#so this was like a little breather for me
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Talismen: Beginnings
Nicky emerges with an arcane artifact after a bewildering trip through an impossible shop. In wishing his boyfriend was more confident in himself Nicky performs irrevocable and accidental magic upon the world, building his new form and dulling his mind.
And I'm back! Here's the first story of my planned CYOA series, a little long but I love how it turned out! I'll be posting the poll for Part two on Sunday, the 1st of December, the planned options are at the end of the story and it'll only last a day so if you want to take part be on the lookout! At any rate, hope you enjoy and happy to write for you once more! -Occam
It was barbarian weekend at the renaissance festival. Nicky was dressed as a wizard and his boyfriend, Simon, had long planned to go on theme and dress as a barbarian. Though as the day neared and Simon anxiously stared at his decidedly standard figure in the mirror, he instead opted to just throw on a cloak and call it a day. Arriving at the fair the pair, as expected of the theme, find themselves surrounded by burly men clad in kilts with faux fur draped atop chests beyond impressive.
Gawking at hot men is of course par for the course of this kinda event but Nicky can’t help but read the shame and embarrassment creeping into Simon’s expression as he takes in the festivities. When they eventually step into a tavern for a breather Nicky checks in, “Heyyy babe? Everything good? Seem kinda down-” Simon shakes his head and forces a smile, “Don’t worry about me B, I’m aces!” He tosses a wink out for good measure before pointedly changing the topic, “So what was it you said you’re looking to grab this year?”
Nicky narrows his eyes for half a moment wondering if he should push or challenge his clearly sulking boyfriend before deciding to let the sleeping dog lie for now, “Mmmm, I don’t know actually? Probably just an accessory for the costume? Oh! Or maybe some dice?” Simon’s expression changes into a more genuine smile as he grabs at Nicky’s arm and massages it, “Well here’s an idea. We’re right by the dice shop yeah? Howsabout we split up. I’ll grab us some beers and you go check out the offerings. Meet back here?”
Wordlessly agreeing, Nicky leans in for a kiss and relaxes at Simon seemingly perking up. Heading off with a nod, Nicky exits the tavern, preventing him from seeing his boyfriend’s facade fade once more as he contemplates getting a drink or two ahead of his partner before his return from the shops.
Under the impression that Simon has cheered back up, Nick is off to the races. Dice shop just across the way he begins his short trek when suddenly there’s a buzzing in the back of his mind. The sounds of the crowd around him eerily fade as if his ears are waterlogged, he shakes his head from the sudden discomfort and takes a moment to see if anyone else seems to be affected. Before he’s able to inspect his fellow festival-goers he is shocked to see a strange shop he’s never seen before.
Nestled in between a printing press and some soap store Nicky furrows his brow and wonders how he’s possibly missed the shop before now. He’s been coming for years and knows the layout of the festival like the back of his hand. After waiting a few seconds to see if anyone else is entering he takes a cautious step forward and trips as his body tries to take another without his intent. Nicky blushes as he bumps into a brawny barbarian who laughs him off and ruffles his hair, “Watch where yer -urp goin dude huhuh!” Nicky nods an apology and reflexively takes another backwards step towards the apparently new shop. In a sudden need for an expedited retreat from embarrassment, Nicky quickly rushes towards the door and away from the man bumped who eyes him taking a large swig from a tankard.
He hasn’t the chance to notice that each step towards the shop that should not be there is quicker than the one that came before. In no time at all he tears open the door and is inside the quaint cluttered shop. While his eyes adjust from the bright fall day behind him, he takes in the scene as well as he can. The small space is filled with some bitter herbal scent and the air seems to crackle with something similar to static. Nicky of course attributes the strange prickle on his skin to nerves and continues browsing the curious shop.
There’s no real discernible theme to the shop, really it seems to be more of an antique store than anything else. In any normal situation Nicky would have already dipped back out, but something in the back of his mind keeps pulling him in deeper. Walking past strange dolls and stranger bottled liquids, the almost ticklish sensation continues to assail him with unconscious step forward. His spacial awareness tells him he has wandered further than should be possible but it’s almost as if he has no option to continue forward. Coming up on a curtained doorway Nicky’s hands move as if possessed to part the blinds and his eyes finally lay upon what supernatural, impossible thing must be drawing him inward.
It would be the perfect accessory for his costume. It would be the perfect accessory to put on and never take off again. It will be perfect. It will be his. He needs it more than anything. His eyes shine with the ruby tinges reflecting off the talisman as he inches towards the pedestal it lies upon. His hand reaches towards the object of his desires and burns as the prickling sensation comes to a head. He grimaces as it turns to an almost boiling heat before his fingers touch it and the impossibly intense sensation instantly disappears. Nicky jumps due to the sudden almost atmospheric change and before recovering he almost has a heart attack as who must be the shopkeep shouts from behind him, “HELLO HELLO YOUNG NICHOLAS!”
Nicky scrambles to hide behind the pedestal and inspect the mystery man, his vision momentarily tinged scarlet. As the twinges of whatever static sensation filled him moments ago begin to fade totally, he finds himself suddenly able to realize how strange everything about this is. He gulps as he sees a man dressed as a campy wizard adjusting his glasses, “Well it seems you found what you were looking for eh old sport?” Nicky looks down at the still shimmering necklace in his hands, stuttering incoherently as his mind races to understand.
In the half second his eyes were off the wizardly shopkeep, the man has crept up behind once more. Now throwing an arm around Nicky he helps him to his feet and begins leading away from the curtained room, “Hup hup- Now you must be very careful with your words now young Nicholas. Do tell Simon I said hello hm?” Nicky again looks at the necklace in hand and, hanging to the rational world by a thread, inquires, “P- Pay? Did I pay for this?” The wizardly man laughs and pats him on the back, “Oh don’t you worry ah ha ha! Hah.” The wizardly man winks, though even doing so there is an after image of a red eye staring into and through Nicky. The younger man opens his mouth to question the clearly mystic magus of the artifact and his intentions though before he gets a chance the wizard shouts.
“Do have fun at the festival my boy!” with that he brusquely pushes Nicky forward and he finds himself outdoors by a printing press and soap shop. Fearful of turning around to see there is no store there Nicky looks down to find himself wearing the talisman. Grabbing at it he finds the same sensation that filled him minutes ago, though muted. Pleasant. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he is again bumped into, this time by someone whose vision is clearly obscured by a mask, “Sho- Shorry!” Nicky sighs and apologizes, though the physical sensation and awkwardness brings him back to reality. Shaking off anxiety and pushing down whatever it is just happened he heads off to meet his boyfriend at the tavern.
