#so ty star trek the original series for finally making me

[gglinaa]

a small self-indulgent comic about jim suddenly growing wings and spock being drawn to them

[writing-in-april]

Star Wars vs. Star Trek

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

This is my entry for the secret fic swap that was organized by the ever amazing @imagining-in-the-margins 

The person I got was-  @sunlight-moonrise  who is an amazing little bunny that I love

Thankies all around to my lovely helpers @definitelynotkatesblog , @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ and @httpnxtt  Plus I was inspired by all the asks that @reidscardigan​ gets, it fuels my smutty thoughts!

Warnings: Jealous!Spencer, Rough sex, Impact play (on the heavy side), Face fucking, Light degradation, Choking, Bruising/Marking, Hair Pulling, Unprotected sex, and Orgasm Denial

A/N: I had a great time writing this I think its one of my best works! Feel free to drop a request in my inbox if you have a request (No duplicate requests please)

Word count: 3.6K

Masterlist   

  Spencer and I finally have some vacation time, and my god it feels like it’s been forever. We both worked ridiculously hard at the BAU, so Hotch had finally determined that it was time for the team’s mandatory two-week break this year.  

As soon as we got home the both of us stripped of our work clothes and cuddled up on the couch to watch some movies. Spencer had the remote in his hand scrolling through to find a movie, the cursor landed on Star Trek. I could feel his puppy dog eyes looking up at me through his glasses that he only wore at home trying to convince me into letting him choose it. “Noooo Spencer, we watched it last week” I groaned. Sometimes it felt like your relationship was Spencer and Spock, and you as the delightful third wheel. “Ok what about a different one? We don’t have to watch any of the vintage ones, the new movies aren’t my favorite but they’re still extraordinary pieces of film art!” he ranted enthusiastically. “No, why don’t we watch Star Wars?” I begged, he knew it was my favorite but still insisted that Star Trek was better. “No, because I know you’ll ask to watch the sequels and I don’t like them, the story is just a repeat of the originals.” his eyes rolled and I was surprised they didn’t get stuck in the back of his head. Spencer and I have had this argument many times. The back and forth on which series was better was exhausting but so exhilarating. “Star Wars looks better, has better music, and better plot lines overall!” My voice slightly raised, I hated it when he tried to prove me wrong about this. Star Wars was my cemented favorite just as his was Star Trek. “Star Wars has straight up inaccuracies while Star Trek has improbabilities, not outright errors.” Spencer snarked back. I could tell neither of us were going to win this debate anytime soon. We always ended up in a shouting match about  why we thought our favorite series was better. “Fuck you! I’m right, Star Wars is so much better! I mean look at Kylo Ren, he’s so much better then Kirk or Spock!” Spencer’s face turned into an expression mixed with jealousy and rage. “And look how good he looks during that interrogation scene!” I continued. “You think he’s hot?!” He accused profiling the look I had on my face as I was talking about Kylo “What are you jealous of a fictional character?” I asked mockingly, a knowing smirk adorning my face. Maybe I could get him riled up enough to get something else out of tonight. “N-no of course not that’s absurd!” He squeaked out, giving away how he truly felt. A coquettish smirk grew on my face as I got an evil idea. I deftly snuck my hands into my sleep shorts, slipping under my cotton panties and started to rub soft circles on my clit, not fully giving myself the stimulation that I desired. Spencer’s eyes bugged out of his head getting whiplash from the conversation switch. “Kylo” I moaned out with a simper, gathering my slick arousal I slid down my folds, pushing a finger inside, immediately crooking the digit to locate my g spot. I wanted to push Spencer to the edge of jealousy till he snapped. He got practically feral if I worked him up enough. I continued my descent into a selfish climax- adding another finger, as I picked up the speed of my thrusts into my dripping heat. My mind was so lost in the pleasure I forgot Spencer was there- until my hand was violently jerked from my pussy by a tight clasp on my forearm, just before I was about to fall into bliss. “What do you think you're doing?” Spencer spat.

That voice was usually reserved for unsubs, which served to further dampen my panties, his mind had switched into his dominant persona that was prevalent in the bedroom. “Just indulging myself, Spencer, since you won’t.” I bit back, irritated I’d been brought back from the edge of toe-curling bliss. He shot me a harsh look and tightened his grip on my arm, a warning if you will. I could tell I had just gotten myself into deep trouble, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to rile him up further. “Get in the bedroom and strip. You’ve earned yourself a punishment, brat.” His tone had gotten down right deadly at this point, but I didn’t let that deter me. I was on a mission. I decided to further dig myself in a hole by ignoring his order, simply crossing my arms and turning my head away. I could feel his bitter gaze boring into the back of my skull as I continued to defy his order, my excitement pooling in anticipation for the brutal punishment I’d surely earned. We sat like that for a while- refusing to break out of my sass, and him making sure that I was really ready for what he had in store for me. My legs started to squirm, the tension was almost unbearable. Just before I was about to give him another smart remark his other hand shot out to my leg, holding it firmly so I was no longer moving. A surprised squeak escaped my lips as Spencer  flipped me onto my stomach, my knees coming to rest on the floor and my chest pressed into the couch. I tried to regain my balance in an attempt to crawl away from him but he quickly moved to hover over my form, boxing me in with his arms. “Are you trying to get in more trouble, Dolly?” he asked, his tone dark and condescending. A pathetic little whimper escaped my throat. When I failed to reply quick enough by his standards, a large palm came down on my backside, forcing an answer out of me.

“Yes! I’m sorry Sir, I was trying to get in t-trouble.” “Tsk tsk. Only bad girls like punishment, Doll.” He sounded disappointed. I dug my nails into the plush and hid my face into the cushion, trying to escape from under his heavy gaze. He pulled my hands to rest behind my back, tying my hands with what felt like a drawstring from sweatpants. He’d learned to improvise during our time together; had he left to find more appropriate rope, there was no guarantee I’d be in the same position he left me in by the time he got back. He snaked his hands through my hair, yanking hard to pull my body flush against his own. “Color?” He asked quickly, checking in with me, which only made the situation hotter-what can I say? Consent is sexy. “Green” I replied with a grin. Being disciplined was always exhilarating. “What’s my punishment, Sir?” He let go of the grip on my hair, his hands swiftly moving to remove my shorts and now soaked cotton thong, revealing my bare bottom to him. I rubbed my legs together trying to get some sort of friction but was interrupted by Spencer wrenching my legs apart. “You do that again I’ll add 20 more and you’ve already earned yourself 40- plus a little extra something.” His words hummed against the shell of my ear, sending a shiver trickling down my spine. I groaned in protest and tried to wiggle myself away from him, his hand coming down onto my left cheek in response. “Doll-“ He warned sharply. “If you keep this up I won't let you cum for a week.” His words shook me to my sassy core; I was greedy and there was no way I was going to get myself in more trouble. “I’m sorry...” I muttered into the couch cushion. “Say it louder, Dolly.” The sing song tone/cadence of his voice felt like a trap- contrasted to his previously dark tone and warning smack brought down on my backside. “I’m really sorry, Sir!” I shouted. With my cry, I gave up control to Spencer entirely.  He loved when I acted like this, no matter how angry he pretended to be. “Do you mean it this time?” I could hear the devilish smile on his lips. “Yes!” I confirmed on a shaky breath. I was done fighting him. “You’re so good to me a-and I shouldn’t have tried to make you jealous.”

Although he couldn’t see my eyes, I put on my biggest, sweetest set of puppy dog eyes to really drive my point home.

“So you’re going to sit pretty and take your spankings like a good girl, right?”

I nodded sheepishly, secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe if I was good enough that I might get to come tonight. He let me stew in my thoughts for a minute before resuming his assault on my behind. His hand gripped both cheeks into his palms, kneading the tender flesh that was about to be covered in black and blue handprints. As the first strikes landed on my right side, he grabbed a blanket for me to cuddle into as he landed each smack, his full strength being used in each one, exhibiting just how much I pissed him off. My nerves were prickling, my ass had already started to sting and he hadn’t even reached the 10th strike. I’d definitely be able to feel the pain for the next week- maybe longer. Teardrops started to coat from my lashes onto my cheeks as he switched to the left cheek. By the time he’d reached the halfway mark, the blanket had become soaked by my uncontrolled muffled sobs. His rhythm never faltered as he continued to pepper the now-raw skin of my bottom with more punishing blows. “What are you?” He finally spoke as he was nearing the end of his count, my fingers digging into my palms to help me get through the last few. “I’m a bad girl, Sir” I pathetically whimpered into the blanket.

