#so to everyone seeing Brendon tonight: have so much fun!!!

[2elle2furious]

Feeling very :(

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[sanderssideswriting]

ship: prinxiety, background intrulogical

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing, like one sexual innuendo, very breif mention of murder (as a joke, this is fluff after all) 

summary: Radio AU where Virgil runs the 11-1 am radio on his college and every night someone calls to complain about his music selections and request disney, and Virgil never plays disney.

Virgil sat in his swivel chair and put on the headphones “sup bitches I’m back and this time with like three monsters because finals are a bitch and sleep can suck my dick. The first song of the night is Lotta True Crime by Peneople Scott. Why? Because I say it is that’s why.” Virgil put the song on and worked on his final project as the songs played.

The phone rang and Virgil groaned and checked the number. This dick again. He picked up and put it on air since people seemed to love listening to him and disney guy argue. 

“listen asshole if you want to listen to Disney so fucking badly then apply for a spot and stop calling me.”

there’s a laugh “how about you just play some disney then? if you do I’ll stop calling. Because your music taste sucks.”

Virgil rolls his eyes “bitch apply for an opening and have a disney hour. And let me listen to my music, because not everyone loves fucking disney.” 

“Well many people do so why not play one song.”

Virgil snorts “first no, and second if I had to I’d make everyone regret it and play let it go.”

“Let it go is great!”

“bye bye Princey, stop calling”

Virgil hung up “and since Princey called you know what we’re playing? MCR because I know he hates it. So this one’s for you princey, up next after this ad because this place needs money. By the way if you’re not a broke bitch donate because this job is like kinda decent and I like making you all listen to the music I like. Blood by MCR is up next” Virgil played the ad and leaned back in his chair.

“Why do you take his calls if you know he’ll just be annoying?” Janus asks in class.

Virgil shrugs “since it started I get more listeners which is good for the station.”

“I think it’s funny, cause you two have cute pet names for each other, princey and emo nightmare” Remus says.

Virgil elbows him “they’re not pet names.”

“they are,” Janus says, moving so Virgil couldn’t elbow him.

Roman waits to dial the number, he had to admit he sort of enjoyed his and emo nightmare’s conversations, who refused to reveal his name or grade.

At first they’d been annoying and he’d genuinely complained about all the emo music and asking to play disney but it’d soon become a nightly ritual, that had very quickly ruined Roman’s sleep schedule.

He dialed the number “seriously, why all the emo music, emo nightmare?”

“you just answered your own question princey, why the obsession with disney songs princey? See? Sounds fucking stupid.”

Roman sighs dramatically “you wound me emo nightmare. But seriously what’ll it take to get you to play ONE disney song?”

“a hundred grand, that’s how much the station needs to keep running, do that and I’ll play ONE disney song.”

“four.”

“Three songs and a hundred and fifty grand, fifty grand per song. final offer. and I get to pick the songs.’

Roman nods “deal,”

“oh and, you have until the end of finals to get the money donated, and I’ll make the gofundme, not you.”

That’s like a month and a half away Roman thinks I’ll have enough time. “sure thing emo nightmare.”

Roman’s emo hung up. He smiles like an idiot.

“Why not ask him out? it’s clear you’re fond of him” Roman’s roommate Logan says from his side of the room.

“ask out a guy I don’t even know the name of? yeah sure” Roman snorts.

“what? Scared you’ll be rejected? I cannot believe I’m saying this, but Roman I am getting more dick then you have been ever since you started talking to your radio boy.” Logan says in an even tone.

Roman pretends to gag “you don’t need to tell me how much you and my brother have done it Logan, you two being together is enough for me to want to bleach my eyes.”

“you’re no better whenever you’re going out with someone, or even hooked up with a slightly above average guy.”

Remus barged in “Loooo I need help studying.”

Roman stood up “that’s my queue to leave.”

Remus watches Roman go “so what where you two talking about?”

“oh you know, he’s still calling the campus radio station to ask for disney songs” Logan says.

“Wait, Roman is Princey?” Remus asks, he starts laughing

“Yes? You didn’t know?”

Remus cackles “no! oh this is great! My best friend Virgil does the 11 to 1 radio, he’s Emo Nightmare and Roman is his Princey”

“We could set them up, Roam is so lovesick, I swear he’s head over heels for him and he hasn’t even met Virgil” Logan says.

Remus gasps “this is why I love you! Of course we’re going to set them up.”

Logan and Remus came up with a plan, they’d invite Roman and Virgil to a study session and then never showed up, leaving Virgil and Roman to wait.

Virgil puts on his headphones and starts loudly playing panic at the disco and reading over his shitty notes.

Someone taps him on the shoulder “hey can you turn the emo shit down, I’m trying to study and it’s really loud.”

Virgil turns it down a bit “that good?”

he nods “yeah, where you also ghosted for a study session?”

“Yeah I was, my best friend and his nerdy boyfriend where supposed to help me study, they probably forgot all about me.” Virgil says.

“Logan And Remus? Remus is my brother and Logan’s my roommate” Roman says.

“Yeah, well since we’re both here we could study together if you want” please say no please say no.

“Sounds good!” Roman says.

Fuck.

Virgil and Roman studied for awhile and Virgil very slowly started warming up to Roman. “ah shit I have to go, see you round I guess” Virgil says packing up his stuff, he wanted to have some alone time before his shift.

“ok Bye Virgil,” Roman says packing up, he had to go do his own thing, which would probably end up becoming a quick nap before his emo nightmare started his turn being the radio host.

Virgil sat in the chair “what up bitches, so far the goal has 10k, so no disney tonight, or ever because this is on a time crunch and 150k is a fuck ton of money for broke college students. And now onto Fuck you by Lily Allen. Why? Because she’s underrated and because I said so.” Virgil played the song.

Virgil got the call around 12:30 “you’re calling later then usual princey, and no, no disney tonight.”

“Oh I was just about to ask. And also I was asking how to find the gofundme.”

“It’s on the UCLA radio website, can’t miss it. Now let me do my fucking job” Virgil hung up and played MCR as was tradition.

What he didn’t know was Roman recorded the phone call and posted it everywhere he could anonymously and waited.

Virgil checked the go fund me in the morning “it has fifty k already?! What the fuck? Princey what did you do?”

Virgil waited for the nightly call “Hey what the fuck how is the goal at sixty k? How the fuck princey?”

He laughed “I asked the internet for help, I think most of it’s from tiktok, you’re going to have to play disney emo nightmare”

“fuck you princey and your stupid obsession with disney.”

“you have an obsession with my chemical romance and Brendon Urie”

“name three other artists I play on here then bitch.”

“Mother Mother, Lily Allen and as of late Derivakat” Roman says without hesitation.

Virgil was speechless for a second, then hung up. “fucking bitch, you guys know what time it is” he played Teenagers.

A week and a half passed and the funds had slowly been going up, and Virgil and Roman’s calls continued nightly as usual.

Virgil and Roman met up a few times to study for finals, sometimes with Remus and Logan, sometimes without.

the goal just barely missed the end of finals. Virgil smirked “No disney today, or ever because you people missed the goal byyyyy” Virgil checked the go fund me “three thousand dollars. I’d say better luck next time but there won’t be a next time.” he chuckled. The phone rang and Virgil picked up, knowing it was Princey.

“oooh too late princey no disney songs during my shift.”

“you might want to check the gofundme one last time my dear emo nightmare.”

Virgil refreshes the page “first of all, I’m not yours bitch second- what the fuck, how?” the goal had been met.

Roman laughs “play the disney emo. Play. The fucking. Disney.”

Virgil could tell he was gonna gloat so he hung up.

Virgil grumbles and gets the disney queued “ok fine the goal was met, so time for my suffering, I have queued Fixer Upper from Frozen because it’s a shitty song with a shitty message. Make a man out of you because I like Mulan and for everyone’s inconvenience I have How Far I’ll Go so have fun with that stuck in your head.”

Roman was a bit insulted when Emo nightmare hung up on him, so he called him back once the songs had ended “wasn’t so hard was it?”

“for you maybe, it was for me,” Virgil hung up and blocked the number.

Over the Summer both Virgil and Roman found themselves missing their talks. Roman so much so he applied for one of the newly opened spots for the next semester from 2-5 pm.

Virgil drove onto campus at 4, putting on campus radio and was met with disney. the song ended and the new host spoke “and I hope everyone liked that, up now is a short commercial break.”

Virgil nearly swerved off the road and pulled over and called the station.

Roman picked up. “Hey what the actual FUCK?” Virgil says as soon as he does.

Roman laughs “oh how the tables have turned Emo Nightmare”

“I hate you, I fucking hate you what the actual fuck princey”

he laughed more “You yourself said that working here is nice, and there was an opening, so I took it. You should be happy, I mean now I won’t brother you about playing disney.”

Virgil frowned “yeah yeah, whatever princey have fun with that.”

“oh I will emo nightmare, I absolutely will.” Roman hung up feeling happy in a way he hadn’t felt all summer.

Virgil unpacked his stuff in his new dorm, he was a little pissed but also excited. Maybe he and princey would finally meet face to face. Why am I excited about that? I hate him, at the least he annoyed me every day for months, but he did raise a bunch of money. Even if his disney obessed ass is super annoying.

Roman walked in at 6 “hey Virgil, I’m guessing you’re going to be my roommate?”

Virgil looked up from his laptop “I guess, don’t take my monsters from the fridge and we’ll be golden, or blast disney 24/7″

Roman chuckled “what do you have against disney?”

“Micky Mouse killed my parents in front of me after I said that Merida was my favorite princess.” Virgil said dryly.

Roman chuckled “that’s why I dedicated my life to the mouse.”

“That’s why I swore to get my revenge on the mouse.”

“I won’t blast disney 24/7 but you can’t blast your emo music.” Roman says

Virgil snorted “dude I have the worst anxiety I don’t even own a speaker. so you don’t blast your music, I won’t blast mine and we’ll be fine.”

“Deal,”

Roman called that night like always and Virgil was ready “aww Princey, did you miss me that much?”

“not really, but I’m still trying to get you to willingly play a disney song.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “you know what, it’s a new year, time for a new leaf, I’ll humor you princey and play a disney song.”

“wait really?”

Virgil queued up Mad At Disney “no.” he hung up and the song started.

Virgil and Roman went back to their usual routine of lowkey flirting with each other during Virgil’s shift, and sometimes during Roman’s.

They where getting along well as roomates but hadn’t figured out that they where each other’s Princey and emo nightmare.

Somehow he and Princey had gotten into an argument about if Cruella would be a good or bad movie. Roman had hope it would be, Virgil wasn’t so convinced.

“Princey, she is a completely evil character, she can’t be redeemable, she shouldn’t be. She wanted to make puppies into a coat, that’s fucked up. There’s no black and white she’s bad and that’s that.”

“Maybe if you gave the movie a chance!”

“fuck no! did you not hear what I just fucking said?”

“then how about we see it then we can see who’s right?”

“fine, I’m free at three this Satuday.” Virgil said, way too caught up in the moment.

“same, see you then emo nightmare, I’ll be by the doors waiting.”

“fine, but I’m going to be right.”

“then it’s a date!”

“I guess it is!” Virgil hung up.

he didn’t realize he’d said yes to going out on a date with a guy he didn’t even know until the next day.

The whole campus was freaking out about it since the station had blown up quite a bit because of Virgil and Roman’s nightly arguments. 

Roman left early, he’d dressed up a bit, and had a disney shirt with a little crown logo on it, it wasn’t that obvious but he figured it’d be telling enough.

Virgil put on a bit more eyeliner then usual and fishnets under his ripped jeans but that was about it, he chose to be petty and waited until about 3:20 to go to the doors where Roman wait waiting.

Virgil walked passed him at first. Roman saw him “emo nightmare?”

Virgil stopped “are you fucking kidding me?” he got a few glares from parents. “You’re princey? my fucking roommate?”

“I did not plan that, but yeah I am, and you’re my emo nightmare.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “still not yours princey, come on the movies about to start.”

They exited the movie and Virgil grinned “I fucking told you it’d be bad, I told you!”

“yeah yeah, you did it was bad. Want to get some coffee?”

“sure, I’ll pay,” Virgil said casually.

Roman grinned “I’ll win you over one day my emo nightmare.”

“stop begging me to play disney music and maybe you will.”

[dirty-urie]

Going Down

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

PFTW Era

Flash Fic

1.5k Words

Warnings: elevator blowjob

A/n: Just a little baby fic because there's only so much you can do in an elevator, but while writing this I remembered that I'm a pillow princess, so I'm very willing to right a sequel where Brendon pays back his debts.

"Sorry, guys, our rooms won't be ready for another hour," Zack says, walking away from the front desk.

The band grumbles, looking forward to a long shower and clean bedsheets after so long on the bus. Brendon looks composed, but you know he's the most upset out of all of them.

You flew in that morning to surprise him, knowing tonight was a hotel night. He's been getting more and more anxious to get his hands on you in the last two weeks. Your Skype calls went from long chats about your days to him looking distracted and antsy from wanting to touch you through the screen. You had to tell him off more than once that he can't text you anything nasty without warning in case someone could see your phone. You ended up keeping "do not disturb" on your phone all week, so he could have that freedom, and you wouldn't have to worry about your coworkers getting a glance at his "I'm so fucking hard for you right now" messages.

Now that the chance to act on that lust is dangling just out of reach, you can feel the tension rolling off him. "What should we do for an hour then?" You ask. Zack turns to the person behind the desk, and she tells you all about the bar downstairs at ground level. That lifts everyone's spirits, and they all make their way to the elevator.

Only a few minutes pass, but Nicole's tapping her foot impatiently. "Ugh, this is taking forever. I should be on my third shot by now," she complains. "Fuck it, let's take the stairs," she says after another thirty seconds. Zack and the band follow her, but as Brendon passes you, you grab his arm, stopping him. "Actually, guys, I messed up my ankle this morning trying to get to my gate on time," you call to the group. "Brendon and I are gonna take the elevator. You guys go party."

"You sure?" Zack asks, always worried for your safety, but the lobby is empty, and you're not afraid to pepper spray a crazy fan if you have to.

You shoo them off. "Yeah, go have fun. I like to be fashionably late anyway. Drinks are on Brendon." That gets rid of them, and they all race downstairs to get to the bar. Brendon shoots you a playfully dirty look, but you know he would have sneakily closed out everyone's tab anyway.

Once they're out of eye-shot, Brendon takes the opportunity to pull you against his side and kiss your cheek. "You didn't tell me you were hurt," he says, sounding a little hurt himself.

"That's because I'm not hurt."

"What? Babe, you just said-"

You pat his head with equal parts affection and condescension, "It's called a lie, stupid. I just wanted a few minutes alone with you," you explain.

He laughs. "Wow, deceiving everyone. How cool and badass of you."

"I know."

The elevator dings, and four people step out, leaving it empty. You both get in, and you pull up your hair as you wait anxiously for doors to close before anyone else can get on. After the doors close, you waste no time pushing him to the corner of the elevator with your hand on his chest. "Can I be cool and badass one more time?" You ask, eyes wide and pleading.

"Always," he answers, and you push the stop elevator button, bracing for an alarm. No alarm goes off, but you do feel the elevator halt. You kiss him deeply on his mouth and drop to your knees. You mouth over the growing bulge in his pants while he leans back in the corner casually. His tense arms and hardening cock are the only evidence that you're affecting him yet.

He looks down at you, "You gonna go down on me, sweet girl?" Brendon asks.

You sit back on your heels. "If you'll let me. Please, baby," you beg.

He chuckles. "As if I wouldn't let you suck me off," he says. "There is probably a camera in here though, are you okay with that?"

As soon as he gives you the okay, you lunge for his belt, fumbling in your desperation. "I've already considered the risks," you assure him. "I would have blown you in the middle of the bar if I didn't think we'd get arrested before I'd get your hot come down my throat," you tell him. That cracks through his composure, and he nudges your hands away. He undoes his belt himself, the sight of his long fingers working sending a thrill through you. "You nice and hard for me, baby?" You ask him, though you already know the answer. "Are you aching for me to get my mouth on you?"

Brendon's mouth is slack, but his eyebrows are screwed together tightly. "I'm so turned on for you. Always, but especially right now when you're on your knees for me in a fucking elevator because you're so desperate to get me in your mouth," he answers, voice breathy in anticipation. He moves his hands away from his belt back onto the handrail as soon as he's done. You quickly unbutton his pants and unzip them. You pull his cock out eagerly. You usually take a half-second to admire him, the way he gets so flushed and beautiful for you when he's really hard, but this time you don’t hesitate at all before you take his sensitive head in your mouth, licking at the slit. He groans in appreciation.

You suck him down deeper to get him wet enough for you to stroke him. His head drops back against the mirrored wall, and you can't see them, but you can envision how his eyes must be rolling back too. "Fuck," he exclaims, "that's so good. I love you sucking me off. That sweet, perfect pressure around my dick makes those two weeks of waiting for you worth it." You back off slightly and then suck him all the way near his base, sheer determination overriding any gag reflex. You don't move for a few seconds as you suck as hard as you can. His knees weaken, and he brings a hand to the top of your head, not pushing or shoving, just resting his hand and stroking the top of your hair with his fingers. "God, your hot, slick mouth," he moans. "Can't believe I went so long without this. You're incredible, my love. Absolutely incredible."

