#so ya if u want more timely posts from me find my twt...

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 157 spoilers and thoughts but also a good amount of panel dissection that might be overanalyzed but i couldn't stop thinking about it so just let me yap okay it plagued me all weekend

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i am so serious when i say this entire episode gave me like. so much worry and anxiety over the characters that i made myself upset thinking about it . the only thing saving me is everyone's fun expressions in this and specifically this panel of javier

HES SO SILLY CUTE PLAYING WITH THE SUMMONS THEYRE ADORABLE EEHEHEHEHE

anyway . to the brainrot

i think this panel of lloyd turning his back to javier, immediately after telling javier to go on break for a while, was the first little indicator of "oh no" for me

it really worried me that he said this, especially when they've been working together so much on their journey, so this was tiny little moment of "oh boy whats going on,,," for me,,, idk if anyone else felt the same but i had a feeling i would Not be ready for this ep. and i was right i was absolutely not ready

and then we hit the montage of javier going around the estate and observing how much the land has changed, and i really loved that!! it was really heartwarming seeing everyone, smiling and achieving dreams and stability in a way that the fronteras hadnt seen in a long time (hell i was convinced "oh everythings fine nvm" 😭)

some of my favorite panels in that sequence heehee bayern and his kids this was really really sweet WAAAHH

JAVIERS EXPRESSION HERE WAS SUPER FUNNY TOO absolutely gonna use this as a reaction image

ALSO THIS STATUE OF LLOYD ADHAHAHAHAHDFAHA IM PRETTY SURE IT IS RELATED TO IF NOT THE SAME AS THE STATUE IN CPSM they do have different poses so it mightve had to be rebuilt or something but either way . lloyd statue where he's near naked for some reason in the middle of frontera estate. a wonderful center piece good work team

AND MY BABY BOY SOLITAS he finally managed to create something im so proud of him GOOD JOB BUD!! THE CARVING IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

it just hit me as im typing this that they also say "[project name] complete" not sure if this is a translation thing or if it's something they picked up from lloyd saying "construction complete" but if its the latter thatd be REALLY CUTE

also that panel of tordes by the mines he looks genuinely . satisfied and happy?? the guy punished to work for the fronteras for over 100 years is having a great time LMAO

AND THIS PANEL OF JAVIER

THIS MADE ME SMILE SO WIDE

it's really really pretty, and javier can see that. he can see that the estate has grown and changed into a strong and capable place, and he echoed this in the last chapter but it's really worth celebrating this. so many accomplishments, in so little time, with so much efficiency. frontera estate has been raised from the ground up and seeing it all accumulated was so so beautiful,,,

so seeing this panel absolutely devastated me

the contrast is STRIKING. all of the brightness and light and warmth of the street javier is in is only seen in partial rays streaking in. lloyd is alone, surrounded by books and in a darker corner of the panel. isolated, facial features unreadable and working by himself,,, refusing to see or ignoring all of the accomplishments behind him.

it's like he's falling back into old habits. that workaholism that kept him alive when he was only kim suho in korea. in order to survive, to keep up, to stay afloat, to stay ALIVE, you must keep working. go to the next project, the next problem, the next assignment, and everything will be fine. only then will freedom be yours to have. only then will you be free of this responsibility you bear for those you love.

but he really doesn't need to do that anymore! he has a whole estate of people who will follow him to the ends of the earth, because he's proven himself to be capable of protecting them. he has parents who love him, despite his changes, despite his past, who have grown to believe in him.

he has his beloved knight, who is waiting for him to call for aid. who only needs a glance or a word to lend a hand. who is waiting for him to come outside and just SEE all that he's done. to celebrate, to have peace. to enjoy home. to simply be at home, together.

