#so truly baffled as to why this person thought I'd be just fine with this when I found out
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Hey, just so you know, Garma-mom is actually racist and openly says the N-Word despite being white. They're also extremely lgbt-phobic. If you search Garma-mom you can find the post by Guzma-hates-CGL. I saw them interacting with one of your posts and wanted you to be aware
//Fucking yikes, it's like right there in their pinned. Thank you muchly for informing me, as this is just a side blog, I'm not as strict typically about who interacts so I'm not exactly checking out blogs.
Merle's racism is objectively a character flaw that the show was actively attempting to redeem when they killed him off; it's not a good thing š¬ But I guess that's the risk one takes when enjoying characters like this; they tend to attract genuine bigots š
#mun speaks#McYikes#I'm honestly lowkey shocked they ever interacted with this blog#given my version of Merle has 1: had a mostly positive relationship with a black guy (his *dad* was the negative factor in this)#and 2: is genderfluid and pansexual#but I guess the pan part is fine since they're ''half bi''(?????) whatever tf that means#also the guy I roped in to play Will on southern-titan? He's indigenous#he's not white#I'm pretty sure he's mentioned this#so truly baffled as to why this person thought I'd be just fine with this when I found out#I guess they figured I knew given it's all right there in their pin#but as I said I don't vet the blogs that interact with this one#maybe I should start doing that :/#really hate that I have to
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10.12.24 (Day 2)
I started the day angry, bitter, and resentful. I was still so angry about what my mother had said to me yesterday and the way she reacted. As infuriated as I was, I continued to record myself as I took my next dosage of testosterone and hoped for the best. I can't afford to be angry all the time. It wouldn't do me any good. I'd hate to think my mother will take up so much space in these entries. This is meant to be a safe space for me to document my journey. I want things to be happy and positive. I feel bad that I'm always so angry at her, but she should consider treating me better. After all, she has overwhelmingly contributed to why I feel I don't love being trans yet.
A friend told me the other day that he loves being trans. He also told me that it'd likely take me a while to feel that way. I thought what he told me was beautiful and that I couldn't wait to feel the way he does. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation we had. We spoke for a very long time about the struggles and milestones of transitioning. We spoke about how life had been before it and what it'd be like after. I was enamored with what he shared with me. I felt so connected with him then and I was thrilled to find someone who truly understands how I feel.
To be quite honest, I can't remember the last time I felt so understood and seen. It was like everything in my brain had finally made sense to another person. I'm so glad to have met him. I care about him a lot and he makes me very happy, but I feel awkward telling him that. I think he'll figure that out on his own just fine, though. I hope he knows I like it when he tells me he cares about me. I often wear the giddiest grin I can muster when he does.
I've been thinking a lot about the people who are no longer in my life. Those specifically who I'd love to tell about my transition. I wonder what they'd say, I wonder what they'd think. If we were still friends, would they be happy for me? If we were still dating, would they love me the same? If they were still alive, would they embrace me? I know I can't afford to think about all these people as much as I do, it's been years. But they always find a way to cross my mind like the sneaky devils they are. I miss you all terribly regardless of how you left me or how you've treated me. I have so much to tell you and none of the time or energy to do so.
There are still plenty of people out there I've yet to break the news to. I'm hoping for positive reactions, but I'll understand where I might get negative ones from. Still, I'm holding on to hope. I'm sure once my appearance has changed enough, the conversation will just start itself. I wonder what that'll be like. Will I be confident? Will I be timid? What will their faces look like? What will I look like? I find it baffling how starting my transition has elicited more questions than answers. Things will get better and less confusing, though, as time goes on. They have to... right? āBenjiź¤
#transgender#trans#trans man#transmasc#testosterone#hrt#transition#inner thoughts#he/him#benji's journey#day 2
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- followed Haylen not outside but downstairs to the secret recreation area. honestly, i'd prefer to just go on a vertibird ride to discuss this - loose lips sink airships - but i guess this'll have to do.
Haylen: Do you actually plan on killing Paladin Danse?
- dammit, i can't even level with her now? fine, i'll be cautious. >:(
Cat: That's a risky question, Haylen. Haylen: I know it is, but I need you to listen to me for a minute. I've known Paladin Danse ever since I was an Initiate. He trained me, showed me the ropes... and when I screwed up, he taught me to dust myself off and move on. He's earned my admiration, my respect, and my friendship. I don't care what Quinlan's report says. I don't care if he's a machine or not... he's still Danse. Cat: That's a bold statement. Haylen: Danse is the most selfless person I've ever met. I've watched him risk his own life based on nothing more than principle alone. That's why I'm asking you... not just as a member of the Brotherhood, but as a human being... give him a chance. Let him tell his side of the story. If you're not convinced by what he says, or somehow he's become truly lost to us, then you do what you have to do.
- i'm gonna be so disappointed if i can't steal her from the Brotherhood.
Cat: All right, I'll hear him out. Haylen: That's all that I ask. Before the Prydwen showed up, Danse had me identify a fallback point if we ever lost the police station. It was Listening Post Bravo, an old pre-war U.S. Military outpost on the northern frontier of the Commonwealth. It's isolated, and we're the only ones that knew about it, so there's a good chance that's where he's headed. Just be careful. There's no telling what state of mind he's in right now, or if he trusts any of us at all.
- Listening Post Bravo are you fucking kidding me? the place with the bears?
- wait.
---- w a i t.
-------- clawing and scrabbling through my liveblog rn. wasn't there something at Listening Post Bravo about the guy who worked there hearing weird inexplicable noises, and at the time i made a joke about every monster sighting being bears? god fucking damn past me for not making note of it beyond the phrase "spooky-ooky phrases" >:(
------------ i have. a thought.
---------------- i just left danse, alone, in a pyramid dedicated to AĢµĢĢ¤tĢ¶ĢĢ°oĢ“Ģ
ĶmĢ¶ĢĢ.
---------------- he apparently disappeared before anyone could get to him - how did he hear that he'd been outed? maybe he didn't, and the timing of his flight was coincidence?
---------------- he's now beelined for another place with possible ties to inexplicable horrors.
---------------- a place where Nick experienced a baffling urge to kneel on the ground for no reason.
---------------- AĢ¶ĶĶtĢ¶ĶĢoĢ¶ĢĢ²mĢøĢĶ's church has several times seemed to be at least neutral if not positively oriented toward robots/synths, at least on the level of "the important thing is that you're down with drowning the world in radiation".
-------------------- what if there's something to that - that maybe synthetic minds are capable of communing with the outer gods, to at least an equal and possibly even a greater extent than organic minds?
------------------------ what if Danse, holding down the fort with the two temple-guarding nutjobs, heard the call of something beyond?
---------------------------- Danse, who was sent by the Railroad to the Capital Wasteland, the birthplace of the Children of AĢ“ĢĢØtĢ¶ĢĢ³oĢµĶĢ mĢ·ĢĶ, and yet joined the Brotherhood and found his way back home on a scouting mission with no officer superior to him in his squad?
-------------------------------- Danse, the by-the-book, i-dotting, t-crossing soldier, who in a wildly out-of-character move didn't report a potential safehouse to his superiors!
------------------------------------ has Danse been secretly affiliated with the Children all along????????
---------------------------------------- y'ai AĢ“ĶĢ¾ĶĢĶĢ±Ģ£Ģ©hĢ·ĢĢĶ Ģ'ĢøĢĢĢ ĶĢ¹tĢ·ĶĶĢĢĶĶoĢ·ĢĢĶmĢ·ĢĶĢĶĢ”ĶĢ°ĶhĢ·ĢĶĢ Ģ§ĢØĢ²?