Pride swells through you at his laudatory ramblings. You bob on his cock quicker, frantic to get him off.

"And I have every intention of paying you back 10 times over," Brendon says, "just not in this elevator. I'd happily do it. You know I would, but my perfect girl deserves better than the floor." His cock twitches almost violently in your mouth. You taste precome in the back of your throat.

You pop off his dick, replacing your mouth with your hand, "You thinking about just how you're gonna pay me back, baby? Is that what's getting you all worked up?" You ask before putting your mouth back on him.

"There are very few things in life that I like more than you going down on me, but going down on you definitely takes the top spot. Gonna lay you down and just eat you out until you're screaming and coming all over my face. Then I'll fuck you slowly and sweetly, relishing every second of being inside you. And when we're done, I'll return the favor for real. I'll take you to the shower and drop to my knees just like you did for me. I'll run my hands up those perfect legs until you're trembling in anticipation for me to lick at that clit while I finger you," he describes, thrusting shallowly into your mouth while he talks.

You can't help but moan around his cock, and he shivers at the new sensation. "Oh God, I'm about to come if that's okay with you, beautiful," he warns. "Seeing the top of your head moving so excitedly over me, knowing how your lips are stretched to accommodate for me, feeling you swallow me down. I'm surprised I've lasted this long."

You give him the all-clear, eager to have him coming for you. Precome is practically coating your mouth, and it's a tease. You choke him down, using your hand wherever you can for extra stimulation. Brendon shudders when he comes, body wracked with total bliss. He slumps back against the wall. You swallow his come greedily, and he mumbles praises for you. You let him catch his breath for a minute before you tuck him back into his pants. He helps you up and pulls you into his arms, "Thank you so much. I don't think I'm going to be able to walk out those doors and pretend that I didn't just get blown in an elevator," he pants.

You shrug, smirking, and then pull back the stop button. "Brendon, no matter how good your acting is, people are going to know you just got blown in an elevator. Just embrace it."

[super-unpredictable98]

Celebrity Glamour (Vegas Baby series)

Fandom: Misfits Pairing: Nathan x Lydia (OC - Hard Candy’ verse) Word Count: 1.4k  Warning: Strong language, alcohol a/n: the second part of the Vegas Baby series is probably the most self-indulgent piece of fanfiction I’ve ever written lol enjoy 

(Masterlist)

"Why are you trying to impress me?"

Nathan was sitting, spread on the couch while making a casino chip appear and  disappear between his fingers.

"Who told you I'm tryin' to impress you?" he scoffed.

"I think you are... Cause of what happened earlier."

"Oh, that little thing? That was nothin'."

"Nathan you fainted in the Skyjump and nearly puked on me, I wouldn't say that was nothing."

"Well..."

"Wait a second, is Nathan Young embarrassed of something?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not embarrassed of anythin'," he puffed his chest. "And if you really wanna get impressed, I can impress ya."

Nathan showed me the chip on his hand, then with a flourish, it disappeared. He gave me a pointed look and waggled his brows.

"What?" I asked without understanding.

"You'll see..."

"Oh fuck!" I uncomfortably shivered as I felt something inside of me. I reached under my knickers and pulled the chip out, agape.

"Ta-da!" Nathan grinned.

"I can't fucking believe you just made me give birth to a chip! That's disgusting, even for you!"

"But you gotta admit it, that was impressive... Aren't you a little bit turned on with how powerful I am?"

"You're such a twat," I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Do we have time to hit the pool district?"

"I wish... I need to get ready. I promise we'll go tomorrow, yeah?"

"Fine," he pouted.

My performance was gonna start in about two hours. I had to run to The Chelsea to get dressed, get my makeup done, and everything ready for the concert. Nathan was there, as always, to give me support, help around, and make stupid jokes to calm my nerves.

The crowd was huge, I think that was the first time I sang in front of that many people. It felt awesome, people were excited, total serotonin rush.

"I love it when you go crazy, you take all my inhibitions. Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back," Nathan smirked. "Are you sure you didn't write that song for  me?"

"No, it isn't mine," I whispered. "It's by Shawn Mendes."

"Who's that?"

"Right now, a 12-year-old boy."

"You're stealin' from a kid? Shame on you, Lollipop..."

"Oh, shut up!"

"That was insane!" Nikki arrived backstage followed by the rest of the gang.

"Everyone loved you, Peanut," Simon hugged me.

"Yeah, people are freaking out," Alisha smiled.

"Why don't we hit the club to celebrate?" Kelly suggested. "I heard about this place, Vanity at the Hard Rock, we should go."

"Lyds must be tired after the show," Curtis commented.

"No, I'm fine, let's go!" I got up.

I gave a few autographs on my way out and we all headed to the Hard Rock Hotel. Luckily we got in with no issues, but the place was packed. We found ourselves a little corner with a table and ordered a few drinks.

"To Lyddie!" Nathan raised his beer.

"To Lyddie!" everyone cheered and I felt warm inside.

Nikki and Curtis went to the dance floor, Kelly was flirting with a guy. The rest of us was talking, drinking, and occasionally snogging our respective partners. It was a fun night, but it was about to get so much better:

"I'm gonna get another drink," I put my empty glass on the table.

"Wow, someone's feelin' wild tonight..." Nathan teased.

"I'll come with you," Alisha followed.

We both headed to the bar, she ordered a vodka tonic and I got a beer.

"So, how do you like Vegas?" I asked. "Is it everything you imagined?"

"It's fantastic, way better than I imagined. It's so colorful, so full of life, so..." she  stopped talking abruptly and poked my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I looked around.

"Isn't that the bloke from your shirt?"

"What?"

"Over there, the Panic guy, he's checking you out."

Alisha discreetly pointed at a corner where Brendon Urie was sitting, drinking whiskey and most definitely looking at us.

"I think he's checking you out, Lisha."

"Me? No way!"

"Brendon Urie is not looking at me... I'm me!"

"And what's wrong with that?" she laughed. "Come on, let's talk to him."

"No, Lisha, that'll do Nathan's head in."

"I can't believe you're throwing away the chance to meet your idol because of Nathan! Come on, it's not like you're gonna do anything!"

"You don't know this story, but I have a little bit of a trauma with friends dragging  me and forcing me to talk to attractive blokes..."

"If you don't wanna come, I will," Alisha took her drink.

"No, hold on, I'm going..." I took a generous sip of mine, hopefully the alcohol would help.

I followed her towards Brendon, but as soon as we got there, she tapped my shoulder and whispered:

"Good luck," she left with a giggle and went back to the spot where the others were waiting.

"Alisha..." I hissed, hopelessly.

"Hey," Brendon flashed me that absolutely dazzling, breathtaking smile.

"H-hi," I tried not to freak.

"Lyddie Young, right? I watched you earlier."

"Yeah, that's me," I couldn't believe Brendon fucking Urie knew my name.

"You're really good, your songs are... Something else."

"Thank you, it means a lot to me," I gave up on trying to act all cool.  "I'm a huge fan of yours."

"Oh, really?" he smirked.

"Yeah!"

"And what's your favorite song?" he gently placed his hand over mine and I had to take a few deep breaths not to faint on the spot.

"That Green Gentleman," I nearly choked on my drink from the way he looked at me. Truth is my favorite song was Far Too Young To Die or Vegas Lights, but he doesn't know they exist yet.

"Things have changed for me, and that's ok, I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say..." he mindlessly sang, leaning in closer to me.

"Oh dear Lord," I muttered under my breath. "You're actually singing... To me!"

"I love that song too."

"So, are you in Vegas to visit your family?"

"Yeah, I like to come here and see some old friends."

"That's awesome, I also like to go back to my hometown whenever I can. Actually, I live there, but touring has been... Is everything alright?" I tilted my head, noticing he was staring into my eyes as if he was hypnotized.

"You know, Lyddie... You are really beautiful."

Brendon fixed his glasses and my breath hitched as my gaze wandered between his lovely brown eyes and his juicy lips.

"Thanks?" I breathed. "You're really handsome."

Without giving me any time to react, Brendon pulled me closer and kissed me, I hated how amazing that felt. I had to use every single ounce of willpower to push him away from me.

"Brendon, I'm engaged," I panted. "And you have Sarah, what the fuck?"

"Well, I won't tell if you don't," he whispered, moving once again to kiss me.  "This can be our little secret."

"You have no idea how many times I imagined this moment, kissing your poster in my room, but I can't," I stopped him halfway. "I'm sorry, I really love my fiancé,  he doesn't deserve this."

"Wow, he's a lucky guy."

"I'm lucky to have him, actually I should probably go find him..."

I tried to leave, but Brendon held my hand. His frown was replaced with a cheeky grin.

"No need, Lollipop."

"Nathan?" I gaped. "Were you trying to see if I'd cheat on you?"

"No, no, that's not it," he cackled. "I wanted to give you a little treat, but I have to admit, it was pretty heartwarmin' to watch you reject Brendon Urie because of me."

"What can I say? I love you, you prick..."

"So, d'you wanna shag me lookin' like this?" he gestured towards his new body.

"No, I wanna shag you looking like yourself."

"Are you sure? I mean... I won't be mad, it was my idea."

"Natty, I told you when we started going together, I only like lanky twats with curly hair," I chuckled. "Now give me my fiancé back, please."

Nathan's glamour slowly wore off and he smiled that childish smile I love so much.

"So, you don't think I'm a cunt after what happened at the Skyjump?"

"Of course not, I'm just glad you are okay... And didn't puke on me."

"So when you said you wanted to shag me looking like myself, did you mean like now or...?"

Tag List: @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @misskittysmagicportal @nightingale-rose

[cynergy-laughter]

Meet The Family: Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All!

Fanfic Series by: @cynergy-laughter

(Featuring: Defined MC) (Fluff, comedy, angst) (PG-rated)

Chapter 1: A Letter From Home (Word Count: 3,463)

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*

*

*

Summer is finally here. RAD classes were out and Brendon took the time to walk home alone today. He was excited to see what Summer had in mind for him, another beach trip? A hot springs town? The possibilities were endless. You had so much fun fantasizing that you didn’t notice you had someone accompanying your stroll home.

“Happy Summer, Brendon.” Solomon smiled handsomely while Brendon was shaken from his summer fantasy.

“O-Oh! Hey Solomon, happy summer!” He smiles back, “How long were you next to me?”

“About two minutes, but I have something for you. I was informed that there is a service in the Devildom that allows exchange human students to get mail from their world. It’s over at Akuzon. And I was told to give you this, it looked important.” Solomon said, handing him a letter.

“Oh?” Brendon said as he looked at the envelope and his eyes widened as he saw the return address. “T-Thank you Solomon, I have to hurry home, I hope you have an awesome summer!” He said, hurrying off to the House of Lamentation.

“And I hope you have a good summer too…” Solomon said smiling.

Brendon made it around the corner from when he put the letter in his bag, and continued on towards the gates and into the House of Lamentation. He listened closely to see if anyone was home. Good, it sounded quiet. He went on through to his room and closed the door before changing out of his uniform and into his everyday clothes, a shirt, kilt, and his long black double zipper hoodie before taking the letter out, beginning to open it up.

___________

“Dear Brendon,

It’s your mom, how are you? I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to write to you because I didn’t see you last summer’s annual family vacation, and was worried. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up.

But I wanted to let you know that we will be going on our annual vacation this summer, and I wanted to invite you. All your brothers are gonna be there. And we all felt a part of us was missing last year. And Davey said he had a surprise for us all this summer so we’re all excited for this summer.

I really hope you’re doing well abroad, and hope this letter finds you in good health. I hope to hear from you soon. I love you so much. We love you so much.

Your dearest mother,

Lydia.”

___________

Brendon bit his lip and realized he didn’t even get in contact with his family during his time in the Devildom. He put the letter down and began to dial a number on his D.D.D.

“Hello? DeHallows Residence, Lydia speaking.” The sweet voice on the other side spoke.

“Hi Mom, it’s Brendon.”

“Brendon? Brendon! Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you’re okay! I was worried sick.” Lydia sounded so relieved on the phone, it made Brendon tear up.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, I was busy, and didn’t have much in the way of communication… I finally got your letter. How are you?”

“I’m doing so much better now that I know you’re okay… oh, and I’m glad you got my letter, I wanted to see if you were gonna be able to make it this year. We’re going over to Kyoto.”

“I would have to check with my roommates, cause we were gonna do something for summer. But I can definitely look into it. Umm, do you know if Dad was gonna make an appearance?”

“Honestly I don’t know, honey… I know you two don’t see eye to eye… on a lot of things, but I don’t want to think about ‘what if he shows up’, rather, I want to look forward to seeing you. I’m currently packing for our two month trip, and I have most of your brothers here at home, spending the weekend before we head to the airport early on Monday.”

“I see… yeah of course… Hehe, are they just as excited as you?”

“Ohohoho sweetie, excited is an understatement. They are all getting on each other’s nerves here. It’s like none of them moved out. Although Davey is already at our vacation destination, getting it prepped up. He’s been very busy. But he’s been on the grind ever since high school, you know how he is, I just hope he isn’t working himself sick. Maybe this is what all the family needs.”

“Yeah… Well, if I do come, would it be okay to bring my roommates along?”

“Oh of course! The more the merrier! I’m sure Davey wouldn’t mind.”

“Awesome! Thanks mom. Well, I gotta go, I think I’m in charge of dinner tonight…”

“Oh of course, I would give the phone to your brothers, but they had just left before you called. I’ll be sure to pass on the message, I’m so glad you called me, Brendon…”

“I’m sorry I missed them… but tell them I miss them and that I’m okay.”

“You bet honey. Well I’ll let you go, sleep well, and I love you.”

“I love you too, sleep well too. Bye.” Brendon said with a smile and laid down on his bed, sighing.

————

At dinner, everyone was up to their usual energy and antics, Mammon was getting into it with Levi again, Asmo and Satan were having a bit of a discussion amongst themselves, Beelzebub was getting seconds, Belphegor was watching Mammon and Levi going at it. Lucifer was eating peacefully, but noticed Brendon was kind of silent, picking at his food a bit.

“Brendon? Is something on your mind?” Lucifer asked, and Brendon blinked awake from his trance to look at Lucifer.

“Huh? I’m sorry, what did you say?” Brendon shook his head a bit.

“I’m saying you’ve barely touched your food. Is something the matter?” Lucifer put his fork down gently and met Brendon’s eyes.

Brendon blinked as he looked into Lucifer’s eyes, he then noticed that it was silent, he turned his head to see everyone was looking at him.

“Brendon, are you not feeling well?” Asmo asked, frowning.

“You aren’t in trouble are you?” Mammon asked, “If anyone hurt you, I’ll kick their butt!”

“You have been pretty quiet ever since you came back home.” Satan concerned, “But I’d be happy to join Mammon in any efforts if you were threatened.”

“N-No… it’s nothing like that… it’s… I got a letter from my mom… and she was worried about me cause I didn’t show up or contact her about attending our family’s annual summer vacation…” Brendon shook his head and waved his hands in assurance.

“You got a letter from your Mom? Down in the Devildom?” Beel asked, tilting his head.

“Oooohhh, Lord Diavolo was talking about that at the student council meeting today… right?” Asmo said, resting his chin on his hand.

“Y-Yes! Akuzon is apparently making a service that will allow postage from the human world to come to the Devildom. In response to the exchange program of course.” Levi said excitedly.

“Oh, so I take it that it’s a success then, we’ll I’m glad to hear the positive progress.” Lucifer said as he continued eating.

“Yeah… and I called my mom and she asked if I would be attending the family vacation this year… I said that I would ask you all, cause I didn’t know if we had any plans.”

Everyone suddenly stopped and looked at Brendon.

“You’re thinking about leaving for vacation?” Belphegor asked, tilting his head.

“Well, I wanted to know if I could bring you all along… meet my family, you know?” Brendon smiles, sounding hopeful.

“Brendon… I don’t know if we’ll be able to. We wouldn’t really be the kind of people to bring along to a family event…” Lucifer said, “And even then, we would have to present the vacation to Lord Diavolo…”

“Whaaaat? Come on, Lucifer, we are able to go on trips to London, why can’t we just go on a trip like this?” Mammon whined and frowned.

“Because Mammon, we have duties and responsibilities as members of the student council. And plus, that London trip almost ended in disaster because you couldn’t keep out of trouble, even with me and Satan watching over you.” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Mammon.

“When’s the vacation start, Brendon?” Asmo leaned in, tilting his head.

“My mom and brothers go to the airport on Monday, heading for Kyoto, so I guess it’ll start on Tuesday.” Brendon said, looking at everyone.

“We can see about talking with Lord Diavolo about it, but we can’t make any promises.” Lucifer said. “It might just be one or two of us if we get the okay…”

Brendon smiles and nodded. “I would appreciate that… I really want you guys to meet my mom and my brothers.”

“Oh yeah, you did mention to me that you have siblings. How many in total?” Beel asked, as he continued eating.

“Including me, seven.” Brendon chuckles. “You’ll like them.”

“Seven? Where do you stand in age?” Satan raised an eyebrow.

