#so this was before I was a teenager. which I guess sort of explains me being easily unnerved but doesn't explain this specific fear

[sstardustt3]

GUESS WHO MADE THE VEN DIAGRAM

if you can't really read what I put down here's the list (I'll probably think of more as I write the ones I already have down) and then I'll expand on them

Similarties:

Both live in New York

both have horrible parental figures who were most likely neglectful

homophobic

misogynistic

constant need to be in control

can NOT take criticism

teenagers

not very well-liked by the people around them

entitled

Marvin:

very gay

has a girlfriend??? somehow???

girlfriend is his only friend

jewish

actually developed as a person

Bill Dickey:

a little gay

bitchless

tall

has an actual friend group

Okay before yall get mad, let me explain.

Starting off, Bill isn't canonically gay from what I can tell anyway. But in my opinion any man who hates women as much as bill and andrew tate does has to be a little gay. It's not canon though I know that. However, Evan Dorkin did say on Twitter when asked what he thinks about Bill x Jerry that it could have happened if the Eltingville club continued. So take that as you will.

Marvin (at least in 'In Trousers') and Bill both view women more as like archetypes and as a monolift less than actual people. This is evident for Bill if you've read eltingville club then I feel this should be pretty obvious. First chapter he has dream where he's basically just captain kirk and he's surrounded by women, in the pilot he tries to rescue Princess Tiffany because she's "busty". Bill's thing is that he think's of women as something to concur and posses.

In Trousers takes place nearly entirely in the view of Marvin and his account of everything and everyone and gets misconstrued by him

(When he begins to shriek like a virgin/ and his eyes turn an ordinary fizz/ nothing's exactly as I say it is)

So all throughout In Trousers it's just him and how he views the world and women. The most prominent example of how he thinks of them is in high school ladies at 5 'o'clock. Which, this is largely my opinion and my personal analysis which I might fully post in the future. But, in high school ladies at 5 o'clock the ladies kind of show up as these just persistent, frivolous forces that are just obsessed with him in the same sort of way Bill views women.

Rounding back to what I said earlier about bill and his need to concur with women and possess them, he also just has a thing for being in control in general. He reminds me of those people who get into an argument on the road and then will start driving fast and swerving as a way to basically say shut the fuck up and try to scare you. Like he has to always be the one to start and end EVERYTHING. Most of the time in the comic's when the eltingville club temporarily split's and (spoiler alert) eventually split for good it is usually if not always his fault or under his request. Which is part of the reason he's such an unlikeable dickhead.

Marvin has a similar issue where he needs to have control and he needs to have everything his way. That is like the entire plot of March of the Falsettos, Marvin can't accept the fact he's lost the life he had and safety that it came with and forces himself to be a present figure weather wanted or not. Also, most of the relationships broken in Falsettos are his fault. He can't handle Whizzer not being completely committed and invested in him and his every little need that he blows up at him and leaves him. He ruins his relationship with Jason, mendel, and any resemblance of peace he had with trina because he couldn't believe she was moving on from him.

I already spoke about Bill's horrible parental figures ( that's what my original post that inspired this one was about) Marvin is alluded to having a neglectful parents. In Marvin's Giddy Seizures the ladies question if Marvin's outbursts are due to the lack of attention his mother gave him growing up

lately i've been thinking marvin needs attention/ of a private sort/ maybe this whole seizure thing Is something he invented/ or is it medicinal?/should his mother be blamed?

and in 'I swear I won't ever again' marvin speaks about Jason and talks about how a father's purpose is to make good money and nothing more.

mommy says you're funny/show me how you're funny/ daddy makes good money/ that's what daddy's for

This leads me to believe that he's following his father's example and what his father did. As we know Marvin wasn't exactly poor as he had maids growing up and most parents do look to how they were raised as guides on how to raise their own kids.

Anyways, long story short these bitches are two peas in a pod, only one actually grew up and the other remained a stagnant little piss baby cough cough..bill...

I think Bill turned out the way he did because both his parents didn't really pay attention to him ever and would just absentmindedly praise him hoping he'll just stop bothering them. Also for the sake of getting him to leave them alone they didn't tell him no. Like ever. And if they did I don't think they really disciplined him properly. Atleast not his mom. Which is why he's so comfortable stealing money from her. Going onto his dad I think bill was definitely subjected to rants of his dad saying just the worst shit about his mom throughout his entire childhood. In a very moral Orel camping episode-type way (ifykyk) and I think he probably internalized it or something. Now that I finish writing this I'm starting to see a resemblance in my favorite character and I might just have to whip out a ven diagram atp.

[mewgatori]

When I was a little girl very into chibi robo park patrol many years ago, I remember being very unnerved by the smoglings and their weird little dance they did when they appeared and to this day I don't know why. I guess it's linked to some sort of deep instinctive, primitive fear that I haven't figured out

[sammygender]

me when my dad is actually like weirdly supportive abt the trans thing (to an extent) and weirdly open to learning abt it and all it takes is… me directly communicating it! who the hell would have thunk

[clockwayswrites]

Uncle John Part 2

masterpost

Even though Bruce knew what he was opening the door to, it was still almost startling to see John Constantine shielding two teenagers on the other side. The oldest was a redhead, though Bruce could only tell that from the fierce eyebrows. The hair of both teens had been shaved so close to the scalp that it was basically nonexistent. From what little Bruce could see of the second, behind the protective forms of John and the red head, the second teen’s head was also bandaged from what little Bruce could see under the hood of the thick sweater.

Whatever they had been through was clearly no small matter.

“Who’s all here?” John asked as he entered, looking around the foyer as he slunk into the room.

The kids stayed close to his back.

“Just Alfred and Tim. Alfred is in the kitchen and Tim is up in his room, though he was excited to know that there would be other teens visiting,” Bruce said, keeping his personage open and calm.

Excited was at least an honest enough word for Tim’s curiosity that Bruce had tone his bet to tamper. It didn’t seem the time to pry and Bruce was sure to learn far more as he set up the new identities.

John’s frown said he knew exactly what excited meant for Tim.

“He can help us instead if you’d rather,” Bruce offered to keep the peace, “but I thought that the kids might enough just playing some video games and enjoying Alfred’s snacks while we worked.”

“Stop that,” John said.

“Stop what?” Bruce said, blinking guilelessly.”

“Making fuck’n sense.”

The kid in the hood muffled a laugh into the thick fabric. The sound made Bruce smile. It wasn’t so very bad if they could still laugh. It meant that there was still hope.

“Tim is my current foster,” Bruce said, as that was the easiest way to explain things. “I would guess he’s around your ages. And I’m Bruce, a friend of John’s.”

John snorted. “He comes off as a rich playboy, but he’s one of the good ones, if you’ll believe that.”

“Thanks for that rousing endorsement,” Bruce said dryly.

John just grinned back, his smile a little more teeth than normal.

“I’m Danny,” the one in the hood said, still mostly hidden behind the redhead. The voice was scratchy, like it have been overused recently. The fingers that clung to the too large flannel shirt the redhead wore were covered in bandages. “This is my sister Jazz.”

Jazz regarded him with frozen blue eyes. “If you do anything to hurt him, I will find some way to hurt you worse.”

“That’s fair,” Bruce said calmly. “All I want to do is what John asked me to: which is to make you new identities so that you will be safe. Well, I would also hope that you both could relax some and enjoy some of Alfred’s cooking. His cookies especially are something amazing.”

Jazz searched his gaze for a moment longer before almost reluctantly nodding.

“Would you be alright with Tim joining you two?” Bruce asked.

Jazz glanced back at Danny before nodding again.

“Let me show you to the media room then,” Bruce said and started leading the group that way. He kept up idle chatter about some of the games he knew that Tim had been playing just to fill the silence and make everything seem less threatening.

It was still hard to speak of Tim like a son, but easier than it had been when Bruce had been the very broken and irrational man Tim had first come to. If Gotham’s spirit hadn’t thrown a fit, if Constantine hadn’t gotten involved… Bruce hated to think how things might have continued. Bruce hated to think what sort of mentor and guardian he might have been to the boy.

It was hard, but it was better like this.

Bruce opened the door to the media room with a smile. “Make yourself a home. I’ll send Tim down and either he’ll bring snacks with him or Alfred, a demure British man who isn’t a serous as he seems, will bring them in.”

“Right, thanks,” Jazz said and pulled her brother inside with her. She closed the door on them.

Bruce looked at Constantine who rubbed calloused hands over his face.

“Yeah, mate, it’s… it’s rough.”

Bruce reached out and clasped his shoulder in commiseration.

---

AN: This was still stuck in my head so have some more! I'm thinking end game Danny/Jason, because it's me, and Jazz/Steph because Steph deserves to be a disaster bi with her own fierce, magic user redhead.

Obvious canon divergence due to the added ghostliness.

[ruewrote]

𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.

PAIRING: stiles stilinski x fem!reader WARNINGS: none GENRE: fluff SONG INSPIRATION: teenage dream by katy perry WORD COUNT: 1.2k

navigation | ask | stiles stilinski masterlist

it wasn't out of the blue for you and stiles to have a sleepover on fridays, actually it was a sort of unspoken rule between the two of you.

it first started when you said that you had never watched star wars before, which led to the both of you sitting on your couch with a big bowl of popcorn in between.

him explaining the little parts you'd get confused about or him just ranting about his favourite scenes. after that it was a back and forth of showing each other your favourite unseen movies.

when finishing said movie the following days you'd receive multiple memes from him about the specific films, it had become a recurring pattern that you'd come to love. it almost felt weird if he didn't.

tonight it was your turn to introduce him to the to all the boys i loved before trilogy since you'd been obsessed with the movies since they first came out.

he was on the fence about watching them since he wasn't a huge fan of romcoms, you somehow convinced him by saying "it's practice for watching them with your future girlfriend!" internally wincing at that.

every friday you felt more anxious before stiles showed, trying to fluff up your pillows and straighten out your blankets. wanting to make everything perfect.

you had a huge crush on stiles, how could you not after spending so much time together, learning all of his little quirks, his likes and his dislikes, the only thing you weren't sure about was the way he felt about you.

it was the one thing you wanted to know the most about him. did he think about you the same ways you thought about him? did he like the way cuddled when you'd watch these movies and shows with him?

you couldn't tell him though, what if he didn't feel the same way you did and it completely ruins the good friendship you have right now?

what would it take for you to finally tell him?

ding dong!

the doorbell ringing a couple times had you jogging down the stairs, opening the door with a warm smile to see hyper stiles.

"i'm so ready to get my movie night on! i had a math test today and let me tell you it sucked," he whines as he dramatically wraps his arms around your waist as he fake cries into your shoulder.

"well if it helps i have enough microwaveable popcorn to keep us going through the apocalypse soo you coming upstairs or what?"

with that said he zips past you up your stairs, falling up them in the process, making you giggle at his eagerness as you follow close behind him.

watching stiles practically swan dive onto your bed and aggressively sniff your pillow has you side eyeing him, "why is your bed so much comfier and smells so much nicer than mine? it's so not fair."

"it's a little thing called fabric softener and if you continuously jump into your bed the way you do mine, then i guess you've got your answer you dufus," you laugh at him burrowing himself deep under your duvet.

"plus i've slept in your bed it's plenty comfy, the key is lots of pillows and fluffy blankets." he hums as you settle yourself beside him before pressing play on the movie.

it was like ten minutes into the film when you could feel him slightly shuffle closer to you, keeping your eyes on the screen pretending it didn't happen. just patiently waiting until he felt comfortable enough to say something.

"can...can we cuddle?" you wordlessly lifted your arm, letting him slip himself under, his head on your chest, the rest of his body lightly pressed to your side.

it was like second nature to you two, whether either one of you had a bad week you'd take turns holding each other. you helped install healthy mannerisms that proved that it was okay for a man to be held because they deserve it too and that it was okay for guys to cry no matter who they're with.

so yes , when he had a rough day he'd often walk up to you and bury his face into your neck, his arms firmly wrapped around you as you cupped the back of his head and rubbed soft circles on his back just letting him know that you were there for him.

with everything he had gone through he deserved all the comfort he could get and if the source was you then so be it.

you would be lying if you said that your heart didn't speed up at the closeness and how his touch on your skin left goosebumps.

trying to be as casual as possible, you raise the hand that was currently wrapped around his shoulders to gently stroke his hair, feeling him physically melt into you calmed your nerves.

feeling your eyelids slowly droop, your hand movements become slower so your palm now laid on the back of his neck, fighting sleep felt so difficult when he was beside you. his presence was so peaceful, comforting even without him saying anything.

the early start of your day hitting even harder now. He won't mind if you rested your eyes for a little bit, right?

stiles noticed the similarities between the two characters to the both of you, but there's no way that you deliberately put this on as a sign? was he reading too deep into it?

when he went to question you about it, lifting his head he was met with you sleeping peacefully. his gaze softened at the sight, gently tucking the piece of hair that fell in front of your face.