Returning to find Simon housing his third ale, Nicky quickly downs his own to distract from the strange anxiety that remains persuasive in spite of their reunion. Wishing for distraction, it comes swiftly and in short order the pair are out and about enjoying all the festivities that the faire has to offer, various sloppy meats on a stick, bird shows and jesters, and a firework show to cap it all off. The day soars by in short order and Nicky, wanting to forget about his encounter in that place that wasn't, does just that with shocking, almost supernatural, ease. In fact anything Nicky seems to desire almost falls at his feet. With but an imperceptible red shine in his eyes Nicky finds himself wanting for nothing. The same could not be said for his boyfriend.
After sobering up, his dour jealousy for the superior male form returns and as much as Simon tries to hide it from Nicky, the long day has dulled his ability to disguise anything from his boyfriend. On the long walk back to the car Nicky initially avoids bringing it up, but after an eventful day of getting just about everything he desires, he can’t help but try and get to the root of Simon’s sour attitude. “Can you just tell me what’s up babe?” Groaning as he unlocks the car door the weary man answers, “It’s nothing Nick. I’m just- UGH! I wish I wasn’t so self-concious or had actually gone to the gym or-” turning to see Nicky’s puppy dog eyes for not realzing his discomfort Simon groans and apologies, “Don’t worry it’s fine, I um, I had fun!”
Mind flashing back to the barbarian costume that Simon ultimately decided not to wear, love for his boyfriend overwhelms him and he reaches out to hold his lover’s free hand. Hidden underneath his own cloak, Nicky’s talisman flashes red as the sticky staticky sensation returns stronger than it had been even in the shop. He doesn’t whisper or even coherently think the words as he immediately drifts off to sleep in the passenger seat, but the intention is more than enough for the die to be cast. I wish Nicky had more confidence. I wish he was less self-conscious. I wish he was proud of his body.
Subconscious wish made Nicky’s ruby red eyes remain closed as he falls into an incredibly deep sleep, leaving Simon alone with his thoughts. He squirms slightly behind the wheel as he suddenly feels warm. Mind too muddled to wallow he feels every inch of his body suddenly buzzing with energy, as if an espresso was being dripped into his veins. Looking at his sleeping boyfriend his thoughts shift immediately from self-criticism and body dysmorphia to a lustful, almost primal hunger for his mate. Nicky’s hand still burning hot on his own despite the blaring aircon, he fights the urge to bring the sleeping man’s hand to his cock as it begins to stir.
Before they’ve even left the parking lot Simon is overwhelmed with a lust for his partner stronger than anything he has felt in some time. Hitting the open road he chews his lip to distract from his cock doing its best to pop the seam in his pants, constantly he’s choking down horny grunts and groans to prevent the sleeping Nicky from waking up. Arriving at their shared home, he struggles to gracefully exit the car with his rod standing firmer than he assumed it could. Eventually making it out, he goes to pick up his still sleepy passenger.
With a great deal of effort, Simon successfully stills his hips and quiets his lusts to pick up his sleeping suitor. Baring the urges of his body he realizes that the task is far easier than it should be, Nicky’s not heavy but- Any further inquisition is stilled as he reflexively takes a deep breath of his sleeping lover and is promptly overwhelmed. Nicky’s floral shampoo and deodorant mix with b.o. from an unseasonably warm day in the sun and Simon doesn’t have the strength to quiet the grunt that erupts from him as his cock throbs and prods Nicky in the back.
Eyes blearily open as the sleeping wizard stirs and stretches in the arms of his lover. “Wha? Si?” The self-conscious Simon, embarrassed at waking up his boyfriend quickly puts him down. He blushes as Nicky steadies himself on his arms, still yawning he chastises his boyfriend for letting him fall asleep, “You didn’t *ahwn* didn haf to do tha babe, *awh*” Rubbing his ruby-tinged eyes he can’t quite make out the finer details of his boyfriend, but he would swear he’s looking further up than he usually does to make eye contact. Simon waves him off, “It’s fine, I’m not even tired really.”
Leaning down to give him a hug, Simon angles his head into Nicky’s nape he takes another deep breath, this time not even trying to mute the groan that spills forth, “MMmhm, y’know now that you’re up the night’s still young…” Nicky tilts his head before understanding as Simon’s cock throbs once more into his abdomen, shaking off the sleep Nicky’s own package begins to stir as he leads his partner into their home, “Well now that you mention it~”
Nicky starts disrobing when Simon grabs his hand, some small amount of discomfort hiding in his expression as he asks, “Would you mind if I, um, topped? This time?” Nicky tilts his head before nodding cheerily, “feeling frisky huh?” Nicky performatively poses before seemingly doing some mental math and continuing, “it’s been a minute haha! Let me just hop in the shower real quick and then we’ll have some fun!”
Already feeling like he’s overstepping Simon doesn’t mention his desire for Nicky to not shower. Something feral need within him forces forward an urge to tackle and fuck then and there but he pushes such thoughts down and waits as patiently as he can. Preparing to bottom on such a short notice, Nicky quickly strips and his eyes land upon the talisman hanging from his neck once more. Pursing his lips he goes to take the necklace off, though as his fingers clasp the chain he shivers as it sends a sensitive pang searing through him. Why would he take it off. Feeling immediately more alert and needy, Nicky swiftly hops in the shower to prepare for some fun.
Outside the bathroom his boyfriend taps his foot anxiously, sending a deep, impatient echo through the room. Irritated at the sound he stands and quickly disrobes himself. After getting the cloak off, the room is filled with slight groans of effort as he struggles to get off his shirt. It’s almost stuck to his skin? Probably from sweat he thinks but each time he wrenches it up it only frees about an inch more room. His irritation prevents him from noticing how it decidedly hugs new weight on his chest or cuts into apparently thicker biceps.
The sound of the shirt straining fills the room and he grinds his teeth as the prospect of being stuck in the top any longer is unbearable. His hands stretch longer and strain shifts to tearing as he rips the tunic off with a grunt. Exposed to the open air is a sweaty body far more impressive than when the man struggled to get ready that morning. Looking at the torn shirt in his hand he blushes as his eyes trail up his forearms and stare at a bicep that’s begging to be flexed.
Stepping out wearing only a towel and his talisman, Nicky smiles as he stares at Simon appreciating his arms, “Couldn’t have waited for me to put on the show huh?” Simon turns to see his boyfriend drop the towel and he loses control. Any sign of intelligence in his eyes vacates as he manhandles the man onto the bed. For his part Nicky assumes this to be roleplay, almost giggling from delight as the typically meek man ragdolls him onto the bed. Drool leaks from Simon's maw as he grunts and groans, struggling to free the throbbing package still trapped in his shorts.