“I think I’m the second youngest child… yeah. Second youngest.” Brendon nodded as he went back to eating.

Everyone else began looking at each other, seven brothers?

———

Brendon had been listening to music in his room after dinner, when there was a knock on the door.

“Brendon? It’s Mammon. Can I come in?” He said from outside the room.

“It’s unlocked.” Brendon yawned slightly as he sat up a bit. “What’s up?”

“Well… it’s about your trip… I don’t wanna be stuck here for the summer, so… I want you to bring me with you, if it turns out that we can’t all go.” Mammon said, crossing his arms.

“Huh? I mean, I don’t really know who I would pick… like everyone of you would have pros and cons about going…” Brendon turned to Mammon on his bed.

“I mean, I’m your first, so I should be your first pick. There should be no debate about it.” Mammon sat next to you. “And what do you mean pros and cons? I am a pro all the way around!”

“Mammon, you have no sense of direction… you have sticky fingers, and some of my brothers are very possessive of their stuff, you tend to say before you think, and the biggest con is that you are literally a con artist.” Brendon listed, weighing in.

“... H-Hey, why do you have to put me down like that? Dang, and I thought you were on my side.” Mammon got up and began walking out.

“... Mammon, come.” Brendon sighed.

“G-Gah! H-Hey! You said you wouldn’t do that again! S-Stahp! Oof!” Mammon began to walk involuntarily back over to Brendon before plopping down onto the bed.

“Mammon, if you would have let me finish… I can start on your favorite part… now you know the rules about my bed.” Brendon said, sighing as he laid down on the bed and watched Mammon kick his shoes off before crawling further onto the bed.

Mammon saw Brendon gesture to his chest and Mammon reluctantly rested his head on his chest, slight blush on his face.

“Fine… but you better make it the best qualities about me.” Mammon said, pouting.

“Hehehe, I swear, you are just as narcissistic as Asmo.” Brendon chuckles as he pet Mammon.

“Grrr… S-Shut up… don’t compare me to him, idiot…” Mammon growled.

“Hehe, rich coming from the guy who keeps on trying to get a picture of Lucifer sleeping. Didn’t he douse you in steak sauce and tossed you into the catacombs where Cerberus stood guard, the last time you tried it? After the flash on your camera went off?”

Mammon shivered a bit. “Why’d you have to remind me about the Mammon Steak incident? I smelled like steak sauce, and fear for three weeks, Beel kept barking like a dog to make me jump… Why don’t you have sympathy for me?”

“Sorry, but you know I don’t like being called an idiot.” Brendon cuddled Mammon and rubbed his belly gently. “But anyway, onto your pros… You are very thoughtful and determined when you put your mind to it. You’re pretty much the most easygoing of all seven, you’re energetic and like to have fun, you’re hilarious, and you’re a good hugger.”

Mammon blushed and smiled like an idiot, “Hey, did I say you could stop singing my praises?” He asked, smirking.

“Oh? Well, I guess I could rustle up a few more…” Brendon smirked back, “Let’s see… you don’t hesitate to come to my need… you’re handsome, charming… and… you’re fun to tease.” Brendon then began tickling Mammon’s sides and abs.

“A-Ah! Hehey! Noho tickling! No-HOhohoho! Get out of my shirt!” Mammon began to regret falling into Brendon’s trap, he got him right where he wanted him.

“Hehe, very very fun to tease~.” Brendon bit his lip and went up to his ribs and his armpit while his other arm had wrapped around his waist. Mammon was now flailing.

“Stahahahap! I’m sohohorreeeee!” Mammon squealed as he said just what needed to be said to get Brendon to stop.

“And you’re very apologetic~.” Brendon winked.

“Hehehe… phew… Brendon… you’re the worst…” Mammon panted, and looked up at him.

“Hehe, if I was, you wouldn’t still call yourself my first.” Brendon leaned down and kissed Mammon.

“... I mean if you keep that up, I guess I’ll promote you to… not so bad…” Mammon blushed.

Brendon snuggled Mammon closer. “But, in all seriousness, I’d have to give it some serious thought, and there is the possibility that none of you can go… and if that’s the case… I won’t be going… I’d miss you all too much…”

Mammon blinked and looked up at Brendon and sighed. “Well, I don’t want to keep you from your family either… so I hope at least one of us can go…”

Brendon rubbed Mammon’s shoulders, hoping he didn’t have to see his dad on the trip, especially without the demon brothers there with him. “I hope so too…”

Mammon hummed contentedly as he practically melted in Brendon’s touch. But tension came back in knots when the door burst open.

“I knew it! Mammon’s trying to butter Brendon up so he’d get picked to go to Kyoto!” Levi growled, followed in by Asmo, Beel, and Belphie.

“Just when you thought you pulled the wool over our eyes!” Asmo crossed his arms and smirked.

“Now get off Brendon’s chest, that’s my spot.” Belphie glared at Mammon cozying up to Brendon.

Beel was just munching on a rotisserie chicken. “I kicked down the door.”

“Umm… speaking of the door, it wasn’t locked…” Brendon frowned and sighed.

“Get out, all of you! I got here first fair and square!” Mammon growled. “This is my human! I am his first!”

“All of you, stop! I don’t know who I’m gonna pick, or if I’m even gonna go.” Brendon sighed. “And all of you coming at me at once with PowerPoint presentations is not helping!”

“What? You’re thinking of not going? This is a lifetime opportunity, of course you should go!” Asmo gasped.

“WhaaaaAAAATT?! You get to go to Kyoto and you don’t even wanna go?! The waste!” Levi’s jaw practically dropped at the declaration. “It isn’t fair!”

“Levi, trust me, if you knew the stakes of going to this Kyoto vacation alone, you wouldn’t want to go either…” Brendon looked down as he let go of Mammon and rolled out from under Mammon, to lay on his side.

“Brendon… What do you mean by that?” Belphie asked.

Beel blinked. “Is there someone that you don’t want to be there on your vacation? It isn’t one of your brothers is it?”

Brendon looked down and sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m just exhausted… I need to get some sleep… I have a lot of thinking to do… could you all leave, please?”

Everyone frowned and looked dejected, but Asmo thought about it. “Brendon’s right, he needs to think, and we need to get up early for the meeting with Lord Diavolo tomorrow. Let’s go.” Asmo said, as he kissed Brendon’s cheek. “Sorry for bothering you, honey. Beel, get Mammon.”

Mammon’s eyes widened. “Hey! Don’t kiss him! Gah! Bee put me down!” Mammon flailed as Beel slung him over his shoulder.

“Umm… good night… sorry Mammon, maybe tomorrow night…?” Brendon watched them kidnap Mammon but then blinked in realization. “You all owe me a new door! And Mammon you forgot your…” They had already gone. “... boots…”

In the House’s Library, Beel tosses Mammon on the couch, much to Mammon, and a reading Satan’s protests.

“Gah! Can you give me a warning before you choose to throw Mammon onto the couch where I’m reading?! And get your feet out of my face Mammon, they reek!” Satan gritted his teeth as he pushed his legs away, making Mammon turn onto his side on the couch.

“They do not, you hypocrite! H-Hey! Wait a minute, I forgot my shoes in Brendon’s room! Beel, you couldn’t even wait for me to put my shoes on?!” Mammon glared at Beel.

Beel was eating a chocolate newt before looking at Mammon, “Asmo waved this when he told me to get you. I waste no time.”

“Stinky feet and bribes aside… Asmo, what’s this about?” Satan asked, putting his book down.

“Well, I call this meeting of the younger brothers to draw attention to something that concerned me… Did anyone else notice how Brendon looked a bit somber earlier?” Asmo, looked at everyone, crossing his arms.

“Well, he didn’t seem to be happy about going to Kyoto… which I don’t know why, that sounds amazing.” Levi clenched his fists!

“I noticed, Brendon mentioned something about stakes about going to the family vacation alone…” Belphegor frowned, “That set up a red flag for me… I mean he seemed excited for us to meet his family, so I don’t know why he hesitated about it when there’s a possibility that he’ll go alone…”

“And it seems Beel is the only one to whom Brendon mentioned any part of his family to. Is that right?” Satan looked up at Beel, who was now eating a bag of chips.

“Mm-hmm. And it wasn’t until earlier tonight that he mentioned exactly how many brothers he has.” Beel nodded, “And from what Mammon gathered, he talks about his brothers favorably…”

“Hmm… Well regardless of what Brendon is worried about, the point is: he’s worried about going alone. And I want to advocate for all of our participation in going to Kyoto with Brendon.” Asmo began pacing around in front of his other siblings.

“Well, that’s not exactly our decision to make, we would have to convince Lord Diavolo, and even then, we don’t even know if we have to convince him of anything.” Mammon sighed, leaning back.

“Maybe we won’t have to convince him… what if Brendon convinces him?” Belphegor asked, “He’s practically the student council intern at this point.”

“I mean, that’s true… Brendon is pretty good at convincing Lucifer and Lord Diavolo at times.” Satan nods in thought. “But you don’t think it would be pushing it? I mean, how long is the stay?”

“Hmm… good question… maybe we should ask Brendon for more details. And while we’re at it, we can plead our cases as to why we should be chosen to be Brendon’s Vacation Boyfriend~.” Asmo winks, sticking his tongue out. “I don’t think it will be any contest, I’m the perfect candi-date for Brendon~.”

“Woah woah woah, hold on now, that’s only if Brendon convinces Lord Diavolo that at least one will go with him to Kyoto. And no you will not, Asmo, it’s gonna be me!” Mammon growled and stood up.

“Hehehe, not even in either of your dreams, Brendon is my best friend, and it is my dream to go to Kyoto! I am getting that spot as B.V.B!” Levi stood up and gritted his teeth.

“I suppose I can broaden my horizons in Kyoto, I wonder if there is a library at the estate they’ll be staying at.” Satan smirked.

“You all are at an unfair advantage, but I won’t lose.” Belphegor clenched his fist.

“... Kyotonian Delicacies… I’ve always wanted to eat their finest dishes…” Beel was drooling as the other brothers were locked in a glaring rivalry.

“Wait… we shouldn’t forget about Lucifer, whether he try to not count him, he’s also a candidate, even though Lord Diavolo would think it ideal to keep him by his side in the Devildom.” Asmo realized.

“I guess until we find out if one, two, or all of us can go, it’s every demon for himself.” Mammon said, and with that, all the demon brothers parted ways back to their rooms.

[imagining-supernatural]

The Work Call

Part 18 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary:  You call your boss to get some work to do in your free time and do a little flirting ;)

Word Count: 2,258

With Sebastian off in Georgia for a week, you felt like a teenager whose parents just left her home for alone for the first time. Suddenly, you could break all of the rules. Not that your rule-breaking was something that would get you in too much trouble…

Since the press seemed to have gotten it through their heads that you were off limits, you finally had your privacy and space back again. As a result, you were taking advantage of the last few weeks of autumn before the snow came. After your hospital appointments, you walked down the street to a cute little café and sat in one of the over-sized, plush chairs for a bit. You’d either bring a book or your laptop.

On Wednesday, the café cat apparently decided you were okay and hopped up into your lap, purring loudly as you read. You’d snapped a quick selfie and sent it off to Sebastian.

Me: [image attached] Don’t be surprised if you come home this weekend and I’ve catnapped ol’ Misty here

Sebastian: What if I’m allergic to cats?

Me: Sucks to be you, I guess

Me: The apartment’s lonely without you

You stared at the last text you’d sent, suddenly overthinking it. Sure, you were married. And, sure, you were wearing his ring now. But you two hadn’t really discussed what that meant, exactly. So was that last text too strong? Too forward?

Hell, you didn’t even know what you’d meant by it.

Sebastian: Don’t know how I feel about being able to be replaced by a cat

Sebastian: Maybe I need to up my game

Up his game?

Shit, it had been so long since you’d flirted with anyone. So long since you’d even considered a relationship. After your hellish life growing up, you’d put all of your focus into school. You were determined to set yourself up for a better life than the one you were born into. Then you graduated and worked hard to secure your place at your job. School only taught you so much, and you needed to be able to apply what you learned to real life.

Once you felt secure in your professional life and you were finally ready to start exploring a relationship, you found out you had cancer.

So to say you were woefully underprepared for this situation would be the understatement of the year.

Me: Luckily for you, I like Jenny’s coffee so much that I don’t want her to hate me for stealing her cat

Sebastian: You still thought a cat would replace me

Sebastian: That hurts, sweetheart

Sweetheart. In writing. 

Me: I’ll find some way to make you feel better this weekend

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Why did you never read over your texts before you sent them?

At least you hadn’t put a winky face emoji. Now that would have been a disaster.

Not that you didn’t want your relationship with Sebastian to keep going. You did. But there was a lot more pressure riding on this than there was back in high school when you went to the prom with Brad Trayton, or in college when you slept with the guy from your Chemistry 101 lab three times before having to break it off with him because he always smelled like bacon.

This was Sebastian Fucking Stan. And you were married to the guy. And you were in a literal life or death situation. If things went badly with him, that would make the rest of your cancer treatment very awkward, to say the least.

Sebastian: I’m sure you will…

Sebastian: I gotta go to a script reading rn. Skype tonight?

Me: Of course

You’d been Skyping with Seb at least twice a day since he left on Sunday night. It was almost like he never left, in that regard.

But with him gone, you found that you had a lot of free time on your hands. With your body starting to get used to the cancer treatment, you also had a bit more energy and nowhere to put that energy to good use.

So you called your old boss back home, dialing his direct extension to avoid getting his assistant. The press might have backed off, but thanks to the updates from Jasmin, people who knew you were still reeling over your marriage.

“Plathway.”

“Hey, Brendon, it’s Y/N.”

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, and you could just imagine him leaning back in his chair. Brendon Plathway was your mentor and had grown into a close friend. Of everyone in your life, you would say he was the closest thing to a good father figure you had. “How are you doing? I’ve seen your name on Facebook a few times.”

“I’m doing pretty good, all things considered. I’m in a clinical study in New York and the doctors are optimistic that it’ll work. They’re hoping I’ll get the tumor out sometime in February.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Brendon said. “And that husband of yours… he treating you well?”

“It’s not… it’s not quite like that. But yeah. He’s great.” It was a pretty decent segue into the reason for your call. “He’s actually out of town, shooting for a TV show. So I have a bit of time on my hands and was hoping—”

“Y/N Y/L/N?”

The unfamiliar voice interrupted you before you could finish. You looked up to see a guy about your age with a newsboy bag, notebook, and tape recorder.

A fucking journalist.

“I thought it was you. You mind if I ask you a few questions?” He didn’t say it like a question, nor did he give you time to respond before he sat on a stool beside you and set up shop on the small table. “If I could write an article on you, it would just—”

“I’m actually on a phone call right now.”

“Oh, I won’t take too long. I just can’t pass up this opportunity. You’re quite the enigma. No one’s gotten your side of the story.”

“And neither will you. I’m not going to answer any questions.”

He completely ignored you, flicked on the recorder, and put his pen to paper. “People have been saying that you planned your rendezvous with Sebastian Stan in Vegas. What do you say to that?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have no comment for you.”

“I thought you’d appreciate the chance to get your story out there. There are some nasty rumors spreading—”

You cut him off before he could continue. “I know my story and the people I care about know my story. I will not be answering any questions for you today.”

“Do you feel no guilt for being the reason Sebastian Stan’s reputation has taken a massive hit?”

“I’m going to give you one more chance to leave me the fuck alone before I call the cops.” He opened his mouth, but you spoke over him, voice lowering to a red-hot hiss. “And if you write a single word of this conversation or make any sort of insinuations that I said anything at all, I will slap you and whatever blog or magazine you work for with a libel lawsuit. Don’t even think about trying to manipulate your recording because you’re not the only one who has been recording this conversation. The phone call you interrupted was with my boss and it’s company policy to record all incoming and outgoing phone calls. He’s a witness that I repeatedly rejected your attempt to start an interview and anything else you say can be construed as harassment. Have I made myself clear?”

He stared at you, wide eyed. Guess he hadn’t expected a cancer patient to be so blunt. Nevertheless, he gathered his things and stood. Just before walking away, he muttered, “You didn’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

Once he was gone, you groaned. “Sorry about that, Bren.”

“Is that something you have to deal with often? That’s horrible.”

“No. Not since I got sick because stupid reporters were sticking their germy microphones in my face and Seb threatened them with lawyers.”

Brendon hmphed. “Well, you sounded like you had that speech prepared. Sounded like you’d said it a few times.”

“Before he left, Seb made sure I knew how to threaten any reporters like that. Luckily this was the first time I’ve had to remember what he told me.” The reporter had shaken you, and it took a few deep breaths before you felt calm enough to continue with your conversation. “Anyway, back to my original reason for calling… Are there are projects I could jump on long distance? I’ll probably only be able to put in about ten to fifteen good hours of work a week, but it’d be nice to have something to do other than wait for new episodes of my shows to come on Hulu.”

“Let me poke around the office a bit. I know there’s a big one coming up next week. Rachel’s heading that one. You’ve worked with her before right? She’d probably appreciate your input. Trent is in the middle of one for a pharmaceutical company, but he’s not feeling too sure about it. I’ll see if he wants you to try and hack the system and find holes.”

