DAZAI, I CANNOT <3

-"TWIN DARK SIDEKICK"?! that's a low blow, dazai

-dazai's so starry-eyed at corruption

-is chuuya conscious through corruption? does he remember what he's supposed to do, does he remember what he's done after?

-DAZAI LEFT CHUUYA BEHIND AND WENT HOME?! JESUS CHRIST, DAZAI!!! ffs.

-is there anything more terrifying than having dazai bring you flowers and a fruit basket. you know nothing's good coming out of it

-so what we are saying is a) dazai and his tainted eyes either predicted the guild would attack ango or arranged the mystery vehicle attack for blackmail reasons, most likely the latter, which, fine, and b) that dazai fiddled with the airbag of the exact vehicle ango would take? what if he'd taken another vehicle? dazai, let's talk.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ERASED YOUR ENTRANCE EXAM FROM YOUR MEMORY, TANIZAKI, EXPLAIN! WHAT HAPPENED, HOW BAD WAS IT!

-"WIMPIEST IN THE WEST/WIMPIEST IN THE EAST" AHAHAHA

-"stagger," "cough," coughing blood, bring our boy aku-kun to yosano-san ffs (CAN she heal him? how much can she heal?)

-even though dazai and ranpo are both geniuses and both reach similar conclusions, their individual brand of genius just FEELS different. dazai's a strategist and a coordinator, ranpo is a puzzle-solver. it just tastes different, even though the result is the same-ish

-there's something so sweetly non-MC-heroic about atsushi telling dazai they should cancel the plan and find shelter when he learns the moby dick will drop on top of the agency. you think it's gonna destroy just the agency? the general populace doesn't even cross his mind on that instant, and it's so naively sweet

-atsushi's so strong, mentally. he struggles so much and he is so strong, fighting against himself, against his upbringing, and coming up on top. i'm sure he has no idea, but there is such strength in his choices and his actions

-okay, but hear me out. i want tanizaki to be the one to go to pm, no question about that, BUT. wouldn't it be interesting if atsushi was the one to go, and there was a repeat history of the new double black, only this time it would be atsushi dragging aku-kun towards the light kicking and screaming rather than two darklings enabling each other? an interesting thought. anyway, yes, please take tanizaki.

[moa-broke-me]

(@yonemurishiroku wanted a part 2 so I'm gonna keep going!)

Leo was discharged only a few hours later, with a black right eye, cracked ribs, scraped skin and bruises all over his body, especially this big gnarly one on his back, along with a re-fractured left leg. His limp would be even worse now.

He had Jason make all the phone calls to cancel the wedding, hating that they hired and paid so many people only to have their hard work go to waste at the last second. He kinda hoped that the baker would send him the cake anyway, or at least give it to a homeless shelter or something, instead of just dumping it in the trash. He hated wasting food, he always had. That was one of the things they used to fight about.

They had him doped up to the gills when he was wheeled out of the emergency room, so it was a bit of a blur, but he remembered Nico's face turn from confusion to shock and horror, then to murderous rage, and finally to sympathy as he looked over at him. He remembered being laid down across the backseat, his head laying on Nico's thighs, and wishing he'd brought a pillow because they weren't as soft and cushioned as Jason's.

Yeah, he was muscular, visibly so in his arms and upper chest. But over the years, his body became softer. Some may see that as a failure, but Jason was pushing himself too hard, trying to be the golden boy, trying to look perfect, be perfect. It was only when he got together with Nico, from what Leo knew, that he realized it wasn't healthy. That it was a disorder.

Because Nico had struggled with that too. Not the same way, his was more the 'vomit after every meal' kind than the 'work out until you pass out' kind.

He remembered getting picked up by Jason and carried into the house, laid on a bed and tucked in. He was out like a light, and fell into the first dreamless sleep he'd had in... Forever.

When he woke up, he was greeted by two friendly faces and a sharp pain in his side. "Ow... Hi."

"Hey there, bolide." Nico cooed, almost like he was a kid. Strangely enough, though, he didn't mind. "Sounds like you need your medicine." He reached for it, but Jason stopped him.

"He needs to eat first. The instructions on the bottle say not to take it on an empty stomach."

Leo groaned. He knew he needed to eat, and he was hungry. But he didn't want anyone watching him while he ate. Of course, he knew neither one of them were anything like... Like her. But it still made his empty stomach sour with anxiety.

Part of him liked when it did that, because as long as he was genuinely nauseated with discomfort, it took his mind off of the churning, hungry acid burning a hole in his abdomen from the inside out, metastasizing like a cancer, seeping the strength from his body. Mealtimes were the worst part, having a full plate of food in front of him and only being able to get a bite or two before his fiancee became disgusted by him, so he has to stop just as he was starting to give his body hope. But he was glad for them, if it wasn't for that, he would've passed out a few times. He always felt like he was about to, anyway.

Only at night was he allowed relief, and even then, it wasn't every day, he didn't wanna risk her finding out, so he limited himself to once every few nights. Fullness was never the norm for him as a kid, what with the 'being homeless half the time and stuck in an abusive foster family the other half' thing, even before his mama died, they were poor, and she did her best to spare him from hunger, but sometimes... It wasn't enough.

Fullness had become expected as he got more stable in life. But now, it had become a treat that was reserved only for when he was being especially good.

He was sucked back into the present with the shake of a pill bottle being set down for him. "You go and make him some breakfast, ok?" He told Nico, who nodded and went off to the kitchen. "Hey, I'm gonna help you sit up, ok?" He nodded and braced himself for his touch.

He had to brace himself for any touch at all now.