"you are so goddamn beautiful and don't even know it, even when you sleep? like can you save some beauty for the rest of us?" he chuckles at his own joke.

"i don't know how long i can keep pretending that i'm not totally in love with you...there really isn't anything that i wouldn't do for you." he whispers and he studies your features.

"it's honestly crazy how i feel your absence in everything that i do when i'm alone, in every place i go without you." he sighs, going to go back to watching the tv.

"you really mean all of that?" you whisper, making him jump back.

"uh- i-i do, but i thought you were asleep?"

"no i was just resting my eyes, but i'm sorta glad that you thought i was for you to finally confess your feelings for me." you smirk at him.

his mouth opens and closes, utterly bewildered at what you just said, "what do you mean finally?"

"You realise that i like you too, right? that i have for the longest time?" stiles eyes now wide, looking even more lost than before.

"you like me? like like me like me?"

sitting up, grasping the back of his neck, "what are you..." pulling him closer, your lips brushing against his. it takes him a second to register the kiss before melting into it. leaning closer to deepen the kiss. his hands brushing over your hips as he laid you down, now hovering over you. your hand running through his hair, tugging at the roots.

you're both now smiling as you share a few more pecks before pulling away. "so you do like me!" he grins, "oh my god. dude yes!"

"ya know if you're gonna be my girlfriend, you're gonna have to calling me dude."

"would you prefer shnookums?"

"that's it!" he pulled away just enough to tickle you.

from that night forth you and stiles had become inseparable, practically connected at the hip. but you wouldn't want it any other way.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡

© ruewrote 2024.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

heyy! so this might be so random but i saw something on tiktok that made me think of it. how do you think dad!rafe would react to seeing that creepy shit on baby monitors? like when it looks like the baby’s being pulled or something that looks like a ghost? or it could be totally different and be some stupid kid hacking it and saying shit through its speaker.. i’d write it myself but don’t think i’d do it justice😅

hacked

A/n: IM CRYING THIS IS SO AMSING 😭.

Warnings: mentions of creeps once… that’s it rlly

MASTERLIST

It was an easy night, with your baby girl being surprisingly calm all day, it was like a breeze to put her to sleep in her cradle.

He got underneath the covers with you, you already fast asleep next to him. He had a small smile on his face, going to wrap his arms around you at the same time he glanced at the baby monitor next to you.

He furrowed his eyebrows, his arms stopping mid-air as he heard the baby monitor with concern on his face.

It sounded like a heavy breathing, along with a scratching noise.

“What the fuck?” He mumbled to himself, quickly sitting up in the bed.

“Babe, babe,” he whispered, shaking your resting body in an attempt to wake you up.

“What…?” You groaned out, your eyes still shut as you stretched.

“There’s some weird ass noise coming from the monitor-“

“What?” You sat up quickly, listening along with him. You heard it as well, when you suddenly heard a womans voice whisper incoherent words, along with a boy making some sort of whale… noises? You couldn’t place it.

You and Rafe practically shot up, Rafe grabbing the nearest thing he could use as a weapon, which was really just a glass bottle, before he bolted to the room.

He turned on the light, stepping into the room first, you following behind him.

Your baby was still asleep, thankfully. You and Rafe looked around, practically turning the entire place upside down, making sure that no one or nothing was here.

Rafe checked the windows, still locked. He also checked the alarm system, which was still working perfectly fine, and looked as if nothing had happened.

Still, Rafe had told you to stay in the nursery with her until he could finish checking the entire house. You slumped into the chair, rubbing your eyes and yawning quietly.

You waited for what felt like eternity, Rafe finally coming back into the room. “Nothing.” He spoke, shaking his head.

It finally clicked in your head, you moving over to unplug the baby monitor quickly.

He furrowed his eyebrow at you, before you explained to him.

“I’ve seen videos where this happened and I guess they can get hacked if they’re connected to your WiFi.” You explained, him narrowing his eyebrows.

“Wait- so someone hacked into the WiFi?”

You nodded, glancing at your baby in the crib and the monitor on her stand.

“Does that mean someone could have like- been watching her?” He asked, the mere thought of it enough to make him angry.

“Or us.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples.

“It’s okay, babe. It’s probably just some dumbass teenager playing some prank on us, okay?” You mumbled, putting your hand on his shoulder, “Let’s just… go to sleep, yeah?”

The next morning, the neighbors were knocking at the door, their teenage son and younger daughter standing with guilty looks on their faces.

“Hey, Mr and Mrs Hart, what can we do for you?” Rafe asked with a tired smile on his face, his voice raspy with sleep.

You stood next to him with your baby girl on your hips, giving them both smiles and greeting them.

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m afraid we caught our children playing a prank on you last night, and they had something to say.”

“We’re sorry, Mr and Mrs Cameron. It won’t happen again.” They both murmured in unison, you and Rafe looking at them with confusion on your faces.

“Wait… the baby monitor, that was you guys?” You asked.

The boy nodded sheepishly, his hands going to the back of his neck.

“Well, thank you, kids.” Rafe said with a chuckle. “I’m glad you told us. I was one more thing away from calling the police.”

They both looked up at him now, mouths agape.

“We’re so sorry, again, guys. I’ll make sure that they get punished for this.” Their dad spoke, you and Rafe waving goodbye. Rafe shut the door, raising his eyebrows.

“Honestly, I’m relieved it’s them and not some weirdo.” You spoke, him letting out a chuckle, nodding in agreement.

[fancyfeathers]

Ykw I guess that make sense, i feel like its only easier since daughter!reader can push him around a little since they're the same age. It's honestly hard to say who has the best relationship since they all suck😭. If I was her I'd be able to handle him. Except DICK AND BRUCE. they are basically two sides of the same coin and it would drive me crazy. I wouldn't stay in the same room with them if I could. Nothing could convince me otherwise. Although, when mother and daughter get older does the relationship improve with any of them or does it all just spiral out of control?

I know eventually that the secret will come out that Bruce blackmailed mother!reader to get back together. I just KNOW daughter!reader will never let this go. She'd do everything she can to help her mom out. Call the Kent's? Call her crazy (ex?) court of owls boyfriend? Anything to get away from these psychos. Might as well call the whole justice league

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

Honestly I think I am gonna place this in a Yandere!Justice League AU so like say if she did get out and told someone like Clark about what has happening, he’d just take her back to Gotham, “I believe this is yours”. Or if the Justice League found her, cue the next meeting were Bruce walks in to see his daughter in one of Hal’s constructs, an oversized hamster ball and just, “Hey Spooky, I think you lost this one, she tried to bite off my finger so she’s definitely yours.” This whole idea makes the thought of her becoming an anti-Batman/Justice League vigilante later in life even more funny.

On the other end of things…

One would think it would have improved over the years and in some cases it has, like by the time Daughter!Darling is a junior or senior in high school her mother has just sort of accepted there is no way in hell out of this for her and after that point her marriage is fairly normal or as normal as it can get. Meanwhile Daughter!Darling only grows more agitated as the years go on, and at the point where she is almost an adult she is in her extreme rebellious phase as they call it, but in actuality it is just her being a normal teenager.

Like she leaves after school with her friends or boyfriend (before she found out the truth) and hangs out with them and while her mother said it was alright, her father never did. Like I am just imagining her and her friend group, which is small all ready because Damian scares away most of everyone else, along with her boyfriend going out to grab coffee after school and Tim shows up, telling her friends that he has to take her home because there was an accident-

Bullshit, they were tracking her location and he’s come to drag her back to the manor.

This sort of thing happens every time she tries to do something away from them…

Dick came to pick her up from the ice skating rink.

Jason practically dragged her away before she could even get in her boyfriend’s car when he was going to take her out to the movies.

Even Stephanie has shown up when she was shopping with her friends for a dress for a date with her boyfriend (he had given her his credit card to pay for the dress), but that date never ended up happening.

It all comes down to a boiling point one day after school, Damian was sick and she had convinced Bruce that she was tutoring a student after school but instead she was in the backseat of her boyfriend’s car (you can probably guess what they were doing) since they have not spent time with each other in forever. She is cuddled up next to him and he finally asks…

“Is everything okay at home?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

She explains everything to him, well almost everything, right as she was about to reveal that her father is the Batman, there is a very loud knocking on the window of the car, and a very angry looking Dick Grayson was there, she had forgotten that he was going to pick her up from school. She pushes her boyfriend back when he tries to stop her from leaving but she tells him not to get involved right now.

The drive back with Dick is tense to say the least, he grips the steering wheel so tightly that you can practically hear the skin squeezing the leather. The worst part of it is that he calls Bruce in front of her and tells him everything…

“She had sex with a boy-“

“We didn’t go all the way-“

“You were half naked in his care, I- you have a bite mark on your neck- oh for fuck’s sake.”

When she gets home she is in huge trouble, even Stephanie and Cassandra, who normally somewhat take her side, are mad at her, so you can only imagine how fuming Bruce is at her. It is horrible for her to be sitting in the living room with everyone around her while they all yell at her and she barely gets the chance to talk.

“You are practically a child, what would make you think-“

“I turned eighteen a month ago!”

“I think you should have let me put that boy in his place when I first found them together, father.”

“Maybe she should stay with me in Blüdhaven for awhile.”

“No, we should keep her at the manor.”

“Really Timothy, and let her continue to let her to go to school with that boy who defiled her?”

“Damian, I was the one who-“

“We could confine her to her room until we find a better way to address her behavior.”

Then that is what happens, locked in her room twenty four hours a day, the definition of a prisoner in your own home. Every screen in the room has been taken out, cameras in her room, she eats by herself unless someone comes to join her, most books are taken away because they could be considered even mildly inappropriate, so literally all she can do is sleep, eat, shower, schoolwork that Damian brings her, and she could talk when one of them comes to see her but she really does not want to.

Meanwhile at school her boyfriend is fucking pissed at Damian and her boyfriend is one of the most influential people in that building, one of those pretty boys, so having him being mad at you isn’t a good thing…

Especially when his family are rather influential members of the Court of Owls.

His family holds enough influence to get Damian expelled from the school for his aggressive tendencies. His mother drags Mother!Darling off at galas and charity balls to join her circle of friends, most of which are members of the Court of Owls as well, and while Mother!Darling is drinking a glass of champagne and chatting, the boyfriend’s mother places a hand on her shoulder and gives her a smile…

“You know I am your friend, right? You can trust me with anything.”

Sooner or later something is bound to slip in the facade of a perfect family and when that happens everything becomes a clock, ticking away.

One night after everyone has left for patrol and the two darlings are getting ready for bed a few certain shadows slip into Wayne Manor. Now it may turn a few head in the court, sending out Talons to kidnap rather than kill, but it can be overlooked when one of them is going to be the fiancé of the heir of the Court’s most influential families.

Now this could end one of two ways…

The first of which is if the Bats get back in time, the alarms going off in the manor at the intrusion. Then by the end of it all Daughter!Darling is in the corner, crying and terrified, feeling horrible that her family was right all along about the boy she was dating, he was a horrible person. After that neither of them are left alone again, she moves rooms to share with Cassandra or maybe Stephanie, and not just share a room but share a bed, if something happens then they can’t waste a moment on reacting. Then someone is always with them, Bruce’s wife is stuck to his side during the day, being dragged along wherever he goes, then the youngest of the bunch has all of her siblings looking after her, wake up next to Cass, get dragged along by Damian after breakfast, forced cuddles from Dick (and Barbara if she is there) before lunch, Jason watching her during lunch to make sure she eats enough, watching movies with Stephanie in the afternoon, Tim keeping an eye on her while he reviews footage before dinner, and then when patrol rolls around one or two of them stays back to keep an eye on them.