“Anything. I’ve worked with both of them before and I think we work well together. I did quite a few initial proposals before I left for Vegas and I enjoyed those more than most people do.”

He promised he’d send any projects your way that he could. After a few more minutes of catching up, you ended the call and headed outside to wait for Sean in the chilly fall air.

“How was the reading?” you asked later that night. “Any juicy plot lines?”

“Not that I can tell you,” Seb replied. The phone in his hand shifted as he settled further into the hotel bed that Marvel was putting him up in. “But it was good. We’ll start shooting tomorrow.”

“Excited to lube up your arm?”

He laughed, head falling back against the headboard. “I take it you finally did some research on me?”

“A little. The hospital was running behind today, so I was there a bit longer than I planned and I fell down the YouTube abyss of interviews. Anthony seems like a fun guy to work with.”

Sebastian grinned. “He is. Speaking of work, did you call your boss?”

“Yeah.” The reminder of the phone call – or rather of the interruption – made your roll your eyes.

“Didn’t go well?”

“No, no. It did.” You knew your news was not going to go over well with Seb, so you took a minute to get settled into the bed. It had been a long day and laying down felt good. You turned your laptop on its side so your face would still be the right way on Seb’s phone. “Brendon’s gonna check around work and find some projects and work to throw my way. That’s all good.”

“Then what is it?”

With a deep sigh, you began. “While I was on the phone with him, some hipster reporter dude interrupted.”

“Son of a—”

“It took a minute to get it through his thick skull that I was not going to give him a story but he finally left. It just kinda took a bit out of me.”

“God, Y/N. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah, it’s not,” you agreed softly. “But you prepared me. I handled it. Then Sean made me eat dinner with him and his wife. She’s an amazing cook. Sometime when you’re home, they want to have both of us over. And when this is all over, we definitely need to think of a hell of a way to thank him for everything. He’s done so much more than a driver gets paid to.”

The two of you brainstormed for a bit about how to repay Sean for his kindness and friendship. Then your conversation moved on to different subjects, bouncing around for a bit until you yawned for the third time in five minutes.

“You seem more tired than usual. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. I mean, I haven’t been sleeping well, but that’s your fault.”

“My fault?” he asked.

“Yeah. You made me sleep next to you for two weeks then you just up and leave me alone. It’s rude, Mr. Stan.”

Something in your words sparked something in his eyes that filled you with… excitement?

“Well, Mrs. Stan…” His words were accompanied by a wink that stopped your heart. Forget your brain tumor. Sebastian was going to be the source of your death. “You only have two more nights before I’m home for the weekend.”

Flirting? Were you flirting?

“Two nights with you and five nights without you is just not a fraction I like.”

My god, you were flirting.

“If you can convince Marvel to move their studios to New York, I’m all game. Until then, we’ll have to make the best of those two nights.”

“Make the best of them, hmm?”

“Yeah,” he said in a low voice. “Mackie’s commentary on The Voice isn’t as good as yours. I’ve been waiting to watch the new episodes until I’m with you.”

The unexpected twist made you laugh out loud. It didn’t escape your attention how his eyes crinkled at the sound, affection flooding his expression. “The Voice on Friday and Dancing With The Stars on Saturday?”

“I’ll pen it in my calendar, sweetheart.”

“Ooo. I’m pen-worthy. That’s so much better than pencil-worthy.”

“You’re white-out-worthy, baby. I’d white-out plans I have with someone else to pen in plans with you.”

Fucking hell. Baby was a new one.

If he’d put on half this much charm on you in Vegas when you were drunk, it was no wonder you’d married him.

“Then I guess I need to go erase the pencil plans I had for Saturday evening and make room for you. Maybe even buy a special pen just for you.”

“Maybe wait for tomorrow? You’ve had a long day. Seems like you need a good night’s rest.”

“You too, hun.” The pet name felt foreign on your tongue, but it somehow felt… right? “Shooting starts tomorrow. You need to be ready to keep up with Mackie’s energy.”

“He wants to meet’cha, you know. Apparently I haven’t shut up about you.’

“Gimme a few more weeks to get used to this treatment and maybe I can spend more than three seconds around him without needing a nap,” you joked. “Unless he only has that energy when there’s a camera on him…?”

Seb laughed. “That is him all the damn time.”

“Then I better let you go for the night. You’ve spent the last few weeks shlumping around with me. Gotta get your rest to keep up with him tomorrow.”

“And you gotta get your rest so you can hand out candy tomorrow.”

“I’m excited for that, actually. Trick or Treating really slowed down back in Utah lately. I think last year I got, like, maybe three groups of kids?”

“You’ll get your fill this year. A lot of the kids in the apartment complex go to every door. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want you getting sick.”

It took twenty more minutes before you were finally able to say your goodbyes and hang up. You stared at your phone for a moment before placing it on the side table beside Sebastian’s bed and turning off the light.  

Houston, we've got some flirting!!! Also can we just take a minute to appreciate how amazing Sean is? But things seem to be looking up!

CHAPTER 19: THE LONG DAY

[prettyoddfever]

P!ATD – journal entries during the 2005 Nintendo Fusion Tour

I don’t have all of these or the pictures that went with some, but this is a start! I’m also condensing the formatting to save space. 

RYAN’S LIVEJOURNAL

September 27: whisper babe..i’m as good as it gets in this town. whisper babe..i’m a fever you can’t sweat out. these are my deepest thoughts and secrets under a microscope or under a spotlight. forgive me if i’m not quite ready to give them to you.it’s just such a different feeling..when i see you smiling and singing back to me, i’m still playing different pictures in my head that aren’t so pleasant. i’m doing my best now to live in the song and not just the meaning. thank you all for picking up our record today. it’s the biggest thing any of us have ever done and it’s a great feeling to know all the thoughts and second guesses haven’t gone unnoticed.

October 8: no more sleeping in the coffin. We are Oliver Twist.We are Edward Scissorhands. We’re just make believe. I’m living a fairy tale.and you’re all in it.

October 10: she’s dreaming of him i’m dreamingofher.

October 20: “finding faith in bathroom stalls…”

October 25: my oh my. things are well enough.never happy with where i’m at,i really am trying to work on that. i’m the kid in high school you never gave a fuck about. now i’m signing your t-shirt.go figure. you and me, we should make a secret song. but i don’t know if you’re into it. but do i ever,nope. everypicturetakesapieceofme.

(November 1: Jac posted “he kissed me...” on her livejournal.)

November 2: can you still feel the butterflies? wow.halloween is the new valentines day. i’m feeling quite a bit better now because of you.

November 6: so everyone knows everything about me, I get it. everything you ever hear, is also true all the time.okay? eatitup. love –ry

November 14: look what i got.there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth…

somewhere around this point Jac posted “Ryan Ross has a girlfriend.” 

November 19: i’m so sick it makes me happy,i’m so happy it makes me sick. jacspoonsoon. we become the things we do

BRENDON’S LIVEJOURNAL

September 30: john, I'm only dancing. capri sun surfer coolers and twizzlers. the van. album just dropped. on tour with fall out boy. holy shit. thisismylife. thank you to everyone who has picked up the album or come out to see us. i hope you enjoyed it. we aim to please. and guess what ladies and gentlemen? he doesn’t just sing for your entertainment, he’s an actor now too. well on his way to becoming a triple threat. if only he could remember what that third thing was. “she turns me on, but i'm only dancing. she turns me on, don’t get me wrong i'm only dancing.” ... oh yeah, now i remember.

October 4: i got the magic stick i love new york, so says the shirt i got the last time we were there. headed there now. someone else is driving. finally. skittles are the best candy ever. jell-o can be surprisingly filling. i owe brent 827345920 dollars. he doesn’t think i'm funny. mcdonalds sucks and half a mcflurry does not a meal make. but a pretty smile and good conversation go a long way to improving the state of things. shorty don’t believe me, then come with me tonight. and i’ll show you maaagic. (what? what?) thank you for coming out to see us.

October 18: oh juliet, deny your name, your father. ryan and i are sitting in a really nice dressing room at the hard rock live in orlando. there isn't much to do when you show up early at the venues. i walked around with our friend "merch dan" at the universal studios shops. not too much going on there either. so now im eating pb&j; and watching romeo & juliet. have fun at the show tonight, boys and girls.

October 30: but you. you were my favorite… just got home about an hour ago. last day at home for another month. the show last night in tucson went well i think. we are definitely lucky to be on this tour. thank you all. cant stop thinking about her. she's my favorite.

November 10: keep your chin up child and wipe the tears from your eyes the clarion of kansas city, missouri. oh how sweet life is. less than 2 weeks left of tour. the bands have been great. parting is such sweet sorrow. less than 2 weeks closer to seeing her.

November 28: feels like home to me glad to be back. time to lay low for a while. congratu-fucking-lations to everyone that knows everything about me. keep it up. youre doing a great job…

FBR JOURNAL

October 4: The Nintendo Fusion Tour has been ridiculous so far. We've never seen so many kids at a show, much less played in front of so many. Kara from BNO is going to make me into a classical piano player which I'm pretty excited about. Lessons starting tomorrow. Anyway thanks to all of you who have already picked up our record, you suprised us, we greatly appreciate it! We've been in Canada for the past few days and the weather is perfect up here at this time of year. Montreal has alot of French speaking folks and some strange things on the menu at McDonald's and wierd junk food at gas stations. Sea salt and black pepper potato chips? hmm. -Ryan ps. secret show in nyc next week. we're not good with secrets. more info soon.

October 6: wishyouwerehere

the band’s myspace posts were mostly about where to find new interviews, songs, etc. so here are the updates from their site:

November 6:  boise, seattle, blame mother nature for our absences. we've run into some bad luck lately, missed the last two shows, and now we've broken down again, trying to make it to the great salt lake. we will drive our little hearts out though soon as she's fixed, hopefully we're not too late. PANICISAMACHINE -Ryan

November 10: okay, so this past week has been quite a mess. First we missed boise due to bad weather,everyone else missed seattle because of bad weather, our van died,and we missed salt lake city. We appologize for all of this,we'll make it up to you all asap.We got ourselves a new van in hopes of preventing to many heavy breakdowns from now on. -Ryan

November 28: We just wanted to give a quick thank you to everybody who came out early and supported us on The Nintendo Fusion Tour. You all amazed us every night. As you know, our December shows are coming up, and all but a couple are sold out. If you didn't get a chance to get tickets to those shows or the NFT shows, we wanted to give you a heads up that tickets to our February/March tour with The Academy Is..., Acceptance and Hellogoodbye go on sale tomorrow (November 29th) at 10am...  A bigger update is on the way as well as a new site! -panic!

[random-writing-things666]

Dumpweed Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning, slightly sore from last night. Mark was laying next to me, watching as I shifted from my slumber. "Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?" He asked. "I sure did, and you?" I asked, Mark nodded his head and leant over to kiss me. "I'll take that as a yes." I chuckled and sat up. "Where can I use the bathroom?" I asked him, he pointed to the closed door. "Just through there." He replied.

When I got to the bathroom, I instantly noticed the hickeys on my neck and shoulders. Ruby was definitely going to question those. Mark came in after me and kissed the back of my neck. He too noticed the hickeys in my reflection. "Sorry, I didn't mean to...y'know." he stuttered. I turned around to face Mark, running my hands along his shoulders. "I honestly don't mind. It's going to get Ruby off of my back about getting laid." I laughed. "Plus, I had fun." I finished off, kissing his lips. "I had fun too. Thanks for keeping me company, Ivory." He smiled down at me. "I'm going to get in the shower, you want to join?" He asked. "Nah, I'll have one after you. I better tell Ruby that I'm alive." I replied. Mark laughed in response. "Fair call, there's a robe of mine on the couch that you can use if you don't feel like walking around the hotel room naked." He laughed.

I scanned the room and found Mark's robe, it was so soft! I slipped it on and pulled my phone from the coffee table. I had about 11 missed calls from Ruby, I dialled her number and she picked up straight away. "Girl, where are you?" She asked in a worried tone. "I'm at the hotel. I'll be there soon..." "Hotel? Oooh, who did you fuck? Actually, tell me when you get here." She replied eagerly. I laughed in response. "When are you getting here anyways?" She asked. "Soon I hope, I'm just waiting on the shower." Just as I finished that sentence, Mark came out of the shower.

Mark and I pulled up at the back of the venue, where the party last night was. "Hey, can I please get your number?" He asked. "Because I was serious when I said I wanted to hang out with you more." He smiled, handing me a pen and paper. I quickly jotted my number down. "Text me. I have to find Ruby." I smiled, leaning over to kiss Mark. I pulled away to see a pout on his face. "I really wish you didn't have to go." He said quietly. "I do too, but I'll see you when you perform later on." I reassured. "You better be front and center dancing." Mark smiled. "I will be, see you later." I said before climbing out of the car and making my way to mine and Ruby's shared camp spot, but not without bumping into Brendon Urie again. "Hey, there you are." He smiled. "Yes, here I am." I replied. "Thanks for dancing with me last night at the party." I smiled back at him. "It was my pleasure to dance with such a beautiful woman." Brendon smiled, slinging his arm around my shoulder. I was sure that if Mark saw this, he would probably get jealous. Brendon was an extremely good looking guy. But Brendon wasn't the guy I was wanting to fuck. "So, where did you disappear to last night?" He asked me. "I went back to Mark's hotel with him." I replied a little too proudly, before wondering off, leaving him in the lurch.

I eventually found Ruby and our campsite. Thankfully she had already set it up. "Yay! Ivory is finally here!" She shouted excitedly, getting up and pulling me into a bear hug. She eventually let go and went back to sitting down. She patted the empty seat beside me. "So, tell me. Who was the lucky guy?" She asked. "Was it Alex Gaskarth? Cause he was kinda cute and I did notice him eyeballing you at the party." She tried guessing. "No, it was Mark Hoppus." I replied proudly. Ruby looked at me with a dumbfounded look. "I had a funny idea that you two would end up fucking." She laughed. "So was it a one night stand, or are you two a thing?" She asked. "At the moment, we're just keeping it as a casual no strings attached thing. Maybe, we'll turn it into something more serious down the track, but we will see how we go." I admitted. "Aww, I hope you two work out." Ruby smiled. "Though, I did notice him eyeing you up for most of the night." She laughed. I laughed in response, thinking of the moment Mark admitted looking at me, just before we made out on the hood of his car.

It had been a few hours since the end of all the bands had finished playing their sets for the night. Just as Ruby and I were walking back to our tent, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was from Mark Mark. Hey, Mark here. Saw you dancing at the show. You looked fine. Would you like to come to the after-party? Your friend can come too. You felt Ruby looking over your shoulder. "Girl, you should go. I'm going to get some sleep though." She gave me a wink, before letting out a small yawn. "If you're sure." I replied, not really wanting to leave Ruby alone. "Seriously, go. Or I'll walk you there myself." She smirked. "Plus, I know you want more of Mark's dick." She joked. I raised my hands in defeat. "Fine, I'll go." I replied, before pulling my phone out to text Mark back. Ivory: I will be there soon, can you or someone wait outside for me? Mark: I will wait, see you soon :-*

It took the good part of half an hour to get to where Mark was wanting to meet me. And to credit him, he did stick to his word. "Hey, Mark." I tried saying as nonchalantly as possible. "Hello, my Ivory. Still as beautiful as ever I see." He winked, before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I looked up at him and feigned annoyance. "Hey, my lips are here." I said, pointing at the corner of my mouth. "I know where they are. I just don't think I'll be able to stop once I start kissing them." He winked. "Maybe I wouldn't want you to stop." I replied, pecking him on his lips. He laughed. "You, Miss Ivory are a hard soul to bargain with. Let's get inside." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me inside to where everyone else was.  I looked around and saw where Matt and Travis were sitting and chatting between themselves.

"Would you like to sit down with them, while I order drinks?" He offered, gesturing towards his band mates. "Sure, I'll see you soon." I replied, turning around to walk towards Matt and Travis, but not without bumping into Alex Gaskarth again. "Hey, Ivory. It's good to see you again." He smiled, pulling me into a friendly hug. I gladly hugged him back. "Good to see you too, Alex." I replied with a smile. "So, what happened to you last night? You just disappeared." He asked, Mark was soon behind us with our drinks. "Good to see you two have met." He smiled, handing me my drink and taking a sip of his own. "We met last night, remember Alex was the one who introduced us." I had to remind Mark. "Oh, yeah. I remember now. It's been a long 24 hours." He smiled before carrying on to Travis and Matt.

"So, you and Mark. You're a thing now?" Matt asked. I was now sitting down next to Matt. Mark and Travis were getting drinks. "I think we're just a casual, no strings attached at the moment." I replied, smiling at Matt. "Well, hopefully those no strings attached means you can come on tour with us. You're good company." He smiled. "I hope so too. But I don't want to be in Mark's hair the whole time." I admitted. "I don't think you'll be a burden at all. I've seen how Mark has been looking at you. He's head over heels for you." Matt assured.