A brutal THWACK landed against my backside, letting me know he was looking for me to use my big girl voice.  A sob raked through my chest, sending more tears down the blushed apples of my cheeks. “I’M A BAD GIRL, SIR!” My bruised bottom felt like it had been burned by hot coals with welts forming as evidence, as Spencer drew out the last few at a languid pace. When he finally finished, he dropped his head down to plant kisses on each injured cheek, a sign of appreciation for behaving. “You dirty girl, you're getting off to this ” He said matter of factly, moving to run his finger through my drenched folds, his fingers probed my entrance trying to get me more worked up. Surging forward, he replaced his fingertips with his tongue stirring a fire deep in my belly, placing delicate kitten licks along my folds. My body writhed against his touch and for a moment, I thought I might get off easy. Until, again, he pulled away just as I was about to shatter into a million pieces. “Sirrrrr, please?” I begged, my clit was throbbing in tandem with the blood pounding under the skin of my raw and tender bottom. His threat from earlier became evident- he wasn’t going to let me cum easily. “No, Doll, you still haven’t proven that you’re sorry enough.” He roughly yanked me off the sofa, positioning me on my knees in front of him, his clothed cock sitting right in my eye-line. The sweatpants that he had dawned were taken off quickly, I drank in the sight of his hard cock through tear-stained eyes. “Color?” He asked while cradling my jaw. The realization hit me, and I became blissfully aware of one thing: he was about to fuck my face. “Green.” I was always happy to give Spencer pleasure, and to see all the power just my mouth had over him was insanely erotic to me. He gripped his cock in one hand, pulling my chin down to open my mouth with the other. I stuck out my tongue for him and leaned forward, wrapping my lips around the head of his erection to begin gently sucking. Precum filled my mouth as I started to bob my head, working my way farther down his length each time until I reached the base of his cock. I choked slightly, my nose nuzzling against the hairs of his waistline. He gripped my hair on both sides with each of his hands and did a shallow experimental thrust forward, giving me a taste of what was coming. My eyes screwed shut as he set a fast pace, his tip hitting the back of my throat, tears starting to prick at the corners of my eyes again. The hardwood grinding against my knees sourced a new pain, but all I was focused on was the cock  being shoved down my throat and pleasuring the man it was attached to. “Open your eyes, Doll. I want you to see what you do to me.” I glanced up with my glassy red rimmed eyes to gaze at the beautiful sight of Spencer, his head was tilted back, sweat coating his ruffled curls, with his mouth hung open in a silent gasp. Even through my tears I could see this man was an angel.  I groaned, somehow I was even more turned on, so much so that I could feel a pool forming on the floor from my arousal. He rutted harder into my mouth signaling that he was close to his release, drool was now dripping from the sides of my mouth, wetting the thin material of my pajama top. Hot spurts shot down my throat with a strangled cry from him. Tasting his salty release on my tongue, I drank him in, savoring every last drop he had to give me. As he pulled himself out of my mouth, the string of spit connecting my lips to the head of his cock snapped, falling down my chin. Saltwater still cascading down my cheeks met with the mess on my chin, creating  a messy mixture. Spencer pressed a thumb to my cheek, pushing the few drops of cum that escaped along with some spit into my mouth. “You being a cry baby, Dolly?” he cooed condescendingly, wiping away the drops that accumulated onto my cheek bones as I sent him a little pout. “You should’ve thought about the consequences before you broke the rules, Doll.” Turning me around, he pressed my chest into the coffee table across from the couch. Though I still had on my shirt, the cold surfaces rubbed against my sensitive nipples making them harden to a peak. He hadn’t done anything for a minute, so I tried to turn my head to see what he was doing. I was met with a harsh tug at my jaw forcing it to prop up facing the tv. The television flicked to life flooding the screen with the Disney+ logo I tried to glance back again to shoot him an incredulous look, but again I was repositioned roughly to stare at the screen. He clicked through until landing on the Force Awakens. My brows furrowed, but I decided not to push my luck by asking any questions. He pressed play and started fast forwarding until he landed on the scene I had been referencing that got in me trouble in the first place. Kylo Ren graced the screen, starting his interrogation with Rey. Was he going to sit here and make me watch it? Was he going to let me cum? Or was he going to edge me the whole night and hang me out to dry? I was snapped out of my thoughts by a tug at my neck, his palms wrapping around like a necklace, pulling my torso up so that my eyes locked perfectly to the moving figures on the screen. “You think he could fuck you better then I can, Doll?” he ground out. “That pathetic boy compensates with his saber, yet you have the whole package right here sweetheart.” I gasped and wriggled at his words, becoming down right desperate to have him do anything to me. He finally relented, dragging his free hand up my folds, still just barely touching me- ghosting around my clit. He sucked dark bruises into my neck, and as his teasing touches continued, I impatiently whined. “Please, Sir I need you.” “Why should I? You have Kylo don’t you?” “I already said I’m sorry, Sir! And I mean it really!” My begs filled our apartment, loud enough to completely mask the sound of the movie. I had been completely ignoring the film, focusing solely on trying to gain some sort of pleasure from the man endlessly denying it. “Ok, Dolly but only if you promise to never do it again.” I tried my best to nod against  his vise grip on the column of my throat. He deftly snuck two fingers into my pussy, fitting snugly inside of me causing my body to unconsciously move my lower half against him. He started to pump and curl them, expertly hitting the perfect spot each time making stars appear behind my eyes. Suddenly he removed his fingers, quickly replacing it with something far more satisfying before I could complain. His cock bottomed out, filling me to the hilt eliciting a surprised squeak from me. He always made me feel so full-it felt like heaven. His hips propelled forward starting a rough rhythm that left almost no room to breathe, the movie had been completely muffled by our moans and sounds of slapping skin, a heavy dose of sex lingering in the air. His thrusts were irritating the already brutalized flesh off my ass, but the stinging sensation just aided in ecstasy that flowed through my veins. “You look so much prettier with these bruises.” He grunted as I tried to arch my back to a steeper angle so I could take him as deep as possible. “It shows everyone who’s mine, even if they are a fictional character.” Spencer was repeatedly hitting my g spot sending me closer and closer to the edge, but I knew I had to ask permission before I came. “Please, Sir, Please! I’m so close! Can I cum?” “Why do you think you deserve to cum Doll?” He asked, I should’ve known he was still going to throw one last tease in before letting me orgasm. “Because- I - I don’t know I just need it!” I let out a frustrated sob as he continued to thrust with reckless abandon. “Ok. Doll. Let. Go.” he said, accentuating each word with a sharp rock with his hips. My eyes rolled far into the back of my head as I was sent careening into pleasure, the coil that sat deep in my belly snapped, sending me into violent waves of pleasure. As I rode out my delicious high, Spencer’s hips stuttered and the grip on my neck was tightened as he shot ropes into me, stuffing me to the brim. He let go of my neck letting me relax my head onto the table. I’m sure I had a messy, freshly-fucked look on my face but I couldn’t be bothered to care.“Have you learned your lesson?” He asked once he had caught his breath. I nodded meekly, knowing full well I’d be back on my brattiest behavior as soon as these bruises faded. We both groaned as he slipped his softening cock from out of my folds. He slowly padded away to grab his items for aftercare-my favorite part. I had never had a partner show so much care for me like Spencer had. He came back with everything he needed and got to work, starting by cleaning my folds with a washcloth, then switching to a fresh one wiping the tears and spit away from my face. Aloe that he had made sure to warm up was then squirted onto my cheeks, he rubbed the liquid in softly massaging the abused flesh with gentle care. My limbs still felt like jello when it was time to stand, so Spencer helped guide me into new clean pajamas, he even made sure to pick out the velvet ones I liked, they always felt like little soft caresses were being peppered against my skin when I wore them. “You ok, Doll? You haven’t said anything.” He whispered gently, as if afraid he’d startle me. “Yeah” I croaked.My voice had been thoroughly abused throughout the night making rasp harder than normal. “Just feel a little woozier than normal.” He quickly enveloped my form into a hug, drawing me in close so I could smell the cologne that made itself a part of everything he owned. Sitting us both down on the couch, he found as many blankets and as possible making a little fort of warmth around us.

“I’m sorry I was harsh, Doll.” “No no, I liked it, it was just intense.” My scratchy voice obviously made him cringe. “So you are jealous of a fictional character?” I cheekily quipped to try and cheer him up. He let out a chuckle in response and started to ghost little butterfly kisses all across my face.

“I love you,” he whispered between kisses. “Sing to me?” I asked softly. I cherished his horrible singing with all my heart, it made me  soft and mushy on the inside. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my dolly away.” I started to drift to sleep even though I was fighting to giggle at Spencer’s croaky singing. Despite his god awful singing in my ear, sleep found me, whisking me away to the land of sweet dreams. I drifted off in his arms, knowing I was his good girl- knowing he would love and cherish me until the ends of the Earth.

[laurenhufflepuff2]

A list of fandoms I'm in (in no particular order, will probably be updated regularly. Some fandoms are more intense and some are more casual. Depending on the fandom, I could go on and on about fandom topics for HOURS. Let's get into it!)

Harry Potter, Disney, Marvel, DC comics, Miraculous Ladybug, Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra, Star Wars, Literature, Winx Club, Nintendo, Minecraft, Little Witch Academia, Voltron, Coraline

Details:

Harry Potter- I got into Harry Potter in 7th grade and now I am the resident expert in my family and in my friend group. I read all the books, watched all the movies (notably the British version), and I've seen the Fantastic Beasts films as well. I've also read Tales of Beedle the Bard (the Warlock's Hairy Heart was traumatizing) along with the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook (plus an updated edition). I also read The Cursed Child script and while I mean no hate to anyone that liked it, I hated what it did to the canon. I am in Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw tendencies (I took the Pottermore quiz 3 times, 2 out of 3 I got Hufflepuff, the other time was Ravenclaw). I had a pottermore account and I was so upset when it got converted to the Wizarding World page. I cosplayed Hermione in 7th grade complete with British accent and even monologued as her for a talent show (classmates and teachers would recognize me as the Hermione girl all the way through high school). I was obsessed and I still love it even if J.K. Rowling has gone off the deep end on Twitter... yeah... my favorite character is Hermione but I also relate to Luna

Disney- there's so much that goes into the Disney part of my fandom list. I'm excluding Marvel and Star Wars from this part as they were originally separate entities before Disney got the rights to them. I have seen almost every animated Disney film ever and often use random movie quotes in conversation. My favorite villain is Maleficent, my favorite princess is Ariel (followed by Belle, Rapunzel, and Anna). I relate to so many of the characters. I'm not sure who my favorite Pixar character is though (I love Violet, Sadness, Dory, and Piper (from the short)). My favorite Disney fairy is Fawn. My favorite characters overall are Ariel and Stitch. Disney is definitely on the list as one of my biggest obsessions. My favorite movies are Lilo and Stitch, the Little Mermaid, Inside Out, Alice in Wonderland (original), and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Marvel- I mostly get my Marvel exposure through the MCU, other movies, and animated TV shows. I have difficulty reading graphic novels so most of my comic book knowledge comes from friends, posts, or wikis. My favorite characters are Spider-Man, Captain America, Peggy Carter, and Scarlet Witch. I also like Gwenpool, Deadpool, Spider-Gwen/ Ghost-Spider, Venom, Squirrel Girl, Daredevil, Mantis, Gamora, Black Widow, Iron Man, Thor, Loki, Bucky, Black Panther, and most MCU characters. Out of the X-men I really like Professor X, Wolverine, Mystique, Magneto, Nightcrawler, and Quicksilver (either version- MCU or Fox).

DC- this was the franchise I was more familiar with growing up but again, graphic novels aren't easy for me to read so most of my knowledge comes from information pages about the comics or from tv/movies. My earliest experience with DC came from the 60s Batman series, with Catwoman and Robin being my favorites. I also watched the Wonder Woman series from the 70s and a handful of CW shows, my favorite of which being the Flash and Arrow. I also managed to watch all 5 seasons of the Teen Titans Cartoon Network series from 2003. With that being said, my favorite characters are Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Flash, Batman, Nightwing/Robin (Dick Grayson), Green Arrow, Starfire, Raven, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Alfred. I also like most of the bat family, and when it comes to CW I LOVE Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost and Cisco.

Miraculous- this is one of my guilty fandoms but since this is Tumblr I'm not too worried about it. I love Marinette and I relate to her on an astoundingly deep level (minus the stalking and obsession with potential lovers, that's creepy). If I had a miraculous, I'd probably want the Ladybug one, but the Cat miraculous, fox miraculous, and snake miraculous are good too. My favorite character is Marinette/Ladybug.

Atla/Tlok- I jumped on the avatar bandwagon just when it was starting to get popular, so I managed to get through the series before the memes took over everything. Same with Tlok, although i couldn't completely avoid the spoilers for that when i started it. I've been wanting to get into the comics because of the short story comics I've read, they seem easier to read than superhero comics. My favorite characters are Aang, Katara, Ty Lee, Iroh, Korra, Jinora, Asami, Suki, Appa, Momo, Naga, and Pabu. I also like Sokka, Mai, Zuko, Lin, Kuvira, Varrick, Zhu Lee, and Azula. I feel really sorry for her and while I understand that a redemption arc would undermine the importance of her corruption arc, I still wish she could have one. I would love to be a waterbender or an airbender... maybe a waterbender raised in the air nation? Obviously, being the avatar itself would be awesome. The show has taught me a lot of great lessons and put a lot of stuff into perspective for me.

Star Wars- oh boy, talking about this one is dangerous. I've seen firsthand the horrors of the Star Wars fandom but then again no one will probably see this anyway so... I've seen all the movies and I remember watching the clone wars series with my brother when I was younger but we fell wayyy behind and it's taking us forever to get back into it. I've also seen the Mandalorian and quite enjoyed it. I like the prequels unironically, in fact, the prequels are some of my favorite movies. I especially like how they switched from lightsabers being heavy weapons to light weapons that can be used for all kinds of tricks that make for epic battles like the ones we see in Revenge of the Sith. The sequels were fun to watch but when I would analyze them along side their predecessors, I came to the conclusion that, for me, they were good to watch but did not do anything good for the rest of the franchise. My favorite characters are prequels/clone wars Obi Wan and Anakin, Padme, Ashoka, Leia, R2D2, BB-8, R4-P17, the Mandalorian (Din Djarin), and Grogu. If I had a lightsaber I'd want it to be blue, but when I was little I got a purple one like Mace Windu because it was closer to pink and I was into pink at the time. I still have that lightsaber and none of my friends have a purple one so it's one of my flexes. I feel like I wouldn't make a good jedi because of attachments being forbidden, so I'd probably become a grey jedi.

Literature- this is a broad term I use to cover all the random books and stories I liked reading and have studied. So we have Shakespeare (Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, Romeo and Juliet), The Great Gatsby (bored while reading, loved to analyze), Grendel (HATED reading, loved to analyze, Grendel really needed a hug and a friend), The Crucible, Fahrenheit 451, Dark Life (+ the sequel Riptide, both are by Kat Falls good reads, sci-fi and kind of dystopian), The Once and Future King

Winx Club- I think the show is trashy but I still love watching it. I haven't been able to get through season 6 though and I hated what they did with season 8 and Fate: the Winx Saga. My favorite character is Bloom along with Stella and Flora. I prefer rai to nick. My favorite transformations are magic winx, enchantix, and harmonix. My favorite member of the Trix is Icy followed by Darcy. My favorite Pixies are Chatta and Lockette.

Nintendo- mainly Pokémon above all else, followed by Animal Crossing. I have also played (mostly as player 2 or just never beat or watched my brother play) mario games, legend of zelda, pikmin, and kirby. Games I haven't played but I just liked the characters/the lore and probably learned about through Super Smash Bros. are Fire Emblem (Lucina mostly), Metroid (Samus and baby metroid), and Kid Icarus. Pokémon is where I'm most knowledgeable but you'll most likely beat me in battle. I am however great at MarioKart and I always destroy my friends at it. Terrible at fighting games though.