#AND THE WALLS BEGIN TO nope no settle down be calm be cool#this is all just me going out on a wild tangent so far#that said if aĢ“ĢĢ„tĢµĢĢ¦oĢ“ĢĢ£mĢ·Ģ¾Ģ¢ is the big bad of fallout 4 i am going to be so fucking happy#fallout 4: the resurrection of osha#fallout 4
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Several screws loose was very accurate. āYep, exactly. I wouldn't put it past people to actually begin competing. People probably complaining when they lost, claiming they were worse than the winner or something.ā She shook her head at the thought. Laurel could never really wrap her mind around animal cruelty. It always baffled her, how there were people who were completely fine with it and even, sought it out. Knowing these things about the world and human population came with the job though, so eventually Laurel learned to deal with it. Even if she was still repulsed by it. āThe absolute worst, I can't even think about it. Mm-hmm, yeah I remember that. That was truly insane. Agreed, we should've inaugurated the awards with him. ā
He only nodded. She tried to not let his response get to her. What did she say? Laurel worried that she had said the wrong thing, when they were only joking a moment ago. She was tempted to follow up and ask what was wrong, but honestly, she wasn't prepared for an answer. Memories snuck in with their jokes and teasing, but the well-known melody playing through the speakers was like getting smacked in the face with all memories. No longer subtle. She felt a pit in her stomach as she was transported back to yet another memory. The song playing from the car speakers, her turning up the volume and presenting it as a contender for their song. It was in that moment that Laurel realized she had not heard that song since everything came to an end. That was all it took for her mind to bring up all buried memories. The amount of late nights courtesy of insomnia and her usual knack for staying up late. Holding a map knowing she would get them lost anyway, stealing a picture here and there when he was too focused on driving, and all the fun places they visited on a whim. Fond memories that were buried because she just couldn't bear to think of them, especially when they worked together. It was the kind of memories that she wished could be wiped with a mild case of amnesia. It just sucked that it didn't worked that way. Why did she torture herself this way again? Any normal person would've requested a transfer or even moved to another office. She wasn't ready to admit it, but this was not as easy as she claimed. Or maybe it was this whacky town. But, being near him and reliving memories was bringing up old wounds that she thought had semi-healed.
Now that, she was not expecting, but it was hilarious. Not to mention it was so effective at causing her thoughts and memories to vanish. Her laughter only returned at the sight, even the whine that came from him. āOh my gosh, you okay? I didn't realize the mention of decades would be so jarring. That's fair, this job ages anyone. I feel like I've been around five years already. Well, you're not doing your back any favors with you jumping off buildings and what not.ā Her smile remained as he cleaned up and continued talking. His mom sounded so lovely, Laurel could even say she was a bit jealous. āSeems to me like she did pretty well. I'm sure she's very proud of you, you're pretty great. Okay, yeah that does sound like a nightmare. I'm glad you're not, I'd hate to be your partner if that was the case.ā
Her mind was spinning. Full responses to one-word answers. Laurel couldn't pinpoint where she was going wrong. She was reaching her very short limit, gearing up to ask him what she did to warrant the short answers. āSure, maybe.ā The amount of uncertainty was not helping today, maybe was quickly becoming a word she disliked. She held her breath until he responded, afraid that he'd answer yes and dismiss her from the case. āOh, good. Okay. I know I didn't necessarily sign up to lie, but above all, I trust your judgement. Just don't make me regret it.ā Trusting was not easy for her, but she was sincere. Laurel trusted Eli with anything that was work-related. She even trusted him with her life, but as soon as they talked about anything else, her guard was quickly up and the trust retracted. To her, her heart was more fragile than her life. And he had already made a mess of her heart. Laurel caught his gaze, but it wasn't directed at her. He was distracted by something else. Until, he looked back at her, and she felt a jolt course through her the moment his hand touched hers. This couldn't keep happening. She was relieved, at least, that their reason for being here had finally come knocking. Focusing on work was for the best. āRight, of course.ā There was reluctance to move her hand away, his touch was equal parts comforting and unsettling. She had to focus and slid out of her seat, reaching for her wallet in her back pocket to leave more than enough to cover the bill, before following after him to meet Jim.
Sometimes being faced with past mistakes wasn't as fun as movies made it out to be. It was harder when he looked over at his partner, someone who wasn't just a colleague but also was a big part of his life. They'd said mixing business and pleasure wouldn't work out. Work would get in the way but that wasn't the case with him and Laurel. They balanced work and home like a couple of experts, the only thing that got in their way was him. And he knew that. It wasn't until this moment that he was faced with his own biggest regret. That wasn't a good feeling he was currently having. It made his stomach turn the way she looked at him. He knew it wasn't gonna be cakewalk working together after he broke it off but didn't really think that it was gonna be this hard.
As soon as she broke the brief silence he let out an amused laugh. āSaddest part is that I can actually see that happening. Some people have several screws loose. That's when you know we've hit the bottom of the barrel humans. As ridiculous as it sounds, I can see people clamoring over each other just to be the best worst pile of human garbage. ā He'd never understand cruelty and would never understand it when it came to animals. The more inhumane he just couldn't grasp how humans could do that and be okay with it. As much as he wanted a dog he knew that it was for the best he didn't have one. āRemember that case we closed with that nut job vet who finally got caught after he went bragging about what he'd done. He should have gotten the pile of garbage award. ā
How could I forget? Were the words that wanted to slip past his lips but he pulled himself back. When insomnia would kick in, adventure usually followed. One of his best memories was a late night drive downtown, seeing the sights that the nightlife offered. There was also the Vegas trip that he wrangled her into which still cracked his top five moments. It didn't go unnoticed that her smirk faltered a tiny bit but just as soon as it came it left. He knew they couldn't do this dance but each second it was becoming harder and harder to not make pointed comments or do something that was a callback to what had been their normal. As if the universe was giving him another giant fuck you or sticking a blade down into his heart, he heard the familiar melody seeping through the cafe speakers. Another shot of nostalgia coursed through him as he blinked and could see the road, her hands holding a map, legs up on the dashboard, hair swaying in the wind. Laughter ringing at the absurd car games that they'd play and the moment where hands twined over the gear shift. Fleetimg moments that were captured like a Polaroid. A freeze frame stuck in time. A time he chose to tarnish all on his own. Her free spirit was one of the things that attracted him to her. In an inexplicable way. Coming out of the memory he solemnly nodded. Fearing if he spoke that it'd give way to how wracked he was feeling inside.