"when will you be able to come here...?"

javier, protagonist that he is, sees all this light around, and it's peeking into this library that lloyd is in, wondering where the engineer is, but his nose is to a book. because he is working. and that's,,, scary to see. there's a level of distance already taking shape because of old habits, and i don't know if either of them realize it

and like you look at the panel javier is in one more time and you can see, there's kids playing as javier and lloyd! they even have matching hair, and the dog is colored exactly like ppodong. super cute! but it worries me that they're on opposite sides of javier.

said this earlier; this is probably an overanalysis and this probably means nothing. it really is a cute lil cameo of some kids in town! but the fact that they are split like this is eating at me. ppodong-dog is on javier-kid's side, when ppodong is lloyd's summon? and again, they're on opposite sides of javier, will they join back together and keep playing? lloyd-kid is ahead of javier-kid, will he run on ahead without looking back? it's so cute and yet it's making me anxious!!! am i overthinking???

anyway, this split and the two panels contrasting each other like this filled me with so much nervousness that i had to close my eyes and just breathe for a little bit

then we see arcos and marbella talking about lloyd and it's clear they're worried about him, still unsure of where these changes in behavior came from and yet accepting it nonetheless because god dammit theyre good kind people

and when we see lloyd he looks,,,

tired, and disheveled, and still only thinking about working on the next thing. he keeps going on too, like there's nothing currently wrong with this; he's probably used to it, handling everything without a moments rest. the count and countess even mention it at the end of the episode

and when he treats the formal frontera attire lightly and scurries off again, it's like a final nail in this sinking coffin. honestly, i think early lloyd probably would have said similar things to try and skirt the count's attention, but this scene in combination with lloyd being depicted as separated from lloyd, appearing exhausted from continuous work, as well as the following panels of lloyd leaving,,, it fills me with anxiety and dread.

face shrouded in the darkness of the hall, so his features are unrecognizable, just like the library panel. who is that? is it suho or is it lloyd speaking right now? where are you going, into that darkness by yourself, shying away from the light you've brought to this estate? you don't have to do this alone.

and this long, looming distance stretching between him and arcos and marbella. stretching further as lloyd marches onward and alone, working by himself, away from the moments of peace and celebration that his family and his estate bring. into the dark. it's a little haunting to me.

these panels did a really, REALLY good job at solidifying this growing degree of isolation that lloyd is putting himself into, intentionally or not (for lloyd and for the artist lol). he's getting out of reach in his desire to protect everyone, to complete this responsibility he gave himself for the estate.

it's almost,,, backwards? in a way? in the early webtoon, there's a panel where suho is shown trying to reach for a light in the darkness. he believed that if he kept working towards that light, he'll find a way out of this hell he's found himself in, and so everything would be fine. here and now, it could be that he still thinks that this is the case, when it's in fact the opposite. he's brought this light to the estate, but he's putting himself in the dark (and alone, at that) in an effort to reach for the "next light". i don't think he realizes it. this makes me really, really sad. jesus christ well done artist/adaptor

what is it all for if you won't even rest? if you won't turn around and look at all these people who need you around? and not need you as in doing work for them, but need you as in wanting to be with you, and cherishing you, and spending time with you, and simply loving you. yes, time is short and yes, fate is looming, but all this effort to fight those things is still making him lose this connection he has with the estate. he doesn't have to do this alone,,, he doesn't have work endlessly. take a BREAK LLOYD

and by the end of the episode it's to the point that arcos and marbella have realized that that's not lloyd frontera. that's someone else. and gods their faces are DEVASTATING

eyes shadowed, irises blank and lost. they're not frowning deeply, but i can feel the upset layered in. is it disappointment or is it grief? i can't really say for sure, but man,,, man.

anyway yeah i hope u guys understand why this episode gave me anxiety LMFAO

i am so so so sorry for the overthinking/overdissection in this post but my brain started connecting things . whether or not they make sense or if it's just being nitpicky is impossible for me to see so. yeah take this however u will

i actually also briefly saw someone on twitter say that this wasn't in the novel? which is interesting and also a little scary i hope lloyd will turn out alright AHHH

i really hope next episode everyone will be alright ,,, please i cant take this much emotional twisting and turning im gonna lose my mind

see y'all next week or in the next shitpost,,, whichever comes first

[fr3shm3at]

２０２４年０７月０４日

Today is America day and im prepping for the psp customization and video… im very nervous about the costs i really want it to also be a selfcare travelkit when things get stressful. So im trying to find things that remind me of friends and that fit in a smol pencil case. We pray i find a 2000 ceramic white, but i will settle for 3000 just for customization white can go with anything!!!