Minecraft- I like playing this casually. Sure, I'll play for hours and hours on end for months, but I prefer to stay exclusively in peaceful when playing Survival mode and I don't make anything too ambitious in Creative mode. I like to write, so sometimes I'll make a rough layout of the settings of my stories in different worlds. I prefer interior design and decorating when building, and when in survival mode I focus more on mining and gathering while my brother works on ambitious building projects. I just bring him the raw materials and furnish the interior when he finishes the outside.

Little Witch Academia- this takes up a smaller portion of my fandom list because there were only 2 seasons and a couple movies and I watched the whole series years ago, but I still enjoy it. At one point I wanted to cosplay Akko, and I loved the nod at Twilight through the Nightfall series. And I especially liked the twist that Shiny Chariot was Ursula, which I suspected for some time. The blend between magic and technology was fun to see, but I was so sad that the series ended RIGHT when Akko finally showed signs of magic proficiency. Also, Shiny Chariot being the reason Akko couldn't do magic was heartbreaking.

Voltron- this takes up a much smaller portion of my fandom list mainly because I haven't even finished it. I know hardly anything about Transformers aside from the Bumblebee movie so to me I just watch it for fun. It reminds me of power rangers, star wars, and star trek, and then there's just a transformer insert. But I don't know anything about Transformers so maybe the show is more rooted in canon than I think.

Coraline- I am in a love-hate relationship with Coraline. I have watched the movie several times, I've read the book, I've watched hours of theories and analyses on youtube, I've watched behind the scenes videos by Laika, and I even wrote a script for a fan film parody. I am amazed at how original the story is and how impressive the stop motion animation is but I also have recurring nightmares from it and it scares me/creeps me out to the max. If anyone asks what my scariness limit is, it's definitely Coraline.

[queenaeducan]

I posted 2,093 times in 2021

53 posts created (3%)

2040 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 38.5 posts.

I added 763 tags in 2021

#dragon age - 311 posts

#cats - 95 posts

#mass effect - 86 posts

#solas - 64 posts

#tes - 46 posts

#long post - 36 posts

#lord of the rings - 35 posts

#tas talks - 33 posts

#star trek - 30 posts

#signal boost - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#she cuddled with more way more last night. was it a birthday treat? or bc its getting cool at night? or... does she fear replacement...

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Six Sentence Sunday!

Here’s the modern Thedas fic I’ve been working on b/c everything else is for the zine/calendar. A small snippet of texts that I haven’t figured out how I want to format yet.

Also ty to the ppl who tag me! I don’t have new stuff to share every week b/c work sometimes be like that, but I appreciate the tags!

[Ian]: Feeling cute. Shame you’re not here to enjoy it.

[Solas]: I can admire it from here.

[Ian]: Not the way I want you to. ;)

A breath of laughter parts his lips, which he covers with one hand to disguise his smile. That premise in mind, his mind is drawn to different details: how the strap drapes part-ways off his shoulder, how the sheer fabric allows an impression of what lies beneath, how high the hem falls across the thigh. It’s easy to imagine how he might ‘enjoy it,’ as Ian puts it. His thumb drags across his phone, curiosity piqued.

[Solas]: What did you have in mind?

17 notes • Posted 2021-10-17 15:02:50 GMT

#4

My, uh, actual current personal WIP is nsfw and I don’t really want to post it on this blog atm. The finished work will likely be linked to AO3 with only SFW stuff here. My focus rn besides that is the Solamancy zine or the DA Calendar fics which I can’t share much of, so I hope you’ll accept meta writing instead!

This is a piece from my WIP that takes a look at spirits throughout the DA series and reinterprets their actions so they’re not just conveniently non-human cannon fodder, beginning with Mouse (the first spirit/demon any Warden possibly meet). This section is about the rage demons we fight in Origins in the Denerim Alienage’s orphanage.

Rage

We meet many Rage demons in Origins and throughout the series, but the spirit I’m referring to are the ones we meet in the Alienage’s orphanage. The recent site of a massacre, the orphanage is now home to a spirit of Rage who attacks those who enter. Rage, I thought, was a curious choice, when Despair and Terror exist. Although the fact that they probably didn’t want to make a new spirit model for this one sidequest would probably explain it on a development level, but then I wondered— whose rage?

The spirits don’t seem to embody the rage of the people who massacred the orphanage, or even the rage of the victims. They tell the Warden and Ser Otto that they “do not belong here” and one is furious that the party has killed “my brood.” I think the presence of the spirits here is indicative of how helpful or benevolent spirits can be twisted by the horrors of our world, that they were drawn by the misery of what happened at the orphanage and upon witnessing it they became enraged. They are ultimately protecting nothing, just an empty building that’s probably best torn down or cleared out, or whatever the elves of Denerim’s Alienage decide they need to properly mourn. Yet as we walk through the building the screams of children still play around us, it’s still happening for them. In the final encounter of the quest, the Rage demon targets and kills Ser Otto (assuming those mabari you encounter like two minutes in don’t get him first) out of your entire party. It makes sense, he is representative of the human justice that allows horrors like this, and what’s more— how many orphans were taken from the orphanage’s midst by people wearing armour just like his, never to return?

The rage demons had every right to be angry, even if their anger manifested in a harmful way. The real tragedy is that, outside of Denerim’s Alienage, most people weren’t.​

17 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 14:52:00 GMT

#3

Happy Sunday! Here’s the first few lines from my fic that’s kind of a sequel to @/theshirallen​’s fic With No Heart to Recall. It begins with Solas plotting a little trip to Crestwood with Ian. Don’t let this very gentle slice-of-life opening fool you it’s gonna get angsty in here. No one is gonna have a good time.

“What are you working on?” Thora asks her question quietly and close to his ear, hanging over the couch with her feet suspended in the air to get a look at what Solas holds in his lap. “Is that a map?” As he jerks away she slides onto the couch cushions, a little laugh upon her lips.

“Yes.” An annoyed flap of his papers punctuates his answer, straightening the drooping corners so they point towards the ceiling. “Though I don’t see what business it is of yours.”

“It is my castle,” she says, “and my room.” In that respect, she’s correct, though it’s difficult to forget the fact. The entire room is sized for her, from the library shelves to the very couch he’s curled on. Should he choose to stretch his legs he would find his knees jutting a foot off the floor, angled awkwardly toward the ceiling. Thankfully, he is comfortable enough as is.​

21 notes • Posted 2021-11-07 15:20:06 GMT

#2

We Tame the Sky

Pairing: f!Cadash / Josephine Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No warnings apply

In the quiet before the final approach on Haven, Thora Cadash and Josephine share a moment together in Skyhold's chapel.

Written as a fill for Spronky as a part of the @/sapphic-solstice event!

Read on AO3 here.

Sitting in the quiet of Skyhold’s chapel, Thora begins to see why her ancestors favoured the stone so. Being born Casteless she had always been as likely to choose a sun-soaked field over a well-lit cave, but tonight is different. Outside, the light breaks in a sickly green over the Frostbacks, scattering across the sky like a spotlight through the pieces of a shattered mirror. Thunder rumbles without storm clouds, booming with Corypheus’ ambition. Beneath the stone chapel ceiling it's not easy to forget the chaos that threatens to tear their world asunder, but peace seems a little more feasible here. The harsh light of a Breach wrenched open is blocked out by a heavy wooden door, and she sits awash in the scent of incense, beneath the watchful eyes of the Maker’s chosen.

She kneels before Andraste, her hopes and dreams clasped between her palms as they come together in prayer. She sings a prayer for those who will ride beside her into the abyss, perhaps never to return, a prayer for those she’s leaving behind, with nothing but belief to buoy their hopes for the future.

And one for herself, should Andraste have any grace to spare.

“You have walked beside me Down the paths where a thousand arrows sought my flesh. You have stood with me when all others Have forsaken me.”

The prayer for the despairing comes too easily to her, the hymn had played a companion to her countless times through the years, but never had its words rang more clearly in her heart than tonight, as she steeled herself to face Corypheus one last time. She can’t pretend she knows what was in Andraste’s heart as she stood before the gates of Minrathous with her army at her flank, but this is likely the closest she’ll ever come to knowing.

“I am not alone. Even As I stumble on the path With my eyes closed, yet I see The Light is here.”

Though the chant evokes the Maker’s light, it’s no longer His face she sees as she closes her eyes, lips pressed against her thumbs in reverent devotion. Before Him come the faces of her friends, the brilliance of Cassandra’s sword as it cleaves through their foes, the glow of Solas’ staff as he cuts through the Deep Roads’ dark, the soft gleam in Josephine’s eye as a smile spreads her lips. Heavensent or no, those were the lights that had gotten her this far.

“There you are.” The sound of Josephine’s voice startles Thora from her prayer, with thoughts of her so near at hand she’d almost thought she imagined it. She looks over in time to see her step lightly through the door, her slippers just a whisper against the floor. “I had thought to find you in the garden, but…” The distant roar of the Breach completes her thought in fewer words. She’d often take her evening prayers beneath the bows of the maple trees, preferring their sanctuary to the small chapel that harboured most of Skyhold’s believers, but she’ll find no peace under them tonight— nor any night until her job is done. Josephine’s lips turn in a smile, a practised expression Thora had seen persist in the darkest circumstances, but it strains now. “Well, what matters is I’ve found you now.”

Thora’s words stick in her throat, all she can do as she rises to her feet is stare dumbly. There always seems too much to say between herself and Josephine to know where to begin.

Thankfully, Josephine always seems to find a way. “I suppose it won’t be long now,” she says.

“It’s just a matter of time.” She wishes they could find anything other than the oncoming fight to talk about, but it may be asking too much of them both. Corypheus is difficult to ignore even at the best of times, now that the ruins of Haven tremble at their doorstep every thought is stained by his influence. “I thought I’d see if I could get a few words in before we set out.”

This time the smile that graces Josephine’s features sneaks up on her, chased by a short breath of laughter. “If it’s good fortune you’re after, I may have just the thing.” Before Thora can so much as ask, the ambassador produces a flag of cloth from the folds of her doublet, flourishing it with a street magician’s flair. “Do you recognise it? The pattern, that is.” She proffers it forward, supporting the fabric with the tips of her fingers so the image lays flat before her eyes. She doesn’t need long to know what she’s looking at (she’d spent far too many hours looking for the blasted thing to ever mistake it): a proud ship sails across an unruly sea, the bow cutting through choppy waves and rendering them calm.

“Your family crest…”

“Soon its likeness will fly above a fleet of ships that will rival the great houses of Antiva, but this one is yours.”

“Mine?”

She nods. “My favour may not have the same weight as Andraste, but if it can accompany you where I cannot, then I give it gladly. May I see your hand?”

Thora immediately extends her right arm, then draws it back just as quick. “No, wait,” she says, offering forward the other, fingers closed into a loose fist to contain the faint buzz of the Anchor. “This one could probably use it more.”

“Naturally.” She winds the handkerchief up so it resembles a bracelet, coiling the fabric up like a rope and measuring it against her slender wrist before she tries Thora’s. Curled ringlets coil around her ears as she leans over to tie it properly, and in all the chaos of Corypheus’ attack she’s still found the presence of mind to perfume herself. Thora discovers this herself as she breathes slowly, and tries to forget her daydreams. “I’m afraid I’ve little else to offer but my hopes, Corypheus has proven most resilient to my charms.” The fabric slides across the smooth finish of her gauntlets without purchase, and then again, each time reset by the patient hand of Lady Montilyet. At last it catches against the details, winding around dwarven runes that spell the Cadash house words in an alphabet that rarely saw sunlight. The sight of her words and the Montilyet crest winding together around her wrist moves something in her. It creeps up her ribs and into her throat and blossoms. Not for the first time since they’ve met, Thora finds herself grateful you can’t choke to death on love.

She ties the knot once, twice, and Thora thinks she sees some reluctance as they fall away to her sides. “May you tame the sky as we tamed the sea, Lady Cadash,” she says in a trembling voice, her words straining against her fears.

“Josephine, I—” Brown eyes rimmed with tears look up at Josephine. The sharp end to her sentence is a keen reminder that while she can’t choke to death on love, she sure can still choke. “I’m…” What she wants to say more than anything feels selfish to say, now more than ever, when her death is so near at hand. What good would it do her to die with no regrets, if it meant sentencing Josephine to a lifetime of them? She grinds her hopes beneath her heel, and tells herself that, should she live to see morning, there’ll be nothing stopping her anymore.