"I should've known something was off when she wouldn't let us in the house." Jason muttered, slinking his arm under his back, carefully avoiding his bruise. "I should've known when you stopped calling us. I should've known when you stopped talking as much when we called you, I mean... You never shut up." Jason sat next to him on the bed. "Can... Can I hug you?" Leo just nodded again, and let his strong, gentle arms wrap around him, his cheek resting on the top of Leo's head, his hand lightly thumbing over the non-broken ribs, grotesquely protruding harshly enough to see through his shirt. "Oh, cub..." He could feel Jason's voice vibrate in his chest, a deep, husky rumble.

He looked up at Jason. "Cub?"

He smirked. "Yeah, like a lion cub. Because your name is Leo."

Leo rolled his eyes. "Ok, ok."

Nico opened the door with a plate of eggs and pancakes in one hand, a glass of milk in the other. "Hey, caminetto." He sat on Leo's opposite side and set everything down on a side table. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now." I took the plate in one hand, the fork in the other, and... "I'm sorry, can you two um... L-leave the room for a minute?"

A look of concern washed over their faces, and honestly, he understood why. They both probably asked for the same thing so they could get away with starving themselves.

After a minute, though, they both seemed to silently agree not to fight him. They just left the room, and as soon as they did, he started eating. They gave him so much that he couldn't eat more than half of it, he could feel his stomach stretch inside of him. he drank all his milk, though, and took the pill he was supposed to take. After a while, Jason knocked. "Are you finished?"

"Yeah..." Leo sighed, finally satisfied, and laid a hand on his stomach. Jason and Nico came back in.

"Why didn't you finish your breakfast, cub?"

"Couldn't fit..." He yawned. "... Took pill. Back to sleep..."

Nico looked over to Jason, worried. "I tried not to give him more than he could handle..." He muttered. Leo heard, but pretended he didn't.

Jason shrugged. "Maybe his stomach shrunk more than we thought."

Nico turned to him. "Ok, if you need to go to the bathroom or something, just tell one of us, we'll carry you."

Leo laughed a little, before realizing they were serious. "... Oh. Because of the leg?" He asked. "Didn't they send me home with crutches?"

Nico sighed. "Yes. But we're worried that you won't have the strength to use them for a while. The doctor said that you're terribly frail and lethargic, and should be in bed as much as physically possible. You wanna get better fast, don't you?"

Leo nodded. "... Maybe once I get better, I can go back to her place and try to win her over."

Nico's face went paler, which Leo didn't think was possible until now.

"Absolutely not." Jason scolded, sitting on one side of the bed.

Nico sat on his other side. "... Why would you want to anyway? Why would you want her back?"

Leo shrugged. "... I... I love her."

"... I know. Really, I do. I mean, I loved my stepmom, and she's the whole reason I struggle with the things I do. But I can't let you go back there."

He leaned on Jason's shoulder. "But-"

"No. I'm never letting you go in that house ever again."

"But... What about my stuff? It's all still in in our..." A lump caught in his throat. It wasn't their house anymore. It never really was. "... In her house."

Nico sighed. "We'll get it for you, ok?" He put a hand on Leo's back, which made him freak out. One minute, he was fine, the next, he's curled up and cowering in fear, about to cry. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry! I'm so so so sorry, are you alright? God, fuck, how could I... Are you gonna be alright?" He couldn't get the words out from between the hiccuping sobs. "... Hey, hey, it's ok. Do you want a weighted blanket or something? It's... It feels like getting a hug without having to be touched. Would that help?"

Shakily, Leo nodded. "Th-that sounds nice, that sounds really nice..."

"Ok." His voice was so gentle and soothing, again, almost like he's talking to a hurt child. But again, Leo didn't mind. "Jason, you go get the weighted blanket, ok?"

The next thing Leo knew, a comforting weight was draped around his shoulders, and he almost instantly melted into it. It wasn't long before he laid down and closed his eyes, in that blissful half-asleep half-awake state where he felt the bodies of Nico and Jason gently smush him on either side, and heard their voices cooing over him, but didn't register the words, or care.

All he knew is that he felt safe.

The first time she hit him, he was shocked.

Not because he hadn't been hit before. But because all those people that hit him were cold and cruel and drunk. And she was nothing like that. She was completely sober, and she was normally so warm, so loving and kind and sweet. Even she looked surprised, glancing down at her hand and back up at his face like she was having trouble connecting the dots.

He was, too. One moment, she was screaming in his face, and the next, she was standing there in silence, and his cheek stung. He could even feel a small cut from the gem in her engagement ring.

It was a long time before either of them spoke, but eventually, she broke the silence.

"... Don't look at me like that. You know I didn't mean it, right?" She asked, her voice straining to be even and calm, but wavering with barely-disguised desperation. "I'd never hurt you on purpose, I just get so wound up sometimes and... I act without thinking. I'm so sorry, baby."

Leo nodded. "I-I know. It's ok." He cringed at his stutter, making him look weak, making him look like a kicked puppy. Which, in all honesty, is exactly how he felt. "Well, if you're so sorry, can you, um... P-patch me up, at least?"

Her expression soured. "You know how to do it yourself, don't you?" She asked. "The bandages are in the medicine cabinet."

He nodded and smiled, walking off to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He decided not to dress the wound right away, and instead to take a shower.

So she wouldn't hear him crying.

She used to make him feel happy, make him feel... Safe.

From there, it only got worse. Now, every nickname, every touch, was nerve-racking. When she hugged him, it felt like a snake coiling itself around him, sizing him up to see if she could swallow him whole.

The anxiety got so bad, he could barely even eat. She judged him when he did, anyway. The only times he didn't feel ashamed was when he snuck to the fridge in the dead of night and frantically stuffed his face. Even then, there was the looming threat of her wandering down for the bathroom or water and seeing him pig out.