For our to go lifeline we will need many things:

Pencil pouch big as a PSP 2000 ( the 1000 series is slightly smaller!cewl.) up to your preferences (me space and pouches i will not be using UMD)

Acrylic psp case (prefered with the screen flip protector addon)

Stickers for any occasion, yuh never know. Must match the current psp theme or yami kawaii

1 bracelet charm with 3 small charms to surround it (non acrylic 2D)

1 acrylic 2D

Good Luck Charm (new or old i will have both)

Sticker theme (etsy will have yuhr favorite chibi character 10/10 for center back piece)

Smol Emotional Support Plushie ( under 2 inches )

Acrylic Sheet for temp customization with stickers for interchange-able? Back plates inside the case

Exacto Blade : this is for the acrylic sheet we will be tracing the psp & cutting out the backplate shape out (remember to face the blade opposite of your body, anyone infront of you please tell them to move)

OPTIONAL : HOT GLUE GUN AND EXTRA PSP CASE for resin charms

OPTIONAL : resin charms with no jewlery ring (example: lilypads for mint green)

Fluff doge pencil case & kpop photocard space 2. Adorable stickers to cheer me up and stick it on sum 3. Plushie Bouquett

TH3S3 AR3 MY 1ND13 N33DZ 4 M1 PSP

Finger gauze blue refill ( i have 2 left )

Lipgloss and chapstick inside psp pouch (baby lips and something new)

Mirror fitting psp theme

Keychain tag for both pencil pouch and psp ( i will find the perfect one one day)

SD CARD HOLDER

Psp screen protector sticker thing

Hair holding stuff and i mean everything

My baby jesus good luck charm i won from a King’s Cake a old co worker made herself

One silly miniture gimick food to carry in my psp pouch. I have been eye balling these carrots vs strawberries

1 Blindbox near my aesthetic

Psp wallpaper/theme setting up

Physical list of psp of psp games

Physical list of PSX games (not the home entertainment system)

Physical list of DREAMCAST GAMES

SD card for my 2010 camera to record youtube video TwT still haven’t got one yet

Tripod for phone for setting the psp stuff up!!!!

i hope to get new clothes soon hopefully before i have to record my hands i can find some cute laced gloves…. I chugged a RedBull Amber Edition (Strawberyy Apricot) and currently on my favorite: SEA BLUE. I like when i have time to write out diary entries, i feel like more people talk to me. I feel more human :3.

I will be posting my blog and content about Ps2 Horror game series? blog(s) with all sorts of content. All short & simple for archive reasons till i decide how to do video game essay videos on YouTube. Man i hate demotivation, i feel like my youtube is going no where and its not like i play boring games. They’re all pretty top notch ‘niche’ unknown games. It takes double the time editing the content for me than recording or pressing ‘start stream’ and its pretty upsetting… Many beans tell me to not give ups and i really can’t, i still have +3 more years of this before i can offically call it off. If i end up with a smol community that is fine, i will do 5 year plan making it 4 years left. I’m a simple bean and i did research on my voice even to see whats the problem with people saying my voice makes them fall asleep. Some people are cewl crackheads and like shoot funni joke dopeamine into ya skull, but my voice is basically a milf YAY. My voice gives off oxytocin which is basically what new borns crave from their mother, WONDERFUL. Google is like “yeah u are the cuddle chemical”. WHY I WISH FOR VIOLENCE