Before I knew it, it was 2 in the morning again. For tonight, I was only planning on going back to the tent to catch up on some much needed sleep. "Are you sure you don't want to come to the hotel with me?" Mark asked, having me pinned between himself and his car. Just like last night. "I'm sure. I need sleep and I don't want to worry Ruby." I replied, trying to convince Mark. "Fine, but can I at least walk you back?" He offered. "I don't think I can say no, come on" I replied, taking his hand.

The walk back felt quicker than what it should have been. "I suppose this is where we part ways." I sighed. I was really enjoying Mark's company over the weekend, and was sad to have him not around. "It's only for now, but we don't have to separate." He hinted, but I had no idea what he meant. "Why don't we share your tent for the night? We don't have to have sex, just lay there and enjoy each other's company." He offered, making me smile up at him. "I don't think that I can refuse such an offer. I'm up for it." I replied.

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Not Superficial - Brendon Urie x Reader

Request: , I was wondering if you could do a Brendon Urie x reader where the reader used to go to schol with Brendon and she liked him but he didn’t like her back because she used to be nerdy, wearing glasses, braces, acne etc. But now she’s like a smoking hot chick and he realizes what he missed out and they get together in the end? And the way they meet is she actually went to the concert and she had VIP passes so they meet backstage and all. Please and thank you. Can’t wait to see what you write. Summary: The Reader and Brendon went to school together, now they meet again at one of his concerts. Reader: female Word count: 1 178 A/N: I’m gonna say it upfront: I feel uncomfortable with this request. The idea that it takes a complete change of looks to please someone is not a message I want to send. Please remember, and I mean this not only for girls, but for boys and everyone else too, if someone rejects you because of your looks, it’s their loss, as painful as it is in that moment. That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to actively change stuff about yourself that you don’t like, but you shouldn’t do it for anybody but yourself.

Backstage was a lot more hectic and cramped than you had imagined. It had been pure chance that your best friend had managed to get some of the super rare backstage VIP tickets, and now you were nervously waiting to meet the band.

Over the last months everyone, who had not yet known Panic! at the Disco, had been bombarded with the new hits that were playing on every radio station. But you had known Panic! since the beginning, hell even longer, considering Panic! now equaled Brendon Urie.

Brendon and you had been to school together. The dorky boy had always held a special place in your heart, even before all the music and touring and money and fame. But at the same time you knew that while you had spent your time in high school thinking about him all the time, he probably had no idea who you were. Honestly, sometimes you felt like you did not even recognise yourself anymore.

Back then you had had the worst skin problems, the kind that not even the doctors were able to help you with. That alone had been enough for most of your classmates to stay far away from you, and the thick glasses, and the braces had not made you feel any better. Of course, as if fate had wanted to play a joke on you, your skin had gotten better almost as soon as you had left school, and because you had still grown a little, your eyes had gotten better too. Usually you still wore glasses, but for the concert tonight you had been too scared to lose them between all the dancing people, so you had put in contacts instead.

Nervously you tucked at your black shirt. While sometimes you felt like your story resembled the one of the ugly duckling, you still did not feel like you had turned into a majestic swan. Next to your best friend you were still the grey, little mouse, but if you were honest, you did not want it any other way. That did not mean though that you had not made sure to feel comfy, and maybe even a little sexy tonight. The simple black shirt nicely hugged your body, and the ripped jeans perfectly contrasted your red converse. Around your neck dangled a short necklace with a little moon on it, and your hair was, while appropriate for jumping and dancing around, styled with a little hair pin with a red crystal on it.

You were so deep in thoughts, thinking back to the time in school, how your seventeen years old self would have gotten a shock if she had seen how much would change for her that you did not even notice that the band had come into the room, in which you had been waiting along with a few other fans.

Only when your friend tucked at your wrist, you snapped back into reality.

Mike was the first one to talk to you, and with a wide grin he signed your ticket, before he moved on. Nicole was next. You talked to her for a while, and were amazed by how kind she was. Just when she started searching for her phone to show you a picture of her dog, Dan walked up.

“No, no, no,” he interrupted, “you’re not gonna start showing any pictures of dogs. Once she starts,” he turned to you, “she will not stop.”

With a wide grin he wrapped his arm around Nicole’s shoulder, who smiled apologetically.

“Want us to sign something?”

Quickly you handed them your ticket for them to sign as well, and they moved on to the next fans.

That meant the only one you had not talked to yet was Brendon. Curiously you looked around the room, and found that he was just saying good bye to a group of girls. When he spotted you at the other end of the room, he looked surprised but immediately walked over.

“(y/n), is that you,” he asked with a wide grin.

“Uhm, yeah, didn’t think you’d remember me,” you smiled back slightly embarrassed.

“Man, it’s been ages!”

Before you even knew what was happening, Brendon had pulled you in for a hug, which you returned confused.

“I have to admit, I almost wouldn’t have recognized you. Where are your glasses,” he asked, taking a good look at you.

“Contacts,” you answered quickly, not trusting your voice to say anything longer.

Damn, you really were not the only one who had changed over the years. Brendon had definitely grown up too, and as stupid as it made you feel, you really had to admit that he was incredibly attractive now.

“Damn, I loved the glasses,” Brendon almost looked a bit disappointed.

“Excuse me, what?”

Not sure if you had understood him correctly, you looked at him wide eyed.

“Your glasses, they were super cute! It’s a shame you don’t wear them anymore.”

“I do, just not for concerts,” you answered, not sure how you had gone from worrying about him not recognising you, to him complaining about the lack of your glasses, “if that’s any consolation for you.”

“Oh, trust me it is,” he laughed, “listen, I think we’re running out of time here, but… I’m in the city for a while, maybe… would you like to meet up sometime? Catch up and all?”

“Sure, it’s just-“

“Oh shit, you don’t have a boyfriend do you? Or someone? Aw man, of course you do.”

Wide eyed you watched as Brendon’s expression went from excited puppy to disappointed.

“No, I don’t but-“

“You don’t?”

“No, I’m not in a relationship,” you laughed quietly, “I just didn’t think you would even know who I am.”

“Not know- not know who you are? (Y/n), I had the biggest fucking crush on you in school, seriously. Just absolutely no courage to ask you out! Don’t think that now that I do have more confidence I’m gonna let that opportunity slip through my fingers!”

“You-“

Your mind was still hung up on the part where Brendon had said that he once had a crush on you, but before you managed to stutter out a question, a man announced that the time was up, and the band needed to get ready to go on stage.

“Here-“ Brendon pulled a laminated card out of his pocked, that granted him entry to all the backstage areas. “Meet me here again after the show, I’ll tell the guys to let you in, okay?”

“Brendon, come one! Time to go!”

One of the security guards shot him an unnerved glance.

“Take this, see you later.”

Quickly he pressed the backstage pass into your hand, making sure to close your fingers around it, and gave you a quick good bye hug, but not without quickly kissing your cheek.

“Have fun,” he waved as he ran out of the room, following his band mates, leaving you standing there, completely dumbfounded, still holding the backstage pass. You could have sworn there was a dust of pink on his cheeks.

~*~*~*~

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes @angelevansfall @rene-royale

[metallicaredemption]

Dumpweed Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is here, folks! No NSFW warnings here or anything to worry about. Hope yall enjoy it :)

I woke up the next morning, slightly sore from last night. Mark was laying next to me, watching as I shifted from my slumber. "Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?" He asked. "I sure did, and you?" I asked, Mark nodded his head and leant over to kiss me. "I'll take that as a yes." I chuckled and sat up. "Where can I use the bathroom?" I asked him, he pointed to the closed door. "Just through there." He replied.

When I got to the bathroom, I instantly noticed the hickeys on my neck and shoulders. Ruby was definitely going to question those. Mark came in after me and kissed the back of my neck. He too noticed the hickeys in my reflection. "Sorry, I didn't mean to...y'know." he stuttered. I turned around to face Mark, running my hands along his shoulders. "I honestly don't mind. It's going to get Ruby off of my back about getting laid." I laughed. "Plus, I had fun." I finished off, kissing his lips. "I had fun too. Thanks for keeping me company, Ivory." He smiled down at me. "I'm going to get in the shower, you want to join?" He asked. "Nah, I'll have one after you. I better tell Ruby that I'm alive." I replied. Mark laughed in response. "Fair call, there's a robe of mine on the couch that you can use if you don't feel like walking around the hotel room naked." He laughed.

I scanned the room and found Mark's robe, it was so soft! I slipped it on and pulled my phone from the coffee table. I had about 11 missed calls from Ruby, I dialled her number and she picked up straight away. "Girl, where are you?" She asked in a worried tone. "I'm at the hotel. I'll be there soon..." "Hotel? Oooh, who did you fuck? Actually, tell me when you get here." She replied eagerly. I laughed in response. "When are you getting here anyways?" She asked. "Soon I hope, I'm just waiting on the shower." Just as I finished that sentence, Mark came out of the shower.

Mark and I pulled up at the back of the venue, where the party last night was. "Hey, can I please get your number?" He asked. "Because I was serious when I said I wanted to hang out with you more." He smiled, handing me a pen and paper. I quickly jotted my number down. "Text me. I have to find Ruby." I smiled, leaning over to kiss Mark. I pulled away to see a pout on his face. "I really wish you didn't have to go." He said quietly. "I do too, but I'll see you when you perform later on." I reassured. "You better be front and center dancing." Mark smiled. "I will be, see you later." I said before climbing out of the car and making my way to mine and Ruby's shared camp spot, but not without bumping into Brendon Urie again. "Hey, there you are." He smiled. "Yes, here I am." I replied. "Thanks for dancing with me last night at the party." I smiled back at him. "It was my pleasure to dance with such a beautiful woman." Brendon smiled, slinging his arm around my shoulder. I was sure that if Mark saw this, he would probably get jealous. Brendon was an extremely good looking guy. But Brendon wasn't the guy I was wanting to fuck. "So, where did you disappear to last night?" He asked me. "I went back to Mark's hotel with him." I replied a little too proudly, before wondering off, leaving him in the lurch.

I eventually found Ruby and our campsite. Thankfully she had already set it up. "Yay! Ivory is finally here!" She shouted excitedly, getting up and pulling me into a bear hug. She eventually let go and went back to sitting down. She patted the empty seat beside me. "So, tell me. Who was the lucky guy?" She asked. "Was it Alex Gaskarth? Cause he was kinda cute and I did notice him eyeballing you at the party." She tried guessing. "No, it was Mark Hoppus." I replied proudly. Ruby looked at me with a dumbfounded look. "I had a funny idea that you two would end up fucking." She laughed. "So was it a one night stand, or are you two a thing?" She asked. "At the moment, we're just keeping it as a casual no strings attached thing. Maybe, we'll turn it into something more serious down the track, but we will see how we go." I admitted. "Aww, I hope you two work out." Ruby smiled. "Though, I did notice him eyeing you up for most of the night." She laughed. I laughed in response, thinking of the moment Mark admitted looking at me, just before we made out on the hood of his car.

It had been a few hours since the end of all the bands had finished playing their sets for the night. Just as Ruby and I were walking back to our tent, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was from Mark Mark. Hey, Mark here. Saw you dancing at the show. You looked fine. Would you like to come to the after-party? Your friend can come too. You felt Ruby looking over your shoulder. "Girl, you should go. I'm going to get some sleep though." She gave me a wink, before letting out a small yawn. "If you're sure." I replied, not really wanting to leave Ruby alone. "Seriously, go. Or I'll walk you there myself." She smirked. "Plus, I know you want more of Mark's dick." She joked. I raised my hands in defeat. "Fine, I'll go." I replied, before pulling my phone out to text Mark back. Ivory: I will be there soon, can you or someone wait outside for me? Mark: I will wait, see you soon :-*

It took the good part of half an hour to get to where Mark was wanting to meet me. And to credit him, he did stick to his word. "Hey, Mark." I tried saying as nonchalantly as possible. "Hello, my Ivory. Still as beautiful as ever I see." He winked, before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I looked up at him and feigned annoyance. "Hey, my lips are here." I said, pointing at the corner of my mouth. "I know where they are. I just don't think I'll be able to stop once I start kissing them." He winked. "Maybe I wouldn't want you to stop." I replied, pecking him on his lips. He laughed. "You, Miss Ivory are a hard soul to bargain with. Let's get inside." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me inside to where everyone else was.  I looked around and saw where Matt and Travis were sitting and chatting between themselves.

"Would you like to sit down with them, while I order drinks?" He offered, gesturing towards his band mates. "Sure, I'll see you soon." I replied, turning around to walk towards Matt and Travis, but not without bumping into Alex Gaskarth again. "Hey, Ivory. It's good to see you again." He smiled, pulling me into a friendly hug. I gladly hugged him back. "Good to see you too, Alex." I replied with a smile. "So, what happened to you last night? You just disappeared." He asked, Mark was soon behind us with our drinks. "Good to see you two have met." He smiled, handing me my drink and taking a sip of his own. "We met last night, remember Alex was the one who introduced us." I had to remind Mark. "Oh, yeah. I remember now. It's been a long 24 hours." He smiled before carrying on to Travis and Matt.

"So, you and Mark. You're a thing now?" Matt asked. I was now sitting down next to Matt. Mark and Travis were getting drinks. "I think we're just a casual, no strings attached at the moment." I replied, smiling at Matt. "Well, hopefully those no strings attached means you can come on tour with us. You're good company." He smiled. "I hope so too. But I don't want to be in Mark's hair the whole time." I admitted. "I don't think you'll be a burden at all. I've seen how Mark has been looking at you. He's head over heels for you." Matt assured.

Before I knew it, it was 2 in the morning again. For tonight, I was only planning on going back to the tent to catch up on some much needed sleep. "Are you sure you don't want to come to the hotel with me?" Mark asked, having me pinned between himself and his car. Just like last night. "I'm sure. I need sleep and I don't want to worry Ruby." I replied, trying to convince Mark. "Fine, but can I at least walk you back?" He offered. "I don't think I can say no, come on" I replied, taking his hand.

The walk back felt quicker than what it should have been. "I suppose this is where we part ways." I sighed. I was really enjoying Mark's company over the weekend, and was sad to have him not around. "It's only for now, but we don't have to separate." He hinted, but I had no idea what he meant. "Why don't we share your tent for the night? We don't have to have sex, just lay there and enjoy each other's company." He offered, making me smile up at him. "I don't think that I can refuse such an offer. I'm up for it." I replied.

[mamaladykt]

Quarantine Q&A

I was tagged by @queenrisa14 which whaaaaaaa!? God when will the Sally Fields "they like me!!!" feeling go away when ever I am tagged in anything? Does it ever? I'm always stunned people are aware of my existence. Thanks girl! Anywho!

Are you staying home from work/school?

Soooooooo, about this. Hehehe. I was working. I was considered essential. To the point that my 4 day a week job turning into 7 days a week, 12 hours a day for TWENTY days straight. It took a toll. On me and my kids. So, because my kids are now out of school for the rest of the school year, my schedule not allowing for any flexibility or a leave of absence, I put in notice last week and my last day was Monday night. I felt really good about it, felt free, came home tuesday morning and filed for unemployment on grounds of childcare needs (which was immediately flagged 🙄😭) and slept. Today was a new day, started cleaning my house for the first time in over a month...... and it went down hill from there. Horrendous night and not feeling great about the uphill battle that will be getting my kids (and husband) back on track. TL;DR yes I'm home, it's a mess.

If you're staying home, who's with you?

That would be my 5 children, my oldest daughter is 11 (dear God tween hormones are no joke!) and my 4 sons, who are 9, 7, 5, and 3. My husband is still working and I miss him during the day and wanted to boot him out tonight. Sigh.

Are you a homebody?

Yes!!! I'm an introvert. If I was well and truly alone, I would never need to leave my house. I have no issues with the idea of ordering groceries online, I just ordered my first ever iPad online and I'm trying to navigate buying glasses and contacts online (PM me with links of websites if you've done this and had a good experience). I just need Amazon to get their shit together and ship my stuff! This isn't the 90's it doesn't need to take a month to get me something. Gah! Also, if I could figure out how to get my ADHD diagnosis from home via telemedicine that would be greeeeeeeeat. Seriously never want to leave my house again.

What movies have you watched recently?

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Omg you think I watch movies... That's adorable. Yea, noooo. The last movie I watched was Frozen 2 when it hit Disney+ a month ago. I am, however trying to gear myself up emotionally for watching Avengers Infinity War and Endgame this Sunday. It's been a year..... I'm still not ok. And I haven't watched since that fateful day in the theaters. No seriously, I cried last night just hearing the opening notes to the IW TRAILER! The trailer y'all. "There was an idea....." 😭😭 Ugly sob.

Shows?

Umm, I was watching Outlander at work. I binge watched the first four seasons in like a month back in January. Couldn't wait for season 5 and lost all steam once it started. I dunno. I think it's the Brianna story line. Other than that I honestly throw on Downton Abbey or Victoria again when I need something to watch. (can you tell I have a thing for accents...) I'd love to binge watch in order from the beginning The Big Bang Theory! If anyone knows where I can get the series to stream, let me know. I've watched it out of order for years and years and love it so much but seeing it start to finish sounds like a perfect quarantine activity.

What event was cancelled that you were looking forward to?

