#so yeah! I have homework still
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as per my conversation with my therapist yesterday i will be spending the weekend playing wizard101 while doing homework and attempting to make bread. this is self care now
#life update: I lived abroad for a year. and now im back#started a phd program#so yeah! I have homework still#BOOOOOO#wizard101
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" no one will know ~~ ♥♥♥ "
- more like me thinking of Trey going ham if Jade is in a pinch
#treyjade#trey clover#jade leech#twst#twisted wonderland#fanart#but yeah trey probably does it in a lowkey way#so no one even realize their base is infiltrated#and once he released jade and told him let's go#jade be like wait let me finish this#and jade went back for a bit to finish everyone#like once i even imagine leech papa scanned trey when jade introduced him to his family#and be like are u gonna protect my son when he is in danger oh u definitely will i entrust my son in ur hands#like trey actually overqualified despite acting so normal ?? hell yeahh great troope 👍👍👍#love him hiding his quality#i still have my homework#getting back on it#please take my pen#jade knowing which dangerous man's hand he should take#ohh yeaaahh
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Oh no he’s fuzzy
#and he’ll cuddle#and rip flesh apart too#art#fanart#my art#original art#Splatoon#Splatoon 3#Splatoon fanart#splatoon art#Splatoon fan art#Splatoon big man#big man Splatoon#big man#big man fanart#splatoon big man fanart#mantaro#apparently I lied. yes I will continue posting because if I’m being honest it’s what I do all the time. not even my homework#and while I am still busy working on commissions even if it doesn’t look like because of how long I take- I still have like#nighttime and some breaks to still draw stuff to post. and yeah I mean I draw quickly when I’ve got good ideas#man I really have to stop procrastinating so bad#Splatoon fuzzy au#Splatoon au#fuzzy au#comfort au#original au#just now I realize I didn’t tag the Frye post with the fuzzy au smh
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06.10.23 happy birthday iwa-chan!! sorry for inflicting paperwork on you for your bday but at least you have oikawa to help (coughdistractcough) you 🥰
#haikyuu!!#iwaoi#iwaizumi hajime#oikawa tooru#haikyuu#hq#mine#my art#wip#lol i wanna color this but at the rate i'm going at it'll be finished in either a week or in 3 years so uh. guess we'll see how it goes :DDD#still can't believe it's already been half a year since i started this...#(absolutely not looking at the wips that have been sitting in my wip folder for years)#i'm not exaggerating literal years.....#but ANYWAYS yeah i specifically am inflicting tax paperwork on them bc its what i was procrastinating on when i started this#but you can imagine it's whatever kind of paperwork or homework or whatever tedious suffering you want :D#love is stored in the “i hate this thing SO MUCH but i hate it slightly less when i'm with you”
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if ur still taking requests…
Jondami pocky stick challenge :D
their noses booped before they could kiss
#drawing requests with ajitomiel#should i be studying for my test on thursday or maybe doing my homework?? um yeah#but couldnt help it i wanted to draw so bad#i still have like 5 requests left but im doing the easier ones first teehee#jondami#damijon#damian wayne#jonathan kent#jon kent#supersons
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If I have energy I want to draw out some designs for an au I'm spontaneously writing.
(Medieval times, there's a Prophecy. Nightmare rules over this kingdom and is supposed to complete this prophecy, he refuses to because it would harm the people. Dream was sent away and banished by Night because he was dis-illusioned into thinking the prophecy was a Good Thing abd what he was raised to complete. Night collected his Knights (Killer, Dust, Horror, and Cross most recently) and trains them and tells them the truth of the prophecy. They're loyal to him. One day the magic of the prophesy (Apple Magic) leaves Nightmare unexpectedly, returning him to the state he was in before he accepted the mantle. This puts a target on his back and gives Dream a huge advantage in maybe making a comeback. The Knight's decide that their King (newly a young lad and variably scared and frightened) must be protected and they run the kingdom as he normally would, while also ensuring he survives and that the prophecy can't be completed.)
