#so this was very very new for me and I'm happy about this

[luvrrszn]

messy

RAFE CAMERON x FEM READER (18+)

summary coming back from college, the last thing hookup!rafe expects to return to is rumours that you’ve been sleeping with jj

warnings angst, happy ending though!, lowkey miscommunication, all characters r of age !! brief jj x reader but that's just for the plot okay...

a/n ok stay with me now basically reader is 18 (graduated hs, but taking a gap year) and she's the same age as jj/john b/everyone else while rafe is 19 and was having his first year in college !! yo why did this idea lowkey come to me in a dream during a nap Zzzzzz and ooc kelce for this one my bad

masterlist

it was supposed to be a summer thing.

something fun, fleeting, memorable yet forgettable. a secret, of course, because rafe would never risk his reputation by being seen with a pogue, would he?

but the sneaking around was useless, everyone knew that something was happening between the two of you. well, everyone that mattered anyway. they saw the way his eyes lingered a second too long on you, how his grip tightened just a little when he led you through crowded rooms. they noticed how you always left parties together.

but none of that meant anything.

it's casual, it's just convenient.

that's what the both of you told anyone and everyone who asked.

that's what you kept telling yourself when you found yourself wanting more.

especially when rafe told you he was moving away for college.

—

at first, you waited.

you told yourself it was a polite thing to do, waiting for some time before getting with someone else.

but in reality, you were waiting before moving on, in hopes that you'd get a text from rafe, who was hundreds of miles away, a text that would change your relationship.

but it never came.

then the daily check-ins and "miss u babe" texts lessen in frequency.

you're lucky if you get a text once a week.

you think maybe he's just busy. give him the benefit of the doubt right? maybe he's still trying to cope with the new workload, or making new friends.

you're proved wrong when you click on topper's close friends' story on instagram.

weekend after weekend, rafe's clubbing, partying, with a different girl on his lap each time.

well, if he's clearly not bothered to text, why bother waiting?

—

and when he finally remembers that his sweet girl is waiting for him, you're not waiting anymore.

you don't even bother to open his texts.

why?

because you're too busy having fun with jj!

it's casual, fun, spontaneous with jj. you don't have to worry about being seen "too close" in public, it's just you and jj maybank having fun!

you party, go to the beach, hanging out with your friends. you surround yourself with your people, always making sure you're too busy to be thinking about rafe. you bury your feelings deep, and do anything you can to take your mind off of it.

having grown close to rafe's friends too, you go to parties on both figure eight and the cut, always with jj. and you make damn sure everyone sees.

you secretly hope rafe's friends tell him.

—

in the weeks that follow, you're too busy having fun fooling around and partying with jj to notice the text from rafe that tells you he's coming back for winter break.

—

"hey, you gotta hurry a lil if you wanna get some of the good booze before the kooks get 'em all!" jj yells at you from down the stairs.

"i'm coming, just wait!" you huff as you struggle with your earrings as you walk down the stairs. you had spent the night at sarah's just so you could get to the party down the street more easily.

when you get to the landing of the stairs, jj lets out a low whistle as you do a little spin. you're wearing a short sparkly skirt that barely covers anything, and a very low-cut black lace tank. remembering that it was rafe's favourite outfit of yours sends a pang of sadness through your chest, but you push it aside.

the moment you step out onto the street, you can already hear the loud music blasting from the house down the street. you and jj race down the road, and of course you win! (he let you win...)

"yo! see you brought your little dog with you today." kelce chuckles, handing you and jj a bottle of beer each as you two enter through the front door.

"hey, y'know i'm just playing. good to see you, maybank." kelce says, arms up in mock surrender once you glare at him. he winks at you, and then he disappears into the crowd.

after dancing for what felt like an eternity, you slip upstairs to the bathroom to get a bit of air and space.

when you finally push open the bathroom door, the muffled bass from the party instantly flooding back into your ears. the air is thick with smoke and spilled liquor, the dim hallway lights flickering unevenly. as you step out, adjusting your top, your breath catches in your throat.

there he is.

rafe fucking cameron, back from college, standing at the bottom of the stairs like he never left.

he's leaning against the wall, one hand lazily gripping a red solo cup, the other tucked into the pocket of his jeans. his gaze is already on you—intense, unreadable. the kind that makes your stomach flip in a way you wish it wouldn’t.

you immediately look around for an escape route and you realise you're fucked, with no way out except down the stairs, past him, and out the front door. when you finally refocus your gaze on rafe, he looks different, somehow. sharper. more tired. tall, so tall. you don't remember him being that tall.

but despite everything, he's still the same rafe—the same cocky tilt of his head, the same way he takes up too much space without even trying.

you force yourself to keep walking, gripping the wooden railing as you descend the stairs, ignoring the way your pulse pounds in your ears. you won’t give him the satisfaction of stopping.

but of course, rafe doesn’t let that happen.

the moment your foot touches the last step, his free hand curls around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. the grip isn’t tight, but it’s enough—enough to send a shiver up your spine, enough to remind you that he’s right here.

"didn’t think i��d see you here, bug," he drawls, voice thick with amusement. his fingers skim down your arm, lazy and deliberate. familiar. "heard you’ve been keeping yourself entertained while I was gone."

your plan worked. he'd heard about you and jj. but why on earth were you feeling like absolute shit?

you wriggle out of his grip.

"get out of my way, rafe." you grit out before darting through the crowd and out of the front door.

but he's hot on your tail. he's not letting you go, not this time.

he grabs your waist and spins you around, holding you in place this time, so you don’t slip away.

"don’t act like you care now, rafe. let me go." your voice is soft, pleading almost.

his smirk falters for half a second. but then, just like that, it’s back—only meaner this time.

"oh, but i do," he murmurs, stepping closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "see, i come home after months away, and what do i hear?" he tilts his head, eyes dark. "that my girl has been playing house with a pogue?"

the way he calls you his girl doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you’re too angry to care.

"but that’s the thing, rafe! i am a pogue! i’ve always been, and that’s the issue you’ve always had! you’ve always been too ashamed of that, so why do you care about me now? you can’t move away and expect me to turn my life upside down for you once you get tired of college girls and come back to outer banks!"

and for a while, rafe is stunned. he’s never seen you this angry.

rafe’s jaw tightens. his grip on your hip flexes before he snatches his hand away, like your skin suddenly burns him. his smirk is long gone now, replaced by something darker—something stormy.

"that’s not—" he starts, but he stops himself, exhaling sharply through his nose. he drags a hand down his face, as if physically trying to pull himself together.

because you’re right. and he hates that.

his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, his shoulders rising and falling with the weight of whatever he’s trying not to say. when he finally looks at you again, his eyes are sharp, frustrated.

"you think i don’t care?" his voice is lower now, rougher. "you think i came back and the first thing i did was find you because i don’t give a shit?"

you fold your arms over your chest, willing yourself to hold your ground. "i think you came back because you ran out of things to distract yourself with," you snap. "and now you’re just—what? picking up where you left off? you don’t get to do that, rafe."

before you can react, he pulls you into his chest. your enveloped by his familiar smell, his cologne, his shampoo. he has one arm around your waist, the other cradling the back of your head. his chin rests on the top of your head.

you don’t even notice you’ve started crying until you feel rafe’s grip tighten, his hand splaying against the small of your back like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

"shh," he mutters, his breath warm against your hair. his voice has lost its usual edge, no more cocky drawl, no more sharpness. just rafe. just the boy who used to sneak into your room at night when he had nowhere else to go. just the boy who left, but still came back.

you try to push away, but he doesn’t let you—not completely. his hold loosens just enough for you to look up at him, your vision blurred with tears.

"you don’t get to do this," you whisper, voice shaking. "you don’t get to leave and come back like nothing happened. like i—like i didn’t—" you cut yourself off before the words spill out.

like i didn't matter

like i didn't miss you

like i didn't love you.

rafe stares at you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. his thumb swipes gently over your cheek, catching a stray tear. the touch is so soft, so familiar, so cruel.

"you think i didn’t miss you?" his voice is hoarse now, strained, like he can’t believe you’d ever doubt it. "you think i wasn’t losing my fucking mind without you?"

your breath hitches.

when you finally regain your composure, you whisper, "you left for college, rafe. what was i supposed to do? wait around for you?"

rafe exhales sharply, shaking his head, "it's not about that. it's about you acting like you didn't care when i left—then immediately turning around and shacking up with jj!"

"you are mad that i didn't wait around for you!" you scoff incredulously.

you shake your head, scoffing again. "unbelievable." you turn to leave, trying to escape his embrace, because if you stay, you’ll say something you’ll regret. but before you can take a step, you're right back in rafe's arms again.

"i didn’t think i had to ask," he says quietly.

you freeze. his voice isn’t angry anymore—it’s something else, something raw, something that makes your chest ache.

"i thought you knew."

you swallow hard, refusing to look up at him. "knew what, rafe?"

he lets out a breath, tipping your chin up with his fingers so you look at him.

"that it was never just a summer thing for me."

rafe's confession leaves you breathless.

"and because i can’t stand watching you act like i don’t mean anything to you when i know that’s not true." he continues, voice softer, warmer.

your stomach twists. "you don’t know anything."

rafe steps closer, his hands settling lightly on your waist. "don’t i?" his voice is lower now, rougher. "you think i don’t notice the way you look at me? that i don’t feel it every time you’re near me?"

you shake your head, but your fingers have already found the hem of his shirt, gripping the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.

"you’re full of shit."

"maybe." his lips twitch like he’s fighting a smirk, but there’s something softer in his expression. "but you still want me."

you hate that he’s right. you hate that no matter how mad you are, no matter how much you try to push him away, you still want him just as much as you always have.

and he knows it.

rafe leans in, his nose brushing against yours, giving you every opportunity to stop him.

you don’t.

the moment your lips meet, it’s over. the tension snaps, the anger dissolving into something hungrier, needier. his hands grip your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you let him, let yourself melt into him like this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

because maybe it is.

"so what now?" you whisper, voice somewhat uncertain.

rafe exhales a small laugh, shaking his head. "whatever you want."

you roll your eyes. "that’s not an answer."

"wow, i could feel you rolling your eyes."

he tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. "then here’s one: i want you. not just when it’s easy, not just when it’s convenient. i want you."

"no more sneaking around?"

"no more sneaking around." he smirks. "i’ll even let jj live."

you shove at his chest, laughing despite yourself, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the weight that’s been sitting in your chest lifts.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

FIRE BREATHING—wait, haven't i seen this before ?! - the dragon's route ☆ !

cashmoneyyysstuff's big 6K event!!

synopsis : big red horns, sharp fangs, fiery breath and a blazing temper—meet your new mate katsuki !! and.. the big ass whole in your wall ?!

you were hoping to start your day off like usual, but apparently it seemed the universe just didn't want it that way.

based on the something that had just blasted through the wall of your dorm room.

despite almost jumping to your ceiling, you're still in a daze. which is why when you managed to catch a mop of blond through your misty eyes—despite the big ass red horns and massive wings towering behind its back, the first word you uttered was a sleepy—

"kahsuki...?"

after which, you promptly fall back asleep.

when you wake up again. you jump to the ceiling again, but for a couple of different reasons.

you've definitely overslept and were no doubt going to have to rush to class.

your boyfriend was mostly likely already on his way to your dorm room and would definitely not be happy to have to wait for you.

it feels pretty chilly all of a sudden, you realise— only to then realise there was a damn hole in your fucking wall.

hole in the wall. something blasted through your wall. something was still in your room when you fell back asleep. you fell back asleep.

how the hell did you fall back asleep ??!!!!

"i was wondering when you'd awaken, you sleep like a log." the deep rumble of the something's voice startles you. you look to your right, only to see...

"katsuki ?"

except it wasn't...quite him. big red horns had sprouted along the sides of his head, his bored slanted eyes seemed just a bit sharper, just a bit redder. you could catch the glint of a little red earring, and you absolutely couldn't miss the mountains of jewellery he had dangling around his neck. nor the tribal looking tattoos (when'd he get those done ?) on his arms and his very exposed chest.

he hums, choosing to ignore your words to continue staring at you. "i'll ignore you using my name so casually, 'cus your face isn't..." he trails off, reaching a large hand out to smush your cheeks together "...too bad to look at." he settles.

you're absolutely, completely, positively, stumped.

"what are you talking about ?" you paw at his wrist to get him to release you. he doesn't let go, but he does relent and soften his hold slightly.

"how'd you get in my room ? and wha'd ya do to m'wall ?" you ask sleepily, bleary eyes squinting at your boyfriend's bored face.

"you called for me. so here i am." he answered simply. simple as that and it looked like he had absolutely no intention of elaborating. you, still being very sleepy, decide to say the only other thing on your mind.

"i didn't know you liked cosplaying..."

katsuki tilts his head, everything on him dangles "what the hell are you on about ? prattling on like that...you humans say some strange things."

you turn to look at the giant hole in your wall, really look at it.

you point towards the sun shining in your face, reminding you it was very much time to wake up "wha—ka'suki, my wall—"

"i'll fix it later." your boyfriend groans. "but why ?"

"i just told you—"

"but i didn't—"

knock, knock !!

you both perk up as a rather loud series of bangs rattle your door. oh god, katsuki was here and you still hadn't gotten dressed!! you can already hear him complaining—

wait but—

you turn to look at katsuki with the horns. he's let go off your face by now and his eyes are fixed on the door like he's ready to pounce.

you jump, leap up from your bed. grab a fistful of your handle and swing it open and—

"katsuki ?"

"the hell are doin' ? class starts in like, twenty minutes ! i swear, this is the last fuckin' time i'm coming to pick your ass up..."

he rambles and mumbles and you know he's lying cus this is the second time this week he's said this exact same phrase. but you feel like you've just been hit dead on by a sound grenade.

wait but—

"the fuck happened here ?!" katsuki's eyes immediately flit to your decimated wall, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry, and then his eyes flit past you to katsuki (?) already on his feet still in front of your bed. . . .

"AND WHO THE FUCK IS THAT??!!"

"MORE LIKE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ?!" katsuki barks. and you cannot believe it when your boyfriend starts bickering with...himself.

god, you wish you could go back to sleep.

"...can anybody tell me what's happening here ?"

"that's what i'd like to know !" you're boyfriend exclaimed from the your left, foot tapping impatiently on the floor, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed "sensei, you better deal with this weirdo 'fore i do it !" he warned.

"as if ! don't make me laugh, like a weakling like you could lay a finger on me." your boyfriend, the one on your right and with the— oh yeah —the horns and a tail—growled. arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed, legs spread out laying back like he was demanding dominance in the room, occasionally glaring at the other teachers walking in and out the lounge.

you have a margin of about .2 seconds, a singular eye twitch from your boyfriend before they're both shooting up from their seats, foreheads almost knocking against each other " HAH ?! you trynna talk shit wearin' my face, you faker ?! i'll roast you alive !" your (original ? is that what you should call it ?) boyfriend's already rolling up his sleeves, hands popping in warning.

the dragon barks out a loud laugh "try it if you want, i"ll rip you apart 'till there's nothin' left of ya !" he growls, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

all you can manage is a sigh while they bicker, missing how the both of them shoot you a brief look. until your homeroom teacher sends chills through all three of your spines, sending you a harsh glare and a singular rackle of his throat sends every ounce of killing intent in the room flying, overpowered by the dead eye of the man before you. you didn't sign up to have your fight of flight instincts kick in this early in the morning !

neither of them sit back down, but they do rip they gazes away from each other to look at the bigger threat in the room, occasionally sending each other nasty side eyes.

mr. aizawa rubs at his temples and lets out a very, very tired sigh, pushing his hair back "now...can anyone tell me what is happening ?" he starts up again, he sighs when no one seems to have an answer for him. the black haired man points to your boyfriend with the horns "you, answer quickly—what's your name ?"

the horned boy grumbles, but lowly growls out an answer "bakugou katsuki, better not forget it.." you hear your boyfriend let out a quiet scoff on your other side. aizawa sensei ignore it, quickly whipping a finger towards him.

"you. has anything happened to you recently ? have you had any strange interactions lately ?"

katsuki racks his brain, thinking for a moment before he grunts "mm, i guess...was out to get groceries last weekend and this weirdo bumped into me. started apologising like crazy too, somethin' about how 'the after effects shouldn't be too bad' or whatever."

"that's suspicious as hell !!" you gawk "why didn't you say anything when it happened ?!" you exclaim.

"i don't fucking know, thought he was just a crackhead or something ! how was i supposed to know this was gonna happen ?!" katsuki shoots back, pointing over to his doppelgänger. mr aizawa nods to himself, mildly intrigued.