My kids going to school on a daily basis?? Lol. No, you know what's funny. I've never gone, didn't have plans to go, but I actually shed a tear when they cancelled Comic Con 2020 in San Diego. I was hoping to go next year so it was a mix of disappointment over not streaming this year's panels/the historical significance of there not being one and feeling like next year is now unattainable because all the 2020 ticket holders will get that one? It's weird and all hypothetical and stupid. Honestly I'm a mom and I don't get to do anything. The most exciting thing on my "to-do" list that was postponed was the Black Widow movie. I have waiting 10 goddamn years for my girl to get a solo movie! TEN YEARS!!!! I needed this to distract from the 1 year anniversary of losing Tony Stark Endgame. Gah. I'm also holding my breath that Sailor Moon Crystal the movie doesnt get postponed from September to God knows when. And my October trip to Orlando for Girl Scouts USA Convention isn't canceled. I'm going to Disney World!! If Florida isn't stup.... Yea ok. 😑😒😞

What Music are you listening to?

My Seiya playlist. I have a playlist of music that I think Seiya would sing. Cuz I love him and he's cheeky and in my head he's a weird mix of Adam Levine and Brendon Urie and that's what the playlist is full of. And this one song by Dermot Kennedy called Outnumbered that is just, IMO Seiya's parting words to Usagi. That and I'm kind of obsessed with Dance Monkey by Tones and I.

What are you reading?

Other than articles about the CARES act regarding unemployment benefits, reviews of cases and accessories for my new iPad Pro (it's the 12.9 and I had no idea I bought the big one and that it's basically a touch screen iMac and I'm overwhelmed with trying to find something to protect it from my children....) or homeschool tips and tricks for kids with autism.......

So help me God, I am reading The Unintentional Seduction of Chiba Mamoru if it freaking kills me. It's been on my to-read list for freaking ever and I am dying that I haven't read it yet. And kind of hating myself. Come on KT, get your ish together sis!!! I'm sorry @floraone !!

What are you doing for self-care?

I quit my job for one. That was the ultimate self-care move. That and for my kids.

Also, Online shopping? I have purchased things for myself that I have never done before. Makeup which is so fun. Like I bought the whole Sailor Moon makeup collection from Colour Pop. I got my first Morphe palette. And big girl concealer from Tarte. Yaaaaas! My iPad and all the pink accessories I can find. A pink throw blanket because my kids have a million blankets but we have no throw blankets for the couch. What the hell? And my favorite thing, I bought a bunch of stuff from teepublic with my profile picture on it from the artist @briannacherrygarcia (seriously her work is amazing! Go check her out, I can't get enough) that created it. I mean, how cool is that. I'm usually too poor to support the content creators for which I am so grateful for. After working three 84hr weeks, I figured I deserved to splurge on something that wasn't in anyway shape or form a need. A pure joyful want. Cant be excused as anything else. It felt so good. I got stickers and an art print and a coffee mug (because coffee mugs are my favorite thing and I somehow do not have enough of them so if anyone wants to send me pretty coffee mugs!) And a hoodie!! I'm so excited.

That last question is amazing. I was feeling so down and overwhelmed by just how bad my home and everyone in it was doing after I was working so much. I am not exaggerating saying it going to take weeks to put this back together and help my kids get used to having rules and structure again. Because it wasn't gonna be a quick fix I was hating life. But listing all the ways that I managed to take care of me, something I never do, because that's what I needed the last month to literally survive, reminded me that I am in a good place and that I have time now to get this done. It took a month to get to this level of chaos it only stands to reason that it's probably gonna take a month to put it back. And shit it's not like we're going anywhere. What's the rush? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thanks @queenrisa14 for this! This was great and fun and so needed for my psyche. I tag anyone on my follows list who hasn't done this. Do it and say I tagged you.

MamaLK says take care of you and the rest will fall into place! 😘

[lauren-nabors]

day ??? of quarantine

today is easter sunday, april 12th. 

we’ve been quarantined for 26 days. our restaurant’s dining room’s have been closed for 25 days. tensions are high, emotions are flowing, people are feeling all the feels. everyone except me, that is...

i have felt nothing this entire month. i haven’t cried once. i haven’t been all that angry. sure, i’ve been tired and i haven’t slept well and i’ve been bored and frustrated that there isn’t more to do. i was disappointed when our foster care class was canceled. but honestly, i haven’t felt much emotion at all. my anxiety hasn’t skyrocketed. i don’t feel scared. i am not paranoid of the virus or of getting sick (i’ve never been a germaphone anyway so i don’t feel panicky in the way that other people do). i told clif the other day, i keep waiting to cry or to just lose it on someone. i know those emotions are there somewhere under the surface...surely? i don’t know what’s going on. i guess because i feel anxiety all the time in normal life and i always feel like i’m waiting for something bad to happen or for “the other shoe to drop” so to say -- and this is the bad thing, at least for now. so it’s here and maybe it’s not so bad after all for me at least (that feels like a horrible thing to say because it is bad for so many people and so many have lost their lives or their loved ones and in cities like nyc it’s horrendous beyond belief) i’m also a pretty adaptable person so maybe it’s more that this feels like something i can adapt to for the time being and so my role in this is to be that person that keeps moving... and when it’s all over perhaps i’ll crash and burn?

as for other, non-mental-health-related things, since i last posted things changed in our world even more. everything is different as we know it. all non-essential businesses are closed (gyms, spas, clothing stores, etc) and restaurants can still only do carry-out and curbside. our team has continued to adapt well, i am proud of how we’ve handled things. we cut our hours from 7am to 6pm, and then about two weeks ago we cut them even further back to 3pm. it just didn’t make sense to stay open and run the labor clock out when we were so slow. for the most part our customers have been supportive and understanding. we’ve had the occasional angry customer that said “well google says you’re open until 8pm” and it’s like, ‘well sure but this is also a pandemic and everyone is closing early so maybe stop trusting google so much and just expect that things might be different.’ 

church has been online for us since i last posted. we’ve been doing Redeemer west side live streams, which honestly has been encouraging for my soul to sing old hymns with Tom Jennings and hear our friend Kate from our old community group lead the prayers of the people and to see David Bisgrove’s face each week and have him lead us in the Lord’s Prayer. there’s so much we miss about Redeemer so this is both a source of comfort to us but also creating a longing and an ache that will have consequences for us when this is all over...

we’ve seen very few friends in person but we’ve facetimed with so many that we wouldn’t have ordinarily. brendon & theresa, my college girls, jen & matt a lot, my mom and dad almost everyday. it’s funny but i think i miss my mom more than anything, this is the longest i’ve not seen her since we moved back to this area after nyc. the other night we played a game online with Boyd and Sarah while on Zoom with them. it was lots of fun. Zoom is a thing now... it’s not that important. 

of course our president has handled this poorly. he is the absolute worst person you want leading your country in a time like this. he isn’t a leader at all, he’s a petty child who wants all the credit for things he should’ve done anyway. instead of leading, he takes to twitter or tv every chance he can get to say “look what i did! look what i did!” Dr. Fauci, head of infectious diseases for the CDC is leading our country through this. Gov. Andrew Cuomo of NYC has also had a profound impact not just on his state but on our country through his leadership. the situation in the city is so much worse and scarier and more real than it is here. maybe my feelings would be different (emotion-wise) if we still lived in nyc. obviously because of the denseness, the death count is so much higher there. they are building pop-up tent hospitals in central park, and facing real challenges of how to bury all the bodies of those who have passed away from the virus. KFed is a nurse at Mt. Sinai and it’s crazy seeing her photos of her in her protective gear. Brendon told us that no one is taking the subways in the city. he needed some things from his office so he walked from their apartment on 158th to his work in the 20′s. it took him all day. but he didn’t want to risk any contamination and Theresa is now high-risk because she’s pregnant (what the what?!?!?! omg so exciting! praise the Lord!) 

people are wearing masks everywhere. there are lines outside of grocery stores because they can only have a certain amount of people in the building at one time. our unemployment count in our country is higher than it’s ever been, higher than during the great depression. the economic fall-out from this will last for years to come. the senate did finally pass a 2T stimulus package called the CARES act. it has some provisions for small businesses to get money that could be forgivable if used on certain things. we applied and got accepted for both restaurants -- we will get money to spend mostly on payroll and some other overhead expenses in 8 weeks once the money is funded. they are also sending a check to every american who made under $130K last year -- so we’re supposedly getting a check sometime for $2400 ($1200 per person and $500 per kid for those families who qualify). hopefully we’ll get some of our staff back to work and extended our hours back to 6, since we won’t have to be as worried about our labor costs being high. 

i guess that’s about all i can think to update for now. as for what clif and i have been up to, well... we’ve taken a “cocktail walk” almost everyday. around 4pm we’ve made cocktails and taken them with us as we walk Lenny around the park and say hello to those of our neighbors who are outside, too. the weather has been great so we’ve been very lucky in that regard. we’ve done some yard work and clif has been doing some drawing and lots of bread baking. we’re trying to eat at home 5 nights/week and eat out the other 2. to spread the local love around, we’ve enjoyed Progress burgers, Farmer’s Gastropub, Everyday Thai, Craft Sushi and I think tonight we’ll get either Bambino’s or Los Cabos. i haven’t been doing too much because i’m not a “hobby” person so I don’t do well with stuff like this where you have to stay inside and pass the time. i’ve been reading a lot, that’s about it. here are some photos from the past few weeks: 

feeding healthcare workers in partnership with local organizations has been a highlight for us! this is Cox Hospital staff here. 

we’ve been selling both bread and flour like crazy. there has been a flour shortage in grocery stores so we’ve sold probably more flour in the last 3 weeks than in the 20 year history of neighbor’s mill. 

hot cross buns for easter -- didn’t do hardly what we would’ve normally for a holiday weekend baking-wise but we still had to do these gorgeous buns and some festive cookies and cupcakes. 

we were on the front page of the Newsleader as a “small business adapting during the time of COVID” -- we had some blowback from the photo of our bakers shaping dough without gloves on, but all ended well as we took the time to educate and had positive responses from most of our customers 

our bread at Price Cutter -- i feel like the poor stock workers were like “screw up, it’s gonna be gone in three hours anyway, let’s just leave it on the dolly” 

boredom leads clif to many funny and creative things, though not always useful -- here he made a concrete cup mold 

my dad on KY3 for a story about local support of restaurants in Harrison 

a quarantine meal when food was low -- let’s see what’s in the fridge! 

said game we played with Boyd and Sarah where we had to draw different prompts -- i am a terrible drawer! 

afternoon rose and popcorn while Lenny plays and wanders -- we began sitting on the front porch just so we could see anyone walking by on the street and have the chance to chat and be social from a distance 

not much has changed with the animals 

chalk art outside Cox South main entrance 

lol...”i thought you said CLAMdemic” card from Donita 

sign we purchased to put in front of our restaurant -- strange times 

[droxley]

pray for the wicked

pray for the wicked is considered the shittiest panic! album by many. they say that the music gets boring, and the lyrics are meaningless. while i do agree that the music can get boring, the lyrics don’t seem as meaningless as they seem at first glance. in fact, if you look closer at the lyrics, you can see that they’re actually a lot darker than they seem. while they aren’t as poetic as they were before the split, they can still require a bit of unpacking, which will be happening in this post (or an attempt at it).

DISCLAIMER: ALL OF THE FOLLOWING ARE IDEAS. I AM IN NO WAY CLAIMING THAT THIS IS WHAT THE LYRICS ACTUALLY MEAN. not all of these ideas are mine; i have had a handful of friends online who have helped dissect the meanings.

1. (fuck a) silver lining

brendon has said that the message of this song is that essentially nothing is good enough, that you should never let anything be good enough. while the mindset of “nothing is ever good enough” is a good mindset to have, if you’re a perfectionist/have anxiety and what you create isn’t ‘good enough’ for you, it can tear you down.

“no wings of wax or endless mountains” - these are both most likely referencing the greek myths of icarus and sisyphus. icarus and his father daedalus ran from king minos from crete, via wings made of feathers and wax. however, icarus, having too much fun, flew too close to the sun, causing the wax to melt and the feathers to fall off. now wingless, icarus fell down to earth. sisyphus was doomed to roll a boulder up a mountain for eternity. the catch was this: every time he got near the top, the boulder would roll back down the hill, forcing him to start over again. by saying that there will be none of these, brendon’s essentially saying that the misfortunes of icarus and sisyphus aren’t going to happen.

“sunset shadows through the trophies” - not sure what this means, but the sunset and trophies come up again in this album. ‘trapped in your sunset bungalow,’ from dying in la. ‘they wanna celebrate my medals or they want to take my trophies,’ from hey look ma, i made it. ‘oscars and emmys and grammys, everyone here is a trophy,’ from roaring 20s.

2. say amen (saturday night)

“been travelin’ in packs that i can’t carry anymore; been waiting for somebody else to carry me” - a pack is another word for group, and to ‘carry’ can mean to lead a team to victory, especially if they’re not very good or dead. brendon could be saying that he’s been leading a group, and is now waiting for someone else to come and help him.

“if i try to change my life one more day, there would be nobody else to save” - if he tries to change his life, and by extension, himself, he’s saying that there would be nobody else to save. he either doesn’t need saving, or doesn’t think that he can be saved.

3. hey look ma, i made it

this song is supposed to be celebratory, and it is, mostly. there are a few parts, like when brendon talks about how his ‘friends’ want to take his trophies from him. brendon did make it, he got to the top, but it seems like he’s sacrificed a lot to get up there.

“all my life been hustlin’ and tonight is my appraisal; cause i’m a hooker selling songs and my pimp’s a record label” - brendon is literally comparing himself to a prostitute, calling himself a hooker and the music industry his pimp. while this relationship wouldn’t be too far from the truth, saying that he’s a prostitute can be seen as a bit extreme. after all, he has plenty of money, while prostitutes are there because they have no other way to get money.

“this world is full of demons” - the world is full of terrible people and things, yes, but brendon goes all the way to say that it’s full of demons. it’s also interesting that he chose the world ‘this’ instead of ‘the.’ it’s implying that there are more worlds than this one, and that just adds to the whole vibe in king of the clouds. however, this could also be saying that there are different worlds that can be accessed by doing drugs or drinking. 

“so i do the deed, get up and leave” - brendon is, yet again, most likely referencing prostitution. doing the deed is a way of saying having sex. as for getting up and leaving, well... prostitutes get paid, satisfy their clients, and then get up from the bed and leave.

“friends are happy for me or they’re honeysuckle phonies” - he’s essentially saying that ‘friends’ are happy for him, or they’re fake. as for ‘honeysuckle:’ the victorian language of flowers used honeysuckle to show devotion. if you keep that in mind, this phrase says that his friends are happy for him, or they’re devoted fakes.

“some are loyal soldiers while these other thorns are rosy” - this directly follows the lyrics above. he’s saying that some of his friends are loyal and stay with him no matter what (soldier), while others he calls thorns. by calling them rosy, he’s essentially saying that while they do look nice, they will still draw blood.

“and if you never know who you can trust, then trust me you’ll be lonely” - if you look at the previous two phrases, he’s split the people into two groups: those who stay by his side, and those who don’t. brendon could be saying that by not knowing which one of these you can trust, you can be taken advantage of and ditched.

“think i must be dreaming, wide awake and dreaming” - this just reminds me of king of the clouds, either because it sounds like he’s on something or disassociating. it’s probably supposed to be happy, because being a rock star was one of brendon’s biggest dreams, but since it sounds so much like king of the clouds (which doesn’t really seem all too positive to me), i just can’t hear it.

the song aside, if we look at the music video, it basically says that musicians are just easily replaceable puppets. also, if the amazing beebo is supposed to be brendon and his way to fame, then that would mean that brendon actually had a phase where he did cocaine. yes, he got better, but it’s also possible that he wouldn’t have gotten better.

4. high hopes

this is the song that really helped panic! be more recognized and really helped bring in more fans. say what you want about it (i personally do agree that it is overplayed and also rather repetitive but... listen to the instrumentals?), but this song is one main component in panic!’s success today.

“stay up on that rise and never come down” - you’re going to have to come down at some point. he’s at the highest point at this song, but the anticipation for when you’re going to come crashing down nearly overpowers that.

5. roaring 20’s

there’s a lot to unpack on this. buckle up.

brendon has said that this song was based off his time on broadway and kinky boots, but there seem to be references that could be based off touring.

“broadway is black like a sinkhole” - brendon was on kinky boots on broadway. he has said multiple times that it was a good experience overall. so then why would he say that broadway is black (a color often associated with evil), and like a sinkhole? it would be interesting to note that a sinkhole is something that’s caused by a collapse in the surface layer.

“this is the oddest of summers” - i don’t want to look too far into the fact that he chose to use the word ‘odd.’ there are a fair amount of synonyms, but he chose to use the one that’s in the album title of pretty. odd., which is interesting. on top of that, summers (or at least the day and night/sun and moon) seem to hold a deeper meaning in panic!’s lyrics. there are multiple mentions in pretty. odd. and v+v.

“the past on the pavement below me” - earlier in the verse, it is sung that the narrator of this song is on the rooftop. something on the pavement below them would probably mean that it got either pushed off, or it jumped. either way, it’s dead. brendon is essentially saying that the past is dead. but did he push it, or did it jump?