Orginal vid

Basically how it feels, why can i not be villian?! Well i must lay down and rest before editing a long fallout archive stream bc i accdentally said free the nipple dressing a settler and her clothes were not compatable (god end me pls) but i shal continue to hunt my psp stuff, the money for it is coming soon and im getting a job so. I must ask fast!!! THERE WILL BE NO WHITE PSPS LEFTTT

[huangfilms]

Youtuber!Jisung

summary: we’re both youtubers and i don’t know you personally, but i watch your videos on occasion and we’re both pretty well known on youtube and i mentioned you being cute Once and now our ‘fans’ ship us

(A/N) hey kids im bacc with another scenario! and its for jisung ! this wasnt requested but i wanted it so im writing it :D i hope you enjoy i love u all also blease leave me feedback (ps,, my time is now going to b spent on hs tutor mark and then uhh prince chenle and then bf jisung but idk when i’ll have them out so be patient please!!! love you <3)

so obviously jisung would be that youtube channel filled with dance covers and just videos of him dancing

some videos would include the rest of the dreamies dancing with him

or just random videos,, like vlogs 

his channel is like his little own archive so he can watch these videos when he gets older

like he doesnt care if people watch him he just wants to share these vids of him dancing and doing weird shit with his friends

but he’s well known around youtube anyway

so where do you come in?????/

you’re also a youtuber

but you dont really know jisung

you do watch his videos sometimes because hes crazy talented

and a little awkward but its endearing and cute

you tend to binge watch his videos when you’re bored

um,,, your youtube channel is basically like his

except its more of vlogs and everyday life videos

you dance sometimes (and if you dont just pretend that you do HAHA)

anyway

so one day you wake up with a billion notifications

and a lot of messages from your friends

‘check your twt y/N BLEASE’

and youre s o confused

and you see that you’ve gained a lot of subscribers or whatever overnight and you’re just????? why???

then you open up twitter and then you see it

‘omg i ship y/n with jisung ! they would be so cute together AHHH’

someone tweeted that

you have never been more confused because you don’t think you’ve mentioned him in your videos

you do watch him as stated above but like,,,, whats goin on

your phone dings and you see that you got a text from ur bestie 

‘watch this RIGHT NOW’ and attached to it is a youtube link

so you click on it and its a video from jisung and the title is uhhh

‘Q&A with my 🅱️ros 😩💯👊’

so ur just laughing and shit and ur like halfway through the video

and you’re wondering why your friend sent it to you

but then theres this question

‘do you watch other youtubers??? if so who?’

and you can see jisung turn red

and its so CUTE

but then he says something that like,,,,,,,, SHOCKS you

fat oof

‘u-um i watch y/n’s channel a lot! they’re super talented and i mayhaps think that they’re cute,,, or whatever,,,,,’

and then it becomes quiet

‘ANYWAY’ - probably donghyuck

and you pause the video and you SCREAM

cause in ur videos u act like a total crackhead i mean if ur on this website then ya ur a certified crackhead

then you start to text ur friend and you’re freaking out

its all incoherent words and keyboard smashes

but then on twt ur just like,,,, ‘@ jisungstwthandle i think you’re cute or whatever too’

EVERYONE IS RIOTING CAUSE !

when jisung gets the notification hes screaming

‘JAEMIN LOOK’

‘mhm mhm’ hes not even paying attention to jisung

after that tweet you post another that says ‘reply what i should do for my next video kids !’

a lot of people say a collab with jisung

others say q&a

SO you don’t really want to bother jisung so you stick to the q and a idea

and then you say to tweet you with uhhh wutevr hashtag with a question and you’ll answer it in a video

you’re not surprised when you see tons of questions asking about jisung

‘so first question,,,, ‘what do you think about jisung???’

you just quietly laugh before you start talking

‘i watch his videos all the time! he’s crazy talented so if you don’t already watch him,,, what r u doing ! plus he’s so awkward that its endearing and i dont know, hes cute or whatever’ and then you wink at the camera

when you post this video jisung watches it

and then when he gets to that part of the video about that question abt him

HE BLUSHES CAUSE OF YOUR WINK

‘jisung why are you red’