"okay, so we've narrowed down our cause...the problem is what we do now." you bite your lip in thought. your boyfriend finally takes his seat back next to you and the beast stiffens, immediately shooting back down next to you as well and even scooting his chair closer to yours. getting an unimpressed eye-roll from your boyfriend, before he sneakily tries to do the same.

"ain't it obvious ? all we gotta do is send this bastard back where he came from." you turn to look up at the beast katsuki's shoulder pressed to yours. honestly as unbelievable as it was in this situation you couldn't help but be reminded of those cheesy otome games you used to like when you were younger. or those random 12 episode anime you'd watch where the main boys would fight for the girls love—except this was your boyfriend ! and if the room wasn't so tense this would kinda be a dream come true—but you needed to focus !

"uhm, well...katsuki..?" and both of them immediately turn to you, it almost makes you jump—snap out of it. "..how do we send you back ?" katsuki stares at you then sends you an amused huff.

"wouldn't know," he shrugs. and then he's already so close but leans in closer and if you hadn't backed up in time your noses would've bumped. "pretty bold of you to try and send me away after you called me, sweets. but you're not getting rid of me that easy."

your skin heats up despite your best efforts "i—keep telling you i didn't call you ! i don't even know how i would do that !"

he's so in your space, leaning in ever closer despite you trying to keep your distance and he talks to you lowly "if you're worried about these morons hearing you, rest assured i'll clear this place out in no time. no different from any old dungeon in here." he boasts proudly, you can practically taste your ticking time bomb of a boyfriend about to basically implode from next to you.

quickly, you place your hand on top of his leg basically by instinct. his leg stops bouncing but he still sounds anything but pleased, he practically burns behind you as he grumbles under his breath. you feel bad for your homeroom teacher who can only watch and sigh.

"anyway. we'll wait and see what happens after a while. l/n, this bakugou seems pretty attached to you so i'll grant you and excused absence to watch over him until we get this sorted out." the older man explained. your katsuki immediately straightens up.

"oh, fuck no ! i'm not letting' her stay with this creep ?!"

"i know it might not be ideal, but you can't exactly take him to class." your teacher sweatdrops. the blonde can't exactly disagree and he curses under his breath. you take this chance to reassure him, rubbing his leg soothingly.

"i'll be all good, katsuki. you don't need to worry." you smile

your boyfriend searches your face for any signs of distress, sends his clone one look then immediately looks back at you with hardened eyes " i'll stay with you then."

your teacher cuts you off before you can respond "i don't remember allowing you to cut class, bakugou." you both stiffen at his tone. you feel a bit bad when you see how conflicted he looks between being a secret goodie two shoes and wanting to watch over you.

"hey," you assured, "i'll be fine. besides, it's still you so it shouldn't be all bad." you tease. and even though he still looks a bit worried, katsuki resigns and sighs lowly saying "if he does anything to you i'll fucking kill 'im." you pat his shoulder in agreement and katsuki sets out to go to class (not before sending horned katsuki a very deadly glare you're sure would've killed anyone else if it wasn't to designated to...himself.)

your attention is brought back to your teacher who is also starting to make his way to class, grabbing his sleeping bag and complaining about being 'too tired for this...'

"well i'll leave you to it. l/n, if you need anything let me know." and though he stays deadpanned, the tone of his voice is warm and you know he means it, you nod, he sighs, then leaves you alone with katsuki...number two ?

you could make the best out of this, you had to until you could figure something out. "well, let's try to get along then, yeah ?" you smiled, reaching a hand out to shake his. katsuki scowls down at your hand like it was nasty before grabbing it and pulling you up with him until your pressed right against his chest, you can see the identical faded scar under his eye better now, your heart hammers hard against your chest. or was it his ? you can't tell the difference.

he presses his nose to yours "i won't accept you treating me like your comerade. you're mine, i'm yours, and you will treat me as such." he commands. he leans forward and bites your cheek softly "understand ?"

all you can manage is a dumb nod. katsuki seems happy with himself, and smirks. he squeezes your hand then tells you to lead the way. you nod robotically, and while you walk back trying to avoid crowded hallways, you remember.

"ah ! hey, about my wall..!"

"tch, i got it. told you i'd fix it didn't i ?"

as promised, katsuki had fixed your wall, somehow. you won't question it.

aside from that, it was just you and your literal other worldly boyfriend now.

currently, you've been allowed to skip class. seeing as it would be quite the hassle to bring what looked like a barbarian bakugou into class. he had already caused enough trouble in the teacher's lounge and your homeroom teacher had determined that if he worked like any other bakugou, he'd be manageable with you around.

your katsuki, your boyfriend katsuki, had used any free time he could find to check up on you through text, openly very opposed to leaving you alone with his clone (although the other katsuki insisted that your boyfriend was his clone.) but you managed to reassure him. and you'd really, really like to avoid another death match like the one from this morning.

so, it was currently just you and him.

"so what do you wanna eat, you must be hungry right ? we've still got left over pancake mix in here if you'd like !" you call from where your head is hidden inside the cupboard.

you're a little bit happy that you're able to properly have breakfast considering you did sleep in. you turn to see dragon katsuki (he insisted on the fact that he was in fact a dragon and not a demon.) still carefully scanning the common room with his eyes. looking around for anything off like a hunter as he slowly makes his way over to you.

"you don't have to be scared, y'know ? it's just us here." you manage to tease, you think you're only able to mess with him because he is your boyfriend...in a way. he huffs loudly, chest puffing out while he continues to scan the area "don't insult me, m'not afraid of nuffin'." he boasts.

yup, definitely your katsuki...

"alright, tough guy.." you hum. picking up all your ingredients to begin making your breakfast peacefully without kaminari around to try to catch a lick of the batter or a bite of your pancakes. dragon katsuki finally gets curious enough seeing you prancing around the stove and makes his way over to you, looming over your shoulder, he runs very warm and you will yourself to ignore it.

"want some ? " you ask, still whipping your batter around, adding some extra milk to make it extra fluffy.

"what is it ?" he asks, scrunching his nose up. he leans closer to your shoulder to sniff at the mix.

"pancakes—well, not yet, but it will be." you explain. "they're good." you reassure and he grunts. which with your katsuki, was usually meant as an agreement.

you freeze up for a moment when you feel him lay his head on your shoulder, before promptly continuing. is this still weird even if it's your boyfriend's clone ? other version from another dimension ?

"so...what brings you here ?" you spoke awkwardly. katsuki's breath hits the side of your neck when he turns to look up at you.

"i've told you a million times already." he almost whines.

"and i keep asking because you make no sense ! i didn't call for you, i would've just...used my phone if i wanted you over !" you spluttered.

"that flimsy piece of plastic is as useless as the rest of your human technology. that has nothing to do with it." he presses his hand to your heart and speaks lowly when he continues "this called for me, right here." you feel your heart hammer, no doubt he feels it too because a soft little smirk forms on his face. "so, i came." a bigger smirks builds on his face when he looks up at you "you should be grateful really, i don't give my time to just anyone."

you scoff, he banters exactly like your boyfriend too. "oh, i feel so honoured that you destroyed my wall." you deadpan.

he rolls his eyes with a whinge "but i fixed it, no ?"

"there was no need for you to destroy it in the first place ! talk about a first impression." you huff.

"you're mine, no need for first impressions if i already know you were made for me." katsuki grumbles.

your heart skips despite itself, you try to remain poised "yours, huh ?"

"you are, and you seem to like the sound of that, too." he smirks.

"do not !" you deny.

"your heartbeat has picked up again—oh, and again just now—" you shrug your shoulder to try and nudge him off, embarrassed. but all it does is make him laugh and wrap his arms around you. you try to ignore the fact he is very shirtless behind you. you pour your batter onto your skillet.

"it did not, you liar."

"ya forget my hearing is superior to yours, sweets. i hear every little sound you make. can't hide shit from me."

"la, la la—damn, this is sizzling so hard i just cannot make out a single thing you're saying !" you say dramatically loud. you feel katsuki shake his head and he leans up to nip at your ear like he knows it'll make you squeal.

yup, that's your boyfriend alright...

the dragon boy has destroyed about ten pancakes and two glasses of juice before he calls it quits. he's a bit of a messy eater, but you don't mind much. (that is one difference you've managed to find between him and your boyfriend.)

you're sitting across from him and now that you've calmed down you take your time to look at his features. you really look at him.

"what's your name ?" you ask. he raises a brow at your sudden question, gulping down a last bite of fluffy pancake.

"you know my name." he answers simply.

"just—c'mon !" you whine, he rolls his eyes but relents anyway.

"bakugou, katsuki."

" okay..." you continue warily " how old are you ?"

"eighteen."

built like that ?! although your boyfriend's always had a pretty...impressive body—you quickly shake these thoughts away. okay, same age as your boyfriend.

"favorite food ?"

"don't care s'long as it's spicy."

"what's your favourite colour ?"

"fuckin'—who cares ?" he grumbles.

holy shit, this was your katsuki.

"i just don't get it, you're both so much alike !" you marveled, stretching out across the island table, dragon katsuki makes a displeased face at your words but doesn't comment, licking his fingers.

"you look so much like katsuki, too—well, my katsuki, other than the horns.." you look down behind the high chair he's sitting at, his now missing tail. he'd told you he could tuck it away, somehow. things could not get any weirder than this, you're sure. "...and the tail."

katsuki pops a maple syrup covered finger out of his mouth to stare at you. "i am your katsuki. and if you're talking about the usurper you shouldn't worry, i'll have dealt with 'im soon." he spits out, scowling down at his plate. then he looks around the room. "where is he, anyway ?"

you sweatdrop "you don't need to worry about him right now, yeah ? it's just us two here." and you fail to notice the way his eyes zero on you at your words "and please don't do anything to him, i'd rather not have my boyfriend try and kill...himself ?" you wonder, running a hand across your forehead. too focused to realise the dragon boy had made is way over to you.

you squeak when you feel a hard head of hair knock against the side of your skull, nudging at you like a cat. and instinctively, you turn around to meet eyes identical with the one's you love so much. his eyes are sharp and fiery red as they fix onto yours.

"you're too focused on that guy...stop thinkin' about him so much when your mate's right in front of you, dammit..." he mutters, cheeks slowly turning pink and the hard base of his horns dig against your scalp. your heart thrums faster inside your chest. this katsuki was so different and yet so similar to the one you were used to. it simply felt like you got to see another side to the boy you loved.

"don't start getting jealous of yourself now, suki." you tease. you put a bit more of your weight against him and he pushes back with a low growl, closing his eyes and nudging against your head and neck. you could've sworn you just heard a sort of purr sound coming from him ?

"that sham is everything except me, quit insulting me." he shoots, you can feel his jaw tighten from where he's nestled in your shoulder and it's literally instinctive how your hand reaches up to pet his hair and—oh, there it is again, that rumble that comes all the way from his chest that you feeling radiating through your bones. he seems very happy.

you snort at his words and decide to mess with him "my sincerest apologies, is there anything i can do to make you forgive me ?"

but then he's leaning up to look at you and the atmosphere is tense, so tense. you're tempted to hold your breath. he looks at you intensely, studying your next move like you were actual prey.

"i mean..." he starts quietly "there is something you could do..."

oh, oh it's coming. you know that look.

god, he really is your katsuki. you quickly squeeze your eyes shut and wait, but what you expect doesn't come. you peek at him when you feel his forehead connect to yours again. he speaks, still just as quiet but just as intensely.

"promise me. promise me you'll be mine. forever." he orders, breathing getting just a bit heavier, or maybe that was yours—had it always been this hot ?

"y-yeah, yeah of course i am..." and he leans in to lick at your cheek, gnawing at it like a dog.

you giggle "yes, i promise !" he seems happy with your answer, a softer smile forms on his face as he looks at you like you're treasure.

"right, i'll hold ya to it then."

and the instant you blink—he's gone.

you're left alone to think about what the hell just happened, left with the extra dishes you'd made for your mysterious guest.

about a few hours later, your boyfriend—the non dragon one—practically charges into your room, almost destroying your door in the process. you'd heard him stomping down the hallway so you weren't too phased.

"where is he ?! where is that fucking overgrown, horned, lizard fucker at ?!" katsuki charges in like a bull—hands popping and ready for action, he's looks like he's sweating a bit too and you wonder if he ran here.

"he's already gone, suki." you giggle, putting your phone down to properly look at him "he left a few hours beforehand. i guess there's a sort of time limit to this quirk, huh ? but then i wonder why it acts so late.." you think to yourself out loud. you've just noticed that your boyfriend has been way too quiet when you suddenly feel your bed dip and his big hands drop down onto your cheeks to turn you around as he sees fit, ignoring your squeals of protest.

"what happened while i was gone ? did he do anything—did he touch you ?!" your boyfriend rambles. you grab his wrists with both hands and smile with puffed out cheeks.

"welax, an' lemme go ! m'okay !" your muffled voice squeals out, your laughter makes your boyfriend shake his head with a huff, releasing you softly although he doesn't let you go fully yet, leaning down a bit more to get to look at you better, both of his knees dig into your matress where you're laying between him.

"honestly, he wasn't a big deal. we just had some food and chatted a bit. he was nice, real sweetheart." you explained, your boyfriend's face scrunched up more and more as you do. you snort and reach up to pinch he's cheeks "don't make that face, you'll get wrinkles, handsome."

katsuki shoo's your hands off, scoffing but feeling himself blush at your petname. he takes his turn to grip your wrists.

"shut up, don't talk about that weirdo like that. bastard was a damn shape shifter an' your treating him like the love of your life 'r something..." he groused, you giggle.

"well..." you tease. katsuki immediately cuts you off with a sharp "don't." his eyes squinted and sharp but he rubs so softly at your wrists and blushes even harder. when he backs off of you, he flops back on your bed with a harsh sigh, he's still holding onto one of your wrists.

you play with a short strand of his hair in your reach, twirling it around your finger with a silly smile "it was kinda cool, though. it was so freaky how alike you guys were." katsuki's nose pulls up at your ceiling while you speak "he was just as much of a brat as you were, it was cute."

your boyfriend looks at you incredulously, squeezing your wrist in reprimand "you're such a weirdo. don't go sympathizing with a clone."

"actually, i think he might be from an alternate dimension."

"durr, actually, durr—" katsuki mocks you with a nasally voice "doesn't matter and no one cares—clone's a clone. and i'm better."

"oh, yeah. totally." you joked, chuckling when he looks at you skeptically. then, he flips over to lay on top of you with his full weight "oof ! fuh—katsuki !" you wheeze out. your boyfriend only makes himself more comfortable, letting out an exaggerated sigh into your neck like he hadn't heard you.

"well, anyway...i'm glad things have gone back to normal. as much as i do love you, i think one katsuki is more than enough for everyone." you manage, reflexively carding your finger through his hair, to which a happy noise rumbles out from his chest, almost like the dragon boy you'd talked to just a few hours ago.

you think having two katsuki would be too much for your heart to handle, as irritating as he is.

"got that right." your boyfriend said groggily, letting out a small yawn into your warming skin. " i'm the only katsuki you need anyway."

you don't know if he misunderstood you on purpose, but you feel him smirk against your shoulder when you burst out into laughter, and you think that's just fine.

"mhm, dragon or not, you can't out do the doer, hm ?" you tease.

"damn right." your boyfriend shoots back and you both share a laugh.

this day had been rather crazy, but you couldn't find it in yourself to complain about it. you're happy to find out even another version of katsuki was as annoyingly endearing as ever, and that you loved him just as much.

and most importantly, that everything was back to normal now.

and especially your wall.

taglist ! ( if your name is in bold i couldnt tag u :(( ) :

@jastoo46 @cecelia77 @erenstitanweave @closehereyes @stoned-anime-babe @taxavoider @yannvi @sugurusmoon @allurearia @kaerotica @wonubby @cupidsblonde @catsoupki @ita606 @andysdrafts @omitea @lili-of-the-vally @serpent-hearted @ghostorchidd @shewki @pirana10 @witch-craft-works @kanvis @okkotsuus @dragonscribble @emmiesarchive @screaming-dough @napbatata @cacaandweewizzsstuff @redollface @meowsannie @katszumi @m-inluv @monchurie @the-hangry-otter @starlostlaiba @moonshuul @katsus-mistress @dondeh-zedonutqueen @liluvtojineteyam @aspiringwriter1111 @redvelvetstan1 @niktwazny303 @nemisimp @kit-katsukii @alphasage @milktea-academia @qyuin

[seitmai]

I have so many things to say

"I have it scheduled for December," she snapped. "Six weeks from now. It's not perfect yet, and you know how much I like perfection."