“my telltale heart’s a-hammer in my chest” - the tell-tale heart is a short story by edgar allan poe, narrated by someone who tries to convince the reader that they’re sane while describing how they murdered an old man. at the end, the narrator gave themselves up, as something caused them to hear a hammering noise that they interpreted as the heart of the dead man. why exactly brendon would put this reference in this song, i’m not sure, but referencing books/stories is something that has happened often, especially in afycso. it’s also interesting that he would refer to the telltale heart as his. in addition, using this reference adds to the overall vibe of the song. murder and insanity aren’t very happy things to be writing about.

“cut me a silk tie tourniquet” - silk is often a way of showing off wealth and status. a tourniquet is a way to help staunch bleeding. again, this just adds on to the imagery of the song. more blood.

“this is my roaring, roaring 20’s, i don’t even know me” - it sounds like brendon’s looking back at himself and who he was, and that he can’t even recognize himself at this point. this also sounds self deprecating in a way. your twenties are supposed to be around when you peak, as you’re still young, but have the freedom to do whatever you want. this idea is further helped by the fact that the word ‘roaring’ is put in there. (of course, that could just be a nod to the time period.) however, the ‘i don’t even know me’ just sounds like he’s getting high all the time and letting the past all blend together, like “look at me, i’m peaking, i’m out here getting wasted.” not remembering what happened is a side effect of excessive drinking and sometimes drug use, which seems to be a recurring theme in this album. the fact that excessive drinking and drug use is a repeating theme is... concerning, to say the least.

“roll me like a blunt cause i wanna go home” - brendon smokes weed a lot, as proven by his many videos and streams online. so much that it has apparently gotten into his songwriting. the ‘i wanna go home’ just sounds like he’s tired of what he’s doing and just wants to relax. if this song was inspired by his run on kinky boots, what exactly happened there? there were a few incidents where fans would shout and scream in his face when he came out after shows to sign brochures, which would make sense. brendon has anxiety, and if the fans didn’t back off, an anxiety/panic attack could happen. (there are already a few cases of this happening, one being in the sydney airport.)

“oscars and emmys and grammys, everyone here is a trophy” - saying that a person is a trophy doesn’t say very good things about that person. a lot of celebrities can be objectified by their fans, but be glorified objects. hence, a trophy. brendon could also be saying that people are often reduced to the trophies that they have won and aren’t considered human. either way, the overall idea of this phrase is not very positive.

“hallucinations only mean that your brain is on fire; if it’s lord of the flies in my mind tonight i don’t know if i will survive” - lord of the flies is about a group of boys who get marooned on an island and go insane. they initially try to keep some sort of order, but ultimately sink into chaos. at one point, some of the boys set fire to the forest to try and smoke out another one of the boys. this is most likely the part that brendon was referring to. it’s like his brain is the forest. he’s saying that he tries to keep his head and thoughts in order (lord of the flies in my mind), but it eventually sinks into chaos and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to survive.

“lighters up if you’re feeling me” - lighters are used at shows, often to show support/approval for a musician. the ‘if you’re feeling me’ would probably refer to the approval part. something interesting, though, is that during live performances of northern downpour, the band would ask everyone to specifically put their lighters up.

“fade to black if you’re not mine” - if you’ve seen the overture, or the video that was released to help tease fans for the release of vices & virtues, there is a bar scene. there’s one scene where there are two shadows in the foreground. they’re supposed to represent ryan ross and jon walker. i’m not saying that this is what brendon meant, but it’s possible.

“i just need a sign or a signal inside” - he’s just feeling hopeless and empty at this point, waiting for something to prove that he’s human, maybe. there’s a parallel in always from vices & virtues: ‘blink back to let me know that i’m skin and bone.’

6. dancing’s not a crime

“i’m still uninvited” - brendon has said that this song is about how he’s often the ‘obnoxious friend who’s always dancing in public,’ which, let’s be honest, isn’t a great title. he’s uninvited because he is that friend, but the ‘still’ is important to note. it implies that he hasn’t been invited in a while, which... hurts.

“i’m going insane and i don’t care” - he’s just become numb to everything. he could be literally going insane, or he could be feeling like he’s going insane because of various drugs that he could have taken.

“if you’re night crawling with him i won’t take it lying down” “don’t call me saint california if you’re at another altar” - both of these sound like brendon’s s/o is cheating on him, but... he’s happily married?

7. one of the drunks

this song is, rather obviously, about drinking. it also sounds incredibly disorienting.

“welcome to the club” - this phrase is often used to welcome people to a group, and is also sarcastically used to welcome people to a really shitty part of life.

“orange juice, pour out half the carton; gray goose, pour it, get it started” - these two are the ingredients for a cocktail called a screwdriver: half orange juice, half vodka, or gray goose, in this case. the thing that catches my attention is the fact that you’re pouring out half the orange juice carton. this is half the drink. you would have to use enough vodka to fill in the other half of the carton. if you said that the carton was maybe a liter big, you’d be drinking half a liter of extremely strong alcohol. and since it’s mixed with orange juice, you’d probably just drink more alcohol than you originally thought. this is... a lot of drinking.

“good times remedy your sorrows” - he’s saying that good times cure your problems, what you’re stressing about.

“baptize” - to baptize can be to clean yourself of all your sins. a lot of people resort to drinking to try and forget their sorrows, to drown them. this could be considered an incredibly twisted form of baptizing.

“don’t worry about tomorrow” - this might refer to the hangover that you would definitely have the next day. it is also, needless to say, extremely shitty advice. however, if someone were to follow it, they would find themselves blackout drunk, depending on how bad their issues might be.

“every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends” - every weekend with your friends is a bit... excessive, but normal for some people. it’s with your friends, so you’re having fun. however, ‘every weekday when it ends...’ i assume ‘it’ is the weekend. in which case, he’s saying that he’s partying every weekday, and since it says nothing about friends, he’s probably just drinking and partying on his own. which is a new level of yikes.

“it’s all good, i guess” - if the ‘i guess’ wasn’t in there, it would be fine. you’d be able to tell that he’s having fun, it’s all good. the addition of ‘i guess,’ just adds in a lot of doubt. is he not having a good time? this part also sorta sounds slurred.

“searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb” - he’s high, but wants to be higher, hence the ‘high as the sun.’ this might be because of being uncomfortably numb: a high is known to give you a bit of a buzz. maybe he’s just looking for that buzz, and consequently getting higher and higher.

“never dry, every day you’re thirsty” - in this case, i assume ‘dry’ means alcohol running out. being thirsty every day probably means the cravings for alcohol, which only serves to bring into the light how bad this person’s possible addiction is.

“bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy” - only sipping until you’re tipsy probably means you’re going to be drinking more. a lot more.

“night’s young, searching for a feeling” - there’s that numbness again. drinking a lot can help mute your feelings. the fact that it’s not too far into the night says a lot about how much this person drinks.

“round and round and round” - he could be talking about a round of drinks, or the fact that the room can feel like it’s spinning when you’ve had too much to drink. this part just sounds dizzying in itself.

8. the overpass

this song sounds like two people who are just pining for each other.

“let me hear you say something” - these two people haven’t talked in a while, or it’s been a long one-sided conversation.

“sorry to get sentimental tonight (that perfume lingers in your hair), it’s just that everything reminds me of things i thought i shouldn’t have to see again” - it sounds like he’s been having a good time, but the smell of *that* perfume just reminds him of something he thought he’d never had to think of again. brendon sounds like he’s apologizing for ruining the good times they’d been having.

“(you need me don’t you)” - this could have two ways of being read: ‘you need me.’ and ‘you need me... right?’

“meet me, meet me, at the overpass, the overpass; sketchy girls and lipstick boys; troubled love and high speed noise” - an overpass is a place where a lot of people would do things that are pretty sketchy and probably borderline illegal. the phrase ‘sketchy girls and lipstick boys’ just serves to cement that image, and ‘high speed noise’ would probably be referring to the cars or trains that would be passing by nearby.

“i know you wanna meet me, meet me at the overpass” “i have a shirt that keeps your smell, you keep one too in parallel” - it sounds like both of them are pining for each other, but chose not to do anything about it, or can’t.

“but i remember every time; every thing about you is perfect, down to your blood type; but i remember every time” - he sounds drunk in this, and the background vocals are mixed together, which just heightens that. the blood type comment is a bit creepy, and honestly sounds like one that you’d only make while drunk.

9. king of the clouds

brendon was high while writing this, and it’s possible that he was rambling a bit. however, the final lyrics are the edited version. he had to have revised the lyrics many times to get them to rhyme and to fit into the music. even then, the gist of the lyrics is that the narrator of the song needs to get high in order to escape from the world, and all that’s in it. it seems to be centered around insomnia and dissociating, and that is honestly sort of scary in itself.

“every day, i’m carl sagan in space to escape this old world, this old world” - carl sagan was an astronomer, along with a few other things, and his most famous work had to do with being the first to send physical messages into space that extraterrestrials would be able to translate. being in space means that there’s no sound, and all in all you would be incredibly isolated from the rest of humanity. brendon is escaping from this world, and he’s calling it old. from that, you can assume that he’s tired of this world. in hey look ma, he said that ‘this world is full of demons.’ another way of looking at this could be by considering ‘old world’ as africa, europe, and asia. ‘old-world’ can also be a way to say ‘old fashioned.’ so he could be thinking that he’s in ‘space’ to escape the old fashioned ways of thinking (homophobia, etc).

“some days i lie wide awake till the sun hits my face and i fade, elevate from the earth” - the lying awake part is probably about insomnia. this happens to people with anxiety a lot; probably has something to do with brendon and his thoughts keeping him up until sunrise. second part: brendon was, as stated before, high while writing this. to fade is another way of saying to get high, and to ‘elevate’ helps with that imagery as well.

“far away to a place where i’m free from this weight” - far away probably means to space, which in turn is probably getting high. this weight is probably gravity, which probably symbolizes his thoughts and stress. so, in short, brendon could be saying that he gets high to get away from his stress for a little while.

10. old fashioned

“from a kiss to a swill” - a swill can be a large mouthful of drink, such as ale. again, alcohol. this probably means that brendon and some other person kissed and drank.

“we were swallowin’ the nights like we had nine lives” - acting like they would stay young forever, partying a lot during the nights?

“seventeen so gone” - brendon was seventeen when he first joined the band.

“we were borderline kids with a book of disorders, medicating every day to keep the straightness in order” - brendon’s probably referring to the medication he used to be on that dealth with his adhd and anxiety. keeping the straightness in order probably refers to keeping his mental disorders in order.

“so pour out some liquor, make it an old-fashioned” “two dashes of the bitters, add some ice and you pour” - these lyrics reference how to make a drink called an old-fashioned. an old-fashioned is a ‘cocktail made by muddling sugar with bitters, then adding alcohol… and finally a twist of citrus rind.’ again, the theme of drinking comes back.

11. dying in la

“the sun was in your eyes” - this could be referring to two things: the first being that the california sun can be extremely bright and blinding, and this could just be a way of saying that there is a sense of awe (‘you couldn’t believe it’). this could also be referring to the idiom ‘having the sun in your eyes.’ it means to be drunk. this person could be literally drunk, which wouldn’t be surprising, given the context of this album, or they could be drunk on the possibilities now that they are in la. however, i’m not sure if this is an actual idiom that people have heard and use often.

“riches all around; you’re walking, stars are on the ground; you start to believe it” - the hollywood walk of fame is located in la, and has the names of famous celebrities in stars that are embedded in the ground, as a monument to their contributions to the entertainment industry. these lyrics could mean that, surrounded by riches and seeing the names of celebrities, the narrator of this song started to believe in their own success.

“every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you” - this is most likely referring to the hollywood boulevard, a place where all kinds of people, including ‘dreamers,’ flock to.

“nobody knows you now when you’re dying in la; and nobody owes you now when you’re dying in la” - this could be interpreted as the narrator knowing no one while in la.

“nights at the chateau, trapped in your sunset bungalow; you couldn’t escape it” - this is most likely about the chateau marmont, located on sunset boulevard, in west hollywood. even the cheapest rooms are rather expensive, and the bungalows are amongst the higher end of the spectrum. the not being able to escape could be about not being able to escape how much money you have, if that’s understandable. the more money you have, the more media is going to be on your back about things, because that’s how this world works.

“drink of paradise” - this could be referring to alcohol, as it can help people forget their worries. hence, ‘paradise.’ a paradise is also a cocktail. yet again, the theme of drinking returns.

overall, this album is… quite a bit darker than i first imagined. thank you for reading all the way through if you did, and feel free to add on, whether it be other lyrics, or your opinion on the same lyrics.

[sfthearts]

Serendipity part 4

Word count: 2090

Ok so before we begin, the timeline in this is off from real life. This is before Panic gets big, presplit, they’re starting to book small shows, only everyone’s in their early/mid 20’s instead of 18/19. You won’t see any band members in this story because I am too lazy to write band scenes and this miniseries is over soon anyway 🤪

Ok I think that’s my only note? Other than that, I never proofread any goddamn thing so as always if something doesn’t make sense lmk I wrote this broken up over like 3 different days so ya

Kbye enjoy 😊

—————————-

(Y/N’s POV)

“Wow, it’s really you! I can’t… I can’t believe this! What are the odds?!” Brendon says, bewildered that the girl he knew so long ago was right in front of him once more.

“This is insane! I never thought I’d see you again!” You agree with him through your giggles.

The shock of everything mostly sobered you up, but a bit of your buzz still stuck around.

“So! Tell me everything, what have I missed out on in the last decade and some without the lovely Y/N by my side? You look fantastic, by the way.”

Your stomach does a little flip, you blush and thank him, telling him how handsome he’s become as well.

Even though it had been so long, you felt just as comfortable talking with Brendon as the day you left town. You observe the tattoos on his forearm as you begin to talk. You tell him everything he requested, How your parents were doing these days, why you ended up here in the city, your job, and even past relationships. Brendon listened with full attention, capturing your every word in his mind. Even back then you recognized that Brendon genuinely cared about you, and it appears that hadn’t changed.

(Brendon’s POV)

“So what about you?! What’s been going on with you!” Y/N asks you excitedly.

“Well, where do I begin?”

You tell her all about your life since she left, how you left your parents religion, and how they hated that but ultimately repaired the relationship you had with them, your move to the city, the small band you were in that was starting to take off, enough to pay your rent at least, and everything in between. She looked at you like you were telling her the most important and interesting story ever told, and you loved it. Just like at the party, her eyes sparkled and you couldn’t get enough of them.

“Wow, So it looks like we’ve both missed out on eachother huh? Tell me more about this band! That’s so cool! You’ve always loved music, I’m so happy for you, Bren.” She says sincerely.

“Thank you. Yeah it’s a lot of fun! It’s myself and a couple of my friends, we mostly play local venues but people are really starting to catch on!” You gush. As she had pointed out, you had always loved music. This was your biggest dream, even if it was still on such a small scale right now.

“Brendon that’s amazing! So do you play an instrument or sing?” She asks. You tell her you do both, but primarily sing in the band.

“I didn’t know you could sing! I can’t wait to hear you sometime. When’s your next gig, I’m totally crashing it” She says while laughing.

“Next weekend! It’s at this little bar downtown, I’m not sure if that’s your scene or not…” you trail off somewhat anxiously. You really want her to go, but you wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to go to some sweaty bar just to see you perform.

“Of course I’ll be there! I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Hell, I’ve already missed so much.” She say quietly. You can tell she feels bad about not being around all those years ago. You pull her into a side hug and look down at her.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. You couldn’t help it, Honey. Plus you’re here now, so let’s go right now and make up for lost time!” You say excitedly, an idea forming in your mind.

She looks up into your eyes and you swear your heart stops beating for a second. God, she was so beautiful.

“What do you mean?” She asks. “My friend is still in there, I have to at least tell her I’m leaving and make sure everyone else showed up”

“That’s fine! Let’s go back in and then I’ll take us somewhere cool?”

She nods her head and you stand up, taking her hand and helping her up from the bench as well. She doesn’t remove her hand as you walk with her back to the entrance, so you don’t either. Your brain is going haywire with nerves, you’ve always loved this girl for who she was, funny and fearless and strong but still soft and sweet. These days she’s still all of that and more, plus she’s also added stunning to the list. You still couldn’t believe any of this was real. Even as you looked at the smiley girl walking next to you, her hand in yours. A small smile formed on your face when you looked down at her, she looked up and met your gaze.

“What are you smiling about?” She asks quizzically, still grinning herself.

“Nothing you need to worry about, little one.” You say back simply. She shrugs, continuing your walk to the back of the bar where her friend was seated, now joined by a larger group of girls.

“Hey I’m so sorry I ditched you, but this is Brendon. He actually was my childhood best friend and we reconnected tonight!” She explains to her friend, who’s eyes have now lit up with the new revelation. She waves Y/N off with a “no problem” and tells her that everyone showed up right about when we walked outside, so she wasn’t alone for long.

“Do you mind if I steal her away for the rest of the night? We just have a lot of catching up to do and this bar isn’t exactly the best place to do it.” You ask, and before the words can finish leaving your mouth, her friend has turned you both around and pushed you in the direction of the door.

“Have fun! Make good choices!” She yells after you, and you both take this as your cue to leave.