#yes this is fueled from RealAge AU vibes#and yes I technically have circled back around to my own initial post but like#the visual of these specific guys who've had various hardships in their lives suddenly like... idk... gaining a purpose and a protector in#Nightmare then seeing him reduced to a fraction of what they'd known him as. and still deciding to follow and care for him?#this au gives off distinct Older Brother energy because Night is like... 13-ish and not young enough to#baby but not old enough to resume his duties immediately#and he's got this like... awkward teen anxiety suddenly flooding through him that he doesn't know how to cope with#so the guys turn around and use lessons Night taught them while they adjusted to help him#Night's weak from Magic-loss? well he used to make sure Dust got bed rest and a meal so that's what we'll do!#Night is losing a huge chunk of his autonomy? They found a hobby for Killer so what does Night like?#just... yeah#plus Dream fully believes his bro pushed him out due to greed for power and had gathered forces to rally with him during exile#so he's the returned golden prince#and I imagine here that the final stand involves the knights scattering to stop Dream's forces while Killer stays with Night (<- most loyal)#and Killer hides Night right before Dream shows#and Dream says a bunch of vitriolic stuff about how Night ran and sacrificed his men and such and cuts down Killer with a near fatal blow#and Night finally manages to get out of wherever Killer stashed him and there's a moment where#Dream is seeing his little brother abd Night is seeing the man who lost his rights to be called brother when he attacked his Knights#and like... idk man#also Error is definitely Night's court magician/wizard because he bends reality in ways it really shouldn't#and here Error is younger because. i. I like the idea of an Errormare subplot but also like. the idea of scary spooky Overlord NM looking at#the wizard who just turned a vase inside out who's like 10 and learning he's a runaway and sponsoring him? yeah that's silly.#turns out Apple Night appreciated Error's raw talent. after the fact Night realizes he admires Error. insane tonal whiplash from his Knights#who have Zero protocol for courtships and kinda like. just watch it happen after the chaos is over#Okay that's all. i need to do my homework
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@bluestbluejay ur decora shuffle unit is so cute!!!!! i just had. to draw aira. askdfjhsdf
original design
#aira shiratori#enstars#ensemble stars#neptunite's doodles#I DID THIS INSTEAD OF HOMEWORK#AND INSTEAD OF THE REQS KSAJDFMNBXCV#ykno when the brainrot gets to you. yeah#that happened to me#but anyway i still have school tmr and then i cant do anything because i have tickets to go see a show!!!! yayyay#so im basically gonna be busy all day tmr skjsdj
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Tumblr spamming billford and billfiddlesford has singlehandedly gotten me to finally watch Gravity Falls and I can't even be mad lol
#this show is actually so good so far!! I just barely passed the middle of season 1 but I'm having way more fun than I'd expected#I'm watching it with friends too and we've got the whole spectrum (not the autistic one) - one of us has already seen the whole show#one of us has watched it out of order#I've only seen plot points and vague spoilers online while the last of us knows NOTHING about gravity falls minus memes#Ford popped up in an episode recently and we had me and the first friend jumping out of our seats and the last being so confused LOL#I can't watch it all the time cause my friends are busy tho 😔#they're actually doing homework and being responsible??? 🤨 (cringe moment /j)#but I have to bully them every once in a while to watch it since I wanna know what makes this show's plot hook so many folks#(billford fanfics are so fun to read in the meantime when I barely know any plot context btw xD)#but yeah that's what I've been doing recently lol#this show's constantly got me dangling on the edge of a hyperfixation and I love it still#gravity falls#fenn rambles
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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I love games that can be downloaded in 5 seconds. Like yesterday I got valorant which I went and watched an episode of Trigun stampede while I waited, but then today I downloaded deltarune planning on letting it download while I went and got something to eat and then it finished before I even stood up
#we love games made efficiently#this is a post i made#I fear I may have been effectively pulled into valorant#but my hesitancy to play multiplayer games still exists so it can’t truly get me haha#and yeah got one person telling me I should play delta rune so I will#I probably shouldn’t today I have homework but it’s there it’s a possibility
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easy books
war and peace was stressing me a little bit because the font they used in the book i bought is like size zero point seven or something ridiculous. and also even though its not as difficult to read as the historical biographies and whatnot that i normally read i was still having to go back and reread entire chapters because i kept getting the characters and events and words all mixed up right
so after i got 60 pages in or something i was saying to myself 'well im like. five percent done with this book now' so i deserved a reward and i was just going to reread JUST ONE wof book for fun (darkstalker legends. also it reminded me of how much i hate darkstalker and how much i absolutely love thoughtful and also indigo ps i also cried. maybe ill yap ab that book later)
but then after i finished that there were still a lot of hours left in the day and really what was i going to do, go back to war and peace after only two hours?? fuck no i needed a vacation you guys come on
so now im rereading arc two over again because its been like three or four years since the last time i did so. currently halfway through winter turning at the moment but you know what i earned this treat ok guys.