It was like one moment, she was the perfect, loving girl that he proposed to, that he would die for, and the next... She was unrecognizable. And all he could do was sit there and take it, and wait for her tantrum to be over so she could apologize and say she didn't mean it, and the cycle would start again.

If he ran, she would just throw something at him, and he didn't fight back because even when she threatened his life, he still loved her, and still didn't want to see her hurt. After a while, he didn't have the strength to anyway.

He didn't wanna call the cops, because nobody would believe him, and he didn't want to be believed, really. He loved her. He didn't want her to go behind bars, he just wished that she would stop. None of his friends knew, either. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen his friends in a while, at least a month or two. Didn't even call them, and every time they called him, he kept it short and acted like everything was normal.

He didn't work either, she insisted he stay around the house, living off of her dad's inheritance money. He rarely had an excuse to leave the house, which he supposed was a good thing, because his leg ached from one of their more intense fights. He should've gone to the hospital, but she reminded him that they're living on a fixed income.

And he was still gonna marry her. Because he's spent too much of his life alone, and nothing is worse than that.

One night, though, things went too far.

"You never even talk to me anymore, let alone come to me when you're upset! I hear you crying, y'know. But do you ever cry for me? No! You cry for your mommy." She grabbed him by the collar. "Your mommy is dead and has been for years, move the fuck on!"

That was it. He couldn't take it anymore. He'd been beaten and broken and insulted and screamed at and he'd taken it all in stride, but that was just too far. "... Y'know why I never cry for you? That's why."

"Oh, what, because I'm not dead yet?"

"Because you're mean!" The words ripped from his throat before he could think.

She looked more enraged than he'd ever seen her before, and grabbed him by the collar. "I'll show you what mean looks like."

He just realized that they were at the top of the stairs. He was waifishly thin by now, and it took no effort for her to throw him down the stairs.

He woke up in a hospital room, noticing the single flower on the side table. It was from Calypso, he thinks she called it a tiger lily. And despite all the trauma and cynicism, for a moment, he smiles. For a moment, his heart flutters, seeing her name in beautiful cursive script that he can't read. She loves me! He thinks. Somewhere deep inside, she does love me!

She does this every time, makes a big romantic gesture to apologize for hurting him, and the trick never gets old. Because even though, deep down, he knows he's been had, he pushes it aside and indulges in the rush of love he feels anyway. It's the only comfort he can get these days.

The door opened, and in came Jason, sitting next to him. "Hey... Heard you fell down the stairs. I hope you remember who I am."

Leo laughed a little. "Yeah, yeah, I remember."

Jason smiled, and then held up a bag. "Oh, Nico bought you this earlier yesterday." He pulled it out, and it was a red floral silk tie. "It's, um... For your wedding tonight. Well, I guess that'll be postponed now, huh?"

Leo looks down at the tie, and he knows he should be happy, but he feels his throat tie in a knot. "About that... I, uh..." This had been on his mind since that first incident, but he banished the thought before it could form. "... I'm not so sure about the wedding anymore."

"Really? Why?"

Suddenly, he was shaking, and he couldn't form words, and his bottom lip was trembling, and oh god... He was crying.

Jason tried to put a hand on his back, but he flinched, and started to panic, breaking into sobs. "Hey, hey, it's ok... It's ok, Leo, it's just me."

He started to calm down, but he was still so scared. He'd always been so scared.

Jason stared at him for a while. "... I'm gonna kill her."

(does anyone want a part 2?)

[primofate]

2K Followers Event: Pancake and Waffle Cafe Masterlist

Nutella Waffles (overhearing and misunderstanding a conversation/situation) MODERN AU ANGST

Characters: Childe, Kazuha, Thoma, Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli, fem!reader

Warnings: not proofread :D, cheating, fighting, insulting, misunderstanding (duh), pregnancy, sexual innuendos, implying sex, mentions of sex, still SFW though, of course I bent the lore since it’s an AU

Notes: I had trouble with this so I decided to make it a modern AU. That’s also why it took so long. I think my brain is starting to run dry XD I mean, there’s only so much situations/conversations I could think of that could be misunderstood. Still, enjoy!

Childe

"Ah, sorry, Y/N, I can’t walk you home today... Maybe tomorrow?” Childe smiled at you, scratching the back of his head, his school bag swung over his shoulder already. He looked like he was in a hurry. 

It’s been a few days like this and you really didn’t know what was happening. You asked him if he needed help with stuff at home or if he was having a hard time with his homework and if that’s why he was always rushing off. He would just give you the same smile and wave a hand. “It’s nothing like that,” and then off he’d go. 

The next day, as you walk towards his classroom during lunchtime you hear him and his friends talking before you even reach the classroom door. 

“Zoe is totally cute,” Childe says. The voice he uses is something that he’d never used on you before. You freeze in your tracks and try to listen in more. “Wow, she really is! Great job picking her!” one of his friends said and it sounded as if they’d hit Childe on the back as a congratulations. “Let me see, let me see,” another one says followed by a gasp. “Have you taken her out yet?” Childe laughs nervously and you know all too well without even looking at him that he’s probably scratching his head. “No, not yet,” 

“Does your girlfriend know yet?” Someone else asks.

And then you hear a laugh that’s all too mischievous. All too playful. All too heart-wrenching. “She doesn’t know!” and they continue to laugh.

You turn away and try your hardest not to let tears escape from your eyes. It felt as if you were being laughed at. Like everyone knew that he was cheating. Everyone except you. It doesn’t help that there was a Zoe in the other class too. The way his friends laughed made your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and the tears you were so desperately holding back to finally flow through.