I get Cat, but I think if she knew the reason she would not mind at all 🤭

"I absolutely refuse to mention this to Bickel," Cat whispered, reminding you she was at work while you were in your living room. "You can talk to him about it yourself, but I will not. Because I value my relationship with my commanding officer." "I'll take care of Bickel. He loves it when we're ahead of schedule," you replied, biting your lip as you realized you would very much need his permission to push your plan forward. And you weren't sure you could get it.

No worries about Bickel, BG and Bickel are like this🤞🏻

His thick arm was flung across the spot where your body belonged, and you could see his fingers twitching along the bedding like he was searching for you. 

🥺🥺🥺

Your eyes blinked slowly before closing, and you realized you were exhausted, too. The adrenaline that had filled you when you were in Bradley's office was drained now. Your belly was full from lunch, and Bradley was so warm. Even the baby had settled into a gentle squirming pattern like she knew you needed a break.

Glad the whole family can a catch a break and much needed nap finally 🙏🏻

"How am I supposed to finish the story when you keep distracting me? Now we'll never know if the silly goose finds his friends, and that's your fault, Nugget."

But we need to know if the silly goose finds his friends!!

Rose giggled more, and Bradley tossed the book aside to give her kisses while you watched from the end of the hallway. He was the most perfect father, and you should have never doubted him. You wanted to apologize a million more times, but when his eyes met yours, you simply said, "I love you, Roo."

Good god I'm so glad they are all back together as a happy family 🥰

"She probably has been," you cooed, easing yourself down onto the floor next to her. She promptly started crying hysterically. "She associates you with fun. I think she only associates me with food," you said, pulling your shirt over your head. "That's not true," Bradley insisted, staring openly at your breasts which were starting to leak. "You're so much more than a perfect rack."

And he would know 🤭

"Rosie and I took care of it. You needed to sleep, so we went to Costco. Did you know they give you twice the number of free samples if you take the cutest baby in the world?"

I feel like Rooster could get everything with Rose strapped to his chest 😅

As soon as his big hand circled her back, you heard her burp. It always took you twice as long. This was also the first night in weeks Bradley was home at this early, and you felt tears prickle your eyes as he walked around singing to Rose about the silly goose and his friends before vanishing into the nursery. It didn't take him long to return empty handed, and when he did, you were crying on the couch.

He is really good at this dad thing 🥹

"Are you too tired to finish the story?" he whispered. "You're going to leave me on a silly goose cliffhanger?" He swore she nodded. She probably did, she was so fucking smart. She could roll over and crawl, and soon she'd be talking and walking around. 

I'm sure she did, wanted to make sure her dad would read without her 🤭

He dropped to his knees in front of you. "What's wrong?" "Nothing," you whispered, shaking your head. "I'm just happy you're home tonight."

It's the simple thing 🥹

"No. It's not. None of this is fair to you, and I'm not even talking about Indigo right now. You need me helping more at home, and I haven't been. I took this new position so I could be here more and be deployed less, but I fucked it up. I'm thinking about asking Mav to pull me."

I love takes he takes responsibility and really actions to change 🫡

You're so sexy. But that's her fucking problem at the end of the day, not yours. And I won't let her make it ours."

This just cracked me up 😅🤭

Bradley closed his eyes as you kissed his nose and his cheeks. "I just want you to be happy," he whispered. "I'll do whatever I can to make my family happy." When you said, "You already reported her, right?" he nodded. "That makes me happy. And if you come home on time more often, that will make me happy, too."

Makes me happy too 🥰

You hummed and nodded. "Let me make sure I don't piss Bickel off tomorrow before I agree to that. I don't want to request time off with my tail between my legs." Bradley raised one eyebrow. "I'm scared to know what you need to talk about that could make him upset." "The less you know, the better."

Hahaha I love BGs mischievous side

Bradley grunted. "Each Nugget gets to read my personalized thoughts on parenthood when they're older."

🥹🥹🥹

You looked taken aback as you pulled your hand away from his body and sat up. Bradley groaned, eyes raking all over you as his cock tented the bedding. "I was going to put a bra on before I fall asleep. It just felt nice to take a break for a few minutes. Is it bothering you? I'll put it on now." You were pouting, and he was sweating as you started to climb out of bed. "Jesus Christ, Sweetheart. Come back," he begged, wrapping his fingers around your wrist. "You look so fucking hot, I can't focus on anything."

He is almost drooling I just know 🤭

Your laughter filled his ears, and colors erupted behind his eyelids as you worked your hand down to his balls. "You really never stopped wanting me?" "I've wanted you nonstop since the moment I first saw you," he whined, and then your lips wrapped around his cock. Bradley's eyes flew open, watching you give him head, but after a minute of pleasure, he was reaching for you. "I won't last another minute." You smirked and licked him from balls to tip. "It makes me feel good knowing you can't stop looking at my body." He forced his gaze from your nipples to your face. "And it will make me feel good to swallow your cum before letting you suck on my tits."

🤭😮‍💨🥵

You couldn't stop smiling the next morning as Bradley kissed your cheek while you tried to put your contacts in. "Can I have a little space, Roo?" you asked sweetly. "No," he whispered, crowding in closer. "I can't stop touching you." "If you let me get ready for work, I'll blow you again tonight. He took an immediate step away, hands up in surrender. "By all means, have as much space as you need, Sweetheart. I'll get Rose up and let her crawl around with Tramp."

Hahah i cant with him 😂

After you brushed your teeth, you went to the closet. The maternity tent taunted you from the back corner, but you decided to squeeze into your regular uniform. "You'll have your day soon enough," you whispered. But your mind was already focused on work.

BG to the tent:

"I want to have lunch with you in the cafeteria today." Your smile grew as Bradley's rough fingers tangled with yours. "That sounds nice. Not sure what time I'll be able to get away though." "Text me. Whenever you're free, I'll make it work."

I juat love simp Bradley

He was kind and patient, and as soon as you got into it, you weren't nervous at all. "How do you feel about testing our code on some grounded Super Hornets ahead of schedule?" Kicking the project off early could actually be beneficial, and you knew it. It was a pretty easy sell. "It could give us a little more time to work out any kinks before the end of the year." Bickel leaned back in his seat. "I'm not sure Lieutenant Commander Coleman is finished with the preliminaries." "Oh, she is," you told him with a smile. "She's way ahead of schedule, because she's brilliant."

The way she sells it and at the same time gets some good points in for Cat is chefs kiss👏🏻

Your heart was racing. It was the moment of truth. This might not work out at all. "Do I need to choose randomly?" Bickel shook his head. "Choose whichever you want. But if you ground your own husband, that's on you. I will not bail you out of that argument."

This is going perfectly according to plan

"Who's Lieutenant Jeffries? And why did you go directly her them?" Cat asked as you casually went back to her lines of code to start double checking everything. "Oh, she's been trying to fuck Bradley for over a month." "What?" Cat screeched, jumping out of her seat. "What's going on?!"

Oh I'm so excited for Cats reaction hehe

You waved your hand dismissively. "She's a young pilot training under him, and apparently she likes getting sexy, older officers to sleep with her. Nothing's going on, much to her displeasure." "Well of course nothing's going on!" Cat spat. "Hasn't she seen the way your husband looks at you like you're a dessert buffet?"

Haha I love Cat and she is so factual about it

"It doesn't matter," she added, inching her computer further away from you. "My code is flawless. And this bitch can sit on the ground indefinitely, I don't even care. Don't mess with my friends."

I knew she would react like this 👏🏻

This would add hours and hours of work to Cat's schedule. You knew it. She knew it, too, but she was rolling her shoulders with a satisfied smirk on her face. "I love investigations. I haven't done one since the summer. And as far as I'm concerned, it's better to be safe than sorry." Her smirk melted into a solemn expression. "I take my job very seriously. You know for a fact I'll do everything by the book."

"What about all the extra hours?" you whispered. "I don't give a shit. You can help Jake can take care of Jer while I work late. I'll go over Jeffries' aircraft with a fine tooth comb." When you looked at her, you burst into tears. "Thank you." "You don't have thank me. It's my pleasure to keep the Pacific Fleet safe from all kinds of threats."

I want to thank Lieutenant Commander Coleman specifically for her service 🫡👏🏻

Aim for the Sky Part 36 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley needed a day off with his wife, but you needed it more. Taking care of his family would come first from now on, and he had no problem proving that to you. As your plan begins to take shape, one of your allies doubles down.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, pregnancy, oral smut, lactation kink

Length: 4400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Cat gave you an earful over the phone, and you let her. As soon as you told her you wanted to move up the unveiling of the project she'd been leading for months, she panicked.

"I have it scheduled for December," she snapped. "Six weeks from now. It's not perfect yet, and you know how much I like perfection."

When you said, "It doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to work," you heard a muffled scream.

"I'm going to break out in hives. I need to lie down," she hissed. "You're talking about something that affects the entire F/A-18 fleet."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm not talking about the whole Super Hornet fleet yet. I'm talking about testing on a handful of aircrafts. Or maybe just one to start..."

When you went silent, Indigo's eyes danced through your mind along with her pompous voice and irritating strut. 

"Do you have any idea how long I'll have to stay at work? I'll be here overnight finishing this. Overnight. Do you hear me?" Cat asked.

"I'll owe you big time," you replied. "I'll babysit Jer a hundred times. A thousand times."

"I absolutely refuse to mention this to Bickel," Cat whispered, reminding you she was at work while you were in your living room. "You can talk to him about it yourself, but I will not. Because I value my relationship with my commanding officer."

"I'll take care of Bickel. He loves it when we're ahead of schedule," you replied, biting your lip as you realized you would very much need his permission to push your plan forward. And you weren't sure you could get it.

"Why do you want this so much? And are you coming back to work today? What's going on?"

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Listen, I'll be there tomorrow, okay? And I'll fill you in then. Just...give me until tomorrow. Please, keep working on your code."

Cat groaned so loudly, you had to pull your phone away from your ear. "Fine." Then the call ended, and you ran for your bedroom with your hand holding your belly.

Bradley was already sound asleep, the dark circle under his eye prominent even as his face was half buried in his pillow. His thick arm was flung across the spot where your body belonged, and you could see his fingers twitching along the bedding like he was searching for you. 

Your heart clenched, and you slipped quietly under the covers next to him. "There you are," he grunted, opening one eye as he pulled you closer. "Did you talk to Cat?"

"Yes," you whispered, letting him pull you close so his chest was pressed snug against your back. His warm hand settled on your belly, and his even breathing filled your ear.

"Baby Girl, I can't stay awake," he murmured, kissing the back of your neck. "I need a little nap, then I'll get up with Rose when she cries," he promised.

"I can get up. I'm not that sleepy," you told him, melting in his arms as his fingers circled your belly button. 

"I love you," he rasped, kissing your ear before his soft snores filled the space. 

Your eyes blinked slowly before closing, and you realized you were exhausted, too. The adrenaline that had filled you when you were in Bradley's office was drained now. Your belly was full from lunch, and Bradley was so warm. Even the baby had settled into a gentle squirming pattern like she knew you needed a break.

Sleep took over. You never heard a sound until you jolted awake alone in the dark bedroom with your breasts aching. You needed to feed Rose for some relief, because it had been hours since she'd eaten, so you slipped out of bed. 

Bradley had her tucked in his arm, reading a story about a goose on the couch while Rose poked his mustache. Every other word was punctuated with his laughter, and Rose erupted into giggles.

"How am I supposed to finish the story when you keep distracting me? Now we'll never know if the silly goose finds his friends, and that's your fault, Nugget."

Rose giggled more, and Bradley tossed the book aside to give her kisses while you watched from the end of the hallway. He was the most perfect father, and you should have never doubted him. You wanted to apologize a million more times, but when his eyes met yours, you simply said, "I love you, Roo."

He was on his feet, Rose held against his chest, and then he was smothering you in kisses, too. You couldn't stop laughing as his rough mustache scratched your cheeks while he held you in place with one big hand on your butt.

When he finally stopped, he took you by the hand and said, "Wait until you see this. You're not going to believe it."

"What?" you asked, but he was already setting Rose down on her play mat. As soon as she was on her belly, she popped up to her knees, crawled two feet, and collapsed back onto her belly. "She's crawling!"

"She's crawling!" Bradley shouted. "I took a video of the first time, so you didn't miss it. This was only the second time, I swear. Unless she's been crawling around in her crib."

"She probably has been," you cooed, easing yourself down onto the floor next to her. She promptly started crying hysterically. "She associates you with fun. I think she only associates me with food," you said, pulling your shirt over your head.

"That's not true," Bradley insisted, staring openly at your breasts which were starting to leak. "You're so much more than a perfect rack."

With an eye roll you said, "I guess I should start thinking about what to make for our dinner while she eats." 

Rose latched on while Bradley kissed the top of your head. "I already took care of it."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I reprised one of your mom's crockpot meals. Chicken soup."

You blinked up at him as he stood. "How? We don't have any groceries. I haven't felt like going shopping."

"Rosie and I took care of it. You needed to sleep, so we went to Costco. Did you know they give you twice the number of free samples if you take the cutest baby in the world?"

"Did you wear her in her carrier on your chest?" you asked as he went into the kitchen.

"Yep."

"That'll do it. Makes you look irresistible." Bradley blushed as he took the lid off the soup, and then the smell of dinner hit your nose. "Oh my god, I'm starving."

He started shifting things around on the counter. "I'll bring you a bowl, and it should be cool enough to eat by the time Rose is done."

You watched him work as your daughter got groggy in your arms. Bradley carried two bowls into the living room along with crackers and lemonade. He had dinner set up for both of you by the time Rose's eyes started to close, and that's when you realized just how late it was.

"I think she's ready for bed," you whispered, handing her to Bradley so you could stand.

"Go eat. I'll burp her and change her diaper," he promised, nodding toward the food. 

As soon as his big hand circled her back, you heard her burp. It always took you twice as long. This was also the first night in weeks Bradley was home at this early, and you felt tears prickle your eyes as he walked around singing to Rose about the silly goose and his friends before vanishing into the nursery. It didn't take him long to return empty handed, and when he did, you were crying on the couch.

-----------------------------

Bradley missed this so much. He'd only been home for a handful of nights to get Rose ready for bed recently. Right now he was enjoying her fuzzy hair against his lips as he gently set her down on her changing table. He grabbed a fresh diaper and clean pajamas covered in airplanes while she yawned. 

"Are you too tired to finish the story?" he whispered. "You're going to leave me on a silly goose cliffhanger?"

He swore she nodded. She probably did, she was so fucking smart. She could roll over and crawl, and soon she'd be talking and walking around. 

"Okay," he murmured. "We can finish the book tomorrow."

He flicked on the lullaby machine even though she was already falling asleep in her crib and went in search of his wife and his dinner. But he found you sitting on the couch with tears on your cheeks.

He dropped to his knees in front of you. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you whispered, shaking your head. "I'm just happy you're home tonight."

Bradley's face fell as you wiped at your tears, guilt filling his body. "I'm so sorry I fucked up so much," he replied, reaching for your hands. "I just wanted to be on top of everything at work, but I should have been here with you."

"It's okay," you sobbed.

"No. It's not. None of this is fair to you, and I'm not even talking about Indigo right now. You need me helping more at home, and I haven't been. I took this new position so I could be here more and be deployed less, but I fucked it up. I'm thinking about asking Mav to pull me."

"No," you gasped, wiggling off the couch and onto his lap. "You can't, Bradley. You're such a good teacher."

He buried his face in your neck and inhaled as he wrapped his arms around you. "I'm a joke. Nobody's taking me seriously. I have a student who convinced herself she could take advantage of me."

You jerked his chin up so he was looking at you. "That's not even true. She admitted she pulled the same shit in the past, and of course she wanted you, too. You're so sexy. But that's her fucking problem at the end of the day, not yours. And I won't let her make it ours."

Bradley closed his eyes as you kissed his nose and his cheeks. "I just want you to be happy," he whispered. "I'll do whatever I can to make my family happy."

When you said, "You already reported her, right?" he nodded. "That makes me happy. And if you come home on time more often, that will make me happy, too."

"What about a vacation?" he asked softly, letting his hand rest on your belly. "Just the four of us? We could go away for our anniversary. Today was so nice, I think we need some more time off together."

You hummed and nodded. "Let me make sure I don't piss Bickel off tomorrow before I agree to that. I don't want to request time off with my tail between my legs."

Bradley raised one eyebrow. "I'm scared to know what you need to talk about that could make him upset."

"The less you know, the better."