Even if it’s a lie, it’s a lie that can get her through this moment.

“Thank you,” she manages after a moment of tear-induced silence. “I’m... I don’t- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” She folds her hands around Thora’s, cupping the armour-clad knuckles between tender fingers, like her glove was wrought with silk and not steel. “Just come back to us, please.”

Her heart constricts with the burden of a promise she may not keep. The sky calls her name, spelling her doom in the air with the ruins of her first failure, but Josephine’s words have worked miracles for her before. “I’ll do my best, I always— oh.” A distant horn blows, signalling her departure, and their farewell. Eyes laced with tears, she turns to the statue of Andraste as though she were a friend forgotten in the tide of the conversation. “I didn’t get to finish.”

The threads of Josephine’s smile start to unravel, grief twisting the manners from the corners of her lips. “I will finish it for you, Inquisitor,” she says in a voice laid thick with tears she wants desperately to dab from her cheeks. “Go with Andraste’s grace.” Her hands tremble as they release Thora’s, only finding stability as they lace together in prayer. As her footsteps echo with her retreat, she hears Josephine’s voice lift in song, words burdened with her weeping but warm with the Maker’s light.

See the full post

28 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 15:50:56 GMT

#1

It is a disquieting revelation, knowing his worth does not lessen the more he is known; all the rage and misery Ian witnessed in him these past few weeks hasn’t lessened the love in his eyes. (x)

I had the pleasure of commissioning @/artist-rat (commission info here!) to illustrate a scene from a Solavellan fic I wrote earlier this year. They did such a great job bringing the moment to life and I’m still screaming!! Look at them!!! They’ve in love and the world is a mess!!!!

Ian (he/him) is created and written by @/theshirallen. He’s non-binary so please don’t tag this m!solavellan or f!solavellan please and thank you!

144 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 02:09:43 GMT

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[erictmason]

The Road To “Godzilla VS. Kong”, Day Four

(Sorry for the delay on this one, Life proved just a bit too busy the other day to finish it; my “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” review is gonna be pushed back as a result too.  But!  No worries, on we go. ^_^)

KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Writers: Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly, John Gatins

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman, John C. Reilly

Technically speaking, Gareth Edwards’ “Godzila” from 2014 was the first entry in what is now generally referred to as “The Monsterverse”, an attempt by Warner Bros. Studios and Legendary Pictures to do a Marvel Studios-style series of various interconnected movies (and which, like most such attempts to cash in on that particular trend, hasn’t really panned out; “Godzilla VS. Kong” seems likely to be its grand finale as far as movies are concerned, the only two “names” it had going for it are Godzilla and Kong themselves, and even at its most successful it was never exactly a Powerhouse Franchise).  But the thing is, when that movie was made, the idea of a “Monsterverse” did not yet exist; it was only well after the fact that Legendary and Warner Bros. got the idea to turn a new “Kong” project into the building block of a Shared Universe of their own that they could connect with the 2014 “Godzilla”, with a clear eye on getting to remake one of the most singularly iconic (and profitable) Giant Monster Movies of all time.  As you might guess from that description, however, said “Kong” project also had not originally been intended for such a purpose; it would not be until 2016 that it would be retooled from its original purpose (a prequel to the original “King Kong” titled simply “Skull Island”) into its present form, which goes out of its way to reference Monarch, the monster-tracking Science organization seen over in 2014’s “Godzilla” and which includes a very obviously Marvel-inspired post-credits stinger explicitly tying Kong and Godzilla’s existences together.  

The resulting film is fun enough, all things told, but that graft is also really, distractingly obvious.

Honestly, I wish I knew why I’m not, generally, fonder of “Skull Island” than I am.  It’s not as if, taken as a whole, it does anything especially bad; indeed it does a great deal that is actively good.  Consider, for example, the rather unique choice to make it a Period Piece; that’s decently rare for a Monster Movie as it is (indeed one of the only other examples that springs to mind for me is Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake of “King Kong”, which chose to retain the original’s 1933 setting), and it’s rarer still that the era it chooses to inhabit is an immediately-post-Vietnam 1970’s.  Aesthetically speaking, the movie takes a decent amount of fairly-obvious influence from that most classic of Vietnam-era films, “Apocalypse Now” (a fact that director Jordan Vogt-Roberts was always fairly open about), and it results in some of the movie’s strongest overall imagery (in particular a shot of Kong, cast in stark silhouette, standing against the burning sun on the horizon with a fleet of helicopters approaching him, one of a surprisingly small number of times the movie plays with visual scale to quite the same degree or with quite the same success as “Godzilla” 2014).  It also means the movie is decked out in warm, lush colors that really do bring out all the personality of its Jungle setting in the most compelling way and, given how important the setting is to the film as a whole, that proves key; Skull Island maybe doesn’t become a character in its own right the way the best settings should (too much of our time is spent in fairly indistinct forests especially), but it does manage to feel exciting and unusual in the right ways more often than not.  The “Apocalypse Now” influence also extends to our human cast,  which is sizeable enough here (in terms of major characters we need  to pay attention to played by notable actors, “Skull Island” dwarfs “Godzilla” 2014 by a significant margin) that the framework it provides-a mismatched group defined by various interpersonal/intergenerational tensions trying to make their way through an inhospitable wilderness, ostensibly in search of a lost comrade-is decently necessary.  Though here we already run into one of those aspects of “Skull Island” that doesn’t quite land for me.  Taken as a whole, it sure feels like the human characters here should be decently interesting; certainly, our leads are all much better defined and more engagingly performed than Ford Brody, to draw the most immediately obvious point of comparison.  Brie Larson (as journalistic Anti-War photographer Mason Weaver), Tom Hiddleston (as former British Army officer turned Gun For Hire James Conrad), and John C. Reilly (as Hank Marlow, a World War II soldier stranded on Skull Island years ago) definitely turn in decently strong performances; I wouldn’t call it Career Best work for any of them (Hiddleston especially feels like he’s on auto-pilot half the time, while Larson has to struggle mightily against how little the script actually gives her to work with when you stop and look at it) but they at least prove decently enjoyable to watch (Reilly especially does a solid job of making his character funny without quite pushing him over the edge into Total Cartoon Territory).  I likewise feel like Samuel L. Jackson’s Preston Packard has the potential to be a genuinely-great character; his lingering resentment at the way the Vietnam War played out and the way that feeds into his determination to find and defeat Kong is, again, a clever and compelling use of the 70’s period setting, it gives us a good, believable motivation with a clear and strong Arc to it, and Jackson does a really solid job of playing his Anger as genuine and poignant rather than simply petulant or crazed.  But there’s just too much chaff amongst the wheat, too much time and energy devoted to characters and ideas that don’t have any real pay-off.  This feels especially true of John Goodman’s Bill Randa, the Monarch scientist who arranges the whole expedition; the Monarch stuff in general mostly feels out of place, but Randa in particular gets all of these little notes and beats that seem meant to go somewhere and then just kind of don’t.  Which is kind of what happens with most of the characters in the movie, is the thing; we spend a lot of screen-time dwelling on certain aspects of their backstories or personalities, and then those things effectively stop mattering at all after a certain point, even Packard’s motivations.  A Weak Human Element was one of the problems in “Godzilla” 2014 as well, though, and you’ll recall I quite liked that movie.  There, though, the human stuff was honestly only ever important for how it fed into the monster stuff; it was the connective tissue meant to get us from sequence to sequence and not much more.  Here, though, it forms the heart and soul of the story, and that means its deficiencies feel a lot more harmful to the whole.

Still, those deficiencies really aren’t that severe, and moreover, like I was saying before, there’s a lot about “Skull Island” to actively enjoy.  The Monsters themselves do remain the central draw, after all, and for the most part the movie does a solid job with that aspect of things.  It does not, perhaps, recreate “Godzilla” 2014’s attempt to make believable animals out of them (even as it does design most of them with even more obvious, overt Real World Animal elements), but there is a certain playful energy that informs them at a conceptual level that I appreciate.  Buffalos with horns that look like giant logs with huge strands of moss and grass hanging off their edges, spiders whose legs are adapted to look like tree trunks, stick bugs so big that their camouflage makes them look like fallen trees…the designs feel physically plausible (especially thanks to some strong effects work that makes them feel well inserted into the real environments), but there’s a slightly-humorous tilt to a lot of them that I appreciate, especially since it never outright winks at the audience in a way that would undercut the stakes of the story. Kong too is very well done; rather than the heavily realistic approach taken by the Peter Jackson version from 2005, this Kong is instead very much ape-like but also very clearly his own creature (in particular he stands fully erect most of the time), with a strong sense of Personality to him as well; some of the best parts of the movie are those times where we simply peek in on Kong simply living his life, even when that life is one that is, by nature, violent and dangerous.  Less successful, sadly, are his nemeses, the Skullcrawlers; very much like “Godzilla” 2014, Kong is here envisioned as a Natural Protection against a potentially-dangerous species that threatens humanity (or in this case the Iwi Tribe who live on Skull Island, but we’ll talk more about them later), and while they’re hardly bad designs (the way their snake-like lower bodies give them a lot of neat tricks to play against their enemies in battle are genuinely fun in the right sort of Scary Way), they’re also pretty bland and forgettable, even compared to the MUTOS.  That said, they serve their purpose well enough, and their big Action Scene showdowns with Kong are genuinely solid.  Indeed, the movie’s big climactic brawl between Kong and the biggest of the Skullcrawlers has a lot of good pulpy energy to it (particularly with how Kong winds up using various tools picked up from all around the battlefield to give himself an edge), likewise there’s a certain Wild Fun to the sequence where our hapless humans have to try and survive a trek through the Crawlers’ home-turf.

Where things get a bit tricky again is when the movie attempts to put its own spin on “Godzilla”’s conception of its monsters as part of their own kind of unique ancient eco-system. The sense of Grandeur that gave a lot of that aspect such weight there is mostly absent here, especially; there are instances where some of that feeling comes through (Kong’s interactions with some of the non-Crawler species, for example, do a good job giving us an endearing sense of how Kong fits into this world), but far more often it treats the monsters as Big Set-Piece Attractions.  Which is fine as far as it goes, it just also means a lot of them aren’t as memorable or impactful as I might like.  Meanwhile, the way the Iwis have built their home to accommodate, interact with, and protect themselves from the island’s bestiary feels like a well-designed concept that manages to suggest a lot of History without having to spell it out for us in a way that I appreciated (I would also be inclined to apply this to the very neat multi-layered stone-art used to portray Kong and the Crawlers except that the sequence where we see them is the most overt “let’s stop and do some world-building” exposition dump in the whole movie).  But the Iwis in general are one of the more difficult elements of the movie to process, too; it seems really clear there was a deliberate effort here to avoid the most grossly racist stuff that has been present in prior attempts to portray the Natives of Skull Island, and as far as it goes I do think those efforts bear some fruit; we are, at the very least, very far away from the Scary Ooga-Booga tone of, say, “King Kong VS. Godzilla”, and that feels like it counts for something.  I just also feel like there’s some dehumanizing touches to their portrayal (in particular they never speak; I don’t mean to imply that Not Speaking equals Inhuman, but the fact that we are not made privy to how exactly they do communicate means we’re very much kept at arm’s length from them in a way that seems at least somewhat meant to alienate us from them), especially given their role in the story as a whole is relatively minor.  

At the end of the day, though, all the movie’s elements, good and bad, don’t really feel like they add up together coherently enough to make an impact.  And I think if I had to try and guess why, even as I find it wholly enjoyable with a lot to genuinely recommend it by, I don’t find myself especially enamored by “Skull Island”.  It has a lot of different ideas of how to approach its story-70’s pastiche, worldbuilding exercise, Monster Mash-but doesn’t seem to quite succeed at realizing any of them fully, indeed often allowing them to get in each other’s ways.  It isn’t, again, a bad movie as a result of that; there really isn’t any stretch of it where I found myself bored or particularly unentertained.  But I did paradoxically find myself frequently wanting more, even as by rights the movie delivers on basically what I was looking for from it.   