He snorted a laugh making the milkshake come out of his nose. A grossed out whine elicited from him at the sight. Lovely. But Laurel had always made him laugh, sometimes by the funny way she'd say things or the funny things that would come from her mind. āI'll accept decades. Somedays it actually feels like I've been doing this for decades. My back certainly thinks so. ā He shrugged one shoulder as he wiped his nose and dabbed a bit of hand santizier on his hands. He was a germaphobe since birth and that hadn't changed as he had gotten older. āI like to think she was a good mom. Raised us to the best of her ability. Just hope I have made her proud. Hope she's looking down from wherever she is. Yeah, being seen a stuffy agent is my worst nightmare. I wouldn't deal.ā
That made his eyebrow quirk slightly. It could have been the song, the cafe or the fact that he was clearly going through a breakdown of his own without knowing that had him focus on her words and what she meant by that. Asking was out of the question. That would open up a can of worms he wasn't prepared for. āMaybe. ā the question made him shake his head. āNo. I wouldn't kick you off the case. I just. I know lying isn't what you signed up for and I don't want to make you uncomfortable or put you in a spot where you have to choose which one to do to keep your job. ā That was honest and one of the reasons he wanted to take the case. Anyone else would cash in with the fanfare. He looked up right as he was about to say something and saw Jim standing there until eyes met. With a slight nod he looked at Laurel and placed his hand over hers. āWe gotta go. ā
#martieshub#and in return they got me quaking in MY seat !! š¤š¤#a meal with a side of shenanigans#he's struggling...bless him she needs to chill#also sneaaaky with the song i love it!#but also not me thinking of possible songs already haha
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My Ghostmate part 6
part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 IĀ
Ft. Leviathan
Gender-neutral reader insert
Obey me! Monster tales
--------------
Finally, the day of the premiere arrives.Ā I'm so nervous and have to take many deep breaths to calm myself down. I don't even need coffee to feel awake.Ā
Even Levi is already up and floating about. He asks me the entire time if I have everything and to get him at least tonight's program.Ā
It feels like he is more nervous than I am.Ā
I chuckle because of him a few times. If this production was bigger we might have someone record it for Levi to see but sadly, this is not the case.
"I promise I will do a show of today's events for you later Levi." I smile at him, hiding my pain in front of him. It's not his fault that he can't leave.
"Too bad that there is no merch." Levi sighs.
"Maybe I can play a character that you like in the future." I giggle at the thought.
"That would be amazing. I can already see how you bring them to live!" His eyes sparkle for a moment.
This fills my heart with so much joy.
"In that case, I will do my best!" I fist-pump the air filled with new motivation.
"That's right you show them!" Levi smiles at me.
I wave him goodbye and head to the theater.
This isn't the time to feel down.
---------
Finally, the time for my performance comes. I use my countless hours of practice and bring the ghost truly to life. Well, the character is dead but my point stands.
Of course, there is one point where my eyes happen to wander over the seat that should have been Levis.Ā
Strangely someone is sitting in the seat, looking kind of nervous. He probably sneaked in. If I wasn't in the middle of the show I'd tell him off, but I have to let it slide today.
The play continues and it's a huge success.
We get a lot of applause from the audience.
I'm very happy about this success.Ā
There is still work to be done like changing and removing my makeup. It's quite a lot and takes a pretty long time.Ā
I hear a knocking on the door. Maybe someone forgot something?
"Come in," I yell.
The door rattles and then opens slowly. The person peeking their head in is not an actor or anyone from the staff.Ā
I stand up, maybe now it's time to use my self-defense training. I glare at the intruder.
"What do you want?"
He just starts crying. Making me feel guilty. Was I too harsh?
"I just really wanted to see your play, but I can't go outside so I ordered pizza and well now I'm in this guy's body but I don't have a clue what I'm doing!" The guy starts to speak fast as lightning but I manage to get most of it.
"Levi is that you?!" I'm baffled, to say the least.
He came for me. I can't help but smile.Ā
"Y-yeah but I don't think I can do this any longer." He looks sick somehow.Ā
"Levi, it's alright, take a deep breath." I try to calm him down. Touching his shoulder.
This makes him panic more and I suddenly feel a cold sensation.Ā
"Oh no, I can't do this again." Levi is bawling and tries to move away from me.
"It's fine, just get us home." I grab the guy's arm.Ā
Feeling the cold sensation once again. It's strange but not as bad as last time.
---------
When I come back to my senses I am indeed home. I feel somewhat relieved.
I see Levi, semi hiding behind a table. He looks very anxious.Ā
"Hey, there Levi." I stretch.Ā
He looks at me like a small puppy. "Are you okay?"
"Of course, better than ever. Now come here." I wave him over.
He hesitantly comes closer and finally sits down next to me.
"I wanted to thank you for coming today, it meant a lot to me." I give him a big genuine smile.
Levi blushes, playing with his hoodie. "It- it was worth it." He is kinda cute.
I gaze at him. I like him a lot. Sure he is awkward and has strange hobbies but he is a very sweet and caring guy.
"What?!" He looks nervously at me.
"I have just realized that I like you a lot,"Ā I say this casually but feel a bit nervous.
Levi blushes so much that he might as well cosplays as a tomato. "Don't make fun of me. You could never like a stupid ghost otaku like me."Ā
"Why not?" I shrug my shoulders, somewhat enjoying his response.
"Because you are so perfect and everything and I'm well, me." He says this at a high speed but yet I catch every word.
"Perfect? Does that mean you like me?" I tease him not expecting much to be honest.
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well I mean, I thought that was obvious not that I believe that you would ever like me." He drags his words and half whispers the important part.
"Too bad but you are wrong. Here I'll prove it." I grin at him.
Inching closer towards him, leaving no room for Levi to escape.Ā
Levi is essentially frozen. Usually, he would disappear in a situation like this but now he looks at me like a bunny to a wolf.
I take the chance and close the distance. Feeling extra bold, my lips meet his.
Ā Well, at least I think they do. All I feel is coldness and then I plunge face-first onto the couch.
Levi has vanished.
Just seconds later he screams from the other side of the room."Are you alright?" The boy can be fast if he wants.
"Yeah, I'm fine but this needs some more work." I sigh. This relationship clearly won't be easy.
"Does that mean you want to do that again?" He asks with a shaky voice.
"Kissing you? Sure, if you enjoyed it." I hadn't even considered this until I now mention it.
Levi turns into a tomato once again. "I didn't hate it but I need to prepare myself. If you do this so suddenly I might die." Levi is very sincere about this point.Ā
"Alright, I'll give you a heads up like 30 seconds ahead of time." I hold back a remark of him being already dead.
"That's not long enough. At least a minute or a day or two." Levi bites his lip.
"I don't have that kind of time so a minute it is." I smile at him.
Levi seems a bit unsure but at least he is mostly visible again.
"Now come here, and let's watch anime." This is the way to distract him for sure.
Levi slowly comes closer once the show begins.
He sits next to me like always.
"Head up," I whisper to him. Just planning to kiss his cheek.
Levi blushes. "Impossible!" He then runs off.
Yep definitely needs work. Oh well, I'm patient.
I snicker and continue to watch the show.
Living with my ghostmate, possible ghost boyfriend is pretty fun after all.
-------
The delivery guy was paid for his troubles and did not lose his job. Though he was slightly confused.
This is the last part
#obey me boys#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me!#obey me fanfiction#obey me#obey me leviathan
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The evidences of our love are everywhere
Summary:
Thor is worried about his little brother's happiness and spies on Loki and Mobius in a more or less subtle way.
Tumblr request : Thor spying on Loki and Mobius.
As usual I got carried away and added most of my favorite tropes :p
https://archiveofourown.org/works/33254275
1643 words - Rating G
"I know it, that you are watching us Thor."
Thor wanted to protest at first, but even though he hadn't known Mobius long, he knew the man was perceptive and there was no point in trying to lie to him.
He sighed, "I admit it."
"I suspect you have no malicious intent," Mobius said kindly, "but I would like to know why."
Thor thought about what he would say in response.
He could see that his little brother was happy. That he had changed, or rather that he had become the best version of himself.
And this was partly thanks to Mobius, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. In their daily lives. So he had been watching for every moment he could spy on them during their stay in Asgard.