Your words didn't calm his nerves, but your kisses did. So did the soup which was the perfect temperature to eat. You even watched an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey with him before he started cleaning up.

"I can do that," you told him. "I slept all afternoon."

He turned you toward the bedroom and swatted at your butt. "You and Nugget number two were tired. Go relax in bed and start looking at the Halloween costumes I saved in my Amazon cart for Rose." 

Bradley handed you his phone and sent you on your way. He let Tramp outside and loaded the dishwasher before wiping down the counter and packing up the rest of the dinner. When he finally walked into the bedroom, you were topless and giggling.

"We have to get her this costume!" you insisted, holding up his phone, showing him the one that was actually his top choice as well.

"That was my favorite," he grunted, watching your tits bounce as you sat up.

"It's too perfect. I'll order it right now."

Bradley was distracted as he walked around the room, trying to get ready for bed. He brushed his teeth and got undressed, eyes barely able to look anywhere but at your body. This morning, he woke up in the Bronco on the driveway, because you thought there was a chance he was messing around behind your back. He was just happy to put that behind him. He wasn't about to press his luck as he climbed in bed.

"Here you go," you whispered, handing his phone back. He took it and plugged it in to charge overnight, but your breasts brushed his arm. They were heavy and perfect, your nipples big and pert from all the hormones and breast milk. And now he was fully erect as he tried to lay on his back, reaching to turn the lamp off.

"Are you ready for bed? Or do you feel like staying up a little longer?"

Bradley's gaze snapped to your face as his fingers hovered next to the lamp. "I could stay up a little longer," he rasped, keeping his eyes away from your tits which were pressed together as you leaned closer to him. "If you want."

Bradley had barely touched you in weeks which was evidenced by his throbbing cock. You'd seemed tired and distant, all thanks to Indigo, but he didn't put the pieces together at the time. He thought you were worn out from your pregnancy. Right now, he was horny as hell but afraid for you to know where his mind was as he tried to discreetly adjust himself.

He left the lamp on as you curled up snug against his side. "I saw that you started another notebook for the baby," you said, your fingers skimming along your belly, showing off your perfect body.

Bradley grunted. "Each Nugget gets to read my personalized thoughts on parenthood when they're older."

Your lips found his shoulder, and he shivered. "You're a good dad. I'm sorry I doubted you." Bradley closed his eyes as your fingers traced his chest hair down to his abs. It felt like heaven. He wasn't going to make it.

"Why are you topless?" he gasped, tone accusatory. "You've been sleeping in a sports bra with those pad things in them."

"My nursing pads?" you asked, clearly confused. "So I don't leak at night?"

"Yeah. Those things. Why are your tits all over the place right now?"

You looked taken aback as you pulled your hand away from his body and sat up. Bradley groaned, eyes raking all over you as his cock tented the bedding. "I was going to put a bra on before I fall asleep. It just felt nice to take a break for a few minutes. Is it bothering you? I'll put it on now."

You were pouting, and he was sweating as you started to climb out of bed. "Jesus Christ, Sweetheart. Come back," he begged, wrapping his fingers around your wrist. "You look so fucking hot, I can't focus on anything."

"Oh." Your pout turned into softly parted lips that he needed to kiss. So he did. He sat up, letting the bedding fall to his hips as he smashed his lips to yours. Fuck, you felt too good. And then you blindly nudged his cock with your hand. "Oh!"

You pulled away, wide eyed and staring down. "Yeah," he grunted. "But in my defense, you had your tits all over the place. You still do." Then you wrapped your hand around his erection, and Bradley collapsed against his pillow. "We don't have to mess around tonight," he gasped. "It wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to spend time together."

Your laughter filled his ears, and colors erupted behind his eyelids as you worked your hand down to his balls. "You really never stopped wanting me?"

"I've wanted you nonstop since the moment I first saw you," he whined, and then your lips wrapped around his cock. Bradley's eyes flew open, watching you give him head, but after a minute of pleasure, he was reaching for you. "I won't last another minute."

You pulled him free with a pop. "So?"

Bradley panted. "So, I want to make you feel good, too."

You smirked and licked him from balls to tip. "It makes me feel good knowing you can't stop looking at my body." He forced his gaze from your nipples to your face. "And it will make me feel good to swallow your cum before letting you suck on my tits."

He was going to pass out, he was sure of it. "Okay," he rasped, in no position to argue with you while you were gagging on his cock. 

He had been correct. After another minute, he was grabbing at the bedding, hanging on for dear life. Your tits were bouncing against his inner thighs, and your belly looked gorgeous. Your face was perfect as you looked up at him with your mouth full. This wasn't what he expected, but he wasn't mad about it. He came, barking out your name as you swallowed every drop, licking him clean.

When you eased yourself onto your back, coaxing him closer to your taut nipples, he moaned. He was in heaven with your fingers in his hair, and when he tasted you, he knew he'd never get enough.

He kept you up for another hour, making sure you felt as good as he did.

----------------------------

You couldn't stop smiling the next morning as Bradley kissed your cheek while you tried to put your contacts in. "Can I have a little space, Roo?" you asked sweetly.

"No," he whispered, crowding in closer. "I can't stop touching you."

He'd done plenty of that last night. You came so hard on his mouth and fingers, you thought you were going to wake Rose up. Turns out Bradley had been missing you while you were trying to block him out to protect yourself. But Indigo was toast. You'd see to that. She had Bradley convinced he was terrible at his job, and that just wouldn't do. Neither would the fact that nobody got to have your husband except you.

"If you let me get ready for work, I'll blow you again tonight."

He took an immediate step away, hands up in surrender. "By all means, have as much space as you need, Sweetheart. I'll get Rose up and let her crawl around with Tramp."

After you brushed your teeth, you went to the closet. The maternity tent taunted you from the back corner, but you decided to squeeze into your regular uniform. "You'll have your day soon enough," you whispered. But your mind was already focused on work.

If Cat stayed late enough to finish the code, then just maybe you could pull this off. Indigo could get her punishment through the Navy, but you wanted to give her a little something special yourself. After all, she knew who you were, but she didn't know you overheard her in Bradley's office.

You were smiling as you strutted through the living room and out the front door. Rose was buckled in and ready to go, and Bradley was waiting in the driver's seat of the red Bronco with his aviators on.

"You look hot," he murmured, reaching to buckle your seatbelt for you after you climbed in. His lips brushed yours making you very aware you'd be late for work if the three of you didn't leave now.

"I told you I'd blow you tonight, not now."

Bradley laughed and started the engine. "That's not what I'm after, and you know it."

After he backed out of the driveway, he reached for your hand. "What are you after?"

"I want to have lunch with you in the cafeteria today."

Your smile grew as Bradley's rough fingers tangled with yours. "That sounds nice. Not sure what time I'll be able to get away though."

"Text me. Whenever you're free, I'll make it work."

"Okay," you whispered, turning to check on Rose. "And we'll leave on time to go home?"

"We'll leave on time to go home," Bradley confirmed.

You almost made another comment about the blowjob, but you knew it wasn't about that. He promised to do better, and you were going to as well. Starting with showing Indigo who's boss on your husband's behalf.

An hour later, your knuckles connected with Bickel's office door. "Come in!"

This was not the time for nerves. You needed to sound confident as hell. "Captain Bickel, Sir, can we talk about one of our projects for a minute?"

"Sure, Lieutenant Commander," he replied, shuffling some things on his desk. "Uh, have a seat."

He was kind and patient, and as soon as you got into it, you weren't nervous at all. "How do you feel about testing our code on some grounded Super Hornets ahead of schedule?" Kicking the project off early could actually be beneficial, and you knew it. It was a pretty easy sell. "It could give us a little more time to work out any kinks before the end of the year."

Bickel leaned back in his seat. "I'm not sure Lieutenant Commander Coleman is finished with the preliminaries."

"Oh, she is," you told him with a smile. "She's way ahead of schedule, because she's brilliant."

He laughed and nodded. "We really do have a great team. Hmmm." His brow furrowed, and he looked through his calendar. "I think this could actually work out well. Starting updates ahead of schedule means we could have the fleet back in the air ahead of schedule. Go ahead and move forward with an aircraft or two."

Your heart was racing. It was the moment of truth. This might not work out at all. "Do I need to choose randomly?"

Bickel shook his head. "Choose whichever you want. But if you ground your own husband, that's on you. I will not bail you out of that argument."

Satisfaction filled your insides as Bickel laughed at his own joke, and a giddy grin spread across your face. "I know just where to start, Sir," you promised, saluting him before running back to the lab with both hands on your belly.

Cat glared at you when you sat on the stool next to her. "I am so tired. Literally and figuratively," she mumbled. "Don't come in here and try to talk to me with your peppy BS. I don't want to hear it."

You laughed merrily and slid her computer away from her.

"Hey!" she complained, reaching for it, but you shook your head.

"We can start testing whenever we want," you said, opening the credentials list of each aviator currently at Top Gun associated with an F/A-18. "And we can choose which aircraft to run the program on first."

You scrolled past BRADSHAW, BRADLEY and FITCH, REUBEN and GARCIA, MICKEY as you made your way through the alphabet. When you got to JEFFRIES, BROOKE, you stopped and smiled. "Bingo."

"Who's Lieutenant Jeffries? And why did you go directly her them?" Cat asked as you casually went back to her lines of code to start double checking everything.

"Oh, she's been trying to fuck Bradley for over a month."

"What?" Cat screeched, jumping out of her seat. "What's going on?!"

You waved your hand dismissively. "She's a young pilot training under him, and apparently she likes getting sexy, older officers to sleep with her. Nothing's going on, much to her displeasure."

"Well of course nothing's going on!" Cat spat. "Hasn't she seen the way your husband looks at you like you're a dessert buffet?" You snorted, but she ripped her computer from your hands. "Give me this," she muttered, pounding away on the keys. A few seconds later, you realized what she was doing, but it was too late.

"Cat, don't!" you gasped. "You put 'check for potential incompetence and/or pilot error' in the notes!"

"So what?" she snarled. "I always do that when I ground an aircraft. It adds a layer of safety."

"I didn't even finish checking your new code to verify we can run the program!"

"It doesn't matter," she added, inching her computer further away from you. "My code is flawless. And this bitch can sit on the ground indefinitely, I don't even care. Don't mess with my friends."

You watched as Cat's index finger slammed into the return key.

"Oh my god," you groaned. "We're logged in under your credentials which means you're the one who will have to do a thorough investigation!"

This would add hours and hours of work to Cat's schedule. You knew it. She knew it, too, but she was rolling her shoulders with a satisfied smirk on her face. "I love investigations. I haven't done one since the summer. And as far as I'm concerned, it's better to be safe than sorry." Her smirk melted into a solemn expression. "I take my job very seriously. You know for a fact I'll do everything by the book."

"What about all the extra hours?" you whispered.

"I don't give a shit. You can help Jake can take care of Jer while I work late. I'll go over Jeffries' aircraft with a fine tooth comb."

When you looked at her, you burst into tears. "Thank you."

"You don't have thank me. It's my pleasure to keep the Pacific Fleet safe from all kinds of threats."

Eventually you texted Bradley when you were done checking Cat's perfect work, letting him know you were ready for lunch. The cafeteria was packed, but you found him standing alone at the end of the line.

"There you are," he murmured, collecting you in his arms and kissing you in front of everyone. "I'm so hungry, I thought I was going to have to start without you." He ushered you into line with a tray and began to pile it with food. "I got an email a few minutes ago letting me know that Indigo will be grounded until further notice starting tomorrow. You know anything about that?"

"I already told you, the less you know, the better. Don't forget to grab the hot sauce."

-----------------------------------

I'm afraid Indigo doesn't stand a chance if Cat teams up with BG... I just don't want her anywhere near Bradley. Gonna start wrapping up this series in a few more chapters!

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[barbwritesstuff]

Thicker Than - Full Moon Update

Demo Link

Happy full moon everyone! I’m still just doing my thing, slowly but surely nudging this game towards the finish line. I know it’s taking forever, but I know I’ll get there in the end. I’m a completionist. It’s a blessing and a curse.

In terms of new stuff, I’ve added some new stuff to chapter 12, finished chapter 13, and added but not finished chapters 14 and 15. The players who get the most new content right now are players who want to talk to or kill the king and/or those who’ve romanced Nathan. However, there is some new connective tissue text that all players will see.

The demo has a few holes in it right now. I’ve been skipping over the romantic scenes so I can get a bigger, clearer picture of how the endgame is going to look and how it’s going to play out. Once that’s locked in, I think it’ll be easier to interweave the auxiliary stuff (which includes most of the kissing). In the meantime, I’m so excited to write these last three endings. I’m so close I can taste 'em.

Oh! And, before I forget, I haven’t had time to made new chapter titles (I made them way back when I started writing this game and only made up to chapter 13) so those headers aren’t going to look pretty yet, but hopefully that’s okay.

Update Details +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As of the 13th of February 2025

Chapter 13 is finished

I've added Chapters 14 and 15 (both incomplete)

Additional Words: 18,929 (excluding commands)

Total Word Count: 497,962 (excluding commands)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

P.S.

If you want, you can become a member on Kofi to see my weekly progress for $5 AUD (which is like $3.13 USD) a month. Full disclose, I'm not writing very fast right now. I've got several projects I need to balance and also real life stuff (like earning a living) to worry about. However, I'm really trying to update every Friday and I'm very grateful for anyone who does contribute. Just that little bit of extra income at the end of the month has made what would've been some very stressful times last year manageable and I cannot thank you all enough.

Also included: random unscheduled blog posts.

P.S (squared)

I have a book coming out!

Spaceship vs Dracula. It's very silly, it's very strange. It's the thing that got me through 2022.

Also, because it's full moon here's a gif. Remember when I used to open all of these update posts with a random moon gif? Yeah. Me neither.

[goldenroutledge]

serendipity

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

word count: 2.0k

prompt: ❛ i'm telling you all of a sudden, but it isn't new with me. i love you. ❜

summary: fluff. in which daniel doesn’t bother to hide his feelings anymore.

a/n: for the lovely @katsu28! thank you so much for requesting <3

masterlist || be my valentine blurb event 💌

“If you don’t mind me saying, you two make a beautiful couple!” An older woman stops in her tracks to do a double take of you and Daniel dressed to the nines, blending in with the rest of the wedding guests decorated in black tie. Maybe it was the way you brushed a few bread crumbs from his beard or the way he draped his arm around the back of your chair during the meal that made you two appear like any other couple in the room.

“Us?” You question, looking around just to be sure her comment is directed towards you. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time someone made this mistake. “We’re not-”

“Why, thank you!” Daniel interrupts, giddy as ever as he raises his glass. “She is quite the beauty, isn’t she? Makes up for the two of us, I’d say.” Your heart flutters under his gaze, one that’s convincingly lovestruck. He gently squeezes your waist to drive it home, pulling you close.

“Oh, stop it. I don’t think anyone can look bad in Venice, must be something in the water.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, darling.” Daniel muses, turning his attention back to the woman as she smiles fondly. “So humble, this one.”

“You’ll have to excuse him, he’s still suffering from some whiplash and needs his eyes checked.”

“Please, my eyes have never deceived me when it comes to you. You’re stunning.” His tone is sincere, and if you didn’t know he was putting on a charade, you’d believe him. Still, your cheeks are growing undeniably warm, regardless if he actually means it or not. Daniel’s always been a flirt.

“Just trying to keep up with you.”

“Maybe you two will be next.” The woman wonders out loud, a playful glint in her eyes as she winks at Daniel, leaving the two of you to enjoy the reception. He doesn’t miss a beat, feeling no need to acknowledge what just happened.

You, however, can’t brush this one under the rug. “What was that about?”

“What was what about?” Daniel questions, playing clueless.

“Either I hit my head earlier or you just told that lady we’re a couple. You do realize you just lied to an old lady right?”

“I prefer the term method acting.” Daniel quips, all the more amused at your very unamused expression. “Come on, two great looking people together at a wedding? My jacket matches your dress? We’re not exactly avoiding the assumptions.”

“And that was purely coincidence, might I remind you.”

Daniel rolls his eyes playfully at your recollection of the morning. The look on your face when you first realized the matching colors was priceless. It won’t be the last stunt he pulls off, for now he’ll let you believe it really was a coincidence. “Oh please, you love it.”

You shrug, indifferent to what he’s insinuating. At least that’s what you hope he receives from it. Internally you wince every time you have to shut down his relentless positivity with another cold shoulder. “Your performance was convincing, I’ll give you that.”

“Just don’t wanna let anyone down. She’s not the first person to say something y’know, we might as well just accept our fate now.”