You ended up staying in the washroom for the whole of lunch time, staying in a cubicle for an extra few minutes, late for the next class.

Somehow you didn’t expect Childe to still show up in your classroom to pick you up for the day and walk you home. You stare at him at the classroom door, your eyes had already gone back to their normal shade, but still glossy. He doesn’t notice, he has a big smile on his face that mocks you. Ridicules you. 

“Y/N! Let’s go together today!” Does he feel guilty? Is that why he finally agrees to walk home with you? Cause he’s had his fill of Zoe already? You don’t say a word and exit the classroom, going past him. Childe blinks, and turns to watch you walking away from him. “Y/N?”

He walks after you, and takes his place next to you. He touches the strap of your backpack, as usual, and says “I’ll take this--”

“I got it,” you reply curtly and move away from him. He’s dumbfounded, eyes still a little wide at your sudden coldness. Now he’s getting anxious. Did he do something wrong? “H-Hey...Y/N, are you mad because I didn’t walk home with you the past couple days? See, I was just--”

“I’m not that petty!” You nearly growl at him, holding his gaze for a few seconds before walking off again. Your eyes are starting to prickle with more tears. You just wanted to get home. As soon as you can. Away from him. You didn’t have the heart to break up with him face to face. You liked him too much, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it while looking at his handsome face. 

Then, he snatches your wrist and pulls you back towards him. The school hallways are emptying out, there’s a few students walking by who ignore the two of you. “Then what’s the matter? I don’t like it when we fight. At least tell me what I did!” 

You wrench your wrist away from his and start sniffing. He stands there, shocked at where your tears are coming from. Until you start talking. “I heard you, during lunch time,” his eyebrows furrow. “Lunch...time?” He mumbles, not following. “When you were talking about your cute Zoe!” He doesn’t say anything for a moment and that only confirms your fears. 

He’d been looking at other girls, and probably wanting them.

“...Y/N, Zoe is...” Childe scratched his cheek, averting his eyes away. 

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you try to turn away, but he doesn’t let you and holds your shoulders with his hands, staring straight at you. “My dog,” You were crying at this point, and when you hear his next words your eyes narrow. “W-What?”

“Zoe is my new dog,” 

“B-But your friend asked if you took her out yet...”

“Yeah,” Childe tilted his head, “for a walk?” As you start to connect the dots he takes out his phone and shows you the picture of a cute miniature poodle, it had a collar and a silver tag on it that said “Zoe”. You thought that you might cry again at how cute she was but you just glare up at Childe. “Well, I didn’t tell you cause I was gunna surprise you. I’ve been going home early these days cause we had to go visit the pound a few times and finalize the papers and everything...” 

“I-Is that true? Is that all it is?” You sniff, now wiping your stupid tears away. Childe smiles down at you and takes your hands away from your face, replacing it with his, thumbing away the streaks of wetness. “Y/N, no one can ever replace you,” you sniff and let him dote on you. You’d been missing him for a while anyway. 

“...Well except Zoe, maybe Zoe can,” he’s clearly teasing you and you don’t hesitate to lift your fist and punch him on the shoulder, earning a small “Ow,” from him followed by a laugh. “I’m just kidding, how ‘bout you come over and visit her today? It’s only her second day home!”

Thoma

You’d made an appointment with your friend a long time ago. Just a quick lunch and catch up date. Thoma had graciously volunteered to drive you to the mall where you were meeting up with her.

“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up? It’s Saturday. I’m free,” he flashes you a smile, his eyes darting towards you only for a second before going back to the road. “I’ll be fine hun, I’ll take the bus home,” you reply to him.

Halfway through your journey he says that he needs to buy something from a convenience store, and so he parks the car properly and grabs his wallet. His phone is on the car phone stand and you pay no heed to it until a soft ‘ding’ makes you pick your head up to look at the screen. 

Your best friend’s name pops up, she’s messaged him and your blood runs cold.

“I’ll come over when Y/N’s gone,” the message read. Your heart is already at your throat, and you don’t know what to think. What is this make-believe situation that you’re suddenly in. Is this really happening? Your eyes dart upwards to look at the door of the convenience store. You could see Thoma was still looking at the shelves.

You gulp and you wonder what the right thing to do is. Invade his privacy and peek at his messages? Let it go? Confront him? Cry? Another ‘ding’ fills up the car.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So...” you couldn’t read the rest of the message, it being cut off but you were already spiraling down the hole of despair. How could he? Your sweet and loyal Thoma ended up going behind your back with your best friend. You thought you were going to be sick, you actually had to roll the windows of the car down to get some fresh air, just as Thoma came out of the convenience store door with a plastic bag. 

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t even be in the same space as him. You were going to cancel today with your friend, you didn’t think you’d be able to function properly. When he sat on the driver’s seat and saw you looking out the window, he didn’t think much of it and revved the engine up. “Ready hu--”

“Take me to my sister’s place,” Thoma blinked and turned to you, confused. “But, what about your lunch date today, dear?”

“I don’t feel like going. My sister’s place is nearby, just drop me off there,” Your hands were already typing a reply to the friend that you were about to stand up on, but you couldn’t even think of what to do or say. 

“Dear is everything okay?” He asked while backing the car up, arm outstretched to your side while he’s looking at the rear. He was appalled by your sudden mood change. You didn’t answer but he hears you sniff and he immediately stops the car again. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He’s alarmed that you’re crying and he reaches to cup your chin and tilt it towards him but you move your face away from him. 

“Y/N?” he asked, the confusion in his voice is actually genuine and you can hear a bit of panic in it. “How long have you been seeing Aya?” you spit the words as if they’re poison and the car is quiet. You laugh bitterly. “I thought so, cat got your tongue, huh?” 