[coffeebooksorme]

AURORA RISING REVIEW

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  The year is 2380, and the graduating cadets of Aurora Academy are being assigned their first missions. Star pupil Tyler Jones is ready to recruit the squad of his dreams, but his own boneheaded heroism sees him stuck with the dregs nobody else in the Academy would touch… A cocky diplomat with a black belt in sarcasm A sociopath scientist with a fondness for shooting her bunkmates A smart-ass techwiz with the galaxy’s biggest chip on his shoulder An alien warrior with anger management issues A tomboy pilot who’s totally not into him, in case you were wondering And Ty’s squad isn’t even his biggest problem—that’d be Aurora Jie-Lin O’Malley, the girl he’s just rescued from interdimensional space. Trapped in cryo-sleep for two centuries, Auri is a girl out of time and out of her depth. But she could be the catalyst that starts a war millions of years in the making, and Tyler’s squad of losers, discipline-cases and misfits might just be the last hope for the entire galaxy. They're not the heroes we deserve. They're just the ones we could find. Nobody panic.

First off, a HUGE thank you to Random House for providing me a free eARC through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review!

Aurora Rising is one of my most anticipated releases of this year. Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff blew my mind with the Illuminae Files trilogy and I’m a HUGE fan of Jay Kristoff so it was only natural for me to be excited about their new foray together.

As you can see from the synopsis of this book it’s another sci-fi novel set in space with a huge cast of characters. It’s similar to the Illuminae Files but it’s different enough that fans of that series will walk in with some familiarity but walk out gobsmacked with what Jay & Amie have done with this new world (universe?). As always, the characters are fantastically written and instantly make you love them, the world building is gorgeous and makes you clamor for more, and the plot is wonderful!

However, I found a LOT of similarities between this and the movie Serenity, which is a continuation of the Firefly series. Rag tag team of outlaws? Check. Chick in cryo? Check. Super powered girl that the government is after? Check. Super secret world that no one knows about? Check. Add in a few more elements that are spoilers for the book and you’ve got yourself a literary version of Serenity. Am I complaining? Hell no! 

There’s a lot of nods to previous avenues of sci-fi. If you’re a fan or even a casual follower, you will notice nods to Starship Troopers, Star Trek: New Generation, and Red Dwarf. You will even notice little wink wink nudge nudge nods to The Princess Bride, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Aladdin. Not to mention the 80′s classic The Breakfast Club, which I think heavily influenced the character cast. These are the only nods that I caught, but knowing how much Jay & Amie like to toss them into their work, I can only imagine how many more there are that I didn’t catch. 

As always, Jay & Amie provided their own spin on it and really allowed the novel to soar on it’s own. What really stands out is the cast of characters. Tyler, the Alpha; Scarlett, the Face; Cat, the Ace; Finian, the Gearhead; Kal, the Tank; Zila, the Science; and finally, the namesake for the book, Aurora, our fish out of water. Each character gets their own POV (I KNOW, IT’S A LOT), though Zila only really shows up a small handful of times, and you will grow to love each and every one of them throughout this adventure. Characters are really the bread and butter for Jay & Amie’s novels, I think, because they write such good interactions, dialogue, and growth for their characters.

Personally, I loved Finian, Kal, and Magellan, a smart mouthed AI on a tablet who’s basically next gen Alexa, the most. Aurora, in my opinion, wasn’t really fleshed out as much as she could have been. To me, she seemed more like the typical YA trope of ‘super special YA heroine’ but I know that Jay & Amie have more in store for her so I’m reserving judgement for now. Zila, a black character who I think is on the Autism spectrum but wasn’t confirmed in story, didn’t really get a lot of her own POV in book, but I really did enjoy what we got from her. Magellan was fantastic and I really think it speaks volumes for Jay & Amie as authors that they can make you care so much for an AI character.

There was a hint of romance in this story but it was really a blip in the storyline. It kinda reminded me a little bit of the whole Twilight imprinting thing BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY, I PROMISE! The pairing shocked the heck out of me considering the most commonly used YA trope is that the first guy our heroine sees is usually her HEA. Not to mention, the two characters don’t even get together in this book. There’s literally no relationship execution in this book, but a promise of what could happen and I honestly really enjoyed that addition. 

The plot itself, as I said, wasn’t too original. It’s something we’ve seen before and flew so closely to Serenity that I wasn’t all that surprised with how things turned out. If you watch that movie and then read this book you’ll see a lot of comparisons between the two that will sorta kinda make you expect things to happen in the book and then not be surprised when they do happen. The pacing was really well done. There were enough lull moments that when the action hit I flew through it with a lot of anticipation and worry. The ending, as usual, ended with a loud bang and left me severely wanting more.

All in all, this book is a wonderful add on to the YA sci-fi genre and I am so glad I got to read it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m definitely jonesing for some more from this squad!

[douxreviews]

Cloak & Dagger - ‘Shadow Selves’ Review

"What if I just want to hurt people?"

Well, this one certain gives us a few things to unpack.

Cloak and Dagger catches up with some supporting characters, while bringing us up to speed on what Mayhem has been up to since last season's finale. Oh, and gives us a mediation on the essential nature of self, as you do.

The 'shadow self,' according to Jungian philosophy, are those parts of one's personality that you reject or choose to not know about. That's a horrific oversimplification, and I apologize to any psychology students who might be reading this. It's not really my field. I had to google just to confirm that much.

Most obviously this is a reference to Brigid and Mayhem, implying that Mayhem is that shadow self that Brigid has always had inside of her, neatly separated off into its own body. I believe there was a Star Trek episode where something similar happened to Kirk, but it was a little less... let's be polite and say 'nuanced,' than what we get here.

Actually, the Star Trek comparison is useful here, particularly when compared to the explanation that Mina gives us in this episode. Since I'm going to actually talk about it, I've felt obligated to look up what it was called, and it's 'The Enemy Within,' for anyone wondering who didn't already know. Additional apologies to Star Trek fans for the oversimplification I'm about to launch into. Fans of both Jung and original series Trek, please contact me directly and I'll send you an apology fruit basket or something.

In 'Enemy Within,' Kirk is split into 'good Kirk' and 'evil Kirk,' and the point is very much that even good people have bad stuff in them and it's a character study of who Kirk is as a complete character. That being the purpose of the experiment, one Kirk is very definitely 'good,' and the other definitely 'evil.' In 'Shadow Selves,' Mina describes the process that's been splitting her test mice into two, and therefore by proxy what's happened to Brigid, as resulting in one version of the self with no activity in the brain's rage center, and the other version having activity only in the rage center. Your basic Hulk scenario.

But neither of those descriptions fit what we actually see of Mayhem's character this week.

Mayhem isn't full of rage, particularly. She's task-oriented and happy to kill people she views as 'bad,' but that's not at all the same thing. If anything, Mayhem is a much better cop than Brigid. Sure, her first instinct is to track down and kill her other half, but she gets distracted almost immediately by wanting revenge on the guy she was already looking to get revenge on before the personality split, and then never shows an inclination to kill Brigid again, despite the half a dozen times this episode alone in which she could have done so.

Great job to the showrunners for the Mayhem backstory we get tonight, and the way it pulls a lot of the pieces of this season's plot together. Mayhem starts with wanting revenge on Connors, isn't able to find him, and then decides that since she wants to kill people anyway she should focus on finding bad people to kill, becoming Dexter with Day-glo fingernail polish. Plus, she's clearly capable of being thoughtful and kind, as shown in her comment about Ty being her friend. It was nice that Delgado gives her the advice that pushes her in the direction of punishing the guilty, by the way. Put a pin in Delgado, we'll circle back to him in a minute, but there's one last point about Mayhem that I want to touch on before we move on.

This show is one of the rare examples in which every single change they've made to the source material has made the show stronger. The exception, as I've said before, being not having Ty stutter, but that's more of a practical consideration, so we'll let that slide. In the comics, Mayhem is essentially what you'd get if Toxic Avenger and the Punisher made a beautiful love child, but having Mayhem and Brigid be two separate beings who share Brigid's memories and thought processes was a brilliant move and is really paying off for them. The way that Mayhem clearly wants Tandy to side with her and be her partner on the investigation is just one aspect of the overall impression that what Mayhem really wants is to prove that she's better than Brigid, and that's fascinating. I can't wait to see where this is going.

But Brigid isn't the only one whose darker side has come to the fore here, and now we get back to Formerly-Father Delgado. Wow, was I not prepared for how dark they went with Delgado. I questioned last season why they threw in such a randomly dark note as the reveal that Delgado had killed a kid while driving drunk, but now I think they were just preparing us for this next stage in his character development. I don't have a ton to say about drunk street preaching nihilist Delgado except that I'm impressed that they went there, and it was nicely handled how he factored into Mayhem's evolution from seeking vengeance to becoming an actually effective rescuer of human trafficking victims. That was not where I saw any of that going.

And last but not least, Ty and Tandy continue their promised power-up. Tandy's ball of light which lit up the whole warehouse was cool looking, but my inner fangirl nearly passed out with joy when Ty finally unveiled his full body of darkness effect and then we got to witness firsthand someone inside the dark realm of his cloak being tormented by visions. Now all I need to die happy is for Tandy to ride 'inside' him to crime scenes and leap out throwing light knives.

Bits and Pieces:

-- The debate between Ty and Tandy as to whether they should just step back and let Mayhem kill the human traffickers had valid points all around. Generally speaking, I'd put myself on team 'yes, please murder the human traffickers' but Ty's concerns about the victims being collateral damage was fair. That said, I did not feel bad when Mayhem ran that one over with a truck.

-- Mayhem climbed out of the lake 242 days earlier, so Evita's statement last week that it had been eight months was more or less on the nose.

-- The extremely mini story-arc of Dale, the skeezy desk clerk at the transient hotel, was a thing of beauty. From creeping on Mayhem, to backing away, to the obedient puddle he'd become by the time Brigid came to find the hotel was just perfection. This show really does understated very well.

-- Haven't we all wanted to beat up a refrigerator?

-- Oh Mina Hess, I'm so glad that you're OK. Mina has apparently now added microbiolical bio-chemistry and behavioral research fellow to her already impressive track list of Structural Engineer, Thermodynamics expert, plumber, renewable energy expert, and about twelve other unrelated specialties. At this point I think it's best to view Mina like Reed Richards, i.e. all purpose science-y person who knows all the science-y stuff when it's needed. Plus just maybe she'll encourage a few more girls to pursue STEM careers, and that's a good enough goal in its own right.

-- Today I learned that SRO stands for 'single room occupancy,' a type of hotel that in a less dignified age I would have referred to as a flophouse.

-- Tandy mentions in passing that she and Mina have kept in touch. I feel like we were cheated out of a few highly entertaining explanation scenes.

-- Special shout out to Emma Lahana for the physical work she's doing to differentiate Brigid and Mayhem. Mayhem moves in a very distinctive shoulder forward way, which is very different from how Brigid walks. It's a nice, subtle detail, and should be praised.

-- Apparently I was overcomplicating the kidnapped girl plot last week. They seem to just be human traffickers who panicked and let Mikayla go because Ty had suddenly appeared in their ambulance so they had to cover their tracks. I kind of appreciate the show letting me work that out for myself.

-- 'The Glitter Gutter' is a great name for a strip club.

Quotes:

Mina: "Don’t worry, these cosmetics were tested on humans."

Brigid: "She’s not me." Tandy: "She’s got your face and she’s got your badge."

Dale: "No one went in your room. I didn’t mean to make eye contact, I’m sorry."

Tandy: "What is this?" Brigid: "This is Mayhem."

Mayhem: "And in another lifetime, Ty was a friend. At least he was to me, I don’t know if he’d say the same."

Tandy: "Hey Ty, look. Ya got a deranged map twin."

Mayhem: "You don’t get to play the victim. (Slashes his throat) Well, now I suppose you can."

Fuchs: "Who’s up for Awkward reunion pancakes?"

Lots of good stuff here, with only a couple of awkward plot contrivances to really criticize. For example, it's a little hard to swallow that Brigid being pulled from the lake would make breaking citywide news under those circumstances. Still, if that's the show's biggest sin, my shadow self is happy.