You avoid his eyes, finding the drink in your glass to be the safer of the two options. Whenever you do lock eyes with him, you can’t be held responsible for what you might say. Confronting the spark between you two has weighed on your mind, and heart, for more sleepless nights than you care to admit. Here and now, at your friend’s wedding, certainly isn’t the time to start.

–

The night stretches on and the mood is much lighter. Tears of joy for the happy couple have already been shed and the celebration was ongoing well into the night. Dinner was everything you expected it to be, each course more perfect than the last.

Daniel had been asked to give a toast in the upcoming weeks of the grand event. Not that he was the smoothest speaker to ever hold a microphone, but his humor was undeniably perfect for every crowd and setting.

He was rarely at a loss for words. For this speech in particular, when he tried to picture the moment and sit with his thoughts, he realized he had none. It may have been the first time he was truly out of his league. Ask him to write a speech about racing and the intensity that comes with it? No problem. Writing about love, in its truest and most passionate form? That poses a greater challenge.

Scribbled on the notecards tucked away in his suit jacket are a few quotes from philosophers or books he’s read, hoping one will inspire some profound words.

When the microphone finds him, Daniel takes one good look at you smiling back at him, and drops the cards on the table. A rush of confidence flows through his veins, telling him that he may not be so hopeless after all. He takes a deep breath and greets the room.

“I’ll be honest, when the bride and groom asked me to give a speech on their big day, my immediate response was ‘Are you sure’?” Light laughter falls over the crowd, putting him at ease.

“I’m no expert, but when I think about why we fall in love, the answer is simple. We fall in love when the idea of spending the rest of our days alone with someone feels more like paradise instead of a punishment; when we wake up and fall asleep to the thought of them, and happily let them run through our mind every hour in between.”

Everyone in the crowd lovingly gazes at their person. Daniel notices that your eyes have remained fixed on him this whole time. He feels himself blushing, and smiling at you before continuing.

“The way I see it, falling in love is this feeling of unwavering commitment, of being unwilling to give up on someone no matter how much they beg you to. It’s knowing that even if your love is never reciprocated, you’d still feel like the luckiest person on planet Earth, knowing they hold a place in your heart no one else ever could. Loving somebody, to me, means accepting that you couldn’t un-love them even if you tried.”

Daniel catches your eyes and they sparkle, whispering everything you wish to say back to him. A pause lingers over the crowd. You wonder if anyone else can hear your heart beating out of your chest. Under Daniel’s gaze, it feels as though you’re the only two left in the room.

He turns towards the bride and groom once again to end his remarks. “It’s for all those reasons that we’re here celebrating today. My deepest congratulations to the happy couple, may your love story never end.” Daniel raises his glass of champagne and everyone else follows suit, cheering loudly.

The bride and groom beam with joy, tears in their eyes as they resonated with every word he spoke. Everyone in the room had someone they thought about, someone they picture standing across from at the altar, hands held while they swear to keep their promises. The more Daniel went on, the more you realized that for you, it’s him. By the way he was looking at you, you have a pretty good idea that he was thinking of you, too.

Daniel shares an embrace with the bride and groom as they thank him for his heartfelt words. If they only knew the speech didn’t come from those notecards left discarded on the table. Daniel’s speech came straight from the heart, purely inspired by the burgeoning love he feels for you. Other guests sing his praises as he walks past their tables as he makes his way back to you. Romantic notes of the piano pick up from where they left off, and the floor opens up for guests to dance their night away. It gives him the perfect segway, unsure of how you’ll. If you react at all, that is.

“Congratulations, Plato. That was a pretty great speech.”

“I felt inspired,” He charms, extending his hand for you to take. “May I have this dance?”

Your lips curl into a smile, letting him lead you to the dance floor. “Do you even have to ask?”

Daniel shakes his head. “You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“Deflecting by speaking in sarcasm and responding with rhetorical questions.” Something that admittedly drives him crazy, for better and for worse. “Why do you do that?”

“Why do you wanna know?” He gives you a pointed look, silently telling him that you’ve just proved his point. “Oh. I don’t know, maybe it’s easier for me that way. To imply how I feel because I can’t say it.”

The music is soft and the way Daniel holds your body to his… it's intimate. Like you could bare your deepest secrets to Daniel and leave it here in the ballroom once the song’s over. Insecurities only seek to discourage, they’re little reminders that this music isn’t for you. This night of romance doesn’t belong to you and Daniel, two friends that have blurred the lines so many times that they now cease to exist.

The last thing Daniel wants to do is rush you or scare you off. It’s a shame that he doesn’t think more before he speaks. “Do you ever get tired of keeping it in? Not saying what’s really on your mind?”

“Not always. I’d say it’s better to keep people guessing, never let them know my next move. I’m sure you know what that’s like.”

“Am I just ‘people’?” He questions. His tone is soft and smooth, not accusatory in the slightest. It’s what makes Daniel so easy to talk to, even when it hurts. You never have to hide from him, he’s always waiting for you with open arms.

“No, you’re not just ‘people’, but I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Are we talking about me or you? Because I’m pretty sure this entire party knows that I’m madly in love with you. I think you might be the last one to realize.”

You freeze, and instinctively feel like taking a step away. “We’re at a wedding, Daniel. Love is in the air. You’d kinda have to be a psychopath to not let your heart soften when you’re around all of this.”

“Has yours softened? Is that what I saw in your eyes when I gave my speech?”

“I guess I’m just surprised to hear you talk all romantic like that. If there weren’t about a hundred witnesses here I wouldn’t believe it.” You giggle and he smiles at your joke, knowing that you’re absolutely right. This wasn’t exactly an everyday occurrence for him.

“Well, believe it. I’m telling you all of a sudden, but it isn’t new with me. I love you.” Daniel pauses, gauging your reaction. “You don’t have to say it back. I’m still the luckiest man in the world, remember?”

They say actions speak louder than words, and the way you kiss him says more than you can express in this moment. It’s not the first kiss you’ve shared, and Daniel is relieved in knowing that it won’t be the last. He kisses you back, and this time it means something. It’s a chance at having more than you ever thought possible. Less of keeping your love locked away and more accepting what’s been here all along.

“It’s not new with me either. I love you too, Daniel.”

“If I knew that was coming, I would’ve said it sooner.”

“Don’t be smug.”

“I’m not, just happy.” Daniel shows off that signature smile, one that won’t be erased anytime soon. The maid of honor interrupts your moment, asking for all of the men to clear the floor. “Now go, it looks like you have a bouquet to catch.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise at his boldness. Then again, the Daniel you love has never been one to back down from being unabashedly himself. “You mean you want me to catch it? You know that means we’re next right, are you sure you can handle that?”

Daniel lets his fingers trail down your arm as he backs away, bowing slightly and planting an affectionate kiss on your hand. He’ll be gone before you can scold him any further for what he’s about to say.

“With any luck, we will be.”

💌: i miss danny so much 🥲 feel free to request more from my blurb event here! comments and reblogs are always appreciated :)

taglist: @marjorieswrld

[celerydays]

long time no see…

Hey, hi, hello~

I don't know if anyone is still around this little blog o' mine or if I'm just showing up suddenly on the dash and whoever is seeing this might not recall ever even following me lol.

But – whether you remember me or not – I'm just dropping by to say that...I've missed you and that I truly hope you're doing well 🫂💗

I...have not been doing so well. But I've been working on it.

In a way, it's been healing to reshape my approach to things like journaling and capturing photos. I've been taking the time to develop a practice in documenting daily life – the people I care about, the places we visit, and all the random little moments in between – with more intentionality and care than I have in recent years.

(tw: grief and loss/death under cut)

I lost my mom very suddenly last November – and things have been unbearably hard the last few months.

In a lot of ways, 2024 was one of the best years: my partner and I traveled to Japan for the first time ever, my family had a small reunion in our hometown to watch the total solar eclipse together, my best friends got married, and we went on so many amazing trips and had the type of experiences that made me so inspired, optimistic, and excited about life and the future.

But in so many other ways, it was also one of the worst years I've had in a long time: starting with a hard-learned (but perhaps overdue) firsthand lesson and reminder on how scary and fanatic strangers on the internet are capable of being and also how mean and catty peers can be, spending the majority of the summer being sick with chronic illness flareups, and – of course the hardest of all – losing both my grandfather in the spring and then my mother just before the winter holidays.

I'm not particularly good when it comes to emotions– forget about even processing grief or putting into any sort of meaningful words how it all feels. But I guess all of this has made me shift my mindset when it comes to wanting to just...remember. To not forget.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

On documenting life through journaling...

I had always journaled in some way or another all my life, but I only really started considering it a serious practice and hobby sometime around 2020. But I had lost my way with it in recent years, treating it solely as some kind of aesthetic-only venture, and only dedicating the time if I knew that I could make it "pretty" and "palatable for sharing".

And so, many entries were missed; days and weeks lost to fuzzy recollection, months bled into each other, and little moments only existed as vague and passing snapshots on my phone gallery (if I even remembered to take a photo).

But I now wish I had just written it down; whatever it was – big, small, angry, funny, sad, happy – just wrote it all down. It didn't have to be an aesthetically collaged spread or artful doodle or drawing. I wish I had documented some of the last times I had seen or spoken with my mother; what she had said, did, or how she reacted to silly news or quips I told her. I barely remember anything even just from the last year.

So now I write it all down, day after day: I'll write what's on my mind, what we did before, what I'm doing currently, what I'm planning to do. If someone calls or my partner walks in to my studio while I'm working and tells me something that has me reacting in the moment I'll jot down a little "omg!!" or "lol" or "holy shit" next to whatever they said or did.

If I get little scraps from the day – receipts, tags, tickets, wrappers – I'll paste it in wherever it happens to fit in my journal, with a little note of the date or what the outing was. And every so often, I'll print out photos to paste in with notes relating back to past entries or junk journal spreads.

Is always pretty? No, but it's pretty in its chaos. Is it always even chronological? Not at all, but I've embraced the organic nature of pages and dates that sort of jump around, just as long it gets recorded. Does it always make sense? Not really, but it makes sense to me and that's really all that matters. And I love every page so, so much more than anything I had carefully curated before in my previous journals.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

On documenting life through photos...

I had once carried a camera with me everywhere before phone cameras became decent enough that I didn't feel the need to have a dedicated tool for just taking pictures anymore.

It wasn't until we were all looking through our collective family photos to use for my mother's memorial service and headstone that it hit me that I just don't take as many pictures as I used to– and even when I did, they just don't compare to the ones that I took years ago when I did carry a camera with me on every outing and trip.

We ended up choosing a photo of her that I had taken on my once-beloved dSLR camera I used to haul around with me almost 10 years ago; she was smiling, strong, radiant, beautiful– and it was just a random moment I took my camera out in a Taiwan hair salon while she was waiting for me and my sister to get our hair done for our cousin's wedding.

A bit indescribable – and not even something I realized was missing – but there's something about having an actual camera on hand that pushes me to take more photos, and somehow better and more mindful photos at that.

And so I made the decision to invest in a new camera. An absolute necessity to take photos? No, of course not; I do still have my phone camera after all. But they say (apparently) that "the best camera is the one that you actually use"– and I was most definitely not using my phone as much as I could have been.

This new camera though? Only time will truly tell, but the past has shown that I've worked better with a dedicated camera on hand and already I can't begin to explain the difference it's made in the last week alone since I picked up the habit of carrying a camera around with me again.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

This was a crazy long post that sort of got away from me. Not sure where I want to go from here – I guess I just want to say that if you ever felt called to document your life in some way, it's never too late to start; you'll only wish that you had begun sooner.

If you're still here– I love you. I hope you're taking care of yourself.

And thank you for reading along with my incredibly longwinded life update of what was essentially just "I'm grieving so I started journaling more and also bought a camera" lol.

💗

[johnwickb1tsch]

lessons in anatomy V

a yandere art professor Wick x drawing model muse! reader AU... (also featuring Matt from River's Edge) masterlist/chapter map

V. 

“You missed all the fun,” Matt tells you with a shy smile the next time you see him. “Our van wouldn't start. We spent half the night getting it running again.”

You lift an eyebrow. “Sorry to hear that. What was wrong?”

“Dead battery. And a flat tire.”

“Tough break.”

“Yeah. Kinda weird though, right?”

“A little.”

Professor Wick listens with half an ear from across the room, fighting to suppress a smirk.

-One afternoon you are poking around your neighborhood thrift store when you see a familiar crop of raven hair through the shelves. With mischief in your heart you take down a mangy-looking jackalope taxidermy from a shelf, using it like a puppet to peek around the corner. In a funny voice you say, “Pssst? Hey mister…wanna buy some milk duds?”

You peek around a moment later to find him smiling slightly, one eyebrow raised. “Young lady, do you have a license for that cryptid?” 

You can't stop yourself from grinning at him. “I fed it and it followed me here.” 

“They do that.” 

You have no idea how badly this man sympathizes with a stuffed rabbit defiled with deer antlers at that moment. 

You stand looking at each other for a very long, pregnant moment, which at least in your part is filled with a burgeoning longing you just don't quite know what to do with. You notice he's in the book section. 

“Looking for something particular?”

“Just…looking for books to rescue. It’s kind of a hobby.” He holds up a Victorian cloth bound edition of Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Stories. It’s seen better days.

“You're…going to fix it?”

“With luck.” He flashes a shy smile that sets off fireworks in your heart. “What are you hunting for?” 

“This and that.” You show him your basket filled with bric a brac. Boxes you want to turn into dioramas, fabric with prints you like, tin cutouts and costume jewelry by the pound you intend to glue onto things…for no better reason than it makes you happy. You do have some purpose to this trip though. “I’m…working on my submission to the Monster Masque. Have you ever been?” 

He shakes his head, that fluffy hair swinging into his face in an unfairly adorable way. “I’m kinda new in town.” 

You sort of knew that. You found out that he’d moved here to take the place of the professor who went on sabbatical.

“Well, it's the Halloween party around here. You have to try it at least once.” Part art show, part masquerade, part rave, it takes place in a warehouse by the river, and the art scene puts on their best. No commercial costumes allowed, everything must be handmade. Part of the fun is guessing who's who beneath their masks…and part of the fun is being anything or anyone you want to be. 

“Sounds like too much fun for an old fogey like me.”

You snort. “As if. You're not old.” This seems to hearten him, somehow. 

“Are you submitting one of your miniatures?”

You pause for a moment. You don't remember telling him about them, but they're not exactly a secret. “Yeah. I'm making a tiny haunted airstream trailer with ghosts who are like…glamping.”

“Glamping?”

You put on a serious air. “Am I commenting on the death of the American Dream, or do I just like cute creepy things? Who can say…”

He huffs with laughter, a sparkle in his dark eyes. “Interesting.”

“Do you…have any projects you're working on?”

He shakes his head and offers you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. “I…haven't been too motivated, since my wife passed,” he admits, looking down at the stacks of books on the table before him. 

“I'm so sorry.”

“Thanks.” He sighs, putting on a brave face, and when he meets your eyes…you don't think you imagine the warmth that kindles between you, out of your own desperation. 

You don't know where you get the cheek to say, “Maybe something will inspire you soon.”

He holds your gaze, and it's like withstanding a lightning bolt straight through your heart. Yet somehow, you stand fast, resisting the urge to wilt before a wildfire.

“If I'm lucky,” he answers, and your heart lodges in your throat, tasting of ash.

You browse the rest of the store together, chatting lightly and chuckling over some of the treasures you find. By the time you are ready to leave you have filled your basket with odds and ends. He has three books–and the jackalope.

“What are you going to do with that?” you laugh as he tucks it under his arm when you leave. 

“I think I’m going to make you pose with it next class,” he jokes. 

You cackle with delight, your mirth filling the street. People shoot you odd looks as they walk by, and you try to look contrite, smiling sheepishly. 

“Should I bring a cowboy hat?” you tease, more in the spirit of being silly than suggestive, but you can tell immediately that your offer hits a different way. You’re not sure how it’s possible for this man to appear equally flustered and wolfish, his eyes darkening to true black as his attention sharpens upon you.

“That…might be too much…for all of our sakes,” he answers diplomatically, and once again you feel too hot under your collar, wishing the sidewalk would open up and swallow you. Why do you always have to ruin everything by running your mouth?

“Ok.” You look around, wondering which way would prove your quickest escape. The least painful option would probably be to walk straight into traffic. “I guess…I’ll see you Monday.”

You have to go crawl into a hole. 

You have no idea how badly he does not want you to go, but before he can think of another thing to say to ease your embarrassment or possibly pry his big foot out of his mouth you’re already halfway down the block.