Thoma shook himself out of his confusion to say, “No, wait, I don’t know what you mean,” You scoff at him. You’re shocked at the amount of resentment you had, you trusted this man and yet this is what happens. “Yeah? Why is she sneaking into our house then?” You point at his phone, the screen is still lit up because of the messages and there were more coming in from your best friend. 

Thoma snatches the phone away from the stand and looks at it. Then, he deflates and slumps back on his seat. “Y/N, it’s not what you think,” You hate that line so much. You cross your arms and say, “Just drop me at my sister’s house,” 

“Y/N--”

“NOW!”

The drive was quiet. You didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push you but didn’t want to drop you off to your sister’s without explaining as well. So, just before your sister’s block, he parks on the side and unbuckles his seat belt, then opens your side of the door. “Y/N, listen to me,” he’s rarely this assertive, but you still don’t listen. He’s blocking your escape path. 

“It’s your birthday today,” Thoma starts and you blink, completely forgetting about it. “Ayu is sneaking in our house while you’re gone because we were going to set up a surprise for you.” He says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Your eyes widen, and you relax in your seat. He gives you his phone and urges you, “Go on, Y/N, you know my passcode right? I don’t hide anything from you, you can read the rest,” 

You hesitate, but accept his offer and type it in. 

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So we can set up the balloons,”

“I got the cake don’t forget the candles and lighter,”

Thoma picks up his other hand that had the white plastic bag from the convenience store, he picks up the two items from inside. Birthday candles. And a lighter. 

Your mouth opens, but you can’t say anything and you only bury your face in your hands out of shame. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Thoma, I--” He manages to let out a laugh and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so stupid. I trust you, I really do, I just--” now you’re not sure if you’re crying out of relief or embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” You can’t say anything else and he only kisses you on the forehead again.

“It’s alright, you can make it up to me by going on that lunch date, okay? You deserve the rest. You haven’t cancelled yet have you? Let’s freshen up at your sister’s place and I’ll send you to the mall,” 

You nod your head, small smile on your face. This was gunna be one story to tell in the future.

“Oh and it would help if you act surprised when you come home,” Thoma adds with a full laugh that you join in on. 

Kaeya

"So how are you and Y/N?”

It’d only been a couple of months of the two of you dating. Kaeya was handsome, gallant and he knew exactly what to say to people. It wasn’t a secret that he was quite popular in school. 

Little old you was just another girl in just another class.

“Good, I think,” Kaeya responds, you smile around the corner, hidden from sight, knowing that he was taking a juice box break with his friends. “It’s a little annoying though,” your smile drops and your head tilts sideways in question. “I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” 

Keep me away? You think. Am I too clingy? You hear them exchange words a bit more, but none of the other words process in your head. Their laughter spurs you out of your thoughts and you return to your classroom dumbfounded. 

When the bell rang for dismissal you immediately packed and walked home by yourself. Kaeya was confused when he arrived at your classroom door, and found that you weren’t there anymore. “...Hey, did Y/N go home?” he asked one of your passing classmates. “Yeah, she went out pretty fast,”

Now he was worried. Did something happen at home? He takes his phone out as he’s out the school building, tapping your name and calling, only for the call to not even connect. His brows furrow but nonetheless, he goes home for today and types in a message for you.

“Hey, you okay? Talk to me if you need something,” 

The next day, when he usually waits outside your door for you to come out, he realizes that you’re a little late and further realizes that you weren’t going to come out. He wasn’t about to knock on your door, your parents didn’t know about him yet. 

He tries to call you again but he’s met with the same result as yesterday. He sighs and looks up at the sky while he’s walking. He hasn’t seen you for nearly a full day now, and he doesn’t realize how long a full day is until now. He just wants to see your smiling face again and he starts to wonder if he’d done something wrong. 

By lunchtime, he’s sprinting towards your classroom as soon as the bell rings, wondering if you were there. Indeed, finally, he spots you in your classroom and his shoulders slump in relief only to tense up again when he sees a guy in your class talking to you, and you, smiling happily. 

“Y/N,” he calls out to you, waving his hand. You look away from your conversation to him and he notices how your smile turns into a tight line on your face. His own smile drops, but you walk out of the classroom anyway and address him. “Yes?” He blinks down at your tone of voice. “U-Uh... Wanna have lunch together?” 

“...But it’s annoying that I’m clingy right?” The two of you unconsciously move away from the door to out in the hallway, so that you’re not blocking the way of people coming in and out. He narrows his eyes in confusion. Where is this coming from? “I--No, what do you mean? I never said that,” 

“Yesterday, you said you can’t keep me away and it’s annoying,” you averted your gaze, feeling your eyes start to water. Kaeya reels back a little, replaying things in his mind, trying to remember if he said something like that. And, with a light bulb moment, his face breaks into a grin and slight laughter. You glare up at him, “What? It’s funny?”

Kaeya places a hand on your shoulder and explains while smiling. “Y/N, you didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation, did you?”

---What really happened---

“It’s really annoying though. I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” he sips on his juice box again.

One of his friends pipe up, “Dude that’s a little harsh,”

Kaeya blinks. Once, twice and thrice. Until it dawns on him. “Oh, no, I meant that I can’t keep her away from other people,” he grins and leans both his elbows on the windowsill. “She doesn’t realize that she’s super friendly, and other people like talking to her a lot. Whenever I go to her classroom she’s always talking to different people.”

His friends make a sound of understanding. “I wish I could just keep her to myself,” and continues sipping on his juice.