Three and a half out of four shadow dimensions.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[janethepegasus]

So i saw Matpat’s latest video about shared universes (starting with Doom and somehow connecting it with Kingdom Hearts) and my crazy brain thought it would be a good idea to expand it even FURTHER all because he used Spider-Man to connect to Thanos in Fortnite (yes seriously)

So behold, all the shit i had to go through to make connections to everything i can find and think of

So since all Spider-Mans are in one multiverse, that means all versions of Spider-Man are canon, so let's look at two cases of alternate Spider-Mans. Theres the Japanese Spider-Man, which was created by Toei as a collab by Marvel, Toei also created Super Sentai, which has connections to Kamen Rider (Super Hero Taisen), Metal Hero (some crossover movies), and obviously Power Rangers. Power Rangers had a crossover with TMNT, which has connections to not only other versions of TMNT but also other series like Batman (basically the whole DC universe is involved), Archie, X-Files, Ghostbusters, Rabbids (they were an extra character in a fighting game, as like a promotion for the new game), and all the toons that showed up in Cartoon All-Stars, like the Smurfs, Alf, Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Winnie the Pooh (which is already tying back up to Kingdom Hearts), Muppet Babies, Looney Toons, and Ducktales.

Now Muppet Babies is part of the Muppet franchise, the Muppets are connected to Sesame Street, which opens up a can of worms for connections. Some characters cameoed in Between the Lions, Mr Rogers' Neighbor Hood, The Electric Company, Reading Rainbow, Poky Little Puppy, and a bunch of these characters appeared in a We are Family music video, which has *inhales* Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney, Arthur, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Rugrats, The Magic School Bus, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer, Blue's Room, Blue's Clues, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Kim Possible, The Proud Family, LazyTown, Lilo & Stitch: the Series, Madeline,Little Bill, The Fairly OddParents, Zoom, AND a whole bunch more shows.

Obviously Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Parents had a crossover (three in fact), but those other shows had crossovers too, like Rugrats having a crossover with Wild Thornberrys, Lilo and Stitch had crossovers too, they had crossovers with The Proud Family, Kim Possible, Recess, and American Dragon Jake Long. Spongebob is connected to a lot of Nicktoons shows through the bumpers on the channel and had a major crossovers with Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, Jimmy Neutron, Tak, and Invader Zim in the Nicktoons Unite games.

Looney Toons is connected to all other Hanna Barbera property, which had crossovers as well (look at Scooby Doo and Tom and Jerry, they're LOADED with crossovers with other series), as for the Looney Toons cast themselves, examples include Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Pokemon (in a commercial in Kids WB), The Justice League, Wild Kratts (Kinda? The two characters, Road Runner and Wild E. Coyote, were pretty much referenced as a way to say that real life coyotes can catch up to road runners), and The Amazing World of Gumball. And Pokemon had a crossover game with Nobunaga's Ambition called Pokemon Conquest. AND Ducktales is connected to Darkwing Duck and the same goes with the reboot.

Okay now back to where we started, Power Rangers had a crossover episode with Masked Rider, which is an adaptation of Kamen Rider Black RX, Kamen Rider had a FEW crossovers with other series, like Crayon Shin-chan, Pac-Man, Osomatsu-San, Hello Kitty, Pretty Cure, and a few others. Pretty Cure only had crossovers with itself but there is one pic floating around the internet showing one of the Cures standing in front of Arresterdramon Superior Mode, so it might hint to a commercial happening during that time. Hello Kitty has a ton of crossovers with different series, such as Sonic, Cookie Run, Pac-Man, Puzzles and Dragons, Doraemon, Yokai Watch, and several others. In Osomatsu-San Hesokuri Wars, they have costumes/sets of the six brothers being yokai, magical girls, monsters, angels, knights, super heroes, greek

gods, and others. Yokai is also connected to Yokai Watch, which has it's own crossovers with other series, like Final Fantasy, Terminator, Inazuma Eleven (which had commercials that crossed over with Despicable Me), The Seven Deadly Sins, Detective Conan, Hello Kitty (which brings this back to Hello Kitty and its crossovers), Inuyasha, Professor Layton, and several others. Professor Layton had a crossover game with Ace Attorney, which has many references and a small amount of crossovers.

Now let's move on to another Spider-Man, the one from Ultimate Spider-Man, obviously he's connected to the other Marvel shows that take place in that universe, but Spider-Man had crossover episodes/specials with Phineas and Ferb and Jessie, Jessie having connections with other Disney Sit-com shows like Austin and Ally, Good Luck Charlie, Liv and Maddie, and a few others, HOWEVER Mr. Moseby from the Suite Life of Zach and Cody appeared in one episode, which means that Jessie is in the same universe as That's So Raven, Hannah Montanna, Cory in the House (yeah yeah yeah, i can hear the anime memes from a mile away -_-), and Wizards of the Waverly Place. Phineas and Ferb also had crossover specials/episodes with Star Wars and Milo Murphy's Law, Star Wars has many crossovers and references in other shows, like the Muppets, Seasame Street, Captain N, Mario (in that old Mario cartoon episode where they parodied it), Putt-Putt, Megaman, Duke Nukem, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Dragon Ball, Transformers, Metal Gear, Angry Birds, Lego, Club Penguin, and several others.

The Star Wars references were in Megaman V and Megaman Zero, sprites from Megaman Zero were used to create sprites of TV Tome Adventures, which then became TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise and then it turned into the video game version of that show, the creator of the show, Kirbopher, did an animation related to Super Mario RPG, and had many voice roles like in Mob Psycho 100, Pokemon, and other series. Dragon Ball is the prequel of Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball Z Super made it clear that there's other universes so all of those are connected as well, and Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z had crossovers with other shows like One Piece, Dr Slump, Astro Boy, Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo, and a few others. Metal Gear had crossovers and references in Terminator, Gundam, Castlevania, Mario, Zelda, Ape Escape, Yugioh (which connects itself to the other seasons like GX, 5D's, Zexal, Arc-V, and Vrains), Monster Rancher, Yoshi, The Standley Parable (only in the demo), and several others. Transformers, since it's made by Hasbro, is also connected to other Hasbro property, such as My Little Pony (and Equestria Girls), and they had references to other series in both the show and in the IDW comics, like pony versions of Rick and Morty appearing in one episode, pony versions of characters from Sailor Moon, Gravity

Falls, Kill La Kill, Scooby Doo, Powerpuff Girls, Frozen, and few other shows and even pony versions of IRL people like Gordon Ramsey. Transformers had crossovers and references to other series as well such as G.I Joe, Doctor Who, Spider Man, Star Wars, Marvel, and several other shows, and apparently Jem, Inhumanoids, C.O.P.S, and Robotix takes place in the Transformers universe.

Angry Birds had crossovers with other series like Rio, Star Wars, Puzzles and Dragons, Transformers, Sonic, The Muppets, and many levels in their games make references to other series. Lego Dimensions is full of crossovers, like The A-Team, Adventure Time, Back to the Future, Beetlejuice, DC Comics, Doctor Who, E.T, Fantastic Beasts, Ghostbusters (both the original and the 2016 reboot), The Goonies, Gremlins, Harry Potter, Jurassic World, Knight Rider, Legends of Chima, other Lego property, Lord of the Rings, Midway Arcade, Mission: Impossible, Portal, Powerpuff Girls, Scooby-Doo, Simpsons, Sonic, Teen Titans Go!, and The Wizard of Oz. Speaking of The Simpsons, they had crossovers with other shows like Family Guy and Futurama, AND they cameoed appeared in South Park, and Family Guy is in the same universe as American Dad and The Cleveland Show. The Simpsons also had crossovers with The Critic, X-Files, King of the Hill, Robot Chicken, Bob's Burgers (which means it's also connected to the Archer Show), Rick and Morty, and several series get mentioned in the show itself. As for Sonic, he had a crossover comic series with Megaman, he had crossovers in the comics with Sabrina the Teenage Witch and DC (it was part of a Sonic Super Special comic but for some reason the Wikis won't tell me if it's generally DC or some part of it >:/ ), Sonic had levels in Sonic Lost World that were crossovers with NiGHTS, Legend of Zelda, and Yoshi's Wooly World, in Sonic Forces, there's DLC costumes that are based off of NiGHTS, Beat from Jet Set Radio, AiAi from Super Monkey Ball, and Joker from Persona 5. Sonic had crossover games with other SEGA series, but in Sonic Dash, they had events that had crossovers with Angry Birds, Hello Kitty, and Pac-Man. In one of the Vocaloid games, Miku had a costume that was a Sonic hoodie, to celebrate Sonic's anniversary, Vocaloid made many songs and some of these songs branch out into their own series, one of them being Black Rock Shooter, and i swear BRS was a guest character in some fighting game but i don't remember what the name was.

Okay, now let's head back to Marvel, one of the characters that's paired up with Spider-Man (except for the Movie universe) is Deadpool, and in one comic, he takes a girl to see Hamilton. In one of the Hamildrops, they did a crossover song which was a mix of Story of Tonight and You'll be Found from Dear Evan Hansen called "Found Tonight", one of the actors from Dear Evan Hansen is now playing the role of Jeremy in Be More Chill, and in the original 2015 performance of BMC, the actor who played Jenna also played Martha in Heathers, and Eric William Morris, who played Squip, also played Jordan in The Ballad of Little Jo. And since we're using actors to connect series...*inhales* Lin Manuel Miranda (who plays Alexander in Hamilton) also had roles in In The Heights, 21 Chump Street, Mary Poppins Returns, Ducktales Reboot, Do No Harm, Looking for Maria Sanchez, Sesame Street, House M.D, and a few others. Mary Poppins Returns is a sequel to the original Mary Poppins so they instantly connect, and i'm gonna make a crazy theory of House M.D taking place in the same city (or state) as Blue Bloods and Forever, both shows have characters played by Eric William Morris, who had roles in Trust, Greed, Bullets, and Bourbon, Royal Pains, As The World Turns, and few other small roles. But one of his current roles is Carl from King Kong Broadway, which is based off of King Kong, and King Kong had a crossover film with Godzilla, and there's a short film that had Ultraman and Kamen Rider (i think it was Godzilla?? It was a giant lizard thing :/). However, King Kong was the inspiration behind Donkey Kong, which now has connections to both Mario and Donkey Kong series. Donkey Kong had crossovers/references with Frogger, Pitfall, Qubert, Mickey (from Disney), Punch Out, Mother, Earthworm Jim, Kirby, Crash Bandicoot, Banjo Kazooie, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Scott Pilgrim, The Fast and the Furious, Class of 3000, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, Big Bang Theory, Metroid, Pushmo, Minecraft, Gravity Falls, Wreck It Ralph, Pixels, Skylanders, several others, and had japanese exclusive songs in Donkey Konga that had songs from Super Sentai, Pretty Cure, Pikmin, Naruto, Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo, Fullmetal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z, Star Fox, Fire Emblem, Kid Icarus, Ice Climbers, and several others.

Minecraft had a Super Mario texture pack in the Switch version of Minecraft, plus a Steven Universe texture pack as well, there are console exclusive skins based off of characters from Gears of War, Halo, Banjo-Kazooie, Dust, Tony Hawk, Left 4 Dead, Boarderlands, Conker, Half-Life, Portal, Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, and several other shows. Steve from Minecraft can be an unlockable character in games like Super Meat Boy, Choplifter, Retro City Rampage, and Creepers can be found in Blocks that Matter, Boarderlands, Torchlight, and Minecraft is refernced in Adventure Time, Octodad, The Stanley Parable, Skyrim, and South Park. And since Minecraft has Halo skins, this ties into Red VS Blue, a show that uses assets from the Halo series. And Red VS Blue appeared in a promotional video alongside the main cast of RWBY. Mother (or Earthbound) is the inspiration for Undertale, which had a sequel called Deltarune, and in one of the locations in Deltarune is a place called "Ice-E's Pezza", and Burgerpants mentions a guy named "Purple Guy" which is a reference to Purple Guy from Five Nights at Freddies. Crash Bandicoot had two crossover games with Spyro the Dragon and had references in Uncharted, Futurama, Johnny Test, Family Guy, Jimmy Neutron, The Country Bears, Jak and Daxter, Friends, The Simpsons, Tomb Raider, and several others. And Mickey is one of the characters in Kingdom Hearts, so now we come in full circle with Matpat's theory.

So started with Spider-man (well two versions of Spider-man) and ended it with Mickey, i'm sure there's other series out there that i forgot to bring up but eh, this is long enough :/

[gwensanotherdimension]

Not Legit Movie Reviews

After a 6 month hiatus I have returned with a relevant movie review! This one was fun to write so I hope you enjoy!