Being straddled, Nick takes the chance to carefully observe his boyfriend’s body, appreciating the view that he seldom gets. For the life of him he doesn’t understand why Si got so worked up, with arms like that and a chest- or? When did he start working out actually? Nicky frees a hand to touch the man’s powerful torso and Simon shivers, reflexively rutting into him as his cock growing even harder sends the sound of fabric straining through the room. He’s decidedly firmer, heavier. Nicky sees hair begin to grow on the man’s chest and his mind for half a second hears the echoing laughter of a man he wished to forget. Though there’s no time to think as Simon goes for the tried and true method of just ripping his clothes off.
Eyes wide with wonder, Nicky watches as biceps bulge larger with each tug, shoulder span expanding as his hands yank and tear. His mouth falls open as he sees a cock clearly larger than the one that he knows Simon to have. Gulping as he realizes he’s agreed to take this dick that stretches up to his sternum, Nicky blushes and Simon smirks as he leans down to snarl or whisper something in his lover’s ear.
Nicky feels pre dripping onto his chest as the larger man leans down, his arms land to either side of the man exposing pits dripping with sweat and just before he speaks or growls, the talisman flashes red. Eyes focused on each other neither man sees some shard of light go from the charm into Simon. His eyes roll back and close before he falls down onto Nicky. Immediately concerned for his love, Nicky struggles to shift the man off him and call for help before he hears Simon begin to snore. His body feels like a furnace atop Nicky’s, a cock still erect continues to throb into his stomach and gush pre in between the two of them. He feels patches of hairs thicker than Simon typically carries scratching him. Nicky tries to force the sleeping oaf off him before quickly tuckering himself out.
It was a long day after all. Nicky yawns as he sees the back of the man lying atop him. It’s not right, too wide, too heavy. His ass is not that large his- ughh. With another shove to wake or move Simon, Nicky feels weariness truly overtake him and his scarlet eyes flutter. The sleeping man moves his arms to hug Nicky tight and the seemingly smaller man has no recourse but to give way, his sides tickled by patches of pit hair dripping with sweat. Nick’s head tips forward a few times as he struggles to stay awake though the sound of his lover’s new snores lull him to sleep.
In the morning Nicky wakes to find himself free from Simon’s grasp, though the man’s sweat stains leave a clear outline around him on the bed and his torso remains sticky from pre. His head aches with a hangover though after the faintest wish that it end, so it does. Groaning he gets to his feet and heads off to shower once more, en route he finds a note from Si: “heyyy babe woke up w so much energy!!! gonna go for a run or to the gym idk :) c u soon thooooo<3” Nicky rubs sleep from his eyes and reads the short note a few times over, “hmmm. Weird.” Shrugging he goes about his day as usual, cleaning up, brewing coffee, doing the crossword. Something in the back of his mind says he usually does this with Simon, but that can’t be right? He’d never want to do that. His eye twitches as unbeknownst to him, with each step further away his love has truly begun to change from his unintentional intentions into a man who will never feel shame again.
Simon doesn’t know why he feels so compelled to get up and at ‘em. For years he has given himself ultimatums, scheduled gym sessions, dieted and done his best, but there has not been a moment in his life where he has felt more drive, more purpose than his flight from their shared bed. It’s like he’s a new man with nothing on his mind but getting some meat on his bones. He barely had the wherewithal to leave a note for his lover, as is clear by the lack of eloquence.
Nor is that the only aspect askew from Simon’s typical self. As his anxiety at being perceived shirtless may suggest, the man is always conscious of how he looks. Rarely does a day go by without Simon giving himself a painstaking once over in front of the mirror, be it applying makeup or designing an outfit. To simply throw on a tshirt and leave without even rinsing his face is anathema, and yet after doing just that and throwing on his boyfriend’s sneakers, finding his own far too tight, he’s out the door well before the sun begins to rise.
His feet fall heavy on the sidewalk as his shabby outfit soon enough finds itself straining. Grimacing at the constriction it becomes clear that these clothes are far too tight and getting tighter with each step it seems. Nevertheless he presses onward until there is stinging pain from his feet struggling against their binds. While he’s been content to ignore or misinterpret the sounds of his own tshirt beginning to fray, as well as the pain that such constriction entails, he doesn’t want to ruin Nicky’s shoes. And so scrambling for somewhere to sit down he hops on a bench and begins to struggle with the laces.
Simon’s toes struggle against frontal fabric while the shoes’ tongues press into laces that simply must be cutting into the tops of his feet. Simon’s mind is clearly slowing down as he takes a few seconds too long to simply watch his feet expand beyond containment before, with a gasp, pain jogs him into action. At first he goes to untie them before he’s unable to recall precisely how to do that. Immediately switching to the task already begun by his growing feet he reaches in and simply tears each shoe in two.
His arms bulge with the effort involved in splitting them in twain, biceps that never were begin to appear and push his short sleeves to their limit as new muscle presses onto his chest. Looking down at his hands, decidedly more masc, the man can do nothing but observe his new form as it begins to extol an untenable price on his mind. With each new manly aspect so too will the cogs of his mind continue to slow.
Looking at his boyfriend's shredded shoes, Simon is immediately guilty though he releases a contented sigh as his feet flex free from their confines. His newly one track mind is then thrown off-course and his eyes narrow at the feet bare on cold concrete. They were not simply chafing or something reasonable of the sort, they are too big. They’re larger than his shoes and seem to still be growing larger. And wait- Why did he leave the house without wearing socks!?
Simon shakes his head to try and focus on one question at a time, though before peace comes there is a searing pain from his legs as his changes continue upward. Calves burst from his bony legs while athletic shorts are clearly strained by thighs that any man would kill for. Thick, perhaps barbarous, curls begin to issue forth from any pore exposed as he clutches with his newly thicker hands into muscle still hardening, still pumping larger.
Grunting loudly, Simon falls off the bench as ever spreading changes spread towards his glutes. His pert ass hardens and grows to a size that would attract attention no matter what he wears to try and hide it under. His whole lower body cramps with growth as his legs extend, wider feet scratching into dirt as calves and thighs lengthen while his pulse continues to race from the shock of this impossible transformation. Struggling with the new weight of self, his rougher hands pressed into the ground his duller mind is unable to reconcile what is happening to him with reality. The sound of blood rushing through his ears mutes the world around him and at the slightest lapse he simply forgets.
“Why am I on my hands?” Through bleary eyes he stares at hands too wide, fingers longer and thicker. He trails upward and almost scoffs as he sees forearms and biceps not nearly as defined as they should be, after another moment mouth agog he guffaws as he presumes to have put one and one together, “Oh ahuhuh- I must be workin’ out here?” Licking his lips as he is filled with an otherworldly surge of energy, Simon gets started following one of the most common impulses that is to evermore make itself at home in his mind. He starts doing some push ups.