“That’s really cheesy, even for you, Kaeya,” one of his friends say and the lot of them starts laughing.

---That’s what really happened---

It was your turn to blink at him, confused. “S-So...”

Kaeya pats your head and smiles. “You can ask my friends if it makes you feel better,”

A small blush crosses your cheeks and you duck your head to hide it. It earns yet another chuckle from him. Your moment is interrupted by another guy who approaches the two of you. “Hey, Y/N, if you’re free, do you think you could help me out with this? I don’t really understand it,” 

Kaeya just looks at the guy and sighs, then turns to you again. “See what I mean?” to which you just goofily smile at. 

Kazuha 

“You saw what?”

Your hands freeze, holding the book you were reading open. The living room had gotten lively again, seeing as your little brother had come home from school. “I saw Kazuha with a girl,” 

You try to keep your face composed. It was a school day. You’d stayed home because you weren’t feeling too well. Your brother was saying it without a care in the world. He was just a grade schooler and telling you about the things he observed. He was looking through the fridge for something to drink. 

You didn’t ask more, but you were DYING to know more. Kazuha didn’t mention going anywhere today... You picked your phone up and wondered if you should ask him. Your phone had blown up this morning cause he didn’t see you at school and he was wondering if you were alright. 

But it seems that Kazuha himself was having a grand time too.

“So...T-The girl...Did they look close?”

Your little brother closes the fridge and looks at you while drinking from a milk carton. “Mm...They were holding each other...” You bit your lip as tingles run down your spine. They weren’t the good kind. It was the kind that you get when you watch horror movies and or a drama movie and a revelation had just happened. You were silent for a moment, but in your mind you were already thinking of how Kazuha looked with another girl. Holding each other? What did your brother mean? Like...hugging? Or...? But you couldn’t ask him about that, could you?!

You sighed out loud and slammed the book you were reading down on the table, just as your phone started ringing. “Kazuha,” you whispered under your breath and looked at your phone screen. Well...you believed in him, and you thought the best way to clear this up is to talk to him about it.

So, you grabbed your phone and retreated into your bedroom to talk to him. You picked up the call, “Kazu-kun?”

“Y/N,” he greeted. Even apart, his voice has this effect on you. Like he was really there and breathing into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You were sure that you were blushing. “How are you? Are you feeling better?” His voice is smooth and calm and you melt into your bed. “Yeah, a little,”

“Could I come over later? I just want to check on you,” You smile into your phone and close your eyes. Kazuha could never do that to you, you think to yourself. But still, you really wanted to ask. “Of course, I don’t think my parents would mind...Hey,” you start, your fingers nervously drawing circles on your pillow. “My brother said he saw you...with a girl,”

There’s silence on the other line, and you can hear him shifting a little. “A...girl?” He repeats the question and you bite your lip. He sounds unsure and now you were unsure too. “Yeah, he said that you were holding on to each other...or something,” Again some silence, until he makes a sound of understanding.

“Ah, he must mean Sango,” there’s a little lilt to his voice, like he was happy and you were a little jealous. “Sango’s my cousin, she came to surprise me for my birthday week.” Kazuha laughs nervously and adds a little hesitantly. “She...uhm...would like to meet you actually, is it okay if I bring her over today?” 

Your heart sighs in relief, as do you and you don’t realize that you’ve done that out loud. In the next moment though, you smile and nod, even though he can’t see you. “Of course! Bring her over!” 

Albedo (More fluff than angst)

Cleaning at home was one of the things you did to get your mind off of things. Some people would call it tedious, but to you, it was sort of relaxing. It was something easy to do, you didn’t need much of your brain, just motor memory. Folding. Laundry. Ironing. Sweeping. Basic chores.

But when you clean up in the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, and found a neatly wrapped present, red wrapping paper and blue ribbon tied on the top with a tag that said “To: Leila” you’re a little dumbfounded.

Who’s Leila? Is your first thought. Your second thought is, what’s inside? You hold the nicely wrapped box in your hand and turn it all over, trying to get some type of hint. A flash of doubt seeps into your mind but you shake it away. Albedo isn’t like that...Is he? He’s always so dedicated to his scientific research and sure he comes home late sometimes but he always makes it up to you on the weekends...

So who’s Leila? You ask yourself again. And why hasn’t he mentioned it to you? Why didn’t he ask YOU to wrap it? Menial tasks like these were usually passed on to you. You bite your thumb just thinking about it, but in the end just leave the present where you find it.

Later that night as you’re fixing dinner, you aren’t as bothered by the gift as when you first saw it. But it’s still there at the back of your mind and it resurfaces to the front when you hear the familiar keys rattle. Despite that, as he snakes his arms around your waist from behind you can’t help but smile and melt a little, pressing back against him as he leans over to kiss your cheek. “...Smells nice,” he simply mumbles and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of both you and your home.

“Welcome back,” you say, while closing the lid on the pot and turning around to give him a proper kiss on the lips. He hums into the kiss as a response and pulls you away from the stove. “How’s your day?” he asks you first and you smile, because your day is nearly the same time and time again. “Fine, I did find a little secret though...” you start and peek up at his beautiful eyes. 

He nods to ask you to continue. “A present, nicely wrapped. and it’s addressed to someone called Leila,” He looks down at you and you stare at him. A moment passes by before he takes his arms back and go into his thinking pose. “...Leila...?” he asks, eyes averting from your gaze. You wonder if he’s pretending. You wonder if he’s trying to make an excuse up. “...I don’t--” and then his eyebrows twitch. “Ah,” he says and drops his arms to his side.