Before you continue reading, if you haven’t seen the movie, I spoil the ending and describe some scenes in detail. This review also works if you’re familiar with the first Phineas and Ferb movie; Across the 2nd Dimension. I would also like to preface this as I know my sister is going to read this, a lot of these thoughts and ideas were discussed together, so a lot of these opinions are influenced by her opinion as well, but luckily, we came to the same conclusion about this movie. 

This movie was heavily anticipated as the Phineas and Ferb series ended in 2015, which was a long 5 years ago. I have always liked this show, the characters were all enjoyable, the songs were extremely catchy and the plot was always engaging. 

As a kid, it hit all the benchmarks for what made a kid’s show great. Only when I wrote my own episode with my sister for a school assignment, did I realize that there was so much hard-work and effort put into the show to make it the spectacular show that it is. The genius’ behind the show; Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh are an extremely talented and creative duo who had previously worked on The Simpsons and Rocko’s Modern Life together; they write a majority of the episodes as well as the songs themselves which are extremely impressive as they’re in almost every single episode. As the impressive song-writers that they are, they are masters at making the songs original and catchy - multiple generations know what an aglet is because of this show, I don’t know what else to say other than the songs are absolute bangers. 

But let’s not waste anytime, Candace against the Universe was not their best. I’m just going to say it right now. The plot wasn’t the strongest in terms of story and twist. It was predictable and simply not as interesting as regular episodes or Across the 2nd Dimension which I will compare heavily to this movie. My sister and I had a long discussion about how it was similar to the Mission Marvel special where the content had potential but it missed the original charm and wit that the episodes have. This movie could have easily been condensed into a two parter, or just under forty-five minutes. The plot of Across the 2nd dimension was so strong and was executed so perfectly; a quick summary: Phineas and Ferb help Doofenshmirtz build an ‘inator’ to another dimension but Perry is stuck between exposing himself as a secret agent to the boys or allowing them to help Doofenshmirtz take over the Tri-State area. He ends up doing both which carries the rest of the story to meet their alternate-dimension selves and then finally comes together at the end in a massive battle where alternate-dimension attempts to conquer yet another Tri-State area (the one that we’re familiar with).  

I felt like the problem with Candace against the Universe, the ending was very anti-climatic. It ends in a short battle which felt lacking compared to the final battle in Across the 2nd dimension. My sister and I absolutely love how in the end of AT2D, it was revealed that Perry had been collecting their inventions throughout the summer and had been saving them for an ‘Alpha-level’ threat. It’s a thrilling pay-off for audiences to see that all of their incredible inventions haven’t gone to waste after a single use - they have a second purpose - which is to fight evil. In Candace against the Universe, it followed a very basic plot structure, Candace is captured by an alien species in space, they give her what she’s looking for which is individuality and validation, the boys ‘save’ her but then Candace kicks them to the curb, the true intentions of the alien leader are revealed and it’s a race to save Candace and the rest of the humans on earth. What made the ending in AT2D so satisfying was seeing all of the inventions come back, obviously they couldn’t do that again in this movie but I felt like there could’ve been a better ending to it. 

Within the first ten minutes of Candace against the Universe, we’re introduced to Doofenshmirtz’s newest invention. ‘A power-vacuum-inator.’ a machine that turns things into lint and then vacuums it away. A pretty hilarious contraption which isn’t far away from the other inventions that he’s made before but later, we’re introduced to another invention, the ‘Chicken-replace-inator’ which swaps things with the closest chicken; pretty self-explanatory but it proves itself handy later. What my sister and I found as a ‘cop-out’ was how easy they made it so that Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa could return to earth. When the Mama plant is preparing to take over Danville, a simple blast from the ‘Chicken-replace-inator’ zaps it away and the cast breaks out into a final song. But before I continue, let’s talk about Vanessa’s purpose to the plot. 

A huge drawn-in point to the movie was Candace and Vanessa as a duo. In the episodes it was exciting to see them come together and interact because they’re connecting the plot line of Phineas and Ferb to the plot line of Doofenshmirtz and Perry which is pretty high stakes since Perry can’t reveal to his host-family that he’s a spy. But, early on into the movie, Candace and Vanessa get split up and we don’t see them together again until the very end of this movie. Before Doofenshmirtz reunites with Vanessa, he uses the ‘Chicken-replace-inator’ to zap away a large dragon-monster creature, replacing it with the closest chicken, which is on earth; so there’s now a chicken on the alien planet. Unfortunately for them, when Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa and Perry (who were left behind by the others) want to return to earth they attempt to use the ‘Chicken-replace-inator’ on themselves but, if you remember from before, the closest chicken is now the chicken on the alien planet. So the ‘cop-out’ of the inator is that Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa and Perry simply change the settings of the inator to swap places with the furthest chicken instead of the closest. And, anti-climatically use the inator to blast and switch the Mama plant with the furthest chicken (the one back on the alien plant). Which got me thinking, that was a pretty lazy ending, it was anti-climatic and just an easy way out. They already had a “battle” with Candace shooting free t-shirts at the minions so they needed to get rid of the plant quickly. 

I thought it over in the shower, what would’ve made for a similar ending to AT2D? Where they would use Chekhov’s gun and make use of everything that was introduced in the movie. If they had defeated the Mama plant with the vacuum, it would’ve given the movie an extra ten minute action scene; where Baljeet has his ‘a-ha!’ moment and finally his knowledge of Space Adventures doesn’t fail him or Phineas takes the spotlight (when the boys are hurtling towards the ground and Phineas uses something he saw in Space Adventures to save them) Baljeet could reference an episode were they created an air-vacuum to deprive something of all air, drying it out and killing it; tying the end to the beginning. I understand they decided to use the ‘Chicken-replace-inator’ because they spent so much time on it but as I was saying before, it just wasn’t satisfying. It was already pretty silly and made just for the sake of being a joke but I felt it would’ve been better suited to use the Power-Vacuum-inator. 

Which brings me to my next point, the running gags. When Phineas and Ferb pull the crew together to go to space, Baljeet introduces Space Adventure - an adventure in space - which is reminiscent of Star Trek and referenced in an older episode (Nerds of a Feather) Throughout the movie, Baljeet attempts to help navigate alien territory with his knowledge of Space Adventure but it backfires on him every time. However, when they’re hurtling back to Earth, Phineas references Space Adventure and saves them, essentially taking Baljeet’s running gag from under his feet which didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t come to a satisfying conclusion. Again, I understand not everything has to come full circle but this should’ve. Same with Buford’s running gag, when they’re packing for space, Buford brings aboard a canoe, everyone but Buford can agree that there’s absolutely no use for a canoe in space; so it’s ‘funny’ that Buford is dead-set on carrying around a massive canoe into space and back. But the conclusion that he gets is that it gets strapped to a golf cart and swings into the aliens, knocking them out.  

Finally, there’s a relationship that wasn’t fully developed but still happened that bothers me. When the crew crash land on the alien planet, there’s discourse between Isabella and Doofenshmirtz on who should ‘lead’ the group to the fortress that Candace is most likely held in. Isabella supports her claim as leader since she’s a girl scout and has patches proving her worthy as a leader but Doofenshmirtz is the adult so naturally, he should be leader. My complaint is that there is absolutely no development between Isabella and Doofenshmirtz but yet, a mere twenty minutes later Doofenshmirtz believes that Isabella is a deserving leader and saying that he “learnt from the best” yet there is no example of Isabella being the natural leader that she is. 

Moving away from my problems with the plot, I felt that the jokes and gags in the movie weren’t as hilarious as other jokes in episodes or AT2D. I read a review from Variety and Polygon which had high praise for the movie, which includes “ jokes about support groups, power ballads, Cubism, talk-show obsequiousness, plus a very funny song called “Adulting,” about how adults justify their judgment with no good reason.” (Variety) and “The movie is still chock full of bubbly humor. The show excelled at comedic timing, effectively using beats, cutaway gags, and fourth-wall breaking.” And while I agree with the second half, the movie missed some of the benchmarks of Phineas and Ferb-level humour. The jokes in the movie were uncomfortably off-beat and repetitive, heavily relying on comedic timing and dead air for audiences to laugh. The comedic timing was unsuccessful and dare I say, too long and too often. The jokes couldn’t have been more obvious, they were pretty much lit up with fireworks and a huge neon sign that said “You should laugh here! This is a joke that is funny and you can laugh here! That’s what this awkward empty space is for.” After a brief scan of AT2D there were jokes that didn’t feel forced or obviously meant for certain audiences - like one of the aliens ‘flossing’ which feels a little outdated even for 2020. 

As mentioned earlier, after writing my own Phineas and Ferb script I have a much larger appreciation for the work put into a single episode. Povenmire and Marsh out-do themselves with each episode and it’s impressive; I admire their work so much. Now, I don’t know if it’s because I went into the mindset of knowing what makes Phineas and Ferb great, this movie felt lacking in the original appeal that the episodes had. The characters didn’t have the depth they usually had, the songs weren’t as catchy, the jokes weren’t as funny and the plot wasn’t as strong. It felt rushed; and I don’t know if they were but there could’ve been so much more depth and (irony not included) dimension. 

I have the same opinion with Frozen 2, it felt rushed so there wasn’t as much depth as the first movie. And, they were rushed with the movie; in the docu-series Into the Unknown: The making of Frozen 2, so many elements in the final movie were added within the last nine months of production. The story was rewritten multiple times when the writers and directors had trouble deciding who Elsa was hearing calling out to her. They just had to choose at that point which made the story feel rushed and bunched. It’s like rolling up a yoga mat, you start off neat and even but when you get near the end and your friends have already packed up, you haphazardly roll up the mat, so now it’s pointed at one end and looks like an ice cream cone. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still watched the entire thing and there was one scene at the end that I enjoyed but it just didn’t live up to my expectations. And that’s totally okay; it was appealing to their target audience and hit all the notes of a Phineas and Ferb movie. It’s simply that I had my expectations extremely high. 

I give Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Candace Against the Universe 5.5 Stars out of 10 

[ehyeh-joshua]

Apart from demonstrating why I have no pictures for the various races in Far Earth, my drawing capabilities are terrible, what these are meant to represent are some of the races.

The first is a Nemosian; notably, a young adult, given it is still bipedal, as they grow they have to drop to quadrupedal motion. Obviously, it’s a dragon, but they are also the most technologically advanced race, very far into “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” type potential. All the crazy sci-fi stuff - Dyson Spheres, Ringworlds, artificial planets, craft-worlds, going fast enough to traverse between galaxies, constructing stable artificial elements, artificial wormholes, all those elements that cross fanatasy with sci-fi - they get to do. And why not? Give the sentient dragons the space-tech; if “magical” super-powerful Dragons are great, then “magical” super-powerful Dragons in Space is even better.

Next to it is the Compharian, the smallest organic sentient/sapient race in Far Earth, and my own personal favourite. (it was easier to fit it in the space below) They are an artificially designed species, designed by the Precursors (Nemosian heretics, basically) as slavelings, but ultimately were freed to choose their own path. (one of the core principles in Far Earth is Mewtwo’s quote; "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." The Compharians are by no means the only example, but they are the main exploration of free will, to choose to be more than what they were created to be)

Next to that is a Terminator. Well, to be more accurate, it is a thought-for-thought translation rather than a name. Sentient/sapient weapon-systems built by the Nemosians to fight the Precursors in the first (of three) galaxy-wide wars, but unlike the Nemosians who were believed to be all destroyed, some Terminators survived, and they tried to carry on the will, and instructions to, their creators; “guide the younger races”. Insurrection, a Terminator, is pretty much the closest to a protagonist the Far Earth series as a whole has.

Then a Human, which all the others are scaled relative to. Humans don’t really feature much in Far Earth - in the Legends Era (set on Pre-Flood Earth) they are the Elves of the setting, of both High and Dark varieties (High Humans worshipping God, Dark Humans worshipping satan/the Precursors, who create the Nephilim by genetic engineering of Dark Humans ultimately leading to the Flood) while in later eras, they are involved for Fallen Star even if that book is mainly about Insurrection’s time on mid-late 20th century Earth, and they are involved briefly in the Modern-Era from 2055 to 2239, at which time all Humans are recalled back to Earth by Messengers because for complicated mathematical reasons I don’t have time to go into, 2239 is the year Jesus returns to set up the Messianic Kingdom. A few Off-Worlders do stay in the wider galaxy, but only very few; by 2431, the end of Terminorum III, which is the last novel chronologically, there is only one human left outside Earth; a Scot called Duncan, who is Insurrection’s chief engineer. Effectively, the Human situation is we go to the stars, and we find the galaxy is already very developed; nearly all the good planets got colonised hundreds of years ago, so we make do with what we can get. It isn’t a grim-dark future, but it also isn’t an easy one.