Then the second outcome is if they don’t get there in time. They won’t wake up with the entire court present, no that is honestly far too intimidating and they certainly enemies of the court, but they do not wake up together either. Mother!Darling wakes up in an armchair in a sitting room, it is terrifying to see all of those friends at those galas she got dragged into all sitting there, laughing and talking like nothing was wrong, and then the boyfriend’s mother just smiling at her…

“Oh wonderful, you’re awake! I was worried you got hit too hard when you got knocked out.”

“W-what’s g-going on?”

“Oh yes, I suppose you would be scared, but you need not worry, I promise you that no one will harm you or your daughter again. Now that aside, would you like some wine? We have this one red wine that just came in from Italy that is absolutely divine.”

Meanwhile her daughter wakes up in a room that is not hers with her boyfriend next to her, holding that white owl mask, and he just smiles at her while she’s terrified because she thinks she was just kidnapped by her boyfriend who always felt too innocent to even get in a verbal argument with someone.

“Shh… don’t cry sweet thing, you’re safe now, nothing will ever hurt you or your mother again.”

[a-simple-imagine]

Pass Me By

Synopsis: Jordan doesn't wanna date you but no-one else can either.... based on this prompt by @poppy-metal

pairing: jordan li x fem!reader

words: 2.9k+

WARNINGS - swearing, suggestive themes, alcohol, insecurities about gender and just a hint of a toxic situationship

It's a tranquil, cosy night under the relaxing sound of rainfall rattling against the glass windows that do not open. faint moonlight bathes the room in a divine glow. this wasn't your dorm room but a place you knew all too well. from the collection of beer bottles starting to form across their desk to the joint buds in the ashtray. a guitar sits collecting dust in the corner. you've never seen them play it or so much as acknowledge it. a skateboard balanced on the shelf for decoration more than anything. The room always has this pleasant smokey cologne lingering in the air. it was a messy room. a sort of organised chaos that was so incredibly Jordan li. but you loved it. you'd drown in the ashy mix of cologne and joint smoke if you could because it meant spending time with them. it meant they wanted you here. it meant something. you liked Jordan and they liked you. although they had trouble showing it. you have had that very awkward conversation before but now you avoid any mention of it. they explained they didn't really know what they wanted and at the time, you were fine with that but now you're not too sure. now you kind of wish you could bring it up again and have a grown-up conversation but you're much too scared to face reality. because an ounce of their affection would always be better than none of it. you would rather live in the mystery than feel completely alone.

your head relaxes against their toned, slightly sweaty, chest. fingertips gliding up and down your stomach in a slow steady rhythm. it's delicate. soothing. tickles just a little bit. you could honestly stay like this forever, relishing in their affection. they feel so warm against you. it fills you with such a content, comfortable, feeling. you have been together like this for a while now, listening to them spill secrets in your ear like you're an angsty teenager's new journal. they scribble down all their hopes and dreams; their greatest fears. garnishing the page with pretty stickers and pictures so when they look back, they can't help but smile. it's silly but it makes you feel good. it was such a uniquely intimate moment. nobody knew Jordan the way you did. they didn't allow themselves to be vulnerable too often. perhaps some misguided attempt to seem cool and mysterious. but with you they did and that must mean something, right?

"I don't know," their soft voice fills the otherwise quiet room. "it's really kinda stupid."

"you don't have to tell me," you explain, moving your head to briefly look up at them. "but I'm here if you want."

a warm silence settles over the two of you. you take it as a sign that they don't want to talk about it which is fine. you would never pressure them into talking about anything they're not comfortable with. After a moment, they speak up again. "my powers are such a big part of who I am," their voice is very quiet almost like they're scared to say it. "would I still be this way without them?"

rolling onto your stomach, you finally look up at them properly. his hair is tousled and just a little messy but pretty. no matter what, it always looked pretty. even in the dim light, you can notice the dusting of pink across their cheeks. they seemed content; relaxed. "be what way?" you wonder. jordan's hand that once danced across your skin now rests against the small of your back.

"bigender, obviously."

"I don't know," they wanted an answer you couldn't give to them. identity was such a personal thing." how did you feel when you were younger?"

"I guess it's always been a little confusing,"

"Why are you suddenly questioning it?" you wonder with a slight chuckle. imitating their action from earlier by running your fingers up and down their chest.

"dunno," they shrug. "it's just a little fucked that my powers are just one more thing for people to hate me for."

without powers, Jordan never would have gotten into Godu. and if they hadn't gotten into godu, you'd probably never have met. the world can be a cruel place full of distaste and anger but as selfish as it was, you're grateful for the opportunity to know them. "you're always gonna get people who hate supes."

"yeah, but I mean like people hate that I shift. the whole bigender thing doesn't sell- it's fucking shit." his voice is louder now; firm. "add that to the whole Asian thing and I'm screwed. everything is against me."

"Jordan," you hum softly, stopping your motion. they've always been so confident in their identity. never cared what anyone else wanted from them. it was something you admired about them, so it was almost weird watching them discuss it with such uncertainty. to question something so fundamental to them. you hardly knew anything about yourself. "do you want to know what i think?"

"i guess," he huffs out. a grumpy little guy.

"I don't think it actually matters," you urge, planting a gentle kiss against their sweaty stomach. "maybe you wouldn't have been bigender. maybe you would have. maybe your powers are just a manifestation of who you were always meant to be. at the end of the day, all that matters is who you are now." you lay your head back down against their chest. "and i think they're pretty awesome." with a gentle hum, his arms slide over to hug you against them. guess they were satisfied with that answer.

"Well thanks," he says after a moment. "now if you could just convince the rest of the world to be less transphobic or xenophobic too, that'd be more useful."

"I'll get right on that,"

"parents would be happier. the powers they wanted but none of the gender shit. just their perfect superhero son."

"you are their perfect superhero son." you grin. "you're just also their perfect superhero daughter too. their perfect superhero person."

"you think I'm perfect," he teases.

"I think you're… something."

"hot? sexy? the coolest? what?"

you chuckle. leaning down to kiss their stomach but this time you gently nip the skin. "I'm not gonna feed that massive ego of yours."

"I already know you're obsessed with me," his grasp around you tightens ever so slightly. "can hardly blame you." you smile against them. they were probably right. you wouldn't admit it. "I wish they looked at me the same way."

"fuck them."

"don't talk about my parents like that." Jordan insists. "only I can say stuff like that."

"Sorry," you respond. you can hear their heart beating in their chest. one heart. one beautiful, fucked up person. you let your eyes flutter closed, enjoying the sound of Jordan li. "people put expectations on us and that's fucked. just be whoever you want."

"suppose." he mumbles softly. "sorry for being pathetic- no more talking about stupid ass feelings."

"I don't mind." you really didn't. you would listen to them talk about anything. "really."

the thing about being with Jordan is that you're never really with Jordan. it is always very hot and cold. you may find yourself in their bed naked, listening to their confessions but the very next day, they would probably ignore you. you rationalise their reaction by considering it embarrassment. they get self-conscious when it comes to being vulnerable. that doesn't make you feel better in the immediate sense but does allow you to remain hopeful for the future. you often see them around campus but you don't really talk. even if you did, they prefer to act like you hardly know each other. even just a smile is too much for Jordan Li; they prefer a dirty look. occasionally they found the time to text you back but that's hardly anything to write home about. plus you're always the one to initiate the conversation unless they're after something. your friends think they're an asshole. every time you find yourself left on read or longingly stalking their social media, they'd tell you to move on. and that's how you ended up here. at some random dorm party. apparently, the best way to get over them is to find someone new. you didn't want someone new but apparently, that's not a good enough reason to stay home. it's not a bad party. it's actually pretty fun once you relax and stop checking your phone every few minutes. but you should have known that if there was a party, Jordan Li would probably be there looking as radiant and mysterious as ever. a ghost haunting you in a crowd of drunk students. they also seemed to have a way of always knowing exactly where you are. you'd keep catching sight of them when you're getting a drink or talking to someone new. you're supposed to be ignoring them but they're making it very hard.

with a red cup full of the most disgusting beer in one hand, you're sitting on a couch listening to some random guy tell you all about himself. his name was Mike. Matthew? Matthew seemed correct. you don't remember exactly. it is so loud in here. the music wasn't even good. he was handsome though.

"so that's why I decided psychology would be better." he continues to explain his shift in major which had to do with his family. it's a sweet story. he seemed like such a genuine person. "I wanna help people but not through crime-fighting plus that'll give me a chance to work with supes and regular people."

"that's cool," you nod. it came out a little sarcastic but you never meant it that way. you had such admiration for people who wanna use their powers for good. it's not like you wanted to take over the world or anything but rather you had no clue what you wanted. it reminded you of your conversation with Jordan. you have no clue who you are or what you want. "I wish I was smart enough for that. kinda feel like I'm just here at the moment."

"that's fine too like you've got loads of time," he assures you, shuffling a little closer. a hand coming to rest on your arm along the back of the couch.

"that's true," you agree. "I don't know. we'll see, I'm not too worried like it's-"

"hey," you both look up to spy a masculine Jordan Li staring back with their arms crossed over their chest. his expression was indecipherable but fuck, did he look so good. "you gonna introduce us?" why would you introduce them? jordan wasn't part of this interaction and you hardly knew the other guy. Why was Jordan even here? they haven't spoken to you in days. when you don't respond, Matthew takes the liberty of introducing himself. you did remember his name correctly. "I'm Jordan."

"I know- everyone knows. you're in the top ten dude." Matthew is a little too eager. you would think he was the one sleeping with them.

"I am, yeah. can I just borrow," they point at you. "for a sec."

"uh…"

"I'm sorry. I'll be back." as you stand, Jordan clasps your wrist and basically hauls you up and off towards the hallway. you don't bother protesting. they were stronger than you anyway. "what do you want?"

"what are you doing?" voice firm. jordan shifts to his femme form. fluffy short hair becomes an adorable bob. a much smaller frame but arguably more intimidating.

"excuse me?" your brow furrows.

"Are you stupid ?" Jordan asks, in a slightly more aggressive tone. "what are you doing?"

"what do you mean?" you had no clue what was going on right now. "I'm not doing anything."

"that dude is like all over you."

"no, he isn't. We're just talking," you argue.

a humourless laugh. "I know you're not that fucking naive,"

"Why do you even care?" you shoot back. you would hardly consider the conversation you were having the epitome of flirting. sure, there were a few lingering glances and some touching but there wasn't anything wrong with that. at least they were actually interested, unlike Jordan. "you've been ignoring me all week." a flash of surprise across their face that quickly disappears as they turn away from you.

"I've been busy."

"That's what you always say-"

"excuse me for having a life that doesn't revolve around you," Jordan fires back snappily, scowling back at you.

"why are you mad at me?"

"oh, I don't know. blatantly flirting with guys when you know I'm right there is a pretty shitty thing to do."

"I'm not flirting with anyone, we're just talking about our majors," you clarify. "and it's none of your business anyway, it's not like we're together. I can flirt with whoever I want."

"so you admit it." a scoff leaves your mouth. wait. was Jordan Li jealous right now? the same Jordan li who couldn't be bothered to so much as smile at you in the hallway was now mad that you're talking to someone else at a party? you can't help but laugh a little and when they frown in confusion, you laugh a little more.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" you ask, a playful quirk of your brow. "is the infamous Jordan Li jealous?"

"don't be an idiot," they defend, taking a step away and leaning back against the wall. you watch them carefully before following their gaze out into the sea of other people. "why would I be jealous?"

you close the distance once more; leaning in close. you hold their gaze. such soft pretty eyes hold so many secrets. "because you like me,"

"fuck off," Jordan huffs, flinching away from you. "I don't care what you do."

this whole conversation proved otherwise but okay. either way, you were done arguing over it. you were supposed to be focusing on other people not getting wrapped up in Jordan li again. "sure," you comment sarcastically. "I'm gonna get a drink and you're gonna leave me alone." you don't give them a chance to respond; simply walking away in search of a new drink. you half expect them to follow but they don't. with a fresh red cup, you decide to return to Matthew. he seems to have found somebody new to talk to. a tall guy with very distinctive feline eyes. "sorry about that." the boy looks at you, with a confused frown and then back to his friend. That was weird. "are you okay?"