“We were invited to a birthday party, remember? By a co-worker,” he tucks in strands of your hair as he talks. “It’s her daughter’s first birthday...I don’t care much for such things but you insisted it’d be alright to go.” he chuckles a little. “Her daughter’s name is Leila,” 

You make a sound of understanding. Suddenly your hesitant thoughts wither away. “Hmmm? You could’ve asked me to wrap the present,” Albedo pulls away from you and towards the fridge, wanting a glass of water. “The wrapping wasn’t done by me, it was the shop, free service,” and so it made more sense.

And although you want to ask more questions, like where he got it, when and what’s inside, you realize it’s such a trivial thing. It was not worth that much time. A gift is a gift, and you turn back to continue making dinner while making idle conversation with him. 

Zhongli (Warning: Suggestive) (but this is also my personal favourite... aha...)

“Zhongli?” You arrive home a little early today, dropping your keys at the front shelf. You don’t hear him anywhere and you shuffle around your living room for a while, looking at the letters for today. 

He was on a work from home arrangement today, and he would usually be in his office. You were quite sure that he would’ve come out to greet you though, if he heard you. He must be busy at the moment. 

You’d wanted to wash your hands as soon as you came home, and went for the guest washroom. When you open the door, your eyes land on something on the counter, next to the sink. This bathroom was always kept clean for visitors. You liked to host people once in a while, or just invite friends and you took pride in having them comfortable in your house.

Your eyes narrow as you go closer and your hands pick up a pregnancy test that was lying there. 

It was positive.

You put it back down and shudder a little. You don’t remember getting a pregnancy test. You bite your lip and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re already jumping to conclusions, and you can’t help it. Who the hell would leave a pregnancy test in YOUR guest bathroom? Zhongli didn’t mention anything...

You sigh a breath out and close the bathroom door behind you, taking your phone out to text your best friend.

“There’s a positive pregnancy test in our guest bathroom,”

After a moment, there’s a reply.

“OMG Are you preggers?!”

“No, it’s not mine,”

The next reply takes a moment more. “Oh, maybe ask him?” and you know that your friend hadn’t known what to reply at that moment. Because a random positive pregnancy test in your guest bathroom was NOT a good sign. To top it off, you didn’t announce to Zhongli that you were coming home early today.

Your perk up when you hear noise from the other room. You open the bathroom door slightly, and hear the unmistakable low voice of your fiance, coupled with...the voice of another woman. You close the bathroom door again, not bothering to lock it, and sit on the closed toilet seat. You’re sitting there with nothing in your mind, unable to think.

A few minutes later the voices are louder, they’ve moved to the living room, right outside the bathroom you were in. You tense up, and your jaw tightens. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to hear them. For a moment you wish that you didn’t come home early, and just pretend this didn’t happen, but the door to the bathroom door opens, leaving you eye to eye with a woman you recognize.

Luna was a beautiful woman. Long cascading brown hair, they’re wavy and stops right at her waist. Doll-like blue eyes and a slender body. She sees you sitting there and you feel stupid, but she just breaks into a grin. “Y/N!” she grabs you by the wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom before you could even say anything. You’re numb, so you don’t respond to anything around you.

Zhongli turns around wide-eyed to see you standing there meekly, not meeting his gaze. He still goes to you though and asks curiously. “When did you come in? I didn’t hear you,” he places a hand on your arm while Luna releases you, but you still don’t look up and he wonders if something happened at your workplace to make you come home so early. “Luna and Childe stopped by,” Zhongli says, in at attempt to cheer you up. You look up, and only then did you realize that Childe was there too, talking animatedly to Luna. You tilt your head sideways, “They came with a surprise. Ah, but it’s not mine to tell,” 

That’s right... Luna and Childe had been together for a while and then it hits you when Luna shows you the same positive pregnancy test you saw on the counter, and announces that she’s pregnant. Your eyes are wide. You can’t tell if you’re more relieved that it wasn’t what you thought or more happy for your friends. You feel horrible about it but you manage to crack a smile and went along with the festivities. The more time passed the more you were able to enjoy their happiness and by the time they left, that was the only time you sighed and let your shoulders slump, exhausted.

“Is something the matter?” Zhongli asked. He noticed how your smiles were a tad bit forced. How you seemed to enjoy everything but also seemed to be on edge. You turn to him and shook your head. “It’s...stupid. It’s my mistake,” but he holds on to your waist and urges you to tell him.

And you tell him. How you came home and saw what you saw in the guest bathroom, what you thought it was and how you felt. The only thing you can feel now is embarrassment and shame. You couldn’t even feel happy for your friend. Zhongli only smiles and combs his hand through your hair. “It’s the normal reaction,” he reassures you, again trying to make you feel better. You only respond with your own hug but his next sentence makes you flustered, all thoughts of earlier gone as he whispers into your ear.

“Would you like your own positive pregnancy test?”