**********
One evening, he had overheard a scene he never thought he would see.
Mobius with a brush in his hand was sitting behind Loki and asked him softly, "Should I start brushing your hair?"
Loki nodded and closed his eyes, as if he already knew he was going to like it. Like it had become something familiar.
Mobius started at the bottom, taking care not to pull, then slowly worked his way up. After a while, Mobius' fingers replaced the brush and it was clear that Loki was enjoying it. He did not startle or protest. He turned his back to someone and let them touch him. This showed how much he trusted Mobius.
Not so long ago, such contact would have been unimaginable. If it was anyone else but Mobius, Thor thought, Loki would never have allowed it.
Thor could hardly tear himself away from the scene since he was so fascinated.
Mobius stopped and his hands slid over Loki's shoulders and Loki held his head back with a gentle smile on his face. Mobius leaned over and kissed him gently.
Thor thought it was time for him to retire.
**********
" Tell me candidly, is there anything in me, except my ugliness, which displeases you? Do you object to my birth, my temper, my manners?ā
āNo, truly,ā replied the princess; āI like everything in you, exceptāāand she hesitated courteouslyāāexcept your appearance.ā
Thor had just entered the living room of Loki and Mobius' suite and stopped in front of the incredible scene he had before his eyes.
Loki was lying on the couch, his head on Mobius' lap, Mobius had one hand in his hair and in the other hand a book that he was reading aloud.
Thor held his breath, because the two men had neither seen nor heard him.
Mobius continued reading.
āThen, madam, I need not lose my happiness; for if I have the gift of making clever whosoever I love best, you also are able to make the person you prefer as handsome as ever you please. Could you love me enough to do that?ā
āI think I could,ā said the princess, and her heart being greatly softened towards him, she wished that he might become the handsomest prince in all the world. No sooner had she done so than Riquet with the Tuft appeared in her eyes the most elegant young man she had ever seen.
Loki sneered, "Of course, to be happy, they both have to be beautiful and smart. I know it's a fairy tale and doesn't fit reality, but frankly, I'd never read that to my kids."
"Sweetheart," Mobius said softly while stroking Loki's hair soothingly before continuing, "Listen to the end, I think you'll enjoy it more."
Loki harrumphed, but remained silent as Mobius continued, " Some people have said that this was no fairy-gift, but that love created the change. They declare that the princess, when she thought over her loverās perseverance, patience, good-humour, and discretion, and counted his numerous fine qualities of mind and disposition, saw no longer the deformity of his body or the plainness of his features. However this may be, it is certain that the princess married him; that either she retained her good sense, or he never felt the want of it; and he never again became uglyāor, at least, not in his wifeās eyes, so they both lived very happy until they died. Morality, all is beautiful in those whom we love, and those whom we love are witty and intelligent"
Loki turned on his back and looked at Mobius.
Thor stepped back into the doorway, he was no longer able to see but he heard Loki, "Mobius, it's kind of like the two of us in the end," he chuckled before continuing, "except that we're both princes. But what I mean is that you have seen beyond what I have shown the world."
Thor heard Mobius nod before answering, "And you, Loki, have opened my mind.Ā So there is nothing to stop us from living very happy until we die."
The only thing Thor heard again before walking away was his little brother's undoubtedly happy laughter.
**********
Thor had not often had the opportunity to see Loki in his Jotun form. He knew that even after all this time it was still an extremely sensitive subject for his brother, so he was surprised to see him like this, sitting on the balcony railing of their suite, looking at the sky.
He was about to join him, when Mobius appeared next to him bringing what appeared to be some refreshments.
When Loki was aware of Mobius' presence, he began to revert to his Aesir form. But Mobius protested, "Loki, you know you don't have to hide from me, Sweetheart. If you want to take on that appearance, I have no problem with it."
And as Loki returned to his Jotun appearance, Mobius put down the tray and approached him, gently touching his face, as if he was used to doing it, knowing that if he lingered too long, the cold sensation would be too much.
Loki said in a voice Thor didn't know, "Do you really not mind touching me while I'm like this?"
Mobius shook his head and replied, "No, the only downside is that I can't touch you or kiss you like I want to, but otherwise I have no problem with this shape. I told you before, I love you, I love everything about you and it's part of you so I love this form too."
Then Mobius sat Loki down on a small bench that was on the balcony, put a pillow on Loki's lap, and lay down next to him resting his head on the pillow then said softly, "And you see, even when you are in this form, it is possible for us to be close."
As he walked away, Thor thought to himself that he would not soon forget his brother's amazed expression.
**********
The next time, Thor had first heard just laughter, as he went to knock on the door of Mobius and Loki's suite.
"No, Mobius! Stop it! You're scratching! I don't want you to kiss me if it scratches like that!"Then Thor heard Mobius reply in a sulky voice, which was quite rare, "Loki..."
"No, no, no your itchy skin will not come in contact with my delicate skin!"
He heard Mobius cough before he replied, "Then would you please shave me?"
Then the two men seemed to be gone, and Thor couldn't help but be curious and slowly opened the door. The living room was empty, but Thor heard voices that seemed to come from a small adjoining room. He knew he shouldn't, but he peeked through the half-open door anyway.
Mobius was sitting with a towel over his shoulders, shaving cream on his cheeks and chin. Loki had rolled up his sleeves, and was holding a razor. He leaned over to Mobius, and with a serious look on his face asked, "Do you trust me?"
Mobius answered firmly, looking him straight in the eye, "Intimately." before stretching his chin forward and closing his eyes.
Thor once again baffled, discreetly turned back and left their suite.
**********
"I'm sorry Mobius. Of course I had no malicious intent. I guess I just wanted to make sure that Loki was happy. It was something I didn't expect to see. I think I wanted to see it for myself, I'm sorry I was kind of a stalker, I-"
Mobius stopped him by putting a hand on his forearm, "It's okay Thor, you don't have to justify yourself. I know Loki's life, his whole life, so I understand perfectly well the need to reassure you, but I can promise you one thing, that I will always do everything to make him happy. That will always be my priority. Loki is the only family I have so I will always take care of him."
Thor nodded visibly moved as a voice echoed behind him, "You see, brother you don't have to worry. My happiness is truly real."
As if to prove what he had just said was true, Loki approached Mobius and put his arm around his waist before kissing him on the cheek.
"This man Thor, is the person who allowed me to change what I thought was my destiny, he saw the good in me, and in doing so I finally believed that I was capable of doing good."
Thor answered softly, "I always knew you were capable of doing good, little brother, but I'm glad you believe it now too."
Then he stepped forward and took the two men in a strong embrace before stepping back and adding, "Mobius, there was only one thing that was wrong with everything you told me before."
Mobius and Loki looked at him in surprise.
Thor added with a gentle smile, "You said Loki was your only family, but that's not true, it's not true anymore. Welcome to the family. We are your family and you are ours now."
_________
Series of Oneshot : Together, for all time, always
Fairy Tale used : Riquet and the tuft, oft underrated or shallowly interpreted. Shaving scene, inspired by Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle shaving scene in CSI
As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd and english is not my native language I hope you enjoyed it nonethelessš„°
#Established Relationship#tooth rotting fluff#lokius#lokius fic#loki#mobius m mobius#thor#Loki/Mobius M. Mobius#loki x mobius#moki#wowki
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14 please. Break me.
It's not edited, edited, so I might've missed some words out, but here it is!
-
"Damn it, Graham, why can't you just let me in?!" " Dan calls out from the corridor that leads to their bedrooms. "I know you're in there." But, as expected, there is no reply.