i havent sat down and read a silly easy book in so long (lie btw i reread the lost heir a few months ago but that doesnt count). like since last november i have been nonstop reading historical nonfiction grown up complex books so being able to relax and read a little kiddie small words book series like wof again is so oughh im literally cruising rn guys.
maybe ill buy the warrior cats book series because i only read the first arc of that and that was way back when i was in third grade. so like seven years ago jesus christ. easy books they could NEVER make me hate you
#anyways that was my yap session#its just so. refreshing to just be able to breeze through a book and not have to constantly look up things and events and people#dont get me wrong i love reading historical nonfiction books#and also i am thoroughly enjoying war and peace#but still theyre not really EASY books yannow. also in war and peace every characters name sounds the same#why are there two annas UGHH#and then half the time they dont refer to the characters by name like which princess are we talking about here#also i keep mixing up prince vasily and pierre and idk why#also andrey and anatole#i just have to lock in#rereading wof is making me remember exactly WHY i hate darkstalker so much#and also why i love winter#excited to get to the pyrite part bc im almost there!!! i love you pyrite#i think thats enough yapping for now anyways#rave rambles#wof#wings of fire#war and peace#books#oh yeah i have to read the prince by machiavelli for ap euro summer homework is that book any good
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ya girl Steve is not doing all that great in college work life
#tryna convince myself to do an essay rough draft by thinking how it could “”””impress””” a guy in my English class that i can’t tell if i’m#crushing on bc i’ve never been in feasible romantic situations (ie crushing on some1 not a fictional mythical entity) or if there’s just#serious mutual “we should b friends but oh god how do i actually talk to them” tension#either way there’s undoubtedly smthn here I just gotta get past aaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll the social trauma from being ostracized#in middle school & having absolutely 0 consistent real friends in high school; i swear to that axolotl i am on constant Survival Mode at#school & it shows so badly#should’ve (ie an “excuse me” or “thank you”)#and typing this is EXTREMELY counterproductive rn I’ve been here for like 5 minutes#anyway i feel stupid for this because it feels like smthn i should’ve been doing in high school but thank the undiagnosed adhd for#annihilating my “high school experience” in favor of homework I could never complete and still can’t apparently#like for christ’s sake could i at least be doing good at schoolwork & creative projects if i can’t have a social life#or instead have a few friends to make it feel like there’s less pressure on the hw cuz there’s more important things in my life#literally screenshooting this rn to know to talk to my therapist abt it. doubt she’ll b able to help but might as well yeah#i don’t want it to be obvious how much self loathing & pity & general angst i’m holding when i talk to ppl but I’ve never ever been a good#emotions actor & never will tbh.#AND my minecraft house looks ugly. send post
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i live.
#havent been online for awhile and didnt even realize it#uh bad things keep happening and i dont have the strength to do my homework and also be active on tumblr rn#so. might be out for awhile#ill still be lurking and occasionally reblog but. yeah#atlas screams into the abyss
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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god really said this bitch hasn’t suffered enough let’s make him start showing signs of an eating disorder
#😐#how HOWWW HOW did THIS HAPPEN. I AVOIDED DEVELOPING AN ED FOR SO MANY YEARS HOW. WHY NOW#WHY. NOW. I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THISS I DINT HAVE TIME TO BE SO MISERABLE IVE GOT HOMEWORK TO DO!!#specifically math rn.#ill visit that psychiatrist at some point#vent#ed mention#i weighed myself and im still not sure if it was for better or worse#godd i m so nauseous WHY WJY WHY HOW FUCK. ripping my hair out#anyways#math. yeah. gotta lock in👊🏼👊🏼💥💥💥
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i would say to not expect any art from me for the next 3 weeks bc of finals but i know damn well that im gonna procrastinate at some point and draw something when im not supposed to
#im speedrunning this presentation i have to do on thursday that i just started working on today#and i have to make a youtube video for another class#and three essays#and four tests soon#anddd the homework that these mf keep giving us#am i still gonna find time to fuck around and draw ?#yes !#im so good at college guys trustttt#this is fun to me !#like hell yeah academics !#if i could get paid to go to school for the rest of my life i would do it 100%#collecting these degrees like pokmon cards#<<what my friend always tells me bc im on my third degree lmfao#ok bye bye im getting distracted again
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