‘nothing go away’

so after a few weeks all of it dies down

people still think yall would b cute together

but its more mellow 

then ! jisung posts a pic on twt saying that he’ll have a special collab posted on yt soon! 

and the picture is of two pairs of legs LMAO 

everyone is just ??? cause who could it b

no one suspects its you cause you two ‘havent interacted’ for weeks 

what they don’t know is that you and jisung actually started to talk more! 

so much to the point where you guys are doing a surprise dance collab

hehahhehskdfh

so when jisung drops that youtube video

everyone is screaming, crying, wigless

cause your guys’ dynamic really does go well together

after that you two hang out a lot and he becomes part of your yt videos a lot

vice versa with you in his

everyone loves the both of you its really heart warming cause everyone can see how whipped you two are for each other just not,,, you guys smh

so!!!! its been like months and you can confidently say that jisung is part of your life

and you may or may not of developed a crush on him

he may or may not have developed a crush on you too

but you dont say anything

oh my god open your ears blease

anyway

in the comments you could see a lot of them being about the two of you

‘two they're so cute!!!!!!’

‘Blease Date Already’

sometimes you read them and you get so flustered just thinking about it

well one day you’re reading comments and u get a text from jisung

and he's asking if you want to do a q and a video together

since you guys haven’t done one together yet

so you both tweet about it blah blah whatever

when it comes to the filming you guys are loose and comfortable with each other

but then you stumble across this question that makes everything g so a w k w a r d

‘are you guys dating?’

jisung was drinking something but now he's choking and coughing

‘no! we are not dating BUT i do like jisung in that way’ and then you wink

and then you’re just s o casual about it ‘next question says-’

jisung’s heart is going into overdrive

yOu liKe mE OH mY gOd - his mind

‘jisung u ok there bud????’

and he just nods and smiles big to show that he is ok when he is intact /not/ okay

but anyway

you’re done filming and then you start to edit right after

jisung is just occasionally bringing you snacks but

don't think he FORGOT

cause he didn't !

‘y/n, did you really mean it when you said you liked me???’

then you stop clicking and then you look at him with a grin

‘of course i did jisungie!!!! i thought i was obvious mister’ and then you start laughing but then you go back to editing

‘i- uh, just wanted you to k-know that i like you too.’

‘i know’

‘HOW’

‘you’re friends with 6 demons sweetheart i been knew’

and jisung is dumbfounded and embarrassed

but hey at least you like him too hehehe

‘so.... y/n..... what are we???’

and ur just like hm we’ll be whatever you want us to be!

so then he smiles big ‘okay be my s/o’

‘ask me again in a week’ and his smile drops

‘I’M JUST KIDDING’ ASKJDFLASD

anyway now you’re together !!!!!!

so when you upload the video you put in the description box that !!! jisung asked you out while editing the video so yes! you guys are dating

everyone is not surprised but they’re all happy for you guys

but on camera jisung is too shy to do anything like kissing or whatever

the most HE’S ever done is hold your hand or hug you

but you???????? sis u really b out here

you kiss him on the cheeks

everywhere on his face

you smother him with love and he gets sooo shy 

but everyone loves it cause you guys are so cute together

in the comments you get stuff like ‘wow they’re so CUTE makes me wanna throw up- iN A GOOD WAY’

when the dreams see you guys be too couple-y or whatever

‘you guys are children blease stop it’ - probably mark

but anyway!! i don’t think there would be a dull moment cause off and on camera

you guys would be dancing and popping everywhere

like,,,,, music is being played so you or jisung start dancing and the other joins in

i don't know i find yt jisung so wholesome cause he's got talent and him spreading his talent through videos on the inter webs is so cool !