Like the twenty other times he knocked before.
Dan grunts and stalks away. He needs a break, or a coffee, or anything reallyāsomething to take his mind off Graham and the door blocking him from saying sorry. He didn't mean it, and Christ, he didn't know the other man would take it so personally.
Why does it matter that an alien mistook their genders? It was hardly the alien's fault; the Doctor mentioned that they didn't even have a concept of the word gender. So, he joked a bit, found it somewhat amusing, said that he and Graham were women now.
He really didn't mean anything by it! It was just a stupid comment that came out of his mouth, he said he was only messing, but it was too late. The look on Graham's face said all he needed to know.
That Graham took offence and stormed off. Even Yaz and the Doctor frowned after their friend, their eyes flicking to Dan like he should've known not to joke like that.
"Urgh," Dan grumbles when he storms into the kitchen, slamming the door open harder than needed. "That bloody man, I swear to-" He cuts himself when he feels a pair of eyes upon him. "-Doctor-"
"Dan," The Doctor replies curtly. Great, now she is off with him as well. "No luck with Graham?"
"No," Dan snaps, not at her, more at the kettle. "He's locked himself in his room and is refusing to open the door or speak to me," He throws coffee into his mug. "If I bleeding knew he'd take offence, I wouldn't have said anything."
"He didn't take offence," The Doctor reveals after a moment of thought. "Look, Dan, I'm not going to say anything, but I'd suggest that you don't act like what you said was a little thing."
"So, what? You're havin' a go at me now?"
"No," The Doctor sighs, her hands pulling at her coat awkwardly. "You're angry, not at Graham, but at yourself, because you said something that hurt the man you like-"
"Hey-"
"It's obvious you like him, Yaz and Ryan told me," The Doctor stares through Dan. "I'm not going to tell you what's wrong; it's for Graham to tell you when he's ready, but what I will say is that you're going about this all wrong."
"So, you know?"
"I have experience in the same matter," The Doctor replies, leaving Dan just as baffled as he was before. "Go back and try again."
Dan stares at the Doctor, taking in her advice. "Fine," He decides, turning and leaving the kitchen just as quick as he arrived. It's not a long trip back to Graham's room; it seems the TARDIS might be helping him along.
He takes a long breath before gently knocking on Graham's door. "Graham, you don't have to come out; you don't even have to open the door 'cos all I want to say is that I'm sorry, truly, I am sorry," He explains. "What I said wasn't cool, it was silly and stupid, and I didn't mean it at all, I'm gonna be honest 'ere 'cos I'm not sure what the context was, but I obviously hurt you, and for that, I am-"
"Come in," Graham mumbles from the crack in his door. "I can explain."
Dan nods and quickly follows Graham into his bedroom, his eyes flicking around before coming to land on the man in front of him. His eyes are drawn to the baggy hoodie, but he decides not to comment on the strange choice of clothes. "You don't have to explain, mate, honestly-"
"No, I need to," Graham turns away from Dan. "It's just hard for me; people don't get it; they think different of me when I tell them," He glances back at Dan again. "Yaz and the Doc know, they've known for a while, Ryan knew before them, and Grace, she knew first," He speaks with a sad smile. "But you don't, and you didn't know, so it wasn't your fault, not really anyway."
"Graham?" Dan steps closer, his brows knitted in concern. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing's the matter," Graham sighs as he sits down. He taps the space next to him, and Dan follows after him once more. "Well, there is, but that's a me problem at the moment, just gotta sort me head out-"
"Sort your head out?"
"Yeah," Graham grimaces, hands wringing together. "Kinda dealing with a thing called, uh," He looks at Dan. "Do you know what dysphoria is?" Dan shakes his head, and Graham nods. "Right, well, to put it in laymen terms-" He looks down into his lap. "-I'm suffering with it right now, that's why I reacted the way I did, 'cos you said I was a woman, and I'm not, never was, it's just-"
In a flash, Dan understands. He's seen the news; he knew of a friend. "I'm a prick," He realises. "I am so sorry, Graham; I didn't mean to misgender you."
"What?" Graham blinks at Dan, surprised.
"You're trans, aren't you?"
"How did you-" Graham frowns. "You know?"
"No, course not," Dan reassures. "But I'm not an old man, as much as I look like one, I'm not; I know these things."
"Oh," Graham replies. "And, uh, are you okay with that then? You know, me being a trans man?"
Dan nods, smiling at Graham. "Course I am, you daft idiot," He gently nudges him. "Mates?" He holds his hands out to Graham.
"Mates," Graham nods, accepting the handshake. "Now, you," He stands up. "When I'm feeling like this, I just kinda wanna eat junk food and watch the footie, and because you said what you said, you're gonna sit and watch the Hammers with me."
Dan sighs but accepts the condition. "Lead on, Graham."
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Āµ's Scenario || Living a Cinderella Story: They are royalty and invite you (a commoner) to the ball
HONOKA
The moment she saw you on the street, she knew you were the one she was going to make her partner. She wouldn't hesitate, she would call right out to you, inviting you to come find her on the night of the ball. And when you arrive, she would never be able to contain her excitement. Even if you showed up in your commoner rags, covered in dust and ash from the chores you had completed before your arrival at the event, Honoka would not at all cease to comment on how beautiful and perfect you are to her, and would already be asking for your hand in marriage before the night even ended. This is the night where Princess Kousaka fell in love at first sight.
"I see you and I see perfection. I see my future. Together, we'll be unstoppable. I can already feel it and see it. It's starting right now. (Y/N), will you marry me?"
KOTORI
It would take her a moment to gather the courage. After asking you to come to the ball, she'd wait nervously in her throne. But when she saw you come through the grand marble doors, every fear and anxiety of hers would completely disappear. Beckoning you to her, she would ask for your hand in a dance. The two of you would spend the whole night together, laughing, chatting, hand in hand. As the clock drew closer to midnight, Kotori knew she would have to choose her partner eventually, and without hesitation picked you. She would place her crown on your head, leaning in to kiss your lips and seal the deal. Best night of her life.
"Honestly, I was so concerned that you wouldn't come to me at first, but after seeing how big your heart and your supply of courage really is, I feel confident with you. You're obviously so much more than what the other commoners say you are. I can see it. Why don't you marry me and we have nights like this together for always? I'd like that with you."
UMI
Princess Umi had been watching over you for a very long time. She would see you amidst the crowds at the markets and other events, and she would take careful note of who you are and what positive traits she could find about you. Eventually she would feel as though you were a good enough person to invite to the ball. She'd be especially impressed when you arrived in something slightly more decent than your regular potato sack dress and sandals. Without any second thought, she would confidently approach you, and initiate conversation, which would lead to a dance. In just one night, Princess Umi grew to like almost every single thing about you, and found it in her heart that you were the one for her. Whisking you away to the royal chapel, Umi would not at all hesitate to ask you for your hand, most positively thrilled when your answer is yes.
"I don't usually invite commoners to my events, but something is positively different about you. Come with me to the chapel. Let's have a further conversation, yes?"
HANAYO
You certainly be very shocked upon hearing that the shy and reclusive Princess Koizumi had invited you to her grand ball. Hanayo was equally shocked and even more nervous when she saw that you had arrived. She hadn't at all expected you to come. It would totally throw her off guard. After collecting herself and remembering that she only had until midnight to pop the question, she would approach you and in the politest manner ask you to dance. As the night progressed, Hanayo would begin to open up to you, glad to be living the dream that she had always had: the night she finally got to see you up close and talk to you. She'd be totally lost in her attraction to you until her adviser reminded her that it was only 1 minute until midnight. Stumbling through panic and nerves, Hanayo would ask you to marry her right there and then. She couldn't believe her ears when you accepted the offer. She finally felt as though her life was truly beginning.