Taglist: @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @kimbapsana @leefletter @hentaje @tempehlust @rinnesy @hallohun @softlybeloved @volleybloop @ssalamanderr @ben6ett @rytszk @guilixi @reiluvbot @mondstadts-favourite-traveler @xxcrowfeatherxx @b-trld @mkazuyuh @shittyeditsofwhatiwant @ayra2452008 @simpingover @soft-like-sunshine @lnrchii @scheophi @multifandomgeeks @sacredmouche @risasblog01 @mai-m4i @foxxtrot-116 @maple-leaaf @lucy-roo @bluepinkpink @myday6-studies @thraiaiscrying @missbuwan @the-one-that-lurks @adeptitao @xibrokensunriseix @ilovemyleftboob @marblesphere @allinduetimethefirst @nortdreww @jjsjjsjsjsjjsjjs @how-simpy @loltartaglia @minyoustar @sesetiger @Ghost1y-demon @lqvl3y @cysperia @candyqueen10 @ichigo-no-tsumi @omoriq @saving-for-xiao @trashykawasmilkbread @jjkclub @pearstears @seiiblue @midnightangelfox @korinkuu @heesocks @bobaducky @normalisthenewnorm @atasi-luna @callariri @milkypompon @fadinganchornight @coldstonecrematorium @probablybethere @qingxinteaa @hanachan_2481 @plumpkie @Ghost1yd3mon @idk-imjusthere @amigenshin @spirlimpo @hadesaedes @tsim-tsim @dilucragnvindrsgf @gahisb @yunaholics @that-one-air-collecter @allinduetime @albe4ove @berryqueue @give-xiao-almond-tofu @leafcaller @ninqat @mintyayu @luvmedaily @kiyokoshii @jendytub @thegayrubberducky @chuewi @bitandbytes @alatusorrow @midnightistyping @duskdawn052 @ventislatte @fishclaymore @jahnvi-d @justpeaxchy @tremmblingbling

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[athyathye]

Attention Struggles

Author's note 📝: From this request♡ I do not have Adhd, I did research and I hope I didn't add anything even slightly offensive. But I also assume the requester has and had her read it first before posting~

Warnings ⚠️: Nothing much but fluff!

(Shinichiro and Chifuyu)

Shinichiro

❥ Personally, I think one of the reasons why Shinichiro couldn’t get a significant other was because he didn’t know how to treat women aside from the awful advice he got from his own respected seniors...who was also as helpless as him. Either that or he was just too desperate.

❥ To most people, his constant advancements would be considered annoying. Imagine getting spammed with greetings and whatever sh*t he does like when their gang was going to meet, or him bragging about small accomplishments like finishing a book.

❥ At first glance, it would seem like he was the one with ADHD but no, he was just...talkative? He seems like an extrovert so he just really likes interacting.

❥ And of course, that would include the people he liked. And of course, that included you, his crush, his self proclaimed soulmate. He’s def a snapchat kind of guy.

❥ Shinichiro was as inattentive as you in studying. While you were struggling to concentrate, he was bored. But he knew he shouldn’t bother you. After all, you were the one that cancelled the usual date night you guys had.

❥ Though when he glanced at you, with his head being supported by his hand that was leaning on the table, he could tell you weren’t really studying. Very much like him, you were zoning out. Either staring at the problems in your notebook or staring at your pen that was constantly dotting on the piece of paper.

❥ you had already told him of your situation, he knew how frustrating it can get for you as well. But he never really knew what to do in situations like these. He wanted to be of help, but he felt like he’d become more of a distraction.

❥ But then again, he remembers the times where you came to him looking down after getting your results. Trust me when I say this man felt more hurt than you did after seeing your heartbroken expression.

❥ Remember how I said he didn’t know how to treat women? Yeah, this was one of  the few instances where you fell for him again. He can be quite the man at spontaneous times.

❥ Reaching for your side, his hand travelled to your waist, startling you. But before you could get rid of the shock he was already pulling you to his lap. He moved the papers you were studying so it was in front of you once more. Then he began to talk.

❥ “Alright! Time to study with Shinichiro~ I’ll help you prepare for your exams, surely this’ll make you focus” His smile was so contagious and genuine that it made you smile as happily as well.

❥ Though as soon as Shinichiro saw that smile he looked away and blushed in embarrassment. “S-so what do you need to study?” “....Math. Rational Inequalities…” You murmured quietly, glancing at him expectedly. Though you were met with silence.

❥ “...” “Shinichiro?” “Wanna go bully Takeomi into making cheat codes for you?” Did you honestly think he could help you study? Lmao

Chifuyu :

❥ He actually needed to study with you. Being in the same class and all, which was the reason why he met you.

❥ You were at his house, his mom pushed you in the moment she saw which thoroughly amused you, but greatly embarrassed your boyfriend. Once you were in his room, you couldn’t help but marvel over the stuff he had inside which he found adorable.

❥ “Come sit here with me” He spoke as he patted the pillow right beside him, though the small table only gave you ideas on how to bother him, which made you feel a bit guilty. Well that was before his cat came and rubbed itself against you.

❥ You patted the small cat before going over to Chifuyu who was readying his stuff. He glanced towards you once you sat down and gave you a small smile.

❥ Then, the studying began. A whole 30 minutes passed by before you could even count and now you were stuck on admiring your boyfriend’s focused face. Head on the table, laying on your notebook where you barely wrote 5 sentences, Your hand reached out to his face.

❥ Touching the area in between his eyebrows then tracing it down to the tip of his nose. You had already done this a few times, just earlier you were playing with his hands. Which he could admit, flustered him a little.

❥ He remembered the words you said to him earlier this morning when he came to pick you up. Ranting about how you were getting disappointed in your own scores, asking him to study with you because you thought that would help.

❥ Chifuyu really wanted to help you, it was the least he could do. And he also knew how your mind could get hectic and then empty too fastly for your liking. “Y/n” He motioned for you to come closer.

❥ To which you did, scooting over to him before he made you turn to the table. Easing himself behind you. “Chifuyu?” You were about to turn around when the feeling of a fabric getting draped over your head and into your body caused you to lose focus.

❥ “I thought this might help you...sorry if I startled you” He replied, beginning to regret his decision, that was until you snaked your arms outside of the long sleeves he wore and looked back at him with a big smile.

❥ “I think this can help” You chuckled before you began to write on your own worksheet. Ah, truly, what Chifuyu would give if ever you weren’t in his arms right now.

❥ “I’ll give you a kiss every time you finish a page” “...it seems like you’re more determined than me-”