Masterlist

[springleaves]

info about the upcoming months

yeah ok ive got an essay for you about my future activity BUT first things first i hope everyone will have a happy and successful 2017!! treat yourself well, remember that you are loved and i hope this year is extremely positive for you ❤️❤️❤️

onto the real stuff,,, this might be kinda long but don’t worry i’ll put a tl;dr at the bottom for those who struggle to read long passages of text or simply don’t care that much aHA its only regarding the activity of this blog so i mean if you don’t care that much feel free to skip the huge wall of text that probably has incorrect grammar and hundreds of typos or just ignore this do what makes u happy

explanation under the cut!

so january 4th is the day i go back to school and it also means it’s the last stretch of my (final) school year (fuckign bless). and like i’ve mentioned before i will be having my summer a level exams this year, and in the upcoming next week and a half or so i will be having mock exams, so i will be inactive because of that (and i’m going to be more dead than i was in the last couple of months of 2016).

aaaaaand i’m basically going to be inactive for a good 5-6 months or so until everything is finished and i’m on holiday from end of june-july till september due to the fact drawing takes up so much of my time and i have to study if i want to get to my chosen university (as i’m sure a lot of you can understand since a lot of us are students whether its high school or uni and the such)

therefore stuff will be changing about this blog, like my actual presence on here and in terms of art posting. of course im not going to be completely dead so i will pop in occasionally and if you send me a message or ask i will respond asap, but of course, bear with me on that. if you need me urgently, your best bet is twitter, i’m always active on there so i will respond immediately (unless i’m asleep but thats different)

for the most part i will be setting up a queue and posting the odd occasional life story so you know i’m not completely dead but yes, that’s the general outline on the next few months of this blog :’) and onto the art-sy bit because hey, this IS mainly an art blog so if that’s what you’re looking for the next few points are the ones you want to read~

>>>art

im one of those artists who gets horrible withdrawal symptoms from not drawing too long so i can assure you there will be the odd occasional fanart popping up every now and then, most likely in the form of canvases from last year that i’ve finished up. i’ll probably be doodling a lot more this year so traditional art is available

>>>requests

current requests will be finished albeit slowly, i tried to get them done in the final week of my christmas holiday but due to some major personal issues i’ve struggled and have done next to nothing, but i will try my best to get them done within this month;;

requests will continue to be closed until im on summer break and even then requests are going to be limited. assuming i’ve improved my art to the stage i want it to be at, requests will be limited to two at a time and alongside it im going to start doing commissions in order to aid me a tiny bit in terms of uni funds (again, due to personal issues i’ll struggle to find a job). if commissions go well i actually plan to start hosting giveaways of merch/albums etc the sort but we’ll see how that goes first lol

of course thats only if my art has gone where i want it to, otherwise i’ll continue having an unlimited list of requests with the small possibility of commissions on the side HONESTLY who knows at this point like im happy with my art but not happy happy happy extraordinarily happy like wow bouncing off the walls ya feel

>>>army birthday gifts

i will still be posting birthday gifts as best as i can! as shown by one i posted today i’ll be doing them a little differently this year but i will still try my best to post them! of course it might cause problems for me since people change urls but i’ll do my best,,,, if i happen to be late i sincerely apologise but its not personal ok ily

well thats pretty much it, i pooped so much stuff out that im sad that i cant do this for my school essays but thats fine ok me

i may also potentially maybe with a 45.6% possibility post fics and write more things this year since i usually do it when im writing essays or studying so like idk expect fics?? maybe??? when i muster the courage to post them i mean i already have like 5 drabbles sitting in my files with one chapter of a long fic honestly punch me im not good with words why am i doing this

tl;dr:

inactivity until july; may pop in every now and then

find me on twt because im always there if u need me

q; whens my school love affair (i literally thought of this just now and im keeping it)

requests are still closed im sorry

army birthday gifts will go up as normal

oh man holy shit

did i mention i was eating ice cream while typing this and i cant feel my limbs now