He watches you go with a sigh.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 59

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Scar's pov*

You never really liked hospitals, they are empty and dull and white and you go there only when something bad happens... Never a pleasant experience, you of all people have bad memories of them...

This time It's really silent too, the association pulled all the steps to keep Grian far from other patients, maybe to prevent his identity being discovered by someone wandering around.

Cub stops you in front of the door right before you can enter.

"Before we go in, Altostratus and Ocean Queen don't know Cuteguy's identity"

You forgot about that, you didn't even consider it... you feel awful, you got distracted and- not the time, you'll feel bad later, you can just ask Grian what he wants to do...yeah.

Altostratus crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "And?"

You are the one to speak up this time around. "A-and the choice to reveal his identity is still his" Your words get caught up on eachother a bit but they must understand what you are trying to say.

"So, I'm going with Cub to ask him if he wants to do it." That should be ok right?

Altostratus goes to say something but is shushed by his wife (You are still shocked about that and no, you will not let this go, how did no one notice??). She nods in his place and hits him the head slightly when he tries to protest...

You open the door and step in, there is a corridor in front of you and at the end of it is Grian's room, as you do you hear Ocean Queen call Altostratus a "Nincompoop" from behind the door...you have no idea what that means and at this point you don't think you even want to ask.

Grian is waiting for you, you don't really question how he knew you were coming, as far as you know he just has been waiting like that for hours... You hope he hasn't done that. Maybe he just heard you! That makes more sense! You didn't really care about the noise you made so he must have noticed when you and Cub came in.

"Scar! Cub! Finally!"

He's excited? You of course It's good that he's doing good of, that's the most important thing, butbyou didn't expect this from someone who just woke up from almost dying. You just don't know how to feel, you expected him to be angry or sad or something, more then that it feels like you don't deserve to see him so happy since he got hurt because of you being careless.

"You can't believe how bored I was! Here all alone ... waiting!"

He was...bored? The room is mostly empty except for some medical machine stuff, that does seem like it would be pretty boring. You are wondering if your thought about him waiting for you the whole time might actually be what happened- Wait, you need to say something, you are usually a lot better at talking over thinking.

"Well, eh...no time to be bored with me here. And I brought friends!"

Cub nods and adds "They are heroes...but still, seeing them would have you reveal their identity to them, Scar insisted we ask you first. I agree with him."

...

Grian looks thoughtful, this is probably a really big choice for him so you understand he might need some time to make the choice-

"Sounds good to me!"

Nevermind! That was a bit fast though, you hope he doesn't feel like he has too.

"Are you sure Grian? You can say no, no one is-"

"Nah! I'm sure, bring them in! I wanted to meet the others for a while now anyway."

Oh. Oh? Oh! Well, that's good news then Cub nods again and leaves to get the others... Hopefully they'll get along well.

...

Well this is weird, Altostratus and Grian are just staring at eachother. Like they know eachother already??? I mean, Altostratus is a top hero so it makes sense for Grian to know OF him but this feels different, like they met face to face.

But you would know if something like that happened right? Grian would have definitely told you. Cub beats you to it though, you aren't surprised he noticed it too, he's very smart about these things.

"Do you two know eachother already?"

The two answer at the same time, Grian with a no and Altostratus with a yes....Ok so, something strange is definitely going on here, you akwardly look between the two. For a second Grian looks actually angry???? Frustrated at least. You don't think you ever seen him make an expression like that, it disappears immediately but you can swear it was there.

. . . Huh

*End of Chapter 11*

[kayhi808]

Hai i’m happy to see that you’re back! i also hope life is treating you well and you are staying healthy! I was wondering if like there was a dress as your favorite person day at school and abby has reader help paint her arm to match buckeys and gets one of those fake beards or mustache thingies lol. but bucky doesn’t know so when he picks her up he’s surprised??? then they take a picture and it’s framed in the house somewhere. 🧹

Thank you, anon! I'm feeling much better than before. 💕 You want Abby dressed up as her Papa? You got it !

Abby comes walking into your room, "Mama, can I ask yous sumting?"

"Of course, baby! What's up?" Placing the last of you laundry away & sitting on your bed.

Rubbing her cheeks and chin, "How can I grow hairs on my face? Like Papa?"

"Excuse me?"

"Ya knows, he gets a furry face. I need that, too."

"Can I ask why you need a furry face?"

Abby lets out a big sigh and climbs up onto the bed, "Cos at scoon we have, dwess as your favorite people day, right? I needs to dwess like Papa."

You smile at her, "Why is Papa your favorite person?"

Abby counts the reasons off on her chubby fingers, "Cos he loves me so much. He so smart in his brain. He read me storybooks & teach me Wussian. He brave and fights the bad people to keep everybody safe. He has pwetty arm." She drops her hand on her lap, "So many tings." Then Abby reaches over to squish your face, "And he makes my Mama so happy and smiley."

Your smile grows, "Maybe I can help you by drawing in your scruff. Like your goatee at Halloween."

"Hanoween! Oh please, Mama!" Abby claps her hands. "And I need to cuts my hairs off. So it's short like Papa's."

"Oh! Umm." Not wanting to cut her hair. You enjoy making her pigtails and braids. Her ribbons and barrettes. "Let's think about that one. I can put it in a little bun so it looks short? And maybe give you some bangs so we can make it a lil spikey in the front like Bucky's?"

Abby looks skeptical. "Lemme tinks 'bout it."

"Ok, but if that's what you really want we can cut it." It's her hair, if she wants to cut it, we can do that.

Waving her arms, "Cans you paint my arm like Papa's?"

"Definitely! Or, we can ask Uncle Steve. He's really good."

"Oh yea!" Jumping up and down, "He's make it so pwetty!"

*******

Bucky came back early from his mission so you both make your way to Abby's pre-school to pick her up. "She's going to be so happy to see you!'

Walking up to the classroom door, Bucky looks inside expecting to easily pick out Abby, but all the kids are dressed up. "What's going on?"

He hears a familiar shriek and a black blur attaches itself to his leg, "Papa!!"

Bucky's frown quickly turns into a smile, "Wh...what is all this?" He squats down to take a better look at Abby.

She obliges by giving him a dainty little twirl, "I's you!" Her hair is pulled back into a tight bun. Just enough smudged 5 o'clock shadow. New bangs nicely spiked. And her gloved arm painted to match his.

"But why?"

"It dwess as your favorite peoples day." She gives little hops, "Yous my favorite, Papa! Comes look!" She takes his hand and leads him to the wall posted with all the children's drawings. She searches until she finds hers. "See?? I dids it!" It's a picture of Bucky & 3 things that makes him her favorite person. He can tell Ms. Grace helped her with the words.

1. He's smart & brave.

2. He has a pretty arm.

3. He makes me and my Mama very happy.

Bucky scoops her up in a big hug. "Now that was the best thing that happened to me all day. All week! Thank you, Abigail Rose."

She blushes under her scruff, "You melcome, Papa."

[pretty-bratty]

'It's Peter. Parker.'

He slides the phone back into his pocket without much hope. No one will reply - haven't in all these months - and even if someone would, it would be a very annoyed Happy.

It's September, and the mornings are foggy-pink like apples, the evenings are orange from streetlights and fallen leaves - and Peter's been living with this bittersweet mix of hope and anxiety since Germany.

Since Mr. Stark gave him that little talk in the car. Peter tries not to die from embarrassment every time he remembers that not hug.

"You sure you're okay, kid? No feeling sick, dizziness, any other fun stuff?"

Peter hurried to nod, then shake his head. The movement echoed with the pain.

"Yeah, no, I'm-I'm totally fine!"

I don't want you to go.

But Mr. Stark - Tony - had a long night ahead. Lots to discuss with Captain America and the others. Lots to figure out about Cap's friend, the one with the cool arm. And Peter, well, Peter wasn't needed in any of this. Not anymore.

That fight in Berlin airport ended almost as soon as it started. Everyone stopped throwing superpowered punches and started talking, right after-

No. Peter forbids himself to think about it. This memory is saved for before sleep.

And right now he better focus on whatever Ned is saying.

"...in the news."

"Huh?" Peter whips his head to look at his best friend. "Sorry, what's in the news?"

"Mr. Stark," Ned repeats patiently, slurping apple juice. "Saw them in the morning news, him and Cap."

"Really?"

Peter almost asks what suit was Mr. Stark wearing, but bites his tongue before the words slip out. He's not a fangirl gossiping about a popstar. He's just gonna see it himself on YouTube after school.

"They've been asked if a part of the Avengers tower could be open for school field trips."

"Really?!"

Okay, he's repeating himself, but - seriously, he missed that?!

"Yup." Ned smiles dreamily. "Mr. Stark said it's a great idea-"

"Really?!?"

This time Ned gives him a look, and Peter giggles sheepishly. Yeah, alright.

"Yeah dude. Don't get your hopes high though. Cap banned it."

Ugh.

"Said it's dangerous and blah blah blah."

"And rightfully so." Michelle chimes in, and Peter didn't even know she was here. "Imagine all this herd near the alien weapon and superpowered technology."

"O-o-oh, you're the Avengers fan?!" Ned's eyes immediately sparkle as he turns to her.

"Who said so?"

Peter tunes out, looking at the cafeteria. Flash is trying to pour juice into someone's - surprisingly, not Peter's - milk. Yeah. Michelle and Captain Rogers have a point.

But at the same time, what if he could go?! What if they saw him, and remembered how good he did in Berlin (they said so themselves back then), and then Cap would be like 'You could actually help us out with this one, Peter', and Mr. Stark would be like 'I was actually about to tell you to start reporting straight to me, not Happy', and!

And even all that aside, it's just. It would be so cool to just see Mr. Stark.

"Duuude, you totally have a crush." Ned gives him a toothy smile, and Peter realizes, horrified, that he said the last phrase out loud.

"No I don't," he quickly looks around, feeling how hot - and undoubtedly red - his face is. Apparently, Michelle already went away, and Ned was the only one to hear that. Thanks God. "I don't really do crushes, Ned, you know. It's-it's different."

"How different?"

The bell rings, getting them hurrying to Spanish class and saving Peter from the inquisition.

Well, not fully - Ned keeps whispering questions the whole class.

Do you wanna play Kiss-marry-kill and pick from Mr. Stark, Cap and Black Widow?

Would you like him to personally check your internship work?

Imagine if he picked you up from school in one of his cool cars, would you - scratch that, who wouldn’t have wanted it.

Peter is almost grateful when Mr. Ramirez threatens them with detention.

After school he manages to run away, yelling about being late to the internship. The look on Ned's face tells him he's already planning to bombard him with questions tomorrow.

***

The patrolling goes as always. Boring. Yeah, no, it feels great to swing around the city, getting all his energy out and helping wherever it's needed. But so far the highlight of his day is the churro from this nice old Mexican lady - until he sees a robbery near Mr. Delmar's place.

Everything goes exciting at first - he even manages to make a cool fight-talk, before one of the guys pulls out that weird-looking weapon. Peter's muscles tense - and seconds later the whole place explodes. Literally.

He barely remembers how he runs into the sandwich place, helping Mr. Delmar and carrying Murph out. The next thing he sees is the splash of red, white and blue, accompanied by the big wings shadow in the sky. Captain America and Falcon. Peter looks for the flash of red and gold, with the sounds of Led Zeppelin or whatever - heart rabbiting faster than when the actual explosion happened. But there's nothing. He ducks from the Avengers' sight, running into the alley where he left his backpack and clothes, tugs the mask off, and-

"Peter."

For a millisecond his heart drops in his stomach and freezes there, but then he recognizes the voice difference. He turns around to face Steve Rogers - starry shield and all.

"Uh, yes sir? Hi?"

Hi? How lame.

"You were there, fighting with the robbers."

It's not even a question, so Peter just shrugs. Like no biggie, he's doing it every day. Ugh.

"Would you recognize them?"

"No. They were wearing masks, Avengers masks actually. Maybe it's like, something personal?"

Cap makes a thoughtful noise, nodding absentmindedly.

"Where's your friend?" Peter shuts his mouth, but the words are out already.

"Sam?" Cap furrows his brows in confusion. "He's helping with the-"

"No, I saw him." Peter cuts him off. Yeeaaah, May would've been just delighted with his manners. "The other one, from Germany. With the metal arm."

"Oh. Bucky..." there are so many different emotions in how Captain says this name. It feels overwhelming. "He's getting...back to himself. I hope."

He adds the last phrase so quietly that a normal person wouldn't have made it out. Spidey senses deliver it to Peter loud and clear.

"He's nice." Peter offers him a little smile. "Especially when we stopped trying to kill each other."

Captain actually chuckles at that, shaking his head. Then nods back to the explosion.

"Stay away from trouble like this, kid." His face gets the usual shade of solemn. "Those are dangerous people, we'll take care of them."

"I can help!"

"Like I said, it's too dangerous. I'm glad Tony's keeping an eye on you..."

Apparently something's flickering on Peter's face, because Cap frowns. Uh-oh, time to go, time to go. He stumbles back, nearly tripping over a trashcan, and giving Cap a bigger and hopefully not so fake smile.

"Um, sorry, but I actually gotta go, Aunt May will start worrying if I'm not home!"

Captain Rogers crosses his arms, worry clearly showing on his face now.

"Peter? He is, right?"

But he just pulls his mask down, jumps off and swings away, leaving the national hero without an answer. Holy shit.

***

He should've just said yes. Because obviously, Happy being his curator is considered as Mr. Stark keeping an eye on him. And maybe Happy not replying to his messages doesn't mean he's not caring! And now Captain Rogers would tell Mr. Stark about his encounter with Peter, and Mr. Stark would come and yell at him, and oh my God. Well, at least he would talk to him. Except if he's gonna call Peter an ungrateful brat who he doesn't want to do anything with, and Peter wouldn't be able to bear that.

He stops mid-climbing, tears the mask off and presses his face into the red-bricked wall of his building. It's cold to the touch. The night air is chilly and dark blue and full of police sirens and big city noises.

All Ned's questions suddenly pop up in Peter's mind, but none of them are helpful. Peter doesn't know how to call what he feels for Tony Stark, what he's longing for, and what label to put it under. He almost wishes it was a crush, because it would be normal. He would be normal.

What lives and burns in his chest is something in between adoration of a role model, falling in love and needing a father figure - or maybe all of those combined.

He wants to be near him. He wants to do as he says and be good for him. Or not do what he says - and find out what happens.

He just wants Tony to really care about him. To care about him the most of all. Like during that short time - no, Peter, stop - in Berlin airport... He tries to stop thinking back to that moment but fails. He lets his eyes close and sees everything as if it's happening right now.

***

Thinking back, adrenaline - that's what Peter felt the most. The rest was just a big noisy mess, flooding the whole world and overwhelming his senses. He missed when and how the reasonable - well, sort of - conversation turned into a fight. Maybe it happened while he was too busy filming? But anyways, everyone was fighting now. And it wasn't a cool battle against baddies, wasn't protecting what's right from what's evil. There weren't bad guys. There were confused guys, hurt guys, guys who didn't manage to talk it all out, and now were too angry and adrenaline-infused to do anything but fight and hurt each other. They reminded Peter a bunch of riled up first graders. What could he do though? Mr. Stark got his full and devoted loyalty...he wasn't sure when exactly that happened. Maybe even before the man burst into his little room, spitting date loaf and making innuendos about May. That's - that's whatever. Peter didn't really want to fight other Avengers, and he wanted Mr. Stark to fight them even less, because he saw how hurt it actually makes him.

Yet, here they were. Fighting.

"Sorry, guys, I just really gotta impress Mr. Stark!" Peter yells to Cap's friends.

One just looks annoyed, and the other - the mysterious metal-armed one - bugs his eyes out. Peter knows that he's the reason the whole ruckus started and that Mr. Stark doesn't like him for some reason.

"S' just a kid," the metal-armed dude breathes out, and okay, now Peter doesn't like him too.

He webs him down to the concrete, smirking under the mask.

"How's that from a kid?!"

Metal Arm is grunting something, but Peter doesn't have time to listen. There's something crazy going on.

"Hey guys, have you ever seen this really old movie, The Empire Strikes Back?!"

His spidey senses are overflowing with information. He's overexcited, high on adrenaline, giddy with being accepted by real superheroes, and-

BOOM.