Immediately do his biceps burn with effort as they put on weight at an impossible rate. Simon grunts with the effort of taking the wheel and commanding his body to be more powerful. His heart pounds in his chest as, just like every piece of fabric before, his shirt quickly gives way outright to the progress of growth. To the strengthening of self. With each dip towards the earth his pecs come closer to touching the cold soil before bouncing as his powerful arms rocket him back upwards with precision.
Simon continues exercising until his arms burn as numb as his new, slower mind. Not only does muscle continue to pack on with every punch upwards, but his impressive form is just as quickly patterned with burgeoning body hair. Sweat drips down onto a chest rapidly peppered with curls and steams off a back which holds hair slowly rising from his lightly furred ass. Sweaty steam trails upwards from widening shoulders and bulky traps into the cold autumn air as heavy breath mists from behind gnashing teeth. Nowhere does the hair grow thicker than under his powerful arms as a jungle of hair grows outward from his pits and sends distinct trails of sweat down his trunk like biceps and across his hulking pecs.
Body hair and brawn are not the only decidedly improved aspects of the man either. Just as he continues to pack on muscle with each thrust upwards, so too is his crotch pulled closer to the ground with every descent. His briefs struggle against a package rapidly growing beyond any tenable containment. Balls bulge larger to supply his impressive form with the hormones required for the growth he demands of it, pubes cascading upward and outward as they strive to assert that Simon’s masculinity shall never be in question.
So too does his cock throb and push against the confines of his underwear enough to be plainly visible. Not only from growing erect as his heart races, but from expanding to be the most impressive rod either he or his lover have ever seen. With the slightest glance down to see his new cock, he smirks and shivers as he imagines topping Nicky with that beast.
This of course sends such a powerful surge of lust through him that the bulging cock immediately bursts free from the briefs outright, leaving him clad in nothing. His cock, now free, drips pre onto the earth as he continues working out a few moments longer in the buff, plain for anyone to see were the streets not thankfully empty. Guffawing to himself after thrusting his new cock into the ground a few times in the process of pushing up, Simon’s new bovine mind eventually realizes he’s fully nude and public and quickly stumbles to his feet. “Oh shit huhuh-” He stands and scratches the back of his head and tries to plan some form of escape, in the process he flexes his bicep and can’t help but smirk as he sees the veins bulging along its impressive length.
Feeling his still turgid cock bounce with every slight movement, he continues laughing before looking down to see shredded clothes scattered at his colossal feet. Seeing the pile of clothes outgrown, Simon does everything short of drooling as he for the first time takes in his new form. Massive hands trail across padded muscle as the urgency of covering his dick fades from his mind.
When his sweaty pecs begin to glimmer from the rising sun he is immediately thrown back into awareness of his active criminal behavior. Checking the coast is clear once more, he pauses for a moment wondering what the big deal is about public nudity before being chastised by some internal Nicky. Simon turns back to the bench and laughs dumbly as he sees his gym bag lying discarded.
Pouncing like an animal, he quickly tears into and retrieves shorts that will surely leave nothing to the imagination. Nevertheless he throws them on and grimaces as they tightly hug his ass and package. Seeing shirts thrown to the side he scratches his face and his face quivers as he feels stubble grace it for the first time. He purses his lips just to feel a moustache scratch his nose and absolutely disregards the idea that he needs a shirt. Why would he cover up anything beyond what is necessary. Surely the world would be more than grateful at the chance to see his form he asserts, bouncing his pecs and chuckling as he does so.
Finding himself with nothing to do besides appreciate how built he truly is now, Simon uses his phone as a mirror to inspect every angle and uses whatever sparing space in his mind to keep track of the best ones. The massive man shivers as the sweaty steam rising from him briefly glimmers red, making it clear that Nicky’s will has been enacted on his lover and announcing the fulfillment of his will. Nevermore will he be self-conscious, quite the opposite in fact. As morning commuters begin their grind many offer a passing glance to the by all accounts himbo drooling at his own reflection, and never does one escape without receiving a wink or flex from the man.
When a pair of jocks eye him with jealousy on the way to class he holds back laughter, the idea that not twenty-four hours ago he was just like them, smaller even, is inconceivable to the new man. Though to be fair, much now lies beyond the realm of conceivability for the man. He thinks about offering some tips to the pair though refrains as something needles him far, far in the back of his simple mind. There was something he was supposed to do yeah?
Furrowing his brow in as deep a concentration as he can muster, Simon’s eyes close and his hands clench at his head as he tries to think. Laundry? Huhuh as if- Meal prep? Then why would he be out here? Simon starts groaning in frustration and tapping his larger, still bare, foot on the sidewalk. Ephemeral ideas he might have latched onto in a life before this one drift past before he gives up and sits down, crossing his arms. The bench creaks under his new weight as he almost petulantly reclines, head back and eyes blank.
Suddenly he jolts up and almost hits himself for not doing the obvious straight away. Obviously Nicky’ll know what to do! His clumsy hands struggle to get his phone from the pocket of his shorts and he smiles at the lock screen, a picture of Nicky being smothered by his massive arms. Simon then squints and bites his tongue in concentration as now even this requires some degree of effort. Quickly enough he dials up his beau and almost vibrates from the excitement of hearing his voice.
Back at home Nicky is playing a game though squeezes the phone in his headset as he sees Simon calling, “Hey baby? What’s up, early start today huh?” Would that he had a tail to wag, Simon laughs and answers, “ha uhhh, yeah somethin’ like that- uhhhhh. Yo did you uh, know what I was plannin’ on doing this morning?” Nicky tilts his head, for a moment he swears something is off with his boyfriend’s voice. Then his eyes go blank and his vision flickers red before, no it’s always been like that? Nicky swears something about his long hours at the gym over the years made him drop a few octaves but that’s neither here nor there.
Nicky shakes off this small stupor, “Yeah Si, you said you were going to the gym no?” an eye twitches, “y’know, like usual?” Excitement once more sets fire in Simon’s veins as he nods and laughs at himself for forgetting such a simple routine, “Ahhh what would I do without you babe huhuh!” He kisses his cellphone and winks at a woman walking her dog who was giving him a side-eye. “Well you have fun dude! Gonna go get a MASSIVE pump in!” Nicky wryly grins and rolls his eyes, “you too, you too b, see you later-” With that he gets back to the game, intentionally ignoring the crimson buzzing at the back of his mind as both men set off to tackle the obstacles of the day, totally unaware of the lives they are to unintentionally change evermore.
Potentialities: (Poll on Sunday the First at 12 AM CST)
Gonna keep this one limited as a test run! If you have any suggestions or ideas for the next poll please shout! Happy to get real wacky with it if there’s an interest!