"yeah," a smirk. "I just don't fuck with other people's girls. too messy." with that said, they both walk away. other people's girls? you weren't dating anyone. falling down against the couch, you search the crowd and spot a certain guy sporting a mischievous smirk. surely not. surely Jordan wasn't that much of a dick. when they catch your eye, they start walking towards you

"you look a little lonely over here."

"fuck you." you spit sharply.

"touchy." they hold their hands up in the air to feign innocence.

"you're such a fucking asshole," you grumble. sinking further down into the plush fabric of the couch. you were pissed. not over Matthew specifically. after all, you hardly knew him. but over the fact, that Jordan was so petty. you never expected them to do something as stupid as this.

"I didn't do anything " Jordan claims, a quick shrug of their shoulders. "he was just a dick."

"you told him I was your girlfriend."

"I didn't do shit," Jordan responds casually, shifting into their femme form as they fall down on the couch beside you. you sit forward ready to leave but not quite doing so. "I just decided to come talk to you since you seemed all lonely- sorry for trying to be nice."

"you don't know how to be nice."

"ouch," a playful hand slaps over the heart. "however will I go on" they chuckle, leaning back in their seat.

"fuck you."

"Will you chill out," their hands slide over your shoulders; gently pulling you back and into their awaiting embrace. "that guy was fucking dull as shit,"

"you don't even know him," you huff. no attempt to move out of their embrace; breathing in their perfume. it was surprisingly fruity. not their normal go-to.

"maybe not." Jordan answers. "but I know you." she hugs you against her chest. warm and tight. "I know your body." their hand slips down across your waist to rest upon your upper thigh. leaning in close, her breath is hot against your neck. "that dude could never fuck you as well as I do." whispered in your ear. A tingle spills down your spine. you shift against them, feeling very hot all of a sudden. "we both know it." you swallow hard. You don't know what to say. and frankly, you're worried that if you do they'll hear the tremble in your voice. you definitely don't want them to know the effect they had on you. not right now. not when you're supposed to be ignoring them. a feather-like kiss against your neck before it presses deeper. jordan sinks her teeth into your skin and your mouth falls open. a soft sigh slipping into the air.

"fuck…"

"That's what I thought," hummed against your skin before they pulled away. "so how about we stop playing games and go find somewhere quiet," they gently squeezed your thigh. "yeah?"

Jordan fucking li. they really were a piece of work. and your friends were gonna be oh so disappointed in you.

[ineffablesuffering]

Pub Quiz (Crowley X Reader)

*not my gif!*

Warnings: use of alcohol, i think that's it? oh and crowley in a turtleneck - thats a major warning.

Pairing: Crowley x gn!reader.

Word Count: 2,355 (i got a bit carried away writing this whoops)

Note: to the lovely anon that sent me a request; i'm working on it! i see you!

Masterlist

_____________________________________

“Oh, c’mon it will be fun, you never want to do anything fun,” you whine.

“I’m plenty fun,” Crowley said, sipping his whisky. You roll your eyes at him. The Drunken Donkey was hosting a music quiz and you were desperate to go.  You had grown up around all sorts of music and back when you were a young teenager discovering the world of ‘decent music’ as your dad had put it, he would test you on your knowledge and it was something you had become quite fond of.

“Please,” you beg, “I’ll buy you a new plant, wash the Bentley, and buy you a drink.”

Crowley let out a sigh and looked down as he swirled the whisky in his glass. It’s not as if he had anything better to do with his time and he was rather fond of spending time with you, not that he’d ever admit that. An uncomfortable, but not unwelcome, feeling pulled on his heart when he looked up at you to see you giving your best puppy dog eyes. “Fine! Fine,” he said exasperatedly, “but don’t complain when I beat you.”

“We’ll see about that,” you say with a cheeky grin.

A few hours later, you were waiting for Crowley to make an appearance outside The Drunken Donkey. You had returned home to get changed into something a bit more appropriate for an evening in the pub, and so it seems had Crowley. He rounded the corner and you had to try to stop your jaw from hanging open. He wore all black, which was nothing new but the turtleneck jumper? Yeah, that was new, and he looked downright sinful.

“Well don’t you scrub up nicely,” you say when he approaches you, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Not so bad yourself,” he comments with a smirk. Your cheeks flame. “Ready to lose?”

“Oh, you’re so on.”

You both head inside and Crowley heads to find a seat in the busy pub as you approach the bar.

“What can I get for you my lovely,” the woman behind the bar said. You order yourself your favourite drink and a large Talisker for Crowley, before tapping your card and heading off to find him.  

“For you,” you say placing down the whisky in front of him. He shoots you a small smile that’s enough to make you clutch your drink a little bit tighter before sitting down opposite him. “So basically, you need to have this app to take part in the quiz, you just put your name in it and then tap the right answer. Simple! Do you need help or are you old enough to do it by yourself?”

“Oh, very funny,” he huffs pulling his phone out and situating himself. “Now remember; no crying when you lose,” he smirks at you. You just look at him as you take a sip from your drink.

“We’ll see about that,” you put your own information into your phone. “Shall we make a bet?”

“A bet with a demon Y/N? That’s a bit risky, even for you.” He gives you a wicked grin and he leans in closer. You can smell his cologne at this proximity, and it makes your palms sweat a little bit. You really do need to sort yourself out.

“Well,” you lean in, not letting the proximity to him make you nervous. “I’m feeling rather confident tonight.”

“Okay then. If I win, you have to buy me a coffee every day for the next two weeks.”

“And if I win, you have to drive me around in the Bentley for two weeks, chauffeur hat and all.” You smile sweetly holding out your hand. He grins and shakes your hand.

“Deal.”

Soon the quiz master is telling you the rules, and you feel a sense of nervousness in your stomach. Maybe this was a bad idea, he did have nearly 6,000 years of experience on you, which is an awful lot of time to listen to music. The quiz master explained that there was to be four rounds; the 1980s, the Naughties, Guess the Next Line and a round specifically dedicated to Queen. Crowley perked up when he heard the last round, he smiled smugly at his phone, thinking he had this in the bag. It would be nice to not have to pay for coffee for two weeks, he thought to himself. He takes a quick glance at you over the top of his sunglasses, seeing you slightly wiggle in your seat. Your nerves, weirdly, gave him a sense of confidence.

“Okay ladies and gents, Round One: The 1980s,” the quiz master starts. The first song plays and within the first second, you’re tapping the answer.

“What?” you say as you look up and see Crowley staring at you slightly open-mouthed.

“How did you know that so quickly? The song barely started!” he points out.

You feel your nerves start to disperse and that sense of confidence washes over you again as you shrug with a smug smile on your face getting ready for the next song. The opening notes to The Look by Roxette play as you tap again within the first few notes of the song. You start to sway along in your seat. You hear Crowley growl as you continue to get the questions right and get them right quickly.

Soon the round comes to an end and the quiz master puts the leaderboard up and you smile smugly at Crowley as you see your name at the top of the board and him close behind in second place.

“What was that about you beating me?” you grin cheekily.

“Shut up,” he grumbles “It’s only round one. Don’t get too cocky.”

You giggle at him; the host announces that they are starting round two. You shoot him a wink before looking back down at your phone getting ready to start. You miss the redness that dusts his cheeks.

After the end of the round, you find yourself at the top of the leaderboard again, but this time Crowley is only a few points behind you and getting closer.

“I’m catching up to you, Y/N,” he says smugly, “You seemed to miss a few songs there, are you slipping?”

“No,” you say confidently. “I just know the 80s better.”

“I see,” he finishes his drink. “Another?” He gestures to your now empty glass. You nod at him before he heads off to the bar. A small smile graces your lips. You rather enjoy spending time with the demon. You love spending time with Aziraphale too, but this was different. Crowley just seemed to get you and your sense of humour. He was kind, although he would never admit it. He once acquired a first edition copy of your favourite book for your birthday one year, but he brushed it off as something that anyone would do. That’s when your feelings towards him started. Something about the gesture was so heartfelt and thoughtful that you couldn’t help but fall just a little bit in love with him. You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed the drink being placed in front of you and Crowley retaking his seat.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, startling you.

“Oh sorry,” your cheeks heat again, a common occurrence around Crowley, “I was just thinking about how I can’t wait to be driven around by you for the next two weeks,” you reply cooly, not letting your thoughts get the best of you. He takes a sip of his drink and leans back in his chair, not quite believing you.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t get too comfortable Y/N,” he smirked at you.

Before you could respond, the quiz master introduced the third round. The round went by smoothly, and you were now tied with Crowley in first place, who had been slowly creeping up behind you as the round went on. You felt yourself becoming more nervous as you went into the Queen round, knowing this is something that Crowley would do well in. It really was anybody's game. The round goes by quickly and before you know it the quiz was over. You look at Crowley and he looks back at you. He seems nervous. The quiz master is soon displaying the final results and you see your name at the top of the leaderboard, one point ahead of Crowley.

“Would you look at that,” you cheer smugly, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Don’t be so juvenile,” he groans at you.

“Don’t be so sour,” you grin at him “Oh I can’t wait to have a personal driver for the next two weeks.”

“You just got lucky.”

You lean over the table, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said giving your face a once over, ever so slightly lingering on your lips.

You lean back in your seat, feeling quite proud of yourself. “You know, I think I should demand one of those special apology dances you make Aziraphale do for you.”

“Absolutely not.” He said, finishing his drink, “I don’t do the dance.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard,” you bring the last of your drink to your lips with a smirk.

“Shut up,” he huffs, glancing around the still-busy pub, the quiz long forgotten by everyone else in the room. The night was still young and despite him losing to you, he was rather enjoying his evening and didn’t want it to end. His gaze lands back on you as you type out something on your phone. “Do you maybe want to come back to the bookshop for one more?” he asks. He sounded nervous, as if you might reject his offer. “Aziraphale’s in Edinburgh visiting a friend, and I know he’s got some lovely vintage wine hiding somewhere.”

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” you smile at him, and he smiles back. He stands up and offers you a hand which you take, and you walk down the street to the bookshop.

A few moments later, you were in Aziraphale’s bookshop lounging on his sofa with Crowley. You sat cross-legged facing him, and he had an arm stretched behind the back of the sofa, sunglasses placed on the table by the door. You suggest to Crowley that you should put some music on, he snaps his fingers, and the sounds of Duran Duran filled the air. You smile at him, of course, he knows how much you loved them. It’s just the kind of demon he was, thoughtful, kind, and caring. One glass turns into two as the music continues to play in the background and you talk about this that and everything in between. He tells you tales of Rome and Athens way back when and you watch him talk. He describes everything in such a way that draws you closer to him. His hands waving around as he talks, little drops of wine occasionally falling from the glass that he never thinks to put down. He truly was a sight to behold.

“You’re staring,” he said finally placing his glass down.

“Am I?” you say blinking, you turn your head to the side.

“Hey, I never said I minded,” he said, your attention suddenly back on him. Was he flirting with you? The butterflies returned to your stomach, and you couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the way he spoke to you. He stood suddenly; a hand stretched out towards you. “Care to dance?”

You look at his outstretched hand for a beat before a shy smile appears on your face as you gently place your hand onto his. He helps you stand and is quick to pull you close to him. You look at him and he looks at you with a small smile on his face as he snakes a hand around your waist. The music suddenly changes into the soft melody of Spandau Ballet’s True. You giggle and hide your head in his chest. Was this his doing? You look up and find him gazing at you.

“So…” you begin.

“So…”

“This is different,” you smile.

“A good different or a bad different?” he asks twirling you.

“A good different.” You say before falling into a comfortable silence. You lean your head on his shoulder and he leans his on top of yours. The two of you swayed to the music as if you were the only two people on Earth.

“I’m glad you dragged me along tonight,” he says softly, the vibration of his words running over your body.

“I’m glad I convinced you to come, even if it means I need to buy you a plant and wash the Bentley.” You laugh. He chuckles.

“Don’t bother,” he says chuckling as he lifts his head. You move your own to look at him. He really did have the most beautiful eyes.