"Y/N, for the longest time, I have admired you. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to say it before. But I just have to say it now...please, will you marry me?!"
RIN
This girl goes straight to the point. She has been waiting for this moment all her life, ever since she met you as a child. She always knew it in her heart that you were the one for her. And she was going to make sure that her asking you to marry her way so thrilling that you couldn't possibly say no. Silently guiding you away from the crowd, she'd lead you out to the garden, kicking off her shoes and running away barefoot, begging you to come catch her. Once you did, the clock striking midnight in that moment, she'd slam her lips into yours, sliding the ring that had been hiding in her glove onto your finger, a smile spreading across her face as she looked you in the eye. Her plan worked. You couldn't bring yourself to say no. You didn't want to. She made sure that the wedding was ready to be held the next day.
"It's midnight, and I got the ring on your finger! You know what that means! Come on, let's get married!"
MAKI
There was no way the lovely Princess Nishikino had invited you to the ball! And yet, she had. Though she denied wanting to. Maki's heart would be racing away inside her chest as you approached her. You couldn't tell what she was thinking. That aside, the dance began. Her grip on you was firm, as though she was telling you not to go anywhere. And as the dance went on, you both began to know why. Maki didn't at all bring her feet to a halt when she asked you the question.
"Well, it's obvious that we both have it figured out now. So, what's your answer? Are you willing to marry me? Speak. I don't have all night."
NICO
Princess Yazawa wouldn't touch a commoner even if her life depended on it. But after you made that compliment on her singing and the offering of gold you had found all while keeping your head down I respect for her, she felt as though she would be fine making an exception for you. Ordering her messengers to hunt you down and bring you to her on the night of the ball, Nico would wait patiently in her throne, ignoring all others who offered their hands to her. When the doors finally swung open to reveal you, she would not hide her smile for even a second. Stand up, she commanded you to come take her hand in a dance, and at the end of the night confidently announce your marriage to her. Your selflessness despite how poor you were had totally won her heart.
"Keeping me waiting, eh? Well, waiting or not, it took you long enough. Whatever. Get over here! I have a plan for you! One dance, and then our marriage! And you better not refuse!"
NOZOMI
You had always been wary of the mysterious princess, and you were even more baffled upon receiving her invitation to the ball. Not wanting to be rude to her highness, you dug up the best outfit you had, tied up your hair and made your way to the event. There, Princess Tojo was smiling at everyone like she usually does, but when she saw you, her smile changed. It became bigger and brighter, making you focus on it so much that you almost didn't notice her beckoning for you to come to her with a single finger. You approached her as she asked, and were about to bow to her when she stopped you from doing so. You looked up to see that same smile on her face. Guiding you to dance floor, she savored every moment of her night with you before leading you away to her quarters where she had more in mind for you than just a dance. You woke up with a ring on your finger the next morning.
"(Y/N), I've been waiting for you. No need to bow, but trust me, I do appreciate your utmost respect. Please, will you share a dance with me? After that, I'd like to have a chat with you...privately. I that understood? Come now, let's enjoy ourselves. We only have until midnight. And my royal cards tell me that something fortunate will happen for both of us then. Do you wonder what it could be?"
ELI
Why on Earth would Princess Ayase the Great invite you to her grand ball? You had only one way to find out. Arriving at the event, the first thing you saw was her glorious majesty on her throne, displaying her natural beauty that was easily equal to that of a goddess. You'd be so lost in her looks and charisma that she'd amusedly ask her guards to go fetch you and bring you to her. Once they did, she'd immediately assure you that you weren't in trouble and make a compliment on your efforts at dressing nicely. Overwhelmed by that night, what felt like a fever dream, you bowed down at her majesty's feet and showered her in compliments. She wouldn't be able to handle your cuteness, helping you up herself while laughing. To take your mind off of the sudden shock, she would invite you to dance with her, and wouldn't at all mind spending the night with you, humbly thrilled when you finally summoned the courage to propose. Eli had been hoping you would ask.
"No need to be nervous, please, rise. I'm very humbled to have you here. I've been wanting to get to know you. Please, may I have this dance?"
Mod Chun š¶~š¦
#love live#honoka kousaka#kotori minami#umi sonoda#hanayo koizumi#rin hoshizora#maki nishikino#nico yazawa#nozomi tojo#eli ayase#love live royalty au#royalty au#love live reactions#love live scenarios
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Silence [Pt. 2]
Part 1, Part 2
Warnings: Unsympathetic Virgil, deception, manipulation, physical pain, bottled feelings, disguised violent threat, murder mention/joke, cursing, insults, hatred, Phonophobia [Fear of loud noises]
Ships: Loceit??? Who knows??? DLMP, other ships TBD
Prologue: It all got to be too much for Deceit sometimes. He's a flawed side, defective, useless. He isn't supposed to have these fears. He isn't supposed to flinch every time he drops something. He isn't supposed to have a panic attack when the dryer at a fast food restaurant is just a little bit too loud. It only gets worse when Virgil decides to mess with him. He thought Virgil would get better after being with the light sides. He didn't think Virgil would do anything to harm him. He couldn't hate Deceit so much that he'd hurt him, right?
--------------------
When he woke up, he almost thought it was all a dream. Well, he hoped it was. As distinct hushed whispers came into focus, he knew it wasn't. If that wasn't enough, the texture of his bed feltā¦.wrong. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to do anything to give the impression he was awake. It made him sick just thinking about the look on their faces. He'd honestly rather spontaneously combust than have to deal with their hatred. They probably thought it was a joke, some tactic to gain their trust. That would be fine, at least they would leave it as that. Maybe it would be better that way.Ā
Suddenly, a specific comment caught his attention. It was quiet, and he seemed to be the only one who heard it.
"You always screw things up, don't you?"Ā
Deceit's eyes flew open, and he was sitting up in just a few seconds. He regretted it immediately. Not only had he caught the others' attention, but he was now dizzy with how fast he'd gotten up. His mind blurred and his vision gave out. His body started to sway while he held his head, waiting for it all to stop.Ā
A hand settled firmly on his upper arm. He couldn't comprehend it until a few seconds later, but when he did, he noticed that it hurt. It burned, really. As the dizziness subsided, he was able to look up and see Virgil, Logan, Patton, and Roman all standing over him. All he could focus on, though, was Virgil's hand over his arm, barely even touching him.Ā
Deceit had fallen back, landing on his pillow at some point in his dizziness. He hadn't felt it at all, which was weird, but then again he was really dizzy. Normally, he would've cared about the fact that he wasn't in his own room. He would've been appreciative of the attention he was getting, if it weren't for the searing pain of Virgil's hand on his arm. He was so confused. 'How is he doing that? What did I do? What is happening?'
The pain made him bite his tongue, flinching and moving around uncomfortably.Ā
He opened his mouth to speak, and as soon as he did, Virgil pulled his hand from his arm. Deceit gloved hand went to rub his skin where the side had touched him, "Why- how did you do that?"
Virgil mocked confusion, as if he wasn't speaking to the master of deception, "What do you mean, snake face? Are you already trying to mess with us?" He glared, but to Deceit, it meant 'shut up, no one will believe you'.