Nicky Routes:
Grow up you asshole: Getting flamed in game Nicky’s clapback teaches a gamer to be a real man (Bear/Dilf TF)
Man you always play him: Well intentioned words bring his gamer friend far closer in mind, body, and spirit to his favorite character- Fictional character TF (Would prompt another poll for sure, haven’t done one of these before but if there’s a demand we’ll see!)
Simon Routes: (More standard faire jock/himbo tfs)
Sorry for the backwash bro: Accidentally sharing a drink causes his himbofication to spread
Let’s get pumped: Simon finds work as a personal trainer and is far more effective than he has any right to be
#male tf#muscle tf#mental change#dumber#reality change#hair growth#jockification#male transformation#masculinization#talismen
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Movie!Beetlejuice Relationship Headcanons
No matter what you wear, Beej is all over you. You could be in over your head in a depressive episode and haven't showered in days, wearing the same pj's since thursday and he'd still give you squeezes on your hips and thighs calling you sexy.
Although, less is better in his eyes when it comes to clothes. He can't stop staring if you walk around in a tank top and shorts in the summer.
Insanely overprotective and jealous. He doesn't care if that man you met up with was your brother or your cousin or whatever. He's pouting and grumbling to himself.
LOOOOOOVES to bother you at work with ghostly pats on the ass, whispers of things he's gonna do to you when you get home, jokes about customers, etc.
After a few years in the relationship, he gives you a ring. NOT A MARRIAGE RING, but a matching one to the one he wears. Surprisingly, he's content with just haunting you and having all your attention- not causing mayhem (at least, when you're around)
Secretly loves when you cuddle up next to him and snuggle into his chest. It makes him feel like a man and a good protector of his babe.
Beetlejuice hates how invested he is in you- but also had rigged the netherworld to make sure you stay by his side. He's deathly scared about you dying and leaving him.
Speaking of leaving him- even when it's just for work, Beetlejuice is incredibly fussy about "his favorite squeeze" leaving him. You could be going to get the mail and he still complains.
Surprisingly very romantic... okay, when he wants to be. Usually seen after fights or when you just have had a right shit day. He knows that the grossness isn't want you need and will probably have him sleeping on the couch- so he gives it the old gentlemanly charm and steals some wonderful food from a restaurant, lights some candles, and hell- he even showers! (you have to buy more shampoo though)
Is a massive fan of physical contact/PDA. He's not too liked wherever he goes- be it alive or dead- so physically showing that "Hey, this breather actually likes me" makes him feel a little less shitty.
#beetlejuice#keatlejuice#keatlejuice x reader#beetlejuice x reader#tim burton beetlejuice#beetlejuice 2#beetlejuice 1988#beetlejuice movie#betelgeuse#prettyboypistol#beetlejuice headcanons
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TF Trade with @axeeglitter
Josh was tired. He'd been on the set for hours, trying the same scene again and again, unable to get the role he was trying to convey just right. The director had lost his shit by this point, and had made Josh go outside for a breather and to collect his thoughts, because no matter what he tried, he just couldn't do it right. Josh, sick of being verbally assaulted by his director, had left in a rage and now sat in his dressing room, stressed and upset. After taking a few moments to himself, he started trying to calm down. Focusing on the items around him, he used the techniques his therapist had taught him to help ground his thoughts.
"Focus on 5 things you can see, Josh." He muttered to himself. One - The poster of the film he was acting the lead role in. Two - The LED bulbs adorning the mirror opposite where he sat. Three - the mirror, with his dashing reflection looking back at him, gorgeous event through the visible stress. Four - A small cactus, on his dressing table desk, his favourite plant, though it could use a little watering, that was for sure. And five - a small, golden lamp, pristine and very out of place, laid carelessly on his couch, as if thrown there in a rush. Josh didn't remember seeing that lamp before, it kind of looked like the stereotypical genie's lamp, maybe taken from the prop cupboard? But there wasn't a genie in this film… Bewildered, Josh headed over to the lamp and picked it up. Chuckling slightly to himself, he rubbed it, not really expecting any response, but figuring it funny to mess around with it nontheless. As expected nothing happened. He sighed. Despite knowing it wasn't real, magic wasn't real, he had been at least half hoping the lamp would respond to his touch. Throwing it back down, he muttered, "I just wish it was simpler" he sighed. "Easier. This is getting too fucking hard for me." As he uttered the words, it responded. The lamp glowed, softly, barely perceptible in the already warm lighting of the dressing room, but Josh could feel a pull towards it, and he went to pick it up. As soon as he touched it, his vision went. Terrified at his sudden blindness, he realised he couldn't smell, or hear either. His senses had been ripped from him, as if he never had them. Everything just stopped.
"Mr Hutcherson? Are you okay in there? It's been over an hour since you came back here… you're needed on set!" The extra, Carl, had been forced to come and get Josh on the director's behalf. Knocking for the fifth time without reply, he opened the door, to see the room empty, everything pristine bar a lamp laid sideways on the floor. "Must've been brought here by mistake" Carl laughed, and called out for Josh again. "Mr Hutcherson?" He must not be here, he thought. Picking up the lamp, suddenly it responded to his touch, a cloud of smoke enveloping Carl, and suddenly, Josh was in front of him. Golden bracelets adorned his wrists, and a gold collar was wrapped around his neck. Josh's eyes glowed gold and he boomed "Master… how may I serve you?" "Mr Hutcherson? Is that… you?" "If that is what you wish to call me, then yes." Josh's mind was screaming inside the genie's body, unable to convey his real emotions or thoughts. It was as if he was trapped inside this form, unable to be freed. "Tell me, what do you wish?" "I guess… I wish for a drink, this prank is insane, lets celebrate it with one haha" Carl chuckled. Suddenly, a drink was in his hand, seemingly materialised there out of nothing. "Woah…." Carl got a sudden idea. Josh had always been an infuriating coworker… so… maybe he should pay… "I wish to be Josh Hutcherson." Carl said, dead serious. Instantly, his body started shifting, muscles toning, height shrinking, hair changing, his entire body warping to match his twisted desire. Inside the genie, Josh could only scream, desperate to stop this. As Carl changed, the genie also changed, adopting his previous form, looking more like Carl. His mind started shifting, and the internal voice started quieting down. He was being erased, wiped, and Carl was setting in. Josh could remember who he was, but he was programmed to act exactly like Carl, which, it seemed, included being gay. He couldn't bring himself to think sexually about women anymore, only men, and the new Josh in front of him was beautiful. He instinctively groped his dick, smirking at the new Hutcherson in front of him. Carl, now Josh, noticed. "I wish for you to love me" He said, without any hesitation. Within a week, the world knew Josh Hutcherson was gay, and he had married Carl, his beloved husband. Years of love and beautiful happiness passed by, with Josh's work going wonderfully, winning hundreds of awards, becoming rich and hollywood's #1 actor, famous and beloved by all. The world bowed to brilliant actor Josh Hutcherson, including his all powerful servant, the Genie Carl.