(Y/N’s POV)

“Soooo.. where are we going, B?” You ask once you’re in his car.

“I know this little spot... you know what, I’m going to keep it a surprise. Do you trust me?” He smiles a big, beaming smile.

You nod and grab his free hand. Without question, you trust him.

He nods approvingly at this and continues driving to your destination. As he drives, his thumb absentmindedly rubs back and forth on the top of your hand, and your heart flutters again. You’re crushing on this boy something SERIOUS, you admit to yourself. You silently pray that he felt the same way.

A song plays on the radio and Brendon begins singing along quietly. His voice is phenomenal!

“Holy shit Brendon! You sound so beautiful!” You tell him, he giggles the cutest giggle in the world and thanks you, saying you’re being way too kind.

“No, for real! I’m not just being nice, if you weren’t really that good I wouldn’t have said anything at all. You’re incredible, Bren. Really.” You insist, looking up at the side of his face now. His cheeks are slightly pink and he has a permagrin, the kind someone gets when they don’t want to get their hopes up, but can’t help it.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.” He says sincerely, and you feel satisfied that he at least somewhat believes you now.

A yawn sneaks out of you and you try to cover it, but Brendon notices.

“Are you tired? You can fall asleep if you want, we’ve got maybe 20 minutes before we get there. O-or I can take you home? I don’t want to keep you out if-“

You stop him short with a smile. “No no, I’ll just take a little power nap. I’ll be fine I promise.” You tell him, squeezing his hand that was still in yours, which you certainly hadn’t forgotten about.

“Alright. Take a nap, I’ll wake you when we get there.” He says with a sweet smile on his face, and that’s the last thing you see before sleep washes over you. The sounds of his quiet humming and the soft music swirl around in your head as you drift away.

(Brendon’s POV)

She’s out cold in less than 5 minutes, and even in her sleep she’s still holding onto your right hand tightly. You look over at her sleeping figure and your heart nearly bursts.

“Oh man. Y/n why are you so damn adorable?” You whisper to yourself with a smile painted on your face.

You know if you told anyone how you felt right now, they’d say you’re crazy for feeling this way in just one night. You know it’s abnormal, and you know it’s a big risk putting your heart out there like you can already tell you’re going to by falling so hard so fast, but you can’t help it. They say when you know you know, and you absolutely know. Being with her already feels like what you always imagined finding “the one” to feel like. This scares the shit out of you, but you couldn’t be more giddy all at the same time.

A short while later, you arrive at your destination.

“Hey Honey, wake up, we’re here!” You say quietly while gently shaking her shoulder.

She stirs and blinks her eyes open, smiling when she sees you. You smile back.

“Hi Bear” she says, her voice soft and small.

“Hi Honey. Are you ready to get out of the car?” You ask her. She nods and unbuckles her seatbelt, releasing your hand from her grasp. Immediately, you miss the warmth and the contact, but probably wouldn’t ever admit that to anyone but yourself.

You reach in the back for the blanket you keep back there for emergencies and get out of the car. You jog to her side, opening her door before she has the chance. She looks up at you and laughs a little.

“My, what a gentleman!” She states as she stands up, stretching. “Where are we anyway?” She asks, looking around at your surroundings. On the surface, you had brought her to what looks like some regular public park outside the city.

“Come with me, there’s the most incredible view of the stars over the lake through this clearing.” You explain, reaching for her hand. She quickly gives it to you and you walk her to your favorite spot.

You would come here at night sometimes to think, or write music, or just be alone. It was your safe place, your place away from the noise and the lights of reality.

Placing the blanket down on the ground, you sit down and pat the space next to you for her to sit. Instead of taking that, she sits down right between your open legs and leans back into your chest. Your heart rate skyrockets, but you hope she doesn’t notice.

You point up at the sky and show her all the constellations that you’ve gotten to know over the past few years you’d been coming out here. She seems to soak up every word you say, which you love her even more for.

“I know you probably don’t care about this stuff but I’m glad you’re listening” you tell her. She shakes her head quickly

“No, no I’m enjoying this. So much, Brendon. Thank you.” She says, and you smile, telling her you’re happy to show her.

She turns around to look at you, neither of you saying a word. Quickly, your eyes dart to her soft looking lips and back up to her eyes. Something in them tells you to listen to your heart, so you do.

(Y/N’s POV)

You see Brendon’s eyes move swiftly from your eyes to your lips and back up, and you’re hoping with everything that he would just-

and his plump, perfect lips were on yours. You kiss him back as soon as you realize it was happening. It was soft and sweet, and his lips tasted like minty lip balm.

You feel him smile into the kiss, making you smile too. You pull back and break the kiss, both of you grinning and blushing deeply.

“You kissed me” you say, smile still plastered on your face.

“You kissed me back, I was so scared you didn’t like me back like that but I had to take a chance and try because I’d regret it forever if I didn’t…” he trails off, as he realizes he’s nervously rambling. You’ve noticed he has a habit of doing that. You beam up at him and lightly brush your hand along the side of his face.

“I’m so glad you did.”

[robinrunsfiction]

In the Middle of Summer - Chapter 1

Pairing: Ryan Ross x Reader, mentions of past Brendon Urie x Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: None Author’s Note: With regards to the AOL screen names, according to my research those are Brendon and Ryan’s old livejournal screen names. The dialogue in the instant messages? Real. Saved by weirdo me in 2006 on my external hard drive because I knew that it might make something interesting one day.

Spring 2005

“Hey (YN), how’s it going?” Ryan called when he spotted his friend sitting on the porch of her parents’ house.

“Hey Ryan, things are good. What’s up?” She asked, putting down her book as he walked up.

“Did I see Brendon walking down the street from this residence late last night?” He asked with a sly grin.

“Ryan, shut up!” She said in a hushed tone, hopping off the step and smacking him in the arm. "My mom is home! I can’t get grounded before prom!”

Ryan laughed at her reaction. “We wouldn’t want that because it’s gonna be awesome.”

“Did you finally ask Melissa?”

“Yea, I’ll get to it,” he said rubbing the back of his neck

(YN) laughed. “Uh huh, better get to it. Brendon asked me weeks ago. Bought me flowers and everything.”

“Oh yea? Did he bring you flowers last night when he gave you that hickey?” He asked with a laugh. (YN) gasped and pulled up the collar of her jacket.

“Shut up!” She squealed.

“(YN), who are you talking to? Oh hello Ryan!” Her mom called from the open front door.

“Hello Mrs. (YLN). You look well rested.” Ryan replied as (YN) glared daggers at him.

“Oh, well thank you Ryan,” she replied with a puzzled tone as she walked away from the door.

“You are such an ass!” (YN) said hitting him on the arm again as he cracked up. “I’m going to go finish my homework.” She said turning back toward her house.

“You already got in to college, what do you care about homework for?”

“I have advanced placement tests soon. Not all of us are gonna be famous rock stars.” She replied rolling her eyes.

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Oh, will I be seeing Brendon around tonight?”

(YN) flipped him off as she walked in the house and heard him laughing as he headed home.

“(YN), what did Ryan mean when he said I looked well rested?” Her mom asked as she walked into the kitchen to grab a soda.

“I have no idea mom, he’s weird.” He said as she rolled her eyes and retreated to her room.

~

“Ok, we have to get one of everyone together,” someone’s mom called from the group of parents that stood with cameras ready to snap photos of the teenagers in formal wear waiting anxiously and awkwardly for the night to commence.

Everyone shuffled into position for the photos. In the middle stood (YN), wearing a sky blue strapless dress, her hair pulled into an up-do for the night and a white rose corsage for her wrist. Brendon wore a tie that matched her dress, and looked downright dapper in his suit.

Ryan had finally mustered up the courage to ask Melissa to go with him and she accepted happily. Brendon, Ryan and a few others pooled their money to rent a limo to drive them to the event.

Once the parents were satisfied with the photos, they piled into the limo and headed to dinner and then the dance. On the way there, flasks were slipped out of jacket pockets and passed around.

When they walked into the rented hotel ballroom, they immediately ran into Spencer and his date, as well as their friend Brent. They found a table to sit down at where they watched people dance. 

After a few fast songs, “You and Me” by Lifehouse started to play and Brendon offered (YN) his hand. They went to the dance floor and swayed together to the music. He smiled down at her and kissed her sweetly. She was so happy to be at their last high school dance with him under the balloons and streamers that decorated the room. After the song ended they danced to a couple more songs before retreating off the dance floor. Brendon went to the bathroom and (YN) found Ryan leaning against the wall in the back. He had shed his jacket and his tie, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

“Having fun?” She asked as she leaned against the wall next to him.

“Yea, it’s a good time,” he replied. “I heard Brendon got you guys a room.”

(YN) rolled her eyes at her friend.

“Wait, really? That’s so cliché, (YN)” he teased.

(YN) gave her Ryan a look and was about to sass him back when suddenly there was a flash which drew their attention.

“Hey guys, look over here for a photo” Spencer called and snapped another photo of Ryan and (YN) leaning against the wall. “Oh that will be great, I’ll get ya a copy.” He said before running off.

“Ryan, can we go dance?” Melissa asked as she approached Ryan, leaning into him.

“Sure,” he replied as she headed back to the dance floor. “(YN), have a good night, be safe.”

“You be safe,” she retorted in a sarcastic tone as Ryan walked away.

“Wanna get out a here?” Brendon asked when he came back, discreetly holding up the room key card.

“Sure, let’s go,” she said taking his hand and heading out.

Summer 2005

The end of the school year was filled with celebrations for the senior class. (YN) was preparing to leave for college, but before she could start to focus on that, she had to throw her annual Fourth of July party. She had been throwing Fourth of July parties for her friends since middle school when her parents started to let her buy fireworks from the stand at the corner store. It was an event she looked forward to every year.

That afternoon of her party, (YN) put out coolers full of soda, snacks and her parents fired up the grill as she waited for her friends to arrive. Brendon and Ryan were the first ones there. She greeted Brendon with a big kiss. Ryan gave her a dejected look once she and Brendon had separated from their kiss, so she gave him a hug as well. Not long after, more people showed up and everyone was having a great time talking, laughing and eating. Once the sun started to set, it was time to go to the park to watch the city's firework display.

"I can take 4 in my car,” (YN) called as the group gathered up blankets and coolers.

“I can take a few in my car” Spencer announced as well.

“I have my mom’s minivan” another girl called out. The convoy made their way to the park and staked out a large open space. Some of the families sitting nearby looked on disdainfully as the group of loud teenagers descended upon them.

(YN) found herself sitting on a blanket by Ryan, as she couldn’t find Brendon around at first. She kept glancing around and eventually spotted him talking to some other girls. She shot Ryan an annoyed look and he just shrugged in response. 

“We aren’t going to make it to the end of the summer.” (YN) said out of nowhere as she stared into space.

“You’re going away for school, are you surprised?” Ryan replied.

“No, it’s just annoying. He doesn’t have to act like he’s already single.”

“He’s making a mistake, but that’s his problem.” Ryan said with a reassuring smile. 

A few minutes later Brendon finally rejoined them and settled in to watch the fireworks display. Brendon wrapped his arm around (YN)’s shoulders, but she looked over at Ryan and rolled her eyes. She wasn’t going to forget what Brendon had been doing minutes before.

~

A couple weeks later Ryan had just gotten home from hanging out with Spencer and Brent and was turning on his computer in his room when he glanced out the window and saw Brendon walking down the street from (YN)'s house. He signed in to AOL Instant Messenger and saw (YN) was online. He hadn’t talked to her since the Fourth of July, so he felt he was due to give her some crap.

i_amclandestine: did I just see Brendon leaving again? you crazy kids

(YSN): yea, actually he just dumped me

i_amclandestine: ouch, sorry.

(YSN): whatever, I knew it was coming

(YSN): I should have done it myself when I had a chance :(

i_amclandestine: doesnt make it any easier

(YSN): you’re telling me. 

Ryan did his best to try to change the subject and get her mind off the heartbreak. She appreciated the gesture, and after chatting for about an hour she went to bed feeling much better than she was before.

~

The rest of the summer the friends spent as much time together before the gang went their separate ways. On a Friday night, they found themselves in the bowling alley for a sendoff party. (YN) was in front of the claw machine game, loading it with quarters in an attempt to win a stuffed green tiger. 

“Damnit!” She yelled, hitting her fist on the glass of the machine as the plush toy fell just outside the shoot. Ryan noticed and walked up next to her.

“You want me to win it for you?” He asked.

“No!” She shot back. “I wanted to win it myself, but I’m out of quarters.”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. “Here, try again.”

She took a quarter from his outstretched hand and put it in the machine and started maneuvering the claw above the stuffed cat. She pressed the button, dropping it and it grabbed the toy, pulling it in the air. Ryan watched (YN) as she held her breath as the claw moved the stuffed toy over the shoot. As the timer ran out and the claw opened, the stuffed cat fell into the opening and she pulled it out triumphantly.

“Yes! I did it!” She shouted, holding the cat in front of Ryan’s face.

“Nice job! Although some would argue that I’m part owner of it since I did finance this.”

“Fine, I’ll let you have weekend visitation.” She said with a grin. He grinned back and a flutter went through her stomach. Was she starting to feel something for Ryan? He was Brendon’s best friend, she wondered if that would make any of this weird.

They went back to bowling and he sat down next to her and started playing with the stuffed cat. “Ya know, if you take this off to school with you, I’ll have to come visit you to get my visitation.”

“Well then sounds like I’m going to be that weirdo with a stuffed animal in her dorm,” she said with a smile.

The rest of the night at the bowling alley, she found herself flirting with Ryan whenever she got a chance. It felt good to be getting some attention for the first time since Brendon dumped her a few weeks before.

~

Ryan was working on a new song when he heard the phone ring and saw it was Brendon. The friends made small talk for a while until Brendon got to the point of his call.

“So I was talking to Gabe about his going away party. He said you and (YN) were kinda all over each other.”

“I don’t know why that matters, you’re the one that dumped her," Ryan retorted, irritated that Brendon would even bring this up.

“Come on! You know that’s kind of weird. Besides she’s gonna be going away to school soon, do you really think it’s gonna work out?” Brendon asked.

Ryan sighed. He really had hoped Brendon wouldn’t find out, and if he did that he would be ok with (YN) and him going out. The guilt started to eat at him. It’s not like things had gotten off the ground between (YN) and him yet. He ended the call and went to bed that night with a sick, sad feeling in his stomach. The next day he had resolved that he had to talk to (YN). That evening when he signed on to his computer and saw she was online.

i_amclandestine: (YN), are you busy?

(YN) was going through her clothes and deciding what to take with her to school, but was more than happy to take a break to talk to Ryan.

(YSN): not really, what’s up?

i_amclandestine: so, the relationship between us

(YSN): yea

i_amclandestine: are we only a short term thing for you

i_amclandestine: till you find someone in college?

She was taken aback. What was he trying to say? That he didn’t want to pursue anything these last weeks of summer?

(YSN): If that's what you want

i_amclandestine: well i was wondering what you were thinking

(YSN): I really have no idea

i_amclandestine: k, so i was thinking

(YSN): yea

i_amclandestine: i figured that soon as you go to college that we wouldnt be seeing each other for awhile maybe on hoildays and stuff but thats the only times i guess

i_amclandestine: and im sure that you would find someone in the school year

(YSN): I'm actually gonna be back more often than that

(YSN): but I guess I'm wondering where we stand then

She sighed, she felt that nervous feeling in her stomach again. She knew deep down where this was going.

i_amclandestine: I don’t know if i want to anymore

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. How could she be so upset over something that never went past flirting?

(YSN): That's what I thought you'd say

i_amclandestine: ok, but friends still

(YSN): duh

i_amclandestine: good friends

(YSN): right!

i_amclandestine: better than friends

(YSN): where are you going with this?

i_amclandestine: nowhere, just checking

Ryan sat back and sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. He knew it sucked now, but she was a pretty girl with a great personality. She was smarter than he could ever hope to be, and it was in his own best interest to let her go off to school without him tying her down from a distance.

(YN) dried her eyes and put a My Chemical Romance CD in her player before turning back to her computer. Ryan was still online, but it seemed like the conversation between them was done for the night. She saw Brendon was online and felt compelled to talk to him. She needed a different male perspective. She filled him in on everything that was going on, not sure if Ryan had talked to him or not, but she wanted him to hear her side of the story.

(YSN): so now I have another "good friend"

part_time_lovah: you’re gonna be alright

(YSN): yea, I'm just disappointed and bummed out

part_time_lovah: yeah, but he's a good guy

(YSN): Brendon, I met you because of him. I’m aware he’s a good guy, I’m just thinkin I’m gonna take him out of my myspace top 8 for a while

part_time_lovah: right

part_time_lovah: well i gotta go to bed, night (YN)

(YSN): night, and thanks for being a good friend

part_time_lovah: you bet...i promised you that I’d always be there for you when needed

After that night, (YN) spent the last few busy days of summer packing and cleaning her room to leave for college. She spied Ryan around the neighborhood but decided to just leave him alone. After a few days she wasn’t mad at Ryan any longer, but she was still disappointed that he wasn’t willing to try with her. She was looking forward to the fresh start that college would provide.

Chapter Two