Something huge, like a train on full speed, smashes into him. Peter sees stars flashing under his eyelids - cartoons don't lie, it really happens - and then everything goes black and he starts falling. He tries to use his webshooters, but for some reason it doesn't work out. Everything's going awfully fast. Peter hears someone cursing, flails his arms around, heart in his stomach - and suddenly there's a strong grip across his body. Peter opens his eyes - turns out he was squeezing them shut - and sees the metal arm. There's a red star on it. The next moment the grip changes, and there's a soothing glow of shiny upturned triangle, and red and gold suit, and Peter blacks out.

When he wakes up, Black Widow is giving Mr. Stark an incredulous look.

"Jesus Christ, Tony. If I knew that's what you meant by 'your guy', I would've said no right away."

Peter pouts at her, and it only makes her nod as if in confirmation.

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"It's an actual child, Tony!" That's Cap.

Seems like they didn't kill each other while Peter was unconscious. Which is, would be nice to know for how long.  Everything feels funny. Maybe he has a concussion?

"What?! Don't give me that judging glare, Capsicle. You just dropped half a building on that child-"

"And I was wrong!"

"-even your assassin bestie didn't do that."

That's the first time Mr. Stark addresses Metal Arm not as a mortal enemy, and everyone falls quiet, staring.

"And this is what I've been trying to talk to you about," Cap gets everyone's pointed looks and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, okay. I haven't really. And it was wrong of me. I should have."

Peter opens his mouth - for some reason, it feels awfully dry, and it takes an effort to part his lips.

"S' so stupid, you fighting." He cannot believe he's saying this to the Avengers, his heroes, for crying out loud. He definitely has a concussion. "S' how all the worst wars happen..."

He blacks out again after that, and when he wakes up, everything's over. The brewing war that was about to start never happens. Mr. Stark and Captain are talking, then them both and Metal Arm are talking, everyone is talking and no one has time for Peter.

And actually, he should've understood back then - he's just not needed anymore. Because he was just that - 'my guy' as in a help in a fight, not as in 'mine'.

***

He shakes himself out of the memories, realizing he's still clinging to the wall, without a mask, cheek warming up the old bricks. Without a mask! What if someone sees him! What if May sees him - what's he even thinking about!

Peter lets out a sharp breath and quickly picks up his pace. Up, into the window, climb over the ceiling, quietly close the door - why is it even open - on the floor. He taps the suit, letting it loosen and fall down, leaving him in boxers.

"Agility - 10 out of 10. Attention - we're going to negative numbers here." The painfully familiar voice speaks up from the semi-darkness of his bed, and Peter stumbles and plops on his ass.

"Correction, 9 instead of 10." Mr. Stark watches him intently, popping some snack into his mouth.

[wellen-katze]

Just wanted to tell you that your art style is very unique and intricate. It seem simple on the first look but the more you see the more you realize how natural and well put together the whole thing is, from a technical point of view it's on a professional level, especially when It come to story telling and comics.

The way you write is also without equivalent from what I've seen, same thing here, very simple plot but very intimate, tragic without being edgy. It compliment really well with your art.

I wish you all the best, and I hope you get better recognition, you have all my blessing if you decide to do a big project on day, because you deserve it.

Oh, thank you so much for your kind words! Since I'm always quite insecure about my work, it's always so wonderful to see that the things I'm trying to tell are reaching the people. It means everything to me and makes me so happy!

For 2025, I'm actually starting a new original webcomic, so if you're interested in my work, I'd be honored to have your support—whether here, just sharing your thoughts or even on Patreon, if you'd like to get new updates and more! I'm bad at interacting, but again, thank you so much—and to everyone else who supports me, too! It truly warms my heart!

Read more on patreon!

[forestclan-clangen]

MOON 7 (Part 2)

<< FIRST | < PREVIOUS |

After the Gathering, Morningpaw and Talonpaw look at the stars together. Morningpaw feels comforted by this, but Talonpaw can't help but remember Shiverkit's - now Shiverpaw's - omnious statement from moons ago - "I'm worried about the hungry eye." He finds comfort in gently resting his tail on top of Morningpaw's.

(Talonpaw, apprentice, male, 11 moons) (Morningpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons)

Windfur bosses Cloudthunder around, asking her to carry his stuff and help him reapply herbs for Olive. Cloud snaps back at him after one too many orders, and after seieng that Olive wasn't happy being handled right now. Windfur bristles in anger and leaves the nursery. Olive is thankful that Cloudthunder noticed she was at her limit. She's happy to have a clanmate like her.

(Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 40 moons) (Windfur, medicine cat, male, 21 moons) (Olive, mediator, female, 63 moons)

---

Cloudthunder usually didn't mind spending time with Windfur. She knew he was saddled with the role of cleric early in his life, and became the sole medicine cat of ForestClan at far too young of an age. Out of a sense of compassion, she made sure that someone was looking out for him and helping him out, if he needed it.

But today, he clearly woke up on the wrong side of his bedding. She had asked if he needed any help, and he immediately set her to work without so much as a "good morning". She didn't want to complain, but she started feeling less like his friend, and more like his apprentice.

"Carry these for me. Thanks," he said as he dropped a pouch of herbs wrapped in large oak leaves in front of her. "I need to check on Olive."

Cloudthunder watched him grab sticks and moss before pushing past her and padding towards the nursery. Her tail twitched in annoyance, but she picked up the pouch of herbs and trotted after him. Her ears twitched as she started catching the conversation between Windfur and his patient.

"Can this wait?"

"No."

"I was just waking up. At least let me eat first."

Cloudthunder entered the nursery and saw Windfur hovering over Olive with fresh moss. The cleric was already untying the ropes that were securing her brace.

"Windfur." Olive's eyes narrowed, clearly unhappy.

"Give me a moment. And don't try to thrash your tail - I can see your muscle spasms. I told you that will have to be the last thing that heals," Windfur chided. The tom was disregarding Olive's frustration, which was very unlike him.

The last straw was when Windfur held out his paw to Cloudthunder. "Pass me the comfrey please."

"You know what?" Cloudthunder meowed as she put down the bundle of herbs. "Nope. You're gonna go to the cooking fire or the dry food rack."

Windfur looked at Cloudthunder with bewilderment.

"Why?"

His sincerity almost made Cloudthunder feel bad for him. Almost.

"Because you either didn't get enough sleep last night, or you didn't eat anything since yesterday. You've been bossy all morning and you haven't been paying attention to the way you speak to people." Cloudthunder's tail twitched with annoyance.

Windfur's fur bristled in anger. "I'm doing my job," he hissed.

"Yeah, and you're being as prickly as a porcupine about it," Cloudthunder retorted. "So yeah, you're going to go eat something and bask in the morning sun for twenty minutes. Then you can refresh Olive's poultice and make her a new brace."

Windfur looked like he was going to retort, his tail twitching in anger. Instead, he stormed out of the nursery and out into the camp.

There was a long moment of silence in the nursery.

"...Thank you," Olive meowed.

Cloudthunder's ear twitched in response. She watched Windfur across camp reluctantly picking at jerky from the food rack. "It's no problem. He's been bossy since this morning. It's out of character for him, honestly."

Olive huffed. "I've been dealing with him daily. I'm aware."

"Does he always shove you around in the morning like this?"

"No, he's amenable. Normally I can eat something before he'll refresh my bandages."

"I'll get you something now, then," Cloudthunder decided. She beamed at the brown molly. "Do you have any favorites?"

"I quite liked that roasted vole Barleywave made yesterday, if there's still some preserved," Olive replied. She gave her a look of gratitude.

"Can do." Cloudthunder bowed and padded towards their preserved food pile. She saw Windfur eating in a patch of sunshine, still appearing disgruntled, but taking large bites out of his food. Her whiskers twitched in amusement.

Yeah, he wasn't himself when he was hungry.

---

Shiverpaw is nervous while taking care of Olive, and the older cat notices. Olive offers to teach Shiverpaw a helpful skill - one that helps her feel more secure in her own paws. Olive feels like perhaps she still has a place in this world, and promises herself to stay - to teach cats like Shiverpaw...and her children, too.

(Shiverpaw, medicine cat apprentice, female, 7 moons) (Olive, mediator apprentice, female, 63 moons)

Morningpaw and Clouthunder meet a loner at the border. Morningpaw recognizes them, and is happy to see them! Their name is Tree. After spending some time speaking with them, Cloudthunder likes Tree's calming presence, and their knowledge on Nature's Mockery. She invites them into the clan, and they tentatively accept. It wouldn't hurt to have a home to stay in.

(Morningpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons) (Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 40 moons) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 38 moons)

---

Cloudthunder was eager to stretch her legs that morning. The day was warm for the middle of leaf-fall, and the trees still had their colorful leaves. When Redstar asked if she could check the border alongside Morningpaw, she had no complaints whatsoever. Morningpaw seemed rather nervous, but then again, when wasn't she nervous?

As the two cats made their way towards the riverside border, Cloudthunder would glance behind her every now and again to make sure the apprentice was keeping pace, only to see Morningpaw staring at her feet as she padded behind her.

"How you doin', Morningpaw?" Cloudthunder asked.

"Huh?" Morningpaw lifted her head, her eyes wide. "Oh, I'm good."

"Glad to hear it! You enjoying your first leaf-fall?"

"Oh, yeah," Morningpaw's tail twitched. "I really like the pretty colors on the leaves. It's too bad that the pines don't change color, though."

"The conifers staying the same are what make them reliable, though," Cloudthunder said with a twitch of her whiskers. "Good ol' evergreens! Trees are neat, honestly. You wouldn't believe how many shapes and sizes they come in!"

Morningpaw let out a polite laugh in response.

Their conversation came to a close as they approached one of their borders by a small river. Cloudthunder appreciated it while it was still here - it normally froze or dried up entirely by leafbare. She considered taking a sip from it, until she remembered her mentor's chiding when she was a young apprentice. "Did you want to get violent stomach ills? Because drinking pond water is how you get stomach ills!" Cloudthunder wanted to swat at her mentor at the time, but now she couldn't help but remember the memory fondly.

As the two cats re-marked the border, Cloudthunder noticed that Morningpaw was acting odd. She kept scanning over the bushes on the other side of the stream, as though she was waiting for something to dart out of them. The warrior knew that Morningpaw was always a nervous cat, but this was getting a bit silly.

"Whatcha looking for, Morningpaw?"

Morningpaw bristled and looked away. "Nothing."

Cloudthunder raised and eyebrow. "You look like you're expecting something."

"I'm not."

"Well, okay. But remember that your nose will likely - " Cloudthunder cut her sentence short as the wind carried an unfamiliar scent. Her eyes narrowed and she started tasting the air.

"What? What is it?" Morningpaw asked as she started to mimic Cloudthunder.

The grey and white molly wasn't quite sure, actually. It definitely wasn't something immediately dangerous. Deep Root entities had a very distinct scent that she could pick up from at least twenty fox-lengths away. Wet, slightly acidic, and smelled like blood. This wasn't it.

After a few moments, she picked up that this had to be a cat. She looked at the other side of the river and her eyes narrowed as she could see a faint shadow hiding in the bushes.

Cloudthunder frowned and her muscles tensed. "Alright, outsider. I can both see and smell you. It's fine, you can come on out. We have no quarrel."

Nothing moved at first. Cloudthunder opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by a head of long, pale brown fur springing its head out of the bush like a gopher. The cat's emerald green eyes twinkled with a quiet mirth.

Morningpaw gasped. “Tree!” Her amber eyes were filled with relief as she started forward closer to the stream. "You're okay!"

Cloudthunder was genuinely surprised - Morningpaw knew this loner? Morningpaw, the young cat who jumped at shadows? Cloudthunder decided for the time being to be amicable, chosing to sit down. She tilted her head at the newcomer. “Who is this, Morningpaw?"

The cat calmly strolled out of their hiding spot, shaking themselves free of the stray twigs in their fur. Cloudthunder couldn't help but admire the golden tabby patches that dappled their coat and tail like autumn leaves. This one definitely took care of their coat.

"Hello again, Morningpaw," the cat meowed. They took their green eyes to Cloudthunder, and bowed their head. "And hello, warrior. My name is Tree." They sat down across the stream and wrapped their tail around their paws. "Happy to be acquainted."

Cloudthunder bowed back politely. "Cloudthunder. Likewise. Pardon me for asking, but I can't tell - do you have prefered honorifics?"

"Oh, good to know the lemonweed still works." Tree beamed and their eyes twinkled with joy. "I have been having a spot of trouble finding it this season. They and them pronouns are just fine."

Cloudthunder was impressed. Her ears twitched. Usually loners and rogues had basic knowledge of medicinal herbs, but more complex remedies and chemical changes were only known by Clan cats. This one must've had a good teacher. "Do you mind if I ask how you know Morningpaw?"

"O-Oh, it's nothing bad, honest!" Morningpaw sputtered out first. "I, um, I was out hunting with Iciclepool and Talonpaw. I was separated for a little bit chasing after a squirrel, and I ran into Tree. They let me keep the squirrel!"

"Well, that, and allegedly I should not be anywhere near these woods," Tree said with a smile.

"Well, sure, if you're just passing through," Cloudthunder meowed, her tail twitching. "There's...unsavory things out here."

"Oh, I'm aware. I'm unfortunately acquainted with them," Tree said as they liked their paw absentmindedly.

Cloudthunder's eyes went wide. "You are?"

"B-But you see, Tree says that they come from a place where there aren't any trees, but really huge fields!" Morningpaw interjected again. Suddenly, Cloudthunder noticed a spark of something in the apprentice's eyes. She couldn't decipher what it was. "Far away from here. Right?" Morningpaw turned to look at Tree for approval.

Tree stopped grooming themselves for a brief moment, looking at Morningpaw with an unreadable expression. Tree blinked slowly. "Yes. I have walked many miles and slept in many different places."

"Then..." Morningpaw padded closer, as though she wanted to leap across the river. There was a quiet pleading in her eyes. "Tree, I...I didn't get a chance to ask at the time. But, I thought, um..."

Now both Tree and Cloudthunder were focused on Morningpaw with anticipation.

Morningpaw stammered a few more times, failing to begin her sentence. She forced herself to stop, take a deep breath, then finally said, "I...I thought you might know about...about other territories."

Cloudthunder froze. Dread filled her veins. But she couldn't figure out why.

One part of her was curious, and excited. Yes. She, too, would like to know about territories Tree had seen - especially if they were from so far away.

But it was like a cold, harrowing seed was buried in her and finally sprouted. And she didn't know why.

"I just thought...maybe, if the monsters were maybe...not..."

A wave of understanding passed through Cloudthunder and Tree as they realized what the poor young cat was asking. Cloudthunder found where her dread came from. She stared at the floor as she remembered hearing about the very last patrols sent out by Lakestar to search for new territory. She remembered being just a kit, stumbling out of the nursery at night after waking up cold, and seeing her mother sitting on the camp gates, staring out into the woods. She remembered seeing her father climb up to her and beckon her to return to the den. She remembered hearing her mother cry in her sleep - "Mama, come back, come back," - but Cloudthunder never had the courage to shake her awake.

Tree must've felt Cloudthunder's sorrow, as they started purring quietly. "While I cannot tell you whether or not they're more plentiful here or elsewhere, I can confirm that I've seen them outside of these woods." Tree's ear flicked. "I find that whatever they are...they are attracted to Twoleg activity. And Twolegs span across vast territories, just like cats do."

Morningpaw's expression faltered, and the glint of hope that rested within her eyes were dashed. She looked devastated.

Cloudthunder instinctively placed her tail on Morningpaw's shoulder. While Cloudthunder couldn't muster the idea of leaving the territory, deep down, she understood Morningpaw's vision. She was always the quietest and most nervous cat in the clan. She abhorred violence and had frequent nightmares as a kit about Deep Root entities. If anyone wished to escape the Woodcrawlers - she couldn't blame a child for dreaming of a world without danger.

For a brief moment, she wondered if maybe she should take Morningpaw across the border during one of their excursions...maybe they could find Ferncreek, maybe he could offer Morningpaw the life of a kittypet...?

"But, I will offer you some hope," Tree added. "Namely...they are not invincible."

Morningpaw looked up from her paws, her eyes were watering. "...They aren't?" Morningpaw's voice was strained and small.

"Of course they aren't." Tree let out a small smile and blinked slowly at the apprentice. "They're just animals. Some animals are dangerous, like foxes...badgers...dogs, what have you. But animals still bleed, and make decisions. A dog can be chased off with enough intimidation and claws. The giant spiders are much the same."

"Giant spiders?" Morningpaw echoed, looking bewildered.

"Woodcrawlers," Cloudthunder reassured her. She understood what Tree meant; cats outside the clans had different names for the monsters. "They have very long legs, so some cats say they're spider-like."

"Ah, true, you would have a different word for it. What do you call the black effigies?" Tree asked.