#male tf#tf#celeb tf#celebrity tf#transformation#celeb transformation#tf by genie#genie#genie tf#genie transformation#straight to gay
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PUNCH OUT HEADCANONS: Clueless Friends Edition
so i showed my friends the punch out cast and asked them to make up headcanons for them (they have never seen nor heard of punch out outside of me rambling to them about it)
so uh
here it is
GLASS JOE
-Wet the bed as a kid
-Probably still does it
-Denys it
-Goes honk shoo honk shoo when he sleeps
-Had a mullet in middle school
-Has to draw on his eyebrows
-Mouth Breather™
-Wears a cap and nightgown and holds a candle at night
-Can’t swim
VON KAISER
-Bartender
-Screams into his pillow at night
-Screams like a little girl
-Wore light-up Sketchers in middle school
-Got bullied for it
-Goes to the gym to cope
-Fucking YEETS the dumbells
-Flexes on people (also to cope)
-If he is told to sleep on the couch, he will sadly sulk there like a emo person (cue sad hamster music)
DISCO KID
-Babygirl
-Zesty
-Took ballet/gymnastics
-Optimist
-Accidentally broke a trampoline
-Was the popular kid in school
-THE sweetest guy
-Cat person
-Owns 4 cats
-Wears fluffy robes
KING HIPPO
-Plays League of Legends
-Tweaks out HARD at Angry Birds and Super Mario Wii (friend is totally not projecting)
-Really good at board games
-Gamer
-Patrick Star kinnie
-Does NOT cackle. He giggles
-Has Live Laugh Love framed over his toilet
-His snores have caused earthquakes
-Heavy sleeper
PISTON HONDO
-”He did WHAT in his Honda?!”
-Behaves like that one English teacher you had in middle school
-aka the ”Never in my 15 years of teaching have I seen a substitute report this bad” teacher
-ponders
-Dances to animation memes
-Worked at Burger King once
-Constantly pissed
-Goes honk mimimimi when he sleeps
-If he ate a cheeseburger he would explode
-Was the guy who made the post that just says “everytime a new chicken sandwich releases”
BEAR HUGGER
-Smells PUTRID
-Real name is Cleetus
-Lumberjack
-Has a lisp
-Gets food in his beard
-Eats it (EWWWW 🤢)
-His theme song is “Entry of the Gladiators” (aka clown music)
-Wouldn’t survive a day in the military
-Plays Microsoft Flight Simulator
-Goes “weeeeee!” as the plane flies
-Has a poster that says “Eat Slur Game Repeat”
-Redneck
-Has a shirt that says ”These Fists Are Rated E for Everyone”
GREAT TIGER
-HOT
-Has the most beautiful hair but hides it
-Binged My Little Pony
-Binged Twilight
-Plays with Barbie dolls
-Listens to Kpop
-AMAZING at Just Dance
-Also good at DDR
-Plays Pikmin
-Loves the Stone Pikmin
DON FLAMENCO
-Once got addicted to cough drops
-Uses really bad pick up lines
-Does really bad trickshots to impress girls
-Slips like a cartoon character. His shoes go flying every time
-Watched MLP with Great Tiger
-Watches Mean Girls
-Kins Regina George
-Cried when she got hit by a bus
-Zesty
-Scoliosis
-Can pick my friend up with one hand
-Would lean on a wall, say “hey cutie, you free tonight?” and immediately have a coughing fit
-Took an Am I Gay? Quiz. It said yes and refuses to believe it (internalized biphobia)
-Likes big butts and he cannot lie
ARAN RYAN
-Menace
-Actually very lightweight, refuses to admit it
-Bullies kids on ROBLOX
-Keeps getting censored in chat
-Plays Dress to Impress
-Would hit you if so desired
-Uses Joker quotes
-Bakes pink cupcake in spare time
-Would make a balloon animal for a kid and then pop it like Gru
-The guy he tickled in his character intro was Don Flamenco
-Killed someone, steals, graffitis, takes candy from babies
-Should be in jail
-ADHD
-”Ya prob’ly got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya Mac?!” “well you have horseshoes”
SODA POPINSKI
-Dropped on the head as a kid
-Nicknamed ”Pinhead Larry”
-Oiled up
-Naturally loud
-Skipped leg day
-Mr. Krabs walking sound when he tiptoes
-Speedruns Hello Neighbor
-Hands are too big for the keyboard
-Makes dad jokes and laughs at himself because no one else laughs
-Gets bullied by Aran Ryan for his dad jokes
BALD BULL
-Someone threw a bowling ball at his head
-Peak Male Performance
-40% chip (context for this is in comments)
-Watched game shows, was in one once
-Blurts out the answers at the TV, gets pissed every time they get it wrong and screams
-Screams like the ash baby
-Shakes randomly
-Ate lead paint
-Ate a glow stick
-”ladies, ladies, calm down, theres enough of me to go around” (stolen from don flamenco, difference is this actually works)
-ash baby coded???
-Teeters on the line of being ugly and hot
-Gets beauty sleep
-20 step skincare routine
SUPER MACHO MAN
-”he looks like a founding father”
-Shrimp posture
-UGLY??
-Listens to phonk unironically
-Has jiggle physics
-Uses his chest to type on keyboards
-says “eureka!” when he as an idea
-FAKE chain
-wears speedos (canon)
-its his only outfit
-played five nights at freddys and shit himself
-Pimp
-GILF
-Looks 72, is 27
MR. SANDMAN
-Drag Queen
-Chappell Roan listener
-Once tried to wax his nose but got q tips stuck in it
-REALLY into horoscopes and gemstones
-NAPALMED a homeless shelter
-Dances like the dame tu cosita guy
-fucken BUSTS IT DOWN to every song
-Throws gang signs in his boxing gloves??