“I guess you’re right, I did win after all.” You grin at him, removing the hand that was once in his and placing it on his chest giving him a tap, “I’m just that good.” His now free hand now found its way to the side of your face. You tilt your head, confused at the movement. His face had an unreadable expression on it. “Crowley are yo-“

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up,” he said almost breathlessly, as he pulled you close and kissed you. A beat passes before your eyes flutter closed and you kiss him back, the hand that was once on his chest now cupping his face bringing him even closer to you. He pulls away just enough for him to rest his forehead against yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he whispers just loud enough for you to hear him.

“Me too,” you whisper back, “Me too.”

He grins at you before kissing you again, his lips warm and soft against yours. He pulls back, a hand still cupping the side of your face, his thumb rubbing up and down against your jaw. “Would you maybe like to go out on a date sometime?” he asks softly. You nod, a smile wide on your face.

“Yeah, I would.”

[precioustarkey]

journalism at its finest

summary: you have made a career for yourself by interviewing celebrities, but are feeling a little uncomfortable when one hits close to home.

warnings: none

i nervously climbed into my car. the engine only makes my nerves rattle more. growing up, i was infatuated with actors and musicians. i found myself watching movies for the actors instead of the plot. listening to songs for the singers instead of the message. i can't explain my relationship with the media. i guess being online a lot as a teenager is to blame.

regardless, i knew from an early age that i wanted to work in the industry. not as an entertainer, but in the background. i wanted to observe the lifestyle up close. going to college for journalism was the best decision i have made for myself because now i get to live out my fantasy. 

i get paid to interview these people. and though i find a lot of them uptight and spoiled, the nosy side of me loves picking them apart. because of my job, i try my best to stay neutral on these celebrities so that they don't feel uncomfortable. apart from the research i do in order to come up with my questions, of course.

today is different. there is a show called "outer banks" that came around during quarantine, so with my free time, i binge-watched the entire first season. as i mentioned, normally i watch tv shows and movies for the actors, but i hadn't seen anyone in this show. 

however, when i delved deeper into google, i found the name of one of the actors to be familiar. drew starkey. i quickly found out that he grew up in north carolina, as did i. confused, i pulled myself from my cocoon on my couch to find my old high school yearbooks. grabbing one at random, i see him grinning in his senior photo. how could i forget? 

ever since i discovered this, i avoided the show like the plague. even though i had been surrounded by celebrities for years now, i had never known one of them personally. it almost ruined the glamorous aura surrounding them. imagining him as a regular teenage boy in the classes we shared was humbling. he wasn't mean in high school, not at all. if anything, i remember finding it odd that he hung around the theater kids because he was a total jock.

because of quarantine, i knew that press would be difficult for the actors, and because of this, i never anticipated having to interview them. which helped ease my nerves. moving to los angeles meant that i would interview every celebrity on the new up-and-coming shows. part of me hoped the hype surrounding the show would die down before the lockdown did.

the entire ride to the studio, i told myself over and over again that there was no way he would remember me. he was a jock, and i barely spoke. it wasn't the fact that i was shy, high school just wasn't for me. i counted down the days to graduation. i was only there because i had to be. i put more focus on my studies than my social life. 

in the back of my mind, i can't help but fear that seeing him will bring back memories of being the closed-off kid i was back then. as long as no one mentions it, everything will be okay. i repeated that to myself a few times before parking my car in the lot. removing my seatbelt as slowly as possible to buy time.

my hands are shaking as i walk to my studio. i send passing smiles to my coworkers as i make my way to the bathroom. i confirm that my hair, face, and outfit look presentable, and read over my questions one last time. 

the cameraman walks up to me as i take my seat to wait for the cast to arrive. "i just got a call; austin and drew are going to be the only ones you're interviewing today. madelyn, rudy, and  madison will be interviewed tomorrow," he says, looking for any sort of confirmation. "that sounds perfect," i say, smiling, still looking at my cards. 

i hear footsteps coming from the hallway and quickly stand up. austin and drew emerged into the room with their crew. "hello! so nice to meet you, my name is y/n," i say with a grin as i hold out my hand to them. they do the same, introducing themselves as they take turns shaking my hand. 

all three seats are now filled, so we can begin the questions. the first fifteen minutes go perfectly; we're laughing, they're thoroughly interested in the questions, and they're giving great answers. turning my attention to drew, i ask, "has this sudden change in lifestyle been difficult for you at all? to go from putting your all into basketball, to then deciding on theater in college?" 

he looks taken aback by my question. that nervous feeling in my stomach is slowly creeping back. i made sure that his sports background was easy to find online, so i was confident he wouldn't be too surprised. "wait a second. y/n? y/n y/l/n?" i can feel my cheeks flush at his realization. 

"can i be honest? i was hoping you wouldn't notice," i said, covering my face with my note cards. we are now sharing smiles. "oh my god. i sat behind you in algebra, you're the only reason i passed that class," he says in between laughs. seeing him in person has brought all of those little memories flooding back. 

after a minute or so of catching up, their team urges us on. "we've got other interviews, guys," the man says impatiently. we carry on for an additional fifteen minutes or so before i have run out of questions to ask. we said our farewells, and i thanked them for coming.

just as they were leaving, drew turned around, brushing past the guys they had walked in with. "y/n can i get your number? i would love to catch up properly whenever we both have time," he says, pulling out his phone. "yes, of course!" i smile, quickly typing in the numbers before they are once again rushed away. 

it felt like no time before my phone started dinging.

part two is here!

[eueuphoriaz]

Guess who else besides Kenny dare to scold Levi?

So, I find that this whole scene really didnt make much sense to me, especially in the anime. So I looked and noted some differences and putting my Levihan lens on, I conclude that this is a little banter between Levi and Hange, and Eren, yet again, got involved between them.

1) Hange vs Eren

Ok, it started with Hange trying to get more information from Eren from his "Attack Titan" mumbling. Then she tried to get support from Levi and Armin but Eren threw a tantrum and basically shut everyone up.

Now, the sequence that followed in the anime didnt do Hange justice at all. It kind of shows how she was just trying to irritate Eren but looking at the manga, Hange's and Levi's lines that were cut off would have made this whole prison scene more wholesome

2) Levi's attack

So, Levi sort of came to Hange's rescue by annoucing to Eren that his detention is over. Now Eren is calmer but we are starting to see a little banter between Hange and Levi.

"Hange gave you 10 day's worth of punishment"😏

"Huh???!? Huh!?!?"😵‍💫

Now, what I am seeing here is Levi, using Eren as the intermediary, to poke at Hange's quirkiness. And Hange, who was trying to ask Eren about his mumbling, turned her attention to Levi now and asked what is bad about the things she said.

The anime leaving out that part feels as if she has no capacity of introspectiveness, but yet we do see how Levi and Hange helped each other to stay grounded and focused, and at the same time, adding a bit of their own humour in poking at each other.

3) Levi help explain to Eren

Next, Levi tried to explain to Eren why they had approached Zackley to reduce his detention time. Levi is always looking at a bigger picture and he know that they need to build up the Survey corps fast.

So after Levi calmed Hange down and cue her that Eren also needed information, she explained what they had been doing and assured Eren not to feel worried. Let's just appreciate how patient and insightful Hange is, given that Eren just threw a teenager's tantrum at her but she still assured him not to worry.

4) Levi the moron

Now, it is time for Hange to payback Levi for calling her "Eren's 10 days' worth of punishment". So after she assured Eren, she called out herself and Levi as morons but the way she clenched her teeth, spitting the words and the speed at which she said that sentence in the anime, as Levi is walking away, it is like she is rushing to let him hear her words.

5) Hange's sadness

Now, I really dont appreciate Wit studio for cutting this Hange's scene out. It is already something that she is struggling and trying even before season 4. And Levi's line in the manga that the Survey Corp is now a 9 people organisation and they cannot afford to jail up anymore members, further show that Levi understood the sense of loss Hange is in. That whole prison scene in the anime, after cutting Levi and Hange's lines, really didnt do justice to Hange or Levihan at all. 😤

[starpunz]

I HAVE NO BLOOD (a sonic.exe creepypasta done under 24 hours) TW: blood mention, anatomy, stalking, abuse

(THE FULL AUDIBLE VERSION IS IN MY YOUTUBE VIDEO “ SONIC.EXE FORCES ME TO MAKE A CREEPYPASTA IN UNDER 24 HOURS - CREEPYPASTA READING” and the explanation of how I made this concept)

My name is Zero, ok well that’s not actually my name it’s more of a john doe but you’ll understand soon enough as to why my identity will mean as much as this story, I go by the header of SONADOW123JJ, it summarizes the entirety of my teenage years into an unbelievable title that frankly, I was too lazy to ever change, so please just list me as Zero. I’ve always grasped a fascination with the Sonic the Hedgehog series for a reason, something about seeing him resonates with me as wanting to branch off into being someone free, no longer becoming a passenger in my life as waves after wave hit me, I’m sorry I’m monologuing, this is the story of the boy with no blood, not mine.

This all started around 2 years ago, as mentioned before I was an avid Sonic fan of all forms of his media, despite negative reception coined by all my friends and just the internet in general, I still regarded these games as something to clutch onto for my time of comfort, which lead into my obsession of wanting all forms of his media, anything. In the definition of the word, I guess you can say I was a hoarder, my friends often saw this as an issue with my fascination, but at the end of every month I gave some of these things away to children or schools, I know I’m growing up so eventually, I just gave it all away, and some of the more prized things onto listings in eBay. It was a step in my life that I thought would make my grandma proud, I didn’t want to disappoint her anymore so I needed to be an actual man for once, at least the one I try to hide as, just enough money to try and change that later. The number of hours spent dumpster diving and begging on eBay listings were all going out of my own room as I tried getting ready for college, if anyone could try and convince me to stop me from what I was doing I would thank them, but I really needed the money, as stated before I was being housed by my grandmother, this story won’t explain why, situations are situations.

A week passed of me shelving out everything until I received a message listing the transaction of one of my prized possessions, one of the Sonic Adventure 2 soap shoes plushies, gosh those were so cool so I had to hop on the opportunity as soon as I got the notice, but the person buying it off of me was wondering if I was interested in receiving a novelty of his own that he’s been wanting to give away for a while. His name in this story is Tyler, an old rigid man past his prime who was collecting for the sake of reliving something that was lost to him.

tyler: hello? zero: hello! you’re interested in purchasing my plushie is that correct?

tyler: yes that is correct, I’ve been hoarding for a while myself and have the payment already getting ready, but I was wondering as to why this was being listed at a lower price than normal

zero: obviously because auction goes out of control, I’m too scared to deal with any of that so just shadow dropping it was enough for me to get it over with, besides I can’t convince people even if I tried

tyler: I see, that’s quite honest of you, would you be interested in a sonic novelty? it’s a one of a kind copy of Sonic’s Virtual Learning, well, it’s not an actual game by SEGA it’s a Mexican company produced rip off to try and use sonic as a teacher

zero: so like sonic’s schoolhouse?

tyler: I guess the Spanish version, it’s sort of like a virtual pet, I can send it in a USB drive considering you’re losing out on some good money, I feel like this is something to compensate with

I thought to myself, what an odd thing to give someone on the internet, especially for free with ebay, I’m trying to let go of all of my things so this really won’t help, besides I was really craving to say yes so using this as a test of my strength was really something.