"Black effigies...oh, do you mean the Nature's Mockery? The sort of...triangular plants?"

"Yes, those. And the floating lights?"

"Close, for us. Luring lights."

"Well, they are near their dens often, I suppose that makes sense."

"You've seen Fake Beings too, then?"

Tree's expression fell. "...Once. I thought I imagined it. A Zombified Twoleg."

"Unfortunately not." Cloudthunder's copper eyes filled with sympathy. "Ever heard a cat calling for help in an unusual manner?"

Tree gave Cloudthunder a horrified look, their ears slowly folding back. "...No."

"I...suppose a loner might avoid trouble where possible," Cloudthunder admitted. "Fake Cats exist too. They don't last very long, thankfully. The Twolegs seem to have the worst outcome. Cats are affected for about a week or two." Cloudthunder stood up from her spot. "I'm...surprised that you know this much about Deep Root entities, all things considered."

Tree paused for a while, processing this information. They took a deep breath before bringing their ears back to the side of their head. They gave their head a shake, as though forcibly flattening their fur."One meets strange things during their travels. A...Fake Cat is not one of them, but that may be a blessing." Tree followed Cloudthunder's lead. "Thankfully, I've learned the spiders - Woodcrawlers, I supposed you call them - don't do well without a hide to retreat to. They're ambush predators. Any bold enough to chase, tend to flee if you can tear out the tendons of one of their legs. I wouldn't recommend it for the same reason I don't recommend fighting a fox. But it does know how to flee, with enough persuasion."

Cloudthunder's pupils dilated at the idea of raking her claws across one of the bastards and watching it squirm. She knew that would be great hubris, but still - she could keep it in her reverie. With how much information Tree had about Woodcrawlers... "Redstar's gonna want to hear this," she mused out loud.

"Who?" Tree asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Redstar," Morningpaw mumbled. "She's our leader."

"Hey, Tree, I know this is a very bold request to make, from one stranger to another. But..." Cloudthunder offered a gentle purr. "Would you like to join ForestClan?"

Tree seemed caught off guard by this. "A cat colony, being welcoming to outsiders? That's a first. Morningpaw made it seem like I'd be chased off," they meowed, failing to suppress the amusement in their tone.

"ForestClan is...different," Cloudthunder admitted with a shrug. "Our methods would be considered advanced for some."

"More advanced than a cat using lemonweed to hide their chemical scent?" Tree asked with a twitch of the whiskers, their green eyes filled with amusement.

Morningpaw had remained quiet for much of their exchange, still chagrined. But upon hearing this comment, she said nonchalantly, "We can start fires."

"...You can what now?"

"Don't get the wrong idea - we don't really start them easily, per se, more like maintain the cinders," Cloudthunder laughed. "But yes - we do know how to start them, if necessary. It's hard, but it preserves food quite well."

"And we have dry bedding. And defenses. You wouldn't have to be alone," Morningpaw added quietly. Despite her mood, she sounded hopeful at the idea that Tree would stay. Tree seemed unsure about the prospect, but after looking between Cloudthunder and Morningpaw for a while, they sighed and began crossing over the stepping stones laid out on the stream.

"Oh, I may as well see, at least. A story to tell other travellers, if nothing else." Despite Tree's noncommittal statement, the way their golden tail flicked with interest as they padded in between the two cats told them otherwise. "Well, shall we?"

Cloudthunder suppressed a mrrow of amusement.

Something told her she was going to like them.

---

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[dogwaterdish]

ohh shit fanfic recs?? hello! all of these are mha fanfics btw

1. Bad Moon Rising by LittleKy !! ( @littlekysworld )

this is a super good SUPER angsty fanfiction!! I love the writing, it flows so nicely with how it switches between characters and the several things that are happening at the same time! the angst is also very EEK !??! !!!! and of course awesome DADMIGHT !!

2. Deku and Nori by UnknownToMe ( @art-lan )

I'm not all caught up with this one at the moment, but it's really fun. basically midoriya gets isekai'd into a world where there aren't heroes and quirks work a bittttt differently! then, he runs into this universe's All Might - just a regular kinda guy!

3. Bedside Manner by DaniDeservedBetter ( @savetheirhearts-midoriya )

Izuocha fans LISTEN UP. every izuocha fic I've read from dani has been life changing. In this fic, midoriya and uraraka are hanging out and cuddling and stuff, and it's just super cute and incredibly well written -- midoriya is the most i character I think I've ever read him in a fanfic, honestly!!!

4. Superhuman by DaniDeservedBetter

Let's just let my bookmark note speak for this one...

I've been thinking about this fanfic ever since I read it a year and however many months ago. It WILL alter your brain chemistry. izuocha fans this is basically a requirement to read

5. A Burden to Carry Alone by SyncXmA ( @syncxma )

This is a fic that I've read so many times that I don't even remember when I first read it, it's just ingrained in my being now. it takes place in a non-canon timeskip, and features midoriya overworking himself very hard in a very extreme way. It's another izuocha fic, and it's so expressive and works so well with both of them. plus, hawks moment . I heavily recommend this fic, even if you don't ship izuocha.

6. Lose to Gain by xmoreminutes ( @xmoreminutes )

I love this so much, and I can't wait to see where it goes. rereading it gets me crying every time, the first chapter has such a good dig into ptsd type of stuff that I can relate to . unfortunately. BUT ITS SO GOOD IS WHAT IM SAYING!!! read it read it read it !!! it's dadmight :]

7. to rise and return. again and again. by createandconstruct ( @createandconstruct )

ACK ITS ANOTHER DADMIGHT ANGsT FIC! this is a killer oneshot that takes place after that big old fight with nine during the second MHA movie, when all might showed up and whatnot. it's so frighteningly good I scream into my pillow even thinking about it . the words flow together in such an intoxicating way and I LOVE ! IT! just check out createandconstructs works in general, they're a literal goldmine for this type of fic

8. My Vibrant Sun by Quisanne ( @slitherin-away )

This one is NOT angst, fluff lovers come eat your meal... it's dadmighr again guys ... if you even care. I care so much because this fic is SO GOOD AND SO CUTE !!! I love fics where people assume all might is midoriya's dad, and this has that in such a fun way -- from the workers at all might's agency!! I love this fic a little extra because it came from the first ever dadmight week and I get extra happy that such an amazing story came from an event I ran . Three cheers for quisanne!!!!!

9. Just How Love Goes by Writer_Poe

This fic features all might helping midoriya cope with his shitty ass dad : > . I really love the emotions in this fanfic, they're portrayed so well and again, awesome ptsd rep and understanding here. Once again this is a fic I've reread so many times, and every time I find something new to love about it.

10. A Phone Call Was Here! by Lilly_Penwielder

I really can't recommend this fic enough. this fic is what comes to mind whenever I think of fanfiction as a whole, it's that good and fun to read. this is a fluffy dadmight fic with midoriya helping all might go through some of his stuff, and he finds some really nice things in the office they're cleaning out. fics that feature midoriya's admiration (cough cough special interest cough cough) for all might are some of my favorites, and this one really hits the spot. CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!

here's 10 fanfiction recommendations from me!! if y'all read 'em, it'd be killer cool if you tagged me and lmk what you thought !

Welcome to Feedback Fest 2025

Welcome to International Fanworks Day Feedback Fest of 2025! To participate, leave a comment under our post recommending 10 fanworks and spread the joy of fandom! Read more at: https://otw-news.org/yckvy6vh

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[xjackjackx]

Victim Becker is like The character ever because. as a Person he absolutely deserved better, he deserves a second chance to be happy again with Mitsi and Agent and his three new friends. he does not need an atonement arc, he does not need to apologize for anything, the world should be apologizing to him. but as a Character i would fucking hate it if victim redeemed himself.

like no. there is no world where i can see any scenario where victim gives alan and/or chosen a second chance and i'll be happy with it. it's not like chosen, who owed all his strength to alan and ultimately knew they have to team up against a stronger evil. it's not like purple, where his issue was a shitty father that he needs to forget and move on from, not hunt for approval or revenge or anything else. it's not like king, whose "villain" was a nonsentient game he was projecting his rage and inability to protect gold onto. victim has an objective, real antagonist to his story, and that antagonist is Alan Becker and his (in victim's mind) sidekick The Chosen One. There is no misunderstanding like King, there's no greater evil or vic owing them something like Chosen. Alan is responsible for every bad thing in vic's life, knowingly or not, that's an objective fact. Victim was traumatized for years because of Alan, Victim lost the love of his life because of Alan and Chosen (even if Dark is the one who killed Mitsi, Chosen assisted and Dark's dead so there's no one else Vic can hunt for)

I just. cannot see Victim ever redeeming himself. Him ever giving Alan and Chosen a second chance. Him going "I won't actively hunt you if you fuck off and never show up again" would be the best outcome, and that'd still feel wrong cause it's been over a decade, would Victim really back off after all of that?

What could make Victim back off? That's the biggest issue here. Why would Victim ever turn good after a life like his. He's spent 12 years plotting revenge. He lost the most important person in his life. He's so stuck up his own ass he views all his former employees as traitors and cowards. He's never shown himself to be grateful towards Agent despite all the shit that he did for him. He's convinced the rules are "I'm good and anyone against me is evil and probably with Alan ngl". His innocence is gone, Mitsi is gone, Agent is on his side and if he'll turn against Vic he would be written off as another "coward" and "fool", and the mercs are random hired guns that he does not give two fucks about.

If I was writing Season 3, I would not give Victim a redemption for the sake of a "happy ending" (he's similar enough to King anyway). For me, Victim is a character defined by tragedy; he's been wronged, nothing ever goes his way, he is the Victim of this universe. For me, Victim's story will end with failure, with a death that he won't return from, after he's lost everyone in a single-minded obssession with getting revenge. The same way the Chosen One became a hero, the Dark Lord died a monster in a failed attempt for world domination and the Second Coming succeeded where his predecessor couldn't, the Victim cannot escape the fate that's been forced onto him since his author wrote his story. Since fate cursed him. Since Alan gave him that damn name.

Would it be cruel and tragic for Victim to never get a happy ending after a life of suffering? Yes. But it would give AVA a more mature story than another "happily ever after". But it would teach Alan and Chosen that no matter how hard they regret and atone, some of their victims will never let them go. But it would teach the Stick Gang that even if they want to, there are some people you can't group-hug it out with.

Funnily enough, I only have that feeling with Victim. I'm very open for an Agent redemption, but that's for another day.

[peacekeeperangel]

The Cards! The Cards! a CRK anaylsis

Alright! Thanks to RoyalMike on Youtube I got the scene I wanted in regards to the Tarot cards used! Let's much on some Worldbuilding! Also keep in mind I am not into Tarot and am purely going into this for the writing being pulled off by Devsis. If I misinterpret things this is a Blind woman not even being led, I'm just stumbling along here. ***WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR CRK BEAST-YEAST CHAPTER 8! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK*****

Okay let's start with Pure Vanilla- Excuse me- The Truthless Recluse's Card Draw

Oookay if I'm reading this right, that's the Hanged Man- Woman in this case, (poor Strawberry Cookie) and then The Fool and The Hermit in Reverse EDIT: Wizard could also be The Magician, which would make sense so I'm going to include this interpresation just to be thorough. The Hermit Reverse: You've withdrawn from your loved ones in a harmful way OR The Magician Reverse: Confusion, Deceit, Ill intentions The Fool Reverse: Recklessness and a new beginning that borders on irrational. The Hanged (Wo)man: Discernment, Trials, Sacrifice. Huh. Surprisingly straightforward. Pure Vanilla has withdrawn from the Kids to his detriment and is currently playing games with a sciopathic ancient demi-god. Sounds pretty reckless to me! and the trials he goes through in this chapter leads to his Eventuala Ascention. Okay so let's move onto the other Cards the ones Shadow Milk drew for himself.

I'm pretty sure these are The Devil, Death and The Angel. All upward facing so that makes my job easier. Let's see. EDIT: Once again there's also a potential that the Angel could also be Judgement, so again adding this in for thoroughness. The Devil: Temptation no surprise there.... Hm. This is interesting. Living in Fear and Bondage? For being such a Jolly cookie having this interpretation is VERY interesting. It could be referring to his time being a Sealed Evil in a Can but it leads me to wonder. Death: The end of a relationship and the end of an unfulling career. For men specifically it can also mean the loss of a benefactor. The Angel: guidance with greater awareness and peace of mind, encouraging personal growth. OR Judgement: New Beginnings. I think the most interesting things we can interpret here is is that Shadow Milk Cookie might not be as happy as he appears being the Beast of Deceit. I complained a little awhile ago that I rather not the beasts or specifically Shadow Milk Cookie not go through a redemption arc but is it possibly written in the cards? Either way Shadow Milk Cookie didn't seem too keen on it since he immediately changed his cards (with this minions' help) to this:

I'm pretty sure that that's The Wheel of Fortune, The Emperor, and The Empress The Wheel: A change in Status The Emperor: Stability in life The Empress: Creation This sounds like another lie, only this time it's for Shadow Milk himself. - From Prisoner to Lord of a Tower, everything's going to be ok and good and make new things happen? the Emperor and Emrpess together also calls for collaboration, like maybe getting Pure Vanilla into the whole Evil Rule the world Muwahaha-thing. It turned out to be a lot more straightforward than I thought, but Shadow Milk Cookie's Tarot Reading is going to have the Fanfiction author's slavering I'm sure. Especially with the fact I note, the other Beasts at this point in time haven't said a word about each other but Shadow Milk referred to them all as Friends. If that were the case why haven't they tried to re-connect like the Ancients did?

That Devil card is going to leave me wondering for a good long while...

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

This isn't gonna be in line with my regular posts, but I wanted to rant/have a discussion about dating/romance as someone who falls under the asexual umbrella (demi).

To my fellow aspecs, is dating really supposed to be this hard? Is it suppose to feel this hopeless? I haven't been involved with anyone in over 2 years now, and we weren't even dating, it was a FWB situation. Looking back at it, I shouldn't have let get that far. I am still friends with this person because I do care about him and I understand that he never meant to hurt me. We're not as close as we used to be, but we still talk occasionally. But it took me a while to realize what happened between me and him just kind of broke me in a way.

I thought that if I gave him just enough, he would care for me like I did for him. When I reached my limit of what I was willing to give him, nothing changed. The pain I felt was torturous. I'm doing better now but sometimes when I think about how it all went down, I want to cry and yell at myself for letting it go as far as it did. Now I just can't find the strength to put myself back out there again.

On the very few dates I've been on (all prior to the situation between me and my friend), all they wanted was a sexual relationship. I don't want that, I've never wanted that. And I don't know what I have to do to find someone who feels the same way as me. I want to get to know someone, become close friends, fall in love...I want that fairytale ending but it seems impossible for someone like me to have. All I've ever wanted was to be loved for who I am and for my boundaries to be respected.

I don't want to give out my whole life story, but I have not gone all the way with anyone yet. (I'm not going to go into what I have done, that's TMI.) And for me personally, waiting till marriage is extremely important to me. I know for a lot of people, that's super out of date and old fashioned. I am in no way passing judgement on what anyone else does, that's your life to live and as long as your happy, that's all that matters and I'm happy for you! I just want my real first time to be with the person I love most, the person who has shown that they love me just as much as I love them, making a commitment to me and to us. I hope this all makes sense.

But going back to my original point, dating right now just seems...impossible if you're aspec. How am I supposed to find the right one when I can't find someone who holds that same values as me. I've honestly felt like I'm just a piece of meat to these people, just someone to use for their own gratification. Especially since I'm a bigger girl (more so in the past, but my point remains.) But it feels like they think I will accept any kind of attention because they think I'm desperate enough to forego my values. I almost let that happen with my friend, and I don't want it to come to that point again. I shouldn't have to give up who I am for the chance of experiencing love.

I know romantic love is not the end all, be all to relationships. I have a lot of platonic friends, new and old, that I love and care about deeply. I really hope this rant does not come off as me being bitter or envious, that was not my intention. I just wanted to know if there are others who feel this same way...I know myself, I know I am a very fragile person. I am a people pleaser, I feel as though I have to hide my true self around most people because I want them to like me. I overcompensate, I become meek because I am not confident in the way I look. In my mind, I think "if I make them laugh, if I'm compliant, if I'm soft spoken, maybe they'll overlook the parts of me I hate the most." It's not healthy to think this way, I know. But it's been a habit for 29 years and I'm not sure how to break it.

So, as another Valentine's day approaches where I am single once again, I'm left with this reoccurring thought that true love will never find me...and my biggest fear is that I'll have to learn to be okay with that.