-Does the Omni-Man squat sometimes
-Ate a lightbulb and that's why his skin glows
-Skips to the song “Mr. Sandman” because he’s babygirl like that
LITTLE MAC
-Floats in the air when he smells pie
-Anime protagonist
-Loves Ben 10
-Had a greasy mohawk
-Ate a bug
-Sticks his head out of the car window
-Gulps and goes “EEEYIKES!!!” when he has to fight a strong opponent
-Listens to Mitski
-Loves the movie Ratatouille
-His favorite character is Remy’s brother
-Makes kandi bracelets
-Asserts dominance by T-posing
DOC LOUIS
-Wears yoga pants
-Has asthma
-Runs up the stairs on all fours
-Maximum silly
-Watches romcoms and cries
-Draws watches on his wrist and looks at it when someone asks him for the time
-Watched Skibidi Toilet AND knows all of the lore
-Doesn’t know what a tampon is
-Listens to the song that goes “once I was seven years old”
-Mama’s boy
-HORRIBLE driver
#shitpost#?#really bad headcanons#punch out#punch out wii#glass joe#von kaiser#disco kid#king hippo#piston hondo#bear hugger#great tiger#don flamenco#aran ryan#soda popinski#bald bull#mr sandman#little mac#doc louis#never letting my friends cook again#what the fuck is this#some of these are accurate but#king hippo playing league of legends??#the fuck???#send help
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💞💗 "oh, Sae-san will be hearing about this~" 💗💞
I've been thinking a lot about cognitive akechi in sae's palace wearing a bunny suit like her waitresses do👀💘
also I was on the hunt for bunny goro fics and > this one < was really good!! I loved it, though there isn't much bunny goro and it's really important to mind the tags🌸
#shuake#implied#goro akechi#persona 5#p5#bunny goro#bunny akechi#ive been working super hard on various projects#so this was like a little breather for me#to draw something so self indulgent lol#goro is my babygirl#ill always come back to him#my angel#♡♡♡♡♡♡♡#shitty#(< that's my art tag)
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quick little sketch since y'all liked my doodle this morning
#buttonblossom#pomni x ragatha#not putting this in any main tags this took me like 5 min#really loving how easy these two are to draw#might do something more polished later but atm i just wanna draw little sketches#working on fics the past few days so this has been a nice breather. takes a lot less time than my usual stuff
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something about trust
Writing below the cut!
“How… does it feel?” Locus asked haltingly. Lopez shrugged. “<Weird. But I expected that.>” Locus hummed, his brow furrowed like he was lost in thought as he scanned Lopez’s face. Lopez grabbed Locus’ wrists, bringing his hands to his throat. “What are you--?” “<One way to test it. Take my head off.>” Locus’ eyes widened, his expression turning panicked. He tried to pull his hands away, but Lopez held him steady. “<You are the only person strong enough,>” Lopez said firmly, giving the other no room to balk any further. “<If this synthskin doesn’t fix the problem, I want to know now, not later.>” Lopez could feel the way Locus’s hands shifted, his fingers flexing as he fought some internal debate. Lopez couldn’t read his mind, but the flicker of those marble grey eyes was telling as Locus looked at his hands around Lopez’s throat, then to his face and then back again and again. “<It doesn’t hurt, if that’s what all this fuss is about.>” Not strictly true, having his head removed wasn’t exactly a pleasant feeling. But better to do it now, with some degree of control, than in the middle of a fight or an accident. The sensation of feeling everywhere his skin touched was strange though, the normally very localized sensors spread out across the surface of the synthskin. Was this how humans felt things all the time? No wonder they were so easily distracted. Neither of them moved. “You’re certain?” Locus asked finally, his voice little more than a whisper. Lopez raised an eyebrow and let himself grin just a little at being able to convey the sentiment properly. Maybe there were some advantages to the synthskin after all. “<I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.>” A nod, then the pressure. Lopez knew Locus was strong, for a human, but the feeling of his hands tightening around his neck and pulling at his jaw, the base of his metal skull… His head didn’t budge, and the pressure eased. Lopez clicked his tongue, releasing Locus’ wrists. “<Good. That is one problem fixed, at least.>”
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb locus#rvb lopez#samuel ‘locus’ ortez#lopez the heavy#locpez#my art#batsy art#batsy writes#sometimes i swear i open clip to draw one thing and i blink and something else entirely has spawned in#im not MAD im just like#damn#okay#technically part of a longer thing i have pinging around my head with them and lopez getting himself a proper synthskin bc i accidentally#really really liked the more human look on him and went welp time to make up a reason to draw him like that more#im not immune to cool robot glowy eyes#lopez gets curly hair bc i said so but he would never let it get long enough to be fluffy#heart breaking as it is#technically i drew this last night fromwhen its getting posted but i wanted to give the halloween comic a little bit of a breather lmaoooo#sometimes the fully clothed piece is just hornier than it has any right to be and i think that means it gets some space first lmao#yes this is scheduled for 8am bc it amuses me and thats about how long im willing to wait before unleashing it#a whole 13 hours from when i finished drawing it yahoo
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I’m going to put some pronouns in bio. Everyone brace for impact
#it is so obvious that my gender is directly influenced by the people around me and the books I read and the shows I watch and-#I do sometimes need a little it/it’s main character as a normal thing breather tho because people have told me some wild opinions about#it/its usage and sometimes it gets weird using them. but I like pretending I’m entirely androgynous and also not human sometimes#dysphoria not from how my body looks but from having one at all. u know.#like I enjoy how I look most of the time? I’m indifferent to it#but for the past few years there are just times I look in the mirror and I’m like who the fuck is that
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I think my least favorite thing on the internet is how quick people are to call characters toxic just because they don't like them.
#not me finally giving in and googling spoilers so i can just get my head on right about these books#honestly i'm putting these books down for a while lol i need some emotional space before i'm ready to keep going#but yeah so many people are like 'this character is so toxic' when they're just mad that it took them a long time to fix their shit#like you expect someone who has basically been indoctrinated into a system to immediately learn all the lessons#and to like... NOT be majorly fucked up over it????#also the character they like is the SAME EXACT CHARACTER who just decided to SPEEDRUN the other guy's arc#and hitting the SAME EXACT EMOTIONAL BEATS like i'm not even joking#my partner and my sister in law have put up with too many of my rants over the last couple days#i will probably come back and finish this series when i can be a little more chill about it#anyway i'm fine i just need a breather#and to read something a couple books that are a little more lighthearted
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they dont know how long it takes / waiting for a love like this
every time we say goodbye / i wish we had one more kiss
ill wait for you, i promise you, i will
OCs: maive (she/her) | rauel (he/him)
#my art#digital painting#my ocs#KatH#maive#rauel#raive#i was listening to 'ruin' by the amazing devil on REPEAT while i worked on this. devastating for themmm#he was supposed to have a shirt but idk where it went. its fine shes technically not wearing a shirt either#theyre doing some chilled out shirtless summertime lap hangouts. platonically.#i told my boyfriend this is from years before they date and he went 'YOURE INSANE' and my bestie called them 'incomprehensible for that'#so i feel pretty good about how it turned out#it was so nice to do something self indulgent Just For Me... very relaxing! i might do more little paintings like this in the future#i had a lot of fun with it ive been doing back to back exchange/event arts and comms and stuff so this was a really fun breather#was talking to same bf abt this piece and we decided as cute as itd be for rauel to be putting the flowers in her hair#its MUCH more likely that he pulled that one out of her hair to play with QAQ hes so obnoxious i love him. my sweet boy...#type of guy to turn fully around in his seat to talk to her during class and get them BOTH in trouble for it. problem causer#ANYWAY. BEHOLD. TITTIES.