zero: I’m sorry but no, though I thank you for the offer

that was the last message before the toy was shipped off, my grandma always warned me about accepting things from strangers, even less something that could mess up the family computer as dumb as a USB drive, could have had anything in it. 2 weeks went by, I would say about 50% of my collection was already gone at this point, I was feeling like I was losing a part of me that I never thought I could live without. Though at times I did cry, nothing more I could do, a testament to how much I was trying to be someone I was not. At the unspoken stage, even my grandmother didn’t want to admit it, so I just kept on selling what remained but that love still lingered, considering my lack of friends at the time, I could not concern myself with embarrassing myself more than I already do as of now, that was until I checked the mail in our apartment’s mailbox, room 34. it was open, someone left it open, despite the keyhole insisting it should have been sealed. I reached into the container and saw a yellow envelope, no address delivered back or post, it was as if someone just reached into my mailbox to leave it there, which wasn’t possible considering the key is still in my pocket. I give the usual bills to my grandmother, including all but medical, I didn’t want her to know about the incident, so I was paying that myself. I lodge myself into the darkness of my room again, sustaining myself with the necessary nutrients (just a cliff bar), scrolling through job applications, male position, male, male, male…mail… I look over to the yellow envelope I left on the bed, I couldn’t be bothered more than I already was with having to turn over a new leaf, so it wouldn’t hurt, besides if it was a bomb then I wouldn’t have to worry about anything later. I peel the seal open with my long nails and pulls out the bubble wrapping, revealing a purple USB drive. Oh joy, I have an old man stalking me and he left me with his picture I thought to myself, actual sick people on the internet I knew I should have just blocked him. I looked into the eBay account I listed the billing in, to contact Tyler again, however, eBay listed the account as unfound, The sick bastard covers his trails and thinks he can get away with it. for a few days, I just left it rotting in my desk drawer considering I was too busy with finals, but it always lingered in my head, nothing could anticipate what remained in that file, I wasn’t willing to risk it, despite how many times I’ve been called a moron, even I knew this was too wrong to be in my possession. I go on over to the police station reporting that someone broke into my apartment’s mailbox, showing them my key and the USB, if it had anything in there that would go against the law, I could not be liable, not with the time I was having in my life right now, I didn’t need that. Obviously, they didn’t pay much mind but just took the report, the USB, and 2 hours of my time in line. A week later, I got a knock on my door, it was a loud banging on a Saturday afternoon, obviously, I had only my pajamas on so having to build the courage to open the door was too much, I pleaded with my grandmother to do so, she groaned but complied only to find an officer at the door, it was a lean woman wearing her uniform with a plastic baggie in hand.

officer: “Please tell your son to stop wasting our time. he left this stupid game at our offices complaining this was a warrant of a virus or something serious, even the boys down by the home didn’t think any of this was meant to be serious, we have actual things to tend to”

some of the words still ring in my ears, but not the ones you would think. My grandmama apologized and brought me over in my bunny slippers to do the same, before the officer left, as per usual, I was left with a bantered long over over-explaining lecture regarding how annoying I can be at times, I couldn’t care less at this point, by the time I left the kitchen she was already making dinner talking to herself about me. At the end of the day I did my usual, nothing in particular but I finally got an interview ready for Tuesday, I felt really proud of myself for being able to find something in spite of the day I was having, but then it reminded me of why I felt this way, that damn drive. A joke? a big joke it was to them? I’m just an idiot who left it up to the police to handle these things so of course they’ll find it a joke, fine, i’ll fix it myself. in an almost fit of rage I slammed the USB right into my PC’s import , just begging for it to be over at this point, but in spite of it, it started downloading something. I felt the adam’s apple on my throat grow tense as I gazed my LED screen, feeling a sense of regret wash me over even more considering I had potentially just wasted the only computer I’ll own in my life as long as I’m under this roof, but when it downloaded, it showed an icon of a set of blocks stacked on top of each other, starting from the top to the bottom reading, S, V, L.. Sonic’s Virtual Learning listed underneath on the application, so it really was the same guy who bothered me, had his account was still up I could probably try reporting him, but at this point it was a loss in even trying anything, as frustrated as I was, I was more intrigued than anything else, considering everything, I clicked twice on my mouse as I drag my pointer over the app. The PC wasn’t the best at the moment, even behind a whole Window’s update, but it managed with the hardware itself being fairly old in retrospect.

The game booted up, with the logo of EDUCA-AYUDA on the front before my speakers blared me with the typical SEGA logo, piercing my ears with something I haven’t heard in quite a while considering I already sold my genesis console at this point, it felt, refreshing. The app itself began loading as it was installing more programs onto my computer, gosh what was I even thinking this is quite obviously a virus, why am I like this could I not have just been a son for once in my life and think with a decent brain? damn it the loading, why is it taking so long, I accepted the terms of service without reading anything why am I like this why why.

”AH SI!”

my heart rushed with anxiety, deciphering my future of trying to pay off this was already in the back of my brain, but I heard a squeaky accent speak out of my computer, a warp ring appeared above the clock on my computer, spinning in motion until Sonic the hedgehog leaped out of the portal. His sprite looked quite different, all of his tan skin was replaced with a radiant yellow, the cuffs on his gloves and socks were replaced with black, and he wore a red hat spelling out the words “JR”. My eyes forced their attention to the rodent on my screen, as the cartoon looked around in my PC with his hands on his eyes forming goggles, until his eyes looked right at the screen, his pitch-black pupils staring at me with glee intent, he pulls his hands away and raise his left to form a greeting hello. in which case a windows tab opened up, listed as “SONIC JR’S THOUGHTS”, appropriately showing a thought bubble in the tab surrounded with a black void, in which case he said. ”HOLA, YO ME LLAMO SONICO. JR! Y TU ERES?” underneath was a textbox in which I could respond, I pulled out my phone to use google translate to uncover his question, for the sake of this telling, I wrote Zero.

”QUE BIEN! QUE BIEN! HABLAS ENGLIS OR ESPANOL?” ”english” ”AH! ENTIENDO! I WILL TALK TO YOU IN ENGLISH TO LEARN: SPANISH!”

it sounded like a small child trying his best to form english sentences, I found the entire thing quite adorable considering I was needing help to even understand him

”ARE YOU A BOY? NINO? OR GIRL? NINA?”

I looked on over to my left, then to the my right, answering the correct response

”QUE BIEN! QUE BIEN! THAT MEANS, HOW GOOD, OR, JUST GOOD!” ”MI NOMBRE, MY NAME, ES, IS, SONICO JUNIOR!”

I giggled at the sight of this little man on my desktop, noticing how much attention I haven’t been giving this media in quite a long time, I answered the text box underneath with “nice to meet you!”

”ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU ZERO! ARE YOU READY TO PLAY A GAME WITH ME?” ”yes”

”YAHOO!” he replied as he jumped in a spin above my soundbar, he really was like a virtual pet, before I could find a way to respond, a timer began to countdown with a sans seriff font starting from 3 once the countdown was done, I met with a JR on the left of my screen getting ready as my PC automatically articulated a stage using other windows opened on my screen, all trailed with letters as a replacement for rings, spelling out, F A M I L I A once it hit zero, a timer showed up filling in 10 seconds, my fingers were already pressed against the right button and using space to form out the word, as each word flew to the top of my screen, jumping on top of each window using them as solid ground. At the end he reaches his hands out and smiles.

”FAMILIA! FAMILY! THATS WHAT WE ARE! ALL OF US! TODOS!”

it was already 9 in the afternoon, feeling the weight of school in the morning swept away as I continued to play with the virtual hedgehog. I learned that the mouse was in fact more interactable with the character than I thought, whenever I placed it on top of his head and rubbed against his ears, he enjoyed the petting from me, I was also able to drag him around the windows, placing him down or above windows, even inside of some browsers. Obviously, it was not compatible with the everything, but it was so fun seeing him trying to push images across the screen out of my chrome bar. 12:34 pm, after a long day in order to log SONICO off of my computer, I would press on the giant X on the right corner of my screen, he would start to feel drowsy, yawn and tell me “BUENAS NOCHES!”, walking right off to the right of my screen to not be seen, following the window of SVL closing entirely. Before I turned off my PC for the night, I found a txt. file on the side of my tabs that loaded as soon as my other applications turned off, I double-clicked it to show a drawing done in Microsoft paint, utilising the paint tool to show Sonico jr poorly shown on screen, waving me with a smile, on the left saying “BUENAS NOCHES!”

This did instill within me some joy as I saved the drawing into a new folder, before logging off for the night. A few days passed by in which every day, I would run in on my challenges for the game while auctioning off all the rest of my things, after this interaction in finding this USB drive, I didn’t want to risk anyone seeking me, but even if the game itself could have had something in it, It gave me a sense of comfort I haven’t felt since starting my collection. Each night before I logged off he would provide me a drawing made by him, as if it were something a child were to show me to be placed on a fridge, each one titled with the exact date of my progress, this went on for a week as I continued his challenges, resulting in me learning some more Spanish that I didn’t think I needed to know, it really helped my exams. By Sunday, I would come into the application just to see Sonico JR run around on my computer as I continued my schoolwork, considering I was already in a job at this point from the interview, starting Monday I wasn’t going to be able to have as much time as I wish to have had with JR. Something in peculiar happened however as he began looking at my work, at the time I was in Anatomy filling out my work, I really wanted to be a nurse at this point so my studies were solely focused on trying to gain enough so that I was applicable for a scholarship, but I was stuck on one of the questions, i was not familiar with searching up answers, i needed to know more. we were following the subject on the heart, one of the questions being “what is the very large veins that bring deoxygenated blood to your heart to get oxygen?”

”THE SUPERIOR VENA CAVA AND INFERIOR VENA CAVA”

the thought bubble showed up unprovoked, I had placed him on the side of the window for a reason, but he had answered it by himself. I filled in the bubble from the multiple choice question in, congratulating in me getting the right answer, SONICO JR continued to do nothing but jump up and down from window to window, until I was stuck on another question.

”The left ventricle” silence fell in the air as I saw him do it one more, this time in a monotone voiced pitch that was filled from the rodent, I looked on over to the choices, before pressing on the answer. I felt my heart drop from my body, sweat pouring in not from my head to the chin, I pressed on, before I could even read the question he answered again.

****”left atrium” I try to file in the answer but it was already pressed for me, had I already pressed it on accident? I did pay attention to junior and my hand was still on the mouse, perhaps this is part of the treatment process, I pressed forward.

”The sinus node” I didn’t even scroll to the next question, i was simply staring at my screen, perplexed by the compelling usage of this artificial hedgehog, I looked right at him, it felt like he was trying to pretend he wasn’t there, like he was playing with me and me only for what? a kick? does he think I’m too stupid to even try it myself? I felt the revelation in my skin shiver down to my bones, does he want to play a game with me? In an effort to show him where I stood, I quickly dragged my mouse above his head and began lifting him in the air, flying around the screen shaking my mouse, dragging it back and forth watching him dangle on my cursor for dear life. When I was done having my fun, I think I kind of had a panic attack, did I just hurt him for trying to help me? Why was I having so much fun applying this to him? Everything I do will be just like him won’t it? I got off the computer for a moment to go to the bathroom, feeling an illness in my stomach creep over, comprised of guilt. Dinner passed, in which I came back to my desk only to find Junior gone, but the X on the right was still right there, hurriedly, I search in my folders to try and find him, in which case I remembered the drawings folder, it was gone as well. I felt a sudden shock as I looked into the recycling bin, finding the folder inside, I recover the images from the bin and heard a sound of sobbing. I looked everywhere in the folders to try and find him, until I accidently pulled aside the window I was doing my homework on, he was hiding behind it. I click X on the tab and slowly place my cursor beside his head, slowly caressing his head in an effort to comfort him, a thought appeared.

”i can’t cry.” ”why?”

”…” the sonic cartoon slowly hugged the mouse, feeling the comfort of the white cursor embracing him as I continued to pet him. That night I didn’t turn him off, I was to keep him on at all times to apologize, but most importantly, to monitor him, something scared me, but it seemed like he was more afraid of me than anything else. A few minutes later it was like he was back to his natural state, shouting in Spanish sonic catchphrases as he played around on my window, even during my homework he wasn’t continuing to answer any of my questions on the papers. I thought to myself as to how I can engage him on my work, remembering how he was able to access only the folders that came from his drawings, i placed the multiple choice review in the drawings folder for him to hopefully do. The night came, in which case I left him on as promised, but found in the folder a copy of my homework, filing every answer correctly, but showing doodles of the heart on the side of the paper, he was learning alongside me, it was a fascinating discovery until I reached down to the bottom of the paper, reading a title that had not been seen in my heart for years. “mother.” Before I could question Junior, I watched as he exited the stage right. Nothing entailed right after, I felt as though I had grasped the eeriness of the situation.