Deceit just rolled his eyes, not wanting to play these games. All he wanted was to know why he wasn't in his room anymore and how the hell he got here. He looked at the others, scanning each of their faces. Patton's was concerned, ever loving and caring. Roman's expression displayed uncertainty. Logan's was calm, but his eyes. His eyes showed concern. Genuine concern.Ā
One of the things Deceit can do is see true emotion through people's eyes. He was able to see how someone truly felt, if they showed it or not.
Even so, he thought even the others could see Logan's emotions if they tried. They were always so strong, but somehow, the others never saw them. They never saw how truly emotional Logan is. It seemed so obvious to Deceit, but the other seemed to have his emotions so covered up that the others just didn't quite notice it. It was so confusing to Deceit. How did they not see it?! He was upset and almost crying, how did no one notice?
It always baffled him how the others could be so smart, so attached to each other, and yet they couldn't notice things like Logan's body stiffening (hurt, upset, angry) or him going silent (ignored, surprised). Deceit noticed these things, yes, but Logan's eyes broke every little external wall he put up for himself. He could have a cold hard expression, but be incredibly hurt or excited.Ā
He quickly snapped back to life when he heard Patton's voice suddenly, "Deceit, are youā¦.are you okay? Yesterday was rough for you, I imagine." He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Deceit's eyes were still just slightly red from crying, and he could feel the dried tears on his face. He remembered every detail of last night and flinched, "Perfectly fine, Patton. I've been fine, last night was nothing. It was simply a burst of emotion that I obviously couldn't handle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave before you all start hating me again. I'd rather not be here for that part." As he stood, he finally took a look at the room he was in. Obviously Patton's, with blue walls decorated with rainbows, kittens, dogs, stars, and every other happy thing you can think of. There was a wall of pictures and memories from Thomas' past. They showcased big accomplishments in their host's life, like when Thomas got an award and when he got the lead role in a school play.Ā
The room was bright and happy, everything in it was something from Thomas' past that held value.Ā
Patton's room and Deceit's were very very different in that aspect, despite having the same layout.
Speaking of Patton, the side frowned when he went to leave, "Wait, ki- Deceit!"
At the mention of his 'name', the deceptive side turned to look at the bubbly dad. It didn't hurt that he didn't call him 'kiddo', it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, he wasn't a kid why would it hurt- "Yes, oh so loveable Morality?"
Patton crossed his arms, "Please tell us why you were so upset. We've never seen you cry before, we're just concerned."
He didn't know what bothered him so much about that little statement, but Deceit just hissed in annoyance, "Concerned? Really? Don't even try with that. I don't do anything that important, now go do your job and stop lying to a liar. Honestly Morality, you could've called me stupid to my face and it would've been less insulting." He could taste the lie on his tongue. It was a nice, rich honey-like substance. If it wasn't for the blatant, hurtful lie he would've appreciated the taste. He craves it, and this would've been a victory if it weren't for the pain that came with it.Ā
"Well, I care king cobra!" Roman said defensively, "I mean, come on! We're not part of a mean person, we can't completely hate you! Have a little faith in us man, we're not that terrible." The prince huffed, looking to the side like an insulted teenager.Ā
"Yeah, we're not going to likeā¦.kill you or anything." Virgil 'agreed', and somehow, no one noticed the sarcasm except Deceit.Ā
This just made the snake faced side uncomfortable. The way the other's eyes darkened, how Virgil's smirk looked sinister to only him. It all just made him want to throw up.
"Right, well, I'm going to be in my room. While I'm there, try to keep it down for me." Deceit asked casually before sinking out. He didn't feel comfortable anymore, and he didn't need to deal with this right now. As soon as he made it to his room, he groaned and went to go look for his hat.
Now, any other side/person would've thought Deceit's request probably had nothing to do with the reason he was distressed the previous night. However, that little statement had confirmed everything that Logan had hypothesized already. He knew why he was crying, and he knew exactly what that meant. Was he going to tell the others? No.
Now you might be thinking "why not?"
Because, put simply, the others had had enough of his explanations, lectures, and definitions. He didn't think they would understand or care about what it meant either. They would lose interest, ignore him, dismiss his information as invalid.
He really did care about Deceit. He knows more about Deceit than Deceit even knows he knows about. He knows Deceit knows more about him, too. Does he care? No. He actually quite likes how someone can see past his hard exterior.Ā
Yes, it was hard to be the logical side. It would be harder to do his job, though, if the others hated him. Which was why he felt kind of bad for Deceit in a way. While filming SvS, he had to step in and stop the other. Not because he wanted to be rude- despite how rude it might've came off as to Deceit- but because he knew the others wouldn't listen. He knew the snake side wasn't going to get anywhere, and it was better if it was stopped before the deceptive side felt just as bad as he did when he himself was ignored. It wasn't worth it to keep going, because it would only hurt worse the longer it went on.
He made a mental note to keep the noise level to a minimum.
After a few minutes of silence, he decided enough was enough and that they were wasting time, "We all need to resume our individual work elsewhere. We are not accomplishing anything standing here except for 'effectively' wasting valuable time. If we are done here, we should disperse, as I believe we cannot properly do our part in helping Thomas without moving from this specific spot. I will leave now, and I expect everyone else, excluding Patton, to do the same. This is Patton's room, obviously, so technically he's where he needs to be. Apart from him-" He was cut off by a groan from Roman.
"Alright, alright we get it! We're leaving!" Roman said before sinking out with raised hands.
Virgil just shrugged, leaving silently with a peace sign.
After the last of the two left, Logan sighed and finally sunk out.Ā
Back in Deceit's room, panic was starting to rise as he searched everywhere for his hat. He just couldn't find it, and he didn't have another one. He was hyperventilating as he checked the floor for the twelfth time, sweaty with fear. It had to be there. It HAD to be there. As he searched, he felt more and more vulnerable and defenseless without his hat. He was searching for hours, having destroyed his room in the process. He was crying again by the end of it, on his knees in the middle of the room. His hair was messed up, his makeup even more messed up than before. He wanted his hat so badly, it was childish. It was so so childish but he NEEDED it. It was his hat for god sake. It was one of the only things that gave him comfort, the only thing beside it being his gloves. He felt stupid, but he also felt soā¦.exposed without that damn hat. Burn anything in his room, sure, he didn't care. The only things he ever cared about was his hat and gloves, so be it if everything else is gone. He was so annoyed, upset, anxious. All he wanted was his hat, was that too much to ask?
Back in Virgil's room, tucked discreetly into a drawer and covered by clothes, was a little black hat. Inside, hidden from the eyes of everyone, was a little embroidery of a two headed snake.
#sympathetic deceit#deceit sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#virgil sanders#unsympathetic virgil#loceit#phonophobia#tw#sanders sides#thomas sanders#abusive virgil
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Love your writing! A prompt for you: I'd love to see Phil reacting to people saying he doesn't love Dan as much as Dan loves him which I think is stupid??