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One thing that I will say about me potentially bringing beej back (she says as she fills her drafts with posts about him) is the dynamic has to shift DRASTICALLY for it to work with the way I am now vs the way I was when I was obsessed with him
I was drawn to him because I had a desperate need to BE needed and his pathetic clinginess fit the bill, among other things like relating to his mother issues 😂 but im a healthier person now overall! And tbh I've never been happier in my life, with my partner, with everything 💖💖 I think in order for it to work he ALSO needs to improve and strive to be better and happier and idk...maybe that's beautiful!
I'm thinking maybe it's more of a slow burn because he really needs to learn how to be a FRIEND first before he can be in a healthy romantic relationship. So I'm imagining after he's had some time to reflect on his mistakes from the musical he ends up in me and my partner's house and we just...hang! We play games and watch movies and fuck around and he has a silly rivalry with my partner and he's given the opportunity to just BE happier and eventually down the line it just becomes something a little more ☺️
#jane journals#self insert talk#🪲 breather and the beast 🧃#updated ship taaaaag#am i gonna bother to retag all my old posts? FUCK NO#if u want some more context to my history w him its the same thing just with no emojis 😂😂#ourghh this ended up being more sappy than i thought itd be > w <#but idk its just smth i was thinking about!!#also my partner just interjected that its probably that they were just TRYING to summon a demon 😂😂#LIKE NOW THATS KILLING ME#beej having his little spiritual journey and reflecting in the void and suddenly hes poofed into the home of two hot ppl#his favorite thing#but yeah ourgh youll see that in the queue now and then!! :3#ive got it filled for the whoooole week while im on vacation with ruby ☺️☺️☺️#so ill be off and on!! i love you guys!!!#ill be taking pictures and stuff
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I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself
Thanks mate <3
stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped
just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp
#vent in the tags - so warning ig#got home from uni#have been in fight/flight mode since#turns out that fucking saps your energy incredibly fast#accepting that my mother and I's relationship is broken beyond any repair is oddly helping though#she's proven that she doesn't see me as an individual well and truly now#so I can put the energy back into myself instead which is meh#processing that alongside my insanely fucked up grief hasn't been fun at all.#my emotions about it have been out of wack since she saw me crying and grieving a friend and assumed it was anger towards her#like I'm fucking grieving a friend I found out has recently died - do you think I'm not going to cry?#but no just assume its me being angry towards you and not me having feelings. Sure. *fine* I'll just kill my ability to feel for a bit#so I threw myself into the lu fandom again till burn out#and now I've been on off crying for a week#feeling fragile as shit#but Improving#somehow#I think#*maybe*#don't know what other personal event could happen now to be worse honestly#last 8 months have been a fucking rollercoaster#then when I manage to get back up#put myself back together#have a little breather#get immediatly broken back down#I just want a fucking hug man#and perhaps to be told that I'm worth something#I don't know#nothing really feels all that good to me anymore#but I'm holding on through it#there's light at the end of the tunnel
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.
#i worked myself into such a heated fury from the last two posts that i reblogged that i had to take a breather and make a cup of tea smh#but ugh this whole thing just pisses me off so much. the double standard the fandom and the sport has. it's racist and unfair at its heart#in so many ways and sweargate is just another shitty reminder of it seeing how people react. like i saw jokes about how yuki would be dealt#with so much community service now that this rule has been instated. yet if he actually managed to get punished i somehow doubt that there#would be as much of an uproar as there is for poor little max. ugh ig the good thing is that it's max who got the first punishment instead#of yuki so that something might actually be done about removing the rule. anyways. you would think i would be used to seeing#the double standards from the sport. the fandom. but it always gets me every time.
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do#and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it#feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally#the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it#BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense#the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather#have one there bc like. ive done fast food#i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks#so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do#definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be#but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help#which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it#not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.
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Let slaves in mind be servile to their fears;
Our heart is high instarred in brighter spheres.
Fernando, IV.ii of Love's Sacrifice (1633) by John Ford
#i almost didn't read this play#john ford#poetry#caroline drama#english literature#there are 5 ford plays in this collection i borrowed from the library#and it's a loan from another library in the state which means it can't be renewed#i had read tis pity in a book i donated to savers and then decided i wanted to read perkin warbeck by ford#and maybe some others since tis pity was just so good#the broken heart was intriguing from a quote by charles lamb in the intro#and the lover's melancholy interested me since it was a tragicomedy#so those three plays (broken heart/warbeck/melancholy) i knew i had to read#and i had half a mind like yeah if i don't have much time before the due date i might return it wo reading sacrifice#(and i also read a few other things in between ford plays to just get a breather)#love's sacrifice might be his second best after tis pity#the broken heart was really good too. warbeck was a little strange but not bad. melancholy was... i had notes#but i still really enjoyed all 3#lover's melancholy and perkin warbeck suffer in comparison with the expectations i had from shakespeare's tragicomedies and history plays#they're still very worthwhile but ford is at his best in the tragic form#i really like how he writes female characters. he also has a flair for macabre set pieces and spectacle#i would love to direct any of these plays someday#i think all the time about how id direct like a bbc television shakespeare series but for other lesserknown playwrights#i would give so much to be able to bring ford's work to a general audience today#he has so much to say and is so entertaining
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hey watcherinas!!! having a bit of a mental health time so i think i'm gonna try to step back from tumblr for a bit (by a bit i probably just mean tomorrow but i just wanted to let you know lol) <3
#average boog post#just think i'm getting overstimulated and thinking about tumblr too much isn't helping that so i think i need a little breather#sdndnd sunday is STILL ON!!!#dw ill still be here just maybe not as much (and maybe not at all tomorrow idk i think i need a social media break)#that and some time to just BE without feeling like i need to constantly be creating and posting#i know a lot of what i do here is post silly jokes but i do put pressure on myself to make em good enough so... yeah#just unlearning my anxious / perfectionistic behaviors and thought processes and trying to find healthier ways to deal with things#love you all you mean the world to me#i think i just need to focus less on boog for a minute and more on...#REDACTED#HA YOU THOUGHT A NAME REVEAL WAS COMING DIDN'T YOU#PSYCH#okay but in all seriousness thanks for reading this if you did <3
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