Then, the Lycanryth, which is fairly obviously a Werewolf-shaped thing. (and definitely not a werewolf; that implies transformation, whereas the Lycanryth are their own thing) Although, now that I am looking it up, apparently traditionally Lycans are not quite the same thing as werewolves... To go alongside them, but are not depicted here, there’s also the Estwari, which is the same sort of thing - bipedal, human -sized - but for cats instead of dogs, and the Cygnar, which are the same principle but for Penguins. (the link between them is the TY toys, which me and my brother played games with, and those are the source material, even if I am revising it a lot now)

Next is a SAAR unit (Situationally Autonomous Adaptive Research) in a tripodal configuration. Take the logical conclusion of the Exocomp from Star Trek TNG “The Quality Of Life” and add several centuries of independent development. I find them one of the more interesting concepts to write - every SAAR unit is unique, as they adapt themselves to suit the situations they face, a bit like a Swiss-Army Knife but sentient, with the ability to form wireless networks, known as a matrix to each other. Like telepathy. On their homeworld, they share “the” Matrix, where all SAAR are connected. With the SAAR, the main theme is exploring what is the boundary between synthetic life and biological life, and because unlike Terminators they can die naturally, what happens to them after death? Another area of curiosity they have is the SAAR have integrated into themselves the behaviour of marrying “male” and “female” units, in what is probably the only viable usage of designer babies and genuinely artificial gender roles. (as the two SAAR units design their “children” before the “female” builds them) They make fascinating thinking material, and the best part is they are the only evolved lifeform in Far Earth; the Terminators and Compharians, the other artificially created races, were both designed at their present existence, and all the other younger races were created on Day 6 on Earth, then sent out with the Nemosians (created on Day 5; they are Tannim after all)  to their respective worlds.

After that is one of the most original races, the Ralitian, specifically the female - what the SAAR and Ralitians have in common is they are both kind of twists on the standard. Apart from these two, all the races capable of reproduction (the Terminators can’t, they have to be built) rely on male and female marriage relationships, with varying importance on the role of community in child development. The Ralitians however, have reproduction still being based on male/female interaction, but it is entirely separate from relationships; females only meet males to have the eggs fertilised, then the tadpoles leave the mother’s body and the mother goes back to her duties, while the tadpoles mature into the orange humanoid/pterosaur adult females, or, extremely rarely, once in a generation rare, the immense and extremely well guarded males, who barely number 1 per planet in the Khanumate.

Next is the Meko’Nass - imagine a giant sloth,with very, very thick hair to support living on a planet slightly warmer than Hoth, with very strong views in support of Egalitarianism and Democracy. (as working together made them able to build their civilisation in the endless ice and equatorial tundra that defines their world)

After that the Autanden. Minotaur-based in appearance, with some of the strongest scientific capabilities of the younger races; developers of the original state of the SAAR Matrix (the unit depicted above is a member of the fourth iteration) and developers of the younger race’s faster than light technology, but ecological collapse of their world forced them to abandon the fledgling pre-sentient/sapient SAAR to the tests they had set up to try to stave off collapse, and when those efforts failed, the Autanden turned on themselves in a planet wide civil war fighting over what little remained.

Finally, is the only ocean planet-dwelling sentient/sapient in Far Earth. Great white shark with the arms and legs of a therapod. (rule of cool more than anything else; at least there is justifiable reasoning to make the Nemosians) When I played SPORE - I stopped because EA’s terms of use say they control the IP of whatever you make, and while that has no chance of standing up in a court of law, good luck going against EA’s lawyers - I had the idea for a land-shark, and the Charcharans are what that grew into.

I have got another twenty races defined to some extent, but ten is enough for a teaser.

[falkenscreen]

Star Trek: Discovery Shows Everyone How It's Done

In months past Game of Thrones had a series-long finale and 22 blockbusters culminated in Endgame. Amidst it all, Star Trek: Discovery, only in it’s second season, showed everyone how it’s done.

Universe-halting storylines are a dime a dozen since Marvel and Doctor Who dictated that for a showdown to be meaningful all life as we know it apparently has to, more than once in a while, hang in the balance. Discovery, playing the card for the first time, actually gave us a circumstance where it felt believable and relatable; leveraging ever-present musings on the detractions and self-preservation tendencies inherent to understandings of artificial intelligence. Here, thrillingly, varying iterations are put forward as to how this might manifest in different forms and how that seemingly aggressive or otherwise might pose a threat.

Sure, the Infinity storyline was ten years in the making but when it came down to it Thanos didn’t take too much time to come by those stones. With Discovery’s showrunners taking the season (and last year’s) to set the groundwork for the believable, eerie threat, when push comes to shove the stakes seemed mindbogglingly real.

Ridden with, as is usually the case, overwhelmingly familial elements for those we’ve come to know, namely Michael (Sonequa Martin-Green), these episodes don’t bear the overstated, soap opera-ish feel that undermines some Trek, in large part due to that emotive being rooted in a threat so foreboding and well-articulated as this one. The presence of Spock (Ethan Peck) in such capable hands buoys the series, with this season welcomely elaborating on the character’s lore rather than pivoting to fan service as could easily and regrettably been the case.

Only in it’s second year, the show delves into a much-speculated Federation era and too the very origin of Star Trek that along with Captain Pike (Anson Mount) has been the subject of much fan fiction. Graciously, Discovery emerges far from anything of the kind, expanding on the canon rather than regurgitating it or relying heavily on mainstay Trek imagery or tropes. The insight into Pike, well known to be historically short-changed by the saga, works wonders and only more so given Mount’s abilities; stepping into the series with welcome aplomb as if he’d always been there.

Shrewdly tying up loose threads and plot inconsistencies vis-a-vis Discovery and its precursors, those involved were too wise to split the final story/episode into two epic segments. Together effectively a feature-length thriller more rewarding than any of the recent Star Trek films (to note; Star Trek and Beyond were enjoyable), it’s also a more complete work than any of the aforementioned behemoth conclusions that came along this April past. Separate to actually being able to see what is going on as intense space battles (with evident spatial awareness – we always know where we are in all this) play out before our eyes, there’s a lot happening with our leads. Unusually, we can follow it, and it makes sense.

Several storylines and, surprisingly, significant character development and dynamics emerge as characters race to save it all, whether it be Michael’s relationship with Ash (and, yes, Voq), Pike’s approach to command, Saru’s further self-actualisation, Stamets’ less than common romantic situation and Tilly, well, being Tilly. We’re even introduced to a hilarious new character in the guise of Yadira Guevara-Prip’s teen Xahean Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po.

Packing some marvellous special effects and representations of how time operates, absent Marvel’s signature and tired quippy style the approach to humour, rendering it organically and as we’ve come accustomed to these characters interacting when under pressure, is very welcome. Shoehorning in nothing, this well-considered, well-staged and utterly thrilling take on Star Trek will go down among it’s best.

Star Trek: Discovery is now streaming on Netflix

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: The Next Generation - ‘The Pegasus’ Review

"You were the captain, I was the ensign. I was just following orders."

A good episode. But I really wish we hadn't been able to guess exactly how it would end.

Admiral Erik Pressman's mission was to find the wreckage of the Pegasus, a starship that was thought to be completely destroyed, in order to conceal a critical secret aboard her from those pesky sniffing-around Romulans. Twelve years ago, Admiral Pressman was the Pegasus' captain when his crew mutinied. Riker, a young babyfaced ensign at the time, was a member of that crew and chose to back his captain.

Early on, Picard told Admiral Pressman why he chose Riker as his second when Next Generation began – Picard wanted someone who wouldn't be a yes man, who would always give him his honest opinion even if they disagreed. Pressman was the opposite: he wanted blind, unwavering loyalty. It's not surprising that Riker, a young ensign right out of the Academy, would give him that back then, but Riker has matured. When Riker wouldn't tell Picard what was going on with Pressman's mission, Picard said he would trust Riker to do the right thing. And of course, Riker did. I found it somewhat annoying that Riker kept his mouth shut as long as he did, but if he hadn't, there would have been no drama.

Starfleet admirals all seem to go bad eventually, don't they? Admiral Pressman's true personality was revealed when he simply ignored the bodies of his former crew frozen in time in the wreckage of the Pegasus. He treated them like furniture. And he broke the terms of a Federation treaty to do something he thought would give Starfleet an edge, and I would get that, except that it was still treason.

And OMG, Admiral Pressman was played by a baby Terry O'Quinn with fake gray hair, clearly trying to look 60 when he was only 42. Yes, I get why they did that. Terry O'Quinn and Jonathan Frakes were the same age, and not ageing Pressman would have felt wrong. But it kept jumping out at me while I was doing this review because I spent six years writing about Terry O'Quinn on Lost when he was actually the age he was trying to fake in this episode. Not that Terry O'Quinn wasn't awesome as Pressman, because he was. He's a terrific actor now, and he was a terrific actor back in the nineties, too.

What I liked most about this episode was the final reveal of Admiral Pressman's "secret." Throughout the episode we're going, what could the experiment possibly be, and how could it be so important? I was sure it would turn out to be a let-down – but it wasn't. For years, fans of the original series wondered what happened to the Romulan cloaking device that Kirk and Spock went undercover to steal in "The Enterprise Incident" and why the Federation never developed one of their own. And voila, a rational explanation: they did it secretly in violation of the Treaty of Algeron that kept the peace for sixty years.

The reason Ronald D. Moore decided to make the cloaking device the Macguffin was because, and this is hilarious, he was tired of getting that question from fans at conventions. It was also the last season of Next Gen, and they were winding things up and tying them with a bow. I have to say that incorporating phasing in the cloaking device added a creepiness to the denouement, with finding that the Pegasus solidified inside solid rock. It also imparted some significant tension to the scene where the Enterprise was phasing through the asteroid itself.

I also have to give points for the adorable opener that featured an uncomfortable Picard judging the winners of "Captain Picard Day." The best part was Jonathan Frakes doing a spot-on Patrick Stewart impression. And I just realized that it essentially foreshadowed the plot of the episode, because Riker did end up picking the winner. It really was "Captain Picard Day."

Bits:

— Stardate 47457.1, the Devolin system.

— Admiral Blackwell called to tell Picard to pick up Pressman from the USS Crazy Horse. A great historical name and so much cooler than the more boring starship names like Intrepid or Valiant.

— Deanna Troi was only in the opening "Captain Picard Day" scene, and Admiral Pressman kept sitting in Troi's seat on the Bridge. Was that because Troi might have told Picard that Pressman was deceiving him?

— Riker said he'd only had his beard for four years. I think it was longer than that.

— In line with the recent episode "Force of Nature," Picard was told he could break the warp speed limit this time. I know they're just being consistent, but it's a little bit silly. What would happen? Would a patrol starship pull the Enterprise over and give Picard a ticket?

— This episode is heavily featured in the series finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, "These Are the Voyages..." I had forgotten, but Memory Alpha reminded me.

— The Romulan warbird Terix was captained by Sirol (Michael Mack), who was appropriately devious and slimy with his plans to take the Enterprise crew back to be imprisoned on Romulus, and blowing up the entrance to the asteroid stranding the Enterprise within. Memory Alpha also tells me that this was the first time an African American played a Romulan.

— Riker will face disciplinary action for concealing Pressman's actions. If this had happened earlier in the series, it might have been a good explanation for why Riker didn't get a ship of his own.

— This episode was directed by LeVar Barton.

Quotes:

Picard: "You'll be interested to know that I've arranged for a Commander Riker day next month. I'm even considering making an entry myself." Riker: "Great."

Riker: "I wasn't a hero, and neither were you. What you did was wrong, and I was wrong to support you, but I was too young and too stupid to realize it. You were the captain, I was the ensign. I was just following orders."

While this episode would have been more powerful if the outcome hadn't been predictable, it was still pretty good. Three out of four phasing cloaking devices,

---

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.