So, if youāve read my fic Birthday Sex then you will know that I do not buy into this trope whatsoever, which i must say is a big reason I wrote it. I really just do not see where people are coming from when they say that Dan loves Phil more?? Maybe at the very, very beginning of their relationship it kind of seemed like Dan was a bit of an obsessed lovestruck young kiddo (spoiler: he was) but firstly, itās important to remember that we donāt get to see everything the two of them say to one another and we already know that Dan tends to share a lot more with the public than Phil does. For example, when has Phil ever (barr his Draw My Life and a few other sparse instances) ever revealed anything serious and personal about himself? Whereas Dan just yesterday opened up about something so deeply intimate that itās honestly baffling he had the courage at all. My point is that itās highly, highly likely that there were things said between them behind the scenes that we just did not have any knowledge of whatsoever. Iād draw your attention to the Video That Will Not Be Named as an example, because obviously (if you choose to ignore dnpāsĀ āexplanationā and see it as real/true) then it was NEVER meant to be seen by anyone except Dan. Think about that... if youtube hadnāt glitched, that video would not exist to us. How many more videos are there like this one? How many texts and phone calls and private conversations that are probably WAY more schmaltzy and incriminating??
Not only this, but as a follow up point, Phil is older, and he is maturer than Dan. The latter possibly gets less true as time goes on and Dan grows as a person (what a fantastic man heās becoming I stg im so proud), but certainly up until now, Phil has been the adult of the two of them. Donāt try telling me he acts like a child either, because thatās not the same thing - heās an entertainer for a family friendly YouTube channel, it doesnāt mean he isnāt a millionaire/business owner/well-educated, successful man. I find it not only silly that people expect him to be fawning over Dan every minute of the goddamn day on camera in order to prove his affection, but just ridiculously unrealistic. Heās a 30 year old man. If he is with Dan, then heās been in a committed relationship with him for years. Theyāre over the honeymoon stage. Theyāre into something far more serious and committed now, and itās a kind of love that doesnāt need to be shown at all times.Ā
Finally, I just want to add that apart from all Iāve said - neither of them (imo) show much sign of being madly in love with the other at all? I mean, you have to remember that we are a fandom, and itās so easy to pick apart something and pull out the bits you want to fit your ideal picture. There is evidence of them being a couple, yes, but thereās also evidence against it! Neither of them refer to one another asĀ āboyfriendā orĀ āpartnerā and I honestly doubt they ever will! Dan is not constantly gooey over Phil, and the same goes the other way around. It baffles me that people can dissect every one of their looks and actions (Iām guilty of it too of course) and come up with these absurd headcanons such asĀ āAWW DAn looks so in love here, and Phil looks so indifferentā because itās just... itās just completely ridiculous?? You have nothing to base that on whatsoever apart from a half second clip from a video - the leap to conclusion is beyond crazy.Ā
Idk I am aware i went off on a little ramble here, but this kind of thing is where the phandom descends into a total clusterfucky mess. Itās good to take a breather every once in a while and remind ourselves that the things we do know about the boys is very limited. OurĀ āevidenceā from the past is still just a bunch of tweets and videos, none of us know them. I donāt want to destroy any ships, because personally I think thereās a LOT of mystery and confusion shrouding their relationship which could absolutely mean something else is going on, but again, Iām not going to make any mad assumptions about anything because at the end of the day I just donāt know.Ā
ANYWAY. Nothing wrong with writing FICTION about this, and thatās what youāve asked for, so here my love! Thanks for the question (none of this was aimed at you btw! I know youāre just asking in general about the topic, I just wanted to share my thoughts on it).
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The comment catches his attention, and Phil isnāt sure why.Ā
Heās scrolling through the comment section of the latest DanAndPhilGAMES video, a smile playing on his mouth as he reads everyoneās reactions to Dilās latest adventures.Ā
Itās a treat he allows himself very rarely nowadays, to look through the comments. As Dan once said, it can be like picking through a minefield. Sure, the vast majority of the comments will be overwhelmingly positive, filled with adoration and appreciation of them both, lulling him into a false sense of security and then BAM! One will jump out, jarring him with its nasty words, or its negative perspective. Reading a mean comment can, even now, when there are literally thousands of nice once to combat it, throw Phil off-kilter for days.Ā
It can make him second guess every creative instinct. It can make him snappy and irritable, or just glum.Ā
This comment, though not exactly mean per se, is one such instance. He tries to ignore it, to just scroll past and move on with his life. Itās just a shipper comment, after all. Thatās what he and Dan call them. Around half the comments they get on their videos are from theĀ āshippersā. Itās fine. Usually neither of them pay any attention to them whatsoever.Ā
But this one has been upvoted 600 times. It has dozens of replies attached to it, clearly a topic of hot discussion. Phil scrolls back up, gnawing at his lip, and lets his eyes scan over the words again:
Itās so sad when Dan says something funny and looks at Phil all hopeful but Phil just ignores him. Heartbreaking to know that Dan will always love Phil more - ever since 2009. 3
Phil closes his laptop, wishing the words would dissolve from his brain. He shuts his eyes, but they burn behind his retinas, bright and jarring. Where do they get this stuff? Is that truly what people believe?Ā
He reopens his laptop and scrolls back up to the video, dragging the slider over the bar at the bottom of the window, scanning his and Danās faces for any signs of what that subscriber had said.Ā
As he scrolls through the video for the sixth time, squinting at the screen, he feels Dan flop down onto the sofa beside him, crunching something. Phil sits up, turning to Dan with warm cheeks, feeling caught out.Ā
Dan raises an eyebrow at him, glancing at the screen. He offers Phil a crisp from the packet in his hands.Ā
āWatching phan videos again?ā Dan asks him, smiling.Ā
āJust... checking the comments on the Dil vid.ā Phil tells him, and Dan sighs knowingly, placing the crisp packet aside.Ā
āOh God, whatāve they said now?ā Dan asks, shuffling towards Phil in order to see.Ā
Phil wonders if he should even mention this to Dan; it seems like it might be worse for him to know the fans seem to think this way, after all. Inevitably though, Phil breaks, not able to think up a good enough lie.Ā
With some reluctance, he scrolls down to the comment, and waits for Dan to read it, chewing his lip.Ā
āOh,ā Dan says in a strange voice, sitting upright.Ā āThatās... I thought it was gonna be likeĀ āgay emo dicksā or something.āĀ
Phil laughs a little, but itās a hollow, unconvincing sound.Ā āYou know that... thatās not true, right?āĀ
Dan looks at him, something small and fearful hidden deep in the recesses of his eyes.Ā āYeah.ā
He doesnāt sound very convinced, and it worries Phil immensely.Ā āYouāre my whole world, Dan.ā Phil tells him with complete sincerity; Dan looks away, obviously embarrassed by the loaded emotion.Ā āI know it sounds melodramatic. But you are. Youāre my best friend, my favourite person in the world. I love you so much itās crazy.ā
Thereās a choke to Danās voice when he next speaks.Ā āYeah,ā he says again, sniffing.Ā āI dunno where they get their weird ideas, tbh.ā
Phil pushes his laptop off his knee, reaching for Dan and pulling him in. He holds him tight, pressing firm kisses into his soft curls.Ā āIām sorry if it ever comes off that way.ā Phil tells him, voice a whisper of itself.Ā āIām sorry if Iāve ever made you feel that I might not... love you as much.ā
Dan shakes his head.Ā āDonāt be stupid.ā He pulls away a little, looking up into Philās eyes, his smile watery.Ā āI know how much you love me, you sap.ā
Phil surveys him carefully, scanning his face for signs of a lie. Eventually a smirk creeps onto his lips, and Dan zeroes in on it, confused.Ā
āWell,ā Phil purrs, leaning forwards until their lips brush.Ā āIf you ever need a reminder...āĀ
Dan snorts with laughter, trying to wriggle free of his grip. A few kisses later, however, he seems to give in.Ā Ā
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