Days followed, I started working over the course of a week, completely forgetting about the boy left on my computer, I thought to myself that I had already done enough to him, if he really was alive inside, then it was better left alone than to disturb him. I get back home Thursday with my grandmother already waiting for me, knocking me on the head with a newspaper as she pointed right at the computer before leaving, it seemed like cat was out of the bag at this point, but no harm in having a bit of fun considering the long day I’ve had, Junior was in no means a virus, just a boy. He was just a boy. At that moment before I turned on the monitor it dawned upon me, I had left him alone for a week, I had left him to his own thoughts confided for the sole amusement being all of my files, what could he have learned in that time? I felt as though I had left him, I went to quickly log into my account. Loading in, nothing of any interest was any different, except the fact that the X on the top right had been clicked, junior was gone and it was all my grandmother’s fault, had I done something sooner I should have known he wouldn’t be ok alone, but then I remembered, every day he would leave a drawing for me, something to communicate with, was he generating something more? Dragging my shivering fingers to the folder, I open the images finding a trailing of images. these are the following.

-an image of a boy holding the hands of his father and mother beside a beach- -the boy alone on the beach- -the boy alone on the beach with his mother, the father on an island alone from the family-

but this was where the drawings ended, it was curious considering this was in peculiar considering 4 days had gone by, only 3 drawings were shown in the folder, but I see that there was another modified copy of the heart anatomy homework that I had left for Junior to discover inside, I clicked on it and began reading.

he was learning, he began breaking down more and more about the human heart, where the vessels originated from, he was slowly forming out blood as a concept familiar to human survival, inscribing with the paint tool, stating ”is red blood?” ”do I have blood?” ”does my heart beat the same as mama?”

questions lingered as he began trying to adapt to more of my language from my answers in the document, I scrolled to the end of the file, it was originally an empty blank page meant for filling your name, but what I found was an identity the same as the one I would have written. He had drawn an entire human circulatory system, articulating by reds and blues naming each one our, with the heart missing from the in depth analysis on the human body. I placed the document to the side before booting up SVL one more time, hearing the two introductions once more, I was greeted by him on the ground, the monitor had turned into the typical blue screen but there was no error message, just him in the middle of it. I gazed upon the child as he looked right at me, I knew it was him staring at me because my webcam had turned on, a window popped up with my face right on it, staring right at him. He looked at me for a moment, incapable of having to witness what was facing him at this very moment, I slowly placed my hand on the camera, in which he did the same, his back turned to me on the monitor but his palm up against mine on the window.

”what are we?” it was another question, the same as the one from the beginning when he was teaching me Spanish, I knew the answer was spelled out from the beginning. ”family.”

the boy stared at the answer as I typed it in, I wasn’t able to input the answer as he was fully capable of just looking at it himself, his reality was comprised of a 2 dimensional box, I was the only thing he will and has ever known in this void, it was reckless of me leaving him, but why do I feel sorry? This virus is forcing me to care for a program, it was forcing me to do something that no one had ever done to me, no one had cared to do for me. My fingers shake as I stared right at the camera, I slowly pulled it back before looking down, Junior stared at me in confusion ”family” ”famil” ”fami” ”fam” ”fa” ”f” ”.” ”n” ”no” ”not” ”noth” ”nothi” ”nothin” ”nothing”

I had to let go of him, I had to let go of this obsession, I was not to be tied from a simple file that believes it is more, he cried. He made those sounds that imitated crying, he was trying so hard to be human he was trying so hard to be something he wasn’t, something that he could never be, he thinks it’s so easy to be someone he isn’t, this conclusion resorted to my defiance, I had already set out on what I was going to do. Junior saw my realization, he popped another question.

”WHY ARE WE NOTHING?”

I placed my hands on the keyboard, I felt the shivering down my spine as I stared at this question, he was trying so hard to understand me, to understand what I had lost, why did he have to mock me? He knows everything about me because he’s seen everything in my computer, my photos of my family, my freedom, he saw why I was nothing. In a fit of rage, I grabbed the keyboard, slamming it against the PC, pleading for him to get out as he felt the internal software begin to break in itself, his cries began growing louder and louder, his pain was my pain, something I had to hide for the rest of my life. I pulled the cover of the PC to the internal software and began tearing into it, I smiled.

I felt nothing.

As I lowered my keyboard, a tear ran down my cheek as I felt it, I had killed my boy. I looked down at him, the monitor, it had already taken shape of him, broken, shattered glass splattered across the floor trying to find it’s place. I grabbed it against my chest, crying as I felt no warmth, he was cold.

For a month straight I was no longer permitted to any activities outside of school and work, trying to pay off the computer so that my grandmother could properly file her medication and taxes, in which case I resorted to driving her to the local library. My chest still hurt sometimes, feeling the cuts against my chest, I tried to lie and say a robber got in but she knew better than anyone I just wasn’t well, she would have called the police had I not just looked as pathetic as I did, all I had left was my phone to know when to pick her up. She always insisted I was better off at an asylum, but what could I do beside agree with her in silence, it was half past nine by the time we got back home after a long day at the bank trying to file a loan, I lept to the couch as my grandmother sat beside me, both of us exhausted from the tribulations it came with affording to live. She looked down at me, almost in pity,

”…I’ll go make some tea”

my eyes were too busy staring at the ceiling fan to even acknowledge her, it felt almost draining just listening to any more voices. That was until there was one last sound, a notification from my phone, it was an email, I’ve only started using them now due to the adult world I’m trying to put myself in, but this one was quite odd, it was an email to myself? I checked it to view what it could ential, only to be shocked that the message itself said it was sent out to 100+ other accounts, it was so strange until I saw it correlated to the student email, all of them, in my school. The email itself?

it was a drawing by junior. it was the husk of a body with only the circulatory system showing, with the reds and blue trailing behind the rest of what he was, what he wanted to be, a man. With the words on the bottom being: ”I have no blood.” he had logged into my school account, managed to send a message to the virtual world that transcends his own, that he had started to become something more, he was growing, he was becoming god in a world where no one can hear him scream, but me.

[fmluder24]

Here’s my fic for the @jewsinfandoms”Hope” prompt.

After meeting with Scully's doctors to start IVF, Scully and Mulder have a conversation about religion, meaning, and hope. Text below the cut.

TW: discussion of infertility and abortion

It is also a prequel to my fic Secret Mission: Baby Spooky which you can read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48569344/chapters/122513113

“Do you have any questions, Mulder?”

He glanced over at her from the driver’s seat.

“No. It was really pretty straight forward. Everyone at the fertility clinic explained every step in excruciating detail. I think I’ve got it from here.”

“Okay. There’s just a lot of rules before, during and after. And you’re not the best with rules.”

“Scully, it’s a very basic process. One I’ve done quite a bit.”

“But you told me you’d never—”

“No. I haven’t donated before. But I’ve… done the same mechanics a lot. So I think I’ve got this.”

“It’s just there was one rule you sort of balked at.”

“I didn’t balk at anything.”

“The two to three days of abstinence rule is actually very important.”

“And I will abstain for the requisite amount of time. Scout’s honor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Scully, how much of a horn dog do you think I am? I have a mostly functioning prefrontal cortex. I can hold off from ejaculating for a few days.”

“Mulder, when was the last time you went that long?”

“I… have done it before.”

“Since you were a teenager?”

“I plead the fifth. Look, I will do it. I am capable of following instructions when I want to. I will do everything they tell me to. I don’t want to mess this up for you. Anyway, looks like we’ve arrived at your stop, madam.”

He pulled off the road and into the parking garage of Scully’s apartment building. They sat together in the car for a few minutes, not saying anything and definitely not looking at each other.

“Do you want to… come up, for a bit?” asked Scully.

“Uh… no.”

“No,” Scully repeated.

“No. I have some stuff I gotta get done tonight. You know, all the chores that pile up as an adult? That stuff.”

“Yeah. Me too. There’s always stuff.”

“Always stuff to do. That’s adulthood. That and wearing stupid ties.”

“Try heels.”

“I have and I think I would rather die than wear them every day.”

Scully laughed. “You’ve—Mulder, you puzzle me. You always have.”

“Is that a good thing?”

She hesitated.

“Mostly. I guess. I’ll get out of your car now. Thanks for the ride and for agreeing to this. I know it’s a really big thing to ask of someone.”

She opened the car door and then paused.

“Mulder, I cannot believe I’m saying this. I almost don’t want to. I feel like it’ll jinx something.”

“Scully, you’re a scientist. You don’t believe in jinxes.”

“I have my moments of weakness, I suppose.”

“Well, say what you want to say and I’ll run around the car three times and spit.”

“What?”

“When you bring up Macbeth, or the Scottish play, I should say, you gotta run around the building and spit three times.”

“How do you—”

“I was a theatre kid.”

“You were a theatre kid?” asked Scully.

“Anyway, what were you going to say?”

“I don’t think we can just move past that. I always figured you were a jock.”

“I contain multitudes.”

“You should really disclose this kind of thing on your donor paperwork. What if it’s genetic? That changes everything.”

“Scully, what were you going to say?”

“Okay, okay. I was going to say that I feel… excited, I think.”

“You think?”

“I don’t feel excited a lot. But it’s… nice to have something to look forward to. A dream I thought I said goodbye to a long time ago.”

“I’m excited too. I mean, this is your dream and I’m just along for the ride, but I feel hopeful. Like there’s this bright light coming over the horizon. I’m happy for you.”

“Well… I guess I’ll go up now.”

“Have a nice night, Scully.”

“You too, Mulder. Just don’t—”

“I won’t. Don’t worry. I will be on my best behavior for the next 72 hours.”

“Thanks. Oh—” She closed the door again. “And let’s just keep this between us for the time being. It’s just a private matter and I don’t want people to ask questions.”

“Who would I even tell? Of course I’ll keep it to myself. In any case, it’s bad luck to tell people early, no? At least, my mother and father didn’t want anyone to know about Samantha until after at least forty days.”

“Forty days? Why forty days?”

“It’s not a fetus for the first forty days.”

“Actually, it’s not a fetus for the first eight weeks,” corrected Scully.

“You’re talking about science. What does science know? I’m talking about Halacha. Jewish law.”

Scully rolled her eyes. “Oh? And what do a bunch of old rabbis know about pregnancy?”

“Like Christianity doesn’t have some unscientific observations? Are priests any more knowledgeable? At least a lot of rabbis were fathers.”

“You’ve got me there. So forty days is when the soul shows up?”

“Depends on who you ask. Conception. 40 days. The quickening. Birth. It isn’t the main question. In any case, the baby isn’t a person until it’s born for most people. That’s why Judaism is overall more pro-choice. I mean, I don’t think your supposed to just get an abortion for fun, but no one is doing that anyway unless you believe crazy right-wingers. Abortion’s okay, good even, when it’s about saving the life of the person that does exist— the mother.”

“Huh. I had no idea. I guess I’m just used to the Catholic teachings about ensoulment at conception and that personhood goes along with that. I figured Judaism believed the same thing.”

“And do you… agree with those teachings? With what the Church says about abortion?”

“What does that have to do with anything, Mulder?”

“Well, isn’t that the sort of conversation we should have at this point in what we are doing? We’re trying to reproduce, albeit unconventionally. Maybe it’s something we should know about each other. I think it’s fine. Especially when there is the well-being of a full-fledged person at stake.”

“Fine. I do and I don’t agree with the church. I know the science and the circumstances a woman can be in that would cause her to get an abortion. But, I understand why the Church considers an embryo a life. I give weight to Catholic teaching, but I must confess that I haven’t exactly lived up to it myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I…”

“Scully? What do you mean?”

“I… I’ve never told anyone this and it’s something I’ve always felt conflict over it, but I actually got an abortion in college.”

“You did? That surprises me.”

“It wasn’t an easy decision. But the father was my married professor and I couldn’t exactly tell my parents what I had done. I was pretty sure at the time that they would have disowned me. So, I decided to take a pill and… that was that. And I never told anyone. Until you.”

“Not even in confession?”

Scully scoffed. “I can’t even imagine confessing that to a priest. It’s a terrible sin in Catholicism. It’s murder. But I… I was scared. Maybe it was cowardly of me. I wouldn’t do it again, but maybe that’s easy to say because I’ll never be a scared kid like that again.”

“Thank you. For sharing with me. I know that must be hard to talk about.”

“You know, Mulder, I’ve gone through phases where I’ve wondered about what I did. If it was murder like they say. And what kind of person I am to be okay with what I did.”

“Hey, you were young. And probably really scared from the sound of it. And I know you’re not asking me to absolve you, but if it’s any consolation, I really don’t think what you did was murder. The embryo was a few cells; not a person. I’m just sorry you ended up in a situation where you had to make that kind of decision.”

“You might make fun of me for saying what I want to say next.”

“Never.”

“Yes. You might. You’re kind of a tool when it comes to my Catholicism.”

“Well, maybe so but in Brooklyn, you— Never mind. Let’s not get into it. I’m not going to try to defend myself. You’re right and I’m sorry. I won’t make fun of you for what you want to say.”

“The thought has crossed my mind that my infertility is a result of my actions.”

“Is there scientific evidence to support that?”

“No, but we’re not talking about science,” said Scully. “We’re talking about faith and religion, aren’t we?”

“I guess so. When you’re making this kind of journey with someone, rationality kind of falls away at a certain point, doesn’t it? Falling into moments of weakness, like you said earlier.”

“Exactly. So when you first told me that I was very unlikely to ever have children, I wondered if maybe God was punishing me. Maybe this is God’s way of saying that I shouldn’t be a mother after what I did. You probably think I’m stupid for believing in all of that.”

Mulder was silent for a minute.

“Scully, do you think of God as your parent?”

“Mostly, I suppose.”

“Would you punish your scared child by permanently altering their body?”

“No. I wouldn’t.”

“And are you more moral than the God you worship?”

“No.”

“So why would you think that God would do such a thing to you?”

“I… I guess I never thought about it that way. But… then I’m sort of left with wondering why this happened to me.”

“That’s what’s always interesting to me about Christians. You have this faith, this belief that everything is part of a plan and has this meaning. I guess in some ways that must be comforting, but it seems like you all spend an awful lot of time twisting yourselves up trying to rationalize.”

“But often a twisted answer is better than no answer at all,” said Scully.

“Is it? It seems like the answer you settled on has been haunting you. The way I see it, sometimes bad things happen. And there’s no reason and no one to blame and nothing to be done except living in the aftermath.”

“How can you find reasons to keep going in the face of something that you think is meaningless?”

“I guess… I’m the product of centuries of ethnic cleansing and scapegoating. For me, I can’t sit there looking at generations of suffering and try to fit it into some story, some lesson about human nature and intolerance. It seems like for you, it’s intolerable to not have a reason. For me, trying to find a reason is what is intolerable. It’s actually almost insulting on some level for me. What matters isn’t finding a reason, it’s living with what is and finding my way forward. So, no, I don’t think your infertility is a result of your seeking an abortion. Not on a medical level, and certainly not on a spiritual one. What matters is what we do about it now. Which is why you asked me to do what you did. And I think you are going to be an excellent mother. Because now you are ready to be one.”

“Do you think it’s going to work?”

“If I thought this was an empty endeavor, I would have said no. That being said, I tend to believe in far-fetched things. But you, you’re grounded. Hope isn’t a thing with feathers in Judaism. It isn’t frail and flighty. It’s a tikvah, from kavah. Kavah means to bind together. Hope is a rope. A bond. A bond between people. So if you believe it’s possible, I believe it’s possible. If you have hope, I have hope.”

“A rope? One we can hang ourselves from? Sorry. I know you are trying to help. I guess I’m scared of starting to look forward to something. Because it’s going to hurt all the more when it doesn’t work.”

“Hey, it’s going to work, Scully! I know it.”

“Well, despite my best judgment, it’s your hope that is giving me hope. I tease you a lot about how… well, how silly some of your beliefs can be. But you’ve got to admit some of what you believe is very out there. The strength of your beliefs buoys mine. Are you sure you don’t want to come up?”

“Oh, fine.” Mulder smiled. “Twist my arm, will ya?”

The taciturn Scully had used up all her words by the time they got up to her apartment, and they sat together in front of her TV in amicable silence, slight and hesitant smiles on their lips.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Haiiiiiii

I love your art so much and would absolutely love to get a paperback. Unfortunately, I haven't exactly come out to my parent's yet 😅 and it might look weird ordering this, so I'd have to explain. Thier very supportive and I'm sure they'll support me, I'm still just very scared. Do you have any advice if you've done this before?

Hi!! And sorry for the late reply TwT

I think with my parents it happened kind of in that way for me! I started wearing aro/ace pins since my late teenage years (shortly after the ace flag became a thing hehe) and my parents just sort of... Noticed over time, I think.

My mom was the only one who commented on it (my parents are separated so interactions are separate). She wasn't very understanding at first (she is super understanding and supportive now, which I also pin on her being in a much better place in her life), but back then whenever she would express the usual "but isn't that sad" concerns, my two ever-supportive brothers would laugh it off like "no it's not sad / why are you even surprised she's made it obvious for a while". It helped me a great deal.

I guess one thing to keep in mind is there may be an initial lack of understanding, there's always a risk (though it's much lesser if your parents are supportive already!), but you shouldn't let that get to you, as much as you're able. Unless your parents actively try to force relationships you don't want on you (which would suck for anybody in any orientation), they can't do anything to physically prevent you from living as who you are. In my younger years I tended to shrug off a lot of people who didn't understand my orientation. I knew who I was and that was all I needed. I know I make it sound easier than it is probably TwT But I hope this can help anyhow!

EDIT: I almost forgot to say! I've found that even though she didn't understand much at first, my mom was quick to ask questions and lend a listening ear to understand better, so in my own experience, you shouldn't be afraid of responding to questions from your parents openly! If they're supportive, they won't be like those people who just ask stuff to "negociate" you into actually being straight or indirectly make fun, it'll be out of a sincere will to know you better, and it can be really sweet.

[emeryhiro]

What are your thoughts about the whole bethyl thing? I personally saw it more as Daryl finding hope and light when he was in a place of deep despair - she showed him that there's still good to be seen in the world. And so it was a major loss to him personally when she died. Plus she helped him process part of his past trauma.

But I've seen Norman Reedus and Greg Nicotero say that while romance wasn't scripted, there was a taste of it in the air when it came to acting choices. I hate that idea bc she was a teenager and it makes me feel less good about Daryl. I guess I'd hope that if he started catching some feelings "he didn't understand" (as NR puts it), then he would see that they're too far apart in other ways for it to go beyond a father/daughter big brother/little sister sort of bond. What do you think?

Hey Anon!

Thank you for your questions 😊 I'm sorry it took me some time to respond. I just wanted to be careful with what I say and how I explain my opinion since the last thing I want to do is disregard or disrespect anyone else's opinions on the topic.

I agree with you. I always saw that the reason Daryl grew to care so much for Beth was because she gave him hope and didn't allow him to shut off from the world after he thought he'd lost everything and everyone that mattered to him. This ultimately made him feel like he owed her because she saved him, maybe not in the literal sense, but definitely mentally. Her persistence ultimately leads him to finding everyone again.

Only hours before having to be on the run with Beth, Rick had told Daryl about how he'd sent Carol away for killing Karen and David, and we saw how defeated that made Daryl feel. Realising that Carol had to shoulder that responsibility on her own and that he wasn't able to be there to stand up for her put him in a really bad place mentally.

This guilt was then compounded by the governor returning to the prison and killing Hershel infront of everyone, and the guilt that Daryl felt for giving up his search for Governor, which in his mind was the reason Hershel died and they lost the prison.

So all these things combined meant that Daryl felt responsible for EVERYTHING that had just happened TO EVERYONE. And no one was there to help him sholder that pain and responsibility.

Ultimetly his instincts kick in, all the walls that he'd slowly been breaking down come right back up, and he starts to go cold again just to numb himself from everything he's feeling.

And this is where Beth came in. Firstly, her innocence and optimism was the only thing stopping Daryl from completely shutting off from the world. She kept reminding him that the other's could have made it and that if they got out then odds are others must have as well. And secondly, she kept him busy, she was something that needed his protection and that gave him porpose and a reason to keep going.

After Beth gets taken, Daryl ends up with The Claimers, who he thinks are exactly the type of people he deserves to be around, because (in his mind) he can't seem to be capable of keeping and protecting anything good that comes his away, but by some miracle he's reunited with Rick, Carl and Michonne again, and this is where he realises that Beth was right, and if Rick and co have made it then it probably means others have as well.

I think this moment above was the beginning of Daryl starting to believe that he has value again. Rick's words begin to soften him again, but even after reuniting with almost everyone again, we don't actually see Daryl's guard come down until this moment below.

Every single shield/wall he'd been putting up until now is instantly shattered. He's completely exposed in this moment. His mind and body take a few seconds to register what his eyes are seeing and what his heart is feeling, and he's instantly running to Carol and into her arms without any other thought. This is the moment we can get a true reading of his feelings.

Regarding how he felt for Beth...

Yes, I think there may have been some confusion from Daryl's side about what he was feeling for Beth, just like how Norman has described it previously; he cared for Beth, she was nice to him, and that was so rare in his life that he misread the whole situation and couldn't interpret what he was actually feeling. In my opinion, there was no romantic feeling or intent on either side; they were both just navigating a new form of friendship that they'd never experienced before. And if I had to, I'd compare his relationship with Beth to his relationship with Lydia. To put it very simply, he felt responsible for protecting these young girls who, at the time, had no one else on their side, and ultimately, both girls saved him in return and looked up to him as a role model.

~~~~

Thanks again for the questions 🩵 I really hope I did this justice because my main goal is to keep my blog a positive place for everyone.

I know there are many varying opinions on this topic, but I'm glad I got the chance to share mine, and I just wanted to once again say that this is my opinion and not meant to invalidate anyone else's 🩵

[supernova049]

Rewatching 'The Bells Of Saint John' because Russel recommended doing it before seeing the finale,

some thoughts as I watch it:

"If he truly is mad, then this is his madness" when talking about Clara so true <3

Now that it's been pointed out to me, I can't unsee that the book Clara loves is written by Amy, and that Amy specifically intended to make the eleventh chapter the saddest one.

I love the borderline randomness of 11 choosing to go with the monks. Sometimes The Doctor just goes to random places and periods of time, he just likes doing that.

I like how casual the mystery of "the woman from the shop" is set-up, you probably wouldn't even notice the weirdness from it and even if you do then you won't remember it like 20 episodes ater once the reveal happens.

Now with 'The Devil's Chord' I very much believe that every time "I Am The Doctor" started playing 11 could hear it and got a boost of energy from it lmao.

The Doctor sending a message stating Clara is under his protection is a nice reminder that 12's "duty of care" didn't start with him lol.

11's own duty of care is extremely underrated imo. Literally getting Clara to bed, doing all the chores, guarding her house, etc. He is a complete fucking freak and the worst part is that Clara likes it and enables him on it.

It's funny how the joke about twitter aged perfectly but the reason Clara makes the joke aged quite poorly.

Clara thinking The Tardis was a kissing booth, oh they're so teenage romance coded.

I adore when they get into The Tardis and it's meant to look like one continuos shot showing as they go from ground into the plane. Great way to show how The Tardis going from one place to another must look from the perspective of the companions.

The Doctor talking about "the long way round" while Clara is sat in front of him drinking a milkshake, these two can't do anything without making it a parallel.

Love the little moment of both of them fighting for the computer and then Clara telling him to go get coffee. Nice showcase of their dynamic in a small and casual way to later contrast it by showing how it works in a bigger and more extreme scenario.

"No, no, I didn't, I- Shut up!" you can see 12 slowly being shaped inside of him.

I honestly completely forgot The Great Intelligence was in this. Never really got the hype for it (or at least the hype the show has for it as I've never seen people talk about it that much), I guess it will make more sense once I inevitably watch 'The Abominable Snowmen'.

"Where's my mommy and daddy?" JESUS

I like how they establish Clara always had a natural sense for adventure, the only reason she didn't travel was that she doesn't try to escape from the people she cares about as she knows she has a responsability/devotion to them. It's a good way to explain both her natural liking for The Doctor but also to show why she doesn't instantly get completely addicted and sucked in into having adventures lol.

"You know, the thing about a time machine is that you can run away all you like and still be at home in time for tea" yeah no shit Clara developed an addiction, The Doctor borderline encouraged it. This really highlights what makes Clara stand-out from other companions which is that from the get go she tries to balance her 'normal' life with her life on the Tardis and doesn't try to drop one for the other, as long as she is back for tea time she has everything under control and can live both lives without worrying of sacrificing anything. Two lives, two halves, almost like she is some sort of Hybrid- [GUNSHOTS]